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misterbitches · 3 years

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Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

#history 4: close to you #history 4 #a thot #god my anxiety was thru the roof turns out i needed to eat

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amuseoffyre · 5 years

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October Prompts - 17th

Prompt - “The devil can cite scripture for his purpose”- William Shakespeare

Note: This one gets a bit naughtier later on :) It’s also set somewhere before the chapter where Crowley tries out his angel-mojo on Aziraphale.

Huddles of people clustered under umbrellas, pushing against the bleak, blustery winds like particularly stubborn mushrooms. Rain was battering down on all sides and the sky was so black it seemed more like night than the middle of the afternoon.

Traffic was moving slowly, almost grinding to a standstill, but inexplicably a dove-grey Bentley was slipping through the growling engines and growling drivers like a minnow through pond weed, somehow finding space to move where no one else did.

It swung across Shaftesbury avenue and up into the narrower streets of Soho, purring along to come to a halt outside a shop with a particular kind of reputation. The single occupant scrambled out, pulling up the hood of his parka – surprising attire for a man driving a Bentley – and hurrying towards the door of the shop.

The shop in question was infamous in the area, with erratic opening times, questionable content in the windows, and rumours of frisky customers frequently being entertained among the shelves by the owner of the shop himself.

The parka-clad man rattled on the door, before pushing his way in as if he owned the place.

Inside, Aziraphale wandered out from the back of the shop, stopping dead in astonishment at the sight of Crowley standing – again – in his shop. Yes, he had come in before, but this– that had been a rather exceptional occasion when he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“What are you doing here?”

Crowley snorted as he pushed down his hood and ruffled his hair into more kittenish disarray. “Some welcome, I call that.” He held out a box, which was marked with Chinese writing and leaking savoury steam. “I was in the area. Thought I’d bring lunch.”

Aziraphale opened and shut his mouth several times, trying to quantify the overwhelming tide of emotions and balance them with a rather more restrained expression of said emotions. “Oh,” he managed in an embarrassingly breathy voice. “My dear…”

And Crowley, damn the adorable bastard, smirked at him. “You busy?”

At once, Aziraphale snapped both fingers. Customers, who had not been particularly visible – or, in some cases, dressed – emerged from the labyrinth of shelves, suddenly very aware they had other places to be and oh, would you look at the time, don’t mind me, ‘scuse me sir.

“Not,” Aziraphale said happily, “in the least.” He motioned for Crowley to come through to the snug nook he kept at the back of his shop. He had called it his Den of Iniquity so many times that one of his regulars had made a beautifully-engraved plaque for him to hang over the doorway declaring it.

By the time he had rustled up some crockery, the angel had hung up his parka and made himself comfortable on Aziraphale’s couch. It was… well… Aziraphale had to admit that he felt a peculiar flutter under his ribs at the sight of his angel choosing to come, to bring him food, to sit in his place, on his couch, for no other reason than that he wanted to.

And when Crowley looked up at him and smiled, Aziraphale had the suspicion he was beaming like an utter fool.

“Do we need cutlery?” he said, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Nah.” Crowley held up a couple of slim paper packets. “Got chopsticks.” He patted the couch. “Come on! They’re getting cold!”

There was a restaurant the angel had always enjoyed in Chinatown. As far as Aziraphale was aware, they didn’t have a takeaway option, but by some small miracle, Crowley appeared to have done just that, deftly flipping his favourite dumplings onto a plate on the coffee table. When he pointed it out, the angel went pink to his ears.

“I just asked nicely,” he said, making a face.

Coming from anyone else, that might have sounded twee, but from the angel, it was probably nothing more than the truth.

“Well, I’m very grateful,” he said, plucking up one of the steaming dumplings with freshly-snapped chopsticks. He knocked his knee fondly against Crowley’s. “What’s the occasion?”

Crowley shrugged and said around a mouthful of dumpling. “Wanted to see you.”

Aziraphale paused mid-chew, then – with considerable effort – managed to swallow. Perhaps the angel didn’t realise the effect such words had on him. Or perhaps he did. That was the trouble with falling in love with a bright, shining minx of an angel. You never knew when he was going to bowl you over with his biting wit or whip the floor out from beneath you with such utter softness.

“You,” he informed Crowley, “are going to ruin me, you wonderful rascal.”

