#how about- and hear me out on this- we let people believe what they want to and only try to change their beliefs if it harms people | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

symphonyofmars · 2 days ago

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There was something I wanted to add as i saw people arguing back and forth (and this might be against my better judgement): but I believe the first post I saw referenced Bell Hooks, and then I later saw someone else say that the use of her quote was bullshit. The quote had to do with being compassionate towards men, and then the person responding said that wasn't what the quote is about (iirc, it's been a few days and my sense of time is not great) but having read The Will to Change (which I believe the quote was taken from), that's exactly what it was about.

[adding a read more because this became much longer than I intended it to be]

The book discusses how the patriarchy hurts not just women, but ALSO men, and how it's so much harder to rehabilitate men from it because: they think they stand something to gain from cramming themselves into the box they're supposed to fit into, and, many of them just have no idea that their life could even be different. That they could be an artist if they want to, they could dance if they want to, they could go into childcare if they want to or grow their hair long or write poetry or paint their nails-- that there are no "boy colors" and "girl colors", that there are no "men's jobs" and "women's jobs", that they could just do what they want because it makes them happy. They don't even know that being happy is more important than filling their sociological niche that someone else has carved out for them. It reminds me when I learned the story of Siddhartha Gautama when I was little, and that he had no idea that poverty, sickness, and suffering even existed because he had never been outside the palace walls and, not that I'm saying every man can achieve nirvana in an afternoon (or even in a lifetime), sometimes someone who knows what's outside the walls has to let you know that there is even something beyond the walls.

Which is also not to say that women need to be doing all the work for men. I spent ten years trying to disabuse a man of the "things he has to do to be manly" and it ended with him breaking up with me and joining a trad christian cult.

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Some men (like my ex) are just extremely resistant to change because change is terrifying, but they also have this sense of Sunk Cost Fallacy, where if they were doing this thing the whole time and it's not working, then what were they wasting their time on?? (I feel like you see this with a lot of evangelical/trad Christians as well, where the idea that they might have been wrong is so scary that they double down on their beliefs in the hope that it will work out for them.)

But, there are also men like a book reviewer I was watching a few days ago (whose name I don't know), who admitted that he really had no idea women were catcalled as much as we say we are, until he was grocery shopping with his girlfriend and she went into the next aisle (literally like five feet away, just with the wall of food between them) and he heard a man catcall her. Like, the second she walked away from him and she no longer obviously belonged to him (in the mind of horrible men like her catcaller) she was suddenly fair game to be harassed in public. And he said that he never didn't believe his girlfriend, but to witness something makes it so much more real. To use my "wall" metaphor another way: he and so many men are still inside the palace, experiencing what they think is the same life others experience, while women are outside of the walls, struggling. The incident of hearing his girlfriend (who is an adult women and who shouldn't need him constantly around as protection from horrible men) being treated like an object while she's by herself was like someone grabbing his hand and pulling him outside the walls without even asking if he wanted to go, showing him a truth that can only be experienced by someone who is not him.

Back to Bell Hooks because there was something I wanted to add: yes she does say that it is at least partly the job of feminists to help to deprogram men. Men, as a group, have been brainwashed to think that they have to be The Provider, The Protector, The Leader, and not all of them are good at providing, protecting, or leading. Maybe some of them want to do the things I mentioned before like care for others (in the way we would describe as "maternal" and attribute to women), maybe they want to create art or do crafts or other things not considered "traditionally masculine", and that's not even taking into account that the "traditional idea" of a man is to be constantly wanting sex, and that men could never be sexually assaulted because they're in a constant state of wanting to fuck (obviously this is a lie; anyone can be sexually assaulted, and not everyone wants to fuck). You can't just take a dog who was taught only to fight and put it in a house of children, it won't know how to act around them and might attack them: it needs to be rehabilitated first.

And Bell Hooks does note, that the problem with trying to deprogram men comes from how they're raised. I'd like to submit this video about men and empathy, since I've already typed a bunch:

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When I was reading The Will To Change and I got up to the part about her dad, I realized how different my dad is. And, because you don't get to choose your parents, I consider myself very lucky that my dad has always been unconditional in his love. For a moment I almost found this strange because his older brother was the "golden child" and his younger brother was "the baby", so he should have been somewhat neglected because they always got more affection from their parents, but I think it's because he was the favorite of his four girl cousins who would take him everywhere and fight over him (even now, he's the one they're excited to see and they shittalk the other two lol). So, I have a sneaking suspicion that the only reason he didn't end up shitty like his brothers, is because when he was a child he had four girls who were showing him what unconditional love was like and that you don't need to meet the criteria of your niche in order to receive love.

Which, I have to thank them for, because it's so much easier not having to decide whether or not I want to talk to my own parents as an adult because they've gone Fox News Insane. Both my parents will actually ask me about things they don't understand - like trans rights, queer rights in general, voting (I made them a paper of who/what to vote for for the election since the props always need extra research), geopolitical things - and I've even caught my dad making fun of conspiracy theorists and the thinking that trans women are ruining sports (he's a big sports guy and he mostly watches women's bball because he likes that they actually have to play as a team in a team sport). Life is a lot easier when both parents have empathy and don't have to be convinced to care about others.

And I think that's why the OG post I saw quoted Bell Hooks, because the "we need to rehabilitate men otherwise we can't have the feminist future we want" contingent of feminism never really took off; there was one-- I believe they were originally called "Meninists" as in "men who are feminists" and I've seen a picture of them from a parade in the 70s, but it died out because they were fighting such an uphill battle trying to convince other men to join. So now, we have more women who are independent and who have de-centered men from their lives, but also a bunch of men who were never rehabbed and who don't know their life doesn't need to revolve around "being a man." Being a man means being strong, it means being able to provide, it means being attractive; and the Tates and Fresh and Fits and all the other scam artists of the world sell them this on steroids: buy my book and you WILL be hot, you WILL be a millionaire, you WILL have women who want to fuck you...

Never mind that those guys are probably on actual steroids, they only have that money from scamming other men, and many of them have been found to hire escorts (which, there's nothing wrong with hiring sex workers, but there's a difference between selling the idea that you'll be so charismatic that women will throw themselves at you and having to hire a sex worker because your personality is so bad that no one wants to go near you.)

They're selling a false ideal to men who don't even know it's false in the first place.

But going back to Ms Hooks again: she did talk a great deal about how we need to raise our boys (as a society). She talks about how the whole thing of telling a nine-year old "Take care of your mother" is an insane notion, because he's nine and he can't do anything, and she's an adult woman who is actually the caretaker; and about how boy babies are treated so differently even to the point of "baby boys should not cry as much as baby girls". Like, the gender requirements are there before they can even talk, no wonder they're so damaged and hard to convince of anything later in life.

Reads with Rachel and her husband, Carlos, had two really good discussions about masculinity; one about real masculinity vs performed masculinity as they compared two books about being a man:

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As Rachel says after Carlos complained about being made fun of for cleaning his nails after working on his car ("I work an office job and I have cleanliness standards"): "It's not enough for you to know how to work on a car, you also have to be dirty in order to be the manliest man."

The other is in the context of talking about how Patrick Rothfuss isn't the feminist he thinks he is because he still wants the women around him to perform femininity so he can perform masculinity and feel like "a big strong man" before going into a general discussion about masculinity (from about 9:01 to 53:55):

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Together they ask a really good question (pardon me if I don't remember it verbatim): "Why does it take someone acting in a particular role for you to feel like a man?" And it's easier for Carlos to be able to deal with that question, because he started deconstructing from the patriarchy when he was 25 (he said he's 32 at the time of that video). It's something he and Rachel have done together as they learn and grow and live their lives together, him deconstructing from the patriarchy and her deconstructing from her fundamentalist christian upbringing (which is basically just The Patriarchy, but More, and +God.) And they've done this because they came to realize their upbringing was wrong, and they didn't want to raise their sons to be saddled with the same baggage that they both grew up with that made their lives worse.

So yeah, I forgot where I was going with this anymore since finding the one video took so long. The majority of men are resistant to changing their mind and it's because they were raised to be unemotional and not care about others but, sometimes, if maybe you've been friends with someone a while and take the time to explain something in a way they understand, you can change someone's mind. Story time:

I was a mod for a streamer for about a month and a half roundabouts January to February of this year (I ended up leaving because trying to get a bunch of randos to behave was stressful - esp since the streamer's rules weren't clear - and I ended up not really liking the streamer as a person). One person in the discord said that they hated the phrase "It's not my job to educate you" because it was condescending. I defended it as people being tired of having to explain shit to people just because they're black or trans or a woman but a bunch of people latched on and started saying anti-left things, which was weird because the streamer and his discord were supposed to be leftist (it's part of why I left, he was just weirdly antagonistic towards leftist ideals despite calling himself a leftist and he was attracting some *ahem* weird types). Anyway, a day goes by and a trans person comes in and says something like "I don't think I should have to explain my existence to random people on the street just because I decided to go outside," and a bunch of people descended on them, telling them they were wrong, and I'm pretty sure they ended up leaving the server.

[Like, the original group-agreed-upon argument came down to "I shouldn't have to google things or look up books to read or do my own work to discover anything new about the world, I should be able to demand of a random person's time and energy, even though I'm not giving off the vibe of someone who is actually ready to listen" and when I pointed out that people know when someone is and is not ready to listen, the streamer himself asked me how I knew and I was like like "do you think that I, a woman in her 30s, is somehow incapable of being able to discern intent?" Most women and queer folk KNOW who's a bad actor before they open their mouth, the idea that any of us wouldn't was just wildly ignorant.]

I complained to my friend (who I had met in the server) that the streamer was wrong and everyone's reaction was bullshit and, at first, he agreed with the position that a trans person should be prepared to debate people on their own rights if they deign to step outside their home. I countered with "You know, [streamer] doesn't it get it because he's a straight white man. He's the default. Other straight white men already know what it's like to be a straight white man so they have no questions for him. But to be trans or otherwise queer or a woman or any other person outside of a white man, is to have people question whether you have a right to be where you are. Trans women I've known have told me that they've had complete randos ask them if they've had bottom surgery and just-- how is that their business? People act so invasive towards non-straight non-white non-men in a way that no one does towards straight white men that they literally just can't understand what it's like to have your existence questioned just because you went outside. Asking a stranger if they've had bottom surgery is LITERALLY sexual harassment, and no one would ever walk up to someone like [streamer] and ask him like, "How big is your dick?" or something of a similar nature because that's just insane behavior, but when it's a trans person or a woman, it's suddenly okay? Like why do you think that is?" And my comparison to how white men are treated vs everyone else, and my stance that asking a stranger if they've had bottom surgery is sexual harassment (it is, no one needs to know about your genitalia) got through to him and he agreed with me. Awhile later I even heard him saying something similar to someone else about a situation that was similar and taking up the stance that I had given him.

So like... yeah, I probably wouldn't do that for a random man on the internet who is determined to hate me, but I can do it for a friend who I know might be receptive to what I have to say to him, and help steer him away from opinions that could end up dragging him down the wrong path.

As this post's OP said: "it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it!"

It's up to you if you want to try effecting the people around you, but if they've dug in their heels that much then it's okay if you want to leave and not speak to them again. Just know that, it's only so hard for you because they were brainwashed since birth to think the way they think and that's REALLY hard to undo. And that's not a pass, that's just the reason why this is so fucking hard for the rest of us (when they're adults and harder to reason with because they're so invested) and also, the reason why mothers of sons need to maybe rethink how they're raising them. Like, don't raise them with "boy colors" and "girl colors" raise them with "colors." Dance isn't something a girl does, it's something a body does. Women don't cook because cooking is a woman's thing, people cook because they want to eat. And... I'll be honest, I've known a few women who are just so mean to their husbands in a "why can't you be a real man?" way, and I just DON'T see how that makes him want to be a better person, but then again, those woman probably need as much deprogramming as their husbands do since they just keep reinforcing something that (she may not even be aware) is hurting them both.

