#hornbag

[stargaterevival]

Good morning!

Thank you, @frostysfrenzy for the horny shanks. Enabler...

@i-am-morrigans-apprentice @bailey-dream-x tag anyone I've missed 😘

[truenature2428]

[v-2k]

goon bag is my favorite australian word

[commander-diomika]

(spoilers for halsin romance/sex scene) I'm actually so so impressed with how well this game handles being horny and also really respecting its audience comfort level.

I was going into this knowing it would be The Bear Fucking Scene but it doesnt have to be! You start smooching, Halsin gets excited and turns into a bear, turns back, he apologises. You can say your into it, or not. He warns you it will be a lot, and you can back out. All of the sex scenes give you SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES to back out or to tailor the experience.

The few other games I've played with sex scenes they're often this like, static peace of storytelling tacked onto the end of the correct dialogue options. Your avatar can sometimes be along for a ride that you don't have much control over but BG3 has put the same love and care into these scenes as the rest of the game, and for all that "consent" isn't a framework I like to use around media (you consent by putting your eyeballs on it, you can always turn it off, no one is forcing you to participate), it's handled in a way that really respects the comfort level of the player.

HALSIN NON MONOG STRAIGHT OUT THE GATE?!

[voxasks]

I will kiss vox even if it leads to my own death

“se—security!  make  sure  that  crack-filled  hornbag  stays  far  away  from  me.  if  only  laws  were  actually  followed  in  hell—no  nevermind  a  restraining  order  isn't  enough  to  keep  you  unholy  throat-fuckers away  is  it?”

[elokitties]

buying a house really took priority over looking like a hornbag at the blink 182 show. hope I don’t regret that in 10 years

[inkyquince]

I laughed so hard that I figured it out Wren is actually sell all the shit he won from the poker night with pc. PC is literally give him money and their ass for any horny reasons. If we lost enough, why not consider pc is whoring him.

Whore wren hehhehehe

NO NO THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS, HEAR ME OUT

he sells it to the hornbags

Like, my man doesn't have memory issues. He knows your body. You have humped his cock to hell and back, the point he's CHAFING.

now, he'd keep your shit. He would. You got good tastes babes. But how is he supposed to afford his rent?

So he singles out the nasties and sells off your clothes. Kylar and Leighton and that iconic panty thief, harper, who isnt lining up?

that man is such a bastard i love him

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

An Endless Loop Of Music:

Rule: shuffle your Spotify “On Repeat” playlist and list the first (10) songs.

Hornbag - Play Lunch

KoolAid - BMTH

Assault and Batteries - INK

Bite Me - Enhypen

Whore - In This Moment

Gods Menu - SKZ

Lavender Bones - Stand Atlantic

Concrete Jungle - Bad Omens

Mountains - SKZ

18 + - Scene Queen

Add your own plz. I need more variety then Kpop and metalish.

[ladyswillmart]

Surprisingly, it was Corudan who first came forth. "You honor us with your praise, Reeve. As for our own business, you may address us collectively as the Fantastic Four," he told the Rohirrim leader with about as much modesty as such a moniker might muster, adding wisely, "if it pleases you."

"Fantas—" Horn truncated his protest, also wisely. "W-we can't call ourselves that! Have you gone crackers? No fellowship of mere mortals could possibly withstand the litigious might of the Mouse, if you get my meaning."

They weren't supposed to, logically speaking, but for the sake of the continuation of this narrative let us say that they fully understood the implications of Horn's words (in a very real and legally binding sense)...

"Well, what are we calling ourselves these days, then? I thought we had this all sorted out at breakfast," Corudan grumbled.

"No; you burbled out some nonsense in Elf-tongue and then you said well, that's all sorted out!, and then you fell asleep in your fry-up," Nona reminded him. "Anyway, I came up with the new name! It's Nona's Angels."

"I thought we were the Fellowship of the Auk?" said Hivallion, his voice tiny and somewhat confused. Apparently much had transpired in his absence, including yet another breakfast that saw the fellowship's "beating heart"* riding out into the cold crack of dawn to go fetch (or deliver) one thing (or another) for (or to) someone he just met; the life of a career gofer was ever thus, rife with such gustatory tragedies. Handheld meals hastily crammed down the gullet while balancing a canteen of coffee in one hand, while bouncing nauseously down the barest suggestion of a road, while saddled atop the sagging back of some long-suffering prole of the equine variety, invariably named Freckles or Peaches or Taffy.

Even Glorfindel, who on ceremonial occasions rode a pure white stallion who glimmered in the moonlight and whose luxuriously limpid mane brought to mind the blessed luminescence of of the legendary Silmarils, actually had the gall to name the poor creature "Fánarocco"—simply "White Horse" in the old Quenya tongue.

For all of his other qualities, the Eldar evidently had precious little energy to spare for creative pursuits.

"Nona's Angels! Really!" Horn scoffed. "Might as well call ourselves Horn's Hornbags!"

