#how do u say. non canon self ships. if someone says 'i ship myself with ______' i usually just ship them because who am I to play god !!! 🫡

[taiyami]

Do you ship your mutuals with any characters? If so, who and why

OF COURSE I DO .. it's the most fun a fella can have these days :)c I'm not super involved in the self-ship community, but I support it fully and indulge every once in a while. (If I leave anybody out I'm sorry, !)

@nagumoan always and forever will be attached to Jugram (BLEACH) or Shion's (JGKRK) image to me. I don't even know who Shion is but I do know he and Loni are happily married. In fact I was there for their wedding and caught their bouquet.

@hopefulstarfire I don't know this man personally but GUZMA (pokemon) for sure. That's their stinky man 😤🙌🏼 Kenz and I have known each other since teenagehood so I could list any and all their hubbies if I so felt inclined.

@upperranktwo MY SKY PIE ❤️ Douma only, there literally cannot be a more perfect duo. They are SOO SILLY together augh :o) They make me SO happy!!

@semisgroupie IKKAKU (BLEACH), I have never known a gal to be so perfect for that man !! I can't imagine him with anyone else, only my Ve.

@strawberrystepmom I always associate this pretty gal with Natsuo (BNHA), It just feels so right. Ice boy with a warm blooded gal, I love it !! I also love her and her old man Kakashi (who happens to be in his late 20s but shh. (I shouldnt have to say but. Naruto))

@nymphoheretic OUR DARLING RENGOKU (KNY) .. I just think these two are SO cute together 🥺 I just think they compliment each other really well. ❤️‍🔥

@rozentias MY BELOVED RÓ .. As much as I find Urahara (BLEACH) and Ró super silly and cute, I really love the dynamic he has with Axl (Guilty Gear) .. I think he just deserves to have a cute fun guy who loves him and cherishes him!! But I love all of his self ships, they're fun to talk about with him <:]

@diorsbrando Listen I know he's a troubled man but we love troubled men in these parts, I can't imagine Sosa without thinking of Sasuke too 💔 I LOVE seeing Sosa go a little feral over that man, it's what he deserves 😤

@sixeyesgojo Now he better not misbehave and cause my Yoru any problems or I will have a problem with him but .. Gojo 🫡 I trust that he takes care of them.

Aaaagh i hope I'm not missing anybody .. feel free to stop by my inbox if you want an assigned ship :o) There's a strong chance I pair a person with a character if we're mutuals, even if we don't talk much! I usually take a peek if someone has a f/o list, or I keep note whenever they have special tags for people. I wish I was more active about self ships because they're harmless fun, but I'm just embarrassed of my own HEHE. I'd talk about them more if people asked or came into my inbox but .. for now I just keep them to myself 🫡

Thanks for stopping by !!! I loved answering this !!!

[rottmntsimp]

hello!! i was wondering if i could get a ROTTMNT character match up (when ur free and got the time!!)??

i go by many many online names, but usually i stick with sandra! i'm southeast asian, 5'2, and gender non conforming. i got black hair that's in a medium-length butterfly haircut and i usually dress up in a soft-grunge style (i don't have a specific style in reality, too indecisive for that rip).

i have audhd, and find it hard to open up to people. when i have an interest, it's usually really intense! marine biology, certain video game franchises, tv shows, music, the arts—i'm super passionate about all of them and find myself infodumping if i dont catch myself. i keep to myself the majority of the time, but when i open up to people that i believe i can trust, i'm usually described as energetic and very active!

dancing, singing, playing music, and drawing are my main go-to hobbies. especially music—i know how to play the piano, violin, cello, bass, and guitar! the last two are self-taught, but i got a few years under my belt :D

i'm an esfp, and i love listening to people talk about their passions and their love for whatever it is. i'm dramatic and love doing things for shits and giggles (for the plot yk), but i'm bad at recognising and understanding other people's feelings at times. i'm horrendous at comforting others and i can not read between the lines for the life of me.

so sorry for typing so much!! i wanted to make sure u had good material to work with 🤲

i hope you have a wonderful day evening or night !!!

—🌷 anon <33

Hey Sandra! As you didn't state a preference for your partner, I'm going to assume that either any is fine!

Also genuine question, should I add my taglist on these?

Don't ask how but I can see myself shipping you with April!

💚 - When it comes to dressing up, let's be honest, April could probably rock anything [much like I bet you do!]

💚 - So please for the love of god, let her borrow your clothes. She may not ask for it much, but if you're cool with it she is burrowing herself into your clothes-

💚 - Height-wise, I'd say 5'2" is pretty average, but compared to April, oh boy-

💚 - Her canonical height is 4'8", but let's give her a few inches out of pity, and make her around 5'0"...yeah no she's still short.

💚 - If it takes time for you to open up to people, don't worry! She'll be there, waiting and by your side the whole time.

💚 - As for special interests, if you happen to like a video game she has, she'll definitely let you borrow it. Hell, you guys can play together, maybe even infodump!

💚 - ^^ She'll probably sit there, head propped up in her hand, smiling at you softly.

💚 - Now, as for music, I'm sorry if this is just me projecting, but music players,,,

💚 - Would probably swoon if you ever wrote her a song, or even played for her.

💚 - Would probably ask you to teach her a few things, even if it's just the basics.

💚 - You're both extroverted so expect more outdoorsy dates! Amusement parks, bowling, arcades, whatever your heart desires, it shall get!

💚 - Now, as a fellow ✨THEATER KID✨ if you're demiromantic, aro-spec, or just more of a friends to lovers kinda person, depending on how long you've known each other, and if she can trust you to keep a secret, she might introduce you to Donnie, and maybe even the other turtles.

💚 - Pass the vibe check, please, because if her brothers friends don't like you, I'm sorry but you're gonna have to go-

💚 - Now, if you do vibe with them, especially Donnie, maybe, just maybe, you might get an invite to become an official member of the DPFL [Dorky Pals For Life] club.

💚 - Being unable to comfort April on a bad day might lead to an awkward gap between you two at times, but if you two can talk it out, you'll be just fine!

💚 - As for reading between the lines, if you're unable to read a room, or understand a joke, or just something someone said, she'd got you covered <3

I hope you liked it! <33

[kinnsporsche]

SHOW eastenders SHIP ballum CHARACTER callum

EASTENDERS

Favorite character: 

callum highway baby

Least Favorite character: 

ian beale die already

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

ben and callum

jay and lola

ash and iqra

kush and martin

chantelle and whitney

Character I find most attractive:

you really expect me to pick just one when ben, callum, whitney, chantelle, mick, ash, iqra, all the panesar brothers, and jay all exist???? i refuse

Character I would marry:

marriages dont tend to work out on this show damn, but whitney im love her

Character I would be best friends with:

callum highway

A random thought:

i want keanu to shoot callum so we get some gorgeous ben x callum angst and an angsty i love you and i want lexi to draw him pictures whilst he’s in the hospital ee get on this thanks

An unpopular opinion:

i really enjoyed ben’s “you make me want to be better” line, i know a lot of people disliked it but with it being a direct parallel to how he was talking to phil about how paul made him better and want to be better i really loved it

My canon OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!

Non-canon OTP:

chantelle and whitney deserve to be together let them kiss

Most badass character:

callum highway no doubt about it boyyyyyyyyyy

Pairing I am not a fan of:

mick and linda

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

linda. i used to really like her but especially with how she reacted with johnny first came out i grew to hate her so quickly, and i really don’t think they’re handling her alcoholism sl well

Favourite friendship:

jay, lola, ben, callum, and lexi!!!! give me more of this family right the fuck now!!!!!

BALLUM

when or if I started shipping it.

i was so vehemently against shipping it at first because i didn’t want to get sucked back into the ee-verse, but seeing gifs of ben when he came back convinced me. he’s a character i’ve always wanted to see on screen, he’s unapologetically gay and always makes gay jokes about it like me and so many other queer people do and i finally got him and had to let myself get sucked back into it and then shipping ben and callum was almost like a natural progession from there. their dynamic is so chefs kiss and i love them sm 

my thoughts:

i have so many thoughts about them all the time lauren can attest to that we literally send each other paragraphs and paragraphs about them. the main thing about them that i love so much is their eye contact. it’s something thats so important and vital in their dynamic, they’re always looking at each other or looking for each other and even before they were a thing they were always making eye contact. it all comes right back to ben saying that he see’s callum but callum see’s him too and its something both of them haven’t had in so long?? nobody’s been able to just look at them and really SEE for so long and now they cant seem to ever look away from each other and they dont want to look away. the other thing thats so important in their dynamic is physical contact. they’re always touching each other like holding hands in the street or ben has his hand on callum’s thigh or callum is touching ben’s arm and shoulders because it’s such a reassuring gesture to both of them and they know they both need it. like, they both must be so touch starved?? ben has had physical touch, he’s super open about his sex life so we know that, but we know its canon that before callum he hadn’t just touched and been held in non-sexual ways since paul and callum has been pretending to be straight for 28 years and yeah he’s been touched too, but never in the way he really needed. when they meet in the park for the first time callum’s almost drawn to ben like a magnet and cant help but lean into him when he reaches out to touch him and the dam just BREAKS because he’s so starved of touch. and then when they get together its like constant touching because they both know that and its such a physical reassurance for the both of them and they’re not ashamed to admit that they both need it. ben isn’t tactile with many people, but he really is with people he cares about like lexi, jay, kathy, and now callum and i think that’s really important for their dynamic. anyway this got long and i could talk about this all day but i wont

What makes me happy about them:

we love representation baby!!!! and i love how devoted they are to each other, even if they show it in wildly different ways. callum is there for ben no matter what and chooses to defend him even when everybody else is against him, he sees all the good in ben where people would only ever see bad and chooses to stand by him through it all. and ben shows it so obviously whenever he tries to protect callum, like when he broke up with him because he thought he would ruin him and when he asked him if he wanted him to take care of leo. they both are so open and honest with each other and they really come into their own skin around each other. callum has become more confident and assured since they started dating and ben has become a lot softer and he isn’t afraid to be vulnerable now and everybody can see it. they both are two sides of the same coin and they bring out the best in each other!!

