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atzfilm · 2 years ago

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THE ANSWER: XXII

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 9,191 chapter warnings: ... suggestive content ...

The two days of notice that San gave you before the trip into town pass in the blink of an eye. You spent a lot of your time helping San go over the request lists, trying to sort out what was feasible for the trip that they had planned and what wasn’t.

You, obviously, had never been around the nearest town. You had driven through it to get here, sure, but you hardly had the thought to stop and take a look around. You had been focused on exactly one thing at the time, and that had been Mingi.

According to San, the ‘town’ isn’t really a town at all. In the government’s eyes, it’s an ‘unincorporated territory,’ which, apparently, so is the land that the farm sits on. Thus, the town doesn’t even have a real name. It’s just… town. And the town did not have all of the fancy amenities that a real town would have. Just a few mom-and-pop type stores and trade workshops.

For more niche products, the group would have to go further away, to the nearest real civilization. But the group going out today has no plans to go any farther than ‘town,’ and thus you had spent a lot of time asking San the sort of things that they could get, in order to help with the request lists (which were much lengthier than you had expected them to be).

Basically, they could get their hands on most everyday products, with a few minor exceptions. There’s a grocery store, a general store, a liquor store (of course), a mechanic that doubled as a supply store and a bar, and… that’s it. The town doesn’t serve many patrons, this general area (clearly) being quite unpopulated. San explained that, while the group owns the land for miles surrounding the main complex, the nearest neighbors are all farmers, and the same goes for miles beyond even them.

So, all of that is really just to say that town is small. And that the resources are limited. So quite a few of the requests were easy enough to completely rule out on your own (you figured the likelihood of one of those stores carrying the Miyabi knives Wooyoung had requested to be very small). By the end of the lists, you felt that you had a pretty good grasp on the types of things available in town.

Which could come in handy, eventually.

If anything, at least you know now that there are, in fact, living people that aren’t cult members somewhere in your vicinity. Maybe not your running vicinity… but still nearby enough to give you a small sense of hope.

If these people are normal, or as normal as a bunch of people that live in the middle of nowhere can be, they must be able to see that something is weird with the commune people. Perhaps the biggest red flag being the whole living on a commune thing. And they aren’t exactly subtle with the religion part, either, with the pins and medallions and everything.

And Hongjoong is an entirely separate type of weird. The type of weird that you can understand just from him looking at you. So, if anything, they must know something is off with him, at least. And, luckily for you (unluckily for town, you suppose), Hongjoong is joining this particular expedition into town.

You can’t imagine that the townspeople like the culties too much. Especially not their obvious leader.

Maybe, just maybe, they’ll act upon their suspicions.

You won’t count on it, as any hope that someone from the outside world could save you had dwindled away a long time ago. But it’s a nice thought, at least, that you’re not alone in your hatred of Hongjoong. And that that hatred could inspire something in other people that have the ability to do something.

Anyways, it’s probably not worth dwelling on.

You return to your senses, taking in the scene around you.

It’s early morning, so early that Hongjoong had canceled his morning service. The sun is hardly above the horizon, though it’s bright enough that you have to squint as you stand outside with the majority of the other followers. There’s hustle and bustle as the chosen few going into town shuffle about, confirming plans and saying their goodbyes.

You stand with your hands shoved in the pockets of a jacket that San insisted you wear. You hadn’t thought that you would need it, and you wouldn’t admit it, but he was right. Your fingers are so cold that you almost want gloves, and don’t even get started on your ears. Since when is the fall so… brisk?

Looking at the positives of the current moment, however, you’re able to forget about how cold you are. You’re alone. For the first time in what must be over a week now.

By ‘alone,’ you’re not truly alone, but as close as you’ve gotten since your punishment was doled out. There’s people all around you, and you definitely wouldn’t get far if you tried to run, but the three men that have plagued your existence are more than ten feet from you for the first time in forever.

So you try and appreciate the moment while you have it. Though you’re getting rid of Hongjoong for the day… your alternative isn’t much better. Since San has to go as well, you’re being left with Seonghwa.

You glance around, trying to find Seonghwa’s form in the blinding light of the rising sun. He’s not too hard to find, glued to Hongjoong’s hip as usual. The two are talking, though you couldn’t fathom to guess what about. It seems like a pretty normal conversation from your view.

But oh how you had pleaded with San to try and convince Hongjoong to leave you with someone else. Literally one of the least pleasant things you could imagine would be being forced to spend an entire day of your life with Seonghwa, a man who is outspoken about his dislike for you, and yet your pleading went nowhere. San assured you that he had asked Hongjoong, but Hongjoong was adamant that you be left with Seonghwa and no one else.

Even though you wouldn’t be surprised to discover that he has the desire, at least this is a sign that Hongjoong trusts Seonghwa enough to not kill you. That’s promising, right?

You look around further in an attempt to spot San. It’s a bit… weird to not be with him, you must admit to yourself. You wouldn’t say you miss him, but… it’s disconcerting for him to be out of your range of vision. You stay planted in one spot, turning around to look for him in the crowds of people awaiting the send off.

No luck. He must have snuck back inside, because he’s definitely nowhere to be seen out in the yard.

It’s not hard to find another certain someone, however.

Mingi’s hair is as bright as ever (you wonder in the back of your mind if he had requested more hair dye), and his height certainly sticks out as well. He’s not going into town, you know that for sure, but he socializes with the others as if he is. He floats between groups of people, smiling and laughing and being happy and amazing and sweet… haha. You watch him go to the next group, clapping Yunho on the back as he sneaks up behind him.

For some reason, Yunho had been invited to join the party in to town. Whatever makes him eligible for the privilege, you have no idea, but you thought it better to not ask.

A feverish hand lands on your shoulder and you startle, turning to face its owner despite already having a clear idea of who it is.

Hongjoong is already smiling as you face him, his hand not moving from your shoulder even once you’re fully turned around. His touch is as burning as ever. You slightly jerk your shoulder in an attempt to shake his grasp, but it doesn’t work.

“It’s a lovely morning, (Y/n).” Hongjoong greets you, and you now notice Seonghwa looming over his shoulder.

You nod your head, though more out of wanting to placate him than actually agree.

Hongjoong finally drops his hand, folding his arms over his chest. He glances back at Seonghwa, tilting his head so as to direct him to your side. “As you know, Seonghwa will be watching you while San is gone.” (Seonghwa acts like he practically has to drag himself to stand at your side as Hongjoong says this.) “And I wanted to share with you some of my expectations for your behavior.”

Jesus. You exercise some serious self control to keep yourself from rolling your eyes or groaning. You keep what you hope is a neutral expression.

“These rules go for both of you.” Hongjoong looks between yourself and Seonghwa. Seonghwa doesn’t stop himself from sighing a deep, clearly annoyed sigh. “Most importantly, behave.”

What the hell does that mean? Behave. Seriously?

“The two of you seem to bring out the worst in each other. Change it. Or simply leave each other completely alone, I don’t care.” Hongjoong’s eyes dance between the two of you, and it’s clear that this is a message to be shared equally. “No fighting. No being rude for the sake of being rude.”

Seonghwa sighs again.

Hongjoong doubles down on him, pointing at the center of Seonghwa’s chest. “No hands will be laid on (Y/n),” he glances at you, his tone dropping. “And none on Seonghwa, either.”

You furrow your brows. Had you ever laid hands on anyone here? Well, okay, maybe you threw some clothes at Seonghwa and maybe you tried to, like, kick him a little bit, but that was all perfectly justified. Whatever Hongjoong says, you have the right to at least defend yourself if you need to. Sometimes preemptive defense is… necessary…

“What can we do?” Seonghwa asks in a tone that you never thought you would hear him use with Hongjoong. You’re so shocked that you even look back at him, though he doesn’t so much as flick his eyes downward at you.

Hongjoong smiles as you turn back to face him, apparently thinking up some wondrous ideas. “Get to know each other? Kindly?” He sounds sarcastic.

You don’t know about Seonghwa, but you shake your head at his suggestion.

Hongjoong shrugs his shoulders, his hands dropping back to his sides. “Fine, keep hating each other.” His tone shifts. “But I mean it. Get along, both of you, or there will be punishments. I won’t say everything that needs to be said, because I know both of you to be competent adults capable of being around people you don’t get along with. So, simply put, behave.”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and a hand on Seonghwa’s, pushing the two of you together until your arms bump together. “It would make me so happy if you two just got along.”

You don’t know about Seonghwa, but you couldn’t care less about what would make Hongjoong happy. Instead, you’re focused on the feeling of his palm on your shoulder again, his touch so burning hot that its confusing. How is it possible for someone’s hands to be so hot? If anything, shouldn’t they be cold?

His hand falls away as three vehicles pull up from… fuck. You have no idea where they came from. Why hadn’t you been paying closer attention? Was distracting you the only thing that Hongjoong had in mind with that little conversation? Fuck.

You realize why you hadn’t been able to spot San earlier, then, as you find him in the driver’s seat of one of the cars that had pulled up. Not just any car, either. Your car.

Your jaw drops, if only for a few seconds before you pull it together. What the fuck, man? This is, like, some new level of unnecessary. Your car? Seriously? With San driving?

Trying to not show how bothered you are, you approach your car, bending slightly to peer into the open driver’s side window. “Nice ride.” The words fall flat out of your mouth.

San gives you that awkward, sideways smile he presents when he’s sorry that he can’t help you. “I’m sorry, (Y/n).” He sounds genuine in his apology, his tone a bit rough.

You cross your arms, staring into your car. It’s just as you had left it, plus a few things that San is bringing with him. “Be careful driving, the airbags are all out.” You point at the flashing light on the dash. That light was courtesy of Mingi driving you into just about the biggest pothole you had ever seen in your life. The airbags didn’t deploy, but the light immediately came on and never turned back off.

“So that’s what the flashing depiction of an airbag means, I never would’ve guessed!” He gives you a full smile. “Thank you, (Y/n).” He drops his voice. “I really am sorry.”

You hit his shoulder playfully, a smile of your own forming across your face. “Don’t be a jerk.” Your smile turns bittersweet as you drop your own voice. “But it’s not your fault.” You peek into the back seat, jokingly pointing at the floor. “You’re sure I can’t just hop in?”

San inhales sharply, shaking his head along with your joke. “I think Hongjoong might notice, somehow?”

“Darn…” You straighten yourself back up, taking a few steps back in order to still see San clearly. “Uh, be safe?”

He smiles again, nodding. “I will, and you do the same. Remember what I said about Seonghwa. Just ignore him, and the day will be fine.”

You sigh, putting your hands in your pockets once more. “I’ll try.”

As if on queue, you turn away from San to be greeted by the appearance of Hongjoong and Seonghwa himself.

“Ready to head out?” Hongjoong asks San, bending in a similar fashion to how you had. San agrees, nodding his head. “Well,” Hongjoong turns his attention back to you and Seonghwa. “I’ll leave you two here, then. Remember what I told you.”

He takes a step closer to you, replacing his hand on your shoulder once more. “And remember, (Y/n), that Seonghwa is in charge when I’m gone. He holds my authority.” He drops his hand from you, moving it over to Seonghwa. “And Seonghwa, do well to remember not to abuse it.” There’s clearly a threat in how he addressed both of you.

Seonghwa takes a step closer to Hongjoong, gently grabbing his upper arm, pulling his hand off of you. You step backward, happy to be out of Hongjoong’s reach. “You worry too much,” Seonghwa trails his hand down Hongjoong’s arm, grabbing his hand. He steps closer to Hongjoong, leaving little space between them.

You frown, not enjoying being forced to witness… whatever this is.

Seonghwa lowers his voice, but you can still hear him. “Can we say goodbye privately?” It’s strange to hear Seonghwa say something so… genuine.

You have half the mind to turn around, just to grant Seonghwa’s request if Hongjoong won’t. Unfortunately, the scene unfolds before you can.

“That’s not necessary, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong’s face is blank as he looks up at Seonghwa.

Seonghwa sighs, but doesn’t argue. To your shock (perhaps horror?), Seonghwa dips his face toward Hongjoong, aiming to kiss him. Aiming. And failing.

Hongjoong turns his face as Seonghwa gets close, his eyes locking with yours. You manage to keep yourself from gasping, though the awkwardness of what just happened has you embarrassed. Hongjoong shakes his hand from Seonghwa’s, lifting it to rest on his chest. He pushes him gently backwards, finally turning his eyes back toward Seonghwa’s face. “Goodbye, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa scoffs, loud enough for you to hear. He turns from Hongjoong, his sight setting on you. If Seonghwa wasn't such an asshole, you might feel bad seeing the way his eyes sparkle between his furious blinks.

You look back to Hongjoong, wondering just what the fuck he thinks he's doing. If he wants you and Seonghwa to get along so badly, pissing Seonghwa off right before leaving the two of you alone probably isn't the best idea. Just a thought. Hongjoong's expression is as blank as it was when he addressed Seonghwa. He doesn't even give you a smile when he notices your gaze, simply nodding once in goodbye.

Seonghwa makes a show of storming toward you. His boots kick up the dirt driveway in his wake, sending clouds of dust up behind him. As he passes, he doesn't grab your arm as you would've expected.

"Let's go, princess." His voice is thick, deeper than normal as he commands you to follow him.

He doesn't stop for you. You shove your hands back into your pockets, holding your jacket down to your body as you jog to catch up with him.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Seonghwa leads the way back inside, taking you to his apartment. He doesn’t speak to you, opting instead to mumble under his breath just quietly enough that you can’t decipher his exact words. You can’t decide if he does it to purposely annoy you, or if he’s genuinely so pissed that he’s mumbling to himself.

Hopefully the former. Spending the day with a pissed off Seonghwa… You shudder at the thought. He’s hard enough to deal with when he’s in a good mood.

When you reach the door of his apartment, he digs angrily into one of his front pockets, fishing out a key and unlocking the door with surprising force. He shoves the door open, making it bounce off of the door stop as he passes through the doorway.

You follow him, a bit hesitant. He continues into the living space, not giving even a single glance back to you. You shut the door behind you, taking a few moments to take in Seonghwa’s quarters.

His apartment is laid out quite similarly to Hongjoong’s and you own, with (you assume) the same features. The kitchen and living room are connected, with a single door leading to the bedroom and bathroom.

There’s something off, though. And it’s hard to put your finger on it at first. Seonghwa points it out to you before you can dwell on the matter for too long.

