#how do you de-escalate fights you're not involved in

[unnervinglyferal]

Who the fuck notices that someone is clearly pissed off to begin with and thinks "oh I know, some lighthearted teasing will cheer you right up! :)"

Like is now really the time to flex on the fact that you've apparently never in your life experienced domestic violence.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

The Light in My Darkness

damon salvatore x gn!reader | requested

summary: after your boyfriend's death, you fell back into old habits. now that he's back, you're having trouble kicking them again.

tags: angst, hurt / comfort, depression, s3lf h4rm, kisses

word count: 1.7k

a/n: i typically don't write for damon, however i feel comfortable writing this subject matter and i'm getting better with understanding his character. honestly, too, i rewatched s7 and i'm starting to love him even more. (i just love the traumatized characters.)

also, i'm not good at titles. my first title had the word 'put' in it, but i stared at it so long, it didn't look like a word anymore and i had to change it. i think i like this one better. i stg, titles are half the reason i take so long to post. whew, anyway... enjoy ❤️

“Stefan needs help at Whitmore,” Damon says hurriedly. He puts his phone in his back pocket and sighs. “Another Enzo situation.”

“Do you want me to come?”

“No, you stay here. I don’t want him anywhere near you, given he’s in one of his moods and would hurt you for no reason.” He gives you a quick kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

He speeds out the door a moment later, leaving you alone in the large, empty house. You sigh. Your life is so full of supernatural drama, it’s hard to keep up. Honestly, you’re not even sure what the situation is with Enzo, or why he and Stefan hate each other so much, or how Damon knows what to do to de-escalate their arguments. Of course, Caroline debriefed you on it sometime ago, but with all the craziness happening lately, it pretty much went over your head. 

It’s been hard these last few months. Only recently had Damon returned to you from four months after being considered dead, alongside Bonnie, as the other side collapsed with him in it. Those months had been the hardest of your life, and you doubted your ability to make it through them. Losing your best friend and your boyfriend was something you never thought you’d have to endure, yet it happened. Losing them almost killed you, too. 

For three years, you were clean. You hadn’t touched a single blade since you and Damon got serious. He gave you a reason to stop without even knowing it, and with a lot of patience with yourself, you managed to kick the addiction. After he died, though, when you couldn’t bear to live without him, you picked it back up. Part of you is pissed for falling back into your old ways, but the other part has convinced yourself it’s what you need to do to survive. 

When he came back unexpectedly, you were filled with just as much panic as you were joy. You had him back, but had relapsed majorly, and now have to recount your old steps into being sober again. It hasn’t been easy. 

It’s been a couple days since your last time, and while your skin’s no longer bright and swollen, it seems to beg for your attention. You have to plan it carefully, making sure Damon will be gone long enough that he won’t sense the fresh blood. When he grabs your wrists to kiss your face, you don’t want to flinch in slight pain, or let him pick up a chance in your heartbeat. 

It’s such a complicated addiction to have when dating a vampire, yet fighting the urges are so hard, sometimes you can’t help but give into them. 

The blades in the bathroom are ready for you when you enter. A brand new pack sits in the drawer. The boys won’t miss one or two. The one time Stefan did notice, you blabbered a quick lie about needing one to scrape a bit of food dried to the stovetop. He was in such a rush that day, he didn’t catch any lie, and you were able to smile and flee the scene a moment later. Since then, you make sure to hold onto the one you have until there’s enough to not see one missing. 

With everyone seemingly involved in the Enzo situation, you don’t bother to shut the door completely before dragging the blade across your skin. The boarding house is empty, and this bathroom in particular is tucked away nicely behind the stairs. You make a few scattered cuts and watch the blood seep from them. It always seems to calm you in the most grotesque way, and, quite ironically, gives you the perfect dopamine rush that raises your spirits despite the pain. It’s a terrible addiction but with a high reward… until you have to hide the evidence. 

That little reminder makes you sigh. Too many scars are hard to hide, and with Damon back, you have to be careful. It would break him to see you this way; that thought alone makes you put down the blade. For a moment longer, you stare at the tricking blood, committing the sight to memory to maybe fend off the next urge. To imagine the blood on your skin may convince yourself it’s there, and maybe you won’t cut the next time you’re so desperate. Maybe. 

You reach for a piece of toilet paper to dab the wounds. The bleeding needs to stop before you crave another scare. It’s so tempting, but-

“Hey,” Damon appears suddenly, peeking through the door. His eyes are narrowed, as if sensing something’s wrong. “What are you doing?”

You turn to face him and hold your hands around your back quickly. “Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” He opens the door a little wider, seeing the reflection of your hidden hands in the mirror. “Let me see your arms.”

“I’m okay.” Nervously, you pull down your sleeves to hide your wounds as much as possible. Your eyes meet the floor, unable to lie if you look into his blues.

“No, you’re not.” He argues, anxious to see your face; to not let you shy away and avoid his gaze. His approach makes your heart race, confirming his worst fears. “Let me see.”

“I thought you were leaving. I thought Stefan needed you.”

“He does, but he can wait.”

“But-”

“You’re my first priority. I can tell something’s up. Please,” he brushes a hair away from your face, “let me in.”

“Damon, I’m fine.”

“You’re hurting, and I can smell the blood, and I’m really trying hard not to freak out right now.”

You huff at the realization that he could smell it. You should’ve waited for him to be gone longer before breaking your skin. “Promise me you won’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Just promise me.” Tears well in your eyes, but you let them fall, unwilling to take your hands off your sleeves. 

“Y/N, I promise. I could never be mad. Just let me see it.”

Slowly, you release your sleeves, but leave the task of rolling them up to him. You can’t bear to do it yourself. Damon takes one hand gently and pulls the sleeve back. Upon seeing the numerous cuts, he pulls the other back with a little more vigor, but is still careful not to hurt you. He stares, unable to speak or move, as his heart breaks with every passing second. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper. His eyes meet yours and you finally break down into tears. 

Without a moment of hesitation, he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms protectively around your body. You feel safe in his arms, you always do. Damon has a way about him that always makes you feel safe, no matter what anyone else thinks of him. He’s loyal and understanding, and that is part of the reason you feel so horrible for not telling him this. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, now sobbing into his chest. 

Your heart beats and reminds him that you are alive. The cuts made into your skin weren’t deep enough to take you. The pain you have been feeling hasn’t swallowed you whole. He concentrates on your breathing, and your crying, and uses it to anchor himself before asking the thousands of questions flooding his mind. 

He pulls away, finally, and wipes your tears with his thumbs. His hands grip your shoulders with a gentle desperation, as if he’s afraid you could dissipate at any moment. 

“Y/N…”

“I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

“Did you mean for me to find out at all?”

Your heart feels heavy as you reply, “honestly, no.”

“Why not tell me, Y/N? You know I love you. If you’re hurting, I want to be there for you.”

“I know… I guess I just didn’t want to disappoint you? Some part of me was embarrassed about it, and I didn’t want you to see me differently because of it. I don’t know.” 

“Baby, there’s nothing you could do that’d ever make me love you less. Nothing that would ever make me feel a different way, or see you in another light.”

“I know. I know my feelings are totally irrational, I just… they’re fears.”

“I understand.” He kisses your forehead, then releases your shoulders to hold your hands and kiss them, too. “Hey, can you promise me something?”

“I can try.”

“Come to me the next time you’re feeling like you want to hurt yourself, okay? Let me help you through it.”

“But-”

“It doesn’t matter what’s going on, or who’s texting, I will drop anything and put you first. But you gotta let me in when you need it. Okay?”

“Okay.” You take a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Now,” he pauses, biting into his arm and holding it out for you to drink. His other hand meets the back of your head, stabilizing your neck to keep you comfortable. 

To his dismay, you refuse. You try to pull away, but his other hand prevents that, so you look down instead. “I can’t.”

“Y/N…”

“The scars are a reminder that I bleed. As soon as they fade away, the urge returns, but if they’re there for a little while, the urge is less strong. They’re kind of a comfort, I think. A reminder.”

“So you don’t want me to heal them?”

“I’d rather not. They don’t bother me too much. Do they bother you?”

You can see the hesitation in his eyes. He fights with himself, knowing the sight is a reminder of your pain, but understands their existence helps you heal. After a moment, he shakes his head. “No, baby, I only care that you’re safe.” He kisses them one more time. “Have you eaten much today?”

“Not really.”

“Well… do you mind if I make you something, even if it’s just something small, and then we can sit together on the couch? We’ll take today slow.”

“Okay. Wait, but what about Stefan?”

“Caroline can handle it. Then he’ll be in her debt and she’ll be happy about it,” he jokes.

You smile, appreciating his humor despite the somber mood hanging above both your heads. He’s the light in dark times, the much needed laugh that breaks the awkward silence. It’s part of the reason you fell for him so quickly. 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay. And thank you.”

He pulls you in to kiss your forehead, then reaches for your hand. “Of course.”

[alwynwitch]

The toxic dynamic between Marius and his maker Teskhamen

Teskhamen wanted Marius to be kidnapped, raped into vampire existence and to save the vampire tribe/become the keeper of Akasha and Enkhil. Marius seems only to blame the druid priest Mael for this. Teskhamen seems fascinating and friendly to Marius, but I'm here to argue he is manipulative as well. I will analyze their reunion in Prince Lestat.

Marius thinks all those years (2000 years!!!) that Teskhamen is dead. His maker never let him know he actually survived the burning. Or offer any help with Those Who Must Be Kept. But then he approaches Marius. Why? Of course, you have the vampire crisis, Amel coming into consciousness and the changed structure of the Talamasca. But I think there is another layer: for the first time ever, Marius wants to sit this crisis out. He wants to hole up with Daniel (hunting together, watching movies) and wait till the storm is over.

But then his old maker is suddenly on his doorstep (again, after 2000 years of silence!!!). Because Teskhamen has chosen Marius for the task to carry the burden of vampire survival and he is here to remind Marius of his duty and the purpose he was made for. He does it with a lot of flattering and making sure no difficult questions are asked. Though soft-spoken and friendly, this creature is full of manipulation and bullshit.

This is how he approaches Marius:

"Marius," he said. "My beloved, my savior of long ago, my friend." "I know you?' asked Marius politely. Even as he clapsed the hand he divined nothing but what the agreeable and open face reflected: friendship. No danger.

During the conversation he is constantly flattering Marius, saying he is his savior, that he never had known a being like him, he compares him to the sum of sunshine on marble floors. Just friendly? Or a tactic to de-escalate the situation so Marius will not be angry with him? And, even more importantly, will do what he wants him to do?

