#horseshoe mustache

[claydough61]

[lorenzodalessandro]

verylucky

http://instagram.com/lorenzodalessandro

[centrivoid]

Get HORSESHOE'D 🐎🐎

[dungeonbf]

mutuals should i kiss him…

[kits-ships]

Idk... I do think you may like this Johnny Storm guy🤭

(And don't worry he loves you toooo)

noo... no... i probmise i hate him :,( stink blonde guy :,(

[claydough61]

[trenchcrows]

Father is doing Movember which is great but Why Like That

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Mammalia - Chiroptera

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Our next order of mammals is Chiroptera, commonly called “bats.” Chiroptera is the second largest order of mammals after Rodentia. Bats comprise about 20% of all classified mammal species worldwide, with over 1,400 species. They are divided into the families Pteropodidae (“megabats”), Rhinopomatidae (“mouse-tailed bats”), Craseonycteridae (“Kitti's Hog-nosed Bat”), Megadermatidae (“false vampire bats”), Rhinonycteridae (“trident bats”), Hipposideridae (“Old World leaf-nosed bats”), Rhinolophidae (“horseshoe bats”), Nycteridae (“slit-faced bats”), Emballonuridae (“sac-winged bats” and “sheath-tailed bats”), Myzopodidae (“sucker-footed bats”), Mystacinidae (“New Zealand short-tailed bats”), Thyropteridae (“disk-winged bats”), Furipteridae (“Smoky Bat” and “Thumbless Bat”), Noctilionidae (“bulldog bats”), Mormoopidae (“ghost-faced bats”, “mustached bats”, and “naked-backed bats”), Phyllostomidae (“New World leaf-nosed bats”), Natalidae (“funnel-eared bats”), Molossidae (“free-tailed bats”), Miniopteridae (“long-fingered” and “bent-winged bats”), Cistugidae (“wing-gland bats”), and Vespertilionidae (“vesper bats”).

Bats are the only mammals capable of true and sustained flight, with their forelimbs adapted as wings. Their wings are a patagium of skin stretched between 4 fingers, with their thumbs pointing forward and supporting the leading edge of the wing. The wings of bats are much thinner and consist of more bones than the wings of birds, allowing bats to maneuver more accurately and fly with more lift and less drag. The surface of the wings is equipped with touch-sensitive receptors on small bumps called Merkel cells, also found on human fingertips. In bats, each of these bumps has a tiny hair in the center, making it even more sensitive and allowing the bat to detect and adapt to changing airflow. While bats are highly agile in the air, they can only crawl or drag themselves awkwardly across the ground, and most of their time not in the air is spent roosting upside down. However, a few species, such as the New Zealand Lesser Short-tailed Bat (Mystacina tuberculata) and the Common Vampire Bat (Desmodus rotundus) are able to walk or even run on all fours. Most bats are insectivores, and most of the rest are frugivores (fruit-eaters) or nectarivores (nectar-eaters). A few feed on vertebrates, such as the specialized blood-drinking vampire bats (subfamily Desmodontinae), the bird-hunting Greater Noctule Bat (Nyctalus lasiopterus), the fish-catching Greater Bulldog Bat (Noctilio leporinus), the frog-eating Fringe-lipped Bat (Trachops cirrhosus), and the Spectral Bat (Vampyrum spectrum) and Ghost Bat (Macroderma gigas) which sometimes feed on other bats. Carnivorous bats make use of echolocation for navigation and finding prey, while herbivorous bats use their more well-developed eyesight. Apart from the Arctic, the Antarctic and a few isolated oceanic islands, bats exist in almost every habitat on Earth.

Some bats lead solitary lives, while others live in colonies of millions. In some, the females live in groups while the males are solitary, or males and females will live in separate groups. Most species are polygynous, where males mate with multiple females. Some species are promiscuous, where both sexes mate with multiple partners. A few species form monogamous pairs. Female bats use a variety of strategies to control the timing of pregnancy and the birth of young, to make delivery coincide with maximum food ability and other ecological conditions. In most bat species, females carry and give birth to a single pup per litter. The young emerges rear-first, possibly to prevent the wings from getting tangled, and the female cradles it in her wing and tail membranes. In social species, females give birth and raise their young in maternity colonies and may assist each other in birthing. A few species also assist in suckling other mothers’ young. Most of the care for a bat pup comes from the mother, but in monogamous species, the father will also play a role in childcare.

The fragile skeletons of bats do not fossilize well, but Chiroptera is assumed to have arisen in the Eocene. The oldest known bat fossils include Archaeonycteris praecursor and Altaynycteris aurora (55–56 million years ago), both known only from isolated teeth. The oldest complete bat skeleton is Icaronycteris gunnelli (52 million years ago).

Propaganda under the cut:

The eyes of most carnivorous bat species are small and poorly developed, leading to poor visual acuity, but no species is truly blind. Microbats may use their vision for orientation and while travelling between their roosting grounds and feeding grounds, as echolocation is effective only over short distances. Some species can even detect ultraviolet (UV) light.

The smallest mammal in the world is the Kitti's Hog-nosed Bat (Craseonycteris thonglongyai), also known as the Bumblebee Bat (though the the Etruscan Shrew [Suncus etruscus] is smaller by body mass). An adult Kitti's Hog-nosed Bat is about 29 to 33 mm (1.1 to 1.3 in) in length and weighs around 2 g (0.071 oz).

On the other wing, the largest bat in the world is the Giant Golden-crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus) which can reach a weight of 1.6 kg (3.5 lb) and has a wingspan of 1.7 m (5 ft 7 in).

