#how the crap do you make the 'ability to use magic' not valued? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jeannereames · 2 years ago

Note

Dear Professor, elsewhere you mentioned teaching Miller, Barker and Atwood and I was wondering if you could expand a little on your thoughts on their respective retellings.

QUEERING AND FEMINIZING HOMER: MILLER, BARKER & ATWOOD

For my “Ancient Greece in Modern Historical Fiction” course, I assigned three texts that all dealt with the Homeric poems, in order to examine how ancient myth can be reappropriated for modern audiences. These were Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles, Pat Barker’s The Silence of the Girls, and Margaret Atwood’s The Penelopiad.

There are a lot, and I do mean a lot of retellings of the Iliad or Odyssey. Some, maybe most, do so in a straightforward way, treating the myth like an historical novel. They may try to resituate it in another head, like Helen’s, or Hektor’s, or even Paris’s. But they don’t, otherwise, change much. If anything, they attempt to eliminate the fantastical elements (like gods) and play the story as if it really happened.

Yet the nature of myths makes them different from historical fiction. The latter, for me, has a much higher bar for detail accuracy. A myth begins as fiction, so while I do appreciate various renditions attempting historical accuracy, I don’t see it as essential to a good retelling. And the three novels I chose mostly don’t track in that direction; all retain gods and heroes and at least the patina of the magical.

Part of why I’m less concerned with historical accuracy owes to the fact Homer* wasn’t. It’s hard to have accuracy when the original text was all-over-the-place.

Homer composed a stunning piece of war fiction in terms of its impact on a soldier’s psyche. But it’s crap historical fiction. Let’s just put that out there at the start. Imagine putting Al Capone and 1920s gangsters in Elizabethan England, or maybe, Queen Elizabeth in 1920s Southside Chicago. That’s the time and cultural differential. He’s theoretically writing about events at the tail end of the Bronze Age (c. 1200-1100), but the social structure reflects the Early Iron Age as well as the Late Iron Age, with a few vestiges of the Bronze Age. But accuracy isn’t the *point*, for Homer.

Another point of clarification: the Iliad and Odyssey are about fictional people. There was no Agamemnon, Achilles, Priam, Hektor, or Helen. The Trojan War probably did happen—but not for the reasons or in the way the story relates. It’s a bit like Saving Private Ryan: WW II certainly happened, but Private Ryan is Everyman Lost.

Last, the basic plots of the Iliad and the Odyssey were not invented by Homer. These were well-known epic stories. Homer’s brilliance lay in what he did with them. Ergo, it’s more correct to speak of Homer as the composer of the Iliad and Odyssey, rather than the author/writer.

Therefore, what I’m looking for in modern retellings is what a MODERN author does with the same story. How does she or he use these familiar stories to talk about our present age…which is what Homer did himself, after all.

I’ve talked elsewhere about some issues I have with Miller’s Song of Achilles, but as is probably evident from what I said above, I have absolutely zero problems with her queering the tale. What I find more interesting is how her adaptation of Achilles and Patroklos as lovers speaks to our modern world and modern needs.

Any retelling of the Iliad today will run up against the brick wall of ancient values that were very different—and often rather repugnant—to modern readers. To ancient minds, Achilles was a HERO. Admirable. Worthy of emulation. To modern readers he’s, well, kind of a dick. And a butcher.

I’d submit that Homer meant him to be a jerk, too. Part of Homer’s lasting value is his ability to take a cultural hero and finesse him until he’s maybe not so hero-ish, but still comprehensible in his actions to listeners who had, themselves, experienced combat. Ergo, Homer’s Iliad still has something to say today to Vietnam Vets (as per Jonathan Shay’s brilliant Achilles in Vietnam). But most modern readers are not going to like the guy. He has a terrible temper, throws fits when thwarted, and is repeatedly described as “man-killing” like it’s a compliment.

So, as a modern author with a modern audience, how do you redeem him? (If you redeem him; not all authors choose to.)

Miller turned the Iliad into a love story, told from Patroklos's POV, which makes Achilles more likeable. He's painted by Patroklos’s adoration. In both Miller’s retelling and Homer’s original, Patroklos is depicted as empathic in a way modern readers can get behind, so he’s a good choice of point-of-view character. Yet although he comes off as your basic “nice guy,” in the original he is also a skilled warrior who kills a lot of people. Miller ignores this, making him a healer, not a fighter.

Like her casting of Thetis as bitchy, I have some issues with her decision to avoid dealing with the more brutal parts of Homer’s epic by eliding it. She’s buffed off the ugly rather than confronting it. It winds up feeling like a puff piece, alas, which I don't believe was her intention.

Why it does succeed owes not to the fact it’s a love story, but a queer love story. In antiquity, Achilles was a prince (as was Patroklos): the elite of the elite, the ruling class and conquering heroes. They were, in no way, an oppressed minority. A “subaltern” group.

Yet today, queer people are a subaltern population, although people in the queer community enjoy differing degrees of social acceptance. A black or brown trans woman experiences a great deal more oppression than a white gay guy. Yet public acceptance of queerness in any form is relatively recent, as in, something I’ve seen occur in my lifetime. And of course, now it’s being pushed back against.

So to have heroes who did occupy the ruling class and didn’t have to apologize for who they loved is important. If Achilles is a dick, well, he’s a gay dick (pun intended), and pretty, so we’ll slip him a pass.

Is that wrong? Homer doesn’t have a copyright on Achilles. Or Patroklos. Just as he used Achilles and Hektor and Priam to his own ends, so does Miller. Yet I am bothered by her ducking of the fundamental violence of the Iliad. Homer doesn’t, and it makes his the superior story. (Although topping Homer is rather a high bar.) Grief (and rage) make Achilles into a monster. Empathy redeems him…but it’s not empathy for Patroklos. In fact, his inability to empathize with Patroklos’s own grief gets his friend killed. Homer doesn’t sugar-coat that.

No, it’s empathy for the enemy—for Priam, when Priam evokes the grief Achilles’s own father will feel—that finally gets through to him. It re-humanizes him. He and Priam cry together.

See what Homer did there? That’s why the poem is still read c.2700 years after it was composed. On certain levels, it’s timeless. By contrast, Miller’s rendering is time/situation-dependent. It succeeds now. It wouldn’t have succeeded 50 years ago, if it had even got published, and I’m not sure it’ll be as relevant 50 years in the future. That’s not a condemnation. Sometimes books become important when they’re needed.

Yet, as I have issues with her ducking the story’s inherent violence, I also had issues with her handling of Thetis as one of only two prominent women in the novel. Again, there’s no copyright on Thetis, but in Greek myth, she’s not a cold bitch—in fact, she’s rather the opposite. So, while I think Miller’s queering of the Iliad had positive current social coin, her treatment of Thetis played into negative tropes about women (and mothers) that troubled me.

These are things I invite my students to wrestle with, when we talk about The Song of Achilles.

Btw, I sometimes see Miller grouped with Barker and Haynes and Atwood as “feminist” retellings of the Iliad. In no way is her book a feminist retelling. A queer retelling, but not a feminist one.

Let’s turn then to Barker. The very title of Barker’s book gives us a hint of what she wants to accomplish. The Silence of the Girls recasts the myth as the story of Briseis, Achilles’s war prize. Barker’s is one in a line of attempts to present the Iliad from a woman’s point of view, which goes back at least to Marion Zimmer Bradley’s 1987 Firebrand. Just as June Rachuy Brindel told Ariadne’s story (and Phaedra’s too) from a feminist perspective 40 years before Jennifer Saint (and was nominated for a Pulitzer). Another, more recent approach to this was Natalie Haynes’s A Thousand Ships, published just a year after Barker.

[A point: two books published a year apart do not owe to each other. It takes years to write, then publish a novel. But they may reflect current publishing perceptions of market interest.]

Barker makes a concerted effort to take a feminist look at the myth by centering Briseis as the narrator…but only for the first part. By part two, Achilles elbows his way in. Suddenly, it’s no longer Briseis’s story once she’s carted off to Agamemnon’s tent. It seems that Barker just couldn’t unhook entirely from centering Achilles, even if he’s more anti-hero.

We can consider this several ways. It’s possible that she didn’t want Achilles to be as simplistic as Briseis saw him, and therefore needed to get out of Briseis’s head in order to suggest more nuance. It’s also possible that she really does mean her title, The Silence of the Girls, and so silences the girl narrator when handed off to Agamemnon.

I have problems with both readings. First, the need to cast Achilles as more complex than Briseis wants to read him moves the needle away from the female/feminist perspective. Why should it be necessary to give Achilles depth if it’s Briseis’s story we’re telling? Unless she eventually comes to see depth in him…in which case, show us how she comes to that conclusion.

And if she really wanted to “silence” the girl when she became a slave, silence her THEN, not just when she moves residence. She’s no more a slave under Agamemnon than under Achilles. She might lack Patroklos’s support and semi-understanding, but her basic situation has not changed enough to justify a significant change in narrator.

To me, it just seems that Achilles sucked up all the air in the room, as he’s wont to do. He took over her story because Barker let him. It’s still a male-centric view.

This may have happened because Barker, like Miller, didn’t know enough history of the period to thoroughly reimagine the story she’s telling. In this respect, a little more historical accuracy—if not necessary—may have been helpful. How? By recentering the story not only on the female voice(s), but also on non-Mycenaean/Greek voices. Her opening was incredibly interesting, and could have had much more done with it. Marauding Greeks raze her town and take her captive. She comes from a satellite kingdom of the rich and powerful city of Wilusa (Troy), part of the Arzawa confederacy, itself a sometime-tribute group of the even more powerful Hittite Empire. The Mycenaeans are essentially pirates, hated by Hitties (and their allies?). It might have given Barker a two-pronged way to anchor her narrative more solidly: non-male AND non-Greek.

As noted, attempts at historical situating isn’t required. But Barker’s take ended up bogged down by the original Greek-centric view. She wanted to un-silence the girls, but unfortunately, by my reading, she only continued Achilles’s dominance.

So, I see both Miller’s and Barker’s attempts as not quite succeeding—which is interesting in itself. The books are hardly failures, or they wouldn’t have sold so many copies. And they do, in their own ways, take on Homer to resituate it for our era. But neither can quite get away from the historical value systems that make the Iliad problematic to modern readers.

Then we have Margaret Atwood, who takes us to school.

Folks, The Penelopiad is how you give voice to subaltern populations. For such a short book, it has wonderful layers.

First, this is not set in antiquity. Penelope tells her story from Hades, in the “now,” because she wants to correct Homer’s presentation of her (even though Homer’s presentation is overall rather favorable). The tone is modern and discursive. Some find it annoying, but she chooses it for a reason. While the book is not a comedy (unless black), it’s full of intentional, sarcastic humor.

Thousands of years have passed since the events of the Iliad and Odyssey. Penelope remains in Hades, not choosing to be reborn, unlike most of her contemporaries, including her husband…a nice nod to Plato’s Myth of Er where Odysseus is one of several souls who choose rebirth. I don’t know if Atwood is familiar with the story, but it’s Atwood, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she is. It’s an “Easter Egg” the average reader won’t get. Doesn’t matter. Atwood litters her novel with allusions to Greek myth, drama, and philosophy, as well as modern anthropology and Classics. None of it is necessary to follow her tale, but the more you know, the more you’re going to get from it. And the harder you’ll laugh (she spoofs Robert Graves’ White Goddess).

Most of the narrative is Penelope’s metafiction first-person account, but her chapters are broken up by a “chorus” of Penelope's twelve maids, actual figures from the Odyssey, mostly unnamed. Atwood uses them exactly as a Greek chorus in a traditional tragedy (which is what she’s writing). In Homer, the handmaids were traitorous little sluts, as ancient Greek men tended to see slaves, especially slave women. Atwood does something brilliant with them.

The Penelopiad lets women take over the narrative in a way Barker attempted but didn’t quite manage. If the men, Odysseus and Telemechus, are present, Atwood never lets them have a POV. Only Penelope or her maids narrate, and she sets those in tension. Like Briseis, Penelope is a member of the elite: a princess, then queen, however she presents herself in contrast to Helen. She’s a “poor little rich girl.” The twelve maids are manifestly not.

As the story unfolds, Atwood cleverly reminds us of something deeply embedded in Homer: these characters LIE. Odysseus is a magnificent liar, and Penelope lets us know it. “Bent-minded Odysseus” is the typical way he’s described by Homer, and it’s meant as a compliment. Even today, in Greece, being “clever” is better than being “smart.” Homer’s “bent-minded Penelope” is his match. He draws a sympathetic picture of her as Odysseus’s true partner, even if Odysseus entertains dalliances on the side. Of course, in that world, it was expected. Penelope is loyal, waiting at home…not unlike Penelope waiting in Hades here, never venturing out into new lives.

But we must remember: As Odysseus lies about his exploits and life, Penelope lies, too.

As we begin the book, the temptation for the reader—as Atwood intends—is to take Penelope’s account at face value. We may think we’re reading a novel that upends the narrative, centering female voices at last! But as the book continues, the chorus of maids presents us with a different tale, a different view. Then we reach the end and realize what Atwood has so cleverly done.

She truly decentered the narrative.

She’s not just telling Penelope’s story. She’s also telling what happened to the slave women, the twelve maids, who were hanged by Odysseus and Telemachus—in the original epic because they betrayed their mistress/Ithaca by consorting with the suitors. Here, Penelope, who’s just trying to survive, asks them to consort with the suitors to gain intelligence, and some are raped as a result. In the end, they’re executed along with their “lovers.” And Penelope didn’t step in to save them.

They’re expendable.

This is not just a Greek tragedy, but a horror story. Atwood reminds us that although Penelope may be less powerful than her husband, the King of Ithica, she is NOT truly disempowered. She is only half-subaltern. The maids, who are both women and slaves, are the truly disenfranchised. All they have in the world are their looks, and the protection of their mistress…which she doesn’t give.

So, they die.

Most people reading the Odyssey never think about the hanged maids—whether it was a just punishment. It happens in the background; they’re traitors like the suitors. But after reading Atwood, you’ll never read that poem again and overlook them.

Atwood’s novel is not romantic, not poetic, not inclined to have readers read and re-read it to get lost in the romance all over again (as with Miller’s). It’s deeply disturbing. And it’s meant to be.

Of these three novels, this is the one that will still be read, and resonate, fifty years down the road. This is the retelling of Homer that actually manages to unseat the accepted narrative and makes us re-examine the story from the real flip-side.

This one actually “unsilences” the (twelve) girls.

-------------------------

*I’m not going to touch the question of whether there was a “Homer,” and if so, was it one or two people, a he or a she, etc. There is a veritable tsunami of writing about who “Homer” may have been and the composition of these poems. Just be aware.

216 notes · View notes

severusish · 3 years ago

Text

Snape Asks response 1

I received a question from @utterlybyrone, regarding @bloatsome’s Snape Ask list. And I shall answer it!

The ask from Anon was: “I have so many Snape Asks I'd like to see you answer, but let's start with those: 10., 17., 50.”

So let’s do this. (just in case, T/W: mentions of ab*se, b*llying, tr*uma, t*rture).

