#how do I ctrl alt del

[ninjasmudge]

sad? simply reset your brain with cursed energy to make them go away!

[qwuilty]

my brain cant make a good coherent analysis right now but tonight i am thinking about Lucas and Lilah and tbh i really like their dynamic in the comic (and what we can see of them in the show, even if its not really canon? i kinda see it as like. canon-adjacent.) and i wish we got just like a little more of it

I think they bounce off of each other well with Lucas being cynical and sarcastic and Lilah also carrying some of that back in their banter but being the more optimistic or at least more grounded one, i think their friendship helps kind of bring out a lot more of her character that might get lost if she was purely there to be Ethan's Partner.

Also i think its nice for Lucas to have a woman he's close to and doesn't have a romantic connection with (i have my own opinions on CAD Lucas and his relationship with women in general but that's a long winded rant for another day), they're just legitimately friends and bond over Ethan's eccentricity.

[suga-kookiemonster]

ctrl-alt-del | jjk (teaser)

summary⇢ you graduated bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but, to your extreme disappointment, your big girl job isn't turning out to be nearly as exciting as you thought it would be. still, you're holding out hope that your talents will soon be recognized and your coworkers will stop trying to include you in their gossip sessions. enter jungkook, the quiet IT guy who's gradually making your days more bearable. (and if you find him easy on the eyes, that's nobody's business but yours.) pairing⇢ jungkook/reader teaser word count⇢ 1.4k genre⇢ smut | humor | office!au warnings⇢ nothing too bad for this teaser! just a mention of oral

a/n⇢this fic has literally been sitting in my wips for YEARS lmao. i feel like it's finally time to set it free 🕊️✨ it's looking like it's gonna lean more towards pwp, but there's definitely still enough plot in there to keep it interesting. not sure when it will be up, but wanted to share a snippet to get your thoughts and get myself excited to finish the last leg--fingers crossed for the next month or so 🤞🏾🙌🏾💜

When you graduated top of your class with a marketing degree and a job already lined up, you weren’t big-headed to assume you would be given a lot in the beginning. No, you knew that you were the new kid on the block and needed to prove yourself first, needed to work your way up from the bottom. But what you definitely didn’t anticipate was working up from thefigurative trenches, almost exclusively doing busywork—constantly making coffee runs, catering business lunches, printing out endless spreadsheets.

Eighty-thousand dollars in debt, and you are a glorified intern.

You’re positively itching to hit the ground running and get your hands dirty, your job isn’t too bad. The people there are all nice and welcoming, the complimentary coffee in the break room is decent enough for your dwindling bank account, and every couple of weeks, the company sponsors an employee barbecue were everyone can fraternize and enjoy free food.

“Apparently it fosters unity and teamwork,” your coworker Joy informs you as you both stand in the food line. “Seokjin—that’s our CEO—is really big on unity and teamwork.”

Joy is also a member of your marketing team. Though as sweet as can be, she has no filter, and thus always has a lot to say about everything—which has helped you when it comes to learning the ropes about the company, but has also had you clutching your imaginary pearls in some situations where you found it inappropriate. Despite only being a year older than you, her title of Marketing Associate (instead of your measly Assistant)means that she technically outranks you, though she doesn’t usually enforce that fact (unless there was something that needed to be copied or filed, of course). Still, she immediately took you under her wing when you first started, and she is the closest person to a friend you have at work (even though her daily coffee order is always so ridiculous, you are convinced that she has to be fucking with you—or at least engaging in some form of mild hazing.).

“I think it’s nice,” you reply. “I’ll never say no to free food, and they let us out early and everything.”

“I mean, pretty sure you can get the hotdogs twelve in a pack at the dollar store,” Joy quips, raising her eyebrows at you pointedly. “But sometimes the boys from Sales take their shirts off and play soccer, so there’s that.”

Your eyes dart to said Sales boys against your will, gaze drawn to Jung Hoseok as he chats animatedly with his teammates by the tables. You’ve only spoken to him once or twice, but his fiery red hair and even brighter smile caught your attention immediately, your heart rate accelerating at the sight of him in hallways mere days into starting your new position. Who better to have a mild work crush on than a sweet-talking salesman who winks at you sometimes in passing?

An appreciative noise has you turning back around, embarrassed at being caught ogling how shapely Hoseok’s butt looks in his dress pants today, but it’s just Wendy from accounting, Joy’s best friend and thus a harmless, familiar face. Wendy has cut in front of a few editors to join you and Joy, and the way that she smiles at you lets you know she’s up to no good. “He’s cute, huh?” she asks, leaning towards you conspiratorially. “I would definitely give him the good ol’ suck behind the dumpsters over there, if you catch my drift.”

“Err…yeah, I do,” you reply awkwardly. She had been explicitly clear—keyword explicit—so there definitely isn’t any room for misunderstandings. Is this truly appropriate work function conversation? From the way the editors behind you are politely clearing their throats, you think not.

“Behind the dumpster?” Joy asks curiously. “He’s standing right next to some sturdy tables that I, for one, would take great advantage of—”

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” you announce loudly, your neck heating up. “Can you grab me a hot dog, Joy?”

“Sure,” she says dismissively, already distracted by her sudden debate with Wendy about the most convenient place to suck off salesman Jung.

The whole conversation is making you uncomfortable. You are not a prude—far from it—but there is a time and place for everything, and your coworkers’ blasé attitude towards speaking about inappropriate topics at company functions on company time rattles you a bit. So instead of engaging in the risqué discussion further, you make your way to the cluster of brightly-colored coolers that presumably hold beverages, sidling up to the only other person lingering the area.

“Anything good?” you ask cordially, making your coworker, who had apparently been deep in thought while considering his beverage options, startle a bit.

He’s tall, his large frame covered in the appropriate business casual attire of nice jeans and a powder-blue buttonup. When he turns his head to look at you, you’re met with large, dark eyes blinking in surprise from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Said eyes dart around for a moment before determining that you were, in fact, speaking to him.

The man clears his throat. “Just the usual,” he says, voice soft. Timid.

“The usual?” you repeat. There are little hoops dangling from his earlobes, and you brush off your surprise at seeing them, returning your gaze to the coolers. Water, a clear soda, a cola. “The basics, you mean. Well, can’t really complain, right? Seeing as it’s all free. I think it’s really nice of them.”

Your companion seems surprised at your words. “It is,” he agrees softly, eyes meeting yours for a second before dropping back down to the cooler. “Um, are you...are you new?”

“Damn, I guess my cover’s blown.” You shoot him a wry smile. “Yeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago. What gave it away?”

“It’s just—no one else here really cares about these barbecues anymore,” he admits, looking at you, but not quite. More like, in your direction. “Everyone has forgotten to appreciate the little things.”

“Nothing is a given,” you shrug. “So you need to appreciate things when you can. And besides, those lots of little things can really add up without you realizing it.”

He finally seems to look at you properly, and the weight of his large, gentle brown eyes throws you off for a second. “They can,” he agrees, lips slowly drifting up. 

“What do we have over here?” a loud voice interrupts, a hand falling to your shoulder. You look up, and are met with the brightness of salesman Jung.

“Ah,” Hoseok says with a wink, reaching into the cooler. “I love Sprite.”

“Me too,” you reply automatically, and then immediately want to smack yourself. Because you don’t—carbonated beverages make you break out. But your mouth had formed the lie without your permission.

Embarrassed, you reach into the cooler, grabbing three water bottles. “See you later,” you squeak, avoiding eye contact as you make your escape.

Joy and Wendy are already watching you when you return to where they have procured a table, and when you hand them their waters, Joy raises an eyebrow. “I was wondering how long you were going to talk to that IT guy.”

“Yeah, and why did you leave when Hoseok showed up?” Wendy pouted. “_____, the universe is only going to give you so many opportunities. If you don’t want the ball, then pass it to me! Goddamn.”

“IT guy?” you ask, hoping to slide past that last remark.

“Yeah. His name is Jungkook, I think? Mostly works with the printers, started a couple months ago.” Joy shrugs, obviously disinterested by the topic. She reaches for the ketchup bottle in the center of the table and squirts some on her hot dog. “This is the first time I’ve seen him at a barbecue, though. Honestly, I’m surprised he even came out, because the IT dudes generally keep to themselves. The rarely leave their little tower,” she adds with a dismissive wave.

Wendy scoffs. “Who cares about Jeremy! Hurry up and eat, I’m sure Sales is gonna start their soccer game soon.”

“Soccer game?” you ask.

“The sales department likes to play soccer during these things,” Joy informs you. Her expression brightens. “Hey, maybe Hoseok will take his shirt off again! Let us pray.”

To your coworkers’ disappointment, Hoseok did not take his shirt off. But they certainly had a good time watching him run back and forth across the grass.