“I don’t spend much time here, obviously. You won’t find anything if you snoop around, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

That’s exactly it. The entire living space that you can see is… devoid of any signs of living. No personal effects or misaligned furniture or clothes on the floor or… anything. It’s like the model unit that they show during tours, except somehow even plainer and more depressing.

You walk further inside, looking around in an obvious manner. “Don’t you have any stuff?”

Seonghwa folds his arms, rolling his eyes. “Yes, and it’s all in Hongjoong’s apartment.” He states this as if it has to be the most obvious thing in the world.

Sitting down on his couch (that is indistinguishable from your own), you fold your arms in turn. “Really? You remember that I’ve been there, right?” You match his energy, even though it’s probably not the best idea to provoke him further.

Seonghwa squints at you, tilting his head as he moves to sit on the chair next to the couch. “What makes you think you’ve seen all there is to see?”

Fuck. You know that you really shouldn’t be making him more angry, but it’s just so tempting. You try for a good, solid second to restrain yourself. But then you give in. “I’ve spent a lot of time in his bedroom, is all I mean.” You’re lying, of course, but the lie hits home.

You watch as Seonghwa’s face cycles through conflicting emotions. He settles on… more angry. “Princess, you can’t make me jealous.”

You frown. “It kinda seems like I can?”

“I know that you’re not sleeping with him.” Seonghwa’s eyes narrow despite the statement, as if he’s searching for any indication that he’s wrong.

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, pervert.” A smile spreads across your face, clearly you’re getting your way.

Seonghwa smiles bitterly. “Maybe so, but Hongjoong does. I would know.”

You can’t decide if he means that ‘he would know’ as in he would know if you had slept with Hongjoong, or if ‘he would know’ because Hongjoong has talked about his relationship with Seonghwa publicly. You take the opportunity as you see it. “What, exactly, is your relationship with him?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, princess?” Seonghwa’s expression drops as he leans back in the chair. “It’s none of your business.”

You sigh, disappointed but not surprised by his response. “Can I be real with you for, like, one second? No pettiness?” You ask.

Seonghwa gives you a look that says ‘why-on-earth-would-you-want-to-do-that,’ but nods anyway.

“Hongjoong…” you start, not exactly knowing how to phrase your sentence. “Hongjoong rejecting you like that, in front of us, was him just being an asshole.” Seonghwa cuts you off with a groan. “And I’m sorry, because that was equally as horrifying to witness as it was to experience.”

Seonghwa holds up his hands, shaking his head. “I do not need your sympathy. I’m quite used to Hongjoong’s behaviors.”

“It just seemed like-”

“I don’t care what it seemed like. You don’t know anything about our relationship, you cannot overanalyze one interaction and act like you know all that there is to know about my feelings or his!” Seonghwa rushes the words out, his voice rising slightly by the end of his tangent. He doesn’t yell, but it’s enough to placate you.

“Fine. I don’t care, anyways.” You scoff. “I don’t know why I even tried.”

The both of you lapse into silence, nothing to be heard except for your angered breathing.

Seonghwa suddenly smiles, causing a suspicious sinking feeling in your stomach. “I’m going to offer you some unsolicited relationship advice.”

“No.” You immediately respond, despite him not asking.

“Yes. You and Mingi fought, right?”

Your gaze snaps to his, your expression confirming his question.

“I think you forgot about us being next-door neighbors. Honestly, I should’ve stepped in the second I realized you had broken the rules of your punishment, but what kind of fun would that have been?” He leans forward in his chair, uncrossing his arms to rest his elbows on his thighs. “I’m surprised you got him upset enough to confess.”

He stares at you as if he’s waiting for some type of response from you, but you give him nothing. You stare back at him, trying to control your breathing and your emotions. He just wants to make you mad. You won’t be giving him the satisfaction.

When you make it clear that you won’t be replying, he shrugs. “I’m sure you remember when Hongjoong and I told you why Mingi came here.” Unfortunately, you remember that night all too well. You hadn’t wanted to believe it at the time, despite a tiny part of yourself knowing that it was true. And, now that Mingi confirmed the facts, it hits all too much more painfully. That’s what Seonghwa was going for then, and it’s what he’s going for now; to hurt you. “Here’s a piece of advice for both of you. Mingi is right to be scared of Hongjoong. Mingi was a means to an end for Hongjoong and, now that we’re at the end…” Seonghwa lets his sentence hang in the air.

The room is silent. You stare across at Seonghwa, registering the information for what it is: a threat. Seonghwa isn’t smiling any longer, though. His face is serious.

If he had still been smiling, you would’ve called his bluff. Like, seriously, it’s a bit ridiculous to have Seonghwa just outright threaten Mingi like that, but you wouldn’t put it past him to say it just to get a rise out of you. But he’s not smiling and there’s no bluff to call.

“Hongjoong is going to kill Mingi?”

Seonghwa shrugs his shoulders lightly, looking away from you as though actually hearing you say it had been too much for him.

“Seonghwa.” You get his attention back. “You can’t just say that and then go silent.”

His eyes meet yours as he shrugs again. “I’m not saying that it’s imminent. I’m just saying that Hongjoong would use any excuse if he thinks Mingi is a threat to…” Seonghwa searches for the right words, clearly not wanting to give you the full story. “His plans.”

You set your jaw, looking down at your hands in your lap. You squeeze them together, cracking each of your knuckles for a moment of distraction. Huh. You’re expecting the weight of this information to hit you at any second, but… it doesn’t. You’re scared for Mingi, yes. Terrified. Horrified that you could be the reason that the both of you are in this situation, mortified that you could be the reason he dies. But the actual… emotion… isn’t there.

It’ll come, but apparently not now. Some things are too much to fully comprehend as they happen. Is this normally how people react when they find out things like this? Coldly? Numbly? Granted, it’s not a common situation to find out that someone close to you is apparently one misstep away from being murdered, but… There must be some sort of proper reaction. Is this it?

Still looking at your hands, “Seonghwa, please.” You’re not sure if he’s looking at you, you don’t even care if he is or not. “Can’t you- I don’t- why, why can’t you… can’t you just tell me what’s coming?” You flick your eyes up to look at him. He’s shaking his head.

You’re not sure what hits you, but it’s suddenly imperative that Seonghwa understands your desperation. You unlink your hands, pushing yourself off of the couch. You take the few steps separating the couch from the chair Seonghwa sits on, stopping with your feet between his own. He looks up at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “Let me go. Right now, just, let’s go outside and just let me go.”

“What? Princess, I, no, no tha—”

“I distinctly remember you once telling me that Hongjoong would forgive you if you killed me. Just, just let me go and tell him I’m dead.” You’re not really thinking as you’re speaking.

“(Y/n).” Your name sounds entirely foreign in his voice. Seonghwa is clearly dumbfounded. “He wouldn’t. That was a lie. He would never, ever forgive me, he’d kill me.”

You grab his shoulders, bending to fall onto your knees in front of him. “Come with me, we can go together.”

Seonghwa is shaking his head before you even finish the plea. “I can’t leave him, princess.”

You let go of him, letting yourself fall back onto your ass in front of him. You frown, not that you had really, truly expected anything different. “Aren’t you scared of him?”

He contemplates you from his now higher position, shaking his head. “I love him.”

Wrapping your arms around your knees, you pull them up to your chest in front of you. “He doesn’t know what love is.”

His brows furrow as if he’s confused you would even say such a thing. “I know. Get up.” His voice loses any softness that it had held with his last sentiment. There goes that moment.

When you don’t instantly obey, opting to instead regard him with mild resentment, he continues. “I’m going to do you a favor, princess, and not mention that little outburst to Hongjoong. I’m sure you’ve proposed comparative ideas to San and been rejected. Wisely. It’d be foolish to bring up these ideas again, so I’ll let it go trusting that you’ll see reason.” He tilts his head, scowling down at you. “Didn’t I tell you to get up?”

You glare up at him, making a point to let go of your legs so that you can cross your arms over your chest. You fold your legs back under you, making it clear that you won’t be moving.

“Princess,” Seonghwa leans forward, bending at his waist to lower himself to your eye line. “You must see how this is a compromising position. You really shouldn’t be on your knees in front of a man that isn’t Hongjoong.”

Frowning, you scootch yourself back a few inches to put more distance between yourself and Seonghwa. “You really are a pervert, huh?”

“I meant nothing sexual, princess.” His tone is nearly too serious, an unidentifiable edge to his words.

While mumbling something under your breath like ‘yeah right I’m sure,’ you begrudgingly get back to your feet and return to the couch; only because the floor was starting to get uncomfortable. Not because you’re listening to him, obviously.

Seonghwa observes you harshly as you make yourself comfortable. If you didn’t know better, you would say he looks frustrated. Frustrated, frustrated.

But, of course, this is Seonghwa you’re talking about. No way. Not over you.

…

You swallow, really looking at him for the first time in quite a while. Seonghwa is… not ugly. You’ve noticed this many times before. Even as he stares at you like he would gladly spit on your grave, he’s…

No, you don’t even want to think it. You’re obviously completely misreading his look. You’re not going down this road right now, no thank you.

…….

Unless he’s gonna go down this road right now, then you might consider it. You’re only human.

Even if Seonghwa is objectively evil and has threatened you on numerous occasions and is a loyal cult member and is Hongjoong’s closest confidant… he’s hot. And its been a long time.

Certainly this can be rationalized somehow. That’s for the you of the future, though, as far as you’re concerned. You can think hard and reflect on your actions after it happens. If anything happens. Not that it will.

You clear your throat, dragging your eyes off of Seonghwa. “Is it hot in here?” With one hand, you unbutton just one of the top buttons holding your shirt together, grabbing the material and shaking it a bit for ventilation.

When Seonghwa doesn’t respond, you hazard to look back at him. Your eyes lock and, if looks could kill, you’re sure you’d be dead. Your hand on your shirt halts, flattening against your chest.

Seonghwa’s fists are tightly clenched at his sides, his knuckles so white you question whether or not it’s possible to break your own fingers from squeezing too hard.

He swallows hard, breaking your eye contact to look down at his lap. “I hate you.” He almost says it too quietly for you to hear. He looks up sharply, your eyes locking once more. “I hate you.” He repeats himself, with more conviction this time.

You don’t move, staying frozen in your seat.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

You truthfully don’t know what he means, so you opt to look back down at your hands.

“I didn’t say look away.”

You raise your head again, not afraid to show your annoyance. “How am I looking at you?”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes, but you can see the way his hands clench at his knees. “With your little fuck-me eyes,” he sighs loudly, “its driving me fucking crazy.”

… So there it is. You can’t resist the smile spreading across your face, eager to hear that you’re both apparently on the same page. “Clearly.”

Seonghwa leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Can I… just, just— God, just come here.” He beckons you toward him, pointing to the spot between his legs.

“Why.” You ask without changing your inclination. You know perfectly well why.

He sits up straight, his glare stronger than ever. “Come here.”

Though the logical side of you refuses, the illogical side apparently has control over your body. You step closer to him, taking just a few small steps before landing in the space between his knees.

“You… might be the devil.” Seonghwa, now eye-to-’eye’ with your midriff, sucks in a breath. His hands clench where they rest on his knees. He turns his face upward to look at you, nearly grimacing at your proximity. “What is it,” he asks, whispering, “that you have… that I don’t?”

Hesitantly, he releases his hands, flexing his fingers. His fingertips ghost across the backs of your knees, sending a tingle up your legs.

“May I?” He breathes the question, barely enunciating the words.

You swallow hard, your own hands clenching hard at your sides. What the fuck have you gotten in to?

And why are you into it?

“Yes.”

Seonghwa closes his eyes, lowering his face so as to not look at you any further. He exhales deeply, his breath passing through the light cotton of your shirt and warming your stomach. His hands wrap around your lower thighs so forcefully that you nearly have to grab onto him to steady yourself. You catch yourself in part thanks to your own reflexes, but mainly due to Seonghwa pushing you back into a steady position.

His thumbs brush up and down against the denim of your pants, his fingers pressing into the flesh of your thighs. His hands creep slowly upward as he tilts his face downward to monitor their progress. He rests his forehead against your stomach, his lips tantalizingly close to the waistband of your jeans.

He groans as his fingers reach the curve of your ass, forgoing the creative use of his thumbs to devote his entire hands to exploring the flesh there. If Seonghwa was anything like any other man you’ve ever been near in such a context, he wouldn’t stop with the ass groping until you made him.

But it seems like he’s not. His hands continue steadily upwards, though at a nearly agonizing pace. Once his hands are on your waist, he freezes. He turns to look up at you once more, an unrecognizable look in his eyes. Seonghwa holds your gaze as he pinches the fabric of your shirt at either of your sides, slowly pulling it upward until the edges are coming untucked.

You would follow his memo and pull the rest out yourself. But this is Seonghwa. So you make him do it all himself, much to his clear dismay. He bites his lip as he pulls out the front bit, his eyes dragging over the new expanse of skin as he holds the ends up. For a brief second, it looks like he’s going to kiss you, but he snaps himself out of it quick enough to stop.

“Sit down.” He says, not looking up at you.

“Wher—”

You can’t even finish the question before he’s pulling you downward via your belt loops. “Where else, princess?”

You get the memo. You do have to grab onto his shoulders to stop yourself from completely toppling over him, this time, though. “A little eager, Seonghwa?” You tease, though you’re straddling his lap with quite the speed of your own.

He finishes untucking your shirt as you settle onto him. “Very eager, even?” He grunts as you roll your hips against him. “Didn’t you once tell me that you found me sexually repulsive? Is that true?”

“Shut up.” His hands move up your shirt, thumbs brushing over the delicate skin of your torso. You shudder despite yourself, his fingers nearly tickling you as they trail upward.

Sense be absolutely damned.

You take your hands from Seonghwa’s shoulders, moving to start undoing the buttons at the top of your shirt.

Seonghwa’s hands move quicker than yours, apparently. He snatches both of your wrists before you can undo a single button, freezing you in place. “What?” You breath, genuinely asking.

He looks straight into your eyes, quickly glancing between the two of them as he wets his lips. “You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

He clenches his jaw. “I won’t be able to resist myself.” His hands squeeze your wrists tighter together in an effort to keep you from continuing.

“So?” You whisper, not having to fight hard to get Seonghwa to drop your wrists. You move your hands away from your shirt to rest on his cheeks. You take the moment to admire his features, something that you would, of course, never ordinarily do. But it doesn’t count this time. Seonghwa is beautiful.