Bat dung is mined as guano from caves and used as a highly effective fertilizer due to the high content of nitrogen, phosphate, and potassium, all key nutrients essential for plant growth. Bat guano also contains fine particles of insect exoskeleton, which are largely composed of chitin. Chitin from insect exoskeletons is an essential compound needed by beneficial soil fungi, as chitin is a major component of fungal cell wall membranes. This fungi then improves soil fertility. However, unsustainable harvesting of bat guano may cause bats to abandon their roost. Many cave ecosystems are wholly dependent on bats to provide nutrients via their guano which supports bacteria, fungi, invertebrates, and vertebrates in the cave. The loss of bats from a cave can result in the extinction of species that rely on their guano.

The extinct bats Palaeochiropteryx tupaiodon and Hassianycteris kumari, both of which lived 48 million years ago, are the first fossil mammals whose colorations have been discovered. Both were reddish-brown.

The fastest flying bat, the Mexican Free-tailed Bat (Tadarida brasiliensis), can achieve a ground speed of 160 km/h (100 mph)!

Mexican Free-tailed Bats are one of the few species to "sing" like birds. Males sing to attract females.

Greater Bulldog Bats (Noctilio leporinus) “honk” to warn each other when they may be about to collide.

Carnivorous bats make use of magnetoreception, in that they have a high sensitivity to the Earth's magnetic field, like birds. These bats use a polarity-based compass, meaning that they differentiate North from South, unlike birds, which use the strength of the magnetic field to differentiate latitudes.

Scientists reported in January 2025 that they had discovered how some bats travel hundreds of miles in the spring to give birth in warmer temperatures: they surf storm fronts.

The Spotted Bat (Euderma maculatum) can travel as much as 38.5 km (24 mi) in one night in search of food.

Many species of plants depend on bats for seed dispersal. The Jamaican Fruit Bat (Artibeus jamaicensis) has been recorded carrying fruits weighing 3–14 g or even as much as 50 g.

Nectar-eating bats have acquired specialised adaptations. These bats possess long muzzles and long, extensible tongues covered in fine bristles that aid them in feeding on particular flowers and plants. These long, narrow tongues can reach deep into the long cup shape of some flowers. When the tongue retracts, it coils up inside the rib cage. The Tube-lipped Nectar Bat (Anoura fistulata) has the longest tongue of any mammal relative to its body size.

Around 500 species of flowering plant rely on bat pollination. Because of this, some of these flowers have adapted to only open their flowers at night.

Due to the specialized metabolism of Vampire Bats (subfamily Desmodontinae) they are highly susceptible to starvation if they fail to feed within 70 hours. To combat this, vampire bats engage in reciprocal altruism, and will feed each other by regurgitating blood. If a bat cannot find food two nights in a row, due to injury, illness, or simple unluckiness, one of its colony mates may feed it. Vampire bats who are more “popular” in the colony may be fed more often.

White-nose syndrome (WNS) is a fungal disease in North American bats which has resulted in the dramatic decrease of the bat population in the United States and Canada, killing millions and causing a 90% decline in some areas. The condition is named for a distinctive fungal growth of Pseudogymnoascus destructans around the muzzles and on the wings of hibernating bats. It is likely the fungus was brought to North America from Europe by cavers who didn’t wash their equipment. Bats in Europe seem to be resistant to the fungus. The Forest Service estimated in 2008 that the die-off from white-nose syndrome means that at least 2.4 million pounds (1.1 million kg or 1,100 tons) of insects will go uneaten, possibly leading to crop damage or having other economic impact.

It has been estimated that bats save the agricultural industry of the United States anywhere from $3.7 billion to $53 billion per year in pesticides and damage to crops. This also prevents the overuse of pesticides, which can pollute the surrounding environment, and may lead to resistance in future generations of insects.

Homosexual relations have been observed in the Bonin Flying Fox (Pteropus pselaphon) and the Indian Flying Fox (Pteropus medius).

The Christmas Island Pipistrelle (Pipistrellus murrayi) was declared extinct in 2009. This extinction was likely caused by introduced, invasive species such as Domestic Cats (Felis catus), Black Rats (Rattus rattus), Common Wolf Snakes (Lycodon capucinus), and Yellow Crazy Ants (Anoplolepis gracilipes). The bats could have also been poisoned by the insecticide Fipronil, used to control Yellow Crazy Ant Colonies.

In China, bats have been associated with happiness, joy, and good fortune. Five bats are used to symbolise the "Five Blessings": longevity, wealth, health, love of virtue, and peaceful death.

A new threat to bats has arisen in the form of bat taxidermy. Bat taxidermy, where bats are either mounted in glass, encased in resin, articulated as a skeleton, or simply stuffed, is growing in popularity as “quirky” decor. However, many sellers will claim to be ethical when they are not, and are actually catching and killing bats to meet the rising demand of this new market. In some cases, entire caves will be gassed so that the bat carcasses can be harvested by the thousands. Many of the bat species used for oddity decor are declining or even endangered. The transport of bat carcasses overseas has also been linked to the spread of disease.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Reference: Facial Hair

Chinstrap beard - Features full sideburns and a beard, but no mustache. It was part of the signature look of Abraham Lincoln, who famously grew out his facial hair at the request of 11-year-old Grace Bedell. She promised Lincoln she would try to get her four brothers to vote for him if only he would grow a beard. “All the ladies like whiskers,” Grace wrote to Lincoln.

Five o'clock shadow - The stubble that appears on a man’s face, typically in the late afternoon, if he shaved that same morning. A very short beard is also called a five o’clock shadow.

