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iamdeku · 4 years

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Needy: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Me? Making a fic title that isn’t based off a song somehow? Seems unlikely.

Warnings: school stress. makin’ out. not proofread.

For @sems-diarie

You hated your classmate Bakugou Katsuki with a passion. He was arrogant, brash, and extremely loud. He was rude to you and he was rude to everybody else and he was completely convinced he was the greatest thing to ever exist. There was really only one thing you hated more than Bakugou.

Being teamed up with him for your class’s newest group project.

You had pleaded and begged with Aizawa to let you pair up with literally anyone else, but he was unyielding. All of his pairings were final, and you and Bakugou were no exception. You were just going to have to learn how to work with him, your grades be damned, apparently.

“Alright, listen up,” you said, taking your seat next to Bakugou the day after your group pairings had been announced. “You are not going to mess up my grades. If anyone is going to mess up my grades it’s going to be me. I don’t think you’re an idiot. I know you’re an idiot. So just sit down, shut up, and follow my lead.”

You were perhaps slightly harsher than necessary, even for a guy like Bakugou. In your defense though, you’d had a truly garbage day. Your coffee machine had broken, leaving you with no caffeine this morning. It was an expensive coffee machine too, and you weren’t sure when you would be able to buy a new one. You had spent half of your morning looking for the manual to the coffee machine in the hopes that Momo could just create another one for you, and by the time you realized what time it was you had no opportunity to do anything but toss your clothes on before heading to class. On your way to class, it had rained, soaking you through because you had forgotten your umbrella and provoking Mineta to make a comment on the clinginess of your wet uniform. You had gotten a worse grade than you were expecting on your last test, you had tripped and spilled all of your lunch across the floor, and now here you were, having to sit next to your assigned group partner, hair still damp and mood still very, very bad.

“Hey, I don’t know who you think you are extra, but I’m no idiot. If you think we’re not beating everybody else in this class, then you’re wrong. I don’t know what you’ve been told, but Bakugou Katsuki never loses.”

You had known the great Bakugou Katsuki for the last 3 years of yours and his UA career, and now, in your final year, you were pretty confident that you still knew him. You knew him as a guy who had definitely lost before in the past. There was no particular shame in that, but you couldn’t afford to lose this time, especially not on Katsuki’s account.

“You better be right about that, pretty boy, because this grade is important to me. If we get a bad grade on this assignment it’s going to throw off my entire average, which I really can’t afford right now. Speaking of which, we really don’t have the time for all this dilly-dallying. Let’s get to work, king explosion murder,” you mocked.

To your surprise, the ever confident Bakugou turned bright red at the old nickname.

“Whatever. Let’s just get to work. We’re going to have to trade contact information so we can figure out a time to meet up. Plus I don’t trust you not to screw this up without my advice.”

You rolled your eyes. The nerve of this boy. The sheer gall.

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” You reached into your soggy backpack and pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper, scribbling down your phone number.

“We should just be able to meet up in one of the dorm’s common areas. The trick will be finding a time when everyone else isn’t working there.”

You sighed, knowing your classmates wouldn’t make the scheduling of this easy. Even ignoring the fact that you might have to deal with their noise and obnoxious planning, Bakugou’s sleep schedule was another barrier to your project design. He went to bed early enough to severely limit your time for working on the group project. You honestly didn’t know when he found the time for homework. If you didn’t do yours immediately it probably wouldn’t get done until the very last minute.

“We can just study in our rooms. It will be quieter there.” Bakugou shrugged.

You froze at his casual words. Study in your rooms? As in study in his room? Nobody had ever been invited into Bakugou’s room. Not his best friend Kirishima. Not his childhood rival Midoriya. Not even that girl from the gen-ed course he’d dated when you were second years. Nobody.

“Uh…are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?” He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re making a weird face, idiot.”

You shook your head. “Nothing. I was just thinking. Yeah, we can just study in our rooms. Just text me before randomly showing up, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Aizawa was starting up class, causing you both to shut up. You felt a part of you get very excited that you might be about to see Bakugou’s room. There was something sort of forbidden to the feeling, fluttering around in your chest like a stupid flock of butterflies or something. You were sure it was just the appeal of his room, the secrecy of it all. You loved knowing other people’s secrets. That must have been what it was.

As it turned out though, your hopes and dreams were all in vain. Bakugou texted you to ask about studying, not in his room, but your room. You complied of course. As much as you wanted to see the inside of his mysterious room, you respected his privacy. After all, rooms were sacred. Your room was a deeply personal expression of yourself, and you weren’t about to pry into his space. It wouldn’t get you a better grade anyway, seeing as your project wasn’t on the inside of Bakugou’s room.

You had cleaned up your room earlier in preparation for this moment, anticipating that sooner or later Bakugou would want to study in your room even if you had briefly entertained hopes that he would want to study in his. Your normally messy desk was cleared off, your bed was made and your dirty laundry was all in the basket where it belonged. If you hadn’t cleaned the room yourself you would probably think that you didn’t live here.

Bakugou walked into the room with all the posturing of royalty, shoulders thrown back confidently as he eyed your room. He sniffed, passing whatever final judgement he would, and proceeded to sit down at your desk.

“Nice room, nerd. Cleaner than I thought it would be.”

You grew uncomfortably warm at the truth of his accusation, feeling specifically called out. Could he possibly have heard you vacuuming earlier? It didn’t matter. You didn’t care about his opinion.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just get to work, shall we?”

You pulled out your notebook, taking a seat on the floor and gesturing for him to join you.

“Why are you sitting on the floor, idiot?”

“I don’t have two chairs for both of us to work at the desk, so therefore the floor is our next best option.”

“No it isn’t.” Bakugou rolled his eyes. “You have a bed, don’t you? We can just sit on your bed and that way you don’t have to break you tailbone on the floor. Unless you like sitting on the hard floor.”

You gritted your teeth, glaring up at the challenge.

You pushed off from your hand, standing so you could loom over where he sat at your desk. “Fine. Bed it is then.”

You took a seat on your bed as he stood up from your desk chair he had invited himself to sit in. You waited for him to take his spot next to you on the bed, but he hesitated. For a guy who had suggested this idea, he didn’t seem to like it very much. Your surprise wore off though when you realized that he was being…awkward. Bakugou Katsuki was being awkward.

Was it you? Had you done something to make him uncomfortable? Or had he just been shy this whole time?

You could have laughed at him, but instead you took pity. You remembered your first year, when you had been painfully awkward. Maybe Bakugou had always been like that and you had just never had occasion to notice until now.

“Go ahead,” you said, patting the bed next to you. “Take a seat. I don’t bite, and even if I did you would like it.”

You laughed a little bit at your own joke, even if Bakugou didn’t seem to think it was very funny. You did succeed in getting him to sit on the bed though, so some small victories were won. He was stiff and sat much farther away from you than necessary, but he sat nonetheless.

After hours of working together, you managed to have a rough outline for the project. It was sort of a tricky project, based around gathering knowledge and making a presentation on the hero you thought to be the best. Bakugou had insisted with surprising vehemence on making it on All Might, and you agreed with him. After all, he was the symbol of peace and had been the #1 hero for decades. Even though this was a move you would have predicted more from Midoriya, you figured if you were going to do this project you might as well do it right.

Bakugou got up to head to bed, but you stopped him before he could leave. “Hey…I didn’t know you were so into All Might.”

Bakugou blushed, nervously scratching the back of his head.

“I mean, we all love All Might, don’t we?”

“I mean, I know I do.” You laughed a little to set him at ease before revealing a little bit of yourself. “When I was a kid All Might was always my favorite hero because of his smile. I always thought that if someone were ever to come save me, I would want them to smile at me like that.”

Bakugou was silent for a moment, thinking about your words.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I was always so impressed by his strength, and the way people loved him. I always wanted to be loved like that. I wanted to make people believe that I could help them. That they could trust me.”

There was a deep sense of vulnerability to his words that made you want to know more and made you want to understand this boy you had clearly underestimated.

“Is that why you became a hero?”

He huffed, retreating back into himself. “I became a hero to prove I was better than everybody.”

In a way, it was a yes.

“Have a goodnight, Bakugou.”

He stopped in your doorway, looking back at you with a hint of that vulnerability from earlier.

“Goodnight.”

You had been working nonstop for the past 4 days. You had your schedule set up to an unreasonable level of strictness. You would work for an hour, watch a 10 minute motivational video, then work for an hour again. The only real breaks you took were to eat and sleep, and it was starting to wear on you. You just had so much work to do, and you needed to be free this weekend for the sleepover Mina was having, but you were exhausted.

You had finally reached a breaking point tonight, and you found yourself sitting in your bed crying. You weren’t pretty crying either. It was an ugly, exhausted cry, yanked out of you by the hours of work and stress. You had fallen onto your side, curled up in bed as the sounds choked out of you, ugly things breaking you open and cracking your chest and your voice.

Because of all the stress you had been under, you had completely forgotten about your group project. You had met up with Bakugou the first couple of days, but yesterday you had begged off and reschedule for…today. Right now.

You didn’t even hear Bakugou’s polite knock on your door, the same three knock rap he had given the last few days before coming in to work on your project with you for an hour. If he thought you were ignoring him or just not there, it didn’t stop him from coming in. You didn’t notice, completely oblivious to his presence until he spoke.

“Are you hurt?”

He rushed over to your side, rolling over your body to inspect you. His hands were surprisingly gentle as they skimmed over your body, checking for injuries, gently pressing into the divots of old scars. He found no hurt on you though, and pulled back, frowning.

“What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

You sniffled loudly, shamefully wiping your arm across your face.

“I’m fine,” you reassured him, repeating it for your own benefit. “I’m fine, I’m totally fine. Everything is fine.”

“You sound like stupid Deku. Every time he’s ever told me he was fine he was lying.”

You choked out a giggle against your will. “Yeah, he does that doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does. But unlike Deku you’re not stupid. You want to explain this little episode to me?”

“I’m just…stressed.” You sighed, explaining your situation to him.

He sat back, stunned. “Well no wonder you finally broke. Nobody can work like that. You have to have fun, you idiot!”

For such a nice sentiment, he said it awfully aggressively. He almost made you burst into tears again, but he seemed to realize his mistake, quickly softening his voice again as he floundered for something to say.

“I…you…I’ve never seen you cry before,” he said.

“Yeah, well, I do it. This may come as a surprise but I’m human too, y’know.”

His hands still rested on your thighs, and you looked up at him hesitantly, breath catching in your throat. You had, of course, noticed that he was pretty before. Sharp cheek bones, harsh blond hair, bright red eyes that dug into your soul. Somehow though, he had gotten prettier over the past couple of days as you had gotten to know him, gotten to understand him better.

Before, you had thought he was arrogant. From your conversations though, you knew better. He just cared about people too much. Cared about their opinions too much, feared rejection. You offered up a little piece of yourself in exchange for everything he had admitted to you.

“Remember what I told you about All Might being my favorite hero? I thought to be a good hero you had to always be smiling. You could never show weakness. Not anger or sadness or anything else. That’s why you’ve never seen me cry before. Why I’m always so happy go lucky. Because I have to be.”

There was a pause while Bakugou processed that information.

“That’s…stupid,” he decided. “You shouldn’t hold back on your emotions like that. You deserve to feel things. You can’t dedicate your life to other people like that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m starting to figure that out.” You stared down at your bedspread.

You were shocked when you felt a warm, calloused hand brush your cheek. Bakugou hesitantly, tenderly wiped the last of your tears away, and you felt something in your heart flutter. You had known Bakugou Katsuki a long time, but you had never known him like this. Looking up into his eyes did nothing to dispel your butterflies when you saw how soft his gaze was. Something in you ached to be looked at like that, to be held in someone’s hands as carefully as he was holding you now.

“Can I…can I kiss you?”

You weren’t sure where the question had come from, and yet you were, because some time along the way of getting to know him you had realized something. Everything you had thought there was to hate about Bakugou was really something to love. Over the course of this project, you had done something extraordinarily stupid. You had developed feelings for a boy who would never like you back. Which was why his next words stole your breath entirely.

“Please,” Bakugou said, his words a sticky sweet, fervent plea.

You blinked, daring to look at him again only to find him wide open to you. He was leaning forward, a look in his eyes you could scarcely describe, a feverish desire overcoming him. His hand on your face twitched ever so slightly in anticipation as you leaned forward.

When your lips met his, you were surprised by the easiness of it. You fell forward into him, arms draped around his broad shoulders as he pulled you in, large hand wrapping around your waist, firm and capable. He tasted like burnt sugar, impossibly so, and it made your head spin, made you dizzy with the sensation. It made you hungry for him.

When he licked your lower lip, you let him swallow you down, hands blazing a fiery trail across your waist to your back, making the trip over and over and burning into you with their warmth. You tugged on his hair lightly, eliciting a moan from him that shot straight through your chest. You gasped into his open mouth, your clumsy kiss flipping when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Everything became easier when you let him take over, let him pull you into his lap up against the hardness of his body and tilt your head to the side just so, pliable and soft in his arms. Kissing him became easy and natural, shivers running through your body as you surrendered yourself to the experience.

When he finally pulled away, you found yourself licking a mixture of your spit and his off your mouth, not even minding how profoundly gross that was. Normally you would have shuddered, but you were far too busy staring at him, mesmerized and breathless.

“You, uh…that was…that was really nice. And I think you’re pretty.” Bakugou coughed. “Do you want to go out sometime? Because obviously you need somebody to distract you from your homework, stupid. Look what you did. Made a mess of yourself.”

You ducked your head into his shoulder at his words, hiding your face and your embarrassment. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice.”

He hummed, the sound resonating in his chest and traveling straight to your ear. “Can I…kiss you again then?”

“I thought you would never ask.”

#you guys have to tell me if there are any glaring mistakes in here it is the law #i was too tired to proofread it #mha #bnha #bakugou katsuki #agedup!bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader

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crowsandkruge · 5 years

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Knives Drawn, Pistols Blazing

a/n: The fic I wrote for @grishaversebigbang is finally done! Yay! It was so much fun to participate in this event! I hope you like it!

Corporalki: my wonderful editors were @mybitchyoc @jesper-faheyyy and @kaz-aelin-and-jace-are-badass

Materialki: the artists in this gang were absolutely incredible!! they all made really cool pieces you should check out!! You can check out their art: @chaosvvolf here, @n8sue here, @zaleart here, and @evilfriendofmine here

Summary: Roeder’s a good enough spider, but Kaz feels his intelligence network is lacking since Inej left to go hunt slavers aboard the Wraith. To supplement his information, Kaz has taken to eavesdropping in bars across the Barrel. When he overhears two Dime Lions bragging about catching Brekker’s Wraith, he must gather old friends to get Inej back.

[without further ado, Knives Drawn, Pistols Blazing is under the cut!]

Kaz

Kaz hadn’t had a particularly good day. The cold had moved in the night before and every step made his leg scream with pain. It was early in the year for Ketterdam to be this cold, and Kaz’s breath clouded in front of him as he made his way through the narrow streets of the Barrel. The echo of his footsteps resounding against the cobbled streets. He’s inconspicuous tonight, wearing a roughspun coat and gray scarf. He left his cane at the Slat, which he sorely regrets now, but he knows it was for the best.