To his delight, Crowley blushed and beamed. “Shut up,” he said, picking up a dumpling and shoving it in Aziraphale’s mouth.

The food didn’t last long, each little pocket of dough stuffed and spiced to perfection, and by the last, they were fighting furiously over who got to have it.

“You should! You bought them!”

“For you!” Crowley insisted. “Anyway, I snuck three in the car on the way over, so I’ve had more.”

“And you are far skinnier than I, so you need all the meat you can get on your bones.”

The angel rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not how we work, physiologically. If we did, you’d be the size of a blue whale.”

“Which is precisely the principle on which I am arguing,” Aziraphale said, firmly pushing the last dumpling towards him. “I have already over-indulged sufficiently. Now, it’s your turn.”

Crowley glowered down at the dumpling, then picked it up between his chopsticks and squeezed. The damned thing split into two perfectly even halves. The angel gave the demon a smug grin. “There. We both win.”

“He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor.” Aziraphale said with playful awe as he still took one of the halves.

Crowley stared at him. “Did you just… cite Proverbs at me?”

“What can I say?” the demon said with a chuckle. “I’m a well-read fellow.”

Crowley shook his head with a sigh. “Honestly, I’m amazed you’ve last as long as you have! You know what reading holy books does to you! My one made you look like you’d blasted yourself in the face with a flame-thrower, for Heaven’s sake!”

Aziraphale waved his words away. “It’s all a matter of reasonable precaution,” he said. “I have a welding visor now, so it oughtn’t be a problem anymore.”

“Anymore,” Crowley echoed. “Damn it, Aziraphale!”

The demon sniffed. “You think I’m not going to ensure I know every counter-argument in the book? I like to be prepared for the gallant spreaders of the Good Word when they come knocking, trying to save this poor, humble purveyor of filth and unashamed sodomite.” He beamed in fond recollection. “It’s such a pleasure watching their brains implode with confusion when I turn their weapons against them.”

“I know I should be shocked, and yet…” Crowley said with a wry smile. He set down his chopsticks and stretched. “You mind if I hang around until the weather eases off a bit? Traffic’s a bloody nightmare.”

Aziraphale gaped at him. “Why the Heaven would I mind?”

“Well…” Crowley shrugged. “You might want to let customers in. Do good business. You know. Professional shoppy things.”

Aziraphale set down his own chopsticks. “Darling,” he purred, leaning closer, crowding the angel against the arm of the couch, “if there’s one benefit of being a small business owner, it’s that I can do whatever the fuck I like.”

Crowley caught Aziraphale’s face squarely in his palm as the demon tried to steal a kiss, pushing him back with a laugh. “I don’t think the ‘being a small business owner’ is your real reason, is it?” He swung to his feet, turning around on the spot and peering about. “Is all of it… you know…”

“What?” Aziraphale widened his eyes comically, clutching his heart like an affronted Victorian widow and stage-whispered, “Pornography?”

The angel put out his tongue. “Yes, you dirty bugger.”

Aziraphale laughed. “Not all of it, but a substantial amount.” He shrugged. “Easiest of the sins of temptation, sins of the flesh. I don’t even have to do anything. The humans have imagination enough. A little glimpse and some of them are an inferno without any effort on my part.”

“And has the domino effect of jealousy, anger, wrath and everything else…” Crowley observed, wandering back through towards the main body of the shop. “They never realised how much worse – or better from their point of view, I s’pose – you could’ve been if you wanted.”

Wiping his hands fastidiously on his handkerchief, Aziraphale followed him. “Why would I put in any more effort than necessary for them? They are no more my friends than Heaven.”

Crowley shot him a quick smile. “Well, I’m glad you weren’t as bad as you could’ve been. I don’t think I’d’ve liked you half as much.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Aziraphale said. “I’m a very likeable fellow.”

“Eh. You have your moments.”

Aziraphale gave a mortally embarrassing squeak of indignation. “Angel!”

Crowley grinned, meandering onwards through the shelves, peering at them. Occasionally, he pulled out a book, flicking through it. Some of the illustrated ones made his ears turn a brighter shade of pink and he hastily put them back.

“D’you ever want that?” he asked, without turning.

“That?” Aziraphale inquired, settling in one of the armchairs beneath the domed roof to watch him explore.

“You know…” Crowley waved an inarticulate hand. “The… stuff. Squishy stuff. With… parts.”

