#houtsontexans

[apairofcrepeswiththerarestape]

#footballz happy birthday to Ahman Green! You were a v good dude who ran with the ball in the NFL (enough years have passed for me to have let go of my anger over you becoming such after leaving my beautiful Seattle Seahawks)! Your personal website is also v bizarre! Its video intro is fine till the part where you are running down a football field holding a soccer ball! Then after some boilerplate voiceover about you being a mentor and a sports dude or whatever that voiceover says that you are "the night"!? Whaaaaa? Then the video shows you working out at night! This is strange! It is less strange when you get to the part of your website where you proclaim your love for batman and say that if batman were real you would be his favorite player! Also that you would love to play batman in a movie! You do have some film experience as a prison inmate in a straight to DVD Rob Schneider movie "anti-man-raping" (Rob Schneider's quote not mine) film Big Stan! I hope some gets you a batman shaped cake (and maybe a new website) today, Ahman Green, because it's your birthday! #footballzeroftheday #footballzbirthdays #ahmangreen #seattleseahawks #greenbaypackers #houtsontexans #badwebsites #thenight #whaaaaaa #batman #robschneider #lifesrichtapestry

[dffjwaltner]

Tweeted

DYNASTIES ARE MADE IN THE OFF-SEASON! Get the info to make the moves to dominate your league! #DFF #DFFARMY #Capology101 #Capmatters #capologyrankings #tennesseetitans #titansnation #titans #jags #jacksonvillejaguars #dtwd #jags #jagswag #jagsnation #houtsontexans #texans #Colts https://t.co/SM52tvDiRQ

— Jason Waltner (@DFFjwaltner) February 2, 2018

[apairofcrepeswiththerarestape]

#footballz happy birthday to Drew Henson! You were v good at baseball AND football in college! Which made you a hot commodity in both pro leagues! You chose baseball (less head injuries, guaranteed contracts, you can be in just OK shape) and were drafted by the Yankees! Your football draft rights were also eventually acquired by the Cowboys so you were the property of two of the most disliked sports franchises in the world! Good job! It turns out you weren't really good at either sport professionally which is less of a good job! So now your name is only known to sports dorks like me! That must kind of suck! But hey you got a lot of Yankee and Cowboy money (though that money should only be used to buy cigars/terrible houses/watches who's faces are larger than your actual hand) so maybe the jokes on me! I hope no one gets you some sort of weird baseball/football combo gift today, Drew Henson, because it's your birthday! #footballzeroftheday #footballzbirthdays #drewhenson #houtsontexans #dallascowboys #detroitlions #newyorkyankees #theworstofbothworlds #masterofnone #goodatcollegebadatlife