#how he's selfless bc he genuinely wants to help others

[saltedbutter0]

you can pry unhealthily validation-obsessed will from my cold dead hands

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

[transmasccofee]

ok actually a really interesting Torisai moment paralleling them was the Satou and Suzumiya arc, bc Saiki had a crush on Satou and Tori had a crush on Suzumiya and their reactions were basically the opposite. Saiki, despite himself, immediately went to trying to get Satou and Suzumiya together bc he realized that Satous powers could help null Suzumiyas deadly bad luck. Tori on the other hand was really desperate to end up with Suzumiya, and its this whole conflict of Saiki saying he can’t help her if its just to date her (which Tori interprets as he is forbidden from dating her at all) so he’s reluctant, but by the end he has a change of heart and decides to help her no strings attached, and only then is Saiki like “i never said you were forbidden from dating her, but you’ll probably fail anyways” and Satou and Suzumiya walk into the sunset together

and like thats where that arc ends idk I just. I think it’s interesting. Its a cool look at how their characters engage with the world. How Saiki is very willing to give up something he genuinely wants for the good of others without even really thinking about it, and how Tori is the opposite (selfish but does good things, he just needs a push in the right direction)

especially interesting bc I think Saikis power itself is more “selfish” and Toritsukas is more “selfless” if that makes sense.

Like Saiki can have basically whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He could end the world, become worshipped as a god, take and take with no consequence. Meanwhile Toritsukas’s power is being a spirit medium, he can see and talk to the dead, he can help people communicate with their loved ones, he can keep lonely ghosts company, even the more self serving things like possession, he’s still benefiting the ghosts so they can feel like they’re alive again.

idk I think having Saiki be the more selfless one and Tori be the more selfish one is a really interesting choice

[blacktreacle22]

Saw this post and it really sent me down a spiral:

And even if it was fresh air,

that debate has me reeling bc:

Amren suggested first that they should get out of the house (it’s true that it was for selfish or rather bigger reasons but she was THE FIRST to suggest that) [“if you want to start convincing your sisters (to help with patching up the wall) get them out of the house; being cooped up never helped anyone” - while in Amren’s apartament on the first day back in Velaris]

Then Cassian (Feyre: “Would you use her to see if she somehow can take down the wall? (About Nesta) Cassian: “Yes. Not only for our sakes but, she needs to get out of the house…she needs to…she’ll destroy herself if she stays cooped up in there.” - while carrying Feyre from Amren’s apartment after talking about the Book of Breathings, before the first dinner back in Velaris) (although I understand why this might not necessarily be taken into account, bc he mentioned only Nesta, for obvious reasons, but we could interpret…)

Then Lucien (“She needs fresh air. Take her to the sea, take her to some garden but get her out of this house for an hour.” - after their interaction in the library of the HoW)

Then Azriel (“Would you like me to show you the garden?” - upon moving Elain to the Townhouse)

So, if we want to give someone points for coming up with the idea for the sisters to get out of the house, it should be Amren. (People will probably not do this because her reason wasn’t selfless.)

If we want to refer to only Elain AND a selfless suggestion we’re looking at Lucien and Azriel.

If we want to think about who suggested it first and maybe persuaded Feyre’s decision it was Lucien or rather Feyre seeing through his eyes.

If we want to address who mentioned the garden first, as it is Elain’s domain, it was Lucien.

HOWEVER, (and I say this without actually hating any of the involved characters, in this case Lucien) Lucien firstly suggested the sea, then the garden. ALSO, he was actually told about Elain’s passion for gardening (while hiding in a cave in Winter court with Feyre).

Azriel mentioned this without anyone telling him the fact + he is the only one who actually asked Elain and not suggested to Feyre to make the decision.

I didn’t mean for this to turn into another point to Azriel, I actually wanted to say that in terms of this debate I would rather not even consider it at this point.

But now, I am again inclined to be team Azriel because it is very interesting that the two situations are juxtaposed immediately (as soon as Lucien heads out of the library Feyre asks Rhys for Cassian or Azriel to help with the move) and we are seeing for the first time how one addresses Elain in third person, while the addresses her directly.

- Again, these are my thoughts, I actually started this post convinced I am not even going to care anymore about the “getting out of the house” debate.

- I do not think Lucien suggesting that is bad, not at all, I am just saying that in comparison, he just used the information he had as opposed to making an assessment. I genuinely don’t want to “deduct any points” or something.

Also, these were some of my thoughts prior to being prompted for this post right here, and I have been accused that what I said was not factually correct ( it just so happens that I had some other unspoken theories about her leaving the room earlier than I mentioned in that post ).

Ok bye!!!

[doubledyke]

A thing I like on Double D is that, despite how prideful and condescending he can be, he still believes on the potential on people- like, I mean, there some times where he tries to stimulate Ed mentally just like in The Luck of the Ed and They Call him Mr. Ed, or that treasure hunt in Dim Lit Ed with the kids. Heck, he even volunteered to tutour Eddy in The Eds are Coming.

Basically, he believes everyone still can be smart- just need a push or a little hand.

definitely true! imo it often comes from a place of wanting the glory of being the one who helps them. he thinks he knows best, probably better than even their parents. like that semi-joke post i made about how he thinks he's gonna "fix" eddy. to be clear, i don't think that's the only reason he's friends with eddy. but there's a piece of edd that believes eddy just needs training, which isn't the best way to approach relationships with people. and maybe a little bit with ed too, but i'd imagine to a lesser extent bc ed is just being ed. he's not really hurting anyone.

with the other kids he just wants to LARP as a teacher or other authority figure lol. he gets satisfaction out of being the smartest one in the neighborhood and being seen as the least of 3 evils in his friend group. and i say let him have it, honestly. the poor guy has nothing else. sometimes the way he talks about his peers is really funny (and a bit weird) because he talks as if he's not also just a kid. you can't really blame him for seeing himself that way though. and at least as a group, the cul-de-sac kids are pretty dim, so he's not wrong.

big agree though that edd tries to see the best/potential best in others. he is a very gracious and forgiving person. he genuinely wants to be helpful and it's not entirely selfless but that's totally fine. most things aren't. like most kids he lacks self awareness and doesn't realize that he comes off as... well a bit of a dork.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

i think i like the four swords manga so much bc there is some just. very up my alley character and ship archetypes in there, but also the message itself and emotional beats hit surprisingly hard?

