#how to fix a broken relationship with your girlfriend
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wildfiig · 8 days ago
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┆ trying to end being fwb with rafe ✶
.ᐟ cw: angst! mentions of having had sex before. fwb. the usual mention of rafe + ward strained relationship. mentions of rafe being selfish + insecure. .ᐟ notes: one day i'll write a full fic with actual smut that isn't a little short...
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you were pulling your jeans on when he finally sat up. pillow lines streaked across his cheek, his hair all bent and wrong from sleep, or sex, or both. he looked at you like he always did. like you were some kind of answer to a question he didn’t know how to ask.
you didn’t look back.
“so that’s it?” he said, voice still rough from the night.
you tugged your shirt over your head, didn’t bother fixing your hair. “yeah.”
he swung his legs over the side of the bed, elbows digging into his knees, hands clasped together like he was praying. or like he was trying not to break something.
“you’re not even gonna pretend you’re sad about it?” he asked, and the laugh that came after didn’t sound like him. too sharp. too small.
you turned, finally. leaned against the dresser and crossed your arms. “what do you want me to say, rafe? that i’m gonna miss your fingers inside me? that i’m gonna cry into my pillow because we won’t be fucking in secret anymore?”
he blinked like he didn’t recognize you. like you’d gutted him clean.
“you don’t mean that.”
you shrugged. “i don’t know, maybe i do. maybe i’m just tired of being the thing you use when you’re bored or drunk or angry at your dad.”
he stood, too fast, and the way his jaw clenched made your heart stutter, just once. he wasn’t angry. not really. just unraveling.
“is that really what you think this is?”
“i know what this is,” you snapped. “we sleep together, you leave. sometimes you stay. sometimes you say shit that almost sounds like you care. but you don’t. not really.”
rafe stepped closer. too close. his hand ghosted over your hip like he wasn’t sure if he was still allowed to touch you. “i do care,” he said, and his voice cracked like he hated himself for it.
you looked up at him and wished you were the kind of girl who could pretend. who could say sorry with a smile and let him back in again, just to feel something. but you weren’t.
“you’re selfish, rafe.” your voice was ice. “you take and take and take and you only show up when you think i’m about to disappear.”
he flinched, barely, but it was enough.
“i’m not gonna wait around for you to figure your shit out. this thing between us? it’s done.”
the silence that followed was ugly and too full. he stared at you like he wanted to shake you. or kiss you. or both.
you turned away, started toward the door.
“wait.”
you stopped, hand on the knob.
he didn’t move. he just looked at you with something broken in his face, like he was ten years old again, and somebody had just told him no for the first time.
“would you be my girlfriend?”
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gremlingottoosilly · 6 months ago
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Imagine another soldiers GF is visiting him and Konig sees her and is like "My GF now" what is he gonna do? Challenge the 7 ft. Tall killing machine?
Visiting Paul wasn't the sanest thing you did - and not the proudest of your moments, too. Your relationships started to crack a while ago, not helped by the rumors his squad buddies are spreading whenever you're in the earshot or Facetiming him. You just wanted to give him a visit, maybe woo him over with some homemade goods, and maybe be a normal boyfriend and girlfriend again. Maybe. You didn't expect his colonel to give you such a scolding. "You know that poisoning the troops is a war crime, ja?" You're terrified. His colonel is fucking huge, has a creepy name - seriously, what did he do to be named King instead of Potato or a Shrimp - and has that weird boyishly rough voice that lools you into the sense of security, only for it to be broken the second he laughs, tearing into the dumb box filled with dumb cookies you made for Paul and some of his squadmates. You had friends at his station, you thought you could just get in without the bureaucracy bullshit - only closest family members are allowed here, and you are quite certain that your boyfriend won't wife you up anytime soon. "It's not poison, s...sir" "I look like a sir to you, Maus? Call me colonel" You want to answer that he looks like a fucking nightmare crawling out of your bad dreams, but you bite your tongue. Don't even resist as Konig gets his huge gloved hands into the box, slowly taking one of the cookies. You whimper as he snaps the thing in half - hours of hard work, you can already see them being trashed away all because Paul didn't respond to your calls and didn't pick them up immediately and because he didn't mention his colonel is going to be on the base and- Konig gets one of your cookies under his hood, the sounds of munching like music to your ears - an angel's horn, maybe, the ones that play during the apocalypse. You wait patiently to be prosecuted for your crimes - the ones you aren't quite sure you even committed, to be honest. "You'll do. Horangi will show you to my quarters." You think you're hearing things. Maybe, you somehow managed to hit your head on the way to the colonel's office, and now you're hallucinating the entire encounter? The colonel stands up - he is huge, god, too fucking tall to even be alive, you think - and drops a heavy hand on your shoulder, patting you almost awkwardly. You hate the way he looks at you right now - almost soft, almost gentle, his hand squeezes your skin in a way that is way more loving than your boyfriend ever did before, and you feel pathetic for leaning into the touch, if only for a second. You didn't know that Konig got his eye on you even before you went to the base. He knows a lot about his soldiers, and your sorry fuck of a boyfriend clearly didn't deserve a sweet little thing like you - for fucks's sake, you literally just brought homemade cookies to the military base; how much more of an angel you can be. He also knew that you're not quite satisfied with the relationships if he can judge by how much bitching Paul is letting out during his free time. Konig also knows that if he gets you to marry him as soon as possible, sooner he could put you in his house and make you bake him cookies every day of his retirement - that doesn't seem like such a bad opportunity now, not if he would have a pretty housewife attached to his hip. And if you don't really want to be with him, well... Nothing that a few weeks of extensive home training couldn't fix.
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kiwriteswords · 1 month ago
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Why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words [Aaron Hotchner x Best Friend!Reader]
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Masterlist|| Ao3||Word Count: 5k|| AN: This is inspired by the song You are in love by Taylor Swift...legit...my favorite piece I've written <3 Tags/Warnings: female reader, established relationship, sexual themes, mdni, no smut, but mentions of sex, yearning!Hotch, in love!hotch, best friends, Intimacy, this is INTIMATE, Hotch's POV, Sad!Hotch, Jack Hotchner is mentioned, Haley Hotchner is mentioned, 5+1, alcohol tw, ROMANCE IS NOT DEAD PEOPLE, Reader cannot cook to save her life, free-spirit!reader, reader struggles to open up sometimes Summary: 5 Times Aaron Hotchner realizes you're his best friend + 1 time he tells you.
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I. 
The bullpen had long since emptied.
Desks abandoned, lights dimmed. The hum of the vending machines below, the faint buzz of the overhead fluorescents—
Those were the only sounds keeping him company now.
Aaron sat in his office, perched over files like they held secrets no one else could see. The rest of the team had told him to go home, told him the case was done. Closed. Wrapped neatly in bureaucratic red tape.
But something still gnawed at him.
Something still didn’t sit right. He didn’t often get this feeling, but when he had an itch, he just had to scratch it.
Obsessively, almost. 
He rubbed at his temple, willing the creeping headache to back off. His eyes burned from staring too long at reports that no longer blurred together but formed patterns he wasn’t convinced were coincidence.
Rossi had chuckled earlier, slapping a heavy hand on his shoulder, "You're overtired, Aaron. Let it go."
Morgan had shot him a grin, all charm and ease, "Man, you're gonna drive yourself crazy if you keep picking this apart."
Emily, exasperated but fond, had tossed over her shoulder as she left, "Get some sleep, Hotch. You’ve earned it."
He almost believed them. 
Almost.
Until you walked in. Quiet, unassuming—
But so damn steady.
You didn't say much at first. Just nudged open the door with your hip, balancing an entire pot of coffee like it was some peace offering. 
Like you already knew he wouldn’t leave. 
Knew he wouldn’t rest until whatever weight clung to his shoulders shook free.
“I figured,” you said simply, setting the pot down beside his untouched cup. “If you’re going to obsess over this all night, you’ll need caffeine.” Settling in across from him, still in your clothes from the jet. Your blouse slightly wrinkled, “And company.” You smiled
He couldn’t help the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. You always knew exactly how to read him—
Without making him feel like a project. 
Like something broken that needed fixing.
You didn’t ask questions or try to talk him down. Instead, you grabbed one of the files strewn across his desk, slid into the chair across from him, and got to work.
He watched for a second longer than he should’ve. The way you tucked your hair behind your ear absentmindedly, the soft furrow in your brow as you read, lips parting just slightly when something caught your attention. There was no complaint, no impatience—
Just that quiet, unwavering presence you always seemed to bring.
Time blurred. Reports shuffled between you both, punctuated by the occasional sip of coffee and the rustle of paper. Midnight came and went.
And still, you stayed.
Eventually, Hotch leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose. His gaze drifted back to you. You looked up then, catching him mid-thought, eyes curious.
“What’s with the funny look?” you asked lightly, a small smile playing at your lips.
He swallowed.
Shook his head, “Nothing,” he said softly, almost too quickly.
But the truth sat heavy in his chest, undeniable.
Because somewhere between the case files, the stale coffee, and the quiet understanding you offered without asking for anything in return—
It hit him.
You were his best friend.
Not just his partner, not just his girlfriend. 
His person.
The one who stayed. Who understood. Who saw every sharp edge, every obsessive tendency, and chose to be here anyway.
He wondered briefly if it showed on his face—
If you could see how the realization cracked something open in him.
But you just smiled again, tilting your head, and went back to the file without pressing.
That was another reason why.
He exhaled, forcing his eyes back down to the paperwork, but his focus was already elsewhere.
"You're my best friend."
He didn’t say it aloud.
Not yet. 
But the thought lingered—
Settled somewhere deep, where it would stay warm until he was ready.
II.
Saturday mornings had never looked quite like this.
Aaron stood leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, coffee cup in hand, as he watched you work. Or—more accurately—watched you try not to set his kitchen on fire.
You’d insisted. Insisted that after the week they’d all had, you’d cook breakfast. 
Something nice, you promised.
He hadn’t reminded you of that conversation months ago, where you admitted with no shame whatsoever that cooking wasn’t exactly your strength.
You were nothing if not determined.
And now, as he watched from a safe distance, Aaron wondered if it was possible to burn bacon and undercook it at the same time.
The smell of something acrid mixed with the faint scent of coffee as you plated… well, whatever attempt had survived the pan. Eggs scrambled into something that resembled the theme of a Dr. Suess novel. Bacon blackened on the ends, yet suspiciously soft in the middle. And the toast—charred just enough to set off the smoke alarm if you weren’t careful.
Jack, ever the polite little man, sat at the table with his fork poised, eyeing the plate in front of him with the same caution he reserved for vegetables.
You, for your part, plopped down beside him, trying valiantly to act like the mess wasn’t as bad as it looked.
Aaron bit the inside of his cheek, lips twitching, fighting back the laugh threatening to bubble out of him.
You poked at your eggs, then braved a bite—
Only to grimace so subtly he almost missed it.
Jack glanced between you both, unsure whether to risk saying anything.
The silence stretched—
Until you finally gave up, setting your fork down dramatically with a sigh.
“I think I’ve just committed a crime against breakfast,” you muttered, looking at your plate like it personally offended you.
You glanced over at Aaron, catching the barely-contained amusement in his eyes.
“I like it better when you cook anyway,” you added, soft but sweet, as if it were some confession.
That did it.
The laugh escaped before he could stop it. A real, genuine, rare laugh—
Deep, warm, and unguarded. 
He hadn’t even realized how tight his chest felt until it loosened.
Jack blinked at him, then giggled too, relief flashing across his face.
“We should’ve had ice cream,” Jack piped up, earnest as ever. “For breakfast.”
Without missing a beat, you nodded, “You know what, you’re right. We should’ve.”
Aaron shook his head, still smiling, still trying to school his face into something more neutral but failing miserably.
You reached over, ruffling Jack’s hair as he beamed at you, already forgetting about the eggs.
And there it was again—
That look. 
That tightening in his throat. 
That weight in his chest.
He’d known for a long time now that he loved you. That much had settled quietly between you both, something unshakable and steady.
But sitting here, watching you laugh with Jack, watching you fold so seamlessly into the spaces of his life—the messy, imperfect spaces—hit differently. 
Hit harder.
It wasn’t just love.
It wasn’t just partnership.
It was the way you’d become part of his family without ever asking him to be anything other than himself.
It was the way you burned toast and still made Saturday mornings feel lighter.
The way you looked at Jack like he was yours too.
The way you looked at him like all of this—the chaos, the quiet, the sharp edges—was enough.
"You’re my best friend."
The thought lodged somewhere deep, solid and true.
You caught him staring again, gave him a quizzical look, eyebrows raised.
“What?” you asked, playful. “That bad, huh?”
He shook his head, still smiling, voice soft,  “No. Not bad at all.”
You didn’t press. Just gave him one of those grins that could unravel anyone if they let it.
Aaron glanced at the mess of plates, the laughter still hanging in the air, and decided he didn’t care if breakfast had been a disaster.
He had everything he needed right here.
III.
The case had wrapped, mercifully.
Suspect caught. Papers signed. Local PD…satisfied. As satisfied as they can be.
What should’ve been a relief, though, left Aaron gritting his teeth as he loaded into the car.
The jet was down for maintenance.
A mechanical issue, they'd said.
Nothing serious—
But serious enough to leave the team stranded with no choice but to drive back.
Hours on the open road, split between borrowed cars, all scattered in twos.
Rossi had made a crack about how it was probably some cosmic sign they all needed to "slow down and enjoy the journey."
Aaron didn’t find that amusing.
The idea of spending hours locked in a car didn’t exactly relax him. He liked efficiency. Control. Time maximized, not wasted. He would’ve preferred the jet.
But as it turned out, the universe had one mercy left:
You were the one riding with him.
Something about lovebirds sticking together, Derek encouraged. 
At first, the quiet settled easily—
Your presence something familiar and grounding, the way it always was. He focused on the road, tuning into the faint hum of classic rock spilling from the speakers. Something he'd put on more out of habit than anything else.
Five minutes in, he noticed.
The soft, off-key hum coming from the passenger seat.
He flicked his eyes over briefly.
You were singing—
Badly.
And you weren’t trying to hide it, either.
So unapologetically you. The you he loved. 
Adored.
The corners of his mouth threatened to tug upwards.
This wasn’t your kind of music. He knew that. But you’d asked once what he listened to on long drives, and he’d told you. And now here you were, nodding your head to the rhythm, mouthing lyrics. 
He let himself glance at you longer than he should have, the road stretching ahead endlessly.
The way you tapped your fingers against your thigh, how you kept stealing glances at him between verses to see if he was paying attention.
You made the hours not so bad.
Actually—
You made them...good.
His best friend. 
The thought slid in again, unbidden, familiar now. 
His grip on the steering wheel loosened slightly.
Hours passed. Conversation came easy with you—
Quiet stretches filled with comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional sarcastic quip or comment that had him biting back a smile.
Eventually, at some point well into the drive, you insisted they switch. He pulled off at a rest stop without much argument, trusting you with the wheel.
For a while, he buried himself in a case file, pen scratching, his brows knit as the miles slipped by. 
Until something small tugged at his attention.
The GPS.
You weren’t following it.
He glanced up. Frowned slightly.
“Where are you going?” he asked, tone calm but curious, almost suspicious.
You shot him a grin, eyes fixed on the road, “Trust me.”
Those two words.
They had more weight than you probably knew.
Aaron almost replied, almost protested—
Until he saw you slow, flicking on your blinker, pulling into a near-empty parking lot.
His frown deepened.
The ocean stretched out just beyond the sand dunes, gray and shimmering under a setting sun. The air still held that early spring bite, not warm enough to be here, not really. The waves looked brutal, frothy, cold.
You parked, throwing the car into park before looking at him expectantly.
“Come on,” you said, already reaching for the door handle.
He blinked,  “Are you serious?”
You didn’t answer. Just slipped out of the car like it was the most natural thing in the world, gravel crunching under your feet. He watched, momentarily stunned, as you kicked off your shoes without hesitation and darted toward the sand.
It took him longer to move.
You were already down the slope, the wind catching your hair, your jacket flapping behind you. You ran—
Ran like no one was watching.
Spinning in lazy circles, arms stretched wide, laughing at nothing at all.
The sky was streaked in pinks and blues, the sun kissing the edge of the horizon.
And there you were.
So carefree, so alive—
As if the week you’d just had hadn’t happened at all.
Aaron swallowed thickly, pulse strange in his ears.
You looked like something he’d forgotten he could want.
Youthful. Joyful. Unburdened.
How the hell did you always know?
Finally, he shoved open the door, hands in his pockets as he made his way toward you.
You caught sight of him as you turned—grinned—and without warning, ran straight back, crashing into him like a force of nature. A ball of warmth and energy, breathless and glowing.
“You’re insane,” he muttered, but there was no heat behind it.
You looked up at him, wind whipping strands of hair across your face.
“So I’ve been told.”
And before he could offer some other dry remark, you leaned up and kissed him—
Quick but firm, like it was the only logical response.
It was. 
He felt himself smile against your lips despite the cold. Despite everything.
I love you, you’re my best friend. 
The words echoed loud in his chest, clearer than ever before.
You had dragged him out of his head, out of the grind and exhaustion, into this moment. A simple, ridiculous detour—
But perfect in its absurdity.
He held you a little tighter, burying his nose in your hair, breathing you in.
Yeah.
You knew exactly what he needed.
You always did.
IV.
You didn’t fight often.
Rarely, in fact.
It wasn’t necessary.
You understood him—
Almost unnervingly well. 
The rhythms, the silences, the unspoken things he kept close to his chest. You moved alongside him like you'd been doing it your whole life, sidestepping the need for arguments before they ever gained traction.
Which made it all the worse when it happened.
He could still hear the edge in his own voice, the sharpness he never liked to use with you. It had started small. A briefing after a long case. You’d been quiet—too quiet—until finally you told him.
The Bureau had offered you a temporary undercover role.
A weekend. One week, tops.
A specialized operation, short turnaround.
You were perfectly qualified. More than capable. He knew that. Respected it.
And still—
He’d felt something ugly twist inside.
It wasn’t rational.
It wasn’t professional.
It was personal.
But instead of telling you that, instead of stripping down the mask of pride and control he always wore, he’d deflected. Asked if you were sure. If it was worth it. If you understood the risk—questions he had no business asking, because you knew damn well what you were doing.
You bickered—
Circling each other in familiar patterns, but the undercurrent felt different this time. 
Tense. 
Frustrated.
He wanted to tell you not to go.
He wanted to tell you he couldn’t stand the idea of you gone, out there without him, without knowing if you’d be safe.
But what came out instead was clipped remarks, deflections.
And pride. Always pride.
He'd watched as your expression shifted—tired, maybe even a little hurt—but resolute. You were going.
You had to.
And he couldn’t blame you. Wouldn’t.
Not when he respected the hell out of who you were and what you were capable of.
But God, he’d looked at you then. Looked at you with something you didn’t seem to recognize.
That look.
The one he’d caught himself giving you before.
The one you hadn’t figured out yet.
I love you. You're my best friend.
He hadn't said it.
Couldn't.
Thought it juvenile, silly. 
What grown man confessed something like that out loud?
So he let the argument fizzle, let you walk away to pack, and found himself alone in his apartment, staring at the ceiling like it might offer him some clarity.
It didn’t.
The bed felt empty without you.
The space beside him cold, unfamiliar.
He tossed. Turned. Listened to the muffled sounds of traffic outside, wondering where you were at that exact moment—
What role you’d slipped into, how you were carrying yourself, who was around to watch your back.
He didn’t like feeling powerless.
Didn’t like this ache in his chest that he couldn’t quiet, no matter how many case files he’d tried to bury himself in earlier.
And the longer he laid there, sleepless and restless, the more one thought threaded itself deeper:
You’re my best friend.
He couldn’t shake it.
He thought about Haley, briefly.
How much he’d loved her. His wife. Jack’s mother. High school sweetheart. First…everything, pretty much. 
But it wasn’t the same.
This—you—felt different.
With you, he never had to stop being himself.
You never asked him to shrink or soften the sharp edges. Never expected him to be anything other than exactly who he was.
You laughed at his dry, quiet humor—
The kind that others barely caught.
Matched it sometimes, firing back quips that no one else would dare say but always made him bite back a smirk.
You knew his next move before he did.
 Knew the reasons behind the things he didn’t verbalize.
And you let him be.
You got him.
He wondered, lying there, when exactly you’d become his person.
Wondered if he’d ever really had a best friend before you.
