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#how many times did I say 'more' in this post...
heartorbit · 2 days
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
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driverlando · 2 days
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✧.* PR ISSUE
synopsis - all the times y/n has been horny on main for Max
before you continue: the max version is finally here!! I’m honestly running out of ways to say Pr nightmare lmao. anyways if you enjoyed pls reblog and give me a follow!! it’s much appreciated <3
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maxverstappenfan
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liked by yourusername and 17,536 others
maxverstappenfan no thoughts, just boxer Max on my mind
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user1 our multitalented king 👑
user2 he should think of becoming a model
↳ user3 RIGHT?
yourusername PUNCH ME IN THE FACE DADDY @/maxverstappen1
↳ maxverstappenfan Ariana what are you doing here? 🤣
user4 THE MUSCLES!! I REPEAT THE MUSCLES
yourusername guys shall I ask him to wear sleeveless tops more often? 🫡
↳ user3 YES PLEASE YES!
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maxverstappen1
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liked by oscarpiastri, virgilvandijk and 679,907 others
maxverstappen1 3 🏆
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user5 CONGRATS 🫶
verstappencom ⭐️⭐️⭐️
yourusername THATS MY MAN!!!
↳ user6 con😭grats😭
user7 hopefully many more to come 🙌
yourusername like he’s so talented, I’m wet fr
↳ maxverstappen1 I know how to help with that
↳ user8 THEYRE ACTUALLY INSANE
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maxverstappenfans
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liked by yourusername and 15,782 others
maxverstappenfans sweaty max 👀
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user9 you’re going to summon y/n with this post 😂
user10 THE LIP BITE IN THE FIRST PIC OH LORD 😮‍💨
yourusername my favourite kind of max 😏
↳ user9 I knew I’d find you here
user11 I just shrieked at the top of my lungs
↳ yourusername same babe. so did I
user12 how can one be so effortlessly beautiful?
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maxverstappen1updates
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liked by yourusername, user2 and 16,738 others
maxverstappen1updates max recently!
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user13 THICK THIGHS SAVE LIVES!!
yourusername save a horse, ride a cowboy
↳ user14 PREACH 🙌
user15 can I take a seat?
↳ yourusername sorry love, it’s taken
user16 side profile goes crazy
user17 where was this?
yourusername gnawing at the bars of my enclosure 😵‍💫😵‍💫
↳ user18 the enclosure Red Bull put you in? 😂
bonus - someone checks Y/N’s Twitter likes
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taglist: @iheartmonaco @orgasming-caterpillar @ilivbullyingjeongin @thearchieves
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pastanest · 3 days
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Spencer Reid x she/her!reader
A/N: me posting twice in the same month?? someone do a welfare check
warning: age gap mentioned (bc I’m a slut) but not extensively or in a weird way bc Spencer’s not a pervert lol
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Moth To A Flame
Closing the bathroom door with your own back, you slide down it until you’re sitting on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest and taking a shaky breath. You shouldn’t call him while crying, you know better than that, but you know your own tells enough to hope you can mask them; a futile effort considering who you intend to call at 3am.
Lifting your phone to your ear, you hear it ring no more than twice before your prayers are answered, and you breathe a sigh of relief.
“Hey, Spencer.” You greet him quietly, smiling from just saying his name.
“Hi, sunshine. How are you?” Spencer’s voice is calm and collected, but it’s clear through the phone he’s delighted to hear from you.
There’s no question raised regarding the time at which you’re calling. But no matter how many times this happens, Spencer always enquires after your wellbeing.
“I’m okay, thank you. Just…you know. How are you?” The question is returned, though neither of you are a fan of small talk.
“Yes,” Spencer responds specifically to the insinuation he knows, because he does. Then, he continues, “-I’m well, too, thank you.”
His words, and what goes left unsaid, makes your smile grow.
“What’re you reading?” You ask, and the quiet chuckle you hear from Spencer is enough to prove you right in your assumption of his reason for being awake at this hour.
“Pride And Prejudice. How did you know I was reading?” He wonders aloud with a fondness in his voice that he reserves only for you.
“When aren’t you reading?” You roll your eyes playfully, and Spencer can practically hear it.
“When I’m sleeping.” He quips, his own smile evident in his voice.
It’s enough to have you laughing softly into the phone, which only serves to make Spencer’s smile grow.
“Read me some?” You request quietly.
Like you ever need to ask.
Spencer clears his throat into the phone.
“After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began, ‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness…” Spencer reads aloud, and the smile on your face is almost as soft as his voice sounds through the phone.
By the end of the chapter, your eyes have drifted closed and your head is tipped back against the bathroom door behind you. Hearing how calm your breathing has become, Spencer pauses, and you hear him close the book.
“See you in the morning?” He always asks because on the rare chance you’ll say no, at least he has time to mentally prepare for your absence. Tonight is not the night for that.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow…Thank you.” You reply, already feeling close to sleep.
This stumps Spencer momentarily, and he falters before he replies, “For what?”
And there’s only one thing you can say to that.
“Being you.”
Spencer chuckles sheepishly, “I don’t know how to be anyone else.”
Of course he doesn’t. Perhaps, if he was anyone else, you’d stand a chance.
“Goodnight, Spencer.” You tell him gently.
“Goodnight, sunshine.” There’s a second of warm silence as you savor the sound of each other’s quiet breathing, and then you both hang up the call.
Standing up from where you’d been sitting on the bathroom floor, you take another deep breath before reaching for the door handle. Walking through a house that isn’t yours, into a living room where the sound of snoring from the couch makes you want to tear your hair out, past a kitchen where a cheap measly pile of four red roses lie limp on the counter with a post-it note in place of any kind of meaningful card, up the staircase where framed photographs filled with eyes that aren’t on your side stare down at you judgmentally, until you’re safely confined in the bedroom you feel doomed to. Crawling into your side of the bed, you adjust the pillows that occupy the other side, filling the space in a shape long enough to resemble the shape of someone under your bedcovers. And with Spencer’s voice still in your ears wishing you a good night, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.
Meanwhile, Spencer adjusts his alarm clock to wake him an hour earlier than necessary, and awakens from a peaceful slumber with a determined mission in mind. Once his normal morning routine is complete, instead of driving to the office, he drives to his preferred florist, who greets him with a knowing smile when Spencer walks in.
“Another dozen?” The florist guesses.
“Please.” Spencer nods, smiling politely.
Retrieving his wallet from his back pocket, Spencer pays for the flowers and graciously thanks the florist, taking the flowers and then leaving the establishment to return to his car. He drives back home, placing the dozen flowers in a glass vase that he keeps pristine for this very purpose, with the perfect level of water for optimal growth for this specific species of flower. Very carefully, Spencer inspects them until he determines which has the prettiest bloom today, and that is the one he elects to remove from the vase, carefully securing its stem in seran wrap and placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket, then continuing on his normal journey into work.
Purposely, Spencer arrives earlier than the rest of the team, so that he can execute his plan without interruptions. From the staff kitchen, he chooses the most elegant looking glass he can find and again pours the perfect level of water - this time for just one flower, specifically - unwrapping the single bloom in his suit jacket and setting in the glass. He then walks to your desk and positions it in an aesthetically pleasing location, but already knows it is not enough. The picture is not complete. It must be perfect for you. Briefly visiting his own desk, Spencer opens the drawer to take a piece of his own parchment paper, from which he cuts a small section that he then folds in half. On what appears to be the front of the folded piece, he maps out a constellation in a dot-to-dot sketch, then inside the fold of paper, he writes the story behind it. After several attempts, Spencer finds the perfect angle at which to place the folded piece of paper next to the flower on the desk, and only then does he return to his usual morning routine of making himself a coffee in the staff kitchen. Counting down the minutes.
By the time you get to the office, you’ve pushed the thoughts of your home from your mind and have a bright smile on your face, looking forward to a day spent working with your friends and not thinking about-
“(Y/N)! I just saw! He got you roses! That’s SO cute! You have, like, the best boyfriend!” Penelope squeals as she runs up to you the very second you walk through the glass doors of the bullpen.
Your heart sinks and your eyebrows furrow.
“You saw?”
Penelope nods excitedly, gesturing to her phone, where she shows you the post your boyfriend had made on social media: a picture he had taken of the four red roses he’d bought you that he filtered to high heaven to make them look more grand than they were, with a caption that said ‘happy four and many more, babe x’. If it weren’t for the sake of keeping your business private - something he clearly cares for about as much as he does you - you’d scoff.
“Oh, yeah. Must’ve missed that he posted that.” You plaster a smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, walking side by side with Penelope towards your desk.
“It was your four year anniversary, right? Did you do anything fancy?” She’s giddy on your behalf.
“No, just had a quiet night in.” You provide an excuse, the most generous blanket statement you could have given to the shambles that were your boyfriend’s anniversary plans.
Your dejectedness, however, is abruptly cut short when your gaze lands on your desk. A single bloom of your favorite flower, with a neatly folded handwritten note of a constellation placed next to it. In a microsecond, you’re turning to where Spencer sits at his desk, hiding his smirk behind his cup of coffee.
“You didn’t!” You feign chastisement, but your giddiness is obvious.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer shrugs, his smile as obvious as yours is.
You’re practically bouncing on the spot when you bring the little glass and the delicate flower within to your face to breathe in the sweet scent.
“These aren’t even in season anymore, Spencer, how did you-“
The question is cut short by a magician who never reveals his secrets.
“I played no part in this, but perhaps someone happens to know somebody else who is equipped to grow them on request.” There’s a teasing lilt to his otherwise matter-of-fact tone, and you are shaking your head in absolute disbelief.
Setting the glass back down on your desk, you pick up the constellation, admiring it carefully before folding it and placing it in your desk drawer, in amongst another 30-something hand drawn constellations. The smile is still lingering on your face when you sit down at your desk, and from where Spencer sits at his, his chest feels warm. So much joy from you at the cost of only an hour’s less sleep and a few more dollars than the asking price of your favorite flowers. Perhaps, tonight you won’t call him trying to hide that you’d been crying again, he hopes. Whether that comes to fruition or not, he has another eleven blooms waiting in his apartment to gift you at random intervals to surprise you and keep your tears at bay for as long as he can, without you ever telling him there was a chance of them falling. He knows.
For the rest of the day, Spencer catches you glancing at the flower on your desk while you work through various reports and paperwork, an almost shy smile lighting up your face every time you see it there.
It’s only when the team begins packing up for the day that Spencer thinks to look into what Penelope had referenced that morning- a post of some kind? Easily enough, Spencer finds your boyfriend’s social media on his computer, and what he discovers makes him borderline violent. Four years together, encompassed by four measly roses and what you called a ‘quiet night in’ that was so beyond underwhelming you ended your evening by calling Spencer from your bathroom. A celebration of that scale warranted only four red roses, while the mere hint you’d been crying was enough for Spencer to visit the florist he pays specifically to keep growing your favorite flowers for you, to buy another dozen that he intends to deliver to you one by one at irregular intervals. Still, it isn’t Spencer’s job to compensate for what is clearly absent from your relationship; at least, not consciously.
“Babe!” A voice calls out that has Spencer using every ounce of strength he possesses to withhold from rolling his eyes. Shutting down his computer, he stands from his desk just in time to see your expression fall where you pack away your things at your own desk.
Turning to face your boyfriend, you give him a tight-lipped smile.
“Hey, what’re you doing here?” You ask shortly.
Excellent question, Spencer thinks.
“Just came to surprise you and drive you home!” Your boyfriend exclaims like it’s some kind of achievement, opening his arms in a big gesture as he approaches your desk.
How considerate, ambushing you at your workplace under the guise of it being a nice surprise, Spencer scoffs internally, deliberately slowing the pace at which he readies his satchel to leave the office.
“Oh. Thanks.” You don’t know what else to say. “I’ll be ready in a second.” You add, feeling like you’re defaulting to basic lines of dialogue to avoid awkward silences.
“Great!” Your boyfriend exclaims, looking around the bullpen like he’s never seen the place before - he has, twice, and Spencer wishes his eidetic memory would allow him to erase the memory of your discomfort during both instances - until his eyes land on a face he recognises, and he grins.
