#how did i have such a hard time figuring out their dynamic?? It's so obvious!

[user-name-h3re]

so happy they're bffs now <3

[ryssabrin]

i honestly feel like the mythal-solas-lavellan thing is not even that complex or hard to figure out and yet i'm still seeing so many solasmancers completely misunderstanding it and hating it as a result of misinterpreting it?

like no. lavellan is not mythal 2.0. i do think there are possibly some aspects about lavellan that drew solas to her because they might remind him of the parts of mythal he admired sure. but then there's a very obvious and intentional contrast! where mythal twisted solas and "used his wisdom as a weapon" so much he literally became pride, lavellan asks his advice, respects his opinions and lets him become more like the wisdom he originally was. mythal left him to go become a god with the rest of the evanuris while lavellan rejects the mantle of chosen one.

and it also really puts in to perspective his extreme reactions to the inquisitor drinking from the well and what happens to the wisdom spirit. he's horrified lavellan is bound to mythal. he's outraged at wisdom being corrupted against its will. those are things mythal did to him. that he let her do because he loved her. those are not things lavellan would do and the moment when he truly comes to respect the inquisitor for their wisdom and judgement is if they agree to help the spirit. it's also when he can't hold himself back from wanting to get closer to lavellan anymore. she shows herself to be the opposite of mythal in a way that is so meaningful to him.

i also don't see how solas is "settling" for lavellan in the redemption ending. whatever his feelings were for mythal, they're so twisted up in all the ways she hurt him too. i think it's interesting there are codex entries that call solas "mythal's lapdog" and her second in command. it makes me wonder if there was ever a time when their dynamic was really equal. when she appears before him he immediately bows his head and won't look her in the eye. he becomes disturbingly submissive. i don't see how anyone can look at that body language and see a man wanting to get back with his ex.

he says in his letter what he really wanted was to give up all of his plans and just be with lavellan as solas. but he doesn't let himself have that because of what he feels he still owes to mythal. he regrets what he let mythal turn him into, he regrets not being able to reconcile with her before her death despite that, and he convinces himself that any pain he causes or damage he does in the aftermath is in her honor. giving it all up for lavellan would be betraying not only mythal but literally the entire elvhen empire who suffered when he created the veil as retribution over the evanuris murdering her.

so when mythal finally gives him closure and tells him he doesn't have to carry that burden anymore, that's when he's finally free to choose lavellan, the person he really wants to be with. the person who allows him to return to his true purpose and makes him better. he's not settling he's moving on.

[seeingivy]

bad blood

actor!ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my dream girl fic

songs mentioned: bad blood by taylor swift and obsessed by olivia rodrigo

--

--

“are you of the opinion that all PR is good PR?” 

sukuna can tell that it’s not the time for jokes. that much is obvious to him from the exasperated looks on everyone’s faces at his ill-timed comment – at nanami pinching the bridge of nose, yuuji shooting him an irritated look (with a whisper of a smile on his face), and his manager shoyo’s eyes pinched shut in frustration. 

“i would be inclined to think that, but sukuna is over party trending for the past three hours is giving me a run for my money here.” shoyo responds. 

sukuna diverts his eyes back to the television, shoyo’s computer projecting the trending hashtag onto the screen, and his fingers darting to refresh every few seconds with another set of irritating tweet about him. sukuna’s gotten the hint from the first three, but he has a sneaking inkling that shoyo’s doing this part just to rub it in his face – that it’s his way of saying i told you so without explicitly doing so. 

shoyo was interesting in that way. managers were interesting in that way. 

sukuna wondered to himself how many other careers had these types of dynamics, with “mentors” who served as stand-in parents. telling someone what to do, what not to do – in attempts to guide them from right or wrong – that almost never worked in his case. 

his gut instinct tells him that almost every single profession does. but it also tells him that the other managers can’t be half as annoying as the special spot that entertainment managers take up. 

at the very least, he can appreciate the take that shoyo has on his position. like a firm, strict father figure. he spares no warmth for him – just the way sukuna likes it. 

“so what are we going to do? can we just ignore it?” sukuna asks. 

it’s a loaded question. 

what can you do when you might have possibly tanked every attempt at an entertainment career before it even starts? 

sukuna’s first manager, starla, taught him three simple facts about the entertainment industry. among other things.

in particular, that the warmth was something that sukuna needed to run far, far away from. 

first – attention is hard to attain. anyone can audition to act in a show, but only one person gets picked. you can be the best in the game but it doesn’t matter unless someone looks at you. 

second – once you have it, attention is hard to maintain. if someone takes the time to watch, who’s to say that they’re ever going to watch you again? anyone can be a one hit wonder, but it takes greater skill to stay relevant, to keep people interested in what you’re putting out. 

and third. reputation is everything. it’s best practice to avoid becoming a contrarian. it’s social suicide to your career. 

it seems that sukuna might have nipped the first two in the bud, by accidentally becoming a contrarian. again. after so narrowly missing it the first time. 

that’s the thing that’s the most frustrating in his opinion. that sukuna did almost nothing out of the sorts, that he had followed every single prim and proper rule he could have after his first few tumbles – and that this time, he very simply became a contrarian for dumping the wrong girl at the wrong time. 

sukuna had made his own additions to the facts as time went on. especially after he was dropped by his old manager, promptly when he turned twenty-three. 

lessons that he learned on his own. this situation alone added three to his list. 

first – do not date the daughter of an industry titan. who has a loving fanbase that will attack you if the two of you break up. 

second – do not crack jokes about good and bad PR when you’ve inadvertently created a mess for almost everyone around you. 

and third – tread lightly the week before the biggest break of your career. things move so fast that they’re in absolute shambles before you know it. 

“there’s nothing you can do besides follow the script that the PR team gave you. keep questions about aimee to a minimum at the event tonight. deflect to the show and only the show.” 

sukuna gives shoyo a mock salute. he still doesn’t find it funny. 

in fact, sukuna can tell that he’s had exactly enough for this meeting, marked by the almost immediate exodus he makes from the room, with nanami following in tow. nanami shoots him an apologetic smile over his shoulder as he exits and it’s one that sukuna can appreciate. 

“you know, i really do question your taste in women.” yuuji states. 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“you question everyone’s taste in women.” sukuna deadpans. 

yuuji gives him a laugh – the one that he had been holding in from earlier – and smacks him hard against the shoulder. sukuna can feel the pressure that he was trying to ignore compounding in his head, as he sinks down into the couch. 

“i’m being serious though. i just don’t understand what you see in these girls. none of these relationships really have a fighting chance, which at this point, you almost have to be doing on purpose. i know you’re not that dumb.” 

sukuna shrugs. he can tell that he’s being baited into having a conversation, a conversation that he doesn’t want to have, and makes a mental note to yuuji later that he shouldn’t lay it on so thick. 

“your point is?” sukuna mutters. 

“i’m not trying to make a point. i’m trying to understand why you’re so…so keen on pursing things you know won’t work out. it’s almost like you don’t want it to work out for you.” 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about. you sound like an idiot.” 

yuuji shakes his head, almost like he’s giving him a sentencing. trying to tell him, making it a point that he’s been caught red handed, that he has to give into the conversation.

“don’t tell me you’re really not trying in earnest because of what happened?” 

sukuna can feel his frustration coming to a head, right in the center of his forehead. it always felt like feelings were concentrated there, right in that sensitive part of his head that made him rush to anger. 

“it’s not about that.” 

yuuji takes the hint. he jumps over the line as often as he can, but won’t push any farther. 

“i just think that you should give things a real, earnest try. i know that none of us can really understand what happened, but…but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen every time. you…you shouldn’t be happy that you’re not trying to find love for real.” 

sukuna clicks his tongue in his cheek. 

“and who said i was doing that?” 

yuuji sighs. 

“you’re always the same you know. you never try for real because you’re scared you’re going to strike out. you….you still…you’re still afraid to pursue someone you actually like because you think…” 

yuuji doesn’t finish the sentence. but sukuna knows the answer, because he’s said it before. 

you’re afraid to pursue someone you actually like because you think they’ll realize there’s nothing to like about you. 

--

--

“do you ever think about pushing yourself creatively?” 

you wonder how many times someone can ask the same question, worded differently. 

in mimi’s case, you’ve reached a whopping count of six. categorically organized – three times while you were out doing your morning coffee, twice over dinner, and today marked a new first,  while writing music at the piano. 

each question exactly the same, every response exactly the same. 

“no. i want to stay exactly the same for the rest of my life.” you deadpan. 

your dry humor earns you a laugh from mimi. in all fairness, it almost always does, because it’s very easy to make her laugh. because she’s a person who is easily pleased, very outgoing, who very simply put, enjoys most things. 

“i wouldn’t even be shocked if you said that to me. your google calendar is my very worst nightmare, you know that?” 

“my google calendar is perfectly organized. just as it should be.” 

“i mean. very organized. i am very appreciative that you’re on time to all of our meetings, which is very rare with your generation.” 

“you’re in the same generation as us. you’re not even that much older than me.” you deadpan. 

“okay, but being a mother has aged me like ten years. all of my friends do pilates in their free time, make brunch plans for fun.” 

“i’m your friend. i don’t do pilates in my free time. and i eat at five in the morning on the dot everyday.” 

“yeah. you’ve just take up different odd hobbies, but it’s basically the same thing.” 

you scoff, as you flip the page on the stand of the piano. 

you wonder how often mimi thinks about that type of thing. the life that she used to live. the fact that you could be doing all the things that she couldn’t necessarily do anymore. it makes you wonder if that’s why she’s so adamant. 

“i could be doing drugs you know.” 

“you should be doing drugs!” 

well, that answers your question. 

“i can’t wait to see what your child does in the future. you’ve set such high expectations!” 

mimi rolls her eyes. she’s very easily pleased, very outgoing, and filled with an overwhelming well of patience to counteract your stubbornness. 

it’s granted that she almost never wins, that your firmness in your decision always stands at the end of the day, but it doesn’t mitigate her efforts to try. you’re betting that she’s going to give her very stubborn daughter a run for her money in a few years when she’s older. 

“i don’t mean that you should actually do drugs. or maybe i do. some of my other writers love to drink or smoke weed to get through writer’s block. it just a little shift to push you to some new limits.” 

“perfect. i’ll just try to do some ketamine before my next song so that it sounds better.” 

mimi sighs. 

“i’m not telling you to go do horse tranquilizers. i’m stating a very simple fact, that you tend to gravitate towards what is comfortable for you. in your personal life, in your friends, in your songwriting. you’ve found a sound that you work great with, themes that resonate with people. but you’ve been stuck there, right where you know people want you. it wouldn’t hurt to try pushing the limits here and there.” 

you scoff. 

“you sound like a shitty inspirational quote.” 

mimi shakes her head. 

“i often find that stubbornness to approach new things at the end of the day creates a sort of resentment towards anything that stimulates new growth. and keeps you stuck exactly where you are currently. stagnant.” 

you don’t like the evaluation. the sentencing that she’s given you, that she’s been giving you for the past few months. 

that you aren’t going anywhere. 

you not liking it doesn’t make it any less true. but her saying it over and over again doesn’t propel you into doing anything about it either. 

“and what if i fail to do this whole moving thing you’re talking about?” you jest. 

mimi pinches her lips in a line. 

“then it proves to me that you’re just approaching this entire thing wrong. you’re not winning an award, you’re writing a song. it’s not an examination that you’re completing, it’s just something you’re trying to say.” 

you give her a dry smile. 

“and what if no one wants to hear what i have to say?” 

“that’s where you and i will disagree. i fear people are on the edge of their seats waiting for it.” 

you snort. 

“are you not a fan of me sticking it to idiots like jake nicholson and aimee lynch?” 

mimi gives you a smug grin. 

“a huge fan. but i can tell that you’ve got something else under the surface that’s dying to be let out.” 

“i suppose that’ll just have to wait for today.” you respond. 

mimi shrugs. 

“i’ll try again tomorrow.” she affirms. 

you’re not sure why she tries. you’re still going to say no. 

--

sukuna’s manager’s strategy was very simple. all he had to do was save face for a week – a week until the show came out. tell people to watch the premiere on the red carpet, throw in an anecdote about filming here and there, and that was that. 

granted, his job wasn’t exactly hard. the ensemble cast did most of the work, satoru’s loud voice combined with how energetic yuuji is, allowed him to slip through the cracks and make it inside the venue without any unsavory questions about aimee. 

sukuna looks across the room to where the two of them are standing near the bar, glasses of ice in their hand, satoru no doubt flicking his charm and stupid pickup lines at everyone. he understood the strategy – that sukuna having the opportunity to talk created a greater risk for him to say something he shouldn’t – but it just made the event boring for him. 

sukuna hated being on the sidelines. 

quite literally the sidelines, because the table he was currently occupying was pushed against the wall. he would retreat back to the main table in the center when the two of them returned, but judging by how loud they were laughing, it didn’t seem like it was going to be any time soon. 

“excuse me.” 

sukuna’s thrown out of his train of thought by the voice, only to find he’s accompanied by two girls at his side. sukuna inches his glass of soda closer to him, noting the sparky stars gleaming on their eyelids, accompanied with layers of beaded bracelets on their wrists. 

fans. sukuna’s found his in. 

“can i help you?” sukuna asks. 

the two girls look at each other, a nervous laugh escaping their lips, as they squeeze their intertwined hands together. he prays to god they’re not here for aimee. 

“are you ryomen sukuna?” 

sukuna smiles, looping his elbow across the back of the chair, and smiling. there’s no distaste in their voice – so they most likely aren’t. he’s won. 

“sure am. who might you be?” sukuna asks. 

“we’re addison and abigail.” they respond. 

sukuna uses his free hand, gesturing for them to take the free chairs across from him. he watches as they both widen their eyes, stumbling knees hitting the bottom of the table as he readjusts and leans back. 

interviews and networking he wasn’t allowed to do. that much was clear. but talking to fans caused no trouble, and it wasn’t explicitly off limits.

it gave him time to do what he did best. charm people. 

“addison and abigail. to what do i owe the pleasure?” sukuna asks. 

“we don’t want to take up any of your time.” abigail starts. 

“really, we’re sure you’re quite busy. this is a big event and all and you probably have to do interviews and all that.” addison adds. 

sukuna grins. 

“i’ll always make time for you.” 

he watches as their eyes widen, abigail’s lips pinched shut together by the bluntness in his statement, as he lifts his glass and presses it to his lips. 

“i have a question.” sukuna states.

“anything!” addison replies. 

her response is too fast. so fast that sukuna can almost clock that she’s realized that it’s too fast – that she’s embarrassed at how eager she was to respond. he shoots her a kind smile in response, before leaning forward and bracing his forearms against the table. 

“how did the two of you sneak in here? secret boyfriend let you in?” sukuna asks. 

the two of them offer him an awkward laugh, slightly releasing their shoulders, as they lift their hands and very adamantly gesture the opposite. 

“not at all. we got selected to attend the event through the fan program.” abigail responds. 

sukuna smirks. 

“here for me?” sukuna asks. 

the two of them widen their eyes, almost like they’ve been caught in an awkward situation. because they’re very obviously not here for him. 

the fan invites were given for the singers and affiliated studios. and he’d be caught dead before singing live in front of an audience. 

“i’m so sorry. i don’t mean to…” 

sukuna immediately retreats. 

“you do realize that i’m not a singer, right?” sukuna asks. 

“what?” abigail asks. 

“i don’t sing. there’s no way that you could be here for me.” sukuna clarifies. 

the two of them breathe a sigh of relief, abigail giving him a jokingly irritated glare as he shoots the two of them a smile. 

“relax. i’m just pulling your leg. it’s all in good fun. we can take a picture and everything, whatever you want.” sukuna responds. 

the two of them breathe a sigh of relief. 

“really?” she asks. 

sukuna nods. 

“that’s so sweet, thank you so much. we have a friend who’s a really big fan, so we were trying to get her a signed shirt.” 

“a signed shirt it is.” sukuna responds, noting that they reach into their bag with the shirt and marker prepared. 

“oh my god. i thought you were….you were going to be a diva or something.” abigail responds. 

“me? a diva?” sukuna jokes. 

“you wouldn’t believe it. god, some people can be so rude. one time, aimee lynch got us…” 

addison’s quick to respond, shoving her elbow into her side to gesture for her to be quiet. sukuna narrow their eyes at the two of them, before rolling her eyes. 

sukuna, in the split second, debates if he should respond. if it would go against the deal he made – to be quiet, to not cause any noise – because they could go running and post about it on twitter.

he decides against his better judgment, only because it’s potently clear they’ve been terrorized by aimee before. 

“got you kicked out of an event?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah…” addison mumbles. 

“she does that often. it’s a whole load of shit. i’m glad you’re here.” sukuna responds. 

“yeah. we were just really upset because we were actually supposed to meet y/n that day. we had tweeted to her that we got kicked out before we made it to the meet and greet and her team organized a whole like facetime call and sent us merch, but it was super annoying.” abigail responds. 

sukuna nods, only because he knows all too well, that it’s exactly in her character to kick fans out of events. their “desperation” always got on her nerves. 

“well, i hope you get to meet her tonight. she is here, right?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah. she invited us personally since we missed out last time.”

sukuna smiles. 

“that’s sweet. i hope you get to meet her later.” sukuna responds. 

--

--

there’s a patterned knock on the door of your dressing room. two fast, two slow, two fast. it’s accompanied by the door swinging open and the reflection of megumi standing in the mirror with a cup of iced coffee in his hand. 

you shoot him an excited smile, apologetically shooing away your hair and makeup team from the chair, to get up and greet him. 

“coffee? for moi?” you ask, exaggerating every syllable. 

megumi rolls his eyes, placing the cold cup into the palm of your hand, as you shoot him a smile.

megumi hates when you exaggerate the syllables – which is precisely the reason that you do it. you have an inkling that he secretly loves it, because he’s a secret fan of your antics. 

“figured you needed it. you look like a hag.” megumi responses. 

you snort down a laugh, as you take a sip from the overly sweet coffee. 

“hag is a new one. you’ve always had such a way with words, my love.” you joke. 

you return back to your chair, gesturing for him to take the free one at your side, as you reach for your phone and read through the last texts you got from mimi. all confirmations – that your guitar and band have arrived, that you’re all good to go at the end of the hour. 

“is romeo here?” you ask. 

you can see megumi’s irritated expression out of the corner of your eye, accompanied with a pink flush that creeps up his neck. 

“what’s his name again? yuki?” you joke. 

“yuuji.” megumi corrects, his voice almost stern. 

“okay, relax. pipe it down three notches, juliet.” 

megumi lifts his hand, awkwardly rubbing it against the back of his neck, as you drop your phone in your lap and narrow your eyes at him. 

“what did he do today?”

“you don’t care.” megumi mumbles. 

“and that hasn’t stopped you from telling me in the past.” 

everyday, for the past eight months, you received a barrage of texts from megumi. ranging across every emotion in the human bandwidth, but always about the same thing. 

his new co-star. how great his hair look, what text he sent him that morning, how his skin looked perfect in the light. you would nip that type of dialogue from anyone else in the bud. but megumi wasn’t anyone else. 

“but you’re asking. which means you can’t complain, because you basically warranted it out of me.” 

you roll your eyes. 

“yeah, yeah.” 

“he got us matching pins for press this week. they’re like little cartoon versions of us. but he also got one for our other co-star nobara, so it doesn’t really count.” 

you shrug. 