The age difference between his brother and him. The forced parentified self he became around his brother, never allowed room for friendship. 
Sure, in passing there were coworkers he trusted--relied on--the job pretty much called for it. But he’s not sure he’d consider Derek Morgan his best friend. He’s not sure he could call up a former body from his prosecutor days and expect them to put the type of smile you put on his face. 
It was so much more than just love, romance, and companionship with you. He’s pretty sure he will spend the rest of his life trying to put into words what it is you do to him. For him. 
His best friend. 
It felt childish, stupid even, to think of it in those terms.
But there it was.
 Simple.
True.
You were the one he wanted to tell everything to.
The one whose absence left something hollow in his chest.
The one he loved.
The one who knew him.
His best friend.
And somehow, that realization cut deeper than any argument ever could.
V. 
He hadn't expected moving boxes and takeout containers to feel this monumental.
It was simple, really. Tiring. The kind of day that usually left him cranky and sore, mind already drifting to paperwork or tomorrow's responsibilities.
But tonight?
Tonight was different.
Your things were here now—
Intermingled with his. Coats hanging beside his in the closet. Your books tucked beside his on the shelves. Your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom, like it had always belonged there.
Aaron sat slouched on the living room couch, one arm lazily draped across the back, the other holding the nearly empty wine glass he’d been nursing. You were curled beside him, legs tangled with his, eyes heavy-lidded but bright. The bottle and a half of wine you’d worked through sat forgotten on the table next to the half-eaten boxes of Chinese food, now cold.
Jack had fallen asleep easily hours ago, his laughter still lingering faint in the air. Like the whole apartment felt lighter just from the two of you being here, together, as if something had finally clicked into place.
The music played low, some soft jazz station crackling through the speakers.
Neither of you said much for a while. Just occasional glances. The gentle brush of your foot against his calf. Comfortable silence.
Until you broke it, voice soft and a little slurred at the edges.
“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
He quirked a brow, glancing over at you,  “Haven’t we covered all the bases?”
You smiled, lazy and loose, shaking your head, “Humor me.”
So you traded stories—
Small things at first. 
Embarrassing childhood memories. Weird quirks. The first concert you ever went to. He laughed at that, genuinely, the wine and exhaustion making it easier to let go.
And then you asked.
“What’s your biggest fear, Aaron?”
The question knocked something loose in his chest.
He blinked, caught off guard, searching your face.
You watched him carefully, but there was no pressure there. Just curiosity. Openness.
He hesitated. Briefly. 
And you caught it.
You shifted, sitting up just slightly, balancing your wine glass on the armrest. There was something in your eyes now—
Not just the buzz of the alcohol, but that same steady, fearless look you had walking into danger. 
Brave. Direct.
You licked your lips, almost nervous, but not backing down,  “I’ll go first,” you said, voice quieter now.
He didn’t interrupt, letting you have the space.
You took a breath.
“My biggest fear is losing you.” Your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, eyes fixed on some invisible spot on the floor, “or Jack.”
You laughed under your breath—wet, almost self-deprecating—but when you looked back at him, your gaze was raw.
“I’ve never had this before,” you continued, voice cracking just slightly. “Never had…someone who sees me. All of me. Good, bad, messy. And it scares the hell out of me how much I don’t want to lose it.”
His throat felt tight, the words catching somewhere. It wasn’t the wine making him feel choked up—
It was you.
The sheer honesty of it. The fact that even after all this time, you still managed to surprise him.
He set his glass down carefully, reaching over to catch your hand, fingers threading through yours.
“It’s the same,” he admitted, voice low. Rough. He swallowed, “losing you. Losing this. I never—” He paused, trying to find the right words, the ones sitting heavy in his chest. “I never want to lose you. And I’ll do everything I can to keep you. To keep both of you.”
You smiled softly at him, eyes glassy from the wine, the flush on your cheeks making you look impossibly angelic, impossibly his.
“You’re stuck with me now,” you teased, voice playful but laced with something tender. Then, almost mischievously, you added, “You know…you’re kind of my favorite person.”
He huffed a quiet laugh at that, shaking his head, but the weight of it—
God, it hit him hard.
You leaned in without hesitation, lips finding his, and the kiss tasted like fruit and something deeper.
Something permanent.
It wasn’t hurried.
It wasn’t messy.
It was moving.
All the weight of the day, the exhaustion, the vulnerability, poured into it.
When you finally pulled back, breath warm against his cheek, he stayed still—
Eyes opening slowly, wanting to just look at you.
Soak you in forever. And even after that. Even after forever ended, he’s sure he’d still want more. 
You smiled, lazy and soft, and asked, “What’s that look for?”
He almost told you.
Almost let the words slip—
The ones he’d been feeling for months now, lodged deep in his chest every time you smiled at him, every time you laughed with Jack, every time you made his world feel brighter without even trying.
My best friend.
But instead, he shook his head faintly, voice quiet. 
“I’m just thinking about you.”
You grinned, leaning in to press a kiss to his jaw, before pulling back, eyes glinting mischievously despite the wine haze.
“Well…” you murmured, voice dipping lower, lips brushing against his ear. “Now that we live together…want to go try out the bed properly?”
His breath caught.
Yeah.
He liked that idea.
Very much.
+1
The bedroom was dark, save for the faint orange glow of streetlights filtering through the blinds. The occasional sound of a car passing below, the whisper of tree branches rustling against the windowpane—
Small things grounding him in the moment.
Aaron lay still, one arm wrapped tightly around you, the sheets tangled somewhere near his waist. Your head rested against his chest, breath steady, soft against his skin. The warmth of your body pressed close, leg draped lazily over his, completely relaxed in sleep.
It should’ve been easy for him to follow you there.
Sleep usually came fast after nights like this—
Hours spent wrapped up in you, nothing held back, every piece of himself laid bare.
But tonight…
He couldn’t.
Not when it felt like something inside him might split wide open.
Because he had never had this before.
Not like this.
He stared up at the ceiling, his fingers trailing absently along the curve of your back, and let the thoughts come.
You.
God, you.
These days, that’s what lived in his brain rent free. 
You’d slipped into his life like you’d always been meant to be there, like some force had been quietly working all along to bring you to him when he needed you most.
He never imagined things could line up this perfectly.
Never imagined that after everything—loss after loss, disappointment after disappointment—something so good, so magnetic, would land right in front of him.
Aligning everything. 
And stay.
You saw him.
You understood him in ways that no one else ever had. You didn’t flinch at the sharp edges, didn’t ask him to be softer or less guarded. You laughed at his dry, humorless jokes. Knew when to challenge him, when to let him be.
And the longer he lay there, the more it hit him:
You made him better.
Not by changing him.
But by showing him how to be—
How to trust, how to let himself breathe, how to love without the weight of past mistakes crushing him.
He swallowed, feeling it heavy in his chest.
You were his best friend.
His person.
His love.
The words sat so close to the surface he could hardly contain them.
And as if you sensed it, felt him turning them over in the dark, you shifted slightly against him—
Your hand tightening faintly on his chest, head nuzzling into his neck.
Your voice came out low, rough with sleep, but soft, “Aaron…why are you awake?”
He looked down, catching the faint outline of your face in the shadows.
The way you smiled at him—
Groggy, tender, like he was something precious.
That look.
The same one you always gave him when you caught him staring, trying to memorize this exact feeling.
He brushed his hand up to your cheek, thumb tracing along your temple.
For once, he didn’t hesitate.
“I was just thinking,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. 
You hummed softly in question, eyes still half-lidded, waiting.
He swallowed.
Felt the words lodge in his throat, thick and almost too big to say—but needing to be said all the same.
“You’re my best friend,” he finally said, voice low and sure. His hand cradled your face gently, as if he needed you to feel the weight of it.
You blinked at him, surprised, brow furrowed slightly like you didn’t quite understand what he meant—
Why it sounded so much more significant than it seemed.
He continued, his voice quieter but unwavering, “I love you. You know that. But it’s more than that.” His thumb brushed beneath your eye. “I’ve never met anyone who made me want to tell them everything. Who I wanted to know me—all of me. And you…you do. You know me. You handle me better than I know how to handle myself sometimes.”
You stared at him, eyes glassy, lips parted faintly, breath catching as he went on.
“I want to know everything about you. Every story, every thought you’ve never told anyone.” He swallowed, pulling you a little closer. “I never want to stop.”
There was something shining in your eyes now, even in the dim light. Something soft and stunned, but glowing.
“You make me a better person,” he whispered finally, voice almost breaking. “You’re my best friend.”
For a moment, the silence stretched—
Nothing but the sound of your breaths mingling in the dark.
Then you smiled.
So big, so full of something unspoken, eyes glassy but sure.
You leaned up, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that was equal parts gentle and fierce. Like you wanted to pour all the words you couldn’t form right now into him.
When you pulled back, you gave him a lazy, flirtatious grin despite the emotion lingering behind it.
“Well…” your voice was thick, teasing but tender, “...how about we make use of that bed again, now that we’re a couple who shares absolutely everything?”
He laughed softly—really laughed—and let himself kiss you like he was holding the whole world in his hands.
Because maybe he was.
Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry @Sweethotchlogy @softtdaisy
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mirathescientist · 10 months ago
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Hii I was wondering if you could do an collage au armin arlert oneshot, imagine or Drabble (totally up to you) where armin is a very popular soccer player at the college and since he’s so popular that causes him not have as much time for his gf so she catches an attitude and ignores him and he fixes it ifykyk. I was thinking more of like a dominant or switch armin for this yk?
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pairings: soccer!player Armin x black reader
warnings: smut 18+, a lil angsty, orgasm denial, car sex
a/n: i love this request, armin is just so ૮꒰ྀི˶˃ ⌓ ˂˶꒱ྀིა
Ms. Attitude
“I’m sorry, baby. I promise I’ll make it up later. I love you, bye” The monotone beep of the phone soon followed his hurried voice informing you he ended the call before you could even breathe.
“Yep, I love you too” You mumbled. Glossy eyes scanning the hair and makeup you spent hours on.
This was the second time Armin failed to show up for your date.
Soccer season was picking up and with Armin being the captain you understood you'd no longer be able to spend as much time due to practice, but the frequent outings with his team members were becoming infuriating.
Was it that hard for him to plan around your date nights?
With a deep breath, you soaked a cotton pad in makeup remover. Too exhausted to even take pictures before the excess liquid on the pad mixed with your stray tears. It was rare for you to cry over a guy, even rarer to cry over Armin, but the disappointment was turning into frustration that was too overbearing to contain.
What made things worse is that you felt it wasn't fair to Armin you were having these feelings.
You knew what you were entering into when you said yes to being his girlfriend. He told you his goals from the start; become captain, graduate with a 4.0, play professionally, and ultimately make it to the World Cup.
Of course, you knew achieving all he wanted would take time, and you wholeheartedly supported him.
To maintain a healthy relationship you two had a system. Once a week, you would set aside time for a date. It didn't need to be elaborate or fancy; the simple goal was for you to spend time alone. Everything was perfect. Until it wasn’t.
Something Armin didn’t take into account with the new season was the influx of freshmen on the team. This meant lots of bonding time with the team and less time with you.
°⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
It was a week before you saw Armin. Granted it wasn't on purpose and you just happened to catch a glimpse of him from across the crowded room, but you saw him nonetheless.
The events on how you approached him are a little cloudy, your actions encouraged by the shots you took and your anger. The only true remembrance was Sasha’s attempt to make you stay and the snickers from certain teammates who could predict what was about to happen.
“What the actual fuck, Armin.” You huffed
“Baby? What’s wrong?” His smile disappearing at the pout settled onto your face
You were baffled, was he actually serious?
“What’s wrong is that I haven't seen you in three weeks all because of your little bonding outings. Which this does not seem like bonding” A mixture of frustration and hurt fueling your emotions as you motioned to the party
“I know how this looks, baby but I swear we just got caught up after practice, sit with us I promise to make it up to you- Did you just roll your eyes at me?” Nothing pissed Armin off more than when you rolled your eyes at him.
“Yes! You've said the same thing every week Armin, you're like a fucking broken record and it's actually pissing me off”
“I'm pissing you off?” The indifferent tone of his voice and minuscule smirk on his face should have told you to stop and think but you were just too upset to think.
“Isn't that what I just said” Your iris slightly disappearing as you rolled your eyes once again.
He’d been waiting for it.
Many people knew Armin to be the passionate sweetheart he was. It was rare to see him upset. That emotion reserved for whenever his team got a foul and occasionally whenever you gave him attitude.
Before you could even register what he was doing he grabbed your arm and dragged you out of the party
That little eye roll ended up with you in the backseat of his car, legs on his shoulder as he drilled into you.
“Minniee, pleaseee” You whined, tears threatening to spill from your eyes at the pleasure building in your lower stomach
“You wanted my attention right? So stop fucking complaining and hold it like I said” His hips snapping forward as he buried himself deep inside you with every thrust.
You were certain stars were blurring your vision. He was just stretching you out so well, the girth and the angle he was at leaving no spot along your walls untouched with how deep he was.
Just looking and hearing the whines that slipped passed your lips made him want to fuck orgasm after orgasm out of you.
Just looking at you had him on the brink of a second orgasm.
You just looked so pretty to him. Bouncing breasts no longer confined by the tight shirt you wore, hardened nipples glossy from his previous sucking. Don't even get him started with your teary eyes and glossy lips.
What really got him though was the way your puffy cunt surrounded him. Folds so warm and wet with your slick and his cum that your walls failed to contain.
Armin however didn’t reward bad behavior, especially yours. Maybe he’d let you cum if you whined enough, but who knows. For now, he’d continue to use you for his own pleasure as he pounded into you.
“What's wrong princess? Isn't this what you wanted? Caught an attitude just to get fucked like a slut” He hissed, blonde strands sticking to his forehead as he increased his pace.
“I’m sorry, Minnie, please. I just missed you” You spoke through your broken moans and cries
Leaning down he encaptured your lips, his pace slowing as the guilt seeped into him, oh how he wanted nothing but to go back and spend that time with you.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll make time for us, I mean it this time” His voice coming out in a whisper as he kissed along your neck
“Y-yeah? “ Speech broken by the newfound pleasure as he applied pressure to your clit
“Mhm, as long as you stop with that fucking attitude” Within that second the soft and caring Armin was gone and now replaced with the Armin whose only goal was to make you feel pleasure
You were so close, every rock of his hips hitting your spot so perfectly you were seeing stars and begging to cum but he kept denying you over and over. His responses consisting of “Be my good girl and hold it” or “You want it so badly don’t you?” a condescending pout resting on his pink lips every time
It was only when he grabbed your ankles and pushed your legs up against your chest that he allowed you to cum, pace becoming sloppy as he watched you cream around him, basking in the way every contraction of your cunt added to the milky ring around his base.
The feeling of you clenching around him, the sight of your closed eyes and slightly agape mouth as you came, it was too much for him to handle as spurts of his milky cum forced its way into your stuffed cunt.
“That's my girl” He mumbled. Smirking at the cum spilling from your hole the moment he pulled out
It was only when you felt his hands spreading your legs apart and his tongue plunging into you that you opened your eyes.
“Armin” You shrieked
“Mmm, relax, baby. I've got three weeks' worth of orgasms to get from you.”
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trashytracktales · 3 months ago
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Idk if you write about this topics since they are really sensitive, but it is something I’m currently struggling with and I would like to see how lando would react after finding out that the reader has been hiding a her struggle with mental illness and attempts of ending her life. Once again I know how sensitive this request is but I started reading your work and fell in love with it and thought that you would write this beautifully
Seasons change | LN⁴
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💌 REQUESTED by anon ──── This was a pretty difficult one-shot to write, even though it's not very lengthy. I know that mental health is still a topic of actuality that we all deal with in one way or another. The only thing that I want you guys to remember after reading this, is that you are not alone. I know that it may sound like a broken record, but it's true. Each of us has a Lando in our lives who will care enough to stand by you without ulterior motives or conditions. And if you really feel like you don't, I can be him for you. My DMs and ask box are always open, so don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone. You matter in all your forms 🤍
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
☆ summary ──── He's been away for work for a while now, but when Lando comes home to find his girlfriend at her lowest, they have to learn the hard way that love is about sitting with each other in the dark, not just chasing the light.
☆ pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader
☆ rating ──── mature
☆ category ──── F/M
☆ word count ──── 2.6k
☆ date ──── Jan. 11, 2025
☆ warnings ──── 16+, established relationship, soft!Lando, mental health struggles, depression, suicidal ideation, mention of alcohol consumption and pills, emotional distress, vulnerability, guilt and healing, non-sexual nudity (bathtub scene, including tenderness and intimacy).
Please, proceed with caution and prioritize your well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling, these are some of the resources I personally used for years now & I think (and hope) that it might help you at some point:
☆ MENTAL HEALTH APPS
Calm
7 cups
BetterMe
☆ INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS
idontmind
thefabstory (also an app)
getreformative (currently inactive, but great resources posted there)
talkspace
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﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
THE APARTMENT IS too quiet tonight. A space that once felt like a sanctuary, now seems to close in on her, the walls pressing closer with each passing hour.
To anyone looking in, her life might appear perfectly ordinary, even enviable. She has a stable job that she loves, a couple of friends who care in their own way, and Lando. Lando, with his boundless energy, his boyish grin, and his unwavering ability to see the good in her even when she struggles to find it in herself. But beneath that polished surface, there’s a darkness she’s been hiding for as long as she can remember.
She’s not really sure when it happened, or what caused her to lose her spark. Most of the times, she thinks that she’s always been like this, but that can’t be right. Although, at this point in time, it went on long enough that she learned to wear masks and mimic people’s gestures. It’s exhausting, but it’s easier than explaining why some days she can barely drag herself out of bed, or why her mind feels like a storm she can’t escape.
Lately, the same storm has been relentless. Lando’s been away for weeks, hopping from one race to another, his life a whirlwind of fast cars, tons of people, and flashing cameras. She’s proud of him, of course, but his absence leaves a void she can’t seem to fill on her own, no matter how many phone calls they share.
She knows it’s not his responsibility to fix her, but without even knowing it, Lando does it every time he looks at her. In those moments, pieces of her heart are welded back together, giving her hope that one day, maybe, it will be whole again.
Of course, things aren’t that easy.
She’s always been a loner, someone who enjoys her own company more than the chaos of others. This is why she doesn’t go with Lando to all of his races. Over time, they’ve developed their own rhythm, and it only works when they both put in the effort to be together. However, she knows that he often works for both of them. She also knows that it’s not right to let him do this, but she doesn’t know how to stop.
But being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, and lately, the loneliness feels like it’s swallowing her whole. She tries to keep busy, to distract herself with work or a new book, but the dark thoughts always find her; a cycle she can’t break. They usually creep in at night when she’s most vulnerable, whispering lies she can’t ignore.
You’re a burden.
He’d be better off without you.
Everyone would be better off without you.
In spite of everything, she knows she’s lucky, though. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and someone who loves her. And, somehow, knowing that only makes her feel worse. Most of the times, the guilt is suffocating — a heavy weight that presses down on her chest until she can’t breathe. She’s tried to push the thoughts away, to drown them in work or meaningless distractions. She tried to be grateful. But tonight, like many other nights before, they’ve won.
When Lando steps into the apartment, the soft click of the door is echoing in the stillness. It’s late — later than he’d hoped — and he assumes she’s already asleep, because he texted her hours ago to let her know he was on his way, but there had been no reply.
Dropping his bag quietly by the door, he toes off his sneakers and glances toward the dimly lit living room. The faint glow of the city skyline filters through the curtains, casting muted shadows across the floor. He moves carefully, not wanting to wake her, with a simple plan in mind: slip into bed, wrap his arms around his girlfriend, and fall asleep to the steady rhythm of her breathing.
But something feels off.
On his way to the bedroom, he spots the balcony door slightly ajar. A cool breeze sneaks through the crack, carrying with it the faint scent of something acrid. He pauses, his brow furrowing as he approaches the glass door.
That’s when he sees her.
She’s out on the balcony, her back to him, legs dangling dangerously over the edge. For a moment, he’s frozen in place, his mind struggling to process what he’s seeing. Then his gaze shifts, taking in the scene: some things are knocked over on the small table by the door, a small flacon of pills alongside a half-empty bottle of wine, and all the mess. The realization hits him like a physical blow, and his heart starts pounding in his chest.
