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monsteronfire · 7 years ago

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It Happens Slowly (Request)

Group: Bangtan Sonyeondan

Member(s): Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook

Style: One-shot

Prompt: id Skinny Love - when two people love each other but are too shy to admit it but they still show it. young!reader x jungkook/bts long scenario(if you can make it long) w/ members trying to help and snapshots of them showing that they like each other or something like that and with a overdose of fluff pls and thank you.

Summary: Love is not always first sight. Sometimes it happens slowly.

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life

Pairing(s): Reader/Jeon Jungkook

A/N: I’ve done it. Months and months and MONTHS of waiting and here it is, guys. I’m so sorry to the anon that requested this. I’m sorry it took so long. I genuinely hope that the wait will have been worth it as you read this. It is possibly the longest one-shot I have ever written, clocking in at 45 pages and 20.1K words. It’s a bit further from what you were looking for, but once I started the story it just kind of ran away with me. I hope that you find parts that do fit your request in there, though. As hard as this was for me to write, I am pretty proud of the finished product and I hope you all will enjoy it. If this isn’t up to snuff for you anon, you can always let me know and I will try again. For now, please enjoy!

Dislcaimer: Gif isn’t mine.

“I was scared.”

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He never really expected you when you came into the picture, tagging along behind Jimin to a party one night. He didn’t speak to you and Jimin had only introduced you briefly, but you stayed glued to the mochi-boy’s side for the entire night looking shy and slightly out of place. After that it was this outing to get food late at night, or that outing to go clothes shopping. Every time Jimin was involved you were there too. Always relatively silent and looking like a deer caught in headlights. At first he hated it. Hated having you around constantly when Jimin-hyung came around. You were so unlike his hyung that he couldn’t believe you two even knew each other let alone had some sort of relationship. And what sort of relationship was it anyway? Were you two dating? Just friends? Fuck buddies? Jimin never explained and with you not speaking unless spoken to it was practically impossible to tell. The worst part was the rest of his hyungs took to you almost instantly. Namjoon, Hobi and Tae had immediately started fawning over how cute they thought your shy demeanor was and Jin was over the moon when the first sound you’d let out around them was when you’d laughed quietly at one of his lame jokes. Yoongi-hyung just liked that you were quiet and would often speak to you in a low tone, your responses usually a nod or shake of your head, or shrug of your shoulders. Why wouldn’t you speak?!

And then suddenly you did. Out of the blue one day nearly a month after having met the boys you just started talking like you had been that whole time. Funnily enough it was when he and Tae had been talking about Overwatch. The maknae line had gotten together to hang out one afternoon and of course Jimin had brought you. You meekly said hello to them as you entered and then remained entirely silent until they had started talking about who the better healer was in the game.

“Mercy’s probably the best healer overall as she’s built to be the very basic version of one. Can pump out the most healing at once as well as revive characters. If you’re solely talking about the healing part then she’s probably top, but she has her setbacks. I don’t generally like playing her and I always get stuck as the healer.”

The entire house was silent for what felt like an eternity as the two boys stared at you wide-eyed. Even Jin poked his head in from the kitchen briefly.

“Did (Y/N)-ssi just speak?”

Jimin looked up from flipping through a manga to look between everyone and you, not looking surprised in the least.

“Yeah. She’s a person, she does that from time to time.”

��“I mean, we’ve known her for- what- a month and I’ve maybe heard her speak at least half a dozen times?” Taehyung added. Jimin smirked and shook his head, looking back down at his manga.

“She’s shy. I thought she was going to throw up on me the first time I talked to her.”

Heat flared into your face as you gave him the softest glare a person could probably possess.

“It takes me a while to warm up to people, sorry. I’m still nervous to talk around everyone, but gaming is something I’m really into, so it’s easier to relate and talk about. If it’s not something like that I generally end up being a terrible conversationalist.”

“So you play games?”

Taehyung immediately switched his full attention to you, practically in your face as he spoke to you. Your nerves heightened, but you responded to him regardless, your answers getting shorter and shorter until even Jimin could sense your fatigue. You’d spent too long in the spotlight and it was draining you. Jungkook didn’t speak to you that whole time, Taehyung being the only one actually keeping a conversation with you. Instead he sat grumpily silent as he watched the interaction. He had no idea why he even disliked you. There was just something that upset him whenever he even thought about you. After about an hour of Tae grilling you Jimin came to the rescue, distracting the younger boy as he lifted you to your feet and ushered you towards the front door. With some excuse about meeting your mom for dinner he left with his arm around you, chuckling to himself as you two headed down to the first floor of the building.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, sounding tired.

“It’s what friends are for,” he replied slyly, snaking his other arm around you and squeezing you tight enough to lift you as he walked. It only lasted a moment and he put you back down to walk more comfortably beside him.

“I was actually just trying to get you to myself. If you start talking then all my hyungs will try and take you from me.”

He laughed a bit when you rolled your eyes, but kept close to you as he walked you home, holding your hand the whole time.

Your relationship with Jimin was a strange one, even you could admit that. Sometimes even you weren’t sure if he had feelings for you or not with the way he treated you, but you tried not to think to much about it. He was a good friend, though- attentive. He seemed to notice things about you that sometimes even you didn’t. The other members were kind as well, they accepted you openly despite your lack of any real communication and a few of them had even learned to communicate with you through other means. Tae took to texting you even when you were in the same room, giggling into his phone and sending you funny faces or teasing you. Yoongi seemed to get your answers usually without you even having to speak a word. Jin just threw lame jokes at you constantly, enjoying that you laughed at them. The only one that you didn’t seem to get along with was the maknae.

“I don’t think Jungkook likes me,” you mumbled one afternoon in Jimin’s room. Thankfully the other two residents of the room weren’t around, so you could speak freely.

“Oh? I don’t think that’s it.”

“He glares at me a lot and doesn’t ever talk to me.”

Jimin smirked at you, an eyebrow quirked.

“You rarely even speak, even to me.”

You glared softly at him, your lips pursing a bit.

“That’s not true. I talk to you loads.”

“Maybe for you, but compared to how much other people talk to me…”

Your eyes fell to your fiddling fingers, feeling a bit ashamed. Did it bother him?

“It’s sort of why I like hanging out with you so much. I spend majority of my days with people all around me, talking to me or at me. It’s like it’s never quiet unless I’m here alone in my room. But then that gets lonely, so you’re kind of like a happy medium. The quiet without the loneliness. Plus you’re so cute and I love watching you get flustered or excited,” he finally finished, winking at you.

You rolled your eyes and went back to your phone, trying to ignore his sultry chuckle and grinning stare. He really was such a flirt.

“It’s not that Jungkook, doesn’t like you, trust me. He just can’t get a read on you and I think it’s upsetting him.”

You frowned, blinking a few times as you looked back up.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re so quiet and I never share much about you. Plus our relationship is kind of ambiguous-“

“That’s your fault,” you muttered at him. He only grinned and waved his hand a bit.

“That’s beside the point. I think he just doesn’t get why we’re friends or why the others got so attached to you so quickly. He’s so busy trying to figure you out that he’s not taking the time to actually see you and he’s just getting more and more wary as time goes on.”

That explanation didn’t make you feel better at all and Jimin noticed.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly, trying to ease your anxiety, “… there’s eventually going to be a moment- just one simple moment- where he sees you for the first time for what you are and he’ll understand then.”

“That almost sounds like madness,” you mumbled again, staring down at your phone solemnly.

“It’s not. It’s what happened to me.”

He went back to his book after that, ignoring you when you tried to grill him on what his moment was when he realized he wanted to be friends with you. You were skeptical about what he said. Even if it did happen, how long would it take? You knew Jimin and Jungkook were close, so it didn’t feel great to have him dislike you. You wanted to try harder to get him to warm up to you, but had about as good of a read on him as he seemed to on you. You didn’t know how to get him to like you even a little more. Jimin regularly told you to stop worrying about it after that and just let it happen.

It wasn’t until another month later when it finally happened. You didn’t realize it at the time, but it had hit Jungkook like a ton of bricks. He’d gotten sick and was having trouble kicking the illness, in the kitchen slowly stirring some tea in hopes that it would stop the chills and clear his head and nose enough that his eyes would stop burning. A sad sniffle could be heard, followed by a weak cough and had anyone actually come out of their rooms they would’ve ordered him back to the couch. With everyone sharing rooms he was forced out into the living room to suffer alone so that he didn’t contaminate the room he shared with Jimin and Hoseok. They spent majority or their time in their rooms, the last thing they all needed was the maknae contaminating their safe space and passing the illness along.

The doorbell suddenly sounded and Jungkook groaned, lifting his tea and shuffling to the door. Who could be stopping by at a time like this? He didn’t bother using the peep hole and instead just opened the door, spotting you standing there looking shocked. He knew he should’ve kept himself in check better, but he just couldn’t stop his brows furrowing as he watched you shuffle back and forth from one leg to the other. Your arms shifted as you fiddled with something in your hands and his eyes finally dragged down to spot a white, plastic bag. He suspected you were here for Jimin, so he didn’t ask questions. Instead he just stepped back and pointed back with his thumb.

“Jimin’s in our room.”

He didn’t stick around to lead you in, shuffling back to the living room and plopping down on the couch. You followed him quickly, but quietly, making sure to close the door behind you as you went in. Normally you would’ve just headed back to Jimin, but you were on something of a mission so when you reached the doorway to the living room, you hesitated. You didn’t really know how to start, Jungkook’s attention being occupied by something else for a few minutes. Finally he seemed to feel you standing there, his glare shifting back to you.

“What?”

“Um,” you hesitated, fidgeting a bit.

“U-um…”

This was harder than it looked, especially with him looking so irritated.

“Uh-“

“If you need something ask someone else, I’m sick.” He said, looking back to his cup of tea.

“No- that’s… Jimin mentioned to me earlier that you were ill. He said you guys didn’t have a lot around for helping with being sick, so I stopped to pick some things up for you.”

At first he hadn’t thought he’d heard you right, taking a long moment to process your words. Finally he turned his gaze back to you, the surprise softening his expression enough to help you feel a little braver. You stepped further into the living room, crouching down by the small table and opening the bag. You pulled out various items as you spoke, explaining them.

“There’s tissues with lotion, vapor rub- put it on your chest for coughing and some around your nostrils to help clear your nose. It’ll burn a bit and it smells strong, but it helps. Um… more tissues, I suspect you’ll need a lot. Some vitamins, Echinacea and vitamin C. Echinacea is supposed to help with your immune system. Vitamin C was supposed to as well, but I learned it actually doesn’t. It just eases some of your symptoms so it feels like it’s helping, which I guess is help in and of itself. I got some over the counter stuff too in case you can’t wait to get better before getting back to work. Sinus pills, extra pain pills for headaches. I always get a lot when I’m sick, especially with sinus problems.”

You paused as you rifled through the bag one last time, seeing that you had pulled out everything he could use out here. You stood and lifted the bag with you the weight of it reminding you what items were left.

“There’s some soups in here, honey and some lemon juice for tea. Honey is supposed to coat your throat so it’ll help if it’s dry or scratchy. If you don’t own one and need it, I can take Jimin out to get you a humidifier. There’s a kind where you can get vapor tabs to stick in it so you don’t have to put the rub on your chest or anything. I-“

“Stop!” He finally said, his hand held up and his eyes a little wide as he stared up at you. There was no irritation or anger about him and his tone seemed more shocked than anything else. This was the most he’d ever heard you speak at all, let alone in one go. You’d probably said more just now than you had in the time you’d known them all.

“How do you know about all this stuff?”

Your cheeks heated a bit, feeling self-conscious to hear him actually speak to you and not just at you.

“We never had much money growing up and I wasn’t a fan of doctors so my mom never really took me unless I was really sick and wasn’t getting better. All this stuff is just what she used to do for me and what I eventually learned to start doing for myself. It’s not always a quick fix, but it’s cheaper than a doctor and it helps. You should try and sweat it out too, take showers or a bath- even just sit in the bathroom with the hot water running. It’ll help with your sinuses too-“

“Okay, okay. You sound like a less severe version of Web MD,” he interrupted again, smiling a bit at you. You grinned a little back, chuckling and shrugging your shoulders.

That was it; that was the moment. It struck him like a meteor falling to earth and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. You’d been such a silent mystery all this time and he could never figure you out, or why you were friends with Jimin. It was like he’d been looking at you in the dark and now he was seeing you in the light for the first time. Your small smile that seemed so natural that he didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it before. Your bright eyes with their soft gaze. You were no longer shifting nervously from foot to foot, instead standing still with your weight on one leg. A racket of coughing finally pulled him from his daydreaming, his mug of tea being gently taken from him as you pressed the back of your fingers to his forehead. They were cold and they felt nice.

“You don’t seem to be running a fever. That cough sounds pretty bad, though.”

You retreated from the living room and into the kitchen, abandoning the bag of soups and heading back into the hallway that lead to all the rooms. When you returned Jimin was with you and he was shrugging on a coat. You smiled softly at Jungkook, who watched you closely. Jimin immediately noticed that the look in his eyes had changed since when he’d first met you. He smirked and shook his head a bit, Jungkook must’ve found his moment. You stepped close enough to pat the maknae on the shoulder a couple of times.

“We’re going to go get you that humidifier. Put some vapor rub on your chest for now.”

You turned and left with Jimin before he could respond and he was left sitting there in something of a daze. Just trying to figure out what had happened.

“Is it just me or does something seem different with Jungkook, lately?” Taehyung asked, filling his mouth with some snack he was eating. Namjoon looked up between Jimin and Tae, shrugging slightly and shaking his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, he just seems… different. Like with (Y/N). He almost never spoke to her before he got sick, now he talks to her a lot more. He’s really quiet with us lately too, like he’s always thinking about something.”

Again Namjoon shrugged.

“I haven’t noticed.”

“Oh something’s different all right,” Jimin said, chuckling as he flipped a page in the magazine he was reading.

“You know what’s up, don’t you?” Taehyung questioned again, eyeing his friend for a long moment.

“It’s (Y/N). I think he’s starting to realize how he actually feels about her.”

Namjoon let out a questioning ‘huh’ as his face scrunched up a bit.

“I always thought he didn’t like her.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Tae added.

“What he didn’t like was that he couldn’t get a handle on her. She’s not like most girls we know and to instantly feel something for her without really knowing what it was. It got him all mixed up and he just got upset and irritated, instead of letting the feelings happen.”

“What are you even talking about?” Namjoon questioned.

“You can’t seriously sit there and tell me that Jungkook actually likes her.”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Taehyung deadpanned, not buying it at all.

“The heart doesn’t make sense, my friend.”

Both Taehyung and Namjoon looked at each other skeptically, Tae even rolling his eyes at his friend. Jimin just chuckled and shook his head, going back to his magazine. They’d see it in time. He might deny it if asked outright, but he wouldn’t be able to stave off his feelings for long. They’d come out in some way even if he didn’t want them to.

You noticed, but tried not to. The less you thought about it the less likely you were to go overboard. You’d trained yourself a long time ago not to see every guy you became friends with as a possible dating prospect. It saved you a lot of heartache and made it easier for you to get along with people. So, while you noticed his change in behavior towards you, you did your best to keep it in a tiny dark corner in the back of your mind. It was only stupid little things anyway, right? Him speaking to you a little more now, getting your plate for you when Jin decided to cook for everyone. His excuse was that there were so many guys all crowded around being rowdy and fighting over the dishes, someone had to get your plate for you or you’d never be able to eat. He walked next to you more often now when you all went out together and he even bought you a drink from time to time when you guys would stop at convenience stores. It was all small things- minuscule things. Things that Jimin did for you because he was your friend.

So that made Jungkook your friend now right?