“but he still got you one. so it does count. that’s cute.” you respond.

“but she has one too.” 

“but did he give it to you as a group or individually?” you ask. 

“individually.” megumi responds. 

you smile. 

“exactly. it means something different when it’s individually.” you respond. 

“you’re delusional.” megumi responds. 

you roll your eyes. 

“you could benefit from being a little delusional, drama queen.”  

“and then when we were coming here, i was telling him that you were going to be here and he got super excited. he remembered that i always used to get you coffee before your first show so he actually stopped our car and made sure that i was able to get some from you since you’re performing tonight.” 

you grin. 

“not technically my first show, but i appreciate the effort. I love him already. especially if he’s so passionate about my caffeine addiction.” 

“it’s from his coffee shop that he works at with his brother. they used to work there together when they were younger and like…he was telling me all about it. how the two of them used to work there after school and that the owners were like their second parents. they almost went down under a few years ago but they both had enough acting money so they invested. he was even introducing me to them and shit. like fully introducing me to people he views as family.” 

you nod. 

“wow, juliet. when’s the wedding?” you ask. 

“shut up.” megumi responds. 

“but really, that’s actually very sweet. he seems like a great guy.” 

“he is a great guy. he wants to meet you too, you know?” megumi responds. 

“that would be against your better judgment. i’m going to tell him all about your little crush. and propose marriage on your behalf like you’re my property in the 18th century or something.” you respond. 

“your jokes never get funnier.” megumi deadpans. 

“and yet you’re still here.” 

“his brother is here too. the one who used to date aimee.” 

you widen your eyes. 

“poor guy. it’s probably a blood bath out there for him.” 

“he made it through press unscathed, but they’re telling him to keep a low profile. but yuuji’s all worried because he tends to get erratic and take things into his own hands sometimes.” 

“what are they saying again?” you ask. 

“fans are mad because the report that went out said sukuna dumped her or something.” 

you snort. 

“is that even bad when she was like basically cheating on him the whole time?” you ask. 

“don’t think he knows that.” 

you shake your head. 

“really?” 

megumi shrugs. 

“i get the impression he didn’t care about the relationship too much.” 

you nod. 

“well, then my song won’t hurt his feelings too bad when he finds out they used to date.” 

you push up out of the chair, gesturing to your outfit as megumi gives you an approving nod. you link your arms together, pushing out of the door onto the floor of the venue, and continue your conversation in lowered voices. 

“do you want me to punch jake?” megumi asks.

“and ruin your pretty little baby hands? i would never.” 

megumi rolls his eyes, as the lights dim, and the two of you direct your eyes to the stage. it’s a long introduction, all of the producers and affiliates taking the time to thank everyone for attending. you’re performing at the end of the hour, which gives you enough time to zone this out and focus on the song. 

“our very first performance is from one of our affiliates at dancing lady studios – aimee lynch with guest star jake nicholson.” 

you and megumi widen your eyes as you turn to look at each other, as you all but crush megumi’s arm in your grasp. the two of them walk out onto the stage – and you note that her sparkly silver is almost identical to the outfit you had been wearing on tour for the past few months.

and that jake’s using the guitar that you gifted him on his birthday. 

you know she’s doing it on purpose. that she knows that about you – that you’ll connect dots and draw conclusions – to exactly what she’s trying to do. 

piss you off. 

Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife So don't think it's in the past These kind of wounds they last and they last Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you And time can heal, but this won't So if you come in my way, just don't

Oh, it's so sad to think about the good times You and I

megumi leans down, voice quiet as he whispers in your ear. 

“this is going to do rounds on kids bop.” 

you snort. 

“they would be so lucky.” you respond back. 

'Cause baby, now we got bad blood You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done 'Cause baby, now we got bad blood (hey!) Now we got problems And I don't think we can solve 'em You made a really deep cut And baby, now we got bad blood (hey!)

“did you know they were going to do this?” megumi asks. 

you shake your head. 

“there’s no need to worry. i’m always prepared.” 

--

“unless i’m not mistaken, you didn’t catch any strays tonight. how can one be so lucky?” shoko jokes. 

“we can’t all be the chosen ones.” sukuna responds back. 

“the night is still young. a girl can only dream.” shoko responds. 

sukuna rolls his eyes before smiling at her and trying to shake shoko’s grasp off of him, as he turns his attention back to the stage. with the event in full swing, he was allowed to return to the central table, only because the group of them around him to keep track of him. 

shoyo’s doing, he was sure. 

but he’s sure that shoyo was somewhere fast asleep in his bed right now, having the most restful nap he’s taken in months. sukuna’s inclined that he’ll feel the same way tonight when he goes to bed, with the promise of no scolding from his team since he did, in fact, not catch aimee’s wrath tonight. 

it was attributed to someone else tonight. he’s not exactly sure who, but at this point, all he can do is be thankful that it wasn't him. 

“who were you talking to earlier?” shoko asks. 

“fans who got invited to the event.” sukuna responds. 

“poor girls. they got assaulted by the smell of your cologne and had to lose brain cells by talking to you?” shoko jokes. 

sukuna scoffs. 

“that already happened when you walked into the room. don’t kid yourself, ieiri.” 

“you should learn some manners. is that any way to talk to a woman?” shoko asks. 

“can you guys shut the fuck up?” 

shoko and sukuna turn their heads to the left to find satoru standing there, eyes razor focused and glued to the stage. 

“what stick is up your ass?” shoko asks. 

“it’s y/n’s turn to perform.” satoru seethes. 

shoko snorts. 

“don’t tell me that your dream girl is in attendance? how are you even standing straight right now?” shoko asks. 

“pure adrenaline, bitch.” satoru responds. 

sukuna and shoko widen their eyes as they share a look – a quiet communication that satoru’s being more erratic than normal and to leave him be – as they turn their attention back to the stage. 

the bright lights shine red on the stage as the visuals go up, a twisting and turning illusion against the back screen. there’s a rising platform in the center and all he gets a glimpse of are sparkly star tights. 

La-da-da-da, da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da, da-da-da

If I told you how much I think about her You'd think I was in love And if you knew how much I looked at her pictures You would think we're best friends

'Cause I know her star sign, I know her blood type I've seen every movie she's been in and, oh god, she's beautiful And I know you loved her, and I know I'm butthurt But I can't help it, no, I can't help it

I'm so obsessed with your ex (uh-huh) I know she's been asleep on my side of your bed And I can feel it I'm starin' at her like I wanna get hurt And I remember every detail you have ever told me So be careful, baby

I'm so obsessed with your ex (ah) Yeah, I'm so obsessed with your ex (ah) La-da-da-da, da-da-da

sukuna can feel his heart pounding in his throat. he grabs yuuji by the shoulder, yanking him close from the fabric of his shirt, and whispers. 

“who is that?” 

“were you born under a rock? that’s y/n.” 

sukuna watches as you skip around the stage, bathed in the dark red lights surrounding the stage and the visuals with you in the background. 

maybe sukuna was born under a rock. he was one thousand percent sure that he would remember something like this. 

“the guy that was up with aimee earlier. she’s jake’s ex-girlfriend. they were singing about her.” yuuji whispers. 

“is she singing about aimee?” sukuna asks. 

yuuji nods. 

“they have some weird twisted history. especially with jake, i think. him and aimee have had eyes for each other since like…forever.” 

he watches as you walk over to the left side of the stage, crouching down into the view of the camera and right across from where jake and aimee are sitting, irritated looks painted on their faces. 

sukuna notes that you're looking right at them. full blown, direct eye contact.

Is she friends with your friends? Does she give great head?  Do you think about her? No, I'm fine, it doesn't matter, tell me Is she easy-going? Never controlling? Well-traveled? Well-read? Oh god, she makes me so upset

I'm so obsessed with your ex (ah) She's been asleep on my side in your bed (ah, whoa) I'm so obsessed with your ex (god, she makes me so upset, ah) I'm so obsessed with your, with your ex

sukuna’s frustration compounds again. 

because he can’t simply understand how he’s the one getting publicly punished, when aimee’s been in love with some other guy the entire time. and that knowing her, she most definitely leaked the news about how she was blindsided on purpose, just to ruin his career. 

“if i was y/n, i’d just punch them both in the face. then start dating one of her boyfriends or something.” shoko states.

the idea comes to sukuna almost instantly. and he makes a mental note to apologize to shoyo later.  

--

when you get off the stage and retreat back to your table near the wall, you quickly scan through your texts from mimi. 

[mimi]: Three versions slated for release. Could potentially block you getting the #1 spot. 

[mimi]: Fingers crossed, but things are faring over well. People love the song.  

[mimi]: Obviously. 

you set the phone face down at the table and sink down into your chair. you don’t even get a second to think because before you know it, someone’s slid into the chair right across from you, hunched forward into your space over the small chair. 

pink hair, arms littered with tattoos. there was something oddly familiar about him. 

“you’re just the girl i wanted to see.” he states. 

you narrow your eyes at him. you’re unsure which one he is. producers trying to poach for their studio, people looking to network, or the perverts that somehow get let into events like this. 

“is that right?” you ask, tone dry. 

the guy offers you an over-eager nod, accompanied with a glimmering smirk. 

he’s attractive and you can tell from the look on his face that he knows it. for some reason, you’re almost positive that he makes sure of it. toned muscles, hair so perfect that it has to be styled. to the point where it feels calculated.

you lean forward, placing your cheek in the palm of your hand as you smile right back at him. he leans forward almost immediately. it was almost too easy. 

“i don’t think we’ve ever met before. i’d think i’d remember that.” you respond. 

“only in my dreams.” 

you fight the urge to scoff. you’re sure that one worked out well for him in the past. It's the only reason someone would say something so corny and mean it.

you hold your hand out to him, noting that he extends the handshake for far too long. 

“y/n.”

“ryomen sukuna.” 

that’s where you knew him from. this was megumi’s co-star. romeo’s brother. 

“from jujutsu kaisen, right?” you ask. 

sukuna gives you a glimmering grin. you note that he has a dimple on the left side. 

“know everything about me, don’t you?” 

you snort. 

“sure do. you’ve got me all figured out, sweetheart.” you deadpan. 

sukuna leans back, narrowing his eyes at the comment. you can tell that he’s rethinking what to say next. 

“i know about the show because of megumi.” you clarify. 

“we go way back.” sukuna responds. 

you lean back against the chair and cross your arms over your chest. you've got him right where you want him.

“really?” you ask. 

sukuna nods. 

“when did you meet him?” 

“elementary school. he was always the quiet type.” 

sukuna pauses. 

“speaking of types, what’s yours?” 

you fight the urge to laugh. there was no way he could truly be this forward. but then again, you figure his deep urge to get back at aimee right now was probably inhibiting his good judgement at the current moment. 

“why do you ask?” 

“you’re a smart girl. i know you can figure it out.” 

you take the bait. 

“i’ll give it a shot.” you respond. 

“that’s my girl.” 

you smile before leaning forward to make sure that he hears you properly. 

“your name is ryomen sukuna. indie actor for the most part, but you recently got signed on as part of the lead ensemble for mappa’s new show, jujutsu kaisen. you’ve gotten pretty far considering all things, which i’m sure comes as a byproduct of the whole charm bit that you do and from what i’ve heard, some pretty decent acting. and while you’ve done mostly well, you made the brutal mistake of becoming a social pariah by dancing with the tabloid devil, aimee lynch. you’ve ended up on their bad side and now, in some weird type of way – i’ll admit, i’m not exactly sure how – are trying to elicit my help to get you back in people’s good graces. by lying, of course.” 

you watch as sukuna’s eyes widen, before he leans back, his cheeks the slightest shade of pink as he swallows hard. and you give him your sincerest smile before pulling out your phone and digging for the photo in your favorites. 

of you and megumi in grade school, standing hand in hand. 

“i think i’d remember if the human version of pinkie pie from my little pony was running around my elementary school, sukuna.” you state. 

and shockingly enough, he only gives you a smile in response – like he’s almost delighted by the fact that what you've just read caught him in a lie– as he sticks his tongue in the side of his cheek and makes a clicking sound. 

“got me all figured out, don’t you dollface?” 

“you’re painfully obvious, like most men. i’ll see you around, sukuna.” you respond, as you turn on your heel to walk away. 

but he’s almost too fast with it, slithering his hand down from your elbow to your wrist, pulling slightly to beckon you to turn back. and he gives you an…a more earnest smile this time as he raises your knuckles to his lips, and leaves a kiss in between the pointer in the middle. 

“that’s a promise, sweetheart.” 

--

--

next part linked here

an: hi!!!! welcome back to the dream girl universe - I thank you for your patience <3 i'll be using the old dream girl taglist, but let me know if you would like to be taken off!!!

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[adventuringblind]

A Little Lost

Liam Lawson x Reader x Oscar Piastri x Logan Sargeant

Genre: fluff and hurt/comfort

Summary: With her ADHD driving her mind into a whirlwind, she ends up slipping in public and unable to find the one person she needs. Luckily Oscar and Logan are there to help.

Warnings: non-sexual age play, agere/age-regression, panic attacks, implied trauma, non-sexual use of daddy

Notes: I needed this for myself, honestly!! I hope the requester finds comfort in it like I did!

Side note: age-regression is NOT a kink. If you're going to request it, please don't make it a smut request. It gives ya girl mixed signals. AGEPLAY is a kink and has dd/lg dynamics. Please remember this when requesting... I'm begging T_T

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Everything is overwhelming at the moment. He thoughts are running in a million different directions. The noise and bustle of the paddock is pulling Her every which way.

She needs Liam. Without a shadow of a doubt, she needs him right this second.

Her mental state is dancing between headspaces. Her little self is attempting to break free of the confines she's put the girl in. To young and to alone to be out in this environment.

The alphatauri garage feels so far away. It's an endless walk she's been attempting to make for what feels like hours now. Liam, she just needs to get to him.

Panic rises every time someone bumps into her. She squeaks out a sorry, only to be met with annoyed grunts. She needs her daddy to make it better. No - Liam - she needs Liam.

The catalyst is someone shoving her away and complaining that she should pay more attention. She is paying attention. Her brain just has thirty tabs open, three of them have commercials playing, another is driving her senses wild, and where the heck is her da- Liam?!

The shove sends her tumbling to the ground. Her elbow hits the hard ground on impact. It's bleeding, and she's officially offline.

Her little self takes over, tears welling in her eyes as she hides around the corner and tugs at her hair. A desperate attempt to settle the whirlwind of her thoughts.

She needs her daddy.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Logan and Oscar are animatedly chatting about the race as they walk through the dwindling crowd. Liam had texted about a longer debrief and had asked them to check up on his girlfriend since she wasn't answering her phone.

They'd been an item the last couple of years like Oscar and Logan have. It's an interesting and often tense dynamic. The four of them are all extremely close, but neither of the couples have openly talked about any kind of open relationship.

Oscar and Logan have. It's often a source of interesting fantasies and warm fuzzy feelings. They say nothing, though. Scared of losing their closest friends in the pursuit of something mildly taboo still.

Logan is lost in his thoughts when Oscar stops suddenly. He hushes him and listens intently. It's then that Logan catches the muffled sobs.

They take off in the direction of the crying. Neither of them are ones to let somebody suffer when they can help it.

They turn the corner, and there sits their original target. She curled up with hair in every direction, and her fingers rake through it in a violent manner.

Logan approaches her like she's a wounded animal. He's not at all hurt when she curls farther into her corner.

"Osc, we're gonna need to call Liam."

"Already on it!"

She perks up at hearing Liam's name. Eyes wide and teary, but at least she doesn't look scared of the Logan for the moment. "Daddy? Are callin' daddy?"

Oh. Oh.

She's - how did they put it? - regressed, in age. They talked about it in passing but never elaborated. Logan and Oscar had never bothered to look into it. They were protective over it and they wanted to respect that.

He's regretting that decision just a tad now. He might be more prepared on what to do if he'd bothered to figure out what it is that happens to her.

The obvious thing is that she's vulnerable and scared. "Yeah, we're calling him." He smiles warmly at her. "Can you tell me what happened? Why you're so sad?" He keeps his tone calm to hopefully ease her into a less anxious state.

She untucks herself and shows Logan her red and bleeding elbow. "Was pushed."

It's not a terrible scrape, not one to be worried about, but it is getting on all her clothes. He'll have to ask about the pushing later.

Oscar comes back and sighs in annoyance. "He said another thirty minutes at least of debrief. I feel bad for worrying him now."

Oscar sees where the two are crouched and throws Logan a confused look. "Is everything alright?"

"Well, I think someone needs a band-aid for her elbow and somewhere to wait for daddy." Logan tries to communicate that there is more going on here. Oscar looks between the two, and then his face lights up in some kind realization.

"Lando already left for the day, so my room should be safe. And I know he has crayon band-aids in his room."

She considers the idea. Carefully studying both of their faces for some hint of malicious intent. "Daddy said no strangers."

Logan exaggerates a pondering face. "Are me and Osc strangers? I thought we were best friends!"

She shakes her head yes and moves closer to the American. A reassurance that she does consider him a friend. "More then friend!" She leans up to Logan and motions to lend his ear so she can whisper into it. "Daddy says loves." She giggles, and Logan has to use all his strength not to look dumbfounded at the confession.

Oscar and Logan wrangle her the back way to the McLaren motor home. Their success in going mostly unnoticed has both males breathing in relief as they step into the saftey of Oscar's room.

The Aussie ducks out to grab the band-aid from his teammates' room, and Logan is left to sit with the girl currently looking confused and intrigued. She hesitantly grabs the stuffed koala sitting on the shelf. The one Logan had gotten for him as a joke before they started dating.

"Has name?" Her fingers stroke the soft fluff of the toy.

"I'm not sure. Should we ask Osc when he gets back?" She nods once, then comes and sits on the couch with him. The stuffed koala cradled in her arms like it's the most precious thing she's ever seen.

Logan is still trying to comprehend what she meant earlier. Is it just her small brain misinterpreting something Liam said? Or is this an honest confession that she doesn't currently understand the implications of? He doesn't want to get his hopes up and settles on the second option for now.

Oscar sneaks back in the door and starts unwrapping the bangade. It is, in fact, shaped like a red crayon. Her eyes light up even as he washes the cut and places the band-aid on it.

"There we go, all better now." Oscar smiles at her as she hugs his koala.

"Thank you."

She's completely entranced in the stuffed toy again. Logan taps her on the nose to get her attention. "Did you want to ask Osc your question?"

She makes an 'o' shape with her mouth. "Does koala have a name?" She looks up at him with expectant eyes.

Oscar considers. "Hmmm, I don't think he does. Would you like to give him one?"

She takes careful consideration, weighing all the possible options. "Koko."

"Love it."

"Very creative!"

Her expression changes into something sad. Her eyes once again glassy like before. "Will daddy like?" She curls up in Logans lap with the toy.

"Yeah, he'll love it. Certainly not as much as he loves you."

She hums and closes her eyes. It's adorable and peaceful. "Do you think Liam might let us do this with her again?"

"If he doesn't kill us first. Speaking of, I should let him know where we are."

♡♡♡♡♡

Liam likes to think he's relatively quick. He runs often enough and has good stamina.

This is the fastest he's ever moved in his entire life. He grabs all their stuff with a speed that shocks both Daniel and Yuki.

"What's got you in a hurry, mate?"

