#hoseok thirst hours

[nemjoonsart]

JUNGKOOK for CALVIN KLEIN 🌸

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 6 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood

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a/n: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

taglist: @wecanpretendit |

You open up your eyes the next day, you didn’t get enough sleep but your phone just buzzed a notification, you click your tongue when you recall that you fell asleep before putting your phone on silent or do not disturb, you woke up with a mild hangover from last night’s poker game. You rub your eyes and immediately dig between your pillows to locate your phone.

You scrunch your eyes at the brightness when you unlock your phone, two notifications caught your attention, one being an email from the medical association, announcing that there’s a conference happening in Ilsan on Monday and you have to prepare a lecture for it. You’ve always attended those kinds of meetings but just as listener, but this year it’s your first time as a speaker since you managed to be one of the best in your department, the first notification made your day already, you’re proud of yourself.

But this email was sent a couple hours ago.

The second notification showing that someone texted you something two minutes ago and they unsent it, you click on the app and scroll through it, you even try googling how you can see who’s the sender, but you got zero results.

You scroll down and spot your chat with Namjoon, you click on it to see his last seen being a minute ago, but this doesn’t prove anything, it could be just a coincidence.

Although it isn’t.

Namjoon is dragging his carryon with him on his way to the terminal, he throws away his third empty cup of coffee before grabbing his phone, he’s been thinking about you the entire night, he wants to talk.

“how are you?”

“can we talk?”

It doesn’t even take a split second for him to unsend those messages, he can’t do it over text or over the phone, and he has to fly in less than an hour so he can’t really do anything until he lands in Seoul. He needs to see you face to face.

He swipes the app away and locks his phone when he arrives to the terminal.

-

“Shouldn’t the hospital pay for your ticket?” Jungkook asks out of breath, both of you are running on the treadmill, you’ve been working out together for some time now.

You and Jungkook met in the states in your first year in university, you both had majored in medicine, but he couldn’t keep up with the pressure, he went through so much that he just had to switch majors, he took the first plane back to Seoul and finished getting his degree to become a teaching assistant in Seoul’s university. You lost connection with him for a long time and you ran into him years after in a club and you became closer than ever.

“Yeah, they do, but I think I should take my car so I can move freely around there.” You shrug, he looks at you before squinting his eyes. “Honey it’s just one day, just go do your speech and fly back. Plus, the hospital is paying so you don’t have to spend anything.”

“It’s not about the money honey.” You mock his words, “It’s just that I don’t mind driving.”

“Don’t, really. Flying there is much safer.” He finally stops running when he finishes his miles. “You can’t drive there and back here on your own anyway, it’s not safe.”

You roll your eyes before turning off the treadmill, you grab your bottle of water and drink some to quench your thirst. “Whatever dumbass, you have to help me with my lecture.”

Both of you decided to shower at the gym and head out to Hoseok’s, they helped you choose a subject for your lecture and you finished it in a couple hours, it was a piece of cake with their help.

“Is it true what I heard?” Hoseok shuts his laptop and grabs a slice of pizza, you and Jungkook both turn to him in confusion. “What?” You ask.

“I heard some stuff from Seokjin hyung.” Hoseok takes a bite and wipes his mouth clean, you try and act oblivious but Jungkook is getting curious. “What?” He looks at you then back at Hoseok.

“Y/n hooked up with the guy she kissed at the club.” Hoseok shrugs. “It’s okay to talk about it since it’s over now, right?”

The younger looks at you with a shameless smirk on his face. “Nice.” He nods his head. You squint your eyes and elbow his chest. “Shut up.”

“So you totally agreed to hook up with a stranger but not with me.” He genuinely seems offended.

“Get over it Kook,” Hoseok huffs. “The guy is married.”

You study Hoseok’s face, is he pretending that he doesn’t know about the divorce? Or did he not really read his papers?

“You slept with a married man?” Jungkook exclaims a bit too loud that you rub your ear. “Okay first off, the neighbors don’t have to know, you don’t need to be loud.” He pouts.

 You rub your forehead, you recall that night clearly when you tried to guess what’s his job, you literally had his hands in yours, there wasn’t a ring on it. “And in my defense, he didn’t tell me he’s married.”

“You should’ve asked.” Hoseok points and Jungkook agrees which makes your jaw drop. “Why would a married man flirt with a stranger? He’s the one who started talking to me.”

“Men don’t get enough-” Hoseok shrugs and gets interrupted by Jungkook. “No no, men never get enough.”

You knew all along that some men are pigs but now you somehow find this very unbelievable, and you’re positive that your friends might be pigs too, they’re men too after all.

“He has a child.” Your voice barely comes out, you’re in denial.

“So?” Jungkook asks as if having a wife and a son isn’t enough of a reason, you look at Hoseok, he’s just eating carelessly and totally not shaken by Jungkook’s question and the cringe on your face.

You close your eyes and shake your thoughts out of your head. “Okay, we need to stop talking about this, it was just a one time hook up and it won’t happen again, I don’t even know the guy.”

-

Monday came in a blink of an eye, surprisingly you weren’t that nervous, you got into a formal attire and filled your handbag with everything you could ever need, your flight is scheduled at 9 in the morning, you’ll be landing in Ilsan an hour later, and your flight back is scheduled to land in Seoul around 7 in the evening.

You grab your phone to find your friends active on the group chat wishing you good luck, you hover your fingers over the screen and respond to them with a smile on your face.

You take a cab to the airport and check in and head to your gate, you’re on your iPad re reading your lecture again while listening to music, you take a sip from your coffee and you spot a bunch of cabin crew and you scoff.

You didn’t realize how wrong Namjoon did you until now, everything seems to remind you of how bad things turned, and no matter how hard you convinced yourself that he’s just a stranger and you won’t have to see him again, you still grit on your teeth. You’ve always been smart and wit, your gut feeling was always right and you question yourself, why did you decide to ignore it this time, you have no idea.

Maybe something deep inside you actually had a thing for Namjoon, not a crush or something, but he just ticks everything on your list, and you find him quite close to your ideal type of men, but oh well, the man is married.

Well, he’s getting a divorce too. You think and you widen your eyes at your own thoughts before you burry your face in your palms.

Even if he was already divorced or whatever, that wasn’t your problem now. The man lied, and he’s a total red flag for you now, you didn’t have full trust in him to begin with, and now you can’t trust him at all.

Do men really not get enough? You recall what your friends said days ago, they can’t be totally right, you’ve seen healthy relationships before where each partner finds the other more than enough and they’re totally happy with each other.

You lift your face back up and you see the cabin crew again, you could clearly see what seemed to be the pilot flirting with one of the flight attendants, and goodness there’s a ring on his finger. Men.

Namjoon could’ve totally slept with so many women and convinced them that he’s single just like he did to you.

Speaking of which.

Namjoon is in the airport bathroom soaking himself with perfume before he heads to the terminal, he’s a few minutes behind the rest of the cabin crew.

The past few days were extremely hard on him, he’s been flying nonstop all over the republic just to distract himself from over thinking and just to waste time. He was going to try and contact you but he still isn’t brave enough to do so. He even drove to your place and stayed in his car for hours, hoping that you’d head out of the building any minute, but you were staying home the past few days.

He knew if he called or texted you wouldn’t answer, and he’s right.

The moment he walks to the terminal and boards the plane is when your face is in your palms because you’ve been having a debate with yourself earlier.

You didn’t see him, and neither did he.

“Where have you been?” His co pilot speaks as he enters the cockpit, Namjoon puts his carryon in the overhead bin before putting his phone down on his seat. “I was having a smoke.”

Boarding finally starts and you walk through the boarding bridge while carefully slipping your iPad in your bag making sure it won’t touch your heels, you chose to wear a pair of sneakers on your way there and change into your heels when you finally get there.

A queue is forming near the airplane door and you hear the flight attendants giggling with the passengers, you step a foot into the plane and one of the cabin crew welcomes you with the fakest wide smile ever. “Welcome aboard, may I see your boarding pass?”

“Thanks.” You hand her the ticket not bothering to mirror her smile, “I’ll take it from here.” A deep voice resonates that makes you lift your face up to see him.

Fucking Kim Namjoon.

Out of all the flights your hospital could’ve booked, they chose the one that Namjoon was flying.

Your eyes meet and it feels like you’ve seen him not long ago, you feel yourself getting charged with hate and anger again when you see him and you hardly control yourself to not snap at him and make a scene.

 He snatches the ticket from the flight attendant and looks closely at it. “Come, I’ll walk you to your seat.” An immediate frown sits between your brows, you know he’s not authorized to walk you to your seat, and you can hear the other cabin crew whispering between each other.

You don’t have to take a long walk to your seat since the hospital booked you a business class ticket even when it’s just a one hour flight. Namjoon leads the way and you walk after him, he stops near your seat and points his head towards it. “Here you go.”

He didn’t leave you a good amount of space to enter your seat, so you stand super close to him before putting your bag down and take a your seat. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He bends down on his knees and leans his arm against the seat in front of you. ”How long are you staying in Ilsan?” And you immediately answer while trying to look careless, unlocking your phone and scrolling through it. “None of your business.”

“Y/N, please, we need to talk.” He begs with his voice barely whispering. “I’ll be waiting for you when we land-“

“Save it Namjoon, I’m going there for business and I don’t have the time.” You look at him, a sigh escapes his nose and he swallows when he looks at your lips for seconds, before looking back into your eyes. “I won’t waste your time, I’ll drive you wherever you wanna go. But please.” He begs again, his hand nearly falling on your leg but he stops himself and rests it on the back of your seat.

You scoff and shake your head, you look through the window for a second, then look back at him. “Look at you.” His eyes are locked onto yours. You continue. “Just so you know, there’s nothing you could say to explain yourself.”

“Namjoon, they need you in the cockpit.” A flight attendant nudges his shoulder, he nods without even looking up at her, then leans in closer. “Don’t get off the plane when we land, just stay here and we’ll leave together.”

You sigh in response and his hand finally lands on your knee for a quick touch of affirmation, he gets up and makes his way to the front of the plane, you eye him from head to toe, your eyes piercing through his big body, and he knows you’re watching.

You fasten your seat belt and lean your head back on the chair, you were hoping that you’d catch some sleep on the plane but you can’t.

You can easily predict what he wants to talk about, and you really used to fancy this man in general, but now he looks like a total different human being to you, and you can’t say you’re not disappointed.

You’re not going to over think this anymore, you’ve had enough, you’re gritting on your teeth again and your jaw tenses, you feel yourself about to get a headache. You’re seeking for closure.

The announcement bell rings and your eyes widen when you hear Namjoon’s voice radiate through the speaker. “Good morning and welcome aboard, this is your captain Kim Namjoon speaking.” You find yourself breathing heavily suddenly, you look all the way to the front of the plane, you can see the cockpit door still open, and you could see just the side of Namjoon’s body and the rest is blocked by the stupid giggling flight attendant.

“First I’d like to welcome you on Korean airlines flight number KA87 heading to Ilsan, we are currently third in line for takeoff. We are expected to be in the air in approximately 14 minutes, we’ll be up to a cruising altitude of 32 thousand feet, flight time will be one hour, if the seat belt sign is turned please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened.” You can see him shifting in his seat, before your phone buzzes a text, you grab your phone and see that he was the one who sent the text.

“I’m happy to see you :)”

Your stomach does this weird thing inside you that you haven’t felt before, your hand hovers over it and you try had to calm your breath but now your heart is fluttering.

“Please switch off your mobile phones, or turn on airplane mode for safety reasons.” He speaks through the speaker and you put your phone back into your bag with your jaw down. You cannot believe him.

“In about ten minutes after departure the cabin crew will be coming around to offer you a light snack and a beverage, until then, sit back, relax and enjoy your flight, thank you.” He closes the speaker and the back of your hand sits on your burning cheek, you’re totally confused on what’s happening to you.

You unbutton the first two buttons of your shirt and fan your face, if any of the flight attendants saw you they’d think you’re afraid of heights or you’re panicking but really, you’re not. You’re just.. Overwhelmed, if that’s the right word to use.

 “Cabin crew please be seated for takeoff.” He speaks one last time before he moves the entire plane towards the runway.

Namjoon did his hardest to stay focused on the only thing he had to do, his mind was rushing with thoughts, each one interrupting the other, he has no idea how to start talking, hell he’s not even sure if you’re going to wait for him or not. He couldn’t fight the smile that’s slowly creeping on his face, it doesn’t go unnoticed by the copilot, he even smirks before asking Namjoon. “Is that your wife?”

The question robs the smile away from Namjoon’s face, and he finds himself cringing. “No.”

She could never live up to you, no offense to her. But she doesn’t put any effort in the way she looks, she never cared, in fact Namjoon doesn’t recall the last time he saw her styling her hair or putting on makeup. She’s unemployed since she’s taking care of Jay most of the time, but Namjoon opened a bank account for her so she can do whatever she wants or even buy something for herself. But she never did.

And you, gosh he doesn’t even know where to start. You’re just you.

The second you stepped foot on the plane and he saw you, he felt his stomach twist and his heart skipped a beat, he could feel a hint of tightness in his boxers as his body starts pumping blood everywhere. He really is happy to see you.

Meanwhile you’re in your seat less than an hour later as the flight attendants take their seats to prepare for landing, and you may seem biased when you admit that this was the smoothest landing ever. Namjoon must be really good.

People almost immediately rise from their seats to claim their luggage from the overhead bin, you grab your phone and turn off airplane mode, you’re welcomed to Ilsan with a few text messages from your mobile network, the moment you clear this notification you lift your face up to see the passengers beginning to exit the aircraft, and you spot Namjoon standing with the flight attendants and saying goodbye to the passengers one by one with a soft smile with his stupid dimple showing.

His eyes pierce to you between each passenger and he’s glad you actually stayed, he grabs his carryon from the bin above his head and puts it down on the floor before nodding to you.

You take it as a sign to get up and you do, throwing your bag over your shoulders and lowering your sunglasses down to cover your eyes, you walk towards him and you feel your body heat up the second he puts his hand on your lower back. “How was your flight?”

You look at him and roll your eyes at how cocky he’s getting and he lets out a soft laugh. “I’m just messing with you.” This motherfucker.

“What brings you to Ilsan?” He starts talking as you’re walking down the stairs of the plane, and you take a second to give him a blurry answer. “I’m here for work.”

“Work?” He asks as both of you make it inside the bus that’s driving you to the airport gate.

You look around the bus and it’s packed with people and there isn’t a single seat empty, you lean your back against the window near the door and you try finding a hand grip to hold onto, Namjoon leans both his palms behind you and nods. “Hold onto me, it’s okay.”

The smell of his cologne mixed with cigarettes wafts through your nose, you’re sandwiched between him and the window, and you’re surrounded by so many people that it’s physically impossible to push him. You look into his eyes to see him staring at your lips, your eyes wander lower to his neck to see his necklace.

It’s the necklace you saw on his neck the morning he left your place.

Your fingertips move towards his neck before you fish out the necklace from underneath the buttoned shirt. The look on your face makes his heart shatter, and even his heart melts when you breathed. “That’s your son.”

He looks down to your fingers and he touches the small necklace too, making both your fingertips touch, you feel his touch in a form of electric current and you lower your hand immediately. “That’s my son.” He whispers.

You study his face for a long second.

Despite the fact that he cheated and what he did was wrong on so many levels,  he looks like he totally regrets it, and he seems like he genuinely wants to make things right with you. You’re ready to hear him out.

“Alright.” You sigh and he smiles softly, tugging softly on the loose strand of your hair behind your ear.

The bus starts moving and you immediately hold onto his wrist for support, his smile goes wider before he grabs your hand into his, intertwining his fingers between yours which settles this weird feeling down in the pit of your stomach. What in hell is going on?

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He takes a step closer to you, the smell of his cologne getting stronger and chest barely brushing against yours. You remind yourself that this man lied to you once and you can’t just let him off the hook this easy.

It’s a five minute ride to the airport and it felt like five hours to you, you’re getting worried at how your body is reacting around this man.

You finally get to the airport and finish all your paperwork, he fishes out a pair of car keys and leads you to the parking lot.

“You’re renting?” You question him while buckling up and he shakes his head. “It’s my sister’s car.”

“Ah yes, you’re from Ilsan.” You remember that he told you this before and he nods, you lean down to take off your sneakers and socks off, you switch to the pair of heels you have in your bag, you can feel his eyes on you so you turn to look at him. “What?”

“Where are we going?” He asks, you show him the exact location that the conference was held in and he nods and starts driving, he doesn’t even bother opening maps or anything, he knows every alley in Ilsan. “How long are you staying here?”

“Namjoon, you’re the one who’s supposed to be talking.” You sounded too mean and he starts feeling pressured, his breath becoming slowly irregular. “Fine, fine.”

You look at him while he’s driving, he’s forming small sweat pebbles on his forehead and his grip around the steering wheel gets tighter. “I’m sorry.”

You’re fed up with how hesitant and scared he seems. “Yeah, I know, and?”

“I uhm.. I should have.. told you since day one.” He clears his throat. “What I did was really wrong and unfair to you.”

Your hand sits on your chest when you exclaim. “To me? You’re married, you should feel sorry for your wife.”

A frown sits on his face and he feels his blood pressure elevating by the second, he gets really irritated at the mention of her. “No, y/n, you don’t know anything.” You frown. “Enlighten me.”

He rubs his face and his jaw tenses, he opens his mouth to start talking, but he shakes his head instead and looks through the window. “For fucks sake Namjoon.” Your voice starts getting louder, he slams the steering wheel and finally bursts. “I’m miserable, okay?” He’s louder than you are.

“I’m fucking miserable, I’m not happy, and I’m lonely.” His chest heaves up, he runs his fingers through his hair before continuing. “My life is a fucking nightmare, y/n.”

You feel your heart clenching when his voice starts getting shaky. “It’s killing me.”

This man lied to you once and you don’t feel like you can trust him again, for all you know, he could be lying to you again. You’re unsure if the reasons he listed earlier are valid enough for him to cheat on his wife.

“I feel like shit for doing you wrong.” He stops the car on the side of the road and looks at you. “You have the right to be mad at me, I know I’m a terrible person.”