Fu Manchu - This term describing a mustache with ends that droop to the chin or beyond is named after the character Dr. Fu Manchu, a master criminal from the novels of Sax Rohmer. These novels were made into popular films in the 1920s and ’30s, and the term took off from there.

Goatee - First starting growing on human chins in the mid-19th century. This Americanism got its name from its likeness to the tuft of hair that grows from a goat’s chin.

Handlebar mustache - Marked by its long curved ends. Its resemblance to a bicycle handlebar gives it its name. Famous wearers include surrealist artist Salvador Dali and fictional Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot.

Horseshoe mustache - Grows down from the upper lips to the chin in two thick vertical lines, thought to resemble a horseshoe.

Muttonchops - sideburns that resemble pieces of mutton growing out from under the ears, down to the jaw. Though this style is sure to be spotted in any Pride and Prejudice adaptation, the word didn’t come about until the mid-1800s, more than 30 years after Austen died.

Pencil mustache - Ultra-thin mustache that sits neatly above the upper lip and requires impeccable upkeep.

Sideburns - Though this retro style is associated with the 1970s, the word sideburns entered English almost 100 years earlier. This eponymic fuzz is named after Civil War general Ambrose Burnside, who sported sideburns, or as they were first called, burnsides, so long they connected to his mustache.

Vandyke beard - The 17th-century Flemish painter Anthony Vandyke is perhaps just as famous for his portraits of the aristocracy as he is for his short, pointed beard paired with a thick, upturned mustache.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[bittersweetsin]

⋆.˚✮Johnny Knoxville✮˚.⋆

y’all don’t understand how badly I need horseshoe mustache Johnny

[reincarnationoftheparty]

I remember this was the gif that did me in. Before this gif ever showed up into my life, not only did I fall in love with this era of James, but horseshoe mustaches in general. I’ll never EVER go back.

[claydough61]

[08melancholie]

unpopular micah bell opinion — hes so ugly clean shaven :( i cant stand it i just love his little horseshoe mustache too much to let it go

[smoketransformer]

New Haircut, New You

Most men don’t go to Sid’s Barbershop; but the ones who were rugged, rough and tough. Sid matched his clients; he had grey muttonchops and with a matching grey pompadour. When he was not cutting one of his loyal client’s hairs, he was seen outside his shop, always wearing a white tank top that showed off his tattoo, while always having a cigarette dangling.

Once in awhile, not one of his regulars wonders in looking for a fresh cut - but they leave a whole new man. It was how he kept his business open; he created his clients.

As a young man who Sid had never seen before approached his shop in a hurry, he knew he was about to get one more loyal customer. Sid stood outside his shop, smoking his Marlboro Red cigarette, as the young man speed past him. The young man was moving his hand in front of his face to wave Sid’s smoke out of the way. “Excuse me,” the young man said and he quickly entered the shop.

Sid finished his smoke and walked inside, “What can I do for ya today?” His voice was raspy and deep, from all the years of smoking.

The young man replied, “Oh, you’re the owner?”

“Yup - I’m Sid.”

The young man went quiet. He looked like he was thinking and potentially weighing his options. “Look, I have a job interview this afternoon and I need a haircut and fresh shave. Every other place is booked, so you’re my only option. Can you make me look professional and not like…well, like you?”

His comment pissed Sid. He stared the young man down.

“Sorry - that was rude. Just a bit stressed. I need to look good for my interview,” the young man insincerely apologized.

“Don’t worry - I’ll make sure you will look just right for your interview,” Sid assured with a grin, “Take a seat.”

The young man sat in the barber’s chair. He had a decent sized beard and long brown hair. He smiled at Sid, but it was a nervous one.

“What’s your name, kid?” Sid asked as prepared his clippers and razor.

“Jackson,” he replied.

“Tell me about your interview. What type of job is it?” Sid pried. He wanted to know the type of life Jackson lived, so that he could cut away at it.

“For a law firm. I’m wrapping up law school and got a last minute interview at one of the biggest law firms in the city,” Jackson smugly said.

“Good for you,” Sid said as he walked to the shop door and locked it. This process needed no interruptions. Sid walked to Jackson in the chair and pressed a secret switch on the chair, causing metal straps to go around Jackson’s legs and arms.

“What the hell?” Jackson shouted.

“You see, you aren’t ever going to be a lawyer. Not after I’m through with you,” Sid said as he reached for his pack of Reds, “Just relax and look in the mirror; it will make it all that much easier.”

“Let me go!” Jackson yelled, “Help! Help!” Sid proceeded to his jukebox that sat in the cornered and then hit “play”. A deep humming come from the speakers.

Sid lit his cigarette and Jackson shot a glance in the mirror, which caused him to stop yelling. He was now in a trance.

“Now I got you,” Sid said to him, as smoke was bellowing out of his nose, “Hope you don’t mind my smoke, not that you have a choice.”

“It’s fine,” Jackson mumbled.

“Good. You actually like it, don’t you?”

“I actually do,” Jackson agreed.

Jackson was now lost. His will was in the hands of Sid.

“Now, what type of cut would you like?” Sid asked the tranced man.

“Ummm…” Jackson replied in daze.

“Didn’t you want a mohawk?” Sid asked as his Red dangled.

“Oh yeah…” Jackson mumbled as he stared at himself in the mirror. This was the last time Jackson would see himself like this, but he didn’t know that. He had no thoughts at all.

“With a nice horseshoe mustache?” Sid added.

“That sounds right,” Jackson replied.

