#how it would affect the general con-going experience

[diagnosedaskiwi]

ooooouuughhh applying to booth at a con.......... pondering................ yearning..............

[saytrrose]

A post that Freakshow Au + Sm-Baby Fans NEED TO HEAR. READ IT.

—————

I cannot stand the people on tumblr in Mushys comments accusing her of so many horrible things. People have been stating that Mushy has been drawing “non-con” and supporting “abuse”. I will not go into too much detail on how it is affecting her and why but it is incredibly overwhelming for her, and she is not comfortable posting for the time being- and you people are making it hard for her to enjoy it anymore.

Mushy is portraying the au and characters how they would canonly work and that does not make her a bad person. The large amount of people trying to say that she has been drawing non-con of the late absolutely SICKENS me. You clearly do not have any understanding for that terminology and should not be throwing it around. Maybe if people paid attention to the au, the lore and how they are characterized you would come to the conclusion that NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN THE FREAKSHOW AU.

If you need a reminder of the definition, The TADC Freakshow Au is an Au where a horrible virus infects the Ai and twists their reality into a horror mindscape. THIS IS NOT CAINE OR ABLES FAULT. Caine and Able ARE AI. They are corrupted by the virus unwillingly and what Able puts Pomni through in the Able-Owned Pomni Au is yes, considered psychological abuse. HOWEVER why in gods name would you assume she supports that shit? Do you people just assume whenever someone draws a death scene they support murder?? or when someone depicts a scene of an animal getting hurt in a fanfic or movie that director/writer supports animal abuse?? Does that seriously go through your head?

EVERYONE in the Freakshow au in under some sort of psychological abuse- HELL in the original show they are. Like did you even watch it? And back to Freakshow, it’s a HORROR AU. People are killed left and right and no one seems to have a problem with that hm? THIS IS FICTION. PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FICTION AND REALITY BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO NOT DO SO YOU HURT PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. Not the people producing fictional content, YOU.

People are quite literally, harassing Mushy right now and it is heartbreaking to see my friend experience this. If you do not like certain content that Mushy creates, BLOCK her or BLOCK her tags. People asking for her to tag her art with “abuse” makes her highly uncomfortable. If you do not like this, simply take responsibility for your own viewing and stop interacting.

People need to stop assuming that Mushy is also not trying to find comfort in drawing certain topics. You people need to stop assuming that Mushy lives some sort of cheery happy go lucky life. She experiences a lot, she is going through A LOT right now and you people dog piling these accusations onto her is not only just disrespectful as a person in general, but as her follower. It is truly just disappointing to see just how rude people can be when they are supposed to be your biggest supporters.

A tag MIGHT be arranged, something as simple as “Able-Owned Au” and if this is done then block it. It is that easy. It is so so easy and simple to take initiative for yourself and what you see and how you feel about it by limiting it on your own end than going out of your way to make someone feel horrible about themselves.

Mushys blog is HER blog. She can draw whatever she would like to and if anyone has an issue with this you can very kindly, FUCK OFF. The block button exists, use it. The block tags method exists, use it.

Stop harassing creators.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

Can't believe I gotta do this, but okay...strap on in guys because this isn't only a rant, but informational. Gonna show you how to clock AI writing, why it's bad, how to abuse AI for writing, and how to prove something was written using a chat bot.

Have you ever read a fic and had to pause for a moment? Contemplate a few things? You almost feel like a few times you just couldn't figure out. Or perhaps you saw something that just read super awkwardly.

If this describe you reading some fics, then you might've fallen victim to "AI Writers". Yes, that's correct! A writer who uses AI to help them write their fics. Mind you most people when using this method actually use chatbots! So it's not like they just run into ChatGPT, give it a prompt, and then post it. Oh no. They RP it, maybe clean it up a little so it reads more like a fic, and then they post it.

If any of you are use to RPing with Chatbots like Janitor.ai, or even C.ai, then you might occasionally read a fic and realize it's strikingly familiar to chat you read in your own chats. I, for one, dabble in RPing with bots when I get bored, which is how now and days I can read a fic, see certain lines, and just know.

Now I'm certain I don't need to sit here and explain why this is so bad. However, I'll explain anyways if you'd like to hear my opinion, as well as many other artists and writers:

AI is Plagiarism!

Ya, this is plagiarism. How do you think it's generating responses? Or for artwork, where do you think it's grabbing the images from. It doesn't do it itself. AI is basically giving a program information so it can generate things. A lot of programs that uses AI, as well as websites, uses that written information to generate your responses. You know Google Docs? Ya, it can take information from your writing there. Archive of Our Own? Bingo. Tumblr? Ya, it takes writing from here as well. That means the people who have spent a lot of time on their writing, spending years honing their craft, are having their writing styles and voices stolen from AI in order to make those generated responses. Now when it's just you RPing something, pop off. It's just you and your bot. Share it with a few friends, sure! If you post it online though, those words are a mashup of millions of stories written and posted online. So it's plagiarism. Plain and simple.

2. It sets you back as a writer

Ever wondered why some people can write the most amazing things ever? It's because they wrote. They learned. They practiced. It took time and effort in order to build up those skills. They got there by writing. So how is using AI affecting your writing? Easy, you're not writing. At least...not a lot. If you use a chatbot to write half the things in a fic, you're only doing half the work. You're also bouncing off the idea from your bot and going with it, instead of using your writer brain to figure out how this scene would best be executed. Imagine it like this. Someone uses AI to draw an image for themselves. Then they trace over it, add a few of their own touches, and color it the best they can. Did they suddenly learn how to draw? No. Because they didn't take the time to learn why something is placed like this, how the composition works, etc. Same thing with writing. If you're using AI to do all the work then you aren't learning, and you're not going to be getting better as a writer. If that's the case...why are you writing? It should be a fun experience to write, after all. It should be something you want to get better at. So why are you just having AI do it? Attention? You realize your fics need to be pretty well written to garner attention, right? That brings me to my third point.

3. We can tell...and it's not fun to read

Today a friend showed me an paragraph from a fic he found here on tumblr. I saw it. Without even having to ask I knew it was written by AI. Nobody talks like that except a robot. The wording? Repetitive for AI to use. "Their bond grew with every passing moment." | "Their shared connection." | "His voice was barely above a whisper." | "It was a testament to their relationship." | "He's determined to face this challenge with her, hand in hand, and to make the most out of the second chance he's been given." | "A renewed sense of purpose." | "He's determined to face this challenge with her" If I see these lines, I clock it as Janitor in a heartbeat. Sure, not every time it's used is AI, but those are the most common things I see in every RP with a bot, and I actively need to correct the bots or else they'll use it in every fucking reply. Another thing is...RPs read differently from a fic. They're not made to be read like a narrative story. It's a bot replying to someone, so when you do that things get weird. Not to mention sometimes clothes appear and disappear, a position is changed, etc. It's just not good writing...

4. It's lazy

Simple as that. It's fucking lazy to get AI to write a fic. Trust me, I am one lazy motherfucker. I hate doing things. I want to sleep for literally a solid week. However I made the decision to write things, so I write them. I put in the effort. Other writers who don't use AI? They put in the effort. I know at least 20 people who are depressed as all hell, can barely get out of bed unless it's to go to work, who decided to still write. Not everyone is going to be a fast writer. Not everyone is going to find writing easy. If you're going to commit, though, commit to it. Write it. Don't use AI.

With these points being made, I'm sure you can see why in the writer community, it's frowned upon to use AI as well as bots for your writing...especially when you don't disclose it. I could probably put everything aside if you just said it was written using AI. Honesty is the best policy.

People might not want to read it then, but at least they know that you used AI. At least you admitted to it. Using AI and then passing it off as completely original is disgusting.

So you clocked something as AI written. You’re pretty freaking sure this was written with a Chatbot. So you plug it into an AI checker and what? No AI detected? No fucking way.

Yes fucking way.

The detectors use a range of things like: Language Model Comparison, Repetitive phrases and structures, contextual awareness, among a few other things. Now look at the "Language Model" part. What if a Chatbot doesn't have the most common language models? It doesn't detect it as easily, that's what.

Where does that leave Chatbots? Well, it means it’s not really checking for things like Janitor or C.ai. A lot of times it flies under the radar because of this. I have found that there is at least one site that doesn’t do this. Instead of more or less checks the context of the text to see if it was written using AI, rather than relying on ai models.

Quillbot

This is what I use to check. I also did run it through some tests. Mind you, not every program is going to be completely accurate. This just happens to, after thorough testing, be the best at being able to tell if a chatbot was used.

As you can see here, the one on the far left is a fic that I ran through that was my own writing. In the middle I had copy/pasted my own responses, and my bot responses from Janitor. On the far right I pasted only Janitor responses. While it’s not accurate, it could still detect human written from a chat bot!

In comparison to me running it through other AI Detection softwares (one of them being Grammarly), where they detected nothing in the post that were written by both me, and the bot.

The entire reason I’m even making this post is because I happened to come across a fic that seemed like it was written using AI, so I was curious and ran it through. Mind you, the detection software only lets you paste 1,200 words of the writing, so this was just a snippet. The same size snippets that I had put for all of my own tests. This was the result:

So we can make a good guess that this was…probably written by AI. If you’re wondering, no. This isn’t a call out post. I won’t be stating the user who I did this. I ask you not to speculate in the notes of this post either. I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama, because honestly the writing community for this fandom already has that.

I will say, to the writers who are using AI, I’m not the only person who will probably get curious. If you’re going to use AI for your writing, at least state it in the description. It’s manipulative and wrong to not state it.

I know I said AI is bad, but it's also like Thanos. It's inevitable. I fully think we should abuse the hell out of it and make it our bitch. Now how to do that without using it to actually write? Easy.

Force it to give us ideas. Once upon a time I wanted to do some writing, but couldn't think of anything I wanted to write. Sure there's prompt lists out there, but a lot of them didn't fit what I needed. So I grabbed ChatGPT by it's lil grimy throat. I whispered in it's ears "Write me some prompts."

I then took said prompts to jog some ideas in my head, then wrote my own original content. I used AI to help give me a basic idea for my writing and then came up with my own stories. That's a simple way of doing it.

I know people who will RP with a janitor bot because they have a plot in mind for a story, but are uncertain with how they'd want to execute it. So they RP with a bot first, and then once they have an idea, they write a fic based off their RP. They don’t take what the bot said, copy/paste it, then say it’s their fic. They use it as a tool to help them with their ideas. Sometimes if the bot has a really good line, they might take that singular line from it as well. That’s not taking the entire story, it’s just a line that they knew would flow with the fic, and half the time they edit the line as well.

You can also use it for story titles. Can’t come up with a title? Tell ChatGPT the synopsis of your story and then ask it to generate 10 titles for it (actually I just tried to this see the results and am currently laughing my ass off, maybe don't do this).

Don’t forget things like Grammarly. That’s also AI! You can use it to check your grammar and fix awkward wording in your writing.

There’s ways a writer can use AI as a tool. In my opinion, it’s no different from an artist using the symmetry tool for their art. Or using a 3D model to help them make a pose for a drawing in their program. It’s a tool that should be used to help and improve your own content.

[lutewife]

Alastor relationship headcanons

gn!reader, hinted acearo spec Alastor, mention of one-sided radiostatic, who knows how many words

Warnings: mostly fluff, I don't think so

Notes: Whew it took me way too much time, but here it is! My first even headcanons! Hope you enjoy it, my darlings!

Platonic:

(I imagine it is after some time or after a certain bond is established between the two of you. Because let's be real, Alastor wouldn't act like that with just anyone.)

Alastor is... Well he certainly is.

To be frank though, I would say he is a generally good friend and a very useful one to boot.

People fear him and that means if you are seen as his friend, let's just say not many demons dare to get on your nerves (unless they are especially stupid).

If they do, just go to Alastor for help. He will deal with it, he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty from time to time. He won't always like it, though, so try not to overdo it.

Prepare yourself to pay him back too. He doesn't demand it, but if you buy him a nice whisky and invite him to dance with you as a thank you, you'll earn a lot of brownie points.

Having a powerful overlord as a friend has its cons though: people just won't leave you alone, especially his fans. If you like the attention: good for you. If you don't: then just deal with them accordingly. Your public image may change for the worse, but who cares, it's hell anyway.

