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#how many times can you pick yourself up after being told you're wrong a freak or weird
weabooweedwitch · 1 year
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Can you understand why you saying 'ok well I guess my only option is to kill myself' is just more of this toxic behavior? In your other posts you were talking about how your mom doesn't deserve basic respect and that you were totally righteous in what you were doing, and when you get called out it's 'I guess I should just kill myself' as if you can't just make better choices? You chose to treat your mom like trash and you can choose in this moment to be a better person. The source of the problem is that you think certain people don't deserve to be treated with respect and you blame others for your own reactions, which are both perspectives you can easily shift if you want to. Just take ownership of yourself, put yourself in others' shoes more and reflect on the issues that cause you to react such as narcissism and borderline. I'm sorry if I'm wrong but it feels like you're acting out the 'cry' part of crybully rather than showing genuine remorse for how you treat people, just so that people will backtrack and comfort you and tell you the things you want to hear, which i'm sure many people will now because attracting enablers through pity is a classical narcissist pattern. Stop looking for an out and face yourself and your flaws and stop using this idea of 'I can't change' as an excuse to just give up because everyone can change if they really want to
I've gone to therapy for years. I've tried different medicine for years. I spent so many trips as a minor being an inpatient doing DBT for years. I've had therapists tell me my mom won't let me set boundaries and she wears me down until I do what she wants. Now I can't stand for myself without getting angry because I'm never listened to. She always told me everyone only sided with me because I lied and manipulated them? But I've never tried to do that? I've never wanted to do that? All I've ever said is how I felt. Have I just been living my entire life not knowing I was am absolute monster?
Have I just been WRONG whenever I felt like someone did something bad to me? Was everything always my fault?
I try to tell people over and over "hey please don't do this, please don't do that, hey, I keep gently reminding you I need XYZ" whether it's at work or home and I just get ignored or talked over or blamed. Even my own fucking managers are leaving sticky cans of energy drinks in my work area, my fucking managers can't even do really basic picking up after themselves when I'm literally the only night employee
I scheduled a day off to try and go with my mom to the dentist and also because I needed to go to the doctor and im only gone 2 days and I come back and everything is not only exactly where I left it, but my work was, undone by someone else shoving everything together, not separating things, literally undoing everything I spent my whole shift doing, and then I have to spend time cleaning up after them, and then I run out of shelves because they didn't work anything out, and then I'm asked "Miranda why didn't you do 5 or 6 pallets on your shift? Why is there still a bag of trash here?" And it won't even be mine
Have I just been secretly incompetent and stupid and pathetic my entire life, even as I was doing my best? Even as I was trying to be a good friend? Even as I've barely held myself together? Was I just actually being a manipulative freak that whole entire time?
Then I don't deserve to be better. I don't deserve for anyone to have sympathy. If I can try and try and nothing I can do is seeming to fix things or impr9ve things or at least help others, then my life is pointless. Then I have no worth.
I didn't even know I was lying to myself this whole entire time
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lbwings · 3 years
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A thousand times you’ve failed. But someone says to try again. Dare I?
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mypoisonedvine · 3 years
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𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 || dark!jan (the edukators/die fetten Jahre sind vorbei) x reader
𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 | in scoping out his next target, jan hadn't realised that you wouldn't be joining your family on their next vacation; in choosing to stay home, you hadn't realised what you were in for.
𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 | 4.3k
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | smut (noncon, with fingering and penetrative sex), innocence kink, virginity loss/first time, brief exhibitionism, degradation, daddy kink, spitting (in mouth and on pussy), breaking and entering/home invasion, touch of misogyny kink, slight objectification kink (petnames like babydoll/dolly being 99% of this), slight bleeding (from sex specifically), death mention (no threats, just the fear of threats if that makes sense?)
𝗔/𝗡 | you don't need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, as long as you know that jan and his friends break into rich people's houses as part of their anti-capitalist rebellion. note that the vast majority of dialogue is written in english for simplicity, but that these conversations would actually take place fully in german.
this is a DARK fic, if you hit 'keep reading' I don't wanna hear you upset about content listed clearly in the warnings section
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It’s probably normal to hear a bump in the night, to wake up and be a little freaked out, but to ultimately just stay in bed and not do anything about it. At first you were sure you were sure it was nothing, though your gut told you otherwise; then, as you heard more and more you spent quite some time convincing yourself that it was just pipes creaking or the foundation settling. But the thing about pipes and foundations is they don’t speak German.
“Hier entlang, hier entlang,” someone whispered, and footsteps shifted all along the lower floor.
Maybe you were still asleep, and this was just a strange dream, a terrifying dream. You pulled the blanket up over your head and prayed to wake up, but the denial turned to terror when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
You jumped out of bed, but it was too late to go out your bedroom door— you could hear them walking and whispering outside. Your bathroom had a small window, but even if you managed to fit through it you’d be on the second story with no way to ropel down. Maybe in your mind you could be some daring adventurer with the perfect plan to escape, or with the skills to defend yourself with something random you could grab, but you knew better than to really think you could do anything but hide.
As the footsteps and voices got louder, your eyes frantically searched the room and finally landed on the large upright dresser— maybe it was a little obvious, but it had a handy little feature that made it lock from the inside. It had come in handy for a decade of hide-and-seek, and now it would hopefully serve you one last time.
With not a second to spare, you ran over and grabbed the golden handles, swinging the doors open but being careful to shut them quietly after you’d stepped inside and made room for yourself among the coats and dresses. You searched for the lock in the pitch darkness, only able to find it because it was right above the keyhole that glowed from the dim light outside. Just as you turned the knob and heard the metal lock slide inside the wooden door, you heard your bedroom door open.
Someone walked around your room briefly, you even heard them pick something up and set it down— probably your bedside lamp, based on where it was coming from, but you obviously couldn’t be sure and frankly didn’t care that much. Footsteps approached the dresser and you saw the keyhole light up as a flashlight passed over it.
“Let’s take all the clothes and put them in the fireplace,” a voice in the room announced. “We won’t actually light the fireplace, but it sends a message.”
You covered your mouth with your hand to try to keep quiet when the doors shook briefly from an attempt to open them.
“Fuck, it’s locked.”
“Here, you go on to the next room, I’ll pick it,” a second voice decided, and you heard more footsteps as someone else approached the armoire. “Look how fancy the dresser is, they’ve probably got furs in here too— god knows people living in a house like this can’t miss an opportunity to destroy the environment.”
You heard something jiggle inside the keyhole, a clicking noise that went on for just a few moments before you heard the metal slide inside the wood again and the doors slowly opened.
A man, dressed in black and holding a flashlight in his gloved hands, stared at you from behind a mask that left only his brown eyes visible. You both stood still, staring at each other, until he did exactly the last thing you expected: he lifted the mask up to his forehead and showed you his face.
He was a lot younger than you would’ve expected, though he had the scruffy beard of a guy trying to look older; his teeth were slightly crooked when he smiled at you, and when he raised a brow while he gave you a quick look-over, you noticed the way they almost connected in the middle.
Under his gaze, you suddenly felt very aware of how little your lacy, baby pink nightgown protected you from the chilling night air.
"Well, what's this?" he asked coyly as he watched you shiver. "Guess these capitalist pigs left one of their little piglets behind." He put on a cooing sort of voice as he addressed you directly: "Did mummy and daddy leave you all alone while they went on holiday?"
He stepped closer even as you tried to shrink away, examining you carefully.
“Get out of there, silly, what are you hiding for? I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, not that you found it especially comforting. When you didn’t step out of your own accord, he grabbed your arm and roughly yanked you forward; he slammed the dresser doors behind you, and you whimpered in fear as he pinned you down against them by each arm. "Shh, hey, don't worry— I'm here to take care of you, you can call me daddy instead until your heartless banker father gets back. Go ahead, tell me what's wrong."
"I—"
"Ah ah," he tutted with a mix of bemusement and disappointment, "I already told you how to address me."
You shuddered but finally responded, "Daddy, I'm scared."
He gave you a demeaning little pout, but you continued.
"Some men broke in and I'm alone and… and I don't know if they want to hurt me."
"No, baby, they don't want to hurt you," he promised with a gentle smile, but it turned horrifically sinister as he leaned in to add with a whisper: "but we will if we have to."
You swallowed thickly, your gut twisting when you felt him breathe out against your neck.
"So you're gonna be a good girl, right?"
You nodded quickly, turning away when he leaned in closer, looking down at you with darkened eyes and running the fingers of his black gloves over the neckline of your pyjamas.
“You were just waiting for me, huh? All tucked in in your cute little nightgown, dressed up like a doll,” he grinned. “I bet you want daddy to play with you, hm?”
He laughed cruelly when you shook your head, fighting harder to get away again as he squeezed your arms tight enough to leave marks where his fingers had been.
“Wanna play, little dolly?” he continued, pressing his body into yours and roughly shoving his leg between your thighs. “I know you do… c'mon and give me a kiss," he requested.
“N-no,” you stammered, but he grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand and forced you to look ahead, slamming his lips onto yours and ignoring your muffled protests. When he pinched your side you gasped instinctively, and he shoved his tongue inside your mouth roughly— but that only lasted for a moment, before you found renewed strength and managed to shove him back. It wasn’t far enough to free yourself, but enough to get a break from the oppressive kiss.
“Aw, don’t be mean,” he pouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “You said you’d be good for me, remember?”
“Just stop, please,” you whined, gasping before you could stop yourself when he rubbed his thigh up against you— hitting right on your clit which throbbed in spite of everything. Somehow the fear made you more sensitive, or at least something had because you’d never felt quite like this before.
“See? You’re all worked up,” he explained, “I’m gonna help you.”
This time when he leaned in he started to kiss and suck at your neck instead, starting right beneath your ear and moving down slowly until his tongue laved over the crook where your shoulder began. As much as you hated it, it made arousal pulse between your legs where his thigh continued to push hard on you.
When he moved even closer, you could feel his erection against your hip; you didn’t even realise that you’d let out a gasp until you felt him smile against your neck. “Oh, babydoll… you want daddy’s cock inside you, I can tell.”
“N-no, I don’t— just stop,” you begged.
“If only it were so easy, to just ask someone to stop,” he mused. “You know how many times we asked people like your father to stop before they fucked us? You know how far that gets us? You don’t just get to ask nicely, you have to fight for it…”
He chuckled as you writhed in his embrace.
“But you’re too weak to fight, poor thing.”
"Please, I'm not a part of whatever you’re talking about,” you tried to explain, “I don't know much about what Papa does at work—"
"That's your problem, baby, you're blissfully ignorant! Not all of us have that luxury. But the good news is, I'm here to educate you." He pushed up even closer to you, speaking lowly right into your ear with rage starting to bubble up in his voice. "Your father is a piece of scum who feeds on the working class and then robs them blind. You live like this, unquestioningly, and the rest of Germany suffers. Stuck-up bitch like you wouldn't even notice me if you saw me on the street, would you? Wouldn't even give me the time of day, but now you're at my mercy. That’s what you people need to learn: that you’re not gonna be on top forever.”
Suddenly you felt his hand cup your sex through your nightgown, and you choked on your gasp. “No—!” you started to shout, but his right hand covered your mouth as the left hastily pulled your pyjamas up and reached under them.
“Stop fucking squirming,” he grunted as he reached between your kicking legs and slid quickly up your thigh. “Mm, bet you’re hiding a pretty little cunt under this nightgown— hold still, baby, you’re gonna like this.”
Finally maneuvring his way into your panties, he abruptly shoved two gloved fingers inside of you, watching closely as you scrunched your face up tight in discomfort. He thrusted and twisted them around for a bit, carelessly stretching you open as you tried desperately to squirm away; it stung a bit, and the leather of the gloves was cool and awkwardly firm against your walls. For some reason, when he dropped his free hand from your face, you didn’t try to scream again— maybe because you knew no one who cared could hear you— and you just panted heavily instead.
As quickly as he’d pushed them in he pulled them out, bringing the glove up to his mouth to take it off with his teeth with a little growl before rubbing his bare hand over your pussy again. You whimpered when he slid his fingers inside you again, this time feeling the texture of his skin as he curled the pads of his fingers right against your spot. “Yeah?” he mumbled his taunt around the leather between his teeth before spitting the glove out onto the floor. “Fuck, so warm… you’re so wet already, dolly, has nobody been giving this pussy any attention?”
He stopped moving his fingers inside you to pull out and give your clit a few slaps, licking his lips when you cried out from the sharp sensation.
“Huh?” he reminded you to answer when you never gave a response.
“N-no,” you shook your head, finally, and he smiled like he was proud of himself.
“Yeah? You’re not a virgin, are you?”
You only looked down at the floor, blinking a few times as you focused on the teal carpet, and heard him laugh darkly.
“Oh, dolly, I might break you,” he warned roughly as he pushed your gown up to your waist, ignoring your sobbed pleas for him to stop. “We don’t usually take anything from the people we visit, but if I take your virginity maybe your people will finally get the message.”
“Please— you don’t have to do that,” you stammered, rushing through whatever you could think of to make him change his mind, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. You can have whatever you want, if I call them they can send you money—”
“You aren’t even fucking listening to me, we don’t want your expensive bullshit and we don’t want your dirty fucking money!” he corrected sternly, clutching your sleeves tighter and shaking you slightly with the intensity of his movements. “We just want you to be afraid, because the revolution is coming.”
But you were afraid of something much more imminent than a revolution.
“Get on the fucking bed,” he demanded, though you couldn’t do much else considering he was already roughly tossing you onto it, climbing on top of you and pinning you down when you started to crawl back instinctively. With his legs resting on yours and keeping you (somewhat) still, he only needed one hand to grab your shoulders while the other rushed to open his jeans.
Your eyes got a little wide when you saw his cock— before that, it was almost like some part of you didn’t really think he’d go through with his, but now you could see clearly that he was hard and ready… and big enough to make you question how that thing was even supposed to fit inside you.
He tore through your panties like they were paper; he lifted and spread your legs as he sat between them and, much to your humiliation, just stared down at your pussy for a moment. You’d never felt so exposed and it made you feel worse than ever. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt,” he announced smugly, “can’t wait to see it all stretched out and covered in my come— I’m gonna ruin you, babydoll.”
You weakly struggled as he held your hips down with one hand and haphazardly stroked his cock a few times with the other, rubbing himself over your opening before pulling his hips back to spit right onto your clit. After spreading the improvised lubrication around with his head for a moment, he pushed down on it with his thumb to line up with your hole and, without any further warning, slid inside in one motion.
You bit down on your lip hard, and even that wasn’t enough to distract you from the sting; it felt like he was ripping you open, not to mention going so deep that you could feel him in your stomach.
He groaned loudly, head falling back for a moment as he started to thrust into you. “Fuck, I can tell you’re a virgin— it must be hurting you, huh?”
But the question was a bit redundant, since tears had already begun to stream down your temples and your fingers were clutching tightly onto the sheets beneath you; if they were any less expensive, they probably would’ve ripped.
“Maybe a little pain will be good for you,” he decided with a smirk, “I think a spoiled brat like you has been spared the rod a few too many times.”
It was definitely more than a ‘little’ pain, and it only seemed to sting more each time he pulled back and pushed in again— he wasn’t going very fast, yet, so that was one thing you could almost be thankful for. That said, he wasn’t very gentle either.
He hastily reached up under your nightgown to grope your breasts, quickly moving from one to the other as he squeezed them just a bit too hard. “You like how daddy plays with your tits, don’t you?” he grunted. “Say, ‘yes daddy.’”
“Y-yes, daddy,” you mumbled awkwardly; maybe being embarrassed to say that was superfluous considering everything else happening right now, but your face got warmer regardless.
A whimper almost caught in your throat when he pinched your hardened nipples, but it broke through when he seemingly-randomly gave a spank to your inner thigh.
He looked down at where your bodies were joined, where he was stretching you out with steady pumps of his cock that filled you to the brim, before reaching up to quickly pull his black sweater off over his head— a t-shirt underneath came off with it as his chest was exposed. He wasn’t unreasonably pale but he clearly wasn’t the type to get a ton of sun, and he had a thin scattering of dirty-blonde hair over some of it. It was sort of embarrassing, now, seeing how thin he was and yet he was still so much stronger than you.
"You're getting so wet, babydoll, look— you're making a mess on these expensive sheets," he grinned. And he wasn't lying; the sting of the stretch had slowly faded, replaced with a friction you actually couldn't help but enjoy. Each time he moved, he seemed to slide right over a spot that made you tighten up your legs so they wouldn't shake.
But, apparently, there was still plenty left that he could do to hurt you.
You cried out, so louder it echoed across the room, when he suddenly thrust into you hard and deep, hitting the very end of you as your body involuntarily jolted— he clapped his hand down over your mouth instantly, muffling your cries to near-silence as he set a punishingly fast pace out of nowhere. You couldn’t turn your head when you heard your bedroom door open, but you could glance to the side and see another burglar appear in the doorway, staring forward at the scene in front of him.
A new sense of shame burned inside you for being seen in such a way; oddly, it came with guilt, too, as if you were doing something wrong yourself, when really it was just something wrong being done to you. The man on top of you didn’t seem to feel much of either, though: he didn’t even slow down.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" the other man asked his partner, face still hidden but his voice a mixture of bewildered and disgusted. "This isn't how we roll."
"Fuck off, I'm almost done," your attacker scoffed. You tried to use the distraction to fight him again— you swung your arms to try to scratch his face or push him away, but without even hesitating he simply stopped covering your mouth to pin your wrists at either side of your head.
"Is this really what you think the revolution is about?" the man in the door sneered. "Or does that even matter to you when you think you might get some ass? Jesus, I always knew you were a creep but this is…" he trailed off.
"Maybe you should take a turn with her, might fix your attitude," the man on top of you suggested. "She's real tight— trust me, you'll feel better."
"I promise that raping that girl isn't gonna make me feel better, Jan," he frowned.
"Fine, then just go so I can finish and I'll meet you guys in the yard," Jan— apparently that was his name— instructed.
"Don't go," you begged the man in the door, seeing the concern on his face— you could tell he wanted to stop Jan, maybe if you asked him to, he would.
"Shut up, bitch," Jan growled, correcting you with a slap to the face.
The man in the doorway just shook his head and sighed, stepping back into the hall and shutting the door behind him. You cried harder, more sure than ever that Jan was right when he said you were at his mercy; and he didn’t seem to have much.
He fucked you rough and fast, recklessly chasing his own pleasure with no regard for yours. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel any pleasure, though… it was building, in fact, sort of like when you touched yourself but so much stronger, and deeper, and threatening to overflow at any moment. “Oh fuck, you’re close,” he noticed with a tilted grin, “you love it so fucking much, huh? Wanna cream on daddy’s cock?”
You shook your head but he slapped you again, spinning your face to the side as he held both your wrists above your head in one hand and gripped your jaw with the other.
“Stop lying,” he growled, “I can feel it, I can feel your cunt getting tighter… you’re gonna come so fucking hard for me, aren’t you, babydoll? God, what a nasty fucking whore you are…”
He held your face to look straight ahead, up at where he hovered above you and bared his teeth in a snarl, before forcing your mouth open and spitting into it. You grimaced and tried even harder to squirm away but he quickly clamped his hand down over your nose and mouth so you couldn’t try to spit it back out again.
“C’mon, swallow it,” he instructed roughly, voice a bit strained from the force it took to hold you down. You could hardly breathe with his hand this way, and when you tilted your head back to try to get away from it, you accidentally swallowed his spit with a disgusted, muffled grunt. “There you go, good girl,” he purred as he watched your throat bob a bit involuntarily, “that’s it, I know you wanna come— say it! Say ‘daddy I wanna come.’”
He let go of your mouth and slapped you again before you even had a chance to hesitate. “D-daddy,” you whined, “I… I—”
“It’s not that fucking hard,” he hissed, “just say it, you dumb fucking slut!”
One more slap was apparently all you needed to just choke it out: “I wanna come, daddy!” you cried, back starting to arch as the pressure of holding back your release became too much to bear.
“Then fucking come,” he demanded, “come for me, baby, right fucking now.”
You tried to hold out just a moment longer, just to spite him, just so you wouldn’t obey him so easily… but it only took one rough thrust right into the end of you to make it all spill over. You came with a sob, shaking and jerking beneath him for a moment before a warmth spread through you; it started right where he filled you and spread everywhere until your mind was all foggy and your fingers started to go numb— or maybe that was just because of him pinning you down at the wrists.
Much to your disgust, you could hear how wet you had become with every stroke inside you, a sickening squelching noise that made him laugh as your face tingled with numbness and burned with shame all at once. “Oh fuck, that’s it,” he praised, “naughty little dolly, making a mess on daddy’s cock with that dirty fucking cunt of yours… I’m gonna cover it in my come, are you ready, baby? Ask daddy to come on your pussy, don’t make me hit you again.”
“Daddy, please,” you mumbled quietly, “come on my pussy…”
“I can’t hear you, babydoll, you need to speak up,” he mocked.
And you were just so exhausted and overwhelmed and his thrusts inside your sensitive walls were starting to get painful again— that was why you really meant it when you sobbed through your begging: “Please, daddy, come on my pussy!”
With one more panted moan he pulled out and only had to give his cock one blur of a stroke before white, warm come began to paint over your sore opening, your swollen clit, your bruised inner thighs. “Fuuucckkk…” he groaned under his breath as he watched himself coat you, and you caught a tinge of pink from your blood on his cock and hand as he slowed down to a stop. "Sheiße," he sighed, letting go of your wrists to sit up and close his eyes for a moment before looking down again at where you were limp and splayed out on your bed beneath him. “See? I’m getting reckless, I really shouldn’t be leaving evidence…”
Even without that, you knew his name and face, but apparently he was focusing on the copious amounts of DNA he’d just left on you.
“I suppose it won’t be a problem, because you’re not going to tell anyone,” he posited, leaning down slightly to hover over you as you swallowed around the rock that had suddenly formed in your throat. “You know how I know you won’t?”
You weakly shook your head, already terrified to imagine what the answer to that question was going to be. Of course, your first assumption was that he was going to kill you, or threaten to do so if you involved the police. He knew where you lived, he could threaten your family, too: the thought made your skin crawl as he leaned down further to whisper right against your ear as you instinctively turned your face away from him.
“Because if you tell someone that I raped you,” he finally continued, “then you’ll also have to tell them that you liked it.”
Speaking right against your ear, it took him no effort at all to stick his tongue out and lick you right on it, making you squeal with fear and disgust.
He quickly hopped off the bed and recollected himself, stuffing his softening and blood-stained cock back into his pants before gathering his discarded clothes from the floor. "Your folks won't be home for two more nights, right? I should come visit you again," he winked when he spared a glance at you. “Now get some rest, baby, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll lock the front door behind me when we leave… wouldn’t want anybody unsavory getting in, now would we?”
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xbadgerbearx · 3 years
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your people will have our help
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word count: 2.1k
Can’t Sleep: [1] … [3]
Of course you had to jump out of the aircraft into the cold water. What a perfect way to start the mission. Your team swam for a bit before wading through the shore as you approached the beach.
"Congratulations, Bloodsport."
"How'd you do it, Waller? There's no soldiers out here on patrol at all."
The beach was completely empty. There were no disturbances and more importantly, no enemies anywhere to be found. It was... peaceful.
"Let's just say they were distracted."
You only walked on the sand a couple feet before a large explosion erupted.
"Control, we have a disturbance south of here," Bloodsport reported after you jumped in surprise.
"It's just a diversion, Bloodsport."
Bloodsport seemed to weigh his options before speaking, "All right, we cut through the jungle to get to Valle Del Mar."
"Don't they have blockades at the city limits?" Peacemaker interjected.
"That's the word."
"How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here," Peacemaker said while looking back at King Shark.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?"
"You're the leader. You're supposed to be decisive."
"And I've decided you should eat a big bag of dicks, how's that?"
"You're being facetious, but if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo."
"Why would someone put penises all over the beach?" Ratcatcher II asked.
"Who knows why madmen do what they do."
"Chris, this is the second time you've made a comment like this today. Is there something you want to tell us?" You joked.
"Well, you know what I think?" Bloodsport started. "I think liberty is just your excuse to do whatever you want. Whether that's to eat a beach full of dicks or killin' folk."
"Oh, yeah? At least I don't kill men for money like you."
"Oh, here we go," Bloodsport sighed as he turned to face Peacemaker.
"There's something wrong with your skin," Ratcatcher II called out as she pointed to Polka Dot Man. You turned to see his face covered in bulging colorful... polka dots.
"It's just a rash."
"Oh, my- Abner, are you okay? You don't look so good," you said worriedly as you reached your hand out to touch him. You were interrupted by another loud explosion off in the distance.
"Never mind that, we need to continue forward."
You made it quite the distance before Bloodsport dropped his bag onto the ground. The entire time walking you watched Abner with both curiosity and worry.
"Alright, we'll camp here, and tomorrow we'll go straight through the city to get to La Gatita Amable by nightfall."
Everyone was laying out their sleeping equipment, in this case sleeping bags, as you figured out where you should lay yours.
"Why don't you lay over here, (L/n)? I could keep you warm," Chris offered with a laugh.
"Fuck no," you replied with the same humorous energy. "I'd rather you not roll over on me like you did last time."
"Last time?" Abner piped up timidly.
"It's nothing like that," you assured while rolling your eyes. "Me, Chris, and some of our other teammates at the time had to huddle up for warmth after Waller sent us on a mission somewhere in Siberia."
"Oh," Abner said, kind of relieved.
"I'll just put mine here," you placed your bag next to Abner's and DuBois. "It's near the fire."
You changed into your sleep clothes. Well, to be honest you just took off your shirt and slept in your tank top, but it was close enough. It wasn't long before you drifted off, however, you awoke some time later to some shuffling sounds and a quiet groan. Peeking under your lashes, you find yourself facing toward DuBois who was resting on his elbow, alert. You quietly sat up and turned to see what DuBois was looking at. A colorful light show was dancing on the leaves and tall grass. Almost as quickly as it happened, Abner appeared. He looked a little out of it, but quickly dawned a look of shock as he was caught doing... what exactly?
You got up to make sure your favorite awkward man was doing okay before you were cut off by a loud bang! Instinctively, you disappeared. Literally. DuBois kept shooting Nanaue until he was backed up against a tree.
"How deep of a sleeper are you?" DuBois asked Cleo, to which she responded sleepily, "I was having the most wonderful dream."
"If it was you about to be eaten by King Shark, then you're psychic," Chris said.
"I don't believe he would do that. He has very kind eyes."
Sebastian was saying what you could only guess was that Nanaue was, in fact, going to eat her.
"Hungry," Nanaue whined.
"You bastard!"
Rats from every direction emerged from the darkness as Cleo held up her glowing device. DuBois was looking rather uncomfortable.
"All right, calm down with the rats!" he yelled.
"What?"
"I have a thing with rats."
"You have a thing with rats?"
"Yes."
"And you're on a team with someone who controls them?" your disembodied voice asked.
He whipped around trying to find you before yelling, "What the fuck?"
As if suddenly remembering that you cannot be seen, you revealed yourself behind Abner whom you were using as a shield. As cute as he thought it was that you were using him as protection, it did startle him that you just appeared randomly behind him.
"Partnering up with someone with rats is not something I asked for!"
Peacemaker started laughing.
"What are you laughing at me for, man? Why the fuck are you in your underwear?"
You looked over and sure enough, Chris was in nothing but his underwear.
"Woah!" you yelled while burying your face into Abner's back. "Chris, put on some pants for fucks sake!"
"Tighty-whities? Really?"
"Now that's just racist."
"No, it's not racist! They're tighty-whities!"
"You didn't tell me you had a fear of rats, DuBois," Waller said over the comms.
"I'm an assassin! Why would I share my liabilities?" This was promptly followed by an uncharacteristicly girly scream.