[stormsbourne]

alright listen

I know we're all having an evaluation of how eagerly we believe people who present with even the slightest air of authority and frankly good! we all need to be less credulous of people on the internet who tell lies.

but I think there are also other lessons to learn from james somerton. namely about his raging and blatant misogyny, which I've often seen similar forms of in fandom and on this specific site. to paraphrase bombs himself in the ctrl alt del video, if you see shitty behavior within your sphere, it's important to recognize it and try to fix it instead of rejecting it and asserting that no REAL members of the ingroup are like that. and nerds have a misogyny problem. including tumblr. so let's reckon with it.

do you append "white" or "straight" to your comments about women even when those things have little to do with the topic being discussed, just to make your comments seem more legit? (and no, m/m shipping discourse does not give you a ticket to say it's all straight women -- it's fictional characters, james.) do you often theorize about how (hurriedly appended "straight/white/cis") women are responsible for a problem in fandom, nay, all problems in fandom? have you made up a guy based on a single post that annoyed you and extrapolated to say that all (appended signifier to make it ok) women in fandom are like that? do you see women as uniquely fetishizing, uniquely stupid about politics or social issues, uniquely annoying to talk to? do you assume when there's an issue, even a real one and not the fake ones james made up, that a woman is probably at the root of it?

all of this still applies to you if you're a woman. it also applies if you're gay or a person of color or trans. being an oppressed group doesn't mean you are immune from sexism, and sexism is still rampant in everyday life for pretty much everyone.

your shipping and fandom discourse isn't immune from this. no, I'm not talking about how not enough people like yuri. I'm talking about how women who like "bad" ships like r*ylo or whatever are seen as open targets for harassment. how women who are into "bad/problematic" fandoms are seen as idiots and enablers who deserve what they get. how there's an attitude that women who like shitty bad porn must think it's good, must be too stupid to know better, and must need to be handheld and taught about good, acceptable fiction. I've already talked a lot about tumblr's complete refusal to admit that fujoshi wasn't a term coined by delicate japanese mlm to complain about evil women (and I wonder if james contributed to that idiotic concept), but the way I've seen people assert that women into m/m must be straight, must be stupid, must be lying about their identities, must be hurting gay men in real life in addition to wanting some anime boys to kiss ...

I've seen how some of you people talk about amb*r h*ard, is all I'm saying, and I've seen what you've tried to do to dozens of female creatives that, for some reason, you've decided deserve to be taken down or taught a lesson. I've seen the descriptions you use. shrieking, bitchy, whiny, uppity, shrewish, karen (don't get me started on how karen has been turned into an easy excuse for misogyny). you're not bystanders to what james did and is doing, you're a part of it. sure, you might not have the nazi fetish, but you've said things about women that put somerton to shame.

just a thing to keep in mind while the plagiarism discourse is ongoing. somerton is a shithead for many reasons but this is one that's important to remember because I think people often treat misogyny like a lesser crime, a smaller concern, and it's not. just think of what laws are passing and what views popular movements have of women and then, for one moment, consider that maybe your reflexive need to blame women or pick them apart might have been influenced by the Society In Which We Live.

[arenaconspiracy]

soon i am getting a new laptop that i will have to use in public, and i am thinking of doing the most arcane, malevolently set up, Doug Rattmann crazy levels, most incomprehensible Linux setup on it, so that nobody who isn't me, or atleast is not familiar enough with the specific linux utilities, can use it.

so that in the event i happen to leave the laptop unattended in public, (which i do not plan on doing, as i innately keep my backpack on me 100% of the time, so much so that multiple people have found it offputting, but in the event it do) nobody knows how to work it, or how it even works.

currently i've only a few ideas, such as - using i3wm with a fully rewritten key configuration, including having some common windows shortcuts such as alt + F4, ctrl + shift + esc, ctrl + alt + del, et cetera pull up premade messages heckling you for trying them - using only command line tools like feh, mpv, nmtui, & others for basic tasks - possibly automatically lock the session while the machine is in use if you fail to enter a password into a window, probably one it doesn't open automatically so you also need to know what fucking program to start from a terminal to enter a password you also need to know. (and possibly not have the program in the $PATH for extra evil)

LINUXPOSTERS OF TUMBLR - i call to you in a time of peril - heed my call, give me your most diabolical ideas on making an installation as hostile and arcane as you can. the machine doesn't even have to be 100% usable by myself, i'm fine with it being annoying as fuck to use if it means that it's bafflingly unusable to those around me.

no holds barred. if it's funny, or actively hostile to a user, or both, you may suggest it.

[gremlin-girly]

Kinktober Day 2

Main Kink(s): Office Sex, squirting

Pairing: IT Tech! Jake Jensen X f!PA!Reader

Tags/Warnings: SMUT, office sex, sex on a desk, p-in-v, squirting, creampie, reverse cowgirl, riding, vaginal fingering (brief), sex to relax, massage, Jake being a dork, pet names (baby), sweet ending

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You hate your boss and hate filing work for him when he’s out gallivanting so when your IT kit breaks and you summon IT to the devil’s den that is your boss’ office  you can’t help but take the opportunity you’ve been given with your office crush.

As always I do not give permission for my work to be reposted, translated or copied. My warnings are non-exhaustive (even though I do try to capture everything) but please read at your own risk. I am not responsible for your content consumption.

I hope you enjoy; feedback, likes and reblogs are always welcome! Dividers by @/saradika-graphics , headers by @/cafekitsune

Previous | Next | Masterlist

“Arsehole!”

You lean back in your office chair, fingers gliding against your scalp in a desperate bid to salvage what was left of your sanity. You were overtired, overworked and underpaid and you boss, your arsehole of a boss, had just taken an extra two hours on his lunch with one of his many flings postponing an already twice-postponed meeting with an important stakeholder.

Leaving you to deal with the fallout and the work he had not yet completed.

Again.

You rub your eyes hoping it’s a dream. When you open them again, your laptop is still showing the email from your boss. You groan and go to exit the email application. However, upon touching the track-pad, nothing happens. You wiggle your finger vigourously yet your little mouse-arrow doesn’t flit across the screen like it should.  You press random keys – does ctrl, Alt and del do anything when you click them together? Or was it F4? You don’t know nor do you care, anything to get your laptop working again so you can finish the work your boss should have done over three weeks ago.

Then the screen goes black with a click. The gentle winding down of fans filling the silence of your boss’ office. You briefly lock eyes with your stunned reflection before slamming the lid and with silent fury, stabbing with intercom on your desk for the main reception team.

“Get me IT ASAP.”

There was a knock on the door which startled you from your thoughts.

“Yes?”

The door cracked open slightly and a head popped in. Had you not felt so stressed, you may have taken the time to appreciate the sight before you. Jake Jensen was probably one of the most attractive guys in IT, very much not your average IT Joe. Frosted tips, goatee and round specs were dorky but amplified his features and personality; sharp jaw, bright eyes and a thousand-watt grin that could melt the iceiest of hearts.

“You called for IT?” He asked, opening the door a little further and grinning at you.

“Yes, oh my God.” You flap your hands and gesture worriedly to your laptop on the desk. “it ... died.”

His eyebrows raise rapidly and he nods, pursing his lips slightly. He steps into the room and shuts the door behind him before strolling towards the desk. Your already biting at your nails again, not even looking at how broad his shoulders are (shame on you).

Jake hums, taking a seat at the desk and you come up behind him.

“Died?” he quizzes, pressing the on button. You frown at him. “You sure it didn’t...” He trails and looks up at you, shrugging slightly. “Run out of battery?”

The look you give him has him raising his hands in surrender and smiling a little.

“And before you ask, yes, I turned it off and on again.” You snap, glaring down at him as a smirk tugs at his lips as he hits a few keys. You heave a sigh through your nostirls, pinching the bridge of your nose. “It froze then  gave me the black screen of death. I have a meeting later – well, my boss does but I have to run it – and there’s some important documents I need.”

Jake looks thoughtful and then taps another few keys but your laptop doesn’t respond.

“You know, I’ve seen you around the office,”  Jake says, opening his own laptop and bringing wires out of his little grab bag. “You know almost everyone’s name.”

You watch as he connects everything in awe, shrugging at his statement. “I’m here everyday. It’s hard not to know.”

You don’t realise how close you are, peering over Jake’s shoulder. You're so close he can smell your sweet perfume and it distracts him form his work; putting a USB in the wrong way and missing the  port three times.

“Do you...” He trails again, feeling his cheeks warm as he thinks better of asking if you know his name.

“Can it be fixed?” You ask anxiously, not hearing the beginning of Jake’s would-be question. You look over at him worriedly and he smiles a little nervously himself.

“Maybe,” he says, clicking on his laptop screen and bringing up screens, signs and symbols that you couldn’t comprehend. A loading bar appeared. Its green horizontal bricks flickering into view painstakingly slowly. Your eyes drift to the upper right corner of the dialogue box.

