#how to do trigger tags I am not too certain lmao

[voodoodaaddy]

Art by Me Voodoodaaddy

Art by @alteregozowie (THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3)

This Alastor (nickname Wylder) can be very messy, and feral. He's not put together like other alternates. He likes to hunt in the woods and embraces his animalistic side. There are some aspects of the show that are cannon for this muse such as he IS bound to someone, he loves Jazz, he's still a Radio Host and Overlord, but his personality is different. Just think Alpha Alastor lmao

Rules below cut

Mun is 40+ and will not interact with minors. If it’s not clear in your rules how old you are or if I even suspect you are under aged, I will block you.

People who Kin their characters DNI

Minors DNI

Pedophiles, Racists, Bigots, Homophobes, Transphobes, assholes and creeps DNI

non-roleplaying blogs DNI (unless you are a mutual)

I'm only interacting with mutuals.

I do not have exclusives or mains. Everyone will be treated equally here.

Please reblog and like from the source. It’s okay to like my own RP threads just don’t reblog them if you are not a part of them. If you do this, I will have to block you as I assume you haven't bothered to read my rules. I am not a meme farm/art farm for you. However, if I tag you in art or anything you can like and reblog from me since that's my invitation to share with you.

I try my best to remember people's rules but please keep in mind I am human and can forget certain things, especially if it's specific. Please feel free to remind me or if you really need to unfollow be my guest. We all need our safe spaces.

I do have a job so my answers to threads may take time. It also depends on my muse. My also muse needs to stay fresh and months after a thread is posted is not going to work for me. (This excludes real life situations of course. Stuff happens. You just have to let me know)

If we are following each other and I am attempting to RP with you a few times, and you keep dropping or ignoring it, I’m going to assume you don’t have interest and I will soft block you. There’s no point in following each other if you choose to not interact with me. I’m here to interact, not to watch you interact with others.

I don't mind Dashboard shinanigans but I prefer to keep focus on threads owe and not creating more then I already have, because of this I won't be participating in dashboard commentary as often as I have.

I will not be participating in 'events'. I find these to be highly annoying and only cause drafts/muses to be ignored.

I do get duplicate anxiety. I don't mind other duplicates in general but keep in mind if you're constantly ignoring me for others of the same muse, we will not work out.

I need someone who is excited about our ships. I match people's energy. I am heavily into m/m and queer relationships. If you like F/M that's great too, but don't put our ships in second place over this or treating it like a second-class citizen because of M/M.

If I follow you and you do not follow back after a few days, I will assume you're not interested and will unfollow you. If you follow me and I don't follow back after a few days, I may not be interested in Rping with you. Sometimes certain muses do not catch my interest. It's perfectly fine to unfollow me.

My writing can vary depending on who I’m rping with. I can write short and paragraph style format. It will also depend on how much inspiration I have for the thread.

I’m open to multiship but I will warn you I lean more towards M/M then F/M.

Very very selective with OCs (I'll only accept OC's from close mutuals or if I so happen to like your OC I'll be following you). I'm not interacting with characters outside the Hazbin Hotel universe. Fan kids are fine though or angels. I will also interact with Helluva boss characters because I consider them part of the same verse.

I have no major triggers.

There will be sexual themes on this blog. I do not care if Alastor is Ace/Aromantic on the show. That's not how I play him here. Please do not hash that up with me. I'm here to have fun. That being said I'm not just looking for PWP there needs to be chemistry and some kind of buildup unless they are already in a relationship.

Alastor is not part of any set universe but can be multiverse if I have multiships. Multiships will be part of their own verse. Alastor will not be cheating unless it is plotted out by muns. 

Please no godmodding. there are only a very few that I trust to lead Alastor in certain situations but anything else that’s major needs to be talked with the mun first. 

I do not ship Alastor/Charlie (radioBelle), Alastor/Rosie, Alastor/Nifty Alastor/Husk (I tried this, just not for me)

Any hate/drama at all will be ignored and blocked.

I am not a grammar Nazi by any means, but if you respond back and I can barely understand what's being said, I don't think we will work out as rp partners.

Alastor is a cannibal and serial killer so there will be gore, blood, violence and all that applies.

I have the right to block whoever I want without explanation. However, if you are someone that I have been rping with for a while I would obviously reach out if there was something wrong.

I am open now to RP on discord if this is your preference. (I actually would prefer discord as I've been enjoying it so far)

[meadowlarksabove]

𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑼𝑵

tagged by: I stole this from @spakona

tagging: idk. steal this from me and tag me so I can read pls

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?━━

When it comes to Gabban, I first started writing him many years ago as an npc for a friend and I's thread, and my imagination went way out of control lmao. The way I write for his character has changed A LOT since then, but certain aspects/themes have remained entirely the same. I gravitate a lot towards characters with no sense of autonomy, who've had to survive under a cult mentality, with no space for self-respect or safety. Characters who barely "feel human", turned to kicked dogs, with attitudes and habits groomed into them by people with no soul. Men, especially, corrupted into the worst version of themselves by suffering all manner of abuse. Gabban's story is, if I had to summarize, about mourning who you were before the hurt, mourning the "what could have been", it's about biting everything around you, and becoming a danger to others. It's about hatred for the state, hatred for the military industrial complex, hatred of colonization (written by someone from a colony), and hatred for fathers/patriarchs especially. On the other hand, when it comes to my other muses ( @amberedcorpse ), I write them as expressions of my own thoughts and experiences (from when I went unmedicated). I also explore character archetypes I love, like mad craftsmen who work because they believe their hands are compelled by a higher power, powerful creatures dissatisfied with being anything less than gods, or delusional worshippers who mix obsession with religious conviction. Idk, it's just the kind of stuff I'm into and I believe people should write the things they love (and above all, about things they actually understand).