"Aww, he's offering you a pretty leaf to show you he means no harm," Cleo cooed.
"Why the fuck would I want a leaf?"
DuBois was getting increasingly more freaked out while Chris started laughing again.
"Just get the rats out of here!"
Cleo turned off her device and all the rats scurried back into the jungle.
Peacemaker turned to DuBois and asked, "Hey, we gonna kill Megalodouche now, or what?"
"Nanaue's the strongest member of your team. You need him to get into Jotunheim."
"Yeah, well we can't function as a team if we gotta watch our back from one of our own eatin' our bollocks," Bloodsport replied.
"Nanaue," Cleo started as she kneeled down to his height. "Would you eat your friends?"
"I no friends."
"You have no friends? Well, if you did, would you eat them?"
Chris answered with a "yes" before he was shot a look from Ratcatcher II.
"No?"
"Then can we be your friends?"
Chris scoffed, "Come on, he's obviously lying."
"If I die 'cause I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death."
DuBois shook his head, "You are a little idiot."
So much for a full rest. It was nearly morning by the time the shark incident was resolved, so you decided to just pack up and dress yourself.
"Task Force X, you have an additional mission directive. We've located Colonel Rick Flag. He's been taken by the enemy."
"Rick Flag?" DuBois asked while your team made your way through the jungle.
"I know, you both served on special forces in Qurac that took down Avral Kaddam. Flag was the one who initially recommended you."
"You had other operatives in Corto Maltese and didn't tell us?"
"There was no tactical advantage, now there is. I've uploaded the location on your MTS. Terminate his captors with extreme prejudice. Kill anyone you see. These are dangerous people. Recover Flag before moving on to the city."
You eventually made it to a decent sized camp before DuBois MTS started beeping.
"That's where they're holding Flag."
"Nothing like a bloodbath to start the day."
"I thought they called you Peacemaker," Ratcatcher II questioned.
"I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it."
Ratcatcher II turned to Polka Dot Man before whispering, "I thought you were the crazy one," which was swiftly answered by you lightly shoving her shoulder.
"I am."
"All right," Bloodsport said, getting everyone's attention. "Let's get it."
You and Nanaue crept behind a man who gave his cup to his buddy.
"Gracias," you heard the man say. Soon after, King Shark picked the man up and ate him as he started screaming. He dropped what looked to be a communication device. Nanaue smacked his mouth as the comms device went off.
"Cualquier cosa?"
As your nearby teammates looked in somewhat fear as to what to do, you picked up the dead soldier's comms and said "Nada, Señora" while perfectly mimicking his voice. Your team carried on.
You hastily turned yourself invisible as you scouted for Rick Flag. It took a couple of minutes but you managed to find the only white guy there. You assumed he was Rick since he was injured, but were they... laughing?
"Bloodsport," you whispered into your comms. "I found Rick Flag. He was laughing?" You sounded unsure.
"Most likely drugged," Peacemaker said. "Where's he located?"
"Northmost tent, past the watchtower." Right after you said that you saw a bunch of colorful polka dots disintegrate the watchtower.
"On our way."
You could hear some of your team's conversation as they approached your location. You made yourself visible again.
"I'm sorry it's so... flamboyant."
"It looks cool," you heard Cleo say.
"I don't like to kill people, but if I pretend it's my mom, it's easy."
"TMI, mate," said DuBois.
More laughter could be heard inside the tent as Bloodsport ripped open the tent curtain. An uncomfortable silence settled.
"DuBois?"
"Hey, Flag."
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Bloodsport looked around confused. "Waller told us that you were... uh... are you drinking tea?"
Flag gestured to his female companion sitting across the table from him, "This is Sol Soria, she's the leader of the freedom fighters, the resistance trying to take down the current government. They-they saved my life."
"Oh. Wow."
Everyone put down their weapons.
"Why did my people not alert me of your arrival?"
You awkwardly hide yourself behind Abner again.
"We didn't see any people," Bloodsport swiftly lied.
"Yeah, I didn't see anybody on the way..." Peacemaker continued.
"There's no one out there."
"They were gone when we got here."
"I turned them into my mother in my head and killed them."
Everyone turned to look at Polka Dot Man. You just sighed and smacked his shoulder. To make matters worse, King Shark hacked up... was that a finger with a wedding ring? Sebastian squeaked out an audible "Uh oh."
Soria promptly lunged off the table and made her way outside. You and your team awkwardly stood amongst the destruction you caused while Flag and Soria looked in pain.
"Typical Americans. Just run in, guns blazing."
"I know, this is messed up. These guys, they're..."
Rick looked behind him to see Peacemaker and Bloodsport getting into a stupid cat fight, while Ratcatcher II was rubbing her face ashamed, and you and Polka Dot Man were looking off into the jungle having your own conversation and not even paying attention.
"They're fucking idiots, but right now our objectives aligh with yours. If Jotunheim contains the technology our intelligence says it does, then it could be used on the people of Corto Maltese as well as Americans. That's why we need your help to get into the city so we can stop 'em."
Soria just stared past Flag and asked, "Is that rat waving at me?"
Sure enough, Rick turned back around to see Sebastian waving at them. Cleo was messing with her hands, Chris and DuBois were looking around while tapping their feet, and you were admiring Abner's polka dots on his costume as he was awkwardly trying to accept your compliments.
"It appears it is."
"Why?"
"I'm gonna guess because it's friendly."
Soria thought for a moment, weighing her options, before speaking again.
"Luna and Suarez murdered my entire family. I'd make a deal with the devil to stop them." As if it physically pained her to say, she continued. "Your people will have our help getting to Vall Del Mar to apprehend this Gaius Grieves."
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majesticarlette · 3 years
Text
Gang of Secrets
Miraculous Ladybug + Reader | ONE SHOT
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"Marinette, are you okay?" You touched Marinette's shoulder and looked at her. She turned to you and gave you a forced smile. "Yeah! I am! Just currently so busy with what I'm working on. Yeah! I'm alright!" She rambles as she finds a way to say her excuses. "Are you sure--" "Yes! I am!" She yelled interrupting you, you were surprised at the sudden outburst which Marinette noticed and drop her apologies.
As you were going to say your response, screams and loud disturbance were heard. "It's an akuma attack! We have to hide!" You yelled taking her hand but she quickly retracts it. "(Y/n), wait, I-I think we should split up, so that the villain won't catch us both." Marinette voiced and sprints her way out of the school building.
'Oh right, superhero duties, how could I forget.'
You hid inside the bathroom and waited for Ladybug and Cat Noir to defeat the villain on your phone screen. You sighed in relief when they finally defeated the villain, you got out of your hiding spot and started looking for Marinette before she gets away.
As Chat Noir's about to trick Ladybug to go with him to watch a movie, your voiced were heard searching for Marinette. The troubled and distracted Ladybug came to her senses, she told Chat Noir her excuses and flee the scene. She transforms back and looked for you as well, pretending she has been looking for you everywhere. Little did she know about your awareness of her secret identity.
"Marinette! There you are I've been looking for you. Are you alright?" You asked concerned about her, your question seemed like you're referring to the akuma attack earlier but the truth is that you're worried about her the entire time. Ever since Queen Wasp was defeated, you witnessed the scene where Ladybug became the new Guardian of the Miraculous. You knew how stressful it was to Marinette to have a double life being Ladybug, despite knowing all of this: you never confessed being aware of who she is. "Yes, I am fine! I'm glad Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated the villain." She puts on a smile and was quickly replaced with a frown as she remembered something. "I have to go! I forgot I have something to do--" As she was going to chant her excuses, you interrupted her. "Marinette, calm down." "I'm sorry! I really need to do something!" She's really stressed and troubled from what was all happening. Being a hero is never easy, now that she's looking after the Miraculouses; many danger lurks from Shadow Moth that made her so paranoid. This made you leave no choice, you have to tell her what you know to let her know that someone understands her.
"Look, I'm going to confess something and it's very important." You looked at her seriously as she was stunned by your statement, she was hesitant at first but she gave in. "Can we go to your house, it's really confidential." You added and she agreed.
You're both at her patio leaning on the railings. "Look, I know why you broke up with Luka." You spoke, Marinette was surprised with what you said as she was about to speak, you interrupted her. "I am serious Marinette, I know who you are." You added, and before you let her freak-out you continued what you were saying. "Don't freak out, it's not your fault. No, I didn't see you detransform nor transform into your other business. If you noticed, I'm always wearing this charm." You held your charm attached to a necklace. "May it be as a necklace, earring or anything. This charm somewhat nullifies miraculous magic." Marinette was speechless with what you said. "H-how? That's impossible." "It isn't, this charm was made centuries ago and was passed down to my family to protect us from dangers when a miraculous is in the wrong hands. It's the only charm, I think." You answered.
"If that charm may nullify miraculous magic, then all this time..." "Yes, I was able to see through what's beneath the mask little by little. It took sometime, but there were hints. I could only see you from afar as LB so I couldn't really distinguish who you are, but when I saw you a couple inches away the charm worked it's way and slowly nullified the magic of the miraculous which hides your identity. A simple mask and a suit won't protect your identity, silly. It's the magic of the miraculous." Marinette was shocked. "Then, you could also see Shadow Moth's real identity." She looked at you with hope. "That's the problem, it's hazy. I can't fully see who he is, I haven't met him yet. The charm can't give us what we want right away, it took more than a month to know who you are you know, and maybe it's because I also knew you personally which made it pretty easier to decipher." You answered.
Marinette was about to utter her reply when she heard voices inside her room. She went down and saw Rose about to see inside her dollhouse. She quickly went down and blocked Rose from seeing it. "Don't touch that, move away!" She pushed Rose, which made the cheery girl drop the roof of the dollhouse and broke it. Everyone gasps which made you peek from the patio, 'It's our girl friends'. You refuse to reveal yourself, it might make the girls sulk. "I'm sorry, Marinette." Rose kneels to pick up the broken roof. "Will you please leave my room?" Marinette declares as she showed annoyance to the group. "Chill out, Marinette. It's just a dollhouse, we'll totally help." Alya responded. "No you won't! Please go!"
As the group tries to help Marinette to voice out her problems, the dark haired girl lashes out on them and told them that she doesn't want to be friends with them and told them out. The saddened group left and you finally went down in her room to accompany Marinette. The kwamis were surprised by your appearance and tries to hide but Marinette assured them you're aware. "I had no choice, I had to do it." Her eyes are swollen, she really tried her best to keep her loved ones safe. "We know, Marinette. Someday, they'll understand why you had to do it, but lashing out on them wasn't the best thing to do." "At least now I won't have to lie anymore--" She voiced out between her cries and you cut her off. "No, Marinette. You mustn't think about that." You hugged her and let her cry.
When talking to Marinette about her issues, the both of you were interrupted by your phone, it was your mother telling you to go home. You bid each other goodbye which leaves Marinette into working on the Miracle Box's safe.
At home, you were browsing through channels when the news came up and reports a strange phenomenon about the Eiffel tower. "What happened?" You looked outside from your window and saw what was happening: it was the girls, they were akumatized by Shadow Moth. "Oh no, they must be after Mari." You closed the curtains and called Marinette but she wasn't picking up, you left a text and continued watching the news to have updates on what was happening.
After some time when the villains were defeated, you received a text from Marinette. She was asking you to visit her in their house. You prepared your things and went on your way. You climbed up, knocked, and opened the door to Marinette's room. You saw Alya and the kwamis which made you smile. "You finally told her, huh? I'm happy for you." "Thank you, (Y/n)." She hugged you. "Wait, (Y/n) knew?" Alya crosses her arms. You explained to Alya how it happened and what happened earlier at the patio which she understood and cleared things up.
"So, that's why you haven't gotten akumatized yet." Alya realizes. "That's cool! Then, you also know Chat Noir." She added. "I-I dont! Yet.." You quickly answered. "Mm-hm. Then it's pretty risky for you, huh? Keeping LB's secret identity to the public." Alya said. "It is, there were times where I had to take off my charm and I'm afraid someone will get akumatized and get me, like Truth or Queen Wasp." Alya hugged you and told you that you are a true friend, the both of you noticed Marinette in deep thought. "Hmm... The charm protects you from being akumatized." "What is it, girl?" Alya asked.
"I think I know what we should do next."
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Text
Beautiful?
A Halstead!Sister
'But they don't know. They don't know what it's like to be you. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for.
A body nobody wanted.'
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Warnings : eating disorder, body insecurities, body dismorphia
Requested : Yup, by anon , 'could u do a fic where she has an eating disorder? and doesn’t tell jay but then one day she passes out at school and has to tell him?'
Word count : 1.7k
Note : this took too long I don't know why 😭but yall Guess who's thankful that yall bear with my English ? me. :) and ps this is my first request!! And yall please please know that all of you are so freaking beautiful and worth fighting for. Know that you are loved and it is never, ever weak to ask for help.
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The constant pain and sleepless nights were paying off. Your eyes sparkled when you saw your new numbers. It was working.
You took your diary, crossing out breakfast on the to do list after eating a banana.
This was going to be simple. check what you eat, check your weight and repeat . You knew that if you tried really hard, you would be the one in control.
Control. That's all you wanted. Such an easy, yet painful thing.
You looked to the mirror, as your hands hovered over your ribs sticking to the skin . You'd never felt so beautiful in your life. But your eyes roamed down to your thighs. The flesh of your legs were touching. It wasn't enough.
It was never enough.
'' Y/n , come on ! Move your ass! I need to get to work!! '' Jay shouted for you, from downstairs.
'' Shut uppp I'm comingg'', you yelled back.
Ever since your mom had died, dad always kept to himself leading you to stay with your brothers. It had become a routine. Jay  would drop you off at school and Annie's mom would give you a ride home.
Lucky for you , Jay was constantly busy with cases. He hadn't noticed your new diet or the mood swings.
**************************
Your teacher had started the lesson. And slowly you sensed something wrong. Your head was pounding. God why is she so blurry? You look to Anne sitting next to you and she's Blurry too. You felt your body giving up to the swaying ground.
'' y/n!! '' Annie shreiked as your limp body crashed to the floor.
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'' Chuckles!? '' Trudy called out,climbing the stairs to intelligence. "Do I look like a cocktail waitress to you? Where have you been??"
"Morning to you too, sarge" Jay sighed. "and its detective"
" Well , Detective , Y/n fainted at school and wanted you to pick her up"
"What ?" he asked shocked, aldready beginning to pick up his jacket.
"Sarge" he said, looking to Voight for approval, although he would leave nonetheless. "Go."
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"Mr. Halstead" the school nurse addressed him, as he entered the clinic.
"Call me jay. Y/n, are you okay? what the hell happened?" he asked you worried.
You had never fainted before and apart from the flu every couple of years, you had a clean bill of health, as far as he knew.
"Jay, I promise I'm fine. Just got a little dizzy, that's all" you answered knowing how overprotective he can get. Now all you could hope for was that he would let this slide.
"I tried getting some food in her but she told me she was fine" the nurse explained to Jay.
God No. the the salad she offered you had so many calories.  you had made too much progress nothing was going to stop you especially a simple fainting episode. It was a minor setback but you were sure you could continue your weight loss diet.
" What, WHY? " he questioned, but just  as you were thinking of a better reply " You know what, I'm gonna take her home." he interrupted your thoughts as he spoke to the nurse.
" Only if you are sure, you're good"
" I am Jay. One hundred percent." you replied, happy to skip the rest of the school day.
It's not like you've been paying attention any ways. You'd zone out a lot during class and  your constant hunger and cramps didn't help either. But you drowned these feelings away with small sips of water and occasional slices of cucumbers.
You Craved the Emptiness. the feeling of being lighter. The feeling of being....... perfect. It was intoxicating.
Taking your school bag, Jay wrapped a study arm around your shoulders , guiding you through the school corridors and towards his truck.
"God, I can't wait to go to bed", You said climbing the truck and fastening your seat belt.
"Yeah right. I'm taking you to med" he stated. "WHAT? Jay, what the hell ? I told you, I'm fine!!"
You knew Will was working and didn't want either of your brothers to know about your new diet or how much weight you had lost. It was too late to quit. The disgusting image in the mirror was slowly getting better..... getting thinner, prettier.
"You've never fainted before Y/n, and I promise I'll get Will to run the exams and do all the tests" he assured you.
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"Y/n, I thought I told you I never wanted to see you here again.", Maggie greeted, pointing a finger at you.
"Awwww  but I missed you", you pouted, " No don't do that. your brother's waiting in treatment room 3 so you better get going." she instructed and you dropped your school bag near the nurses station.
You and Jay enter the room, to a very worried Will. "Y/n, what happened?" he asked , gesturing you to sit on the bed.
"did you hit your head when you fell? Did you fall in the bathroom or something like that?", he continued, not giving you time to answer.
"what did the nurses say? are you stressed about school?" " Will-", you interrupted his rambling " I'm fine, just..... got a little dizzy."
You watched , as he took his pen light to your eyes. "Ah! Will, stop!!" You said, trying and failing to refrain him.
"You know, it'll be easier if you stop squirming" Jay commented with a smug smile. "Your not going anywhere"
"Shut up" you groaned.
You need to get out of here. What if they gave you food. What if they found out you were hungry all the time. They'd never stop making fun of you. They'd tell you that you were overreacting and that all this was so unnecessary.
But they didn't know. They didn't know what it was like to be you. They didn't have floppy arms or fleshy thighs. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for. A body nobody wanted.
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"Jay" Will called out, seeing him outside your room. It had been a couple of hours since you were bought in.
Will had ordered some tests, being the ass he was.
Wonderful. You just hoped that all the tests would be normal and you could get the hell out of there.
"yeah man? just needed to text Hailey, Why, what's wrong?" Jay asked, studying the worried expression on his brother's face
"It's Y/n. "
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You were fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt when your brother's walked in, staring at you, as if you were a ghost.
"Y/n," Jay croaked out his voice laced with dread, "how long?"
No. No. No. This can't be happening. God, you knew that they were going to hate you forever.
"what the are you talking about?" you needed to try to get them to back away."Is something wrong?"
They were standing on either side of your bed. Jay came closer and sat down on your right the beside your knees, eyes never leaving yours.
"Your tests-" Will started, "They came back showing you have severe deficiencies. That your body is struggling to survive. That it's not getting enough food." he broke away from your gaze.
"We um-" Jay, as if almost on queue, continued."We looked through your school bag and found your diary. "
You sucked in a sharp breath and shook your head. No. He knew. They knew.
All your calorie counts, the amount of calories you can have in a day, your research on diets, workouts, to do lists, hell, even your Period Tracker was written down. (although you barely had it anymore)
That book was the reason you were finally becoming happy with yourself. Your body.
'I'm sorry', you mouthed "I'm so, so sorry" This was it. Your voice hitched, as tears flowed down your cheeks. "I was finally happy"
In an instant, your brothers were by your side.
Jay engulfed you into his chest, your words circling his mind. 'Finally?' God, you lived together! You were his sister! His baby sister! How could he have let this happen to you? How could he not have noticed that you were drowning? That you were starving yourself. What kind of brother was he?
Will rubbed your back, until your sobs became quieter. He was a doctor. A damn doctor! God knows how long this has been going on, but at the end of the day.... he failed. He failed to be there,..... when you needed him.
"Y/n, you don't have to do this. You're beautiful Y/n. You really are. And I'm sorry that anyone else has convinced in otherwise" Jay breathed out, hoping you heard him, in his embrace.
"It felt good, Jay" your voice was muffled by his shirt, but to your brothers, your voice was loud and clear.
"Did it?" You turned to Will, "Did the hunger feel good?" his heart broke saying the words out loud.
'Yes', you wanted to answer. Of course it felt good. You were getting so many compliments from your friends at school. Boys started acknowledging you now.
It was like you finally existed. You felt...... worthy.
But with all the strength you could muster up, you couldn't get the words out. Because there was always one voice that told you to quit. The voice you'd been drowning out for so long. The voice that told you, that you were in fact, beautiful.
Your mother's.
"No" you said, realizing that Will had tears in his eyes as well.
But you couldn't find a hint of shame in them, no matter how much you searched. Instead, you were met with the immense worry and guilt of your brother.
"We can help, Y/n" Will said, as he took your hand in his, "We will help and we'll be there every step of the way."
"Every step" Jay assured and you turned to him. "All you need to do, is let us in"
You weren't prepared for this. You had no idea what to say.
You didn't want to feel tired all the time, always craving for food. But the idea of going back - back to all that shame - that's what scared you.
"Y/n," Will spoke up, seeing as you were struggling to answer, "I promise you, we are going to make you feel better...... and we'll fight those thoughts of yours together."
You took a shaky breath.
Thoughts.
Your thoughts.
You had let them consume you for a long time now. Too long. maybe..... Maybe the right voice to follow, was your mothers'. "okay-" you sobbed, "okay", and once again you found yourself in Jay's arms.
You, clinging to him like your life depended on it and him holding you tight, because it did. His hand rested on your head, tangled with your hair.
Will saw a tear make its way down his brothers cheek, something he hasn't witnessed often.
Your brothers sat silently, listening to you cry. Taking in the conversation, only having a glimpse of the pain you were in.
You had a long, long road ahead but as you sat in your brother arms, you felt a sense of peace, comfort maybe.
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Masterlist
296 notes · View notes
lustbile · 3 years
Text
To Provoke
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Incubus!HaechanxReader
Word Count: 4.4K
Warning: dom-ish haechan, semi public (alley way), oral&fingering, biting, blood consumption, & can maybe be interpreted as degrading but not really
notes: a resounding thank you to whoever gave haechan curls and horns im in love with you nct stylist person. I wrote this all today and it made me stupid so I will try to go through and do more editing. Also not that I think anyone would, but I made the edit for this, horns and all, and im asking politely no one repost it, i know it’s not the most extravagant edit but im asking u pls.
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You were trying to provoke him.
You were always trying to provoke him.
Everything you did, every move, blink, sigh, and turn was an attempt to pull him from the shadows.
To admit you’re addicted to him is embarrassing, degrading even, especially with the way it fills his chest and wild eyes with hunger and pride. His ego was one thing that never needed to grow, big enough to fill every nook and cranny of the universe, but something about the way your pretty eyes would glitter at him in awe pushed it over the edge in free fall.
The outfit you chose to wear was maybe a bit too revealing for the weather, the nipping cold dancing along your shoulders and thighs in a way that makes your stomach clench and your teeth chatter. But it was the same outfit you had worn on the night you had met him, the outfit that his greedy fingers tugged and pulled on to get access to your skin, and it still had the smallest of tears in the seem from his impatience that night.
But it got you attention, and that's what mattered in the end.
He had always had a jealous streak, something he’d deny sharply if you had the nerve to accuse him, but that didn’t change the fact that some of your best nights with him were spent after he showed up to remind you that your body and skin were for him only. And that jealousy was the exact thing you needed to get him to show his face again.
It had been far too long since you had felt him last. You had no clue where he could have possibly ran off to for such a long time, but that didn’t stop the fire that was building in your belly. And no matter how many times you tried, your own wandering hands were never enough to quench your body’s thirst like he could.
The man you spoke to at the club meant less than nothing to you, even when you felt his growing excitement pressing against your back when you agreed to dance with him. The sloppy kisses you allowed him to press against the skin of your neck felt no different than just air as your mind was too distracted by the man that had taken ownership of your heart and soul so long ago, regardless of his absence.
It didn’t feel long before the lights became too bright, the alcohol that sloshed in your cup too bitter for your tongue, and the smell of the strange man too stale and unfamiliar. But when you pushed away from his chest and checked the time on your phone, while you ignored his grumbled complaints of you being a tease, you saw that it was only a handful of minutes past midnight.
You had stayed out much longer than that before, much later in fact and with glee, but something in your chest, a heavy and daunting weight, was pulling you towards the entrance on unsteady feet and a taunting disappointment on your shoulders.
Your mind still felt muggy even after you broke away from the stuffy environment of the building, but you brushed it off as a combination of the minimal alcohol you’d consumed and the angry unsatisfied monster that had made home in your gut.
You had enough of a head on your shoulders to scan your purse for your pepper spray and pocket knife before you decided that maybe the short walk home would help clear your mind and disappointment. It was still cold, your icy fingertips begging for a uber or cab instead, but you were hoping the biting chill would help calm down whatever lustful beast you had become because of a man you couldn't even contact.
Your legs felt too heavy to carry with every step you took, your neck feeling like your necklaces were made from tons of lead instead of whatever cheap metal the random online store you had ordered them from used. You were grateful that the only company you had on the back streets you had chosen to take were the flickering street lamps and the skittering rats you could hear in each alley you passed.
You could almost taste the relief of the cheap bottles of wine you had stashed in your kitchen paired with a trashy netflix horror film when you turned onto your street, your apartment building somehow looking inviting with its old brick and foggy windows as it sat on the corner. The only thing stopping you from kicking off your heels and making a run for it being the memory of one of your less than polite neighbors dropping a large glass vase and not feeling any need to pick up the broken pieces before leaving for the day.
Instead you grit your teeth to help bear the pinching of your shoes, and break into a quick and awkward jog down the desolate stretch of sidewalk. Your eyes watering as you're met with icy air.
Peace and warmth and cheap familiar alcohol is only a few strides away when you hear it. To anyone else in the city it would have been no different than the sounds of an everyday creature scavenging in the trash for food, but you had lived here long enough to know what's a rat or raccoon or, in this case, a cat.
It was a stray you had befriended long ago, one that could climb and duck into your conveniently opened balcony door for a bowl of food and a scratch behind the ears. It was just a sweet little boy that was grey and covered with scratches and scars, but due to a no pet policy had to be kept labeled as a stray and a secret to your landlord.
You huff in frustration, assuming he would have been curled up on your couch when you returned home and not chasing rats in the alley next to your building, but he had always been mischievous from the day you met him. So with the hope that you could block his image from the security cameras, you turn and head into the dim light of the small alley.
You had lovingly dubbed him Oscar when you came home more than once to your trash can tipped over and learned he had a special love for garbage, and that name along with some weird chattering cooing left you mouth as you tried to coax him from whatever trash can he was creating chaos within.
Your teeth were already gritted and you back stiff as the playful feline found enjoyment in jumping out and scaring you in times like this and you assumed this time would be no different as his evilness seemed to only raise as it got deeper and deeper into the night. So you were already mentally prepared for an attack from an overly excited ball of fur, what you weren’t prepared for was a voice.
“What are you doing out so late?” the voice was gruff and slightly accusatory and made you all but jump completely out of your skin. And as you whip around in circles to try to find the face that the words feel from, you see your love and joy Oscar jump from the tallest trash can and scale the fire escape up to scramble back into your home like a guilty teenager that was caught by their mother.
“I asked you a question,” this time the words were followed by strong hands gripping your shoulders and a shrill yelp escaping your throat.
Your hand was pushing into your purse for at least one of your weapons as you squat to get out of the person's hold and turn to see their face, the grinning and prideful boy behind you washes you with a wave of relief before stabbing at you with annoyance.
“Haechan, what the fuck,” you whisper harshly as you pull your hand from your purse and stand up straight, your now free hand now moving to jab a rough finger into the dip of his chest, “how many times? How many times have I told you to not fucking sneak up on me like that. I know the pepper spray can’t hurt you and a stab wound would heal in like five minutes but that doesn’t mean I want to stab you, idiot.”
“Why not?” his head jerks back as if you said something dumb like the sky wasn’t actually blue or he wasn’t really the sexiest man to live, something that just has no logic behind it in the slightest, “like you said it would heal so maybe we could try, might be kinda hot.”
He punctuates his words by grabbing you roughly by the waist, his other hand wrapping gently around your neck before he pushes you against the rough brick behind you, the permanent evil glimmer in his eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Do you ever get tired of being an absolute freak?” you thinly veiled insult doesn’t pack as much of a punch as you had maybe hoped, but when he begins to mouth at the skin of your jaw and cheek you can’t really find it within yourself to care.
