#how long have you been running and how much of you is left

[sturnsbae]

SPIN YOU AROUND - JACK HUGHES

summary: you and jack have been best friends since childhood. you’ve both always had suppressed feelings for one another, but when you suddenly become a country music fan, he finds his chance to actually confess.

warnings: use of y/n & underage drinking, not proofread sorry if there’s typos or mistakes :)

wordcount: 3.4k

—

for as long as you can remember, you’ve been best friends with the hughes brothers.

your moms were best friends in high school, and they always talked about their kids being friends growing up. your mom only ended up having one child, but it worked out perfectly seeing that she had a girl and ellen had three boys. despite her best friend playing it, your mom never cared much for hockey. but ellen made sure to have her sons teach you how to skate and how to understand the game. this led to your winter breaks always being spent playing pond hockey in a 2v2 game against the boys, which you wouldn’t have changed for the world.

you and jack are the same age, and this always made you two closer. maybe it was because you two somehow always ended up with the same elementary school teachers, or the fact that you two have the exact same humor, or maybe the fact that you guys have always had mutual friends. It doesn’t matter; he was your best friend, and you were his. although, you both took very different routes when you turned 18. he went straight to the nhl while you began college at penn state. you’re nineteen now, and so is jack. it’s finally the summer after your first semester, and you haven’t seen the boys since winter break.

as you and your parents enter the front door of your guys’ shared lake house, you smile at the familiar smell of ellen’s homemade cookies. “god it smells good in here!” you exclaim, making your presence known. “hey! you guys made it!” quinn smiles as he walks over from the dining room table towards you guys. being the gentleman that he is, he embraces your mother in a hug before anyone. luke quickly jumps off of the couch and runs over, picking you up slightly as he embraces you in a warm hug. your laughter fills the room as luke puts you down back on your feet.

“i swear, you get taller every time i see you,” you chuckle, making luke roll his eyes with a smile.

“maybe you’re just shrinking, y/n,” he shrugs before walking over to hug your parents. quinn walks over to you with a smile and gently hugs you, unlike his youngest brother. you say your hellos to jim and ellen as your dad and quinn bring in the suitcases. you furrow your brows and turn to luke, “where’s jack?” you ask.

“i think he’s in the shower, he should be out soon though,” luke shrugs before looking back down at his phone with a smile. of course, he’s probably texting a girl from school. you chuckle to yourself before walking to your room to settle in. as you walk past the shared bathroom between you, jack, and luke, you hear the shower running and muffled country music playing through the door.

you begin unpacking your suitcase, your door left open just slightly enough so that you can see the hallway. as you’re unfolding clothes, the sound of the bathroom door opening catches your attention. you look up and see jack walking out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. clearly, he has no idea that you’re home yet.

you can’t help but stare for a second… when did his back muscles get so toned?

you immediately shake your thoughts and continue unfolding your clothes. about three or so minutes later, there’s a gentle knock on the door. you look up and see jack in the door frame with his usual smirk-like smile.

“thought you could come home and not say hi to me?” he questions, making you roll your eyes and jump off the bed to wrap the boy in a hug. his arms wrap your smaller frame in a tight hug, his body still damp from the shower and the smell of his body wash emitting off of him.

“how’ve you been, dork?” he asks, walking in your room and sprawling out on your bed. you sit down criss cross by his feet, organizing your bikini tops to their matching bottoms.

“i’ve been good! how’s the nhl life?” you tease.

“eh, i’ve been playing alright. i’m kinda offended you haven’t been to a game since my debut, though,” he jokes, raising one eyebrow.

you groan in response, “i know, im sorry. schools been so insane. i have so much to do for my sorority, i have like a million sporting events to go to, and i have so many tests too… i just haven’t found the time. next season ill be at more games, i promise” you smile.

“hey, it’s okay, i’m just messing with you, y/n/n. i know you’re a busy girl, being all studious or whatever,” he chuckles before looking down at his phone. you two then sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as you finish unpacking.

—

you’ve done a lot of catching up with ellen and jim, all 8 of you sitting in the living room discussing the causal things. your mom and ellen spill their adult-life gossip, as if they don’t talk every day and meet for lunch once a week, while your dads talk about god knows what. you and quinn chirp luke about whoever he’s been texting, while jack is more focused on whatever video game he’s playing on his phone.

“jack, do you think you could go get us some pizza for dinner?” ellen asks, the room going quiet and the attention now falling onto jack.

“ugh, why can’t quinn go!” jack questions. ellen laughs, “you’re the one who insisted on bringing your jeep! you brought your car, which you never let anyone else drive, so now you have the duties of getting us dinner.”

“fine,” he groans before turning to look at you, a hopeful look in his eyes. you sigh loudly and stand up dramatically, “fine, i’ll come with you.” he grins cheesily as he grabs his keys and twirls them in his fingers on the way out to his car.

“can i have aux, pleaseeee,” you beg, making your hands look like you’re praying and giving him puppy dog eyes. he rolls his eyes and hands you his phone, “no stupid shit or ill take it back.”

jack is a country guy through and through, which you’ve never really gotten into, so you two tend to fight a lot about music. of course there are some songs and genres that you two both like, but when you put on some morgan wallen, jack looks at you like you just told him you killed someone.

“what the fuck? you- you’re- you’re willingly playing country music?!” he exclaims as he turns to look at you with a shocked expression. you have a shit eating grin on your face, “yeah, my roommate actually got me into it. i don’t know how, but she did.”

jack feigns a look of sadness, “oh, so some random girl you meet at college can get you into country, but the kid who’s been trying to get you to listen to it for like 12 years can’t?!”

you throw your head back laughing, “hey! in my defense, i was never stuck in a small room for an entire semester of college with you. of course i got her into some taylor swift though, don’t you worry. it’s only fair,” you shrug. he rolls his eyes at you jokingly before mumbling something about how you’re a fake friend, causing you to hit his arm playfully.

—

after dinner passes and the parents settle in for a movie night, you and the boys head outside for the annual first-night fire pit and beers, which started when you and jack were about 17. you and jack grab the s’mores ingredients while luke and quinn set up the fire pit. you take your seat around the fire, with luke and quinn sat across from you and jack on your right. quinn then hands everyone, even luke, a beer, making you chuckle.

“aww, lukeys first beer at the fire pit with us,” you fawn, making everyone laugh. “okay okay shut up,” the younger boy groans, his cheeks turning faintly florid with embarrassment.

“so, mrs party girl, tell us how college has been,” quinn says, roasting his marshmallow to perfection. you blush faintly at the sudden attention, humming a little as you think of what to start with. “well, my sorority is great. i love my roommate too, she’s like my best friend now. no offense jack, you’re still important i swear,” you chuckle, turning to look at jack. he flips you off before letting you continue to talk about your first semester.

“oh and, this shook jack to his core, but my roommate got me into country music. i don’t know how, im seriously convinced she put a spell on me or something, but she succeeded.”

luke’s eyes widen, “you like country now?! you used to swear up and down that you hated it!” he exclaims.

“i know! i know, but somehow she got me into it. or well, at least morgan wallen, that’s it. some country artists music i still can’t stand, i promise,” you laugh.

“i feel like this deserves a toast or something, because now we can finally listen to country on the boat without any complaints from her,” jack teases. everyone holds up their beer and takes a sip, before continuing on with the conversation. about an hour passes and the sun is completely down as you all still laugh loudly, faces illuminated by the orange glow of the fire.

you yawn, snuggling further into your sweatshirt. which is actually one of jacks old sweatshirts from high school. the logo is somewhat faded and cracked now due to how often you wear it, but he doesn’t need to know that. “you tired?” jack asks you, leaning over his chair slightly to talk to you.

you nod slowly, a telltale sign that you’re about to fall asleep. he sets down his beer and stands up, reaching out his hands for you to grab. you sigh and take his hands in yours as he helps you up. “i’m gonna take this one to bed. i can tell she’s had too many beers,” he chuckles.

“i have not!” you protest, your worlds slurred ever so slightly. jack just chuckles and walks you inside as quinn and luke are left to clean up the mess.

“they’re bound to get together one day, right?” luke asks his eldest brother.

“man, i hope so. im tired of this whole, ‘she’s just my best friend’ act. dude is whipped,” quinn shrugs. meanwhile, jack is sitting on the bathroom counter while you take off your makeup.

“you what?!” he exclaims.

“i kissed a random frat guy at a mixer with my sorority. it’s not that big of a deal jack!” you laugh, and jack just shakes his head. honestly, he would be lying if this didn’t make him feel oddly jealous. he’s so used to always knowing the guys that are involved in your love life. like for example, he was there during the alcohol induced game of truth or dare where you were dared to kiss trevor. you guys were 16 and drunk, so of course it never bothered jack. but now, he feels a weird pang of jealousy knowing that you’ve kissed another guy and he’s never even met him.

despite the fact that you’ve never talked to the frat guy since the kiss happened, jack still finds himself laying in bed scrolling through his instagram. “jesus christ, why don’t my abs look like that?” he mumbles to himself, quickly realizing how dumb he must seem right now. he puts his phone down and sighs.

this is gonna be a long summer.

—

the next morning is filled with laughter as the parents cook up breakfast, while you and the boys sit at the table with a deck of cards, playing your favorite game, BS.

“bs!” you call out as quinn puts down his alleged ‘two-fours,’ which you know is false because you literally have three fours in your stack. he groans in defeat as he takes the pile of cards, “you’re too good at this game. it’s no fun playing with you,” he whines, making everyone laugh.

“maybe you’re just a shit liar,” you shrug. as if on queue, the food is placed down in front of you guys as the parents take their seats. you all make your plates, of course the boys grab the most out of everyone. you chuckle looking at the two pancakes and two pieces of bacon on your plate, compared to jacks which has four pancakes and five pieces of bacon, along with a heavy stack of scrambled eggs.

“greedy much?” you chuckle, nudging jack slightly. he flips you off as he stuffs his face with food. a muffled, “i’m a growing boy, i can’t help it!” falls from his lips, making everyone chuckle.

after breakfast is finished, your guys’ parents go out for the day, leaving you all to fend for yourselves for entertainment. quinn suggests going out on the boat for the day, which you all agree with. you head upstairs to your room, slipping on your favorite bikini and grabbing a sweatshirt and sunglasses. you grab a book just incase, but you know that you’re definitely not gonna end up reading it.

“hurry up, y/n!” luke yells, making you groan in annoyance as you close the bedroom door.

“shut up luke, im coming i’m coming,” you say as you walk down the steps. you and luke walk side by side to the dock, where jack and quinn are getting the boat prepared. jack, per usual, demands that he get aux, and you all know better than to argue with him about it.

he queues up his country playlist, as expected. you chuckle a little as you hum a long to a few songs while quinn slowly exits the no-wake zone. about three minutes or so later, quinn speeds up the boat and your hair is flying. laughter escapes your lips as you look over at jack, who’s sitting next to you. “god i’ve missed this!” you say, making him smile and wrap an arm around you slightly.

he rests his head on top of yours, “i’ve missed you,” he says. this type of behavior is normal for you two, so quinn and luke don’t even bat an eyelash.

you guys come to a slow stop before luke throws the large tube out onto the water. him and jack get on it and grab the handles, laying down on their stomachs waiting for quinn to speed up. “everyone ready?” quinn asks, earning a “hell yeah!” and a “hurry up!” from the two boys. he looks at you and nods before speeding up. suddenly, the raft goes flying and they last a whopping twenty seconds before they both let go and belly flop into the water. you and quinn erupt into a fit of laughter, grabbing your stomachs in pain and wiping the tears that are falling.

“holy shit, are you guys okay?!” you ask, still calming your laughter as they climb back onto the boat. jack groans slightly as he rubs his now red stomach, giving you a perfect excuse to stare. you bite the inside of your cheek as he rubs up and down his abs with his hand in an attempt to soothe the pain, blissfully unaware that his entire vline is showing. he fixes his shorts and you quickly look away after you realize you’re staring, and thankfully he doesn’t notice.

“your turn y/n!” he smiles menacingly, and you quickly shake your head.

“absolutely not! personally, i don’t have a death wish today, thanks though!” you exclaim, immediately grabbing your book from your bag. “you’re so lame y/n,” he pouts before sitting down next to you and rubbing a towel in his hair to dry it.

you can’t help but slyly glance at his biceps, when the fuck did he get this hot?

suddenly, ‘spin you around’ by morgan wallen begins playing and you jump up with a smile. “i fucking love this song!” you say, immediately singing along as the words begin playing.

yes, you’re a few white claws in at this point, but you’re also just happy to be with the people you love. you’re dancing around on the boat singing the words, and jack is looking at you like he just fell in love. his smile is big and his eyes are glued to you, watching you dance and sing like a crazy person, yet he’s not judging you. far from it, actually. he thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen, and the fact you’re in a bikini isn’t helping either.

he chuckles to himself and pulls the beer bottle to his lips, admiring the smile on your face and the way your cheeks are flushed from the sun.

—

the house is quiet since everyone is taking a nap or just resting from the long day out. you’re currently sat on the dock, playing some music from your phone and watching the water ripple from the slight breeze. the sun is approaching the horizon and you’re cuddled into the same sweatshirt from last night, the one jack gave you when you were 15.

suddenly, footsteps appear behind you and you turn around to see jack. “you okay?” he asks, sitting down next to you. “yeah, just got bored,” you shrug, turning down the music slightly. he smiles at the sight of you in his sweatshirt.

“watcha thinking about?” he asks.

“everything, really,” you pause. “i mean, isn’t it crazy how you and quinn are in the nhl, im in college, and lukeys already seventeen? i can still vividly remember when we were seventeen spending summers here, and talking about where we would end up for college. you were listing off your offers with no idea that you’d go first overall, while i was stressing about my common app,” you chuckle.

he smiles softly at the memory, “yeah, i miss those days honestly. i kinda wish i got the chance to go to college. it seems fun. maybe one day you can take me to a frat party,” he says before nudging your shoulder with his. you giggle slightly, “frats are gross and dirty, you’d hate it.”

“eh, maybe i would, but at least i get to spend time with you,” he shrugs. your cheeks run hot at his words, was he just being nice or was he flirting? you couldn’t tell, and the moment fell silent.

“i miss you, y/n. i miss living three blocks away from you. its so weird being in different states. and like, now you have all of these friends that i’ve never even heard of before. it’s really weird,” jack admits. your stomach turns with butterflies at his words, and you turn to look at him, praying the heat in your cheeks isn’t visible.

“i miss you too, rowdy. it’s hard being away from my best friend.” he rolls his eyes at the nickname but bites back a smile. as if on queue, spin you around by morgan wallen begins playing through your phone speaker. your face lights up, and jack suddenly gets an idea. “c’mere,” he says, forcing you to stand up. you furrow your brows before suddenly he starts singing along to the words softly, and you follow suit.

jacks heart is racing, but he knows that if he doesn’t confess his feelings soon enough, he’ll never do it. he takes your hands in his and sings along to the lyrics, “well you might tell me ‘boy hell nah,’ but hell what can hurt?”

you giggle as he takes your hands and spins you while singing, “cause i just wanna spin you ‘round, and ‘round this dance floor, get you drunk on a love like mine… might wind up and steal a couple kisses…” the rest of the words that jack sings along to fade as your heart thumps in your chest. he spins you gently around and then pulls you into his chest, looking down at you.

“cause the way you stole my heart without a sign, girl it outta be a crime,” he says softly. you’re wrapped in his arms looking up at him, a soft smile plastered on your lips and a heavy blush on your cheeks. “is it bad that i really want to kiss you?” you whisper, and jack grins like the happiest man on earth.

“i’ve wanted to kiss you for as long as i’ve known you,” jack quietly replies, his hands finding their way to the small of your back.

as the sky is painted with faint hints of pink and gold, jacks lips find yours for the first time in nineteen years.

[mountainsandmayhem]

BDSMaid - Chapter 9

Series Summary: In order to save money for law school, you accept a job working as a maid for high end clients. You aren’t supposed to know whose home you’re cleaning, but your curiosity is peaked by your first client, and when the two of you have a shocking and surprising run in more than just your curiosity peaks.  Word Count: 5k CW: see small red lettering below the cut AN: I'm going to miss them!! I'm absolutely heartbroken that I'm done, but so fucking proud of myself for what I've created. Thank you to @lotusbxtch for being my beta from pretty much the very beginning. I am so grateful to you and so honoured (yes, with a u because I'm Canadian lol) to call you my friend. Also little shoutouts to @for-a-longlongtime, @alltheirdamn, @mermaidgirl30 and @littlevenicebitch69 for listening to me go on about them for 80% of 2024. As always, graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics

My Masterlist || Series Masterlist

TW: unprotected p in v, one spank, multiple orgasms and Overstim hinted at, pining, heartbreak

Eight Months Later

Joel

“I got yelled at by a feisty brunette last night at that gala,” Tommy says as the two of them sip whiskey at the bar of the club. 

“Probably deserved it.” Joel deadpans and closes the folder of invoices he’s looking over.

He should be doing this in his fancy, and newly renovated, office across the street. He was in the large office for all of three minutes the day after you left when he could only see the ghost of you. From the chair you sat in when you first asked him to teach you how to be a sub, to the door he pinned you against and confessed how out of his mind he was over you, everything was you, and it had to go if he had any chance of following what you needed from him. Joel hasn’t even been in his room at the club out of the fear of what it would do to him. Would I still be able to smell the lavender of her shampoo in there? Still be able to hear her beautiful cries of pleasure and pain bouncing off the walls?

“She thought I was you,” Tommy says, glancing over at his brother and interrupting Joel’s impending spiral.

Joel sighs, slipping his reading glasses from his face before taking a long pull of the amber liquor from his crystal glass. Tommy looks straight ahead as he continues.

“She’s doing great, by the way. Or at least that’s what her friend said when she was scolding me.”

 Joel winces at his words, “Of course she is, Tommy.” Even though it's been almost a year since you left, just the mention of you rips his barely-mended heart back in half. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, he still feels like he did in his kitchen. 

The very fibers of his being ache just as hard for you now as they did then. He longs to see you and touch you, to feel your warm, soft skin under his hands again. Anyone before you was always, ‘Yes, Mister Miller,’ even when they weren’t in a scene; but not you. You weren’t afraid to be curious and unapologetically yourself. He hasn’t laughed as hard with anyone, including Tiffany, as he did with you. But the part that he misses the most is the way you look at him the first time you see him. Your eyes soften, velvety pink lips parting slightly before they curl into a smile that makes his heart hammer behind his ribs. Then, he watches your shoulders relax and it makes him feel like he hung the moon and stars for you, and if he could have, he would have.  

He clears his throat and then rasps, “She’s too smart to not be doing well.”

Tommy stands, bringing his hands to rub at Joel's shoulders. He squeezes his tense deltoid muscles and with a hint of mischief in his voice he says, “Lots of pretty girls here tonight if you feel like moving on.”

Joel shakes his head and pulls away from Tommy’s grasp with a grunt. “Never gonna happen. Get outta here before you get yelled at two nights in a row.”

“Just too bad for me that you aren’t a hot brunette,” Tommy says with a laugh.

“I have brown hair,” Joel replies defensively, running his fingers through the grown out curls. 

“Not to kick you when you’re down, but it’s mostly grey at this point.”

Joel holds up a single finger at Tommy over his shoulder as he laughs and walks away. 