Time remaining: 1 hour

“One hour?!” you say incredulously, your face crestfallen. You were doomed.

Jake looked up at you again feeling some sympathy. Your boss was an ass and everyone knew it. You’d get the blame for a job you weren’t even meant to be doing.  

“Hey, it could take less time” He tried helpfully, giving you a reassuring nudging with his elbow and a small grin.

You rubbed your temples. “Jesus Christ.”

Jake bit back a smile. He knew he shouldn’t laugh at your misfortune – he wasn't -  you just looked very cute right now, all stressed out of your pretty little head in your tight pencil skirt and blazer. His eyes flitted to your kitten-heeled feet and he had to avert his gaze immediately. He shouldn’t be thinking about helping you relieve some stress. 

“I – I could get you a pen and paper?” He suggests and you give him a woeful look and shake your head.

“No.” You sigh and wave a hand. “Thanks, Jake. I appreciate it.”

Jake’s eyes widen slightly. He hadn’t expected you to know who he was. You rarely came by the IT desk – but when you did rush by you always threw a ‘hi’ inside, although you'd never asked him for his name. Little did he know was that the first day he’d started you had gone out of your way to find out his name and, had you not been doing a million and one tasks thanks to your boss, you had probably gone by to chat to him more. And possibly ask him out.

Work always, always, got in the way. You’d missed how he’d looked when he first entered, too distracted and stressed to focus, but now in the silence of the office and having been resigned to wait potentially an hour for your laptop to be potentially functional, you could fully appreciate him.  You let a quiet sigh of relief wash away part of your stress and smile softly down at him. Wow, his eyes were spectacularly blue. You clear your throat little, realising you’d both been stood in silence for over a minute.

Jake coughs awkwardly tapping his fingers restlessly against the wood of the desk. “No worries, Y/N. Hey, if you need some stress relief-“ He gives you another wide grin and wiggles his fingers at you. Your eyes widen, cheeks pinken, and you barely stifle a laugh.

“Excuse me?”

It was Jake’s turn for his eyes to widen and cheeks to pinken. He groans and rolls his eyes dramatically in embarassment. “I- not what I meant. I mean,” he looked at his fingers, then back to you sheepishly. What had he meant?

“No, go on. I’m listening.” You tease, smiling slightly.

“I could ...” Jake fumbles, starting to grin again. “Massage your shoulders, maybe? If you’d like?” he wiggles his fingers again, moving his eyebrows at the same time.

This time you welcome the soft chuckle that bubbles up your throat. He really was as much of a dork as he looked but he was a dork that was easing your stress little by little.

“If you’re offering.” You shrug. You mean it to be teasing, but when Jake jumps to his feet you almost stumble into the desk with a start. A nervous smile creeps over your face as he stands behind you and tentatively rests his large hands on your shoulders.

“Just relax,” his voice is quiet and warm, breath only just tickling your ear and you have to suppress a shiver. You’re about to tell him you were kidding, he doesn’t have to do this, but you stop yourself. You’re wound up and your office crush is offering not only his IT services but a quick massage to relieve tension in your shoulders. Besides, he may not even be that good, right?

Right?

Wrong.

“Oh fuck,” You moan almost pornographically as Jake’s thumb firmly unwinds a tight knot in your shoulder. His grip on your shoulders tightens and you flush red with embarrassment.

“God I’m so sorry,” you ramble. “That felt good – I didn’t realise I was so tense.”

Jake clears his throat from behind you, continuing to rub at your shoulders and back muscles, causing softer moans of satisfaction and relief to fall from your lips.  He’s too close to you, he knows that, almost pressed against you and trying to commit your sounds to memory. You sounded as good as you looked and Jake was trying to keep himself focused to segue into asking you out for drinks, or dinner or both. However, Jake being Jake, and having a beautiful woman softly moaning and whimpering under his touch sending waves of lust down south; the next words out of his mouth made him want to curl up and die.

“You’re so tight,” he comments almost nonchalantly, focused on your muscles when he feels you tense again. You let out a shaky breath and Jake immediately removes his hands from you, holding them in the air.

“Oh God,” he mutters. “I’m sorry. I-I can leave.”

You look over your shoulder at him, eyes blown wide with lust and smirk. Fuck it. You hate your boss, you’ll probably quit after today. A little payback in the form of ruining his office furniture may be what you need.

“Don’t leave,” you say quietly, turning a little more. “it’s okay. You’re not wrong.”

Jake looks at you confused, trying to slot the puzzle pieces together.

“I am tight,” you purr at him, raising an eyebrow and hoping he gets the hint. From the way his eyebrows shoot up and how he mouths in disbelief, unsure of what to say, it’s clear he’s managed to get it. “And if the offer is there, I’d love for you to help me... ease that tension.”

Jake takes a deep breath, eyes never leaving your face. You think for a moment you've just misread the room colossally. But then... he nods.  He takes a step closer to you, fingers ghosting the waist band to your pencil skirt. He swallows thickly, opening his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

“Don’t talk. Just do.” You murmur, leaning close to him and brushing your lips with his. “I want to feel your hands on me again.”

You don't need to tell him twice. Jake’s hands grip your hips and pull you flush against him so quickly all breath leaves your lungs. You can feel how hard he is against your thigh and that only spurs your own excitement as you kiss him hungrily. Jake wastes no time in gripping your ass hard over your pencil skirt and you moan into his mouth in response, desperately trying to remove your blazer that's stuck on your shoulders.

"You always look so good in these," Jake pants, trailing sloppy, needy kisses down your neck. He hitched up your skirt and tugged your panties down hurriedly, before setting you on the edge of your boss' desk. You throw your blazer to the floor, finally free, and wrap your arms around his neck to hold him close.

"Should see me out of them," You tease breathlessly, his large hands kneading at your ass cheeks.

"Plan to." Jake murmurs, kissing the top of your breasts through your blouse. The rosy scent of your perfume clings to your skin and Jake inhales it greedily. You smell divine, as always. He'd always catch a waft anytime you passed by and being here, inhaling it as much as he wanted, was better than he had ever imagined it to be.

He took a moment to admire you sat there with your legs spread open for him, leaning back into your palms with a heated look. He palmed his cock through his slacks. You looked hotter than he imagined too.

"Jake," You huff, reaching between your legs and gathering hot slick from your cunt and spreading it over your clit with a choked moan. "Today, please."

Jake snaps from his trance, his hands fiddling with his belt buckle and the buttons of his slacks, eyes occasionally flicking back to your glistening folds, watching you finger yourself so confidently before him. Too impatient to remove his clothes completely, he pushes his slacks and boxers down just enough to free his throbbing cock, trying not to look too proud when you groan at the sight of it.

Closing the distance between you, he guides his cock over your folds, gathering the heated slick that had accumulated and mixing it with his pre cum. When the tip of his cock brushes your clit you gasp out, your free hand gripping his shoulder to steady yourself as you threw your legs over his hips. Jake curses when he feels your legs tug him closer to you, forcing his cock against you.

"Holy shit," he breathes, smiling at you. "Impatient are we?"

You smile up at him. Your eyes are wide and shimmering with lust. Jake thinks his knees might give out at the sight.

"I think I deserve a treat." You say in a low voice, the hand previously toying with your clit reaching between you to take his silky, hard length and align him with your desperate pussy. With a squeeze of your legs on his back, Jake's body inches forward slightly, the tip of his cock sinking into your heated entrance. Jake stutters a moan and his hands grip at your hips again, harder this time. Your hand releases his cock to grip at his neck instead, readying yourself for the fucking you're about to receive.

Jake’s eyes meet yours as he sinks his cock further into your slick hole, cursing as your walls flutter around him. And that face you're making. God, your face. You look utterly blissed out when his cock reaches its hilt. Jake has to bite down on his lips before a loud moan rips from his throat.

"Fuck, you feel-"

"Tight?" You offer with a teasing grin. Jake licks his lips and fights back a smile, only making him look sexier.

"Amazing." He counters, slowly moving out of you and giving a testing thrust of his hips. Now it was your turn to bite your lips. Your head falls back and you grip Jake’s shoulders even harder. He thrusts again, harder this time, and when you whimper his name and curse, he continues to fuck you with a vice like grip on your hips.

Jake trails kisses to your exposed neck and you mewl needily, a hand of yours knotting into his blond hair as you tug him to your lips. The kisses are sloppy and messy, interspersed with breathy moans and compliments from both of you. One of Jake's hands releases it's grasp on your hips and moves between you, fingers gracefully dancing over your clit.

"Fuck!" You cry out at the sensation, breaking a kiss. Your pussy clenches around Jake’s cock making his eyes roll. Jake’s fingers circle your clit faster, his mouth on yours again swallowing your moans. You can feel pressure building in your core, pleasure racing it's way up your spine leaving you light headed.

