#how do i proccess stuff

[minisnail]

i feel so numb squirtle

[mitskisfirstborndaughter]

lowkey this whole ticket / reselling situation w the new tour mcr announced has made me realize that y'all need to stop pretending gerard way (and obviously the rest of the band too) is a baby. I get that you people want to fuck him or the version of himself he was about 18 years ago or whatever, but that's a grown ass man with a fully developed functional sensible brain, stop sucking on his tits and THINK. Him and the band had the option to turn off dynamic pricing and didn't. I'm not saying they were ill intended or that they are trying to be cashgrabs or WHATEVER, but be skeptical. Sure, their music is fucking amazing and they've done a fuck ton of amazing stuff and I don't doubt one bit that the tour will be fucking surreal but QUESTION THEM from time to time. nothing wrong with holding your idols accountable ocassionally if they do something shady. we don't need to cancel them bc if we're realistic thats not gonna work and it's not necessary either, but I wish people would THINK!!!!! and not reduce their thought proccess to "oh but gerard way can do no wrong" like that's a human being of course he can (and has done so many times, which ppl refuse to acknowledge, but that's for another post)

Also I forgot to add that I'm not trying to say that it's his fault only, but rather this is more talking about how often the fandom selectively infantilizes him and makes him out to be stupid when hes really not. Like I saw someone complaining abt the tickets and whatever but finished it off with "I don't even think Gerard knows what dynamic pricing is" like ???

[crossingthedreams]

promise — javier peña x f!reader

a/n: as a latin american woman who works with human rights (hey, now you know something you didn’t!), when I first watched Narcos I wanted to kill the producers. it’s a very north-american-centered production, even with all the accurate content. but it did grow on me, and the acting is superb. I loved javier’s character, and i’ve been wanting to write something about him. and tbh, this sounded like something that would happen. it’s short, because it hits close to home for me, but I might write stuff like this in the future. anyway, here’s (late, obv) @angstober day 09 — promise. 

summary: sometimes, a person breaks their promise. and isn’t that the biggest fucking tragedy?

word count: 369

warnings: angst.

“You promised, Javi”, you spoke, tears streaming down your face. “You promised no more investigations, no more violence, no more. You promised me”. 

You were fully aware your voice was sounding more and more choked. You didn’t want to wipe away the tears, you couldn’t. You barely had the strength to talk, let alone move right now. 

Once more, Javier was leaving. This time, for God knows how long. After he had promised everything would be alright, that everything would work out. 

You weren’t unreasonable, you didn’t expect him to solve all the problems you’d ever have. No, you just expected him to be there — there at birthdays, Christmases, Easters, and all that crap. That’s all you wanted from him, and apparently, that was too much to ask. 

He had said he would take you with him, that the two of you would stay together, but you couldn’t go. You refused to be his little wife keeping his home clean and neat while he was risking his life everyday. Not because there was anything wrong with housewives, but because you and him agreed on something else. You leaving your home and work to be closer to him while he put himself in danger every single day was not part of that agreement. 

You loved him. Right now, you had to love yourself more. 

The promise he made was no good, and it was the very last straw. Because as he was leaving, you saw it in his eyes that he expected you to forgive him and go with him to a different continent, to fight a sovereignty-defying semi-imperialist nonsensical war in another country that would kill more innocents than guilty. You wouldn’t. 

Because even if the promise he made you was breakable, the one you made yourself wasn’t. You wouldn’t create a life in which you’d be scared to wake up everyday and regret corroded you inside out like it did your mother, and her mother before her. 

Javi had hugged you before leaving, and the smell of him still impregnated your nostrils. You both were doing what you believed to be the right thing. Too fucking bad it cost your relationship in the proccess. 

[ladysmutwriter]

Imperfection

Reiji Sakamaki x Reader

After realizing he's not at perfect as he wants, Reiji has a meltdown which causes you to avoid him.

WARNINGS: dub-con, shuu being a dick, reiji being a dick but not as bad as Shuu, bad(?) ending, i sorta lost the original plot at some point lo

<p>Your face turned into one of disgust as you drank the tea, it tasted horrible and made your stomach instantly turn as you swallowed it.</p>

<p>You usually spent your afternoons helping Reiji with whatever he needed and then you two would share a cup of tea as you read some sort of book, afterwards you'd share opinions on the books you were reading.</p>

<p>Reiji instantly noticed your reaction, asking you what was wrong- after you gave him your cup he smelled it, realizing he accidentaly used one of his poisonous teas instead of the normal tea you'd drink, his eyes opening wide as he saw how your face went pale and you became dizzy.</p>

<p>(...)</p>

<p>You woke up, your head aching and your whole body felt as if you had fallen of a 10th floor, being extremely painful to move, you moved your head to see the clock; 04:40 AM- how long had you passed out? There was a surum holder with the needle injected in your hand, and a few medicines on your night stand.</p>

<p>You fell back asleep, until the morning rays woke you up.</p>

<p>Feeling better, you went downstairs -after taking a bath and changing clothes-  to do your usual routine with Reiji, surprised when he didn't even greet you, giving you the cold shoulder as he kept on with his stuff, after trying to get his attention to no avail, you got tired once he slapped your hands off of the table, giving him a dirty stare as you turned and left, deciding to go to the Living Room to read a book or at least clear your mind.

Was he upset with you? After all the poison tea stuff was his fault, not yours- but you knew how unfair Reiji was sometimes, since he saw everyone as dumbasses. Sitting in the dark couch, you read a book as you felt slowly how sleepy you were, after all your body was still sore, opting to leave the book in the table across you to take a nap.