Two and a half years later

You

You’ve been up to your eyeballs in studying as you prepare for your finals. These last few years in California have been the hardest yet most fulfilling time of your life. Two nights in a row now, you’ve fallen asleep in the library, only waking when your Spotify would switch from the white noise playlist you use to help you focus, to your “getting ready” playlist. After dragging yourself to your dorm room in the dead of the night, you’d get a few restless hours of sleep before heading right back to your favourite studying spot. You can’t believe that in just a few short weeks you’ll be graduating and stepping into the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself.

The unmistakable FaceTime jingle fills your AirPods. Jamie’s name is splayed across the screen of your phone, along with a photo of the two of you at Albany Beach when she visited this past Christmas break. You put your highlighter down and slide the answer toggle over. 

“Hey!” She says, her warm smile shining up at you. You squint, trying to place where she is. You don’t often let yourself think of Joel, but the cracks across your screen make FaceTiming difficult, and the selfish side of you always wishes you had grabbed that new phone before you left. Your head cocks to the side; broken screen or not, you don’t recognize the background.

“Where are you?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m good, thanks. How are you?” She jests with a mocking eye roll.  “I’m at a cabin.”

“What cabin?” You say, glaring at her jokingly. A deep laugh comes from the otherside of the phone and your eyes widen. “Who’s that?”

The man's voice comes from offscreen, “I can’t believe you thought she wouldn’t ask where you were. She’s going to be a lawyer, for god's sake.”

“Jamie, who is that? What is going on here? Blink twice if you need rescuing!” You joke. 

Jamie blushes, looking over the phone at whoever that voice is coming from. “I just wanted to call to see how the studying is going, and to let you know that I got the graduation tickets.”

A glass of white wine appears in front of Jamie and she smiles before puckering her lips in a kissing motion towards the man in the room with her. “Ok, seriously, who the fuck is that and where are you?”

“I was also calling to let you know that Laren can’t make it anymore and Odette is in New York,” she takes a small sip of her wine.

“Oh, well that’s ok,” you say, trying to squash the disappointment and hoping it doesn’t show in your voice or face. You wished that at least two of your three best friends would be there for you. “It can just be me and you, baby!” 

“Well…I’m wondering if I could maybe bring my boyfriend? Might be a good opportunity for you two to meet.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You say, officially abandoning all study materials until you get some answers. Jamie raises a perfectly manicured finger and calls the mystery man over. 

You swallow hard as Tommy Miller appears beside her. 

Jamie glances up at him, her bright green eyes full of admiration, his mirroring hers. The starry look in their eyes tells you everything you need to know; they’re so far gone for that even a search and rescue team wouldn’t be able to save them. She looks back at you. “Meet again, I guess.”

You try to push for answers, but either of them give in, claiming you need to focus on finals. Before you hang up, Jamie promises to tell you the entire story when you see each other next. You’re happy for your friend, especially seeing the way Tommy looked back at her. Even through your cracked screen you could see the love, but as you try to go back to studying you have a hollow feeling in your stomach.

Graduation Day

You

The late afternoon sun fills your dorm room, boxes of your belongings stacked haphazardly around you. After walking the stage tonight, you are going out to dinner with Jamie and Tommy, and then he has paid for a hotel suite so the two of you can have a girls’ night. You can’t wait to hear how Tommy went from, in Jamie’s previous words, “my dad’s new asshole friend” to her boyfriend. 

You step in front of your floor length mirror, zipping up the black graduation gown over your knee length, form fitting, deep emerald velvet dress. The California sun has been good to you, your tanned legs and sunkissed nose and cheeks are glowing. You place your blue and yellow Berkeley Law stole over your head and then grab your cap, ensuring the ‘Class of ‘28’ tassel is secure. You fluff your curls one last time as a light knock comes from your door. 

“Ready to graduate, gorgeous?” Ronan smiles at you, eyes trailing down your gown. He’s the type of handsome that’s almost painful to look at, but more importantly - you wouldn’t have made it through these last three years without him. You met the first day - the lock on your door wasn’t working, and he waltzed in on you half naked when he mistook your room as his. 

You smile at him in your doorway now; remembering the way you screamed at him that first time, trying to cover your chest, and him scrambling to close the door. His eyes were clamped shut, and he slammed his finger so hard that you had to take him for stitches. Now, several years later, he fills out his graduation gown perfectly with those wide rugby shoulders, a sight you couldn’t even have imagined back then. Whichever angel made him didn’t make a single mistake - he’s tall and insanely broad, with dark sandy blonde hair, and clover green eyes that in the right light are a golden hazel. He’s easily one of the smartest men you’ve ever met and an incredible athlete. The cherry on top, because of course there’s more: he’s an international student and has a panty-melting Irish accent. 

“Beyond ready. Let's become lawyers, babe.”

He steps aside, one arm out in a ‘ladies first’ gesture. Handsome, charming, and thoughtful - a dangerous trifecta. You slide your hand in the crook of his muscle-lined arm and walk across campus together.

Ronan jerks his head towards the coffee cart. “Remember when you spilled your entire coffee on your new puffer jacket?”

You glare up at him, you saved for weeks to buy that jacket. “No, but I remember you throwing up in that trash can after the Halloween party last year.” 

“Well, if Beach Party Barbie had helped Lifeguard Ken with all those shots we wouldn’t have had that problem, would we?” You laugh as Ronan puffs out his chest, but you both know he was more than willing to take your half of the ‘Best Couples Costume' shots. 

Finally, you reach the courtyard where the law students will be walking across a stage that acts as the symbolic bridge to the rest of their lives. I’m a lawyer, you think to yourself and try to force a smile. The magnitude of the day only really starts to sink into your bones as you see the friends and families of your classmates start to take their seats. The excited feeling you had earlier starts to morph. You’re proud of yourself for what you’ve done these last three years, and this was just the first step. You have so much to look forward to, so why do you feel a sense of dread building in the pit of your stomach? 

Ronan walks you to where you need to line up alphabetically, kissing your cheek and then, after leaning in and placing his large hand on your lower back, he whispers a joke about how you better not trip. You glance around the thick crowd for Jamie and Tommy. After realizing it’s hopeless to try and spot them in a group this large, you slip your cap over your hair and get in the procession line. 

You try to soak in every minute of the day, from the speeches to the birds chirping in the background, but something akin to loss flutters at the base of your spine. You’re just as sad to be leaving Berkely as you are excited to carve out your future. Leaving here isn’t what’s causing you to feel this way, however. You try to tell yourself that maybe it’s just nerves; even with all the job offers coming in from your internships, it’s normal to be nervous about what comes next. 

As the student union president gives his toast to the family and friends, you look down at your lap, pushing back the cuticle on your left thumb. Maybe it’s leaving Ronan. He’s been an anchor for you, grounding you almost every day of the last three years and you don’t know how you let yourself become this dependent on anyone, especially a man, again.  

You shake your head at yourself and try to move your focus to the cuticle on your other thumb. Seeing the skin clean from the nail bed eases the tension slightly for you. ‘I’m allowed to be nervous when leaning on people, but not everyone will leave me,’ you recite almost automatically in your mind, the mantra you’ve had these past few years whenever you feel yourself getting this anxious. Just as you finish the thought, a car revs in the distance and the realization of what - or who - you’re actually missing slams through you so hard that you almost feel winded. Your lungs ache, tears pushing behind your eyes as his name rings loudly through your mind.  

Joel.

You kept yourself busy since the minute you left Austin. The busier you were, the less time you had to focus on the void in your heart. During the school year, you didn’t have to find things to stay busy with; law school nearly chewed you up and spit you out. Over the summers, you worked as an intern and visited your friends. There was never a quiet moment, never too much time alone with your thoughts, and it was better this way. You can confidently say that you’d only thought of Joel six times since you walked out of his house that day: when you fell asleep on the beach and were so sunburnt you could barely move for three days; when you failed your first test; when your rusted SUV, that acted as your ticket to freedom at eighteen, died on the freeway in rush hour (from that point on you had to rely on public transportation to get you to the homes you cleaned). When you experienced your first earthquake; when you stayed up for forty-two hours straight after your partner in a group project didn’t have their side of the work done; and, lastly, this past New Year’s Eve when you were in Austin and thought you saw him at a party. 

“Is he here?”, that little box of feelings that you shut away in a vault long ago wonders. “Has anything changed for him in the last three years?” 

The small smile that pulls at your cheeks, and the excited flutter of your heart when you think about the possibility of seeing him again, proves that maybe nothing has changed for you. As the minutes tick by, your mind races with all the possible scenarios for after the ceremony. What if he is here? What will you say? What will he say? How will Ronan react, you know he has strong feelings about what happened between you and Joel. Even worse though, what if he’s not here? But maybe he’s at the hotel where Tommy and Jamie are staying?  

Before you know it, your row is standing and walking single file towards the stage. With each strike of your high-heeled strappy sandals against the concrete, a memory of Joel floods your system. The toast he made you in his kitchen, the kiss in that dimly lit hallway on your birthday, the way he walked you through his club and how calmly he talked about you being in charge before going into the voyeur room. The multitude of orgasms he gave you within the four walls of his private room. Him singing on the small stage of the dive bar you found, followed by him spanking you right there in the bathroom with his hand clamped to your face to keep you quiet. His strong hand grasping your thigh as he drove you to his house. The way he tasted on your tongue. The smell of his skin: all ash and leather, occasionally mixed with whiskey or mint. The feel of his body: hard, broad and hot. His shuddered breaths as he confessed so many things in so few words. 

‘It’s only you, sweet girl.’

‘Just call me Joel.’

‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, sweet girl.’

You carefully walk up the stairs, forcing the thoughts of Joel from your mind, just in time to hear your name announced as a graduate of Berkeley Law. You float across the stage, grabbing the piece of paper that acts as your degree until the real one comes, shaking the hand of the Dean who flips your tassel before you walk to the stairs on the other side; the stairs that symbolize the ending of your time here and the beginning of the rest of your life. 

As you reach the top of the steps, you look out into the audience and see Jamie. She pumps her fist in the air and before you can process the empty seat beside her, you feel it; a strong tug from behind your navel. It takes you less than a heartbeat to find him and the sight before you floods your body with a familiar warmth. Standing under a large tree at the edge of the audience, dressed in all black, and holding his Stetson hat to his heart, is Joel. For the first time in years you feel whole again.

 You keep your gaze on him, worried that if you so much as blink that he’ll be gone. You are supposed to follow your classmates, but you veer left, walking towards Joel. The closer you get, the more at ease you feel. He’s real, you think, he’s here. You stop a foot or so in front of him. 

“Hi, Freckles,” he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. His eyes dance around your face, almost as if he’s trying to memorize this moment. You can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling exactly how you are.   

“Hi, Sweet Cheeks,” you say, the same tremble in your voice, as you try desperately to hold it together. “You’re here.”

He nods and you give him a tight-lipped smile as your mind races. There’s so much you want to say, but now that he’s standing right there in front of you after three years, you don’t know where to start. 

Joel breaks the silence, jutting his chin in the direction of the other graduates as he says, “I saw you come in with your boyfriend. When I saw you kiss, I was going to leave, but I made you a promise.”

You knit your eyebrows together and take a step closer. “Boyfriend?”

“The man you walked over here with,” Joel says, his black Stetson sliding down the chest you so desperately want to touch as he drops his hands to his sides. He’s left no barriers between the two of you except the heartbreak that’s evident on his face. 

You laugh quietly, “No, he’s - that’s Ronan.”

Joel nods. “Okay.”

“He’s my friend,” you clarify, and when Joel’s face stays the same, you add, “And he’s still as gay as the day we first met!”

Joel lets out a whoosh of a breath and closes the distance between the two of you, his free hand comes to one of your curls, twirling the end of it around his thick fingers. Soft and silky meets rough and calloused. “I’m so proud of you, Freckles.”

You don’t miss how he watches your tongue dart between your lips, “Thank you.”

“So? How does it feel?” He gives you a soft crooked smile, his dimple carving into the short facial hair of his salt and pepper beard. Between that smile, and the way his brown eyes wash over you, you’re overcome with affection. He let you go. He did exactly as you asked him. He didn’t chase you or try to convince you to stay. You told him if he really loved you, then he’d do exactly this; and in turn, he did what he said he would. 

He showed up. 

“I love you,” you state and the air between you turns electric, almost like this moment could either set you both aflame or act as a generator for your future together. Joel gives you that look, the one that makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. He lets the curled end of your hair slip from his fingers, reaching up towards your graduation cap but hesitating.

“May I?” He rasps and swallows hard.

You nod, and knowing exactly what he’s going for, you take the Stetson from his other hand and place it on your head after he removes your cap. The brim of it blocks out everything but the two of you.

“Say that again, sweet girl,” he murmurs.

“I love you,” it’s barely a whisper this time. “Even after three years apart, you are everything to me. I asked you to let me go so I could accomplish this, and you did. You’ve always done what I asked, what I needed. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but I am sorry that I missed out on getting to spend the last three years with you looking at me how you are now. I love you, Joel Miller.”

He brings his lips within a breath of yours, and your body practically vibrates with the knowledge that if you leaned just a bit forward, you’d finally have his mouth on you again. You can almost taste the mint on his tongue as the familiar fragrance of ash and leather surround you. “I have dreamed of hearing those three words leave your beautiful lips more times than I can count, baby. You’re it for me. I’ll do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart, but I’m always going to be here for you, rooting for you and encouraging you. I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of you. I love you, too, my sweet girl.”

Finally, he presses his warm, firm lips against yours while pulling you tight to his body. You wrap an arm around his neck, holding the black cowboy hat against your head with your other hand. It doesn’t matter that the ceremony isn’t done, or that there are hundreds of people to your right. For the first time in three years, everything goes quiet. He hums contentedly and you feel yourself melt against him, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. He parts his lips, letting you take the first swipe of your tongue against his. Need floods your system, and based on the way he grinds into you, he’s feeling the same. 

He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours. “Take me home,” you practically purr.

“Where do you want home to be? I’ll go anywhere,” Joel rasps, running his nose down the bridge of yours. 

“Austin,” you respond, your breath catching as his lips ghost along the side of your mouth.

“I sold my portion of the club to Tommy and Tess. I don’t have anything holding me in Austin anymore, sweet girl. If you have a job offer you really want, that’s where we’ll go.” You pull back to look at him. You can tell by the set of his jaw that he’s serious. 

“I want to go to Austin. I have a job offer there.”

“Good thing I told Tommy not to touch my room at the club then.”

“That’s a very good thing,” you moan and then pull him in to kiss again. The audience behind you erupts into cheers, celebrating the accomplishments of every student in that crowd. 

You’re a lawyer, and suddenly, the future doesn’t seem so scary.

Joel

Taking you home to Austin that night unfortunately wasn’t an option. After finding Jamie in the crowd, and being formally introduced to Ronan, he called the car to pick up the three of you. You all met Tommy at the restaurant, celebrating with all the expensive homemade pasta and overpriced wine that you wanted; even though seeing you in that curve-hugging velvet dress was slowly killing him. Joel had kept at least one hand on you since seeing you again, and he doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon. 

He didn’t want to rush you on your big night, so he waited patiently, listening to you tell stories of your last three years, and revelling in the evident joy that you and Jamie share over being together again. When dessert comes around he catches Tommy’s attention and gives him a small smile. It’s fitting that the two brothers, who have been so close their entire lives, would fall in love with best friends. 

Once in his room, he spent two hours stripping you down at an almost painfully slow pace. He kissed every inch of your skin twice over and has pulled five orgasms, and counting, out of you so far. 

Now, Joel is seated in the wide velvet arm chair in the corner of his hotel suite. His cock is buried deep inside of your tight cunt as you straddle him. Your skin feels like butter under his hands as he trails them along your back and the globes of your perfect ass. He’s missed tying you up, but this is what he longed for: the earth shattering intimacy he feels with you in these moments.   

“Please,” you mumble into his neck, desperate to move your hips.

“Not until you answer me,” he demands softly. “How many times was it that you needed me, but were too stubborn to reach out?”

Earlier tonight you told him about the six times you really needed him. He’d kissed you softly after each confession, returning the trust with a time he needed you. After the last one, he’d pulled back to look at you with dark eyes. He’d hated that you needed him and he couldn’t be there. He’d clenched his back molars twice before he said you’d be denied six orgasms the next time you were at the club, but tonight you have permission to come as often as you need to. 

He swats your already reddened ass cheek and your pussy flutters as you cry out. “Mister Miller, stop. Please, just let me move.”

“Do you need to use your safeword?”

“No,” you respond with a pout. 

“How many times?” He says again through gritted teeth, even though already knows the answer. 

“Six,” you sob. 

He tuts and then growls, “That doesn’t sound like my good girl, does it?”

You shake your head against his throat and moan a sound of disagreement.

“Do you want to come for me again?”

“Yes, Mister Miller. Please!”

He trails his fingers up and down your back again, the thin sheen of sweat on your skin makes it easy for him to caress you. He smiles to himself at the shiver that racks through your body at his touch. You react so beautifully to him. “Yeah? You wanna grind your swollen little clit on my piercing, baby girl?”

“Please,” you whine again, stretching out all the vowels in the word.

“Show me. Ride my cock, take what you need.” 

You lift your head from the crook in his neck and pull back slightly, rocking your hips back and forth; a sultry laugh leaves his lips at your eagerness. You look at him with hooded eyes, hair stuck to your forehead. His eyes trail down your neck to the bruises he sucked into your collar bone earlier and then to your breasts; both of which are covered in his marks. He watches the little gold nipple clamps, and the chain that connects them, bounce with each flick of your hips. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. You look like a goddess, my goddess. Who do you belong to?”

“I’m yours, baby,” you say through shallow breaths. He pulls at the chain and you cry out in pain. “S-sorry, Mister Miller.”

“Again, sweet girl. Tell me who you belong to.”

“Oh fuck, y-you, Mist -” his hands come to your face and when he whispers your name the rest of your sentence dies on your tongue.

“Just call me Joel.” The commanding voice of his alter ego is gone as he says it. 

Your hips slow, changing from a frantic back and forth to a sensual swirling motion. “I’m yours, Joel. Forever.”

He kisses you softly, a silent telling of how vulnerable he is at this moment. “Don’t ask me to let you go ever again.”

The smile you give him causes his heart to skip, “I won’t.”

“You might, sweet girl. I won't survive it if you do, so I’m going to remind you of this moment as often as possible for the rest of my life. Remind you how much you’re loved and supported. You’re mine, Freckles.” Your hips swirl and he feels you tighten up around him. “Come for me, my sweet girl.” 

“Fuck, fuck, Joel!” It’s a cry and moan all at once. 

“I’m here, it’s ok, baby.” With that, your body shudders and you fall into him as you shatter. Your pussy clenches and releases rapidly around his length. His cock twitches, and once he can’t hold it anymore he relaxes, letting his orgasm rock through him in time with yours.

“I’m yours, too,” he gasps as he melts into you.

The End

Coming Soon:

Curious how Jamie ended up with her "dads new asshole friend?"

Part 2 of the BDSMaid Trilogy coming mid 2025!

Also, stay tuned for the epilogue for Joel and Sweet Girl.