“Spencer! My man!” Your boyfriend yells, and your eyes widen as you watch him walk right over to Spencer and pull him into a bro-hug that immediately has Spencer rigidly uncomfortable.
“I’ve told you-“ You implore, shooting Spencer an apologetic and pleading look before your boyfriend starts talking over you.
“Oh yeah! Sorry, man, forgot you’re weird about touching people.” He laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.
You scowl, parting your lips to bite his head off, but Spencer steps in to prevent you from saying something that’ll only cause more arguments for you when you go home.
“I have an acute awareness and disliking towards unfamiliar germs and contact.” Spencer corrects your boyfriend firmly, aware that only you and him realize what he means by a germ in this context.
“Yeah, man, no worries.” Your boyfriend laughs, like he’s the funniest man in the world to himself. “Ready to go, babe?” He asks you.
“Mhmm.” Another tight-lipped smile, and that’s apparently convincing enough for your boyfriend, who wraps an arm around your waist in a careless action rather than something that should be treasured, and would be treasured by the man you look over your shoulder to give one last apologetic expression to.
That is, until Emily steps out of her office and calls over to you, “Don’t forget about Rossi’s party!”
And you literally wince.
“A party?! Oh man! Can’t wait! Thanks, Emmers!” Your boyfriend answers for you, regarding a party you had deliberately neglected to mention to him, and then he’s all but dragging you out of the office.
Once out of earshot, Spencer actually does scoff.
“Emmers?” Emily asks him with a frown from where she stands on the raised walkway, leaning on the railing.
“A shocking breach of social etiquette to assume a nickname for someone he barely knows.” Spencer clarifies, to which Emily nods.
“You still not coming to Rossi’s tonight?” She elects to ask him, a smile curling at the corner of her mouth.
Spencer sighs heavily. He looks down at his desk, then lifts his head to look over at the elevator doors closing, snatching the view of you away. He knows what will happen tonight. He knows.
The mirror stares back at him. If someone told Spencer a year ago that he’d be attending a work related get together he’d initially rejected the invitation of but went back on himself solely in the hopes that his suit of choice would impress a coworker just over half his age who has a boyfriend, Spencer would have walked right out of prison and requested a psych eval. Still, the thought at the forefront of his mind is that 6 months and 8 days ago he had worn an all-black suit on a case that you had complimented. It is a foolish dream to think you would compliment him for it again, but for you, Doctor Spencer Reid is a proud fool.
Much to your own embarrassment, you and your boyfriend knock at Rossi’s door an hour late, and based on your expression it is not difficult for Spencer to deduce it’s not your fault. Or, it wouldn’t have been difficult if his brain hadn’t short-circuited at the sight of you wearing a thin strapped, floor length purple silk dress that hugged your every curve to the extent that when Spencer rose from his seat in a gentlemanly gesture at your entrance, his knees very nearly buckled beneath him to a position of worship. Your boyfriend’s arm is careless around your waist again, and he drops it not to pull your chair out for you at the table, but to bro-hug David Rossi, who looks at him like he spat in his bowl of pasta. In your disgruntled state, it takes you a second to acknowledge that Spencer is standing, and in between greeting the rest of the team, your eyes continually flit back to him, his heart skipping a beat each and every time in a way that only further convinces him he is in the midst of a medical emergency. Finally, your gaze lingers on him, and he doesn’t waste the opportunity.
“Can I get you a drink? Rossi’s minibar has some of your favorites.” Spencer gestures with the hand not holding his own drink, and without so much as looking to your plus one, you nod and walk around the table.
His large hand ghosts the small of your back, fingers flexing, but he doesn’t allow himself to make contact until he counts the microseconds to cross the distance that takes you both away from every other pair of eyes in this house. The heat of Spencer’s fingertips meet the purple silk of your dress, barely there, but oh, do you feel it.
Once safely standing at the minibar, Spencer only needs to watch your face to see which bottle your eyes light up at, and as soon as he notices, he pours you a glass without you having to ask. In a gesture that feels like a secret, the two of you clink your glasses together and lock eyes to take a simultaneous sip.
“Nice suit.” You nod at Spencer, a shy smile forming behind your glass.
“Thank you.” He tries not to choke on his drink, then nods back at you. “Pretty dress.”
You have to bite your lip to prevent your smile from growing any bigger.
“Thank you. The color reminded me of your scarf.” You remark quietly, and if you weren’t a profiler, you probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of Spencer’s eyes at your words.
“It is a similar shade.” He agrees, his heart in his throat.
Comfortable silence settles between you. Eyes locked, nursing your drinks, your free hands hanging idly at your sides. Standing just a little too close. Fingers almost touching.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” You say eventually.
Spencer shakes his head dismissively. “I appreciate it, but his oversights aren’t your responsibility.” Or your burden, he so badly wants to add.
You sigh. “If he overstepped the boundaries of a guy who was less of a man than you, he could’ve got his face caved in.”
And what a shame that would have been, Spencer muses in his own mind.
“I didn’t escalate the situation, but not because I’m a man- because it wasn’t a worthy cause.” He amends.
“So if there was a worthy cause, you’d have clocked him?” You giggle at the idea.
“Possibly.” Definitely, Spencer smirks.
“What constitutes a worthy cause in the mind of Doctor Spencer Reid?” You tease, tilting your head to look up at him with a curious twinkle in your eyes.
“If he made you cry.” Spencer chooses his words very carefully, and inspects every micro expression on your face in response.
Because your boyfriend has made you cry, you know that, and you know Spencer knows too, despite the fact you haven’t ever stated as such. He knows. All you’d have to do is say the word, and Spencer would walk right back into the dining room, grab your boyfriend by his collar in front of the entire team, drag him outside and beat him to a pulp in the street.
If Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of your eyes at his words.
“Babe! There you are! Rossi’s served us up a couple plates of something with a name I can’t pronounce- Spencer! Hey, man!” Your boyfriend’s agitating, grating voice cuts into the peaceful bubble you and Spencer had been existing in.
Sharing an equally irritated glance, you both turn to face him.
“Linguine alla Puttanesca.” Spencer drawls.
“Yeah, something like that, for sure!” Your boyfriend laughs, loudly, and without you saying a word, his arm is thrown around your waist again, stealing you from Spencer - who trails behind with a scowl fixed on your boyfriend’s arm - and returning to the dining room.
At the table, you sit opposite Spencer, with your boyfriend sitting on your left. You’re grateful for the casual conversation in the room taking his attention away from you for the most part, allowing you the peace of eating without him saying something that makes you want to vomit.
“Been thinking of getting some sleeping pills myself, not been sleeping too good on the couch!”
Nevermind.
Your eyes close in a pained blink, and you lift your napkin with an unnecessarily firm grip to wipe at your mouth.
“Oh. You’ve not got…comfy cushions?” Penelope tries to save the conversation, but the awkward silence has already descended upon the table at your boyfriend’s blatant overshading at your expense.
“Nope, barely been sleeping a wink! I miss my own bed, I’ll tell you that!” Your boyfriend laughs.
Setting your napkin down, you keep your gaze fixed on your half empty plate. You can feel eyes on you. Everywhere.
“A dinner party with your partner’s friends is not the social setting for discussing your relationship.” Spencer quips, releasing enough tension in your chest to allow you a breath.
“Don’t worry, bro, she doesn’t mind!” Your boyfriend nudges you with his arm, and you are rigid.
“Nobody at this table requires a profiling skillset to determine that (Y/N) does mind.” Spencer’s protective nature is bristling.
“Oh yeah, bet you profilers can just look and tell exactly what her problem is, huh?!” Your boyfriend laughs. “Go on, guess!” He demands of the table, like he’s prepping a joke with the greatest punchline in human history.
The table is silent. You close your eyes in a pained blink, begging any god that may exist, please, please-
“She won’t sleep with me!” Your boyfriend roars with laughter, and time slows to an agonizing halt.
The only accompanying sounds are cutlery clattering against plates, then two chairs scraping against the floor.
“That’s enough. Get out.” Rossi points at the door.
“With pleasure.” Spencer’s tone is cool as ice. In a fraction of a second, he rounds the table, grabs your boyfriend by his collar and drags him out of Rossi’s dining room, to the front door.
While the rest of the team crowd around you to check you’re okay, you’re shaking your hand and scrambling to stand, running outside. Spencer’s fists grip your boyfriend’s collar, pinning him to the side of his car.
“-and if I ever find you within a five mile radius of her, I’ll ruin your life without breaking a single law.” He seethes.
“She’s barely even my girlfriend, man, she doesn’t even put out! You can have her!” Your ex boyfriend holds his hands up in surrender while signing his own death warrant.
Spencer’s right hook sends him hurtling against the sidewalk, and Spencer is on him in the blink of an eye. Trapping him under his legs, Spencer delivers punch after punch, hearing bones crack with the force but only seeing red, until Rossi and Luke physically pull him off, and even then he tries to fight past them to carry on.
“Kid, kid, take a breath- you got him!” Rossi gently pats Spencer’s back, and with wide eyes like a deer in headlights, you appear in front of him.
“Spencer.” You breathe his name with an unnamed emotion, reaching up to cup his face in your hands, and his glazed over eyes that hadn’t been able to look anywhere but the bloody mess on sidewalk, find you in an instant.
Emily is already calling in some favors with the local police department to get this resolved with minimal assault charges, if possible.
“C’mon, inside.” You tell Spencer gently, taking one of his trembling, bloody hands in yours and guiding him back into Rossi’s house.
Taking him past the dining room, you find the kitchen and lead Spencer to lean against the empty counter beside the sink. Very carefully, you hold both of his hands under the cold water to wash them free of blood. It doesn’t take you long to realize the blood doesn’t just come from your ex-boyfriend. He’s running on adrenaline, breathing heavily, half watching you and half watching the doorway, as if expecting someone else to walk in that he has to take out to protect you.
Once his hands are as clean as you can get them, you retrieve some ice packs from Rossi’s freezer and hold them to Spencer’s swollen, bloody knuckles. You can’t look away from them.
“Are you in any pain yet?” You ask in a small voice.
“None.” Spencer answers sharply, gaze fixed on the doorway now because he can keep you in his peripheral vision, mind locked in fight or flight mode with an obvious winner.
“This is all my fault, Spencer, I’m so sorry- if I’d have broken up with him…” Your forehead drops to Spencer’s chest, pressing against the fabric of his black tie.
Those words catch him so off guard that he falters, and then frowns.
“None of this is in any way your fault.” Spencer states bluntly.
“If I’d broken up with him already, he wouldn’t have been here, wouldn’t have said those things in front of y- Spencer!” You cut yourself off when your reminder of what your ex had said has Spencer trying to move past you to go back outside and start right where he left off, having no choice but to grab his arm in an effort to stop him.
Realistically, you are not strong enough to hold Spencer in place. If he wanted to, he could push past you easily, but your hand on him could disarm a nuclear bomb if he was its power source.
“Don’t. Please. Stay.” You plead.
Like you ever have to ask.
Spencer settles back against the counter, one of his cold, bloody hands lifting to cup the back of your head, tilting your forehead back to his chest hold you there.
“By the same token, I could have prevented this, had I said what’s been unsaid.” Spencer murmurs into your hair.
“That’s way less fair than the point I made.” You remark, which has him smirking against the top of your head.
“Don’t get smart with me when I’m running on adrenaline.” Spencer warns playfully.
“Don’t get flirty when you just beat a guy to a pulp for disrespecting me.” You counter, causing him to scoff quietly.
“That reminds me, I must amend a previous statement.” Spencer says, and you can’t resist tilting your head back to look up at him, his hands immediately shaking free of their icepacks to cup your cheeks.
“Mhmm?” You press.
“I said all it would take for me to clock him would be him making you cry, this has proven to be incorrect. Based on my actions tonight, I can safely say if he made you cry, I would kill him.” Spencer speaks with a tone so soft you’d think he was complimenting you, his thumbs caressing your cheeks so tenderly while he threatens your ex’s very life.
“Wow. Big words for a man who hasn’t even taken me out on a first date.” You smirk.
“Moving a little fast, aren’t we, sunshine?” Spencer quips teasingly, his own smirk forming.