And right off the top of your head you ask him. “Is she not good to you?” Your voice comes out in a form of a whisper. He scoffs and shakes his head before looking down. “I’ve known her for years, but she still feels like a stranger..:”

You lose it when you see tears forming in his eyes. “We painted this fake image of us holding hands in front of people and smiling just so they think that we’re happy, but we’re not even an inch close to happy. I tried so hard to compromise but I got nothing in return, it was always me who has to work hard for this marriage and I got nothing. I thought that life just goes on and maybe that’s what all married couple are like, but no. I’ve made so many wrong decisions in my life but she was the worst ever.” His tears finally roll down on his cheek and he just sobs, gravity does its job and his tears fall onto his lap.

You’ve never seen a man this weak and vulnerable, you feel your heart squeezing at his state, he looked so firm and happy on the outside, he looked stable, but he was able to conceal it all very well, that must’ve drained him through those years.

You unbuckle your seatbelt and sit on your knees, you grab his head into your hands and brush his tears with your thumb softly before hugging him closer to you, he wraps his arms around you and speaks. “Imagine being silenced for years.” He pulls back, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ve been through this nightmare for three fucking years and I couldn’t say a word to anyone about how fucking miserable I am.”

“Shh. It’s okay.” You whisper, cupping his jaw in your hands and tracing it with your thumb, you brush your nose against his and close your eyes. “I’m here.”

He grips onto your top with his fist and pulls back, “What?”

You feel the need to help him escape this, the man is clearly going through severe depression and he’s emotionally deprived from any act of affection or love. It’s not like you’re offering to love him, but you need to help him get back on his feet.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” You smile softly at him and offer him your hand, he locks his eyes into yours and grabs your hand pulling it closer to his face, he leans his head onto it and kisses it softly.

“Thank you.” He whispers while mirroring your smile. You giggle and adjust your seat. “We have to get back on the road Namjoon.”

He nods and turns the car back on before hitting the road again, you felt the need to explain to him the reason you’re in Ilsan and he ends up offering to attend the conference with you, actually no, he insisted on attending.

He parks in front of the building and both of you exit the car, he opens his carry on and manages to change just his top before entering the main hall.

“Miss y/l/n.” The head of the medical association approaches you while reaching his hand out to you, you shake his hand firmly and smile. “Lovely to see you Mr. Baek.”

“I’m so glad you got to be a speaker this year.” He smiles back, his eyes spotting Namjoon behind you, you pull back and put your hand behind Namjoon’s back, pushing him closer to you. “Let me introduce you, this is my friend Namjoon.”

“Nice to meet you.” Namjoon shakes his hand firmly before the old man speaks to you. “It’s lovely for you to have support, we’re all so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You smile before hooking your arm around Namjoon’s. “Pardon us.”

Even when you just introduced Namjoon as your friend, he’s not used to being touched like that in public because he was never touched like that in the first place.

-

Speaking in front of a huge crowd was never a big deal for you, your lecture was interesting to begin with and your powerful personality made a strong presence on stage, you almost forgot that Namjoon was between the crowd watching you with his jaw slightly open.

The second you stepped on that stage he felt… Euphoric.

He listens to every single word that comes out of your lips attentively even when you’re using complicated medical terms, he scans your body language and your hand movements and he swears he hasn’t been this impressed by a woman before.

He’s proud of you.

You’re the woman he’s always imagined having in his dreams, he was quite the ambitious person himself and he had so many goals he wanted to achieve but his personal life always stood in the way.

He finds himself charged when he’s around you and not only sexually, he’s suddenly in a better mood and his brain and body function better, he finds himself way less anxious than when he’s around his family, although he should feel this way around his son too, but your aura is totally different.

His heart skips a beat again when your eyes meet in the middle of your lecture and you smile softly at him as if he’s the one who needs support. He finds your smile contagious and he gives you one back with a soft nod, he’s really proud of you.

You finally end your lecture and they applaud you, you know you did great. You bow your head and get off the stage to be welcomed by a few colleagues who shake your hand and make small talk with you about how good your lecture and where your sources were from, they even ask you a couple questions about your topic.

You got offered two jobs on the spot in two different hospitals around the republic but you were kind enough to refuse, the hospital you currently worked at is the hospital that helped you get where you currently are.

You thank them and make your way back to your chair, Namjoon gets up on his feet and grabs your hand into his. “You were great.”

“I know, thank you.” You grin when he pulls you closer for a soft kiss on your cheek, he pulls your chair back for you to sit next to him, and both of you sit back to listen for the rest of the conference.

It’s a couple hours later, Namjoon is driving you back to the airport while you’re on your phone texting your friends on your group chat, they had planned a dinner to celebrate you tonight, so Taehyung was supposed to pick you up from the airport since he already lives close to it.

“Can’t you please stay for tonight?” He manages to turn his head towards you for a split second while he’s driving, you lock your phone and put it down before you speak. “I’m supposed to meet my friends for dinner and I’m on call tomorrow morning.”

His shoulders sulk in disappointment and a sigh escapes his nose, his eyes are now focused on the road and it’s clearly showing that he wants to be around you more, which kicks your ego up to the top.

At the same time he doesn’t argue and he doesn’t insist, he just wants to give you your own space so he won’t pressure you, you chuckle before running your fingers to the back of his head, scratching his scalp with your nails. “You know I can see you back in Seoul.”

You know your hand drives him crazy and you could care less If you crash, you want to leave him edged and thirsty for more and you like it. His eyelids starts to feel heavy and he fights it so hard to stay focused on the road. “It’s just that..” He breathes, your fingers move down to scratch his neck, he swallows before he proceeds. “.. I wanted us to be alone and away together.”

You take a long breath before you retrieve your hand back onto your lap, you’re not going to give him what he wanted immediately. You did offer your help but you didn’t forget about the terrible lie he played on you. So he deserves to be denied for the mean time. “If that’s your way of inviting me to bed than save it.” You smirk. He lets out a quiet laugh and stretches his hand to sit on your inner thigh, his fingers squeezing your covered flesh softly and stroking it, “Fine, I deserve to be punished after all.” He bites on his lip.

“Good boy. I’m glad you’re aware of that.” You managed to play the role of the tough cookie but you can’t deny that his touch is doing wonders to you, the warmth of his hand against your covered skin and his soft strokes gives you flashbacks of that night you spent together, and the other nights where you made him cum just by hearing your voice.

You finally get to the airport and he turns off the car in the parking lot, he looks at you while unbuckling his belt. “Are you sure you don’t have the time?”

“The gate is already open Namjoon.” You look at the time on your wrist, you unbuckle your seat belt and fish out your documents from the bag. “Thank you for keeping me company.”

“I’ll see you back in Seoul?” He coaxed, you giggle and take your time to answer with a slow nod. “I’ll see you back in Seoul.”

He leans in and you think he’s going to kiss you on the cheek, but he moves further down to brush the tip of his nose against the pulse of your neck, he takes a long inhale through his nose, collecting whatever he can of your smell which arouses him, he closes his eyes and whispers. “I can’t say it enough, but I’m truly sorry.”

You clear your throat before you move your hand up to his jaw and caress it with your thumb. “I know you are.”

He keeps his face buried in your neck for a couple seconds before he pulls back and locks his eyes with yours, you see the face you saw earlier this morning, apologetic and full with regret.

“I have to go.” Your faces are extremely close that he feels your hot breath hit his glistening lips, he nods and fully pulls back to collect his phone and keys. “Come on, let me walk you inside.”

-

“I don’t know if we say this enough y/n, but we’re totally proud of you. We’re always there for you and we’ve got your back, we truly love you.” Taehyung lifts his glass of champagne up on the air before all you clink your glasses together. “To y/n.”

You sip some of your drink and put it down before Yoongi starts. “So how was your trip?”

“It was quite chill, it’s my first time on a business class, other than that everything went great, I also got a few job offers.” You slowly nod your head. Yoongi sips more of his drink and lifts up an eyebrow. “I heard some stuff from Jungkook.”

You snap your head towards the youngest who’s totally avoiding eye contact with you, his face flushing at the sudden mention of his name.

After all, what were you expecting? Seokjin told Hoseok, and Hoseok spoke in front of Jungkook, and now Yoongi is discussing this around the table where not only your friends are sitting, but also a couple of their partners.

And by the looks of it, his wife already know since she’s studying your face and waiting for confirmation.

Do they just go around talking to each other about you? Your hookup with Namjoon will haunt you for the rest of your life.

“Yeah it’s true.” You spit out, “Namjoon’s married?” Jimin asks and your eyes almost fall out from their sockets, as far as you remember, he knows you hooked up with someone, but not with Namjoon specifically.

“He’s married?” Taehyung dramatically drops his fork which makes you roll your eyes. “I actually saw him in Ilsan.”

Your statement was followed by a complete silence around the table, you feel everyone’s eyes on you as they’re waiting for you to elaborate, you clear your throat and open your mouth. “Relax, we didn’t go together, he was flying that plane.”

You realize that they still don’t know what he does when they look at you like you said something in a foreign language that they don’t understand. Hoseok turns his body fully towards you. “Flying the plane? Like fly fly?” He blinks repeatedly.

“He’s an aircraft pilot.” You take a sip from your champagne and you clearly see Mia and Jade, Taehyung’s girlfriend, swoon over the man, you nod with a smirk. “I know right?”

“And did you talk?” Seokjin hesitates, leaning his elbows on the table and closer towards you so he can hear you better. You nod. “Mhm. He apologized and I guess we’re okay now.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to see him again.” Taehyung whines. “You can’t be the mistress.”

Taehyung’s words woke some sense in you and you actually admit that you cannot be the mistress. You scold yourself because you shouldn’t have let him off the hook that easily and offer him closeness immediately.

You jump in your seat when your phone buzzes and speaking of the devil, it’s him.

“Call me when you’re home.”

“I miss hearing ur voice.”

A knot sits between your eyebrows and you actually leave him on read. You are not going to reply to him and that’s it. You lock your phone and put it back in your purse. “I’m not going to be the mistress.” You firmly say, and you cross your arms above your chest.

-

It’s later in the night, you had already finished your dinner with your friends that night and headed back home, you showered and put on a face mask, and went to bed really early since you’re on call in the morning.

A little past midnight, your phone vibrates repeatedly and you think it’s work because they usually call for consult during the night when you’re at home. But it’s Namjoon again.

“can I call you?”

“I’m at the hotel room”

“I’m flying back to seoul in the morning”

“I’m so glad I got to see you today”

Your fingers hover above the screen and you purse your lips, debating whether you should answer or not, but again Taehyung’s words echo in your head, which makes you quickly turn off the wifi when you see him typing, you lock your phone and put it on your nightstand.

Oh so you’re going to ghost him now?

You don’t hesitate for a second, you fall back asleep in a snap of a finger.

Meanwhile, Namjoon is freshly out of the shower, his hair dropping small pebbles of water on his neck and back, his phone is in his hand and he’s getting concerned of the fact that you’re not replying to his texts.

He actually saw it coming, and he knows you’re not going to reply to his texts or ghost him for some time, of course he’s not going to pressure you to answer, so he just puts his phone down and lies down flat on his bed. He knows he deserves the punishment.

He’s in Ilsan but he doesn’t always stay at his parents. Since he’s there partially for work, the aviation he works at provides him a room at the airport hotel, so he just stays there before he flies back to the capital.

-

To say you wake up cranky the next day is an understatement, your period started today and your tummy and back are killing you, and your headache is getting stronger by the second.

Hoseok who decided on picking you up to and from work today has been blabbering since you stepped foot in the car and you’re waiting for him to stop talking.

“Men actually love it when women are mean with them, don’t over think stuff with that man, I remember once I hooked up with a girl and I was planning on not calling her the next day, she wasn’t that special and she wasn’t really worth the shot, but I swear the minute she started being mean with me I liked her a lot better.” He even laughs and your face falls inside your palm, you could beg him to shut up.

“When she started being nice to me I got the ick and totally blocker her number, it’s just how the world works you know, and I’m not-“

“Hobi please.” You snap. “Shh.”

And the man sulks with a pout on his face, you’re not even sorry, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and your body isn’t giving you a break. You could’ve called for a day off but no one wanted to switch shifts with you.

The moment you step foot into the department, the nurses actually give you a few meds to help you go through your shift, it was hectic that day.

You grab your phone a few hours later and finally turn back on the wifi, Namjoon sent one text early in the morning, which is probably right before he headed to work.

“i hope ur okay, take care.”

Your fingers hover over the screen and you decide on messaging him back even when you don’t want to.

“fly safe J”

 Your heart beats faster when he reads the message seconds later, you’re about to lock your phone but he’s calling you, and you can’t just ignore his call when you just texted him.

You wait a couple seconds later and finally answer him. “Kim Namjoon.”

He lets out a low grunt before laughing, you can’t see him, but he’s in bed stretching, he’s sleeping on his right side with his phone under his ear, his eyes immediately shut close when he hears his name. “Good morning.” His voice deep and sleepy, also low so he cannot be heard.

Fuck, he’s not helping you keeping your hands to yourself when he does that.

“Did you miss your flight or what?” You grab your white coat and make your way out of the emergency department to take your call. He breathes into his phone and speaks. “No, my flight was early in the morning, I’m in Seoul now.”

You can’t help but ask, even when you really know that it’s inappropriate and really none of your business, you even stutter. “Is she there?” And it comes out as a whisper. You’re really asking him about his wife.

It takes him a few seconds to process the question, uncertain whether he should actually answer the truth or not. Because she’s home and in the next room, if he was an octave louder he would be heard.

Although he did promise himself that he won’t lie to you, so he answers. “Yes.”

Your heart clenches and no matter how hard you think you’re going to accept it, it’s just really hard to digest.

You clear your throat and bite on your nails, and as if he can see you, he laughs quietly and whispers back. “I wanted to say this to you face to face, but you have to know, whether you showed up in my life or not, I would’ve gotten the divorce any way, so don’t worry.”

Namjoon never knew what it felt like to be taken care of or shown love, and neither did you, you’ve never been in an exclusive relationship with anyone before. Of course you’re loved by your family and friends, but someone actually offering you affection and care who is neither a family nor a friend feels weirdly good.

It’s like the missing piece in your life that you just realized you needed.

But still it feels concerning when Namjoon talks about you like that, and you actually spit it out to seek for an answer so you won’t have to overthink it. “Come on Joon, it was just a one time hookup, why are you talking like it’s more than that.” You even fake a laugh to make it sound nicer than you truly mean.

And he just blurts it out. “Because it is more than just a hook up,”  And he can sense that your tension over the phone is increasing, you realize you’ve been holding your breath for a second before he speaks with an audible smirk on his lips. “Come on y/n, we both know it’s more than just a hook up.”

It slightly irritates you at how smug he sounds, you scoff before speaking. “Wow you surely sound confidant about that. I hate to break it to you, but really, it’s not true.”

“Okay.” He’s totally not convinced, you hear him muffling under the blanket in his bed. “I’ve been thinking about you the entire night.”

Now it’s your turn to make his life a little harder. “And did you make yourself cum?” He takes a long breath before he hums. “I made myself cum when I imagined the way I wanted to please you, y/n.”

You’re ashamed at the way your body reacts, even when you’re on your period, your body acts upon his words and your face flushes, you press your thighs together to ease the increasing heat between your legs.

What he just said suddenly filled a certain void inside you that you never knew existed, you’ve always wanted a man seek after your own pleasure.

Even when you absolutely enjoy the dirty talk, and even when it makes your cunt tingle, you still manage to ask him. “Hm, so I guess you called just to ease your morning wood?”

You doubt the fact that this man thinks before he talks, he sounds so convincing and genuine when he replies so fast. “Just so you know, I don’t just see you in that way.”

Of course you’re going to doubt that, but he’s is in fact serious, he does think you’re insanely attractive and really good in bed that it makes him sometimes wonder how you’re still single, but on the other hand, he finds your job and your lifestyle very interesting and attractive, it’s been a month since you guys first met at the club, he thinks he knows enough to really fancy you, but when he attended your lecture and saw how successful you are at what you do, it made him see a totally different version of you.

“Whatever Namjoon, I need to hang up.” You sit up from the bench, he doesn’t hesitate when he asks. “Do you have any plans for tonight?”

You actually have nothing planned for tonight, but you know you’re going to be kicked in the ass from your current shift and you’re also on your period. “Maybe.”

You can hear him stretching, he lets out a low grunt before he speaks again “I feel the need to take you somewhere, that’s if you don’t mind of course.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Somwhere?”

“I know a wine tasting tour held today, it’s on the outskirts though and there’s a huge farm there and it’s the harvest season, so we can actually go and check out the entire process, If you want to of course.” He seems excited when he’s speaking, still making sure he isn’t heard by the other two living under his roof.

You’re intrigued, your mind wants to say yes so badly, but your body is barely holding on for work. “I can’t today, I’m not feeling well.”

He shifts in his bed before he sits up. “Oh no, are you okay?” His voice coming out so soft and sweet, you try to stifle a grin but you can’t, and he actually hears it through the phone when you speak. “Oh my back hurts, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

Screw you Kim Taehyung for saying those words, they still echo in your head and for a split second you shrug it off, fuck it, your body is aching for Namjoon and you’re a little ashamed to admit it.

“Yeah, I mean-“ You bite hard on your poor lower lip before you realize that even if he showed up, there’s nothing to do when it’s your time of the month. “Sure, come over.”

-

Namjoon finally leaves his room after he finished his call with you, Jay was crying his lungs out and he was on the floor throwing a tantrum, and his wife is nowhere to be seen.

“Daddy.” Jay stretches his arms up when he sees his father which makes Namjoon’s heart melt, he kneels down and holds his son closer to his chest, rubbing the back of his head softly. “Daddy’s here, what’s the matter?” He kisses his forehead softly. “Why are you crying?”

“Mommy won’t give me my ice cream.” He cries even louder and his father barely understands a word. Finally she gets out of the kitchen and starts picking up the little toys from the floor, “Jay how many times did I tell you, crying will not get you the ice cream.”

And the little toddler’s crying is loud and he starts kicking his legs, Namjoon holds him closer and smothers his tiny faces with kisses. “Shh, it’s okay.”

He turns to shoot a glare at the demon picking up the toys, he actually feels nauseated when she’s around, and ever since he met you, he just can’t look at her, so he forces himself at the second. “Why won’t you give him his ice cream?”

