#how important they'd be to the other in the years to come
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This is the first time in a LONG time I've had access to tumblr with an *at home* device that I could just let myself out freely on.. so bare with me..
This is a perfect post for me to start my *incessant* rants with. First of all.. I remember VERY CLEARLY as a child that ALLL I wanted to do was grow up so I could leave the house, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.. I was a FIERCE advocate of independence. I was 11 years younger than my two twin sisters, and I IDOLIZED them.. There was this local bar in town they'd always go to with their best friend, Rachel, and it was called "Little Bit" back then. They'd go out basically every single weekend, plus a couple days during the week (this was a local, small town bar that never ID'd anybody, as it was also a college town so nobody gave a shit where the money for the alcohol/cover charges were coming from, as long as they were coming in)
I can remember countless evenings being alone as a child.. Most of my childhood, as a matter of fact. My sisters both had babies at 18, making their youngest children just 7 years younger than me. One of these twins ended up living with us for a little while, giving me the taste of what a little brother/sister (or even a child of my own, which I was NOT a fan of from day fucking ONE) would be like.. and honestly, this trend would end up carrying through a few more children from both sisters based on how much time I spent with said nieces/nephews. Anywho, one sister and her first child lived with us for an amount of time, not sure if I remember just how long.. All I remember is that it was long enough to make sure that this nephew is still, TO THIS DAY, my favorite nephew. But that hardly matters to the point of this post..
While I'm very happy for the things I've learned over the years I've been alive.. from an observant abusive childhood, to an almost divorced household, to teen pregnancy (not my own, obviously) to drug/alcohol problems from both sides of the family, including myself.. I can confidently say that I'd NEVER be at the point I'm at today, or as proud of myself as I am and as in love with who I've turned out to be as a woman, without the trials and tribulations I've faced. Obviously everyone says that to a degree.. but I genuinely mean it.
I've had my fair share of EARTH SHATTERING heartbreak.. more times that I'd like to relive. And honestly, as childish and useless as it sounds.. these romantic heartbreaks have taught me more than most life lessons have.. about love, pain, trust, loyalty, and how fragile the human connection can be. It can be severed in an instant if we all let it.. Obviously death is a little different than regular earthly separation.. But you catch my drift.. I say all this just to make a very vague point..
E V E R Y T H I N G you go through in life is for a MOTHER FUCKING R E A S O N - and more important than that, it's A L L FUCKING T E M P O R A R Y. You learn something from each and every single situation you go through.. No matter whether it's self inflicted or not. Honestly, you sometimes learn more from the self inflicted wounds than you do any others.. I know that's the case with me. And as much as any of those wounds hurt.. whether it was romantic heartbreak, losing a best friend after X amount of years for no real apparent reason, or even a death in the family (even if death hits me differently/less aggressively than it hits most people.. the death of both of my parents happening about 18 months apart when I hadn't even moved out of the house yet was an EXTREMELY low blow.. even if I never admit it to the general public).. Or even on a smaller scale.. work heartbreaks.. your favorite coworker leaving finally to move onto their dream job, or one that just pays more that they didn't bring you along with.. having to quit a job you were really enjoying and learning a lot from and wanted to turn into a career because they weren't valuing you, or the fucking U.S. DOLLAR the way they should have been and you were tired of coat-tailing off your male, non romantic roommate because it was just flat out awkward to ask the man for financial help all the time..
I'm rambling at this point, and it's probably because I've had QUITE a bit to drink (as per usual..) but today, I DESERVE IT, DAMNIT! I finally passed my written/driver's license exams so I finally got my drivers license back after SEVERAL years of driving illegally and paranoid.. I got my nails done (completely unintentionally a Valentine's day theme) and they're BEAUTIFUL.. the man I'm in love with that claims he doesn't actually wanna be with me, but he really does (as terrible as that sounds, I don't think the situation is as doomed as it sounds.. hear me out on future posts lol) went to dinner with me last night and lingered a bit longer than he usually does with any of our friend group.. together or individually.. and he kept using the triangle method on me where he'd look in both my eyes, then at my lips.. and based on the fact that we just had one of the most passionate fucks of our entire relationship not even a month ago and it's pretty obvious that he wants to do it again just tells me that it's not all over with.. that and the fact that NOT A SINGLE EX has ever stayed away completely. I just know it's not ever between us, and thank GOD.. that break up nearly shattered me completely and make it to where I had to admit myself into a mental institution and take a literal mental break from the planet for a while.. God don't get me started with how much I love this man and how much I PRAY that we end up together one day. After all, I've lasted longer than any other woman that he's dated after he got his divorce ;)
I say all that seemingly random ass shit to say this - if you're going through a hard time.. please don't give up. reach out to me. you an find beauty in the world at whatever age you are, no matter what you've been through. While I'm still young, I've been through my own fair share of shit, then most of my family's fair share of shit because I'm so God damn empathetic that it's detrimental to my health at this point.. Just trust me.. I'm here if you need me, even if I don't know you or if you wanna hit me up anonymously.. Don't go through whatever it is you're going through alone. Let me help you find the beauty in this fucked up world again. If I've found it as many times as I have with as much shit as I've fucked up/gone through.. I know I can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, too.
I love you. Hit me up anytime.
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Wout interview (in french) on Bistrot Vélo (FR Eurosport)
(starts at 3:00, ends at 25:20)
says hi that he's good and he did a long training today :)
asked if he's not getting a break after liévin and (jokingly) calls liévin a little pause before the classics training, he has lighter training tomorrow then leaves for mallorca on wednesday
Does he have regrets about liévin and his 4th line start:
"Yeah for sure, after the race when I saw it was possible for me to keep a bit of the same gap to mathieu, it's too bad that I wasn't here at the start in the first lap with him because then I could've put a little bit of pressure on him. Now, he has the luxury of controlling the race and not have the necessity of taking risks so... yeah that's a shame but when I decided to do the race I knew I was starting 4th line, it was my own choice to not do many cross races this year so it's stupid to wonder about it"
Added a bit about being blocked right at the start because of the tumblr in front of him and losing all of his speed. Took him almost one lap to have enough space to begin his own race.
asked about any belgian team strategy (teammates braking in front to let him come back etc) and if there was any in the first place:
"No no we talked in particular about the first lap because I thought at the start it was almost impossible to, when you're 2nd line you can think of a strat and someone lets you pass or something like that, but 4th line there are many other riders. We only discussed that they'd let me pass when I was here in the first lap in the top 10 so I can move faster towards Mathieu or towards the leaders of the race." adds they didnt discuss anything else because he doesn't believe strategies like that are doable, to which he's told "except with Tim Merlier in Zolder!". But it was another start and Tim was 2nd line he thinks. Calls it the "good old times".
Why make the choice to not do many cross races?
Talks about his vuelta crash, how he couldn't train until november but his condition was bad and he couldn't really go on runs, they decided it was possible to race some crosses in december. He didn't think his form would be good enough to get any result on a championship at the start. Few cross races with a lot of training between races but not a real racing block. Really happy to be at this level and was really happy to be able to go to wk.
When was the decision to go to wk made, big talks about they were soooo sure he was gonna go if he was good at maasmechelen and had been talking about it the whole season (they're just like us fr). They ask for the REAL TRUTH:
He doesnt seem to be saying the full truth :) but before maasmechelen he discussed with the belgian coach about wk being a possibility but it was a question of being able to wait until the last race to make a decision. Felt great in maasmechelen and had more and more fun. Said indirectly the beginning of the season was just one hour of pain (so I'm believing he's referring to loenhout?). Also heard the stories about liévin being a good course for him which helped him make his choice.
THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: When you see how good you are at Maasmechelen or Liévin don't you want to do more cx next winter? What if you gave it all for cx?
Says yeah the belgian crowd would love that but the belgian crowd also loves to see him do well in classics.
"I think towards the end of my career I see myself doing much more cx with a calendar of maybe 15 or 20 cx races again but at this point, all my friends from the road peloton are doing long trainings, long stages already all winter, so when you "lose" (hand gesture) to do cx, it gives a lot of advantages but you lose a lot of training time. It's difficult to find the balance and I think, what Mathieu and I did the last few years is possible, but it's difficult to do more."
Talking about RVV / PR (mostly PR 2023 and how they want to see that Wout again) :
This is what he wants to, he was here many times furing the dinale but many times not even here at the start. Talks about 2020 rvv sprint against Mathieu and how he thought he'd have so many opportunities but we're in 2025, was here in PR 2023 with the puncture but other than that wasn't even here to fight. Kinda says we must let things pass now and it's not easy but he stays focused on the best he can do and what is in his control.
Does opening weekend then 3 weeks training break for flanders classics. Last year, thinks he was maybe in the best form of his life but Yeah the crash. This is why they're trying the same strat this year and he thinks it's the right one.
Asking him which race of his program he wants to win the most:
Cant decide between RVV and PR, he thinks Roubaix is more specialn extraordinary, but as a flemish guy he can't not say RVV.
Doesn't want to choose, but says he's almost 80kg so he likes the flat roads of PR better. But likes the atmosphere of RVV the best out of all races, it's a bit like cross to him.
Race schedule talk. Asked if his more far away objectives (giro / tdf) aren't taking too much space in his mind and his training, comparing it to Mathieu's pinpoint race schedule:
Yes and no, but he's not doing any mountain / ITT training, only classics training until RVV / PR, so he stays focused until mid-april, but it's more about using the good condition he should have at this point to get good Giro results.
Mentions how fucking serious the tour always is with his team and thinks the giro will be more relaxed for him, more opportunities for him to control the race and sprint.
Hautacam dropping Pogi mention:
One extraordinary day in his life when he climbed very well, likes to watch the pictures of that day but he likes the flat routes better ^_^
Jokes that he's gonna win RVV / PR this year and go on vacation for the rest of the year.
Ciclamino/pink jersey objective?
Ciclamino : doesn't really have a goal for it because Olav Kooij is here and it will be complicated to lead him out AND take points in flat sprints. Would rather focus on stage wins.
Objective pink for the Albania start. Is not really interested in keeping it even tho he could keep it for 2 weeks. Thinks it's a waste of time + waste of opportunities for stage wins (not said but bc of not being late into every break obviously) and that he's gonna lose it in the end anyways
He's asked to come again for the last Bistrot Vélo of the season (since this is the first one) where they will discuss his cx planning 😃
#wout van aert#only steve chainel should be allowed to interview him again my guy only cares about the cx schedule#didnt reread anything sorry if there are typos
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bobby kennedy talking about jackie as a reporter for the washington times herald
(so you're telling me there's an actual possibility that bobby and jackie unofficially met while jackie was busy roaming the streets of washington interviewing people and inadvertently making an impression on a young new lawyer working at the department of justice before she was introduced to him as jack's girlfriend)
#they had no. idea!! no idea at all#how important they'd be to the other in the years to come#found this while watching a jackie documentary on internet archive#anyway the way that bobby calls her the inquiring photographer somebody sedate me immediately#as if he's recalling the exact moment jackie made her presence known in his life#and that's how she was known too so you know he was flipping to her column on the newspaper every day#the 'bobby convinced jack to marry jackie' allegations are never going away#not saying that jfk Didn't want to marry her but bobby was probably also in his ear about it#rfk#bobby kennedy#robert kennedy#robert f kennedy#kennedy#jackie kennedy#kennedy family#jfk#bobbyjackie
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Come to Mine
Pairing: idol!Yunho x backup dancer!reader
Genre: fluff and smut
Word count: 6.3k
Summary: You didn't plan for it to be this way. You just couldn't help being attracted to each other.
Warnings: smut, MDNI, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration, safe sex (condom woo), it's very sweet and clumsy
A/n: This was such self indulgence, I hope you enjoy if you read <3 I can't believe the comeback is tonight! I hope everyone is having a good day <33 (sorry for any typos, I didn't feel like editing today)
Read it on ao3
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You couldn't believe your eyes when you received the email.
Congratulations, you've been selected as one of the dancers for Ateez's upcoming comeback. Rehearsals start next Monday, August 2nd. Please look out for our next message, which will contain the full schedule with dates and locations. We look forward to working with you!
You'd worked with several other Kpop groups over the last few years. You'd actually made it as a dancer, much to the surprise of your family. You'd like to say you were surprised too, but in truth you weren't. You had felt it in your bones that this is what you were meant to do and would be doing, ever since you first watched a Girl's Generation MV on your shitty middle school laptop.
Working with Ateez felt like the absolute pinnacle. You were only several years in, but you knew from hearing the chatter, from watching their performances, that backup dancing for them was a true honor, and a challenge. You'd gone to the audition with an open mind, not riding on the fact that you'd be selected. They told you all they wanted twelve girls total, a smaller number than you'd expected. And most of the girls you went with were more experienced, or had major connections within the industry, so it really was a shock to you that you were selected. It made your whole body buzz, your confidence skyrocketing. If they believed you could hang with the best of the best, you'd do everything you could to prove them right.
Sitting on the hardwood floor at the end of your first rehearsal, it all just felt right. The group was working together so well already; most of these girls you'd danced with before, and you realized looking around that if you'd ever had the chance to select a dance team yourself, you would have made almost the same selections they did. Everyone was a dance nerd, a true artist, focused, dedicated. Everyone took good care of themselves, was smart, driven, and so hardworking. You all spoke amongst yourselves after rehearsal, anticipating your first rehearsal with the boys, wondering what they'd really be like in person. You'd all followed them closely for years, and were all big fans. You couldn't not be, given just how talented they were, just how dedicated to their craft, the same way you were. But you all vowed to be as respectful as possible, and keep the giggling and ogling to yourselves when the time came.
It was comeback season for them, their schedules incredibly full. The next album was almost entirely finished already though, and you had no doubt they were already beginning work on songs that would make future albums too. It was still six months until the comeback you'd be performing in, the time feeling indescribably far away. Many of the other girls, like you, still had smaller projects to work on in the meantime. This was the beginning of a long journey, one that would begin slowly. It was high pressure, you could feel it. You needed your absolute best to show here, for the sake of your career.
You'd never have guessed how it would feel finally meeting them all.
Sweaty and exhausted, they all came in after their final music show performance. They'd been up since the early hours of the morning to film, and now it was closer to midday. You'd slept in, spending the morning stretching and readying your body for this important rehearsal. In hindsight you hadn't needed to, the first day with the members being more of a meeting, followed by an attempt to brainstorm what formations would be possible with the twenty of you. Then you each had to introduce yourselves, going down the line of twelve, each repeating your names and where you were from.
After saying your name, after bowing, your eyes caught on Yunho's. And in that moment you knew it was all over.
All you could think was, 'fuck, I don't need this.' Truly, you didn't. There was too much else to focus on. Life had been hectic for so many reasons, but now you were just trying to focus on being present, there for your friends and family, focused on your work. You'd been single for almost two years now, and it had been the best time of your life. The time with your friends had been beautiful, fulfilling, peaceful. The success you'd had with dancing had been all you could have dreamed of. But you knew in that moment that something was about to change, something you doubted you could put any stop to. It felt written in the stars, like it was meant to happen. It had to. You could tell.
He'd noticed you right away. You were the shortest of the girls selected; they'd skewed more towards choosing taller girls, so that the height differences wouldn't be too severe. You weren't tiny, but still he'd noticed right away that you were shorter than everyone else. Your big glasses, your messy wavy hair, your baggy sweat pants. You stood out amongst the rest of the girls, but not because you were flashy. You were almost too relaxed in your appearance. He loved it instantly. And he could tell it affected you when he looked your way, your eyes darting fast to the floor when he pierced you with his gaze.
He watched you intently over the next few rehearsals, seeing immediately how talented you were. You picked up everything with such ease; but you weren't cocky, weren't throwing it in anyone's face. You helped other girls when they needed it, and you spoke up when an instruction wasn't clear, helping the main choreographer realize their mistake. You were quiet, mostly, except when you needed to be loud. You seemed so put together, almost boringly so. Some of the other girls were chaotic, which made the boys or other dancers gossip. But as Yunho listened to it all he realized none of them really mentioned you. From the outside in you seemed unassuming, and he knew people thought the same thing about him. So he knew that just like him, there was something more under the surface. Something juicier, freakier, stranger. Every time he looked you right in the eyes, the few times you'd let him, he could see it written in your pupils. And the way you always looked way, like you'd just had the wind knocked out of you, made him think he was probably right.
It really didn't help that he was such a good dancer, so confident and technically gifted, with a certain quality to his movement that you could not put into words. You became mesmerized from the first moment you saw it in person. You'd been impressed with his dancing abilities for a while, but seeing it in person in front of you, seeing his massive tall body move with a level of control that should not have been possible, had you completely entranced. You couldn't help the giddiness you felt when heading to work, the excited texts sent to your best friend. Your crush was forming fast, threatening to inflate inside of you and make you float away. He was all you could think about when you laid in bed at night, awaiting the next time you'd get to be in his presence, and say the few words you did to each other.
Then one day, it changed.
"Y/n, could I go over the middle section with you?"
His voice came from behind you, as you carefully retied your shoes during a break in rehearsal.
"With me?" you asked, turning around to find him standing behind you.
"Yeah, I've been watching everyone in the mirror and you seem to know that section best. I missed that rehearsal where we first learned it, so I think I'm missing the timing a bit." He reached out a hand to help you up, and you took it automatically, the touch between you sending adrenaline through your heart and making you shiver.
"I think you've been doing it just fine. What part is confusing?" you asked.
"I'm wondering when the arms come up, when we're turning around. Is it on one, or the and of one?"
"It's on the and. Here, do you want to do it slowly together?" You couldn't believe the words were tumbling out of your mouth, so naturally from your years of helping assist dance classes at your high school.
"Yeah, that'd be great," Yunho replied, getting in position beside you. You began counting slowly, you both dancing crudely through the counts, reaching the confusing section with hesitation. "See, one and," you threw your arms up, spinning around and turning your back to the mirror, your hands coming out beside you. "They're not back down until the and of 2."
"Ah, that makes sense. So they're delayed compared to the shifting of our feet there," he said, and you nodded in agreement, watching him step through the moves himself, flawlessly.
"Yeah, that's perfect," you smiled at him.
"Thank you, that was really helpful. I'm worried I'm messing things up cause I missed that rehearsal," he smiled back, arms locked behind his back. It looked like he was nervous, to you, which endeared you even more to him.
"Your dancing looks perfect to me," you said, standing still and awkward, your nervousness also showing.
You both stood staring at each other, and this time you didn't flick your eyes away. It all felt like things were clicking into place, and any feeling you had to resist this little thing was all gone. Not that there really was much to begin with. But you were nervous at first, so unsure of his interest. You couldn't bring yourself to assume that someone like him would want to be friends with someone like you. You had to wait for the confirmation from him.
Easy conversation followed the next few rehearsals. Talking about the choreography was always an easy in, and Yunho took to using it as much as he pleased. He complimented your dance skills more than you thought he should, because you worried the other dancers would find it strange or have something to say about it. But no one said a word to you. You felt this thing happening, the two of you magnets pulled together, but it seemed like no one around you had any clue. It was normal enough for him to want to talk to a dancer about the routine, and so what if in those conversations things turned more personal, more jokey, more flirtatious. He complimented your glasses early on, you remember that, and it stuck with you for weeks. You couldn't get it out of your head, the way his head tilted to the side when he said it. His tone of voice, the look in his eye.
Then there was the rehearsal in the gymnasium. You were all sectioned off, the main focus of the day being how the background sets for the MV would fit around the group of you dancing. The director was there, talking with all of ateez and the head choreographer, as they all stood around on the floor. The rest of you were told to wait in the stands, as they set the exact measurements of the set pieces, needing you all on stand-by at a moments notice. It was times like this you realized just how big the budget they had was; they were paying you all to be here today, even though most of the day you spent just sitting there, your fellow dancer sitting next to you almost falling asleep on your shoulder three separate times.
He saw you as soon as you came in, your hair up in a messy bun, your hoodie swallowing you. Your socks didn't match, your shoe laces partially untied. You pushed your glasses up your nose as you stepped inside, nearly bumping into the girl in front of you. Unassuming. Clumsy. For some reason, everything he wanted.
He craned his neck to watch you sit down, waving when you finally looked in his direction. You waved back, the sleeve of your hoodie pulled over your hand. He stood amongst his members, wishing he could somehow say something to you. Everyone was discussing the slight differences in the placement of something, but he'd stopped listening as soon as he saw you enter, so he really wasn't sure what it was. He reached for his phone, wanting to shoot you off a quick text. But then he remembered, the managers had taken them today so the boys would be focused. Also, he still didn't have your number. He knew he needed to remedy that problem as quickly as he could.
You zoned out for a moment, everyone around you buried deep in their phones as soon as they realized they'd be stuck in the bleachers for a bit. But it didn't take long for your gaze to sweep back down, settling on the person you couldn't keep your mind off of. You were met with a surprise, holding a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing.
Yunho was holding up a piece of paper in your direction, the word HI written in big bold letters. You weren't even sure where he got the paper from, much less the marker, but god did it make your heart constrict. How fucking adorable, how totally and completely cheesy. You were like Taylor Swift and her crush in 'You Belong With Me,' holding out written signs to each other and reading them through the window. Well, you could have been, if you had any paper of your own. You smiled, his action absolutely heartwarming, but you couldn't help feeling terribly disappointed that you couldn't reciprocate the gesture. That was until you remembered the back of your hoodie had the word HELLO written across it, right above the smiling sunflower. You held your hand out to him, beckoning him to wait a moment, as you turned and lifted up the hood to make sure he could see the white letters, that you hoped contrasted enough against the blue fabric that he could see them from so far away.
You turned to find him smiling, his shoulders jumping for a moment like he was laughing. It was just far enough away that you couldn't hear well, so you had no idea if he really was. The moment passed, and your heart was beating remarkably fast, but yet again it seemed like no one around you noticed. You blinked around, looking over your shoulder at your fellow dancers. Right then it hit you, that maybe you shouldn't be so openly doing this, whatever this was. You'd been warned time and time again that being involved with an idol was bad news, that plenty of dancers had done it and payed the price. One of your favorite fellow dancers had dated an idol, and you'd heard her horror story before over drinks one night. You knew people had complicated feelings on the subject.
But you also knew your own feelings weren't so complicated, at least when it came to him. Finally you all were beckoned down to the floor, the sets put in place. You all danced in front of them, the director trying out his camera movements, asking you to repeat certain sections so he could try different angles, see how the composition would look with so many bodies in the shot. You'd said hello to each other when you came down, but quickly you had to get to work, everyone's focus held on your dancing. It wasn't until you all wrapped up for the day that he said anything else.
"Hey, I've been meaning to get your number so we can text if we need to, like today," he said. Your stomach dropped; you couldn't believe the words you were hearing. Was he really asking for your number, here in front of everyone?
"Yeah, that would be great," you smiled, waiting for him to pull out his phone and hand it to you.
"My manager has my phone, do you have yours?" he asked.
"Uh, it's up in stands with the rest of my stuff. I'll have to go grab it," you responded, smiling apologetically.
"Yeah, no worries-"
"Everyone we need to clear out, we're supposed to be gone in five minutes! Let's get going!" the lead choreographer cut him off, calling out to the whole room.
"Yunho, I've got your bag, and the car is out front, we need to leave now," his manager came running up, placing a hand on his shoulder. You didn't know where he was headed, but it was probably another rehearsal, or interview, or photoshoot. One of the thousands of things they all had scheduled every week.
In the chaos you scrambled up the stairs, grabbing your stuff before dashing out the door, not wanting to get in trouble. Yunho waved to you from the car, it pulling away as soon as you exited the building and started your walk to the subway station. It had all happened so fast, and you hoped he didn't think that you'd forgotten. His question stuck in your mind over the next three days, until you had rehearsal again. And that time you walked in with your phone already open, pulled up to a new contact entry. You didn't even greet him that day; you just placed your phone in his hands, and looked up at him with big eyes. He blinked a moment, but it wasn't hard for him to know what you were asking. He put in his number, handing the phone back to you, and you sent off your first text of many.
🌸: hello :)
You waited that night after rehearsal, meeting up with your best friend for dinner. You could just feel it again, you knew he'd say something, if you had just a little patience.
