#how did i not draw a single bean pod on there

[mr-jonah]

I really like this one. I made it as part of a weekly art challenge and the theme simply was fairy tales. And I really wanted to avoid drawing actual characters (as I often do), so beans it is.

[mandoalorian]

I know I sent in a request like this week but I saw your post about you being sick so if you want something to do I’ve always had a headcanon that Mando would take his helmet off in front of the kid so what about he’s playing with the kid while you’re supposed to be off the crest but you come back early and see him and he gets all angst but then he’s like I wanted to marry you before anyway this just gives me a reason

Also I really hope you get better soon I hate being sick so if there’s anything I can do to lighten your day let me know!!!

Children with Din Djarin

DAY SIX: Children with Din Djarin [requested by @cobb--vanth but thankyou @100layersofdaddyissues for submitting this specific request weeks ago! I'm sorry it took so long to complete but I figured it was the perfect time to combine both the prompt and the request. I hope this is okay/what you imagined!]

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

Permanent: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos

December Writing Challenge: @mandos-blaster @silent-and-resigned @valentinasubmarina

December Writing Challenge Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Word count: 1.8k

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: mention of recreational drug (spice), pregnancy, mentions of sex but nothing explicit.

The beskar helmet was on the mantle in the hull of the ship when you returned— although you hadn't noticed. You hadn't thought to assume it would be there. You figured it would be on your boyfriend's head. It always was. You had come back from the farmers market about half an hour earlier than expected, with a paper bag filled with sourberries and powdered caf. You placed the paper bag by the door, tapping a few buttons on the Crest's panel and watched it slide shut. You sighed, rolling your shoulders and letting out a tired yawn before padding to the cockpit.

"Grogu," Din called, his unmodulated voice was soft like honey. The helmet had certainly enhanced the gruffness and his rasp, but he didn't sound completely unfamiliar. The little green bean gargled at the calling of his name and Din let out a chuckle. "On three I want you to grab the ball," Din ordered, holding the metal ball between his gloved finger tips. "One… two…." the metal ball shot out of his hand and into Grogu's tiny green claws. "Dank Farrik!" Din gasped, slapping his knee. "Great job kid, but I said on the count of three. It's all about timing, remember-"

The cockpit door slid open and you entered with a sigh. You hadn't told Din why you were really so desperate to visit the farmer's market. "Can't it wait?" he would ask, to which you replied with a simple shake of the head. He wouldn't fight with you. He wouldn't argue with you. If you wanted to visit the market then that would be your next stop. "Maybe spice will help your nausea?" Din suggested, but if your intuition was correct, there'd be no way you'd be taking recreational spice anytime soon. You had told Din you'd just look for some more bacta. It's not what you needed, but it was a good excuse since he was running low on it last time you checked the medbox.

"The market didn't have any bacta pods; we'll have to stop some place on the way to-" you froze, your voice coming to a halt when you saw him. The Mandalorian.

The Mandalorian you had fallen in love with. You met him around eight months ago during one of his bounties on Corellia. He picked you up, assigned you as 'crew' on his ship and not only did he save your life— he changed your life. He gave you hope and meaning and purpose. Your feelings weren't one sided.

Din was enamoured with you. It started with the way you were with the child, so gentle and caring. It was the way you tended to his injuries when he came back after a bounty. "Sweet girl," he'd mutter, his mind in a euphoric haze from all the bacta as you bandaged him up. "So soft. So pretty."

You pushed away the comments. Focusing on them would do you no good. You knew enough about his creed to know that any romantic interaction between you would render pointless. Besides, he was a bounty hunter. He was too busy. He wouldn't want to settle down. Or so you thought.

He was going to ask. He had to ask. Your relationship with Din had got physical in the last few months. It started with gentle touches, the slight grazing of bare skin. When he held you, you felt safe—protected—untouchable. In his strong arms, it was like nobody could get you. Nobody would tear you away. Din would often find ways to satisfy himself, or at least visit a brothel in the depths of the inner-rim that would keep him going for a few days tops.

He swore with you it could just be a one time thing. With Din, that's all sex was meant to be. One time. No strings attached. Easy. But it wasn't. Din could shut out his feelings as much as he wanted but in that moment when the lights went out and he removed his helmet, placing gentle kisses in between your thighs and towards your core, there was no denying the emotion and the chemistry.

So it wasn't just a one time thing. It became a regular occurrence. And you loved it as much as he did. But now, look where you were.

He had brown locks of hair, dark brown and wavy, curling at the nape of his neck. The curve in his nose looked as though it had been crafted by the Maker himself, it was so perfect. His skin was tan, and the golden bronze rendered you somewhat speechless as you wondered where he had found the time to remove his helmet and catch a little sun. It must've been natural. He was beautiful. You recognised his stubble. When you saw it, you could place it with the memory of feeling it when he nestled between your legs. You pursed your lips into a fine line at the memory.

Din was frozen too. He didn't even blink, instead, staring at the child as if Grogu would give him the answer he so desperately required. This was it. No living thing (besides Grogu), had seen Din without his helmet since he had sworn to the creed when he was just a young boy. He wanted you to see him— he really did. So much so he had considered marriage, and the ring crafted from solid beskar felt like the heaviest weight in his pocket right now— as you stood in the door frame with your lips perfectly parted. He was just waiting for the perfect time. But now, all that had been taken away from him and he only had himself to blame.

You whispered his name timidly, tears pricking your eyes. "I'm sorry." you said quietly and waited a few moments for a response. But nothing. Just the sounds of your hitched breathing and the child's confused babbling echoed through the cockpit. You sniffed, walking back into the hull of the ship and picking up his helmet. You closed your eyes out of politeness and handed Din his helmet. He took it from you and placed it on his lap, his finger tracing the curves and edges. He realised you were still standing there with your eyes closed. You were waiting for him to put on his mask so you could open your eyes.

A million thoughts raced in your mind. Was this going to be it? What if he was going to kick you off his ship? Or even worse, would he kill you? Would The Mandalorian have you terminated? No… surely not, you knew your Mando… but the silence in the room was deafening. You were half expecting him to quick draw his blaster and shoot you in the heart, get the job over and done with.

But Din done no such thing. He placed his helmet on the chair next to Grogu and took the beskar ring out of his pocket, polishing it slightly with the leather of his mustard gloves. He threw his gloves aimlessly to one side and dropped down to one knee.

"I've taken my helmet off," he lied through his teeth. You did consider his voice sounded strangely unmodulated, but you didn't think too much of it. After all, surely Din wasn't going to be dishonest about such a thing.

You opened your eyes, gasping when you were greeted with Din down on one knee holding the most beautiful ring up. "Cyare, will you marry me?" he asked.

You were too taken aback by his face than the ring. Beautiful. A glint in his dark eyes, the way his pink lips curled into a positive smile. He was perfect. How could someone as rugged and experienced as the Mandalorian look so damn beautiful under all that beskar?

"Din…" your voice was barely audible as a lonely tear fell down your cheek. "If this is because I saw you without your helmet…"

"No sweet girl," he told you, nervously biting his lip. "I've been carrying this ring around for months just waiting for the right moment. I've wanted this for a long time." he revealed, causing your heart to flutter.

"Are you sure?" you croaked, smiling and finally diverting your eyes to the gorgeous silver ring.

"I've never been so certain about anything in my life," Din replied quickly. "Cyare, please, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"Yes!" you cried, tears falling down your cheeks as he slid the ring onto your finger. You wrapped your arms around The Mandalorian and he held you tight, picking you up and spinning you around.

"I love you so much," He mumbled in your ear, biting down on your love gently as you brought your hands to cup his cheeks. "Is it what you imagined?" he asked, gesturing towards his face as you took in every single detail. Every freckle and scar.

"So much better." you told him, noticing a small pink blush crawl over his cheeks. "Din." your tone was like velvet as it interrupted the adoring silence.

"Mm?" Din mumbled, his hands falling to your waist. You pulled off him slightly so you could look at him in the eyes.

"I don't need bacta for my nausea," you revealed nervously. "And I can't take spice because… well, I think. I'm pregnant."

Din blinked, staring at you. "Wh- pregnant?"

"I was so scared to say anything but I have a gut feeling… I can't describe. It's just like… I know. I can feel it." you told him. Din was speechless.

Grogu shimmied out of the copilot chair and reached up to your stomach, closing his eyes and reaching out. "What's he doing?" Din asked eventually as Grogu hummed a deep breath. You felt it. You closed your eyes and knelt to the child's level so he could place his claw on your lower tummy.

"He feels it too," you whispered. "It's true. I am pregnant." you confirmed and Din's lips curved into an ecstatic smile.

"This is a happy day," Din said, picking up the child and cradling him in one arm while he wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest. "The happiest day of my life."

[gen-z-student-quotes]

Heres a ton of quotes from my high school

Student 1: “I had a leg up on her but you saw how that turned out…” Student 2: “How did you have a leg up?”


S1: “She knew my great grandpa.” S2: “And how old is he?” S1: “He’s dead.” S2: “Oh…” Student: I thought I just took a human life. S1: “I need one that’ll hold all eight of my children.” S2: “I thought you had like twenty?” S1: “…I killed them.” S1: “Click it real fast!” S2: “NO! Thats illegal in the state of the United States!” Science Teacher: It’s time for Duggie to get frisky. Band Director: “Who has the Kubasa?” Student: “Im a kubasa!” BD: “You’re not a sausage.” Science Teacher: “Third rock from the sun.” S1: “Jupiter…right?” S2: “….NO!” Librarian: Maybe its possessed by satan. BD: Tuba or not tuba. Student: Tuesday is the best day of the week for some unknown reason other than the fact that it’s Tuesday. Science Teacher: My head is very foggy today and the drugs haven’t helped. Don’t quote me on that. Student: “How should parents handle a bad report card?”


Spanish Teacher: “Death.” Student: Aaron, move your penis out of the way. I need to get water. Student: Do I really want to go to medical school or am I subconsciously trying to impress my parents? Thats a secret I don’t even know. Im always having a crisis. XOXO, Family Disappointment S1: “Something fun to hit.” S2: “On.” S1: “That was stupidly smooth and I hate you for it.” Student: “Called the Scuds.” Spanish Teacher: “Hah. This gets worse the more you talk.” Student: I got through middle school via sleep deprivation and self deprecation. Student: I’m high bi and ready to die but I’m single and too focused on getting into a good university to mingle so cross cross applesauce do me a favour and just get lost Student: Im here Im queer and i'm full of existential fear. Student: Im single but I’m too afraid of rejection to mingle. Student: Im not a jellyfish… (quietly) I’m a human. Student: I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I am THRIVING! Student: I don’t know why but I have a weird fear of Catholics. Student: This band is the beginning of a porno I swear. X15 Student: Tea is just leaf juice and its gross. Student: Coffee is just bean juice so- S1: “Whats wrong with murder?” S2: “A lot of things Emilee- Theres a lot of thing wrong with murder.” Student: You called me a ginger yesterday. I will give you gingivitis. Student: “How do you do it?” English Teacher: “Most of us are medicated” S1: *barks and growls* S2: Silence you furry. Science Teacher: “Potassium.” Student: “Bananas” Student: Quit! You got fry dust in my eye! Student: See if your Armor of God protects you now. Science Teacher: I hit 190 pounds and I felt like a toad. Science Teacher: “It was really a cool feeling.” Student: “Was that a pun?” Science Teacher: “…Frosty.” S1: “Moment.” S2: “I’ve been singing that wrong my entire life! I thought it was woman!” S1: *Turning around in rolling chair* “Wait- repeat what you just said.” Student: Why did you draw a burning Elmo? Creative Writing Teacher: “The ‘H’ word” Student: “Hell?” CW Teacher: “nO!” S1: “Who said I ruined the peanut butter sandwich? It is now a cockroach peanut butter sandwich.” S2: “Ewww” S1: “Crunchity munchity.” Student: *while walking out of class* See you all in therapy. Student: *while walking back in* Hello guys, its just your neighborhood disappointment. Science Teacher: “Are you talking to your stomach?” Student: “Yeah..” Science Teacher: “Thats weird.” Student: “What are you dressed up as?” Spanish Teacher: “The bitch that I am.” Student: Im gonna name my kids gonorrhea. No, Crabs Brown. Student: Suck my strap on. Student: Its pronounced DIK DIK! Student: I’m gonna drink lead. Student: Mrs. Bustle, do you know what gonorrhea feels like? Science Teacher: Thats the stupid molecule at work again! Vice Principle: No reason to go outside today. Its cold… rainy….. I don’t want you to get sick. You can go outside during the bonfire. Where it will be cold and rainy! Student: I walk around the house with a non-binary flag on my ass. Student: This tea would taste a lot better if I was on a deserted island. Student: Our generation are the ones who ate tide pods. Natural Selection is coming for us. Student: It all started with Harambe. Student: Its my turn on the brain cell!   Math Teacher: I had no expectations but you still disappointed me. Science Teacher: The cool thing about rocks is that you can throw them at your friends. Animal Care Teacher: Remember! Don’t flush the hamsters! Student: The toothbrush water isn’t the same. Band Director: I will tear out your liver! Student: *In spanish* You’re a whorehey. Student: I’m a complement to have in your life. *Seconds later* Can I jump out the window now? Student: *Walks in the room* I think my phone just shit itself. Student; Half of them were in serious relationships- wait, that makes me sound like a hoe. S1: “It was something you used to be obsessed with.” S2: “Oh…..Depression.” S1: “Are these eyeballs?”