But then, panic grips him as he slides the door open, stepping out onto the balcony. The sound startles her, and she turns her head slightly, her expression distant and unfocused. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and there’s an eerie calmness about her that chills him to the core.
“Hey, is everything okay?” asks Lando, his voice soft as he crouches beside her, careful not to make any sudden movements. “What… baby, what are you doing out here?”
She doesn’t answer immediately, her gaze drifting back to the city below. The silence stretches, each second feeling heavier than the previous one.
“Talk to me,” he pleads, his voice slightly cracking. His eyes dart back to the table, to the pill bottle and the wine, and he feels a surge of anger mixed with fear. “Is this—fuck. Did you take these?”
She shakes her head, a small smile curving in the corner of her mouth. “I’m so tired, love,” she whispers finally, her voice shaking over the hum of the city.
Her words hit him like a punch in the gut, and he’s suddenly aware of how fragile she looks, and how close she is to the edge. His hands shake as he reaches for her, gently gripping her arm. His heart beats so hard that he feels it throughout his body — his ribcage, in his throat, in the hand he tightens around her, to make sure he’s holding her with enough force.
“Okay. That’s okay,” he says, his tone soft but urgent. “Let’s go inside, yeah? I’m tired too, we can rest together. What do you say?”
“No… no, it’s not—” she tries to speak, but her brain is clouded by a mental fog, and everything around her moves too quickly for her to catch up.
“Come on, can you step back? Please. For me?”
His last question is what jolts her back to reality. For him? She would do anything for him. Lando knows that, and she soon realizes that he is using it to emotionally blackmail her. He always does that, and it annoys her.
She raises her head to look at him, her tired eyes meeting his, and for a moment, Lando thinks she’ll comply. But then, she pushes his hand away, a trace of betrayal crossing his face.
“No. It’s pretty out here,” she says, gazing down at the world that simply exists under her feet. The distance makes her stomach clench, knowing that all it takes it’s a small misstep for everything to end. Still, she doesn’t move an inch.
“I see that, love,” he agrees, “But I want to talk to you, and I can’t do that unless I make sure you’re safe. Did you… do this before?”
She nods slowly, refusing to look at him.
At that, Lando exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm the storm in his chest. He knows her enough to know when to push and when to give her space, only this time around, he’s met with a weird combination of both. Luckily, his body decides what to do before his mind agrees to it and, cautiously, he climbs up to join her on the edge, his hands gripping the cold railing as his pulse pounds in his ears.
Her head snaps toward him, her expression instantly shifting, panic flashing in her eyes. “No, what are you doing?” she whispers, her voice cracking.
“I’m with you,” he murmurs, his voice tender, laced with fear he’s desperately trying to hide. “If you’re staying here, then so am I.”
She blinks, her lips parting as if to protest, but no words come. Instead, her gaze softens, the wine-induced haze in her eyes clearing. Slowly, she lets out a shaky breath and sits down on the narrow ledge, her hands gripping the edge. Lando follows her lead, sitting close but careful not to crowd her, his knee brushing hers. He hesitates for a moment before gently reaching for her hand, and he exhales relieved when her fingers close around his, grounding both of them.
They sit in silence for a moment, the distant city lights flickering around them.
“I’ve missed you a lot, you know?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, breaking the quiet. “I never… If something happens, I don’t want to have to miss you all the time—”
“Lando, I know,” she cuts him off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she continues, staring at their joined hands. Her voice is small, guilt creeping into her tone.
He nods, looking at her, “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Lando says gently. “I know I’m away a lot, but if you need me, I’ll do anything.”
Her grip on his hand tightens slightly just as she turns to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, tears pooling but not yet falling. “It’s not your fault, Lan. It’s me. I… don’t even know. There’s nothing wrong, but at the same time, nothing’s quite right, either.”
He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Don’t apologize for feeling. It just makes me think now, because I thought you trusted me,” says Lando, his words cutting through her like a knife through butter. “I trust you,” he adds, almost like pointing it out.
She knows he does, her mind instantly replaying the moments in her head, the times he’d come to her with his struggles. When a race didn’t go his way, and he doubted everything he’d worked so hard for. When social media was brutal, tearing him apart with words that left invisible scars. When he felt hated and couldn’t understand why. He always talked to her, shared his pain, his fears, his insecurities. He let her in, trusted her completely. And now, here she was, shutting him out when he was only trying to do the same for her.
“Don’t say that…” she starts, but her voice catches, and her breath hitches. “I’m trying.”
“I know, baby. I know,” Lando says gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Can we, please, just go inside?”
The tears she’s been holding back for too long finally slip free, carving hot, silent paths down her cheeks. She looks up at him, her lips trembling as she whispers, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
His expression softens, and without hesitation, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to her knuckles, mostly to show her that she didn’t. The gesture is so simple yet so full of love that it sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over her.
Lando doesn’t let go of her hand as he gently helps her to her feet, guiding her back inside the apartment. The night air clings to their skin, but it’s the quiet inside that feels even heavier. He doesn’t say much, just keeps her close, his touch steady and grounding as they make their way to the bathroom.
A little uncomfortable now, she leans against the doorframe, watching as Lando moves around, carefully. He runs the water, testing the temperature with his hand, adding just the right amount of bath salts from the container on the shelf. The pale lavender-scented steam begins to fill the space, creating a safe bubble for both of them.
When Lando finally looks back at her, his expression is warm and inviting, somehow hopeful. He steps closer, reaching out to gently cup her cheek, wiping away the tear stains that remain.
“You’re everything to me,” he says softly, his thumb brushing over her skin before his hands move to the hem of her hoodie.
She doesn’t protest as he carefully lifts it over her head, his touch tender, his eyes never leaving hers. For a moment, she stands there, feeling vulnerable under his gaze, but there’s nothing but love in his expression.
Her fingers tremble slightly as she reaches out to return the gesture, undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one. His eyes stay locked on hers, silently reassuring her, grounding her in the best way possible. By the time she pushes the fabric off his shoulders, the weight in her chest feels a little lighter.
They step into the bath together, the warm water enveloping them like a soothing embrace. She settles between his legs, her back against his chest, and his arms come around her instinctively. There’s no rush, no need for words. It’s just them, surrounded by the quiet hum of the water and the soft glow of the candles Lando had lit earlier.
He presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a moment before he rests his chin on her shoulder. “Promise you’ll talk to me next time?” he asks, his voice small but steady. “I know things won’t change overnight, I don’t expect them to. But I need to know you understand that I’m here for you. That I love you enough to listen, and feel everything with you.”
The words settle in her chest, heavy but necessary, like the first raindrops of a storm. For the first time in what feels like forever, she sees beyond the swirling chaos in her mind. The weight of his love and understanding wraps around her like the warmth of the water they’re sitting in. And then it hits her.
How life itself is the changing of seasons, a constant push and pull — a constant chaos. Sometimes, the sun will break through, lighting everything in gold. Other times, it will rain so hard she won’t see the way ahead. But Lando’s right. It will get better again. Then worse. And then better again. That’s the way it is for everyone. A relentless tide of ups and downs, joy and pain, hope and disappointments.
As she leans back into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, she realizes the most important thing: it isn’t always black or white. Sometimes, it’s a hazy gray — a space where the lines blur, where the answers aren’t clear, and the path you find yourself on feels impossibly difficult to navigate. But it’s in that in-between, in the murky middle, that having the right person beside you matters the most. Not to pull you into the light or demand you leave the shadows, but to sit with you in the dark, holding your hand, letting you know you’re not alone.
She swallows hard, her throat tight, but not from sadness this time. “I promise,” she finds the strength to whisper. Her breath catches, and she turns her head slightly to meet his gaze, tears still pooling in her eyes. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I—”
“You deserve everything, my love,” Lando assures her, his lips brushing her temple, before placing a tiny kiss there. “And I’ll make sure you get it.”
His definitive tone sends shivers down her spine.
She closes her eyes, feeling the water ripple softly around them, and holds on tighter, knowing that no matter what storms may come, the most important thing is that they won’t lose each other’s touch.
And that’s everything to her.
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PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT
MASTERLIST
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Thank you for reading!
None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎
© trashy track tales, 2025
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biteyoubiteme · 5 months ago
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spilled drinks
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taehyun x fem!reader x huening kai
synopsis: your now ex could never get you off, so they show you they can.
warnings: 🔞!!! threesome, fingering, oral (f!rec), sex toys, slight spit kink, double penetration (light mxm because of this) , no protection, creampie(s), overstimulation, subspace mention, bondage, reader called dumb/cockwhore/baby prob forgot some sorry
wc: 2.5k (again me when I lie and say I could do these under 2k)
an: thank you so much for requesting @prince-jjae ! ily but I don't think I got exactly everything you asked for but I tried <333
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
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The tear tracks on your cheeks burn from the frost tinted air. They weren't tears of sadness but pure unadulterated tears of anger. You hadn't even felt them slip until they turned cold, all your emotions bubbling up, the tears a direct reflection of that emotional pot making your skin hot. The dusting of snow in the air only added to the annoyance. Every step had to be watched as you made your way down the street, the dotting of couples and friends splitting up as you walked near, sensing your need to lash out at one bumped shoulder. 
Although you weren't necessarily happy this morning, it was better than this. You could hear your now ex’s voice ringing in your head, that last little line that finally pushed you over the edge to end a relationship long overdue for the guillotine. You had stormed out of his apartment, phone already in hand when you texted the boys that you would in fact be able to make it to drinks.
The invitation was always open for you to join in a moment of changed plans, even ones as big as a breakup. You had sensed the end and felt a need to keep the monotonous relationship like a shirt you wore to summer camp six years ago. It had to be thrown out, but why throw out something that could be useful if you needed it? Even if you weren't spending time with your now ex he could be used as an excuse to get out of something, mostly when your coworkers invited you out for something you didn't want to do. And occasionally the sex was good enough to bring you back, but it was few and far between that you found yourself wanting to spend the night with him. 
It's what started the conversation in the first place, your offer to try something new and his defensiveness that soured your mood. But it wasn’t only about sex, everything just started to come up without you being able to hold it back any longer. And now you’re here, standing at the bar waiting for a drink to calm you down before you went back and ripped your ex apart. 
“You know if you’re sad-“
“I’m not sad,” you cut Kai off, “I’m pissed he probably thinks he came out on top in that argument because I needed to leave before I started breaking things,” 
taehyun chuckled beside you, “You should have broken something. The guy was an asshole,” 
“I don't even want to think about it anymore,” but it's only after the bartender places your drink down in front of you that you speak back up, “No actually if your girlfriend came to you and said ‘Oh the last few times we had sex I didn't finish we should fix that’ you don't just start listing things like she forgot to do the dishes once last month,” 
“He couldn't get you off?” Kai lifts his brow, fully invested in your ranting. His drink is right at his lips when he asks, head tilted in the question. 
“Not really but it wasn't the end all be all, I was willing to work around it and figure it out together, hell I started the conversation about wanting to try new things and yet I was completely shut down,” it's then that someone behind you bumps into your shoulder, the glass in your hand slick from the condensation slips from your hand. 
The sound of the shattering glass is an echoing representation of your inability to keep yourself from lashing out. “Fuck him and his stupid short fingers that he didn't know how to use,” 
“If you had said he couldn't get you off sooner I would have advised you to break up with him a year ago,” taehyun is quick to move you away from the bartender who comes to sweep up the mess made. “It's probably the same reason why you're so crabby right now,” 
“Yeah, I think a few orgasms could fix you right up,” Kai’s gentle giggle calms you down for only a beat. 
“I'm too angry to think about going home alone to my vibrator, the one I specifically bought so that I could use when we had sex and was told repeatedly that it wasn't important to use,”
“I can do most of the work if you wanted,” “I wouldn't mind helping.” you can't even remember who suggested leaving, you remember less the journey back to your apartment. Every fumbling move washed over in a sex-induced haze. 
It wouldn't be the first time any of you had flirted with the idea, not even the first time you had kissed one of them, let alone one after the other. But it was nothing like this. 
It was dizzying to have both of their mouths on you at the same time, kisses all down both sides of your neck, your hands twisting into their hair, moaning when Kai shoved his hand down your pants. His long fingers skillfully work over your now puffy clit. “You’re fucking soaked,” he moans, tongue lapping the trail of bruised marks he's sucked onto your skin. 
“Am I?” It's a stupid question when the sound of your wetness is enough to hear the second he's slipped two fingers into you. Neither of them had ever heard sweeter sounds from you in all your years of friendship. That desperate plea to have them touch you slinked in with every soft whimper escaping your pink kissed lips. 
Taehyun is the one to pull off your top, pushing you back against your bed so that he can have easier access to your chest. His nose follows the center of your body, mouth finding your pebbled nipples and taking slow turns between them. His teeth nip at the sensitive buds, tugging until you're whining, not only from the sensation but from Kai's third finger pushing into you. He's already gotten your pants down, reluctantly pulling away your panties slick with your arousal. 
The duel sensations make it hard to feel anything but pleasure, their hands sliding over your skin, fingers stretching you open, and when Kai gives a tentative kiss to your clit it makes your body jolt alive. Taehyun chuckles, the rumble of it pressed right to the underside of your tit, his task of sucking marks onto your chest forgotten when you sound this good.  
Taehyun pulls away asking, “Where is your vibrator?” 
You almost get a response out, pointing in the direction of the nightstand before Kai wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and rubbing his tongue at an expert pace. Your legs fall open, melting into the mattress as he works your cunt.
The question didn't even fully process in your mind until you saw Taehyun behind Kai, a soft kiss to the head of your vibrator like a taunt. “Just look at you, already getting dumb on nothing but fingers,” your hips rolling down onto Kai's Hand, mewling at the way he curls the digits right against that perfect gummy spot inside you. 
He doesn't even have to work hard for your orgasm to crash down on you, the perfect pressure mixed with his mouth is enough to have you trying to snap your legs closed. Freehand coming up to wrap around your thigh to push your legs open. When Kai finally pulls away his chin is dripping with your release, the back of his hand working it away as he groans, “fuck, you taste so good,” 
You should feel exposed laying out on the bed like this in front of them, both of them just with their shirts off, looking down at your aching cunt, still fluttering around nothing, wishing to be stuffed with one or even both of them. Even just the thought has your hips moving, “please, I need you,” 
“Who first?” Kai asks, but Taehyun is already unbuttoning his jeans with one hand. 
“Me,” he leaves no room for argument, the slight demand going straight to your clit. 
“But I want first,” the both of them are looking at each other like they could spend the next ten minutes arguing, the sound of your soft whines in the background to their stare down. 
You feel so empty after having Kai’s fingers in you, the loss of both of their hands adding to the desperation circling your bloodstream. 
“I want both of you, I need both of you,” your writhing form, drawing them back in, your hand slipping through your folds for only a second before taehyun is quick to push your hand away. 
“do not touch what's mine, If I already have to share you I shouldn’t have to worry about you cumming early on your own fingers,” 
“But you're not doing anything-” it's the last thing you say before he presses the vibrator to your clit, the little clicks made to turn it on ringing in your ears as you let out a squeak, the pressure on your already sensitive clit making your legs snap closed around his arm. His little smile is so teasing as he asks, “What was that? I don't think I heard you,” 
Kai chuckles his belt sliding through the loops of his pants until it's held in fingers he has licked clean. You feel the pressure of your next orgasm coming too fast, the tremble in your legs telling them exactly what they need to know, and you try to push the vibrator away, getting just past the valley of your thighs before Huening grabs your wrists in his hands, stealing both of them away. 
The leather of his belt is warm circling your skin, the tightness of your stomach matching that of your core seconds before you're cumming again. With your wrists now tied and in Kai's hands, you have nothing to hold onto when you arch off the bed, nails digging into his belt, his lips kissing your raised knuckles while you feel a gush of fresh release leave you.“Look at that, I don't think someone who's doing nothing could get you to squirt,” Taehyun teases, pulling away the vibrator from your throbbing clit. 
You're trying to find your voice, stuttering over your words incoherently. It's then that Kai presses a swift kiss to your cheek, “Tell me if you want me to stop baby, I'll take this right off okay?” Your weak nod is answer enough before he pulls you up the bed, slotting himself behind you. Your thighs are a mess, all your slippery slick making him moan. Your back is pressed to his chest, every word spoken felt against your hot skin as you roll your head back on his shoulder. He's Got your bound hands in only one of his, keeping your arms in place while Taehyun tosses him the vibrator before slipping off his pants and leaving his standing before you. 
Even just looking at his leaking cock was making you see stars, Kai’s cock already pressed to your thigh ready and red, begging to push into you at a moment's notice. When Taehyun climbs up on the mattress, knees digging into the sheets, he pushes your legs apart. 
It's only a few seconds but it feels like a lifetime waiting for them both to get their cocks in place, Taehyun using his tip to circle your clit, tracing your folds like he plans to map them out, Kai prodding at your entrance. “Please, it hurts- I want you- I wanna be stuffed full of both of you,” 
Taehyun spits on his fingers, needing as much lube as they can get if they are going to both slip into you. He gives a few loose pumps to his shaft meeting Kai right at your waiting hole. They both go slow as they push in, the stretch already having your eyes roll back in your head, it's unimaginable the way your body is feeling, the slight pressure mixed with the sting of being stretched so well around the both of them not even fully yet just their tips is making your brain short circuit. 
Kais rumbling moans are ringing in your ear, pressed to your back and fanning over your skin. Taehyun wants to take his time, but the second he's in far enough to let his hands fall away from himself and just hold your legs in place is his last straw, he's shoving into your warm walls, filling you out and needing more, the pressure from kai’s cock against his makes it feel like you're perfectly squeezing around him, sucking him in and wanting more. Kai is so still, trying to savor the way you feel around him but when he feels the movement of taehyun picking up his pace he can't help but move too. 
They are uneven in their thrusts, when kai finds himself buried deep inside you, taehyun is only just pulling halfway out. It's a constant mind numbing feeling, being this stretched, this full, it's working over your bones and making you lose all proper thoughts. “Fuck your pussy feels so good baby,” Kai's mouth is hot on your ear when he says it, your legs twitch at the praise. 
“Stretched around us so good and look at how dumb it made you, our little cock whore, I bet you want us both to stuff you with our cum too hum?” 
Your back arches at the insinuation, the new angle making Kai hits your cervix just right, and when taehyun pushes in he's pressed right against your g-spot. “Pl-plea-,” Kai uses his free hand not wrapped around your tied wrists to reach for the vibrator next to him. Your soft pleas turn to sharp yelps as he presses onto your clit. The vibration is enough so that both of them feel it even shoved into you. 
It's maddening to have you clenching so much around the both of them, sucking them in so much so that they can hardly pump in and out of you anymore. Both of them press so deep that when you finally cum it's a rush of pleasure taking over everything in you. Every little sensation building up to this moment as you break apart, the fluttering on your perfect pussy making the both of them moan, taehyun’s hold on your thighs tightening enough to bruise as he finishes, cock pulsing and filling you up only seconds before kai is adding him load into the mix. 
The brain fog you're experiencing slips over your body as Kai clicks off the vibrator. Kais kisses the side of your neck, pepper down over your beating pulse. The weak whimper when Taehyun pulls out follows the jerking of your legs close, still stuffed on Kai and yet missing having them both already. 
Huening unwraps his belt from you, tossing it, and giving you a rest, rubbing one hand on your tummy and the other on your thigh. Taehyun disappears for a second before climbing back into bed with a warm damp washcloth, used to clean up your aching cunt after Kai has pulled out, although not before they both admire the way your body pushes out their combined cream until it pools down to the duvet.
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taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask! and a thank you to my favorite person @hyukascampfire the light of my life, fire in my soul keeping me warm, the one who took the time to proof read/ beta read this for me.
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allpiesforourown · 7 months ago
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I have such intense feelings for your bingyuan roommate au, it’s unreal. Binghe would be the BIGGEST green tea bitch/pick me girl but only towards sy, no one else. encountering lbh in the wild first and then experiencing him next to sy would be a fever dream of epic proportions. actual dozens of women would want to behead him and rip out his guts. bc lbh would ditch them on their birthday, an actual medical emergency, or anything critical at all just bc sy vaguely implied he was hungry (lbh now HAS to cook for him, it is not a want, it is a NEED)
And sy would be worse then evvvver, lol. “That’s my little didi binghe, he’s so sweet and sensitive, girls are always breaking his heart :((( If I were his girlfriend I’d get married to him next week and bounce on him silly style. Too bad no one will ever appreciate binghe like I do :(((((” and it is only after MANY of those thoughts that he realizes that he might not feel all that brotherly towards lbh
on a hornier note, I’m at a toss up between thinking that lbh would bring his hookups/girlfriends back to his and sy’s home and fucking them there (bc in lbh’s mind he can’t cum right without the reminder of his gege… and what if gege walked in 🤤… maybe lbh can get him to join…) or him absolutely refusing to let any of them so much as glance at his gege (no one should look at sy except him)
EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY you get it anon.
