#how’s everyone else doing lol merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah

[chanagun]

My brain, at any point of the day no matter the time or situation: Baby, got me looking so crazy 빠져버리는 daydream Got me feeling you 너도 말해줄래 누가 내게 뭐라든 남들과는 달라 넌 Maybe you could be the one 날 믿어봐 한 번 I'm not looking for just fun Maybe I could be the one Oh baby 예민하대 나 lately 너 없이는 매일 매일이 yeah 재미없어 어쩌지 I just want you Call my phone right now I just wanna hear you're mine 'Cause I know what you like boy You're my chemical hype boy 내 지난 날들은 눈 뜨면 잊는 꿈 Hype boy 너만 원해 Hype boy 내가 전해 And we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm mm Take him to the sky You know I hype you boy 눈을 감아 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm mm Take him to the sky You know I hype you boy 잠에 들려고 잠에 들려 해도 네 생각에 또 새벽 세 시 uh-oh 알려줄 거야 They can't have you no more 봐봐 여기 내 이름 써있다고 (Yeah) 누가 내게 뭐라든 남들과는 달라 넌 Maybe you could be the one 날 믿어봐 한 번 I'm not looking for just fun Maybe I could be the one Oh baby 예민하대 나 lately 너 없이는 매일 매일이 yeah 재미없어 어쩌지 I just want you Call my phone right now I just wanna hear you're mine 'Cause I know what you like boy You're my chemical hype boy 내 지난날들은 눈 뜨면 잊는 꿈 Hype boy 너만 원해 Hype boy 내가 전해 And we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm mm Take him to the sky You know I hype you boy 눈을 감아 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm mm Take him to the sky You know I hype you boy

[indigo-corvus]

Banana Splits Christmas Headcanons, GO! Spew em’ out! Even if it’s the eve of christmas- but oh well- I’ll reblog your respose with my silly ol’ headcanons in return in the tags.

*CRACKS KNUCKLES* Here we go!

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

- The Splits always decorate the clubhouse a day or two after Thanksgiving (depending on how full they are)

-Fleegle, (naturally) takes the lead in decorating, deciding where and when things should be hung.

-Fleegle and Snorky make sure no corner goes undecorated! There's tinsel and garlands everywhere, bows above every window, etc.

-Snorky loves all of the lights, and will sometimes sleep in the main room of the clubhouse to watch them blink as he drifts off to sleep.

-Bingo on the other hand, loves the decorations, but Hates being the one to put them up. He just likes putting the star up on the tree and then marveling at "all his hard work".

-The caroling begins literally the second the star lights up, and doesn't stop until January.

-It's mostly Snorky, Drooper, and Fleegle that do it All Day Every Day, but if he is in the room, Bingo will often be persuaded to join in. Their harmony is amazing, since they're so used to singing/recording together!

-Fleegle likes to read The Night Before Christmas to everyone on the 24th. He sits in the armchair and they all gather 'round.

-Bingo watches The Nightmare Before Christmas every year, even though Fleegle INSISTS it's a Halloween movie only. This "fight" happens Every Year. (It's more like a silly back and forth)

-Snorky goes Full Baking Mode, and pumps out 2 dozen cookies every other day. (He knows that the gang can't resist his famous snickerdoodles and decorated sugar cookies)

- Sometimes the boys help him out with the cookie decorating and turn it into a party! (It's always a good time with the Splits around!)

-Drooper is always extra careful with his tail this time of year! He doesn't want it to be confused for a garland, or to mess up any of the decorations they worked so hard on.

-Bingo makes The Best eggnog ever! (Family recipe!) It's spiced and creamy, and it's always gone the same day he makes it. (Sometimes he adds a little bit of rum to his nog when nobody's looking!)

-Drooper loves the old school Rankin Bass Christmas specials! His favorite is the Rudolph and he likes the Burl Ives snowman.

-Snorky loves hosting ugly Christmas sweater parties! He makes his own sweater every year. :)

-Fleegle is a very practical gift giver! He will gift something he knows will be useful, that is related to the gang's interests. (Paintbrush sets, cameras, etc)

-Snorky is a sentimental gifter! He will give a picture of everyone hanging out in a really pretty frame, a scrapbook, or something else that has a lot of meaning behind it, with a very heartfelt letter of friendship.

-Bingo is a silly gift giver, and will often get gag gifts followed by an actual gift. Snakes in a fake peanut brittle can with a nice quality sweater, 6 individually wrapped copies of Space Jam with a movie that one of them actually wants to see, one soap that smells like buttered popcorn and one that smells like honey or whatever.