But it only ever happened around others. Jungkook never allowed himself to be alone with you, not that you wanted that. You’d probably die of awkwardness if you were left alone with the boy that had seemed to hate you so much not long ago. So maybe it was because someone said something to him and he was being forced to play nice with you now? That would hurt more than him disregarding you like he was before. At least then you would know for sure what he thought about you. Which you didn’t because he never talked to you about it. If you two spoke at all it was little things, usually your orders for food or thanking each other when one of you got the other something.

“Jungkook’s been acting differently lately,” you mumbled to Jimin who was pressed against your side as you two played a handheld game together.

“I told you it would happen,” he said knowingly, not sounding too shocked or worried about it.

“I don’t know if that means he actually likes me. He’s just more civilized with me.”

“He takes care of you in small ways, (Y/N). People who are being ‘just civilized’ wouldn’t go that far.”

“It’s only little things every once and a while.”

“Little things that friends would do.”

“Are we friends? I have no idea. He’s never alone with me so the only time he’s like that is around others.”

Jimin chuckled, but didn’t reply.

“One of you guys didn’t say something to him, did you?”

“Nope, I made sure the others stayed out of it. I knew how you would feel if we meddled.”

You didn’t reply, not sure what else you could respond with. You had no reason to think Jimin had lied to you, he never had before. That meant there was no other explanation for Jungkook being kinder to you. It was something he’d come to of his own accord and was now… A friend. Still, saying it in your head felt almost wrong. Jimin suddenly paused, turning his body a bit to face you as he smirked.

“Why do you care so much about what he thinks of you anyway? Generally you don’t.”

Why did you care so much? It wasn’t like he meant a whole lot to you. And it wasn’t like you were trying to win his affections either. The thought had warmth spreading across your face and you tried desperately to ignore Jimin’s growing grin. You rolled your eyes and glared at him softly, pouting a bit though your face was still hot.

“He’s your friend, he’s important to you. I want your friends to like and be okay with me being around.”

“Oh? You make it sound like we’re dating.”

His grin only grew more. You scoffed and rolled your eyes again, focusing back on the game.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled out, bumping your shoulder with his lightly.

“Look, instead of worrying about it so much, maybe just accept that things are better between you two now. You always worry too much about things.”

“Oh, (Y/N)… I didn’t know you’d be in here. Is hyung around?”

Your heart practically burst from your chest as the door opened and Jungkook’s voice reached your ears, not Jimin’s. You’d been waiting for him for nearly 30 minutes, having been told to wait in his room and that he would be home soon. Granted two others shared the room with him, but he’d told you no one was home and that you’d be fine waiting in there. Unfortunately it seemed one of the other occupants reached home before he did. Your face felt hot as you shook your head, trying to stutter out an answer.

“N-no! He told me to wait here for him. He’s supposed to be home soon. I can go out in the living room if you need the room, he just told me to wait in here.”

“No, it’s fine. I was just going to grab a couple of things. I need to head back out.”

He swept passed you, moving to one of the dressers and digging through it. It took him only a moment before he was grabbing a couple pieces of clothing and moving next to his bedside table. You watched a little curiously as he dug around the items he had there, finally pulling a couple of cords and his laptop up to set them on the bed. You were strangely entranced as you watched him work, but were forced to tear your eyes away when your phone went off. You didn’t need to look at your screen to know who it was, Jimin always having had a special ringtone from everyone else.

“Oppa…”

“(Y/N) I am so sorry!”

“You’re going to be longer, aren’t you?”

“I honestly thought I would be done by now, but things just keep getting more complicated. I’m trying to hurry them along, but at this rate…”

To be honest it wasn’t that big of a deal. You knew how busy Jimin was and it wasn’t like tonight was special in some way. You smiled a bit, even though you knew he couldn’t see you, and shook your head.

“It’s okay, no worries. I know things can get hectic. I’ll just head home and we can try later this week.”

“About that, I took a peek outside and it looks terrible out.”

“Oh,” you replied solemnly, making your way to the one window they had in the room and peeking out of the curtains. In did indeed look terrible out. It was practically a white-out, your eyes unable to see even to the street the snow was coming down so hard. You let out a sigh, the frustration getting to you as you stared at what you could only describe as your doom. You would have to walk home in that.

“Is hyung not coming?” Jungkook finally questioned behind you, standing at his bed and looking almost shy. You nodded, pouting a bit as you looked back to the window.

“His schedule is running longer than expected.”

“Is that Jungkook?” Jimin questioned, seeming to perk up on the other end.

“Mm,” you hummed in affirmation.

“Oh! Perfect! I really don’t want you walking home in this. I was going to suggest you spend the night, but I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

Immediately your cheeks heated and you turned on your heel so you were no longer facing the youngest of the group.

“I can’t spend the night here! Where would I even sleep?” They had a couch of course, but how crappy would it be for the other members to finally get home from their schedules and not be able to relax in their own living room because you were passed out on the couch?

“You can sleep with me,” he replied and you could hear the smirk on his lips.

“Oppa,” you said in a scolding manner. He was laughing when you replied and it only made your frown grow.

“Okay, okay. You can sleep in my bed. I’ll share with Junkook or Hobi-hyung.”

“I can’t just invade your house like that.”

“Is Jungkook near? Can I talk to him?”

You sighed, turning to face the only other person in the room who was still standing by curiously. You reluctantly handed the phone to him and busied yourself with fiddling with your fingers as you listened to Jungkook’s side of the conversation.

“Hyung, I’m not staying. I was going down to the dance studio to work on some things. I’m driving there so I can just take her home on the way… She walks here and back every time she comes over, it’s not that far. If she can walk it all the time, I can drive it in this weather. It’s not that big of a deal.”

He sighed, one of his hands coming up to rest on his hip.

“If I’m driving her with me to the studio then I can just drive her home… Hyung the studio is half way there already! Why would I take her with me to the studio only to drive her back here because you refuse to let her go home?”

You rolled your eyes, stepping close to Jungkook and gently pulling the phone from his ear. He still held onto it, but let you put the device up to your ear.

“-se just work with me here a little, kid.”

“I don’t have anything here, oppa. I’ll just get a cab home.”

“If you can even get one to drive in this. We can lend you clothes to sleep in and you can use my toothbrush and stuff if you really need to.”

“Oppa-“

“I’m not letting you go home in this, (Y/N). That’s final.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, unable to do anything, but concede.

“Fine, but I’ll stay here on my own and wait for you. Don’t make Jungkook take me all the way to the studio with him.”

Jimin was silent for a long moment before he sighed.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay alone?”

“Mm, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, help yourself to any of the food and don’t be afraid to use the TV or my laptop.”

You nodded, finally taking the phone from Jungkook’s hand.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get home.”

You sighed, but smiled a bit at the boy before you.

“It’s okay, I’m just going to wait here for him. You can go on ahead.”

“You sure?”

“I’m not a child, thank you. I’m capable of being on my own for a time.”

He raised his hands and took a step back.

“Okay, okay. I’m heading out then.”

You nodded and quietly wished him luck on whatever he was meant to work on. You shuffled your way over to Jimin’s bed, shedding your coat and laying it neatly on the edge. Jungkook was nearly out the door, only pausing to glance back at you and make sure you were fine. It seemed to be a mistake, though. His pause turned into a full stop, his eyes watching you as you seemed to fidget uncomfortably while you looked around the room. When you sighed, he could hear the nervousness in your voice. He shook his head and continued on, intent on getting to the dance studio to work on this new choreo. He didn’t need to worry about you, you’d be fine once Jimin got home. And he kept telling himself that as he stepped out the door, turning to lock it with his key. You would be fine right? You looked like a lost puppy standing awkwardly in his shared room, looking around nervously and unable to even sit down comfortably.

“Damn it,” he sighed out, letting his head fall to the door loud enough that it made a noise. He couldn’t just leave you. He hadn’t even managed to pull the key from the lock before he changed his mind, re-unlocking the door and heading back inside.

“Alright, come on.”

You nearly screamed, jumping up from Jimin’s bed and standing rigidly as Jungkook rested his hand against the door jam. He didn’t mean to scare you, making a face as he tried not to laugh at your wide eyes and rigid form. For a second he thought he might’ve given you a heart attack as it took you a good thirty seconds to finally breathe out and move.

“Wh-what?”

“Hyung is right, I can’t leave you here by yourself. Come on, I’ll take you to the dance studio with me.”

“You don’t have to, really, I’ll be fine.”

“Nope, no. Come on, put your coat on. Let’s go.”

You wanted to protest more, but you were kind of relieved. While you didn’t want to burden him in any way, you thought you might die of anxiety if you’d been left alone in the boys’ house. So, while you hesitated, you eventually turned to put your coat back on and gather up your bag, stepping up to him as he stood in the doorway. He turned on his heel and headed back out, not looking back to see if you were following. He didn’t really need to, you were hot on his heels.

You two barely spoke on the way to the dance studio, though the drive was slow with the snow. You felt awkward and nervous, but Jungkook looked surprisingly relaxed the whole drive. You wanted to tell him again that he didn’t need to take you with him, but seeing as how you were already in the car that idea seemed obsolete. So instead you sat fiddling with your fingers and staring out the passenger’s side window. When you could, you would stare at his reflection in your window, but you rarely ever looked his way. You’d done it a couple of times when you’d first started on your way and it always drew his attention. Staring at his reflection didn’t alert him in any way, though, so it was a safer option. Every time he looked at you it nearly sent you in to cardiac arrest. You couldn’t take the stress of being alone with him.

Why did he make you so nervous?

Jimin sighed as he sat back in the booth, checking his phone again to see if you had contacted him.

“If you’re so worried, why don’t you just go home?” Taehyung said, quickly thanking the waiter that delivered his drink.

“Because I told her I was still at my schedule. If I go back she might figure out I lied and she might not even be there.”

“She would figure out you lied. She’s shy, not stupid. And I thought you said Jungkook didn’t take her with him.” Yoongi added.

Jimin smirked a little, trying to hide his worry.

“I just have a feeling is all.”

“Uh-huh and what feeling is that? You seem awfully sure that Jungkook holds some kind of dormant flame for her.” Taehyung replied, pointing his spoon at his friend. Jimin chuckled, sitting forward and going back to his food.

“And you seem awfully sure he doesn’t.”

“Why would he? He doesn’t even talk about her. Sure he’s nicer to her now and he’s acting a little weirder around us, but that doesn’t mean he likes her. Hell, if anything you would be more likely to catch feelings for her. You practically treat her like a girlfriend as it is.”

“Well I don’t have feelings for her.”

“But somehow, Kookie does?”

Jimin rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out again deciding to text you instead of replying to Taehyung.

Hey, (Y/N)! How are you? Everything okay? You haven’t burned the house down yet, have you?

No, I haven’t. I’m not even there. Jungkook decided it would be better if he took me to the studio with him.

Jimin smirked again, producing his phone for Taehyung to see. The younger man rolled his eyes, but didn’t reply making Jimin chuckle.

Ooh? Well either way, have fun! Kookie’s one of our best dancers, so whatever he’s working on will be entertaining, I’m sure.

You practically glared at the winking face he sent with his message, your eyes quickly casting back up to Jungkook as he moved through the steps of the choreo he was working on. Jimin was right when he said the younger member was a good dancer. While you weren’t able to even look his way in the car, you were unable to look away from him as he danced. He was powerful and fluid in his movements, like water crashing against a rocky shore and wearing it down. He wasn’t quite as graceful as Jimin, who was more like air moving about the room with elegant and light steps. Jungkook was more like the earth moving. Powerful, fluid and unstoppable once he started. You could see why he sweat so much now.

And boy was he sweating.

The droplets that rolled from his hair line fell off his skin quickly and you half expected him to slip or something from it. If he’d stood still long enough you swore he could’ve made a puddle. You tried to distract yourself with thoughts like that instead of thinking how good looking he was. You’d never seen him like this before, not close enough to him to be around when he practiced dancing. So seeing him in this manner for the first time hit you hard. Your phone suddenly buzzed again in your hand, another message from Jimin coming up.

Don’t stare too hard~.

You grimaced at the second winking face he sent you, glaring at the message with a vow to give him a good wallop when you saw him again. What did he know anyway? You scoffed and tossed your phone onto your small pile of things, your coat laying over your bag as it was too hot in the studio to keep it on.

“Something wrong?”

You hadn’t even noticed that Jungkook had stopped both his dancing and the music.

“Oh, um… Jimin-oppa. He’s…”

“Being a creep?”

“Something like that,” you agreed, scowling at the phone again. Jungkook chuckled a bit, fiddling with something on his laptop as he spoke to you.

“He’s used to being the small, sweet guy of our group. He enjoys having someone younger to tease. Makes him feel manlier.”

“Doesn’t make him any less of a creep.”

He chuckled again, smiling more.

“He says you’re cute when you’re flustered or mad.”

You scoffed again, but there was no denying the heat that flared in your cheeks. It wasn’t so much because it was Jimin’s opinion, but more so because Jungkook had said it.

“Yeah? W-well what does he know?”

A long moment of silence stretched between you two as you stared at your fiddling fingers, glaring a bit.

“I don’t think he’s wrong,” Jungkook finally said lowly, as if he’d been hoping you wouldn’t catch it.

But you did.

The heat returned tenfold, spreading to your ears and down your neck until you felt too hot to think. Jungkook stared hard at his laptop, almost looking like he might’ve regretted saying that. You stood suddenly and fidgeted a bit, smoothing out your pants and shirt. Your gaze darted around for a moment before you finally turned tail and headed for the door.

“I’m going to stretch my legs for a minute!” You practically shouted, not waiting for a response before you unintentionally slammed the door behind you.

Jungkook sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead and groaning. What the hell had he been thinking saying something like that? You’d practically internally combusted. Were you pissed now? Or just flustered? What did it matter if you were flustered?! Why should he care? You were just Jimin’s friend, that’s all. Right?

You sighed, taking in one last deep breath and letting it out slowly as your head fell to the glass of the vending machine in front of you. What was wrong with you? So Jungkook inadvertently called you cute, so what? It’s a compliment from someone who was finally starting to feel like a friend. You got those all the time from Jimin, why would it be any different for him? You groaned and hit your head against the vending machine again. You stepped back and looked between the two machines, one holding beverages and the other snacks. You’d been at the dance studio for nearly an hour now and Jungkook hadn’t stopped once to even drink water.

Digging around in your pockets, you found what change you usually carried and picked out a couple of water bottles and snacks. Thankfully they came out without much of a fuss and you carried them back to the studio room. Jungkook was still at his laptop when you entered again, not even looking your way as you closed the door. Not sure what to say or how to make the air less awkward you settled for just walking over and setting the water and snack next to him on the floor. He waited until you retreated back to your spot before he looked down at the snack and then up to you.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, grabbing both items and getting to work consuming them. He ate them much faster than you did and quickly went back to work, spending a moment or two more on his laptop before standing and going back to dancing. You tried to watch him less this time, but your eyes never strayed from him for long. He noticed too. When you weren’t focused on his face, he was watching you too. Watched the way your gaze sharpened and focused, the way your pupils expanded so that your eyes almost looked black from this distance as you tried to take in every minute movement he made. Your eyes looked almost hungry and it made something stir in him that he wasn’t sure he was ready to figure out yet. You two didn’t speak for the rest of his practice and the ride back to the dorms was silent and awkward.

“I’m taking a shower!” Jungkook practically shouted as soon as he entered the dorm, quickly grabbing what he needed from his room and slamming the bathroom door shut. Both Jimin and Taehyung looked at you curiously and all you could do was shrug back at them with an equally curious expression.

“What happened,” Jimin questioned, moving on the couch so you could sit next to him.

“I don’t know. There was an awkward moment, but it wasn’t that bad. Not enough to make him that upset, I don’t think.”

Taehyung suddenly elbowed Jimin, the younger boy clearing his throat and casting his eyes down to the hand resting over his own crotch. It took Jimin a moment, but he finally caught on and it took all his self-control not to burst into laughter. He turned to you with a strange look in his eyes, very nearly smirking as he spoke.