In the year since Inej left, a lot had changed. Kaz had risen to prominence in the Barrel. He’d opened two more gambling parlors and had plans for a third. The biggest change, however, was Roeder becoming his new spider. He’d done a good enough job, but compared to the intelligence Inej could gather, good enough didn’t really cut it. A couple months ago, Kaz had begun to seek out his own intelligence, and besides torture, no one talked more than a drunk man.

Kaz approached The Opdrin, a dirty but fairly reputable bar located between the central area of the Barrel and the Warehouse District. It was a popular spot for sailors and gang members alike. The drinks were good, not watered down like most bars in the Barrel, but the information Kaz could gather was better. He changed bars frequently, but The Opdrin was one of his favorites. Not to mention the walls were insulated, keeping the bar building warm. So despite the near emptiness of most other bars, The Opdrin had gathered a nice crowd and the cheerful buzz of conversation could be heard even before Kaz opened the door. He got a small table in the back corner, gloved hands wrapped around a cup of whiskey. He stretched his bad leg out in front of him and settled in for a night of gathering secrets.

An hour passed with little to show for it. The Blacktips and Razorgulls were planning a parley for the next night, and rumor had it that the Menagerie would only be able to support itself for another month. Kaz afforded himself a wicked smile at that.

People continued to come and go, but by midnight the crowd had begun to thin. Kaz was about to call it a night, when two burly men entered and took a seat at the bar, not far from Kaz’s table. Both seemed to be in good spirits and quickly ordered several drinks. The one with an old scar across his cheek from some long-ago brawl shucked his coat and his shirtsleeve raised, revealing a crown tattoo with a lion curled up inside. The Dime Lions. Now that Kaz had context, the man looked a little familiar. Sem, maybe, one of the dealers at the Kaelish Prince.

Neither of them were very high up in the gang from what Kaz could recall. Initially when Pekka Rollins had run off to the countryside, there had been a power vacuum and many of the older members had tried their luck running the gang. Each thought they could do better than the last and ended up wiping each other out. Only the Kaelish Prince remained as testament to Rollin’s empire, but even that was long past its glory days. The customers were few and far between, and Kaz doubted it would last through spring.

Nevertheless, Kaz’s ears perked at the possibility of learning what new low the Dime Lions had stooped to. It wasn’t long before the liquor took affect and the two men’s cheeks turned rosy as they loudly talked and laughed.

“We’re back on our way to the top, Markus.”

“The Dregs won’t know what hit ‘em,” Markus replied. Kaz leaned forward at the last comment, curious what the Dime Lions had in store. But if he’s learned anything from long nights eavesdropping, it was that patience always pays off.

“Hell, the Dregs won’t dare mess with us again once they learn what we’ve got. Van Eck said it was his biggest weakness. I’ll bet you 20 kruge Brekker will come personally, on his knees, begging once he hears. That’ll teach Dirtyhands a lesson,” Sem said with a chuckle.

Kaz set his jaw and sunk a little further back into the corner, trying to escape their notice. It was rare that Kaz heard news about himself.

Dirtyhands didn't have many weaknesses, none people knew anyway, and certainly none that would put him on his knees. Kaz is intrigued as to what these two Dime Lions thought might do the trick.

“After all the stories I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get her.”

“Musta gone soft out on the sea”

Kaz’s stomach tightened. Inej. They have Inej. There was a rushing in his ears and his vision tunneled on the two men at the bar. Before he even realized he was moving, he was out of his chair and making his way over to them.

He saw the recognition dawn on the men the moment they see his gloves, a step before he’s right in front of them. He didn’t really have a plan, just information he needs to get.

The two men were sluggish from their drink and he landed a solid right hook on Markus. Kaz felt a satisfying jolt as his fist connected with his jaw. Markus stumbled back, bringing a hand to his face. Kaz turned briefly towards Sem. He grabbed him around the back of the neck and slammed his face into the bar.

The bartender backed away nervously. The Opdrin was in a nice enough part of town that bar fights didn’t happen often. Kaz grimaced at the attention he’s drawing.

Sem was knocked out cold and crumpled to the floor blood gushing out of his, likely broken, nose. Kaz turned back to Markus, who threw a sloppy punch at him. Kaz dodged it easily and grabbed him by the collar with one hand, pinning him against the bar. He can smell the alcohol on Markus’s breath. With the other hand he flicked the oyster shucking knife out from his sleeve. It was one of the several knives he always kept on his person. A small and wicked looking blade, it glinted in the light. He vaguely registered the bartender slipping out the front, but didn't bother going after him.

“Where is she? Where are you keeping her?” Kaz asked, his voice like a knife on stone.

Markus, for all his bravado, spit in his face. Kaz wiped it off with the sleeve of his free hand, knife flashing again dangerously.

He made a quick, deep cut, mirroring the scar on Markus’s other cheek.

“I won’t ask again. Where is she?”

Blood ran down Markus’s face, staining his teeth red as he opened his mouth to speak.

“The Kaelish Prince. Top floor.” Markus grunted.

“Too bad you won’t get those 20 kruge.” Kaz replied. Another quick cut. This time across Markus’s throat. Kas turned away and limped toward the door, leaving Markus to bleed out. Given the sound of him choking on his own blood, it wouldn’t be long.

As he left The Opdrin, Kaz turned right. But before he even got 10 paces, he saw the purple uniforms of the staadwatch led by the bartender. He let out a curse under his breath.

With bloodied knuckles under his gloves, Kaz Brekker turned the other way, and like the monster he was, disappeared into the shadows. It was going to be a long night.

Wylan

Wylan had missed Nina more than he realized. She was in Ketterdam for a week with the Ravkan embassy, and Wylan had invited her over for dinner. Here she was, dressed in a bright red kefta, with her hair tied back in a long plait.

“Nina, it’s so good to see you,” he said finally, face breaking into to broad smile.

“Good to see you too, Wylan,” she replied, hugging him.

“You look good. It’s been too long,” Wylan commented as he led her into the dining room.

Marya was already seated at the head of the table. She has that far away look in her eye. It had gotten better since she’d come home, but despite the time, she was still not all the way back to herself.

“Mum, this is Nina,” Wylan said gently, not wanting to startle her.

Marya came back to herself.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nina. Wylan’s told me so much about you,” she replied, smiling softly.

“Only good things, I hope,” said Nina, shooting Wylan a conspiratorial smile.

Wylan took a seat next to Marya and Nina sat across from him.

“Jesper should be here soon. I don’t know what’s taking him so long,” Wylan said.

A moment later, he could hear Jesper’s lanky gait coming down the stairs, and tried to stifle a laugh as Jesper entered the room. Nina was far less successful and immediately let out a giggle. Even Marya has a broad smile on her face.

“Sorry I took so long. Let’s eat!” Jesper said, walking in cheerfully.

“Jesper, you’ve had a lot of… colorful outfits, but this one might be too much,” Nina said, still grinning.

Jesper over exaggerated a pouting expression as he takes a seat next to Wylan.

“Jes, she’s right. You look like a walking sunset.” Wylan said, finally bursting out laughing. He was wearing a red and yellow checked suit with an orange shirt and blue suspenders. Each color more vibrant than the last.

“Good thing everyone thinks sunsets are so romantic.” Jesper grinned. “I figured I should look nice for our company.”

“I’m so glad you chose this outfit just for me,” Nina replies.

Nina’s eyes sparkle when the chef brings out a heaping plate of waffles. Wylan had requested them as soon as he knew she was coming for dinner. They spent much of the night talking and laughing, reminiscing about their time in the Dregs. The hour grew late and the talk turned more quiet. To the boy with the blond hair who didn't make it through the job. Marya looks on sympathetically and thought that these kids are all too young to deal with such loss. Wylan pours the drink and Jesper makes the toast.

Marya goes to bed soon after, and the three of them go to the music room. Wylan plays a jaunty, dirty sea shanty. Jesper and Nina sing along much too loudly and terribly but not for lack of effort. The smiles soon return.

Just then, Wylan hears a loud knock. Marya appears in the doorway a moment later.

“Who would be calling at his hour? Is everything all right Wylan” Marya asks, brow wrinkling.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s fine. I’ll get the door, Mum. You go back to bed.”

Wylan approaches the foyer, startled to see the front door swung wide open. Kaz stood in the doorway, dressed in an uncharacteristic roughspun coat and noticeable absence of his crows head cane. His breath clouded in front of him and his eyes glinted something terrible in the light.

“You need better locks, merch. Is Jesper here?”

“Yeah. Nina too.”

“Good we need to talk.”

Wylan leads Kaz to the music room. It had been several months since Wylan had seen Kaz. He generally kept up with the Dregs activities through Jesper, who still visited the Slat about once a week, but since Wylan was a merch now, it didn't do well to be seen in that part of the Barrel.

“Kaz?” Nina asked as he and Wylan entered the music room. “What are you doing here,” her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“There’s a job I need your help with. It’s going to be messy and I can’t offer much in the way of reward.”

Wylan thought this seemed very out of character for Kaz, he never asked for help, not like this anyway. And Kaz never did something for nothing. Jesper beat him to the question.

“This isn’t like you. What’s going on Kaz?”

Kaz gives a one word reply, “Inej.”

“Whatever the job, I’m in. Inej has always had my back,” Nina replies immediately.

“I’m in too,” Wylan said.

Jesper nodded.

“Good,” Kaz says, looking around at the three of them. “Let’s figure out this job then.” He splayed his gloved hands on the closed piano as he looks at them.

Wylan, Jesper, and Nina share a look before chorusing, “Scheming face.”

“She’s being held on the top floor of the Kaelish Prince,” Kaz begins. Wylan shudders when he thinks of how Kaz got that information.

“The Dime Lions were hit hard when Rollins left for the country,” Kaz explains to Wylan and Nina. Wylan figured as much- Jesper hardly mentioned them anymore. Nina cocked her head at the news, though.

“I’ll have Annika and Pim keep watch on the place, we’ll plan to strike in two days time.”

“Two days? Why not sooner?” Jesper asks incredulously, Wylan can see the worry in his eyes. Jesper and Inej were together in the Dregs long before he joined, and Wylan knows how close they are.

“We need time to prepare, I’m not leaving anything to chance with this one,” Kaz said, eyes going dark. Not with Inej on the line is what he means, Wylan thinks. He wouldn’t either though, if it were Jesper. Saints forbid.

Wylan casts a glance over at Jesper sitting next to him. His eyes are dark, angry, and his attention is turned to Kaz, Wylan sees him reach to his hip, but he doesn’t wear his guns in the house; Marya doesn’t really like it. Jesper feels safe enough here that he doesn’t make too much of a fuss about it, but Wylan knows they’re a source of comfort for him.

“We’ll go in as two teams, one will break into the office. Make sure the Dime Lions know not to mess with the Dregs again. The other will come from the outside to the attic and get Inej. The second team should get in and out with as little fuss as possible. The sooner they realize she’s gone, the harder it’ll be to get away...”

He talks them through the plan slowly, taking their questions as they ask them. It’s nothing compared to the Ice Court job, but it’s important that they get this one right.

It’s late when they finish. The dark of the night is beginning to fade to the misty gray that precedes dawn. Nina has curled up on the small settee, and Wylan’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open. Kaz, however, looks the same as always.

“You’re welcome to sleep here if you need, Kaz,” Wylan offers softly.

Kaz’s eyes are dark as he looks at Wylan. “I’ve got things to do. I’ll come around later with more for the plan.”

He rises from his seat at the piano bench, and makes his way toward the door. At the threshold he hesitates for a moment. Wylan is sure he is going to turn around and say something, but Kaz just gives a small shake of his head and continues out. Wylan can hear is uneven footsteps echo down the hall, the opening and closing of the door, and then the silence that ensues.

“C’mon Jesper. Let’s go to bed,” he says, shaking Jesper’s shoulder gently.

Jesper makes a dramatic show of getting up, and Wylan follows his lanky frame to their bedroom down the hall.

Inej

Inej was better than this. She was the Wraith, feared across Ketterdam. She hunted slavers on the seas who were much more formidable. It had taken no less than twelve Dime Lions to take her down, and only because… because what? She had seen Tante Heleen and turned into a scared 14 year old again. Foolish, Inej chided herself.

She didn’t know where she was being kept or how long it had been. They had been smart enough to blindfold her tightly and chain her arms behind her. She could feel a thick coating of dust on the floor, and every once in a while a loud burst of conversation would come up through the floorboards. The slats of the floor creaked loudly when the guards were coming, giving her ample time to situate herself so it didn’t look like she was exploring the room, looking for a way out.

She wondered if her crew noticed she was gone already. Inej had given them the week off. This was a job she meant to do alone. She sent yet another prayer up to her saints for a way out of this.

It had begun two weeks ago. Inej had been hearing rumors about a huge slaver ship coming into the Ketterdam ports. The information had been fleeting and fragmented. She never knew who the captain was or what ship it was. She hadn’t even managed to glean what country it was coming from. She only got the date and berth number for the docks. Nevertheless, her interest had been piqued. She couldn’t pass up the opportunity; these peoples stories were all to similar to her own. She shuddered at the thought of them bought and sold like livestock to end up in the Menagerie or somewhere similar.

She had given the crew the week off to handle the job herself. It was foolish, but they were on land and this was her home turf. With her knives and her saints, she had been sure that she could take the ship.

The first tip off should have been the lack of staadwatch patrolling around the birth. There had been no one in sight as Inej had silently scaled down from the shipping containers. She had padded silently across docks, the breath clouding in front of her was the only indication there was someone there.

The upper deck had been empty, too. That made Inej’s stomach tighten and cast a furtive glance. She considered turning back, calling her crew, but her pride had gotten in the way. She had unsheathed Sankt Petyr and Sankta Lizabeta, and sent up a prayer to the rest of the saints before continuing into the hull of the ship.

There was a faint glow coming from a cracked door, twenty feet into the hallway. She heard several male voices talking quietly and crept forward. Two heavily armed men came out of the door just behind her. She whirled around, knives raised, as their boots marched loudly toward her. She threw Santa Lizabeta, knife lodging in his throat. The other one let out a shout a moment before she stabbed him.

Inej sent another prayer up to the saints for their lives, and grabbed Santa Lizabeta. When she reached down, she saw the Dime Lion tattoo inked onto the man’s forearm. She had walked to a trap.

Thoughts flew through Inej’s head as she turned to face the onslaught she knew was coming. She had heard from Kaz occasionally; they shared information as often as they could but not as often as either of them would have liked. Last she heard, though, the Dime Lions had been a joke, on the brink of collapse, running penny-poor cons on street corners. Was Rollins back? She doubted it, but Inej was sure he hated her enough to pull something like this.

She didn’t have much time to figure out who was behind this, however, before the first wave of Dime Lions was on her, all armed to the teeth.

Inej moved like the shadows, like an angel of death, slipping between the Dime Lions, so that more than one ended up with a knife in their back. But there were too many. She took a heavy punch across the face, and a brutal kick to the stomach.