What makes me sad about them

oh don’t even get me started, ben is so fucking self-sacrificial. he pushed callum away to protect him even if it meant breaking his heart and callum pushed back and really challenged him even if it meant getting hurt more in the process. they both have had real difficult pasts and they’re so riddled with trauma and they could have so easily become closed off and cold but they didn’t, they both choose to love each other so deeply and fiercly 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me

it’s not so much of an annoyance but people making them sound super slangy or cockney makes me squirm

Things I look for in fanfic

the characterisation baby!!!! @sunsetsover has the best ben and callum characterisations in fics everything she writes is so flawless. 

My kinks:

i’ll never get over the fact that as soon as callum got back they stared at each other for a solid 30 seconds and then had desk sex in an unlocked office in the middle of the day on jay’s desk. also i would very much love to see one or both of them (particularly callum!!!!) get flustered over someone on the square noticing a hickey on their neck thank u very much

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

dont ask me this question the answer is nobody. they’ve set them up so deeply and their relationship is something thats so important and vital for each other that its hard for me to picture them with anybody else so seriously because of the established connection. 

My happily ever after for them:

ben, lola, jay, callum, and lexi all move away from the square together and live somewhere else as a happy little familly because its what they deserve. literally any ending where they end up together alive and happy

CALLUM HIGHWAY

How I feel about this character:

i love him with my whole ass heart i would die for him!!! i really want him to get his own sl soon, particularly the ptsd sl.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

ben mitchell

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i love his friendship with lola and jay!!!!! 

My unpopular opinion about this character:

let him be dark already, mans is dating a mitchell and actively keeping a murder a secret and the writers still expect me to believe that he’s a cookie-cutter butter wouldn’t melt guy?? no. give me more of the callum who beat the shit out of leo and knows how to defend himself. let him overhear someone on the square threatening ben or lexi and just decking them in the face.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

with the kidnapping sl i really want him to get shot, it would be an amazing parallel to ben getting shot in the vic and we’d get an angsty i love you from ben and some soft hospital scenes. BUT!!!!! i also want him to kick the shit out of keanu beforehand. he’s strong as fuck theres no way keanu would get the drop on him. maybe keanu threatens lexi or ben and callum threatens him and says if he even tries he won’t have to outsource his murder because he’ll kill him himself. i want ben, stuart, and jay to turn up and keanu’s got bruises and blood on him and callum’s just like “i wondered how long it would take for you to show up” just let him be the badass morally grey character that he’s growing into

My OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!!!

My OT3:

i don’t have an ot3 for them but i think the dynamic between ben x callum x tubbs could have been super interesting if they’d gone there

ask me things

[theoldgaylion]

Ship Ask

@missaristocrat sent me an ask with Holy Husbands from this post 

How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET?

What non sexual activities do they like to do together? As classic as it is, I picture them visiting museums (and churches, too, for architectural reasons other than faith): Tomas would buy audioguides for both of them but Marcus wouldn’t listen to his because he’d rather listen to Tomas talking about the exhibition (he really loves Tomas’ voice and the way he speaks, his natural charisma and his gesturality), Tomas would sulk a bit but then Marcus would sidehug him and everything would be alright. I also love the idea of the two of them giving charity, going around and helping people in need (for example visiting elders in nursing homes and lgbtqai+ communities). They like to go to books shopping, Tomas would try and fail to stop Marcus from buying bibles and such (he will use them as notebook for his drawings, you know that); he would buy books about astronomy and plants (don’t ask me why, I just like it skdjask) while Marcus would pick some about languagues (for when they do exorcisms but also because he really likes learning new languagues). When at home, Tomas would lay on their bed reading said books and Marcus would just sit next to the window and sketch (Tomas, a detail he remembers from his many travels around the world, a cute animal, a flower or plant, Tomas again, and again, and again).

Who does chores around the house? Both of them, sometimes they switch: one time Marcus does the dishes, next Tomas; when one of them is too tired, the other helps him or just does that himself. Just a soft couple being domestic. Tomas likes to do dishes tho, and Marcus to iron because both activities relax them.

Who’s the better cook? Definitely Tomas. Even though Marcus traveled a lot during his life, he never actually learnt how to cook, just the least to survive in the darkest times. Now and then Tomas would cook something his abuela teached him years and years ago and would start talking about her, and Marcus would eat while listening to him with a soft smile on his lips because Tomas’ eyes always look a bit melancholic whenever he mentions his abuela.

Who’s the funniest drunk? TOMAS. He clings on to everyone, but especially Marcus, and snorts and tells bad jokes he finds funny but then stops midsentence because he starts laughing by himself. Such a big dork, but we love him dearly for that.

Do they have kids? Uhm no, even if Tomas would like to join a program for fosterchildren when all the Big Shit™ is over. Marcus would be a leeeetle bit reluctant at first because of his traumatized childhood and shitty father, but then he would agree because he KNOWS how important for children is to have someone who love them unconditionally, who show them how to be kind despite the cruelty of the world. I think they would be great as fosterparents 😭😭💖💖

Do they have any traditions? I don’t exactly know how to interpret “traditions”, BUT I’ll say they celebrate their first meeting back to  St. Aquinas, when everything started for better or worse.

What do they fight about? Tomas’ reckless behaviour (especially during exorcisms) and Marcus’ low self-esteem.

What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one) I think they would both laugh, then Marcus would say “Well, we’re a match made in Heaven” and Tomas would nudge him while eye rolling, but he would actually smile becaue his boyfriend is a menace (and right) kdasjdksaj

Who cried at the end of Marley and me? Can’t say exactly because I’ve never watched it myself let’s just say Marcus….(?)

Who always wins at Mario kart? Tomas, having a young teen as nephew helps I guess 🤔 sometimes he lets Marcus win tho, BUT Marcus knows he does it on purporse and forces him to give him a rematch. It’s a neverending circle. Marcus would accuse Tomas of cheating (again, Luis) aaand at some point they would find themeselves horizontal on the sofa after a strenuous tickle fight 🌝💖

One thing I like about this ship? They…..just…..s-so…..soft…..with each other…….g o d…….. They’re two halves of the same whole, their personalities collide and balance each other so perfectly it’s unbelivable.

One thing I don’t like about the ship? That they aren’t canon because Fox decided to cancel the show :))))))

The song I would say fits them? HIM by Sam Smith. It’s just SO GOOD, I always think about them when I listen to it u g h.

A headcanon about the paring? Okay, it’s so random because I don’t have enough ideas right now but they LOVE to watch trash horror movies together, Marcus laughs his ass off every time while poiting out all the mistakes on screen and about the plot, and Tomas just LAUGHS and throws pop-corns at Marcus to shut him up. Also, Tomas asks Luis some titles even though Olivia forbade him to watch that kind of movies, but it’s their uncle-nephew secret ;))

Original post 

[bronanlynch]

writer rec meme

tagged by @girlfriendsofthegalaxy thank u friend!!

1. A fic you are proud of?

so I wrote my youth is yours (friends at the table: spring in hieron; benjamin/blue j) for secret samol this year during a time when I was. not having a good time and also had lots of essay deadlines and I was behind on my penumbra minibang fic so I. started working on it really late and barely finished it in time to not miss the posting period and I was so worried abt it and then somehow wrote the entire 5.3k thing in a few days and it turned out well?? people liked it??? so I’m proud of myself for somehow managing that

(side note looking back at it now is funny bc u can tell I wrote it before I fell completely into ephrim/throndir since the background ship is still throndir/red jack. although like. throndir has 2 hands and should kiss both of them tbh)

2. A fic you are excited about?

of the things that I’ve posted so far, I’m still really happy abt lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall (julius caesar; brutus/cassius) which is. incredibly silly and self-indulgent like. is it my best work? probably not! did I have a very fun time writing it? yes I did! it’s caesar but In Space and the worldbuilding is a mess of things stolen from various other sci-fi franchises and I’m so glad it exists in the world

a slightly more serious answer is I’m gonna love and give it a name (transformers comics; bumblebee/starscream) which I like bc. ok. there’s not much beescream fic and I’m super picky abt it and I like being able to reread this and get hit w exactly the emotions I want from this ship. I think the beginning could’ve used just a lil more editing but the whole second half makes me emo so