“Hongjoong would be-” You shift, grinding into him. “Furious… if I had you.” Seonghwa bites his lip as he looks down to where you sit on his lap. He rests his hands on your hips, gripping you strongly. “Furious.” He whispers mainly to himself, rocking your hips forward with his hands.

You whine, dropping your hands from his face to his chest. “But how would he know?”

Seonghwa produces a smile that’s almost a grimace. “He just would, princess.”

“So this,” you lean into his motions, easing them along, “isn’t going to happen?”

Seonghwa shakes his head, though makes no effort to stop. “Not without permission.”

You do freeze, then, flexing to stop him from being able to move you further. “Fine.” Recalling some of your own head, you add, “but good luck getting me this close again.”

“You would be so lucky,” Seonghwa moves one of his hands off of your hip to rest at the back of your neck. He eases your face closer to his own, stopping you millimeters away. “Princess.” He speaks the word against your lips before connecting them with his.

The kiss is short, but not sweet.

“I know what it is.” He whispers against you. “Do you?”

You pull away from him, your hands still planted on his chest. “What what is?”

He raises his eyebrows. “What you have that I don’t.”

You shrug, unsure of what he means. In truth, there are so many differences between the two of you that picking just one would be much too difficult.

“I’m not going to tell you.” He smiles. “Not right now, at least.”

“Asshole.” You whisper, and for more reasons than one.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Lunch is served shortly after your… indiscretion.

The cafeteria is as lively as ever, the excitement of the trip to town keeping the group quite invigorated. Though Seonghwa doesn’t leave your side, not much passes between the two of you while eating. Rather, an extremely, painfully awkward silence weighs on the both of you.

You ask if you can visit Wooyoung, but he quickly shuts the idea down by insisting that you finish your lunch instead of ‘daydreaming.’ Whatever he means by that. You know that you certainly aren’t daydreaming about anyone.

As you finish eating, you look around for Mingi. As has become the norm these days, you’re not able to spot him at any of the tables. You sincerely hope that he’s still eating as much as normal, and not skipping meals for the sake of ignoring you. Not that you think he is, but, with Yunho in town… who's feeding him if not himself?

Seonghwa snaps his fingers in front of your face. “Hello? Come on, we’re leaving.”

You glare up at him as he stands, gesturing impatiently for you to follow his movements. He gathers both of your trays, disposing of the plates and the garbage as he leads you out of the cafeteria and back up to his apartment.

Seonghwa slams the door behind you, leaving you wondering what on earth you’d managed to do in the complete silence of lunch that pissed him off again. Certainly nothing. That’s just how Seonghwa… is.

You return to your place on the couch, not surprised when Seonghwa also returns to the chair he had sat in before. The silence carries on between you two, dragging the time along.

Staring at your nails, you pick at your cuticles. You vaguely wonder if anyone on the farm is any good at nail care. Had you ever seen someone with painted nai—

“I’m going to give you more relationship advice.” Seonghwa says, leaning onto the arm of his chair and facing you fully.

You frown at him. Frankly, you had had enough of Seonghwa’s voice for one day. And enough of his ‘advice’ and his attitude and his face. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

Seonghwa sighs, rolling his eyes again. “Weird, I don’t remember asking.” He shrugs his shoulders, feigning confusion before catching you off guard with his first sentence. “San is falling for you, and, if I were you, that would scare me. Not just because San is one of the weirdest people I know, but because this is all happening down to the minute detail that Hongjoong planned. He wants San to fall for you, because he wants to get rid of him. Simple as that, blood on your hands.”

You decorate your face with the blankest stare you can muster. “If you’re jealous, Seonghwa, you can just say so.” The joke comes out to hide the way that your stomach flips with his statement. You cannot hear this type of bullshit again. There’s only so many people that you can feel responsible for.

“I would never be jealous of another man’s relationship with you, princess.” He smiles tightly. “Hongjoong has a mind unlike anyone I’ve ever met; he’ll go to great lengths to get what he wants.” Seonghwa’s voice is tinged with admiration as he says this. “I know you haven’t read ahead in The Answer yet.”

You shake your head, not offering any other response.

“I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but he’s going to kill you. One day. He’ll give it a fancy name and a pretty ceremony, but it’s killing you all the same. Maybe by then you’ll believe him, though, and you won’t be scared.” Seonghwa sneers, continuing. “Until then, he has plenty of uses for you, though. Don’t get excited thinking that you’ll be free of this anytime soon.”

You want to protest what he’s saying, but you’re sure that its true. Why else would Hongjoong have such a vested interest in you? Wouldn’t you be dead right now if not for the fact that Hongjoong saw something special in you? That night that you had run, what had stopped Hongjoong from having Seonghwa kill you? You find the only silver lining in what Seonghwa just told you, grasping onto it.

“Maybe by then I’ll believe him? And I won’t be scared?” You whisper, trying your hardest to goad Seonghwa into what you want him to admit.

Seonghwa nods, “You wouldn’t think you’re being killed, but rather serving some sort of higher purpose.”

You look down at your lap, trying to keep yourself from smiling. Does Seonghwa even realize what he just told you? You look up at him through your lashes, attempting some semblance of innocence. “But… you think I would just be dying? Not… serving the purpose Hongjoong says?”

Seonghwa’s smile falls dramatically, his expression completely hardening. “That’s not what I meant.”

A small smile graces your face. “Oh, but its what you said.”

“I know you wouldn’t dare imply that I don’t believe in The Answer.” Seonghwa’s voice has taken on a new edge, one that actually does worry you.

You shrug. “It’s just that… that’s what it sounded like you were insinuating, that’s all.”

Seonghwa clenches his jaw hard enough for you to hear it. “You’re going to drop this topic and never bring it up again, princess.”

“I don’t see why you’re so defensive if you really d—”

Seonghwa is standing in front of you before you can even comprehend that he’s moved, his hands gripping your shoulders with so much force that it’s hard to believe he had been so gentle with you earlier. “I’d kill anyone else that insinuated the things that you’re saying, princess.” His expression is so angry that he looks nearly crazed, and you don’t doubt him for a second. “You’ll shut up, if you know what’s good for you.”

You nod your head quickly, emphasizing your agreement. “I’ll never bring it up again.” You blink up at Seonghwa, but his grip on your shoulders only gets tighter. “I promise.”

He scoffs, releasing you but not without a final shove. It doesn’t do much, as you’re already sitting with your back against the couch, but you feel the intent behind it.

You decide that it’s best to not provoke him anymore. At least, not today.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The party returns in the early evening.

San and Hongjoong arrive at Seonghwa’s door together, Hongjoong not bothering to knock before letting himself into the apartment.

You jump as the door flies open, the sudden intrusion scaring the shit out of you. Somehow, you completely missed the sound of the cars pulling up, and the welcoming cheers of the common people as the adventurers returned.

Hongjoong says his greetings to the both of you, but you hardly hear him as your eyes lock with San’s. You feel… so many things. Mainly sick. Is it really your responsibility to push him away? Is Seonghwa telling you the truth? Would you take the chance?

You swallow hard as his face lights up, excited to see you. He beckons for you to come over to where he remains in Seonghwa’s doorway. You hazard a glance at Hongjoong, but he doesn’t seem to notice. San reaches for your hand once you’re close enough, lacing your fingers together as he calls over your shoulder that you’re leaving. Neither Hongjoong nor Seonghwa respond, and you allow San to drag you across the hall to your shared apartment.

San lets go of you once you’re in the apartment, shutting the door gently behind himself after ushering you inside. “Sit, sit, please.”

You sit on your own couch in the same exact spot you had been sitting on Seonghwa’s all day.

“I was able to fulfill your request,” he starts, unzipping a backpack that he must have brought upstairs before he collected you. “I’m not sure if you’ve read this one, and I’m sorry if you have, but there really weren’t that many options in town. If you had asked for, like, windshield wiper fluid, sure, but books…” He inhales sharply as he finds what he’s looking for, pulling the book out of the backpack and placing it in your hands.

You smile once you read the title. Misery. Isn’t that comedic? You actually do laugh, giggling into your hand as tears prick in your eyes. The irony is almost painful. A book about a man being held captive by an insane, book-obsessed serial killer for months on end… haha. Ha.

“Have you read it?” San asks, sitting next to you.

You clutch the book in your hands, smiling at the cover in an attempt to get yourself together. “I’ve seen the movie.”

San reaches for the book, and you hand it over easily enough. “Me too.” He looks at you, an unrecognizable expression on his face. He raises a hand, wiping away a tear that manages to escape your eye. “Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head, mustering a smile for him. “It’s just quite the selection, is all.”

“It was between that and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, so, like, yeah.”

That makes you laugh. “You made the right choice, then. Thank you, San.” He nods his head as he hands the book back to you, smiling now that you’re laughing.

“You’re welcome. I was stressed trying to find any books in town so, again, sorry if its not something that you would’ve picked for yourself.”

You assure him that its okay once again, hugging the novel to your chest. Definitely not something you would’ve picked, given the circumstances, but it still shows you that San cares…

Which is an entirely different thing. Maybe Seonghwa was at least right about San… having feelings for you. But, honestly, you’re human beings. You can only be with someone for every waking second for so long before developing feelings for them. San really can’t be blamed and… neither can…

Nope. You’re not going to think it. If you had feelings for San, would you really have allowed Seonghwa to grope you? Huh? Yeah, think about that for a second.

Wait, no, don’t think about that. That whole situation needs to be put as far out of your mind as physically possible. It would be best for you to simply forget that this entire day even happened. Like, clearly, you had some massive lapse of judgment. And you’re only human. So you can’t blame yourself for having human urges. But, like, what the fuck? Seonghwa? Seonghwa? You let Seonghwa have his way with you when you literally share a bed with San? A man that has never threatened your life or hurt you by any emotional or physical means?

… Anyways, ignoring any such emotions… which you don’t have, of course… San’s potential feelings for you are an entirely separate thing. Also, what did Seonghwa mean when he said that San is ‘one of the weirdest people he knows?’ Should that be a good sign to you, considering Seonghwa is quite the freak show himself? Or is that really bad, because for one freak to think another person is a freak they must really be a freak? You’ve never once gotten the sense that San could be… weird (well, beyond weirder than any other cult member)... but maybe he’s a good actor…

No. That all seems too unrealistic. Whatever Seonghwa meant, he probably was just trying to freak you out. Clearly he’s trying to goad you out of whatever blooming relationship might be happening, and for God knows whatever reason. That’s Seonghwa’s business. When have you ever cared what he thinks about you?

You put the thought out of your mind. It’s not something that you’re going to dwell on. You could assume the worst from everyone that you meet, but that would quickly lead to quite the dreary life. You’re obviously stuck here for some time, it’s probably better to not question those that seem to have good intentions… but for the sake of survival… you actually probably should.

Fuck this. It’s all too complicated for your tired mind after the day that you’ve had. You can debate with yourself the morals of your actions and the motivations of others’ another day.

“How was the trip?” You ask, sliding the book out of your lap and onto the coffee table in front of you. “Did you find everything okay?”

San frowns. “We didn’t, actually. Hongjoong got all weird toward the end so we left before finding a few things…” He trails off, seemingly thinking about what it was that they missed.

“Oh? What happened?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t even know. He was fine and then Yunho said something to a store clerk and Hongjoong flipped. I think he’s just getting jumpy because the harvest is coming up, but it was…” San swallows. “Strange. Anyways, we missed a few things. I don’t think it’ll be a big deal, though.”

You consider this for a second. San is right, that does sound strange. What could Yunho have said? … Another thing to think about later. “Did you get Yeosang his hair dye?” You smile, calling back the absolutely monstrous list of requests he had compiled.

“Thankfully,” San chuckles, “Or I’d be in trouble.”

The conversation lulls into silence, a comfortable one. You sit next to each other, simply… being.

San breaks the silence after what feels like a while. “Is it weird if I say that I missed you?”

Your stomach flips. You turn to look at him, allowing yourself a small smile. “I don’t think so.” You’re not about to own up to it too, but… Not that you had really been thinking about San until Seonghwa brought him up, but you would’ve much rather spent the day at his side than Seonghwa’s. After spending so much time with San, it did feel a bit… weird to be apart from him for so long.

“Okay, then; I missed you, today.” He smiles and your stomach does another twirl. Uh oh.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The rest of the evening passes without fanfare. You get dinner with San, ignoring Seonghwa as hard as humanly possible. You look around for Mingi but, once again, are unsuccessful in finding him.

You pass the time by talking with San about town. Apparently, it had been just as dead as he remembered it being. Not much had happened, beyond whatever made Hongjoong upset, but he didn’t even know what that had been. Thankfully, they had gotten their hands on all of the essentials before they had to leave. And, according to San, your car still runs like a beauty. Ouch.

You now lie awake in bed, wondering if you’re going to regret every decision that you’ve made today. There have been some dicey ones, you must admit. You certainly hope that this new one isn’t dicey, too.

“San?” You whisper in the dark, rolling over on your side so that you face him. He’s already faced toward you, though you can’t make out his expression in the dark. “Are you still awake?”

If this is gonna happen, it might as well happen now.

“Yeah.” San murmurs the reply, and you make your move before you can question yourself.

You need a distraction. And you like San.

You scootch yourself closer to him, crossing the invisible border that the two of you had established. Your hand reaches into the dark, finding the side of his face to use as a guide. When you’re certain of your target, you close the gap between your faces, pressing a kiss to his lips.

You pull away quickly, leaving the kiss as chaste as you had meant it to be. You don’t go far, however, opting to stare at San in the dark as he processes. His eyes are wide, that much you can tell, but it’s far too dark to make out much beyond that.

Forget Mingi. Forget Seonghwa. Forget Hongjoong. Forget everything they’ve said and everything they’ve tried to keep from you.

“Did you mean to do that?” San whispers, his own hand coming to rest at the base of your throat.

You hum an affirmation, not trusting your words.

His thumb strokes along your neck, sending goosebumps down your body. “Are you sure?”

“I am.”

San closes the gap once more, kissing you just barely. His lips are as pillowy soft as you had imagined, his hesitance making the kiss all the more gentle.

You expect to feel guilty. But it doesn’t come.

San does. He pulls his face from yours, though just barely. “We really,” his breath warms your face as he pauses mid-sentence. “We shouldn’t, (Y/n).” Despite his words, he makes no more of an attempt to put more distance between yourselves.