(long analysis below)

i like the idea of this character who is so ATTACHED to the idea of being an outsider and harming others, because he believes that he will never belong in the light with them. over the course of the manga, shadow link develops genuine fondness for vio, shows vulnerability through that fondness, and gets betrayed. no matter how real the feelings were between them, vio couldn't bear to hurt his friends or the world. it devastates shadow link; really gets to him. i wonder if he even knew he could have these feelings, falling for the very ruse he attempted to use on vio to get him on his side. while shadow is very ridiculous and theatrical in general, it doesn't seem fake when he expresses that he's glad vio has joined him. it also seems very real when he breaks down after the betrayal.

zelda choosing to be kind to shadow rather than mock him for being foolish is like the final straw that shatters his world view. she asks if he really thinks the light will hurt him, and challenges the notion that he isn't a hero deep down. she's not making excuses for him or telling him who to be; she's naming his deepest insecurities loud and clear and telling him it's okay to be scared. she's not rubbing salt in the wound of vio's rejection, but instead suggesting that shadow could find belonging with others if he took a leap of faith and tried to be their friend without an ulterior motive. shadow gets so giddy about the idea of doing havoc with vio, and it's like buddy, you're experiencing happiness because you like vio, not because you like being evil. i think deep down, we all just want to find Our People. and i can't stand to be cynical enough to suggest that we all don't have at least someone out there for us. it's just harder for some people to belong than others, as is the case with shadow.

shadow link is messed up and destructive to the people around him, unable to even imagine belonging in the light so he settles for chaos in darkness--but he submits, by the end of the comic, to the terrifying truth that he is deserving of love and capable of loving. i say terrifying because in an allegorical sense, it's kind of the equivalent of saying "i'm gay/mentally ill--i can't change that the world is harder for me, and it will be harder to find people who understand me, but i'm doing a disservice to myself and anyone i could hypothetically love by not trying to be my best self." it's a great and fairly uncommon message, especially for teenagers and young people in general.

i mean dude, talk about a bizarre but weirdly resonant reflection of the "gay teenager developing feelings for their best friend" experience. shadow link sets out to manipulate vio at first by appealing to his ego, no personal stakes in the game, but almost IMMEDIATELY falls DOWN BAD for this guy and becomes incredibly emotionally vulnerable around him. shadow link is genuinely LIVING for the time he gets to spend with vio, being as chaotic and theatrical and unrestrained as he pleases. he really believe that vio sees him, and likes him for who he is (which for the record i think is true, but vio also cares about his friends and the fate of the world, things that hold no meaning to shadow).

vio betrays shadow and it genuinely hurts, and that's kind of incredible for a short comic with a lot of goofy moments. and then shadow's resolution is vindicating too, he has agency in the choices he makes, and he does the right thing because he finally believes he doesn't need to remain in the darkness. he disguises himself to help the four because he knows they don't trust his face, really demonstrating the selfless desire to end all the magic shit that put him and the others in archetypical dark/light boxes. shadow link changes a lot in a short period, but the fact that to the end he believes that he still isn't like the others is negated by them saying he's part of "the body" and their friend. his "death" is very simply put in the text--"when a shadow turns to light, it disappears." it's not like a real death. it's a permanent and meaningful statement on how much shadow has changed, and found belonging and acceptance. if shadow's physical form came from feelings of spite and resentment, it makes sense that it no longer needed to exist.

and to TOP IT OFF, he does "end up" with vio and the others, if we're viewing The Full Link as an allegorical friend group or community. he's not quite as homogenous as they are, but rather serves as a shadow of the four. i love the panel where he's giving a thumbs-up from link's shadow so much. that's so simple and obvious, but honestly poetic. because like, in some ways you're never going to be just like everyone else. finding friends who are also gay or mentally ill doesn't make you any less of who you specifically are, and in at least some ways your friends and loved ones are always going to be different from you. i don't like it when the ultimate takeaway from a story is "once you live happily ever after, the darkness will be all gone," because hello??? some things never go away, and the darkness has, for better or for worse, made you who you are! qualities i see in shadow link are sardonic humor, unusual expressiveness, and a deep sense of caring towards His People/Person. those are fueled partially, but not entirely, by his not-great circumstances and deepest fears... but they're also where he shines.

you can be different from other people without resigning yourself to an lonely and unhappy life. coming out doesn't make you any less gay; seeking treatment doesn't magically cure mental illness; but acknowledging yourself for who you are is life-changing liberation, and necessary in the pursuit of happiness. these are huge and scary steps that especially young people are struggle to take, settling for resentment over the possibility of rejection. shadow link takes a chance and finds belonging, but still maintains the parts of himself that give him such a distinct personality. he is accepted for who he is, and at the end of the day who he is is not dark force whose sole purpose is to ruin lives, but just a strange gay-ass little dude who's a little bit extra but good at heart. and vio, as well as the others, appreciate that wholeheartedly. at the end of the day, the Whole Link just isn't the Whole Link without his shadow.

i don't know man, it's always special to me when an angsty character is written not as a joke, but as an opportunity to give people hope. even in the most obscure of places, even in ways that i can analyze endlessly but mean nothing to the average person. maybe none of this was the authors' intention. even if the manga was just, like, a shallow implementation of tropes and characteristics i'm a SUCKER for, i'd still love it to bits.

but i do see something a little deeper here, i can't help it. clearly the story has resonated with a small but dedicated group of fans, many of whom read the manga as kids or teens. i'm... honestly a little jealous of that. it's the kind of story i needed, and the kind of story i wish to tell. this series is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

[gothsuguru]

HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333 

FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’< 

and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! 🥺🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!! 

AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33

IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33

OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it

& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen

THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!

AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah

^ me when reading your fics

[onlyjaeyun]

the way heeseung genuinely believed he could treat y/n well if only he had the chance to because compared to his ex's she's different, but he's just too fucking stupid to realize that he has already taken the chance to "treat her right", in fact the chance was taken the second he reciprocated her feelings, except the truth is he just doesn't love her the way he thinks he could. because life isn't ideal you just take what you fucking get and try your best to make it into your own personal paradise but heeseung just can't do it. instead he chooses stupidity and drowning in his sorrows over actually doing something to make his life better but ig its understandable because it's just what he's used to 😭 but does he ever even think about how selfless sunghoon is and if he ever found out heeseung is the reason behind his beloved sister's suffering he'd literally lose his shit? and heeseung's stupidity has now made sunghoon the indirect reason for his sister's suffering which just makes it even worse!! heeseung truly believes, and it's somewhat correct, that he's this selfless person and he's willing to do everything for people who are dear to him yet he forgets that the person he's being so selfless for would do the same for him and other people that are dear to him also. jaeyun was right, we don't always get what we want, and heeseung will never get this happy ending and these amazing circumstances that he made up in his head, the ideal situation where he gets the girl without any issues, and you just have to fucking deal with it. but dealing with it doesn't necessarily mean moping around and crying about it, begging people who snap you back into reality to just stop you from daydreaming because it "hurts", dealing with it also means making the best out of what you have and handling it in a way that will surely be painful and will take a lot of energy and time but will also help you reach the goal that you need and i really wish heeseung could see that there IS a way out to reach his goal, that the situation isn't ideal but he can take advantage of what he has so far, instead he's just not doing anything and it's painful to see

sorry for the big rant 🥹

THIS THIS THIS!!!!! couldn't have said it better and have absolutely nothing to add, i love when you guys rant like this bc it makes me feel less crazy for being so into this story 😭🩷 thank you sm baby

[sonofthedunes]

part one of angsty luke/andrie headcanons under the cut. be warned, they’re all various shades of depressing and some of them are extremely dark.

