#how to accidentally become a jaeger pilot in ten easy steps

[avelera]

Hi! For the Director's Cut, how about "How to Accidentally Become a Jaeger Pilot in 10 Easy Steps"? Particularly the stick-fighting scene, (which I adore), but really any commentary on it would be awesome :)

Oiajsdoiasjd AAAAH, thank you I really adore that one too, it’s so fun! 

OK, so, I’ve actually got stuff to say about the fight scene in "How to Accidentally Become a Jaeger Pilot in 10 Easy Steps“! 

First of all, it’s the scene that made me want to write the fic in the first place and I plotted most of the fic while on the treadmill, where a lot of my more “active” story ideas come together. I think it was also after seeing a Tumblr post that broke down to something like, “Wouldn’t it be funny if Newt and Hermann actually became Jaeger pilots because Newt would hate that?” 

I mean, obviously there are other takes on the character, I can easily see a version where Newt would be delighted to become a , but based on his (deleted scene) confrontation with Raleigh I’ve always personally headcanoned Newt as a bit anti-Jaeger pilot, seeing them as the manifestations of Earth’s instinct to “shoot first, ask questions later” that is constantly getting in the way of his work being, y’know, effective at finding some other way to solve this massive invasion Earth is going through!

So I thought, “Yeah, it would be funny. Y’know what would be even funnier? Newt and Hermann doing the stick fight battle.” And thus the fic was born.

After that, I got really excited to write it because IRL I’m a bit of a fight junkie, as they say in the LARPing world. Over the years I’ve done 1) boxing 2) kickboxing 3) historically accurate (as in, not for the stage) longsword choreography 4) full-contact (foam weapon) LARP combat 5) bujinkan ninjutsu 6) and olympic-style foil fencing. I’ve been itching to find a place in one of my fics to put some of this knowledge to the test without it coming off as preachy or overly technical, so such a fic would be the perfect opportunity!

It was a real delight to write Newt and Hermann getting their own version of Mako and Raleigh’s famous fight scene (albeit a comical version because Newt does nothing but scream and run around dodging). Such a fight is also possible in this fic because Hermann does not have the limp, with the conceit being that it’s more that he doesn’t have it yet and in fact avoids ever getting it as compared to the canon timeline. Another Jaeger pilot, Stefan, is briefly mentioned as being 60% compatible with Hermann and “built like a Mr. World contestant”. I envisioned him as the person who deliberately broke Hermann’s hip after they got paired together in a malicious effort to get a different partner. Newt joining the academy prevents that event from occurring in this timeline.

So, Hermann is at this point is a pretty lean, mean, twenty-six year old fighting machine with a lot to prove. He’s been dreaming his whole adult life about being a Jaeger pilot, so needless to say he’s pretty good at this whole stick-fighting thing. Hermann’s expertise and exacting nature allowed me to include discussions of a bunch of the forms and stances I learned from longsword choreography. Basically, Hermann is fighting in many of the descriptions in (ironically) the Medieval German-style longsword form, which bears some resemblance to kendo (there are only so many ways to hit someone with a longsword so the similarities between those very different styles is often, heh, striking). 

One anecdote from the fight in the fic that I realy enjoyed including is, “What would be the score, out of five, between two fencing masters? 5 to 5? No, zero to zero. Because two masters would fight one another to a standstill without scoring a point.” This is a true story I was told by one of my teachers back when I was fencing. Like Newt in the fic, I guessed 5-5. But the fact it’s zero to zero got me thinking.

I went back and re-watched the Mako vs. Raleigh fight and developed a theory. Maybe scoring a point in that fight isn’t a sign of success, it’s a sign of a loss in the true aim of the fight. After all, the true goal of the match is to discover compatibility, not defeat your opponent. 

If you and your opponent are well matched and compatible, neither of you should ever score on one another at all. Thus it is the length the fight goes without someone scoring on the other that would determine Drift compatibility. In essence, your high score is actually how many times you block or dodge one another, which indicates you anticipated the other’s movements. A hit or a successful strike, even against your opponent, indicates a failure and a lower score on your Drift compatibility rating. 