I don’t. do multichapter fic so I can’t really rec any wips which I feel like this is actually asking abt lmao. my main wips are the friends at the table thing I need to hurry up and post before the next episode drops, and the g*me of thr*nes fix-it/rewrite of most of canon bc it’s bad that I’ve been picking away at for. literally three (3) years now including when I lost all of it when my hard drive died in fall 2017 and I learned a valuable lesson abt backing up my shit. someday I’ll finish that fic and then I’ll be free of the hold that mess of a series has on my brain

3. A fic that was challenging to write?

when the sun comes (try not to hate the light) (the penumbra podcast; juno/nureyev + sasha/rita) was my penumbra minibang fic and it was. also written while I was having a hard time, I struggled w the deadline, and I’d never tried to write fic that long or plot-y before (I also ended up cutting basically the entire ~plot that was in my outline and just focusing on the emotional arcs and the vampire tropes which is. valid of me)

4. A fic that was something you hadn’t tried before?

bringing the heat and the word is out (friends at the table: counter/weight; diego/augustus) which I wrote for the fatt rarepair swap was the first time I tried to do something non-chronological and I was also balancing 3 point of view characters when I usually stick to one or two but I really like how it turned out, figuring out how to arrange the different sections was really fun

(also that’s a fic that I would rec even if u know nothing abt the fandom bc it’s minor side characters and has very little to do w the main storyline but it’s good and fun and up until the penumbra mini-bang I considered it the best thing I’d ever written)

5. If you had to choose one fic above all to share, what would it be?

tbh probably when the sun comes, bc it’s the most ambitious fic I’ve written and it’s recent so it’s prob a pretty good representation of me as a writer, but since I wanna. share something different for this question so

I could be violet sky (friends at the table: spring in hieron; samothes/hadrian/samot) is one of my absolute favorites tbh, I’m not sure how much sense it makes if u don’t have at least a little knowledge of hieron lore but I’m kinda tempted to say just read it anyway. there are divorced gods who are still in love and also both probably into someone who’s kind of the paladin of both of them. there’s clothes sharing and also dream sharing

sorry I know I was supposed to pick one and also that I’ve recced so many fatt fics even though probably only like 5 of you care abt that but I reread made of nebulas and novas and night sky (friends at the table: counter/weight; sokrates/integrity; written for the fatt nb swap last summer) for the first time since I posted it while looking through my ao3 for this meme and hey? it’s good actually?? do you like estranged siblings learning to get along again and someone realizing they’re basically married to the alien ai who shares their mind + body (think venom but they’re both a little less of a disaster)? then I have the fic for you! (can also probably be read without much background knowledge bc they’re fairly minor characters and also Imo u should read it anyway bc I think it’s p good)

oh man Idk who to tag for this, if you write things and you wanna do the thing, consider yourself tagged

[cicinicole-14]

13,14,20,23,28,30

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

um firstly, that bisexuals were a thing. I didn’t really know about that. and then like also that bisexuals don’t have to be 50/50. sometimes its 60/40 or 99/1 and thats okay. and also that, you don’t have to identify as anything. also that compulsive heteronormativity is a thing. I was drowning in it because I grew up in the south at a christian school and being gay is an abomination. and I was expected to grow up and while my parents never pushed the “grow up and marry a nice man” on me, they implied that id get married one day and have a family in the traditional sense. um, also, you aren’t obligated to come out to people and also you don’t have to come out to anyone or label yourself at all. and its okay if you don’t figure it all out right now. I thought you had to figure everything out and label yourself. hell fucking no you don’t n its great because I identify as bi right now, but I watched @sydsliftingface’s coming out video a few days ago and she said something that really has stuck with me the past few days and it was really important so I’ll touch on that. “theres a difference between that you could continue to kiss boys versus wanting to kiss boys” and I think thats really important because I’m kinda having another awakening to the fact that maybe I’m more gay that I originally thought huh? idk… come back to me on that… but that quote was really important to me and I’d like to thank her for that.  

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

everything will make sense. and you will go at your own pace. and you won’t realize the impact that one thing had on you until months later and hey remember your best friend that you thought of sometimes and didn’t know why? that was an actual crush, sweetie. and its okay to like girls too. also just like hey, everything will make sense. it will click. it takes time and whatnot. but you’ll be okay and you’re accepted. my friends that I’ve come out to have all been supportive and like I’m so happy now. things are really great in this aspect of my life. school? not so much… but we’re surviving. 

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

ugh fuck me theres too many. sanvers tho. like I think were going to go a little deep here for a sec. I’m going to say calzone and sanvers because listen up y’all. when I started watching grey anatomy in summer of 2013. calzona was the first wlw ship I had ever seen on my screen and it really opened my eyes to hey, lesbians/bisexuals exist and its ok to like them. and then with sanvers, I didn’t really realize it but I ended up watching supergirl s2 in like a day, and since that day (few days after it had been released on Netflix) I had just in the back of my mind been thinking more and more about my own sexuality and the way Alex had come out etc. and I came out later that July (I watched the show in may btw) ad like come November when 3.05 aired, It hit me how much that Alex/sanvers story really impacted my life and I didn’t expect that and was actually really upset by the breakup even tho I had prepared for it, knew it was happening etc. but like emotions can really fuck you up, y’all. 

23. have you ever been in love?

no. I’ve had feelings for someone, but never in love. 

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

I’m out to my friends, but my parents/family do not know. I don’t plan on telling them. I came out/accepted my sexuality right before I left for college and haven’t really gotten to assess how they really will feel about me being bisexual. so like. I’m closeted for now. 

as for friends. I texted @only-freakin-sunflowers and @unicornshepherdess. they were the first to know, and I posted a thing on tumblr, and came out to them because I knew they wouldn’t judge me at all. they were the first to know because I knew I didn’t have to be afraid to tell them. then, I planned on telling my best friend chelsey next, at home over Christmas break. that didn’t end up happening. the night of my sisters wedding I was a bit intoxicated with my best friend autumn who I’ve known since I was 2 and I didn’t plan on telling her next (she was last on my list) and we got to talking about sexuality or something (idr I was drunk) and I came out to her and she hugged me and I then knew it was all gonna be okay and then I spilled beer on myself fun times. then It was around finals week (nov 27th to be exact I know this bc I came out 7/27, 10/27, 11/27 and then sometime like 12/29.) I was face timing chelsey about Elle mills coming out video she had just posted and I was like “hey, chels, Yano how Elle came out to the world? well I’m coming out to u, I’m bi” and she just was like “awe Cecil I love you” and it was good. I told her I planned on telling her in person but I figured that moment was a good chance. and then when I got home she was actually with me and I told Claudia. @unicornshepherdess gave me a book for Christmas called “this book is gay” and I made Claudia read the back that says “this is for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, trans, undefined and even the straights. its for everyone!” and I told her to read that (I was pointing to it) word. and I was like hey thats me, I’m bi! and she laughed and hugged me. it was a nice moment. but anyway that was it. 

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

first off, I feel like you’ll never end up feeling 100% safe at all. but just know that you aren’t alone in that feeling. I am literally scared out of my mind at the prospect of telling my parents or them finding out. and tbh, I doubt they would do anything, they’d probably just hug me and laugh and tell raunchy non-offensive jokes and grab me a beer, but that nagging “but what if they hate you, you know they’re going to look at you differently now” is in the back forefront of my mind all the time and I’m scared. its terrifying. also that you need to accept yourself first completely, before you think about trying to come out in an unsafe space. 

my advice is that its okay to be scared, because you are not alone. 

so, we got real deep on these questions, but I would like to thank you, nonnie. I think I needed these tbh. 

[jujyfru1t]

hello my name is *yells about Furuba*

I dunno what I’m doing but I have Feelings so let me rant about them, by me.

Some of y'all may not know that Fruits Basket is my favorite series on the planet– well you do now. That comes with a caveat of favorite manga, not favorite anime (that honor goes to either Noragami or Chihayafuru, with Madoka Magica as an honorable mention). I do also love the anime dearly! But comparing them is like apples and oranges, horses of different colors, etc etc, not least because the anime was made before the manga was barely halfway through. futile hope springs eternal for a full remake. So most of my feels rant will be manga-centric although the general feels apply to the anime, and uh there may be spoilers idk it’s been out for a long time???

