#horrible gross office sex yay!
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theflirtmeister · 7 months ago
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commented this on the post instead of sending an ask OOPS, if you're still doing the 500 word fics - hoffstrahm + backshots if you feel so inclined <333
Ao3 Link!
Peter had never had sex in an office before he met Mark Hoffman. In actual fact, he’d never experienced a lot of things before encountering the Detective, such as screaming at a murder suspect, or shoving a pen in his throat. Hoffman had changed him, warped him. It made Peter want to scream.
“C’mon,” Hoffman was bent over the desk, trousers yanked down to mid-thigh so that Peter could fuck him. “We’ve only got half an hour before-“
“I know,” Peter snapped, rummaging through his wallet. “I thought I had a condom.”
“Fuck condoms.” Hoffman groaned and wriggled his ass. “I’m not going to get pregnant.”
Peter tried not to jizz in his own hand, and gave up on looking at the foil packet that was probably expired by now. His father had always drilled it into him to use protection, but he was presuming his son would be spilling his load into hot young women, and not a potential serial killer.
He placed his hands on Hoffman’s ass and spread his cheeks apart, cock twitching at the sight of lube dripping from Hoffman’s hole. He groaned under his breath, and pressed the head of his cock inside, hot velvet skin enveloping him. It was almost too much, and he pushed himself in, taking pleasure in the way that Hoffman hissed and clenched around his cock.
“Fuck you’re big,” Hoffman said, voice muffled.
“Liar,” Peter said, and snapped his hips forward. Skin connected with skin, and Hoffman’s ass rippled with the force of it. Peter wanted to bite him, wanted to leave hickeys all over him, blooming blue and purple.
“God,” Hoffman braced himself against the desk. “Harder.”
“I’m not even trying yet,” Peter said, irritated, and dragged Hoffman closer, fucking into him. “You’re a brat.”
“You’re a shitty top,” Hoffman replied, and Peter pistoned his hips, enough that Hoffman gasped out, and stopped making stupid comments.
“There we go,” Peter said through gritted teeth. “There we fucking go, keep nice and quiet. Just shut up and let me fuck you.”
“Fuck,” Hoffman drooled, “Yeah, that’s good. C’mon. More.”
“You’re a whore.” Peter said, sliding his hand up Hoffman’s back to hold him by the neck. “Is this all you think about? Getting cock?”
“Yeah,” Hoffman breathed. “Yeah, all I think about is you.”
“Disgusting,” Peter said. “Do you jerk off at your desk? Cum underneath it like a teenager?”
“Bathroom,” Hoffman clenched around Peter’s cock, so tight that it almost made Peter cry. “Jerk off in the bathroom. Think about you. Pinning me up against the stall.”
“You’re a creep,” Peter said. “I should report you.”
“Yeah?” Hoffman drawled. “Before or after you’ve cum inside me?”
Peter tightened his grip around Hoffman’s neck and felt his vocal cords vibrate as Hoffman moaned. His own throat was still ruined from stabbing a pen into it, and he could still remember the tearing of skin, the pleasure of pain.
“You like putting your hands on me?” Hoffman wheezed. “You like it?”
“I don’t,” Peter said, increasing his thrusts. “I hate touching you.”
“You love it,” Hoffman said, satisfied. “You love hurting me. You love how – how brutality feels.”
“Oh shut the fuck up,” Peter said, and squeezed so tight that Hoffman squealed like the pig he was. “And let me cum in you.”
“Promise?” Hoffman slurred, and Peter drove his cock home hard.
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tomfooleryprime · 7 years ago
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This is a really uncomfortable post and I’m positive it’s going to garner me some hate, but I’ve been chewing on this for a while now. In recent months, a lot of horrible racist, sexist, and homophobic things have been said in regards to Star Trek: Discovery’s casting and characters. 
One thing that’s really stuck out in my mind has been the repeated apologist claims that Star Trek has always been progressive, but this new show is a bridge too far, that it’s just pushing the envelope beyond the point of reason and trying to pander to social justice warriors. 