As you slept, a shadow approached you, blonde messy hair getting on top of your body as it joined your slumber.

You were woken up by your lungs huting from trying to properly let you breath, 65k on top of your body- opening your eyes, you met two sleepy blue eyes staring at your face, fangs poking through his lips as his eyes slowly went from your face to your neck. Before you could even try to push him off of you he took your wrists and pinned them over your head, his mouth going to your neck, opening a new wound as your blood filled his mouth. 

You began squirming trying to take him off of you, him only biting harder until you stopped moving, too tired to keep fighting back. You knew he was just doing this to despise Reiji, and he saw you two he'd be even more pissed at you- at you knew how bad things got whenever a Sakamaki got pissed, specially since you were nothing but a fragile human compared to their inhuman strength and power.

As Shu retreated his face from your neck, with his usual uninterested face he went to attack over your collarbone, biting down, repeating the proccess until you felt lightheaded, multiple fresh wounds adorning your neck, you slowly loosing consciousness, not even realizing when his lips were on yours, the taste of your own blood invading your tongue, but you were too far gone, blacking out in the middle of the kiss.

Getting bored of kissing your limp body, Shuu got up and left, leaving you passed out in the couch.

After noticing your long absence, Reiji began searching the Mansion for you, after all he was angry at himself, but looking at you and remembering how he almost killed you hurt his ego too much, knowing specially how you'd forgive him.

Walking down the hall, Shuu was sleeping on a room with the door open, getting inside to see if you were there he instantly felt the scent of your blood coming from Shuu's form, but you were nowhere to be seen, feeling his blood boil, he got out and went to the Living Room, finding you sitting on the couch, eyes lost as you tried to get up, but in his blind rage he didn't even consider your current state; grabbing your face with his gloved hand and seeing the drool mixed with blood running down your lips, the multiple bites and your clothes all wrinkly he let go of your face, and before you could muster a word he slapped you, hard enough to make you fall of the sofa.

"ふしだらな女"

Was all he said before leaving the room, leaving you on the floor trying to understand what had happened. Against your body begging for rest at the lack of blood, you got up and went behind Reiji, ocassionaly falling to the floor as you finally found him on the kitchen, brewing some tea- leaning against the counter you tried to explain to him what had happened, and how you weren't angry at the tea incident, tears falling from your eyes as you tried to reason with him.

He turned to see you, his mind conflicted. His gloved hand went to caress your face, as he opened his mouth to speak, everything went black, your body giving up after the significant lack of blood.</p>

[aranock]

Just had someone claim that I maliciously stole ideas from a friend without acknowledgong them when said friend is litterally in the video, and I was in the video I supposedly took thing from, despite my not even once thinking about either thing as being even remotely similar. Like not even slightly an influence. Also I am pretty open about when something influenced me. I don't exactly hide it. Idk I feel like people are really stretching to find anything they can hate Jessie and I for this video with. Like really? Really?

Anyway just to be clear The Editor is not a ripoff of my friend Neil from The Leftist Cooks video on metamodernism, great video btw go watch it. I wrote the editor in because as I was doing the script editing proccess on Jessies initial script and came up with a new structure and worried that if I didnt draw attention to this people would maliciously misinterpret part 1 without getting to the part 2 twist. The Editor is LITTERALLY representing what I did in the script editing proccess for this video. Though there role and purpose expanded to represent more broadly what editing and editors do to works, reinforcing the points we make on art as collaborative and the importance of the influence of for example Marcia Lucas on making the original trilogy as good as it was. If there was any inspiration for The Editor it was chatting with my friend @wonderful101gecs about Pathologic and Brechtian Epic Theatre. I wanted to disallow the audience from suspension of disbelief and force them to reconcile with the world as it is and with how narratives are manufactured. Even then its pretty loose inspiration. The Editor was just a natural result of needing a purpose fulfilled and rounding out my layers within layers structure. Im not sure if it was Jessie or I that named them that, but we made them a named character because we worried at one point early on if we didnt do that people might get really shitty towards me. Like originally in the script it was just "Aranock" and as they became a character I pushed it further towards them being a sort of amoral embodiment of concepts masquerading as a villain who was masquerading as a Hero, pretendint to be the great person behind everything. Thus I came to "oh I need a second rug pull" and thats where layer 5 came from because I needed to really REALLY make the audience go "oh I need to question the narrative" and not treat The Editor as the great man myth. Layer 1, the animation, came from a desire to have a narrative layer below the documentary and video essay layers, below any meta layer. So yeah originally this was just a long very direct essay by Jessie about the making of and politics of star wars, my reediting of those become layer 2 and 3, with some small bits of those ending up in layer 4. Oh also some elements of what became the editor and of the script existed before I even began my youtube channel. Like I have been kicking around aspects of these ideas for over 3 years. The Editors opening monologue is almost all from something I wrote about a year before releasing my first video. So yeah I was not stealing stuff from a video by my friend that released last year, and frankly its really shitty that people assume that of me.

Also I'm tired of how frequently people have been specifying out just me to be shitty about. Attacking my voice for being feminine, being weird about my body. Really makes me feel great. Love being a trans woman making art on the internet. Love how y'all attack me if my voice sounds how you perceive womens voices should sound and you attack me when it doesnt. Im tired people suck, and its really weird that some of you want me to sound more "manly", but thanks for the validating my self taught voice training I guess????

[scarlet--wiccan]

Do you consider Vision a bad husband for Scarlet Witch? Could one say that their relationship was doomed from the start?