10. Do you think Snape’s character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Yes. Maybe not changed, but contributed to the way I think. Why? In my view Severus can teach us that a little kindness and good listening from others (and from you), as well as remorse and forgiveness, can go a really long way when it comes to making you a better person and keeping you from going down a dark path in life. Snape’s character inspired me to read books such as On Being Nice, and You’re Not Listening, and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read. There are a lot of lessons on the consequences of tr*uma and b*llying that Snape’s character can teach readers. I know that Snaters tend to say “okay but what about poisoning Trevor the Toad,” and “what about his treatment of Neville,” and also “ew why was he so obsessed with Lily,” and “why did he choose Lily over Harry and James.” But if you look past those arguments and you just analyse what happened to Severus as a character, you start to see the extent to which his upbringing and life in general were just sh*t. I mean to start off, he grew up in an almost loveless household (Eileen clearly cared for him but couldn’t do so as freely as she would have liked) with a definitely not very nice father, and a mother who was also a v*ctim in that regard. And sadly, that is the case for so many people in the world, which is heartbreaking in itself, because a lot of what is in Snape’s upbringing is the reality for many people. It’s terrible. But to make things even worse, when Snape finally went to a place where he was special and his magic (i.e. skills and abilities) had value in the community, he ended up getting chased around by a bunch of b*llies and made fun of for his looks, and physically hurt, and called names, etc. His complex and difficult past and his feeling of being an outcast made him make even worse choices in the end (i.e. joining the Death Eaters out of spite and desperation). And teenagers say terrible things when they’re humiliated or hurt, which explains why he called Lily that word (it doesn’t justify it, but it explains it). I think his character mainly just taught me that you never know what kind of crap someone is dealing with in their life, and that you should treat them with understanding as far as it’s possible (and within reason). Because in the end it could change their life. I think also it made me focus even harder on how I interact with shy/timid/socially anxious people (because Snape gives me very much ‘I don’t like social situations’ vibes). I think it’s important to help people feel safe around you. I think Snape didn’t have much of that in his life; instead he had a lot of betrayal and got teased for finding social situations difficult. Also, Snape shows, at least for me, how loyalty (as long as it’s not obsession) is a really powerful trait in life, and it makes people trust you more. Sticking to your commitments is important in life and it’s really hard to find truly loyal people these days, who you can count on to be there for you, who don’t ghost you and aren’t flakes. People with attention spans whose eyes don’t glaze over when they should be listening to you. I think Snape taught me to look for ‘commitment' as a trait in other people. Those are my thoughts.

17. Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Absolutely. If we consider that Severus’s motivations were misplaced (he thought he’d have power by joining and instead he got pain on so many levels), and that the driving emotions he was experiencing at the time of initiation were hurt, humiliation, anger and desperation, then we can assume that the ride was rocky from the start.

When he joined, he was looking for somewhere where he would have a circle of people like him, but in the end, he wasn’t like the DEs at all. He wasn’t a Pureblood fanatic or Pureblood agenda sympathizer, he was on the side of Muggleborns since the moment he met Lily and realized not all Muggleborns were like his father. But as a Halfblood, he didn’t belong with the Death Eaters. He probably lived in fear that someone he didn’t want ‘in the know’ would find out his blood status. I doubt that he ever felt secure in his position of favor with Lord Moldy-Shorts, either.

Also, can we address Occlumency? I would think that the guy would be blocking out any emotion, almost constantly, after joining the DEs. If you’re hanging out with people like Bella Lestrange and Pettigrew on a daily basis, you’d need to block out some stuff. But he’d realistically have to compartmentalize, either way. He’d lock ‘happy’ emotions in one box, safely away, for review at a later date. Any pain or nightmares or horrible experiences would go in another box. His mind would have to be constantly blank or filled with well-placed fake memories.

Plus, I’m guessing nothing much was happening in his life that could be called “happy,” except when he became Draco’s godfather.

Oh yeah, and the whole Betraying The Potters thing would probably have rained on his parade. We all know he was miserable after that. The guilt from that event alone, even if it was Pettigrew who betrayed their location to Voldy, stayed with Snape for the rest of his life.

The DEs started out as his way to ‘get back at’ all the people who had done him wrong. They were also his shelter and refuge for a bit, or at least the Malfoys were. But it didn’t take long for his time at the DEs to go from a fleeting power trip to a really nightmarish existence. I don’t think he was happy, no.

50. Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

Mmmmm this is tricky. Yes and no.

Look at it this way: for the better part of a year, the guy was playing dress up as a Death Eater while also being Headmaster of a school (appointed illegitimately to the role by the leader of a t*rrorist club). In order not to blow his cover, he had to facilitate, or at least turn a blind eye to, the t*rture and punishment of his own students that he’d spent so many years protecting and teaching.

Plus, Severus had to deal with the looks of betrayal from McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Vector, and Pomfrey (and more) on a daily basis - people who, even if he wouldn’t necessarily call them friends, were at least civil with him in the past. And if he went back he’d doubt that any of them would ever really trust him again, even with his hero status and Order of Merlin - if we assume he’d get one if he lived.

So overall Hogwarts was the site where he got b*llied as a student, then it became the environment where he repeatedly was denied the position of DADA teacher and the place where he had to keep students from exploding themselves along with their cauldrons, then it became the place where he basically had to just let his students get hurt by DEs. (And sending students to Hagrid wasn’t enough. He should have done more. What he did was really bad.)

He wouldn’t go back to Hogwarts of his own volition, no. He’d feel completely wracked with guilt and unworthy to teach there after what he allowed to happen on his watch, Spy Cover or no Spy Cover. I think he’d only go back to teach if Hogwarts staff and students made it clear he was welcome. Even then, I doubt he’d accept. More likely he’d set up an apothecary or start a private apprenticeship or potions business.

That being said, Hogwarts tends to feel like home for everyone who went there. Maybe if he felt nostalgic enough, or had someone at Hogwarts waiting for him who made it worth it, he might go back. But otherwise I think his feelings of guilt and sense of honesty and honor would compel Severus to stay away.

Thank you to @utterlybyrone for the questions! Byeee! :)

#snape asks #snapedom #pro snape #snape defender #snape questions #who is snape #severus snape #snape's story #snape ask #feel free to send me more of these!#snape opinion #snotp questions #UMMM @BLOATSOME THESE QUESTiONS ARE SOOO GOOOD #I -

12 notes · View notes

hopeymchope · 3 years ago

Note

I don't know how well you know Dungeons and Dragons (if at all), but if you can answer this, what races and classes would each character in THH pick for their characters in a given game?

Do I know anything about Dungeons & Dragons? ... Aside from the classic Alignment Chart, no. I don't know much of anything about it.

Or at least I didn’t know much about it. Because: Will I do a bunch of unnecessary research into the current version of D&D just so I can try to answer this question? YES OF COURSE.

So I dove into the various classes available and the various races that are playable (including current expansions), read the official descriptions for them all, verified which race/class combos were allowed, and finally came up with a list. Obviously, I don't have the depth of knowledge that a legit D&D player might have, but based on just the base descriptions available in the official materials, here's what I came up with.

Makoto Naegi – Human, Paladin. It makes sense that Naegi would go for the most commonly played race in the whole game. You might think he’d go for the most common type of class, too, but nah — his passionate sense of justice lures him towards being a Pally.

Kyoko Kirigiri – Half-Elf, Artificer. Artificers are the class that most values knowledge and intelligence, making them easy for Kiri to respect. And the Half-Elf is a being of two worlds who is said to be curious, inventive, and ambitious. Those traits are certainly present in Kiri.

Celestia Ludenberg – Elf, Rogue. We know Celes loves the physical appeal of thin, pale, otherworldly figures, and we also know that she’s hardcore into playing games of deceit. Ergo, this is perfect.

Aoi Asahina – Gnome, Ranger. I think the gnomes’ joyous embrace of life and all its pleasures would really grab the cheerful Hina. Plus she’d like how cute they are. Obviously, we’ve seen her bond with a fellow athlete quickly in RL, so for her class, I think she’d be drawn to a physical type — one better known for dexterity than raw strength. That brings it down to Monk or Ranger, and I think Ranger allows her to be less self-serious than the focused studies of a Monk.

Toko Fukawa – Tiefling, Bard. The bard is a primarily a storyteller, after all. It fits with her talent, and besides, it’s not like she’s inclined towards direct violence. The Tiefling is what fits with her personality. The constant abuse and suspicion that the Tieflings receive really reflect how Toko feels in her daily life.

Genocide(r) Jack/Syo – Half-Orc, Rogue. If Jack/Syo is in charge during the selection process, a Half-Orc who feels that inexorable pull towards her inner bloodlust is natural. I waffled on whether to go straightforward Fighter or Rogue, but I think the Rogue’s sneakier aspects and tendency towards smaller blades has to speak more to Jack/Syo.

Chihiro Fujisaki – Halfing, Fighter. A combination of what Fujisaki would clearly relate to (the small, peace-loving halfing) and what Fujisaki most wants to be (strong in both body and mind) resulted in this unlikely pairing. I think the evident dichotomy between class and race also hspeaks to

Sakura Ogami – Leonin, Monk. As the Ultimate Martial Artist who is constantly training to be the best, she’d see herself reflected the Monk that constantly strives for physical and spiritual perfection. But what wins out when she picks a race – her noble warrior side or her girly side that loves cute things? I found myself waffling between the noble, physically imposing Leonin and the adorable Gnome. But ultimately, her combatant side has to win out, because she’s prone to hiding her girlier side.

Mondo Owada – Dragonborn, Barbarian. Dragonborn are loyal to their clan above all else, which is something Mondo can get into. Barbarians value strength, obviously, but they also have the ability to explode into a powerful rage. Mondo might not even be aware of why that speaks to him…

Kiyotaka Ishimaru – Dragonborn, Wizard. I think Taka would feel lost and perplexed when faced with a choice of what race to take, so when Mondo takes “Dragonborn” because he thinks it’s rad, Taka is just inclined to stick close to his bro. Then he chooses Wizard because it’s said to be the most scholarly of the various classes, and he wants to make sure he’s taking his studies seriously in every possible version of his life.

Mukuro Ikusaba – Leonin, Fighter. Leonin are mostly concerned with their own race and are nomadic. They’re a proud race of warriors and tend to keep to themselves. Mukuro has lived a similarity nomadic life, and the one person she usually lets close is her sister. Besides, mythical beasts like a Leonin sort of fit with the iconography of Fenrir. And then the Fighter class is… just obvious.

Junko Enoshima – Elf (Drow), Warlock. I think it’s extremely Junko to choose the most beautiful and noble of races and then pick the most chaotic/psychotic possible sub-race within it. The Drow are a group of subterranean elves who murder and enslave however they see fit, typically killing entire families if even one member stands in their way. Perhaps she’d try to disguise herself as a Wood Elf for most of the game, only to reveal her true nature once they’re deep into play. Furthermore, I can see her choosing a Warlock that has sold their soul to a demon or a dark god in exchange for power because of how incredibly despairing that sounds.

Hifumi Yamada – Dwarf, Bard. Given his own stature AND how much pride Hifumi takes in his “craft,” I think he’d identify with the skilled craftspeople who are stout in build. Hey, he already has shown a preference for characters with a similar build to his own body if you take his love for Princess Piggles into account. I doubt Toko would appreciate him sharing a class with her, but he’s even more overtly proud of being a storyteller than she is, so it’s a natural choice.

Leon Kuwata – Human, Ranger. With an eye for speed and precision, I picture Leon being drawn to the Ranger class. I also see him finding most of the fantasy races too weird/goofy and preferring to go Human, which actually fits nicely given that Humans in D&D are known for their ambition. Leon is definitely big on that.

Byakuya Togami – Refuses to play because it seems so foolish and frivolous, of course. But if he somehow is sweet-talked into it: Elf, Sorcerer. The Elf is a being of otherworldly grace with a larger perspective on world events that other races can’t gasp. The Sorcerer is a character with a magical birthright thanks to their powerful bloodline. Everything about this speaks to how he sees himself.

Yasuhiro Hagakure – Satyr, Druid. Satyrs are gregarious and just want to enjoy life’s pleasures, which sure sounds like our boy. But a Satyr Druid? The way I see it, Hiro will be put off by the typical magic-wielding classes, which’ll mostly make him think of his hatred of the occult. But the Druid derives all his power from nature, so Hiro will somehow figure that’s totally ok in the same way that his own weird powers somehow aren’t occult to him.

Sayaka Maizono — Half-Elf, Bard. OH CRAP I ALMOST FORGOT SAYAKA. I think the push and pull of the two worlds that Half-Elves feel, which often leave them feeling like they belong to neither one, is something that Sayaka would find understandable given the pull of her industry vs her desire to live a more “normal” life. And the Bard thing isn’t just because it’s typically a musical role — it’s also because of Maizono’s desire to be someone’s sidekick/supporting role and step out of the spotlight.

..........and there it all is! Sorry that this took so long to reply to, but as you can see, I’m a wordy bitch. I wound up with quite the variety across the cast, actually. I used almost every class and almost every race (no Clerics and no pure Orcs, but that’s all that got ignored).

Now, the typical D&D party is recommended to consist of 4-5 players, so this is obviously waaaaaay too many characters for a single session to contain. But if I were to pick the 4 or 5 people I think would most easily get drawn into a single D&D game? I’d think it’d be Hifumi, Makoto, Celestia, Chihiro, and Hiro.

#dr1 spoilers #danganronpa #asks #d&d #dnd #dungeons & dragons #danganronpa x d&d

15 notes · View notes

thecottageinthedark · 4 years ago

Text

Sorting Glass-Maker’s Dragon

I’ve been working on this for a looooong time, and finally it’s complete enough to post. I’m using the Sorting Hat Chats system, basics of which are explained here by its inventors and here by @wisteria-lodge.

A lot of GMD is flexpoints and inferred stuff, but this is, at least, the way I read the main eight.

Chuubo: Snake Primary, Badger Secondary. His Snake ambition isn't immediately obvious because it's backwards to us; he's an Imperator and a god of dream and probably the Spirit of the Age, but those were just things that happened upon him. He doesn't want fame or fortune; he wants a peaceful human life, or at least a human-style one, and his drive to achieve this has literally reshaped the world itself while still being, at its core, all about him.

His Badger Secondary is hard to see because of the one big gimmick in the way; the Wish-Granting Engine, that supposedly allows instant results with no work, and the way he uses it whenever possible. But the thing is, the WGE is both dependent on his Secondary and in some senses what he uses when he can't draw on that Secondary itself.

Badger Secondaries have to mean what they do; they put in hard work when and where they are motivated to do so. For Chuubo, that's not schoolwork, which is where he as a high schooler is socially expected to, and so he gets a rep for being lazy. Where he does put the effort in, is with his friendships, and in 'learning the ways of Fortitude'. With those, he doesn't cut corners. He doesn't pull out schemes. He patiently and consistently puts in the work. His Secondary is on full display in the way he persists in trying to be friends with Leo, even in the face of Leo's hostility. Chuubo doesn't try to win Leo over with subtlety or with grand gestures; he just doggedly carries on offering support, company, and good-natured teasing.

So where does the Engine come in? Think of the Wishing Map. It's the friendships and connections he's worked at creating and maintaining that help Chuubo's wishes to succeed. Wishes based on whim are almost certain to go wrong.

The wish for a best friend is maybe the most telling part of all. Or rather, what happened after it. Because despite having acquired Seizhi through unnatural means, it never once occurs to Chuubo to continue their association by those-to lean on miraculous or mundane coercion and create a relationship that all goes one way. Having acquired someone to love him, he just proceeds to love them back, with a generosity of spirit that is entirely genuine.

Like a lot of Snake Primaries, Chuubo has a Primary model that he uses to fill in the gaps where his ambitions and his loyalties aren't relevant. His is a kindly and expansive Badger Primary. He lives in this model most of the time-until there's a threat to his inner circle or to his hard-won quiet life. Then he'll set the model aside and act from his real Primary to keep hold of what's his. (Being a snake sometimes helps.)

Seizhi Schwan: Snake Primary, Burnt Snake Secondary. Like Chuubo, their huge ambition is for something that most people just get handed on a platter; to be real, to matter, and to be loved. Their Primary and his instinctively understand each other about this-and also understand each other perfectly about the importance of treasuring and being treasured. (They're all but making big eyes at each other and swooning, in fact.)