S2: “Uhhh duh.” S1: “Why were they in the microwave?” S2: “I was doing an experiment!”


Student: I WILL beat your ass. Student: I’d probably go out and stand in the middle of the hallway, mocking them. Student while pushing themselves across the floor: Slither slither… *louder* Slither slither.. *louder* I’m a snake. Slither slither SSSssssSShksssks Student: I want to turn my finger nails into potato chips. I want to dip them in hot grease and flavor them barbecue. Student: *In a terrible Russian accent.* Close the door! I don’t want my toes to be turned into popsicles! Vice Principle: Today we are having food…I’m not sure what it is but it’s food. S1: “Ok boomer.”


S2: “I’m not a boomer I’m a Leo!” Student: Are you looking at Reindeer privates? Student: The shit you see at 4am in *Insert Town Name* is very interesting.

- I think it's really cool when you guys send us these 🖕

[mobius-prime]

228. Sonic the Hedgehog #160

Birthday Bash! (Part One): Giving and Receiving

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

Welcome to the beginning of Ian Flynn's reign, everyone! As many of you will know, Ian is a fan favorite amongst readers of the comics, and for good reason. Objectively, I'd say he has a much better sense than any previous writer of how to construct dynamic and interesting stories, as well as a great head for writing dialogue. Every character has their own unique voice when speaking, and as someone who takes a particular interest in dialogue in her own writing, it's something I admire a lot, especially given how stilted and unnaturally formal a lot of dialogue by Karl and especially Kenders often sounded, regardless of who was speaking. That said, I think that it took a good year or so for him to fully come into his own as head writer for the series, so some earlier issues are a bit strange and not up to par with a lot of his later work. Some of this, to be fair, is due to him essentially playing clean-up for this first year, untangling a lot of the bizarre leftover plot threads that Karl and Kenders left behind, and generally trying to make the world of the comics conform a little better to that of the games. All that aside, anyone reading the comics will likely notice an immediate and apparent improvement in the overall quality of the work starting with this issue. This is helped along, in addition, by none other than the very talented artist Tracy Yardley! who always (well, almost always) introduces himself in the story credits with an exclamation mark. It's kind of his calling card. Tracy took a while to really improve his art as well, so while his earliest issues sometimes have some strange proportions and poses, later on his style became easily one of the most visually attractive and recognizable ones in the series, simplifying a lot of the inconsistencies that many character designs had as well as doing away with the strange pseudo-human proportions that some artists tended to favor, particularly with the female characters. All this said, I will say that Ian isn't going to be immune to my criticism, as while I do recognize his skill as a writer and the good things he brought to the table, there are definitely some problems I have with the way he handled certain things. We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, however, so for now, let's dive into the new world he's creating and see how he does!

Elias and Sonic are walking on the outskirts of Knothole as Elias explains why his father approved the Metal Sonic troopers from last issue. We don't even really get to hear the explanation, but to be fair, we hardly need one, as the idea was so insane to begin with that the only true explanation is that Kenders needed a plot device. Sonic tries to make Elias promise that "you royals" won't hit him with any more weird surprises, and Elias says they only have one more, leading him to a building next to where the Great Oak Slide into the village ends.

I mean, canonically he's supposed to be turning seventeen here, even though realistically he should be turning eighteen, because remember, for him to have turned sixteen in StH#68, had the Robians be deroboticized in early June in StH#123, and still have managed to spend close to a year in space before turning seventeen, literally everything in between the two aforementioned issues would have had to take place in the span of a few weeks - yes, that's counting the month-and-a-half time span that Sonic was confined to Knothole, as well as major events like Eggman's return and the entire Green Knuckles saga. You can see why this huge discrepancy still bothers me, right? Hmph. Anyway, no sooner has the party begun than an explosion destroys the door, and two new players enter the scene - Bean the Dynamite and Bark the Polar Bear from Sonic the Fighters! Nack's been part of the comic for long enough now, so it's cool to see these two make their first appearance. Bark is totally silent - as far as I remember, he never says a single word during the entirety of the comic - but Bean, in the absence of an obvious personality to draw from in the game, has subsequently been given the personality trait of "criminally insane" in the comics.. He's erratic, he talks to himself, he cracks jokes where jokes really shouldn't be cracked, and most importantly of all, he loves his goddamn bombs. Bean starts chucking said bombs left and right at the various Freedom Fighters in the base, while Sonic tangles with Bark. He seems to think these guys are only after him due to something Evil Sonic did in his place, something which he has by now apparently finally explained to all the women of Knothole, and manages to break away from Bark to stop Bean's bombing spree by pinning him to a wall and asking about Evil Sonic. However, Bean happily insists there's been no mistake and he wasn't even aware of Sonic having an evil twin, nor does he particularly care. Oh, speaking of Evil Sonic…

Huh, it seems that Evil Sonic has actually explained his true identity to Rouge in between their previous failed attempt and now. I'm surprised she hasn't outright abandoned him by now due to Rouge not exactly being evil-aligned to begin with, but I guess the pull of the shiny is just too strong for her to resist. And as it turns out, Bean suffers from a similar insatiable need! Fiona pulls out a ring of keys and shakes them around, completely distracting Bean from his current activity of bashing Sonic's head in, and throws them out the hole he made in the wall, prompting him to immediately abandon everything to chase after them. Fiona then advances on Bark, who by now has gotten himself cornered by every Freedom Fighter in the room, and convinces him to stand down as he's outnumbered. Outside, Bean plays with the keys and talks to them, seemingly convinced that they're a beautiful woman with an "adorable accent" who wants his number, when a suspiciously-Shadow-shaped shadow converges on him, prompting him to try to invite him into smashing Sonic as well. Good luck there, buddy, I don't think Shadow usually runs with crazy…

Geez, Sally, cut Fiona some slack. Not everyone had a squeaky-clean record - hell, just look at Shadow! Back in the Chaos Chamber, Rouge and Evil Sonic begin to battle Locke, who tosses Evil Sonic to the side as he perceives Rouge to be the bigger threat. However, that turns out to be a bit of a bad idea, as with Rouge tied up in the fight, Evil Sonic takes his chance to go after the Master Emerald without her, obviously recognizing it as more than just a shiny trinket.

Back in Knothole, Shadow explains that he's only here to thank Sonic for saving Hope, as he knows he wouldn't have been able to do it on his own, and reminds him that as soon as he leaves this building they're back to being enemies, as Shadow's still aligned with Eggman for now. Sonic, to his credit, seems to recognize that Shadow is only allied with Eggman because he doesn't yet know better, and cheerfully invites him to come back here whenever he cuts out on that deal in the future. It's at this point that everyone realizes Bean has quietly snuck into the brain trust's comms room to casually let Eggman know that he and Bark failed to take Sonic down, and when Fiona ushers him back out of the room, Eggman is only too happy to let Sonic know personally that he wishes him a happy birthday and he's sending him a new, more metallic present. Within seconds a thud outside alerts them to the arrival of this present, and everyone rushes out to see a strange figure emerging from an egg pod - a figure which resolves itself into the combined forms of Crocbot and Octobot, now merged into the singular entity of… Croctobot! (Don't worry, Ian knows just how silly this is and even acknowledges it next issue.) But what of Evil Sonic and Rouge? How is their fight faring against Locke after the former got knocked aside? Well, Evil Sonic takes his chance to dramatically emerge from behind the emerald as the other two get ready to continue their fight…

Plot twist! How many people actually didn't know by now that Evil Sonic and Scourge were the same person? I'm guessing there had to be at least a few of you. You can actually already see Ian's new plans being put into action - it's very telling of his intentions when the very first issue he ever pens immediately makes a point of distinguishing a rather tired and boring character into a new and improved version of himself, with a unique name and new, visually distinct look. Apparently Kenders, who if you recall is the original creator of Evil Sonic, never liked this and continued to insist on referring to him as Evil Sonic, but screw that, Scourge is a much more interesting character and this was a change that sorely needed to be made.

Sonic Rush (Part One of Two)

Writer/Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Ben Hunzeker

So unfortunately, Sonic Adventure 2 isn't the only case in the preboot of a partial adaption of a game being included without any actual ending. Sonic Rush, the game, introduces Blaze, a cat from an alternate dimension that is controlled by the Sol Emeralds rather than the Chaos Emeralds, and most of the plot revolves around the Sol Emeralds ending up in Sonic's dimension and her trying to recollect them to bring back to her own world. However, things are a bit different in the comics universe. In this story, Blaze comes to Sonic's dimension because, apparently, she's been having nonstop dreams about him, dreams which show her visions of Eggman threatening the Sol Emeralds and Sonic helping her protect them. She's frustrated that she would have to rely on anyone else to help her protect the emeralds at all, believing them to be her sole responsibility, but nonetheless she's tracked Sonic to Knothole. However, while deliberating her next move, a squad of swatbots - yes, ordinary ones, it's been a while since we've seen them rather than shadow-bots - happen upon her and decide that they should take her in for interrogation.

Yeah, I guess Blaze doesn't understand the dangers present in this universe yet, does she? An hour or so later, Rotor sends for Sonic, informing him that they caught the aftermath of Blaze's capture on their video surveillance. Neither of them know who she is, but they decide she can't be from their village, since she left several disabled swatbots behind, while most people in Knothole are noncombatants and those that aren't are accounted for elsewhere. Sonic rushes out to find their trail and tracks them to a nearby facility set up amidst the trees, and while he begins fighting his way in, the scientific robots in the building go about studying their new specimen.

Sorry, but why the hell would Eggman be looking to add some random Mobian to his team? He only likes robots anyway, and tends to either betray or enslave every living being that comes to him. Blaze suddenly awakens and becomes furious - not that she's been captured, mind you, but that they took off her coat while studying her. She must be really goddamn attached to her coat, because she starts absolutely trashing the place, exploding into flames and screaming so loudly that Sonic becomes genuinely worried about her wellbeing, rushing to where he last heard her. The door of the lab she's in is completely blasted off its hinges by the force of Blaze's explosions, but thankfully after this she seems to have found her coat, because the blasts subside and she appears in the doorway wearing it once again, staring down at an utterly shocked Sonic with a look of fiery fury (the literal flames coating her entire body probably help with the "fiery" bit). Uh… good luck dealing with that, buddy boy!

[zdbztumble]

Build A Better Buu Saga

Oh, the Buu Saga...from initially getting passed over in Kai to almost getting passed over by TeamFourStar, it’s almost as if the collective understanding of all corners of the Dragon Ball community is that this is a saga that just...didn’t. It didn’t give a proper cap to the overall series, it didn’t stick the landing even on its own terms, it didn’t have the best fights or villains or character moments...it just didn’t.