Hanging out with Alastor is usually very chill, though it doesn't happen often, he's a busy man. He likes going out on a walk just as much as he likes visiting a fancy club or restaurant. I wouldn't recommend going to one with him, though. He has... Very questionable taste. If you have a very questionable taste too, then congratulations, you won't give a fuck either way.

Also he's such a gossiper, you can't tell me otherwise. If you're friends with Rosie too, prepare yourself to be drawn into the gossip circle. Soon you'll know every detail about the latest tea.

If it's your turn to choose a place, then just don't go to a cinema, and you'll be good. Unless they are playing black-and-white films, then he will somewhat survive and maybe even have a little fun. Just no modern technology, grandpa Alastor will have a stroke otherwise.

If we're talking about watching something, he fancies going to the theater. Bring him there and you'll get an unforgettable experience. He will be commenting on almost everything that is happening, to the point when you'll need to shut him up, unless you want to be kicked out (this man doesn't know how to whisper or is purposely irritating everyone, I swear).

When he really likes you, he might show you his collection of retro radios and other various antiques. Only if you're interested, though, he doesn't want to bore you.

Now onto physical touch, he isn't a big fan overall. But if you're good friends he won't mind a hug or little touches here and there. He also likes dancing with you. Usually he's leading, so it's not that big of a deal to him. He enjoys the little displays of affection, if you enjoy them too.

To sum everything up: he tries, even if he is a serial killer and a horrible person overall, but we don't talk about that. But either way you get some kind of protection, and hey! Just take it, because hell is not a nice place.

Romantic:

Now onto the good part! Alastor generally isn't a person who is interested in romance, but maybe if you were a special exception... He would catch feelings!

I imagine he won't confess first, he isn't someone who initiates something like that. So you would need to pull yourself together and do it yourself. At first he would be hesitating, though ultimately he will reciprocate. And boom! You're dating Radio Demon just like that.

Many people would be jealous, I imagine he received lots of confessions before, so by being his s/o, you'll get yourself a good amount of enemies (for example Vox you can't tell me, he doesn't have a thing for him).

But don't worry about it, Alastor, trying to be a good partner, will take care of any difficulties.

Actually, I don't think he would even want to announce your relationship publicly, though he won't protest if you wanted to tell your friends. And don't be surprised that when you tell Mimzy, the information would be already known worldwide.

I think dating Alastor wouldn't even differ that much from being close friends at first, but after some time he would slowly ease into doing new things with you.

Like he will come to really like your kisses! His favourite would probably be a kiss on the forehead. He wouldn't really kiss you himself, though. An exception is a kiss on your hand, because he really likes being a gentleman.

He would be a gentleman in other ways too! Like opening the door for you or pulling out your chair for you. Doesn't matter if you're a woman or not, he will treat you with respect either way.

His love language is giving/receiving gifts and quality time! Nothing beats spending time with you, even if you're just sitting in silence. He loves giving you flowers! They are usually wilted, and maybe not really on the pretty side... (More like dangerous). But I mean it's the thought that matters. If you buy him a new addition to his radio collection, he will gladly accept, too! He feels very valued when showered with gifts.

Dates with him will be really enjoyable. They won't differ much from when you were hanging out, but I imagine he would try to be even more fancy. And he will actually think before bringing you to a restaurant, which doesn't suit your tastes.

Alastor would gladly use pet names for you. Darling, sweetheart, love, you got it all! It's all natural for him.

When talking to you, he would use an entirely different tone, sweeter and softer. Yes, he has a soft spot for you, better make use of it!

Your relationship will be progressing slowly, but it doesn't mean he loves you any less. It's just hard for him to be romantic and intimate.

After some time, you will just act like an old married couple mindlessly in love. Your relationship is just like that, comfortable and content. Kissing, holding hands, just pure wholesomeness, which is ironic for such a sadistic and bloodlusty demon like him.

But if you wanted more than that... I mean in a sexual way, I imagine he wouldn't even think about it himself. But if you really wanted that, it would take like fucking centuries, but he would reciprocate. Though maybe not as you thought he would.

[charlessmiths-wife]

CASSANDRA DIMITRESCU HEACANNONS

because nobody but me gets her. she's mine. what I say about her is correct I'm right and everyone else is wrong.

** joking, obviously. these are my own personal opinion. some of these hcs are NSFW... but none of them are too explicit ** they’re also mostly x reader

UNDER THE CUT

-> she's nowhere near as evil or sadistic as people make her out to be.

-> yes, she's a sadistic murderer, she's a Dimitrescu... after all, it's in their... blood?

-> she is the huntress of the Dimitrescu name. but that doesn't mean she hunts any and every human who gets in her way... sometimes when a maid fucks up minorly she just, yknow, moves on.

-> sure, she'll scowl and roll her eyes, making some kind of sarcastic comment about how "poor" the help has gotten - but she usually won't resort to murder over something small.

-> however, if the maidens crime is bigger OR if its been a while since her or her family have fed... then the poor maid can count on them becoming her next meal.

-> and she does find s sick sense of thrill in it, undeniably. i can't and won't try to argue with that.

-> she's incredibly protective of her family... especially Daniela.

-> many people portray Bela as being constantly worried about impressing her mother, and whilst this is true... I'd risk to say Cassandra is actually more worried about it, in a way. Canonically, Cass is the one Lady D calls upon for help in getting rid of Ethan... so I imagine she feels a lot of responsibility to defend them. when she fails to do so, this results in her becoming insecure she's let alcina down.

-> just so so SO cold to you when you first meet her 😭

-> and it’s gonna take her a while to open up properly… so if you’re lucky enough to get close enough to be even somewhat of a friend, then even at that - it’ll be a solid 6-8 business months before she even CONSIDERS properly opening up

-> but once she does, I do think she’s capable of being emotionally intelligent

-> I will say that this especially will take a while (after all, one of the cons of dating someone who murders people for sport is probably a lack of emotional maturity) but it could definitely happen

-> though only with people she cares about

-> she’d still be an asshole to everyone else (my asshole though)

-> do I think she could grow to be a good listener though? 100 fucking percent

-> LIKE JUST IMAGINING VENTING TO CASS AND HER SOFTLY HUMMING WHILST RUBBING YOUR BACK STOP

-> do I think she’s big on physical affection in general?

-> not particularly

-> like I feel like she enjoys it least out of the three sisters, with Dani enjoying it the most and Bela also growing to love it with time

-> I’d say Cass more so enjoys quiet moments of physical affection, small examples of pda such as hand holding or a kiss on the cheek she’ll tolerate, but unless she’s looking to show who you belong to, she typically won’t go for big acts of affection in public, and even at that the most she’ll usually go for is a kiss.

-> in private, she can be cuddly, but again - not as much as her sisters

-> I also do personally disagree with the idea Cassandra Dimitrescu is sex mad. I disagree with this for all the sisters, personally, but especially Cass. She enjoys it, yes- but I don’t think it’s the be all and end all for her.

-> However, she does enjoy it, and I reckon she does have some solid enough experience.

-> and trust me, once she’s spent enough time sleeping with you? I’d risk to say sex with Cassandra Dimitrescu would be so good it would be a damn near spiritual experience

-> (you just know she prioritises making her partner feel good.)

-> plus she deffo does aftercare. and I refuse to accept otherwise. She may be a murderer but she cares x

[dearestcherry]

oc smash or pass: cerise cephinne

rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

stolen from others because i've been really enjoying this prompt, so i won't tag anyone and rather encourage anyone else to post if they're interested. consider this a tag if you wish! encouraged by @iron-sparrow, thank you!

quick facts

height: 6'10"/209cm.

age: 35.

gender: trans man.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: gay man. especially comfortable with other trans men.

pros

very tall, with a bit of extra body fat that makes him soft. smells sweet, like berries and herbs.

protective, loving at heart, and will care for people. cerise lets others stay at his place, gives them some of his food, and offers medicine for comfort, even if it's all he has.

a free spirit, he doesn't seem to align himself with many restrictive beliefs, and encourages others to do so as well.

cerise loves travelling to acquire materials for his business. fun date idea.

he isn't picky when it comes to food, and fully enjoys the scraps that the brume has to offer. poor quality alcohol? no problem! his low standards mean he's easily impressed.

incredibly good at keeping secrets. cerise is full of secrets himself, he knows to keep his mouth shut!

cons

his job. though kept secret, he uses his apothecary work to kill corrupt people. this wouldn't be well known, especially to a casual hookup, but would eventually come up for a romantic partner.

emotions are strongly suppressed. if romanced, cerise comes with baggage and would need somebody tolerant of his distrust and personal struggles.

he's not used to being treated tenderly. he'd do well to have somebody that coaxes him out of his hardened shell.

he has a strong dislike for ishgardian nobility, not uncommon of brume folk. a kind noble can tame his temper about it, but the topic makes him heated.

details

cerise is from and lives in the brume - the luxuries he gives will be far from fancy, but they come from the heart if he cares for someone.

scars are some of his most important features, on both his face and body. it's rather intimate for him to reveal the marks he hides, even if it's for a casual night.

he loves to read about substances, and will tell someone a bunch of information about potions if they let him.

he puts on a sweet exterior, freely calling others nicknames and doting on them. as a pro, it's a charming façade; as a con, it's very fake.

sexual: exclusively dominant. cerise views sex as a casual activity, and it's not hard to engage with him. he likes to have control, and have some kinkier fun if possible. aside from preference, there's a range of reasons as to why being submissive is far too vulnerable for him.

romantic: he's wary of letting his guard down in general, and it would require plenty of patience to capture his heart. if somebody manages to win him over, he'll become obsessed, frequently bringing gifts or desiring to spend time together. he doesn't care for physical affection as much as he does quality time.

really, he's all about fun. he'll experiment with all sorts of things, kinks, drugs.

i'm very interested to see how this will go. he's my most polarising and complex character by far, yet also the most casual when it comes to sexual relations.

[voidwritesstuff]

The Cultures that make us (Argentina)

Cw: mentions of food, guns and flashing lights on the GIF.

Summary: The horsemen experiencing the culture of their human companion. (Can be read as romantic).

A/n: Alright peeps strap in for the culture train!. Brought to you by your dear host and their lovely country! (I'll make more for other cultures, If you want yours just shoot me an ask. I will send a DM to weed out incorrect information or to ask for clarification! I want everything to be accurate!)

A/n2: Lyrics translated at the end.

Humans and their cultures,there were so Many. Uncountable for other beings and mortals themselves,but amongst the things they shared was a love and passion for food.

Recipies passed from generation to generation. Keeping the traditions And cultures alive by making sure everyone knew how to make a snack or a meal. It was a bonding experience between families or Friends or lovers. Only humans understood the importance of food.

Ceatures who need not of sustenance,didnt get the uniqueness And importance.

The Horsemen rarely paid attention,seeing food as an indulgence rather than a need.

Until they picked up a human along their trek.

Death:

He got the sweet toothed human,because of course his luck is rotten.

This human had a love,or an obssesion,with sugar and treats of the sort. The horseman had figured it was a need,as he understood sugar was one of the components that gave humans energy,so at first he didnt think too much of It. He saw this human like a little puppy who couldnt keep up with the relentlessness of a nephilim.

--Its not that I'm living off of sugar. -- the human had told him as they made a dough. It smells citrus-like and a little sweet. They are Rolling it against a hard,metal table sized for a mortal.

To the horseman's chagrin,the Makers had taken a love for human food so now they had created a human sized home for they to stay when the reaper came visiting.

--Certainly seems like it-- The pale rider answered,watching from the corner of the room. He seems unbothered but hes curious. He always is.

--Sugar doesnt give everything us humans need. We have an elaborate diet-- the mortal explained,cutting the dough up into smaller balls and going to flatten them with a wooden roll of wood.

Their cooking was not that affected because of the ingredints. It took time to make it taste fully human-made but their kind was exhasperatingly perseverent.

--Your species is needlessly complicated.

--Said the half Angel half demon dude-- They quipped,not looking away as they Grab a Knife and cut the flattened dough into strips.

Death doesnt answer and rolls his eyes,his bone mask moving with his expression like its made of calcified flesh. He watches intently as the human folded the stripes in the shape of this ribbon,the Lower ends of the stripe meet at the center,Forming an arch of sorts.

They do this a few times, and as they do they begin to sing under their breath. Its not the first time they've done this infront of him but its always an interesting thing to witness. Hes yet to understand the language they speak,the council never bothered to give him the abilities of a polyglot.