So yeah, sorry if this was a bit rambling, but seeing people fight back and forth for the past week and seeing people take up some really... Mad Max-ian, like, ultra-anarcho-capitalist positions of "we shouldn't help any man at all, fuck em!" was really weird when it was being said by people who purport themselves as being feminists when feminist ethics is supposed to be more compassionate. There were just a handful of reactions I saw that seemed very "pull yourself up out of the patriarchy by your bootstraps" but like... what if their boots don't have bootstraps? What if they don't even have shoes on? What if they don't even know they could have shoes?

posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.

those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.

radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.

ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!

"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.

it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?

#I spent all morning writing this instead of working 😫

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bimbo-baggins17 · 2 days ago

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HIIIIII PRETTY

Just askin', do you have any thoughts about being Hayden's high school love? Maybe the relationship even turn out in a marriage? Huhauahaua, I'd loveeeee to hear your thoughts about it.

Kisses kisses, have a great week💘

Thank you sweetheart, I hope you have an amazing week too. MWA 💋 This was such a cute little idea oh my goshhh

I feel like it might not have lasted the full amount of time from high school to present day BUT there wouldn’t be a day where he didn’t think about you even when he was with someone else. Probably ended up being that you guys parted ways as his career took off just because you didn’t want to feel like you were holding him back. There was no bad blood or any grudges held between you both, just a mutual parting of ways, not saying that it didn’t hurt either of you.

Just as his feelings never went away, your’s didn’t either despite both of you attempting to move on and start a family somewhere else. Obviously we know what happened with him and Rachel. After that, he allowed himself to indulge a little more in the ideas of ‘what if’ with you even if he doesn’t think it would happen. He assumed you had settled down and started your own family with someone who wasn’t him.

You’ve pursued a career in journalism and media and end up running into him on an off chance at some event you were hired to write about or interview people. When he sees you, he can’t believe his eyes. You’ve obviously aged like he had but he instantly recognizes you and finds you just as beautiful as the first time he laid eyes on you. He wastes no time in approaching you. “Hey, long time no see. You remember me right?” You are equally as stunned to see him, instantly recognizing him and his voice even if it’s more gravelly from the years of smoking. Your face splits into a grin, “Of course I remember you, how could I not?” He’d laugh awkwardly, “I didn’t want to seem too cocky. How’ve you been? You look incredible by the way.”

This had to be a sign right? He could finally get a do-over at being happy with you and he wouldn’t pass it up. You’d spend a few minutes catching up with small conversation, not like this place was the correct time for a reunion. He ends up letting you go reluctantly but not before having you give him your number. He’d waste zero time in reaching out to grab some coffee and to catch up.

It’s like no time had ever passed between you two, feeling like you were in high school all over again. The feelings were still very much so there, if not stronger. He doesn’t let you slip through his fingers this time, within months he’s proposing and you’re moving in because he’s never been so sure about anything in his life ever before.

You’re the first person he’s ever fully settled down with and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#rain answers ˚₊‧꒰ა 🌧️ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#hayden christensen #anon #thanks for the ask

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blindmagdalena · 2 days ago

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Related to the last ask about Gilded Cage, and reader finding out about Billy/what happened to Becca. How would you go about reader finding out Homelander is a rapist? Not just in that verse, but in any fic?

The only time I've seen this play out is a Homelight fic where Annie knows about what happened to Becca. But she sort of "forgives" Homie or rather choses to ignore it, because she also finds out that (in that particular story, not in canon, obviously) he was repeatedly sexually assaulted as a kid. So, she doesn't justify it, but sort of understands why he did it.

Besides that, I can't think of any story where Homie's s/o found out about what he did. Do you think it would be the end of the relationship? Would reader gaslight herself into thinking it wasn't really rape, as many women (sadly) do? I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

it's a tough topic and i don't begrudge people who choose not to address it. it's also honestly just kind of a difficult thing to work in unless homelander himself freely admits to it (won't happen) or someone like butcher tells them.

there's also a lot of dub/noncon fics where it's just. kind of a moot point. if the relationship evolves from that in the first place, they can't really "find out" that he's a rapist. they've got firsthand experience. and yeah, in that case there usually is a ton of gaslighting and rationalizing going on. this is kind of what's going on in Gilded Cage right now where feelings are developing despite the fact he's keeping her against her will, and she still doesn't know if he's done something like this (or worse) before. which... we know he has.

but i do have lots of fics where the reader has no idea the extent of his damage and what he's done, and they would be properly horrified. Guilty Pleasures is a good example of a fic where i believe this revelation would end the relationship for SURE. she would not be able to reconcile that.

honestly you could take any one of my lighter/consensual fics and follow them up with the events of The Breakup / You Let Me Complicate You, which could just as easily have been about finding out that he's a rapist. it turns into a situation where the reader wants out, and he's simply not going to let them go.

the level of consent in Say It is also extremely questionable. basically noncon early on. would the reader here be shocked to learn he's done this to someone else? no. and she's already pretty well given into his corruption by this point.

whereas the reader in Don't Fret Precious (I'm Here) is a total loon, and would very readily excuse his actions. might actually be jealous because she's just. my ultimate yandere homelander simp. but she's definitely an outlier lol

ultimately it depends on the type of story you want to tell, and what kind of person you're writing against him. it's up to the author if that particular s/o believes the information at all, or if they let themselves believe that it's a terrible lie, and that their hero would never do that. or... maybe it makes perfect, horrible sense to them, and they either can or can't live with that.

i do think it's an interesting (albeit brutal) topic and one i'm open to exploring in the future! i can see myself going down any number of these potential avenues, depending on the vibe/character personality i'm working with.

#thanks for the ask! 🖤#darling anon #ask and you shall receive #homelander x reader #homelander headcanons #rape cw

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messrmoony71 · 1 day ago

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Romantic Moonlily - as requested by @sorcave - 1615 words

Sorry, I got a bit carried away and we ended up with wolfstar as well bc I am a weak person. enjoy <3 (or don't, I can't tell you what to do :)

“Hey, lilyflower,” Remus grinned, dropping onto the window seat beside Lily. She immediately leaned towards him, her head resting on his shoulder, her weight against his side. “Tough Monday?”

“I hate Slughorn,” she muttered, legs kicking in the air outside the open window. “He’s creepy and annoying! He constantly checks on my potion and acts surprised when I’m better than most of the class.”

“All,” Remus corrects, taking her hands in his. “Slughorn’s an incapable professor anyway, he doesn’t give us any instructions besides: ‘Lupin stop stirring before your potion explodes!’.”

Lily snorted at his shoddy impersonation of Slughorn’s booming voice and squeezed Remus’ hands. Her eyes drifted to the Quidditch pitch where two figures were weaving through the stands. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” She asked quietly.

“James?” Remus frowned. He knew James had a crush on Lily, but he hadn’t been anything but supportive since they got together.

“No, Sirius.”

“Why do you need to be forgiven by Sirius?” His stomach swirled with unease. Lily and Sirius were his two most favourite people and he’d hate to be caught in the middle of a row, he wouldn’t be able to choose a side.

Lily shrugged, pulling her knees up to her chest and leaning slightly away from Remus. He let him arm drop from where it had come up around her waist and waited for her to speak. “He’s just mad at me. Ever since we started dating. I don’t know why, it’s not like I’ve done anything against him and you spend the same amount of time with each other as you did before.” She let out a long breath. “I don’t know, it just bugs me.”

“I can talk to him if you want.”

“I don’t want to get in more trouble with him.”

Remus frowned and brought his arm up around her shoulders and she fell into his side once more. “Lily, you’re my girlfriend, he’s my best friend. You’re both important to me and I want you to get along. I’ll sort this out, promise.”

Remus did not, in fact, sort it out.

On Tuesday, Lily and Remus were studying together in the Library, silently pouring over History of Magic notes and textbooks, when James and Sirius had come clattering into the Library and thrown themselves in the bench beside Lily and Remus. James leant into Remus side, reading unnecessarily over his shoulder.

“Ooh, Vampish Rebellions through history, how intriguing.”

“It’s not,” remus sighed. “What do you two want?”

“We need a prank,” Sirius announced, throwing his arms up, knocking an ink pot over that spilt onto Lily’s carefully laid out notes. Sirius didn’t seem to notice, instead launching into an animated rant about Filch and pink dye.

“Sirius, apologise to Lily,” Remus cut in, watching as Lily carefully salvaged as many of her notes as she could. Unfortunately the ink had gotten anywhere. Sirius didn’t seen to hear him and kept planning the prank, now involving Mrs Norris as well. “Sirius,” Remus snapped, and Sirius stopped talking immediately. He glanced down at Lily’s notes.

“Spill you ink, flower? Gonna have to be more careful than that,” Sirius smirked, turning to James to continue his prank planning, since Remus clearly wasn’t interested.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Remus snapped when Lily abruptly stood up and left the library, her ruined notes still scattered across the table.

Sirius frowned. “What?”

“I cannot believe you!” Remus snarled, gathering his and Lily’s things and hurrying after her.

By Wednesday, Sirius had managed to avoid all mention of Lily, even when she was standing next to Remus. It was like she didn’t exist to him and it was really starting to get on Remus' nerves. It clearly got to Lily more than she let on, he’d noticed her nails had been bitten and dried blood often lined the edges.

He decided he needed to properly try.

So by Thursday night, when Sirius still had ignored Lily during a group hangout in the common room, he’d followed the other boy to their dorm. Remus waited by the door, blocking Sirius’ only exit and when Sirius emerged from the bathroom, he jumped, startled that Remus had followed him up.

“Merlin, Moony, you scared me.”

“We need to talk,” Remus said, crossing his arms in a way that he hoped looked serious.

Sirius tried to act calm, but Remus noticed his face pale slightly. “We’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“Why do you keep ignoring Lily?” Remus asked before Sirius could steer the conversation away. “Frankly, it’s quite rude and it’s getting on everyone’s nerves.”

“I’m not ignoring her,” Sirius huffed, collapsing onto his bed. Remus stalked over so he was standing over Sirius. He was getting mad now. Sirius was acting like a child.

“Are you determined to make her upset? Angry? Do you want her to break up with me because my best friend can’t keep his shit together?”

“No-“

“Then what is your problem?” Remus shouted, fed up. He hated yelling at Sirius, it caused the other boy to jump every time, but he couldn’t not. Sirius was being a right prick and Remus needed answers.

Sirius didn’t answer right away, only turned his head away from Remus, sitting up with a slight groan. “My problem is you, Remus,” Sirius said, quiet enough that Remus almost missed it.

“Me? Why me?”

Sirius turned to look at Remus again, only this time his eyes were clouded and distant. Remus didn’t like it. He wished the shine in Sirius’ eyes would come back, he hated seeing him sad.

“You always do that,” Sirius muttered. “Act surprised when people notice you.”

“You’re not noticing me, you’re blaming me for something I haven’t done!” Sirius didn’t look at him when he stood up and crossed to the window, his arms folded over his chest, hugging his middle. “Sirius…” Remus sighed and followed his friend, leaning against the wall and studying his profile. “What’s going on?” He asked, gently. He realised now he probably shouldn’t have shouted. It was wrong, but he was desperately trying to fix something before it broke.