Seizhi's Primary is somewhat wobbly in one regard; they're the sort of Snake who has kicked themself out of their own inner circle. After all, they reason, they're not real-not yet, at least-so why should they value themself? There's nothing there to value. This is linked to the burning of their Secondary; their supreme and miraculously-enhanced ability to fit into any social context is something that gives them pain, because it's just more unreality. Over and over they reach out, hoping that this time they've found a destiny; over and over, they stop sustaining an Intention, and the whole thing fades away. Even mundane uses of the Snake Secondary toolkit feel tainted-deceit and lies-and that's a problem, because this is the best and most practiced skillset they've got. They're trying to cover up this lack with a Badger Secondary model, because that's what they feel like they should have, what a Real Person would have-the slow grinding authenticity of method. (Possibly this decision is linked to Chuubo being a Badger Secondary.) But they don't like it. It feels like crap. It doesn't even work that well. And when they're in trouble, they drop the attempt to Do Things The Real Way and start shifting and adapting and reacting like the Snake they are.

As of the start of GMD they're still hoping for the magic to happen, to wake up transformed into a Real Person who bears little to no resemblance to the 'fake self' they despise-for the Badger model to smother the Snake to death. The situation's in flux. Under pressure, they might begin to find ways to accept themself for what they are, and realise they are loved already; but it's just as likely that they will crack and fall into despair. If that happens, they'll probably Burn their Primary too, cutting themself off from Chuubo and from anyone else in their inner circle. This they'll frame not as a way to protect themself, but to protect the inner circle. A fake person has nothing real to give. How can they inflict such a horrible creature on the people they love? Might as well feed them fairy food and watch them starve, as do something like that.

That unpleasant possibility aside...unlike Chuubo they haven't yet created a Primary Model when the game starts. They might do so during the course of it, though-they will, after all, need to make a lot of decisions, and they won't always be able to relate those back to 'will it help me become real' or 'will it help Chuubo'. I don't think they're likely to copy Chuubo's Badger for this; it fits him fine, as an inherently peaceful Serpent, but Seizhi is an Actual who has had to fight just to exist, and isn't prepared to lay down arms just because things are now somewhat better. What'd work better for them would be a valorous and fierce Lion Model based on that of their brother Laodemus, or a wider Snake Model with an inner circle encompassing 'everyone I know' or 'the whole of Town'.

Leonardo de Montreal: Lion Primary, Lion Secondary. This poor man.

Oh, he'd love you to believe he's a Double Bird, or a Snake/Bird mix of some kind. He'd probably pick one of those Houses out if he had the choice! But that's...actually for pretty superficial reasons. He likes science so he figures he's a shoo-in for the 'smart person house', he's snappy and standoffish so equally he thinks he's in the 'mean asshole house'. But in the SHC system neither of those really fit.

Let's look at his Primary first. He's not a Snake, right away-because he doesn't have an inner circle and he's okay with that. There's no 'my people, who are most important' and 'everyone else'-even when he's not leaning on his Friendless wound, when he's prepared to concede that he cares about Chuubo or Jasper. If he were a Snake, those two would be the most likely inner circle candidates-but they're not in there. Not because he doesn't care, but because he doesn't do the Snake style caring where his people are the centre of his world and the place he gets his morality.

Where his morality does come from is the Song of Hell, his 'love for the wicked'. It's intuitive, not constructed, and centred in himself, not reliant on others. (When he loses his heart, he doesn't draw up a systematic list of ethical principles to live by instead; he creates the Mechanism of Original Sin, which emulates the feeling of having an internal conscience as well as the function.) And the fact that he's a fallen angel means that at some point in his past he gave up Heaven on ideological grounds. The Song of Hell is just right, and therefore he follows it. Any justifications he makes for that decision come after the fact. And so he follows his Song, and becomes heroic-it's not just Jasper he saves, he's got a whole Thing about helping people. That's Lion Primary.

And though he's smart, he doesn't act Bird under pressure; he charges. He responded to Jade's death by first ripping out his own heart to save her daughter, then marching down to the BA to throw down with its Headmaster. He probably has a Bird Secondary model to help with Science, though-and he uses this model to back up his real secondary. Charge in throwing nightmare devices at the problem.

Natalia Koutolika: Bird primary, burnt secondary that's probably Bird or Lion.

Natalia's frozen heart sounds like a Petrified Snake thing, but it's not any specific person that makes her realise thawing is a possibility-it's Fortitude. And that's not because Fortitude is nice, the way a Badger might un-Burn on being accepted into a welcoming community, but because it's magical. The rules of the universe work differently here...so maybe that means things can be possible for her now that weren't possible back on Earth.

I thought at first her primary was burnt, but...freezing her heart made her lose faith in human goodness, and in her capacity for being happy, not in her ability to discern truth. She trusts her cynical System; actually, I think her looking like a Petrified Snake is down to that thing Birds do where their systems often come out looking like the other Primaries. Natalia has decided that the Petrified Snake morality is the true one...but when she arrives in Town, she reconsiders, and begins to edit.

Her Secondary is where she's burnt. Because part of the cynicism of her Primary System is the idea that there's no point trying. Use whatever methods are available, who cares? They won't work, because you can't do anything that matters-the world doesn't work like that. Most of the time she'll use Bird or Lion methods because those come easily to her, given she's a genius and a martial artist, so it's probably one of those. But then again...she doesn't seem to get any joy from them. I think her Arcs will (hopefully) involve healing the burning-and that could look like learning to trust in her charging or her knowledge base, or like finding that what she really feels Right about is putting in the work like a Badger or thinking on her feet like a Snake. (Burnt Badger secondary would be especially poignant, as it'd be her learning to rely on community as a source of strength.)

Jasper Irinka: Bird primary, Bird secondary.

She starts out with her system based on her mom's Heaven-style Lion primary; it doesn't work, and leaves 'a hole in the world' for her. So she starts looking for ways to make it work by picking up ideas from all sorts of people-her dad, her friends, the Moon Prince and assorted other NPCs-and either adjusting it by adding these in or making a new system entirely. And her matching secondary helps her to do this very effectively. Her Primordial ability to shape herself as she likes by growing limbs that she can then use and discard as she pleases is really Bird Secondary-and the fact that those limbs manifest from other people's Hopes? 'I know a guy' Bird.

Sure, she inspires people. But it’s not a Lion inspiration-being so completely and ferociously her own glorious self that others are attracted to her radiance. Jade probably worked like that, from what we know of her, but Jasper inspires because she deliberately does things to inspire Hope in people, using a toolkit of stuff she’s picked up.

(And of course Leo is fascinated with her-not just because she's 'Jade Irinka's daughter', the shine on that would wear off fast-it's that she's a Double Bird like what he wants to be! And she in turn is loving Leo's double Lion because that's what she thinks she's supposed to be like!)

Rinley Yatskaya: Badger Primary, Lion Secondary. Of course the Storyteller Arc kid gets the 'protagonist sorting'.

Rinley's stated purpose in their playbook is to be the social glue of the party, and their powerset makes them really good at it. They first save then make friends with Prince Eduard despite their family's feud with the Rats, and when they see Iolithae in the Titov shrine, they go to rescue her, because Eduard and Iolithae are people and that matters more than Eduard being a Rat or Iolithae being a dangerous sacred horror. In other words, they're a beautiful Universal Badger. As far as Rinley's concerned, you don't just see someone who's injured or imprisoned and then not help them, even if they're meant to be an enemy on ideological grounds or even grounds of prudence. And to help people, they jump right in and Do Something. That's textbook Badger/Lion.

Principal Entropy II: Exploded Badger primary, Badger secondary.

This guy is just community-building and caretaking all over the place. He shows up, he does the work-as the Angel of Fortitude he's literally fixing potholes and curing peoples' ailments! And he's doing that by going to the people and creatures of his Gardens, calling in favours.

And he's doing it because people are important. The denizens of the Evil Island, the people of Fortitude. 'All things can earn their recompense through love'.

The problem is, though-he's doing the dehumanisation thing that Badgers are so infamous for. He's not going 'some people are Enemies Who Must Die, and therefore are not really People', though, which is the usual form of the trope in fiction. That's the mode of a Badger at war, and E2 isn't fighting a war. He's going 'some people need to be Sacrificed for the Greater Good of the Community'. And that's not an easy thing for a Badger to believe. If he was an Idealist, or Snake who is comfy prioritising an inner circle, he could just hold that belief without problems. But being a Badger, he can't. If he sacrifices people, he has to either feel horribly guilty about it...or stop thinking of them as people.

One big group he tends to dehumanise are School students. School exists to create tools to fix the world. It's okay if he makes students into cursed Hall Monitors, it's okay if he turns SEED students into prototype world-trees and weirding walls. That's what they're for.

He also dehumanises himself. He's Other Than Human, Set Apart. He refuses to acknowledge his needs, and overworks himself-he's even, at game start, nullified two Divine Health Levels to make his Code Novae binding on the Evil Island, meaning that if you can get past his Immortality power he's actually the squishiest PC of the lot. So he's an Exploded Badger, sacrificing both himself and others to his community.

Miramie Mesmer: Bird Primary, Badger Secondary. She shares this sorting with her former self, Melanie Malakh.

Melanie's Bird Primary used the Bleak Methodology as her truth system. Coupled with her persistent, hard-working Secondary, this combination made her a star student at the Bleak Academy-a 'prodigy of hatred and despair'. However, when she left the Academy, things fell apart for her.

At the Bleak Academy she'd been sheltered from experiences or ideas that could provide any real challenge to the Bleak worldview. Because of that, her system wasn't as robust as she thought-and she didn't know how to shore it up or how to cope if it shattered. Which-along with the glass dragon-it did; her time in Town, the things she had seen and done, had led her to doubt the truth of ultimate futility. The last straw was the dragon itself. Melanie, through the work of her hands and mind, had created something that was not futile; a master-weapon that could destroy Town, just as she had intended. The very fact that she was able to do that gave the lie to the Bleak Methodology. Unable to deny this truth but just as unable to live with it, Melanie Fell so hard that-as Strategists sometimes do-she lost her identity and became a new person.

Unable and unwilling to use Melanie's system, Miramie has begun to construct her own, drawing on various sources-the communal and peaceful mores of Fortitude, Hideo Hayashi's belief that even unlikeable misfits do not deserve to be left alone without support systems, the other Archive kids' idea that outcasts should stick together, and Chuubo's Snake prioritising of personal ambitions and loves. Since she's not had much time to do this, it's nowhere near finished-but it looks likely to be robust. It also seems to me that she's likely to be able to edit it as she needs rather than Falling-or, if worst comes to worst, to Fall but get back up as herself, rather than shattering again or reverting into Melanie Malakh.

Her Badger Secondary is a contrast to Chuubo's, as where his is socially based and linked to personal relationships (Courtier Badger), hers is more focused on the more usual definition of 'work', and on community in the sense of history and tradition (Bookkeeper Badger). It's her Secondary she brings to bear on the tasks of setting up a cafe from scratch and helping maintain the Archives. It's also what she uses to keep herself going under the weight of the world's wrongness, to keep making art even though it's doing so that activates her Curse. She just keeps slogging away.

I can also see the Badger Secondary in Melanie's construction of the glass dragon. She sat herself down with Hideo Hayashi and learnt glasswork from scratch, putting in the time and effort to both master this new skill and to bring Hideo himself fully under her control. Simple, honest work, even though used for deeply destructive ends.

IN CONCLUSION:

Chuubo: Snake primary, Badger secondary, Badger primary model Seizhi: Snake primary, Burnt Snake secondary, unhealthy Badger Secondary model Leonardo: Lion primary, Lion secondary. Bird secondary model Natalia: Bird primary (with a system that starts out looking a lot like Petrified Snake), very burnt Secondary that is likely Bird or Lion Jasper: Bird primary, Bird secondary Rinley: Badger primary, Lion secondary Entropy II: Exploded Badger primary, Badger secondary Miramie: Bird primary, Badger secondary

#sorting hat chats #glass-maker's dragon #cmwge #gluubilis #gmd #harry potter #gmd pcs

19 notes · View notes

terramythos · 4 years ago

Text

I beat Prey yesterday! here are the general thoughts i scribbled down.

i thought the opening was super strong. When you break the glass on the apartment window? *chef's kiss*

i’ve never played system shock 2 but understand this is heavily influenced by it. I've played Bioshock though so I did pick up on some of the similarities by proxy.

generally I liked combat. In the first half it's pretty tense and survival horror-y and there's certainly a difficulty curve. I liked using limited resources and thinking up creative solutions to problems.

However, most stuff became trivial halfway through. The shotgun is just busted after a couple upgrades. Once you know a surefire way to deal with each enemy type, the game gets pretty easy. from what I understand the difficulty settings do not affect this much (I played on normal). You can make the game more tedious, but not necessarily harder.

i wish there were more horror elements in the mid to late game. There are some genuinely great jump scares early on but they're basically gone past a certain point.

main quest in general was a treadmill of “go to point a, do x thing, oh no something stopped you from doing x thing, you need to go to point y and do b thing so you can go back and do x thing”. kind of disappointing; it mostly served as a way to get around and find more interesting stuff (with a few exceptions). i liked the side quests more.

the voice acting was great. In particular, Benedict Wong's performance as Alex stuck out to me.

the visual and world design was fantastic, too. I think its impressive that Talos I had a unifying design but each area still felt distinct.

visually the Looking Glass stuff was super cool. I think that Arkane developed this with the time travel Dishonored 2 mission and it was cool there too.

there's an impressive amount of extra flavor. All of the art, audio logs, emails, books, and even the ability to explore a bit in space. Just cool details that helped make it all feel real and believable. It adds a lot.

i wanted neuromods to be more like the plasmids in bioshock. While they are the same thing story-wise, in game they function as a talent tree. And some just don’t make sense. Like... how would jamming 4 neuromods in my eye make me physically better at lifting stuff? Why is it an incremental skill I have to invest in 3 times? This makes a little more sense with the Typhon powers since those are basically magic, but not the Human ones.

the ending and some of the mid story is clearly rushed, although I'm glad there's more stuff after the credits.

despite the underwhelming endings (pre credits) I do think the developers put an impressive amount of thought into the circumstances various playthroughs would have surrounding them. I looked it up and there's a boggling number of variations on what's basically two endings.

startlingly few bugs! Just some clipping stuff for me, mostly.

there were some cool small details. I like that if you go someplace before the main story officially tells you to, January will act surprised that you knew ahead of time to go there for the next step. This only happened to me once (on accident), but I imagine it's fun for replays.

SPOILER THOUGHTS BELOW THE CUT

LOVE the meta commentary on identity and autonomy in video games. Morgan is a little different between each reset in the early simulation, even though theoretically that shouldn't be possible. Characters constantly compare you to the Morgan they knew, whatever that means to them. Morgan the player character is a silent protagonist. Morgan the narrative character has several audio and video logs from their past and multiple robots with their voice. More broadly, each player will play a video game differently, even if they make similar choices. So is any playable character the same person between playthroughs? Is the player character narratively that person, or are they simply a vehicle that reflects what the player wants? It's no "would you kindly" but it's still interesting.

in theory i like the Nightmare. kind of a pyramid head type thing but more random. however there’s little incentive to defeat it and it’s easy to avoid, so it turned into a “wait for a 3 min timer to count down” simulator. also, if you accidentally spawn it in certain areas it can WRECK your ending (though it’s easy to reload).

so the Big Twist hints were pretty heavy handed. I figured it out early. It occurred to me after the first level that if the tutorial was a simulation, anything could be, and that was basically the big twisterino. Stuff like January saying "well good thing you're not an alien" in a super ironic tone of voice made me laugh out loud. Also, I did the Obvious Bad Ending for shits and giggles and it spoiled the whole thing. Really wish it had just cut to black since you can access it early. This potentially ruins any shock value for a lot of people.

on some level I like that the ending explains away certain "plot holes". Probably the most obvious is Morgan not remembering any of their past, which is... not how the neuromod memory loss works. But of course they wouldn't remember it, because the player is a Typhon going through a simulation, not the real Morgan.

you can also view the ending from the perspective of humans desperately trying to convince an alien they're worth saving, despite some "bad actors" (read: war crimes in space). Hence the sometimes on-the-nose moral choices and optional side quests. Even the fact that Morgan and Alex are characterized as total assholes in the past-- yet Alex in game and post credits is gentle and compassionate. Perhaps Alex in real life is trying to atone for his mistakes?

i kept expecting mirrors to be relevant? The Phantoms whisper about "what you see in the mirror", promo material shows Morgan looking at themself in the mirror, the Looking Glass tech, and the fact that mirrors are all over the place and DO NOT actually reflect Morgan. Which isn't a technical limitation since the Looking Glass is a whole thing. There's the whole mirror neuron thing but that's such a tiny line of dialogue I'm not sure it matters. Have to wonder if this was a story concept that got cut.

in a similar vein to "crap Phantoms say", there's a minor human character who just... says a bunch of Phantom lines in a row once you complete a quest. He’s seemingly unaware that he's echoing them. What was the purpose of this? Was this an abandoned plot thread?

why wasn't Dahl a bigger part of the story? or Alex and Morgan's parents? I assume it's due to a time crunch, but it just feels like a missed opportunity.

small detail: I love that one of the main story quests has you fake someone's voice using audio logs, and someone MUCH later uses the same trick against you.

another small detail which I missed: flying out to the space billboard to get an early horror twist about the fucking escape pods. there are lots of little things like that all over the place.