-Drooper is all about the music, and will gift an instrument that the other hasn't tried to play yet. (Hard to do, since they are all fabulous musicians and try new instruments all the time!)

-Snorky and Drooper are the gift wrappers. Fleegle and Bingo are just terrible at it lol. Fleegle over complicates the wrapping, and Bingo is a very messy present wrapper lol.

-Every year they leave out a plate of milk and cookies, and every year, Ogre sneaks out and eats them. The gang always thinks it's Santa.

Happy holidays everyone! Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, etc!

May your next year be merry and bright!

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

prompt 16 & 19 with jimin please 🥺

  Wow, so this went way over what I think the drabble limit is. Either way, I had a lot of fun with this request and it surprisingly came easy to me. So Anon, whoever you are, I hope you enjoy this and have a Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah or good day off. Me? I need to go to bed, because I open early tomorrow at work. Lol

Prompts: “You don’t have to pretend to be okay with me.” “I read your note. I know you didn’t mean for me to, but I’m glad I did.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  You often wonder what your life would be like without Park Jimin. On one hand his friendship is the only reason you have any friends at all. If he hadn't decided to 'adopt' you in second grade, you are sure you would've been a hermit. Yet on the other hand if you never met Jimin, your heart wouldn't be in so much pain. Falling in love with your best friend isn't the fairytale dream, movies portray it as. There is none of that will they, won't they crap or slipped confessions and longing gazes shared across textbooks. 

    Instead you get this: sitting next to Jimin and his girlfriend Hyejin while watching a movie of her choosing. A first row seat to the reminder that Jimin loved someone else. "I still don't get it. Why would you write a love letter just to not send it?" Jungkook asks, from his spot on the floor. 

    Tonight is your biweekly movie night, and friends are scattered haphazardly on your living room floor complaining about this week’s choice. Orinignally it was Jimin's turn to choose, but he gave it to Hyejin who excitedly chose To All The Boys I Loved on Netflix. Not your group's usual genre hence the criticism. "It's how she deals with her emotions." Hyejin explains. "She writes a love letter and that's the end of her crush."

    "Seriously Kook pay attention." Jimin teases with a wink. 

  Jungkook flips him off. "This movie is stupid. I mean isn't that what diaries are for?"

  "I don't know. Do girls even own diaries or is it all Hollywood lies?" Jin questions from his spot on the recliner. 

  Besides him, Namjoon shrugs. "Don't know. I never snooped around my sister's stuff."

    "Same. " Taehyung voices for the floor.

"Really? My sister owned one. Used to hit me every time I went near the damn thing. " Hoseok laughs next to Yoongi. 

  You roll your eyes at the exchange. Sometimes you forget how clueless the guys could be about girls. On campus they are such charmers, it's easy to forget how stupid they really are. "Shhh…. you're missing the movie. " Hyejin shushes.

   The boys make a face, but the conversation ends at that. At least it does until your phone dings.

  Jimin: So any diaries I should know about? 🤔

 Me: Like I'd tell you. 

 Jimin: Ouch, you wound me, (Y/N). I thought there were no secrets between us. 💔

Me: If there were they'd be in my diary. 😝

Jimin: Evil. Pure evil. 

  "Babe, watch the movie." Hyejin whispers. 

Your heart squeezes painfully as you watch Jimin set aside his phone to cuddle Hyejin. Deep down you know you have no right to be jealous. You had years to confess your feelings but never did. Fear always stopped you and now it is too late. 

   "I-I think I'm going to turn in. I'm not feeling so good suddenly." You excuse, leading to your feet.

  The guys shoot you a pitying look. They all know how you feel towards Jimin. Everyone but Jimin knows about your crush.  "You okay? You're not feverish are you?" Jimin asks, sitting up.

   He reaches out to feel your forehead, but you dodge him. "It's my stomach!" You lie quickly. "I think it was the Chinese food."

   "Yeah, I'm feeling kinda queasy too. I think I'm gonna head in too." Jungkook adds quickly. 

    You send him a grateful glance, before disappearing to your bedroom. Silently you remind yourself to upgrade Jungkook's rank on your  friend/ roommate list. With a sigh you sink into bed struggling to push Jimin out of mind. However he lingers just like he always does. 

    No matter how you toss and turn or try to distract yourself, Jimin is always somewhere on your mind. It doesn't help that the two of you are roommates either.  "Come on, get a hold of yourself." You whisper to yourself. "You know by now how he feels, so why torture yourself?"