He continues rubbing your neck with his thumb, the touch so light that its nearly ticklish. “Goodnight, (Y/n).” San rolls over, allowing no time for you to reflect on his words. The warmth of his body is immediately missed, your side of the bed suddenly feeling much too chilly.

Another dicey decision, apparently.

← previous || next → || masterlist

a/n: [spongebob voice] this is humiliating ... BE NICE TO ME OKAY i tried :LKKJFDLKSJFLKJSDF

#OH MY GOD!&$>@&$<=<×[%&#theres so MUCH AGONYYY #TO SAY!!!#LAUREN!!@ LAUREN UR AMAZING IM CRYING #AHHHHHHHHHHHH #AGONY #hongjoong.... ur a bad guy but why do i feel this way </3 #mingi stop playing the mc is about to move on to greater horizons 😪 meaning seonghwa !? HELLO!?#SEONGHWA!!!#GOODNESS !!?!?@^$×>$^#the way i was squealing is legit embarrassing id never confess it to anyone if asked #but EHMN ASIDE FROM MY SCREAMING #i mean i know hj is weird but #the way he rejected sh 😭😭😭 i know hwa isnt the greatest guy in the world but </3 my love my precious u deserve better #san driving her car was taking me out JDHSNDN #also hwa saying that hj plans on getting rid of mingi/san.....#he MIGHT have been lying about mc but the other two seems v plausible #idk what his end goal is but hes smart as hell #manipulating mingi into coming to the farm and planting everything so it ends up as he wants is V likely #but how does he know the mc.... did he see her one day and was like i want her!? i need to know 😭😭😭#anyway amazing chapter as usual best fic ever </3 #nothing compares HURGH #fic recs

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autobot-bumblebee · 6 years ago

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my brother talking about how people working at minimum wage jobs don’t deserve to earn a livable salary because they didn’t take the opportunities given to them makes me feel like he’s shitting on my aunts who had to grow up without a mother jumping from foster home to foster home because they couldn't live with their alcoholic father anymore and are still working ‘entry level’ jobs that they’ve had for years because they could never afford college and start a family like they want to.

he also said that black people deserve to be oppressed and only wont be oppressed when they stop blaming everyone else and realize its their fault.

#he's a racist piece of shit who doesn't think he's racist because he has 1 black friend!#he's insensitive and thinks he knows everything because he got a community college degree!!! so he's 'college educated'#you didnt expand your horizons past the racist midwest justin #you got a goddamn degree in gunsmithing #and newsflash asshole: the money you got when grandpa died payed for that so you wouldnt go into debt #some people arent that lucky to have a relative kick the bucket so they can afford school #and you know not pay a dime of their own money to do it #and the people who go to 4 year universities like me are even more in debt #that a small inheritance may only pay for a semester #god he's such a self centered asshole who only cares about guns and fucking #i know this is bad to say but he needs a reality check in the form of a huge financial burden that his $15/hr job cant afford #then maybe he'd change his tune #but he wont because he never does!

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katyobsesses · 3 years ago

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#I'm feeling kinda proud of myself rn #<3 #I've done the washing up and put on a load of laundry and have everything i need open to message a therapist to enquire-#-about going to them for therapy #sure i haven't done that yet #but I've DONE THINGS #and that is so good omg #sure i also have the house to myself today because my mum's at the office but #god i always feel more productive when she's not here #more free #not that she'd mind if i did stuff with her here but /I/ mind. my anxiety minds #so i just do nothing when she's working in the living room #i know she hates going to the office but sometimes i wish she only worked there and not from home #i miss having a space to myself so much omg #i just want one week alone so bad #one week with no expectations looming on the horizon #katy liveblogs life 2022

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moxfirefly · 2 years ago

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Rated Some What Spicy.

A little something that came to mind and I’m gifting it to @turtle-babe83

The feeling coiled within his stomach, deep and low to the point that he thought he was going to puke.

One can puke from excitement, right?

Because he was just about to prove it.

There was no anxious mission, no fighting about to start. He was simply existing within himself and probably training his green eyes at you. Watching carefully as you moved about the space. A section of his brain screamed at him to stop, to quit staring and shut his brain off.

But, fuck…

How could he? He hasn’t succeeded in doing so since the first day he had met you. The very second you had smiled up at him, something sweet and innocent that he wanted to eat.

He wanted to eat you.

Not in the full definition of the word, but the spirit of it. He wondered what sinking his teeth into sensitive gentle flesh would feel like. He wondered what the shape of his name would sound like exhaled from your throat. He wondered what the sweat that clung to your skin would mingle like with his seed sprayed against it.

Raph swallowed, audibly, but it proved useless to swallow the metaphorical knot stuck in his throat.

He picked up a piece of candy that April had flung towards Mikey’s direction not five minutes ago. Concentrated on the mundane task of unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. The swirl of his tongue wrapped around t until the gooey centered spilled.

And yet all his brain could picture was your lips, his dick and that atrociously desperate need to see your swallow him whole.

His teeth broke the candy, loud enough that April cringed.

“You alright big guy?” She asked, avoiding another onslaught of Mikey hurling popcorn at her. They had been engaged in a hefty debate on what tonight’s movie marathon genre should be.

Raph hadn’t been mentally present for half of it. He had personally checked out when you had pushed your seat out and gotten up to get the food ready. The whole motion of movement had made your skirt floosh and the faintest reveal of thigh had been enough to send him into his own personal horny hell.

“M’fine, just getting a headache from Mikey defending The Matrix so much” He managed to move his eyes from you to cast a glare at his youngest brother.

“We can’t watch a Patrick Swayze marathon for the fifth time dude, we gotta expand our horizons” He was adamant that Mikey simply wanted to bust his balls.

“One doesn’t get tired of Point Break” Was his final statement before April offered up another trilogy as an option.

The five minute break had helped, the candy had fully melted in his mouth and by the time his eyes found you like autopilot, you had gone to the bathroom by the lack of your presence.

“Keep an eye on the food numbnuts, be right back, and no April we ain’t watching Jennifer’s Body, ya get a weird look in yer eye when that broad goes berserk on them dudes” Her huff made him smile but why were his legs lifting him up and delivering him towards the bathroom that surely was occupied?

Had he finally fucking lost his mind?

He silently prayed he’d trip and perish on his way but much to his dismay he was at the door just as you began to step out. The little jump was endearing, the wide look in your eyes quickly changing before the nervous laugh kicked in.

“Jesus I didn’t hear you” You commented with a giggle.

“My bad, ninja shit and all that” He felt his tongue was made of clay.

“Well naturally you’d be good at sneaking around, so what’s the finale decision for the marathon?” You asked, peaking a glance behind him as the debate for The Matrix had now been swapped for Rush Hour.

Raph swallowed, eyes taking in your small frame compared to his massive one. The concept of how you’d look beneath him punched him in the gut and exhilarated him all at once.

God he wanted to fucking eat you up.

“…Do ya wanna skip the movie?”

It was out of his mouth before he could shove it back down his esophagus.

“What? Like not watch them?” You weren’t taken aback, merely intrigued by his sudden change. But he could tell there was a little beneath your words an almost hopeful want.

It took a great deal for Raph to unglue his mouth, a rattle in his spirits as the adrenaline zig zagged inside of his veins.

“Kinda just wanna hang with ya…just us” He whispered it, a little nugget of information that found itself smacking your concern into a grin.

Why were you grinning?

Oh fuck!

“If you wanna be alone with me all you had to do was ask, is that it? Is that what you want Raphie?” His palms felt sweaty, he felt his stomach do a violent somersaults but your grin, your eyes casted upwards at him didn’t allow him to move. All he could muster was a nod, slow and meaningful enough to make your eyes shiny with curiosity.

Did you know? Could you read every shameful thought that’s ran through his brain all these years?

The aftertaste of the candy still clung to the inside of his cheeks, it mixed with the little saliva he had left from swallowing so much.

“Hey Mike, watch the food, something came up and Raph’s gotta take me home!” There was a muffled yeah yeah yeah from him and before Raph could look back your hand was in his.

Soft skin on his callouses.

“Well, let’s go” You smiled whilst leading him towards one of the exits in the Lair.

He allowed you to tug him, mind too wrapped up still on how your hand felt against his own. That impossible desire to pull back against him, to feel your further against him.

That need to consume you ran through his body like electricity.

What the fuck was he getting himself into?

#paimon writes #tmnt bayverse #tmnt raphael x reader #raphael x reader #raph x reader #raphael #tmnt raphael #gift fic #turtle-babe83

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slashersteve · 3 years ago

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Next Best Thing to An Angel

requested by anonymous

pairing: Steve Harrington/Henderson!Female Reader

summary: Reader has been cursed by Vecna, and the group has to work fast in order to find a way to rid her of it. There's too many close calls, and just when they thought they had it figured out...it just might be too late.

warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of blood, violence due to fucked up visions brought to you by Vecna, near death experiences, >>>ST4 V1 SPOILERS<<<, this is beta read by the bestie @dearneverlander so it should be ~crisp~

note: There's references to the 1984 movie Streets of Fire aka one of my fave 80s Rock and Roll Fables. You don't need to know the exact plot, but just know it's an important movie and soundtrack to the reader <3 This took me a bit to write because I wanted it to be hella good. Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy!

✧ ✧ ✧

It started just a day after your cheer teammate and one of your closest friends, Chrissy Cunningham, told you she was having problems. You were perhaps one of the only people who was aware of what she was going through, not even her boyfriend knew about her horrible headaches or the growing nightmares.

When she told you, she seemed so scared. It was so unlike her that it scared you to see her act in such a way, so much that you thought you scared yourself into experiencing the same things or that maybe she caught an illness and gave it to you.

The first thing that happened was a nosebleed. You were at the Hawkins Family Video Store, waiting for your boyfriend Steve to finish renting out a video to a customer so you can help him pick out a movie to put on.

You were reading the back of a tape that Robin had handed you prior, since she was trying to broaden yours and Steve's movie horizons because according to her you both were ‘hopeless’ when it came to your movie knowledge.

"I don't know about this one Robin," You called to her.

"What? God, you're so lame, you and Steve are probably just going to put on Streets of Fire again,” she replied from somewhere behind you.

You chuckled to yourself, "Not exactly a bad idea."

"Did you say Streets of Fire?" Steve questioned after the customer had left, leaving just you three and a handful of patrons who were still trying to find movies to watch, "I love that movie. It's pretty damn romantic."

You laughed and agreed while Robin scoffed and pushed the video cart aside.

"Excuse me? Did you say romantic? He punches her in the face," Robin reminded you both. You cringed.

"Okay, not that part, but even then it's taken out of context- just- whatever, it's a good movie," you tried to defend it, "Plus, the soundtrack is pretty killer."

"I’m still not over you both thinking it’s romantic. Context considered and all, but they don't even end up together in the end," Robin replied, you sighed.

"It's about the closure, Robin, he just left her without a word, and after he saves her from Raven, they finally get it, it is romantic in it's own way," you set the other tape down, ready to put it on the video store's TV out of spite.

"Right. Well, at least Diane Lane is hot in it...and yeah, I'll give you the soundtrack, it is pretty good."

Steve laughed to himself, enjoying how much you loved and defended the movie because he knew why you liked it so much. It was the movie you and him watched on your very first date two years ago at a drive-in. Since then, it has been your favorite movie of all time.

"I think you secretly like the movie, Robin, and since it's my turn to pick a movie," Steve had grabbed it from where it sat conveniently under the counter and handed it to you, "Go ahead and put it on." You hopped off of the counter with a satisfied grin while Robin sighed dramatically and crossed her arms.

You removed the tape from its case, and leaned up, ready to insert it into the player when your mind suddenly became foggy. It felt odd, like an invisible force had violently washed over you and caused a pulsing pain in your head that almost mirrored a migraine.

The tape slipped from your grasp, crashing onto the ground as you brought your hand to your forehead. The clatter of the tape hitting the ground was what had brought you back to reality after a few seconds, and Steve was beside you.

"Woah, are you okay-” he stopped when his brown eyes fell to the bottom part of your face. You blinked, still a little disoriented from the random headache.

“Oh shit, Henderson, your nose,” Robin said what Steve didn’t, her eyes on the same place Steve’s were. You lifted your hand to below your nose, instantly feeling something wet and sticky.

When you looked at your fingers, you saw it was blood.

It didn't scare you more than it had confused you. You hadn't gotten one in so long, and the last time your nose did bleed was when a sophomore girl trying out for the cheer team kicked you in the nose by accident.

After this incident, the days following felt almost like hell. You'd wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares, all of them about either losing Steve or your little brother Dustin, and you were taking Tylenol more frequently for these massive headaches that never seemed to go away.

You could only think of Chrissy, and what she had told you, and wonder if she passed you some kind of illness. You tried talking to her again during practice or in the halls, but she seemed keen on continuing to pretend that she was alright, and maybe she was because she still cheered and ruled the school with a smile on her face.

You thought if she could do it, then so could you. Unlike her though, you had a boyfriend who could see right through the facade and had a brother who could relay to him how weird you've been acting when Steve asked. He had told Steve the nights you’ve canceled on dates or meet-ups with him and Robin in the past few days you were actually locked away in your room. It was very uncharacteristic of you, considering you were out almost every other day, either with your friends or with Steve.

When Steve insisted you let him drop you off at Hawkins High and asked you what had been going on when Robin left first, you didn’t really understand why your first instinct was to withhold the truth.

"I just haven't been feeling well," you told him, while pretending you were fixing your lipstick, "I think I...caught something.”

"Something how?" Steve asked, concern etched all over his features, “It must be bad because you look like you haven’t been sleeping either.”

You pressed your lips together because you were positive you packed on enough make-up to hide those dark circles that had started form.

You didn't want to tell him about your nightmares, not wanting to worry him for what you thought were just dreams. It made you feel bad because you've never shied away from telling Steve anything, but you were scared if you said anything whatever it was would get him too. Your dreams were too...vivid and real.

It was always about the day you both were interrogated by the Russian Guards, and every time you didn't answer they hurt him and not you. They made you believe they had killed him, that you were the reason he was dead. And there was that…room.

"Just headaches, mostly," you said quietly, shutting the mirror and resting your hands above your Hawkins cheer skirt.

Steve had looked suspicious, and he said, “Should you do the pep rally then? Or the game tonight? I know it’s the championship but…” You had forced a sweet smile his way and leaned toward him.