9 notes · View notes

the-headbop-wraith · 4 years ago

Text

3 _ 47 A Goodbye Letter

Kingsman Mechanics didn’t usually pick out supplies with smaller distributors, but occasionally Arthur would roll around to collect some of the less essential equipment which had a habit of wearing out. Sometimes it was worth it to spurge a buck if the use was versatile enough, while other equipment had components that wore out regularly and it required periodic maintenance. Other assets he did like to snag spur of the moment, typically for his personal work such as on his arm, or when he needed inspiration for new gear that was hitting the market.

It was always such an outlet to head out of town and browse the techno shop, supplied with quality parts and computer components for modest prices. One division of the shop displayed aisles of industrial shelving, with test gadgets up top for casual shoppers. Other portions of the store dedicated inventory to domestic living, or industrial distribution. It was likewise one of the nearest shops that carried valued craft supplies for largescale modeling, such as welding and do-it-yourself engineering. For Arthur’s needs, he was aiming for some new soldering parts to boost the efficiency in a refurbished arm.

There were advantages to a custom made mechanical arm. Dealing with corroded bolts and nuts or working with a stubborn, over twisted bolt was not the issue it used to be. However, it wasn’t a real arm, some of the angles he used to twist into for reaching sections of a car was now troublesome, and his false arm had limits different to a limb of flesh and blood. The circuits and servos didn’t mend on their own over time, if something inside the arm ceased altogether the whole arm crapped out. He couldn’t call for ten and give the arm a chance to heal, anything that needed fixing Arthur did so in his spare time. To avoid those complications, rotors and gears required maintenance; the harder the work, the more frequent the checkups. Circuits burnt out due to overuse – sometimes it overheated – wiring frayed of came loose from the excessive movement and prolonged abuse.

And dear gods, did he abuse his arm.

He moved down the large lane, checking his phone and comparing the listing to the names and brands of spooled wires in bins. A metal with a higher heat tolerance was more expensive, but it would endure more hours. However, he needed to construct a better housing for the circuit line to prevent the insulation getting snagged. One of the first arms he built, he totally forgot to factor in gravity and momentum; the wires were not secured like they should’ve been and the model was short lived. He didn’t even make it through the first (return to) paranormal case, they didn’t even arrive to the destination before the thing died.

With a shudder, he tossed the elected spool into his basket. Within, some large crates of craft metal for repairing cosmetic areas of the shop. Some lowkey cheapy materials he bought offhand, rather order wholesale. Some test gear to burn through before reaching out to large distributors for orders.

Next, he ventured to the aisle for hosing and insulation components. A new building line for storing energy for the battery would extend the functionality of his arm. The only thing he could do while resting was recharge the internal battery, big whoop.

On his way to the aisle, Arthur dithered and gave his space a brief examination. The creeping sensation that someone was watching, or someone followed him. It was no mistake, he knew that sensation better than a burn. No way this was paranoia. Never would he attribute his instincts to paranoia.

For now, he played it cool. It was more to the hope that being out in public would deter something malicious, but he wouldn’t let on about his suspicions. Once he reached the parking zone, he’d have to be on his—

In his ruminations, Arthur almost didn’t react in time to avoid the basket that eased out into his path. However, his reflexes remained uncontested, and he managed to swerve despite his gimp arm.

“Holy crepes! I’m so sorry, excuse—” He shut up, and mayhap his face drained of what little color it had. In his path stood….

MAMMA PEPPER!

The stern face, the tight shoulders, the imposing aura. Arthur purposefully avoided the Pepper Paradiso, the whole Pepper Bushel – save one vengeful spook – nononononononononononononononononononoNO! Why is she here? He avoided all the grocery stores in all their small town, save for the few times he had to go out and pick up foodstuffs because his Uncle was too sick or swamped with work, whatever – he couldn’t let Uncle Lance go out, even if he insisted he was fine – she couldn’t be here, not in the sacred mechanics haven. The last frontier of casual shopping, and freedom from the accusing eye. This was inconceivable!

Arthur opened his mouth, but words abandoned him. His throat generated an eerie whine. “Ack.”

“Arthur,” Mamma Pepper spoke, voice icy, but somehow heated and thick. “I haven’t seen you in some time. You and Vivi, don’t come by anymore. Do you?”

Any shape or form of human vocalization was beyond Arthur. He clenched his jaw, choked back a swallow, and tried for a syllable. “Uh.”

“Are you all right? Should I leave you?” She pulled the basket backwards, though there was plenty of room for Arthur to move onward.

“No,” squeaked Arthur. “Uh… it’s all right. I mean, I’m fine. It’s okay.” He took a breath. Without a word, Mamma Pepper stood, rigid and impassive. “Yeah. It’s fine. Um, Vivi… she uh, she—” He stalled when Mamma Pepper raised a hand.

“I see. I didn’t mean to intrude.” She tightened her grip on the basket. “I try not to push, but I also don’t want you both believing you are not welcome. You are always… welcomed at the Pepper Paradiso. Does it help when I remind you?” She peaked one critical eye at Arthur.

He nodded. “It… yes. I appreciate the offer.” He glanced aside, then, checked the supplies in the basket. Industrial Gas Connectors, among other parts and pieces from gauges to replacement dials. “How’s the restaurant doing?” Mamma Pepper seemed to frown. Seemed to. And sighed.

“Business as usual.”

“I didn’t mean the business,” Arthur interjected. “I was talking about your equipment. I meant to call and ask, if you… needed some maintenance work? I could come by sometime. I can bring, eh… Vivi. She’d like to come by too, I think. I’d have to ask. She’s been, um…” reflexively, he reached over to grip at his metal wrist, “been doing, erm… well. Yeah. I wanted to ask….” He stalled.

Mamma Pepper’s stare became harder, more critical. But there was an underlying softness he could scarcely discern.

For the past month Lewis spent the bulk of his time at Vivi’s apartment, while she was out at work or checking in with Arthur during days off. Though she recognized Lewis wouldn’t remain the whole time locked away or secluded from the world, he left notes when he was jamming off and for how long he intended to be. Where he went remained a mystery, which she was not super eager to inquire about but she did remain curious. She was more apt in reading his nonverbal cues and perhaps a little underestimated in her abilities, given her experience with paranormal creatures.

Today was one of the first times she hauled Lewis out, though he was foremost invited to change up his ‘routine’, whatever that consisted of. For a bit, he pretended to give the offer some thought – while he hovered midair looking pretty relaxed. It wasn’t a huge surprise that he went along, not that he had a schedule or anything to keep on task with. Aside from shopping runs, a task reserved for the evening, with funds set out for his personal use, and having no real needs of his own. He spent the money on making sure Vivi was well stocked, so poor-poor Mystery wouldn’t have to watch his partner drink those awful canned teas.

This day was not one to be in any particular place, with an established time to return on. It was a rare day to get out there and go nowhere, spend time in each other’s company.

And Vivi felt like she was getting to know a Lewis better. She wasn’t certain which Lewis she was becoming more aware of, since there was a difference between Lewis Pepper when he was living, and the Lewis postmortem – if she was to put it indelicately. There were not enough notebooks and folders in the Box which gave her insight into Lewis Pepper, not enough pictures to rekindle memories stolen from the pools of reflection. It didn’t matter so much that she remembered who he was, but that she knew who he is. It bothered her that she lost what once was, and might never be able to take it back.

A braided crown of stems and flowers alit on Vivi’s head. She took it down and gave the hoop shape a brief scrutiny.

“Not my best flower crown,” Lewis admitted. “But not a lot of flowers ‘round here.” He held a short stem between his teeth, and gave a comical southern draw.

“Is it imbued with special, mystical properties?” She turned the crown over and over. Lewis’ voice hitched, as he cackled.

“No, Vii. Not everything needs special secret magic to make it special.” He grinned. “It’s an old fashioned, unremarkable, flower crown.”

Vivi set the crown back upon her head. “Plants always have a charm about them, through the winter they endure. I don’t know what it is. The dormancy, the anticipation of reawakening post a harsh and relentless season, something previously viewed as unsightly, reviving, blooming. Hmm… I hope we can have a snowfall before the cold ends.”

Lewis shrugged. He leaned back against the tree they sat beneath, shaded from the sun by the thin branches brimming with miniscule buds. “One more snow fall wouldn’t be too bad, though I always love the colors of spring. I’m eager for the return of some color.”

Across the open field of the park, Mystery darted by like a bullet. As if a vengeful spirit was snapping at his tail. Like he was racing his own shadow.

Vivi reclined back and rested her head on his thigh. “Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“When you leave your notes? Do you actually go out somewhere, or… do you sometimes rest too?” she pondered. “I get this feeling you’re not gone completely. Like you’re still there, but unresponsive. Resting?”

Lewis reached a hand up and scratched at his cheek. “Uh, perceptive much? Sometimes I am a little weary and can’t fully manifest, like the way you… know. Since I can’t just be, I don’t want you to worry. Other times, I’ll find my way to the van. It… is a place where I feel at peace. Dunno why that is.”

Vivi pulled her hands up and folded them over her middle. “Hanging around with the living still overwhelming?”

“It’s a lot of energy to deal with. I can’t really escape it.” Vivi smirked.

“And how’s the van coming along?”

Lewis wheezed, “Slowly.”

Vivi tilted her head back further and gazed into the rich azure sky. “What about you? Not that it matters right now, but you’re not casting a shadow. That only happens when somethings on your mind, or you’ve pushed yourself a little too much.”

Lewis reached over and tucked back a loose hair under the woven crown. “That’s nothing to worry about, I’ve been more active than usual. I guess it’s not so noticeable when we’re doing the travel gig, and you’re focused not on me.” He offered a sly waggle of his brow above the sunglasses, and Vivi responded by squinting back suspiciously. “Mi queria, don’t worry so much. If I thought something was off, you’d be the first person I’d go to.”

Vivi scoffed. “You better, buster.”

Mystery sprinted over and gave pause, long enough to tumble down beside Vivi and roll in the scraggily grass. “Mystery!” The wily hound snatched the crown from her head and took off, his yapping suspiciously rebounding like cackling laughter. “You give that back!” Vivi flew up, scrambling to get on her feet. Lewis was up immediately, skiing forward.

“Oh! I absolutely will catch you! Don’t you doubt it!”

The ears and hair on Mystery shot up, and he was off faster than a beam of light. Lewis dove after the dog, zigzagging in wild patterns and grabbing at thin air upon every duck and slide Mystery pulled. The grass beneath Lewis’ heels scorched upon every twist; try as he might though, the pup was unattainable.

Before Vivi could fully devote herself to the chase, the muffled hum of her phone went off. She almost went ahead and left the phone beneath the tree, tucked away safely in the backpack, but decided better and picked it up. “Arthur?”

“Hey,” replied through the phone.

“Didn’t expect a call from you. Is everything okay?” She spun around and watched as Mystery made a wide turn, with Lewis hot on his tail. Literally. When Lewis spied Vivi on the phone, he abruptly broke out of his glide and jogged over. “Hmm?”

“What was that? Is Lew there?”

“Yeaahhh… Lew’s here.” She grinned up at the aforementioned specter. Lewis’ appearance flashed and shimmered, he set his hands on his vest and tugged. “Arthur says hi.”

“Tell him… hey, back for me?”

“Lew says Hay.” Arthur laughed. That was a good sound.

“I was callin’ to see if you were busy tonight, I have something I wanna ask.”

Vivi stepped back into the shade and leaned on the tree. “You can’t ask right now, over the phone?” Mystery padded around the side of the tree, lil crown looped over one ear.

“It’s ahh… a lil complicated, to talk about. Actually, you and Lew both.” Arthur didn’t sound super fortified himself, but his words came through. “Would Lew be willing to come by? If not, that’s okay too. It’s up to him. But he can come by too, I could talk to him.”

Vivi looked over to Lewis and hit the mute button on her phone. “He wants to see you.”

“I got that.” Lewis’ appearance dimmed, the burning eye behind the sunglasses glistened in the shifting fractures of his projected appearance. For a moment, Vivi thought he would vanish or lose his grip.

“You can say no,” she affirmed. “You don’t have to give a reason. He’ll understand.”

Lewis snatched her hand before she could work at the phone screen. “No, espera. I’d like to see Artie.”

“You sure?” You and he… you think you’re up for it?”

“Yeah.” Lewis took the little stalk of grass from his mouth and tossed it. “If he’s cool, I’d be down for a visit.”

Vivi unmuted her phone. “Hey Art, you still there?” Arthur replied with a hum. Some background noise came through his side, it sounded like traffic or machinery. “What would be a good time for us to swing by?”

“Around seven, a little after,” he offered. “I’m running some errands, so no rush. You don’t sleep, do you?”

“Mmm,” Vivi mocked contemplated. “It’s not in my schedule.” A sound akin to static emitted, and she took it as Lewis best attempt at clearing his throat. “Sounds good.” She wondered briefly, but dismissed the thoughts. “We’ll see you then.” She clicked off the phone and made certain it was closed out.

To Lewis, “He sounded tense and anxious. I didn’t want to ask.”

Lewis went over and took the crown off Mystery’s head, and set it back on Vivi’s blue hair. “If there’s a problem, I can duck out. Not that I mind a meet, some nonbusiness would be a nice change.”

Vivi peered at him quizzically. “I don’t think there should be. He’s put a lot of work at the shop, and that helps. But we’ll see.” She began walking, with Mystery picking up the pace by her side and Lewis at her shoulder. “Anywhere else you wanna roll by and check out?” She fitted her hand into Lewis’ and gripped his fingers.

In a flash of embers, Lewis lost his very convincing living appearance and stood frozen mid stride. At least the park for the time sat empty.

Vivi stiffened. “Fuck!”

Another crate of supplies went into the back of the work truck on loan. The parts and materials sat on high value, even the copper was an easy swipe if some lowlife happened by and recognized the glossy hull. With all the valuables packed into the front seats, Arthur shut and locked up.

Paths of sidewalk wound around the patches of desert xeriscape and clumps of cactus, cutting the sidewalk and parking zone into jagged portions. An expansive patio rolled out from the building entrance, fitted with a wide awning and short fence to divide the patio from the walkway. A few tables sat, awaiting company on the chilly day.

Arthur moved through the opening of the fence, his gaze taking in faces, his apprehension spiked higher. He didn’t see any familiar faces, but that didn’t reassure him. It was chilly, and his metal arm shifted in the sling; the only arm covered at this time. It would be best to leave, this wasn’t a good idea. He’d call, apologize. She’d understand. He hoped she’d understand. He took a step back. On the thoroughfare traffic picked up, though none of the vehicles cruising by slowed or pulled into the parking lane. Not yet. But soon….

The entrance to the café swept open and a familiar face glided out. Arthur grimaced, but hadn’t given his legs the memo to relocate. That would’ve been hella rude.