“Well isn’t that why you like me?” he asks rhetorically as he starts to nip light bruises in the spots that blur your vision, “freaky me must be your favorite, because otherwise you wouldn’t be dressed the way you are.”
He’s no wrong, not even in the slightest, but the confident way in which he says it is enough to make you want to lie, “wanting you and liking you are two different things, no one ever said I liked you.”
“Oh but you want me,” the way in which he takes everything you say in strides without even batting an eye is bit infuriating, but the way his fingers tighten against your neck and push into your jugular is enough to make you melt against him, “that’s what you said so for once that’s not me putting words into your pretty little mouth. But don’t say you don’t like me, that’s a dirty lie and we both know it.”
“You don’t like when I lie?” you pout at him, trying to pull more and more reactions from him, “but some of your favorite things I say are lies, like how big you are and how well you fuc-“
“Alright that’s enough of you,” he interrupts, his fist tightening that much more and his other slipping from your waist to reach under the hem of your dress, a satisfied growl and his tongue pressing into the inside of his cheek being his reaction when he realizes the underwear he was grabbing for wasn’t there, “I’ve had to watch you prance around all night, letting a low down dog of a man touch you. And for what? My attention? Baby, you already have my attention.”
Your words stutter violently, the only sounds coming from your throat are whines and gasps as his fingers slip between your thighs and glide against the dampened skin, never staying on your clit long enough to give you the pleasure you need but enough to make you squirm.
“You were watching me?” you finally gasp out, before it clicks in your brain how dumb of a question it was. He told you a long time ago that he always will keep an eye on you, and knowing what he is and the things he can do, you had no reason to not believe him.
“I always am my pretty baby,” he coos before pressing teasing kisses to your open mouth, seemingly tasting and feeding off of every little noise that slips out, “and it hurts to see you let such a nasty man touch you where only I should. You didn’t even notice him following you out of that trashy club did you, silly thing?”
You jerk back as much as you can with the way he holds you, eyes widening at the news that you were apparently being followed without your knowledge. Every emotion that swims in your brain feels like its fighting for dominance, but with the way he chooses to dip his middle and ring fingers just barely past your entrance you’re struggling to cling to just one.
“God, you are so lucky to have me aren’t you? Who else would take care of creeps and make you feel good hm?” he tilts his head as he speaks, his breath warm against the side of your face before his tongue dips to lick at the shell of your ear, “no one can make you feel the way I do can they?”
“No,” you finally answer after a moment, the word coming out as an airy breath as his fingers finally sink in all the way. He wastes no time before curling them and pressing at the spot that makes your knees buckle, “please Haechan, need you so bad.”
“Oh is that one of those infamous lies of yours you were talking about?” he pulls away slightly, but shows no interest in slowing the motions of his hand, “well it can’t be can it? I can always tell you know? Can hear the way your heart picks up when you lie, much different than the way it does when you’re about to come for me.”
His wrist starts to move faster, the heel of his hand finally pressing and rubbing against your clit as the muscles of his forearm start to strain. The telling signs of your orgasm feel too sudden, too fast, and with his hand still constricting the blood that tries to flow to your head all you can do is let your eyes roll as your breathing comes out as small puffs.
“But since you’ve asked so nicely,” you can only let out a pathetic cry when he pulls his hand away from you suddenly, your lack of oxygen being the only thing stopping you from letting out a scream loud enough for the whole block to hear as he denies you of any stimulation. All you can do is let out incoherent babbling and whines as your hands reach up to dig your nails into the leather jacket protecting his forearms.
He releases your neck, your skin burning from the friction and the sudden amount of oxygen and blood returning to your head making you dizzy. And while your eyes roll as they try to refocus and your heart rate begins to slow to normal, he grabs your wrists and pushes your weakened form to be flush against the wall thats scrapes against your exposed skin.
“You are by far the best thing ive ever tasted,” he mutters, not concerned with whether you heard him or not, before his mouth latches to the side of your neck. He seems to find the most interest in the finger prints he left behind, as he pulls the tender skin between his sharp teeth and works to create a bruise that won’t leave you for another week.
Regardless of denying you a proper release, he considers himself to still be a generous guy. As his tongue lays flat against the burning skin of your neck, he starts to kick at your feet until your clumsy legs are falling apart wide enough for him to press his thigh against your skin, and in the exact way he predicted, you can’t help but to begin grinding helplessly against him.
One of the main reasons the dress that you currently wear is one of his favorites, is the neckline. Low enough to show the expanse of your chest and just enough of your cleavage to make him salivate. He’s as transparent as glass with this love, especially as he mouth travels down between your collarbones and sternum.
You can hear a quiet pop in the fabric of the neckline when he bites down and begins to pull it with him as he sinks down to the floor, the huff you let out being both in frustration from him further ruining a nice dress and your impatience.
The straps dig harshly into the skin of your shoulders before they give and fall, the sudden lack of support making it easier for Haechan to take the fabric and expose your chest to the cold air.
The look in his eyes when you look down is mean and predatory, you fear one day he’ll snap and consume you whole, but for today he settles for wrapping his swollen lips around your nipple and sucking harshly.
Your hips quicken involuntary, broken moans filling the empty alley as you twitch and squirm in his hold. He seems to grow irritated at your impatience as he shoves your wrists back harshly, his knuckles audibly scraping against the brick.
“You can never be patient to save your life,” his head tilts forward and he presses his forehead against your sternum with a huff before he’s leaning back up to press a sloppy kiss against your panting mouth, “you’re lucky I missed you so much or otherwise you’d be in for a lot longer of a night.”
He keeps your wrists trapped in his hold as he moves to kneel on the ground, the rough and dirtied pavement doing nothing to help the tears that already litter his jeans.
You feel your face flush when he lets go of one wrist and uses his newly freed hand to shove the hem of your dress up and around your hips, and the burning beneath your skin only worsens when he leans forward and breathes deeply with his nose pressed against your pubic bone.
He leans back for a moment, his hand wrapping around the bend of your knee to pull your leg to rest on his shoulder and you feel your shoulder sting from the wall cutting into your skin from him moving you like a doll.
“Haechan,” you whisper his name out with a pout that you hope will get you exactly what you want, but you can only huff and petulantly twitch when he begins nipping and licking at the skin on the insides of your thighs.
His teeth are sharper than most, and he usually airs on the side of caution because he’s aware of this. His bites are gentle for the most part, but when you begin to peak in your feelings of impatience, you can’t help the way your hips begin jerking forwards in search of his tongue.
His palm pushing against your hip is his first warning, a generous one in his opinion, but when the warning seems to fly completely over your pretty little head he has no other choice but to lean forward and sink his teeth into delicate skin at the bend of your thigh.
You cry out for a second before you’re tucking your lip between your teeth. It stings terribly, the skin breaking around his teeth burns but you can’t stop the way you revel in the sharp pain. And at the exact same moment you taste the metallic ting of the blood falling from your bitten lip, you feel the same warm thick liquid drip from the wounds he’s created and straight into his grinning mouth.
More blood falls freely when he pulls his teeth from your flesh, his warm tongue flattening against the injury immediately to catch as much of the liquid as possible.
He laps at it for a moment, savoring as much of the taste of your life source as possible, before he starts at the bottom of the bite mark and drags slowly up.
Once his tongue moves off the wound, he continues across your skin. The moment he hits your labia, you let out a gasp and jerk against him again, your mind completely erasing the fact that the bite was meant to be a punishment for that exact thing.
He seems to have forgotten him wanting you to remain still, as he doesn’t hesitate in the slightest until his licking across your stil swollen bundle of nerves.
He moans as the flavor of your arousal mixes with the still lingering taste of your blood, the vibrations shooting straight up your spine and making you shiver.
He tilts his head up to smile at you, his eyes shining as he grabs your hands and moving them to thread into his curled hair.
“Why are you shivering?” he asks with a faux concern, his right hand smoothing over your thigh before pushing between your legs to return his fingers to their spot inside of you, immediately pumping and curling them slowly, “are you cold or something? Maybe it’s because you’re in such a skimpy little dress?”
You groan out in annoyance at his playful act, your eyes rolling back but for once not in pleasure. It’s not until he starts to proudly giggle to himself do you exploit the hold you have on the back of his head to push him back to your body.
You fear that being shoved around may be the exact thing Haechan would have wanted, when he happily moans before latching his lips to your clit again, but the pleasure that melts your muscles erases any need to call him out on his deviousness and perverted enjoyment.
He seems happy with your moving hips when they start to move against his waiting face. Your fingers mindlessly and desperately tug at his scalp as your head tilts back and thumps against the wall.
The hand that isn’t pressed deeply inside you slides across your hip, his callused fingers making goosebumps run up your arms as they push into your lower belly.
You can feel yourself fluttering around his fingers as the curl and push apart, your thighs tensing around his bobbing head as he licks and bites gently at your clit. It feels like it’s harder to catch your breath and you know you’re only moments from orgasm.
“Please, please,” you start to stutter the word over and over, praying both that he lets you come and that you’re neighbors are deep enough in sleep to not hear the noises you know will escape you.
You almost cry in relief when you feel his shoulders shift, his face and fingers both pressing deeper from the movement in a way that tells you he has no intention on letting up on your shivering body.
His blunt nails start to scratch into your skin and you can feel his heavy panting breath against your skin every time he begins to lap at you desperately. You can feel your muscles lose even more strength, and your head becoming heavier and dazed as he coaxed you closer and closer to your finish.
Your shoulders twitch up towards your ears and you feel your stomach clench as your back curves, small whines and whimpers leave you as the heel of your foot thumps against the space between his shoulder blades.
You gasp out when you feel it, them. They start as small bumps beneath your palms, and you feel your chest tighten when it clicks what they are.
He’s always had a good hold on controlling them, keeping them hidden so he can wreak havoc without being clocked as something inhuman. They had peaked out a few times, usually in moments like this, but it’s such a rarity that you can’t stop the way your heart begins to thump in your chest.
Out of everything about him, you were obsessed with all of him, but you loved his horns the most. They were small and sharp at the side of his head and the way he looks when they’re poking out amongst his curled hair, and especially when he was grumpy or mad, made you want to jump on him and kiss him all over.
You were so caught up and distracted by them growing to full size directly under your hands you forgot how sharp they were at their tapered ends. The reminder you get is when they sharply down push into your palms like thorns.
You gasp sharply, but the way they curl makes you afraid to pull away. It makes you tremble and flush with embarrassment, but the pain bleeding into your hands is the last straw on your nerves. All you can do is wrap your now bleeding hands around the horns and cry out into the cold air as your erratic hips move across his face.
He groans deeply against you as your nails scrape at the skin that surrounds the base of his horns, the feeling of his and his still moving tongue pushes you through and past your gasping orgasm.
You sign in relief when he finally detaches from your body, his mouth moving up to press your hip and across the space of your stomach the dress reveals. He puts your leg down slowly and he creeps back up your torso, now hyper aware of your wounded hands still stuck on his horns.
“Sorry my love, they’re kinda sharp aren’t they?” he rhetorically asks with a soft but guilty grin. He stays ducked down enough that your hands don’t go too high that they start to slip, and he follows with his own to help you detach them.
“I just keep making my mark on you tonight huh?” he sighs as he stands at full height and brings your still bleeding hands to his face. You grit your teeth and scrunch your nose when he gives you a knowing look that says ‘we both know what I have to do.’
He is quick and gentle when he swipes his tongue across the deep cuts in your hands, not wanting it to sting more than necessary.
A teasing grin fills his face when he looks up to see the tired pout on your face, “just like the one on your leg, there won’t be anything left than a bruise if you just wait like an hour,” he’s sincere in his words, and you know it works, but you still feel all wounded and tired.
“Take me home,” you demand, wrapping your slowly healing hands around his shoulders and leaning until your head rests against his shoulder.
“Hey now,” he contradicts his tone by wrapping his arm around your waist and helping guide you walk to your apartment, “you still have to feed Oscar, and take a shower, and I’m not even full yet so you have to let me play with you until I wear you out.”
His tone is far too genuine and loving for the words he says, and you swat weakly at his chest in annoyance, but all he does in response is a laugh.
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sebstanseabass · 3 years
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Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 14
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Afterglow chapters
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"So, princess, who was that guy you guys were with last night? One of Bucky's rich friends?" Nat asked as soon as she saw you sitting alone in the booth. You stared at the red cushion in front of you and said:
"He kissed me." You whispered. "Bucky kissed me last night."
"Holy shit." She ran so quickly towards the booth that you thought you saw red and yellow streaks behind her, like The Flash. She occupied the empty space in front of you. "Tell me everything. Everything. I want all the scoop. Aaaall of it."
And that you did.
You fed Nat what she'd wanted to hear. From the way Bucky spun you around, to how hot you felt when your bodies collided, to the fiery passion embedded in your short kiss, to how it felt like it lasted forever, to how he tasted in your mouth, to how you savored every inch of his hot breath, to how his veiny hands pulled your waist into his, lips still tangling, to how his face felt so warm in your hands, and finally, to a sleeping devil awakening inside you.
As you told Nat every little detail of your passionate kiss, she looked at you in awe but all you saw through her dark irises was the silhouette of me and Bucky as you kissed last night, with the thousand city lights just outside the window. It would've been the perfect first kiss anyone could have; that you could have.
"Not gonna lie," she said, tucking her chin under her palm, "the way you describe it was so cheesy but wow, that was so romantic. Spontaneous kisses are so romantic. Did you also feel sparks just flying all around you?"
You grinned, still admiring the silhouette you kept seeing in her eyes. "Now who's the cheesy one?"
"You did, didn't you?"
"I don't even know if there are sparks, like, how do you even feel it?"
She shrugged. "You just feel it, I guess. Maybe it's like with people who can taste a number or a word."
"Synesthesia?"
"Yes, that. Maybe it's like that. Who knows? Romance is an enigma. You can't really explain it but you can feel it."
"Huh, maybe there was." You whispered, watching you and Bucky move your lips against each other. The picture was getting bigger now. "I've never really felt that with anybody. You should've felt my heart, Nat. I thought I was going to have a fucking heart attack."
"If you did, at least you would've died kissing a hot guy." She laughed.
"God, it felt so good. He... he felt so good." You said, ignoring her comment. "It also felt, somehow, right. I thought it was gonna feel wrong but it felt so right. Shit, is it too soon to say that?"
"Did you sleep with him?"
"No."
"Then, it's too soon." She answered. "And what the hell, if that make-out session was so hot, what did you guys do after?"
"Nothing. He went to Peter's room to sleep, then I went mine."
"That's it?"
"And then we kissed again this morning."
"And you still didn't have sex?" She hissed. You shook your head no. "Oh for fuck's sakes. I know he's not that old but he's fucking slow. Anyway, you guys kissed again this morning... So, how did that go?"
Oh god, this morning.
With the images of me and Bucky stuck in your head last night, you couldn't even bring yourself to a good night's sleep. All you could think of was how badly — badly you wanted to march in that room, throw yourself onto him, and have his soft lips against yours; you wanted it so badly that you kept pacing back and forth right in front of his (Peter's) room but then decided against it. And then the rest of the night, you wondered if he did the same, or even thought about it.
You woke up with a smile on your face and what you would usually hate in the mornings, you found pleasant. The hummingbirds on the trees sounded like angels sent from heaven, harmonizing with the knocking against your window, and the sun, although nearly blinding your eyes, gave you a sign that today was going to be a good day, if not, then a better day than the days you’ve had. Then you got up, staring at the busy street ahead, thankful you didn't have to go through that, then went towards the bathroom. You opened the door, and just your luck, Bucky was standing in front, his mouth slightly agape at the sight of you.
"Good morning, beautiful." He said, nearly whispered.
"H-hi." was all you could muster, bewildered at the sight of his blue eyes, the same color of that of the high seas, washing over you. "I was about to, uh, go wash up."
"Right, right of course. Go ahead." He stepped aside, giving me space to walk into.
As soon as you were done washing up, you turned around, opened the door, and lo and behold... Bucky.
"Oh wow, it's like, one of those game shows," Nat interrupted, "you pick a door, they open the door then you get your prize."
You chuckled. "Oh, Natasha. You're so weird."
"So... did you get your prize?"
"Nat!"
"What? It was right there!"
And the answer was yes, you did.
Because as soon your eyes met, he wrapped his arms around you and wasted no time finding your lips. You threw your arms around his neck, elbows on his strong, broad shoulder for support. This time, you opened your mouth wider, allowing his tongue inside of you. A moan escaped your lips. The taste of minty mouthwash sitting on your tongue, and overlapping his.
"Wow," you pulled away, grinning, "Hi."
"Hello, doll."
"Hi, good morning."
"Okay, I'm gonna need you to shut up 'cause I'm still not done with you."
"Oh, okay — "
"Not another word, doll."
You opened your mouth to say some more, curious what he'd do if you continued to speak but no words came out; only his tongue coming in first in your mouth. He lifted your body so easily towards the couch, never letting your lips detach. He laid you down, your head landing on a throw pillow, and he hovered over your body.
"And then his phone rang." You groaned.
"Ugh, what a cockblocker." Nat mirrored. "And who the hell calls at seven in the morning?"
"He had some business emergency. He told me he could stay but I urged him to go."
"Why the hell would you do that? You were about to get some." Nat searched your face for some answers. Younavoided her gaze. "Oh, I know. You got cold feet."
"I think so." You replied, nodding and biting your lower lip.
"Please don't tell me this is about Peter. Honey, you're not betraying anyone if you sleep with Bucky or date him. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"I know, I know." You sighed. "Surprisingly, that's not why. Gosh, I haven't even thought about Peter. But yeah, he's definitely not the reason."
Nat stared at you for what felt like forever. "How long?" She finally spoke.
You frowned. "How long the what?"
"How long since your last?"
You paused and thought about it for a moment. "A little over a year."
Nat's eyes almost jumped out of her sockets. "Over a year? Jesus, it's like you're a virgin again. I could never last that long."
"Of course, you won't." You replied. "That's why you went with Steve."
She scoffed. Now, it was her turn to avoid any eye contact she may have with you. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Please. He imprinted his scent on you like a freaking werewolf."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Have you never seen Twilight?" You rolled your eyes. "Deny all you want but it won't change the fact that I could smell Steve on you a mile away."
"Ugh, I thought we were being so secretive." She placed her forehead on the wooden table.
"Then stop having sex at his office."
"We don't — "
"You come in smelling like you, then you come out there smelling like him. It's not rocket science." You shrugged. "How do you even do it there? It's so cramped and full of papers."
"How did we go from talking about your sex life to mine? Let's get back to you."
"There's nothing to talk about." You sighed. "I barely have one."
"The more we have to talk about it." She smirked. "So, who was your last and why was it your last?"
Nat could be so straightforward at times. You didn't know if you liked that about her or not.
"I don't know. Some random guy I met online, and I just wasn't interested in anybody after that, and I have no plans on having a long-term boyfriend then. Or even a girlfriend."
"Why not?"
"My ex-boyfriend wasn't that good to me and I guess I haven't felt anything romantic or... I don't know just something." You replied. "Until Bucky."
Nat leaned back on the booth. "Huh."
"What?"
"I just realized I don't know much about you." She shrugged.
"Nat, we weren't really friends back then; more like acquaintances. But you're here almost everyday now, thanks to Steve."
"We should go out soon, y'know." She said, clearly ignoring your last comment. "Just the two of us and hang out like real friends do."
"Sure, why not." You grinned.
"Anyway, back to you," she continued, "y'know sex is like riding a bike. Once you hop on to him, it'll get to you. And then you ride him into oblivion."
You couldn't help but giggle. "God, you and Steve must have some pretty kinky sex."
"Hey, what happens there," she pointed at Steve's office, "stay there. But what happens between you and Bucky? Should stay with me."
You let out a small huff. "Don't count on it."
"You're gonna sleep with him one way or another, maybe fall in love, who knows?"
"Okay, sleep with him — yeah, sure but fall in love with him? That's a bit of a stretch, Nat. Now, that's too soon."
"I didn't mean now!" She said defensively. "And again, don't speak too soon. Remember when you told me you'd never kiss him 'cause it feels like betraying Peter?"
"Uh-huh."
"Case in point." She smirked, resting her feet on the table. "Just flow where the river takes you. Don't think too much about it. Do what you feel."
The door opened briskly, revealing Steve with his signature denim on denim attire. He looked at you, a feigned confusion crossing his face. "Y/n, you're not supposed to be here."
You tilted your head. "I'm sorry, are you gonna have sex in the bar?"
"Y/n!" Nat reached across the table and slapped your hand.
"Jesus, woman. Don't worry your secret's safe with me."
"That's not what I meant." Steve nervously chuckled. "You have to go to the rooftop. Now."
"Wait," You paused, "you're serious."
"Yes, I am, and you need to go now."
Before you could even ask Steve what you were supposed to do on the rooftop, he was shoving you right towards the door and slamming it in front of your face, kicking you out of his bar. You brought your fist on the door, pounding it, yelling for Steve to let me in. The bastard did open the door only his head was out, looking like a floating body-less ghost.
"Um, hello?"
He flashed you a smile. "Hi!"
"Rogers, what the hell?"
"Just go, y/n. You're running out of time."
"What are you talking about? What the hell is going on?"
"Just do as I say. No questions asked. Goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow."
And with that, Steve slammed the door on your face for the second time that day in a span of two minutes. You let out a scoff and kicked the door, stomping your way towards the apartment, then climbing up the rooftop while thinking of a hundred ways to murder Steve Rogers. But those thoughts soon dissipated, seeing Bucky emerge from a white cottony teepee tent which was sitting perfectly in the middle.
He turned around, your eyes meeting each other. He was wearing a black wool buttoned cardigan, a black shirt inside, tucked in a pair of skinny jeans. He strode towards you, grabbed your face and planted a kiss on your lips.
"Hey," he breathed as he pulled away, "you made it just in time."
You bit your lower lip. "What did you do this time, Bucky?"
"I felt bad leaving you like that earlier this morning so I thought I'd make it up to you." He walked closer and held out his hand. "Come on, doll."
You grinned, placing your hand on top of his and letting him walk you towards the front of the tent overlooking the city — just like last time. The inside of the white tent was big enough for two people (at least). On the ground were a pile of blankets and pillows, and unlit hanging lights on its pointed roof. Upon the pile of blankets was a take-out plastic from a Chinese place.
"Sorry, I only know how to cook breakfast so I got us Chinese." Bucky said whilst sitting down. "Come sit." He said, patting a space on the blankets. You did as he told you to, and was handed a little Chinese take-out box. "I hope you like orange chicken."
"Are you kidding me? I love Chinese food." You said while taking it from him.
"Good, good." He said, opening his.
You looked back at the space behind you, admiring how beautifully messy it all was. Then as your eyes went up towards the hanging lights, a memory took place right before your eyes.
"Remember that thing you said about the hanging lights?" Bucky asked, following your gaze. You sheepishly nodded. "Well, I thought today was the right time to put them up."
You bit your lip, looking at him. "So, this is a date."
"Is that okay?"
"Bucky, we've already made out twice in less than twenty-four hours." You giggled. "I think it's only appropriate, but you should've asked me first, y'know. On my way up here, I was already planning on how to kill Steve for kicking me out the bar."
"Yeah, I called in a favor to Mr. Rogers. I'm glad he agreed." He laughed, popping an egg roll in his mouth. "I apologize for not asking you out on a date formally but in my defense, I like being spontaneous in hopes of whisking you off your feet."
You hummed. "You're not quite there yet, Mr. Barnes. You're gonna have to try harder."
"Challenge accepted."
A gasp came out of your mouth as soon as the sunset hues appeared above, like a painting coming to life. You drowned out the noises from below, and listened to the whistling of the cold wind.
"I know you miss watching the sunset." Bucky started.
"Thank you, Bucky." You smiled. "This is a breath of fresh air."
You stopped blinking for a moment, eyes glazed over the sun about to be cradled by darkness, and then for a brief moment, the afterglow lingered — the remaining radiance in the skies before the night takes over; for a brief moment, your heart stopped.
"Wow." You breathed, watching the moon come up. "I haven't seen that for a very long time."
"Neither have I." Bucky replied. "But the magic doesn't stop there." He turned to his side and flicked a switch, the hanging lights coming to life.
"God, this is so cheesy." You commented, shaking your head at Bucky.
He smirked, planting a kiss on your cheek. "Now, it's a date."
You sat there side by side, enjoying the Chinese take-out Bucky had gotten for the both of you, as he asked you questions about your life before New York — the classic first date stuff. You teased him, "Is this what you usually do with other girls?"
"Doll," he chuckled in a low tone, "I don't do this to other girls."
You set down your chopsticks and faced him. "So tell me, what do you usually do on first dates?"
He laughed. "Well, for starters I wouldn't do all this on a first date — or any date for that matter. It's usually just one date and then it's pretty much over."
"How so?"
"Because I don't plan on keeping them around for too long," He shrugged, swallowing his food before continuing to speak, "because they're not interesting enough for me."
Well, am I Bucky? was what you wanted to ask but you repressed yourself from doing so. "If they're not, what do you guys talk about on dates?"
"Boring work stuff. Nothing I've never heard before." He replied. "How about you?"
You snickered. "Oh god, I don't even remember the last date I've been on. But, I guess, it's just the normal stuff. I ask him about himself, and his family. That's pretty much it."
He hummed, nodding to himself as he lifted an orange chicken to his mouth. "So, how come you haven't remembered the last date you've been on?"
You squinted your eyes, looking out of nowhere. "Let's just say it wasn't much of a date."
Bucky frowned, confused, until the realization dawned on him. "Oh, you mean — "
"Yep." You nodded along. "I'm not proud of it. I just wanted to feel something, I guess."
"Did you?"
"God, no." You scoffed. "Meaningless, is what it was."
Under the bright luminescent lights hanging in the tent, you talked about past relationships. Bucky with his unending parade of girls, and yours with a decent number of people (yes, guys and girls), not exceeding twenty. Unlike Bucky, his were just one night stands and short flings, while you, in those number of people you’ve been with, fell in love with one and had your heart shattered into pieces by the same jerk back in college.
"If you don't mind me asking..."
"He... Well, he," You paused, wriggling out of his stare, "he became pretty abusive."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"He also cheated on me," you said, "with my sister."
Here, you met his eyes — his wide, unblinking eyes. "Are you kidding me — with your sister?"
"My sister visited me in college once and they bumped into each other somewhere. She didn't know he was my boyfriend, they hooked up, and then when we met for dinner that same night, all hell went loose."
He frowned, shaking his head. "I'm really sorry to hear that."
"It's okay." You shrugged. "I punched him right after. That felt good."
He smirked, nodding his head. "Attagirl."
From there, Bucky asked you about your family, your life before New York. Comfortable enough to tell him about your past, you did. You told him about the afflictions of being the middle child growing up,  about how you’ve almost ran away from home back in high school, about how your parents constantly badgered you to continue the family business, about how you wanted to chase some silly dream in New York, about how you got cut off by your family, and about how you left them all behind for a new life in New York. You were pretty much close to a definition of an orphan — which you shouldn't have said in front of Bucky.
And then he asked you about Peter and how you met, and how you did back in college.
"That must've been hard." He commented. "Having three guys as your roommates."
"Are you kidding me? I was more of a man than all of them combined." You scoffed. "But yeah, they all sucked. Anyway, that's a lot about me. Let's move on to you." You set down your take-out boxes, seeing that you already done eating. You grabbed the bottle of water, quenching your thirst. "What's your story, old man?"
"We're gonna go with that? Really?"
"Yes, really."
"Come on, you know all about me. Didn't Peter tell you about all those stories about me?"