Jay is Namjoon’s only point of weakness, he cannot stand seeing him want something or crave something without getting him whatever he wants, he’d give him the world if  he asked and he’s willing to sacrifice anything for him, that all makes Jay adore his daddy.

“He didn’t finish his bowl of cereal and he even spilled it.” She throws the bag of toys down in the corner of the room, “No ice cream and no toys for the whole day.”

“He’s a baby, playing is all he’s got to do, you can’t just punish him like that.” Namjoon sternly speaks before standing up, still carrying his child.

“But daddy, I was too full and I said sorry.” Jay hugs his daddy tighter while wiping his own tears, “No you’re not going to get anything before you have your breakfast.” She approaches the little one and grabs him, Jay cries loud again and holds onto his father for dear life.

It aches Namjoon’s heart when he sees his child like that, he turns away and uses his palm to gently stop his wife from approaching them again. “Let me deal with this, he’s my child too.” He frowns before he goes to Jay’s bedroom and puts him down on his bed, he kneels down and cups his cheeks. “It’s okay baby, mommy wasn’t wrong, you can’t have your ice cream before breakfast,”

“But the bowl was too big, I’m full.” Jay rubs his eyes, his crying finally coming to an end, but the child is still sad. “Hmm, don’t you wanna be tall and big like daddy?” Namjoon pokes his son’s nose softly, “It’s okay you don’t have to finish your breakfast today, but I’ll tell you a secret,” He even whispers and inches closer to his son, a smile already starting to creep on Jay’s face when he’s enjoying the tiniest interaction with his father.

“We’ll go get you ice cream, but we cannot tell mommy, she’s not invited to our ice cream party.” And Jay looks at his father and it breaks Namjoon’s heart to see his son broken and crying over some stupid ice cream.

“Who were you talking to earlier?” She asks and gain’s his attention, she standing near the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest, he looks at her and wonders for a second when was the last time this woman showered?

He turns to his son’s closet and picks out a pair of sneakers. “Let’s get you dressed.”

“Who were you talking to?” Her voice gets louder and Namjoon doesn’t even flinch, he’s used to her being crazy and asking useless questions, he gets back on his knees and helps his son with his shoes. “Why do you care?” He asks, not looking back at her again.

“Just so you know, your son has been crying the entire morning asking for you, and he didn’t finish eat breakfast because you were too busy being on your phone.” She’s blabbering and even her son ignores her and asks his father. “Can I bring  mister broccoli with me?”

Mister broccoli was a stuffed toy that Namjoon got as a gift for Jay when he took his first flight ever with his father, the little one is extremely attached to this toy specifically and he wouldn’t let any of his cousins touch it.

Namjoon nods eagrly. “Go get him.”

Jay runs back to the living room and Namjoon rolls his eyes before he looks at his wife one last time. “I would appreciate it if you try and not pick an argument in front of him.” He cannot stand this woman.

She scoffs, “At least try and be a good father, try and be there for your son. He cried all night.”

Namjoon hates being called a bad parent, he isn’t. He finds himself gritting on his teeth and his heartbeat pounds faster in his chest. “Oh trust me, I’m a better parent than you are.”

Jay’s presence back in the room that eases Namjoon down immediately, even though he guaranteed divorce, but still he has to contain himself in front of his son, last week’s incident was a tough lesson for him.

“Daddy can I put mister broccoli in the back seat with me? I also want him to wear the seat belt.” Jay’s playful tone makes Namjoon mouth twitch in a smile, he nods and prints small soft kisses all over his son’s face. “I’ll let you put the seat belt for him, deal?”

Namjoon’s been flying nonstop and he’s very tired and he needs to catch some sleep to make it up for the nights he stayed up at work, he’s very exhausted but he can never say no to his son.

He grabs Jay’s tiny hands and leaves the place, leaving the woman behind him fuming. They get down to the car and Namjoon even gives Jay the key to unlock the car, and the little one is staring at his father with heart eyes, he always tried his best to give him anything he wishes for.

Namjoon opens the back door and puts mister broccoli next to the car seat, he teaches his son how to buckle the seat belt and Jay ends up doing it on his own, Namjoon gets this cute aggression around his son that he grabs his face tightly and sucks his cheek into a kiss. He can do it forever.

He finally helps Jay get into his car seat and buckles him up, before they head to their ice cream date.

-

Your shift is finally over by the afternoon, you hand over everything to the team on the next shift and you call a cab home, you were near breaking down and balling your eyes out, nothing major really, you’re just hormonal and tired.

Hoseok was supposed to drive you back home but you instantly regret it when he calls you from the court and says that he needs an hour to be there because something was scheduled urgently today.

You get home and take your clothes off, instant relief when you ditch the fabric off of your skin on a hot summery day, you change into your pajamas and head to the kitchen to turn on the kettle for tea, you don’t usually get that big of an appetite when you’re on your period so food is the last thing you consider making, your doorbell rings and you head to check the cameras, it’s the man you told to come over, the man you’ve been waiting for.

You unlock the door and a warm breeze of air immediately wafts through the entrance carrying the smell of his musky perfume, “Hey, Come in.” You tilt your head inviting him to come on in inside, and the second he steps foot inside your house he inhales, the smell feels nostalgic to him even when he’s been here only once.

Your place has this distinctive smell, it smells clean and fresh, a hint of fruitiness to it, your diffuser is always on so it always smells good, and Namjoon has picked up the hint of the floral scent you spray your furniture with, and also picked up your smell. Your odor is engraved into his head and he can smell it even when it’s layers away or even miles away, he finds it arousing.

He enters the house and hands you a small grocery bag that’s been sitting in his hands. “Are you okay? You look tired.” He steps closer to you and tugs your hair behind your ear.

“I’m fine, what’s that?” You open the bag to check out what’s inside, your heart melts when you see that he actually put in the effort to buy you pain killers, a heating pad and chocolates, even when you already have every item in your household. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” A genuine smile creeps on your face and he smiles back at you before pinching your cheek softly, you inch closer to him and give him a soft peck on his dimple that leaves him blushing, but hardly noticeable though.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He takes off his shoes and you see him walking inside, again even when he’s been here once, he knows this place like the back of his hand, you know that he’s comfortable around you even when the two of you haven’t known each other for long, he feels familiar and he feels close.

You walk into your bedroom and he follows you, he takes a quick scan at your room and he can tell that you’ve been in bed and you’re planning to spend the rest of your day in bed even when he’s here, nothing sexual planned at all though.

“Do you want me to help you with the heating pad?” He’s standing so close behind you that you feel his breath his your neck, you swallow and exhale with a shiver running through your spine, you nod softly and fish out the heating pad from the bag, “On my back please.”

“Okay.” He softly speaks before going down on both of his knees, you grab your top and pull it up for him to have better access, and he opens the wrapper and takes the pad out, he prints the softest kiss on your lower back right by the end of your tatted spine before he sticks the pad onto it and pulls your top back down. “There you go.”

You could swear he kissed your pain away, or it’s probably the endorphin rushing through your entire body when you saw him at your doorstep.

“Make yourself at home, I need to make tea first.” You’re about to turn but his hands sit on your hips, putting a soft amount of pressure, he presses his lips against your shoulder for a little kiss and whispers. “It’s okay, get in bed, I’ll make you tea.” He even kisses the same spot again before heading to the kitchen.

What is he doing to you?

You get to take a quick glance of his back when he’s leaving the room and you feel your face heat up, your hand sits on your cheek and you try to ease your quickening breath, you never felt this way towards anyone and it feels different, your stomach is pinching you and you’re unsure if it’s the cramps or what?

You’re worried for a second, you don’t know if he’s doing this because he wants to, or because he’s trying to get you into bed again? You know he’s in a miserable marriage so he might just do everything because there’s a benefit for him.

You make your way to your bed and you hear his footsteps coming closer and your heart races again at his aura, he enters the room with a cup of tea in one hand, and the box of pain killers in the other one, he approaches your side of the bed and rests the cup onto the nightstand before handing you a pill from the box, you look at him in the face and you tilt your head, his eyes lift up and lock into yours.

For a long moment both of you are studying each other.

You were never able to find out people’s intentions right away, you are very smart and really wit, you sometimes make assumptions that turn out to be true just out of coincidence. But Kim Namjoon was too difficult to read, well at least to you.

Or maybe he is easy to read, but after you found out that he masked his misery and his years long marriage, it became difficult for you to really find out what were his intentions. You appreciate what he’s trying to do, but you don’t know why he’s doing it.

You actually consider introducing him to your friends just because they know how men think and what are their real intentions, Taehyung can easily judge people and he was never wrong.

As for him.

His eyes travel between yours, then move down to your nose and lips, up to the loose strand of your hair that’s tickling your jaw, he feels drawn to you in ways he cannot explain, and if he wants to reflect on the overall situation, he easily admits that he changed after he met you, you changed him, he’s a better version of himself when he’s around you, he’s looking at you and memorizing every single detail on your face, you’re not like her, you’re not like any of them women.

Actually it’s way easier than you think, Namjoon was too easy to read, if you just stop the over thinking for a second and see the way he stares at you, you could easily tell that the man is developing something for you, let’s just call it a crush for the mean time, you don’t know the effect you have on this man.

“Thank you.” You grab the pill into your mouth and chase it with water before pulling the blanket over your body, he stands up and takes his shirt off, after all, it was really warm that day.

And goodness you forgot how big this man is, you immediately look away because you know your body gets way too excited at the thought of Namjoon naked. And you also hate to admit it, but your sex drive is usually on fire on your first day of your period.

“You can sleep if you want to, I’m here if you needed anything.” He walks to the other side of the bed and lies down next to you.

You simply nod, maybe he was right when he told you this morning that this is more than just a hookup.

Minutes later, you close your eyes but you’re not asleep, he probably thinks you are, but you can’t, you open one eye and look at him, he’s lying on his back with one arm behind his head and his phone in the other hand, he’s reading something, clearly a book. His eyelids feel heavy and he puts down the phone on the night stand next to him before he adjusts in bed and falls asleep while hugging a pillow.

And suddenly you feel this flood of emotions wash through your entire body, and you feel bad for the man, a smart good looking sensitive man whose desperate to feel loved and touched after all these years, he’s practically a virgin even when he isn’t.

You huff and hide your face under the blanket, you cannot believe that you actually validate his reasons and give him the right to cheat, you even start thinking that him cheating should be worth it.

He’s a human being with feelings, and you feel like you can offer him some of his needs.

You crawl closer and pull the blanket over his body, you even grab the pillow away from him and hold onto his wrist to and put it around your waist, he’s not in deep sleep yet, so he opens his eyes for a second and processes the fact that you’re going to sleep in his arms, he tightens the grip around and pulls you even closer to him whilst whispering in your ear. “Do you want me to get you anything? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” You bury your face into his neck and both of you fall asleep in a click of a button.

It’s almost like both of you felt safe enough to go into deep sleep when you’re around each other.

You don’t know yet, or maybe you do but won’t admit, but you’re developing something for him too.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || You’re Not Scared Of “Scary” Things

1.7k

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - March 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

SEOKJIN:

For hours you'd been scrolling through your TikTok for you page while waiting for your boyfriend to finish work, unbeknownst to you though he'd finished five minutes ago and had been watching your phone over your shoulder.

"You're watching the horror movie thirst traps?" He questioned, you jumped before almost dropping your phone screaming out a little as you turned around to see your boyfriend. You'd been so emersed in the videos you'd not even noticed him standing behind you,

"What? No...No, that would be silly..." You noticed it wasn't working on him and you whined,

"Yes." You mumbled at him already seeing the knowing look spreading across his face at you.

"You're so...cute," He chuckled. Jin knew that you weren't scared of many things when it came to horror movies and he found it quite adorable that you seemed to have no issues with anything that went on in the movies. Even laughing when you shouldn't have been, he'd found that out when you'd laughed in the cinema when you and the boys went to watch "IT".

"I am?" You felt your body flaming at the thought of it and he sat down beside you, giving your phone back to you and asking you to show him your favourite video.

"Maybe I'll dress up this Halloween," He whispered in your ear, sending shivers up and down your spine as you bit down on your lip.

YOONGI:

"What happened?" You questioned Yoongi who was hiding his eyes in your arm, clutching onto your arm and whimpering whenever something sounded around you. Moments before coming inside Yoongi vowed that he was going to be the one protecting you, to make sure if you were scared he was going to be there for you but it seemed the roles had been reversed.

"I can't," He whined as he jumped and held onto you tighter, you glanced around the hall you were in and headed for the emergency exit. There were a few spotted around in case those who were really scared couldn't continue.

"Is this better?" You questioned when you finally got outside, watching your boyfriend visibly relax and nod his head at you.

"This wasn't the best date idea was it?" He questioned, looking up at you as you ran your fingers through his long hair and shook your head.

"Were you trying to impress me?" Yoongi's cheeks began to turn bright red as you questioned him.

"A little, I wanted to show that you weren't the only one not scared of these things," You whined a little before kissing him softly, 

"Baby, you don't need to try and impress me. I'm already hopelessly in love with you," You reminded him before smiling and taking him to go and get something sugary to eat to hopefully make him feel a little better.

HOSEOK:

No one could watch a horror movie with you without you pointing out everything that was going to happen within the scenes.

"How is he so good at shooting if he's never shot a gun in his life?" You questioned, popping some popcorn into your mouth and rolling your eyes at the screen. Hoseok turned to look at you and shook his head, you did this every time you'd watch a horror movie together.

"Watch, the car that worked perfectly before is now going to randomly stop working." Just as you said the car that the couple were running for didn't work and you smirked to yourself, glancing at Hoseok who was smirking back at you. He found it rather cute that you seemed to know every movie cliche when it came to horror movies, not to mention he found it hot that you rarely get scared by movies.

"You're so hot," He mumbled, kissing you deeply before jumping when a loud clap of thunder sounded from the TV screen making you smirk at him.

"Cliche storm during a haunted house walkthrough." You whispered before Hoseok kissed you again, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him.

NAMJOON:

Every year Namjoon would try and find a way to scare you and every year he would fail. This year he vowed that it was going to be different though, he'd hired a professional costume maker and had asked someone who used to work in horror houses to come and help him out.

"Babe, I got snacks and I thought we...could...Joonie?" Your voice shook ever so slightly when you saw blood on the floor and drag marks leading into the kitchen. 

"Joonie?" You called out again, following the blood on the floor when suddenly the lights went out and a loud smash sounded from the other side of the room. But you didn't even flinch, you looked over at Namjoon who was "dead" on the floor and shook your head,

"You know, if you want to scare me you have to do more than this." You walked over to him, wiping some of the blood from his neck and popping it into your mouth.

"Jam? Really? I thought you were getting better at this with each year-" You barely had time to finish your sentence before letting out a loud scream as you jumped around. Namjoon smirked at you.

"Got you," He chuckled before you turned to look down at the "body" on the floor,

"How the fuck did you get that thing so realistic?" You whined, knocking it to the side to see it was almost identical to Namjoon.

"My secret shall never be told." He chuckled darkly before winking at you and holding you tightly.

JIMIN:

"I don't understand how you find it funny," Jimin whimpered as he turned to look at you. The two of you were watching a classic slasher movie where the main girl ran away a lot and you'd giggled at the fact that she'd tripped up the stairs while running away.

"Because, what did she even trip over? The air?" You questioned, pausing the movie right before the character tripped and showing him that there was nothing around for her to even fall on.

"It's such an overused cliche," You mumbled hitting play again before Jimin narrowed his eyes at you.

"You're like that dude from Scream, the one that points out all of the movie things and doesn't get scared because of it," You looked at him and smirked a little,

"Randy? You're comparing me to Randy?" He nodded his head and you smiled at him. The two of you had watched "Scream" a few months back and you were happy the movie had stayed in his mind.

"Good, because he survived the first movie because he was a smartie." You wink at your boyfriend before snuggling closer to him, going back to the movie and doing your best not to laugh at inappropriate moments during the movie.

TAEHYUNG:

The boys had all separated from the first jump scare but you and Taehyung had stuck side by side throughout it all, mostly because the man was clutching so tightly on your arm that you were worried it was going to drop off.

"Hey! You!" You called out at the guy that had just made Taehyung scream so loud you were afraid he'd burst your ear drum. The guy in the costume tilted his head at you in silence, coming over and dragging his large bloodied bat with him.

"Yes you," You stared at him, drinking in the appearance of his costume. It was extremely well made and you were smiling to yourself while Taehyugn appeared to be looking all around him for the next scare.

"Who made your costume? I wanna get one for Halloween." The man titled his head at you when a chainsaw sounded from behind you, you span around and smiled finding another incredible costume.

"Okay, seriously. Who is your designer? These look incredible, almost realistic!" You cried out seeing the texas chainsaw massacre suit look almost identical to the one in the movie. By now Taehyung's eyes were closed and he was shaking a little while you carefully moved and made your way out of the maze, not even flinching whenever you would have a character jump out in front of you.

"You're insane," Taehyung whined, holding his hand over his chest as he tried to calm himself down. You - however - were looking back into the maze and wondering how you were going to get their costume designer's number for Halloween this year.

JUNGKOOK:

Jungkook always said that he wasn't scared of anything, that never ever bothered him but it couldn't have been further from the truth and you were just now finding that out.

"Are you scared?" You laughed a little noticing him clutching onto the blanket and hiding his face a little whenever a moment in the movie got a little tense and scary. You on the other hand didn't even seem to be bothered by what was happening on the screen, in fact, you were happily eating popcorn while watching your boyfriend since he was far more entertaining than the "horror" movie that was playing on the screen.

"No, I was just pretending." He mumbled, looking at you before yelling out when the speakers let out a loud squeal from the lady on screen. Popcorn flew all over the room since he'd knocked the bowl out of your hand and you bit back a laugh, not everyone was used to the movies you watched and you weren't going to make Jungkook feel bad about it.

"It's okay baby," You moved closer to him, gently wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer to you. You looked back at the screen and began to point out everything that made the movie unrealistic, like how pink the fake blood was, and how you could even see the camera in some of the shots.

"How do you notice all this?" He let out a small relieved chuckle and laid his head on your shoulder, relaxing little by little as you continued to point out the obvious mistakes that had been made.

"I've been watching them too long I guess," You smiled, running your fingers up and down his arms as the two of you continued to watch the movie with your boyfriend slightly less scared than he was before.