Marius is deeply emotional which shows how much this meeting means to him (so why did Teskhamen not get into touch earlier?):

Something quickened in Marius, something he had not felt in a very long time. [...] But Marius was changed. Changed forever.

Teskhamen tells his story, which includes the founding of the Talamasca in 748. But the important questions are not asked. Why did Teskhamen never tell Marius he was still alive? Why did he not share his knowledge with him? Why didn't he check in with him to see how the task of taking care of Akasha and Enkhil was going? Why didn't he offer his help? See if Marius needed anything to carry the burden? Clearly, it would have meant a lot to Marius. (And remember how Marius abuses Armand in a similar way, letting him believe he was dead for centuries.)

Marius doesn't ask these questions. Instead, he seems to react exactly like Teskhamen is hoping for:

Marius shuddered. He had so hoped somehow this would all pass without his active acknowledgment, that somehow his time of holding the survival of the tribe in his hands was past. Had he not cared for the Mother and Father for two millennia? But he knew now he could not remain on the sidelines any longer.

No, Marius, you only cared for Akasha and Enkhil for 2000 years, of course it is not enough. The vampire Teskhamen choose you to carry the burden and you cannot suddenly step out, take a break or retire. This is why your maker has shown up now. Marius probably doesn't notice, because of his vanity, need to be in control and savior complex (that Teskhamen is exploiting skillfully).

But Marius realizes:

"And you're not one of us?" Marius asked. "You are not coming yourself?"

No, Marius, he is not coming. This is not an emotional reunion after which you two will fight the world together. He is here to remind you of your duty, the task he put you on 2000 years ago. Not to get involved himself. Especially Daniel is grilling him over this and see how Teskhamen responds:

"We ourselves made no decision." "Because you didn't have to," said Daniel. "Isn't that so?" Teskhamen shrugged. He made a little gesture of agreement with his hands. [...] "I don't know," said Teskhamen softly. [...] Teskhamen put up his hands again but this time defensively. "Daniel," he said gently. "I honestly do not know."

No, he doesn't know, he doesn't want to make difficult decisions, he is just here to make sure Marius will act and make the decisions for him and the whole vampire tribe. Then he pulls a last trick, telling Marius about the ghost of his old friend Raymond Gallant:

Marius was astonished. He was almost moved to tears. "Oh yes, Marius, you will see your beloved Raymond again, I assure you," said Teskhamen. [...] "But allow us our old caution, our old passivity, even now." "I understand," said Marius. "You want us to come together as a tribe, the very same thing that Benji wants. You want us to do the very best that we can in the face of this challenge - without your intervention."

Teskhamen uses emotional manipulation to get Marius in a soft spot to agree with everything he wants. Even though just before Teskhamen couldn't defend his position of passivity to Daniel. If Raymond means so much for Marius, why didn't he bring them into contact earlier? Why not right now? No, it seems like there is a condition for this meeting. Marius first has to play the savior once again.

"You're a splendid being, Marius," said Teskhamen.

Of course, Marius is a splendid being, a good soldier, who will once again carry out your wishes and take on the burden of vampire existence. This is the reason why you made him a vampire and you will make sure he stays on this path. While you can just watch and observe.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I feel myself having so much less patience these days, and I don't like it.

Patience and compassion and kindness are things that must be cultivated like tender plants - they grow by the inch and die by the foot.

Seeing into someone's heart is something that takes a little effort, but the way to do it is by reframing your outlook, like you might adjust your vision to see through water. There are layers to a person, and you have to look past what they say or do on the surface in order to get to their true motivations.

And it takes patience and holding space for people, because they are used to operating in an unsafe environment. It's like when you go to the pond, you're not likely to see frogs right away. You might need to sit quietly for a half hour before the frogs re-emerge and float to the surface. But once you see them, suddenly there are frogs everywhere! You just had to wait until your mind allowed you to take them in. People's vulnerabilities and intentions are the same way. You might need to wait a while until the person is sure you are safe to be around, or they might have been exhibiting all of those vulnerabilities and motivations pretty openly; you just couldn't tell until you knew what you were looking for.

This gets much, much harder to do when you yourself don't feel safe, especially when you aren't (or feel like you aren't) being seen as human. You also (obviously) must see the other person as equally human to yourself, or this doesn't work. Perhaps a broken, deeply flawed person; but a person nonetheless.

I work in the domestic violence field, and so I end up talking to a lot of abusers in my professional life on behalf of my clients. I've found that it helps a lot to be kind. Why? Not because it's deserved, but because it's unexpected. They come into the situation ready to fight and argue, and instead, I speak to them kindly and explain why what my clients are asking for is in everyone's best interests. This seems to deflate them pretty immediately. They come into the situation thinking I'm the boss level for "fights with my ex (or whatever)" and then I listen. I take them out of earshot of my client, I let them vent (which helps me figure out what they actually want) and then I patiently explain our position and how we're offering to resolve the situation. And you know what? It works. A lot of the time, they were expecting me to treat them like a monster. But they're not a monster; they're a person who has done some inexcusable and horrific things, but they remain a person. I think about both my abusive exes, and the truth is that they're both people I loved, and loved for a reason. I wouldn't want someone else to hurt them (even if it was in cruel words only) just because they hurt me. Sometimes, the abuser is the father (or mother) of the client's children. There is typically always anger, but what good does it do for me to vent that anger for my client? Who does it help? Nobody. If we can't agree, then fine. I will do my job of asking the tough questions without mercy. But before that? Far better to de-escalate if possible.

Another conflict resolution thing: you have to remove the aggressive third parties that are angry on one side or the other's behalf. They tend to aggravate the party and escalate the situation by talking in the person's ear and saying how unfair this is and generally making it about their own feelings rather than problem solving.

But here too, finding out where the third parties who have involved themselves in the situation actually want is critical to diffusing this as well. They are people who are righteously (at least in their mind) angry on behalf of one of the parties because they love them and this has activated their protective side. And sometimes people really do need an advocate, yes. But sometimes (a lot of times) these third parties actually get in the way of de-escalation and problem solving.

All of this requires patience, effort, cultivation. And I work hard to do that. But lately my patience has been worn thin by too many people seeing me as subhuman, and it's really starting to wear on me.

[theyluvangel]

P1H reaction to you yelling at your little sibling in your native language!

Request: Hey gurlie p1h with you yelling at a sibling in your native language whilst visiting???? Or maybe arguing - like fully childish arguing - with like a ten year old sibling whilst babysitting with you??? All the love xx

S/n means siblings name and the siblings gender is not specified

Scenario:

You and (member) were babysitting your little sibling (sister or brother) while your parents were running some errands. (member) was beyond thrilled to get to meet your little sibling, but he was shocked to find that your sibling had been on a streak of misbehaving all day. You had put on a movie to hopefully entertain your sibling, since nothing else seemed to be working. About half way through the movies, your sibling throws a pillow at the TV. "S/n! Why did you do that!" You shout at your sibling, while (member) sits there silently, literally too stunned to speak. "I hate this movie! You don't even know me!" Your sibling yells whilst stomping their feet. "S/n, I have had enough of your attitude today! You have been rude to me, and rude to my boyfriend! This is not okay!" You shout back in response, using you and your siblings native language.

Keeho:

completely baffled by your siblings behavior

even more baffled when you used your native language

would have no clue what you said, but he'd agree with you and take your side regardless

if you and your siblings started full scale arguing I think he'd try to de-escalate the situation, but he'd be so confused

he doesn't want to make anything worse so at the same time I think he'd kinda sit back and watch

he'd just be shocked

Theo:

he'd probably laugh when your sibling started misbehaving, thinking it was a joke until he realized how upset you were

He'd attempt to calm you down first, and attempt to get you to speak a language he understands

he lowkey got really scared when you yelled in your native language

I think he'd try to help the situation by offering your sibling something else to entertain them like a game or toy

he'd also try to make light of the situation, his goal becoming to make you and your sibling laugh

Jiung

he'd take a step back

he wouldn't want to get too involved because it's not his sibling, and he doesn't want to make anything worse

he'd try to understand what you said, which wouldn't work for him if your native language isn't Korean or English

once you calm down or discipline your sibling, his focus would be on calming you down and making sure you're okay

Intak

scared pt.2

intak just wants everyone to get along and be happy, so when your sibling started acting out he got kinda upset

he wouldn't want anyone to yell or scream, but he's to scared to try and tell you and your sibling to calm down

similar to Jiung, he'd want to make sure that you were okay after having to deal with your sibling

and similar to Theo he'd want to do something to cheer up you and your sibling

Soul

so confused

he'd probably start yelling at your sibling in his alien language that he does

he'd try to distract you both by doing something funny

he's a silly guy so he'd do something funny to entertain your sibling, and to calm you down

afterward he'd ask you to translate what you said to your sibling

Jongseob

he'd stand behind you and go "mhm" in a sassy tone once you finished yelling at your sibling

he'd also probably find the whole thing kinda funny

he'd tell you to stop fighting and he'd come up with something else for your sibling to do

honestly he would probably be the most helpful in this situation

Hope you enjoy @chloverrr !! xx

[underthewaterlily]

✰⋆yellowjacket!reader x civilwar!spiderman✰⋆

Warnings: None other than some very mild cursing

A/N: No one asked for this, but I was watching AntMan when I had this idea and could not get it out of my head.

..............................................................................................................................

After defeating Darren Cross, Hank realizes that Scott will eventually need some form of backup, but it can't be Hope because he's not ready to possibly lose her. So Hank does his thing (similar to how he found Scott) and discovers you.

He knows that the mantle of Wasp could only be filled by Hope since her mother was the original. So he decides to make his own yellow jacket suit completely different than the original. It's primarily black with yellow accents, has two wings on the back, a pair of laser shooting wrist cuffs (affectionately named 'stingers' because of their ability to deliver sting-like pain), and, of course, loaded with Pym Particle.

He finds that you have the intelligence and wit it would take to be the yellow jacket, but you have all the compassion and empathy the previous yellow jacket severely lacked. The only downside is that you are definitely on the young side, so he would only contact/recruit you if it was absolutely necessary.

Welllllll, then civil war happens, and Scott is called to arms by freaking Captain America, so now Hank knows shit is going to get serious, and Scotts going to need all the help he can get (even if that help is from a severely under-trained teenager).

He quickly sets up a test for you involving a staged robbery at the gas station you were in to see if you're ready. You manage to outsmart the robbers, de-escalate the situation, and get all the hostages out. The very next morning after passing the test, you were at Hanks's house greeted by a very enthusiastic Scott (who keeps calling you "sidekick" instead of your real name) and a very pissed Hope, who can not believe her father is giving the yellow jacket suit to a "pre-schooler."