Sirius exhaled a long breath, eyes fixed firmly on the mountains past the Quidditch pitch. “You. You’re happening.”

Even more confusing, come on Pads. “Care to elaborate?”

“You.” Sirius turned to him and gestured to Remus’ whole body. “You and your sweaters and cardigans and books and chocolate and honey coloured eyes-“ Sirius cut himself off by pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. When he blinked them open again, Remus guessed he was seeing stars. “You and your kindness,” Sirius continued quietly, staring hard at his feet.

“Sirius…do you…” Remus bit his lip, slowly understanding.

Sirius hadn’t been mad at Lily, he was jealous of her. Sure, ignoring her wasn’t the kindest thing to do, but it was so undoubtably Sirius of him. Sirius Black had a crush on Remus Lupin. Him. Swotty, uncoordinated Remus who he’d know for almost five years. Remus felt a pang of guilt for not noticing sooner. He could’ve been more sensitive. Since James was obviously smitten with Lily, he felt bad telling him about all the kind things she did, so he’d gone to Sirius instead. He should have kept it to himself. Or gone to Pete. Peter was so in love with his Hufflepuff girlfriend, Eleanor, there was no chance of him being jealous of either of them.

“I like you, Remus,” Sirius said quietly, a tear catching in his lashes. “And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I’m sorry for telling you all about Lily, I should have been more considerate.”

“S’not your fault,” Sirius mumbled, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling, trying not to let any more tears escape. “Should’ve gotten over it.”

“We can keep doing this, blaming ourselves, or, we can talk about what it means,” Remus said gently when he guessed the conversation was about to run in circles.

“What’s there to talk about? You’re dating Lily, you’re going to fall in love-“

“Sirius, stop being destructive. I like Lily, yes, maybe I love her, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be any less of a friend to me. You’re still my best friend and I’m still going to do all the things I did before. I don’t care how smitten you are, I’m still crawling into your bed after a nightmare.”

Sirius’ cheeks bloomed red slightly, but he nodded, letting his eyes fall from the ceiling and settle on Remus’. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I think I might just stay up here for a bit.”

Remus nodded. “Alright. Just holler if you need anything, alright?”

Remus quietly closed the door and tried not to fall down their dizzyingly tight spiral stairs to the common room. Lily looked up when he walked back in, her eyes wide in question. Remus shook his head, talk later, he mouthed, crossing the room to her side. James and Peter had passed out on each other, both snoring softly. Marlene and Dorcas-who had yet to return to her common room-were curled together on the couch, having a whispered conversation involving lots of giggling. Remus resumed the game of chess with Lily, but eventually felt himself slipping into a sleepy daze. Lily notice and pulled him into her lap, her soft hands brushing through his hair. Remus let out a deep exhale and shuffled until he was comfortable on the fluffy rug.

Love you, Lilyflower, his sleepy brain mumbled, unknowing he’d said the words aloud.

Lily’s hand paused in his hair for the briefest second before she bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. “Love you too, Moons.”

#moonlily #marauders #dead gay wizards from the 70s #remus lupin #sirius black #lily evans #wolfstar #marauders era #james potter #marauders fandom #peter pettigrew #jily #dorlene #writeblr #short fanfic #let me know if there's any mistakes I should fix #or if you have any other fic requests #I'm more than happy not to study for exams in two days

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fsfghgee · 2 days ago

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I need to see how that double date ended 🫡

Resolution

(Double Date Sequel - Kuai Liang, Harumi, Bi-Han & Sektor)

— You know this is a trap, don't you?

— I know.

— So why are we doing this? Why can't you just ignore her?

— She's your mother. — Standing in front of the busy restaurant, staring at the door as if trying to muster up the courage to walk through it, Bi-Han took a deep breath and squeezed Sektor's hand before entering the place. — I can't disrespect her.

— Even though she no longer respects you?

Ignoring the reality exposed by Sek and refusing to accept that he would not be able to win Madam Bo's favor as he had won Longwei's, Bi-Han looked for Madam Bo as if she were not already expecting them.

— Madam Bo! — Calling out to the elderly woman upon finding her leaving the kitchen, Bi-Han hurried to her. — We came as soon as we received your message.

— Very well. — She looked from one to the other, not hiding her surprise regarding Bi-Han. She already knew that he had been transformed into a creature of chaos by the titan Havik, but she never imagined that he had become so repulsive and dark in appearance. — I see that you are literally living with a monster now. — Ignoring Bi-Han, she looked at her daughter. — Is it still worth opposing Lord Liu Kang's will?

— I don't care about your disapproval or Liu Kang's. I fell in love with his soul. Not his appearance.

— A soul that was corrupted by chaos magic.

— Someone is keeping you well informed. So much effort to please Liu Kang… — Sektor mocked and Bi-Han held her tighter before she got too close to her mother. — It's no surprise that my father didn't go after a woman like you.

— What are you insinuating?!

— Sektor, please… — Bi-Han intervened before that discussion ended in a fight. — She's not insinuating anything. We came because you said you wanted to see her and talk to me.

— Yes, but the conversation we must have cannot be done in front of so many people. — Motioning to the restaurant, which was as full as usual, she waited for Bi-Han to agree before motioning for them to follow her. — Accompany me to a more private place.

— Bi-Han, no! — Sektor pulled him, murmuring so that only he could hear. — It could be dangerous.

— She's your mother. — Murmuring back, Bi-Han tried to ignore the concern in her eyes. — What harm would she do to you?

— Not to me. But what about you?!

— She can just try.

— I don't have all day. — Without bothering to hide her irritation, she turned around just to give a scolding before continuing up the stairs to the third floor.

Reluctantly, Sektor went up with Bi-Han to the isolated third floor. There were also tables like on the other floors and all the rest of the decoration, but only muffled noises from the floor below could be heard.

— Have a seat. — The elderly woman waited for the young people to sit down before continuing with the face of a few friends. — You're tired of hearing that what you're doing is wrong.

— In your opinion.

— You betrayed Earthrealm! You betrayed Lord Liu Kang's trust... — Indifferent to Madam Bo's indignation, they just stared at her without emotion. — In exchange for what?

— In exchange for a better future for the Lin Kuei.

— And what future will the Lin Kuei have if you die?

— I will never let anything happen to your daughter. I promise that...

— Your word is worthless, Bi-Han!

— Madam Bo, I-I...

— Don't pretend that you care! — Sektor stood up irritably and shouted in disgust. Interrupting her beloved when she saw how affected he had been by the older woman's words. — You abandoned me! You abandoned my father! You abandoned our clan! In exchange for what? To be a nanny for two farm boys!

— Your mother wisely honors Earthrealm with her services. — Liu Kang intervened, finishing climbing the stairs, making Bi-Han release a guttural sound in contempt.

— Is that what you want her to believe? Like you did with my father?! — Irritated by Liu Kang's sudden appearance, Bi-Han also stood up. — Like you do with my brother?!

— Bi-Han…

— I've had enough. — Tired of her mother and Liu Kang's presence, Sektor grabbed Bi-Han's hand before he could think of trying anything. — Let's go home.

— Wait! — Madam Bo hurried before they reached the door.

— What do you want now?!

— I made a promise. And I'll keep it. Stay for dinner and I'll make your favorite childhood meal.

— I don't want anything from you!

— We'll stay on one condition. — Sektor looked at Bi-Han in disbelief, but Bi-Han ignored it, still thinking that he could achieve his goal with that visit. — I want you to give me your blessing.

— Bi-Han, you don't have to…

— My mother... — He looked at Sektor before looking back at Madam Bo, serious and resolute. — She would want it that way.

Madam Bo sighs and nods.

— I wish you had half the love for Earthrealm that you have for your mother.

Resigned to the young Grandmaster's lack of response, Madam Bo motioned for them to sit down again before going down with the fire god.

...............................

— You haven't even touched your food.

— I'm not hungry. I want to go home.

— You know this is important to me.

— We have my father's blessing. That should be enough. — Fearing that the day would end worse than it had begun, Sektor cupped his face and pleaded with her eyes. — Let's go home, please.

Bi-Han sighed and was about to do as she had asked, when approaching footsteps drew his attention to the front.

— Do you mind if we join you? — Liu Kang, accompanied by Harumi and Kuai Liang, stood in front of their table.

— Oh, no...

— Calm. — Holding Sektor's hand under the table, Bi-Han motioned with his free hand for Kuai Liang to sit across from him. — Feel free.

— Your manners have improved. But your appearance is still as horrible as your heart.

— You have no vision, Kuai Liang.

— It's your ambition that's blind, Bi-Han! As always. — Outraged by his older brother's disregard, Kuai Liang took a deep breath to control his anger. — There are no limits to your desire for power, are there?

— How can you kill and risk your life for a man like that? — Seeing the derision in Bi-Han's eyes and witnessing once again how unpleasant he was, Harumi questioned Sektor.

— Wouldn't you do the same for Kuai Liang?

— Of course I would. But he isn't Bi-Han.

— Exactly. I know his heart. You don't.

— What heart? — Harumi looked at the Chinese woman as if she had gone mad. — That guy let his own father die! He has no honor, no heart. As you must not have to…

— You know nothing about us! You…

— Kuai Liang. — Seeing that the argument between the women was escalating, Liu Kang intervened, seeking support from Scorpion. — Can you say something to your brother?

— I'll never forgive you.

— Did I ask for your forgiveness? — Bi-Han mocked, much to the indignation of his younger brother's wife.

— This guy…

— This is pointless. — Ready to leave the table, Sektor stood up again. — You're wasting our time.

— Wasn't it nice to see the mother you dishonor again?

— Mind your place, Kuai Liang! Or I…

— Or you what?!

— By the elder gods! — Startled to see Bi-Han jump on Kuai Liang and then the two brothers start exchanging punches, Liu Kang hurriedly stood up to try to separate them. — Enough! Bi-Han, Kuai Liang!

— Kuai Liang! — Harumi worried when she saw that her husband wouldn't stop being beaten by Bi-Han, tried to intervene too, but Sektor threw warning flames in front of the Japanese woman. — What are you doing?!

— Hurt Bi-Han and you'll have to deal with me.

— And let that monster kill my husband?!

— What's going on here?! — Madam Bo, who was carrying another tray of food with her, got angry and put the food aside to hit the tray with all her strength. — Stop now! — Hitting until they moved away from each other, Madam Bo stood between them. — Not in my restaurant.

— Madam Bo, I...

— I've had enough of you!

— But it was Kuai Liang who...

— Let's go, Bi-Han. — Trying to spare her beloved from her mother's wrath, Sektor grabbed his hand and pulled him. — Let's go home. She'll never understand either of us.

— If you're not restored, you'll remain immortal! — Liu Kang shouted behind Bi-Han and Sektor. — And immortality has a high price to pay!

— I am willing to pay any price to break the Lin Kuei free from bondage forever!

— Even Sektor's death?

— Liu Kang! — Taking the dark tone as a threat, he finally stopped and turned around ready to confront him. — If you…

— Sektor will not live forever! She is mortal and you cannot change that. Eventually she will die and you will be alone forever. Do you think that's fair to her?

— He's trying to mess with your mind. — Sektor stated, bringing his attention to herself. — I don't mind dying for the Lin Kuei.

— You will not die! — Shocked by the certainty in Sektor's words, he feared that this sacrifice would one day find her. He could have this from anyone, he would accept it from anyone, except Sektor. He wanted to have anything from her, except this.

— The difficult thing about grief is surviving something that could be normal. Losing someone you love is losing everything you have. No matter how much you cry, no matter how much you go crazy with the absence, no matter the level of your pain, nothing will bring it back. The pain of grief is dying while alive, it is living dying little by little, and what a long vain penance to live forever without feeling loved, without having the one you love.