For myself, the Buu Saga actually has my favorite beginning of any storyline in Dragon Ball. Gohan being my favorite character in the series, I was happy to see him take up the mantle of Series Lead (a fact that the manga pointed out in asides multiple times), and the huge shake-up in the status quo made for some exciting possibilities. Videl and Goten were wonderful additions to the cast, the current timeline’s Trunks was quite the contrast with his future self, I think the Great Saiyaman was amusing, and the lead-up to the World Tournament is some of the best material out of the entire series. The middle section of the saga, while uneven, is a fun and wild ride too, with Majin Buu being a very distinct villain from his immediate predecessors and concepts like the fusion dance giving a jolt of new energy (no pun intended) to battles. Gohan’s development as he tries to regain the power he’s lost since the Cell Games during this part of the story doesn’t get enough credit either.

Yep - the Buu Saga, in my books anyway, is a solid arc full of fantastic characters and moments...in its first two thirds. The moment Super Buu becomes Buutenks, the story rapidly deteriorates, as Akira Toriyama decides to arbitrarily reject or ignore every bit of set-up and development he’d laid down up to that point and goes on auto-pilot, ending the conflict with tired retreads of old ideas while using characters whose story this has not been. It’s not even that anything in the ending of the saga is all that bad; it’s just such an about-face, such a divorce from everything in the story up to that point - material that I really liked - that it feels more disappointing (to me, anyway) than if it had been more poorly produced.

I’m not the first, or the last, to think about how the Buu Saga might have had a stronger ending, and more coherence overall. Over on the Kanzenshuu forums a few years ago, I even wrote up some my thoughts on what I would’ve liked to see. Thanks to TeamFourStar’s release of their “Day of Fate” remix, though, I’ve been thinking about this more lately, and my ideas have changed quite a bit from the last time I wrote them down. With that, I figured I’d lay out my outline for an alternate Buu Saga, one that I think would’ve given the series a stronger cap and paid off its initial set-up.

Before we get started, I’ll make three caveats plain:

- Goku isn’t here. This isn’t out of any dislike of the character. I'm actually quite happy with Goku serving as a supporting figure, and a mentor to Goten and Trunks, in the middle third of the Buu Saga. But I think it’s ultimately detrimental to a story that purportedly follows the successor protagonist to have the original hero pop up as early, and for as long, as Goku ultimately was in the saga as-is. To see what Gohan and the others would make of a world totally devoid of Goku is a more interesting idea to me anyway.

- No Old Kai. He may be fun, he may have unique abilities, but Old Kai and his powers offer too many cop-outs. Which is not to say that there isn’t a place for a mentor figure like Old Kai in the saga, but...well, keep reading.

- I don’t care about post-manga interviews. Yes, I am aware that Toriyama retconned Buu’s origin, among other things, in interviews he gave after finishing the manga. I am ignoring these, and I’m ignoring anything from Super. What was in the manga, and the anime, back in the 90s is all the material I’m drawing from.

- You know the story, right? For brevity’s sake, I’m just going to point out where I would’ve made changes, not writing up the full series of events. I assume anyone crazy enough to read this knows at least the gist of the Buu Saga anyway.

All that said - here we go:

There isn’t much I’d change about the very beginning of the Buu saga. Gohan’s high school days and Great Saiyaman antics are both a great change of pace from the heavier material preceding them. If I were to change anything, it would be to have the manga expand on this section slightly - no more than the anime did, but just that little bit extra to mine the concept for all it’s worth.

Assuming that expansion happens, then the impression can be given that a significant number of months pass - let’s say an academic year. Thus, when Videl learns the truth about the Great Saiyaman and blackmails Gohan into competing in the World Tournament, they’re right at the start of summer vacation, with the tournament set to begin at the end of summer. This provides three months of training, not one.

Removing Goku from the story doesn’t require as big an adjustment to Vegeta’s character as you’d think on first glance. Remember that in the saga as-is, Bulma tells Gohan early on that Vegeta wants to make Trunks stronger than him, Vegeta chides Gohan for not training during peacetime, and when news of the tournament reaches him, Vegeta’s keen to enter to fight Gohan, before he knows that Goku’s coming back. Just push all this a little further, and you get a Vegeta who’s transferred his great rivalry with “Kakarot” onto Gohan - whose lack of interest in combat for its own sake or in feeding that rivalry really gets under Vegeta’s skin. The tournament, in Vegeta’s mind, is his first chance in seven years to compel Gohan to duke it out.

The extra months for training gives real opportunity for Videl. In the series as-is, her ability to learn to fly in a day is considered remarkable, and she expresses an interest in learning more about ki. With more time, she actually could. It’s straining credulity to expect her to be at Krillin or Tenshinhan levels by the time of the Tournament, but she could at least pick up the Kamehameha. As I would like her to stay action-relevant once the real conflict emerges, however, I’d go ahead and give her some unique ability too, to off-set her limited raw power. Perhaps something akin to re-directing lightning in Avatar - she could figure out how to channel and re-direct ki attacks aimed at her. I don’t think that’s too ridiculous - again, the series as-is has her figure out the basics of ki control and flight in a single afternoon, so using that as a springboard for her demonstrating unusual ki manipulation is a fair expansion on that IMO.

Videl’s curiosity about ki (and the cute dork she’s learning from) could also lead to her learning about the dragon balls during her training. This could amount to a brief, lighthearted ball hunt that doubles as as a more active training regimen, with Goten and Trunks coming along as well. It would be the four members of the new generation off on a fun-filled adventure, like the opening of this saga seemed to promise. Gohan and Videl’s bond is strengthened, Goten and Trunks’s friendship is shown off, and the dragon balls are conveniently collected and ready for use later on. And this would also be the way that news of the World Tournament spreads to the other Z Fighters - assume that each of them holds onto one of the dragon balls as a safety measure. A tad more time could be spent at Kame House and the Lookout, and through the eyes of Videl - the new human character and a great candidate for a reader/audience stand-in - we could be introduced to the new status quo for all the old cast in a (slightly) expanded way.

The World Tournament would play out largely the same, with the odd minor to adjustments due to Goku’s absence. The senzu beans would get delivered via Mr. Popo and his carpet, for example. Probably the most significant change I would’ve made would be to have Gohan’s anger at Videl’s pain cause a flash of power that, while brief, tells Vegeta that Gohan’s potential remains as boundless as ever even despite his lack of training, feeding into Vegeta’s frustrations with Gohan.

Without Goku, Yakon would be cut from the line-up of Babidi’s warriors; we’d go from Pui Pui to Dabura. Vegeta’s anger at Gohan’s sloppiness would remain, though he’d be shouting at Gohan directly, instead of at Goku about Gohan. In this case, Vegeta gives in to Babidi not to acquire sufficient power to defeat Goku in a limited time frame, but because all the preparation for the World Tournament, Gohan’s “unworthiness” as a surrogate rival for his father, and disgust that someone uninterested in fighting has the potential that Gohan has, all fuel Vegeta’s midlife crisis about finding himself settled on Earth. Basically, the ticking clock of Goku’s 24 hours is replaced with a slow burn of identity conflict and irritation.

Of course, this means that instead of a Goku/Vegeta rematch, we’d have Gohan vs. Vegeta. I would leave the immediate set-up for it largely untouched in the broadstroke, but of course the details would matter. I can’t imagine Gohan feeling so determined to fight that he’d be prepared to blow Supreme Kai’s face off, for example. I would have him ask to be brought back into the ship, to give Supreme Kai a better chance at getting at Buu’s pod. It would also give a backdrop for the fight other than Generic Wasteland #47. The fight itself would naturally have a different character. I imagine Vegeta being more unstable and manic while Gohan remains evasive, trying at all times to minimize the energy released. As in the series as-is, Vegeta’s words spur Gohan to realize the price to be paid for not staying prepared for danger in the seven years since the Cell Games, but in this case, Gohan’s evasiveness keeps shooting Vegeta’s anger and irrationality higher and higher, and it’s through this process that his motives come out. At a moment when Gohan’s pleas to look at the big picture fall on deaf ears, Vegeta calls Gohan “Kakarot.” Hearing that name, and fully appreciating how much Vegeta has projected his old rivalry, Gohan snaps for a second, gets the drop on Vegeta, knocks him out, and heads deeper into the ship to help Supreme Kai.

From there, things would largely play out as they do as-is, with minor adjustments. Vegeta would come to inside the ship, get a sense of what’s going on up above through ki detection, and have a quiet moment of realization of what he’s done before he heads up to try and make amends. And when he sacrifices himself...that’s it. That is the end of Vegeta’s character. This is a point I feel strongly about, because nothing that’s been done with Vegeta since justifies undercutting his sacrifice here IMO. To fully appreciate what he’s done, to recognize the one tactic he has left to try and set things to rights, and to be aware (thanks to Piccolo) just how total the price to be paid will be, and still go through with it for the sake of his loved ones, is as fitting an end to Vegeta’s character as I can think of.

Instead of Bulma summoning Shenron, she collects the balls from Chi Chi’s house with the intent of summoning Shenron, until someone in that group - possibly Yamcha, possibly Videl, possibly even Master Roshi - perceive that they might be needed for an even greater emergency, and the decision is made to retreat to the Lookout to try and get news of what’s been going on. They bring the balls with them, sparing the need for the radar incident later on. Piccolo and Krillin are tasked with filling everyone in.

Without Goku, how is the Fusion Dance brought up? Well, Namekians practice a form of fusion (more like assimilation), and Piccolo has (in the anime, at least) demonstrated knowledge of Multi-Form; what if it’s a technique he and Dende have devised in the seven years since the Cell Games, making use of natural Namekian abilities and Earthling ki manipulation techniques? “But wait!” you say. “What about Piccolo’s embarrassed reaction to the dance in the series as-is?” Simple - don’t have him be embarrassed. I never found that “gag” to be all that funny anyway - it’s not like the dance looks that ridiculous. To whet Buu’s appetite for the fight the way Goku did, Piccolo could just communicate the promise of a fighter telepathically.

So, we still have the Z Sword, but no Old Kai. What to do about Gohan’s power then? Well - what if the Z Sword was sentient? Similar to the Byakko from Dairanger, it can talk once drawn. I imagine it having a cantankerous and impatient personality, but in addition to being heavy enough to serve as a training tool, it can also bond and manipulate Gohan’s ki, letting it serve as a power-up device and a mentor. Part of that mentorship involves helping Gohan through his hang-up at not keeping his strength from the Cell Games. As Old Kai does as-is, the Z Sword could feel that the strain of transformations isn’t worth the power boost, and could also conclude that relying on saiyan rage and battle lust isn’t the best course for Gohan. So as they train, the Z Sword works to rearrange Gohan’s ki to bring all his power into his base form - so yes, there still is an Ultimate/Mystic power-up.

The Z Sword could also suggest a strategy for defeating Buu, and here’s where it becomes necessary to ignore Toriyama’s later statements. To go just off of the original manga, Bibidi created Buu. So if Buu is a magical creation, a force of chaotic evil energy - roll with that. Don’t treat him as a flesh and blood creature who can be killed. Treat him as negative ki manifested, that can be manipulated and dispersed. Videl’s ability helps Gohan grasp the concept, but it’s the Z Sword that will be key to him being able to pull the same manipulation on Buu.

The process of Gohan’s training would involve taking a look inside his own head. Imagine scenes where, while Gohan’s body performs fencing maneuvers, his inner self communes with the Z Sword and reviews and experiences these concepts in visually interesting ways. Besides being more dynamic than sitting on the ground while an old man holds his hands out, this could also sell the idea that this process would take a while.

Things on Earth would play out largely the same once Goten and Trunks are taught the dance. My one change would be to have Videl unaccounted for along with Dende during Buu’s candy attack.

Nothing against Goku, but when Gohan returns to Earth, I’d have him keep the Kai get-up; I really like that costume on him. Gohan’s demeanor would be more cold and silent in fighting Buu than brash, and instead of just treating Buu like a punching bag, he’s focused on catching Buu’s attacks with the Z Sword and turning the blade on Buu. When he does this, the wounds don’t regenerate. Buu finds this horrifying, and it’s this realization that triggers his self-destruct feint.

Videl’s with Dende. They got away together. Why? I’ll tell you why: I like Videl. But there is actually a reason, that we’ll get to in a second.