It's literally like
Woman: let's have a threesome with your friend
Binghe: the idea sounds so appealing but I don't want some stranger getting his hands on him! I don't want to share him with someone who doesn't show him the love he needs. I'm the only one who knows him well enough to be in a threesome with shen yuan
Woman: thats sex. You're just describing regular two people sex. You want to fuck your best friend.
In my head for this au I imagine them as long time friends.. shen yuan found binghe getting bullied at a park or something when they were kids and told his bullies to fuck off. Then he listened to binghe cry about how he's so worried about his sick mom being overworked and begged his parents to hire binghes mom. With way better pay, hours, and work environment, her health improved a lot and she's good friends with shen yuans parents.
Binghe tells himself he acts like shen yuans guard dog because he'll always be grateful for what he's done for his family, but really, he fell in love with his Yuan ge at first sight the second he saw a boy standing up for him instead of ignoring his bullying.
Someone: say something nice about your best friend
Binghe: oh I have so much to say! He's so sweet and intelligent and adorably nerdy ! He saved me and my mom and-
Someone: say something nice about your girlfriend
Binghe: um..... uh ...... well.... sometimes she... hmm......
The poor women he dates. They'd go through SO much suffering trying to "fix" him and then when they finally give up after going through hell itself, they see bingge and shen yuan get together and suddenly the most negligent terrible boyfriend in the world is buying flowers and posting corny pictures on Instagram and proposing a few months into the relationship.
Shen yuan: I can't believe I managed to bag someone as handsome beautiful and loving as binghe. He wakes up at 6am every morning to get started on breakfast so he can feed me in bed. He's so attentive I worry I'm taking advantage of him. How did he get broken up with so often? No one appreciates people like binghe
Everyone else binghe has ever dated: I told him I got stabbed and he left me on read
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rhaeheartzsquirrelz · 4 months ago
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She’ll be There
Sevika x Female Reader
Headcannons || Angst + Fluff
Cw: Mentions of self-harm (not fully described, I know it can be triggering), self sabotage, and mentions of binge eating disorder. Modern setting. Sevika has both arms (though it doesn’t have anything to do with the plot). Not a lot of in depth details, only because I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable or triggering.
Proofread || Note: It surprised me when I noticed there’s barely any recognition of binge eating disorder. And, so, I decided to write about it. Really sucks that a lot of people don’t even know that it exists. Also, no, I am NOT romanticizing sh and ed, this is just for readers who find comfort in these kinds of fanfics; ones who relate. (Also because I struggle with it.)
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Sevika was one of those girlfriends who made you question if you really deserved her. One of those girlfriends that made you so happy that you were sure that all of it was all some sort of dream. She took care of you when you weren’t well. When you needed comfort and support. She was there regardless. You were a priority much greater than anything else, she loved you more than anything else.
But, there was always a sense of guilt that tugged at you whenever she showed affection. It was unfair to her that she had to do so much compared to other couples. It was like being a burden, a broken tool that wouldn’t fix. A tool that had to patched up daily, made sure it didn’t break itself again. You were sure she’d get tired.
But that day never came.
A healthy relationship with food was what you strived for. What you could only try your best for. Not even a few minutes after eating you were hungry again. Well, you weren’t actually hungry. Your stomach was half full and you weren’t needing more. It was just you being bored and eating being a way for you to comfort yourself. It was a coping mechanism that you’d picked up at a young age; and never noticed how horrible it was for you.
Sevika was aware of your problem, of the issues you had with food, and how it was difficult it was for you not to turn to food for distraction.
When you were upset, you’d grab yourself a plate of leftovers. When you were angry, you’d have a bowl of chips in your lap and munch on it. Even when you were happy, you’d make yourself some pasta. And, undoubtedly, your girlfriend was worried with the amount of food you’d eat in such a short amount of time.
Gradually, she decided to do something about it. Convincing you to tag along with her whenever she went out, making plans to go to your favourite bookstore, and even taking you shopping. She tried her hardest to distract you.
Sevika didn’t know much about your eating disorder, but she did her research. Reading books, searching online, and even asking you your struggle.
She’d ask you how you felt about the whole thing. What you thought. How you felt when you didn’t indulge in the urge and it felt after you ate. Your girlfriend had a lot of questions and you did your best at answering them. Some of them were ones you’d never thought of asking yourself, they had you thinking. And you appreciated her efforts in understanding.
Sevika would even cook your favourite food whenever you were genuinely hungry. She’d go on youtube and learn recipes for you, even make desserts so she knew you were full. Most of her attention would be on you, making sure your body was satisfied with your intake.
There was never a time where you felt that your girlfriend was tired of the extra care she gave you. In all honesty, that woman loved all of it. Doing small things for you, like making sure the proportions she prepared for you were perfect, like making sure your plate was full of the essentials; carbs, fibers, fats, all those good things.
And, at first, Sevika thought she’d made progress, made you better. But, on the day she found you in the bathroom with your wrists red was the day she assumed the worse. She thought, maybe, she’d made you feel a sort of way. Thought she’d made it worse. Thought she’d hurt your feelings and had pressured you.
She wrong about all those things.
Your girlfriend blamed herself for everything, as she tended to. You’d reassured her many times that it wasn’t her fault, that it was just the way you were born— also, false.
“Sev, I’m serious. It’s not your fault, it never was. You’re fixing something that can’t be fixed.” You’d say, sat next to her and watching as she only looked away. “Did I make you feel pressured? Or was it just me being obsessed with helping you? Be honest. I can take it.” Obsessed, huh?
“No. The things you’ve done for me are just.. too nice. You’ve helped me, Sevika, not made it worse.” She’d end up furrowing her brows. “So then, why’d you do that? Hurt yourself, I mean.” Her silver eyes would avoid your arms at an attempt to think positively. “I just.. it’s me. I’m a little frustrated at myself, it’s nothing.” Your girlfriend wouldn’t meet your eyes, let alone face you.
“Can you not?” Your tone a little less gentle. “You won’t even look at me.” Only because Sevika didn’t want to stare, make you feel uncomfortable. “All I’m asking is that you don’t look at me any differently. Please?”
It took time and patience for the woman to acknowledge your scars. She thought the subject was too tense, too awkward. But the first time she did, you ended up opening yourself to her. Letting her in on the small details she’d never thought you’d feel.
That was step one. Step two was helping you in other ways. Sevika would give you suggestions, instead of telling you what to do. Give you space and time to think by yourself. Give you advice and even be a source for you to talk about it with. All she wanted was for you to trust her, turn to her, and let her comfort you— instead of you having to look for that in other things.
Over time, Sevika had stopped avoiding confrontation; only when the topic wasn’t sensitive. She’d ask you if you felt any urges, if you’d even tried doing it again. And, slowly, you began saying no. It wasn’t a lie, no, you’d just stopped thinking about it.
And when she noticed that, your girlfriend felt a sense relief she’d never felt before. She was glad she could do something, even if it was just sharing her ideas and being your safe place.
Sevika loved you, she’d made that quite obvious in the way she stuck by your side. Never had she felt frustration, or annoyance towards you for being in the dark place you used to be in. All she felt was the need to keep you out of there, keep you in the light where you were happy and safe.
Your girlfriend would stay with you for hours if you needed her to. If you were crying she’d cry with you. If you needed her attention she’d give it to you at an instant. If you needed her to just hold you she’d do so. She’d open her arms for you, kiss away your pain, and talk away your problems.
All Sevika needed was for you to be alright.
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A/N: Pleaseeee please pleaseee! let me know if something I wrote was incorrect or just insensitive, I really don’t want anyone to feel a type of way when they read this; being upset or angry. I tried my hardest to write how I, personally, feel because I know a lot of people might feel the same way— relate. Hopefully I didn’t do anything wrong :(
Please reach out to someone you know and trust if you are feeling stuck and are struggling with an eating disorder or self-harm. I promise you it’ll only get worse without help and support.
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starry-hughes · 9 months ago
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façade
jack hughes x reader (ex)
summary: jack hughes can’t admit he lost you.
warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, jack hughes is a LIAR
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Everything was muffled as Jack Hughes stared at his cup. A clear cup full of bubbly champagne. Guests around him, mostly family, all laughing and talking. Jack didn’t like champagne. You didn’t like champagne. It was never kept in the apartment because of the shared dislike for it. It tasted sour in Jack’s mouth.
He broke from his trance as Quinn slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Stop pouting,” his older brother joked. “Your girlfriend had a work trip, you can survive a wedding without her.”
It stung. It really did. You weren’t his girlfriend. You hadn’t been since April. But he hadn’t gotten the courage to tell anyone that the two of you had broken up. And here Jack was, at a cousin’s wedding, lying to every family member who asked him where you were. “Oh she has a work trip, couldn’t make it unfortunately.” The lie came out easier than ever. He had been lying to everyone so it was easy to continue doing so.
His parents. God he felt guilty for lying to them. It was like he was eight years old again, lying that he did his homework already. Except now, the lie was bigger than undone homework. The lie was that every time he looked at his phone, he was texting you. Every time his parents asked about you, he would just say you were busy with work, or make up some story about how you had called earlier and told him about your day. How he made sure he sent flowers or dinner to you since he was away and you weren’t with him. The lie just got bigger and bigger when his dad sat down and gave him the talk about proposing, making sure he asked for permission before proposing, the offer of the family heirloom ring.
His family loved you. Everyone loved you. He barely held himself together when his uncle joked that the next wedding would be Jack’s and yours. Oh if only they knew.
Jack didn’t know where it all went wrong. Everything had seemed perfectly fine. Everything was fine in Jack’s eyes. Then he watched as your stuff had slowly began disappearing from the apartment. You weren’t around as much. When the team had finally allowed Jack to get his surgery, when it was confirmed that the team wouldn’t make playoffs, he was home more.
It seemed fine. And then he finally asked what was wrong.
Luke was on a roadtrip. Jack was recovering from surgery but he asked what was wrong. “What is happening to us?”
The words hit you like a truck. You weren’t ready to have this conversation. It was going to hurt. But you knew you were in the wrong. You had decided to slowly leave without even talking to Jack. And now he knew. “We both know we aren’t happy.”
Your words broke his heart. He swore he felt his heart stop working. He was happy. “I’m happy,” he stuttered. His arm was in a sling but all he wanted to do was hug you. “I’m not, Jack.”
Tears stung his eyes. You were going to break his heart. “I can fix this. Let me fix this!” His voice was breaking. Everything was unraveling before him. He couldn’t play hockey. He was about to lose the one person in the world he was sure he couldn’t live without. This wasn’t fair. “It can’t be fixed!” you snapped back, “I’m not happy here. I’m not happy with you. Or this relationship anymore.”
There it was. His heart shattering. His eyes hurt and hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “What did I do wrong?” his voice cracked. “We are just in different parts of our lives.” How could he not see this coming? How was it such a shock to him? How had he been so stupid to let himself lose you?
“I can fix it, I promise.”
He was pleading, begging. Anything to make you reconsider. He thought about his summers with you and his family, the way you joked around with his brothers, the way you loved talking to his parents, the way you would run around with his youngest cousins. The boat days when you looked pretty his eyes couldn’t be on anything or anyone else. The family reunions where you sat with his grandparents and listened to their stories.
He thought about the winters with you. The winters where you curled around him in bed because you were cold. The game days where you showed up in his jersey. The way you stood in the stands and cheered him on. The time it snowed when you went home with him on Christmas break and watching you stare at the snowflakes in awe. He thought about the autumns with you. The way you loved walks in the city, watching the leaves change colors. The way the air turned cool and you would steal his jackets. The way you and him would curl up, undressed in bed, windows open and the cool autumn air would blow in and give you the need to be closer to him.
The springs with you. The season he bought you flowers every week. The air warming up and watching your wardrobe change back to spring colors and how pretty you looked. The way you would pick a flower from the grass and put it in his hair. How you stared at how the sun reflected his eyes. How he fell in love with you over and over again with the seasons.
And all of it was slipping away in moments.
It was like he was watching three years circle the drain. The love you had for him had drained out of the sink and his was overflowing. Love, like water, spilled on the ground, over the lip of this metaphorical sink, it was filling, it was always full, always overflowing. And he hadn’t even realized that you had pulled the drain on your sink.
“Please.” It was one word. It came out strained. His mouth was dry. Was he about to throw up? How would he have to tell his family? His friends? How would he have to admit he lost the best damn thing that walked into his life? How would he admit that he let it just walk out?
For a second, you stared at him. Memories flashed through your brain. How Jack looked on your first date. How he looked lying next to you in bed at night, sleeping peacefully. Were you really about to give this all up? Yes.
“I’m sorry.”
When Luke returned from his roadtrip, he noticed the apartment was colder. Jack’s bedroom door shut and your stuff was missing. He assumed he would tell him eventually but it never came. Luke watched Jack bite his tongue days later when Nico asked about you, he watched the lie fall out of Jack’s mouth. Something about you having to relocate for your job but you were still dating. Luke knew it was a lie.
Now, Jack stood in the middle of the reception at his cousin’s wedding. At least he wasn’t still at the ceremony, watching two people in love seal their relationship with rings, watching the event that he was sure that you and him would eventually reach. The reception was lovely. And there he was with his glass of champagne that was getting warmer by the second.
Quinn stood on one side of Jack, Luke on the other. “When you and (Y/N) get married do I get to be the best man or does Lukey get to?” Quinn asked. He didn’t mean it to remind Jack that he was a liar. He genuinely had no idea Jack and you weren’t together. Luke stared at Jack, watching his eyes glaze over with tears for a brief second. Luke was hoping, praying, silently begging that Jack would end his own self-inflicted pain.
Jack forced a smile and a laugh, “You two can fight for that position. (Y/N) doesn’t care either way.”
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itsnesss · 9 days ago
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𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞 | max verstappen × fem!reader
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summary | a rumor explodes in the press: max was seen with another girl at an after-party. the internet is on fire. so are you. he swears nothing happened, but trust begins to crack
warnings | angst, infidelity? (find out), emotional intensity, relationship struggles
word count | 2.0 k
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The notification comes just as you're finishing getting ready. The flight to Italy leaves in three hours, and you've been waiting for this trip for weeks. Max promised you a getaway after the race. No photographers. No schedules. Just the two of you.
But when you unlock your phone, the world stops.
“MAX VERSTAPPEN AT PRIVATE PARTY WITH MYSTERIOUS BLONDE. WHERE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND?”
- Daily Sports
Your stomach churns when you see the photo: him, holding a beer, and a girl practically sitting on his lap. There’s no kiss. But you don’t need one. The image says more than a thousand excuses.
Your fingers shake as you click through the gallery. There’s more. Another one where Max smiles at the blonde. Another where she touches his chest. And one last blurry one that could be anything… but your mind already paints the worst scenario.
The buzzing in your ears is deafening.
Your phone vibrates. A message from Max.
Max: “Don’t believe everything you see.”
How convenient.
How quick.
How desperately little.
You take a deep breath. One. Two. Three times. You don’t cry. Not yet. But your hands are no longer responding.
You don’t know what hurts more: the photo… or his two damn words.
Trust me.
That’s what he tells you when he arrives half an hour later at your apartment, unannounced, with his cap pulled low and his eyes red from exhaustion. Or guilt. Or both.
“Y/N…” he begins, barely crossing the threshold. “Nothing happened. I swear.”
You look at him. He still sounds the same. But it doesn’t sound the same.
“Are you kidding me?”
Max shuts the door behind him. Takes a step. You take a step back.
“It was a team party. After the podium. Everyone was there. She… she just sat down. I didn’t invite her. I didn’t do anything.”
Your laugh is hollow, bitter. Like an empty glass breaking on its own in the silence.
“You didn’t do anything… but you didn’t seem uncomfortable. You didn’t seem to push her away. You didn’t seem to remember you had a girlfriend.”
He rubs his face, frustrated.
“Are you really going to do this over some pictures?”
Your eyes fill with rage. There he is. The driver who thinks he’s invincible. The champion who thinks everything can be fixed with a good explanation.
“Yes, Max! Because that’s all I have. Pictures. While you were with her, I was here, packing for a trip you suggested. ‘No photographers,’ you promised. ‘No schedules,’ you said! Do you know what it feels like to open my phone and find that?”
Max closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them, there’s something broken in them.
“I don’t want to lose you over something stupid,” he mutters.
“Then you should’ve taken better care of it first.”
Silence.
For the first time, Max Verstappen has no answer.
You don’t know when the keys slipped from your hands. Or when you started crying. You just know you’re standing in front of the man you love, and you don’t recognize him anymore.
“How many times do I have to explain to you that nothing happened?” Max insists, more tense now, raising his voice. “What do you want me to do?! Throw myself on the floor and beg you?!”
“No, I don’t want you to beg, Max!” you shout, your voice breaking. “I want you to understand. I want you to see what you did. I want to know if you’re lying to me or if you just don’t care!”
He takes a deep breath. Steps back. Walks around your living room as if looking for air. Or an escape.
“Do you have any idea how hard this is?” he says, his voice lower but trembling. “Do you know how hard it is to be in the middle of all this and still keep something real, something that doesn’t get filtered, that doesn’t break, that doesn’t become part of the show?”
“Then don’t drag me into your world,” you say, your voice cracking. “Don’t drag me in if you’re not going to take care of me there.”
He stops. Looks at you. There’s anger in his eyes. And sadness. A cocktail you’ve never seen before.
“Do you know what you mean to me?” he says, his voice breaking. “You’re the only thing I have that doesn’t revolve around a car, a clock, a strategy. Don’t make me lose you over a damn photo.”
You look at him. You listen to him. And still… you can’t shake the image of her touching his chest.
“It’s not just the photo,” you answer, your voice steady, trembling inside. “It’s how it made me feel. Invisible. Replaceable. Stupid.”
Max closes his eyes. Nods slowly.
“I’m sorry.”
The phrase hangs in the air. It’s not a scream. It’s not an excuse. It’s just that. A lament. One that came too late.
“Give me space,” you whisper, stepping back. “Just… I need to think.”
“Are you going to cancel the trip?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you going to leave me?”
Your silence says it all.
He doesn’t try to stop you as you walk to the bedroom.
And for the first time since you’ve been together, he sleeps on the couch.
And you… don’t sleep.
The next morning, the scandal is no longer just a rumor: it’s trending. Max’s name is everywhere, and yours too. Fan accounts make theories. Gossip pages dissect your outfits. There are videos, memes, screenshots, comparisons between you and the blonde. You wake up with a knot in your stomach and a hundred notifications.
You don’t need to open a single one.
The damage is already done.
Max is still in your apartment, like a silent shadow. He doesn’t try to talk to you. He’s just there, walking with his phone, looking for an escape that doesn’t exist.
“Your team is going to kill you,” you say from the kitchen, not looking at him.
He looks up. Surprised you’re speaking to him.
“They already did. Horner called me at six. It wasn’t a calm conversation.”
“And the blonde?”
Max sighs.
“A model hired by one of the sponsors. I didn’t even know she was going to be there. It was a trap. For the press. For the image. Whatever. But it fell right where it hurts.”
Your eyes cloud, but you keep them fixed on the coffee you don’t finish.
“So, are you telling me everything was staged?”
“I don’t know. I just know I didn’t touch her. I didn’t look at her the way I look at you.”
The phrase hangs there. Raw. Intense. Uncomfortable.
And for the first time since it all started, you don’t know if you want to hug him… or keep stabbing him with your gaze.
Later, you both leave the building. A stupid decision, maybe, but Max doesn’t want to hide. And you… you don’t know if you can keep being locked up anymore.
The flashes blind you.
“Max, smile!”
“Y/N, did you forgive the infidelity?!”
“Was it marketing or was it real?!”
“Are you going to Italy or not?!”
He takes your hand. And by reflex, you squeeze his.
But the contact hurts. Because you don’t know if it’s real… or part of the same circus that destroyed you.
When you get into the car, the silence returns. All you hear is his labored breathing. The tapping of his fingers on the steering wheel.
Until he can’t take it anymore.
“Does it bother you that I defended you in front of the press?”