“Oh! Sex? You mean sex?”

“Mm.” Crowley’s ears were redder than his hair.

What an odd question. “You know I’ve had plenty of it, my dear, or had you forgotten?”

The angel cleared his throat. “No. I mean– with me.”

It was as if a pin had pricked a hole in Aziraphale’s brain and all his words were trickling out like sand and slipping between his fingers as he desperately tried to catch them. He made a sound, though he was fairly sure it wasn’t a real word in any language he could remember.

Honey eyes met his and Crowley’s face flamed even further. “Ah.”

“I– er–” Aziraphale cleared his throat. “I can’t say I haven’t wondered…” He recognised the twitch in Crowley’s cheek, one that foretold of a worried frown and hastily added, “Though it’s not a necessity. I rather like kissing you and holding you. Anything else is a human incidental.”

“Like dumplings?”

Like… well, any of Aziraphale’s indulgences really. Yes, he could do without them, but he really did rather enjoy his little pleasures. But as far as he was aware, Crowley had never been carnally intimate with anyone and had never shown any desire to either. And if Crowley was not of that persuasion, then Aziraphale was quite happy to accommodate whatever wishes he did or didn’t have. The darling creature deserved every happiness, even if it meant Aziraphale did not get to indulge in his every secret little fantasy.

A cough dragged him out of his whirling thoughts.

“Can’t say you haven’t wondered, eh?”

Aziraphale peered around. Crowley had wandered into another one of the side nooks and, from the cant of his head, was studying something. But there was nothing of especial interest in there, really, except…

Oh Lord. Except a certain statue he had discreetly tucked away in there the night the angel had come to his shop for the first time.

He hurried over. “Darling, this isn’t what it looks like…”

Crowley snorted. “Uh huh.” He pointed at the statues of the two angels. “So what is it?”

“Um.” Aziraphale fidgeted. He had bought it on a whim in the early 19th century, for no other reason than to utterly indulge a particular daydream. Especially since one of the angels had black wings. The other cream and gold. They were both rather emphatically naked. “I believe the description was Evil triumphing over Good.”

“Mm. Hm.” Crowley sounded like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “And they’re doing… what exactly?”

“Wrestling?” Aziraphale said with false optimism, risking a glance at the angel’s pink face.

Crowley met his eyes. “Wrestling? Really? Shop like this and that is wrestling?”

Aziraphale tugged at the ends of his waistcoat self-consciously. “I thought it was rather handsome!”

“Bit cliché, though,” Crowley pointed out. “Having black wings doesn’t make anyone evil.” His eyes were definitely glinting now. “Unless you were… thinking of someone else when you bought it.”

The demon pursed his lips up and hmpfed emphatically. “You know very well that I was,” he grumbled. “Stop being such a terrible tease.”

At once, he had a laughing angel in his arms and Crowley kissed him firmly. “You like it.”

Aziraphale snaked his arms around the angel’s waist. “I much prefer when you’re the one blushing and flustered,” he admitted, nuzzling the tip of Crowley’s nose. “It’s hardly any good to anyone if a demon gets embarrassed!”

“I didn’t make you embarrassed,” Crowley said, grinning. “You got embarrassed yourself.” He widened his eyes. “Am I your conscience?”

Aziraphale swatted him on the backside. “Hardly! I don’t have one of those!” He considered the angel in his arms. “And by my count, you have had me flustered several times in the past half hour. I believe it’s time to even the score, don’t you?”

“What are you going to do?” Crowley said, eyes dancing. “Show me your books? That doesn’t count. The books are doing all the work.”

Aziraphale studied him then smiled a serpent’s smile. “I’m going to give you what you deserve, angel,” he murmured, slipping his hands down to rest innocently at the base of Crowley’s back. “I am going to sing your praises.”

“Oh God…” Crowley tried too late to back out of the circle of Aziraphale’s arms. “Don’t! Don’t you bloody dare!”

“Shall I talk of bathing in the sweet honey pools of your eyes?” Aziraphale said gleefully. “Or the sunset fire of your hair?”

“Please don’t!” Crowley pushed against his chest, half-laughing. “Not all that rubbish! It sounds like Solomon’s mushy guff! Ooh, you’re a plum tree, I wanna grab your plums!”

“Oho!” Aziraphale spun him around, grinning from ear to eat. “You like ancient filth, do you? Let me tell you, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. .”

