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heartiis · 1 month ago

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the big apple ꩜ .ᐟ pt.5

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

pairing - ellie x reader

synopsis - you've just moved to nyc and ellie's your new neighbor. she hates you though and you don't know why :((

cw - mean ellie, toxic! ellie, side gig dealer ellie, weed, tattoo artist ellie, texts between reader and ellie, angst, smut

a/n - last part!! bro last part had a bunch of letters which were bigger and I kept fixing it then coming back to see some of them got big again?? it was like playing whac-a-mole I swear. also I just want to say thank you to everyone who read and interacted, it was so nice to share my writing with people who enjoyed it<33

Sitting before you was a cappuccino cup with a perfectly formed latte art leaf. You stared at it, slowly inhaling and exhaling the warm, sweet smell. It soothed you, but you could still feel a blade made of pure anxiety stabbing your guts. What were you supposed to do with the cup again?

“Hey!”

You turned your head to see your co-worker holding three iced coffees in his hands, gesturing his head to the pickup counter where a growing crowd of customers waited. It was the afternoon, one of the busiest times for coffee shops.

“Shit,” you muttered, and quickly brought over the cup to the counter and called out the customer’s name.

Your head this week had been either entirely filled with Ellie, that moment in your bedroom with the thumping and moaning, or absolutely nothing but a strong sense of dread you were too fuzzy to understand. And you hated it. You hated how pathetic it made you feel, to have someone who didn’t give a fuck about you occupying your mind 24/7, turning your new life into a mess after only having been in it for a few weeks.

You knew who Ellie Williams was from the start. Dina, one of her best friends, had told you. You knew she didn’t date, didn’t get attached or form romantic connections. It wasn’t like you’d been itching to make things official while you were still talking. You were still getting to know each other. You understood the two of you were not exclusive, and you yourself had not thought of giving a name to your relationship yet.

But you also understood yourself. You knew you’d caught feelings for Ellie because that was how you operated, and because it was Ellie, perfect and strong and raw, with her stupid green eyes and her freckles. The exact type of person you’d imagined you’d fall for. It was achingly, painfully obvious to you where you’d gone wrong. You had let the tiniest seed of hope grow in your heart.

From the way Dina and Jesse had talked about the other girls Ellie involved herself with, it had seemed like she didn’t text them as often as she did you. It hadn’t seemed like she would constantly invite them over, or invite herself over to theirs, or talk until late at night, or give them free weed just so she could get high with them.

But these were all assumptions. Dina hadn’t spoken about the topic since that night, and you hadn’t asked. You two did talk about what had happened the night of the smoke sesh, and about the constant texting and hanging out and occasional sex which had followed, but she never gave you any reason to think this meant more to Ellie than any of her other flings.

The seed in your heart felt like a shard of glass.

The walk home was cold and bitter. Your manager had sent you home early because you lacked so much focus she’d thought you were sick. Summer was reaching into Fall, and today was already colder than it should be. Not only that, but you had made the mistake of wearing another of your dresses which only went a little further than your knees and left your ankles bare. You were shivering and feeling glad you were almost home when your gaze fell on the bodega not too far off from your apartment. The bell tinkled as you pushed open the glass door and went straight to the alcohol section, finding yourself some cheap wine.

As you waited for the man at the cash register to ring you up, you stared behind him at the wall of cigarette boxes with graphic images and ‘smoking kills’ labels. You were the same as Dina, who never bought entire packs for herself so she wouldn’t smoke too much. At that point it didn’t matter enough to stop you. You left the bodega with wine and a pack of Marlboro lights, rushing to the elevator, hoping you didn’t come across Ellie.

She’d texted you thrice since that weekend. The first time on Sunday morning, apologizing for not having answered your texts, telling you she was fine. She asked you how you were. You didn’t answer. The second text came on Thursday, asking you if you wanted to hangout, and the last on that same day hours later. A ‘hi’ accompanied with three question marks. It had all been so strange. The lack of texts supplying you with updates on her day or raising questions about yours at the start of the week had made you sure she had, in fact, ditched you. The text on Thursday came as a surprise, but you ultimately knew what she wanted. It was the only thing she had wanted from you all this time. For you to be her fuck buddy.

You couldn’t bring yourself to reply. You couldn’t, because you knew if you did, you’d say yes, and you would go to her apartment and the two of you would have sex because you needed to be next to her so badly that you’d take whatever she gave you, let her have you how she wanted.

So when the elevator opened on your floor and she was nowhere to be seen, you breathed a small sigh of relief. You opened your door and you put your plastic bag from the bodega on the kitchen counter and looked for the corkscrew and singular wine glass. The first portion poured out was thick, three fingers tall. You kicked off your sneakers and downed it quickly as you watched the sky darken from your couch, not daring to come out onto the fire escape which was sure to be all ice-cold metal and biting breeze.

The more you slipped into a tipsy state, the more tears fell from your eyes, until you pushed past that and became the same amount of drunk you had been at that club. Too drunk to mind the cold, drunk enough to crave a smoke and a view of the sunset from the fire escape.

You thumped your feet to the kitchen where you got the Marlboro pack and the Bic lighter you kept in your purse, just in case. An unlit cig on your lips, a half full wine glass in your hands and the lighter interlaced within your fingers, you opened the window and drunkenly stumbled out of it, leaving the glass on the ledge as you flicked on the lighter. The wind and the cold bars of the fire escape against your sock covered feet were a welcome shock to your system.

You took a puff. As you blew it out, you noticed that Ellie was staring at you from her own spot on her window, leaning on the ledge sideways, one leg up. She wore a black jumper and had a pencil and a sketchpad in her hands as well a joint in her mouth. She pinched it with two fingers and puffed out a cloud which flew north, away from you and the sunset.

The two of you said nothing. The sight of her sitting there, the light bathing her in gold and lighting up her eyes was too much to bear. You made a silent prayer that she couldn’t see the redness of your eyes from where you were standing. Then you rushed back to your window, taking the glass in your hands so you could pass without it dropping.

“Hey, wait.”

You froze, half of your body still on the fire escape. There was an urgency to her voice that tugged at you. You wanted to reprimand yourself for being stupid again, but it was no use, you could already feel the glass in your heart smoothing over before it sharpened again, bigger than it was before.

You pulled your body back out of the window and sat on the ledge, taking a drag of your cigarette in search of the nicotine induced feeling of your blood-pressure lowering.

Ellie observed you with knit together brows. When she realized you were waiting for her to speak, she opened her mouth.“Why haven’t you answered my texts?” It was a sentence uttered so softly. It sounded fraught and out of place coming from her, who hadn’t made too much of an effort to contact you.

“I…” you started. “I didn’t think it mattered that much.” You stared at your thighs and the hand which rested there, holding your cigarette.

“Why the fuck not?” Ellie said, her voice flipping from soft and pleading to angry and raw.

Your head snapped to her, then back down, your hands rushing up to dig into your hair. “Just—Please, stop.”

She put out her joint and tossed it along with the sketchpad and pencil into her apartment then stood up, making her way to the railing closest to you. Her hands gripped the metal, knuckles turning white. “Stop? How am I supposed to just stop? I’ve been losing my goddamn mind this week. Why are you ignoring me?”

Hot tears gathered on your eyes, spilling over when you blinked.

“Hey, are you drunk? Are you even fucking listening—“ Ellie’s voice died off when you looked at her and she saw the wetness of your eyes and cheeks. She kept her grip on the railing, but her hunched shoulders slipped and she drew back, standing straighter.

“Hey,” she said breathlessly. “What’s going on?”

Your chest heaved, sucking in a breath only to let it out jagged. Ellie’s eyes were so wide. She was the deer caught in headlights now. The desperation you felt fed into the glass, turning your heart into an irritated and angry wound. It didn’t feel fair, that she should look so worried and broken when you were the one who had been made a fool, the one who had let her affection and hope and yearning become so big it swallowed everything else.

So you went to the railing too, and you let loose all the words piled tight in your throat. “You want to know why I haven’t answered your texts?” You gripped the bar, not caring how frozen and stiff your fingers felt. “Because, Ellie. I heard you fucking that girl that night.” She flinched. “And you know, it’s fine. Dina had already told me how it works with you. And it’s not like we ever agreed on being exclusive. So you did no wrong there. But fuck, It hurt. And I can’t hold it against you. But I also can’t—“ One of your hands flew to your chest, squeezing there at the fabric. You gazed into the distance and shook your head, tears streaming uncontrollably now. “I can’t keep seeing you when I know you don’t feel the same way I do. I have to protect myself.”

When you looked back at Ellie, her eyes were glistening. She stared at you for a second until she stepped back and broke her gaze, rushing through the window into her apartment.

Once she was gone you stepped back as well, a shudder rocking through you. You sat down on your window ledge, defeated. You had stripped yourself bare on that fire escape, made it painfully obvious that you had feelings for her, and in the face of them she had run off.

You were sucking in another drag of the Marlboro light when you heard a knock at your door. You turned your body but stayed where you were, too drunk to think of what to do. Then came three more knocks, hurried and loud. You sprung into action, putting out your cigarette on the kitchen counter, too agitated to think much into it.

You swung open the door, heartbeat coming in quick as you took in the sight of her. Ellie, standing at your door with wet eyelashes and half of her hair in a bun, just the way you liked it.

“Can I come in?” she croaked out.

You nodded and moved sideways, too dazed to speak. She sat on your couch, staring down at the sketchpad in her hands. You pulled up a chair from your dinner table and sat right before her. She lifted it up so you could see. On it were drawings of different items, all in her style. A bottle of wine. A switchblade. Her lighter. An apple split in half, the core of it showing. All of them with the same word written onto them; ‘survival’.

“I kept thinking about what you said. That first time we went out.” She looked at you. “I think you’re a lot like me.”

You wiped at your face, which was now sticky with dried tears.

“I was fucking stupid.” Ellie sighed and set down the sketchbook. “I shouldn’t have fucked that girl, especially when you could hear it—“ She rubbed her hands on her face, her voice cracking. It was solid again the next time she spoke. “But I did it because I was scared. Dina told the truth about how it is with most girls. I wanted it to be different with you.”

“But I’d been such an asshole to you in the beginning, and I didn’t know what to do with that, and I certainly didn’t know what to do with how I felt for you, cause I hadn’t felt it in such a long time and I was so terrified of messing it up that I guess I just thought, fuck it. It’s not going to work out. Let’s just get it over with.”

You had your hands on your thighs, and you were squeezing the fabric of your dress hard.

“But then…” She wrung her fingers. “Then you didn’t reply. And I knew I’d done exactly that. So I tried to go on with my life.” She scoffed. “It was fucking unbearable. I couldn’t focus at work. Any design I made had you in it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and how I might’ve hurt you, so I did the stupidest thing and instead of telling you how I felt I just asked if you wanted to hang out. Because I convinced myself that maybe it was all in my head and you didn’t even feel the same way I did.”

She drew in closer. “Look, I won’t lie to you. I can’t promise you I’ll be great for you. I’m not easy. But I do like you. A lot.”

You exhaled. Your eyes landed on your feet, then on her. Another tear trailed down your cheek. “Ellie…”

The look on her face broke your heart. She looked so vulnerable, like she was terrified of what you’d say next. So you just got up and walked over to her, placing your hands on her shoulders. She gazed up at you, keeping her hands to herself. You planted a small kiss on her lips. Then you drew back to look at her.

She was quick to wrap her hands around your waist, pulling you to her, kissing you hungrily. You were about to settle back into the couch when she hoisted you up, guiding your legs to fit around her waist. She stood up and kissed your neck as she carried you over to your room, laying you down gently on the bed.

Then your lips were meeting again, your limbs and torso moving in tune with hers. And there it was again, that sweet nectarine feeling coursing through you. She stopped kissing you just long enough to pull off your jacket while you pushed up her jumper, after which she went back in, ravenous for the feel of your mouth against hers.

Her hand went to your dress, tugging it up, then it was sliding up your thigh and you couldn’t help but let out a pleased groan at her touch. You felt the corners of her mouth move the slightest bit. Her fingers moved to pull at your underwear, dipping inside your folds. It was hard to keep in time with her then, as your body racked through with pleasure, you kept breaking the kiss to let out gasps and moans Ellie seemed desperate to swallow.

“El,” you whispered. She traveled from your cheeks to your jaw, planting pecks along the way, her nose pushing slightly against your skin.

“What is it?” she said, but when you didn’t say anything other than her nickname, she continued the thrusting motion of her fingers, deeper and deeper until she hit a spot which caused you to arch your back and whine. The orgasm built inside you and crashed down your legs, leaving them trembling. You inhaled and exhaled hard. Ellie withdrew her hand and brought her fingers to her lips, licking them. You hid your face, smiling.

She laughed and brought it back so you would look at her. You wrapped your legs around one of hers, so that your thigh was up against her warmth, making her grunt. When you began moving your body up and down, your thigh followed, and she hugged your arms, desperate to feel more of the pressure.

Your moans blended into each other. Ellie came first, and you came right after she started touching your neck and sucking the thin skin there.

Her hands went to your face, cupping it in her palms, her fingers brushing up and down your cheeks so her digits could feel the little parts which were still damp. Your own fingers studied the freckled bridge of her nose, the scar at her brow, the curve of her lips. Her eyes were red, and you didn’t know if it was from the weed or crying or both. Time passed differently. It didn’t matter how much of it you spent.

a/n - pls feel free to comment what you think!! I love receiving comments I might not reply to them all bc I don't want to be annoying but I promise I see them and I love them smm

@boobdrug @macaroni676 @appleofmyii @hemmo01 @elsmissingfingers @elliesapple @fatbootymuncher @d1psht @liasxeatt @metrolinha743 @nouvell-vague @salvatoreamoree @bforest

p.s. I love ur usernames...sorry if I missed anyone

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x reader #fanfic #ellie x fem reader #dealer ellie #tlou2 #ellie x y/n #ellie williams smut

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katiascraft · 25 days ago

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"Can't believe you've noticed me" | LH44

Parings: Lewis Hamilton x reader.

Summary: at the beach in the golden hour, Lewis decides to show you a song he wrote for you.

Now playing: "Notice me - acoustic" by ROLE MODEL.

Word count: +800 words.

Warnings: none. Pure fluff. Not English native speaker so there could be errors. Non proofread.

a/n: Lewis has always had my heart 💌 not forget to like or reblog! And also follow me so we can be friends (and eventually share mate!) :3

MASTERLIST

You and Lewis were on vacation. It was golden hour and you were just talking by the beach. He brought his guitar and was playing it softly and smoothly.

He looked so beautiful and handsome under the sunlight. The sound of the ocean waves involved you two. You were at peace.

You grabbed the sun lotion and re applied it to your already bronzed skin.