Tagline: @millenniumspec​ @chiisaiblog​ @tinyoonsblog​ @sw33tnight​ @taestannie​ @cherrybubblesandvodka​ @army24--7​ @acciocriativity​ @mitzwinchester​ @heyjiminnie​ @halesandy​ @jin-from-the-block​ @aerastus​ @namjooningelsewhere​ @ratherbfangirling​ @psychosupernatural​ @lyoongx​ @periandernyx​ @laylasbunbunny​ @royallyjjk​ @critssq​ @pearlygraysky​ @lenfilms​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @meowmeowisdaname​ @imafivestarkpopstan​

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Be My Mistake

[ jhope x reader] [1.4k smut—warnings: he calls her a bitch once, wrote it as I thought of it and NOT proofread] A second part of Now That We Don't Talk, but can be read as a standalone. This was loosely based on The 1975's Be My Mistake, but by the end I kinda lost the plot.

So don't wait outside my hotel room Just wait 'til I give you a sign 'Cause I get lonesome sometimes

-

You know you’re using him. 

Your current setup, albeit there was an unspoken understanding that this was just a rebound thing for you, it still shouldn’t have gone past hooking up when one or the other wanted to fuck.

A rebound-slash-casual-hook-up shouldn’t have driven an hour to get you your go-to pastry. All you did was mention how you’d probably easily get through the day if you had cream cheese Danish, but because of your packed schedule for the day, you couldn’t squeeze in a quick drive to the bakery.

Hoseok has one of the sexiest voice on the phone, you think. "I didn't know if you preferred Strawberry or Blueberry, so I just got you both."

"You didn't have to." You bite your nails. You know it's a nasty habit and you thought you stopped but Hoseok acting this way has your nerves on edge for some reason that you resorted to chipping at your nails again.

He shouldn't even be here in the first place.

Fuck, what if the paparazzi sees him? On one hand, you want them to snap a photo of Hoseok visiting you on set to get a reaction from Seokjin. Would he be jealous? Or does he no longer care?

Wait. YOU shouldn't care. But you still take a minute to weigh in the pros and cons. Pulling you back to Earth, you hear Hoseok speak again, "I can leave them to your PA or to the security outside the building. I know it's...not you know," he's rambling, "Uh, I just wanted to let you know that you've got food coming your way."

Fuck it.

"No...wait," you already know you're going to regret this, "come up." This is what he does to you. He wins you over by the little things and you're too vulnerable to resist. "The security should let you through. Just give me a minute, I gotta let them know."

If you could hear smiles, you'd go deaf at how loud Hoseok beamed.

"I’m in room 1102."

-

“Fuck Hoseok,” you moan on top of him.

Unsure how to reciprocate his efforts, you thank him in a way you know works best.

Also, what better says 'my heart fluttered at the thought that you remembered my favorite pastry and drove to the other side of the city and back to get me these' without sounding like a confession of affection, than riding him.

The last time you received something that deserved a quick fuck while at work was when Seokjin popped in for a visit to your set after his three-month stay overseas for a film promotion. Months of teasing and thirsting over his photos published on the news, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself when you found him sat inside your hotel room. Plus, you'd like to think he felt the same based on how he made a mess of you twice on his fingers before fucking you with his cock.

“That’s it, baby," Hoseok coaxes you out of your reverie, “ride my dick like the cock-starved bitch you are.”

Willing your mind away from your ex, you push and bounce harder on his cock. And while Hoseok thinks there's no better view than your tits in his face, he missed you too much too soon. He was actually surprised you let him visit you on set and for that he wanted to show you how much it excited him to see you.

The leftover pastries forgotten, Hoseok carries you and sits your ass to the edge of the bed. “Baby, harder,” you whine and Hoseok pulls out until his tip is left inside you then slams himself to the hilt. The intensity getting harder with each thrust. Wet smacks and synced moans reverberates inside your room and for once, you’re glad you were left alone.

You stick your body closer to his, the heat between you two doubling. Hooking your arm and capturing his lips with your own, your tongue takes charge of exploring his mouth as his hands roam around your hips.

"Feel's good, baby," he struggles between grunts and moans. Hands now moving to cup your tits, thumbs toying with your nipples.

Pulling away from his lips for air, you let him know you’re close. “Cum inside me, Hobi.” At this his hips stutter and your eyes meet his stunned ones. “I’m on the pill,” you assure him, your fingers smooth over his back until it reaches his ass and you push him deeper into you.

He groans as he slips out his cock to take off the condom then slams back into you. Your breath falters as your orgasm continues to creep in. Feeling your cunt pulsating, Hoseok slips his hand and uses his fingers to rub your clit, and at this, you come undone first.

You could only whimper at how sore you've already gotten and Hoseok continues to thrust erratically, “Fuck, I’m almost there, baby." He takes your hand and tangles them in his hair, you get what he wants. Body shaking from his thrusts, you pull on his hair exposing his neck and you claim him—lips working on leaving your mark and you never stop even after he cums.

-

You know you're hurting him.

Come pick me up pls, your text reads.

Fifteen minutes later, Hoseok’s guiding you inside his car, all while making sure no paps are around.

You’ve berated him before when you both made headline, the tabloids dubbing him as your new man. Thankfully, your PR team and his were able to twist the narrative.

“I don’t see the big deal, Y/N,” Hoseok reasoned then, "Would this be so bad? And you know the more we try to do something about it, the more they'll dig around."

“I just don’t want people to misunderstand.”

“And by people, you mean Seokjin?"

A minute passes. Eyes evading his, because you knew. You knew he was waiting for you to assure him that it wasn’t about Seokjin. You sigh but Hoseok was the one left defeated.

Fuck, he thinks it hurts less if you say you just didn’t want to be linked to him than silently admit you were still worried about your ex.

Hoseok thinks he only has himself to blame. He knew you were using him to get a reaction from Seokjin and that you wanted your ex to know that if he wanted to get back together, it was still possible. But even if that stings him, he finds comfort in the nightly rendezvous you share. Stupidly thinks that you finally allowing him to visit you at work is progress; that he's getting through to you and it's a chance for him to show his long-held adoration for you.

Now he knows he's wrong.

"If you wanted to drink you should have just called me earlier. You're crashing at my place again anyway," he sighs, "I could've saved a trip."

You scoff, "Relax. I'll venmo you gas money."

"Not what I meant, Y/N," Hoseok's eyes now darting between you and the red light, your slumped state worries him. "I can't keep picking you up either. I had plans with my friends tonight." With Hoseok admonishing you, you're growing infuriated by the second.

If you were a bit sober, you would know that this anger you feel is misplaced. Yes, you're annoyed that he's scolding you like a child, but more than that you're already on the edge tonight from seeing Seokjin with someone else. From then, you were a ticking timebomb and Hoseok just happens to be around when you're finally blowing up.

"Don't worry, Seok. Tomorrow I'll call my other fuck buddy to pick me up," you hiccup. "You were just the first one who picked up so here I am, I thought you'd be glad actually. I'll put out," you tease, attempting to find humor in the situation.

But Hoseok finds none of this amusing or arousing. He's still stuck on your 'other' fuck buddy. Sure, it's not like you guys are exclusive, but he also had no reason to think you're fucking other guys.

Were you really? Was he just another guy to you?

He parks but he can't seem to move. He sees your phone fall from your lap as you get off the car, the sound of something cracking and he thinks that what he heard was actually the sound of his heart breaking.

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Hoseok is not even my bias but everytime I read dom!Hoseok... it just does it ™️ for me

Anonymous said: DOM HOSEOK.. there is no more to tell. He is just.. so.. enchanting and his presence can make you drop on your knees in seconds.

Anyone doubting (idk if that's even possible) writing Hoseok as a dom just needs to watch his Rainism fancam, he would have anyone on the floor within 3 seconds

____

Glad to see the thirst for dom!Hoseok is alive and well. He really is the greatest of men. 

[littlemessyjessi]

Filth, you say? 👀 Might I then raise you these theories in regards to the Bangtan boys: Yoongi and Jin are the best at giving head. Tongue technology and lips from the gods, can't beat it. Jin's more of the "everything is hot all over and he's eating you like you're ambrosia, feels like you're floating and why don't we do this all the time always??" type, whereas Yoongi is the "holyshitwhatthefuck, grabbing at the sheets, it's too much and not enough and oh-oh-OH" type. Jin is the one to call you princess and help you fall apart, and Yoongi is the one to call you 'kitty' or 'kitten' and edge you till you cry only to make you explode. Taehyung would stretch you open with his fingers until your head spins. I don't think I need to explain that one, but: long fingers and a master at picking up micro-signals. Knows exactly where all the proper androgynous zones are and finds them almost immediately. Boy needs to make sure you're ready to take him and is convinced it'll help with his breeding kink further activities later. And speaking of Tae, he and Namjoon are definitely the most, ahem, naturally well endowed. Tae's aware of it and a little smug, Namjoon is absolutely oblivious to how big it *actually* is. Like, he's aware that he's proportionate but he cannot wrap his head around how that means that he's *huge* to the layperson. But once he's aware, get ready for the "Shhh. I know, baby, I know. Just a little more." Yeeeeesh. Jimin, despite arguably being on the lower end of the size spectrum (which I say with love because HELLO, bias) is definitely the champion in terms of technique in the sack. Man is *versatile* and to get you to the moon and back in any position, unquestionably. Definitely one of those "if you haven't cum at least four times, I haven't done my job" types. Will praise and wants to BE praised until the end of time. 10/10 dirty talk that could have you finishing without even being touched. And Jungkook, sweet bunny, has the most stamina out of all of the boys for obvious reasons. Definitely can get you at least twice before sorting himself out once. Any position you have ever fantasized about is possible because he can hold or support anyone in *any* way. Standing? Against the wall? You quite literally upside down? Just say the word, he's got you.

Hoseok, meanwhile? That man will blindside you with how good and how thorough he is. That man can learn choreography in ten minutes; do you really think he won't have your body down to a science in no time flat? His hips were enchanted by an incubus and I will not be convinced otherwise. They'll be snapping into you until you see stars and then those freaking *hands* will get to work. You're going to need to stretch to keep up with him. *ahem* Anyway, I'll step off the soapbox now, haha. 💜

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Well, i-

I mean, well, i...

Like oh got damn!

So first of all, with that Jin and Yoongi.

Like, you tryin to kill me?!

And then Taehyung on his bullshit?

And Joon with his naturally stud like self?

Like, boo, imma gonna die.

And jimin.... like my GAWD!

And Jungkookie?! Like, i-i-i.....!!!!!!

Thank you for that delicious meal!!!!

NOW.... let the mother of beasts feed you.

Let's start with Seokjin.

That mf likes choking? You have no idea. He will gag himself to the point of tears on the strap and then beg you to absolutely destroy him.

🖤

Yoongi? Oh he will bring you to tears alright. He will edge as the day as long.... and loves/hates when you strap him to a chair and edge him with a handjob from heaven until he is actually crying.

🧡

Hoseok may be a quick learner but take away his senses and he is putty in your hands. Gag him, put headphones on him, blind fold him, let the only thing he has be whatever physical touch you give him and the scent arousal in the air. He will fucking explode.

💚

Namjoon might be oblivious to his hotness but once he's aware of how hot you find him it's on. He went hesistate to spit in your mouth or have you lick the sweat from his body. Y'all get nasty.

💛

Jimin may be sweet but he's also switchy and I fully believe he'd be the one to go primal. He'd hunt you down like a lithe leopard in the jungle and pin you to the bed. I know he has the voice of an angel but you look up his growls and his morning voice. Even better .... satoori. Just saying.

💜

Taehyung

Let's touch on that breeding kink shall we? When I say pinned to the bed, I mean pinned to the bed. He is glued to you and cockwarming is definitely a thing with him.

🖤

Oh Kookie. Let me just put this simply. Feeder. Yes, yes and yes. And body worship. Both into giving and receiving. If you think for one second that you downing that entire pizza and laying there with the soft tum out in need of rubs isnt going to illicit a reaction from him? Biiiiish you got another thing coming. He'll be on you like a mosquito on a naked leg in Louisiana in June.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Has your mother fed you well, my darling?

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Hey loves! Thanks for checking out my work! I hope you enjoyed it! If you did please be sure to let me know in the comments! I love hearing from you! It makes my day to know what you think!

If you want to read more of my work, check out the Navi link in my bio! All of my kpop content is on Masterlist 2.0! Happy reading!

Love, K

@thickemadame ​ @blackirisposts @therealmrshale   @thegreatirene @angelus320   @disneymarina @sullybot   @alisoncdariel @amethyst09   @kalliravenne   @gruffle1 @leah-halliwell92    @queenlexusloverofbts @owenniasstars   @adventuresofnight   @halobaby @tacobacoyeet @glassesandthunderthighs   @poopypantsmcgee666-blog @teenagesublimefan @lyn-g @milkshakelol @sunnysidesblog @speedyhandsbonkpalace @mwitsmejk @pinkcherrybombs @abc-abc1234-a

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Would you rather be handcuffed by hobi or blindfolded by namjoon And feel free to elaborate on your answer😉

Tough one!!! I want to have my hands free to be able to touch them, but saying that I think I pick being handcuffed by Hobi because shittt just imagine the things he would do to you omg. Hmmmm guess I will elaborate...😏

Imagine he has you laying on the bed naked, legs open, hands cuffed to the beds railings, while he kneels between your legs in just his underwear, his hard bulge evident. He has a vibrator in his right hand which he places on your clit, holding it there to make you wriggle and writhe in pleasure, the handcuffs clinking against the bed rails as you try to touch him - much to his satisfaction. He leans over you, still holding the vibrator in place, putting his mouth on your neck, sucking and biting, hitting the sensitive spot beneath your ear as you moan, desperately thrusting upwards, needing something to fill your wet pussy. He makes his way down your body, his left hand gripping your breast while his tongue flicks over your other one. He licks and kisses his way down your stomach as his left hand moves down to your thigh to keep your legs open. By this point you are soaked and incredibly desperate for him to touch you down there. Keeping the vibrator on your clit, he inserts two fingers into you and starts to finger fuck you while telling you what a needy little slut you are for him, so wet and whiny. He makes you cum twice like this, loving the moans coming out of your mouth, but he also sees the tears streaming down your face as you beg him to fuck you already. So he takes mercy and throws the vibrator to the side, takes his fingers out of you, leaving you feeling empty and exposed as you immediately start to close your legs. He stops you, keeping your legs spread around him as he takes his hard cock out, gives himself a few pumps and slowly inserts himself, leaning down to give you some gentle kisses, telling you how good you’ve been for him before sitting back up onto his knees, holding onto your hips, and starting to pound into your already sore cunt, growling and grunting as he slides in and out of you easily due to your dripping juices from before, he rubs your clit with his thumb, making you cum once more time around him as he finishes inside you, leaving you feeling exhausted but satisfied. he uncuffs your hands and lays on your chest for a few minutes, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead as you wrap your arms around him and kiss the top of his head. After that you shower together - completely innocently, with lots of softness and care. 🥰

[delugguk]

Send me your thirstiest thoughts towards any bts member and I might thirst with you or write something about it 👀👀 I want to try this !!!!

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Repeats (Part 1.5)

A/n: b plot, you can skip but it may or may not be fire

Part 2: im just fine

[bangtanandcream]

안녕하세요!

Thirst hours will always be open here 🙃

[flytomyyoonn]

I need air 🥵

Damn Hobi

[back2bluesidex]

I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader

Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension

Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.

Word count: 5,655

a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.

Read Prologue for context

Next Chapter

------------------

"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.

This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.

She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.

Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.

I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.

"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.

------------

Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.

It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.

The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.

Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.

"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.

While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.

And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.

-----------------

Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.

I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.

I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.

"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.

"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.

--------------

It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.

"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.

I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.

For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.

It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.

That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.

--------------

A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.

"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.

--------------

Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.

That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.

a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love extras.

#2 Seokjin leaves

kim seokjin x f reader includes; allusions to a panic attack words; 1,386

⟶ read after chapter 2

series index | drabble masterlist

Seokjin’s legs didn’t feel attached to his body as he walked out of the room. They moved slowly, woodenly. In fact, nothing felt attached to anything. 

I’m pregnant. 

Your voice had been quiet when you’d told him mere moments ago, but the words were so loud in his head now. The bright lights inside the corridor made his eyes hurt. The white walls making him feel almost claustrophobic. 

You’re the father. 

Impossible. 

You’d used protection. Even when you’d decided to skip the condom, you were on the pill. He was no idiot, he knew that the contraceptive pill wasn’t 100% effective, no form of contraception was, but the chance of getting pregnant was miniscule, surely? Unless…. No, he hated himself for even beginning to think such a thing. Why would you have any reason to lie about that? He was positive having a stranger’s baby wasn’t a dream scenario for any woman. 

You’d cried before you told him, if that wasn’t evidence enough. 

With that thought, he felt his heartrate pick up. This couldn’t be happening. Just a few hours ago, he’d been practically euphoric after bumping into you. How often had he imagined such a scenario? In the month since That Night, which absolutely needed to be capitalised, he had visited Begin twice, in hopes of seeing you again. He would never admit it out loud, he hadn’t even told Hoseok or Jungkook about it because he knew it wasn’t appropriate. It was just the more he tried to stop thinking about you, the harder it got. He’d jumped at the chance of inviting you to dinner this evening, but now your behaviour made complete sense. 

I’ve known for a week. 

You’d been trying to find him since then. Trying to find a way to let him know you were pregnant. It had been no coincidence that you were in the café opposite his building. He’d told you where he worked. Shit, something came to him then. What if you’d found out who he was? Not that being the owner of AGS needed to be a secret, he just hadn’t wanted to tell you at the bar in case you thought he was bragging. Now it looked like he was purposefully keeping it from you. 

A few hours ago, everything had been simpler. Even when he thought it wasn’t. When you’d seemed to be having a terrible time at dinner. When you’d looked unwell. When you’d fainted on him. When he’d taken you to hospital. When he’d worriedly waited to see if everything was okay. 

Now, he understood. Now he knew the truth. 

In all the scenarios he’d conjured up while procrastinating at the office or trying to fall asleep at night, this hadn’t been one of them. An unplanned pregnancy had never been a part of his daydreaming. He guessed you both had that in common. 