"Just eager to see my girl, is all."

Daniel shoots him a wink. "Have a good time!" Liam can only laugh nervously in response. It's certainly not the good time he's thinking of. No, he'd promised her a nice dinner tonight.

Now he's thinking he might have to shift plans. Which - he's not upset about. Liam loves when she's in headspace because it gives him an excuse to do things he wouldn't normally. As in, she's obsessed with cars, and he gets to spend time building the most intricate tracks with household items, blocks, and an ungodly amount of Legos that they have at home. She's always sad when they have to leave them for long periods of time, but he brings a portion with just in case.

He makes for the McLaren garage and is greeted by Oscar out front. It's odd, knowing that their secret is out and yet the Aussie is looking at him affectionately.

They make light conversation while they venture into the building. It feels normal still, nothing to awkward aside from the fact Liam goes on rabbit trails every ten seconds. It's the reason Oscar knows how to handle Lando and his chaotic communication tactics.

Liam mentally slaps himself. Now is not the time to be drooling over his friend's stability and emotional intelligence. He should really just confess. They'd talked about it, they both want it, but that could result in rejection.

Oscar opens the door and slips inside. Liam takes a second to observe the scene in front of him. His girl, happily laying her head in Logan's lap rambling about the koala in her hands.

"Look who I found!" Oscar gestures to Liam. Her head perks up and she scrambles off the couch, slipping to the floor before throwing herself at Liam.

"Hi, love bug." Liam attempts to get on the floor without falling as she clings to him. He fails miserably as the topple over. "Were you good for Oscar and Logan?" She hums something into his chest that he can't decipher.

"She was an angel, honestly." Logan leans forward on the couch. It looks like he's contemplating something, shooting stead looks at Oscar.

With effort, Liam finally gets them situated on the floor. "Do you know what might have triggered this?"

"She scraped her elbow, was that it maybe?"

Liam ponders the suggestion. His eyes find the crayon band-aid that wasn't there the last time he saw her. He sighs, hopefully she was just overwhelmed, and this wasn't an altercation of some kind. "She's struggled with - uh, being shoved around - I guess. You know, home life things."

"Maybe she was shoved and fell which caused the panic attack." Oscar eyes them sadly.

"Well, you two feel up to helping us get out of here?"

♡♡♡♡♡

Oscar doesn't understand how Liam makes this look normal. HAs this been going on under their noses this whole time? If only he could go back in time, rewind a bit and do some research. He and logan could help out if they wanted.

She was falling asleep in the car and still looks like she might clock out in the elevator. Still, Oscar can't help imagining the four of them together, like this.

Liam twirls her around as they walk until she almost falls over. She falls into him, laughing and smiling, the injury from earlier forgotten about.

Their space is comfortable and lived in. The two even slip into a routine, pulling out food for dinner. He whispers something to her, and she skitters off.

They pull chairs out from around the small table. Liam offers them water and something to eat. "So, about... this."

"Which this? The four of us or her specifically?" Logan raises an eyebrow.

"Both."

The girl returns and climbs into Liam's lap clutching a notebook. She flips open to a page and excitedly hands it to Liam to hand to the two across the table.

Oscar isn't sure whether to laugh or melt, so he mixes the two together. The pages are lined with drawings of the four of them. "She's quite the artist."

"You've no idea. Our fridge is covered in artwork." Liam chuckles a bit and wraps his arms around her.

"Told you! More than friends!"

"Do you know what that means, love bug?"

"Three people to cuddle!"

Oscar really does laugh this time. "Well, you're not wrong!" He shoot a look to Logan.

"Count us in." The American smile.

Liam sighs heavily in disappointment. It's a confusing reaction that Oscar wasn't expecting. "She's going to murder me later for not having this talk when she's big."

"Can't be mad if you make me dessert!" A devilish grin spreads across her cheeks.

"Only this once."

"You said that last time."

[amourtoken]

Couldnt get this thought out of my mind last night so time to force it upon yall (also I love jack sm but he's just the unfortunate loser in this situation forgive me ill redeem him soon 💀)

Cw for cheating, mentions of (legal) age gaps, questionable dynamics, things of that nature. If it makes you uncomfortable don't read pls. Also maybe another cw for exhibitionism if you squint rlly hard.

Thinkin about dating Jack, you've been together for a little while and end up going with him on a family vacation cause he'd hate to go and not invite you. Unfortunately things weren't really going to plan when you got there.

You thought you'd get a little more attention from Jack than you're getting and you realize it's a family event but it damn near feels like he's actively avoiding you. Why invite you if he's not gonna spend any time with you yknow? Watching him have fun with his brothers is nice but you'd also like to participate or at least have him extend an offer for you to join.

If he's not out on the lake with his siblings he's on his phone, the only time you really get some one on one with him has been in your shared room. The trip itself is a week long and you've already been here 3 days, Jack's kissed you twice? God forbid you try and initiate anything sexual like usual between the two of you cause then he's brushing you off saying he's tired or he'll put in the bare minimum effort just to get himself off but not you. What the fuck has gotten into him? He's never like this.

By day 4 you're pretty miserable, which is unfortunate because this trip is so nice. You've gotten to know his parents a bit better and the views are wonderful. You really don't want to make it obvious to anyone that you're less than ecstatic to be there but unfortunately for you even a minor change in your demeanor was picked up on by the oldest hughes sibling.

Quinn's had his eye on you since Jack first introduced you to the family months ago but he'd tried to ignore that itch in the back of his brain every time he thought of you. Until now. He's noticed everything going on between you and his brother, and as much as he loves him he knows he could treat you better, he always has. There have been plenty of nights he's scrolled through your socials just to find some content to occupy his mind when he gets off, he hates that he can't seem to shake his little obsession but maybe knowing it's so wrong makes it that much better.

You've noticed some strange behavior in passing but didn't think twice about it really. Quinn's eyes always lingered whenever you'd pass him on your way to Jack's room, and he always made sure to acknowledge you whenever he saw you. He'd ask about your day, how you've been feeling, if you needed anything, you figured he was always just being nice to his possible future sister-in-law but it extended much further than that.

Quinn's resolve finally shattered after he happened to see you sitting outside on the deck of the house overlooking the lake by yourself one evening. He really tried to just walk past the sliding glass doors and leave you be but he couldn't live with himself if he did. Your feelings might not be priority to his brother but now is his chance to show you what you're missing.

"Y'know I love my brother too but, he's a fucking idiot for not treating you like a fuckin' princess."

Quinn's presence didn't surprise you at first but his comment pulled you out of your spiral of negative thoughts. You heard him, but you're sure you didn't hear him correctly.

"He needs to grow up if he wants to keep you"

Quinn leaned against the railing of the deck, facing you. His hands were in the pocket of his hoodie and he was acting like this was some nonchalant conversation, as if he wasn't implying something that was far from innocent. Thank God it was pretty much dark out so the flush on your cheeks wasn't too prominent. You tried to defend Jack at first, saying he's just preoccupied with other things and you're okay with not coming first cause he's a busy guy but Quinn quickly cut you off.

"If I had a pretty little thing like you around, you couldn't pay me to pay attention to anything else. My girl is my priority and I'd make sure she never ever wonders what comes first in my life. Don't defend him and devalue yourself."

He almost seemed offended, but complimented you in the same breath. You hated that butterflies swarmed in your chest replaying the sound of Quinn calling you pretty in your mind. This whole situation felt relatively surreal, just the two of you outside while everyone else was either occupied or asleep inside (including your boyfriend, his brother.) The sound of cicadas flooded the silence between the two of you thankfully but Quinn couldn't keep his thoughts to himself for very long anyway.

"Bet he doesn't even fuck you right. I'm more experienced, I know what you need, how to make you feel good. You wouldn't even have to lift a finger and I'd have you so dumb on my dick you couldn't see straight."

His voice lowered, eyes focused on your expression. Quinn standing in front of you while you sat made him look so much larger too, intimidating almost. The butterflies turned into an uncomfortable ache between your legs and heat in your belly, you shouldn't be doing this. The only thing separating you two and your unsuspecting boyfriend is a set of sliding glass doors and large windows, if anyone passed by they could clearly see you two outside and it made you dizzy. This felt very wrong but you you couldnt lie and say you didnt want him to show you how you should really be feeling in a relationship.

"Come on sweetheart I know you want this. I'll make up for everything you missed out on these last few days, just trust me. Or we can go inside and pretend we never had this conversation. Your call."

Quinn was fucking aching, your pretty doe eyed expression looking up at him from your spot on the deck's floor went straight to his cock. He knew this was an awful idea but he could pull Jack's head out of his ass and finally feel you around his cock, two birds one stone. After a few minutes of silence he turned to head back inside but you stopped him with a soft 'please' which drew a rough groan from his chest as he turned around. That's all he needed to hear from you.

You definitely didn't expect this evening to turn out this way, snuck into Quinn's room he was sharing with Luke. Thankfully he was busy with Jack in your room for the time being and the sound of their multi-player game was loud enough to drown out your whines and cries of a name that absolutely wasn't your boyfriend's. You two didn't have much time and unfortunately Quinn couldn't unravel you the way he really wanted, If he had it his way he'd draw this out for hours. He doesn't want it to be anything like what you've had already, if he had more time or privacy he'd have you in every position he can think of. For now, bending you over and burying your face in the pillows to muffle your sounds has to work.

Quinn thought you were beautiful dressed but naked? You were fucking ethereal. Your back arched so perfectly for him and the way your pussy gripped his cock when he drew his hips back made his head spin. He's usually collected and in perfect control during these moments but something about you and knowing your boyfriend was less than 10 feet away made it that much better. Quinn slid a hand down the curve of your spine and laced his fingers in your hair, dragging your back up to press to his chest while he bullied your insides. His free hand covered your mouth to keep your pathetic sounds to a minimum and his lips were right next to your ear making it easy for him to run his mouth about how filthy the situation is and everything he'd love to do to you.

"Gotta keep it down for me, doll- fuck- I know. I know, feels good yeah? Such a good girl takin' my cock so well- god-"

"You're so tight, fuck...made for me- all fuckin' mine, yeah? Who's pussy is this, huh? Wanna hear you say my name-"

"Jack's missin' out- should show him how to really make you feel good- shit..."

You were fighting to keep your eyes from rolling back but you failed, Quinn was so deep inside you it left a little bulge right below your navel every time he thrust forward and knowing he filled you up so good drove him insane. You really were made just for him weren't you?

"Promise you'll stay quiet if I move my hand? Fuck- It's worth it, baby, promise."

You wanted to promise but all you could do was nod enthusiastically and try your hardest to muffle the sounds threatening to escape your throat. Quinn's hand slid down your torso and ended between your legs, circling your clit and making your legs feel like jelly. You accidentally yelped his name and he hissed at the feeling of you clenching around his cock, catching his breath before reprimanding you.

"You gotta stay quiet unless you want an audience, angel- want me to stop? No? You can keep quiet for me then yeah?"

His tone was strained as he picked up his pace, your nails sunk into his arm trying to hold yourself up while he ruts into you but it wasn't helping much. The coil in your belly felt horribly close to unwinding and you frantically whimpered Quinn's name over and over along with a strand of pleas as quietly as you could. Your broken voice made his dick twitch inside you, he really had you that fucked up? He knew you were close but wanted to savor every second he could.

"Shh baby I know- think you can hold on for me, just a lil longer?"

His thrusts were faltering a bit as he reached his edge but he wasn't gonna be satisfied unless you came together. You nodded again, shaking like a leaf in his hold while held you up. The hand between your legs sped up until your vision was blurry with tears and you couldn't take it anymore, whimpering Quinn's name like a mantra and seeing stars as you came undone around him. You could barely make out his quiet praise at your ear while you fought to stay fully conscious in the moment, fuzzy black spots overtaking your vision following the electric current Seeping through your veins.

"Fuck- fuck that's it- good girl. Cum for me- shit you're doing so good baby, feels so fuckin' good"

"God I'm gonna make you fuckin' mine. He doesn't deserve you- this dick feels so much better doesn't it, huh?"

Quinn followed shortly after you, spurred by the feeling of your walls pulsing around him. He tried to keep you upright during all of this but opted to hook your arms behind your back and press your face into the sheets again while he emptied himself into you in thick ropes. As much as he'd love to bask in the comforting feeling of you cockwarming him he didn't have the pleasure, pulling out of you with a wince as Luke tried to open the locked door having no clue about the scene on the other side. Your heart tripped over itself in your chest as you scrambled to stand on shaking legs and find your clothes but you were so out of it you could barely manage. Quinn tossed you a shirt and you quickly pulled it over your head, it was well too big for you but at least it covered everything it needed to, it smelled just like him too. You'd have to find a way to explain later.

"Give me a sec- fuck"

Quinn knew this looked bad but he couldn't just lock Luke out forever, you two shared a look before he pulled his shirt back on and opened the door. You slid past Luke without a word, head tucked like a guilty puppy and headed back towards your shared room with Jack, cringing at the feel of Quinn's cum dripping down your bare thigh. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel some pride in knowing you'd be going back to your boyfriend dizzy off the high he inflicted on you but that's a thought for later. Luke stared at his brother dumbfounded by the entire situation.

"Really?"

[thebestusernamepossible]

You know I keep seeing interpretations of possible post-canon Loop integrating into the party. And like how they would interact with said party, but like I feel like there is one aspect of the dynamic people seem to miss out on- which is a shame because it’s one of the most interesting to me.

From the parties perspective Loop is a ‘star’ that Sif met when he was stuck in a Time-Loop. So that means the party is aware that Loop was also stuck in said time-loop. I want to see the party trying to figure out how to help and accommodate Loop’s Time-Loop trauma, because I know this would drive Loop insane. Like imagine alternate versions of the friends you’ve seen die over and over (who Loop definitely feels they’ve failed) and trying to accommodate you because they think you’re traumatised from a COMPLETELY SEPARATE time-loop. I’d simply go insane actually.

Not to mention Loop would probably grind the parties gears because they would act like they always know what’s best for Siffrin and the party in general. And like- yes they know Sif better than anyone, but from the parties perspective they’re someone who knew Sif for something equilvlant to like 7ish months at most. And they just stroll ina js act like they know what’s best for them, AND the party. And loop is condescending even when they don’t mean to be, so double whammy. But then again Loop and Sif (as far as the party know) we’re stuck in a time loop with only each other for that long. So Loop is now reluctantly the Siffrin expert, which would cause some jealousy from people who have been trying and only somewhat succeeding at getting Sif to open up. Because from their perspective Loop just gets all of Sifs secrets and gets to know everything about them, assumedly because Sif TOLD them everything. (Haha imagine Sif communicating). I think they’d be a bit jealous even if they felt bad about it.

Not to mention the miscommunication of it all- from the parties perspective they have a gap in their memories from a massive amount of time that only Siffrin and a (albeit helpful) stranger. The same stranger who both helped you save your friend, but seems to be in some kind of toxic situationship(?) with said friend, AND acts awkward as hell around you. There are so many conclusions to grab from that, and I don’t think that ‘completely separate Timeloop in an alternate dimension where stranger is also your friend’ is what they’ll come up with. Even smart gal Odile needs some actual information to draw a conclusion.

The most obvious conclusion would obviously be ‘Loop is a seprate person Siffrin grew close to due to the fact they were the only ones who remebered being in a timeloop’ and ‘Loop may have done something to/been wronged by the party in the Loops’.

Honestly you only need Loop referencing them not being a star in the past one time for the entire party to immediately conclude ‘holy shit, Loop also had some kind of wish gone wrong™️ that changed their entire body and made them be stuck to a tree woth only Sif for company for months’

Which isn’t WRONG per-say, but I just think we as a fandom should get more creative with Loop-Party assumptions when talking relationships.

Especially Loop-Isabeau, I want him assuming he said something really mean to them or something during a loop. The Situationship jealously I see a lot is fun too, but I think Isa trying very hard to be nice and make up for whatever he ‘did’ would make Loop have a fucking panick attack out of guilt. I just think Loop should be in the torcher nexus here.

Also! Loop-party strain! I think that the party would have mixed feelings in loop! Because they don’t know that’s Sif, so it’s just looks like to them that Loop so some stranger being unfair to Sif and what they went through (Loop screams). And since is inevitably going to be a bit mean to the party on account of being unwell, and teh fact they don’t really have the advantage of the party knowing and loving them previously. I think the initial relationships are strained, and honestly Loop is probably self sabotaging too. Testing boundaries to see how ‘unlovable’ they can be before they are thrown out. And while the party eventually grow to look past Loos hard edges and grow to love them, I think initially there is some fights and tension. Loop has the ammunition and almost wants to be proven right in their assumption they’re unlovable. But I think the party will realise that they are just like Sif was when they had THEIR metal break down and will see how Sif gets better and opens up (even if just being more expressive) with Loop around. So I think they’ll grow to like loop as their own person! But it takes time

Also Loop and Sif informing the party of each other individual triggers and keeping each other accountable (while also trying to work off being the most toxic co-dependant ass relationship ever)

[purple-star-eyes]

QnA with Viv, Erika and Amir (Wednesday, 31st January 2024)

(1 day before the Season 1 finale)

Who would be the better dad?

>Lucifer cuz his heart is in the right place.

Alastor wanted to get under Luci's skin, which is where the Dad rivalry came from.

Alastor is canonically aro/ace.

Said in a livestream by his voiceactor Amir Talai but Viv didn't deny it.

"It didn't come up in the show yet obviously."

Amir Talai owns an "Oh deer" cup a fan made for him

Concerning Fantheories: A lot of people have gotten a lot of things right.

Viv tries to avoid it, but she's excited to see how exact people get it. Apparently quite a few have figured it out to the T.

When Viv first made the characters she changed a lot of stories around, case and point Vaggie's story changed.

Viv laughed when she saw the HB theory that Wally Wackford is a secret form of Mammon.

>clearly false, fun but not true according to Viv, debunked in real time

Viv's brother works at A24 and loves trolling fans with theories like "Charlie dies in ep.4" (false obviously)

Amir said Alastor has a tail. Viv doesnt confirm or deny it.

Viv: "The tail is not relevant."

-> Might be answered later, since he'd have to be without the coat

Erika likes that Charlie has actual realists around her keeping her grounded.

(Like Angel in ep.4)

Charlie's view is very simplistic on redemption.

The point of the show is to explore that the grey area and redemption are very complicated

(Charlie's arc)

Mimzie is a relieable narator when it comes to Alastor.

But his backstory will come up in future episodes.

There *HAS TO BE* someone that scares Alastor according to Amir.

"We haven't even scratched the surface with Alastor." According to Viv.

Why does Alastor keep Nifty around?

-> Will be explored in the next episodes.

He is very fond of her.

They can connect due to "they both dont care about anything"

How tall is Lucifer-> 5'2 (as per the definitiom of shortking) and Charlie is a foot taller than him. (The hat adds a lot)

The hat is a concious choice of Luci to make up for his height.

"He's not concerned with fashion. Just his height."

The other sins are very big, Viv loves that Luci is the tiniest one of the sins.

Charlie is 6ft

Valentino is 10ft

Angel is 8ft

Alastor is around Charlie's height

Erika's favourite V is Vox due to his voice. She might never love Valentino (he makes her mad).

Amir refused to comment who his favourite V is.

Is there more to the beef between Alastor and Vox?

-> they hate each other, Vox is jealous

Alastor enjoys Vox like a rug (Vox exists and he can walk all over him.)