“Nothing at all happened? Not even something good?”

You rolled your eyes and glared at Jimin.

“What does that even mean?”

“So something good did happen,” he replied, sitting back and nodding knowingly.

“Nothing happened. He took me to the studio, he worked and danced and that was it!”

“You look pretty flustered for nothing happening.” Jimin sneered with a grin on his face.

“What happened, (Y/N)?” Taehyung asked, his curiosity a little more innocent than Jimin’s.

“Nothing! He just… he inadvertently said I was cute is all…” You finally mumbled, looking away and twiddling your fingers a bit. Jimin practically burst with glee, his grin growing as he wiggled around in his seat. You glared at him incredulously, looking to Taehyung who was rolling his eyes much like you had a few moments ago.

“So what? So he called her cute, that doesn’t mean anything. I think she’s cute.”

“Yeah, but you can easily admit stuff like that. It’s not so easy for Jungkookie.”

“You’re crazy, oppa. Even Tae-oppa thinks so. Jungkook and I can barely manage being friends.”

“Ah, I’m not having this argument with you guys. Go use the other bathroom to wash up. I’ll get you some warm clothes to change into.”

You did as you were told, changing into the sweats and big shirt Jimin produced before heading to his room. Jungkook was the only one you found in there, though and when he spotted you he froze.

“Wha-… what are you wearing?”

You blinked a couple of times, moving the things you held in your arms to reveal your outfit fully.

“Oppa gave them to me to sleep in. Why?”

Surely he knew you were spending the night. He’d been right there when you and Jimin had discussed it. Maybe he was unaware that you were sleeping in there? Jimin chose that moment to enter, a snack in his hand as he stepped up next to you and grinned.

“You look cute.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook interrupted, walking over to grab the older man by the arm and pull him a step or two away from you.

“Why is she wearing my clothes?”

“You gave me his clothes?!”

Jimin looked between you two curiously, not missing the heat in both your faces.

“Well yeah, I had to. Your legs are too long to wear anything I own.”

All you could do was stare down at the clothes you wore, flustered and self-conscious to know that they belonged to Jungkook. Jimin grinned devilishly as he watched Jungkook do much the same, his face holding a look of disbelief, but his eyes never straying from you. It wasn’t until Taehyung burst through the door that everyone finally moved, you quickly crawling into Jimin’s bed to partially hide yourself in his covers and Jungkook going back to shuffling around his bed getting ready.

“(Y/N)-ssi~! Want someone to snuggle with while you sleep?” He cooed, moving to crawl under the covers with you. He was immediately pushed away, though, Jimin coming to your rescue as both he and Jungkook shouted out a ‘no.’

“If anyone sleeps with her it’s me,” Jimin griped.

“Hyung don’t be creepy, she gets enough of that from Jimin.” Jungkook followed up, earning a glare from the mentioned elder.

“That’s Jimin-hyung.”

“Is anyone going to let (Y/N)-ssi answer?”

Everyone looked to you and you could only swallow thickly as you pulled Jimin’s comforter further up to cover part of your face.

“I’m fine sleeping on my own, thank you,” you mumbled, Jimin being the only one to really catch it.

“What was that?”

“She said she doesn’t want to share a bed with you, now get out,” Jimin reiterated for you, forcefully turning Taehyung and shoving him out the door.

“Alright, I’m going! Good night (Y/N)-ssi!”

“Good night,” you mumbled, probably too quietly for him to hear, but Jimin effectively shut him out before he could say anything. With a heavy sigh Jimin turned back around, a grin now on his face as if nothing had happened.

“Okay, ready for bed?”

You just nodded silently, not sure what else to do or say. It was only after Jimin had turned the room light off- two small lamps still on to provide dim lighting, one by Jungkook’s bed and one by Hoseok’s- that you remembered the missing members.

“What about Hobi-oppa?”

“He and Yoongi-hyung are still out. They probably won’t return until late, but we usually leave his lamp on so he can see when he comes in. It won’t bother you will it?”

You shook your head, the light too dim to bother you. Settling further into the bed and rolling to one side, you watched while Jungkook and Jimin climbed into the maknae’s bed, Jimin rolling to face you with a grin. You only gave him a small smile in return, closing your eyes the instant Jungkook turned off his lamp. Hopefully sleep would take you quickly.

How you had managed it, you would never know, but ever so slowly- as months passed and winter turned into summer- your relationship with Jungkook got easier. He spoke to you more and in a friendly manner, was usually next to you whenever you guys were all out; eventually he grew to sitting next to you whenever you were in the living room. As things got easier with the others around, so too did they when you two were alone. You’d grown to no longer be so nervous in the Bangtan house and often stopped by even without Jimin there. If you’d come over to wait for him, he’d likely find you with Jungkook or Taehyung passing the time. Jimin had even mentioned that Jungkook spent nearly as much time with you as he himself did.

“(Y/N), do you still have that headset I lent you for your PC?” You heard Jungkook ask as he entered the living room, you and Jimin sitting on the floor playing a card game.

“Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me!”

You hopped up, taking your cards with you, and headed to your bag. It took you a moment of rummaging, speaking as Jungkook peered curiously over your shoulder.

“I finally got my new one in, so I’ve been meaning to return it to you.”

Finally you stood and turned, stepping back with shock to see the maknae so close behind you. He didn’t seem to be mindful of it, though, his hands coming up to engulf yours as he gathered up the cords and head piece. His hands were warm and soft and you swore he was dragging his fingers across your hand on purpose. It cause heat to splash into your face and you had to clear your throat, hiding your now tingling hand behind you.

“Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Thanks for bringing it back in one piece.”

He grinned at you, a blinding effect, before turning and retreating back to his room. You let out the breath you hadn’t known you were holding, trying to calm your nerves a little.

“That wasn’t obvious or anything,” you suddenly heard from Jimin, the older man not looking at you as he spoke. Instead he was nonchalantly placing down cards as if he hadn’t said anything at all.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You griped, moving to plop back down in your place across from him.

“You might as well have just come out and told him you loved him.”

The heat from before flared to life in your face, your body going rigid as it stretched all the way to your ears and neck.

“Are you crazy?!” You whispered harshly, leaning forward and glaring at your friend.

“Could you say that any louder?! And what’re you even talking about? I don’t love Jungkook.”

Jimin smirked, looking up from rearranging the cards in his hand.

“If that were true, your reaction would’ve been much tamer. Besides you can’t hide anything from me. I’ve been watching you two from the beginning, remember?”

“We’re friends now, we get along. That doesn’t mean I have any other feelings than that!”

Jimin rolled his eyes and smiled, but remained silent. He’d learned a while ago that both you and Jungkook would argue into your graves with him about this. Neither one of you would admit he was right. Jungkook was way easier to spot at it than you, though. While your only tell-tales were you getting shy and flustered, Jungkook was more… obvious. He sat so close to you sometimes that it made almost Jimin jealous. He was always next to you, whether you guys were sitting down for a movie or out shopping and getting food with everyone. It had gotten to a point where you might as well have been called Jungkook’s friend and not Jimin’s.

“(Y/N)-ssi! I didn’t know you were coming over today!”

You were pretty much tackled to the ground as Taehyung hugged you, having grown accustomed to smothering you with all his affection at any given time. It nearly sent you to your death the first few times, but he was a force to be reckoned with and was unstoppable in his love for everyone. So eventually you were just forced to get used to it. Thankfully you had Jimin- and at surprising times Jungkook- to save you from being smothered too much for too long.

“H-hello, Tae-oppa…”

At that moment you expected Jimin to lean over and smack his friend until he got off you, but you watched with dismay as he only grinned at something you couldn’t see. Tae was suddenly lifted off you, the sight of Jungkook tossing his hyung onto the couch meeting you as you sat up.

“Yah! What was that for?!”

“Stop hanging all over her, you make her nervous.”

Your face heated at Jungkook’s comment, conveniently burying your face in your hand of cards so as not to stare at him. Or glance at Jimin for that matter, who was smirking so devilishly that he could probably set you on fire. Taehyung was left to pout on the couch as Jungkook plopped down next to you, motioning for Jimin to deal him some cards. You tried to ignore how close he’d sat, but as you stared your cards into oblivion you found yourself unable to read what was actually on them.

“You have to wait,” Jimin mumbled to Jungkook who pouted out a ‘hyung.’

“We’re in the middle of a game, I can’t just deal you in. We’re almost done.”

“Actually,” you piped up, the bickering between the maknae and Jimin giving you the extra time you needed to actually read your hand. You smiled a little and laid it out before you, showing off that you’d won.

“Damn it.”

With a sigh he tossed his hand down, letting you gather up the cards. It was your turn to shuffle.

“Want to play, oppa?” You asked, looking up to Taehyung who grinned and slid off the couch to sit next to Jimin. Jungkook suddenly stood, retreating into the kitchen as you got to work shuffling the cards.

“Jungkookie, get me a coke!” Taehyung called, Jimin shouting out after him that he wanted one too.

“You want something, (Y/N)?” Jimin questioned, Jungkook re-entering with a bag of chips and an arm full of drinks.

“I already got everyone something,” he said nonchalantly, sitting back down and handing everyone a drink. He took the time to open yours for you as you started dealing out cards, thanking whatever gods that you had to focus on counting and not his hand brushing your knee as he set the drink next to you. You finished dealing out the cards and everyone got to work trying to get their hands together.

Three hours, four bags of chips and probably about 8 drinks between the four of you later and you were leaning against the foot of the couch practically passed out. You’d tapped out of the actual card games at about the fifth one in, drained of any energy left to try and beat those guys. Now you were slowly losing consciousness as you watched them play. At some point Jungkook had taken off his flannel shirt and tossed it over your legs, your scrunched up form giving away that you were a little cold.

“(Y/N)-ssi~,” Taehyung cooed, reaching out to link one of his fingers with one of yours that he could reach, “… you’re falling asleep over there.”

You hummed in affirmation, unable to even open your eyes fully let alone speak to him. Jimin moved from his place at your response, leaving his cards in front of where he sat and standing to make his way to you.

“Do you want to spend the night?” Jimin asked lowly as he slowly lowered himself next to you, pulling you gently against him so that your head rested on his shoulder. Again you hummed, but this time in a more ambiguous fashion, neither denying nor agreeing to stay over. While it was something you’d come to do more than a few times in your friendship with the boys, you couldn’t help still feeling awkward every time you did.

“I can take her home, if she doesn’t want to stay,” Jungkook offered. You wanted to take him up on that, but Jimin beat you to the punch.

“It’s okay, she’ll stay here. She can sleep in my bed like always. Can you get some of your things to sleep in? I’ll take her to the bathroom.”

With cheeks dusted pink, Jungkook nodded and stood. He was still flustered about you sleeping in his clothes.

“Can you stand for me?” Jimin asked you quietly, running his fingers through your hair soothingly. You nodded, inhaling deeply and forcing yourself to sit up straighter. You shook your head a bit to clear it, the prospect of actually going to sleep in a bed getting you on your feet. With Jimin following you, Taehyung stayed behind to start cleaning up. Jimin’s hands hovered around you as you started walking, making sure you weren’t going to fall as you woke up a little. When he was sure you could walk on your own he moved closer, one of his hands rubbing your back as he led you to the bathroom. You washed up and changed, moving slowly until you were crawling into Jimin’s bed.

You sighed at its softness, your body crying in relief as you finally got to lay down and let it relax. You squirmed a bit in the bed, smiling as Jimin chuckled at you. You blinked a couple of times, noting that only Jimin occupied Jungkook’s bed. His gaze held a hint of fatigue like yours, though not quite as severe.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Helping Taehyung clean up. I think they were going to stay up a bit later too.”

You hummed, your eyes falling closed and sleep quickly creeping up on you. You vaguely heard Jimin whisper out a ‘good night’ before you slipped away. He watched you silently for a moment before rolling over and turning the lamp next to Jungkook’s bed off. He smirked to himself as he looked back at you, spreading out a little more so he took up more of Jungkook’s bed. He briefly wondered what the maknae would do when he couldn’t use his own bed. Hobi-hyung slept spread out most of the time as well and he tended to kick in his sleep. You, on the other hand, slept scrunched up and on one side. Would he brave sharing a bed with you? He had the options of the couch and floor which were more likely. Jimin liked to dream that he would choose an option closest to you, though, however unlikely that was.

Jungkook yawned as he entered his shared room, the darkness of it reminding him that everyone was asleep. He’d already washed up, so all he had to do was make it into bed without causing a raucous. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, though, he was able to spot his problem. Jimin slept nearly spread eagle in his bed, taking up the majority of the space so that there was no room for him. He frowned at the sight, reach down to shake his hyung lightly and whisper at him.

“Hyung…”

No movement.

“Hyung wake up.”

Still Jimin did not stir, forcing Jungkook to shake him a little harder.

“Hyung… Hyung!”

Finally Jimin woke, letting out a whiny moan at being pulled from his slumber. He mumbled out a ‘what,’ Jungkook leaning closer and trying to ignore how loud he was being.

“Hyung you’re taking up my whole bed. Move over.”

Again Jimin groaned, waving Jungkook off and sighing out a reply.

“Go sleep with (Y/N).”

“Seriously? This is my bed. Hyung? Jimin-hyung!”

But Jimin was already gone, drifting back into the world of dreams and leaving Jungkook to straighten and sigh. He looked around for a moment, weighing his options as he looked back at Hoseok’s bed. He was spread out as well and Jungkook didn’t fancy getting a random knee to his side in the middle of the night. He could sleep out on the couch, but it was about as comfortable as the floor and he’d be left open to the other members wandering about him and disturbing his sleep.

With another sigh he moved to the closet, picking out the extra bedding they kept in there and getting to work making a place to sleep on the floor. He picked out the extra pillows they had lying around the room and made himself as good of a mattress as he could. He’d laid it out in between his and Jimin’s bed, trying not to notice how close he’d put it to Jimin’s. He could sleep a bit closer to you on the floor without it being weird, right? No harm, no foul. With his makeshift bed made he finally settled down, finding the most comfortable position and finally closing his eyes. It was surprisingly comfortable, so he would fall asleep quickly.

Or at least he thought he would. No sooner had he felt his muscles relax and his body sink further into the pillows, he felt a soft and soothing touch to his head. Cool, soft fingers ran lightly through his hair a few times before he finally turned to look up at you. You were laying with part of your upper half hanging over the edge of the bed, your arm hanging down to pet his head and your smiling face resting on your other arm. Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat, amazed that you could look so beautiful even in the dark. He wanted to freeze this moment and stare at you for the rest of the night. He wanted to see those sleepy eyes as the sun rose to light the room. To see that soft smile as night became day, your face glowing in the light. Your hair all a beautiful mess around your face and making you look so soft and comfortable that all he wanted to do was crawl into bed next to you. In that moment you were so perfect to him that it stole his breath away.

“Sorry,” you whispered softly, your tired smile growing.

“Your hair always looks so soft, I wanted to touch it just once.”

He shook his head a bit, not trusting his voice.

“Jimin kicked you out of bed.” It was more of a statement, but he nodded anyway. Your hand slipped from his hair to fall and rest near his shoulder and Jungkook didn’t stop himself from reaching up to gently tangle his fingers with yours. He spent so much time trying to keep his distance that for just this one moment he wanted to give himself something.

“I’m sorry,” you finally said, your eyes sparkling even in the darkness of the room. It was like he was looking at the starry sky.

“It’s okay,” he finally replied just as softly.

And then for a long time you two just laid there staring at each other, your hand reaching up to playing with a few strands of his hair. Eventually he gave in to closing his eyes serenely and leaning into your touch. Sometimes you would whisper out a giggle and other times you would just smile tiredly. Eventually you moved to simply petting him, running your fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes. He drifted off to your touch, sleeping more soundly than he had in who knows how long.