"I'll be okay, I promise," you tried to assure him with a peck on his cheek, leaving the pink residue of your lipstick there, “I love it when you care so much.” You were gone and out of the car before Steve could say anything more.

Steve had noticed since that day you were different, it almost felt like you were pulling away from him emotionally in a way. For almost two years you've been in this relationship, and when you've gotten sick in the past, you never had done this.

Something else was wrong, but neither of you would find out until after Chrissy Cunningham's death.

✧ ✧ ✧

"The curse of Vecna," Dustin Henderson and Eddie Munson had both said at the same time.

"The curse of who?" Steve asked. You had scrunched your face up with confusion.

"Are you two talking about that wizard from Dungeons and Dragons?" you asked, knowing this information because Dustin always bothered you by explaining all of the campaigns he did to you during dinner mostly.

"Not just a wizard, a dark wizard," Dustin told you, "He uses a magic spell on the players called Vecna's curse."

"Do you really think that's what it is?" Max had asked from beside Robin, "I mean…”

"Only one way to find out. What else have you experienced?" Dustin's question was toward you now, and you uncomfortably crossed your arms over your chest, not sure what to say.

Eddie blinked a few times as he looked between Dustin and you before he asked, "Wait, why are you asking her?"

Steve's hand rested on the small of your back, and you exhaled shakenly, "Because about a week ago, Chrissy confided in me about these...nightmares and headaches she'd been getting. And about a day after that...I started to get the same kind of symptoms and now Chrissy is dead and I-" you closed your lips and shook your head.

Eddie stared at you, "Oh shit."

Steve rubbed your back affectionately, "Okay, so now that we think we know what it is, how it works...is there any way to stop it?"

"Okay, okay, first up, didn't you say something about a nosebleed?" Dustin's question was directed at you again. You looked at your little brother and nodded.

"Yeah, about 6 days ago at the video store...Steve and Robin were there."

Nobody noticed how Max shifted uncomfortably in her spot upon hearing your words.

Robin nodded, "Yeah I remember that...god this is insane. I mean, last time it was insane too, but this is just...yikes."

As they continued to discuss possible ways to stop this curse they believe you had, you started to feel very uneasy. Chills had crawled their way up your back, making you tense up and bite your lip to stop it from quivering.

Eddie had said what happened to Chrissy, how she was in this sort of trance before her body was lifted into the air and...how her bones cracked and how her eyes...how her fucking eyes were sucked back into her skull.

You thought about how it was after Chrissy told you about her problems, you instantly got them too. And you looked at everyone around you, your little brother, Robin, Max, even Eddie, and especially Steve. You didn't know how this thing spread, if this Vecna character had chosen you simply because you interacted with Chrissy, like she passed some curse onto you.

And if any of them were next it would be because you were an idiot and told them too.

The thought made you physically ill and you were leaving before anyone could stop you, ignoring Steve calling after you. You left the boat house with a hand over your mouth to try and keep the rising bile in your throat down.

When you were finally near the trees, you doubled over and threw up all over the grass. You fell to your hands and knees after you emptied out your already empty stomach, panting and spitting onto the floor to get the horrid taste of the stomach bile and acid out of your mouth.

Running out into the darkness was not a smart idea, you knew that, especially now you learned you were probably cursed, but you just needed to run. You needed to get out, you needed to just get away from them.

Then, you heard Steve calling your name. You were shaking and shouted, "I’m okay- just leave me alone right now- please-"

Your name was called again, but this time...it wasn't Steve. In fact, it wasn't any of them inside that boat house.

This voice caused a violent wave of fear to crash through you, making your body go still. Whatever had called your name was right behind you. You turned your head slowly, and saw that your surroundings were different now.

Different, but very familiar too. Blood stained the floor tiled floor and walls, torture weapons scattered among them. The stench of blood was strong, just as it was the day you remember being locked in there when you were captured in the Russian Facility.

It was the room they said they had killed Steve in.

Your hands moved to cover your nose and mouth, panic rising in you that you were somehow here again reliving the worst day of your life.

The loud chime of what sounded like a large clock echoed from behind you, causing you to yelp out a short scream and twist your body around to see the source of the sound.

Engraved in the wall, your eyes fell upon an ominous grandfather clock. It chimed, echoing in your ears and mind, and it ticked almost like a threat.

And it certainly was.Your name was called again, but this time it felt like it was all around you.

“The time to end your suffering is coming soon,” the voice told you, “Join me and I will spare your friends. If you refuse, I will take them all.”

The clock chimed again and ticked, louder than the thumping of your chest and louder than the voice itself. The lights of the torture room you were in flickered, and you caught a glimpse of…something or somebody.

It was enough to make you scream.

You were gasping suddenly. And then, you heard Steve’s voice shouting your name.

Steve’s hands were grasped tightly over your shoulders, as he was shaking you in an attempt to get you to wake up.

Your eyes shot around your surroundings, not looking at Steve at first as you took in that you were where you found yourself before. By the trees just outside of Reefer Rick’s boathouse, and in the grass you’d just vomited in.

“Hey! Hey!” Steve called to you, “Look at me, I’m right here, what happened? Are you okay? Talk to me!” You finally looked at Steve, and in an instant you remembered what that being had told you.

“If you refuse, I will take them all.”

You shook your head frantically, and said in a broken voice, “No, no I won’t let him.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at you, and tilted his head and he asked you what you were talking about. That was when you moved away from him, from all of them, even your own little brother who was knelt beside you.

Like Steve, his eyebrows were drawn together, and he said, “Wait- wait what are you talking about?”

You kept your eyes down, being sure not to look at any of them who you realized were surrounding you too. Eddie had his hands in his hair, Robin had a hand over her mouth and Max’s expression was simply unreadable. Nobody spoke for a few seconds, probably because they were waiting for you to speak.

Steve reached out to you, gently grabbing your trembling hand when you didn’t, “Hey, it’s us, okay? What happened?”

To Steve’s surprise, you pulled away from him the moment his hand touched yours and started to shake your head again, muttering a quiet I can’t underneath your breath.

His heart dropped when you had done so and he only felt more of this fearful feeling since he came out here and found you. After you had left the boat house, Steve was the first to run after you, then it was Dustin and the rest. He found you on your hands and knees, just staring forward with your eyes clear and blinking.

You were unresponsive, no matter how much he called your name, not even when all of them called your name. It was like you weren’t even there.

It was when Eddie came out and saw the state you were in, things became much more real.

“That’s exactly what happened to fucking Chrissy!” Eddie had said, his hands moving to his ears as he stared with a terrified expression, as if he expected you to start levitating like she did at any second.

It was one thing to hear about it, but another to see what Eddie was talking about in person, especially to someone you care and desperately love. It felt like someone had thrown ice cold water on Steve, and he felt completely helpless as nothing he did brought you back from wherever you were.

And now, you were awake and you were…terrified.

“I…I have to get out of here,” you suddenly said in a shaking voice as you moved to stand, “Because of me he’s going to get you- he’s going to get all of you.”

The words hit them like a freight train, but you were already walking away. Steve tried to catch you, but you were already out of his reach.

“Who? Vecna? You saw Vecna? Did he tell you that? ” Dustin was standing and following after you, “Shit! Tell us what you saw! Then maybe-”

“No!” you shouted at your brother, “No! I can’t- I-I have to go-”

Steve remained still for a moment, wondering why you would say such a thing. Because of me he’s going to get all of you.

What the hell does that mean?

✧ ✧ ✧

“Here’s what we know, my sister said because of me he’s going to get all of you,” Dustin stated as they sat in the trailer park benches, “And she said she interacted with Chrissy before that. So maybe, just maybe there’s some kind of a connection there, right? Like it’s a curse that spreads like some kind of…virus?”

Everyone was there, and so were you, but you were sitting at the playground. They were sure to always look over at you.

You hadn’t talked much since your experience last night, and it was a choice on your part. If they weren’t going to leave you alone, then you wouldn’t tell them anything, hoping that perhaps that would keep this Vecna away from them too.

“I mean…maybe?” Nancy had spoken, having joined them after the death of her co-editor Fred. He was killed the exact same way Chrissy had been, and when you heard that, you were shaking with terror because you knew you were next.

“What do you mean maybe?” Dustin asked Nancy.

“It’s just…Fred’s never had any interaction with Chrissy or your sister, he’s been at my side for at least…89% of the school year,” Nancy said then glanced over at you, “Has she said anything yet?”

All eyes moved to you and then to Steve, and his eyes dropped down.

“She’s…fucking terrified guys,” Steve said, lifting his gaze on you now. You were digging your feet into the dirt beneath you, “And I am too. She hasn’t said a word since last night.”

He was still haunted by that image of you, your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your skull and nonreactive to anything he or the others had tried. He couldn’t get even a wink of sleep last night because he couldn’t get the image out of his mind.

“Well, we should try again,” Nancy urged, then started to stand, “I’ll go talk to her-”

“No, no I’ll talk to her,” Steve said as he stood up faster than her. They all looked at him again, and he raised his hand slightly, “I got this, she’s my girlfriend, did everyone forget that or something?”

He didn’t wait for any response from them, especially Dustin, and jogged toward where you sat. You heard someone coming, something you were actually anticipating. When you looked up, you saw Steve, and as your heart always did when you saw him, it leaped, making you for a moment feel…normal and safe again.

“Hey,” Steve said, and you would’ve smiled had your heart not felt cold again after being warm for the first few seconds you saw him. He leaned on the spot next to you. You stood up and moved away from him, making him frown deeper.

You never did this, shut yourself off from him and your friends before. Even with your little brother. And it broke Steve to see you like this, broke him that you didn’t want to tell him anything even if it could help them help you.

Right now, it just seemed like you’d given up and Steve didn’t like that because you never gave up.

Steve walked after you, and captured your wrist before you could get away. Your face hardened, and tried to pull away, but Steve kept his grasp firm.

“Stop doing that,” Steve told you, “Please. We want to help, I want to help, don’t let this creep Vecna guy just…torment you and take you away so easily.”

You shook your head, “Steve, it’s too dangerous, I’m next I know it, I know it.”

Steve exhaled sharply, hating that you’ve already actively accepted your fate rather than fighting and trying to find out with the rest of them on how to stop him.

“Don’t talk like that,” he said, “We’re going to figure this out, okay? We’ve figured everything out in the past and this time is going to be no different.”

“What’s different is that I’m a target this time, and it’s already been a day since Chrissy, and now Fred- I’m next and then it’ll be one of you and it’ll be because of me.”

“You don’t know that!” Steve said, his voice getting a little harder, “We don’t even know why or how this wizard guy targets his victims-”

“I was around Chrissy, Steve! She told me about her nightmares and her- her headaches, and now she’s dead and now someone else is dead and-”

“Hey!” Steve was pulling you toward him now, making you face him completely, “This isn’t helping anybody, especially yourself. You know more than us, probably something that we are missing. You have to trust us, trust me- because I am not going to let some…creepy weird dark wizard fucker take the girl that I love away from me.”

You stared at Steve in silence, his words striking you right in the chest.

“And they won’t either,” he gestured back to them, “No fucking way. No fucking way.”

Steve was mad, not at you, but at Vecna, and you felt almost a wave of calm coming over you for the first time since that nosebleed of yours. You’d forgotten in your mute state that they were your friends, that they cared about you, Steve cared about you. They only wanted to help. You were going to speak, going to tell Steve that you were sorry, that you would help…

But then, a cold air hit you, and the sky above you was covered in gray clouds, submerging you in a gloomy, stormy kind of atmosphere. You didn’t understand at first, eyes flickering upward until you suddenly heard the familiar chime of the clock.

Your heart dropped, and you looked back at Steve. Except it wasn’t Steve anymore, but this…monster.

You shrieked at the sight of this thing, this unimaginable horror that looked like it was covered with burnmarks and the vines of the Upside Down you remembered seeing in the underground tunnels you helped the kids set fire to.

“You’re going to get them killed,” the monster of your waking nightmares told you, “They’re going to die because of you.”

You stumbled backward and away from him, dry heaves coming out of your lips as you tried to form any kind of words. Instead, you placed your hand over your ears and closed your eyes again, a new habit of yours you didn’t know you had in the face of true terror.

He was chuckling, clearly entertained by the torment he was causing you.

As fast as it came, it had passed and the world around you was bright and warm again, Vecna’s laughter fading away from you, and your face was being held by Steve’s hands. He was panting, eyes flickering all over your features.

He looked distraught, his lips lightly quivering as he had to watch you go into yet another trance. The others were already running toward you, calling your name as well and asking what happened.

“What is he doing to you? Please tell me, so I can help you-” Steve practically begged you, but you were pulling away from him then and started to run. You didn’t know where you were running, or how far you’d get before them catching you, but it was all you could think of to do again. Just run, you thought, run as far away from them as possible. You run away and you keep them safe. You keep Dustin safe, you keep Steve safe, you keep them all safe.

They were all calling after you, their voices desperate and scared.

You thought you could still hear the chimes and the ticking, echoing all around you as you ran as fast as you could.

�� ✧ ✧

Steve was trying to hold himself together, but the truth was he didn’t know what the hell to do. None of you really did. They of course had caught up to you after you ran, finding you sitting at the edge of the road.

When they found you, you had said it would be any moment now, any second, and that if they didn’t want to see what happened to Chrissy and Fred happen to you, they should leave now.

None of them did, and after many attempts, they finally got you to get into the car.

You were under a strict watch now, whether you had liked it or not. Both Steve and Dustin had to be firm with you.

You were lucky to have a genius for a little brother, sure he got on both yours and Steve’s nerves on occasion, but his mind was working quickly, and he was somehow able to keep moving forward in finding out more about Vecna and a possible cure for this curse of his.

He was doing more than Steve, and he felt useless because you were the love of his life and felt that he should be able to do more than just helplessly watch you suffer.

It was nighttime, and Steve had taken both you and Dustin to his place for the night. His parents were gone, per usual, and Dustin was sure to keep his radio on in case they needed the others for an emergency.

Neither of them wanted to say what this code red could be, deciding to keep that to themselves.

Steve didn’t want to think about what this emergency could be. They were in his bedroom, you were in the bathroom, unlocked of course and being timed, and Dustin was going over the new information they had learned.