“A year of tiptoeing around each other while I was in a relationship is only moving a little fast by the standards of the romance novels you read, Doc.” You joke.
“Touché.” Spencer laughs fondly down at you. “Does this mean I can finally attempt to court you, fair lady?”
Butterflies that he singlehandedly commands, fly free in your stomach.
“I’d say so.” You answer softly, and Spencer breathes the deepest sigh of relief.
He leans down to rest his forehead against yours, ever so gently bumping his nose to yours in the most tender gesture of affection.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer whispers, his breath fanning your lips.
“Anything.” You murmur.
Spencer smiles at the breathlessness he can already hear in your voice, solely caused by his proximity. Time slows to the most beautiful halt as he leans in, leaving the softest kiss at the corner of your mouth, barely even touching your lips.
“It was me who left a flower on your desk.”
669 notes · View notes
punkitt-is-here · 2 days
Note
I went back, read the FAQ, figured out I was working with bad information, and would like to present an actually polite version of the previous ask.
The other women you were having the "AFAB trans woman" debate with haven't been able to let go of it,
because anons have been accusing them of gatekeeping and TERF politics for providing anecdotes of, basically, AFAB people identifying as trans women to mock or overthrow their social groups. Citations below:
https://strawberry-crocodile.tumblr.com/post/742523159739334656/aita-for-warning-new-transfem-friends-that-someone
https://necronatural.tumblr.com/post/754196456131428352/sorry-but-if-youre-afab-you-do-not-get-to-call
I understand that the brazen, all-caps-bold-text mockery of any ask on this topic is great for driving off hateful anons pointed at you,
but if you could lend some credit to @patricia-taxxon 's responses, for example, it'd help take some hate off her back and really hep build my respect for you as an artist.
This will be likely my last proper response on any of this so be chill about it
I really, genuinely do not care that much about this subject much at all. It is a passing thought to me. I made the original post, responded once or twice, and made a quesadilla. it was fucking delicious. I do not appreciate the way you have talked to me. If you're going to treat yourself like someone I have to earn the respect back of instead of a random stranger on the internet who was very brazen to me in a one-off inbox message, I am not going to care.
With that out of the way: I have read the citations you have listed. I do not care. I have read them, thoroughly considered their points, and I still do not give a shit. What you are pointing at here in the first one is an individual perpetrating shitty behavior. I am not saying that this is the case, but if there was an assigned-male-at-birth woman perpetrating the same information, it would become very apparent very quickly how obvious it is that the issue is not with their gender identity, it is with the information they are spreading. Anyone is capable of misinformation, and I am not going to shit on and belittle a completely niche gender identity because one woman on the internet fucked up one time. If I did that, I'd be a hypocrite and would not be practicing any sort of good faith towards people with gender identities I do not fully understand. This is a core tenant of how I approach queerness. I do not need to understand someone to respect them. I do not need to worry about how conservatives will see us. I do not need to worry about the larger queer community when one person is being off-putting. I am not a fucking square. I achieve a lot of inner peace by simply practicing what you have named "tits-and-beer gender liberalism".
The second post you have linked is also something that I have read. I have considered the points in said post. My stance has still not changed. I do not think ID'ing as a transfeminine person when you were assigned female at birth is an inherently transphobic concept. Plenty of people in my notes have described experiences that very clearly and understandably outline why they do or why others might identify with the concept. I fundamentally disagree with the response because I do not believe that it is a transphobic idea. I am a transgender woman and have been for about half a decade now. My relationship with femininity is complex, and I am a binary transgender woman. I think in the grand scheme of gender identities, switching from one binary to the other has been pretty easy for me mentally. I am not intersex, I have never detransitioned in any way, and my family has been incredibly supportive. I transitioned specifically for the euphoria I got from identifying as a woman. I still have a complicated relationship with womanhood. Someone who has gone through many more hardships than I have is probably going to have an even more complicated relationship with femininity, and that is why I have no trouble imagining why something like an AFAB trans woman would exist. Perhaps someone has a complicated relationship with gender in relation to their intersex status and feels that the journey that transgender women take more closely aligns with their own rather than cisgender womanhood. Perhaps they are non-binary and have still transitioned to a more feminine-leaning identity. Perhaps they have de-transitioned, but now they are irreversibly changed by that experience and they are, in a way of thinking, "trans-feminine" because they are transitioning back to femininity. It is not hard for me to think of reasons. It is not saying that trans women are not real women. I think it is very clear to me that "transfem" can easily describe an experience with femininity that differs from the cisgender experience. It is no less valid, it is simply different, as with all things.
"Transfem" can mean "a man transitioning into a woman", but it can also describe a complex approach towards self-identification. We can argue semantics all we want, but I do not care personally. I do not think transfem means transitioning from man to woman exclusively. I am a binary transgender woman, and I do not agree that that is all it is. My journey as a transgender individual has been very uncomplicated compared to others, but it is still an ocean deep. I do not want to reduce that journey and identification down to a simple "man become woman" because that betrays the inherent complexity of transitioning and figuring out yourself.
Ultimately, to me, it comes down to not giving a shit. I am rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. You are rarely, if ever, going to meet an AFAB transfem person. It is an incredibly niche gender identity with a lot of baggage, as we have seen. It is never going to matter in the broad scheme of things that they exist because 99% of people are not going to bring them up in the wider conversation about transfemininity. I know that finding your identity can be a rough, arduous process. I am not going to deprive someone of the joy of self-discovery, even if it is a complex or contradictory idea. I do not fully understand neopronouns. I do not fully understand things like polyamory or he/him lesbians or AFAB transfems. I do not need to. In real life, you hang out with people and share food and good times together. None of this shit matters. If I am ever so lucky to meet someone with a contradictory or confusing identity, I am happy that my words may provide them comfort and that they won't live to hide themselves around me. Making someone feel like they have to hide parts of their self is the last thing I would ever want anyone to experience.
I have no beef with Patricia. I quite like her work. When I saw her response, I disagreed. I still do. I am not going to start agreeing with an idea I am expressly opposed to because someone asked. But it is not the end of the world. I would appreciate, if my followers are sending her harassment, that they fucking stop, because it's not that big a deal. If anyone from my post is sending anyone hate because of a public disagreement on that post, I ask you kindly to stop and go outside. I do not condone the behavior. It is not that big a deal.
I am going to go make myself a ham and egg sandwich and practice tits and beer gender liberalism now. I hope this satisfies your request in some way.
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lilacstro · 3 days
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What could end your relationship through your Venus sign
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On the suggestions of @crystalsnshit and @majortomspacex under my post astro observation pt 6 I will be making this post :)
How do we find this?
Count the 8th sign and house from your Venus placement and you should know how you could possibly be sabotaging your relationships. How do we do this?
Lets say you have a Sag Venus in 12th house, 8 houses, and 8 signs from there would be, Cancer and 7th house.
You should now be able to find this. Remember, it resonated for me, and people I did readings for. If this does not resonate with you, its ok :)
Combine both of these to be able to look into it :) I will however mention the Venus signs for each of them.
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1st house/Aries (Venus in Virgo) Looking at your relationships from a self centered pov, in the sense, looking at things for what suits you, more than what could be better for both of you together, not making sacrifices or compromises your relationship might need. Feeling insecure about yourself/partner. Trying to fit things to fit your future or at the extreme opposite being giving to a fault, that you dont even realize but you are doing everything in a relationship for 2, all by yourself. Getting fierce. Starting to fast just to go crashing down, not being able to take things slow.
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2nd house/Taurus (Venus in Libra) Not willing to change opinions, or thoughts about something. In the sense let's say, someone made a mistake and you may keep bringing it up over and over, still carrying resentment for it. Maybe you remember your partner as someone who used to wake up at 5 AM (just a random example lol) and now they dont, it might be hard for you to let go of old versions. Not willing to change old ways, not leaving/pointing things out and getting too comfortable. Could be getting caught up in the "show" (material wealth) at times.
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3rd house/Gemini (Venus in Scorpio) Not being aware of what you're speaking and what you're delivering instead. Maybe passive aggressive/argumentative. Getting sarcastic. Not being able to experience "boredom" and wanting something to happen all the time. Being confused about what you really want. Not taking thing seriously when you probably should. Communication gap. Maybe thinking you/your person have too many choices. Trying to act the "unbothered" king/queen, you are not.
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4th house/Cancer (Venus in Sagittarius) Attachment issues. Saying/taking actions high on emotions. Emotional instability. Some kind of attachment to nostalgia and how it used to be, which makes it hard for you to see that the person isnt the same anymore and you are probably in love with an old version of them that doesn't exist anymore. Tolerating/Giving silent treatment or isolating yourself within the relationship. Withdrawing. Trying to solve things alone for what should be solved together. Probably wanting to leave all the time but not doing so (attachment issues again). falling into the traps of innocence.
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5th house/Leo (Venus in Capricorn) Wanting to be someone's 1st priority on a seemingly impossible level. Not being able to tolerate/express things normally and making it a big deal unknowingly. Getting bored when things seem normal. Could be feeling competitive to your own partner in some ways without realizing, hence building resentment. Anger management issues. Problems differentiating what is happening, and what am I feeling and what is actually real between both of them. Getting bossy at times probably without even realizing. Hyper independence issues at times. Wanting to show your partner off, but making them fit into something they probably aren't for the show.
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6th house/Virgo (Venus in Aquarius) Trying to make meaning out of everything, being overcritical and judgmental of things. Trying to take every little thing seriously, getting hurt over small things. Getting used to how things should be "in a certain way" and not understanding sometimes, things aren't actually exactly like plan and order all the time. Picking small fights over things that weren't really important at times. Building frustration/insecurity under the surface. Being available/at service all times, to an unhealthy level.
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7th house/Libra (Venus in Pisces) Probably being caught up sometimes in thoughts of "can i do better than this?", "i wonder what they think about my person". Getting caught up in the idea of status/reputation, forgetting that the real important thing is you being contended with your partner and not anyone else. Having this urge/thoughts that "am i settling for the less? should i see if i can do better. Comparing your relationship and your person and getting disappointed for bad reasons. Constantly wanting to choose/being indecisive over what you really want making your partner feel undervalued/underappreciated at times.
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8th house/Scorpio (Venus in Aries) Overthinking. Being too attached to someone on a toxic level sometimes. Not opening up about your feelings and expectations and even worse, expecting that to be understood somehow without making it clear and feeling not understood/important when that does not happen and building resentment otherwise. Passive aggressive feelings. Feeling everything too deeply but being unable to talk about it. Fear of things being over so you just decide in your head let's end it already anyways, or you make subconscious choices like that without even realizing. Unwilling to let go/open up about past. Sometimes bearing things to an unhealthy level just for things to stay. Getting overly passionate that you even get blindsided.
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9th house/Sagittarius (Venus in Taurus) Rose coloured glasses. Being optimistic about things when you actually should let go/discuss them clearly. Being on the surface, and feeling scared to dive deeper into the feels. Being afraid to feel your own feelings when you are uncomfortable about them. Projection problems. Going, "Oh i don't care" about things when you should probably discuss them. Problems confronting/being confronted. And again, when opening up, getting straight to the throat about things you have been wanting talk about. Sometimes thinking "oh i am just serving the truth" and "they/i can leave, doesnt quite matter" when it absolutely does but you just don't know yet. Wanting to leave/make decisions impulsively at every small discomfort.
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10th house/Capricorn (Venus in Gemini) Overthinking things to a fault. Building a plan and expectation of how it should go and having problems when it doesn't quite go like that. Probably, embarrassment over your partners at times. Expecting them to act/behave in some certain way at times? not too sure about this one. Probably picking problems in your partner to a fault because you expect/want them to be perfect. This might come from a place of care, but this can actually get annoying at times making someone feel they aren't appreciated/enough for who they already are. Getting obsessive in a controlling way. Not giving enough thought to someone/someone's feelings and getting caught up at unnecessary places.