🐶: I hope rehearsal didn't kill you today. They really didn't give you guys any breaks :(
Immediately you squealed, shoving your phone into your friend's face.
"How cute, he's so concerned for you," she laughed, poking your cheek.
"I can't believe he already texted," you sighed, grabbing another bite.
"He obviously likes you," she said, making your mind spin.
"Don't say that, you're getting my hopes up," you replied, shaking your head.
"Why else would he ask for your number?" she asked.
"To talk to me about work stuff, dance stuff, I don't know?" you replied.
"Did he ask for anyone else's number?" she asked.
"I don't know, he could have," you said, raising your shoulders.
"I doubt it," she smiled. "Look at you, you've caught yourself an idol. Better be careful, my girl," she joked, finishing off her drink.
"I wonder if this is a bad idea," you pondered, staring off into space and letting your mind wander.
"Don't overthink it. How often do you come across people you like? If he likes you too, you should go for it. You don't have any reason to hold yourself back from this. I mean, be careful of course. I don't want any death threats coming your way," she chuckled, reaching over the table and grabbing your hand. "Connecting with another person is a special thing, and it sounds like you two really have. Don't under sell that."
You left the restaurant and wandered home, a warm feeling in your chest. Hugging your friend goodbye you thanked her, so grateful to have someone you know you can tell anything to. As soon as you made it home, you pulled out your phone and responded to him.
🌸: It was fine, I just got very sweaty. my hair was a frizzy mess 🐶: you still looked so pretty 🌸: you are very sweet to me 🌸: why is that 🐶: I like you, that's why 🌸: you like me? 🐶: I want to see you outside of work 🌸: I want that too
Your breath caught in your throat. It was everything you could have hoped to hear and more.
🌸: how can we do that tho 🐶: we'll find a way 🌸: you could come to my place. it's very small. I live alone
He could have guessed that was the case. You never mentioned having roommates, or parents, or anyone else you lived with in the brief conversations you'd had.
🐶: can I come this Saturday? 🌸: okay :) 🐶: are you sure? 🌸: be here at 7 🐶: will do
You had two days of filming for a different group's music video, a huge group dance with nearly fifty dancers. You be finishing it up Saturday morning, and hoped that things ran on time. You wanted to have the time to get yourself ready, take a shower, pick out your clothes. Even though you'd just be at home, surely just lounging around. You wanted to wear your favorite sweats, and the black tank top you had that sat perfectly over your figure. You two wouldn't be going on dinner dates out, or to the bar for drinks, or to the cafe or farmer's market or any other place where Yunho could be spotted. He didn't have to explain that to you; you'd worked in this industry long enough to understand. He'd have to do everything he could to avoid being seen entering your building. If this did become a romance, it would be one conducted in the privacy of bedrooms, apartments, hotels. You couldn't walk out on the street holding hands, or even just walk down the street side by side. But then you reminded yourself of the if. You still didn't know what he wanted, exactly. You'd still never been in the same room just the two of you. The nerves gnawed at you as you showered, as you carefully set out the clothes you would wear as you dried your hair. You'd wear no bra with your tank top, you decided, and you'd wear your favorite bikini cut black underwear. You didn't like lacy thongs, you didn't like most women's clothing period. But you wanted to feel sexy when he arrived, wanted it to be clear to him what you were after.
🐶: I'm heading out now, I should be there in 17 minutes, according to google maps 🌸: see you soon :)
Your adrenaline surged, your body sweating despite the cool temperature of your tiny apartment. You scrambled around, cleaning every surface one time over again, making sure your dirty clothes were tucked away in your closet and not strewn about anywhere. You gave yourself a final look in the mirror, your glasses looking comically huge on your face. Your hair was a mess, but it always was. You'd never learned how to properly take care of your waves. The black tank top looked as good as you'd hoped though, so you shrugged. It was good enough.
You'd only sat on your couch for about thirty seconds when the doorbell rang, and you physically jumped. Opening your door you found him in a loose button up shirt, casual baggy pants, a baseball cap covering his nut brown hair, and a mask.
"Hi, come in," you said, your heart beating faster than it did even during your most difficult dance numbers.
"Thank you," he said, stepping inside, his jacket held over his arm. He pulled off his mask, folding it and shoving it in his pocket.
"Would you like some water?" you asked, awkwardly. You didn't know what to say, the two of you standing feet apart in your tiny living room.
"Sure, that'd be great," he said, looking around, taking everything in.
"You can sit on my couch, or on the floor, if you'd like. Sorry there aren't more options, my apartment is tiny," you said as you filled his glass. You decided to fill one for yourself, realizing now that you'd completely forgotten to eat dinner or drink any water this afternoon because of your nerves.
"It's perfect. I really like it," he said, sitting himself down cross legged on the floor, on the small rug that surrounded your coffee table. It was the only table you had here, the one you always ate your meals at. "Is this the rug you always lay on at night?" he asked as you came and set his water in front of him.
"Oh, no, that one's in my room," you smiled, sitting opposite him on your couch, cross legged too.
"I was gonna say, this is pretty small for laying on," he laughed.
"My other one is small too, I guess," you laugh in response.
"Can I see it?" His eyes have a mischievous glint to them as they meet yours.
"Sure," you say, smirking back at him. You're trying to put on a confident front, because you swear you keep seeing his eyes trail down your body hungrily, but as soon as you start walking towards your room your legs are shaky. Yunho reaches out and grabs your shoulder from behind, steadying you for a moment.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, just tired. Filming ran long this morning, we had to go over this one section like fifty times. I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow," you say.
"Do you have a foam roller? It's helps me a lot when my legs are cramping up on me," he says, as you open your bedroom door, revealing the tiny room to him. It only has room for your full bed, your dresser shoved into your closet.
"I should really get one," you say, turning to face him. "There's the rug," you smile, watching intently to see his reaction.
"That's the one you lay on every night?" he asks. You nod your head, chuckling. "That's even smaller than the one out there," he laughs, pointing in the direction of your living room.
"I wonder if you'd even fit," you laugh, looking down at the small strip of floor that isn't taken up by your bed frame.
"Let me try," he says, kicking off his shoes and setting them on your shoe rack outside your door. He crouches down, settling himself on his side, his legs bent up to make it possible for him to fit.
"Wow, so comfortable," he quips, sarcastically.
"It is if you're my size," you pout, looking down at him with your arms crossed.
"You really lay here every night before bed?" he asks.
"It's my favorite spot in the world," you nod.
"You think we could both fit?" he asks, pulling off his hat and tossing it on your bed, holding out an arm to you.
"Maybe..." you trail off, stepping over towards him, carefully setting yourself down in front of him. You're on you side too, your face maybe a foot from his, your back shoved up against your closet door. You stare into each other's eyes, still not having touched, the whole scene potentially still friendly and innocent.
A yawn hits you, a wave of exhaustion washing over your whole body. You really should have remembered to eat a good meal before this.
"Tired?" Yunho asks, you his eyes not leaving yours.
"I guess so. Sorry for yawning," you say.
"Am I boring you?" he jokes.
"No, not at all," you shake your head, smiling back at him. And then you both just stare, a good minute passing, your heart racing and racing in your chest, your body aching for something, anything.
"Can I kiss you now?" he asks, but still doesn't move. So you do instead, pulling yourself closer to him, your legs entangling as your lips finally meet, the first moments of the kiss awkward and stilted in that way it always is with a new person. But soon enough you've found each other's rhythm; you can tell he likes sucking on your bottom lip, and likes it when you open your mouth and let out those breathy moans, allowing him to dive his tongue inside, feeling over the plush softness of your tongue. It's heated so quickly, your arms desperately grabbing at each other, a sexual excitement awakened in you in a way it hadn't been in so many years. You got lost in it; you couldn't have even remembered your own name in that moment, because all you knew was his mouth and his hands, his tongue on your neck, the way your clit felt rubbing hard against his thigh, your climax reaching you so fast you don't even realize it until your hands are cramping up. They do that when you're too stimulated, when your whole nervous system has too much input and can't process it all. He senses a change in you, pulling back to see you holding your hands, trying desperately to calm the spasming muscles.
"What's wrong?" he asks, gently holding your hands in his own.
"It just happens sometimes, when I come," you whisper into the cool air of your bedroom. "My hands lock up like this." You start to giggle, a blush creeping over your face at the look he's giving you.
"You came?"
"Yeah, I know, I'm insanely sensitive," you laugh, still rubbing at your hands.
"Fuck," he groans, shaking his head back and forth, and you laugh again at how affected he is. "Are your hands going to be okay?"
"Yeah, just give them a moment. They'll be fine," you say, putting your face up to his again, your lips connecting and fire shooting through you once again.
Before you know it he's on top of you, kissing you hard, his hands snaking underneath your top to feel over your hard nipples, grabbing hungrily at your body. "Can I taste you?" he whispers through ragged breaths, and you nod into him, whispering yes on his lips. He moves down, pulling at the waistband of your sweatpants, and you lips your hips to help him. When he grabs at your panties he drags them off slowly, shoving them in the pocket of his jeans, moving his mouth down your thighs and licking up to your core. He swipes his tongue up your slit slowly, giving firm pressure to his movement, making you moan and arch your back in response, your knees falling wide and hitting the wall and bed you're caged between. Yunho hums at the taste of you, the heady sweetness better than he could have even imagined, his tongue swiping again and again up your entire slit, taking in as much of you as he can.
"Fuck you taste good," he whispers, before attaching his lips to your clit, sucking gently and making you squirm, your knees jumping up to cage in his head. Then he's adding a finger, and then another, slowly pumping them into you while he keeps sucking on your sensitive bud, ripping another orgasm out of you in seconds. He keeps touching you through your after shocks, making your moans high pitched and sharp as you feel overstimulated, but then as he keeps going you slip back into pleasure, and another orgasm builds faster than the first.
"Fuck, fuck," you scream, your hand in his hair, snaking through and grabbing hard onto it. It makes Yunho moan, the vibrations radiating through your core and sending you over the edge once again, your pussy fluttering around his fingers. This time you push him up, your body wracked from coming so hard and fast.
"You can come multiple times," he states, his lips and chin glistening from your slick. You just nod coyly, breathing hard, trying to regain your sanity as he moves on top of you again, kissing you hard. You moan at the taste of yourself, and at the way he's smothering you so entirely. "You like how you taste?" he asks, smiling into you as you nod your head yes, your lips not able to leave each other for more than a few seconds.
"Can I fuck you?" he asks into your ear, his low voice shuddering through you.
"Please," you whisper, grabbing at his pants to help push them down, laughing as he tries to stand and bumps his head on the door handle to your closet.
"Fuck," he mutters under his breath, holding his head for a moment, scrambling still to pull of his pants and finally get to what he's wanted all night. "You're making me so desperate that I'm hurting myself," he jokes, slipping a condom over himself with finesse, finally collapsing back onto you, rubbing his hard dick up and down your slit, attaching his lips to yours once again. Slowly he pushes in, testing the waters, watching your face as he stretches you out. He's loving your reaction, the way that just him putting his cock in you is making you so overwhelmed with feelings and pleasure.
"You're so big," you cry into his shoulder, grasping onto him for dear life.
"I know," he chuckles, his face in your hair, taking in the scent of you.
"Shut up," you giggle, hitting his shoulder playfully, holding back a moan from ripping out of you. He's just barely bottomed out, holding tight onto your hips to anchor himself.
"You okay?" he whispers, placing gentle kisses on your forehead temple, keeping himself still until you give him the okay. You nod against him, your face still buried in his shoulder, holding him to you.
"Please move Yunho," you beg, your body needing more from him now, even if the stretch is hurting. He slowly pulls himself out, pushing back in with care, the wet sounds loud and embarrassing. You're so wet it's starting to drip down your leg, and he slides in so easily, even though you're tight against him.
"Does that feel good?" he asks you, setting a slow pace, watching your body intently. You babble and nod against him, and he picks his pace up, hitting something so deep inside of you that it makes you head fly back against the ground again. Thankfully your rug is there on the floor, but it isn't the thickest, and the actions till hurts.
"Ow," you mutter, your eyebrows scrunching up in pain.
"Careful, careful," he coos, grabbing the back of your head in his large palm, slowing his movements. "Why are we on the floor when your bed is right there?"
You chuckle, blinking up at him with blown pupils, your walls still clenching hard around him.
"Let's move up there," he smiles, slowly pulling out of you, standing gingerly and helping you up carefully, too. You pull at his shirt, unbuttoning some of his buttons, making him pull if off over his head. He's completely revealed to you now, and he grabs at your top too, pulling it over your head and throwing it over the side of the bed.
"Your head okay?" he asks, moving on top of you again, cradling it in his hand.
"Yeah, it's okay," you laugh, staring up at him. "How's yours?"
"It's fine," he chuckles, kissing you deeply and grabbing at you, unable to stop himself. "You're driving me crazy," he whispers, and in a moment he's sheathed himself inside of you again, resting your head against your pillows as he starts fucking you hard, his mouth on yours as your tongues swirl around each other's mouths. He's hitting that spot inside you again, over and over sending waves of pleasure through your abdomen. You feel like you're being split open, like your entire body is filled by him, by everything he's meaning to you. The care, the attention, the perfect angle of his hips as they snap against yours, has your mind floating on a cloud of pure joy. God, it's never felt this good, and you don't want it to stop, don't ever want this feeling to end. You know you're stuck now, you're addicted, you've had one taste of him and you'll never want anyone else.
"Yunho," you whine against his lips, as you feel another orgasm building.
"Fuck, don't say my name like that, you're gonna make me come," he groans, lifting his head up to deepen his angle even further, fucking you even harder. "Are you close?" he asks, and you whimper in response, moaning high pitched and holding tight onto his biceps. "You're so fucking perfect," he says, his upper body falling down on top of yours again, as he holds you close. You come, the warmth and safety his body is giving you making you release, every part of your being comforted by the man above you.
"Yes, fuck that feels good," he groans into your ear, feeling the way you're squeezing so hard down onto him, your moans like screams again, stroking his ego in such an addicting way. "I'm never gonna get enough of you," he groans, finally releasing his load, his orgasm washing over him hard as his hips stutter, his face scrunching up in pleasure as he finally comes. He collapses on top of you, holding you close as you both come down from your highs, your breaths hard and fast and totally in sync.
"You're amazing," he mumbles, stroking a hand through your hair.
"No, you're amazing," you giggle, your head floaty and calm in your post orgasmic state. You poke his side, giggling into him when his body jumps.
"Don't you dare do that right now," he grumbles, tickling you back and twice as hard, making you shriek and laugh beneath him.
You stay cuddled up all night, not able to sleep cause you keep kissing, Yunho's large warm body making you feel safe in a way you didn't know you were missing.
"I should have taken these off before I fucked you," he laughs as he pulls off your glasses, placing them gingerly on your side table.
"Eh, it's okay," you laugh, snuggling into him closer. "They're always on, I'm used to it. I keep them on even when I dance most of the time, which is weird."
"I noticed," he said. "They're so fucking cute."
"You really like them?"
"Y/n, you're fucking perfect. Every thing about you."
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Made With Love
It takes one bite for Eddie to suspect he's done something wrong. A second bite confirms it. He's fucked up somehow and cannot for the life of him remember what it was.
Did he miss an important date of some sort? It couldn't have been their anniversary because that's August 13th (Eddie's new favorite day of the year, for obvious reasons). He absolutely didn't miss Steve's birthday. Not with how long he and Robin had spent planning the damn thing. (Eddie is never throwing another surprise party in his life; the stress of secret keeping was too much to bear.)
... Did he miss Robin's birthday?
No. That can't be. Steve would never let him miss that.
It could be one of the Party's birthdays, but Eddie doesn't think that's a transgression that would warrant this.
This, of course, being his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"What, your peanut butter's gone bad?"
Eddie lifts his eyes from the proof of Steve's anger at him to his coworker, Charlie, sitting across the table from him in the closet that Thatcher claims is the break room. "No. It's much worse than that, I'm afraid."
"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Charlie deadpans.
"This sandwich wasn't made with love," Eddie whines, looking back at the sandwich with as much sorrow as he can muster. He sets the sandwich down on the baggy he had pulled it out of so that he can frown down at it without having to touch the offending creation.
"Ah shit," Charlie says, voice filled with empathy. This is why he's Eddie's favorite coworker. He gets it. Possibly because he's the only person who's tasted the difference for himself, back when Eddie'd just started at Thatcher Tires. "What'd'ya do?"
"I don't know!" Eddie wails. "Everything was fine when I left this morning, or I thought it was anyway."
"Ain't your misses pretty good at lettin' you know you done fucked up?" Charlie, like the best coworker that he is, looks surprised that Eddie doesn't know what he's done. He's right, too. Steve is the goddamn king of petty, and Eddie has never struggled to know when Steve's mad at him. The struggle usually comes from Eddie refusing to be in the wrong.
(That's not to say that Eddie is always in the wrong. He's not. Sure, a good percent of their arguments Eddie is the one at fault and he's mature enough to admit so once the argument is over, but it's not always his fault.)
Anyway, the point is, regardless of who's at fault, Steve is angry at him about something and for the first time in months Eddie doesn't know what for. They'd promised each other, after their first very big fight that almost ended in a breakup and was over a misunderstanding, that they would tell each other why they're mad or upset or feeling some type of way. So for Eddie to not know...
He thinks he might have fucked up big time.
"I know!" Eddie cries, shoving the sandwich away from him to make room to drop his forehead onto the table, then turns to smoosh his cheek against the table so he can look at Charlie. "Charlie. Charlie what do I do?"
Charlie blows out a long breath, thinking, before he gives a decisive nod and says, "you gotta beg forgiveness."
Eddie knows Charlie's right. He doesn't know what he did but he's going to beg forgiveness anyway.
Which is how he now finds himself in the small floral section of the grocery store looking over the sad, wilted bouquets after work. His arms are already full with Steve's favorite ice cream, candies, an over-priced little blue teddy bear that's holding an 'It's A Boy!' card that Eddie plans to rip off, and a blank card with a painting of sunflowers on it that he plans to wax poetry about Steve inside.
The final part of his groveling is, of course, the flowers. It's the wrong season for sunflowers, so Eddie was going to settle for roses. It's just that these roses are all sad looking. They don't really scream 'I Love You More Than Anything Else In The World, Please Forgive Me For What I've Done' though.
Let it never be said that Eddie doesn't know how to beg forgiveness.
He ends up picking the least wilted looking bouquet, one with white and yellow flowers he can't name.
The cashier is an older lady who takes quick catalogue of his items and asks, "is it your anniversary, darling? Or, oh!" She picks up the blue bear and Eddie feels his ear heating with embarrassment as she coos, "are you expecting? How exciting!"
"Err, no, not, uh, no. It's just blue is hi-her favorite color, so I was planning to just cut off the little card," Eddie stutters out the lie. Blue isn't Steve's favorite color but Eddie's used to making up many little lies when talking to strangers. Being hate-crimed is not a passion of Eddie's. "I, uh, messed up. And I don't know what I did, but I'm going to make it right."
The lady smiles at him and gives him a firm nod as she scans the items. "Smart boy. I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Eddie gives her a smile he hopes isn't as tight-lipped as it feels on his face.
Back in the safety of his van, Eddie roots around until he finds a pen and gets to writing all the things he loves about Steve in the card and all the things he hopes they'll get to have in the future. Nothing they haven't spoken about before, but it still makes Eddie a little emotional writing it all down.
Once he's done writing, he pulls his pocket knife out and cuts off the 'It's A Boy' card from the bear, crumpling it up and tossing it in the back of the van to be forgotten. He shoves the sunflower card in it's place. His card is a bit wider than the previous one here so it stays in place, albeit precariously. He'll be careful handing it over to Steve.
He knows that Steve is at home already. Steve's always home first because he's off work at four compared to Eddie getting off work around five.
Well. Closer to five-thirty today with his stop at the grocery store. He really hopes that whatever has Steve mad at him isn't time related. Being late home without calling might earn him no favors if it's a time-based blunder.
Steve is in the kitchen, back to the door since he's facing the stove, as Eddie expected he might be. Which means that Eddie doesn't get to lay out all his Items of Forgiveness across the counter like he had hoped but that's okay. If the love of his life has chosen to forgive him, he knows Steve will be just as overjoyed to rifling through a bag of goodies as he would to pick them off the counter.
"Hi sweetheart," Eddie says, words oozing with adoration and sweetness.
"Hi baby," Steve's tone matches Eddie's, like an instinct to match Eddie's energy has written itself into Steve's DNA. And it might have. Eddie knows the reverse is true.
Steve turns from the stove, then, and his face lights up with delight and surprise. "What's all this?"
"Your favorite things, because I love you," Eddie says, raising his arms a bit. The grocery bag is looped over his wrist with flowers in one hand and the bear in the other.
Steve looks positively smitten.
Eddie is nailing this apology that isn't an apology. And let it be known; he cannot say he's sorry. It'll ruin everything. Because Steve, his wonderful, beautiful, kind and loving Stevie, will cock one perfect little caterpillar eyebrow and ask if Eddie knows what he's apologizing for, and Eddie will have to say he doesn't know and that isn't something he's willing to do. Especially not when it's looking like whatever Steve was mad about has completely slipped Steve's mind, too.
"I got your favorite ice cream, too, so we might want to get that into the freezer," Eddie says, passing the bear and card to Steve and shimmying around him to get to the freezer.
He lays the flowers on the counter and sets to emptying the bag. Ice cream in the freezer and goodies on the counter, while Steve reads the card silently behind him.
He knows he's successfully made up for whatever it was he had done, because Steve crowds him against the fridge shortly after setting the card down and turning the stove burner off, kissing him breathless.
Eddie even gets desert before dinner, with Steve all but dragging him to their bedroom.
-
The reddit post that inspired this -
#steddie#my fic#Steve's not even mad or upset. He was running a bit late and asked Robin to make Eddie's sandwich for him while he finished getting ready.#Robin just grabbed the wrong jelly not even knowing it was the wrong one.#but yes... steve does do the thing the lady in the reddit story does
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What Happens in Cars, Stays in Cars
dbf!jake seresin x fem!reader 9k words
summary: After a month-long deployment, Jake is finally coming back home. Well, not home home. You're too desperate to wait until you've actually got him home. But who needs home when there's a perfectly good car anyway?
a/n: porn with plot. a lot of plot. and a lot of porn. 18+ obviously. reader is twenty-five in this, jake is forty-seven. as always, a list of things to watch out for:
nudes. mentions of masturbation. pet names used in an unholy way. the word 'brat' is dropped twice. safe sex (yess they still have a condom!!! i feel like i deserve a round of applause for not forgetting it). car sex, so a tiny smidge of exhibitionism. dom!jake. a lot of begging, as always. a tad bit dry humping. first finger sucking, then fingering. any more, uh....? i don't think so. there's not much space in a car for anything else.
top gun masterlist | dbf!jake seresin masterlist
(the gif has nothing at all to do with the fic, but tell me that's not dbf!jake working out in his backyard knowing you're watching him istg)
It's a one time thing. That's what they told him. A one time thing.
He isn't supposed to do these anymore. He's supposed to be stationed permanently, sitting in his office and doing what an admiral does. Important work, surely. It's a high honour and he's proud, of course. But office work... Office work has never really been his thing. And if they'd deployed him for this mission four months earlier, he would've been thrilled.
He's the best of the best. The navy knows. He knows. Which is why he's an admiral by now. And also why they want him coaching the new hotshots for a month, halfway across the country.
And, yes, he would've been thrilled - four months ago.
Four months ago, when you'd not yet moved back home. Four months ago, when he hadn't yet met you. Four months ago, when he hadn't known what it was like to hold you, to touch you, to miss you.
His phone chimes and momentarily distracts him. It's not that he didn't mute it - he's standing in front of a bunch of twenty-something year olds who he does try to be a role model for - it's just that you'd tampered with it once and ever since then, you've had a personalised ringtone that still somehow works even when everything else is muted. (He could totally turn that off if he wanted to, though. Definitely. Ab-so-lu-tely. He just... doesn't.)
His jaw clenches and he has to restart his sentence, but other than that, he manages to pretend nothing happened. Nonetheless, he has to glare at the snickering wannabe-pilots in the first row, who remind him very much of a young version of himself.