Buu absorbing Gotenks and Piccolo is less to do with getting stronger than Gohan (though there is that); it’s on the calculation that, if Buu absorbs people that Gohan loves into his being, then Gohan can’t channel ki to disperse Buu. Remember, that isn’t the same as being killed, so who’s to say the dragon balls could revive them? Gohan essentially has no choice but to get into a conventional fight with Buu - a much more even fight, but one he knows is ultimately fruitless. To make things worse, the grouchy, insensitive Z Sword keeps insisting that they finish Buutenks off anyway, and Buutenks keeps targeting Dende and Videl. That’s partly a distraction tactic, but he’s also looking to neutralize the dragon balls. Dende is protected in part by Gohan’s efforts, and in part by Videl’s redirection abilities. This would also open up comic moments, with Mr. Satan gaping in shock at his daughter’s skills. But a hard limit on those abilities becomes quickly apparent, when dealing with that much raw power at her level starts to destroy her body. Eventually, it proves too much, and saving Dende causes Videl to pass out - and in the second that Gohan is distracted by that, Buutenks seizes the Z Sword and breaks it.

The heroes look screwed now, but when the fusion runs out, Buu starts to react strangely, as if he’s getting beat up from the inside. Cut to inside of his body and, sure enough, the fusion running out has caused Goten and Trunks to be freed from Buu’s control. They wreak havoc inside of Buu in an attempt to find away out, and end up finding Piccolo and Fat Buu. Severing Fat Buu sets off the chain reaction leading to Kid Buu, and the kids make it out with Piccolo just in time.

Kibito teleporting in is how the heroes get off of Earth once Kid Buu decides to blow it up. And he actually saves everyone. Without Goku there, that bit of faux drama and guilt is even less justifiable, so don’t bother with it. The entire planet being lost is enough of a gut-punch to the heroes as it is.

As Kid Buu rampages through the universe, Kibito restores Videl and Piccolo. As bleak as things look, a conversation happens that triggers memories of Namek, and Gohan and Piccolo quickly devise a plan. They ask Kibito to bring King Kai to the Sacred World of the Kais, to facilitate communication, then send him to Namek. Those dragon balls (which cannot suddenly revive as many people as you want and still grant three wishes) are gathered. Gohan wants Porunga to restore the Z Sword, but that is a feat beyond the dragon’s power. Instead, he restores the Earth (and other destroyed planets) and, with the second wish, assembles Earth’s dragon balls at the Lookout. Kibito returns to the heavenly realm, takes Dende back to the Lookout, and Shenron is used to revive everyone (who Shenron can still revive) killed by Buu. Shenron also can’t mend the Z Sword, but Gohan and Piccolo expect that Babidi was revived with the first wish. They have Kibito track Babidi down and bring him to them. Both dragons are kept on stand-by.

Gohan wants Babidi to cast a spell to get rid of Kid Buu - not seal him up again, but to decreate him entirely. Unfortunately, Babidi doesn’t know any such spells - if they ever existed, they went to the grave with his father Bibidi (again - forget the later interview retcons. All we’re told originally is that Babidi was Bibidi’s son.) What Babidi can do, however, is reforge the Z Sword with his magic. Not unlike Buu’s awakening, it’s a spell that requires a tremendous amount of energy be released, and meanwhile, Kid Buu is laying waste to worlds. To gather the energy, and to keep Kid Buu from destroying anything else, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks all power up to lure him to the World of the Kais. While Piccolo stands guard over Babidi and the others watch, Gohan and Gotenks keep Kid Buu occupied. The effort doesn’t go as smoothly as Gohan and Piccolo had hoped - partly because Kid Buu is so violent and unpredictable, and partly because Gotenks gets carried away yet again, resulting in far more damage to the planet than necessary.

At a certain point, Videl has to re-direct a blast, and Mr. Satan yells at Kid Buu for endangering his daughter. Kid Buu targets them both, but can’t bring himself to attack, and expels Fat Buu. Just in time, too - Gotenks’ carelessness gets Gohan seriously injured, and the fusion wears off. Goten (and, after some hesitation, Trunks) continue to fight on with Fat Buu while Dende tries to heal Gohan. Babidi, meanwhile, has one last bit of treachery up his sleeve. He tries to take control of Gohan in a moment of anger. A lot happens all at once - a fierce blow by Kid Buu that puts Fat Buu down for the count, Gohan reacts to Babidi’s efforts, Piccolo slays Babidi - and the Z Sword re-forges. Kid Buu, recognizing the re-forged blade, panics, but Goten and Trunks keep him distracted, and Gohan is able to disperse Buu’s energy, finally ridding the universe of him for good.

Everyone returns to the Lookout, where unfinished business remains. Vegeta, Krillin, Roshi, and Chaotzu (and technically, all the people who were killed by Cell) are still dead, and for Krillin and Chaotzu, there's bad news: no dragon can ever grant the same wish twice, so even with Porunga around, they're still dead. Roshi sends word through Baba that he's ready to move on; Vegeta’s spirit has already met its final judgment. So, with the last Shenron wish, the memory of Buu is taken from the world; with the last Porunga wish, someone gets something stupid (Goten gets an ice cream sundae? Something comedic.)

Gohan has a conversation with Piccolo that basically summarizes his journey through the arc: that even if he doesn’t like fighting for its own sake, power like his carries a responsibility, and he has to be prepared for future threats. Fast forward to the same year that DBZ ends, only instead of another Tournament, there's a reunion at Capsle Corp. Some new threat comes, and the new lineup of Z fighters, led by Gohan, go into action. End of show/comic.

[the-coconut-asado]

Crazy for Kiwi Crickets

When it comes to eating out in Fiji, you are only as good as your last success.

 Consistently get it right and the punters will flock. Anything less than excellent and it’s ‘Maaan that place has gone downhill – but the duck soup at Harbour Centre is the Bomb!’ You can’t actually get duck soup at Harbour Centre, but anything with duck in Suva is a sure-fire winner as they are in constant short supply.

 Fiji is always in pursuit of the New Big Thing. That duck soup place I mentioned was actually the New Big Thing once, so was The Guava Café (doorstep griddled toast and Land of the Giant-sized portions); Singh’s burn-your-ring curry house and the Chinese restaurant at Samabula where you got a decent takeaway and a ringside seat at a sailors’ punch up.

 There are some classics that never go out of fashion. The cream buns at Hot Bread Kitchen – the ‘cream’ is actually buttercream and they sell them in sets of six like monkey bread so yeah, good luck with just eating one; Cardo’s Steakhouse in Denarau – they claim their cattle are descendants of Argentine castaways from the 19th century (kind of yarn that could spark a punch up in that Samabula Chinese restaurant, but the steaks ARE consistently good); Friday seafood lunch at Suva Bowling Club (you may not recognise half the seafood on your plate, and that’s a good thing); And, sadly closed now, The Cottage – tucked behind the main drag in Suva, serving the best local Fiji food and only open at lunchtime. And didn’t we all wail when the owner retired and shut up shop after decades of top-quality chow.

Anyway, it’s quite something when the New Big Thing is your sister-in-law’s café. Weta (Coffee) Fiji, the fifth child of Mue and her husband Darran, opened its doors in March this year. 

The café gets its name from a gerbil-sized cricket native to New Zealand. A quick google search and you can watch a film of a weta fighting a foraging pig, so maybe not exotic pet material. 

While the lion’s share of daily sales will always be the coffee (and we returned with bags of beans to London, it’s that good), it’s the food at Weta that’s getting the lion’s share of hype. World Health Organisation apparatchiks would probably advise not have more than one Honey Butter Waffle a month, yet people are spectacularly carb-loading these Weta signature goodies daily on their way to work. Take a look at the picture below and you could so easily join them.

Aside from the waffle-fest, Mue and cousin Cherie (whose aunt founded that other Fiji café classic Bulaccino) have entered into a kind of foodie face-off with each other, competing to see who can come up with the most mouth-watering innovations. The Honey Butter Waffles already give 1-0 to Mue; but ever thought of combining crispy nuggets of bacon with a rich mayonnaise, slathering it on a chicken schnitzel and sandwiching it all in a toasted mini baguette? Then check out their Chicken Baconnaise Panini and Cherie evens the score. How about a teal-green smoothie that tastes fruity and delicious but you don’t know why? Place your order for their Ugly Green Juice  - a joint invention so let’s call it a draw. I assiduously worked my way through most of their menu over two weeks and couldn’t find much that was less than evil genius.

Because this is a family concern, and Mue does a lot of her experimenting in her own kitchen, I got caught up in the whole entrepreneurial swirl when we were there this summer. Watching while Mue, with apparent carelessness cloaking a keen cook’s eye, tossed ingredients for her Marsala Chai muffins into the food processor at 5 in the morning while simultaneously whipping up a vegan version of her waffle mix. Slavishly watching her EPOS app to see if the sales dial had moved to kerching! levels – in short, generally starting to catch the fever of the hospitality business owner. Is Suva ready for Kava Hot Chocolate? (Kava is the ceremonial drink of Fiji with delicate overtones of mud). Apparently yes, and at least 10 people on the first day of sales had a dreamless sleep that night. Another invention marked up to Mue and another profit stream.

Having eaten our body weight in tropical breakfast patisserie, we left Suva for a few days to head to our own New Big Thing on Fiji’s Other Big Island.   

Savusavu is a picturesque town with a bay big enough to host a fistful of yachts and a marina to moor them. Even though it’s popular, the road to Savusavu – which nestled on the South coast of Vanua Levu - is one less travelled compared to the resort islands of Western Viti Levu. It has a reputation as a millionaire’s playground and we were told ‘be careful, you won’t want to come back’ (do people wrongly assume that we are at home in the company of dicks with yachts?). Anyway, they weren’t wrong about the beauty of the place, and I can now tell them a few tales about some unexpected food epiphanies.

The first was thanks to Sarah, the owner of the Gecko Guesthouse. It said in our Airbnb blurb that she would throw in a cooking lesson if we asked nicely. Which we did, and she obliged, if a little reluctantly at first. We spent one chilled-out evening learning her techniques for snake bean and bitter gourd curries (be sparing rather than slavish with your spices), a-ma-zing fish madras (although we can’t get fresh walu in the West, swordfish would be a decent substitute) and clever hack for cooking rice (err, use an electric rice maker).

However, the piece de resistance of Savusavu is a ‘dive’ (my friend Ije’s word when he saw the Insta post) called Arun’s Hidden Taste of Paradise. 

The name felt a bit at odds with its appearance, which is a little grubby and dishevelled, but don’t be fooled. The clue is in the word ‘hidden’ because if you make it through their mesh-covered door you will taste cassava chips which are meltingly creamy on the inside and quadruple-cooked crispy on the outside and, hands down, the best butter chicken I have eaten in my life. The eponymous Arun, both owner and cook, seemed frankly scared when I asked for a photo, so I didn’t push on asking for the recipe – but kept the flavour profile running around in my head for the rest of the trip.

Obsessed as I was, I hunted down ingredients lists for butter chicken on my bookshelves and I think I have found a pretty good match in Vivek Singh, who based his Cinnamon Club classic on a 1950’s recipe from the Moti Mahal in Old Delhi. But then I saw a recipe for a curry pie in last month’s Delicious Magazine and had the brainwave to make this pie with the butter chicken. And while you might have to make the trip to Suva to get Mue’s original and best Honey Butter Waffles TM, I have slightly adapted her Chai Latte and Choc Chip Muffins  and Ugly Green juice here.

So raise your Ugly-Green juice-filled glass to New Big Things. And watch out for the next one - the launch of Mue and Darran’s Writers Lodge guesthouse with Kava Bar and Weta Café later this Autumn.

You can follow them on @wetafiji. 

 Butter Chicken Pie

You can just make this butter chicken straight with pilau rice and all the trimmings, but turning it into a pie takes it to the next level. This pastry is super short and crispy, thanks to a mix of butter and lard. Don’t be put off by the long list of ingredients or the processes. It’s dead easy over a lazy Sunday and the flavours are so worth it. Serves 4.