Sid started buzzing Jackson’s hair into a mohawk. “Why were you getting this haircut again?”

Jackson was silent. He didn’t know why he was there or why he was having such a drastic hairstyle change.

“Wasn’t it for an interview?” Sid asked as he cut.

“I’m…not sure…I think so…I just don’t know where at,” Jackson answered as he was transfixed on the mirror, seeing his new self.

“Well, it must not have been that important of an interview if you can’t remember,” Sid said and then exhaled some smoke in Jackson’s face.

Jackson inhaled all the smoke in his lungs during his hypnotic state, creating a forever crave and addiction to nicotine

After finishing cutting and shaving Jackson’s hair into a mohawk, Sid moved on to his beard. He shaved only the cheeks and chin, leaving a horseshoe mustache.

Jackson was not recognizable. He was almost a new man.

Sid thought of an idea. Sure, this guy was cocky and rude, but he also just left him out of a job opportunity. He was getting a lot more business and he was getting older. He couldn’t keep up with all the chores around the shop, such as sweeping hair and cleaning around. He needed a barbershop boy.

“Jax…do you mind me calling you Jax?” Sid asked.

“No, I prefer it…” the man now known as Jax replied. Jax was starting to get angsty. He had a new craving that he needed to fill.

“Well Jax, would you like to work here for me as your boss? I need someone like you to work for me,” Sid offered.

“Yes, boss,” Jax answered.

“Wonderful,” Sid said as he pulled out a chain necklace and placed it around Jax’s neck. Jax was now collared to both Sid and his barbershop, “You’re hired.”

Sid hit the button on the chair and the metal straps retracted.

“Thanks boss for the cut, I look good,”

“You sure do, Jax. My employees have to look good for me,” Sid added.

“Mind if I bum a smoke off you, boss? Forgot my pack at home,” Jax asked as he got up from the chair.

“Take the pack out of my leather jacket on the coat rack by the door. Actually, you can have the jacket. Consider it as part of your uniform now,” Sid insisted.

Jax put the jacket on and grabbed the pack of Marlboro Reds. He naturally pulled one out with his lips and headed outside, “I’ll be back in ten after I smoke a couple, then I’ll get to sweeping.”

[horny4hetfield]

Getting Business Done

On man!  I can see how this can become addictive!!!    I hope y’all like this one!!!

Warnings: Smut, Unprotected sex, slight degrading and confrontation, NSFW

You are very happy in your job.  You’d been there for several years.  Your boss, James, is a good looking – hell – handsome man.  Standing 6’1” with silvered short cut hair, horseshoe mustache, heavily tattooed, he could be an imposing figure.  Until he smiled.  It was always bright and his bluer than blue eyes would sparkle.  Both of you had been through some tough times.  His divorce.  Your long term relationship ending.  Having to move the company office due to water damage.

Then came the contract that on the surface looked to be a dream deal.  You, James and his business partner Chad, have spent numerous late nights in the conference room going over every word in the contract.  Finally, the day the customer was to come into the office to sign the deal arrived.  James had promised everyone that should this deal get signed, he was taking everyone out to dinner.  Studying your closet, you select the lacey purple dress.  Since it was July, the short skirt would be acceptable.  Somewhere in the back of your mind, you hope that James likes it too.  Quickly collecting your work things you hurry to get to the office.  You end up parking your car next to the huge black tuck that belongs to James.  You collect your things, get out of the car, lock it and get to your desk just inside the front door.  Your computer is just finishing powering up when you hear James walk up behind you.

“Hey, do you think this paragraph is really correct?” he sets down the stack of papers on your desk, pointing to the words in question, his other large hand resting gently between your exposed shoulder blades.  You really have to concentrate on the words and not the feeling of his hand on your back.  Pulling up the document on your computer you get to the paragraph in question.  You do a quick read through and make some edits.

“Does this work better?”

James flips the papers over grabs a pen and scribbles some changes.  You quickly make them.  He leans over you again to read the paragraph.  His cologne is just enough to be alluring. Looking sideways at him, his lips curl up into a radiant smile.

“That’s it!”

Hitting the print icon, “It’s on the printer!” 

He pats your back and leaves your desk area “I’ll go get it!”

You watch James go down the hallway.  You can’t help yourself.  He’s wearing the black jeans that just fit his ass perfectly.  The cowboy boots are perfect.  A white button down shirt with the rolled up sleeves exposing his tattooed forearms.  Your heart flutters.

The front door flies open and in walks the customer.

“Mr. Mancini, welcome to ….”

Mr Mancini almost throws his phone at you.  “You need to fix my travel!”  You take a step back as his face is filled with rage.  “I hate that airline!  And where is my coffee!  I told you to have my coffee waiting!”

You start out calmly, “Mr Mancini, I didn’t do your travel, but I will see what I can do …”

“You will fix it!  And get my coffee now!”  He’s yelling at you full volume.  In all your years of working, no one has yelled in a rage at you.  “I said now!”  Mr Mancini manages to land a backhanded swipe across your left check. 

It sends you stumbling into the short file cabinet behind your desk where you collapse to the ground.  Your head reeling.  From down the hallway you hear Chad yelling and a roar that can only come from James.  Chad is pushing the customer back.  James leaps the countertop of your desk to plant one foot on either side of you, hugging you with his lower legs.

“Chad if you want this contract, it’s yours.  But I want nothing to do with that man.”  The tone in James’ voice is one you’ve never heard him use before.  Low.  Growl.  Dangerous.  Leaning down, James tenderly puts his hands on your shoulders making you jump slightly.  “Hey”  His voice now a gentle rumble next to your ear.  “Can you stand up for me?”  You are shaking to your core and can’t move.  Gently lifting you, James collects you into his arms and bulldozes his way out the front door, leaving the shouting voices behind.