[spiderfunkz]

BLOWN A WISH

pairings. cho hyun-ju x f!reader

cw. established relationship, fluff, kisses, hyun-ju forgets reader's birthday, this takes place long after the games (they all survive and get a fair share of the money yay).

author's note: i have two more fics for hyun-ju in my drafts, please keep requesting for her! she's such a dear i love her so much RAAAH

to be fair, birthdays weren't a big thing in your house.

it never bothered you, well, sometimes it does. only when you were little, you used to get invited to birthday parties, then, you realized how much it mattered at that age. but no matter how much you protested to your parents, they denied every single request.

you matured though. you realized that it was just a reminder of the time passing since you were born. ever since then you never mind it.

and well, as you got older, you had bigger things to worry about. school, classes, studies, college, jobs, work, bills, bills, bills.. so many bills. to be covered in debts you are unable to pay, the thought of your birthday never crossed your mind ever again.

but after some, not so pleasant events, you managed to get back on your feet. you managed to pay your debts, find a job, a nicer apartment, and a very, very, nice woman.

cho hyun-ju had her struggles as well. you talked to her only once throughout the deadly games, but soon you were reunited during a stressful night at a convenience store. you soon grew a bond together, sure it was bonded by trauma— but it was amazing to have someone close by.

you two grew closer everyday. after some time, she moved into your apartment. it was everything you could ever imagine. things were great. you went on dates, talked everyday, cooked together— hyun-ju is an amazing cook you noted, and everything seemed perfect.

everything is perfect. but recently, jobs have been piling up, specifically hyun-ju's. your time and her time kept getting disrupted by sudden meetings, paperwork, and nagging clients.

soon, the coffee table by the couch was filled with unorganized files. you could only shower hyun-ju with reassurance and motivating words, making her coffee from time to time, and giving her forehead kisses before going to bed early.

you respected her work. so you never bothered her. besides, you got your own things to settle.

not long after, your birthday came.

hyun-ju had planned everything beforehand. she'd come back from work earlier, she'd cook your favorite meal, and she'd give you a present she had already prepared (a handmade gift and a letter for you). she also bought a big bouquet of flowers that were meant to be picked up—

two days ago?

the date on her phone made her eyes widen. did she just miss your birthday? she couldn't believe it. surely this was some glitch in the matrix or something!

she realized you weren't home yet, right, you are currently out buying groceries. how much time does she have left to cook you dinner? she didn't care to check the time again, she went to the kitchen to cook a quick yet delicious meal. it was your favorite.

hyun-ju had become a witch running against time, your favorite meal was ready in no time. after plating it, she quickly called a shop to get flowers sent right away, then, she took a break to ease off for a bit.

the handmade gift and letter is in a box under your bed, she knew for sure. after inhaling a glass of water, she grabbed it and put a ribbon as a finishing touch. she was very proud of it.

she waits rather impatiently for the flower to arrive,

and almost in an instant, the doorbell rings.

she ran to open it, only to be met with your beautiful face, holding a bunch of paper bags filled with all kinds of needs.

"hyun-ju, ah, i forgot my keys, see." you gestured to your empty pockets. hyun-ju basically froze in place, "could you please help me with these." you laugh awkwardly, she grabs the paper bags immediately.

she mentally facepalms herself, "oh and. this came by the lobby, said it was for cho hyun-ju, so i grabbed it since i was going up. i figured you were still doing paperwork." you motioned to the bouquet of flowers that was hidden behind the paper bags.

you have to be kidding me.

hyun-ju sighs, "let me bring those bags in for you first." she puts the paper bags on the counter, you close the door with your feet, your arms holding the remaining paper bag and the bouquet of flowers, placing it beside the rest.

"so, um," hyun-ju starts, "that bouquet was actually for you."

you tilt your head in surprise, smiling. "really?"

hyun-ju nods. "see, it was supposed to be delivered two days ago, for your birthday. but gosh- i'm so sorry. i was so busy with work i forgot to pick it up. it's probably starting to wilt as we speak, so i bought a new one and called to get it delivered right away."

before you could respond she continues,

"and i know it is no excuse to forget your own girlfriend's birthday, i had everything planned out, you know. i was going to cook your favorite meal, and then surprise you with the flowers and the gifts i've prepared. but, i don't know what happened. time just flew by and i just realized earlier today," she catches her breath, "but do not fear, i cooked the meal just in time, it's right on the table ready for us. and well, you've seen the flowers so it's no longer a surprise but, there's one more thing."

she quickly runs off to grab the box under the bed before coming back to you in your confused state. "i made this. it's special, just for you."

she hands it to you, the words 'for my one and only :)' written neatly on it, sparkled with glitter and stickers.

"oh, hyun-ju! you shouldn't have," you smile widely.

"i'm really sorry for forgetting, i don't know how i can make up for it," she frowns.

"you know i don't usually do birthdays. this is the most i've ever gotten in my entire life. i'm very grateful for you, hyun-ju."

you give her a kiss, a very sincere one.

"thank you so much, i really mean it."

she smiles, brushing off how her cheeks are turning red. "come on, let's eat, the foods gonna go cold. i made you your favorite."

"my favorite's right here, what do you mean?" you tease, pointing at hyun-ju's now red face.

[jarofstyles]

The Heart Of The Woods

Hi my loves! I wanted to give you guys a peek into our grumpy mountain manrry! He’s different to some that I’ve written before but I think you’ll like him if you give him a chance

Read the series ( 9 parts ongoing) and 220+ exclusive writings on our Patreon!

WC- 1.4k

Warnings- tiny bit of rejection, asshole h

He hadn’t been sure what he was thinking.

Hiring a housekeeper had not been on his agenda, but it put his mum at ease. Being far from her, up in his large cabin in the middle of the mountain, she had said she worried a lot about not only his well being, but about him overworking himself. His days started early, working on splitting wood, emails, driving down to deliver it, and all of that. His group of employees that worked on the lot not too far from his own place up the mountain were his main source of socialization and even they knew not to bug him too much.

Harry preferred to be left alone.

So why hire a housekeeper? It sounded okay at the time. Someone to keep the fire stoked and the house warm so he could come home and not have the house be cold for him and his animals, someone to cook and clean and… another body in the house. Make it less lonely. Maple was a good companion, Ash was too, but a dog and a cat didn’t replace human connection. Perhaps that’s why he had found himself feeling more irritated lately.

Watching the car pull in, he had to wonder how she could fit her belongings into such a small vehicle. Weren't women supposed to have a lot of stuff? The question was answered as she stepped out of the car, light wash jeans clinging to her thighs and pink sweater hanging on her form as she waved up to him. "Hi!" she grinned a tad bit too brightly for his comfort, jogging up to the wraparound porch. "I’m so sorry l'm a little late. I got lost at the turn- the split in the road? and I didn't have good service to call and let you know. I usually try and do that.”

She was rambling.

He grumbled, wiping his hands on his work pants. “Late's fine. I didn’t have any plans today, just don’t make a habit of it.” Glancing at her car, then back at her, he gave her a little bit of a look. “You got everything you need?” He wasn’t the best at socializing, famously, but she wasn’t aware of that yet considering their talk had mainly consisted of emails. It would be something she quickly found out.

“Oh!” Her chuckle was nervous as the man stood tall above her on the wooden porch, making her look up a bit at him. “Uh, yeah. I.. I kinda had to get out of my place in a hurry, so this worked out.” She smiled up at him before looking back to her car. “Did you want me to grab my stuff now or did you want me to do it after you give me the run down of what you want me to do?”

He sighed, stepping aside to let her pass. “Follow me.” He led her inside, shutting the door behind her. It was weird feeling someone else in his space. It had been a long time since he’d heard footsteps other than his own or his pets in the hall, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it yet. Leading her down the wooden hall, he brought her towards the main part of the house- a large step down living room he mentally referred to as the den. The stone fireplace was lit with the fire going already as he gestured to a chair by it. “Sit.”

Y/N was distracted a little by the skylight- and then the view outside. It was absolutely gorgeous. The whole place was. She had slightly underestimated it despite the size of the place when she had applied to work eyes but she would make it work. At least the view was great. She could see that there was a deck outside, the view of the mountains sprawling behind them sort of blowing her away. The awe only lasted a few moments though, when she heard him clear his throat. Oops. “Sorry.” She smiled nervously. “The view distracted me. You’ve got a beautiful home.”

He grunted, not really used to compliments. Small talk wasn’t his thing. He sat down in his recliner, stretching his legs out in front of him before resting his hands on his knees. “So, as your employer, I expect you t’keep this place clean. Cook meals, do laundry, that sort of thing.” He paused, looking at her critically. “M’not home most of the day, and when I am I’m usually in my workshop. It’s the building out to the side that you saw.” He clasped his hands together. “We don’t need to have a ton of interaction. I need you to keep the fire stoked, maybe feed Ash for me if I get back late. I don’t have a lot of rules, but I ask you to respect my space.”

“Uh, alright.” She nodded, taking out her phone to take notes. “I figured the normal house stuff. I…” Her body felt the cringe as she went to ask it. “I haven’t really stoked a fire longer than it’s taken to do a bonfire while camping so, if there’s some sort of magic you know to keep it going longer I’d love to know it.” The girl didn’t want to fuck it up. The man worked with wood. The last thing she wanted to do was waste it.

It did make her a little unsettled to hear the other part, though. “Um, and what do you mean exactly by not needing to interact? Like, you don’t want to see or hear from me?”

Harry paused, his gaze sharpening a little on the girl. He was used to being alone. He liked being alone. He didn’t want to come home to some sort of chatty roommate. “I mean exactly that.” He said gruffly.

“Oh.” She replied quietly, swallowing the lump on her throat. Her gaze averted when his sharpened on hers, looking towards her lap. He was a little intimidating and she felt embarrassed for some reason- but logically she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. Didn’t mean her body knew that, though.

“O-Okay. I’ll make sure to give you your space.” Her head nodded, convincing herself it would be good for her. Maybe akin to rejection therapy. She had hoped for something a little different, but this was the escape she had needed- she couldn’t complain. “Can you tell me what kind of foods you like, or don’t, so I can make what you’ll eat?”

Harry grunted, his expression relaxing slightly at the mention of food. He hated being bothered with small talk, but food was something he could appreciate- it was part of her job, anyways. He could talk abojt that. “I like meat and potatoes. Steak, roast chicken, mashed potatoes, that sort of thing. Don’t bother with fancy shit. Just straightforward, hearty food.”

He paused, thinking for a moment before continuing. “And coffee. Black coffee. None of that fancy latte crap. Just straight up coffee.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “That’s all you need to know for now. You can start preparing dinner and I’ll be back later.”

“Oh! I… are you sure?” She stood up too, following him. “Where should I put my things?” Part of her felt a little nervous she had fucked up with how fast he seemed to want to get out of there, but she didn’t know what she could have done to offend him. Was this just the way he was? Probably. She shouldn’t take it personally- but part of her did, just a bit. “I don’t know which room I should set my things up in.”

Harry turned around, his expression still stern. “You can set up in the spare room down the hall. It’s the first door on the right.” He pointed down the hallway before continuing. “I don’t need any help with my things. Just worry about your own shit for now.”

Her eyes fell down towards the floor, nodding at his words. It must just be the way he was, she concluded. He didn’t bother saying goodbye as she heard the door close, the ticking of the large grandfather clock in the den the only sound until the start of his pickup was muffled outside.

Who the hell was this man? And what had she gotten herself into?

[bubblegumgothglados]

Could you talk at all about the headspace you or other doms or... sadists? (forgive me if the wrong term for I am but a humble masochist) are in during what is considered one of the more "problematic" scenarios such as indulging in kinks related to drowning or nail pulling as you described?

I can imagine very well how the adrenaline and thrill that *I* would feel, but not being very dominant, I have always been curious about the thoughts parts and feelings that make *you* receive enjoyment from the situation.

That is a really interesting question

I suppose first of all I'm going to talk specifically about the situation in which I am both the dominant and the top (sadist), because the situation where I'm the dominant but bottoming (masochist) is very different.

Also I haven't talk to other dominants about this much so this is my experience but it might not mirror everyone elses.

So

Where being the submissive/ bottom for these scenes tends to be a narrowing of focus; your whole world reduced to this moment of pain and adrenaline and fear and pleasure, being the dominant and top is an expanding of focus. There are a million processes running through my mind, I'm taking note of my victims breathing, heart rate, eye movements, muscle movement, the warmth of their skin, etc etc etc. I'm also aware of the temperature of the room, my own stress levels, how long it is since I last checked in with them, what the time is. I take it as my job to be aware of everything because anything could be a sign of something going wrong or about to go wrong.

That's the headspace I'm in.

The second question was what I find enjoyable about it. Well. Because of this intense focus it's very out of body, my own physical reactions are dampened or left behind entirely. The things I'm enjoying are the control; having every single aspect of the scene be mine to manipulate is bliss. The reactions I'm causing; every moan, every scream, every look of panic and fear, absolutely intoxicating. The pure almost animalistic joy of causing pain; almost in a detached, scientific way? Almost like a child pulling the wings off of a butterfly? It's both calming and deeply sexual. And I guess just the satisfaction of doing something I'm really good at, and doing it really well; I know how experienced and knowledgeable I am about this stuff, I come up with a scene, plan it out, and then do it.

I'd love to know if other dominants feel the same way and I hope this helped

[emeraldzzombie]

Through the Ashes Ellie williamsXfem reader

The wind howled through the cracked windows of the abandoned cabin, the only sound besides the occasional groan of the building settling into the earth. The air smelled faintly of mildew and burnt wood, remnants of some long-forgotten fire, but the cabin still provided a sense of shelter amidst the chaos outside. Ellie sat by the fire, sharpening her knife with a practiced, methodical motion. Her brow furrowed, the tension in her body almost palpable. She could hear Y/N moving around the cabin, rummaging through old cabinets and drawers, searching for supplies.

Ellie couldn’t help but glance up every so often, watching Y/N's graceful movements. Her girlfriend was always so determined, always so grounded — a sharp contrast to Ellie’s wild energy. Y/N had a way of making the harsh world feel like something they could face together, like there was still something worth holding onto in the midst of all the destruction.

"How long do you think we can stay here?" Y/N asked from across the room, her voice calm but carrying an underlying edge of concern. She walked toward Ellie, her hand lightly tracing the jagged edges of an old bookshelf. "This place feels... temporary. I don’t know if we can trust it."

Ellie didn’t respond immediately. She continued to run the blade across the whetstone, the rhythmic scrape of metal on stone filling the silence. The fire crackled beside her, casting dancing shadows against the walls. After a few moments, she set the knife down and looked up at Y/N.

"As long as we need to," Ellie said quietly, her voice almost too soft for the harsh world they inhabited. "But we shouldn’t stay too long. The clickers won’t stay away forever, and there’s a town a few miles east. It’s risky, but we’ll make it."

Y/N nodded, her face lined with worry. It wasn’t fear; it was a quiet understanding that their lives were forever in a state of uncertainty. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to protect the only thing she had left — Ellie.

There was something about the way Ellie looked at her, though. Something that made Y/N feel like the rest of the world could disappear, and she would still have her. The weight of it was like an anchor, dragging her deep into a world where it was just the two of them, trying to survive together.

Y/N took a deep breath, moving closer to Ellie. As she approached, she caught Ellie’s eyes, catching the subtle shift — the softening of her expression, the gentle way her lips curled up at the corners. It made Y/N’s heart beat a little faster.

"What?" Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow. She knew exactly what was going on in Y/N’s head.

"You look... different," Y/N teased, smiling despite the seriousness of their situation. "Like you’re not the same person you were when I first met you."

Ellie chuckled and leaned back against the wall. "Yeah? What’s different?"

Y/N stepped closer, her heart thumping louder with each step, and softly ran her hand down the side of Ellie’s arm. "You’re... more."

Ellie’s expression faltered for a moment, the teasing smirk fading into something more serious. Her eyes softened, and she leaned in slightly, just enough to close the gap between them. "More of what?" she asked, her voice low, but not unkind.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, the warmth of Ellie’s body so close to hers. The air between them crackled with unspoken words, a quiet tension that neither of them had ever quite addressed fully. They’d been through so much together — the horrors of this world, the loss of friends, of family, of innocence — and yet here they were, still fighting, still breathing, still holding onto each other.

"More... real," Y/N whispered, brushing her thumb over Ellie’s wrist. "You’ve always been this... fire, this force of nature. But now, you’re more than that. You’re someone I can actually picture a future with. Someone I want to survive for."

Ellie’s gaze softened, and for a brief moment, she didn’t say anything. Her throat tightened, emotions swirling behind her usually confident exterior. They had never really talked about this — about how they felt, about what they meant to each other. They didn’t have time for conversations like this. The world was too dangerous, too broken. But now, in this cabin, with the fire crackling and the world outside as dark and cold as it was, it felt like they were finally allowed to say what had been left unsaid for so long.

Ellie stepped closer, her lips brushing softly against Y/N’s ear. "You make me feel like I could survive anything," she whispered, her breath warm against Y/N's skin. "Like maybe there’s something worth fighting for."

Y/N shivered, a spark of desire lighting up inside her at the intensity of Ellie’s words. She hadn’t expected it — hadn’t expected to hear such vulnerability from her, not in this world. But here they were, standing in the ashes of everything they had known, and Ellie was laying it all out, in the simplest, most beautiful way.

Without another word, Ellie’s lips found Y/N’s in a kiss. It was soft, tentative at first, as though they were both testing the waters. But then Ellie deepened the kiss, pulling Y/N closer, her hands running along Y/N’s sides, memorizing the feel of her in a way that sent shivers down Y/N's spine. She could feel the heat radiating from Ellie, the hunger for something more than survival, something more than the fight to stay alive.

Y/N’s hands moved to Ellie’s shoulders, her fingers digging into the fabric of her jacket, pulling her even closer, as though afraid the moment would slip away if she didn’t hold on tight enough.

When they pulled away, their breath ragged and hearts racing, the silence that followed felt... different. It wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t full of the unspoken fears that lingered in the back of their minds. It was a quiet, shared understanding that they had something worth holding onto in this cruel world.

"I think I’m starting to understand," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why we keep going. Why we keep fighting."

Ellie smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of Y/N’s face, her touch tender and careful. "Yeah? And why’s that?"

"Because we have each other," Y/N replied softly. "And that’s enough. At least, for now."

Ellie nodded, her gaze fixed on Y/N’s lips for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "You’re right," she agreed. "It’s enough. For now, it is."

For a long while, they simply stood there, their foreheads resting together, breathing in sync, letting the quiet of the cabin surround them. The world outside — the clickers, the dangers of the unknown — all felt distant for the first time in a long while. All that mattered was that, together, they could face whatever came next.

Ellie eventually pulled away, looking at Y/N with a glint of mischief in her eyes. "You know, I think we deserve a bit more than just a kiss after everything we’ve been through."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her lips. "Oh? And what exactly do you have in mind?"

Ellie leaned in again, her lips brushing against Y/N’s cheek, before she pulled back with a wicked grin. "I think it’s time we make this night last a little longer."

And with that, the two of them moved toward the bed in the corner of the cabin, Ellie laying Y/N softly on the bed slowly taking her pants off only to then crawl on top of her the flames of the fire casting a warm glow on their skin, as they let themselves forget, if only for a moment, the weight of the world outside.

[butlervibesonly]

HI GIRL! Omg I love all of your fics and I would love you to write something about Austin arriving from filming, and reader welcomes him at the airport after being separated for so long. She eventually makes some kind welcoming party or smth! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 💗

𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 | Austin Butler

• NOTE: Hi and thank u! 🫶🏼 What a wonderful idea and I had so much fun writing this! Also for the rest of y’all; my requests are open and I welcome every idea!

• PAIRING: Austin Butler x female reader

• WARNINGS: like a lot of fluff, and slight flirting in the end

You are at the arrival terminal, watching people pass by. Austin is arriving today after being away for two months, filming. It’s almost impossible for you to say how much you missed him, how much those two months felt lonely without him.