“I’m glad you could make it.”

Arthur put a hand to the low top of the fence at his side, but reframed from leaning. He was certain if he did anything but stand, he’d collapse.

“Yeah. I had a,” he stammered, struggling to collect his words, “a last pickup. Have you been waiting long?”

Mamma Pepper stood stock still, statuesque. “Not long at all. It’s chilly outside, I have a table waiting.” It sounded almost like she was inviting him into her own restaurant, though Arthur wasn’t sure why this out of the way café.

He checked the area over before stepping forward. One foot, then the other, steady. “This place. It’s new.”

“I assisted the owner’s in getting set up,” Mamma Pepper supplied. She held the door for Arthur, until he ventured in of his own pace. “Sometimes my family offers taste testing, and vice versa.”

Arthur concealed the little twinge that ran through his spine. “Awesome.” The interior was not splendid or over done, but simplistic with a homey charm. At the furthest side of the room, logs crackled and churned within a brick fireplace. From the ceiling, rustic lanterns hung. The dim light competed with the sparse interior tables, and the little candles flickering. One table at the furthest wall harbored a mug of steaming liquid.

“Take your time, if you choose to order,” Mamma Pepper spoke. “There’s no rush.” She left him and weaved around the tables, until she reached her target. She pulled a chair out, and then took her seat at the table across from the vacant chair. A blatant invitation, if he ever saw one.

Despite a line, Arthur went ahead and made an order. After the barista took his name, he ventured over to the location Mamma Pepper claimed. She was sipping at the beverage. “I never gave that sorta theme much thought,” he admitted. “They offer some interesting… mixes.” Concoctions sounded rude.

Mamma Pepper nodded and hummed. “Coffee and tea blends, with traditional staples. I wanted to tell you about it sooner, but I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Ah.”

“How have you been?” She squinted one eye at Arthur. “I expect well.”

“Y-yeah. We… uh, Vii and I, we’re still at it.” He rubbed the back of his head with the heel of his palm. “Doing investigations. Y’know that.”

“Nothing stops that girl.” A hint of a smile graced Mamma Pepper’s face. “I’m glad to hear.”

The barista brought by Arthur’s beverage, exchanged conversation on how the two were doing, and left. It was a joy to focus on something else, if even briefly.

“What did you get?”

Arthur gave the warm liquid a try. “One of the trademark Hy-blends.” He wasn’t a stranger to abominable tea and coffee concoctions, or anything to spark his brain and keep his eyes open on the longest of long roads between towns. But this was really good, the appropriate balance of strength to mellow, with perhaps too much cream making it thick like ice-cream. But good nonetheless. It wouldn’t keep his heart beating, but it was flavorful.

His mind worked to bring forth the questions, to inquire about how a family went on in the absence of a loved one. How did one approach the topic, and when was it an appropriate time? There was no reason to approach that at all, no reason to drag it forward if he could avoid it. He sipped his beverage, trying his darndest not to quake.

“You have a way with the machinery,” Mamma Pepper went on, through the absence of substance. “The equipment gets fixed – mind you – everything works without hitch, but it’s not the same. I can’t put my finger on what’s different. Your help was appreciated.”

Arthur slunk down in his seat a bit. “Yeah. Mn, sorry ‘bout that. Not, uh….”

“Arthur,” she stated, firmly. “I’m not disappointed. I’m trying to explain that we missed you. We missed Arthur, not Arthur the mechanic. Just… Arthur.” She sipped at her drink.

“Oh, right.” He looked around at the dimly lit space, the steady stream of customers. “Have you helped other restaurants get opened up? It’s pretty sweet, nothing like the Pepper Paradiso. Er, it’s more… rustic, I guess?”

Their exchange seemed to fall into place after that, with Mamma Pepper going lightly over a few changes at the Pepper Paradiso. The two caught up on how they were getting along, while skittering aside from the topic involving Vivi. Arthur wasn’t certain how to approach that grape vine, but Mamma Pepper’s questions were careful. It almost felt normal, like he wasn’t cowering under some terrible weight and suffocating. He could breath a little easier, his replies coming with minimal hitch – when he didn’t think about the now. She did admit her family kept up to date with Uncle Lance, which surprised him. Lance never let on he stayed in touch with the Peppers, though given his Uncle’s pokey (though prying) it was a little obvious.

As the minutes ticked by, Arthur did become comfortable with a topic delving into how Vivi was keeping. He didn’t want to elaborate a whole lot, but he wanted to assure Mamma Pepper that in the least, the blue-headed investigator sleuth had asked about the family. He wasn’t sure where to go from there, but Mamma Pepper filled in the blanks. She offered cheerful accounts of how the girls were growing so fast, what grade they were in now, and the mischief. It was all good conversation, pleasant and cathartic about the little things. Mostly mundane, and some entertaining and exciting. And when Arthur talked about the hamster he adopted, and built prosthetic wheels for, Mamma Pepper even smiled.

It was a little after six and the sun was in full set, when Vivi biked her way up the sidewalk beside Kingsman Mechanics. With her trotted the Mystery, prancing like a gazelle and very undog-like, but who was paying attention? Staff hadn’t cleared out completely, though the garages had long been shuttered and locked; barring the entitled customer from trying to get a simple (two hour) fix done on their car at the last minute. Vivi coasted up the empty carport and set her bike beside one of the sign poles for reserved parking, and latched the chain. Then, went over to the entry door and knocked. While she waited, Mystery turned his nose down and gave the area a brief scout.

“I know you can open the door, but I’m not keen on sneaking in.” As per usual, she wore one of the work backpacks, and in the side pocket sat a snug flashlight.

To Mystery, “You can run off for a bit, if you need. I think we’ll be fine.” This time, she gave the doorbell a buzz.

Mystery raised his head and gave Vivi one of his, “give me a break,” looks. He trotted back over.

In due time a wobbly, hazy form swelled beyond the dim barrier of the door. The door unlatched and opened; Uncle Lance stood there, somewhat surprised. “Aye, hey Vivi. Mystery.” He nodded to the dog as he padded by, welcoming himself in without prompt. “Arthur expectin’ yu?”

“Yeah,” she gasped. Upon entry, Uncle Lance secured the door behind them and pocketed the keys. “We’re a bit early… I had a few stops to make. Is he not in?” She fell in step behind Lance as he led the way, through the dark passage. Most the lights through the main workshop remained off, only the soft lamps offering radiance, enough to keep people from stumbling into each other or getting lost.

“Naw, been out all day.” Lance rolled his shoulders and stretched up one arm, gripping at the socket. “I should replace both arms,” he muttered. When he lowered that arm, he checked his watch. He didn’t wear a watch. “Not too worried. Ceptin’, I don’t have a ride out of ‘ere.”

Vivi couldn’t help but set a hand over her face and stifle the snicker. It was usually her or Arthur winding up stranded due to shared vehicles, if her bike was not available (though Arthur would first eat a healthbar than ride her bike). Now, it was Uncle Lance’s turn.

“I’m so sorry about that.”

Mystery yapped. It was a distant reply, given that he was now patrolling the work garage.

“Can’t be helped. I’m just glad whatever nonsense yu get involved with, you came out safe.”

Vivi grimaced and bit her lip. “Yes, very glad. It could’ve been bad.” Unbeknownst to Vivi, the flashlight flickered sporadically, until it sputtered and went out entirely. Crackling webs of fuchsia detached and dispersed off through the murky air.

Lance swung away from heading toward the office and gestured. “Something up with that flashlight?”

“Huh?” Vivi twisted herself in order to view the aforementioned electric torch. “Uhh?”

“I seein’ you haul that there thing around.” He tugged on his beard, in thought. “Well, not lately…. You’re not planning on doin’ no spook snoopin with Arthur? Ya’ll are on break from that job-work, eh? A vacation, ain’t it called?” He fixed Vivi with a ferocious, accusing glare – the shadow around his eyes intensifying to the tenth power. “Ain’t it, girl?”

Vivi sweated. How was it possible for someone so opposite of tall, to be so imposing. “N-no, Uncle. We… I swear….”

“I pay Arthur to do one of two things.” Uncle Lance counted them off on his fingers. “Work. An’ Rest. Ya got that!”

Vivi grabbed at her scarf. Oh sweet mother of gods, Lance looked set to unite with his rifle. “No! Absolutely NOT! Er, I… it needs to be looked over. I forgot to hand it over to Arthur, it was my fault! I was careless!” Lance’s features became more relaxed, and she risked a breathy exhale. Crisis averted.

“Ah. Groovy.” He pivoted and began walking, saying over his shoulder, “Call me when he gets in. And if you need somethin’, there’s chicken wings in the fridge.”

Vivi waved after him. “Kay! Thank you!” And then raced off, shooting into the corridor and charging up the stairs. Down the hall, the door to Arthur’s work room awaited ajar, and she barreled in.

A flash of embers all but blinded her. The rose-tinted blaze faded out leaving a hard, burnt fragrance throughout the room. “Lewis! Again?” She wobbled aside when Mystery shoved his way in through the doorway. “How does this keep happening?!”

“I thought you were Uncle Lance!” came the disembodied retort, somewhat crackly.

Vivi shut the door and checked the corkboard with the pinned schematics. “Why didn’t you wait then?” None of them were burnt, which was good.

“I got bored.” In a fuchsia surge of flames, Lewis shape reappeared. A skull and death suit, and then a fizzing surge of embers swirled about the skull and fitted the spirit with cheeks and a jaw, a living memory. “And… I kind of wanted to check the place out.”

Vivi studied Lewis for a moment, but said nothing. That was fast, though he hadn’t shed the death suit yet. “Okay. I’ll send Art a text, let him know we’re here. Make sure we don’t surprise him.” She set the backpack on the couch and rummaged through it. Mystery hopped up onto the cushions and curled up, his eyes tracking Vivi’s work. Up until she pulled up the laptop and her phone. “Aw. No power.”

She and Mystery turned their eyes to Lewis.

The spirit glanced aside and tugged at his tie. “You did ask earlier, didn’t you?”

Vivi pointed to her little phone. “There is a battery in here. It has only so much power.” Mystery growled and yipped.

“Be thankful your apartment covers utility costs.”

Vivi grumbled under her breath as she rooted around her backpack for the charger. “I forgot it. I know better.” Mystery bounced off the couch, within seconds he was back with Arthur’s charger clamped in his teeth. “Thank you. I probably have to hook up my laptop too.” She tsked, this was cumbersome and she knew better.

“I’m sorry!” Lewis swiped off the embers crackling at his vest and shirt sleeves, the same way someone would straighten out wrinkles.

“No you’re not,” Vivi snapped. “You shouldn’t be. It’s not your fault.” Thankfully, she never took the laptops charger out of the backpack; let alone disconnected it. She hooked it up to a surge bar and plopped down on the couch once more. Lewis sat down beside her.

“Watcha lookin’ up?”

“Emails. There better not be emails in my damn emails.” She went through the mail icon and sighed. “Of course, it’s from Duet.”

“Joy o joys.”

“A list of assets for review.” She closed out the email. “I’ll look at those later.” She pulled up a new tab, and began researching how to stop spirits from syphoning battery life on the Paranormal Corner site.

“Maybe… I should go for a bit.” Lewis glided out of his seat, up until Vivi caught the tail end of his vest and hauled him back down. “Or not….”

“Atta boy.”

#mystery skulls #mystery skulls fanfiction #mystery skulls fanfic #msa fanfiction #msa fanfic #mystery skulls lewis #mystery skulls mamma pepper #mystery skulls vivi #mystery skulls lance #mystery skulls mystery #mystery skulls arthur #mystery skulls ghost

7 notes · View notes

inventors-fair · 4 years ago

Text

A Brief History of Surprise

I feel that with this first round of submissions, I’m seeing a lot of “complexity for complexity’s sake,” a lot of “what ifs” that rely on clever appearances taking precedent over elegant design. With that in mind, I thought I’d do a little bit of a personal essay on what I found surprising over Magic’s history. I hope that you will learn a little more about what I’m after and maybe relate to some of it yourselves.

So, what surprised me?

Incremental Rewards

My first block ever was the Alara block, and I’ll always have some nostalgia for it, despite the weirdness. Following that, though, was Zendikar. Zendikar was a fast, aggressive set, and yet there were payoffs that I found amazing once you got there. Sadistic Sacrament was pretty mediocre on its own, but once I ramped up to ten mana, I could selectively mill my opponent and they would know exactly what I had taken out. Hopelessness! Fantastic! And then I saw my first brand-new build-around-me card: Archmage’s Ascension. You could build up over time, over specific cards, with specific strategies, and then control to your heart’s content. Tutoring every turn! What power! And all you had to do was work for it.

Following this, I will say that the Eldrazi surprised me too. Big creatures with massive rewards, sure, they were...something. But there was something off about them, something that I still find strange. I think that their god-like card value was too much for me to handle. I didn’t focus on playing them — I focused on how to beat them. And that wasn’t fun. I was scared. Keyword soup has its time and place, but ability soup has to be balanced.

That New Recursion

The Return to Ravnica prerelease was the first one I had ever been to. Scavenge, Overload, Unleash, Detain and Populate were all fantastic mechanics, and then came along Gatecrash. The fact is, Extort remains my favorite out of all of them to play, but I keep coming back to Cipher. What a messed-up and amazing flavor, complex and strange, nuanced and difficult. Hitting with a creature and creating spells every turn was hard to pull off, but the design remains one of my favorites, and I don’t know why.

I wish they had brought it back for Modern Horizons, honestly. It’s hard to make flavorfully work in every context, because frankly, it almost sounds like sci-fi. And yet it works! It’s shadowy, powerful, strong-get-stronger vibe. And even though it wasn’t really popular, well, I still loved it. I wanted to give other spells Cipher. I wanted to see more than what was there. I wanted to unlock its secrets.

Just my Type

I groked Bestow. Theros as a whole was the set I played the most socially for a good long time. I didn’t like every aspect, but I think that Bestow was the mechanic I was least expecting. Enchantment creatures made sense, no different than artifact creatures. But now, we had creatures that could become auras, creatures that targeted upon casting, beings that engulfed other beings in light and stars and the power of Nyx!

Bestow was the first mechanic I knew I couldn’t have come up with by any stretch of the imagination, not on my own. I had been making custom cards since high school, and this was early in my college career. I was bowled over, blown away, enthralled — enchanted, if you will. I still enjoy Theros limited. It’s no Innistrad, but it’s fun, a swing between battlecruising, aggressive strategizing, and the occasional God.

Speaking of, the Gods surprised me as well. I loved these things. Their lack of creature-dom, the ability to become real and then swing in with cackling precision, was just what I loved about powerful cards those days. You had to work for them. They didn’t just do things on their own. I liked Magic the most when you had to figure it out. Maybe that’s why I’m liking Party so much in this new set.

Coming Together

You know, looking back on my Magic history and personal journey, I find myself pleasantly surprised by two specific mechanics: Party and Historic. These aren’t mechanics per se like Cipher or Bestow, but the batching made sense in a flavorful way that changed the way I build decks in limited. I searched for specific aspects, played my cards to maximize the benefit of playing other cards, and had to make something cohesive that rewarded me for playing right. That’s really all you want out of a game.

I had a blast playing with ZNR and DOM in the drafts that I was able to do, even if I didn’t do the best compared to other players. Utilizing complex mechanics made me feel good even when I wasn’t the best at them. That’s what surprised me the most, considering my lukewarm reception to the cards at first. I underestimated how much I’d enjoy playing with them because I underestimated myself.

Okay, now I’m going to run down a list of surprising cards to me and why I love them. Most of these cards I was surprised upon seeing them, and many played well as well. Let’s get specific.

Mirror-Sigil Sergeant: I get to play my favorite color AND get hella rhinos out of it? Double double, baby!

Thraximundar: I think this is still one of my favorite legends. I want to know everything about him. That name, that flavor... Oh, and a decent card, I suppose.