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11th house/Aquarius (Venus in Cancer) Having no control over your thoughts and feelings regarding the other person. Maybe feeling one day you love them to moons but suddenly feeling you lost feelings the other day. Not being able to differentiate between what is your mood and your real feelings. Making sudden decisions about things, possibly at times without even needing to inform the other. Thinking you are being "nice, and kind and giving or sacrificing" by taking such decisions (probably thinking that if you ghost someone, even if it hurts you, you are doing them favor because they deserve better so technically you are the one in pain, even though you are making a dumb decision) but all while just hurting the other person to ends.
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12th house/Pisces (Venus in Leo) Over idealizing your partner and then getting upset when it doesn't happen that way. Feeling disappointed. Having made up thoughts and delusions about something that doesn't probably exist, in both good and bad ways, hence being unable to see what actually is real. At times, this could also lead to misunderstandings at times. Making assumptions and not caring enough to clarify them. At times, ignoring what is real and problematic/makes you visibly uncomfortable just to have peace and your relationship, and getting crushed when in the end, the inevitable happens anyways.
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I hope you resonated with this post, leave feedback/suggestions <33
i love you all
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shoyoist · 2 days
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𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 : hinata shoyo.
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hinata catches your eye for the first time one afternoon, while you were walking home from school. you'd been taking this route home since your first year, and now, as a second year highschooler, you were sure you'd never seen him go by this way before.
you'd been looking up at the sky, admiring the colours splayed out and blending together along with the setting sun, when you heard the ting-ting of a bicycle bell in the distance.
upon casting your view back onto the street, you were met with the sight of him cycling past— and your eyes had met briefly, you think — and in that brief moment in which you'd caught sight of his eyes, you'd immediately fallen in love.
perhaps not really, but the firecracker tint of his eyes as they flashed in the sunlight had indeed captured your attention - and you'd thought about him the entire way home. it was a i-met-the-cutest-guy-today-and-i'll-never-see-him-again kind of moment.
except you did see him again, the very next day as you walked the usual path home from school. this time, he'd been with a friend — a black haired, dark eyed boy that didn't even fully register in your mind, because you were too busy taking in a second detail about hinata himself.
his mouth was stretched in a wide, summery grin — and then you learned his name, too, because his friend angrily yelled out, "hinata you fucking moron!"
he was pretty, you thought — really pretty. not handsome in the traditional sense, but good looking in a boyish, mischief-laden way.
after that, you saw him almost every day. you'd see him cycling down the street and disappear around the corner on your way home from school, and on occassion, it was the only thing you ever looked forward to.
this boy, this cute (and athletic, it seemed, since he cycled and seemed to be in a sports team, assuming from the jersey he donned some days) stranger whose name you'd caught only by chance — had become all of a sudden one of the constants you looked for to keep you grounded throughout your highs and lows.
he becomes more attractive to you as the days, weeks and months go by, and sometimes you hear his laugh, catch a word or two of what he's saying to the friend he cycles home with — and you fall in love with it all.
a little pathetic, it was perhaps, but sometimes it was just how it was. you didn't bother chiding yourself over it, or try to get over it — you just let it be, hoping and believing that the sight of this boy would just carry you forward for a while, and then you'd move onto other things and forget he ever existed.
after all, even if you wanted something to occur out of it, how could there be a chance of starting anything with a boy you only knew for a few seconds every day, a boy you only ever spare a glance from across the street at?
you just let it be. until one day, after an exam, you decided to stop by a shop to buy a pastry to satisfy your post-stress hunger with, and run into him.
he looked flustered, talking to the guy at the counter — and you couldn't help but overhear that he'd forgotten his wallet back in school and was unable to pay for the yakisoba bun he'd already taken a bite out of.
this was your moment, to discreetly return the favour he's been doing you everyday by cycling past and giving you something constant to rely on, to keep you on track. by becoming one of the many methodical repetitions you carried out on the daily, to help yourself through any and all the things that ever happened to you.
"excuse me," you push in, feeling timid all of a sudden as his fiery gaze, coupled with the bright curls of his hair that frame his eyes, suddenly focus on you. "how much is the bun for? i can pay for you."
of course, hinata has no choice but to let you help him, and as the two of you step out of the shop, he's bowing to you and expressing his gratitude to you, loud and fervent.
it's a little stunning, he's much better looking up close — and despite looking shorter than the rest of his friends, he's muscled and has height enough.
it was like having the sun suddenly be in your face after having hung so far up in the sky all the days past — but you manage to hold your composure and try to tell him he doesn't need to pay you back.
"no, really! how about we meet here tomorrow, same time? i'll have the money for you then." he kept insisting. "and maybe i can buy you something, too. an ice cone? a muffin?"
you were sure your heart couldn't take that. it was hard enough already, to play it cool and convince yourself that your feelings for this not-so-stranger-anymore were something temporary, something minimal.
but if he tried to make friends with you? if he bought you something to eat? if, fuck it, you had to stand so close to this summer of a boy a second time?
no, it was too risky. you couldn't. "no, it's fine. you really don't have to."
"but i gotta pay you back," he sounds disappointed, now, and you don't even know this guy, you try to tell yourself — but you can't help but soften.
"tell you what," you say, and his head lifts immediately, eyes locking with yours. "just keep cycling."
"hm?" he tilts his head to a side, and his fluffy hair bounces with the movement. "what does that mean?"
"just," you wave your hand towards the street. "take this road home everyday. you don't need to, but i think you do that already, anyway. i see you cycle past sometimes."
everyday, you think. i get to see you everyday, and that's all i'll ask for.
"so i just have to take my bike this way?" he asks, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. god, he's cute. "ah, so i'll see you, right?"
"mhm." it's all you can offer, and he nods enthusiastically. "sure, sure! i'll be looking for you, then — i'll wave if i see you!"
you agree, say you'll wave back — and then he's getting on his bicycle and going back on his way. you stand there and watch, and just as he's about to turn around the corner and disappear, he turns around and gives you a small wave.
you're not sure he even caught the way you waved back. but what you're suddenly starting to feel certain of is that, you know what, maybe the feelings for him that you have buried within your chest might not be as easy to ignore and leave behind, after all.
he hadn't told you his name (you knew it already, but that wasn't the point) and he hadn't asked for yours either, but you had a feeling this wasn't going to be the last time you talked to him.
you could feel it, not out of some lovey-dovey instinct but because you knew already that he was bright, fiery and someone that enjoyed connecting with everyone around him.
he'd probably ask for your name. and you'd probably have to witness firsthand, up close, the sight of his firecracker eyes again.
letting what was budding in your heart be something temporary, letting it fade away, forgetting that hinata ever existed — was probably going to be hard, impossible, even.
but the least you could do was believe, if not try. you lie to yourself.
the truth is that once you've seen the sun, the afterimage of it is stuck behind your eyes for the rest of your life. you're never going to forget that summer sun of a boy.
you walk home, thinking about how maybe one day, there'll be a night where you get to light a firecracker with him and watch the way he watches it — watch the way they light up his eyes.
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Note
Not to be a downer, but I actually finished my novel and now I’m confused because I don’t want to publish it. I don’t even particularly want anyone other than maybe my two close friends to even read it. What on Earth did I write 40k words (which I know is not really long enough for a novel, but it’s still far and away the longest thing I’ve ever written) for? I know people say “write for yourself” but like… am I just wasting my time? Help?
(p.s. you can leave this off anon)
(p.p.s your blog is really great 👍)
There's No Such Thing as Wasted Writing
I'm going to tackle this two ways...
#1 - "Write For Yourself" - there's a reason this common phrase has echoed through the Hall of Writers since time immemorial. It's because it's true! Writing doesn't have to be anything more than a pastime. It doesn't have to be anything more than something you do for your own benefit and enjoyment.
I have an in-joke with family members about how any time one of us does something the least bit crafty, DIY, skilled, whatever, a particular family member will always say, "You did a great job! You should do it for a living!" Like, someone can't even crochet a Kawaii mushroom without being pressured to turn it into an Etsy dynasty, or paint a cabinet without being pressured to become the next Property Brothers. And that's such a BANANAS capitalistic mindset, isn't it? This idea that nothing can be done purely for our own enjoyment. That you can't just write a novel because you want to... you can only write it if you plan to share it or publish it? It's just so silly.
And, the thing is, we don't even apply that mentality to a lot of other things people do purely for enjoyment. No one is streaming all of Bridgerton in two nights and saying, "I enjoyed every second of that, but why did I do that? Such a waste of time!" No one spends an hour strumming their guitar under the stars on a beach, and then says, "That was so relaxing and fun, but I didn't charge for that performance and I didn't record it to sell it, so that was obviously a waste of time."
You know what I mean?
#2 - And Anyway, Practice Makes Perfect - And if you keep writing--even if you continue not to share or publish--you'll get better and better with each story you write. Which, maybe all that means is you get to appreciate your own improvement, but also, should you ever change your mind and decide to write something to share or publish, you've now spent time honing your skills. Even if those other stories never see the light of day, they're still an important foundation of the writer you become. Do you know how many unpublished novellas, novels, and short stories I have? Too many to count. Hundreds of fan-fiction and original fiction short stories I've only shared with one or two other people, if anyone. A dozen or so novels and novellas that have only been read by a few people, and some haven't been read by anyone else or have only been read by my CPs. I would never consider those stories and novels and novellas to be a waste of time, because I know every single one made me a better writer. My published work is better because I wrote those other things.
So, I hope that makes you feel better. At the very least you hopefully enjoyed writing your novel--or at least got something out of it--and you definitely honed your writing skills, which matters! ♥
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
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pettydollie · 13 hours
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rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs
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a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3
SFW
chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((
i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever
he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)
sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c
but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.
out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!
when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.
you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off
one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.
you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".
for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3
imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.
you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"
you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!
u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal
but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody
chris gets a custom made $500k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((
NSFW
speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.
chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.
"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"
in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate
chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u
watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.
he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths
chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.
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@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht
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ln4smiamitrophy · 18 hours
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𝐈𝐓’𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘
𐙚 summary; the one where the reader meet charles and realises that maybe soulmates do exist
ʚɞ pairing; charles leclerc x singer!reader
ᡣ𐭩 fc; maisie peters (& a pinterest girl for the ferrari post as maisie hasn’t attended a gp)
⭒ type; smau
⟡ a/n; this isn’t my best work at all but i haven’t posted in forever because i’ve been really busy so enjoy this lovelies
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y/nusername
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liked by taylorswift, florencepugh and others
y/nusername “the prophecy” out everywhere now <3
comments…
user1 AAAAHHHHHHHH
user2 IM CRYING WTF
taylorswift it was such a pleasure to write with you
⤷ user4 THEY CO-WROTE THIS!? OMFG
user5 “don’t want money just someone who wants my company” HEARTBREAKING 💔
user6 her exes better know how to fight, i’m coming for them
⤷ user7 i’ll help you !!
user8 i don’t think the bridge to a song has ever hurt me more
⤷ user9 NO CAUSE ID Y/N SEES NO SIGN OF SOULMATES WHAT CHANCE DO I HAVE!? she’s literally perfect and she thinks there’s no soulmate for her 😭😭😭
florencepugh i love you, you’re incredible
⤷ y/nusername i love you most flo
user10 the day i get over this song is the day i die
and more…
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scuderiaferrari
📍• melbourne grand prix circuit
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liked by y/nusername, charles_leclerc and others
scuderiaferrari look who popped in to say hello 👋🏻 ❤️ (i am your biggest fan - admin)
tagged y/nusername
comments…
y/nusername and i’m your biggest fan admin❤️
⤷ scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️
user1 NOT HER RELEASING THE SADDEST FUCKING SONG EVER AND THEN ATTENDING A GP ALL SMILES LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED 😭😭
user2 since when was y/n an f1 girlie!?