Pretty simple and nice dynamic but nothing else.

Alastor thinks Vox is "inconsequencial".

Viv thinks Alastor is Chaotic Neutral.

(Tho she's not too familiar with the categories)

Amir says it's hard to say without giving anything away, regarding what his alignment is.

It was hard to record in 2021 due to having to record sessions and duets alone in the booths, according to Amir.

Erika felt a lot of pressure during the first 2 Episodes, because she knows how long people waited for it.

Brandon will help write Eps in Helluva Boss, but works a mile a minute so he will come in and go "Oh I remember this one" :)

Someone dies in Hazbin.

"You can sleep tonight if you think it's Angel Dust"

Both said by Vivzie. So she basically confirmed that Angel will (probably) NOT die.

She did say it was "going to be obvious" who it would be.

Season 2 is in production.

[justanapplenothinghere]

MEPHONE4 (PERSONALISED ) CHARACTER ANALYSIS.

I was debating whether to post this after the whole movie was finished however, due to the recent episode I am really scared of all you coming after me because this character is a heavy kin. Please bear that in mind. This work has taken me months to type and analyse. I didn't do everything due to how long this post would end up being. So just the major points were discussed.

Mephone4’s generalised overview:

MePhone4 is one of the main characters in Inanimate Insanity, a popular YouTube object show created by AnimationEpic. As a sentient smartphone, MePhone4 serves as the host of the competition, a role that places him in a position of authority and power over the contestants. His character is defined by a mix of ambition, arrogance, and emotional complexity, which is what makes him one of the more dynamic characters in the series. From a first glance, when watching, some may view him as just a rude and arrogant host with no mental well being of concern for his contestants.

Whilst that might be somewhat true from the start of early episodes into Season 1, he progressively begins to change his character through the course of the other two seasons.As shown for example in Season 3 his attitude begins to change, from a distance the show makes it obvious to us that he DOES CARE about his contestants, just has a hard time expressing such emotions.His character is complex, especially as the series progresses, revealing deeper layers of psychological trauma and emotional conflict.

Mephone4’s background (TW: mentions of abuse/manipulation. As a victim myself of these, this part maybe very detailed.):

MePhone4 was created by the character Steve Cobs (a parody of Steve Jobs), who represents a father figure to him. However, the relationship between MePhone4 and Steve Cobs is strained and toxic. Cobs is demanding and controlling, treating MePhone4 as nothing more than a tool for his own ambitions.The trauma begins with MePhone4's creation, where he is given life, his identity is defined entirely by his purpose to serve others (In other words just Cobs and the Meeple company alone).This lack of agency and the constant pressure to meet Cobs' expectations contributes significantly to MePhone4's psychological issues.

Cobs created MePhone4 with a "highly-advanced emotion emulator," allowing him to experience emotions deeply, unlike other Meeple products. However, instead of focusing on the tasks assigned to him by Cobs, MePhone4 became enamoured with reality TV, which led to disappointment and tension between them. This foundational conflict likely left MePhone4 feeling inadequate and rejected, contributing to his later insecurities and anxieties. His love for competition and showmanship can be seen as a coping mechanism—a way to channel his emotional energy into something he enjoys and excels at, perhaps in an attempt to gain the approval he never received from Cobs.

Most evident in his anxiety and insecurity, which are central to his character. He is often portrayed as anxious about the show's progression and its eventual end, indicating a deep-seated fear of failure or losing purpose.This being evidenced in seeing Mephone3GS.That experience alone caused a sense of realisation he needed to finally leave Meeple.The way Mephone3GS is..that could end up being him in his place. Whilst it is unknown how 3GS gained his scars the best bet to assume it was from / or somehow Cobs did contribute to it himself (Back in typing this before ACT 1 CAME OUT). If that is the case that would explain Mephone’s sudden urgency to leave the company.However, a fascinating factor is Mephone took MEPAD, WITH HIM. That within itself is noble, Mephone could have just left by himself. But he didn’t. That’s the thing. This already shows Mepad’s and Mephone4’s deep level bond to the point Mephone could’ve taken any other Meeple products with him, yet again he specifically took Mepad. He saved him. He saved him from the possible future abuse that could have been inflicted exactly like Cobs has done to Mephone4.Even if Mepad seems somewhat not exactly aware of all the details.

Mephone’s competitive nature may also stem from a need to prove himself, reflecting an internalised pressure to meet expectations that were never fully articulated by Cobs.

Furthermore, MePhone4's "out of sight, out of mind" mentality is a clear indication of his avoidance coping strategy. Instead of confronting his past, especially the painful memories associated with Cobs and Meeple, he chooses to erase them from his system. This physical removal of memories symbolises his desperate desire to escape from the emotional burden they carry. His consideration of re-erasing these memories after they resurface suggests an ongoing struggle with his unresolved trauma. It highlights his inability or unwillingness to process these emotions healthily, leading to a continuous cycle of avoidance and emotional suppression.

Impact on Relationships:

His trauma significantly affects his relationships with others, particularly the contestants and his assistant, Toilet. His lack of regard for the contestants' well-being and his blatant bias during eliminations suggest that his trauma has warped his sense of empathy and fairness. By showing favouritism and making shrewd comments, MePhone4 exerts control over the game in a way that might make him feel more secure or powerful, counteracting his underlying feelings of inadequacy.

His treatment of Toilet, whom he sees as an "unhelpful menace," further illustrates how his trauma manifests in his interactions. MePhone4's disdain for Toilet can be interpreted as a projection of his own insecurities. By belittling Toilet, MePhone4 may be attempting to distance himself from his own perceived flaws and weaknesses. This dynamic reflects how his unresolved issues with Cobs influence his behaviour, leading him to replicate similar patterns of emotional neglect and dismissal.

Mepad:

Relationship between MePhone4 and MePad is characterised by a clear hierarchical structure. MePad is the professional assistant, always respectful and subservient, referring to MePhone4 as "sir" and fulfilling his tasks with precision. This dynamic reflects a classic power imbalance where MePhone4 holds the authority, and MePad exists primarily to serve and support him (Though I do not believe Mephone does so with any malicious intent). MePad's professional demeanour and lack of overt emotional expression reinforce this power dynamic, as MePhone4's emotional volatility is contrasted with MePad's calm and measured responses.

MePhone4's authority over MePad is not just professional but also emotional. MePhone4's insecurities and anxieties often lead him to rely on MePad for solutions and advice, placing MePad in a position of subtle influence despite his ostensibly lower status. This creates a complex dynamic where MePad, though subordinate, becomes a critical emotional anchor for MePhone4, helping to manage his chaotic emotions and the stress of running the show.

Despite claiming that he "can't feel anything," MePad's use of sarcasm and his occasional concern for others indicate a deeper, more nuanced emotional landscape. This suggests that while MePad may not experience emotions in the same way as MePhone4, he has learned to navigate the emotional environment of the show, adopting a dry, ironic tone as a coping mechanism or a way to fit into his role.

MePad's emotional suppression is most evident in his calm and composed demeanour, even in situations where others might express frustration or concern. However, his growing concern for the contestants, particularly Marshmallow, reveals that he is not entirely devoid of emotional response.

The relationship between both of them revolves from one of strict professionalism to something more complex and personal. While MePad starts as a loyal assistant, his actions later in the series suggest a growing sense of independence and moral judgement. His willingness to challenge MePhone4's decisions, as seen when he lies about Marshmallow's whereabouts.

Truth or Flare (ii 15):

MePad's conversation with MePhone4 about quitting the host position of Inanimate Insanity II is a pivotal moment that causes the shift in their relationship. This conversation suggests that MePad is not only concerned with the show's logistics but also with MePhone4's well-being and the overall direction of the series. MePad's ability to confront MePhone4 about such a significant decision reflects a deepening of their relationship, where MePad moves from being a mere assistant to a confidant and advisor, someone who can influence MePhone4's major life decisions..

CONCLUSION:

Whilst many claim and point fingers at Mephone4’s behaviourisms after such a pivotal moment. There is something that must be addressed that I noticed as I am writing this analysis. In this episode, he struggles with handling the pressure of hosting and maintaining control, revealing his insecurities. His tendency to put his own desires above the contestants is a key aspect of his character, as seen when he prioritises entertainment value over fairness. Throughout the episode, MePhone4 becomes increasingly panicked as the game show format starts to unravel, whether that being even something simple as Suitcase trying to reassure Mephone about his past trauma.A pattern I have noticed is that people will try to justify themselves that they hate him because of how he doesn't care about his contestants or his co-hosts. When he clearly does! It is shown subtly throughout the season 2 and 3 he does care, just isn't sure how to show it. The only way he knows is by doing what he is doing. He learnt everything from TV, his views on things will be skewed.He's going to have weird views on what is considered care. Because this man hasn't HAD a single OUNCE of it in his life. He doesn't KNOW what care is, properly.There's a reason why he was suddenly rude and dismissive,there's a reason why he didn't keep answering suitcase,despite suitcase, trying to reassure him that it's okay to talk about it and that she's there for him if nobody else is. Mephone doesn't know how to respond to that. How would he anyway?

If you don't agree with me. Please do NOT come after me. This is just MY personal analysis because he is a heavy kin for me, for a good reason. And It makes me really anxious and REALLY uncomfortable when I see people hunt him down as a character,I am not excusing his actions but I am explaining it.

[peachedtv]

Re-Fucking-Venge

﹂ Yandere!Dabi x Nurse!Reader ‘Come dance with me in hell, won’t you, Father?’ And boy did Dabi fucking mean it. Poor little you to have been his next ledge to mindfuck his father to shards. 

﹂Genre: angst, toxic relationship, slow burn, 18+

﹂ Warnings: AFAB, female pronouns, Kidnapping, non-sexual hair pulling, paralysis, angst, drugging, profanity, descriptions of panic attacks, violence, slight horror, insults, broken family dynamic (both Dabi [duh] and reader's),

﹂ WC: 6.67k

﹂ From Redact: this will be continued! My motivation sucks so I'll try to promise a regular schedule.. I first posted this story at 2k words, then kept editing back to get it up to 6.67k, so I'm reposting it to let the people see the final copy incase yk. If you wanna be on a taglist tell me !!! I'd love to have one

Honestly, everything's turned into a fucking mess.

After the absolute devastation of Dabi’s theatrical exposing of Endeavour, your workplace was swarmed by furious citizens and questioning paparazzi. They were angry. So fucking angry. Angry for the fact that Endeavour had such cruel impositions on his children, angry that his actions caused the root of such a murderous villain, and angry at the fall of heroes being ironically unheroic. Day or night, their anger wouldn’t stop. The continuous flashing lights of cameras, the synchronized yelling, and the fists that shook in the air. With the mantra of harassment towards your hospital, one would think you’re caring for number one himself—the one Dabi framed as the center point for his villainous roots, the one who did most of the hurting. But, no. You weren’t caring for Endeavour. You were the main nurse for his wife, Rei. And that's what truly ticked your soul.

It absolutely baffled you. Why were such a mantra of citizens harassing a regular person? Can’t they properly think that if Dabi’s speech pointed at Endeavour, it’s mainly Endeavour’s doing? Article after article, you started to understand that many hard-luck Endeavour fans were convinced that the abuse Dabi had forsaken was all Rei’s fault.

‘She’s manipulative.’

‘What a fucking gold digger.’

‘No wonder Endeavour had to take out his anger on his children.’

Yet who was the one in psychiatric care? Are these people truly blind to the obvious victim here? It made your blood boil.

You kept Rei under your loving care for years. As someone who had their own fucked up family situation, you felt for her since her admission oh so many years ago. You knew who she truly was, and so, it made you enraged that these strangers yelled at her as though they’d known her all their ignorant lives. As if they had the entire situation figured out when even Endeavour had his own twisted narration of what happened. People believe what they want to believe, and you began to understand that. People protect what and who they wish to protect. It did not matter how morphed and wicked the twists on their perceptions may be—as long as they can justify themselves. As long as they can justify the wrong.

And so, here, Rei was not the object of the crowd’s protection. She was the embodiment of their malformed justifications. The receiver of their hatred, the one to hear the garbage and clunk of cans thrown against her window.

It’s during a time like this that you’re truly brought back. Brought back to the Rei who first arrived. The Rei who was constantly in a fight or flight response. For the first few weeks of her stay, she wore a horrid expression of absolute dread. Her eyes truly had no spark, and her body felt empty of any soul. She always looked down, her chin tucked near her chest as she zoned out into a singular corner of her room. Many of the doctors and nurses complained to the head, saying she was too much for our hospital to handle. Whenever someone merely grazed her arm while cleaning her room, she would scream out in horror—thrashing about as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Thus, when nurse after nurse had quit being her caretaker, finally you came up to the chopping block, and you had heard a lot about her. Of course, none of which was positive.

‘She’s fucking insane.’

‘That woman makes me want to quit.’

‘Thank god I got switched out.’

‘Goodluck, Y/N, you’ll need it.’

When you first saw her, the barrier you had about yourself slipped. No, you didn’t see a manic woman, nor did you see some form of a psycho. What you saw, mesmerized you. You were entranced. She was truly beautiful. Her white hair gently framed her face, while the sunlight in her room had a cold, blue hue, that you didn’t feel was present anywhere else in the hospital. She had the aura of an apathetic beauty, a flower that was plucked - for even wilting roses had their charm. Her eyes, though, those wonderful eyes. You could tell her deep irises once held the spark of happiness, the spark of hope and care. Yet now, her eyelids hung low, dark circles beneath her lids dragging her visage lower, and her posture as an enervated slouch. It was in that moment when you first laid eyes on her did you truly see who was deep inside the shell of her abused being. She brought you back, brought you back to who you easily could have become—shown you who you would’ve been had you not fought tooth and nail against your resolves. And so, determination flared inside of you. You will help her. You will bring back her spark. No one should fight so alone against something a crowd can’t handle. Thus, even if you’re the only one by her side, you will still be there.

It had taken a couple of months for you to barely disarm her violently defensive walls, but you managed. You always knocked on her door before entering, peering through before stepping into the room. You set up a small stool by her bedside, and every time you came to her you would sit down before getting to your medicinal caretaking. You’d smile, greet her warmly, and tell her silly stories about your day. Tales of the warm old man across the hall, of those pesky UA kids that couldn’t help but fight a little too hard for others. You would go into detail after detail, eyes dancing across the empty walls as you lightly laughed at the memories or clicked your tongue at some of the peskier ones. Although she never responded, you made sure to speak to her every single time.

Furthermore, you were careful, you truly wanted the best for your patients, and she is no different. You were careful when you delicately held the flowers’ stems as you poured in fresh water. You were careful when you gently told her everything you would care for before doing it. ‘I’ll be checking your heart rate, is that okay?’ You’d smile, not even grazing her arm before a sign of confirmation. And it was these careful things you did for Rei that truly made her love you too. Soon, she began to speak. Her voice was delicate and raspy, as she hadn’t used her vocals in such a long time. But still, you smiled at her. Tears welling in the corners of your eyes as you listened to her very first request for a glass of water. Progress is progress. And you were determined to continue it.

From her vaguely written patient file, you had an idea that her husband was the main factor in her descent into your care. But, you were horrified once Rei trusted you enough to spill her heart's deepest sorrows—all caused by her husband. She cried, and oh how her tears fell so quietly it shattered a piece of you that you didn’t know was there. After she began giving you one-worded answers, to replying in whole sentences, her walls soon came down and a woman desperate for help and comfort revealed herself. It broke your heart remembering the number of overtime shifts you’ve spent merely hugging her while she gripped your scrubs. Her arms desperately clinging to you for any minuscule support, her body trembling in the fear that you’ll give up and leave her just as the other nurses did. Those silent tears fell, her muffled cries making you wish you could take away her pain if only for a minute. Every night, that was the scene between you two. And every night, flashbacks of her husband’s cruel words yelled at her from the silence only she could hear. Not only as a nurse, but as a human being, you truly cared. And Rei could feel that sincerity, thus, you two grew close.

Even after Rei exponentially improved, you still tried your best to give her some kind of comfort she could cling to in the emptiness of the hospital’s blank walls. You were so proud of her. She came so, so far in her healing process. And your soul smiled at the thought of her gentle nod whenever you entered her room—she had the misfortune of a hundred lives, and didn’t deserve a single crumb more of difficulties.

So why did fate have the tv running that day?

You ran to her room, the blaring of her EKG racing your mind with worry. It had been long, too long, since her heart raced so. You had gotten used to her health, to her improved state, so how the hell did this happen? When you burst through the door, Rei was slumped on the ground with her hand clawing into her chest as she hyperventilated, her eyes wildly ajarred as her gaze stuck to the screen with tears swelling the corner of her ducts as her lips fell apart in these broken attempts of communication.

'-was born as the eldest son of Endeavour.'

‘Rei! Breathe, breathe, I’m right here for you. Please, what happened?’ You held her comfortingly, rubbing your palm in circular motions upon her back. God, how did this happen? Sorrow wretched your soul when she began to cry harder, frantically looking from the floor before her and the screen upon the tv. She shoved you away with as much force her could muster, you stumbled slightly back, in absolute shock. It had been a while since Rei had a any miniuscle of violence in her outbursts—let alone having an outburst in the first place, and it broke your heart to wonder why it was happening. You could tell her conciousness was slipping from the rapid breaths she choked to take, how her movements became more sluggish. She began to scream, her hands tangling into the hair on the side of her head as she knelt with her face to her knees. You reached into a nearby cabinet, taking a deep breath as you thrashed around the contents until your fingers wrapped about a minor sedative. It pained you, you haven’t had to go to such measures in so long. Your hand firmly on her shoulder, you told her everything was going to be alright before injecting the sedative and keeping your comforting words. 

'I was created for my father's selfish dream.'

‘It’s okay, I’m right here. Don’t worry about a thing, Rei.’ You spoke gently, and her eyelids began weighing down to shut, before she looked deep into your eyes and whispered: ‘T-tell him I’m sorry.’ Your eyes followed her as she tried to look towards the tv. Upon the screen, a man was sitting upon a vintage couch. Throughout his body, horrid patches of purple plastered his skin, barely holding onto his stature with the use of staples, you could see the dip in his surviving skin and the bruised purple from the awful staple job on his body. It looked so painful your skin tingled in discomfort. With such a blatantly iconic look, how could you not recognize the man himself? Dabi. His hair was a messy black, his chin picked up toward the camera, and a darkened gaze of determination and resentment filled his eyes—a stare that would pierce the soul of any viewer.

'-my father would force my mother to give birth to more off-spring.'

How long had his voice been playing in the background? You stared, stared at the TV. You listened, listened to Dabi apathetically recall every horrifying detail Endeavour put his pitiful children through. The same details that had you shaken to insomnia at night when you first heard it through Rei's exasperated cries during her mental break downs. It was awful, Endeavour's actions were horrid. The neglect, the abuse, his cold demeanour, hearing both Rei and now Dabi recount those awful memories made you realize just how cold the air about you became as well - a sudden contrast as though your physical environment darkened from the heavy words Dabi spoke out about. You felt their pain, but you know you could never truly understand it. Not until you had gone through something the exact same, and even then, everyone processes trauma differently. Thus, empathy is such a golden key. The very key that had your shocked visage brim with tears. There wasn't a hint of pain in Dabi's voice, not yet, at least. Yet, you knew that years before, and deep inside his battered body, Touya was will trapped. Crying, begging, trying to crawl his way out. You saw a reflection of Rei in Dabi. The reflection of someone who was in pain but built these sky-high walls to hide any form of vulnerability.