The first volume came out in the US five days after my *deep breath* 15th birthday. I got it for the next year’s bday present from my big sis, aaaand that was when the gates of otaku/manga hell swallowed me up (I was somehow unaware that Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh were also Japanese pop culture, go figure.) I have no memory of how I found the anime– my anime-bittorrent-whateverthefuck knowledge was nonexistent but I don’t think it was airing live. I got the box set for some Christmas but that would’ve been after I was a massive fan so *shrug*

Anyway I watched the dub first and holy hell if I wasn’t planning to marry Yuki Sohma before then I definitely was after that, thanks Eric Vale. (I still have huge love for the dub cast fight me). Yun-chan was my first 2D crush and tbqh I’m still in love with him. Also I stg he’s the whole reason why pretty boys are a Big Thing of mine. And wait omg Shigure’s first appearance?! Like, that’s probably why dudes with glasses are also My Thing wow I just blew my own mind but moving on

Fun fact I couldn’t choose between Kyoru or Yukiru bc they were both cute (present me@young me: u will realize eventually grasshopper) but I was 100% cool with Kyoru happening because of course then I could be with Yuki. Cue me dabbling in a few paragraphs of self-insert fic.

uh lemme cut this it’s becoming a novel

Random things (this whole thing is random wtf):

I was blessed enough to get my hands on the entire Tokyopop run, plus the fanbooks!!! before they shut down. I’ve been warring with myself for ages over whether to start collecting the Yen Press specials but. my resolve is weakening. I also have all of Takaya-sensei’s other stuff yeet (Phantom Dreams, Those with Wings, Songs to Make You Smile) except for Twinkle Stars which I’m def gonna get and OBVIOUSLY THE INSTANT FURUBA ANOTHER COMES OUT IM GRAB meanwhile if I remember to check out the scans

been a while since I reread it(it’ll be my third one~) but off the top of my head some favorite arcs etc are: obviously the major one at the end of vol 6. The Red Cap. Hatori and Kana (RIP ME) The Summerhouse (Jason the bear jfc). Akito’s reveal. Kyoko and Katsuya’s entire thing obviously (EXTRA RIP ME I’m crying just thinking about it). “The plum on your back” scenes. Kyo and Kyoko. THAT FIRST NEW YEAR’S WHEN YUKI AND KYO RACE BACK TO THE MAIN HOUSE BECAUSEtheir girlfriend MY DAUGHTER IS SAD AND LONELY AND THEY MAKE WISHES ON THE ROOF heck me upppp– also literally all roof scenes (karate kid Tohrutm) BUT THAT ONE HHGBNCCSV!!! Also my fav episode along with the AU-ish final 2.

Furuba fandom is my biggest fleet of ships by far which is hilarious bc I have a lot of fandoms and a lot of ships and you can see them bc i’m a derp but since nobody looks at that and nobody will read this (?) I’ma talk about them here. I DO WANT I WANT YO

but seriously I support

literally all the canon ships except HanaxShishou, pardon me Takaya-sensei but why. Wtaf.

a metric fuckton of non-canon ships bc of COURSE I DO

my low-key ships include

MomijixKagura. pairing the spares if you will XD

KaguraxTohru

RinxTohru. yes I have bi Tohru headcanons mmkay

Future!Kisa/Tohru (blame this fic)

KyoxUo.

YukixHana. all symmetrical-like (but wow i forgot i highkey shipped it for a while until…)

GurexAaya. like, come on. Also poly Mabudachi Trio

MomijixTohru. they’re super hecking cute ok, edging into high-key

my high-key ships include

HanaxUo. ok this??? is a big OTP, and 99% why I’m hella salty over HanaxShishou (at least KurenoxUo had an actual subplot!!). They are Tohru’s adoptive moms and I will forever protec (and yet. HanaxTohru and girls OT3 are also Good Ships but tbh super low-key) also I MADE SOMEONE SHIP IT

YukixTohru. see the start of this post way up there somewhere

KyoxYuki. my first rivalshiptm

HaruxYuki. “He was my first love” one cannot simply– have a character say this and not expect fans to ship. Also bi Haru is canon. lotta bi folks up in here imo

KakeruxYuki. CUTE GODDAMN DORKS WOW

But my flagship, my OTP to end all OTPs and my polyship to end all polyships in any fandom is the SS Yukyoru. KyoxTohruxYuki.

I’ve had polyship predilections for 6-7 years now, though it’s more recent I’ve started polyshipping every love triangle i encounter bc I‘m so done with them… there wasn’t really any lightning-bolt moment when I realized I shipped them much more together rather than apart. but like, I ship all three permutations so at some point my brain went HERE’S AN IDEA which tbh is how a lot of my polyships happen, i mainly have OT3s (if I ship 2 outta 3 there’s a good chance ima poly it)

but anyway! there’s absolutely no way to convey how much I adore this ship and IT’S A HUGE EMPTY YACHT I NEED CREW MEMBERS PLZ

I am building it up one fic at a time and if you’ve made it this far and have any interest at all plz read my shit and general Furuba screaming is appreciated as well of course!!! (also look at the most beautiful piece of fanart ever)

More fic! have my mixed bag of bookmarks (Sure For The Axis is my absolute fav, 2nd is Little Prayer) u can also find my Yukyoru stuff on AO3 ehehe~ and oh look HanaxUo!

and holy whoa i’m done. TLDR FURUBA IS THE BEST MANGA EVER AND YUKYORU IS THE PUREST RARESHIP EVER

THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

[defiestars]

some quick verse + tlj thoughts related info  * *  very uhHHH likely to change as i go / as i remember things more clearly if / when i subject myself to tlj again

i.  recovery   //    in the empire strikes back novelisation luke was in his bacta tank for 12 hours and then slept for another 16 hours for fatal hypothermia.  assuming bacta technology has advanced and become more sophisticated,  particularly because it’s now been synthesised into a suit,  i’d estimate finn’s recovery to have been in the 30-36 hour mark.  (   also, he’s force-sensitive but that’s A Whole Other Topic  !  )   

if we assume:  day 1 post-tfa:  rey staying long enough to get her hot new Grey Jedi Look together  +  organise the gps bracelet plan with leia.  the resistance receiving alerts that the first order fleet is approaching and beginning evacuation plans.  day 2 post-tfa:  finn wakes up,  half a day earlier than he did in tlj,  just in time to offer information on the weak points of the star destroyers and the dreadnought, including helping devise the plan to eliminate the dreadnought’s surface cannons and clear the way for the resistance bombers. 

ii.  allegiance   //   FINN OWES !! THE RESISTANCE !! NOTHING !!!!!!  HE DOESN’T OWE ANYBODY SHIT !!!!!!!  this boy has risked his life and livelihood time and again from the moment he chose not to kill for the first order for complete strangers,  for a movement he had no prior connections with.  even if leaving and becoming a  ‘’’’’’’ traitor ‘’’’’’ to the resistance had been right for his character and a valid development in his character arc,  he does not deserve to be called a deserter for wanting nothing to do with the first order ever again.  like........... does anybody fucking realise that alongside the very possible defeat of the resistance, finn being captured by the first order again probably means he wouldn’t be killed, but  reconditioned  ???????  the first order has had deserters, too !!   they also get tasered !  in the Head, specifically their Brain, where they’re basically restored to factory settings.  not to mention the sheer amount of bravery and courage and heroism it takes for him to turn around and face the organization that destroyed his childhood, enslaved him, and has systematically abused him every day of his life.

with all of that said,,,,,  it makes 0 sense for finn to decide, in the middle of the resistance evacuation, to suddenly up and leave with a shitty ass excuse about needing to be far away for when rey comes back.  like ??????  rey's path is already so deeply and inexorably tied to the rube goldberg machine that is the jedi, the resistance, and the skywalkers,  and finn knows this.  even if he wasn’t fundamentally a person with a moral compass that couldn’t be broken even by two decades of indoctrination into a fascist space nazi regime,  finn does The Things He Does because they’re the right thing to do.  his character arc is not and has never been defined by rey.  i don’t know what dinosaur sloth titty juice rian johnson’s been drinking but repeating parts of finn’s earlier character development to the point of regression is not !!! good !!!! writing !!!!!!!

given that he’s spent 36ish hours in a recovery coma,  finn hasn’t had so much as a Second to process,  or decide,  where he stands in the resistance.  like rey,  he too is looking for someone to show him his place in all this.  unlike rey,  he has no mentor figure, no introspective screentime alone,  no inner dialogue or space to explore who he is now in the post-first order part of his life.  but,  for the time being and given the time-sensitivity of the resistance evacuation,  he is absolutely on the side of the rebels.  these are the people who saved him and protected him,  who gave him the jacket off their backs and something to fight for.  not only does deserting make 0 logical or tactical sense in the middle of an evacuation,  it’s just outright selfish ??  and self-serving ???  none of which finn is, thank you @ryan johnson.

iii.  rebellion   //   so there’s been a lot of differing opinions on finn and rose’s storyline and after agonizing a lot of this i’ve come to the almost final decision that it’s Not As Bad as ppl want it to be.  like a lot of mischaracterisation fuck-ups in tlj,  it mainly comes down to  how this storyline was treated in the grand scheme of tlj and how significant it was to the overarching plot.  canto bight only seems irrelevant because ryan johnson is a terrible fucking writer who thrives off sidelining his characters of color.  thematically, it served it as a damning critique of the powerful ruling class and political economic elites that are actively profitting from the injustice and oppression of war.  rose showing those kids the resistance emblem in her ring is one of the most iconic moments in the film;  inspiring a whole generation of children to rise up against their oppressors is  everything the resistance symbolizes and fights for.  

throwing in an unnecessary oc spitting some half-assed  ‘ everything isn’t always good or bad, sometimes there’s just grey areas ’  message in a parallel of the jedi story and ultimately having the undercover mission serve No Purpose Whatsoever was a shitty move.  in keeping with the fandom interpretation that tlj is a story about failure,  this would’ve been okay  only  if  the detour onto the star destroyer hadn’t been for absolutely nothing.  because there Needed to be fucking somETHINg,  instead of just benicio del toro rihanna.gif winking with the parting words that  ‘ hey sometimes people are just assholes ’.  star wars isn’t a story... about... people being fundamentally shitty..... it’s a story about good vs. bad and the enduring struggle for Balance between them;  People Are Both.  it doesn’t matter what you are but what you  do  and the choice you have to do good or bad.  to counteract the shittiness of dj fucking off,  leaving two poc to be forced onto their knees by a white fascist villain,  and a black character to be slapped upside the face by said white fascist villain we needed Something.  WHERE WAS OUR STORMTROOPER UPRISING, hMMMmm MMm MMMM mMM MM ????????????