some of what i’ve mentioned before applies here: andrie is the only surviving child of an unhappy marriage-whose mother never really seems to want her (perhaps because she sees her daughter’s force sensitivity and is appalled by it) and who leaves her family when andrie is 8, whose father is barely around and dies of exhaustion when andrie is 13.

her great-grandmother is kind if distant, and her uncles treat her well (in particular garit, for reasons that will be explained later). but to her grandmother zaria she is more like a live-in servant, a bothersome mouth to feed until she’s old enough to be married off. nothing andrie does seems to please her; the older woman is forever telling her that her tongue is too sharp, her eyes too direct, that mykarrah women are to be composed and quiet at all times (andrie would dearly love to point out how hypocritical this is, but doesn’t relish the thought of a slap for her trouble).

years later garit tells andrie why her grandmother was so insistent on her meekness, and why she coerced her into suppressing her abilities: because andrie’s great-aunts (zaria’s sisters) were both force sensitive just like her, they didn’t hide it, and they were murdered for it. in zaria’s eyes, this was the only way to save her granddaughter-and while andrie obviously does live, this choice is partially what makes her into such a temperamental and combative young woman.

in andrie’s early childhood, her aunt ylva (garit’s wife) serves as something of a surrogate mother to her. a genuinely sweet and selfless woman, she loves andrie just as much as her own sons and andrie adores her right back. but in perhaps the first great tragedy of andrie’s life, just before her niece’s fifth birthday ylva suddenly takes ill and dies. the family is devastated, but worse is still to come.

when andrie is 10 years old in 9 BBY, a sand fever epidemic sweeps across many of tatooine’s most populous settlements-and moisture farmers in rural areas carry it back to their own families from doing business in town. children and the elderly are particularly vulnerable; though her great-grandmother contracts only a mild case, andrie and her cousins conor and trager all become very sick. andrie recovers. her cousins do not. garit has lost his entire family, and from then on regards andrie as something of an adopted daughter. (her other uncle, orin, never marries and has no children.)

because of her cousins’ deaths, it becomes imperative that andrie marry and produce an heir to keep the farmstead in the direct mykarrah line-otherwise it will go to the son of zaria’s brother. as soon as andrie gets her first period at 12, zaria begins searching for a suitable husband. andrie is never asked how she feels about this or if it is something she wants.

but the force works in mysterious ways, and this ends up being how andrie formally meets luke when they’re both 18. there isn’t exactly a surfeit of eligible young men in the area, so zaria must consider them all-even an orphan from a poor family who bears a slave name. (mykarrah is not a slave name-and in the past andrie’s family has in fact owned slaves.) the marriage doesn’t happen bc owen objects to the idea of his nephew basically being adopted for use as a breeding stud, but during the negotiations the teenagers are sent away and discover they have more in common than they thought. they become friends-but zaria declares luke to be “surly” and “obstinate” (even though he was incredibly polite) and forbids him from setting foot in her home again. andrie’s uncles disagree with her assessment and help foster their niece’s new friendship; since she’s not allowed to leave the farm without an escort, they simply happen to run into luke and owen on visits to anchorhead, or accompany her to the lars homestead on occasion.

when word reaches the mykarrahs of the destruction of the lars farm, it is garit who gently breaks the news to andrie that there were no survivors. of course she is devastated; her friend, her only friend (who she’s been slowly developing feelings for), is dead, and she is condemned to a lonely life until she is forcibly married off. but the more she thinks on it, the more it dawns on her that she’s had enough. that for both luke and herself, she is going to leave this place and travel the stars. make something of herself. so that night she runs away from home (without telling anyone, which does come back to bite her in the ass) and hitches a ride on a trader transport to mos eisley. and in the spaceport, guided by the force’s hand, she sneaks aboard a junky corellian freighter and hides in one of the floor compartments…

during her service in the rebellion, andrie learns the meaning of real terror many times: during the battle of yavin, on her first few recon missions, dashing to make a transport ship when the rebels must flee yet another base. but perhaps the most potent of all comes when luke is rescued from cloud city. she knows the facts of his physical injuries, but not how they occurred…until she and luke are alone in his quarters on home one, a terrible thought enters her mind, and she asks him “it was vader, wasn’t it?” averting his eyes, he nods. a wave of fury and horror sweeps over her and she fiercely swears the Sith Lord will pay for what he’s done; were he standing before them now she’d attack with no hesitation. but when she demands to know what exactly happened, luke is unable to speak-he trembles, his eyes fill with tears and he slowly falls apart in front of her. to see someone so courageous, so headstrong, reduced to quiet sobs at the mere thought of that confrontation…that is the true measure of vader’s terrible power. luke buries his face in andrie’s neck and cries, and moved by helplessness and sorrow she cries with him. they have never wept in front of each other like this before. somehow, they forget to be ashamed.

just before luke returns to dagobah to complete his training, he and andrie spend the night together. the following morning, he tells her that there’s one last thing she can do for him. and so it is that andrie cuts his hair, giving him the style we see in return of the jedi-stripping away the last vestiges of the boy to let the man face his destiny. she turns her back when he steps out the door, unable to bear the sight of him leaving for who knows how long…but just prior she declares “the force is with you.” (not may the force be with you. it is. it has to be. the galaxy depends on it.)

as always, drop any questions you may have the askbox. part two soon.

[noxiatoxia]

you must talk about hikakao...... ooooo y ou want to so bad ............

I DO I REALLY DO BUT IDK WHAT TO SAY .......... hmm well actually I have a Few thoughts. I was thinking abt kaoru bc i am always thinking abt him sadly, and something i think a lot of people fail to realize is kaoru is actually quite selfish in his own right. a lot of people (and even myself in certain instances) portray kaoru as being exceedingly selfless or having no self esteem, which i dont think is necessarily the case, at least not straight-forwardly. Like, Kaoru is pretty far from selfless when it comes to others, it really is only like that with Hikaru. even then, he is only "selfless" when he deems it beneficial for his brother. for example, giving up haruhi so hikaru can spend more time with her because it would help hikaru grow as a person. but in that same regard, Kaoru is really selfish and self-centered in that he thinks he is sooo much smarter than his brother. like, he thinks he has it All Figured Out and thus only his vision of the future and what is "good" and "bad" could possibly be the "right" one. Cuz of this way of thinking, thinking he knows things everyone else doesn't and he "sees everything for what it is" (cough carriage cough) means he not so subtly dictates what HE feels hikaru should/shouldn't be doing. like he wants hikaru to grow up and move on not because it is genuinely the best thing for hikaru, but because KAORU thinks it's the best thing for hikaru, and so he is going to push hikaru in that direction without hikaru's consent bc kaoru thinks he knows what's best for his brother more than hikaru himself knows. which brings me to another interesting point, kaoru is EXTREMELY possessive. we all talk about how possessive hikaru is (cuz he is) but kaoru is arguably a lot more creepy about it bc with hikaru he makes his intentions blatantly clear (he's kinda surface level honestly) while kaoru's doing all these calculations and actions with hidden motivations to micromanage his own brother. kinda fuckin weird when you think about it. of course he's doing this bc he thinks it's helping hikaru or w/e. but i can't help but see a twisted level of irony in the fact that kaoru fears hikaru leaving him, and so his solution to this issue seems to be....proving HIMSELF to be the catalysis in hikaru leaving him (aka nudging him along the path of independence) like idk maybe it gives him a feeling of control or fulfillment.