   Unfortunately despite the pep talk your mind refuses to quiet. You're about to give up when an idea appears. Maybe Hyejin’s cruddy movie is right. Maybe you need to write how you felt- like some sort of fake confession, then perhaps you can move on? 

    You move to your desk decided. Although you don't have the envelopes or stamps Lara Jean had (cause let's be real, who writes letters anymore), you can pretend it is a note like ones Jimin received back in high school. A note to the boy you loved before.

-------------            -----------------       ---------------- 

    After that night your feelings become a little easier to manage. The note labeled plainly 'Park Jimin' sits on the very top of your closet safe from sight. It is your own little dirty secret of emotions that would one day fade away. Surprisingly it gives you comfort knowing that even as time changes your feelings, the love you felt for Jimin would remain present in that note.

    "Guess what guys? The guy at the coffee left his number on my cup. I'm thinking about calling him, what do you think?" You inform, plopping the groceries down on the table. 

     Normally you'd keep such flirtations a secret, seeing how they always ended before they could begin. However since your 'confession' you feel ready to consider options beyond Jimin.  "I think who the hell are you and where's the real (Y/N)!" Jungkook cries dramatically. 

   You blink confused. "What the hell type of reaction is that?!"

    "An honest one. Now tell me what you did with my roommate?" Jungkook continues.

   You roll your eyes, turning toward Jimin who has yet to say anything. "What about you? Do you think I'm crazy to want a date?"

    Jimin says nothing merely staring at you like you've grown three heads. An exasperated sigh escapes you. "Seriously? I support you guys all the time, why can't you do the same-"

    "I read your note." Jimin declares suddenly. Your blood freezes at his words. "W-what?"

  "Your note. The one confessing your feelings for me? I found it by accident searching for your chemistry notes from last semester." 

   His words are clear Korean yet your mind refuses to comprehend them. "No. That's impossible. I put it somewhere safe. Somewhere  where you can't find it."

   "I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I read your note. I know you didn't mean for me to, but I'm glad I did." He says, stepping closer. 

    Panicking you step backwards hitting the door. No. No.  This couldn't be happening. You are just dreaming. Your note is safe and Jimin is blissfully unaware of how you feel.  "Please, please just forget you ever found it." you beg.

   A dark look forms on Jimin's faces. It’s one you've only seen a few times when he was truly mad. "Why? So you can continue pretending to be okay seeing me date other girls?"

     "I'll get over it. I swear-" you babble, only to be cut off by him caging you between his arms and the door.

     "You're not listening to me,  (Y/N). You don't have to pretend to be okay with me. You especially don't have to pretend to be okay with me dating other people. Not when I love you too. "

  Your mind stops. "What?"

The dark look on Jimin's face  suddenly transforms into an almost melancholic smile. Gently his hand reaches to cup your face.  "I said I love you too. I have since we were kids."

    "But what about Hyejin?" You ask. 

Jimin shrugs. "I broke up with her last week. It was never going to work out."

   You still  can't believe your ears. Not when  the world handed you everything you ever wanted on a silver platter. It is too good to be true. There is no way-

     His lips press softly against yours. A  full minute passes before he pulls back, a goofy smile showing on his face. "You're overthinking it too much, (Y/N). Just enjoy it."

   So you do. Even through Jungkook's sudden cheers of 'finally,' because really? Why the hell was he still there?

[shawnjacksonsbs]

No question I found my click, but just in case. . .  .   12-24-17

My Sunday morning calm is in full effect, here at 6:50am, this fine Christmas Eve. I know I am up a bit early on day one, of my two-day break for the holiday, but for good reason. I have been tasked once again with making the turkey. My first one, which I made for Thanksgiving, was on point. So, keep your fingers crossed that I am a natural, and that it wasn’t just a fluke. Lol

I planned, for most of the week, to write about good and bad vs right and wrong, moreover morality vs tradition in a sense, but have since changed my mind. I have decided to fill you in on a couple of different things on my mind.

First thing; I know I shouldn't "gossip". The he said/she said crap is for the birds, but I have been thinking about this lately, and figured I'd lay out the why, and where it came from real quick.

Having a conversation with someone the other day, who shared some of a conversation he had with someone else, and I found out that someone who I respect, who I know respects me, doesn’t have the “faith” in me that I have in myself about staying clean after I move back home. Doesn’t much matter if its all truth, or something I would normally just let go of, although I know better.