bb-8 showing up as deus ex sight gag was funny for 2.5 seconds but now i'm just.... like crait.... a whole Salt Planet.  we could have had, it All ?  i don’t even specifically know where this part of my tlj-divergent verse goes because it actually requires other non-canon characters to exist but.... hey if any ex-stormtrooper oc’s wanna hmu.... u kno where i’m at.  basically,  i picture a handful of stormtroopers defecting,  escaping with rose and finn,  becoming part of  the rebellion that is reborn. 

iv.  battle of crait   //   this... fuc king scene..... god.  let’s just get the wampa out of the way.  rose’s  ‘ that’s how we’re gonna win.  not fighting what we hate, saving what we love ’  was totally narratively undeserved.  this is not a criticism of the character but of ryan, again, the man who was paid millions of dollars to write this garbage.  in under 18 hours,,,, rose has decided that she has gotten over her lifelong hatred for the first order,  her very recent and fresh grief over losing her sister who died Fighting The First Order,  and oH,  she LOVES FINN ?  WHAT.  cool.  coolcoolcool.

in my canon, i’m going to go with the idea that rose did not kiss finn.  but they have a fantastic dynamic,  and rose crashing into him, saving him and saying something similar to what she said but more along the lines of not wanting to lose another person she cares about to the first order would have been much... better....  i view this ship as primarily platonic, at least far as tlj goes.  finnrey and finnpoe barely had any screentime / development so ryan johnson is flat-out playing no-homo games if he thinks he’s going to sail a ship based on 18 hours of knowing each other.  but i’m totally open to seeing where it goes with proper development, etc. in rp,  so if there are any rose’s that would like to plot with me and discuss finnrose stuff please !!!  i’m begging you !!!!  

if ya made it to the end,  thank you,  ur the real mvp,  u are now obligated to message me to plot or yell at me abt ur own tlj salt / headcanons / character analysis. 

[ssorethroat]

bnha, 001 for the ask thing ??? yre one of my fave mutuals even though we've never talked but yre so cool and yr art is amazing and ; A ;

 i OMG FIRST OF ALL I GASPED???? YOURE SO SWEET ; M ; i cant believe this .. im so sorry weve never talked before but i would love to start!!! you seem super cool and really kind and i looked for your art but i couldnt find any but u should link some …. ITD BE REALLY NICE TO SEE!!! TT v TT I HOPE I CAN GET TO KNOW YOU MORE THIS IS SO EXCITING IM SO HONORED.. ; M ; omg im making the text super small and putting it under a readmore bc this is SO LONGGNGJDFKNGKJFD

Favorite character: /shoves my entire deku shrine into closet while mumbling Uhhghudfgd oof i dunno .. IM JK ill be proud about it. the light of my life the joy of my heart is deku he tries so hard … it inspires me to try hard too … HAHAGDFJNGJKFD but i really do have a mini deku shrine in my dorm room i force my friends to say hello to my son before they enter. THATS WEIRD .. but im such a big sucker for the underdog story and i love the very .. long term take on the self sacrificing hero narrative where he literally just busts his bones out!!!! i like how he has to adapt his approach by dealing with realtime consequences for it!! i think it makes him a really interesting protagonist and i often dont find myself caring too much for the main protagonists like i do for him .. i love him :[

Least Favorite character: I MEANNNNN OK MINETA ASIDE BC I FEEL LIKE THATS A GIVEN… i dont really like monoma though i think its interesting what horikoshi did w him!! as in i just think hes annoying CRIES .. i dont think that means hes not a good character though ogdfnj WE’LL SEE!!

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): AHAGDKJNGJFKD ok .. i love todobakudeku n im just gonna say that or else the pairings inside that will take up 4 slots..  ooof i love erasermight … i love MOMOJIROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SO MUCH .. i also love iiocha … and miritama.. ; - ;

Character I find most attractive: OHHHHH OK …… OK ………. GENUINELY? i cant draw these ppl but i wish i could… Buckle yourself in but shouji mezo.. is like objectively so attractive like hes got the shark grin under the mask? the emo hair? hes after my heart … and? i love his personality its so strong and stoic .. shifty eyes .. ughhhggjnjn also .. blood king is SO hot. so is the dragon lady WHEWWW… ectoplasm is also like so hot i could die you know what if guillermo del toro could make his fish man have a butt that wont quit i can be in love with ectoplasm i want him to serenade me with all 36 of his clones

Character I would marry: OMG NOW THEYRE HITTING ME W THIS CHARA I WOULD MARRY QUESTION AFTER I JUST ADMITTED MY TASTE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE hmm i guess personality wise id want to marry momo actually shes so sweet and kind and CUTE she tries her best ; m ; ..

Character I would be best friends with: OMG I REALLY DONT KNOW im thinkin hard trying to compare my own best friends … on one hand? tokoyami and his mad banquet of darkness .. other hand? i feel like my friends are all as supportive and sweet as kirishima ..

a random thought: i really love TWICE as a character.. i think his backstory was the most interesting of the villains (that have been shown).

An unpopular opinion: AHHHHHH I HAVE A LOT!! BUT ILL SAY THIS (though idk if its unpopular) … i dont think the female characters are given good treatment NOT just costume wise. i think the only female character we’ve really gotten a fair amount of development (even approaching the level that male characters have gotten) of is uraraka and even then im kinda like  ehhhhhhhh this isnt enough … horikoshi does a good job showing female characters in strong positions doing strong things BUT i dont think thats the same as treating them with the amt of depth they need, giving them complex story arcs, etc. i also dont care for them being used simply as devices for the character development of male characters if they arent given stories beyond that. i hope we get to see eri some more and maybe her recovery bc i think horikoshi portrays abuse well and the healing process for todoroki was realistic. the dialogue for chisakis emotional abuse was really realistic to the point of me freaking out a lil bit LMFAO… another unpopular opinion is that i kind of dont care about endeavor’s potential redemption arc too much either way, i just hope whatever happens is handled with nuance…

My Canon OTP: deku capturing the hearts of the nation

My Non-canon OTP: bakugou x cognitive behavioral therapyMost Badass Character: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGNJFDGNJDF GANG ORCA. I ALSO CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT HIM I CHANGE EVERYTHING ABT MY ATTRACTIVE+MARRIED ANSWERS FIRST OF ALL, I WANNA GET PLOWED BY GANG ORCA, SECOND OF ALL, I WANNA MARRY HIM    I would give my whole life to gang orca. My canon otp is me x gang orca

Most Epic Villain: AHAHAHAGHDFNGJKAGHAGAFJGNKJD I HATE TO BE LIKE THIS BUT mr compress? truly? iconique…. i also love rappa he just wants to fight and honestly? relatable…

Pairing I am not a fan of: hmmm … i dont really dedicate a lot of time to disliking pairings but i dont really ship non platonic kacchako i just dont really like it bc it reminds me of some tropes ive disliked in the past!! i also am not really a fan of stabi :/

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): (snarls) SHINSOU WAS ROBBED secondly more attention needs to be given to hatsume mei. she is literally a genius prodigy mastermind and yet shes given like 3 pages after her ICONIQUE SHOW STOPPING performance at the sports festival .. give us more … 

Favourite Friendship: I LOOOOOOOOOVE THE MIDORIYA/URARAKA/IIDA TRIO!!!!!! I SAW SOMEONE I FOLLOW TAG THEM AS THE POWERPUFFS AND I LOVE THATTTTGNJDFKNGJKD I ALSO LOVE KIRIDEKUS FRIENDSHIP .. ; M ; and you know what? I think bakudeku is getting there .. i hope we can see them be good friends comfortable w each other !! AND IN LOVE!!  

Character I most identify with: WELL actually believe it or not its todoroki LMFAOOGNJKGFD not bc im as sweet or nice or cute or amazing as him but just bc i Hashtag Relate to his emotional journey following parental abuse.. i guess if you dont factor that in i also am equally terrible with kids when i had a brief stint as a volunteer teacher they were always dragging me i guess not for the five pee pee thing so i guess it could be worse but. You know 

Character I wish I could be: i wish i could be have my life together as much as aizawa does .. he always got his sleeping bag w him? he living in 3000017…

[fraink5]

Hello, I was tagged by a number of lovely people ( @bobwrites @chom-raaa and @missmizpah), so I am going to answer their questions. This is probably a great opportunity to learn about me!

Without further ado...

Bob’s Questions:

1. What’s the most replayed song on your playlist?

Itunes says it’s ABBA’s “Dancing Queen,” but I don’t believe that. Right now I’d say “Blaze” or “Hyakka Ryouran.” When ever I discover a new Kalafina song, this happens.

2. How would you describe your fashion style/attire preference?

Lazy. I just throw on whatever is easy-access. During these cold months, warmth is also an important consideration.

3. Favourite villain?  (from any fandom)

Uhh... I’d usually say Mori, but he’s sort of less of a villain now. But, I don’t particularly like many villains, so he stays.