which actually ties into another point ive been thinking about; i do think a lot, a LOT of kaoru's actions and fears (COUGH THE CARRIAGE COUGH) tie into him feeling like he has no control over anything. Fearing his friends leaving him, his brother leaving him, like this guy acts like he has no control over anything and i can't blame him. ouran, for being primary a comedy, does give some rather insightful depictions on different types of dysfunctional families and how it affects the children in them, with the hitachiin household's brand of dysfunctional being child neglect. I can't blame kaoru for feeling like everything's out of control or unstable in his life when he never had a stable life to begin with. i mean, not having any sort of parental figure in your life WILL make everything feel uncertain and loose. and then the only semi-qualified parental figure ended up betraying both the twins' trust and ditching them. i can eeeeasily see how this would forever instill a sense of lacking direction and control in kaoru's life, pushed further by the fact that he's gotten it into his head somehow that hikaru is more important than himself (not a manga fan personally but kaoru does legit flat out say in the manga, according to the wiki, that "hikaru is more important" than himself. so.)

and like. if you're a guy who's ONLY stable thing in his whole life has been his twin brother who he feels inferior to, and is slowly "realizing" that that very brother is going to "have to move on" one day? no yeah i can TOTALLY see kaoru adopting this very, very controlling mindset of "helping hikaru" to grow up just to feel like he has control in this otherwise hopeless situation for him. honestly it's really fucking interesting to think about and i have no clue if the author intended for it to go this deep but damn.....i love his fucked up brain.

and rounding on a point i said earlier, about how i don't think kaoru necessarily has "low self-esteem" in the traditional sense, what i mean is I don't think kaoru is a "i hate myselffff" guy, i mean without reason. as it stands in canon, i dont think kaoru regularly thinks "i hate myself" or "im worthless" or shit like that. what i DO think he thinks is "hikaru is more important than me" (not better, which would be more subjective, but more important, like it's an objective hard fact) or "my friendships are time-sensitive" (in regards to the host club). And i think this IS low self-esteem, but it's a very passive and harder to detect form of it. Kaoru puts himself below Hikaru, not cuz he thinks he's less deserving than Hikaru, but because, intrinsically, Hikaru is just "more important" and that, whether Kaoru means to or not, is going to UNDOUBTEDLY shape how he thinks of himself since he's basing his own importance in comparison to somebody who is "more important". Likewise, his constant fear of losing his friends, again likely caused by his upbringing + some undiagnosed anxiety disorder, can easily lead into feeling worse about yourself since the ability to create and maintain friendships and connections is often tied to someone's sense of self-worth. (I mean, you've heard of how old cartoons or PSAs or whatever refer to bullies and other "low life" people as just unhappy people with "no friends" and the like. this is just a fucked up perception a lot of society holds, that having "no friends" is a red flag.)

All of this eeeeasily tells me kaoru will, if he hasn't already, develop some sort of depressive disorder or mindset, especially if he keeps pushing hikaru away from himself (at least before, he was simply "less important than hikaru". Because without the guy you're directly comparing yourself to constantly, you're no longer second best, you're just nothing.)

wow this got off topic from hikakao to just kaoru character study really quick. let me round things back.

it's no shock hikaru and kaoru's relationship is an odd one given everything they've been through, and it'd not be so odd either that this crippling co-dependence causes kaoru to view hikaru like a partner of sorts. In cases where he genuinely falls in love, or more aptly, realizes he wants Hikaru in other ways that are not-so family-friendly, this would cause huuuge issues to his already fragile mindset about how his world operates, and he'd be quickly suppressing these desires likely out of a worry for hurting hikaru in the process.

this is also where the selfish thing comes back into play, because what if it was HIKARU who initiated it first? He wants to take their relationship to the next level, he wants kaoru like this and he knows kaoru wants it too, but kaoru keeps saying no, we can't, it'll ruin everything, it'll hurt you...

like kaoru would have likely agreed if this was pre-episode 21 or whatever, but past that general time area, he becomes a lot more obsessive with this idea of "moving on" and so I think he'd turn Hikaru down out of the idea of "the greater good." and even if Hikaru insists he knows what he wants, what makes him happy, Kaoru would still say it's not like that, it won't ever be like that, they can't do this, and Hikaru would definitely be the only one able to get through to Kaoru, because 1 it's Hikaru and 2 he's blunt as hell, so he'd probably snap and be like "Stop being so selfish and making my own decisions for me! If you want us to be independent so bad, don't I at least get the freedom to make my own mistakes?"

bc like, I highly doubt Kaoru is even cognitively aware of his controlling behavior. He does the things he does because it feels like he has to. And he probably had no clue how insanely suffocating he was being until Hikaru said that.

fuckkk that's what i love so much about hikakao right there y know. yes i love their toxic codependent swag and how insanely, well, insane they are for each other. but the idea of them growing up, becoming independent but STILL choosing each other time and time again, this time not out of necessity but out of genuine choice just because they love each other that much?? fuckkk.........fuuuck.......... win. win.

[algumaideia]

I hope I didn't mess things up by writing in first person and in the present tense.

I also hope Octavian didn't sound mean bc that is not the impression I wanted to give. He is just being rational.

...

“I thought entering the Fifth Cohort would be my way out of the political game."

Jason is sitting in the grass, holding his knees, trying to hide his face. It’s a position of a loser. Which is quite ironic considering what he is talking about.

"You know, you are not bad at making strategies to deal with things happening in the moment. But you really don't know how to plan things in the long run. You don't think several steps ahead."

"Are you here to help me or insult me?"

So dramatic.

“It’s just… you ask for advice before making the decisions, not after. It wasn’t a bad idea to join the Fifth Cohort. They are the unofficial losers of the camp, there was no way it could be good for your political image like joining the First Cohort. Again, you are good when it is about short-term stuff. But well, you see, unlike the First or Second Cohort, the Fifth Cohort doesn’t have prominent fighters. And, your decision to the join the Fifth Cohort seemed bad, but more than that it was weird which meant a lot of people wanting to know what the hell you were thinking, a lot of people very curious about the situation.”  

I pause and sigh. Talking about the situation out loud made me realize how ridiculous this whole thing is. Jason’s decisions would be good moves if he wanted to achieve the opposite of what he got.

“A lot of people were paying attention to you when you are surrounded by not impressive campers. Nothing against the Fifth Cohort, but the best fighters, the ones with the most potential go to the First and Second Cohorts. And even there you would stand out, the power of a son of Jupiter is immense. As if this wasn’t enough you just couldn’t stop being the camp’s golden boy. You had to try your best and more.” I lightly kick his leg “How helping the disgraced cohort become respectful is a good way to be frowned upon by your peers?”