is there anything you don’t like to write? ━━

Apart from my own triggers... I don't like writing about pain for the sake of it. When I write my sad stories, or write out the horrible things that have happened to a character, I try to make my intentions with it pretty clear. It's usually a kind of building block or an explanation for future (bad) deicisions. But I'm not into making characters suffer for my own amusement. Horrible things happen to people every day, there's no avoiding it even when you write, but I don't think mindlessly torturing a character (yours or mine) is fun at all. It's true that I exclusively write villains, and my characters are usually at the root of someone's suffering, but all of that is also planned and carefully thought over. My villains are no one's angst factories, and they remain just as evil when they make someone laugh as when they make someone cry. Other than that, I don't like writing if I have to REALLY SOFTEN my characters to fit what someone else wants. I'm very flexible with the level of evil I put into things, not everyone likes the vibe I bring to the party, so I'm more than happy to reign it in. But I will NOT change a character from scratch. The lord bless you and keep you if you're trying to fix them too.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? ━━

There's so many things I like to write actually UHH... SO TOP THREE Horror, I absolutely adore writing things centered around horror, or even body horror. I love writing about characters experiencing TRUE FEAR and having to push through it all like they're moving against the tide. Nightmarish or uncanny creatures are also very precious to me. I like exploring themes of gender and sexuality, just as much as I love writing about romance and the ecstasy of a gentle kiss. Huge fan if all of that is also between two of the most horrible people you could think of. OH. I am...a huge fan of detective stories and whodunits (even the silliest ones). Please if anyone is willing to feed this side of me...dm me...

how do you come up with headcanons? ━━

SANGUINE!! SANGUINE!!

do you write in silence or do you play music? ━━

Music ON. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, if it's because I like to be in control of the noises around me, or both, but I like to have music playing at all times. Even if it's just a short ambient track on loop.

do you plan your replies or wing them? ━━

I plan. There's no thread I tackle by just winging it. I know my characters well enough, and they're all full of schemes and nefarious desires. Something is always brewing, ALWAYS.

do you enjoy shipping? ━━

YES!!!

______________

what’s your alias/name?   ━━ Sol (He/Him or They/Them)

age? ━━ 28

birthday? ━━ apr, 25

favorite color? ━━ pink, black, and pale greens.

favorite song? ━━ Gagarin - Moses Sumney (There's not enough time in the day to explain what this song, THIS ALBUM, means to me. I've never been more serious.)

last movie you watched? ━━ The Tunnel (2011)

last show you watched? ━━ I don't really watch shows, but I put Murder, She Wrote and Columbo in the background ^^

last song you listened to? ━━ Take a little hand - Yoko Kanno

favorite food? ━━ rn really into fried rice, lots of veggies and egg, no meat.

favorite season? ━━ Summer

do you have a Tumblr best friend? ━━ nah. The guy who was is now my man B) (and has been for many years now <3)

[lovingpromise]

I. DISCLAIMER

I do not own any of the canon characters on this blog, or their fandoms, but all headcanons not pertaining to canon belong to me as well as any ocs. I take a few liberties when developing muses, so keep that in mind as well. PSD CREDIT. HEADER CREDIT.

II. ACTIVITY

Most of the time I reply in the order of how I receive things, though there are times when I may feel like doing one type of reply over another.  Depending on the time I have, it’s likely that I’ll prioritize short responses and the stuff in my ask box and save longer responses for days when I have more time to write. This is a low-activity blog, please wait at least a week before reminding me of a reply I owe. Things slip through the cracks sometimes, but I'll never intentionally ignore anyone. Building on that, please don't constantly bug me for a reply, it's a good way to make me not want to do it.

III. FOLLOWING

Most of the people who follow me, I tend to follow back. I’m not very selective in that regard and honestly, I’m down to roleplay most things within reason. That said, on the off chance that I do unfollow or don’t follow at all please don’t take it personally. I don’t like a cluttered dash. I don’t follow personals. I don’t like drama. And usually, if I don’t know the fandom or am not well versed in it I may not follow for that reason either. If I haven’t followed back and you want to roleplay with any of my muses don’t hesitate to tell me. You could see an obvious way to do so, but that doesn’t mean I do. If I like the idea I’ll be more than willing to do it with you as long as it fits my characters!

IV. SHIPPING

I absolutely love shipping (romantic, platonic, antagonistic, all the above!!). When it comes to romantic ships unless otherwise stated all my muses are multiship. There needs to be chemistry, of course, but I'm easily convinced, lol. Some muses will be easier to woo than others, so please keep that in mind!! (Also should anyone want pre-established stuff, I’m always down to plot!! )

V. NSFW

I’m not into smut. It’s likely you will never find smut on this blog or any blog or mine. If somehow I am convinced, it would be underneath a read more and tagged appropriately. If I were to ever do it, both the mun and muse cannot be underaged. There could be allusions to sex, but likely never the act itself. I’d have to know you pretty well and be comfortable with you to even consider it.

VI. TRIGGERS

As far as triggers go… I don’t have any to speak of. As long as the obvious things like blood & gore (slasher film level stuff specifically), and sex are labeled it’ll be fine. Should you need a certain thing tagged and I don’t do it, please let me know. I read all the rules but my memory can be shoddy, so do not hesitate to remind me.

VII. EXCLUSIVES

I don’t do exclusives. I don’t personally like it that much. I don’t mind if other people do it, but I’m not comfortable doing it myself. I don’t like to limit the people I roleplay with if that makes sense.