⤷ user3 since forever!!
user4 i’m living for y/n x ferrari
user57 another female celebrity pretending to like f1 for more fame, great 😒😒
⤷ user5 stfu she has literally been an f1 fan for years, there are so many videos of her talking about it
user6 manifesting a ferrari win today
user7 when my two worlds collide
and more…
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y/nusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, sabrinacarpenter and others
y/nusername 4 weeks in 4 pictures
comments…
user1 loving the sunglasses
⤷ y/nusername they’re so fun aren’t they??
user2 she’s so unbelievably beautiful
sabrinacarpenter i miss you 😢
⤷ y/nusername i miss you more angel, see you soon
user4 i wonder who the guy is
⤷ user5 call me crazy, kinda looks like charles leclerc and he’s in the likes
⤷ user6 you’re crazy, it’s been like 2 months since the aus gp
taylorswift i’d like my hot water bottle back please
⤷ y/nusername no 😢😓
and more…
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charles_leclerc
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liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and others
charles_leclerc 🛥️🛥️
comments…
user1 charles with children is the cutest thing ever
⤷ user2 no cause he’ll deffo be the best dad
user3 DIDN’T Y/N JUST CUT HER HAIR THIS SHORT!?
⤷ user4 SHE DID!!! IT HAS TO BE HER!!!
landonorris 🫣
⤷ user5 LANDO WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?
⤷ user6 TELL US NOW!!
carlossainz55 not even trying to hide it anymore
⤷ charles_leclerc i hate you
⤷ user7 Y/NCHARLES CONFIRMATION!?
and more…
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f1
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liked by y/nusername, scuderiaferrari and others
f1 THE ONE HE ALWAYS WANTED 🥹🏆
Charles Leclerc is the first home winner of the Monaco Grand Prix for 93 years!
What a moment for the Monegasque native ❤️🇲🇨
comments…
olliebearman ❤️
user1 jules is smiling down at him, i know it 🥹
⤷ user2 and his dad
user3 ngl i sobbed
⤷ user4 we all did
carlossainz55 a long time coming ❤️
user5 WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW HE LITERALLY RAN TO Y/N AND KISSED HER!?
⤷ user6 LITERALLY I SCREAMED!!!!
⤷ user7 I FUCKING KNEW THEY WERE TOGETHER
and more…
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y/nusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, taylorswift and others
y/nusername surprise single time! “the alchemy” out now !!
tagged; charles_leclerc
comments…
user1 SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
user2 she really said “THIS SONG IS ABOUT CHARLES LECLERC!!!”
⤷ user3 fr!! she’s leaving no room for rumours
charles_leclerc mon coeur ❤️
*liked by y/nusername*
⤷ y/nusername je t’aime ❤️
user4 “WHERE’S THE TROPHY?! HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME!!!!”
⤷ user5 NO I ACTUALLY DIED
taylorswift i’m so proud of you
⤷ y/nusername i love you
user6 I LOVE HOW SHE INCLUDED THE PICS
⤷ user7 THEY ARE THE F1 COUPLE
charles_leclerc i told you soulmates do exist my girl
⤷ y/nusername shush
⤷ carlossainz55 this is sick(eningly cute)
⤷ user8 carlos really speaking for all of us
———————————————————————
taglist; @danielshoe @amorrziinho @soamericn @urfavwelshie @xylinasdiary @cleaswn @marknolee @shineforever19 @formulaal @manicpixiemom @lemon-lav
comment to be added to taglist <3
282 notes · View notes
i-care-4u · 1 day
Text
it’s a tradition ✹ jude bellingham
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
PAIR: JUDE BELLINGHAM X FEMALE!READER
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST
A/N: literally decided to post an early birthday fic for jude! 😁
→ INSTAGRAM
2021
judebellingham
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Liked by erling.haaland, yourusername, jobebellingham, and 140,002 others
judebellingham I want to say how fortunate I am to know someone like yourusername. I reflect on the memories and experiences we've had, writing about how you've made me laugh and smile. I talk about how you make me feel more alive and how much I value having you in my life. I'll close with a heartfelt wish for you to have a fantastic birthday, bud.
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yourusername Thank you I guess 😓 (Why did you chose this picture out of all the pictures you've took?)
judebellingham yourusername Hey, this one gotta do (This is the most fun you look)
erling.haaland Hey, where's my silly birthday post?
judebellingham erling.haaland See you next year, mate.
user1 Now if you don't bag her Bellingham...
footiefan7 Enough with the girl, give us more football posts
judebe footiefan7 Tell me you’re single without telling us that you’re single
user2 She's so gorgeous
user3 Oh to have a dedicated post on Jude's page
judebellinghamlive I've seen two pretty best friends now
yourusername
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Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, trentarnold66, and 5,920 others
yourusername Happy birthday to one of my bestest friends in the world! judebellingham You constantly brighten my day with your humor and charm. I also want to congratulate you once again for getting into the Dortmund team, you’re already achieving so much at your young age. I am so proud of you, bestie. Here's to another year of laughter and good times! 🍰
View all 109 comments
judebellingham Who's this cheeky lad you're hanging out with?
yourusername judebellingham I think his name is Joe Birmingham??? Correct me if I'm wrong
yourbestfriend Okay WAG 🥰🥰🥰
yourusername yourbestfriend Nah, is there a FAB option? (Friends And Buddies) 🤗
user1 yourusername You can be like the honorary WAG
2022
judebellingham
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Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, gioareyna, and 402,920 others
judebellingham Happy birthday to the friend who's put up with my bullshit for so many years. I honestly don't know how you do it, but I'm grateful for your questionable (good) taste in friends. You literally deserve a medal for being this loyal after this long. My true ride or die buddy.
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yourusername Ooh, and she got a glow up since her last birthday post! 😍
judebellingham yourusername This is a sign that I'm getting better at taking pictures, right?
gioareyna Do I deserve a loyalty medal too?
judebellingham gioareyna No.
yourusername judebellingham Tell him🤭
user1 She’s so pretty
bellinghammer Happy birthday to the funniest and sweetest girl ever!
user2 I always get excited for these birthday posts
ilobjude I hope Jude realizes how much we fans love Y/n
user3 I refuse to believe that they aren’t together
yourusername
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Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, gioareyna, and 8,829 others
yourusername Happy birthday, Jude! Today is your big day, and you have an extra reason to celebrate: you have officially made the England team for the World Cup in Qatar! What an incredible achievement! I am quite impressed with all of your hard work and dedication to your football career. You've worked really hard to reach this stage, and the praise could not have come at a better moment. I am convinced that you will represent England honorably and make all of your fans proud. Congratulations bubs!
View all 201 comments
judebellingham You finally got something nice to say about me
yourusername judebellingham *And the only time I’ll say something nice to you, sir.
yourbestfriend If I were to be on the England team, would you write me a long ass paragraph too? 😍
yourusername yourbestfriend I’ll write you a novel instead 🥰
judebellingham yourusername I expect the same energy next year 🙄
2023
judebellingham
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Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, camavinga, and 1,503,292 others
judebellingham As another year passes, I can't help but think about all the moments we've made together yourusername. Listening to your late-night chats to creating any last minute plans, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have you in my life. You laugh at all of my idiotic jokes, even when they aren't very amusing. You give me the most honest advice when I need it most, and you always know what to say to make me feel better. When I am among you, I don't have to put up a face or pretend to be someone I am not. You accept me as I am, no matter the flaws. So, for your birthday, I simply wanted you to know how much you mean to me. You're more than a friend; you're a true partner in crime. I would not want to spend my life with anyone else.
View all 4,020 comments
yourusername Awwww (I wrote this)
judebellingham yourusername Selfish much?
camavinga At this point get a room already 🤣
user1 camavinga What are you trying to say here?
user2 user1 I feel like he knows something we don’t
madridistar OH NO WHAT’S HAPPENING….🧍‍♀️…..🐕
jobeyjude I just want to be friends with Y/n, is that too much to ask for?
mbappeswife My favorite time of the year! (Jude’s dedicated post to Y/n)
user3 My [zodiac] queen
modricsfave Happy birthday gorgeous! 🎉🎂🥳
yourusername
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Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, vinijr, and 20,020 others
yourusername Another year older, and possibly wiser. Happy birthday, Jude! You're more than just a friend to me; you're my confidant, rock, and partner in crime. Our bond is unbreakable, and our relationship is something I treasure deeply. But don't forget that you've joined Real Madrid in addition to being another year older! I can't wait to see your success on that field. You've worked exceptionally hard to get here, and you deserve all the success in the world.
View all 508 comments
judebellingham Gracias amiga 🤍
yourusername judebellingham Those Spanish lessons coming in HANDY 🤭
vinijr Happy birthday Jude! 🎉
camavinga Family ☝️
judebells_ We stan a supportive friend like Y/n 🙌
2024
judebellingham
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Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, ardaguler, and 4,901,639 others
judebellingham Today marks as Y/n's birthday, and I just want to say how everything has changed for the better since the past year. You have given me so much love, happiness, and joy in the previous year, and I will be eternally grateful for every moment we've spent together. I still can't believe you're mine and I can call you that. It feels as if a dream has come true and I can't wait to see what's next for us.
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yourusername I love you beautiful 💕
judebellingham yourusername Love you more than anything 🤗
jobebellingham Saw this one coming 🫣
beellinghamm jobebellingham I just want to know how long you’ve been waiting for this moment to happen
user1 It’s official…Y/n is my favorite WAG
halamadridjude You’re such a lucky man
user2 Mama y papa 😇
vinisoulmate I wish I had someone adore me the same way Jude does to Y/n
bellingfanatic I don’t know what’s his biggest win, Champion’s League or finally dating Y/n after so many years
user3 Sending you both lots of love 🫶🫶🫶
yourusername
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Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, lukamodric10, and 206,385 others
yourusername I can't believe I call this cameraman, judebellingham, "mine." In all seriousness, you know I value you for so much more than just taking my pictures. Happy birthday to the man who I refer to as my partner and best friend, who tries his best to keep me sane throughout the day. Every day, I fall more deeply in love with you. You're like my other half, the missing piece that makes me feel complete. You've witnessed my most raw and vulnerable moments, and you still adore me for who I am. I consider it a privilege to have you at my side, someone who understands and accepts me for who I am, camera or not. Love you lots, bud.
View all 1,920 comments
judebellingham Here's to growing gray hair together!
yourusername judebellingham Okay. Now you're making me feel old.
yourbestfriend Remember the times when I called you a WAG?
yourusername yourbestfriend Yes, you've won…
user1 IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME THEY STARTED DATING
204 notes · View notes
Hello again everyone! It's time for another Merlin au! This time featuring Uther's propaganda and a healthy dose of misunderstandings and pain! :D
This au was inspired by an idea that I pitched in a reblog of one of @tamaha's amazing posts! (Also, shoutout to my awesome mutual @achillesuwu, since you asked to be tagged when I wrote this! :) ) You can find that original reblog here!
In canon, we know that Uther had children drowned for using magic, and that most of those children were likely warlocks who were born with their magic. However, we also know that most people in Camelot believe that magic is a choice and that it's impossible for someone to be born with it, so how did Uther justify to his people both the existence of child warlocks and the killing of children for something that they had no control over?
Well, Uther utilized his propaganda to justify killing young warlocks. He found some ancient text that hypothesized that warlocks got their powers from being reborn demons, and he used those very shoddy sources to justify his actions.
He spun stories about how warlocks looked human, but weren't human at all. He told the people that while those warlock children might have looked like regular humans, they would grow into powerful demons that would hunt down regular humans and eat their souls to gain more power.
Uther's propaganda campaign was successful, and soon, warlocks were some of the most feared magical creatures in Camelot. The people were terrified at the thought of a beast that could consume souls and blend in among them, unable to detected until it was too late.
Warlocks were a regular element of the nightmares of all of the children in Camelot, who would jump at every shadow and wonder if it was a warlock, there to devour them. Arthur was among those children, lying awake late at night, trembling with fear at the thought of any person he passed on the street being a warlock who would eat his very soul, denying him any afterlife and instead turning his soul into more magical power for the warlock.
And fast forward to some point after Arthur's become king, Merlin has a pretty painless magic reveal. Arthur and the knights were out hunting, they all get ambushed by bandits, Arthur takes a bad hit that would probably be fatal, but Merlin rushes to his side and, without hesitation, uses magic to heal Arthur's wound.
Arthur was, of course, very upset to learn that his manservant and best friend has magic, and they have a big argument over it, but no one physically attacks anyone (despite Gwaine's threats to kill Arthur and the rest of the knights and run away with Merlin).