Jason seemed to try to hide himself even more.

“Tav, I don’t think you should shame me for helping them be treated with respect.”

That wasn’t what I wanted. I was just telling facts. Maybe I should moderate my tone of voice.

“I’m not shaming you. All I am trying to point out is that being extremely selfless is not going to make your selfish goals happen. And before you say anything, I don’t mean selfish in a negative way.”

“I… is there anyway we can change the current situation?”

“I mean, you could set the camp on fire.”

Jason suddenly lifted his head alarmed.

“Tav!!”

I shrug and smile.

“What? I gave you an effective suggestion. What is your idea?”

“To ask your help, but you haven’t been useful.”

I roll my eyes.

“I guess we can make other people look like fitter to the praetorship. But, Jason,” we are making eye contact so, as I learned, now he knows I’m speaking seriously “we cannot damage your reputation without hurting other people in some way.”

Jason closes his eyes. He is making a face, like he is pain. Maybe he is feeling some sort of emotional pain.

“Okay.”

I’m not sure what to do to make him feel better.

“You know, I do admire your altruism a lot.”

Jason opens a weird smile. It is not like his genuine, happy ones.

“You are a good friend, Tav.”

I kick his leg again.

“Stop being cheesy.”

“You started.”

“What a child.”

[llycaons]

ep25 (pt 1): the superior PM blindfolding and wx scene

picking up directly where we left off last episode, wwx and jyl coming back in from harvesting lotus, wwx teasing the kids all the way. it's cute! and jyl is sooo pretty

jzx shows up so she changed, I guess. her clothes were wet anyway

jzx is such a dork in this episode. yeah. he's obnoxious and arrogant to her later, but when his awkward immaturity slips out from his veneer of smug superiority, it's quite endearing.

I do NOT know what jyl sees in him before this but maybe she was just excited to get married and be loved by someone? but in this episode she was going to dump him if he didn't change how he treated her which is the only way I got invested in their relationship. he had to work for it and prove himself and be genuine and selfless and kind!! and he did!! rip

this is so funny I love him

wwx is so good at deflecting, I feel like most fics don't do it as naturally or skilfully as canon did. teasing, confident, bordering on condescending. he has such a strong personality and it sucks to see him reduced to 'traumatized and clingy crier'. he is all three of those things too, and postcanon he is a bit chiller but he's still HIMSELF. bold and clever and sarcastic and unwilling to grovel before authority

this is SUCH a jyl and wwx episode. they're so silly together, he's making her laugh and she's hiding her smile behind her fan. this reminds me of the goofy things my little brother would do 🥺 he's not dead or anything I just haven't seen him in months

the wens getting paraded out really changed the tone of the scene. EVERYONE was taken aback, everyone looked shocked or nervous. wwx is the most visibly angry, and it's only bc of jc's frantic motions to 'DON'T DO ANYTHING' that he steps back. honestly I get jc's fears here, but...sign. tho none of the other sect leaders did anything either, looking at you lan 'fair judgement' xichen and nie 'justice' mingjue. lwj is also curiously subdued this episode - lxc says later he's distracted but he's even less expressive than usual

everyone handing him stuff cracks me up. he doesn't even need to LOOK. and his bow and arrows matchy with his robes and the tents and the tower itself WOW this world is so color-coordinated

ohhh super impressive! I wonder how anyone can beat a perfect bullseye?

this request kind of baffled me, bc his forehead ribbon is far too narrow to use as a blindfold. maybe he wanted it as a good-luck charm? the cut to jc looking angry was kind of funny though. how dare wwx be so shamelessly gay in public etc.

we never see these unwrapped iirc 👀

and of course they have matching bows for the yunmeng aesthetic

HELL YEAH. SEXIEST MOMENT OF THE EPISODE

aww even jc clapping for him. this expression is like one of the nicest he ever gets

and he's smiling to his sister!!! his face is honestly a little sexy for that but that's what he's doing

DUDE DUDE THIS SCENE!!!! wwx all alone, then seeing lwj, then remembering lxc's warning and looking away, then lwj seeing him and LEAVING THE PATH TO COME JOIN HIM ANYWAY??!! yet another of the tiny re-enactments of their relationship over the course of the show. and wwx's eyes get so big when lwj comes to him, he's clearly so touched that lwj isn't abandoning him even if he can't tell him the truth.

fuck I love the post-ss arc SO much this is like catnip to me the relationships and the drama and the tragedies are all so delicious

eh, I'll always favor 'soulmate' even if it it's technically correct. honestly 'confidante' would work better here too. anywa THIS IS IT!!!! I STILL AM!!! so earnest, so full of love, so ready to help, so scared for him. ough, the romance. the tragedy!

wwx looks at chenqing for such a long time after lwj says that...lwj wants to know what's going on and how he can help but wwx is so paranoid and traumatized and afraid that he just can't say it 😭

and this scene, where they're just looking at each other for a long time...the tension in this scene was INTENSE. if it had gone on a little longer, who knows what would have happened.

[jueunnn]

<txt choi line as high school bfs>

choi line x reader, an absurd amount of fluff, no warnings, high school! AU

got a little carried away with beomgyu’s one as i’m sure you’ll be able to tell, but no harm done :p

yeonjun

captain of the dance team and well known throughout your whole school for being cute AND nice AND talented?? what a man

walks the hallways of your school like he owns it bcs let's be real he does

waited 927483 years for you to confess to him bcs he's actually kinda shy and can't bring himself to confess :((

but flirted HARD

very hard

“y/n!! those books look really heavy :( let me help you with that!”

“yeonjun i'm not carrying any b- what the hell why are you carrying me?!??”

but he eventually gathers up the courage to ask you out :)) and the school's power couple is born😫😫

holds your hand EVERYWHERE- he needs to make sure people know you're taken and happy

also back hugs are very common!! often times you're just vibing talking to your friends and out of nowhere a pair of very strong arms wrap around your waist and yeonjun snuggles his head into the crook of your neck

“babyyy, i missed you~”

insists you come to all his dance competitions so he can kiss you after every win like in the movies :)

his lifelong and one true love had always been music and dance, but apparently there’s just enough room in his heart to squeeze one more person in

soobin

drums for the school band,, quietest drummer you’ve ever met

but then you’re paired up with him for an english lit project and that impression immediately fades

your first meeting mainly consists of him making your stomach hurt with laughter and barely getting any work done- who knew soobin was a budding stand-up comedian?

as the both of you get closer he eventually moves to sit next to you in all of your shared classes, raising a slew of suspicions from the rest of your classmates

“hey, y/n, someone just texted me about how i should break up with you and date them instead- apparently we’re dating! why didn’t you tell me??”

“SOOBIN STOPWKSJ😭”

but then his usual mischievous grin fades and his expression grows serious. "do you want to?"