Somehow, he found himself opposite a water cooler. He’d told you he needed some water, and that had been the truth – his mouth was extremely dry with the shock – but he hadn’t really been paying attention as he’d wondered the hospital corridors. He grabbed a paper cup, noticing his hand was shaking, and filled it to the top quickly. He downed it in one, then promptly filled it again and gulped like a man dying of thirst. The tremble in his hand made him spill a little down his chin and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. 

“Are you all right, dear?” 

The voice of an elderly woman made him jump, and he turned around to face her. 

“Yes. I’m fine,” he responded politely, forcing a smile on his face. 

She didn’t look too convinced, but with a small smile of her own, she trailed away. With a sigh, he rubbed a hand over his face, disposing of the paper cup in the recycling bin next to the cooler. He picked up another one for you. 

To that old woman, he probably looked like someone who had received some terrible news, not something as elating as finding out he was going to be a father. Was he a terrible person for reacting like this? Some people tried so hard to have children, some found out they couldn’t at all. Hell, even his brother and wife had struggled to conceive their first child. And here it had happened for him so incredibly easily. By chance. Without thought.

He could hear Jungkook’s voice as strong as if he was stood next to him: Strong sperm. 

A short, rough chuckle escaped from his throat. What the hell was wrong with him? Laughing at a time like this. He felt a little hysteric if truth be told. This entire night felt so surreal he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

He’d gotten you pregnant. He’d gotten a one-night stand pregnant. A one-night stand that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since. A one-night stand he’d wanted to pursue things with. This was such a fucking mess. What would his mom say? What would his friends say? What would his employers say?—no, think, because they would never say anything to his face. 

Then, he felt ashamed. It wasn’t just about him. It was about you. You were the one pregnant. You were the one who had to carry a stranger’s baby. No wonder you’d been so upset. He’d very obviously fucked up your life. He needed to get back and talk with you. He needed to show you he was there for you. He needed to reassure you in all the right ways. But…what were they exactly? His head was all over the place, he couldn’t think straight. 

His heart started to race again, only this time he couldn’t seem to control it. He tried to take steadying breaths as he filled your cup, but if anything that only seemed to escalate it—this…this feeling. Why did he feel so panicked? This wasn’t the end of the world – actually, it was far from it. Rationally speaking. But being rational was the last thing on his mind right now. 

Feeling a cold sensation against his fingers, he realised the cup was overflowing, and he jerked back, rubbing his hand on the side of his pants. He stared at the water brimming over the edge of the cup and got hit with a sinking realisation. If he couldn’t even manage to complete a task as simple as getting you something to drink, how would he ever be able to be a father to your baby—his baby. 

In the blink of an eye, he turned and started walking. It was in the opposite direction of your room, he knew that somewhere in the back of his mind, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop until he was outside, the chilly night air doing nothing to calm him down. But still, he gulped some air into his lungs. Thankfully, after a few moments the pounding inside his chest eased a little. 

However, he didn’t go back inside. Instead, he found himself dashing to his car. The familiar scent inside did little to soothe him as he sat behind the wheel, slamming the door shut. He couldn’t escape from this feeling. He looked up at the hospital, hesitating as his fingers trembled over the key fob. If he left now, he was certain that would be it. There would be no way back. No way to redeem himself. If he left you right now, you’d never forgive him. You’d never let him in. He’d never get to be a dad. 

A dad. 

He wanted to be one, of course he did. But in every way he’d imagined over the years, it had never been like this. 

He started up the car, breathing heavily. He didn’t know what would be worse. To run away and imagine your reaction. To know how much he’d let you down. Or to go back inside and witness first-hand the mess he’d caused and was going to continue to cause. 

Either way he was going to fuck everything up. 

For maybe the first time in his life, he felt as though everything was out of control, and he hated it. He hated it so much. 

So he took the coward’s way out. 

He ran away. 

Written 2022. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2022

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Imagine being the person who sits on hoseok's dick 🤧 I would feel so powerful

Anonymous said: Hobi is not my bias, but he absolutely, undoubtedly, unequivocally is the best fuck. The things that I would let that man do...

______

I’m just going to have to group all you thirsty hoseok hoes together...

Whoever he is fucking or fucks in the future, they are the lucky ones. 

[cinnaminsvga]

a love that endures | Yoongi

→ summary: 

“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”

“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”

“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look who’s coming over to say hello!”

{or alternatively: Yoongi and Y/N. Y/N and Yoongi. High school sweethearts that were never meant to last, until a reunion ten years later manages to reignite a flame that never quite burnt out.} 

→ genre: high school reunion!au, exes to lovers, fluff, humor, minor angst → warnings: shy!yoongi and shy!oc live rent free in my brain, mutual pining is poggers, hoseok and seokjin aren’t evil for once in a cinnaminsvga fic, implied smut so it’s pg-13 because i’m a wimp → words: 14.4K → a/n: SHE’S ALIVE!! this is dedicated to @himbeaux-joon​ who commissioned this piece ages ago. thank you again for requesting this because this was honestly so much fun to write. i’ve been in a bit of writing slump these past few weeks but this fic came out so easily and got way longer than expected (perhaps because it’s about yoongi and he’s always been the easiest one to write for me). enjoy!! ;o;

The mere sight of him is enough to knock the wind out of you.

Your body freezes, the hand curled around your paper cup filled with punch tightening ever so slightly. It isn’t like you’re surprised that he came; you aren’t supposed to be. Of course, you should have expected his arrival, but you’ve been hoping all night that he might have been too busy to attend.

He isn’t even on time—it has almost been two hours since the event started and you had been filled with a false hope that perhaps he had RSVP’d and decided he couldn’t make it. 

You had seen Hoseok, his best friend from your younger days, standing outside the entrance of the ballroom before they had started letting people in. The moment Hoseok saw you, he immediately came over to sweep you into a tight hug, his infectious laughter ringing in your ears. He had greeted you happily, expressing how much he missed you since high school, but never once bringing up the elephant in the room.

It wasn’t like you were going to bring him up first. No, that would be weird on your part. Nevermind the fact that going to high school reunions was a recipe for reliving past traumas and seeing all your childhood friends either married or pregnant—you weren’t going to be that person who asked where their ex was. You refused to be the person craning their neck to spy on the entrance every two minutes, hoping to catch sight of an old familiar face.

The problem is that you are that person, and you kind of hate yourself for it. However, it is also the reason why you are probably the only person in the entire ballroom who notices his quiet arrival.

He has never liked causing commotions, which is often apparent from the way he conducts himself. He walks into the room just as a loud round of applause breaks out; an old schoolmate of yours is walking up to the podium, probably the person who had arranged the get-together in the first place. It is a perfect distraction for him as he slinks past the door, keeping near the wall so as not to be seen by anyone just yet.

(Except he has been seen—he just doesn’t know it yet.)

You do not know for how long you stare at him, just that it takes you a moment to realize you haven’t taken a breath since he stepped foot into the same space as you. You take a deep, shuddering breath, forcing your racing heartbeat to calm down. You swallow thickly, throat so unbearably dry that even drinking from your lukewarm cup of punch doesn’t seem to do anything.

But the undeniable truth is there, standing only a few meters away from you, and nothing on earth will be able to wash away the nerves flooding through your system.

After ten years of radio silence, Min Yoongi is in your orbit once again.

In the grand scheme of things, ten years wasn’t all that long. Four years in university had passed by in a blur, and the absolute chaos that ensued right after you graduated as you scrambled to secure a job and move out of your hometown had made the days seem shorter than they actually were. You had not even noticed that time was passing until you found that cream envelope waiting for you one day after work, your alma mater’s school crest painfully recognizable even after all these years.

During all that time, the world around you shifted without you noticing, and that meant people were changing too.

Yoongi is 28 now. And so are you, after many months of denial. You have not seen each other since you were both 18—both of you far too young to know about any of the things you would experience in the next ten years.

He might have grown a little taller since then, something you are sure that your brother will find amusing. His hair isn’t dyed like you remembered, as he has opted to keep it his natural dark black that you have not seen since you were both in middle school. It’s styled differently too: combed over and gelled back, with his bangs pushed back and his forehead exposed. When he turns his head to the side, a gasp spills past your lips before you can stop it.

“Is that a fucking undercut?” you mutter in shock, your eyes straining out of their sockets as you try to drink him in. Even under the dim lighting of the ballroom, his new haircut is hard to miss. No one else seems to be undergoing the same mental collapse as you, judging by how everyone’s attention is still fixated on the person speaking at the podium. How the hell is no one else losing their fucking minds to the sight of Min Yoongi with a fucking undercut? Some questions are impossible to answer, you surmise.

When you decided to attend the reunion, you had not once thought about how Yoongi would look like. Somehow, you had developed this stagnant picture of him in your head, even after all these years. To you, he will always be the boy with the stark blonde hair, the mismatched eyelids, the pouty lips, the dumpling cheeks. He is the boy who can’t wear his own contact lenses to save his life, the boy who sometimes wears his favorite leather jacket to sleep, the boy who only drinks Americanos like it was water.

Gone are those days, you realize. That image of him has been smashed to pieces, instead replaced by this dashing (and incredibly hot) man—a stranger. A stranger with unbleached (and healthy) hair, a jawline sharp enough to cut glass. He has his glasses kept away, and there is no leather jacket in sight.

But you can see him, if you look hard enough. The same spark in his eye, the same curve of his lips. You catch him smiling for a second, and his cheeks still puff up like dough. Maybe it’s just hopeless thinking, but you see him. It’s still him. To you, he will always be your 18-year-old Min Yoongi, the one who would greet you with a sweet kiss on the forehead every time you would—

Raucous applause breaks you from your train of thought, and you blink rapidly in surprise. You have to forcibly pull yourself out of your Yoongi-induced trance, clapping alongside everyone without really knowing what was going on. All of the extra noise sounds like buzzing in your ears, especially when it is drowned out by the roar of your blood rushing to your head all at once.

“Once again, I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. We will begin the program right after dinner, so please feel free to help yourselves to the buffet! Cheers everyone!” You faintly hear your old schoolmate speak, before her voice is quickly overrun by the commotion of people walking over to the extravagant display of food. It takes a moment for the crowd of heads to disperse, so when you can finally look back to where you last saw Yoongi, he is no longer alone.

Hoseok has his arm slung around Yoongi, his infectious laughter loud enough to be heard over clinking plates and silverware. The two are as different as night and day, with Hoseok practically bouncing from excitement and Yoongi rolling his eyes from annoyance. But it is easy to see that his pout is nothing but a ruse; you can already catch the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.

You feel your own seams breaking, unwittingly sporting a grin of your own. It is nice to know that Yoongi hasn’t been alone all this time, that he still seems close with his old best friend. You cannot count the number of friendships that you have lost over time, and you still grieve many of them during your quiet moments. Alas, it was often never even anyone’s fault, the strains of adulthood often being the biggest deal breakers in your relationships.

That is, of course, except for one.

“Enjoying yourself? I didn’t think we’d share the same voyeuristic tendencies,” says a voice, creeping up behind you. Now, normal people would not usually expect other sane people to invade your personal space and breathe directly into your ear, but that’s just your humble opinion. What you do know is that one certain individual enjoys breaking the mold when it comes to societal norms, and it is none other than…

“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shriek, nearly sucker-punching the offending degenerate in the face. You hold back your fist from connecting with his face, but your resulting irritation remains. Whether that irritation is because you regret holding back or not will unfortunately also have to remain unanswered. “Oh God, it’s you.”

“Oh, no need for that. Most people usually call me Seokjin,” he snickers, thoroughly enjoying your flushed face. Kim Seokjin pats you on the shoulder, his trademark “pretty boy” smile still as radiant as you remembered. It does nothing to quell your urge to raise your fists again, however. “Hello, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here!”

“The feeling is not mutual,” you snort. Much like how Yoongi was with Hoseok, your derision is nothing but a rouse. As much as you want to kick Seokjin in the nuts, you also cannot ignore how much you want to hug him the slimy bastard—but you definitely will not be the first one to admit it. So like the tsundere that you are, you decide to insult him instead. “Why are you here? You’re not even from this class. Don’t you have other things to do? Or rather, people to do?”

“My heart! You wound me,” he gasps, grasping his chest as though he’d been shot. “How could you say that to your best friend in the entire world? Don’t you know how much I missed you?”

“Easy. I do it because the only other alternative would lead me straight to prison,” you shrug, but your grin betrays you.

This time, you don’t jolt away when he closes in for a hug. “And I guess I miss you too,” you say, your words slightly muffled into his chest. Like always, he sees through your prickly act because as much as you like to pretend, Kim Seokjin is kind of amazing—loose bolts and all.

“It’s nice to know that your tongue hasn’t lost its edge, though I suppose I wouldn’t be intimately knowledgeable in that area. After all, I still am very much a raging homosexual and pussy isn’t really my forte,” Seokjin guffaws, his volume causing a few nearby guests to raise their heads in alarm.

You bow at them, sheepishly apologizing on his behalf before grabbing him by the collar.

“Will you stop being embarrassing for just one second? I swear, I thought I retired from my babysitting job when I graduated high school,” you hiss, but the way his mouth curls up with mischief is answer enough. God, you missed this son of a bitch.

“Unfortunately for you, being a pest is part of my DNA,” he smirks, carefully plucking your hands off from his neck, as though your nails were not mere inches away from ripping his trachea into pieces. “Though, I am offended by your assumption that I am still the same slut that you knew. I’ve grown up a little, you know! I’m a changed man!”

“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you of all people have settled down,” you laugh, not missing the way Seokjin’s perfectly stenciled brow raises slightly.

“I know we haven’t seen each other since Christmas, but come on Y/N! You of all people should be applauding me for my improved behavior! You must have noticed how much I changed when I visited.”

“When you visited me last Christmas, you immediately insulted my taste in kitchen towels, went on Grindr to find a hookup despite my numerous pleas, and promptly desecrated my guest bedroom that no housekeeper or priest is willing to exorcise to this day,” you gag, shuddering at the memory. “And then you ate all my ice cream and proceeded to clog my toilet!”

“Um? Aren’t you forgetting that I also bought you that dress you wanted? Rude,” Seokjin retorts, not the least bit remorseful. “Well, that’s what you get for agreeing to be my best bitch for life. You know that I take pinky promises very seriously.”

Unfortunately, he does take his promises seriously. It is probably the only thing he’ll ever be serious about, as much as the man enjoys parading his depravity. “Okay, whatever. I’ll bite. Who’s the unlucky man you’ve managed to deceive into a relationship?”

“Oh, it’s someone we both used to know. I’m his plus one for tonight,” he says, supplying you with the most useless non-answer imaginable.

“Seokjin. We’re at a high school reunion. We know everyone here. That could be anyone!” you exclaim.

“Well, isn’t that fun? Then we can do a scavenger hunt!” Seokjin grins, clapping his hands together excitedly. He pulls you in front of him, forcing the two of you to survey the crowd. “Okay, hold your arm out like this—” After a few seconds of you failing to resist him, he manages to get you to unfurl your finger as if you were about to order something from the dollar menu at McDonalds. Unfortunately for you, the tall twink is stronger than he appears. “—and just keep pointing around until I tell you that you’re getting warmer!”

“Seokjin, I don’t think this is very—” you start, but Seokjin is already moving your arm for you. Like a hurricane, Kim Seokjin listens to no one but his own homewrecking whims.

“Park Chanyeol? Close, but not really. You should know that I don’t double dip with past flings,” he says, shifting you to the left. “Kim Namjoon? Now that’s a hunk of meat that I wish I’d taken a bite of, but unfortunately he’s as straight as a ruler. Pass,” he hums, continuing to move you bit by bit.

You’re both getting uncomfortably close to where Yoongi is, and Seokjin doesn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. You did notice that Yoongi had come dateless to the reunion (a fact, by the way, that you did not rejoice over when you had noticed), but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s single. You have known Seokjin for more than a decade at this point, and despite your odd friendship, you are sure that he would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

Though, that does beg the question… How far does his dick thirst really go? Maybe you’ll finally find out today.

“Warmer, getting warmer…” Seokjin inches you closer and closer to where Yoongi is standing. You feel frozen in his grasp, unsure if you wanted to know anymore. If Seokjin really is dating Yoongi, then what? It’s not like you were dating him anyway… What difference does it make if it’s Seokjin?

(It makes all the difference, but you refuse to think about it.)

“Nope, not Wonho... A little bit to the left… Bingo!” Seokjin declares, stopping your finger right on— “No, Y/N! Stop moving! You’ve gone too far to the wall! I was pointing at him.”

“H-Hoseok? You’re dating Hoseok?!” You squeak, an avalanche of relief flooding through you. You don’t even have the energy to pretend to be composed as your entire body starts untensing involuntarily, your shoulders slumping as though a weight has been lifted from you. “Why couldn’t you have just told me like a normal person? Why must everything be tortuous and dramatic when it comes to you?”

“I am a naturally insufferable and theatrical person. Sue me,” he shrugs, greatly enjoying the exhausted look on your face. “What? Were you actually scared that I was dating your sloppy seconds? What do you think I am? An asshole?”

You stare at him. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

Seokjin scoffs. “If I wanted to get roasted, I would approach two tops at a gay bar.” He pauses. “Wait, are you seriously not going to congratulate me for finally snagging a boy who has a functioning moral compass?”

“Define ‘snagging.’ Did you, like, tie him up and blackmail him to become your boyfriend like those terrible One Direction Wattpad fanfics, or—” You stop halfway, giggling at your friend’s unamused pout. “Okay, okay. Yes, Seokjin. I am very proud of you. Congrats on finally becoming an adult. Your hoe days are over.”

“Who said they were over?” He snorts. Noticing your alarm, Seokjin rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Oh, don’t give me that look! I’m not into infidelity and you know that. I just meant that I’m still a hoe with significantly fewer options.”

“How did that even happen in the first place?” you say, jabbing your thumb in Hoseok’s direction. Thankfully, the man in question is still busy talking to Yoongi, though you don’t know for how much longer. If Seokjin isn’t lying, then there’s a high chance they’re going to walk over to say hi and you’re not sure if you’re mentally prepared to go through the five stages of grief all over again.