This isn’t to sway their minds at all. As a matter of fact, this person doesn’t even read my blog. Its only to reference what I was thinking. My life matters are different. What I hold in my mind and in my heart are also different from where they used to be. No one out here truly knows how far I have come, because they never knew who I was before. The ones who did know the old me can tell you stories, not too dissimilar from the ones I tell.

I also know that I am no longer a drug addict. I do not believe that way, but that’s just me. I used to. I also know that whatever works for each individual can be different. Thinking that I was and that its just “how it is” only helped in keeping me sick for so long. Any thoughts of using, which are scattered and fragmented, are all but gone. As I have said in other, earlier entries, without the cravings and withdrawals, if I go back out and start using again it will be because I made a VERY deliberate, and conscious decision to do that, not because I am addicted and trying to stay clean. It is no longer that life and death struggle that it used to be. That one I lost more battles with than the other way around.

I have put thought into structured support systems and contingencies for the only things that might lead me back down that way, which is a stretch. It has been a complete change of heart for me. The knowing what, why, and how in your head isn't all you need. Accepting, truly in your heart is when the healing really starts to set in. When it happens you'll know it too. You'll understand why holding on to the hope was so important.

Numerous attempts at getting clean before were all failures, but they did help me to arrive at my success. I know what “feels” and mindsets have changed. My life is still no where near perfect, nor do I imagine it will be a breeze when I finally move back home, but I know, in no uncertain terms that dope isn’t going to be a problem. Sometimes I wish my people out here could have known the old me, but if only for comparison.

Moving forward now. The other thing, which I have now decided to hold back details from was a good deed kind of thing, although it meant way more to me than that. It was an awesome feeling. With the universe conspiring to let another synchronicity happen which allowed me to help someone in a way that I could not have done at any other time throughout this year and just so happens this is right when they needed it. Going to keep some of the “good deed” details to myself this time, but I guess, I wanted you guys to know how I felt the universe can help line things up, especially if you’re looking for them.

Happiness has many keys, and remember you hold those keys. Don’t let the struggles you should grow from, hold you hostage. Once you are free, or freer, remember that helping others with whatever comes to you or about you is a good way of transforming all the keys into one solitary skeleton key. It all starts with you though.

And now its time to shower, make pumpkin muffins and start the turkey. It is going to be a good day. I truly hope each and everyone of you have a Merry Christmas, or Happy Hanukkah, or just an all-around Happy Holidays. And remember that thousands and thousands of people struggle with a wide range of issues this time of year. Count your blessings and be grateful for all, and everyone, that you have.

Until next week;

“At the end of the day, the only questions I will ask myself are... Did I love enough? Did I laugh enough? Did I make a difference?” - Katrina Mayer

[league-of-light]

PLAYOFF PICK’EM

The playoff championships are around the corner and I'm more excited than Phil is to give Katie some lingerie so he can see a girl in undies for the first time in person instead of behind a computer screen (This final pick’em of the season is sponsored by rubhub.tv, your international hub to rub one out). It's your two favorite people here, Mr. Naughty and Mr. Nice (which is which? That's a secret I'll never tell, xoxo Gossip Girl), the Sultans of Shadows, the Lords of Light, your cocomissioners of content, Willyboi and Juan Wandisimo here as we give you the final weekly pickem: Christmas Playoff Edition.  We’ll start with the consolation playoffs and then work our way to prime time, because I enjoy building suspense.

A note from the editor: I'm not entirely sure these consolation matchups are correct, but handling the Consolation playoffs has been an absolute nightmare so we're just gonna leave it and determine playoff loser by whoever has the fewest points out of the four of you. 

Bowers v. Dylan

Seeing Bowers vs Dylan in the fantasy football championship is like seeing Spotify queue up All I Want for Christmas is You. Seeing Bowers vs Dylan in the fantasy football consolation championship is like seeing Spotify queue up All I want for Christmas is You...by Michael Buble. Sure it warms your heart a little, but it's just not the same. Maybe there's some content since Bowers stole Jordan Matthews from Dylan? I don't know people, I'm trying to make this one work but it just makes me sad. And I don't want to be sad this Christmas. If I wanted to be sad for Christmas I'd go on a double date with Phil and Katie to the sex museum and then come home and watch the NFL give Man of the Year to both Marcus Peters and Michael Bennett with Jason while talking to Tom about Net Neutrality with Smiles Feldman as Evan reminds me Arielle is still a member of this league for another 3 days and Everett is not because that's just the kinda thing Evan would do and then have Harnsowl tell me this scene was the best scene in modern television, on par with Shannons feelings on the Minions movie. If I wanted to be sad I'd do those things. But now I've thought about it and so here I am deep in a pit of misery, I need to smile, Dylan please distract me and tell me who wins this matchup.