And while breaking the pairing up is one thing, do you think Byrne rewriting the Twins as Figments of Wanda's Imagination and making her mentally unstable in the proccess was too cruel to Wanda?

No and no, to the first two questions. Wanda and Vision were great together. They had to overcome a lot of adversity to build a home, a life, and a family together, but those challenges did not come from within their relationship-- it was mostly other people's prejudices and the inherent struggle of life as a superhero. And they succeeded-- they got their happy ending, and it's a really special story to me. Things only took a turn for the worse because of A) editorial and authorial intervention; and B) outside forces manipulating and violating them both. If Vision hadn't been made to lose his identity and emotions, they probably would have stayed together.

Do I think Wanda's treatment in Avengers West Coast was cruel, and in many ways, kinda sexist? Yes, absolutely. They really went out of their way to lay both her and Vision very low, and I think it's sad and disappointing that these characters weren't allowed to maintain their happiness. But if I'm being honest, Wanda's poor treatment in the 80s pales in comparison to how she was treated in the 2000s. She was given the opportunity to fight for and reclaim her agency, and she came out the other end with both her dignity and moral integrity intact. The narrative, ultimately sympathizes with Wanda-- she's a victim and a hero. And while the stuff with the babies was technically a retcon, the story at least tries to justify it and actually build on top of Wanda's established lore.

House of M does the opposite-- she's treated as a monster. The text identifies her as a victim of circumstance, if nothing else, and robs her of any agency, but it also condemns her for it. Through the actions of every other character, it encourages the reader to hate Wanda for having a mental breakdown resulting from a lifetime of trauma and powers she didn't ask to be born with-- poisoning popular perception and frankly encouraging ableism & racism amongst readers and critics for years following. And it totally throws continuity out the window!

So, yeah, Byrne treated Wanda poorly, but I kind of have a hard time getting mad about it. It didn't do lasting damage. In hindsight, it feels like a grim, but necessary chapter in her history-- neither she nor her powers would be what they are now without it, and we'd probably never get Billy and Tommy as they are now, either.

[nono-uwu]

First oc post i am shaking crying throwing up for multiple reasons and also anxious as hell- anyways, meet the man, the failure disaster gay, the forever doomed ginger(derogatory/lh)

I forgot to add his birthday omg, it's march 13th

Lore utc (i wrote a lot lmao), the uh post ch 134 stuff will be elaborated on later (or if asked. Actually, ask me anything about him. And my other oc's once they're posted. Please. I will answer in great detail. I also need a distraction. Pls.)

So basically, among the first few vampires (a 4th progenitor to be percise) turned by Shikama was a woman who showed great potential for spells and magic. She had a loving husband and child which she tragically lost in an accident. Upon turning into a vampire, her family was still the only thing on her mind. She accepted to help Shikama in his endeavors to revive Mikaela since she hoped she could revive her own family in the proccess. Unfortunately it didn't work. Disillusioned, she abandoned vampire kind and started searching for the possible reincarnation of her beloved husband, whom she may be able to have a child with and have family again.

Fast forward a a lot, and I mean a lot, of years and she arrived in 60s japan. None of the people she had hope for turned out to be the reincarnation of her late husband until that fateful day. She encountered a (rather pathetic may I add) man in his late 20s and it was like a miracle. The woman cornered the man in disbelief and from this awkward first meeting blossomed true love. Then everything went to shit lmaooo

The first problem was that the mans family didn't approve of the woman. Tough this didn't stop their love. Next was the issue of bearing a child, something that a vampire simply can't do. Well, an ordinary one but this woman was anything but ordinary. By some impossible miracle she bore a child. A biological child. (GIRL HOW?? We will never know and frankly, i don't want to think about it💀)

The child was, as expected tbh, kind of a disaster. Already born with pointy ears and sharp fangs. The child needed both human food and blood to properly sustain themselves. Drinking blood outside of their family would permanently stop their aging. Despite this, the couple was overjoyed. (And then named their child "mistake" bc that would help /s.) They named him "Machigai". Why tho?? I dunno man something along the lines of "a mistake but the best mistake of their life" bruh

So after Machigai was old enough to walk, but not old enough to remember, the mother diappeared, leaving father and child behind. The father did his best to raise such an... extraordinary child but it was understandably kind of impossible. Machigai grew up alone and isolated from his peers. He was always wearing a hood of some kind and rarley opened his mouth to talk. In high school, he met a girl who he became good friends with but she is another oc I'll post about sometime adlf,wpl.

Anyways! Come Machigai's high school graduation and 18th birthday, his father... disappeared. All he left was a note saying, that Machigai now owned the apartment and that there is enough blood in the fridge to sustain Machigai's thrist while he could grow and mature. To an already depressed and disillusioned Machigai this obviously didn't help. Throughout the next years he became a shut in, who only left the house if absolutely necessary. All he did all day was play video games, watch tv and later be on the internet. Once he ran out of his fathers blood was when things changed. He had to go out and actually find a new source of blood. Welp, sorry to unlucky bastards who went into dark alleyways at night bc these types of people became Machigai's source of blood. (That's when he stopped aging)

On one of these nightly escapades, Machigai was greeted by a large man in a neat black suit who called himself "Saito". Saito claimed to have known Machigai's mother and offered a deal: Machigai would offer up his unique constitution to the Hyakuya sect's research and in turn get a well paying job and a guaranteed source of blood. He agreed. "Welcome to the Hyakuya sect. I look forward to your performance"

Machigai was practically a lab rat for the development of cursed gear. Thanks to his half-n-half physiology he could tank wounds from cursed gear/magic n shit while still providing useful data to how effective it is. During this time Machigai aquired knowledge of vampire culture(?), became familiar with magic and it's quirks and learned how to perform simple spells and whatnot.