“Aziraphale!” Crowley wailed, hiding his face in the demon’s shoulder. “Goats?! For Heaven’s sake! Stop embarrassing yourself!”

“I don’t feel embarrassed,” Aziraphale replied cheerfully. “In fact, isn’t this rather good? It’s Biblical after all! Must be good! You’re just not enjoying it right, you silly angel.”

“No!” Crowley kicked at his shins, laughing helplessly. “No, it’s not! It’s awful!”

Aziraphale shook his head. “Ah, yes, but there’s where you’re wrong because many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”

“UGH!” Crowley was red as a pillar box, eye-rolling and mugging and pounding his fists against Aziraphale’s chest. “Do you even believe a word of that soppy rubbish?”

Aziraphale blinked at him in surprise. “Of course I do,” he said. “When it’s about you.”

Crowley went very, very still in his arms, then raised those sweet honey eyes to his face. It was a blush of a deeper kind now, not flustered per se, but strong and blooming and utterly delicious framing the look of awed wonder on Crowley’s face. His lips were parted and his fingers uncurled from fists to tug at Aziraphale’s waistcoat. “Really?”

In answer, Aziraphale drew him closer and kissed him. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t kissed before, but this felt different, somehow, a barrier crossed, an understanding reached, and all at once, Crowley was electricity in his arms, his fingers in Aziraphale’s hair, plastered against him, stealing the breath from his lips.

Lord, Aziraphale’s world was turning into an inferno centred on the living flame that was his angel and Crowley had to be utterly insensible if he wasn’t aware of the effect he was having on Aziraphale’s human shape.

And oh, it was utterly foolish and selfish, but Aziraphale couldn’t help canting his hips forward. Just a little pressure. Just enough. A small indulgence to see him through the nights.

And Crowley… Crowley noticed.

They broke apart, staring at each other, breathing hard.

“Forgive me, love,” Aziraphale said, drawing back and clearing his throat. “A minor inconvenience.”

The angel tilted his head, studying him, then stepped forward, crowding Aziraphale back against the bookshelves. “Can I see?”

At once, Aziraphale’s reaped words were scattered again. Crowley had the uncanny knack of winnowing them away. “I– excuse me?”

Crowley’s face was scarlet, but he nodded downwards. “Can I see?”

A dozen thoughts clamoured for priority and one rose triumphant. “Why?”

The angel gave him a small smile. “Because no one ever reacted like that for me. I’ve…” He laughed, self-consciously running his fingers through his hair. “You did that, because of me, yeah?”

Aziraphale shook his head. “I didn’t do anything,” he managed, fumbling with his belt. “You did this, my love.” It was strange to feel timid, not after so many years of happy debauchery, but this was different. This was Crowley being his usual curious self. “Don’t laugh.”

Crowley peered down, biting his lip and rosy, as Aziraphale undid his trousers and released his cock, praying to Christ, it would do anything embarrassing like flag under the attention and droop all over again. Not likely, given how much the damn thing was aching for attention and Crowley’s eyes were good enough.

Though, it turned out, his hand was even better.

So much better, in fact, that Aziraphale… rather spontaneously celebrated.

“Urk!” Aziraphale croaked.

“Oh!” Crowley let go at once, shaking the mess off his hand. “That… is that it? That’s what everyone makes all the fuss about?”

Aziraphale idly considered cracking open the floor beneath himself and dropping through it. His face was burning as hot as Hell already. Maybe they needed a new furnace. “Ah… um… well… um…” He cleared his throat. “N-no. Not… um…it usually… longer. Lasts longer.”

The angel stared at him. “You’re blushing!” The smile that lit his face was the most heavenly and diabolic thing Aziraphale had ever seen. “That wasn’t meant to happen, was it? You didn’t make– that was– oh Lord!” He dissolved into helpless laughter. “You’re not meant to do it like that, are you?”

Aziraphale pouted at him. “Six thousand years I’d been waiting for that!” He groped for his handkerchief, mopping at the spatter on his waistcoat and trousers. “And look at the mess you made!”

The angel was actually laughing, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. “You! Aziraphale! The one who’ll give anything a go! Didn’t even last ten seconds with an angel!”

“I beg your pardon!” Aziraphale exclaimed indignantly. “Not just an angel! Only you!”