A dangerous flare arose in Nona's eyes. "Like hell! I am not calling myself a hornbag! I'd rather be an auk!" She paused. "Hivallion, what is an auk, anyway?"

"An auk is a kind of bird—a pelagic bird who spends most of its life at sea, not unlike our murres and puffins."

Corudan scratched his head. "Do they also spend a lot of time running around and arguing with each other about what to call themselves?"

"No, mostly they swim and dive and catch fish," Hivallion went on. "Our smaller auks can also sort of hoover up plankton through their beaks."

"What is plankton?" wondered Nona, at her own peril.

"Tiny little creatures who live in the sea. Like fish lice."

"Great," muttered Horn. With a sigh, he resumed, affecting professionalism: "My apologies, Reeve Athelward. Acute exhaustion may perhaps be taking more of a toll on our operations than previously assumed."

The Reeve jolted upwards in his seat. "Oh no! No worries. Please, I must insist that you take as much time as you might need to consider my offer. Cliving could benefit from the inspiration provided by such diversity! A good, strong Rohirrim man. A woman who carries the pride of Dunland in her sword arm. A Dwimordene of the Lórien, fair of face and sharp of wit. And, uh."

He stopped speaking as his gaze at last settled on Hivallion. His grey eyes crinkled at the corners as his brow turned and furrowed, as if trying but ultimately failing to realize something in the low light of his mead hall.

"Fish lice...?" was all Athelward could manage in that moment.

(* ...with Horn deciding that he would be the "brains of the operation", while Corudan would act as the group's "pretty face" and Nona as their "designated legbreaker". All agreed, it was a most harmonious arrangement, with Nona being particularly excited about the prospect of breaking legs.)

[mistressemmedi]

am i the only merc fan not riled up by lando's comments? sure i rolled my eyes but idk, it's lando, we all know he has no brain-to-gob filter and hearing the clip it sounded more like a reaction to toto's need to make over-the-top statements about everything as if only merc are affected by everything and george n lewis just caught the stray. tactless sure. malicious idts. idk maybe it's just me cos we already knew sunday that they're both ok but my first thought on seeing toto's latest ott proclamation was stop finding thing to distract from the issue of your terrible strategy and terrible car. my disdain for toto is at an all-time high rn. only hornbag is lower on the tp ladder of shame and red bull could vanish into a landslip as far as i care (except max, i like max), whereas merc are my team so toto bothers me far more. even wondered if part of the reason he dragged them off media duties was to stop either of them talking shit about the team to the media so he wouldn't be faced with a week's worth of why is it almost october and your car and strategies are still garbage.

I don't think anyone was actually riled up? At least I hope so because if that's what gets people going then oooooh boy

[jerzwriter]

Fandom Couples Awards

Most Romantic

Most Likely to Be Arrested for Public Indecency

Most Sophisticated

Most Likely to be at Home on a Saturday Night

Most Likely to Travel the World

Hey Nonny, Thanks for asking; I've been chuckling at everyone else's answers, so I guess I should finally answer myself.

I'm going to limit to the OH fandom because that's the one I'm most familiar with.

Most Romantic: @genevievemd 's Ethan x Gen, @storyofmychoices Bryce x Olivia, @cariantha 's Ethan x Sawyer, and @peonierose's Bryce x Luna

Most Likely to be Arrested for Public Indecency: Well, since I can't pick my own hornbags... I'm going with @jamespotterthefirst 's Ethan x Lilac (and her Tobias x Laurel, too, if we're keeping it real), @takeharryandgo 's Ethan x Meredith, and @alj4890 's Tobias x Chris (I think her Tobias is like mine, fuck it, I've got the cash to buy us out of it! lol) So my guys are in good company.

Most Sophisticated: @liaromancewriter Ethan x Cassie, @utterlyinevitable 's Ethan x Odette, @potionsprefect 's Ethan x Victoria, @heauxplesslydevoted Ethan x Naomi

Most Likely to be at Home on a Saturday Night: This one was tough because I think it depends on what stage of the couple's life... but the ones that came to mind quickest were @mydemonsdrivealimo 's Bryce x Jensen (at least once Barry comes along). @dr-colossal-pita's Ethan x Oliver IDK, I can see them home cooking on Saturday rather than going out... and the same goes for @trappedinfanfiction's Ethan x Celia and @lucy-268 Ethan x Charley.

Most Likely to Travel the World: @jamespotterthefirst Ethan x Lilac, @liaromancewriter Ethan x Cassie, @headoverheelsforramsey Ethan x Meera

This was so much fun! We should do more of these!

[ohblimeygeorge]

All the other red flags weren’t instantaneous tho hornbag… it’s shit and they should’ve been but max isn’t special

[starshipqstar]

Audio Drama Sunday: World Pride Edition 🏳️‍🌈

Boing! Boing! It’s still World Pride and it’s still Sunday somewhere in the world, which means it’s time to 🗣️ SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS ABOUT A QUEER AUSTRALIAN AUDIOOOO DRAMAAAAAAH!!!

Today we are shouting out The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality.