You have three weeks to prepare yourself for the big fight. You have been told of all the possible terrible outcomes of the fight, but you're not backing down. You've been given the opportunity to do something right, and you will not turn it down. Also, you get to work with THE Avengers (well... half of them, anyway).

Right before the big fight at the airport, Hank uses his influence to gain intel and finds out Tony has recruited Spider-Man for his team.

When you leave for the fight, you expect Hank to give you a big pep talk. Instead, he gives you two rules...

#1. Stay away from that spider boy... if Stark recruited him, then he's obviously no good.

#2. Don't die

You could make no promises about rule #2, but rule #1 sounded incredibly easy... or so you thought.

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Medcember 2024 Day 4

Adrenaline

Summary: Modern AU. After a camping trip has gone horribly wrong, Astrid fights the medical team that wants to treat her. All she wants is to see Hiccup.

Warnings: Blood, Hospital, non-consensual drug use

Rating: Mature

Dead Dove: No

Words: 556

Prompt: Sedation

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Characters: Astrid

Whumpee: Astrid

Whumper: /

Pairing: Hiccstrid

Author’s Notes: Thought it was time to whump Astrid again. (Because I definitely didn't do that yesterday.)

Enjoy!

-XOXOX-

The last thing Astrid wants is to be sedated.

"Please, ma'am! Calm down, we're only trying to help!" The doctor in charge of her tries to tell her, but she's not listening.

"I don't need help! I drove us here!" The young woman argues as she tries to fight her way off the bed they put her on. She’s trying to pull her arms free, legs kicking because she’s afraid somebody will grab them, too. She refuses to lose.

"You're bleeding, please let us take care of you!"

"I don't care, I need to see my husband!" The husband she drove through every red light to get here after a simple camping trip went horribly wrong.

They’ve had them hundreds of times, the two of them loving to be out together in nature. Just them and no one and nothing else. Never before has anything ever gone wrong.

They were out in the woods, far away from civilization, to celebrate their anniversary. Some ignorant family was agitating a "cute and friendly" dragon that was actually showing signs of aggression. And Hiccup, her dear problem-solving husband and local dragon expert, tried to get involved and de-escalate the situation. Instead the family escalated it even further by yelling at him to mind his own business and the dragon, a Gronckle, attacked in retaliation.

It was like trying to pet a bear. They may look like oversized pugs, but they aren't dogs. They're dragons and he proved himself as one that day.

As a matter of fact, even strange dogs shouldn't be trusted! Astrid blames the internet. Just because it claims that Gronckles are the friendliest of all dragon species, doesn't mean they won't maul well-meaning husbands because someone decided that approaching grizzly bear-sized dragons was a very good idea.

"Please, ma'am. If you don't calm yourself, I'll be forced to use chemical restraints," the doctor tells her again as she and her team of nurses try to stop her from leaving.

It's not that Astrid came out of the skirmish unscathed. She knows of the deep clawmarks in her arms that are bleeding profusely, she got them by wrapping her arms around Hiccup in an effort to pull him out of harm's way. He would've been gutted if she hadn't.

But she didn't feel any of her injuries as she carried him all the way back to the parking lot. Didn't feel them as she put him in the backseat of their car and tried to make him wear a seatbelt as best as she could. Didn't feel them as she drove him to the hospital, wiping furiously at her eyes so her vision didn't blur as she sped down the road. Fighting her wannabe medical team, she can still hardly feel them.

"Hiccup needs me!" It's when she almost hits a nurse in the face, though entirely without intending to, that a needle with a sedative is brought forth. Astrid can feel the puncture, can feel the burn of the liquid being pushed inside of her and for a moment there's panic before it quickly begins to work.

In her last moments of wakefullness, her thoughts are with her husband and her last image of him. Hiccup covered from head to toe in blood, unconscious, and wheeled off in a bed to the first available operating room.

[professorstrauss]

Behaviour

In the years I've been teaching, I have seen the behaviour of teenagers gradually decline to the point where I have felt genuinely scared of them.

But I have a job to do, and I can't do it with these little shits distracting the rest of the class.

So here I am, faking authority, chewing out the three worst trouble-makers in year 11. The final bell has gone for the day, and I can see how pissed off they are at being kept behind, but if I let them get away with bad behaviour then they will continue being disruptive, and I will have a fight on my hands every lesson.

All three boys are taller than me, and that doesn't help, either.

I instruct them to sit on separate tables, and copy and complete the information from the board into their books.

Two of them comply immediately - obviously recognising that the quicker they get it done, the quicker they can go home.

The third boy - Austin - doesn't sit down. He's glaring at me, and I expect he's probably going to grab his bag and walk out, any second now.

"Austin," I say, firmly, "sit down, and get on with the work."

The other two look up to see how this is going to play out.

My heart is hammering against my ribs. This boy does not respect my authority, and there is nothing more I can say or do that will make him do anything he doesn't want to.

"I don't have to do anything you tell me," he sneers.

At this point I don't care if he walks out; I'm starting to feel oddly threatened.

"You're just a pathetic faggot who gets off on on telling people what to do," his face is twisted into an ugly, aggressive expression.

It isn't exactly a secret that I'm gay; I wear a pride pin on my lanyard, and have a small flag pinned over my desk.

I know I have to come down hard on him for using the f-slur, but right now I just really want him to leave.

"Get out," I command, in the steadiest voice I can muster.

The other two boys have stopped writing, and are eagerly watching the drama unfold.

Austin walks towards me and I start to feel a bit sick.

I'm fairly confident that he won't actually lay a hand on me.

Right up until he does.

He pushes me square in the chest, and a combination of his strength and my unreadiness result in me falling backwards against the board.

And then he's right up in my face.

"I bet you think about fucking students," he accuses, face so close to mine I can smell his breath - a combination of sickly sweetness and cigarette smoke.

I am absolutely not attracted to students. If anything, I prefer men older than myself.

"Get away from me," I manage to croak out, but I know how weak my voice sounds. And damnit, I'm shaking.

"If I fucked you, you'd probably enjoy it," and he's making the most aggressive eye contact I've ever seen.

I can hear the other two boys sniggering, and that doesn't fill me with hope - they aren't going to talk him out of any bad choices he's about to make.

"Don't," is all I can say, but then he's gripping my arm and shoving me forward until my legs hit the first desk, and my body folds over it.

He barks an order at the others to lock the door, and then I feel his forearm pushing down on the back of my neck, and his groin pressing hard against my backside.

Surely he wouldn't dare. My mind is racing as I try to think of what I can say or do to de-escalate the situation.

He has me well pinned with only one arm and his body, and the other hand is trying to get at the waistband of my trousers.

He's serious.

I fling my elbow back and hit him pretty ineffectually against the ribs.

"Hold his arms down," Austin instructs the others.

"Don't!" I shout, hopeful that these two won't be stupid enough to get involved with an actual crime.

Unfortunately it turns out they are easily led, and to be honest, given their behaviour in the classroom, I shouldn't have expected them to give any thought to the consequences of their actions.

They each take an arm, pulling on them painfully hard, while Austin gets his hands under my waist and easily defeats the fly of my trousers, tugging them and my underpants down.

I'm in shock. I can't believe it has gone this far.

I can feel air against my exposed buttocks, and despite the humiliation, I hope Austin is just going to laugh, snap a photo, and leave. But I can hear him pulling down his own trousers.

"Don't," I try again. "Don't do it. Austin, seriously, please, you will regret this."

But he's pulling my butt cheeks apart, and I can feel his breath down there for a moment before he spits, rubbing it against my arsehole with a sickening wet noise.

Then his hands are on my hips and I can feel his cock pressing into me.

I don't fight it.

For one thing, I'm more likely to get hurt if I struggle, and for another; the bastard will probably enjoy it more if I do.

I concentrate on breathing steadily through my nose, keeping my eyes and mouth shut, and trying to think about anything other than what is happening.

Then, the boy holding my right arm changes his grip, and I feel the warm, moist head of his cock poking against my closed lips.

I turn my face down towards the table top, but another hand grips the back of my head and forces my face back towards him.

"Yeah, suck his cock," Austin commands, only slightly out of breath despite his frantic thrusting into me.

The hand on the back of my head tightens in my hair and jerks back. My mouth opens involuntarily as I gasp against the pain, and the head of the cock forces its way in.

"Fuck, yeah," Austin snarls, "I bet you fucking love this, you pedo."

I can't breathe enough through my nose, and the cock in my mouth is choking me. Panic starts to take hold, and I can no longer lie still and wait for it to be over. I strain against the hands holding me down, trying to twist and buck.

"You're nothing. You're just holes for us to cum in," Austin continues to berate me, thrusting far harder than necessary; clearly more intent on hurting me than anything else.

But it's the cock in my mouth that's causing me the most pain. I gag as he forces himself to the back of my throat. He's dropped my arm altogether, though I can't use it to do anything useful, and now he's practically suffocating me against his crotch. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can only manage a pathetic whine, and when the boy holding my head finally pulls back so I can gasp a desperate breath, I can't help the sob that escapes.

"No, please!" I beg just before he forces his way back in. He rocks my skull back and forth, casually fucking my mouth.

"Ugh, yeah, that's so good. I'm gonna cum, and you're going to swallow it all down."

I'm bloody well not.

Warm, sour fluid fills my mouth and throat, and I retch, feeling it escaping through my nasal cavity, and out of my mouth.

"You're gonna take my load in your guts like a good whore," Austin finally sounds out of breath as he pounds through my aching muscles. He presses tight up against me, and I can feel his breath on my shoulder.

Then his cock is twitching inside me, and he is otherwise still.

"Fuck, I've got cum on my trousers," the one who raped my mouth complains.

"Yeah, that's normal for you, innit?" The other one laughs.

Austin pulls out of me, and I suddenly feel the full sting of the assault. I wonder if he'll allow me to redress, but I'm still in too much shock to move.

"You guys go, I'll deal with this," he instructs his peers.

When the other two have left the room, I feel Austin's hand gently stroking my still exposed arse.

"You might be a shit teacher, but you make a great whore," he whispers. I see him move around around me and he shifts into my direct line of sight. I can't look at him, and try to turn my head, but he reaches out to hold my face still.

"Next time you think about keeping me behind after school, I'm going to know it's because you want more of this," he smirks.

Then he picks up his bag and leaves. All three student exercise books are still out on the desks, and a quick glance at the clock tells me the cleaner will be here in half an hour.