"You know that's not what I'm talking about, Bucky."
"Let's save that conversation for the next dates to come." He winked, finishing his food.
"Let's see if you're ever going to get a second date from me." You teased. "Depends on how this night will come to an end."
"Then, I'll make this one a date you will never forget."
You smirked. "Your move, old man."
"Challenge accepted."
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simpfortetsu · 4 years
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you’re not my muse
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☾ you and tsukki had been together for quite a while now. you're an aspiring artist and your boyfriend seems to think that most of your artwork is based around him... how is he supposed to react when you tell him he's wrong
pairing(s): gn!reader x tsukishima kei warning(s): none. sulky tsukki for like two(2) seconds genre: fluff againnnn word count: 1301 note: this one's for you @out-of-my-way-extras !! again, the ending isn’t particularly my favorite, but its okayyyy. as always everyone please let me know what you think about this one:)
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you were having a block again. that much tsukki could tell. he could tell by the way that you were just sitting there staring at the blank canvas and then picking up the coffee he had just made you, before setting the mug back down. you would do this before starting to run your fingers through your hair and massage your scalp. 'it helps to get the blood flowing in my brain' you told him when you started doing more and more art in his apartment. he had promptly rolled his eyes and told you that he was sure that wasn't how you would get ideas for the work that you were doing. but he massaged your head whenever you asked him to nonetheless.
after watching you for a few moments, he came up behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders. you instinctively leaned back into him, while place your hands down into your lap. you shifted your head to look up at him. "how can i help you good sir?" you inquired jokingly, a small smile making its way across your lips.
he rolled his eyes, a signature reaction that you had become accustomed to, but a smile played across his lips as well. "well, shortcake, i decided to come and help get the blood flowing, since you obviously can't seem to do it right," he teased you, while placing his hands on your head. you shifted back to where he could use his freaking huge hands to massage you. you sighed, still leaning into his touch, while racking your brain on what you should do.
you had a chance at a gala coming up and you wanted at least one of your newer pieces in it. your style was always changing after all.
as you sat there and tsukki continued to massage you, a comfortable silence engulfed you both. it was all a part of the process. this was the prime time for you to think about things that inspired you. whether it was literally something you just happened to glance at in the room. or if it was something you had read in the news. or even if it was something, or someone, in your life. that much tsukishima knew.
he also knew that you could only sit still and stay quiet for so long before you started to complain about how you couldn't think of what to do. "tsukki," you drew out his name in a groan, flopping forward, away from his hands. he shook his head, lowering himself to the ground so that he could sit beside you. instead of saying anything, he chopped the back of your head with his hand. though it did elicit another groan from you, you also sat up to shoot him a small glare. you definitely weren't going to be getting any work done bent over and complaining, that tsukishima knew as well.
"what the hell was that for?" you mumbled, rubbing the area he had just hit. it hadn't really hurt all that much, but you dramatized it in hopes of possibly making your boyfriend feel at least a little bad.
"don't you have a muse or something that you can turn to in times like this?" he questioned. though he tried his best not to seem too cocky about his prospected question, tsukki had a sneaking suspicion that he was exactly that. though you had never said anything about it, he had begun to notice patterns about your artwork ever since the two of you had gotten more serious. that is, when you started to do art in the spare bedroom of his apartment.
he thought he had been imagining at first, and maybe he still was, but there were things that started to stick out to him. like the way that objects around the apartment would end up somehow being reflected in your work. or how there were a lot more portraits of people that wore glasses since you two had been seeing each other. or even how your conversations, or things he was passionate about, had seemed to make their way into your art. it was a subtle thing, but tsukishima kei had always been observant.
you pondered the thought of having a muse. it had been something that many people asked you whenever you were very passionate about one of your pieces. newsflash, that was almost all of them. but having a muse was never something that really concerned you. if you were inspired then that was the end of it. because for you it was always different. you were always learning new ways to express yourself through your art and that was one of the things you loved the most about it.
"ya know. i don't really think so." your response was short, but it sounded as if you were questioning yourself.
"oh. i see." your boyfriend's response seemed off. when you looked away from your canvas, you saw that his usual smirk wasn't there. though it was replaced with his signature scowl, that was something that you rarely ever saw these days. you leaned over and poked his cheek to which he flinched away from you. "what the hell are you doing y/n?" he asked as you reached to do it to him again.
"well what's wrong with you kei?" you had only said that you didn't have a muse. you didn't understand why that would bother him so much.
that was until it dawned on you. when people typically said that they had muses, it was their significant other. or someone important to them. with that realization you broke into a fit of laughter.
"are you dying?" tsukki asked incredulously. one second you were trying to poke his face and the next you looked like you were having a seizure.
"you.. you want to be my muse don't you?" you gasped in between words, trying to catch your breath from you sudden outburst. the look on your boyfriend's face was priceless as he tried his best to hide the fact that he did, in fact, want to be your muse.
"so what if i do?"
"well then i'd tell you you're an idiot," you responded placing a kiss on his cheek. his eyes brows furrowed even further at that. "you know i take my inspiration from everywhere. especially the places where we're together you dork. so no you are not my muse. you, we, us. that's my inspiration.
"of course other things too. but those things don't really hold to the pieces that i've made with the inspiration of us, or you, or something to do with this apartment in mind." you finished your small spiel only to look to see that tsukki had a grin on his face.
"you're an idiot you know that?" he said to you with a laugh, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him.
"now what do you mean?" you whined, your lips forming a small pout.
"you basically just said that i was your muse. or at least our relationship. that "inspiration" behind your art you're talking about. that's literally the definition of muse shortcake." tsukki's response was very to the point, and if not for the smug little smirk that sat upon his lips you would have hit him upside the head like he had done to you earlier.
but instead you only reached up to place a hand on the cheek of your boyfriend, tsukishima kei. your muse, as he so wanted to be called. his leaned into your touch, his lips hovering above yours. "i guess i'll have to change your name in my phone to 'my muse' then," you teased, your lips brushing against his.
he pressed his lips softly against yours before responding. "you better."
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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years
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Don't touch...
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(L/n) (Y/n).
Quirk? Unknown to him until the days of today...
Your company after all these years had been quite... enjoyable for him to not say the least. Most of the time you wore a mask, gloves and clothes that covered most of your skin, yet you always opted to be more free, feel the sun and the wind on your skin... he never get it why though.
Without the clothes you would remember a bit of him, flinch away from the touch even before it could touch you... yet when it was on your clothing you just reacted calmly and dare he say even sweetly.
He came to know you as kids, just barely when he entered the yakusa Pops showed to him you.. a kind soul that asked him if he wanted to play despite the look of distrust and hatred he gave to you just when you looked at him.
He never complained about you not wanting to be touched, he didn't liked it either. But he could tell you had... different reasons. As the years went by, he notice the dreadfull and even the remorse behind those (E/c) eyes of denying someone touch, a pat on the head, a hand shake... a hug.
It was... strange.
It's funny how reverse psychology worked... thats at least what he deduced from his own analysis. He didn't felt comfortable, heck actually he felt sick to the stomach if everyone else got too close to him or forbid God to ever lay a finger on him... but with you? The more you would get away from him, the more he wanted you to stay by his side... you were one of the few whose he felt comfortable enough.
He had gone through one of the most painfull feeling right on his childhood. Parental neglect and abuse, not even mentioning the pain he had to atture of controling his own quirk, testing on both victims and himself. Seriously, what could be worse than that?
Simple. When he found out that he was actually catching feelings for you, and your neglect of touch was even from him.
He didn't know what was so special that left his skin itching to just brush against yours...he just.. needed to test the waters. Yeah, it was only that.
The Hassaikai for a very long time had a plan for touching you. Since you werent as deadly and scary as Kai, and had kinda of a good partnership for all of them, he just could watch the shit go downs.
But soon stopped being a joke one day where Mimic went from behind you and tried to grab your wrist as you listened to his other plan to tell Pops later. He didn't even could tell you before your reflexes acted and you kicked Mimic square in the face.
"Dont. Touch me. This is not a joke anymore." You muttered in anger before bowing to Kai and leaving the room, his golden eyes widening at the drops of tears you let it slip from your eyes.
Mimic never once thought that the young sucessor of the Hassaikai could be even more enraged and such a monster when dealing with you. Rappa could only laugh since this time he wasn't the one having his ass beaten and overhauled. Haha poor him I torture him sometimes here
He couldn't understand... until the day where you were crying your eyes out. He couldn't understand until you just threw three blankets at him and hugged him for all your might.
His breath suddenly dissapeared...he didn't know what to say or even do at that point, and just when he was about to lower his arms you pulled away from and took the three massive blankets away from.
"Sorry, Chisaki.." you sniffled as he blinked, stoic gaze still present at your depressed state. "Really, forgive me I-"
"You never once told me about your "despise" for touch." He interrupted you, letting you lift your head for him to speak again "We both know my reason, but you're far away from a clean freak person or a mysophobic... explain it."
His eyes never widened at the point where it even hurted his whole life.
Your illness. Your quirk. That was why you couldn't touch anyone neither let anyone touch you. Your quirk allowed you to give resistance to others with only one glance and gave you amazing reflexes... but the consequences were way too big....
Hearing this made his skin form into hives, anger at despicable things rising even more.
From that way beyond, he promised himself that he would create a cure. It didn't even matter, he just needed a cure for this. A cure for you to stop suffering.
More years went by... he saw your worry at Pops condition, he saw your worry towards him for both being charged with the chore of taking care of the girl and both for him to get the tittle as the big boss.
Yet he couldn't stop. When he discovered Eri's quirk he saw a hint of light on the end of the tunnel. You wouldn't ever need to use thick clothes to protect yourself from vanishing from existence.
The bullets were only experimental. He selled most of them to be used as... experiments. He would use the first serum on you, and this way you could stop this nightmare where many nights you confessed to him... as he confesses his own sins.
You wouldn't like to know about Eri, so he simply erased the idea of telling you that. He never answered your questions on what he was working. His mind fooling him that he wasn't exactly lying to you if he hadn't said anything.
He could only be relieved to graze your skin under only using his gloves... at first he thought it would be enough, but no.
Love is like a damn drug. The more you get, the more you want. And he couldn't help but want more.
The bullets were a success... but he knew heroes were coming towards him. That blonde and green haired kid surely were behind this...
So the least he could do was give you a night to remember if anything went wrong on those next few days.
"A festival?" You asked with wide eyes before gasping at him putting the box on the desk. "Huh?"
"You always talk about them." He answered nonchantly, montioning with his eyes at the box as hs stuffed his hands on his pockets.
You snickered and opened the box carefully before widening your eyes, picking the golden and with traces of shiny green yukata on your hands... you were out of words until you gasped at Chisaki leaving and standing on the door way, giving you only one side eye glance as he spoke before he closed the door.
"I expect you to be ready by 8."
You blinked in shock before softening your gaze, holding the yukata over your body as you could only smile...
You were tired of living this way... if it meant you could spend a night with the man you love normally... so be it.
.
.
.
The sky had a bunch of lanterns and it shined with the lights of it along with the stars. You bounced and walked happily ahead of Chisaki with a basket.
He was always wary of anyone who ever dared to step closer... the yukata covered your legs, chest and arms. But you noisy self insisted on going without gloves and he was actually worried that the material of the yukata he brought wasn't as thick to protect your skin.
Yet he had to only breath in and out, the air making it hotter around the area where his mask was... he had one of the serums in here. With him. Soon he will inject, and gave to you your freedom.
"Ne Kai! Look at that booth over there!" You tugged on the material of his own yukata as his golden nonchantly gaze looked at the mans throing balls and hitting the aims of the booth, winning prices for their kids and partners.
He let out a "tch" before noticing how your eyes shined and how your lips quivered up at seing the stuffed animals the man was giving.
Blinking, he sighed, muttering how he this was a waste of time before he dropped a bunch of coins to the man and grabbed three balls.
You clapped your hands in glee as he threw the three balls and with the most perfection he hit the three aims right on the middle of it.
"Choose." He said nonchantly while grabbing a napkin and wiping his GLOVED hands as you pointed at a cute yet fluffy and chubby penguin. Without the man grabbing the stick, he lifted his hand up and yanked the stuffed animal and hand it to you as you squealed, nuzzling your face on it with glee... making him smile at how innocent and sad this scene was.
Everytime you would look at a treat or just a snack he would buy... you even wondered with wide eyes and mouth full how much he brought to this festival as he only growled for you to not speak with a mouth full.
You were hugging the price Chisaki won to you for warm as he looked at you and stopped, it was on a fair and quite isolated area of the festival so he found the perfect time to give you the medice. Your cure.
"Cold?"
"A bit." You giggled before you saw him taking a box and overhauling it, showing a little red capsule "What's this?"
"... (Y/n).. I despise touch. I really do.. but I can't lie that I wasn't expecting at least to feel a real contact between us, skin to skin... you know how much you affect me? To have me, Chisaki Kai, wanting to at least feel what your skin feels like? Feel how soft those lips are instead of just receiving a quick kiss on my mask..." you blinked, raising a eyebrow with a sad smile.
"I wish I could do this way sooner-" you stopped talking as soon as you heard laughter and voices of childs running and playing around.
"Brats..." chisaki sighed at the sign, a quadruple of two girls and two boys chasing them, the two young girls greeting both of you as the one of the boys screamed after them.
It all happened so fucking fast... the last boy tripped and it was about to fall with his head on a rock... it if it wasn't for your good reflexes the boy would had fall.
"Thank you miss!" The boy mumbled with a smile as you, with both hands on his arms helped him.
His and your eyes were so wide... you looked at him and his gaze was filled with horror.
Your hand started to fade, a bunch of (E/c) butterflies started to form and fly away instead of the hand that was suppose to be there.
He couldn't even fucking move as you looked at him... he expected everything but the huge smile and the sob of happines you let out before jumping on him and hugging him with tears in your eyes.
"Finally I can touch you..!" You sighed with a sob, not feeling your legs anymore.
"(Y/n)-!" He dropped the bullet on the ground and clenched onto your back as his eyes started to burn before you locked his lips so softly, your eyes closed as your image faded away and his eyes wide open...
The last thing he saw was your smile as your body was replaced with lifes and butterflies... his knees gave out when he could only tigger at the yukata he bought for you...
The whole festival was all happy and cheerfully until they heard the shouts of pain of a man inside the peacefull and full of butterflies forest.
A/n: eeyyy dont even need to coment the damn visible reference right? :D
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wendystales · 3 years
Text
Memories - lrh (Chapter Sixteen)
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Memories (also on Wattpad)
Chapter Fifteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Seventeen
Luke pov.
“Do it again.” Ashton asks, staring at me intently.
We were about to leave my house for my surprise party, which I discovered in less than an hour. I was rehearsing a face of surprise so as not to end the surprise, cause I know everyone worked hard for it.
I widen my eyes, breaking into a smile.
“I can't believe you deceived me.” I say with my voice altered by the ‘surprise’.
“Don't say that, it will be very obvious that you know. Says ‘I can't believe you threw a party for me’.” he suggests.
"I can't believe you threw a party for me." I redo the entire acting.
“Yep! Me either. But what doesn't M&Ms ask, that I don't do?” Ash dries the water bottle with a shrug. “I'm just kidding.” he laughs after seeing my face.
“Speaking of her…” I fill my glass with some more wine, since it's too early for us to go. “Something new?” Ashton denies, frustrated too.
“I commented that she was acting weird, but she just changed the conversation and said that she's been busy and that she was nervous about the party.” he sighs. I massage my forehead, annoyed.
"Am I going to have to put her against the wall to get something?" I look at him, not knowing what to do.
“You know this isn't going to work. She's going to run away, you're going to fight, she's going to walk away and you're going to be more annoying than you already are.” I appreciate my friend's attempt to change the mood with provocation, but it has no effect.
"I can't find any reason to give me any sign of what's going on. Was it my fault? I knew I shouldn't have stayed with her that Saturday, I pushed the situation too hard and now she's pulling away, avoiding me-”
“Oh shut up! Don't even start with that.” Irwin raises his voice, cutting mine off. "Marnie isn't like that, she doesn’t do these things. If she wasn't comfortable she was going to talk. You said yourself that she asked you to sleep there. She let you pick her up on Monday and asked you to take her home, even after you dedicated Best Years to her. She didn't run away there, because it was remarkable how much she liked the song. You should pay more attention to the way she looks at you.”
A silly laugh escapes my lips when I see Ashton imitate her looking at me and smiling. My heart warms at the possibility that she is actually falling in love with me, just as I already am with her.
"Luke, if she didn't want to get back together, she wouldn't open up so many gaps and opportunities for you to be together. She must just be confused about the feelings. That's how it looked for the first time. Look, let's analyze her behavior today, after all the stress of the party and then we get stressed.”
I agree with my friend. I'm freaking out over something that shouldn't be very important. Maybe it's all the pressure with finishing the album. The release date is approaching and sure enough, Jim freaking out in my ear for the publicity trip we were supposed to be doing, but we're still going against it due to Marnie's accident.
I don't know how many times I have to tell him I'm not leaving LA yet. This delay wasn't hindering anything, so I don't know why he makes such a point.
“Go, get rid of that dead face and let's enjoy your party.” Ash slaps my shoulder.
We left the house, heading to Jack's house, where the party would be. I've been training my face the entire way, wanting it to be as realistic as possible, even though everyone already suspects that I know.
Even if I didn't know it, the moment I see the street full of cars, I realize that I would find out there. Irwin tells them we're coming and I notice the noise of the music fade away. Discreet.
We entered the house, finding everything quiet and tidy. But when we turn to the kitchen and garden, a lot of people scream in surprise. I take a step back, like I'm really shocked.
"I can't believe you did that." I look at Ash, wanting to see that I did well. But his expression ‘so so’ disappoints me.
“In the car it was better.” he says before walking away and letting people get closer.
I don't know how many people I hugged, but I know the only one I wanted to see was the last one to arrive. I hold my breath, seeing her in a black leather skirt and a transparent black blouse, highlighting her tattoo between her breasts.
I swallow hard, cracking a nervous smile as she approaches with a huge grin, almost jumping into my lap. Unlike yesterday, where I just got a congratulations message, M&Ms hug me, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek.
“Happy Birthday!” the gleam in her eyes proves to me she's already a little high.
I resist the urge to steal a kiss from her lips, just kissing her cheek back but giving her waist a squeeze, pressing her against my body. She seems to notice my intent, drastically changing her breathing.
"I wanted to talk to you later. If possible.” I say against her ear.
“About?” her eyes sweep me for any clues.
“Surprise.” I reveal, seeing her roll her eyes in agreement.
I watch her walk away with the girls, but she doesn't fully break eye contact with me, looking at me from afar. I let out a breath, realizing it's going to be a long night and another long battle to resist her and the urge to take her to a dark corner.
In the kitchen, where most of the drinks are, I start my work, drinking the alcohol, enjoying the burning sensation that the liquid leaves in my throat. I get distracted with video game conversation and allow my mind to relax with lighter, more relaxed topics.
The party had been going on for a few hours. My head is already light, due to the high alcohol content my body retains. I know I'm laughing at some bullshit Brian is talking about, even though his words don't make any sense in my mind. Maybe I've already had too much to drink and it's better to stop for a while. I don't want to be sick at my own party.
The term vibrates in my mind and I start searching the crowd for the cotton candy hair, worried about her condition. The feeling pulls my head out of the air, sobering me up for a few minutes.
I find her dancing hand in hand with Noah, laughing at the older man's exaggerated steps. I stare at the scene, happy that she is enjoying herself. Unlike at the beginning of the week, Marnie is now upbeat and not acting. Maybe Irwin is right and she was just stressed about the birthday party.
I push my thoughts away, concentrating on yet another beer pong game. I've played more times than I could count and I'm starting to doubt the two arms Jack has won since my last drink.
“Problems.” Michael sings beside me, pointing to the door. Pam walked in smiling excitedly, holding hands with a guy who sure as hell didn't want to be there. It's not possible…
Sobriety hits me like a cannon. All the alcohol and smoke that was in my body is gone and I am able to think clearly for the first time since I arrived.
I massage my forehead, bringing my gaze to Marnie, who's already staring at Pam without a specific expression. I cross the room with incredible ease, reaching for her, hugging her waist, pulling her to me.
“We can talk now?” Marnie didn't even seem to hear me, still staring at Pam, who was greeting some people. "M&Ms?" I call closer to her ear, but no effect. “Hey!” I drop a kiss to her temple, squeezing her waist.
Her green eyes cross mine and I can palpate the insecurity in them. Marnie just nodded, letting me lead her out of the room. We went up to a room, being alone. I look at her face, still half lost, and I approach slowly, feeling that little box weigh tons in my pocket.
“What do you want to talk about?” she gives a slight smile, turning her full attention to me.
“First I wanted to apologize for Pam. I didn't know what she was going to come.” Marnie rolls her eyes, shrugging.
“It’s OK! No need to apologize. My head is so full I don't even care about her anymore.” she sits up in bed, crossing her legs.
“And I believe she won't even mind us today, after all, she came with someone” I sat beside her.
“Yeah! Poor guy.” I let out a laugh at her pity for the poor boy. “It was just that?”
I lose myself in her eyes for a few seconds, wondering if that's all. I draw her face in my mind once more, recording every feature I fell in love with. My lips tingle as I landed my eyes on her mouth, slightly reddened by the drink.
At another time, right now she and I would be locked in some bathroom or bedroom, succumbing to desire and the alcohol in our blood. My fingertips ache amidst the memories of all the times I have run across her skin, feeling it burn under my touch.
My mind starts to cloud and the flashes of the two of us become more and more vivid. I try to push those thoughts away, but they seem to sink into my mind with force. My body heats up with every scene my mind plays. I feel the blood running the wrong way and I don't know how to stop it.
"Luke?" I'm startled by your touch on my hand. Marnie was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern. “Are you okay?” I watch her hand squeeze mine, like she always did when I was angry or upset.
And just with that touch, everything stops inside me. The fire is gone and now I'm seized by a gigantic pain and rage in my chest, a rage for her being ripped from me so abruptly. I stare at her fingers moving gently, transmitting a caress throughout my body.
"Luke?" now she was looking at me extremely worried.
“Sorry. I think the drink hit.” I open a smile, trying to calm her down. M&Ms don't seem to buy much, but she smiles smugly.
“I already told you you're drinking a lot. In a little while you'll be passed out and won't even enjoy your own birthday party.” my smile widens in the midst of her care. "Don't give me that smile." she pushes my face away. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"
“No!” this time I answer faster. “Actually, I wanted to give you something.” I fish the little white box in my pocket, feeling my fingers as soft as jelly. What if she doesn't like it? What if she gets angry?
“You know it's your birthday, right? You're the one who should get presents, not give. Especially for me.” she looks at me angrily, not wanting to accept the box.
"Well, it's my birthday and I'll do what I want, in which case I give it to you." I place the object in her hands. “I wanted to wait until your birthday, but it's still far away and I can't take it.” I lift my shoulders quickly, making her laugh.
Taking advantage of the fact that she was involved with the present, slowly, I move closer to her body, contenting myself with the least contact we have. I notice Marnie hold her breath at the sight of the blue quartz necklace, just like the one she had.
With no more reaction than that, I start to convince myself that I've fucked up and she hated it. It wasn't the time yet, as much as everything was going well, it wasn't the time yet.
“I can't believe you did this.” her voice comes out in a breath in surprise. I let my mind race to our first Christmas, where she gave me my necklace and I gave that star to her.
“If you don't like it…” my voice trails off as I see her eyes watery and filled with joy. It was the right time.
I'm not afraid to advance towards her, covering your lips with mine in a short kiss. The cherry taste becomes my favorite for the rest of the night. Marnie wipes her tears as she calls herself pathetic for crying.
"I know we used it as a dating ring, but it doesn't have to be-”
"Could you put it on for me?" she interrupts me, not caring about my fear. With my hands still trembling and cold, I close the necklace around her neck, enjoying the scene of her smiling enchanted by that stone. “Thanks!”
This time it is she who steps forward, stealing a kiss. The mood changes drastically. The screams outside seem to die in my ears, leaving only silence. The music that used to burst had ceased to exist.
That little kiss breaks, but she doesn't pull away, keeping her forehead still glued to mine. I'm startled when her eyes return to mine, I can see her perfectly there, in front of me, in my arms. I recognize that glow, that look and what it wanted to convey.
It was her there. The reason I get up every morning. The reason that makes me want to be better and better. The person I always want to impress. My girl. My Marnie.
I bring my hand to the back of her neck, bringing our lips together once more. I feel goose bumps as our tongues touch and her hand cups my face, holding me there. If she knew the last thing I want is to run away…
I'm surprised I feel despair on her side. The urgency on her lips. The need for the touch of her hands, the way they ran through my hair, the back of my neck and chest.
Easily, I pull her onto my lap, moaning, feeling her body against mine after so long. The fire that had previously ceased inside me, runs again through my veins, making everything too cloudy. I can't reason whether this was right or not. We both drink too much. She still hasn't given me full openness to so much attitude, even though she's still here, kissing me.
I try for a few minutes to clear my mind, to be a little rational and not get carried away by emotion, but the sound her mouth makes when I touch her neck with my lips ruins whatever train of thought I was building.
I touch the exact spots that make her moan and scramble for more friction. I watch thirstily as her eyes roll back and her lip is bitten in an attempt to control the moans. Her nails scratch the back of my neck, releasing an electric current that migrates between my legs.
I gasp when I feel her rub against my groin, spreading a current throughout my body. I want to beg her to do it again, but it's not really necessary, she knows and she does. So excruciating, but so good. Again I am startled to find that glow that I knew so much. I wonder where this Marnie was all along.
I shove my hand inside her shirt, enjoying her burning skin. I stroke the spot below her bra with my thumb, wanting not to frighten her. I suck the skin under her ear, lapping it with my tongue. My body combusts as she stirs and presses her crotch harder against mine. I cup her breast with enjoyment, hearing her call my name the way I liked it best.
Her desperate hands run inside my jacket, wanting to throw it away. I was ready to help when a heavy knock on the door disrupts our moment.
"What the fuck is it?" anger rips up my throat, causing a very angry scream. So much time to interrupt.
"It's time to cut the cake." I hear Calum's voice and feel like throwing him from the second floor.
“Serious? Stick the cake in your-” two small hands cover my mouth, preventing me from continuing.
“We're on our way, Cal.” Marnie yells louder and breathless.
I watch your body soften, lost and, I fear, even regretful. She is no longer there. She avoids looking at me, perhaps out of shame.
“It was better this way.” her sweet voice comes closer to a whisper.
“Was?” I stare at her, not wanting to accept that I was the only one to feel it. I know I wasn't, because her expression tells me I'm right.
“Was! You know it was.” her tone is still sweet, but her gaze is hard. "I think we'd better go downstairs." she gets up carefully, getting out of bed. I throw my head against my hands, visibly frustrated.
"Go ahead, I need to get both heads in place." I throw my body against the mattress.
“Sorry, Luke.” I can't stand her feeling guilty when she's the biggest victim of all this.
"M&Ms?" I leap out of bed, grabbing her before disappearing through the door. “It's not your fault. I'm the one who lost control, I'm sorry. You didn't give me the opening to attack you like that and I let myself go…” her lips silence me.
“It wasn't anyone's fault, can we do that?” I nod, stealing the last kiss before I let her go. "I'll wait for you downstairs." she announce.
I turn around, heading back to bed, still feeling frustration coursing through my veins.
“Hey!” I turn to see her there, standing in the doorway. My chest races with yearning from the many times I've seen her do the same scene. My ears and heart ache wanting to hear those words that always came next. Those three words that were so beautiful in her mouth. “Thanks for this.” she smiles and leaves.