And his human companion always joked how funny it was he spoke english. He never understood exactly what this "English" is.

--Tal vez

de tanto usar el gris

te ciegues con el sol...

¡pero eso tiene fin!

¡Después verás todo el color,

amor, quedémonos aquí!-- the human sang. It was for themself, and they had left it clear that the reaper would just have to put up with it. They wouldnt allow yet another creature to take away their culture.

--¡Amor, asómate a la flor

y entiende la verdad que llaman corazón!

¡Deja el pasado acobardado en el fangal

que aquí podemos comenzar!

He wondered what the song is about. The sounds of the human's language are so foreign.

The way they breath in their sounds with the letter S,giving words the look of having an H between syllables.

The soft sh sounds when words had a Y or a double L at the start.

Its a beautiful,sing-songy accent. The few times hes heard them speak their mother tongue,it felt like there was a slight dancing in the sounds like they were singing the words rather than speaking.

Deep down he feels sad he doesnt understand how human languages work,he'd Like to know what makes the accent so unique.

The reaper's thoughts are cut when he hears the sizzling of oil. He watches as the human sets a batch of the dough ribbons in a pan with bubbling liquid. He then sees them pour some alcohol on it and his eyes quirk with Curiosity.

--Isnt this "Rubbing Alcohol" flammable?

--Yes,but it evaporates with the heat-- The human answered with a shrug-- Helps the Moñitos with turning out greasy because of the oil.

--The what?

The human rolled their eyes,knowing the reaper hadnt paid attention when they began telling him about the snack a few hours prior.

--Thats the name of the snack,Moñitos. In english its called Little Bows.

He hummed with acknowledgement-- You humans make the oddest of concotions.

--We can give makers a run for their money-- The mortal half joked with a smirk.

Internally,Death raised a brow and amusement. He taps his pointer finger on his bicep as he watches them stirr the dough in the pan-- Perhaps. Dont let them hear it, they'll become even more insufferable.

--Hah! As if...-- The mortal then quieted,looking at the snacks slowly Cook in the pan-- I got this recipe from my mother,you know?

--You told me humans passes tradition through generations.

--Yeah,we do-- they scoffed fondly-- I remember the first time I tasted them they were sweet and lemony, and I always paid attention to the recipe. Im glad it stuck to my head.

The reaper nodded with acknowledgement and didnt say much else. He looks at the ground and simply waits for time to pass by.

Meanwhile, the human slowly begins to fish out each little bow that was cooked and ready to be eaten. They set it in a strainer and let it cool off.

Like that they eventually Cook the whole batch and once they are lukewarm they put them all in a bowl and throw a hefty dose of sugar on them.

Their reaper companion seems to return to the earth as they take off their apron and Grab the bowl walk out of their kitchen into the livingroom

--Death! Im all done. Do you feel like making tea?

He blinks at them for a second. Theyre so odd. They always asked about his feelings,if he felt up to doing something for them. Theyve never pushed,never prodded aside from natural Curiosity.

There was a tenderness he wasnt sure he deserved.

--You spent two hours making those things.-- He answered,returning to his feet-- I imagine that took a lot of energy from your...human body.

--It did,but I can make it if youre not up to it.

He shook his head slightly,a micromovement but perceptible-- You'll strain yourself and the makers Will be breathing down my neck. Go sit,Human.

They raised a brow-- Alright Mr.Grumpy. I do have a name you know?

--Dont call me that-- He bit-- And I'm well aware.

--Alright then,just checking. You rarely use it.

He didnt feel worthy of speaking their name.

--Its easier to just call you human.-- He replied.

--Right,sure-- They look so amused,he hates it-- Is it like not putting a name on a dog you dont plan to Keep just so you dont get attached?

Death rolled his eyes and dismisses them with his hand. They chuckle and leave for the comfy couch,he then goes to turn on the metal oven and put some water to boil.

The air smelled of citrus and sweetness mixed with the slight scent of oil. The naturey- Sticky smell hes grown used to. The kitchen always felt so dead when they werent around.

Hes seen them in it so Many times that it doesnt feel right when they arent there.

Apparently,humans used food and cooking as a way to bond. Hes done that with his siblings before,but he didnt expect to grow so close to another species.

It did take him by surprise,he didnt help out of respect. But spending time with them,simply being around and making conversation (which is "The human talks to Death and sometimes Death answers"), had managed to make him grow a Bond and an attachment.

What was that about avoiding putting a name to rescued dogs?.

The kettle sings its whistling tune and he makes two cups. He drank his by himself but he made it just to Keep the human company.

He comes into the livingroom with the two mugs and sets them on the coffee table with the bowl. They havent touched even a single one of those bowls.

--What were you waiting for?--He asked,a little concerned.

--You -- the human answered like it was obvious. Their voice is soft,gentle. A tenderness that he craved yet it felt like sandpaper.

--You shouldnt have bothered.

--Food tastes better when you share it-- They scoot closer and reach for one of the little bows. The set one on his Open palm-- you get the first bite I wont look.

He blinks at them like a deer in headlights-- You made them. You should-

They set their hand on his armored forearm-- No,you can have it. Let me know if I did a good job or not.

"You always do" came a voice from the deepest part of the riders conciousness.

--Youre stubborn-- He says instead.-- The sugar wont do anything for me.

--Its not about the energy it can give you,Its about indulging in flavor and sweetness.

He breathes out under his breath,they can see how his chest falls and how his eyes close for a second with defeat.

This is the third time theyve won an argument. Hes losing his sharp edges.

Death gestures for them to cover their face and they do. They even turn away from him and he lifts his mask up to swallow the whole thing in one bite. It wasnt particularly big for a being his size.

But the flavor does Keep up with his senses,he can taste the lemon and sugar,the dough's lightness thanks to the way it was cooked.

His companion had joked about how their secret ingredient was love. He only scoffed with disbelief at such cheesy piece of information.

Yet he gets it now. Its made with care,like a well sharpened blade, a well crafted amulet. Its about how much care and attention you pay whatever you made.

--Indeed,your kind has out-done the makers-- he answered,fixing his mask-- You learnt well. Turn around.

The human meets his firey gaze with the whole milky way in their eyes. Such wonder and joy. This is the first time hes agreed to eat what they made.

--Im so happy you like it!!--They screeched with a grin.

He doesnt answer but he does set the bowl on their lap and grabs one of the snacks,leaving it there in his grasp for them to Grab.

They dont doubt it and lunge for the doughy thing before taking a bite out of it. He sees their eyes fill with light and they have this big grin as they chewed.

Its endearing,he almost chuckles.

--The song you were singing--Death began,looking away as hes a little shy about asking-- What is it about? You humans always weave meaning into everything.

Was that an insult or a compliment? Who really knows when its the reaper saying it.

--Its about a man asking his partner to stay with him and forget the bitterness of the past-- They answered, grabbing the mug thats still a bit too big for them. Makers have yet to grasp human sizes and measurements-- Its called "Quedemonos aqui", Lets Stay Here, and it was made by two men called Homero Expósito and Hector Stamponi.

He grows quiet for a moment. And they continue.

--Its Tango,An Argentine genre of music-- they explained,taking a Long sip of their tea. Nobody made warm Drinks like the reaper-- And this song is a kind of Tango called Tango Lloron, a sad style kind of melancholic and sometimes tragic.

--Why sing such song? I believe you have had your fill of tragedy.

--Its good to just let things out sometimes,the good and the bad. I'd like to stay here until humanity rebuilds itself.

--All alone?

--No. Not alone-- the human meets the rider's gaze that looks uncertain of not....a little scared-- But death's a wandering spirit. So maybe it'll be the makers and me..

Death scoffed-- I dont trust them taking care of you...--their eyes widen as they hear him say their name. The Real, human name.

All they do,is set their head against their Sinewy bicep. Too much attention might make the Pale rider unconfortable, so they contain their excitement.

Hes aware of his slip up and sighs,letting them touch him. Perhaps hes growing blunt, soft. But perhaps those sweet treats and the human's company are compensation enough.

Fury:

Fury had never had a taste for cakes and sweetness. Caramels and fluffy treats were rare in her life.

The human she rescued planned on changing that.

Her human companion decided to make a very specific kind of cake,one they have refined the recipe of for months, And Fury was their body guard so they could Hoard the kitchen in the maker tree.

--So this is called a chocotorta...-- The human told her as they grabbed these chocolate cookies from this bowl with chocolate Milk. The treat seems softer now,a little soggy-- Its originally a treat made with a specific brand of cookies. It took me a few tries but ive managed to make it taste as close as I could.

--Why soak them in milk?

--Helps them be softer. Eat from one of the cookies in that tray-- They point at a metal baking sheet off to the side--Theyre crunchy but the cakes better when its soft.

Fury complies since shes bored and had little to do. Being a horsewoman was like being a deterrent for other humans trying to take up space in the kitchen. Nifty little fun fact.

The cookie tastes like raw chocolate, sweet and earthy. Its good.

--Ah,i see. -- she mused-- Shame this "Brand" doesnt exist anymore. Perhaps you'll replace it in humanity's rebirth.

Her mortal friend laughed-- it would be a little funny--They began to layer the cookies on this square container of metal with a thin paper cover to separate the food from the actual bowl.

Then,they layer this thick,light brown caramel ontop of it and then add more cookies. They do a few layers as they talk-- My cousin gave me the tip for softening up the cookies. But I learnt the recipe from a friend.

--What is that brown thing between the cookies?

--This is dulce the leche,or Milk caramel-- They answered-- Hand made! The best kind. -- they grab a spoon and give the rider a hefty scoop-- Taste it.

--Just like that?

--A lot of people I knew Ate it like that. Its a common occurance.

Fury sighs,wondering why she puts up with these situations. She feels a little silly,Like shes a kid stealing the first bite of the meal Death had cooked. Some old habits just never die.

She eats the caramel,and her eyes widen slightly. The sweetness mixed with the earthy,nut flavor is a bit of a surprise to her. It melts it her mouth and she kind of has to bite on it.

--It would be easier to swallow if I didnt make it that thick. I can make a lighter batch later.

--you humans are so clever-- She said between bites of the chewy caramel-- A maker would be jealous.

--Thats one hell of a compliment.

--A well earnt one-- She insisted-- Where did you learn the recipe?

--A close friend. Best I can put it is a family friend of sorts,the actual relationship is a bit more complicated. She made some Dulce de leche for a birthday cake she wanted to gift me.

Fury nodded-- Humans are the only species that gift eachother food,others would hoard it.

The human shrugged,setting down the caramel as they are done with it. They add the final layer of cookies and Grab the metal container. Its a bit heavy but nothing they couldnt manage.

--Cultures made cooking and making food a way to bond. Even you,keeping me company,is an off shoot of one. --They Gently set the bowl on her hands-- I need it to be cool. Can you use that hollow of yours?

Fury looked amused-- Will I get the credit for helping?

--Always.

She chuckled and reached for the Stasis Hollow. It starts as a prickle in her skin,a biting chill that slowly spreads across her hands to the thing shes holding.

Her hair turns that beautiful blue,Like deep ice. Just as cold and just as gorgeous.

--There. Should be enough-- She handed back the container.

--Cooli-o! Lemme just...-- the mortal uses the baking paper to pull out the cake and set it on a Plate. They cut two squares out of the treat and as they do they sing lowly,mindlessly.

Fury never grows tired of listening to them sing. Shes heard the language of so Many beings,shes always found them boring,but she cares for human speech. And the accent is so particular.

She listens Keenly as the Stasis Hollow is dismissed and that warm magenta returns with her usual body heat.

--Mamichula, por vos me hago bueno, me hago malo

Por vos pierdo, por vos gano, mami, en esa estamo'

Ojalá entendieras que sos la única y primera

Así que vengan lo' que quieran, lo' de afuera son de palo, mai-- this style of singing is odd. Her human companion is making sure to speak the words yet add a rythm to it.

--I havent heard you sing like that before.

A little flustered,they answer--Its not singing,its rapping. Im...okay at it.

--Huh...--the black rider hummed-- And what is that song?

--Solo por vos,Only for you,by this an urban singer called Trueno.

--Urban?

--Technically hip-hop...--The human stops anf sighs with exhaustion-- Tell you later.-- They offer a Plate with a fork-- eat,let me know what you think.

--Are you sure?

--Yeah,yeah,cmon-- they set the Plate in her hands and looks up at her expectantly.