Crowley shoved his hands out of the way and pinned him happily up against the bookshelves again and kissed the pout off his lips. He lifted his still-damp hand and considered it, then offered it to Aziraphale. “Clean me up?”

The demon stifled a small, pitiable moan, his cock already twitching. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? This is all part of the ineffable plan. This is how you–”

Crowley shut him up by shoving a cum-smeared finger in his mouth. “Oh, shush,” he said, blooming like a sunrise again as Aziraphale sucked and licked at his finger. The demon fixed his eyes on Crowley’s, catching his wrist, then set to work cleaning every inch of his hand.

The angel was squirming in his arms by the time he finished licking between each finger and finally kissed the middle of his palm.

“There,” he said smugly. “All clean.”

“For now,” Crowley agreed, then leaned a little closer, the front of his jeans rubbing against an extraordinarily enthusiastic piece of flesh that had reawoken between them. His lips skimmed Aziraphale’s and his voice was a wicked whisper, “Maybe next time we’ll get to ten seconds, yeah?”

Despite his best intentions, Aziraphale’s hips gave a twitch at the thought and the breath – and groan of embarrassment – caught in his throat.

Crowley peered down between them. “Again?” he said, the smile back in his voice. “For Heaven’s sake, Aziraphale!”

“Gnnn!” Aziraphale groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Gentle fingertips brushed his wrists and Crowley prised his hands apart. He was luminous, eyes shining and warm, and Aziraphale’s mortification fell away. “I think we can excuse you,” he said, slipping his arms back around Aziraphale’s shoulders. “I mean, you’ve been waiting a while.”

“I’m sorry.” Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley’s middle. “I know you… don’t.”

“Not one of those, no,” Crowley agreed, nuzzling the tip of his nose. “But we can work things out that we both enjoy.” He smiled into a kiss. “Wouldn’t even mind doing that for you sometimes, if you can… calm it down a little bit.”

Aziraphale laughed helplessly. “It might take some practise.”

The angel curled his fingers into Aziraphale’s hair happily. “We have time.”

#fic: inverse omens #october prompts #demon aziraphale #angel crowley #reverse omens

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mastrrt · 6 years

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The Tigress Dilemma *fanfiction*

Usually, fanfic writers (such as I) have a hard time depicting complex characters such as Tigress, ergo this lack of this understanding about our characters can lead us to defile their original personalities and characteristics. I'm pretty sure most, if not, all of us are victims to the Tigress Dilemma, and this problem can only be resolved once Dreamworks has finished Tigress's arc. The Tigress Dilemma is basically what I mentioned above. We misinterpret Tigress and that could lead us to writing imposters instead. Now I have seen many fanfics, and all of them vary in the extent of how terrible their Tigress imposter is. I would say that for my fanfics, my Tigress imposter is pretty far off from the original character, but I feel I am getting there... it's a very slow progress, but every increment of time is making me better as a writer. Anywho, I'll be addressing some Tigress Imposter stereotypes. These stereotypes are the ones we want to avoid as much as possible. And if we do so, we can get closer to the original Tigress. Now, disclaimer, I am not here to tarnish the pride of any of you fanfic writers. I'm just here to point out my opinions and hopefully my opinions can do more good than harm. Also, to bring this blog a more positive vibe, I will be writing some Tigress stereotypes that we should all follow. But that'll be on the next post. 1. The 'Punk Girl School Bully' Type of Tigress. (LoA Tigress) Sleeves are for wimps... fat muscles... I got huge front teeth... i'll put your head on the toilet... pig anatomy on the facial region... you punk!... ILLL BEAT YOUUU UP!... girl that looks like a man... Those lines are all inside the ambit of any typical Buff School Girl Bully. And yeah, these types of people aren't the most likeable. Mainly because of their terrible ego and pride, their unmanaged temper, their constant screaming, and the fact that they bully. And these types of characters usually act upon their anger, and these types of characters are usually defeated by their own caprices. Now a lot of times, people usually confuse 'Punk Girl School Bully' as Tigress's characteristics.