“do you want to date? be my girlfriend, y/n. i really like you.”

your jaw drops open and your mind grows fuzzy. soobin. renowned hot drummer and heartthrob. is asking you out? there is absolutely no way, your mind is definitely playing tricks on you, you're embarrassing yourself, but what if-

soobin immediately wraps his arms around your waist and spins you around when you say yes

definitely the most caring and sweet boyfriend ever™️

makes sure he walks you to and from every class, one arm carrying your bag and the other grasping your hand

kisses on the cheek and whispers of 'i love you, you sweet, sweet girl'

late night calls into absurd hours of the morning talking about nothing and everything, only to walk into school the next day with bags circling the underside of both of you and soobin’s eyes

this selfless, unconditional love you have the blessing of receiving is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experienced

beomgyu

was lowkey a player before he met you

it isn’t that he wants or likes breaking so many hearts, he just genuinely falls in and out of love very fast🤐

doesn’t help that he’s extremely good looking so girls are practically falling over each other trying to get at him

starts out as usual when he accidentally crashes into you in the hallway, knocking you to the ground with a painful thud

“oh crap, are you oka-”

holy shit you’re pretty.

he can feel his heart pounding away at a hundred miles an hour when your eyes lock on him

insists on taking you out for coffee when he’s helping you pick up your books scattered on the floor as a means of apologising

you’re sceptical at first; after all, you’ve heard the rumours about choi beomgyu and his habit of dating girls for a week and then dropping them

but then again, who are you to deny free coffee?

he grins when you accept. “it’s a date.”

?:&;₩&:?! um okay why not you suppose

in the small neighbour cafe he realises you’re so much more than just a (very) pretty face

your laughs are genuine and carefree, your eyes dance with life and your sentences must be laced with cocaine by the way he’s hooked on every word

suddenly his whole aspect on love changes. the way he felt about all those other girls is nothing compared to how he’s feeling right now; right now his world is exploding with colour

it still takes a while for you to completely trust that he’s into you and only you, though

but by the time your two month anniversary comes and goes, you’re coming around

it’s the little things he does: the way he looks at you like you’re the most ethereal being on the planet, the gentle touch of his hands as he cradles your face when he kisses you, the notes he leaves in your locker daily

he’s your prince, you’re his princess, and he’s never letting you go

[transpat]

bad buddy's storytelling is so grounded in their present it barely gives us snippets into their past to clue together how they feel about the other (like when exactly pran fell and how pat too had been in love all along) and then there's other things that aren't clearly explained but if u think about it along w the facts we were presented it suddenly does.

like pat and ink. through out ep 4 and 5 it was the only thing i could think about bc i understand them not dating bc ink's a lesbian but that pat hadn't tried at all? that he never confessed before? i mean after pran left, ink was still there, she was w him for two years so why hadn't he ever made a move? it makes sense if u look at the 'pat's always been in love' perspective. both times, his interest in ink arose bc of her (possible) proximity to pran and while he did like her, his romantic interest started as misdirected jealousy. so it makes perfect sense that his feelings would disappear as soon as pran was removed from the equation. not just his jealousy but pat had projected his crush on pran to others too, and he did like those girls he dated in the past he's not that kind of asshole (it is possible to like more than one person at a time too so). but from the beginning for him, it's always been pran.

that's why pran being removed from his life makes him lose interest in the girl he likes so drastically he doesn't bother pursuing her. or maybe he still liked her but didn't care enough to try. or maybe he was so heartbroken he forgot everyone, everything else.

in ep 5 after he realizes w an irrefutable certainty that he's in love w pran, his first impulse is to turn to ink and confess to her. he's testing it out, seeing if those feelings for ink were ever there, and if they were, was it strong enough to make him care. she gives him the answer to both.

but turning to ink is also that one rare instance of pat running away, of pat choosing cowardice. he's at a stage rn w pran where pran doesn't even want to be friends w him, so what happens if pran finds out he's in love? since their separation pat's had this deeply rooted fear of losing pran and then realizing he loved pran and could possibly lose him was like ripping band-aid off a fresh wound. like a knee jerk reaction, he tries to rid of anything that could possibly snatch pran from him. he's done that in the past, he recognizes that now. each time he'd redirect his feelings for pran on some other girl was so that pran wouldn't grow distant from him, and he knows that w time he'd start to genuinely like her so he doesn't think what he's doing is wrong. but ink rejects him and hauls him back to his senses.

that's why i love that whole scene so much. we see pat, who's usually such a selfless, rational, good person, become someone selfish, senseless and cruel. previously we saw how far he goes in helping pran bc he's afraid to lose him, but a desperation that strong obv has an ugly edge, his unresolved insecurities would naturally fester. he's lucky it was ink, lucky it was one of his best friends. if it was someone who didn't know him that well, he would have made a mistake. if it was someone who was interested him that way, he would have hurt them. but its ink, who knows who understands. so he's relieved when she turns him down, she saved him.

ik ink's known about pranpat for a while, but during the hotpot date when she asks pat if he ever liked her at all, u realize she's known all along. that pat's initial interest in her was born out of his need to separate her from pran and even this time he simply fell into the same rabbit hole. pat did like her in the past and he liked pran at the same time. things were different now. pran was much closer to him than he's ever been, pran's been letting pat into his room, even let him stay the night, and now pat doesn't want anything else.

ink's been the one person who saw their story beyond the façade they were putting up, she's the one who provided them a safe space to nurture their friendship in school and their romance in college, she's the steady support they'd dearly needed. she's so important to the story and particularly to pranpat, and to see a female character in bl written as the bridge that brought the leads together, the catalyst that pushed them into action, instead of some pathetic, poorly written obstacle was refreshing and wonderful. (they even gave her a gf as a bonus!!) ik the story was centered heavily on pranpat and i love that the leads were the focus of their own show, esp since they're such wonderful characters, but if we get a sequel or spinoff god i hope they center it on her i wanna know everything about ink.

[socheckitout-mikey]

heeey! i miss erica sm )': she deserved sm better! here's some hc's for her bc there's not enough out there for her! it's a long one, just warning ya. <3333 - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dating Erica Reyes Hc's:

° You were never deterred by pre-bite Erica, often finding yourself admiring her from a distance or even being one of the few people who showed kindness to her. However, neither of you really had the courage to ask the other out. You didn't register that you liked one another.

° You were always so mindful of her seizures, never poking fun at her for the things she could not help or blatantly bullying her. Your kindness was like a beacon of warm light amongst the callous hatred cast upon her from others because she was different. This caused her heart to flutter whenever you'd go out of your way to say, "hello" or when you'd be paired together for a class project.

° However, Erica was always frightened that your kindness was just garnering upon sympathy for her. It left her confused since she never had the confidence to ask you about your intentions.

° The bite gave Erica the courage to ask you out, which you pleasantly agreed to. You couldn't get over how much she was beaming, finding it to be the sweetest thing you'd ever seen. It was like you'd seen the sun cast upon a gorgeous beach for the first time.

° She rode that high train of joy for quite some time, despite Derek Hale attempting to squash it, because he was certain he had someone "better" suited for her. He almost convinced her, but didn't quite succeed in splitting you both apart.