She began backing up toward the stairs, bleeding from a cut on her arm. She turned her head quickly to see if there were more of them blocking her retreat and froze.

Tante Heleen’s hair shone golden in the setting sun, as she was silhouetted in the doorway. Inej felt the gentle rocking of the boat beneath her feet, and felt fourteen years old, again coming to Ketterdam for the first time.

The moment of hesitation cost her, and two muscled Dime Lions pinned her arms to her side and took her knives. She struggled against their grip, but to no avail. A sharp blow to the head, and the world around her went dark.

Kaz

Kaz acutely knew the limits of his body. The way his leg would ache when it got cold. How his heart seemed to skip whenever Inej entered the room. So it was no surprise that he knew exactly how his body reacted to twenty-four hours without sleep.

The irritability was familiar. Mornings after long nights on watch had taught the other Dregs to stay out of his way, but the restlessness was new. He was having trouble focusing on his work and sitting still for more than five minutes felt like some kind of tourture.

After he had left Wylan’s house, he’d gone to the Slat to have Annika and Pim stake out the Kaelish Prince. He knew he was the one who set the two day period, and he knew that logically it was the right choice, but when it came to the Wraith, he seemed incapable of being logical. The thought of her up in the attic made him want to put someone’s head through a wall.

Most of the Dregs had, luckily, caught onto his sour mood and done their best to avoid him, which wasn’t hard. He had practically locked himself in his office, and tried to keep himself busy and distracted with the work of running the Dregs.

Kaz knew he should sleep before the job; it didn’t do well to go in distracted and not at his best. But his mind wouldn’t slow down enough for him to even try to get some sleep. He’d stayed up for longer before, anyway.

It was late the night after he’d left Wylan’s when he heard a knock on his door. He’d been trying to balance the Slat’s books, for his investors, and was vexed someone had come to disturb him.

“Come in,” he called, and a moment later, Pim appeared in the doorway. Kaz relaxed ever so slightly.

“What business?” Kaz asked, once Pim shut the door behind him.

Pim hesitated for a moment, choosing his next words carefully.

“We don’t know how involved she is, but Tante Heleen has been coming and going from the Kaelish Prince pretty frequently.”

Kaz gripped the armrest of his chair tightly before flexing his fingers, palm open. It made sense, then, how they’d gotten Inej. She didn’t have many weaknesses, but Kaz knew her time in the Menagerie still haunted her.

“Anything else?” he asked, voice grating across stone.

“We estimate there are twenty to twenty-five gaurds, but we don’t have clear sightlines on the upper floors, so it could be more.”

“Let me know if you find anything else.” Kaz said, turning back to the books.

Pim hesitated for a moment before Kaz heard him close the door and his footsteps recede down the hallway.

Kaz tried to focus on the books, but he kept going over the plan again and again, working out the knots. He would have to go to Wylan’s tomorrow and fill the rest of the crew in. The balances he usually kept so straight in his head kept getting jumbled, and eventually he slammed the book shut and picked up his crows head cane from where it leaned against his desk.

He needed some air, and he was itching for a fight.

Inej

Inej knew the sea. During the year hunting slavers, it had lent her its secrets. The boy’s name repeating in her head, like a prayer to her saints, sounded like the ocean during a storm, like waves crashing against the rocks, threatening sailors with a cruel death. Kaz Brekker Kaz Brekker kazbrekkerkazbrekkerkazbrekker. It was foolish to think he’d come for her now. He didn't even know she was back in Ketterdam. But still she clung to hope, almost childishly. What was it he once said? That he would come for her, that he would crawl to her. She raised another prayer to her saints.

The chains around her wrists and ankles were heavy. She floated in and out of time; Inej had no idea how long she’d been in the dusty room. The guards rotations weren’t timed, as far as she could figure out, and there weren’t any windows or vents that she could find. Inej knew the basics of lockpicking, Kaz had taught her, but she had none of the picks she would need. She didn’t really know how she was going to get out of this one.

She heard two sets of footsteps coming up the creaking stairs, and positioned herself in a defensive crouch. She could take out the guards. If she was lucky one of them would have the key. If her hands and eyes were free, Inej was pretty sure she could get out even without her knives.

The door creaked open and the heavier set of footsteps approached her. When Inej estimated that he was just over her, she sprang up, slamming her head into what she hoped was his nose. She felt a sickening crunch, and the footsteps receded coupled with colorful swear. Without missing a beat, Inej sprang forward toward the second guard. She overshot to the right, and caught a whiff of cloying perfume as she passed- Tante Heleen’s perfume. Inej crashed into the wall, and spun around leg sweeping out to catch Tante Heleen off balance. She would not be the scared little girl anymore. She was the Wraith, the hunter of slavers, the best damn spider in the Barrel. She was unleashed. She was Inej Ghafa, and she would not be afraid.

Her leg caught Tante Heleen’s around the back of her knee, and she fell with a crash that made Inej smile. The crash was loud enough that it must have been heard by the other guards because a moment later she heard footsteps running up the stairs.

It sounded like the first one tripped over Tante Heleen, but three others had Inej pinned despite her struggling. She smelled Tante Heleen’s perfume as she leaned close to her ear.

“You and Brekker will pay for this, girl.” Inej heard her footsteps disappear down the stairs, but the smell of the too sweet perfume clung to her clothes and skin.

Inej’s faint smile vanished as her mind began to race. Did they have Kaz? Was he somewhere else in the building? She still didn’t know where she was being held. After her little stunt, she was sure they’d post more guards too. She sat back against the wall, and tried to figure out how to escape.

Jesper

Jesper had been buzzing with restless energy since Kaz had shown up and told them the news a day and a half ago. He’d worked hard to stay away from the tables, but the grandfather clock’s ticking sounded like the spin of Makker’s Wheel. The pull in his gut wanted him to go to the Barrel, and if not for Wylan’s distractions Jesper’s sure he’d be deep in debt again. And despite how hard Wylan was trying, the pull never seemed to go away completely.

When Jesper heard the knock at the front door, he practically leapt over the table to get it. He reached the door quickly, hearing Wylan’s more sedate footsteps still in the hallway. Jesper grabbed the brass knob and swung the door wide.

It was Kaz; he looked like a wolf. His eyes glinted in the light, his hair was mussed, and his eye was already beginning to bruise. He bared his teeth as he entered the foyer.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jesper asked, incredulous.

“Is Wylan here? Pim reported back and there’s a couple changes to the plan,” Kaz replied, shrugging Jesper off. Jesper knew better than to push Kaz, but watched the other boy carefully as they made their way into the house.

They gathered in the dining room this time. Jesper and Wylan facing Nina and Kaz. The table was silent, anticipatory.

Kaz began slowly, his voice like cold steel, as he explained the new information Pim and Annika had gathered. None of it was too big; they could easily change the plan around it. Concern had crossed both Wylan's and Nina's faces when Kaz had mentioned Tante Heleen's possible involvement. Honestly, Jesper was worried about it too. Inej had never shared those details with him, but nevertheless he knew her time at the Menagerie haunted her. But Jesper was confident in the plan nonetheless. Compared to the Ice Court job, it seemed almost too easy.

Nina and Wylan would go in first since Tante Heleen knew Kaz and Jesper too well. Nina would cause a distraction on the first floor to try and divert as many guards as possible and then prevent them from coming to the aid of the upstairs guards. While they were distracted, Wylan would sneak back into the office and retrieve Inej's knives- likely locked in the safe. Kaz also suggested he let the Dime Lions know not to mess with the Dregs again. Wylan had just smiled.

While that was happening on the ground floor, Kaz and Jesper would come into a private gambling den through the roof. It was already rented out under one of Kaz's aliases. In it, there was a latch in the ceiling which revealed a ladder. They would sneak up that way, dispatch the remaining guards, and getting Inej out with as little fuss as possible. They were all supposed to meet back at the Slat by eight that night.

The remaining materials were distributed, and the four of them prepared to leave the house in two hours. They would go in two shifts to avoid suspicion, but because they were so far from the Kaelish Prince, none of them thought it was too much of a risk.

Nina and Wylan re-entered the parlor, now dressed for the event. Nina was wearing a satin, green dress that made her look just as much a mercher as any one else on Geldstraat. Wylan was wearing more casual clothes, typical of those in the Barrel.

“You should be heading out soon or it'll be too late," Kaz said, giving them both a once over.

Nina nodded, worry furrowing her brow. "No mourners," she said as she pulled open the door.

"No funerals," Jesper and the others responded.

Before he gave his body the conscious thought, Jepser's hand was reaching out to grab Wylan's wrist. Wylan started and turned around, blue eyes locking on Jesper.

They had spent this past year in relative peace. Both had separated themselves from the Barrel as much as they could, and life on Geldstraat had been good. The big house had become Jesper’s home, and he couldn’t bare to lose Wylan. Not like this, on a return to the life that still haunted Jesper on the bad days and made him long for it on the good.

"Be careful out there, merchling," Jesper said, voice thick and dangerously close to cracking. "You still owe me a trip to Novyi Zem."

"You too, Jes." Wylan replied quietly, before shutting the door behind him.

Jesper and Kaz were left standing alone in the silent parlor. Maybe it was because he was thinking about his life with Wylan or maybe it was because there was an ache in his chest that he couldn’t seem to shake or maybe it was just sheer stupidity that caused Jesper to turn to Kaz and ask, “Do you ever think about getting out?”

Kaz gave him a cool sideways look, and Jesper was sure he wasn’t going to answer. But Kaz turned his eyes back toward the door, flexed the hand resting on his cane, and said, “Where would I go? What would I do? My whole life has been carving out a piece of this town for myself. Why would I want to give that up?”

Jesper could do little else but shrug in return.

“C’mon it’s time for us to leave anyway.”

They were both dressed in modest, and to Jesper’s dismay, muted clothes. Kaz with his cane, and Jesper had the two Zemini revolvers slung around his hips. He had no doubt Kaz had nothing short of an arsenal on his person.

The two of them made their way toward the Kaelish Prince, and soon enough the quiet, austere merch houses gave way to rickety, lopsided buildings and boisterous gambling dens. They avoided the staadwatch easily, only seeing one patrol. Two streets before the Kaelish Prince, Kaz led them down a small alley to the back entrance of a theater. He picked the lock in a matter of seconds. Two flights of stairs later, they were on the roof, with an easy path to the Kaelish Prince.

They perched on the gabled roof that would give them access to the window entrance they planned to use. Like in the Ice court, they were keeping on schedule with the clocktower near the Church of Barter. Nina and Wylan were supposed to be inside at 6, Kaz and Jesper would enter a quarter hour later.

Their breath clouded in front of them as they waited, both anxiously awaiting the chime of the clock. They had no way to communicate if things went sour, and Jesper was worried about Wylan. He snuck a glance over to Kaz, who looked unfazed, but after another second, Jesper noticed the tightness in his shoulders and the clench of his jaw. He had never known Kaz to appear anything less than cool and collected. This wasn’t a job they could afford to mess up.

Jesper rested a hand on his pearl-handled revolver as the clock struck ten past. He thought he heard a faint shout come from within, and hoped Nina was causing some kind of hell to the Dime Lions.

The five minutes seemed to move as slow as molasses, and Jesper’s restless energy was making it near impossible to sit still. After a short eternity, Kaz shifted and signalled to Jesper that it was time to go in. Jesper drew a deep breath and steadied his mind as Kaz unlocked the window.

Kaz

The locks on the Kaelish Prince were a joke; Kaz was almost insulted that they hadn’t even tried to keep him out.

He and Jesper slid into the empty gambling parlor. It hadn’t changed much since Rollins left. The gaudy green velvet still coated the walls and a gold filigree was on the crown molding. The circular table to play three man’s bramble was filled with chips, and Kaz considered lifting a couple as one more petty gesture against the Dime Lions. The yells from downstairs were louder here; Nina raising hell no doubt. Wylan should be wrecking the safe right around now, too.

It wasn’t hard to find the latch in the ceiling to pull down the ladder. Jesper easily reached the chord, and with a swift tug, the ladder dropped. It was rickety and disused and not entirely stable, but it’s a way up and that’s all they really need.

Jesper goes first, gun drawn, and Kaz follows closely behind, pistol in one hand, and the comforting weight of a knife up each sleeve. Jesper pauses at the top of the ladder, head cocked to the side, listening. They both waited with bated breath, but neither of them heard movement from above. After another agonizing moment, Jesper continued up.

They reach the landing and what appeared to be a small hallway. There was a faint smell of mildew and the old floorboards were covered in dust.

As soon as Jesper peered over the edge of the ladder, Kaz heard a loud shout, and the sounds of footsteps. Jesper ducked back down and began to swear under his breath.

“How many?” Kaz asked, already cocking his pistol. Jesper had his revolvers in each hand.

“One from the end of the hall, one coming out of a room, maybe more,” Jesper said. Kaz quickly maneuvered to stand next to Jesper on the ladder. It was cramped, but it meant they could fire all three guns.

Kaz gave a sharp nod, and he and Jesper ducked their heads above the floor. There were another two guards who were emerging from the room further room, bringing the total to five. Three quick shots and they dropped back down. Kaz heard one of the guards groaning in pain, and the footsteps coming toward them had stopped as the remaining guards took up defensive positions. A moment later, Jesper popped his head up again and got off two more shots.

“That’s all of them,” he said as he rejoined Kaz lower on the ladder. They climbed up into the attic, guns still drawn, as they surveyed the scene in front of them.

There was a door on the right about twenty feet in front of them and a second twenty feet beyond that. Nothing adorned the hallway, and it’s bareness was a shock after the gaudy gambling den they had just been in.

He’d been in this attic before, had wanted to map every inch of Rollins empire before he tore it down. Both rooms were functionally identical, a fair size with just the one door and no windows. The one closer to them had housed various clutter gathering dust; the other room held old furniture and trunks. Kaz wasn’t sure which room they would have been keeping Inej in, but the guards he had seen had emerged from farther down.

Jesper turned around to Kaz and gave a questioning look. Alright, Brekker. Make a choice. Kaz nodded silently toward the closer door, and they stepped over the bodies of the fallen guards. The two of them fell into the long ago pattern that had kept them alive through so many missions. Kaz stood to the right side of the door, Jesper next to him. He reached a gloved hand and grasped the brass handle, turning it ever so slowly. Kaz could hear Jesper drumming his fingers around the hilt of the gun, nervous energy too much to keep still.

Kaz gave another small nod as he flung open the door, moving with it so that his back pressed into the wood of the door. Jesper slid over and replaced Kaz on the right side. Both of them waited with bated breath. No sound was heard from inside. Slowly, Kaz peered around the doorframe. The room appeared empty. Kaz signalled to Jesper that he was going in, and Jesper quickly shifted to give him cover.

Kaz took a step into the room and looked around. The room was almost the same as it had been all those years ago. There were crates stacked along one wall and various clutter along another. Everything in the room was coated with a fine layer of dust. There was a disturbance in the dust near the door, and Kaz turned to tell Jesper just as someone moved from the entryway and swept his legs out. Kaz fell flat on his back, letting out a grunt as he hit the floor.