“Babe… can I sing you a song I wrote a while ago? I think it’s time for you to listen to it” he said sweetly looking at you while you adjusted your cap again after applying the lotion.

You looked at him with a huge smile. You loved that side of Lewis. The one that connected with art and showed his vulnerability. His insides. You loved Lewis so dearly. He was the love of your life. You admired him so much. You nodded and he smiled. That smile that always melts your heart. You got comfortable and provided all of your attention to him and only him. You could see he got a bit nervous but tried to keep it cool.

He started singing.

Talk dirty, you got your hand in my jeans

You're perfect, and everything in between

Mm, yeah, keep moaning, 'cause we're making a scene

Keep going, until they tell us to leave

You listened to him carefully knowing how important this was for him. You couldn’t control biting your lip for what he was talking about. His voice so smooth and sweet. You already loved it.

Let's dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, notice me

So let's dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, you notice me

Your heart was beating fast as he continued with the song. It’s the cutest thing someone wrote to anyone. He is so perfect. You could see how concentrated he was on the string of his guitar. His fingers pushed every chord confidently. He didn’t look at you. It would make him forget the lyrics. You are always so mesmerizing to him.

Only thought I'd have you in my dreams

Things you say leave me feelin' weak

And those brown eyes of yours are all that I need

And you whisper that I'm all that you see

Your insides were screaming. He looked at you straight in the eyes while singing the second verse. Butterflies all over you stomach. You felt daydreaming. But it was real. Lewis was there singing a song he wrote for you.

Let's dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, notice me

So let's dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, you notice me

And I won't let this go, never fell this hard

Always had bad luck, never got this far

And I won't let this go, never fell this hard

Always had bad luck, never got this far

You couldn’t help but let go of a few tears. You are always so sensitive. Lewis loved that about you. You felt things so deeply just like him. The empathy between you two was hard to match. You were just perfect for each other. A match made in heaven. He smiled widely when he saw your tears. That melted his heart completely. You were the love of his life. The first person who ever made him feel on the edge. You were so beautiful. You were his muse. His everything. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. He wouldn’t be him without you.

So let's dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, notice me

So dance when we're not supposed to be

Can't stand when you're not close to me

Damn, can't believe you notice me, you notice me

When the song finished he giggled a little because you were clapping so excitedly for him. He found it so cute. You were so happy at that moment - so in love with him. No one would ever compare to him and the way he makes you feel.

“So… did you like it?” He asked shyly, blushed.

“If I liked it? I loved it, baby. I’m so in love with you. I really admired you Lewis. You’re amazing darling” you said excited and sweet getting closer to give him a kiss that killed him right there and then.

He loved being yours. And he loved you were all his.

You kissed fondly, wrapping your arms around his neck guitar in between you. He smiled on your lips. You make him so happy. He stocked your thighs gently.

“I love you my love. Thank you for noticing me and love me. I’m the luckiest guy in the world” he told you forehead to forehead brushing your noses. You couldn’t help but smile so widely.

In fact, you are the luckiest girl too.

——————————————————————————————

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send some requests!

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sgiandubh · 28 days ago

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Things that make you go hmmm - the Live with Kelly and Mark October 2024 edition

I have long suspected that hostile Anons were, in reality, pre-emptive strikes of sorts.

But never has it been more clear than today.

You can watch C's appearance at the Live with Kelly and Mark Show, in full, here:

youtube

Instead of bothering you with convoluted explanations, I took the liberty of clipping the part that made me (and not only me) go hmmm. I will transcribe it for our Spanish girls, who normally use a translator.

It is almost too good to be true and goes to show one can never have 100% control over what one says. Especially when on a packed, tiresome and tedious schedule:

[FYI, this clipped portion's time stamp on the original video is 22:24 - 23:00 - nothing has been altered by me, just extracted with as much context as possible, lest you'd accuse me, or something]

A thing of beauty, indeed (thank God for days off, huh?):

Mark Consuelos (MC): 'And you've recently had a... uhm... a birthday...'

C: 'I did'

MC: 'Yeah... did you guys do anything special?'

C: 'Uhm, I had an amazing day, we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before, uhm, so I got to, I went to, my husband took me to an art show, then to a three-hour lunch and then to the theatre.'

Kelly Ripa (KR): 'Oh, that sounds like heaven!'

C:' It was heaven and then his birthday was like five days later and I gave him a card (inaudible- if someone can make something out of it, please step forward, by all means, I feel it's sort of important, in the context). It was....'

[laughter in the public]

KR: 'That's okay. That's alright. You also gave him a son, come on, come on, come on.'

C: 'This is true, this is true. How long can I kind of run on that one?'

MC: 'A long time, a long time'.

KR:' Oh, at least eighteen to twenty-five years.'

C:' Okay, great.'

KR:' Yeah'.

One more time: 'we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before'. I mean, this made me stop in my tracks, right?

Who is the 'we' that 'were in London'? The same 'we' who' just wrapped, like a couple of days before?' Did I miss something, here?

Since when was Tony McGill involved in the wrapping of the OL production, mind you? And if not, was it a cast trip, just after 'we' (the cast) 'wrapped, like a couple of days before'? Now that would be perfectly absurd, wouldn't it? The question was about her birthday, an intimate, family moment: why bring a collective we, like a sore thumb, in that context?

In English grammar, 'and' is a coordinating conjunction. It mainly serves to connect two words, phrases or, like in this case, clauses together.

[Source: https://www.learngrammar.net/english-grammar/clauses]

In the phrase ' 'we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before ', ' we were in London' and 'we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before' are two independent clauses, connected by a coordinator, 'and' (coordinating conjunction). Therefore, the first 'we' and the second 'we' logically refer to the same persons.

Exactly like in the following example:

'I heard her saying this and I just had to stop in my tracks, almost in disbelief'. LOL

This grammar lesson has been brought to you for free, courtesy of Sgian-dubh, Inc.

I rest my case.

PS: ' I got to, I went to, my husband took me'. Enough said. Bless her heart, she is still a very lousy, unconvincing (yet very endearing) liar.

#fandom #shitshow #Live with Kelly And Mark October 2024 #Youtube #verbatim

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luna-loveboop · 1 year ago

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Wait...

It's November. It's November first. Yesterday was October 31st, so October is over. ...it's over. Is it over?

Inktober, artober, whumptober, flufftober, linktober, every tag ending with -tober that's been circulating for the past month... is it over? I don't know why it's just hit me but...

This matters. So I will try to get the message across, even though I'm not the best at it sometimes

Fanartists, fan writers, artists, fic writers, people making comics, every single one of you that has created art for the past month...

Thank you

This is my first October on tumblr. When I started seeing the "tober" tags, seeing the posts from artists with wips, saying they were going to make something every day to a prompt, making masterposts to update with each day, I thought "cool"

But every day this month, I have gotten on here and smiled.

And I don't mean smiled. I mean I smiled at least 20 times every time I got on the app because I saw all the art and fics. I got to see artists/writers connect stories through different day prompts. I saw people having the most brilliant ideas and creativity, flowing from their hands into their posts. I saw artists responding to continuous asks, telling them how amazing they are. I saw artists getting behind, and keeping going.

I saw Free. Beautiful. Emotional. Amazing. Original. Creative. Art.

Every day

I haven't committed to anything of this before, so I can't directly relate to what you guys were thinking and feeling. But I'm willing to guess; I think you probably enjoyed it, because most won't do such a huge project unless they enjoy it. I think you probably saw it as a challenge you were willing to fulfill, and an opportunity to grow and develop your skills.

... but I'm also willing to bet you did it for us. For people like me, who love art, but don't do this specific type, who are in fandoms, who love tracking and watching you art and sending you compliments, who take joy in your work. For the other artists (and writers!) who admire each others styles and love to learn from each other.

If anyone ever tries to tell me that humans are inherently evil again, I will strap them to a chair, pull up these posts and say look. Look at what these people did. Look me in the eyes and tell me these sorts of actions don't come from the most loving hearts. Tell me these people don't want to make others happy, that they aren't inherently good. And I will tell you you're wrong.

I have so much going on, yet somehow it slipped into my life that I was constantly looking at your art for the joy of it without me even noticing.

And how is it possible. That we have such a beautiful community of people here that we will share. And communicate. And exchange compliments. And literally do things and send asks solely for the purpose of making someone smile.

I'm almost crying by now. God I can't express it well enough! But I am so. So. Grateful

You guys brought me a month of joy! You gave headcanons, and art, and stories!

Even yesterday, Halloween, I was blown away. Because I had expected... I didn't expect anything. And then I log on and see people sending happy halloween asks, exchanging doodles of candy, and headcanons and gifs.

And some are still catching up to the schedule or whatever, and that's ok! But at the beginning of this post, when I was simply realizing it was November, I asked myself "is it over?"

Is it over?

... I don't think so. I've seen artists say they're going to continue and expand on a piece they made and especially liked this month. Some people are still continuing, catching up to a voluntary deadline. All those masterposts with your whump/fluff/link/ink tober art? I know many as well as myself will be going through, looking over your posts with smiles, catching up on some things they missed this month... it will continue in the people and artists I didn't know existed before, but now follow. In the skills and growth in creativity! In the community we've grown, and art you've made, and the art to come, at a normal rate like every other month, even if it's not October anymore!

But my artists, writers... thank you so much. I don't know if you guys know how valuable and amazing you are. How incredible it is that you exist! People say it's amazing we exist under a sky of such stars, but how incredible is it that you made a stranger on the internet smile every day! Your life is so. So. Valuable. I can't even express how grateful I am that you exist, that you somehow are selfless enough to share the most beautiful parts of yourself simply to create, and to create joy. Thank you so so much.

(And this applies to all artists, in any fandoms, not just mine. And I'm just as grateful to people who couldn't do something every day, or only one day! You still share your art, you're just as... incredible. You are incredible.)

Okay.

So I'm gonna do this, and if others want to do it in the reblogs that's great! I do not care at all about reblogging or likes, but I want to make the people that have brought me such joy some appreciation- I hope I can bring you even a smidgen of the light you have brought into my life. So I'm gonna tag all the artists/writers I know of/can think of that have done any sort of October challenge, all of you creators that have made me smile. If people wanna want to tag others in the reblogs or replies to spread love that's cool.

(Basically I don't know social customs or anything at all, so if you don't want me to tag or if I was supposed to do something different or something let me know I have no idea what I'm supposed to do)(if I like accidentally tagged someone who isn't an artist/writer or forgot someone I follow... sorry)

@skyward-floored @kikker-oma @adrift-in-thyme @blueskittlesart @zeldaseyebrows @smilesrobotlover @bahbahhh @soso-dedeck @lennsart @arecaceae175 @illcamp @breannasfluff @solarfire-art @26kabeuchi @cathianemelian @truffeart @scribbly-z-raid @uniquevoidflowers

To all the artists and writers out there: thank you so much!!! You are amazing and I'm glad you exist. Your life is precious, and you matter. Thank you so much for sharing your beauty with us, we love you too!!!!!

... yeah. Just want yall to feel loved... because you are. Again, thank you. Thank you so so much to my beautiful creators who create joy as well as art, who keep storytelling alive. Just... thank you.

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ambrosialdesire · 4 months ago

Note

OMG i would like to request yandere bertolt x paradis reader.you can pick whatever part of the timeline you want, maybe he managed to survive to take her to marly, or maybe she just tried to escape on marly or paradis, or maybe he just kidnapped her I don't really care

Thank you

desiderate

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 bertolt x fem!reader word count: 9.5k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, some explicit sexual content, s4 bertolt au, implied non-con, violence, kidnapping mention, stalking, forced kissing (kinda dubcon), slight groping, kinda masochistic bertolt, cigarette usage/smoking, blood kink, knife kink, slight voyeurism, male masturbation mention, panty jerking off mention (?), slight body mutilation, scarification implications, all characters are 18+ synopsis: they've brought you here on this foreign land, a land that was once believed to be completely overrun with monsters. you've been living pretty easy with this new life of yours but it's hard to forget about what he's done to your old home. this singular man, capable of complete destruction despite his nervous demeanor. there may be humans here but the true monster still remained, watching your every move until he was ready to strike. a/n: IM NGL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST BERTOLT LMFAO i made bro a creep cause i feel like between bertie and reiner, bertie definitely has the tendency to be lurking and stalking behind corners and constantly following you and finding to opportunity to snatch your underwear to jerk off into LOL the reference that i used for s4 bertolt is this fanart that was used in a tiktok edit but i have no idea who made the art and it's making me scream bc it's definitely how i imagine what he looks like (but with thicker chin stubble) and i want to give the right creds (if you look up s4 bertolt/bertholdt fanart on google and see a tiktok image of him smoking, that's what i'm talking about but i want to give actual creds to the artist) also mb on the smoking scenes idk how it feels to smoke but i do sorta know the distinct smell of it this is also in no way connected to the cacoëthes series just to let yall know hehe i hope you enjoy this anon! thank sm for your request!! and sorry for the wait LOL note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

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"Call off your damn hound Reiner, I'm getting sick of his shit."

Pushing past the blond as you entered his home, you made your way to his dining table. You huffed as you sat down, leaning back against the chair as your boot-covered legs kicked up on the wooden table. Reiner rolled his eyes, pushing them back down to the ground with a heavy thud. He crossed his arms, leaning on the wall adjacent from where you sat.

"A hello first would suffice. What's Bertolt getting himself into again?"

"My business!" Exasperated, you threw your hands over your face. "He keeps fucking following me and it's starting to freak me out. You guys know I'm not suspicious anymore, there's no way for me to be able to contact Paradis Island at all."

Saying your old home's name had started to feel foreign on your tongue unfortunately. It's been over four years since you've been whisked away by these two assholes and living here has been nothing but a thorn on your side. You worked under the Warrior Unit, mostly a simple soldier for both Bertolt and Reiner to boss around for basic things. It's nothing different from your time as a scout but it's frustrating working for them instead of with them.

You don't know why they took you away with them instead of breaking out their other accomplice, Annie, but after a handful of screaming, punching, kicking, and biting from you, they managed to drag you off to the boat. You stayed there for an estimated week or so with random strangers coming and going, poking and prodding at you as if you were one of Hange's experiments on Eren and randomly caught Titans.

The two of them finally came back one random night unconscious, battered and beaten to the point where their Titan healing powers couldn't even help them fast enough. You needed them alive — how else were you going to manage escaping this unknown place of theirs — so you helped tend to their wounds, staying at their sides until they were finally awake.

Once they were conscious enough, you punched Reiner square on the nose, spinning around to smash your knuckles right into Bertolt's cheek. Your hand was throbbing in pain but the burning fury you felt was stronger. By the time they woke up, the boat already was leaving the docks, and now you were most likely already miles away from home.