Fury takes a portion out of the cake with the fork and eats it. The flavors of the chocolate and the caramel mix with the mildness of the milk soaked cookies. She humms and says-- Your work has paid off...

--Yay! Im super happy you like it!--They grinned--C'mon! Lets go share. Food always tastes better when you share it.

The horsewoman is dragged along with plates and cutlery,and the humans huddle together to eat the cake. Fury watches contently and eats her piece of the treat,obssessed with the sweet caramel.

In the morning,the rider's human companion would find their whole stash of Dulce De Leche gone and a very guilty looking she-horseman.

War:

You'd expect such a behemoth to have an apetite. But he doesnt really need to eat,hunger is a known feeling but mild and brief.

However,he soon realized he quite liked eating meat.

After beating the Destroyer,his loyal human companion took him back to Ulthane's lair for what they called a Barbaque. His human friend had insisted to make a meal.

War watched confused as they brought a Fire to life under a grid with all the food theyve gotten. --I could have just set Fire to that coal...-- he pointed out.

He sees his human companion turn a little sheepish-- Ah,right. Yeah...--They giggled,face a little red-- You can move the coal if you'd like

Carefully he lumbers over to the grill and he Gently begins to nudge the Burning coal under the grill. -- Why..are you doing this?--He asked.

--My culture likes to throw barbaques for celebrations, and well..this is something worth celebrating!--They gestured at the food with this grandiose flare-- I think you'd like it.

He nodded slowly,and watched them work away at the grill. They told him about how grilling was a more masculine thing,a Man's activity. After the rider pointed out how silly that is,his human friend laughed and agreed.

Its been a while since hes seen them smile and laugh like that. He can give them this moment of joy,as brief as it is.

Plus,already the food smells quite good.

As they get the food out ot the grill,they sing softly. A mindless activity had to be fought with some soft of fun.

--Nada como ir juntos a la par

Y caminos desandar

El honor no lo perdí

Es el héroe que hay en mí

Nada como ir juntos a la par

He understood why angels sang, it was all about praising the creator. But humans sang to tell their stories,to show their legacy and culture- And their voice,the way the words move and sound.

Its the first species hes found that have such thing as accents. And he liked theirs so much.

--What are you singing?--He asked as they sat on this picnic mat. They settle all the food,all the sauces they have made. He sees bell pepper and onion, celery and garlic.

There is so much to taste.

--Its a song from my culture. Its a love song.

--And what does it say?

He sees them think as they translate the words-- "nothing like going hand in hand,and trek the path,I didnt lose my honor, its the warrior that lives in me,nothing Like going hand in hand".

War Hummed pensively. Its a sweet song,he can get behind the lyrics. -- There is a lot of human culture i'm not aware of...its so intricate-- He gestures at the sauces-- what are the name of these...condiments?

The human tells him all about it, the kinds of meat they have,the condiments and the snacks. They've never imagined telling a Horseman Of The Apocalypse what fries were,but here they are.

Everything seems to slowly click,And with each bite of food his eyes widen and fill with joy just a little bit more.

--These condiments burn my mouth...-- He commented,not particularly put off.

--Thats kind of the idea.

--I..Like it..--His heart flutters as they grin.

--Oh! Thats great to hear!--they exclaimed-- Barbaques Like these,we call them Asados, were a way of celebrating! You'd invite Friends and family,it could also be an excuse to just get together.

He nodded-- No other species is so...tight knit.

--Youre part of the culture now!

--What?

Hes taken aback,genuienly. He can only watch them and forget about the chirping birds or the rushing water. The smell of dying smoke or the smell of wet sand.

The only thing in his mind is his human companion,who grabs something from their pocket and pin it to his cowl.

Its a pin of some sort with blue,white and yellow lace. His head tilts adorably and he feels quite confused. Its a flag of some kind,hes aware of that at least.

--Its the flag of Argentina. I made it myself.--The human explained-- Youre an honorary Argentine!

--I...dont even know your language.

They laughed and prodded his Plate closer-- Well I can teach you some now,you have nowhere else to be.

He smiled just a little,Like sun breaking through the clouds of a gloomy day andHis voice Carrying that hopeful warmth that came with peeking sunlight. --No,i do not..

Strife:

He was down to try anything and everything at least once. It guaranteed Him great and horrible experiences, self discovery and a shit ton of funny stories to tell.

As the spirit of eternal unrest,he wasnt lacking on the energy department.

But he does get bored.

A lot.

So he waits by the shadow of a tree,Death would reach him by the end of the afternoon and they'd leave their human companion with the makers for good measure.

Speaking of...

--Well you look awfully sad-- The human said,their hair a little bit of a mess and their eyes groggy. They Carry with them this maker-made thermos,a bag slung over their shoulder and some sort of gourd with a metal straw.

--You can thank my brother for that--He grumbled as his friend sat with him on the cool shade.

--Walking corpse, "Rattle me bones" one?

--That one.

The human chuckled,happy Strife indulges in their human culture and internet humor. They take a long,if not a little loud, slurp of the warm drink.

It catches the horseman's attention and turns to them. Hes seen them drink whatever that was before,he just never got around to ask.

--What are you drinking?

They got that beautiful little glint in their eyes,excitement and joy. -- Mate.

Yeah,the name didnt make things any clearer.

--Okay,and whats that?

--Right,right-- they pour water into the gourd they were holding. He sees these tightly packed herbs of light,yellowish grin. -- Its an Argentine drink,you can share it with Friends but only one person brews the drink. Try it.

He looks hesitant as he holds the gourd,its a bit small in his gloved hands. He looks and sounds like hes catching up with the world.

--You...want to share a straw with me? Saliva and all?

--you just drink out of it. Ive shared it with strangers just how different could it be? --They shrugged,fixing their hair as the summery breeze dances tentively across their skin.

--Well im no human.

--Except for that one time-

--That one time,yeah-- He agreed--It wont put you off? You can wipe it off-

--Strife please-- the human chided with an exhasperated look on their face.

--Okay,okay.-- he relented, his hand Is about to touch the metal straw and his friend lunges at him to stop him-- WOAH! Dont do that!

--Dont touch it!--They screeched-- It messes with the filtering of the water! Only the brewer can move it.

He sighed and nodded-- odd rules but I guess that makes sense...

--You have no grounds to call my culture odd, Mr.Horseman of the apocalypse!

Strife chuckled and nodded--Okay,fine,fair.-- He lifts his helmet a little and he drinks from the straw. He feels the warmth of the metal against his lips,and the taste of the drink rushes in.

Its strongly bitter,hits harder than a kick from Ruin. Deeply earthy,but a quite unpleseant as it settles on his tongue like heavy lead.

He spits it out and he soon finds his friend laughing a hyena's howl. --What kind of hellish drink is that!

--Give it here,ill add sugar you whimp-- They Grab the gourd and from their bag they Grab a pouch of sugar. They make a little hole around the straw and set the sugary powder there.

--Whimp?! -- He screeched,the taste lingering horribly-- Youre sick for drinking that fuckin' thing! S'too bitter!

--The horsemen of the apocalypse cant handle bitterness! Who knew.?--The human joked as the water got poured back into the gourd.

--You tell anyone about this and ill actually kill you.

--All bark, no bite-- They hand the gourd back to him-- Drink up.

Hesitantly,he tries again and this time its pleaseant. The sweetness tempers the bitter and he can taste the fresh,earthy flavor better. And the warmth of the water is a nice comfort in his exhasperation.

--See? This is way better,-- he handed back the round container.

--Mhm,mhm,whimp-- They kept teasing as he rolled his eyes fondly.

For the Next few hours,His human tells him about all the little habits and details this drink has. How in summer some would drink it with juice,or how it was common to see people from their culture Carry it everywhere.

Its a deeply social drink,Friends would sit around and catch up while sharing it. Or you could also make Friends with people by offering a Mate.

He always loved how humans were there for eachother, how they cared and Bonded with so Many little things.

The caffeine within the drink was also a nice plus.

As he enjoys his turn of drinking,he breathes in the fresh air and sees the greenery field move with the breeze. The skies are clear blue,and the sun shining bright.

Its peaceful,he so rarely gets to experience this softness. Soon though he hears another sound join the gentle choir of birds,a foreign language he doesnt know and that accent he recognized.

He doesnt turn to face his friend as they sing,but he does listen in quiet contemplation.

--Dice que soy lo mejor de su vida

Que quiere perderse conmigo to' el día

Que por mí apunta, tira y tira

Que ya no le importa cometer un delito por su niña -- the rythm is slow, but theres something about the way they sing the lyrics. This strong presence that goes well with the chill little rythm.

--Y aunque no caigas en la de nadie

Con una mirada puede enamorarte o es parte de su arte

Tiene juego prepara'o para loca dejarte

Sa-auh-ah, uh-uh-uh, uh, uh aunque parezca un ángel es, es, es, e'

He drinks from the straw and passes it over,crossing His arms over his chest.

--Nice song-- He says-- Whats the name?

--Wapo Traketero by Nicky Nicole-- They answered-- best I can translate the title is like...in very,very loose terms, is "Hot criminal"

--Hmm,sounds Like slang.

--It is.

Just as hes about to ask what the song talked about,Death began to approach. Despair's hooves click against the soil leaving a temporary path of dying Grass.

Strife sighs and stands up-- Duty calls, doll.

--Yeah,figures-- he helps them up and though they cant see it, they can hear the smile in his voice.

--Thank you for the drink,and the serenade, but I gotta go. Ill try t'bring ya somethin'

--Ohhh cool. Like a skull?

--Biggest one I can find. I promise-- he makes an X over his heart and they giggle. Thats his favorite sound.

He whistles and soon Mayehem emerges from the ether just as Death catches up with the pair. --The makers are not far behind they'll look after them.

Strife nodded and tipped his fake hat before leaving with his brother.

The human grins and picks up their stuff. They walk to Karn and Thane that wait patiently for them. And as they walk away,Karn looks at the drink and a little worried he asks.

--Doesnt that have caffeine,Lad?

--Uh,yeah?--They answered confused.--Why?

--Did ya share it with Strife?--Thane added.

--Yeah...?

The wizened maker warrior pursed his lips,scratching his brown colored beard-- Ya should thank the creator youre not Death right now.

It clicks then for the human,and their eyes widen like plates-- Oh,hes going to kill me.

Death hasnt dealt with this level of hyperactivity since Strife was a fledgeling nephilim. He sees his brother bounce around like a ball in a pinball machine,laughing maniacally as his guns ring the sound of a life's end.

Hes barely able to Keep up,And he wonders who gave him so much caffeine to begin with.

When he realizes who it was,he Will kill them. But for that he needs to make sure his dumbass brother doesnt kill them both first.

And thats going to take a while.

Lyrics Translation:

Death:

Tal vez//de tanto usar el gris//te ciegues con el sol...//¡pero eso tiene fin!//¡Después verás todo el color,//amor, quedémonos aquí!//¡Amor, asómate a la flor//y entiende la verdad que llaman corazón!//¡Deja el pasado acobardado en el fangal//que aquí podemos comenzar!" "Maybe//after using so much grey//You may turn blind at the sun//But that has an end!//After all you'll see the color//Love,lets stay here//Love,peek to see the flowers//And understand the truth about what they call a heart//Leave the past hiding in the marsh//Here we can begin" - Quedemonos aquí by Homero Expósito and Hector Stamponi.

Fury:

"Mamichula, por vos me hago bueno, me hago malo//Por vos pierdo, por vos gano, mami, en esa estamo'//Ojalá entendieras que sos la única y primera//Así que vengan lo' que quieran, lo' de afuera son de palo, mai"

"Lil mamma for you I turn good,I turn bad//For you i lose,for you I win,mami thats where we're at//I hope you could understand youre the first and only//So whoever may come,the outsiders dont matter" -Solo por vos,by Trueno.

Strife:

"Dice que soy lo mejor de su vida//Que quiere perderse conmigo to' el día//Que por mí apunta, tira y tira//Que ya no le importa cometer un delito por su niña.

Y aunque no caigas en la de nadie//Con una mirada puede enamorarte o es parte de su arte//Tiene juego prepara'o para loca dejarte//Sa-auh-ah, uh-uh-uh, uh, uh aunque parezca un ángel es, es, es, e'"

"He says I'm the best thing in his life//That he wants to waste away his day with me//That for me he aims,shoots and shoots//That he doesn't care anymore about commiting crimes for his girl//And even if you don't fall for anyone's game//With one look he can make you fall in love,its part of his art//He has his game ready to leave you crazy// Even if he looks like an angel, he is,is,is"- Wapo Traketero by nickly nicole.