Ransack the Lab: This is exactly what black should be doing! Great card, you love to see it and play it.

As Foretold: Holy crap, this card. I love it so much. Combo exploitable, free spell increments, great name, great art. I had to reread it so many times.

Vorapede: I always love my Baneslayers, but I pulled this card blind, and the aggression was more than I was used to.

Elbrus, the Binding Blade: Another blind Dark Ascension card! This was the kind of reward I loved working up to.

Gauntlets of Light: I wanted this card and I got this card. Toughness aggro is a beast to beat.

Klothys, God of Destiny: This card surprised me because I hadn’t expected a multicolored God. But she fit well, she played GREAT, and I love her.

Shaman of the Great Hunt: Repeatable multicolored draw? Jesus, what a beast. I felt my stomach turn when this thing hit the table.

Bestial Menace: Oh, an old favorite. Animal summoning never felt so good. I wanted them all to be friends.

Avacyn, Angel of Hope: So simple, so powerful, and she did exactly what she said on the tin. Feels good every time.

The Adventure mechanic: Never before seen, impossible to conceive, staggeringly surprising, and it played great.

Ugin, the Spirit Dragon: Powerful, yes, but the flavor? Ghostfire, plus removal, and then the inverse of his brother Nicol Bolas. Could not have been better.

Should you play to my favorites? Well, obviously not. Should you push the envelope? Don’t push it off a cliff; it’s not a paper airplane. Should you think about your past and consider how the designers of Magic created your own favorite cards that made you gasp and squeal and swear?

YES. Yes! That’s the whole point of this contest! Delve into yourself! Make something that you love! Do something that’s new and yours but is rooted in the real! You’re not here to show off the possibilities of your custom card maker, you’re here to make something you love! If you don’t love it, start over. If you love it for the wrong reasons, start over. Magic should be for everyone. That’s the thing about all those cards and mechanics and ramblings above there: those are the reasons I love those cards. A thousand other players can love them for a thousand other reasons. Empathize beyond.

We are a community. Never forget that.

@abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #inventor's fair #surprise me #monday blog #long post

16 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #366

“you can’t take me from me”

If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? No. Do you live by a forest? Not anymore. :( How old are your parents? Late 50s. What do you prefer: Small cars, hybrids, trucks or SUVs? Uh, I guess normal ones? Like the ones with four doors and not that horribly low to the ground. What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? I've never read a book that was scary to me. Do your parents drink? Dad doesn't anymore, and Mom very rarely does, usually just for special occasions. Does downloading music without paying make you feel guilty? Yes, so idk why I still do it. .-. Do you have any pet fish? Nah. What’s your favorite seafood to eat? I only like shrimp. Does your house have air conditioning? Yes. Name the creepiest horror movie character for you: Ghostface, ever since I was a kid. I was horrified of him, and I still think his design is mega creepy. How many college degrees do you want? I wanted to get at most a Bachelor's (I never saw reason to go higher in the fields I was interested in, except for my brief wildlife biologist aspiration), but now I know I'm not getting any degrees. Do you like animals? I love animals. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes. What do you wear to sleep? Pj pants and a tank top. How many keys do you carry with you? One. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah. Sometimes Dad and I would go to hockey games together. I don't really care for sports, hockey included, but it was still something we bonded over since I was normally in the living room on the laptop while he was watching it. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. Both are important, but I'd rather have a dedicated, worthy employee versus a lazy one that just happens to have brains. Have you ever been covered in mud? Yes, as a kid. Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, but omG I fucking wish. Ever lost your voice? Yes. Do you take your time when making an important decision? I take way too much time because I obsess over doing the right thing. Are you a cautious person? Very. Do you chew gum? Sometimes. What makeup product do you never use? A lot, really. Bronzer is literally never, I haven't touched blush in forever, and the same goes for foundation. Have you ever been offered drugs on the street? No. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Only at aquariums. Do you ever put bread in your soup? UGH, NO. Bread should NOT be soggy. Do you want some soup? No, I don't even really like soup. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yeah, the sensor thing for my wireless mouse. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? I don't believe so; I'd certainly feel it and wake up. Have you ever done that to someone else? Pretty sure no. Is there any TV show you watch religiously? No. Do you like the window seat or aisle seat on an airplane? WINDOW. I hate the aisle seat, mainly because I get dizzy when I can't see outside for some reason? I really don't know how that works, but when I sit at the window and can see what the plane is doing, I don't get dizzy. I also really want to just stare outside as I listen to my iPod. Has anyone ever really insulted you? Yes. Do you ever make banana sandwiches? I have a peanut butter and banana sandwich rarely. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Probably Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Phil went HARD, y'all. Did your parents teach you how to cook/bake when you were growing up? There were rare occasions where I helped cook, but I never really learned. If you could own any three fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show) Ohhh, interesting. I'm going to include games in this, because that's what I'm most informed in. ... And I'm still blanking. OH! Definitely a Dreamvisitor from Wings of Fire, as I think it'd be pretty cool or even useful to see into other's dreams and even communicate. The Obsidian Mirror from the same series would also be pretty cool, but also seems somewhat immoral to me, I guess, to be able to spy on others. I mean it could be useful in some cases, but still. I somehow can't think of a third one, even after expanding my options to games. A lot of game objects are just too specific to their fantasy universe and not helpful in real life. What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve worked somewhere? Not even two hours lmaoooo. Have you ever negotiated a pay raise? No. Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? No. Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services? No. What is your favorite smell/scent? Cinnamon rolls. How long can you run without stopping? I honestly don't think I *could* run without my knees immediately being like "um excuse the fuck out of you" and crumpling. What age do you want to live to? I know this varies from person to person, so I can't say an exact age, but I do. NOT. Want to live to where I'm a liability/require other people to take care of me, like give me a bath and stuff. No. Fuck-ing. Thank you. If you had a time machine, when would you go to? I'd honestly want a glimpse into my future, just to see how I'll be. At the same time though, I feel like knowing would suck if I saw something bad instead of a good life. Like, I'd possibly be suicidal again if it's just crap. I feel like if I was legitimately offered this, I would say no. Have you ever been infatuated with someone and you didn’t even know why? No. I think. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Is your more photogenic side your left or right? Well, because of how my hair is positioned, my left side. My hair is parted very far to the left, so the right side of my face is sorta cut diagonally by hair. Do you currently owe money to anyone? No. If you were ever to be on the news, what would you want it to be for? Something heroic, I guess. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Accidentally, probably up to like 80 on the highway. Have you ever donated blood? Have you ever done a blood test? I have to both. Have you been inside of a burning building? What happened? Z O I N K S no. Do you believe in astrology/horoscopes? Nope. Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? No. Have you been in a car accident? What happened? Yes. Some idiot was carrying wood in the back of his truck, and it wasn't secured whatsoever. He hit a bumpy spot, and some of the wood dropped to the road, and he began to swerve out of control. Nailed the side and bumper of my mom's car. Mom drove into a ditch, but in some manner to avoid us flipping over, which judging from the impact point, cops theorized was "supposed" to happen. Nowadays I am terrified to ride or drive behind trucks carrying anything in the back. Have you ever lived alone? No. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Once, on my leg. Have you ever bought stuff at a thrift store? Yeah, I love thrift shops. What was your very first email address? The one I still use now, so I won't share it. It fits me well, but I still hate sharing it, haha. It's just not very "adult-ish." How often do you take naps? Just about every day. Have you ever won a game of pool? Idr. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Have you been in a long-distance relationship? Yes. Have you swam in the ocean? Yeah, I love it. Have you gone ziplining? No, but it'd be cool! Have you been rock climbing? No, just those mock walls at school field days and stuff. Have you hitchhiked? No. Have you had stitches? Where? My chin and then at the very base of my spine. Have you ridden in a taxi? What about an Uber/Lyft? None of those. Have you ridden on a horse? Not legit, but at childhood festivals where there are some horses that walk in a circle... the poor things. I would LOVE to ride a non-restrained, tame horse. Ugh, I wish I could have a horse in general. Their ability to bond with humans is magical. I'll never actually have one, though. I could nooot do all the care they require, and I don't plan on living somewhere where having a horse is appropriate. Have you taken part in a protest? What for? No, just boycotting. Have you ever signed a petition? Yes. I can't remember all of them. Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? No. Have you ever given someone else a haircut? No. What is the longest your hair has been? Just past the small of my back. Have you ever been stranded because your car broke down? No. Thank god for phones, lol. Have you performed on stage? What did you do? Yes, for school band concerts as well as dance recitals. Have you ever used a tanning bed? What about tanning spray? No. How do you prefer to celebrate your birthday? Just quiet and chill with my family, but still give me alone time, please. Who is the best cook that you know? /shrug Do you believe in Bigfoot? What about the Loch Ness Monster? The Loch Ness Monster I don't, but I find surviving sasquatches very possible. There's just too many reported sightings to be totally ignored. I'm not 100% on them still being around, though. I feel like we would've caught one by now. Do your friends tend to be male or female? Female. If you could change anything about human nature, what would it be? Our proclivity to violence when angered. Have you ever fainted? Yes. What skills would you like to learn? Cooking, how to handle money in various contexts, social skills... There's a lot of things. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Meerkats, for sure. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don’t. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? No. Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Do you have a favourite outfit that you like to wear for nights out? I don't have "nights out." When you have a soft drink, do you prefer it in a bottle or can? I like cans because the metal helps it stay cold. Who was the last person to embarrass you? What did they do? I don't know. When you’re upset, do you tend to comfort eat or lose your appetite? I am a BAD comfort eater. Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Does/did that person go to the same school as you? My online friend Sammy. No. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? No. When was the last time you used a public toilet? Ummm I think for my birthday lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason has brown eyes. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? That '70s Show and especially Supernatural.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''voices'' by motionless in white

3 notes · View notes

sharpen-jadescythe · 4 years ago

Text

Operation Kitten, 2

Part Two: Sharpen attempts to match wits with Mathias Shaw, himbo vs. spymaster. And we find out about Agent Kitten!

I trusted my gut again and went with it. I had every right to still be furious about the way things were run in the SI:7 Seals so I really put it to him. “But I haven’t seen these values in the SI:7 Seals. Not anywhere. Even if I did join to help you clean things up or whatever you’re implying. Not within these four walls, not in these barracks, not in any of the instructors, and Elune knows, there wasn’t a decent fool among the other recruits. Those ethics just aren’t there.”

“Mack. Go get us some water.” Mathias Shaw glanced up at the giant Kul Tiran man standing there, glowering at me.

Big Mack shifted his feet, gave a final grunt my way, then he nodded to Mathias and left us alone in the interrogation room.

Mathias arched an eyebrow at me. For a spy guy, he can come across as very phony. Or, dramatic. Perhaps he thinks it’s cute. You know, cleverer than the average bear, making fun of the profession he’s fully versed in? A way for him to keep things light. And so maybe it is cute, okay fine.

Mathias pointed at me again, as if still haggling over that beat down nag he was trying to sell me. “I hope you’re not thirsty, Sharp. You’re not really getting any water—”

“Look. I can follow things at least that far. So what’s up? What’s this big secret you want to tell me, alone?”

“It’s on a need-to-know basis. Big Mack deals with recruits and he’s high up the chain. He does know, but it’s best if he’s not seen as knowing. Locked up in a room for a really long time with a so-called failed recruit? Too obvious. That is, if any of the others are as decent as you proved to be, and they get suspicious.”

“…Okay. What?”

“That, in itself, was the test. We’re looking for fit men and women, for tough people. Yes, that’s true. But we’re also recruiting people who genuinely espouse the values of the Alliance. People who would serve because they care, not necessarily for a paycheck. A lot of stellar men and women apply, yes. And some of them do come from connections that are already inside the Seals, milking us for what we’ll let them get away with while they do important work. However, we can’t ignore that kind of talent, either. If a cousin of King Anduin Wrynn or Jaina Proudmoore walks through these doors, can we really turn away that magical or mental ability running through their veins? But once they get through those doors, we take a closer look. We take people who show us they are far more than pedigree. Only very good men and women. Sharpen, you are such a one.”

I have to admit, Jiroki? I was still completely lost.

Mathias cleared his throat, “So that Dwarf? You know the one, you actually almost blew his cover once, telling Hael he was trying too hard. Hael was our a plant. Hael tried to keep you up with drinking the night before the exam because we asked him to. You wouldn’t fall for it, though. And that death-defying swim across icy waters? Hael can swim like a fish! He was never in any danger, even that shark of his was Hael’s backup.”

“Wait—that was his shark? His hunter pet?!”

Mathias gave a proud smirk, “Ho, yes. And Hael knows a good recruit when he sees one, a fellow hunter. Sharpen, he liked you. He was hoping you’d give in and try to save his life out there in the water—or rather, at least what appeared to be an emergency situation to you. We were really hoping you’d pass that part of the test, that you weren’t like the others. Life first, serving the Light. That is what the Alliance stands for, the greater good. I was willing to make an allowance, that perhaps you were just afraid for your own life. You’d passed all the other tests with flying colors.

“So wait. Milnon Anaar that Draenei? And Felicia Graves, the half mermaid—”

“She’d be a quarter-mermaid then, Sharpen.”

“They both failed the test? But they were superstars. They really, honestly failed?”

“All of them did. Sharpen, everyone in your class got cut.”

I didn’t think, I threw my arms up and let out a celebratory ‘Woop!’ before realizing I’d done it.

Mathias smiled at me. It was the first real smile that I remember seeing on that man.

“Yes, well done. Well done, Agent Sharpen. We recruited from excellent stock. You had the right values all along—we would have preferred that you saved Agent Hael out in the arctic ocean instead of punching him in the face. But then again, you punched me in the face as well and, once I came to, and after I put certain accounts together from those who witnessed things on the beach, it made more sense that you were experiencing a kind of moral outrage. A breach of the ethic code that you yourself live by and that we also live by here at SI:7.”

“…Woah.”

“It may take a few years, and maybe even not that long for the ones using us for fame and fortune to eventually retire. But I’d say our recruitment process that sifts the wheat from the chaff is well in place and functioning. Sharpen, you’re in.”

I thought things over fully this time, “I guess if you’re allowed to punch Mathias Shaw and still be an SI:7 Seal, that is a good sign.”

“If you tell your buddies that’s the way to pass the test, I will punch you where the sun don’t shine, Sharpen Jadescythe, and leave you there.”

I shook my head at him, “Nice to have the honor, but I still don’t like this.”

“Why not?”

“You can’t place all that burden on me, the man to fix your organization. Or other people like me. New recruits, naked to the process. I hit you in the face and screamed that I was a decent person who didn’t want to put up with it, that’s what it took? And all those amoral guys at the top—those are the agents calling the shots. Those are the ones I’ll be dropped off in who-knows-where with, following their orders. This is still a corrupt organization. And I’m supposed to go and risk my life for you? No thank you.”

Mathias scowled rubbed his temples. Jiroki, you and him have that in common, it’s kind of cute. Well, coming from you, it’s cute.

He was gruff, “I can see your sister’s influence coming through. Sharpen, please don’t throw this once-in-a-lifetime chance away? Please, don’t do that. A lot of good can be done.” He growled, “I don’t want to call you a himbo for a second time.”

I stood up right then and there. “I want to leave.”

“And do I have to bring up your questionable connections with the Horde, especially through a certain burlesque troupe that claims to be faction-neutral, but we both know such a thing doesn’t exist.”

“You’re trying to blackmail me?”

“Doing one mission for the Seals is a great way to confirm your loyalty for the Alliance.”

“Walking out of here and not punching you in the face again is another way I can think of! In any case, I’m not on trial here, I didn’t commit any crimes. You can’t hold me here.”

“Unless—”

“If you want to bring up in a Boralus court that I punched you, Mathias Shaw, in the face, and tht you let me? And then you were laid flat out on the beach for several hours before they got the courage to move you? Heck, that’s your call.”

Mathias cursed under his breath. “Sit, please. At least for this last part before you go.”