‘Using the blood Endeavour left at the fight in Kyushu,’ his hand propping up a document, ‘there was a 99.99% match.’ 

Truly, it took a while to understand what you heard. Your eyes carefully traced the screen, ears perked up in denial as Dabi described every moment that Rei had described to you. Endeavour, the pain, the abuse, the screaming, the yelling. He recalled it with an absent look of apathy glazed across his face. His eyes reflecting that of an apathetic beauty. A look you recognized from the Rei who first walked into your care. If it weren’t for his unforgiving injuries, he would have been a splitting image of his mother. As you gazed upon his grotesque features, his lips mouthed the same name of the son who Rei prayed so desparately for the return of.

Yet you don’t think her prayers were answered in the best way.

You stared holes into that screen, watching his careful movements, scanning the paper Dabi held in his hands, as you watched his mouth moved it was in that moment that you realized you couldn’t hear. A ringing was blaring in your head as the only sensory you had left was that of sight. Your vision tunnelled, the sides of your perception clouding into black as you silently watched Dabi continue to expose that wretched hero who caused his dear family such tremendous misfortune. Dabi was the same Touya Rei cried to you with gulit over for all these years. The same Touya whos only remains found was a jawbone from the burning forest he died in. The same Touya who fell apart for the sake of his father’s dreams.

How isn’t he dead? It didn’t make any sense. His jaw, how was his jaw found without the rest of him? How had it come off? How did he survive the temperature of those flames being enough to cremate someone alive? Your eyes watched the screen, watched Dabi’s speech continue, that ringing spiking a headache of throbbing pain. Nothing made any sense. And you put your everything into focusing upon the scarred man on the screen so why did this have to happen? Rei was doing so well, it’s not fair, why did this have to happen? She doesnt deserve this to happen she had trued so fucking much. She didn’t deserve this, she was barely healed–

‘Miss Y/N! Is Mrs. Todoroki okay?’ 

Your coworker’s voice snapped you back into reality, and you stammered an apology before carefully placing Rei into her bed and turning off the tv with shaking hands. From the expression on your coworker’s face, you could tell they saw the footage aswell, their eyes nervously tracing to the ajarred cabinet door to the sedatives, understanding the regress in Rei’s stability from this entire situation. 

Sadly, Rei’s instability wasn’t as fleeting as you had hoped. It didn’t take long for Rei to fall apart into the hole she fought so hard to climb out of. With the mantra of angered ex-Endeavor fans accusing her of child abuse, along with the constant paparazzi that flashed bright lights toward her window and posted her tear-struck face all over tabloids, you couldn’t blame her. For days after the incident, you refused to sleep. Staying by her side as she couldn’t rest at all. Although a hospital never sleeps, it still quiets at twilight. But no, not anymore. For even night didn’t tire the fucking protestors. They screamed out, police desparately trying to control the situation, although they were smart. Hugging the gates, not actually on the property of the hospital. Thus, the police couldn’t pull any legalities on them. 

You never left the hospital anymore, every break and after your shifts, you would sit at Rei’s bedside. The aura was both somber and panicked, darkened with the occational sniffles and choked sobs of Rei’s rasped voice. Unlike the usual, you did not speak. You knew the voices in her head had come back now, and if you added your own, Rei wouldn’t be able to hold out any better than she already is. So, the only thing you knew to do was to never leave her alone, and her arms never left your back. You held her in an embrace every night, neither of you sleeping, neither of you talking. Slowly, she began to loosen her hold, gently sleeping a couple minutes a night with her chin resting on your shoulder. Your heart lit with hope, glad she could finally sleep a wink. Before long, she was truly able to fall into a decent slumber, her body resting against yours for a couple hours before she would gasp awake. Slowly but surely, improvement had come. And once Rei’s sleep schedule returned to some extent, you traveled back home to your apartment for the first time in over a week to gather your own well-deserved rest.

You wish you could say your return brought some comfort to you. But truly, the silence was eerie to say the least. Your mind was still worried. Worried that Rei would wake up in the middle of the night, all alone without you there. A part of you missed her already, but your boss became truly worried for your health after the bags under your eyes darkened into a bruise like hue. She demanded you at least go home for a night, and you relented. Truly, your body was giving up, and you needed the rest too.

Your keys twisted inside the lock as you pushed the door open, a familiar creak welcoming you back. You did not feel very welcome. The air was a piercing cold, with all the lights in your apartment off. The fact that it was late into the night did not help, with both an absence of light in your home and no twinkling stars to gaze upon. Everything was pure dark. You sighed, dumping your bag lazily by the door as you kicked off your shoes, taking heavy steps toward your room when you stopped. You stood still, so, so still. From the crack below your closed bedroom door, light bled into the dark hallway. You were scared, truly. You never leave the lights on before leaving, so what was happening here..? Why were the lights on?

A sense of dread filled your body, and you listened carefully. Nothing. No rummaging, no gentle thumps of someone’s steps, just the rays of light dauntingly brightening the floorboards and that white noise of ventilation. Quietly, you walked backward toward the front door, taking shaky breaths as your lungs quivered. You should’ve stayed with Rei. You shouldn’t have come. With how little sleep you had gotten, your mind felt as though you were floating. And obviously, you struggled to form any kind of rational thought about your current predicament. Despite that, you did have one thought. The thought that you must leave. Immediately. You didn’t care for your belongings, your jacket, nor your shoes and keys. All you cared for was to get the fuck out. 

Every pore on the wall felt as though an eye was peering through, watching your pathetically fearful movements. Shivers spiked down your spine and every dark crack of any open door had an imagined silhouette peering through, faces tauntingly smiling to you through the dark. You were panicking.

Your hand gripped the knob, turning it slowly to stiffle it’s persistent creaks before you flung open the door to bolt outside. Your mind raced, breath hitching as steps slapped upon the cement. As you approached a corner, you turned your head back as you kept running—fully expecting the door to fly open and a figure to chase behind you. You couldn’t imagine why you had to have some burglary occur. You didn’t live in an exceptionally poor or rich area, and there were blatant security cameras throughout the building. The more you watched your back, the more you felt a little silly. Nothing came, and you nearly slowed down your bolt as a light chuckle of relief fell before your mouth. You’re safe, your apartment was safe. There’s no threat in your room, obviously, you must’ve forgotten to turn off the lights. You turned the corner as your bolt slowed into a jog. Yet, your momentary relief was short-lived the moment you roughly crashed into something in front of you.

You fell back, falling hard onto your ass with your palms scraping against the unforgiving texture of the floor. Gravel stung, digging into your open skid marks. Athough, that pain was nothing compared to the strike fear over who stood before you. 

The very man upon your tv screen those days before.

The very man who single-handedly wrecked the top two heroes.

Dabi.

He looked down at you, a sickened gaze and smirk plastered over his graphic features. He looked manic, and he was manic. The way he demeaningly leaned down to you, hands dug deep into the pockets of his black slacks, the way he cocked his head to the side, it all made your throat starkly dry. 

‘Why the long face, Y/N?’ You internally gagged, your name sounded so vile on his tongue, in the way his face stared at you with hatred. How does he know your name? What does he want? You stared up at him speechlessly, your jaw falling silent and eyes dropping wide with horror. Your mind raced in confusion. Jumping from one false hope to another, trying to relieve your fear that you might not survive this encounter. Your only connection with Dabi was as the nurse of his mother, was he extrapolating some revenge against her? But why? Endeavour had been the main perpetrator of the abuse, so why are you being dragged into this so mercilessly? You couldn’t think clearly, but you did know one thing. Both of you well knew Rei had barely anything to do with the harm Touya had endured. Yet, here he was. Newly born as Dabi, as the Dabi who stared down at you as though you coddled his worst enemy your whole life.

His hand shot toward your collar, the fabric ripping at certain ends from the sheer force he used to drag you closer to his face. Your hands grappled at his wrist, fingertips digging into his hand before your force hesitated when you latched right onto his staples. You were scared. You were really, really scared. The way his smile grew wider in response to those pathetic tears that welled in your eyes, the way he held you so tightly your windpipe felt as though it was burning in pain. You felt misjudged. Thrown into an undeserving cruelty that you hadn’t even sinned enough to deserve. But obviously, why would a villain care about whether or not you deserved their violence?

‘Why are you so scared? I’m only here to thank you.’ He quirked, eyes wide as he laughed at your pathetic expressions of fear and struggle. ‘You won't die, so don’t be too dramatic.’ He smiled, yet, you didn’t feel comforted. Heck, a part of you here realized how much you wish you could’ve died at this moment. Was living through whatever he was about to put you through better than hell itself?

‘You took care of my dear old mom ever since I left, comforting her all those nights, helping her recover from Mr. Number One.’ His grip tightened, your collar bunching up into his palms, harshly wheezing your throat as you struggled to breathe. You knew no amount of fighting back was going to drain him down to stop. Dabi had you stood completely upright, right up on the tip of your toes as he held the majority of your body weight up by your neck, still leaning forward to truly yell into your face. Even without the threat of his quirk, you’d never stand a fucking chance against him with how he towers over you. You could tell of the venom Dabi had in his recalling of your care as his mother’s nurse, his pupils dialating in fury. Had he felt things were unfair? That he hadn’t had the help Rei needed when he felt so much worse? You tried to be empathetic, trying to find a way so you could make it out alive. But the more Dabi tightened his hold on you, the more you realized you wouldn’t be getting out of this unscathed—far from it, actually.

‘I’m here to repay you. You know? You spent so many years caring for her, so I’ll repay your act of kindness.’ His voice dripped in sarcasm, venom seeping through as his spat out to you right in your face. Suddenly, his expression morphed, his smile churning so wide the staples holding his smile  together began to rip at the corners of his mouth. ‘You know, that stupid woman isn’t the angel you keep treating her to be. Haven’t you seen little Shoto Todoroki? How do you think that scar on his precious face came to be?’ Your breath hitched as his grip tightened, your throat completely wrenched into his lone palm as heat began radiating through his fingers. Don’t listen to him, you told yourself. Rei messed up. She’s wasn’t the best mother. But no one helped her victim until she became the abuser. Shoto didn’t deserve that, neither did Rei deserve the cruelities of Endeavour, and nor did Touya deserve a crumb of the pressure he underwent. Can’t he understand that nearly everyone in this situation is some form of a victim? You felt frustrated trying to hold your tongue back against this man. He was blinded by rage, a rage that began rationally and morphed into something villianously sinister. It made you feel frustrated. He pitied himself too much. Everyone was struggling, Shoto and Rei too, so why was he so upset with you helping someone who needed to be helped?

‘You people disgust me. You save whoever the fuck you want, but leave the people who really need it out to burn up in a forest.’ You shook your head, shutting your eyes tightly in denial to his cruel accusations. You wanted to yell. Yell how stupid his words were, how tunnelled his thinking was. Dabi is being selfish. Yet, despite your anger, you were still striken with fear. You understood you were in no place to speak your mind, yet your words just spilled out in a frenzy.

‘You’re so linear.’ You said shakily, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to wrench your windpipe out of his grip so you could just barely breathe. ‘Rei was hurt too, she’s n-no angel, but she’s not such a demon either.’ You spoke quietly, but considered how you were choked up into the air it was remarkably impressive you could even get a peep out. Dabi seemed to only become amused, an upset form of amusement. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mainly from the physical agnoy, but moreso now that his palm began to luminate blue and heat up.

You were going to die over your fat tongue.

Your crying only seeming to fuel him even more as his smile ripped even wider. ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean it badly–‘ You panically wept. His eyes narrowed, a sense of absolute euphoria over the position of power he had. He felt so cocky, you know? He just ruined two of the top heroes’ careers and now he’s taking away the only support and comfort from his shitty mom. His revenge has just fucking started. He nonchalantly dropped your body onto the floor as he adjusted to stand straight. You crumbled to your knees, your hands flying to your throat as you wretched and coughed out. Your neck was painful to the touch, throbbing as you felt the bruise of his grip develop. Suddenly, he knelt down to one knee, looking at you with an unimpressed expression. 

‘Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Be grateful you’re alive.’ He spat, his tone unforgiving. You sobbed, trying your best to sniffle your crying as you bit down on your lip and shut your eyes tightly—too stuck in horror to look at whatever the fuck your current situation was. From the fear of death you just had, you nearly wanted to thank him for sparing your life. Your hands violently shaking as you refused to look up to him, parts of you begging that this was all some bad trip. Suddenly, he laughed. He began to laugh, growing louder and more insane. You stopped breathing, opening your eyes to see him heaving in absolute exhilaration. 

‘Don’t do that,’ He was profoundly euphoric, ‘you’re reminding me too much of how I cried to dear old Endeavour. What, are you trying to send me down memory lane?’ He finally calmed down a little, smiling at you as you knelt before him, fucking speechless. Your relief was immediately drowned out in the panic of what he was trying to do. He reached out, shoving his thumb into your mouth and forcing your jaw open. Taking his other hand, he forced two fingers down your throat without a shred of care. You gagged, grabbing his wrist and digging your nails into his skin as you felt a pill sink into being forced down into your body as he kept his fingers deep in your throat. Eyes wide as you tried to fight him off, jaw stiffening as you prepared to bite down on him. He stared you down warningly, his breaths deepening and hand warming on your jaw. You sobbed, relenting and loosening your grip on his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly. You felt a tear gently trickle down your cheek, it felt warm against your face. But not as warm as the threatening hand on your neck that wouldn't hesitate to burn. Dabi let go, standing up as you coughed out, feeling the pill stay stuck deep in your throat as you tried your best to ignore it. He lazily dragged his hand across your face, wiping your spit off his hand. You started to cry. Sobbing as quietly as you could as you heard. You could tell he was truly annoyed, clicking his tongue as he took heavy steps away from you - but still keeping a close enough distance to burn you alive if you tried to run away. You felt frustrated. What had you done to deserve this? What did he drug you with? Your panic made you hallucinate awful symptoms of the pill. The world began feeling dizzy, your head becoming light, ad your thoughts racing drunkenly. Although, rationally, you knew that you hadn't even digested the pill yet, so you tried your best to calm yourself down before the pill's effects would truly take place.

You didn't realize Dabi had taken his space between you two to take a quick call until he hung up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket before he looked back to you with a bored expression. 'Are you done crying?' He was annoyed. From the expression of apathy and boredom on his face, he resembled a tired dad sick of his children throwing a tantrum over every little thing. The way he looked down at you felt demeaning, and you felt your body shrink a little down into the core of your bruised heart. You wanted to stand up, your legs numb from being forced down to kneel this entire time. Yet, the fear you held over being burnt from any sudden movement kept you scarily still.

'Get up.' There wasn't a shred of care in his voice, but from the way he tangled his fingers in your hair, dragging you forward by it until you were knelt up awkwardly by his side like a dog, you weren't surprised by his verbal violence. Let alone his physical violence. You grabbed his hand, trying to ease the burning pain against your scalp. It felt as though your hair would rip from the root if he pulled just a little harder. Your eyes darted around, confusion to why he propped you up to him so closely. Was there some threat? Was something about to happen? You felt your heart pounding through your blouse, so loud it resonated inside your head. But, it didn't matter how much your scalp burned in pain. It didn't matter how your palms were still scraped open from your initial fall. It didn't matter how you had roughly fifteen minutes before that pill would digest. What did matter was that by the end of those fifteen minutes, you needed to be away from him and whatever he had planned for you. As though Dabi sensed your change in mood from fear to determination, his hand began to heat up.

'If you want to die, go ahead and try what you want. If not, stay down like the trash you are.' You felt the hope you built up crumble, maybe it was from Dabi's words. But mainly, it was from the literal crumble of the ground and roads in front of your apartment building. The way the earth caved in on the infamous stone-like creature that bulldozed through half of Japan—Gigantomachia of the League of Villians. His body was confined down so his brutish face was mere feet away from yours. His eyes were a glinted yellow, so much so they didn't resemble eyes in the slightest—moreso like large fragments of amber-filled or gold his sclera. You watched in horror as large rubbles of the road slipped down Machia's spikes, cracking their area of impact once they fell. Light after light turned on in your neighboring apartments, people opening their doors with pissed-off expressions darkened with eyebags. Looking to curse out whatever fool decided to make such a loud fuss in the middle of the night. Unsurprisingly, as the beast merely turned his head in their direction, and person after person ran out of their homes in wide-eyed fear.

Dabi rolled his eyes, unimpressed at their pathetic attempts at an escape. He raised his palm, flames bursting out from the center as screams of pain erupted. You stared in horror as the people you'd politely smile to every day burnt up before your eyes. You didn't plan it. Your arms reached up and grabbed Dabi's forearm to pull it down into our chest. You cringed when the flame lightly skimmed your shoulder, yet our grip on his arm remained iron. You refused to let people die right in front of you.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He yelled, his flames dissipating as you watched a minuscule bunch run away safely. Dabi shoved you hard into the ground, glaring down at you in absolute annoyance. Yet you returned his glare, looking up at him with resentment. 'Fine, you wanna die? Go ahead.' He aimed his palm in your direction, a twinge of flames hurling out. Without a doubt, you were scared. You were scared of dying, scared of never seeing your loved ones again, and scared of the sorrow your death would cause. You hadn't had the impact you wished to have yet, yet here you were, about to die before barely making a dent of meaning in your life. But in that fear, you felt angry. Angry that you were being relentlessly harmed over helping someone who needed it, angry that Dabi would mercilessly burn the innocent without hesitation, and angry that he was mad at you over trying to save them. He was so unreasonable.

'God! Can you quit it?! I understand your pain, and I understand where you're coming from. But those people aren't Endeavour, Rei, or whoever else you hate! They didn't do anything to deserve being killed over, just like you didn't do anything to deserve what you went through as a kid. So why are you hurting them?!' You glared at him, adjusting your posture so you were sitting upright, a hand soothing the blistering burn on your shoulder. His flames fizzled out, and you saw his eyes widen. He was silent, still. As though for both of you, time stopped. You heard desperate steps fade away into the background, rubble from Machia falling upon the grass, and the sizzles of Dabi's flames eating away the fresh corpses that littered the scene about you two. His expression was apathetic, you couldn't read him. Yet, you felt his mind racing, before his palm picked up and slapped you, hard, right across your face.

'You understand me? Is that what you fucking said?' He was absolutely livid. You could hear the absolute anger in his voice, yet a soft smile spread across his lips. Your cheek felt stung, warm, and you were absolutely speechless. For some reason, him slapping you across your face felt more painful than the burn on your shoulder and the scrapes on your palms combined. It was the way he looked down at you. Down at you with absolute fury, as though you were a senseless fool. 'Don't you dare say you understand me when you haven't gone through what I did.' You could tell he wanted to kill you in that moment. You flinched when he reached out to you, expecting this to be your final moment. Instead, he threw you over his shoulder and jumped onto Machia's back, being dragged away to god knows where. You looked up to his face, catching a glimpse of his thumb wiping a droplet of blood from the corner of his eyes before wiping it onto his sleeve. Did he become injured? Or was that a common occurance? Truly, you shouldn't care. He had just battered you, violently dragging you upon the back of a rocky beast, and yet here your nursing instincts slapped you across the face to anaylze his aid.