I take a deep breath. Stand up. Adjust my clothes. Put their books away. Then take a pile of mid term assessments from the side, and sit down with a green pen to mark them.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

When Wifey talks about her union organizing work, she talks about prospective contacts on a 1-5 scoring system. On the one end you have Conservative David who is considered a long term cultivation possibility, but someone who must be approached strategically and adaptively. And on the other end you have Leftist Jane who is not only already jazzed about the union, but seems like possible future leadership material because she has a great rapport with her department and solid social skills. How someone falls on the spectrum tells you how to approach, how much time/resources to invest in someone, and what expectations might be reasonable to have of your contact.

I think that it can be hard to let go of the instinct that we don't want to coddle people when they say stuff we know to be anti-labor. Especially when it's rare for more broad spectrum social skill building to focus on conflict resolution (as opposed to conflict avoidance). But conflict resolution isn't just for fights! It's for any time that you and another person are on different sides of an issue and need to reconcile yourselves somehow. Community organizing involves a lot of that, as well as rapport building, learning to hold the people around you in unconditional regard in ways they receive without sliding into their ideological camp, and how to de-escalate a situation where someone is becoming agitated.

And if you feel anxious about those things, don't be! It feels scary and threatening because you weren't taught how to do it. But if you join a program like a union where they WILL, once you start to get the hang of it, that sense of mastery translates into less anxiety doing the thing! It's always easier to do something you have a lot of tips and tricks to manage weirdness for right? Same thing here.

So honesly? If you're someone who wants to get into organizing and doesn't know how, maybe just start by reaching out to local unions, social coaches, peer group facilitators, etc and see if any of them would teach a class if you got a group together! Learn as a community how to talk to each other and share space in ways that make it feel easier, not harder, to do the work that needs doing.

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

[genyukandojo]

NYC's Best Self-Defense Classes for Personal Safety

Living in a bustling metropolis like New York City offers countless opportunities, but it also comes with its share of safety concerns. In a city that never sleeps, being equipped with self-defense skills can boost your confidence and enhance your personal safety. Whether you're a lifelong resident or new to the city, self-defense classes can empower you to protect yourself in various situations. This comprehensive guide highlights NYC's best self-defense classes and provides insights into what makes each program unique.

Why Take a Self-Defense Class?

Self-defense classes are about more than just learning how to fend off an attacker. They help improve physical fitness, mental resilience, and situational awareness. Here are some key benefits:

Increased Confidence

Knowing you can handle challenging situations can boost your self-esteem.

Improved Physical Fitness

Many self-defense techniques involve cardio, strength training, and flexibility.

Situational Awareness

Classes teach you how to recognize potential threats and avoid dangerous situations.

Stress Relief

Practicing self-defense can be a therapeutic way to release stress and tension.

Practical Skills

You’ll learn techniques that are applicable in real-world scenarios, ensuring you’re prepared for emergencies.

Top Self-Defense Classes in NYC

Here are some of the most highly-rated self-defense programs in New York City, catering to various needs and preferences:

1. Krav Maga Academy

Location: Multiple locations, including Midtown Manhattan

Overview: Krav Maga is a practical and effective self-defense system developed for the Israeli military. The Krav Maga Academy offers classes for all skill levels, from beginners to advanced practitioners. The program focuses on real-world scenarios and teaches you how to neutralize threats quickly and efficiently.

Highlights:

Emphasis on situational awareness

Realistic training scenarios

Classes for adults and children

Cost: $150-$200 per month for unlimited classes

2. NYC Self-Defense and Fitness

Location: Chelsea

Overview: Combining fitness and self-defense, this program is ideal for those looking to stay in shape while learning practical techniques. Classes cover striking, grappling, and escapes, making it suitable for people of all fitness levels.

Highlights:

Small class sizes for personalized attention

Women-only classes available

Integration of fitness routines

Cost: $25-$35 per class or monthly memberships starting at $120

3. Anderson’s Martial Arts Academy

Location: Lower Manhattan

Overview: Anderson’s offers a wide range of martial arts and self-defense classes, including Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Jeet Kune Do, and Filipino Kali. Their self-defense program incorporates techniques from multiple disciplines, ensuring a well-rounded skill set.

Highlights:

Experienced instructors with diverse martial arts backgrounds

Classes for all age groups

Flexible scheduling

Cost: $180-$250 per month

4. Gracie Barra Manhattan

Location: Midtown Manhattan

Overview: Specializing in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Gracie Barra focuses on techniques for overcoming larger and stronger opponents. While primarily a martial arts academy, their self-defense classes are tailored for real-world situations.

Highlights:

Strong emphasis on technique and leverage

Family-friendly environment

Women-only classes available

Cost: $150-$200 per month

5. Girls’ Fight Back

Location: Mobile workshops across NYC

Overview: Designed specifically for women, Girls’ Fight Back offers empowering workshops that teach practical self-defense skills. These sessions focus on de-escalation techniques, physical defense, and confidence-building.

Highlights:

Female-led instruction

Focus on real-life scenarios

Workshops available for schools, workplaces, and community groups

Cost: Pricing varies by workshop

6. Fit Hit NYC

Location: Flatiron District

Overview: Fit Hit NYC combines fitness training with self-defense techniques to create an engaging and effective program. Their classes focus on striking, escaping holds, and defending against armed attackers.

Highlights:

Fitness-oriented approach

Private and group sessions available

State-of-the-art facilities

Cost: $175-$250 per month

7. Hybrid Self-Defense NYC

Location: Midtown Manhattan

Overview: This program merges elements of Krav Maga, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Muay Thai to provide comprehensive self-defense training. The curriculum includes both physical techniques and psychological strategies for staying safe.

Highlights:

Multi-disciplinary approach

Beginner-friendly classes

Regular workshops and seminars

Cost: $160-$220 per month

Choosing the Right Self-Defense Class

With so many options available, selecting the right class can feel overwhelming. Here are some factors to consider:

Goals

Are you looking for general self-defense skills, fitness, or advanced martial arts training?

Instructor Expertise

Research the instructors’ credentials and experience to ensure high-quality training.

Class Environment

Visit the facility to observe the class atmosphere. A supportive and inclusive environment is essential.

Location and Schedule

Choose a class that’s conveniently located and fits your schedule.

Cost

Determine your budget and compare pricing across programs. Many schools offer trial classes or introductory packages.

Specialization

If you’re looking for a specific focus, such as women-only classes or armed defense, prioritize schools that cater to those needs.

Additional Benefits of Self-Defense Training

Aside from personal safety, self-defense training offers several secondary benefits:

Improved Mental Focus

Training requires concentration, which can enhance your mental clarity and decision-making skills.

Stronger Community Connections

Many self-defense schools foster a sense of camaraderie and support among students.

Enhanced Reflexes

Regular practice improves your reaction times and physical coordination.

Stress Reduction

Physical activity and the empowerment of learning self-defense can reduce anxiety and stress.

Final Thoughts

Investing in self-defense training is a proactive step toward ensuring your safety and well-being in New York City. With diverse options ranging from Krav Maga to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there’s a program for everyone. Consider your goals, budget, and schedule to find the class that best suits your needs. By committing to regular training, you’ll not only gain valuable Women's self-defense skills but also enjoy improved fitness, confidence, and peace of mind. Stay safe, stay prepared, and take the first step toward empowerment today.

[ambersky0319]

Hiii for the OC ask game ~ 11, 16, 20, and 26 for Evanna?? (or anyone you want to talk about, shes just my favorite!)

Hiya!!!! I shall talk about Evanna (because she is also my favorite!) and a newer OC - Deveit(he/him)/Paise(she/her) (I'll refer to her as Paise with she/her pronouns throughout the post)! ^^

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Evanna

Okay. Truthfully. Very blurry memories. I remember she was originally from this winged-wolf-shapeshifting story bit I do not remember mich else from that. And then it was reading more fantasy stories, and thinking about tropes I liked and ones I wanted to put a twist on. Dunno if there was one singular inspiratiom for her!

Paise

My inspiration for Paise was Janus in my fanfic "You're Something Else". I really liked the concept there, just not how I executed it, and after a while I realized the story would just be *better* with some original characters.

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?

Evanna

Evanna didn't really know her father - he vanished before she was old enough to remember him, and others in Tongyi nwver told herbmuch about him - mostly because they could not. Compared to his wife, he was rather forgettable, only being remembered for how he supposedly abandoned his family. Her mother, though? Oh, Evanna despised this woman. Her mother wanted full control over Evanna, and applied the way she ruled to parenting. It did not go over well. When she died, Evanna "mourned" - or rather, she and Erin celebrated in a quiet corner of the kingdom because she could not stop smiling over the sudden freedom she had and the council at the time would have been livid.

Paise

Paise has a complicated relationship with her parents. She loves them both dearly, and they her. They adore Paise, actually, and when she wants something they do their best to accommodate her. She wanted to transition? They got her in touch with someone who could help her transition. She wanted to learn magic? They found numerous sorcerers to teach her. She wanted to explore the world? They put her in charge of trade agreements and negotiations. However, there is one point which they disagree, and it's concerning marriage. Paise is not opposed to marriage, but she would rather marry someone she loves. Her parents want her to marry someone who could make their kingdom stronger, and so have been arranging meetings and possible marriages for a long time now. It has sparked many arguments between them, and Paise spends less and less time at home because of it.

20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?

Evanna

Two weapons, technically! The first is her magic. Having the ability to create illusions is a powerful tactic, and is her first choice - it doesn't cause actual harm but it permits her allies an upper hand, and if she knows the opponent intimitely, she can fuck with their head a bit. Her second weapon is an axe - if she does get directly involved in a fight, she weilds a one-handed axe (think. along nnt Escanor's axe but MUCH smaller scale).

Paise

Paise is not much of a fighter. She doesn't like fighting. However, she has been taught some self defense and - specifically - how to use magic in a fight. She prefers de-escalation, though, and so instead of directly confronting people she will temporarily transform them.

26) What flower do you associate your OC with?

I... don't really associate flowers with my ocs actually 😅 I do associate Paise with dusk though

Thank you for the ask!!! This was super fun!!

[careforcetraining]

Breakaway Techniques: What Is Breakaway Training

When facing challenging situations where personal safety is at risk, knowing how to protect yourself effectively can make all the difference. Breakaway techniques are vital tools that enable individuals to disengage from a dangerous or aggressive situation safely. But what exactly is breakaway training, and how can it help? Whether you're working in healthcare, education, or social care, understanding breakaway techniques can be essential for maintaining a safe environment.