I stare at the wood, snapping back to reality. I'm such an idiot for thinking she was going to say she loves me. I hide my face, exhausted. I look across the bed, able to see the two of us there, so given to each other.
I replay the scene in my head, tasting her kiss on my lips. Feeling my body tingle, still wanting her touch. The pressure on my pants becomes bigger and more uncomfortable. I need to make this go away. I scramble my mind for many things to calm myself down, but I can't. I can still feel her hands running around the back of my neck and her groin against mine.
"Shit!" I give up, going to the bathroom and locking myself in there. I don't care if I'm late, or what they think. I won't be able to eliminate this with thoughts alone.
I lower my pants and underwear, releasing my already throbbing member. I run my hand over it, making my body vibrate in relief. I let my mind flood with all thoughts and memories with her, feeling my body inflate further.
I increase my speed, being able to feel her touch through my body. I punch the wall, feeling my stomach contract. I rest my forehead against the cool coating, letting out several sighs. Her eyes flash in my mind.
The many times I've seen her face twist in pure orgasm under my touch. That smirk and that vulgar glow she always lets off before pulling me aside. And I always did, like a puppy.
My breathing gets out of control as I reach my orgasm. A wave of relief and lightness overcomes me, along with a wave of guilt. It must have been the 15th time since it all happened.
I can't have her. I can't stand the idea of ​​looking for someone else, even though we are not officially together, so I have to get by with baths and my bare hands, but as a result I feel like the dirtiest human being, as she doesn't even suspect.
I walk down the stairs, not attracting any attention. I find her sitting on the couch, on Leah's lap, laughing at some imitation Ashton was doing. I approach the group, who make no fuss about my delay.
I pick up the bottle of white wine on the coffee table, flipping half the contents. I feel her green eyes burn on me and I don't even have the courage to reciprocate by ignoring her.
“Is everything OK? Sorry if I messed something up.” Hood says next.
“It's OK! In fact, it was better, if you didn't show up, we would have done something stupid.” I say dry.
"Is that why this sour face?" he raises an eyebrow.
"I'm feeling awful for almost bringing her to this and not having the conscience to stop." I reveal a part of the guilt that burns in me.
“Luke, you are not complete strangers. And maybe she really wanted to go further, she just didn't know how. After all, at that moment she was supposed to be your f-”
"I know!" I cut it off, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence.
For my salvation, someone starts to sing happy birthday and the matter is closed. I open a smile disguising the shit my head was on. Michael puts a little purple hat on my head, blowing a plastic horn, very excited.
The scene makes me laugh, relieving the stress. I watch Leah and Kyleen swing colorful pom poms behind Marnie, who is holding a small cake with several candles.
I look deep into her eyes, noticing her happiness to be there and somehow mine too. After all, she's here, even if she doesn't remember much, she's still here. The accident could have been a lot worse and I could have lost her forever.
I push the damn thoughts away, blowing out the candles and driving everyone crazy. I'm surprised when Marnie leans in, stealing a kiss, not caring that she's in front of everyone. Her rosy cheeks manage to steal a smile far bigger than Michael did.
In the back of the room, I notice Pam with her arms crossed and sulking. I don't know if Marnie did it on purpose, intent on teasing, but something she did, and if Pam is pissed off, we're happy.
The clock was already showing around 5:00 in the morning. I've already fluctuated my alcohol level more times than I can count. While the boys filled me with rum, M&Ms filled me with water and food, afraid I would go into an alcoholic coma or whatever. Of course I took advantage of her concern and all the attention she was giving me.
At some point during the party, Michael took over the DJ's table and there we were, jumping up behind him, singing I Want It That Way at the top of our lungs, with the lost girls trying to do the choreography. That was definitely the best thing about the party, right after my moment with Marnie in the bedroom.
Right after his moment commanding the party's playlist, Clifford decided to climb on the roof to jump into the pool. Something that was already taking a while to happen. What he and no one expected was Marnie yelling at him, worried.
“It's comical, because if it weren't for the amnesia and the lack of alcohol, she would be the one on the roof.” Irwin comments lying beside me, watching the scene of her yelling at Michael, asking him to come down.
“And we called the fire department because she got stuck again.” I shake my head, wanting not to laugh at the memories. “Good times.” I'm toasting my friend, still watching her worriedly behind the older one.
Sitting in the garden, talking to some friends, I watch the girl laughing in a circle with Noah and Calum. She gets up, walking into the house, returning in a few minutes. I watch her come around, stopping behind me.
“Now the one who needs to talk is me.” she whispers in my ear. I don't think twice about taking your hand and heading out of the wheel chat.
I can see a large package in her hands and the idea of ​​being my gift makes me anxious. A little farther away from the mess that remained, she hands me the black box with a gold bow on top. Before opening it, I take a look at her excited smile, letting out a laugh.
I find five rings and three necklaces arranged around the box. I can't hold back the smile, seeing what she's chosen. I know I might look like an idiot for some jewelry, but it's amazing jewelry she picked out.
“You liked?” she bites her lower lip, curious.
“I loved!” I hug your body, thanking her. I know she has no intentions other than to give me a birthday present, but of course I will wear these rings and necklaces with more affection than usual. “Thanks.” I mean, still ecstatic.
Hand in hand, we approached the crowd again, bumping into Kiki, Sophie and Michael.
“We were thinking about going to Michael's house. The party is already boring and I'm hungry.” Kiki comments. I look a little offended at her, after all, that was my birthday party. “Oh! Nothing personal.” she laughs, slapping me on the shoulder.
“What do you think?” I ask the M&Ms, who shrug their shoulders. "Have you talked to the rest?"
“Leah was going to call Noah and Ash, we were going to rescue Calum.”
“OK! We'll get our stuff and meet you at the door.” Marnie agrees and so we disperse.
Still holding hands, we walked back upstairs, looking for her bag. In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of vodka, a tequila, and a whiskey, trying to put everything in my bag, but it doesn't quite work.
“We should take advantage of the gathering and have your liver funeral.” I turn to Marnie who glares at me, seeing three bottles in my arm and me struggling to open one of beer.
Easily, we made our way to the front door, finding Kiki and Sophie. Gradually, everyone arrived and so we left the party, without saying goodbye to anyone.
“Uh, tequila?” Hood comes towards me, hugging the bottle.
Michael's house was the closest and, having drunk too much, we thought we'd better walk.
On the way, we stopped at a bakery, buying a bunch of things to eat. The day was already showing signs of life when we arrived at Mike's house. At the dinner table, we spread out the stolen drinks and food, starting our round table, as well as picking up several board games that Michael kept.
“I wanted to propose a toast to Mr. Luke Hemmings.” Noah draws the toast, making everyone raise their glasses and bottles. “One of the few people worth meeting in this hellish city where you can't trust anyone. The other people are unfortunately not present…”
A shower of paper balls and food flies towards the 20 minutes older twin. I'm surprised when I watch Marnie leave my arms, standing up.
“I also wanted to give a speech.”
“You didn't have to, babe.” I say, shaking her hand that still had our fingers intertwined.
“It's not about you.” she sticks out her tongue, causing everyone to scream.
“Ouch!” I put my hand to my chest, accepting the blow and still feeling my heart race.
“Shut up.” she screams, laughing. “Well, I wanted to make this toast in thanks to all of you. I know it's been three years of friendship, but for me it's only been a month and even with all the confusion and breakup.” her fingers squeeze mine and I move them, giving them a light caress. “You still took me in and took great care of me. I am eternally grateful for that. Leah doesn't even start crying, I need to get this over with and if I cry it's going to go wrong.” the mood breaks a little with the laughter. “Bottom line, I just want to say that whatever the future holds, I like you all a lot and that this isn't just a bunch of crazy friendship the universe threw at me, it's the family I've been looking for. As Noah said, you're the few people worth living in this hell of a city and I love you all so much. Cheers!”
Everyone raises their glasses once more, toasting her speech. I cross my gaze with Leah, who has also noticed something odd. She still hadn't commented on Monday's episode and I still had it hanging around in my mind.
It was very visible that something was troubling her. Her eyes wandering lost, her disappearance since Monday until today, claiming to be super busy and out of time. Everyone was sensing that something was wrong, but she wouldn't let go or comment on it.
“Especially you.” I focus my attention on her, who settles back into my arms. “Regardless of our future, I like you very much.” she whispers, before pressing her lips to mine. “Please never forget that. Promise?”
I get lost in her eyes, noticing a hint of fear and pain in them. It's horrible to see her like this and not know what to do. For nothing in this world I want her to feel unprotected or alone, she said herself that we are a family, so she wouldn't have to face anything alone.
“Only if you promise me you'll tell me what's going on.” I play hard, not caring if this becomes an issue between us, or if it pushes her away a little.
“Luke…” my name comes out in a painful sigh.
"Marnie." I say her name harshly, wanting her to understand that I won't change my mind.
“I'll tell. Just not today. Today is your day and that's what matters to me. So please let's enjoy?” she begs. As always, I surrender, nodding. I drop a kiss to her forehead, before pulling her to my chest again.
Hastings still looks at me suspiciously and unfortunately I only have reason to agree with her. Something was up with Marnie and she didn't want to tell us.
A minute of silence, our baby is turning 25 today and I am not knowing how to handle it.
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moon-stars01 · 4 years
Text
5 ways to say I love you
Wonwoo x Reader
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Author:leechansmile
Summary: l/n y/n was just pure stupid sometimes.Note the sometimes because it seems like her stupidity only shows with this person; or where y/n is huge ball of mess but gets a lot more messy when Jeon Wonwoo was involved.
Pairing:Wonwoo(Svt) x Reader
Gene:fluff,pinning,cute,affectionate Wonwoo
Rating:General Audiences
Word Count:2800
•5 ways to say I love you•
[ 1 s t w a y ]:
pure stupidity.
that is y/n right at this moment as she picks up her broken phone from the ground.
great! it's damn broken, l/n y/n
"why exactly did you throw it?"
Y/n isn't suppose to hate her seokmin oppa for asking an innocent question but she really doesn't want to rethink it right now, right after the embarrassment that just happened.
you see y/n was minding her own business as usual, it was practice break as she stood up and went to one of the speaker where her phone was placed, she did stuff normally like a normal person would but just as she was about to come back to where she was sitting before, she was approached
and it wasn't anything special, just one of her sunbae's of course, what's so wrong about that to the point you'll throw your phone to the ground for no apparent reason?
well it was Jeon wonwoo
it wasn't a surprise to say y/n admired her friend and how much of a good sunbae he is to her, but it was terrifying everytime she heard her heart beat so fast... because it wasn't normal, her heart shouldn't feel like this for someone like one of her sunbae's.
but it was too late to shut her heart up.
because just as she looks up to her sunbae, the bright smile and the messy hair matching with the bright eyes that looks back at her, she realized something and damn how much she hated that her heart did a flip and it felt normal to her now.
and just from everything, without even a word, she throws her phone to the ground.
matching with the gasp as she looks at what she had done with the device that was now smashed on the ground, probably broken from the way y/n threw it, and y/n made the stupidest decision and looked back up at the reason why that just happened.
and she saw him.
but he was shining, from the room's light he looked flawless and y/n realized
She's in love. She's in love with Jeon Wonwoo.
"Y/n your phone!" Wonwoo looked at the broken phone on the ground with a shocked expression, the members close to them looking over at the scene.
"what happened?" seungcheol made his way looking at the two before looking at the ground and seeing the phone "why is your phone on the ground, y/n?"
She's in love with her sunbae, not just any human but the one that basically raised her.
"did y/n's brain came along with the phone? because both look broken" and at this point y/n would've cursed and chased  seungkwan already but her heart held her body, controlling her feet from moving.
She's in love, oh god she's in love.
[ 2 n d w a y ]:
after the phone accident, y/n almost couldn't take it everytime she was with the older, but that seemed really impossible.
and she thinks she really lost it when it was Wonwoo who bought her a new screen saver with a 'super strong, no drop could break it' phone case, and the phone case was matching with the older's too and it just absolutely made y/n crazy.
but what y/n shouldn't have done is trying cook while Wonwoo was there, because mixing stupidity, being unlucky and cooking together doesn't really match well, so when y/n cracked one damn egg into the pan and a newly woken up Wonwoo ,with messy hair and puffy cheeks, walked into the kitchen, y/n knew she was about to do something she's gonna regret.
at first it looked all fine, like she was left alone by the charm of stupidity for awhile, but when her naturally affectionate Sunbaemin came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, y/n's brain went hostile.
She felt like she was the one being fried and not the egg on the pan, it also didn't help that y/n was just wearing shorts so she absolutely felt wonwoo's pajama rubbing on her legs and just the warmth of the older wrapping around her.
and as much as she loves it and is almost used to it, her brain still failed to associate it as platonic, and made y/n's body just completely panic, so when y/n muttered to the older about the food being ready and the older finally lets go of her, she quickly grabbed plates.
and plates mixing in with y/n wasn't really a perfect fit, hell anything breakable isn't a perfect fit for panicked y/n so as expected, her brain mulfuctioned as the older sat on one of the stools, taking sight of her again, y/n dropped one of the plates, making her and the older jump at the sound.
"whoa y/n are you okay?" Y/n didn't notice her shaking hands and why it was shaking was also unknown as the older stands up to grab a broom to clean it off.
Y/n felt herself grow embarrassed, her face felt a lot hotter and she felt her hands trembling and she just wants to jump out of her skin at that moment.
Y/n also didn't realize that she was just about to step on the broken pieces of the plates until a hand on her wrist snapped her out of her trance again, a worried Wonwoo held onto her wrist as y/n looks at him.
"Y/n you'll hurt yourself, just go and sit on the counter and i'll clean this up" and y/n was about to protest, wanting to be the one cleaning up the mess that she made, but the other knew her way too well that he immediately gave her a strict look making the younger sit down on the counter top watching the older clean up the broken plate.
"you shouldn't be cooking and stuff when you're still half awake, you could seriously get hurt if you're not careful" and y/n wanted to cry in frustration because the other latter doesn't know what he's doing to her.
"but really i was fine, just lost balance a bit–"
"no buts, you can seriously get hurt if you do it like that again, good thing your trusty sunbae is here, huh?" the older held a smile to reassure y/n that it was okay.
but again y/n wanted to cry.
the older had no idea, and y/n was just helplessly falling deeper for him.
[ 3 r d w a y ]:
"i noticed that a plate is missing–"
Y/n spitted out the coffee she was drinking as hansol patted her back as she coughs.
"first of all yuck,y/n what the hell, and two the plate that was missing is jeonghan hyung's favorite so he kinda freaked out"
seokmin rests his hand on the table and told y/n about how jeonghan was trying to find the missing plate and how many times he had interrogated some of the members about the plate y/n broke because of her stupid feelings.
"he asked me right as i came out of the bathroom and i accidentally threw my toothbrush at him" and that made hansol laugh to the point that he was punching
y/n's arm over and over.
"does he really love that plate?" Y/n sips her coffee that was surely too sweet as  she tries to cover up her light nervousness from the topic.
"it was bought by seungcheol hyung, it had a swan on it and hyung absolutely was so smitten over the fact that cheol hyung said that he reminded him of a swan because of hyung's beauty" hansol explained and y/n took more sips as to prove that she was innocent.
"but cheol hyung already calmed him down about it and told him he would buy a new set of it and hyung seems satisfied with that" and with seokmin's shrug y/n's heart felt more relaxed again.
Y/n reached over again for her coffee to take a sip and realized it was empty, "that was my coffee, y/n." and with that y/n smiled awkwardly, standing up to get a cup of it again to give back to hansol.
and glad to say that she successfully got there without anything breaking or something weird happening and she filled the cup with coffee again, ready to get back to the table.
"Y/n i was just trying to find you–" Jeon freaking Wonwoo, oh god no
and just with a gasp y/n tilted the cup to the point that it spilled all over wonwoo's pants and white shoes and was she so happy for doing that (mark the sarcasm).
"–for another practice" the older looked down onto his shoes, the once clean shoes were now stained with coffee and the black joggers was also wet with the drink.
"i am so sorry! oh god" y/n didn't know why she was bowing or why she felt more nervous than any of the time she messed with her other sunbae's.
Wonwoo's face looked shocked and a little bit confused, to which y/n got alarmingly scared of because of how calm he was.
"i'll wash it when we get to the dorm, i'm so sorry!" and y/n was almost crying,she didn't know why but she was close to tears. how many times does she need to mess things up with whom that she fell in love with.
"Y/n, i-it's fine, honestly just–" y/n got scared as Wonwoo sighs "–maybe you need rest just a for a little while, you seem weird for awhile now..."
he noticed. he freaking noticed.
and again y/n wanted to just scream and cry because she's already out of luck of making him return her feelings but also he found her weird. weird!
"i'll get going now y/n... maybe just go home and rest if you wanna" and maybe it was the weird smile he gave that crushed y/n or the view of the other walking away, but either way she was messed up.
in all sorts of way.
[ 4 t h w a y ]:
the beach.
the beach is always fun, especially with your friends or family and to y/n it was an easy place to relax and just have fun, like build sandcastles and play in the water but sadly y/n can't do it because of the weird feeling of being awkward around someone, someone you particularly like more than a sunbae and is probably one of the bestest things in y/n's life.
it was seungcheol's idea for the them to take a break, because they had been on a tight schedule recently and is drained from all of it (or maybe Wonwoo told seungcheol about y/n acting weird and this is a way for y/n to rest, atleast that's what she thinks)
so here is y/n, playing a sport she isn't even good at or doesn't even know that rules of it, it was beach volleyball and seungkwan of course made her join.
don't get y/n wrong,she did know the simple things like serving, receiving and all of those stuff but in over all she just wasn't really into the sport like the others are, but either way she just joined because maybe this will clear her mind up for a bit.
and it did! surprisingly it did, y/n didn't think of the older as they were playing, she heard his voice time to time and she doesn't know if it's because Wonwoo was really there or she was just going crazy but either way she was doing just fine with it.
until of course she messes up.
you see they changed sides of the court as they get into another set, and this time joshua's team was facing the clear way, while y/n's team was facing their hut, where the other guys that are not in the game are resting and y/n almost didn't want to do it because the chances of Wonwoo appearing is huge, much larger than y/n not messing up more likely.
and for some reason it was y/n's turn to serve the ball and it was fine and all,she knew how to do that, it may not be amazing but it was just okay but what wasn't okay is that as she is about to serve the ball her eyes catched Wonwoo walking over at the back of joshua's team, causing y/n to hit the ball not on the other team's direction.
but wonwoo's direction
and before the ball could land she catches wonwoo's eyes and just as it hits the other latter straight on the head,and what made it worse was that it was normal to the other guys but to her it made stuff way worse.
like before y/n bowed and apologized to the older which ended up with the older, again, shrugging her off but what made it worse was wonwoo's last words.
"at this point i don't know if something's wrong with me or is it just you"
and it may mean something else but all if did was the same thing,,, crush y/n's heart.
+ f i n a l w a y+
as soon as they got home after the whole week of suffering for y/n, the younger immediately went to the practice rooms to dance her little heart out, frustrations all released by the dance, making her heart lighter than the weight it was before.
but it seems like she just can't catch a break.
as she dances to a random song from her playlist, the door of the room opens revealing a Jeon Wonwoo looking to want to do the same thing y/n is doing at the moment.
and for some reason her phone's music logged, stopping y/n and making her face the older who is at the door with a blank face.
"Wonwoo–" "just tell me what's wrong y/n?"
Y/n felt her heart in her throat as she gulps down the feeling, looking at the floor and finding it much more interesting now.
"nothing's wrong, everything happening is just accidents–"
Y/n's words gets cut off as Wonwoo walks closer "accidents my ass! it just seems like you're uncomfortable with me, like you're avoiding me, like you're afraid of me–"
Y/n taps her foot on the floor, a sign of nervousness from the older's words
"–you keep on spacing out when you're with me, you get tense and you do all these things and you apologize like the world is mad at you for it! Y/n what the hell is wrong? cause i certainly do not know"
and y/n's walls break, tears slowly falling, it was just small but the drops were enough for the older to see, stepping closer.
"Wonwoo-nim, i-i just–
i fell for you, okay!?"
Y/n felt her breathing being heavy as the air swallows her full, not taking notice of the older stepping more closer to her.
"i love you more than i should've, and i don't know why everytime you're there everything i do gets messed up when all i wanna do is say i love you!" and that's it, y/n felt the air swallow her whole as she looks down again.
"breaking your phone in front of me was an i love you?"
Y/n looked up at the older as she takes a step back and older takes another step closer.
"breaking jeonghan hyung's favorite plate was an i love you?"
step back. one step closer.
"spilling coffee on me was an i love you?"
step back. one step closer.
"hitting me with a volleyball was an i love you?"
Y/n feels the cool glass of the mirror behind her back as Wonwoo corners her in the corner, face closer than before,she can feel the older's breathe on her lips.
"where all of those an i love you?"
Y/n looks down "supposed to be, but–"
"do you think all of those were enough for me to get what you were feeling? huh?"
"no but–"
"then tell me. tell me the exact way."
Y/n closes her eyes "i love you..."
and she felt a pair of lips on her's and she thinks she's dreaming but once she opened her eyes there he was, Jeon Wonwoo with his smiling glory.
and y/n was about to speak when Wonwoo dropped his phone
"i love you too, y/nnie"
maybe her stupidity isn't that bad at all.
+ 1
"you broke your phone too?"
"long story hyung..."
jeonghan looked over at seungcheol as he questions the two
"also hannie-nim i wanna tell you something..."
"hmm?"
and just as that seungkwan broke into the room looking knowing as ever
"JEONGHAN HYUNG Y/N BROKE THE PLATE!"
"oh that's– wAIT WHAT?"
"Calm down, these two just got together we should be happy–"
"L/N Y/N EXPLAIN!"
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Vampires don't have blood quirks
Part two
Tw for blood and loss of control
Training, it was the last lesson before lunch so they were all a little antsy. Mr Aizawa led them all to a large building and told them they were going to play a little game; everyone was given a little marble, and they could store it anywhere on them, the object of the game was to steal as many marbles as possible and the moment you lost your marble, you were out. There were to be three rounds, or at least as many as they could manage before lunch. So they took their marbles and hid them somewhere in their gym outfit, this task would be unfair if they were to use their hero costumes. Tenya certainly knew that it would be easy to hide a marble in his suit- he was half tempted to put it down an exhaust pipe but he knew that was too risky so he simply slid it into his shoe.
The whistle was blown and they all rushed into the building, Tenya knew that fights would break out as soon as the whistle was blown so he ran as deep into the building as he could get- it would be too risky to pick up stray marbles. He was wondering how he should play this while kind of wishing he’d brought a small snack, he’d only had a small juice box for breakfast after all. He simply ignored that and did his best to head around the corridors, sticking to the shadows. It was a good strategy as most other students were running about hunting each other… oh he shouldn’t use that word, it made him think about how much he couldn’t wait for lunch.
His way of doing things paid off, he managed to get second place in the first round, and now in the second round, he already had 4 marbles clasped in his fist. He turned a corner at full speed, suddenly finding himself on his back as a weight landed on his chest. For some reason he couldn’t see who it was… oh wait, “Hagakure?”
She giggled, “yep! Sorry Iida, can I have your marble?”
“Of course you can, you’ve earned it.” he pulled the marble out from its hiding place, holding it out for her, she took it. “This is certainly your kind of exercise isn’t it?”
Hagakure laughed at that, “it is, it's very fun! How about you?”
“It’s definitely fun,” he agreed, pausing when a very familiar smell filled his nose, “are you hurt at all?”
“Hm? Oh I did cut myself slightly earlier but it’s fine, I put a bandaid on it.”
“The bandaid’s come off.”
“Oh? Oh! It has! Thank you Iida!” She finally got off of him, he did his best to hold his breath as he stood up, slowly leaving the building, where he allowed himself to breathe deeply. Great; now he was even more hungry, and they still had a round to go.
The third round, Iida didn’t want to get too close to anyone, he was kicking himself for not getting more breakfast. He could smell Bakugo’s brand new nosebleed from three rooms away, and it was making him dizzy. He resolved himself to just sit in the window of one of the rooms, staring out and trying to breath without smelling anything. It wasn’t like he was trying to make himself hungry, this was just a terrible situation. He prayed no one would come into the room he was hiding in, he didn’t care about his marble but he couldn’t exactly trust himself like this.
He could see the people who were knocked out of the game leaving the building from here, it was a nice distraction but there was a small part of his brain that was begging him to jump down there and hunt. So the footsteps that came too close weren't entirely unwelcome of a distraction, he still froze in place, not wanting to move a muscle for fear he’d lose it. He knew it was Midoriya, from the bouncing footsteps to the scent of fresh cut grass and residue blood. Midoriya was the last person Tenya ever wanted to hurt.
“Iida?”
Oh the hand on his shoulder was a mistake and within seconds Midoriya was pinned against the floor with Tenya perched on top of him. The green haired boy had turned red, staring up at him as Tenya leaned too close, way too close. Tenya knew it was wrong, he knew that, but Midoriya just smelt so good, and he simply couldn’t take it. He inhaled the scent deeply, feeling his heart rate jump up to almost that of a human’s. His mouth had filled with saliva and he felt incredibly warm and adrenaline-filled.
“...I-...Iida..?”
“You’d make a much better damsel than Uraraka…” he was unable to think of anything but how his friend might taste, his engine warming up on its own, the adrenaline kicking it into gear.
“...what?”
“Huh?” Midoriya’s confusion gave Tenya the moment of clarity he needed, “oh! Yes, the marble, where’s the marble?”
“My pocket… are you okay?”
“Mhm!” he nodded, taking the marble from Midoriya’ pocket, “ah you’re out it seems, best get down and tell Mr Aizawa,”
“I can’t, you’re still on top of me.”
“Oh, I’ll just get off of you then…” he stood up, struggling to keep his thoughts coherent.
"Yeah…" Midoriya got up, brushing himself off as he stared at Tenya in confusion, "are you alright Iida? You're…"
"Fine, I'm fine," Tenya waved his hand dismissively, "you should go wait out the rest of the round."
Midoriya hurried off and Tenya was alone with his thoughts, kicking himself for losing his cool the way he did. He couldn't believe he was seriously considering biting him, he would never hurt his friends, he loved his friends. He's never even bitten a human in his entire life, that's not something a hero does! Tenya couldn't shake the feeling that Midoriya's smell had given him though, it had been so incredibly intoxicating, in more than one sense. For a split second he wondered if Midoriya would taste as good as he smelt, he instantly killed that thought the moment he had it- that was something he should never be thinking about, he wasn't a monster!
When the round ended, Tenya stumbled out of the building and stood there silently, trying to ignore the small cuts and bloody noses of his classmates though it drove him crazy. Mr Aizawa had asked them all how many marbles they had, and out of the students still left in the building by the end, Tenya had the least amount of marbles, only having taken one. Bakugo, who had gotten the most, seemed to find this funny. Laughing at Tenya, he leered, "what were you even doing this whole time? Sitting on your ass?"
Tenya just sighed in response, not feeling like retorting, but as class president, he had a duty to take no shit and be an example to his fellow students. "For your information, Bakugo, this isn't really my forte; my quirk and skillset are built for speed and power, not for ambushing and hunting." He was right, although the part about not being built for hunting was incorrect, his entire species was built for that sort of thing.
"You have a point Iida," Mr Aizawa spoke up, "however you were quite good in the first round, and if it wasn't for Hagakure you definitely would have gotten a good score there too. So did something happen this round? Is there a reason for your sudden lapse in performance?"
"Sir?" Midoriya raised his hand quietly, "not to overstep but it was my marble he took and when I found him, he seemed a little… dazed? I don't really know how to describe it…"
Tenya couldn't look at Midoriya, he didn't want to feel the way he'd felt then again. He hadn't meant to freak poor Midoriya out like that, he couldn't imagine a worse thing to happen. Mr Aizawa turned to him, clearly waiting for an explanation of this behaviour, but there was no way Tenya could tell the truth. Instead he just sighed, trying not to meet his eyes, "I am feeling a little… dizzy, sir. I apologize for not doing anything about it."