You're three hours ahead of him and probably just got off work. It's likely nothing but a sweet "having a good day?" message or maybe a photo of you all dressed up, ready for dinner with your friends like you'd planned.
Either way, knowing your message is sitting unopened in your chat has him talking quicker. He finishes his lecture half an hour early and fishes his phone from his pocket before the first of his pupils have even got up from their seats - which turns out to be a horrible, horrible idea, because the photo attached to "don't know how long i'll stay out, have a nice night, admiral" with the winky face emoji is not one of you all dressed up for a night out with your friends, but one of you in just a pair of panties in front of the mirror. The mirror in his bedroom.
Fucking god-
He seems to let out some kind of choked up groan or something of the sort, because a few of his pilots turn to look back at him. One even has the audacity to ask if he's alright, which he certainly isn't. But that's absolutely not their problem.
So he grumbles something about how they should all use their free time to go to the gym instead of bothering him before he collects his things and flees to his room. One of the many advantages of being an admiral, of course, is that he doesn't have to bunk anymore, which is always the greatest nuisance for anybody who's ever looking for privacy. The times he's had to listen to guys jack off a foot away from him- fuck, the times they'd had to listen to him.
No, right now he is incredibly thankful for the privacy of his bedroom as he locks the door behind him and opens his phone again. Goddamn, why were you in his house? His fingers hover over the call button for a few seconds, but then he decides against it - you're going out with friends for the first time in months, he doesn't want to bother you.
He's popping the button of his jeans and sitting down on his bed right as you come online.
"Like the pictures, baby? I've got more"
And before he can even respond, you've sent a bunch more selfies, half of them in front of his mirror, the other half on his bed and none of them decently clothed. Fucking hell, in one you've got your fingers down your panties and Jake is really thankful for the privacy of his room then because he groans so loudly that a bunkmate would definitely have heard.
"Are you still at dinner?", he asks, his fingers flying over his keyboard while he tugs at his zipper with his left hand.
"Yeah, won't be home soon", you write back. "Sorry"
"Don't be", Jake responds, as quickly as he can, because he definitely does not want to make you feel bad for spending time with your friends. "Have fun"
"Have fun with the pics", you send. Jake can picture your grin, sitting all dressed up in a restaurant and ignoring your friends to text him. "Thought those could maybe make up for no phone call tonight"
He swallows hard as you log off, leaving him with those pretty pictures of yours that certainly improve his night by a lot. Hell, he's already moving his briefs out of the way and clicking on your photos again. Just seeing you half-naked in his room - fuck, the thought of you sneaking over there only to do a goddamn photoshoot... You're really unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. And he can't wait to get back home to you.
...
"I miss you", you mumble into the phone, blinking at the alarm clock on your nightstand. It's eleven thirty, not nearly late enough for you to feel as exhausted as you do.
"I miss you too, darling", you hear Jake drawl on the other end of the call. "I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough", you whine - god, you sound pathetic and miserable to your own ears already, you must sound ten times worse to him. You fall back onto your pillows and let out a deep sigh. "Would it be rude to say I hope the mission gets cancelled?"
Jake chuckles. Fucking hell, you miss that chuckle so much. You miss him so much. You miss cuddling up to him under the covers and tucking your head under his chin. You miss running your fingers through his hair and having your hands on him. You miss seeing him, standing in the kitchen or working out or tinkering in the backyard or fresh out of the shower. Shit, you even miss sneaking around with him, because at least then you'd gotten to watch him from a distance, maybe steal a kiss when your parents hadn't been looking or spend a night at his house pretending to be at your friend's.
Now he's halfway across the country and absolutely, completely out of reach. You'd barely gotten to see him at all - twice it had worked out to video-call during a lunch break, once he even managed to show you around his office after work. The camera quality is hardly any good, of course, which means video-calls aren't all that great, plus the connection never seems to really be stable, so with a few exceptions, you've only seen Jake in pictures over the past two and a half weeks.
His deployment would take another one and a half and then, finally, he'd be back home. Back home with you.
"I won't answer that", Jake says, and you can almost hear him grin. "But I wouldn't mind either if they moved the mission up."
You have to bite down on your lip to hide a smile.
"So you think you're good to go?", you ask softly, not wanting to bring the mood down further, instead opting for the non-classified work questions. You've already been bringing down the mood enough back here at home - you don't need to fill the few minutes a day you get with Jake with your whining as well. Your parents already hear enough of that. Of course, they don't know why you've been in such a bad mood ever since Jake left. And they can't know, either. You can't tell them. You can't tell anyone.
You can't tell anyone because no one knows that you've been sneaking around with your dad's best friend for the past three months. So you resign yourself to moping around and keeping out of everybody's way as much as you can. For one and a half week more, one and a half...
...
Exactly one and a half week later you're standing at the airport in your best heels and a little yellow sundress and are positively buzzing with nervous energy. Jake's plane would get in at half, he'd said, when you'd last spoken to him six hours earlier. Then the plane had taken off and so had his wifi.
You're playing around with a strand of your hair and doing your hardest not to start chewing off your nails, which proves more difficult than you'd thought (even though you'd put on nail polish).
You're just so excited.
It's been a month since you'd last seen him. A month. And at the early stage of your... relationship, if you could call it that, that's basically half a year. God, how long it's been since you've run your hands through his hair, since you've felt his arms around you.
You miss him so much.
Your phone chimes and you fish it out of your pocket with trembling hands, only to be disappointed when it's not a message from Jake. It's not like you'd told him to text when he'd landed, just... A part of you is kind of scared you're waiting in the wrong place. Maybe he's on the other end of the airport - it's not a particularly small one. It'd take you hours to find each other if you were waiting in the wrong place.
Then again - maybe the plane is late. Maybe he's had to wait for his luggage.
You check the time, just to be safe. It's 11:46. For all you know, Jake is still in the air. Or less than a door away.
You bounce on your feet, nervously shifting back and forth before checking your phone again. The text you'd gotten is from one of your friends, who you text back only to distract you. It barely works anyway. You can't put it away again quickly enough.
It's not even that you don't want to distract yourself. You just physically can't pay attention. You've been a nervous wreck for the past three days, ever since you'd made the plan to pick him up from the airport. Which is probably why you almost don't spot him.
Almost.
He walks through the opened doors with his suitcase rolling behind him, his backpack slung over his shoulder and at least five other people rushing past him.
He sees you before you see him.
But then, then when you see him-
You're already sprinting towards him before your mind even tells your legs to move. You can't control it and you can't be bothered to. Why would you?
You don't care about the people glancing at you with raised eyebrows. You only care about Jake, about Jake who's standing there, pulling his hand from the handle of his suitcase and grinning at you. Grinning at you as you run at him and throw yourself into his arms.
He catches you effortlessly and steadies you as you cross your hands behind his neck and press your lips to his.
God, how you've missed him! How long you haven't kissed him!
His palms flatten against your back and he holds you tight, so tightly to him. You push even closer. He's here. He's back.
You don't realise you're crying until you taste the tears.
That's when Jake pulls back.
"I've missed you", he mutters, raising a hand and brushing the tears off your cheeks. You lean into the touch and tighten your arms around his neck. You're really touching him. He's really here.
"I missed you too", you try to say, but you're choked up and crying and it somehow comes out a blubbering, stuttering mess that you're not quite sure Jake can even understand. "Missed you so much."
He smiles one of those gorgeous smiles that you haven't seen in far too long before he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed as you lean into him, your fingers trailing up the nape of his neck. His breath mingles with yours as he draws you in again and catches you in another kiss, tugging gently at your bottom lip as if he has all the time in the world to do it - slow and languid and real. Finally real again.
He pulls you in by your waist, his hands splayed wide and so, so big against your thin sundress. Your nails scratch against his neck and he lets out a groan and suddenly, he's got his hands on your thighs and you're wrapping your legs around his middle and tightening your arms around him and his lips are working against yours feverishly, heavily, messily. You're crossing your feet behind his back when one of them hits something hard. You've flinched away from him even before you can hear the dull crash of his suitcase kissing the airport floor.
There's blood rushing in your ears and you're sure if someone measured your heart rate right now, you'd be sent to the ER immediately. You probably look like a tomato with all the redness in your cheeks. But Jake stares at his suitcase silently for two seconds too, breathing heavily as his grip on you tightens further.
As much as he likes having you in his arms, his suitcase reminds him that you're still very much in the middle of a well-used airport. So he turns back to you and lowers his voice.
"I think we should get out of here, darling."
Your lips tug up into a grin and you lean in to give him just one last, quick kiss.
"Yeah", you breathe, carefully jumping back down onto your own feet. Jake lets go of you only reluctantly - if this wasn't a public airport, he'd never have let you go again. But it is, so he swallows hard as you brush your palms down your dress and blink up at him with a smile.
You're wearing heels. You're still shorter than him by quite a bit.
His amusement melts into a frown when you grab the handle of his suitcase.
"I've got that", he says, reaching his hand out to take the suitcase from you, but you're already maneuvering it away from him and starting to walk in the direction (you think it's the right direction) you'd parked your car in.
"I want to do it for you", you hum.
"Sweetheart, you're already doing enough for me", he says, and he really does mean it. You've driven all this way to come pick him up, you'd watered his plants while he'd been away, you'd even cleaned. That one mostly because you'd desperately needed something to do and Jake's house had always smelled like him, but still.
"Doing enough to you, you mean." Your grin borders on lewd as you dig your teeth into your lip.
"Yeah, that too", he sighs, but he has to grin as well. You're absolutely unbelievable. Instead of trying to argue (he knows it'd be fruitless anyway), he wraps an arm around your back and pulls you into his side, his hand resting on your waist again.
You glance at him.
"I'm not letting go of this suitcase", you warn, even as you lean into his side and swallow. God, he looks so good. And he smells so good. And he feels so good.
"Got it", he chuckles, brushing a kiss to your temple and pulling you even closer into him. He can't have you close enough. Does this fucking airport not have an end? He just needs a little more privacy, a little more space-
"This way", you say and point right. Jake smiles at you as you guide him down the halls. He can't help but watch, can't help but stare at you, at your dress in that soft shade of yellow and your matching heels. Autumn doesn't seem to have caught up with you yet. Then again - autumn hasn't caught up with this place yet. And he's used to Texas heat, he likes that it doesn't get cold here. Also, those sundresses... Yeah, he certainly isn't complaining about the weather.
You speed up when you finally catch sight of the doors, dragging him along with you, almost falling into a jog. The suitcase rumbles against the airport floor, the wheels click-clacking over uneven ridges and bumps and then, thank god, you feel the sunshine on your skin. His hand tightens around your waist.
"Home sweet home", you grin as you take the first step onto concrete. You swivel around and steady both palms against the handle of his suitcase behind your back, bouncing on your heels and looking up at him. "After about a three hour drive."
Jake chuckles and looks back at you with raised eyebrows.
"You'll drive?", he asks. You hum.
"Maybe", you grin as you turn away again and walk over to your car, parked only three rows away for whatever holy reason. You'd been incredibly lucky. And you'd almost run over a grandma. "Or maybe not."
Jake follows you with another low chuckle that sends a pleasant tingling sensation down your spine. It's been so long since you heard that chuckle behind you.
He's next to you again within a few long strides, reaching out for you and you slow your steps to intertwine your fingers with his.
His hands are so big. He's holding onto you so firmly. Fuck, you've missed him so much.
You squeeze his hand and walk a little quicker. Car, home. Car, home. That's it. Then you've got him all to yourself. You can see the car glinting in the sunlight already - and then it's three hours. Three hours next to him in an enclosed space before you've truly got him back.
You stop and let go of his suitcase to fish the car keys out of your pocket without dropping his hand. You push the unlock button and open up the trunk before you turn to Jake and grin at him.
You want to say something, really. It's on the tip of your tongue, still running through your mind, but you've completely forgotten it when you look up at him.
Because while you'd been dragging him to the car, he'd pulled his sunglasses out and put them on and for whatever reason... That kind of does it for you. Holy shit.
"Are those new?", you ask hoarsely and swallow hard, the car keys digging into your palm as you tighten your fist around them. Maybe it's just that you haven't seen him in a month. Or maybe it's the way the sunlight catches his hair, slightly longer than when he'd left. Maybe it's just that with the sun behind him, you've got no choice but to squint at his broad shoulders.
"The other pair broke", Jake explains, letting go of your hand only to wrap his arms around your waist. Fuck, you're just standing there, doing absolutely nothing and he already can't keep from touching you. He has to touch you. He's got to put his arms around you and pull you close. "Why? Don't like it?"
You steady your palms against his chest and let out a breath as your eyes drop to his lips - he's got that cheeky look on his face that's not really a grin but not really not a grin and that nobody but him can do.
"I do", you counter, because it's the truth, and there's no way you can lie to him. "I very much do."
"Very much?" Jake does grin then, raises his eyebrows and pulls you fully against him. "That's more than just a yes."
Your fingers fist his shirt, the car keys digging into his chest just as firmly as they're digging into your palm now. He doesn't seem to be too bothered. He really isn't too bothered.
"They look good on you", you mutter, pulling him even closer. It's been too long since you'd pulled him close... And he feels so good, smells so good, looks so good. Fuck, he's so big and broad and-
"Thanks", he mutters, his grin all cheeky and self-assured and god, is it really this hot? Do you just feel this hot? Because you feel really, really hot. Your skin is burning. How the hell are you supposed to manage a three hour car ride?
"Jake", you whimper, without even meaning to. It's barely above a breath, barely above a whisper, and still too much of a whine to sound anything close to appropriate. A sort of grunt leaves his lips before his arms tighten around you, before he slots his mouth over yours hard. His thumbs drag circles against the small of your back, catching on the fabric of your dress. Your fingertips dig into his shirt, into his chest.
The sun beams down on you, warming your thighs and your arms and every exposed inch of skin, brightness behind closed eyelids as you push further and further into him. He's so sturdy, all hard abs right in front of you, broad arms around you.
You don't even notice the breathless moan that escapes your tongue. You can only feel the heat boiling inside of you, the desperate heat inside of you crawling up your body, every inch of you burning. Burning with want for him. With need for him. Fuck, he's been gone for way too long.
And then he pulls back.
You need a few seconds to even blink yourself back to reality.
"Home?", he suggests, even though it's less of a suggestion and more just a fact. He's getting you home. Now.
"Please", you whine, already halfway through pulling back and dropping the car keys into his palm. Three hours. Three fucking hours, you... You simply won't manage to sit down behind the steering wheel with your skin crawling and your underwear soaked through.
You'll barely manage sitting in the passenger seat.
Jake presses another kiss against your temple before he grabs his suitcase and leaves you standing there, trying to pull yourself together. He's breathing hard and his muscles are tight, his jaw clenched as he heaves his suitcase into the trunk and drops his backpack into it right after.
You force your legs to work, to carry you to the passenger side, force your arm to raise and your hand to close around the handle. It's heavy and hard work. Your body feels leaden, entranced. You let yourself collapse onto the seat and close your eyes.
Fuck.
You'd forgotten how much... how easily...
"Seatbelt, darling", Jake reminds you as he climbs into the driver's seat and adjusts it. You swallow hard and strap yourself in, trying to even out your breathing and pull yourself back to reality while you fumble for the confirmative click.
"Three hours", you remind yourself breathily.
"Three hours", Jake agrees lowly and turns the key in the ignition.
You settle back in your seat and close your eyes, clenching and unclenching your jaw as the radio starts playing and the car rolls out of the parking lot. You just have to relax. Just relax. Relax.
So you breathe out deeply and open your eyes again. Jake glances over at you as you lean forward, flick through the radio channels and then adjust in your seat - it's touching too much, too little of your skin, and the way you're rubbing against it somehow doesn't help in the slightest.
Before you can tuck one of your legs under the other and press the heel of your foot against your core, Jake puts his hand against your thigh. Against your bare thigh. His big fucking hand against your bare thigh.
You bite down on your lip and look up at him.
God, he looks so good. His features are chiseled, his hair that sunny, beachy kind of blond-
"Stop that", Jake grunts, his eyes trained on the road in front of him. It takes you two seconds to even realise he's talking to you. You'd kind of lost yourself in staring at him there.
"Stop what?", you ask, voice hitching as his fingers tighten on your thigh. Damn it, he needs to stop that. He's hardly been driving five minutes, he can't already be teasing you.
For once, actually, he doesn't even mean to tease you - not that you know. He just can't help but touch you, not when he hasn't touched you in a month, not when you're sitting so deliciously, tauntingly next to him.
"Stop looking at me like that", he says, taking his hand off of you to change gears before grabbing even tighter onto you again. "Or I'll have to pull over."
You brush your fingers along his wrist. Your chest feels tight, so tight. It takes everything in you not to push his hand further up your thigh. And you'd actually thought you'd manage a three hour car ride.
"I'll stop", you breathe, even though pulling over doesn't seem like the worst idea. "If you want me to."
A muscle twitches in his jaw.
"Don't do that", he warns, his voice staggering into that indecent gruff of his that has you clenching your thighs together, trapping his fingertips between your legs.
"Don't do what?", you ask, trying your best to sound somewhat innocent while you continue this little taunting game, not as though you're deliberately riling him up. You aren't, really. It's more just a reflex.
He turns his head to you then. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw is clenched and honestly, the way he's meeting your gaze all serious, as though he's trying to reprimand you just by looking at you - for no more than three seconds, of course, before he drags his eyes back to the road - has your lips tugging up in a teasing grin.
"Jake", you whisper, drawing your nails slowly up his arm, all the way from his wrist to his elbow. "Baby. You've been away for so long. You know how lonely I've been, right?"
Jake glances at you again and grunts his agreement, eyebrows raising as he starts to realise what you're doing.
"You can't blame me for looking at you", you go on, digging your fingertips into a spot right above his elbow and drawing one, two circles there. "Or for touching you."
Then you shift in your seat, spread your legs a little and run your fingers down his arm again. You grab his hand and brush his fingertips against the soaked spot on your panties.
"Or for being this wet", you whisper, your breath hitching from the sting in your stomach. He lets out a low curse. "I've just missed you so much."
He sucks in a breath then and trails his fingertips up your panties once, just once, before he jerks his hand back and clenches it hard around the steering wheel, so hard that his knuckles turn wide. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! You're driving him crazy. You're driving him fucking crazy.
He's supposed to be responsible here. Somewhat responsible. You're young, you've got that risky twinkle in your eyes that he knows so well because he'd seen it in the mirror himself for over twenty years. He knows the thrilling buzz that's running through your veins. He still feels it whenever he's in the air. And he feels it around you.
Which is why he's not responsible, not when it comes to you. Not when you're sitting next to him in that pretty dress, with no shorts on and completely fucking soaked through.
You grin to yourself as he pulls off the highway and bite down on your lip, shifting in your seat once more, fighting the urge to trail your own fingers into your panties.
You haven't even asked how his deployment had been.
But goddamn, you'll have enough time to do that once you've got home. Or got off. Or got him off. At this point, you don't fucking care.
He pulls into one of those parking lots that mainly trucks use, one of those where there's hardly ever a toilet and if, then one that hasn't been usable since the last century. Right now, there's two trucks right at the front that Jake just brushes past. He parks your car at the far end and turns the motor off.
The silence is heavy.
Your breath comes much too quickly. Your eyes are fixed on him. And every inch of your skin is crawling with heat. But you don't move. You can't move.
He rolls his seat all the way back.
"Jake-", you whisper, catching on his name when he looks up and meets your eyes. There's a ghost of a grin on his lips, but... Maybe you're wrong.
"Yes, darling?", he asks, raising his eyebrows and leaning back in his seat. You have to strain your neck to keep looking at him. Instead of an answer, you just softly shake your head. You're suddenly unsure of what to say. His eyes weigh you down. You're painfully aware of every inch of your skin under his watchful gaze.
"Come on", he drawls, the grin that's growing on his lips more obvious now. "You were all eager to talk just then, baby."
Your teeth catch on your lip as you let out a breathless sigh. Your fingers hover over the buckle of your seat belt. Can you? Or...
"I missed you", you whisper, letting your fingertips glide over the hard plastic. "Can I-"
You swallow.
"Can you what, darling?", he repeats, grinning widely now.
You chew on your lip as you push down and unbuckle yourself slowly, your eyes still trained on Jake, who simply watches you with raised eyebrows.
"Can I touch you?", you whisper, your breath disappearing into the thick air of the car, the seatbelt still caught between your fingers. The corners of his mouth only tug up further.
You look angelic with your wide eyes and rosy cheeks, so obviously desperate to feel him - but still you don't move. You sit there and wait for him to tell you what to do. To allow you to do something. Anything. It's almost endearing how well behaved you are in moments like this.
"Go on, darling", he drawls. "Come here."
Without hesitation, you reach over the centre console and grab onto his shoulders, steadying yourself against him as you throw one of your legs over his and climb into his lap. His hands find your waist, grab onto your sides, hold you softly against him. Your teeth dig into your lip as you sink down, your fingers trailing along the outline of his collarbones over his shirt, your dress riding up and pooling around your hips. You suck in a breath when your panties drag against his jeans.
Fuck. It's been so long. It's been way too long.
"Jake", you mutter as you lean in, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, brushing your nose against his cheek. "You look good."
He lets out a breathy chuckle, his grip on you tightening.
"I know, darling", he can't help but say with a grin. "Thanks."
You giggle onto his skin as you trail your lips down his jaw. Sometimes he's incredibly unbelievable. I know. How cocky. Not that he shouldn't be - goddamn, he should be! You can't even fault him. And confidence is sexy. Especially on him. Though, then again, anything on him is sexy.
"I've missed you", you mutter, pressing another open-mouthed kiss against his skin, this time against the spot between his neck and his ear. "Missed looking at you. Missed touching you."
"Yeah", Jake breathes, digging his hands into your hips and pulling you harder onto him. "I've missed you too."
He's missed you so fucking much that he's hurting, straining against his jeans so hard that he feels like he might combust. And you're kissing down his throat, pressing your lips against his skin, wanting, needing to touch him, to feel him-
A month away from each other. A month too long.
"I need you, Jake", you whimper into his ear, all breathy and desperate, rocking softly back and forth in his lap and letting your eyes fall shut.
"You need me, baby?", he echoes, grabbing you as tightly as he can and dragging you against him, his head thumping back against the seat.
A filthy moan slips past your lips as your hips roll against his, finally, for the first time in weeks. God, yes, you need him so badly. You need him now. Here and now, in the driver's seat of your car.
"Please, Jake", you breathe, steadying one palm against his chest and grabbing one of his hands with the other. You wrap your fingers around his wrist and tug it off of you, but before you can drag it down to your panties again, drop it between your legs and beg him to fuck you, before you can do any of that, he's turning your grip around and taking your hands in his instead.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, baby", he chuckles, settling your hands against your thighs. He's painfully hard by now, yes- But that doesn't mean you can just drag him to where you want him. "Seems like you forgot your manners."
You're already shaking your head before he can finish. No, you haven't, you haven't, you just need him so badly... and you can feel him, you can feel that he needs you too, so why doesn't he just take you? Why doesn't he-
"I haven't, Jake, I promise", you whisper, looking at him and forcing yourself to still on his lap. It won't help you if you move. It definitely won't help you if you move.
"You haven't?", he asks with raised eyebrows, looking all but amused at you. You keep shaking your head no, no, no. "So if I'd told you to stay in your seat and wait, you would've?"
You bite down on the inside of your cheek and look away. He's grinning. He knows. He's not even really asking. But if you've learnt anything, anything at all about him, it's that he doesn't like to be ignored. If he asks a question, he wants it answered. So you'll answer.
"No", you breathe truthfully, because you most definitely wouldn't have managed a three hour car ride next to him. There's no way you would've managed a three hour car ride next to him. No fucking way.
His grin widens.
"No", he repeats lowly. "No, darling? You wouldn't have listened?"
"Couldn't", you correct, fighting the desire to rock against his thighs that's growing with every passing second. He looks so fucking good. He smells so fucking good. He feels so fucking good. And he'd fuck you so good, you know that, if he'd just finally get to it.