 Ingredients:

For the butter chicken:

800g boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into bite-sized pieces

One red chilli and some coriander leaves

1 large red pepper, seeded and cut into strips

For the marinade: 

120g Greek yoghurt

5 garlic cloves, grated or crushed

1 inch piece  of ginger, peeled and grated

1 tbsp sunflower oil

Juice of 1 large lemon

Kosher salt and pepper to taste

3 tsp chilli powder

1 tsp ground cumin

½ tsp garam masala

½ tsp turmeric

For the sauce:

8-10 tomatoes

1 in piece of ginger, half grated and half chopped finely

4 garlic cloves, grated or crushed

4 green cardamom pods, 2 cloves, 1 bay leaf

2 tsp chilli powder

80g salted butter, diced

2 green chillies, split lengthwise but still joined at the stem

80ml single cream

A few dried fenugreek leaves

1tsp garam masala

1 tbsp. sugar

For the spiced butter:

1 Tbsp. ghee

1 tsp black mustard seeds

1 tsp. crushed chillies

For the pastry:

230g plain flour

1 tsp kosher salt

65g salted butter, and 50g lard, both chilled and cubed

4tsp. soured cream

1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar( or use white wine vinegar as a substitute)

4 tsp. water

1 egg., beaten

3 tbsp. lime pickle (I like Pataks)

2 tbsp. sugar

How to make:

First marinate the chicken. Mix all marinade ingredients, stir in the chicken, cover and pop in the fridge for at least 2 hours, or preferably overnight.

 Heat the oven to 220C/ Gas 9. Spread the chicken pieces out in one layer on a large baking tray, leaving a margin on the side to say out the strips of red pepper, tossed in a tsp. olive oil. Cook for 15-20 mins, turning the pieces halfway through so that they cook evenly. Remove from the oven and set aside while you make the sauce.

 Slice the tomatoes in half and put in a large saute pan with 125 ml water, grated ginger, garlic, cardamom, cloves and bay leaf. Simmer, covered for about 25 mins until the tomatoes are mushy (the aroma from this simmer will already be driving you wild with desire). Remove the whole spices, add the chilli powder and simmer for a further 10 mins (Vivek likes to push the tomatoes through a sieve and just use the resultant puree, but I prefer my sauce to be a bit more rugged, a little less refined).

 Add the chicken pieces and the red pepper slices and all their juices and give it a good stir. Slowly stir in the butter, a couple of cubes at a time, and simmer for about 8 minutes until the chicken is cooked through. Add the chopped ginger, chillies and cream and simmer for a minute or two longer. Stir in 1 tsp.kosher salt, crumble in the fenugreek leaves and the garam masala. Adjust the seasoning if necessary then add the sugar.

 In a separate small pan, warm up all the ingredients for the spiced butter until the seeds start to pop. At this stage you can serve the Butter Chicken with the spiced butter spooned over the top, but if progressing with the pie (which I urge you to do) , then set both the chicken and the spiced butter to one side.

Now make the pastry (you can also make this ahead and chill, just bring back to room temperature before rolling out). Combine the flour , salt and a generous grind of black pepper in a food processor. Add the butter and lard and blitz until it has the texture of fine breadcrumbs. In a separate bowl, mix the soured cream, vinegar and water then add to the flour and butter mix and just blitz until the mixture starts to come together (don’t overwork it). Turn out onto a floured surface and bring together into a smooth ball. Wrap in cling film then chill for at least 30 mins.

Heat the oven to 200C/ Gas 6. Brush the rim of your pie dish with the beaten egg, then fill the dish with the butter chicken and drizzle the spiced butter all over the surface. Roll out the pastry in a circle big enough to cover the pie dish, then lay over the top of the dish, crimping the edges to seal and trim off any surplus pastry to neaten the edges. Cut a small cross in the middle to let the steam out during cooking and make some pastry leaves with any pastry offcuts.

Brush all over with the rest of the egg glaze then pop in the fridge for 10 minutes.During that 10 minutes, make the lime pickle glaze by mixing the pickle with 2 tbsp. boiling water and the sugar. Set aside.

Bake the pie for 40 mins then brush all over with the lime pickle glaze and bake for 15 mins more. Serve garnished with the chilli (dipped in a little oil to make it glisten) and a few coriander leaves.

 Mue’s Chai Latte Choc Chip Muffins (and some variations)

When I asked Mue for the recipe she had to quantify her instincts on ingredients, (and thanks for leaving out the eggs first time round missus) but the results were judged by those who ate them as ‘the best they have ever had’. I have slightly adjusted the recipe, using chai latte mix instead of masala chai and used my favourite buttermilk instead of sour cream. (makes 12 generous muffins)

Ingredients:

3.5 cups flour (about 350g) plain flour

3 tbsp. baking powder

1 tbsp chai latte powder

Pinch kosher salt

125g butter, melted

200g sugar

2 tbsp. Coconut oil, melted

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups buttermilk and maybe a tbsp of milk

2 eggs

1 50g packet of chocolate chips plus a few extra for serving

For the streusel topping: 

20g plain flour

10g sugar

10g butter

1 tsp. Chai latte powder

How to make

Heat the oven to 220C/ Gas 7-8. Line a 12 cup muffin tin with muffin holders (I like the tulip-shaped ones in the photo). 

In a large bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, sugar, chai latte powder and salt. In separate bowl mix the melted, cooled butter and coconut oil with the beaten eggs, Buttermilk, splash of milk (1 tbsp) and the vanilla paste. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until a thick, gloopy consistency. Add a little more milk if the mix is too stiff. You want it not quite falling off your spoon. Then fold in the chocolate chips. 

In a third bowl, rub the butter into the flour until you have fine breadcrumbs then mix in the sugar and chai latte. 

Fill the muffin cups evenly (about 2 tbsp. Mix per cup), then top with the streusel and pop in the oven, turning the heat down immediately to 180C/ Gas 5. Bake for 30 mins until a skewer comes out clean from the centre, then remove from the oven and dot each muffin with a few more chocolate chips cool and serve. 

Variations

For Blueberry muffins, omit the chai latte powder and choc chips and stir in 3 oz fresh blueberries into the muffin mix. Bake as before. 

For Apple, Pecan and Golden Syrup muffins. Melt 2 tbsp golden syrup with the butter and coconut oil, then add all the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients as before. Fold in 1 grated apple and 50g coarsely chopped pecans into the muffin mix then bake as before. Dot each muffin with a few more chopped pecans when out of the oven and before they cool. 

Mue and Cherie’s Ugly Green Juice

This is the colour of verdigris but tastes delightful. Just shut your eyes and drink (or colour match with your nail polish, like here). 

Ingredients: 

½ cup frozen strawberries

2 tsp acai berry powder or lingonberry powder

2 tsp Splenda or Stevia sweetener

4 tsp. Spirulina

1-2 Cups nut milk (try to get a nice think consistency, so start with 1 cup and add more to taste

How to Make

Put all your ingredients into a blender, blitz till smooth and serve. 

It’s that simple.

[chltlssbtm4793]

Yoon Nam-ki ♥ Da-eun Lee "Second Marriage"

Remarried couple Yoon Nam-gi and Lee Da-eun met Dr. Oh Eun-young.

On the afternoon of the 10th, Channel A's entertainment program 'Oh Eun-young's Golden Counseling Center' appeared as a couple, Yoon Nam-gi and Lee Da-eun, who met for the first time through 'Dol Singles 2' and started a new family. They frankly confessed that they did not want to fail in their second marriage, drawing attention.

On this day, Nam-gi Yoon and Da-eun Lee appeared in a savory appearance. Those who received perfect scores in the bean pod test drew attention when asked what kind of trouble they came out with. Da-eun Lee opened her mouth. She said, "I have to fail because I am remarried. There is a fear of failure like that. I am worried about how to keep this remarried life as happy as it is now," she said. Dr. Oh Eun-young nodded her head and advised, "When you divorce, there must be a reason. You must understand the cause of the failure."

Lee Da-eun and her daughter Ri-eun came out. Now 31 months, she revealed her extraordinary affection for Lee Eun-yi, who is 4 years old this year. However, she confessed that she cares more about her daughter's behavior as she is a stepdad, saying, "She has troubles about what to do if Lee Eun-yi keeps away from me."

Dr. Oh Eun-young asked, "There are quite a few people who think that children are an obstacle to remarriage, but what about Nam Gi?" Yoon Nam-gi said, "She was nervous when Ri Eun-i appeared at first," she recalled. Da-eun Lee said, "It's still amazing, her first meeting was like a movie." She said, "She was worried about Lee Eun-yi being shy, but it went well with her brother."

Yoon Nam-gi was moved to tears when asked about his feelings at the time. Da-eun Lee, who was watching her, also quietly wiped away her tears. Yoon Nam-gi, who blushed with tears in her eyes, said, "I can't help but say that I am moved. I really thought I would become a father," she said. The two of them were crying in a storm, and Dr. Eun-Young Oh said that the relationship with Eun-Ri must have been impressive, and she said, "She seems to be a teardrop button for Nam Gi-Min." She also added, "No matter how we met, the two of us are Lee Eun-i's mother and father. As long as she loves her enough as a mother and father," she added.

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[waterlilyvioletfog]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4: Spoils of War, A Summary (FULL SPOILERS)

Bronn: Hey Jaime! Why are you so sad-faced? 

Jaime: Olenna was a boss ass bitch and she threw a lot of shade at me. 

Bronn: Cool bro! Now, thanks for the six-figure paycheck, but when can I expect my CASTLE?!!?

Jaime: ... 

Jaime: Your single-minded self-interest is giving me flashbacks to literally every other character on this show beyond, like, Sansa, Jon, and Tyrion. pls stop it now. 

-Meanwhile, in King’s Landing-

Cersei: *plotting* 

-Meanwhile, in Winterfell-

Littlefinger: Hai, I’m your new step-dad! Wait, no- uncle! No, that’s not right- ah! yes, I’m your sister’s new boyfriend! I will take very good care of you. 

Bran: *unimpressed* 

Littlefinger: ... dammit, apparently all little boys are not as manipulable as Robin. Well, do you want this dagger that almost killed you? 

Bran: *mildly interested* 

Littlefinger: Ah! Deadly weapons! A perfect segue to your tragic backstory- 

Bran: CHAOS IS A LADDER. 

Bran: *goes back to looking bored and done with everything* 

Littlefinger: *thinking* *oh shit you know about that fuuuuuuccccckkkkkk* 

Littlefinger: ... Gotta go! 

Meera: Bran, my brother died for you! Hodor died for you! Summer died for you! 

Bran: I used to have a crush on you, but then I accidentally downloaded the ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET into my brain and I have for gotten how to function as a human being. BAI! 

Meera: ... I hate you so much. 

Bran: You’re entitled to that. 

Arya: *IS BACK, MOTHER FUCKERZ!!!!!!* 

Guards: *the most astoundingly noob-ish noobs to ever noob* 

Arya: COME AND FIND ME, MOTHER FUCKERZ. ARYA STARK HAS JUST INITIATED A GREAT AND MIGHTY GAME OF HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK. HAHAHAHA! YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME NOW! 

Sansa: Oh! I know exactly where she is! 

Arya: *standing in front of Sean Bean’s grave and I’m not crying, YOU’RE CRYING* 

Sansa and Arya: *hugs* 

Arya: Yo, gurl, it true you murdered Joff the Jerk? 

Sansa: No, but I did feed my husband who repeatedly raped me to his own dogs. 

Arya: Nice. 

Arya: Oh, btw, I’m an assassin now. 

Sansa: ... 

Sansa: *nervous laughter* 

Arya: *nervous laughter* 

Sansa: Bran’s home. 

Arya: BABY BRO IS HOME!!!!! 

Sansa: *look* 

Arya: ... shit, what happened to Bran?!?! 

Bran: *became a tree wizard, dummy, and now he knows everything that ever happened to everyone everywhere and it kind of broke his mind*

Bran: Hello, older, but much tinier than me, sister. It is a goodly thing to see you home once more.

Bran: Though I kinda thought you’d go south so you could murder Cersei. 

Sansa: *thinking* *oh shit all of my siblings went absolutely batshit crazy* 

Bran: WOULD YOU LIKE THIS FANCY-ASS DAGGER, TINY SISTER. 

Arya: Um. Sure? Why? 

Bran: *whispering* it’ll be important for the plot later on shhhhh, just take the knife. 

Arya: ... Okaaaayyyyy. Now I understand what Sansa meant. 

-Meanwhile, there’s fresh hot goss at Dragonstone High!- 

Dany: Sooo... 

Missandei: ... Grey Worm and I had sex. 