Yes, Star Trek has always been progressive. For its time. Without that caveat, that statement falls apart. 
I have such a love/hate relationship with The Original Series because of stuff like this. Because of Captain Pike being uncomfortable with women on his bridge. Because of two gross dudes leering at Yeoman Rand. Because of that time Kirk threatened to spank a planetary leader. Because that time Dr. McCoy insinuated someone who is “all woman” is just biding her time before she lands the man of her dreams and quits Starfleet. 
Perhaps it’s “progressive” because in the very next line, Kirk tells Dr. McCoy, “I like to think of it not so much losing an officer as gaining... actually, I'm losing an officer.” Like Kirk sees her for the work she can do and not just the “all woman” that she is. But the subtext there is that they both agree that a woman’s eventual destination is marriage (to a man), and that no married woman would (or could) serve in Starfleet. I’ve seen a lot of arguments claiming that Captain Kirk was an “original feminist.” Sure, for his time. 
But that’s like saying heroin-laced cough syrup was a marvelous breakthrough in medical science. It was. I’m told heroin works wonders on coughs, but no physician in their right mind would recommend it today for... you know... reasons that should be readily apparent. Context and an understanding of the history that followed is a key step that a lot of people seem to miss. 
It goes back and forth with fans as to whether Discovery’s direction should be praised as progressive or seen as a liberally regressive death rattle to the Star Trek franchise. I happen to fall in the camp that scratches my head at other Star Trek fans who swear by TOS (and maybe TNG) but think everything that came after is garbage because it’s just a bunch of liberal pandering. Like what kind of Star Trek have they been watching if they think the idea of a gay Starfleet officer, an Asian female captain, or a black female science officer is “a bit much?” 
George Takei had wanted to introduce a gay character in TOS, but everyone agreed society, not to mention most of the cast and crew, just wasn’t ready to see two people of the same sex in a romantic relationship. And besides, they were already toeing the line because... you know, they had a black woman on the bridge. 
People point to Lieutenant Uhura as proof that women of color had “made it” back as far as TOS. She even kissed a white man on TV! Yay, equality... or something. Don’t get me wrong, Nichelle Nichols was and is a fucking icon, but one black woman in a sea of white men doesn’t constitute “making it.” Uhura was a icon because she was so unique, but her uniqueness is a sign of the problem, not proof of the cure. If women of color had “made it” back in the late 1960s, why is anyone throwing a tantrum over Sonequa Martin-Green or Michelle Yeoh’s characters? 
So I swear those "fans” completely miss the point, but when I look back at these really problematic moments in TOS, I think I almost understand. I don’t agree, but I think I’m beginning to wrap my head around the phenomenon of fans who say they love the peace and diversity and social equality in Star Trek and yet come across as so racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. 
I think the problem lies with calling Star Trek progressive. Star Trek is and always has been progressive, but progress is just that: progress. It’s not a destination. They are very different but oft confused things. We hadn’t “made it” as a society in the 1960s and we’re not “making it” now. 
I look back on TOS and can agree that it was progressive. For it’s time. But what I really hope is I’m around in 50 years to see future generations watch Star Trek: Discovery and see young people reluctantly shrug and admit that it too was progressive. For it’s time. 
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filmpenance · 7 years ago
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Day 6, 2018 - Cruel Intentions
Cruel Intentions – 1999 – Kumble, Roger
(Trashy Tuesday)
“Oh, Sebastian? That little wager of yours? Count me in.” - Kathryn
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Cruel Intentions is “Dangerous Liaisons” set in 1990’s high school which should have been a great idea but instead we have Cruel Intentions which is both terrible and amazing: TERR-MAZING!
This is not really a review, but rather Cruel Intentions will get the “Trashy Tuesday” treatment. You’ll get to read dictation of a variety of vocal explosions I had while watching. Honestly, start the movie now and start reading.