Jesper gave a shout while Kaz raised himself into a crouch. Finally seeing his attacker, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Inej?” he asked. She stood in front of him, hands chained behind her. Her clothes were ratty and torn, drops of what looked like blood stained one of the sleeves. She had a split lip and bruise blooming out from under her blindfold.

At the sound of his voice, she lowered her hands.

“Kaz?” she asked, suddenly looking unsteady on her feet. Jesper gave one last look toward the hallway and moved into the room.

“Jesper’s here too,” Kaz replied. Inej’s face broke into a small smile.

Jesper holstered his guns and undid her blindfold, and Kaz was shocked at how sunken her eyes were. Inej had always been small, but now he could see her collarbone protruding.

“Good to see you,” Jesper said, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“C’mon, with all those shots, I’m sure more Dime Lions are on the way. We don’t have all day,” Kaz said coldly.

“It’s nice to see you to, Kaz,” Inej replied. Kaz motioned for her to sit and produced his lockpick set from the depths of his coat.

Kaz knelt down next to Inej. The Dime Lions had certainly spared no expense on the lock securing her chains. It was a new Grendelen, notoriously tricky locks.

“Are you alright? Did they hurt you?” His eyes were dark and dangerous as he searched her face.

“I’m fine, Kaz,” Inej replied, but he noticed again how gaunt her eyes look and her usual knife sharp posture seems to waver. Her hair was falling out of her usual braid; it hung limp around her shoulders.

Jesper knelt down on Inej’s other side, hands nervously fluttering over the chains.

He’s trying to break them, Kaz thought. He hadn’t realized Jesper had spent so much time practicing to be a fabrikator. A small black cloud slowly formed between Jesper’s hands. Sweat beaded along his forehead, and he didn’t look up from the chain.

Inej’s eyes sparked. “Kaz,” she said softly, then again more urgently.

The next seconds seemed to pass in slow motion. Inej, still in chains, pushed him and he fell to the side, pain radiating up his bad leg. Then he heard the echo of the gunshot around the room.

Kaz turned his head to see where the sound came from. One of the Dime Lions had rolled over and gotten off a shot.

He turned his head back to see blood blooming from Inej’s abdomen, her face radiating pain.

Jesper pushed his hands forward and the cloud of metal shavings buried its way into the Dime Lion’s skin, rivulets of blood pouring from a thousand tiny cuts. He screamed and dropped the gun. Faster than Kaz thought possible, Jesper’s pulled out one of his revolvers and pulled the trigger. The bullet pierced the Dime Lions skull and the screaming stopped.

Inej’s laying with one arm pinned underneath her. Jesper pulls her up and she sways where she’s sitting.

Kaz managed finally to pick to lock, and the shackles on her wrists falling to the floor with a clang.

“Let me see it,” he said. He knows it’s bad because she doesn’t say anything in response, just shifts her body to face him.

He does his best to keep him face calm, but Jesper sucks in a short breath at the blood drenching Inej’s shirt.

Kaz quickly removes his jacket and using his ever present oyster knife, cuts the bottom into thin strips for bandages. It’s not the right material at all, but it’ll have to do until they can get back to the Slat. Kaz lets out a string of curses as the knife cuts the pad of his thumb. He’s being clumsy and careless and he knows it. There’s a feeling of pressure behind his eyes and his stomach is tying itself in knots. He hopes Inej is out of it enough not to notice. He should have checked the guards before the went in the room. It was foolish, and now his carelessness was going to get Inej killed.

He sneaks a quick glance at her, and her eyes look glassy and distant. Jesper’s secured the bandages around her abdomen well enough and they’ve got no other choice than to try and make it to the Slat.

“Jesper, run ahead and tell Nina. Get her to prepare whatever she’s got.” Kaz never got a new Grisha healer after Nina. It fell toward the bottom of his ever growing list of tasks, and now he’s kicking himself for not getting to it sooner.

“Kaz, she cant-”

“Just get her, Jesper.”

Kaz sees her eyes start to close, “Stay with me, Inej. C’mon, love, you were supposed to survive this city. Keep your damn eyes open.”

He picks her up, wincing at the feel of her in his arms. He flashes back suddenly to that night on the docks before the ice court job when he had to carry her to the schooner. He damn near sends a prayer up to her blasted saints for her to be as lucky as last time.

He doesn’t even turn to see if Jesper is following him as exits the room. He makes his way toward the ladder, and by some miracle manages to get them both down. He slips out the window, and makes his way across the rooftops. His leg is screaming and every uneven step, and it makes Inej bounce painfully in his arms. They’re not too far from the Slat. He just needs to get her home.

“C’mon Inej, talk to me. Tell me about the Wraith.” It’s the first thing he can think of to ask her.

Her eyes are distant and glassy, looking past his right shoulder. Her brow furrows as she processes the question and tries to formulate an answer.

“There’re so many,” she replies. Her words are slow and slurred. They’re still a couple of blocks from the Slat, and at the rate she’s losing blood, he’s worried she’s not going to make it.

Finally the familiar gabled roof comes into view. Kaz doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful to see it. He slides in through his bedroom window.

He never let anyone else take her rooms, even when they were running short on space. He never quite knew why, but the idea of someone else living in a place that was so her was wrong. He hadn’t been in the room since she left, and everything was exactly where it was.

His leg feels like it’s going to give out as he enters his room. There’s a pile of papers on desk he’s been meaning to get to and his bed is unmade- it’s not like he’s slept in it the past couple days anyway. He moves through the room quickly and braces himself for the walk down the flight of stairs.

Nina

Nina has no idea what the hell Brekker expects her to do.

Her and Wylan’s part of the plot had gone off as smoothly as could have been hoped for. They’d just made it back to the Slat fifteen or so minutes before a very panicked Jesper burst in and told Nina that she needed to gather any medical supplies she had and get up to Inej’s room.

She felt useless; Nina had never tried to heal anyone without her powers before. “Does Kaz have anyone else who’s more qualified?” she asked Jesper, exasperated.

Jesper held up his hands in surrender, “I’m just passing along the message.”

Nina closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Alright, what exactly am I dealing with?”

Jesper explained what happened as she gathered the supplies she thought she might need. She sent Wylan out to get some extra things they didn’t have around the Slat, and Jesper was busy heating more water as she made her way up to Inej’s room.

Nina anxiously paced the floor as she waited for Kaz to arrive. If she hadn’t taken parem, she could help Inej now. Or we’d all be dead in a Fjerdian prison she reminded herself. Still, Nina cast out her mind, searching for the feel of bodies in the Slat, the rush of blood, the beating of hearts. And felt… nothing.

She heard footsteps above her, and cast a quick glance toward the ceiling. Kaz must be back. She glanced around the room again, inventorying everything they had. She cleaned off Inej’s desk to use as a makeshift table. Bandages, water, a suturing kit. They didn’t have much in the way of pain meds; hopefully Inej would be out for most of it.

She can hear Kaz on the stairs and a moment later, he appeared in the doorway. He’s a wreck. His hair’s all mussed and his eyes glint with something terrible. Completing the scene, he’s drenched in, what Nina assumes is, Inej’s blood.

Inej looks worse than she expected. Her face is pale and her eyes are sunken. Her whole shirtfront is stained red, and Nina can smell the coppery stench from several feet away. Inej’s hair has come loose of her braid and hangs limply over Kaz’s arm.

Nina gestures to the desk. Kaz lays her down gently and takes a step back. Nina moves toward Inej.

“Did the bullet go all the way through?” Nina asks, trying to be as methodical as possible.

“Yeah, there’s an exit wound. I checked.”

“Good,” is Nina’s short reply.

Just then, Jesper enters the room, carrying a large bowl, steam curling off the surface of the water.

“Thanks, Jesper. You can put it down on there,” Nina says, gesturing to the wooden chair that usually accompanies the desk. It’s now full of bandages and medical supplies. Jesper sets down the bowl and looks around awkwardly.

“I don’t think I need anything else, but I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Jesper nods, uncharacteristically quiet, before leaving the room.

“You should go too, Kaz,” Nina says over her shoulder, already cutting off the makeshift bandages.

“I’m not leaving,” comes the reply.

“At least change your shirt. You reek and there’s nothing you can do now,” Nina says, giving him an up and down appraisal.

Kaz looks like he’s going to protest further, but he looks at Inej and storms out of the room and up the stairs.

Nina lets out a sigh; she’s so far beyond her comfort zone, but she’s got to keep it together and help her best friend. You’ve got this, Zenik.

The last of the makeshift bandages come off, and Nina almost loses her nerve again. The wound’s bad and still leaking blood. Inej’s is going to need a fair amount of stitches. Nina gets to work.

Kaz comes down fifteen minutes later and takes a seat on the bed. He’s changed into a clean shirt and props his cane next to him. Nina’s still bent over Inej, and Kaz doesn’t say anything. They stay like that for two hours. Kaz only leaves once to get her more water.

After what feels like an eternity later, Nina steps back from the table, and Kaz looks up at her.

“I’ve done everything I can, all she needs now is time.” A sudden feeling of exhaustion comes over Nina, and she sits down next to Kaz on the bed.

The world outside had long grown dark, and Nina could hear the loud cries of Barrel floating through the window. She should stay up and make sure nothing changed with Inej, but her eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds.

Kaz stood up and grabbed the chair by the table, now- mostly- free of medical supplies.

“I’ll wake you if anything changes,” he said.

“I only need five minutes,” Nina said, but she could already feel her eyelids closing. She fell asleep almost immediately.

When Nina awoke, the faint light of dawn was coming through the window. For a moment, she forgot where she was. She glanced around the room, eyes falling on Inej and Kaz. Inej’s chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, which was a good sign. Kaz, on the other hand, looked like he hadn’t slept all night. He looked disheveled and, Nina thought, exhausted.

“She’s been the same all night,” Kaz said when he noticed Nina getting out of bed.

“You could’ve woken me up, you know.”

Kaz only shrugged a response and turned back toward Inej.

Inej

Inej was back on the Ketterdam docks and before her stood the ship she had been hunting for weeks. The docks were empty and eerily quiet. There were no dock workers shouting out shipment numbers or even the faint noises of the distant Barrel. Inej was alone.

She sent up a prayer to her saints, and carefully boarded the ship. There was no one on the deck, so she cautiously made her way down belowdecks. Her knives were drawn; their familiar weight keeping her grounded. The stairs seemed to squeak impossibly loud as she descended. There was no one in the hall, but she thought she heard voices from a room farther down. Shadows seemed eerily dark as she continued into the hull of the ship.

Some far away piece of her mind knew this was wrong. That she’d been here before but everything had been different. Inej wracked her brain trying to remember. But the voices down the hall beckoned her, and she soon forgot her momentary deja vu.

Inej listened at the doorway, but couldn’t make out more than indistinct voices. Cautiously, she dared to open the door. Inside she found her friends in chains. Their faces were bruised and bloody.

Inej ran into the room, dropping her knives. They clattered impossibly loud on the deck. She knelt by Kaz first. He didn’t react- just sat staring straight ahead. Her hands fumbled over the chains, eventually finding the lock. It was complicated. Nothing she could ever hope to pick.

“Kaz, you need to help me. I need you to tell me how to pick the lock,” she said, her voice urgent. Kaz’s eyes slid to hers, and recognition dawned on his face.

“Kaz, how do I pick the locks?” Inej asked again.

His eyes flicked past her shoulder, and grew wide. Inej tried to turn to see what he was looking at, but two pairs of strong, rough hands grabbed her biceps and hauled her to her feet.

Inej tried to fight against them, struggling even as pain bloomed across her abdomen. Tears were running down her face, but she couldn’t break their grip. She looked back towards Kaz.

“Inej,” he was screaming.

The two men carried her out into the hallway. She could still here Kaz’s muffled screams.

Nina

Nina woke with a start. She had gotten used to sleeping in Inej’s room. She and Kaz had been taking shifts watching Inej while the other slept. Inej had woken up once, briefly yesterday and managed to eat something, but for the most part she was still pretty out of it. Things had been pretty quiet, but Inej seemed to be improving. Nina untangled herself from the makeshift nest of blankets and pillows she had made on the ground at the foot of Inej’s bed.

“Inej! Inej you need to wake up.” Kaz was leaning over her bed, and Nina could see Inej thrashing under the blankets.

Nina sees Kaz reach out a hand and hesitate, fingers inches from her skin. He’s so still, he could be a figure in a painting. He draws a deep breath, clenches his jaw, and makes contact with her upper arm.

“Inej,” he repeats, his voice growing louder. Nina’s not sure what to do, she sits frozen in the blankets.

“No, stop. Let me go,” Inej protests and Kaz immediately retracts his hand. Her breathing comes in short, panicked gasps.

“C’mon Inej. I need you to wake up. It’s not real; you’re just dreaming,” Kaz says to no avail. Nina’s never seen this side of Kaz before. Maybe she’s mistaken, but he almost looks concerned.

Nina finally finds herself able to stand and moves over to stand next to Kaz. He gives her a look as she takes her place next to him. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying, words just begin to tumble out of her mouth. She tries to keep her voice calm and steady even when she sees spots of blood appear where Inej had ripped her stitches.

It feels like hours, but about ten minutes later, Inej begins to settle and drift back off into a deep sleep. As soon as Kaz sees that she’s okay, he storms out of the room to saints know where. Nina gets her suture kit and prepares to fix the stitches Inej ripped.

Nina’s just about to fall back asleep when she hears the door bang open and Kaz storm in. His shirt is drenched in red and there’s blood spatter across his face and neck. His eye looks red and swollen like it’s going to bruise. He’s also favoring his bad leg.

“Where the hell have you been? And whose blood is that?” Nina demanded, voice a harsh whisper.

“This city’s price is blood Nina, and they had to pay,” he replied. “Has anything happened?” he asks after a brief pause.

“No, I had to give her three more stitches, but other than that she’s fine.”

Kaz nods and looks over at Inej before leaving. Nina hears the stairs above her creak as he makes his way up to his room.

Kaz

Kaz doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep again. His blood’s still boiling from the fight. He hadn’t seen Inej that bad in years. When she first joined the Dregs, the Menagerie still haunted her, more than now. Neither of them ever acknowledged the nightmares, but on particularly bad nights he would go down and wake her up.

He washes the blood off his face and changes his shirt. Hands gripping the sides of the wash basin as he tries to settle himself. His chest has felt tight and coiled since he carried Inej back to the Slat three days ago. He’s slept maybe five hours total; he’s worried his body is just going to give out on him.

He manages to steady himself enough to make the trip down the stairs. His bad leg is screaming with every step. He collapses into Inej’s desk chair. Nina’s already asleep, buried in blankets.

From the chair he can see the steady rise and fall of Inej’s chest. There’s a little blood on the sheets, but her face looks calm, peaceful. So unlike an hour ago. Kaz tells himself that he’s going to stay awake, but at some point he’s lulled into a deep sleep.

He wakes up to the sound of crows cawing at the window. The crows left months ago. He never bothered to feed them once Inej left, and the sound is enough for him to force his eyes open. Sunlight is streaming in through the window and there is indeed a couple of crows perched on the windowsill.