Taking you to his truck, he balances you on his knee while he opens the passenger door.  He hoists you into the passenger seat and secures the seatbelt.  Making sure that you are completely inside, he closes your door.  Moments later he’s in the driver’s seat and the truck roars to life. 

You are totally numb.  He tenderly grasps your left wrist, “Hey” his voice a gentle rumble, “stay with me.”

Your eyes lock onto his tattooed hand.  The warmth of his fingers are slowly warming your cold arm.  “What did I do wrong?” comes out in a squeak.

His fingers gently squeeze, “Nothing.  You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

The tears start to fall.  You can’t stop them.  You’re afraid to move.  Moving would let the dam break.

His voice a comfort, “I’m taking you to my place.  You don’t need to be alone right now.”  The truck makes a right turn, “Don’t worry.  I got you.”  It seems like moments later the truck pulls into his driveway.  He jumps out and pops open your door.  Undoing your seat belt, James scoops you out of the big vehicle, kicks that door closed and carries you inside.  He kicks off his boots just inside the garage door.

You barely notice where you are.  You are only acutely aware of being in James’ arms.  The warmth he radiates.  The rumble of his voice.  The hints of clean cotton shirt, his cologne and cigar from his neck as you rest your head on his shoulder. 

He sinks into the sofa, which puts you squarely in his lap.  He gingerly brushes a stray bit of hair from your face.  “You are safe now.”  That simple declaration opens the flood gates.  Your sobs are uncontrollable.  James just wraps you up in his arms securely.  “Let it out.”  He tenderly tucks you closer to him, “It’s ok” he coos into your hair.  He gently strokes your hair.  Your sobs slowly ease to hiccupping, then to sniffles.  The shoulder of his shirt now soaking wet.

James, holding you even tighter to his chest, leans over to the sofa table, collects the tissue box, sits back and hands you several.  Turning your head away, you blow your nose.  He gently wipes away the tear streaks down your cheeks with his thumbs.  His fingers gently lift your chin, “Let me see.”  His blue eyes filled with concern.  You let him turn your head.  His fingers gently touch your cheek.  Your face still being tender from being slapped, you flinch slightly.  He cups your head in both his hands and pulls you closer, “No bruise.”  His lips press tenderly to your forehead.

You pull back, blinking slowly, looking into his big blue eyes seeing the concern shift to – well – something more.  The denied tension inside you bubbles up flushing all other feelings away.  You take a shuddering shallow breath as he leans in closer, his eyes locked on yours.  You meet his lips.

A silent explosion happens between the two of you.  You both feed from the other.  His hand cups your head and his other arm wraps around you holding you close to his chest.  Your arms wrap around his shoulders and neck.  You are both panting when the kiss slowly breaks.

Almost in a whisper, “HR isn’t going to like this.”

A smirk spreads across his face, “I can fix that.”  He kisses you again, “You’re fired.”  A longer kiss.

“Ok.”  You relax into his arms.

He shifts you off his lap forcing your legs to pop up.  “Where are my shoes?”

His eyebrows scrunch up, “Maybe in the truck.”  He gently shifts your legs so he can stand.  Holding out his hands to you, you stand.  James gently pulls you toward him.  His fingers softly caress your arms, up over your shoulders, down your back – slowly unzipping your dress at the same time.  A shiver runs through your body.  You rest your hands on his waist.  At the end of the zipper, James fingers start working up your back, slowly pulling your dress open.  He pauses for just a moment when he expertly unhooks your bra.  His fingers pull both clothing articles off your shoulders.  They puddle around your bare feet.  Leaving you standing in front of this imposing man naked – save for the lacey purple thong.  Locking your eyes to his, you hook your thumbs into the waistband.

James’ hands quickly covers your, “I’ll get to that” his lips silence yours “In a moment.”

Your hands ghost up James arms.  His large hands rest on your naked waist.  Your fingers trace their way to the buttons on James’ shirt.  You undo the top button.  James’ fingers are making lazy circles on your hips.  The second button is undone.  You pull the fabric open and kiss the bit of his chest newly exposed.  He inhales sharply.  Another button undone.  Another kiss to his chest.  Another hitched breath.  Reaching behind him, you untuck his shirt from his jeans.  James grabs his shirt and yanks it open, the remaining buttons pop off in all directions.  You run your hands up his body to his shoulders pushing the ruined fabric from his body where it joins your dress on the ground.

You take a half step back, but James’ arms pull you back into his body.  His lips crash into yours.  Your arms wrap around his now bare back.  Your palms plant on his skin pulling him closer to you.  You can feel his erection pressing against his jeans.  His chest hairs gently rub against your very erect nipples.  Your loins flutter in response as a whimper escapes you.

Not breaking the kiss, James lifts you and carries you from the living room to his bedroom.  Kneeling up onto the bed, he lays you out under him.  His lips not breaking from yours.

Finally pulling away from your mouth, James kneels up.  His eyes drinking in your body.  His hands exploring your curves.  “You are beautiful” he breathes.

Reaching up, you undo his belt buckle and pull the leather from his pants and toss it aside.  The belt buckle clatters on the tile flooring.  James reaches to undo his jeans, but you gently push his hands away.  Smiling down at you, James lets you have your way.