Introduction to Breakaway Techniques

In today's fast-paced world, personal safety is a priority, especially for individuals in professions that involve direct interaction with the public. When facing an aggressive or threatening situation, knowing how to break away safely can prevent harm and de-escalate conflict.

Imagine you're in a confined space, and someone grabs your arm aggressively. What do you do? This is where breakaway techniques come in, offering practical methods to free yourself from physical contact while ensuring minimal harm to both parties. These techniques are easy to learn, apply quickly, and are effective in a wide variety of situations.

What Is Breakaway Training?

Breakaway training is a specialised form of instruction designed to teach individuals how to respond when physically attacked or restrained. It’s not about fighting back but about safely disengaging from harmful situations. Through structured training, individuals learn techniques to escape various holds, grips, or attacks in a calm and controlled manner.

By focusing on effective self-defence methods that cause minimal injury, breakaway training is particularly useful in environments where conflict or aggression may arise, such as hospitals, care homes, schools, and other public service sectors.

Why Is Breakaway Training Important?

The importance of breakaway training cannot be overstated, particularly for professionals who frequently deal with unpredictable behaviour. Whether you're working in mental health services or providing care for vulnerable individuals, breakaway techniques can be critical in protecting yourself and others.

These techniques help to:

Reduce the risk of injury: By learning safe disengagement methods, you lower the likelihood of physical harm to both yourself and the aggressor.

De-escalate situations: Quick and calm reactions can prevent aggressive situations from spiralling out of control.

Boost confidence: Knowing how to handle an aggressive situation can improve your ability to remain calm under pressure.

Ensure compliance with workplace safety standards: Many employers require breakaway training as part of health and safety protocols.

Who Can Benefit from Breakaway Techniques?

Breakaway training is useful for a broad audience. While healthcare professionals are often the primary group that benefits from this form of training, it’s not limited to them.

Healthcare Workers: Nurses, doctors, and mental health professionals may face aggression in high-stress environments.

Social Care Workers: Those providing support to vulnerable individuals can find themselves in difficult situations that require quick action.

Teachers and Educators: In schools, particularly those with behavioural units, teachers may need to manage confrontational behaviour.

Security Personnel: Whether at an event or in a hospital, security officers can use breakaway techniques to manage physical altercations.

Customer Service Workers: Workers in high-pressure customer-facing roles may occasionally encounter aggressive individuals and need to protect themselves.

Different Types of Breakaway Techniques

Breakaway techniques vary in their complexity, and the type you use depends on the situation you're facing. Some techniques include:

Wrist Release: This technique helps free you from an aggressive grip on your wrist. The motion involves quick movement towards the aggressor’s thumb, as it's the weakest part of the hand.

Arm Holds: In situations where someone grabs your arm, specific movements can loosen their grip, allowing you to break free.

Body Grabs: Techniques to break free from body grabs include shifting your weight, using leverage, and redirecting the aggressor’s energy.

Hair Pull Releases: A sensitive and vulnerable area, there are methods to protect yourself and quickly free your hair from a hold.

Basic Breakaway Techniques: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here, we'll explore some basic techniques you can practice to prepare for real-life situations.

Wrist Release

Identify the Weak Point: When your wrist is grabbed, focus on the thumb area, as it is the weakest part of the hand.

Twist Your Arm: Rotate your arm in the direction of the thumb.

Quick Pull: Pull your arm back in a swift motion while stepping back to increase distance.

Arm Hold Escape

Shift Your Weight: If someone grabs your arm, move your body weight toward their hand.

Counter-Leverage: Use their grip to your advantage, pushing down on the wrist joint for a quick release.

Body Grab Escape

Stabilise Your Stance: Lower your centre of gravity by bending your knees slightly.

Redirect the Aggressor’s Force: Shift your weight to push the aggressor’s body off balance and break free.

Advanced Breakaway Techniques

While basic techniques are essential, more advanced breakaway methods exist for high-risk situations. These involve:

Multiple attackers: Techniques that allow you to escape from more than one aggressor.

Weapon threats: Disarming and escaping when faced with a weapon like a knife or blunt object.

High-pressure environments: Techniques designed for confined spaces or during high-risk encounters.

Training in these advanced methods typically requires professional instruction and regular practice to maintain effectiveness.

The Role of Body Language in Breakaway Training

Body language plays a crucial role in both avoiding and disengaging from confrontations. When facing an aggressive individual, your stance, facial expressions, and hand movements can communicate calmness or escalate a situation.

De-escalation through Body Language

Open Stance: Stand with open hands and feet slightly apart, signalling that you are not a threat.

Calm Voice: Speaking in a low, steady tone can calm the aggressor and give you time to prepare for any needed defence.

Breakaway Techniques in Different Sectors

Different sectors apply breakaway techniques in unique ways. For example:

Healthcare: Used to safely disengage from patients who may be acting out due to distress or illness.

Education: Teachers use these techniques in schools to manage disruptive students without causing harm.

Public Service: Police and security personnel often combine breakaway techniques with other forms of conflict resolution and restraint.

Breakaway Training vs. Restraint Training

While both breakaway and restraint training focus on managing aggressive behaviour, the key difference lies in their approach. Breakaway training is defensive and non-violent, aiming to safely disengage. Restraint training, on the other hand, is more about controlling or immobilising an aggressor.

Common Misconceptions About Breakaway Techniques

Some people think that breakaway techniques are the same as martial arts. However, these techniques are designed for non-combat situations and focus on disengagement rather than fighting.

The Legal Framework and Safety Regulations

It's important to understand the legal aspects surrounding the use of breakaway techniques. Most countries and employers have specific guidelines and safety regulations that dictate when and how these techniques can be used.

How to Find Breakaway Training Near You

If you’re interested in learning breakaway techniques, there are many local and national providers offering courses. A simple online search with terms like "breakaway training near me" can help you locate a certified trainer.

Online Resources for Breakaway Training

While in-person training is ideal, many organisations now offer online breakaway training courses. These can serve as a good introduction to the techniques before practical instruction.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Breakaway techniques are valuable tools for anyone who may face aggressive behaviour. They offer a safe and effective way to disengage from harmful situations. Whether you're a healthcare worker, teacher, or simply looking to protect yourself, breakaway training can boost your confidence, keep you safe, and provide peace of mind.

FAQs

1. Is breakaway training only for professionals? No, breakaway training is useful for anyone who may encounter aggressive situations, including parents, carers, and public service workers.

2. How long does it take to learn breakaway techniques? Basic breakaway techniques can be learned in a few hours, but regular practice is necessary to maintain effectiveness.

3. Are breakaway techniques legal to use? Yes, as long as they are used defensively and in line with workplace policies and local laws.

4. Can children learn breakaway techniques? Yes, children can be taught age-appropriate breakaway techniques, especially in school environments where they might face bullying or aggressive behaviour.

5. What is the difference between breakaway and self-defence? Breakaway focuses on disengaging and escaping from dangerous situations, while self-defence often involves physical fighting to neutralise a threat.

[thesenseisays]

Self Defense Classes VS. Martial Arts Training

You're searching for a way to ensure your own safety and that of your loved ones. You want to learn how to defend yourself, but you don't know where to start. Do you take self-defense classes or train in the martial arts? Good question. It can be difficult to determine the differences between these two disciplines, as they share many common traits. ​

​So, let’s take a moment and...

Define the differences between self-defense and martial arts.

 Explore what makes them similar and how those commonalities allow us to benefit from both types of training.

Discuss what training is best for you.

One of the BIG similarities between self-defense and martial arts training is they build self-confidence. In Self-defense, learning how to (1) identify potential attackers, (2) be aware of your surroundings/possible dangerous situations (3) employ de-escalation techniques and (4) use basic physical techniques to defend yourself, will not only build confidence but also help instill a sense of personal safety that will serve you for the rest of your life. With the Martial Arts, having (1) an arsenal of techniques, (2) developed danger instincts, and (3) combat training, will help you to trust yourself to make quick, effective decisions in any situation. Fear will not rule you. —--------------------------------------------------- ​ Which type of training is better for me? Well, that honestly depends on what you want/need. If you’re simply looking to keep yourself safe while walking home from class, or protect your family while on vacation, then taking a basic Self-defense class (seminar) may be all that you need. But if you’re looking to take protecting yourself to a deeper/more effective level, then martial arts may be the best choice. Studying the martial arts will help you to:

By the end of this article, you should have a good understanding of both disciplines and be able to decide what type of training is best suited for you and your family.. Let's get started! —--------------------------------------------------- What are the differences between self-defense and martial arts? When it comes to self-defense and martial arts, understanding the differences between the two is key to finding what works best for you. While the two terms are often interchanged, they represent two very distinct concepts. Self-Defense Training At a basic level, self-defense training focuses on avoiding helping you to avoid danger and defending yourself without the use of force... at first. Self-defense training includes techniques such as (1) situational awareness.. (2) de-escalation tactics... and (3) physical countermeasures like blocking and evasive maneuvers. It is more about DEFENSE. Using your body in strategic ways to fend off an attacker when force is necessary. Martial Arts Training Martial arts training, on the other hand, is geared more towards the fight. Like learning specific techniques for combat... often for sport or competition. It also involves greater physical conditioning as well as muscle memory drills to help practitioners execute their techniques with precision and speed. Overall, martial arts training seeks out physical contact and is more geared towards developing a person’s physical prowess in order to beat an opponent. It's important to note that while there are differences between self-defense and martial arts training, both styles focus mainly on personal safety. The primary difference lies in their goals... self-defense training focuses more on avoiding the fight while martial arts training focuses on what to do when fighting. ​ —--------------------------------------------------- So how is self-defense and martial arts training similar? You might be asking yourself, how does martial arts relate to self-defense? While there are obvious physical similarities. Both require you to learn...

● Basics of kicking and punching. ● How to recognize (be aware) and assess a threat. ● Target parts of the body. ● Confident mindset

One of the BIG similarities between self-defense and martial arts training is they build self-confidence. In Self-defense, learning how to (1) identify potential attackers, (2) be aware of your surroundings/possible dangerous situations (3) employ de-escalation techniques and (4) use basic physical techniques to defend yourself, will not only build confidence but also help instill a sense of personal safety that will serve you for the rest of your life. With the Martial Arts, having (1) an arsenal of techniques, (2) developed danger instincts, and (3) combat training, will help you to trust yourself to make quick, effective decisions in any situation. Fear will not rule you. —--------------------------------------------------- ​ Which type of training is better for me? Well, that honestly depends on what you want/need. If you’re simply looking to keep yourself safe while walking home from class, or protect your family while on vacation, then taking a basic Self-defense class (seminar) may be all that you need. But if you’re looking to take protecting yourself to a deeper/more effective level, then martial arts may be the best choice. Studying the martial arts will help you to:

Develop more techniques. In martial arts, the focus is often more on technique than pure strength. Learning techniques such as leverage and body position can give you an edge in self-defense.