"Ah, I see. If you're feeling under the weather then you shouldn't push yourself to train, you should have just told me you felt ill."
He bowed his head in shame, "yes sir, my apologies."
"Stop apologizing and go get some rest, class is dismissed, I'll go over my observations with you tomorrow."
The class filed out of the room, most of them heading to the changing rooms or the cafeteria, but Tenya found himself rushing across the campus to get to the dorms. He could feel his mind clouding again as he got through the door, the entire dorms smelled of his friends, it smelt so unbearably human. Quickly making his way up the stairs, Tenya could only pray his friends weren't kind enough to try and check up on him. The moment he got into his room, he slammed the door shut, he was unable to lock it so he did the next best thing and slid a chair under the handle. Hopefully that would keep any would-be-victims out of the room. With the last of his control fading, Tenya let out a groan that quickly turned to a hiss, good gosh he was hungry.
He got to the floor, opening the minifridge that he kept under his bed. Unfortunately he opened it so quickly he tore the door off, but in this state, he really didn't care. All he cared about was feeding. He grabbed the biggest bag he could, not even bothering to use a straw as he tore into it, ignoring how it got on his face; all he could focus on was the taste and how much he needed this.
It was only animal blood; he'd heard that human blood was better but he would never consider trying it, animal blood was all he'd ever done and it should be enough to quell his frenzy. That was what it was, a feeding frenzy; something that happened when a vampire got particularly overwhelmed with thirst. Any control or logic went out the window in favour of doing anything and everything in his power to feed, that was why he'd put the chair under his door handle, he didn't want to get out and during a frenzy he likely wouldn't be able to figure out how to escape. Luckily the blood bags seemed enough for him, and he was happy to just sit there and tear open bag after bag of the red nectar.
After around ten minutes of feeding, Tenya found himself a lot calmer, allowing himself to slow down with the feeding. His floor was littered with empty blood bags now, so he'd probably have to clean up before the next lesson. For now, though, he could just relax and enjoy his lunch, this particular bag was beef blood- his favourite. He was just vibing, he wasn't expecting a knock at his dorm room door. Naturally, he panicked, grabbing all the bags and shoving them into the fridge, not caring if one popped. "One minute!" He hoped they wouldn't be suspicious by how long it took him to get to the door, he didn't have a mop so he had to go at his floor with a tissue.
When he finally opened the door, he saw that it was Midoriya and Todoroki standing there. Midoriya smiled up at him, "are you feeling any better now Iida?"
Tenya smiled, appreciating that his friends were so caring, "of course, I'm perfectly fine now. Not to worry Midoriya, I'm feeling better now."
"That's good!" Midoriya smiled, walking into the room, followed by Todoroki, who frowned the moment he'd stepped through the doorway.
"Wh-" Iida closed the door behind them, "did you need anything more?"
"No, Midoriya suggested we come and check on you to make sure you were doing alright. Have you eaten yet?"
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yarasun · 4 years
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La Douleur Exquise 2; l.jn
• Word Count: 11.8K
• Summary: For you so loved him deeply, but all he needed from you was to satisfy his venereal desires. Lee Jeno was the painful yet ethereal lust, while Na Jaemin was your salvation. To love Lee Jeno was to endure in agony, but what could you do when his own bestfriend made you feel what true love is?
• Author's Note: This is my second one shot under the "Heir / Heiress AU". This part will mention Na Jaemin a little more, but I assure you it still revolves and is associated with Jeno and the reader's relationship. Please do go back to part one before jumping to this. Special credits to the Kdrama "The Inheritors" where I got the business school idea from and also credits to the owner of the photo used as the cover. I hope you guys Lee Donghyuck's Illicit Desire, the first book of this series. Enjoy!
La Douleur Exquise 1
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"How does it feel to have Jaemin's hands all over you? Were you that desperate for attention that you had to sashay Jaemin in front of me?" Jeno growled as he bit marks onto your skin. It's been a week since his message and you've been avoiding him as much as possible. Ignoring his phone calls, and keeping him on read, this enraged Jeno even more, he was restless and he managed to get ahold of you today. As you were passing by, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty classroom. He pulled you closer towards him and you could feel the anger radiate from his body. But you couldn't understand why. Jeno had no rights, and according to him, there were no strings attached to this little relationship of yours.
"Jeno." You whimpered as he placed kisses all over your neck. It was rough and full of lust, but you loved it, you indulged in all the things Jeno did to you, for he was worth all that pain. Lee Jeno was worthy enough to shatter your already damaged heart. He could do anything to you and you would never complain, for Lee Jeno was the epitome of a collision between heaven and hell. He could destroy you with his words of rejection, yet he could patch those wounds by his wet kisses.
"Baby, you are mine. Only mine." He says and pulls away from you. His eyes scanned your features thoroughly. A playful smile crept up his lips and he touched your foreheads together, his eyes staring deeply into your dark ones. "Please stay baby. I need you." Jeno whispers and you hum in response. He didn't have to tell you twice. Despite the numerous tears that stained your pillow and the countless times you had to cover your mouth for your cries to be unheard, you'd still go back to Lee Jeno. Only Lee Jeno could hurt you this way, it was an agonizing desire that burned your soul, leaving it in ashes. Yet, it was still him you see yourself falling for over and over again.
Unaware of the certain someone that stared from afar, you shared yet another rough kiss with Jeno.
"We should get going Jeno. You've skipped too many classes this month." You said and Jeno groans. He hated when you acted strict with him, Jeno did not like being told what to do. He was reckless and unruly, not even Seo Yun nor his friends could suppress that part of him. Although he might not act that way as much as before, Lee Jeno still had his reputations of ruining events and properties. Last year's gala preparations were held back due to the big fight that happened between him and Sunwoo. It ended with Jeno getting a bruised lip, Sunwoo had to get a cast since Jeno pushed him too hard and he stumbled into a pile of arranged chairs and hitting his arm against the tables. Both students were not able to participate the gala. Walking out the classroom, you immediately went to your locker to grab a few books and jogging your way to class. It was 10 minutes before the bell rang but you had to cross over to the opposite building for your class.
"I expected you to be smarter than that." Jaemin said the moment you took your seat beside him. Confused, you frowned at him and crossed your arms over your chest.
He looks over at you and combed his black hair with his fingers. "You always go back to Lee Jeno, despite the pain he brings you. How much more until you realize you and him would never work out princess?" He says and your heart froze at what he said. Na Jaemin was right, he always was. But you loved Jeno, and despite knowing that it was wrong, you couldn't help it, you already fell for Jeno. You fell and still continue falling into this bottomless pit of darkness, unsure what lies ahead.
"Jaemin-" Before you could finish your sentence, the sound of the school's speakers blared through the entire school. "Students in Class 4A to 4C, your subject teachers are unable to meet with you, so all of you are free to leave the school campus early for today." Professor Kim's voice rung in your ears.
"I just wished you'd realize that he could never love you the way I do. And, I do genuinely hope you'd change your point of view and give me a chance. But I guess not." He said and stood up to exit the classroom. With the blink of an eyes, Jaemin was gone, and what he said to you stuck like glue.
Na Jaemin liked you? What a turn of events.
___
"Tell me. Do you really like her?" Jaemin asks as Jeno types vigorously on his phone, his eyebrow raised at Jaemin's question but spared him no look at all. "Jeno, you can't always expect for her to be there to fulfill your sexual desires. Y/N is not some toy you play around with." Renjun butts in, his glasses drooping from his face as he scribbles roughly on his notes.
The group decided to stay in their hangout spot for a few hours before actually going home. Since Jeno had been ignoring his friend, Jaemin thought this was the perfect opportunity to confront him about you. And Renjun was onboard this plan too. Although you and Renjun never talk, it didn't take a genius to notice the way Jeno has been mistreating you. He knew you were a good person, you ranked above the 20 places during exams, and you were also classmates in one subject.
"Who?" Jeno asks clearly annoyed with the two interrogating him. Deep inside he crossed his fingers that Donghyuck would just shut his mouth about the situation, for Donghyuck was always a pain in the ass to talk to, let alone have a debate with. "Look, I don't know if you're stupid or heartless, but Jeno, Renjun is right." Well it seemed like the gods hated him. Donghyuck speaks up, leaning back on his chair and blowing a puff of breath.
"So, will you just keep telling me all these things, while I am clearly dumbfounded as to who you guys are talking about?" Jeno spits out, slamming his phone on the table.
"Y/N!" Both Jisung and Chenle shouts, piqued at the tension inside the room. It seems that Jaemin, Renjun and Donghyuck were not the only ones that knew about your little relationship with Jeno, the younger ones were always observant about every little detail. If only it were possible, Jeno would've just dived into the gateway to the underworld. He'd rather die in the hands of Cerberus, or even Hades himself than to discuss about what was going on between you and him to his friends.
Jaemin closed his notebook and stared intently at Jeno, "Do you really like Y/N or not?" He asked. His voice dropped an octave lower, which shocked the others at the sudden change of tone. Jaemin was never the one to be too serious about anything, he looked at things in such a cheerful perspective, but now, it seemed all the jokes drained out of his body. Jaemin was grim, and it scared his friends, especially Lee Jeno.
"No. I don't." He answered and from there, it was as if someone had poured gasoline on the already burning flames of rage in Jaemin's system. "Then why do you still mess around with her?" Donghyuck asked, setting his pen on the table and looking up at Jeno.
"Because she's naïve. She thinks we can have this happily ever after despite knowing I'll be engaged to Seo Yun after all this." That was the last strand, Jaemin lunges towards Jeno, grabbing his collar and giving him one hard punch on his face. Everyone was taken aback by his sudden action, except for Jeno, he smirked at his friend in a daring and playful way.
"Did Na Jaemin fall in love for that cheap trash that I hook around with? Do you really enjoy picking up my leftovers? You're pathetic." Jeno taunts and before Jaemin could send another blow, Jisung pulls him away. Chenle and Donghyuck held onto Jeno, trapping him in order to avoid him pouncing on Jaemin. Meanwhile, Jisung hugged Jaemin tightly, stripping him of any way to reach Jeno.
"Jeno stop it. Jaemin calm down." Renjun steps in, his hands on both Jeno and Jaemin's chest. Despite his smaller frame compared to the others, the group fears Huang Renjun for he was always the one that kept everyone in line, especially at things like this
"This is stupid. You're dumb enough to freaking play around with feelings, yet it was wrong of Jaemin to pounce on you like that. I get that neither of you agree on the ways you feel for Y/N, but will you really cause another ruckus just for her?" Renjun says, dropping his hand to his sides while the members slowly loosened their grips on the two boys. Glaring at Jeno, Jaemin grabs his bag and leaves the room before the others could stop him. Lee Jeno was heartless, and he hated that. He could never look at his friend the same way ever again. He despised Lee Jeno, and he hoped you'd hear him out.
As soon as Jaemin walked out the room, a devilish grin played on Jeno's lip. He's always known about the feelings of affection Jaemin had for you, but he was selfish. He liked playing with you, he relished in the thought of how easy it was to fool you, to simply use you for his own selfish gains. Seeing his best friend fall head over heels for you was like the cherry on top his favorite milkshake. He savored the idea of Na Jaemin going out of his way to save you from him.
"Jeno. Please stop. Not only are you hurting her, Jaemin is in pain by simply watching Y/N act stupid for you. And soon enough, your father and Seo Yun might find out about it. Her father will lose his job." Donghyuck says, his arm patting Jeno's shoulder.
Renjun sighed beside Jeno and took off his glasses, setting it on the table. "Are you that heartless? To strip away a family's source of income just so you can satisfy your sexual desires?" Renjun asked while packing his bag. Jisung and Chenle were simply listening to the conversation while they shared a can of soda.
Jeno rolled his eyes at their remarks, but he couldn't help but think, was he really that bad? Maybe he was, but he would never admit his fault, for his pride was one of the things he valued too much. Grabbing his bag and keys, he exited the room and headed to the school's parking lot. A drift around the streets of Seoul would clear his mind, he thought.
Fisting his black hair, Jaemin opens the door to his car and places his bag in the backseat. He was infuriated with the words that spilled out of Jeno's mouth; it drove him crazy. He never knew that his own friend was capable of saying such bleak claims. He understood that Jeno needed you to calm him down, but to the extent of calling you trash and treating you like you were less of a human; it was irrelevant.
"What's got you thinking so deep hm?" Your voice, it was a soothing and a warm melody to Jaemin's ears. Looking up, your eyes connect with each other's and it was as if all of his problems drained out of his body. You've always been his source of relaxation; with you he was calm and collected. Therefore, he refers to you as his lifeline. He depends on you to maintain his serenity. And you were always successful in doing so, for a simple smile from you had always worked effectively on Na Jaemin.
At a loss for words, Jaemin simply grabs your arm and pulls you into his embrace. He was warm and soft, you wrapped your arms on his torso as he wraps one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your head, pushing your head deeper into his blazer. It was a comforting gesture, an escape to all the stress you've been through the past few weeks. "I need you princess." He whispers.
Pulling away from him, you stare up into his eyes and smiled softly, "I'm here Jaemin. You can talk to me." You said and he pulls you into another embrace. A few more minutes passed and the two of you remained in the same position until you pulled away since you had to head home, in which Jaemin offered to drive you back.
___
Your eyes were burning due to the lack of sleep, so you opted to put away your notebooks and get ready for bed. Glancing at the clock, it showed 2:13 a.m. therefore, you really needed to be in bed. You sighed and stood up from the table to walk towards your bed. Your phone buzzed from your table so you grabbed it and placed the covers over your body. Surely, your father was asleep in the room opposite from yours so he wouldn't really mind if you were still awake at this hour.
"Baby. Can we talk tomorrow?" It was a message from Jeno. Shaking your head, you left him on read and tucked yourself in your bed, drifting off into a deep, and much needed slumber.
You woke up to the sound of your alarm, and you scrambled out of bed to prepare breakfast for your father. He usually woke up later than you since his shift started around 10 am. As you grabbed your phone, a notification displayed on your screen. "Meet me at the school's fountain by 7." It was another message from Lee Jeno.
You settled the device on the table and walked out your room to prepare. As soon as you were done, you knocked on the door of your father's room and bid him goodbye, with a matching kiss on his cheeks. Then, you exited the apartment to head to school.
"I didn't think you'd show up baby." His voice greeted you as soon as you took a step towards him. He pulls you into a tight embrace and you realized how much you missed Jeno acting soft with you. For the past few months, he was always on edge. Maybe it was due to the stress that was gaining on him, knowing he'd have to take over the company as soon as he graduated.
Families like Lee Jeno's and his friends, it was never that simple. Sure, they had privileges and everything they wanted, was always served on silver platters. But that would never change the fact that they experience tremendous amounts of pressure and high expectations from the people around them. Every one of them was bound to be successful, if not, they'd be humiliated and could even be the cause of the possible downfall of their family businesses. Which is the reason why you've always had high respects for students like Lee Jeno and his friends.
Especially Lee Donghyuck. He was an heir to the second biggest medicinal company all over South Korea. Of course, the biggest belonged to his best friend, or according to Na Jaemin, his girlfriend? It was a risky decision if you do say so yourself. But who were you to judge, you were also risking yourself for a wretched relationship? Huang Renjun owned the school and his mother also owns one of the best boutiques in China. Na Jaemin's family owned a bunch of hotels throughout Asia, which actually makes him one of the richest in their group. Zhong Chenle was the grandson of one of China's wealthiest entrepreneurs and even his mother opened up her own company, in which Chenle might inherit. Park Jisung's family owns one of the best dance studios in Seoul and he is a choreographer in the industry. Overall, the Dreamies were a group of wealthy, successful and well-known individuals throughout the country.
"I would always be at your beck and call, Jeno. It'll always be that way." You whispered and he hugged you tighter. You could feel his body heat radiate and it warmed you up. Jeno always had 2 sides to him; the rough and lustful one, but there was also the soft and fuzzy Jeno. He always confused you with his ever-changing approach.
"Baby, I have to attend a business gala with Seo Yun tonight. But can I count for you to be at Mark's party tomorrow night?" He asked, his chin atop your head. For the first time in months, Jeno actually felt comfortable and welcoming.
You pulled away and stared at him, "I'll try Jeno." And yet again, he flashes another beautiful smile. Jeno was sensuous, his well-proportioned body, toned abs that could be visible through his white shirt, and his sharp jawline that highlights his features.
Indeed, Jeno had the charisma of a Greek god, he was astonishing. Lee Jeno possessed the radiating beauty of the sun god Apollo but he was cursed with Ares' wrath and temper. He was an explosion caused by the collision of heaven and hell, he wreaks havoc in his wake and does not look back on those he hurt. Jeno was a whole chapter from the Greek mythology, but he could never be the whole book, for he tore pages off himself since the day his sister fled. He was missing himself, and that was the reason why he needed you. He needed you to fill in his gaping holes.
___
He's been there for weeks. Every time you walked by to head to your locker, he was always there with his head hung low and his hood covered his features, but you knew well enough who he was. Lee Jeno, he was the new heir to the Corsair Realty, one of the biggest real estate companies in South Korea. Supposedly, it was his sister that as to take over their company, but rumor has it that she fled the country to pursue her own career. It was simply a mere conclusion, but maybe that was the reason why you've seen Jeno mope around for the past weeks.
"Are you alright?" Your voice was even softer than it usually was and that made Jeno peek up, his head raising slightly as one eye stared at you. He seemed intimidating, even with just one of his eyes glued on you. You felt bad for the guy and decided that you might come up and talk to him.
As far as you knew, Lee Jeno was a part of the Dreamies. They're a small group of students in your school that had the titles of "wealthiest" and "most privileged" students. The group consisted of seven members, and they were very picky, refusing other people to join their group, wherein only the seven of them could be worthy of being a Dreamie. Somewhat, a clique if you do say so yourself.
The Dreamies were significantly popular, not only in the school but also throughout the country. For all the members were heirs of some of the biggest industries in South Korea. Mark Lee, he was the Canadian boy with jet black hair and adorable smile. He was the oldest amongst the group, being born in 1999. Mark was a senior in your school, and one of the highest achievers in their grade. His family owns a manufacturing company in both South Korea and Canada, which is the sole reason why he might leave the country after their graduation, for he will take over the company in Canada.
Next, Huang Renjun. Renjun was probably one, if not, the most well-known student in the school for his family owned the school itself. Aside from that, he originally came from China, and his mother owns one of the best boutiques there. Renjun was the smallest amongst their group, yet he was one of the most intimidating, for he always walked around the school with his sharp stares and burning gazes. It was not often to see Huang Renjun smile, unless he was with his friends. He sported this blonde hair with soft streaks of rainbow colors in pastel at the tips of it. Along with Na Jaemin and Lee Donghyuck, the three of them are some of the smartest students in your grade.
Na Jaemin, he was beautiful, like some prince charming ripped from the pages of a fairy tale. Unlike Renjun, Jaemin was always spotted smiling and greeting everyone who greeted him. He was adorable and always had this positive vibe around him. Jaemin loved to joke with his friends and make those around him laugh. He was known to be the angel of their group for he was clingy and loved to shower his friends with soft affection.
Lee Donghyuck was like a collision between Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin. He could be as frigid and sassy as Renjun yet, he had the same positive vibe just like Na Jaemin. He had such contrasting personalities, nevertheless, his friends seem to get along with him well. Maybe that was why Donghyuck stood out from his friends, all of them stood out. However, Lee Donghyuck always had this bright vibe around him, which is why he was named "Sunshine Hyuck". Aside from his playful persona, Lee Donghyuck was the smartest amongst them, which was another reason he could be easily identified amid their friend group.
Zhong Chenle was well known as the wealthiest member. He was the grandson of one of the most successful and well-off entrepreneurs in China, and his mother owned one of the largest manufacturing company in the country. Chenle was adorable, his vibes were like strawberries and marshmallows. Besides his cute and childish persona, he was often called as the "Dolphin" due to his high-pitched screams and laughs, which you only ever heard whenever he was with his friends.
Park Jisung, he was prodigious. At such a young age, he held the title of "Nation's Best Dancer" in Korea. Well, that was no surprise since his family owned one, if not the best dance studio in Seoul. Both his parents were preeminent dancers, including Jisung himself. At the age of 14, he started teaching small groups and choreographed a bunch of performances that were absolutely phenomenal.
And last but not the least was this gorgeous man I front of you. Lee Jeno. He was often distinguished as the troublemaker in the group. Jeno possessed this bad boy vibe, which suited him well - that you could never deny. Unlike his friends, he was supposedly the only one amongst them that was not an heir, and he never wanted to be. He believed that the responsibilities and expectations that came with it was not something he would enjoy. Jeno was wild, recalcitrant and he never likes the idea of people telling him what to do. He wants to do whatever he likes without any second thoughts and without the criticism weighing down on his back. But all that changed when his sister fled the country, leaving Jeno to inherit the company.
"Why are you here?" He asked, his voice was deep and hoarse - it sounded as if he was in pain. Trapped inside the mazes of his thoughts, running around, unable to find a way out, yet Jeno would never disclose that thought to his friends. He was afraid of being judged.
You smiled bitterly and extended your arm forward, offering him a cup of coffee that you bought for Heio's. IT has always crossed your mind to approach him for you felt the need to ask him if he was alright, and today seemed like a good day to do so. So, you stopped over at Heio's and ordered a caramel milkshake and some Vanilla latte, something sweet for Lee Jeno. You didn't even know if he liked coffee, but it was worth a shot.
He takes a swift glance at the cup extended towards him and narrows his eyes at you, "What is this?" He asked, clearly still confused and maybe annoyed as to why you initiated a conversation with him in the first place.
"A Vanilla latte, I figured maybe if you were not a big fan of coffee, this was something a little less strong." You answered, yet with such dulcet and baffled voice, it almost sounded like a question. Jeno brings his eyes back to the cup in your hands, and slowly reaches out for it, mumbling a thank you.
"I'll ask again, why are you here?" He asked as he took a small sip from the cup, his thin pink lips slowly leaving the cup. You took the time to stare at Lee Jeno and his enthralling features. Sharp jawline, soft pink lips and cat like eyes that disappears into thin slits whenever he smiled. He was agonizingly beautiful, like a fallen star that ripped through the sky and landed in earth. He was bewitching, however, don't let his charms blind you, for Jeno was never innocent in the first place. He was often distinguished as the troublemaker of the group.
Jeno often got into fights, and most of them end up to be a physical fight, and he has to be sent home to treat his wounds. Now, you were never classmates with Jeno, however Jaemin and Renjun were in some of your classes. With no intention to pry, you'd accidentally read the message from Donghyuck in their group messages with the quote, "He's done it again. Jeno is all bruised and was sent home." And by the end of the day, word has already spread about another fight that Lee Jeno took participation in.
"I've seen you here a lot more lately, and I knew something was wrong. So, I decided to come up and talk with you." You muttered, fiddling with your fingers for the way Lee Jeno stared at you made you feel so small. He had such a powerful and intimidating gaze, maybe that was why his friends never got in his way whenever they had arguments.
As mentioned, if Mark was not around, Huang Renjun tends to be the one to watch over the group, keeping each other in line, yet none of them had a say whenever Jeno wanted to do something that was against their will. Lee Jeno had the aura of an alpha; he was born to lead and protect his friends. However, he never acknowledged it, for despite his powerful demeanor, Jeno always had a soft spot for his friends, he could never bear the thought of having a huge fight with any of the members. For he believed, they were the only ones that could truly go with his pace.
That was until he met you, when his heart set ablaze for the first time.
"Look, thanks for your concern, but I don't need it." He answered and stood up. That was the first time you got to fully indulge in Lee Jeno's full attributes. He stood tall and proud, he resembled a young deity, and his presence was holy and powerful. Lee Jeno was ravishing, you could definitely understand why the school hallways were packed every time his group walks by the corridors. They were full of visuals, all of them were graced with such beauty that radiated gorgeously off their bodies.
And with that, Jeno left you wondering to yourself why your heart was drumming against your chest. What was this feeling? And why did you feel like this just because of Lee Jeno? Unconsciously, a smile crept up our lips as his large figure disappeared from your view. Shrugging off the weird feeling, you stood up and left the spot, heading to your classroom in time for the first class of the day.
It's been weeks since you first talked with Jeno and you still saw him by the bench beside the school's fountain, and he still had that disappointed and tired look etched on his face. "You're here again." You said as you handed him another steaming cup of vanilla latte. Jeno peeked up to meet your gaze and slowly grabbed the cup of coffee from your hand.
"You're here too." He says and moves slightly to make some space for you. You smiled slightly and took your seat beside him. He attaches his lips to the cup and takes a small sip of the latte, his eyes fluttering as the sweet taste burns his tracks and sets his body in flames. He wasn't able to get enough rest for the past months and he really needed that energy to boost him up.
"Why do you always show up here huh?" He asks, moving his head slightly to take in your features. Long black hair, soft lips and scattered freckles on your face. You had an innocent look and he never wanted to be the one to stain that part of you. Since that day you first came up to him, he was never able to get your image off his mind, it's like you were there to remind him that despite the hell he was treading, there would always be a light at the end, and that light could possibly be you.
"It just seems like you need company." You said and Jeno chuckled, it was the first time you ever heard him laugh near you. Like said before, Lee Jeno only enjoys with his friends, without them he walks around the school with such dangerous vibes, it seemed as if he held the gates to Tartarus in his hands.
"Well thanks a lot for that, but I can manage." He says, his fingers grazing the rim of the cup softly, as if his mind was drowning deeply in his own thoughts. You smiled bitterly and stared up the sky, letting the bright rays of the sunlight caress your skin.
"You know, if you're in deep pain, it's never wrong to tell your friends or someone about it. Keeping it to yourself just adds a weight on your shoulders." You said and Jeno stops midway, his finger leaving the rim of the cup and he stared up at you.
"I know that, but I would never let my friends carry that burden on their shoulders. It's my problem, and I couldn't be selfish by dragging them into it." He says firmly, his voice an octave deeper than before.
"If they really treated you as a good friend, despite how heavy that is, they will share that burden with you without complaint. Because friends will always be there to pick you up in your darkest times." You smiled at him and stood up from your spot. It was almost time for your class and you couldn't be late.
"Hey, is there a possibility that you could be that friend?" He asked and you looked back at him, flashing him your brightest smile and a small nod, before you finally disappeared from his view.
___
A bitter smile crept up your lips as you reminisced the moments of when your friendship started with Lee Jeno. Both of you were so naïve back then, none of you would've ever thought that he would be the cause of your affliction and that he would be the one to play with your emotions. How you wish you never looked back at him and flashed that smile of yours a year ago.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you fished it out to check the notification. It was a message from Na Jaemin.
"Hey princess, are you going to the party tomorrow?" Jaemin usually arrived in school at around 8 am so he probably is on his way so you typed up a reply and headed into the library. Finals were coming closer than you imagined and Jaemin decided to help you out by studying with you for the next few weeks.
"I might. It depends though." And with that, you walked all the way to the library, when you arrived it was quiet, most of the students usually arrive in school around 8 or 9 am, it pretty much depended on the schedules. But you favored heading to school early just so that it's less crowded and you could study in peace for at least an hour before others started piling in.
You took out your notebook and a book based on your topics, rewriting some terms and highlighting them, going over the notes a few times before moving on the next ones. Due to the number of lessons you had to go through, you totally lost track of time until Jaemin's name and picture popped on your phone's screen. It was an incoming call from Na Jaemin himself.