"Jake - Jake - Jay-" You're trying to warn him about the floodgates that are about to give way but you don't get a chance. Your chants of his name are cut of by a loud moan as you squirt over his cock. Your eyes roll back and if it weren't for your hold on his neck, you would have fallen back onto the desk. You definitely needed this kind of stress relief.

Your head lolls like your neck is boneless and your glassy eyes meet Jake's again behind his small glasses. He's open-mouthed and flushed, fighting to hold back from cumming as your pussy twitches gently around him after soaking his thighs.

"Shit," He hisses, moving his hips again slowly. "Did you - are you-?" A look of concern brushes his features, checking if you were okay and if you wanted to continue. You almost cum again from how sweet it is.

"Yes." You respond breathily, readjusting your grip on his neck and shoulders. "Now it's your turn. Take a seat."

You nod at your boss' chair behind you and Jake follows your gaze. Flashing you an excited smile he slips from you and, smartly, shoves his slacks and boxers to his feet before taking a seat on the comfortable leather office chair.

You slink from the desk elegantly, leaving your skirt hitched around your hips to give Jake a show of your fine ass. His eyes almost never leave your figure except for when you slide back onto his cock and they roll so far back into his head he sees his brain. Thankfully, chairs in your office are built to lean back so when Jake's back moulds to the chair he gets a much, much better angle of your pussy.

Your thighs ache from your position, legs trapped between Jake's as you fuck yourself on his cock, but you don't care. The soft moans he's trying to control, the way his hands guide your body up and down his cock only fuel your want to milk him for all he's worth. After a particularly choked moan you feel his big cock twitch inside of you.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You ask, voice both soft and desperate. He feels amazing and he's made you feel so relaxed and happy, you're itching to give him the same feeling.

"Yeah I- oh fuck," Jake groans as your ass smacks against his thighs again, the wet sound of skin on skin making it hard to focus on speaking. "'M gonna cum."

"Cum for me, Jake. I wanna feel you cum too." You plead desperately, your bouncing on his cock becoming more and more frenzied and sloppy. Jake felt your pussy tighten around his cock again as you pumped him, drinking him in greedily. He couldn't quite warn you that he was going to cum - just like you hadn't been able to either. He'd began to curse - attempted to say your name - but ultimately feeling you cum around his cock again pushed him over the edge with a sharp intake of breath and a soundless moan.

The room is filled with your panting as you both come down from your highs, your legs still stuck between Jake’s. You twist your head to smile over your shoulder at him, admiring the blissful look and light sheen of sweat on his face.

“You good?” You ask, trying not to giggle. Jake lazily looks up at you, blue eyes glossy behind his glasses that had somehow managed to remain in tact and gives you a lopsided grin.

“More than good.” He affirms, arms slowly encircling your waist and pulling you to lean back into his chest. You oblige, feeling your heart flutter as his chin finds perch on your shoulder.

“Good.” You say quietly, your eyes meeting his. Your hands are delicately placed onto his forearm, holding him in place. A comfortable silence falls for a moment before the laptop dings signalling that whatever work Jake had begun, was now completed. You both look at the laptop a little disheartened.

Jake clears his throat and you startle, mumbling apologies as you clamber off of him, trying to keep your dissatisfaction to losing the feeling of his cock inside you to yourself. You don’t look at him as you pick your panties off the floor, a wash of shame and maybe a bit of guilt rolling over you. You should have made more of an effort to speak to him, ask him for those drinks, before jumping his very sexy bones in your boss' office.

Jake was hitching up his slacks, which thankfully managed to avoid your soaking them. His boxers were wrecked though and he'd be thinking about you all day. Again. He looks over to you, biting his lip thoughtfully before sighing.

“Hey listen,” he began, tapping at the keys of his laptop. You turned and watched him magically power your laptop back to life. “After your meeting would you... like to go to dinner? Or drinks? Or-“

“I'd love to.” You answer immediately, being ripped from your thoughts. You give Jake a bashful yet excitable smile as you turn towards him.

“Yeah?” Jake looks at you now and matches your expression when you nod. “I know a great Thai place.”

“I look forward to it.” You lean forward and peck his cheek. “And thank you, for fixing this. And for... relieving me.”

Jake’s cheeks redden again. “I should be thanking you but unfortunately, duty calls.” He sighs checking his phone and seeing a few more IT Helpdesk calls. He gives you a look that would give the most adorable of puppies a run for their money as he packs away his things. “I’ll see you later?”

You don’t answer straight away. You reach around and tuck your panties into the back pocket of his jeans, pecking his cheek again. “Later.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Can you tell I just needed something sweet after the last one?

[fipindustries]

you know what, this is the REAL list to vote about

How many webcomics of my list have you read?

this is not necesarily every comic i read but is every single one i enjoyed at least at the time i read them

*Homestuck

*sweet bro and hella jeff

*paradox space

*Jailbreak

*Problem Sleuth

*Fleek

*Demon

*Kill six billion demons

*Poppy o'possum

*shallowskin

*Paranatural

*Trying human

*String theory

*The Meek

*Stand still stay silent

*prague race

*tiger, tiger

*penny arcade

*so you're a cartoonist

*fanboys

*endtown

*out of placers

*any other name

*feast for a king

*port sherry

*awkward zombie

*shrub monkeys

*girls next door

*hanna is not a boys name

*foreach

*lackadaisycats

*phoebe and her unicorn

*gunnerkrigg court

*powernap

*ennui go!

*the glass scientists

*sfeer theory

*el goonish shive

*limerence

*le bouletcorp

*apothecia

*dresden codak

*venus envy

*the perry bible fellowship

*CyLynn

*concession

*ava's demon

*scandinavia and friends

*i am my own mascot

*isidore and friends

*sandra and woo

*oglaff

*meange a 3

*wacky lesbian hour

*prequel

*love me nice

*/fit/ comics

*manly guys doing manly things

*the property of hate

*TF2 comics

*let's speak english

*litterbox

*gaysome

*xkcd

*smbc

*team special olympics

*demon´s mirror

*translucid

*warrior U

*hark! a vagrant

*the anime club 70

*cucumber quest

*seed

*clarissa

*hobo lobo of hamelin

*sexy losers

*asaekkiga

*bomango

*2D googles

*the adventures of TJ and amal

*ctrl+alt+del

*disregarding reality ;)

[berrystainedsue]

my favourite bite sized fics! you can find the rest of the posts under the tag 'grapejuicebluesrry 2024 fic rec'.

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Keep Us Like A Secret (6K) by youresoawkward | @bisexvalziam

“Oh, Zayn,” Liam half-groans, half-coos. “Don’t be upset, babe. I’m just playing.” Liam leans forward to place the laptop onto the coffee table with one arm, while reaching toward Zayn with the other, hand circling Zayn’s wrist, gently tugging to get Zayn to move into Liam’s waiting arms for a cuddle. Except, Zayn can’t move. He’s frozen, looking at the laptop – his laptop – sitting open on the last page he’d visited.

He feels his heart rate pick up as he stares at the screen, picture of a busty woman in lacy lingerie featured prominently on the webpage next to the sizing, pricing, and colour options for the bra and panties she’s wearing.

--

Or, Liam discovers Zayn's interest in women's underclothes, and helps Zayn explore a side of himself that he's been making a conscious effort to ignore.

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Standing On the Edge of Falling (5K) by therogueskimo | @bravetemptation

“There’s a bit of a situation in one of the tenting areas, and you two are the perfect people to handle it.”

“Get on with it, then.”