Quickly, your brief confusion, or worry, for Dabi fell apart as you realized your legs couldn't feel the aggressive breeze of the wind against it's skin. You fought to move, to adjust your stature, yet you felt as though your nerves were burning, fighting against an invisble force that kept you scarily limp and still. Your heart began to pound in your chest, heavy breaths shaking your lungs as you nearly began to weep over what awful drug Dabi had foresaken onto you earlier. You felt constrained, uncomfortable, a distant tingle of pain tracing about the entirety of your skin as you tried to fight the stunt in your lower half. Your legs. Your legs were paraylzed. Your mind raced a mile a minute, heart dropping deep into your stomach. This isn't fair. It's not fair. You felt as though your life has fallen so far you couldn't even hear it's impact on the floor so down below. No resonating echoes, nothing. And that nothing was not at all what you deserved. You hand quivered, tracing across your shin to your thigh. It felt as though you traced your hand on another body, or a piece of your body that was no longer attached. You were disturbed, trying to keep your sanity together as your temples and eyes burned with frustrated tears. It wasn't until a tear hit your thigh, and you didn't even feel it, did you truly begin to break down.

Everything is a fucking mess.

[iifoundjoy]

Paladin of Voltron AU - which lions do you think the gang would wield? so far ive got... ashlyn as the black paladin - the black lion typically looks for a natural leader, someone who won't hesitate to make hard decisions and brings people together, someone who will stand their ground. ash fits these traits in a lot of ways, shown in how she took charge to keep them safe in the phantom dimension from the very start and continues to give her all in protecting everybody and getting them out.

tyler as the red paladin - the red lion tends to choose those that push their limits, stubborn and prideful, sometimes even aggressive. her paladins are usually the most likely to act on their own and react on impulse, the right hand of the black lion.

tyler is shown to be stubborn and hot-headed most of the time, and while he doesn't tend to stray from the plan- he does voice his opinions very loudly when he thinks there are any flaws in ashlyns plans. and as a duo, i think tyler would make a pretty great right hand to rely on for ashlyn once they've gotten to know each other and warm up.

aiden as the blue paladin - was sort of tough to place, he was fighting real hard for the red lion but ultimately i put him with blue. if we go into a soft dive for blue, you can tell she likes paladins that are open, willing to follow along and adapt, and humorous. while aiden isnt the first to start a group therapy circle, he isn't outright against it either, he just is never quite given the chance to really open up about his own past. but he does follow right along after ash, ready to move whenever a situation changes out of their favor and is no stranger to trying to keep the mood light.

logan as the green paladin - i think green looks for a curious mind of sorts, someone who looks at a puzzle with sheer determination instead of blinking and turning right around. logan is smart, that much is obvious, but he is also the one who figured out most of what they know of the phantom dimension. he was scared yes, but he still figured out so much despite his fear, he felt more than to leave it well enough alone.

and ben as the yellow paladin - yellow is the hufflepuff of the lions i think, it isn't too picky about who pilots it, but they do look for someone reliable in almost any situation. someone stable, almost predictable in a way? the foundation of a group. ben shows this in many ways, one particular moment that comes to mind is at the arcade when things started getting sticky with logan. he was the very first to get up and start throwing hands because that's his friend and he won't watch him go through the same thing he did.

and finally, taylor as allura - this girl was fighting teeth and nail for blue lion but i caved in because aiden and tyler as the dynamic blue/red duo could NOT be missed. i do have this little idea that the twins would be half altaen bastards who were seperated at birth. i think this could also pose conflict when they try to make alliances with other planets because she isn't true royalty. + for a bit of angst throw in their dad saving her when the planet was destroyed. EDIT: another idea for the twins, they were seperated when the planet was destroyed, and when they were about to be put into a cyropod and everything, maybe tylers launched on accident and landed on earth? he wakes up with zero memories of who he was but enrolls into the space garrison because he for some reason knows so much about space and the need to go up there because something is missing but he doesn't know what.

honorable mentions! ashlyn as the red paladin (i thought it could be a sort of keith and shiro situation where she doesn't want it but she ends up with black anyway, i just don't know who would be in shiro's stead, mike?) aiden as the red paladin taylor as the blue paladin and aiden as allura (think about the potential ash and aiden could have here, PLEASE! just switch the flirting dynamic lance always coming on allura but with aiden jokingly flirting with ashlyn all the time) i ultimately chose these pairings because everyone ends up where i want them to be..sort of, except for ashlyn. aiden would eventually become the red paladin, taylor as blue, and i was trying to work out ashlyn going from red to black, but again, i don't know who she would be replacing. to make this work i was thinking maybe the twins were both woken up from their slumber by the team, both fully altaen.

[demondeanismybaby]

Kiss With a Fist

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 1853

Summary: Dean and Reader are out on a hunt, reader has been crushing on Dean for a while and wants it rough

Trigger Warning: Choking, Slapping, rough sex, porn without plot

You and Dean had an interesting dynamic, both of you were hunters of course but there was more there between the two of you. There was the obvious wanting to get the job done but when you looked at him beating down some evil monster you could feel yourself getting wet. It wasn’t very healthy you figured but still it happened. You were out on a hunt with him, and you held back watching him intently and thinking about those hands around your throat. How they would be both firm and gentle in an insane way. It wasn’t a great thing that you never can concentrate with him around. He must have thought you were a lousy hunter since you let him get jumped most times you went out.

“Hey, a little help here!”  Dean was wrestling a vampire to the ground as another one had their hands around his neck from behind.

You ran to his side and grabbed the vampire that was behind him by the back of his jacket you cranked your arm back and punched him square in the face, you could feel the crunch of bones but you knew him being a vampire it did nothing the next step was to inject it with dead man’s blood so you grabbed the syringe out of your pocket and pulled your arm back but the next thing you knew the stupid vampire had knocked it out of your hand and he was wrestling you to the ground.

“Damn it! Dean, the syringe, I can’t grab it.” You screamed.

“Be right there, kind of got my hands full,” he said as he was still struggling with the vampire he had pinned to the ground.

You watched as he injected the vamp with the tainted blood and then the monster went limp.

“Finally, now it’s your turn.” Dean had a manic smile on his face that made you instantly hot.

It didn’t matter that you had sharp teeth and snapping jaws in your face all you saw was a pissed-off Dean ready to make some monsters feel the aggression that he always had pent up. You rubbed your legs together, it wasn’t subtle, but you couldn’t help yourself it felt like a waterfall between your legs. Dean cranked his arm back and punched the vampire on top of you so hard that he flew off you. You jumped up and grabbed the syringe that had fallen and while the monster was dazed you injected him in the neck.

“What the fuck is going on with you,” Dean said in a way that made your skin tingle, it was tight with frustration.

“Nothing just having an off night,” you said, “what were you expecting?”

“That you were ready to fight monsters, not sit back and watch me get beat on.”

You looked into his eyes, studying them. They were so green and deeply entrancing that you were a little lost thinking about what he was thinking about. Maybe he had a point, but you weren’t ready to give in so easily.

“I thought you were the man of the hour, the chosen one, the one who could take any monsters you had to face, without help from any of us lowly townie hunters.” You didn’t really feel that way, but you loved seeing Dean get riled up.

His chest puffed out and his brow crinkled as he looked at you. You could see and feel the anger radiating off him. Again, you felt a throb between your thighs and the heat there was building as he started to huff. You decided to double down, and you pushed him square in the chest hard.

“What are you going to do about it? Dean Winchester, the one that was dragged out of Hell, only to need help fighting two little vampires,” you said.

He pushed you back in the chest, you were starting to feel very excited. You didn’t want to let on though so as he pushed you, you grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm behind him, he was struggling a little but you knew it was mostly for show because he was much stronger than you were. You held him there though and then you whispered into his ear.

“I said,” you repeated, “what are you going to do about it?” There was a maniacal smile on your face.

He spun out of your hold and stared into your face, but the anger was replaced by sheer confusion.

“I don’t get what’s happening right now.”

“Dean I want you to get angry.”

You hated having to walk him through this, you thought he was supposed to be familiar with the strange requests of various women he had been with, but clearly this was beyond even him, you felt a little silly, but you didn’t care. It was time that you told him what you were thinking. Even more so now that your lives weren’t in danger.

“I want you,” you said, while grabbing his shoulders and pulling him roughly towards you.

“Oh fuck,” is all he said before the two of you were kissing each other deeply.

His tongue fought yours for dominance in the kiss, you tried to lead but he had caught on quickly, you felt something pull your head back exposing your neck, it was Dean, hand wound up in your hair yanking you backwards, you reached for his zipper desperately. You wanted to see just how excited he was about this, but he just chuckled and held you at arm’s reach pausing the kiss.

“So needy.” Dean commented, but it wasn’t necessary because you already knew you were.

You pushed your hips towards him, and he humored you by roughly grabbing your pussy through your jeans, rubbing your roughly then once you started to moan softly he stopped, you reached out to shove him for teasing you but he yanked your hair.

“I thought this is what you wanted,” he said, “rough.”

He pushed you back against the wall behind you and started to kiss you again while still holding your hair and he lifted his leg in between yours just to the point where you could lightly grind against his thigh. His hand left your hair, and you figured it was probably going to be a mess when you two got out of here. Suddenly that same hand found its way to your throat. He squeezed gentle pressure, and you heard the noise in the room waver quiet to loud again with the pumping of the blood in your ears. He removed his leg and replaced it with his other hand he was rubbing your pussy over your jeans.

“You want more you little slut?” Dean whispered to you.

You tried to nod against his hand still around your throat. You twisted out of his grip you didn’t want to make it too easy for him. As you pulled away from his strong hands you didn’t realize that he had already planned for your little move and he slapped you across the face, not too hard but it definitely got you riled up. It was your hunters instinct kicking in that made you slap Dean square across the face. A second after your hand went to the crotch of his jeans and you could feel how hard he was and it made you moan the two of you started to wrestle one another hands and legs were everywhere as the two of you slapped, pulled, grabbed and eventually you landed on top of him.

You started to grind your hips against him.

“Let’s get these clothes off,” Dean said pulling at the hem of your now ripped and torn t shirt.

You weren’t even a little nervous as you whipped your shirt over your head and unhooked your bra. It was barely off you when he leaned up and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. His tongue was working overtime as your nipples hardened. You continued to grind against him, but you wanted his pants off, so you pulled back and unzipped his jeans pulling them roughly down by his ankles, there was no part of you that wanted to wrestle his boots off, there just wasn’t time. You kneeled beside him he was rock hard and ready for you to suck him into your mouth, he was big it was hard not to just gag right away but you wanted it bad. So, you bobbed up and down sucking hard as he moaned, and his hand wound into your hair again. He held you still as he fucked up into your mouth.

“Feels…so…fucking…good.”

He pulled you off his dick by your hair, then he shoved you onto your back on the ground. He kneeled between your legs and started to lick your clit roughly and you gushed into his mouth you couldn’t control yourself. He licked your pussy everywhere paying special attention to your clit and you were so wet. You could feel the cold air against your skin every time he took a gasp of air. And your legs were tingling from curling your toes so hard.

“I need more, now!” You shouted; you didn’t care how needy you sounded.

He complied right away and shoved his hard cock inside of you, you could feel him hitting you so deep as he thrusted into you repeatedly. He was holding you by the neck and using it for leverage as he pounded your pussy. You couldn’t stop yourself from cuming on his dick you felt the contractions of your pussy tightening around him. He clearly felt it from the way his eyes rolled back into his head. He pulled out of you and rubbed his rock-hard dick against your soaking wet pussy rubbing the head of it against your pussy lips and then barely letting it slip inside you. He was moaning loudly, and you could feel your clit throbbing and you were almost ready to cum again.

“Put it inside of me,” you wanted it bad; you wanted him to bust inside of you.

And he obliged. He fucked you in every position imaginable he was behind you fucking you deep in doggy style your knees scraping against the hard floor. He was underneath you as you took control and road him twerking on his dick and giving him a great view of your tits and your hips ground against him and you could feel him deep inside. You were surprised he lasted so long as he finally said the magic words.

“I’m going to cum.”

You felt him bust inside of you and you could feel his dick inside of you throbbing.

Both of you slowly got up, looking a little worse for the wear. Red marks littered your body, your throat, your face, your knees.

“Well,” you said, “I guess Sam is going to give us a lot of shit for letting these vamps get us so good.” You winked.

“Maybe we should let another monster get us good again sometime?” Dean said a little unsure.

“Fuck yes,” you said smiling.    

[knoepfl]

Mind Games

Characters:

Edward Nygma (The Riddler): A brilliant, egotistical villain who loves how his girlfriend adores him and sees him as a higher being. He takes delight in giving her a simple riddle and watching her struggle to solve it.

Reader (You): The girlfriend who isn’t very clever, but is completely devoted to the Riddler. She adores him and tries her best to solve the riddle he gave her, eager to impress him.

Trigger Warnings:

Power dynamic in the relationship

Light manipulation

Masterlist

Words: 735

---

Edward Nygma leaned back in his chair, eyes twinkling with amusement as he watched you, sitting on the floor in front of him, desperately trying to solve the riddle he had given you. It wasn’t a difficult one—at least, not for him. But for you? He knew it would be quite the challenge.

He loved this. Loved the way you would struggle, the way your brow furrowed in concentration as you tried so hard to impress him. You adored him, worshiped him like the genius he was, and he reveled in that adoration.

“Come on, dear,” he cooed, his voice smooth and patronizing, “It’s not that difficult. Think about it for a moment longer.”

You looked up at him, biting your lip, frustration clear on your face. You hated disappointing him, and right now, you felt like you were failing. He had given you such a simple riddle, yet you couldn’t figure it out, no matter how hard you tried.

“I-I’m trying,” you stammered, glancing back down at the slip of paper he had given you.

What has keys but can’t open locks?

It seemed so simple. You read it again and again, trying to think of what it could possibly mean. “Keys but can’t open locks…” you murmured, wracking your brain.

Edward chuckled softly, enjoying the sight of you struggling. He adored these moments—the moments where you would stare up at him with those wide, pleading eyes, looking for the answer, looking for his approval. He leaned forward slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don’t strain yourself too much, darling,” he teased. “It’s not beyond you… or perhaps it is.”

Your cheeks flushed at his words. He was so smart—so brilliant—and here you were, fumbling with the simplest of puzzles. “I just… I don’t get it,” you mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

“That’s quite obvious,” Edward replied dryly, crossing one leg over the other as he continued to watch you with that smug look on his face. “But I’m sure you’ll get there eventually. Or perhaps I should give you a hint?”

You glanced up at him, hopeful. “A hint would help…”

“Would it now?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by the whole thing. “Very well. What object do you use every day that has keys?”

You blinked, thinking it over. “Keys… I use my house keys… no, that’s not it…” You wracked your brain, feeling even more confused than before. “Wait… a piano has keys, doesn’t it?”

Edward’s grin widened, and he clapped his hands together. “Bravo, my dear! You’ve done it at last!”

Your face lit up, beaming at him. “Really? Oh! It’s a piano!”

He stood up from his chair, walking over to you with that superior air about him, as if he was bestowing a great honor upon you. “Yes, it’s a piano,” he repeated, his voice laced with mock approval. “Not bad… though it did take you a while.”

You blushed again, but this time there was a sense of pride beneath the embarrassment. You had solved it, even if it took you longer than it should have. “Thanks, Eddie,” you said softly, “I’m glad I got it.”

Edward leaned down, cupping your chin in his hand, lifting your face so you were looking up at him. His smirk was as sharp as ever. “You should be glad, my dear,” he purred. “But don’t mistake this for true brilliance. It was… adequate.”

Your heart fluttered at his touch, at the way he always made you feel like he was so far above you. And you loved it. You loved the way he could make you feel small and insignificant, while at the same time making you feel special for being the one he chose to keep by his side.

“I’ll keep trying,” you promised, your voice soft. “I want to get better, for you.”

Edward chuckled, releasing your chin and straightening up. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll improve, in time. But honestly, my dear, don’t try too hard. I rather like you just the way you are. After all, it’s far more enjoyable to watch you struggle.”

You blushed even deeper at his words, but the embarrassment only made you more determined to please him. You adored him so much, even if you couldn’t match his intelligence. And he adored you in his own way—because he knew you would never leave him. You needed him, and he thrived on that.

---

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading! I wanted to capture Edward Nygma’s condescending but affectionate side in this fanfiction, showing how he enjoys watching his girlfriend struggle with something simple and how he thrives on being seen as superior. Let me know what you think!

[maddascanbe-blog]

Miracu-class girls are done! It took less time than I initially anticipated, thank goodness. Let's talk re-write's and re-designs shall we?

Sabrina so freaking cute, give the girl her hat. It was probably a gift from Chloe. For her redesign I thought she would be the kind to dress in cute blouses and flowy skirts. She has tennis skirts in every color for every occasion. As for her re-write- anyone who saw how I changed Chloe probably will guess that their dynamic is drastically changes as well.

Sabrina met Chloe when they were in their tween years, Officer Roger having worked security for the Bourgeois on multiple occasions. One day he had to bring his daughter into work and Chloe found her wandering the halls. When a kidnapper tried to abduct Chloe, Sabrina sprayed him with pepper spray her father gave her and then kicked him in the dick for good measure. Chloe then declared that Sabrina should be her full-time body guard, and she technically is being paid to hang out with Chloe. But Sabrina would have done it with or without the money since Chloe is actually very endearing once you figure out how she works.

Alix is next! Alix's violently pink hair could not be ignored, so I kept it (albeit a little less saturated) Also she is in fact still short. Her outfits are probably all variations of sports gear unless she has an event to attend at the museum. I also tanned her up since I imagine she spends a lot of time outside, girl is sunburnt. She is actually a year ahead in history, having gotten too bored with junior level classes. So she's friends with some of the seniors too. I won't get into Bunnix anytime soon but- let's just say it's a lot more tragic than cannon would ever admit. The rabbit's powers are changing, and Alix still has to live with that.

On a lighter note, Juleka, as stunning as ever. Tall queen. She is a year behind since her lack of participation in classes ultimately tanked her grade in several subjects. Her band director was more then happy for her to stay an extra year though, since she is trained classically as well as electrically on the bass. She may not like talking, but she has little fear of performing when the music can do the talking. Her twin brother actually graduated early, and he's working now to help pay for the band the two want to start. Her design doesn't change much from her cannon one other than the fact I switched her ripped leggings for lace ones. I imagine she actually has many outfits in this color pallet, since Chat Noir quickly becomes her favorite hero.

Mylene, okay the change I made here is pretty obvious. I debated for a long time on whether or not I change her skin tone. And when I did the line art? Wasn't planning too. But changed my mind last second, since I thought it helped the color pallet more. This would imply she is mixed, with her dad looking pretty much the same as cannon. it's hard to tell her unless you look closely but I gave her freckles that just cover every inch of her. She is Sunkissed. He character isn't super different, she is still easily startled, but she knows what she believes and will fight for it no matter what.

And finally, Rose! The lovely Rosey! The flower child! Her nonspecific illness still definitely happened, but I like to think she has actually recovered. I do not know enough about most chronic illnesses to make any sort of specification on what she has so nameless headache disease it is! She struggled a lot as a kid, but now she's planning to start a non-profit to help kids who are going through hard times of their own. She definitely still has her down days, the fact that she nearly died so young is not something she is quick to forget. But she will do whatever she can to give other people hope, sinee she knows all too well what it feels like to be hopeless.