"You fucking assholes."

Blood was dripping down his nose, while a cut just barely formed on the bruised skin of the other. It was in vain however. Steam was steadily coming out of the two of them, meaning that the healing was back in working condition.

"FUCK! I didn't even say anything yet!" Reiner scowled as he placed his hands around his nose, snapping it back in place with a nauseating crack.

Bertolt laid there quietly however, lanky fingers brushing against the welt on his face but he was unable to meet your stare. Tears started streaming down your face, your body crumpling to the floor. You were completely hurt, you trusted these two like they were family, especially Bertolt. Was he really who you thought he was? How could they do this to you? To everyone back in Paradis?

"Why? Why me?"

The two of them fell even more silent, Reiner looking up at the ceiling while Bertolt closed his eyes shut as if he was the one that was currently going through it.

"Well say something goddamnit! Why am I here?" You were beyond angry, voice crackling from how loud you were screaming at them. "Tell me!"

Bertolt finally opened his eyes, pale green staring into yours. You couldn't see him. There was only the Colossal Titan looking down at you as if you were nothing but an insignificant speck on the wall. He opened his mouth, uttering remorselessly one phrase that made you even more resentful of their entire beings.

"I'm sorry."

Now you were here after long months of being processed and interviewed over and over by many Marleyan higher-ups, eventually and finally gaining their trust. You knew they still didn't like you but who really gives a shit, they left you alive and that's all you could be grateful for.

Since you directly worked underneath the two Titan shifters, they were able to get you housing and some basic supplies for you to be able to function properly in their society, as well as a good amount of pocket money to buy whatever you needed. You didn't go out of the house for a month though, still horribly and rightfully angry at them. You were also afraid of the idea that you'd get mobbed immediately once you stepped out and killed on sight by the locals.

Bertolt was the one that finally knocked on your door, tired and baggy eyes focused on the peephole. Part of you wanted to keep the door closed and ignore his presence, but he might report you or something stupidly petty. When you opened it up, the faint waft of bitter tobacco invaded your senses, nose wrinkling at the unfamiliar smell.

As you looked up at him, he felt and looked even more like a stranger than a past friend. It's only been a month but it looked like he had gotten broader at the shoulders and taller. He was wearing a beige uniform, a white undershirt and black tie peeking out of the chest of the long, belted trench coat. His black hair was partially pushed back with gel, slightly being more grown out from the last time you saw him. The way he held himself now in Marley was completely different from Paradis, an eerie calmness surrounding his person. He used to hunch into himself when he was a trainee and a soldier, but now his back was rigid and straight, arms hidden neatly behind his back. The posture reminded you of the utmost dedicated soldiers in the Scout Regiment.

"You haven't been going to work." He softly spoke, his head slightly tilting to the side.

"So?"

"Failure to comply means termination. Termination means you'll get kicked out of Marley. Getting kicked out of Marley means death." Alright, straight to the point. Even the way he was speaking sounded different, as if he had suddenly gained a newfound confidence that was only present here in his homeland.

"You guys really thought I was able to function properly in a new continent where everything is different in a few months? Not to mention, I'm still pissed off at the two of you but fine. I'll come in tomorrow. Goodbye." You proceeded to close the door on him but he stopped it with his boot. Groaning under your breath, you tried pushing at the door so he could back off, but it was to no avail.

His hand grabbed the side of the door and heaved it open with little struggle, letting himself in as you toppled back into the ground from the force.

"You haven't been going out at all. When's the last time you bought groceries?" You flinched, avoiding his judging gaze. How did he know?

"Last month." You muttered as you got up from the ground, brushing yourself off.

Bertolt sighed, glancing off to the side. "Okay. I'll wait here for 15 minutes. Go get dressed and get your money, I'll help you navigate the markets."

You didn't want to but food was definitely running low, and you don't know how long the canned meat in your pantry was going to last in your anger-riddled protest. You made your way upstairs, rummaging through the closet and grabbing the cleanest clothes you were able to find and put on within the time limit he gave. Making your way back down, you found him in the exact same spot, his eyes glancing around the living room.

"Alright. Let's go and we're going to make it quick. I don't think I can stomach standing next to you for this long." You bitterly grumbled, moodily pulling the door open. Bertolt followed after, closing the door for you and taking the lead. What sucked even more was how quickly you had to dash after him, his steps being too large for you to have a steady pace next to him. Maybe him being a near giant compared to a normal person — you noticed as the two of you walked through crowds of people — was thanks to the Titan DNA.

Each passerby gave you a look as you walked on through but never spared a second glance, which was good. You knew that you were an unfamiliar being, a foreigner that was never supposed to be here in the first place. The farmer's market was still open, vegetables and fruits neatly lined up in each stall. He did most of the talking, being able to haggle easier due to his status and the blaring armband that wrapped around his upper arm. You didn't like having to be publicly labeled, it felt like you were merely a product rather than a person.

You were focusing on a stall with jars of honey and jams when some person suddenly shoved you aside with their shoulder, body suddenly losing its balance due to the amount of groceries you were holding on one arm. You prepared for the impact of the cobbled ground but never felt it, instead feeling a firm hand snug in-between your curve of your side and another on your shoulder.

"Careful now." You opened your eyes, meeting his in shock once he steadied you back on your feet. Bertolt's face soon turned to a bright red, his hands quickly leaving you, and his gaze glancing away. Perhaps there really is still some semblance of the man you knew in your homeland.

"Th-thanks..." Adjusting the bag stiffly back up your arms, you proceeded forwards without him, leaving him behind at the stall. It became a usual thing eventually, he'd come over every two weeks to make sure you were fine and the two of you would go out buying your necessities for an hour or two. It didn't erase the fact that you still hated them, but at least he was helping you get comfortable in this strange new world.

You finally started going to work as promised, wearing an awkward and stuffy white uniform that made even the tangling straps of the cadet uniform pale in comparison. According to the paper that came with the uniform, you were to report to Reiner and Bertolt in one of the headquarters' rooms. However, the details were so vague that you were completely lost in the beginning, roaming the hallways without a clue where you were heading.

"Soldier. Face me."

You stiffened, turning around and straightening up. The tall man was vaguely familiar, a full blond beard lining his face and round spectacles hiding his eyes. His right hand raised up as if he was saying hello and you quickly returned the gesture, somewhat remembering that it was their version of a salute.

"Name and ranking?"

"Y/N L/N, er... I'm not sure of my ranking sir. I just know I'm assigned to work for the Vice Captain and one of the Warriors?" You shuffled your feet awkwardly and he nodded, gesturing his hand for you to follow him. He started scratching his ear as he walked, as if he was in thought. To you, he really felt familiar but you couldn't quite place where the feeling belonged.

"Ah yes," His eyes glanced at you, the blue color peeking out from behind the glasses. "Now I remember. You're Reiner and Bertolt's human souvenir from the devil island, aren't you?"

Is that what they called you? And how dare he call your home a devil island! A bubble of anger was rising within you, but you didn't want to take it out on the older man that was helping you find your way. He had to be a higher-up based on his demeanor and you'd rather not get in more trouble.

"...Yes sir, I am."

"You were supposed to be here a month ago." You cringed internally but nodded slowly.

"It's my fault sir. I've only been here for a few months and everything is too... new. I hope my absence didn't affect anything." The man simply hummed, stopping at a door with the words 'WARRIORS UNIT' neatly carved into the wood. You pulled the door for him, letting him saunter in before you entered.

"I found your little pet, you two." His hand pressed against the small of your back, pushing you forwards towards a table where the two of them sat. They looked completely exhausted and were partially bandaged up, quietly sparing a glance at you with a short wave.

You settled yourself in-between them, about to thank the man for helping you but he was already stepping away, going outside to light up a cigarette.

"Don't mind Zeke, he's just... eccentric like that. Hope he didn't offend you." Reiner pushed a pile of papers towards you to sort once you turned back to them, saying something about piling them from who sent them; the important files being from the commander and the Marleyan superiors and the unimportant files being from other soldiers. It slowly dawned on you that you became some sort of assistant to them, a glorified secretary for their war schemes.

"It's nothing too difficult, you're lucky to get this kind of work compared to us and the other Eldian soldiers." Bertolt slightly smiled, continuing to read a paper in his hands and you sighed quietly, beginning to sort. Part of you was grateful you didn't have to face war anymore, but the other part didn't want to be treated differently. Maybe the Marleyans thought that you'd defect once you were on the field or kill as many as you can with a weapon in your hands, going out in a blaze of glory. You never held a gun before though and it was most likely that everyone in this military could shoot you down before you could aim it at one person.

An hour or two passed by and you finished up the sorting, neatly tapping them together. It really wasn't a difficult task at all, were they going to make you do something else for today? You quietly waited for any orders, the two focused on their own thing until Reiner suddenly got up.

"I'll go get lunch for us. Y/N, you can relax for now, there's nothing else we need from you today. Good work." He ruffled the top of your head playfully, just like he did before after a training session in the corps. The blond soon left the room, leaving only Bertolt and you alone.

The two of you sat in silence, your hands fiddling with the seams of your uniform. Was sorting the only thing you're going to be doing during your time here? You'd quit within the month if that was the case but if not, maybe in due time you'll save enough money to open up your own shop. You've always wanted to sell clothing back in Paradis, just like your mother and father.

"You look good in the uniform." Bertolt finally mumbled out, the sound of a paper flipping over barely making it audible. You slightly flushed at the comment, diverting your attention to the closest wall in sight.

"Really? I feel like a wet cotton ball, it's so uncomfortable. The scouts uniform is way better." You grumbled, tugging at the cloth around your legs.

He slightly laughed at that, shaking his head. "No way. The scouts uniform was too tight, not to mention the straps were always so difficult to put on."

"Maybe it's cause you're a literal giant compared to everyone there. I just know they had to customize a whole other set for your ass." He snorted and started laughing, dropping the paper in his hand. You couldn't help but let out a few chuckles as well, crossing your arms together. The two of you bantered for a little bit longer and just for a second, it felt like you were right back home in the training corps canteen.

Everything fuzzed out in your hearing and you soon found yourself comparing home to here. The smells were different, not quite fresh as the countryside air and had a more smoky tone with every breath you took. The sights were different, more machinery was seen rather than grassy fields and trees. The people were different, there was no one recognizable to chat with besides your kidnappers. Everything here had entirely evolved and you were being forced to adapt to it. The realization made you feel a drop in your stomach, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

"Bertolt."

"Hm?"

"I want to go back home." Your voice was meek, heavy droplets falling down and staining the white fabric beneath you. His body stiffened and he got up from his chair, almost slamming it into the table when he pushed it in.

"This is your home." He responded coldly, a singe of irritation trailing off his words as he left the room, slamming the heavy door shut. You started to sob quietly, tightly holding onto the sides of your sleeved arms.

No it wasn't, and Bertolt knew it too.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Your work schedule was simple: Monday to Wednesday from 9:30 am to 6 pm, you served the Warrior Unit. Every other day, you could do whatever you wanted and that was that. The pay was pretty good for a livable wage, but nothing special. No task you were given from Reiner or Zeke was too difficult either, it was usually just sending out letters to their superiors or sorting anything they wanted you to sort. To be honest, it felt like they were just tolerating you since the Marley government didn't want to deal with you anymore. It sucked but it's better than being belly-up in the ocean.

You haven't tried to make amends with Bertolt after that day because one, it was his fault so why would you apologize anyways and two, he hasn't been around that often in the office space. Reiner explained to you that there will be days, sometimes weeks or months where some or none of them will be here. Apparently when they came back with the failure to retrieve the Founding Titan, the loss of Annie and her Titan, and the inability to capture Eren's special Titan, some nations came together and declared war on Marley.

"Hopefully it won't be so often that we're going to be gone for long. Wouldn't want to have you sit at home and do nothing." Reiner teased with a slight nudge against your arm before downing his glass of liquor.

"I do nothing even when working. Maybe I'll pick up some new hobbies when you guys are gone, like knitting or cross-stitching."

Maybe you can give the creations to your neighbors since you were just doing it for fun. One of them is an expectant mother and since you had moved in, she had been nothing but kind to you. It would be nice to give something to her in return.

"Alright grandma." You elbowed his side hard, rolling your eyes. He grunted and started rubbing the affected area, grumbling under his breath about your temper.

"Where's Bertolt? Aren't you guys inseparable?" He suddenly cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat. Back in the training corps and the short time in the Survey Corps, you've rarely seen the two separated. Wherever Reiner went, Bertolt followed suit.

"Probably caught up in something. He'll be here soon, he never cancels without notice." He waved his hand dismissively and you thought none the wiser, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass before taking a swig.

"Already missing him?" You suddenly choked on the liquor, throat burning at the sensation. No way. No way in hell, you'd ever miss him. He could get swallowed up by another Pure Titan and you wouldn't even bat an eye. You'd laugh instead, basking in the blood that would gush out of his torn corpse.

Before you could even say anything back, a soft voice popped into the conversation. "Missing who?"

The two of you turned and there stood Marley's behemoth, still dressed to the nines in his uniform. Reiner greeted him happily, ignoring the question completely, turning towards the bartender and ordering another scotch for his friend. Bertolt settled right next to you, taking the glass in his hand and drinking up the entire thing in one go, some liquid spilling out of the corner of his lips. He quickly wiped it up with his thumb, his tongue peeking out and licking the remnants away. His cold green eyes glanced down at you suddenly, catching you staring at him.

A flush of heat went through your skin, quickly looking away to stare into your partially-full glass. The drinks kept on coming, the haze of alcohol filling everyone's systems. You were the least intoxicated, slowly taking in the new attitudes and information from your drunk companions. It wasn't much but they became more chatty, opening up about their lives before Paradis.

"I joined because of my mother." Reiner moved his glass towards the bartender, his head leaned up against his arm as he watched the brown liquid fill up his cup.

"Oh yeah?" He nodded, taking a sip from the newly refilled glass before speaking once more.

"She had high hopes that our family would've been whole again. Me, her, and my father. He's, uh—" He cleared his throat, turning his attention towards you. A faint dust of pink rested on his cheeks, a cheeky smile growing. "He's a Marley-blooded man, so y'know... I'm not really supposed to..."

"Exist." You muttered as you finished his sentence and he let out a soft laugh, nodding lightly before downing his drink again.

"Harsh, but more or less, you could say that's it. Compared to me though," The black-haired man closed his eyes, huffing softly. "Bertolt here is more tragic."

Curious but puzzled, you turned your attention towards him, his hand running through his gelled locks and he mumbled something under his breath before taking a shot. You did wonder a bit about how this man turned out to be the worst attacker on Paradis Island's humanity, it felt sickening thinking about a sweet little boy being trained into a horrid monster.