“Some fucker’s brought a whole TV in and is streaming the England/Slovakia game. A whole crowd’s gathered, over a hundred people, at least, and it’s blocking walkways between the tents. I need you two to go shut it down.”

~~~

It’s Harry’s first security gig, and somehow, he landed Glastonbury. Unfortunately, he’s been tasked with telling a very gorgeous man that he can’t stream the football match. Things go … much better than expected.

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Foolishly, Completely Falling (8K) by dea_liberty

"Now that he’s actually gone and done it, there seems to be no way of going back - no rinse and repeat, no ctrl+alt+del, no abort button, no help to be had. He’s fallen into a black hole and he cannot seem to find a way out. The black hole is also known as Tumblr. More specifically, it’s known as Tumblr’s Larry Stylinson tag."

OR: The one where Louis becomes a Larry shipper by accident.

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Louis’ Collarbones Religion (4K) by MartiniBianco

Oh sweet Louis. He's right that the interviewers were ruthless. But that's not what's making Harry restless.

No, it's that damn maroon t-shirt he's wearing. Every little movement he makes, the scoopneck moves and he shows off his collarbones and that damn tattoo. It is what it is. He should have talked Louis that damn tattoo out of his head while he still had the chance – before it taunted him at every possible occasion.

He's shaken out of his daydream by Louis hugging him. “Almost there mate, you can take a warm shower and relax, forget all about those bastard journalists.”

Well, Harry is planning on taking a hot shower. But maybe not exactly like Louis imagines.

---

aka Harry figures out he might not be super straight after obsessing over Louis' collarbones.

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what must it be like to grow up that beautiful (8K) by angelsueavenue

"Love, please tell me you're joking," Louis says seriously, but he's still smiling a little.

"Why would I be joking? Why is this so funny?"

"Harry! You're literally the definition of a sub."

Harry gawps, nearly looking offended and setting his mug down to turn more towards Louis. "And how would you know?"

"Literally anyone who knows you would know that."

"I highly doubt that," Harry huffs. "Who really knows? Maybe I'm a dom."

Louis barks out a laugh, shaking his head. "Now that is funny."

Or: Harry doesn’t believe that he’s submissive. Louis makes it his mission to prove him wrong.

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You Don’t Tell The Truth, No, You Like Playing Games (4K) by tommosgotabangerr

“I.. have another idea of something we can do to pass time.. If you’re up for a little drinking game?” Harry suggests, raising his eyebrows in challenge as he turns his body to face Louis. Louis quirks an eyebrow at Harry and chuckles, gesturing for him to continue.

“Let’s play truth or dare, if you don’t tell the truth or complete the dare, you drink. Or we can just take a drink at the end of every turn, the drinking part is negotiable.” Harry moves to sit in front of Louis with his legs crossed over each other, setting the bottle down between them on the floor. Louis just stares at Harry waiting to see if he is being serious, but Harry only stares back, a smile spreading across his lips as he folds his arms over his chest.

“Alright fuck it, why not” Louis grabs the bottle and takes another short swig, setting the bottle back down where Harry had set it. He squirms in place to get comfortable and looks back up at Harry.

Or the one where Louis and Harry are trapped in their building's elevator and Harry suggests an innocent game of 'Truth or Dare" that becomes less innocent when wine and Harry's crush on Louis gets involved.

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You can remain unaware (if you want) (7K) by harryanthus

And Harry smiled revealing a dimple on his milky cheeks and Louis was helplessly endeared by the little boy, he never thought anyone could be more precious than him.

And it never ever changed.

or the au where soul marks get coloured when they realise they’re in love with their soul mate and Harry has a coloured soul mark, Louis doesn’t.

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discover more fics under the cut!

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giving you all you want and more (giving you every piece of me) (2.5K) by lousdelicatepointofview (starryhaze) | @starryhaze28

“Wanna feel pretty.” Harry whispers, looking up at the ceiling. His face is painted in a soft yellow hue that’s coming from the fairy lights Louis has hung all over his loft. His features look soft, cherubic even.

He’s so young, so young and broken and Louis always patches him up but never fixes him.

“You are my love.” Louis replies his finger tracing over the right laurel tattoo. And Louis knows by the way Harry grimaces that he doesn’t believe him.

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Half a World Away (9K) by SilverStuff50 | @silverstuff50

Bothy: A bothy is a basic shelter, usually left unlocked and available for anyone to use free of charge. It was also a term for basic accommodation, usually for gardeners or other workers on an estate. Bothies are found in remote mountainous areas of Scotland, Northern England, Ulster and Wales. They are particularly common in the Scottish Highlands, but related buildings can be found around the world (for example, in the Nordic countries, there are wilderness huts).

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It’s You (1.8K) by BwritesFF | @iamjoemomma

Harry’s REAL Grammy speech for aoty

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Trouble up (in hotel rooms) (9K) by larryisinlove

“Isn't this room 82?” Louis asked. Because he was confused, because that wasn't Liam, because those serene but serious green eyes intimidated him and because he had never, in all his life, felt as embarrassed as he did in that moment, and he couldn't think of anything else to say.

“No,” replied the brown-haired man, in a hoarse voice; perhaps because he had just woken up, or because he was upset, or perhaps a mixture of both. “This is room 28”.

“Oh” was all Louis could answer, as he wished that the carpet would swallow him up and make him disappear from probably the most uncomfortable moment of his life.

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tastes so sweet (5K) by 28goldensfics | @28goldens

louis is information desk mates with harry at the aquarium and has grown quite fond of the way he talks and the way his mouth moves. but louis thinks if harry doesn’t stop sucking on those stupid, cherry, heart shaped lollipops, he might have to do something about it.

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Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy (5K) by not_fitzwilliam | @not-fitzwilliam-darcy

Harry's savior complex has often led him to rather questionable situations, but this might take the cake. When a miscalculated decision leads to an accidental courtship with the sweetest, most gentle alpha, Harry is torn between breaking the alpha's heart and telling the truth. Yes, Louis does seem to give unorthodox courting gifts, but he is rather endearing and Harry is just an omega, after all.

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Alone and Back Again (4K) by LadyLondonderry | @londonfoginacup

Harry Styles has very few enemies, and even fewer friends.

On the outskirts of the village, past the stream but before the river, sits a small one-room cottage, cool in the summers but draughty in the winters.

In that one room cottage sits a cooking pot over a fire, a smaller selection of woodworking tools, and a nest of furs that is the pride and joy of one lonely omega.

Or, what does one do when a feral alpha shows up in town ready to be executed?

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Let the Feeling Last (5K) by allwaswell16 | @allwaswell16

Omega Harry thinks the alpha at the grocery store buying a cart full of vegetables must be an amazing chef. He doesn't know that Alpha Louis is feeding all those vegetables to his pet pig.

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Stars over Amsterdam (4K) by HelloLovers13 | @hellolovers13

Louis remembers how stressed they were, trying to get tickets at all. The waiting for the email with the code, which only Louis got, the actual On-sale. How Harry stood behind him, peeling at his nails nervously. Trying not to distract Louis.

But it had all gone smoothly and he had gotten the tickets within just a few minutes.

Harry had jumped around Louis’s chair in excitement like a bouncing ball. Already starting to plan their outfits.

A gold fringe dress for Harry, Fearless was his favourite album, after all, and a matching shirt he had found online for Louis. So people could tell right away they were an item.

That was their plan. Before it all went to shit.

or

Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex.

Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.

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Unplant (4K) by HelloLovers13 | @hellolovers13

Please do not disturb my plant She needs 2 hours of sunlight a day and I live in a sunless flat I’ll be back to collect her soon Thank you and stay well.

or

Louis should've looked where he was going, then he wouldn't have to desperately try to save a little flower now.

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Your lipstick stain is a work of art. (9K) by rxselouis 

Letting a friend move in with you can go two ways. You either start hating each other or your friendships keeps growing. Since Harry is the only friend Louis has, he wants their friendship to last. Things are going well until Harry gets dumped by a guy again, forcing Louis to be Harry’s plus one at a Sabrina Carpenter concert. While that lays outside of his comfort zone, he agrees, not knowing he’ll have to help Harry out with his outfit.

He wants lipstick stains all over his body.

[silentglassbreak]

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

I’m getting some of the most amazing comments and reblogs, I thank you all so deeply!! I love this story so much. I love where I know it’s going, so please trust me?

Warnings: Good ol' fashioned misery.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86

Part 4 - Graveyard

I could feel how flighty she was, like a feral cat that could scurry with any sudden movements. I held my hands out, trying to ease tension, and failing.