° Erica's sudden makeover and confidence boost was somewhat startling. You weren't a stranger to her frequent mood shifts, especially when they were directed towards Scott and Co. You had enough courage to point it out, sometimes receiving a brief quip back of, "You don't understand what you're talking about so just stay out of it!" 

° She meant well as she just wanted to protect you from her other life. Erica was also consumed with a humongous fear of you rejecting her once you discovered her werewolf secret. She was a monster, golden glowing eyes and claws to match. Anyone with a right mind would go sprinting in the opposite direction for dear life.

° Yet you were sweet and patient with her, fretting about her landing herself in the ER once again like the previous gym class where Scott saved her. Sure it irritated her at first, but she gathered your face in her hands and planted a sweet kiss on your lips.

° "You don't have to worry about that anymore, y/n. You trust me right?" She'd asked in that honey sweet tone, a tilt to her pretty head.

° It wasn't long until you discovered her werewolf secret, much to Derek Hale's dismay. However, no matter how valiantly and pettily he'd try to pull you both apart, he couldn't thwart this genuine connection.

° Everything came to a head-to-head when you'd attended detention in the library with Erica, Scott and everyone else. When the Kanima appeared, Erica didn't think twice about protecting you. She was new to this all, afraid herself as she held onto your hand kurtly. She was skittish, shielding you with her body just in time as Jackson came and pricked her with his claws.

° You came crashing down with her, her body lying on top of your back, pressing you into the gritty carpeted floors. The pressure was enough to make it hard to breathe and as she gasped over top of you she whispered in your ear, "Don't move. You'll draw too much attention and get hurt. You're gonna be okay."

° Her selfless nature came out and you were one of the few to really witness it firsthand. It often boggled people who just assumed she was some callous bitch. Erica was more than that, and you were happy to be one of the people to prove that silly notion wrong.

° Afterwards it did take some time getting used to, but you never considered her to be a monster. In fact, you embraced her lycan-self and supported this new side to her as it meant she was relieved of pain, discomfort and gave her a newfound confidence she needed. This not only astonished her, but also Derek, who garnered some respect towards you when you weren't as squirmish as he originally thought you would be.

° "I can protect you." Is something she'd be guilty of saying, despite how cliche it was. Erica also knew that you'd protect her just as much, despite finding it slightly silly.

° But you were needed, especially when things got out of hand with the Argents. Nerves would be struck and you kept Erica sane, almost like you were her anchor.

° "Home is where the heart is right?" 

° "Babe, that's really cheesy."

° Honestly, you guys go on very fun dates. Erica has the versatility of being both introverted and extroverted: She's game for quieter and more intimate endeavours, as well as spontaneous and adventurous ones!

° PDA galore! Erica has the tendency to become possessive and jealous easily, but she can be coy with it. Competition is like mice to her. She's the cat and as she puts it, "I don't mind playing with my food". Public displays of affection help put across to others that you're both taken. She just likes to show off a little, but is respectful enough, backing off if you're uncomfortable. Honestly, she just likes physical touch as it's one of her love languages with you.

° You've got to put up with a lot of mischief and playfulness. Erica enjoys pulling pranks and will rope you in on the ones directed at her packmates. She's always got this puppy dog look when she gets caught in the act, especially by you.

° "Don't give me that look, E!" 

° "What look?" 

° "You know what look I'm talking about. Stop it!"

° "I dunno… Maybe you should have a peek to see if it's the same look."

° She sneaks through your bedroom window regardless of what gender you are. Rebellion is her middle name and it's sweet because it's usually because she wants to cuddle.

° "You've got your own bed, babe." You reminded her.

° "Yeah, but it didn't have you in it." She pouted pettily.

° She tends to also bring snacks and falls asleep first, curled into your embrace. She's a sucker for back strokes and her unruly blond mane being played with, which you love catering to until your arms go dead.

° "My arms dead, babe-" 

° "That's just an excuse! Just give it a minute and you can keep going."

° She does return the favour though!

° You're a very patient, kind person that soothes Erica's bursts of anger and impatience. You remind her that controlling things isn't everything, helping her to work through difficult emotions that she struggles to cope with. This stems from anger towards bullies, past mistreatment, etc. You're not a therapist, but your ability to see beyond yourself rubs off on her.

° Derek even becomes mesmerised over time when he sees Erica respond in a less bitchy way to people. Even Stiles makes many comments on it.

° "Okay, can everyone agree that y/n is a miracle sent to earth? I think this is a confirmation that God might actually exist." Stiles was practically gawking, freaking out actually.

° "Well, since you're having your religious awakening, are you wetting the bed yet? We've literally got the Argents on our asses." Derek snarled.

° "Honestly, I don't think I was that bad-" Erica murmured innocently.

° "That bad…" Alison snorted.

° "What was that Snow White and the Seventh of a Brain cell?"

° Let's not forget how supportive Erica is of you, especially if you've got a hobby or play any sports. She really goes all out in supporting you, whether it's cheering you on with her packmates or helping you study for a big test coming up.

° You get on very well with Boyd and Isaac. The pair see you as a sibling, which makes things easier. Isaac tended to be more distrusting of you at the beginning, but now he's awkwardly annoying with his strange banter that you surprisingly enjoy. He likes to annoy Erica and make a show out of her slight embarrassment until she's got him in an ironclad headlock.

° "Can't breathe-" Isaac wheezed

° "That wasn't an apology I heard there-" Erica grunted, tightening her headlock.

° Derek walked through with a black coffee, half smiling like "You shouldn't have said she smells people’s shoes like a dog." He stated, bemused.

° They're just siblings!

° Boyd's her best friend, so the importance of you guys getting along is key. Although he may look intimidating and ooze a certain temper at times, Boyd is quiet, calm and observant. He's figuring you out before you can figure him out. He's also very protective of Erica. Boyd truly likes you and you both get on very well, and it's nice to have someone around that doesn't announce he has explosive diarrhoea to the school nurse when he's helping save his friends.

° It's always a lovely time when Boyd can find a way to tease Isaac back for said embarrassing banter.

° For a human, Derek grows fonder of you the more time you spend around him. It particularly helps when he is no longer the alpha: His authenticity shines and he really enjoys your presence in the pack. Everyone else also likes you too since you even Erica out and bring her best qualities to the surface. 

° Your feelings came out for her much firmer for her when she was taken by the Alpha Pack. Tensions between you and Derek were at an all high when he refused to let you help him. Your begging to be turned into a werewolf fell on deaf ears until he finally aired out the truth: That turning you would be an endangerment to not only yourself but everyone else, especially Erica. He took responsibility for two of his betas being taken, but wouldn't take responsibility for you getting hurt. Guilt tripping you into staying on the sidelines.

° You went an uncanny route to save Erica by pairing yourself up with Alison once she became less rouge. Trusting not to believe the fact that Isaac had seen her dead body, you went with Alison, stuck in the closet only to find another dead body belonging to another unsuspecting victim.