War:

"Nada como ir juntos a la par//Y caminos desandar//El honor no lo perdí//Es el héroe que hay en mí//Nada como ir juntos a la par" "Nothing like going together hand in hand//And trek the path//I didnt lose my honor//Its the hero that lives in me//Nothing like going together hand in hand"- Juntos a la par by Pappo

[gmanwhore]

Pros and Cons of dating TF2 characters (these are my opinions and also done sort of for fun):

Soldier:

Pros: Completely dedicated, passionate, obviously loyal as hell, will get you gifts from the heart, won't pry into your personal problems.

Cons: You have to accept being American, keeping up with him and his beloved violence, hard to communicate with.

Demo:

Pros: Genuinely kind, incredibly smart, hard working, good person to talk to in general, quite polite actually, perfect amount of silly, very affectionate.

Cons: Uh. Gonna be real I don't know. The cursed sword? He's not bad when drunk like.

Sniper:

Pros: Low maintenance relationship, always has your back, incredibly creative dates

Cons: Would rather die than be emotionally vulnerable around you, puts his job before your relationship, probably isn't all that affectionate

Engineer:

Pros: Kind, intelligent, creative, definitely knows how to have fun, quite good with affection, still a mad scientist I feel people forget he's a bit. Out there.

Cons: Mad scientist, probably wakes you up really early because he gets up early.

Heavy:

Pros: Respects others, incredibly strong and incredibly smart, loyal as anything, cares about his family deeply, bold.

Cons: You must vie with Sasha for affection.

Medic:

Pros: Always keeps you on your toes, energetic, intelligent, can probably cut medical expenses right out of your budget, will experiment unethically on you

Cons: Will experiment unethically on you, just won't listen to your feelings, egocentric

Pyro:

Pros: Loyal, playful, full of joy and whimsy, is fully capable of defending you, probably pretty affectionate

Cons: Literally unable to see the bad, hard to communicate with, emotional connections are harder

Scout:

Pros: Always someone to talk to, energetic, goofy, always looking to impress, charming in a silly way

Cons: Tries too hard, not emotionally mature, gets way too attached, needs a lot of attention

Spy:

Pros: Hot???? <- debatable

Cons: Afraid of emotional intimacy, will leave, puts his job first, unable to admit fault.

Miss Pauling:

Pros: Always on top of things, smart, able to focus on you and her work, always up for a challenge, full of pep and vigor

Cons: Will ditch you to do work, constantly on edge, always has a million things on the go, house is a mess.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

NSFW yandere jason headcanons please?

CONTENT WARNING; for the last bullet point including mild mentions of physical harm and a mention of dub-con. If you aren't interested in that, you have been warned. If someone would like me to tag this, feel free to ask.

What you get in the bedroom from a yandere Jason is fully and completely based on how you act with him in general. As with his normal behavior, the more obedient you are with him, the sweeter he's going to treat you, and the more disobedient and rude you are towards him, the meaner he's going to treat you. Jason is not against punishing you or sexually doing some sort of torture on you if he feels you deserve it, and so as I always warn, it's best to always be obedient and obey him if you'd like to live a pleasant life with Jason. 

If you're well-behaved and always obedient to him, Jason treats you like a treasure in the bedroom. Much like his normal self, he'll make sure to take care of you, to pay attention to the things you enjoy, to go out of his way to make sure you finish before he does and to provide you with suitable care throughout the whole process. Of course, his possessiveness still comes out. Your body will still be covered in heavy bruising from his grip on you and his mouth as he bites and sucks all over your body with the intent to leave bruising and bite marks. You'll probably also have scratches along your form from his claws and he drags them along you or grips you with them in his moments of pleasure. Despite all of that, if you're a good little doll, he'll bandage you up at the end, clean you off well, spoil you with snacks and affection and make sure you're hydrated. When you're on his good side, all you really have to worry about sexually is the subsequent pain of his sharp teeth and claws. He'll run you a bath, cover you in kisses, and hold you tightly, albeit while reminding you that you belong only to him and you may only experience things like this from him for the rest of your life, but it's about as sweet as he can get like this. It's much better in both of your eyes for you to be treated like a precious object like this, so you reap the rewards of your obedience.

If you're on his bad side, however, yandere Jason is much less caring and forgiving in the bedroom. You will never be allowed to cum, you will never be allowed to suggest things the two of you can do, and you will never be treated softly. You will always do what Jason wants, you will always do it when he demands it, and you will not complain about a single thing the entire time it's happening. It is far better for you to concede and consent when he comes to you for sex because whether you want it to happen or not, he will take what he wants from you when he wants it, so of course you always let him do as he pleases. He's also much more physically rough with you. He's not afraid to choke you, to spit on you, to slap you, to intentionally scratch you, and intentionally leave bruising on you. Jason will punish you in any way that he sees fit if you've been behaving badly enough. His punishments can last anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours if he's angry enough at you. You can beg for it to end, and you can promise that you'll be good, but he won't stop until he feels you've gotten what you deserve. Of course, he still bandages you up and makes sure you're fed and hydrated after, but it's much more out of obligation to keep you alive than any real care he has when you're on his good side. It's time again I remind you to just throw away any fight if he captures you, because really, would you desire a lifetime of this, or a lifetime of being treated like a treasured pet?

[libbee]

Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

[rheian]

dividers © || header by me || total fics : 27

The man, the myth, the devil himself! sorz I haven't been posting much (and by that, i mean by a whole ass semester) school has been kicking my butt.

the first few fics in this rec list are pretty heavy. if you aren't in the mood for that, skip to "Maybe Redemption is Stories to Tell" !! anyways, have some of my favorite fics about this guy.

nothing's a gift by eluvion (T, 7k words, completed)

summary: The Sokovia Accords pass. From a corner of New York, Matt watches history repeat itself.

cw: referenced suicide and child abuse, ableism, american militarism, dehumanization, police brutality, american politics in general, anti-sokovia accords || ok, kinda controversial fic due to the nature of the sokovia accords BUT please do read it! It is an actual experience. You can absolutely tell that the writer spent a LOT of time on this fic and is wonderfully researched.

all the glory when you ran outside by whitchry9 (T, 10k words, completed)

summary: When Matt is thirteen years old, he breaks his leg. Turns out it's cancer. (Radioactive materials can have that effect.)

cw: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH!!!, underage kissing || i was so absolutely heartbroken. What the fuck.

Little devil by Timpaxew (G, 13k words, completed)

summary: Tony’s counting his blessings, because honestly this could have been worse. Babysitting a de-aged eleven year old vigilante may be a lot harder than he’d thought it be, but at least Peter’s here to help. And at least no one else was turned into children. Baby daredevil was a lot less cute than Tony would have thought. This whole child solider thing was more depressing, than anything. Tony was going to kill this stick guy.

cw: child soldiers, everything that comes with matt murdock’s backstory

small potatoes by deniigiq (NR, 1.9k words, completed)

summary: The road between ten and fifteen had been a slow descent into bad and then worse. (Matt had a hard time in foster-care. It affects the way he relates to Peter.)

cw: child abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide || “i’m i’m crying fuck” me too past me. me too.

To Know Him by withthekeyisking (M, 19k words, completed)

summary: Recently orphaned, Matthew Murdock is in high demand. And this time, Stick isn't the one to find him.

cw: brainwashing, emotional manipulation, rape, child soldiers, child abuse, typical warnings for the red room, hydra, and wilson fisk || one of my all time fav fics about matt!! do note that it has an open ending.

The Devil You Know by IsisKitsune (T, 44k words, completed)

summary: ... is better than the one that doesn't know you. Matt woke up in an unknown place. He couldn't remember going to sleep. Had, in fact, remembered being unable to sleep and just heading for the chapel to pray, hoping to wear himself out and calm his Always overactive mind... How did he get here?

cw: past child abuse, child soldiers, ableism, captivity

Of Monstrous Shape by Rosalui (M, 10k words, completed)

summary: “Put me in the ring,” Matt said. His glasses were cracked like a spider’s web, and in the shifting shadows it looked as if he were raising hackles in disgust. “The House doesn’t profit from quick deaths,” said the jailor.

cw: ableism, human trafficking || “Involuntary Battle to the Death”

what's past is prologue by avocadodreamin (NR, 12k words, completed)

summary: In which the past may have made Matt Murdock the man he is today, but that doesn't mean Foggy has to be happy about it. (Or, five times Foggy hated Matt's childhood.)

cw: past child abuse and just in general stick.

Veneration by WerewolvesAreReal (T, 19k words, completed)

summary: Matt has a strange talent for attracting beautiful, intelligent women. Sometimes, though, he indulges in another type - older men, gruff men, men who insult him and tear him down. Foggy doesn't understand... until he meets Stick. 5+1

cw: ableism, sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic violence, age gap, attempted rape/non-con || uhm.

everything we hear, everything we see by Katbelle (T, 5k words, completed)

summary: Matt gets hit with an honest-to-God real truth serum. The consequences are much less fun than pop culture has led Foggy to believe. "I don't hate you, Matt." Matt blinks. "Oh." He blinks again, and his eyes go almost comically wide in surprise. "You're not lying anymore. Foggy, you're not lying, did you know that?"

cw: referenced rape and child abuse, non-con drug use, referenced underage sex (that was non consexual)

nothing he can't endure by Katbelle (T, 21k words, completed)

summary: Matt and Foggy deal with the aftermath of Matt's Veritaserum-induced word-vomit — or don't deal, as the case may be. Foggy launches a revenge plan against Stick with the help of his weird neighbour. Interesting family connections are made and discovered. In the meantime, Matt and Foggy deal with some of their other problems, or at least try to. (SEQUEL TO EVERYTHING WE HEAR, EVERYTHING WE SEE)

cw: referenced child abuse, rape/non-con, and underage sex (that was noncon)

Learn to Live With the Unimaginable by prettybirdy979 (T, 22k words, completed)

summary: He's just supposed to be helping Red and his friend for this one thing. Only here because their interests align and Red's not willing to place the lives of children over his morals. Course that all flies out the window when Red ends up getting himself - and his friend Elektra - turned into kids. And not just any kind of kids. Oh no. That would be too easy. Red and Elektra would have to be child soldiers, who somehow choose to trust Frank. Because of course nothing in Frank's life is simple anymore.

cw: child soldiers, childhood trauma, canon-typical violence, canonical child and character death

~

Maybe Redemption is Stories to Tell by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 25k words, completed)

summary: In which Matt Murdock copes with Asgardians, little sisters, and nosy superheroes. Also known as 'why you should never let Loki crash on your couch' Featuring an excess of Asgardians, more paper cranes, New York City, shenanigans, 80s movies, hot cocoa and feelings. Not necessarily in that order.

cw: – || okay, confession: i put this fic here due to a VERY specific scene that is in my brain 24/7. BUT! I recommend reading the entire series.

Living Life in the Shadow of a Goodbye by prettybirdy979 (NR, 1.8k words, completed)

summary: Just because they fought together, doesn't mean Luke knows that much about Matthew Murdock, recently 'resurrected' blind ninja (okay they rescued him from a bunch of nuns but seriously, the man should've died).

So when he, somehow, gets roped into helping Matt train Danny to learn to pay attention to his surroundings well... it might be a chance to get to know the guy. A bit.

Plus he gets to throw things at Danny. Always a plus.

cw: –

Through the Internet's Eyes by AsperJasper (T, 3k words, completed)

summary: It's the age of the internet, and Matt Murdock really thought nobody would ever connect any of his dots? Fat chance.

cw: – || just another social media fic.