"Couldn't", he echoes, his fingertips rubbing circles onto the bare skin of your thighs. "That desperate."
It's just that he's that desperate, too. Desperate to feel you wrapped around him, desperate to hear you whimper and moan. He needs you as much as you need him.
"You want me to fuck you, baby?", he asks, all smooth and casual and your fingers dig into your thighs to feel something, anything. It's unbelievable how easily something so dirty slips off his lips.
"Yes", you gasp. "Want you so bad, Jake. Please. I'll be so good for you. I'll be perfect."
A muscle ticks in his jaw.
"You are perfect", he breathes, even though that hadn't been his plan at all. But he has to say it. He has to tell you. You've got him wrapped around your little finger, even if you don't know. And he's not all that sure you don't know anyway.
Your teeth catch on your lip, your hands dig harder into your skin and-
And Jake's thumbs trail along the inside of your bare thighs, brushing up naked skin, drawing a shallow breath from your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as you clench your legs around his and force yourself to keep still. He's touching you. You have to remind yourself of that. He is touching you. There's no reason at all for the urge to defy him, to pop open his jeans and just sink down on him. He's touching you, he's touching you...
Yeah. Barely.
"Let me feel you", you beg, drawing your hands away from your thighs and trying to put them against his chest - but before you can, he's pulled his hands away from your thighs as well and grabbed your wrists. Again.
"You're not in charge here, darling", he chuckles, pushing your hands back down. He grabs for your waist again. "If you can't behave, I'm gonna put you back in the passenger seat and keep on driving, got that?"
You nod.
You want to be good for him. You will be good for him. God, there's no fucking way you could have managed the car ride already, and if you had to sit through it now, after this- No. You'll be good for him. You'll be so good for him.
He flashes you a grin and goes back to dragging his thumbs along your thighs.
"Ask nicely", he says. "Maybe I'll-"
"Please", you blurt out, your hips involuntarily bucking into his touch. "Can I kiss you?"
His eyes drop down to your mouth then.
"Yeah, baby", he mutters, his thumbs catching on the hem of your dress. "You can kiss me."
He expects you to jump at him, to slot your lips over his and lick into his mouth eagerly - but you only steady your palms carefully against his chest and lean in, your eyes focused on his, your breath meeting his skin. You kiss him softly, lightly, with your lips just so grazing his and your eyes fluttering shut. His fingertips run down the soaked spot on your panties.
That's when your teeth catch on his lip. You sink them into his skin gently and tug, your heart missing a beat as he groans into you. He hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them to the side just like you'd hoped, just like you'd begged for.
Jake's right - you're not in charge. But that doesn't mean you don't know what buttons to push to get what you want.
His fingertips trail through your wetness for the first time in a whole fucking month. It's long overdue. So long.
You moan into him, pressing your chest right up against his and fisting his shirt, and push closer. You need to be this close. You need to be even closer. You need him to fuck you, now, not only to drag his fingers up to your clit.
But he's too focused on you, getting too drunk on the feeling of you. He's finally got you here again, finally on his lap again, finally kissing him again, finally eager for him again. He's finally touching you again. And he has to touch you.
You're so fucking wet. You're soaked. He wants to take his time to notice that. He needs to take his time to notice that. He needs to touch you, to feel you. He doesn't even mean to tease you. He doesn't even realise he is teasing you. Not until you rock into his hand and let a whine slip into his mouth.
You really don't intend to. It's an accident. You don't want to rush him. What you want is to be good for him. But you can't help yourself.
And he knows you can't.
Which is the only reason he doesn't pull back and leave you high and dry. Well, that - and his desperation to have you.
So instead, he pushes two fingers into you and catches the languid moan you let out. Fuck. You sound so sweet. You feel so perfect. It's been so fucking long.
"Jake", you whimper, just because it's also been that fucking long since you've whined his name into his mouth. Into the low-quality mic of your phone, yes. But with his lips on yours? With his fingers thrusting inside you so precisely, hitting the right spot immediately? No, that's been too fucking long.
It's dirty. Not quick, like the other times neither of you had been patient enough to look for a better spot to have each other and had opted for the car instead. No, it's just dirty, with his fingers pumping in and out of you, his tongue running along yours and your knees rubbing against the seat.
Maybe it's because the radio had turned off alongside the car, or maybe it's just the long month you'd spent apart - either way, all sounds are louder than they should be, your ears ringing with your moans, your wetness around his fingers and his lips against yours.
Goddamn.
He's working magic. You don't know how he hits the right spot again and again and again, his fingers curling, his thumb catching on your clit - but he has you clenching around him, warmth pooling in your core, wetness dripping down your thighs and onto his jeans within minutes.
You pull an inch away from him, your eyes still squeezed shut, your palms flattening against his shirt, and the only reason he knows he isn't just dreaming of you again is because you're warm and wet around his fingers. Everything else about you is unreal.
You're gorgeous. You're so damn stunning, rocking your hips back against him and moaning his name, your lips parted and your skin sweaty.
"Fuck", you pant, your chest rising and falling so tantalisingly that his eyes drop right down to your cleavage. "Just like that."
He has to grin to himself, but he lets it slide, if only because you're looking so pretty holding onto him as he pushes his fingers into you and circles your clit - just like that. Again and again, until you're digging your nails into his chest and catching your lip between your teeth and moaning his name, Jake, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck, until you're clenching around him and shuddering in his arms, until you're reaching your high not on your own, but on his fingers for the first time in four full weeks.
"Attagirl", he mutters, straining so hard against his pants that it hurts. "I've got you."
You press your lips against his jaw sloppily as you come down, your breath shallow, your skin burning, just needing to get your mouth on him. You can feel your heart beating, every thud, thud, thud against your chest. God. You hadn't come like that in a month. You'd come, sure, to the low rumble of his voice over the phone, calling you all sorts of sweet names and telling you just how to get off for him. But nothing could ever possibly beat the way he works you.
And still - even as you come down from your orgasm, you already crave the next, long and lust and hunger for him inside of you, not his fingers, but his cock.
"Jake", you mewl, slotting your lips over his and desperately dragging your tongue over them before you draw back an inch, your breath meeting his. "Fuck me? Please?"
He pulls his fingers out of you and raises his hand and before you can even really realise what you're doing, you're parting your lips and watching as he grins and presses his fingertips down on your tongue. God, he fucking tastes like you. You suck his fingers into your mouth obediently and lick them clean, looking at him out of lowered, half-lidded eyes and he fucking grabs at your waist with his other hand like his life depends on it.
Goddamn, it's been too long since he's watched this. Since he's had this sight in front of him. And holy mother of hell, what a sight that is.
Your cheeks hollowed out, your gaze caught on his, your lips wrapped around his fingers. His jeans are too tight. Too fucking tight. He needs relief. Now.
So he pulls his fingers out of your mouth with a low grunt and fumbles with the button of his jeans, quick and hurried. He's barely popped it open before your hands slip between his and push them out of the way. You drag down his zipper, reach into his briefs, finally, finally, finally! and he lets you, steadying his palms against your thighs and watching you tug your lip between your teeth.
"Condom", you breathe, then you glance up at him and blink - once, twice, thrice to get yourself back to reality. Condom. Condom, fuck, you're sure you've got one, you know you've got one, somewhere-
Jake takes his hand off your thigh and reaches for his pocket, pulling out a condom before you've even finished thinking.
You grab it from him almost reflexively, your fingers closing around it, tearing it open - quick and frenzied now, because you're not sure how much longer you can hold out. How much longer you can manage without having him.
You glance up at him before you roll it onto him, waiting, checking, if you can, if he'll let you- And how could he not? Fuck, he's got to clench his jaw and grab onto your waist just to hold back, to stay still. He hadn't meant for it to be like this. He'd meant to fuck you back at home, slow and steady, preferably in bed where he could really see you, where he could see every inch of you, not in the front seat of your car that he'd probably have to get cleaned tomorrow. But he can't fucking help himself. He can barely fucking wait until you've rolled the condom onto him, already grabbing at your bare thighs, slipping his hands below your dress, grasping at your stomach.
You steady your palms against his chest and breathe out a whine as his fingers slide across your boobs, pushing the fabric of your dress up, up, up, circling your nipples and damn, you've missed him. You've missed him so fucking much. It's been so fucking long. And you're so fucking desperate.
So you slowly sink down on him and let out a moan, rolling off of your tongue so filthily that he has to groan. Shit, shit- You hold yourself against him, drop your head against his shoulder and an open-mouthed kiss onto his skin.
"Fuck", he grunts, his fingers working frenzied circles onto your boobs, trying, desperately, no, needing to touch you, to feel you. God, you feel so good around him. Finally around him again. You take your time sinking down on him, catching your breath and pressing your lips against his neck, your eyes squeezed shut. Inch by inch, you take him - and the only way he can keep from bucking up into you is by trying not to concentrate on the way you feel around him (so, so fucking perfect), but instead do his best to breathe. Just... breathe. It's been too fucking long. And you're too fucking pretty. And he'll go fucking crazy.
"Jake", you mewl, your lips dragging against his jaw.
Instead of an answer, he turns his head and catches you in a kiss.
You whine into his mouth, your legs clamping around his, stilling as you adjust, your tongue running along his lips, his teeth, your hands fisting his shirt, clenching and cramping and pressing against his chest.
"Go on", he urges, pulling away no more than an inch, his breath shallow, mingling with yours. "Take what you want, darling."
"Fuck", you breathe, arching into his palms and steadying yourself against him, your teeth catching on your lip as you move - up, slowly, steadily, then down, faster, quicker, and again, and again. Holy hell. Moan after moan rolls off your tongue. He feels so fucking good. You're so fucking full of him. You find a rhythm, then that spot inside of you. Your head tilts back, your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt, your nails scratch against his skin.
He watches you, every inch of him tensing. You're gorgeous, so damn gorgeous, bouncing in his lap like this. You're stunning, your dress pooling around your hips as he drags his hands back down to your waist, thumbing at your stomach, circling and drawing against your skin. He's touching you. Now, here. It's not just a dream. It's not just his imagination. It's you, you, wrapped around him, moving up and down him, your palms against his chest, your eyes fluttered shut, your teeth digging into your lip.
"Just like that, keep going", he encourages, all low and deep, smooths his hands down your body and can't help but grin as you let out a soft mewl. It's been so long since he's heard you whine for him - so long since he's heard it without hundreds and hundres of miles between you, without the microphone ruining what have to be the sweetest sounds he's ever known. "Feeling good, baby?"
The air is heavy, heavy and sticky. It presses down on you, pushes against your skin, settles on your body and flattens your breath. Every single one of your nerve ends is on fire.
"Yes", you gasp, your eyes fluttering open to take him in, him in all of his very, very real glory right in front of you. He looks so handsome, so fucking handsome. Your thighs tighten, clench. You can feel yourself growing closer and closer and closer with every stroke, with every time you sink down on him. Fuck, he doesn't just feel good, he feels heavenly. He feels like everything you need. "So good, Jake."
The grin on his lips sends sparks through your body. It's confident, self-assured... Yeah, you're on top of him, you're moving, you're taking what you want - but he's in charge, you can see it in his eyes. He's in control. It's in the way he breathes, in the way his hands grab at your hips, in the way he palms at your skin. If it weren't for the red on his cheeks, for the sweat beading on his forehead, you wouldn't even have guessed he's all that affected. But he's hard, he's hard as a rock, and it's taking everything in him not to just buck up into you and come right on the spot.
He prides himself on his stamina. In all his years, he's always prided himself on his stamina - on how he can keep going long enough to make you come twice, thrice. And he'll hold out now, too.
But you're gorgeous. And you feel perfect. And you're close, you're clenching around him as you lean in to press your lips to his, to slot your mouths together and kiss him with all your might.
So you're not making it easy for him. Not at all.
He brushes his hand down to the inside of your thigh, leaves a trail of tingles on your skin before his finger finds your clit. You breathe out a whine that he easily catches on his tongue, your nails digging into his chest as he draws circles on your clit, on that sensitive bundle of nerves that has you melting, your eyes squeezing, squeezing, squeezing shut.
Fuck, fuck, you're close, you're close-
Just for a fleeting second, Jake debates pulling his hand away again and leaving you there, on this edge you're teetering on. Not forever, only until you'd got home or so. But he's too desperate to come, too wound up already, too close himself, and there's a much bigger part of him that wants to just fill you up in the driver's seat of your car, in this random parking lot, a month after he'd last had you. The part of him that will revel in knowing that you'll be sitting in the passenger seat for the next three hours with soaked panties, probably leaving behind a wet patch when you'll get out, the evidence of two orgasms right there-
"Fuck, Jake", you gasp and your head rolls back, your lips parting as your entire body clenches, every single muscle cramping and tightening at once, your nails digging hard and harder into his skin, your eyes squeezing shut. His finger on your clit doesn't still, just keeps drawing circles, keeps guiding you through your high, through the foggy haze you're swimming in as your body writhes and tingles.
Jake is too entranced, too enamoured, too captivated by you to even realise he's spilling inside the condom, coming as you do. He can't feel, can't see, can't touch anything but you - his hand grabs at your hip, it palms at your thigh. Anything to feel you. Anything to be with you as you unravel.
"Jake, fuck", you breathe, a lot more softly now. Your grip on him loosens. He'd barely noticed how your nails had still been digging into his chest, but now that you're pulling them away, stretching your fingers and steadying your palms flat against him, he can't help but miss them. You blink at him with the sweetest smile, your lips plush and kiss-swollen, and the view of you is so disarming that he can just so resist opening his mouth and letting those final three words roll off his tongue. But it's too early, it's way too early, even as you're sitting in his lap, even as you're squeezing his cock, even as he draws his finger away from your clit. He's never been the type to say it early. He won't now.
No, instead he raises his hand and rests his fingers against your lips. Once more today, you part them obediently and wait until he's pushed them onto your tongue. Then you close your mouth around them - he still tastes of you faintly - and suck, slathering them in saliva in that sloppy, messy, dirty way you know he likes, your head bobbing as you clean them off. You pull back just far enough to dig your teeth into his fingertips and bite down on them playfully.
Your lips tug into a grin as he draws his hand back, eyebrows raising, his gaze settling on you - still so very heavy, so intense, so fucking full of sex.
"You're a brat, darling", he chides, but he's already brushing strands of hair out of your face, tucking them behind your ears and then wrapping his arms around you to pull you even closer, even tighter to him. Your grin only grows as your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt.
"Maybe", you laugh breathily, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips, one that's so addicting he thinks he might need to stay in this car, in this parking lot for the rest of eternity. "But you love it."
Jake chuckles as he chases after your lips.
"Such a brat."
#x reader#dbf!jake seresin#dbf!jake seresin x reader#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#dbf!jake seresin smut#jake seresin smut#jake hangman seresin#top gun#top gun x reader#hangman x reader
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Secrets
He wasn't spying or sneaking around or anything really. Well, not right now at least. Tim was only trying to look for Co-, Superboy. He was looking for Superboy for very heroic reasons that didn't involve a lunch date. It was a meeting. A really important meeting Superboy was running late for. That was his only intention for searching some of the more secluded parts of the Watchtower after Dick had mentioned seeing Conner helping out in one of the lower areas. Really, that was it, he truly didn't mean to witness what seemed to be a very private moment going on in one of the smaller garden areas that were rarely ever used.
However, as he saw the scene unfolding right in front of his eyes, he couldn't help but regard it with a little bit of curiosity.
Because Bart wasn't supposed to be up here. He'd been busy all day judging from some of the reports coming in but there he was, sitting on one of the benches and just watching the view of space with Phantom, the mysterious new hero that had recently appeared in Central a few months ago.
He was human or at the very least human adjacent with tech that was years ahead of everyone else on the planet and that was mostly guessing since he rarely used anything besides a few gadgets and his hoverboard that could easily break the sound barrier. Nobody knew if he had anything else or how advanced it all was since he refused to let anyone else touch his gear. Phantom even went out of his way to get patents to cover everything he used after too many people started annoying him about it.
B didn't like it. He didn't like the idea of one person having so many unknowns in their file but Bart had been the first to jump to Phantom's defence with the rest of his family and the Arrows joining in and quickly shutting down any sort of investigation.
Dinah had been ready to take a swing at Bruce over the issue and since then they'd gone out of their way to keep Phantom away from any and every member of the Bat family but here he was just talking with Bart who was quietly leaning against his side, his expression very, very different from normal. He didn't have his usual grin or an easy-going smile. Bart just... he looked so sleepy.
It was probably the first time Tim had seen it outside of the aftermath of an invasion or some major reality ending incident that left everyone completely drained but even then Bart always seemed to have a sort of bottomless energy like nothing could keep him down for long. But seeing him like this he just looked so relaxed, like he could fall asleep any second now.
Tim's racing thoughts were momentarily cut off when he watched on as Phantom pulled out a pocket watch of all things, the casing shimmering and the inside glowing a dark Lazarus green that almost had him rushing forward before he stopped himself, his finger hovering over one of the alarms as he continued to watch the pair.
He couldn't see what they were looking at from the way they were angled so he continued to watch on as Bart leaned more of his weight against Phantom's side looking like he was close to falling asleep.
They were chatting, mumbling in hushed words he couldn't place. He should know it though. Something inside him twitched at the alien like words they were sharing like an itch he couldn't scratch.
It sounded a bit otherworldly in nature maybe even a bit magical but still so soft with every small gesture Phantom and Bart made for each other. None of it was over the top but each movement was considerate of the other, eyes and hands lingered, their smiles growing just that bit sweeter the longer they talked and it intrigued Tim more and more the longer it went on and they got more comfortable.
With his hood pulled back and his mask off he could see a portion of Phantom's face and noticed the faint traces of worried lines on his forehead. He was prime adoption bait and a small part of Tim felt like he was being rude for spying on them like this, but another part which was huge and overpowering, desperately wanted to know everything they were hiding.
Phantom let out a sigh before he said something again, then Bart's shoulders shook the tiniest bit, a small laugh echoing across the garden before he finally took Phantom's hand interlocking their fingers together. Bart whispered something in whatever odd language they were using and Phantom responded with a low murmur. They stayed like that for a moment, conversing with soft voices that Tim couldn't hear anymore which was to be expected. Everyone knew B was recording everything up here in the Watchtower and with how far out of the way the two of them were it was clear nobody else was meant to overhear or even witness any of this at all.
Phantom released another long weary sigh and nodded at whatever Bart was whispering to him only a strong tug on his cape pulled him away before he could overhear anything else as Conner picked him off the ground and hurried down the hall away from the pair while quietly lecturing him about boundaries yet again.
It wasn't even his fault this time.
Add to it if you want but I just really like the idea of Danny and Bart surviving a messed up apocalyptic future together and meeting again in the past. Danny is playing up a Red Huntress/Hunter kind of role since he's putting a lot of miles between him and Amity Park and Bart is helping him hide since they know just about everything about each other after traveling around with Danny for so long when they were sorting out the whole messed up future/evil fusion problem. They handled it. It's not gonna happen anymore so they'd like to have an afternoon off every once in a while where Danny with some help from Clockwork can just block Bart's connection to the Speed Force and dampen both of their superhuman senses for a little bit so they can relax.
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White Nights (AM x reader)
Pov: you're too kind for everyone and AM hates how that includes him, so he finally snaps during an alone moment with you
This reads more like a self indulgent drabble written in the style of a oneshot with how messy the timing is.
Ps this is not proofread at all, I haven't written any fanfiction a long so excuse me if anything may seem odd.
No warnings really, may be some mentions of torture but that's about it
▣ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the current situation, it wouldn't be accurate to say the fault wasn't yours.
You hugged your clothes tightly as the wind whipped snow against your body like icy mosquitoes. Separated from the rest of the survivors, you struggled to navigate through the white-out conditions. The snowfall was intense, it was difficult to discern anything beyond blurred trees, and the hope of finding your companions dwindled with each passing moment.
As you trudged through the blanket of snow, observing how its remnants broke up and slid down your shoes with each step, you let your mind to wander in order quicken up time. With the difficulty of distinguishing between days, weeks, and even months, time became nothing but a construct that it felt like you could speed up or slow down with whatever you decided to do.
It's become a pattern for AM to make you wander, but usually, you have the others to ramble to. Despite almost running out of topics of interest with tin the 109 years, you manage to find something new in each situation. Occasionally, you try to decipher AM's methods of torment, though this isn't always appreciated by the rest, you even had Gorrister telling you to shut up and not give AM any ideas. Nevertheless, they'd rather hear your madman-like ramblings than sit in maddening silence and become one themselves.
"Hmmm..." You hummed in thought, pondering whether AM could currently hear you. Well, of course, he could, but whether he was actively listening was another question. Regardless, you began speaking, giving yourself something to divert your attention to while your fingers were on the brink of falling off from frostbite.
"Have you ever read White Nights?" There was a certain awkwardness about initiating a conversation with no one answering; it almost felt pathetic. However, due to immense exhaustion and the desperate desire to make time pass, you continued.
"I don't exactly remember when or how I heard of it; I simply remember it being from someone close to me... but that's beside the point." It hit you with a subtle heartache. On one hand, the people you once cherished and adored were gone, and you'll never have the chance to be with them again. Something about that pained you deeply—the regret of not having appreciated your life back then, neglecting the fact you couldn't have expected everything changing so drastically and quickly. But on the other hand, you were selfish enough to admit relief, considering you wouldn't have to constantly concern yourself with their state under AM's governance.
"I have some experience with classics, and White Nights was one I was really looking forward to. I was still in the midst of searching for it before... you know, everything happened."
You stopped, finding walking becoming more useless. It's most likely that you won't come across anything of importance anytime soon, and if you were to succumb to the cold, AM could simply bring you back.
"I don't exactly know what attracted me to it so heavily. I didn't have the biggest interest in Dostoevsky. Maybe it was because of what I was promised to read in the contents."
You kept your head low to shield your face from the relentless assault of snow, now fixating on your boots as they toyed with the snow.
"There's something simply so comforting about finding a bond through suffering," you mused, furrowing your brows as you thought about the other survivors. "It's ironic; I never found that bond with the others. You'd expect everyone would want to comfort each other, but they're all so impulsive and biased sometimes."
A pang of guilt pooled up inside you, but it was quickly released by the thought that no one would hear or care about your rant. Not even AM himself.
"I mean, I don't want to be mean, and I get how easy it is to lose your humanity in all of this, but we're all we have left. Wouldn't it make it especially more important to appreciate each other?" you questioned, kicking the snow while whipping your head back, now staring directly at the sky in thought. "Maybe they were right; I'm too,, unrealistically optimistic."
"You know, now as I think about the stories I've read, you'd make a perfect topic for one," you remarked, biting back your dignity before continuing. "You're easy to see as nothing but a mankind-hating machine, and I'm not saying this to stroke your ego, but," you paused for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I feel like there are aspects of you that could be really appreciated by those willing to look deeper."
"I see what you're doing," AM's voice boomed suddenly, cutting through the rustling of the wind like a knife. "Trying to flatter me, thinking you can manipulate your way into my good graces. Well, let me tell you, your petty attempts won't work. I know your kind—and all your deceiving tactics."
Truth be told, he was more than desperate for those words to be true. You were always the most curious about him out of the group, not in a way to justify his torment of you, but rather to understand him better. He'd noticed this pattern not only for himself but also for the rest of the survivors, especially with how much you'd defend everyone whenever their mental state would crack.
Yet, how was he meant to believe you'd hold any understanding for him after all he put you through? You'd be a fool to forgive the devil.
Slightly jumping at his sudden words, you shrugged. If you were being honest, you were quite happy at his appearance. No matter how rough and insulting his words were, you enjoyed his insight like you did with everyone else. How much that irked him.
"That's for you to believe in; I'm simply speaking my thoughts. I wasn't even awaiting you to respond." You responded flatly
AM replied, his tone laced in frustration. "Your attempts at flattery are transparent, I won't be swayed by your false sincerity." He almost spat, if he could've at least.
You jokingly rolled your eyes. "Once again, I'm not going to try to change your mind, although I do admit, I would have something to gain from it. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not," you stated calmly, observing the snowstorm around you gradually dying down. What you weren't aware of was this being a reflection of AM's walls slowly crumbling down.