Thus, in that fight, when Newt successfully dodges Hermann’s attacks for a half hour (btw, a truly insane length of time to be fighting, most Medieval duels lasted under five minutes), even when Hermann is a much more skilled duelist, they are still found to be insanely Drift compatible. After all, it would have been silly and out of character for Newt to be able to match Hermann when Hermann’s been practicing so hard and taking this so seriously, and while the Newt of this fic is a pacifist (there is a note that his bar fight earlier in the story is the first one he’s ever been in). But, because they’re so compatible, Newt is able to visualize Hermann’s movements before they happen and successfully avoid them even while in panic mode, and while having a screaming argument.

Because you absolutely cannot write these two without the screaming arguments, lol. Fight scenes have always been a classic place to mirror physical sparring with verbal sparring, and in a way it’s a send-up to GDT’s intention with the stick fight scene in the movie and how it mirrors Hermann and Newt’s verbal fights. Not only can these two have a perfect match in which no point is scored, they can also do so while name-calling one another and airing all their dirty relationship laundry for everyone in the Shatterdome to hear XD 

It’s one of the scenes I’m most proud of writing so I had a lot of fun getting to babble about it, thank you so much!

[agentsokka]

Davekat Fic Recs [P2]

Continuation of my Davekat fic rec list from ye old 2016. An absolute metric shit ton of Damn Good Fics™ have dropped since then, and it’s criminal I haven’t updated that original list in so long. 

As per usual with these things, you won’t find much luck here with smut content. Some stories feature scenes, but for the most part, the fics themselves aren’t exclusively about such.

Cheers!

[Oneshots]

English is Full of Really Shitty Metaphors: You knew you probably shouldn't stay on a planet mostly inhabited by trolls once you finished your adult pupation and your blood color became more apparent. You also knew that you should learn a couple of other languages so that your weren't floundering around like an idiot when you eventually did move. Talking to random aliens on the internet seemed like a really good way to practice.

Fatalistic Humor, or, Jokes to Make Post-Mortem: ‘Head over heels’ is an appropriate turn of phrase because falling in love is exactly like throwing yourself down an endless staircase of inconvenient emotion.

i’m at the combination dunkin donuts & urgent care: Karkat Vantas is convinced beyond a doubt that his neighbor is some variety of murderer, until they actually meet in person. Highlights include blood at the laundromat, Dave's weird obsession with candles, and a box of shitty swords.

In Which a Loser is Sick: IN WHICH A LOSER IS SICK AND TRIES TO DENY IT, A TROLL IS ALSO A LOSER AND TRIES TO DENY IT, PISSING PANTS IS DISCUSSED IN THE SAME LINE OF CONVERSATION AS CALMING DOWN, VRISKA IS MENTIONED BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE IS, SOUP IS MADE AND SUBSEQUENTLY IGNORED, AND AN ACT OF AFFECTION IS REPAID BY THE WEAKENING OF AN IMMUNE SYSTEM. Dave gets sick and Karkat takes care of him.

Pretty Friggin’ MATRIMONIAL: Karkat is planning the proposal to end all proposals, but a clueless Dave has plans of his own.

Rumination: Dave and Karkat do some thinking, talking, kissing, and cuddling. Not necessarily in that order.

Self Sabotage and Other Symptoms of a Damaged Soul: Ok so everyone knows Dave and Dirk had a long amazing talk that presumably ended with Dave asking him for advice on the Being Not Straight stuff. My problem is, Dave also spent three years with his gloriously gay twin sister on a fucking space rock while he was right in the middle of coming to terms with all this stuff. So I wrote this mostly to reconcile the gap I think exists there, with a bunch of other Dave centric stuff thrown in with it.

Shitty Punchlines are the Purest Form of Self-Deprecation: Laying somewhere solidly post-credits and wondering, when do we start feeling like winners? Or is that not part of the package? Where's our fucking GameFAQs guide to navigating these stupid first steps into an eternity processing whatever the FUCK just happened, here? Going through that door was supposed to fix everything. Wasn't it? What's it going to take to fix ourselves?

Sleepwalk: Dave has unfortunate nocturnal habits. Karkat handles them better than anyone might've expected.

Start at the Beginning: Don't stop until eternity. And even then. (Davekat, meteor to can land to earth c and on. Happy anniversary.)

Sweatertown - Population: Two: Dave's cape gets hijacked, but Karkat knows what to do about it.

Tested: Dave and Karkat want to escape Aperture Science Laboratories.