As for her design, she had a bucket of pink upturned on her. She did have to have her hair shaved as an affect of her illness but now it's growing back faster than ever. She gets it cut every time it gets past a certain length to donate it.

Luka is next!

[creedslove]

DESERVE IT - PART NINETEEN

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: gossip, wedding dresses trials and the visit of your mother who obviously doesn't like your fiance makes everyone really question if your wedding will happen or not

• PART ONE TO EIGHTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: fluff, mentions of smut and actual smut yay (unprotected p in v, ass play, butt plug (f!), oral f!receiving, fingering and SQUIRTING) breeding kink if you squint, reader's mom is a bitch, insecure!reader, insecure!Javi, fluff ❤️

A/N: besties, this one was a real hard chapter to write. It took me days to get it done and it wasn't even good, I don't know what happened, it felt like I simply couldn't get the story going, but in fact, I know exactly what happened: I am having a real hard time to let this story go, which is why I announce you guys, next chapter (chapter 20) will be our last one! It's time to give reader and Javi the happy ending they deserve it ❤️

5.8k words

The first thing you felt when you stirred in bed as you were trapped in that moment between sleep and consciousness, was Javier's boner pressed against your body. It wasn't unusual, it was a feeling you grew to love every single morning you woke up next to him, but with his recent absence once he left Colombia, you had missed it. It was just one of the particularities of your relationship that just made you and Javi… well, you and Javi. 

You rubbed yourself against his hard on, dragging whimpers from his sleeping face, you didn't mean to tease him, you just wanted to be closer, feel his warmth against your body, like you had longed for all the time you had to spend apart. His arm was thrown over your body as you felt him sinking his face further into your hair, giggling softly at how he just mumbled something in his sleep. You hadn't seen Javi relaxed like that in months, you liked it. He wasn't wary, his body wasn't tense or stiff and he didn't wake up at every move you made in bed.

You opened your eyes and took in your surroundings, you were so used to the old routine, you expected to find yourself in his apartment in Colombia, the old furniture, the mirror facing the bed, the heat barging in from the window, but instead, you saw the room was still dark, blinders closed, the disposal of the furniture was different, the decoration wasn't the same, but the mirror by the bed… that remained. Dirty old Javier, always showing his kinkiness in the slightest details. He mumbled again against your head and you chuckled, you loved this new dynamics you two had established ever since you got to Laredo, it'd been a few weeks now and you were adapting just fine. 

At first, you were so worried and anxious about everything. First of all, terrified Chucho would be annoyed at your presence, after all Javier just told him eventually one day you would move in with them and just a couple of days later you showed up there without a warning and he was forced to take you in. No matter how many times Javier tried assuring you Chucho was fine with it, you still felt worried about bothering him, you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable in his own home and more than once you reminded Javi you would be okay with going somewhere else. 

But you father-in-law happened to be a real welcoming person; at first, he was serious, kept to himself, and he very often glanced at you, as if he analyzed you, trying to figure out if you were a good person or not. At first, it was obvious he didn't put faith into Javier's engagement, that boy had been engaged once and things didn't end well for neither part, and Chucho was terrified of another scandal and the inevitable humiliation that would come together in case his son replicated his old behavior; that was until he noticed how head over heels Javier was for you, and then his concerns changed: what if instead of Javier breaking your heart, you broke his? 

And that was why at first, all the older man did was stare at you and watch you quietly, trying to get a glimpse of your intentions. He knew Javier wasn't a child anymore, his son was strong, independent, and didn't get attached easily, but at the same time, Chucho had never seen him act towards a woman like that, he could see the need Javier had of you, of your touch, how he constantly had a hand over your body: on the small of your back, your thigh, your waist. It was explicit to him how emotionally dependent Javier was on you and it made him shiver to think of what would happen if you left him, he was sure his son would have a hell to pay. Some would've said he deserved it, he had it coming, but Chucho would be heartbroken too, he knew his son already came back from Colombia a little broken after everything he witnessed, and he didn't want him to suffer anymore. 

But you started waking up early every morning and made everyone breakfast and your father-in-law couldn't deny the fact you were a good cook, and that breakfast was way better than his and his son's. Then when Javi and him left for work, you'd stay, organize the house a little and wait for them always with lunch and dinner ready and Chucho didn't hate that at all. But what really got to his heart, was when you asked him about what Javier was like when he was little. He saw it was finally his opportunity to speak, he'd missed that, having someone to talk to and you and him were quick to establish a good, sweet relationship. He was fatherly and protective of you and you were kind and patient with him. You understood the years of loneliness made him harden, somewhat like it had happened to Javier in Colombia, but once you showed him you were willing to listen to him, to what he had to say, Chucho became almost a second father to you, he appreciated you for giving him the attention Javier didn't, you listened to him, you paid attention to his advices and his life experience, and before he knew, he was convinced you were the right girl for his son, because to Chucho, you were already part of the family. 

You also really enjoyed the times you spent with him, he was a wise man, he told you a lot about his life, his deceased wife and of course, about your Javi. And that's how you learned Javier was terrified of chickens when he was a toddler, and how he fell from a tree and broke his arm when he was eight. And how Chucho walked on him losing his virginity with Lorraine once when he came earlier from work. 

And Javier wanted to kill himself, mortified and deeply embarrassed about being exposed like that to you. He knew you had a deep admiration for him, and he worried that would be ruined after the dreadful things his dad had told you about his life. 

And all you could do was laugh, you loved learning more about him, each time you passed by a chicken you couldn't help yourself but giggle, and whenever you saw Lorraine running errands in town you couldn't help but cringe at the story you heard. No wonder she barely looked Chucho in the eyes. You also felt pretty good to learn that Chucho never called Lorraine 'mijita' just like he called you. You knew it was petty, she probably didn't even care about the Peñas anymore, but you couldn't help giving into that small competition established in your mind and fueled by people in town. Ever since Javier arrived, many people seemed to be betting against your relationship, they didn't mean harm for real, but they just had their fun by letting snarky comments here and there as if you and Javi were two tabloid celebrities with a scandalous life. 

In the first weeks, it bothered you a little, it was just so disrespectful to be walking around the store and have people whispering about you, not even waiting for you to leave before making their comments, but as you were getting used to the city, you began simply not caring about things at all. Whenever you were out with Javi, you made sure to hold his hand, kiss his cheek or peck his lips, if people wanted to comment, then you two would give them something to talk about. So it stopped being annoying and it became funny, to the point of you and Javi establishing a competition of gossip you'd heard about yourselves. 

'Did you know Y/N is pregnant and she is trying to hide?' 

'I heard Javier is going back to Colombia and leaving his girlfriend behind' 

'They aren't a couple, they are both undercover to chase down Pablo Escobar who faked his own death and moved to Laredo"

It always made you and Javi laugh, it was good to know your relationship was healthy enough so you could joke about stuff like that, you felt good about it, and Javi felt his heart swelling with pride to see you trusted him blindly. 

While Chucho and Javi left for work, you often walked around town, sending out your resume to companies you found interesting, you often went grocery shopping and you got your library card done, so you could pick up a book and entertain yourself. Camila, the girl who gave you a ride to meet Javi the day you got to Laredo became your friend, and you sometimes hung out together at coffee shops or bakeries. Your life in Laredo was going better than expected, you weren't having any problems, you enjoyed the place, the weather, your relationship with Javi was just as good as it had been, he still couldn't keep his hands off you and you had already fucked in places you probably shouldn't have. His truck for once, the stables, the green fields behind his ranch… He also fingered you when you two went to the movies. You didn't even pretend you didn't want to, or that you thought it wasn't a good idea anymore… anywhere Javi wanted to take you, he had you willing to spread your legs for him.

It was so good, the intimacy you had with Javi you never had with anyone and you couldn't even if you tried. Though Javi's bedroom was away from his dad, you couldn't make as much noise as you would like to, so every Sunday morning, while Chucho went to church as a good catholic man, you and Javi enjoyed your alone time together. He would take his time with you and you loved every single part of it. 

So you were already awake, when the rooster crowed and you knew it was only a matter of time for Chucho to leave for church. On the weekends, he established you didn't have to make them breakfast, it was your time off, but you still got up and made it, because the earlier he has breakfast, the sooner he'd leave you and Javi alone. 

You were organizing the kitchen when Javi walked to you, arms snaking around your waist and kissing your neck. You whimpered at his touch, always knowing your body so well. 

"Come on Javi, have breakfast honey" you whispered as he kissed your neck, nibbling it and not caring if he'd leave the mark of his teeth on your skin. 

You groaned at his touch, Javier just had a way to touch and tease you, making everything else seem so distant and meaningless. At his touch, it felt like nothing but him and his cock mattered to you.

"You know damn well what I wanna have for breakfast baby girl" he whispered, his hands going for your breasts, squeezing them softly and toying with your nipples "you know I'm so fucking hungry… and thirsty for you" Javier whispered into your ear and sent shivers down your spine. Ever since he'd made you squirt for the first time, Javi was addicted to it, and he devoted his Sunday mornings to see you pour for him. There was nothing that made that man go on more than drip down your sweet honey, it drove him mad and you both knew it. "Come on cariño, the bed is all ready for you… everything is waterproof, your soft towels are in place so you can make your delicious mess, mi amor" he whispered and took you by the hand. 

    •••

Javi had been pounding into you for a while, you were feeling so worked up, your wetness leaking out of you as your cunt was already sensitive and swollen. Javier had teased and stimulated you, knowing just how to get you ready for him. A plug he had gifted you a couple of weeks before, shoved deep into your tight asshole, because he just knew you squirted when all your holes were filled. You felt so full, Javi's thick cock pounding into you as he pulled and pushed your plug by its base, fucking your ass at the same time. You were tired, sweaty, the knot in your lower belly getting more and more urgent and yet you still had to be strong enough to hold back your orgasm because Javi would punish you if you came before he told you it was okay to do it.

Your legs shook and Javi groaned at each thrust, the way your walls tightened around his cock, making him even more sensitive to you, but he was determined, he wanted to have all of your honey and he wouldn't stop until he got it. 

Suddenly, his moves ceased and you felt empty as Javier slid out of you. You panted, trying to catch your breath glad to have a small break, which didn't take very long, not with Javi getting between your legs once more and breathing down your cunt "you're so perfect hermosa, you look so beautiful all spread up and open just for me…" he praised, his lips ghosting over your inner thigh, small gentle kisses, just enough to drag goosebumps all over your skin. 

"Javi please… don't tease" you whimpered and saw his frown, before his hand swatted your cunt in one dry slap 

"I can do whatever you want, cariño, this cunt is mine, this ass is mine, you are entirely mine, aren't ya?" He questioned you and you just nodded at him, whimpering as Javi finally got to your clit, suckling on it at the same time he used both arms to keep your waist in place, not letting you escape him as he ate you out, your legs shaking as he locked you with one arm, leaving the other free and shoving two fingers deep into your cunt, hitting your special spot and speeding up. He smirked at the undeniable pleasure in your face, loving how you moaned and slithered softly among the sheets. You felt that intense sensation building up once more, your lower belly felt on fire and you knew you were too close now, Javi could tell you weren't able to hold back any longer and softened up, giving your hard, soaked clit a gentle kiss "come on princesa, pour for me, make it fucking rain" he whispered against your pussy and you finally relaxed, reaching for your orgasm and letting the stream hit Javier. 

You had only blurs of him waiting for your sweetness, you couldn't keep your eyes open, but Javi stood right there loving to get your load all over his face. 

You felt like you were melting in a puddle of pleasure, feeling tired and a little sore and yet, Javi climbed on top of you, his face wet with your juices as he kissed you and got his cock inside of you again

"Come on cariño, let's make our baby Peña" he whispered into your ear.

 •••

You giggled as you entered the kitchen, Javi was right behind you, hands around your waist, squeezing you and making you giggle as the two of you had dripping hair and the clothes still hanging tight to your bodies, as you exited the shower not more than minutes before. You should have made lunch at least an hour before, knowing Chucho would come from church hungry and you and Javi could also eat after spending a lot of energy in bed, but the way he couldn't keep his hands off you, really jeopardized the other activities in the house, and at the same time you sort of felt guilty about it, you couldn't resist when it came to Javier Peña. He was your addiction, you just needed and craved him at every hour of your day, the weeks you'd spent apart you thought you were going crazy without him by your side, so now that you could spend a lifetime with him, you definitely didn't want to let it go. As you got into the kitchen, you stopped dead on tracks 

"Mom?!" You nearly shouted, eyes widening as you saw how your mother stood up next to Chucho, who had his hands on his waist - a classic Javier pose and you knew where he got that from, you could chuckle to yourself at that new piece of information on your fiance, if it weren't for the unnerving feeling your mom was giving you. The way she looked around displeased with everything and everyone. How she eyed Javier up and down and couldn't show the slightest smile or any traces of sympathy. "W-what are you doing here?" It was all you could ask her, watching as she shook her head and scoffed

"What exactly did you expect? You simply write me a letter saying you quit your job and that you were going to get married and live in this place?" She looked around "I needed to see with my own eyes, and yes, Y/N, you are indeed out of your mind!"

"I'm not. I'm marrying Javier and I'm staying in Laredo, because Javi and Don Chucho took me in and treat me like family. I don't care what you say, mom, I'm staying" you said and frowned "how did you even get in here?" And it was Chucho's turn to clear his throat and add his own version to the conversation

"I found the lady looking for information downtown, she wanted to know where our ranch was so I offered a ride" 

Javier saw how tense you got and tried using his charms to soothe your mom, maybe all she needed was some flattering, just to get to know him, not many women could resists Javier's sweet brown eyes, his beautiful smile and his polite manners, but the moment he tried greeting him properly your mom made everything at her power to keep him away, not hiding the disdain for him, which immediately made you angry and guilty, to have your uninvited mom treating like shit the people who loved and treated you like family.

Everyone could feel the tension in that kitchen and yet it was a mystery how things would be solved. Luckily to you, Chucho offered to take all of you out for lunch at a nice restaurant, then he suggested you should take your mom to some shops and other sights of Laredo, and though you were thankful for that, you felt really upset to know she was there only with one mission: make you give up on your wedding. 

You spent the rest of the day in a thick tension, you and your mom chatted briefly about family, work, and one could see and think it was just an ordinary case of mom and daughter catching up on the news, but you knew there was more to it. Luckily, Chucho's suggestion worked and she was easily distracted during the day, getting to know the city and going to bed early, being tired because of her trip. Javi also noticed everything and though he hadn't questioned you through the day you knew you would have a conversation about it. For all the time you've known each other, you barely spoke about your family, all you told him was that you had a complicated relationship with your mother and that they used to really like your former fiance, so when he left you, it all came out as a shock. You two hadn't discussed a guest list because after a whole week of trying to plan the details, you had decided to have a courthouse wedding. Not really you took that decision, but rather Javier and Chucho did. You realized the two of them were terrified of another scandal concerning that matter and even if you reassured Javier you trusted him and knew things would be different this time, he still thought it was safer to go with his dad's idea. You did feel disappointed, you'd already envisioned marrying Javier in a simple, but beautiful party, you had dreamed about inviting Murphy, Connie and your other friends, your family of course, not everybody, but the ones you were the closest to, and yet, you ended up agreeing to just signing the papers and carrying on with your day. A party didn't matter that much, but you would like to celebrate it, to put on a nice beautiful dress and show that whole town that yes, you and Javier loved each other and you would work out, despite every mean thing that'd been said and spread by those people. Your mom also agreed on having a discrete, small wedding, but it puzzled her to know why everyone seemed to be insisting on it, you could tell she was suspicious of something but you didn't feel like telling her everything that happened between Javier and his first bride, it would only bring all of you chaos and arguments. 

When you got in your bedroom later that night, you had hopes Javi was already asleep, you didn't quite know what to expect, of course he was an intelligent and observing man and he definitely understood from the very beginning you mom already hated him. You didn't know if it bothered Javi or not, but it probably did a little, no one liked to be hated by someone else and especially not without a good reason. You closed the door quietly, seeing Javi was lying in bed and smiled relieved, though he immediately raised his head from his pillow and immediately turned towards you 

"Cariño?" He called you and you bit your lips "we need to talk" he told you and beckoned, watching as you walked towards the edge of the bed and couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled you by your arm, making you lose balance and fall on top of him. You watched Javier closely, taking in how handsome he was, your heart not taking it as you admired his side profile and gently you traced the shape of his nose with the tip of your fingers, smiling at him, though you could see his expression was serious. 

"Your mom doesn't want us to get married, does she?" He sighed as you nodded. "why? Does she know about Lorraine?" You shook your head shyly "I need you to use your words, cariño… come on" he whispered against your ear as if he was seducing you, like he often did. 

"She doesn't, Javi… I haven't told my mom a lot of things, I haven't even called her, I wrote her a letter, hoping we would've been married by the time she got it. It felt weird not to tell her, but I knew she would have this reaction. She didn't like to know I was in love with you when I first got to Colombia and she definitely doesn't like our lifestyle, you know like the ranch and other things like this…" you said ashamed and looked down "I am not happy with her visit Javi, and I pissed off at how she got here and she thinks she's the queen of the world" you confessed and Javi straightened up his posture, rubbing his forehead and sighing "if she stays here for a long time, she will eventually find out about the gossip… maybe we should just go to the courthouse tomorrow, sign the papers and get this thing over with" he suggested and you couldn't help but feel disappointed, your wedding was now 'this thing'?! You shook your head 

"Javi, do you really wanna marry me?" You asked worriedly and watched as he sighed again "I don't wanna be annoying and insecure, that's just not us… but we went from leaving Colombia and getting married, having a beautiful party, wearing a wedding dress for you, and then we just thought of a courthouse wedding and now you tell me we should do it tomorrow, just to get this thing over with?" 

Javi held your face between his big hands and stroked your cheek gently, leaning in and pecked your lips, before getting off bed and getting on his knees in front of you. He took your hand, caressing it and watching his mom's ring "you're completely right, hermosa. I'm sorry if I made you feel like that, of course I still wanna marry you. I was worried you wouldn't want it after your mom arrived" he sighed "I don't want you to be upset… I want you to go out tomorrow and get yourself a pretty wedding dress, the most beautiful one you can find… I want you to be even more gorgeous to me, and once you get your dress we will figure something out, okay? Something that won't be as impersonal as a courthouse wedding… I just want you to be my wife, I want to have baby with you some day, mi amor" he said, giving you his sweet eyes, and leaning towards your touch as you caressed his cheek. 

     ••• 

"You know mom, you didn't really need to come here with me, it's a simple task… I'll pick a dress I like and buy it" you said as the two of you walked into the wedding dress store, the only one in Laredo and that you were sure you wouldn't really like the options, judging by what you'd seen in the window at least. You mom just rolled her eyes and scoffed

"You are already marrying this… man" she said "the least I can do for you is to help you pick up a decent wedding dress, knowing your taste it will definitely be a nightmare, Y/N" you gritted your teeth and before you could say anything else, a smiling girl came towards you, introducing herself as the clerk and dragging you over to the wedding dresses section. No matter how many times you'd said you were looking for a simple model, something comfortable and pretty, all she did was show you layers and layers of white, flamboyant lace, gigantic veils and your heart clenched to see you were having a hard time to even pick a dress, maybe it was all a sign? No, you shook that thought away, you and Javi were meant to be together, and no matter what was going on, you two would get married. 