Move better. Martial artists practice evasive movement techniques – like dodging and weaving – to stay out of their opponent's reach or strike from a better angle. You can use these same skills in self-defense for quick escapes or even counterattacks.

Develop timing. Timing – knowing when to dodge, block or strike your enemy – is important in martial arts. If you can get the timing right, it can help you use minimal energy while defending yourself more effectively.

Understand energy. There's more than just physical energy at work in martial arts. By understanding and harnessing your mental energy – namely focus, determination and fearlessness – you too, will become a force to be reckoned with in any self-defense situation.

At the end of the day, your self-defense skills will improve dramatically if you combine them with one or more martial arts disciplines. SPECIAL NOTE on Self-Defense vs. Martial Arts Training for Women While martial arts training is for everyone, 85% of the people who seek out training are men. Why? Women tend to avoid conflict... especially physical combat. And martial arts training does include sparring, fighting and close proximity. So, self-defense classes are a good option for women who aren’t comfortable with the up-close physical contact and fighting techniques of the martial arts. They will empower you. Get you in that confident (and positive mindset). And in time could lead to wanting more... like the greater self-defense skill set learned with martial arts training. —--------------------------------------------------- In Conclusion... Both self-defense classes and martial arts training will give you the skill set and confidence you need to defend yourself and your family. When it comes to choosing which path to take, well it simply comes down to choice (and maybe, time). There is no wrong answer... other than not training at all.

[teaveetamer]

Hey man, we've chatted before on my main. I sent that one modmail last August, remember? How's it going?

I wasn't gonna respond since Ezra already said something and I don't want you to feel like you're getting dogpiled, but since I was directly involved in that situation and I was the main person calling the harassers in question out, and I called your attention to some of the harassment that was ongoing at the time (before Moonlitboar I guess, since it was August), I guess you're talking about me here. So I kinda feel obligated to say something given some of the things you said about (presumably) me in this post.

I'm not sure why you decided to bring this up rn when you weren't really involved in all of that and, like... you either chose not to ask people who were heavily involved for their side of the story, or you don't know enough about the situation to be aware of who you should be contacting in the first place to ask?

I have made numerous, repeated, honest efforts to de-escalate everything going on here, and people threatened to put a .45 ACP in me and they've talked about killing me. So like, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say, but I don't really appreciate the "you have a complicated relationship with the truth" dig given everything that's been happening. I feel like you don't have a great handle on how bad this has become or why some of us feel the need to continue talking about it (despite how much I would VERY MUCH like to talk about literally anything else at this point. Like holy fuck I've had a post in my drafts since July where I talk about wanting this blog to go dormant). Or maybe you've just got one perspective, I don't know.

I really appreciated how you were willing to sit down and talk to me and listen to me a year ago, and I hope you'll do that again for this post. I'm honestly not trying to fight, I'm just Tired.

So I gotta start with my interpretation of this post. Maybe this isn't what you meant, but uh. You've basically accused (again, I'm assuming) me of having a "complicated relationship with the truth" (I'm not sure how I would interpret this as anything other than you calling me a liar, or maybe delusional?) while simultaneously humoring a blatantly ridiculous conspiracy theory that absolves the other party of guilt for what transpired, and then you go on to air your grievances about how people feel unsafe in the fandom and the environment is toxic. I mean. I don't know how you'd react to reading that collection of thoughts strung together in that specific manner out of the blue, but it kiiiiiiinda makes it seem like you think I'm the problem for calling out harassment and you're looking for reasons to excuse the behavior of people who blatantly harassed someone. Without having ever spoken to me about it. Which is, uh. If that's not what you were trying to say I think you should clarify that immediately.

One more thing that makes me feel a bit uneasy about the wording of your post. You have previously admitted that you used to "talk on a regular basis" with Raxis, AKA one of the the people who has spearheaded much of the harassment. And you didn't disclose that in your OP. So clearly there's some degree of prior relationship there that might be relevant to mention if you're going to take the mantle of neutral third party observer while also calling into question my integrity wrt my statements about or interactions with him.

Considering you appear to have done a bit of a 180 on Raxis since this comment, and it's to claim you might have proliferated lies about him and now you want evidence of a conspiracy theory absolving him, I'm going to hazard a guess that you might have been in contact with him (or someone very sympathetic to him) more recently than 7 months ago?

So, like, sorry but I guess this is going to be long. But since we couldn't have this conversation privately and now you've made statements publicly calling my integrity into question, I'm just gonna do this publicly and add thoughts, detail and context, and links to relevant info where I think it's helpful (to you or to anyone who might read this):

1 I have nothing to hide about what happened with that post. Ezra linked it in the comments, but here is the link to the actual "fuck around and find out" post. The original, as well as all of his responses to me and my responses to him, are preserved because of how Tumblr works. I have a web archive link as well just in case tumblr goes through with their plans to change how reblog preservation works. In the notes you can find additional context, including numerous screenshots regarding the harassment faced by people. Though if OP has blocked someone (or multiple someones) it might prevent their comments and reblogs from appearing on the post notes now. You would have to go to their blogs to find them. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. Maybe, if anyone contributed and they want to make sure you see it, they can post a link to their reblogs as well.

I'm a bit snippy in this interaction. That's because this was previously the interaction I'd had with Raxis, prior to Moonlitboar. And I was a bit snippy there, because yeah I just experienced the trauma of having my human right to bodily autonomy stripped from me and he was using it as a "gotcha" in a fandom argument. I'll remind you that he repeatedly calls me hysterical, by the way, both to my face and behind my back. So given the context that I first interacted with him in, that's cool.

I know I'm not perfect, but I feel like I was more than reasonable and willing to give him a second chance despite everything leading up to the Moonlit situation.

I am a lot less forgiving now, because I have given him grace and he continues engaging in the behavior that caused the problem in the first place. He and his friends are also escalating things beyond the pale, including such things as lying about people sending him death threats and falsely accusing me of engaging in blackmail when I tried to politely de-escalate the situation with the discord server mods.

2) "especially with the attempt to drag Edelgard's VA (Cristina Vee) into this drama and with the digging up of years-old Discord posts."

Couple of things here. First, Edelgard's VA is Tara Platt not Christina Vee. Second, I remember the anon who made the post and tagged her VA. They got called out, immediately apologized, and then came back and told me they fucked up.

Also, while it was a dumb decision at the time, it's not like 3H VAs haven't gotten involved in the fandom or discourse (e.g. Petra's VA has vocally shat on Rhea fans and Joe Zieja is his own whole thing. Hackney and Clark have also openly engaged with fan communities on social media as well) so I can also see why it made sense in Anon's head at the time. I don't see why you bring it up like there was some sort of sustained harassment of Tara Platt over the situation. It was one tag in a call out post, and Anon immediately acknowledged that they messed up and deserved to get called out for it.

Anon apologized over a year ago, it hasn't happened again as far as I'm aware, and Tara Platt is a grown woman who is well established in the industry. She can just ignore getting tagged one time in some fandom drama if she wants (and clearly she did), and I don't doubt that people @ her all the time in stupid shit and she's used to just ignoring it by now (if she even has her mentions on). Can we dispense with this misunderstanding and move on?

As for "digging up years-old Discord posts"

First, many of them aren't "years old". Second, many of us, in posting screenshots from their discord, were trying to prove that they were directing harassment toward us from their discord. Which they were. Some of those posts are old, because this has been going on since at least 2021. This is something I've explicitly talked to the mods of their discord about to try and stop. You can see my pinned post for a summary of how that turned out.

But feel free to ask any questions about it. As I've said numerous times, I have absolutely nothing to hide about what went on in my conversations with the mods of their server. I can grab you screenshots of literally anything you might want to know about what was said there, and I've already gone through and screen recorded every single message sent among us (with proof that I haven't deleted anything) just in case I got accused of something ridiculous and untrue. Which, uh, it seems that I have. So +1 for foresight.

3) "While I won't elaborate, I also have reason to believe that the anti-Edelgard crowd also has a complicated relationship with the truth"

I already mentioned this, but that's a pretty bold claim to make when you haven't spoken to any of us. You're trying to present yourself as an unbiased observer or someone trying to find the truth out, but if that's the role you want to have in this conversation then I'd really appreciate a DM in the future and an honest disclosure of your ties to the people involved. You know. Before you basically publicly intimate that I'm a liar or whatever is going on here in this sentence. Or at least explain why you think that I am lying in the public post, so I can actually respond to it properly instead of whatever is going on right now.

4) I am not God and I don't know for sure what the harassment entailed or who stole the URL, so I cannot make an impartial judgment."

So don't comment on it if you don't know what happened?

I can't tell you who stole the URL either. I can tell you that it was stolen, they reblogged a post mocking Moonlitboar for deleting everything after sustained harassment and talked about how they thought it was "funny" to pile on, and then mysteriously the blog was wiped a few months ago after Raxis got in trouble again for harassing someone else and people were bringing the situation up again.

So like? What's more likely? Someone who sympathized with Moonlitboar stole their URL to mock and inflict more emotional pain on them just for a hypothetical future fandom "w", or the guy and/or his clinger-ons, who have been involved in a pattern of harassing behavior over a span of two+ years, did something else harassing toward someone they were already harassing?

And really, logic hats on for a second. If someone who just hated Edelgard fans were engaging in a false flag attack why would they wipe the account and all of the evidence months ago? Not after they got accused of being a false-flag, but months ago when Raxis started getting called out for harassing Reyna (and possibly earlier, I don't know when exactly they wiped it)? Why would they leave it dormant after Raxis started getting called out and they started getting serious backlash for doing it, instead of continuing to use it for harassing purposes to give the "edelhaters" more "ammo"? Why have they never given it back to Moonlitboar that we know of if they were really on their side? Like, genuinely, where on earth does a conspiracy theory like this even come from?

5) "To me, the fact that this incident happened and that it continues to linger is symbolic of the fact that an entire section of our fandom has been turned into a wasteland where people are fearful to speak their mind."

Again, maybe this isn't want you meant, but the fact that you're putting this statement in the context of "the people who called out the harassment are liars and please give me proof that the harassers are innocent and being lied about" is uh. If you didn't intend it, you sure did imply something really nasty about me with the way you structured this post.