You take a look at the board to see the planes arrivals as you finally see that Austin’s plane has landed. You feel the excitement tingling through your body, can’t wait to hug him tightly again. Standing up from the seat you walk closer for him to notice you.

When people start to walk out with suitcases and bags your heart starts to beat a little faster, knowing you’re about to see Austin soon. You check every single person just to make sure you don’t miss him walking by. And how could you miss your boyfriend passing by?

Your eyes land on him - he’s wearing sweatpants and hoodie. He always wears something comfortable when traveling. When Austin’s eyes find you, his face immediately switches to the biggest smile you have seen. His eyes lights up, sparkling with excitement.

You can't take it anymore and you run towards him. As soon as you’re near you jump into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist, not caring about who's looking at you or who recognizes Austin and you, or not. “Oh baby, I missed you so much.”

Austin breathes out, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You hide your face into the crook of his neck and smell in his cologne. Oh, how you missed that. “I missed you too a lot!” Your fingers caress through his hair, kissing his lips.

“Baby, you had absolutely no idea - I was like tortured being without you.” Austin says, cupping your cheeks as you stand down again. “You tell me that, the house was so empty without you and I felt like the loneliest person alive.” You make Austin smile and he hugs you again.

“Don’t worry, I will not leave you again, not for a long time,” Austin presses a kiss on your lips, so softly and gently. It feels like a heaven to feel his lips kissing you again. He takes your hand in his, grabbing his suitcase. “How was your flight?” you ask, walking towards the entrance of the airport.

“Exhausting! I felt like the time wasn’t even moving as much as I counted every minute until this moment.” he explains, holding your hand more tightly. “Let’s go home now, shall we?”

“Definitely.” you smile at him as you guys walk to the parking lot, where Austin’s car is. He left his car keys to you, so that you can travel while he was gone, and as much as you love driving, you enjoy being his passenger princess.

You give him the keys, and Austin opens the car door for you. “Ma’am,” he gestures and you nod gladly. It’s such a wonderful feeling to have him back. You are used to Austin being away, but two months has been really challenging for both of you. You normally travel to the filmings with Austin but due to your busy schedule you decided to stay at home and wait for him to come back.

“I have a little surprised for you at home.” you say as he starts the engine. “Oh do you?” he smirks. “And what is that little surprise, honey?”

“I won’t tell you! If I do, it wouldn’t be a surprise no more..” you say jokingly, and watch Austin steering the wheel. His hands look so good being all muscular. You missed him way too much. Even tho the both of you FaceTimed each other almost every night, the feeling of going sleep with an empty side beside you was the worst.

“Y’know I missed you that much I was falling asleep hugging your pillow? It smells like you and I couldn’t help.” you say all of sudden and Austin glances at you. A smile appears on his lips. “Sounds like something you would do, honey.”

“But that’s not all. I might or might not stole one of your shirt to sleep in…” you admit shyly. If you love something it’s definitely sleeping in his clothes. You love it since day one actually - when you slept at Austin’s place for the first time before the two of you bought your own house, you forgot your pajamas and he offered you one of his shirts.

“Well, I hope it was not my favorite white one?” Austin raises an eyebrow, his sight on the road again. You chuckle “Umm… Would you be mad if I’ll say yes?”

Austin laughs, his hand landing on your tight. “Of course no! How could I be mad at you?” At that you just smile. As the two of you drive home, enjoying the embrace of each other even in silence.

As Austin pulls up to your home, you bit your lip, trying to contain your excitement. He steps out of the car, opens the door for you again and takes out his suitcase. “Close your eyes, baby,” you say, taking Austin’s hand and he follows you up the path. You unlock the door, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before gently pushing it open.

You slowly lead him to the living room that is joined with kitchen and he opens his eyes. As soon as he notices the balloons, his eyes sparkle with gratitude. “Welcome home, love,” you say softly,

His face lits up, a slow smile spreading as he turns to you, eyes filled with almost tears. “You did all this… for me?”

You nod, your cheeks flushing. “I wanted to make tonight special. You’ve been away for so long, and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

Austin sets his suitcase down and pulls you into a tight embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head. “You didn’t have to… This is perfect. More than perfect, Y/n. Thank you.”

“Wait, there’s more, actually,” you warn him, grinning as you pull away and lead him towards the dining table. “I actually made you your favorite meal, bought some wine…”

Austin laughs lightly, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’ve really thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“Well, you deserve it,” you say, your voice soft. “I know how hard you’ve been working, and I wanted to remind you how much I love you.”

Austin sits down, and you pour the wine to his and your glass. As you prepare the food, Austin follows you with his eyes, his heart melting from the fact he’s finally back home. And home is where you are with him.

“There you go,” you pass him the plate and he looks almost mesmerized. “You know a way to man’s heart, baby.” Austin chuckles and you both start eating.

The night passes in a mix of laughter, food that you made, and quiet, stolen moments. You talked for hours, talking about Austin’s filming, the weight of the distance that separated you melting away with each passing second.

“This is exactly where I want to be,”Austin whispers, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Home. With you.” he takes your hand in his. “But I would still like to enjoy some things I missed so much while being away.”

“And what is that, honey?” you ask, smirking. Austin smiles with the biggest grin. “I want to enjoy you,” he smirks and you know where he is leading to. “I missed you way too much, sweetheart, and now that I have you all for myself, I will not leave it just like that.”

[venomous-ragno]

A soulmate AU fic with Ghost/Soap/GN!Reader where their first word is tattooed on you. Also "What kinda name is Ghost and Soap? Sounds like a Men's 11 in 1 body wash together" or something along the lines (Don't feel pressured to write this! If you don't like the premise you can just ignore this ❤❤❤)

Hello dear! I now how old this request is, and I'm sure you've either forgotten about it or given up on it.

I'm sorry it took me so long, but I had a day ofd today and checked up on this blog; your soulmate request simply sparked smth and I had to write it. Soulmate au's are one of my favourites!

Tbf, I haven't written in a long while, so I'm a bit insecure about this one despite spending all day on it. Hope y'all like this one still :)

It was ridiculous. It was surreal. It was a body wash advertisement, come to life. And somehow, despite everything, it felt perfectly, undeniably right.

Back then it had sounded like a magic trick, something that belonged in a fairy tale. You'd spent hours trying to figure out who Ghost was. Maybe that one weird kid from school? Or a character in a book you hadn’t gotten to yet? You had no idea.

There had been a point in time where you would've killed to know this "Ghost". A character made up of theories, hopes and your boundless imagination - all of it so alien you lay awake at night, caught between fiction and reality. Warmth spread from that name. Oh, how it'd keep your mind running as your fingers brushed over those letters. Careful, like a porcelain vase, too precious to even touch.

It'd have you giggle and sigh at the type of person behind these rough, uneven edges. How long would it take for them to show themself to you? Perhaps you were naive to believe it'd be soon.

The years passed, and the mystery of Ghost remained.

The second word, "Soap," arrived when you had already given up on ever finding this Ghost, nestled just above your ankle. This time, you were about to board a flight to Mexico, announcements blasting left and right, people hurrying all over the place. You noticed it almost immediately. It was a different font and unlike the first name, rather cartoonish. You stared at it, a weird mix of excitement and utter bafflement swirling in your gut. The flight attendant called out your flight number, but your thoughts drowned it out; Ghost and Soap? You thought, what kinda names are those? Sounds like a Men’s 11 in 1 body wash together!

Your friends had found it hilarious, of course. They’d joked about meeting Mr. Ghastly-Clean and Mr. Sudsy-Lad, and promised to buy you a "Ghost and Soap" bath bomb for your birthday. You’d laughed along, but a strange feeling had started to settle in you, a yearning that you couldn't quite explain. That book you'd brought along to your eleven hour long flight lay long forgotten at the bottom of your carry-on.

You were no mere teen anymore. Now you were a journalist and war photographer, intent on finding your oen truth. The chaotic energy of a battlefield somehow soothed the constant itch of the two names etched on your skin. You'd met lots of people, exchanged thousands of words, but none had felt like they belonged with Ghost and Soap. For all your eloquence, nothing could put those feelings into words. Again those voices of loved ones telling you to let go, to search harder, to do this and that. What did they knew though? What did they expect to happen, miracles?

One particularly hectic night, you were in need of one such miracle. Your ever so feverent pursuit of the truth brought quite a bit of danger along; nothing you couldn't handle, picked up a few tricks on your travels here and there. Yet this... Was much too big for any of this. There was no article to be written and no photo to be taken when sirens wailed like banshees and grey smoke drove tears into your eyes.

The city was a symphony once. A vibrant, chaotic melody of honking cars, chattering crowds, and the rhythmic clang of street vendors. Now, it was a dissonant cacophony of explosions, the sharp crack of gunfire, and the terrified cries of the few souls still daring to breathe. You? You found yourself swallowed whole by this chaos, a lone note desperately trying to find its escape in the maelstrom.

A child cried, another salve of shots silenced the sound.

Silence was eerie. Silence was deadly.

Mouth dry and nose covered, you fought against the fear that tried to take over; the adrenaline, the stomping beats of your own heart. Too heavy and too sudden was the attack. The soldier that was assigned as your bodyguard just yesterday... You'd swallowed hard when he made you promise to save yourself.

Every little sound had you stop and check corners. A wheezing breeze? Scratching along cement? Some stray cats meow nearly caused you a heart attack.

Just gotta keep moving forward, you reminded yourself, just gotta-

Breathless coughs, two. Some low murmurs. Swearing if you'd heard right. One of the guerilla fighters?

As if moving in slow motion you peaked aroung the corner. Eyes checking every centimeter of a half lit allyway-

Your eyes met his.

Heaven and hell would laugh at you for dying like this. Covered in dirt and blood, lost in a war zone of your own fault. If only you'd listened to your mother telling you to stop being so goddamn curious.

He flinched slightly, then coughed, his voice raspy but with a hint of a playful lilt. “Well, hello there.”

That doesn't sound like someone trying to kill you.

"I see you. Why don't ye come out? Am wounded anyway, won't be able to kill ye even if I wanted to."

Your brain protested. This could be a tactic. Lure you out of hiding and into the light, makes it easier to kill you.

But you moved still.

"Come on closer, will ye?"

Eyes stayed fixated on yours like a trance.

His jaw tightened when you finally knelt beside him. Only now did you notice the blood seeping through his black shirt, streaming down a toned biceps like small rivers.

"You don't look like a guerilla fighter."

He chuckled. "Ye don't look like one to me either. Can't hurt be careful though." The blade in his hand reflected the moonlight.

You froze, your eyes snapping to his. His lips quirked into a small smile, but it faded slightly as he noticed your expression.

"Everything okay?" He asked, his voice a low murmur.

"Soap. You're Soap. The Soap."

Soap's eyes widened... As if he recognised you.

The cold metal pressed to the back of your skull, a chilling whisper against the warmth of your skin. The soldier’s breath, ragged and harsh, fanned the hairs at your nape. You could feel the tremor in his hand, the desperate tension that vibrated through him, yet beneath it all, a resolve as solid as the steel he wielded.

"Step away from my partner."

The words, simple enough, landed with the force of a physical blow. They weren't a plea, or a desperate yell. They were a command, delivered with an authority that sent a shiver down your spine. You had never heard this voice before, but instantly, it felt so right. Like the missing piece you hadn't even known you were searching for.

The chaos of the savaged city faded into the background. All that existed was the look in their eyes, the names on your skin, and that strange, overwhelming feeling of finally coming home. Even if your soulmates smelled of sweat and gunpowder rather than roses and honey.

[xmads-omensx]

Hi I'm new here so, Can a have something about Noah calming his girl down, when she has a anxiety crisis? Sorry if this is kind weird ou anyting, but sometimes a think about Noah to make me feel better about my anxiety. (Sorry for my english, it' mu secong language)

Word Count: 1,295

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, swearing, vague mentions of past trauma, comfort, crying

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @chey-h @tosoundlessdarkistare @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp

Hi anon! Thank you so much for the request! It was actually quite therapeutic for me to write this since I have recently started struggling with panic attacks. I hope you enjoy!

Panic attacks were nothing new to me. In fact, it was quite rare for me to go any long length of time without having one.

Since meeting Noah, however, my anxiety had been somewhat better. I never really went out alone anymore, so I always had someone to distract me when my anxiety was getting bad. Panic attacks became a scarce occurrence which reduced more and more as our relationship progressed.

Granted, Noah had been taking a break from touring, so he was always just… there.

We hung out all of the time. In fact, it was odd if we weren’t together.

I loved that relationship that we had, but part of me felt guilty about it. Like I was depending on him.

Being near him made me feel at ease. Something that was taken away when he left for tour.

The first couple of days were manageable, but as time ticked by, my anxiety started to kick in again.

It wasn’t like I was having panic attacks left right and centre, but I felt more on edge. Going to supermarkets began to be the most stressful part of my week. I never interacted with people there anyway, so my anxiousness felt unnecessary.

 My stress levels increased the longer that Noah was away, and part of me felt guilty about it, which only made things worse.

I shouldn’t need to depend on Noah to keep my anxiety at bay,  I needed to learn how to deal with it on my own.

He called me every night and after every show to talk about our days and just  spend time together, which was the highlight of my day, but it was still hard being so far away from him. On top of that, our calls got shorter and shorter the more my anxiety took hold of me.

I became paranoid that he would leave me since the calls had been keeping him awake into the early hours of the morning, touring would be easier for him if he didn’t have a girlfriend waiting for him at home, and who would want to be with someone who can barely make it out of the house without freaking out.

In an attempt to break out of this crushing feeling, I invited Jesse out for lunch. We went to a beautiful café that was independently run by a lovely woman called Katie, who was hoping to add a small bookstore to the side of the café since many of her customers just came to the café to read.

Jesse’s ears perked up at the mention of this and he began to ask her questions about the books she liked, clearly flirting, but it was nice seeing him so enthusiastic about something like this. It put me at ease knowing that Jesse was the talkative one, therefore I wouldn’t have to do much other that sit and enjoy my iced tea and blueberry muffin, which were both absolutely divine.

I went to bed that night feeling peaceful, which was something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Noah had called that night, but I was too tired to answer, so instead I sent him a simple text.

I’m too tired to call, but I can’t wait to hear from you tomorrow. I love you.

I awoke refreshed and well-rested which was a feeling that I welcomed with open arms.

My mind and body was freed from any stress or anxiety, which was a rare occurrence since Noah had been on tour.

Getting ready for the day felt even better. I took a long shower before doing my skincare, blow-drying my hair and putting on my makeup. I felt clean. I felt good. Fuck that, I felt amazing.

The only thing missing was a tall, tattooed man wrapping his arms around my waist as I went through the steps of my skincare routine and quizzing me on what each item did.

Shaking that thought from my head before it saddened me, I went about my day.

Jesse was sat on the sofa watching Star Wars whilst making awful lightsaber noises, making me laugh at him as I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee.

“You got any plans today?” Jesse asked.

“Not really, I was thinking about going shopping. I need some new concealer so I was thinking about heading to Sephora.” I said with a shrug, sipping my warm coffee.

“Can I come?” He asked.

“Yeah of course.” I said with a smile.

Spending time with Jesse had really been my saving grace since Noah was away. He had rapidly become my partner in crime. So much so that we had made as many objects that we could in Noah and Jolly’s home studio upside down, simply because their reaction would be priceless.

“Yes!” Jesse exclaimed, making me laugh.

Once I had finished my coffee, the two of us set out to the shopping mall to spend way too much money, as we usually did.

Our little outing had gone excellently well until we were leaving Sephora.

A girl who looked about nineteen, bumped into me. Granted, it was completely my fault as I was so engrossed in conversation with Jesse that I didn’t see her coming at all.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” She snarled.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! It’s completely my fault, I wasn’t looking-“ I began to apologise.

“Save it. You’re Noah Sebastian’s girlfriend aren’t you?” She asked with a smirk.

Fuck.

The girl quickly took a photo of Jesse and I before walking away.

“Twitter is going to love it when I post this. Think of the cheating rumours!” She called over her shoulder with an evil smirk as she walked away.

My heart began to race.

Oh no.

Noah was away.

He would see the photos.

Oh shit he’s going to think I’ve actually cheated on him.

With his roommate and friend none the less.

Jesse didn’t say anything, but simply ushered me back to the car park and drove me home, completely ignoring the rest of the day that we had planned.

My body went into shut down.

My eyes stared in front of me.

My breathing quickened, making my chest hurt.

My heart raced.

Oh god.

I was having a panic attack.

I tried to calm myself down by playing Tetris on my phone. It usually helped take my mind off of it.

It didn’t work.

Before I knew it, I was curled up on Noah’s side of the bed with the lights off.

Jesse knew what to do if this happened since Noah had given him a brief crash course, but it wasn’t really helping.

I needed Noah.

Time flew by, or did it crawl by? I couldn’t tell.

Large hands stroked my hair. I could hear a heart beating.

Who was it?

The scent of Dior Sauvage began to fill my nostrils as I looked up and saw Noah’s angelic features looking down at me.

A lone tear escaped my eye as relief washed over me.

He was home.

“Don’t speak baby, just relax.” He whispered. “Jesse called and told me what happened. I was on my way home to see you anyway, so I don’t want you to worry about that. You’re safe. That girl’s post got deleted after Matt and Davis sassed her into deleting it.”

That made me laugh, which made Noah’s delicate smile widen.

“I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.” He whispered.

No matter what happened in my life, Noah would always be my safe space. I felt calm in his arms. I felt at peace, which was becoming rare for me.

As long as I had Noah, I would be okay.

Because he had me.

No matter what.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring

[yungistiny]

back of the net ═ chapter two

[ J. YUNHO / S. MINGI ]

chapter two: my turn

╚═════════

summary: yunho and mingi are the star football players and they have never wanted anything more then their coach’s daughter

warning: creampie, unprotected sex, size kink, public orgasm, dom yunho, dom mingi, sub reader, double penetration, bisexual mingi

pairing: yungi x afab/reader

genre: smut, romance, polyamory

word count: 5.7k

chapter one

chapter three coming soon

masterlist

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Mingi was getting agitated.

He hadn’t seen or heard from Yunho since Halloween night and that was over a day ago. He had asked Wooyoung where his roommate was and he only smirked in response. “Haven’t seen him.” He lied.

Mingi knew he’d see him today though. Yunho never missed practice and they had a big game tomorrow.

“Mingi!”

Mingi jumped at coach calling him, pulling him from his thoughts and out of the pacing he had been doing. “Yeah, coach?” He asked jogging over and just missing the ball Wooyoung kicked flying straight passed Mingi’s head.

“Nice kick, Wooyoung.” Coach praised causing Wooyoung to smirk and snicker at Mingi’s glare. “Where’s your other half at?” Coach had his arms folded across his chest, not looking at Mingi, focused on his players practicing on the field. “Practice started five minutes ago.”

“He…” Mingi was trying to rack his brain around a good enough lie because he had no idea where his best friend was at and coach was not a fan of tardiness. “He’s uhhhh…..” And then there he was. Yunho running onto the field, stopping beside them, dropping his bag.

“You’re late.” Coach didn’t spare him a glance. Yunho was breathing hard as he had ran all the way across campus after waking up late, something he never did but he had been so comfortable cuddled up with y/n, the coach’s daughter still asleep in his bed after she had returned to his dorm yesterday after disappearing long enough to get some clean clothes and shower.

*Wooyoung had laughed, amused as he lounged on his own bed. “Coach is gonna kill you.”