VIII. ABOUT ME

I go by Glory. I’m 28 (29 on July 3rd and I'm an idiot that never keeps track of her age lmao). She/Her. And my timezone is EST. I work full-time and take care of my younger siblings due to my mother passing away a few years ago. As such, my schedule can be a bit hectic and sometimes I disappear for a bit, but I love roleplaying too much to stay gone for long. When I’m not doing any of that, I’m either writing original stories, drawing, or catching up on shows lol.

[twxins]

Mutual comfort between writing partners is very important to me, so here are a few pointers to make sure we’re all on the same page!<3

General:

- This is a side blog. I follow back with @the-wittyfool.

- This blog will contain blog will contain major spoilers for both the Bullet Train book and movie. - This is a multimuse blog for both Lemon and Tangerine. I may use them together or individually. Sometimes, one muse may be used more than the other. If you have a preference, please specify. Otherwise, I'll just go with my gut.

- All kinds of muses are welcome! OC’s, crossovers, whatever. Hmu lovelies!<3

- Multiple threads with the same person are welcome!

- Pretty much game for any genre. Reply lengths from one-liners to paragraphs.

- This is a safe zone for everybody, regardless of race, religion, nationality, sexuality, gender, etc.

- I am not my muse. Mun and Muse are separate people. Please don’t conflate the two.

- Not interested in any kind of online drama. I’m here to have a good time out of love for both writing and the source material. Anyone trying to grill me about my interpretations or opinion on the story/ character, or what I will and won’t do with my muse, will be straight-up ignored, and persistence will meet with a hard block.

Shipping:

- I am multiship friendly.

- I will ship Muse x Chemistry. If we’ve interacted a few times and you’re feeling a spark between our muses, let’s talk!

- I will not ship Lemon x Tangerine. Blood-related or not, they are siblings. Please don't ask me for that, I beg...

NSFW:

- Muses are 25+ unless the verse specifically states otherwise. Mun is 25+.

- If any NSFW threads occur, they will be tagged and posted under a Keep Reading link.

- The above will also apply to particularly heavy/ triggering themes.

- I love me a bit of spicy nsfw! Sexuality is a subject I find very fascinating. From vanilla lovemaking to outlandish kinks, I love exploring what makes that vulnerable, visceral side of a muse tick. And if his partner is on the same page, Tangerine does love to get freaky in the boudoir (which may come as a shock to absolutely no one who knows of him lmao)! - That said, mutual comfort is top priority. I have certain limits on what I can and cannot write, as I'm sure you do, too. Therefore, any particularly kinky NSFW encounters will require pre-discussion<3

- I also ask, with all due respect, that you do not use my characters or writing (and by extension, me) as a way to live out your personal fantasies. I will not write my muse out of character to cater to your irl kinks. I have done far too much of this, and frankly, the feeling it leaves you with isn’t a good one. This is not why I write NSFW. If I or my muse has expressed to you that they are not into a certain thing, don’t insist, don’t try to lowkey push them towards it on the sly - please, please, please. If living out your fantasies is the only reason you want to write/ ship with me, then, with peace and love, I am not the ship partner for you.

- Other than that, bring me your NSFW headcanons and let’s see how our muses mesh! I am a very sex-positive person, so don’t be shy. Go nuts! Literally! 🤪

Triggers: - That leads me neatly onto triggers. The muses on this blog are two hitmen. Safe to say there will be triggers such as death, blood, guns, mild gore, etc. - I tag everything accordingly with trigger tw. If I've missed something, do let me know! Additionally, if you have a specific trigger that isn't currently being tagged, let me know, and I will begin tagging it for you<3

Mun:

- I am very work-focused and often busy, so activity levels may vary.

- For the sake of my sanity, this blog is currently private and selective. This means it is mutuals only.

- However, if you stumble across this blog and think our muses would vibe, you are MORE than welcome to approach me! Screaming about plots, characters, and headcanons is one of my favourite things.

And the final but most important rule: just have a good time! I’m completely harmless, and it’s important to me that all my partners feel comfortable. So if you have any questions or concerns, just shoot me a message.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my rules. Now, with that out of the way, let’s enjoy~!

[iamanartichoke]

Still processing episode 3 got me like:

... I can't also find a gif that accurately expresses the frequency at which I am vibrating as I try to sort out my feels while scrolling my dash and trying not to comment on every. single. post. but my brain is like this field and every single butterfly is something different I want to say or react to or reflect upon:

So, yeah, we're having a good time over here.

[moondragon618]

I should probably make an intro post huh

Well here it is ig lol

You can call me Moon or Moondra, and Luna or Lunar is okay too :) My pronouns are they/them, it/its, she/her, + multiple neos which I'll list here:

xey/xem/xeir/xeirs/xemself (this one works like they/them, eg. xey are/xey're)

lun/lunar/lunars/lunarself

moon/moons/moonself

dre/dream/dreams/dreamself

sh:)/h:)r/h:)rs/h:)rself

drae/draer/draers/draerself (this one works more like she/her, eg. That's draer cat, That cat is draers)

dra/dragon/dragons/dragonself

🌙/🌙s/🌙self

🐉/🐉s/🐉self

Feel free to use any of these, and also feel free to ask me about how to use the neos if you're confused :)

I am bi and questioning if I'm aroace-spec, and I'm a genderfluid enby- more specifically I'm fluid between any combination of feminine aligned, neutral/androgynous aligned, and an assortment of xenogenders lol :) I'm fine with any gender-neutral terms and pretty much all gendered terms outside of male/female and woman/man, though I do prefer gendered terms to be used in a lighthearted/joking way rather than seriously lol <3