For example, a lot of fanfictions tend to write this: Tigress was clouded with anger. How dare this cocky prick make fun of her name like that? She charged at him, trying to land a double fist strike on her belly, but it has seemed that her muscles were so angry that she suddenly turned into an amateur fighter and totally missed the cocky mite's stomache. Now she was even angrier. She gave a frustrated yell and pounced at the prick, driving her feet into a powerful tornado kick, but the man has sidestepped and she was too angry to use that momentum to execute another kick upon landing. Oh she was so so SO angry that everything turned red. Even though the man was merely a stranger, his smart remarks was enough to somehow make Tigress want to tamper him, as if her anger was derived from personal matter. Oh yes, Tigress was so weak that her peace has succumbed so easily to something as superficial as an empty insult. It isn't like she's a warrior who learned integrity, who lived by virtues and proverbs, and learned to swallow her pride the hard way. Nope. She was just the average hot head. "You! You idiot!" She yelled, driving her fist into arbitrary turns and twist with the speed of a toddler's fist in a fit of frenzy. And yet, after delivering such 'efficient' attacks, the man had avoided her punches the Muhammad Ali way. What's next? The rope-a-dope? Is that how weak Tigress became because of her anger? Oh, and since she's sooo angry, she also became majorly stupid! Since she's losing, she might as well become more desperate to win and because of this, she kinda lost 9/10 of her damn brain. It isn't like she had experienced worst before. It isn't like she's been in a tower surrounded by hundreds of adversaries, outmatched, outgunned, out everything, and still managed to escape through a genius idea to catapult her and her Enterprise out the flaming tower THROUGH the toppling flaming tower.

Look, Tigress can be hot head, but she doesn't allow it to manifest in a way that hampers her during battle. She's a warrior who for sure learned patience. Yes, she might have let herself succumb to her anger during the first movie (by trying to fight Tai Lung despite her master's efforts to stop her) but do understand that it was because of that cursed snow leopard that her father was just outright terrible to her, and 20 years of desperation and overwhelming commitment to kung fu led her to think that defeating Tai Lung is the key to Shifu's heart. Watch the Second movie through and through, with the eyes of a scrutenizing critic. If she is angry, it is usually to appear intimidating or lethal. It's a great strategy, escpecially now that her opponents would surely hold back once they hear the low baritone of her growl. But never, never, never, never, I assure you, did she appear angry and let that rage make her a haphazard, stupid, mess.

Also, fanfic writers tend to also write this: Tigress crossed her arms and growled. Po was so annoying! He wouldn't stop babbling about his new dumpling recipe. If he says 'broccoli broth' one more time, she is sure her dormant side would burst. "SHUT UP PO! YOU ARE AN IDIOT! YOU ARE SO CHILDISH! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE THE DRAGON WARRIOR!" And then, Po cried and ran away from the kitchen. The rest of the five gave her a look that could compare to the menacing glare of a thousand men, and they all left her to find the weeping Po. She sneered, she didn't need them anyways. She didn't have a family. And they were no friends of hers.

Tigress is not like this! She values her friends, and she talks to them like friends. Do no potray her the LoA way, because she's not always grumpy... and she is, by chance, grumpy, it's mostly for a reason. When the other five are irritated or even disgusted of Po, you can see that only Tigress smiles. And when she is in an argument, she usually deliver herself in a calm and threatening. Yeah, calm and threatening can be together. Tigress works as a paradox. I think the problem here is that people mistake seriousness and grumpiness as neigh synonyms. DON'T mistake those two different words with the same definition. Tigress is serious, but rarely grumpy in the way LoA/ fancfictions potrays her (just compare KFP 2 Tigress to LoA Tigress (there's a big difference I tell you that (mostly because she doesn't haphazardly turn into a big bish (is this even grammatically correct?))))

2. The Morally Deficient Tigress. I hate you!... you've always been terrible to me Shifu. So I hate you too!... you guys are not my family!... i have no family!... brat times twenty... your spoon is stupid... everyone is stupid... I don't wanna do this anymore... i'll turn evil in six seconds if you don't assuage my ego... cold hearted... insults everywhere... long sullen silences followed by mean comments followed by even more long sullen silences... angst angst angst for no reason... teenage i-have-20-pounds-of-eyeliner-under-my-eyes prototype. this type of imposter Tigress is probably one of the worst forms of Tigress out there. You cannot just ignore that she has been raised by two kung fu masters, one has morals that are so polished and perfect, and the other one with flaws but regardless still wiser than most. She's also follows a regimented schedule of supreme discipline throughout the course of her twenty-eight years, so surely she has been taught hardwork, patience, determination and other virtues that any average olympian athletes would typically have. Despite being called cold-hearted, stoic, perhaps even mean, do remember that she is also a HERO. With a hero's heart and the strength of a hero's mind. You can not simply ignore that she's a good person who had saved, quite possibly, thousands of lives, expecting nothing in return except the heart of her father and a place to reside. Do not mistake badassery with idiocy. Do not make her morally deficient like she's a little child with the mindset of a brat on a bad day.