...............................

— Because you are reckless, Bi-Han! What did you think would happen?! — Furious with his son's disobedience, he just shouted as if no one was watching. — That you would go in there and get rid of them all?!

— I-I never thought that…

— Of course not! Of course you never thought! Because you never think, Bi-Han! You never think! — Unhinged by his own fury, he hits the boy so hard that he knocks him down with the impact.

— Bi-Han!

— Stay out of this. — Longwei murmured while holding his daughter.

— B-But…

— Stay out.

— Forgive me, my friend. But I need to excuse myself and end this night here. — Fixing his own clothes as if trying to calm himself by fiddling with the fabric, he continued to stare at his son on the floor as he spoke to the master armorer. — You understand, don't you?

— I understand. Good night.

— But father… — Unable to see Sektor's concern, he only heard the girl's voice cry out to her father before the loud slamming of the front door drowned out her voice.

— Go to your room.

— I-I want to see my mother. — Weak from the injuries from earlier, some so serious that they hadn't healed yet, he got up with great effort.

— Go to your room before I change my mind.

— N-No, I want to talk to my mother…

— I told you to go to your room! — The older one dragged him by the wrist, freezing him to prevent his resistance and cutting the younger one's arm by throwing him inside his chambers without completely thawing his skin. — And you will only leave there for your training and studies until further notice!

— N-No! — Desperate, he runs to the door, banging on it with all his strength, but the door doesn't budge as if it were enchanted. — I-I don't want to be locked in here! Mom! Don't leave me locked in here! - Banging until he almost ran out of strength, he could no longer hold back the tears and cried. — M-Mom… — Crying profusely, he slipped to the floor. — M-Men don't cry... — Repeating what his father always told him, Bi-Han tried to control his emotions in vain. — M-much less perfect warriors, m-much less...

— Lin Kuei warriors.

— S-Sektor?

— What he says is not true. You can...

— Don't look at me!

Waking up suddenly, Bi-Han sat up in bed and looked for Sektor. Soon seeing that she remained beside him, sleeping soundly with her back to him, he stroked her short hair. He inhaled her sweet perfume and hugged her tightly until he fell asleep again.

He found himself in the middle of a war, it reminded him of Chaosrealm, but he had seen the chaos of that place many other times before. It was the chaos of a battlefield, surrounded by fallen dead bodies, destruction and terror. Combat proved that he was alive, there was no better way to prove his strength and skill than by subduing his enemies. And in the midst of it all, he could only see those who attacked him, killing them all with ease, suddenly a scream of pain reminded him that he was not alone.

— Sektor?! - Amidst the darkness, he searched for her as if nothing else mattered.

What was the point of that battle?

What was he looking for?

Who was his target?

He no longer remembered.

— Sektor?! — The trail of deaths he had created to reach her was the reason why his clothes were already bloody when he found her. — S-Sektor… — The blood that dripped from her stomach without stopping stained his clothes even more, as he held her in his arms and begged her to keep her eyes open. — Chō stay with me… P-Please…

— B-Bi-Han…

— S-Stay with me. — Terrified and in a desperate attempt to keep her with him, he tried to transfer the chaos magic to her, but she stopped him by holding his hand with all her remaining strength.

— I-I don't want to live forever.

— Y-You promised you would never abandon me.

— I-I... I-I love you...

— No!

Feeling tears streaming down his face even after opening his eyes, Bi-Han gasped for the recent nightmare. He couldn't lose her. However, he knew...

He knew she was willing to do anything for the Lin Kuei. And that as much as she had accepted him, she didn't want anything to do with chaos magic. Immortality wasn't something any Lin Kuei desired. And he wondered when he had started to think differently...

Taking care not to wake her, he wrote a farewell letter and got dressed. Leaving the envelope on his own pillow, he kissed the side of her forehead and inhaled her scent deeply to take with him as a memento.

— She will remain Grandmaster and will not be punished for having freed me.

— It is not for this transgression that she...

— Either you promise this or there is no deal.

— I agree to your conditions, Bi-Han. As long as you not only make peace with the Shirai Ryu but also reconcile with Kuai Liang.

— That is impossible.

— He is your brother.

— He stopped being my brother when he betrayed me.

— You disappointed him first, Bi-Han. This condition is non-negotiable.

...............................

5 years later…

— You're ready to go, Bi-Han. Don't forget what you promised.

— Only if you have kept your word.

— I wove the fabric of time to shape your destiny. I saw you born, grow and lose yourself. As much as you continue to hate me and your father for what happened to your mother... It was never our intention to hurt you.

— Bi-Han.

— Kuai Liang. — He greeted him with a brief nod, just as the younger one had just done. Still uncomfortable with each other.

— Are you ready, brother?

— You're pushing it, Tomas.

— Okay! Sorry. — Retracting his arms and apologizing after the older's scolding, he bowed briefly before him after walking away. — One step at a time. — He muttered to himself.

— I hope to see you together more often. — Finishing opening the fire portal, Liu Kang motioned for them to go through. — Have a safe journey.

— Where are we going?

— To the Shirai Ryu. — Upon seeing the alarm in Bi-Han’s eyes, Tomas continued. — You promised you would visit our clan when your restoration was completed.

— I don't recall making such a promise.

— Come on, Bi-Han. Tomas was counting the days until your visit. I agreed because Liu Kang said it would be good for both of us too. I still don't trust you completely. So don't threaten my clan when we get there.

Bi-Han took a deep breath before following the two through the portal. And in the blink of an eye, they arrived at the Japanese clan's compound.

— Bi-Han. — The youngest one bowed briefly in greeting.

— Harumi.

— Welcome to the Shirai Ryu. I hope this can be a fresh start for all of us. And that you don't make any of us regret this.

— Where is Hanzo? — Tomas asked almost desperately, anxiously looking around. — He has to meet you! You two have so much in common…

— How can a indigent whelp who lived on the streets not long ago have anything in common with me? — Bi-Han muttered to himself, trying to hide his contempt as Tomas hurried away. Kuai Liang, next to him sighed, listening to every word.

— By the elder gods, Bi-Han. Make an effort. — Without waiting for an answer from his older brother, who only took a deep breath at his demand, Kuai Liang took front of his wife. — Harumi will show you the rest, I have matters to attend to now.

— Don't be late for dinner. — Harumi smiled as she said goodbye to her husband. Hoping he wouldn't leave her waiting once again. — Kuai Liang has been quite busy resolving conflicts within the clan.

Bi-Han scoffed.

— As expected.

Noticing the mockery in the older one's tone, Harumi narrowed her eyes at him and took a deep breath to ignore it.

— Are you at least happy to see your brother? Because I know you were never really fond of me. — Smiling out of politeness, Harumi continued guiding him. — I know you introduced Cyrax to Kuai Liang to make him forget about me.

— And she failed.

— You failed. — Ignoring the unfriendly looks towards the cryomancer along the way, Harumi continued distracting Bi-Han so he wouldn't stare back. — The way you always treated me coldly, how you always seemed to dislike me, made me wonder once if you had some kind of crush on me.

— I'm not Japanese. I don't pretend to like someone when I actually don't, nor do I pretend to hate someone when I actually like. Falsehood is not part of my culture. What my brother saw in Japan and in a woman so...

— Be careful, dear brother-in-law! — Harumi smiled after seeing Bi-Han lose his breath when she elbowed him in the stomach. — You don't want to get hurt before dinner.

— I won't participate in your...

— Eventually I learned that my assumption about you was wrong. — Bi-Han, ignoring the pain in his stomach and trying very hard to hold back his curses, continued to follow the Japanese woman reluctantly. — And that you simply didn't think I was worthy of your brother. Because my blood wasn't Lin Kuei.

— It still isn't. Marrying my brother doesn't make you a Lin Kuei.

— I can't change my bloodline, Bi-Han. And I didn't marry your brother for that. I've loved him since I was very young. I love him with all my heart and I'm willing to do anything to protect him. — She said firmly, looking into Bi-Han's eyes without blinking. — You already know that I would give my life for his.

— I can respect that.

Harumi smiled, pleased to feel that she had somehow touched him.

— Thank you. — And finally entering the living room, simple and modest with typical Japanese decoration, Bi-Han controlled himself not to comment on the conditions they lived in. Having been born and raised in the imposing Lin Kuei palace, surrounded by luxuries, having lived his entire life only with the most influential Lin Kuei families and even with OutWorld sovereigns due to his late father's friendship with the emperor, he could not hide the expression of disgust with the simplicity of the place. The compound had already disappointed him enough, but a Grandmaster living in those conditions... — Most of our warriors hate you, so to avoid conflicts we will have an intimate dinner. I advise you not to leave here alone.

— I really don't want to stay for your dinner.

— It'll be worth it. — The young Shirai smiled mysteriously. — If you want to wash up before dinner, you can go down that hallway and turn right.

— I don't...

— See you later.

That wasn't an invitation, it was a summons.

Convinced that he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, Bi-Han took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in frustration. Frustrated for having to put up with that, frustrated for the time he had spent sleeping until Liu Kang discovered an effective way to restore him, frustrated for not being sure if the conditions he had imposed had been respected by Liu Kang, frustrated for not having returned to the Lin Kuei yet, frustrated for fear that he would never be able to return...

Without paying much attention to the room, Bi-Han locked the door behind him and leaned against it.

— Why wasn't she there? — Sliding from the door to the floor, he curled up and hugged his legs, wishing he was with the Lin Kuei. — W-Where is she? — Wishing he was with her. — S-She can't... S-She can't forget about me.

Tired of holding it in, he let the tears roll down his face twisted in pain. The vision already blurred by his tears.

— M-Men don't cry... — Repeating what his father always told him, Bi-Han, desolate on the floor, tried to control his tears. — M-much less perfect warriors, m-much less...

— Lin Kuei warriors. — Paralyzed, as if she were a mirage, a delirium. It took Bi-Han a while to realize that the warmth in her eyes and her smile were real. She was there. She was there with him this time.

— S-Sektor?!

— Are you still the Bi-Han I know?

— I-I am... — Standing up quickly, he stood in front of her in the blink of an eye. — I will always be. — Looking deep into her eyes, he caressed her bare arms, as if to make sure they were real, and smiled when he felt the softness of her skin under his rough hands again. — Do you still love me?

— Bi-Han, I…

— Say yes… — Whispering as he leaned down towards her lips, he was surprised when she dodged his.

— I don't know if I can forgive you.

— What? I did what I did for both of us.

— No, Bi-Han. You did it for yourself.

— Chō…

— There's no explanation, Bi-Han. — Breaking free from his grip, she dodged when he tried to hold her once more. — Not this time! You abandoned me. You left me alone for 5 years…

— I didn't know it would take this long!

— You didn't know?! You told me we couldn't wait to find a cure. That I should stop looking for it, because you were stronger that way… — She had been so angry and sad since Bi-Han had left, that she could barely control the tears that threatened to fall almost as an insult to herself. — Y-You said it was better for the Lin Kuei if you stayed that way, that you didn't care as long as I didn't…

— Sektor…

— W-Why like that… So suddenly?!

— I never wanted to be immortal. I-I never wanted to put your life at risk. I-I… — It was choked, stuck in his throat, very difficult for someone like him to admit… — I was wrong. I want to build a family with you. I want to grow old by your side. I-I couldn't bear a life without you with me! — With his eyes starting to blur again because of the tears he was holding back, he looked at her like the time he realized he loved her. — I couldn't bear to live without you.

— Why didn't you just talk to me?

— I was afraid you would see me as a…

— As a what?