Around 2011, when the internet was already fairly well used, Machigai came across a forum dedicated to paranormal sightings. Various users claimed that a secluded spot in Kyoto was home to vampires. (Ferid was the one spreading these rumors btw) Most would have dissmissed this as someone wanting attention, yet Machigai was intrigued. He was well aware that vampires existed across the world but he mever knew how to actually contact them. Perhaps out of morbid curiosity, perhaps out of a genuine want for connection with people like him, he went to check out the spot. There, he met none other than the eccentric Ferid Bathory who specifically manufactured the rumor to meet Machigai (extra much?). He was well aware of Machigai's work for Rígr "Saito" Stafford and was trying to one up his father by stealing his most prized lab-rat. Machigai declined, not trusting a single thing out of that vampires mouth. Ferid left, already proclaiming that one day Machigai would be working for him.

Machigai stuck around that area as it was already well into the night and public transport wouldn't start up until the early morning. There he met another vampire: Crowley Eusford. Their meeting wasn't planned or meticulously calculated, it was actually rather awkward. Their chat was meaningless and short but in the end leagues above whatever Ferid likes to plan. Crolwey has already unwillingly heard about this curious being from Ferid and seeing Machigai himself left him wanting to learn more about him. Machigai was left a little hopeful, that perhaps it's not too late for him to look for connections.

So the apocalypse rolls around-

Machigai makes a deal with Saito that in exchange for his freedom (*eagle screech*) he would keep his mouth shut about anything the Hyakuya sect discovered while Machigai was there.

Machigai seeks out the Demon Army where he successfully keeps his half vampire identity a secert until someone on his squad gets blackmailed into revealing it. Before that, he gets a cursed weapon, a pair of daggers. And lo and behold, the demon possessing the daggers is his own mother. Unfortunately since the now demonic mother didn't witness Machigai growing up, she falsey believes to be able to still shape Machiagi to her will. After getting locked up by the army, Machigai completley gives up, only wishing for his miserable existence to end (spoiler: It won't! Ever. :) ). He ultimately loses any and all trust he has in humanity or just anything in general.

After about half a year of grueling torture and some experimentation, Machigai gets freed (kidnapped) by Ferid and promptly brought to Kyoto Sangiuem. Krul Tepes, finding Machigai to be useful in her fake-ish war against humanity and whatever she's planning with Yuu and Mika, lets him be part of the japanese vampires under Ferids faction. Ferid found himself unwilling to deal with the often uncooperative and irritated new "recruit" so he did what he does best and made it Crowley's problem.

After a rather agressive and disrespectful first impression, Machigai was officially a... coworker? of Crowley and thus also Chess and Horn in Nagoya. The three got the additional task by Ferid to somehow domesticate this feral and angry stray animal and get him to open up. At least that's how Ferids orders were phrased. Shenanigans, Drama and FeelingsTM ensue.

(How did I write so much??)

[utilitycaster]

My biggest complaint about last night's episode was the tonal dissonance between the two halves (thought admittedly I only partially understood the Opal/Ted thing, and will have to watch the VOD on Monday to fully parse it). I find your Hamlet/Sheer Madness metaphor incredibly apt.

During the episode, I wondered if there was going to be a longer wait until we returned to the Hells, and if Aabria and the Crown Keepers had been brought in to fill space while the main cast or parts of it were unable to follow their regular filming schedule.

If that were the case, then I thought that ending the Bells Hells portion of the episode where they did the right choice, and made sense from both a narrative perspective (once the Hells arrive at the encampment, they will report to Keyleth and begin planning for their next steps, thus entering the next arc of their story), and a characterological perspective (they are still fresh off the fight and the loss of FGC, their intial feelings have been established, and while I'd love more rp, I think the next step of actually proccessing it and letting it propell them is more likely to be tied to their next actions/mission). Liam also provided a lovely button with his call to Dorian, and ending it with his call yet unanswerd increases acticipation. It felt very much like the last beats before intermission in a play, or the last episode of a tv show before the mid-season hiatis. I was therefore willing to be more generous. While the tonal dissonance was incredibly jarring, and ultimately I feel did both halves a diservice, I could understand them wanting to a) end on that beat, and b) keep to the usual length of their episodes.

Now that I know we are getting the Hells back presumably sometime after break next episode, I am not only feeling less forgiving, but also rather confused. I can't think of another reason to split the episode beyond shock value, and also can't help but wonder why they didn't just bring the crown keepers in during the second half for what I am assuming is the reunion we will be getting next episode, and have all of the

Opal/Loth stuff happen in a flash-back one-shot at a later date. While the Crown Keepers and their earnest slap-dickery were bound to change the tone regardless due to their nature, I feel that would have at the very least mitigated some of the emotional whiplash.

If you were to speculate, why do you think they made the choice to split the episode this way?

Also if you had to bring the crown keepers into the main campaign, how would you do so while maintaing narrative integrity and emotional tenor? (Or not, sometimes crack is fun, and if you have alcohol induced ideas, I'd love to hear them as well).

I truly do not know why they made this choice. The only thing I can think of, since it doesn't seem to be related to personal life reasons nor giving Sam more time to work on a character since functionally it's not more time than finishing out this episode with Bells Hells and airing a Crown Keepers episode for 93 is the surprise factor. And I'm going to be honest: I know this is something that is fun when you are at the table and so I think the "it's their game and their table" rule applies* but more often than not these surprises end up kind of sucking as a viewer.