“Think about it, they all went through the same thing, right? Nosebleeds, headaches, nightmares, everything, and everyone has had these…problems,” Dustin re-explained everything they had discovered together when they broke into Ms. Kelley’s office to Steve as he paced back and forth, eyes moving to the bathroom door every once in a while, “Chrissy, Fred…and…”

Steve said your name, and Dustin nodded.

“Yeah…there’s got to be something she’s not telling us, before all of this, maybe if she just told someone, anyone then we could at least weaken the curse, and then if this works than we can help Max too,” Dustin theorized as he made his way to the other side of the room again, and was sure to say her name a little quieter so you wouldn’t hear.

They had opted to not tell you about Max’s vision because you seemed dead bent on it being your fault somehow, and the last thing you needed was more on your conscience.

“So, is there anything she’s been weird about?” Dustin asked Steve now. He looked away in thought for a moment, but nothing fast was coming to mind.

“I…I don’t know,” Steve admitted, and Dustin scowled at him.

“Jesus Christ Steve, she’s your girlfriend,” Dustin sneered, Steve’s face scrunched up and he replied, “You’re her brother. And how am I supposed to know something that she didn’t tell me? I can’t read minds, man. That’s…Vecma’s job apparently.”

“Vecna,” Dustin corrected and Steve rolled his eyes because he’d been doing it all day, “I think it’s worth a try. I don’t think we have a lot of time here…” he closed his mouth, not wanting to think about how his sister could have the same fate as Chrissy and Fred.

Steve sympathized with him greatly, because if he was scared then so was Dustin. He was just ironically very collected about it, nevermind the pacing of the room or how he was speaking all in one breath.

“Okay, so…we talk to her then,” Steve repeated and Dustin nodded.

“If we can get her to, which is why I’m asking you to get her to talk,” Dustin pointed at Steve after stopping in the middle of the room, “You said she almost talked to you right? Before she went under his spell.”

Steve nodded, “Yeah, there was something different in her eyes, and she was about to speak, but then…she was just gone.”

Dustin snapped his fingers, “I think that proves my theory then! She was going to talk to you, open up to you, probably, and Vecna can’t have that…he can’t have her running back to us or letting us help her or else his spell gets weaker!”

Steve crossed one arm and rested the other under his chin as he thought. It sounded incredibly plausible, and he met Dustin’s gaze once again, “I…I think it’s definitely worth a shot.”

The door to the bathroom had opened then, and you emerged in one of Steve’s long sleeves, looking at both of them with suspicious eyes, especially when they both went quiet.

“Okay well, Steve is going to be on the first watch, I’m going to go downstairs and find some food,” Dustin stated quickly to you. You didn’t say anything, and Dustin gave you and Steve a thumbs up before leaving.

It was all up to Steve now, and he wasn’t going to let you keep quiet until Vecna got you. It wasn’t going to happen.

✧ ✧ ✧

You were sitting on his bed, your back resting against the bedrest when Steve finally sat down in front of you. You didn’t look at him when he did, keeping your eyes to the wall opposite of you. It looked like you were probably admiring his trophies, but Steve knew better. You were a million miles away, but not in Vecna’s spell at least.

He didn’t know how to start it, how to even ask you, but he knew he had to. Something had happened, and he needed to make you tell him.

“Did something happen…before all this that you never told me about?” Steve was asking you, you still didn’t look at him. Steve reached over and grabbed your hand gently, “I was talking to Dustin, and he thinks that it’s possible that Vecna targets those with some kind of…trauma, I guess?”

You shifted only slightly, and Steve rubbed his thumb on your knuckles, “Don’t tell him this because it’ll just rub his already big ego,” he rolled his eyes jokingly, for his new attempt to get you to talk was to be humorous, it always worked on you, but you didn’t smile or react at all, “…but he’s usually right about most things.”

Steve honestly didn’t doubt it. The girl you became since you were first cursed was somebody completely different, somebody who was broken and afraid, so whatever this Vecna was using to manipulate and change you into this person must’ve been pretty horrific.

But you wouldn’t talk to him, and he now knew Vecna wasn’t letting you because of what happened in the trailer park. Like he relayed to Dustin, you were going to talk to him, going to tell him at least something, and immediately you were put into that trance.

It pissed him off because he was keeping you away from him, and everyone else. He was isolating you, and it was working. You refused to speak, hell you even physically ran away.

“Whatever he is telling you, it isn’t true,” Steve had tried to say these words as firmly as he could, but his voice had cracked instantly when he continued, “There’s a reason this sadistic asshole is convincing you to run away from us, to keep quiet- and I’m sick of it. Talk to me, please, tell me what it is, just please try.”

Tears slipped from his eyes then, ones that he didn’t notice at first.

You finally looked at him again, realizing then that Steve was crying. He hardly ever cried, but when he did, it always made you instantly upset too. The last time you’d seen him shed such tears like this was when he learned he didn’t get into any colleges and his dad practically called him stupid and almost disowned him.

Knowing that it was you Steve was crying over, that it was you causing such emotions made you feel shameful. You reached out suddenly, resting your hand over his. Steve was right, you knew he was, and it was time to stop letting Vecna scare you. You had to say something.

“It…it happened when we were taken by the Russian guards under Starcourt,” you suddenly said, making Steve’s eyes lift up at you. They were wet with tears, “Remember how you were marked up but me and Robin weren’t?”

He nodded once at you, and sucked in a shaky breath before saying, “It was because they were using you against us, specifically me. If I didn’t speak, they’d beat you more, torture you…and I…I didn’t say anything even though I wanted to so bad just to stop hearing them hurt you.”

Your own eyes were welling up with tears now too at the horrid memory, “I wasn’t going to give away Dustin or Erica, or anyone, and they knew that, so they had taken it a step forward and-”

Your voice was quivering again, but you knew you had to tell him.

“They made it seem like they killed you,” you eyes flashed with the memory of the room they forced you into, claiming it was the room Steve had been kept in, the room that Vecna forced you to step into again in your first vision, “I don’t know whose blood it was, it probably wasn’t even human, but I…I thought you were dead because of me.”

Tears slipped from your eyes as you finally told him what he wanted to know, “I know they lied, but in the hour they left me in there, it wasn’t a lie. It was real, and I-”

Steve was pulling you into his arms before you knew it.

You started to cry too, letting apologies slip from your lips for not telling him and letting Vecna use it against you. You felt weak and pitiful, and he knew how to make that feeling worse until you were too scared to be around everyone.

“I’m okay,” he reassured you, “And I’m going to be okay, nobody can take me away from you so easily- I would fight till the ends of the earth to get back to you…I love you way too much.”

You were nodding, understanding that now because the past week Vecna had taken that understanding from you. You sniffled and told him that you loved him too.

You and Steve stayed in each other’s arms for a while until he moved away from you and said, “Can I give you something?”

You looked up at him, blinking away a few years and asked, “What…what is it?”

“It’s an early anniversary gift,” Steve said as he dug through his drawer. You found yourself smiling at the idea of him hiding it, especially when it was about 2 months before your actual anniversary of being together for two years, “I think…I don’t know maybe it will help…show you how much I love you…”

“Steve, I don’t go into your drawers, you didn’t have to hide it like that,” you said, but still peaked over as far as you could to see what it was as you wiped away your tears. Honestly, you thought maybe it was some piece of jewelry because a sock drawer is usually where those are hidden.

“It’s exactly why I put it here,” he said following a sniffle before he snapped his fingers and said, “Here it is!” He held up a mixtape, and you tilted your head curiously at it.

“You made a mixtape?” you asked, a smile growing on your lips once again. Steve nodded, then cringed.

“Honestly, Dustin had to help out…you can imagine how that went,” he said as he shook his head at the memory.

“Oh god, the story of my life. You ask him one simple question and he does everything but call you stupid to your face. Sometimes he does.”

“Oh my god, yeah, your brother’s a good kid, but wow,” Steve agreed. This time, you laughed, and at the sound of your laughter Steve’s features grew soft and warm. Your laugh was definitely something you both needed to hear, “Want to listen?”

“Yes,” you said, “Put it on!”

Steve practically pranced to his stereo as he said, “They’re all your favorite songs, some songs that make me think about you, and some I think you’ll just like.” You hugged your knees to your chest, smiling warmly at Steve.

At the moment, it felt like Vecna was far behind you and after having talked to Steve and shed tears with him, it felt like this massive weight had come off your shoulders. It was possible that talking was the key to ridding yourself of his curse, or at least making Vecna’s hold on you and his other victims weaker like Dustin thought.

For the first time in a long time, you felt calm, you felt more alive. And it was very obvious, especially to Steve.

It was why you both had let your guard down, even if just for tonight. He inserted the tape, and adjusted the volume.

Music began to blast through the speakers, and Steve nodded with content. He had listened to it over and over again, knowing the exact order each song was in. He stood up straight now, and turned to look at you.

You were staring right at him, your lips in that wide smile despite the tears that stained both of your faces. He was going to walk over to you, but you were already moving to stand. You walked over to him, and wrapped your arms around him in a warm and tender embrace.

Steve pulled you toward him tightly, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“We’re going to figure this out.”

He seemed to be saying this more and more often, but after talking to him and seeing how life seemed to return to you, he was sure he was right now and that you had a chance of surviving Vecna. If they can save you, then they can also save Max and find Vecna and destroy him like they’ve defeated so many things in the past.

“I love you,” he said again breathlessly, “And I won’t let anything happen to you.”

It was everything he needed you to hear and more, but…you were gone before he even uttered those words to you.

The music that played had suddenly begun to cut out, going in and out of silence in short cracks of electricity. Steve turned from you to look at it, eyes narrowing curiously for his stereo hardly did that.

Then, the lights began to flicker as well. He looked up at the flickering light, eyes squinting as it disoriented him for a second.

Realization dawned on him a few seconds too late, and he noticed you were no longer hugging him and instead had gone rigid in his arms. His eyes snapped back to you, and he let out a panicked breath as he saw your expression for the third time in only a day. His heart sank.

His hands moved to your shoulders, shouting your name even though he knew it was futile. You were in Vecna’s trance again, talking didn’t work.

“Steve! Steve, where did you go!”

Your words were echoing in your own ears. You were in the room alone now, Steve nowhere in sight. You ran toward the door, grasping the doorknob and trying to pull it open. It wouldn’t budge, as if someone was holding it on the other side, keeping you from leaving the room.

“Steve!” you shouted again, now grasping the doorknob with both hands and beginning to shake and pull at it. Panic rose in your chest and bubbled up your throat the longer it didn’t budge, “Help! Steve! Help!”

You were shouting at the top of your lungs, now letting go of it and banging aggressively on the wooden door, and throwing your body against it in an attempt to break it down.

Back in reality, Steve was desperately shaking you, the tears he had shed coming back full force. Dustin was bursting through the door a few seconds later.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit-” Dustin was saying over and over again when he saw your rigid body in Steve’s arms, “It didn’t work?! It didn’t fucking work!? Steve!?”

Steve was shaking his head, “I thought- fuck! She was better, she was-” His voice cracked from the tight knot in his throat. Dustin put his hands on his head, entering a full panic as he thought about anything else, literally anything else to save his older sister.

“Help! Please! Somebody!” you slammed your body against the door one again, and this time it had opened. You fell through it, and fell to the cold, tiled ground. There was also something wet staining your hands and your knees. You couldn’t see though in the darkness, but you could smell.

It was a strong metallic, coppery smell…a scent you could never forget.

“No…” you stated as you realized what was happening and made yourself stand. Vecna had put you in that god forsaken room again.

The clock chimed, sending you into nothing but defeat and dread once you heard it. Like Dustin and Steve had thought…it didn’t work. You were here still, you were still in Vecna’s grasp. Fresh tears spilled from your eyes, and mewls slipped past your lips.

“Did you think it would be that easy?” Vecna’s deep tremble of his voice shook through you, “I wouldn’t let you escape so easily, not when your time was so near.”

The lights flickered on joining with a dramatic buzzing noise, and your worst fears were proven and more. Your hands were covered in blood that was not yours and when you looked down and past your hands, you saw something that wasn’t in the room before.

It was Steve. His head was turned to the side and his eyes were open and unblinking. You couldn’t even scream, only releasing panicked, dry breaths as you were sent into a full blown panic attack. Your bloody hands shook, and your skin suddenly became below freezing.

You reached out to touch Steve, beginning to shake your head. It wasn’t possible, this never happened. You escaped Starcourt with him, with Robin, Dustin, and Erica. This never happened. Steve was alive, dammit, he was alive.

“This-this isn’t real! This didn’t happen!” You shouted into the lights above you, “This isn’t real-”

“Oh, but it will happen.”

“What do you want!” you screamed at him into the darkness, angry and afraid. The lights flickered again, and you now found yourself in a long hallway, similar to the one you and the Scoops Troop had to walk down in the Russian Facility. Blood still stained the walls, and Steve’s body was gone. In the distance the lights were flickering off as Vecna was stalking toward you with darkness following behind him. The claws of his left hand twitching and moving with every step.

“I want you to join me.”

You shot up and stepped backwards until your back pressed against a hard wall as you let out quiet whimpers.

“What do we do!” Steve called to Dustin, his hands now touching your face.

“I’m thinking!” Dustin shouted back, trying not to cry himself. His eyes moved around the room frantically until his eyes fell upon the stereo that was still cutting in and out of music. His eyes widened as he got an idea, “Will! Will! Do you remember when he was possessed by the Mind Flayer and they- shit nevermind- do you have a battery operated stereo or something?”

Steve yelled at him that it was in his closet. Dustin ran over to it while he yelled, “We have to talk to her, maybe it can get her out- that’s how they communicated with Will and playing that song he likes-”

Dustin was in Steve’s closet now, eyes searching for the boombox. Steve heard Dustin and remembered exactly what he was talking about. His eyes flashed to his stereo, knowing that they’d need the mixtape that was still in it.

“The tape we made Dustin, the tape! It’s in there!” Steve said, looking back at you, “Track 3, track 3 !”

Dustin had found it on one the top shelves, tossing boxes of shoes out of the way and grabbing it. He shouted at Steve that he needed to start talking to you, that he needed to tell you fond memories or something like that because it just might get through to you.

And Steve did, his voice breathless and panicked as he started to tell you about the first time he saw you at Hawkins High. He didn’t know how he never noticed you before because he knew all of the cheerleaders of Hawkins pretty well, but you- you were new. He told you about how he asked everyone about you, learning your name, anything that could get him closer to you.