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This DVD has more menu options than are warranted for a film of this calibre. Christine Baranski? SOLD! Ooh, highway driving and symbols of wealth!
Sebastian is played by a forehead named Ryan Phillipe and he seems to be departing some reformatory mind school for sex offenders. Earth-tones! SWOOZIE KURTZ!
Tara Reid! Netscape! MOCK-TURTLENECKS!
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Oh look, Selma Blair playing a Koala-shirted stereotype. What movie is she in right now? It seems like a better one than everyone else is in right now.
Buffy? Buffy von Lagerfeld is a slut-shaming hypocrite in a tasteful pantsuit (Kathryn / Sarah Michelle Gellar) taking Koala-shirt under her blazer.  Nice coke-spoon/rosary combo Ms. Lagerfeld!
So, Forehead and Ms. Lagerfeld seems to be putting together a plan/wager re: deflowering Cornhusk Angel (Annette/Reese Withspoon) because she’s a Bible-y. That just irritates the fuck out of the Forehead.
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Hey, Forehead! Fuck you! That lady owns horses and this whole fucking estate! There’s no way she’ll go fetch you an iced tea while you put the moves on Cornhusk Angel! (Oh wait, there she fucking goes, waiting hand and foot on that piece of shit – YOU’RE AN OSCAR WINNER LOUISE FLETCHER! We owe you better that Ryan Phillipe!)
Forehead continues with the negging/PUA moves on Cornhusk Angel, but in the 90’s that was just courtship.
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CUT TO: Interracial Voyeuristic Cello Softcore Perfume Ad starring Koala-shirt and Ronald. Thank god I did not have to wait long for a needless MLK Jr. reference!
CUT TO: Pacey? Is that you? Pacey, why have they made you mincing fop – slash – box of Feria hair colour? FYI: Gregster in the mesh shirt is overcompensating.
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Cornhusk Angel just wants to go for a quiet swim – then Forehead confronts her with his live dick-pic. Gross! Wait, she gets in the pool anyway? Why? IS SHE GOING TO BAPTISE HIM? (wishful thinking, damn)
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THANKS FOR THE HOMOPHOBIC UPDATES TO LITERATURE CRUEL INTENTIONS!
Creepy spy-cam on Koala-shirt and Ronald. This movie is so horrible and filled with pretend robot sex emotions! And why would ANYONE CARE if Koala-shirt is fucking her music teacher, at least she cares about something: Ronald-dick and the cello!
DO NOT TRUST THESE WHITE PEOPLE RONALD! Do not let them in the elevator! RONALD – GET OUT!!!
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Ms. Buffy von Lagerfeld is wearing a cheap ass polyester halter dress and it is an affront.
Great, Forehead has decided to seduce Koala-shirt by plying her with wine. She’s a CHILD! At least give her a straw. YOU CRAZY-FACED Dudley Moore-esque fuckwit driving a convertible with “Praise You” playing way too loudly in the background! Awesome – push her off the bed for comedy! YAY!
Back to Cornhusk Angel – Has she worn the same outfit this whole movie? How many thin-knit lavender v-neck sweaters were there in the 90’s? Forehead is here now? Fuck your bullshit kissing picnic with MORE EARTH-TONES!
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(It’s sometime around here in my mind that every time I saw Ryan Phillipe I recast him with Richard Gere and I replaced SMG Lagerfeld with Debra Winger, and then all of the dialogue and action after that with An Officer and a Gentlemen.)
What, this dickface knows the train schedule?
UGH – Forehead and Cornhusk do it. Counting Crows are somehow responsible. Forehead breaks up with Cornhusk then goes to von Lagerfeld for the payout.
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Debra & Richard have it out.
You know what Forehead? Fuck you and your pretentious leather-bound notebook. You’re a high school meathead not a Founding Father.
(Self-publishes journal of Being a Gaping Asshole – The Bittersweet Symphony Years!)
I’ll miss you Ronald!
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Trailer: https://youtu.be/SCFR2vpMIQU
Review: https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/cruel-intentions-1999
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