“Sorry, coach.” Yunho didn’t even try to come up with a lie, he was too giddy, practically bouncing on his feet like a damn puppy. “Suicide runs, around the field, ten of them. Go.” Coach left no room for excuses or argument.

Mingi watched his best friend run onto the field, smiling like an idiot the entire time he accepted his punishment. He wanted to corner him, ask him where the hell he had been? If he was doing who or what Mingi thinks he was doing.

“Mingi,” Coach snapped him out of his gaze on Yunho. “you gonna stand there all day or practice. Or do you prefer to run with your buddy?”

Fuck that! Mingi was not running no suicides no matter how much he wanted to interrogate Yunho. He’d wait until after practice.

Yunho had finished his suicide runs, covered in sweat, hair sticking to his forehead. He discarded his shirt, grabbing his water bottle from his bag and gulping the now lukewarm water down.

Mingi narrowed his eyes at Yunho, his gaze zeroing in on the dark bruised looking marks scattered on his chest, one directly on his collarbone. He was fucking someone and Mingi had an inkling suspicion on who that someone is.

His suspicions were all but confirmed when the person he had in mind made her way towards coach. Y/N had some takeout bag in her hand that Mingi couldn’t quite see as he didn’t have his glasses. She was wearing an oversized hoodie that no one else would take a second look at, a burgundy university hoodie that almost everyone at school had. It was all too familiar to Mingi though.

The small hole visible on the bottom right side of the worn hoodie where Yunho had gotten it hung and tore it on a fence in freshman year when they had been hazed into the team and found themselves climbing a fence into the backyard of coach’s house. There mission was to drain his pool. Just add that onto some of the dumb shit they have done.

Mingi’s gaze moved away from y/n who was handing the takeout bag to her dad towards his best friend who wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was shamelessly staring at her in his hoodie.

As if Yunho sensed Mingi’s eyes on him, he turned and smirked at him. Mingi gasped, his suspicions confirmed. He fucked her. He was fucking her. He was fucking her without him.

ASSHOLE!

“FUCK!” Mingi did not see the ball being kicked his way, no time to move or block it from hitting him right in the balls. He dropped to the ground, groaning, wheezing a little from the pain.

“Sorry!” Yeosang apologized, trying not to smirk. “Dude,” Wooyoung and Jongho both started laughing. “You’re a menace.”

“Yeosang, please refrain from injuring Mingi before the game.”

“Sorry coach!” Yeosang wasn’t sorry at all.

Yunho walked over, standing over Mingi who had balled himself up in the fetal position, hands holding his aching balls. “Rough day?”

“Fuck you.” Mingi glared up at him, groaning.

Y/N watched Mingi swat at Yunho’s leg, Yunho laughing at him before reaching a hand down to pull him up. Her gaze lingered on Yunho’s shirtless body and she blushed when she noticed the very visible markings she had left on him.

She had spent the better part of the last 24 hours tangled up with him.

“I swear,” her dad rolled his eyes as he shook his head at Yunho and Mingi. “If they weren’t as good of players as they are…” he trailed off with a sigh. They may be Seungcheol’s best players but they always managed to vex him.

“They’re not so bad.” Y/N remarked, her dad noticing her lingering gaze. “Don’t you dare.”

“What?” She jumped, she hadn’t realized she was still staring at Yunho. “Mingyu, him, I could deal with him.” Seungcheol pointed a finger towards Yunho and Mingi who were talking now in hushed conversation, Mingi still holding his now slightly bruised balls. “One of them…..” he shook his head. “I’d end up killing one of them.”

“Dad!” Y/N let out a guffawed laugh. Lying through her teeth as she shoved her hands into the pocket of Yunho’s hoodie. “I would never.”

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“Fuck, dude!” Mingi winced when Yunho dropped the ice pack in his lap. His balls still hurt well after practice was over. The locker room had cleared, Wooyoung was the only one left behind with them taking his time in the showers.

“You fucked her.” Mingi pouted. “You fucked her while she was dressed up as Power. You know I love Power!”

Yunho rolled his eyes not able to fight the grin on his lips. “I’m sure she can pull the costume back out just for you.” He smirked. “She could leave it on during.”

“Did…” Mingi tossed the ice pack on the bench beside him as Yunho sat down next to him. “did you ask her?”

“Actually she asked me, well, she asked if we share.” Yunho pulled a towel atop his head, drying as much of his wet head as he could. “So I told her only if she wanted us to.”

“What did she say?” Mingi would not admit that he was jealous. Jealous that Yunho got to have her first.

Mingi watched as a glazed over look crossed Yunho’s face, him biting his bottom lip to keep from grinning as he remembered that first night. How y/n had dropped to her knees for him.

“I hate you.” Mingi pouted.

“You love me.” Smirked Yunho.

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It was game night. Almost the entire university was at the stadium. The lights bright lighting up the green field. The opposing university students on the opposite side wearing a murky looking green, their mascot being a crocodile.

“It’s cold.” Karina clung to y/n, finally feeling better from the cold she had. The two girls followed Jungwoo into the stadium, y/n gripping the back of his shirt to not get separated in the mass of people still trying to get food or to their seats before the game started. They had great seats, close seats thanks to y/n being the coach’s daughter.

The November temperature had dropped drastically, puffs of white steam leaving their mouths in the night air. As soon as they got seated, Jungwoo was squished between the two girls so they could use him for warmth, not that he was complaining about having two beautiful women cuddle him.

The cheers of the crowd suddenly erupted as the teams ran out on the field. Y/N spotted Yunho and Mingi, they gripped each other’s shoulders, foreheads touching as they yelled Mingi’s quote. The *fix on could be read on their lips. “Do you think those two….” Karina trailed off as she too had been watching the twin towers.

“What?” Y/N asked not catching onto what her roommate was implying. “You know….” Karina smirked. “are together…”

“What?” Y/N furrowed her brows, surely Karina wasn’t saying what she thinks she’s saying. “Like….. sleeping together?”

“Why not?” Jungwoo quipped. “They share everything, maybe they share each other too.”

Y/N blinked, once, twice, her gaze finding Yunho and Mingi once more. The thought of them doing to each other what herself and Yunho had done, three times already, caused y/n face to heat up, blush creeping her cheeks. The image her brain conjuring up suddenly making her aroused, clenching her legs together and facing the field, puff of white smoke blowing out between her lips as she let out a breath.

This was gonna be a long game.

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Despite the cold, Mingi was covered in sweat but at least they were winning. He stood next to Yunho as they both rehydrated during a fastbreak, breaths heavy, panting. Yunho popped his neck, stretching and his gaze found the bleachers. He saw y/n with Jungwoo and Karina, smirking and waving at her. She bit her lip to keep from smiling and turned towards Karina. Yunho hadn’t seen her since yesterday and he was already missing her.

“What was that?”

“What?” Y/N turned towards her roommate, avoiding Yunho’s staring so she wouldn’t blush and make it more obvious. “That!” Karina pointed at Yunho who was still watching her while gulping down a bottle of water. “And you’re blushing! Did you sleep with him?”

“Oh! You mean they finally succeeded?” Jungwoo grinned joining Karina and giggling at y/n now red face. “What do you mean succeeded?”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “It’s no secret Yunho and Mingi have wanted you since freshman year.”

Y/N let the words sink in, looking back to the field as the game started up again. She didn’t confirm her roommate and Jungwoo’s suspicions. How had she not noticed it? Why had Yunho and Mingi never made a move before? Her and Mingyu hadn’t started officially dating until the end of freshman year, they had plenty of time.

The answer should be obvious. Her dad.

Choi Seungcheol had always been overprotective with his only daughter. His only child. It’s why it had taken Mingyu so long to finally ask her out. It’s why y/n went all of high school without having a single first date. It’s why she had to go to every single school dance with Yeosang. Going to an international high school she even had to go to prom with Yeosang.

Y/N was wondering what suddenly changed Yunho and Mingi’s minds? Was it because Mingyu was no longer in the picture? The eruption of cheers from the crowd pulled her out of her thoughts. Mingi had scored, their team leading by a landslide.

“Gonna be another undefeated season.” Jungwoo sat back down after standing up to yell with the crowd. “You two want to come with me to the after party at Outlaw Customs?”

“Last time I was at a party, DK’s ass was on fire.” Y/N snorted as said man was taking a water break from the game and laughing at Hoshi in the mascot suit. Go tigers! She wondered if his ass was ok?

“I’m in.” Karina nodded adjusting her hood on her head. “I’ve been sick and stuck in the dorm for too long! I even had to miss Halloween.”

“Sure,” y/n sniffled, her nose trying to stop up in the cold air. “need to go back to the dorm and change first.” She wanted to change out of her jean pants and sweater, suddenly wanting to mess with Yunho and Mingi. They waited four years to make a move, Mingi still yet to, and y/n decided that tonight could possibly be his turn.

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They won the game.

Of course they did.

Mingi was drying his hair after showering as coach gave the same speech he always did after they won. “I would say don’t go out and get completely fucked up but some of you…” coach gave a pointed look towards Yunho and Mingi. “never listen to a single word I say.”

“Come on, coach,” Yunho grinned. “you know we’re your best hungover players.” He joked, coach rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Celebrate but remember we have another game at the end of the week so I need you all focused.”

Mingi sat down beside Yunho, nudging his shoulder with his own. “If y/n is at the party tonight, what’s the plan?” Yunho furrowed his brows as he pulled his favorite converse on his feet. “Plan? We still need a plan?” He asked tying his shoe laces.

“What happens if she doesn’t want us to share? What happens if she just wants you?” Mingi was all serious, what if y/n did want what they wanted? What if Yunho was the only one she wanted? The only one she needed? Mingi was starting to get jealous and he had to shove the emotion deep down and ignore it.

Mingi would back off if it came to that. He’d let Yunho have her no matter how much he wanted her too. If she’s what made his best friend happy and that’s what y/n wanted. Even if Mingi had to fight that little jealousy monster everyday.

Yunho didn’t have an answer because truthfully he hadn’t thought about it. He wanted to say that he’d end it. That he’d couldn’t do that to Mingi knowing his best friend liked her just as much as himself. But he’d be lying. “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Mingi wanted to argue but they were interrupted by Wooyoung and Jongho. “If you two are riding with us, Mingi better hurry up and get dressed.” Jongho pulled his jacket on, him being their ride to the after party.

They watched Mingi rush to get dressed, dropping the towel from around his waist and almost tripping over his own feet. “Sorry” he apologized after flashing everything he had to Yeosang who had come face to face with his dick when he stood up from stumbling.

Yeosang glared at him, grabbing his bag and leaving the locker room.

He had overheard everything Mingi and Yunho had said to each other.

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Outlaw Customs was a local club just off campus where the football team’s winning games were always celebrated. Mingi was on his third shot of soju by the time he had spotted y/n. She was laughing at something Jungwoo was saying where their group sat a table in the back corner of the club just to the side of the bar. Yeosang, Karina and Minghao sat with them.

Mingi got Yunho’s attention, grabbing one last shot, tossing his head back, the liquor no longer leaving a burn down his throat. He raked his hand through his hair, readjusting his black leather jacket over the black tank top he wore, the sleeves wrinkled from being rolled up. “My turn.” He slammed the shot glass down on the bar causing Yunho to chuckle and shake his head.

“Will you look at that,” Minghao spotted Mingi first, making his way towards them. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen one without the other.” His comment caused everyone to follow his gaze, Yeosang glaring at Mingi while y/n felt her heart beat pick up. She had seen Yunho and Mingi taking shots at the bar and had started to think they were never going to notice her.

He looked good. His bleached blonde hair with the roots dark. Ripped jeans and leather jacket. Hands adorned with silver rings and nails painted black. “Y/N,” Mingi’s gaze was dark, practically devouring the sight of her in the black mini dress she wore, her thighs exposed as it rid up from where she sat beside Yeosang. “can I talk to you?”

Y/N didn’t dare look at the smirk both Minghao and Karina were giving her. She certainly didn’t meet the glare Yeosang was trying to penetrate into Mingi as if it would make the taller man disappear. Jungwoo was already too drunk to care what was going on. Yeosang wanted to stop her as she stood up but refrained. He knew it would only end with her mad at him.

Y/N had snapped at him for interrogating her on her whereabouts Halloween night and the following night after he had crashed into her speed walking down the hall of his dormitory where she clearly wasn’t there to see him, she had been in an oversized shirt that ended almost at her knees and sweats that were clearly too big for her. He tried talking to her but she said she was in a rush and avoided his incessant questions before snapping.

“I am an adult and where or who I was with is none of your business unless I want to tell you.”

Yunho lived on Yeosang floor so it didn’t take much to guess especially after he overheard Mingi and him earlier that night to realize his best friend had fell into their scheming little game. All he could do now was watch her follow Mingi. “Guess she’ll finally figure out if they share or not.” Minghao grinned into his glass of beer.

Mingi could feel Yunho’s eyes staring at them as he lead y/n into the mass of dancing people, the music loud, bass thrumming. Y/N gasped, breath hitching as Mingi spun her around, pulling her back flushed against his chest and suddenly she was remembering Yunho doing something similarly at the Halloween Party.

His hands were warm against her, the heat from him felt through the fabric of her dress. She felt herself shiver as he leaned his head down, lips grazing her ear, breath warm and scented of the soju he had been drinking. “Yunho told me you asked him a question…”

Y/N reached her hands to place atop his on her waist. “A question?”

Mingi tightened his grip on her, lips tracing down her neck. “Do you want us to share?” Mingi decided to just ask his own question. He felt it when y/n breath hitched. Felt the way she pressed back into him more. Mingi let out a deep moan at the way her ass pressed against his dick now growing hard in his pants.

“Yes.”

Her answer about sent him to his knees. His gaze caught Yunho’s hard stare from where he leaned back on his elbows against the bar, watching them. Mingi found himself grinning and Yunho smirked. She did want them both.

“But,” Y/N pulled away from him just enough to move so she could face him, hooking her hands into the waistband of his jeans and pulling herself flushed against him. She had to lean her head back to look up at him, bringing a hand up to tangle with his hair. “right now I just want you.”

Well who was Mingi to fucking deny her?

He grabbed her hand, leading her back over to where her friends were still sitting to grab her coat. “Are you leaving?” Minghao asked causing Yeosang to whip his head around from where he had been in the midst of his own head thrown back to drink a shot of soju.

“Yeah, I see you guys tomorrow.” Y/N grabbed her coat, pulling it on and around herself. “Can you drop him off at the dorms?” Minghao pushed Jungwoo’s passed out form off of his shoulder causing the drunk man to flail.

“Yeah, we’re riding with Jongho.” Mingi pulled Jungwoo up, slinging an arm around him. Y/N followed him not aware they would be riding with Jongho. If he saw her with Mingi he’d might assume she’s going back with him to fuck him. Which she was but Jongho didn’t need to know that!

Yunho noticed them moving towards Jongho and Wooyoung who were talking and drinking with Hoshi and DK. Time to go.

“Jongho, man, let’s go before you’re too drunk to drive us!” Mingi leaned Jungwoo against Wooyoung who had to wrap his arms around the barely conscious man.

“We leaving?” Yunho was there and suddenly y/n felt small, that pit in her stomach feeling as if it was on fire being between the two best friends.

Y/N felt Mingi lean over her, saying something into Yunho’s ear.

“Alright, fine,” Jongho pulled his keys from his pocket, standing up from the stool he had been sitting on. “let’s go.”

They followed Jongho out, Yunho helping Wooyoung drag Jungwoo. “Y/N” Wooyoung smirked at her as he left the drunken Jungwoo to Yunho who glared at him as he sauntered up, slinging his arm around her shoulders and pulling her away from Mingi. “just a warning, that one is a spanker.” He giggled when y/n blushed. It was no secret Wooyoung had slept with Mingi a few times back during sophomore year, a kind of friends with benefits situation before Wooyoung met his boyfriend Choi San, a pre med student he had met one night in itaewon.

“Wooyoung,” Yunho snatch him by the back of his jacket as Mingi pulled y/n back to his side. “shut up!” Yunho hissed, shoving Jungwoo back against him as they arrived at Jongho’s car. That one is a spanker. Y/N face was still red from Wooyoung’s words. She’d never been spanked during sex before. Hell she’d never been spanked at all before.

“Put him in first.” Yunho held the back door on the passenger side open so Wooyoung could sit him inside, Jungwoo’s head resting on the window, passed completely out, once the door was shut. Yunho crawled in the back through the other side, situating himself in the middle as Wooyoung plopped himself in the passenger seat up front.

“Hold on.” Mingi bent his head down as he squished himself next to Yunho, groaning when his knees started digging into the driver’s seat. “Wait,” Jongho reached down, pulling a small lever so that the seat would give a little room just enough so that Mingi wasn’t crushed. “there.”

“Come here.” Mingi patted his thigh and y/n bit her bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth. She was gonna have to sit in his lap the entire time. She decided to mess with him. Mingi let out a groan as she practically plopped her ass against him, wiggling around as if it to make herself comfortable. Was she trying to kill him? His dick was already hard, straining in his pants. He turned his head towards Yunho who was fucking snickering.

“Enough.” Mingi’s voice was stern, a bit strained, as he wrapped an arm around y/n middle, holding her in place. Y/N stilled her teasing movements, feeling her arousal grow at the tone of his voice in her ear. She started grinding her ass against him then as Jongho started the drive back to campus.

“Yunho…” Mingi spoke just high enough that his best friend could hear over Jungwoo’s snores and the music now blaring from the radio. He guided his hand that wasn’t attached to the arm wrapped around y/n towards her thigh. “I think we have a brat.”

Yunho smirked as he watched Mingi’s hand disappear between y/n thighs, thank god Wooyoung turned the radio up loud and it was dark.

Y/N let out a little gasp when she felt Mingi pause right before touching her where she wanted him to most. “Can I?” He was practically begging her and she glanced up to the front where Jongho certainly wasn’t paying any attention other then his eyes on the road and Wooyoung was too busy scrolling his phone while singing loudly to whatever song would play from the radio.

Jungwoo let out a loud snore and Wooyoung turned the music up louder.

“Please….”Now y/n was the one begging and Mingi wasted no time slipping his ring and index finger inside her panties that were already wet. “Fuck…” he growled against her neck as Yunho moved slightly to conceal Mingi’s movements from sight in case Wooyoung turned around or Jungwoo decided to wake up. “she’s already fucking soaking.”

Yunho stretched his arm to rest around Mingi’s shoulders, his hand reaching to cover y/n mouth just as a moan started to escape her as Mingi started rubbing her aching clit.

Y/N takes back what she had thought back when she had Yunho’s dick down her throat.

This was the filthiest thing she had ever done.

“Don’t put your fingers in her,” Yunho smirked whispering against Mingi’s ear as his best friend continued to rub y/n now swollen clit. “she’s a squirter.”

Mingi had to bury his face in y/n hair to muffle his moan at the information. The want to make her make a mess in the backseat of Jongho’s car oh so tempting.

Y/N was close, the familiar feeling of her orgasm approaching and when Yunho’s hand moved from covering her mouth to wrapping around her throat, she did cum, moaning muffled by the slight grip Yunho had on her. She had never been choked before and had no idea she’d like it that much.

Mingi’s arm around her tightened as she rocked against him through her orgasm just as Jongho pulled into campus. Yunho removed his hand from her throat, pulling his arm back from around Mingi as the car began to slow down in front of the dorm buildings.

Wooyoung was the first out the car when they stopped, yanking the back door open and having to grab Jungwoo before he plummeted to the ground. He jolted awake, blanching at his surroundings before calming down when noticing Wooyoung.