That Cultural Divide: “Dave,” says Karkat neutrally, “why are they beating him up?” And your mouth runs dry.

Valentine’s Day: Valentine's Day through the three years on the meteor.

What to do When Your Boyfriend is Too Hot: Moving to a new universe and a new paradigm brings a lot of changes. And Dave kind of likes the way things were before, back on the Meteor, when he had Karkat all to himself and didn't spend sleepless nights waiting for the shoe to fall.

[Multichap]

About a Time I Failed: A doomed timeline AU. Instead of trolling John, Karkat finds himself scrolling through Dave's entire timeline. He is horrified by what he finds, and ends up in a pseudo-friendship with somewhat reluctant Dave. The story spans the rest of this timeline- Dave and Karkat's budding internet romance, the beta kids becoming friends, the start of SBURB, and, eventually, all of them realizing that Dave and Karkat's diversion from the Alpha Timeline has doomed them all. [Incomplete]

And it’s a Downward Spiral from There: One day, the whole world is going to acknowledge you as that one guy who finally made contact with aliens, but if you had known that getting drunk was going to lead up to abduction, a potential probing, and becoming the worst cult sacrifice this side of the galaxy, you probably would have just stayed at home. [Ongoing]

Astronomy in Reverse: Dave and Karkat are intergalactic pen pals, originally paired together for an extra credit school outreach project. Now, three years of correspondence later, they're best friends... and Karkat is finally immigrating to Earth. [Ongoing]

Breathe: Your name is Dave Strider, and there's nothing good about John and Rose changing schools. Without your twin sister and best friend, you've been left socially crippled at school, and barely coping at home. You're nearly certain that your mental health has been slowly spiraling downhill. You have no clue how you'll last the year to high school graduation. In all this, there's just one single ray of light. Your name is Dave Strider, and there's nothing good about John and Rose changing schools. Except for meeting Karkat Vantas. [Ongoing]

**The Calm is Terrifying When the Storm is All You’ve Known**: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist. Slow burn, shifting perspectives; romance really isn't the focus here but it'll still play a significant part; extra content warnings will be posted with each relevant chapter. [Ongoing] [y’all I’m serious read it it’ll water your crops and clear your chakras it’s Good Shit]

cold desert: Curiosity killed the cat. It probably just wasn't as good at being nosy as Dave is. [Ongoing]

Demon Eyes: In which Dave goes in to kill a demon for his bro, and things...don't exactly go as planned. [Ongoing]

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents: One minute you get a mysterious message from a man who types all in white like a jackass, and then the next thing you know you're being whisked away to a mystical school for kids with superpowers. If you weren't Dave fucking Strider, this sort of thing might bother you. [Ongoing]

Fortuitous: Dave and Karkat build a pillow fort and an unexpected chain of events occurs. [Ongoing]

If I Lose Everything in the Fire: The Kaiju - or Horrorterrors, as the trolls call them - first invaded Earth through a transdimensional rift at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Serving the Condesce in her quest to add Earth to the Alternian Empire, these monsters have terrorized humanity for twelve years. With the help of rebel troll factions and the adaptation of Alternian mind integration technology - The Drift - the Interspecies Defense Program has fought back as the last line of defense between the Kaiju and Earth. Karkat Vantas was a Jaeger pilot, fought for freedom in the Assault on the Breach that brought trolls to Earth. The loss of his co-pilot left him bitter and full of rage, but desperate times have lead to him being recruited to join the fray once more. Dave Strider is the best and brightest the Interspec program has to offer. Jaeger Restoration Project Head, highest simulation score on record, and younger brother of the Deputy Marshal - except he's not allowed in a Jaeger. Nobody expects them to be Drift Compatible. [Ongoing]

i'm sick of the things i do when i'm nervous: Two idiots poke at recovery with a stick. [Complete]