I'm also (self-diagnosed) ADHD + Autistic and have social anxiety- be warned I'm often very slow to answer asks/reblogs/DMs/etc and that's probably why lmao

I'm currently a dsmp/c!primeboys enjoyer as you've probably noticed lol but my other interests include Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Undertale/Deltarune, the MCU (specifically Irondad lol), Markiplier/Unus Annus, and the Legend of Spyro trilogy (my first fandom <3)

I am also fictionkin- my c!Dream kin tag is ad infinitum :) and my Protegeinnit kin tag is everlasting daydream ❤️

I tag all of my c!primeboys posts with c!prime thoughts so they're easier to find bc I reblog a lot and post rarely lol

Here's a link to my Ao3 and here's my writing tag which has all my fics + me talking about my writing lol

Some AU tags I use sometimes:

Immortal c!Prime (also includes Divine c!Prime where c!Dream becomes a god and makes c!Tommy into an angel)

Shapeshifter c!Dream AU (exactly what it sounds like lol)

Hybrid c!Prime AU (in which c!Dream in an ender dragon hybrid and c!Tommy is a cardinal avian)

Reblogs from my c!Prime RP blogs (@haver-of-wives and @your-eternal-nightmare) will be tagged with rp c!Prime :)

My reblogs will all be fandom tagged except for non-fandom stuff which will just be untagged.

And just to be very clear about this due to Certain Recent Events: I absolutely Do Not support cc!dream in any way.

I enjoy c!Dream strictly as a fictional character. I completely understand if others personally find c!Dream posting uncomfortable and if that's you, then you might want to block me. If you harass me over this, or for not supporting cc!dream, or any other reason lol, enjoy getting blocked on sight <3

As for a DNI, I don't really care as long as you're not on some terf shit, generally just hateful and/or bigoted, super NSFW, or shipping incest or adult/minor ships (p*ppytwit/blr this means you too stay tf away from me istg). Also cc!dream stans will be blocked on sight, and c!Dream apologists I Do Not fucking trust you lmaooo

Oh also I tend to avoid discourse posting but if I do it will be tagged as such. I try to tag for triggering content as well and feel free to let me know if I should tag something. (also be warned that I occasionally forget to tag if I'm doing some late night reblogging and really tired lol. I usually notice it and fix it the next day though)

And don't be alarmed if I suddenly switch fandoms at some point that just kind of happens sometimes lmao

Anyway that is all and welcome to my deranged fandom blog <3

[everything-laito]

hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

[nefoe-dd]

I know we started talking about doing it on the Tumblr tag but,

Can people start tagging negativity about c!Phil in their fics too, like on ao3? I’m so sick of reading Dreamsmp/rp SBI fics using the family dynamic that make him an irredeemable asshole. Obviously things written from certain povs will be interpreted based on that character, but it gets to a point where you know the author’s personal views on things are being projected onto them lmao. There are a couple tags that already exist for this purpose, so if you could use them that would be great too thanks. (A lot of ones I see don’t even have the Family Dynamic tag, so it catches me completely off guard whenever it comes up seemingly randomly)

To clarify, I’m definitely not saying that all fics have to follow canon dynamics or characterization even, and you can interpret certain things differently based on certain aus. I can’t stop you, and I don’t want to. If that’s how you see things then that’s totally fine. But please at least tag properly, I am begging you. 

This is a bigger problem than just this too. Please learn how ao3 works, please, especially if your writing contains more mature themes or potentially triggering topics. Over tagging is better than under tagging, as long as you don’t go too overboard with it. 

We can’t block stuff from the search if you don’t give us the ability to

[tsukidrama]

FAQ (frequently asked questions)

please for the love of God read this before you send me an ask. if you get redirected to this post you've probably asked me something that's already listed here.

can you explain your url?

it's a play on the name "tsukiyama," my favorite character from tokyo ghoul. he is dramatic.

why did you block/unfollow me? did i do something?

if you identify as "pro-life," or "radfem / gender critical" then that right there is why i blocked you.

if you're just a normal person doing your thing, i probably just don't want you to follow me. you may not have "done" anything at all and its not necessarily personal. sometimes i block because i dont like what somebody posts about, and literally just seeing an associated url is enough to trigger my squick.

(for attack on titan followers) ar/u/ani shippers get immediately blocked 95% of the time. the very few of you who aren't blocked, please don't push your luck. i will only feel minimal guilt adding you to my very very long list of AA exiles.

if you write smutty fanfiction about male characters then how are you a lesbian?

because i am exclusively interested in dating/having sex with women. this is not anybody's business, but i am changing this response due to a specific anon who had a lot of big things to say with nothing to back their stupid ass up with.

i will bite you if you imply that writing about anime boys invalidates an identity i have lived with for the better half of my life. i fucking depsise the tumblr lesbian police, smh. i can better determine my own sexuality than someone who does not know me. if you don't like it, then either block tags or don't follow me. im allowed to have male faves and write about them however i want. i garauntee you that by comparison it's different than smut written by straight or bi women.

frankly i'm not interested in arguing about this or any discourse, queer or fandom-related. so if you don't want to get blocked and roasted on main then just keep away from me with that shit.

no discourse! but this is tumblr!

nope, none! i will not engage & just block!

as far as fandom drama goes: i believe what i believe and i'm not interested in debating it.

haters save your breath because i'm telling you right now that i do not care. at all.

can i spam your inbox? will you block me for being annoying?

yes, go for it! no, i will never block you for sending me "too many" messages. ramble away!