"You know I hate talking about it Reiner." The blond snorted, turning on his chair and leaning back on the bar's counter.

"C'mon. Let her in on your situation, after all—" He stood up, walking over to him and placing his hand over his shoulder, leaning in close to his ear that you almost barely caught what he said.

"You owe her that much."

Reiner made his way to the bathroom, leaving the two of you alone once more together. The thought of trying to decipher what he meant flew past your inebriated mind and so you sat in silence, instead thinking that you might as well make your way home now. It was probably already past midnight, and you were sure that you were waking up late with a massive headache. As you finalized your decision, turning in your stool and towards the door without a goodbye, the thump of glass hitting wood snapped you out of it.

"I was raised only by my dad." Bertolt started and you slowly turned back towards the counter, your full attention on him.

"Don't know what happened to my mom, he never really told me and I was never curious enough to ask. It was just the two of us for as long as I knew but even as a kid that could barely read, I knew that he wasn't... okay." His fists clenched together and you could hear the cracks of his joints from how tightly he was gripping.

"When you're born an Eldian and live in the farthest parts of the internment camps, medicine is hard to get by and treatment is even more difficult to obtain. The minute I became eligible to join, I took the opportunity." You don't know what compelled you in the moment, but you placed a hand on one of his fists. He started relaxing once he realized that you were touching him, still stiff as he reminisced further.

"Did they give him the meds?" Bertolt nodded, taking in a shallow breath.

"A few days right after I inherited the Colossal, they started giving him everything they promised and he was getting better day by day. It wasn't until I left for our mission in Paradis that his condition evolved into something worse." You swallowed nervously, slipping your fingers into his and holding his massive hand gently. His head turned towards you, his eyes soft as he looked into your gaze.

You've never seen or heard him be so vulnerable before, guilt forming in the pit of your stomach. For him, he was fighting a one-sided war against your home, all because he wanted to take care of his dad. Yet in return, he caused the displacement of so many from their families, ripping them apart with a few kicks into the walls.

"When Zeke came on Paradis and we finally met up, I asked him about my dad and he told me that despite all the medicine and treatment that he's been getting, he wasn't getting any better. I had to see him again, no matter if I had failed the original mission or not. I couldn't die on that island without being able to see him again and I just barely made it. Sometimes the way we escaped made me wonder how I even made it out of there. It was only for a few months that I got to spend with him once we came back, but he passed away in his sleep last month."

His hand tightened around yours, though not enough to break it. No wonder he started to look more disheveled and exhausted recently, his whole reason for getting where he is was now gone. You pitied him but that didn't excuse the murders of thousands he did in your homeland. At the same time, it didn't mean that you should bring that major fact up, not when he was currently grieving.

"I'm sorry Bertolt."

"It's alright, you don't have to pity me. I have more to be sorry about towards you and the others. I'll never be able to properly make it up, nothing I'll ever do will be enough to wash away the blood on my hands."

The two of you sat there in silence, a warm hand around one cold hand. You really should leave now, before Reiner comes back and you'll be stuck drinking even more than you wanted to. You attempted to finally slide off the wooden seat, but he clenched your hand gently and tugged you towards him instead. Your eyes fluttered in both confusion and tiredness as you stood in front of his sitting frame. Blinking once, his face appeared right in front of yours. His free hand slid behind and rested against the nape of your neck, feeling thin but calloused fingertips tenderly brush against the skin as he pulled you even closer.

Okay... this was getting a little too weird for your liking. Beginning to open your mouth to verbalize your annoyance and trying to move back, he then took the opportunity to press his lips against yours.

You could taste the alcohol that the three of you had been previously been consuming intertwine with the tobacco's bitterness of the cigarettes he used, a vagueness of something sweet brushing up against your tongue as he tried to coax you into returning the action. His stubble was rough against your skin the more he moved, digging deeper as he pressed further into your mouth.

You had half the mind to bite that damn muscle of his, but the warmth of both the alcohol and him was stupefying, hypnotizing. It felt like you were melting against him, a warmth pooling in your stomach and in-between your thighs. Slowly, you convinced yourself to return the kiss, gravitating into his embrace. It was stupid of you to do considering you hate the guy but hey, who doesn't do stupid shit every now and then? Fuck, you even started wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders.

There wasn't much people in the bar anyways, either too drunk off their minds to care or simply ignoring the disgusting couple intertwining themselves in the public space. The bartender was off chatting with another patron, most likely used to the sight of a couple making their passion uncomfortably known to others. It's the Colossal Titan user, who on Marley dared tried to say something about it?

The hand that once was holding yours, grabbed at the crook of your back to draw you even more impossibly near him, then sliding down towards the curve of your ass. To your utmost surprise, he clutched and squeezed at the flesh firmly, feeling you up with this sudden confidence that you would never thought of him having before.

"Annie."

Sobriety hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing onto you once you heard her name slip through his swollen lips, taking no time to immediately shove the man right off of you. He just told you his story, that his dad had just died last month, and here he was, kissing and groping you and then suddenly calling out Annie's name. You were breathing hard, eyes wide as saucers as you stared down at him in shock.

"What the fuck? What the fuck!?"

Bertolt's hand reached out to you, as if he was trying to make you lift him back up. You've never felt so nauseated to hear those very words come out of his lips as a valid apology, like it was no big deal.

"I love you."

You ran.

You ran out of the bar, into the blackened sea of night, never once looking back. If you did, you were afraid of what you might see in his eyes or if he was chasing after you. With tears lingering in the corners of your eyes, one single thought remained.

Out of everyone in the squadron, why did it have to be him?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

For a month and a half the day after what happened, you never saw Bertolt in the office or around the internment zone.

It was probably the first time him and Reiner were ever separated for this long, the blond telling you that it was his own decision to be sent off into the battlefield alone. You wondered if he told him what he did to you after he came back from the bathroom, or excused why he was on the floor and why you were gone. Reiner never said anything about the incident, so it soon faded in the back of your mind into obscurity.

He wasn't your first kiss anyways, some now-dead nobody trainee back in the day was, and the two of you were drunk, stupid shit happens. Part of you also somewhat knew about Bertolt's fondness for the Female Titan user, originally not knowing about how close they were previously, but damn it. For a heated moment to be ruined like that left a sour taste in your mouth, and you couldn't help but hate him even more for it.

"He's back."

"Who?" Reiner's fist came down on the top of your head playfully, catching your attention from the paperwork.

"Y'know who. Better talk to him now before he passes out from exhaustion from the looks of it. Also, because I know you miss him~" He teased and you swatted his fist off of you, watching him as he walked off towards the main room laughing, leaving you with a pit in your stomach. You really didn't want to talk to him, even if a month had passed on by, but legally, he was your superior. Professionalism before personal feelings unfortunately.

You finally got up, walking slowly to the destination before taking in a deep breath and entering the medical unit. Bertolt was near an open window, a lit cigarette lazily nestled in-between his fingers as he stared out of it. He was the only person there and you swore that every time you saw him, he started to look more unrecognizable from his previous cadet days. His hair wasn't slicked back anymore, falling at the front of his eyes; in fact, you thought it might've grown out a little more from the last time you saw him. The Titan marks were still prominent on his face, like he had just transformed not long ago.

Wiping your clammy hands on your puffy uniform, you approached him, pulling up a chair nearby the bed and sitting down stiffly.

"Welcome back sir."

His head turned towards you and you swore that you felt the room grow colder as he gazed into you through the black strands of his messy hair. Maybe you were the only one that noticed, but his eyes were dead, hollow but still held some sharpness in those pale green irises. This was no longer the Bertolt you knew, this was a numbed man that got mentally thrown and torn apart in the arms of the constant war, the constant transforming, and the constant murder of many.

"Hit me."

"E-excuse me?" He must’ve gotten faster because you didn't realize how quickly he grabbed you until he pushed the palm against his healing skin. It was burning to the touch, as if you were right next to a blazing bonfire. Instinctively, you started to try and wiggle out of his grip but he held steady.

"Hit. Me." Bertolt's grip grew stronger around your wrist, fear creeping in through every cell in your body as you watched the surrounding skin pale from how hard he was holding. "That's an order."

You swallowed but nodded quickly in agreement, just so he can let go of you before any bones shatter. He immediately released you straight away, the action as fast as he previously took ahold of you and took a hit of the nearly burnt out stick. You had to hype yourself up for it, thinking back on every rotten memory you’ve had with him, balling up your fist and striking him as hard as possible where he originally placed your hand. The force made his head swing the other way, the cigarette butt dropping on the ground as your knuckles throbbed in agony. It was like directly punching a stony wall, not like the previous time you punched him on the boat to Marley.

You let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, straightening back up as you held onto your wounded hand. "And how do you feel, Bertolt?"

Bertolt’s body didn’t move, but his hand began to slowly trailing up to the injury, pressing his fingers against the forming bruise. You flinched as he pushed his hair back to where you could finally see his eyes, exhaling the smoke that he previously took in through his nostrils. He glanced over in your direction and let out a soft chuckle, although you noticed that it didn't quite reach those dull eyes of his. There was one thought that lingered in your mind as you stared back into his gaze, that he must've gone crazy fighting in the frontlines.

"Good hit, make me bleed next time." ...What? "Though, I'm surprised that you decided to visit after... what we did the last time we saw each other."

Recovering quickly from trying to process what he just said at first, you cleared your throat, crossing your arms. "The Vice Captain requested me to visit his right hand man, who am I to refuse his wishes?"

He simply hummed in response, reaching for another cigarette in his pocket and his lighter. Placing the unlit stick at the side of his mouth, his eyes caught yours once more, a slight smirk forming. "When'd you start talking like the soldiers? You forget the years we've spent together already since I've been gone, or did you finally get in trouble for treating us like equals?"

You scoffed, pulling your lips in a thin line. "You're the one that gave me an order earlier, and I've had a recent revelation that I had to start acting like a subordinate rather your friend or buddy or whatever the fuck we are, so yeah, I guess it's the latter."

"Ahh, better watch your language then or I'll have to report you for profanity against a superior." Bertolt was of course joking, the mocking tone intertwining with his words. As you felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance, the sound of lighter clicked and ignited, your eyes watching him pull the flame near.

"Y'know..." He started as he took in a drag, leaning his head back towards the ceiling and soon exhaling the smoke out slowly. "I've been thinking about you the entire time I was gone."

A heaviness plopped itself back on your shoulders, and you wanted nothing more but to excuse yourself out of his premises. You were about to say something to leave him alone, but he kept on talking, droning on and on about how he was counting down the days when he could finally see your face again. Bertolt mentioned that you were the only reason he kept on fighting, why he kept on killing so his commanders could see that he was doing such a swell job as their loyal Titan holder and let him leave early. What a horrible ideology, most of those people could've been innocents.

"And another thing, I kept thinking back on the kiss we shared that month ago." All the color drained from your face, turning and taking a step back to try and run, but felt his hand grasp onto the fabric right against your back. His voice had the same disdainfulness as before, a demandingness that you didn't even know he had in himself to project.

"Don't leave and turn back around. That is an order."

You grit your teeth, finally turning back around once he let go of your uniform and find him standing, his tall stature hovering over you. Nervousness crawled up your spine, flinching once you felt his cold fingers reach over to caress your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes scanned your face, inspecting your features quietly before taking another drag of his cigarette. He then neared your face and press his lips against yours.

Recoiling at the abrupt kiss, you tried to push him away but the grip on your face was painfully tight, almost akin to the hold on your wrist earlier. You could do nothing but endure this assault, a slight whimper slipping out as the soreness of your face grew.

Bertolt's tongue brushed against your lips, trying to coax you into opening them. You might as well obey, just to get this over with and the fact that you were running out of oxygen at an alarming rate. Once you did, he pushed the smoke in your mouth as he deepened the kiss, the burn in your lungs and in your throat getting worse. In a panic, you bit down as hard as possible to free yourself, the taste of iron combining with the bitter nicotine. You quickly doubled over and started coughing, watching in tears as vague smoke came out of your mouth with every heave and breath.

"Ah." You peered up at Bertolt from within your teary vision, the tips of his fingers on his lips and pressing against the wound you inflicted. It was deep from what you're able to see, but already started to heal itself. Yet, that's not what at all made you run out the room in distress, almost vomiting into the bushes once you stepped foot out of the building.

You watched in mortified horror as he smeared the crimson around his lips and chin, a seemingly euphoric and satisfied expression reflecting on those pale green eyes of his. He looked down at your frozen form, crouching down and reaching over to your face with his bloodied fingers. A small whimper slipped out as he smeared the substance on your mouth, a hungry grin forming.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? My blood on your lips, I wonder if I can make you bleed for me soon." It felt like he wasn't supposed to say it aloud, but maybe he wanted you to hear, to have a taste of what his true self was like. That thought alone made you run out, leaving him on the ground once again.

This time, you had to make sure you'd never see the sick fuck ever again.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

And this brings you back to the beginning, in Reiner's home completely agitated and frightened for your life.

The past few months, Bertolt resumed his normal duties along Reiner and you; although you limited your interactions with one another, you can’t help but notice that he was following you everywhere. Not just at work, but the times where you were on your breaks, going out to eat, shopping for groceries or clothes, even in your own home; you saw him. You barely caught him sometimes, he'd disappear in a blink once you tried to get in a second glance to confirm who you saw.

He lingered behind corners, staring at you with such a frightening glimmer in those dull eyes of his. He was usually expressionless as he stared into your very soul, not a single crooked smile or the usual slight upwards curve of his eyes. Nothing, absolutely nothing. And the strangest part was that he never said a word, just... stared. Sometimes he just stood there right in the public's view, crowds of people passing besides him without a single glance towards the weirdo in their way.

There was nothing you could do about it, he wasn't technically bothering anyone and due to the internment zone being rather small, they already knew that he was associated with you. How unfair it was. You wished you could live like them, ignorant and dismissive of the monster that stood right next to them.

Him being right outside of your window was your final straw, the lamplight just barely highlighting his features as he stood in your backyard. You screamed and backed up into your dining room table once you realized that he was right against your window, pressing his hand against the glass as his breath began to fog it up. His eyes were crazed, the first time you ever saw anything in them after weeks of ignoring him. You flung the drapes over the window — as if it could do anything to protect you — before running upstairs and hiding in your closet for the rest of the night.

If he was able to sneak up on you, to be that close without you noticing… what else has he done?

"He's being a fucking creep, Reiner. If it's not him trying to figure out that I'm some kind of double-crosser, it's him being some kind of perverted stalker." He snorted at your remark and you could tell that he was not entirely convinced. You took in a shaky breath, finally putting down your foot.