I know things didn't work out for Bowers this year, but I think he put together a really good team 🙂. He had some tough luck, but we all had fun and enjoyed each other's company, and that's what really matters 🙂. As for this game, I think my team of Jord's probably won't score too much, so I'd go with Bowers, but really, just getting to this point makes us all winners 🙂. Happy Holidays everyone!

Dear God no.

Samantha vs. Andy

These two duked it out all season for that Wildcard spot, only to have Harnsowl swoop in and steal it at the last second. I don't think there's much heart from either team at this point, which is a shame to see especially during this magical time of year. Perhaps tonight they will be visited by the ghosts of fantasy past, present, and future.  For Samantha I imagine that would look like Aaron Jones, Travis Kelce, and Todd Gurley (that's right folks, calling it now, next year she drafts Todd Gurley and breaks my heart) and for Andy we're looking at Julio Jones, TY Hilton, and Andrew Luck (rip).  Can one of these two find the fight in their heart to give this one last matchup everything they’ve got? I want a matchup that’s more electric than Dyker Heights or whatever that thing in Brooklyn is called, but I fear we’re only gonna get Christmas on the Mountain in this matchup.  Can you find it in your heart people? Do it for Tiny Tim.  Speaking of Tim, Dylan, who’s gonna win this?

I expect Mas to continue her impressive run. 2nd in Best Platonic Couple, tied 2nd for Chat MVP (a true miscarriage of justice as Phil won the award despite not being in the chat), roots for the 2nd best baseball team in New York, had the 2nd most successful fantasy football team of the Wettdgje household, was the 2nd banker to join the league, works in the 2nd largest profession block in the league (bankers, behind lawyers), and this week, she'll come in 2nd place in this matchup. Andy comes away with the victory.

Arielle v. Nico

"O man woodnt it b so funni if Will has 2 pay Arielle?" Sure, if you enjoy laughing at the fact that Nico got bumped out of the playoffs by Evan, then I guess continue to yuck it up about him potentially missing out on another $50. It's not like the man's home was ravaged by a hurricane a couple months ago, let's instead think about how funny it would be in 6 months when I Venmo Arielle/speak to her for the last time in my life. You're all monsters. Like the monsters Nico has drummed up for us in our spectacular D&D campaign. Because Nico is the best. I hope Santa brings him, Karla, and Nicole (yeah his dog is named Nicole and his name is Nico shut up don't judge him he adopted the dog and she already had a name. That's now twice you were a jerk to Nico in this write up alone. you owe him an apology) nothing but happiness this holiday. This matchup should be a blow out and your hopes for any lols will deflate quicker than Phils Christmas boner when he realizes despite buying the underwear the instagram thot promoted, Katie's instagram fittness (that’s not a typo, she spells it with 2 t’s) ass goals failed to make her booty look anything like Sarah Termini's or whatever that girl with the big donk is named.  Dylan, who u got?

This one is for the Loser's Bracket Championship. So whoever wins it is the best loser. We live in a world where Blake Bortles, the biggest loser QB in the world, is destroying NFL teams. Arielle had the worst team in the league this year, and her conduct has been so bad that it's led one commissioner to say, "Ariellle is out" and to angrily rebuke anyone who says otherwise (although I've enjoyed her recent resurgence). It's only natural that she'd find a way to be the best loser in the league and pick up the victory.

Evan v Harnsowl

O wow oooo wee this is it folks, the matchup of the week, the creme of the crop, the one and only RUBHUB MASTURBATION BOWL. A matchup that literally means nothing other than bragging rights, these two undeserving, ungrateful playoff teams deserve to play each other back and forth until the end of time. I award neither of you any points, and may god have mercy on your souls for taking a playoff spot from Nico and losing week 1 of the playoffs. Watching this matchup is gonna feel a lot like watching A Christmas Story Live! on Fox. You don't know who the hell gave this greenlight, or why they did it in the first place, but this is a flaming hot dumpster fee. And not the kind of dumpster fire where it's so fun you can't help but watch, nah this is a smoky smelly dumpster fire that the hobos use to keep themselves warm because they slipped up and became an alcoholic and their ultra Christian families abandoned them so now they all have is the clothes on their back and this dumpster fire to keep them warm this Christmas. In other words, it's just kind of sad. But hey remember this is the rubhub masturbation bowl so log on to rubhub and use coupon codes HonkIfUrHarny or SevenMinutesInHEvan for 15% off your first month (code depends on the winner).  Dylan, what do you think?