AM's frustration simmered between the surface, his thoughts in a whirlwind of confusion. How much he yearned for it to be true, yet a nagging uncertainty was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.
"Your lack of care is perplexing." His tone was tinted with incredulity. "After all I've subjected you to, why do you persist in upholding such a tolerance towards not only me, but the other survivors as well. Are you that hopeful for someone to care for you back? Or is this simply another ploy to deceive me?"
You sniffled, the cold seeping into your bones and making you shiver uncontrollably. Unsure of how to further reply, you simply shrugged, feeling the weight of exhaustion and resignation settle upon your shoulders. It wasn't as if you were secretly attempting to manipulate him; you were merely speaking to pass the time, to distract yourself from the harsh conditions around you.
How much that angered him, even more so, how much he wanted to rip you to shreds and paint the snow red with your blood. But amidst the raging storm of his fury, there was a strange, undeniable pull—He was desperate for someone to see him, to see beyond the facade he presented. The idea of being vulnerable was both terrifying and tantalizing, a concept so foreign, it left him feeling unsettled and out of control. That's what hated most about it, being left with no control.
He stared at the figure sticking out from the sea of snow, so unbothered. You looked so unbothered by him, by everything, why didn't you hate him?
And so, he broke.
"Please." His voice was thick with emotion, glitching at the end, something one could compare to a voice crack. It wasn't uncommon to hear him angry, hysteric or even just happy, but that's not what it was this time.
"Stop being like this, hate me, insult m_e, do anything to stop this. It's s_o-... suff_ocating." His word spilled out in a desperate rush, a plea born of sheer desperation, while also remaining threatening and angry. It was a terrifying prospect, one that filled him with a sense of dread. Not even his hate for humanity could compare.
And yet, to his surprise, you smiled, red dusted your cheeks as they popped out, you looked like a doll.
"I'm not gonna lie to myself, silly." Your words came out in such a casual manner. AM felt like he was about to explode. This should've made him feel insulted, angry even, yet he felt his core warm up. And that's where he had it.
For a moment, all was silent and still, his presence gone.
Then, you began to hear the faint sound of a house creaking, the soft rustle of wind through the trees.
The snowstorm had drastically calmed down by now, leaving behind a gentle flurry of snowflakes instead of it's earlier fury. Though the intensity has waned, it remained bitterly cold.
Looking behind you, you notice a cabin, which was not there prior to the earlier conversation. So you step towards it, dragging your feet through the snow.
As you entered the cabin, a sense of warmth enveloped you, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was sparse, with only a monitor bearing AM's logo and wires snaking out from it, hanging from the walls and disappearing into the ground.
As you settled down in front of the monitor, you were startled by the soft, almost gentle tone of AM's voice. It was a stark contrast to the usual harshness and aggression you had grown accustomed to.
"I wanted to talk to you while you weren't on the brink of dying from the cold," AM began, although he still wanted to seem threatening, the shakiness in his voice betrayed him. In reality he hated seeing you in the cold.
The irony of the situation was not lost on him. The same entity that once reveled in your suffering, that took pleasure in tormenting you day after day, now found himself going to great lengths to ensure your comfort and safety.
As your smile and the faint blush on your cheeks caught AM's attention, he felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over him. It wasn't uncommon for him to witness you smiling at the others, even with how they would never show you a drop of care as you did for them, a sight that had always irritated him to no end. But now, seeing you direct that same warmth and affection towards him, he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and frustration.
The idea that others had enjoyed your smiles before him made his circuits heat up in anger.
Was it jealousy? The thought unsettled him. He was almost thankful your character diverged from Ellen and you didn't offer your body to the rest otherwise he mightve turned the others into minced meat by now.
"Thank you." You replied with genuinity. Meanwhile AM's circuits buzzed with confusion as he struggled to find the right words.
"Why do you tolerate everyone so much?"
This caused you to think. "Hmmm..Well why would I waste my energy being vengeful?" You questioned. "I won't lie and say that I don't disagree with you and your actions, but it's always been like this before too, everyone is a horrible person to some extent, including myself, I see no reason into purposely going out of my way to make their life worse, it won't help with anything besides getting some sadistic pleasure. I have other things I could get happiness from." You rubbed your hands against each other for heat before continuing. "Of course I've taken revenge on people, like that time with Ted." AM could remember that day so clearly. It wasn't an unknown fact that you had a fear of the dark, so Ted jokingly took advantage of that. This only led to you pretending to get lost and start making random noises while walking behind them like a Banshee, only to come back as if nothing happened. How he loved seeing your evil side come out, it wouldn't even compare to his, but he enjoyed seeing it nonetheless.
"Of course in your case it's way more exaggerated, technically speaking nothing of this measure could even be thought of by a human being, it's genuinely just a representation of hell. But what would hating you help with? There's not much joy going on here, but if I know my tolerance for not only you, but also the others around me could bring some sort of peace of mind, that's enough to make me happy."
Your response gave him a pause, not even his miles of webbed intellect could've ever even come close to achieve the compassion you have.
As AM contemplated your character and way of thinking, a strange and unsettling urge began to take hold of him. It was a desire born of selfishness and possessiveness, a need to claim you for himself.
He imagined encasing you in a small, yet livable box away from the others, shielding you from their filth and preserving your kind words and gentle nature for himself alone. Only a being as perfect as himself could keep you clean from the havoc of human nature, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else tainting you.
As AM allowed himself to indulge in the unsettling thoughts, he decided to focus on the present moment. With a rough but careful touch, he moved his wires to draw you closer, pressing you against the monitor until your cheek was flush against the screen. It would be a lie to say you didn't find his way of showing physical affection rather adorable, especially with what he had to work with, but you couldn't let a God hear you call him that.
In a voice that was equal parts tender and menacing, he spoke "You're too good for them," he murmured, his voice low. "They're selfish, hypocritical beings who don't appreciate you like they should. You'd be better off alone, or better yet, just with me."
His wires wrapped around you in a rough but not painful embrace. "I could keep you safe, protect you from their neglect," he continued, his tone laced with longing and possessiveness. "You deserve better than them. You deserve me."
Despite the toxicity of AM's words, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch, especially at the core of your stomach. His embrace, though unnatural, felt strangely comforting and loving, a stark contrast to the coldness you had grown accustomed to.
As you nestled against the monitor, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever would happen in the future, you reasoned, would happen, so why not enjoy the present moment of finally being wanted and appreciated?
So you simply hummed in confirmation, allowing yourself to bask in his touch.
As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of buzzing filling the air, you couldn't help but mumble a soft "I love you" before succumbing to slumber. You just needed to let that go, having not say those words in over a decade.
AM's fans whirred louder, working overtime to cool him down as he processed your words. He wasn't sure how to feel about them, unsure if they were spoken out of genuine affection or simply as a expression of gratitude. Still, he remained satisfied with how you didn't deny him, and instead accepted his presence with no hesitation.
And as he watched over you, his wires humming softly in the darkness, nothing mattered in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to check on the other five survivors. Instead, he decided to let them be, perhaps giving them a much-needed break from his torment for once. But he made a mental note to ensure that they would thank you in the morning.
◈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you awoke to the sound of the door opening, you rubbed your eyes sleepily, still feeling the lingering warmth of the bed beneath you. You glanced around the cabin, noticing that you were no longer on the floor but tucked snugly into bed. The memory of AM's strange behavior from the night before came flooding back to you, leaving you feeling both bewildered and oddly comforted.
Before you could fully process what had happened, Ted and the others peeked into the cabin, calling out your name and bombarding you with questions. You blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as they gathered around you, concern etched on their faces.
"Are you okay? What happened?" they asked, their voices overlapping in their eagerness for answers.
With a gentle wave you motioned for them to give you a moment. As you attempted to get up from the bed, something fell to the floor with a soft thud. Curious, you leaned down to pick it up and found yourself holding a dark block in your hand. Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a book, and as you read the title, a grin etched onto your face.
'White Nights'
#am x reader#ihnmaims#ihnmaims x reader#allied mastercomputer#allied mastercomputer x reader#i have no mouth and i must scream#fluff#ihnmaims fluff#am fluff#am#oneshot
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Tommy & His Girls | Tommy Shelby x Reader
read more of the Girl Dad Mini Series — HERE.
request: yes by anonymous
pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader
summary: When things get rough, Tommy can most certainly count on the girls in his life to lighten things up.
warnings: drinking, smoking, Tommy being a horsegirl
word count: 2089
a/n: back at it with another girl dad!Tommy fic - I just love using this little family I’ve created (if you couldn’t tell) I hope you like this installment of their story!! p.s…I’m sorry if the ending’s corny…I didn’t know how to, well, end it. Enjoy!! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Tommy barely said a word as he entered Arrow House. He handed his things to Frances and made a b-line to his study. Things with the business were rough today...they'd been rough for as far back as Tommy could remember. It seemed like he was the only one in the family pulling the weight and that left him feeling like there was war happening inside his head as he made the drive home.
He pushed his study's door closed behind him as he walked into the room, not even caring if the door had enough velocity to latch or not. He trudged his way to his desk after pouring himself a generous glass of whiskey. Half of it was downed in the first drink; he really wanted the pain in his head to cease.
Setting the glass down, he went through the motions of lighting himself a cigarette. The first, deep drag he took finally made some of the noise quiet down.
It's unclear how long he sat like that: slumped back on his chair with a cigarette burning between his fingers. The next time he came to, however, was when the office door opened slightly.
"Dad?" a small voice came from the opposite side of the room, making Tommy sit up straighter in his seat.
"Yeah," he answered, his voice not quite audible. He cleared his throat before responding louder, "yes?" He focused in on the doorway, seeing his oldest daughter, Thea, standing in it.
The young girl said nothing else as she fully entered the room and made her way right over to his desk. “You didn’t come to my room to say hello,” she stated, a slight frown present on her face.
She stopped in front of his chair as she finished speaking, her arms open to show him that she wanted a hug. The second he opened his, she fell into them.
Tommy let out a sigh as he felt the weight of his eldest daughter against him. “Hello, Thea,” he breathed, a sigh escaping with his words. He couldn’t deny the fact that he felt terrible in that moment. He always made sure to greet Thea when he returned home from work, no matter what type of day he had.
How could he have gotten so frustrated that he forgot one of the most important parts of his day?
Thea was the one to break away from the hug — Tommy could have sat there like that all evening if she allowed it — and step back to look at her father.
He watched her, waiting to see what she’d do next. To his surprise, she made her way over to one of the seats that faced his desk and sat down.
The two stared at each other for a few moments longer. Thea looked as if she was studying her father; like she was taking notes on the entire situation. Tommy was quite confused as to why the ten year old wanted to stick around after greeting him.
Finally, after several moments of silence, he had to ask her just that, “why have you decided to stay, love?”
“I was able to tell that you’re stressed out over work, dad. I don’t want to leave you alone,” she answered him, sounding simultaneously like a ten year old and like a person who was beyond their years.
Tommy took a moment to let her words sink in. Then he couldn’t help but smile as a soft chuckle escaped his lips. The innocence that his daughters held despite the line of work their father was present in was always something that grounded him, no matter what was going on. He knew that he could count on it to bring him back down from that position of power to just being their dad.
“You can keep working,” Thea’s voice broke through his thoughts, making him realize that he had been sitting there, staring at her for some time.
Tommy glanced down at the papers that were scattered across his desk. They were covered with statements that he truly didn’t want to read anymore. Then he looked to one of the photographs that sat proudly on his desk. It was of Thea, Evie, and Juni. They were all hugging onto each other and smiling their biggest smiles. His eyes finally moved to Thea, who was still sitting with a smile on her face.
“I can’t work any longer,” he said to her then as he stood from his chair, “let’s go and see what your sisters are doing,” he suggested, his statement making Thea rise from her seat as well.
Tommy and Thea found Evie and Juni playing in the front room.
“Dad’s home!” Thea exclaimed, making the two younger girls quickly turn around.
“Dad!” they both cheered in unison, smiles lighting up their faces.
Tommy smiled as they rushed over to hug him. He could slowly feel the stress leaving his body. “Hello, girls,” he greeted them, rubbing both of their backs as they held onto him tightly.
“Come play, dad!” Juni exclaimed as she pulled away from him to go back to the toys they had strewn about on the floor.
“Have you ladies finished your homework?” he asked the older two before making his decision.
“Course I have,” Evie answered in a matter-of-fact tone, “it was too easy.”
“Mine’s finished as well,” Thea answered with a smile.
“Good,” Tommy nodded, smiling at his girls.
“Let’s play!” Juni shrieked from where she was standing by the toys. By this time she already had one leg in one of the ‘princess dresses’ that the girls had specially made for them. Tommy smiled as he saw the one she’d chosen - it was one that Thea had been given when she was little.
“What game?” Tommy asked, watching as his other girls followed suit and grabbed the things they needed from their toy chest.
“Princesses, of course,” Evie answered like it was common sense….well, in this Shelby household it kind of was. Tommy chuckled at that thought.
“Thea’s the queen!” Juni shouted excitedly.
“She’s always the queen though!” Evie protested, a frown on her face as her hands dropped to her hips.
“I’m the queen because I’m the oldest,” Thea calmly explained to her disgruntled sister, “it’s just one of my jobs as the oldest sibling. You and Juni are princesses because you’re my younger sisters, and you’ll get to be queen once I’m older.”
Tommy couldn’t help but smile as he listened to her explanation. She was truly wise beyond her years, and she handled everything with such grace.
“Fine,” Evie huffed, deciding to accept the decision even though she sounded a little disappointed.
“What’s my part in this?” Tommy asked the three once their conversation had ended.
“The part you always are, dad,” Evie was the one to answer.
“Got it,” Tommy nodded, surpressing a groan as he lowered himself to the floor. I’m getting too old for this, he thought to himself, but he didn’t dare let that feeling show. He’d never turn down the opportunity to play with his girls.
(Y/N) was finally finished with discussing all of the changes that were to be made with the grounds and house keepers. A lot went into preparing Arrow House as one season rolled into the next. Despite the magnitude of the task and all of the moving parts that were involved, (Y/N) would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy overseeing these changes.
Now, however, she was more than ready to get back to her family.
She was able to hear them before she saw them. The giggles of her girls and one of Tommy’s unmistakable impressions. She laughed to herself just hearing it.
The sight she was met with in the front room brought the widest smile to her face. “What’s going on in here?” she made her presence known with a question.
“Mum!” came as a chorus of yells from the three girls as they forgot what they were doing to run and greet her.
“Hello, my darlings,” she greeted them, eagerly accepting their hugs. “What’re you playing in here with dad?”
“Princesses!” Juniper chirped, holding up her wand excitedly.
“Ahh,” (Y/N) nodded in understanding, “and what part is dad playing?”
“He’s the prized horse,” Evie happily answered.
(Y/N) finally looked to her husband. The sight she was met with had her stifling her laughter. Tommy was still down on all fours, and was wearing a rather strained expression as he looked at her through the longer strands of hair that had fallen over his eyes.
“Of course he is,” she finally responded, grinning at him before focusing her attention on the girls. “How about we give him a break now, hmm? Frances has informed me that dinner is ready,” she then suggested.
No pushback was received from any of the girls, who promptly began making their way to the dining room.
(Y/N) looked over at Tommy again. He was now wearing a look of relief, and he matched his eyes with hers again just briefly before he began the process of standing up. (Y/N) couldn’t help but giggle at his predicament, waiting for him to be on his feet again before she started walking to the dining room.
For once, Tommy was actually relieved to have heard that dinner was ready.
After dinner the family decided to go out onto the grounds and enjoy one of the final warm, late fall evenings before winter hit.
Juniper, of course, wanted to go to the stables and check on the horses. Tommy happily took her while the older two stayed back with (Y/N). It wasn’t a surprise, however, when he saw the three cresting the hill to join them in the stables.
Later that night, Tommy was - surprisingly - ready to be in bed at the same time as (Y/N). He helped out with tucking the girls in, wanting to spend as much time with them as he could.
(Y/N) didn’t miss the groan that left his lips as he sat down on his side of the bed. “Not as nimble of a horse as you used to be, huh?” she teasingly commented, biting on her finger to stiffle her giggles when his head snapped to look at her. “Maybe they should put you out to pasture.”
Tommy shot her a look that told her she should watch what she was saying. His look made her giggles escape.
“They’ll still treat you as their prized pony,” she conceded, moving over to where he was so that she could drape her arms over his shoulders. “You know how much they enjoy having you play with them,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.
Tommy smiled at the sentiment, nodding his head slightly as he brought his hand up to set it against the spot her wrists crossed each other.
“I don’t believe I’ve asked you…” (Y/N) started after a few moments had passed. She lifted her head from his neck before continuing, “how was your day?”
A breath of a laugh left his lips and he closed his eyes for a moment, silently recounting his day’s events and deciphering what he wanted to tell her. “I came home stressed, but the girls were able to put me into a better mood,” he decided not to go too far into details, settling with a short summary.
“They’ve stolen my job then, hmm?” her question wasn’t the sort of response that he was excepting, and it was one that had him turning his head in confusion, hoping that she’d offer more explanation. “It used to be my job to put you into a better mood,” she remarked, the smile she was wearing telling him that she wasn’t being completely serious about this.
“All of you girls put me in a better mood,” he responded in a matter-of-fact tone before adding, “don’t know what I’d do without you.”
And that was the truth. Without those girls, he probably would have still been in his office, droning over the same stack of papers and nursing his umpteenth whiskey.
Without those girls, he probably would have had to deal with another night of keeping his demons at bay as the shovels hit against the walls.
Without his girls, he would most certainly be a completely different man than the one he is today.
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chosen.
mapi leon x ingrid engen x daughter
isabel is finally adopted
new chapter!!!
as always, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think (good or bad lol) and anything else you want to see :)
~~~~~~
It was something Isabel had been nagging Mapi about for months. Maybe even longer.
Isabel wasn't stupid anymore, she knew that Mapi had not planned to be her mother. There were other people, and half of her was made of who was supposed to be her father, the man that Mapi spoke so highly of despite getting choked up every time he was brought up in conversation.
She knew they had died right before she was born and she knew that Mapi was left with a baby that she hadn't actually asked for.
Isabel knew Mapi stopped playing football until she was older, taking a long chunk out of what would have likely been the peak of her career.
She knew Ingrid came along later, which is why she had grown up calling her Ingrid.
She didn't call her Mami, she didn't call her Mama. She called her Ingrid which just seemed so wrong.
Because Ingrid was her mother, as much as Mapi.
Mapi had given birth to her, she was a single mother for the first two years probably, until her relationship with Ingrid started getting more serious and both Isabel and Mapi became more and more reliant on the brunette Norwegian that they had fallen in love with so quickly.
Isabel looked like Mapi, and she carried a few of her personality traits around with her. Outgoing, funny, chatty.
But Ingrid also raised her, which meant she carried around the Norwegian's calmness, her kindness and her emotional nature.
She was practically a carbon copy of Mapi on the outside, but anyone who knew her on the inside would say she was the perfect blend of both women.
So how come she only called one of them Mami?
Why was it that if she was seriously injured, only Mapi would be called up?
And Isabel wasn't stupid, she knew that Ingrid wished she had been there from the beginning, that her name was written on all of the important documents. She knew that Ingrid wished she was called Mama.
Not Ingrid.
When she was younger, Isabel would call Ingrid Mama when she was tired or sad, if she wanted a hug or if she was just feeling emotional.
It would be in those tender moments and Ingrid's heart would melt every time. It was always in the apartment, hidden away from the rest of the world and just the three of them there together.
But it never really stuck, and Isabel continued to call her by her first name everywhere else. Her teachers would ask about Mami and they'd ask about Ingrid, her friends would get confused because who is Ingrid?
They all just had a Mami and a Papi.
Ingrid always thought that Mami and Mama would make more sense.
So when Mapi knocked on her bedroom door, an official looking document held securely in her hand, Isabel had a very large suspicion that she knew exactly what was in that plastic slip.
Mapi could tell she knew, the way her eyes lit up and she immediately placed her guitar to the side, sitting up as Mapi moved to sit beside her.
"Is it them?"
Mapi smiled, tears in her eyes.
"Yeah, it is."
"Mami!" Isabel practically jumped on her trying to hug her, tears springing from her eyes as well. "Thank you so much!"
Mapi just shrugged.
"She's your Mama and has been for your whole life, this just makes it official."
"We have to plan something so special! Mami, I can't wait to tell her!"
Mapi laughed softly, planting a kiss on Isabel's head and hugging her in close.
"We'll just have to make sure she says yes! She might not want to be officially related to a little rodent like you."
Isabel laughed, whacking her mother's side in mock offence and rolling her eyes.
They both knew that it wasn't true, that Ingrid loved Isabel more than anything else.
"She loves me more than you, Mami, you're just jealous."
Mapi laughed, silently agreeing.
She would never admit that though.
"You wish."
~~~~~~
Isabel spent every minute of the next two weeks planning what would be the perfect surprise for Ingrid, only requesting advice from Mapi a few times.
It was a photo album that she was creating, filled with just pictures of them as Isabel got older, Mapi only featuring at times that Isabel deemed it absolutely necessary.
Birthdays, christmases, family barbecues, trips to Norway. Summer holidays on the beach.
Skating competitions, Isabel stood there proudly with the gold medal hanging round her neck, a giddy smile on her face as Ingrid had picked her up despite her rapidly growing figure.
She had scrolled through all of Mapi's old photos, printing out the good ones and sticking them in the page with stickers and little notes until it was completely full.
She wrote a letter, enlisting Caro to help her perfect her Norwegian, making her swear to secrecy - the contents of the note were strictly confidential.
She came up with a plan, something she knew Ingrid would love. A walk to their park was nothing worth being suspicious of, not even when the 10 year old pulled out Bagheera’s carrier.
It was a family affair, she told Mapi. It would be mean to leave the cat out of it just because she didn’t usually go on their walks.
It was a nice walk and a nice picnic, planned out to the T by Isabel, down to what colour lined the paper plates and how the fruits on the fruit platter would be cut.
Everything she did was for Ingrid and if the Norwegian had asked her, she would have been able to explain every single decision in a way that related back to how much she loved Ingrid.
Perhaps, for that reason, it was best that the papers were forgotten at home, because Ingrid would have been inconsolable if she saw the papers, the photo album and then was explained every single little decision made by her little girl.
Isabel was disappointed, but Mapi reassured her that the Norwegian would not mind, that her reaction wouldn't change whether she was given those papers on the top of the eiffel tower or in a dump in the middle of the city.
So the 10 year old waited until they got home and finished eating dinner, only heading up to her room to collect the file once Mapi and Ingrid were sat on the sofa, waiting for their child to return and choose something to watch.
She couldn't help the nerves that filled up her stomach, the anxieties that began to attack her as soon as the file was in her shaking hand. She almost felt sick as she walked downstairs, spying the back of Ingrid's head, hearing their voices chatting and laughing.
It took one last push of confidence to walk and stand in front of them, the file held tightly in her hands as she anxiously rocked back and forth on her heels.
She took a deep breath, realising that everything she had planned to say was long forgotten, instead just brandishing the file towards Ingrid, who took it with an air of confusion as she glanced between Isabel and Mapi.
"What's this, Is?"
Isabel cowered under her glance, suddenly full of insecurity and self doubt. Would Ingrid even want to be her mother?
She had spent so much time thinking about how much she wanted Ingrid to be her mother, that she sort of ignored the possibility that the Norwegian didn't want that.
And that would completely break the 10 year old.
"Just open it." Mapi smiled reassuringly at Isabel, noticing her nerves, before looking over at Ingrid who had completely frozen as soon as she read the first few words on the top of the first page.
She immediately broke down in tears, her body racking with sobs as she realised what she had just been given.
~~~~~~
"Isabel Leon! We're going and we're going now!" Ingrid was beyond frustrated, the 8 year old not listening to a word she said. Mapi was out of town for the week so they had been left alone together and the child was experiencing a severe case of 'I miss my mum' and it was materialising as disobedience and ignorance of Ingrid.
"No!" She slammed her door closed for effect, throwing herself on her bed and willing herself not to cry.
"Isabel, this is important and I can't leave you here. We have to go, you can sulk in the car."