IN WHICH TWO SETS OF HUMAN BROTHERLY BONDS ARE ESTABLISHED, SEVERAL CORRUPT INSTITUTIONS OF MORALITY ARE IDEOLOGICALY DEMOLISHED, A DOG WITCH USES GOD POWERS TO MESS WITH EXQUISTELY CAREFULLY PLANNED INFRASTRUCTURE PLANS FOR SOME TREES LIKE A JACKASS--: --APPROXIMATELY A BILLION FUCKING CONSORTS AND CHESS PEOPLE, ALONG WITH A LOT OF USELESS GOD MODED LAYABOUTS ARE LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL COLONIZATION AND ESTABLISHMENT BY A SUCCESSFUL AND COMPASSIONATE LEADER, AND LONG-SUNDERED SOULMATES TORN APART BY FEAR AND DEVASTATING, MIND-BOGGLING STUPIDITY ARE REUNITED AT LAST BY A WISE, COMPASSIONATE BOSS / GUIDANCE FIGURE AND HIS LOYAL, EFFICIENT RIGHT-HAND MAN. THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE CRYING SCENES, TWO KISSES, AND OVER TEN TOTAL MINUTES OF REAL-TIME DESCRIPTION OF LONGING GAZES AND TENDER HUGS. 2 RESOUNDING ENDORSEMENTS OF BELOVED MUNICIPAL OFFICIALS. PRIMERS ON HUMAN/TROLL INTERSPECIES ROMANCE. THIS TEXT IS SUGGESTED SCHOOLFEEDING MATERIAL FOR ALL REASONABLY GROWN HATCHLINGS GAZING OUT ON THE BLIGHTED WASTELAND OF THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, WISHING THEY WERE DEAD, AND DESPERATELY YEARNING SOMEONE WOULD CLUE THEM IN ON JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. RATED 8(17)+ AND UP. [Complete]

M.C. Escher that's My Favorite MC [It’s the End of the World as We Know It]: Dirk has a plan, when he's 18 he's going to take Dave and get him the fuck out of their terrible lives and start over. Until then being the barrier between Dave and Bro is his only job, his soulmate is just going to have to wait goddamnit. Dave has a plan, it involves getting internet famous and not going gay, easy right? Karkat also has a plan, to repeatedly track down his dumb as rocks soulmate and get him to actually talk to him for fuck's sake. [Ongoing]

Midnight’s Son: Dave Strider's father, a prominent detective, is tasked with infiltrating the Midnight Crew. Dave, worried about his father's safety, decides to do a little undercover work of his own and tries to befriend the boss's son, Karkat Vantas. [Complete]

Nothing Risked, Nothing Lost: Try as he might, Dave remembered nothing from the first four years of his life. There were three signs of imminent upheaval. First, the King of Derse disappeared without a trace. Second, the Queen of Prospit dropped dead. The third sign was the return of long-lost royalty. Not like any of this was Dave's concern. Not the war between Prospit and Derse, not the horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring, not the failings of some dumb monarchs. He was a nobody. Not like Rose, a bona fide Seer of Light. He wasn't sure why she wanted them to go to Derse, but he followed her, anyway. Like he always did. [Hiatus]

Off Court: Your name is Dave Strider, and a hospital wasn’t the setting you had imagined when you thought of seeing your twin again. Your name is Karkat Vantas, and having Terezi drag you around her weird human legislacerator training probably wasn’t the worst way you could spend the rest of your sweeps. And then you meet him. [Ongoing]

Palisades, Palisades: In your memories, you see Dave Strider, fourteen-years-old and made up of lean muscle and awkward limbs that he would still need a few years to grow into fully. Crows surround him, all cawing impatiently, vying for the chicken sandwich in his backpack. He swears loudly as he swings a stick at them, trying to get them to leave him the fuck alone. “Stupid feathery assholes,” he’d always complain once he finally shooed them away. You tear yourself out of the memory. You miss him, and you hate yourself for it. [Complete]

The Red Thing: The first time you ever realised there was something wrong with you, you were two sweeps old. You still remember it like it was just yesterday. You were at the playground in your then-community, which you had long since moved from. You’d been playing ‘tag’ with some of the other young trolls, but had tripped and scraped your knees. One of the other troll’s custodial guardians had noticed what had happened, and wandered over to make sure you were alright. You don’t think you’ll ever forget the look on her face when she picked you up and saw the mutant-red seeping through the knees of your pants. Things spiraled downhill quickly after that. You’d never quite understood what was happening when you were young, but you’d known that you’d become an outcast. Other trolls around you started to avoid you. Sometimes they’d throw things at you – food, stones, anything that might hurt you. Other times, they’d call you names – mistake, mutant, freak. You preferred when they tried to hurt you. At least then you could fight back. [Ongoing]

space cowboy disaster zone: Your name is Karkat Vantas, and these nights you eke out a quiet living on Antoren-3, helping around the Caltira Inn or scavenging out in the rust plains. It’s a simple life, and the only excitement you get for the most part is from the stories of other scavengers, a handful of bar fights, and the occasional salvageable wreck. Fresh wrecks, you’ve only seen a handful of times, and when John spots the telltale streak of light from a distant crash in the middle of a rust storm, you’re eager to get first dibs on whatever it might contain, the elements be damned. You don’t expect a survivor. [Ongoing]