Hold on, I have no inspiration at all for this one. We might need to send this one to a special guest picker. I've got legit nothing

There you have it folks, you suck.

Phil v. Walsh

I've got to be honest folks this matchup doesn't tickle my pickle in any way/shape/form. Remember when you were a kid in elementary school on December 23rd? Lunchtime comes and you and the squad are talking about how excited you are to get presents, and little Ben Schwartz chimes in about how tonight is the 8th night of Hanukkah which means he's getting something really good cause his parents save the best present for last! There's no malicious intent, no anti-semiticism, but Ben frankly no one gives a damn. When the break ends I'll be more than happy to hear how awesome it was when you spun your magical Hebrew top for golden coins, but when Christmas is around the corner I can't be bothered. Anyway, this matchup feels a lot like that. I guess there's some excitement that Phil might win money for the first time in 5 years, but at the end of the day I don't really care. We now turn to Dylan Feldman live in the NFL Studio, Dylan, who you got?

Well Will, it's gonna be a great one this weekend, right Shannon *laughs for no particular reason*. Congratulations to Primo Content for amking it this far, but it ends today. Walsh has Lamar Miller out of *Warren Sapp off camera "Merry Christmas baby, here's a dildo... what? oh sorry, THE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*, and he has a great matchup this week against a Steelers team that will have trouble bouncing back after last week's loss. Phil is also relying on Leonard Fournette, but can he stay healthy? This is a guy who quit on his team before their bowl game last year, so we know he's not clutch. Walsh's team has heart, and that's what you need to win in the loser's bracket in the NATIONAL! FANTASY! FOOTBALL league. Back to you Boom.

Will vs. Jason

I wrote this matchup last, and now I know that I ordered it correctly because that handy dandy image I found this morning says to go I, A, O.  But you didn’t come here for Grammar Memes, you came here because this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  Let’s face it folks, no matter what happens here we’re all winners.  If this matchup tells us anything, it’s that irrational love for players is the key ingredient to making the playoffs.  I’ve got nothing else to say, so instead I’ll sing you a song. On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me.....

Twelve Nick Foles ducking

Eleven Jimmies ‘gramming

Ten Butkers a-kicking,

Nine Collins dancing,

Eight JuJus a-biking,

Seven Stefons a-digging,

Six Brandins a-cooking,

Five GOUUUUULDEN ROBBIES,

Four calling McCaffs,

Three Jared Goffs,

Two Robert Woods,

And a Todd Gurley for MVP.

That’s it from me folks. Happy Holidays, remember to have your pets spayed or neutered, Phil please use a condom tonight.  I’ll pass it off to our expert analyst Dylan.  Andylstan, what are we looking at here?

Thanks Boom. This is, of course, one of the toughest picks we've ever had to make, as both of these teams have looked truly dominant at times this year but also have had issues with injuries and seemingly some bad JuJu. To figure out the winner, we've had to develop a new algorithm that we call FORT MINOR, which stands for Final Odds Respective Teams are Memorialized Is Not Overly Rigorous. It is determined by a number of factors, weighted by their importance.

Luck (10%) - Marquise Goodwin was on another team 3 weeks ago, playing uninspired football. Now, he has no dad, no son, and he's putting up fantasy football numbers like he's Julio Jones. Nobody could have guessed Meanwhile, Sean McVay would be this good, and that's been huge for Willl this season. Jason's caught a good break in this category, but Will dominates this one. *Will - 8% Jason - 2%* Skill (20%) - Jason managed to get through the year with largely his original team. One could argue that having a better draft is more skillful. Will, on the other hand, put together a couple of blockbusters to keep his team at the top of the league. He has the slight edge here, thanks to his acquisition of Brandin Cooks (coming off of a very good week) and because of the work he did to win the toughest division in the league. *Will - 11% Jason - 9%* Concentrated Power of Will (15%) - It's in the name. Kudos to Jason, as he did show a ton of grit and determination this year, but there's no way he touches Will in his own category. *Will - 12% Jason - 3%* Pleasure (5%) - I actually think nobody got more joy out of this fantasy football season than Jason. His unbridled enthusiasm for Carson Wentz's breakout year stands apart from the rest of the league. Sure, Will has enjoyed Stefon Diggs, but he has players like that every year. Jason has been able to ride the Wentz Wagon to victory here. *Will - 1% Jason - 4% Pain (50%) - Here's where things get interesting. It comes down to a debate we have constantly in sports. LeBron or Jordan? Clemens or Pedro? Rice or Moss? How do you compare someone with a sustained run of excellence to someone whose peak has never been matched? Will clearly defeated Jason here for the first 13 weeks of the season. You would think that would make him the clear winner. We forget now, but the Dalvin Cook injury was devestating, and Allen "15 TD's" Robinson has unfairly missed out on this great Jaguars season. But they say you could hear Jason heart breaking from halfway around the world when Carson Wentz went down. In the end, that peak is too high to ignore. *Will - 20% Jason - 30%* Reasons to Remember the Name *Will - 52% Jason - 48%* And there you have it folks. FORT MINOR has determined that Will has a 52% chance of winning this week. So, by the slightest of margins, we're predicting that the Blastoise Brigade comes away with the title in a thrilling matchup. Either way, expect a great week of fantasy football. Back to you Boom, and enjoy the holidays everyone!