Created by non binary writer-sound designer-performer triple threat Dom Guilfoyle, the show is currently five seasons of surreal, psychological horror and strangeness, with a cracking sense of humour to balance it all out.

Keep an ear out in Season 4 for an appearance of our very own Lena Moon - her Mistholme character is a wee bit different to hornbag Mo!

Also! Dom’s brand new show Tales From The Low City has JUST launched its first ep!

It’s high on our To-Listen queue, make sure you listen while it’s fresh from the AD oven too!

Go give Dom’s work a listen, a share, and leave them a great rating and review too!

[startseeingstars]

Collision Path - Mike 5lbs of Pressure

CH30 Mike’s POV 🎶 If You Could Only See - Tonic 🎶

TW - sexual themes

I couldn’t believe how incredible she’d been about this whole thing. I knew she wouldn’t let me face this alone, but fuck. I stared at her in awe, through my one good eye anyway. The other stung like a bitch and I almost winced just thinking about that knife carving away at my tear duct. The bleeding had subsided, but my vision was still blurred and hazy.

We’d been driving for hours, and I could tell Maddi was struggling to stay awake.

Before I could offer to drive, her phone began ringing. The sound made us both jump - we’d been sitting in silence most of the drive. The caller ID read ‘Shaun’. She let it ring out quietly and glanced at me.

“We’re gonna have to change numbers.” She muttered and I nodded.

As I looked out the window, we passed a sign that read ‘Charleston, West Virginia’.

Safe to say, I had no fucking idea where we were.

“Do you know where we’re going?” I asked, and she shook her head, visibly exhausted.

“Let’s stop and rest for a bit.” I suggested, placing a hand on her thigh. She didn’t object, only nodded as she yawned. She glanced back at Buffy who was curled up asleep in the backseat.

“I’ll stop in this town and we can get a motel room.” She said quietly.

We’d stopped for a rest, quickly passing out on the decrepit motel mattress. I woke up first, to nothing but silence and the sound of some birds chirping away outside. Maddi was snoring lightly - still deep in sleep.

I managed to drag myself to the bathroom, where I inspected my eye. It still looked worse for wear, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. I cleaned it up with a bit of water and soap before deciding to just have a shower.

The water pressure was abysmal to say the least, but the hot water scorched my skin in a refreshing way. I was riddled with guilt, fear and shame… but also held onto a bit of hope. Maybe this could be the fresh start we wanted?

My Mom suddenly flashed through my mind. She’d know just what to say to make me feel better. She couldn’t always help, but she always knew how to comfort me, or make me laugh.

I felt a familiar pang of sadness and I realised, again, she would never meet Maddi.

I was lost in thought and didn’t hear Maddi until she pulled the curtain back. The bags under her eyes were softer than before she’d slept, but she still looked drained. I held out my hand to her and shuffled aside so she could have the water.

She rinsed her hair, sighing as I had done when the water drenched me. I leant down and she wrapped her arms around, pulling me closer. Our noses brushed lightly and I felt my heart swell.

I blushed slightly, unable to help the way my body responded to her proximity. She glanced down, noticing how hard I was getting and smiled gently.

“You’re a fuckin’ hornbag, you know that?” She teased. I smirked.

“Don’t act like you don’t want it,” My words were playful but I just wanted her close - to feel her skin against mine, breathe the same air she breathed. I wanted all of her.

I felt her fingers twirling my hair as she reached up slightly, meeting my lips. I pulled her closer, so tight I almost thought she’d pull away or complain. But she stayed, content in my arms as we kissed deeply.

I winced and pulled away as water got in my sore eye. She leaned out and grabbed a face cloth, dabbing it at my face gently. We stared at each other and she sighed.

“How are you still so cute with an eye like that?” She giggled and the sound sent chills over my skin.

“How are you always such a dork?” I teased and she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, Cowboy. I’m gonna get cleaned up and we should hit the road again.”

I wrapped the coarse white towel around my waist, leaving her to finish showering.

As I sat on the bed, my phone rang - it was Leff.

I hesitated but declined the call. At least he’d know I wasn’t dead - hopefully.

Maddi appeared, naked and damp - her long, wet hair falling across her delicate, smooth skin. I licked my lips, feeling a consuming heat spread through my body as I gazed at her gorgeous figure. She had a glow surrounding her that left me in awe. A small smile tugged at her rosy lips when she caught me staring. After a moment, she closed the distance between us, snaking her arms around my neck as she gazed up at me. I could feel the adoration in her eyes, but I didn’t feel it was deserved. As if reading my mind, she leant up and pecked my nose gently with her lips.

“You and me,” she whispered. “That’s all we need.”

I squeezed her a little closer, nuzzling my nose against hers.

I wholeheartedly agreed, feeling like I could take on the entire world as long as she was by my side.

[sometimesgaining]

I wish you'd post more videos lol. I loved the ones with u in the shower

I will at somepoint!

Once I've got my own space it will be a lot easier for me to be a hornbag online.

[inkyquince]

just for you.... @undead-merman... i'll write that threesome between miguel and peter b parker

you hornbag