Stepping Stones: A series of vignettes concerning the evolution of the relationship between Karkat Vantas and Dave Strider. Or, the troll title: IN WHICH DAVE AND KARKAT DISCUSS THE VARIOUS DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HUMAN AND TROLL GENITALS, THERE IS AN AWKWARD CONFESSION OF EMOTIONS, DAVE AND DIRK FINISH THEIR CONVERSATION ON THE ROOFTOP, DAVE GETS SOME ADVICE FROM A FEW OF THE LADIES IN HIS LIFE, AND THERE IS A SMUTTY EPILOGUE. [Complete]

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Dave was silent. YES. YOU. The voice answered him before he even had a chance to speak up and voice his confusion or curiosity with a lack of delicacy only a child was capable of. It had a harsh way of speaking, brash enough to be rude and so loud the sound of his voice practically echoed off his skull. In it he could feel the rich, crimson flow of blood, the drip, drip, of molten lava degrading stone so ancient not even the gods of old would have lived to see it form. A being so old, so vast, that even to speak his name would grant one with immeasurable power. It made him shudder, little hands clenching into fists against rough stone. HUMAN CHILD. In which Dave is alone and Dragons exist. Shenanigans ensue. [Ongoing]

Stow Away: Calm and collected, that's Dave Strider. The docking station around him is chaotic and loud but he is like ice, cool and clear. None of that is true of course, but nobody is looking closely enough to notice the way his hands shake and his eyes dart around underneath the opaque plastic of his vintage sunglasses. Dave Strider sneaks on board an Alternian ship in an attempt to flee his shitty situation on Earth. This is the first of many questionable decisions. [Complete]

Time Displacement: Side A: After the events of the game, Dave wakes up in a universe that is familiarly unfamiliar. Sburb didn't happen, all their guardians are alive, and Bro is...different. [Ongoing]

Transcend: Dave doesn't get troll romance, but that's okay because Karkat is bad at it anyway. A journey through all four quadrants and a bit more. [Complete]

[deanogarbage]

find me in the drift (FiKi)

FiKi Week Day 4: Science Fiction or Fantasy.

Anyone who knows me knows that Pacific Rim has slowly consumed my life and I am trapped in the perpetual hellscape that is Newmann. So of course I’m going to pick sci-fi and finally write my Pacific Rim AU that I’ve told @safarikalamari that I’m going to write for over a year. I wrote this in one sitting again like a crazy person.

If you’ve never watched Pacific Rim, I tried to explain the best I could within the fic so watching the movie isn’t necessary but it sure would help. Plus I need more people to join in the sadness of Newmann.

Pairing: Fili/Kili Rating: T Words: 2k-ish Summary: Pacific Rim AU. K-Scientist Killian Durin is thrust into a new position when his uncle is injured and his brother needs his help. The drift reveals some things.

2025. Hong Kong Shatterdome.

Other worldly creatures, known as the Kaiju, have been terrorizing cities on the Earth’s Pacific Rim for nearly ten years. The human world has not sat idly by and let these monsters destroy the world. Jaegers, large human operated robots, have become the saving grace of the world. These Jaegers are each powered by two human pilots through a neurologically controlled processed called the Drift. The Drift allows the pilots to move in sync to operate the Jaeger, but not just any two people are able to drift. A compatibility process is necessary. Jaeger pilots often being siblings or lovers. While the Jaegers, their pilots, and the science around them are important, there are also scientists dedicated to understanding the Kaiju and how to help the Jaeger pilots find their weaknesses and eradicate them for good.

Dr. Killian “Call me, Kili” Durin was one of the leading K-scientists in the world. He held several doctorates in several fields of biology having gone to and taught at some of the most prestigious universities of the world.