Jimin woke the next morning to see Jungkook laying on the floor against your bed, your arm hanging over the edge and your fingers gently tangled in his hair. He never did tell you that he had a picture of it on his phone. He also never said anything to you after you two woke and neither you nor Jungkook mentioned it after that, but the dynamic between you two changed again.

“Yah, when am I actually going to get to hang out with you alone again?” Jimin whined, laying on your bed as you finished putting laundry away. A last minute chore you wanted to finish before you two left to meet Jungkook and Taehyung for a movie.

“You’re going to have to take that up with your members. I just go where I’m invited.”

Jimin sighed, but stood and grabbed your jacket for you. You closed the last drawer you had open on your dresser and turned so he could help you get it on. You could tell he wasn’t really upset, at least not at the fact he couldn’t hang out with you alone anymore. He just seemed the type to like to whine for no reason.

“You could always come hangout with me without telling them,” you suggested.

“You’d be devastated not to see Jungkook.” He sneered, chuckling at you.

You were so used to him teasing you about Jungkook now that you only rolled your eyes and hit his arm, your face heating only a little.

“Actually more so Jungkook would be devastated not see you,” he mumbled, smirking a bit.

“Oh please. Let’s go.”

“Yah! What took you two so long?” Taehyung shouted at you and Jimin as you entered the theater.

“I told you I wanted to finish at least some of my chores before we did this. It’s not like we’re late, the movie doesn’t start for another 20 minutes.” You replied, ignoring Tae’s pout and waving a bit at Jungkook. He only smiled a little and rolled his eyes in return, trying to relay that Taehyung was the only one overreacting to your arrival.

“Ah, I miss when you were quieter,” he sighed, earning a scolding ‘yah’ from Jimin and a couple of hits from Jungkook. You only snorted, working on removing your jacket.

“So do I, you payed less attention to me back then. It was more peaceful.”

Jimin burst into laughter, Jungkook sniggering behind his hand as Taehyung pouted at you. Neither of you meant it, though, smiles cracking both your faces after a moment.

“Well let’s get our tickets. We can play some games while we wait,” Jimin finally said.

You all crowded up at the ticket booth, Jimin and Jungkook standing on either side of you.

“I can pay for your ticket, (Y/N).” Jimin said, pulling out his card.

“It’s okay, I can pay for it. I am a big girl after all.”

Taehyung moved to one side, Jungkook stepping up to buy his ticket. Jimin Pouted at you as you two took a step forward.

“Why are you like this? Let me buy your ticket, it’ll be like a date.”

“It’s not a date, though. I really don’t need you to buy me a ticket.”

Before Jimin could whine at you further, Jungkook turned around and held a ticket out to you. You blinked at it for a moment before frowning at up at the maknae.

“Why did you buy me a ticket? I can pay for my own.”

Jungkook shrugged, holding the ticket out further.

“I figured if someone else bought it for you, Jimin-hyung couldn’t pester you about it.”

Your frown turned to a pout, but you accepted the ticket regardless.

“Thank you.”

“Punk,” Jimin mumbled, but didn’t look too put out.

You moved to stand with the other two, Taehyung slinging an arm around you and grinning devilishly.

“So does that mean you and Jungkook are on the date then?”

Your face heated as you gently pushed him off you.

“Better than being on a date with you.”

He let out a frustrated ‘ah’ and pushed your head gently, scolding you in his soft way. You never looked at Jungkook to see his cheeks dusted a soft pink. Jimin led you all to the games area, each of you slipping in a few bills to get coins to play the machines. Jungkook and Taehyung bee-lined for a racing game, while you and Jimin tried your hand at a fighter game. You were never one for the button mashing fighter genre, so Jimin won three times before you gave up. He joined Taehyung on the racing game offer that, taking Jungkook’s place so you could drag the maknae over to one of the shooting games. You would do much better at that than a fighting game.

Unfortunately you were up against Jungkook and while the game was co-op, you both immediately made it competitive by trying to score the highest. You were actually beating him too, though both of you had resorted to cheating- messing with each other’s aim, pushing the other’s gun around, standing in the way. By the end of it you were both shouting at each other, Jungkook laughing so hard he almost couldn’t aim at the screen as he trapped both your arms in one of his and was standing so that your gun pointed off screen.

“Yah, yah! This is against the rules!” You shouted, trying to make sense through your own laughter as you struggled to break free. In the end he scored the highest.

Eventually you moved to buying snacks (able to buy your own without Jungkook or Jimin paying for you) and we’re sat between the two for the movie. Taehyung spent the previews chucking popcorn over Jimin and onto you and Jungkook, the lot of you laughing as you and Jungkook retaliated. You all settled down once the movie started, though, not wanting to be kicked out for being rowdy.

“So when are you going to ask her?”

“Huh?”

Taehyung gave the maknae a flat look.

“When are you going to ask her out, I mean?”

Jungkook finally tore his eyes away from you and Jimin, looking to Taehyung with a questioning look.

“Who?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, sighing heavily and turning his gaze back to you and Jimin. He and Jungkook stayed leaning against Jimin’s car as the older member walked you to your door.

“Stop playing dumb, you know what I’m talking about.”

Heat flared to Jungkook’s cheeks as he tried to look oblivious.

“Whatever you think you know, you’re wrong. I don’t like her.”

“You can’t really say anything to make any of us think otherwise. It’s so obvious sometimes I’m amazed she hasn’t caught on, yet.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, looking back in the same direction Taehyung was.

“Us?”

“Everyone knows, Jungkook. You can’t hide it anymore and you certainly can’t deny it.”

But he would. For now he would deny it until his grave.

“You’re wrong.”

“It’s okay to like her. Jimin has been trying to get you two together since he introduced her to us. She’s a good girl and despite her meekness she’s strong. She’s kind and funny, she likes the same things you do.”

“I don’t like her, hyung,” he said resolutely- finally.

Taehyung sighed, shaking his head a bit and standing. He turned to the passenger door, planning to take the seat you’d been sitting in now that you were home. He climbed in and got comfortable, pausing to say one las thing before he closed the door.

“You can run all you like, Jungkook, but if you don’t do something about this… someone else is going to take her heart.”

With that he slammed the door shut and Jungkook was left to fester in his own thoughts.

You blinked as you stared at your phone, the text you’d leaned over to read not from Jimin. You’d gotten texts from the other members, but rarely. Getting one from Jungkook was even more so, yet there his name was on your screen. You paused the game you’d been playing, picking your phone up and opening the lock-screen.

Hey, are you busy Saturday?

It took you nearly ten minutes to respond, lost in your shock for a solid five of them and unsure how to respond.

I have work for a few hours in the morning, why? Is something wrong?

No, well... I have these tickets to an aquarium that I was supposed to send to my parents as an anniversary gift ages ago. I wanted to surprise them, but found out they were going away for it before I could send them. They’ve been collecting dust in my room for almost a month now and I figured I better use them. I asked my hyungs, but no one wants to go with me, so…

Wow! I’ve never been to an aquarium before! I’d love to go if you’re inviting me!

Jungkook couldn’t hold back the confident smirk as he read your message, taking a moment to look around and make sure no one else was near.

You’ve never been to an aquarium before, seriously? You’re in for a treat then. I’ll pick you up around three?

Yeah! Sounds great, I’ll see you then!

Your face was hotter than a mug of fresh coffee, your brain desperately trying to tell your shouting heart that it wasn’t a date. It was just Jungkook needing to use up a ticket he paid for. Two friends doing something to pass the time. There was nothing even remotely romantic about it. It wasn’t a date. You’d have to keep this from the others too. While they likely know already, you knew that if you mentioned it around Jimin or Taehyung they would tease you about it being a date until you strangled one of them to death.

“Coming, coming!”

You nearly tripped on your way to the door, throwing it open in a flurry of hair and clothes. Jungkook stares wide eyed as you straightened, trying to tame your appearance a little. You smiled sheepishly as you stepped to one side and motioned him in.

“Hey, sorry.”

“Hey, was three too early?” He asked, stepping in as he took in your wild appearance.

“No! Sorry, my cat threw up on me so I changed into sweats real quick to clean it up and start washing the clothes he ruined. I just need to change really quick, I’m really sorry. I’ll be quick!”

You clapped your hands together in apology as you bowed a few times, not waiting for a reply from him before you turned tail and scurried back to your room to change. He watched you in shock, slowly turning to close the door you’d left open before stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets and stepping quietly further into your home. He’d never been inside it before, so he couldn’t help his curiosity as he leaned first into your kitchen and then your living room across the hall to check the place out. It was simply decorated with hardly anything on the walls and only a few knick-knacks and pictures spotted here and there. It was like you barely lived there.

“Hey.”

He jumped at your voice, not having realized that you had quietly returned and was now standing in front of him.

“Sorry…” He mumbled shyly

You grinned, your smile blinding him momentarily as you shook your head.

“It’s okay, this is your first time inside, right? What do you think?”

“It’s…”

“Be honest,” You chuckled out when he hesitated to answer.

“It’s scarcely decorated.”

“Ah, yeah. Makes it easier for me to keep it clean. I get pretty lazy sometimes, so…”

You turned back to him, grinning again. He cleared his throat, looking away to try and hide the pink dusting his cheeks.

“So you’re ready to go then?”

You nodded, letting out a ‘yeah’ as you grabbed a small wallet with a cute frog on it and your jacket. You opened the door for him, following him out and locking the door behind you before you followed him to his car. The ride there was quiet, but you two had grown close enough that the quiet between you now was a little more comfortable. It was easy to get into the aquarium at such a weird time of the day, coming in just after the rush of other people that started in the middle of the day. You were practically bouncing around Jungkook, you were so excited. You’d never gotten the chance to go to a real aquarium, so you were stoked to get inside and see everything.

“I’ve never seen you so lively before, it’s a little weird,” Jungkook chuckled out, smirking as he watched you shift around. It was like you were incapable of standing still.

“Sorry,” you replied, grinning as you settled down a little.

“I never got the chance to go to an actual aquarium only the small ones at zoos. I’ve been dying to go to a big, real one for years now. The kind where a tank takes up a whole wall and they have big fish or sharks in them. Or the tunnel tanks where the whole thing is glass and everywhere you look are fish. How cool would that be?”

He was at a loss for words, unable to get the look of wonder on your face out of his head. He only smiled back at you and led you to the entrance where they were accepting the tickets. Once you were in there was no stopping you, Jungkook having to follow you from one exhibit to another and then back again like you were trying to take in everything at once. Most of the fish in the tanks were hiding or just inactive, but when you caught sight of one they were always beautiful and exotic. Jungkook was pretty pleased with himself for the result he was getting. While you were occupied with the exhibits, he got to sit back and watch you intently without you even noticing. When you’d see a colorful fish you’d get close to the glass and stare with a small smile on your face, eventually muttering out a ‘pretty.’ When you’d see something bigger or a little bit more scary you’d take a step back and Jungkook could always just catch your reflection in the glass, your eyes focused and full of wonder. You were fascinated by eels and jellyfish, and Jungkook had to practically tear you away from the dolphin and stingray exhibits. He was enjoying himself just as much as you were, though most of his attention was on you.

Eventually you reached the end, a restaurant set up on one side with a few giant windows that looked into big tanks and a gift shop on the other. It took you most of the afternoon and evening to walk through the whole place so your stomach was rumbling by the time you spotted the restaurant.

“Are you hungry? We can have dinner before I take you home.”

You didn’t want to keep him longer than he had time for, but as he stared at you he didn’t look like he was in much of a rush. In fact you could probably chance it to say that he looked like he wanted to go. You nodded sheepishly, smiling a bit as you placed a hand over your stomach.

“If you don’t mind, I’m starving.”

“Me too,” he replied, leading the way into the restaurant.

“Welcome! Did you enjoy the aquarium?” The hostess standing at the entrance asked, seemingly glad to finally have someone stop in. The place was practically deserted. Did that mean the food or something was bad?

“Pretty empty in here,” Jungkook commented, looking around.

“Ah, yes, the dinner rush just ended not too long ago. You’re our first late night couple.”

The word couple had heat spreading to your cheeks, though you didn’t bother looking in Jungkook’s direction, instead looking to one of the large tank windows.

“Can we get a table next to one of the tanks?” You asked.

“Of course! This way please.”

You both followed her further in, sitting at a table for four next to one of the largest windows in the restaurant. Just as you sat down a shark swam by.

“Sharks! We didn’t see them at all when we went through the aquarium!” You nearly shouted, Jungkook smirking as the hostess smiled.

“Ah yes, they usually keep the sharks separated from other fish so they don’t disturb them. The only time they really let them out in the other tanks is when it’s a busy day. They make sure to feed them really well before hand too. If they’re not hungry they don’t try to eat any of the other fish in the tanks. Usually they’re kept here until then.”

You grinned, bouncing in your seat a bit and leaning closer to the window. You couldn’t see much other than the surface of the water and were a little sad to see their tank so bare. They could at least give them some fake coral so it feels like home. Regardless you were happy you got to see them before it was all over. Jungkook chuckled at you as the hostess left you two alone, leaning closer to the glass as well and looking around.

“You seem to really like sharks.”

“Not particularly more than any other fish species, but I was a little bummed that it was the only kind we hadn’t seen. They’re graceful hunters, they deserve a bit more love.”

Before he could reply a waitress interrupted you too, blushing hard whenever she spoke to Jungkook. You had to hide you face behind your menu, nearly snorting when she would stumble over her words, trying to flirt with him. You two ordered drinks and she scurried off, giving you time to decide on a meal.

“Boy she likes you,” you stared, grinning a bit mischievously over your menu at him.

“What? Who?”

“The waitress, duh. She was practically a melting puddle while she was flirting with you.”

“Flirting? She was flirting with me?” He asked, turning in his seat as if to see if he could catch a glimpse of her.

“You couldn’t tell?” You chuckled, letting your menu fall a bit.

“No… Why are you jealous?” He sneered back, smirking and chuckling when you rolled your eyes.

“No, I actually commend her on her bravery. She looked so scared that I thought she might puke on you.”

“You were like that once.” He said, laughing with you.

“Only because you all sacred me. You guys are too good looking to be hanging around an ordinary person like me. Plus you were always glaring at me, I thought you wanted to knock me out for whatever reason.” You smiled softly as you spoke, Jungkook looking off to one side as he smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was… I…” He still didn’t know what his problem was back then. He didn’t know what to say- how to explain himself. You only chuckled, shaking your head. The softness in your eyes startled him, bringing a blush to his cheeks.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything. People adjust and warm up to others in different ways. Your way is to be guarded and skeptical. Mine is to be… shy and terrified.”

He didn’t know how to respond after that, using his menu as a distraction so he didn’t have to look at you. Your words were true, but when you’d said them they seemed… sad somehow. Like you were filled with regret. He peeked back up at you, glad that you were also staring down at your menu. It gave him another chance to watch you for a moment. That was one of the things he grew to like about you. When it came to being close to someone, you were nearly oblivious about the attention they gave you. While you were still new and shy you were constantly on high alert, able to sense someone looking at you after only a second, but once you got comfortable you were almost always lost in something else. He constantly got long moments where he was able to just watch you because you would be so preoccupied with something else around you. Most girls would be blushing, giggling messes if a good looking guy their age were to stare at them. You on the other hand- even when you caught him you were oblivious, only smiling and saying something like ‘what’s up.’ It was like you had no idea the attention you could pull in a room.

“You’re not ordinary,” he finally said from behind his menu, practically mumbling it. The tips of his ears were so hot he was sure you could tell from where you were.

“Huh?”

He didn’t dare peek up at you, continuing to shift his eyes around the menu without really reading anything.

“Before you said that people as good looking as my hyungs and I shouldn’t hang out with someone ordinary like you. You’re not ordinary.”