“No. What bothers me is having to be defended.”
He nods. And slams the car to a stop at the side of the highway.
“Get out,” he says.
You look at him, confused.
“What?”
“Get out. Yell at me. Tell me everything you’re not saying. Because if we keep going like this, we’re going to die from silence.”
His eyes are red. His voice, broken.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you say, getting out of the car.
“And I don’t know if I’ll ever look at the podium again if you’re not by my side.”
The wind cuts through. The cameras are far away. It’s just the two of you. Two broken hearts at the edge of the asphalt.
“Do you know what hurts, Max?”
“Tell me.”
“It’s not the photo. Not the rumor. What hurts the most is that when I saw it… I believed it.”
Max freezes.
“And that means that, at some point… I started to distrust you.”
He steps closer. Not too much. But just enough for you to hear him clearly.
“Then let me prove it to you. That I’m not what you fear. That what we have isn’t a trophy decoration. With you, I’m more human than a driver.”
Your eyes search for him. And for a moment, the pain loosens. Just a little.
“And what if I can’t trust again?”
“Then I’ll stay here. On the side of the road. Until you can.”
A laugh escapes you. Between tears.
“You can’t stop your life for me.”
“My life stopped when I saw your eyes this morning.”
Silence.
The plane waits.
The suitcase is packed, leaning by the door like an unfinished sentence. Max is next to you, still, eyes glued to the ground. Like he already knows the decision but can’t bring himself to confirm it.
“We could pretend,” you murmur, barely audible. “Say we’re fine. Smile for the cameras. Post a picture together. Is that what they want, right?”
He lifts his gaze, and there’s pain in his expression.
“I don’t want a relationship that looks like a racing strategy.”
You get a little closer, just enough for him to feel your perfume, for you to feel his pulse trembling.
“Then tell me the truth, Max. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to that afterparty? Why weren’t you transparent?”
“Because I thought it was irrelevant. Because I was tired. Because I wanted a night without thinking about how every step I take could destroy us both.”
He pauses. Swallows hard. Looks down.
“And because… if I had told you, I knew it would hurt anyway. Even if I didn’t do anything.”
You feel like you’ve swallowed glass.
“And now what? Do we get on that plane like nothing happened?”
“No,” he says, without hesitation. “We get on because there’s still something between us that’s worth more than all this noise.”
Before you can answer, someone knocks on the door. Firm, urgent knocks.
You open it.
And it’s her.
The girl from the photo.
Blonde, immaculate, with a rehearsed smile that disappears as soon as she sees you.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother…” she says, looking down. “I just came to clarify something. For both of you.”
Max freezes.
You step back, confused, but decide to listen.
“What happened that night… was a setup. They asked me to ‘accompany’ him because it looked good for a campaign. I wasn’t going to say anything, but when I saw how this is ruining everything…”
She looks at you. And her voice softens.
“He didn’t touch me. Not a single word out of place. In fact, he kept looking at his phone. I think he was texting you.”
Max frowns, uncomfortable.
“You didn’t need to come.”
“Yes, I did,” she replies, confidently. “Because it’s not fair. Not to you, nor to her.”
You sit down, as if all the weight is concentrating in your legs.
You don’t know whether to cry… or run to him.
But for the first time since it all started, something inside you starts to loosen.
After she leaves, Max slowly approaches.
“I don’t want you to believe me because of her. Or because of what the world says. Just because of what you feel.”
You look at him. Directly. No filters.
“Then tell me: what are we now?”
“We’re two broken people… but who keep choosing each other even in pieces.”
Silence.
Then, only your voice.
“Let’s get on that plane, Verstappen. But this time… without pretending anything.”
And Max smiles. Not like a driver.
But as a man who, finally, starts to recover what he feared losing the most.
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thinkingaboutbetterdays · 10 months ago
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mistaken identity. ( beck oliver x reader )
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gif belongs to me
"Dude, you have to talk to your girlfriend!" Andre exclaimed as he joined Beck at his bench with Tori on his heels.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"You know that new phone she got?" Tori continued. "Yeah, she must've confused the numbers or something because she keeps sending me texts."
"Okay…" Beck trailed on, unsure where the conversation was headed.
Andre took out his cell phone and opened your latest text messages. "Want to call in sick and spend the whole day together?" He glanced at Beck when he took a sip of his coffee. "Has anyone told you that you have the best eyes?" He held up a hand when Beck opened his mouth, "Uh-uh, it gets worse." Beck raised an eyebrow. "You know what? I can't say it in public." He handed Beck his cell phone to read the raunchier messages you had sent, intended for your boyfriend who quickly began to understand their urgency.
"If I was a gift, how would you unwrap me?"
"Guess what's on the menu? Me-n-u."
"I'm wearing that black thing you like…maybe I'll let you take it off later."
Beck's eyebrows raised as he knew exactly what outfit you were referring to and if he had known you were wearing it last night he would have broken speed limits to get to your place.
He handed Andre his cell phone back, "I'll talk to her."
Tori took out her cell phone when it chimed, seeing another text message from you, intended for Beck. She held it out with a sigh and Beck leaned closer to read it. "Oh." He chuckled when he read the message, reaching for his coffee.
"Put me on your 'to-do- list." Accompanied by a winky-faced emoji.
Seeing the look on their faces Beck knew they had more insight into your relationship than they ever wanted, and took out his cell phone to call you, "I'll call her right now." He took his coffee as he left the bench and Tori sighed in relief when she heard him talking to you.
Andre saw the amused smile on Beck's lips and looked at the brunette as their friend got further away. "You know, I don't think he understands how traumatized we are."
Beck met you outside the food truck and approached you with a grin as he hung up. "I wondered why you didn't come over last night. I thought you had fallen asleep."
He put his arm around your shoulders as you walked away from the line after paying for your lunch, leaning in to whisper, "When you wear that sleep is the last thing on my mind."
You buried your head in his chest as he chuckled. "I will never be able to speak to them again." Realizing he was leading you away from the sea of students, you looked at your boyfriend. "Where are we going?"
"I put you on my to-do list."
Giggles left your lips when he took your hand, leading the way through the hallways, tossing his coffee cup in a trash can on the way to a closet in an empty hallway. Locking the door behind him, Beck turned to you as you dropped your bag and placed your lunch on the shelves. He leaned down to pick you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, giggling as your lips met.
Later that day in his trailer, to avoid further accidental flirty texts Beck went through your new contact list and ensured the names weren't mixed up. You had made nicknames for the group but forgotten who was who.
"Now everyone knows about the black thing." You groaned, covering your eyes with your arm as you lay on his bed.
Beck chuckled, looking over at you. "They don't."
"How can that message suggest anything else but lingerie?"
Beck thought for a moment before nodding, "Okay, they know."
You groaned and he smiled as he looked at his cell phone, checking the numbers before fixing the names on your cell phone.
When he was done he held out your cell phone, "There, all done. Now only I get to read your messages." He smiled.
"I'll have to move."
Beck laughed, shaking his head. "No, you don't. Besides they'll forget all about it."
"When we're ninety, yeah."
Beck hovered over you as you removed your arm from your eyes. "At least you didn't send them pictures." He began to lean down but paused when you stiffened and pulled back to meet your gaze. "You didn't send pictures, did you?" You grimaced, slowly nodding.
"I sent one last night wearing the, uh,"
Beck's eyes widened, "To who?"
You shrugged, "Now can I fall off the face of the Earth?"
Beck looked through your messages finding the photograph and the text that accompanied it. "Is this photo too sexy to post?"
"Uh-oh." He moved away, sitting up as he looked at the message.
"That didn't sound like a good uh-oh. That's a bad uh-oh. Who was it?" You asked, sitting up.
Beck met your gaze, swallowing thickly. "Your mom."
A groan left your lips as you fell back on his bed and Beck knew that there was an intervention on the horizon. He set your cell phone aside and looked over at you when you poked him gently, knowing exactly what the grin on your lips meant.
"Do you have any idea how sexy you are?"
A chuckle left his lips as he shook his head, "You can be grounded."
"All the more reason to make the most of these moments we have together."
Beck jokingly sighed and you swatted his chest, making him laugh as he hovered over you. "Just so you know, if she knocks on my door, I will be moving."
"We can leave together so no one can disturb us. We can visit on holidays."
You smiled when he kissed you hotly, wrapping your arms around his neck as you melted into the kiss. Beck kissed down your neck as he murmured, "No." He lifted his head to meet your confused gaze, "You cannot post that picture anywhere."
You smiled, giggling lightly, "Your eyes only."
Buck bowed his head, and your eyes closed as he kissed paths across your skin, toying with the hem of your shirt as he murmured against your skin. "I love how naughty you are. Got any more surprises for me?"
Your eyes twinkled at his words and you knew your open flirtatiousness was rubbing off on him. You ran your hands beneath his shirt, feeling him shiver as your touch ghosted over his skin.
"Always."
When you returned home that night, as you expected, your mother confronted you about the text message and the photo. You were grounded for a month. Beck wasn't allowed to drive you to and from Hollywood Arts and so you only saw him through lunch breaks and shared classes. You had bought Andre and Tori gifts, in the hopes of bribing them into forgiving you, and Andre appreciated the little card that apologized for their trauma.
It became a joke between the four of you. Andre and Tori would tease Beck when he was smirking at his cell phone and now and then Andre would jokingly ask why you didn't love him anymore since you never sent him flirty messages. It baffled the others when the two would laugh when Beck was smirking at his phone and Cat would join in, not understanding what was funny.
Beck knew you all too well and knew that sometimes you sent the messages just to add fuel to the fire.
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leeny-leens · 5 months ago
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Scents and Warmth
Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!Reader
Summary: There was nothing that could melt his heart quite the way her scent and warmth did, especially after a long day.
Content: fluff, glasses wearing reader, history nerd reader, established relationship
Warnings: tiny mentions of a negative self image from Theo, nothing too strong
WC: 2.63k
A/N: originally wrote this for myself but I decided to change it up and post it, lmk your thoughts 🫶✨
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Theodore's eyes scanned the room, irritation gnawing at the edges of his mind. He had a feeling she was here, yet save for a few first years spread across the common room, his beloved was nowhere to be seen. Just as he was about to give up and make his way to her room to look for her, he spied the colour of her hair at the corner of his vision, prompting him to turn around.
He stepped closer, rounding a corner hidden behind bookshelves and there she was; tucked away behind the recluse of the shelves, seated by a table near the glass wall.
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes taking in the appearance of his girlfriend who was evidently, deep in thought. She had that ghastly, pale yellow zip up on, the one he swore he'd throw away one of those days because it was just that ugly, a few splotches already present on the fabric. He wouldn't be caught dead admitting that, but he actually loved that sweater on her; it was just loose enough to pool beautifully around her upper hips and the colour brought a pretty contrast to her hair that had her looking like a mesmerising painting. And god that hair, that he adored so much was all shiny and put up, a few strands loosely escaping the metal claw clip. By the looks of her hair, she'd probably taken a shower today, and Theo stepped closer once more to observe her with furrowed eyebrows. It was a Monday, and she rarely ever took showers on Mondays. Something about her routine and how she needed to shower on Sunday night so she could feel clean for a new week. It didn't make sense to him, partly because he showered every other day, but as long as she was happy, he really didn't care. His mind returned to Saturday night, where she'd detailed how busy her Sunday would be, filled with homework, revisions and a much needed deep clean of her dorm room. Theodore concluded that his idiot had overexerted herself, leaving her with no energy to shower at the end of the day and thus she'd probably woken up two hours earlier than needed to do that this morning.
He was close enough to see her expression now; eyebrows furrowed slightly and her jaw tense as her quill scratched rhythmically against parchment. There were various books splayed open around her and occasionally, the scratching stopped in favour of turning pages in one of the books and low murmurs as she spoke to herself. Her glasses sat askew atop her nose bridge, a soft smile tugged at Theo's mouth when he realized she was so focused she didn't even bother fixing them after they'd slid down her nose.
After years of friendship, and almost two years of dating the girl he loved so much, he knew better than to startle her out of her deep focus, opting to slowly step into her space instead. Standing behind her, he tapped her shoulder softly, coughing to catch her attention and leaned down into her field of vision. “Hey bella," he whispered softly, his voice smooth and low in her ear. Her focus had been broken the moment he tapped her, and she turned to look at him with a dazed expression, as if trying to remember where she was and what was going on. That expression however, quickly morphed into a bright grin, her eyes twinkled up at him with adoration and fondness that could melt even the most frigid of hearts. “Hey Theo,” she whispered back and Theo noted the slight hoarseness of her voice with amusement, an indicator that she’d been mostly silent in her endeavours.
So close to her now, her scent hit Theo’s senses hard and he found his brain quickly melting at that. He'd never thought of himself as a guy who'd succumb to something as primal as scent, yet he couldn't help it whenever she was near, especially on the days where he knew she'd taken meticulous care to smell good. Strawberry notes mingled together with floral wisps and her beloved perfume. Gods, the smell of her perfume had his head spinning in a haze. Driven by instinct, he buried his head in the crook of her neck, not caring that her hair tickled his face as he inhaled her scent. Merlin, he wanted to drown in it, never smell anything else but her and have that be what he last sensed as he took his dying breathe.
“Theo?” her voice echoed, the confusion quickly morphing into breathy gasps as he began to press light kisses into her neck. “Yes, tesoro?” his focus was on the feel of her skin against his lips, the smooth curve of her neck and the lightly trembles as he continued to ambush her with kisses and affection.
Theodore almost let out a whine when he felt her push his face away, her eyes narrowed playfully as she stared up at him. “What are you doing?”
“Loving you?” he hadn’t meant for it to sound like a question, mainly because Theodore Nott was never unsure of things. He was poised, calm and calculated, meticulous attention to details, from the way he walked down to the way the strands atop his head layed. Yet with her, in that secluded corner of the common room, her smell enveloping him after a long day, he found himself reduced into that soft and domestic version of himself only she could bring out.
He looked at her, blue seas clashed against a galaxy full of love and her face softened visibly at his expression. “Oh, my sweet boy,” her hands tugged on his arms, guiding him around to sit beside her on the plush seat, “Love me all you want darling, I'm yours to love anyway”. It was a tight fit, much to Theodore's glee, and he shamelessly took the opportunity to lift her up and manoeuvre her into his lap.
Any sounds of protest died in her throat as one of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other became entangled in her hair, gently scratching and massaging her scalp with soft yet guided movements. He once more buried his head in the crook of her neck, occasionally pressing kisses to her skin as he smiled against her. “Whatcha working on, amore?” his eyes wandered between the books, trying to make out their subject, searching for any clues in what his beloved might be up to. He hadn't seen her much today or yesterday, regrettably, and he was itching to spend some time with her, just soaking up her presence to feel alive and breathe after facing the suffocating weight of existing as himself.
It was practiced routine by now, she didn't think when her left hand tangled into his, the one around her waist, to play with his fingers as her right one picked up the quill again. “History of magic” she pointed to the book closest to her notes and Theo finally recognized it as the textbook for that ever so dreaded subject. He raised his eyebrows, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Really? We don't even get homework in that class,” that had never stopped his overachiever of writing essays for said class, but he chose to forgo that piece of information now. “It's not an essay or homework,” she said, huffing as she pulled her notes closer for him to inspect. “I'm making notes so I can tutor our idiot friends,” after a beat of silence, Theodore found himself shaking with suppressed laughter at the absurdity of the situation. Their 'idiot' friends were mainly brilliant students, within the top of their grade and he wondered what on earth she'd be tutoring them for. Of course, History of Magic was a bit of a sore subject for everyone at Hogwarts considering Professor Binns was gods awful at teaching, but he didn't think it was dire enough for his friends to get tutored. Someone like Draco, or god forbid Mattheo, would rather die before getting any sort of tutoring.
He didn't to say any of that, voice any of his questions or thoughts because somehow she just knew it all without him saying a word. She always had known, always seen through him like it was the most natural thing. It had been that way since the day they first met, all the way back on the boats that led to Hogwarts in their first year, she'd seen through him with ease and no amount of walls or masks could deter her from seeking out the true Theodore Nott, the one she knew to be hiding underneath the charades. Once upon a time it had scared him to death, having someone see him for who he was, with all the darkness and broken, sharp edges and all that ugliness he kept under wraps. But she wasn't scared of him, she looked straight at his madness and called it her home, nestled herself into the crevices of those sharp edges and taught him to look at himself and not run away. She looked at him as if he were the sun, the moon, the stars all at the same time and held him with such tenderness as if he'd break under her touch any second. And sometimes, he did break into shambles, reduced into nothing but dust. And every single time she was there to hold him, let him break in peace before helping him gather it all up once he was ready.
She didn't let him ask, she simply answered the questions that swirled in his mind without hesitation. “Other subjects require more work at the moment,” she explained “and what kind of friend, no, what kind of history nerd would I be if I didn't help them tackle the workload?”
He hasn't forgotten of course, that his little minx was an absolute sucker for history. It didn't matter what kind, Magic or Muggle history, she would devour it all the same. He still remembered one of their first interactions, both seated together at the back of the room in History of Magic, bored to death by Binns’ lecture before she turned to him and began to explain random historical facts about the subject. He’d listened intently, taking in every word like she was a preacher reading scripture and that had pretty much determined the course of their relationship for the years to come. Theo would sit and listen to her talk for hours, no exaggeration. She had that scatterbrained way of talking about everything and nothing, about writing ideas or books she'd been into, history or psychology or art or whatever other interest had captured her attention, revisiting memories or plans for the future for hours and hours on end. And Theo would sit right there, undivided attention as he listened to every word that spilled from lips.
So of course, it made sense she wouldn't pass up an opportunity to nerd out about her interest, especially if she got to help her friends with one fell swoop. Though the likes of Draco might whine and complain, all of them knew to appreciate her offers of help and support with any and all subjects. She made something as boring as History of Magic sound like the most interesting topic ever, so who would pass up a chance to let her help with coursework?
“Wanna explain it to me then, bella?” his face was nuzzled impossibly close into her neck, almost melting into it as he let her scent surround and calm him. He wouldn't usually be caught dead with such a blatant display of vulnerable affection, yet the day has rendered him weary and in need of her safety. Plus, it wasn't like those pesky first years would come over and disturb them, much less spare a glance into their general direction. It was an unspoken rule to never bother Theodore Nott or his girl if they were sitting in some secluded corner, even outside of the common room, lest you wanted to get in trouble that you'd never see the end of.
And so, Theo allowed himself to sink into her, melt away and leave behind all of his worries, all the weight he'd carried throughout the day and listen to her voice as she rambled on and on about history and her teaching endeavours. Occasionally, he'd throw in a question or a remark about something she'd said, causing her to fall silent in contemplation or to scribble away in her notes with that brilliant smile etched across her face, the one that rivaled every light source in the universe with it's brilliance and beauty.
He could feel his muscles relax, tension seeping out of his body as both his arms come to wrap around her waist, holding her closer until they were basically melting into eachother. Her rambling came to an abrupt stop and Theo grumbled as he looked up from her neck, silently questioning why she'd stopped talking. “Wanna go nap, darling?” the question caught him off guard, yet a quick glance to his watch indicated that they had about two and a half hours before dinner, perfect for a nap in his dorm. And really, what sort of madman would he be if he declined her request to spend time with him, away from preying eyes in the comfort of his bed?
He nodded in response, nudging her gently off his lap as he began to help her pack up her things before dragging her up the stairs to his dorm. The entire way, his hand never once left the small of her back and he felt that familiar haze return as his senses became clouded with her scent. Gods, he thanked everything that had caused her to delay her usual showering plans. Holding her in his arms when she smelled that divine after a long and exhausting day was a blessing in and out of itself. And when he felt her halt her steps, tugging his face down to meet hers, their lips connecting in a soft and tender kiss? Yeah, he could've melted right there and then.
With one hell of a love sick smile, he ushered her into his thankfully empty dorm room, her bag immediately discarded on the floor as he pushed her onto the bed. It was a short tangle of limbs and clothing before they both settled into the plush comfort. Theo laid atop her her chest, his arms wrapped around her midriff as her hands traced patterns and shapes across his neck and scalp. He wouldn't say it loud, never needed to do that with her anyway, but he enjoyed laying on her chest like that. Listening to her calming heartbeat, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, and above all the sensation of her warm breathe fanning across his face? It turned him into a blissful mess every time, grateful that she was alive and real and that he got to hold and love her like that.