Running your hands down his hips to his thighs, you feel his body respond to your hands.  James sighs deeply. Slowly your hands move to the front of James’ thighs just above his knees and slowly up.  Your fingers find his erection held in check by the fabric of his jeans.  Firm.  Strong. Throbbing.  You palm slowly up his cock.  James sucks in a sharp breath.

Pushing your arms to the side, he leans over you.  Planting his hands on either side of your body, kissing you.  He slowly lowers his body over yours.  You whimper.  “Just wait” he smiles at you.  “You can have that soon enough.”  His kisses slowly move down your neck to your chest.  “You first” he whispers into your ear.  You whimper as your pinned hips try to buck up into his.  He moves slowly down your body.  Kissing.  Nibbling.  Sucking.  Licking.  Making you moan and whimper as he leaves his love marks on your flesh.

He positions himself on his stomach between your legs.  His eyes lock on yours, his grin deliciously evil.  You wiggle your hips silently begging.  Resting on his elbows, his hands cup your butt and lift your hips to his mouth.  His gaze shifts from your eyes to look hungarily at your sopping wet thong.  He inhales deeply about half an inch from you making you whimper in anticipation. 

Flipping your legs over his shoulders frees his hands.  He pulls his knife from his back pocket.  Your eyes open wider at the blade when he snaps it open.

“I have wondered if the carpet matches the drapes” he chuckles.  The sharp blade slices the waistband easily of your thong.  James closes the blade and tosses the blade in the general direction his belt went.  Your hands fly to cover your crotch as James literally sucks the fabric from your body.  He groans in ectasy as he savors your essence from the fabric.  He spits the destroyed garment to the side.  Opening his eyes, he sees your hands covering your privates.  He looks curiously up at you.  Seeing the twinkle in your eyes, he smiles and kisses your knuckles, “Please?"”

Grinning and wiggling a little, “What do you think?” biting your lower lip at him.

Gently licking your knuckles, “They match” he chuckles.

Smiling, you move your hands, “Ta dah!”

His eyes open wide, “Ahhh!  Bare floors!”  Kissing your pubic bone, “Why?”  His fingers squeeze your ass cheeks.

Letting your fingers caress his face, “Personal preference.  I just don’t like hair … there.”

James sends his tongue in a long slow lick from your taint to your clit making your hips thrust up into his face, pulling a long groan from you.  Licking his lips, his blues eyes catch yours, “Yeah.  Hair would just get in the way.”  He lowers his mouth back down and his tongue starts exploring your sex.  His licks, swirls, suckings and tender nibbles render you unable to form a coherent word.

As the tension in you builds, he lowers your hips to the bed, wrapping his arms under your legs up over your thighs so that his hands grasp your hips, locking you in place.  The sudden inability to move intensifies the sensations that James is doing to your nether regions.  A few expert licks from James’ tongue sends you over the edge.  Your body tries to buck against the restraint James’ hands have your body. Your vision blurs and the moan becomes a scream of release.  His tongue keeps working your clit, overstimulating you to the point where you can longer move.  Panting.  Barely able to move.  Vision blurred.  You are only aware of his mouth on your cunt.

James slowly pulls away from your overstimulated clit.  He presses feather soft kisses on your inner thighs.  Slowly he releases his hold on your hips.  You are weak from release.  James slowly works his way up your body leaving a blazing trail of kisses, licks, nibbles and hickies on your flesh.  It feels like he is reviving your body with the intensity of his lips.

Your eyes flutter open to find his bright blue eyes directly in front of you.  Your arms don’t want to respond, so you crunch up and lock your lips to his.  James kisses you back with a passion that reaches deep into you – to your very soul.  His eyes fill with everything his kiss gives to you.  Passion.  Desire.  Wants.  Needs.  Lust.  You two feed off that kiss.

Recovering, you realize that he has shed his jeans.  His naked body is pressed against yours.  His erection is twitching at your dripping opening.  Your fingers find his face, tracing his eyebrows, down his nose, his mustache.  His lips kiss your fingertips, gently sucking on the pads of your fingers.  Reaching between your bodies he teases your clit with dripping end of his cock leaving you moaning and wiggling under his torturous teasings.  The only words you can barely utter “James, please.”

James grins at you and slowly pushes the head into your soaked pussy.  The size slowly filling you makes you suck in a deep breath, your eyes flaring wide.

“Shh, shh” James coos at you as he pauses.  “Breath” he whispers.

It takes you a few moments to adjust to the feeling of him stretching deep inside you.  Once the discomfort dissipates, you rock your hips up and hook a leg around his waist, your heel digging into his ass forcing him still deeper into you.  This action makes you both inhale deeply. 

James plants both his hands above your shoulders.  His knees nudge up tight against your hips, forcing him still deeper into you.  He lowers his face down to the crook of your neck, his panting breath warm on your flesh.  You can tell he’s holding back.  Waiting on you.  Wrapping your arms around him, you turn your face to his ear right by your lips.  Kissing his ear, you whisper, “yes.”

James’ groan reverberates through your body as he slowly starts moving his hips.  His shaft gets impossibly thicker, stretching and filling you as never before.  At first, James’ movements are slow.  You can feel every vein in his cock, the shape of the head as he slowly moves in and out of your tight hole.  His voice growls in your ear “You are so tight.”  He grunts as his cock drives slowly into you “So wet.”

Your fingers dig into his back, clutching his neck.  You tighten your leg around his waist “All for you” as he dives deeper.  He growls louder and sinks his teeth into your shoulder.