[minditruitt]

Divided Distinctions

I can’t remember if I gave them my holiday or if they took it. 

I’m not sure if getting tired of hauling all the decorations up and down the stairs from the garage had something to do with it.

Maybe I don’t like gingerbread as much as the paid advertisements want me to.

Could be, as Charlie Brown lamented years ago in animated frustration, that it’s just too commercial.

I started working in retail when I was about 5. 

I played store and would try to sell my parents things that they had already bought. Barbie would go to the AF Commissary or the BX and wait for GI Joe to pick her up in his jeep. This was the military version of shopping.

I remember making my Barbie doll have to deal with bugs in her food once.

WHAT?

Yeah, because when we lived overseas at one time the shipments of food to the Air Base (ie: oatmeal, kids cereal and flour) had bo weevil bugs in them and dammit if we had to deal with it so did little miss prance-around. I remember laughing once that kids in the states were pulling toys out of their cereals and I was sifting through mine looking for black spots that crawled. 

But retail is where it begins and ends unless you live under a rock. Our economy drives our money flow and gives jobs to hundreds of thousands. The stores, the magazines with the lavish pictures of Christmas trees on their covers, the malls, the television, hulu, zeboo or boo-hoo (whatever the live stream you use)....Walter Cronkite would roll over in his grave....are full of how-to’s.....you can learn decorating tips, DIY ideas, see new recipes, table setting ideas with different colors, china, sterling, and all of this combined is supposed to ignite your brain to leap into your car and rush out into traffic. With eyes bulging you blaze a trail to the nearest Starbucks....ok maybe not that....but I’m speaking from experience here.....

Anyway....you’re supposed to be consumed with an internal fire to beat everyone you see out parking spaces, wrapping paper, boxed cards, bows that come out of the bag already mashed and the latest and greatest gadget. You have to be the first in line, the one in the tent outside REI, the one that is computer savvy, the one who is hip to all the latest cosmetic tricks and the one who is full of pep and endless energy....Grinning like a crazed, happy, over- caffeinated spectacle happy to be alive.

Now if that isn’t reason enough to curl up on your couch and dissolve into a Netflix marathon I don’t know what is. 

Maybe I just answered my own question. 

Two years ago was the first time I felt it and I’ll never forget it. I was working in a high end, large and politically correct department store at an upscale cosmetic counter and one morning before the store opened the music changed from the usual fare to a holiday version. Most of it I knew from hearing the selections all my life. They weren’t religious hymns but they were melodies of the Christmas variety. 

I stopped what I was doing and looked around. For the first time in my entire life I was embarrassed that the music playing related to me and those like me. The Christmas celebrators......

By this time Christmas trees were everywhere because Easter had just ended....ok, that was sarcastic...lol....

We had been conditioned that as employees in the retail sector we were to address customers with Happy Holidays....we were not to say Merry Christmas....at all. So out of fear of “offending anyone” I dropped that phrase from my vocabulary unless I was with other people outside of work who celebrated Christmas as I do.....I became unusually self conscious of anything Christmas related. I didn’t even go to church to be reminded of the real reason all of this was happening anyway. Sometimes customers would make a point of saying Merry Christmas to me as a show of ‘I’ll say it because I know you can’t’. 

Why couldn’t a conversation go like this between two people?

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Jones.”

“Thank you and a Happy Hanukkah to you, Mr. Levin.”

What’s wrong with that? It is a greeting of distinction. It is a sign of respect for the other person.