As if reading his thoughts once more, she gave his soft locks a gentle tug before leaning down to place a kiss on the top of his head
“I love you.”
“I love you too, cara mia.”
The sound of their breathe evened out as both of them slipped into blissful sleep, safe and comforted with the scent and warmth of one another.
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pandora-writes-one-piece · 6 months ago
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The Meet Cute - Law's Story - 16
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Source for pic
The Great Pretender 16
Word Count: 4260
Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Law is a soft dom; you have bratty tendencies (not all the time); voice kink; praise kink; cursing; very suggestive behaviour and innuendo from the start; sexual tension; teasing; so much flirting; romance; slow-burn; fluff; slight angst; mature audiences (though explicit NSFW moments will be properly tagged on the chapter); possessive Law; protective Law; soft Law; teasing Law; manipulative Doflamingo; inappropriate Doflamingo; fake relationship trope; only one-bed trope; reader has some anxiety issues; reader is a control freak and perfectionist; modern day AU; Mention of ex mentally abusive relationship;
Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.
Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Law (your father's doctor) start to build a flirty friendship because of your father’s procedure. So much so that when he’s invited to Baby 5’s wedding (his cousin), he asks you to be his date. His uncle Doflamingo - who is filthy rich - is very adamant on finding a suitable wife for him. Seeing as he wants to avoid that, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend.
Notes: The angst arrives in full force! How about that!? Come on, you had to be expecting that! Also, I'm thinking about two chapters left (well, one and the epilogue), so we're almost at the end! PS: This song fits the chapter like a glove! *chef's kiss*
|Masterlist| | |Chapter 15| | |Chapter 17|
The night is almost over. Just a few more dances before the guests send the newlyweds off to their honeymoon, and then you and Law can escape back into the safety of your room. Just one hour, tops. What could go wrong in an hour?
Even more so now that you’ve finally confessed the three words that have been bothering you for a while. And they were reciprocated.
You’re adamant about not letting go of Law’s hand for the rest of the night. A feeling of dread still coils in the pit of your stomach, and you don’t know exactly why, but you’re not about to let fate play a prank on you.
Except, fate’s got nothing on Donquixote Doflamingo. 
“Nephew, I need you. It’s urgent.” Law groans, his hand tightening around yours, since this is clearly Doffy's last opportunity to feed some lie to Law and try to break you two apart. You’re honestly tired of it all. 
“Tomorrow, Uncle. I’m tired.”
“Now.” Doflamingo’s tone leaves no room for discussion, and Law clenches his jaw. Underneath it all, Law still respects his uncle. You’re not quite sure why he still respects the man, he’s despicable, but you suspect it’s because he instilled in Law a deep-seated sense of family ties and loyalty. And Law won’t break free of his morals. 
“Go. I have to freshen up anyway.” You whisper with a smile. You’ve confessed. He knows how you feel. Nothing will come between the two of you. 
Law smiles at you, and with a last squeeze of your hand, he lets you go. 
-*-
You purposefully take a while longer in the bathroom, fixing your makeup, your hair, and your dress. Unnecessary moves, really, since you’re about to leave to go to bed soon, and you’re actually craving that massage Law mentioned earlier. 
That and… well, you’re craving Law. Period.
You exit the bathroom with a silly smile still plastered on your lips and almost bump into a chest. “Oh, forgive me, I–... Ichiji.” 
Obviously.
“Fancy seeing you here.” He begins.
“Cut the crap.” You don’t even let him say anything else, already pushing past him to return to the reception tent, but he halts you, a hand on your upper arm, and you seethe. “What did I tell you about touching me?”
He lets go of you immediately, taking a step back and sighing while passing a hand over his coiffed hair. “Right, sorry.”
Sorry? 
You look behind you and around, trying to notice if something feels out of place. You might have entered a portal to some sort of alternate universe when you were in the bathroom because there’s no way in hell Ichiji would ever apologise to you.
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Doll. For… well…” He sighs again, steps forward, and then back again. “For cheating, for treating you like crap, for taking you for granted… I… well, I know now it’s too late, but seeing you happy with someone else made me realise what I lost and how I was the only one to blame.”
No, seriously, there has to have been a portal back there. Something, anything. This is not happening. 
Your heart constricts in your chest. You lost count of how many times you dreamed about Ichiji asking for your forgiveness, to truly repent for what he put you through. But it happening here, in a place you'd never thought you'd meet him, and completely out of the blue? 
What's his game? 
“I don't think you need my forgiveness to move on. I know I don't need your apologies.” A heavy sigh parts your lips. “Not when you're delivering them far too late.”
You make another motion to pass through him, but he moves in front of you and whispers your name in a desperate plea. “I do need your forgiveness. I need closure.” 
What? You cock your eyebrow, your lips twisting down in a frown. “After all you've put me through for–...” You wave your hands in the air. “I’m not even going to count the years we spent together. Just today is enough! After all the theatrics and the taunting, you expect me to believe you just want closure?”
The way he slumps his shoulders and downcasts his eyes reminds you of the first times you argued, back in the beginning of the relationship, when you actually believed his apologies, and your heart constricts some more at all the memories. 
“Yes, Doll. Just closure. I'm about to leave the party, and I know we won't meet again, unless it's by chance, and I don't want us to part on bad terms.” He takes a tentative step your way. “Just say you'll forgive me, please.”
You want him out of your sight, out of your mind, and completely out of your heart. You know you don't love him anymore, but you still hold memories and feelings of nostalgia, and when he's looking at you with puppy-dog eyes, you can't help but soften up a little bit. He does seem sorry. 
“Fine, Ichiji, fine. We can part ways on lighter terms. I don't completely forgive you for what you took from me or for how you made me feel, but I won't resent you for it anymore.”
He actually smiles at you. Not that conceited, smug smirk, but a genuine smile. 
“That's all I ask for, Doll.”
“Good. Goodbye.”
“Wait, please.” Is that pain in his voice? Is he really sorry and repentant for everything? You don’t say anything, but you don’t move either, just waiting for what he wants to say. “Can I get one last hug?”
The face you make must have been something special to look at because he grimaces and chuckles softly, his hand passing through his hair again. 
“A harmless hug? Please? It’s just for–...”
“Closure, right?” Should you? He’s actually sounding human for once in all the time you’ve known him, and he does seem sorry. It’s just a hug goodbye. What harm can it bring? “Fine. Make it quick.”
With a sigh, you let him bend down to envelop you in his arms, but then you actually smile. You don’t feel anything. No rage, no pain, no hurt, no longing… it’s just a void. You know there used to be something there, but now you’re free.
It’s a wonderful feeling, actually. 
Until Ichiji’s hands cup your face, and he tilts your head to the side, doing the same to his and leaning in further, his lips inches away from yours. His taller frame engulfs you, and the lights are very dim near the bathroom. It almost looks as if you’re sharing a kiss. 
“Wha–...”
“I still win, Doll.”
A cold shiver runs down your spine as he shows you the same smug smile he always did, his canines almost glistening with glee. You’re frozen in place. What does he mean? 
And then he parts, leaving you open-mouthed, chest heaving, and cheeks flushed from trying to grasp what is going on. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to adjust to two figures looming at the entrance of the hallway that leads to the bathrooms. 
Doflamingo and… oh, no.
“Law?”
Doffy is bent down, one arm around Law’s shoulders, his lips moving fast as he mouths words into Law’s ears. You can almost bet he’s spewing lies and deceptions about you, twisting everything to make Law doubt you. You know he has trouble trusting people, it would be so easy to make him doubt.
But what breaks you is Law���s expression. His usually stoic face bears the signs of hurt, and he’s clenching his fists by his sides, jaw ticking, trying to contain his emotions and failing at it. 
“Law!” You try again, taking a step forward and see Doffy still speaking into Law’s ear. Lies, all lies, for sure. Law’s gaze falls on Ichiji and then back at you, and you realise that this was orchestrated. It has to have been orchestrated. 
Ichiji holding you as if he were kissing you, Doffy bringing Law by the bathroom? It was their ultimate move.
“It’s not what you think, Law.” You take another step forward, and you can almost hear the shards of Law’s flimsy trust being broken and shattered into pieces. 
He shakes his head and takes a step back, hand flying over his head to tousle his hair. “I… I need some air.” Turning on his heel, he leaves you in a hurry, and you stifle a sob. 
No, no, no.
You need to reach him, to speak with him and let him know what happened. That nothing actually happened! He can’t possibly think you would betray him like this. Turning your wobbly steps into strides, you try to follow Law’s retreating figure into the crowd, despair tugging at your insides, tears already threatening to fall.
And then you’re stopped by a strong hand on your arm. “Where do you think you’re going, princesa?” 
An actual growl leaves your lips. “Let go, Doflamingo. I need to speak with Law.” Your tug does nothing to loosen his grip, and you seethe. 
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He tuts, his fiery eyes boring deep into yours. “You won’t speak to my nephew. Not now, nor ever again. You’ll leave him alone to live his life and disappear.”
Shaking your head, you try again, but his grip is too strong. “He needs to listen to me! He’s going to be heartbroken. It’s not what he thinks.”
“He’ll be fine. He has a family that loves him.” Doffy’s words sound melodic, but the melody is one of doom, not hope. 
“Only Cora loves him, clearly.” Your scoff comes accompanied by stubborn tears you’re trying to keep enclosed. “All I’ve ever wanted from Law was love, all I have to give to him is love. Why do you want to take that away? Do you hate him that much?”
Doflamingo straightens his shoulders, and now he seems impossibly high. “On the contrary, cariño. I love him dearly. And it’s because I love him that I need him to learn this lesson. I thought he had already learned it the hard way, but he didn’t. Romantic love only brings weakness. It doesn’t do him any kindness, and he needs to let that go. He needs to be strong and in control, not a fool in love.”
Finally, your harsh tug makes him release you, but his imposing figure is still blocking the way. You stamp your feet, much like a small child, and grit your teeth, anger making your eyes blaze red. “You think that makes him stronger? Is that why you push the people that love him away?”
He shakes his head, those annoying tuts leaving his lips as he gives you a condescending look. “Not at all. Only those that do not.”
“Then you are a damned fool.” He growls at your disrespect, and you couldn’t care less. He lost any small ounce of respect you might’ve still held for him when he pulled this stunt. “Because if you hadn’t interfered, I would still be by Law’s side, and I love him!”
Doffy’s laugh comes in small waves, his eyes shining with amusement as he sizes you up with his fiery gaze. “An admirable sentiment, mi querida, though I doubt it to be true.” You open your mouth, ready to be disrespectful again, but he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an all-too-familiar device: your tablet. 
With a flick of his finger, he opens it to the spreadsheet you now know by heart: all of Law’s likes and dislikes, every useful thing for your fake relationship, every piece of information you and Law gathered to make sure you were prepared for this event. 
You can’t help the stutter that leaves your lips, nor the red flushing your cheeks. “Law… he.. Law knew about that.” Why does your voice sound so small? Is it because you were caught?
“I’m sure.” His demeanour contradicts his words. And then he hands you the tablet, a frown finally overtaking his mocking smile, and you almost shrink at how his aura suddenly feels very threatening. “You’re done here. You will never speak to my nephew again.”
Tears sting your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. Doflamingo can’t win this, not after what you and Law went through. Not after realising he’s the love of your life. 
“You can’t do that.” Your voice comes out as a mere trembling whisper. “You can’t pull strings and control Law’s life as if he’s a puppet and you’re his puppeteer! He has a say in his own life!” You try to take a step forward, but he doesn’t budge. “I’ll tell him what happened, and he’ll realise I never meant to hurt him. Just let me through!”
“You’re done.”
“Law has a right to make his own choices. You don’t own him!” The pesky tears start to stain your cheeks, you feel impotent and useless. 
“Not choices that will end up destroying him.”
“The ones you are making for him might do just that.” Your voice finally breaks, and a ragged sob leaves your lips with the weight and the helplessness of it all. “He is not your pawn! You can’t manipulate him like this! Please… please! Let me speak to him! You’ll truly destroy him with this…”
Law placed his trust in you. After what he’s been through with Monet, you know it must not have been easy to let himself love and be loved. And Doflamingo manipulated you both to an extent that will come with dire consequences. Law will be broken, and so will you.
“I will face whatever consequences come from my actions with Law. He might be hurt for a while, but he will emerge stronger. He has done it once.”
“But at what cost?” You whisper, too drained to fight back. With a shaky inhale, you straighten your shoulders as your hands grip the tablet for some sort of grounding. “I’ll speak to him later, then. You can’t keep us apart. You will not ruin what we have.”
Pushing past him, you take one full step before Doflamingo’s words freeze you in place. 
“I would rethink that if I were you, querida.” Something in his voice halts your breathing as you look over your shoulder and find him grinning. “Your father is still recovering from surgery, right? Some businesses collapse pretty quickly when something like this happens… no one would look twice.”
What?
“Is that a threat?” Doffy certainly has the power to ruin your father’s horse business. 
Waving his hands in the air in a dismissive manner, his smirk returns to his lips, more menacing this time. “Oh no, no. I don’t make threats… they’re too amateurish.” His laugh fills your ears, and the same shiver as before courses through your veins. “It’s more of a prediction.”
Gathering strength and bravado you do not have, you square your shoulders and lift your chin. “My father is strong, and he has my help. We’ll manage.” Turning your face forward, you will your feet to move again.
“How brave. So what about Law’s clinic?” Your breath stops so suddenly that you almost think you have a collapsed lung. He can’t be serious. “I won’t be cryptic, cariño, here’s the deal: if you speak to Law again, I’ll make sure his clinic tanks. And you know how much he loves that little place, with his friends and helping people.” He tsks and waves his hand dismissively. “I would much rather he dedicated himself to the company, so perhaps you would be doing me a favour. Law, on the other hand? Now that would devastate him.”
“Please, don’t…” You don’t know what else to do. Doflamingo is too powerful, too influential. He will destroy Law either way and claim to be helping him while doing it. You feel trapped, what can you do? “Please don’t do that to him.”
“I don’t want to. I do love him. But that depends on you.” Doflamingo sets one hand on your shoulder to turn you back to face him. “There’s a car waiting for you outside with all your belongings. You will leave the party immediately with Ichiji, as it will help sell the ruse.” 
Your legs start to wobble as breath begins to catch in your throat again. Powerless. Completely stripped of any will. That’s how you’re feeling. 
“You will not speak with Law today, nor ever. Not even when you both go back to your boring little lives. He’ll think you abandoned him, which suits me, really. No one needs a gold digger.”
“I’m not–...”
“I don’t care!” Doflamingo leans in, and his breath fans your face. He’s as angry as you’ve ever seen anyone, and you can almost see the veins pulsating dangerously in his neck. “You’re a distraction and a liability. Law doesn’t need any of that.”
“Everybody needs love…” Is this your last hail Mary? Because it’s not a very strong one.
“Not the Donquixote family.” He steps back and motions Ichiji forward. “Leave. Don’t speak to Law. It’s simple, I’m sure you can follow that, princesa.” He chuckles again while fixing his tie and suit. “Or else…” 
The words he leaves unsaid are a weight on your soul. You can’t think, you can’t breathe, you can barely exist. All you know is that Law is somewhere, hurting, thinking you betrayed his trust.
And the fact that you will leave without any explanation will only cement that feeling. 
You thought you’d been heartbroken before - exhibit A is currently walking by your side, leading you away from the party with a hand on your back that you’re too tired to swat away - but you’ve never been hurt like this.
This pain is visceral. It burns, it blisters, it festers, and it destroys. 
You’re not actually sure you’ll ever recover from this. 
-*-
Law was taken away from you by Doflamingo yet again, and as his uncle drones on about business and about the imminent merger, all Law can think about is you in his arms and the peace you bring him.
“Are you listening to me, Law?”
“No, Uncle, I’m not. It’s late, and I’m tired.” He yawns for effect and shrugs. “I’m going to bed.” But before he can retreat, Doflamingo sighs and slings his hand over Law’s shoulder.
“Fine, Law. But first, I’ve made some assumptions during this weekend, and I need you to tell me if I’m right or wrong.” Law sighs and nods. Agreeing with Doffy is the fastest way to get rid of him. He starts leading Law back into the party, and Law follows without giving it much thought. 
“I know you and the little princesa were not a couple before this weekend. I’m actually doubting that you are a couple at this moment… and my assumption is: you told her you didn’t want to come to my daughter’s wedding without a date because I tend to introduce you to a lot of respectable young ladies you don’t relate to. So, to avoid that, she offered to come as your date. Am I right?”
Law already knew Doffy had discovered that bit of your ruse, so he doesn’t act surprised, he acts resigned. 
“Almost. I was the one who asked her.” Law grins. “The ladies you introduce me to are not respectable. Half of the ones I met proposed to do very salacious things to me in very public places.”
Doffy grins back at him, and Law sighs while shaking his head. 
“You got that half-right, Doffy. Are you happy?”
“Not in the least. You see, Law, what I think is that the young lady realised the family you belonged to and decided to take advantage of that fact by seducing you. Is that a correct assumption?”
“Frankly, Uncle, I’m growing tired of that subject. We have already proved to you that we care about each other deeply. And even if we didn’t, we don’t have to prove anything to you anymore. This is my choice, and you will not interfere in it.”
Doffy tilts his head and nods, a mysterious smile playing on his lips as he leads Law to the bathroom. 
“Fair enough. But… Nephew… do you truly believe she cares that much about you? Do you think she loves you?” A small chuckle escapes his lips. “I thought you were done with being naive…”
Law grits his teeth while his heart clenches in his chest. Doflamingo’s words always have a way of penetrating his skull and making him doubt everything. “She loves me. I know that.” He didn’t mean to sound so defensive, but then again, Doffy had no reason to attack him. 
“I hope, for your sake, that you are right.” Doffy brings one hand to his chest and bows his head slightly. “I would hate to see you blindsided. Again.” His emphasis on the word ‘again’ brings hurtful memories of Monet back to Law’s mind, and he grunts. 
“We’re fine, Doffy. Thank you for your concern.” Law is about to turn and leave, but Doffy holds him by the shoulder and directs his gaze towards the dimly lit hallway of the bathroom. 
“Oh… would you look at that, then…”
Law instantly freezes, his brain showing him tricks. It has to be tricks. There’s no way that’s you wrapped in Ichiji’s arms. Law can only see the back of Ichiji’s hulking frame, but that’s your dress he sees peeking from the side, those are your hands holding his waist.
And now he’s cupping your cheeks, leaning… no.
A kiss?
Law shakes his head, denial, frustration, and… betrayal. That’s the word echoing in his head incessantly. Where once were your ‘I love you’s’ now stood that shadow of a word. Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal…
“You see, Law,” Doffy leans against Law’s ear, his venomous tongue spewing hurtful words. Words that ring true, too close to Law’s heart. Too at home with his pain. “She’s no different from Monet, really… they both traded you, broke your trust.”
Law’s throat is dry, and he feels little sweat beads trickling down his sideburns. The nails digging into the flesh of his hand cut little crescent indents, trying to ground him, trying to pull him back from the pitfall of despair he’s about to be sucked into. 
“Love hurts, Nephew. Love tears and destroys. You can only trust your family or you should trust only yourself.”
Doffy keeps talking, but Ichiji breaks from you, and there’s a mix of confusion and distress on your face as your eyes meet Law’s. And then there’s panic as you whisper his name.
This can’t be happening. You wouldn’t do this to him. Not you.
“Law!” 
Your plea is clear, but he can’t think straight. It’s too much, it’s too painful. 
“Don't believe her lies, Law. You know what you saw.” Doffy murmurs. 
“I… I need some air.” Law’s voice comes out as a mere whisper as he turns and disappears. The air suddenly feels rare, his chest too tight. 
There’s not enough room in the world to harbour the size of this betrayal. It’s too much. 
-*-
The coolness of the outside air does nothing to soothe him. It still feels stifling, and the control is slipping away from his fingers. Running his hand through his hair in a desperate gesture only brings him more heartache. 
Why?
Law keeps thinking about your pain and grief when you spoke about Ichiji. How could you return to the man who hurt you so? 
Maybe you didn’t.
No. Law knows what he saw. You were in Ichiji’s arms.
But he didn’t see a kiss.
There was no mistaking it. He held your face and–... and what? Could he have forced you? Were you held against your will? Law tries hard to unscramble his jumbled memories, but the pain in his chest is so heavy that he barely knows where to start.
He didn’t see a kiss. Of that, he’s certain. Could he be overthinking it? What if it was nothing, or if he forced you? And instead of helping you or hearing your words, Law panicked? Hadn’t he promised you not to listen to Doffy’s words? 