“Believe me, I’m surprised as well. I started dating Hoseok after he asked me for help with his sister’s wedding gift. He asked me to help arrange an itinerary for her sister’s honeymoon in America,” Seokjin explains with a dreamy smile. He sighs, holding a hand up to his chest. You can physically see the heart emojis circling his head like a halo. “We hit it off from there and dare I say… Not only is he the only person who can keep up with my high maintenance lifestyle, but dear Lord, he could totally be recruited into the NDA for his astounding dick game—”

“Ever heard of TMI? Gross,” you interrupt, your face crumpling in disgust. You shove him away when his loud cackles start rattling your eardrums.

“You were scared though, right?” he says through his giggles. “When you thought that I was dating Yoongi?”

Of course Seokjin had noticed your mini-mental breakdown, judging from the shit-eating grin on his face.

“N-no,” you stutter, but your heated cheeks and averted gaze give you away. “E-either way, I wouldn’t have cared if you did!” you say. You know, like a liar.

“I bet you don’t care that Yoongi got significantly hotter in the past ten years too, huh?” Seokjin teases, snickering loudly. Under the harsh lighting of the fluorescent chandelier lights, you might have mistaken the boy in front of you for the devil instead of your best friend of almost twenty years.

“I sincerely rue the day I introduced myself to you in the third grade,” you hiss, sipping from your cup to hide your humiliation.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re all embarrassed,” Seokjin coos, pinching your cheeks with the gentleness of an ape. You slap his hand away, unable to think of any retort.

“Cat got your tongue? You didn’t even deny it when I accused you,” Seokjin laughs. He claps his hands jovially, acting as though he’s enjoying a show at the circus. Given your performance tonight, that statement isn’t all that far from reality.

“I don’t need to defend myself from you,” you say, puffing your cheeks indignantly. “I just… think he looks handsome. Is that illegal or something?”

“Certainly not. Though, you might want to dial down the pining a teensy bit,” he singsongs. “That’s how I found you in the first place. I sensed your pining from a mile away and came as soon as I could!”

“I wasn’t pining!” you exclaim. “I was just… admiring the plant beside him.”

“Right, sure,” Seokjin says, arching an eyebrow in challenge. You feel your hackles rising at his smug expression, your ‘Seokjin-is-about-to-ruin-your-life’ alarm ringing in your ears. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I brought you over there to say hello? After all, my boyfriend is over there and as much as I enjoy pestering you, I also want to be with him very much.”

You whistle lowly, impressed. “Wow, that’s actually kind of sweet of you.”

“Yes, I know. Kim Seokjin’s heart grew three sizes that day, yada yada yada.” Seokjin says sarcastically, but his lovesick smile ruins the effect. When he opens his mouth once more, the mirage instantly disappears. “But you would understand if you saw how much he’s packing—”

“Shut up, I didn’t ask—”

“Fine, then let’s ask the man himself! Besides, you know you’re being ridiculous, right?” Seokjin tuts, annoyed. He fixes you with a glare, making you feel like a scolded child. “It’s just Yoongi. You and I both know he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and probably would love to see you after so long.”

You wave your hands around helplessly, almost sloshing your drink onto a nearby bystander. After muttering a meek apology at your harried classmate, you turn back to Seokjin with a defeated sigh.

You know that he’s right, and you absolutely hate him for it. “Jinnie, I’m a mess! I can hardly think with Yoongi standing meters away from me, much less if he were to stand right in front of me! I’m just going to embarrass myself,” you lament, holding your head in your hand.

“That’s true. You will definitely embarrass yourself,” Seokjin hums, nodding sagely. He shrugs his shoulders. “All the more reason we should do it. Relax, I’ll be your wingman like old times! All we have to do is remind him of all the fantastic, mind-blowing coitus you had in your youth and he’ll be a goner for sure.”

“If by goner, you mean he’ll be gone from my life permanently this time, then you’re right,” you groan. You have a half a mind to dump the remainder of your disgusting punch all over his expensive Bottega Veneta coat, though you also don’t want to spend the next three months receiving packaged turds from Seokjin in your mailbox. “Please, just let me suffer in silence for the remainder of the night, okay? Is that really too much to ask?”

“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”

“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”

“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look of who’s coming over to say hello!”

Swiveling around, you see that your intuition is right: Yoongi and Hoseok are swiftly making their way through the crowd, one of them appearing to be more enthusiastic than the other. You swallow thickly, your palms growing damp as they get closer to where the two of you stand.

"Seokjin, we gotta go!" you hiss, but your panic goes largely ignored as your best friend leaves you to envelop his lover in a dramatic embrace.

The two men exchange teary and heartfelt touches, acting as if they had been separated by years of war instead of the meager minutes they had spent apart to greet their long-time friends.

"My honeybunch! Oh, how I've missed you so much!" Seokjin cries, nuzzling his nose into Hoseok's neck. You might have mistaken him for a vampire with how aggressively he sniffs Hoseok's skin. Had Seokjin been 5% more unhinged, you do not doubt that he might have started suckling on his boyfriend like a leech.

"Oh, hyung. It's barely been an hour, but why does it feel like it has been forever?" Hoseok sighs forlornly, jaw clenching as though he's in pain. He croaks out a sob, lifting Seokjin in the air and spinning him around. "My love, let us never part again!"

You take a few steps away from them, trying to make it apparent to all the bewildered onlookers that you have nothing to do with homosexual Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

"What kind of shitty production is this? I want my money back," you murmur, fake-gagging behind the two of them. The lovesick fools pay no mind to your disgust; in fact, they seem to relish in it. Their efforts double, their theatrical kissy-smoochy sound effects causing goosebumps to form on your arms. "Seriously, I've had enough of this and I've only been forced to witness it for two seconds."

"Tell me about it," says a voice to your left. Startled, you nearly let out a shocked gasp when you realize that Yoongi had found his way by your side, his own disgusted gaze fixed on the bumbling buffoons still lost in their world. He glances at you for a second, quirking his lips into a small smile. "Hey, Y/N."

In just six words, Min Yoongi manages to make time grind to a halt. You gape at him, your brain ceasing in function. It takes you a full minute to realize that the man standing beside you is not a figment of your imagination. You had been so caught up in the absurdity of the situation that for a moment you had forgotten that Yoongi is a real person.

It's Yoongi, your first love. The person you haven't seen or spoken to in years. The man who has haunted your dreams for over a decade. He's standing right beside you, and he's smiling at you. He's here, he's hot, and he's saying hello.

Like the incredibly eloquent and profound person that you are, you reply: "Yellow!"

You had meant to say "Yoongi, hello!" like a normal person, but your brain had amalgamated your words during its rebooting process. And so, you are left standing there silently, frozen by your embarrassment. You swear you can hear a pin drop as you beg for the earth to swallow you whole.

Unfortunately for you, the floor remains painfully tangible beneath your feet, forcing you to clear your throat and expound on your mystifying exclamation. Yoongi watches you with curious eyes, patiently waiting for you to speak.

"W-what I meant to say is, uh," you stammer, your cheeks heating up to an alarming degree. "Those yellow streamers are pretty tacky, don't you think?"

Nice one. In terms of comebacks, you would personally give yourself a C for effort. (Note: C stands for "Can I please shove a fist up my ass and crabwalk the fuck out of here?")

Yoongi contemplates the tacky decorations in question, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess. They pretty much look like the stuff we'd make in elementary school during Arts and Crafts." He points to your mutual friends, grimacing in annoyance. "Them, on the other hand? No child should ever come into contact with those heathens."

"You're right," you snort, shaking your head.

There is a long and awkward pause. Yoongi clears his throat, swaying from side to side while staring at his shoes. You aren't any better, twiddling your thumbs as you will your cheeks to stop flushing. Your senses are practically screaming at you to run away and hide forever, but your limbs feel disjointed from the rest of you.

It's like we're at the zoo on a date and the monkeys won't stop fucking each other, your mind unhelpfully supplies, offering you an image that will permanently make its home on the backs of your eyelids.

Desperate to break the silence, eventually you say, "Hey, Yoongi—"

Right at the same time, Yoongi says, "Hey, Y/N—"

Another pause, but this one is slightly less tense. The two of you share a nervous laugh, though yours sounds a little bit more hysterical. You motion for him to speak first.

"I, uh... wanted to say that you look great. Yeah. Like, you haven't aged a day at all. N-not to say that I don't think you've matured or..." Yoongi stumbles over his words, his voice cracking.

Instead of feeling relieved that he's just as nervous as you, his anxiety only exacerbates your own. There's a reason you have never been good at public speaking, and this is a good example of why:

"No! I get what you mean, don't worry about it," you laugh, on the verge of a mental breakdown. What the fuck is this conversation, even? "You look exactly the same too. Umm... Of course, except for the, uh, hair?"

"Oh, you mean the gray hairs?"

"No, no! Of course not! I m-meant your hair looks really hot—I mean good! It looks GOOD," you repeat, frantically emphasizing the last bit. You had instinctively panicked, your voice rising in pitch.  If your cheeks weren't flaming hot already, then they're definitely redder than Seokjin's ass after a Friday night of fun.

The apples of Yoongi's cheek match your own flustered state, though you can imagine that you’re probably at least a hundred times worse. “Well, thank you. I was actually feeling self-conscious about my hair, so hearing that from you is really… nice,” he says, brushing his hair shyly. “I’m kinda done with bright colored hair for now, so seeing my hair in its natural state is still kind of weird.”

“I seriously doubt that Y/N was talking about your hair color, Yoongi,” Hoseok interjects, magically reappearing behind you when you don’t notice. You flinch in surprise, causing him to let out a hearty chuckle at your jumpiness. It seems that today is “Let’s scare the living shit out of Y/N” day with how many people have crept up on you in just one night.

Beside him, Seokjin looks like a bomb ready to explode, his fist jammed up his mouth to keep his guffaws from slipping out. “God, this is even better than the cringe compilations I watch on Youtube,” he wheezes, wiping a stray tear.

“Don’t be so mean to them, hyung! Don’t mind him,” Hoseok says to you, bowing apologetically. He smiles cherubically at Yoongi. “See, Yoongi? I told you that Y/N is even hotter up close!”

“God, fucking kill me,” you hear Yoongi groan.

“So, have you guys caught up yet, or have you just been fumbling around each other like a couple of horny teenagers?” Seokjin snickers, narrowly avoiding your heel stomping his foot.

“We’ve only just said hello. Leave us alone, jackass,” you huff.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Well, Hoseok and I can go on our merry ways if you wish—”

“Yoongi! Did you tell Y/N about your work back in Seoul? I bet she’d love to hear about it,” Hoseok interrupts smoothly, saving you from further embarrassment (courtesy of his infuriating goblin of a boyfriend.)

You blink in surprise, turning to the man in question. “You live in Seoul now? Did you move there after finishing university?” you ask.

“Well,” Yoongi starts, clearing his throat. He’s permanently pink at this point, not that you mind in the slightest. He always did have the cutest blush (and once upon a time, you used to love teasing him about it.) “I sort of dropped out of university early. Decided it wasn’t really my thing, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Yoongi. You were a fantastic student. I’m sure Y/N remembers how smart you are,” Hoseok says, winking inconspicuously at you.

You force out a laugh in response. You know perfectly well what he was trying to do; Hoseok isn’t slick in the slightest, though you do admit that you are intrigued to find out what Yoongi had done over the years.

It isn’t like you haven’t been keeping tabs on him. In your defense, it’s hard to stay away from news about Yoongi when he’s such a big deal. So what if you’ve watched a couple of his interviews and streamed all of his songs? He’s always been talented with music, and all the radio shows seem to agree. You couldn’t get away from him if you tried (and it’s not like you were trying very hard, anyway.)

Yoongi shrugs, rubbing his neck bashfully. “E-either way, I decided to tough it out, you know? Follow my dreams and all that, even if it nearly killed me.”

“And now, he’s working in a famous idol company as one of their head producers,” Hoseok finishes for him, chest puffing up in pride. He slaps his best friend on the back, not noticing that he had inadvertently caused Yoongi's spine to cave in from his strength. “Yoongi is so cool, and humble too! He’s been working behind the scenes for a bunch of big names and never got greedy for attention even though he totally deserves it.”

“Damn, so no street cred? Bit schewpid, innit? Imagine all the chicks you could’ve landed, bruv!” Seokjin says, imitating a terrible British accent. You make a move to hit him in the groin, but for once, Hoseok beats you to the punch.

“Nope! Yoongi-chi is super single, aren’t you?” Hoseok says with a sweet grin, ignoring the pained groans of his lover on the floor.

“No need to rub it in, Seok-ah,” Yoongi grumbles defensively. He coughs into his fist, grinding his foot into the floor. He throws a glance your way. “Just been… too busy, I guess.”

From the floor, Seokjin holds up a hand, grasping at Hoseok’s pant leg to hoist himself up. “What a coincidence. Y/N is super single too. In fact, her pussy is so dry that there’d be no chance for any yeast infections to develop—WAIT, DON’T HIT ME AGAIN I PROMISE I’LL BEHAVE!” Seokjin is on his knees, holding his arms up in surrender as Hoseok’s boot is about to connect with his stomach.

“I know I said I was into BDSM, but not like this!” Seokjin says, faking a sob.

“Then behave, darling,” Hoseok replies, eyes lighting dangerously. When he returns his attention to you, you and Yoongi back away instinctively. “Sorry about him. We have an… arrangement,” he says, waving his hands vaguely.

“Understood,” you both say, not understanding but also not wanting to.

Seokjin manages to straighten up eventually, his skin slightly paler than it was before. “A-as I was saying,” he exhales, still gingerly cupping his crotch. “Y/N has been single for so long, but I don’t blame her. Not after that awful disaster of a boyfriend, right? God, Sungjae fucking sucked ass, and not even in the sexy way.”

“Um, yeah…” you say hesitantly, avoiding eye contact. You can feel Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s eyes trained on you, but you’re not confident enough to know that you can keep your face neutral.

With your gaze averted, you don’t notice the way Yoongi’s posture tenses. “Is that so,” he says carefully.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Hoseok says. You can hear the genuine sadness in his tone, and you chance a peek at him. He pats your shoulder gently, giving you a soft smile. “Honestly, I feel you. I’ve definitely been there, done that. That’s why I’m grateful for Seokjin-hyung, believe it or not. He’s been really good for me.”

“Hah, I told you I’m a good person!” Seokjin says. Again, he goes ignored.

“It’s fine. It’s all water under the bridge,” you say, shrugging. You can still feel Yoongi’s persistent gaze on the side of your head like a brand. You’re kind of afraid to see what sort of expression he has despite the curiosity burning inside of you.

You are still in the middle of debating if it’s worth explaining or not (and to a lesser extent, why you feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone), everyone’s attention is caught by the onslaught of waiters bringing in a fresh batch of food to the buffet. Your stomach growls in response, and you are reminded of the fact that you haven’t eaten since breakfast in preparation for tonight’s event.

“Hold that thought, Y/N,” Hoseok says, holding up a finger. “Hyung! I saw a platter of tuna belly and I know that shit is gonna disappear in two seconds. Let’s head out!” He tugs Seokjin in a hurry, the elder’s gangly legs flying about as he trips over himself to keep up. Seokjin yelps and hollers for him to slow down, but the hangry Hoseok train stops for no one. They run off, leaving Hoseok-and-Seokjin-shaped dust clouds in their wakes.

“Wow,” Yoongi says, dumbfounded. “Did we just get ditched by our two self-proclaimed best friends in the world?”

You nod, equally dumbfounded. “I guess we did.”

He shakes his head. “Fucking traitors.”

And just like that, the conversation dies.

Without your friends acting as buffers, the pair of you return to your painfully awkward states. You rack your brain for a conversation topic, anything to keep the tension at bay. You don’t feel nearly comfortable enough to ask him about his love life, even though you want nothing more than to shake the details right out of him. For perfectly sane reasons, of course.

Lucky for you, Yoongi thinks of a solution. “Um, I guess we should go grab our food as well? I’m assuming we’ll be sitting together since our friends are... you know. Unless you don’t want to, then that’s also perfectly fine with me. I can find somewhere else to sit.”

“I’d love to sit with you,” you say, cringing at your choice of words. Love to? What are you, desperate?! your brain screeches at you, and you mentally beat yourself in the coochie.

Deep down, you know that you’re overreacting, but you can’t help acting like a blushy teenager talking to your crush when you’re around Yoongi. It’s almost as if you’ve reverted to your high school days, back when you’d both started to notice your feelings for each other and the steady flow of butterflies erupting in your stomach had felt less like a burden and more like a revelation.

After tossing your disgusting drink into a nearby bin, you and Yoongi line up behind the rest of your classmates for the buffet, the scene reminiscent of having lunch at your old high school cafeteria. You’re still mildly distracted by Yoongi’s proximity, not looking at what food you were getting and randomly scooping and hoping you don’t dislike all of them.

From the corner of your eye, you notice that Yoongi’s plate is steadily piling up, probably with enough food to feed two people. You’ve never known Yoongi to be much of a heavy eater, but you suppose that free food is still free food at the end of the day.

“So,” Yoongi says after a beat. He pulls you from your trance, and you catch the small smile on his face that tells you that he figured you had been distracted. “How is Jungkook, by the way? He graduated from university a year ago or something, right?”

You pause, your hand stilling on the metal tongs. “How did you know he graduated last year?”

He shrugs. “Well, assuming that he didn’t take any gap years, I did the math and figured he should be at the age where he’s looking for a job.” He turns to you with a sly grin. “Plus, I’m still his friend on Facebook.”

“That’s surprising,” you comment. You backtrack a little, “And I mean it’s surprising in the sense that… All his posts are reshares from dank meme pages and I thought you wouldn’t be into that.”

Yoongi laughs. “I’m not. But… it’s nice to know how things are back home, I guess.”

Do you wonder about me, too? you think, but you internally shake your head. But why would he? He doesn’t owe you anything.

“And your dad? I heard he got hip surgery last fall,” Yoongi says.

“Wait, Jungkook has been posting about our dad’s surgery on his Facebook?”

“Oh! No, not exactly.” Yoongi clears his throat, suddenly nervous. He heaps a big portion of kimchi, some of it staining his sleeve. “I… called him a few days ago, to catch up.”

You’re staring at him, and you dimly register the people lined up behind you huffing impatiently. “You… called him? You have his cell number, too?”

“No, I just… happen to still have your home telephone number memorized and hoped that you guys hadn’t moved,” he says, a little guiltily.