I'm going to be honest but very vague re: bringing the Crown Keepers into the main campaign because I am waiting until after next C3 episode, and probably a bit after that, before I say anything more specific, but. I probably wouldn't. I liked the Crown Keepers well enough when they aired, but a lot of the generosity I extended at the time to the rougher patches is something I've since had second and third thoughts about. I would do another Kymal-style two-shot and then I'd have Dorian come back into the main campaign.

*just as a note: It's their game and their table means they get to make the decisions that they want to make and acting entitled and as if you deserve the outcome you personally want - as people did, for example, when Molly died - is, well, entitled and not something you have a right to ask for. It does not mean you can't say "I disliked this choice greatly."

[skyrim-forever]

What inspired you to write?

This is such a great question, thank you so much <3

I gotta do a bit of background first. Growing up I was an art kid, I liked painting, drawing, charcoal, whatever I could get my hands on. My best friend was (and still is) a very gifted writer so I (incorrectly) fell into the idea that I shouldn't even bother to write because she could do it so much better. Then when I was 16 I went through something that caused me to develop PTSD and I couldn't do art anymore. All the life had gotten sucked out of me.

I enter university and suddenly I am surrounded by all these people who didn't have hobbies so much as they had competitive skills. I remember mentioning I liked dancing and had taken some free classes run by someone in my hometown; turns out they had been competitive dancing since they were four! I mentioned I used to do art, they blew anything I ever did out of the water! So I just stopped even trying things because it felt like if I wasn't doing something to be great at it there was no point. I also had other insecurities that played a bit part but I don't want to discuss them publicly.

Then I get to grad school, I end up making a new tumblr account for tes stuff and I start making friends with people who write fanfic. I've been reading fic since I was 14 so it was so cool to interact with wips and seeing things develop. Overtime seeing how supportive everyone was I started to get interested in trying. Some authors I'm very glad to call friends like @dirty-bosmer @lucien-lachance and @thequeenofthewinter are who inspired me to just do it.

The first piece I wrote I was from the Skyrim Sexyman Poll, last Feb. I don't think it's a good piece of writing, but I keep it up on ao3 because it's important. It needed to exist because it showed me I could, I could in fact write fanfic. And then I was like hmmm, fanfic is all about writing scenarios you want, what do I want? And I wanted Ondolemar smut I'll be honest. I've written some other fics that aren't about him and I like them, but having a blorbo is so good for the creative proccess. And it's helped me find my voice and now that I am freed from the shackles of grad school I'm feeling more creative than ever and want to start writing other characters and write weirder fanfic :P

The phrase "the first draft's job is to exist" has done wonders for me <3

TLDR: the cool authors here were so cool that I wanted to be like them too :P

[deadgrantaires]

[guy who just had his roommate explain to him that ppl post fics on twitter in like. long threads] am i too old. am i just not with it enough or something. i jsut cannot for the life of me find what could possibly be appealing about a twitter threadfic. its so. fuckgin baffling to me. a) that people do this bc i imagine that the only way in which it would make SENSE to do this is if. u are actually writing the fic. while in the proccess of typing it up on twitter. no editing. no doublechecking. no moving around verses or plot points ot dialogue where it would fit better into the flow of the story NO jsut fuckign. rawdogging posting on twwitter. and B) i cant imagine how frustrating and annoying it would be to actually FOLLOW the ppl who post these and just be. unable to use twitter for a couple hours while they post a fuckign threadfic

i cant possibly fathom the appeal. not even like.. havign yr stuff beta read or we but u dont READ THROUGH YR OWN STORY FIRST TO CHECK FOR ERRORS. BEFORE POSTING> AND PPL WANT THIS?????????? IM LOSING MY MIND AT THE IDEA. OF THE PHENOMENA THAT IS. THREADFIC. AND U CANNOT IMAGINE HOW FUCKIGN FURIOUS I AM OF THE FACT ITS ACTUALLY REAL AND EXISTS. BITITNG INTO DRYWALL. AM I TOO OLD TO UNDERSTAND???? BC I REALLY CANNOTFUCKGIN UNDERSTAND. AT ALL

[sixosix]

hi hello

I'm here to write about my experience while reading the latest writing of wanderer. (it shall contain what I'm doing as I'm reading and my reactions - so if you don't wanna read it - that is a-okay!)

I'M STANDING IN -3°C OR EVEN LESS ON A TRAIN STATION FREEZING. I'm reading this by taking a glove off of my hand to scroll and then switching it to the other (taking the other glove off putting this one on) - pain fr, and then smiling to myself like a love struck idiot at 6 FUCKING AM. ON A FOGGY CROWD FILLED TRAIN STATION.

you did say in the a/n that the first part was "unnecessary" but I enjoyed the potrayal of friendship - it fleshed out the mc fr. also didn't except Heizou to be so touchy bUT THEN I gave it a second more of thought (lol) and I can see it. wanderer wearing all black is fucking canon in my eyes in modern!teyvat/world/somewhere.

the flashback was written really cutely, managing to catch the good vibes and capture, in a quite the short amount of text, the history the two have. (except like why does he think he hurt them-myb he thinks it is cos they left? idk listen I'm still sleepy if I missed something dO NOT HATE ME I WILL REREAD LATER TODAY)

next, I manage to find a spot in the train to sit, now nice and warm, chuckling at the boys & mc interaction in the hotel room

takiNG PAUSES - TURNING MY PHONE OFF AND LOOKING OUT INTO THE DARKNESS OF THE MORNING WHEN THEY KISS???? WHEN HE SAYS ANYTHING? I'm out here yet again smiling to myself and looking out of the window before continuing my reading

little love confessions cute! cute! cute!