Arching your back, you cry out in both ectasy and pain.  You use all your strength to hold his head close to your neck.  Jame’s teeth tighten on your shoulder.  He keeps a steady rhythm pounding his hips against yours.  The pressure building in you.  The room is filled with the sounds of wet flesh slapping wet flesh as he pounds away in you.  The obscene sound of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy.  Both of you are reduced to primal grunts and groans.  You rake your nails down his back.  Letting go of your shoulder, he lifts his head roaring, his hips slamming even harder into you.  You reach down and claw his ass.  He cries out again.  His thrusts slamming you into his arms above your shoulders, holding you for his pounding pleasure.

The orgasms crash into you both at the same time.  The gummy walls of your cunt squeeze his cock intensely as his cum fills you.  James manages a few jagged thrusts before calming and slowly lowering his weight on to your body.  His softening cock slides from within you.  You can feel the warm mix of your climaxes seeping out.

His hands caress you.  Starting with your hair.  Slowly touching your face.  His fingers gently closing your eyelids.  “Just feel” he whispers into your ear.  His fingers glide gently over your neck, over your shoulder.  As they move over your bicep, sleep grabs hold and pulls you under.

A gentle rumble in your ribs pulls you back to wakefulness.  Your left arm is over your head, your right hand is draped over James left arm – which is wrapped around your ribs.  He is sound asleep, his face burrowed into your left side.  The top of his head pressed into your armpit – keeping you from lowering that arm.  His left leg is up over your hips.  Your legs dangle over his right thigh.

You have not felt this way – safe – in ages.  You softly trace the intricate tattoos on James’ left forearm.  He snorfels into your ribs which tickles and makes you giggle.  He tightens his hold on your ribs and blows mouth farts on your side.  You squeal in laughter.  He blows another.  “Stop!  I gotta pee!” you cry out in laughter.

Rising up on his elbow, a smile spreads across his face to his eyes.  James leans over you planting a kiss on you.  He releases his hold on you, “Bathroom is that way” he points.

Slipping off the bed you make your way to the door indicated.  Finding the toilet in it’s own little room, you sigh in relief.  Washing your hands after, you quickly return to the bedroom. 

James passes you “My turn” landing a backhand smack to your bare ass.

You stretch out on the bed.  James returns and spoons up behind you, pulling you into his body.  Kissing your neck, “Oh shit.  I bruised you.”  You can feel his fingers tracing out the spot on your neck.

“That will cover up ok.”  You roll to your back within his arms.  “At least you didn’t draw blood.”

Shaking his head, “Not my thing.”

Smiling, you pull his face closer and kiss him.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” James grins at you.

Doing an exaggerated pout, “I got fired.”

James, trying to be serious, “I know a guy.  I could put in a good word for you.”

A wicked smile grows on your face.  “That’s sweet.  But …”  Leading with your hips, you manage to roll him to his back letting the momentum carry you up on top of him.  “There’s a new position I thought I’d try for.”  You grind your dampening crotch into his quickly growing erection.

“Oh!  That’s interesting.”

Reaching between your bodies, you place his cockhead at your entrance, “I hear the interview is very penetrating” as you slowly sink down his length, stretching your depths.

James groans and pulls down on your hips, driving deeper into you.  “Well, that’s a great opening” he manages.  Using your Kegels, you grip his cock, squeezing and releasing.  He groans again.

James thrusts his hips up, overbalancing you.  Catching yourself on his shoulders – your left hand sliding off and landing by his neck.  James cups the back of your head and kisses you as you keep your actions working his cock.  Breaking the kiss, “That’s great multi-tasking abilities” he hisses.

Planting both your hands on his chest, you sit back up driving him deeper into your wetness.

Feeling his response, you speed up the rhythm.  His eyes roll back as you can feel his cock twitch inside you.  James reaches for your clit, but you grab his hands, “uh huh.  This is all for you.”  A few more strategic grinds and Kegels and he is undone.  With grunts and groans he fills your insides, your gummy walls milking every drop out of him.

James’ hands caress up your sides gently urging you down to his side.  He kisses your forehead, “You’re hired” he smirks.  You kiss his face and neck.  He lazily wraps his arms around you and heaves a sigh.  There you two linger. 

Then with a speed and agility you didn’t know he had, you are caught off guard as you find yourself on your stomach, he is behind you, his knees have knocked yours wide and you are impaled by his cock slamming back into your still dripping cunt.  His large hands pulling you tight against his body.

You can feel his chest hairs grazing your back as he leans over you, “Now.”  He slams into you again, “Let’s talk benefits.”

Only one word barely escapes your lips “ok!”

[bestanimal]

Round 2 Final Stats:

Previously I said any group to earn over 900 points will move on to Round 3, however, I’m going to make it the Top 10 just to make it even. Plus, what’s an extra two species?

For the final stats, I’ve made a little graphic with some doodles to remind y’all what each class is. (Couldn’t use emojis for everyone because, alas, there are not enough unique ones to represent all these animal groups!) The full list is typed out under the read more though, as well as the extra stats for this round!