So, everyone endures a rather tense and awkward ride back to Camelot, where Merlin is the recipient of many irate glares from Arthur and reassuring looks from the knights. When they reach Camelot, Arthur bans Merlin from his presence until he calls for Merlin again. He says that he can't stand the sight of Merlin at the moment, but Merlin will owe him a full explanation later. Merlin tearfully agrees and holes himself up in Gaius's chambers for a few days, while Arthur makes an ass of himself with his foul mood, snapping at everyone in the castle.
The knights try to point out to Arthur that while, yes, Merlin had magic and had lied to Arthur, he had only revealed it to save Arthur's life. Most of the knights used that point as a tool to comfort Arthur and ease his temper, but Gwaine used that fact to rub it in Arthur's face how terrible of a person Arthur was being towards the man who had just saved his life.
Finally, after the whole castle had to suffer through five days of Arthur's prattish and unpleasant behavior, Arthur summoned Merlin to his chambers, feeling calm enough again to actually hear whatever nonsensical reasons Merlin would give for turning to magic.
You see, what Arthur, the knights, and pretty much everyone in the castle had assumed was that Merlin had probably just picked up on some small useful enchantments and healing spells for Gaius's old study of that material. Arthur was angry at Merlin for turning to magic, but he could understand where Merlin was coming from.
Everyone knew that Merlin cared about his friends to the point of idiocy, so it made logical sense that Merlin, since he had the resources available to him, would resort to learning healing magic in case of an emergency. Arthur understood that aspect of Merlin more than anyone else.
Knowing that Merlin's magic was probably just the result of him being a loving and caring idiot did help ease the blow for Arthur, and truthfully Arthur didn't plan on punishing Merlin at all. To Arthur, hopefully confining Merlin to his chambers for a few days would discourage any future stupidity along these lines, and they could put this entire situation behind them.
So, when Arthur summoned a distressingly pale Merlin to his chambers and demanded an explanation, he expected to receive some stuttered response about learning a few spells from some of Gaius's spare books and to extract a promise out of Merlin that he'd never turn to magic again, and then everything would be fine.
However, when a wrought looking Merlin opened his mouth to explain, Arthur's heart plummeted to the floor. At the very first words of Merlin's explanation, "I was born with it," Arthur's chest went cold, and he took a few staggering steps backwards until his back hit the cold wall behind him, his eyes seeking out his blade.
Merlin was born with magic. That made Merlin a... a...
"Warlock," Arthur whispered, his eyes teary and terrified all at once.
Merlin stopped his explanation and tilted his head at Arthur, a small grin pulling on his lips. Arthur flinched back slightly at the sight of it, unable to form a coherent thought beyond the all-encompassing terror, dread, and sorrow that swirled around his mind.
"Ah, so you do know the correct word for it then! Yes, I am technically a warlock, but the distinction doesn't really matter that much anyways."
Merlin made a dismissive gesture with his hand, as if his words hadn't just completely shattered Arthur's heart. Arthur couldn't even listen to the rest of Merlin's explanation through the rush of his heartbeat and breathing in his ears.
The terror gripping his heart shouted at him to fight or flee, don't just stand there waiting for him to decide that he's feeling peckish for souls!
Arthur suddenly registered the pallor of Merlin's skin and the hollowness of his cheeks and came to the awful conclusion that he doesn't have much time, Merlin's already hungry and Merlin was stepping closer there was no time to escape nonono!
Arthur closed his eyes, unable to look at what must have been Merlin unfurling whatever demonic jaws he kept hidden and preparing to eat Arthur's soul...
But the sensation of his soul being devoured, whatever that was supposed to feel like, never came. Instead, he just felt a hand on his forehead, and after a few seconds another one cupped the side of his face.
Arthur hesitantly opened his eyes, almost not wanting to look upon Merlin's happy, friendly face that had always brought nothing but comfort. He didn't want those caring eyes to be that last thing he saw before he died at Merlin's hand!
Slowly, Arthur steeled himself and blinked the tears from his eyes, willing to at least face his death like a true warrior, looking at it head-on.
But, as his vision cleared from the tears, Merlin didn't look like his death, or like any sort of soul-eating monster. He just looked like Merlin, and by god wasn't that the worst part of it?
Merlin slowly smiled at him as his tears dried, coaxing him away from the wall and towards his armchair by the fireplace. Merlin gently guided him over to chair and helped him into his seat, holding Arthur's hand the entire time.
Arthur, once he was sitting, looked over at Merlin, still holding onto his hand and whispering comforting words to him, and Arthur felt like a small, scared child again, freshly awoken from a nightmare and jumping at every shadow.
It took what must have been hours for Arthur to catch his breath, stop his tears, and cease his body's terrified trembling, and Merlin sat next to him the entire time, drying Arthur's tears and comforting him.
Eventually, Arthur looked Merlin in the eyes again, and he could find nothing in them but love and care.
Whatever Merlin was, however hungry he must have been after going five days without being able to hunt for souls to devour, he apparently didn't see Arthur as a target.
Arthur took a deep breath, maintaining eye contact with Merlin. Alright, Merlin might be a soul-eating demon straight out of Camelot's worst nightmares, but he saw Arthur as a friend, not a meal. Arthur... Arthur could work with that.
He just... he needed more information before doing anything else. Merlin was still looking at him with love and concern, and with each passing moment, Arthur became more and more convinced that Merlin was still Merlin, warlock or not. And damn it all, that still counted for something. It had to count for something.
Now that his fear was marginally under control, questions swirled around Arthur's head. How did Merlin even eat souls before this? How often did he need to eat? Did he need to also eat food, or did he sustain himself and his powers on souls alone?
Before he could ask Merlin any of the pressing questions that were on his mind, Merlin had already helped Arthur out of his chair and towards his bed, readying a limp Arthur for bed whilst the king was drowning in his own thoughts.
Before Arthur even knew it, Merlin was pulling blankets over him and snuffing out the candles in his room. Merlin promised to visit Arthur again in the morning to tell him more, and Arthur barely registered his words over the storm of his own thoughts.
When morning came, Arthur couldn't even tell if he had gotten any sleep throughout the night or not, but he woke up exhausted either way. Only a few minutes after the sun had risen, Merlin burst into the room, still looking paler than usual and helping himself to one of the sausages that was supposed to be a part of Arthur's breakfast.
Just the sight of Merlin eating anything made Arthur feel slightly queasy, imaging some terrified soul being devoured at Merlin's hands. Arthur took a deep, steadying breath before getting out of bed, allowing Merlin to dress him as he normally did.
Merlin, much to Arthur's relief, was still acting like nothing had changed, like he was still the same harmless Merlin that Arthur knew him as before yesterday.
If that was how Merlin wanted to act, then Arthur was fine with it. Truthfully, even with all of the questions that Arthur had surrounding Merlin's nature, he found that he didn't really want answers to any of them. Answers would make this new reality, one where Merlin was never harmless at all and where there was a demon hiding under his best friend's skin, real for Arthur. If Arthur didn't have any answers, then he could just... pretend that everything was still fine, like nothing was wrong.
To keep Merlin by his side, he would gladly accept ignorance and pretend like nothing had changed.
However, there was still one issue that Arthur needed an answer to, to confirm that Merlin was still the man who Arthur always thought him to be.
As Merlin was cleaning up Arthur's breakfast plate, Arthur cleared his throat, getting Merlin's attention. Merlin quickly turned around to meet Arthur's gaze, but Arthur didn't feel scared meeting his eyes this time.
"Merlin, I'm willing to let everything that was revealed yesterday be forgiven, and everything can go back to normal."
Merlin gave Arthur a beaming smile at his words, and Arthur continued with a solemn heart.
"However, there is one thing I need to know. You've never..."
Somehow, the words eaten the soul of an innocent person were so vile that they refused to pass Arthur's lips, so he chooses an alternative.
"... hurt anyone who didn't deserve it, right? And you never will in the future? If we are to have any sort of trust between us, you must answer me honestly"
Arthur figured that, if Merlin was indeed forced to eat souls to survive, Merlin was probably feeding on bandits or enemy soldiers that Arthur and the knights would've killed anyways. It was the only explanation, as innocent people didn't mysteriously turn up dead regularly enough in Camelot to indicate that Merlin was feeding on them, and Arthur knew, deep down, that no matter what he was, Merlin would never do such a thing.
Merlin froze at Arthur's words, his smile falling. He lowered his gaze briefly, before meeting Arthur's eyes once more, determination shining brightly in his eyes.
"Arthur, I swear to you, anyone whom I've hurt with my powers were enemies of Camelot. Whatever I've done, I did it to protect you and your subjects."
Arthur nodded, satisfied and relieved by Merlin's answer. Nothing had to change then, Merlin was still his friend and manservant, albeit with powerful magic and an appetite for the souls of his enemies. Arthur could... tolerate that.
As the weeks went on, Arthur found himself thinking about this new side to Merlin less and less. Merlin was still acting exactly as himself, so there was no reason for Arthur to worry, let alone dwell on any thoughts of warlocks.
(And if he had a familiar nightmare from his childhood featuring a warlock, then that was Arthur's business and Arthur's business alone.)
Everything was fine, and months passed without any incidents. That was, however, until Arthur noticed Merlin becoming paler, his cheeks hollowing out again, and his eyes sporting heavy bags. As he took in the changes in Merlin over the past few days, he came to the sickening conclusion: Merlin was getting hungry again, and would need a soul to eat soon.
But Camelot was at peace, there were noticeably less bandits roaming the streets in the past year, and no assassins had come to the castle in the past months. Arthur could see that Merlin's usual... hunting grounds... had been drying up, and he needed to find a solution immediately. Arthur shivered at the thought of what devastation Merlin would unintentionally bring down upon all of them if his hunger ever got out of control.
After several hours of brainstorming on Arthur's part, he finally had an idea. It sickened him to have to consider, but he would do what he had to for the sake of Camelot.
Arthur called for Merlin to follow him as he made his way into the dungeons, where only one prisoner was currently being held. The prisoner was a minor noble who had killed several of his own servants and then used his status as a member of the nobility to cover up his involvement in the murders.
However, the nobleman was sloppy, and there was evidence left behind that proved his guilt without a doubt. He was set to be hanged for his crimes in two days time, as per Arthur's own judgement at the noble's trial, but... if he was going to be executed anyways... perhaps his death may be of use.
(What Arthur didn't know was that the real reason why Merlin looked so exhausted was because Merlin had spent every night for the past week searching for and compiling evidence that the nobleman was behind the murders, as the bastard would've gotten away with it otherwise.)
To Arthur, the criminal's death could be used to ensure that Camelot's only source of magical protection (and Arthur's best and dearest friend) didn't starve to death or go into a hunger-induced rampage, whichever came first.
Slowly, Arthur made his way to the nobleman's cell with Merlin trailing after him, where the criminal was bound to a chair on Arthur's orders. Arthur solemnly opened the door to the cell, gesturing for Merlin to follow him inside.
As soon as Arthur set foot in the cell, the nobleman started begging him for mercy, pleading with him to lower his sentence, not knowing what punishment Arthur truly had in mind for him. Ignoring the soon-to-be dead man, Arthur turned towards Merlin, who was startled by Arthur's intense stare.
"Arthur? What's going on?"
"Merlin," Arthur choked out, his voice rough with guilt, sorrow, and fear alike. Merlin rushed to Arthur's side at the sound, trying to urge him out of the cell, away from whatever issue was causing Arthur such pain.
Standing firm, Arthur cleared his throat.
"Merlin, I need you to... to do something for me."
Concern marred Merlin features as he reached out to Arthur.
"Of course, I would do anything for you Arthur."
Arthur swallowed roughly, trying to force his next words out of his throat. He'd ordered executions before, hell, he'd even ordered this man's execution before, but this was much, much harder than any of the other orders he'd given.
"Merlin, I need you to... take care of this man, as you normally do for enemies of Camelot."
Merlin reeled back with shock, looking somewhere between confused and hurt.
"Arthur, you can't possibly mean for me to..."
"I'm sorry, but yes Merlin, it needs to be done."
Merlin stared at Arthur for a few more moments, before slowly nodding his head and turning towards the bound criminal.