Avengers v. Ableism by whitchry9 (T, 2k words, completed)

summary: The Avengers are surprisingly good allies, as Matt finds out on a number of occasions where other people are dicks.

cw: ableism

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (But Matt's Not Wandering; He's Just Lost) by prettybirdy979 (T, 2k words, completed)

summary: Matt has a super important meeting in Sta-no, Avenger Tower that he's running late for. But finding it in Tony Stark's futuristic nightmare of a non-ADA compliant building might be a problem. (Aka Matt Murdock vs Tony Stark's building and high tech security. Here's a hint- the security loses)

cw: –

Strike the Harp by prettybirdy979 (T, 20k words, completed)

summary: Matt's been invited to Foggy's for Christmas, his first ever magical one (his Dad didn't do big displays of magic and well, nuns and magic don't really mix). He's excited; it's going to be amazing. There's just one problem... Foggy may have implied to his family that Matt had no magic. Oops?

cw: – || two words. magik murdock. that’s all thank you

Small Comforts by kfantastique (T, 6k words, completed)

summary: Matt is finally allowing himself some physical comfort from his friends and Foggy is so relieved. The friends are confused that Daredevil apparently likes cuddling?? Foggy thinks it's hilarious and adorable but he been knew.

cw: some drinking and non-consensual drug use 

Don't Worry Bro, We Got This by QueenofLit (G, 1k words, completed)

summary: After having teamed up so often with the Avengers, Matt knew it was going to come out eventually. He just hadn't quite expected this kind of reaction. Okay, no, he had actually expected the disbelief and accusations. How the Avengers reacted to that, however, was... weird. People mad at him? Usual. People defending him? Definitely weird.

cw: ableism

Ifs, Ands, and Butts by whitchry9 (T, 7k words, completed)

summary: Wherein Steve recognizes Matt Murdock as Daredevil on the basis of The Booty. He just doesn't know how to bring up the topic.

cw: –

Words on a Page by AsperJasper (G, 1k words, completed)

summary: A few times over the years when Matt wrote things down and other people had to read it.

cw: –

Not Your Damsel by whitchry9 (G, 6k words, completed)

summary: Matt is getting really sick of being rescued by the Avengers. What's he's even more sick of is needing to be rescued.

cw: –

Almonds by Anonymous (M, 1.9k words, completed)

summary: The story inspires Karen to ask, “Alright, what’s one food you will never, ever eat again?” She thought it would be fun. And it is. It’s fun when she shares the story of the time she bit into a raspberry and heard something crunch, spitting out a mangled ladybug, and ever since then she refuses to eat raspberries or anything raspberry flavoured.

It’s fun when Foggy tells the story of when he was a teenager and he ate way too much kugel too quickly after breaking his Yom Kippur fast and threw up in the shul bathroom, and now eating kugel reminds him of that experience.

“Almonds,” says Matt, “Because of the time Stick poisoned me.” Like he’s discussing the weather. Like that’s a normal fucking thing to say. It’s not fun, then. Nothing has ever been less fun.

cw: past child abuse and sexual abuse, poisoning

deserve to take up space by whitchry9 (T, 2k words, completed)

summary: “You know. The autism. He's autistic, right?” Foggy has no clue what Karen is talking about. "Those are all… just Matt things." Unless they're not just Matt things.

cw: –

penny for your thoughts by deniigiq (NR, 7k words, completed)

summary: Foggy broke them up by vociferously admiring the progress Karen was making on her vomiting gourd. They all rallied around this artistic monument for a bit. May decided that everyone needed to drink hot cider and Matt waited, kindly and politely, until everyone was holding a drink and nervously giggling about the silliness that was The Conjuring. “You wanna hear something actually scary?” he prompted to sudden silence. (Matt opens up a bit to tell Team Red and friends a ghost story.)

cw: –

The Curiosity Game by ArtemisRayne (T, 14k words, completed)

summary: Clint Barton knows that boredom is dangerous; it tends to lead to him doing stupid things. Stupid things like making bets with Tony Stark about which one of them can find and befriend the Daredevil of Hell's Kitchen first. Yet another "Daredevil Meets the Avengers" fic.

cw: –

[alpimerealmsystem]

What I'll work on posting

Soooo I got a shit ton of replies during the past couple hours. There were 5 replies, THREE OF WHICH said we need more psychological representation in our community, so that's what I'll be working on. Down below this will be a full list of stuff I have gathered from people who decided to answer my question and I'll be slowly going through this list and slowly adding to it

How our experiences as non-humans can affect our views on things

The feral side of being alterhuman/otherkin

"Rarer" kintypes such as dollkin, objectkin, conceptkin, and archetropes

the general pros and cons of being non-human

The relations between neurodivergance and non-humanity

Recipes that mimick what our kintypes would eat

the history of alterhumanity

Even if you don't believe in alterhumanity, the importance of at least respecting us

Quads/masks/gear DONT MAKE YOU A THERIAN (explanation)

Several people asked for fictionkin representation

Quitherians, suntherians, polytherians, contherians, and general stuff like that

Divinekin not being egotistical assholes (their words, not mine! Lmao but this is important)

Multiple studies have come to the conclusion that being non-human (psychological at least) requires accommodations, not fixing

Non-spirtual/psychological kin (so many people want this talked about)

Other vague representation

Fictionfolk

Transspeciess

Objectkin/psychological stuff

THIS ISNT EVEN EVERYTHING! Thank you so much y'all, I'll start trying to make a dent in this list

Edit: I actually had 8 answers within 2 hours 😭 THANK YOU SO DAMN MUCH

[sunderingstars]

since you've mentioned it, i always found the more mature/experienced aspects of sampo to be more interesting as well. I would love to hear you elaborate more on how you think sampo views sex and intimacy.

p.s. i used your playlists to help me finish an essay lol

ʚ 💌 ɞ absolutely, sex & intimacy are super interesting to me when it comes to sampo! (also as a college grad i’m glad to hear that! essays can be super difficult to write so i’m happy i was able to help 🙏)

honestly, this man is so much of a puzzle that several different interpretations could be plausibly canon, especially since he really only shows us what he wants us to see. for my own personal taste, the closest i’ve gotten to something that feels like a natural extension of his character is him viewing sex the same as money.

in a base interpretation, this could come across as sex being casual and emotionally distant to him; something to be used for his own benefit before being discarded just as quickly. his experience with being a con-man could lead to him seeing sex as a business transaction, while his experience with elation could further simplify it to something that’s fun to play around with.

however, certain theory interpretations could put a spin on this. for example, under the theory that sampo’s function is similar to that of the aha stuffed toy, his relationship with money would likely be more complex than what a base reading of his character implies, meaning he may use money as a vehicle for self-autonomy or to prove he’s worth something to himself. this would likely go for sex as well, making his views less focused on business and more in tune with a drive for autonomy and closure.

similarly, emanator!sampo could also have a bigger power gap between himself and others, potentially leading to more issues with emotional distance or even the opposite — a yearning for emotional closeness or connection during sex that he can never quite seem to grasp. sex as a transaction, sex as a distraction, sex as a chase or a goal beyond reach or a high of elation that gives more than it takes — all of these could work with his character in my opinion!

however, intimacy may be an entirely different beast for him. while he may be casual and comfortable with, for example, a one-night stand, anything personal or emotional could be difficult for him to work with. either because of his con-man trade, his backstory, or the nature of his own existence, intimacy may either be something he is inexplicably uncomfortable with and tries to keep out of his sex life as much as possible, or something that he craves intensely but can never seem to attain.

in fact, i see him as having fairly intense emotions when it comes to affection and intimacy, which could push him further away from genuinely expressing them for fear of hurting the person he cares about or scaring them away. (it’s important to note that, generally, he may not like expressing vulnerability due to being a masked fool — if vulnerability is weakness, then weakness means danger when constantly surrounded by, to put it mildly, extremely chaotic individuals. keeping things casual would often be in not only his best interest, but the best interest of the other person as well.)

in a realistic sense, i feel like this would lead to extremely good “friends with benefits” or casual sex situations, but pretty rocky territory beyond that. i do think he’s entirely capable of forming a long-term partnered relationship with genuine expressions of emotion, but it would likely take a bit of work to get there!

(i know i talked a lot here about what i feel a “canonical” or accurate interpretation might be for his character — mainly because i tend to favor analysis-heavy headcanons LOL — but it’s also fun to speculate outside of that! i think it’s cool to think about self-assured sampos or overly-devoted-bordering-on-yandere sampos or emotionally-stable old man sampos or even eldritch “sex is the highest form of elation let’s all have an orgy right now” sampos — the great thing about writing is that you can interpret things in any way you like. they’re all good in my book!)

thanks for the ask !! 🪐

[siren-sashimi]

NSFW Alphabet with... Marquis Vincent de Gramont [Headcanons; Marquis Vincent de Gramont x reader]

contents and warning: 18+ smut content, dominant male partner, dirty talk, dominance play, oral sex,rough sex, emotional neglect, pain kink, anal sex, dub-con, foodplay, posessiveness (list is non-exhaustive, please tell me if anything is missing) If you’re sensitive to, squicked out, or triggered by any of those contents, these contents generally being unsuitable for you, please do not read any further! You have been warned!Preface: Certain aspects of your sex life can vary in intensity and care depending on how romantically involved you're with each other. Vincent is certainly the type for a mistress with no strings attached but if he would enter an actual relationship... he would be dedicated. Loyalty, sincerity, and vulnerability are seldom found in the world of assassins and crime. He's also an egoistic person who's used to get anything that money, power, and violence can possibly accomplish.

[A] Aftercare For casual hookups, Vincent would follow the bare minimum of etiquette: Cleaning you up, make sure you're okay to then head straight to the shower. In a serious relationship Vincent would be a bit awkward first. He'd follow the routine of checking on you, cleaning you up although he'd pay actual attention. While he would like to hold you in his arms or be held by you, he must learn to get comfortable with such intimacy first.

[B] Body Part (their favorite of theirs & their partner) The Marquis is quiet full of himself, isn't he? Who wouldn't be proud of his regal poise, a body made for fine fashion, impressive height, an elegant face? Oh he's too well aware of all his qualities. If there was any part of his on which Vincent could pin his vanity, it would properly be his torso he maintains with rigorous training, reflecting how disciplined he is with his training.

For his partner Vincent enjoys wrists and thighs. A wrist because it can be held so elegantly (maybe wearing a pretty watch or bracelet signaling to whom it's wearer belongs). Thighs because after all, he does have some basic instincts after all.

[C] Cum Even with a condom on, the Marquis is hesitant to cum when he's inside his partner. It feels too intimate, not even to mention the risk of children which is a delicate matter of heritage as well as security. Believe it or not, Vincent's cum doesn't taste bad. Nothing overwhelmingly great still his diet is quiet balanced, with many fresh fruits and vegetables, the exact amount of proteins needed for his training, which affects the taste of his cum. Vincent's preferred areas to cum on his partner are their chest or their face.

A little surprise when comes to serious partners: : Vincent enjoys overstimulating his partner after they came by licking his partner's cum from their thigh and intimate area. It's a little sign of prowess how long he can go on, and the defeated whimpers sound especially cute.

[D] Dirty Secret (for serious romantic partners) Wouldn't mind if his partner played a bit with his ass. Maybe some light fingering, maybe some rimming.... Sometimes when he's simultaneously hungry and horny, Vincent likes to fantasize about letting melted chocolate drip on him or on you, to lick it all up, or rile each other up by eating food suggestively... (side note: He watched "Tampopo" once, and that one food scene brought up ideas he wouldn't have had otherwise.)

[E] Experience C'mon, rich, good looks, sharp sense of style, ambitious, a need to be on top? The Marquis was never in any shortage of hookups. Sometimes Vincent has sex with someone or plays shortlived games for the endgoal of sex just to prove that he can really get anything he sets his eyes on. Most of the time Vincent will fuck in a way that gives the other the illusion of being entirely satisfied whereas it's actually all about the Marquis' pleasure.

Intimate sex is more difficult to Vincent. First, he has to get used to the idea to please another person, quarellig with the need for dominance. And talking about needs... no worries, Vincent's willing to take you seriously although, like everything in a relationship, some developments and understanding takes time...

[F] Favorite Position After workouts-training: Face off position, his partner on his lap, ideal for neck biting, messing with hair, tongue kisses. Or sitting with your back to him while sitting on his lap is nice to, great potential for controlling neck gripping. If you stretch your legs above your head... let's say if you can handle the impact, that's a bonus favourite position for him.

[G] Goofy (are they serious or humorous in bed) For some reason he doesn't strike me as someone who has a single humorous bone in him - except for Schadenfreude. Which will hopefully stay out of the bedroom.

[H] Hair Like everything on him, Vincent's pubic hair is well groomed as well. He usually shaves around the intimate area, rarely let's it grow than for a few milimeters.

[I] Intimacy Ooof... if you're just on the basis of casual hook-ups/no strings attached you can forget anything romantic or sweet. Certainly, there must be something about you Vincent finds intriguing enough to fuck again but your body is a mean through which he blows of stress by sex.