"Then I would like to request that I leave the Warriors unit and work somewhere else. I don't care where and if I have to move, all I want is to never see Bertolt ever again." Reiner's expression suddenly hardened and he pushed himself off the wall, leaning on the table opposite of you. You've never seen him quite as serious until now, unease filling your stomach.

"You do realize that we cannot protect you once you leave the unit, right? The only reason you're alive still is because of us, Y/N. Anywhere else in the other units, the generals and commanders will watch you like hawks for any mistake you make, minor or not. They would use any excuse to have your head." His hand rested on your shoulder and squeezed it firmly, checking his surroundings before leaning close into your ear.

"Look. I know about Bertolt's strange behavior, trust me, I've already noticed he's been off ever since he came back from that recent excursion. I don't know if I can convince him to stop doing this to you, but I mean it when I say that you're better off staying in our unit." He then leaned back and lightly smiled for more reassurance; a part of you felt that it was the scout in him that was talking and that made you feel a little better.

"We're all you got in this world and your best chance for living. C'mon, just give him one more shot." This wouldn't be happening in the first place if you left me back in Paradis, you thought bitterly but hesitantly nodded your head.

"Okay, fine. But you better get it in his head that I don’t want him stalking me anymore or I’ll report him to General Magath and leave the unit, no matter what the consequences are." You got up and headed towards the exit, turning your head to see him slowly push in your seat. He noticed that you didn't leave yet and lifted his hand up, almost waving goodbye.

"No promises," Reiner held up his pinky, slightly wiggling it. "But I'll do my best."

You scoffed, but smiled regardless.

"Then whatever happens, it'll be on you."

The next day continued on as usual, something normal for once as both Reiner and Bertolt weren't in today. You thought that they must've gotten deployed to another war since you hadn't seen any of the other Warriors either, but you continued work as usual for your shift. Even if you weren't required to, you might as well lighten the load for you the next time around.

By the time you were done with half of the stack, you finally called it quits, seeing that the sun had began to slowly set behind the towering buildings right outside of the windows. Clocking out, you slung your satchel over your shoulder and pushed past the doors, quietly walking back to your home. Now that you started to think further during your trek, it's strange that you didn't get any notification from Reiner about their sudden leave. He'd always gave you some kind of heads-up even if you didn't ask, either through a note or in person.

Was this something so serious that not even you can know about? That would make more sense, you're technically just an underling to them, you didn't need to know more confidential information from the Marleyans as a Paradisian; not like you wanted it or had any use for it anyways. The orange glow of the sun began to fade, the sky slowly turning darker by the minute as lamplights started to flicker on right on cue.

You were so close to home that you started to pick up the pace, a feeling of anticipation running through you. It's not like you felt scared, no. This was the first time in days that you finally felt like you didn't have to look over your shoulder, the first time in months where you didn't feel like you were being watched.

In a matter of minutes, you finally reached the front door of your home. You rummaged through your bag for the keys, taking your time as you pushed through the unfortunately crowded mess. There was no need to rush anymore, not until they come back, and hopefully Reiner was able to talk Bertolt out of his abhorrent, unprofessional behavior. Letting out a happy hum as you finally found what you were looking for, you pushed in the key and turned it open, only to be greeted with a gut feeling that caused goosebumps to immediately form on your skin.

Something was wrong. Despite everything being in their right and respective places, there was something... off. Standing still at the entrance way, you scanned the environment slowly, a lump forming in your throat as they darted to-and-fro nervously. The windows were locked, you knew they were, and none of the drapes seemed to be moved or altered from their original places. There was only one entrance and to get to the backyard, you would have to take the side fence door at the outside of the resident. You almost were tempted to back out of your own house, the one place where you've considered as the safest haven from the outside. This feeling, it had to just be that you were unused to being finally left alone... right?

You finally took a step inwards, the wood creaking underneath your boot. Mentally, it felt like excruciatingly long hours had just passed by for you to get another step, internally praying that your mind won't play tricks on you from the various sounds that were occurring in the considerably old home. There's nothing or no one here, you're just being a paranoid baby.

Exhaling slowly, you finally shut and locked the front door behind you. Repeating the phrase over and over gave you confidence to continue forwards, determination in your eyes. You'd be damned if Bertolt thinks he could scare you out of your own home, you'd rather go to prison than try to stay at his home for temporary shelter.

You lost your appetite to prepare a simple dinner, now knowing that you'd prefer not to try cooking something when you've just arrived in fear for your life. However, you carefully made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the wooden block. The sound of the metal sliding out of its sheath may have been the loudest thing you've been currently hearing. You gripped onto the handle tightly, turning towards the stairs.

You knew you weren't alone here, the house may settle now and then, but this felt different. This was different. No matter what your brain was telling you, your gut was telling you otherwise.

Crrreeeaaakkkk...

You froze, feeling suddenly out of breath as you stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. The sound came from your room, there was no doubt about it. A memory of Bertolt trying to secretly make breakfast for you flashed into view, the sounds of pans clashing below waking you up. You should've questioned how he gotten in the house in the first place during the earlier stages of this thing of his, but you were far too hungry and tired to even notice until now.

In meticulous steps, you made your way to the staircase, trying to make sure you didn't step on the wrong board and alert the intruder of your presence. Hell, he might've already known since you unlocked the door. The hallway never felt longer than it was before as you approached the room, the moonlight shining down on you and the weapon held in your dominant hand. There was more creaking the more you came towards the door, your heart pounding in your chest in the rhythm of a thousand Abnormals sprinting towards their next delectable meal.

The door was slightly ajar, alarms ringing in your head. You never have left the doors in your room open in your life, especially when sleeping and even when you left the premises. Someone is in there and you know who it is. Taking in a deep breath, you leaned in gradually towards the crack in the door, trying to control the trembling in your hands as you peeked through.

The stench of blood first hit your nose, then the sight within nearly made you scream in horror. Bertolt was in your room, sitting on the middle edge of your bed, all bloodied from head-to-toe what you were able to tell from the street's lamps dully illuminating the surrounding room. Though that was stomach-churning in itself, the action he was performing on your bed made everything even more heinously depraved.

The bastard was fucking his fist with your panties wrapped around his cock, his pelvis erratically jutting into the tight hold he put around it. His lips were slightly parted, almost barely audible groans slipping out with every stroke. Even worse, you could hear just the cusp of your name with it, your own face growing warm.

You had to report this to General Magath, now. Burn your bed and used underwear once you got the chance to second on the list. Reiner failed, maybe even never went up to him, and now you had to take the drastic way out of this. He finally took things way too far; if not your underwear, it might’ve been you.

You took a step backwards, immediately paling as the floorboard behind you squeaked loudly under the weight. The movement from within your room paused abruptly, anxiety and dread crawling up your veins with every passing moment. The sound of the bed springs being relieved of any weight on them immediately alerted you that you needed to start running or hide until he leaves. It was too late, the door opening with a grinding, crackling noise.

"Welcome home, Y/N."

Bertolt lunged at you, instincts kicking in as you swung the knife, aiming for his throat. You knew it wouldn’t kill him, you’ve seen Mikasa do it years ago and he healed without any trace of the injury left, but it would give you enough time to get to Magath’s residence. At least, that’s what you tried to do, but he moved last minute, the blade only digging into the side of his face towards his mouth.

He was stunned by it at first, a nauseating feeling permeating within your stomach as you watched the skin and muscle separate as he opened his mouth, blood streaming down his jawline in thick streams. Then he started chuckling, pressing his hand against the wound roughly and almost pulling it apart. This was no time to stay shocked however. You took this final opportunity to run, carefully trying not to cut yourself as you made your way down the stairs.

"Y/N!!!" Oh god, oh god, oh god. You reached the entrance, turning the lock and pulling it open, the cold air of the night blasting in your face. Freedom was right there in your grasp — just right there — before a thickly drenched hand from behind grabbed ahold of you from the mouth and pulled you back inside.

You couldn’t scream as his bloodied palm held firmly down onto your mouth, tears streaming down your face as he lodged himself right between your legs. He was crazed, his pupils dilated with excitement as he stared down at your quivering form. You could the hardness straining against your uniform pants, a sob stuck in your throat. The inflicted wound on his face was obviously starting to heal, steam coming off of it.

"Good try, too bad you aren’t strong enough to even try to finish the job." He took the knife out of your hold, his blood still staining the edges. Bertolt neared it towards your throat, your body fighting back as it approached closer and closer.

"Hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep moving like that." He scolded, as if he wasn’t the one with the weapon, the cold blade right against your jugular. You froze on cue, taking in sharp breaths with your nose to try and not to panic even more.

"You weren’t meant to see me uh—" His face flushed pink, scratching his uninjured cheek with his pointer bashfully. This bitch was acting like he didn’t just break in your home, committed a perverse act on your bed, and about cut your throat open. Bertolt slightly adjusted himself, rubbing his still-hard cock against you. "But it was pretty exciting, how long were you watching? Did you get excited?"

You wanted to shake your head, only flinching as you felt him unbuckle the belt, nimble fingers unbuttoning and zipping down your pants. You had no choice but to feel him slip his dirtied hand into your underwear, his fingertips pressing against your hole. A proud smile grew on his face, a vast contrast to your horrified expression as the two of you made the same realization. You’re wet.

Bertolt pulled the knife away from your neck, short relief coming out of you in waves, but he didn’t drop it or throw it aside. No. He used it to tear your uniform shirt open, a muffled yelp escaping you as the cool air made contact with your bare skin.

"We’re going to have some fun together, okay?" You felt like throwing up in his hand, hoping that you’d asphyxiate from it. Your heart stopped as you realized that he was nearing the tip of the blade on your lower stomach, right below your belly button.

"Right after I carve my name into you."

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unadulteratedkr · 1 month ago

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~Let's talk about credit~

(not financial credit trust me you don't want to take financial advice from me lol)

No, today I am inviting y'all to the table to talk about the importance of crediting other creators in fandom!

Because, listen. We don't have a peer-review system. We don't have to submit our stuff to a plagiarism checker or go through stringent editing when shitposting on tumblr; we operate in an honor system of crafting folklore using our favorite blorbos, and that means that inspiration and using the specific words and images from canon creates a grey area on what ought to be credited, and how to do it in a way that creates a solid, strong community.

Here's a little of my philosophy and how I give proper credit where it's due, so I figured I'd share them to hopefully encourage others in making sure no one out there ends up becoming fandom's James Somerton

1. Links are your friends, use them enthusiastically

Drooled over a gifset that made you write a poem? Read a fic that made you pull out your embroidery hoop? Saw some art that made you write a song? Link to the original! Tag the original artist, hyperlink to the giffer, share the fic via the amazing shortcut button on Ao3, it's what those creators deserve! Even if it's a shitpost, that creator is where your idea started, and it's the right thing to do to share directly where your audience can connect with the person who inspired you.

This holds INFINITELY true if you are directly quoting someone. If you've used someone else's words to create your own work, link back to the original. No one wants to be sent a fic or a funny post on tumblr and then feel the sinking pit in their stomach when they realize that post is their own words with someone else's name on them.

2. Ask for permission when you can

Now, the reason I threw the addendum on this with "when you can" is because knowing when to ask for permission is more of an art versus a science. I myself have written more than one fic inspired by art where I didn't reach out to the artist before I shared the fic because I had no contact with them (the joys of me refusing to touch the garbage that is the bird site). BUT this is why point number one is to always link back to the original inspiration, because I believe that should always be the bare minimum.

THAT BEING SAID.

If you have a way of contacting the original fellow fandom person who inspired you? Reach out and ask them if they'd feel comfortable with you creating something! 999 times out of 1000, they're gonna be over the MOON you want to create something inspired by what they made, and they'll be really fucking pleased you reached out to check.

3. Ask yourself: is this a "two cakes" situation or am I putting my name on someone else's cake?

This is another one that can absolutely fall into a bit of a grey area. I have written many a fic that started out with me reading a take or a fic that went in a WILDLY different direction from what I was expecting or wanted, and I went "okay, fuck it. I'll write my own." And that's absolutely been a great motivator for me to start a project!

HOWEVER.

That is me creating a different flavor of cake, putting my own frosting on it, and probably adding something weird like lemon zest and instant coffee for a lemonade cappucino chiffon that shouldn't work (but definitely does, trust me)

If I were to have read a fic or a take and then gone, "Oh, yeah, definintely, here's the same idea but now I've rephrased it juuust a little and now it's under MY username on my blog".... that's slapping a different color of frosting on the same cake and claiming it's mine. If you find yourself doing that, I really invite you to pause and consider why you felt the need to do so instead of sharing the original post.

Like, not to bring Shakespeare into it (they say, poorly concealing their icon), but fandom can be exactly like how Juliet views love. Sharing joy in what others have created absolutely can be as "boundless as the sea [...] the more I give [...], the more I have, for both are infinite". It does not take away from the joy your fellow fandom friends will have in your own original work to share the work of others.

4. Hyping up your inspiration is FUN

Finally, this is more of me going "no really, proper credit isn't going to mean people love YOU less" because I truly believe in the power of how much FUN it really is to give credit where it's due. I was buzzing for WEEKS in anticipation of publishing Objection! and The 'I Duoy' Newlywed Special because the marvelous @jackuntiljune had brainstromed with me on the name for the boat my boys eloped on. And I get so fucking giddy when I see someone comment on those fics about the name of the boat because I get to take a giant breath and go "MY FRIEND JACK CAME UP WITH IT, AREN'T THEY AMAZING?!"

If you practice giving credit where it's due, I promise promise PROMISE it will become a joy. It's FUN getting to bring more people into the sandbox to play, and I know I love it when there's more than one person out there I can yell at (affectionate) when I've been emotionally destroyed (again, affectionate) by a gifset or art or fic <3

Thanks so much for reading this far! I can't wait to keep sharing inspiration with all of you out there

#fandom life #fandom #credit

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maleyanderecafe · 7 months ago

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The Shades of Red (Visual Novel)

Created by: Kuro

Genre: Horror/Romance

I was actually pretty surprised how well made this game was, considering that many demos tend to be still in development stages. I was also surprised that the yandere in this one had a wife before the events of this story, which leads to various questions on why he might be infatuated with the female lead. This was another wonderful addition to the #yanderejam and it certainly delivers on both it's creepiness factor and it's romance.