As Merlin stepped closer to the doomed noble, Arthur closed his eyes and turned his head away. Perhaps it was cowardice, but if there were ever a time for Arthur to show such cowardly behavior, it was here. He didn't want to see this part of Merlin.
He did, however, hear everything. There was a scream from the criminal, which was sickeningly cut off by a loud wet crunch that echoes off of the cell's walls, and then there was no sound in the cell except a very loud silence.
Arthur slowly opened his eyes to the sight of Merlin standing in front of a corpse and tried to believe that everything was still normal.
And that's a wrap on this au! Man, that got darker than I expected it to be.
Be sure to let me know if you'd like a continuation of this au!
And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D
161 notes · View notes
sistersofsilver · 2 days
Text
okay. heres my rough (rough) idea on how to make a shade a little more tangible.
ashes: to remember him. there's a spark of something there.
bones: to strengthen him. he"s clearly more tangible than other shades given he's at least semi corporeal
fate fabric: to twist possibility in favor. basically mandatory, there's little chance of this working otherwise. (it very clearly didn't entirely work, but that's not the point)
nightshade: tied to death, used for medea upgrades thus tied to her in some way and given her everything...
myrtle: tied to love. take that as you will, but i dont think you can try this without love.
blood: not a proper reagent, but clearly, this took a pound of flesh either way. blood = life as seen with zagreus last game. (<- oversimplification ik)
complications: some of these are later game drops, and so melinoë was NOT grabbing these. where did melinoë learn this. how did literally no one stop them.
tentative solutions: icarus is already dead, and we know of scouting shades by odysseus. hecate had a surplus of reagents lying around - she mentioned she had some early on in game but hasnt had the chance to refill them as of late. therefore, melinoë and icarus could have done some pilfering. eris could have been involved if only because hecate would not approve of this. we know eris made bombs, and her, mel, and icarus have some sort of connection. as for learning, there's something about taking bits and pieces of medea and circes teachings and trial and getting a rough idea. melinoë isn't stupid after all. circe for changing ones nature, medea for dealing with the dead. both are important imo. as for how & why no one stopped them... great question.
idk!!! idk i'm still cooking, but i feel like i'm onto something.
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snarp · 2 days
Text
Official version of the final cutscene:
Lord brother. I'm going to be a god. If we honour our part of the vow, promise me you'll be my consort. I'll make the world a gentler place.
Unlike the Remembrance, the content of the Japanese text isn't significantly different this time, but the tone has again been stripped out. My translation:
Nii-sama I'll definitely - definitely become a god, so - so if we honor our part of the vow, please become my king. …I just… want to make the world kind.
Explanation:
兄様 Nii-sama
When Miquella says "Lord Brother," this is always what they're saying. It's also what Malenia calls Miquella when she apologizes for losing.*
私は必ず、神になります I'll definitely - definitely become a god,
The comma is there to show hesitation, and the "definitely" ("kanarazu" / 必ず) is defensive: Miquella is defending their ability and/or willingness to become a god. With the sentence structure of a panicking child promising an angry parent they'll clean up after the puppy.
ですから、私たちが約束を守れたら So - so if we honor our part of the vow,
Again, the comma's there to show hesitation or stuttering. The connective "so" ("desu kara"/ですから) is characteristic of a nervous person trying to bargain.
(There's no indication of who else or how many people "we" includes.)
私の王になってください please become my king.
They don't say "promise" - too aggressive.
…世界を、優しくしたいのです …I just... want to make the world kind.
They do not say "kinder", and they do not say "will": this isn't a promise, but a justification. As with everything else here, it sounds hesitant and conciliatory.**
The implication of this scene - the defensiveness, the promises, the honorific language, and the fact that Miquella is kneeling - is that Miquella has been apologizing to Radahn for some failure. Most likely, Radahn accused Miquella of being unable or unwilling to become a god, and so of failing to hold up "their" half of the vow, and Miquella is trying to reassure him.
From an emotional standpoint, I think it's pretty obvious what this is supposed to tell us about Miquella's motivations.
"What did Radahn want from Miquella?" is the question being asked here. Freyja asked it at the beginning, and the final cut-scene asks it again, to remind us that we still don't know the answer.
And from a plot standpoint, it tells us this: Radahn's half of the bargain is "marry Miquella and so become Elden Lord". So - by definition - that cannot be what Radahn asked Miquella for.
And whatever Radahn's half is, he wants it first. And, apparently, Miquella provided it - immediately before the final battle, with assistance from Malenia and the Tarnished.
"Figure it out!" says FromSoft. "Tee-hee-hee."
---
* On losing, Malenia says:
"…Aa, nii-sama …Aa, nii-sama, nii-sama. I'm sorry… Malenia lost…"
Referring to yourself in the third person is basically baby talk. As with Miquella, a lot of Malenia's Japanese-language dialog sounds childish. There's currently no way to know for sure if she was always like that, or if it's part of her post-Caelid mental deterioration… but Millicent talks like an adult.
(Malenia is saying "nii-sama" in "My brother will keep his promise", too - but there, she seems to be half-asleep and mumbling, and can't remember the kanji for "sama".)
** The way Japanese verb endings work, it's easy to accidentally land on a "no desu" (のです) like Miquella does here when you blurt something out carelessly, start regretting it before you end the sentence, and want to make it more polite. In "professional Japanese" classes, you get a lot of reminders not to end sentences that way because it sounds "weak," "pitiful," or "like you're always apologizing."
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sunglassesmish · 2 days
Note
I hope you don’t mind asking but you consistently have some of the best 911 gifs. How are your gifs so sharp? And the coloring so good? Could you do a little tutorial about your giffing?
omg thank you!!! this gets pretty long so i’m putting the tutorial under the cut
so firstly, i use kmplayer to screencap. the most important part though is the quality of the episode you have. you always want to work with 1080p, and my file is around 2gb. that is how my gifs always turn out ‘the best’ as you say 🤗 of course, colouring and sharpening help a lot, but if you don’t have a good download, your gifs can be helped but won’t be the best possible.
this is the gif i’m making having only been cropped and sharpened. i’m gonna show you how i make a gif and my colouring process (which, for this one, is admittedly pretty short and simple compared to what i usually do.) as you can see, it’s dark and pixelated and doesn’t look that appealing, no matter how handsome they both are.
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also, i forgot to screenshot this before i started but the screenshot below shows the action i use to basically get all my screencaps organised to make one gif. this is after you’ve got the screencaps into photoshop in a stack.
i can’t find the original post with the action, and i’m not sure how to share it on this post… but if it’s not that important in the scheme of this post, there are many other posts out there with actions you’ll be able to easily find and download.
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anyways. so this is gonna go through the process of making a gif assuming you’ve done the process of importing the frames and sharpening. (i would normally cut out my taskbar but there are so many screenshots, it would take foreverrrr)
the next step would be cropping. this is the original:
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and i’m doing a 540 x 500 gif. i like mine to be bigger so i can only get the person/people i want in the gif (sorry eddie) but sometimes if i want that it’ll be smaller, usually 540 x 400.
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anyways, i crop from the edge and make it a little smaller so i don’t get the white border around it. and then i move the gif away from the top and right edge of the gif just by 3-5 pixels. which i already did here and then zoomed in:
next, image size. i honestly didn’t know about cropping it and then using image size for a few months when i started giffing (i don’t even know what i did back then not knowing that.)
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then as you can see, it’s 540 x 500. if you’ve cropped it to the size you want beforehand, it’ll be automatically those dimensions.
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next, we’re finally starting on colouring. i always tend to start with curves and use the middle brush on the left. the top one you use to make it darker, and the bottom you find the whitest point on the gif to make it a lot brighter. but i find the middle one colour corrects too, so it’s not too bright or dark, and is less yellow or whatever colours you don’t want.
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it depends on where you click to get this result, i’m not sure how to explain what i do but i just click all over and try to get the yellows off and the skin colour to look generally the same as what they have. most of the time, if i get this accurate enough, the rest of the colouring process is just to brighten up the gif.
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so, then after i got my desired result, we’re brightening it up because you can’t really see them all that well. i use brightness/contrast but i tend to use exposure the most.
as you can see, i am at +2.78 exposure which is crazy high (imo). but as that and the curves layer did a lot of the work for me, i mostly have the colouring i want.
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although i think it could be a little lighter, so i add a new layer of brightness and contrast this time. i don’t brighten it all that much after that. i want to make it so that either one of their faces aren’t shining, and with too much of the exposure, it can make that happen.
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next, i notice that tommy is kinda green/yellow, so i want to fix that up and make him more natural. i go to colour balance for that this time. most of the time i go to selective colour -> yellow or red, depending on how much i want to change. with selective colour, it gives you a few options in shades: cyan, magenta, yellow and black to alter, all for your specific colour.
meanwhile, colour balance changes the whole thing. since i wouldn’t mind that in this instance, i just go with colour balance.
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tommy is looking less yellow and green, but still, he’s not where i want him to be. (plus oliver’s scruff area is naturally ginger so it shows up as yellow, and i want to decrease that a little.) so i go to hue/saturation, choose yellow, and decrease it a little more.
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now, after this, i messed around with selective colour as i mentioned earlier and with the colour yellow and red specifically. but after comparing where i was at before, vs with those selective colour layers, i just liked that previous one more. so my last layer is the hue/saturation one. and i’m done colouring!
next, i go to my trusty camera raw filter to make them stand out more and be a little crispier.
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i tend to stick to + 10 up to 30, somewhere in that range. sometimes the texture and clarity match, sometimes they don’t. it’s all up to you, but for this one, i knew it would end up a little too crispy so i didn’t go too high.
i also like to add some grain so that it’s less pixelated (it admittedly annoys me a lot when it’s got those visible square pixels all over.) i never go higher than 5 in grain, it does the job well.
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after that, i’m finished with my gif!
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next, we want to export the gif.
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as you can see, the gif is less than 10mb, is set to loop for forever, and is made with selective diffusion. admittedly, i don’t think about that setting that much, but sometimes if it’s a lower quality gif, i’ll change it to selective/adaptive pattern instead. but that’s not relevant here.
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after that, we open our gif that we just made into photoshop again. this time we want to select all frames:
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and change the frame delay so it’s not as jumpy. for some reason, it automatically changes so that they alternate in frames from 0.03 to 0.07, but i want them all to be 0.05.
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now that’s the last step and you just export the gif again!
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this is the final gif!!!
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i hope this was easy to understand! thank you for the kind words, and for asking me about my process because i’ve honestly always wanted to make a tutorial. if you have any more questions, or want to see my process colouring something more difficult to work with, let me know! 🫶
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tin-wufborf · 2 days
Text
Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 1)
Okay, so listen. A few months back, I mentioned the possibility of me doing a rec list of all the Sterek fics I like to re-read (basically my comfort library), right? Well, it turns out that what I thought was going to be a list of, like, 50 fics max is now, far, far, far, FAR longer than that to the point that I don't actually even have a number to provide due to the fact that I still finding more and more to add to the list. I really hate the idea putting them all in a single post--as someone who primarily engages with this site via it's mobile app, I personally find super long lists harder to navigate, especially when you lose your place and have to start from the top--soooo, I have decided to instead release my recommendations in a series of posts containing 15-20 fics/series each instead of dumping the whole library on you at once. This post marks the first of (almost certainly) many, so I hope you all enjoy!
List and link to next part below the cut.
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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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The Boy Who Loved Wolves by orphan_account (NR | 1/1 | 1,522)
Stiles always loved the tamed wolves his tribe used for hunting. When he finds himself face-to-face with an actual wolf, an alpha no less, how will it change him? And how will his tribe react to his change? Based on Paul Goble's The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses.
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Will of the Weakness by Cheshyr (G | 1/1 | 2,248)
Whenever Derek threw Stiles into walls, he always assumed that the teenager didn't fight because he couldn't. Not once did he consider the possibility that Stiles was holding back.
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Making a Memory by beenwandering (M | 1/1 | 2,702)
Stiles was prepared for what would come after the bite. He knew what to expect and, despite his worries, he was ready for his new life. Apparently very ready. Or, “that one where Stiles can’t be anything other than Stiles, even when he’s a wolf."