“Baby,” Her face was unreadable. Something between bewilderment and pure shock, but also seething rage, possibly. “nothing happened.”

She stared at me, waiting for me to say more, but I didn’t.

“That’s all you’ve got?” She was mocking me, and my stupidity. Good. I deserve it.

“Yes. Because that’s all there is.”

Her eye roll was as dramatic as they come, nearly making her head spin.

“Well, she was sure worked the fuck up, Noah. Sounded like a little more than nothing.”

The evenness in her voice contradicted her body language. She was now stood, hands in the air, confrontational.

“She’s insane.”

Her eyebrows jumped, a look of disbelief on her face.

“A girl essentially professes her love to you, and you call her insane?”

Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely.

“Leena, I’m not just being an asshole here. She has actually fucking lost it.”

I tried to mimic her calm, hoping this would steer the conversation on a healthier course.

That hope was thrown out when her voice jumped several decibels.

“Oh fuck you, Noah!” I could see them now, the hot, angry tears, rising to the surface, not quite ready to spill over. “People aren’t just so fucking obsessed with you that they make that kind of shit up!”

My eyes were staring at her, a frantic anxiety now rising inside me.

“She did! I’ve never, not fucking once, given her any ideas! She’s fucking mental, Mileena!”

“What happened at the club, Noah?” Her voice was back down, her hands hanging helpless at her sides.

“Nothing happened. We talked, and she spilled a fucking drink on me, and herself, so I-“

“Back up.” She put her hand up. “Don’t gloss over the details. Walk me through it.”

I shrugged hard. “I was alone, sitting on the couch, and she came over to talk to me. She had already had a few, and was pretty drunk when she approached me.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, frustration bubbling. “She spilled her drink on both of us.”

“So you were sitting pretty close together?” She raised an eyebrow, her arms again crossed in front of her.

“Jesus, Mileena, it’s a club! It was loud!” I threw my hands in the air and eyed her, irritated. “Since when are you the jealous type?!”

Her mouth fell open, and I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. What a stupid fucking thing to say. Of course she’s not. That’s not what this was.

“The jealous type?!” How do I delete the last ten seconds? “You think this is me being jealous?!”

Ctrl + Alt + Del?! End Task?!

“You’re the one that’s fucking insane, Noah!” She turned, grabbing her phone off of the nightstand. “Let me show you how your behavior changed since that night.”

She unlocked her phone, opened our thread, and began scrolling. I didn’t even need to be close to see, my texts were back to back, five to six at a time, or paragraph long messages. She switched to her call logs, which was just my name over and over the past several days.

I would like to hand in my resignation to life now, please.

“Since that night, you’ve been blowing me up, and being extra affectionate, and clingy.” She scoffed, locking her phone and tossing it on the bed. “First I thought you just missed me but-“

“I did miss you!”

“You felt fucking guilty, Noah!” Her voice was nearing a scream. “Now quit pussy-footing around it and tell me what fucking happened that night!”

I sat down in the bed, and took a deep breath.

“Please believe me when I tell you, nothing actually happened.”

She stayed planted, several feet away.

“We left the club, I gave her a ride because she was going to Uber, and that wasn’t safe.” She was deathly silent. “Car ride took about thirty minutes because of traffic. We just listened to music, sang the songs on the radio.”

“She made a bit of a pass at me before she got out, saying something like she wanted to get to know me better? Or something like that. I don’t remember verbatim.”

“Then?”

“I went back to the club.”

She shifted her weight, leaning back on the desk against the wall. “That’s it? That’s all?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “No.”

She visibly tensed, so I just went on.

“She texted me later. Said she left her vape in the car.” I looked up at her, trying to earn some kind of emotion. I was met with nothing but ice. “So I went to go get it.”

“She couldn’t get it herself?”

I didn’t have an answer for that. She could’ve. She offered.

“I found it, and took it to her room.” Her face almost looked like it was turning a sickly shade of green. “She opened the door, in her underwear, and a crop top.”

Her fingers were gripping the edge of the desk so hard that it was likely to snap if she didn’t let up.

“She invited me in. I left. Went back to my room. And avoided her ever since.”

Her hands eased ever so gently, but she didn’t let up her gaze. Seeing she wasn’t satisfied with that, I swiped my own phone from the table, and opened to Rachel’s text thread, handing her the phone.

“See? Nothing.”

She scrolled, eyes reading the one-sided conversation from the last few days.

“Only other thing I can tell you is that Folio told me that she said some shit to him at the bar, that she liked me? Or wanted to sleep with me?” I sighed. “I don’t know, and I don’t really care.”

She nodded, locking my phone, but still had yet to speak. She was thinking, going over it in her head, checking for holes, but there were none. That was all of it. I didn’t do anything wrong.

“I have only one question.” She handed my phone back to me, and I just nodded. “In the hall, she asked you if you considered it, going in her room. If you thought about it.”

My stomach dropped, my mouth went dry, and my heart stopped, all in the same fraction of a second before her next words came out.

“Did you?”

Where do I go from here? My brain, my heart, and all of my senses screamed at me to lie.

But I couldn’t.

Last time I lied to Mileena, I was drinking. And she left me. And who would know? Who could prove me wrong?

But…I couldn’t.

“Yes.”

I saw something, I can’t say what exactly, break behind her eyes. A tear finally spilled out over her cheek, and I saw her jaw clench under her skin. I felt as though I had just cut a cord on a rope bridge that held me up, and now I was just falling. Plummeting.

“Oh…” Her voice was so small now, and I felt something inside me shredding. Screaming. I’m such a fucking idiot.

Good one, Sebastian. Way to take it to your grave, dumbass.

But this was a grave, that I somehow ended up in, that I didn’t even fucking dig. It was fucking aggravating.

I stood up, reaching for her, but she flinched, putting an arm up between us, and squeezed her lids closed. More tears leaked from her eyes, and she only cracked them open for a second.

“Can you, uh, give me a few minutes?” She averted her eyes away, and I backed away from her out of respect. “I’m just…” She waved her hands around her head. “processing.”

I nodded. “Of course.” Shrugging, I pulled my shirt off. “I can take a shower? And we can talk more after?”

She only nodded in response, wiping her face.

I made my way into the bathroom, leaving the door open. I decided to take a quick shower, trying to wash the anxiety off of me. It was out in the open now, the fun part was working through it, and reminding Leena that no one else compared to her, and my idiotic brain was never going to turn on me like that again.

Imagine my shock when I stepped out of the bathroom, and my hotel room was empty, her bag, phone, and shoes gone. I ran over to my cell, opening it to call her when it began ringing, Nick’s face flashing.

I opened the call with haste. “What’s up?” My voice was frantic.

“Dude, what the fuck happened?!”

-

My fist was slamming into the door harder with each swing, the phone up to my ear telling me I was getting voicemail, again.

I growled, and beat on the door harder. “Open the fucking door, Rachel!”

I felt a set of hands on my shoulders, tugging backward.

“Noah! Calm the fuck down!” I fought back against Folio, as the door to the room swung open.

Rachel’s eyes were still thick with sleep, her hair hanging in a low ponytail. This time, she was fully clothed. Hilarious.

“You fucking psychopath!” My logical brain was gone, and I was fully primal, as I lunged toward her. Several hands had me around the waist, arms, and one on my chest. Nick’s face came into my line of vision.

“Noah, stop! Fucking stop!”

“No! She’s fucking insane! She knows what the fuck she’s doing!” I was baring my teeth like an animal, my hands balled into fists.

She stared at me, terrified, eyes blown wide and nearly hiding behind the door.

“W-What are you talking about?” Her words were timid, which only enraged me further.

“Don’t pull that bullshit! You knew she’d hear you! You manipulative bitch!”

A hard slap came across my cheek, and I glared over at Nick, who had taken a defensive step back.

As angry as I should’ve been, I was instead brought back to reality, realizing it was at least 1AM, in a hotel hallway.

“You good, dude?” My eyes stared at his, my body softening with each passing second. Eventually, the hands holding me loosened, and I shrugged away from them.

I nodded at Nick, who pushed my shoulder down the hallway toward another door. “C’mon dude, let’s go talk.”

“Is he drunk?” I could hear Rachel’s voice behind me, and I snarled, almost turning around before I heard Folio.

“Oh shut up, Rachel. You’ve done enough.”

Safely inside the room, I sat heavily on the bed, and dropped my head in my hands. My friends stood around me, staring down at me.

“She left?” Folio’s voice was sad, and I just nodded, staring at the floor.

“She came and got Laura about half an hour ago. She was crying. Said they had to leave.”

I picked my head up. “Laura was in your room?”

Nick raised his brows at me. “Is that really your concern right now?”

I heaved a breath and flopped back onto the bed, covering my face with both arms.

“She’s not answering my calls.”

“Fill us in, man.” Jolly sat next to me.

I had to go through all of the details again, them all asking various questions. By the end, I was more calm, but still so fucking angry.

“I’ve got to get home, man. I can’t ride back with her.”

Nick nodded. “We can rent a car in the morning? Drive back alone?”

“Pfft, and leave us with the wicked witch?”

I snorted at Folio’s comment.

“What the fuck am I going to do?”

“For starters, I’m calling Sumerian tomorrow. Figure out our options, legally.” Leave it to Jolly to use his right mind. “For now, you need to stay away from her.”

Standing up, I moved toward the bedroom door, squeezing the handle before opening it. “Not a problem. Just keep her the fuck away from me.”