Heat spread across your cheeks and down to your neck, your eyes wide as you blinked at him. You were saved before you had to respond, though, the waitress returning and finally taking your orders. Again she tried to flirt with Jungkook, her face so red you thought she was going to pass out. You felt a little pang in your gut as you watched her, something along the lines of panic and fear turning your gaze to Jungkook, gauging his reaction. He seemed as uninterested and oblivious as before, not even looking at her as he finally handed her the menu. You smiled stiffly as you handed her yours and she scurried off to put your orders in.

“It seems kind of rude if she was flirting with me, don’t you think?”

Your head tilted to one side as you blinked curiously at him. He had to act distracted by a shark swimming by just to hide his blush.

“For all she knows we could be on a date. It’s a little rude to flirt with a guy when his date or girlfriend is sitting right in front of him.”

He regretted even opening his mouth. The longer he spoke the hotter he felt, his blush spreading down his neck and chest. You weren’t much better off, your eyes were wide as you mimicked him in looking at the tank’s window. You both watched two more sharks swim by before you cleared your throat and looked down at your hands, folded so tightly on the table your knuckles were white.

“Maybe we just give off that ‘friends only’ vibe.”

Something changed then. A look suddenly settled over Jungkook’s face, one you couldn’t describe. It was almost somber or angry. You couldn’t place why, had you said something to upset him? He was silent for a long while after that and it wasn’t until you were both done with your meal that you finally got the courage to talk to him again.

“Thank you for today, Jungkook-ah. I really had fun and I got to do something I’ve wanted to for a while now. You made that possible.”

Your smile brought heat to his cheeks and he immediately forgot why he’d been so upset. He stuttered out a ‘yeah’ in way of ‘you’re welcome’ before moving ahead to open the car door for you. You smiled a bit more at him as you climbed in, Jungkook hesitating a moment while he watched you buckle your seatbelt. In fact he watched you for so long that when you finally turned to look at him you had to say his name just to pull him back to reality.

“Jungkook?”

He blinked a few times, shaking his head and clearing his throat as he finally closed the passenger’s side door and trotted over to his side. The drive back was much more relaxed, neither of you speaking much though when you did it was in calm, quiet tones. He walked you back to your door and although it was an awkward goodbye it was… sweet. He’d stood there with his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet and unable to get his voice to work. You did much of the same until you finally thanked him again and said good night. He replied shyly before finally nodding and walking off back to his car.

So I was thinking we could hang out at your place tonight, just you and me?

Hello?

Yaaaah!! Are you ignoring me?!

Seriously, you better be okay because I’m starting to worry a bit here!

Yaaaaahhhh!!! Where are you?! Pls answer me!

You rolled your eyes at the texts Jimin had sent you, not even able to set your things down before your phone was ringing. Low and behold, it was Jimin.

“Hello?” You answered, already sounding exasperated.

“What the hell?! Where have you been?! I was freaking out over here!”

You winced a bit.

“I was fine! I was with Jungkook.”

Silence fell over the other side of the line until Jimin finally spoke again.

“What?”

“I was with Jungkook, he didn’t tell you?”

“Jungkook had practice tonight, he told us he wouldn’t be home until later in the evening.

“What? No, Jungkook and I went to the aquarium since none of you guys would go with him.”

“What? What are you even talking about?”

You rolled your eyes, sighing a bit.

“Jungkook had tickets to an aquarium that he was going to give to his parents for their anniversary, but never got a chance to give it to them. He said all of you refused to go with him, so he asked me and I said yes.”

You really didn’t understand what was so confusing about that.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Jungkook’s parents’ anniversary was six months ago and he give them tickets to go abroad.”

You blinked a couple of times, freezing in your hall.

“What?”

“Yeah, I remember because I went up with him so he could give them the tickets personally and spend a few days with them.”

“I don’t understand…” You replied meekly into the phone and frowning. Had he lied to you? Why? You heard a door in the other end open and close, Jungkook’s voice ringing out as he greeted Jimin.

“Jungkook-ssi, how was practice?”

Jimin’s voice had changed. It was further away now and had a sudden lilt in it that made you uncomfortable.

“Oh it was… fine.”

“Ah, that’s good. Hey, I’ve been trying to reach (Y/N) all day and she isn’t answering. Have you heard from her at all?”

“N-no. Why would I hear from her?”

Your frown grew. He really was lying.

“Just wondering is all.”

You only heard shuffling after that before another door closed and Jimin chuckled into the phone.

“I don’t understand, oppa. We just got back from the aquarium, we had dinner and everything. Why is he lying?”

You were beginning to wonder if you were crazy. Had you blacked out and just imagined all that? What reason did he have to lie?

“Relax, (Y/N)-ssi. He doesn’t want us to know because we would tease him. We’ve been trying to get him to go on a date with you for ages now.”

Now you were really confused, your eyes growing wide and heat blushing up into your face.

“Wh-what? A date? That wasn’t a date, we-“

“Those tickets were never intended for his parents. He got them specifically for you, he never said a word to any of us about them. He was taking you on a date.”

Your head started shaking from side to side, not believing what Jimin was saying.

“No…”

“Why is it so hard to believe? And what’s so bad about it? You went on a date with Jungkook. You like him, he likes you, it’s fit-“

You immediately hung up, unable to hear Jimin finish that sentence. You were breathing a little erratically, panic setting in for whatever reason. Why? Even if it had been a date, why were you so terrified of that idea?

Because Jimin could be wrong…

He could not like you and if you got your hopes up… You didn’t want to think about that. Your phone suddenly buzzed in your hand and you nearly screamed, your hands shaking a little as you saw the name on the screen and answered.

“(Y/N)?”

“Jungkook…”

“Listen, Jimin’s been trying to contact you. When you talk to him, don’t tell him you were with me, okay? He planned on spending the day with you and if he knows I stole you away he’ll get all upset and whine-“

“Why don’t you want him to know?”

You couldn’t stop your voice from shaking, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Huh? Oh because… Well if he finds out-“

“Why doesn’t he know we went to the aquarium?”

“Because I-“

“Did you even tell any of them?”

“I-… No, I-“

“Why?”

“Would you let me-“

“Was this a date, Jungkook?”

Silence. No breathing, no Jungkook trying to get a sentence out, just silence.

“I already talked to Jimin…”

He cursed on the other end, not sure what to say to back track.

“He said you already gave your parents their anniversary gift six months ago. You bought those tickets to take me out, didn’t you?”

Again silence and then a dead line. He didn’t reply, just hung up. Just as you had done to Jimin. You didn’t get time to dwell on it, your phone buzzing again as Jimin called you. For a moment you thought about not answering as the phone vibrated in your hand, but you did.

“I can’t believe you hung up on me. Are you freaking out that bad-“

A door suddenly slammed open, Jungkook’s voice cutting him off.

“What the hell, hyung?! What did you say to her?! You had no-… Are you talking to her again?”

“Calm down, Jungkook-“

“Give me the phone!”

There was a struggle on the other end and you were frozen. You should’ve called out- shouted someone’s name into the phone to try and distract them. They were wrestling and then you heard a snap, someone’s fist connecting with flesh and bone as someone else flew back. One of them had hit the other. What were you doing?!

They’re hurting each other call out to them!

Just as you’d opened your mouth to shout into the phone the line went dead.

“Jimin-oppa?! Jimin!”

What had you done? This was your fault. Stuffing your phone into your pocket, you rushed to grab your keys and head out the door. It took you a while, but running all the way to the door cut your time nearly in half. You were breathing heavily and your lungs burned as you stood at their door, incessantly banging on it. You could hear shouting inside and it only fueled your anxiety and as you started shouting for someone to open the door. Finally Hoseok opened it, his face grim.

“(Y/N)-ssi? What’re you doing here?”

“Where are they?” Was all you said as you pushed past him and headed further in. It was easy to figure out the answer to your question, most of the members crowded around Namjoon and Taehyung’s room. It must’ve been the room Jimin had retreated to right before you’d hung up on him. Taehyung and Yoongi stood against the opposite wall, Taehyung sticking close to his hyung. Namjoon stood just outside the door, Jin just in front of him and both of them ready to hold back Jungkook if he went at Jimin again. By the looks of it they’d had to do it once already. There was shouting, mostly coming from Jungkook, Jin and Namjoon, the maknae shouting at Jimin while his hyungs tried to calm him down.

“Jimin! Hey! Is he okay?!”

Your shouting silenced all of them, Jungkook looking almost afraid as he turned to spot you.

“(Y/N)-ssi what are you doing here?” Namjoon mimicked Hoseok, the worry in his tone endearing.

“Is Jimin okay?”

“I’m fine,” you heard him call from inside the room. You pushed past the three in the door, sighing in relief as you saw him standing there, a bruise already forming on his jaw.

“You didn’t need to come all the way here-“

“Yeah well I couldn’t just sit on my couch at home while you two started throwing punches!”

You whirled on Jungkook, your glare almost sad.

“What the hell is even going on here?” Namjoon questioned.

“Jungkook got upset because I revealed his secret date with (Y/N) to her. She apparently wasn’t supposed to know.”

“Shut up!”

“Woah, you actually took her out? Is that where you’ve been all day?”

“He lied to us and her so no one would know-“

“I said shut up!”

Jungkook lunged for Jimin again, Jin and Namjoon instantly latching on to him and pulling him back. Jimin stumbled back a bit just able to push you out of the way and dodge another swing sent at his face before he fell back.

“What is wrong with you?!” You shouted, close to tears now and moving to stand protectively in front of Jimin.

“He didn’t want you to know it was a date-“

“It wasn’t a date!”

“You’re acting like this because of a date?!”

“It wasn’t a date! You shouldn’t even be here!”

“I wouldn’t have needed to be if you hadn’t started swinging at my friend! If it was a date-“

“I told you it wasn’t a date! I would never date you!”

And then it all stopped. The shouting, the tension, the struggling- everything just stopped. Jungkook’s face was practically red he’d been so angry and shouting so much, but now he just looked shocked. Like he hadn’t meant to go that far, but it was too late now. He could see that in your eyes. You wanted to hide your pain- to cool your expression and empty your stinging eyes of any emotion. But you didn’t know how. You didn’t want to hurt because of those words, didn’t want to cry, least of all in front of him. So your lowered your head, trying to hide your face as best you could. You turned from him, from all of them, and lowered yourself to reach out for Jimin who still sat on the ground.

“Come on, oppa. We should get ice on your jaw.”

Your voice didn’t shake and you were thankful for that, but Jimin’s look of concern brought the stinging tears to your eyes that much easier. Someone else’s care and concern for you was always a hard thing for you to grasp and so it always made you cry. You reached out, your hands light as you helped him stand and held his hand to lead him back through the crowd. He stopped just before he let you pull him all the way out, his hand slipping from yours so you could distance yourself from Jungkook though you did stop out in the hall. You didn’t look at anyone and didn’t bother looking back at Jimin, but you heard what he’d said.

“Grow up, Jungkook,” and then he followed you out and led you to the door. You intended to just take him to the kitchen and put some ice on his jaw, but you didn’t bother fighting him when he shrugged in his jacket and opened the door for you. None of the others tried to stop you two either. You let him drive you home, brought him inside to tend to his fresh bruise and then housed him for five days after that. He went back twice while he was with you, once to grab some things he would need the day after the fight and again two days later to talk to his hyungs.

“They want me to come back,” he muttered the last night over his food.

“Is that why they wanted to talk to you?”

He nodded, remaining silent- solemn.

“You should go.”

He looked up, a little surprised.

“You want me to leave?”

“I want you to go home, oppa. You should make up with Jungkook.”

Jimin looked even more shocked, frozen for a moment before he started shaking his head and going back to his food with a grumpy expression.

“No, no way. He’s the one that should be apologizing.”

“Oppa…”

“After what he did to you… He’s the one that needs to do the making up.”

“What happened between Jungkook and I…”

You didn’t know how to word it, what exactly to say.

“It was nothing.”

“(Y/N)-ssi-“

“Part of it is your fault. You shouldn’t have instigated and then patronized him like that. What he said to me doesn’t mean anything. He and I were just friends and not even very good ones at that. But you two are more than just friends.”

“You’re my friend too, you know.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling at him solemnly.

“Jungkook has been your friend a hell of a lot longer than I have, oppa. He’s your brother.”

He knew you were right, you could see it. He sighed and looked back down to his food, his expression going from angry to sad and then slightly lost. He missed Jungkook, missed his other members. He missed his home. Again you smiled, a little sadder this time as you reached across the table and gripped his hand comfortingly.

“Go back, oppa. Make up with Jungkook and patch things over with the others. Go home.”

He was silent for a long moment, staring off to one side before looking back to you.

“What about you?”

You shrugged, your heart pulling apart a bit. Things would be a lot harder with Jimin now and you would be surprised if you ever got to see the others again. The reality of that hurt.

“I’ll be here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m still your friend.”

Again he sighed and nodded, his hand turning to squeeze yours. He left that night to speak to his hyungs and make up with Jungkook, returning home for good the day after. He’d only been there for the good part of a week, but when he left your home suddenly felt empty and lonely. It took him a long time to make up with Jungkook- nearly two weeks- the maknae refusing to apologize to you preventing Jimin from really forgiving him. You’d spoken to only one of the older members once after that, Hoseok telling you that things in the house were tense since Jimin refused to really make up with Jungkook until he came to see you. You then spoke to Jimin again after that, finally convincing him that there was no reason for Jungkook to come apologize to you now and that he should forgive him. After two weeks things finally seemed to return to normal.

For the boys at least.

You didn’t see Jimin for three weeks after he returned home and when you did it was rare. He only ever met you out or came to your house, you were no long welcome at the dorm it seemed. You got texts once in a blue moon from Jin, Taehyung or Hoseok, but that was even more rare than when you saw Jimin. You’d nearly been completely cut off from them and your life was lonelier for it. You’d spent so long seeing them nearly every day for a year and you’d taken it for granted. Now it was just you and sometimes Jimin and you were more often than not alone. And you had grown bitter for it.

“The others miss you, especially Taehyung.”

“Do they,” you asked bitterly, your tone more biting than you’d intended it to be. Jimin looked shocked at your response and you were glad you had food in front of you to distract your gaze.

“Of course they do, (Y/N). I know it’s been a while-“

“It’s been two months, oppa. Two months since I was nearly cut off entirely from that entire part of my life. They tried at first sure, but I haven’t heard from any of the other members in over a month and I barely see you.”

You knew how selfish you sounded, your mouth snapping shut to prevent you from going further, but not bothering to apologize for the childish things you’d already said. Jimin sighed moving from the chair he was in to sit next to you on the couch.

“I know it’s hard and I hate that I haven’t been able to see you as much. I’ve been trying to get Jungkook to apologize to you ever since I went back, but…”

“I don’t need Jungkook to apologize to me. You guys were the only friends I had and now… I know that the group is important. You guys are brothers you should choose each other over me, but it still hurts. It still feels like I don’t deserve to be cut out completely like this.”

“Hey, we’re not cutting you out completely. Even if those guys aren’t bothering, I’m still here.”

“Are you?” You questioned, finally looking up at him so that he was finally hit with all the pain and anxiety you were actually feeling.

“For how long? How long will it be until you give up to? How long until you decide that it’s not worth the hassle because I can no longer hang out with the group?”

“I would never do that, (Y/N) and I know you know better than that.”

He was frowning at you now, hurting like you were now that he was seeing your pain.

“I shouldn’t be the one being punished.” You finally said, tears stinging at your eyes. That’s exactly what it felt like too, punishment.

The rest of your evening with Jimin was somber and it ended shortly. You’d cursed yourself the instant he walked out the door, knowing it was your own fault for pushing him away. You cried yourself to sleep that night and every night after when he didn’t even bother to text you. You hadn’t felt this alone since you first moved here and the longer you stayed, alone and unwanted, the harder it was for you to find a reason to do so.

Would you really just let yourself be run out of town like that, though?