So again, here we go. Yeah, it keeps being brought up because it's evidence of a pattern of behavior that continues to happen. I'm happy to never bring it up again if it would just stop happening. Raxis is still stalking and harassing people in the same way he stalked and harassed Moonlit, so what happened to Moonlit is unfortunately still relevant. He doesn't even try to hide it, like, you can see it if you go to LITERALLY any one of his social media profiles. Like, maybe we should talk about the time he was posting about Nilsh's (who had him blocked for two years at this point) completely unrelated to Fire Emblem political opinions on Reddit just to shit on him? Would you call this normal, healthy behavior?

Most of the blogs Raxis stalks properly tag their posts so they can be blacklisted by Edelgard fans, and they often censor their posts so they don't show up in Edelgard searches by accident. This is quite literally the best anyone can do on Tumblr to keep people from seeing their shit without literally never speaking at all.

I think you would agree with me when I say that everyone should be allowed to express opinions about the games, without fear of being stalked and harassed, right? The fact that Raxis continues stalking and block evading, taking screenshots, and reposting them to numerous social media platforms including Twitter, Gamefaqs, Reddit, and Discord should be your first clue that normal fandom arguing behavior is not going on here. This is something you literally ban people for on your subreddit.

I know you're a mod on Reddit. Making an alt account to view a blog that has blocked you, taking screenshots of their posts, and reposting them constantly just to keep "arguing" with them after they have made it very clear that they do not want you to talk to them any more, is the Tumblr equivalent of a mod banning someone from a subreddit but they keep making alt accounts to continue posting. It's explicitly against Tumblr's ToS (look under harassment), and if their admins were worth a damn the guy would have been banned a hundred times over for it. He literally has tags he specifically uses to organize his posts where he's screenshotted people who have blocked him. He's even explicitly, publicly admitted to making an alt account to stalk people who have blocked him.

I have no beef with anyone who has opinions about the game that I don't agree with. I don't even read their posts. I am focused on calling out one specific collection of fans consisting of specific actors who continue to cause problems for the community, such as refusing to respect the block button and breaking ToS to engage in harassment.

A boundary is set. It is crossed. It needs to be called out as unacceptable behavior. Period. That's all that's going on here. There's no beef with Edelgard fans who follow the rules and the etiquette and don't do this shit, and I have never engaged with them like I have with Raxis (because there is no need).

6) "And I do not mean to be an "enlightened centrist," but this kind of thing certainly does not exclusively happen to BL fans and it is not exclusively perpetrated by Edelgard fans."

No one is claiming that it only happens to BL fans or that it's only perpetrated by Edelgard fans. We're talking about the specific actions of a handful of Edelgard fans.

7) "When we are at the point where there are accusations of conspiracies being lobbed between cliques, there is something wrong."

I'm not entirely sure what you're referring to, since I was not aware of any conspiracies until I read the one you introduced in this post.

Unless you're referring to people joking about Raxis having a sockpuppet account. Which, as I've stated above, isn't a conspiracy. It's something he literally admitted to publicly.

8) "Some people may be more to blame than others, but I do not believe anyone who continues to be involved can truly claim to be innocent."

I'm not going to pretend like I'm perfect, but when there's people literally talking about killing me I feel like I have to keep calling it out. Like. For my own safety. When I've tried to de-escalate and I basically get told I can go fuck myself and I deserve to be harassed, so yeah I kinda feel like there's an unequal contribution to the toxicity going on here.

9) "Let me say this again: this entire conflict has made people feel unsafe to discuss a game that they love."

I agree? That's why I keep talking about people who are making others feel unsafe. Like, you know, the kind of people who joke about how upset we get about being misgendered, engage in blatant queerphobia and racism, intentionally make comments about genocide to trigger people, make death threats, stalk, harass, etc.? I mean Raxis has now TWICE (that I know of) screencapped or quoted my anons out of context and posted about it on other platforms (I have him blocked btw). No reason to do that unless you're trying to start shit. Not to mention the blatant ableism people sent me over the Moonlitboar situation, or the post where someone accused me of having a persecution complex for talking about my experiences with sexual violence shortly after.

A collection of more screenshots.

Here's some more.

I've been consistent in what I'm trying to do here since it happened.

And that's just a handful of stuff I can immediately think of and find posts about, mostly specifically pertaining to me. Are you concerned with how safe I feel in this fandom too? I don't feel safe when people like this continue behaving like this despite my best efforts to ignore them, and I don't feel safe when they amp up on harassing me when I try to call them out for their blatantly toxic fandom behavior.

If you do have a problem with anything I've specifically said or done as I've gone about navigating this situation then you can go ahead and bring me specifics (off anon), with links to exactly what I've said, and we can have a conversation about it. I'd really rather avoid this pointless public vagueposting and non-specific shade that, contrary to your stated goals, does nothing but stir up discourse, dump fuel on the stupid "us vs. them" fire, and hurt feelings.

10) "This includes being a bystander - if you see stuff like this happening, even if it's from someone you consider a friend, do not be afraid to step in and say something! Your small, humble action could make a huge difference for other people."

You say don't be a bystander, but then also I did try calling out extremely harmful fandom behavior and you've made a post which, again, reads a lot to me like you're... asking people to please give you proof that I was lying(?) about someone you consider close enough to have been in regular contact with previously(??) without talking to me at all about the situation prior to posting it(???)

Like yeah, uh, not exactly encouraging people to feel comfortable speaking up if they're just going to immediately get told they "have a complicated relationship with the truth" for doing so?

More broadly now:

Listen, I've had this blog since 2020 and in all that time, to my recollection, I've only ever deleted a single post from it (which was about Engage and unrelated to anything we're talking about here). And someone went and archived the blog too back when this all first happened so you can go compare notes if you want.

I'm not trying to be a dick here, seriously, but it's a bit galling if I'm being honest. You're completely comfortable saying I "have a complicated relationship with the truth" despite the fact that you have either deliberately never spoken to me about the situation in question despite knowing I was heavily involved, or you don't know enough about the situation to even know I was involved and that I was someone you might need to talk to. Meanwhile, in the same post, you're openly asking for people to prove that someone—the guy you literally say has deleted and tried to hide his shameful bragging about harassing someone—is the victim of some conspiracy led by... who, exactly? Me?

Again, like, use our logic brains here. Who is more likely to have a "complicated relationship with the truth"? Someone who has never deleted a post and leaves everything they've publicly said about the situation (good or bad, perfect or potentially problematic) completely available for anyone to browse? Or the people actively trying to delete evidence?

11) Anyway we can wrap this up. I've invited folk numerous times to provide screenshots of Moonlitboar harassing people, which they've been repeatedly claiming is a thing that definitely happened to justify Moonlit getting harassed off of social media, and they have as of yet declined to provide any sort of evidence to me. They don't even describe instances that they can't obtain proof for (which would be reasonable as the harassment led Moonlit to delete all of their socials, thus the proof would no longer exist. Except, actually, it might because someone archived their blog at least two dozen times prior to them deleting it). At a certain point I have to conclude that they are being less than truthful about what Moonlit was doing leading up to this incident.

I do have evidence of Raxis stalking Moonlitboar despite explicitly being told that Moonlit blocked him and he was no longer welcome to continue interacting with them, though. So, y'know.

Again, I don't know what led you to make this post or if you meant for it to come across how it did, but please, don't continue speaking on this before you've done more research. You can DM me and I'll try to provide you links to anything you might need, and obviously I included some in this post to start, but it's impossible for me to condense two+ years of sustained harassment spanning at least half a dozen different people, a handful of perpetrators, and at bunch of incidents, into a single tumblr post.

Anyway hope that was coherent. Kinda spent too long looking at it at this point, just gonna send it off and go to bed.

Random thoughts the second - On Hostility in the FE Community, Part 1

This past weekend, more or less, marked a year since an incident that took place here on Tumblr regarding the Fire Emblem: Three Houses community. Specifically, it involved an artist being run out of the fandom due to harassment. Even as a relatively uninvolved person, this incident has stuck in my mind for the past year as perhaps one of the most egregious things to come out of the four years of discourse over this game. If you, my audience of two or three, will indulge me, I have a few rambles - so much in fact that I have to split into two parts. The first part will focus on 3H specifically, and the second will be on the broader FE community.

As I was saying, about a year ago – towards the end of September 2022 – there was an incident which took place on Tumblr. This incident involved a fanartist for Three Houses who was a fan of the Blue Lions. They were rather obscure, or at least obscure enough to where I had never heard of them before this. The artist deleted their social media after allegedly experiencing harassment from Edelgard fans which was allegedly over a comment over Sitri. Afterwards, their Tumblr URL was hijacked by someone else and used to reblog a rant from a prominent Edelgard fan. In that post, the person denied responsibility but they said that the artist “got what they deserved” and that they “fucked around and found out.” While the posts in question have been deleted, I do have screenshots of this happening in case anyone wants to examine what was actually said rather than taking my description as fact.

Generally, this person and their followers have been held responsible for what happened to this fanartist, and this story has been passed around as fact to this day. I was personally angered when I heard of what happened, especially because of the brazen URL stealing, the lack of shame regarding what happened to this person, and how irrelevant they were in the grand scheme of things. (It's one thing if this happens to someone who compared Edelgard to Putin or called Dimitri a racist or something like that - as poor of an excuse it is to point to that, it's at least an excuse. This was beyond the pale.) It pains me to admit that I allowed anger to get the better of me, and I apologize that I did so.

Since then, there’s been an interesting allegation. 

I’ve seen that when this story has been brought up, other peoplehave claimed that the artist was harassed off the Internet by “their own fans” and that members of the…we’ll say “anti-Edelgard” group had framed Edelgard fans as being responsible.

Sadly, I cannot immediately disbelieve this allegation. Some of the reaction to this incident was quite exaggerated, especially with the attempt to drag Edelgard's VA (Cristina Vee) into this drama and with the digging up of years-old Discord posts. While I won't elaborate, I also have reason to believe that the anti-Edelgard crowd also has a complicated relationship with the truth. It may be simplest to believe that it is the Edelgard fans who are lying and that whoever stole the URL sympathized with them or collaborated with them, but as things stand, it's a he said-she said situation. I am not God and I don't know for sure what the harassment entailed or who stole the URL, so I cannot make an impartial judgment.

(As an aside, while I'm not interested in debating this incident publicly, my conscience does weigh on me for having possibly spread calumnies in the past. If anyone per chance has evidence that there really was a conspiracy to frame Edelgard fans as responsible for harassment, I ask that this evidence be emailed to skelezomperman@gmail.com. If you convince me that there really was a conspiracy, I will publicly apologize. If you send evidence but it doesn’t convince me, I won’t say anything in public, so don't feel afraid to reach out.)