— As a weakling. — Trying to keep his pride, he almost whispered before confessing in a louder tone. — I was afraid you would see me as a weakling.

— After everything we've been through together, you still...

— I know! I was wrong. I just need you, I need your love... — Eager to be with her again, he cupped her face, making her see the sincerity in his eyes. — I love you like crazy. Don't you love me anymore?

— I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

— Take me home.

— You must stay for dinner.

— I don't want to stay.

— Bi-Han... — Turning her back on him, Sek wiped away the tears that threatened to make her give in once more.

— Don't leave me here. — Almost begging, but too proud to actually beg, he buried his face in her neck. — Take me with you, p-please.

— Arctika is as much your home as it is mine. Even if I don't want you in my bed anymore. You know the way back.

— You can't be serious.

— Think whatever you want. After 5 years I got used to an empty bed.

— So let me get you used to sharing it again... — Hugging her from behind and bringing her close to him, she moved as if she wanted to break free, but she didn't. Letting out deep sighs, her heart raced and he felt her body temperature rise quickly as the sometimes strong, sometimes soft touches of his lips trailed an imaginary path down her neck. He marked her as if she were his, squeezing her to feel every soft part, reminding her body of what it was like to feel desired and loved by him. — Your body still reacts to mine…

— O-Out of anger…

— Is it? — In a sudden movement, he turned her to him, searching for what he already knew he would find.

— B-Bi-Han… — Melting under his touches, her determination to remain angry wavered. She held his hand as he caressed her face with such affection and looked at her with such ardour that it made her want to forget all the nights she had cried herself to sleep.

— You still want me…

— I-I don't want to want.

— Don't say that.

— That letter… — Taking a deep breath so as not to shed more tears for him, she looked away from his intense hazel eyes to the old lamp flickering in the room. — You asked me to be happy, but not to forget about you. How could I be happy while I imagined you trapped in that temple again? H-How could I not want to forget about you after everything?

— Because you love me. — Caressing her nose with his, feeling her breath blow on his face, he sucked and nibbled on her lower lip. — As much as I love you.

— Bi-Han… — He kisses her deeply, a sweet and voracious kiss. Silencing her protests and fading the hurt she felt for him with each movement of his tongue in the warm interior of her mouth. — I-I still haven't forgiven you.

— D-Don't stop me from being with you…

— I'm not going to.

......

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alastyr-not-alastair · 29 days ago

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Hhhungryyyyyyyyyyy

#i want burger #and garlic mayo #you’re telling me a gar licked this mayo?#can you tell I just remembered that this is a personal blog #I can post whatever i want #I’m treating it like a private twitter account but just with art posting #but like seriously I’m so fucking hungry rn it’s literally 3 am #I genuinely just want a burger #for my American audience i want a chicken sandwich #chicken sandwiches and burgers are just kinda considered the same here #what fucking audience you loser it’s 3 am and you’re burger posting in tags #chat can you believe this?#chat is this real #also I’m fucking COOLLLDDDDE #who’s been reading all of this #if you have leave a comment down below 😎#if you’ve been reading this long you deserve some personal information #I’m so mad I won’t get a burger on Friday and probably also Saturday #since I’m going to the shit doctors #and they’re shoving a camera up my asshole (colonoscopy)#what’s that one saying #hot people have stomach issues #anyway #I can’t eat for a FULL DAY before it #aka Friday #and then it says on the prep document that your first meal shouldn’t be super greasy #which makes me pissed like #dude let me eat my shitty burger and poutine #ohhhh my god I want an osmows poutine #guys I ran out of tags so I guess you’re not gonna hear the story about how we had 3 university students all hunched over food CHARACTER LIM

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snekdood · 1 year ago

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the way anti theists treat religious/spiritual people as if we're mentally ill feels the exact same as when conservatives treat trans people as mentally ill

#in both cases there is no Scientific Biological Way to back up having either a belief in oneself or a god #so its real weird seeing anti theists claim to be trans friendly or trans themselves like whats next... you're gonna be into the whole #'my brain is a girl/boy' shit??#how about- and hear me out on this- we let people believe what they want to and only try to change their beliefs if it harms people #and i emphasize 'change their beliefs' over 'try to stop them from believing in religion' bc 1. i think thats kinda impossible to do for #plenty of people and 2. i can see that leading to actual genocide of ppl who want to believe in a god or whatever.#hate when 'facts over feelings' ppl claim to be leftists 😩 go back to reddit sdjhvfdsvgh #how about facts AND feelings. Together We Are Stronger my comrade

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puppmeo · 3 months ago

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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've #actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept #anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and #then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him #the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday #because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the #month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently #just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here #anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as #shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery #forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that #shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on #you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years #also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being #into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship #does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi #ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just #wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so #ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know #when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh #t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME #this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this #anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im #gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive #never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow #i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery

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featherymainffins · 6 months ago

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Family is clearly just prolonging my and my mother's misery by forcing me to text her on special occasions and send her gifts, which is giving her false hope that her only boxing bag might come back and endure whatever she decides to take out on it again.

#if it were up to me I'd block her number and never even hear anything about her again #she made her choices and I swear to god i tried to be a good daughter and take them #when university told me that we should try to stay in contact with people in cults because it's much harder to get out without #a support system i tried to take it because of that if nothing else. i told myself that I'll take it. that I'll take it because maybe one #day she'll want out. i tried to.#maybe I didn't try hard enough I don't know. and if that's right then the universe can add it to my endless list of sins which makes me #not a human. the universe can add it to the list of reasons for why I'll never lead a happy life and why I'm better off dead.#that's what I've been told when i was growing up after all.#i tried to but it's just. it's her life or mine. and if she were mean just to me I'd let her take it. if it were just me I'd let her say all #those horrible things to me and I'd stand there and let her punch my limbs until they go numb like i always have #and I'd let her tell me that nobody will ever love me and I'd let her do her invasive checks of my body and I'd let her have those #episodes of searching through my entire room and breaking into my accounts to see if I'm saying anything about her ever to anyone #and calling my doctors and telling them that I'm crazy and not to believe a word i say.#I'd let her do all that as i always have. but she's horrible to my friends and horrible to strangers and it's just too much for me.#I don't want to hear that my friend killed herself in vain and I don't want to hear that you'll never use her name because #'it was just a year before he offed himself so it doesn't count.'#I don't want to hear any of it. i don't want to hear that all my friends hate me and I don't want to hear how horrible they are #and i don't want to hear slurs you use against them and I don't want to hear you say those things about random people you #meet on the street and i don't want to hear you passing moral judgement on strangers because of the way they do their hair #or the way they dress or the way they were born.#I don't want to hear that all my friends with tattoos are rotten and that cancer awaits them as punishment #I don't want to hear any of it. I'm sick of it. i don't want to hear 'youre a censoring bootlicker' whenever i say that i would like you #to tone it down. 'its my opinion. i have a right to free speech.' free speech is not saying that my friends should die.

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gothgoblinbabe · 2 months ago

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The Art Of Make-believe Matrimony

Logan Howlett x fem!reader

Summary: You can’t stand each other, so it’s a mystery to you and Logan why you’re sent out together on an assignment. To make it worse, you’d have to act much closer than you really were.

Warnings: mutant!reader (no specific power mentioned, though), fem!reader, enemies to lovers, swearing, fake dating (technically fake marriage), mentions of violence, a little bit of suggestive stuff, a little bit of fluff i guess, and mild alcohol consumption. I think that's all but if i missed any, please let me know! also this is def loosely inspired by the movies 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' and '10 Things I Hate About You'

Word Count: 5K

part 2

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ .

You hate the way he dresses.

You hate his stupid hair.

You hate the pet names he calls you.

You hate his voice.

You hate his hazel eyes.

You hate his smile.

You hate Logan Howlett.

It was no secret and neither was the fact that he couldn’t stand you either. You bickered like a married couple, constantly fought till you bled when you were training and couldn’t go a day without one of you insulting the other. Truthfully, it was probably because you were too alike - fire versus fire - and knew exactly how to press each other's buttons.

That’s why you were both confused when you stood in Charles’ office - dumbfounded expression on your faces - as he told you that he assigned you to a mission together.

“Oh, no way,” you nearly laughed, thinking it was a joke.

“Yeah, not happening,” Logan agreed. It may have been the only thing you’ve ever agreed on.

“That’s unfortunate for both of you, as I am sending you anyway. You are the only capable people that aren’t already out on an assignment or teaching a class full time.”

“How do you expect us to do it without killing each other?” you raised your eyebrows.

“You are adults. I trust you will navigate that on your own.”

Logan scoffed beside you, his arms crossed over his chest.

You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration and biting the bullet, “what do we have to do?”

“There is a safe hidden in the home of a very wealthy socialite who’s been involved in orchestrating attacks on mutants - injecting them with a serum that replaces their mutation gene with that of a normal human,” Charles began to explain.

Your chest felt heavy. It always made you anxious and a little ill when you’d hear the stories of people who hated you so much that they’d go as far as to harm or violate you in some way, all in the name of trying to rid the earth of you completely or turn you into one of them.

“The only known sample of the serum is locked in that safe,” he continued, “and I will need you to retrieve it. You are to infiltrate a gathering being held in her home, obtain the contents of the safe and return promptly.”

“So, we’re…going to a party?” Logan asked with one eyebrow raised.

“A dinner party,” Charles replied, “and another thing - you must not attend as yourselves. You’ve been invited on the good word of another guest - someone we trust - but you’ve been invited as a married couple to avoid arousing suspicion.”

He must’ve been getting some sick enjoyment from this.

“Married couple,” you repeated, your eyes narrowed, “Us. You want us to pretend to be a couple.”

“What, do I have to like - touch her? I’m not doing that,” Logan piped up.

“Oh, i’m so disappointed,” you rolled your eyes, sarcasm clear in your voice, “Fuck off.”

“You fuck off.”

“No, you fuck off.”

“No, you.”

“I said it first!”

“Enough,” Charles interrupted, “you will be attending as Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

“Huh,” Logan hummed, “that’s creative.”

“Its inconspicuous,” he replied.

“What are our first names, then?”

“You have creative liberty. I trust you will come up with something just as unremarkable.”

“How about Sid and Nancy?” you scoffed, chuckling a little in disbelief.

“Does that mean I get to stab you?”

“You’d miss.”

Charles had his head in his hands.

“How about Jack and Jill?”

You both turned your heads to him when he spoke, pausing the back and forth between you that you were sure to continue later. You glanced at Logan and shrugged, indifferent to the names.

“That’ll work,” Logan mirrored your actions.

“Lovely. Tomorrow evening at five. I will have the address ready. In the meantime, here,” he opened his palm and placed two rings on the table, “these are your wedding bands.”

You huffed and took the smaller of the two, Logan picking up the plain silver band. Yours was simple - a false diamond in the middle and two smaller ones on each side.

“What, you couldn’t get me anything bigger?” you joked to Logan, holding up the ring.

“Oh, you want somethin’ big?”

Your eyes went wide and you elbowed him in the arm, groaning in disgust, “Gross.”

—----------------

Five o’clock came fast, your nerves seemingly increasing the speed of time. You’d made a mess of your wardrobe looking for something to wear that was comfortable, but not too ‘you’. What would a rich person wear to a dinner party? How the hell were you supposed to know?

Some nice pants, a blouse and complimenting shoes would have to do - it was the only thing you had that looked relatively formal. Adding some jewelry made it just a little more convincing.