Yunho followed out next, stretching after being squeezed in the backseat before walking around the car to open Mingi’s door as it was difficult to maneuver with y/n still coming down in his lap. “Come on.” Yunho reached inside to help y/n out, pulling her against him and taking the opportunity when Wooyoung turned his nosy back to them, helping Jungwoo inside their dorm building, to steal a kiss from y/n before Mingi took her away for the night.

Y/N gripped at Yunho’s jacket, kissing him back, biting his bottom lip lightly causing him to moan as Mingi emerged out of the car.

“I’m gonna go park.” Jongho announced from the drivers window he had rolled down, not paying them any attention. Yunho pulled away from the kiss first, allowing Mingi to intertwine his ringed hand with y/n, pulling her towards him as Jongho drove off.

Y/N followed behind Yunho, gripping Mingi’s hand as they walked inside the same exact dorm building she had been with just Yunho not a couple nights before. Was this really happening? Was she really about to have sex with both of them?

The answer was no.

Yunho whispered something in Mingi’s ear before turning to look at y/n, hand gently grabbing her chin and leaning down to kiss her one more time. “He’s gonna fucking ruin you, baby.”

Y/N was left speechless as she watched Yunho disappear up the stairs to the third floor where his dorm room was located. “This way.” Mingi tugged her hand gently to follow him down a hall on the first floor to where his and Mark Lee’s own dorm room was. Thank god Mark was out for the night, probably somewhere with Yuta.

As soon as they were both inside the dorm, Mingi shutting and locking the door behind him, y/n found herself pinned against the same door, Mingi’s hands holding her own against the door behind her, kissing her, nipping at her bottom lip and slipping his tongue inside to tangle with her own, pushing her coat off as he did, the material slipping down her arms and dropping to the floor.

“Mingi…” y/n gasped, breathless as he started sucking at a spot on her neck. “Can I eat your pussy?” He had just fingered her in a car with his friends present, unbeknownst to them of course, and he was still asking permission? Y/N probably would have swooned if she weren’t so needy and horny at the moment. “You can do whatever you want…” she moaned as he licked at the mark he had made on her neck.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

Mingi dropped to his knees so fast at her answer that it took y/ n a moment to realize he was no longer towering over her. His hands pushed her dress up, burying his face against her, nose nudging her clit still behind her soaked panties.

Then he was looking up at her, slowly pulling her panties down her legs, never breaking his eye contact with her. Even as he helped her take off her shoes he didn’t look away from her.

The eye contact finally broke after Mingi hitched her up, draping her right leg over his shoulders and diving his tongue straight into her. Y/N moaned, one hand gripping the locked doorknob and the other tangling into his hair, gripping tightly and pulling when he sucked her clit into his mouth.

“Fuck…. please…..” she had no idea what she were blabbering about, blindly rocking her hips against him, Mingi flattening his tongue against her to let her fuck herself on his tongue before pulling back, looking up at her and smirking. “ Yunho said you’re a squirter….”

“FUCK!” A moaning scream left y/n when two of Mingi’s fingers thrusted into her easily from how wet and ready she was, stretching her and her walls clenching around them. “I want you to squirt for me, baby….” Mingi brought his mouth back to her, growling into her. “I want to see too.”

One suck, two licks and a moan from Mingi against her clit and y/n was gushing all over his face that seemed to only make Mingi moan and fuck her faster with his fingers, her juices spraying him, dripping and leaking all over him. He was fucking drowning in her and he needed more.

“Mingi…. I can’t….” She was growing overstimulated and Mingi pulled back, dropping her leg from his shoulder and towering over her once again, kissing her and loving the way she moaned tasting herself on his tongue.

Y/N would have dropped to her knees next, took him in her mouth, see how far he could go but it seemed Mingi had a different idea. He moved her over towards his bed, his black sheets would be ruined. “I’m gonna take this off.” He helped her out of her dress, chunking the material to land on Mark’s bed.

Once she was fully naked Mingi made quick work of his own clothes and Y/N suspicions were confirmed. He was just as big as Yunho, a bit less girth but a tad bit longer. Her eyes watched him stroke himself a few times before he went rummaging around in a drawer in the small table beside his bed. He was searching for a condom.

“Wait.” Y/N stopped him, Mingi turning to arch a brow at her, thinking perhaps she had changed her mind. “I’m on the pill.” She repeated the same words she had said to Yunho and Mingi felt his dick twitch. Holy shit! Was she telling him to fuck her raw? Did she let Yunho? Well she certainly didn’t have to tell Mingi twice. He slammed the table drawer back shut and moved back towards her.

After Mingi took a moment to nuzzle, nip at and mark her breast, y/n found herself atop his bed, on her knees, ass up and elbows digging into the mattress as Mingi lined himself up behind her. “Fuck!” She jumped, flinched and pressed forward when Mingi licked his hand before slapping her ass, one cheek and then the other, the skin turning a slight shade of red.

“just a warning, that one is a spanker.”

Mingi gripped a hand on each side of her ass, gripping and kneading before returning them back to her hips. “You ready to take me?” He glided a hand down her back, up her spine and then back down to her hips. “Yeah you are.”

He pushed his length fully inside her, stretching her and filling her. A guttural moan from deep within his chest erupted from him as he allowed her perfectly tight walls to relax around him before he pulled almost all the way out and slamming back into her.

Then he was fucking her, y/n face burying into the sheets, her hands gripping the fabric tightly. “Look at you…. you’re creaming on me….” Mingi almost came at the sight of the white milky arousal wrapped around his dick as it plunged deeper into her finding that spot, the perfect little wall of sponge deep deep inside her that had her a whimpering, moaning and crying mess.

It was the way he was rolling his hips, hands gripping her own hips tightly, pulling her back against him, helping her meet him thrust for thrust. Y/N felt her legs shaking, the scream erupting from her muffled in the sheets as she came.

“Shit…” Mingi slammed into her only a couple more thrusts before he came inside her, cum mixing with her own, their juices practically leaking out of her when Mingi pulled out.

Y/N was a shaking, overstimulated mess as Mingi kneeled behind her, lapping his tongue at their mixture, tongue darting inside her once again.

He was thankful Mark was going to be gone all night because Mingi was far from done with her.

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tag list: @straycat420 @vtyb23 @saintriots @minkysmilk @gigikubolong29 @midnightrebel1028 @whyismingi @atzlordz

[beetlesau]

Its Light Still Shines

Chapter 2 - 1.2k

(Chapter 1 here)

haters will say Shadow wasn't even in this chapter. sorry

The grass beneath me is soft. I've never felt anything like it in all my memories. I smell the earth, fresh and beautiful.

I don't know where I teleported away to.

An old abandoned cabin sits before me, and a running stream-turned-river sits not far from it. I can hear its flowing water and the small fish that splash its surface now and then. Morning is breaking just over the horizon, and pink and orange paint the sky as I approach the worn building.

"Hello?" I call out, but no one has been here in a long, long time.

I knocked on the door before opening it in case someone or something was waiting inside. I didn't expect how sturdy and tough the door would be. The outside looked like old wooden logs but resonated like a metal crate. When my knuckles made contact, a small, pin-sized light met my gaze and scanned my retina.

"Welcome, Experiment L2S-03xx. to SafeZone 12." A static voice chimed in the door, which swung open automatically. Dust and dirt accumulated around the crevasses, which were knocked loose and found their way to my throat. I coughed, covering my face, and tried to disperse the debris with my free hand.

I entered, and to my surprise, I found it looked like a cozy cabin you'd book for a vacation. It was an open floor concept, with a bed on the far left wall, a bathroom ahead of me, a kitchen, and a small dinette to the right. The decor was simple and a bit antique. A frilly duvet on the bed caught my gaze. I rolled my eyes when I realized I could even recognize such small details about something I'd never seen in my real life before—sudden thoughts of watching interior decorating on TV flashed in my mind's eye.

I groaned. I had other problems besides the clashing curtains in the dinette not matching the plates stacked on the shelves above the sink. Namely what the AI system called me.

"L2S? What? What was it you called me?" I asked aloud.

"That is your experiment identification code," it stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"Where am I?"

"This is isolated SafeZone 12 erected by Professor Robotnik, Gerald."

"When was this last time he was here?"

"57 years, 8 months, 21 days. Would you like the question answered to the nearest second?"

"No! No, thank you. Do I have a name?"

"You were not assigned a name, only your experiment identification code."

"What is Shadows experiment code or whatever, then?"

"S2L-02xy - or Project Shadow."

I removed my jacket, shuffled over to the bed, and plopped onto the surprisingly soft mattress, caressing little angels into the plush comforter. "Bummer. How come he got a name, and I didn't?" I was speaking to myself now, but the system took it upon itself to answer anyway.  

"Records indicate you were an preliminary project that was not completed under the supervision of the Professor."

"Yeah, yeah. So what is my purpose?"

"Error. Purpose Obsolete."

"Ouch okay, what was my purpose?"

"You are a culmination of the residuals left over from Project Shadow, chaos emeralds, and the restructured DNA of the deceased Maria Robotnik. Your purpose was to serve as replacement parts for an incurable disease within Maria Robotnik. However, key parts of the experiment did not occur due to the ARK's destruction. Your consciousness was triggered and stages of your development were altered by the government organization known as GUN."

"You're kidding me."

"I do not understand; please rephrase."

I wept quietly to myself.

I was never meant to awaken. My purpose was never as divided from Maria as Shadow. If GUN hadn't intervened, there would be no me.

But then Maria may still be alive otherwise.

Did I even deserve to be alive instead?

I pulled one of the pillows close and buried my face into it.

All these memories of her kindness. Her beauty. I have them because she died.

It's too much for me.

I screw my eyes shut, hoping I can lock my tears away, but I can't. They come and soak through everything. The pounding in my head kicks up again. Before long, I cried myself to sleep at the thought of her and all she was. All that I can only hope to be for myself.

Being in stasis and actually sleeping are worlds apart. When I wake, my mind settles, and I better regulate my emotions. It's once again dark outside, and in the night, I see a flashing light coming from the dinette table. I pull myself up, groggy, and shuffle over to check it out.

"What is this?" I ask the system.

"There is an electronic pulse similar to that of the Professor's work in a quadrant of Japan that has recently appeared. Would you like to take a look?"

"Show me." Anything to do with the Professor now could only mean something involving Shadow.

The system flashes, and a small hologram feed floats just at eye level. It shows security footage of a pier in Japan, likely hacked into by Robotniks tech, which is still advanced all these years later. My skin prickles as I watch an immense mechanical crab surface from the water.

I've seen this before, but Shadow isn't there. Not yet. He's going to find the Professor, not the Doctor.

"Can you keep tabs on that crab from here?"

"I can mark it as an object of interest, of course. Would you like to be notified when it relocates?"

"Oh. Uh, I don't plan on staying here much longer, I'm leaving once I figure out where Shadow is."

"I have an electronic bracer in the refrigerator that can be used as a notification hub when you're away from SafeZone 12."

"The refrigerator?"

"It is the red box behind you and to your left, it typically holds items to keep them cool and fresher for longer than if they were left out at room tem--"

Okay! Thank you, that's not really what I meant when I-- you know what? Nevermind. Thank you. I'll be sure to grab that before I go."

"You are welcome, L2S-03xx."

"Could you call me something else?" I grumbled.

"I can reassign your name, yes. What would you prefer?"

I took a moment to think it over. I wasn't stuck to one thing. I could change my name as much as I wanted; it wasn't like I had one. And I wasn't really Maria; keeping hers didn't feel right. Though I could, as an homage. I didn't think this would be that hard, but a name might be a big deal.

"I don't actually know... I guess I should just shorten my experiment name for now. Call me L. I'm sure I can come up with something better later. Maybe." If I couldn't stop Shadow from what was to come, it wouldn't matter if I'd had a name.

I felt drained all over again. Although I've been alone all this time, I was never lonely—not when they occupied my mind. But now I felt the weight of things.

I'd never had Shadow. I was nothing to him, but I would fight for him.

I couldn't be his Maria; I must be something else. I would reach him.

"Its Light still shines."

[imawreck]

Darkness

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You're left with flushed cheeks and a shared secret with the darkest part of Bucky Barnes... and you want more.

Author's Note: You guys fucking DEVOURED the last one so this is the sequel to the previous part, His. It makes more sense if you read the other first! If you like this content, drop a comment or an ask and I'll be sure to write more like it in the future! It gets a little feral and I won't apologize for it. Also, there is possibly a part three on the table if this ship sails like the last.

Warnings: Choking kink, metal arm kink, Cursing, mentions self loathing/guilt (it’s Bucky, kinda normal), Possessive!Winter Soldier, hair pulling, fingering, Dominant!Winter Soldier, hickeys, bruising, PnV, praise kink if you squint, licking, oral (fem receiving), knife play (?) and probably some more but those are the big ones.

Word Count: 6,899

It had been two days.

Two days since you’d tried and failed to lure the Winter Soldier into a cell. Two days since you’d felt his hands on your body.

Two days since he’d given you a taste of what you could have.

He’d left his mark on more than just your skin. Though bruises and love bites littered your neck, it was your mind that he’d left the most impact on.

There was hardly a moment you weren’t thinking about him, about Winter. About what would’ve happened if the agents hadn’t stormed the stairwell. If he’d been able to keep going.

And you wondered if you’d ever get another chance to see.

Bucky had recovered, his mind once more his own. You didn’t know if he remembered, or if he would say anything to you even if he did. It’d been radio silence from everyone in the tower other than Steve, who’d been checking in on you to make sure you were really alright. You were sure Thor would be here hounding you if he was on the planet too.

Apparently, the earpiece had fallen out a little after he’d cornered you. So Steve and whoever else that was watching over you didn’t hear much of the conversation you’d exchanged with the assassin. They’d had to rely on the cameras, which hadn’t been able to see you past the wall of a man caging you between his arms.

Which means none of them had seen what had happened, that this was something only you carried the knowledge of. A small part of you was relieved.

That still left one question unanswered: Did Bucky remember?

A sharp knock jolted you from your thoughts, dragging you back to the present. 

Blowing out a breath, you got up and headed towards the door. “Steve, I told you I’m fine. I—“

But when you opened the door, it wasn’t Steve on the other side.

It was strange how different those blue eyes were when it was Bucky at the wheel instead of Winter. Lively, pooling with emotion where you’d seen cold calculation and unbridled lust just days before.

It was guilt swimming in those eyes now, red rimmed and bloodshot. His dark hair was disheveled like he’d been running his fingers through it all afternoon, and he wore a loose pair of sweats and a black long sleeve despite the summer heat.

He looked scared and out of place standing in the hall.

“I—uh, hey.” A poor attempted smile wobbled onto his face, and he brought his flesh hand up to run through his hair—a nervous habit he had when he was uncomfortable or anxious — just like you’d guessed. “Can we talk?”

You opened your mouth to answer him but no words left it. You could only stare up at him and nod, feet shuffling back to pull the door open further.

Bucky’s frame squeezed through the door and he padded further into your space with wandering eyes and furrowed brows.

It was impossible not to notice the changes you’d made in the last few months since your breakup. Bucky used to frequently stay with you, favoring your bright and comforting space over his own empty room. You liked your knick-knacks, and you were a sucker for creature comforts so you always had the softest blankets and the fluffiest pillows. And you’d always made sure Bucky had things he liked in your space.

You used to keep his favorite coffee stocked in the mini breakfast bar you’d made on a bar cart, and his favorite pillow and throw blanket was always neatly folded in the armchair by the window. You’d even set out copies of his favorite books in case he wanted to relax in your room instead of the commons area or his own space. 

But now it was gone. The little pieces of him you’d made room for were removed along with the photos that used to line your walls and bookcase. Save for the one, of course.

And it stung to see the reality of what he’d done, the choice he’d made now reflected in the absence of everything he’d built with you. 

He pried his eyes away from the empty shelves of your bookcase and glanced back at you, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “I… Steve said that I went after you when I got back.”

His statement hung in the air for a few seconds, silence crowding you both and making him tense his shoulders the longer it remained. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, “I can’t imagine how awful that was for you. I-I never wanted you to see me like that. That- He’s not me, okay? God, I’m so sorry.” His fingers scraped over his scalp as he clenched his teeth, turning away and pacing a few steps.

Bucky couldn’t look at you, not after what he’d done. What he’d forced you to witness. He’d never wanted you to see him like that. It was one of his worst nightmares when you had been dating, and now it was a brutal reality.

“Bucky,” you started, but he cut you off.

“Did I hurt you? Did… did I do something to you?”

It struck you then that he didn’t remember what he’d done. What Winter had done. And your room was too dark at the moment to see what remained painted on your skin from the encounter.

You were both relieved, and utterly frustrated. Now what do you do? ‘Oh yeah, Bucky! I let you finger me with your metal arm in a stairwell for shits and giggles while you were all killer mode. No biggie.’ And then what, ask for him to do it again?

Yeah, definitely not.

“You didn’t hurt me, Bucky.” Your legs moved on their own accord, drawn forward by his obvious distress and the instinctual need to sooth his worries. “I’m fine, really.”

Bucky finally turned to face you, his eyes filled with sorrow. He chewed his cheek, his eyes searching your face for any hint of a lie. “I can't remember what happened, there's just glimpses.” His voice lowered, softened by the weight of his words and the fear woven in his tone. “But I can feel him. Stronger than before. Something’s different this time.”

You stilled at that, eyes glued to the side of his face. 

“I can feel what he felt. I-it's like he’s just behind a curtain.” His right arm came up, his index finger tapping his temple, “Waiting.”

The haunted look in his eyes twisted a knife of guilt in your gut. You didn’t want him to feel guilty for what had happened, but it was unfortunately normal for Bucky. You understood it, respected his boundaries and his need to do anything he could to keep you safe. But you wanted exactly what he was keeping from you.

You wanted it so badly.

Could you tell him? Could you confide in him this secret you’d kept from lovers in the past? Something so twisted that you’d only shared it with someone equally as sadistic as you were flawed? Bucky was so much more important to you than any of them had been. You… you felt deeply for him. And it was obvious that the unknown was weighing on him heavily.

One more look at his shattered expression gave you your answer.

With a frustrated huff, you reached for his hand. You tugged it from where it’d curled itself into his hair again, and led him to the edge of your bed. “Bucky,” you started, keeping your voice as gentle as you could. “I need to tell you something. It’s going to be hard to understand, and you’ll probably think very differently of me, but I think it might lessen the burden I can see you’re putting on yourself.”

Bucky’s eyes fixed on you. Those brows furrowed over confused and tortured eyes, but it was obvious that he would listen.

You bit your lip, beginning to sweat as the nerves rattled through you. “First of all, I… I haven’t told anyone this. It’s not something I’m proud of, but rather something that just is. And it didn’t start with you. I mean—,” you let out a sound of frustration, “Fuck, I mean I didn’t date you because of it. It just sort of grew more complicated as we got closer.”

Those brows furrowed more and twisted his face into more concern than anything.

You kept going. “When you came after me, I was scared. Of course I would be.” You winced at the hurt that flashed in his eyes, but continued on, “But I also… I liked it.” 

A shaky, bitter laugh left you. “I liked the chase. I liked it when he cornered me against the wall, when he—,” you paused, a feeling akin to resignation and begrudging acceptance settling into your bones. Your eyes found his metal hand, gazing at the light bouncing off the silver metal. “When he choked me with that hand.”