The story starts out with the MC going to an art gallery with her friend Jane. She just moved into a new apartment and is trying to live a new life for herself so she doesn't have to rely on her dad. Jane tries to connect her with the famous artist there, Issac Redfield and even ditches her later so that she can meet him

When she does meet him, he grows a strong interest in her, even asking if she would want him to be her art tutor. The two of them end up talking about his artwork and even gives him some of hers. After leaving, Issac thinks about how similar she seems to someone before continue talking to them. The next day, the MC goes to Isacc's house for lessons and they head over to his art room. You can attempt to sneak up the stairs, but Isacc will catch you and warn you not to go up there. Upon going home, the next day, Jane comes over and the two talk about their visit to the museum, where Jane talks about the divorced man that she was talking to. Jane also asks about Isacc and the art lesson. The MC goes for another art lesson, where Isacc asks her out on a date afterwards. The next day, Isaac seems pretty annoyed over Jane, insulting her, to which the MC has to defuse the situation. Issac ends up flirting with the MC during their next lesson and the MC goes home. The MC tells Jane what Issac said about her, which causes Jane to get upset if the MC takes his side, which leads to her leaving. The MC and Issac go on a lovely date later after this.

Depending on certain choices, the MC can have the opportunity to sneak into the second floor without issue. They find that it's very darkly lit and have a choice to look at two items, the art pieces and the covered boxes. The art pieces show pretty spooky art, which is very different from Issac's current style. The covered box as the MC finds smells horribly and is instead filled with a lot of dead birds. Issac ends up searching for the MC and catches them trying to leave the second floor, and gets pretty angry with her if he did warn her before. He will ask if she found anything there. He seems less panicked when you've only found the paintings but he seems more scared if the MC finds the dead birds, He tries to explain that the neighbor's cat has been killing the birds in his yard and that he didn't want to throw them away in the trash lest the MC finds it. The MC attempts to leave after this.

If she feels uncomfortable and tries to leave, Isaac will run after her and almost get hit by a car. She ends up going back home, with Isaac banging on the doorway to try to let her come in. She ends up calling her dad, who invites her to stay at his place for safety reasons, proving once and for all how

If she tries to defend Jane, she will tell Issac to apologize and leave the house. She tries to text Jane, but she doesn't answer and so the MC can decide to either go home or go to the library.

If she goes home, she'll end up drawing at home, worried that Jane hasn't responded back or even looked at her text. When she goes to bed, she ends up getting kidnapped and wakes up to Isaac tying her up in the basement. After getting angry, he mentions that Jane is no more causing the MC to go into distress.

If she decides to go to the library, she'll end up reading up on some art books while also being worried that Jane is not responding. While going home, she finds that someone has broken into her place, as the lights are on. She calls the police and then calls Isaac after going to a hotel for the night. Isaac tells her too that he tried to call Jane to apologize, but she wasn't picking up and that she could come over to get her mind off of things. When going back, the MC finds Issac in his garden and we can learn more about his wife, who had died suddenly and pretty recently. We can also talk to him about the caterpillars in his garden, something that he likes very fondly, despite the fact that they eat his plants. He seems to despise birds though and tells the MC that he tries to get rid of them so that they don't eat the caterpillars. In the end, the MC thanks Issac for the nice time.

I got to say, this game is a lot more polished than I first initially thought it would be. There's an animated title sequence, voice lines, unique UI, even a bar for affection. It's pretty polished, all things considered. The tones of red within the game are cool and the artwork that Issac has is pretty haunting. The game is pretty for sure, though because it's in it's demo state, it's hard to see what the full game will eventually be like. It's also nice to have an MC in one of these games that does have a good relationship with their parents, since most of them either don't or are nonexistent within the game. The setup to the more mysterious side of Issac is pretty good too, like why he might have an obsession with butterflies or what happened to his wife. Why he might be obsessed with the MC, that stuff.

Speaking of Issac, I think it's really intriguing that he actually did have a wife prior to meeting the MC, since I don't think I've really seen as many widowed (is that the word?) yanderes. Normally when they do project their love onto someone (if this is what is happening), the person they're trying to replace is a previous lover, or another close member, not necessarily someone they've married and (unassumingly) almost had a child with. Unless it's of course, more of a gothic vibe to them (something like Viego from League of Legends or even something like Cursery: The Crooked Man and the Crooked Cat). Still we don't know too much about what happened to her and their unborn child, whether she unfortunately died during childbirth or was killed by him or someone else, which does add to the mystery of it all. Either way, it seems he's pretty sensitive to it, even to this new person that he likes. For yandere actions, there isn't really too much other than in the ending where the MC leaves, where we do find out that Issac probably has the keys to the MC's apartment, along with being able to kidnap them. He also seems to get jealous pretty easily, calling Jane a whore and even killing her in one of the endings. He can also be a bit manipulative, knowing that the MC was feeling vulnerable after finding out someone had broken into her apartment and getting them to hang out together. I'm not sure what's going on with him and the caterpillars, maybe something relating to his wife, which is why he seems very vehement about killing off all of the birds that come near his garden, as well as the old artwork that he has on the garden. Maybe Issac isn't actually replacing his wife, but rather is trying to move on, and grows obsessed over her because he doesn't want her to end up like how his wife died. That's just speculation though. Like I said, Issac is a bit of a mystery currently and that makes it even more intriguing.

Overall, I think the game was a lot better than my first impressions on it down to the style and the interesting take in yandere. Issac's voice actor did a pretty good job in my opinion and the mystery in the game makes me want to go back later to see what's going on. If you are interested, please check it out.

#The Shades of Red #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #visual novel #ongoing

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mezz-merizing · 6 months ago

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do you ever get fixated on simple words related to hypnosis??

i've vagued about this idea and talked a lot about how language connects to the art of hypnotism before but i've never made a proper post about these fun little word ties. but i feel like once you've crossed a certain hypnohorny point you start to get aroused by like, parts of the dictionary. and who can blame you?? the nature of language is that it carries meaning. its mechanism- and similarly, the mechanism of hypnosis- is the ability to incept you, to put ideas in your head

there are a lot of really good mantras out there but i think one of my favourites and one of the most effective (for me at least!!) is the most simple one: "i'm hypnotized" a longtime hypnosub has so many ties and associations with that word. with being Hypnotized. it's so deeply ingrained in your mind and in your psyche that you don't need it described to you, and most of the time you can't even describe it. you're just hypnotized

because at the end of the day hypnosis is a state that's unique to everyone, and you're always going to have very unique, very self-identifying ties to its meaning!! so often, when you've been around the trance block a billion times, what can be just as effective as describing your trance to you is simply reminding you that you ARE in trance, and conjuring up all the feelings related to that

i get so much out of being firmly, authoritatively reminded that i'm deeply hypnotized. being informed that i'm being brainwashed. they're concepts with so much power and meaning and history in my life that just being told the simple factual truth outright makes me shudder and sigh

i think this- these associations- are a large part of why so many things in our hypnokink culture work so well. on a fundamental level, spirals are kinda silly, right?? there's nothing INHERENTLY hypnotic about a spinning shape, besides being a pretty useful focus object in how they draw your gaze to the center and keep it there, but that's just it!! there doesn't have to be anything inherently hypnotic about a spiral for it to be an INCREDIBLY powerful hypnotic tool because it reminds you of hypnosis. you associate it with all the times you've been in a deep trance, eyes wide open and fixated on the center point, and that association digs its roots into your mind and sends you back to that state

so many things are like this. finger snaps, pocket watches, the word Sleepy, none of them have any intrinsic hypnotic power but they all have SO much power over all of us, because they're an extension of the power that other people have had over us. at the end of the day, that's what it is- these are tools that someone used to control you.

and that association can be a very, very potent thing :3

#hypnok1nk #hypnosis #brainwashing #hypnotism #mind control #hypnoslut

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thefaiao · 5 months ago

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Do you remember what hooked you on the LISA series? It's a decently impactful set of games so I'm curious as to why you've created so many drawings from it

A great question. I don't think I can answer this with absolute precision, but I'll try. I'll begin explaining how exactly I first got into drawing LISA, and we'll work from there to the reason I believe I am still compelled to draw more of it.

I first played and finished LISA at the end of 2016. I was decently active at that point, but hadn't garnered much attention to my drawings. I had made a Hotline Miami post that had gotten decently popular, and a few Yogscast(1)(2)(3) drawings that also did decently well, but overall nothing super noteworthy. Most Yog fans at the time weren't into what I liked mainly, which was Shadow of Israphel.

I was immature at the time, so had a hard time connecting with people in fandoms. Not to mention, I was a Brasilian in a sea of Americans and Europeans. You'd be surprised how hard it was to relate with people in that setting, but I tried here and there.

I felt pretty strongly about the HM post though, since it felt like a great personal achievement. I felt a drawing I had a clear vision for had achieved what I set out to do with it. Seeing how much people liked it, it was pretty magical when you've never had a post "do well".

Anyway, people were hopping out of tumblr and onto twitter, and I did as well. Twitter, despite everything, sort of puts you way closer to other people. Your reply to someone important is very visible and hard to ignore. It was a type of equalizer. There I had gotten to get my drawings actually seen and shared by Austin, the guy who made the LISA games.

Having had my drawings shared and recognized that way had a strong impact on me, and I even got to talk with an artist I really looked up to at the time, Maren, who had also gotten into LISA. She had done art for SBFP and TF2, so it felt surreal to me to be acknowledged by someone like that. Up to that point I really felt like more of a passive observer to everything.

In 2014 I finished high-school, and 2015 I spent the whole year learning how to draw better. I tried so hard that I ended up dissociating, a very scary emotion, that I didn't even know was a thing at the time. It felt like all that time and effort was starting to pay off, and that there was a way forward here.

First I posted sketches, and the passion I had for the game and motivation from the recognition led me to put a lot more effort than usual into my drawings. I ended up making these, which got really popular, it was very validating.

So because of all that I kept drawing. I'll be honest, a lot of the time I just wanted to get even more of the attention of these weird new cool popular friends that were paying attention to me for some reason. I was very lonely at the time. I think I stayed lonely for a long time after too.

But eventually people move on, as is normal with fandoms. I didn't really feel my passion for drawing and LISA die out though. I had started a massive LISA art project at the time, that took me 5 long years, and also was more focused in college, where I did Game Design.

Drawing wise, eventually I branched out to other RPGmaker games, but LISA was very easy to draw. It was sort of a home-base for me. Something I could come back to when I was uncertain.

I think Urasawa put it quite well, with Billy Bat:

Drawing the same characters over and over is extremely rewarding, and a great way to reflect on your progress so far. I suppose it's meditative, but that's not quite the right word. It's very fun and constructive, and people can also keep track of your progress through that. I did the same with OFF characters, a game I had drawn way before all this.

Of course, I had a lot of issues because of how things developed. I related a lot of my self-worth with the validation I received from people online, and I still do, to an extent...

When I started taking the game I'm making, Meanderer, more seriously, and started living alone, posting anything felt awful. I didn't have the energy for bombastic posts, or the time spent developing the way I draw the characters like I did for LISA, that is, with ease and style. It felt very humiliating, but I understand it was a warped view of things.

It was a long and depressing time in my life, but it taught me a few important lessons, and made me sort of re-evaluate how I engage with "online" overall. But I still liked drawing LISA throughout all of this, I almost felt ashamed of it to a certain point.

All of this isn't to say I didn't love the game itself. It wasn't all just context. I really, really love LISA. It drove me to sobbing tears, which I don't think another game has gotten out of me. It's a fantastic game, that really showed what fresh things you could do with the medium. When I played it I'm not sure I fully understood how much I loved games.

I just grew up with the characters of LISA. Maybe not in my adolescence, but definitely in my adulthood, and with my art. These characters help me orient myself, understand my limits. And it's damn fun to get better at drawing them. Even just a character on an empty blank canvas, with only black and white lines. It's the most fun in the whole world.

To finish it off, I have a general philosophy of not republishing drawings. So whenever I want to do a LISA post I have to draw a LISA post. Just keep drawing and drawing. Don't get hung up on one drawing or idolize one thing you did. Keep making things. It doesn't have to make sense. Just keep drawing.

(There was a power outage while writing this and I had to retype this whole damn post by the way. Appreciate it!)

#long post #talking

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tarotwithdanise · 2 years ago

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10 reasons why you should love yourself

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose a pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

rules, disclaimer and notes ☆

1. Just a quick disclaimer : This reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

2. Please ignore any grammatical errors on my reading since english is not my first language, thank you for understanding!

3. Third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you or the other person that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.

4. Lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)

for tips, donation, masterlist and paid readings ☆

TIPS JAR DONATION BOX

MASTERLIST PAID READING SERVICES

[ ♡ ] check out my second account @danisetarot.

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits and reading itself goes and belong to yours truly. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider.

Pile one

You don't take bullsh*t from others.

Your opinion is way more matters for you rather than other people opinion of you now.

You are good at dancing.

You are highly connected to divine and spiritual realm.

You have a strong fighting spirit.

Cutting people off for you is like as if you were cutting a paper pad. Too easy.

You've got a brightest smile and pretty hands.

You prefer few friends rather than a bunch of friends who are just fake and plastic. Quality over quantity.

You always want to grow and learn from your mistakes.

You are brutally honest person.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile two

You are good with arts, crafting, sewing, music or painting.

You are unique, feels like a weirdo from everyone else. (aquarius?)

You prefer old fashion rather than to keep up with the trends.

You have a peaceful and positive mindset.

You have a nice thighs.

You are passionate and hardworking about your work.

You always stay focus at your project, seems like you are perfectionist individual.

You are a great listener and advisor, probably someone who is there for everyone. A friend that can rely on with.

You are good at reading and observing people.

You are quite person but d*adly scary.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile three

You love taking care of yourself, you prepare for your daily healthy foods and keep yourself hydrated everytime.

You are good at guiding other's, someone who can be a teacher, tarot reader or a leader itself.

You have a high respect for people especially for your parents.

Many people love you online or in real life.

You are grateful that God give and provide your everyday life. You are thankful that God has given you another chance to live again, to prove and improve yourself.

You love the sound of rain while reading your favorite book.

You like reading newspapers even though through online sites and watching documentaries.

The fears you are fearing before, you can deal with them now.

You are creative human, there's something new up and something incredible happening to your mind 24/7.

You finally learn how to say ‘no’ with those things and someone that you think won't serve you. You rather be hated for who you truly are rather than to be someone else who faked everything.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile four

You are soft-hearted individual.

You have a sexy body.

You have this mindset - it's okay to cry then start to fight again for tomorrow and for your future.

You are determined and doesn't give up easily.

You know how to pampered yourself when you have money.

Even though you doesn't seems see yourself as a good leader atleast you always perceived yourself as great team player.

You know how to handle and organize your own time and things.

You think your ship doesn't yet come to the shore and so, you knew there's a lot of lessons for you to uncover in this lifetime.

You are someone who know themselves well, someone who knew that they have strengths, weakness, positive and negative traits about themselves. In short, you accept your own flaws.

You have a strong faith.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile five

You are lucky and grateful about your life and about yourself.

You are kind to yourself and to others.

You are lovable individual, partner, son/daughter and best friend.

Type of person is not easy to get fooled and scammed.