You went down the stairs to meet Logan at the front door, dreading the coming hours. You turned the corner and finally saw him, leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He wore a white t-shirt tucked into his jeans, his boots, and he’d traded his usual leather jacket for a suit jacket. He actually cleaned up pretty nice, but you weren’t gonna tell him that.

He heard your footsteps and turned towards the sound. He could feel the sweat starting to form at the back of his neck.

He’d never seen you in anything nice like that - you never really had any occasions to dress up for - and he hated how much he liked it. Your pants hugged you perfectly, your blouse was buttoned low and you even had on a little bit of makeup.

“You don’t look too bad,” he managed to comment, opening the door for you.

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” you realized aloud, the both of you heading towards Logan’s truck, “You look alright.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Smith.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Smith.”

He opened the car door for you, uncharacteristically gentlemen-like.

You shot him an odd look and got in anyway.

“I’m practicing,” He explained, shutting your door and walking around to slide into his seat, “can’t have anyone thinkin’ I’m a shit husband.”

“Good luck.”

“Uh-oh,” Logan had an amused expression, his eyes glued to the road as you began moving, “that’s not wife behavior, sunshine.”

“Bite Me.”

He clicked his tongue, “Feisty. Oh - I can use that when people ask about us! I’ll say it's one of your absolute worst qualities that any man would be repulsed by, but that our love is blind.”

You scoffed, “Great, and I’ll get to tell them you spend sixteen hours brushing your hair into cat ears and shed all over the bathroom like an animal.”

“See - now, that one seems a little personal.”

“It is.”

“Just pretend for a night that I’m the man of your dreams, okay?” he asked, “pretend I’m, uh - I don’t know, some celebrity guy you have a crush on.”

You were silent for a second, engrossed in thought, “you look nothing like Hugh Jackman.”

“Who? You know what - sure, pretend I'm him, alright? Just squint.”

Truthfully - and you’d rather be stabbed than admit it - Logan wasn’t far off from who you could picture yourself with. Strong, kind of handsome, good with kids. He was humble, most of the time. He was just terribly annoying and way too cocky.

It wasn’t long before he was shifting the truck into park and yanking the keys from the ignition. You let him open your door and walked beside him up the front steps.

“You ready, Jack?” you teased.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Jill.”

He rang the doorbell and you stood awkwardly, eyes scanning your surroundings. The house was huge - probably only a bit smaller than the mansion - and modern, something probably built in the last ten years. The front lawn was impeccable, as were the marble statues strategically placed between foliage and flora.

The door opened and you inhaled sharply, trying to prepare yourself to lie your ass off.

“Hello! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Smith! So lovely to meet you, please - come in,” a woman ushered you in, her neck and ears decorated in pearls. You recognized her immediately, Charles having shown you both a picture of the hostess beforehand. You politely greeted her and introduced yourselves, already scanning the room for an emergency exit in case things went sour.

“So,” she continued talking, leading you to sit in the living room with the other mingling guests,”tell me a little about yourselves! John wasn’t very descriptive when he mentioned you. What do you do for work?”

Whoever John was, you silently thanked him.

“Uh, well,” you began, nervously glancing at Logan, “I’m a bank teller.”

Plain, boring, inconspicuous,

She then looked to Logan expectantly, awaiting his answer.

“Cage fighter.”

Jesus Christ. You were glaring daggers into the side of his smiling face and he pretended not to notice.

“Really?” the woman in front of you inquired, a hand on her chest. You watched her eyes scan him up and down, landing on the pecs prominent through his shirt. You scoffed out of instinct, faking a cough to cover it up.

‘Oh, yeah. Undefeated MMA champ.”

You looked away to hide the scowl on your face when your eyes locked on the vodka bottle sitting on the table a few feet away with a collection of other booze. Bingo.

“Will you excuse me for just a moment?” you smiled politely and walked away before Logan could protest, leaving him to his own devices.

You twisted the top off the bottle and picked up a glass, filling it with Vodka and some soda that was left on the table.You almost walked away with it, planning to keep it in your hands until you felt your nerves subside, until you remembered you were supposed to be a wife. Wives brought their husbands drinks, right? Not doing so would look rude and rude might blow your cover. So, you reluctantly picked up another glass and filled it partially with whiskey, knowing it was something he’d drink. You happened to glance across to the kitchen and notice a neat little rack of spices and condiments on the counter. A bottle of soy sauce was front and center, like a message from the universe, and you giggled to yourself as you snatched the bottle and hid it up your sleeve - this could be a good night if you made it entertaining.

You returned to Logan with both glasses, handing him the one filled with significantly darker liquid. He looked a little surprised but accepted it anyway.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said with narrowed eyes, a look that asked ‘what are you up to now?’

You simply nodded in acknowledgement, smiling at the hostess still standing in front of you.

“She’s a keeper,” he continued, holding the glass up to his mouth, “ always knows exactly what I like.”

You bit back a snicker as you watched him tilt the glass and finally take a sip.

His eyes went to yours immediately. He pulled the glass from his lips, mouth still obviously full of whiskey and soy sauce. If looks could kill, you’d be long dead.

“Good, honey?” you smiled wide then, taking a sip of your own drink.

“Mhm,” he hummed, clearly fighting a grimace. He swallowed and nearly gagged, coughing into his fist, “mhm, just a little strong.”

“Oh,” the hostess began, “Jack was just about to tell us how you met!”

A couple of guests had gathered in the same spot, all lingering in a semicircle. Logan was quite the charmer and it wasn’t a surprise that he already had a couple of women gawking at him, hanging on his every word as if any of it was true.

“Was he?” your tone was shrill but you attempted to appear playful, lightly smacking him on the arm, “Oh, honey, you should really let me tell it.”

Whatever he was about to come up with, you hoped it was not in the same outlandish category as cage fighting. Before you could begin, though, he dismissively waved his hand in your direction.

“No, no - you’re a little forgetful, sweetheart,” his grin was mischievous as he turned to speak to the surrounding guests, “so, it all started with a tshirt competition at a bar where the girls had to - “

“Nope! Nope,” you interjected, doing your best to keep your tone light and shaking your head, “haha - that must have been another girl, honey!”

That earned a few chuckles from the guests around you and you took the opportunity while everyone's attention was on you to try and spin a tale of your own.

“So, we actually met a couple years ago,” you started, mulling over what true details to sprinkle in or if you should make it up entirely, “uh - in a library.”

It wasn’t entirely untrue. You’d been at the mansion for a couple days before you bumped into him in the library while gathering books to try and put together your first lesson plan. You had a cup of coffee in one hand and a stack of books in the other - admittedly stupid - but you’d always been careful. Except for that once.

You had a book open in your arms, resting atop the stack you already gathered. You were walking and reading - again, admittedly not very smart - when you bumped into someone, spilling coffee on both of you and sending the stack of books to the floor with an audible thump.

“Fuck, sorry -” you began to apologize, finally looking up to the strangers face. It was Logan, of course, though you didn’t know that at the time. You remember thinking he was handsome with his scruffy mutton chops and well groomed hair - until he opened his mouth.

“What the hell is wrong with you, kid?”

You knew it was partially your fault but were irked by his attitude.

“Dude, you weren’t paying attention either, obviously!” you snapped back, looking down at the beige stain now adorning your white button up.

“I’m not the one who carries coffee and a shit ton of books at the same time.”

“Whatever.”

That was your grand introduction, neither of you even exchanging names.

Logan remembered it about the same way you did, though the version he tells is a little different. He loved to tell people that when you bumped into him, it was because you were so lovestruck that you just walked right into him. The part he always left out, though, was the first thing he thought when he saw you. He’d scolded you before even looking up to see who you were and when he had, he wished he’d reacted a little differently.

You were beautiful, even with coffee spilt all over yourself. You looked like a girl he’d only ever dreamed of, all the way down to the color of your hair and eyes. Unfortunately, he’d already been an asshole. So, from then on, that was basically your shtick - bickering over little things, calling each other names - all to the amusement of everyone around you. It wasn’t meant to be funny, but it was obvious to everyone else that the kind of teasing you did was only because you had feelings for one another - like two elementary school kids - and neither one of you seemed to know how to approach it. The mask would slip sometimes for either one of you - when he’d place a hand on your lower back, the times he’d managed to pin you to the mat during training - and you’d always find yourself staring at the ceiling that night, overthinking every interaction you’d had until the sun came up. He was never any better off, pacing in his room to try and decipher what the hell it was he actually felt for you.

Anyway, you decided to stick to the real story, minus the part where you insulted each other.

“We bumped into each other, literally, and I had coffee and a bunch of books in my arms. So, I drop the books, coffee spills everywhere - of course. Then I looked up at him, and..” you paused, the truth caught in a lump in your throat.

“And it was love at first sight,” Logan added, grinning down at you, “for both of us.”

His eyes were trained on yours and he continued to contribute to the story.

“The second I saw her, I fell in love.”

He was still looking at you. Why was he still looking at you like that? You were supposed to be husband and wife, right, but he was leaning into it far heavier than you expected. It felt like you were the only ones in the room.

A couple ‘aw’s were shared between guests and you smiled politely at the reminder that you were in fact not the only people in the room. As the conversation switched to another topic and someone else began to speak, you felt Logan’s hand at the back of your head, gently playing with your hair. Your face was pink - he was being too nice.

A short while later, you were sitting on the couch beside him, listening to someone’s drawn out story that you stopped paying attention to after six minutes.

“I’m gonna go take a piss,” Logan uttered unceremoniously and stood from the couch. He disappeared into the house and not even a minute later, another guy came to sit in his spot.

“Hey,” he put his arm around the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, “I don’t think we’ve met.”

You looked at the fingers grazing your shoulder and sat forward to shrug them off, “nope.”

He told you his name and you couldn’t have cared any less, deciding to actually tune back into the story being told rather than converse with him. He was alright looking, but his approach was far too off putting.

“So, did you come alone?”

You rolled your eyes at his question, opening your mouth to answer before he cut you off.

“Cause It looks like it, and I can’t stand to see a pretty girl alone.”

You groaned in disgust, hoping if you were dry enough in your answers, he’d leave you be.

“mhm.”

It wasn’t really an answer to anything, just a noise of affirmation. You hoped he’d get the hint then, but of course, he didn’t. In what would probably be the stupidest thing he’d done that night, the guy moved his arm from the back of the couch so he could squeeze your thigh. Right as you were about to tell him to fuck off, you saw a hand grip his shoulder from behind. Logan was leaning over the sofa, bringing his face a little lower so he wouldn’t cause a scene, his dog tags hanging when he leaned forward. He had a death grip on the guy's shoulder while he used his other hand to steady himself against the sofa.

“Hey, bub.”

The guy looked a little terrified, to say the least, but Logan didn’t let up there.

“Do you always go around hittin’ on people’s wives? Or is it just mine?”

His eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to run but that wasn’t going to happen as long as he was in his grip.

“I-I didn’t, uh, I didn’t know she - “ the guy sputtered, trying to nervously laugh it off.

“Mhm. Hey, tell you what - why don’t you leave my girl alone and maybe I’ll give you a five minute head start to get the fuck out of here.”

He let go of his shoulder and that was enough to drive him away, the guy scurrying to his feet and finding somewhere else to mingle.

You didn’t know why you found yourself smiling the moment he’d said ‘my girl’. You rid yourself of it with a shake of your head, reminding yourself you were there to do a job.

“Hey,” Logan leaned himself down even further so he could whisper, “I gotta show you something, c’mere.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him but got up to follow. He stopped in the hallway in front of the bathroom, looked around to see if anyone would notice you, and promptly dragged you in with him before closing and locking the door. He hit the light switch and you looked around.

“Do you always take girls to the bathroom on first dates?” you teased, crossing your arms.