4. Is ice cream x french fries disgusting or delicious?

Um... Ice cream is delicious. Fries, also delicious. Together? I don’t know. I’ve never had such a combination. I’m not going to put it off the table completely, but I’m also not going to line up to try it.

5. Favourite flower?

This seems to change every time, but I love hydrangeas, especially the blue/purple ones.

6. Last thing that made you laugh/smile?

I don’t know if it was the last thing, but

7. Someone/people you want to be w/ u in an escape room/horror movie?

Kirigiri. Does that count? If not, I’d pick @leio13 and @96percentdone.

8. Favourite thing in a fanfic/dream fanfic plot/trope?

What isn’t my favorite trope? Let’s see... I love sick fics, kisses (okay, that doesn’t count, but whatever), domestic fluff...  My dream fanfic plot would be one where Dazai finally gets the will to live then dies *evilly laughs* (which is why I’m going to write it; don’t let your dreams stay dreams, kids.)

9. MBTI type?

ISTJ. Even if Myers-Briggs is fake, it still is very accurate.

10. Favourite kind of characters?

Uh... I like characters who are a little messed up (some more than others) like Komaeda and Ryuunosuke (from Fate/Zero), characters who are my pure sons like Yukine and Titus, and strong female characters like Kirigiri and Riza Hawkeye.

11. Last thing you ate that you enjoyed?

I just ate a Mallomar, and it was delicious.

Chomra’s Questions:

1. Heroes gone bad or villains becoming good?

Hmm... I like both, but my sadistic personality prefers good to evil haha. I like crushing their spirits and warping their personalities. Especially my OCs. Ahaha

2. Did you ever get in trouble in school? When was the last time and what was it about?

Uh, no, not that I know of.

3. Hot drinks or cold drinks?

Cold drinks! I have yet to find a hot drink I like.

4. Any siblings? Older/younger? Would you have it any other way?

Two! And they are awesome! I would not change it at all.

5. You most prized possession?

This is difficult. I guess in the end, it would be the model catamaran I made in sixth grade.

6. What’s a fandom trope that makes you uncomfortable?

OMG this is like the opposite of the other one, and unfortunately, I have more to say. Whoops. In general, I don’t like m-preg, ABO, or non-con (these are pretty self-explanatory I think). I am not a fan of most ships where the characters canonically hate each other. In fandom specifics, I’ll list some briefly for Bungou (and specifically Soukoku): French/prostitute Chuuya, Fyodor in Soukoku fics, trying to suggest that Chuuya played a more important role in Dazai’s canonic history than Odasaku,...

7. What do find attractive in a fictional character?

Aha that was a joke sort of. In terms of personality, I think nobility (think Elliot Nightray) is very attractive. Also, a Megumi Ogata voice helps.

8. If could bring a character back to life but sacrifice another character in return (major-ish characters for those fandoms with a big cast), who would you choose?

Let’s see. Magi spoilers: I’d bring back Kassim and joyfully murder sacrifice Sinbad. Noragami spoilers: Honestly, I’d sacrifice Takemikazuchi or Kiun (hell, I’d do both if I had to) for Suzuha.

9. Long fics or short fics? In terms of both reading and writing?

In terms of reading and writing, short fics. I just can’t keep up with long fics though I try. A shame that a number of my fic ideas would be great multi-chapter fics.

10. Are you content with who you are?

Ahahahahahahahahaha no. I wish I were though. I strive to be happy with myself and to be the person I want to be.

11. What is holding you back from getting what you want?

Myself. (God, this became depressing. Sorry, fam.)

Emily’s Questions:

1. Opinion on nuts?

Nuts are good. There are many great types of nuts out there (peacans, pistachios, peanuts, cashews, almonds...); however, they don’t usually taste good plain.

2. Favorite book genre?

I don’t read books enough to have a favorite genre. If it has good writing and an intriguing plot, I’ll read it (or won’t read it because I rarely actually read.)

3. Worst injury/illness?

Yeah, okay, funny story. In seventh grade, we were making “singing apples” as part of a colonial day thing. Anyway, you put an apple on a metal skewer and roast it over a fire (probably a stupid thing to let middle schoolers do). So, my apple is ready--it didn’t “sing” at all if you were curious--and I’ve forgotten how to remove it from the stick, so I improvise. Whoops. I accidentally pinch the hot, metal rod with my fingers. Naturally, I yelped. When the teacher looked over, she gave me such a look, and deadpanned “You touched the stick, didn’t you?” So much shame. My fingers were in gauze for weeks. The damn apple didn’t even taste good.

4. What attracts you to someone platonically?

Err... this is going to sound silly, but if they actually bother to talk to me.

5. What was the last dream you had?

I don’t dream that much anymore. There’s one on the tip of my tongue, but it’s beyond retrieval. Sorry to disappoint.

6. Are you someone who eats cough drops like candy?

I had a cough drop once I think. I didn’t even know it was a cough drop at the time. So, no. I don’t really see the point. I just kind of suffer through my coughs.

7. Native language?

English

8. What size shoes do you wear?

U.S. size 8 or 8 1/2.

9. What is your current hair length?

With all its curls, it’s just beyond my chin. I think that it’s my favorite length.

10. One habit you’re sure is specific to you?

I can’t guarantee only I do these, but: taking off my sweater before getting under my covers, or taking a normal size gulp but swallowing it in extremely small gulps. Maybe snarking people in Japanese (as someone who doesn’t natively speak Japanese).

11. How far would you swim out into the ocean?

I would not. I am not a good swimmer, and I am not touching that wet sand nor seaweed.

I am not going to tag anyone nor write my own questions because I just did this ask meme recently, and frankly, I am depleted of ideas. If you read this far, thank you! You’re the best!!

[femslashrevolution]

I Am Femslash by SETI-fan

This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.

I was very surprised and touched to find out I’d been suggested as a femslash writer by readers to contribute something for this celebration, especially since I came out so late in the game, relatively. So, I decided that might be a topic worth discussing in itself: the role of femslash in my long journey to discovering who I was.

I read and see so many stories about lgbt+ individuals coming out in their teens or early twenties and knowing early on they were “different”. My situation wasn’t nearly so straightforward. I didn’t figure out how I identified until I was nearly thirty, and even then it still took some self-analysis to piece out what I wanted. This process was made a lot more complex than it should have been thanks to one particular speed bump:

My physical sex drive didn’t kick in until I was about twenty-eight. Nothing is medically wrong with me as far as I can tell, I just always was a late-bloomer, physically, socially, and apparently in this respect too. Don’t get me wrong, I had crushes in high school, but they were of a very PG-13 variety. I thought kissing could be fun and longed to hold hands and have sweet dates like I saw in the movies and TV shows, but when it came to the idea of sex? Ugh. I actually remember crying as a pre-teen when my mom gave me The Talk and explained that’s what happened. I had never had anything bad happen, it’s just like some part of me already noped out of that from day one.

(In retrospect, I’m very grateful I didn’t end up with any of the guys I crushed on in high school. Younger me…didn’t have the best taste and liked the idea of rehabilitating a “bad” guy with a good heart. Yes. I was that cliché. Thank you, life, for saving me from myself.)

Anyway, so in high school I wasn’t ready and in undergrad I was so preoccupied with school, work, and family drama at home that relationships weren’t a priority I thought much about. By grad school, I finally started feeling ready to give dating a bit more priority, but the old road block was still there.

Sex still didn’t sound remotely appealing. In fact, in many ways, it sounded repulsive.

I started thinking that I just hadn’t found the right person. I figured if the emotional side was there, then the physical side probably follow. If I really loved the guy, maybe that made the rest happen more naturally, or at the very least maybe I could at the very least tolerate sex if I didn’t end up enjoying it particularly. After all, I definitely found some guys handsome and had great emotional connections and blushing feelings with some. Maybe that could develop into more. The few unsatisfying dates and unrequited crushes I had didn’t get me any closer to wanting to explore that option, though.

Now, as this internal debate had been going on, my mom came out as a lesbian and I started acknowledging that option as being out there. I knew I had aesthetic appreciation for both men and women, I knew I tended to pay more attention to female characters in fandom than male ones and didn’t tend to go crazy over the actors everybody else did, but without the physical desire to reinforce things, I couldn’t tell where the line was drawn between just interest and attraction. But I quietly opened my mind to the possibility maybe I was a little bit bi, or at least okay with the idea that whoever I fell in love with could be in any gender’s body. I started getting flirted with by girls at conventions, and was flattered and intrigued, but nowhere near ready to take that step and actually make a non-straight move.

So how does all of this tie in with femslash? Because it was ultimately fandom that led me to a better understanding of what I wanted.

While I had kind of jokingly enjoyed a few slash ships in the past, the first one I actually seriously shipped was Princess Bubblegum and Marceline on Adventure Time. It started the same way I had with past non-canon slash pairings, “man you can find interpretations of scenes to make any pairing work with a bit of creativity”, but then the show actually was going there and it worked for these characters and I was in. The fandom was gifted with talented writers and artists who took the little hints and allusions the show slipped past network regulations and built gorgeous backstories and complex relationships for these two.