Yet that was exactly what he did. 
Fuck.
Did he get this all wrong? Law sighs and inhales deeply three times, trying to calm his ragged breaths and his uneven heart. He knows you. You wouldn’t do that to him, let alone with a man who hurt you so deeply.
There has to be an explanation for what happened, and he’s ready to listen to it.
Turning around, Law returns to the party, hoping you’re still somewhere near so he can speak with you and listen to what you have to say, to what really happened, to the truth.
He’s expecting to find you frantically looking for him, and his heart is already constricting from the anxiety you must be feeling. He should’ve just stayed a while longer. You would have explained, and neither he nor you would have had to panic. 
But what he wasn’t expecting was to see you leaving the party. He wasn’t expecting to see Ichiji’s hand resting against your lower back, silently guiding you through the remaining guests. He wasn’t expecting to see you walking out with him.
Willingly. 
So it was the truth.
Law’s heart breaks completely, the full extent of your betrayal settling in, expanding, and commandeering all of his love for you. Doflamingo was right. It pains him to admit this, but he was.
You’re a liar, and Law was foolish enough to trust you.
Tag List:@rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @rainbow2312 @alexturnersgirl
|Chapter 17|
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sidekick-hero · 1 year ago
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I can't stop thinking of Eddie as Cyrano de Bergerac.
He's in the drama club, he's known for his way with words, his ability to bring whole worlds to life with them. Few people know that he also writes poetry, poems about love and loss, society and justice, whatever comes to his mind. Many of them are about a mysterious person with gold-flecked eyes and autumn hair, constellations on his skin, and the sun in his heart.
Eddie guards his notebook full of poems like a dragon guards his hoard of gold. And yet.
And yet Susie Bowers finds it where it fell out of his pocket when that asshole Tommy Hagan pushed him against the lockers. She reads it and realizes how devastatingly beautiful Eddie's words are.
It makes her think… think about her crush on Steve Harrington, the fallen king who is still the most eligible bachelor at Hawkins High. Especially since he refuses to just take girls home to fuck them. No, he wants to date. He wants to fall in love. It's catnip for everyone, but at the same time so frustrating because no girl has managed to catch his eye yet.
Maybe this little notebook is her ticket to a relationship with Steve Harrington.
She approaches Eddie and shows him the notebook, pulling it out of his reach as he attempts to grab it. She offers him a deal: she won't spread copies of all his cute little writings all over the school, exposing his deepest secrets for everyone to see and ridicule. In exchange, Eddie will help her sweet-talk Steve Harrington.
Eddie agrees and writes love letters to the boy he's been in love with ever since he found him drunk and depressed on the side of the road after his girlfriend dumped him. He had taken him home, listened to him ramble on about what he had done wrong, why no one would want to love him, and then put Steve to bed and watched him sleep until morning to make sure he was okay.
He left before Steve woke up, and the next time they saw each other at school, Steve didn't even look at him. It had broken his heart and inspired most of his poems, because nothing inspires like heartbreak.
And now Eddie can tell Steve all the things he thinks and feels about him - just to make it seem like it's written by Susie.
It seems to work, because Steve replies to her letters. His replies are simpler, less lyrical, but just as earnest. His words are sweet, and he's funny and thoughtful.
He's everything Eddie knew he was going to be. And Susie couldn't care less, she just wants to go out with him, have him take her home, have everyone know that she's Steve Harrington's girlfriend.
They go out. After a dozen letters, he gives in and asks her out.
Eddie cries himself to sleep that night.
Someone knocks on his bedroom window. Confused and a bit nervous, because he doesn't have only friends in this town, far from it, he goes to open it.
And finds Steve Harrington standing right outside his window.
"What -"
"Did you mean them?" Steve asks and he can't tell from his tone what he's thinking.
"What?"
"Your letters, did you mean what you wrote or did you just write down what you thought I wanted to hear so I'd go out with Susie?"
His tone doesn't really change, but Eddie can see his eyes shining in the dim light coming from his bedroom. He looks upset, and Eddie wants to fix it, but he doesn't know what answer would do that.
So he chooses the truth. "Yes. I meant every single word I wrote in those letters."
"Then why didn't you send them under your own name?" When did Steve get so close? And why is the window sill digging into his stomach?
At Steve's question, Eddie can't help but laugh bitterly. "Did you look at me, Steve? I'm the town freak! A fuckup. Trailer trash. A small-time drug dealer who failed his senior year. Why would anybody - why would you want to get love letters from me?"
Steve nods, not saying a word as he turns and walks away. And okay, he deserves it, he guesses. Hanging his head in defeat, he shuffles away from the window and face plants on his bed, letting fresh tears fall from his eyes.
Until there's another knock, this time at his front door.
He's out of bed in record time, almost breaking his neck in his haste to get to the door. It can't be - it's impossible that this is -
Steve is standing on his front porch, looking devastatingly handsome in his light-washed Levi's and red sweater. His date outfit.
He walks up to him before Eddie can say anything and cups his cheek.
"I've been looking at you, Eddie. All I've done since the night you brought me home and listened to me and took care of me, I've been looking at you. Looking and waiting. Hoping. Wanting you to give me a sign, any sign, that it wasn't just chivalry that made you do this, but the fact that you cared. About me. But you never did."
"Steve," Eddie whispers, but Steve isn't finished.
"And then I get these letters, and all the words, they sound like you. I couldn't be sure, not until I read the line, 'You deserve someone who wants to love you, all of you, the good and the bad and everything in between. I want to be that person. I want to love you.' You're the only one I've ever said that to. I knew it had to be you."
"But why? Why go out with Susie?"
"Because I had to be absolutely sure that it wasn't Susie. And after ten minutes with her, I was. I drove around until I couldn't… I had to talk to you. To see if you mean it. If you want to love me."
Eddie kisses him.
There's nothing else on his mind but the need to finally kiss the boy he's been in love with for almost a year.
Steve kisses him back, soft, tender, then deeper, dirtier.
When they pull apart, both gasping, Eddie leans in closer because his next words are meant for him and Steve and no one else.
"I want to love you long after my body crumbles to dust and my soul finds yours in the afterlife. I want to love you as the ocean does the moon, forever bound, forever following its call, until the end of time."
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03jyh23 · 3 months ago
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💬⌇like i need you part one┆ jeong yunho
│part of goes to waste the series based on my favourite keshi songs
│listen here
│part two
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
non-idol!yunho x non-idol!reader
│synopsis: yunho's love for you burns fiercely. as lovers turned exes, he's left shattered when you leave, moving out of the apartment you once shared. his nights become a blur of desperation, calling you relentlessly, begging for another chance.
│genre: lovers to exes, angst
│(!)trigger warnings:  alcohol abuse, smoking cigarettes, emotional abuse, panic attacks, mental health issues, toxic relationships, vomiting, self-destructive behavior, emotional trauma
│words: 6.1 k
│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.
!minors do not interact!
— hi there! after an unholy amount of time I decided to continue with goes to waste series, i missed writing pure angst so much so... enjoy!!
love, mon♡
│taglist: @skittyneos │ @kyeos4ng │ @vcutparis │ @hoeforalbedo │
│ @ateezswonderland │ @jycas│ @velvetskize │ @e3ellie │
│ @sertralinehoe │
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"Yunho, we’re better off alone," you said with a voice that trembled as you were packing your suitcase in a hurry. "I can't do this anymore," you choked out the urgency to leave was overwhelming; you needed to get out of this apartment. The suffocating weight of guilt and pain made every breath a struggle. Your perfect life with him had become a beautiful prison, and you were desperately clawing your way out. Yunho was crying, his pretty eyes red and swollen from the endless stream of tears. Despite his emotional turmoil, his breathing remained eerily calm, almost as if he had resigned himself to this moment. Each piece of clothing you hastily stuffed into your suitcase, Yunho took out and threw on the floor, his actions a silent but desperate plea for you to reconsider. The room was filled with a tense silence, broken only by the sound of clothes hitting the floor and the occasional sniffle from Yunho.
"I need you to stay," he said, his voice determined as he grabbed your wrist to stop you from taking any more of your belongings. His grip was firm but not painful, a testament to how desperately he wanted to hold on to you. "Please," he whispered, his voice breaking as he grabbed your wrist. His touch was tender despite his desperation. "Baby, please don't go. Whatever I did, I'll fix it. I'll be better, I swear to fucking god, I'll do anything." The raw pain in his voice made your heart shatter into a million pieces. The intensity of his gaze bore into you, pleading for you to reconsider, to see the love and pain in his eyes. The room seemed to shrink around you, the walls closing in. His voice wavered slightly as he continued, "Please, don't leave. We can work this out." The sincerity in his tone was undeniable, "I don’t even know what I did wrong, please talk to me," Yunho said, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions.
"I feel like I'm drowning, Yunho," you confessed, your voice barely audible. "Every day, I wake up and I don't recognize myself anymore. I've lost my dreams, my ambitions... I've become nothing but your girlfriend, and it's killing me." The words felt like poison on your tongue, but they were the truth you'd been avoiding for months.
"That's bullshit!" Yunho's voice cracked with emotion. "I've never tried to stop you from being yourself. I've supported every fucking dream you've ever had!" His free hand clenched into a fist, but even in his anger, his grip on your wrist remained gentle. "Four years, baby. Four fucking years of building a life together, and you're just going to throw it all away? Throw me away?” His eyes blazed with a mix of anger and desperation, his free hand clenching and unclenching as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "You will either tell me the truth or you are not leaving," Yunho said, his voice firm and unwavering. The intensity in his eyes bore into yours, making it clear that he wouldn't back down. "I can't let you walk out of my life without understanding why. Don’t you think I deserve to know the truth?" His grip on your wrist tightened slightly, not out of anger but out of sheer desperation. "Please, just tell me the truth," he pleaded, his voice softening as he searched your eyes for any sign of honesty. "I need to know why you're doing this. I need to understand."
"You're suffocating me with your love," you whispered, tears streaming down your face. "You're so perfect, so goddamn perfect that I can't breathe. Every time I fail, you're there to catch me. Every time I fall, you pick me up. How am I supposed to grow when you never let me face anything on my own?"
Yunho's eyes widened with realization and hurt. "So loving you too much is my crime?" His voice was soft, broken. "Baby, if you need space, I'll give you space. If you need time, take all the time in the world. Just... please don't leave like this."
"It's not that simple," you said, your voice trembling. "I need to find myself again, and I can't do that when every part of my life is intertwined with yours. I wake up to you, I fall asleep to you, I breathe you, I dream you. I've lost myself in you completely."
"Then let me help you find yourself again," he pleaded, his eyes full of unconditional love despite the pain you were causing him. "We can figure this out together. I'll do anything, be anything you need. Just don't throw away everything we have."
"That's exactly the problem," you whispered, gently pulling your wrist from his grip. "You'd sacrifice everything for me, and I can't bear that responsibility anymore. I need to learn to stand on my own two feet."
Yunho took a step back, his hand falling away from your wrist. He looked like he wanted to say something, to argue, to plead with you to stay, but no words came out. Instead, he just stood there, stunned and heartbroken. Yunho looked more vulnerable than you'd ever seen him. "I love you so fucking much it hurts," he finally said, "And if leaving is what you need... if it will make you happy... then go. But know that I'll be right here, waiting, hoping that one day you'll find your way back to me."
You grabbed your only half-packed suitcase, some of your belongings still scattered on the floor where Yunho had thrown them. He observed you, his broken breaths the only sound in the room. "So you don't love me anymore?" he asked, but you couldn't answer him. You knew if you let yourself think about it, if you let yourself feel, you would stay - and that wasn't an option. At the threshold, you turned back one last time. The sight of him - your beautiful, loving Yunho - standing there with tears streaming down his face, still looking at you with nothing but love and understanding, nearly broke your resolve.
You looked down at the floor, unable to bear the heartbreak etched on his face. "I'm sorry," you said, your voice trembling. "I didn't want it to end like this, but I can't keep pretending. It's not fair to either of us.”
"Please..." his voice cracked with desperation, "Tell me you still love me. Even if it's a lie, just say it one more time." His eyes were pleading, filled with tears as he reached for your hand once again. "I need to hear it. Just once more. Please, baby." The raw vulnerability in his voice made your heart shatter all over again. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, knowing that if you did, if you saw the love and pain mixing in those beautiful eyes of his, you’d drop your bag and stay.
You finally broke down and started to cry, a lump forming in your throat as you decided to keep silent. Your hand slipped from his grasp, and the loss of contact felt like losing a piece of yourself. The tears streamed down your face as you watched his fingers curl into empty air where your hand had been just moments before. Your silence spoke volumes - it was both your answer and your goodbye.
As you closed the door behind you, the sound echoing through the empty hallway, you could hear his muffled sobs. Each step away from him felt like a knife in your heart, but you kept walking. Sometimes love isn't enough, and sometimes finding yourself means losing the person who helped you become who you are.
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"Hi Y/N," loud music in the background makes it hard to understand Mingi's voice through the phone. "Could you please come pick Yunho up?’’ the tone of his voice makes it clear that something bad happened, and your mind starts racing with scenarios. "I don't know what’s gotten into him, but he's been drinking non-stop and has already poured liters of alcohol into himself. I've tried everything to get him to leave with me, but he refuses."
"Did he tell you what happened?" you asked as you got up from the sofa, taking the towel off of your freshly washed hair. The urgency in Mingi's voice made your heart pound faster, and you couldn't ignore the knot of worry tightening in your chest.
"All night he didn't say much," Mingi replied, his voice strained. "Just kept mumbling your name and saying he needed you. Please, just come. I'm worried about him." You could hear the genuine concern in Mingi's voice, and it spurred you into action.
"I even called San to help," Mingi added, "You know he's fucking strong but even he couldn't force Yunho up. Poor guy’s so tired he's skipping gym tomorrow. If only Yunho wasn't so goddamn tall, San would've easily picked him up and left with him on his back." Mingi's frustration was palpable, and it only added to the sense of urgency you felt to get to Yunho. You felt your heart sink at the thought of him being in such a state. Despite everything that had happened between you, the idea of him suffering tore at your conscience. Your hands trembled slightly as you grabbed your keys.
"Could you bring his coat with you?" Mingi added, his voice tinged with concern though an edge of irritation was starting to creep in. "It's freezing outside, and this idiot came wearing only a denim jacket. He's going to get sick at this rate."
"Mingi, I..." you sighed heavily, fumbling sounds echoing through the phone as you frantically searched for something to wear. Your heart was already racing with anxiety at what you needed to tell him. "I moved out last week."
The silence that followed was deafening. You could practically feel Mingi's shock radiating through the phone. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely controlled, each word carefully measured. "You... you moved out?"
"As in... you moved out from yours and Yunho's apartment? Alone?" Mingi's voice grew increasingly strained with each question. "Only you moved out? He stayed?" The confusion in his voice gave way to something darker, and you could picture him pacing back and forth, running his hand through his hair in frustration as he tried to process this.
"Yes," you replied, "I moved out last week. Yunho and I... we broke up." The words felt like glass in your throat, cutting deeper with each syllable.
Mingi's breathing became audibly heavier on the other end. "I had no idea," he finally said, his voice now ice-cold. "Yeah, then I guess, um... don't bother coming?" The bitterness in his tone was unmistakable, and you could hear muffled cursing as he turned away from the phone.
"Mingi, please," you begged softly, "I can't just leave him like that."
"Well, haven't you already left him?" Mingi exploded, his voice rising sharply. You could hear the raw anger in his words now, no longer bothering to mask his feelings. "You know what's fucking hilarious? My best friend - my brother - had been drowning himself in alcohol all night, and I had no idea why. And now it all makes sense." His voice cracked slightly with emotion. "Yunho loved you, hell he still loves you, more than anything in this world, without a single doubt. Do you even realize that?" Mingi's breath came out in a shaky exhale, and when he spoke again, his voice was trembling with barely contained rage. "You know, he would never, ever leave you," he said, each word deliberate and cutting. "I've watched him pour his entire heart into making you happy. Every single day, he'd talk about you with stars in his eyes. He'd move heaven and earth just to see you smile. And now..." His voice broke. "Now I'm watching him destroy himself because of you, and it's tearing me apart."
The silence that followed was suffocating. You could hear the distant thump of bass music and Mingi's ragged breathing. "Yunho is in a really fucking bad state right now," he continued, his voice dropping to a dangerous low. "And even though every fiber of my being is screaming not to let you anywhere near him again, he needs you."
"So if you ever truly loved him - if any part of what you had was real - you'll come and help him get through tonight," Mingi's voice was now deadly serious. "We're at Newonce. And let me make something crystal clear: if you don't show up, don't even think about trying to talk to him ever again. I swear to god, I won't let you breathe the same air as him after this."
You hurriedly grabbed your coat with trembling hands and rushed out of your apartment, your mind spinning with a mixture of worry, guilt, and fear. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, and you didn't even know why it was happening. Did your actions really set Yunho on edge? Was he really coping that badly? You felt a knot tighten in your chest, making it hard to breathe. The thought of him in such a state because of you was almost unbearable. You had hoped that leaving would somehow make things easier for both of you, but now it seemed like you had only caused more pain. The tears spilled over, running down your cheeks as you struggled to find the strength to face the consequences of your actions. You frantically waved down a taxi, your hands shaking as you gave the driver directions to Newonce. The ride felt endless, each red light an eternity as your imagination tortured you with images of Yunho's state.
When you finally pushed through the club's doors, the assault of pulsing music and strobing lights felt like a mockery of the heaviness in your heart. You fought your way through the crowd, scanning desperately for familiar faces. Then you saw them - Mingi standing rigidly by the bar, his face etched with concern and barely concealed anger, San leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an icy stare that cut right through you, and Yunho... Your heart nearly stopped. He was slumped over, looking more broken than you'd ever seen him.
"Yunho," you called out, your voice catching in your throat as you rushed to his side. His head lifted slowly at the sound of your voice, and for a brief moment, his eyes lit up with that familiar warmth that had always been reserved just for you. But then reality seemed to crash back in, and his gaze clouded over with pain and confusion that made your chest ache.
"Y/N?" he mumbled, his voice thick and slurred. "Is it really you baby? Are you really here?"
"Yes, it's me," you whispered, gently placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to ignore how he instinctively leaned into your touch. "Let's get you home, okay?"
Mingi watched the interaction with barely contained fury simmering beneath his concerned exterior. He stepped closer, his tall frame looming over you, eyes dark with warning. "You better take good care of him," he said, his voice low enough that only you could hear. "He doesn't deserve any of this. And if you hurt him again..." He left the threat unfinished, but his meaning was clear. San remained silent throughout the exchange, but his piercing gaze never left you, his usually warm eyes now cold and unforgiving.
You nodded mutely, Mingi's words and San's silent judgment pressed down on you like a physical burden. Together, you helped get Yunho to his feet. San helped you guide him to the waiting taxi, his movements efficient but distant, refusing to acknowledge your whispered "thank you" as you settled into the backseat. Yunho immediately clung to you, his head resting in the crook of your neck, his lips millimeters from your skin, his breath tingling against your collarbone. He looked at you with his big puppy eyes, and you found yourself once again lost in them, unable to tear your gaze away.
"Your hair's wet, baby," he mumbled out, his voice slurred but filled with concern. One of his hands ran through the ends of your damp hair, his touch gentle and familiar. "M-My baby's gonna catch a cold." You felt a lump forming in your throat as you watched him, despite the alcohol coursing through his veins, Yunho's instinct to care for you remained strong. It was moments like these that made leaving him so incredibly difficult.
The drive back to his apartment was filled with a heavy silence, broken only by Yunho's occasional mumbling of your name. Each time he said it, the sound was like a knife twisting in your heart, carrying all the love and pain you'd caused. When you finally arrived, you helped him inside, settling him gently onto the bed that still held so many memories of happier times.
As you looked around the apartment, your heart sank at the state of disarray. Unwashed dishes were piled high in the sink, a reminder of how things had fallen apart. The curtains were drawn tight, casting the room in a gloomy shadow that matched the heaviness in your chest. Your clothes, the ones you'd left behind in your hurried departure, were still scattered across the bed - a t-shirt here, a sweater there, like abandoned pieces of your shared life. On the desk, your framed pictures remained untouched, frozen moments of happiness that now felt like they belonged to different people. Empty soju bottles lay on its side near the bed, and beside it—your heart clenched—sat an ashtray. The sight stole your breath. Yunho had quit smoking the moment you moved in together. Now the scent of cigarettes mingled with his familiar cologne, making your chest ache. The half-filled ashtray revealed how much he'd changed since you left, each stubbed-out cigarette marking his pain.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your vision blurring with tears as you brushed a strand of hair from his face. Your fingers lingered for a moment, remembering countless times you'd made the same gesture in love rather than guilt. "I'm so, so sorry."