will you hate me if i don't have the same opinions as you? [mutuals]

most of the time, no. i truly do not care about liking/disliking a certain character, or having differing takes on media, regardless of my stance on it as long as you make an effort to tag your posts so i don't have to look at it. i'm a strong believer in "do what you want," and "think what you want" but i also believe that we all create our own tumblr experience and are responsible for what we are exposed to here. just be nice!

that being said, circumstances change and if i get uncomfy with content i'm seeing on my dash i won't hesitate to unfollow yo ass even if we are friends 💔

can i read your steven universe fics?

yeah of course! the most complete collection of them can be found posted under the pseudonym whiskey-coffee on ao3. i'm working on a masterlist for tumblr at the moment.

would you write for SU now?

hmm, uh probably not... but maybe? it'd have to be a damn good request lmao

attack-on-titan-specific:

what is "the road not taken" / "TRNT"?

my passion project of sorts. it's Annie x reader, multichapter and set post-canon and basically my personal fix-it fic to give her a happy ending. here is a link to the masterpost of the fic, and check out my tag list to see where you can find content for the fic and it's associated works.

why are you so salty about ar/uan/i?

mostly because i hate armin. and because everything i liked about my favorite character died in a crystal in 2013 when she got reduced to the waifu of the mangaka's self-insert. it sickens me to see half the fandom say they're "canon" based on one panel where they stand next to each other. also because eremin is better.

you hate armin? but he's my lil uwu baby cinnamon roll. why?!

yes, i do. a lot. the main reasons:

what happened to yelena? why did she just disappear?

isayama forgor 💀

let's be real, she's probably in jail.

do you like the ending?

no. it was messy and sends a lot of horrible messages including domestic violence as love and fascism presented as a solution. honestly at this point i barely like attack on titan for the plot, y'all. i've been following it since i was 14 and i'm attached. the characters deserve better and i can fix them.

what aot ships do you like?

i made a post about it once! you can also check out my tag directory for a more detailed list with links.

[rose-blooms-red]

@universes-mystery you are a menace to society and I am in....so much pain

anyways, long story short, I have been convinced to make an updated fic post thingy after someone went through my blog and made me look at my old fics :’) 

So!! uhh yeah Ro Fic Hype Post take 2 lmao, i have too many fics at this point so im just gonna link some that made me happy or just that i remember having a grand time writing.

Star Wars

“Be the Rarepair content you want to see in the world”: Listing all the ones from this series would take too long. Just know that these were all a joy to write and that there is a Large Variety lol.

not something that you put to bed: my first foray into soft wars! lmao, i was super nervous with this one lol but I do still like it more than i usually like my fics! And i was happy with how this one came out. It’s Edee squad centric, specifically Neyo and Fox interaction and yeah, there’s a reason i joke that my brand is trauma recovery dkjfskjdf.

don’t break the bottle: my second go at soft wars and I do still like this one, it’s Cody and Neyo centric, around Cody getting Neyo’s pledge and dealing with leftover stuff from Priest’s training. There’s things i’d def try and do better but, its nice and not as bad as i feared nkjdfjnd.

sins of the father: this is a second person Boba Fett character study and I do actually still adore it. it kicked off it’s own series actually, that I cowrite with @graaaaceeliz and has expanded far past what i thought would be just a tiny little oneshot to put my boba and jango feelings. It was a fun adventure into writing in a writing perspective i dont use much and helped me get a bit of a grasp on both Boba and Jango

and the whisper in your head goes quiet: another 2nd person Boba fic, made people mad at me jdfnsjkf. Includes the hc that Boba had a chip and it malfunctioned and Jango had the Kaminoans remove it.

the hum in the air (and the gentle love): was really nice to write and i do still love how soft it is,though there are things i’d def change. It’s a soft little codywan oneshot with poetry.

gentling the edges: Neyo and babies, im just...so soft, there is so much soft

little darling: Fox and babies, because i am so soft still over babies and the older clones okay.

you will be alone, always: was a fun one, made some people cry lol. Obi-Wan centric, canon compliant, with hints of QP Codywan.

love or the lack of it: Bly and Neyo centric, lots of fun to write lol. Soft wars, and im still quite pleased with it. a bit heavy, heed the tags.

the art of the mind: Soft wars, Jet and Bacara Centric. i loved exploring them more honestly, i kinda wanna do something else with them.

Messing around in the soft wars sandbox: now that i think about it, just linking this series might be better XD a lot of the next few I was going to put are from here. It’s basically just all fics set within the Soft War’s AU by @thefoundationproject lol

(give me) something soft: one of my first fics in the Star wars fandom, It’s Kix/Agen and I’m still super soft over this pairing and writing this made me v soft.

the burning heat upon my back: another one of my first few fics in the star wars fandom, It’s an Anakin introspection type piece as I was trying to figure out how to write him and getting settled in the fandom.

like a lazy ocean (hugs the shore): Wingfic, Kit Fisto centric, hinted possible kit/monnk. This was just hilarious to write lmao.

calm your mind and quell your fears: Wingfic, Obi-Wan centric, soft, QP Codywan fluff.

name the child innocence: was fun, Wingfic, Jango Fett centric, it’s a lot heavier than the other wingfics tho, so heed the tags.

childhood (strong and full of foreboding): apparently i really like doing explorations on trauma and how the past can shape you and how you can shape yourself in spite of the past and things like that kjdsnkjsdf. It’s told in various Clone’s p.o.v and switches between Anakin and Obi-Wan’s Not Fun Childhoods.

hold your heart (be still): Ahsoka and Rex bonding! set in the same universe as childhood!