Three weeks passed with only a few words here and there from Jimin and you’d finally had enough. It took you a long moment to steel your nerves, taking one last deep breath before reaching up and pounding on the door harder than you really needed to. You waited a moment before pounding again, hoping the people inside could hear your impatience and urgency. Seokjin answered the door this time, his look of shock not surprising you.

“(Y/N)-ssi, what’re you doing here?”

You shoved passed him, knowing that he would never let you in if you waited politely like any normal human being.

“Hey, (Y/N)-“

You didn’t stop, looking around in the living room and kitchen before making your way to his room. You prayed he was in there, otherwise you’d really look like a fool. Jin called your name again, but you ignored him, practically kicking the door in as you opened it. He jumped as the door was thrown open and you were strangely pleased by this reaction. Thankfully he was alone, Jimin and Hoseok seemingly somewhere else. Jin tried following you in as he tried to actually talk to you, but you turned quickly and shoved him out, slamming the door shut and locking it.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jungkook questioned, his expression a mix of almost fear and what he tried to pass off as anger.

“Fixing my life,” you said evenly, glad your voice wasn’t shaking the same way your body was.

“What?”

He gave you an incredulous look, straightening from what he’d been doing and moving towards the door. You blocked him, shoving you hand into his chest to push him back a bit.

“Are you nuts?”

“I have nothing now because of this stupid fight, Jungkook. What friends I did have since moving here you took because you hate me for whatever reason. You don’t need to apologize to me, I don’t want you to, but I need you to get the fuck over this and be okay with me again.”

You’d started off strong, but the longer you spoke the more desperate you sounded.

“You don’t have to like me, let it go back to the way it was in the beginning if that’s what it takes, but give me the good things I had here back. Give me my friends back, Jungkook. Please.”

Your eyes stung with tears and you knew he could see them, his look of irritation turning to one of shock and slight worry.

“What do you mean?” He finally let out, his voice small. Almost like he was scared.

“None of your hyungs will talk to me except Jimin and I hear from him half as much as I did before, if that even. I told him to come back here and make up with you because… Because he should, but I never thought it would cut out a whole part of my life here.”

The tears were abundant now, pooling at your lids and blurring your vision, but not yet falling over the edge. You stepped back from him, looking away as you tried to calm yourself down.

“You don’t have any other friends?”

You almost scoffed, that’s what he’s gathered in all that?

“No! Why do you think I spent so much time with Jimin-oppa? I didn’t have anyone when I moved here. He found me sitting alone in a restaurant, that’s how we became friends.”

It was silent for a long few moments after that, your head falling as you sniffled and wiped at your eyes. What a stupid situation and it had been all your fault. If you had just kept your mouth shut about the date thing none of this would’ve happened. You shook your head a bit, your voice low and even when you spoke again.

“You don’t need to apologize, but I’m not letting you leave this room until you tell me that everything is fine and things will go back to normal.”

He looked away from you, nervous and unsure, but still childishly set in his anger. Again the room fell silent, neither one of you moving. You refused to let him think he could get by you and he seemed just as stubborn in physically backing down. You knew he could shove you out of the way without much effort, but you doubted he was someone that would go that far. Finally after ten minutes he took another few steps back, his voice just as low and even as yours when he spoke.

“I didn’t know it would turn out like this. I didn’t think…”

You shook your head a bit, understanding, but unable to feel sympathy.

“Neither did I. I never should have said anything about the date.”

You weren’t looking at him, but you could practically feel him bristle. You expected him to say something, to refute what you’d said, but he just remained silent.

“I don’t know why I made such a big deal about it. It was a good date, you should’ve just told me.”

“Why? So you could throw it in my face like all my hyungs? Ever since you came around Jimin-hyung has been eying me like he knew something I didn’t. Like he expected us to be together. I didn’t even like you at first!”

His words hurt, but you had known at the beginning.

“I know, it was pretty plain to see.”

His anger immediately receded and he suddenly looked solemn.

“I’m sorry…”

You sighed, shaking your head and finally moving to sit on Jimin’s bed.

“Why did you hate me?”

He shrugged, moving closer, but not sitting down.

“I don’t know, I… You came out of nowhere, no explanation, no reasons. You didn’t speak and hyung never said anything about you. You just… invaded our world and none of us knew anything about you or why.”

That hurt.

“I wasn’t trying to invade. Jimin-oppa was the first and only friend I’ve made here. He found me sitting alone at a restaurant being stood up by someone I thought would be my friend. She never showed and I was practically in tears when I stood up to leave… And then there he was, asking me why I was crying and if he could sit and eat with me. In the two years I’ve been here Jimin has been the only person to really care anything about me. I didn’t speak at first because you guys terrified me.”

“I know, I… I’m sorry about that now. I didn’t want to hate you, I was just…”

“I get it,” you sighed out. It was quiet for a long moment after that, Jungkook finally sitting down next to you.

“I’m sorry about what I said before. When hyung and I were fighting.”

You shook your head again.

“I shouldn’t have attacked you about it being a date. Even if it had been I enjoyed it. I think I was just panicking because you were lying.”

“You enjoyed it?” His voice sounded so small then, revealing to you how much of a boy he still actually was. His cheeks were pink and he wasn’t looking at you. He was shy- nervous. He was scared.

“Of course I did! I mean for a while there we were getting along pretty well and you took me somewhere I’ve never been before. The best first date I’ve ever had. I mean if it had actually been a date.”

He was silent for a time, not looking at you and making you think he was never going to speak. So you did.

“I like you, Jungkook…”

He looked up, surprised. Like he wasn’t sure he’d heard you right. You looked away from him, staring at the wall in front of you so you wouldn’t have to look at him while you finally spilled your heart out.

“I was scared of you at first, but then… When you actually started to accept me you were… sweet. You did small things for me, you were kind to me. You’re passionate and you care a lot about the people close to you. You keep pushing yourself to be better all while still being goofy and dorky and constantly trying to make your hyungs laugh and be happy.”

You paused, finally turning to look him in the eye, all the courage you had ever possessed spilling out in that moment.

“I like you Jungkook… I think I always have.”

You’d never seen his face so red before, his blush reaching all the way up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He was staring right back at you though and while his silence unsettled you, having him looking back into your eyes was a small comfort.

“I don’t expect you to like me back, but I do hope that you’ll let things go back to normal. I miss everyone here. I miss my friends.”

Still he didn’t say anything. It was like he was frozen in time, doomed to look that shocked and nervous forever. You sighed and stood, no longer planning to hold him captive there. What would be the point of that anyway? You gave him one last look, smiling forlornly at him.

“Good bye, Jungkook.” It was a strange sort of good bye, almost as if you were saying it for the last time. He must’ve felt that way too because as soon as you turned to walk away he reached out for you, his fingers locking around your wrist in a solid, but soft grip.

“I like you too.”

It was your turn to be shocked, your eyes wide as you whipped your head around to look at him in shock.

“Huh?”

He stood, steeling his nerves as he swallowed thickly and finally looked you in the eye.

“I like you too. The aquarium was a date. I… I think I’ve liked you for a while now, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t figure that out.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared.”

“And I wasn’t?”

He did have a point.

“After how you were when we first met I thought there was no way you’d ever have feelings for me.”

You had him there.

“I didn’t know what I was feeling for you and with the way everyone was acting… I didn’t want to admit they were right and have them hound me about it for days. It was hard enough to finally admit it to myself.”

You faced him fully now, a softness coming over you as you stepped closer in hopes to soothe him.

“I’m sorry. I never considered that you were just as afraid as I was.”

He wasn’t looking at you again, his face growing redder the longer you stared at him.

“Thank you for the date. I hope we get to go again sometime.”

You stepped closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning and slipping from his grasp, his body too frozen from shock to go after you. You unlocked the door and slipped out before he could pull himself together, running into Jin and Namjoon as you tried to make it to the front door. Jin called your name, pulling the attention of Yoongi and Taehyung as Namjoon stood from the couch and made his way to you.

“What happened? What were you doing in there? Is Jungkook okay?”

Namjoon elbowed his hyung, frowning at him before he put his attention on you.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded, not bothering to smile. You didn’t think you had the energy.

“We’re both fine. We talked and now I’m leaving.”

“But- wait!”

You didn’t wait for them to ask any more questions, stepping past them and leaving before they could stop you.

“Yah, seriously, when am I going to get to hang out with you alone again?”

This felt a bit like deja-vu.

“If you wanted me all to yourself you shouldn’t have spent so long pushing us together.”

Jimin sighed heavily, falling back on your bed as you finished tidying up.

“Now are you going to join us on this date or will you leave so I can go?”

Again he sighed dramatically, sitting up before getting to his feet and letting out a whiny moan as he stomped out to your front door.

“I can’t believe you’re kicking your best friend out like this.”

“I literally just invited you on my date. You’re the one choosing to leave.”

“You know I can’t join you,” he grumped at you. You chuckled as a knock sounded on your door, Jimin opening it dramatically to reveal Jungkook.

“Hey hyung, complaining to (Y/N) that I’m stealing her away again?” The maknae asked as he stepped in, grinning mischievously at you. Again you chuckled, Jimin rolling his eyes.

“So what if I am? I wanted you two to date, not have you lock her away so I never see her again.”

“Hyung you see her almost every day.”

“No you see her almost every day. I just get to glance at her in passing as she visits you.”

“Man you’re dramatic. Come on, get out so we can leave. We have an aquarium to get to.” You finally said.

“Again? You two were just there last week.”

Jimin made his way out the door, Jungkook catching your arm and pecking you on the cheek as you went to follow him. You smiled shyly at him, your hand smoothing down his arm in greeting.

“It’s shark week, (Y/N) has been wanting to see this for a month now.”

You turned to lock you door as the two men waited, slipping your hand into Jungkook’s once you were done. The three of you stood there for an awkward moment, your conscience getting the better of you about leaving Jimin behind. He rolled his eyes and pulled you away from your boyfriend for a quick moment to place a kiss to your forehead.

“Go have fun you weird, crazy kids.”

Jungkook snorted, pulling you closer again his jealousy getting the better of him for a moment though he was smiling.

“Thanks, hyung. We’ll see you tonight.”

“Bye oppa!”

You waved to him, your smile bright and beaming as you turned to walk with Jungkook, practically bouncing next to him. He chuckled and squeezed your hand, pulling you a bit closer.

“Excited?”

“Yes. We’ll finally get to see the Sharks out in the big colorful tanks. Thank you for taking me.”

You grinned up at him, shocked into stillness when he placed a kiss on your lips.

“I’ll take you anywhere if you keep smiling at me like that.”

You couldn’t stop the snort from leaving you as you rolled your eyes, your cheeks heating both out of embarrassment and a warmth in your chest. Something akin to love.

“That was pretty cheesy.”

He frowned as you two finally reached his car, the maknae opening the door for you as he pouted.

“It was a really good line!”

“It was a lame line,” you chuckled, beginning to climb into the passenger seat. You paused for only a moment, resting your hand next to his on the car door and leaning up over it to return his kiss from a moment ago.

“I’d follow you anywhere you’d take me, though.”

With that you climbed into the car, buckling in as your boyfriend blinked away his daze and shook his head. You chuckled when he looked down at you judging you a bit.

“Now that was a cheesy line.”

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #jeon jungkook #bts request #bangtan sonyeondan request #bts scenario #bangtan sonyeondan scenario #bts one shot #bangtan sonyeondan one shot #jungkook request #jungkook scenario #jungkook one shot #bts fluff #jungkook fluff

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avanneman · 6 years ago

Text

John McCain, Paul Ryan, and the Myth of the Virtuous Republican

John McCain is one of those guys who, when he dies, people say “he was the last of a dying breed.”

No one will ever say that about Paul Ryan.

John McCain was a genuine war hero, a man who preferred to face hardship, torture, and even death rather than abandon his comrades. Paul Ryan has the suit, haircut, and soul of a TV personality. Yet both ended their careers kissing Donald Trump’s ass. Strange! More than strange!

It could justly be said—and often was—that John McCain approached politics with the mindset of the fighter pilot he used to be, an adrenaline junkie who wanted to see every issue as a struggle of good against evil, or at least us against them, which, in his mind, constituted the same thing. He was always wanting to go to war, wars in which, he was sure, the good guys always won and everyone’s problems were settled once and for all. My most vivid memory of McCain is video showing him striding around Baghdad in an armored vest, surrounded by heavily armed troops, with assault helicopters circling overhead, and proclaiming “Mission Accomplished”.

McCain made himself a national figure in the 2000 Republican primaries by wowing the national press corps with his war stories, young men and women stunned to be in the presence of a man who’d seen and endured things they, with their pampered backgrounds, could not even begin to imagine. This was a man!

And so he was, but as a senator he wasn’t so much. McCain was furious—well beyond furious—at George Bush because he believed, with some reason, that he’d been done out of the Republican nomination by some seriously subterranean backstabbing during the South Carolina primary, which may well be true, but one can also wonder how deliberate noncombatant Georgie W. beat a war hero in what is often regarded as the most militaristic state in the union.

McCain continued to cultivate the press in defeat, playing the beloved role of “maverick”, charging like a bull at a variety of issues, but never really succeeding at anything. For McCain, the passionate display of “passion” was its own purpose and end. His was not to reason why, and he never did.

Yet however harshly one wishes to criticize McCain, his ultimate obsequiousness to Trump remains baffling. Trump publicly ridiculed McCain’s heroism. Why wasn’t McCain at the Democratic Convention, standing beside Hillary Clinton, whose foreign policy views were almost identical to his own, and proclaiming her “America’s Choice”? What kept the proud maverick in such humiliating harness?

Well, as I say, I’m baffled. Perhaps he was intimidated by the Republican base, which had shifted so heavily against the “free trade, open borders” orthodoxy to which he had always subscribed.

But, in fact, there was always a bit of smoke and mirrors when it came to McCain’s “bipartisanship”. He had a knack for choosing issues, like campaign reform and immigration reform, that never, or rarely, managed to make it into law.1 On tax and spending issues, he almost always voted the straight party line, never giving an inch to either Clinton or Obama, though he did draw back a little from the “burn the house down” efforts of the newly elected Tea Party Republicans to drive the federal government into default—though probably more because he was worried about the possible impact on defense spending, which was the only fiscal issue he really cared about.2

But as for “leadership”, McCain was almost always absent. He voted in favor of removing President Clinton from office and, most infamously, brought Sarah Palin and her brand of “Americanism” into the national spotlight for the first time. And when the country really needed some bipartisan leadership, during the first onslaught of the Great Recession when Obama took office, McCain said, and did, nothing.

What’s remarkable about Paul Ryan is that, for a long time, he received press almost the equal of McCain’s, with far less substance. While McCain’s warrior ego was always front and center, deciphering Paulie’s slippery humility has always been a chore. He eagerly promoted—and the press eagerly bought—his Wisconsin Boy Scout demeanor. His incessantly repeated claim to be a “wonk” was, I think, deliberately designed to insulate him from the continuing bro-ha-ha3 over “social issues”—abortion, homosexuality, the “war against Christmas”, etc.—that so obsessed most ambitious Republicans. Paulie always looked east, towards Wall Street, but I’ve never been sure of his motivation. Was he gunning for the presidency? Then why stay in the House?

For many years, Ryan was sort of a hero—or perhaps fig-leaf—to many Republicans. In fact, to “recovering Republicans” like (former) conservative broadcaster Charles Sykes (author of How the Right Lost Its Mind), WashPost columnist and long-time Literature R Us whipping boy George F. Will, and former Republican strategist Rick Wilson (author of Everything Trump Touches Dies), who, unlike the first two, is deeply disappointed in the “new Paulie,” Ryan is (or was) a true hero. Nonpartisan centrists like Josh Barro are also deeply disappointed in the Ryan reinvention, which I will demonstrate—at length–is not new at all.