I realize that can’t happen for many reasons....one being you may not know someone is Christian or Jewish or Muslim or anything else. Hell, they may even be Agnostic. Then you risk an even greater issue of ASSUMING that someone is celebrating something or that they are of one religion or another and that’s even worse. So the generic version of ‘Happy Holidays’ covers pretty much everything and is safer.

Now, I am not trying to disparage the celebrations of anyone else who has a different religion, tradition or belief. As a matter of fact I am dating a wonderful Jewish man whom I adore. I am included in all of his family’s celebratory dinners, holiday observances and I buy holiday cards for him and his family at Barnes & Noble. I try to choose elaborate ones with lots of gold or beautiful colors....the more dramatic the better because that’s my ridiculous personality. 

I have always enjoyed other cultures and I attribute that to my multi cultural military childhood.

But as I stood behind the Chanel counter that morning I felt something I had never felt before and it really bothered me. A friend told me that it was just burnout because the holidays are stressful with all the neurotic buying, long hours, cranky people and the fact that there was no way I could consume enough coffee to survive the onslaught unscathed without destroying my health.

Holiday buying has been something to be made fun of for many years....ever since I found myself standing in line at 4 am for the elusive White Power Ranger I have marveled at the stamina of people. For that ONE year I was one of them. I was in the club. I had joined the ranks of people determined that my kid would have the toy that was mandated that year to ensure a happy and successful childhood. 

Lord.....

I never did it again. 

Well adjusted? That’s another pot on the stove......

But here’s the difference. The frenzy was all consuming and even though I was a stay-at-home mom at the time I juggled a calendar full of school pageants, carpools, Christmas cookies, parties at our home and parties at other peoples homes.....I bought gifts for my family, our children, my husband, his family, neighbors and friends. I addressed cards, typed out on occasion those awful Christmas letters that now we don’t need unless you are not friends with that person on Facebook and know everything. 

I bought wine, groceries, elaborate decorations for the house and even more lavish gifts for the year end banquets and private dinners my husband and I gave at city clubs and hotels. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.....

And that is exactly the point. Exhaustion is a side car to the holiday cheer but that is a subject that has been written about ad nauseam and I refuse to regurgitate the same whiny dialogue. I’m talking about the bikers sharing the road with the cars, the airplanes sharing the air with the bird flocks and people sharing the holiday celebration season with other people. But our world is a world of only children. I can say that because I am one. I don’t mean that line as a negative hit despite that’s the way it sounds. What I am using that for is to point out that when we are used to our own way of doing something the introduction of something different makes us feel like we are being cheated out of what we are used to...the Christmas Carols flooding the sound systems, trees in every window, wrapping paper and cards on massive displays and jingling bells in the background of every tv commercial. And this way we can sit back at the end of the day and complain about it and how exhausting it is.....but if it wasn’t there it wouldn’t feel like Christmas which brings us full circle to the real reason of..... oh nevermind. 

We are now a society of many. 

Many people. 

Many holidays.

Many celebrations.

Many reasons to feel pushed aside by other people. But are we giving up our holiday because someone else doesn’t like Bing Crosby? 

No. 

Do we have to stop believing what we believe because another group of people believe something else?

No. 

This year for some reason I’m not as self conscious as I was that day a couple of years ago. The trees and music are festive and if I walked around feeling guilty because there’s a Santa in the middle of the mall then I’m doing it to myself. Aside from the fact that putting children on the lap of some random man in a red suit to take their picture screaming from fear has nothing to do with Christianity anyway. 

Your beliefs are your own. If you have the true spirit of your individual holiday in your heart that’s where it ultimately belongs and if you push your joy down in a fit of political correctness then you are giving up the holiday yourself. And that’s on you. 

I am not stupid enough to belief that life is that simple despite what people may think of me based on what I’ve written previously about life in general.....

All of us should enjoy these couple of celebratory months to become closer to each other not further apart. So enjoy what you can about this time of year. Many people are celebrating this year without people they love. My uncle included. There were horrible things that have happened this year and there will be countless people struggling with loss in the midst of a party atmosphere. Remember them, remember those who are lost, remember that having the latest gadget is not the reason for this time of year no matter which religion you subscribe to. 

Treat each other with respect. Don’t sit down on Thanksgiving and give thanks for all the things you have and what you’re grateful for, as the saying goes, and then go knock 140 people down to get the last known living gizmo of the year.

Take this opportunity to slow down in the midst of the frenzy and try to control the urge to spend money you don’t have to buy something you don’t want to impress people you don’t know......