When you finally spotted a simple, sleeveless white dress, you sighed relieved. You didn't like it very much, but it fit better the kind of party - if you were having a party at all - than the other options and you insisted on trying it on, despite the comments coming from both your mom and the clerk, who stated the dress was too plain and too simple. You felt your blood boiling, but you didn't say anything at all, it was bad enough you and Javi were the constant subject of gossip around town, and you figured a public argument with your mom wouldn't favor either of you, so you forced yourself to suck it up and get inside the fitting room. 

The clerk smiled at your mom trying to make small talk "so… ma'am, your daughter is marrying Javier Peña… he's kind of a big deal here in Laredo, everybody knows him, he's more of a lição hero, and it's cool that his first bride bought her dress here, and now his second bride is doing the same, hopefully she'll be luckier than Lorraine" the young girl shrugged, trying to sound innocent but also looking for some juicy details she could spread on with her co-workers later. 

Your mom's eyes snapped at the girl's words and she didn't stop inquiring until your mom got the full, whole story. And boy, she wasn't happy about it. 

You watched yourself in the mirror, you hated the dress. Maybe not the dress, but you were hating that experience, that tension and the stress. You hated that store, you hated that sales clerk who always whispered when she saw you and Javi passing by. There was nothing you wanted more than to marry Javi, and he had been clear about wanting to marry you too, but it felt like things weren't collaborating. Not even a dress you could find, and it made you anxious. As you undressed, you couldn't help but stare at your stomach, picturing if you'd look too different with a pregnant bump. You knew getting pregnant was just a matter of time and quite honestly you were a bit surprised it hadn't happened yet, with the amount of times Javi finished inside of you. Still, it didn't feel like the right moment just yet, but when it did, you'd be very happy to have baby Peña inside. 

You knew it was time to get rid of that horrible dress and head home, but you didn't think your mom would be waiting for you at the door, her face seemed to have been replaced with a mask of anger which puzzled you until you all got to the ranch. 

Chucho and Javi were at the table having some coffee and a slice of cake when they heard the commotion of the two women barging in. Your voices were loud but muffled and though it was obvious you and your mother were having an argument, they still couldn't exactly understand what you two were quarreling about. Both men got up and walked to the door, getting to the living room where you were already crying and your mom made sure to tell you horrible words, wanting to express her point of view which she considered to be the only right way to see things. 

Javier didn't like that distress, he knew you were out to see your wedding dress, it was supposed to be a nice day for a woman, and he didn't need to be a genius to see whatever happened ruined it for you. His first reaction was to wrap his arms around your body and pull you closer, kissing the top of your head and stroking your cheek "shh calm down, cariño… what happened?" He asked worried but your mom immediately walked to him 

"You happened!!!" She yelled "you happened to disgrace my daughter's life, Javier! How can she marry someone like you? You cannot even be called a man! You're a coward, a disgusting person!!! And my daughter is the stupidest woman in the world!!! She was humiliated by a man like you, but she seems to like your type because she is willing to make the same mistake for the second time now!!!" Your mom yelled feeling so angry and wanting to inflict as much pain as she could "and even if you don't abandon her at the altar, Mr. Peña… what do you have to offer her? This house? A life on the farm? Taking care of kids and animals? Until what? She gets too unattractive to you and you start chasing down girls half your age?" 

"ENOUGH!!!" you finally roared, being fed up with that scene, that horrid act of cruelty "enough!!! You have no right to say those things, mom!!! You weren't invited here, you weren't even invited to the wedding, I just told you I would be getting married to Javi, well, now I don't even know if there will be a wedding, but you are no one to tell me what to do or what not to do!!! I love Javi and I want this life, we both do! I trust him, I wanna be his wife, be the mother of his children and if you don't like it, just go away!!! I'm not asking for permission or your approval!" You finally said and gently got rid of Javi's arms, not wanting to be there any longer. 

You ran out the door and went for the green fields, the ones you often made love with him and walked until you were far away from the house, from that ranch that despite the large size, made you feel suffocated. You and sat down on the grass and allowed yourself to shed your tears, letting all the hurt out of your chest as you felt so upset at everything that was happening. Your mom had no right to try to ruin everything for you, you were supposed to be living the best of your relationship with Javi and not having everything spoiled by anyone just because they thought it was fun to comment on your life.

You hung your head low and sighed, trying to find some inner peace. 

Some time later, Javi watched you from afar as he squinted his eyes because of the sun and placed his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath and walked towards you, climbing the small hill you sat yourself on and reaching you.

"Hey" he said licking his bottom lip "your mom packed her things and decided to fly back home, dad just took her to the airport…" he said carefully and watched as you nodded, your eyes still red and puffy. It simply broke his heart.

"J-Javi I'm so sorry about what she said… about everything, this scene, this argument, about the things I've told you… I'm just so tired of this, of having to step on eggshells all the time when we are out because people gossip about us, it's not fair we have to give up our wedding, our celebration of a new start because of a bunch of dicks around here… all the gossip was funny at first, but now's just tiring. I'm tired of having people telling me you're going to abandon me or you're going to cheat on me, because you're not" you held Javier's face between your hands and stared into his eyes "I know you'll never do this, we both know it" you sniffed sadly as Javi gently wiped the tears that insisted on falling down. 

"You're totally right, cariño… I'm tired of that too, I understand if you don't wanna marry me or if you don't wanna live in Laredo with me, but I thought of a solution to show these fucking hillbillies how we're meant to be for real: I want to have a big ranch wedding, it can be here, in the fields… we get a priest or whatever to bless our ceremony, we have a big party so we can show everyone how we are getting married for real, the whole town as a witness to our love, so they'll shut up about it. You can get your wedding dress handmade with the seamstress who lives a couple of miles away…" he suggested it, his heart hammering his ribcage as he watched you closely. "What do you say, mi amor? Will you still marry me?" 

And then Javi stared at you with his stupid, deep brown eyes, you could tell at that moment he would do anything for you and your heart clenched at how much you loved him, it just ran through your body, your veins, your pores. You loved Javier with your whole heart and soul and it was obvious you would still marry him.

_____

A/N: I hope you guys liked it 😭

[autisticlancemcclain]

Jackie supports the lion swap? How dare you!

Okay SO. This is not the first time I’ve gotten an ask or a comment like this, and I’m fully aware it’s a joke (or at least I think), but I also know that it is kind of a controversial topic on here! And I’ve already written an essay in the topic, but I have some more thoughts I’d like to dive into.

I used to be team Blue Paladin Lance, and hardcore on that team, too. If you look at some of my old fics, you’ll see that. However since I am a contrary person by nature, I started to notice that Red Paladin Lance was way less liked, and so I started to like it more. I really grew fond of the dynamic Keith and Lance got to have as co-leaders, both because it was homoerotic as hell and because the symbolism was fun to explore, but klance is not the main reason I started to care so deeply for the lion change — it was actually Shiro and Allura.

I’m going to start with Shiro, because he’s one of the most fascinating characters in VLD, if not underdeveloped. Part of that fascination for me is that he probably has the most arcs and opportunities for character growth and development in the show, and yet somehow he’s the flattest. He’s portrayed as very one-dimensional in a lot of fic — he tends to be less of a character and more of a role. He’s the Space Dad, or the older brother, or the cool teacher, or the kind and wise friend, or even the stoic Black Paladin. He is loved, I think, but the role he plays is loved, not quite the person he is. And that makes sense, because that is exactly how he’s portrayed in canon.

To Keith, Shiro is “like a brother to [him]”, but what do we see of that dynamic? The show has a clear sense of how a brother acts, that’s a good chunk of Pidge’s character. We barely even know Matt, but Pidge carries herself in such a way that it’s clear when her brother shines through her. And yet even though Shiro also goes missing, twice even, Shiro does not shine through his brother. Keith’s impulses are his own, developed from general abandonment issues rather than Shiro’s specific absence. Shiro’s absence becomes less of Shiro’s absence and more of an absence of a beloved leader figure, kind of a martyr, a “Shiro would have wanted you to carry on”. It is really hard for us as a fandom to use Shiro’s disappearance as anything but a plot device, because that’s all it felt like! We have occasional moments with Shiro, enough to care about him in some way, but as a figure, not as a person. Someone pointed it out on one of my fics and I agree wholeheartedly — Shiro is not shown with any flaws, and that makes it really hard to love him, because you don’t really get the pleasure of defending him, of seeing his motivations, his reasons. Not until the very end, at least.

This is, in all honesty, likely just poor writing. Shiro’s character was honestly just sidelined to a role, because he is really not that present in the show. But I am going to work with the benefit of the doubt, and see if I can use the lion change to explain why we all kind of love Shiro anyway, despite the fact that he’s flat as hell.

Shiro isn’t the Black Paladin. He never was. He flew the Black Lion, yes, and he flew her well — but he was never her Chosen. He couldn’t have been. From the very beginning, the Black Lion was in mourning; she was in no space to choose a new paladin. She accepted Shiro, and she loved him, but he did not fall into her as much as he fell into the role she provided for him. He piloted the Black Lion, but he was not her Paladin. This is made obvious in two ways: in that he never got her bayard, and that from the very beginning, he set up a replacement for himself.

Doesn’t that strike anyone else as odd? I haven’t seen the show in five years, and I don’t plan on rewatching, but I do remember that every moment with Shiro almost had this underlying tension. The closest thing I have to canon off the top of my head is the Handbook (which I had to stop reading because they did everyone SO dirty there, even though some of it was honestly pretty funny), which was released in S2, and even that incredibly early canon talked about Keith replacing Shiro!

From the very beginning, Shiro was planning an out to his role. He knew it was not meant for him. He did the role well, but it was not his to do.

Aside from those two reasons, Shiro also…can’t be the Black Paladin. He can’t be that and himself, I mean. This part is a little more complicated, so I’m going to borrow some of my own tags from some awesome fanart I saw:

I really do think Shiro is defined by his humanity (as is heavily implied by his illness — this is a character who is completely and totally bound to his mortality. Of all the other characters, he is the one most familiar with death, so he is the one who is most intimate with the raw fear of being human. But more on that later), but it’s my last comment that I want to focus on — “he is DEFINED by his his humanity…even as his greatest asset is the part of him that is not human”.

Every second that Shiro is leader of Voltron, he is the Champion. That can literally be his only goal — he is the head of the fight against Zarkon and the Empire. Either Shiro comes out the Champion, or Zarkon does. Either Shiro has to grit his teeth and fight off the flashbacks and the fear and the pain and use the one thing that forces him to reconcile with the fact that he had his entire personhood stripped away (his arm, his Galra arm, one of their biggest advantages as a team; his connection to Zarkon through Black, something that can only help the war effort at a direct cost to him; everything he does in this war is shoving him right back into that Arena again and again and again), or Zarkon wins. Every second Shiro pilots Black, every time he plays her paladin, he has to be who the Empire made him to be. He has to be the Champion. Once again he is not Takashi Shirogane, the person, the astronaut, the man, he is the Role. He is the Space Dad he is the Pilot of the Black Lion he is the Champion. For every second he is in that lion he is stripping away himself.

Obviously, that is something that was never sustainable. On this argument alone, Shiro was going to waste away eventually. There was always going to be a point where Shiro was not going to be able to be the Champion anymore. There was always, from the very way the dynamic was set up, going to have to be a lion switch. Now, interestingly enough, there could have been a really easy fix to this: Black Paladin Allura. She’s already a born and raised leader, already shown her immense competence, already someone the rest of the paladins follow. With her at the helm, nothing else would have to change, right?

Well, maybe. We’ll never know. One part of that is absolutely true — Allura should have been a paladin from the very beginning. Her quintessence is canonically closest to the entirety of Voltron (something that bears its own essay,; the relationship between all six of the paladins and Voltron is wrought with heavy symbolism), she is the most highly trained, she is smart, and she actually wants to be out on the field. She should have been in that armour from day one.

But Allura cannot be the Black Paladin. Allura cannot handle other’s sacrifice.

Of course this is a complicated subject. Should a leader sit back and let her crew sacrifice themselves instead of her? Must she hold herself in higher regard, convince herself she’s more important? Of course not! Teams, especially Voltron, are built with assets. While not everyone might be ‘equal’ in the traditional sense, they are all integral, and expecting sacrifices is not the stance I am trying to take here. But the point of a team, especially a team so small and vital as Voltron, is that everyone is willing to be the sacrifice, as they have to be, and Allura simply can’t handle that. She shows us this from the beginning, when she disguises herself as Galra and is taken in place of anyone on the team she barely knows, and again in Oriande with the White Lion, and finally in the piece of shit canon ending. Allura has to be the sacrifice. Every time.

And how could she not be? The last time she spared herself of sacrifice, she lost her entire people. The last time she let others sacrifice themselves for her, she was left alone, to shoulder a war bigger and greater than she could ever handle. Allura is painfully familiar with the agony of being the survivor, and she cannot do that again. She cannot and will not put herself through that again. As the Black Paladin, she would have to let her team make sacrifices — she would have to let them have their own agency, their own decisions; she would have to let them choose to get hurt and choose to do risky things and analyse and react and act. As leader she would have to trust her team to put themselves in harm’s way, and not only that, but she would have to authorize them to do so.

Like Shiro cannot last as the Champion, Allura cannot last as the Survivor. Shiro cannot even last in Voltron, and it is foolish to keep Allura out of it. A lion change is absolutely necessary for the show to move forward, for the war to move forward. The initial team was doomed to fail.

How would it change, then? What would fit? I know I’ve said my piece. I know who I think would fit where. But since I’ve been comparing character arcs to their roles as paladins, I’d like to keep doing that — what about Keith makes me so sure that he’s the true Black Paladin?

I’ll show you with process of elimination. I know Black Paladin Lance is a favourite, and I can see why. Lance has many leadership qualities, is a good tactician, and cares deeply. However, aside from his desire for power making him less suitable for the role, Lance functions best as support, despite how much he hates it. He is the one who knows how to pick up the pieces of a broken situation. He is an excellent guide, which makes him an unbelievably valuable second. He is adaptable, so he can fill in for many different roles. He can step in for leader when necessary, but putting him in Black would encourage a more active role for him; would force him to anticipate and plan for specific outcomes rather than his strength as one who analyses any outcome as it arises and works within it then. Lance could be the Black Paladin, yes, but taking him from the body and placing him in the head would be a fool’s choice. It would be crippling to Voltron, to put the jack of all trades as a master of one. Lance’s arc is all about learning to love and trust himself as he is, as the seventh wheel. Not to put him in charge of the vehicle.

Well, what about Hunk? Hunk is incredibly intelligent and analytical. He probably could lead Voltron, and did in several occasions. But Hunk’s arc is interesting because it was handled so early in the show. Unlike the rest of the team, Hunk’s arcs were solved largely in the first season. His biggest flaws were his distrust of people and, literally, his inability to fly. He could not take his feet off the ground. He was so untrusting that he could not manage to take a step forward. However his bonding with Yellow and trust with the team and their subsequent and returned trust resolved these issues, more or less, which is probably why Hunk was treated more and more like a side character the longer VLD went on. Hunk didn’t need the role of Black Paladin because he had settled into the Yellow Paladin in a way that was sustainable.

Pidge is in a similar boat. Her arc, primarily, has been about finding her family. Voltron was almost second priority for her, or at least not her only first priority. And understandably so! As the youngest she was afforded with that lenience. Her growth was about growing into her own pain, about becoming her own person alongside what she had become in the absence of her brother. As the Black Paladin, she would no longer have the space to prioritize her search for her family alongside Voltron, so her position as Black Paladin would be unstable. She is best suited in Green, where she can focus on several things at once.

That really only leaves Keith. In many ways it comes full circle — the Black Lion healing from her grief by choosing the man who ran from his Galran heritage and his power as a leader, rather than the man who chose nationalism and power over anything else. Keith is Zarkon’s direct opposite, and as such is the other side of the same coin, the one who is truly Black’s Chosen. We know this because Keith is the one who wields the Black Bayard, and Keith is, from the very beginning, the one the rest of the team chooses to follow — I ask you whether it was for Shiro that the three other humans ran off to chase in the desert, or Keith? Who was it that Lance could not leave alone? Who was it that piqued Hunk’s curiousity? Who was it that challenged Pidge to choose Voltron, rather than the search for her family?

That covers Black Paladin Keith. But what about Red Paladin Lance? I’ve established already why he cannot be the Black Paladin, but why did he have to move from Blue? For that, I bring you another few slices from early, S2 and previous canon:

“I thought what we had was special!” “Seventh wheel, if you count the Alteans.” More than once, Lance laments over being forgotten. He struggles with feeling like anything but the extra, the unnecessary. Whether or not Blue Chose him is irrelevant — he does not feel Chosen by her. The Pilot of the Blue Lion position for Lance is as unsustainable as the Pilot of the Black Lion position for Shiro — Lance does not trust it. He doesn’t trust himself in the role, and doesn’t trust Blue in having chosen it for him. Obviously, this is not the role for him.

But Red? Keith’s Red Paladin, at least? Yes, he struggles with feeling like Keith’s second, but that is literally his arc. Lance’s development is about becoming his own person despite his own misgivings about being second-best. His role as the Red Paladin is the fulfilling of his arc, and is thus the best Lion for him, the Chosen. And Red did Choose him, mind you. There was an adjustment period, of course there was, but Red did more than let Lance pilot her. She opened up new possibilities for Lance — think the broadsword — that he could not see. Red saw his potential and revelled in it. She Chose him.

Lastly — and this turned out to be less relevant to the essay than I expected, but I do want to go over it a tad — is Shiro’s tie to humanity. I mentioned two important points: Shiro’s connection to mortality makes him the most intimate with his humanity out of all the characters, and he is undoubtedly the flattest character of them all. That is, if you don’t consider his clone to be part of his character.

But I’m begging you to reconsider. Reconsider, perhaps, who the clone is — Haggar had pure access to Shiro for a year, you remember. His thoughts, his dreams, his mannerisms, his priorities, his body. Even him at his most human, his most deranged, his most scared. She had Shiro then. She had Shiro when he had nothing to look forward to. She had Shiro when he hurt his crew to make sure they would live, at direct cost to himself.

She stripped him of his humanity — his connection to his own mortality. She took his illness from him. And who, then, did she return to the team? Who was clone? Shiro, mostly. The clone was happy to play with the team. The clone was clever. The clone believed, fully, that he was Shiro, only he was angrier and meaner, a little, and less capable of shoving down his own pain. Shiro, stripped of his tie to humanity and mortality, stripped of his compulsive need to be strained and stressed and the one everyone else can rely on, the Role rather than the Person, is emotional. He has flaws and outbursts. He can’t manage his own pain. He is is cruelest to the one person on the team — Lance — who canonically reminds him closest of himself.

Shiro, in the purest form that Haggar can make him, is flawed and self-hating. That is where our love for him comes. Not the man who pushes himself down at the same time as he sacrifices his personality to be someone for others, but the man who is struggling and can’t keep it locked down. That’s where it comes from.

Anyways. Like with my other essay, I’ll admit that this analysis is probably reading into this. The writing of VLD was flawed, at best, but regardless, I think the lion change is a rich amalgamation of the characters and who they really are.

[carulenes]

an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

————

EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

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EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

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EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

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EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

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Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

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So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

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INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.