DC

the art of siblings is that sometimes you just wanna fight them: A lot of fun lol, batfam centric, the kids being Themselves and Dick is Exasperated lol

we lay here (for years or for hours): which is an introspection and sort of character study on dick that throws out any semblance of timeline or canon. trigger warnings for depressive and suicidal thought and major character injury

setting fire to our insides for fun (to distract our hearts from ever missing them): in which dick is sad, bruce is gone, and dick really just wants his dad, his sleep-deprived mind decides to be kind, because the world is not, this one made me sad

i have tried to hoard your love (and found it slipping through my fingers): a look at Jason and books, and the complex thing that is a childs need to be loved

fault lines: A fic about recovery and the difficulties, or; Dick Grayson and trauma, recovery, and his siblings. Something’s wrong with all of them but they work through it, eventually.

this one is a rough ride, still a WIP and it deals with a lot of heavy topics, flashbacks, trauma and discussions of the trauma, deaths, injuries, rape, broken relationships and dysfunctional ones, borderline abusive behaviour, talks about all of the above, and the healing process. Tread lightly with this one as it deals with heavy topics in it’s quest to say fuck you to certain dc writers.

Bnha

Shock: Kaminari feels, The dangers of electric quirks

Flicker: The Todoroki’s deserve better, Dabi is an angry child who misses his mama

All I’ve Ever Known: Genfic, Dabi is Touya, Fuck gender, Chronic pain, Touya/Dabi needs help

We go down swinging, My lovers and I: Shigadabihawks, Major Character Death, not a happy one folks.

[afrosarah]

On God, the users who are always showing up on queer people's posts to tell them they can't call themselves (and only themselves) that bad word are almost always users that have uncensored slurs right there in their fucking USERNAME or else first thing in their Tumblr bio.

Like, just say you think different rules apply to you because you think your reclaimed slur, which you know full fucking well has been and will be weaponized just as if not MORE than "queer", is valid, but ours is too inclusive! Just say you're an exclusionist, block the word, or block the user, and go away lol! If you're so distressed by seeing this word, why are you taking so much time to scour tags to seek it out???

I have so much more respect for people who don't try to justify themselves with transparent bullshit and are just honest.

Do not dare derail this post with "queer is a slur" or "some people are uncomfortable with that word 😬" like yeah bitch! Don't I know it! I know a thing or two about slurs - I'm a queer black chick in Kentucky lmao! Speaking of which - it seems all you non-black folks on here suddenly have a perfect understanding of slur reclamation and identity politics when you know not to cone onto black folks' posts to ask us not refer to ourselves as "nigga" 🤔

I use the word "mulatto" to identify myself despite its history as an offensive term for mixed black/white people. Like - that's me, baby! That's an important part of my identity! It's a good word because I'M good, homie! I love being mixed, I love being mulatto! But I'm not gonna label other mixed people that way, because they might think it's offensive, and that is ok! But if I'm on the internet talking about myself and somebody asks me to stop referring to myself that way because it's a bad word.. FUCK OUTTA HERE. I'm not calling you that word! - if you don't want to see it when *I* call *myself* that word, then you gotta block the word using the tools given to you, or you gotta block me. But I will not censor that extremely important part of me for your comfort, I'm sorry.

It is perfectly valid to be upset by the word "queer" and I hope everyone who is distressed by it is able to curate their Tumblr experience in a way that they will be protected. But! You should not rely on others to protect you when the tools are in your own hands. There are certain sounds and subjects that trigger my PTSD and I am careful to block and filter out posts that might contain them. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe there is any good faith reason to need to ask someone to tag their posts "q slur" if they are uncomfortable doing that, when "queer" or "q word" will be content-filtered just the same. The ONLY reason would be to scold them and remind them of the negative aspect of that word, when for them it is a positive word, just like how "mulatto" is positive for me.

Anyway, I'm not gonna sit here and see teenagers fresh out of clown school graduation with "fag" and "dyke" and "tranny" in their USERNAME and plastered all over their blogs try to police the word queer on account of it being "harmful to see UwU". Either you realize you only have a problem with "queer" and aren't actually trying to protect anybody's feelings from being hurt by seeing certain words, or else your lack of self-awareness is borderline clinical. Fuck outta here.

[feliciohno]

I'm back but not without a quick psa

Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.

So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.

If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?

Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).

That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.

The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.

The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.

And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).

So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches

[rpbetter]

You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D

[jbbuckybarnes]

Advice for getting started & making friends 💕

Since Tumblr ruined the original answer post to the ask: Hi!!! Thank you. I’ll go a little more in-depth with the answer and I hope you don’t mind.

1. Always know that no matter how good or bad you think your writing is: There are Wattpad books that were made into movies, so there will always be someone that will like what you write.

2. Tagging. Is. Important. Even though Tumblr is incredibly bad with its tagging system it’s always good to use tags so people following them can see your work. Try not to tag stuff wrong though. Did that a few times without noticing it and people were not happy about it. Understandably so.

3. Also always have warnings on your works and if there is something trigger warning worthy put it in the tags of the post with “xyz tw” and/or “tw xyz”. Also put age warnings in case you write 18+ content.

4. Utilize the option to block tags in case you wanna follow someone but you don’t wanna see certain fandoms/celebs. That also works for trigger warning tags.

5. Don’t feel bad about low reblog numbers. I have this amount of followers now and most of my works get 3-8 reblogs.

6. Don’t be afraid to tag some friendly bigger blogs in your first works. They might love what you do a lot. I, personally, am always up to be tagged in stuff.

7. Join writing challenges. Usually 50% of the bigger blogs have some kind of writing challenge going on. Those are great to get exposure and find other works to interact with. My current one is HERE.