Dany: I knew it! I call a sleep over at my place tonight! I want ALL the details, girl! We will braid each other’s hair and we’ll do each other’s nails, and Varys can come over and we can do his nails too!!!!  

Jon: ahem 

Missandei: *looks at Dany* 

Dany: ... shut the fuck up Missandei. 

Jon: I cAn ShOw yOu ThE wOOOOOOOOrLd!!!!!! 

Missandei and Dany: It’s so pretty! 

Jon: *smug* 

Jon: Dany, come over here. 

Jon: *proceeds to seduce Dany using only his Soft Eyes (as well as drawings which he may or may not have totally done himself)* 

Dany: *proceeds to be thoroughly seduced* Okay, I believe you. 

Dany: BUT 

Dany: I still need you to bend the knee before we can have sex. 

Jon: I hate you so much. 

Dany: JUST BEND THE KNEE ALREADY. YOUR LORDS WILL LISTEN! YOU’RE A KING! THEY WILL DO WHAT YOU TELL THEM, EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T WANT YOU TO DO THAT! 

Jon: The last time I did something like that, I was stabbed in the heart by a twelve year old. I think I’ll pass. 

Tyrion: Oh, by the way, something more important than your love lives is going on right now. 

Dany: What now?! 

Tyrion: I fucked up. 

Dany: *proceeds to blame Tyrion for not being a great general when literally everything he’s done in this series was mostly a failure that worked out okay in the end*

Dany: I don’t trust any of you! 

Dany: Jon! You’re my boyfriend! Give me advice! 

Jon: First of all, I’m not your boyfriend, and second of all *proceeds to give an inspiring speech about not murdering civilians or burning castles* 

-Meahwhile, Sansa still needs to see just how far this shit has gone- 

Brienn: *whooping Pod’s ass* 

Arya: noob 

Arya: Brienne! You’re a badass! Let me fight against you! 

Brienne: ... Okay, kiddo. 

Arya: *is tiny* 

Arya: *pulls out an even tinier sword* 

Brienne: I’ll go easy on you. 

Arya: *mocking smile* 

Arya: *proceeds to whoop Brienne’s ass* 

Sansa: ... *thinking* *oh shit she wasn’t lying about being an assassin* 

Arya: *completes whooping Brienne’s ass* 

Arya: *bows* 

Sansa: Okay that’s it, Jon’s hearing about this, he needs to know that the kids went batshit insane while we were away. 

Littlefinger: *bows back to Arya* 

Arya: *takes notice of Littlefinger* 

Arya: *KILL BILL SIRENS* 

-Meanwhile, there is yet more fresh goss in the hallways of Dragonstone High- 

Davos: Sooo...

Jon: Sooo? 

Davos: You and Dany? I’ve seen you checking her out. 

Jon: *deliberately ignoring this comment* 

Davos: Hi Missandei! 

Missandei: Hello! Would you like to become both depressed and inspired? 

Missandei: *depresses Jon, cue brooding sad-face* 

Missandei: *is inspirational* 

Jon: ... Yeah, Dany’s cool and all, but that’s a Greyjoy ship. 

Theon: Guys! Guys! I have news! 

Jon: *apparates into view* 

Theon: oh. 

Theon: fuck. 

Theon: Hey Jon! How’s Sansa and the kids? 

Jon: *is an overprotective big brother and is having none of this* 

Theon: ... That went a lot better than it could have. 

Theon: I wanna talk to Dany. 

Jon: Too late, she just went to drop off Drogon at the first day of kindergarten. 

-Meanwhile, shit is getting real like three miles from King’s Landing- 

Shit: *goes down for like twenty minutes so i’m skipping most of it, but it did include Dany both listening to Jon’s advice (going after soldiers, not civilians) and also roasting a fuckton of grain, which could have been useful but no and also shit with a dragon and also Bronn and some character developement but we don’t have time for that so!* 

Jaime: *sees that everything’s on fire* 

Jaime: *has flashbacks and PTSD big time* 

Dany: *open to attack* 

Jaime: *charges because he’s a hot-headed idiot who gets shit done with a metric fuckton of PTSD* 

Tyrion: WhAt ThE aCtUaL fUcK aRe YoU dOiNg?! 

Jaime: *about to kill Dany* 

Drogon: NOPE 

Jaime: oh shit 

Bronn: *saves the day! whoopee!* 

Jaime: *probably just drowned*

Me: ... don’t you dare kill Jaime.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat Feb 19

Okay so I still have no idea whats going on with the move. We haven’t really discussed it much these past few days due to the drama surrounding it, and I was told that we would get September to get everything done so I lost a large portion of stress and anxiety compared to how I’ve been feeling.  

In other news, back in July I realized that I never got my June Tokyo Treat box. I’m not sure what happened because they said it was sent out, and when I contacted them (after the 60 day wait as requested) they asked me to wait like 14 more days and see if it arrives. So basically, if it doesn’t come around the middle of next week I have to contact them again.

“Can you believe it’s already March?! While we hate to see the beauty of Winter fade away, we are super excited for Spring to come along. We love all the gorgeous flowers that bloom, the warm sunlight bringing color back into the world, and all the fresh fruits and veggies that are starting to be harvested! Speaking of fruits and veggies, we thought the idea of fresh produce would be a great idea for this month’s box. So, we curated a box inspired by fresh food to bring refreshing, delicious flavors to you this month. We hope all the snacks in this month’s box brings a smile to your face as bright as the Spring sun! Have a great month everyone!“

For this month, the Lucky Treat and Prize items are all focused on various popular Studio Ghibli movies. The featured pages talk about Hinamatsuri (Girls Day), and how to keep away bad luck around the start of a new year.

Okay, so as usual I won’t be covering the DIY- but I won’t be making a blog post on it either. I’ve gotten this several times (I’m pretty sure I have one of each mold by now), it never changes, it’s self-explanatory, it also tastes good so I would recommend it if you see it. I did take a picture though:

You get four sticks and enough of both candy (Lemon and Strawberry) to make them all, but for demonstrative purposes I only decided to make 3.

Coca Cola Peach

I decided not to review this item either, because we’ve already gotten it in a previous box. However, this is an improved version of the drink; it was so popular that they brought it back this year but added real white peach juice to ensure a richer flavor and refreshing taste and scent.

So... if I recall I did like the drink, I’m not sure how much but I was looking forward to having it again. According to the wrapper, its only 31kcal.

As soon as you open it you’re hit by a very strong peach scent (and the lid making a loud bursting sound! It always surprises me >3<) with a very light cola scent in the background. The flavor is very strong, I was a bit surprised but I didn’t hate it. However, the cola seems almost completely drowned out by peach, which could be good or bad depending on who you ask. The peach lingers for a few minutes, but then I also caught a small hint of bitterness as it passes.

Minions Chocolate Wafer & Pokemon Cookies

First up we got some chocolate for the review. First will be the Chocolate Wafer by Furuta that features the Minions for this box. This is a common snack that has featured several series, each package contains 1 of several big, shiny sticker with the wafer. Each wafer is 53kcal.

Rating:  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This might shake some people, but I actually don’t like Minions. I think they’re really annoying and I don’t get their popularity, but I will admit that on rare occasion they can be a little cute. We’re not here to judge them though, just the wafer.

I want to say “if you tried one wafer than you have tried them all“, but these are actually pretty decent for being so thin. When I took my first bite I didn’t think they had much flavor, but the more of it I ate the more I got the rich chocolate cream within it. It might not be the best chocolate, but it’s not terrible.

-------

Our other item also features a super-popular mascot, this time Pokemon! These are also by Furuta, so I assume they might have other series of these, but I haven’t seem them. Each bag contains 63 grams of wrapped baby-sized chocolate, chocolate chip cookies :D I am OBSESSED with chocolate chocolate chip muffins, and I love chocolate chip cookies so I was so ready for this!

Each cookie is 49kcal, and I think we get about 8-10 cookies per bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

As small as the cookies are, they are super ultra chocolatey and fudge-like. Very soft and a bit chewy, they remind me a lot of these cookies my mom would get me after work when I was little. Highly recommend.

Would you believe my luck- almost every single wrapped featured the Alolan Rokan/Vulpix! For anyone new or unfamiliar, my favorite Pokemon has always been Rokan/Vulpix, so I love love love its snowy counterpart too~  

Bear Club Gummies & Pineapple Gummies & Ramune Candy

Okay, so I won’t be reviewing the gummy bears only because I mean... they’re typical gummy bears. I’ve gotten them once or twice before now and they don’t change. Each bag is 39kcal, and ironically after the few I ate, I only had 3 green bears left... I think they’re green apple flavored. The gummies are okay, but they’re kind of chewy and hard so I wouldn’t say they were my first choice...

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Next up is some cute Pineapple slice gummies. Which stuck to the plastic due to being in the package so long and because of summer...

These are by the brand Pine and each pack is 48.9kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I had to use a knife to pry them out and it still made a sticky mess. As it turns out the mold can be played with a little to pop them out <3< Despite that problem, these taste really good. They have a slight tartness to them like real pineapple, so I waver between realistic pineapple and candy/fake pineapple with these guys. I think they would be worth trying if you like Pineapple.

-------

Our next item is another one I had; but I haven’t reviewed it yet. You might recognize the shapes though, because I have covered two other flavors before; the mixed variety, and the strawberry one.

These soda/ramune flavored ramune candies (powdered candy mixture that is hardened into a specific shape. When eaten it breaks down into powder.). These little cuties are circular in shape, some of which bear the adorable droplet mascots on the packaging in various expression, and a cute translucent ramune bottle container.

The bottle is 108kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I don’t like hard candy very much, but I make an exception for ramune-style candy. It’s powdered so it dissolves and you don’t need to have it in your mouth long to bite through it. The flavor is light in the mouth and pretty sweet, and it strongly brings to mind the ramune/soda flavor that is so popular in Japan~

Look A La Mode Chocolate

Our next item was a variety pieces; we could either get this delicious bite-sized chocolate bag, or a bag of Banana Omelette Cakes. Considering my strong dislike of banana, I am very happy I got these!

What makes this bag special s that you get 4 different chocolates: Banana, Strawberry, Almond, and Pineapple flavoring in the middle. I believe the pineapple is a new flavor according to the bag, the booklet also mentions a caramel flavor, so I’m not sure if the pineapple replaced it, or if that’s an oversight. Each one has 24-28 kcal. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Because there is 4 flavors, I’m rating them more of a concept than each individual flavor- that comes below this segment. As a whole, the chocolate is very good. They’re small but you get a lot of flavor, and the cream in the middle isn’t skimpy at all and they taste very much like the item they represent.

Okay, so now I’ll be telling you my feelings of each flavor. The booklet suggests having these with some tea or coffee, and because I hate tea, I grabbed coffee. I’ll be listing my opinions of each one with and without coffee to see if there is any differences.

WC - With Coffee

Strawberry: Typical strawberry-chocolate taste. Loved it like usual. - WC: The strawberry flavor was still really strong.

Banana: Tastes like real banana, didn’t hate it - WC: banana was covered up

Almond: Creamy and smooth, definitely taste almond - WC: covered up a little, but I could still taste almond. I liked it.

Pineapple: Never had chocolate and pineapple, but it’s tasty. The pineapple flavor lasted a while. - WC: I could still taste the pineapple a bit, wasn’t too crazy about the combination but not bad.

So all and all, I didn’t see too much of a difference with or without coffee. I think the almond went with it perfectly.

Rice Puff Carrot & Curry Corn Snack

The Carrot will be our final “sweet” item, I say that because the booklet describes it as savory and apparently popular in Japan- but to me it tastes a bit sweet, a lot like a breakfast cereal I’ve had before in fact... 

The calories for this carrot is 51.2kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Okay so... these weren’t opened, but when I opened them to try I thought they were a little stale. They have a slight sweetness to them, like I said I don’t taste savory at all. I don’t hate them, but they weren’t my favorite thing in the box.

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Our next item is a crunchy sweet-savory curry inspired corn snack. I couldn’t find the calories on this one, nor do I have much to say about it in all honesty. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I love crispy-crunchy snacks, and initially when I tried these I was like “these taste like curry?“ but a few later and I totally got it! They taste like the curry you can make with the little premade squared blocks of seasoning, I bought them once before but the flavor of these matches them exactly. I do wish the flavoring was a hint stronger though.