I did, who knows why. Maybe because Mathias had pulled a file out of the box on the table, and I thought it might be about me. I saw writing in Darnassian on the front.

“You tried to keep a man here by corrupt means. You tried to blackmail me—now isn’t that the very thing we were just talking about? Call me a himbo again if you dare, Mathias. But I listen to my instincts first and foremost. They’ve kept me alive so far, they’ve kept me sane. And I sure sniffed you out, didn’t I? This isn’t a solid organization. It isn’t ethical what you all do here. And don’t give me that crap about how spies need to cross the line sometimes, I’ve heard it all before. Whatever you want to get over on me, it’s not going to work. Now what is that thing?”

“Oh, you’ve heard it before, have you? From your sister?” Mathias passed the dark blue folder over to me. “We do trust you, Sharpen. We want to extend some trust as a starting point. Some months ago, a man came in here just like you did. Another Night Elf man who had the same concerns. I told him, as I’m telling you now, that he could choose his own assignments, work with who he wanted. Especially if he wanted to avoid the corrupt higher-ups. That means you’ll have sort of… grunt work, and none of the real thrilling stuff when working as an SI:7 Seal isn’t a vacation and you’re bound to tangle with personalities, but still—I offered him a clean, good foundation to start with.”

“This his file?”

“Go on, open it. You’ve already signed a nondisclosure contract with us, so I know you won’t blab anything. I’m betting though, that you won’t want to.” Mathias watched me flip through the pages inside, he waited for me to get the gist of it. And that would have been easy to read all over my face. “… Night Elf druid Silas Freedale, one of our more recent and our very best, the excellent swimmer, he went off to Ashenvale to find something extremely important for the Alliance, and indeed for your people.” Shaw crossed his arms again, “But since he never came back, we need someone, someone incorruptible with a real vested interest, to go and find out what happened to him.”

“Is he dead?”

Mathias stared at me.

“Oh! I’m finding that out, then.” I turned a few more pages. “That is, if I even take this assignment. If I even agree to become a Seal.”

“What would you like your codename to be, Raorin?”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You could keep Sharpen. It already sounds like a mysterious spy name. Or even the name of a whole operation. Or, you could go by Agent Jadescythe.”

I frowned, “Flattery? That, I can appreciate. That’s a little less slimy… A world tree! This is about a new world tree? And it’s called Operation Kitten?”

“That’s right. Because our deep cover catform agent most likely got stuck up the very world tree he was supposed to find. The tree hasn’t even been named yet. We just know that he located it, that he chose to go up. But no details on where or exactly when that was. There were… stories about this new world tree for a long time before Agent Kitten found it, from your own druids.”

“My personal druids?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to lump all the Night Elves together. But the druids that work in Ashenvale, tireslessly to save it from the Horde ravaging the land, ruining the forest, they have a pretty reliable oral tradition that says there is another world tree growing right on the border between Ashenvale and the Barrens. Do you know how important such a stronghold could become? The raw power of a world tree itself—if we could find it, and fortify it, your people might be safe from the Horde, forever.”

“How can anyone be safe from the Horde forever? Not unless the Horde is neutralized. Is that how you see it? There are plans in this file outlining a full scale assault on the Barrens, extending as far as the Crossroads. And once you control that, it’s not long till Orgrimmar is in a pincer, with Alliance forces on both sides.”

“There go those dangerous Horde leanings again—”

“Did it ever occur to you that peace might be an option? Respecting the Horde’s side of things, while they respect ours? Perhaps a trade agreement so that they cull the right trees and not the wrong ones? Their people need to eat and survive too, you know. And that’s harsh land they took on, in that part of Kalimdor.”

Mathias let out a low whistle, that I could not be more wrong.

I insisted, “And don’t look at me like that, kingdoms have shared borders before. Just look at Ironforge, you know the Dwarf lands? Stormwind and the Dwarves get along fine.”

“I’ve been told the Night Elves, you younger ones, are bound to have these upside down world views.”

“With respect. I am three hundred years old, sir.”

“And you act like you’re twenty. Like the conflicts these past few decades didn’t happen to you, personally, at all. Like you aren’t affected. The Horde is not a sovereign kingdom, Sharpen. It is a mess. It is an invading army that came to Azeroth to destroy life and civilization on this planet for the Burning Legion, reduce it to rubble no different from Outland, or Argus. The Horde did not manage it because the Alliance stood up to them. End of story. And don’t tell me things have changed since Thrall or Vol’jin or damn her—Sylvanas! As if Garrosh wasn’t the big tip off, and you talk about ethics not being present.” Mathias raised his voice at me, he was so frustrated, “We are life and they are death! Do you understand me, Agent Sharpen?”

“And do you understand that if I do take this assignment, I’m not killing any Horde unless I have to. I’m not killing anyone unless I need to.”

“If you go to the last page, you’ll see we’ve actually asked you for the same. We don’t want you to engage any Horde at all if you can help it. We don’t want them finding a world tree of all things. A death that doesn’t look natural gets investigated and then that will, in time, blow our cover. It could take years to gain control of that tree, and we don’t need a bunch of evidence piling up that it exists and the Alliance wants it that badly, in the meantime.”

I read that part, pinned to the end with a paperclip like it was an after thought. ‘No Horde deaths, no Horde engagement’ it said.

Mathias was very impatient now that he knew I’d read it all. “…Well?”

I told him, “I would come home successful, because I would. I’d find this lost feral druid and then the Alliance would take over that World Tree. And then you would use it to cut off the rest of the Barrens, cut off the Tauren from the Orcs finally. Right?”

“What comes next really is up to King Anduin.”

“But you’ll be in his ear like a buzzing hornet, and he’d have to do what you insist is the best way to ‘neutralize the threat’.”

“Look, Sharpen. I don’t see what the problem is? You’re a soldier for the Alliance. You’ve killed Horde before. You know that it’s essential.”

“In a war, in a battle. I say, we could also use this new world tree to prevent more death and suffering. To end conflicts.”

“So you say.”

“World trees are not about destroying. You want it so badly, but you don’t know the first thing about it.”

“You’re wrong. Do I need to state the obvious?” Mathias meant our tree. Our beloved Teldrassil that was lost. He leaned in, his leather gear creaked, “And what do you think the Horde would do, under Warchief Sylvanas, if they found a second world tree so close to their doorstep?”

“More emotional blackmail? That’s incredibly low, considering we Kaldorei never had enough support from the Alliance in Ashenvale in the first place!”

“It isn’t that, Agent Sharpen. But I do want you to see, somewhere between your values and mine, your world where people can play nice with monsters—you’re a hunter, maybe that’s where it comes from? Or perhaps it was because practically your entire family was down near Suramar of all places when Teldrassil was attacked. Which I always found interesting considering your sister’s intelligence work. And your family’s assassin “friend” Alessandre…”

“Don’t go there. Don’t you dare. I faced extinction along with the rest of my people on that day.”

“All I want you to see is that you don’t have a choice, Agent Sharpen. You must get to that world tree first before the Horde does, however King Anduin decides to handle things.”

I crossed my arms, “I also wonder why Tyrande, who has led our people since the beginning and is a walking agent of good, has been for thousands of years, now has to listen to the counsel of a boy Anduin’s age. Or any Human’s age.” I did have a point. Mathias let me have that. “I want the findings shared with Malfurion and Tyrande first, before anything goes to Anduin.”

“No, Sharpen. I can’t promise you that.”

“And you can’t trust that I won’t do it myself, in that case, considering my family connections. It’s amazing you’re not going through Darnassus to start with.” I tossed the file back to him, let some of the papers fly out. One whipped up into his face. I had pretty good aim, I was proud. “Those are my terms, Mathias Shaw.” Then, I thought better of it, “When I am done, I will deliver my mission report in a meeting with King Anduin and Tyrande and Malfurion, all of them in the same room. In Stormwind Keep.”

Mathias shrugged, looked elsewhere. “If I can pull them all together and their schedules are free.”

“For a new world tree? Now who’s playing dumb.”

Mathias scrunched his face up, as he fit all the papers back into the blue file with gold Darnassian lettering. “Fine. You and I don’t need to agree, Sharpen. You just need to be able to take orders. And, it’d raise the profile of this effort anyway, to do an official handover. You have a deal.” Mathias offered his hand to shake.

“I’ll see you in Stormwind when this is all done, then. I’ll hand over Agent… Kitten, then.”

I admit I grinned like a clever cat, myself.

#operation-kitten #stories #si7-seals

5 notes · View notes

sortofcaffeinateddoodles · 5 years ago

Photo

WHO WANTS TO SEE A SUPER CRINGE-Y AU I CAME UP WITH WHEN I WAS LIKE 13/14 BUT WAS TOO SHY ABOUT MY NON-EXISTENT ARTIST ABILITIES TO POST ANYTHING ABOUT?? well to bad you're gonna see it anyway : P I was going though some old notebooks, trying to figure out what to keep and toss, because my closest was becoming a maze and I found doodles about this AU. So I decided I should try and redraw it all. But this is more of a "reboot" to the original version.

Perry

Species:

Platypus

Special talent:

No But Seriously Shapeshifting, Multilingual, pretty much immortal i'll talk more about that at a later date

Occupation: Former Bounty Hunter, but does more "legal" odd jobs now

Nickname Perry's too boring for those, but he does let his friends get away with calling him a dumb ass from time to time

Personality:e(s) Stubborn, Reserved, worrywart, softie for his kid

Relationships: He has no romantic relation, but Perry does look after Phineas, with the a little help from his other animal companions. He has an odd relationship with Doof though! Kinda like how they act in the show, but with less fist fighting and more bickering. Will fight Peter the Panda on sight. Don't test him.

Special Facts: Hates when anyone else sings around him, but never complains when Phineas or Doof get into musical numbers. Constantly stealing sweets, and dumb magazines from Doof. But usually replaces it with something of equal or more value. One time he raided the poor mans fridge, and the next day Doof found an gold necklace thrown lazily near one his flowerpots. Doof didn't want it, but Vanessa loved wearing it. When he wants to get out of a conversation, Perry will shapeshift into another animal and just leave. "sorry can't talk doof, i'm a horse now" "perry the platypus are you serious right now? You cant just leave in the midd-" "ah ah ah! i'm a horse."

Phineas

Species: Alary

Special talent: Singing and Dancing. Can fixing almost anything. Toaster always catch on fire for some reason. Loves exploring, and always finds something new. But please for the love of god, watch him. He will climb a tree and get stuck. Heights scare him to much.

Nickname Phinny, Phin, Cheerio and Puggle

Personality:e(s) Optimistic, curious, hyper Relationships: Phineas has had Perry taking care of him since he was baby. He was too young to remember what his parents look like, all he knows is that Perry found him in the Enchanted Woods one day.

Special Facts: This Phineas is a bit more shy around kids his own age. Having grown up around talking animals will mess up a kids social skills. Phineas has never met another Alary in his life, but has always secretly wanted too. Doesn't know how to fly, but he's trying his best!

Ferbs "Ferb" Fletcher

Species: Beast

Special talent: Can fix up anything you put in front of him. Likes to read, and secretly writes his own short stories. Nickname None. But Buford calls him "skinny jeans" when he's trying to get a reaction out of him

Personality:e(s) Quiet, short tempered when annoyed, blunt, can be patient with younger kids

Relationships: Doesn't have many friends, but he hangs out with Buford the most. Also has a crush on Vanessa, but due to the age difference doesn't act on it.

Special: Ferb lives with his father and grandparents. His cousins live in the same neighborhood as him, their family having moved to Danville when he was a baby. Only reason Ferb acts so serious is because when he isn't hanging around Buford he's with Vanessa and her friends. Who all fit into the mean teenager stereotype.

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro

Species: Alary

Special talent: Since Isabella doesn't grow up with Phineas and Ferb, her summer days are spent at the Fireside cabin. Isabella has earned every patch there is to offer, and now is skilled in almost anything. It's honestly kinda scary.

Occupation: Does a bit of baby sitting. Helps at her family restaurant Nickname Isa, Pinkie(Buford), heart-string

Personality:e(s) Sweet, Assertive, Romantic Relationships: Isabella spends most of her free time around the other Fireside Girls, but also spends her days hanging out with her next door neighbor. Baljeet. The two are close having grown up together, and she even considers him to be like a little brother.

Special Fact: Isabella may have been able to gain every patch there is to offer, but if there is one thing she struggles with, its magic. Isabella is considered a sweet girl, but every Saturday night she sneaks out to the town square to listen to the people playing music and dancing. Though since she can't risk getting caught, she never joins in on the dancing, even if there are other kids out to.

Baljeet Tjinder

Species: Alary

Special talent: Can finish reading any book in an hour, no matter the size. Has photogenic memory, and will bring up old crap from 6 months ago so don't try and get on his bad side.

Occupation: Helps tutor kids at school for extra credit.

Nickname Nerd, but only Buford call him that.

Personality:e(s) Nervous, shy, prideful

Relationships: Only friend he has is Isabella. Him and Buford don't really interact outside of school.

Special Fact: Specializes in water type magic, but Baleet hopes to master fire type magic. Bajeet just really wants to specialize in all types of magic.

Buford Van Stoorm

Species: Beast

Special talent: Buford likes playing the drums at the Saturday Festivals.

Nickname No nicknames for The Buf'. he'll hurt you.

Personality:e(s) This version is 10x more violent than cannon Buford. He used to just make you cry, but now he'll make your momma cry, yo daddy cry, yo grandma, even your dog. Nothings off limit.

Relationships: Buford hangs around other sketchy kids. The only person who he enjoys spending time with is Ferb. Special Fact: Loves graffiti art, and has been caught a million times spray painting walls.

Canadace Flynn Garcia-Shapiro

Species: Alary

Special talent: Singing, can master almost any instrument in a day.

Occupation: Studying to become a music teacher, but helps at her families restaurant.

Nickname Candy

Personality:e(s) Focused, cynical

Relationships: Candace is still friends with Stacy, and his dating Jeremy. Was adopted into the Garcia-Shapiro household at 9/10 years old. Any special facts about Candace would be too spoiler y

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to the sketch Version Here goes the colored version to my AU. I'm not too happy with Isabella's color palette so I might be changing it later, but for now deal with the pink okay. Originally Candace had a type of mesh robe, and she still does! But for simplicity I'll just be drawing her base outfit, Her robe is too complicated anyway, it is supposed to be covered in red roses. Also tell me if I should keep Phineas' hair curly. My sister looked over at what I was doing and straight up said it looked ugly. So yeah, I need an honest second opinion. The bio's are super basic because I really don't want to give away too much of the story. And most of the story revolves around how the kids think and act. AU (c) Me

#phineas and ferb #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #Isabella Garcia Shapiro #baljeet tjinder #buford van stomm #canadce flynn #perry the platypus #au #fanart #sortofcaffeinateddoodles

27 notes · View notes

fierte-verte · 4 years ago

Text

HP Next Generation (Part 2)

Albus Potter

* slytherin!

* thoughtful and self-conscious, albeit being the quietest of his cousins

* basically harry in slytherin, not that he’d ever admit it

* very in tune with his senses, therefore nothing really escapes him

* a good schemer who gets ahold of everyone’s secrets, and will demand favors in return for keeping them

* “sometimes i wonder if you’re too smart for your own good”

* top of his transfigurations and potions class; is also a great dueller

* “wow, you could make a neat auror”

* complicated relationship with cousin rose, whom he simultaenously finds himself loathing and being impressed of

* is very much smitten with his gorgeous, brilliant best friend scorpius

* “listen, this is quite simple—whatever scorp wants, i provide”

* your greatest ally, in each and every sense

* feared to be an unstoppable force once he grows out of his passive shell

* may sometimes value success too much; also needs to work on his communication skills urgently

* can and will sass future father-in-law draco malfoy

* “it’s pot-ter not pot-tah”

Scorpius Malfoy

* slytherin!