You know how to discipline yourself about something or someone.

You can deal with your personal issues alone without the help of others. Maybe sometimes when you badly needed it.

You have this quote ‘loving yourself first before loving others’.

You know how to have fun and you know how to joke around with other people. You have a jolly and positive energy.

You have a perfect eyebrows?like even though you don't casually wear brows pencil.

You only have you in this world and you have your family.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile six

You have unpredictable nature, that may lots of people wonder what were you thinking.

You are very secretive and mysterious individual.

You look good in every outfits and styles you wear.

You know how to forgive and forget others. But you don't give chances.

You have a great story and will, to share with people.

You have a beautiful and graceful ; soul, body and mind.

You know how to celebrate your own victory. You are happy in small things.

You are generous individual.

You usually have a good music and artist taste.

You know how to defend yourself in a bad situation.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years ago

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Hello hello friendo! I was wondering if I could request a Wally x wolf puppet reader? the scenario being that the other neighbors are afraid of R (reader) no matter what due to them looking like a big 'bad' wolf, R's appearance is quite frightful; stitches in a few places along with big teeth and claws plus they are on the large size (roughly Barnaby's size, if not a bit shorter). While on the outside they look all mean they are actually really sweet and just want to make friends.

"Do you think I'm doing something wrong, Wally? 'cuz I feel...unwanted here."

"No, no. You've done nothing wrong, Neighbor! What made you think of such silly things?"

"...well everyone's still acting like I'm gonna eat them for breakfast."

"Breakfast?? Why, that's nonsense. Breakfast is composed of bacon, eggs, juice, and toast..not people!"

"Uh, that was just a....nevermind." Sighing, you shook your head as you gave up trying to explain the idiom to Wally. But having this conversation with him over the phone did manage to cheer you up a little.

How you wished it was this easy talking to the rest of the neighbors, though they were all absolutely terrified of you and would've hung up the second they heard your voice.

Fortunately, Wally had recently learned a valuable lesson from Barnaby, who told him that he should never "judge a book by its cover". And he lived by that philosophy every time a newcomer came to town, whether they stayed or left.

You were no exception despite being a rather frightening-looking wolf with large sharp teeth, untrimmed claws, and stitches all over your body that made you look like a zombie. Of course, your clothes covered most of them, yet they didn't fully hide all of the things your neighbors were afraid of.

Of course, it didn't help that you're the child of The Big Bad Wolf...but you're nothing like him! You're not deceptive or evil in any way; all you wanted to do was make new friends.

But that was tough to prove when someone screamed if you so much as smiled at them.

Poppy was understandable, given she was a bird who already had some anxiety issues to begin with. And Barnaby was alright since you're both tall canines (and even then, he was still the taller one). He tolerated your presence and can stand being in the same room as you.

As for Julie, Eddie, Frank, Sally, and Howdy....you unintentionally scared them out of their wits.

For instance, you visited Howdy's bugdega for the first time to get groceries, and he ducked behind the register as you approached. The poor guy sounded like he was in tears as he stuttered that everything was free of charge.

Back then you thought he was having a bad day..but even outside of work, he seldom talked to you out of fear.

How naïve were you..

At least you had Wally, though, considering he's able to have normal chats with you both on the phone and in person. He still kept his joyful tone when speaking to you, and when you left he'd turn around to scold the others for "overreacting".

Honestly, he was growing tired of them treating you this way and not taking his advice. No neighbor deserved to feel so unwelcomed.

You weren't scary at all! He'll prove it!

And now he finally got an idea that he believed would work.

"Say, [y/n]..whatdya think about coming with me to the park?" He suggested. "I'm organizing a little painting lesson, and at the end we're all gonna paint something we like! If everyone's there and sees us getting along, they'll finally see how nice you really are!"

"You think so?" Your ears perked up, a small smile forming on your face as your tail began lightly wagging, thumping against the furniture.

While you haven't done any art since settling into the community, this hangout seemed to be a good place to sharpen your skills and, hopefully, make some friends. If they saw you indulging in a passion, you'll be able to connect with them more.

"Yup! I think it'll work! So are you in or out?"

"I'm in."

"Great! See you in an hour!"

Your smile dropped. "Wait, it's toda-?"

However, you didn't get the chance to finish as you heard the 'click' on the other end, realizing he hung up. You sighed and hung up your phone, too.

The thought of seeing everybody at the park so soon had you feeling anxious all over again, but you tried shaking off your worries, not wanting them to deter you from going. You couldn't disappoint Wally after how hopeful he sounded.

So instead you focused on making lunch for yourself before packing some art supplies together, finding a canvas or sketchbook to bring with you.

And about an hour later, you were fully prepared.

'It'll be fine..Wally's gonna be there..' You told yourself, taking a few deeps breaths, heading out the door with your head held high.

Surely, the neighbors will finally change their mind about you once they see that you shared a similar hobby as them..

Right?

.......

It turns out you were wrong.

As Wally hosted his painting lesson in the park, going over how to paint different figures and scenes step-by-step...most of the gang could barely focus on what he was saying.

Instead, their eyes were anxiously fixated on you as you tried ignoring them and listened to his words. Whenever you made direct eye contact with any of them, they'd quickly look away and shudder, their hands shaking as they pretended to paint or draw.

They kept their canvases close to their chest, as though you were gonna pounce and tear it to shreds if they let their guard down.

Obviously, Wally took notice of this fast and would ask them questions about what he just said, his smile slowly turning into a frown as some stuttered out answers..while others just didn't catch it the first time around.

You only expected this, although you did manage to impress everybody with your scenery of a moonlit sky after accomplishing the final task of painting something you liked.

But it wasn't enough for Wally. They only complimented you because they were scared you'll get angry if they said the wrong thing...he could just tell by their shifty gazes.

They're just pretending.

After everybody eventually left for home, as the sun was going down, you stayed in the park with Wally. He was still sitting motionless on the same flat rock, having already put his supplies away.

You frowned as you approached him, not knowing what's gotten into him lately

Of course this hangout wasn't going to immediately make you everybody's best friend, but you didn't think he'd be this upset.

If anything it should have been you who was upset, though you believed things went quite well considering nobody ran away from you this time around.

Unfortunately, Wally begged to differ, given how he hasn't spoken a word to you since everyone else left.

"Wally?" Crouching down in front of him, you tilted your head. "What's wrong?"

"...I don't get it."

"..look, it's okay-" You went to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, only for him to suddenly look up at you with frustration in his wide eyes. Even his pupils seemed to tremble as he spoke.

"No, it's not okay. I-I..I know they can't help it but..I thought they trusted me, Neighbor. I planned all of this so they could stop being scared of you! And yet...they..." He trailed off, fingers trembling as they curled into his pants. "They're never gonna change...are they?"

"They can. They just need some more time." You tried to reason, yet he shook his head.

"But how much longer will it be until y--?" He started, but quickly stopped upon seeing the flashes of concern in your eyes, shrinking away.

"...until I what, Wally?"

"........"

"Are you...scared that I might leave one day?" You finally connected the dots. "Is that why you're so upset over all of this?"

Given his silence as he looked back down at the ground, that basically confirmed your answer.

Now it all made sense.

"Oh, buddy.." You hugged him close, feeling him flop against you as he rested his head on your fluffy chest. "You don't have to worry about that. It's gonna take a lot more than just a few skittish people to kick me out."

"But..you're so nice...and I don't know why they can't see that.." He mumbled, slowly hugging you back. "I swear I've tried everything-"

"You don't have to do anything more, Wally. I appreciate what you've done, but..you don't need to be stressed for my sake. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll even pinky promise it for ya."

After a long silence you felt him nod, and you smiled, relieved that he trusted you.

Soon you let each other go and made that pinky promise, sealing the deal. You could see that lifted a huge burden off his shoulders--one you didn't even realize he was trying to carry this whole time--as his own smile returned.

"C'mon. It's getting late. I'll walk ya back home." You suggesting, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

"Haha..that's usually my job, Neighbor." The blue-haired puppet chuckled as he fixed up his messy pompadour. "But thank you. I'll take up your kind offer!"

#clanask #anonymous #welcome home x reader #wally darling x reader #wolf reader #puppet reader #monster reader #oop my WH interest was slipping but im back babey!!!!!!!!!#platonic

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hopelessdelusional · 4 days ago

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matt sturniolo x influencer! reader

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

reader is grunge! a singer! and on social media (this is very niche i apologize) i will be building this AU more so stay tuned!

｡･:*˚:✧

hey so i’ve hyper fixated onto an CIS. STRAIGHT. WHITE. BOY. someone put me down i cannot do this anymore please this is a cry for help needs to euthanize me-

｡･:*˚:✧

enjoy ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ᗜ^)

join the taglist

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ homebase

to start, you have been close friends with jake for a long time, and thru him you met tara and johnny before meeting the triplets

jake pretty much always has you in his videos, so much so whenever you aren't in a video the fans have started to request for your presence on videos that don't have you in them

you're not all that active on social media, only posting random covers of your favorite songs on your youtube channel and random tiktoks

in jake's videos you are always making him laugh, and out of the two you're more calm with a dry sense of humor

'...do you like it?"

"yeah because me immediately spitting it out and chugging my drink after eating it obviously shows how much i love this fucking candy"

"hey jake did you want to get dinner tonight-"

"..."

"why the fuck is johnny in a baby costume."

in tara's videos you and her literally talk for HOURS and the way tara could make four separate videos from one recorded hang out is ridiculous

with Carrington the two of you easily match each other's energy, always giggling in the back of videos

you've also done singing collabs with jake and johnny! there are a couple of songs that just have your background vocals and then others with actual verses

you haven't released any songs though due to stress and anxiety, feeling too pressured to write the

"perfect" song so you settle with being a feature

besides that you really just mind your business with college, your job, and hanging out with friends

tara was actually the one who introduced you to nick

and through nick….you met matt

.・。.・✭・.・✫・゜・。.

matt who was excited to meet nick’s new friend who he was talking abt nonstop

“hey guys! yn is here!”

nick swings the door wide open, smiling widely as he stomps in the house. you follow in quickly, nervous to meet nick’s brothers. your friendship with nick came naturally, having many things to connect with. that being said, you weren’t sure if you could create a relationship with his brothers as easily as you did with him.

fiddling with your clothes you wave politely at the boys, surprised to see both of them walk up to you and hug you. granted it was swift hugs, but it immediately created a softer environment, causing you to relax immensely.

matt who immediately noticed how you looked uncomfortable and took the first step to hug you

“i like your outfit,” matt said after chris broke away from you. he gave you a small smile, making you smile in return. before you could respond however, chris started talking to the group.

nick had already decided on having dinner at home, so you settled in leaning on the kitchen island watching nick and chris argue over what to make for dinner. matt walks over to you, putting his hands in his pockets.

“don’t worry i could never replace you guys,” you tease, when you see him across from you. he giggles in reaponse, his eyes never leaving your face.

“cool tattoos,” he points out which surprised you. looking down at your arm, you smiled admiring the work you’ve gotten done over the years.

“thank you! you also have some gnarly tats.”

matt smiled at you, flexing his arm a little bit to show off his whole sleeve.

“is that the only place you have tattoos?” you question, suddenly curious about his body art. matt nodded, then looked at you with a small smile.

“does that mean you have more?” the question made you laugh because he seemed almost shy asking you, so when you nodded enthusiastically and started to give him a quick tour all over your body. lifting your shirt up was funny for you, because you could tell matt wanted to be thoughtful and not look but when you reassured him he hesitated at first but eventually awed at them. his reactions were so lively, making you appreciate how focused and compassionate. he praised you for your own ideas and for the tattoos that meant something, and still thought your random and silly tattoos were interesting.

after you finished showing him you were practically gleaming, it had been a while since you had been able to speak so much of the tattoos that littered your body. every single one of them had meant so much to you and being able to share that with someone; especially someone as excited and appreciative as you are.

“you’re really cool, i can see why nick enjoys hanging out with you so much.”

you and matt were sitting down in the living room now, leaving chris and nick to prepare dinner for the evening. talking came easily after the tour of your tattoos, matt showing you his and the conversation flowed better than you dreamed it to be.

you chuckled at matt’s comment, finding his eye contact was making you squirmish in your seat.

“nick is so much cooler than me, but i don’t mind i really enjoy being friends with him. plus now i have two new friends so that’s a bonus.”

matt laughed at your response, running a hand through his hair now avoiding eye contact with you.

“yeah, i’m grateful nick brought you around.”

matt who couldn’t take his eyes off of you for the rest of the evening, which did not go unnoticed by his brothers

“don’t steal my new best friend from me matt!” nick yelled out dramatically after yn left, making matt shake his head.

“you should let matt have their number,” chris mumbled, still focused on the game he was playing. nick gasped dramatically before agreeing, making the boys laugh with how quickly he switched up his emotions.

“just don’t steal them!” nick threatened, but matt was already too excited to text you to listen.

matt who got your number and could not stop texting you, and he especially couldn’t stop smiling every time you texted him back

“matt i need backup,” chris said frantically, his eyes glued to the computer and fingers moving at the speed of light on the controllers. when matt doesn’t respond, chris huffs and repeats himself.

“matt seriously dude where the fuck are you?!”

matt finishes up typing and looks up, oblivious to the game that they were losing.

“oh shit,” he mumbled, putting his phone down and picking his controller back up.

“you weren’t even playing?” chris yelled out, frustrated with their status. nick pipes up from the bed, suddenly curious. he peaks his head over and sees matt’s phone light up, watching matt immediately lose his focus to look at his phone. matt straightens up, wanting to reach for his phone before chris cursed loudly, drawing his attention away from the text. nick squints, thankful that he was wearing his glasses and sees the name on his phone to his disbelief. yn sent a text, then another one, and then another one. his jaw dropped, and his gasp was so loud it startled his brothers.

“nick! oh my god,” chris started to laugh when his fear settled down. nick still had his mouth wide open, only causing chris to laugh harder.

“you’re gonna catch flies kid,” matt snickered. nick slowly turned his head to matt, mouth still open, in a very dramatic motion.

“yn? you stole my best friend?”

matt froze, a slow blush creeping up from his neck to his cheeks. chris eyed his brothers from his peripheral vision, jaw also dropping.

“that’s why you’ve been so preoccupied? damn my boy has a crush,” chris started to chuckle, causing nick to scream and matt to drop his controller covering his face in embarrassment.

matt who gets jealous whenever you and nick go out like he wants to hang out with u too :(

matt who finally gets the nerve to ask you to hang out with him, after nick decides he’s had enough of matt complaining about how “you never invite me-or chris!” (he has to add the chris part to not sound too obvious)

matt stood nervously at the door, fiddling with his keys in his hands. he finally knocked, immediately hearing rummaging around behind the door. matt couldn’t help but smile, wondering what you were doing right now. were you just as nervous to hang out with him one on one?

suddenly, the door swings wide open, and you’re in the doorway smilingly widely.