8. When it comes to making friends it really depends. I think interacting frequently is a good start, but I found actual Tumblr DM’s to be the most helpful. Write your favorite writers that you liked a particular piece of their work or if you know you both have another shared interest, you can send them a Tumblr post about that. Example: I send baking enthusiasts cool looking food posts. But sometimes even DM’s don’t lead anywhere. Some people on here just don’t really want to make friends.

9. Interact with people’s personal posts. You’ll learn a bit about them from those. For example: I know that @buckyland​ has a cute cat and prefers greenery in pots and not vases (lmao).

10. Self-promo: I made a Discord server for MCU writers and it’s still going steady. Link for that is in my bio. We’re always excited for new people on there.

11. Asks are a great way to support writers beyond reblogging. Ask games are a great way to interact. Sending Requests is also appreciated by most people having open requests.

12. Decide if you want your own asks to include anons or not. But be prepared that if you enable anon asks, that you might get some dumbass spewing bullshit in there every few weeks (at least if you interact a lot w others). Vividly remember my first hate for interacting with my favorite writer.

13. Depending on how much you write you can plan your fics ahead. I, for example, publish most of my chapter based works once a week and only start publishing once they are at least 75% written. Others have ongoing works but I feel like the consensus on it is mostly “wait until you have a good idea of the ending or a rough outline.” @captain-kelli for example, writes her 'Call Sign: Renaissance’ series as an ongoing work but knows where it’s going and plots it out accordingly.

14. Know where to get inspiration. I personally have just trained myself to create everyday. Fiction, non-fiction, art, graphics, etc. It’s a good habit to have, but if you don’t have it you might wanna start an inspiration list or a side blog where you spam all your inspirations. Pinterest also is a good place for that.

15. Research how to link something in the mobile bio to put your masterlist there. There is this wonderful error Tumblr has, where you can’t change your profile on mobile or those links will vanish, so be aware of that. Just save that HTML code in a document lol.

16. Speaking of documents. I suggest writing your works in Google Documents, since it has a document history to refer to in the awful case of someone stealing your work. Preventative measure.

17. If you want a specific theme for your blog on desktop, you can DM me, I have tons of resources saved on another blog of mine.

18. For a nice mobile theme, you can visit @whimsicalrogers, search for headers and icons on Tumblr or request them from talented people per ask or DM. *cough* I make some too. *cough*

19. Oh, I also almost forgot this, but ALWAYS put a “Read More” break after more than 500 words in your posts. On desktop it mostly works in the normal editor, but there are also HTML codes in case it doesn’t work or you are on mobile. Basically, learn a few HTML basics for Tumblr in general, they always come in handy when this hellsite decides not to work.

Bottomline: Don’t be afraid to interact with your nickname being there front and center. Let yourself get seen. If your fandom blog is a side blog you can link them to each other in the bio like I did.

PS: The main reason why I got so many followers very quickly was for writing 31 smut pieces early on and tagging them well. Please know that follower count doesn’t mean much on here as long as the algorithm is trashy. Stick with interacting with people you wanna befriend and don’t let yourself get down too much over little reblogging.

But, of course, always try to find and reblog new people. That keeps the community alive and also spreads your name a bit, as well as the names of others.

If you need more advice or have any questions feel free to DM me or another blogger you trust.

To all my fellow bloggers: Feel free to leave more tips under this post. I’m sure I forgot at least one thing lol-

[hydradrive]

Go Hellnalysis (aka : hydradrive gets mad at the fanbase for ignoring go’s ongoing 2 season long breakdown for like, 5+ paragraphs)

We are talking S1 foreshadowing as it relates to the facts of S2. As already mentioned, I think it sucks of the writers to do it to him like how it sucks how they treated Emma and Aoi throughout the entire series and reeks of colorism like. having your two darkest skinned characters be actively antagonistic as s2 goes on is a bad fucking look. 

But it’s there, and I am not happy that people defend Lightning weirdly when he treats people he knew for years badly, and then turn around and say wildly fucked up shit about Go.

I guess today is the day i Get Into It Again. I’ll be rehashing some of my points from my old thread on nac, so strap in i guess.

This is said to Playmaker in season two. 

‘After i lost to you’. 

So, by episode 4. And the text backs this up. The text in season one aligns.

In Go Onizuka VS Genome :

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Dr. Genome : Did your defeat at Playmaker’s hands force you to evolver? 

Go Onizuka : As much as I hate to admit it, yes. That was when everything changed. 

/end text screenshot id ]

That was when everything changed.

Let’s look at the rest of it, then. How it affected him, in the long-term. The Go Analysis... Is here.

MASSIVE CWs for discussion of canonical weight loss, brief discussion of disordered eating in the context of that, and a whole bunch of other stuff re: the brain hack that I don’t even know how to tag, really. medical? Basically, if you have any triggers relating to that, please exercise due diligence because I will not pull any punches about the implications.

tldr version :

This is real dialogue from Go Onizuka’s first (and only) duel against Revolver. 

No matter what he says trying to spin it a different way after this segment of text, that it’s about fighting for yourself, these statements exist, and they exist with the context given by his own words; that he was struggling, mental health-wise, when he said these words.

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Go Onizuka : Until now, I’ve battled in front of huge crowds. (There is a single beat frame, to indicate silence.) But I realized I’m all alone. There are no fans rooting for me here. I realized... We always duel alone. We fight for ourselves, not for anyone else. 

/end text screenshot id ]

But perhaps this isn’t compelling enough for people. Fine. Let’s go even further back.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : Go Onizuka : It’s my fault that Makoto is in this condition. /end text screenshot id ]

Go has an easily seen habit of assuming the worst, and with regards to stuff like Makoto, blaming himself, to the point that if his manager hadn't said more on Makoto, he would've been going into VS Genome blaming himself for Makoto getting into duel monsters in the first place.