Back in my room, I promptly blocked Rachel’s number from my phone, electing not to send her a last scathing text message.

I then, profusely, called Mileena. I was met with voicemail, leaving a few in my endeavor to reach her. I must have done this for hours before finally falling asleep, fully clothed, on top of the comforter.

When I awoke, Nick was jostling my shoulder, a duffel hanging from his shoulder.

“Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty. I’ve got the rental downstairs.”

I obeyed, gathering my things haphazardly, and following him to the lobby, not bothering to stop to brush my teeth or comb my hair. I didn’t care. Nothing mattered.

The drive back to Calabasas was long, hot, and irritating. I was slumped in the passenger’s seat while Nick drove. About half an hour in, I finally spoke.

“What if she doesn’t forgive me?”

Nick scoffed. “Please.” I glanced at him inquisitively. “She’s forgiven you for worse.”

I bumped my head back into the headrest repeatedly, groaning. “I hate this.”

“I know. But it’ll all work out, dude. Mileena loves you, and she’s a reasonable person.”

I nodded, accepting that answer.

“So…” He turned to look at me for a second. “You and Laura?” This made him crack a smile, that I returned.

“She’s fucking cool, dude.”

I slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Damn good baker, too.”

He nodded. “Yeah, she made me this cheesecake for my birthday? Fuck, man. Amazing!”

My mouth fell open. “Your birthday was five months ago!”

He laughed. “Dude, you miss a lot.”

I shook my head. “You little shit, couldn’t tell your best friend?!”

“Sure, if my best friend wasn’t always so wrapped up in his own drama.”

I punched a fist at his shoulder, laughing.

“Jackass.”

-

I opened the front door, and was met with overwhelming silence. No Angel barking. No TV playing. No voices. Nothing.

I moved slowly into the house, feeling an overwhelming nausea, as I bound up the stairs toward my room to deposit my bag. It was clear no one was here, but I didn’t know what to expect the further into the house I got.

The note was laying on the middle of the bed, but I didn’t pick it up immediately. I set my bag down and opened one of the dresser drawers, Leena’s pants drawer, which was empty. I then walked into the closet, where all I found were empty hangers on her side. I jogged down the hall to Addie’s room, where I found her walker, diapers, wipes, and clothes were gone. Even Angel’s bed that was always laid in the corner was gone.

My heart sunk, and I walked slowly back to my room, picking up the folded paper on the blanket, opening it to see her clean script.

Addie, Angel, and I will be staying at Laura’s for a while. Dad left this morning. When you’re ready to come see the baby, text Laura.

-Leena

I dropped the note, it falling gently back to the bed. Without thinking, my hand grabbed the lamp on the side table, slinging it at the wall behind the dresser, causing it to shatter.

“God damn it!” I screamed, my words echoing around the empty house. The tears fell hot onto the bed, my teeth grinding tightly together.

-

I let a few hours pass, taking a cold shower, and forcing myself to calm down. I ate a bowl of cereal, choking down each bite while fighting against the nausea settled in my gut. After I had gotten dressed, and relaxed enough to know I wouldn't explode at any given moment, I texted Laura.

Me: Hey

I didn't have to wait long.

Laura: Hey

Me: Can I come see Addie?

Laura: Of course

The drive to her house took about twenty minutes. I had rehearsed over and over what I would say to Leena, how I would convince her to come back home with me. How we could move past this.

But when I pulled up to the house, I was disappointed to see only Laura's car in the driveway, Leena's Tahoe nowhere in sight.

When Laura answered the door, she had Addison on her hip, who gave a large, single-toothed smile as soon as she saw me. Any hesitation and anxiety I had melted the very second I laid eyes on my daughter. I hadn't held her in months, and right now, all that mattered was her.

"Hey baby girl!" She reached her little arms out for me, and I scooped her up enthusiastically, planting a long, hard kiss on her cheek. She squealed in excitement. "Ugh, I missed you so much."

I squeezed her into my chest, her hands grabbing at my hair. She smelled so sweet, the baby scent still having a full effect on me. Laura moved to the side to let me in, and Angel ran up, barking in excitement.

"Hey buddy!" I squatted down, still holding Addie, and ran a hand over Angel, who licked me with fervor. "Been taking care of my girls?"

He barked in response.

I stood back up, and gave Laura a smile, not entirely sure where we stood. She returned it, a warm look in her eyes. I felt some relief, knowing I had someone on my side.

"Hey Noah." She gave me a one-armed hug, almost sympathetically, and shut the door behind me.

I walked over to the couch, sitting and letting Addie down. She began walking on wobbly legs toward her toys sprawled across the rug, Angel right behind, always watching.

"She's not here?" I looked up at Laura, who had sat cross-legged across from me on the floor. She just shook her head sadly. "Can I ask where she is?"

She just sighed. "She's asked me not to say. She wants to be alone."

I nodded, not surprised. "I don't know what to do Laura."

She leaned back on her palms, stretching her legs. "I wish I could tell you, hon. But I don't know. She's hurt."

I huffed, frustrated. "I didn't do anything. I was good, I didn't cheat on her, I didn't fuck around."

Laura eyed me, unamused. "Noah, you admitted you thought about sleeping with another woman." She put her hand up, gesturing to me. "Can you say you'd feel different if she did that to you?"

I considered this, realizing I hadn't thought about it that way at all. She had a valid point.

"Fair. I just want the chance to explain that it doesn't matter. I love her, no one else. I don't want anyone else."

Her eyes were so soft. Laura heard me, which I appreciated. Hopefully she could convince Leena of the same.

I spent two hours playing with Addie, and feeding her lunch, before Laura excused herself to the bedroom to take a phone call. I had just cleaned up Addison, and was removing her from the highchair when Laura walked back in, her phone in hand.

"Here, let me change her clothes, you take this." She handed me the cell and I looked down to see the call open, Leena's face on the screen.

I looked at Laura, who just nodded while she turned and took Addison in the next room.

"Hey!" My voice was so jumpy, I cleared my throat to calm it down. "Where are you?"

"I went to a meeting." Her words were stale, no feeling behind them.

"Oh, that's good." I stepped out the back door, pulling it closed behind me. "Are you going to come back? I really need to see you."

Her breath was loud on the other end, slightly ragged. "Noah, I don't want to see you."

What is the feeling when you feel like your skin is going to melt off, but your insides are completely frozen? Is there a name for that? Panic, maybe?

"You don't." It wasn't a question. She didn't respond. "Okay, uh," I kicked at the dirt under my feet. "I don't know what to say to that."

"I don't know if I can do this, Noah."

Shattered? Devastated? There's a fucking name for it.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't bring my words above a whisper, given the wind had been knocked right out of me. She wasn't saying what I thought she was, was she?

"There's always going to be a tour. Time away. Me home with Addie. A girl who throws herself at you. Lots of them."

"Leena-"

"And, it's just too hard, Noah."

Shaking. I was fucking shaking.

"No, babe-"

"I can't do it. Not now. Not with Addie. I thought I could. I really, really did."

"Leena, listen-" I was yelling now, but she just kept talking.

"I love you too much. And I love us. But we can't be us. Because you're a rockstar. And you have a career, and a life."

"I have you! And Addison! I'll quit right fucking now, Mileena! I will call Sumerian right now and tell them I'm out. Forever. I'll ghost write. I'll produce from home. I'll never tour again!" I was desperate. I was begging.

"No, you won't, Noah. You love it. It's your dream. I won't let you."

"I love you! I won't lose you over this! Rachel is nothing! Nothing!"

"It's not just her. How many more Rachels will there be?" I heard her voice cracking. "And I'll be at home, with Addison. We can't go on tour with you. I can't always be there. Noah, I just can't."

"Mileena, I'll do anything. Please."

"Take Addie for the night. Or a couple days. She missed you."

"God damn it Leena, stop and listen to me!"

"We can work out me having her while you're on tour. You can have her when you're home, or we can split the time if it's not a heavy year." She sighed. "We don't need to worry about custody."

"Custody?!" I was full-blown screaming. "Mileena! You're overreacting! Please!"

"I'm sure you think so. But you haven't been where I am. You haven't seen what I have! You haven't been left behind! I was, Noah! And I supported you! Through it all! I happily stayed home with Addison while you chased your dreams, and became the success you are! And when I finally have you back, I hear you almost slept with another woman?! You considered it?!" She stopped abruptly, her words blurring together, sobs shaking her words.

She took a moment to compose, which was fine, because trying to swallow everything she had just said was proving to be more difficult than I expected.

"I'm not going to do this." She paused for only a beat. "Take Addison. Let me know when I can come pick her up. The car seat should still be in your truck."

I couldn't speak, my mind was blank. My brain was flattened.

"Just be gone by six." And the line went dead, the phone beeping, signaling the end of the call.

Oh. That's what this feeling was.

Pain.

[maryellencarter]

You know, I wonder -- I've been watching a lot of Elden Ring bingo videos recently, very interesting stuff, and of course soulsbornes like that are all about learning enemy attack patterns and getting the correct response inputs. (My friend @asimplecreature says it's like a conversation or a debate, in the language of combat.)

And I'm thinking... of course, I'm very much a latecomer to video games at all, I was well into my twenties before I ever picked one up, and well into my thirties before I held a controller. So I'm not confident in my combat skills, I tend to flail and hit wrong buttons through sheer lack of the requisite muscle memory.