More shocking however is Inej also perched at the window. She’s feeding the crows, hair redone in it’s neat braid, and her head tilted back, surveying the city. A soft smile plays on her lips as the crows continue to peck at whatever food she’s laid out for them. His chest uncoils and he finally feels like he can breathe again.

“You’re up,” he says, shifting in the chair.

Inej turns her head to look at him, braid falling over her shoulder as she does.

“Nina said we should let you sleep.”

“Where is she,” Kaz asked, noticing her absence.

“I think she went back to Wylan’s to get a change of clothes,” Inej says with a shrug.

They sit in silence for several moments. The crows and calls of the Barrel in the morning filling the gaps.

Inej eventually breaks the quiet. “Thank you,” she said eyes locking with his. “I am glad you came.”

“I told you I would come for you. Knives drawn, pistols blazing.”

Inej opens her mouth to say something as Nina burst in the door.

“I hope your hungry, Inej. I come bearing the finest waffles in all of Ketterdam,” she said.

Inej throws back her head and laughs. It sounds like liquid sunshine. Nina saunters into the room, bearing the plate of waffles proudly, big smile on her face. Kaz lets a small smile cross his face. It seems like it’s all going to be okay.

#soc #six of crows #grishabigbang #gvbbfic #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa

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strawbewiminki · 4 years

Text

Roommates for life

Characters: Mingi x Y/N

Support: Yeoju x Yunho

Word Count: 2,226

A/N: Short story,, please show some love. dont’t mind the picture above, i can’t see blue haired Yunho together with Mingi.

Chapter 1

“Y/N, have you seen that guy? That tall guy with bluish hair?” – Yeoju, my best friend, asked with a wide smile on her face

“What? Who?” I asked, I was busy looking for my pen. We were in line at registration office for 2nd year curriculum.

“That guy” He pointed at the guy who looks like an idol, tall, with white complexion and yes has bluish hair. Yeoju’s eyes are sparkling.

“Oh, I don’t know him, do you know him?” looking at him while he was walking towards the guy that I’ve been liking for the past year. Song Mingi, my blockmate never in my life that I talked to him, he looks intimidating because of his eyes but he’s a soft boi I know it deep in my heart.

“Yes, I know him, he is Jeong Yunho my future boyfriend, he’s bestfriend is your boyfriend in the making” Yeoju smirked and laughed carelessly which resulted that those guys been looking at us.

“Yah! Yeoju-ah, keep your tone down, look! Those guys looking are at us whispering” as I whispered to Yeoju, Mingi’s been looking at me like I’ve killed a person.

It’s our turn to register to the registration office, we are in window 1 and Mingi and Yunho are in Window 2.

“Miss Y/N, please write your details here, give it back to me asap” Ms. Registration In charge

“Okay, Miss. Thank you” I am urgently looking for my pen, because the line is getting longer, Yeoju keep on poking me and handed me a pen when I was about to say something, someone spoke:

“Just give it back to me at class” OMG??? Is that M-m-mingi?!! I was dumbfounded and so is Yeoju, we look like someone stolen something from us,, yes our hearts. Just when I was about to say something they walked away and Yunho, smiled at Yeoju.

Yeoju keep screaming “Y/N! Y/N! Did you saw that? Yunho, oh my god, Yunho smiled at me!!! Today’s going to be a great day!” Yes, it was going to be a great day. I am keeping myself to scream, I’m so happy, that I wanted to call my eomma.

We were on our way to our classes, take note we we’re smiling from ear to ear, Yeoju’s been jumping and greeting everyone a good morning even though she doesn’t know them. We were looking for our class, new semester, new subjects and new classmates. I am wondering if Mingi and I will be blockmates again. I stopped walking when I realized something.

“Y/N why did you stopped, are you hungry? Yeoju asked.

“I just realized, Yeoju-yah do you think Mingi recognized me?”

“OMO, he recognized you for sure! Your future boyfriend finally notices you” I’m so happy I wanna cry.

“Yeoju-yah, please hold me, my legs are shaking” She holds me as we arrived to our designated room.

We find a seat near the exit, there’s two vacant seats next to us so we put our bags there so we could sit comfortably, we were writing our details for a subject requirements when someone talked to Yeoju.

“Hi, is this seat’s taken?” some guy spoke to Yeoju

“Uhmm no, you can have it.” Without looking at them, Yeoju continued to write.

“Yeoju, please lend me your red pen, I forgot to brought my pencil case” someone sit beside me.

“Yeoju, why’d you change your seats, go back to your sit?” no response

“Yeoju-yahhhh” then I look to my left side

seat --> I - I YJ I Me I - I exit door I

“Yeo—Mingi-ssi???!!!!” I was so shocked, I looked to my right, and Yeoju is busy talking to Yunho. That bitch!!!!

“Uhhmm, Hi. Sorry. I didn’t notice you, I thought it was Yeoju” I was nervous. My heart’s about to escape.

“No problem.” Mingi answered.

“Okay class, I’m professor Kang, this is your first day right? Since you barely know your seatmates take a good look on their beautiful faces, because you’ll be seating with them the entire sem” W-WHAT??? IS THIS FOR REALS???

“What?” classmate#1

“Awwwww” classmate#2

“Okay” classmate#3

Then here’s Yeoju’s response “Thank you, Professor. I love you!”

The prof chuckled and answered “Looks like you liked where you sit, huh?�� he asked to Yeoju.

Yeoju just realized the situation then look at Yunho’s reaction, when he saw Yunho’s smiling, she began to smile from ear to ear.

“Yeoju, you really are thicked-face, I can’t believe you.” Yeoju just smiled. A smile that will haunt your dreams at night.

“Well, that’s how love works, you know” she points to Mingi using his lips, and I turned to my left to see what he was doing. When I turned, I saw his face so close to mine. Is he looking at me this close?

Mingi spoke, breaking the ice “Uhm, s-sorry. I was just asking for my pen. If you’re already done using it”

“Ah ah-yes, thank you for lending it to me earlier” I was nervous to death and shy at the same time.

Professor spoke “Students, have you already know your seatmates’ name? Your seatmate will be your group partner for weekly activity, and you’ll be forming groups by four, you decide who will be your group mates. This subject is knowing yourself, so be prepared”

Yunho spoke “So I guess, the four of us will be group mates?” Yeoju, smiled as expected.

“Yes, I guess so. Is it okay to you Mingi-ssi and Y/N?” Yeoju asked

“Uhmm, I’m okay with it” I answered.

“I’m good with it” Mingi answered, too.

“Great, can we exchange numbers for future purposes?” Yeoju asked. WHAT A THICKED FACE (WHAT A NICE FRIEND)

“Here’s mine Yeoju-ssi 010-1683-xxxx” Yunho willingly gave his number.

“How about you Mingi-ssi?” Yeoju asked enthusiastically. WHO WOULDN”T BE HE HAS HIS CRUSH’S NUMBER???? She looks like she could conquer every problems that will come to her way.

“Here 010-1684-xxxx” Mingi answered, Yeoju saved their numbers to her phone. I pretended that I didn’t see Mingi’s number so I just shrugged.

“Y/N aren’t you going to save their numbers?” Yeoju asked innocently.

“Ahh, I will. Wait let me take my phone” I start to copy Yunho and Mingi’s number and when I finished saving them, Mingi spoke.

“Call me.” Mingi said. I was dumbfounded, so as Yunho and Yeoju.

“Huh? Pardon?” o.O

“Call me now, so I could save your number” IS THE GATE OF HEAVENS OPENING?

“Uhhm—okay” what was that???

**dialing Seatmate Mingi-ssi**

Mingi peeked at my phone “Seatmate Mingi-ssi?”

“Huh?” confused me

“I got your number Y/N-ssi” Mingi answered.

I am dumbfounded, my soul has left my body. Yeoju has been poking my cheeks. I AM HAPPY!!!!!

“Sir, can you please explain how we can decide to group ourselves into two?” some girl at class spoke

“tf isn’t that’s too easy?” - Yeoju mumbled, but duh she is right. It’s easy.

“For example….” Prof looking at us

“You, Mr. Tall boy sitting next to exit, please stand up” prof asked Mingi to stand up. So Mingi, stood up.

“Who do you think your partner is?” Prof asked. So we are looking at him. God, my neck is aching this boy sure is tall.

“This girl, Y/N-ssi” points at me

“Miss Y/N-ssi please stand up, why do you think Mingi-ssi picked you as his partner?” my confused self, answered.

“Because Mingi like her” Yunho whispered to Yeoju, those two scumbag laughed like I didn’t heard anything

“Because I sat beside him?” I answered

“Yes, you are right. You two may seat down” Prof answered. Before he proceed to explain our groupings. He said something that made Yeoju scream like a murderer.

“By the way Ms.Y/N and Mr. Mingi, you sure don’t know each other? You look so good together.” Professor smiled.

“Yass!!!!” Yeoju screamed, Yunho laugh like there’s no tomorrow. Me and Mingi? WE ARE SHOCKED WE CAN’T LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

“Okay that’s it for today, guys. See you next class”

“Bye, Sir Kang” We bid our good bye to our prof.

“Bye, Y/N and Yeoju-yah. See you next class” Yunho said. This guy is so good looking.

“Annyeong, Yunho-yah. See you! Bye bye Mingi-ssi” Yeoju said, this girl sure is a flirt. Lol I also bid my good bye to Yunho-ssi..and Mingi

“See you next class, Mingi-ssi. Thank you again for lending me your pen”

“No problem, see you too, Y/N-ssi. Yunho-yah let’s go, stop flirting.” Yunho was startled and stopped talking to Yeoju. Wow they are that close already?

“Y/N, aren’t we so lucky today? Our crushes talked to us, is our classmates, our seatmates and most importantly we have their numbers. Aren’t we God’s favorite child?” YES GOD REALLY LOVES US FOR BLESSING US TODAY!!!

“Yes Yeoju-yah! I’ve been keeping myself from screaming. I am so happy, Mingi-ah my long time crush finally notices me.” I wanna cry.

“Girl, are you crying?” Yeoju asked while we are walking outside campus

“Huh? No. Btw, Yeoju what was that earlier?”

“What did I do?” Yeoju asked

“You yelled ‘Yass’ what were you thinking, are you insane?” Yeoju burst out laughing, her water spilled because of her demonic smile

“What? I’m just happy that our Prof has good eyes for seeing the best couple next to Yun-Ju” Yeoju proudly announce their love team.

“Whatever, Mingi-ssi doesn’t like me, so quit it. Let’s go pack our things; we have to find room to rent.” Yeoju fought with our landlord because one of her son flirted with her and when she rejected him he got mad, then he tell his mother crazy things that we are bringing boys to our dorm so we got kicked out. DUH how is that even possible??

So while walking, we saw an advertisement posted on the bus shed.

“Yeoju-yah look, someone is looking for Roommates. Wanted 2 Roommates, preferably studying at Now University please call 010-1685-xxxx for more inquiries” wow this is amazing, God is really great, his blessings are coming to us non-stop.

“Call them now, we need to found a place as soon as possible, and I hope that room is affordable too”

“Okay, I’m going to call them now”

**dialing 010-1685-xxxx*

*ring ring*

*finally picks up*

*woman answered*

“Hi, good afternoon. We saw your advertisement regarding the room for rent, is it still available?”

“Hi yes, it is still available, are you studying at N.U?” ahjumma asked

“Yes, we are 2nd year college students” I answered, I heard ahjumma chuckled. Did she say “thank goodness?”

“Okay, I’ll text you the address. I’ll expect you anytime soon. Thank you”

“Yes, thank you too.” Ends call.

“Yeoju, ahjumma texted the address let’s go there now.”

“Okay. Gajaaaa!” Yeoju-yah exclaimed she sure is happy.

*clicks doorbell*

*woman with primitive eyes opened the door*

“Annyeong, are you the lady who called earlier?” ahjumma asked, she is beautiful, she remind me of someone. She looked at me shocked for a second.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N, 2nd year college from Now University”

“Hi imu, my name’s Yeoju, Kim Yeoju.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Song Hae Won, I’m the owner, but the room isn’t here, it resides near your school. I just wanted to meet you both, well, when do you want to move there?”

“ASAP, imu” Yeoju answered.

Ahjumma chuckled “Okay, here’s the key. You can move today or tomorrow I’ll just inform my two tenants there, don’t worry those 2 are good people.” This imu is so good; imagine she already gave the keys without talking about the payment first. And take note, she said we can pay her by the end of the semester.

“Thank you so much, imu. We’ll visit you some time.” Yeoju said

“Thank you ahjumma, you are so kind, can you please adopt us?” Ahjumma laughs, swear she resemble someone I know, I just can’t remember who.

“Y/N and Yeoju-yah can you please call me, eomma or imu, I’ve always wanted to have a daughter.” Imu said.

“Yes, we can Haewon eomma!” Yeoju and I shouted.

After talking with each other and eating some cookies Haewon eomma baked, we headed to our old dorm to get our stuff so we could move in with the new house.

After packing we decided to move out of that hell of a room, and it’s already 8pm we need to hurry up so we wouldn’t disturb our roommates when we get there. We’re very excited.

“Yeoju, don’t you think Haewon eomma resembles someone?” I asked because I can’t move on, my mind’s keep thinking who it was

“Y/N, yah I know, I just can’t say his name” yeoju-yah answered,, we kept thinking until we realized that we arrived at the house.

Yeoju ring the doorbell when I screamed.

“Yeoju-ah! I know who resembles eomma!” the door slowly opens

“It’s Mingi-ssi!” Yeoju shouted, she is facing the door while I was facing at her sidewards.

“Yes! Haewon eomma, resembles Mingi-ssi” I happily shouted because they really resembles each other

“No, Y/N. It’s Mingi, look” Yeoju points at the man who opened the door.

“What are you talking abou----? WHATTTT?!” MINGI IS THE ONE WHO OPENED THE GODDAMN DOOR

Mingi is our roommate? Someone slap me hard please. Is this real???

To be continued...

#ateez #ateez imagine #ateez mingi #ateez yunho #ateez atiny #ateez yeosang #ateez hongjoong #ateez san #ateez wooyoung #ateez seonghwa #ateez jongho #kim yeoju #ateez reader #ateez story

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

#survey #surveys

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years

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for all y’all who are at uni/college or going to start uni/college at some point in the next year, my main pieces of advice to have a more enjoyable time than i did in undergrad are in this post. read away friends.

(poa 1) EVENTS: go to all of the campus events that you can (not just career ones) and spend money on some campus food instead of skipping both of these things on purpose as a strict way to save money. bc i did this in my second year of undergrad and it leaves you feeling super fucking lonely and shit. i didn’t eat nice food bc it was “too expensive”. i avoided events in case the whole event or part of the event cost money. really not fun. basically i avoided all socialisation by holing up in the library in the quiet study floor until my next class. it’s really alienating and worse than being lonely.