“You’d have to go out with me to find out,” he remarked, “besides, it’s not like that. Look.”

You watched him get low to the ground to open the cupboard under the sink and you crouched with him, following his pointing finger to the wood paneling in the back. It looked like a fake back - a board that appeared to be the back of the cabinet but definitely had something behind it. There was a sliver of metal visible behind it when you shined your phone’s flashlight.

“I figured we should look everywhere, so while I was in here I was checking it out - saw that. You think that’s it?”

“Could be,” you answered honestly, “that, or it’s some sort of electrical box we’re about to rip out of the wall. It’s an odd hiding spot for a safe.”

“Not really. Think about it - where's the first place you’d look for a safe?”

“Bedroom or office, maybe.”

“Right, and where's one of the last places you’d check?” he gestured to the open cabinet.

“Under…the sink,” you realized aloud, looking between him and the wooden board.

“Exactly,” he nodded, swiping the contents of the cabinet onto the floor to gain access, “here’s the thing, though - I’m too big to get in there.”

He could maybe stick his head in, but in order to duck under the pipes from the sink, he’d need to have shoulders that were much less broad.

You sighed, knowing what that meant.

“Alright, alright - move. This better be it.”

You reluctantly crawled under the sink and into the cabinet on your hands and knees. You yanked the wooden board with all your strength and it came free, revealing a metal safe.

“Got it! You were right, it’s the safe.”

Logan simply hummed in response, clearing his throat. You figured he’d be a little more enthusiastic.

Truthfully, he was too busy staring at your ass in the nice pants you were wearing to pay attention. When he heard your voice, he shook his head, as if to rid himself of the thoughts he was having about you so he could think of a response. He’d always thought you were beautiful, but seeing you all dressed up drove him a little crazy.

“Yeah? Is it locked?”

You inspected the metal box, holding the absurdly large padlock hooked around the latch that opened the door.

“Uh-huh. Padlock - we’re gonna need the numbers.”

“No, we don’t. Bring it out.”

You did as you were told, crawling back out with the safe under your arm and placing it on the bathroom rug. It was a pretty small one - probably a little bigger than a basketball.

Logan picked it up and set it on the counter beside the sink. He unsheathed a claw and sliced through the metal latch that held the door closed in one swift motion.

“Well, yeah - that's one way to do it,” you shrugged.

“Easiest way to do it.”

He reached in and took out the small glass vial. He put it inside the pocket of his suit jacket.

“What if it falls out?” you asked.

“It won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Alright, kid,” he sighed, “what do you want me to do with it? ‘Cause i’m sure as hell not lettin’ you carry it.”

You rolled your eyes and looked him over.

“How about you wrap it in your jacket, like cushioning?”

“Fine.”

He reluctantly shrugged off his jacket, keeping the vial in the pocket but folding the jacket into a ball. You hastily replaced everything in the cabinet, safe included, and you followed Logan as he opened the door to step out - only to be met with another guest, her fist raised to knock.

“Oh! Dear,” she chuckled, clearly a little startled. She looked to the both of you, a grin appearing on her face, “Young love, what a gift. Don’t worry, I didn't see a thing!”

You shot her a confused look, chuckling nervously before you happened to catch a glance of your reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Your hair was mussed and your blouse was untucked on one side from having to bend up and down. Logan had taken off his suit jacket and you realized what it was she was implying.

“Oh, oh - we weren’t -”

“It’s alright, honey,” she responded as you stepped out, “like I said - my lips are sealed.”

She shot you both a wink, went into the bathroom and shut the door.

“She thought we were fucking in there,” you mumbled, eyes wide in embarrassment.

“Is that so bad?”

You snapped your head towards him, a confused look on your face, “what?”

Logan shrugged, “we're supposed to be husband and wife, aren't we?”

You shook your head in disbelief and decided to ignore him, both of you joining the other guests back in the living room. Dinner was finally ready and everyone took their seats in the dining room. There were a couple of things on the table you couldn’t even pronounce.

“Is that…meat? A vegetable?” you leaned over to logan, whispering behind your hand and nodding towards one of the dishes.

“Hell if I know,” he muttered, “I don’t think I wanna find out.”

You both piled on the few things onto your plates, poking at it with your forks.

“Do you wanna get a pizza after this?” you whispered.

“Definitely,” he replied, pushing around an unrecognizable sludge with his utensil.

“So, how long did you two say you’ve been together?” You both looked up, only to be met with the hostess’ stare. You had never mentioned how long you’d been ‘together’. Her smile was polite but her stare was piercing, as if she knew something she was not supposed to.

“About three years,” you replied, looking to him for back up.

“We got married a couple months in,” he added, grinning at you. Again, he had that look - like he wasn’t just pretending to be in love with you.

“We were in this restaurant - this little place we go to all the time,” he kept talking, “and I just told her I thought she was beautiful, that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.”

“Really? I have to say,” she began, sipping from her glass,” for a young couple who got together so quickly, you two don’t seem very affectionate towards each other.”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

You shot Logan a panicked look, but he appeared unbothered.

“Ah,” he clicked his tongue,” it’s this rule she’s got about PDA. I’d be all over her if I could.”

You hated the way your face became hot. You couldn’t tell if he was leaning into it to be convincing or flirting just to make you flustered. You heard a muffled snicker from somewhere across the table and your eyes shifted to the source - it was the woman from earlier, the one who’d thought you and Logan were getting busy in the bathroom.

“Can I at least get a kiss, babe?” Logan cooed, a smug look on his face.

“What are you doing?” you whispered, eyes wide.

“Being a husband,” he replied in a hush voice.

It all happened within seconds. His hands cupped your face, warm and soft, and he leaned in to plant a kiss right on your lips. It was gentle and you melted into his touch, kissing him back. When he pulled away, you were still stunned, your lips parted in surprise.

Logan kissed you.

His lips tasted like the remnants of cigar smoke. His touch was nearly intoxicating, like you were drunk off just the way he held you. You inhaled sharply and finally turned your face out of his grip, eyes glued to the table cloth. You had almost forgotten where you were - feeling like the room was spinning - and you let out a nervous laugh.

The topic of discussion moved on quickly and it seemed like any suspicion the hostess had about either of you had dissipated. You and Logan decided to say your goodbyes immediately after dinner, making some excuse about having to wake up early the next morning. When you stepped out and he shut the door behind him, you couldn’t hold your tongue any longer.

“What the hell was that?” you spat, eyebrows knitted.

“What was what?”

He was completely nonchalant as he continued to walk next to you towards his truck.

“You kissed me.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t have to.”

He stopped with you at the passenger side of the truck, standing in front of the door so you couldn’t get in.

“What if I wanted to?”

You swallowed hard. It was dead silent outside, save for the chirping of crickets.

“What?”

“I wanted to,” he admitted, chewing his bottom lip, “I wanted to kiss you.”

You didn't know what to say. He hated you, didn’t he?

“Logan, I - “

“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything in there, pretending to be together.”

His voice almost sounded strained, like he was pleading.

“You don’t even like me, you hate me,” you deflected, but he shook his head.

“That’s not true. I never hated you. I figured you’d hate me after I acted like an asshole when we met, so I went with it. I don’t hate you. I think you’re funny, I think you’re pretty - I just never really knew how to tell you that.”

When you only stared in response, he moved aside and opened your door with a defeated sigh. You were still speechless but you hesitantly slid into the seat anyway, letting him close the door. When he got into the driver's side and started the ignition, you couldn’t stop looking over at him.

“So, you like me,” you finally said aloud.

He kept his eyes glued to the road when he responded in a low voice, “why do you think I bother you so much?”

“You pick on me because you like me? Like a little kid?” you couldn’t help the amusement in your voice as your confused expression turned to a smile.

You saw him bite back a smile that mirrored yours, shaking his head.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Well, you’re not too bad, you know, and I guess you’re kind of handsome.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm, but don’t make me take it back.”

The rest of the short ride home was spent in comfortable silence, both of you seemingly trying to figure out where you’d go from there. When Logan parked his truck and got out, he came around your side to open your door. You hopped out and he shut the door for you, but grabbed your hand before you started to walk away.

“Hey, c’mere for a second.”

You let him pull you a little closer, intertwining both your hands. The evening air was chilly and you could see his breath in the air when he spoke.

“Can I kiss you, for real this time?”

You could feel your heart beating fast and you nodded eagerly. The second you did, his lips were already on yours. His hands let go of yours to settle in your hair, threading the strands between his fingers. His touch felt warm in comparison to the cold air and you leaned further into him with your hands gripping his jacket to pull him close. When he pulled away, he rested his hands on your waist and planted another kiss on your forehead.

“Maybe we could, uh, try again,” he cleared his throat, running his hands up and down your sides, “be nice to each other this time.”

Truthfully, you couldn’t hate Logan, even though you tried.

You couldn’t hate his perfect hair.

You couldn’t hate his sweet voice.

You couldn’t hate his kind smile.

You couldn’t hate the way he dressed.

You just couldn’t hate Logan Howlett.

So, you kissed him again, smiling against his lips and letting him hold you as close as possible, almost lifting you off the ground with his arms around you.

“We should probably go inside, huh?” you mumbled when you leaned back, lightly scratching the mutton chops on the side of his face in an affectionate manner. Those were another thing you’d pretended to hate - probably because you were embarrassed to admit you thought he pulled them off well.

“As you wish, Mrs. Smith.”

He held his hand out for you to take and you did, eyeing the ring on your finger.

“You know,” you held up your hand to show him the jewelry, “I think i’ll keep this.”

He grinned, bringing your knuckles to his lips and leaving a chaste kiss, “I think i'll keep mine, too.”

You were both still holding hands when you went inside, blushing like two little kids. You were so engrossed in one another that you didn’t notice Jean and Ororo in the hallway ahead of you as he leaned down to kiss you again. Now that he knew he could actually do it, he couldn’t help himself.

“I’ll take it your night went well,” Ororo giggled, Jean doing the same. You jumped a little in surprise, covering your pink face in mild embarrassment.

“What changed? I thought you hated each other,” the latter of the two asked.

“Eh, he’s not so bad,” you teased, shrugging your shoulders.

‘’Turns out, we make a pretty good fake husband and wife,” he explained, “I guess we got a little too carried away with it.”

As the two of you walked hand in hand further down the hall, Ororo elbowed Jean lightly, leaning over to whisper behind her hand.

“You owe me twenty bucks.”

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

A/N: If you've made it this far, thank you sm for reading!! I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this as is or add smut so I'll leave it how it is and if enough people ask for it, I can make a part two <3 pls reblog and like if you enjoyed/want more and my inbox is always open :)

Edit: here is the link to part 2!

#wolverine #logan howlett #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader #wolverine fanfiction #wolverine fic #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett fic #logan howlett smut #logan howlet smut #wolverine smut #logan wolverine

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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 5 months ago

Text

When they call you clingy, so you distance yourself | Hyung Line

Warnings: Cursing

Pt2, Pt3 Maknaeline

(X)

BANGCHAN |

You walked into Chan’s studio, quietly shutting the door behind you, as to not startle him.

“Hey Chris, can we talk for a second?”

You watched as your boyfriend of a year and a half continued to type away, not acknowledging your question.

“Chris? Did you hear me?”

“Yes I heard you. I just didn't answer."

"Well, it would be nice for a little acknowledgment, I asked if we could talk." You state politely. You understood that Chan was stressed, but you believed it was basic courtesy to at least acknowledge someone - let alone your significant other - when they asked you a question.

"Well, I'm kind of busy at the moment."