While he was proud of his job and the research he had provided toward the Kaiju Wars, he was still the black sheep of the family overall.

Back when the Kaiju had first attacked ten years prior, his two uncles became the heroes of the First Kaiju War as the top Jaeger pilots. It was assumed that he and his brother would follow in their footsteps, but that didn’t seem to be his plan.

On the other hand, his brother Philip “Please don’t call me, Fili” Durin was perhaps the best Jaeger pilot to have ever existed, or so he thought. After their Uncle Frerin’s untimely death at the end of the First Kaiju War, Fili became his Uncle Thorin’s copilot.

The Second Kaiju War had unfortunately began, the giant Godzilla-esque monsters had been spotted outside of Sydney and all hands were back on deck after a decade of relative silence.

Kili was excitedly elbow deep inside part of a kaiju carcass when one of the floor assistants came in with a worried look.

“Dr. Durin, there has been an incident with Oaken Shield. It was severely attacked by one of the Category 3 kaiju. Your uncle and brother are being transported to med bay as we speak,” her voice is worried and a little frantic.

Kili hardly has time to clean himself off before he is running off to the medbay demanding to see his family.

Fili turns out to just have minor injuries that will heal up over a week or so of rest (Kili heard that as a day or two, knowing Fili). His uncle however was not as lucky. He was suffering from some major, but not life threatening injuries.

His piloting career was over at the worst possible time.

Kili knew that there would be knew kaiju coming any day, any moment, and they were officially one Jaeger team down.

Fili had healed up in a matter of days and was already back training. He had been a Marine recruit when the First Kaiju War started. He immediately was deferred to the PPDC’s Jaeger piloting bootcamp. He was never on the deployed teams, having struggled to connect with another pilot.

It was the cruel twist of fate that his career began at his uncle’s end. He finally made a drift compatible match with his uncle. They were able to take down some of the smaller Cat 1’s and the random kaiju sighting over the past decade.

This kaiju was the largest either of them had seen and it was their undoing. While their drift was compatible, it wasn’t the strongest. Now he again was copilot-less and would have to try to find some random pilot to try and bond with.

It was his first day back from the accident, he was healed up but his muscles and body were still sore from a combination of disuse and the injury itself. Many other pilots and crew members filled the on-base gym full of machines as well as a private sparring room.

Kili is working on a punching bag with another scientist when he sees his brother walk him. He excitedly launches himself in his brother’s direction, hugging him tight.

“Look at you! Good as new!” Kili grins patting his cheek teasingly.

Fili chuckles and peels him off gently.

“I need to spar, but I need to start easy. Think you can handle it?”

Kili scoffs in offense crossing his arms.

“May I remind you that I went through all the same martial arts classes as you when we were kids. Ask Hae-Won, I was tearing that bag up over there,” he scrunches his nose.

Fili grins clasping his shoulder and pushing him toward the sparring floor.

“Well then you have nothing to be scared of then!” He pulls his own curly blond hair into a bun and slips padded gloves onto his hands.

“Jiu jitsu rules?” He offers to his younger brother who shrugs with a smile and a nod.

“Sounds good to me.”

The two meet on the middle of the floor, one of the other pilots playing referee. Kili ignoring the whispers of mostly the other pilots.

“He’s a scientist, Philip is going to kick his ass.”

“Ah, he’s injured. I bet the kid gets a good hit or two in.”

“Injured or not, I wouldn’t want to be on the opposite side of Philip.”

They bump their padded knuckles against one another before the reffing pilot signals for them to begin.

Fili easily takes Kili down on the mat within the first few second, Kili nervous about hurting his already injured brother. The knock of air out of his lungs is enough to light the spark in him.

Kili is surprised himself when he is able to go toe to toe with his brother, each fighting and maneuvering easily around one another on the floor. When Kili finds an in and has Fili pinned to the ground and having to tap out, there is nothing but a bit grin and excitement.

Less than an hour later Kili finds himself in his uncle’s hospital room as Fili and Thorin are in the throes of an argument.

“It only makes sense Thorin! Who else better for me to drift with?”

“He isn’t like us Fili! This isn’t the life he signed up for!”

Kili clears his throat realizing he must be the topic of the argument.

“He can talk for himself, you know? Fili, you want me to...drift with you?” His voice is almost incredulous.

