#how am i supposed to deal with that
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Obsessed with his brain
#read a fic where he had to eat someone in the basement to survive and I am... obsessed#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#fop dale#idk ask to tag#art#digital art#fanart#blood tw#cannibalism tw#ed tw#In my mind his relationship with Dev is crazy. Because he wants to love Dev so badly but he is just. incapable of it.#and it makes him hate himself#On some level he thought seeing Dev would fix him. That he would feel all those things a dad is instinctively supposed to#and it would prove he wasn't broken. That deep down hes still human. that he's still capable of love just like everyone else#.And then he didnt. and he had no idea how to deal with it#In a way hes kind of scared of Dev. Dev makes him feel so uncomfortable with himself. so he just kind of avoids him.#Which um. thats your son sir you cant do that.#I love dale but he should absolutely not be a father. He is just not built for it
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okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel
#charlie also a bit bc dean doesn't have to be desirable to her as a man or as a son#altho i would argue that she doesn't see through him he just doesn't perform as much for her. cas actively sees through it#this is why sam has never caught on to dean being queer also. btw. dean isn't closeted he's just never made a big deal of telling sam#you never really know your parents just the version of them they want you to see etc etc#anyway this is also why sam is thought to be More Sensitive in comparison#by people who have also fallen for the Act. i call this the General Audience Dean Act#because it was who he was SUPPOSED to be from kripke's pen until jensen went ummmmm no. he has trauma :) and forcibly gave him layers#this is also not samcrit btw i always need to clarify that#i am bad at sam studies but i think you could also write posts (and ppl have) about how dean doesn't truly know sam either#bc he has Little Baby Brother zoned him forever even though he is almost 40 by the end of s15
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EVAN BUCKLEY + close-up 23/?
#okay that last one is one of my favourite shots of him like EVER#the pain the agony for the man for himself for not finding out the key to happiness for not being able to help#how am i supposed to deal with all that??#😭😭😭#evan buckley#buckcloseups#my gif#911#911 abc#911edit#911 6x02#anztag#useraimz#usernolan#911gifs
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we're at it again🕺
#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah#genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him#and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think#and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around#technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed...#but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him-#but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff#i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail#plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny#but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword...#but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway#am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes#am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes
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Jürgen Klopp after his last away game managing LFC
#nope.#simply typing the caption feels wrong#number 3 like HOW am I supposed to deal with that#Sunday is gonna be horrible#Jürgen Klopp#Jurgen Klopp#LFC#Liverpool FC#23/24#football#meins
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ao3 is down and i am on vacation.
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#matthew porretta#tv: the new adventures of robin hood#how am i supposed to deal with his face#absurd.
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the family when it is found or something along the same lines
#THE MATCHING OUTFITS. MY PRINCESS DANCING LUA RECORDING LINEMAN BLUSHING JASON AND BRAD EMBARASSED JERRY OBLIVIOUS TO JAKE'S PRESENCE...#literally everything is perfect about them omg#how am i supposed to let go of big deal brainrot#side note whose foot is it in thelast frame lmaooo#lookism#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#big deal#lookism big deal#jake kim#kim gimyung#jerry kwon#kwon jitae#lua im#lua lookism#jason yoon#brad lee#samuel seo#seo seongun#sinu han#han shinwoo
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I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever
#also the book is just so fucking good#and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character#and how crazy the book writes him#like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave#any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr#its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise#like u can do anything#and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS#tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing#and also twelve#like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book#accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him#exactly how his father warned him#and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like#and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack#like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history#by delving deep into ggy#like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting#ggy never stop being awesome#pandas.txt#obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason#tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together#also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like#even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that#even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him#and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past#like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then
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oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:
"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.
i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.
i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."
#this was supposed to be a quick summary of his character. help.#this is a quick warning about the other bigger post i am writing about him and how his Whole Deal and World View is and why he's being so#soft with forever despite the Nightmare Horrors#to put it more simply: he's built different#qsmp#bbh#q badboyhalo#qsmp character analysis#<- more like qsmp character 'here is everything about this character but hang on there's even More'#HELLPPPPP IM IN THE TRENCHESSSS#did you know there's a 4096 character limit on a block of text. guess how i found that out#but everything is SO IMPORTANT to how he reacts to everything else#he holds grudges like nobody's business but he's also a hypocrite and plays favourites#he's stubborn and Chooses enemies and friends and there are always lines to cross but he understands context#and the forever thing has the context of bad looking at him and going 'i know what you're feeling. i know why you're doing this.'#'i know i would be worse'
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Your tag is keeping on playing in my head. Like - just how much of Tales had Jack spent thinking of his revenge and taking over it all. And how much he actually enjoyed spending time. Could he really look through Rhys' memories or was it just some folders Rhys kept on his Echo Eye. Was he just thinking about how to use him or did he catch himself being actually proud of him and happy to be stuck in this guys head specifically. Grrrrr hologram Jack tell us more