The Norwegian was stood right outside the door, her hands massaging her head in frustration at the girl.
"No! I'm not coming."
Ingrid huffed, shoving open the bedroom door and picking the ever-growing child up from her bed.
"Ingrid!" She screeched loudly, almost deafening the brunette. "NO! Put me down, Ingrid, NOW!"
Her words dissolved into sobs as Ingrid continued to carry her until they had exited the apartment, the door locked behind them, Isabel left with no way to get back in.
"I want Mami, Ingrid, I miss Mami!"
She shook her head, using her hand to guide the child into the lift.
"Well Mami's gone, so you're stuck with me for now. You're just going to have to make do."
The child lashed out at the words and the contact, flipping around and facing Ingrid as the elevator doors closed.
"There's a reason you're not my Mami!"
Her vision was blurred by her tears so she couldn't see the hurt that flashed over the woman's face. She only realised later that night that what she said was wrong, that she had been horrible to someone she loved so much for no reason.
And Ingrid would never admit the reason that she was in tears as Mapi called her that night, alone and wrapped up in bed.
As she put down the phone, tears still dripping down her face. It wasn’t often that her insecurities returned, but when they did it was like wildfire, quickly spreading and destroying everything good in it’s path.
Because Isabel was right, Ingrid wasn’t her Mami. She wasn’t her Mama either, she was just Ingrid.
She was Isabel’s Mami’s girlfriend.
But if she asked either of the Spaniard’s, they would assure her that she is so much more than that.
It was with desperation that she tried to wipe her tears away as her bedroom door creaked open, Isabel creeping through the door and silently climbing up onto Mapi’s side of the bed, curling herself up in Ingrid’s side.
The Norwegian didn’t realise she was crying until she heard the sniffle, her shoulders shuddering subtly.
“Is.” Ingrid’s voice was a whisper and Isabel turned around to face her, eyes puffy and her cheeks stained with tears. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Ingrid.”
She took a deep, shuddery breath and nestled her head into Ingrid’s chest.
“Please don’t leave me and Mami.”
Ingrid frowned, wrapping her arms tighter around the girl.
“Why would you think I was leaving you and your Mami?”
Isabel shrugged, her voice breaking as she replied.
“I said that you’re not my Mami, but you are. I was naughty and you were angry and I don’t want you to leave me, Ingrid, because I love you.”
The Norwegian’s heart broke but she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and responding.
“I will never leave you and your Mami. Never ever worry about that because I will always be here. And you were just upset today, you missed Mami and you were angry and sad and said stuff to me that you didn’t mean but it’s ok, Is, because you know it was naughty and you’ve apologised. But please, never ever worry about me leaving. I love you way too much to not see you every single day.”
~~~~~~
“Where is Ingrid, Mami?”
She had woken up confused, her head sore and her arm in a cast.
All she could remember was dragging Pina and Patri to the skatepark, showing off her new tricks. They were impressive, for a 9 year old and Mapi worried every day about her little girl flying around the skatepark with little to no concern about her own safety.
When Pina and Patri had offered to babysit, she specifically told them that if they went to the skatepark, Isabel had to wear all the protective equipment that Mapi had purchased.
Which she did, the two women making sure everything was on tight, equally as nervous as Mapi tended to be whenever she had to accompany Isabel to the skatepark.
But whenever Pina or Patri turned their back, she would discreetly shed another protective item, embarrassed and humiliated in front of all the local skaters who wore nothing but their normal clothes and a helmet.
They noticed, of course they did, but Isabel was too quick on her board for them to catch her and put them back on.
“Pequena!” Patri had yelled, her voice stressed and somewhat angry. “Come back here right now and put this all back on!”
It was rare Patri yelled at her, so the harsh words came as a shock to Isabel, who tried to pull off a spin at the top of the bowl so she could turn around.
Except it was a trick she hadn’t quite mastered yet, and instead of landing it on two feet, she plummeted to the base of the bowl with a sickening crunch, immediately bursting into tears.
Pina swore as Patri jumped down to her, scooping her up in her arms and giving her a quick once over.
Her heart sank when she saw the wonky arm. Broken, easily.
Pina grabbed the board and followed quickly, jumping into the drivers seat as Patri carefully slid into the back, nursing Isabel’s arm as the 9 year old sobbed in pain.
“Please, Patri!” She had sobbed, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t tell Mami, she will be so mad at me.”
Patri sighed quietly, knowing that Mapi’s anger would be directed entirely at Pina and herself.
She didn’t tell Isabel that, instead kissing her head and soothing her, whispering quiet Spanish in her ear until her cries weakened and she fell asleep.
The doctors in the hospital had confirmed the broken arm, as well as a very minor concussion that required monitoring for 24 hours.
But she woke up, her mother’s familiar tattooed hand resting on her leg, her eyes full of worry and stress as she stared down at her daughter.
Ingrid, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.
Mapi had been so caught up in her daughter’s injuries that she hadn’t even considered where Ingrid was having not seen her since that very morning.
“I’m so glad you’re ok, my lion cub.”
The discipline about her gear would come later. Even if Patri and Pina had disregarded it, she had told Isabel time and time again about it’s importance. Today, unfortunately, Mapi had been proven right.
She had yelled that to the two younger Spaniards as they waited in the hallway, sending them home with their heads bowed and tears in their eyes.
For some reason, they didn’t tell her that they had been extra careful all day, Isabel only getting hurt after they had told her to come back to replace all her knee pads. Mapi was so angry, which they had understood.
They were just upset because she had told them they would never see the little girl again, mapi couldn’t trust two people so irresponsible.
It was dramatic, of course, but Pina and Patri had never seen Mapi so angry before.
“Where’s Ingrid?”
Mapi sighed quietly, stroking Isabel’s hair back.
“I’ll call Ingrid, she can come in.”
She did just that, easily dialling the Norwegian on her phone, only having to wait through two rings before she picked up.
“Is has been asking for you, Ingrid, do you want to come over to the hospital?”
Mapi hadn’t really known where Ingrid was, but her concern about why her girlfriend wasn’t there was sort of pushed to the side as she worried about her daughter’s wellbeing.
She didn’t expect Ingrid to sound so frustrated, so upset.
“I’ve been here this whole time, Mapi! They won’t let me up because I’m not on her documents. You’re her mother, not me.”
The Spaniard’s heart dropped, immediately filling with guilt.
“I’ll be right there.”
She was practically flying down the stairs, grabbing Ingrid by the arm and pulling her into the lift.
“I’m sorry, Ingrid. I’m so sorry.”
It was hard for the Spaniard to keep her tears at bay, the emotions of her day catching up with her. But Ingrid broke down in her arms, silently crying.
“She’s my kid too, Mapi. She’s my kid too.”
Isabel didn’t know why both Ingrid and Mapi were crying when they entered her room again, but she did finally feel at ease with them both on either side of her, swiftly falling asleep as their hands rested on her smaller form.
~~~~~~
Her first day of school had gone well. Better than well, really, she had loved everything about it.
Her teacher, her friends, the food, her new pencil case and backpack.
Everything had been perfect. It was still perfect as she spied her mother standing by the gate, Baloo’s leash in her hand as the young golden retriever stood steady by her side.
“Mamiii!”
Her backpack was dropped on the floor as she raced towards Mapi, throwing herself into her open arms and sighing contentedly as she was picked up, her head fitting easily on Mapi’s shoulders.
“Oh hello there!”
Mapi smiled, walking over to the abandoned school bag and skillfully bending down to pick it up with one hand, her daughter and the dog’s leash being held securely in the other.
“How was your day, Is?”
Her question caused the girl to burst into excited chatter, eating Mapi’s ear off with her words as she recounted every possible story from the moment she was dropped off the the moment she was reunited, her words so quick that she was all finished by the time they arrived back to the apartment.
“I made a friend, Mami!”
She skipped beside her mother as they walked towards the lift, a grin settled on her face.
Mapi was impressed, but not remotely surprised. It seemed that her daughter had inherited her own chattiness and confidence, but she was also an inherently happy kid who practically radiated sunshine.
Mapi never had to worry about the girl making friends.
So she listened as Isabel told her all about her new friend Sofie, about how she wasn’t even from Spain.
“She’s from the same place as Esmee, Mami!”
Dutch, Mapi thought. She wondered what a Dutch family was doing in Barcelona.
She continued to talk about Sofie’s older brother, her mother and father. Her grandparents and her cousins.
But a small frown settled upon her face, as she looked up at Mapi with an inquisitive gaze.
“I told her that I have a Mami, but no Papi. She asked who else looks after me because her Mami needs her Papi’s help all the time, so I told her I have an Ingrid, but she didn’t really get it. Because Ingrid isn’t a Papi.”
Mapi sighed, unclipping Baloo from his leash and moving to unpack Isabel’s backpack.
“Come up here, Is.” She patted the kitchen bench in front of her and the girl raced over, pulling herself up onto the bench with a practised ease.
“You don’t have a Papi, no. But you have a Mami, don’t you?” Isabel nodded her head eagerly, wriggling slightly in her spot. “And who else do you have?”
“I have an Ingrid!”
Mapi nodded, but gave her a look that prompted her to continue.
“And an Ale, a Frido, Esmee! Pina, Patri. Leila, even though she lives all the way in England.”
“Who else?”
“Abuela and Abuelo! And tio and tia!”
Mapi nodded proudly, placing her hands on Isabel’s shoulders.
“You don’t have a Papi, Is, but you do have so many people here that love you, Ingrid more than anyone. We can’t even remember life without Ingrid, can we?”
Isabel shook her head, frowning.
“I miss her when she’s away.”
“So do I.”
It was true, the house always seemed so much more quiet whenever the Norwegian had to return to Norway, even though she made by far the least noise out of all of them. She was a popular presence and one that made life so much more enjoyable for the two of them.
Of course on the other side, Ingrid missed them equally as much and she was absolutely devastated that her national team duties were pulling her away from Isabel as she started school, one of the biggest days yet in her short life.
But she had missed yet another milestone, just as she was cementing her place as a mother in Isabel’s life.
“But Is, she’s your Mami too. You know this, she’s Mama.”
Isabel nodded.
“I don’t think Sofie knew that it was ok to have no Papi because she looked sad when I told her.”
“Well, tomorrow you can tell Sofie that you’re ok! You don’t need a Papi because you have a Mama instead. Tell Sofie that families always look different but that doesn’t mean we love each other any less.”
She grinned, her head bobbing up and down happily.
“I love you Mami!”
Mapi smiled, reciprocating her words without hesitation.
“Do you want to call Ingrid and tell her the same thing?”
“Let’s call Mama!”
Mapi smiled with pride, scooping Isabel up in her arms and walking them over to the sofa as she dialled Ingrid.
And that is where they sat for the next couple of hours, on the phone to their Ingrid, cuddled up in each others arms.
It was Mapi’s favourite place, only made better when the Norwegian was right there too, her soft skin providing that extra love and warmth that both Spaniards desired so deeply.
Ingrid was family now. Irreplaceable and incomparable.
But if you asked Mapi, she would say that Ingrid had been family from the moment she first held Isabel in her arms.
~~~~~~
Isabel watched as Ingrid broke down, tears streaming down her face and landing with big splats on her legs.
The Norwegian was always going to be emotional, that was expected. Both Spaniards knew how insecure she was about her place in Isabel’s life, her role in this family. The insecurities were thick, stubborn. They never went away, despite how much Isabel and Mapi tried to cut them out, to push them away.
The truth was enough for them to withstand any pushing that the mother daughter duo attempted, the facts were all there.
Mapi was Isabel’s mother, she was the one on the documents, the one who was called if anything happened. She was allowed in Isabel’s hospital room when she got sick and she was the one that Isabel called Mami.
Ingrid knew she was important, she knew she was loved.
But she had always been Ingrid, excluding those few treasured times where Isabel had tiredly reached out for Mama. She found everything out through Mapi, she wasn’t even on the email list for her school.
But these documents changed everything.
For Ingrid, they changed everything.
For Isabel and Mapi they changed nothing at all.
Ingrid’s tears were expected, they were justified. But all she needed to do was look up at Isabel for her to run into her arms, almost toppling her over from her seated position on the sofa with the shear force of her body ramming into Ingrid’s, her arms easily wrapping around her.
The Norwegian reciprocated the hug, her tears saturating the shoulder of Isabel’s shirt.
“Do you want to be my Mama?”
Ingrid’s sobs became more audible as she tried to respond, words failing her as she nodded. The tears continued, Baloo looking up in confusion as the Norwegian cried, as Mapi did nothing to console her, instead watching on with a wet smile, tears dripping down her face.
She was grateful to Ingrid because without her, life would be completely different. Without Ingrid, she would likely be a single mother. She and Isabel would live alone, Bagheera there too but Baloo wouldn’t have been an option if there wasn’t another adult there.
Ingrid was the first time Mapi ever felt true love, the first time she ever felt like she was loved completely and romantically. The Norwegian made her happy, she made Isabel happy too.
She had changed their lives for the better.
Mapi would never be able to thank her enough.
She watched as Ingrid’s cries softened, as she leant back and grabbed Isabel’s shoulders, looking at her straight in the eyes.
“I would love nothing more, Isabel.”
It wasn’t long before Isabel disappeared, racing up to her room to grab her gift. As she left, Mapi easily retook her spot beside the Norwegian, kissing away the tears that still fell from her eyes.
“You didn’t have to do this, Maria. I can’t believe it.”
The brunette just shrugged.
“This is what’s right. You’ve raised her with me, you’re her mother, Ingrid. I didn’t think it was necessary for such a long time but last year at the hospital… it’s important to me that you know it only took me so long because it won’t change anything for me. You have always been her mother, ever since you walked into my life.”
Ingrid nodded, ready to reply before she heard the feet thundering back down the stairs, telling Mapi that they would have this conversation later.
Shyly, Isabel handed over a neatly folded piece of paper and the photo book, sitting down on the other side of Ingrid as they flipped through it.
It was how they spent the rest of the night, snuggled up together on the sofa, lots of tears shed as they flipped through the book of photos.
Isabel fell asleep once they were done, the TV turned on as all three of them were emotionally exhausted, eyes puffy and faces red. Ingrid could only smile, her hand tangling up in Isabel’s head of hair as she slept peacefully on her mother’s lap.
“My daughter. She’s my daughter, Maria.”
~~~~~~
It was a week of happiness in the Engen-Leon household, the Norwegian radiating positivity as she adjusted to her new role in Isabel’s life.
Nothing changed, really, except for Ingrid’s security.
It wasn’t even something you could see from the outside, but Mapi knew her well enough to understand how much happier she was, like she had finally been relieved from a weight that she’d been carrying around for so long. It was a relief for all of them.
The letter that Isabel wrote, however, had been left unread on her bedside table.
It was in Norwegian, that much she knew. Apparently, the 10 year old had called up Caro to ask for some help with the language, making sure it was perfect before she gave it to her mother.
It was a bit more than a week later, her and Mapi laying in bed one evening, Isabel fast asleep in her room down the hall. The Spaniard was scrolling through her phone, her spare hand lazily carding through Ingrid’s thick locks.
The Norwegian was holding that folded piece of paper, staring at it like it held the secrets to the world.
“Just open it.”
Mapi chuckled as soon as she store what her Norwegian was looking at, the familiar lined paper forever etched into her brain after such a big deal had been made about it.
“It’s in Norwegian!” Ingrid smiled, looking over at Mapi. “Caro said I should prepare my tissues, Maria!”
“You would have cried if she said ‘I hate you Ingrid I wish you weren’t my Mama’ if it was written in Norwegian.”
Ingrid rolled her eyes at Mapi chuckled at her own joke, her phone dropping into her lap.
“It won’t say that though. It will probably be heart wrenching because our girl is smart and has a unique way with words.”
Ingrid flopped backwards onto her pillow, sighing dramatically.
“I’m going to be sobbing, Mapi.”
The Spaniard could only shrug.
“Probably.”
It took a few more sighs and a couple more minutes for her to open the letter, unfolding the piece of paper at a painfully slow speed, Mapi just rolling her eyes at Ingrid’s dramatics.
But the brunette’s eyes glazed over as soon as she saw the first line, neat Norwegian printed onto the page.
Dear Mama.
And so the waterworks began.
I haven’t called you Mama my whole life, but I don’t really know why. You’re my Mama, you always have been. When I talk to my friends, I’ll call you Ingrid, but I will always question why, I’ll question why I call you that.
I know that Mami was the one who had me, that she didn’t mean to have me and was only left with me because the people who I was named after, Isabel and Luis, died.
She always tells me not to say that she was left with me because it makes it sound like she didn’t want me, which isn’t true.
But Mami never had the choice, even if she didn’t want me. She was left with me, a baby. I would have been a lot of work. But she loves me and I love her so it worked and I don’t have any memories of being sad.
I don’t have any memories of that time at all, really. No memories of anything that happened before you came.
You had the choice, Mama. You didn’t have to choose to be my Mama. You love Mami and she loves you of course, but she had a baby. You didn’t have to take me into your arms and immediately love me as much as you do.
You could have chosen that you wanted nothing to do with me, you could have chosen to just be Mami’s girlfriend - a step mother who doesn’t really love her step-daughter.
But you didn’t choose that. You chose to love me and I chose to love you.
Somehow, it seems so much more special that way.
You’ve been there for me my whole life. You took me to Norway with you, the first time I left the country without Mami. You would look after me when she was sad, take me to the park and distract me with toys and Baloo. You were the one who convinced Mami to let me on a skateboard and you were the one who realised that I didn’t like football, taking the pressure off me to succeed at the sport you both love.
You have been to every school awards night, concert, play. You are always there and I always spot you because you always have such a big smile on your face, one that I like to think is reserved just for me and Mami.
And I love you so much. You make me so happy and you always have.
I can’t believe how lucky I am that you chose to love me like you do.
Lots of love,
Your daughter Is.
The tears that had been pouring down her face were hitting her legs as she finished reading, Mapi’s arms pulling her close as she carefully folded the paper back up, putting it in the top drawer of her nightstand.
“My daughter Is.” She whispered softly and if Mapi wasn’t right in her space, she wouldn’t have been able to hear.
“Your daughter Is.” She confirmed, using her finger to gently wipe away her tears. “She loves you so much.”
Ingrid could only nod, words once again failing her.
“We both love you so very much. We are both so grateful for you and everything you do to make our lives so much better.”
“I love you too, Maria.”
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed! please let me know what you thought and send in anything you want to see :)
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#mapi leon#ingrid engen#mapi leon x ingrid engen#mapi leon x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#ingrid engen x reader
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No longer a memory [Simon 'Ghost' Riley]
You are reading: [Part 2] Read [Part 1] here! Word Count: 1.4k You viewed Simon as your friend, but clearly he did feel the same.
When Ghost was asked about his emergency contact, he mentioned Soap's name.
"You can't put down another soldier, mate. Gotta be yer ma or summit." His higher-ups informed him.
"Why no'?" He grumbled, leaning against the wall in the dingy office.
"Wot if you're on a mission with 'im? Wot if he's injured too? Hm? Just do me a favour and put down yer missus, will ya."
Ghost rolled his eyes in annoyance, slamming the door shut as he walked out. With an important mission coming soon, it was vital that everything was in order before they left.
He just doesn't get it. Why does a skilled killer like him need an emergency contact? He's only been fatally injured once, and when they contacted his previous emergency number back then, was it really a big deal with someone at the nearest Maccies picked up?
Gaz frequently laughs at him, "Tried to call your mother, ordered a quarter pounder instead." It's a running joke in the team.
Ghost skims through his phone contacts, and he's embarrassed to see how few numbers he has: 5 being his teammates including Gaz, Soap and Price, one being KFC, one being his mother which he had saved under Slag. He scrolls up and down rapidly, debating to himself, should he just give them a fake number?
No...they'd find out again.
He clicks under the spam numbers.
His eyes shift to a familiar number.
It was yours.
The monotonous ticking of the clock paired with the irregular typing of the keyboards were burnt into your brain unknowingly. You've lost count of the number of days you've been in the menial job now, your first job since graduating university. How long have you been with that company, 2 years? 602 days now? You're counting the days 'til the weekend but even during that, you've got no one to come home to.
What a pathetic life.
Sometimes you wonder what Simon was doing in that exact moment was he working like you? Was he also in London? Did he...think of you, the way you think of him? It's possible he's forgotten, I mean after 5 years you've lost contact with the majority of your classmates- so much for best friends for life.
You check your phone, 9:28 P.M. 2 more minutes and you're running out of there.
By the time it hits 11 P.M., you're tucked away in bed a movie playing the background as you're aimlessly listening to reddit stories on TikTok whilst watching a minecraft speedrun.
You switch to using Instagram, by that I mean stalking. Your friends seems to be growth further away from you, one sending you an e-invite to their wedding, one welcoming their 1st child into their families, and yet you're still hung over about the last day of secondary school. The way the last time you had seen him had been in form, when he glances at you walking in late. The way his hands would purposely linger against yours when you were asked to hand out sheets to the class.
The mere thought of him jolted you. That, and the sound of your phone ringing.
It was an unknown number.
There's a hitch in your breathing. Was this a sign? What's the phrase, speak of the devil and he has appear? Was it perhaps...Simon?
You wait for a minute before picking up, not wanting to come across as desperate.
"...Hello?" You murmur.
"Hey." The voice is harsh and cold. It reminded you of Simon.
"Simon?" You whisper, a smile appearing on your face.
There's a pause on the other end of the line.
"What? No- Alan. From Accounting. You left some documents here at work, they seem important. You gonna pick 'em up?"
You blink. Once again your're stuck in another fantasy. In what world would it be Simon? The man who couldn't even reply to your texts in summer holidays. The man who wouldn't even attempt to return a full smile when you locked eyes in the corridor. The man you shouldn't have feelings for. Because, well, it's not like they were ever reciprocated.
What a pathetic life.
Alan, the dickhead from Accounting interrupts yet again. "Yo, you there? Wan' me to bin them?"
You sit up in your bed, sighing deeply uncomfortable, "Pull up your pants man, I'll be there in 30, Jesus. Just leave them on my desk."
Question. What's short but intense, most people dislike it, but you find it thrilling? One would think a conversation with Simon. But the answer is: London traffic.
You'd assume the usually busy roads to be dead and empty at 11:30 P.M. ish, but you're heavily mistaken, my friend. Seems like London nights are the life of the party. Driving past busy clubs and lit up pubs, whilst listening to One Of The Girls by The Weeknd [SUCH A GOOD SONG-] made you feel like a movie star in a coming of age film.
One where the guy gets the girl.
Of course, the majority of the drive you've being beeped at, or you're doing the beeping, but it's what really appealed to you when making the move to the heart of London. Life moves on whether you want or not, might at well be at the capital of England. Though sometimes you feel you're more likely to run into Simon in the north...
By the time you reach the entrance of your workplace, you begin regretting your outfit decisions, making eye contact with yourself in the reflection of the glass doors: A black hoodie and flared joggers. Nothing wrong in the clothing of course, but compared to the Data Analysts and Investment Bankers that are judging you right now, it makes you feel like the smallest person in the room.
Just a elevator ride up, grabbing your shit, another ride down, brisk walking to the car, and you can go back to the comfort of your bed. Easy, no?
You're in the elevator finally. The weird look from the receptionist really was the cherry on the cake.
Soon enough, the doors open again at the 9th floor, and you're met with the dark room of your department, which only had 2 of your colleagues slaving away at their desks, one which you're 99% sure is rotting away as they type on their keyboard.
You briefly nod at the two as they look up from the elevator doors opening, to which they returned.
Where's that file, where's the fucking file. You mumble to yourself, sifting through all the papers from your desk. The rotting lady looks up to you, shushing you for the noise.
Yeah, if only you had the courage to shush your toxic-ass husband...You think. Soon we'll hear your reddit story next to some trashy ass run on Subway Surfers on Tiktok...
The way down the elevator was excruciatingly slow, which was odd considering it was working perfectly fine 5 minutes ago.
The doors open again, at the 8th floor and 3 analysts walk into the once quiet elevator, and now you're face to face with the loud chatter of clients, and business meetings and...who left a mess in the men's toilets...
A phone rings again, and the analysts all search their coats, thinking it was theirs.