So this is where things stand, one year after moonlitboar was run off Tumblr. It would be one thing if this quietly faded into the background, but to this day I still see people spread this story (probably because nothing happened with any of the people involved, as far as I know) and to this day I see people play the blame game over this. To me, the fact that this incident happened and that it continues to linger is symbolic of the fact that an entire section of our fandom has been turned into a wasteland where people are fearful to speak their mind. It was egregious, but certainly not the only incident. And I do not mean to be an "enlightened centrist," but this kind of thing certainly does not exclusively happen to BL fans and it is not exclusively perpetrated by Edelgard fans. Many different people from many different cliques are responsible for this petty conflict and I would say that it has left a negative impact across the broader FE community. At the very least, I hope we can all agree that this shouldn't have happened and this person did not deserve this, regardless of what they actually said. I freely admit that I am naïve, but I hope that one day this will be resolved - that not only will the actual truth be known, but that all those responsible will apologize and turn a new leaf.

I will address this last part to everyone who continues to be involved in debates over FE3H, whether it is here on Tumblr or elsewhere. I recognize that with some of you, I have lost credibility due to past actions, but I hope you will still listen. When we are at the point where there are accusations of conspiracies being lobbed between cliques, there is something wrong. Some people may be more to blame than others, but I do not believe anyone who continues to be involved can truly claim to be innocent. I recommend that you do an examination of conscience: in other words, to review if your activities to fandom are truly bettering yourself and others or if they are detrimental. Those who are fanning the flames of conflict are quite possibly hurting themselves more than other people! I will get more into this in the second half of the post, but please, I really recommend stepping back and taking a long look at what exactly you are bringing to our community.

If you are spending inordinate amount of times getting into arguments with other people about 3H, or if you see yourself as part of some kind of war, or if you are looking down on other people, or if you see yourself as a martyr, you should take a step back and consider if you actually being a positive influence or if you are part of the problem. Yes, some people do say really stupid, mind-blowingly dumb things, and I understand the temptation to rebut it - I feel it a lot. But it’s worth remembering that sometimes it’s best to just leave them alone and lay off. Lack of discretion is a big reason why many people have been made to feel unsafe in a community discussing a game that they love. Let me say this again: this entire conflict has made people feel unsafe to discuss a game that they love. Putting everything else aside, this alone should be enough to make anyone in this community feel ashamed. It is very regrettable and we should all review to see if we have contributed to that and what we can change to prevent that in the future. This includes being a bystander - if you see stuff like this happening, even if it's from someone you consider a friend, do not be afraid to step in and say something! Your small, humble action could make a huge difference for other people.

To those of you who have made it to the end...congratulations? You are probably asking: how is this thing that involves a few dozen people at most relevant to the broader FE community? Tomorrow or Friday, I will post the second half of this ramble in which I address hostility across the entire spectrum of intensity, from a simple backhanded comment to outright harassment like this. From there, we can perhaps truly discover what it means to be a welcoming community and better ourselves and each other.

[hajimeshoe]

I've had this one on my mind for too damn long!

I see a lot of fem!s/o headcanons where she's defended, but hardly any where she defends herself or likes to play rough!

So I'm asking!

Could you do a Jamil, Leona, The Leech twins, and Kalim with a tall(6'0) fem!s/o who's pretty docile and soft with a smart mouth. *I mean the insulting kind of smart mouth*.

She doesn't know her own strength when she play fights and accidentally hurts people sometimes. She's very kind to others as long as she likes them.

Now, in the event that she is physically provoked into a fight, she wails on her aggressor, and she won't stop until she's satisfied with the damage dealt, or until she's pulled off. And she's strong, so people have a hard time.

How would they calm her down from her anger, and how would they stop the fight?

I- Shiba, I struggled with this one - half of these guys are the “Would murder someone for the slightest misstep” Squad 😃 It honestly was fun to write tho

Leona

You and Leona would be insulting eachother CONSTANTLY. Like, I can picture this as an “on again, off again” relationship

And you two scrap allllll the time - when he’s not half-asleep

So when you’re going ham on this other student

Leona would sit there watching for a bit

You’re his herbivore, he knows you can defend yourself

He'd blame the other person for pissing you off, honestly

And he is wayyy too lazy to get involved

But, as per his culture (Which raises them with a healthy dose of respect women juice) he has to get involved

Now, you may be tall, but so is Leona

So it's not an issue for him to walk over and drag you off, kicking, screaming and insulting him the entire way (Out of all of them, Leona is the only one I can picture having no issues dragging you around)

"Calm down, Herbivore, we're taking a nap"

“No tf we aren’t!! I have a murder to commit! 🤬”

Cue Leona literally wrapping himself around you like a koala to keep you from trying to run back and finish shit - he already has Ruggie using his unique magic to humiliate them for a couple of days

Jamil

He's a babysitter for Kalim, he's a babysitter for his girlfriend - he never does get a moment of peace, does he?

He does love you're smart mouth, and how creative you can get with insults but...

The second he see's you beating the fuck out of this student, he just facepalms and sighs.

"Kalim, stay!"

Left Kalim to make his way toward you

A single mom who works two jobs, who loves his kids and never stops

It doesn't matter if you're taller or not, he'll end this quickly and get you and Kalim both somewhere neither of you can continue to cause issues

He interrogated a random student to figure out what happened. Somebody had insulted you?

When Jamil fails to pull you off, he just gives up and uses magic

Bro literally just grabs your face with one hand (like a disobedient child) and forces you to look in his eyes so he can hypnotize you

And he hypnotized the other person to stay there

Once he has you nice and compliant, he’ll have you walking to Scarabia so he can hole you up in his room

(One week later - You: Jamil, what happened to that student I beat up? Jamil:… Jamil: I should probably drop the hypnosis before they die)

(He has his hands full with you and Kalim, he can’t honestly give a damn about other peoples health 😭)

Kalim

One word: Panic.

Yes, you're taller than him. Yes, you're stronger. He still panics because he doesn't want you getting into fights

It takes him, Jamil and three other students from Scarabia to de-escalate the fight by separating you two

Afterwards, you have an impromptu therapy session complete with cuddles, your favourite movies, snacks, ice cream, chocolate - he is literally rich with no sense of impulse control, you say the word and it's yours

(Baby already had Jamil overblot, he isn't risking it happening to you)

Jade

First things first, you and Jade 100% have competitions where you insult eachother to see who ends up crying first

It's normally him

He'd actually like to see who would win in a fight - you or Floyd

But he knows one or both of you will get carried away and be mortal enemies the rest of your lives if that happens

So when he sees you beating up some guy? He’ll blackmail him jnto admitting what he did wrong later (you may or may not end up with the guy as you new slave)

For now, he recruits Floyd to help him frag you off of they guy and back down to Octavinelle

The trip takes double the amount of time that it should given they’re both over 6foot tall merpeople

But you are deceptively strong for a normally fairly docile person (He and Floyd had to use all of their combined strength and still struggled)

Once he has you safely in Octavinelle, I feel like he’d calm you down by - hear me out, even if you think it’s out of character - letting you take your anger out on him

He’s certain he can take it, and he trusts you won’t do any permanent damage.

He loves you, what can I say?

Will he end up in the infirmary for a week? Yes. Does he care? Definitely. But in his mind, it’s still worth it.

Floyd

He will sit there eating popcorn

Until it starts to bore him

Then he's in a bad mood and just wants to go

His pride? It takes a huge hit when he can't just drag you off by himself and - surprise, surprise - his mood worsens even more

Now he's pissed off and has some pride issues

I’d say watch your back in case he attempts to a) squeeze you to death or b) drown you, but I gotta feeling you’ll be A-O-K

He ends up needing reinforcements to grab you, but who? Some of the poor, poor freshies he’s managed to scare into helping him grab you

How does he calm you down? He tries (Keyword: TRIED) to beat your ass

Now, now, it may seem counterproductive, but hey - it works

You got to beat up two people, and now your boyfriend is in the infirmary in one of the worst moods Jade has seen him in, but you’re calm and that’s all that matters 😌

[mostly-mundane-atla]

If you're trying to figure out a job not directly related to survival for a Water Tribe OC, consider these common traditional Inupiaq ones:

A historian. Someone chosen to memorize and carry on the tribe's oral history. This would be the closest traditional Inupiaq cultures have to an academic. The Avatar universe has a common written language, and so an in-universe version of this job might include writing down copies of the history to replace ones that are wearing out, as well as keeping written records (such as for births, deaths, marriages, divorces, the weather, harvests of hunted animals and foraged vegetation, battles, and other events) and writing new ones. Training would start young and would involve spending a lot of time with the elders. I'd imagine even with written records it would be best to learn the past from those who have lived it.

A trader. Traders would have traditionally been fluent not only in various dialects of their own language (some were so different they were unintelligeable to people who weren't raised speaking them) but other languages of nearby peoples as well. A trader had to be diplomatic and level-headed, getting a bargain without insulting anyone and de-escalating potential fights to keep peace. One would likely learn from family members. (Historical note: while Inupiaq art and jewellery didn't make much use of dentalium shells, other nations did. They were so highly valued that they could be used as currency in international trade. If this inspires you at all, feel free to use it!).

An artist or artisan. Cultural art was and continues to be a notable part of these economies irl. Items range from carefully made things that served an every day purpose, such as baskets or spoons or mittens, to things that were nice to have because they were pretty, such as scrimshaw pieces and jewellery and figurines. I don't know what partnerships between the people who make things to trade and the people who knew best how to trade them were like so I'll leave that to your best guess or research.

A messenger. Messengers, of course, needed to travel quickly between villages (sometimes even across the sea) and remember the messages they were tasked with giving. These messages could be mundane or ceremonial, such as inviting other villages to the aptly named Messenger Feast. A messenger needed more than just speed and a good memory though. In times of war, messengers were vulnerable to and targeted by any raiding parties that didn't recognize them as their own, and so needed to be stealthy and observational.

There were also shamans, but their duties were spiritual in such a way that referring to it as a job feels disrespectful. They contacted helping spirits to carry out their will and performed miracles and spiritual healing. But it could not be assumed they were altruistic or had completely harmless intentions. They could raise your son from the dead or curse your entire family. (Katara's healing aspect of waterbending bringing Aang back to life makes me wonder if Northern Water Tribe shamans would be entirely women. That could be an interesting concept to play with.)

Note that these professions do not exempt anyone who had them from needing to provide for themselves or be provided for by their families. A shelter to sleep in and food to last you will always be first priority.