Chibeans & Split Pea Snack

Next up are these two very similar pea snacks which I do believe I’ve had before- but I’ll review them because I don’t exactly remember. Anyway, before I get into them I wanted to point out that I hate peas and green-beans a lot! However, for some strange reason I like to pick open the podded ones and eat the little bean in them, or sometimes I’ll eat the pod too.

First is the Pea Stick Snack, the greenish ones with the cutesy drawing on the package. These are savory and have a strong crunch, and they are made to taste like they were just picked off of the vine :3

Each bag is 86kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

If you like crunchy snacks you’ll love these, they are very crunchy- but not to an impossible extent. They didn’t hurt my mouth at all after eating them. The flavoring is very strong too!

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Our next item is by Calbee, and it also came in a variant. We could either get a share pack of these, or a vegetable stick share pack. I’ve had the vegetable sticks plenty of times and while they’re not bad, I’d rather have these.

This is on the healthier side of snacking, but they’re crispy and look more realistic than the prior snack, although it also has a strong flavor and is very crispy. Each bag is 58kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

If I was asked to choose between the two snacks, I’m not sure I could. They have a similar theme but they both taste delicious in their own way. These ones are light and crispy, and they have a bit of saltiness to them rather than straight up vegetable flavor.

Teriyaki Burger Umaibo & Buttery Salted Sweet Potato Chips

These are our last two items for the review, and I’m not sure you can see it but the Umaibo stick was completely annihilated :P but still edible so it’s fine. I won’t be reviewing this because I’ve gotten it several times (like a few other things in here...) and my opinion never changes; it’s very tasty and I’d recommend it, I think it’s my second favorite Umaibo!

-----

Lastly we have some super-crunchy sweet potato chips. Actually it was kind of funny, while I ate these I was thinking “why does this remind me so much of those sweet potato chips I like?“, then I actually read what these were. So yeah...

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They don’t really look like the sweet potato chips I’ve had, but they really do taste like them. You get the buttery salty taste and a sweetness that makes them very pleasant. They are a bit hard and crunchy (something my mouth hates) but they’re not nearly as hard as baked chips, so they didn’t bother me too much.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 4 out of 5. Everything was very tasty, I had no complaints there. However, I felt like the repetition was even worse in this box that what it was previously- which is kind of a bummer. Also, while we did get a handful of items that included multiples, I noticed that all together the items/amount was pretty small. I guess it’s a give-and-take scenario?

Theme - 4 out of 5. Okay, so the theme was produce, meaning things like vegetables and fruits. There was about 5 items that didn’t meet what I consider to be produce items, but everything else fit like exactly. I kinda wish they gave us a different DIY though, because I can think of a couple that would have fit the theme.

Total Rank: 8 out of 10. Like last month I was satisfied with the box but it could have used some improvements too. Like...  kind of feel like we got traded Quantity for Quality. The Quality was fine (minus obliterated Umaibo), but there was a LOT of repeats, even though they were delicious. It’s come to my attention that the reason I might not be as satisfied with the box sometimes is because I see how unique Japan Crate is and wish we got more unique items. We do on rare occasion, but for the price of the box I kind of wish it was more consistent. I have liked the items though, so I can’t say it isn’t worth getting.

Also, as of late I’ve noticed they didn’t include a specifically noted health snack, so I’m beginning to wonder if they removed it.

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

1. Pokemon Cookies - They pack a lot of flavor for being so small, I loved them and every single chewy soft bite~!

2. Teriyaki Burger Umaibo - I adore this, it never gets old!

3. Coca Cola Peach -  I think it tastes better than last time, but the aftertaste is a little unattractive. . .

4. Ramune Candy - I love snacking on these, especially if you need a sweet pick-me-up~

5. Pea Stick Snack - I love the bright green color, even if they aren’t the most attractive looking thing. They had a very strong taste.

6. Buttery Salted Sweet Potato Chips - They seem kind of average, but I love sweet potato chips so these were like a semi-upgraded version! I found them to be pretty addictive.

7. Curry Corn Snack - I wish there was more in the bag, these taste pretty good. They’re not spicy or anything, but they did make me think of the curry I’ve tried.

8. Look A La Mode - Very tasty, sweet but they weren’t overly, and I was impressed by how each one gave me a different experience. I was even impressed by the realistic banana taste.

9. Split Pea Snack - Tasty and I love how crispy they are. But I feel like they didn’t have much natural flavor like the other pea snack, just saltiness. 

10. Pineapple Gummies - I love pineapple, but pineapple candy I feel like I have to be in the mood for.

11. Chocolate Wafer - Initially I didn’t think much of it but the more I ate the better it was~

12. Bear Club Gummies - Average, but chewy gummy bears. I like gummies, but they just don’t offer anything.

13. Rice Puffs - As much as I love rice, these just felt so plain in comparison to everything else.

[iamtooarealdoctor]

Diary 5.7.87

Today certainly has been...eventful.  And this evening finds us unexpectedly back in Shrouded Hills.  If nothing else it should confound any pursuers we might have acquired.  I do not care for magick, but teleportation is certainly extremely useful.  And it is good to see Straf using his powers in aid of our purposes for a change.  But I get ahead of myself.

The day began far too early with a scream in the wee hours of the morning.  Room 3 at the Mushroom has now been scene to two murders in as many days.  It was a grisly sight - the victim (one Sheila of ill-repute) torn limb from limb, the walls positively caked with blood, and her head entirely absent, or I might have attempted some reassembly.  And on the wall, cleverly hidden by a painting so that we did not discover it until much later, a dark sigil and a name: L’anamelach.  Dyna, in the adjacent room, had been woken by a massive magickal discharge, and this fact, combined with the name and the landlord’s testimony of seeing glowing red eyes has led us to believe that the Whitechurch Killer may in fact be a demon.  We feared at first that Dante had done these awful deeds, but it seems that Caladon is beset by a second demonic presence, one that preceded our arrival and travels, it seems, via sewer grates.

When the police arrived at the scene, their captain, an irritable halfling named Henderson, deputized us at once, presumably out of frustration with his own constables, despite all our best attempts to appear wholly innocuous.  We have been charged with finding this killer and putting a stop to his murdering ways.  As refreshing as it is to have full official sanction on our activities, we had hoped to escape any police notice whatsoever, and this mission has flung us back halfway across the continent.  When we accepted, I had no idea of the extent of the delay this would cause...but we have no choice.  This miscreant murders a lady a night, and will continue to do so until we make an end to him.  Haste, however vital, cannot be paid for in the lives of others.

With no thought yet of the turns this would take us on, we retired once more after giving our stories to Henderson and his men.  When we rose once more, we made our way first to the Panarii temple, with the hopes of perhaps finding one who might be able to banish demons.  I admit I hoped also for news of Elder Joachim, or perhaps a way to contact him, but he remains as elusive as ever.  The temple in Caladon is of wholly different stature and quality than the previous Panarii installations we have visited.  It is a grandiose cathedral, towering and well arched, and behind the altar is a massive figure, complete with wings of literal fire - a pair well-crafted and well-stocked braziers.  Very impressive.  We met with an acolyte who could tell us neither his name nor anything useful whatsoever; First Acolyte Alexander is apparently away on pilgrimage, investigating reports of Nasrudin Reborn, and will answer all our questions when he returns.  I have some very disappointing news for him...

Our trip was not entirely fruitless because it did yield an opportunity to read the famed Archeon, the Panarii holy text, which tells of the final confrontation between Nasrudin and Arronax.  Although it was sadly devoid of useful details about how Arronax might be defeated, being more concerned with Nasrudin’s Goodness and Arronax’s Wickedness, it did say that the confrontation took place at a landmark called the Black Spire, which we were told is in or near Roseborough.  It also mentioned that Nasrudin built his own final resting place at the southernmost tip of the land; surely, that must be in Caladon, but if it were, would not the Panarii know about it?  I should like to visit this tomb, if its location can be discovered.  I have some choice words for the Living One.

The Panarii temple is at the far side of town, and almost adjacent to the workshops of the ubiquitous Heironeus Maxim.  His was the maker’s mark on the Flying Machines that brought down the IFS Zephyr all that time ago.  But it seems he was as much of a victim as we are!  He told us that yes, the Flying Machines (he called them Aero-Planes) were of his design, but that his laboratories were raided and his prototypes stolen - by Half-Ogres bearing the mark of the Gnomish Industrial Council!  The sorry state of his workshop even two years later corroborates this story, and the loss of his prototypes has left him a broken and discredited man.  He was overjoyed to learn that we had photographic evidence of his Aero-Planes in flight, still intact on the plates of the broken camera I recovered from the crash.  He has given me copies of the prints and promised to repair the camera for my use as well, and to Dyna he gave a Medical Arachnid - he has in fact offered us any help he may in return for our role in repairing is reputation.  Maxim seems a kindly soul, who wants nothing more than to be left in peace with his machines.  He seeks only to invent and thereby improve the world around him, and is utterly devoid of ambition.  He has a great love for creating things, both functional and beautiful, and for studying all that he can.  He is a good man, and we are all better for knowing him.

Our conversation with him did reveal some disturbing information that I do not fully know what to make of.  Firstly, a potential connection between the Gnomish Industrial Council and the Molochian Hand seems an alliance almost too terrible to contemplate.  Myriad enemies working at cross-purposes is preferable, I think, to a single all-powerful one.  And I shudder to think how their interests could possibly align.  Magick and Technology do not typically keep close company.  Equally worrying, in a very different way, is the study he has made of Salaakkan.  For yes!  Maxim too knows of that anomalous moon, and seems to have made more careful observation of it than even Buxington, aided perhaps by superior telescopy of his own invention.  While he did not believe our theory that Salaakkan actually passes through the Void in its orbit, his calculations reveal that it draws closer to our world with every pass.  This can only end in cataclysm, should it eventually draw too near to escape us again.  But if Maxim can build a craft that flies, despite being heavier than air, perhaps he can build a craft that will carry us to the stars themselves - or at least to the moons.

After passing a happy morning with Maxim, we proceeded at last to the police station to do our civic duty.  We spoke with a...lady of negotiable affection... named Cecilia, who had witnessed the first murder, her colleague Emily.  Her description corroborated our hypothesis of a demon as the culprit, but she also described him as slight of build with slicked back hair, possibly Elvish, and as standing in the floor.  We now believe that this is because he uses the sewer system to travel, for we found sewer grates at both crime scenes.  This in turn suggests a rather more corporeal demon than our Dante - a mortal being possessed by a demonic entity.  The crime scene also revealed that poor Emily had been wholly exsanguinated, for what purpose I cannot guess.  Some strange compulsion drives this L’anamelach.  Why should a demon care about prostitutes?  And why perform these grisly rituals upon them?

We obtained a map to the sewer system without difficulty, for everyone in Caladon is both more professionally competent and conscienciously helpful than their Tarantian counterparts, and from there I set out to learn something more about demons.  I can conclude this much: magick users are universally terrifying, but demons are perhaps even more so.  The police put me in touch with the local expert in all things occult, the proprietress of the local magick shop, a blind seeress whose name escapes me utterly.  She, too, was singularly helpful - Caladon is truly a remarkable city.  This is not the first demonic incursion into Caladon it seems; some 50 years ago, the city was beset by the demon Amlach, who was ultimately dispatched at great cost by none other than the excitable Captain Henderson.  I also learned, to my great distress, that Dante is no ordinary familiar.  Rather, it is one of the G’yon-she, the Lords of Hell, of whom only 13 exist.  And we have released it upon the mortal world.  It seems that the only reliable way to dispel it is the death of its controlling mage - that is, Wolf.  This...may be an acceptable price.  She might also be able to dismiss it herself through a contest of wills, but I worry about the consequences should she fail...

Meanwhile Straf got his beans identified, and managed not to get us all thrown out of the shop.  Ah yes.  Straf has acquired “magick beans” from a pair of bickering halfling gardeners.  To my eyes they are indistinguishable from any other phaseolus - they could be P. vulgaris even - but Dyna’s allergy testified to their magickal nature.  The three, though clearly of a type, have turned out to have distinct properties: they are, I am told, a Seed of Extirpation, a Pod of Regeneration, and a Pip of Menstruation.  While the utility of the first two is obvious, the third is simply bizarre.  The Pod of Regeneration is of particular interest to me, as I have kept some of Straf’s molted skin against this very eventuality; it is possible that with some care I might be able to return him to his original form.  Or create a second ancillary Straf, which would be...terrible.