Here's some examples of this nightmare: "Why do you keep these stuff? You're so childish, you don't deserve to be the Dragon Warrior!" Tigress looked around his loft, threatened by the action figures and the posters of the masters that adorned it.

Po frowned, "But... but... items like these have very big value to me Tigress. Especially my action figures, I cherish them because it's a large fragment of my childhood memories!"

Tigress did not understand. Of course she did not, not only is she whimsy, grumpy, angry and stupid, she also lacks understanding and lessons that can usually be self-taught at the age of twenty. She acts like a little child and that's all her morality is limited to. "No! They're wooden things with no value whatsoever. Stop being a fanboy. Stop being yourself! I can't support you! You idiot."

And she left the room with grandeur ---Sharpei Style with the hint of swagger. Five days later... "It's all your fault why we're here Po! All your fault. It isn't like you made a wonderful plan and I kinda destroyed it after this cocky douche made me angry and I decided to fight him and ditch your plan. And since my dignity got the best of me, it isn't like I'm blaming you 100% on our unfortunate demise when I know 200% that i'm to blame." Po tried to speak, but Tigress continued, "Ya'll should have listened to me! Me me me me! Me me me me!" The end!

Okay okay, it's a little too exaggerated, but you get the point right? Tigress doesn't act like this. She is kind and nice, she's truly supportive even with her doubts, and she loves and values her friends, albeit these traits are not exposed because it's overshadowed by her stoic demeanor. Whatever... sometimes light filters through her facade and you can see her vulnerabilities.

3. The Profesional Becomes the Biggest Amateur. Gets defeated by a few alligators who could barely fight... can't get unstuck from a rope THAT ISNT EVEN KNOTTED NOR THICK ENOUGH TO CARRY TWO POUNDS... can't get out a sticky situation even though she has been through worse... pathetic tiger... no longer has super strength that she has been gifted with. Now I'm just a thread's breadth away before typing a full fledge rant. Yes! I get it. She has been defeated by people who Po can defeat. She has been defeated by Tai lung and Po was able to defeat Tai Lung. But that was because Po was in a special situation, and it was truly only Po who could defeat Tai Lung (I'll adress this in a new post.) Have ya'll ever of this rule, in both film making and book writing, that authors must refrain from degrading everyone's intelligence so that a single character can appear in the caliber of a genius? Basically, what I'm saying is that you cannot make the five (escape Tigress) leagues weaker than their original selves just for the sake of making Po or your main OCs appear stronger. One, that's a terrible illusion that even a blind man can see through. And two, that's just disrespectful for a The Five. Not only are the five overshadowed, but ya'll also heavily disregarded the fact that they are warriors that did a lot. You're forgetting that Tigress can do this

Do not forget that she is the person who can do so much more. If you want a story where Tigress becomes a damsel in distress, and Po is the one to save her, DO NOT get her kidnapped by five wolves. Or ten. Or even twenty. Because this tiger can handle of them easy. Make sure she is defeated by a whole fudging army, or a bunch of hooded warriors who are thousands of years old and are as good as Shifu in kung fu. Make sure her defeat is reasonable and respects what she can do. KNOW what she can do, so that you learn her limits. Give her a challenge, give her a run for her money. Don't make her pathetic just because you want someone else to seem not pathetic. Us fan fic writers say that Tigress is hardcore. Awesome. Badarse. So maybe we should write her that way. Some fan fics I read write that Tigress got defeated because she was hungry or tired and couldn't fight against a few adversaries. I roll me eyes. Bro! You cannot make hunger the reason why she's defeated😂 have you seen what she ate during the first KFP movie? Her meals consists of tea and a small, chewy block of tofu. Please. She had trained her body and mind to resist pain in a way that wouldn't affect her during battle. And don't go destroying her stamina either. If she can go the whole night just battling a bunch of wolves, without even so much as passing out then pulease, don't make tiredness as an excuse. But there are some exceptions though. Like maybe she got tired because she drained her chi. Then that's understandable. So much work.

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