You buried your face in your palms, tears of shame threatening to leak from your eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. He didn’t hurt me, Bucky. He just brought to light these things I thought I’d kept from you.” 

With another breath, one that felt like needles sinking into your lungs, you went on. “He made me feel good, Buck, in all the ways I’d always hoped you would someday. I feel like the worst person in the world for thinking that, for feeling the way I do, but I can’t help it.”

You couldn’t meet his eyes. Shame was writhing in your stomach and threatening to consume you. Tears pricked your eyes and wet your palms that still remained pressed to your face. 

Bucky didn’t say a word, and you just let the silence thicken the air. You’d already said everything there was to say.

Your sin was bared for his judgment. “I get that you don’t want to be with me anymore—“

“That’s a lie.”

Your head snapped up at that, teary eyes wide as you took in his surprised expression. An expression you watched morph into confusion, and then something else. Realization, maybe.

Bucky went on, “I never wanted to stop being with you, Y/N.”

A piece of you settled deep in your soul at that confession, and you leaned in to listen. Every word from his lips an answer to the question haunting your every thought for the past three months.

“On that mission, we came across intel that there might be a mole in the tower and that they were going to try and trigger the Winter Soldier. I… I was scared, Y/N.” Grief washed over his face as he folded his hands together, knuckles turning white. “I was so scared that you’d see me like that and be afraid of me. I was terrified of hurting you, of— of killing you, that I had to make it look like you didn’t matter to me. I had to make it real, so that whoever saw you and I would think you didn’t matter and leave you alone. I was trying to make you less of a target.”

Your heart thundered in your chest at his confession, at the thought that these past two months of utter disaster had been the result of Bucky trying to protect you from himself. 

“You could’ve talked to me,” you muttered, sniffing and wiping your face in a poor attempt to rid it of the mascara you knew had run. “You could’ve told me what was going on.”

Bucky’s head shook, “There wasn’t time. You have to understand.”

You nodded, even if you didn’t truly understand. The guilt and remorse on his face told you he was on the edge of crumbling, and if agreeing with him kept him from breaking, you’d give it to him.

Another long silence blanketed the two of you. You watched his face, his eyes, as his mind mulled over the information you had exchanged with him.

Those blue eyes found your’s after a while, something steely in them that wasn’t there before. “Friday?”

The AI of Stark Tower answered politely, “Yes, Mr. Barnes?”

“Initiate Soldier Protocol in Y/N’s room and cut camera feed. Don’t alert anyone.”

Soldier Protocol. 

Your eyes widened, and a chill ran over your skin. Soldier Protocol was something Bucky had come up with when you’d first started dating. It was a safety protocol installed into yours and his own room to ensure that if the Winter Soldier was triggered, it would keep whoever was in the room safe, or keep whoever was trying to get inside from entering. It was a double edged sword, really, because if you were trapped in the room with him, then you couldn’t get out. Bucky had made sure to teach you some basic self defense moves on the very slim chance that would ever happen and had shown you ways that you could use to evade and make an escape to the bathroom if needed. Even though you’d thought of all the holes in the protocol, you couldn’t bear to voice them if it helped ease Bucky’s nerves knowing that if something were to happen, that you’d have an extra wall to keep him from getting to you.

“Confirm Command; Soldier Protocol, Miss Y/N?”

You hesitated, voice wavering just the slightest as you whispered, “Are you sure?”

Bucky nodded slowly, giving you the confidence you needed to answer the AI.

“Confirm Soldier Protocol, Friday. No alerts or cameras.”

The calming voice answered once more. “Command Confirmed. Soldier Protocol initiated.”

Your eyes followed the windows as metal safety doors shut out the dim light of the day. One after another they locked out the outside world and left the two of you inside the confines of your bedroom. 

You and Bucky, and your confessions.

“He wants out, Y/N.” It was barely a whisper, but the low timbre of Bucky’s voice reverberated in your bones. “He wants you.”

There was concern laced in his words, but there was also more. So much more that you knew you’d have to talk about later. You’d have time to unpack all of this, what it means for the two of you, later. Right now?

Right now you needed Winter as desperately as you needed air.

“What… How can I help you, Bucky?” Your hands shook at the thought of Winter's return. Of what it would bring.

Bucky pulled his lip between his teeth, his hands running through his hair before twisting themselves in his lap. His eyes were wide, as if he didn’t quite believe he would say the words spilling from his own mouth. “I want you to trigger the Winter Soldier. Feeling him there— it’s driving me mad. An-and now that we know he won’t hurt you and that you… you want him—.”

You reached for his hand, concerned that if he kept squeezing them as tight as he was that he’d break bone. “Bucky, it’s okay.” You tilted your head, smiling softly at him, “Take a breath. There’s a few things I want to set straight before we jump into this.”

His voice lowered, “Okay.”

Bucky was obviously torn up over this whole thing. And as excited as you were to repeat what went on in that stairwell, this was someone you cared about for more than just sex. 

This was Bucky. 

This was the man who’d apologized with the biggest bouquet of flowers you’d ever laid eyes on the day after your first encounter with Winter. The same man who’d apologized for months after with cute little notes and trinkets he knew you loved and still kept in that shoebox under your bed. The exact same man you’d opened your heart to one Saturday night over a tub of butterscotch ice cream and the third playthrough of your favorite movie. He didn’t complain that you’d watched it back to back either.

This was the man you’d fallen in love with in just a few short months.

The realization settled into your heart, and that warm tingly feeling swept over you as you tightened your hold on his flesh hand and reached for his metal one too.

Bucky hesitated, jerking it away for a moment before allowing you to tug it into your lap. “Buck,” you started, thumbs swiping over his hands in slow calming paths. “It isn’t just the Winter Soldier I like about you. You know that, right? Because if you don’t, I’ve failed as your lover. And as your friend.” 

Those blue eyes darted between your own, searching there like a man searching for salvation. You gave his hands another squeeze, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I… I love you, Bucky. You. I think I’ve known for a while now. I was just too scared to admit it out loud. I haven’t had the best run with guys in the past, and you’re so good that I was afraid I’d ruin you somehow.”

Your eyes fell to your joined hands, and this time he was the one to squeeze back.

“I know it’s kind of shitty timing, but I need you to understand that I’m not with you for any other reason other than the simple fact that I adore you, Bucky Barnes. Everything about you.” You shook your head, frowning. “I meant it when I told you I wasn’t with you just because of Winter. I’ve always had this attraction to… well, you know. Dating you just made it more difficult to hide when you were obviously so uncomfortable with it. I didn’t want to make things hard for you. I just wanted you to be happy.”

“Doll,” he mumbled, the name drawing your eyes to him. You’d always loved it when he called you that. “Say it again.”

You frowned, confused for a moment, before a small smile drew itself onto your face. “I love you, Bucky.”

A choked sound fell from his lips before his arms circled around your waist and pulled you into his lap, his face inches from yours. “Again. Say it again,” he begged, his  breath fanned over your face as his fingers fisted the back of your shirt. “Please, doll, say it again.”

You folded your legs around his hips, threading your fingers into his hair and peppering kisses on his face. “I love you.”

“Me?” It was the most broken sound you’d ever heard.

You grabbed his face, tilting it up to look at you and tried your best to pour every ounce of love into your expression. “You, James. I love you. I’ll say it a billion times if I have to until I get it through that ridiculously handsome head of yours.”

He laughed at that, broken as it sounded. “I love you too, Y/N. God, I fucking love you.”

Soft lips crashed into yours, dancing a familiar dance as his flesh hand slipped under your shirt and glided up your spine. Your breath caught as the cool sensation of his metal fingers followed after it, his arm wrapping around your back. You smiled against his lips, leaning into him more.

You nearly pouted when he pulled away.

“Y/N,” those eyes, less uncertain and more determined now, swept over your face. “I want you to trigger him.”

You frowned, “But Bucky, you—.”

“I need this.” His voice was surprisingly steady, “I need to do this otherwise it’ll drive me mad. Feeling him there— Jesus, it’s like someone’s scraping a knife against my skull.”

Metal fingers drew circles against your back, “Are you okay with… with seeing him again? I’m not confident enough to do what he did yet. I need more time to come to terms with the damage this hand has done.” He pulled the appendage away, looking it over before his eyes found you again. “But I… I can tell he won’t hurt you. I can feel it,” he pulled his flesh hand away and pressed it over his heart. “Right here.”

He laughed, almost incredulously. “Even the Winter Soldier has fallen in love with you.”

All you could hear was the pounding of your heart in your ears. He wanted you to trigger the Winter Soldier. He said that he loved you, and that Winter did too. 

It would really fucking suck if you were dreaming.

“I don’t know your words,” you mumbled, suddenly shy in the light of his proclamation.

This time, the smile he gave was one that reminded you of those old photos from the 40s you’d seen in the history museum. The one where the left side crooks up a bit more than the right. He didn’t release you, but instead wrapped his left arm around your hips and leaned back to rifle through the top drawer of your nightstand for the notepad you always left in there.

He pulled it back to himself and released you only long enough to scribble down a few words and tear off the page. “You’ll have to memorize them. I don’t want them to leave this room.”

You nodded, because of course he wouldn’t and you’d rather swallow hot coals than ever betray him. Your eyes scanned the page a dozen times when he handed it to you, lips moving in silence as you played with the foreign vowels. 

All the while those strong hands of his trailed along your back and hips, sometimes exploring your upper thigh. 

It made your mind foggy, and you had to keep yourself from squinting to focus.

After you’d finally memorized them, you remove yourself from Bucky’s lap and padded over to your bookcase. You snagged the candle lighter from a shelf, and then removed the bag from your trash bin. It took a few tries, but once the lighter ignited, you let the flames eat away at the page before dropping it into the bin and watching until it was nothing but ash at the bottom.

You could hear a breath of relief leave the soldier from where he remained seated at the edge of your bed. He looked somewhat relaxed, but a tension still ran along his shoulders.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You returned to the bed, smiling a bit as his arms wrapped around the back of your thighs.

Bucky hummed, low and steady. “M’sure, Doll.” He leaned his head against your stomach, and your hands found his hair on instinct.

He hummed again at the touch, and his arms tightened around your legs before he lifted you. Bucky turned quickly, one knee coming up onto the bed before he laid you down with a thump on the mattress.

You smiled, laughing a little as you bounced from the sudden drop. Bucky grinned back, his eyes shining. “Missed you, you know. I’m sorry for not telling you.” He leaned over you, hands planting on either side of your head. Nothing but honesty shined in those blue eyes as he looked down at you. “I’m sorry for wasting three months, and I promise I won’t do that again.”

Butterflies stirred in your belly, and you could feel the flush of heat on your neck as you leaned up and planted a kiss on his lips, “Better not.” 

Before you could think much of it, Bucky reached over and flicked the lamp on. You were too busy feeling fuzzy inside that you’d forgotten the very prominent marks littering the delicate flesh of your neck.

Marks that would always make Bucky drown in guilt.

“Fuck, doll.” 

He stared at your neck, horror painting his face in the lamplight. His body lifted until he was sitting on his knees over you, hands resting on his lap like he didn’t know what to do with them as he took in the damage he’d left.

This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. “Hey, no—,” you gripped the front of his shirt, the sudden motion catching him off guard as you pulled yourself up to his face, forcing him to look you in the eyes. You would’ve liked to yank him back over you, but you lacked the ability to battle his serum-enhanced strength. Sitting up did just fine.

“You don’t get to feel guilty for this. Not now, and not anytime after this if you… if we’re serious about doing this.” You stared him down, unwilling to allow him even a glance away. “I told you, I liked it. I told you that it didn’t hurt. You need to trust me as much as I trust you in this. That’s the only way this,” you motioned between you both, “is going to work.” You lowered your voice, nearly mumbling the last part. “I can’t take another step back, Buck. Not after three months, and definitely not after that.”

Bucky’s eyes danced between yours for a few moments. They darted down to your marred skin and back again several times before he blew out a breath and nodded reluctantly. 

Your shoulders eased too. 

“Now come back here and kiss me, soldier. Your girl’s in need.” You smiled, quirking a playful brow in an attempt to draw him back in.

It worked. That smile pulled at his lips, small at first but quickly blooming as you began peppering his jaw with kisses.

The kisses started gentle and exploring, and the touches soft and sweet. You hadn’t felt his skin against yours for three long months, save for two days ago, and you’d missed everything that made him Bucky.

You’d missed how the stubble of his chin brushed your cheeks when you kissed, and how he held your face like you were the most precious thing he’d ever touched. Delicate and worthy of worship.

You’d missed him so much it hurt.

“Bucky,” you panted, tugging his shirt as you kissed him. “I love you.”

A deep, rumbling groan left him, and his tongue swept across your bottom lip. “I love you, Y/N. So damn much.”

His flesh hand cupped the back of your neck and guided your head to the side so he could place the tenderest kisses over each hickey Winter had left. “He’s a brute,” Bucky mumbled against the column of your throat, stealing your breath. “If he hurts you–.”

“He won’t, James.” You pressed your forehead to his shoulder, biting your lip as his flesh hand trailed all the way from your neck to the base of your spine. “I know it.”

You only got a hum in response before his lips crashed into yours again. Bucky’s hands were everywhere, confident and warm on one side and tentative and gentle with the other, much colder one. The contrast sent delicious tingles along your skin wherever he touched and only served to heighten your anticipation.

This was the first time Bucky himself had allowed so much of a brush of his metal arm against you, let alone tender touch.

His palms mapped every dip and crest of your body, his touch growing more needy with each sweep of his skin against yours. His tongue slid over your lips again, a silent request that you were all too happy to accept.

You couldn’t help the satisfied sound that escaped you as the taste of him swept over you, familiar and strong. Things only hastened from there. It was like a switch had flipped and he couldn’t bear not to have his hands on you.

He kissed you hard, chasing you with lips and tongue like a man starved. The feather light touches of his hands turned more firm as he held your hips and pulled you closer. Bucky’s chest heaved, his breaths fanning over you between kisses in hot puffs.

You could tell he was still holding back. That he needed this as much as the burning need in your core told you that you did. “Bucky,” the sound was practically a whine, “Please.”

His fingers curled against your hips, “Fuck. Okay, okay.” Wet kisses were trailed down your neck as his hands slipped beneath your shirt to sweep calloused thumbs over your aching nipples. “Say them, doll. Say the words.”

You deserved a fucking gold metal for succeeding to pull your mind out of the fog he’d clouded your brain with. It always happened with him. Your mind just short circuited every time he cast you a heated glance, and this? Well, it was a miracle you could remember your own name.

You opened your mouth, the words you’d memorized tumbling out one after another. 

“Longing.” Bucky grunted, but didn’t stop in his ministrations as you spoke the next. 

“Rusted.” Another grunt, and a tremor through his shoulders, but his lips never left your skin. In fact, it just seemed to spur him further as his hands tugged your shirt down to reveal the delicate skin of your breasts.

“Furn-,” you gasped as his lips locked onto a nipple, tongue teasing expertly over the nub. “Furnace.”

The hum he released sent skittering tingles across your body in the most delicious way.

“Finish, baby.” 

Fucking hell. What was the next word?

“Daybreak,” his hands lowered to your ass and held it firmly against him as he licked and sucked the sensitive skin of your breasts, never missing a beat. “Seventeen.”

Those devilish hands dragged lower, fingers trailing along the seam of your panties through your leggings and along the underside of your thighs where they met the curve of your ass. Inches from where you needed him most.

You could barely suck in a breath, utterly overwhelmed by the sensation of his mouth on your skin and those hands mapping your body in agonizingly slow strokes that sent waves of need straight to your core. “Benign,” his body arched over yours, easing you into the mattress, “Nine.”

Another shudder this time, and you could see the ripple of muscle beneath that tight black shirt. God did you want it off of him.

“Homecoming.” 

A groan, and a shake of his head. It was the first indicator that he was uncomfortable.

 You hesitated at the pained sound, but you didn’t have time to ask a thing though. Not when his head snapped up and those wide, wild blue eyes found yours. “Don’t stop,” he panted, cheeks flushed.

So you didn’t.

“One.”

Wet lips trailed kisses down the exposed skin of your stomach, the tips of his dark hair trailing down as he kissed past your naval and kept going. Lower, lower, lower…

“Freight Car.” The words sounded strangled in your throat through your labored breathing.

The kisses stopped abruptly, and Bucky’s body went stock still.

You weren’t even sure he was breathing until the even rush of an exhale swept against your stomach.

And then he chuckled.

 It wasn’t the kind you’d normally hear from Bucky. It wasn’t filled with joy, or playfulness. This one sounded depraved and downright corrupt.

The hairs on your neck raised, and that sharp bite of panic jolted through you as you stared down at his large frame hovering over you. You couldn’t see his face from this angle, and the lack of any hint of what was going through his head only heightened the tension building in your body.

“Told you, didn’t I?” His voice was a rumble in the silence, and you gasped when his tongue swept a path up the center of your belly. “You fucking need me.”

Cold fingers hooked the waistband of your leggings and shucked them off in one quick motion, the cool air assaulting your exposed skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. You simply stared up at him and tried to remember to breathe beneath the weight of his eyes on your body.

Those cold, lust-lidded eyes.

“Winter,” you breathed, a thrum of excitement mingling with the nerves tingling under your skin. The ache you felt was at the forefront of your mind. Bucky’s gentle touches had served to stir the need that was already brewing.

Now, Winter has come to finish the job.

He smiled, slow and sultry. “Needy little thing, aren't you, Dollface?”

You bit your lip as heat crept up your neck.

Winter’s body rose to his knees, his hands curling around your thighs in a bruising grip and lifting them over his shoulders. You yelped, but it didn’t stop him. Those thick corded forearms locked your legs in place over his shoulders, his face centimeters from your core and the stubble of his jaw tickling your thighs.

You were almost certain you'd soaked through the thin pair of panties you wore.

His hands dragged up your thighs, fingers slipping beneath the fabric at your hips as he held your eyes. 

And then he ripped them at the seams. The puny fabric fell to the mattress in tatters, and all you could do was gawk at him.

“Don’t wear those when you’re with me.” Winter ordered against your thigh, his tongue swiping a path up the inner stripe of skin. 

The action sent another wave of want through you, the anticipation of what he was going to do serving to build your nerves higher and higher.

He drew you closer by your hips, humming against your skin. The sweep of hot air over you was a welcome sensation and you arched into it. Your heart pounded, and the angle in which your body was held, your head still resting against the mattress along with your shoulders, made it hard to think. 

Winter stopped just short of brushing his lips over your sensitive clit. You could’ve cried right then and there. Blinking up at him, you caught the wicked grin plastered on his face.

The soldier above you looked downright god-like bathed in the dim light of the room. His eyes gleamed, and that silver arm danced with every move he made. Every devious stroke of cool fingers against your body.

You knew this exact image would be carved into your mind for the rest of your life.

“Beg for it,” he ordered, his grip turning nearly bruising. “Tell me how badly you want it.” His lips brushed your core, just a whisper of scruff on your sensitive skin. 

You squirmed in response, chasing the feeling. Normally, you would rather die than beg a man for anything. But Winter? He had a special way of breaking you down. “Please, Winter, please. I-I want you. I want you to–.”

He didn’t even let you finish before his tongue delved into your core. 

You felt every sweep, every brush of that expert muscle laving over you. Desperate, needy sounds were echoing through your room, and a part of you knew they were yours. That they were spilling from your parted lips in broken sentences begging him for more. You were too focused on where his tongue toyed with you to care about anything else, though. Every pass of his tongue on your clit, or a sweep against your clenching walls made it harder and harder to ground yourself.