thE FUCKING CUDDLES THE CUDDLES THE. CUDDLES. as a deeply touched deprived person with main love language being physical affection (with only selected few I care for, otherwise I hate any physical contact) my reaction is - YES. tysm. bless, thank you for your service.

it warmed my heart, perfect perfect perfect. ALSO THE LINE - I JUST RECALLED, THE LINE "You think I'd settle for less than you" - screenshoted, screamed internally, felt special, felt pain no one in this bitch ass world has me yet like that - no one ever will prob let US BE REAL (I'm mentaly dating all of them fictional mfs) , looked out of the window, paused, thought about stuff, leaned my head back to reimagine the scene as I try to also nap and fAIL cos I'm too hyped to read it - like man! 5k words - a LOT (it indeed was not a lot, I forgot how fast I read even when I reread lines and pause, and that I finish a thick ass book in 2 hours.)

it was slow burn without the slow but you worded it so nicely, paced it out, captured the essence of the thought proccess of a "crush" and stuff. also heizou being mentioned so much DOES make sense in the way - that ofc you'd think to tell your bsf this shit and chat with him DUH.

the detail of Aether texting his sister warmed my heart.

roll back a bit earlier - did I mention my train arrived late to my station - and in the freezing dark cold morning I smile and was like "ehe" cos I get to read this in PEACE for 15 mins longer - cos of the late train.

roll back to the present. after the kiss someone sits next to me so I'm putting my phone away, like I'm reading straight up smut of some shit, yet again rethinking everything you wrote.

then I see "a/n" - cut to me screaming, yelling, crying internally for more - feeling like it just began - I need the two days, I need more of the kissing, I need how they solve the end of vacay, and how they work all of it out - ALSO WHERE IS XIAO AMONGST MY ANEMO BOYS

on the topic of xiao I do understand it would be difficult for me as well to put the two boys I love the most in the same fic and just not have anything with one of them. furthermore, I understand one of your notes on a Xiao writing you did as a Xiao main. Listen me too, I could not write about my beloved. it would be a struggle just like it is for you but I KNOW WHY LET ME TELL YOU WHY - to quote Jane Austen "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more" I rest my fucking case.

I CAN FURTHER SUPPORT MY CLAIM WITH THIS - I'm talking to my friend the other day about genshin and he's like tell me about you favorite character, I say a bit while also trying to keep it spoiler free but I struggle so much, because my mind just fills with everything about him, every single thing Xiao has been through and dear gods how do I say it all, how to get across everything he is, has been through. yeah. the quote is true.

I beg on my knees for somehow another part of this wanderer writing I'm just gnawing at a train plush soft cushion (not literally).

every timE I READ ONE OF YOUR THINGS ABOUT THE SHORT SNARKY BOY I'M ALWAYS SMILING TO MYSELF ALWAYS PAUSING LOOKING AWAY, WHAT DO YOU PUT IN THIS WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

I am very aware of how long this is, hope it wasn't boring - but HEY it is an ask, so technically you can ignore me

I probably didn't manage to caputre all my thoughts while reading it cos I'm just still very tired - hope you have a great day

ps. I could very well write an ask about how I started enjoying (read: liking) Wanderer + how the pulls went (it would be more put together than this ask honestly lmk)

pps much love, keep writing stuff x

hi hello! of course id love to read. i love the trend of sending long asks like this!! the only time i dont like long asks is when readers are requesting something---i dont like that at all :/ but youre not doing that!!! youre talking about your experience in reading my works and it really really warms my heart reading through it

OH NO T__T i cant even imagine. my countrys temperature never falls below 25-30°C so i cant even imagine surviving outside when the numbers are NEGATIVE T__T

the first part was absolutely unnecessary HAHA but thank you for justifying it. My hopeless crush wormed in and i wrote too much to just delete it sigh…

now for your question--scara moved out and essentially left the reader. it was more of a reference to scaramouche's canon backstory. he felt hurt that ei left him! and now, he's leaving the person he cares about. of course, in my head, he would assume that you'd feel what he felt. its why i put scaras mommy issues in the tags hahaha

im glad you like their interaction!! i loved writing their banter so much. i love writing scara talking to anyone in general because the way he talks is the way i think irl LOL

im so glad you also like the "you think i'd settle for less than you" line!!! ill tell u a secret. a few minutes before posting the fic it wasn't even there, but after reading through it i thought it would fit perfectly with the way i wrote scaramouche's character :D

and im so glad u pointed out the pacing!!! in all honesty i am far from confident with my pacing. i never know if im doing it right so thank u so much for saying that!!!!!!!! T__T <3 i dont know if i should clap for the late train for letting you read in peace? ??

LMFAOOO IM SO SORRY. this is exactly why i avoid reading fanfiction out in public even if i dont read smut. these strangers cannot know that i read about scaramouche kissing me.

and also fun fact!!!!! in the previous author note, it was not written that way. let me show you proof!! i cant find it rn but ill go into the version history version of my docs :D

AHHH that quote is so real im stealing that sorry. Everytime someone brings up why i dont write xiao enough ill pull that up !!!!! i know exactly what u mean :/

and about a part two… some people are already asking for it but i just don't do part twos T__T unless its stated in the fic that there's another part coming--it means that that's it…… your imagination will probably do better than whatever i can cook anyway !!!