(poa 2) SOCIAL PLACES AND MAKING FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF CLASS: even if you’re alone, go to the campus bar at least once a sem to have one drink (unless you’re driving of course) and see if you make friends at the bar. bc i went to the bar a grand total of twice while i was in undergrad bc i didn’t trust myself to drink safely bc i was always alone on my days at uni. trust yourself more, i guess, is the message here. mainly i avoided the bar too bc i got so drunk at a philosophy wine & cheese night in first year, that a norwegian dude in his late 20s at the time had to escort me out so that i didn’t embarrass myself any further and also so that i didn’t do anything dangerous. like i was like 18/19, but i’d drunk an equivalent of a bottle of wine (like 8 glasses i suppose) in like an hour bc i didn’t know when to stop drinking and when to start eating while i was drunk. so i just got really fucking wasted by accident mostly. everyone at the that w&c night had to constantly ask me if i was driving home or not bc i was that drunk. it was BAD lmao. the main life hack here is to learn your alcohol limit and learn how to drink responsibly EARLY so that a whole party of people don’t have to follow you around and don’t have to baby you the whole time that you’re drinking lmao. on the whole, stay safe with alcohol kids.

avoiding the bar bc of the story above etc made uni so much fucking worse. bc by avoiding all the social events and social places to meet people by camping out in the library with my food from home and avoiding anything that cost money on campus (besides a coffee/coffee milk drink thing that i liked buying. and also transport costs for a while)... i didn’t make ANY longlasting friends. like i left undergrad uni with literally zilch friends when everyone else still has a group of friends that they talk to now that they’ve graduated.

(poa 3) TALKING TO PEOPLE IN CLASS: don’t be afraid to talk to people in your classes. bc i avoided talking to people until they talked to me; but it always ended up that no one would talk to me anyway. (bar maybe my friends who ended up in the same classes as me by chance or one to two people who were in all of my/most of my classes throughout uni)... so it was really fucking lonely. also i didn’t bother dating either so maybe that was a mistake hahahaha 😂.

finally, you know who some of the nicest people actually are???? mature aged students. don’t discount/ignore them bc they have a tendency to ask annoyingly detailed questions or keep the class for longer sometimes or debate the lecturer/tutor. i made more friends with mature aged students in their like late 20s/early 30s to maybe early 50s or whatever; than i ever did with the prententious dudes in my actual fucking age bracket (18-24).

bc for some reason the guys in my age bracket irritated me the most and i always felt that they didn’t really want to talk to me anyway, and i didn’t want to talk to them either anyway hahaha. but the mature aged students didn’t get on my nerves as much i suppose, bc they had more important things to worry about than splendour in the grass’s lineup or other music festival lineups and/or their contiki holidays that i couldn’t afford to even think about going to or on. idk it was weird. but maybe that’s just because men in arts degrees who are in my age bracket are the fucking worst lmao. but anyway.

so yeah these are my pieces of advice for uni y’all. have fun.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #uni #uni life #ilona whines about shitty life to her followes lol #ilona tries to give advice #splendour in the grass is essentially australias coachella i think #for people wondering what it is #its super overrated tbh

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nirajsham · 5 years

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Backlink Building I 'm the most amount of links, but getting some is helpful. And without any links, it just takes that much longer to get ranking. But there is no solution without building links, right. And there is everyone. I'm Niraj JH. And today I'm going to teach you how to build links without actually building links. Before we get started, make sure you subscribe and like. That way, when I release more posts like this, you'll get notified. If you haven't, it's a version of sem rush was all for free. Now, if you look at it, the tool that has built thousands and thousands of links is actually still 10s of thousands of links. And you're probably wondering, hey, how is this possible? It's because they gave something away for free. That 's a value and in other words, I disrupted the market now with universities. Backlink Building I spend a lot of time on it. And you're probably like, I can't end up doing this. There is no way we can spend hundreds and thousands of dollars or millions of dollars, creating some tool that some tool developers charge for, give it away for free to build up the links, naturally, we look at Uber's you just have to try to build any links, it just naturally happened. And this stuff happens continually. I'm getting the links every single month without doing anything because everyone's was like, that's a great free tool. So I want to break down how you can replicate that on a budget without spending any money. The first thing you can do is give away a self-assessment tool or a discovery tool like a quiz. Quizzes work people love to have a link all the time. One of my buddies has a quiz that if you're going to be on the naughty or nice list for Santa. He gets thousands of links. He doesn't do anything. It 'so simple quiz. You can use tools like lead quizzes to create these quizzes for you. The next thing you can do is create infographics. So there is already a little. FREE LINK BUILDING A lot of popular articles on the web. And when there's a popular article on the web, people are much more likely to link to it because they already like it shared as social proof. It's already amazing because if it wasn't amazing, no one would be linking to it. But what I want to do is I don't want to just create that same article over and over again, or create a better version of it. I want to do something that is simpler. And what I do is I use a tool called info graham, and create an infographic out of that original piece of content. So when someone else published your article talking about 10 ways to boost your search engine ranking, I could turn it into an infographic via Instagram or Canva and publish it on my site and let everyone knows who the original article is like, hey, Notice, you link to this article I've infographic that explains the steps step by step, feel free to include it in your article, and they'll embed that infographic link back to you and what you'll find. A ton of links without trying because someone linked to the original article. Why don't they link to a visual version of it that makes it easier? On their readers, the next thing you can do is build a product as Uber suggests without building it. So there is a site called code canyon.net. And what Code Canyon does is list all these scripts that you can pay at a really affordable fee like $ 5 $10 $ 15, to get these tools that you can integrate on your site with very little to no coding experience. And now you have tools like Uber's, which does that you 're putting on your site that people love, and they' linking to naturally. That 's how I started off. See, I didn't learn this process by first creating Uber's. Who does? Back in the day, I bought the SEO script that helped people analyze their site, and I paid less than 100 bucks for this script. I put it on that was the most popular and visited the page on my site, because people like oh, wow, this script teaches me how to improve my SEO, all from a simple free, technically not free, but a really affordable base script. General Chat Chat Lounge And you don't have to just look at Code Canyon. You can use Google scripts for anything, SEO, mortgage, calculator, anything industry weight loss calculator. SOCIAL LINK BUILDING Every single industry has different scripts, which is a great way to get that link juice flowing. These people naturally link to stuff that solves their problems. They don't have to read a few buttons, it gives them the solution right then and there. And last but not least, you got to promote, even if you're not trying to build links, that's okay. But promote. Every time I release a new feature, I try to push your product. I try to share it on Twitter, I try to share it on Facebook, I try to tell people on Instagram or create videos on YouTube it, I'll go live, do whatever you can to promote if you have to tell people to knock. on doors, email, do whatever it takes. Because when you create that, you 'll get more users, you' ll get that word of mouth effect. And then people really start linking to you without you being too much. And that's amazing because then you don't have to keep trying to help you like, well, you link to me, hey, I just released this. You link to me. Most people hate those emails. You hate sending them but if you do these steps, you 'll find you' ll get the links without even trying If you need help growing your rankings or building links, check out my post on www.techmekraj.com,www.techmekraj.blog and on www.recepiezz.blogspot.com. Thank you for your like and comment on it. Make sure you comment, like my posts, tell the people about it and leave a comment if you have any questions.

http://www.techmekraj.com/2019/12/backlink-building.html

#SEO #Local SEO training

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hinaakawaii · 5 years

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Aug 11, 2019

I didn’t go to church to day, I spend time with my with my SHS friend and hang out at her dorm, we read poetries and watched anime together, I couldn’t go to church today because I don’t feel ready facing the people there, I mean—I haven’t been going there for like a month already because of some personal issues that I can’t share right now but I swear to God I will go back if I am ready to face them.

Aug 18, 2019

I went with my sister today, I just miss my old school I want go back so bad and It’s been though and I am trying my best not to cry in school, I t feels like everyone hates me, I don’t even have friends yet and I want to cry everyday but I try not to, since I had 3 breakdowns in a week now I needed someone to talk to that’s why I called my sister, but on the bright side I am enjoying some of my subject but hopefully this goes on until finals, and I just wish I can adjust immediately

Aug 25, 2019

Finally, went to church! I remember I had a breakdown in class during our quiz in GSELF I went out and cried in the comfort room it was panic attack, I already went to the Guidance they gave me some tips to lessen my attacks, like stress balls and writing them down I don’t know if it’s going to be effective though I am literally trying my best to cope up with the stress and it’s getting really hard each day I can’t tell my mom so I ran to God for comfort but I am still embarrassed because it feels like I am only talking to God when things are hard, I miss my old school, I miss my friends, I miss church, I miss God. I just wish I can adjust immediately.

Sept. 1, 2019

I went on a date with my dad to buy my new laptop because I need for school, I just wish I can spend more Jollibee time with him in the future, I mean he is not dying but I wish I can give back all the efforts that he is giving to me ever since I was born, I just love my Dad so much he means the world to me, he gave me everything as long as he can afford it and I want to give that back as much as I can. So we talked about school I couldn’t push myself to tell him that I was having a hard time but still he hugged me and told me “Kaya mo yan!” I can do this!

Sep. 8 2019

Well, I am studying for Botany, I did so bad in the previous quizzes as much as I want to say that it doesn’t define me I can’t help but say “ Why did I fail that quiz?” I did review a lot and even woke up at 3 to study but I don’t know where I did wrong. Instead of focusing here I am, stressing myself to get high grades and I don’t even know where am I getting this pressure, my parents never asked for high grades but I wanted to give them more, I can’t help but cry, I wish I did better.

Sept. 15, 2019

I went to church, I feel so home and they all told me they missed me, though I wasn’t focused enough with the preaching but still it was very comforting but after that I went home, and studied for Botany, I didn’t do much just study the whole afternoon and fell asleep after then I woke up, it’s morning already.

Sept. 22, 2019

We had a practice for P.E and I was so annoyed because this girl kept on bossing us around, she’s not even the leader but I didn’t say anything but instead I focused in the practice knowing that I have to study for Botany after I didn’t even want to study about plants! I want to back to my old school, really for the nth time I will go back there, that’s like my studying home.

PS: I don’t hate you sir, I just like the ambiance of that school and there is a story behind why I can’t leave that school yet, I overcame my personal issues while I was there and it’s really though leaving the school that has been part of emotional support, I still like SLU but I really want to go back.

Sept. 29, 2019

I went to study with Nami and we took pictures together since session is open now, we walked there and went to look for a decent KTV and we went to Center Mall but since there’s no electricity there we had to go up in SM and we waited for like 2hrs and we sand of course and went Wingyard to eat some chicken and went home it was a good day.

Oct. 6 2019

I went to zentea and studied again… for Botany again… I stayed for as long as I can remember, I can’t remember how many hours then I went and buy new clothes J and wen’t home straight and slept.

Oct. 13, 2019

I went to church and stayed there until 5;00 we just talked about life and I remember the pastor saying na “ God Reigns Over Your Storm” I am contemplating if I should go and stop for a sem or go back to my old school and study nursing there, I really need a break from school it’s not healthy for my mental health anymore It get’s to me wherever I go and my mom is starting to notice and she’s asking me if I want to withdraw and start to think if I should stay to SLU but shift or if I want to go back in my old school.

Oct 20, 2019

I went to church with my friend Kim today and the pastor said that “your purpose isn’t defined by how people think of you, it is defined by how God is going to use you” it was very timely indeed and I was so scare during the altar call I didn’t go and just sang and cry I my chair but I really need prayers because I am so confused right now I want to be a doctor so bad but I am scared that it’s not for me, I am scared that it is not what God wants for me and it’s breaking my heart, Imagine quitting your dreams just because you think you can’t do it, It just feels like it isn’t for me at all, I don’t want to quit but I feel like quitting, it feels like I can’t do it anymore.

Oct 27, 2019

I decided that I am going back to my old school next semester, I will be missing my SLU friends and some of the teachers in SLU but I really want to go back to my old school because that is where my life began and I can’t wait to go back but first I need to study for my practical exam and Quiz in Botany, we did our filming today though but it’s okayyyy I can study it all somehow.

#personal

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medicallybl0nde · 5 years

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I finally got through all the cardio lectures! Next up is the few respiratory components and then the pracs. Hopefully I’ll get all that done by tomorrow night so I can spend saturday and monday doing extra revision

I got my results back for that dumb lab report, my second stats assignment, and my virology exam. 95% for the report, 77.5% for the assignment, and 90.7% for the exam..not too bad. I must say getting 90′s is fun but also gives me this weird feeling of disappointment for getting so close to 100 but not achieving it. the 77.5% on the assignment was more than I was expecting for a math based unit but still not the HD I promised myself I’d be getting in all units.

I’m a little disappointed with where I’m at with my studies at the moment. which is harsh considering this time last year I was doing only 3 units and failing 2 of them. But I have such a big journey ahead of me and I can’t let any part of me go soft just because I’ve “come so far”...I can’t afford to be like “wow look how good I’ve been I’m going to let myself rest for a second” because that’s how you lose your shit y’know. I feel like lately I’ve been losing it a little, I’ve hardly studied at all for chem and stats. I’m only just now catching up on physiology with less than a week to go till the midsem. the only unit I’m excelling at near perfectly is medical microbiology...because, well, at my absolute core I’m a microbiologist. My AIMS majors (if I sit the AIMS year) will be microbiology, immunology, and probably biochem. It’s so hard to tell my brain to let go of micro a little so I can concentrate on the other units. I just naturally gravitate towards the lab sciences.

Putting all these thoughts aside for a minute, I am leaning more and more towards doing the AIMS year no matter what (meaning even if I qualify to apply for med school next year I’ll wait the extra year) the more I think about it the more I get excited to graduate an AIMS accredited laboratory medical scientist. and the fourth year with a good gamsat score will mean it’ll be almost guaranteed I can get into unimelb... which is the #1 med school in australia and 17th in the world (which seems pretty low on the list but considering there is 100+ med schools just in the US alone not including another 100+ in the UK and even more with the combined other countries....it’s a big deal)

If I cap my undergrad a year early and graduate at the end of next year, with perfect grades, I’d never get anywhere near unimelb. it’s still a possibility I’ll apply next year but yeah, if I do the AIMS year....I’ll get into a better school and get out of this city. kind of a good trade for an extra year of my life. I get to spend it in a lab and by the end of it I’ll be in a good position to get into the best med school in the country and therefor become one of the countries best med students. (as long as my grades stay up for this year and next)

back to study stuff: basically, I’m mad at myself for my study schedule in sem 1, I’ve hardly put any effort into my time management and I’m going to really need to strap in for finals in 2 months. I’m definitely going to spend winter break reviewing my approach to study schedules (whilst gamsat prepping)

Anyways, wish me luck for this physiology midsem on cardio and resp. ta.

#personal #study update #studyblr #physiology #everything hurts #an honest critical self review of my current approach to how i study #im shit

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proddigitalidiomas · 5 years

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IMAGEM: Yaruta/Depositphotos | EDIÇÃO: Proddigital Idiomas

Hi everyone! How are you? Neste artigo vamos tocar em mais uma área da língua onde usamos formas específicas e diferentes de falar em inglês. Estas áreas exigem mais que apenas conjugações de verbos e traduções, mas também expressões e phrasal verbs particulares que podem criar dúvidas quando tentamos traduzir em português. Sobre que estamos falando? Mudanças! Ou seja, sair de um lugar/cidade onde você mora ou trabalha ou qualquer lugar residencial e, entrar e morar num lugar novo/diferente (se mudar / to move).