Unlike many people in fandom, I avoided smutfic in general. (See again my feelings of revulsion about sex.) But when writers I knew and enjoyed included scenes like that in their Bubbline fics, I stopped skimming past them and decided to go with it because their storytelling overall was so good. And then I started reading purely smut stories by writers I liked. And a little voice in my mind started saying, “So that’s what everyone’s been talking about all this time.” Suddenly, instead of thinking “don’t want to do that, ugh, maybe could tolerate that”, I was thinking “I’d try that, that sounds cool, ooh I want to try that…”

I’d never wanted to try anything before.

Around twenty-eight years old, the physical side of attraction finally kicked in, likely helped along by the coaxing in these stories, and to my great surprise, it only kicked in for girls (and a range of nonbinary situations that are more case-by-case since I dig androgyny too, but I’m going to oversimplify a bit here before this becomes an even bigger essay since the focus is femslash). I’ve tried reading straight erotica and felt the same lack of appeal. I can still find guys handsome and imagine kissing or cuddling with them and enjoying emotional relationships, but when it comes to going any farther than that, I recoil.

But suddenly it was like I was given permission to let in the feelings that, when I think back over my younger life, were honestly there all along, just muted and unrecognized. Heteronormativity, yes, but made harder by the lack of a sex drive too. The signs were there, I just didn’t have the libido to reinforce what I was thinking and give it that full meaning. Femslash let me tentatively explore that world before I was ready to take the first steps toward actually asking out or accepting an invitation from a woman in real life. Baby steps into allowing myself to feel those things.

And then the new Ghostbusters and Holtzmann hit me like a ton of bricks and I’ve pretty much just leapt off the cliff at this point, cheering all the way down. (Huge appreciation and apology to my best friend who’s had to put up with me turning into a teenager at thirty-one and tolerated my fangirling patiently. I’m leveling out some, I promise.)

Femslash opened that door in a way no other erotic fics or content ever had before. It’s stories about female sexuality written by women, for women. It was a perspective I hadn’t encountered before (especially since I wasn’t going to talk with my mom about her own personal experiences that way and the only other gay people I knew were men). It included women my own age talking about coming out later and discovering yourself and negotiating female-female relationships. And there are so many writers using it as a way to expose young and/or inexperienced readers to important concepts on healthy relationships, like navigating when mental illnesses affect one or both partners. Or how to communicate through emotional times and express your needs without shutting down and distancing from each other. Or even just the safe ways to explore kinks and how to provide aftercare and discuss boundaries and consent. God, the inclusion in some of these stories of how communication and consent don’t take a thing away from the passion and sensuality of the moment is incredible and should be part of every young person’s education on how to be a good sexual partner. I know not every fic is written to be realistic and healthy, nor should they be, but it’s so nice to see people using the medium to provide healthy role models as well, not just pornographic fantasy.

So yeah, I’m still at the beginning of my journey into embracing this new development and find someone to have a real-world relationship with, but the door is open now and I’m finally comfortable exploring those interests and I feel like I’m not going into this world completely blind and naïve. And I finally want to pursue a relationship like that instead of vaguely dreading it and hoping things work out okay. I don’t have to settle. I know I can find happiness and experience a physical relationship to its fullest. Femslash did that for me. I’m sure it’s done that for a lot of other young women. Hopefully most didn’t have to wait as long as I did to find that peace with who they were and what they wanted in life.

About the author:

I’m a biology teacher, writer, and artist who first experienced fandom as a 12-year-old obsessed with Star Wars and joined the internet fandom at 15, back at the turn of the millennium. I’ve been writing fics (under this same screenname) ever since and think I’m finally starting to get decent at it.

http://seti-fan.tumblr.com http://archiveofourown.org/users/SETI_fan/ https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2430050/SETI-fan

[the-cryptographer]

miranova23 (@kaiba-fangirl​​) replied to your photo:

Hey no prob! On mobile rn (& should be doing hw <.<) but as far as the ~controversial~ ships, I know they can still be aged-up or the ship name used for just any other kind of relationSHIP. Heck, most of the characters are canonically underage, and there's even the reveal of Seth & Atemu being cousins, buuut it's Ancient Egypt, & does that mean their reincarnated spirits count as cousins??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ btw finally wrote out a long-time-coming brothershipping post. we seem to be on the same page though 👍 As far as ettushipping i don't really have anything else rn i guess... but I'll keep u in mind =)

It took me a minute to realise you were referring to locketshipping aka tabloidshipping aka incesty Mokuba/Seto. For some reason, probably just wishful thinking, I thought at first maybe you meant battleshipping (Jou/Seto/Yuugi) or buddyshipping (Honda/Jou)...

I made the statements I did without really contextualising them within the context of the ygo fandom. It didn’t occur to me you were referring to a distaste for the fandom presence of certain ships or the way they’re presented. So... sorry I got kind of weird on you in the tags.

below the cut is tl;dr about controversial stuff and incest and sibling abuse

re: tags. I know people in fandom use the term ‘pedophilia’ as a catch all for... whatever they view as having the potential of including child sexual abuse. I personally think maintaining the distinction between pedophilic and ephebophilic attraction patterns (which people may or may not act on), and acts of child sexual abuse (for which attraction may or may not be a factor) is important. But really I knew what you meant when you said what you said, so I realised I was being pretty nitpicky. But also, even more generally, I think people should be free to write about controversial and potentially disturbing topics, so long as they realise what they’re doing and include proper tags/warning.

re: scandalship. Usually when I’m talking about incest ships I’m not talking about cousins. Not that cousin incest isn’t technically incest, but it’s allowed in most of the world today including some US states. And it doesn’t have the same kind of relational baggage as parent or sibling incest. The bigger part of what makes things incest in my mind is the person having been closely involved in the other person’s formative childhood development in capacity as a parent or sibling, and it almost without exception coincides with abuse. Malik/Rishid is an incest ship in my mind because Rishid was undoubtedly a brother to Malik during his upbringing. (Isis/Rishid is harder for me to make a call on because we see less of their relationship. It’s not clear whether they were raised together in an intimate proximity, or whether they really relate as siblings. So, depending on what headcanons you’re working with, I think both incestuous and non-incestuous interpretations of a romantic relationship between them could be valid.)

But, in terms of what you were talking about in your post here - I haven’t run into a lot of Mokuba/Seto personally - not enough to view it as some sort of fandom problem. But admittedly I haven’t gone looking for fics specifically featuring the two of them, so maybe that’s why. I know I’ve seen someone else also complain about the abundance of Mokuba/Seto in the search for gen fic, and I also had a similar experience pretty recently, so presumably it is a common fandom experience. I was searching through doujinshi on pixiv and opened something that I assumed to be Kaibros gen but was not. I had actually long since thought the internet has massively desensitised me to everything, but I actually shuddered irl. This isn’t to condemn the artist - admittedly I think everybody should label/tag things like that but I assume they did and I was the one that went around clicking links without taking the time to read the Japanese. But from a perspective of what I found disturbing was the kind of ease that you described in your post - that kind of moves between something I’d consider part of a very close and caring and acceptable sibling relationship, to something unacceptable that immediately undermines the validity of Seto and Mokuba hugging or sharing a bed in a nonsexual context, but also tries to capatalise on and continue off of the ‘cute’ vibes set up by what could have once been reasonably interpreted as a platonically intimate gesture, instead of a symptom of abuse.

(Yeah, for the record, I don’t think it’s abnormal for siblings to be physically affectionate to a degree. A lot of siblings aren’t as close as you and your brother, even siblings with more or less amiable relationships, but I agree it’s odd and unfair to assume that you guys can’t or shouldn’t be platonically affectionate. Otoh, though, I feel like it’s not always easy to spot a family resemblance, so I get how people may be confused. And also just wanna throw out there that sibling sexual abuse is more common than anybody wants to admit, and there’s a critical lack of attention towards the issue compared to rarer types of child sexual abuse, so it’s unfortunately possible that people are projecting their own unhealthy histories and dynamics onto you.)

But, hmm, there was another case I had where I ran into (appropriately warned for) Mokuba/Seto that I think handled the topic pretty delicately. It was about a Seto that had a plethora of sexual desires (including feelings for Mokuba) that he felt unequipped to find an outlet for - partly because of the ferocity with which he isolates himself and pushes away human contact. It was an unsettling story - but what made it palatable for me was the way both the narrative and Seto himself were keenly aware of how inappropriate acting on such desires would be. Seto’s guilt-ridden, convinced of his own monstrosity, and desperate to escape to VR (or wherever he can go to not deal with anything even remotely like an emotion). Seto immediately understands this attraction poses a threat and threatens to topple every way in which he’s tried to protect Mokuba. And Mokuba’s increasingly worried for his brother, and too naive to really understand exactly what the big deal is - even when Seto crosses the line and kisses him (and immediately pushes Mokuba away and runs off and curls up into a ball of self-loathing). And, when VR proves to be an insufficient method of escaping his own humanity, Mokuba finally convinces Seto to reach out to Yuugi, and Seto agrees because - even thought the last thing he wants to do is reach out to anyone - he cares more about remaining a good brother to Mokuba than maintaining the comfort of his own emotional isolation. So it becomes a reassertion of how much Seto values Mokuba as a brother and puts him first, rather than an expression of sexual violence.