(Anything in Breath of the Wild that requires more than two inputs at a time just doesn't stick. I still can't remember how to shield surf without looking it up every time, and I have to just stand around practicing backflips for a while every time I want to try a flurry rush. People who can actually play BotW say the flurry timings in Age of Calamity are much tighter, but I find them far easier to get because it's one button, not a friggin timed ctrl-alt-del equivalent that's also directional -- you won't get the flurry in BotW if the lock-on changed your facing direction such that you're not flipping either directly backward or directly sideways, but in AoC you can flurry in any direction including forwards.)

However! Anyway! What I'm thinking right now, because I have been playing video games for a few years and I'm definitely better at them than I think I am, but I still play as anxiously as if everything is permadeath nuzlocke etc. And of course I just picked Mass Effect back up, which was my very first video game back in the day, so I'm kind of comparing that to the games I've played since.

So I'm pondering, and what occurs to me is, I wonder how much of my playstyle is still just completely formed by the fact that my first game, and the first one I spent hundreds of hours in, was not just Mass Effect but specifically ME3 multiplayer. A great game, a co-op game, still one of the best designed co-op multiplayers I've seen and I miss it dearly (the servers are still up afaik but the shelter wifi blocks it and I have no friends to play with), but I was playing it on extremely underspecced hardware, generally off-host, with laggy internet, so I developed a playstyle that relied extremely heavily on spammable moves -- biotic charge is a big one, I don't play a vanguard in singleplayer because in singleplayer I let my squad do a lot of the work, but in multiplayer "waggle the reticle in the general direction of the enemy while spamming the biotic charge button until it locks on, rely on iframes to not get killed" has always been one of my two main strategies. (The other one is "play a geth juggernaut, let the enemies aggro on me, and drain their shields to stay alive while punching them in the face".)

So I've really just never... trained, I guess, on the kind of gaming where *precise* inputs rather than spammy ones are the way to go. (I'm absolutely crap on a stick at platformers. Every so often I pick up Kirby and the Forgotten Land again, get about five or six levels in, find out that I still just don't have the physical coordination to ever hope to 100% it, get frustrated and leave.)

(Age of Calamity rewards precise combos, there's a very high "skill ceiling" as they say, but you *can* simply barrel through with spamming and overleveling, so I generally do. Which is why I've been stopped for a while just after the point where you get four new characters at once all of whom have intensely quirky movesets that strongly reward putting in the effort to learn and use them properly. I can sort of klutz my way through a level with most of them, but I know perfectly well that in order to *enjoy* them I'm looking at probably maining each one through a run of the whole game to this point, to really figure them out.)

I don't know if I'm going anywhere with this. Do I want to try to change how I play? I don't know. The closest I've ever gotten to a soulsborne-type "git gud" challenge was definitely that one shrine in BotW's One-Hit Obliterator challenge, the one... I think it's called Stop to Start? It's full of spikes, and the conceit of the challenge is that you die if any of them touch you, and there are like five differently styled sections of obstacle course in a row and if you die on any one you get sent all the way back to the beginning of the path. So you have to develop an endlessly replicable strategy for every single fucking section, get a little farther and a little farther and die and die and die, and I *loathed* it. But I also tend to take dying in a video game as a personal affront (see also playing everything like a nuzlocke), which... presumably doesn't help? With anything?

[paperpalooka]

10 things for 10 people you'd like to know better

Tagged by @indigotheimperishable

last song: assuming it means the literal last song I heard, it was Angry Bowser from Paper Mario. My phone has been on shuffle for years. If you mean the last song I like, ive been vibing with Big Shot from Deltarune Chapter 2. Tickles my adhd brain the same way U.N. Owen was Her? does.

last book: Iron Widow, a book of rage laser focused on the patriarchy through the lens of Pacific Rim and Chinese history. I cannot recommend it enough.

last movie: Wicked for in theater, at home I'm sure I watched something else but can't think of it.

last tv show: community. We are nearing the end of season 2 and we are slamming face first into late 2000s homophobia, but yknow it's very funny when it isn't doing that.

sweet/savory/spicy: feed me salt. I am the anti-slug.

relationship status: married ten years as of December to a woman I consider a deity heh heh (how did you pull Her?!? you may ask. Heh. I was an idiot online and it turns out God is a morosexual)

last thing I googled: raikou tiger poster. "Raikou" tiger poster. Tiger poster. "Tiger poster" raikou. "Zoobooks" "raikou".

I did not find it on Google and had to brave tumblr search.

current obsession: making a minecraft modpack to make the game new while also being the way my wife likes the game. It's a thin line to walk! She has very particular taste, hence her husband. I'm also thinking of working on my dark souls deck builder legacy concept game again.

looking forward to: gaming with my hawt gamer gf, she's like lilah from ctrl alt del if she were real and Divine (amen)

I'm not gonna tag anyone, but if you wanna participate feel free! I love you all.

[qwuilty]

I want to gush about a specific panel but I have to wait because it's not out yet publicly so in the meantime um

does anyone else like when Scott is drawn with his little opaque glasses especially when he's more out of frame

He's so adorable i love him so much and i hope we get more and more of him I know we just got a very Scott focused arc but my heart is greedy. And I want him so much

[therpistlr]

🌟 Does Your Brain Feel Like a Glitchy Computer? Let’s Reboot Together! 🌟

Hey FND warrior, if your body’s playing tricks on you—sudden tremors, wonky walking, or limbs that just won’t cooperate—I see you. It’s like your nervous system threw a tantrum and now you’re stuck troubleshooting. But here’s the truth: Your brain isn’t broken—it’s stuck in a bad habit loop. And the way out? Retraining, redirection, and a whole lot of self-compassion.

Why Daily FND Work Matters (Even When It Feels Silly)

Your brain is incredibly adaptable—it just needs the right cues to rewrite its wonky code. Think of rehab like:

🖥️ Pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL on faulty movement patterns (goodbye, glitchy gait!).

🧠 Teaching Your Brain New Shortcuts (so "stand up" doesn’t trigger a system error).

💪 Building Mind-Body Trust (because right now, your body feels like an unreliable roommate).

Skipping days? That’s like unplugging a computer mid-update—it’ll just freeze again. But showing up daily? That’s how you defrag your nervous system and reclaim control.

Your Game-Changer? This FND Workbook:

📘 The FND Workbook: Techniques for Overcoming Functional Neurological Symptoms

This isn’t just exercises—it’s your symptom-busting toolkit, with: ✨ Neuroplasticity Hacks (to rewire faulty signals without freaking out). ✨ Stress-Resets (because anxiety + FND = a vicious cycle). ✨ Baby-Step Wins (like "walked to the mailbox without my legs forgetting how").

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel like a puppet with cut strings—and that’s part of the process. But every small effort adds up to big change.

💬 Tell me below: What’s the funniest/most absurd thing FND has made your body do? (I once sneezed and my arm waved like I was royalty. 👑) 👇 Tag someone who gets it—we’re all debugging our systems here!

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

I love computer viruses bc they are consistent proof that computers are inherently human machines.

So often we talk about computers and AI and viruses like they are this alien other *thing*, unknowable and all-powerful. And that’s cool and intriguing! But I love seeing how computers are inextricable from the people who make and use them. Because without any human interaction, a computer is just… wires and chips with nothing to do. Even AI requires a human to write the original software so it can learn. And that human is a flawed, biased being with their own wants and needs and grudges, and it shows in what they make, because computers are another expression of human creation and I love it so much.

And then there is Joshi.

Joshi infects DOS computers. Relevant in the early 90s, not so much now. Very people use DOS now or will use it in the future. But, for a couple years, on several systems around the globe, some little sibling or cousin had their birthday memorialized. Someone went to the trouble of writing a program to infect floppy disks, stay memory resident, hook interrupts to fake a warm reboot when pressing CTRL-ALT-DEL, just to force users to type “Happy Birthday Joshi!” every January 5th on boot.

And gosh if that isn’t so *painfully* human. Gets me every time. I love you Joshi. I hope you have a good birthday every year.

[priohuq]

This came into my head last night.

Realised too late in the process that I ended up with a somewhat CTRL+ALT+DEL art style. I'm at a loss.

Not that anyone cares, but at some point I unshackled myself from adobe stuff. Tried out Gimp for cleaning up my scans and all, but. I don't know how to do anything and also it's somehow slower. Doesn't feel great. More experimenting needed.

[suga-kookiemonster]

Heeeey, how are you? I wanted to ask you, now that you're back, if ctrl-alt-del will be posted anytime soon? Not pressure tho, I'm just curious because I look forward to reading it since it seems really interesting!

Have a nice day❤️

hey babe! i'm doing well, just have been busy with work. because real life distracted me, i would say i have about a quarter of the fic left to write--but it's currently 7k, so i guess that's something to celebrate! 🎉 hopefully i'll have time to crank out the last bit soon. thanks for sticking around and anticipating it 💜