In a serious relationship... it's almost sweet the way you'll be touched. Whereas Vincent might not actively think about it, the entire moment until you actually have sex is much slower, appreciative of you in the way you can touch or watch the other's body. Sometimes foreplay like sucking on fingers or stimulation by hand and mouth can lead for one of you to climax already. That doesn't mean that rough sex is off the table but there's more eye contact during sex, and Vincent's pleasure isn't the center of sex anymore. In general touches, kisses, seduction feel more blissfully sensual.

[J] Jack - off (masturbation hc) Coldblooded enough to masturbate next to you, if you say you're not in the mood. Might even touch some parts he can reach if you lay next to him (and are okay with him touching you.) Otherwise, if you're around Vincent would much rather hit it off with you than jacking off. On his own Vincent masturbates maybe once or twice a week, more out of boredom than actual interest. Unless if he feels something for you. Fantasizing about you almost every evening increases his fap-rate to a daily occurrence.

[K] Kink Which one doesn't he have? First all, he phrase "sex is about power" definitely applies to the Marquis. Hence why being one of his casuals leaves you feeling cold.

♦ Dom-sub-dynamics are a given, they only intensify with the longer your sexual relationship goes on. ♦If you're into subbing (and are in a romantic relationship) you're in for a super erotic experience. The way the Marquis exudes authority, is full ideas how to make you grovel on your knees, make you beg to serve him what he wants. (Aftercare is surprisingly sweet. Even though Vincent might not say much, he holds you closely, coos how good you were for him, gives you forehead kisses, overall is present for you if you emerge from subspace.) (Ok, this is specific to French, if you adress him with "vous" and "Monsieur de Gramont" Vincent is guaranteed to give you the best dom experience you could ever wish for.) ♦Degradation. ♦ Sensory play/ over-stimulation. A more sadistic streak of Vincent's for which he tries to make you cum without fingering/handjob or penetration. Any sensitive part of your body will be toyed with until you cum. ♦If already in the act, Vincent mercilessly toys with other body parts of yours until you came. ♦ Bondage. ♦ Low key pain kink + breathplay if inflicted on his partner. Slapping, chocking, hair pulling, disciplining This one comes along the dom-sub play. Be assured, even as casual hook-up a clear "No!" will end it all. ♦ The following is a bit uncomfortable for casual hookups: He stops but then actually still try to debate with you if you really are sure if you don't like the kinks he proposed, still tries to convince you that you'd actually should try it. ♦ Low-Key praise kink. You'd think for a man who has it all, Vincent wouldn't need more affirmation. Yet... if you tell him how good he makes you feel, how handsome he is, any compliment, Vincent will double down to overstimulate you. ♦Likes to see his partner in luxury undergarments, even if it's unpractical, like body jewelry, or a body draped in fur. ♦Oh, and if you are his long term romantic partner.... you'll dragged to exclusive boutiques where he clads in the most luscious lingerie and body decor. ♦ Likes to stash pictures of you, curating a little gallery of you. Moments of your innocent day life, snapshots during sex, you naked wearing nothing but jewelry. Vincent even makes some polaroids of his for you, all without his face or signature decor for security reasons. Very tasteful stuff.

[L] Location Preferably somewhere secure like one of his homes, or rooms in the Continental. Even though he would enjoy something more risquée, Vincent is both suspicious of potential attacks, and too possessive to have anyone else see you. For hookups he casually checks out the surrounding location for a quick fuck. In the past the Marquis has declined potential partners on the basis that the area was too unpredictable.

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc) A certain shyness is charming to Vincent. He knows that he could have anyone with his wealth and looks, but a light chase keeps his senses sharp. You needing to be persuaded will make it more fun to teach you where your place is. You being casually seductive, in particular if you don't intend to, is hella cute to him. Like one garment showing more of your collarbone, or riding up your legs, when you brush your hair out of your face in that dreamy way, that exquisitely fitting perfume you put on this morning...

If you want to actively seduce him, wear things he bought for you, give him a casual peak of that chique luxury lingerie you chose together. A reminder that the Marquis has the duty properly take care of his property. Or play-act extra submissiveness while speaking in innuendos...

[N] NO (turn offs, deal breakers, things they wont do ever etc) Not exactly a turn-off but the Marquis doesn't like to be interrupted when he's busy/preoccupied with important matters. Please respect that strict boundary for his work. Even though it's something he automatically expects of you, it will subconsciously raise his appreciation for you. Barttiness is only cute to him when enacted as roleplay in the bedroom but outside of sex, even as method to dissuade him from work, Vincent reacts very aggressively to that kind of behavior. Vulgarity, lack of manners, lack of respect are all in the spectrum of things that get on his nerves quickly. His massive ego's sensitive to jokes on his expensive. Maybe if you know each other for longer, light jabs at some vain streaks of his are okay, if not a little funny. But jokes about his failures or things he's anxious about are a guarantee for his temper to flare up. In terms of sexual preference: Nothing that does leave permanent physical damage or anything involving excrements.

[O] Orgasm Denial (how do they do it, do they like it done to them) For casual partners: If they slip out something in the likes of "I'm close", Vincent ceases whatever he just did to revert to light petting -just so he has his partner begging.

For long term relationship: Studies what makes his partner cum, stimulates that spot carefully to then slow down to make you beg for him to make you come, preferably with his favourite method.. (And please beg nicely in coherent sentences, that jerk.) Are you in the mood for spanking? Then pull yourself away from him when he's close, leave him hanging. You called for it, you made him spank some discipline into you.

[P] Pace Depends on the situation. For quickies and casual sex, usually rough and merciless although he doesn't cum that quickly. A certain roughness remains even when he "makes love" although Vincent adapts to your current needs. Can go very slow and sensual.

[Q] Quickie (where, how often, do they like them) After training/missions to blow off the adrenaline rush. Or if work was especially ceaseless during the last few weeks. Then Vincent might grab you in the training hall, or in his private office to have his way. Hook-ups are happening close to where he met them.

Casual sex is nice but actually more functional. When Vincent likes you, blowing off steam will be more in form of blow- and handjobs. Vincent will reserve a full session when he's less preoccupied with work stuff.

[R] Risk (experiments, do they like pushing themselves/their s/o) Basically down for anything if you let him do it. Would never do something dangerous or seriously injury or damage you. But he will either ask or slowly push reasonable limits with kinks. So you need to be vocal about unease, Vincent will stop then.

[S] Stamina Quiet good. After all, the Marquis needs to stay in shape for combat so he's physically quiet enduring. Can easily go for three rounds in a row. With breaks five to six rounds in a night are also on the table.

[T] Toys (do they own any, do they use them, how often, where) A definite yes. Especially when he can use them on you, make you cum while barely touching you. Toys don't belong in Vincent's usual repertoire, he uses them mostly when in a sadistic mood.

Is okay with you using them when he's too busy. Although you shopped the toys together so Vincent knows exactly what satisfies you. Maybe take a snapshot of you playing with your toys, Vincent loves sexy pictures of you.

[U] Unfair (how do they tease) That man has such a need for dominance, playing hot and cold with your body is basically the starting point for sex. Sometimes, when in seemingly mundane situations he will whisper the filthiest stuff. you remaining all pent up while he leaves you standing around, him leaving for whatever his schedule demands for him. Or you two will get into heavy petting until Vincent stands up, demands you to pleasure him or touch yourself in way so he might consider if you're allowed to cum.

[V] Volume (how loud, what do they sound like, what sounds they make) Quiet vocal actually. During quickies Vincent suppresses a lot of noises, mostly hisses and growls lowly... But during sex he's chatty (a term he'd never use himself). If he isn't commanding you around, he's talking dirty. Only quiet when physically overpowering your, like holding your neck, or chocking, arranging your body in his desired position. Grunts almost animalistically when he cums.

[W] Wild Card (random NSFW hc) In the beginning he wasn't good at dirty talk. It was uncreative, a bit outworn with clichées. Until Vincent actually got interested in you he began to notice what picked your interest, what makes you squirm in general... then he put some effort in pondering how to best formulate this stuff in an erotic way.

[X] X - ray (what do they have going on under their clothes) A super fit body. Vincent might be an uber-rich prick but as a member of the High Table he constantly needs to keep up with skills. And regards of his penis... Above average length noticeable circumference. Has a beautiful shape with a slight upwards curve. Since Vincent is so thorough with his grooming, he cleans his penis properly too.

[Y] Yearning (how often to they think of sex, how long can they go without it etc) Not as often as his first impression gives off. While handsome and rich, Vincent's quiet preoccupied with his ambitions and duties, so thoughts about sex except for stress relief can take a tertiary place in his life by times. Can go without it for entire months, with a few relieving faps here and there. But if he was to fall for you... he would think about it at least every second evening. In case you're available (sort of a free use kink), Vincent would be in the mood every morning or evening on which scheduel allows him some free time.

[Z] Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep, do they snuggle, etc)  Depends on the situation. If sex's a stress reliever, Vincent's likely gets a recovering effect from it. Cleans up, and goes on with his day. If he likes his hookup or is fresh in a relationship he might occasionally stay for a cigarette after sex. In a long term relationship Vincent goes through aftercare, then snuggles close to you. You might fall asleep sooner than him but after half an hour to an hour even he gives in, and falls asleep next to you.

[childofthenightuwu]

What Is The Soul?

An essay by Onyx (warning very long post ahead)

First, I must ask, what is life?

Well, I believe life is when molecules and particles come together to form a body, or in a sense, a machine that can metaphorically open its eyes.

When I look at plants I know they are alive by the way they react. They feel the vibration of my voice, the stroke of my hand along their leaves, or even the bustling fellow life around them, and react to it. That is what I describe as life. No matter how rudimentary or “simple” it may be in comparison to us or life forms more complex than us, it is in fact life.

Life can not purely exist as one thing, for example one particle. That particle needs to combine with other particles to create an atom, which then creates matter and energy which combine into let’s say a heart. That heart needs blood and veins and nerves to operate. Once it reaches that full state, where all the pieces come together, it can fully open its eyes.

Our entire universe is made of systems

Atoms are formed by a mixing of multiple particles or rather specks. Matter is formed by a system of multiple atoms. Our bodies are made of organs. Earth's ecosystem is made up of life, and the galaxy is a system formed by all the planets spinning around our sun. Our sun being the nucleus, being the heart, being the oxygen that keeps our system going. If you were to kill the heart, you would kill the whole system. By killing it, you would remove the vital essence from the system. The vital essence or soul must be part of a system to operate just as everything in this world. I believe this vital essence is a part of the system of our body, just like the heart and the organs, only on a different plane of existence.

The Mind

Now, look at the mind, emotions, and sensations. The mind-meaning our thoughts and conscience rather than the brain, is still a very mystical and metaphysical idea. Yet, just like dark matter and the electromagnetic field, it is something we know exists but do not know how it works. It must exist, as a collective experience we all know as thinking and feeling. Even other animals who do not speak our languages have been able to communicate emotion, the reaction of thought. Hell, even plants have exhibited reactions to stimuli similar to emotion, showing they may have minds as well. The mind is simply not controlled by the brain itself but is rather something affected by the whole reality and the whole body of a system. Something that reacts to stimuli and expresses emotion as a result. All thoughts have a root in emotion, and all emotions have a root in thought.

If thought and our own ability to identify ourselves is our soul then the mind would be the soul. But then where is the mind? It is not something we can physically touch or interact with but it is influenced by our physical existence. We can picture ourselves in our mind but we can't identify where we are when picturing ourselves there. We simply see the world through our eyes and input that information into the mind where we remember it and transform it into something new. The brain is the mind but the mind is not the brain. The mind takes the information from the brain and asks who am I? Who is this body I occupy and where are my thoughts when I am thinking? What is the emotion that floods through me and influences my everyday life? Is it simply neurons firing in my brain or is it something more metaphysical?

Electricity and the Electromagnetic Field

So, how about the electric current running throughout an organism's body? That could be described as the vital force, the soul.

Let's begin with a human. Human bodies have an electric current which runs through our entire body, stemming from the heart or more specifically the Sinus node.

The Sinus node is a small bit of mass located in the upper right chamber (or atria) of the heart. It generates an electrical stimulus about 60-100 times per minute, this activates the atria and travels through the conduction pathways. This electrical stimulus is made up of electrically charged particles. This electrical current generates the electromagnetic field surrounding our bodies.