You’re silent for a moment, thoughtlessly scooping more bean sprouts onto your plate than any sane person would be comfortable eating. The two of you inch along the buffet display as you attempt to process his sudden confession.

On one hand, you’re slightly betrayed that your own brother hadn’t thought to mention that your ex had called him, but on the other hand, what would you have done if he did? Ask if you could say hello? The Y/N from last month probably would have laughed if she had known that Min Yoongi still cared enough to call and check on her family, much less have her landline memorized even after all these years.

He still cared.

Unbeknownst to everyone in the room, your heart skips a beat at the thought. You cradle a hand to your chest, urging your nerves to quell. Keep it together, you beg your stupid, naive heart. You can survive one night without falling in love again, can’t you?

...can you?

“I…” you stammer. You swallow thickly, desperate for something to say, anything to stop your mind from going in the wrong direction. “They miss you, you know? You have no idea how many times my parents ask if you’re coming home for Christmas, or—I don’t know.”

“Yeah, my parents are the same. They always wanna know if I’m coming home for the holidays, and they,” he hesitates, swallowing thickly, “They always ask about you, too.”

Oh.

“Oh,” you mutter lamely. Your cheeks feel like they’ve been lit on fire the moment you got here, and you haven’t even visited the bar yet.

You finally make it to the end of the long buffet table where there is a large chocolate fountain just begging for you to ravage if only your stomach wasn’t besieged by butterflies. Yoongi glances at you, his own hands too full to get any desserts, but he still pauses as if he’s waiting for you. When you make it apparent you aren’t interested in the mouthwatering cakes and pastries (a big fat lie, but you also don’t want to vomit in front of him and your hundreds of schoolmates), he raises a brow as though he’s surprised.

“What? I’m not that much of a sweet tooth,” you scoff.

“This is coming from the girl who broke into her little brother’s piggy bank to buy some ice cream from a passing street vendor?” he teases.

“That’s the old me. Now, I make enough money to buy my own sweets,” you say smugly.

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say.” If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought he looked endeared.

The pair of you search for Hoseok and Seokjin, only to find that the couple had somehow found a table for all of you somewhere near the back. With one last longing glance at the wondrous chocolate fountain, you walk away with Yoongi in tow. You have to push through throngs of people, a few old familiar faces stopping to say hello before they notice the precarious situation on Yoongi’s plate and let you through. You wave at them, promising to greet them later before turning to Yoongi.

“Isn’t it kind of weird to see all these people again? Not gonna lie, it’s almost hard to recognize a few of them.” You note some of the crazy hair colors and drastic fashion choices that you never thought you’d see a decade ago. An even stranger sight, however, is the occasional schoolmates with little ones attached to their hips. You recognize one of the new parents, your mouth dropping in shock.

“Wait, is that Seulgi? And is that her—”

“Her son? Jesus Christ,” Yoongi mutters, equally as bewildered as you. “Damn, I did not expect her of all people to be one of the first to have a kid. I’d always thought it’d be Sooyoung.”

You nod in agreement. You observe the little boy tug roughly at her skirt, his tiny fists making grabbing motions at the cookies on her plate. “Yeah. I always thought I’d have a kid before Seulgi, at least. What a surprise.”

You speak before you think, and it takes longer than it should have for you to realize your mistake. By then, Yoongi’s expression had already morphed into astonishment, his eyes bugging out as he chokes on his spit.

Your cheeks are burning, your mouth opening and closing as pure panic seizes you. You cannot believe that you just said that! No fucking way! Did you eat lube this morning or something? Why are words just spilling out of your mouth at an unprecedented rate?! You’re begging your brain to come up with something, anything, to control the damage, but alas your thoughts remain resolutely frozen.

If aliens were to choose to study the human race right now, they’d be sorely disappointed to find the lack of intelligent lifeforms. No complex thoughts going on over here! Not one goddamn neuron firing in this bitch!

“O-oh, well, that’s…” he trails off. He clears his throat, his jaw clenched as he awkwardly tries to feign composure. “I didn’t know you were, um, interested? Well, n-not that I think you were averse to the idea of having kids, since I remember you mentioning it when we were, um,” he pauses, struggling to find a word other than dating, or together, or in love, or not painstakingly careful around each other, like every conversation topic was a fucking minefield.

“Younger?” you supply. A safe, neutral word. Yay for you! You deserve a snack from your animal care keeper right about now.

“Right,” he nods. He looks down at his shoes, revealing his flushed neck. He’s frustratingly adorable like this, but it does nothing except distract you. “Were you, um, planning on having a kid with your ex-boyfriend? Before you broke up?”

Ex-boyfriend? Why is he bringing him up all of a sudden? You stare at him in confusion for half a second before realization strikes you. Thankfully (or unthankfully), it seems that Yoongi misunderstands the implication behind your words and has taken your little slip-up the wrong way. For once, you are so thankful that Yoongi almost failed Math during the 10th grade and never learned to put two and two together.

“Definitely not,” you bark out a laugh, but it sounds incredibly forced, even to your own ears. You stare at the plate of food in your hands, a wave of unpleasant memories washing over you. “I doubt he’d ever want kids, anyway. Seokjin used to make fun of him and call him the world’s biggest toddler.”

Yoongi winces, his brow furrowing. “How long were you together?”

“Like, two years?” You shrug. “It felt longer, to be honest. Even if we dated for so long, I could never imagine myself having a family with him,” you say.

It was almost the truth, but not quite. While your ex-boyfriend had undoubtedly been a pain in your ass, he wasn’t completely bad, especially in the beginning. You had enough self-respect that you would have ended the relationship earlier if he didn’t have any redeeming qualities. The main problem was that he had a tough act to follow, and you don’t think any man on earth would be able to live up to your lofty expectations at this point, not when you’d constantly be comparing everyone to—

Yoongi speaks up again. “Seokjin seems to really dislike him. Was he really that bad?”

“Seokjin has never really liked any of my past flings,” you admit, rolling your eyes. (You fail to mention that Yoongi has always been the only exception.) “Despite his own disgustingly high body count, I can’t say he was wrong. Sungjae was a self-centered prick who never gave me the time of day. Hell, I was almost thankful when I caught him cheating. It was the final push I needed.”

Even though it’s been so long, the pain of seeing your ex-boyfriend locking lips with a stranger he had randomly picked up from the street still throbs inside of you. It wasn’t like you were particularly sad or surprised to find out, but you’d always been a bit sensitive to people who kept secrets from you. Plus, it kinda sucked to know that they had fucked on your favorite Egyptian cotton sheets.

“Fucking bastard. If I ever saw him in person, I’d definitely kick his nuts ‘til he’s left with a concave crotch,” he seethes, eyes narrowing.

You laugh. You have to confess that the mental image is satisfying. “You don’t even know what he looks like though!”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m sure Seokjin would tell me if I asked,” he huffs. He mutters something else after, but his volume drops to a whisper and you have to step closer to properly hear him.

“What? Sorry, I missed that,” you say, but you could have sworn he said something like “I wouldn’t have done that if it were me” but you couldn’t be completely sure.

“N-nothing,” he stutters, waving off your confusion. He tacks on a smile, but you can tell that he must have been embarrassed by whatever he’d said. If it was anything like what you thought he’d said, then you could understand. It wasn’t like he was wrong, anyway.

He makes a move to rub the back of his neck, but he greatly underestimates the weight of his platter and nearly drops everything. Something deep inside of you kicks in, and your body instinctively moves to hold his plate with your free hand, saving him from a very messy situation. However, that also means that your hands are now touching each other, your fingertips grazing his knuckles.

Instead of letting him go like a normal person, your ape brain makes the first move (as per usual).

“Your hands are still cold,” you say dumbly. You had wanted to say more, like “your hands are still as cold as they were from when we were younger,” but bringing up your past together, even for something so harmless, still feels taboo. You keep your hands where they are, your eyes locked on his. It feels like you’re in the middle of a dramatic TV show while I Will Go To You by Ailee plays in the background. You can almost imagine the numerous ads for random Korean cosmetic products framing the two of you in slow motion.

Yoongi chuckles, reluctantly pulling away from you. You already miss the sensation of his skin on yours. “I guess some things never change, huh?” he says, wavering slightly. He stares at you for another moment before shaking his head, as though he’s pushing away some unwelcome thoughts. He turns away, leaving you behind to make his way to your table.

Despite the unbidden emotions bubbling up your throat and threatening to spill over, you have no choice but to follow.

At the table, Seokjin and Hoseok speak mutely with each other, though the exaggerated expressions on both their faces tell you that they had been in the middle of an argument. When Yoongi takes his place beside Hoseok, the couple pauses in their bickering to greet you.

Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s overflowing plate. “Dude. I know I teased you about being a skinny twig a while ago, but I wasn’t implying that you gorge yourself.”

Yoongi jolts in surprise before staring back at his plate. Weirdly enough, he looks just as shocked as Hoseok to find the amount of food he had gotten, as though he hadn’t even noticed.

Perhaps he was just as distracted as you had been? you think, staring at your own meager pickings. Oops, you definitely didn’t get enough food to fill your ravenous appetite.

“That’s fine. I can share with you guys,” Yoongi says.

Seokjin peers at your plate, smirking knowingly. “Oh, yes. I’m sure Y/N would love to get some of your food. It seems like the two of you either over or underestimated how much you’d eat.”

“Aww, cute!” Hoseok coos, pinching Yoongi’s cheek. “You still have the habit of getting food for her. That’s so sweet that you still remember that about her!”

You had been in the middle of taking a swig of your water, but Hoseok’s comment nearly causes it to spew out from your nose. You cough harshly, beating your chest as your nose burns, among other things.

“Hoseok!” Yoongi scolds. He hits his friend on the shoulder, but Hoseok’s giggles refuse to stop.

“Oh shit, you’re totally right! Remember all those times when either one of us was forced to third-wheel with them?” Seokjin guffaws. “Y/N always orders something gross whenever we eat out together, and Yoongi ends up having to share half of his food with her when she starts moping.”

“I did not mope!” you retort vehemently.

“You kind of did,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, but you catch him this time.

You cross your arms, scowling. “Did not!”

Yoongi covers his mouth to fake a cough, but you can tell he’s smiling from how his eyes start to crinkle.

“You guys are so cute,” Hoseok sighs, squeezing Yoongi into a hug. Yoongi paws at him weakly, but you know that he enjoys skinship too much to push his friend away.  Still, he pouts cutely, his cheeks puffing up like a pastry.

“Anyway, why were you guys arguing a while ago?” Yoongi asks, changing the subject. “Seokjin-hyung is kinda red in the face.”

“Oh, we weren’t really arguing. Hyung had gotten some wine from the bar but he forgot to get me some,” Hoseok says. He glares sharply at Seokjin. “Bastard.”

“You just said we weren’t fighting!” Seokjin whines. He stands up, raising his arms in surrender. “But fine! I’ll go get your damn wine,” he sulks, groaning when he stretches his back and a few worrisome pops resound from his joints.

“Damn, hyung. I know I told you that I hope you grow up well when we were kids, but I didn’t think you’d take it that literally,” Yoongi jokes, earning a sharp laugh from you. Yoongi glances at you then, visibly proud when he catches the wide grin on your face.

Seokjin gasps, offended. “I am not old! I’m literally a year older than you guys! And here I was, about to get you both drinks as well! It sucks to be the nice one in a friend group,” he sniffs.

“Yes, we are eternally grateful for your service,” Hoseok says sarcastically. “Oh, and remember to get some drinks for Y/N and Yoongi-chi too!” Hoseok adds, slamming his palm on Seokjin’s sore back.

Seokjin yelps, before biting his lip. “Owwie, that hurt,” he moans, winking salaciously.

As the closest person to him, you make it your right to jam your heeled foot onto his gelatinous and push away with a shout of disgust. “Leave, wench!” you snarl, but you’re unfortunately drowned out by his cackling. Even so, he does make his leave, affording your table some level of peace.

“So,” Hoseok starts, a twinkle of mischief in his eye. He cradles his chin with his hands, smiling innocuously at the two of you. “How’s it goin’? Are you both having fun?” he says, laced with meaning.

Ah, you had forgotten; peace was never an option.

Though he is undoubtedly less annoying than Seokjin, you still don’t trust the way he’s staring at you, like he’s waiting for one of you to jump into the other’s lap and recreate his favorite porn scene.

(A terrible thought to have, especially when you’d probably be as begrudging as you should be if you were swayed sufficiently.)

“It’s going fine, thank you very much,” Yoongi responds, giving his best friend a stern look.

You nod wordlessly, unable to trust yourself to keep from stammering and making your frayed nerves apparent (if they aren’t already.) You grab your glass and busy yourself with your drink to delay answering.

You don’t notice that you had taken Yoongi’s cup by accident until you’ve already gulped a third of his water, dropping it with a loud clunk. “Oh shit, sorry! I didn’t mean to drink from yours,” you say sheepishly.

Yoongi smiles at your concern. “No worries. It’s just a cup.”

“Sharing cups too? Damn, what happened while Seokjin and I were away?” Hoseok laughs. Yoongi flicks him lightly on the wrist in retaliation.

“It’s just a cup,” he repeats before turning to you. “Sorry, I think he’s a bit drunk.”

“Haven’t had a single drop of alcohol but whatever,” Hoseok says, shoveling a large piece of tuna belly into his mouth.

The sight of him eating reminds you of your own hunger, your food slightly colder now after talking to Yoongi and your friends for so long. You take a spoonful of chicken, the taste not terrible but not as good as you would like. Your face must give your disappointment away because you hear Yoongi chuckling beside you.

“Bad food again? Guess you really are the same,” Yoongi says, low enough that Hoseok wouldn’t hear. He pushes his plate towards you, carefully nudging some of his bulgogi onto yours. “This tastes kind of sweet, so I’m not really into it. But you prefer it sweeter right?”

All you can do is nod in agreement, watching as he piles your plate with his food. His sleeves, which had already been stained previously by some stray bits of kimchi, become even more saturated with sauces and oils. Now that you see it up close, his sleeves seem a bit too long for him, his palms half covered like sweater paws.  

Without thinking too hard, you place your hands over Yoongi’s wrists, his entire body freezing as he waits for what you will do. Gently, as though you’re approaching a frightened kitten, you fold his sleeves until they’re no longer dangling into his food. The gesture is more intimate than you had intended, his proximity allowing you to smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne.

Paco Rabanne, your mind reminds you. Of course.

You pull away, trying your best to appear as unfazed as possible. You clench your hands and dig your nails into your skin to keep them from trembling. “If I’m the same, you’re no better. You always used to forget to pull back your sleeves before eating.”

After a beat, Yoongi returns from his stupor, licking his lips. “My hands were cold,” he explains.

“I know.” You lick your lips too, suddenly parched despite all the water you have drunk.

A forgotten treasure trove of memories resurrects inside of you, things that you had thought had been buried too deep for you to find again. You are filled with this odd feeling, an awareness. An old wound has resurfaced, one that you thought had healed long ago.

That wound throbs, still.

It’s so strange, being with him like this. A piece of your past that has come to your present, both the same and different as you remember. He knows parts of you that no one else will, as do you with him. But those parts were only ever supposed to stay buried: memories, after all, aren’t supposed to be tangible.

And yet, here he stands: real, alive, close.

It leaves you feeling emptier than before.

The atmosphere grows somber after that, neither of you offering much to the conversation. Hoseok is more than happy to pick up the slack, filling the stark silence along with the occasional hums from Yoongi. When Seokjin returns, he makes no note of the change in mood and focuses more on eating and talking with his partner. It allows the two of you to remain deep in thought.

You are pushing your remaining bits of food around your plate when the soft instrumental music playing on the overhead speaker stops abruptly, and the sound of a microphone being tapped prompts everyone to turn to the front of the ballroom. The host of the event announces that the next part of the reunion will begin shortly and encourages all the performers to head to the sound booth to prepare. A couple of your schoolmates rise from their seats, most of whom were the students you remembered being part of choir or band.

You half-expect Yoongi to stand up as well, but he stays rooted to the spot. Apparently, Hoseok is wondering the same thing.

“Yoongi? Didn’t you say that the organizers asked you to perform some of your songs?” Hoseok questions.

“They did.”

“But?”

Yoongi brings his fingers to his teeth, biting on them anxiously. Your hand makes a move to pull them away, but you think better of it. No need to supply your friends with more teasing ammunition. “But I changed my mind last minute. I felt kind of embarrassed to be performing my own songs. I’m more of a producer, not a performer.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Yoongi. You’re poggers, as the kids like to say,” Seokjin pipes up.

“I wouldn’t put it like that, but he’s right. A lot of people like your music and think you’re a great performer,” you assure him. “And I like your music, too,” you add shyly.

Yoongi’s hand drops from his mouth, eyes glittering with disbelief. He looks like he wants to disagree with you, but eventually decides to just smile in gratitude. “I didn’t know you listened to my music,” he says quietly.

Before you can reply, Seokjin chooses to interrupt with his migraine-inducing cackle and ruin the moment (as he is prone to do.) “Oh bitch! If you only knew how much this girl loves your music. She even buys your physical CDs AND collects your photocards.”

“I do not!” You scream, flinging a piece of bread at his head. You refuse to peek at Yoongi.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I collect his photocards too. Wanna trade sometime? I’m missing the one when he still had mint hair,” Hoseok giggles.

“Will the two of you stop? God, it’s like you both had been planning to embarrass us as much as possible,” Yoongi exclaims, incensed.

When neither of them responds, you and Yoongi whip your heads towards them only to find two self-satisfied, smirking shitheads.

“Why watch reality shows when you can make your own?” Seokjin says in lieu of an answer, pointing finger guns. He blows you a kiss with a wink.

You clutch your chest, pretending to wince in pain. “Augh! Poison damage!”

Seokjin scoffs. “Swagever, man. You’re just mad because you’re angry,” he retorts, sticking out his tongue.

While you were occupied bickering with Seokjin, you had not seen that one of your old schoolmates had invited herself to your table. She sandwiches herself in the space between you and Yoongi, bumping you roughly enough to topple you out of your chair.

“What the fuck?” you yelp in surprise, holding onto the table to balance yourself. After straightening back into your seat, you find that your view of the world has become obscured by asscheeks the size of beachballs.

“Hi Yoongi,” she purrs seductively. Or at least, what she thinks is seductive. To you, her voice sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard.