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A Cottage in the Woods by FaeryQueen07 (G | 1/1 | 2,960)
“There’s a cottage,” Stiles’ mother says, and then she presses a kiss to his forehead before turning off the light.
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Tell Me, Are My Words Worth Less? by Cheshyr (G | 1/1 | 3,830)
Stiles is proud of his words. He loves to talk and tell and share and speak. And he absolutely, deep in his soul, hates his stutter.
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Little Lion Man by lyllytas (T | 1/1 | 5,029)
Sheriff Stilinski has just been fired from his job and is at a loss for his son's recent behavior. All he wants is the truth, so when Stiles comes to him with another crazy story, he's had enough of the jokes and lies. Unfortunately for him, this time Stiles was telling the truth. And Derek Hale is very protective of his pack.
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Love in the Groves series by Sheepnamedpig (3 works | T-E | 5,706)
1. The Oak Tree (E | 1/1 | 1,533) A forest spirit decides to take up residence in Derek's forest. 2. The Cherry Tree (E | 1/4 | 2,170) Derek and Stiles get married. And then they get married again. 3. The Ash Grove (T | 1/1 | 2,003) Stiles gets sick. Derek watches him carve the infection out.
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Knotting Expectations by chase_acow (E | 1/1 | 5,722)
Stiles gets an eyeful and suddenly getting up close and personal to a werewolf is all he can think about.
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go home, or make a home by lady_ragnell (T | 1/1 | 7,437)
In a world where Derek lets Scott kill the Alpha and get the cure, he has to figure out how to rebuild his life, with help from Stiles.
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Communication (And the Lack Thereof) by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (M | 1/1 | 7,687)
Sheriff Stilinski has been waiting for this day for a long time. As he watches his visitor walking up the path, he thinks about everything that's happened in the past year and his fingers twitch for his gun. But he can't do that; he can't shoot this man, as much as he might like to sometimes. Maybe he can go one worse, though.
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Integral to Survival by placeholdr (M | 1/1 | 8,529)
Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut.
“That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”
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Ten Weeks by scarletsptember (T | 1/1 | 10,024)
They say no news is good news at a doctor's office. The news Stiles gets changes everything.
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adore to see your eyes fly by 1001cranes (E | 1/1 | 11,309)
stiles is a pyromanic, derek is a sociopath. a match made in some kind of heaven. teen wolf kink meme fill.
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Blood and Bonds by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (NR | 1/1 | 20,595)
Stiles wants to lose his virginity, so Derek sets him up with a nice female werewolf at a pack mixer. Nine months later, the pack gets a rather stark reminder, and with it comes realizations, feeeeelings, and danger.
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Heat of the Moment by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (T | 1/1 | 21,320)
I'm the alpha now.
Derek never wanted the alpha power. But now he could feel the alpha power thrumming through his veins, calling to him and the those it considered pack.
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The Wolfvengers (Are Not A '90s Boyband) series by someonelsesheart (2 works | T | 23,152)
1. Angry Birds Is Not Meant To Be Taken Literally (T | 3/3 | 12,917) Derek gets that he and Stiles are kind of on a Need To Know basis, he really does, he just thinks that Stiles' godfather being in the freaking Avengers counts as pretty Need To Know. 2. The Captain America Law (T | 3/3 | 10,235) For the record, Derek is not very fond of talking about feelings, up to and including discussing his personal life, anything that has to do with Stiles, That Time With The High Heels, and games that include having to convey feelings. On a completely unrelated note, who knew that Tony Stark owned a sexy nurse's costume?
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An Exercise in Trust by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (M | 1/1 | 25,529)
Derek Hale hasn't been able to hold a steady job for quite some time, thanks to his past. When an ad is posted for a babysitting job, Derek(thanks to his experience with his large extended family) jumps at the chance to maybe start rebuilding his life.
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hyper heart alone by hito (E | 1/1 | 34,570)
When Stiles returns home to help his father recover from an injury, he discovers that things have changed somewhat in his absence: Derek is working closely with Stiles' father, around the house and underfoot, generally annoying and disconcerting Stiles with his presence.
Well, Stiles isn't sure you could call all the sex they end up having annoying, but he isn't really willing to call it anything else, either.
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By and By series by 1001cranes (3 works | T-E | 35,611)
1. hear his alibis (T | 1/1 | 6,628) creepy never looked so cute - or, how Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender. (another) pyromaniac au. 2. multiplied by seven (E | 9/9/ | 26,340) Derek isn't exactly like other people. Stiles doesn't say that because he's in love with him, or whatever. He's not like Scott, who thinks Allison hung the freaking moon, or was the first girl to ever let a guy under her bra. Derek isn't like other people. Sometimes he's not exactly sane. psychopaths in love - the story from Derek & Stiles's side. companion fic to 'hear his alibis' 3. up to the highest high (E | 1/1 | 2,643) Kate takes a day to think it over, to plan her attack. She's good on her feet, but a little preplanning never hurt anyone. And if she's going to make Derek bleed, well - she needs just the right weapon. The right words. A thousand little pinpricks and cuts, because Derek isn't the type you can cut off at the knees so easily. You have to look for that dark, hidden place to plant a seed of doubt, and Kate? Kate's good at that. "He wants to be with a girl," she says. Like poisoned honey. "Or he doesn't not want it, am I right?" You think that curiosity won't get the better of him one day?" She's got her hands on him when she says it. She feels the beating of his heart, the firmness of his pectoral muscles, because, hey, this is precisely the way she swings. And Derek might keep it pretty well tucked up under his cap, but he doesn't exactly hate the female persuasion himself. Or at least he's attracted to them. Same difference in the end. "Better the devil you know," she says, and from the way Derek's gaze narrows she's got a feeling she's won.
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Blood in the Water, Fire in the Sky: A Love Story series by ahab2692 (7 works | E | 69,750)
1. God, How Things Change (E | 1/1 | 9,056) After killing Peter Hale, Derek and Stiles have to deal with the aftermath: Scott doesn't want to forgive Derek for taking away his chance for the cure, Jackson struggles with adjusting to his newfound powers, and Lydia remains in a coma. Derek has his own demons to wrestle, and the more time he spends with Stiles, the less sure he is that he'll be able to control himself.
2. The World Spins, Regardless (E | 1/1 | 11,006) Stiles helps Derek expand his pack, and the two of them take steps forward in their newfound relationship. Meanwhile, new enemies arrive in the form of a dangerous pack of werewolves from a nearby town, as well as a pair of mysterious hunters with an unknown agenda. (Sequel to "God, How Things Change.") 3. Cracks in the Foundations (E | 1/1 | 10,107) Preparing for the oncoming war with an aggressive werewolf clan, Derek and Stiles make efforts to secure their friends' safety. Derek put the pack through a rigorous training regimen, and Stiles convinces him to form a temporary alliance with the Argents. However, no one is able to foresee a shocking loss that has a devastating effect on the pack's stability. (Sequel to "The World Spins, Regardless.") 4. The Wicker Throne and the Werewolf King (E | 1/1 | 11,241) Stiles and Lydia travel to a distant mining outpost in the woods to try and kill the Alpha of the rival pack. Meanwhile, Derek and Chris Argent struggle to ensure the safety of the pack in the aftermath of Stiles' recent loss. (Sequel to "Cracks in the Foundations.") 5. Conversation (and Carnage) (E | 1/1 | 9,096) Stiles attempts to negotiate with the Alpha. Derek attempts to negotiate with Meredith Wakefield. Hidden agendas lie beneath the surface. Everything is not as it seems. (Sequel to "The Wicker Throne and the Werewolf King.") 6. ...And Hell Followed With Him (E | 1/1 | 10,080) Stiles emerges victorious as the new Alpha. Derek and Chris Argent launch their attack on Meredith Wakefield. Stiles and Lydia return home. (Sequel to "Conversation (and Carnage).") 7. God, How Things Change (Redux) (E | 1/1 | 9,164) Stiles and Derek pay a visit to their last remaining enemy. The pack recovers in the aftermath. Everything ends. Everything begins. (Sequel to "...And Hell Followed With Him".)
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poem-i-wish-i-wrote · 8 hours
Text
Thought we kissed goodbye, right for you and I
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader Summery: Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over and If you think it's over maybe he'll be coming over again. Yes i just used the song lyrics to summarize the fic, what about it? warnings: mention of alcohol
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It’s been 7 months now. The wounds are closing you think. You don’t think of him nearly as much as you used to. Only when you wake up and when you open the contacts in your phone and when you pass through the streets and when you stay up late. Nearly not as much as before. 
You were in your living room. Lying on your sofa with a glass of wine in one hand and your phone on the other. It’s 2 am. The bottle of wine you popped open earlier in the night is only quarter full now.  You're scrolling through what seems like a thousand posts about your ex.
Charles won the Monaco grand prix today. You were unbelievably happy for him. All the photos of him on the race track, the photos of him on the podium in front of his home crowd, you know how much he wanted this. You couldn’t be more proud of him. But there’s still a knot in your stomach from wishing you could be there to cheer for him, wishing you could tell him what a great job he did or you could celebrate it with him. But you couldn’t.
7 months ago you kissed him goodbye with tears in your eyes. The breakup was mutual. You both realized it might not work in the long run. You both had different lifestyles and he couldn’t afford to be distracted. It hurt. But you let go, thinking it was the best for both of you. Now you let your phone slip from your hand. And sip on the wine again. Maybe you could call him to congratulate?
You brush the thought off. You weren’t sure if he would even pick up. And you didn’t want to ruin his night of victory. You stare at the black screen of your phone there on the tea table longingly. 
Then to your utter disbelieve the screen of your phone lit up with his name on it. You jump off the couch. You dreamed of this happening every minute in the past 7 months. But now that it’s happening you don’t know what to do.
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Charles was at a club. Celebrating his win with his team and some other drivers, his brothers and friends. He was unbelievably happy to finally win a race in his hometown. But in the blinding light of the club and the beat of the music thumping in his chest he could not shake off the feeling that something was missing.
He knew exactly what was missing. He's been thinking about it for months, 7 to be exact. He turns to where Arthur and Carlos were drinking saying that he’ll be back in a minute before walking out with his phone in his hand. With the influence of the alcohol heavy on his mind, he dialed her number before even realizing what he was doing.
He let it ring a few times. Desperately wishing she would pick up. Right when he was about to give up the call went through. He could hear breathing on the other line.
“Y/n? Are you there?” It felt incredibly freeing to say her name again.
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You held the phone with both hands as you pressed it harder against your ears, closing your eyes when you heard him say your name.
“Hey” you say a few seconds later, it comes out shaky. 
“Hi” you hear from the other side. The mixture of wine and hearing his voice after so longs makes you feel dizzy.
“Congratulations on the big win. I’m so happy for you” You managed to get out.
“ Thanks.” He replies, not quite sure what he should say next. 
“You should have been there. I really wished you were there” You hear him continue making you sink back on the couch. Your chest was hurting. 
Charles didn’t know where he was going with this phone call. All he knows is that he misses you too much to stay away. And the alcohol in his system was giving him the little courage he needed to say all the things he wished to say so many times before. 
“ I really wish you were there. It broke my heart not seeing you in the crowd. You always said I could do it. You were always there to pick me up at my worst times. It doesn't feel right not to have you by my side at my best.” 
You let out a shaky breath. “I wish I was there to cheer you on too.”
“Mon Cheri, Please give me one more chance. I don’t want to do this without you. I will make it work this time. But please, I can’t stay away from you anymore.” He blurts out. He can feel his eyes burn up.
On the other side of the phone you're already tearing up. You spend months wishing for another chance to go back. All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and sob for days.
“Y/n? Please.” His voice came pleading.
“I don’t wanna be away from you either.” You manage to say. He can tell you're crying.
“Believe me my love, let me back in and I’m never leaving ever again.” 20 mins later, the doorbell rang. You rushed to open the door and as soon as it swung open his lip crashed into your. His arms snaked around your waste. You could taste the alcohol in his lips, he on yours.
You stood there kissing messily until you couldn't breath. When you both pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. Both of your eyes closed as you breathed heavy, nose touching.
“I missed you so much, I’m never letting you go again.” he whispered against your lips.
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