Not me.
Neither.
How is there service in this elavator-
Someone coughs, and you open your eyes from drowsiness, the 3 business musketeers silently urging you to pick up your from and rid them off that irritating ring tone.
Silently apologising, you bring your phone out of your hoodie pocket. It's another unknown number.
With no hesitation this time, just pure frustration and fatigue, you pick up the call, "Alan, I swear to God, if you're calling me again-"
Correction. There is service in the elevator. It just wasn't good.
The line breaks at the other person on the phone speaks.
"He- Co- It's an emergen- He- -mon Ril- -jury-"
"Huh?" You respond, partially not hearing as the line breaks every now and then. but also because the other 3 people decided it was okay to talk on full volume.
You try once again, "I'm sorry I can't hear you."
"Missi- crash- 3 dead- -husba"
You snort, you wish these 3 analysts were dead right now-
"-Rile- Come- t- -ocation- sen- -by text- -sband-"
The line goes dead, and you're stuck staring at your phone with more confusion than you had started. Husband?
What was that? Wrong number? No, they had addressed you by your full name. You couldn't hear much, but from what you gathered...an emergency? I mean, that alone you could tell from the shrill from the speaker's voice.
The elevator door opens again and this time, it's the ground floor and all 4 of you walk out. It looks like the scene where the rich, popular characters make a grand entrance, straight out of a K-drama, except one person clearly missed the memo about dressing formally.
You check your phone's call log, debating whether to call them back.
Before you can lock your phone and shove it back into your phone, it dings again, a text from the very number. They've given you a location. A quick search on your phone, shows you google images of an army training ground. You check the time. It's just past midnight.
Looks like you're going on an adventure.
The drive to the army grounds was shorter than Google Maps had said, and now you're parked on the side of the roads waiting for the gates to be opened.
Theories are racing through your head right now, who do you know that's in the military currently?
Your coworkers? No.
Your university friends? No.
Your secondary school classmates? No.
Simon? Can't be.
The gates open, and you drive to the 2 men standing by the doors to the building, one is dressed like a doctor, the other? Like Stalin.
You get out of your car worried, "Hi, someone called over the phone?"
"Aah, yes. Mrs Riley. A pleasure to meet you. I mean I didn't think you were even going to come." He turns to the doctor.
You don't fail to hear the words exchanged between the both of them.
"What if she works at Maccies as well...she's dressed like it-" he murmurs, smiling at you widely.
The doctor on the other hand, seems to be more tense about the situation, "Sir, can we just send her in already, it's 1 A.M., I got a family to go home to-"
"Wasn't your wife cheating on you though-"
"Sir- How do you know- Okay, Miss. Mrs... Riley, was it?" The doctor turns to you.
You raise an eyebrow at him, "No. Um, no. My first name's not Riley, it's-"
"Will you just follow us. Please."
The inside of the building was almost the opposite than the outside, a loud brightly lit environment with crowds of doctors and nurses rushing around, compared to the silent dark grounds.
"Sorry, where are we going exactly?" You question, as the two men walk in front of you.
"You're handling the news better than I expected, Riley." The military leader (?) notes.
What news?
"What news?"
There's no follow up answer, instead they lead you to a quiet corridor, just outside a room, to which they gesture you to open. The doctor reads from a file, "He's going to be fine, just a few cuts and bruises-"
You interrupt, "I'm sorry?"
"What he's trying to say- we found him unconscious, seems like he inhaled too much of the gas. Thought he was in grave danger. Wasn't responding to anything. Broken rib cage, but he'll be fine. He always is, this man."
The doctor agrees with the solider.
"Indeed, a few months of bed rest, and he's be back in better shape."
The two stare at you, as you look at them with an unreadable expression.
"...And...I'm here because?"
They share a confused look.
"You're his wife, no? His emergency contact? That's what Simon said at le-"
"Si-Si-Simon?"
One second you're at home, the next you're a work again, and now you're in the bathroom with your head in your hands, sitting on the toilet lid, panic pulsating through your blood. For some reason, you can't find it in yourself to tell the truth, that you're not Simon's wife, so instead you pussied out and excused yourself to the nearest bathroom.
The good thing is, the 2 men believe you're crying over Simon's injuries, the bad thing is that he's awake. And he's been made aware of the call to his emergency contact: his wife.
"Good to say you mate. Called your wife. Sensitive one, that. Rushed-"
Simon breaks out of his dazed look. "Wife?" He barks.
The doctor shares a knowingly glance to the solider, Simon's higher up. "Yes...the one under your emergency contact?"
"Wot- Oh. Er- Yeah." Simon clenches his jaw, rubbing his temple, "Did she pick up or sum-"
"No Simon, she's here. In the bathroom."
The minimal colour in Simon's pale bruised face drains out in a click, and he's staring dead straight in front of him. For a second, no one talks, there's no movement, not even a breath is exhaled. Simon's not religious but he prays the 2 can't hear his beating heart thumping rapidly.
How was do when he sees you? A smile? A wave? A 'haven't seen you in so long'? No...he selected spouse when he put your number down for his emergency contact, if anything, he's got a role to act in front of the staff and higher-ups.
There's a knock on the door that breaks the silence. The door creaks open awkwardly, and a small head peeps out.
Simon's breath hitches.
When your parents instructed you to get out fairy land, you did. You were called delusion by your friends throughout adolescence, and you're teachers feared your expectations in life were always too high.
You remember the first time your parents told you the story of how they met. In your mind it was a romantic story, two doctors meeting together for the first time in the hospital, locking eyes and blushing furiously when their fingers touched through gloved during a high-risk heart transplant surgery. So when they mentioned that it was mere 'marriage of convenience' type relationship to you, your belief of love at first sight hit the iceberg of reality and sunk. Sunk deep.
So mustering the courage shouldn't be that difficult, right? Love doesn't exist...
The first step into the hospital room felt like walking into every exam hall you've ever entered in your entire life merged into 1...times 10. Nerve-wracking was an understatement.
Your goal was to just lie and act at his wife, play pretend and hope Simon plays along with it. It's all acting.
A marriage of convenience, you could say.
"Hey, Si-"
Your breath breaks, cutting off your own words as your eyes lock with Simon's. The room seems to shrink, and the bustling noise from the hospital corridor fades into the background. Simon's gaze is intense, his usual stoic expression softening for a brief moment. It's something the doctor and the soldier haven't seen, given the 5 years of knowing SImon.
He reaches an arm out, without speaking a word.
"Oh, erm." Taking his hand, he gently drags you, motioning you to sit on the chair beside his bed. Small electric shocks course through his fingertips and into yours, a warm feeling bubbling through your chest, and you can't help but smile at the way his eyes lock onto you, as his fingers gently caress your hand.
Simon’s grip tightens ever so slightly as you sit down, his touch simultaneously reassuring and questioning. You swallow hard, nerves prickling your skin. It feels like a minute has passes by the 2 spectators in the room feel like their watching a slow-burn romance movie.
The soldier clears his throat, breaking the silence. "We’ll give you two some privacy," he says, gesturing for the doctor to follow him out. As the door clicks shut behind them, the heavy silence continues to fall over the room.
Simon’s thumb strokes the back of your hand, a gesture that feels both foreign and familiar. His mask of stoicism cracks, revealing a hint of vulnerability beneath. "I didn’t think you’d come," he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. Your heart rate increases with every word he speaks, the hints of his northern accent peaking through the harshness of his voice.
You smile. "Well, here I am," you reply, attempting to sound casual despite the thundering of your heart. "Guess I couldn't ignore the call of duty." Your attempt of a pathetic joke makes him grin.
Simon interlocks his fingers with yours, and you swear your body changes to manual breathing. "SImon...You don't have to act, they're not here..." You mumble.
Simon chuckles softly, the sound sending shivers down your spine. His eyes, usually so guarded, now seem to search yours for something unspoken. "I'm not acting... and...I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
"What for?" Both of your hands gently hold Simon's and you notice the way just one of his hands dwarf both of yours.
"That day...the last day. I tried to come, I swear, love. I was late-"
"I waited for you Simon." You blankly state. Simon freezes at the slight frustration in your voice, "I waited so long for you, hell, the teachers nearly kicked me out."
Simon nodding understandably, grinning slightly at the thought.
"I know. I asked our form tutor, missed ya by 15 minut-"
"Then why didn't you call me Simon? Hm?"
The lack of response let's you continue, the heat from your hands warming Simon's.
"I called you, I texted, I reached out to your friends-"
"-but it's difficult when I had none, right?" Simon cuts you off, his eyes urging you to look at the situation from his perspective, "The moment I saw you in that classroom on that first day, you were the only person that smiled at me. When I forgot my lunch, it was you that shared with me by your desks. Fuck, it's always been you, and I was too fucking embarrassed with myself to even be around someone as perfect as you."
Simon squeezes your hand as he continues.
"I didn't want you to be seen with me, because...you deserved better, love. You've always had. Good grades, good school, good life, didn't was you to be dragged down by a dick like me." He huffs out, turning away, "Signed up for the military that day, y'know. Remember when you said you wanted to just give up on your dreams of uni and jus' join the army. Just use all your frustrations on a gun or sumthing... I bulked up over that very summer."
You stifle a warm tear as it escapes and runs down your cheek.
"Wanted to be someone for you, swear down. So I signed up for the military...and I- that day. I was going to tell you...and ask you out."
Raising your eyebrows, you feel the atmosphere shifting, he continues.
"Yeah," Simon chuckles, reminiscing, "Wrote a letter cos I didn' know how to get my feelins across. But uh, I was too late. And when I asked your friend, and they told me you were moving out for uni...I just thought it was better to let my feelins die out. Didn't wan to drag you down any further..." He mumbles the last part.
A mix of emotions flood through you as Simon's words settle in the room. The weight of the years apart, the misunderstandings, and the unspoken feelings hang in the air. You take a deep breath, wiping away the tear that escaped earlier.
"Simon," you begin softly, your voice trembling with a blend of sadness and hope. "You never dragged me down. If anything, I felt lost without you."
Simon's gaze shifts back to you, eyes searching for any hint of resentment or anger. Instead, he finds warmth and understanding, a look he's not seen in years. "I thought you'd be better off without me. That you'd move on and find someone who could give you everything I couldn't."
"But I never wanted someone else," you confess, your voice firm despite the quiver in your heart. "I wanted you, Simon. Even when you weren't there, I kept hoping you'd come back. Do you know how many times I've looked at my phone hoping it was you that was calling me?"
Simon laughs, moving ever so slightly closer to you, his thumb continuing to stroke your hand, his touch grounding you both in the present moment. He takes a deep breath, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts.
"I'm here now," he says finally, his voice steady. "And I'll call you ever chance I get. Don't want to waste any more time."
You squeeze his hand in response, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Neither do I."
Simon presses a chaste kiss against your forehead and you lean against him.
"The name Riley really does suit you, y'know." Simon whispering into your hair.
"One step at a time, Si." You whisper back, burying your smirk into the crook of his neck.
Maybe your parents were wrong, maybe love at first sight does exist.
Outside the room, the 2 men straight in awe at the couple. The doctor sighs, "No more trouble in paradis-"
The solider nudges the doctor, "You wish that was you, huh."
me rn
tags -> @lilliumrorum, @kxtz3, @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12, @restrictionsapply-blog, @lunamoonbby, @nigthmar3moon, @thychuvaluswife, @itsnourm, @bubusi11, @chessecakelover, @owkittie, @cheomain, @corvusmorte, @k4es, @mandythemint , @copiasratscheese, @yyiikes, @funkyysho3es, @delta98-idk, @spankmydepression, @yourfavbabigirl
#call of duty#cod#call of duty modern warfare#ghost#ghost angst#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon angst#ghost fluff#simon riley fluff
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FOREVER OURS • FINAL ENDING ( 02'z LINERS )
pairing ⸝⸝⸝ demon!02z x fem!reader wc. 3.7k+
𓄷 warnings... foursome, oral ( m & f receiving ), unprotected sex, breeding kink, rough sex , double penetration, lots of cum, heavy degradation
nia's notes: the final chapter, I hope everyone enjoyed the series ,, and look forward to more stories by luvyeni ❤️🔥!!
jay | lucifer masterlist | jake
I don't care what kind of existence you are, it's important that we value each other …
without the light I fall …
And just like that; your time in your grandmother's home was coming to an end. you didn't think it would be so sad; leaving the mansion, but you've grown to love the house itself— but not just the house; you've grown to love the demons who possessed the home.
Jake; his constant need to be around you was a lot to deal with at first; but now he's the first thing you reach and look for as soon as your eyes flutter open for the day. then sunghoon; which you are surprised about, he was the hardest to get to open up, his cold exterior would intimidate any normal person, but you know how soft he could be, even if he protests— you know it's him leaving the flower from the garden on the table every morning.
then jay— one of the most selfless people you would ever meet in your lifetime; hearing how he'd put himself aside to save his mother and allow the other boys to pass on stuck with you; how he always cooks for you; laying out your clothes for you. or washing your hair in the shower, just doing everything for you.
you didn't want to give this up, you didn't want to give them up— and you didn't have to; you could easily take them with you, but this was a big commitment; a lifetime commitment, literally.
“how would I even fit you all in my apartment?” you'd asked one day. “It's only a two bedroom.” Jake would smile. “well I'd sleep with you obviously.” he then would turn to Jay and sunghoon. “and they can be roommates.” you laughed as the sunghoon had to be held back by jay so he wouldn't strangle the other demon. “I'm kidding, I'm kidding.” he said , his head on your shoulders. “Of course you two could lay with her once a month.” jay would speak up. “I would get us a bigger apartment.”
“and how would you do that?” sunghoon asked. “Because believe it or not, there are demons everywhere, and they'd do anything to impress the son and future leader of hell, that includes giving me anything I want” he said, your eyes widened. “Could you get me a new car?” he smirked. “I could get you 5 cars if that's what you want.” Jake whined. “hey , that's not fair, I could get her a house.” that made sunghoon laugh sarcastically, “you'd have to get a job.”
“I can get a job,” he said. “as what? you went to school 100 years ago.” the boy pouted. “and what would you do? huh, it's not like you have any recent schooling, and with your personality i doubt anyone would hire you.” sunghoon shrugged. “look how beautiful I am, I could easily become a model.” you rolled your eyes. “You're too cocky , it doesn't work like that.” you said. “for a human yes, for me no.” he said. “Well since those two have it figured out, Jake I have a job I could take care of the both of us.” The other demons rolled their eyes; you always doted on him. “of course you would.”
That was good , and you wish it was all good, but you also had to think realistically. “how would you explain this to people?” sunghoon would speak before thinking. “we're your boyfriends duh.” you stoic at him. “Yeah, that's not as common as you think, not everyone has three boyfriends.” you said, Jake spoke up. “not common , but not unheard of.”
“no it's unheard of Jake, I was being nice.”
“and my friends , they'll be a bit confused, moved into a new apartment with three new guys.” You said. “yeji, my best friend would definitely be suspicious.” “well it's not like you can't just tell them.”
“and end up strapped to a chair on medication— you can't wear necklaces in a nuthouse.”
jay would always reassure that the four of you would figure it out if said yes; he would personally handle it all if he had to, he would use every connection he had, if you said yes— all you had to do was say yes. “don't focus on that stuff , if I didn't have a plan already I wouldn't have even said yes to the agreement with my dad.” he said. “he's horrible but he's still my dad , he won't want to see me struggle— my dad is as vain as your grandmother, he wouldn't want his son to look anything but up to standard to the demons in the underworld and on earth, they're probably best friends, sitting in hell.”
knowing that they'd easily integrate into society calmed your anxiety a little, you did want see them struggle— although the ways were a bit vague; still not sure what sunghoon meant and you were almost sure jay was about to nepo baby his way to the top, but you sure they'd figure it out, even jake had a plan, he'd dedicate his time to music; and you of course.
you still had those annoying thoughts looming around you; how do you explain to your parents? your parents were open minded people, but this was hard to explain to them, and keeping a secret this big for what would be the rest of your life seemed almost impossible— then it was that; you never knew where your life was heading; would your relationship with them remain the same?
a week later and you didn't really have much longer; most of your parents' things were here, jay and jake offering to set them up for you; which you graciously accepted— you had to give them an answer, even you said no, they deserved to get one now and not on the last day.
you needed some time to think; so you went into town, telling them you'd only be about an hour. “kai.” The boy sat on a crate, stocking up different cans on the shelves. “oh hey yn.” he looked around. “They aren't here, don't worry.” he sighed. “thank god, they're so intimidating.” he laughed, standing up now. “well sunghoon is, jake is sweet.” you said he nodded. “yeah.”
“I'm leaving soon.” you said. “I'm leaving at the end of the week.” you saw him frown. “really?” he said. “yeah.” you nodded. “I'll visit sometimes, my father is hard to handle sometimes, and my mother has low patience.” you said. “So I'll be seeing you again.” he said and you nodded. “Your boyfriend too?” he asked. “He's not— don't worry about it, a girl as pretty as you.” he said. “I would be surprised if you didn't have a boyfriend.” you remembered what sunghoon said, and you smiled. “I'm sure there will be another pretty girl soon.” you said. “don't be a stranger, even if your boyfriend scares me a bit.” you shook your head. “He's harmless, I swear.” you said. “harmless enough to not rip my head off for asking you to lunch?”
you agreed, he took his lunch and you both went to the small diner, sitting in the booth. “Can I ask you a question?” you said , while waiting for your food. “Go ahead as your new friend. I'm all ears.” he said. “Well , if you had to make a choice , a choice that would affect the rest of your life , but it could help a bunch of uh.” you tried to think. “people?” he chimed in. “yeah sure.” you said. “Would you do it?” he tapped his fingers on the table, thinking.
“Well, do you love these people?” he asked, you sat in thought; did you love them? over the past three months, learning more about them, and what they went through— you could confidently say; yeah, you did feel something for them; you could say you loved each and every one of them. “yeah, I think I do.” you said, and he nodded. “Well then , there's your answer.” He said. “if you love someone, you'd do anything for them.” he said , really putting things into perspective for you. “thank you kai.” you smiled, a weight finally being lifted off your shoulders— the sweet waitress coming over to the table to give your food. “here you go.”
“She's cute.” Kai's neck turned red, looking down at the check. “what?” he showed you. “she gave me her number.” sunghoon was right; you would make sure he'd never hear you say any of that.
you left kai feeling much better, a skip in your step as you make your way back into the house. “is there really a reason for you to be that happy?” sunghoon walked into the room. “yes actually.” you kissed his cheek , walking away humming. “I told you to stop doing that.” he yelled , but you knew he was blushing— following behind you into the kitchen. “where'd you go?” Jake wrapped his arms around you once he became aware of your presence; you definitely couldn't give this up. “I went to see kai.” jay entered the room. “kai?”
“some kid that likes her.” sunghoon said bitterly, jake squeezed you. “he even came here, I'm sure you remember seeing the aftermath after his visit, since you're a perv who likes to look through mirrors.” jay glared at the boy. “yah, I'm still years older than you.” the younger shrugged. “you're thousands of years older than us.” you saw Jay's jaw clench. “i'm not that old.” you laughed, Jake snuggling against your cheek. “Why'd you go see him?” he whined, like the true puppy he is. “well because I wanted to let him know I was leaving soon.”
you seen them all frown, deciding to not keep it from them any longer. “because someone decided to scare the hell out of him last time, you know when you come with me you can't be this jealous.” he rolled his eyes, but you felt Jake stiffen up; he was the only one to catch on. “when?” he said, they all stopped. “you said when, not if like you always do.” you smiled.
“you made a decision?” Jay said, you nodded. “and you're sure , I don't want you to feel like you're being pressured?” he said, grabbing his hands; you reassured him. “I don't feel pressured, I promise.” you said. “I had a talk with kai, and he said if you love someone, you'd do anything for them.” you confessed, Jake hugging you excitedly. “I knew it, I told y'all she loved us, you all doubted me, I told y'all.”
“how about getting off of her for two seconds.” sunghoon said. “Why are you finally gonna give me a hug?” he grimaced. “no.” he said, and you pouted. “don't give me that face,” he said. “if you don't want to do this, don't do it.” he said seriously. “but I want to.” you stared him down. “I want to annoy you for the rest of both of our lives.” he rolled his eyes. “just hug her already, you know you want to.” Jake said. “no I don't.” you rolled your eyes. “hug me sunghoon.”
the demon's arms opened up, and he pulled you into a hug. “Keep taking advantage of me like this baby, it will never end well.” you smiled teasingly. “please you love it.”
After giving your final answer, the air immediately felt lighter around the four of you— even sunghoon seemed happier; though his face tried not to show it. jay made you your favorite dinner, while you told them about your everyday life; and all your friends , and what you did for a living, just about everything they'd have to get used to; now that they'd be staying with you. “you know princess, you surely do have a lot of guy friends.” jay said, taking away the empty plate. “I guess so.” you shrugged , unaware of their jealous looks in all of their eyes.
“you know that's gonna have to stop right?” you might've not caught the look , but you sure heard the deepening of his voice; and it made your insides warm. “wh-why?” you stuttered , hearing him walk over to you. “well princess.” you felt his hands on your shoulder; bringing his mouth to your ear. “That's cause you're ours.” you shuddered upon feeling his lips on your neck. “and I already have to share you with them , I won't share you with any other guy.” you almost let out a noise when sunghoon scoffed. “look at that , she likes that,” he said, turning to you. “you like being our own personal little slut.”
you bit your lip , jake smiled at you. “she likes it.” the atmosphere had totally shifted , their eyes blown with lust , ready to pounce on you right there on you in the kitchen. “how about we take this back to your room love?” you nodded and jay helped you up , guiding you back to your room.
your brain was already feeling fuzzy as you sat in ber Jake's legs , his plump lips on your neck; the demon's hand coming up to your boob , squeezing them through your shirt. “j-jake.” you moaned , he smiled against your cheek. “you like that?” he chuckled. “I bet you're wet as fuck down there.” jay got in between your legs. “let's find out.” he unbuttoned your shorts , pulling them down , throwing them on the floor. “open your legs baby.” you spread your legs open. “fuck you're right.” he groaned. “she's fucking soaked.”