* has six thousand quirks and every single of them will surprise you

* living proof of empathy; feels very deeply but provoke him and you’ll get a taste of old draco

* “so you’re saying i’m wrong pottah”

* crafty when required to be, which is quite often

* love-hate relationship with his name, because scorpius

* “it sounds uncool, you know, in a cool way”

* breezes through herbology; often surprises professor longbottom with his gentleness

* unironically finds mandrakes to be cute—don’t ask

* “listen to those screeches, so bloody adorable”

* a prefect and is proud of it

* cannot stand the sight of blood and will literally faint at brutal quidditch matches

* becomes the ultimate teaser when he’s around albus

* “careful there, you’re blushing hard”

* will be extremely pessimistic when discouraged and does not fare well in the face of harsh criticism

* “they just don’t know how amazing you are”

Rose Granger-Weasley

* gryffindor!

* if “clicking your tongue” was a person

* an even tougher version of her mother—make what you will of that

* “i’ll say rosie, you frighten me sometimes”

* extremely bright and lives off her ability to infuriate albus for that

* will frown at the bad decisions her cousins make before joining in

* “that makes no sense, but i might as well do it”

* looks up to her mum and aunt ginny as role models

* has the prettiest laugh and shockingly loves lame jokes

* doesn’t make prefect but, counting her other ten thousand obligations, is not too fazed about it

* is intrigued by divination, unlike her mum

* plays chaser for the gryffindor team, mentored by the one and only cousin fred

* will sacrifice teamwork to get the job done, which can be off-putting at times

* “relax darling, your face is all scrunched up”

Roxanne Weasley

* gryffindor!

* cheerful witch whose smile can rival the sun

* is extremely clumsy, but she’s cute while doing it so people let her off the hook

* shares a healthy amount of her mother’s zeal, including being a hopeless romantic

* has the habit of being infatuated with every cute person she meets

* although her crush on dean thomas’ boy has miraculously endured since first year

* “did you see those eyes? catch me while i swoon”

* can never resist an impromptu dance party or sleepover

* finds herself enjoying muggle studies a lot

* is a talented cook who has a passion for experimenting with recipes; thus, all the house elves love her

* revels in playing cupid for her friends and cousins

* “i can feel it, he’s the one for you lily”

* no doubt the biggest supporter of albus and scorpius’ relationship

* tends to blurt out her thoughts at the wrong time—definitely can use a bit of sensitivity

* “why’s everyone so quiet? was it something i said?”

Lily Potter

* gryffindor!

* put in the simplest of ways—just a feisty, independent paprika

* will scowl at anyone who calls her short, so don’t

* handles sadness with sarcasm, mild self-deprecation, and more sarcasm; thinks crying is a waste of water

* “bleh, tears are for fools”

* knows how to push others to exceed their own expectations and will gladly do so

* feels indifferent towards authority and never gives a damn about prefects

* prefers to hang out with slytherins for “unknown reasons”

* “they don’t take crap—i like them”

* shares a dorm with cormac mclaggen’s daughter and really hates it

* certified transfiguration whizz and flying champ

* plays chaser alongside cousin rose; is often inspired by her mum’s time as a holy harpy

* “hah, the magpies can kiss their trophy goodbyel”

* threatens to disown her brothers at any given moment, yet is always the first to get them out of trouble

* can be impatient with people if they don’t deliver what she expects

“hurry up and get on with it

you bumbling baboon

”

Hugo Granger-Weasley

* hufflepuff!

* caring and considerate, has the biggest heart ever

* is the best friend everyone wants but doesn’t deserve

* seems like a pushover, is actually far from it; he knows when to stand up for himself

* “i’ll die before touching a spider. or slug. especially the slug.”

* gives hugs that feel like hot chocolate and a thick blanket

* adores ron and will pick his dad over anything

* almost got killed once when he called his mother mental—big, big mistake

* only ever gets aggresive over wizard chess, which he’s incredibly good at

* the rare one of the weasley bunch to be interested in history of magic

* constantly looks forward to showing cousin louis his chocolate frog card collection

* will blast the weird sisters in his dorm each morning with no remorse

* “you’ve got to be kidding me, weasley. it’s six!”

* overuses the word bloody a lot, especially if it concerns matters of food

* “what could possibly be more important than bloody eating?”

#harry potter #hp headcanon #head canon #next gen #hp #hp request #teddy lupin #albus potter #hp next gen #james potter #lily potter #rose weasley #hugo weasley

10 notes · View notes

brunhiddensmusings · 5 years ago

Text

random movies/shows i just remembered were a thing

there is no point in any of this other then me being impressed that i remember all of this shit and reflecting on ‘i couldnt make this up if i tried’ a live action tv series of alice in wonderland, it was violently 80s an ‘alf’ cartoon series, that was MORE violently 80s an alice in wonderland cartoon series from the makers of the alf cartoon series which was only moderately 80s neverending story animated series that is somehow underwhelming enough it erases memory of itself a show where james earl jones sits in some kind of negative plane room that has a floor, doors, windows, a chair, and one lamp yet somehow no walls, the windows just kind of hover there. he told stories. how the hell did a show where james earl jones just tells soothing stories fly under everyone's radar? a live action reading comprehension series that featured a kid with magic gloves that rode a stationary bycicle to warp through dimensions that im sure no other human being ever saw so im partially thinking it might have been a hallucination except hallucinations typically have higher production values an animated glowworm movie that was trying to do with the glowworm dolls what MLP the show did for MLP the toys. it contained at least one song i can still remember the tune of 25 years later. there was a moleperson that gave off strong lesbian vibes who was rebelling against her biker vibe moleperson family an animated movie about ‘the lollipop dragon’ that seemed like there was other content on the intellectual property but ive never seen any, taking the form of a car race through whats essentially candyland to prevent liver and onion flavored lollipops being the new official christmas candy to be distributed by santa clause live action series that was only ever on at like 4AM where someone tells fairy tales that are slightly more disturbing then they should be while illustrating them in chalk which is one hell of a trick the animated series ‘mummies alive’ that was trying to basically copy/paste everything they could from the ‘gargoyles’ show but forgot to make it good not to be confused with the ‘tutenstein’ show, which somehow made less sense ‘dink the dinosaur’ a tv series hoping nobody noticed it wasn't actually land before time the animated series a live action series where a modern family was trapped somewhere that was a dinosaur infested jungle so they had to live in a tree house that was only just barely taller then the t-rex that was continually stalking them. the moon had claw marks on it i think? it was basically swiss family robinson but early 90s animated movie ‘the elm chanted forest’ that im more just baffled my parents were able to acquire something that obscure in their pirated vhs collection, i cant think of a possible reason anyone in my family would ever have been in the same room as a copy of this. like damned i havent even seen any of the youtubers that rate obscure bizzare movies even mention this fever dream. the highlight was probably when the talking mushrooms started breakdancing in a impressively racist manner like damned you raised the bar on racist cartoons somehow for about two minutes in an otherwise completely inoffensive movie from i think croatia. seriously its the best part, even better then when the cactus king summons his sapient weapon minions and engages his ferris wheel of doom to kill all the beavers

the animated series ‘superdave’ about a daredevil who gets repeatedly maimed, and repeatedly framed it as though he was a real person in the way jackie chan adventures does the animated series ‘wish kid’ where macully culkin aged 9 is granted basically fairy odd parents style wish abilities from a baseball glove. gilbert godfried its there, constantly, like hes almost there as much as the kid is holy crap i forgot the tazmanian devil got his own show for like five months yall remember when the ps1 first launched? when the game cases were strangely huge for no particular reason because they hadnt adopted the jewel cases yet and there were only like seven games available for the system and none of them even knew how to incorporate memory cards? ‘blazing dragons’ was a point and click adventure game that happened to be one of those seven games, eric idle was one of the people who made the game yet ive never met anyone who remembers playing the game or even hearing anything about it. yeah, this game had an animated series.... it was surprisingly witty in a were not even trying to make sense way that was purposefully avoiding explaining its world live action series ‘zoobalie zoo’ where people in the worst fursuits known to man just kind of exist in an almost entirely empty set where a handfull of circus cage wagons that i assume were their homes were the only structures outside of like two cardboard bushes why the hell was ‘mighty max’ not a cultural icon the way invader zim was, that show rocked so hard ‘the robonic stooges’ where the 3 stooges are robots jhon candy had an animated series where he played himself as a camp counselor. it.... kinda worked almost, blending the generic 80s camp movie ‘bad land developer’ formula with self aware complaints. it only stank a little the animated ‘happy days’ spinoff where they have a time traveling spaceship

not to be confused with the one where the partridge family lives in the year 3000, or when casper the ghost lives in space.... im beginning to see a trend here ‘starship troopers’ the CG series where surprisingly nobody ever died an animated series about a green rabbit on a spaceship that i only recently learned also was not a fever dream from when i was 8. all images i see of it only convince me more that im still hallucinating its existance i cant rmember the name of it but a live action series about aliens living on earth, all the adults have actual costumes to disguise themselves as humans but the baby, who is apperantly the ruler of the universe, is a disturbing pink puppet. also they have magic powers instead of technology and the theme song was ‘wishing on a star’. memories of this show still occasionally haunt me but it was still better then charles in charge just on novelty value there was a ‘jhonny quest’ reboot that aged him up and incorporated CG for a kind of cyberspace setting for the sole purpose they had a villian that was a quadrapallegic but could do things in the cyberspace setting, yet really nobody should have cared because the cyberspace setting wasnt connected to any real world imput devices so he was just the main boss of his own videogame why are you picking on this man. they were foggy on if haji actually had magic powers or just really hardcore yoga skills, and one fanatical zealot villian who basically escaped from the place they keep the well written batman antagonists you remember the ‘the way things work’ book? it had illustrations on every concept of physics and mechanical processes that used mammoths to explain everything from the screw to the lever to sewing machines to integrated circuits. yeah, it had an animated tv series .....somehow not to be confused with ‘cro’, an animated series about a mammoth that was frozen, thawed in the late 80s, was able to talk, and was a framing device for his stories of a weirdly sexily drawn caveman teen that invented all technology

it was basically ‘the croods’ but better and 30 years earlier a live action series based on ‘harry and the hendersons’.... im surprised they could create enough material for one full episode like seriously where do you go from there? its surprisingly hard to think of a story for ‘were a modern 80s family who has bigfoot as a roomate’ an animated series where a basketball player, baseball player, and hockey player are secretly superheroes. there was also a hardcore badass old lady who did most of the work. wayne gretszky was the one nobody respected the pocket dragons had a show. yes, a show based on collectable porcelain figurines that were marketed for their cute value on home shopping network CG series ‘vanpires’, yes it was about sapient cars that were vampires and actual live children who turned into cars that were vampires. that is all oh yeah, there was a back to the future animated series, i thought i repressed that better speaking of repressed memories, i cannot escape the knowledge that ‘super duper sumos’ and ‘mega babies’ existed, booze cannot erase this knowledge

38 notes · View notes

dharc16 · 5 years ago

Text

Hey there my fellow Christian Witches

Here is something I’d like to share with you, fellow pagan witches and wiccans, if you find this interesting or at least intriguing, please take it into consideration.

Six Mistakes New Witches Make

Witchcraft is not easy.

Personally, I think the biggest mistake is thinking that it is. Not in a rocket science kind of way, but difficult in the way that cooking is difficult, and vastly underestimated as well. It's complicated, it cannot be learned solely through books, and sometimes stuff goes wrong when it worked fine the fifteen times you did it before.

I don't say that witchcraft is difficult to frighten you, but to empower you. Going into something you think is easy unprepared is the quickest way to land yourself on your ass. Approach your opponent or situation with respect and sense, and you'll get much further regardless of your abilities. But there are a few mistakes that I see over and over – and have made myself. Once I stopped doing these things, my skill – and therefore results – improved dramatically

The Most Common Mistakes New Witches Make...

BELIEVING THAT SOMETHING IS TRUE JUST BECAUSE IT'S IN A BOOK

Books are not the font of all wisdom. Not only can they be misleading or inaccurate, but they can be outright lies instead. Especially when it comes to religious or spiritual beliefs where you don't have to back up your claims to get big deals with publishers. I'm no book burner, but there are some books out there that you should steer clear from. Sometimes because the information contained in them is false, whether by inaccuracy or deliberate bullshit.

There are also some books which have some crap information in them, but also have some things worth reading. There are also some books that you may want to pick up at a library since the author is less than polite to certain people, but had some good things to say about certain aspects of witchcraft. You might want to avoid these books entirely, on principle. That's up to you.

You may also want to read everything to make up your own mind – and I applaud that. The reason why I may nudge newcomers away from certain books or authors is purely because of the pervasive idea in a literate society that just because something has two covers and spine means it's true, correct, or moral. It does not. Read what you want, but read it with a pinch of salt. Check facts across different authors. Read book reviews, and talk to other witches (or followers of whichever spiritual path) online, or in-person.

OVERLOOKING LOCAL RESOURCES IN FAVOR OF FANCY TOOLS

It's usually far cheaper to use local resources. You should cleanse whatever you purchase anyway, whether you purchase you candle for $1 at a dollar store or $8 at a metaphysical shop.

There is no plant or rock or thing on Earth that doesn't hold some magical value. The ones that are most commonly used for magic are commonly used because they are easy to use, widely available, offer perhaps more power, or yes, because it's easier for someone to make money from them. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that just because everyone else is using it, means you have to. Dragon's blood too expensive? Find a local alternative. Can't get local lavender? Something growing in your neighbour's hedge might do the same thing.

Get yourself a field guide and start working out what does what. Loads of online groups will help you with identifying the magical uses of most plants and rocks, and you can fill in the blanks buy dialing backwards from what the plant actually does naturally. Sweet smelling flowers will bring affection. Thorny plants will cause harm or bring protection. You'll also get the benefit of connecting with the environment you’re part of.

NOT RESPECTING THE BASICS

Shield. Ground. Center. Cleanse.

However you do them, whatever you call them, don't skimp on the basics. Make sure you are physically and spiritually clean, that you are protected, that you have your feet on the ground and that you sit within yourself, balanced. The basics might be boring, but they're essential. TRUST ME, I’ve found out the hard way on this one.

NOT TAKING NOTES

If I could only choose one mistake on this list that I wish I never made, it would be this. Take notes of EVERYTHING you do – ESPECIALLY when you do it for the first time. Even if you're throwing together a quick money spell – what did you do, and when? What was happening in your life – how were your emotions? Were you ill? What were the planets doing? What ingredients did you use?

Having a good record will not only mean you don't forget what spells you've done, it also means that you won't work against yourself. It means that you won't forget you did a love spell four years ago that you never actually dispelled … and you won't spend months wondering why certain things aren't going to plan. It also means you know what spells did or did not work, and you can easily start picking out WHY. Did your protection spells fail when you used bramble from a certain area? Well, now you know and you can switch it up.

WISHING INSTEAD OF WITCHING

Wishes are magic – but they're unspecified, and rarely work. Make sure that you use specific timeframes and requests, and that you back yourself up with power gained from other sources where you can. Make sure that your plants and rocks aren't countering each other. Open and close your ritual space, if that's a thing you do, and call upon whoever you think may help.

Perform spells, don't daydream about what you'd do better. Even spells done purely with the mind – manifesting, to give it another name – work better when you do it correctly. Give magic the respect that it deserves – you don't throw uncooked carrots into a stew and expect it to taste nice, right?

NOT WORKING CHRISTIANITY INTO YOUR MAGIC

This is an easy one as a Christian Witch. There is endless information on spells and other witchiness out there, but as Christians we have the added benefit of our faith! We can sometimes forget that this can be our greater source of power. It’s super-empowering to adapt the myriad of spells we find into our craft, but don’t forget to intertwine your faith into your craft! I try to mesh prayer, psalms, etc. into every bit of magic that I can. When you do, you increase your power exponentially, all the while getting deeper in touch with and increasing your faith!

Inspired by an article from Siobhan Johnson.

#male witch #christian witch #witchcraft #magick #witches #magic

14 notes · View notes