“You’re an amazing fighter, Kili. Sure, you need some training and some finessing, but I think you could make an amazing pilot.”

“But I’m a scientist.”

“Yes, but you can be more too! Please Kili, we can do a practice drift and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But I can’t not let us try,” Fili begs with a renewed energy.

“I don’t like this,” Thorin says resolutely from his bed.

“You don’t have to like it, Kili just has to. You’ll give it a shot, won’t you Kee?”

Kili looks between the two of them before focusing on Fili.

“One time. I’ll give the practice drift one shot, if I don’t like it, I’m not doing it,” He says seriously to his brother, “I’m only considering doing it because I want to see a kaiju up close and personal.”

Fili rolls his eyes but is beyond excited at the idea of having a true drift partner.

They schedule the test drift in one of the Jaeger practice pods the next day. Fili unable to wait any longer.

Even though it is just a practice, the idea of drifting has always scared him a bit. He’s heard the pilots coached enough to know that you don’t hang onto anything in the drift, you just let it ride through.

The drift exposes each pilot to the memories, thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the other. There are no secrets in the drift. Both pilots share an intimate and genuine connection where their minds temporarily become one.

Kili swallows nervously as he steps out in the Jaeger operating outfit, his worried eyes finding Fili who offers a reassuring smile.

“These outfits are ridiculous,” Kili nervously laughs as some of the J-tech crew shows him how to get set up in the mock Jaeger unit.

Fili laughs a little in response, needing no help himself. “Yeah, they are. Hopefully, you’ll get used to it.”

Fili’s voice switches over mid-sentence to the comm link within the helmet.

“Okay Kili, just trust me. Follow my lead and don’t hold onto anything in the drift.”

“I feel like I should start a confessional for all the fucked up things you might see in the drift, so I’m apologizing now.”

Fili laughs again as he speaks in to the mic, pushing in buttons on the HUD of the Jaeger interface, “Activating neural handshake. In 3...2...1…”

Kili gasps as a wall of blue hits his vision and he feels like he may be sick from the spiraling feeling as memories and feeling flood him.

He sees first days of school, Fili fighting bullies, their first martial arts classes, their sleepovers they share as children, Thorin yelling at them.

“You are teenagers! This childhood dependency stops now.”

Fili being sent away for military school. Both sobbing at night, the intense heartache, emptiness.

They feel their first hug in Hong Kong, they hadn’t seen each other in years. A decade spent making up for lost time in their childhood.

Accidental drunken kisses. Fear, shame, they have to hide, if anyone were to know. Their lives would be over. He’d ruin Fili’s life. Fili he loves Fili but he can’t love Fili. Brothers, they are brothers and brothers aren’t like this why is he like this? Why can’t he be better? Fili don’t go-God, ithurtsithurtsmorethananythingwhycanttheyjustbetogetherwhydoesithurtsomuchmakeitstoptheblueisswallowinghimmakeitstopbrotherfilifilifilifilif-

“Kili, let it go! Kili you have to LET GO!”

He surges forward, gasping for air as he makes it onto the other side of the drift. Fili looks concerned at him from behind his helmet.

“Kee, you okay? You made it through. You’ve let it go, now let’s focus on the mission okay?” Fili orders in a reassuring tone as Kili nods catching his breath.

“Yeah, I’m good,” his breath evens out some before he pushes a smile on his face, “Let’s kick some virtual kaiju ass.”

Kili isn’t surprised when they take down the kaiju with relative ease, his mind feeling clear and strong with the guidance of Fili there. It’s reassuring and calming. Like he doesn’t have to think as hard with Fili doing half of the work as well.

Kili however is surprised when the J-tech crew excitedly clap them both on the back.

“You guys just beat the current record of beating Knifehead! With minimal damage at that! It was incredible!”

They both are helped out of the mock Jaeger, the drift ending. Kili searches Fili’s face when he hears a soft rushed voice in the back of his head.

So proud. I love him so much. Kili, I love you.

Fili takes off his helmet not saying anything at first.

“Well then.”

“Well then what?” Fili says softly looking at him.

“I’m going to really, really miss my lab,” Kili sighs holding the helmet under his arm.

Fili couldn’t possibly grin brighter hearing in his own head a soft, I love you too.