[i-will-go-with-you-five]

i love your Five lore! do you have any art/fanfic of her?

Ahhhhhh that makes me so happy!!! I'm glad you like her! I do have two published fanfics of her!

Miracle/Where Do You Run? is a oneshot set during A Voice in the Dark (the mission we are all a sucker for). It's built around two songs that played while I was running that mission, Miracle and Where Do You Run? by The Score. If you give them a listen you'll see how I think those songs match Sam and Five's headspaces during that mission, and also in general for ZR :D There will be a part two of it I have mostly written that I will post relatively soon, of the conversation they have afterwards from what they were both thinking about during that mission!

Golden Scars is a short blurb headcannon I had when running S2 E42, Road To Nowhere, when Van Ark is injecting Five with stuff while she runs. Once again, I got inspired by a song by The Score, this one was Legend. (I have a thing for analyzing song lyrics okay) It's set at the very end of Season 2.

This is an idea I'm also going to explore more in my full Five story fanfiction that I'll (hopefully) start posting in the next month or two! It'll really dive deep into my personal Five as a character and how she changes. It'll go through from when she first crashes into Abel through Season 2 at least, and probably longer the more I keep running. (Which I'm sure you've seen hints at from my lore post that you read *wink wink*) So keep a lookout for that.

Unfortunately I don't have any art of her, because while I enjoy the proccess of doing art, I am very much a beginner and still hate how it looks. One day I'll have some of her that I've made. But in my pinned post I have a description of her, and my very dear friend who is an incredibly talented artist is doing a little sketch of her for me and I'm giddy with happiness at the fact asfdkhasklfjhaal. It's nice to know she exists outside of my head lol.

[davactivated]

🌶 ☀️ 💙 🦖 🍷 🐙 🦜 💣 🔮 🌟 🟢⚔️😦🏠🍿🎉

Go nuts

Doing this one first because this is very many and i love answering questions thank yoy meatpit 🫶🫶

(🌶️) how do they feel about becoming a farmer?

" Marcus wasnt always fond with farming but his grandfather was, but also he really wanted to stay somewhere he can enjoy himself and be himself! He started to learn how to farm little by little until he finally got the hang of it, and honestly he's proud of himself! he loves poultry and is still trying to learn about it "

(☀️) do they adjust to living in the valley easily?

" They didn't adjust well atfirst.., because marcus isnt always the type of person to talk until he gets the courage too and he needs to talk to others to make progress and to ask help from. but he really is sweet and a goofball when you gets to talk, he's just a little shy. BUT his main way of talking is body language! he loves moving around "

(💙) do they have any blue chickens?

" .... ALOT. "

(🦖) do they incubate the dino eggs? how many dinos do they have?

" He found an egg and found it interesting and decided to incubate it and got 3 dinos now, he tends to separate them from his lovely chickens because he really doesnt want anything to happen to his children "

(🐙) what fish do they struggle to catch?

" The squid. "

(🍷) what is your farmer's main way of making money?

" Mostly through mayonnaise actually! he's actually planning to get more void chickens and chickens in general to proccess those good quality eggs into mayonnaise without troubles. even tho he'll work his ass off to work in the mines for some earth crystals and copper bars "

(🦜) does your farmer befriend leo? what do they think of him?

" when marcus saw leo he really felt empathy towards leo, he was really patient with the little guy and offered him gifts whenever he visits, he likes leo! and he wants to build a small bond with him, like a little big brother figure you know? "

(💣) what's the lowest they ever gone in the skull caverns?

" around a 110! and then marcus passed out atleast 5 times trying to go to that actual level again for iridium ore "

(🔮) best thing they ever found while in the skull caverns?

" His beloved dark cowboy hat and his first ever prismatic shard! Also when I lost my hammer when i passed out in the skull caverns "

(🌟) what is their reaction when they get their first stardrop?

" when he got his first stardrop he was absolutely amaaazed, on how much he descovers alot of stuff in this valley and he's absolutely excited to know whats in store for him "

(🟢) does your farmer get a slime hutch? do they use it?

" No sadly.. not planning on building one either... "

(⚔️) what is their weapon of choice?

" Hammers! especially the galaxy hammer "

(😦) is your farmer afraid of the monsters?

" Absolutely not... Except for that one damn Serpent I shit myself everytime "

(🏠) does your farmer buy a house for pam and penny? do they reveal their identity or stay anonymous?

" he wishes to!! But he's on a hella tight budget and the community upgrade is faaar out of his reach for him atm, he can't do that "

(🍿) what's their favorite theater snack?

" Marcus loves salmon burgers!! He tends to be careful when eating it because he doesn't wanna make any mess but honestly he loves it "

(🎉) what is your farmer's favorite festival?

" His favorite festival is the town fair!! He absolutely loves it when that festival goes around he wouldn't miss it for the world, He also loves Feast of the winter star!! "

[risingshine]

"Eeey Iya, I had to put down a hydra this weekend. Thought you might be interested in isolating its regeneration genes, so I brought you its heart." Zinnya hands over the hydra heart with a dramatically romantic act, then casually pulls out a gallon sized container from her boob-window. "Aaaand all this blood too, barely fit in there, this is the stuff I make health potions from, so I'm assuming it's the best part for it. If the heart doesn't prove useful, I can make a kingly meal from it."

"Oh, thank you-" ...She wasn't sure if she was more enamored by the massive heart, the gallon of blood, or how she amanged to fit it in there...truely Zinniya becomes more and more astounding by the day.