You were crawling closer and closer to the edge.

Your fingers were curled into the bedspread, and your hips ground into his face and bucked against the solid grip of his arms over your thighs. Winter groaned into your heat, the rumbling vibrations pushing you closer to euphoria.

Dazed, you tried to focus on his face, tried to make out his features in your love-drunk state. 

Winter's eyes were closed, and his face never came up once for air. Not even when you could feel his chest shuttering, and those muffled grunts became more frequent.

And God did they feel good.

Your chest heaved, your legs trying and failing to move an inch against his iron grip. As those vibrating groans shoved you over the edge with a cry.

Your brain couldn’t focus, not with all the blood rushing through your head and the thundering sound of your own heart in your ears, or the blissful sensation of release crashing over you in waves. 

“So dirty, Dollface. Letting me ruin you like this.” Winter eased his grip on your shaky legs, his hands dragging up your thighs to grip your hips. “Letting me brand you, taste you…” He licked his lips, tasting you on his stubbled face. His body leaned forward, your legs parting around his hips as he planted a burning kiss to your lips, “Fucking perfect.”

You panted, blinking to focus on his words as you came back to yourself.

Winter was lifting himself off of you, his eyes raking over your disheveled form as he slipped off the bed and stood to his full height. Those blue eyes held nothing but burning desire, muscles flexing as he yanked off his shirt and rewarded you with the view of his sweat slicked torso. 

The sight was erotic. His hair damp with sweat, and his face glossy with the remnants of your release, chest heaving as he sucked in much needed air.

Winter reached forward, his cool fingers wrapping around your ankle and tugging you towards the edge of the bed with a wicked grin. “Gonna make you come again, Dollface. Need to hear those pretty sounds you make.” His flesh hand grabbed your calf, pulling you closer. “Wanna hear my name on your lips again, and again, and again.”

His metal fingers gripped your thigh hard enough to leave bruises, but that didn’t bother you. You loved the reminders that littered your skin from the last time Winter branded you with his affections, and you relished each one that would follow. 

With a quick, strong motion, he flipped you on your stomach. Your chest bounced against the bedsheets, the friction against your pebbled nipples sent a jolt of pleasure down to your toes making you moan into the comforter as he brought your hips up and adjusted your knees against the bed.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He panted, pressing himself against your ass.

You could feel him through the sweats still hanging from his hips. The length of him pressed firmly against you, brushing your sensitive core and making you groan again. You wanted to feel him, needed to know what it was like to be with Winter the same way you craved intimacy with his counterpart.

“Please,” You begged. 

With a grunt, the sweats were yanked down and he thrust harshly, seating himself completely in one swift motion.

His moan rumbles through you, setting your nerves alight. “Oh god…”

And then he starts moving. 

One stark difference between James Buchanan Barnes and The Winter Soldier, was that one was gentle and kind, and everything you’d want in the man you’d take home to meet your parents. And the other? The other was the kind of man that would carve his name into your skin with a smile and defile you in unspeakable ways, rough and raw.

Winter snapped his hips at a breakneck pace, pulling out only to plunge back in with a force that made you see stars. Your mouth hung open in a silent scream, clinging to the sheets as he drove you into the mattress. His cock hit all the right places, those quick, constant motions driving you closer and closer to another release. His grunts and puffs of breath only added momentum.

Tears pricked your eyes, your heart hammering and your skin on fire as pleasure coursed through you, building higher and higher.

A cold palm slipped along your belly, snaking its way between your breasts and firmly wrapping around your neck, squeezing those delicate pressure points that made your head spin. He lifted you from the mattress, his pace halting almost completely as your back met his heaving chest. 

Winter’s raw voice met your ears as you whimpered at the loss of friction, teetering on the edge of sanity as your core wept for attention. “Gonna cum if I keep that up, Dollface.” His voice is choppy, puffs of air hitting the side of your neck as he talks. “Feel so fuckin’ good.”

His dick pushes in again, dragging slowly along your walls as he groans in your ear, your own voice joining him in a broken harmony. “‘M gonna need this every time. Need to feel your tight cunt, hear your pretty cries…” His tongue darted out to slide over your cheek, swiping up a tear that had fallen from your damp lashes, “Taste you every. Single. Time.”

Those hips snapped back into their brutal pace, slamming against your ass as he clutched your frail neck in his metal hand, the other coming up to grip your hair and tug your head back as he sucked more love bites along your neck.

You moan, tears of pleasure falling from your lashes as you near the edge. Winter’s grunts and shaky breath vaguely registering that he’s nearly there himself.

He sinks his teeth into the juncture of your neck, the combination of pain and utter pleasure shoving you over the precipice as you open your mouth in a scream. That metal hand snakes up to stifle it as his hips jerk a few more agonizing thrusts before shuddering with his strangled moan.

You’re left limp and breathless, utterly spent and draped over his arm with your head lolling against his strong and heaving shoulder.

Winter slips from you, repositioning you on the bed like an offering on an unholy altar. With his hair plastered against his forehead, those dark strands utterly soaked with sweat, he smiles down at you.

“Again.”

Tags<3

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[antinousletmehit]

hi! 👋 can you pretty please write more polities x reader? He’s adorable and I would love to see more polities x reader fanfic stories maybe of him getting home and after he helps ody with the suitor problem, he runs straight to his wife, reader, who has also been waiting for him and he get done onto his knees and hugs her sobbing 😭 almost ugly crying on how sorry he is that he was gone for so long and beg for forgiveness

Or maybe of polities gets turned into a pig by Circe because he ate food with the crew even though he is a sweetheart and reader starts fawning over his adorable pig form with glasses and red bandanna

sorry so many cute short stories ideas involving polites and other characters from epic love your writing though 😍

୨୧┇pairing: Polites x reader

୨୧┇I don’t get enough requests for him ngl

────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ──── ───

After twenty long years, he was finally home.

He dropped his sword, the clang echoing in the silent hall, and turned to Odysseus. “My king, with your leave…” Odysseus, though weary, gave him a knowing nod. “Go to her, Polites.”

Polites didn’t need to be told twice. He bolted from the hall, his heart pounding as he ran through the familiar streets of Ithaca. The village had changed in some ways, new faces, new buildings, but his feet knew the way. They carried him to the small cottage on the outskirts of town, the one he had built with his own hands before the war.

The moment he saw the warm glow of firelight through the window, his breath hitched. You were inside. You were there.

He pushed open the door, his voice breaking as he called out, “Y/N?”

You turned from where you stood near the hearth, and the world seemed to stop. Your eyes widened, your hand flying to your mouth as you took him in. disheveled, bruised, and teary eyed, but alive. “Polites,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He didn’t trust himself to speak. He crossed the room in a heartbeat, dropping to his knees in front of you. His arms wrapped around your waist as he buried his face against you, his shoulders shaking with sobs. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out, his voice muffled. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You froze for a moment, stunned, before your hands came up to thread through his hair. “Polites…”

“I didn’t mean to leave you for so long,” he cried, clinging to you like a drowning man clings to a lifeline. “I didn’t mean to—gods, I thought I’d never see you again. I thought…I thought you’d have moved on, and I wouldn’t have blamed you. I—”

“Polites,” you interrupted gently, pulling back just enough to tilt his tear streaked face up to yours. “Stop. You’re home. That’s all that matters.”

“But I left you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I left you alone for twenty years. How can you forgive me for that?” Tears welled in your eyes as you knelt down, cupping his face in your hands. “You didn’t leave by choice. You went to war to protect our home, our people. And you came back to me. That’s all I ever hoped for.”

His lip quivered as he stared at you, his brown eyes filled with so much love and regret that it nearly broke your heart. “I don’t deserve you.”You smiled softly, brushing a tear from his cheek. “You’re wrong. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Polites.”

A shaky laugh escaped him, and he leaned forward to press his forehead against yours. “I love you,” he whispered. “More than anything. More than words can say.”

“I love you too,” you murmured, your own tears falling freely now.

For a long moment, the two of you simply held each other, the weight of twenty years melting away in the warmth of your embrace. Polites vowed then and there to spend the rest of his life making up for the time you’d lost, cherishing you with every breath he had left.

[sammyluvr]

✶ the object of his affections — sam winchester

cw : gn!reader, sunshine!reader, fluff, lawyer!sam, talk of feeling unloved, unedited, 1K words. requested ! for my 900 followers event [ closed ] .

prompt : in the patch of sunlight cast through a window + “you’re loved.” “but how do you know?” “because i love you.”

you’re not yourself today, that much is apparent to sam as you stand at the window, bathed in early evening sunlight. most days, the soft light on your face would make you smile. you’d look out at the hills and grin at the sight, even if you see them most days. and somehow, your face would become ever brighter when you hear his dress shoes clacking against the marble on the third floor of the courthouse and turn to see that it’s him.

he’s glad to see that you perk up just a bit at the sight of him still. he likes the way your eyes look when they catch the sunlight for a moment as you turn. they look a little sad, maybe run down, today. he’d like to fix that, though he’ll have to pry it out of you somehow. sam has a feeling that quiet you is the complete opposite of your normal talkative self, and it won’t be easy to get you to tell him what’s bothering you.

if only a love confession could lift your spirits; he’s been working up the courage as he’s gotten to know you. he’s a young lawyer, but a skilled one, and you’re working your way up, interning here for the semester. you’re professional when needed, but outside of that you’re sweet and nerdy and always happy to talk his ear off.

right now, your face is missing that bubbly smile he so loves to see, though he can’t deny that your subtler, softer one is quite pretty too. another day, you might bound up to him with news of something from earlier in the day. this time, you let him approach you the whole way, eyes staring back outside by the time he’s leaning against the windowsill. the fabric of his smart, well fitting black blazer brushes against your light blue button up. a little closer, and his shoulder would be pressed right into yours.

“something special out the window today?” he asks, mostly teasing and voice quiet to match your mood. there’s something special standing at the window, that’s for sure. you are very special to him. all four hands resting on the ledge are cast in shadow from the way the sun hangs in the sky, but your faces are lit. he’s not even looking out the window to see what you might be peering at so intently; his eyes are on you. your nose looks pretty in this lighting, he thinks. all of you looks just lovely.

“no,” you murmur, the word almost leaving your lips as a sigh, “nothing special.” your voice falls a little flat, almost as if you’re a bit upset that there isn’t anything special, or maybe that you can’t seem to find anything that feels that way right now.

will it cheer you up if he tells you he’s pretty confident he’s going to win his case? you always seem so happy for him when he succeeds in even the smallest of things. but he frets that you’ll just feel like you have to act glad for his sake, so he thinks he won’t say anything about it until he’s sure you’re feeling better.

his pinky is so close to yours. he wants to touch you, be as near to you as he can, all the time. silence reigns for a few long moments. most people have left the building for the day by now.

“can i tell you something sort of pathetic?” you ask quietly, almost out of the blue if he hadn’t caught the sound of you breathing in before you spoke. he likes the sound of you breathing in. out, too.

“you can tell me anything. i’m sure it’s not pathetic,” he murmurs. the look on your face tells him that you still think that it is.

it takes you another moment or two to feel composed and unashamed enough to actually let it out of your mouth. it’s very soft when you say it, nearly drowned out by the sound of footsteps down the hall. it’s not late enough that everyone’s gone. but sam leans in close, and he has a certain affinity for your voice. his ears tend to filter out all else when you speak.

“i’m having a bit of trouble feeling loved,” you whisper. his heart aches. you’re the most loveable person he knows. but everyone feels that way sometimes, he supposes, including you. he thinks you deserve to never feel that way, though, out of everyone that he knows. “i- i know i am, but i… i’m having a hard time feeling like it right now.” 

besides the pang in his chest, he feels honored you’d tell him something so vulnerable and intimate. “that’s alright,” he says, very gentle. “knowing isn’t the same as feeling, and it’s not your fault if you’re having trouble feeling it.” he knows that sometimes all you need is to hear it from someone else. sometimes you need a reminder from someone other than yourself. so, he tells you, “you’re loved.” he sounds very confident and sure of it. he leans over, the side of his head pressing against the cold glass as he tries to meet your eyes.

those words wash over you, and he’s right that you need to hear them, but you’re still sort of unconvinced. “but how do you know?” you ask, avoiding eye contact. you feel a bit ashamed to ask it, but you’re still in need of reassurance. you expect him to give it through compliments; he knows because you’re nice, you’re pleasant to be around, you’re smart. “because i love you,” he says instead, and frankly it gives you quite the little shock. you finally meet his gaze and there’s no doubt that he really, really means it. the way he looks at you fixes it all. there’s no second guessing whether or not you feel loved in this moment, because his face tells you that he loves with all that he has, and you are the object of his affections.

[queen-penelope-of-ithaca]

I wrote WYFILWMA from my own perspective, it might be a tad repetitive and advice would be appreciated, but here's my little short 'story' of sorts :)

And there he was.

There is nothing in the room, nothing in the palace, nothing in the world other than him and I in this moment. It must've only been a minute since he'd left for war. Maybe he was coming back to grab his bow.

In that instant, twenty years of pain- two decades of sorrow and longing- faded quicker than I could blink.

"Is it you?"

He looked up. Those eyes. Gods, those love-filled eyes. They hadn't aged a day.

"Have my prayers been answered? Is it really you standing there?"

It couldn't be. My mind- my heart- my very essence- had paused in true and utter disbeleif.

"Or am I dreaming once more?"

That must be it. I had dreamt of our reunion for nearly twenty years. I must be within one of those bittersweet reveries.

But no. Something was different.

"You look different- your eyes look tired. Your frame is lighter, your smile torn,"

His face softens, holding a gentleness only a man who knew true cruelty could express.

This was no dream.

"Is it really you, my love?"

He sighed. Such a simple, gentle sound- but that soft sigh, that small exhale, my entire being had yearned for small little things like that for longer than I bothered to remember.

"I am not the man you fell in love with,"

But he was- the same honey-like eyes. The same soft brown hair I used to run my fingers through. His hair was longer now- tousled and salt-blown from years on the sea.

"I am not the man you once adored,"

Once adored? What was he talking about? There was not a minute of my day, waking or resting, where I had not yearned for this man. There was no 'once adored'.

"I am not your kind and gentle husband,"

And yet, yet, his voice was ever so soft. He turned. He avoided my gaze. This man, my husband, avoiding my gaze. I'd never seen such an action from him, in all my time.

"And I am not the love you knew before,"

This bastard. I wait for him, wait for his arrival, I hold out on sheer hope and faith that he will return to me one day- and when he does, he dares tell me that he is no longer my love? It was all I could do to keep from scoffing aloud.

"Would you fall in love with me again?"

And there it was. He believes- he thinks, in that ever-so-quick mind of his- that I had ever even considered moving on from him. My eyes narrowed momentarily, but I remained silent.

"If you knew all I've done?"

My head tilted. What did he mean? What, upon this gods-forsaken earth, could possibly sway my devotion for this man?

"The things I cannot change- would you love me all the same?

I know that you've been waiting- waiting for love,"

I sighed. Maybe he truly had done something I might find reprehensible. No matter how much doubt weighed in my stomach, the question made its way out of my lips.

"What kinds of things did you do?"

He looked back up at me. His eyes, his soft eyes, held so much sorrow. Shame was eating at him from the inside out.

"Left a trail of red on every island-

Traded friends like objects I could use,"

Ah. So that was the fate of his fleet. For a moment, I considered how Ctimene might react- but, my sister-in-law was my lowest concern in this moment.

"Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands- and all of that was to bring me back to you,"

I knew it. Nothing he had done could waver my adoration, my steadfast affections- he was dumb to think so.

"So tell me, would you fall in love with me again? If you knew all I've done-"

I knew what he'd done. Or some shortened version of it- and nothing in my heart had changed. Staring into the face of love himself, I could never care this way for another.

"The things I can't undo- I am not the man you knew- I know that you've been waiting, waiting-"

He knew nothing of my wait, if he truly believed I could possibly deny him, or his loving embrace. It had been near impossible not to wrap my arms around him the moment he entered the room. But-

Patience was a virtue I had much of.

"If that's true- could you do me a favor, just a moment of labor-"

If he held such an idiotic belief, such as that I might no longer wish to love him- I would ask him a question of equal stupidity.

"That would bring me some peace.

See that wedding bed? Could you carry it over- lift it high on your shoulders- and take it far away from here!"

I watched the change in his face. The hurt. The anger. The complete shock. Good. He knew some of how I had felt when he questioned my vow of lifelong devotion.

"How could you say this? I had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat,"

I know. I know that. And I had waited twenty years with unfaltering hope for his return- I knew what that blood and sweat devotion felt like.

"Carved it into the olive tree where we first met! A symbol of our love, everlasting-"

He was so close to the point- but he managed to miss it each time. God, this man. Prodigy of Athena, huh?

I guess it never stopped me from loving him, did it?

"Do you realize WHAT YOU HAVE ASKED ME?"

I didn't react to his tone. He was upset- a man torn by war and sea, a man who had fought tooth and nail to return home to me and our son. And yet, he beleived I'd dare deny him the love that I, too, craved so deeply.

"The only way to move it is to cut it FROM ITS ROOTS!"

Finally, at long last, he had reached my point.

"Only my husband knew that, SO I GUESS THAT MAKES HIM YOU!"

He appeared taken aback- his anger rapidly dissipated, replaced by that characteristic softness I was so fond of.

"....Penelope...."

Gods, how I had longed to hear my name from him, just once more. The nights I'd spent crying to Aphrodite to return my love to me, just so I can hear him speak, just so I can hear his voice, just one more time- all of that was granted, every sleepless prayer, every offering I'd burnt in desperation- my decades-long sorrow ended in this moment.

"I will fall in love with you, over and over again- I don't care how, where, when- no matter how long it's been, you're MINE,"

He stepped closer. I could see the little nick-scars on his face- marks that I was certain hadn't been present twenty years prior. Marks that made him look so ethereal, so unreal, so divine.

"Don't tell me you're not the same person- you're always my husband, and I've been waiting-"

And oh, how long I had waited. How many days had I stared at the beaches of my island, hoping I might see the speck of a ship on the horizon, or walking my palace halls just hoping to hear his joy-filled laughter lighting up the halls again.

"Waiting-"

Tears pool in his eyes. I knew they were flowing from mine just as freely. I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Penelope-"

This day, this holy day, every single crevasse and crack that had dug its way into my heart over the past two decades sealed itself closed, healed with the very words leaving the man's lips.

"Waiting, waiting-"

He had said something. I couldn't hear him over my own wails of what felt like all-consuming, disbelieving joy.

"Waiting, waiting, waiting-

Oh, for you,"

His arms wrapped around me. Those arms, so strong and worn. He hid his tears in my shoulder as I wept openly, holding him as close to me as I could manage, as if I feared he might be whisked away with a moment's notice.

"How long has it been?"

I finally managed to croak the question to him. It felt like no time in the world had passed. Maybe we were still young and in love, maybe I'd just awoken from a nightmare and he was comforting me so softly.

"Twenty years,"

It didn't matter. Not a moment of my life had been spent without his presence. I would never, never leave this man. Not in my life, nor in my death. I would hold him in his sickest days, tolerate him at his most temperamental, hold him as he sobbed- just as I had all those years ago. Nothing- not one ounce of my love- had seeped away.

"I love you,"

Odysseus, Reigning King of Ithaca, Father of the brave prince Telemachus, General of the Trojan war, protégé of the wise and bold goddess Athena, Slayer of the Kalydonian Boar- he was all of those things, yes- but at this moment, he was my husband.