° Erica was alive, but not well as she fled the vault with Cora and Boyd into the night with a full moon. But like the other’s, she survived and made a speedy, full recovery. But no one was out of hot water, as taking down the Alpha Pack and fighting the Darach was notoriously difficult; and at one point each member of both packs almost met their demise.

° However, eventually everyone made it out alive. The Alpha’s were put to rest: Well, not so figuratively when it came to Deucalion and the twins. But things began to settle down until a new threat arrived in Beacon Hills, however that didn’t arrive for quite some time.

° Dating Erica had proven to be a tough spell, and certainly not the fairytale ending you both had imagined. Although there were certainly tests and trivials, your young love blossomed and thrived - even when it was tested by the gruesome violence that ran prosperously in Beacon Hills.

° Each twist and turn lead down a different path: Explosive fights thwarted by gentle embraces and sweet nothings uttered. Erica found her home within you: A stark reality consuming her after she’d been kidnapped. Beacon Hills wasn’t the safe place to be for herself, you or her growing pack. She altered with the shifts, really growing into her own person that the other’s grew fond of, because they could see her candid qualities.

° Hell, when Allison died, Erica was deeply moved by this. The pair had grown fond of each other as they quarrelled in the past. Instead of wallowing in her own self-pity, she turned to everyone in the pack to check if they were okay: It stunned many members, but they came to realise that Erica just didn’t know how else to show that she cared. The ones of utmost importance to her though were Scott, Chris and Isaac.

° Dating Erica is a whirlwind at times as she fights for control, yet to gain distance. She needs someone patient, understanding and as bright as she does. A grounding stone for when she struggles with shifting and whatnot. Someone that can keep up with her spontaneity and grow alongside her. Erica becomes someone much different from the shy teenage girl with the seizures, but comes out into her own! She’s akin to a startlingly beautiful butterfly - constantly in metamorphosis as she shifts and changes through the many things that occur to her in Beacon Hills.

° She’s also noted for being like a feline, slinking across the terrain for her next prey. She is independent, mischievous, yet an affectionate partner. You would often find her lounging with her head in your lap, demanding you pamper her with your affections. Erica is loyal and deserves that loyalty back after everything she has been through. You fit together like two peas in a pod, an air of easy banter and deep fondness perpetuating from you both to the point others either grow sickly of it or they can’t help themselves from murmuring a soft, “awe!” in response.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

there IS a bias against sirius in the marauders fandom, which ppl don't talk about because like u can't admit to disliking him PUBLICLY but which comes out in a lot of ways and i think it's because he's the character whose flaws are pointed out the most in the narrative and who is the most transparently morally grey and in a fandom centered around OC's which it's easy to sanitize (regulus can't have any flaws if he has three lines dedicated to him), it leads to a lot of shitty takes (cont)

(cont, part ii re: sirius) I have noticed that people who HATE Snape and LOVE regulus nearly always have terrible characterizations of sirius because it's emblematic of this fandom's inability to accept characters who don't easily fit into uwu soft boi boxes and instead have real, actual flaws.

I think there's two separate issues to tackle here in what you mention: one is this fandom's inability to stomach actual morally grey characters that have done too many bad things to be easily forgivable without raising the question of morality, but too many good things to just be written off as evil (Snape, Regulus, Barty Crouch Jr, Narcissa etc).

((I don't want to talk about it here because if I do this post will never end, but if anyone wants to hear my thoughts on it (why?) just send me a separate ask about it. Let's talk about Sirius instead --))

The other issue is the bias against Sirius (which I don't think is related to the previous one, at least not directly) - which honestly confuses the hell out of me the more I talk about it, because I absolutely can not put my finger on where it's coming from.

The worst thing is that it comes from people who claim/think they like him, like in WolfStar - there is an obvious and very clear bias against Sirius in so many WolfStar fics (@ padfootastic has several brilliant posts where she talks about it).

When I see anti-Sirius hate from, say, Snape fans who hate the Marauders - it does not surprise me. It's usually irrational and they don't claim to like him to begin with, so it does not bother me. It's just your typical fandom character hate. I get that.

What I don't understand is when you go to someone's blog, who genuinely believes they like Sirius, and then you read their content (which is usually wolfstar, just bc it happens to be the most popular Sirius ship) and it's just.. Sirius fucking up over and over again and apologising to everyone and everybody else (James, Remus, even fucking Regulus) being just perfect and untouchable and it's like... do any of yall actually like Sirius or is he just a prop to make the characters you actually like come off better?

me and Niki talked about it the other day - how in post-Azkaban wolfstar fics it's always Sirius apologising to Remus over and over for thinking he's a spy while Remus believing the Order that Sirius is the traitor and never doing anything to find out the truth or help him is just brushed under the carpet because "oh but all his friends were dead he was so sad!"; wait, and Sirius wasnt? Sirius lost the only family he ever had, which was James.

I don't think it stems from his flaws being pointed out the most, though. Because there's so many characters who are presented in a much more negative light (in the actual canon people tend to forget), which the fandom absolutely adores (including Remus, Snape, Draco and Regulus themselves, each in their own way).

I think, overall, Sirius is a character whose base is specifically made in a way that's easy to hate. He is rich, pureblooded, famous, he is handsome, he is confident and loud, popular, smart, charismatic, good at everything he does, young Sirius is the typical stereotype of a popular high school jock bully, who is usually the unlikeable anti-hero-- but, and here's the twist-- instead, Sirius is kind, Sirius is loyal, Sirius is selfless, Sirius is good.

(Sirius makes everyone around him better - he makes James less hypocritical and more self aware, he makes Remus more open and less self absorbed, he makes Regulus kinder; Sirius is kind, he is giving, in a way it's his response to the trauma he's been through, he responds to it by being kind, and kind, and giving, and selfless)

He has the data to be unlikeable, but he actually isn't, which is where, if I had to take a guess, I would say the confusion people are feeling is coming from. They don't know how to stomach him. They don't know how to write him. Because if you write him the way he is, it makes everyone else seem worse all of a sudden, it brings out their negative traits (whether it's James, Remus, Regulus-) and we can't have that, right? So instead people go in the other direction and make him dramatic, make him annoying, make him selfish, make him all of the things Sirius actually isn't just to bring up the others.

Which is where we go back to the first point (which I see now that is related, now that we're talking about it) - people are afraid of this, because they've already sorted everyone by good and bad, and made it impossible for themselves to like flawed characters.

But there's nothing bad about a character being flawed - the most frequent reason over which I drop fics mid-reading is when one of the main characters is not flawed enough. Lily and Remus are so often written as Mary Sues (Lily for lack of an actual personality, while Remus because his entire character arc is centered around being a werewolf, so we can't give him any other bad traits right? god forbid), James even in Jegulus fics sometimes lacks any personality whatsoever beyond being a good, lovable guy.

So people do everything upside down - they write real, complicated characters as bland and flawless, and then take someone like Sirius, who is so so good, who everyone adores, and drop EVERYBODY'S flaws on him because they don't know what to do with him.

I don't get it.

If someone can explain this phenomenon to me, please do.