"..With my current exposure to mythical beasts, it seems as though their hereditary features involve more proccesses than genetic coding, but I will do my best."

This was probably going to become messy.

Maybe let her tag along next time: she would kill to be able to do a proper disection.

[nerimaemae]

(sorry for anon, i am very shy)

is there a chance you'd ever be willing or able to record your gpose process?

my brain cannot comprehend how you arrive at these otherworldly results while still having the same tools as the rest of us plebeians and i wish to learn from you so much ;v;

Hi! I'm also guilty of going anon because of shy reasons 🫶

I would love to do a timelapse of it (made some os my digital illustrations in the past too!) but my huge problem is that, with basically every gpose I've made, I started some moment in the morning and finished by the end of the afternoon ou even during night.

I don't take that many hours, normally around 3 hours. My problem is that, as gposing is just something I do to pass the time, I pose some 10 min here, then go check some sites/socials/mods/whatevers, get distracted and get back to the pose sometimes more than a hour after I stopped 🥹 or I just get bored of the pc or I want to do something else and just get back later (two times I've slept and finished the gpose the next day lol)

YES my game crashed in those moments a couple of times already lol thank god for Ktisis pose backup 👌

That's the reason I also stopped doing the illustrations timelapse. I always mention it whenever I talk about my proccess for anything creative, but sometimes I just can't cope with my adhd problems.

Tho, in my twitter, I've posted some pics and tips of my proccess for some folks that asked! I'm always up to help with this kind of stuff 🙌🫂

[midnightkolrath]

Oh boy, its thinking time again.

Though this time, I'm thinking about Mainline Dante and the "Black Sheep" for most fans, DmC Dante. Personally, I don't mind him and he grew on me in some cases. As much of a mess DmC is, playing through it recently after several years....I've seen crumbs of what could've been better than what we were given.

Of course, there's other things about the game that fairly rubs off on hardcore fans and I'm not gonna excuse the bad parts...[ahem] but there's things I like. The world building, parts of the lore....what they were trying to do with Dante as a character in the world setting...alas, I'll probably go on a talk about that stuff another time.

On topic of what I was going to talk about though. I was thinking back on the common reception of DmC and the fanarts of Main Dante beating the shit out of DmC Dante and I got to thinking...what if they actually DID meet each other? Would they respond similarly to these fan vent interpretations accordingly to their characters?

The answer, I think, would be a yes.

Not in the violent and aggressive "I hate you immediately" way, though. For this, I'm going to use DMC5 Dante for Main Dante, for the sake of how I've proccessed this inner question for myself.

For those who've played DmC and know of that Dante (and have paid attention to the story despite the icks), we know he's a fighter. He's been raised in the world that way due to his tragic and shitty upbringing. Same with him having anger issues amongst other things. He shares the impulsive nature Dante used to have back in Pre-DMC1 and DMC3, but cranked up abit.

He'd likely see Main Dante and purposely try to start shit cause he is a little shit like that. He's a teenager who's been through so much shit that he does not meld with people at all at first. He hates authority, is full of spite...yeeeeah....

I think Main Dante would entertain him and be willing to throw down with him because hell, man also loves a good fight and knowing this kid is another version of him? He'd be all over that to see just what the kid's made of.

Though I'd take this fight as Main Dante also trying to help the kid let off some steam, similar to how he handled Nero back in DMC4 when he was steamed and keen to rescue Kyrie and helped him regain a cool head before continuing on his quest.

The big difference between Nero and DmC Dante though, is that DmC Dante has even BIGGER anger issues. He's more violent. More spiteful. Fueled by how much worse he had it growing up. Had to watch his mother's heart get ripped out by Mundus, got seperated from his twin brother and had his memory sealed away....then he also had to deal with being in an orphanage ran by demons, in several foster homes and correction facilities (also, no surprise, ran by demons) so he went through alot of abuse growing up. Its how he knows the usual procedure of being detained and tries to give Kat advice as she's being arrested later on in the game.

He spent his entire life basically having to fight for it with no other choice.

As much of an edgy mess DmC is, it had so much messed up backstory for Dante himself...like aside from all the painfully forced edge of the setting most of the time....I can appreciate what they've molded in the cracks for the setting. Its fucked because the world he's in is fucked.

Anyway. Main Dante would probably let him get so much venting out through fighting, maybe try and try and help him work out his issues. Especially if this is seasoned DMC5 Dante. He's done it with Nero, he would do it again. It'd take alot and I mean ALOT of time I'd feel and I think Main Dante would even snap at DmC Dante over a few things, buuuut....I also feel like it'd eventually simmer down to a mutual understanding. Hell, Main Dante would likely see abit of his Pre-DMC1 and DMC3 selves in him. Kid's just abit more messed up and would need things drilled in more, but it IS stated that DmC Dante has a big heart buried beneath all that he displays. Hell, he shows it a few times in the game. He has a few moments.

I won't try and change minds on how people see him because I know DmC is a touchy subject for most hardcore fans and I get it, but you know. Personally, with it being an alternate reality at this point now that's still recognized by Capcom officially, I see it as harmless nowadays. We got mainline DMC swinging back, so its pretty much just there, haha.

I won't go into powerscaling (because that's a whole other beast of a rabbit hole I don't wanna poke into yet, even if I do think our Mainline Dante would win...the details of it will be thoughts for another time), but considering the circumstances of their characters and how situational it may be.....its just a thought. I dunno, the braincells just decided to think about this topic tonight, lmao.