Em português usamos a forma reflexiva com o verbo mudar, sendo se mudar, quando isso acontece. Em inglês usamos também um verbo que tem outro sentido neste contexto sendo o verbo To Move. Além do verbo To Move, que pode também se traduzir como mover ou mexer, temos os phrasal verbs extremamente comuns: To Move In (entrar num novo lugar para morar), To Move Out (sair do lugar onde você mora) e o substantivo A/The Move que significa uma mudança. Muita coisa não é? Não se preocupe! Vamos revisar tudo com áudios e exemplos para tirar todas as suas dúvidas e certificar que esteja muito claro na hora de falar. Let’s go!

Como Aprender Inglês com Filmes e Séries? — E-BOOK GRATUITO

Veja também

To Sleep, Sleep, Asleep e To Fall Asleep — Qual a diferença?

To Lose e To Miss — Qual a diferença?

Make-Up, Makeup e To Make Up — Qual a diferença?

To Move — Se Mudar/Mexer/Mover

Na forma mais “pura” deste verbo (sem preposição como phrasal verb) tem vários significados. O contexto vai sempre deixar muito claro de que estamos falando, mas é importante anotar as traduções portuguesas. O verbo mudar, sem o pronome reflexivo, se traduz como To Change, mas não será com contexto de mudança de lugar (na maioria dos casos!).

I need to move, my landlord just increased my rent and I can’t afford it anymore!* ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu preciso me mudar, meu proprietário acabou de aumentar meu aluguel e não posso arcar mais!

*Podemos também adicionar a palavra “apartamento” ou “casa” para deixar mais claro, mas não é preciso: I need to move apartments, my landlord just increased my rent.

My neighbours are moving to Canada next week, they are having a going away party. ouvir áudio 🎧 Meus vizinhos estão se mudando pro Canadá na semana que vem, eles vão fazer uma festa de despedida.

I haven’t moved in 10 years, I love my house and the neighbourhood.* ouvir áudio 🎧 Não me mudei há 10 anos, eu amo minha casa e meu bairro.

*Lembre-se que usamos o present perfect (have/has + particípio) quando estamos falando de um tempo que começa no passado até agora.

I used to live in Bahia, but then I moved to Manaus and then to Porto Alegre. ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu costumava morar na Bahia, mas eu me mudei para Manaus e depois para Porto Alegre.

Please move your computer and books so I can clean the table. ouvir áudio 🎧 Por favor, mova seu computador e livros para que eu possa limpar a mesa.

I moved my bed to the other side of the bedroom to make more space. ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu mudei minha cama para o outro lado do quarto para criar mais espaço.

Don’t move! There’s a bee on your shoulder! ouvir áudio 🎧 Não se mexa! Tem uma abelha no seu ombro!

Stop moving around and please just focus on your work.* ouvir áudio 🎧 Pare de se mexer e por favor foque somente no seu trabalho.

*Moving around se traduz como mexer no sentido de mexer o corpo sem propósito.

To Move In - Se Mudar (para um lugar)

I just moved in to my new apartment and I still have so much to do! ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu acabei de me mudar para o meu novo apartamento e ainda tenho muito o que fazer!

My parents have just moved in to a new condominium, the building has a pool and I can’t wait to visit! ouvir áudio 🎧 Meus pais acabaram de se mudar para um novo condomínio, o prédio tem uma piscina e mal posso esperar para visita-lo!

*Anote que usamos a preposição to para conectar o phrasal verb To Move Incom o lugar.

My sister is moving in with me until she finds a new job.* ouvir áudio 🎧 Minha irmã vai morar comigo até que ela encontre um novo emprego.

*Aqui a tradução é um pouco diferente porque estamos falando de morar com uma pessoa e não um lugar novo (o lugar é novo sim, mas a frase fala somente da pessoa).

My boyfriend moved in to my apartment last week, it’s going really well. ouvir áudio 🎧 Meu namorado se mudou para meu apartamento na semana passado, está indo muito bem.

Observação: não usamos To Move In para cidades ou lugares que não sejam apartamentos, casas ou espaços físicos. Exemplo: I used to live in New York but then moved in to London. Aqui não usamos To Move In mas sim o verbo To Move com a preposição certa, neste caso to.

To Move Out - Sair (de um lugar)

I am going to move out of my parents house next year for sure, I’m looking forward to it! ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu vou sair da casa dos meus pais no ano que vem sem dúvida, estou ansiosa!

My brother separated from his wife and just moved out of his house. ouvir áudio 🎧 Meu irmão se separou da mulher dele e acabou de sair da casa dele.

I wanted to move out of my apartment last year, but couldn’t find the right place. ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu quis sair da meu apartamento no ano passado, mas não consegui achar o lugar certo.

You can’t move out of your house, it’s so nice and cheap! ouvir áudio 🎧 Você não pode sair da sua casa, é tão bonita e barata!

Note a preposição usado com o verbo To Move Out é of. Não podemos usar outras preposições como to, from, etc.

A/The Move - Uma/A Mudança

Aqui, não estamos usando um verbo, mas um substantivo. Verbos em inglês no infinitivo sempre têm TO. Sem TO, e com artigo definido The ou indefinido A, a palavra vira substantivo.

The company is growing and will need more space, let’s look for a new office and plan the move for January. ouvir áudio 🎧 A empresa está crescendo a vai precisar de mais espaço, vamos procurar um novo escritório e planejar a mudança para Janeiro.

My boyfriend is moving in to an apartment on the fourth floor in a building with no elevator, it’s going to be a tough move! ouvir áudio 🎧 Meu namorado está se mudando para um aparamento no quarto andar num prédio que não tem elevador, vai ser uma mudança difícil!

I can recommend a company that helps with moving, my move to this building went really well.* ouvir áudio 🎧 Eu posso indicar uma empresa que ajuda com a mudança, minha mudança para este prédio correu muito bem.

*Em inglês, o gerúndio (-ing) é frequentemente usado como objeto. Aqui, usamos moving com o conceito de se mudar em geral. Poderíamos também usar o substantivo (a company that helps with moves) mas o gerúndio está melhor.

E isso aí galera. Agora vocês estão prontos para falar de qualquer mudança com moleza! Acabamos de ver como usar os verbos To Move, To Move In, To Move Out além do substantivo The/A Move. Gostou? Ainda na dúvida? Queremos seu feedback! Deixe seus comentários abaixo e responderemos já já! Thanks so much guys!

Wait! One more thing! Só te lembrando que nós recomendamos o uso da ferramenta Anki nos seus estudos do inglês. Essa ferramenta é ótima e vai te ajudar muito no seu aprendizado mais rápido da língua inglesa. Espera aí! Você nunca ouviu falar dessa ferramenta? Não se preocupe então! Basta clicar aquipois criamos um artigo completo sobre o que é o Anki e como baixa-lo no seu computador ou celular.

Como Aprender Inglês com Filmes e Séries? — E-BOOK GRATUITO

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garym23-blog · 6 years

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Sharing my experience of Prostatitis- I hope it helps somebody..

Hello, my name is Gary Mehmet. I am a 43 year old man who has over the past two years, been suffering with prostatitis. I am now in a position where I feel much better than since this illness began- about 85-90% better. I still have the odd relapse, which can cause pain for a few days, but I can see huge signs of progress and so in the spirit of wanting to pass something on that might help somebody else looking for help in this area, maybe somebody who does not have any idea how this may have come about or where to go for help or what to ask, I wanted to type something about my experience. I am just an ordinary man, average intelligence and definitely no writer, So I cannot promise you an exciting or super witty read, but if you can get through what I have written in one piece, then I hope you find something helpful in getting the help you need. so here goes, I am going to try and share something of my experience..1,2,3.

How I believe this started:

It was early March 2017. We were away for a few days on the Isle of Wight with our newborn son, Jamie. The first I knew, was overnight, waking to go to the toilet and physically being unable to. I sat and waited and waited and I pushed as far as I could but nothing. I could not pee. That was really the only sign.

There was a lot of stress in my life at this time, not really too interesting; usual things really, divorce in 2014 after 16 years together, an unhappy career in hotel corporate sales lasting 15 years on and off, an altercation with a bully in 2013, which sent my life into a spiral that I am still trying to recover from. That's not normal, you say? Really? Well, there you go. We are all different. I have faced some challenges and made my decisions, some of which I regret but none of which I can change. And I have experienced my share of pain, like anybody else. I am doing my best to move on and to grow as a Man. But looking back on where Prostatitis fits into all of this, it seems to me that this particular illness followed this period of time, so stress may have brought this condition on..

My experience with the NHS

I have been to see a few doctors in the UK. initially, we rushed from the Isle of Wight to visit a drop in 24 hour emergency centre in Hastings. I was seen by a nurse who asked for a sample. I was amazed that I was able to produce this, but I did manage to pee a little and it hurt to do so. The feeling was a like a burning sensation. The sample was screened under something like an ultra violet coloured lamp and the nurse said, this was definitely a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). I was soon after seen by a doctor, who said that this type of infection was very uncommon for a man because of the length of our ……. Apparently this doctor did not believe in bedside manner. He got straight to the point and I will be honest, I did worry.

I was sent off from this appointment with my urine sample and asked to bring it to a local hospital for further testing. I handed my sample to a member of staff at the department of the hospital, as advised. And that was that. I was told the results would be with my local GP in about a few days time.

I went to see my local GP, in Ashford, Kent and my sample had been lost... But a message later came back saying everything was clear..(which seemed strange to me because no further explanation was given as to the connection between the sample being lost and everything now being okay) So, not sure what to make of that, but that was that.

The doctor prescribed antibiotics and I took antibiotics for a good few weeks. I think I went through 2-3 courses of antibiotics. When I ran out, I would make a new appointment and ask a doctor for another. Each doctor said something a little different, like it might be in my mind, ‘you need to stop worrying..’ ‘this is an aftershock in the body after a UTI and it will settle on its own..’ and ‘your prostate feels a little enlarged, we can arrange for you to see a urologist..’ a process, I discovered would take around 12-16 weeks. The NHS is not the best system, but I experienced care by a variety of doctors who were all doing their best to help me.

I cannot remember exactly how long antibiotics seemed to help me for.. I remember feeling better taking them than not, otherwise I would not have asked for more, but it never took the pain away and when the course ran out, the pain would return fully. For me, this mostly meant pain at night, in the centre of my groin (I cannot describe it better than that) just a deep and low- medium level pain that I imagine like a storm brewing... I was unable to lie on either side and would wake several times at night sometimes 2-4 times an hour and I remember having a very difficult time trying to go. In the day time, I would feel the need to go, try to go and then be sitting for up to 45 minutes trying to..you know..go... I could not sleep well, I could not wake up and slowly, I started losing all energy and becoming anxious and tense.

Before, I got the chance to see the Urologist via the NHS referral system, My wife and I had decided to move to Germany for a few years, a bit of space from the pain of the past few years and a transfer opportunity that had come up for my wife, meaning we could go immediately. My wife had friends and family near Munich.. So, we decided we would rent our home and go… And that was July 2017.

It is now March 6th 2019, we are still here. I am having a challenge learning German, but I have learnt a lot and continue to learn as the weeks go by. I have been approached by companies out here for work, which is great, but mostly sales roles and I am trying not to do this. I have spent a period looking after my son, until we could get him into a local Kita (early stage nursery) and a period sorting my health out, because up until the last 2 months, I have not been able to get through a single day consistently well. (Oh and top of prostatitis, I have developed a new chronic allergy to Birch Pollen and as luck would have it, we have a huge collection of said trees right outside our apartment.. I wheeze at night and cannot sleep; either because of wheezing or prostate problems... It has been a strange and uncomfortable experience. I am not saying it is worse than anybody else's only that for me, I have found this very difficult to manage my health day to day, steaming every surface my wife and son touch as they come home, tablets to lessen allergic reactions, asthma inhalers, nasal sprays, (in the past few months, I have also been through a course of injections (‘desensibilisierung’) to help my body), humidifiers to help clean the air and various air purifiers We have recently found a good one and it is really helping, but it is early days. Hell broke loose when the birch pollen exploded mid-late last march.. It is only the 6th March..

Anyway, sorry back on track.. What next?

‘Urologists and Doctors a plenty’ in Germany

It is easy to see doctors out here, in Wolfratshausen and Munich. Everything is private but affordable. I have seen several doctors and the experience has been mixed. in this time, I have seen urologists both old school and an homeopathic urologist. I have had the cystoscopy, which actually really hurt.. Sorry if you don't know what that is-- well..It involved a tube with a camera on the end of it and that is inserted into the tip of your urethra and pushed on and on and on (it seemed) until they (the doctor and nurse) could see what was going on in the bladder and prostate areas. A numbing jelly is applied to the tip of your penis and then comes the tube. It should not be painful and foremost I dont think it is. Why was it painful for me then? I’ll come back to that in a minute. Anyway, this examination revealed nothing. I was then sent to a local General Doctor, who also could not think how to help me. No signs of cancer, my prostate did not seem ‘interesting’ to the Urologist anyway, normal for my age not big, not small, but fine.. And as I said, the doctor had little help to offer, at all, in fact. My wife and i came out of the appointment both shaking our heads in disbelief.

But, I think it is worth noting that I was not offered more antibiotics by this urologist or any other doctor, which actually, I appreciated. At the urologist, the first thing you do other than show your health insurance card and say I have an appointment.. Is go and pee in a cup and leave it for a nurse or other professional to check for signs of infection.. This happens before you walk into your actual appointment..

Online Learning..

My wife and I were doing a lot of research on the type of Urologist, we thought could help us. Normally, I understand that we should not as untrained professionals do our own research and self-diagnose.. My experience so far, was that this was not a simple matter and I needed to try and educate myself a little- I found a book, which I will come to, a little later and that helped me to learn some things but otherwise the research was to really find a doctor we believe could help us.

From the doctors, we had seen until now, it seemed to us, like we needed a certain sort of doctor to do that. It had felt for a while like we were being talked to but not listened to. I would prepare my notes on what I was experiencing, thinking this might provide clues that would help the doctor in identifying meaningful signs that would lead to a clear diagnosis. But nobody seemed to listen to us, until this point.. So we started searching through the websites of any urologists we could find until we found somebody we thought looked or sounded like they might be interested in listening to us.

Through this research, we found a nice female Urologist in Munich and we went to see her a few times. She did ask us questions, not to me, of course, (Deutsch ist sehr Schwierig..) but to my wife. And to her credit, she listened. Every doctor tests the urine sample but this lady asked for a semen sample.. She said I could go home to do this but I offered to assist, for the sake of expediency of course, after excusing myself for a short break to the toilet. This seemed to make her nervous as her face flushed, so my wife offered to bring a sample in the next day.