I personally think Jack had some type of attachment to Rhys, even if it wasn’t his intentions like… at all. Sure, getting back on Helios and taking over Rhys body was always the main goal, and whether he came to like Rhys or not wasn’t gonna stop him from going through with his plan, but Jack was almost predisposed to eventually become obsessed with him. Strap in, I’m about to ramble
First of all, I imagine that Rhys reminded him a lot of Angel. Rhys was young, he looked up to Jack almost naively so, but he was snarky and also defied him sometimes which Angel did too. I made a real long post about this a couple months ago but basically, Rhys and Angel share a lot of similarities in how Jack treated them. Jack probably did feel proud over Rhys at times, and thankful that it was Rhys and not some other Hyperion employee with the personality of a napkin. It feels more personal than just “let’s manipulate this kid and take his body”, even if that ultimately was the end goal. And after Jack was plugged into Helios and found out about what happened to not just Angel but Nisha as well? Not to mention Wilhelm being dead and Timothy leaving for the casino? Rhys was the only one Jack somewhat trusted who wasn’t already dead or long gone
But also, imagine this: you’re quite literally inside someone else’s brain. Everything you see and hear, everywhere you go, everyone you interact with, is through this dweeb with the most questionable fashion sense on Pandora (which says a LOT). No one can see you except for him. You’re dependent on him in every sense of the word. If he pisses you off, you can’t do your usual routine of beating or killing him. You HAVE to get close to (or at the very least, used to) him, something your paranoid ass hasn't allowed yourself to do for years
And honestly, Rhys’ software has bled into Jack as much, if not more, as the Jack AI has bled into Rhys. This is just my personal headcanon but I definitely think some part of Jack felt a little hollow when he left Rhys’ head on Helios, almost like having a tooth ripped out (or… being the tooth that got ripped out). Some part of him expected Rhys to be as dependent on Jack as Jack was on him, which is why he thought Rhys would just mindlessly agree to essentially be his meat puppet. But then he not only rejected him, he tried to leave too. The only one Jack had left, who became such a huge part of his holographic life, physically and emotionally. The only one who hadn’t died, left or abandoned him up until this point, wanted to leave
Jack was back on Helios, back on his throne, and he had everything in his power to regain control of Hyperion. Despite how horrified Rhys was over Jack’s plan, he didn’t have any intentions to kill Jack, and had Rhys been any less important to Jack, he could have let him go or commanded someone else go after him while he focused on getting another employee to give him their body. The only problem was that Jack was attached to Rhys and took this as a betrayal, just like Angel and Moxxi had been close to him until they betrayed him too. So what if Helios paid the price for Jack’s revenge? So what if Jack was going to die killing Rhys? It was too personal to not risk everything for
This is a very complicated way of saying I definitely think Jack cared about Rhys, whether that be because he was emotionally attached or because he was literally inside this guy’s brain and couldn’t help but get attached. Everywhere he looked, there was Rhys and only Rhys. So yeah, he DEFINITELY thought about Rhys a lot. Probably more so than Katagawa did. It’s a special kind of horrific <3
#borderlands#handsome jack#rhys strongfork#rhack#txt#shinakazami1#this is going in the tag cause i need everyone to see how insane i am#kinda unrelated but it grinds my gears when people boil down their relationship to 'jack is just using rhys'#ITS TRUE. but theres more to it than that if you just think deeper about it#like use your imagination!! fill in the gaps!!#thats what makes rhack specifically soooo fun to think about#at least for me#and this whole ramble is also another thing i love abt rhys missing and possibly hallucinating jack sometimes even as of new tales#theyre intertwined for life whether they wanted to be or not#and rhys is the one who came out alive so hes the one who has the deal with this hole in his head where jack was supposed to be#its like the roles have switched#... again
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#like how am i supposed to deal with louis imagining lestat looking at him like this.#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers
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nah srs has anyone else saw a picture of themselves and wanted to lock themselves on the bathroom to cry for 4 hours straight or its just me?
*making myself a pinterest board and revisiting it every night in order to know myself* self care
#sometimes i stare at the mirror like fuck this is who j am#ill have this face for the rest of my life#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THAT#does that count as dissociation consequence because I sure feel like it#dissociative disorder#actually depressed#text post#abt me#body image disorder
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BAD DEPARTING ALL THIS WISDOM ABOUT GRIEF OM THE EGGS SO THE KIDS THEMSELVES CAN FOLLOW IT WHEN HE DIES............
#WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU ALWAYS ASK “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW” AND “HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS”#AND HES LITERALLY GIVING THEM THE ANSWER#I HATE IT HEREEEEE#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp richarlyson
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Yearning for season two to give us Canon Lilith Personality™ and open the fic writer floodgates for a wider variety of Hellradio stories.
There's a lot of pure smutfic out there already, and that's all well and good if that's your thing, but the Possibilities of exploring a fucked up polycule between Hell's monarchs and our resident radio demon beyond that, and all the political implications and drama that would entail, intrigue me to no end. I'm honestly so here for it. Need it in all its Messy Glory.
#i suppose it's possible for ppl to take a wholesome route with it in au form#but if alastor's deal really is with lilith like everyone speculates then there's not really any getting around the power imbalance#gotta deal with that head-on#and yeah there's the obvious power imbalance present in radioapple too. but in this case lucifer's not the one literally owning al's soul#but in either case lol exploring that is what makes it interesting#hellradio#royal radio#radioapple#radioqueen#lucilith#i dunno how coherent this is. it's like 1 am and im rambling and sleep deprived#hazbin hotel#hellaverse#alastor#lilith morningstar#lucifer morningstar
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tumblr's dying. again.
so who'd shocked? this is like, the 3rd death, at least. i don't know, this place has been driving into the ground more times than i can count and god knows it's not like the current management has done any better.
when you need a dashboard unfucker script on top of a rewritten xkit to make it manageable, maybe you have a history of issues.
but here, this post explains what's going on better than i can.
the original post had its reblogs locked so i can't do that, this will have to do.
#tumblr#tumblr dying#rip tumblr#is this ooc?#we just don't know#i mean it's real news#but this is what i do on tumblr#so how else am i supposed to deal with this?
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