And speaking of which...in our absence, Dyna has...upgraded Norman.  Into an automaton, of the type we fought in Ashbury.  He is 8 feet tall and appears to have the mind of a toddler.  For the present.  The new medical arachnid she has named Holly.  They are...friends.  I can only hope we are a better influence upon him than we have been upon the young and impressionable in the past, and that we have not merely created yet another unstoppable killing machine.  He seems...affectionate...?  But he has already learned to swear, and I am ...wary of what the future holds.

But in the immediate sense the future holds a wholly unexpected diversion.  For, upon consultation with Captain Henderson, and a demonologist contact of his at the University of Tarant, it seems that any given demon can only be slain by a specific dagger, and the blade marked for L’anamelach lies in a place called the Pit of Fire, on the eastern side of the Stonewall Range, several days south of Shrouded Hills.  So we go now to retrieve it, and then return to Caladon, and then confront this demon in the sewers, and then, perhaps, return to our pursuit of the village of the Dark Elves.  Straf has learned teleportation, which makes things somewhat easier, and so we are at last back in Shrouded Hills, and will depart for the Pit of Fire on the morrow.  At least no one should be seeking us here, for the time being, and we seem to have weathered Caladon with no ill-effects - unless being sent halfway around the world on this errand counts as one, but it is a pleasant country here and I have no complaints.  And perhaps some solution to the problem of Dante will present itself along the way. 

[eliasvickery]

Coffee Gift Guide 2018

Best Coffee Gifts of 2018

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It's that time of year again!

Every year, I take a look at the best coffee gifts for your coffee-obsessed friends and family, so you can not only save time shopping, but also receive endless amounts of praise for your thoughtful gift(s). 

This is my guide for the best coffee gifts of 2018, organized by your giftee's coffee personality and your budget. Of course, everything on this list is just my subjective opinion, but I still want to make sure most of our readers are satisfied with my picks.

So, if there is something on this list that you feel is a bad recommendation, please share your alternative recommendations in the comments section at the end of the post!

Table of Contents

Coffee Gifts Under $20

Funny Coffee Gifts

Gifts for a Coffee Snob

The Budding Home Barista

Affiliate Disclosure

Please also that some of the items below contain affiliate links. This means that if you buy one of the items, at no additional cost to you, The Coffee Concierge will earn a commission on each sale. I only promote products that I have investigated and truly feel deliver value to you, regardless of the compensation we may receive. Please do not spend any money on these products without first conducting your own independent research.

Coffee Gifts Under $20

If you're operating on a limited budget, there are still plenty of great coffee-related gifts under $20. Here are my favorites (listed in no particular order) for 2018:

1

The World Atlas of Coffee

If there were only one book I could recommend about coffee, it would be The World Atlas of Coffee by James Hoffmann.

The book is digestible for coffee novices, yet still informative enough for coffee enthusiasts and professionals alike. Hoffmann recently released the 2nd edition of the book, which you can learn more about here.

See Price on Amazon

2

OXO Single Serve Pour Over Auto Drip

If you've been tempted to get into pour over coffee but aren't quite sure it's worth the extra hassle, the OXO Single Serve Pour Over Auto Drip might serve as a perfect compromise between auto and manual brewing methods.

With a built-in reservoir that sits above the cone dripper, water can be evenly dispersed at a constant flow rate, allowing for a more consistent extraction and brew time.

See Price on Amazon

3

Biohazard Coffee

Many coffee fanatics are already familiar with the infamous Death Wish Coffee, which alleges to be the "World's Strongest Coffee", but this claim may be challenged by Biohazard Coffee, which contains a whopping 926mg of caffeine per 12oz cup of brewed coffee.

I also thought it tasted a whole lot better than Death Wish, so your caffeine-loving gift recipient will be especially pleased.

See Price on Amazon

4

Mr. Coffee 4-Cup Auto Drip Coffeemaker

Anybody who has ever made coffee at home is already familiar with the classic Mr. Coffee auto drip coffeemaker. With a simple on-off switch and warming plate, there's really not much to it.

Yes, there's nothing fancy about the Mr. Coffee, but this 4-cup version will get the job done without the hassle.

See Price on Amazon

5

Brew: Better Coffee at Home

Brian W. Jones is the dude behind the popular coffee website, Dear Coffee, I Love You. He released his first coffee book, Brew Better Coffee At Home not too long ago, and it's a great primer to (you guessed it) making coffee at home.

At the very least, it makes for a great coffee table book about...coffee!

See Price on Amazon

6

Bean Envy Milk Frother

Milk frothing wands are excellent options for those aspiring home baristas who aren't quite ready to invest in 4-figure espresso machines for their homemade cappuccinos.

There aren't a ton of differences between those that are currently on the market, but the Bean Envy should do the trick for your milk frothing needs.

See Price on Amazon

7

Kuissential SlickDrip

The  SlickDrip is a clever silicone pour-over cone that is great for travel. It's collapsible  to less than 1 inch of thickness, and made from an FDA-approved silicone.

Great for those who live in small spaces and/or live a nomadic lifestyle!

See Price on Amazon

8

Serafino Double Wall  Mugs

These double-wall glass mugs are great for keeping your coffee well-insulated. They also look great!

Just make sure you don't gift them to the clumsy type, these are very fragile mugs.

See Price on Amazon

9

Mr. Coffee Mug Warmer

While a mug warmer isn't going keep your coffee piping hot, it definitely can help with maintaining enough heat to keep your coffee at an enjoyably drinkable temperature.

Mr. Coffee makes one of the more dependable ones on the market. This is an excellent gift for someone who sits at a desk and likes to drink their coffee slowly, from a mug.

See Price on Amazon

10

Coffee Hacks eBook

You didn't think I'd leave my own book off of this list, did you?

I wrote Coffee Hacks to help those who struggle to make great coffee from the comfort of their own home. More specifically, Coffee Hacks provides a step-by-step process for how to troubleshoot the brew process after a poorly-brewed cup (or pot) of coffee.

Yeah, it's an eBook...so probably better to give as a gift for yourself. Ya know, since you can't really wrap it and all.

Buy Now

Funny Coffee Gifts

Obviously, I might not have the same sense of humor as you, but I thought these were some of the funnier little coffee gifts I've stumbled upon recently.

1

Nevermind, I have to poop mug

I'd say this is a pretty relatable mug for most of us coffee-drinkers.

See Price on Amazon

2

Without coffee...sweatshirt

For the millennial coffee drinker in your life, this sweatshirt should be well-received.

Buy on Etsy

3

Don't cha mug

If you're familiar with the smash 00's hit by the Pussycat Dolls, you'll understand the humor in this mug. If not, sorry for wasting your time.

Buy Now

4

I'm not addicted wall art

This is one of many coffee memes from this etsy store that makes wall art for coffee lovers.

Buy on Etsy

5

Addicted to pot mug

Does this offend you? Maybe you're drinking too much pot.

See Price on Amazon

Gifts for a Coffee Snob

Last year, I did an entire post on my 10 favorite gifts for coffee snobs, and I'm back with updates for 2018 below!

Yes, there were a few items on my list that made the return from last year, but that's only because they are just that good for a coffee snob. Here's my list, in no particular order:

1

Sudden Coffee

We ran a giveaway for Sudden Coffee earlier this year because we love it so much. This is instant Speciality Coffee, freeze dried single-origin coffee pre-brewed by experts.

This is definitely not your grandmother's instant coffee.

Buy from Sudden

2

Kruve Coffee Sifter

The Kruve coffee sifter makes a great gift for a coffee snob because it allows them to refine their grind even further than their $1000 burr coffee grinder ever could.

The irony is that the Kruve is also great for those coffee snobs who can't afford an expensive burr grinder, since it helps you filter out fines and boulders without worrying about your grinder's consistency so much.

Buy Now

3

Flair Signature Espresso Maker

In the last couple of year, the Flair espresso maker has already become a staple amongst home espresso enthusiasts. Its portability, along with its affordability makes it a popular option, but the main draw is the high-quality espresso you can get out of it.

The latest version, the Signature Pro, includes a built-in pressure gauge that your coffee snob will truly appreciate.

See Price on Amazon

4

EKG Variable Temperature Kettle

This is just about as sexy and modern as a kettle can get. The EKG Variable Temperature Kettle has a unique Z-shaped spout for an even more controlled pour. The black matte finish, ergonomic handle, and clean temperature-selection interface make this an especially great option for your pour-over-obsessed coffee snob.

See Price on Amazon

5

Espro Travel Coffee Press

For the coffee snob who is frequently traveling, the Espro Travel Coffee Press doubles as a coffee maker and a travel mug. Simply add ground coffee to the permanent filter pod, followed by hot water to the travel mug (or vice versa), then press!

See Price on Amazon

6

Lido E-T Hand Grinder

The hand grinder company with a cult-like following has made it onto our list again this year, this time with the E-T model!

The Lido E-T is designed specifically for espresso-level grinds, making it the perfect companion to the Flair for portable, affordable, and high-quality espresso for under $500. Pretty much unheard of!

See Price

7

Bean Box World Coffee Tour

Bean Box, a Seattle-based coffee subscription service that we've previously reviewed, now offers a World Coffee Tour gift  box, which includes 16 coffee whole bean coffee samples of varying roasts and regions.

The gift box also comes with some delicious little chocolates that go great with the coffee that's included.

Learn More

8

Third Wave Water

Third Wave Water is a mineral solution for producing water that's ideal for brewing coffee. Since brewed coffee is mostly water, it's important that the water you brew with has the right balance of minerals.

Third Wave Water takes out the guesswork, giving you perfectly formulated water every single time. Simply add the powdered formula to a gallon of distilled water, shake, and you're ready to brew.

See Price on Amazon

9

Melodrip

The Melodrip is one of the hottest new coffee brewing tools from 2018. It's kind of like the Kruve, but instead of focusing on refining your grind, it focuses on refining your pour during a pour-over.

The Melodrip is a small tray that distributes your pour gently, and evenly across the bed of coffee. It allegedly contributes to a cleaner extraction, but I still haven't had the chance to try it.

Still, if there's one tool your coffee snob still hasn't gotten her hands on, this is likely it.

Learn More

10

Acaia Pearl Scale

The Acaia Pearl is still the top-choice coffee-brewing scale amongst snobs and professionals alike. It connects via bluetooth to an app on your smartphone that guides you, the barista, towards a consistent pouring pattern.

This scale makes for a great companion to the EKG Kettle.

See Price on Amazon

The Budding Home Barista

For the Starbucks-addicted coffee lover who keeps saying they're gonna start making lattes at home to help curb their daily habit, here are some gift ideas to help get them started:

1

OXO Brew Conical Burr Coffee Grinder

Almost any coffee professional will tell you that the most important tool in your coffee-brewing arsenal is the grinder, and this is especially true for espresso-based drinks.

The OXO Brew Conical Burr Coffee Grinder is one of the more affordable burr coffee grinders out there at the moment, and it offers pretty good range and consistency for the price.

See Price on Amazon

2

Ninja Coffee Bar

You've probably seen the infomercials for the Ninja Coffee Bar, and it makes some big time promises.

The Ninja Coffee Bar can make anything from latte to iced coffee, making it one of the most versatile coffee makers on the market to-date.

Although you should not expect top-quality coffee drinks from the Ninja, the convenience makes up for its shortcomings.

See Price on Amazon

3

Breville Smart Grinder Pro

I've now been using my Breville Smart Grinder Pro for 3 years, and it has been great for making espresso-based drinks at home.

With a clean interface, 60 grind settings, and a timed doser, this is an excellent mid-tier option for the home barista who has graduated from pressurized filter baskets.

See Price on Amazon

4

Milk Frothing  Pitcher with Built-in Thermometer

If your budding barista wants to make lattes, cappuccinos, macchiatos, or any other espresso-based drink, they'll need a frothing pitcher to accompany their shiny new espresso machine.

I like this one because it has a built-in thermometer to help take out the guesswork when steaming the milk.

See Price on Amazon

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