Sykes, in his book, gives us a taste of the true Paulie believer:

Whatever you might think of his policies, Paul Ryan is inarguably the most formidable intellectual leader the Republican Party has had for decades. For years, he was known for his dogged advocacy of budget and entitlement reform in opposition from his party’s establishment. His rise from conservative backbencher to Speaker could have been seen as one of the great success stories of the conservative movement. “I spent more time, I’d say, in the backbench than the leadership,” Ryan told me during a conversation on my last radio show. “The party really tried to isolate me a number of years ago and tried to explain to our members, ‘do not touch what Ryan is talking about, don’t deal with these fiscal issues, these entitlements, it’s political suicide.” And I just decided instead of trying to win the argument internally, I tried to win it externally, and that took hold,” he explained. “What happened, really, was the 2010 election, I think. The 2010 election brought all these, sort of Tea Party conservative Republicans into office.”

I suppose it’s possible to pack more self-serving nonsense into one paragraph than Paulie (and Sykes) just did there, but it isn’t easy. Ryan was always an eager self-promoter, though, as I say, it’s a bit of a mystery—again with the mystery! Republicans are mysterious!—exactly who Ryan was trying to sell himself to. Ryan has spent nearly all his adult life working in politics, either as a legislative aide or a congressman, and has claimed that all he wanted was to be chair of the House Budget Committee, but I don’t quite believe that. He has always appeared to me to have national aspirations, but for what? If you want to be president, you have to get out of the House, and, as far as I know, Ryan never showed interest in running either for governor or senator. If he wanted money, sure, a Budget Committee chair can retire after five or six years and make $2 or $3 million a year as a big-time lobbyist, but why bust your ass in your fifties for $2 or $3 million a year when you could have been making $20 or $30 million a year on Wall Street in your twenties?

So is Ryan telling the truth when he claims that he’s just a wonk, just wants to make the world a better place via free-market capitalism? No, he isn’t. To coin a phrase, he’s a big fat liar. Ryan lists the late Rep. Jack Kemp as his mentor and role model. Kemp was perhaps the most passionate advocate of the holy gospel of supply-side economics this side of George Gilder. Both men believed that the absolutely unfettered free market would solve all of mankind’s ills. Ryan was/is also a disciple of the legendary Ayn Rand, the Queen of Mean, saying that he frequently reread Ayn’s exercise in übermenschlichkeit, Atlas Shrugged, but, grudgingly aware that Ayn’s atheism and frequently expressed hostility to the Catholic Church (Ryan was raised a Catholic) didn’t sit well with the evangelical set, pulled in his horns just a bit, so to speak, and more recently pronounced himself a big fan of supposed big thinker Yuval Levin, who celebrated the Republican takeover of the House of Representatives in 2010, so hailed by Ryan as essentially his work (“I just decided instead of trying to win the argument internally, I tried to win it externally, and that took hold”), with a piece for the National Interest entitled “Beyond the Welfare State”.

According to Ryan, Levin “does a very good job of articulating why these are good ideas and the right way to go and how they’re philosophically connected with one another and consistent.” Indeed, Levin has made a career out of pretending to be a student of Edmund Burke, but back in 2011 he sounded a lot more like Herbert Hoover, making a multi-pronged assault on the welfare state: “The reason is partly institutional: The administrative state is dismally inefficient and unresponsive, and therefore ill-suited to our age of endless choice and variety. The reason is also partly cultural and moral: The attempt to rescue the citizen from the burdens of responsibility has undermined the family, self-reliance, and self-government. But, in practice, it is above all fiscal: The welfare state has turned out to be unaffordable, dependent as it is upon dubious economics and the demographic model of a bygone era.”

Despite his “the bottom line is the bottom line” pitch, Levin was not at all shy about making Randy/Hooverian generalizations about the welfare state as the source of modern-day moral collapse:

This is the second major failing of this vision of society [the first is that it is grossly inefficient] — a kind of spiritual failing. Under the rules of the modern welfare state, we give up a portion of the capacity to provide for ourselves and in return are freed from a portion of the obligation to discipline ourselves. Increasing economic collectivism enables increasing moral individualism, both of which leave us with less responsibility, and therefore with less grounded and meaningful lives.

Moreover, because all citizens — not only the poor — become recipients of benefits, people in the middle class come to approach their government as claimants, not as self-governing citizens, and to approach the social safety net not as a great majority of givers eager to make sure that a small minority of recipients are spared from devastating poverty but as a mass of dependents demanding what they are owed. It is hard to imagine an ethic better suited to undermining the moral basis of a free society.4

In other words, it is not only means-tested welfare programs that are morally corrupting—and it is these that the general public thinks of (and often resents) as “welfare”—but Social Security and Medicare as well. In fact, they’re the really bad ones!

Unsurprisingly (but predictably) Levin doesn’t have the courage to follow his own argument and simply eliminate Social Security and Medicare. Instead, he’d make them means-tested. Most people would still get some retirement assistance (but why wouldn’t this still be “bad”?), but most people—the middle class in particular—wouldn’t get as much. And everyone would have to buy their own health insurance, with some assistance from the federal government to cushion the blow: “This approach would seek to let people be active consumers, rather than passive recipients of benefits — which would be good both for the federal budget (since consumer pressure in a free market keeps costs down far better than price controls) and for the character of our nation.” Naturally, the less expensive social programs, such as Head Start, would be trimmed and, ultimately, one could hope, be eliminated, since they simply waste money and make us more dependent.

It’s “interesting” to look both backwards and forwards with regard to Levin’s manifesto, looking backwards first to Ryan’s own conduct in office when, as he pictured it, he was more or less howling in the wilderness, rejected by the Republican establishment and forced, basically, to take it to the streets. Because what did Ryan do? He voted for every budget-busting Bush proposal, starting with the massive, and massively unnecessary and counter-productive, Bush tax cuts, which turned a $172 billion surplus in 2001 into a $210 billion deficit in 2002 (using 2014 dollars), and continuing through all the “unnecessary” (not to mention morally corrupting) social programs like No Child Left Behind, which added billions in education spending, through the ultimate budget-buster, the disastrous invasion of Iraq (the bold Mr. Levin makes no mention of defense spending at all in his manifesto) plus the ultimate outrage, a new entitlement program, adding billions to the Medicare tab yearly to cover prescription drugs, with no provision for funding whatsoever! Mr. Ryan, one has to say, believes that words speak louder than actions.

Supposedly, the 2010 election brought “Paul Ryan” Republicans into Congress. This is nonsense. As Ryan and Levin surely noticed, the Republicans’ ace in the hole in the 2010 election was Barack Obama’s decision, via the Affordable Care Act, not to talk about cutting Medicare, but to actually cut it—something that, of course, neither Ryan nor Levin ever talked about. Over and over again, Republicans promised never to cut “a dime of Grandma’s Medicare”, and of course they never did. Ryan and Levin “proposed” to cut Medicare 10 years down the line, which is rather like promising to go on a diet in 10 years,5 but as for the present, hey, nothing’s too good for Grandma! And Social Security, presumably the most corrupting program of all, at least in Levin’s philosophy, would never have lost a dime under Ryan’s proposals.

The one entitlement Ryan was always willing to cut was, of course, Medicaid, cutting spending for the poor, not to balance the budget but rather to hand out tax cuts to the rich, which was always the first priority of all.6 Ryan produced a variety of budget plans that were supposed to produce a balanced budget in X number of years, but they were always phony, with the popular provisions, like reduced tax rates, spelled out, while the unpopular ones, like “base broadening” (elimination of tax exemptions and other “loopholes”) left for further discussion. Medicaid would be cut immediately (it was somehow “fair” to cut benefits for the poor immediately, but not to do the same to the middle class, i.e., “Grandma”), and further spending cuts would be made in “domestic discretionary spending”, which had expanded enormously under Bush from 2001 through 2008, under legislation for which Ryan had repeatedly voted. But these cuts, like the “base broadening”, were left unspecified, to be worked out in further negotiation. In other words, Ryan would spell out the popular provisions, which would, in fact, expand the deficit dramatically, and the leave it to the Democrats to repair all the damage he had created. It would be the Democrats who would have the responsibility for balancing the budget, not Paul Ryan.

It was all a shell game, as Paul Krugman and others repeatedly pointed out, a mere partisan hustle, but it made moderate Republicans like Sykes and Will and Wilson proud. We’re serious! We’re fiscally responsible! We’re still the party of ideas! We’re not like those crazy Democrats, who are turning us into Greece!

Well, that was then. When the era of Trump dawned, Ryan was clearly in a quandary. His Wall Street buddies, whose willing servant he had always been, had no use for Trump’s bad ass, xenophobic, race-baiting populism. But Trump had the votes, so Ryan caved. And once he started, the caving never stopped.

To be fair, Ryan caved to everybody, everybody with power. He finally got his chance to cut Medicaid in the course of overturning the Affordable Care Act, but in his eagerness to both help the rich, by eliminating one of those opprobrious Obamacare abominations that actually increased taxes on innocent millionaires/billionaires, and stick it to the poor by denying health insurance to millions, he overreached himself. “It’s curious,” Republican health care maven Avik Roy opined, “that extending tax cuts [to the rich] was a higher priority for the House than addressing the fact that the bill will make insurance unaffordable for millions of Americans.” Actually, it isn’t, but fortunately the naked hypocrisy of it all caused three Republican senators, including John McCain, greatly to his credit, to gag and Obamacare was granted another day.

Yes, Paulie was denied on that occasion, but he was not denied on his tax bill, where the hypocrisy was even greater, but with so much money on the table, well, what’s a little nudity among friends? I mean, this is the way God made us!

As originally crafted, Ryan’s tax bill was revenue neutral, thanks to a “controversial” provision, a “border tax adjustment” that would have brought in $1.5 trillion over 10 years, that was furiously opposed by most corporate outfits, including Koch Inc. Ryan could have said to them, “okay, guys, you don’t like my proposal. So how are we going to make this thing revenue neutral?” But he didn’t say that. Both Ryan and the Koch folks, who had been shouting, shouting, shouting “It’s the deficit, stupid!” for eight long years, turned around and added a cool $1.5 trillion to the deficit at a minimum7 and celebrated! And then followed that up with a budget-busting spending package with both massive and entirely unnecessary increases in defense spending and equally large increases for “domestic discretionary spending”, which Republicans supposedly hate!

Charles Wilson (remember him?) at least had the honesty to be openly ashamed. Writing in his book Everything Trump Touches Dies, Wilson wrote

The bill does nothing to reduce the complexity, expense, opacity, and general brain-frying shittiness of the tax code for ordinary Americans. So much for our “Do your taxes on a postcard!” rhetoric. The tax code, baroque and ludicrously convoluted before, is even more baffling unless you can afford a fleet of corporate tax attorneys and consultants.

A prominent tax lobbyist I know wrote, “This is almost too easy. Even I feel dirty.” This person literally sat in the majority leader’s office crafting parts of the tax bill, laughing all the way to the bank. The members of the House and Senate who voted for this 479-page bill had only a few hours to consider it. I asked this lobbyist at the time what the job-creation effect would be from the corporate tax cut, and he replied, “How the fuck do I know? Something? Maybe?”

This is the legislation Paul Ryan “crafted”, or at least put his name to, and this is the legislation that John McCain voted for, a massive change to the U.S. tax code to which the U.S. Senate, the world’s greatest deliberative body, had zero input. The bill was written for them by Paul Ryan and a gaggle of lobbyists, and they contributed nothing. Decades of lying and deceit came to their full fruition. This was Paul Ryan’s achievement, and John McCain’s submission made it possible.

For whatever reason, the election of Bill Clinton to the presidency in 1992 essentially drove the Republican Party mad. Both the elite and the base were seized by a compulsive need to destroy Clintonism by any means necessary. The base seethed with paranoid rage against blacks, Hispanics, feminists, homosexuals–“the other”–while the elite sought to manage the monster and perpetuate itself first with tax cuts and “culture war” then with the intoxicating self-righteousness of a real war in the Middle East.8 But the elite discredited itself with disasters both home and abroad, and the triumph of the Tea Party signaled the collapse of elite power. For eight long years during the Obama Administration Paul Ryan served as the mask of Republican corruption. But now we see–as if it were hidden before–that the mask is as corrupt as that which it concealed.

McCain first became an advocate of campaign reform perhaps as an ass-covering measure, when he was identified as one of the “Keating Five”—five senators who aggressively promoted the interests of savings and loan hustler Charles Keating. Later, after his defeat by George W. Bush in the 2000 Republican presidential primaries, McCain was widely, and accurately, suspected of wanting to “get” evangelical groups who helped Bush defeat him. On immigration reform, McCain, like both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama (and, pretty much, myself), was a strong advocate of the “open borders” approach favored by Wall Street. The same could be said of Paul Ryan as well, but Ryan did not dare cross the rabid Republican base—much stronger in the House than the Senate—on this one. ↩︎

In what was very likely a fit of pique rather than common sense, McCain voted against George Bush’s 2001 tax cuts. It was rare for McCain to care about deficits, unless a Democrat was in office. ↩︎

Word accepts this spelling, because it accepts “bro” as a word (as well as “ha”). I find it hard to believe that I typed “bro-ha-ha” but apparently I did, if only because Word will correct “brohaha” to “brouhaha” rather than “bro-ha-ha”. I guess I was really drunk. ↩︎

Levin, who is Jewish (he was born in Israel), titles his discussion of the shortcomings of the welfare state “The Passing of an Illusion”. In 1927, Sigmund Freud published a withering critique of Christianity under the title The Future of an Illusion. You don’t have to be a Freudian (cause I sure ain’t one) to suspect that Levin unconsciously—but not consciously—echoed Freud’s title. ↩︎

Back in the eighties, when Ronald Reagan introduced Americans to “modern deficits” (Reagan doubled the size of the entire national debt in eight years, in constant dollars, although an expanding economy meant that as a percentage of GNP the increase was only 43%), Congress enacted several elaborate deficit reduction packages. All of them employed the same strategy: cosmetic cuts to get Congress through the next election, followed by “real” cuts afterwards. Inevitably, after the next election, the new Congress would “discover” that the “real” cuts were in fact “crazy” ones, and rewrite the legislation to push the new “real” cuts to after the next election. The notion that the Congress elected in 2010 could “force” the Congress elected in 2020 to make massive, and massively unpopular, cuts in Medicare is ludicrous. ↩︎

Levin, in his paper, briefly explains that he wants a simplified federal tax policy, with low rates. Despite his supposed obsession with soaring deficits, he doesn’t even discuss the possibility of raising taxes to reduce them, probably because he knows that would work, as it did under Clinton, and he doesn’t want to balance the budget on the backs of the rich. ↩︎

The bill made tax cuts for the rich permanent but set the tax cuts for the middle class to expire in 10 years. Now Republicans are “proposing” to make them permanent. This is probably an election-year gambit, but if it works, what are they going to do? Say they were lying? ↩︎

For many evangelicals, the events in the contemporary Middle East are a direct continuation of the events of the Bible–God’s Will in action. ↩︎

#John McCain #Paul Ryan #Republican Party #Lyin' Paulie Ryan

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wesonerdy · 8 years ago

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A Stardance Summer by Emily March is out now! If you’re looking for a swoony summer read, start here with the newest in the Eternity Springs series!

Courtesy of St. Martin’s Press

Synopsis

Return to the beloved small town of Eternity Springs in the newest installment of Emily March’s New York Times bestselling series with A Stardance Summer.

Sometimes the end of one road

Brick Callahan enjoys every minute of chaos at his campground, Stardance Ranch, especially after the Tornado Alleycats arrive for an extended summer stay. The members of the all-female glamorous camping club are primarily seniors—active and adventurous, friendly and fun. But when he discovers Liliana Howe frolicking with the glamping grannies in a late night skinny-dipping session, he fears he’s in for a summer of trouble. Because his best friend’s kid sister has grown up to be drop-dead gorgeous…is the start of another.