"I'm in the library, where can I find you princess?" He asked and you gave him directions to where you were seated. In less than a few seconds, Jaemin arrived with his heartwarming smile and took a seat beside you, settling his stationaries on the table.
Both of you went through the lessons a few times and helped each other in certain topics where one was confused in. Overall, it was very effective tactic since Jaemin was pretty smart and you both could learn a lot form each other. Checking the time, it was almost 9 and your classes were about to start, however Jaemin's one was at 9:30 so you decided to head out first and meet up with him after class.
As you were taking down notes, Renjun's cellphone buzzed and unconsciously, your eyes trailed on the notification. It seemed to be a message from Donghyuck.
"They're at it again. Jaemin and Jeno, in the room. I need help! Jisung and Chenle are in class." Renjun knew you read it and he glanced at you; your face depicted the emotions you were feeling. Horrified and in utter shock.
"Professor may we be excused? It's urgent." Renjun speaks up and the professor nods his head quickly. He didn't question him further for he knew who Huang Renjun was, and aside that, Renjun was not one to lie, when he says it's urgent, it is. And with that, Renjun grabs your hand and pulls you out of the classroom.
"I know only you can calm Jeno down, as soon as we arrive, you need to be on his side. We'll handle Jaemin." He says both of you zip through the never-ending hallway. After a few minutes, we arrived in front of a classroom with a sign that says "Authorized Persons Only, Dreamies Territory". Renjun gave me one last reassuring nod and he turns the knob to open the door.
"Damn it. I told you to stay away from her. You bring her nothing but pain!" You could hear Jaemin's once angelic voice turn into this intimidating growl as he grabbed Jeno's collar.
Jeno was smirking, a few stains of blood decorated his lips and Jaemin has a cut on the side of his eyebrow, probably due to the rings on Jeno's fingers when he punched him. Snapping out of your reverie, you rushed towards Jeno and pushed him away from Jaemin.
"Stop it. Jaemin that's enough." Renjun's voice echoes in the room as he tugged on Jaemin's arm while Donghyuck acted as a boundary between the two boys, his palms on both their chests. You could feel the anger radiate from both their bodies, never have you imagined that they could go to such lengths due to an argument.
"Donghyuck, get Jaemin out of here." Renjun ordered the younger boy and he nodded, dragging Jaemin out of the room, leaving you, Jeno and Renjun in the tensed room. Renjun glances at you and Jeno, your hands were in Jeno's larger ones as you stared up at his eyes.
"Will you be able to handle Jeno?" The boy asked and you nodded. With that, he left you with Jeno as he ran after the two boys. Turning back at Jeno, you cupped his cheeks and forced him to look at you. His hair was all messed up and his lips had blood on it, yet he still gave you a proud smile.
"I'm here Jeno. Breathe and talk to me." You whispered and he pulled you into a tight embrace, his chin rests on top of your head and he breathes in heavily, shaking slightly in the process. The scenario played out once more in your mind and what Jaemin said the moment you came in. Who could they be talking about? You?
"Baby, you mean so much to me. I need you." He murmurs in your hair and you closed your eyes, indulging in Jeno's words, despite knowing not 100% of it was true. Jeno could never feel that way for you, for you were simply his form of pleasure, the one who he relies on to boost his ego and make him feel better about himself. You were the one he needed to fill those holes, but you alone, isn't enough for him to be truly satisfied. You could never be enough for Lee Jeno, you were something temporary, easily replaceable.
You simply hummed in response and pulled away from him. Caressing his bruised lip, you look around the room, in search for a first aid kit. Jeno points to a shelf beside the television set and you walk over towards it, grabbing the kit and settling it on the bar table. Jeno walked towards the stool and took a seat, facing you.
You cleaned up his bruises and simply stared at him for a couple seconds. He was agonizingly beautiful. Like flowing lava, it was mesmerizing and elegant looking, yet when you touch it, it burns and leaves a mark. Lee Jeno was exactly like that; you knew it since the day you came up to him. How you wished you avoid getting in his business back then, you could've spared yourself from one excruciating heartbreak.
___
Your phone buzzed as you walked out the classroom, you weren't able to focus well in classes due to the incident with Jeno and Jaemin. The scenario just kept playing in your mind like a broken tape record, you were eager to find out what was the cause of their argument. However, you respected their privacy, so you had to tone down the curiosity and focus, even just 20%.
"I'll meet you at the school's parking lot. Wait for me by my car, I'll just drop off some of my things." It was Jaemin, both of you agreed to meet up after classes since he really wanted to go shopping with you. Since it was Mark's party tomorrow and Saturday, you obliged.
You made your way out to the parking lot and caught a glimpse of the blue Lexus in the front row. Another thing about the Dreamies, most of their cars have privileges too. It was well known that the Dreamies had their desired parking spot in the school, which was always up front. Jeno's Mercedes, Jaemin's Lexus, Donghyuck's Porsche, Renjun's Jaguar and Chenle's Bugatti were always the spotlight of the parking lot. Meanwhile, Jisung gets dropped off in his Bentley, however, after this school year, his parents are allowing him to drive for himself.
You stood in front of Jaemin's car as you flipped through some notes while waiting for him. It didn't take him long, after a few minutes, the sound of the car clicking snapped you out of your reverie and you saw Jaemin walk up to you with a soft smile on his lips. "Hi princess." He greets, grabbing your hands and intertwining your fingers together.
"Ready to go?" He asked and you nodded softly, he smiles and lets go of your hand, allowing you to walk to the passenger seat and getting in the car. He jogs over to the driver's and gets in, closing the door and revving the coupe to life. He steps on the gas pedal and pulls out of the school campus, driving off into the main road.
Jaemin was warm, he was always that way. He had this comforting vibe that engulfed you, it was as if he was always there to give you a hug. Once again, it crossed your mind, why couldn't you have fallen for Na Jaemin instead? Why did it have to be Lee Jeno and his devilish aura? You felt a hand graze your and intertwining your fingers. You look beside you to be faced with Jaemin's heartwarming smile.
"What's on your mind princess?" He asked, his gaze back on the road. Jaemin was an amazing driver, he drives fast yet in a smooth way. Unlike Jeno, who treats the road like a race track, zooming past all the cars and obstacles on the way, after the car ride every car ride, you were cursed with a throbbing pain in your head. But, Jeno enjoyed the idea of fast cars and screeching tires, he dwelled in the fantasies of being able to test the limits of his Mercedes.
"Nothing." You simply replied and leaned comfortably in his seats as he places soft kisses on the back of your hand, calming your chaotic mind. As the car ride continued, your mind wandered off once more, the argument between Jeno and Jaemin.
Who could they be talking about? Seo Yun? But, Jaemin was never close with Seo Yun, he thought of her as someone who smooches off the Dreamies and gains fame by being Jeno's girlfriend. She would often ask Jeno to accompany her shopping, and it would always end up with him spending a couple hundred thousand on her. A gold digger, as deemed by Na Jaemin himself.
___
The trip to the mall was not bad. Aside from you and Jaemin arguing half the time that you would pay for the numerous bags of clothes that he picked out for you, it was definitely a fun experience. He dragged you into a bunch of the most luxurious brands and picked out a bunch of different clothes for you. You felt bad so you offered to pay, however Jaemin insisted that it was his gift for you. And Jaemin didn't take no for an answer.
So, you entered the apartment with 3 bags in your hands, and Jaemin following behind with a few more. "Good evening sir." Jaemin greeted your father as he settled the bags on the table. Your father stood up to greet him and initiated small talks with the boy. You smiled at the sight of them getting along as you tidied the table, and placing the takeout orders of food that Jaemin bought for dinner.
"Please enjoy the food. I have to leave. I'll see you again soon sir. Y/N, I'll pick you up tomorrow." Jaemin bid goodbye and left the apartment. You turned to your father who had a questioning look on his face. He sat down on the chair and waved at you to join him.
"Is he your boyfriend?" He asked and you laughed, shaking your head in response. Your father knew Jaemin and his social status as the heir to the largest string of hotels in Asia. He had high respects for the younger boy, for he saw the generosity, kindness and humbleness that Na Jaemin possessed. Your father had an adoration for Jaemin, saying how he would've liked to have a son like him. Which was the reason why he loved to tease you with him.
"Does Lee Jeno still make your heart flutter?" He asked out of the blue and your lips formed a straight line. Unable to find the proper words to answer him, you opted to simply shut your mouth. Knowing the answer well, your father nodded and decided to just eat and let you rest.
You sat on your bed, your mind wandering off to Lee Jeno. He was divine, holy. Possessing such celestial glow that only he could sport well. Jeno was your heaven and your hell. He brought you into nirvana, where you could lose all your problems, and forget about everything that bothered you. Jeno gives you that illusion of being in utopia, as if everything was perfect and set in the right tracks. However, Jeno was hell at the same time. He dragged you down into this never-ending pit of flames that scorched your skin slowly, but surely. With every kiss you shared, and every breathy moan that escaped your lips, you knew well enough you have sinned, and there was no way you could be forgiven. For it was the devil who you sold your heart to.
Sighing, you stood up once more to pick up the bags that were on your bedroom floor. Unboxing the clothes from the bags, you settled them on the bed and scanned all the different outfits that Jaemin bought for you. There was plenty of options to choose from, he liked the idea of spoiling you, in which ended up with your wardrobe full from the numerous designer brand outfits that Jaemin purchased specially for you.
You adjusted the skirt on your waist and lifted your head to look at the mirror. You were wearing a simple semi-see-through long sleeved polo tucked into a black skirt, paired with a pair of black boots and a black ribbon hung loosely on your neck. Jaemin really wanted you to wear this outfit for the party tomorrow so you tried it on to see how it would fit, and it suited you in a chic way. Smiling at your reflection, you turned around to undress and hung the outfit on your rack to prepare for tomorrow's party.
"Hey Princess, get some sleep. I'll pick you up at 4 tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Baby, I can't pick you up since I have somewhere to go before the party, but I'll see you there? Night."
Your phone buzzed from your table, you grabbed it and checked the notifications. It was a message from Jaemin, and there was one from Jeno too. A coincidence, you thought. Typing in your replies, you settle the phone back on the table and slipped into your covers, falling asleep almost instantly.
___
Slipping your black boots on, you stood up and stared at yourself in the mirror. A smile crept up your lips as you twirled around, you looked livelier in the outfit Jaemin picked. A few minutes later, a knock was heard at the door and you walked out the room to answer the door.
As soon as you swung the door open, Jaemin's beautiful smile greeted you. He was wearing a gray t-shirt, black ripped jeans and he had a black denim jacket over it. It looked like a simple outfit, yet the cost was not as cheap as it looked, for Jaemin's clothes were all from top tier designers.
"You look spectacular princess. It hurts my heart." He teases and kisses your cheek, grabbing your hand and pulling you out into the hallway. Intertwining your fingers, both of you walk down the stairs of the building and head to his car.
"Do you like the outfit that I picked out for you princess?" He asked as soon as he pulled out of the basement's parking lot. Jaemin's eyes fixated on the road as maneuvers the car into the main road. He grabbed your hand and places it on the gear, covering it with his larger ones.
"It's really pretty." You answered and a proud smile was prominent on his lips. The car ride was comfortable and quiet, aside from the small talks between you and Jaemin. Most of the time you were just staring out into the horizon as his Lexus LC500 zips around Seoul, the tall buildings and other vehicles passing by in a blur.
Soon enough, Jaemin pulled up in front of a large gateway, it was painted black and there was an obvious carving of the word "Lee" on the metal gate. A man came up to Jaemin's window as he rolled it down. "Na Jaemin." Was all Jaemin said and the man nodded, giving a signal and the gates opened, allowing entrance for Jaemin's car to enter. So, this was Mark Lee's house?
"I thought Mark lived in an apartment?" You asked as Jaemin found a parking space, slowly backing into the empty spot. There were a heck ton of cars around. Afterall, half the school was invited. This was somewhat a farewell party to send Mark off since he would be leaving the country to supervise their company in Canada for a few months.
"Well yes, but specially for this farewell party, his parents allowed him to use their house as the hosting venue. But his parents are not home. They went for a meeting in America, leaving the house all to Mark's care while they're gone." Jaemin explains, and finally turns off the engine. Unclicking the seatbelts, Jaemin exits the car and jogs over to your door, opening it and extending his hand out to you.
Jaemin was a gentleman, he was respectable and an angel. Whenever you were with him, it was as if a cloud was coating you, for he was too soft and fuzzy. He always made you feel comfortable and you never had to hide your true identity from Jaemin, for he accepted all of you without judgement. He made you feel like you were worth the world, he treated you like you were someone special, and not just some low tier student that got a scholarship from the father of you were hooking up with.
Once again, he grabs your hand and laced your fingers together, and walking into Mark's colossal home. From the parking lot, there was a concrete path that led you into a spacious garden filled with different types of flowers and plants. In the middle of the garden, there was a water fountain and a little swing. Following the path, it led you into the mansion's patio. It was decorated with a bar and some islands that scattered all over the place. There was also a grill that served some barbecued menus with a few matching waiters and waitresses ready to serve the partygoers. Up ahead, there was a sliding glass door that served as an entrance to the house itself. You were pretty sure that the loud music came from the house, it blared through the speakers all over the mansion as everyone swung their bodies from side to side, having the time of their lives.
"Hey Jaemin. I see you brought Y/N with you." It was Donghyuck, it sounded as if he was not too pleased with seeing you here. He had his fingers intertwined with a smaller girl with beach waves and soft caramel skin. Was she the best friend and girlfriend of Donghyuck that Jaemin talked about? She was really pretty, and she had a matching friendly smile that complimented her innocent beauty.
"Yeah, I thought it was unfair if I was the only one that showed up without a date. So, I brought her here." Jaemin answered, patting the elder's back and continuing with their conversation. Your eyes wandered around Mark Lee's house, aweing the intricate designs that adorned the surroundings.
"It's beautiful right?" Donghyuck's girlfriend speaks up as she pointed to a cabinet made entirely with glass. Your eyes sparkled as it scanned the contents of the furniture. There were pictures, medals and certificates well organized and displayed.
"Those are Mark's achievements. There are numerous pictures of him and the Dreamies displayed on that cabinet. It's really adorable." She said and you smiled at her. Mark Lee was very smart; he was often used as an example of a model student in the school. During their graduation, Mark left the stage with countless amounts of medals that hung on his neck. That was what made their group even more special, aside from their wealth, good physiques and charming looks, the Dreamies were blessed with knowledge above normal. Neither of them dropped from the top 30 in the rankings of the school.
"Their friendship is incredible indeed." You answered and she nods, a pretty smile ghosting over her lips. You felt a tug on your arm and you tilt your head up slightly to look at Jaemin, he was smiling at you and adoring your features.
"Would you like anything princess?" He asked and you nodded. He then left you to fetch a bottle of beer and some red wine for you. You were not a big fan of alcohol, the smell of it irked you, it made your head hurt and you could never handle it bitter and nasty smell. A few minutes later, Jaemin comes back with 2 bottles of Sapporo's space barley and Silver Oak Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon. Settling the bottles on the bar table, he then pulls out 2 beer glasses and 2 wine glasses. He passes a bottle of Sapporo to Donghyuck and pops the wine open, pouring you and Hyuck's girlfriend a glass each.
The 4 of you conversed with random topics, enjoying yourselves and keeping each other busy, trying to pass the time. It was your first time to attend such a high-class party with your own schoolmates, so you didn't really know how to keep yourself busy. Luckily for you, Jaemin, Donghyuck and his girlfriend was around to keep you company. A few more minutes pass by and you noticed a figure from afar.
Lee Jeno. He was wearing a striped polo and a pair of ripped jeans. Beside him, Seo Yun had her arms wrapped on Jeno's, she was wearing a red dress that complimented her snow-white skin. Han Seo Yun was bewitching. She had long black hair that reached around 5 inches below her shoulder, skin that was as white as snow, lips as red as cherries and a perfect facial structure. She could oppose Aphrodite's title as the Greek goddess of beauty, for Seo Yun's features were unlike any other. She was an amazing match for Jeno, she was someone that you could never stand against, for Seo Yun was nigh on perfect.
Jeno and Seo Yun were well known figures in the real estate industries. Their families hold huge titles from their company, and thus making them one of the most powerful couple in school. Aside from Seo Yun's family owning a small real estate company, her mother was one of the most influential lawyers in the country. Which made her a rival of Park Jisung's little crush.
"He makes your heart go crazy huh?" Donghyuck's girlfriend says softly, a soft smile on her delicate features. You laugh and nodded your head slightly, unable to find any excuse of why you were staring intently and Lee Jeno and the girl that clung onto his arm.
"Yeah, he does in a way that it causes an excruciating pain in my chest." You admitted and she reaches out to place her hand on yours, giving it a gentles squeeze. You knew about Donghyuck's girlfriend. She was the heiress of the largest medicinal company in the country. Lee Donghyuck's family following behind. Their relationship was inspiring and risky, yet you loved the thought of how they were willing to throw everything just for it to work out. You admired the strength that they possessed, you wished you had something similar. The courage to be able to tell Jeno how you truly looked at him, how you truly felt about him. Maybe, just maybe it could work out between the both of you.
"Have you ever considered telling him how you feel? I know both of you are best friends, so what scares you?" She asked, pulling out the question you dreaded the most; what scared you? Maybe the fact that you were already expecting his rejection. Or it could be that you knew deep inside that those feelings could never be reciprocated, for you would never be enough for someone like Lee Jeno. You belonged in cramped kitchens, scrubbing the grease off the dishes and old worn out clothes. Meanwhile, Jeno belonged in mansions, fancy business parties and tuxedos. You were from opposite worlds, and you could never be together, it was impossible.
"It's useless, he belongs with Seo Yun. They're a better match, and I could never be selfish to take him away." You answered, a bitter smile on your lips. She rubbed soothing circles on your hand and simply squeezed them softly, feeling pity for you.
Both of you took another glance at the couple who was now kissing and pulling each other closer by another bar table. Your heart clenched at the sight of them, however, you had no choice but to smile the pain away. For you and Jeno could never be together.
La Douleur Exquise.
It is the exquisite pain of wanting someone that you know you can never have. You knew very well Lee Jeno could never be yours, yet you still have this strong desire of wanting him in your arms. To have him in your embrace, and make him feel protected. To lace his lips with your kisses whenever he needed it. You didn't bother about that throbbing pain in your chest whenever you whispered "I love you" to him and he nods in return. You always ignored the shattering of your heart whenever he'd tell you, "Baby, don't hurt yourself by loving me. It's not worth it." For loving Lee Jeno was painful yet you loved that pain that came along with him.
You felt warm hands cover your eyes and slowly guide your face away from the scene. Na Jaemin, you knew it was him. Retracting his hands, he smiles at you and places a chaste kiss on your lips, letting it linger for a second before pulling away. Kissing Na Jaemin was soft, fluffy and welcoming. It was not rough and breathtaking like Jeno, it didn't leave you breathless and begging for more. It didn't feel like Lee Jeno's and that alone made you disappointed. For only Lee Jeno could have that effect in your life, only he could send you high and could bring thrill into your damned soul. Nothing else, and no one could ever change that.
"I'll be right back princess. Wait for me?" He said and stood up to leave, your eyes trailed to where he was heading towards, Lee Jeno. You suddenly felt hot, not intimately, but the kind of hot that made you anxious and scared of another possible argument between the two friends. You stood up but before you could leave, Donghyuck's hand grips on your wrist and pulls you back, "Look sweetheart, I suggest you stay. You don’t want to hear whatever they have to talk about." He says, slightly loosening his hold on you.
"I do, and I need to be there in case another argument erupts." You answered, pulling your hand back and quickly following after the two boys. They were walking off to a more isolated place where there was no one around and you quietly crept up behind them, making sure not to make even a single whimper.
"You ask to see her in this party, but why are you here shoving your tongue down Seo Yun's throat? How heartless can you be?" Jaemin's voice snapped, changing his tone into a more intimidating tone. Jeno stuffed his hands in his pocket and leaned back slightly, clearly too lazy to answer his friend.
"Honestly Jaemin, why do you care? She's just a third-tier student, while you're a part of the highest-tier, so why are you stooping down to such levels just because of Y/N?" The words that left Jeno's mouth stabbed you like a cold knife. Thrusting it in and out over and over again. He was right, you were a measly third-tier student, so why were you foolish enough to think that they could ever accept you as an equal?
You heard a low grunt escape Jeno's lips when his mouth came in contact with Jaemin's fist. "Well Jeno, because unlike you, I actually love Y/N. I don't treat her like some toy in order to boost my ego and to tell me that I am worthy. I don't use Y/N the way you do, for I actually treat her as a princess. Something you would never understand." You heard Jeno chuckle at the remarks and stare intently at Jaemin.
"Why bother liking some trash? She has nothing to offer you Jaemin, not even her innocence. She's just some form of pleasure that you could get rid of easily. So why bother picking up the trash that I scatter around?" Jeno answered smugly, his finger grazing the bruise that showed up from the punch.
"I don't care about whatever you took from her Jeno. I accept her for whatever she is and that will never change. So please, stop using her. She's had enough, if you can't appreciate whatever she has, then tell her and leave her alone. I'll be the one to pick up her broken pieces." Jaemin said, and that made Jeno throw his head back in annoyance.
"Never imagined that the nation's ideal boyfriend would fall in love with someone who scrubs grease off plates at my father's company. She's pathetic, and you associating yourself with her, makes you pathetic too." That was the last strand, your tears flowed from your cheeks in hot droplets. You never knew how Jeno looked down on you, for he made it seem like he treated you in a way that made you think that you were of sentimental value to him. But, in the end, you ended up fooling yourself and causing yourself pain. You brought this upon yourself.
Hearing your soft whimpers, the two boys whipped their heads at your direction, Jeno's eyes widening in horror. Jaemin rushes over to you and crouches down to meet your eyes. "Princess, I told you to wait for me." He said and wipes your teary cheeks with his thumb. You look over his shoulders to glance at Jeno, who's expression remained unchanged.
"At least now I know that I've been lied to and used for the past year." You spat and turned your heel, walking away from the place. Jaemin hurried beside you and spun you around, his hands wrapped around your waist and your face inches away. You could feel his hot breath fanning your cheeks and your cheeks heated up from the proximity.
"Princess, I love you. That's all you need to know." He said before sealing your lips together in a passionate kiss. Your head was spinning at the scenario yet for some unknown reason, you found serenity in it. It was as if your body felt lighter and the world spun in a slower motion.
From your peripheral view, you could see Lee Jeno in the distance. His hands still stuffed in his pockets, eyebrows knitted together and a wave of rage passed his eyes. He seemed angry, pissed at the whole situation that laid out before him. But why would he feel that way? You believed that he simply looked at you as some tool, a trash that he scatters around.
___
It's been a year since Mark Lee’s party, and it’s been a year since you last spoke to Lee Jeno. He was now the heir of their real estate company. He was officially engaged to Seo Yun a few months after the graduation. You remembered that day well, it was the day you finally knew you needed to let go of Jeno and move on. That very same day was also when Jaemin asked you to be his girlfriend.
From then on, everything started falling into place. Na Jaemin took over their company, granting him the title of CEO. You graduated as the 7th rank in the whole school and with your saved-up money from the past years, you were able to secure a spot where you built a mini café. It was a small and manageable business that your father really enjoyed.
With the support of Jaemin and his friends, the business was booming and you were able to upgrade the café, and purchase a small house for your father. It was an amazing year for you, and with Jaemin as your loving and supportive boyfriend, you couldn’t have it any other way.
Your phone buzzed as you were walking, on your way to visit Jaemin at his office in one of their main hotels. You fished the phone for your bag and checked to see the notification. It was a message from Jaemin.
“Hey princess, there was an urgent meeting that I needed to attend. If you arrive sooner, simply tell the secretary to escort you to my office, I’ll get back as soon as possible.” You smiled at the message and typed in a reply, then shoving the phone back in your bag and took a turn into the nearby mall's entrance. You decided to order some coffee for Jaemin and a caramel milkshake for you.
As you were walking to your booth after placing your order, you bumped into a hard chest. Saying you’re sorry, you look up to be met with the guy that broke your heart a year ago. He didn't look so well, the glow that he once possessed somehow vanished, he no longer looked like a young deity.
"Jeno." You whispered and smiled bitterly at him. He grabs your wrist and guides you to an empty booth, taking a seat opposite from you. "I didn't think I'd meet you here." His voice sounded that of a broken man's plea. He had dark circles and bag under his eyes, and his face screamed tired.
"I just stopped by to get some coffee." You said softly. You and Jeno left off on bad terms, but you've always taught yourself never to hold grudges, therefore you've longed forgiven Lee Jeno, even though he never apologized. That day that you said yes to Jaemin, was the day you also forgave your first love.
"How are things between you and Jaemin? Is he treating you well?" He asked carefully, you noticed his fingers fumbling with one another, probably uncomfortable or anxious at the whole situation. You smiled at the thought of all Jaemin has done for you. You couldn't have asked for anything more.
"The best I've been treated so far, he makes me feel special." You said openly and you noticed the glimpse of pain and disappointment that washed over his eyes. But why? Why did those emotions pass his face? He was the one that made it clear that he didn't need anyone like you. Jeno reached out for your hand and gave it a tight squeeze.
"Baby, I missed you." He whispered and those words struck your heart, causing another ache that you tried desperately to forget since the past year. Yes, you accepted Jaemin's affection and got together with him. You loved him, and you were sure of that. However, you would never deny, Jeno entered your mind every once in a while. And whenever that happened, you shut yourself away from Jaemin, not wanting him to see you breakdown once more for the boy that ripped your heart into shred, rendering it almost impossible to fix.
"No Jeno, you don't. You simply miss the feeling of me being there for you. You miss the feeling of having someone by your side and someone that would fight for you. You miss having someone whom you could leave wet kisses and marks on. You miss the pleasure that lingers in your body when our tongues dance in harmony, but you don't miss me. You made that awfully clear when you spat those piercing words at Jaemin, telling him I was worthless and just some girl you hook up with."
With that, you stood up and grabbed your order from the take-out counter, not sparing a second to look back at the man whose eyes glistened in tears that were threatening to fall. For in all honesty, Lee Jeno did love you, and it was no lie that he missed you as each day passed by.
He would give up everything for you to listen to him. For Lee Jeno loved you, yet his own pride and ego won him over that night, he was too full of himself that he couldn't bring himself to admit that he truly loved you. It pissed him off seeing you and his best friend act all touchy and he hated the fact that he was not the one beside you. Therefore, he used Seo Yun to make you jealous, to garner your attention, but instead it was Jaemin that confronted him. His anger got the best of him, in which resulted him to spit out lies about you, and his feelings that were bottled in his chest.
That look on your face when you overheard their conversation, shattered his heart. Lee Jeno could never handle it whenever he saw you crying, and he went ballistic knowing it was him that caused those precious tears of yours. He wanted to run to you, and cradle you in his arms, but his own best friend beat him to that. That look of yours when Jaemin ran up to you, it was that look that made him realize, at that moment, he had lost you for real.
He lost his best friend, the only one that understood him, and the only one who could be there for him in his times of need. And that happened, because he was too stupid, scared and because he could not control his ego. He lost his one true love due to his stupidity, and that thought haunted him, and still continues to do so up until this day.
His eyes followed your figure that walked out of the café with such confidence and power, it made his heart hurt. You never possessed such vibe whenever you were with him, you used to be so shy and innocent, but it seemed that Jaemin really did take good care of you. You blossomed into this powerful and inspiring woman that he looked up to. So, with teary eyes and an aching heart, Jeno stood up and sighed, his eyes still trailing after you as your figure finally disappeared from his view. Stuffing his hands in his slacks, he exits the restaurant, burying the pain he felt deep inside his chest, and cracked a bitter smile.