Seemingly unstoppable tears flowed from your eyes as Vecna got closer and closer to you. You pressed yourself further into the wall, and wanted to turn your head but found that you couldn’t.

“Don’t cry for them,” Vecna told you, now only a few feet from reaching you, “They will be joining you and the others very soon, starting with the boy you love.”

You were trembling in your spot, Vecna now standing before you. You were trying to speak, but no words were coming out, especially when he lifted his left hand up, those sharp, long claws bigger than your own face.

You stared up at Vecna, and whimpered slowly when he began to move his hand closer to you, “It is time.”

It was like he was grasping your mind, an intense wave of pain and fear washing over you like the waves of the ocean during a storm. You couldn’t move. There was no escape, this time Vecna wasn’t going to let you go. It was time for you to join him.

“Dustin! Hurry up-” Steve's words were cut off when he felt you move in arms. His eyes flashed back toward you, and he watched as your body began to levitate into the air.

“SHIT,” Dustin shouted as he finally inserted the mixtape into the boombox and began to move it to track 3 like Steve said. The song that began to play made Dustin pause momentarily, and even he knew how much you liked this song.

‘I’ve got a dream about an angel on the beach…and the perfect waves are starting to come…

…his hair is flying out in ribbons of gold and his touch has got the power to stun…’

The tips of Vecna’s claws were almost touching your face, but he had suddenly stopped when the lyrics of the song echoed behind him.

The grip Vecna had on your mind faltered as you recognized the Fire Inc. song Ellen Aim performs at the end of Streets of Fire. Your eyes moved past Vecna toward the source of the song, and fell onto what looked like a tear in this world Vecna had created in your head.

You saw yourself in Steve’s room, your body levitating into the air, and Steve and Dustin. Steve was saying something to you. Your eyes narrowed slightly, trying to listen to what he was saying over the music.

‘But I don’t see any Angels in the city, I don’t hear any holy choirs sing… And if I can't get an Angel. I can still get a boy. And the boy will be the next best thing, the next best thing to an Angel.’

Steve’s voice began to break through as well. It was faint, but you could still hear and understand what he was saying. He was talking to you about your first date, and how you went to the drive-in to watch a whole other movie, but ended up watching this one. You didn’t even remember what the first movie was.

Memories flooded through you, flashing through your mind quickly. You saw Steve on this first date, felt his hand take yours, and felt his lips meet yours for the first time. You never kissed on the first date, and he was the first and only exception.

You saw Steve’s flushed face when he had climbed out of the pool following a swim race, and his eyes had lit up when he saw you there in your cheer uniform and pom poms cheering his name. You were the only cheerleader there. He had laughed and winked at you while you had blown a kiss.

“They can’t help you,” Vecna told you, making your eyes shift back to him, “You belong here, with me, with Chrissy…”

His hands began to inch closer, the tips of his claws barely touching your skin.

Steve helplessly watched as your body slammed flat against the ceiling, and his first move was to grab Dustin and pull him against him, making him face away from the sight. Because of what Eddie had said about what happened to Chrissy, they knew what was going to happen next.

“Her bones- they just snapped, and her eyes…it was like something was inside and-” Eddie had said in that boathouse the day before when you got your first vision.

He didn’t want Dustin to see that, especially not when it was his older sister. If he couldn’t protect you, he could at least shield Dustin and protect him.

‘I’ve got a dream when the darkness is over….We’ll be lying in the rays of the sun.’

Ellen aim’s lyrics got to you again and you heard Dustin’s sobbing, your eyes moved past Vecna’s again to see your little brother in Steve’s arms, Steve shielding him from your body that was now pressed against the ceiling.

More memories flashed in your mind. You saw the kids throwing popcorn at you and Steve at the movie theater during a matinee reshowing of Jaws, and heard Dustin say, “Are you seriously sucking face when someone is getting killed by a shark?”

You could hear their giggling from behind you, and a couple of gags that made you throw the popcorn back at them, but missing.

‘But it’s only a dream and tonight is for real, you’ll never know what it means, but you'll know how it feels.’

You saw Robin forcing you to watch movies you never thought of watching before, you saw her laughing, and saw both her and Stevea arguing in their ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniforms.

You saw Steve running toward you after Starcourt, his face bruised up, yet he was still smiling and kissing you, happy that you were okay and you were alive.

‘It’s gonna be over before you know it’s begun, it’s all we really got tonight…’

“N-No,” you said to Vecna suddenly, he stopped before he could sink his claws into the skin of your face, “No!” You found the strength to reach up with both hands and grasp the wet, sticky vines that collected around his collarbone and neck. You grasped and pulled, the tendrils squishing between your nails and fingers before you screamed and pulled it off with incredible strength.

Vecna released you with a groan of pain, and you ducked underneath him, and raced toward them. You were a long way from running away from them at the trailer park, now running as fast as you could toward the end of this hall, back to your reality, back to your life, back to Dustin and back to Steve.

You didn’t look back, Ellen Aim’s singing and Steve and Dustin’s calls to you blasting your ears, drowning out Vecna calling your name.

‘Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come’

Ellen Aim sang as you inched closer and closer to your world.

‘No matter what it seems tonight is what it means to be young…’

Your feet echoed with every step you took, your heart beating out of your chest as you ran and you ran and you ran, toward the music, toward your home.

“We have to help her, Steve, we can’t let him take her,” Dustin was crying, his words muffled against Steve’s shirt. Steve was shaking, and didn’t know what to say, and even if he did he couldn’t speak anyways.

He was too distraught, shedding more tears than he’s ever shed before. He was going to lose you, he failed you, Vecna got to you before any of them could figure out how to stop him. He held Dustin against him tighter, and shut his eyes.

“Just don’t look, Dustin, don’t look,” Steve even tried to cover his ears with his arms, hellbent on making sure Dustin doesn’t see or hear anything, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry we couldn’t save you…”

He clenched his teeth, the thought of Vecna being responsible sending a rage throughout him. His eyes were forced open, and profanities were falling from his lips all targeted toward Vecna. He didn’t know if he could hear him, but he wanted him to know that they were going to fuck him up for what he’s done, for who he’s done it to.

That was when you came back.

Your eyes were suddenly back to normal, and Steve caught it the exact moment because a loud gasp for air escaped from you. Steve moved Dustin aside, practically throwing him on his bed, and stepping under you just as you became unstuck from the ceiling and fell.

Steve fell on the floor with you right on top of him, hyperventilating and gasping for air as you felt like you ran miles and miles to get back here. Your eyes frantically looked around you, becoming hyper aware of everything around you, but knowing that you were back here, you escaped.

It didn’t seem real at first, Steve’s soft calling of your name that wasn’t echoing and rather in real time.

Your fists closed around Steve’s shirt as you met his gaze, they were puffy and red and full of the greatest relief in the world. You pressed your forehead against his, and whispered to him that you were okay.

“I heard you, I heard you both and the song,” you said between your fast breaths, your voice trembling and still cracking, “I saw-” Your words were becoming less coherent as you broke down in Steve’s arms.

Steve sat you up then, keeping you in his lap and holding you against him.

“It’s okay, you’re back, you don’t have to talk, not right now,” he told you quietly, his own voice matching yours.

Dustin had watched in disbelief that you were okay, thinking that maybe it wasn’t even real, but when he heard you speak and Steve respond, he was off of the bed and on the floor next to you Steve. Tears of relief spilled from his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around you as well.

Steve would ask you how you exactly got out, about what you had seen, about everything, but right now, he was beyond relieved that you were back, that you didn’t end up like Chrissy or Fred, that you finally fought back.

#this is a long one #over 9k words!#please enjoy <3 #it took me a while to write but I'm actually quite happy with it #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things 4 #stranger things 4 spoilers #lys writes again #Spotify #requests #fic request

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years ago

Text

last friday night // carlos sainz jr

summary: after her best friend's bachelorette party, she wakes up in bed with a stranger and no memory of what she did the night before. carlos can't remember either, but he knows he wants to spend as much time with y/n as he can, so he offers to help her figure out what happened.

pairing: carlos sainz jr. x female! reader

warnings: heavy drinking, one night stand, terrible drunken bad decisions, implied smut but it's not written out. sexual innuendos, memory loss due to said heavy drinking. skinny dipping, spanish pet names. some cheating bastard named jake and his cousin brad get their car egged. semi-drunk driving ( don't do that, guys. it's unsafe )

mallorca, spain.

saturday morning. 8:54 AM.

something felt wrong, and it wasn't the pounding behind her eyes or the expensive sheets on her sweat-soaked skin. it wasn't the spanish sun streaming in from the blinds.

no, what was wrong was the arm over her body. the muscled, strong, tanned- stop. backtrack. scream.

she sucked in a breath, slowly sitting up. her thighs ached, the familiar after sting of a night of relentless sex. and when she realized she wasn’t wearing any clothes, she couldn’t stop the scream that tore through her heart.

she leaped out of bed, stumbling across the marble floor as the scrambled to wrap the duvet around herself. her memory was a black hole, the previous night a blur.

the man in the bed groaned, his hand patting down the mattress as he looked for his companion. mortified, y/n paced the floor, searching for her clothes from the night before. her entire body recoiled at the idea of putting on the previous night's panties, but she wasn't exactly about to go without any whatsoever.

she moved quickly and quietly, searching for her romper, which she finally found thrown over the back of a fainting couch. she held it up with disgust, looking at the frayed threads where one strap was beginning to sperate from the rest, and at the wrinkles in the sunshine yellow fabric, the stains that she simply prayed were food-related and easy to clean.

she wished she could remember what had happened.

"corazon?"

she cursed herself for how far she jumped when he spoke, his spanish accent thick and seductive. and when he sat up in the queen sized bed, she couldn't help but think that, even as drunk as she was, she had picked well. his messy hair was voluminous and fluffy, borderline pornographic, and she had to hold back a moan as she took in the sight of his toned, muscled chest.

"i'm sorry, can you tell me what the hell we did last night?" her voice was shaky, and she wasn't sure if it was from anger, uncertainty, fear, or something else, something hornier, as she tried not to think about how that god of a man had touched her in so many intimate ways and she couldn't even remember his name.

"i'm assuming we had incredible sex, if the marks on your neck are any indication, but beyond that i can't remember a damn thing." he groaned, falling back against the pillows. "and what a damn shame that is, carino."

"fuck." she groaned, tilting her head back. "i'm y/n, in case you don't remember. and you are?"

"carlos." the spaniard cocked his head in the direction of the fainting couch. "if you could toss me those sweatpants, i'll run downstairs and get us both some advil. how does that sound?"

"like the best idea you've had all morning."

friday night, 7:55 PM.

the sun was sinking against the horizon line, palm trees silhouetted against a cotton candy sky as the orange sun reflected across the water.

y/n stood in front of the barbecue, stoking the fire and tending to the meal as she swayed her hips to the rhythm, joining her fellow bridesmaids in the chorusing of a throwback katy perry hit.

at the center of it all was holly, one of her long-time university friends. a bright pink silk sash across her body proclaimed her as the bride to be, and she wasn't letting anybody forget it, gleefully slipping a mention of her fiancee, carlos onoro, or 'caco', as he had first introduced himself to her.

"y/n, i'm sure the barbecue won't spontaneously combust if you take a quick break to take a picture with us." holly encouraged, hoping that the quieter girl would join her for the bridal party photo.

the hen week in mallorca had been jennifer, the maid of honor's idea.

rolling her eyes, y/n closed the lid on the barbecue and grabbed a can of white claw, joining her fellow bridesmaids behind the glass patio table for a picture.

the party that night was intended to end the trip, a friday party before they flew back home the following tuesday to return to their normal lives. little did they all know, jennifer had one more trick up her sleeve.

a trick that would turn the whole night on it's head.

"everybody shout 'same penis forever'!" jennifer cried, holding her phone out in front of them for a selfie.

the girls repeated the joke, their grins and giggles captured on the camera as they dissolved into drunken laughter.

"now, holly, i have one last surprise for you." jennifer said, pulling a chair out from the patio table for the bride-to-be to take a seat. "i know this week has very much been girl time, but i also know that you've been missing a certain special someone."

at this point, y/n had gone back to her beloved barbecue, tending to what was supposed to be their dinner. she knew what jennifer was planning, her little scheme being an open secret with the group of bridesmaids.

jennifer stood behind holly, gesturing to someone who was hiding in the background.

"carlos!" holly shouted in delight as carlos onoro made his presence known, appearing underneath the pergola where the ladies were gathered. "what are you doing here?"

"coincidentally, my own bachelor party was also in mallorca, because my dear cousin is so uncreative." caco rolled his eyes, looking at a man with olive complexion and a man of dark, fluffy hair.

"the cousin is quite the looker." sophia, another one of the bridesmaids, said lowly with a grin, nudging y/n in the side. "if i wasn't already spoken for, i'd be going after the cousin."

as holly and caco spoke in low tones with each other, laughing at their inside jokes and kissing each other gently, y/n found her eyes wandering to the cousin. she bit her lip to stop herself from running her tongue across her bottom lip in a suggestive manner.

"care to introduce the guest?" sophia said with a grin, nudging y/n, who she knew was too shy to ask by herself.

"this is my cousin, carlos sainz jr." caco said with a grin, clapping his cousin on the shoulder. "not only does he wear the carlos name better, he is also a bit of a big deal. he's a formula one driver for ferrari!"

carlos.

well, hello carlos.

saturday morning. 9:25 AM.

dressed and with food in their stomachs, y/n and carlos set out across the beach and back to the villa that had been rented for the bachelorette party.

the pergola was a mess of empty white claw cans and broken wine glasses, one of the chairs completely overturned. y/n's beloved barbecue hadn't been cleaned properly, and the burnt remains of what the group had tried to eat was seared onto the grill.

"what the fuck happened last night?" she said slowly, picking her way over the sand in her flip flops. she had been unable to find her shoes in carlos' villa, but he promised that he's have one of other carlos' groomsmen look for them.

when it looked like carlos might actually answer her rhetorical question, she glared at him with a look that shut the spaniard down instantly. she kept moving, bounding nervously up the stairs of the villa, somewhat scared about what she might find inside.

she eased the back door open, a part of her relieved to find each member of the bachelorette party passed out in the living room in varying hungover states, save for the bride and other carlos, who were nowhere to be found.

y/n sighed in relief before shaking the sleeping bodies of her mates, hitting their backs with pillows and trying to get them all to wake up while carlos stood in the doorway and laughed at the spectacle. he never asked where his cousin was, because he assumed he had a pretty good idea of where caco was, that being in bed with his bride to be.