Betrayed by those she trusted, Lili decides she’s put her career first for too long. She sells her practical sedan, buys a travel trailer, and heads to Eternity Springs for a summer of rest, relaxation, and reassessment as the newest member of the Alleycats. The last person she expects to find running an RV resort is her high school crush. Their undeniable mutual attraction is a reminder that life is full of surprises. But when the past comes calling, will their summer romance stand the test of time?

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-A-Million | IndieBound | Powells Add to your Goodreads TBR!

Courtesy of St. Martin’s Press

Excerpt

Chapter One

Twenty years later

I won’t cry. I absolutely, positively will not cry.

Liliana Howe silently repeated the mantra as she rang the doorbell of her parents’ home in Norman, Oklahoma. She still had a key to the house, but her arms were full with two large white paper bags of her father’s favorite Tex-Mex from the taqueria over by Oklahoma University.

Brian and Stephanie Howe met at home for lunch every day, but it was rare for Lili to join them. She usually worked through lunch. But then, today was not a usual day, was it?

Her father answered the door. His gray eyes rounded in surprise. “Lili? Did we forget a lunch date?”

“No, Dad. I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d surprise you with lunch from Miguelito’s.”

“Well, that’s nice.” He opened the screen door. “Come on in. Let me help you with those bags.”

He led her through the house back toward the kitchen. “That smells wonderful. This is a real treat, Liliana. Your mother doesn’t let me have Mexican too often.”

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you guys.”

They walked into the kitchen to find her mother seated at the table staring intently at her computer. Typical Stephanie Howe. Always working. Without looking up, she said, “Stevenson has the best rating, but—”

“Look who’s here, honey,” Lili’s father interrupted.

Stephanie Howe finally glanced up, her thoughts obviously somewhere else, because she gazed at Lili as if she didn’t recognize her. Lili waved her fingers. “Surprise.”

“Oh.” Stephanie gave her head a little shake. “Lili. Hello. Did we forget a lunch date?”

Inwardly, Lili sighed. “No. I was in the mood for Mexican and I thought of Dad.”

“It’s not good for his cholesterol.”

“No, but once in a blue moon won’t hurt him. Dr. Derek told me that himself.”

She unloaded the bags, setting tacos, cheese enchiladas, refried beans, guacamole, and tortilla chips in the center of the table. Her mother brought plates and silverware from the cabinet. “Nevertheless, it’s nice to see you. It’s been too long. How are you, Lili? Have you recovered from tax season?”

“It’s definitely behind me,” she replied with a wry twist of her lips.

They all filled their plates. Not anxious to spill her own beans, Lili took an extra spoonful of refried and asked, “So, what do you hear from Derek?”

Her parents spent quite a bit of time talking about their renowned heart surgeon son. Nerves caused Lili to make a pig of herself on chips and guacamole, and she didn’t miss her mother’s judgmental frown.

Finally, after extolling Derek’s most recent peer recognition award, her father asked Lili what was new with her work and the moment was at hand.

She sipped her water, wished it were a beer, and summarized the sequence of events that had led her to this crisis point. Then she waited for them to react.

And she waited.

And waited.

Her parents shared one of those long, hard-to-read looks that made Lili’s stomach do a bit of a sick flip. Her father cleared his throat. “It’s an incredible tale.”

Her mother nodded. “Unbelievable.”

Lili sucked salt off her bottom lip. She hadn’t expected them to jump to their feet and vow to make the villains pay, but she’d thought they’d be angry on her behalf. Not . . . reserved.

Deep within her, despair kindled to life. They were her parents. She was counting on them. Nevertheless, she pressed ahead, calmly and logically laying out the approach she wanted to take and the assistance she needed from her mother and father.

Again, her parents shared one of those inscrutable looks. Lili’s heart began to pound. “I don’t know, Liliana,” her father said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It would be hard to fight them. They’re powerful people. I hate to say it because it’s not the way this country was supposed to work, but if a Normal Joe tries to go up against powerful people, most often he loses.

“I don’t want to see you get involved with making a charge against the police. That could turn nasty real fast. This cop . . . you said you think your bosses might have threatened him, too? He might be in an even tougher position than you.”

“But he lied, Dad! He falsified records.”

“But you have no proof of that, do you?”

“Just my word.” Isn’t that enough, Dad? At least for you?

“Maybe you should let things lie for a while. Give it some time. See how things work out. I think it’s simply too soon to call the governor and ask for a personal favor.”

That, Lili knew, was a no. A no and a verbal punch to the gut. After her father’s heroic efforts during Central Oklahoma’s most recent tornado outbreak, hadn’t the governor given Brian Howe her direct phone number and instructions to call if he ever needed help with anything? Lili could think of only one reason why he denied her request, and it made her want to toss her guaco.

“Maybe later on when everything settles down we can look at the situation again.”

He didn’t believe her. He didn’t believe in her. Neither did her mother. Lili’s heart twisted. She knew her parents. They wouldn’t come right out and say it, but she saw the significant looks they’d exchanged. Noticed the way they wouldn’t meet her eyes.

They believed she’d been driving drunk last night and the DUI was legit. They did not believe that she’d been set up.

They thought she’d lied.

Lied!

Hurt like nothing she’d ever known washed through her. Lili had never been a liar. Even as a child she’d been frightfully honest. Hadn’t that been her way of attempting to gain favor with her parents? Her brilliant older brother spun stories that had fooled her equally brilliant parents, but eagle-eyed little sister often knew the truth. And tattled. But always with the truth.

Always.

Yet now, they doubted her? They believed her so irresponsible that she would climb behind the wheel of a car after she’d been drinking, thus risking her life, the lives of others, and her license to practice her profession?

Good grief, did they think she’d embezzled money from senior citizens, too?

Lili swallowed hard. Inside, her heart was bleeding. I will not cry. I will not cry. She couldn’t believe this. What was she going to do now?

The only thing she was certain of was that she needed to leave. Immediately. Before she lost her enchiladas all over her mother’s Italian tile.

But Lili couldn’t make herself stand up. Her knees were too weak.

“I think your father is right.” Stephanie Howe reached over and patted Lili’s hand. “You know, dear, maybe this is for the best. You haven’t been happy in your work for some time now.”

“You never liked accounting,” her father added helpfully. “Perhaps it’s best that you look on this event as an opportunity.”

An opportunity? For what? Prison? Hysterical laughter bubbled up inside her, but Lili swallowed it down.

Lili’s mother rose from the table and removed a glass pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator. She topped off her husband’s glass and changed the subject.

Lili didn’t really care about the plans for their next-door neighbor’s upcoming retirement party. Nor did she give a fig about OU football recruiting rumors. She spent the rest of the meal in a distracted fog.

Finally, having cleaned his plate—twice—Brian Howe set down his fork, wiped his mouth with a napkin, then checked his watch. “I’ve gotta run. I have a one o’clock conference call.”

Standing, he leaned over and pressed a kiss against Lili’s hair. “It was nice to see you, sweetheart. Don’t be such a stranger.”

Minutes later, he walked out the door and Stephanie was preparing to follow. “I hate to rush you, Lili, but I have office hours before my two o’clock lecture.”

Stephanie Howe taught advanced mathematics at OU. “That’s okay, Mom. Why don’t you go on? I’ll stay and load the dishwasher.”

“Thank you. You’ll lock up when you’re done?”

“I will.”

Her mother ducked into the master bedroom and returned a few moments later with her hair and teeth brushed and wearing new lipstick. On the way out the door, she paused. “Lili, things happen for a reason, and often, we don’t know what that reason is. Sometimes you simply need to give it a little time.”

She gave a little finger wave, then exited the house. Lili stood in the center of her parents’ kitchen, her arms hanging limply at her sides. She heard her mother’s car start, then back out of the driveway. Lili was alone. Alone and . . . lost.

Her parents didn’t believe her. Why not? What had she ever done to earn this lack of faith?

Nothing. She might not have been the smartest Howe sibling, but she’d made it a point to be the one who never screwed up. Derek the Favorite couldn’t say that. The time her brother had come within a phone call of getting an MIP, he’d deserved one. He and his trouble-magnet best friend had celebrated the no-hitter Mark had thrown in the regionals of the state baseball tournament by buying a fifth of bourbon with fake IDs and drinking themselves silly in a public park. Neither had gone near a car, but still.

Derek’s good luck was that their father’s administrative assistant’s husband was the chief of police. Dad had called the chief on Derek’s behalf and worked out a deal. Derek would pay the required fine and do the required community service, but it wouldn’t go on his record. Gotta protect the college applications, you know.

He’d called for Derek.

He won’t go near the phone for me.

Pressure filled Lili’s chest. It reminded her of that achy feeling she got when reading a novel where the protagonist discovers that her loved one has betrayed her. At that point in a book, Lili invariably skipped ahead to read the ending. Lili needed happy endings.

Satisfying endings didn’t work for her. She wanted happy-ever-after.

Once she knew the book was a safe read, the emotional grief she experienced eased. Then she invariably read the rest of the book backward. She was weird that way.

She’d never expected to be the wronged character in a real-life novel. Not with her parents cast as the betrayers, anyway. She wished she could skip to the end of this story. Maybe then she’d discover that her parents had believed her and believed in her all along and they had a really good reason for doing what they’d just done.

Yeah. Right. And I’ll win the next season of Who’s Got Talent because of my spreadsheet expertise.

Ordinarily, pity parties were not Liliana’s style. Today as she picked up her father’s plate from the table, she had a star-studded gala going on.

Mom and Dad didn’t believe her.

She took two steps toward the sink, then abruptly stopped. She dropped the plate.

Actually, she threw the plate. With both hands. Hard.

It smashed against the floor, shattering into dozens of pieces. Next she threw his glass and her mother’s plate and her own plate and glass. And Liliana realized she was panting as if she’d run five miles. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she blinked them away.

Then, because she was Liliana, she got a broom and dustpan and cleaned up her mess. About the time her mother would be pulling into the faculty parking lot at OU, Lili exited the house and locked the door behind her. Then she removed her parents’ house key from her key ring and dropped it through the mail slot in their front door.

As she walked down the sidewalk toward the slate-gray sedan she’d parked at the curb, the soon-to-be-retired neighbor drove into his driveway. They exchanged waves and Lili extended a trembling hand toward her car door.

“I absolutely, positively won’t cry.”

Maintaining her composure, she slid into the driver’s seat and calmly buckled the safety belt. She started her engine, shifted into drive, and slowly pulled away from her childhood home. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t curse. She wouldn’t break any more dishes or squeal her tires in a fit of temper.

Lili wasn’t reckless. She didn’t act rashly and seldom lost control of her temper or emotions. She was logical and deliberate and controlled.

And honest. Totally honest.

Just the way a good accountant should be.

The faintest of sobs escaped her at the thought.

She’d broken her mother’s Fiesta. And yes, she had goosed the gas on her practical sedan, though not enough to squeal the tires. She wasn’t certain that her engine even had enough power to do it.

Her landlady’s voice echoed through her mind. I think this car’s get-up-and-go got up and went before it ever left the showroom floor.

“I bought it used,” Lili had defended.

Patsy Schaffer clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Oh, honey. Of course you did.”

Buying this car had been a good decision, Lili told herself now. A practical purchase. Cars lost value the moment they were driven off the lot. The last thing she needed was a big car payment.

Especially since as of today, she didn’t have a job.

She sucked in a shuddering breath. What am I going to do?

“Fight.” That’s what she needed to do. That’s what she’d come to her parents’ house to do. To gather her resources. To prepare for war. This injustice could not be allowed to stand!

So fine. She’d go into battle by herself. Work from the bottom up instead of the top down. She could do it. She was a grown-up. She didn’t need her parents to fight her battles. She was accustomed to doing things alone, wasn’t she?

She’d go back to the office. Today. Now. What could it hurt? They couldn’t fire her again. She’d demand to speak to Fred Ormsby, the other founding partner. She’d outline her case and demand that the situation be investigated by an independent party. Then she’d go to the police and do the same thing with them.

She could do this. She was strong.

She was scared.

By the time she pulled onto I-35 headed north to her office building in downtown Oklahoma City, she’d lost the battle to hold back tears. Soon she’d soaked four tissues and was on to drowning her fifth.

Then, just as she signaled her intention to take the upcoming exit, a motorcycle screamed by, passing on the right. Only by the grace of God did she avoid hitting him.

In that instant, the blaze of Lili’s temper evaporated her fears. If she’d had another dinner plate, she’d have thrown it at the fool. She was furious that the rider had endangered himself by riding recklessly without a helmet. She was incensed at her former friend and mentor in the firm and at his criminal connections in the police department who were able to create false DUI charges out of nothing.

And her parents . . . Lili swallowed hard. Her parents. For them, she had no words.

Downtown, she found a parking spot two blocks from her building, so she took it. She grabbed a fresh tissue, flipped down the visor mirror, and wiped away mascara tracks. She blew her nose, put on fresh lipstick, and pinched some color into her wan cheeks.

Drawing two calming, bracing breaths, she stepped outside and prepared to go to war.

Lili marched up the street. You can do this. You can do this. Right is on your side. Justice will prevail.

She was halfway to her building’s front door when the problem occurred to her. They’d taken away her credentials. She wouldn’t be allowed upstairs.

They’d taken her credentials. They’d taken her reputation. They’d taken her license. A great yawning sense of despair opened up inside her. I’m powerless.

The door to her building opened and her former mentor and the firm’s other founding partner stepped outside. Okay. Okay. Her luck was turning. Here was an opportunity. Approaching them on a public street wouldn’t be her first choice, but the fact that they’d come out of the building right at this particular moment was a sign, was it not?

She took one more step forward, then stopped abruptly. A third person had joined them. A third person smiled and laughed and flirted up at the two men old enough to be her father.

Tiffany Lambeau.

Lili’s nemesis.

When Tiffany had followed Mark Christopher to the University of Hawaii, Lili had hoped Norman, Oklahoma, had seen the last of her. Instead, Tiffany had come home with an MBA and a “broken” heart quickly healed by a prominent banker. Now Tiffany was on the prowl again, and she’d started working at the firm late last year as a consultant. She knew everyone of consequence in town— maybe the entire state—and she’d quickly weaseled her way into visiting the corner offices. Often.

Lili watched the trio turn the other direction and stroll up the sidewalk, arm in arm, and she had no doubt that she was looking at Ormsby, Harbaugh, and Stole’s newest partner.

The guacamole in Lili’s stomach made a threatening rumble. “Oh yes,” she murmured. “Talk about a sign.”

She could possibly face the powers that be at the firm. She might even be able to hold her own while presenting her case to the cops. But Tiffany Lambeau? Forget about it.

Some parts of high school a girl simply couldn’t leave behind.

Lili pivoted and returned to her car. She thumbed the lock, opened the door, slid inside, and calmly fastened her seat belt. She sat with her hands on the wheel for a full five minutes, the events of the day running through her mind like a bad movie. How many times today had she asked herself, What am I going to do?

Now, finally, at—she glanced at the clock on her dash— 2:27 p.m., she knew the answer. “That’s it. I’m done. I quit.”

Lili switched on her ignition, shifted her car into drive, and spoke her life-changing decision aloud. “I’m going to join the Tornado Alleycats.”

Courtesy of St. Martin’s Press

About the Author

Emily March is the New York Times, Publisher’s Weekly, and USA Today bestselling author of over thirty novels, including the critically acclaimed Eternity Springs series. Publishers Weekly calls March a “master of delightful banter,” and her heartwarming, emotionally charged stories have been named to Best of the Year lists by Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, and Romance Writers of America. A graduate of Texas A&M University, Emily is an avid fan of Aggie sports and her recipe for jalapeño relish has made her a tailgating legend.

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SPOTLIGHT: ‘A Stardance Summer’ by Emily March A Stardance Summer by Emily March is out now! If you're looking for a swoony summer read, start here with the newest in the…

#A Stardance Summer #Contemporary Romance #Emily March #Eternity Springs series #Excerpt #Spotlight #St. Martin&039;s Press #teasers

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