As you stood there, battling with your conscience, Yunho's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed your wrist. "Please," he mumbled, his voice thick with need, "just stay with me." Before you could protest, he pulled you down with surprising strength, causing you to fall onto his chest with a soft gasp. His arms immediately wrapped around you, holding you close against him. The familiar warmth of his body enveloped you completely, and you felt yourself melting into his embrace despite your better judgment. His heartbeat thundered beneath your ear, strong and steady, a rhythm you'd fallen asleep to countless times before.
"Just for tonight," he whispered into your hair, his grip tightening slightly as if afraid you'd disappear. "Please, baby... just tonight." The desperation in his voice made your heart ache, and you found yourself unable to pull away from his warmth, from the comfort of being in his arms again.
You knew you should leave, that staying would only make things harder in the morning, but his embrace felt like coming home. His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, and even in his drunken state, his touch was gentle, reverent. The scent of his cologne mixed with the trace of alcohol filled your senses, bringing back a flood of memories you'd tried so hard to suppress.
"I miss you," he breathed against your temple, his words slurring slightly. "I miss you so much it hurts." His confession hung heavy in the air between you, raw and honest in a way that only alcohol could bring out. You felt tears prick at your eyes as his words hit home, knowing that come morning, this moment of vulnerability would only add to the pain you both carried.
"Oh god, I am so in love with you," Yunho whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and desperation. His hand traced your jawline gently as if trying to memorize every curve and contour of your face. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine, and you could feel his love and longing in every delicate caress. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "You've become my everything, and the thought of losing you forever terrifies me."
You felt a lump form in your throat as you listened to his heartfelt confession. The sincerity in his words made it difficult to hold back your own emotions. "Yunho," you began, your voice trembling slightly, "I..."
But before you could finish, he placed a finger on your lips, silencing you gently. "Please," he said, his eyes locking onto yours, "just let me hold you for a little while longer. Let me pretend, even if it's just for tonight, that everything is okay."
You nodded, unable to find the words to express how you felt. As he pulled you into his arms, you buried your face in his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. At that moment, it felt as if time had stopped, and the world outside ceased to exist. All that mattered was the two of you, holding on to each other as if your lives depended on it.
And maybe, in a way, they did.
"I love you so much," Yunho slurred as he leaned closer, his breath hitching with quiet sobs as it mingled with yours, "I... I don't know what I'll do without you," he continued, his voice breaking completely as he struggled to speak through his tears. "It's killing me. It's killing me, and I can't... I can't breathe without you." A heart-wrenching sob escaped his lips. His gaze shifted to your lips, and before you could process what was happening, he closed the distance between you. The kiss was gentle at first, hesitant and tender, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that had built up between you. His lips were soft against yours, tasting faintly of alcohol, cigarettes, and something uniquely Yunho.
As you melted into the kiss, his hand moved to cup your face, thumb gently stroking your cheek. The familiar gesture made your heart ache with longing. The kiss deepened, becoming more desperate, more needy, as if he was trying to pour every ounce of his love and pain into this one moment.
When you finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, Yunho rested his forehead against yours. Tears were streaming down his face again, and you could feel the wetness on your own cheeks. "Please," he whispered brokenly, "please don't let this be goodbye."
You reached up to wipe away his tears, your heart breaking at the sight of his vulnerability. The warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips reminded you of all the reasons you'd fallen in love with him in the first place. At that moment, surrounded by the quiet darkness of an apartment you shared for years and the weight of everything unsaid between you, you found yourself unable to form the words that would either heal or destroy what remained of your relationship.
Instead, you found yourself drawing him closer, letting his warmth envelope you completely as his breathing began to even out. His grip on you remained steady even as sleep started to claim him, and you knew that come morning, everything would be different - but for now, this moment was all that existed. And just like that, you let yourself fall asleep.
Your half-conscious state was violently interrupted as Yunho suddenly jerked upright, the movement nearly throwing your aching body off the bed. Through bleary eyes still heavy from crying, you watched him stumble to his feet. Before your sleep-addled mind could fully process what was happening, he had already bolted to the bathroom, the sound of retching echoing through the apartment.
"Yunho?" You followed him, heart racing with concern. He was hunched over the toilet, his broad shoulders heaving violently as he emptied the contents of his stomach. The sound of his retching echoed off the bathroom tiles, making your chest tighten with worry. Without thinking, you reached out to rub his back in a comforting gesture, but he flinched away from your touch as if it burned.
"Don't," he spat out between heaves, his voice raw and bitter, laced with a pain that went deeper than physical illness. "Just... don't fucking touch me. Not now. Not like this."
The venom in his voice made you take several steps back, your hand still suspended in the air between you. "I'm just trying to help—"
"Help?" He laughed, a hollow, broken sound that seemed to bounce off the walls and pierce straight through your heart. He wiped his mouth with the back of his trembling hand, finally turning to face you. His eyes were clearer now, the alcohol haze replaced by something far more terrifying – complete and devastating clarity. "Where was this fucking help when you walked out on us? When you decided I wasn't enough? When you left me alone with nothing but silence and unanswered messages?"
"That's not... that's not what happened," you stammered, feeling hot tears begin to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision. "You know that's not what happened. It was more complicated than that."
"Do I?" He stood up abruptly, towering over you in the cramped bathroom, his presence filling the small space with an almost suffocating intensity. "Because I don't know shit anymore. I don't know why the person I love more than anything in this goddamn world decided to throw everything away like it meant nothing. I don't know why you're here now, playing nurse to my drunk, pathetic ass, acting like you give a fuck about what happens to me!"
"Of course I give a fuck!" The tears were falling freely now, hot trails down your cheeks as your voice cracked with emotion. "How can you think I don't care? After everything we've been through? I love—"
"DON'T!" he roared, slamming his hand against the wall with such force that the mirror rattled, making you jump backward. "Don't you dare say those words. You lost that right. You lost it when you..." His voice broke, and you could see tears forming in his own bloodshot eyes, threatening to spill over. "Just get out. Please, just... get the fuck out before I completely fall apart."
"Yunho, please," you sobbed, reaching for him desperately, your fingers grasping at empty air between you. "Can we just talk about this? I never meant to hurt you like this—"
"To what?" he cut you off, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper that felt more devastating than his shouts. "To come back here and make me feel like the biggest fucking idiot for still being in love with you? For making me think, just for a moment, that maybe there was still hope for us?" He ran his hands through his disheveled hair in frustration, tears now streaming freely down his face, catching in his stubble. "God, I'm such a pathetic piece of shit for still wanting you after everything."
You stood there, chest heaving with uncontrollable sobs, watching helplessly as the man you loved tore himself apart in front of you. The worst part was knowing that you were the reason for his pain, that every tear he shed, every broken word he spoke, was because of choices you'd made, paths you'd chosen to walk away from.
"I said get out!" he shouted when you didn't move, his voice breaking on the last word like shattered glass. "I can't... I can't even look at you right now. Please, just... leave. Like you're so good at doing. It's what you do best, isn't it?"
That final jab felt like a physical blow to your chest, knocking the air from your lungs. You stumbled backward, barely able to see through the thick veil of tears as you fumbled to grab your things. The last glimpse you caught of him through the bathroom doorway was an image that would haunt you forever – the love of your life slumped against the cold tile wall, head buried in his trembling hands, broad shoulders shaking with silent, devastating sobs.
As you fled his apartment, the violent sound of something shattering against a wall followed you out into the hallway, the crash mixing with your own heartbroken cries in the empty corridor. Each step away from him felt like walking on broken glass, leaving trails of both your shattered hearts in your wake.
Your hands were shaking so violently you could barely hold your phone, fingers trembling as you tried to unlock it through the blur of tears. Each breath came in sharp, painful gasps that felt like shards of glass in your lungs. The sound of whatever Yunho broke is still echoing in your head, mixing with the memory of his broken sobs, and oh god, oh god, what if he hurts himself? The thought sends another wave of panic crashing through you.
You manage to find Mingi's contact through pure muscle memory because you can barely see the screen through your tears. "Please be awake, please be fucking awake," you whisper desperately as the phone rings. Your free hand is pressed against the wall of the hallway, trying to keep yourself upright as the edges of your vision start to blur. The panic is closing in, making everything feel distant and too close all at once.
"Hello?" Mingi's voice is rough with sleep, but it's there, thank fuck it's there. "Do you know what fucking time it is—"
"M-Mingi," you choke out, and something in your voice must sound absolutely fucking wrecked because he immediately goes quiet. "I... I need... Yunho, he's..." You can't get the words out between your gasping breaths, each inhale feeling shorter than the last.
"Hey, hey, breathe for me," Mingi's voice shifts instantly from sleepy to alert, concern evident in every word. "Where are you? What happened with Yunho?"
"I f-fucked up," you sobbed, sliding down the wall because your legs couldn't hold you anymore. "I think he's still drunk, and we... there was... I heard something break after I left, Mingi, he's so fucking broken and it's my fault, it's all my fault, and I can't... I can't breathe, I can't—"
"Listen to me," Mingi cuts through your spiral, his voice firm but gentle. "I'm getting dressed right now. I'm coming over. I swear to fucking god if both of my best friends end up in the hospital today—"
Another crash echoes from inside Yunho's apartment, followed by what sounds like a strangled scream, and you let out a broken wail. "Please hurry," you begged, your voice barely recognizable to your own ears. "Please, Mingi, I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared—"
"You need to get out of there," he says firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument. "Stay on the line with me until you're in a taxi, okay? I'll make sure you get home safe."
"But I can't—I don't want to be alone, I don't wanna leave him" you choke out between sobs, clutching the phone tighter.
"I know, but trust me, this is for the best right now," Mingi's voice softens with sympathy. "I'll handle Yunho. Just please, get yourself home safely. Don't hang up until you're in that taxi."
You nod numbly, forcing yourself to stand on shaky legs. The sound of your footsteps feels thunderous in the empty hallway as you make your way to the elevator, Mingi's steady breathing on the line anchoring you to reality. Your trembling fingers somehow manage to open your ride-sharing app, and you hear yourself giving your address to the driver in a voice that sounds far away, even to your own ears.
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143 notes · View notes
patscorner · 9 months ago
Text
What Love Broke
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Summary: You and your girlfriend go through a rough patch
wc: 2,144
Contains: angst, couple kisses, reader petty asf
______________________________
You don't exactly remember what started the argument, but you knew it had escalated far more than it should've.
“I'm just saying- it's so unfair how you can't manage to come to a single one of my games when I've been to every one of yours!”
“Oh, I'm sorry that I'm busy with actual things to do. Maybe if you played an actual sport, I'd come to one!” Neshy shouted back at you, her accent thick.
Things have been tense for a while between you and Ines, the stress of your upcoming softball tournament and her basketball tournament stopping you from seeing each other. The wall between you two was built by two people who were so in love that it was painful.
Now here you both are, arguing in front of your closest friends, desperately trying to hold onto the last string that connected your hearts.
“What is that supposed to mean?!”
Ines’s face flashed a twinge of regret, but quickly recovered. “Nothing, look-”
“No, I fucking knew it! I knew that's why you never came to games. You weren't busy, you just didn't fucking care!”
The evening started fine, some of the team gathering in Paige’s dorm to hang out before practice the next morning. Ines had been unusually cold, and everyone noticed her icy demeanor. It was embarrassing for you, so you tried to subtly ask if you'd done something, only to be met with the same frozen heart.
You tried to let it go, but as the night went on, you’d had enough. You had dragged her into a separate room in an attempt to fix whatever you had broken.
Which led you to now, the pair of you, face to face, shouting at each other.
“I care! All I do is care! You're so fucking ungrate-”
“Bullshit, Neshy!” You ran your hand over your face, a weak attempt to calm yourself.
“How can you call me ungrateful when all-”
“Because, with all I do in this relationship, you don't do anything to match it!” her accent ringing through the air thickly.
“With all you do?!! What about all the time I've put in?! All the time spent watching your fucking games, instead of doing homework of my own! All the times I've stayed up going to games, then going to an afterparty, just to watch you get drunk!” your voice shakes at this, but it doesn't matter, not to her anyway.
“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was such an inconvenience for you to support your girlfriend!” Ines had been pacing this whole time, clearly overwhelmed, and normally you'd respect it. You drop it and pick it up later, but this time, this time, she was gonna listen to what you had to say.
You scoff out a dry laugh. “It's not an inconvenience, Ines, it's just not reciprocated. And until you figure that out, don't bother coming.” You turn to face the door, tired of this argument, tired of fighting, tired of this.
“So that's it?! We're gonna leave it like this?!” She asked, her voice carrying a different kind of weight to it.
“I'm tired, Neshy. I can't keep fighting you like this.” You say spinning around.
She's quiet for a bit, clearly thinking of where to go from here. You can almost hear her thoughts, her face flipping through emotions, until she picked one. The same one she's had all day.
“Don't come to any of my games, then.” She hissed out.
Your heart stuttered, but you didn't let her see that. “Okay.” Is all you say before you turn around and leave, closing the door behind you.
You walk out, finally allowing the tears to fall before remembering you weren't in your own dorm, meeting the eyes of your girlfriend's teammates.
Their eyes carry pity and sympathy as they reach yours.You wipe your eyes before grabbing your phone and mumbling a goodbye.
It's a day before the game between Uconn and Syracuse, the second round of the NCAA Tournament. It's been 3 days, 13 hours, 6 minutes, and 40 seconds (but who's counting) since you've talked to Ines. During those painful hours, you've left your dorm once. One to return a notebook to Paige that you'd borrowed for math help.
You'd seen your girlfriend around campus a couple of times, but quickly avoided her gaze. Your entire goal was to cool off before you went to the game the next day, but that plan failed when you returned to your dorm to your room unlocked.
At first, you panicked, but when you saw Ines in the kitchen, you let out a breath of relief. You set your keys on the counter and your bags on the floor.
“What're you doing here?” You ask softly.
She yelps, putting her hand on her chest. “Jesus, you scared the fuck outta me.”
“Sorry.” you mumble.
“It's okay.”
The silence between you both is not the comfortable one you were used to. This silence was loud, filled with the unspoken words of your hearts. You stare at your feet, avoiding the intense gaze from Neshy.
“What're you doing here?” You repeat.
“I-I, uh, left my jersey here. I didn't think you'd be home soon.” she whispers the last part.
You raise your eyebrows. “So that's why you're in my kitchen?”
Her eyes widened. “Wha- oh, uh. I jus- I noticed your Brita was out of water, so I was just filling it up.”
Your heart shattered. Even after all the fighting you two have done, she still shows that she cares.
You nod. “Thank you, that's- that's very sweet.”
She just hums in acknowledgement, before grabbing her jersey off the counter and heading for the door. You watch her as she turns around to you.
“Are you coming to the game?”
“Oh-uh. I don't know.” You whisper.
“Please.” She begs.
“Neshy.”
“Jus- think about it. Please. I need you there.”
You sigh. “I'll see.”
“Okay.” She opens the door, but turns around and walks back towards you, pulling you into her chest by your waist.
Her lips interlock with yours briefly, a silent plea for you to go.
“I love you.” she whispers.
“I love you, too.” you smile sadly.
And with that, she walks out and closes the door behind her.
Tomorrow comes sooner than you wish, and so does the game. After careful consideration, (and a long conversation with Nika) you decide to go to the game. Even though you were still upset, and the relationship was far from fixed, Ines was your girlfriend, and you were going to support her, regardless of hurt feelings. Plus, you were still friends with the rest of the girls, and wanted to support them as well.
You still didn't want to talk to Neshy, and you made it a goal to avoid her at all costs. At that point, you knew you were being petty, but you didn't care.
Uconn won the game, Ines scoring three 3s and getting a crucial steal at the end of the third quarter. Even though her head was elsewhere, she played well. As you sit in the stands, you help but feel disappointment. She never cared enough to come to one of your games. She never experienced being in the stands, cheering on her girlfriend like you had. She had no idea what that was like and didn't seem to care to find out. Regardless, you couldn't help but feel your heart swell with pride for her. You considered staying and waiting for her, like you usually do. You were undoubtedly happy for her, but she hurt you. You wanted to stay. You wanted to hug her and whisper her congratulations. You wanted to kiss all the angry words you'd exchanged away. That's what you wanted.
But what you needed to do was protect your peace. You needed her to care. You needed 50-50, not 75-25. You needed change. Something had to change.
Your heart fought with your feet as you walked out of the stadium, nobody stopping you.
A knock sounded startled you awake. You groaned as you rolled over, ignoring the interruption of your sleep. Well, you tried, but it didn't work, as whoever it was, knocked again. You grumbled as you rolled out of bed, cursing whoever woke you up at– you check your phone –3:23am.
You swing the door open, to see none other than your girlfriend, and boy, did she look pissed. Her eyes were red and puffy, and bags stark against her pale skin.
“Where were you?” She demands.
“Ines, it's three thirty in the fucking morning. Do you really want to do this right now?”
“You seriously didn't come? I thought you'd be mature enough to put one stupid fight behind us, but you clearly aren't. Like, I'd love to hear the reasoning.”
“Neshy-”
“No, no, actually, never mind. I don't wanna hear whatever your bullshit excuse would be.”
“Ines.” she was spiraling right in front of you, and it was the hardest thing for you to watch.
“I don't even know why I came here. You probably don't even have a good reason. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot.” She rambles. “I can't do this, goodnight.”
And with that she walked away. You contemplated letting her go. She told you what she was thinking, and she seemed pretty sure of herself. But you shook your head, clearing them of those thoughts. She didn't mean it, and you both knew that. You knew that if you let her leave, she might not ever come back.
You stepped out of your dorm in your her large tee-shirt and sweats. “I was at the game.” You call after her. She pauses before looking back at you. She'd made it halfway down the hall at that point. Damn that athletic speed.
“W-what?” Her eyes twinkle with surprise and her eyebrows furrow.
“Come inside.” You say, moving to make room for her in the doorway. You watch her as she walks back to you, pausing for a moment, seemingly looking for permission. The politeness is foreign to you, but you respect it.
You nod before following her inside. She walked into your dorm, and stood at the island.
You wordlessly walk to the refrigerator and get the Brita filter that she'd filled, pouring you both glasses of water. You walk up to her, chest to chest, and set the glass on the table. You look at her, and wipe her tears gently. You feel her hands hesitantly hover over your waist. You almost roll your eyes. It didn't have to be like this.
“You came…? But I didn't see you, a-and you didn't say hi after.”
“I know. I'm sorry. I should've said hi, but I was still pissed.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around her neck.
You both look at each other for a beat before you speak again.
“It can't be like this.” She hums and nods in agreement. “I know.”
“I just need fifty-fifty. I understand if you don't have time during the week, you're an athlete, I'm an athlete, and it's bound to happen. I get all of that. But it can't be like this.” You gesture between the two of you.
Ines nods again. “Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just stressed, I didn't mean anything I said, I was just upset.” She mutters shamefully.
“I know.” You say leaning close to her. Your lips ghost across hers and your heart pounds at the way her breath hitches.
Ines pushes her lips against yours, whining so quiet you almost miss it. Almost.
You break the kiss, locking eyes with her once again. “It's late. Let's go to bed. We can talk in the morning.” You whisper. She nods and you can see the exhaustion set in. She probably hasn't slept in days.
You lead her to your room, falling into the familiar rhythm that is cuddling. You face her as she wraps her arms around your waist, your face buried in the crook of her neck. You listen to Ines take a deep breath, inhaling your scent as if you'll disappear. You press a kiss on her collarbone, humming.
“Neshy?” You whisper. She opens one eye, grunting in acknowledgment.
“You ever yell at me in front of the team again, I will beat your ass.” You smile, but she knows you're dead serious.
“No need, KK said she'd beat my ass if I ever made you cry again.” You let out a soft giggle, moving impossibly closer to her.
“Good.”
“Mhm.” She mumbles, closing her eyes once again. You shift up to kiss her lips before returning to your previous position. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight, my love.”
Even though your relationship was far from fixed, there's no harm in a night's sleep before you mend what love broke.
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