This test result was again clear. So no luck there. But after explaining my symptoms, this doctor prescribed a course of three tablets:

Tamulosin

Trospiumcholrid

Diclofenac

This combination seemed to create a whole new set of problems. I seemed to develop severe symptoms, which I did not understand. It feels really strange to admit that I could not at this time make the connection, in my mind, between these new symptoms and the new medication. I thought my illness had just taken a turn. It took several weeks before I started to question the medication being perhaps harmful and not helpful.

In this time, I had become highly sensitive to eating almost anything- of course foods like Sauerkraut were off limits (far too acidic) but so seemed most meats, vegetables (Peppers for example), fruit (no more apples or strawberries) and even, can you believe it, beer!!!! (my weekend treat, was gone!), jam, sugar, apfelsaft/Juice even tea.

After nearly two months, I felt likei was on my knees and I asked my wife, sorry, will refer to her by name (veronika or Vroni for short), Vroni set up the appointment and we went back to see her a few days later. I brought my notes and the doctor seemed keen to hear but after listening to me, encouraged me to stay on the medication..

I was not comfortable doing this, so off we went again in search of a new doctor, to help.

Back to Wolfrathausen..

We went to a Urologist in Wolfratshausen (a different man within the same clinic as my first appointment here). This man was part English and had spent time living in England and it was for these reasons, where I knew I stood a better chance of communicating directly with the doctor and not through my wife, that we chose to see him). He was a straight talking old man, who spoke very directly and told me that I should not expect a full examination on seeing him(we had called and made an appointment to see a urologist and had explained our symptoms..) and that were other patients waiting.. In the short time, we were with him though, the usual tests were conducted ie on my urine, a manual prostate exam (don't ask... okay, you lie on your side and the man wears a very thin plastic glove, applies some lubricant and.... Yep, you guessed it :) ) and he asked about the medication I had been taking. On hearing of the mecication I mentioned earlier, he very quickly told me that this sort of medication was only given to elderly men who are too old to be operated on and that this was far too heavy for me and strongly advised me to come off them immediately. He also told me that he did not believe diet had anything to do with my condition and that was just voodoo nonsense..

Great off the tablets then... but I still think diet is part of the problem..

Up until now, i had been trying to approach every doctor with an open mind and willing to try whatever was asked of me. But over time, I was starting to realise that I had to listen to my body and sometimes challenge advice given and because I was doing this and because there are more than one urologist available here in Bavaria, Germany, I eventually found my way to the doctor I have just mentioned and I felt confident now to come off the tablets. And it helped me. A lot. The food sensitivities eased within a few days and I was now back to where I was before with just a ‘straightforward’ set of prostate related problems.. taking too long to pee in the day, unable to sleep at night and waking to go between 2-11 times per night, trying to go, pushing, only able to go standing not sitting, never feeling emptied.

Looking into Homeopathy..

I had been reading as much as i could. I had come across the idea of an alkaline diet possibly helping- the concept of helping reduce the body’s acidity level being helpful for inflammation, so I thought there might be something in that.. After reading very briefly, I decided it was definitely not for me- the diet seemed so restrictive, like I would not be able to eat anything again- okay bit of an overstatement- but my meaning- it was not for me to be so restrictive with my eating ie no milk, no sugar, no meat, no bread, no pasta, no alcohol.. So I said no to that and we moved on. There had to be another way..

But looking into diet and connection with prostatitis got me thinking about other natural ways to help the body recover rather than the harsh chemicals/tablets I had been exposing myself to, so far. As luck would have it, we found an homeopathic urologist (again a lady) in Wolfratshausen.

This doctor did an ultrasound (like for a pregnant lady) of my bladder/prostate area and this was the first time, something more specific about my problem was shared with us.. She told us that the lining to my urethra looks damaged and that this was part of the problem.. Not quite sure how it happened, though... I came to thinking about a period in summer 2016, I had worn the same (yes, I am ashamed to admit this, but in the spirit of disclosure and trying to help somebody else, here it is..), the same pair of sports shorts for a few days without underwear. To ride my bicycle to the gym, have a workout, take a quick dip in the pool and a few minutes in the sauna and then even showering with my shorts on before riding home… I know, yuck!

I still don't know why I did this. The shorts were very comfortable and with a quick drying material.. I might not have the best personal habits but when I go out, I am quite serious about hygiene. This episode was an unusual one for me and perhaps in this time, an infection found its way into my urethra. When I really do think back to that time, my penis did seem to itch a little after a few days, I just did not think anything of it at the time so… I guess there it is… maybe that is where it started..

Natural treatments… From this point, we just trusted this doctor implicitly and did everything she said. She did not seem to want to ask me any questions, only tell me what to do, don't eat apples, no apple cider vinegar, drink lots of water, Fresh espresso is fine (phew!!), pineapples warm- are good, lemon water is especially good- to alkalise the body and so on.

We went home with a list of foods that were good or not good for me and we started making some changes. I don't remember them all, but a few habits that stuck-

Out

Apples

Strawberries

Kiwis

Wine

Weiss bier

Fruit juice

Fruit teas

Instant coffee

Vinegar (ie balsamic)

Lemon water

Espresso (mild)

Pineapple (warm)

Monitoring my water intake and especially the colour of my urine- looking for a nice bright yellow or clear colour- this actually really helped. I had much more comfortable days when my urine was light yellow/clear- that for me was from drinking 2-2.5L water per day.

Several weeks went by and it definitely felt like we were seeing progress I was getting more sleep and though still having difficulties when I did wake, in the day time, going to the toilet was starting to ease. I still could not go comfortably sitting down, but I was going easier than I had for a long time and that was great.

But things got worse. Again.. After several weeks, things seemed to get worse again. Not sure why. I was following the guidelines.. I was not happy being home alone and often deeply upset over not being able to see my children in England and other things but otherwise, not sure- though perhaps there is exactly the problem- stress/depression..?

We returned to the Urologist, again with a set of notes on how we were experiencing things. The doctor listened for a short time then interrupted us and gave us a new set of guidelines including a homeopathic - suppository (another thing to stick up the …. I think you know.. But if not, look it up.. )

I was advised when I awoke at night, in pain, to come away from bed and drink a cup of lemon water (hot/cold are both fine- I like mine hot- 1 whole lemon freshly squeezed with some chopped fresh ginger and honey- delicious!!) and if that did not help, then I should take the suppository.

I tried this a few times and I have promised myself to never, ever do it again. I am not going to describe anything further about it only to say, no. never again. Discomfort not worth it.

At this point, we felt we had again reached a limit with a doctor because again this doctor, as nice as she was, wanted to talk to us more than listen and when we did, we were often interrupted and we were just given a random list of new things to try when she saw us back at her door. I truly appreciate and respect this particular doctor. She helped us see that diet was a key in all of this, to limiting symptoms (not curing them) and that natural treatments could help us.

We wanted to keep following this line of enquiry and see if we could still make further progress because I was still living in pain and not ready to accept that this is how it will be, indefinitely.

The help we needed was right under our noses, so to speak..

As it turned out, my father in law had been also suffering with problems in the bladder/prostate area. He had been experiencing ‘spotting’ (blood) in his urine. This was tested and it was found that he had signs of cancer. He is a former teacher and has a very extensive health cover policy, far greater than the basic one I have. Teachers out here are all very well looked after out here. My father in law had been in and out of a well known private hospital (Klinikum Grosshadern) in Munich, where he had been treated and operated on. After several months, he has had the tumours/growths cut out and is reported to be completely cancer free, which is great news. After so much time when we were both seeing doctors about the same area of the body, finally, we talked about the doctor he was seeing. A specialist called Dr.Magestro.

Ordinarily, I would not have been able to see him because of our policy not covering his services. But, there was an opporutnity to go along to an open ‘surgery’ style session where I could share my experiences with an admin lady who would see if I fit some sort of criteria to be seen by this doctor. I did go along and was given an appointment and that was the start of a breakthrough, for me.

A breakthrough. Finally.. I remember seeing Dr.Magestro, very nervous and scared he would not waste much time with me. Of course, I took a lot of notes with me. I had also recently come across a book entitled- ‘A headache in the pelvis’ by David Wise and Rodney Anderson Which was very, very interesting to me- it is a massive book though at over 600 pages and as motivated as i am, I am also regrettably quite lazy when it comes to reading (okay, Vroni I admit it, yes I like buying books and lining them all up to read but, am very slow in getting round to reading them.. Conscious clear.). Anyway, I had been reading for a few weeks as much as I could before arranging to meet this doctor, in order to try and appear a little more knowledgeable because I thought that would make me less of a time waster and perhaps more of an interesting patient.. (I did not know any better at the time. I only knew this was an opportunity and I did not want to waste ie)

In a short time, I read about how doctors conventionally trained in Urology do not get much, if at all modern training on Prostatitis. It has long been suffered by people and there are different types ie:

Bacterial Prostatitis

Non bacterial prostatitis

Chronic Prostatitis

Pelvic pain syndrome

(Sometimes the problem is even NOT THE PROSTATE!)

I saw through what I read that the ideal situation for a doctor in this area is that they find an infection and throw some antibiotics at it- which wil help clear the infection, mostly. But the problem is where there is no sign of infection.. Doctors have limited time and resources at their disposal to try and investigate this matter further. It is complicated. (The book talks about a meeting point between mind and body often being in the Pelvis region.)

I have read anecdotes about doctors who will tell patients they are fine, to go home and make love to their wife because they are okay, as a placebo technique that can in itself create a reduction of symptoms- showing the power of the mind. But I read that this is also a limited strategy that only removes the symptoms for a short period- maybe a few weeks or months. I also read about doctors who, as part of a study, deliberately told patients during examinations that they had the signs of cancer, to then note how the body of that patient would start to show signs of stress and an increase in certain symptoms, to then tell the patient they had made a mistake.. Sneaky, eh?! But also reinforcing the power of the mind to heal or hurt itself.

I learnt that prostatitis is often but not always connected with a UTI. I learnt that pharmaceutical companies and health insurance companies do not invest much in prostatitis and that this has a knock on effect on the priority that Urologists may give to patients with this condition. I read how people whose analogy includes the remains of a tailbone, in the same way as a dog will tuck in its tail when stressed, people can clench this area and over time this can give way to prostatitis like symptoms. Stress seems to be definitely involved.

Pain leads to anxiety, which leads to tension and this becomes a cycle.. Treatment has to focus on breaking that cycle and only in the past 30 or so years have a few specialised doctors at Stanford University been at the centre of pioneering treatments focused on a sort of three way treatment system involving a urologists care, physiotherapy to help loosen the tightened areas of the pelvis and psychologist/counselling to help with stress and other underlying issues. That is mostly what I recall from my reading. But please see the book yourself and do not take my word for it. I am just an ordinary guy with average intelligence..

But I hope you get some idea here, that I really tried to educate myself on this area, at least as much as I could.

Back to the appointment..

Okay, after the introductions, Dr. Magestro patiently invited me to explain my symptoms and he really listened- finally!! And more importantly, he asked questions back to me and made notes… He went through the usual examinations on my urine, manually checking my prostate and then asking for a further sample after the prostate examination, to get this time a sample from the actual prostate (sorry, cannot explain better than that) which would, he said shed some more light on what had been going on the past several months. The doctor was going to carry out some extensive tests to find the problem.

I remember at this point, feeling quite tearful, that we were finally in front of a doctor who really wanted to listen and help. The doctor was going to see me, as continued research into this area that he was involved in. We were invited back in 2 weeks time for the results..

The results..

We were nervous and for some reason a little excited to go in and find out what was wrong and how to put it right.. So you can imagine how we felt when the Doctor said he found… nothing…. I remember him asking questions at the beginning of the appointment about what we thought might be wrong, listening and nodding as I tried to explain my thoughts and memories only to then say, that he found nothing..

Keep calm and keep moving forwards..

We discussed this revelation and we brought up many memories of other doctors who had said the same thing but that we were still suffering and we needed help. The doctor assured us and told us that this was actually not uncommon and that he treated many people of all ages in all walks of life including politicians, sports stars, pilots and that he was going to put together a plan to help find a cure involving (and it was so good to hear him say this..) his care to oversee things, a physiotherapist and maybe a psychologist. I knew I had found somebody special in this doctor, who listened and wanted to keep going to find a solution. He also labelled my condition as non bacterial prostatitis.

Because I did not have health cover for access to this doctor, we agreed on a flexible 6 weekly appointment. Dr. Magistro offered to try different treatments with me and to see after a period of 6 weeks how things were going and then review and change as necessary. He said he would do as much as he could to help and if necessary, pass me on to other colleagues to focus on other areas of care that might help. He also said that he was sure within 6 months, we can fix this problem (that was such beautiful music to my ears)..

And...?

We were initially prescribe a Verikur and Quercetin. One of these medications was supposed to relax the bladder, the other to reduce the urgency or frequency I felt, to go..After a few weeks, I made a decision to cut out the Verikur because I felt I was having a hard time with it. I stayed with just the Quercetin and I cut that down from 2 tablets x2 per day (after breakfast and dinner) to just one dose a day, I chose that to be in the evening after my main meal and a few hours before bedtime.- when my problems start to kick in.

From the start the feeling was great. I got a good night sleep and mostly only woke only once. That for me, was the biggest sign I have seen, since this whole thing began, that allowed me to believe that I could get better...

How are things going now? It has been about 3-4 months now since our first appointment with Dr.Magestro. I have found that Quercetin, has really helped me. I still have a few occasional nights where I wake 3-4 times they tend to be when I am stressed - I am working on that- but otherwise, I might wake 1 or 2 times and… get this… I am able to sit down and pee.. Should I admit that?! Too late.. And I can go while seated.. And in the middle of the night when I can hardly keep my eyes open, this is really helpful (I can remember swaying on my feet in times gone by, eyes closed because I was so tired and pushing myself to go)

So early days, but this simple supplement has made a positive difference. I just wanted to share this with you- so you can discuss with your urologist or doctor.

I am still going through my recovery process and of the three pillars of therapy, I have only looked at one, so this is really early stage but of course, I still hope one day to be completely free of prostatitis. I cannot pretend to be an expert in any of this, but I know more than I did when I first developed this problem and I know how difficult it was back then to find helpful information and that is why I wanted to try and share something of my experience. I hope it may help somebody to have a better idea where to look (with the help of a good doctor/urologist) for their own answers. But, if you have got this far, I am sorry to take such a long time to make my point. Conciseness and me do not seem to go together. My wife and last wife, do have an ability to switch off and on, while I talk so.. there is that..

You may feel like nobody understands you suffering in this way, especially if you are younger than 45 years old. Just please know that you are not alone and that lots of people have had and will have this condition but that urologists (and definitely not GP’s) are not all very well trained in this area. There are however very good doctors and urologists out there. Your mission is to find that doctor, for you; someody who

has experience in the area

wants to help you- Of course all doctors want to help- but in my experience, I have to say some more than others..

will listen as well as talk with you

you feel comfortable with.

But I would stress the first three points- beggars cant be choosers, afterall!

I hope one day prostatitis is a better understood and more easily treated condition. Until then, all we can do is try to help each other.

Wishing you health and happiness

All my best

Gary Mehmet

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