The top classes (or phylogenetic equivalents) have been ranked thusly, listed here from highest ranking to lowest:

🦈 Chondrichthyes ~ 1,509

🐀 Mammalia ~ 1,437

🐍 Reptilia ~ 1,183

🐙 Cephalopoda ~ 1,175

🐸 Lissamphibia ~ 1,002

🐠 Actinopterygii ~ 983

🦀 Malacostraca ~ 954

🕷 Arachnida ~ 913

🐞 Insecta ~ 908

Actinistia ~ 853

🐌 Gastropoda ~ 796

🫁 Dipnoi ~ 598

🦪 Bivalvia ~ 507

Myxini ~ 492

Chilopoda ~ 479

Branchiopoda ~ 443

Polyplacophora ~ 427

Petromyzontida ~ 412

Pycnogonida ~ 405

Copepoda ~ 308

Ascidiacea ~ 394

Diplopoda ~ 393

Ostracoda ~ 278

Collembola ~ 272

Thecostraca ~ 253

Pauropoda ~ 246

Appendicularia ~ 229

Leptocardii ~ 222

Remipedia ~ 194

Symphyla ~ 166

Solenogastres ~ 164

Tergomya ~ 158

Scaphopoda ~ 142

Tantulocarida ~ 139

Cephalocarida ~ 134

Mystacocarida ~ 115

Caudofoveata ~ 110

Diplura ~ 94

Protura ~ 83

Ichthyostraca ~ 83

Our Top 10 Classes are Chondrichthyes, Mammalia, Reptilia, Cephalopoda, Lissamphibia, Actinopterygii, Malacostraca, Arachnida, Insecta, and Actinistia!

This means Chondrichthyes, Mammalia, Reptilia, Cephalopoda, Lissamphibia, Actinopterygii, Malacostraca, Arachnida, Insecta, and Actinistia will be moving on to Round 3, and broken up by Order (or some other phylogenetic equivalent).

Extra Stats:

Arthropod Class Pycnogonida (“sea spiders”)

~ was the first group of Round 2

~ was the first arthropod group of Round 2

~ had the highest amount of dislikes at 20

~ had the highest amount of hates at 5

Arthropod Class Symphyla (“garden centipedes”)

~ had the highest percentage of likes at 45%

Arthropod Class Ichthyostraca (“fish lice” and “tongue worms”)

~ had the highest percentage of dislikes at 9.1%

~ had the highest percentage of hates at 2.6%

Arthropod Class Mystacocarida (“mustache shrimp”)

~ had the lowest amount of loves at 13

~ had the lowest percentage of loves at 7.9%

~ had 0 hates

~ had the least reblogs at 8

~ had the least notes at 21

Arthropod Class Ostracoda (“seed shrimp”)

~ had 0 hates

~ received exactly 200 votes

Arthropod Class Copepoda (copepods)

~ had 0 hates

Arthropod Class Malacostraca (“crabs”, “lobsters”, “shrimp”, etc)

~ had the third most reblogs at 55

~ had the highest percentage of loves at 52.8%

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ was the highest ranked Arthropod class

Arthropod Class Tantulocarida (tantulocarids)

~ had the highest amount of neutral votes at 91, along with Caudofoveata

Arthropod Class Cephalocarida (“horseshoe shrimp”)

~ had 0 hates

Arthropod Class Remipedia (remipedes)

~ had 0 hates

Arthropod Class Collembola (“springtails”)

~ had 0 hates

Arthropod Class/Order Protura (“coneheads”)

~ had the least votes at 125

~ had the lowest amount of favorites at 1

~ had the lowest percentage of favorites at 0.8%

~ had 0 hates

Arthropod Class Insecta (insects)

~ had 0 dislikes

Chordate Class Leptocardii (“lancelets”)

~ was the first Chordate group of Round 2

~ had 0 hates

Chordate Class Ascidiacea/Thaliacea (“sea squirts”, “salps”, “pyrosomes”, etc.)

~ had 0 hates

Chordate Class Appendicularia (“larvaceans”)

~ had 0 hates

Chordate Class Chondrichthyes (“cartilaginous fish”)

~ had the most votes at 415

~ had the highest amount of loves at 181

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ had the most reblogs at 105

~ had the most notes at 235

~ was the highest ranked group of chordates

Chordate Class Actinistia (“coelacanths”)

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ was the first single genus (Latimeria) to be ranked

Chordate Class Dipnoi (“lungfish”)

~ had the highest amount of likes at 104

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ contained the first of my personal favorites (Australian Lungfish) to be eliminated 🥲

Chordate Class Lissamphibia (amphibians)

~ had the lowest amount of neutral votes at 1, along with Reptilia and Gastropoda

~ had the lowest percentage of neutral votes at 0.4%, along with Reptilia and Gastropoda

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

Chordate Class Reptilia (reptiles)

~ had the lowest amount of neutral votes at 1, along with Lissamphibia and Gastropoda

~ had the lowest percentage of neutral votes at 0.4%, along with Lissamphibia and Gastropoda

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

Chordate Class Mammalia (mammals)

~ had the highest amount of favorites at 258

~ had the highest percentage of favorites at 80.6%

~ had the lowest amount of likes at 4

~ had the lowest percentage of likes at 1.2%

Molluscan Class Polyplacophora (“chitons”)

~ was the first Mollusc group of Round 2

~ had 0 hates

Molluscan Class Solenogastres (solenogasters)

~ had 0 hates

Molluscan Class Caudofoveata (caudofoveatans)

~ had the highest amount of neutral votes at 91, along with Tantulocarida

~ had the highest percentage of neutral votes at 58%

Molluscan Subclass Tergomya (tergomyans)

~ had 0 hates

Molluscan Class Cephalopoda (cephalopods)

~ had the second most reblogs at 66

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ was the only molluscan class to make it into the Top Ten

Molluscan Class Scaphopoda (“tusk shells”)

~ had 0 hates

Molluscan Class Gastropoda (“snails” and kin)

~ had 0 dislikes and 0 hates

~ had the lowest amount of neutral votes at 1, along with Lissamphibia and Reptilia

~ had the lowest percentage of neutral votes at 0.4%, along with Lissamphibia and Reptilia

Molluscan Class Bivalvia (bivalves)

~ had 0 dislikes