In episode 5 it was shown that with one loss he was entirely certain that nobody would care about him in any capacity:

But why?

... It’s brought up in one of the first episodes of the entire series.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : 

Go Onizuka’s Manager : That’s exactly it. It’s a winner-take-all world, after all. 

/end text id. ]

And given an even more... depressing? Spin later, when Go thinks about it throughout S1 and S2 during his duel with Takeru:

[ transcript for screen readers : 

Before I was placed in the orphanage, I only relied on myself. The world I lived in was all about survival of the fittest. “You must protect yourself” was my credo. 

/ end text screenshot id ]

It’s genuinely that simple. He slipped back into his old way of surviving because the way he did in season one didn't. save him. it didn't save him from a duel he needed to win, not just for himself necessarily. he would have died if playmaker had lost. a lot of people would have. He was already starting to have these doubts about his entire reason d’etre for dueling, and his loss only further spurred it on.

It’s repeated, again and again:

[ transcript for screen readers :

Go Onizuka : For everyone to appreciate me, I must win! 

/end text screenshot id ]

That sentiment. “People won’t like me if I lose.” “People will abandon me, if I lose.” In his own words, his losses, losses in duels that were important, rotted him. And it /is/ true. His manager said he’d leave if he went to try and stop the Tower Of Hanoi and lost. And he followed through with it, by all implications. He didn’t come back until season 3. Keeping in mind that Go’s self-hatred spiral regarding guilt over in his mind dragging Makoto into the mess that was season one-era Hanoi shenanigans was only cut off because his manager and other people talked him out of it... Yeah.

This is before we bring in the other complicating factor : a certain little company, who never did anything good for anyone. A man, who despite supposedly being well-intentioned, did very little to help, until it reached the darkest point.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers, since that’s the primary important stuff : 

Akira Zaizen : But we don’t intend to acknowledge that the network was on the brink of destruction. So I ask you don’t cause the press to delve into this. 

/end text screencap id]

People focus so much on him yelling at the press because they keep asking about Playmaker but with this context?

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You’ll continue to be the focus of the press. /end text screenshot id ]

He’s not allowed to talk about how you nearly died.

He’s not allowed to talk about what really was at stake.

In fact, he’s not allowed to even act in a way that makes people even a little suspicious about what happened.

And yet.

‘But he could just ignore this advice’ . Not really. Go Onizuka’s platform was built in Link Vrains. Being the whistleblower about the actual danger of Link Vrains would not endear him to Sol, and potential backlash from Sol, from everything we know about the company? Hmm, gosh, wonder why that might be bad. Almost as if Go is basically a livestreamer who is at risk of having the video platform he exists on die.

It would be incredibly difficult to continue working under the public eye like that. The stress from that alone would start tearing someone to pieces.

Ergo, his decision to work for Sol Technologies as a bounty hunter. Both jobs now hinge on him currying favor with a horrible megacorporation, one just has less baggage from his past way of surviving and gives him the ability to talk a tiny bit more freely about things.

This is all the leadup, of course, to the ultimate lowest point. The duel chip. Brain hack.

[ transcript text for screen readers: ‘By implanting this duel chip, the brain’s thought capabilities expand.’ /end text screenshot id ]

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You can always refuse.

Go Onizuka : Your methods are dirty. You guide me to the gates of hell, but you don’t care what happens afterwards.  /end text screenshot id ] 

Let’s talk about the physical side-effects of the brain chip on Go Onizuka.

Me, personally? I genuinely wonder what came first; the most severe physical side-effects or a worsening of Go’s mental health that made him stop eating. 

It’s never stated what came first. We only see the mental health side effects of the chip in flashbacks initially.

I looked at one of the instances where Akira pulled go out of the sim wrt: the listed sys/dia ratios on-screen. They have those in certain shots, btw! They’re consistently really fucked up!

Here’s what those were, in one very notable instance:

... So, right off the bat, a heartrate of 195, huh.

And a sys/dia of 187/112 with a mean of 136. Wow! I wonder what that means for him!

I can tell you. 

He statistically would be in the range of having a hypertensive emergency. Having rates like this can damage your heart muscle when you don’t literally have a heart attack, hypertensive encephalopathy, ( which can cause dizziness and altered levels of consciousness, if we are getting into it.), kidney failure, coughing up blood...

I don’t want to speculate too much about why the Duel Chip caused this, but I will note that blood pressures like this sometimes come about as result of issues with the neuroendocrine system. This would tie in with a loss of appetite and some of the other things Go seems to canonically have had from the getgo of having the chip installed, and probably added on to his already pre-existing mental health stuff which I personally parsed as depression.

... I think this mostly covers the main points of what gets missed. Aka, literally all of his arc. Just, literally every piece of his arc. People miss all of it.

Also, to reiterate : it is NOT GOOD the way this is framed by the writers. it is loaded to, in a series heavily informed by the main character’s trauma, have a teenaged darker skin character ( Go is 19!! ) be portrayed as more erratic, etc etc. I do Not care about Lightning. He is a little robot, and while there is probably some ableism in the way trauma is represented therein as a corrupting force, it is far more worrying how Go is treated in terms of representation, and I am not going to bat for the guy who treated Haru like dogshit lmao. 

The fact that one of the two darker skinned MOC is given more obvious mental/physical illness signifiers in terms of symptoms to mark them as antagonists (when, again, Yusaku literally CANONICALLY HAS PTSD) fucking blows, and I���m going to personally fight the writers. 

But. I am also laying the blame at the fanbase’s feet for this shit, too. They literally ignored this to coo over Lightning. I’m going to bite them.

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.