One explanation for what the soul could be is it is this vital energy in the sinus node. In this explanation, when we die this energy escapes our bodies and our soul leaves with it. Since energy cannot be created or destroyed it is decomposes when we die and is eaten by bacteria, similar to our flesh and organs. Assuming the body was buried or died on the ground and stayed there post mortem. If the body is burned or cremated, the energy will be used to generate heat, sound, kinetic energy, light, and chemical byproducts in the surrounding area.

Regardless, our electrical current will be spread apart in different states of existence rather than in the form of one system. This may be evidence in favor of the idea that we all came from one source and have been splitting ever since into separate sources. Much like how the familial tree of all our human ancestors and non-human ancestors came to be. This does lack a certain individuality of the soul, though, and also does not account for the mind state, which produces thought and emotion.

The Planes Of Existence

For this I look at the planes of existence. This is an incredibly confusing and difficult topic to research so most of this section will be based on my own UPG and belief system in traditional witchcraft based in Celtic, Greek and Egyptian folklore as well as animism and pagan folk witchcraft.

So, personally I believe in five planes of existence. The physical plane, the mental plane, the electric plane, the otherworld or underworld plane, and the astral plane.

The physical plane is anything we can physically touch and observe in our current state. The densest of the planes consisting mostly of matter.

Next is the mental plane where the mind lives. Where thoughts, emotions, dreams, and our sense of self are formed. This plane is completely subjective to the being who owns it and is their personal realm or existence. In other words, a person's mind palace. A place where we can escape to where anything can be real. It is not based in the material world but may be influenced by it in the form of thoughts and dreams. The brain is the hub of this existence and generates the mental plane from the moment of activation, forming a world for the being in which they can contemplate the world around them. It is not wholly physical through neurons but is the result of those neurons, hence why it isn't a universal plane anyone can join. It is only a place accessible by the system containing those neurons.

Then is the electric plane where electrons reside and influence the electromagnetic field. This is where the vital essence that creates life exists. It travels through electricity-or rather is electricity-to kickstart a heart and bring about a brain to gain consciousness. The reason the electric plane is not in the physical plane is because it is not visible or usually touchable. We can be shocked by electricity like in lighting, but we can't exactly see it or touch it in its plain state as electrons. Therefore, it exists on another plane or in another field, being the electromagnetic field.

Next is the otherworld/underworld. The otherworld is often seen as below our current world but also overlapping it as a sort of double to our world. I will mix these two planes for better understanding but there are many worlds inside the double or other world and the underworld which can be considered their own planes of existence. I might explain more about these in a later work but as for right now we will use this label to explain planes of existence other than the astral plane, electric plane, mental plane, and physical plane.

In these planes time and space work differently. Different systems and beings exist there. The umbrella term of otherworld describes the Fae realm in Irish mythology for example.

And finally the astral world, where dark matter resides. The black abyss we know as our universe is the ruler of this plane. The astral plane is both above us and below us, it is all around us. It is the dark matter in our bodies and the space in which our souls reside. The great source which travels through all of us is indeed this great blackness. It is the Chaos the universe was born from and will die in.

I believe that the soul cannot be defined as one thing. We are a system, a collection of forms across all of the planes. In every plane we can be a part of, we have a form. The soul is simply the metaphysical form of us we cannot see with our two eyes.

I like to view the soul like the Egyptians did. They too saw the soul as a system, various different parts all making one whole who a person is. The first soul was the physical body or the Khet, the second was the spiritual body or Sah, then the identity or Ren, the personality as Ba, the double as Ka, the heart as Ib, the shadow as Shuyet, and the power as Sekhem.

The entirety of the soul becomes the Akh, or more specifically the Ba and Ka combined becomes the Akh. It was seen as consciousness or mind, the more intellectual idea of the soul I mentioned at the beginning. The whole in one form who upon death descends into the Underworld.

The physical body

This concept is pretty much the same in Egyptian mythology as the Khet. The body which we experience the physical plane through.

The astral body

I identify the astral body with Shuyet and Sekhem.

The Shuyet or shadow is the absence of light or electricity. The neurons to our electrons. The dark matter inside and outside of us. Our internal darkness is reflected in the physical world in the form of the shadow. I feel this aspect of the soul is both in the physical plane and the Astral plane.

The Sekhem is the power of one's astral body. If the light life essence is Ib (which I will speak on later) than the dark life essence is Sekhem. It is the dark energy which affects the things visible in the light. The power formed by the chaos of the beginning of the world, the primordial darkness that exists within everything. It is am incredibly strong power that exists in us all but is only used by very strong magic users, those who work with the primordial darkness and chaos. It is strongest in the underworld once we have died yet through ritual we can connect with the underworld and our Sekhem.

The otherworld body

I identify the otherworld body with Sah and Ka.

The Sah or spiritual body was what left the physical body after death and went into the Underworld. The part of us which I would identify with the classical soul, being the metaphysical essence which lives inside of us. This is one of the three essences inside of us being the light, dark and metaphysical. The Sah may also be a descriptor term for what we would call a ghost, what comes back from death go haunt people. Meaning that the Sah and Ka would be one in the same but Sah would be the dead person when they came back to the world of the living. It's impossible to know due to these ideas changing over the thousands of years.

The Ka being the double or the body which co-exists in the otherworld or doubleworld. This is what we enter when we traverse through the under/otherworld in ritual. When we jump over the hedge as said in traditional witchcraft.

The electrical body

The electrical body or electrical current is Ib or the heart. As I said, the Sinus node inside the heart is what starts the electrical current through our bodies, creating our brain and other aspects needed for existence. Without this we simply wouldn't be able to exist in the physical world. It is both part of the physical plane and the electrical plane.

The ib like the physical body was incredibly important to the Egyptians as it was said to be judged in the afterlife. I believe this is because with energy we take actions, if the underworld gods do not agree with the actions you took in life they will simply not allow you into the Underworld or world of the dead. To the ancient Egyptians the person was then said to be eaten by Ammit, an underworld god, and be spread into multiple pieces like the physical body. The morality of this was mostly based around truth, though it changed depending on the era and became more like Egyptian law than anything. I believe in a more ancient form of this being the respect for every being on this earth. After all, if a being does not tell the truth and does not respect other animals and creatures or even the earth and abyss they are born from, why should the underworld gods allow them into their world to live until they return to the physical world? It's not that there is an innate morality to the world, one can do what they want when they want, but they have to take the consequences of that. Like for example the underworld gods of whomever you believe may not like you, and that definitely has consequences considering they rule over your own damn death.

The mental body

The mental body to me is the Ba and the Ren.

The Ba being what makes us us. What makes us unique. I feel that this is formed in the mental plane but is influenced by the other planes as well, varying in degrees depending on the person and their connection to these planes. It is our philosophy and our interests, what others like in us and what we know as ourselves. It is also our reputation and what proceeds us after we die in the minds of the living.

The Ren is the name or identity of a person. It is what they claim as themselves through mental contemplation. This aspect is influenced by the Ba, being what we call ourselves based on who we are.

Here is a rough diagram of what I mean:

All this to say, I think the concept of the soul is extremely complex and more diverse than the current modern explanation would suggest. The word "soul" does not do justice in describing what makes us us.

I hope my explanations of what I think of the soul has encouraged you to analyse just what makes you who you are and how that can influence your spiritual practice.

[ifhymona]

٭* Not Too Late *٭

Chapter 2 | chino moreno x reader

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 3 | AO3: @romantic_daydream

1.1k words

it’s been around a month ever since i started working with the deftones. not much has happened this past month, just them teaching me the ropes. although i didn’t have a lot of experience, they were very patient with me and helped me get the hang of booking venues and making advertisements for them and etc. they were right about the chemistry between us. i feel like i could really be myself around them as if we have known each other our whole lives.

their album adrenaline has been making good money lately so my pay is pretty good so far. the only con is chino. he’s been a dick to me since day one. and it’s only because of high school drama.

yup, you heard it. high school drama. me and chino had first met in middle school. i was a 7th grader and he was an 8th grader. he started hanging out with my older brother and he would come over almost all the time. since he was always with my brother, i started hanging out with them and got closer with him too.

there were always some type of feelings i had towards chino but nothing major. sometimes, it was just the two of us hanging out without my brother. we would have fun with each other and he knew that. slowly after time went by, my feelings for him started to grow even heavier. that was until my sophomore year. he started dating a very insufferable girl named cassandra but he just saw what he wanted to see in her.

i knew something was wrong with her. i didn’t know what but she just seemed off. it might sound like i was jealous but never doubt a girl’s intuition. keep in mind, this was chino’s first girlfriend. he was head over heels for her. but i could tell she didn’t feel the same. i never seen them have a full on conversation with each other and she never looked like she was enjoying herself around him. it was the worst seeing that since chino was my best friend and he meant a lot to me. he deserved to be with somebody who treated him as an equal. the day i tried to tell chino, it didn’t go well.

i was over at his house playing the nintendo with him. it was the perfect time to bring it up.

“camillo, i’m gonna say something that might come off the wrong way but it’s because i care.”

“okay? i doubt anything will make me mad at you.” he chuckled.

“i don’t think you should go out with cassandra anymore.”

he paused the game and he turned to me with the biggest stink face ever. “what did you say?”

“i know that you love her camillo but i can just tell she’s not into you. i know that’s fucked up to say but-“

he started yelling at me. “what do you know about cassandra? you two aren’t close!”

“yeah but it’s not hard to see camillo. i just don’t want you getting hurt.”

he got up from the floor. “if you were my friend, you would support me no matter what i do with my life! don’t be mad at me because i’m finally getting some action! it’s not my fault that nobody likes you! don’t try and backstab me because I have what you want!”

“oh yeah? what is that camillo?” i shouted at him.

“i’m not a nobody!”

i could feel the tears coming up to my eyes. i will never forget those words. that was what my parents told me at my most vulnerable and he knew how much they affected me.

i ran out of his house before i could start fully crying. i couldn’t let him see me grow weak.

a week later, he found her cheating with a college dude.

so not only had he lost his so called “girlfriend”, he lost one of his best friends too and i hoped that would’ve sat with him. but unfortunately it didn’t. because he still held that grudge against me. although we had stopped talking in general, i could still feel a coldness he held towards me. i couldn’t have given a single shit though. if thats how he wanted to treat his best friend then fine.

shocking for him to still be a dick to me all these years later though. even though all i did was try and be a friend. whatever. the past is the past.

so although things were going great with the rest of the band, chino still refuses to talk to me. i was tired of feeling like the villain when he knows that i did absolutely nothing wrong. so i decided to talk to him.

it was band practice. they said they wanted me there for every practice in case something went wrong and they needed an errand girl. so i was pretty much spending most of my time with them now.

“alright guys let’s take 5.” chino told the rest of the band. as everybody scattered, i tapped chino’s shoulder.

“chino, can we talk?” he looked at me. “outside?” he rolled his eyes but nodded. we both went outside into the parking lot behind the building. i looked around to make sure no one was near.

“what’s your problem with me?” i asked.

“excuse me?”

“you heard me. i said what is your problem with me?” i stared at him.

“my problem? my problem is that you’re a backstabber.”

“oh my god are you still running along with that? i just tried to warn you!”

“no not that! despite even after you heard she cheated on me, you had never called! never came over and never asked how i was doing!”

i stared at him in disbelief. “are you actually fucking kidding me right now? please tell me you’re joking?” i mentally prepared my self for what i was about to say. “camillo you were my best friend. you’re only mad at me because i was right! i’m not your mommy, i didn’t and still don’t owe you anything! are you forgetting about the fact that you held my insecurities against me?! reminding me that i’m a nobody! you think i didn’t know that already?” he looked down. “i tried to be your best friend camillo! but you didn’t even try to be mine! you disrespected me like it wasn’t even your first time! you never not once cared about my opinion! did you even notice that i was on the verge of crying when you told me those things?” he didn’t respond. “did you!?”

“no.” he mumbled, looking down at his shoes. i stared at him. i could feel the tears coming up so i calmed myself down before i continued.

“you are the most selfish person i know and i want nothing to do with you.” i said trying to hurt him. “if you don’t want me around, then i quit.” he looked up at me in disbelief. but before he could say anything, i walked away.

a/n: i hope you guys like this chapter ! please leave a like, if you did ! that would be much appreciated. chapter three will be out in a few days ! :) love of love <3