“Hello?” Yoongi says, but it comes out sounding more like a question. It’s clear that he doesn’t remember her name, as he searches your eyes for help. You shrug unhelpfully; you deleted almost all the names of everyone that you had gone to school with right after graduation. Besides, her horrendous plastic surgery makes it even twice as hard to discern her identity.

“Hi Hyejin,” Hoseok speaks up, answering your unspoken question. Oh, right. The name does ring a bell, somewhat. You don’t recall her looking like a cartoon character before, but you suppose beauty standards are meant to be subjective. Maybe she wanted to look like a One Piece character.

Hyejin purses her lips into a tight smile but doesn’t return his greeting. She turns back to Yoongi, bending forward until her boobs are practically smooshed against his face. You wonder idly if stabbing her chest with your chopsticks would cause them to burst like a balloon, or perhaps drain like a puss-filled pimple. Both, you surmise, would be very entertaining to watch.

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other, hm? I heard you’ve been very busy ever since we graduated from high school,” she says, batting her eyelashes.

“Uh, yeah? Some of us have jobs,” he says, passively dissing her. You let out a strangled laugh, causing Hyejin to aim a glare back at you. You bring your (his) cup of water to your lips, feigning innocence.

Hyejin rolls her eyes. “Right. But I meant that you’ve become a real star back in Seoul! I didn’t know you were such a musical prodigy!”

“I’m really not. I just work hard,” he shrugs. He’s visibly uncomfortable, especially since Hyejin was pretty much breathing the same air as him. Every time he leans away from her, she takes it as an invitation to come closer. He is nearly lying horizontally at this point, his back parallel with the floor.

“Humble as well as handsome? My, my. I didn’t think you’d be such a charmer,” she laughs, saccharine sweet. She twirls her dyed brown hair with her perfectly manicured acrylic nails. You rub at the goosebumps forming on your arms, cringing at the phantom sensation of her nails digging into your skin.

“Just spit it out. What the hell do you want so you can leave,” Seokjin interjects. Everything about his demeanor says calm and collected, but the way he presses his lips into a thin line says otherwise. You can sense the air dropping in temperature, despite the embers burning behind his eyes.

“I came over here to ask if Yoongi could give me his autograph, that’s all. I am his biggest fan, after all,” she sulks. She winks at him for extra measure. “And maybe his number too? I’d love to discuss your music with you sometime!”

“Oh, um. That’s—” he cuts off, hesitant to answer. He tugs at his ears nervously, exchanging subtly alarmed glances with you.

You remember that signal very distinctly; it’s a distress call that he would do whenever he needed a way out. He used to do it a lot when you were at social gatherings, especially when people would trap him in boring or awkward conversations. He never did like socializing with people outside his circle, but he was often dragged to parties by his more extroverted friends.

He might be hot as hell with his stylish clothes and jaw-dropping undercut, but he’s still awkward as hell around strangers. When the universe created him, they made sure to keep everything in balance. If they hadn’t been fair, you certainly would’ve died much earlier.

“Yoongi, don’t you have spare CDs of your music?” you quip, dragging Hyejin’s attention onto you. Her eyes narrow imperceptibly, suspicious.

“I do?” He stares at you blankly.

You resist hitting your forehead in exasperation. “Yes, Yoongi. Remember? You left a couple of them in my car.”

Yoongi’s eyes light up in understanding. “Oh, right! I left my CDs. In your car. That we drove here. Together. We came here. Together. Yes, correct.”

From your periphery, you can sense Hoseok barely holding onto his sanity after witnessing that pitiful display. Who can blame him when Yoongi’s infamously terrible acting skills are having their first appearance in over ten years? How he managed to pass Drama class is still a mystery to this day.

“Yup,” you say, popping your p.  You give Hyejin a winsome smile, your hands folded neatly on your lap. You can almost see the steam blowing out of her ears. It fills you with delicious satisfaction. “Why don’t Yoongi and I go get them so he can sign one?”

If her eyes had been made of lasers, you’d be a cauterized mess jumble of organs by now. Can’t say you would regret it either way.

“How kind of you.” She sneers. “Also, I wasn’t aware that you two were still a thing.”

“I wasn’t aware that we were required to inform you of anything,” you retort placidly. You plaster on your fakest grin. “Now, if you can please move your fat ass—I mean, if you can please move out of the way so I can go to my car...” you trail off, gesturing for her to leave.

After a few more indignant sputters on her end, she eventually makes her exit. She throws a couple of poisonous glares, but they go largely ignored by you and your friends. With her gone, you feel as though you can finally breathe fresh air again.

“Great stuff, Y/N! Congrats on winning your first bitch-off,” Seokjin chirps, back to his usual self. You roll your eyes at his antics but smile nonetheless.

“Thanks. I learned from the best.”

Yoongi clears his throat. “So, are we still gonna go?” He looks back and forth from her to you. “Just so we can pretend you actually have my albums in your car?”

“Trust me, Yoongi-chi. She does have your albums in her car.” Seokjin titters. “I wasn’t kidding about the photocard collection.”

“Ignore him. And yes, I do have your albums. I listen to them in my car from time to time,” you say, attempting nonchalance. “I’d hate to give them away to that bitch, but if it keeps her away...”

Away from you is left unsaid, but it’s heavily implied.

(No, you aren’t jealous. You’re above jealousy. It’s not like that bitch would ever have a chance with him anyway, unlike you—!

Woah there, cowgirl. Let’s stay on the right path. Don’t want your heart getting chewed up and spat back out all over again, do you?)

“I’ll just mail you a new one. Signed, if you want. You can probably sell it on eBay or whatever.” He tries to say it like a joke, but his brow is too furrowed to be convincing. (You want to kiss him there and make it go away.)

You don’t trust yourself to speak, so all you do is nod mutely. You stand up and Yoongi follows suit.

“We’ll be right back. If she comes back before then, tell her to scram,” you tell Hoseok and Seokjin. They salute you in response (well, Hoseok does. Seokjin does a very rude gesture with his fingers that is supposed to mimic something explicit. Feel free to use your imagination.)

The walk to the parking lot is a quiet one. The two of you stay side by side, his strides naturally matching your own. Unlike before, you don’t feel the need to fill the silence for once, content to just be in each other’s presence.

The hotel that your reunion is being held at is unusually unpopulated. The lobby consists of a handful of employees milling about, a few of whom look ready to fall asleep on their feet. You nod politely at the bellboy who opens the main doors for you, declining his offer to call the valet service to fetch your car.

“Just hand me my keys. I’ll look for my car in the parking lot.” It wouldn’t be hard to find, anyway. Your beat-up Toyota Corolla looks as though it’s been through three wars and then some.

It isn’t long until you find it parked close to the entrance. You unlock your car from the passenger seat, shimmying the glove compartment open to reveal your collection of CDs.

“Wow, you weren’t lying when you said you listened to my music,” Yoongi says, voice loud amidst the tranquil night. It startles you, and you accidentally knock over some of the albums onto your car floor. On top of the pile lies Yoongi’s most recent album, the one you recall he had released a couple of months ago.

Strange, how just hours ago you were listening to his music on the way to the reunion, only for the boy on the cover of the album to be just inches away from you.

“Yeah, well. You’re a pretty good artist,” you say.

“Only pretty good?” he repeats, amused.

“Don’t push it,” you snort. You grab the album on top, waving it in front of him. “This should be good enough, right?”

He plucks it from your grasp, an unreadable expression clouding his eyes. He chuckles, but there’s an edge of sadness in his tone. “Good enough,” he agrees solemnly.

His sudden quietness is different from the peaceful one before. It’s sorrowful, maybe regretful. He looks like a man stuck in grief.

“Did you know that I didn’t finish this album before releasing it?”

The question seems a little out of the blue, but you answer regardless. “No, I didn’t. They don’t sound unfinished to me.”

“The songs themselves aren’t unfinished,” he explains. He turns the album over, his finger running down the back where the tracklist is printed. “One of my songs never made it in.”

“Couldn’t you have delayed the album launch so you could complete it?”

He shakes his head. “It was actually the first song I finished out of all of them.”

“Then..?”

“It didn’t matter, at the time. I wrote it for someone specifically, but I didn’t want to put it on the album if she—they didn’t listen to it. It wouldn’t matter if the whole world heard that song because only they would understand it.”

“But now? What changed?” Fear and hope run down your spine in tandem when the question tumbles out of you. You hold your breath, and the world shifts from its axis.

But he doesn’t elaborate further.

x x x x x

You return to the hotel after acquiring both an album and some more tension. The album feels heavy in your hands, weighed down by secrets you are still too afraid to uncover. Not that Yoongi would ever willingly divulge them to you—because revealing them would make them real, and making them real would mean you would have to accept them, and accepting them would cause you to—

“They’re gone,” Yoongi announces when you reenter the ballroom. You can’t spot your table from the entranceway, but the certainty in Yoongi’s tone makes you believe him.

“No fucking way. Did those two little shits ditch us to exchange body fluids or something?”

Yoongi grimaces. “Please don’t say it like that. It’s bad enough that I was sitting close enough to Hoseok a while ago that I got accidentally footsie’d by Seokjin hyung.”

You wince, placing a pitying hand on his shoulder. “God didn’t make us his strongest soldiers.”

Yoongi tries dialing Hoseok a few times, but none of the calls connect. “Just my rotten luck,” he groans. He types angrily into his phone, worry creasing his forehead. “He was supposed to be my ride back to his place.”

“Seokjin isn’t answering his phone either,” you say apologetically. “How much do you wanna bet this is part of their evil scheme to leave us together?”

“I don’t doubt it in the slightest,” he deadpans. He sighs tiredly, rubbing his temples. “I suppose I can take a taxi there, but I also don’t know if he’ll be home to open the door for me.”

“Then why don’t you just stay with me?”

You don’t know what you’re doing.

In your head, the offer makes sense. He’s just a friend, you remind yourself. Nothing is stopping you from rekindling a friendship with him. You have purely platonic intentions. Friends help each other out.

Never mind the fact that your heart hasn’t stopped fluttering the entire night. Never mind the fact that you’ve caught yourself staring at him just as many times as you’ve caught him staring at you. Never mind the fact that you don’t want the night to end, not now not ever.

(Never mind the fact that you’ve never quite stopped loving him.)

So when he accepts, you convince yourself that offering had been the right thing to do.

(Maybe. Hopefully. You just wish your heart doesn’t end up as collateral damage.)

The drive home is short, thanks to the late hour. You had asked him if he had wanted to stay until the end of the reunion, but he had declined. “Nothing else left for me there,” he says.

You feel as though he’s hinting at something. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens. “At least I get to keep my album.”

Yoongi laughs, short and sweet.

As much as you try to fight it, sitting in the car with him brings up a lot of memories.

The two of you in the backseat as his older brother drives you to his house for dinner, backpacks filled with crumpled notes and loose pens, a promise of an intense study session for your upcoming exams ready to be broken. You remember how the sky would turn orange in the afternoon, the warm light streaming through the car window and washing Yoongi’s skin with a soft glow.

His cheeks had looked inviting, his lips even more. And you would lean over, kissing him like it was easy. Because it was easy, and you never had to think twice about it.

Your trip down memory lane doesn’t end in the car. As you walk up the steps to your childhood home, you hesitate by the door, your keys frozen over the lock. You can hear Yoongi’s soft breathing behind you, but his presence doesn’t feel as stifling as you thought it would be.

You’re far from being at ease, but you aren’t frightened either. Mostly, you’re just filled with anticipation. Of what? You aren’t sure.

“Excuse the mess. Jungkook is in the middle of moving out so there’s just stuff everywhere,” you say just as you open the door. You toe off your shoes by the entrance, kicking them off haphazardly into the pile of sneakers and boots.

You hear Yoongi huff out a laugh behind you. “Aish, that kid. Still hasn’t let go of his Timbs, huh?”

“He has also been really into chunky sneakers these days. I think he’s finalizing his transformation into Thumper,” you joke. “He’s staying at his new apartment for the weekend with my parents, so you won’t be seeing them. They’re helping him settle in.”

“Really? He didn’t mention moving when we spoke. Where is he moving to?”

“Busan. He and his best friend from college are going to start a restaurant in his hometown. Which is funny, since neither of them are the best chefs.”

Yoongi whistles. “Still, that’s impressive. I can’t remove the image from my head of when he was a kid. He was so scared of anything. He wouldn’t let go of your mom’s leg even if his life depended on it.”

He steps deeper into the house, his gaze jumping from end to end as he surveys your childhood home. You watch him, noting how right he looks standing there in the middle of your living room, like a chipped painting that has been restored.

It’s scary, how easily you’ve accepted him back into this place.

He stays rooted to the spot, the moonlight filtering through the kitchen windows and illuminating his frame. The air pulses with something magical, something dream-like, and it muddles your vision. It’s the only explanation you have for why your chest tightens when he turns to face you, with a gaze filled with sadness, mourning, yearning.

“Jungkook’s height chart is still here,” he murmurs. The small nicks on the kitchen door frame are hard to see, and other people have mistaken them for signs of wear and tear. But he knows what they are because he was there when your mother had etched the first scratch.

He looks at your ancient dining table, his hand brushing over the surface. “This too,” he says, rubbing at a large burn mark on the wood.

“Mom made sure to use placemats after that. I didn’t think a sizzling plate would burn through the table like that,” you say, giggling as you reminisce. “You know, we still use your mom’s galbi jjim recipe. We haven’t found a better one.”

“I’m sure she would love to hear that,” Yoongi smiles, but it fades just as quickly. “It’s so… strange. Being here again and seeing that nothing really changed.”

But things did change. Upstairs, in your bedroom. That night, ten years ago.

You still remember what you had said to him, when you had said it to him, how you had said it to him.

It was a sunny afternoon, the time of day when you’d be on your way home from school. The two of you had stood in your room, neither of you wanting to sit because sitting meant staying, and staying only made this harder.

There hadn’t been many tears in that moment; those were shed only after the realization had sunk in, when you’d fully understood what had happened. At the time, the decision had been as easy as breathing.

Except you had both been drowning. The clock was ticking down to the end of high school, and the inevitable wasn’t slowing down.

Yoongi wanted to chase his dreams in Seoul. You wanted to stay closer to home, with your friends and family.

You weren’t going to be the one to hold him down. You weren’t going to be that person, not when he’s destined for greater things than his hometown could offer—not even a girl who loved him would be worth staying for.

He had suggested it, first. He had been prepared for you to cry, or maybe scream, but you did none of that. Instead, you pulled him close, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. You wanted to make it last, imprint the sensation onto your brain so that his warmth might stay with you, even after he’s little more than a distant memory. You trembled, terribly so, even though the beginnings of summer crept on your skin like a brand.

It’s time to let him go, Time whispered. You refused to listen, just for another moment.

Let me have this last moment, you beg. But Time refused to listen.

“Do you know?” Yoongi had spoken into your neck, had hoped his words would stain there. “Do you know how much I love you?”

Love, not loved. “I did,” you say. You think better of it. “I do.”

When you separated, for good this time, it had left an ache deeper than you could have ever imagined.

But you were young. Young love was supposed to hurt, but it wasn’t supposed to last. “You’ll find others,” your mother had said, brushing a soothing hand through your hair as you sobbed.

Then why? Then why has it lasted this long?

It has been a question you’ve asked yourself, and you’re starting to think that the answer has always been right in front of you.

The answer is standing in front of you: real, alive, close.

“Why didn’t you ever date again?” you ask. You ask even though you know he can lie, if he wants. He can tell you anything and you would believe him.

But he wouldn’t; you know he wouldn’t.

“I was afraid of closing a door that I never meant to close in the first place,” he says. His voice crackles like static, but that might be the blood rushing to your head. He moves toward you but keeps a hand’s width away. Still too far.

He continues. “After that day, when I left,” he swallows, “after I left, I think… I think I left a piece of me with you. A-and I don’t think I ever stopped…” he cuts off, exhaling shakily.

“Stopped what?” you breathe.

“You know.” He waves his hands around helplessly. They fall heavily back down to his sides, defeated. “You know?” he repeats.

You do. Because you are the same. The old wound had never healed; it burns and it bleeds like new.

Your skull feels like it’s stuffed with cotton when you close the distance between the two of you. He circles his arms around your waist, tentative, but he relaxes when you wind your arms around his neck. Your vision is warped, so you choose to close them. You wait, with bated breath, as his warmth inched closer and closer.

The sensation of his lips on yours jolts you back to your senses. His kiss reminds you of your youth, of a love that had made you excited to start your day. Even now, your body remembers, and it rejoices.

The tenderness does not last long before it turns fervent, tongue and teeth crashing like waves against the shore. If his kisses could speak, they would tell you stories of how much he missed you, of how much he mourned the time you had both lost. They would tell you of the days when he’d almost pressed your number onto his phone, of the nights when he’d stare at the polaroids he had kept of you.

They would ask if you still love him like he still loves you.

He tastes of desperation, and you are likely to be the same. It is a desperation you haven’t tasted in years—but it doesn’t feel scary like it used to. Time no longer feels like it’s racing against you, like you had something to prove before the hour was over. This reckless abandon feels like home against your skin—it is an ache being soothed after having ripped your scabs over and over again.

It’s Yoongi.

And when he pulls you to your room, he doesn’t even need his eyes to find his way as his feet still memorize the floorboards. He struggles with the doorknob, forgetting that it always jammed, but it’s okay because you can always teach him again. You can teach him everything again.

The bed creaks under your weights and even the mattress sounds like it is sighing in relief. That sigh echoes from your lips when his hand slips under your clothes, his palm stopping over your heart.

“I won’t break it, this time,” he says. He promises. “If you let me.”

You wonder if he can feel your heart soaring, pounding against your ribs. “I think the line has long been crossed to ask for my permission.” You place your hand over where his is laid. You squeeze tight.

This time, you don’t let him go.

[thirstybtsthoughts]

First of all! Love you, love your blog and love your thirst hours!💜 Second, hobi would totaly be the kind to softly play with his partners hair, smiling fondly at them with the most innocent and adoring gaze, while fingering them into oblivient absolutly loving the way he can make them fall apart!

Hi! Thank you! Love you too for sending me thirst!

Oh myyyyy I love this!! This is so Hobi and tbh I would welcome this kind of attack from his pretty fingers 🥵