“hey! come in!”

matt who had so much fun hanging out with you.

the two of you went to antiques and thrift stores, grabbed some dinner and went back to your place to spend the rest of the evening together. the two of you got along so well he ended up staying until 12AM because you wanted to finish watching the show you started, not that matt was complaining. he was tempted to ask to stay over (and you were tempted to ask him to stay over) but he didn’t want things to be awkward. so he left late into the night, after you gave him a tackling hug, asking to hang out again soon

matt who started to call you every night, and although you two texted all day you never ran out of things to talk about.

matt who is really starting to fall for you

.・。.・✭・.・✫・゜・。.

k bye ily🩶

#matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x gn!reader #matt sturniolo x gender neutral reader #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #gender neautral reader #gn reader #gn!reader

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 6 days ago

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The Secret Portal Ask Game

Got this idea from @mk-writes-stuff and @illarian-rambling who made ask games based on their WIPs!

So here's mine for TSP! Feel free to reblog so people can send you asks!!! You don't have to know anything about TSP to play :)

*OC asks*

Lexi - what makes your OC anxious?

Maddie - how reckless with their own safety/health is your OC?

Ash - is there anything your OC desires so strongly they'd act "out of character" to get it?

Gwen - describe your OC's view on reading

Noelle - what is your OC's relationship with their parents?

Rose - how does your OC's external persona differ from the person they are in their head?

Kelsey - how does your OC interact with children?

Robbie - how far will your OC go to protect those they care about?

Akash - what are your OC's insecurities?

Jedi - what does your OC regret?

Carmen - what drives your OC?

Carla - how does your OC react to free time?

George - what lengths will your OC go to in order to help those they love?

Liam - what is an unpopular opinion your OC has?

Ewan - what music does your OC like?

Jazlyn - how does your OC feel about the concept of family?

Wade - which of your OCs is the leader and why?

Parker - what's the most reckless thing your OC has done?

Tyler - is there someone from your OC's past that haunts them in the present?

Gabriel - how stubborn is your OC?

Niri - how seriously does your OC take their hobbies?

Sam - how much does the opinion of others affect your OC?

Hye-Jin - how romantic is your OC?

Alex - how does your OC interact with strangers?

Issa - are there any parts of your OC's personality that they intentionally hide?

CJ - describe how much your OC needs other people in their life

Wendy - what topic could your OC talk about for hours?

Anathi - what does your OC do in their free time?

Teo - who would your OC turn the world over for?

Xitlali - what is your OC's biggest problem with society?

Atsila - does your OC consider themselves a hero and is it true?

Raissa - how far is your OC willing to go to get what they believe is right?

*World Building asks*

Alium - describe your world

Ceteri - how does your world differ from ours?

Sector 1 - what ways to get involved in the community?

Sector 2 - what are some traditions your world has? Are they good, bad, or neutral?

Sector 3 - what kind of art is unique to your world?

Sector 4 - how important is family valued in your world?

Sector 5 - how much knowledge available to the general public?

Sector 6 - who are some heroic figures either in the past or present?

Sector 7 - how does authority discipline others?

Sector 8 - what gets in the way of progress?

Sector 9 - generally speaking, how much do the citizens respect the government?

Sector 10 - what are some of the values held by the people of your world?

McLain base - describe an average home in your world

Asghar base - what are the most dangerous places in your world?

Gateway - what is the most important place in your world?

Falcon Intermediate - how is the education system in your world?

*Writing process asks*

Superstrength - what is your biggest strength as a writer?

Superspeed - how do you pace yourself?

Flight - what part of writing is the most freeing?

Invisibility - what's a bit of writing you hope no one ever sees?

Healing - how have you grown as a writer?

Hydrokinesis - what is your go-to beverage when writing?

Terrakinesis - how do you plan or build your story?

Pyrokinesis - what part of writing gets you the most excited?

Aerokinesis - what is the easiest part of writing?

Intangibility - how have you stepped out of your comfort zone?

Teleportation - where are you in the process of your WIP?

Telepathy - what part of the writing is the hardest part?

Telekinesis - what brought you to writing?

Shapeshifting - how many genres do you write in?

Electromagnokinesis - what other works can you connect to your writing?

Photokinesis - what are the happiest, lightest scenes you've written?

Umbrakinesis - what are some of the darkest scenes you've written?

Ergokinesis - does writing get you pumped up or make you tired?

Dimensiokinesis - what's your favorite part of world building?

Chronokinesis - what would you tell your younger self about writing?

Essokinesis - what genres do you never want to write?

Mimicry - how do you learn new writing techniques?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

#the secret portal #teaspoon #tsp #writing ask game #asks #send asks #ask game #writing asks #oc asks #oc ask game #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community

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axlerica · 1 year ago

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SECOND CHANCES~

-The One Where Trust Was Broken-

Pedri's fame and flirtations lead to the end of his relationship with Y/N. When they meet again, he begged for a second chance. Can they overcome the past and find a second chance at love? A journey of healing and rediscovery.

Once upon a time, in a bustling city of Barcelona. Y/N and Pedri were two young hearts who fell deeply in love. They met by chance at a local coffee shop, bonding over their shared love for art and poetry. Their connection was instant, and soon, they became inseparable.

As Pedri's football career began to take off, the demands of his new life as a professional player started to take a toll on their relationship. The long training hours, constant media attention, and traveling with the team made it increasingly difficult for him to spend time with Y/N.

One evening, after a particularly challenging match, Y/N decided to surprise Pedri at his apartment. As she opened the door, her heart sank at the sight before her. Pedri was surrounded by a group of girls, laughing and enjoying themselves.

Her voice shook as she confronted him, "Pedri, what's going on here?"

Pedri turned towards her, his face pale with guilt. "Y/N, it's not what it looks like," he stammered, trying to explain.

But Y/N couldn't bear to hear any more. Tears welled up in her eyes as she choked back the words, "I trusted you, Pedri. How could you do this to me?"

Pedri reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away, feeling betrayed and hurt. "I didn't think it would hurt you this much, We were just having a party. That’s all.” he admitted.

"How could you not think it would hurt me?" Y/N's voice trembled with anger and sadness. "We were supposed to be in this together, but you've become so distant, so careless."

Pedri tried to explain, "I've been under so much pressure, and I made a mistake. These girls, they don't mean anything to me, I swear."

But Y/N couldn't bear to hear any more excuses. "I can't do this, Pedri. I can't be with someone who doesn't value our love," she said, her voice trembling with pain.

As tears streamed down her cheeks, she turned and walked away, leaving Pedri standing there, filled with regret and remorse. He knew he had made a grave mistake, and the consequences of his actions were too painful to bear.

In the following days, Pedri tried to reach out to Y/N, desperate to apologize and make amends. But the damage was done, and Y/N couldn't bring herself to forgive him. The heartbreak was too deep, and she knew she had to prioritize her own happiness and well-being.

And so, their once beautiful love story ended in heartbreak and sorrow. Pedri's fame and the pressures of his football life led him astray, and Y/N had to find the strength to heal and move forward without him.

In the years that followed, Pedri became one of the greatest footballers in the world, achieving incredible success on the field. But deep down, he always carried the regret of losing the one person who had loved him unconditionally.

As for Y/N, she focused on her art and her travels, finding solace in the beauty of the world around her. Though scarred by the past, she learned to cherish the memories of their time together and embraced the journey of healing and self-discovery.

Two years after the breakup , Pedri's attempts to reach out to Y/N remained unanswered. Each unanswered call and unopened message deepened the chasm between them. As the weight of his fame grew heavier, Pedri's personality started to change.

The adoration and praise from fans, coupled with his on-field success, fueled his ego. Pedri became more distant from his teammates, spending his time surrounded by a new group of people who were enamored by his stardom. The once humble and grounded player began to develop an air of arrogance, losing sight of the values that had endeared him to others in the first place.

His teammates noticed the change, and some tried to offer guidance, reminding him of the person he used to be. But Pedri brushed them off, convinced that he knew better. He no longer felt the need to work hard or prove himself, believing that his talent alone was enough to maintain his status.

Meanwhile, Y/N focused on rebuilding her life and finding happiness outside of the football world. Though the pain of their breakup still lingered, she was determined to move forward. She immersed herself in her art, traveling to different places and finding inspiration in every corner of the world.

One day, as Pedri was scrolling through his social media feed, he came across a post from Y/N. Her artwork was showcased in an art gallery, and the comments were filled with admiration for her talent and creativity.

For a moment, Pedri's heart tugged at the sight of her success, but he quickly dismissed the feeling. His ego had grown too large, and he couldn't bear to see her thriving without him.

Time passed, and Pedri's arrogance only intensified. He relished the attention and privileges that came with his fame, often disregarding the feelings and needs of those around him. His former humility seemed like a distant memory, replaced by a haughty demeanor that rubbed others the wrong way.

As the years went by, Pedri's career continued to flourish, but his personal life remained empty. He had attained fame and wealth, but the void left by his broken relationship with Y/N lingered, and no amount of success could fill it.

On a rainy evening, as Pedri sat alone in his luxurious penthouse, he found himself reminiscing about the love he had lost. He realized that he had become a shell of the person he once was and that his fame had brought him more loneliness than joy.

In a moment of clarity, he decided to look up Y/N's number once again, hoping to reconnect after all this time. But as he dialed her number, his heart sank when he heard the familiar automated message stating that the number was no longer in service.

Pedri's eyes filled with tears, realizing that he had let go of the one person who truly loved him for who he was. He had become too blinded by fame and his own self-importance to see the value of their love.

And so, in the bustling city where fame and success reigned, Pedri's journey had come full circle. The once humble and kind-hearted young man had become a shadow of his former self, while the woman who had loved him unconditionally had found her own path to happiness and fulfillment.

As the rain poured outside, Pedri sat alone, reflecting on the choices he had made and the person he had become. The road to fame had come at a high cost, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was worth losing the love that had once meant everything to him.

—————————

One gloomy afternoon, as raindrops fell gently on the city's streets, Pedri found himself seeking solace in their favorite coffee shop – the very place where their love story had begun. He ordered his usual, a cortado, and settled into a corner booth, lost in a sea of memories that flooded his mind.

Little did he know that fate had other plans for him that day. As he sipped his coffee, he looked up, and his heart skipped a beat. There, standing just a few feet away, was Y/N. She looked as radiant as ever, her eyes twinkling like stars in the night sky.

For a moment, time stood still. Pedri's heart raced, unsure of what to do next. The memories of their past love and the pain of their breakup weighed heavily on him. His ego and arrogance seemed to vanish, leaving him vulnerable and exposed.

Y/N noticed Pedri's gaze, and her eyes met his. The air was charged with unspoken emotions. She hesitated for a moment, unsure if she should approach him after all these years.

Pedri swallowed hard, gathering his courage. He stood up and took a step towards Y/N, his heart pounding in his chest. "Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with a mix of apprehension and hope.

Y/N's eyes softened as she looked at him. "Pedri," she replied, her voice equally tender. "It's been a long time."

He nodded, a lump forming in his throat. "I know, and I've missed you," he admitted, his vulnerability shining through.

She gave him a sad smile, "I missed you too, but things have changed, Pedri. We've both moved on."

He took a deep breath, "I know I made a lot of mistakes back then. My ego got the best of me, and I lost sight of what truly mattered."

Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity. "Pedri, it's okay. We were both young, and life took us in different directions."

He reached out to touch her hand gently, "But I never stopped loving you, Y/N. I was a fool to let you go."

She looked down, her heart torn between the past and the present. "Pedri, we can't change the past. We can only learn from it and move forward," she said, her voice trembling.

Pedri nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. "I understand, but I just had to tell you how much you meant to me. I'll always cherish the memories we shared."

Y/N's gaze softened, and she gave him a bittersweet smile. "I'll cherish them too, Pedri. But we both need to find our own happiness now."

They stood there, facing each other, the weight of their history heavy in the air. As the rain continued to fall outside, they knew it was time to say their goodbyes once again.

Pedri's heart ached as he watched Y/N walk away, knowing that he had let go of the person who had loved him unconditionally. He had lost her once, and now, he had to come to terms with the consequences of his choices.

As Y/N walked away, Pedri's heart couldn't bear the thought of losing her again. With a rush of adrenaline, he made a split-second decision and ran after her through the pouring rain.

"Y/N, please wait!" he called out, his voice filled with desperation.

She turned around, surprised to see him running towards her. The rain continued to fall heavily, but neither of them seemed to care about getting soaked.

Pedri stopped in front of her, his breathing heavy from both the run and the emotional turmoil inside him. "I can't let you go like this," he said, trying to steady his voice.

Y/N looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and regret in them. "Pedri, what are you doing?" she asked, her heart torn between wanting to give him another chance and protecting herself from potential hurt.

"I made a mistake, a big one, and I regret it every day," he confessed, his voice cracking. "I know I became arrogant and let my fame get to my head. But none of it mattered without you. You were the light of my life, and I lost sight of that."

Tears mixed with raindrops on Y/N's cheeks as she listened to his words. "Pedri, I loved you so much, but I couldn't bear the pain of watching you change. It broke my heart," she whispered.

"I know, and I'm so sorry for hurting you," he said, reaching out to gently wipe away her tears. "But I've learned from my mistakes, and I promise you, Y/N, I'll do whatever it takes to be a better person and be worthy of your love again."

Y/N took a step back, trying to compose herself. "Pedri, I can't just forget what happened. It hurt too much."

"I understand, and I don't expect you to forgive me right away," he said, his eyes pleading. "But please, give us another chance. Let me show you that I've changed."

As the rain poured down around them, Y/N hesitated, torn between the love she once had for Pedri and the pain of their past. She knew that forgiving him wouldn't be easy, but she also knew that deep down, her heart still longed for him.

"I need time, Pedri," she finally said, her voice barely audible over the rain.

"I'll wait for you, for as long as it takes," he vowed, reaching for her hand. "I'll prove to you that you're the most important thing in my life."

Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity. "If you truly mean that, then show me through your actions, not just your words," she said, holding back the tears.

Pedri nodded, determination in his gaze. "I promise, Y/N. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust and love back."

And so, with their hearts heavy with the weight of their past and the hope of a future, Pedri and Y/N stood in the rain, at the crossroads of love and forgiveness. Only time would tell if their love story would find its way back to the happiness they once shared.

Should I do a part 2 for this?

#pedri gonzalez #pedrito #pedri x reader #pedri x y/n #pedri imagine #pedri x you #imagine footballer #footballer #pedri angst #pedri fanfic #pedri #fc barcelona #barcalona

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