"I understand it will only take two minutes ba-"

“Dammit Y/N! I'm busy right now can't you see?" He snaps. Turning towards you and showing you the screen of his laptop.

You open your mouth to speak and tell him just why you needed to talk to him at this very second but he interrupted you.

"When we first started dating, I get that you told me you were clingy. I also get that I told you I liked clingy. But my god, Y/N you're not just clingy you're fucking obsessive. And always at the wrong times! You want space when I actually have time. Yet you decide to stroll in here trying to start a damn conversation when you can clearly see I'm trying to play damage control from a fucking dumbass trainee thinking it was funny to mess with my tracks. I'm already stressed as fuck about that, yet I have you breathing down my neck like some obsessive stalker. Like for five minutes just leave me alone!"

You stiffened at Chan’s tone. It was very rare that Chan would ever raise his voice. He managed his frustrations very well and was aware of how sensitive you were so he was always careful about confrontation.

He turned around and had his back hunched over his laptop as he typed and clicked away furiously, unaware of the tears that were quickly springing to your eyes. You were frozen in place, your heart beating uncontrollably.

It took a minute before you were even able to take a breath.

You stood there long enough for Felix to come bursting through the door to come update Chan about something unimportant to the task at hand. The same task that he had snapped at you for interrupting.

And you think that what hurt most. The way the frown on his face was lessened when talking to the younger male and his cute chuckle even popped out once or twice.

You finally were able to pull yourself out of the studio, leaving behind the coat you had absentmindedly placed down out of habit when you had come in and opted to take your purse.

The air was brisk and had that dry smell it always gained before it snowed.

Your apartment was close to the studio, a 25-minute walk at most so you always opted to take a stroll when visiting Chan, but you were on a tight schedule so within a minute you were in a taxi heading home.

And just as quickly you were back in a taxi heading to the airport.

You knew it was petty of you to mute Chris's notifications. But the fact that he snapped at you was just the tip of the iceberg. You knew that once he calmed down, he would immediately be filled with guilt. And you would rather not have your phone being blown up by multiple people at once.

Are you headed to the airport?

You responded to your brother's message with a thumbs up and turned on your DND before the screen darkened with a click.

You glanced at your watch and sighed.

You'd be on a plane heading home in less than an hour and weren't even able to kiss Chris goodbye.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

MINHO |

"You're clingy as hell." Minho mumbled under his breath, thinking you wouldn't hear. But oh did you hear.

"Lee Minho what did you just say?"

He let out a sharp breath and looked up from his phone. "I called you clingy." He stated boldly, his voice even yet loud enough to be heard by Hyunjin and Han who quickly scurried away to the other half of the suite.

"And what about me is so clingy?"

Minho chuckled sarcastically. "Oh I don't Y/N, do you want me to recap the entire day for you?"

You had joined the kids on their trip to Paris. While they had been here numerous times, this was your first time traveling here and due to the anxiety of being in a new place, you attached yourself to Minho's hip since it was your first day here.

You didn't intend to be overbearing, nor did you intend to be up his ass for the entire week and a half long trip, but you wanted to get used to the surroundings and you felt most comfortable doing that with your boyfriend. Yesterday being your first day you spent the entirety of it with Minho. You had noticed quickly how his excitement had turned into unease and straight up irritation after a while. It was a weird phase of emotions considering how happy he had been but you had amounted it to you accidentally taking a wrong turn and missing a fireworks show Minho had been talking about all day. You had come into his room early this morning to apologize, but instead were meant by an overly irritable boyfriend.

"It's because I've never been here before! Did you expect me to not to ask you to show me around?"

"Y/N there is a difference between a tour guide and a fucking babysitter. You pulled me along to everywhere you wanted to go. I had plans yesterday! Certain things that I was hoping to do. I made an entire schedule and everything, but just because you wouldn't agree to be toured around the city by Chan you ruined all of that. Then you spent the entire day just pulling me along. If you wanted someone to give you an overly extensive run down of everything and keep you company, why don't you ask someone closer to your personality like Jisung or Jeongin? I'm sure they'd love talking of the ears of all the local with you. Shit, you'd probably become some street show you three."

You sucked in your cheeks and took a breath.

"That was uncalled for, you have no need to bring anyone else into this discussion."

Minho chuckled sarcastically.

"Discussion? What is there to discuss? The amount of time I want you to leave me alone? Hell, why not the entire fucking trip?" He spat out.

"You're an ass Minho."

"Yeah well at least I'm not a pain in someone else's."

You felt your bottom lip start to tremble and your chin shake.

Don't cry. You'll just be a crybaby.

"And here come the water works." He groans as if he read your mind, getting up from his bed and heading towards the room where the rest of the guys were probably trying to keep occupied as to not hear your arguing.

"So what? You're just gonna walk away?" You call out.

"YOU'RE PROVING MY FUCKING POINT!" He shouted, finally at his breaking point. "It was a mistake asking you to come on this trip." He said turning around one final time and opening the door to the other side of the suite. "I never should have asked."

"Well you know what, maybe this trip isn't the only thing you should have never asked about. And I'm starting to realize that maybe it's not the only thing I never should have said yes to." You spit out turning on your heel and slamming the door.

You furiously wiped at the tears that were sticking to your face and threw your hood up over your head as you headed to your room to contemplate what would become of you two now.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

CHANGBIN |

It was irritating to you the way Changbin was interacting with the female barista. And the irritation must have shown on your face because when he handed you your iced latte, he raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything okay jagiya?"

You sighed as you guys stepped out the shop and started making your way back towards the studio. Changbin had been really busy the last couple of weeks with preparing for a special release and collabing with a few other groups, so you hadn't been able to be around your boyfriend as often as you'd like. So you had agreed on meeting during his lunch every other day, even if the times varied.

"You just seemed really flirty with that barista." You mumbled. "It was obvious she was into you too. I mean who wouldn't you're the Seo Changbin." You giggled elbowing him playfully. You pulled out your phone to make sure there was enough time for you to walk Changbin back or if you would have to take an Uber. You nodded at the time and swiped away a few notifications from Minho.

You expected Changbin to laugh or reassure you like he usually did when you brought up his flirty habits. Instead he snorted into his cup as he took a sip of the dark liquid.

"Jealous much?"

You laughed a little. "Why would I be jealous? She isn't the one who has been dating you for three years." You said hip bumping him, but he stepped away from you rather brashly.

"Well it seems like you are because you have to bring up me and my so called flirting ever single time I talk to anyone of the female species."

"Bin it was just a joke-"

"Well I'm not joking when I say you're acting clingy as fuck." His tone was way off and he seemed to realize the shit he was setting himself up to be put in because he stopped mid stride and turned around to you with an agitated sigh.

"Do you...I don't know want to run that by me again?" You ask, firming your stance.

"God, Y/N, don't make this a big thing. Its just been a day-"

"No, no. You don't get to use that excuse Changbin. We're supposed to talk through these things. You don't just get to say something like that and then act like you didn't."

You guys stood at an impasse for a moment until he spoke up rolling his eyes.

"Fine. I think you're being clingy." He said simple. "Jealousy falls under clinginess and I think you're being jealous so therefore you are being clingy."

"Changbin it was a fucking joke! You've never reacted this way before so I don't know why you're acting this way now!"

Changbin just rolled his eyes and continued in the direction of the studio.

"Seo Changbin, where are you going?"

"To work Y/N. You know, maybe if you actually picked up a more stable job then you wouldn't have as much time to be up my ass and exaggerating about things that aren't things you should be butt hurt about."

You stiffened at Changbin's low blow and took a breath.

"We need to fix this before it gets out of hand." You grit out.

"Well maybe I don't want to fix this." He looked at his watch. "I'm late now so why don't you just drink your latte and go home to cool off."

The condescending voice Changbin was using sent you over the edge. You were angry to the point of tears.

You chucked your nearly full iced latte at him. It hit his chest with a thud, and the coffee made a rather pretty pattern on his pristine white shirt.

"Maybe that'll help you cool yourself off. Fuck you Changbin." You pushed past him and waved down the closest taxi.

Your phone was buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out.

"Hey, are you and Changbin on your way back? I need to go over some choreography and we're filming tiktoks right when he gets back."

You did the best you could to keep your voice level when responding to Minho.

"He's on his way back now. But you need to get him a new shirt because being the dumbass he is he likes to make a mess of perfectly good things."

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

HYUNJIN|

You were never very happy having to attend events with Hyunjin. It wasn't that you didn't like spending time with him, or in turn spending time with the guys events.

It was just you felt insecure being the plus one of someone like Hyunjin.

It was no secret to anyone how those who knew and perceived Hwang Hyunjin's existence thought of him.

He had a beauty that rivaled any masterpiece that had ever been painted. The elegance of a tiger lily with the face of an angel.

You knew of many people who would jump at the opportunity to be with Hyunjin. For the past 11 months you had been with him you had your fair share of run ins with crazy fans or pop stars of the like.

Once your relationship had gone public a month ago you found yourself being compared to the female idols in the industry even more than you has expected.

It seemed to be the general consensus that not many people viewed you as "beautiful enough" to be with someone like Hyunjin.

You didn't take it to heart because you decided to have the outlook of nobody being beautiful enough for Hyunjin - let alone the people writing those hateful comments considering they were most likely delusional pre-teens who made the most out of pocket edits and were in desperate need of some grass groping.

But after a month it was starting to get to you slightly. Especially as you had come across one of those edits, since you had been tagged in it after someone found your personal account.

The amount of hate messages were starting to get to change your perception on things. Because the more you were hearing it the more you were seeing and believeing it.

"Jinnie do you think that my shoulders look weird in this dress?" You walked into your living room where Hyunjin was sitting. He looked up and a bright smile showed on his face.

"I think you look beautiful jagiya!" He said standing up. He looked other worldly in his tuxedo.

"And my hair?"

"Perfect." He said placing a kiss on your forehead. "We have to leave now if we want to make it on time. Or else I would look at you all night."

By the time you had been at the event for thirty minutes you already wanted to go home. You felt like the ugliest person there, and you couldn't help but feel the eyes of many people on you.

Ever couple of minutes you found yourself looking for Hyunjin's reassurance.

"Does my stomach look bloated?"

"Is my makeup fine?"

"Can you see the pimple on my chin?"

"Are my nails okay?"

"Do I look ugly?"

"Should I make my hair look like hers next time?

Hyunjin was reassuring you, but after the third or fourth questioning of the night his answers became generic.

When he was talking to an idol and his significant other you couldn't help but start comparing yourself to her. She was so pretty.

"Hyunjin should I run home and change?" You asked quietly in English. You were doing your best to learn Korean so it would be easier to communicate with Hyunjin's parents when the time came that your families were to get closer. You wanted it to be a surprise when the time came, because you knew how much Hyunjin wanted you to get along with his family, when when the time came to meet them - he wanted to get along with your family.

"You're girlfriend is pretty clingy isn't she?" The other idol asked in his native language, assuming you didn't speak korean because of your fluency in english.

"Yeah she is extremely clingy." Hyunjin replied. "Might be the clingiest girl I've ever met."

You looked at the other idols girlfriend and she made a face, and then laughed.

"You can tell she is a foreigner by the way she acts. No one is ever as clingy as foreign partners." She joked and all three of them were laughing.

Well there is the hundredth insecurity to list.

You looked at them and tried to control your facial expressions.

"We were just telling him that you are so adorable." The girl told you.

You chuckled uncomfortably and looked over at Hyunjin. He smiled and blinked cutely at you.

You smiled back as Hyunjin turned towards the couple again to continue his conversation.

And all you could do was smile back as you pretended to not understand the words Hyunjin didn’t even realize hurt you.

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