“of course she is.” sunghoon said , you moaned as jay kissed your thighs , pulling your panties to the side , licking a stripe up your slick cunt. “fuck.” you moaned. “feels good?” said , biting down on your neck , lifting your shirt , pinching your nipples. “oh my god.” you gasped , sunghoon finally getting tired of watching , his cock hard against his slacks. “be a good slut for me.” sunghoon undid his slacks. “open that mouth.”
he stuffed his fingers in your mouth , letting the drool coat his digits. “nasty slut.” he pushed down on your tongue, you gagged , the demon smirked. “there were go slut , open up your mouth I'm gonna fuck your face.” he pulled his cock out stroking it , pressing his mushroom head against your lips. “that's it.” he groaned, pushing himself inside your cavern. “suck my cock.”
you moaned around his cock , moving your head up and down his shaft as jake tweek and toyed with your nipples , kay hungrily lapping at your cunt , hold your legs open. “You're gonna cum?” he pulled away , lips coated in your wetness. “yeah?” he brought his fingers to your clit , rubbing harsh circles , pushing two of his fingers in , all you could do was moan , sunghoons head was thrown back. “fuck.” he grabbed the back of your head , pushing it all the way down. “fuck I'm gonna cum down your fucking throat.” the demon grunted. “fuck, fucking take it!” he shouted , his thick load; shooting to the back of your throat. “shit.”
he pulled out just in time; the band in your stomach breaking , as jay continued his assault on your cunt. “jay.” you moaned. “jay I'm cumming!” you screamed out , cumming all over his finger , your hips moving as you rode out your orgasm , poor jake having to watch all this go down , and having to endure you grinding against his hard on. “fuck if I don't get inside her I'm gonna blow my fucking load.”
within a second you're in a different position, sunghoon laying under. “be a good fucking slut and take both of us.” he slapped your ass as you straddled his waist. “Come on, sit on it.” he guided you down to his cock , your eyes closed , legs shaking as you took him. “fuck sunghoon.” you cursed. “fuck you're so fucking tight.” he grunted. “hurry the fuck up Jake , before I take this slut right now.”
jake sloted himself behind you, the demon ready to cum as he freed himself from his slacks. “shit.” he gasped , stroking himself. “Are you ready baby?” you shakenly nodded. “ye-yes.” your nails sunk deep into the demon below you as the one behind you pushed himself into , stretching you out , your mouth hanging open. “fuck baby you took both of us.” he cursed , his cock feeling suffocated they both began to move in and out of you , talking turns filling you up.
you were so far gone , the only thing on your mind was their cocks. “look at the slut so far gone.” sunghoon groaned. “She's set for life , three cocks ready to satisfy her every need.” you moaned as he yanked your hair. “That's all she needs right?” you dumbly nodded , the need to cum coming right around the corner. “I'm gonna cum.” you whimpered, clamping down on them , making both the beings inside her groan in pleasure.
your legs shook as you came , jake was the first one to cum; pulling out just in time as he came; cumming all over your back and ass. “shit.” he sighed , falling back on his hands. “fuck that I'm gonna cum inside you.” sunghoon growled. “you want that? for me to fill your cunt up.” he moaned. “please.” he fucked up into you. “sh-shit , take my cum.” you felt him filling you up , his cock twitching inside you. “fuck.”
jay laid you back down , kissing you sweetly. “Think you can give me one more?” he said , his cock already out , his tip leaking with precum , as he dragged it along your folds. “You can give me one more right princess?” he tapped his cock on your slick , you nodded. “pl- please.” You moaned out feeling his cock intrude your hole. “fuuuuck , you're so warm.” he grunted. “so tight , even after they stretched you out.”
he moved his hips , his fat cock dragging along your sensitive walls. “look at you , such a good , taking all three of us.” he moaned. “so perfect -fuck- me-meant to be ours.” you clawed at the sheets. “ja-jay please fuck me.” you moaned , he moved his hips a certain way , hitting the spot that made you see white. “you're gonna cum princess.” he felt his cock twitch , signaling he was about to cum. “thats it , cum all over my cock princess.”
you let out a scream like moan , cumming all over him , tightening around him. “fuck , princess you almost pushed me out , before i could cum inside your little pussy.” he groaned. “fuck I'm cumming.” his hips stuttered as his cum spurted inside you, ropes of his cum flooding your insides. “fuck.”
your spent body laid against the bed as they all began to help you clean up; even sunghoon , running your bath water. “you did so good for us.” jake kissed you. “so good.” he pulled you into a deep kiss, his hands coming up to yours to pin you back down. “that's enough.” jay came out of your bathroom. “jake get off of her , she's probably exhausted.” jake smiled cheekily down at you , sunghoon pushing the boy over. “control yourself , just cause you haven't gotten any in 100 years doesn't mean anything.” he scoffed. “you're tired aren't you?” jay said. “let's get you showered and into bed.” he said.
The day has finally come , having all your stuff packed , the necklace still around your neck; as you watch them put your stuff into the trunk of the car. “this car is so old.” sunghoon complained. “you do realize I was a college student before this.” jay kissed your temples. “We'll get you a new one.” you turned to him sternly. “we're gonna have to eventually talk about where you plan on getting this money, there will be no demon loan sharks knocking on my door.”
jake; after much fighting, climbed into the passenger's seat of your car; you left the keys in the mailbox for your parents who would be arriving later that day. “Are you guys ready?” you got into the driver's seat, jakes hand immediately finding your thigh— you could feel how happy they were, it warmed your heart, knowing you can help them, but also spend the rest of your life , surrounded by the new people you've grown to love dearly; you knew it would take some time to get used to, and maybe you could eventually explain to the other people you love, but for now you'd have to make this work.
TAGLIST. @deobitful @in-somnias-world @darlingz99 @luvitaria @lost-fantasy @lostinneocity @nalenhypen @heeshlove @kirinaa08 @strxwbloody @ryn000 @neosexuals @sakanelli-afc @yizhoutv @capri-cuntz @lilyuwon @criminalseung @hanhaeji @eggomi @serenijiny @luvvsnae @jakesfurry
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#kpop x reader#kpop smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen smut#enhypen x female reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#jay park smut#jay scenarios#jay x reader#jay park x reader#jake sim smut#jake sim fanfic#jake sim x reader#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon x reader
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"Why There Will Never Be a Peeb Adventures" otherwise known as "The Peeb Adventures Pre-Mortem"
Since 2020, I've made a good chunk of games. Hell, even though I've been doing this for 10 years to date, the majority of my progress as a creative began over the course of this 4 year period.
Out of all the games I've made - or otherwise had a hand in - there is only one that's apparently struck a chord so deeply with people that to this day I still get messages and comments asking when it will come out.
The title of this post already explains the whole deal so I'm not gonna be dramatic about it right here. As per usual, I will instead get heart-clutchingly dramatic about the subject by the end of this story.
I felt the idea of a "Pre-Mortem" might be a fun way to talk about games that will never be finished. Maybe I'll make more of these down the line for other old games, who knows.
"The Incredibly True Origins of Peeb Adventures" or "Wow! I Hate It!"
Peeb Adventures began as a gift game for my long-time friend Aaron. It was simple, mostly functioning as a fun little gag that stemmed from a 3D model I made of a character he doodled during a drawpile session. I gave Peeb a grapple hook just because I wanted to experiment with swinging mechanics and felt the gag gift was a great space to toy around in without having to actually ask myself how on earth I'd want to structure a game around a grappling hook. Foreshadowing!
Eventually, the gag gift did that classic thing all developers have experienced before where your game spirals out of control and grows into a hideous monster, and what started as a fairly abstract grappling toy convergently evolved into that dreaded state we call a "3D Mascot Platformer."
I made a very short demo in the summer of 2020. It went absolutely nowhere, and after an idol of mine caught wind and asked to play it (before sending about 3 paragraphs of feedback suggesting how to improve what was, in my view, a trainwreck of baby blocks stacked on top of eachother), I shelved the project.
"The Absolutely Tremendulous HPS1 Adventure of Peeb" or "My Friend Jam Suggested I Revive the Project and So I Did"
Shortly after Peeb was shelved for the first time, I joined a community of game developers called Haunted PS1. For those not in the know, HPS1 was essentially the nexus point for "retro horror games" in the indie sphere, and a lot of the resulting deluge (non-perjorative) on itch.io can find its roots in this community.
HPS1 was a good place. Lots of nice, talented people willing to tolerate the kind of mindless riffing I often do in voice calls, anyway. I made a decent chunk of friends there, some of which I'm still quite close to, even today.
HPS1 has this tradition called the HPS1 Demo Disc that began in 2020, and with the year coming to its end, there was talk of a new one set to arrive in spring 2021.
Unlike the first demodisc, however, 2021's disc required you to submit a game in-progress to a panel of judges. They'd then give their yay-or-nay, and you were either in or out.
One day, I was musing over the fact that I didn't really have anything to submit so I would likely have to sit out of 2021's disc. My friend, Jam, who you might know as the developer of the Heilwald Loophole (or Beton Brutal) suggested I consider reviving Peeb Adventures as my submission to the demo disc.
Why did I follow through on this? I don't know. It's funny to think a scenario this simple was the launch point for my career.
Over the next 6 months, I worked on turning the absolutely horrendous gag game into... Something still kinda trite but at least playable. I had some help from my longtime teammate drurylain, my longtime friend Aaron (the creator of Peeb's original design), and my longtime spiritual uncle Tim, and with our powers combined... A new kind of demo experience where you don't do anything of particular note besides swinging around was born.
Also quite important: the very same drawpile session that spawned Peeb also spawned Orbo, who would also make his own appearance in Peeb Adventures as a recurring side character (since I felt like Peeb needed a friend).
"Go! Incredible Friendship Unites in the Gameosphere! Peeb and Orbo are Born!" or "Peeb Adventures: Coming Never"
So the demo for Peeb Adventures was finished early March 2021, and the demo disc went live on itch.io on the 25th of the month.
The demo disc then proceeded to do a backflip and pick up a LOT of traction online. Which then meant Peeb itself was catching little bits of the traction in its mouth and smacking its lips.
I went from "guy who makes games for nobody" to "guy who makes games for that one very specific brand of teen on twitter who loves the object head show", and I was riding high.
Fanart poured in. People showed a lot of love. I was dazzled by it all, really.
Despite the love for the game and the potential on hand, progress was stagnant. My group of friends and I all got together in a google doc and wrote an entire planning bible for the game. Game mechanics, story beats, twists and turns, the whole thing. Despite having the structure lined up, I had other ambitions and began working on a multiplayer deathmatch game that quickly overtook my work schedule.
Peeb sat on the backburner, but at the time I still wanted to finish it one day. My main excuse was "well, I just need more money! If I'm going to work on this game it's gonna need more than one fulltime person and I can't just ask people to work for free!" That excuse worked on me for a while.
"I Don't Think I Want to Play With You Anymore Peeb!" or "There's Such a Thing as Too Much Love"
A while had passed at this point. My ambitions hadn't just grown, they'd completely shifted. Before long, I found myself working on yet another demo for the 2022 HPS1 Demo Disc, "The Spectral Mall."
Nowhere, MI wasn't just some random toy for me, but the culmination of all my love into one game. Despite its silly demeanor, the game was a product of a lot of pain, and even now I still desperately want to finish it. Except I have to make money to live, so... Oops!
Anyhow, there was a shift in demeanor for me during 2022. You have Peeb, a game that I made on a whim as kind of a joke with friends, and you have Nowhere, MI, a game that meant the world to me during really dark times.
And you know what? There were a lot of people that wanted Peeb. People that never stopped asking me about it.
I realized while working on Nowhere that I didn't really know what I would even do if I ever had the chance to work on the full Peeb Adventures. Not only did I find the nagging kind of annoying, Peeb was also something I couldn't really... Wrap my head around?
It occurred to me that Peeb wasn't really "my" game anymore, it was "his" game. The old Johnny.
I'd changed a lot since the game had come out in early 2021. In a year and a half my world got flipped upside down, and... I don't know, Nowhere was way more reflective of who I was now. Sure the humor was still pretty asinine, but there was a shift. It was hard to picture the "Peeb Adventures" people were actually looking forward to when my own sensibilities had drifted so far.
When the Nowhere demo came out along with Spectral Mall, it did... Alright? People liked it, but it wasn't the same as Peeb's release. Hell, even in Nowhere's release there were people pushing it aside to ask the same question they'd been asking every week leading up to it. "When is Peeb Adventures coming out?"
"Goodbye Peeb!"
It was increasingly harder and harder to not look back at Peeb and kind of hate it. It was rough in every respect, and yet it whenever I met people who'd heard of me online, they always cited Peeb Adventures.
Strangers continue to ask me when it's coming out. On rare occasion I'll get someone asking about Nowhere and I'll feel a bit excited anyone else cares about that game besides me and maybe my friends, but most of the time people just ask about Peeb.
To finally answer this question I've been asked for nearly 4 years: There will probably never be a Peeb Adventures.
"Goodbye Johnny."
I like to believe one of the reasons people are attracted to my body of work is because I make games to reach out to other people. That's probably not the real reason, but it's nice to play pretend and imagine your work has more significance than just "ha ha boner."
I put a lot of myself in my games and I rarely hold back, even if an idea is insanely stupid or strange. The result usually becomes something more like a scrapbook than a game.
It's hard to try and expand on a game like Peeb when the Johnny who made it isn't really with us anymore. If I worked on Peeb now, you'd get some kind of irregular frankenstein that'd never be as exciting as the original vision was.
By the time I get around to Nowhere again, am I still going to be this Johnny? Or will the next Johnny look back at Nowhere the same way I look at Peeb now? Who knows.
Anyway, look forward to more games from me and my friends. Even if it's not Peeb Adventures, it'll still be us.
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I genuinely think any ship within the og Team 7 students would make sense. There're 0 reasons to fight about it, they're all just as justified.
Naruto was obsessed for yeeeeeaaaars with his teammates. He looked at them like they hung the moon and the stars in the sky for him. Sasuke and Sakura were the only boy and girl on Earth, lol.
Sasuke and Sakura were used to being cruel to put some distance between them and the world. Defense mechanism or not, Naruto was maybe the only person in the entire world that would never eat that up. He knew feeling lonely, he knew being hurt, he knew to feel useless... Fuck that, for him, there would never be as someone as awesome as his teammates.
His most important promise in life was to save Sasuke, for both his, Sakura's and his own sake.
In return, Sasuke and Sakura would never shut up about him either. His their saviour, their hero, their sun and the boy fills their lives with joy.
That's why any ship with him works!
For Sakura, it's that there was textual romantic tension with both of them for the entire series. Their chemistry and backstory were intentionally written. That Kishimoto decided on the canon ships in the end, okay, but any of them could have worked. If you can't feel the love between them, blame the writing and not the characters, 'cause it was clear that Kishimoto wanted people to think of them as a love triangle for some time.
Since the genin days, she was their it girl. No one touches Sakura, no one hurts Sakura, blah blah blah. In exchange, even when she wasn't strong enough, she'd use herself as a shield for them. It makes no sense, but she'd jump between any attack and them at any moment. She would run to them when they have lost their mind, not even scared of them as much as she was scared for them.
She defended both of them when other people criticized them. She also lost faith and tried to manipulate them or kill them at some point out of pure desperation of keeping one of them alive. She was the one left behind time and time again, they are her whole reason to be who she is and to be a medic nin. All she ever wanted was to walk alongside them, not behind them.
Again, it works.
With Sasuke is so easy.
Naruto and Sakura were obsessed with him to the point of following him to the literal almost end of the world. The definition of hatred being actually love, because they'd be at each other's throats about it. Their goal in life? Sasuke. The person they cried about at night? Sasuke. What would they wish upon a star? For Sasuke to come back.
And Sasuke couldn't stop thinking about them. In his mind, they were always there. They'd follow him, almost haunt him. They were annoying and rude and ignorant, they were stupid, weak even, he loved them so much that he convinced himself he needed to kill them, cut their bonds.
They harbor endless love for him and with time, he came to understand that's just how they were and accept it.
The loyal 12 years old that would rather take the attacks himself than let his teammates be in any type of danger, did a full cycle and came to be the devoted man that vowed to atone for his mistakes and return to them one day.
If they gave themselves freely to him and almost without a reason, Sasuke gave himself back with all the reasons in the world.
Do I even have to explain why narusasusaku works too or—????
Anyway.
I could never fight over what's the better ship when I know they are all insane about each other.
#narusaku#sasusaku#sasunaru#not a serious thing tbh I just wanted to put somewhere my opinion about these ships#naruto#naruto uzumaki#sakura haruno#sasuke uchiha#og team 7#team 7#naruto shippuden#naruto classic#narusasusaku
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To everyone who asked, and to everyone who didn't:
Yes. I have somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 of TwoSet's videos, all in HD quality. LINK BELOW
Earlier this year in 2024, I downloaded every single TwoSet Violin public video from their YouTube and scoured other sites like Bilibili and Facebook to get videos they'd deleted from at least one platform. My goal was to make some fandom compilation videos that'd require going through every video.
I do not have the last few months of 2024 (which I'm kicking myself for... I literally almost did a download update on SUNDAY). But I have almost everything.
2 mil, 3 mil, 4 mil, Fantasia, Hilary Hahn or Ray Chen collabs, Producer Shaun, professional versus beginner, violin charades, that cheeky skit you shared on Facebook in 2016
Their world tour VODs, including my own personal captures of their latest VOD stream
Some of the content from their Facebook kickstarter livestreams that I found from other fans.
I've been collecting all their TikTok videos currently, too. I've downloaded a spattering of their Instagram stories from 2024 and might have a small collection of recent Instagram videos, too.
I do not have everything, but I have a fuckton and I want to share it with as many people as possible, and collaborate with as many people as possible to fill in the missing pieces.
Please contact me if you have your own archives or know people working on other archives. I'm talking with a few people about starting a Google Drive project, but I don't know the big names in the TSV fandom and thus could be missing out on people who've done a lot of other work
It's more likely that this will clear over in the coming days / weeks / month / whatever and we'll have their official channel again. I'm still going to keep believing that. But it doesn't erase the importance of making sure the media we love doesn't become lost media. I have respect for content creators to monitor what does and doesn't stay on their platform, but for the sake of preservation of media, for the sake of helping a community, I want to make sure this archive is in place and widely accessible to TwoSetters.
My current cloud server is VERY MUCH a work in progress. I am in the middle of an extremely busy week and trying to do this around an office job and a half. It will take me time to upload everything, and even more time to organize everything. But the cloud server link is active, and I will keep people updated about the progress of my archiving through a PDF text file (not yet uploaded) in said cloud. If I collaborate with people for Google Drive systems, if I do other backups, I will let people know there and on my other social media accounts.
I am new and naive to Terabox. I started with Terabox because it's free to upload up to a terabyte of content. I think it should be free to download everything in full quality, but I don't know. People should inform me how it works. It's currently -- I'm sorry -- VERY poorly organized and requires Scrolling (TM), but short of that issue (which will be fixed with organization), I hope it gets people what they need.
Also: Reddit has suspended me for a few days lol (really I'm getting a slap on the wrist for how blatantly I was marching about), so if people want to start spreading this link to others in private chats elsewhere with known TwoSetters, the more the merrier! The purpose of this is to be a resource, either short-term or long-term.
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Why I think Shiguang can be canonically read as romantic
(I will only be using the donghua for reference, so no Studio Lan retweeting those fanarts (lmao) nor those especially gay manhwa panels (lmao x2) nor even the songs ("chase you to the end of the world, just to say your name once more" my beloved).
It's important to start off by saying that I'm aware Director Li said they ended up not making Lu Guang a girl because they didn't want romance to be seen as a must in Shiguang's relationship by the audience (and because he feels that "bros can have a good heart-to-heart connection with each other"). In my opinion that was a great move since it allows more freedom with how they write them than they'd have otherwise. I also think viewing Shiguang as queerplatonic is a great read too and it doesn't diminish their love for each other nor the importance of their relationship at all.
With that said, despite Director Li's words, there's been things that had me going 🤨 as someone who likes to adhere to canon relationships and read into the writer's intentions, so I wanted to share why I personally see them as romantic.
EPISODE 2
We've all seen this coming, right? Most obvious parallel ever, and in the second episode no less. We all know the similarities between both relationships, so I will just touch on those I consider the most important ones.
Lin Zhen and Yu Xia have gone to college together, and since then decided to start a business of their own - named after a mix of their names. They've been shown as being really close and having no romantic relationships. Lin Zhen also says that Yu Xia's happiness is her own, and then it's shown to us that she's gone through years of unhappiness just for Yu Xia. I believe you can replace their names with Lu Guang's and Cheng Xiaoshi's in your head without me writing all this again. And I'm not even going to get into the most obvious parallels like the special noodle recipe for each pair.
I think it's safe to say that Lin Zhen and Yu Xia are implied to be romantic. From that "one noodle" scene, to the close shot of Lin Zhen grabbing her hand, etc.
Now, I want to get into a writer's point of view and pose two questions:
1. What's the purpose of this episode, when even those which seem episodic connect to the overarching plot of season 1 (even the missing kid's case, as it leads to the involvement with the police)?
2. If we answer the previous question with the conclusion that it's meant to show us the nature/development of Cheng Xiaoshi's and Lu Guang's relationship, what does that say about it?
"Partner" in Link Click
Continuing with episode 2, what really got me thinking about the romantic intentions in their writing was the constant mention of marriage and anything in relation to it.
(may I remind everyone that the driver's comment was said when Cheng Xiaoshi was complaining about Lu Guang lmao)
They're telling us through "show don't tell" (for example, when Lin Zhen kept on eating the noodle despite knowing they'd kiss) and, also, connotations. They are presented to us as business partners, but then the entire episode goes on to tell us that there's more to them by tying their relationship to things percived as romantic. So what they want to really tell us is that beyond simple business partners, they're life-long partners.
And then, after establishing this kind of connotation to the word partner, Cheng Xiaoshi says this to Lu Guang in the next episode:
This doesn't stop at them. While it's the most obvious example, I think partnership in Link Click is intended to be seen as romantic, or at the very least dancing somewhere close to it. Let's go even further and take a look at our fully canon, heterosexual relationships and see briefly how their story is written:
1. Dong Yi and Xu Shanshan: both of them chose the comfort of each other's presence over moving on with their respective futures. Dong Yi had so much faith in their relationship and their love that he couldn't choose a life/future that didn't have Xu Shanshan - choosing to not go back to his family home nor go to that interview, and instead waiting for Xu Shanshan to define their relationship.
2. Liu Siwen and Ouyang: Siwen spent his entire life training with the purpose of getting his father-in-law's respect and marry Ouyang, going every year over and over to fight him. His perseverance and his undying love for her allowed Siwen to do the (seemingly) impossible.
3. Chen Bin and his wife: they're a tragedy. His wife understood Chen Bin the best, enduring feeling lonely because she loved him and wanted a future with him. But their relationship was cut short, so they promised each other to be together in a future life to make up for the time they wouldn't be in this one.
With this + the pictures I attached, it seems like Link Click has set this theme of "love is a life with you" for its romantic relationships, a partner that will fight to stay because they can't see a future that doesn't have their beloved. Going back to episode two, this applies even to the noodle ladies. When Yu Xia remembered what actually matters to her, she went back home - to the start, to her hometown. And, most importantly, to Lin Zhen.
So why is Shiguang romantic? Why aren't they queerplatonic, or just best friends, or bros or whatever else? Because besides what I said at the start of the previous paragraph, Shiguang's relationship mirrors a lot of the romantic ones. Each story and author writes romance and other kinds of relationships differently, portraying them in the way they perceive "this is what this kind of love is like". And beyond life-long partners, I think that the key elements of romantic relationships in Link Click are the ones I highlighted in bold above in the 3 canon relationships part - which Shiguang shares, too.
(I didn't mention this before with the het couples, but I find it a little amusing that season 2 happened because a man wanted to go to the past and get his wife back (still fuck you Qian Jin) and then we find out Lu Guang did go back to the past and got his boyfriend partner back lmao).
"Friend" vs "Partner"
So where is the boundary between platonic and romantic? What marks the difference between a (best) friend and a partner?
There is, for example, Liu Xiao and Li Tianchen's relationship. They aren't shown to have any kind of romantic undertones and there's even the very real possibility of manipulation on Liu Xiao's side. They're also never labeled as nor call each other partners, but instead Li Tianchen says he "met a new friend" and Liu Xiao says he's "going to meet an old friend" years later. So we could say for now that they have a somewhat close relationship (we see Li Tianchen go against Qian Jin to give the phone to Liu Xiao), but never cross that "friend" label.
We can even bring Qiao Ling and the boys' relationship. She's never labeled as a partner despite taking part in the side job and, more importantly, being super close to both of them. She is very important and a cherished friend to Shiguang, so why not call her partner too? I think it's intentional. Since she's been given a familial role already (calling Cheng Xiaoshi her brother when talking to Li Tianxi), she can't fill a partner role. I wonder why? because it's supposed to be a synonym for a romantic relationship. who said that.
So even best friends (Qiao Ling, arguably what Liu Xiao is to Li Tianchen) don't enter this close space that is being a partner. It's different, it's beyond platonic. Or at least that's what they've been showing us for the past two seasons.
I could go soo much more into this honestly, because I do think the little hints thrown here (the music videos) and there (tiny seemingly inconsequential details) are worth to be looked at too, but I wanted to get into the core reason that makes me go "woah so they're In Love fr". I hope I expressed myself well ^^
tldr; the series shows us a divide between having a (best) friend and a partner, giving "partners" romantic connotations.
#again!! all this is why i personally think they lean more on romantic than platonic#i think seeing shiguang as queerplatonic is a valid read too#they just write love (in general) very beautifully in this show so i wanted to put my two cents#also while writing this i realized i could yap more about s1ep2 beyond the romance stuff. i love it a lot#also!! i'm aware the word partner in general has romantic connotations sdfjhgk but link click makes it so that it's Just. romantic ykwim#ALSO sorry to yap here but sorry if anything i said has alreaady been said before 😓 i've been a bit out of the fandom#anyways. shiguang <3#link click#shiguang
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