Lee Jeno walked away from the café, trying desperately to forget about the throbbing in his chest, the feeling of a thousand knives piercing through his organ as thoughts of you replayed in his mind like that of a broken recorded tape. Your smiles, your twinkling eyes, and plump lips. He knew it'd take him years to recover from this emotion that he tried dreadfully to bury.
La Douleur Exquise; the exquisite pain of wanting someone that he knew he could never have.
~The End~
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A Crush's Body
Loki Odinson x reader
Summary: You have to dress up in burlesque attire for a mission, and it has Loki angered and worried.
Word Count: 3352
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"This is outrageous." Loki said as he shook his head and paced back and forth. "Who was the person to come up with such a stupidity of a plan?"
"Mm, Tony I think."
Loki quietly scoffed. "Of course."
You got up from the couch to stop Loki's pacing. "Really Loki, it's not that big a deal."
"Not that big a deal? Of course it is! They can't be treating you like some object! Have they no respect for you?!"
Loki learned a lot about respecting you over time. You met when Thor brought Loki back to the prison cell in the Avengers compound. You heard about Loki through Thor, and chose not to listen to any other bad renditions of him unless it was only from Thor. You could sympathize with Loki"s issues, and chose to befriend him.
"What are you doing?" He asked when you sat down next to the glass for the first time.
"I want to talk to you. Is there something wrong with that?" You smiled.
"Really? You want to talk to the big scary monster?" He mocked. "Why?"
"Because maybe you're not as evil as some people, including you, think. I think we have some things in common actually." He tsked at you and turned away, causing you to giggle in response. "If you don't want to talk, then that's okay. Just want you to know that I'm gonna come by a lot and it'd be a lot less boring if we did talk."
You then sat there for about an hour in silence. The next day you came back and did the same thing: sitting down with a smile in silence for a while before you'd leave again. You did it almost every day for three weeks before he finally did talk. "Why in Valhalla are you here again? What do you want from me?!"
"Not much. Just a conversation. Someone to talk to." You ignored his demanding tone and gently smiled.
"Why? People don't just want to have a conversation with me, so what do you really desire?!" He stomped over to the glass and glared at you.
"I don't like it when people feel lonely. I know what that's like, and I'm guessing it's something you had to deal with for a long time too. I don't see what's so bad about just talking."
He looked you up and down, both skeptical and curious. "What do you mean by you being lonely?"
You then talked to him almost every day. You told him about how your parents were ashamed of you for being born with your powers, and how you were always in the shadows of your siblings because they were normal. You both told each other a lot of stuff, and seeing you soon became the best part of his day.
One day Thor went to check up on his brother to see how mad he still was. This is when he saw you two. You were talking very animatedly, telling a story of some kind, and Loki was standing with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. Thor then heard something he hadn't in a long time. He heard Loki burst into laughter.
"Am I interrupting something?" Thor asked as he came out of his corner.
You stopped what you were doing and looked at Thor. "Oh, no not at all. We were just talking. You two could talk now, I should actually have started on my paperwork sooner. I'll see you tomorrow Loki. Bye Thor."
Loki gave you a tight smile and a wave as you left. A frown replaced it once you were out of sight. "What is it now Thor?"
"I didn't know you were so well acquainted with Lady y/n." Thor smiled wide.
"Must you know everything about my life?" He bit back, though deep down he was happy that you didn't go blabbing your friendship with him to everyone. It made him feal like your friendship with him was real and not made by SHIELD to lower his guard.
"You seem smitten brother. She's a fair lady, with a good heart and a strong spirit."
"You don't need to be telling me things I already know brother!" He snapped, instantly regretting how that came out.
Thor paused, but his smile remained the same. "Maybe it's about time you left this cell. With supervision, of course. It is possible to pull some strings and have y/n be the one to supervise you." Of course Thor rooted for his brother, not that you knew.
By next week, you were in front of a crowd to watch Loki be release. Once he stepped out, he looked at you nervously, wondering if you'd be afraid of him now that nothing physically separated you two.
You smiled brightly and ran up to him instead, giving him a warm hug. You didn't care who or how many were watching. After a moment of hesitation, he reciprocated.
Pretty soon he didn't have to be supervised by you, and became an Avenger. Mainly for you. He had what midgaurdians would call a crush on you, as did you, but neither of you fessed up. This brings you to today, where you have to dress as a burlesque dancer and perform for a mission, which Loki hated.
"Loki, please. It's for the mission." His anger was starting to get you upset. "You know I have to do this. This is how I can help. Besides, I can really only be a either a freak or eye candy. There's no in between for me."
You averted his gaze, and he held up your chin to look you in the eye. "I only see you as a hero."
You put your hands on his shoulders and gently smiled. "You always know what to say to me." He returned the smile. "But I'm still doing it."
"You don't even want to actually do it!"
"Sometimes a hero needs to do something they don't like, for the greater good. Now I'm doing it no matter what and it'd mean a lot if I had some support from you."
He huffed. "Very well then. I just don't want someone to try and take advantage of you."
"You know I can handle myself. Me and Wanda have similar powers." He sighed and pulled you in for a hug, before letting you go and walking you outside to where the cars were waiting for you.
"I'm coming as well." Loki stated as he went into the car with you and Tony.
"And why is that?" Tony asked.
"Because you mortals don't know how to defend yourselves properly."
Tony huffed. "Just use your magic and don't be yourself."
As the three cars pulled up to the burlesque lounge around the back, you got out to hug the owner. "Hey Tess. Thanks again for letting me do this."
"Of course sweetheart. Anything for the neighbor who let me borrow some rent money. C'mon, let's get you dressed and ready."
Loki used magic to make himself unrecognizable, and sat at the same table as Tony, who was playing off as old him who just wanted to get drunk and pick up women. Wanda and Natasha were both waitresses, while everyone else hid and waited for their cue.
(This is what I picture as the outfit:)
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After Tess did your makeup and had you in a costume, you waited to get on stage. In truth, you were nervous. Not because a rich man selling alien tech was about to watch you, and probably call you over. Not because you had to lead that dangerous man on in order to imprison him under wraps. You were nervous for Loki to see you like this.
It was time, and two other girls ushered you on stage with them. You went over this multiple times with them, and had the song and dance memorized by heart. The curtains rose and your performance began. You had no time to be nervous, because right now you had to become a performer.
Loki and Tony waited for you to come out on stage, having eyes on the man. "You excited to see your girlfriend come out on stage?"
"Tony." Steve said over the earpiece.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Loki scowled.
"Well, y'know, how you hover over her whenever she's doing something by herself and all. You'd figure that the two of you would be more than just friends."
"Tony leave it alone." Steve warned.
Loki glared away from him. "I came here because I was worried she was in incapable hands. You were the one who forced this idea upon her, were you not?"
"Look pal, at the end of the day, it was her choice. Nobody was going to force her to do anything. You just want an excuse to be around her; you want to swoop in and save the day. She lets you stick to her because kindness is her weakness, and you know it."
He snapped his head towards Tony. "Has it ever occurred to you that I'm around her because she makes me want to show kindness? Is it really wrong that I want to protect one of the very few people to actually care for me in my life?"
Wanda passed by the table to give them new drinks. "Really Tony, maybe it's not a bad thing that they're so close. Let them be friends."
Tony didn't have time to respond before the curtains went up and your show was starting. And what a show it was. None of them have seen you showing that much skin, and you were known for getting into your undercover character, so you were just really giving it your all.
Loki was astonished. He couldn't take his eyes off you. You were so beautiful. You had shared your insecurities with him about your body and yourself, but all he saw was perfection. You were perfection.
Soon your performance was over and you went to the bar to sit down. That was when he got up and sat down right next to you. They told you that the man had a type for girls who looked like you, and ones with innocent personalities.
Loki saw that you gave him a cute smile and giggled when he said something. All too soon you began to follow him up to the VIP lounge. He watched you happily walk up the stairs in front of him where he checked out your ass, and into a room where the doors closed. A few minutes later, everybody was signaled.
"Alright sweetheart, sit down on a couch." When you entered, the big room was aligned with body guards, guns in hand.
"Mkay." You gave him another smile. "What are we gonna do?"
He chuckled. "What do you want to do?"
"Mm, I don't know, but can you have your men lower their guns please? It's making me a little nervous."
One of his men whispered something to him, causing him to nod and face you. "How are you not getting scared mindless from all these men with guns sweetheart? That's awfully suspicious."
"I've seen my fair share violence. I might be a little used to it but that doesn't mean I like it." You gave him a pout. "Please put the guns away."
"Sweetheart, I like you, I really do, but no. My men don't back down for anyone. Now I'm not saying their suspicious of you, it's just in case for anyone else."
You heard from your earpiece that they took down everybody in the back. You sighed and got up. "Well that's a shame. I really thought I was getting into character."
You put up all their guns in the air, and flung it to the back wall. "You bitch! What the hell are you?"
"Do you have a problem with people that have powers? Is it because you feel powerless around them? Do you feel smaller than me right now?" You grinned.
"Shut up!"
"It's okay. As someone you have to look up to, it's only fair if I give you advice to cope with the fact that you're not special at all." He lunged at you, and you used your powers to slam him to the ceiling and drop him back to the floor, causing him to knock out. Everybody stared at you in shocked silence. "What? You can't tell me he wasn't being a creeper."
Everybody else then busted the door open to fight with all the men lined up. Loki appeared next to and gave you a warm smile, handing you his two blades. "Care to show me if you were actually listening to my teachings?"
You nodded and fought the guy charging at you. In a few moments you were standing over his unconscious body, and turned to Loki. "Did I do it right?"
"You excelled little one." His smile became a little wider.
"C'mon Loki I'm not even that short!" He laughed and put your cap over your eyes. You fixed it and gave him a pout. "You owe me Taco Bell now. I hope you're happy."
As the two of you walked to Taco Bell later on in the night, Loki conjured his fur cape and put it over your shoulders to keep you warm. "Why didn't you just get me a jacket?" You chuckled.
"Because... This will keep you warmer than some cheap jacket you own." He regretted saying it as soon as it came out. He hoped you didn't notice how heated his face felt.
You only laughed and shook your head. "Ouch!" You playfully pushed his shoulder gently. "We need to work on our wording."
"What I meant was that I want you to stay as warm as possible. I'm a naturally cold person so I don't know how to make you feel better." Loki blurted out. You smiled as he held open the door for you. Luckily there was nobody else inside since it was the middle of the night, and he wouldn't have to endure stares.
"Thank you Loki. Always considerate." You got to the cashier. "Hi! Can I have a number 10 with iced tea please?" He smiled at you and nodded, inputting your order. "What are you gonna get Trickster?"
"Just 2 hard shelled tacos please." He caught you snickering. "Why do you always laugh when I say that word?"
"What? You have a British accent, how can I not laugh when you say tacos? It's just so funny." You giggled as he huffed.
Just then three girls came inside, and laid their eyes on Loki. One of the girls whispered something before making her way to him as the other two watched and chuckled. "Hey! You're Loki right? Thor's brother?"
You and him glanced at each other. He hated it when people addressed him just as Thor's brother. He's his own person. "That is correct, yes. Is there a problem?"
"Of course not! Y'know I was so happy when it came out that you weren't evil. You were just being controlled, which I could tell deep in my heart. With a face like yours, I knew you weren't bad!"
She wrapped her arms around him, clearly invading more than one boundaries. Loki tried to gently push her off. "It would be of great service if you would please back up a bit."
She gave him a pout, "Why? Don't you wanna talk some more?"
"I'd rather not." He pushed her gently, and she stumbled a bit on her foot before putting her hands on Loki's shoulders.
"Y'know, I'll just be straight forward. It's on my bucket list to hook up with an Avenger, and right now I feel like the both of us can have a fun night."
"In Odin's name, no! I don't indulge myself with pure and utter harlotry. And besides, I'm with a friend right now."
She then looked at you, scowling. "Her? Really? Some girl having you buy fast food in the middle of the night for her? It's not like she needs any more food."
She looked you up and down. You frowned, wrapping your arms around your stomach. The cashier was ticked off from watching this. "Then what are you doing here?" He mumbled.
Loki pushed her arms away from him forcefully. "Don't talk about her like that! Leave, now." There was so much command in his voice, and it scared all three girls out of the Taco Bell.
The cashier looked at you hugging yourself. "Don't worry about people like her." He told you. I've seen thirsty people like that a lot more in this Taco Bell than you might think actually." He offered you a smile, and you gave him a half-hearted laugh.
"Thanks. It was nice meeting you." You said quietly, weakly smiling as you and Loki left.
You both walked in silence on the way to your apartment. Soon you took off the cape and handed it to Loki. "Y/n, are you–"
"I'm not cold." You said blankly. He didn't press, simply nodding as he made the cape disappear. You then made it to the steps of the apartment complex. "Good night."
You began to walk upstairs, but Loki grabbed your wrist. "What about your food?" He held up the bag.
You shrugged. "Not hungry anymore."
Loki stepped closer. "Let me in the apartment. We need to talk and I prefer we do it in private." You didn't want to get him upset so you weakly nodded, walking up the stairs together and into your small apartment. Loki shut the door. "Why are you upset?"
"I'm not–"
"You're not a liar, so don't become one. Now why are you upset?"
"Because what happens when you realize that girl's right? I mean, you saw my body today! I can't even try to hide it anymore since you've seen basically everything. I just feel like sooner or later you'll realize that I'm nothing special and eventually get bored or sick of me and–"
"Stop talking." He said as he grabbed your arms.
"Okay." You squeaked.
He then brought you in for a hug. "Love, how many times must I tell you to stop thinking so poorly of yourself? You know I don't see you that way, and never will. That woman was just... What the nice cashier man said... She was, um, thirsty."
You giggled, wrapping your arms around him. "Do you even know what that means?" You asked.
"A person who does bawdy actions to get someone to bed them?" He asked as he looked down curiously at you.
You smiled. "Yeah actually."
He drew his eyes to your lips, his thumb stroking your bottom lip. "I think you're the most gorgeous woman in all the nine realms. Everything about you draws me in. Not just your amazing looks, but your light aura, your laugh, your kindness and how genuine you are with me. How can anybody not love you?"
You looked up at him, shocked, and didn't say anything. You gently grabbed his wrist to move his hand away and stood on your toes to give him a short, soft kiss. You two looked at each other in silence before he grabbed your face and pulled you into a passionate kiss. Your lips fit so well with his, so right. This felt right.
He titled his head to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip as a request. You opened your mouth a little wider to let him slip his tongue into your mouth. He eventually left wet kisses on your jaw and trailed it down to your neck, nipping slightly. When you felt his hands feel under your shirt, you grabbed his arms to stop him. He pulled back immediately.
"Please forgive me! I don't know what came over me. I violated your trust and–"
"Loki, stop talking." You copied after him. You gave him a peck on the lips. "You're fine. I have really strong feelings for you, and you have no idea how happy I am right now. But I want to savour this. I want to take it slow."
"You do?" He looked at you sceptically. You excitedly nodded and grinned. He brought you in for a big hug. "I've never been wanted this way before. The feeling is intoxicating."
"That's just you feeling really happy. And you know you're always wanted with me." You gave him a bunch of pecks on the face, feeling the rumble of his chuckling. "C'mon, let's eat our food."
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bmongmong · 3 years
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Chapter 7 - Party
Blue pill or red pill - Jungkook
Description: You're a young girl, who's a little bit introverted and afraid to be under everybody's eyes. You only have your best friend, but it's ok for you. You don't want to be popular and believe in minimal things. One day you meet a guy. Or two?
Jungkook x Reader
The imagines I used are not mine Credit to the owners
Rosé's pov
I see y/n on the ground, crying really hard. Then I look at the room. There were pens and pencil on the floor, pieces of paper everywhere, a broken mirror on the ground. Then I notice something in y/n's hands.
In the right one she's holding her teddy bear, which is ripped everywhere. On the other hand she's holding a cutter. I assume she used that on the teddy bear.
I close the door behind me and slowly walk towards her. I take from her hand the cutter and put it on her desk. Then I start to clean her room while she's still on her knees. As I put things on their spots, we stay silent.
Once I'm done with cleaning, I take her hand and pull her up and make her sit on the bed. I can feel the bad energy coming out of her pores. What could have ever happened?
She suddenly hands me her phone and the first thing I see is the chat with Jungkook. They seem happy, I don't understand why she's acting like this. But now I remember that she was with Jungwook.
"What did he do? Did he see this conversation between you and Jungkook?" I ask her, predicting what happened. She just nods and look at the ground.
"Y/n it's ok if he knows. After all the 'relationship' between you and Jugnkook won't be secret for forever, right?" I say as I caress her back. "Did Jungwook do something else?" as I ask this question I can feel her breath being uneasy and I see her start crying harder.
"He kissed me" she says sobbing. I'm shocked. I mean, it's just a kiss, it's not the end of the world. But at the same time I know that it's difficult for her, since she's always been inside her little bubble for the majority of her life and perhaps, that was her first kiss.
"I'm not mad because of the kiss" she says, proving that my assumption was wrong "It's because I hurt Jungkook. If he'll find out about this, he'll be disappointed in me."
"Y/n it's not your fault! It's Jungwook's." I try to reassure her, but it doesn't seem to work.
I stayed with her until she fell asleep. It was early, but she seemed tired.
A week is passed since then, and y/n seems to feel a little better. During classes we tried to act as natural as possible. We didn't tell anything to Jungkook, but his brother kept sending hints and saying teasing things, only to make me and y/n look even more nervous.
Y/n pov
It's Friday morning and it's Jimin's birthday. I slowly wake up and feel the anxiety hitting my stomach, like every other morning.
"I promise" I say to my ceiling "if something else bad happens, I promise I'll go back to white. My life will become white again. I really promise"
By now, I got used to this feeling of oppression, since it has been more than a week. As I stand up, I hear my phone vibrating. It's Jungkook. Every time he texts me, it's like a stab in the chest.
Jungkook:
Good morning y/n! Would you like to take the bus with me today? 😊
It's the first time I take the bus, I usually walk with Rosé. I feel nervous, but for some reason I smile. I quickly send a message to Rosé, saying that I'll go to school with Jungkook. And, of course, I said yes to the sweet guy.
He told me that he'll wait for me on the bus and he also told me the bus line.
Now I'm at the bus stop waiting for it to arrive. I see it coming from afar and I quickly take out my hand to gesture the driver to stop. As it stops and opens the door, I slowly walk inside. There aren't many people and I suddenly see a hand waving from one seat. As I look better I notice it's Jungkook.
I go to him and sit next to him. I don't look at him in the eyes as we start talking, but I notice something different in him.
He's now looking somewhere else and I take this opportunity to look at him.
He's very handsome today. Not that the other days he's not. But today he's particularly handsome. It looks like he did his hair and put on some cute clothes. The combination of his cute side and his handsome face, gives him a strong aura. Maybe it's just me, but he's really attractive.
He suddenly looks at me asking:
"Is anything wrong ?" he also shows me his warm and calming smile.
I swear, he'll make me melt someday. I just shake my head at his question.
"Tonight there's Jimin's birthday party! Since tomorrow we don't have any classes, we can stay awake till early morning" he says excited "He also said that his parents will go out for a couple of days, so we have his villa all by ourself!"
"It's going to be funny!" I smile at him. I'm actually nervous, I'm afraid something bad will happen tonight.
The morning went pretty fast. I kept staring at Jungkook and tried to ignore Jungwook's teasing, nothing new. And now I'm walking home with Rosé.
"Y/n, this early afternoon I'll go to Jimin's house to help him with decorations and stuff. He said that you and the twins can come at 6 PM. Here" she says handing me a piece of paper "This is his address"
I think there'll be no problem for me to get to his house, since now I kinda now where he lives.
"Oh right!" she shouts, making me flinch a little "make sure to wear something elegant!" she says winking at me.
Now I'm at home and it's 4.30 PM. I quickly prepare a bag with comfortable clothes and shoes, because we'll all sleep at Jimin's house. Now I'm putting on make up. I want to keep it very natural, but at the same time chick. Once I'm done with that I start to look for a nice outfit.
I think this'll do!
It's now 5.30 PM and I think it's time for me to go to Jimin's house. As I take my purse, I open the door and head downstairs. While I walk, I can hear my parents talking to someone. Who could it be? I guess it's none of my business. Finally I reach the leaving and I see the person to whom my parents are talking to.
What. The. Hell.
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Jeon Jungkook.
He looks so good. The suit that he's wearing, looks perfect on him. I'm speechless.
"Oh my god y/n!!! This is the guy you studied with that day, right?" my mum asks me with the biggest smile ever. I've never seen her this happy and it's kinda scary. "He's so handsome!!"
"Hi y/n" Jungkook says with a warm smile "you look beautiful" as he says those words I can hear my mum screaming due to the excitement and my dad crying at the back. Seriously what's wrong with them.
I see Jungkook looking at me from head to toe. He's blushing so hard.
"H-Hi Jungkook" I say nervous "what are you doing here?"
"I came to pick you up. I know Rosé is already at Jimin's place and that you'd be alone. I didn't want you to walk completely by yourself in the dark, so I came to keep you company" his voice is so soothing and makes my anxiety go away. I actually forget about everything bad every time he talks.
"Let's go" he says holding out his hand. After smiling, I reach out for his hand and hold it tight.
"My princess!!" I hear my dad crying again "she grew up so fast" he's really embarrassing. I really want to bury myself.
I drag Jungkook out of my house and apologize for the embarrassing things that my parents said in front of him.
Now we're walking, still holding hands. I feel so nervous because it's only me and him, but at the same time I feel butterflies in my stomach. The excitement is pervading my whole body and I can feel my legs shaking from the adrenaline.
"I know I already said that" Jungkook says after ten minutes of pure silence "But you really look gorgeous" I feel him tightening the grip on my hand.
"You also look handsome..." I say really embarrassed.
"That's not true" he says laughing. I stop walking and look at him straight in the eyes.
"No, really! You look so good right now" I don't know where I'm going by saying this. It's not that I just want to compliment him because he also did. I really feel this way. But now I look pathetic, I'm really telling my crush that he looks handsome.
"Ok ok I believe you" he says laughing and suddenly pull me into a warm hug. I can feel one of his hands on the upper back and the other one on the back of my head. "Seriously y/n...you're driving me crazy" he whispers. WHAT DID HE SAY?? WHAT DO I DO? DRIVE HIM CRAZY? Is this a dream? Please, can someone give me a slap in the face? If this is a joke it's not funny! I'm really freaking out.
I don't know what to answer. I prepare myself mentally to ask him about his feelings, but he speaks before me:
"Let's go or else we'll be late" and with that he started walking. As we keep going, we just stay silent. It's not awkward. I feel like if don't say a word, I won't embarrass myself any further.
Now we're here. We ring on the gate bell and wait for an answer. Finally we hear Jimin's voice ordering us to enter and keep walking until we get to the main door of the house.
"Wow it's huge!" I say to Jungkook as I look at the garden.
Now we're at the front door and I knock on it. After a few seconds, the door opens and we are welcomed by Rosé. She looks gorgeous.
"Hi guys! Come inside" she says to us. As we get ourself in, I can't stop thinking at how big this house is. It's even bigger than the twin's house.
When we get to the living room I see Jimin, setting on the speakers and the microphone for karaoke.
"Wow Jimin! Did you dye your hair pink?" Jungkook asks smiling. He actually looks good with pink hair.
"Yes! Rosé helped me earlier. It's one of those hair dye that goes away after a few washes. I guess that in a couple of days I'll be black to blonde. I just wanted something different for my birthday" the pink haired guy says.
"You look handsome!" both me and Jungkook says.
"You also look gorgeous y/n" everybody turns around facing the guy who just complimented me. It's Jungwook.
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Wow. He's honestly handsome. I just nod at his statement and slowly look at Rosé. I'm a bit scared right now, but she reassures me by taking my hand and smiling at me.
"Shall we start drinking?" Jimin asked excited.
"YESSSSSSS" everyone of us shouted in response.
Now I'm with Rosé and she's preparing a drink for me. It's not the first time I drink, but I'm a little bit worried, because she told me that during Jimin's parties, everybody gets wasted and throws up everywhere.
"Don't worry y/n" my best friend says handing me the drink "I'm good at making these things. I bet it tastes good!" she smiles brightly, before taking a sip from her drink.
I do the same as her with mine, after she handed it to me, and it actually doesn't taste bad. I give her a thumb up and we go to the boys who are now dancing like crazy. They seem to have fun and the only one who's not enjoying the party, it's me. I'm still thinking about the kiss between me and Jungwook and the fact that I'm scared that he's going to ruin everything between me and his brother.
People say 'drink to forget' right? That's what I want to do. I clench my fist and drink all of my drink in one breath.
"One shot!!!! Well done y/n!" I hear Rosé screaming. Right after that, everybody lifts up their drinks and scream at the same time:
"ONE SHOT!!" and they drink it all. We're all laughing.
"Y/n do you want another one? I can make it for you" Jungkook says smiling at me. I nod and smile back and then we head towards the kitchen. As he starts making the drink, I decide to talk a little:
"You seem good at this!"
"I'm neither the best or the worst. I just put a little bit of alcohol and a little bit of soda. Usually I put less alcohol, but tonight it's a special night" he says winking at me. I blush and quickly look away.
After a couple of seconds he gives me the drink and makes another one for himself.
"Jungkook!" I hear Rosé calling his name "Make some more also for me, Jimin and your brother, please!"
"Of course" he responds laughing a bit. He's really kind and this gives him another point.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my lower back and I quickly turn around, to see Jungwook. I step away a little and I hear him saying:
"Hi two love birds. Is the party good enough?" he says smirking at me. I wanted to answer but I get caught off by Jungkook:
"It's perfect" he says handing his brother the drink he was preparing for himself. "You can go now and have fun" he says with a fake smile. I guess Jungkook gave him his drink, in order to not bother us anymore.
Jungwook just gives him a fake smile as his, and leaves.
Then Jungkook kept preparing the drinks and after that we got to the others.
"Thankssss" Rosé says. She seems so happy today. I wonder what will happen to her and Jimin. She told me that she wanted to surprise him.
It's now 1 AM. Jimin opened the present we got for him and we ate the cake that Rosé prepared. Now we're all wasted. We're all dancing with a drink in our hand.
My head is spinning like crazy and I feel my body very light. Is not that I don't know what I'm doing. It's just that I don't care.
As I keep dancing, my attention drafts to Jungwook. He's all sweaty and hot, as he dances as well. He notices that I'm staring at him. I see him taking off his necktie and unbuttoning a bit his shirt. He then looks at me smirking.
He's so hot right now. I don't know why, but I'm so attracted to him. He slowly approaches me and puts his hands on my hips. I honestly don't care, we're just dancing after all. He then turns me around and pulls me closer to his chest, by putting his hands on my lower stomach.
As we keep dancing I can feel his pelvis on my ass. As we move to the rhythm, I feel him grinding on my behind. It's the first time someone dances like this with me and it actually feels good. It makes me excited. Then I feel something wet on my neck and I find out pretty soon that it's his mouth. I put my hand on his hair and pulling a little.
But then, someone separates us.
"Leave her alone" I look up and it's Jungkook "She's drunk. Tonight she's with me, not you"
"Oh little brother, I didn't know you were looking. To your information, it wasn't me who initiated the act. She was glaring at me and we started dancing naturally" Jungwook answers to his brother.
Jungkook slowly gets closer to his brother and I see Jimin immediately running and standing in between them:
"Please guys. At least not on my birthday" the pink haired guy says. The other two just nod and look at each other. The bad guy has an evil grin on his mouth, while the other one seems rather pissed.
After about twenty minutes I hear Jimin saying:
"Guys, let's change into comfortable clothes"
Me and Rosé went to the bathroom, while the guys changed together in the living room. After changing we get to the others. Jungkook quickly approaches me and says:
"Y/n, I need to talk to you"
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