I’m not saying this story is something for everyone (it’s not. it made me uncomfortable at times. and the solace that it was meant to make me uncomfortable was enough to soothe me, but I realise that’s not enough for everyone.) It also doesn’t blend with my personal headcanons, tbh, and it’s not something I would be interested in writing about with regards to Seto and Mokuba. But as a reader and letting the author take the reins, I enjoyed the fic, and I see the merit in it exploring the concepts it did. Far more than I see the merit in exploring Seto and Mokuba in the context of ‘aw, cute they’re hugging. now they’re kissing. uwu’ But, idk, I’m also not the arbitrator of what fiction has merit or isn’t too irredeemably creepy for anyone other than myself.

idk, like I said, I haven’t run into much Mokuba/Seto during my (mostly relatively recent) run of the fandom. Maybe it’s a bigger issue than I envisioned. And, well, I can’t stop people from creating fanart of Kaiba and Mokuba cuddling with whatever understanding they have of the circumstances behind the scene. But- yeah. I don’t support locket-/tabloid-/brother- shipping them in that manner. I’ve heard a lot of people just say ‘Kaibros’ to refer to Seto & Mokuba as a unit. But I don’t know if there’s a consensus on what people use as a tag for gen Seto & Mokuba things *shrugs*

(And, um, just more generally regarding the Kaiba brothers - I think they can be pretty unhealthily codependent, but no more than I’d expect two brothers having been through foster care and alone against the world to be. I don’t mean to undermine how important and loving and their relationship with one another has been, and how much it has been a saving grace for them.)

Anyhow, sorry for this upsetting tl;dr but- Thank you again! And, lol, yes! Keep me in mind for all things ettushipping related! And polarship and pupship and rivalship and battleship and 5000 other things tbh, lol.

[theoldgaylion]

holy husbands for the ship ask! ♥

How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET?

What non sexual activities do they like to do together? As classic as it is, I picture them visiting museums (and churches, too, for architectural reasons other than faith): Tomas would buy audioguides for both of them but Marcus wouldn’t listen to his because he’d rather listen to Tomas talking about the exhibition (he really loves Tomas’ voice and the way he speaks, his natural charisma and his gesturality), Tomas would sulk a bit but then Marcus would sidehug him and everything would be alright. I also love the idea of the two of them giving charity, going around and helping people in need (for example visiting elders in nursing homes and lgbtqai+ communities). They like to go to books shopping, Tomas would try and fail to stop Marcus from buying bibles and such (he will use them as notebook for his drawings, you know that); he would buy books about astronomy and plants (don’t ask me why, I just like it skdjask) while Marcus would pick some about languagues (for when they do exorcisms but also because he really likes learning new languagues). When at home, Tomas would lay on their bed reading said books and Marcus would just sit next to the window and sketch (Tomas, a detail he remembers from his many travels around the world, a cute animal, a flower or plant, Tomas again, and again, and again). 

Who does chores around the house? Both of them, sometimes they switch: one time Marcus does the dishes, next Tomas; when one of them is too tired, the other helps him or just does that himself. Just a soft couple being domestic. Tomas likes to do dishes tho, and Marcus to iron because both activities relax them.

Who’s the better cook? Definitely Tomas. Even though Marcus traveled a lot during his life, he never actually learnt how to cook, just the least to survive in the darkest times. Now and then Tomas would cook something his abuela teached him years and years ago and would start talking about her, and Marcus would eat while listening to him with a soft smile on his lips because Tomas’ eyes always look a bit melancholic whenever he mentions his abuela. 

Who’s the funniest drunk? TOMAS. He clings on to everyone, but especially Marcus, and snorts and tells bad jokes he finds funny but then stops midsentence because he starts laughing by himself. Such a big dork, but we love him dearly for that.

Do they have kids? Uhm no, even if Tomas would like to join a program for fosterchildren when all the Big Shit™ is over. Marcus would be a leeeetle bit reluctant at first because of his traumatized childhood and shitty father, but then he would agree because he KNOWS how important for children is to have someone who love them unconditionally, who show them how to be kind despite the cruelty of the world. I think they would be great as fosterparents 😭😭💖💖

Do they have any traditions? I don’t exactly know how to interpret “traditions”, BUT I’ll say they celebrate their first meeting back to  St. Aquinas, when everything started for better or worse.

What do they fight about? Tomas’ reckless behaviour (especially during exorcisms) and Marcus’ low self-esteem. 

What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one) I think they would both laugh, then Marcus would say “Well, we’re a match made in Heaven” and Tomas would nudge him while eye rolling, but he would actually smile becaue his boyfriend is a menace (and right) kdasjdksaj

Who cried at the end of Marley and me? Can’t say exactly because I’ve never watched it myself let’s just say Marcus….(?)

Who always wins at Mario kart? Tomas, having a young teen as nephew helps I guess 🤔 sometimes he lets Marcus win tho, BUT Marcus knows he does it on purporse and forces him to give him a rematch. It’s a neverending circle. Marcus would accuse Tomas of cheating (again, Luis) aaand at some point they would find themeselves horizontal on the sofa after a strenuous tickle fight 🌝💖

One thing I like about this ship? They…..just…..s-so…..soft…..with each other…….g o d…….. They’re two halves of the same whole, their personalities collide and balance each other so perfectly it’s unbelivable. 

One thing I don’t like about the ship? That they aren’t canon because Fox decided to cancel the show :))))))

The song I would say fits them? HIM by Sam Smith. It’s just SO GOOD, I always think about them when I listen to it u g h.

A headcanon about the paring? Okay, it’s so random because I don’t have enough ideas right now but they LOVE to watch trash horror movies together, Marcus laughs his ass off every time while poiting out all the mistakes on screen and about the plot, and Tomas just LAUGHS and throws pop-corns at Marcus to shut him up. Also, Tomas asks Luis some titles even though Olivia forbade him to watch that kind of movies, but it’s their uncle-nephew secret ;))

Send me a ship!

[delllamortes]

1-30 ANSWER'EM ALL I WANNA KNOW ALL THE GAY ABOUT YOU

oh dear lord ok

1. describe your idea of a perfect date: hmm…nothing fancy, maybe just like grabbing some fast food to eat and driving around listening to music, maybe taking a walk through the park at some point? or even just going for coffee somewhere tbh, i’m easy to please 😂

2. whats your “type”: ooooh that’s a tough one?? idk if i have a type per se, but i do find myself attracted to ppl with shorter hair generally? not always, but often lmao

3. do you want kids?: i don’t think so tbh. i’m not good with kids and honestly i just wanna live my life for me and not worry about taking care of a kid for 18+ years u know?

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?: if i did want kids i’d most likely adopt

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on: i’ve been on one (1) date and it was with a gross boy who smelled like musty basement back when i was like 16 or 17 and it was just a bad time all around tbh

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?): seeing as my dating life is nonexistent, i’ve yet to reach that point yet

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?: night time for sure i’m not a morning person at all

8. opinion on nap dates?: I LOVE NAPS AND I LOVE CUDDLING SO NAP DATES SOUND WONDERFUL

9. opinion on brown eyes?: i have brown eyes myself and it took me a while to love my own eyes but i’ve always loved brown eyes on other people ❤

10. dog gay or cat gay?: cat gay for sure, but i do love dogs too (i have 3 of my own)

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?: YES I LOVE RODENTS AND REPTILES

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone: hmm…if they’re trying too hard and they think they’re god’s gift to earth, then honestly i lose interest so fast

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?: well back when i was younger, i was convinced that there always still had to be a man and a woman in the relationship role-wise bc hetero couples were the only thing i could really base non-hetero couples off since it was all i’d ever known :’) also i was under the gross assumption that if you’re bi, you eventually have to “pick a side”, thank god i grew outta that

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self: god i’d tell her to think a little more deeply about who she is instead of wasting years being in denial lmao

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?: i would definitely say yes?

16. who is an ex you regret?: not necessarily an ex but i definitely regret going on a date with that guy

17. night club gay or cafe gay?: both? both.

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for: no one tbh

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?: VIDEO GAME GAY

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not): viktuuri 😭 i love my boys

21. favourite gay youtuber: honestly i don’t really follow any youtubers closely so idk

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?: nope i’m too much of a wimp to ask anyone out

23. have you ever been in love?: i think so

24. have you ever been heartbroken?: nah

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone: i don’t ever really get the urge to be someone else tbh, so making the distinction is easy for me

26. favourite lgb musician/band: i listen to an embarrassing amount of hayley kiyoko but halsey is my fav for sure

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays: even if you feel like you’re alone in this, i promise you’re not. and you may not have other lgbtq+ friends quite yet, but i promise you’ll find some and you’ll feel like you’ve found your home in them, just be patient ❤

28. are you out? if so how did you come out: i am! i first came out to two of my best friends through text messages bc im a ween, then i came out to the rest of my friends when we were out one night and i had some of that Liquid Courage™ in me, then i came out to my mom (not a fun experience), and then i came out to everyone on facebook eventually!! (absolutely no one was surprised)

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have: well the most uncomfortable one was when i came out to my mom i guess, bc she didn’t really take it well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to this day she does her best to ignore that it ever happened tbh

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality: your appearance is one thing you have at least some degree of control over, so there’s always the option to express yourself through your style and such? idk tbh i’ve never really had to think about it bc my situation is far from dangerous….just keep yourself safe above all, because eventually you’ll be away from the unsafe place and you’ll be able to express yourself exactly the way you want to