"ladies, up and at 'em, lets go!" clapping her hands together as the bridesmaids groggily wake up

"can someone close the blinds?" jennifer whines, pulling a throw pillow off the couch and pressing it over her face. "its too fucking bright."

"we're in mallorca, jennifer. get used to it. come on, we have cleaning to do and hangovers to beat."

sophia sat up groggily, her blonde hair a rats nest on top of her head. she yawns, patting down the blaket hasitly thrown over her body to try and find her phone. and once she does, the sound of pure disgust is enough to get the rest of the bridesmaids to flock to her side.

"what happened, soph?" jennifer was suddenly wide awake, and even carlos could be enticed away from the doorframe

"we did something really fucking stupid last night." the blonde groaned, pulling up her instagram story. "so do you remember jennifer's ex-boyfriend?"

"what, jake the cheating asshole?" jennifer yawned. "what does he have to do with anything?"

"just watch the damn video, jen."

the video played for less than thirty seconds, and with each second, the regret and guilt began to seep in, coupled with the complete shock at the fact that they even did what was caught on film in the first place.

"holy shitballs."

"very eloquent, thank you jennifer." y/n huffs sarcastically. "if anybody needs me, bother carlos. i'm going to get dressed. and then we're going to sort out exactly what we did last night."

friday night. 8:35 PM.

"that cheating bastard!"

jennifer's shout is enough to get the bridal party's attention over the drinks being poured, and the songs blaring from the wireless speaker. y/n and sophia had never left the barbecue, with the blonde attempting to encourage her shyer friend to talk to the spaniard who was sharing a beer with his cousin.

"fucking jake is in mallorca!" the maid of honor groaned, turning her phone to face the group.

"i thought you blocked his sorry ass three months ago. we talked about this, jen. you need to release the toxicity from your life." agatha, another bridesmaid sighed.

"its not jake's instagram, its his hot cousin, brad. he's here in mallorca with that fucking ginger spice wannabe."

sophia glanced at the screen, biting the end off a twizzler. "in all fairness, the name of his hotel is geotagged."

"and what's that supposed to mean? we get it, bitchy spice's parents are rich and probably paid for the entire thing. brad isn't smart, he probably wanted to boast about the luxury that his cousin's girlfriend was paying for."

"flick one slide over, i think that's his license plate number." sophia grinned. "anybody got a palette of eggs and some bog roll?"

"oh, you're evil." holly throws her head back with a laugh. "right, caco, since you haven't had anything to drink, would you love to be a darling and drive us uptown so we can egg jake and brad's car?"

caco sighed. "i'm going to regret this, aren't i?"

"totally." sophia agreed with a smile. "but we'll all wake up tomorrow with hangovers and plausible deniability."

half an hour later, armed with cartons of egg and rolls of toilet paper, the drinks and barbecue long forgotten and fall out boy on the radio, the group were pulling up outside the hilton.

"fuck you, you cheating bastard!" jennifer shouts with her head out the window as she lobs an egg at the rental car that was badly parked outside the front lot. "you gave shitty head anyways!"

they all climbed out of the car, not even waiting for caco to park.

"i had to put up with her drunk sobbing ass at three in the morning, dickbag!" holly shouted, throwing another egg, the yolk splashing all over the back windscreen.

sophia stands off to the side, laughing as she films the carnage.

"can i throw one?" carlos asks quietly, reaching for the box of eggs that y/n was holding.

"knock yourself out. i don't even know jennifer, i'm just here to watch them make fools of themselves."

"fair enough, carino." carlos laughs, the entire sentence turning her insides to mush. "want to throw one with me? whatever jake did, he probably deserves it."

she knew it was a shitty idea, especially since sophia was filming it. if word ever got back not only to her family, but to her employer, she was done for.

but there was something about carlos sainz jr that made her want to make terrible choices.

"okay. yeah, let's egg this sucker."

saturday morning. 9:35 AM

"so did you fuck mr. ferrari?"

"sophia, get out!"

the blonde laughed. after revealing the activities of the night before, sophia had enough of watching the other bridesmaids going through the stages of denial and decided to busy herself with something better: grilling y/n about what she had gotten up to the night before, since she was the one person who hadn't ended up taking extra tequila shots to cobra starship and passing out on the villa floor.

"i'm just asking. come on, he looks like a spanish porn star. you can't tell me that you went home with that and didn't smash."

y/n shook her head, pulling on a fresh t-shirt that didn't smell like barbecue smoke and alcohol. "yeah, i fucked him. and it's a damn shame i only remember bits and pieces."

"do you remember how many orgasms he gave you?" sophia pressed, hoping for more information. "or what he sounds like when he comes? i bet he speaks spanish in between your legs."

"sophia!" y/n was blushing bright red now. "you know as well as i do that i have no memory of last night. we were hammered!"

"do you remember anything?" the willowy blonde asked, sitting at the foot of y/n's bed. "now that i've seen the egging video, i remember going to the bar afterwards. i think mr. ferrari picked up the tab. yeah, they were playing some latin club music thing on the speakers and you and carlos were snogging in the corner."

and suddenly it was like lightbulbs went off in y/n's head. "that's right, i think i remember it now."

actually, what she remembered was dancing with carlos, his hands toying with the hem of her romper, his crotch against her ass. his breath hot against her neck as she whispered dirty things to her in spanish. the soft moan she let out as he gripped her thighs.

"do you remember what happened after the drinks?" as much as y/n wanted to know what they got up to the night before, desperate to fill the gaps in her memory, a selfish and decently horny part of her psyche wanted to know what she had done with carlos.

it seemed like such a waste to have a one night stand with a man like him and not remember any of it.

"no idea. i found a crumpled receipt for the rounds of tequila and the parking pass for the hilton in my pocket." sophia stood up, patting down her white dress pants again. "maybe there's something else? ooh, what's this?" the bridesmaid extracted a crumpled sheet of paper from her pocket.

"a parking ticket? for a public park? what the fuck?"

friday night. 10:01 PM.

"okay, that's last call!" the bartender shouted in spanish, the music overhead going quiet. "we're a respectable establishment, not a night club."

"boo!" jennifer shouts, pulling away from the random stranger she had decided to dance with. "you're such a buzzkill!"

"and you're drunk, jennifer." caco rolled his eyes. even the groom to be was drunker than he had been when the party left the villa. "i think you're all drunk, actually."

"but this is the bachelorette party!" holly whines. "at least there weren't any strippers, but we can't let the night end this early!"

at the back of the horde, carlos still had his arms around y/n's waist, his body pressed up against hers in a way that was anything but innocent as he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"we could get out of here now, corazon, and head back to my villa. let the night end with me inside of you?"

she hums in content, turning to face carlos, her face heating up at the memory of his tongue in her mouth, his lips against hers, his hands leaving a bruising grip on her waist "very tempting, but in case you haven't realized, i'm the sane one. they're definitely going to get themselves in trouble if i don't go with them."

"i'll go wherever you go, corazon. and once you're certain they aren't going to get into trouble, the two of us can go back to my villa and get up to our own, good kind of trouble."

his lips were so close to her neck, and she had to bite her bottom lip to stop from moaning.

"carlos." she whined lowly, thankful that they were at the back of the crowd and everybody else was too drunk to notice.

"i know, carino, i know."

they were back in the car, with holly and y/n sitting on their lovers's laps due to the total lack of space within the car. they were violating so many traffic laws, and there was no way that sophia was sober enough to be driving.

holly and caco were making out in the backseat, and agatha was complaining about god knows what while y/n fought to restrain herself from guiding carlos' hands between her legs.

"ew, ew ew, im covered in egg yolk and it's drying on my skin!" agatha whined, shaking her hands in the air. "it's bloody disgusting!"

"what do you want us to do, agatha?" jennifer whined. "you were fine in the bar."

"yeah, until your drunk ass spilt a pint on my dress!"

"ladies, ladies, let's mediate this, let's sort it out." sophia urged, taking a corner far too quickly. y/n was grateful that the spanish roads were empty, and that there were no cars around for sophia to crash into. "look, there's a pond over there."

holly stopped kissing caco for a fraction of a second, her head flying up, the top of her ponytail grazing the ceiling of the rental car. "you can't seriously be suggesting what i think you're suggesting."

agatha laughed, throwing her hands in the air and hitting both caco and carlos in the faces. "let's go skinny dipping!"

with a cheer and a few decidedly unsafe driving techniques, sophia navigated the car into the park, almost hitting a flock of seagulls in the process as she drove right up to the pond's edge.

the girls flocked out of the suv, immediately stripping down to lingerie and getting in the pond. caco took his dress shirt off, hoisting holly over his shoulder before wading in up to the knees on his slacks.

y/n spun around with a mischievous look in her eyes, making eye contact with carlos as she began to slide the straps of her romper down her shoulders. the ferrari driver's hungry eyes followed her movements as she began to show more and more skin, a prominent bulge appearing in his jeans as he swallowed hard.

"what do you say, mr. ferrari?" she was now down to her pale yellow matching set, a color complementary to the floral pattern she had been wearing previously. "care to join me for a swim?"

saturday morning. 10:00 AM.

now that the bridal party was mostly awake and coherent, they were dressed in sweats and gathered in the villa kitchen, hounding carlos for breakfast and spanish hangover remedies.

"excuse me, mr hot bartender, why is my drink this green?" jennifer whined, scrunching up her nose as she sniffed at carlos' hangover remedy

"because there's kale in in, dumbass." agatha rolled her eyes.

carlos turned to y/n, who was messily picking her way through a breakfast frittata. he looked her in the eyes, mouthing 'help me', to which the bridesmaid simply laughed.

around 10:10, holly and caco stumbled out of the bedroom in varying states of disarray, their hair a mess and hickeys all over both their necks. holly barely even glanced at her bridesmaids, instead grabbing jennifers untouched glass of kale and egg yolk and chugging it down in one go.

"so we know about the egging, and we have the receipts that prove we were at the bar," agatha began. "but why do i smell like a pond?"

"maybe it has something to do with this parking ticket." sophia asked thoughtfully, placing the paper, written fully in spanish, in the middle of the table.

holly snapped to attention "oh my god, the car. that's on my dad's credit card. i swear to god, if anything happened to it last night-"

caco placed a hand on her arm. "hermosa, im sure it's fine. i'm sure nothing that bad happened to it."

"we used it in the comission of a crime."

jennifer choked on her omlette. "yeah, and it was fucking fun. you should see how salty brad and jake are. they posted a whole ass rant on facebook. god, i hate them both."

y/n rolled her eyes. "let me take one for the team and go see if the car is out front, how about that?"

she got up from the island and walked around to the front of the villa, tile cool against her bare feet. she never had found her heels. when she opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, her heart stopped.

the car was missing.

friday night. 10:37 PM.

y/n wasn't sure how the night had gotten this insane.

the bridal party were drunk off their asses, floundering around in a public pond in mallorca with the groom and the best man. agatha was making out with sophia, a fine line the duo had been dancing around since the group all met in college and y/n was seriously considering jumping carlos sainz jr's bones.

somewhere along the line, a very out of key carrie underwood karaoke session had begun, with the drunken bridesmaids singing 'before he cheats' as they splashed each other with the mucky pond water.

agatha had stopped complaining about the egg yolk on her arms, but it wouldn't be long before she started complaining about pond dwelling fish, or algae, or fucking frogs.

somewhere on the shore, a phone began to ring, the generic apple ringtone breaking through the tone deaf song.

"i'll get it!" jennifer shouted- well, more like slurred, before she began to swim to shore, her head barely hovering above the dark water as she made a grab for her phone and her dress.

y/n and carlos hadn't ventured in very far, the pond not being that deep anyways. there was no space in between their bodies, her hands on his shoulders and her legs around his waist as he supported her body.

"hi." she said quietly, like time had slowed and this was a moment just for the two of them.

it was the clearest her mind had been all night.

"hi." carlos said back, matching her tone. "you look beautiful, carino."

"kiss me, carlos."

and so he did, his soft, plump lips cushioning hers as he cradled her body against the pond's edge.

"holy fuck, guys the cops are here!"

the group may have been drunk, but they were sober enough to know that none of them wanted to end up in a spanish jail under a drunk and disorderly when they all had jobs they needed to get back to on tuesday.

"motherfucker!" holly shouted. "what do we do?"

"for one thing, we put our clothes back on!" agatha shouted back, splashing through the water with sophia right behind her. "and then we get in the car and hope thye don't fucking see us!"

the bridal party scrambled out of the water, hastily pulling their clothes back on before sophia started patting down her pockets. "guys, i can't find the keys!"

jennifer's eyes bulged. "what the fuck do you mean you can't find the keys?"

"i mean they're not here!"

"everybody calm down!" y/n encouraged. "i'm sure they're just, in the grass somewhere."

"is that a parking ticket?" holly screamed, pointing at a mint green slip of paper under the windshield. "oh, my parents are going to hate this."

"that's the least of our worries right now, holly." carlos rolled his eyes before sinking to his knees and patting down the grassy area where the clothes had been scattered.

"is anybody at all going to help us look?" sophia shouted, the rest of the group snapping to attention and beginning the hunt for the subaru keys.

minutes flew by, and drinks were wearing off. agatha had already been sick in the pond, scaring away three swans.

"guys," y/n panted, ready to throw in the towel. "we're never going to find the keys in the dark, let's just leave the car here and fucking come back for it."

"it's going to get towed if we leave it in the open. we need to hide it somehow." caco pointed out

jennifer scoffed. "we can't just push the damn thing into the pond."

"no, but we can hide it in the bushes." agatha suggested. "if we cover it with enough branches, nobody will be able to see it. we just have to hope we can find the keys in the morning."

and so it was decided. with help from caco and carlos, the group managed to push the rental car into the bushes, pulling branches over the rear window as sophia called for two ubers back to the villa.

friday morning. 10:45 AM

"are you sure this is the right park."

"it's what the parking ticket said, jennifer! you'd know that if you could read something other than cosmopolitan and vogue!" agatha shouted, waving the ticket in the air as a flock of morning doves startled and flew off.

sophia raised her hand, waiting for the already agitated agatha to call on her, giving her permission to speak. "this is all pointless if we can't find the keys."

"right, let's split up then." agatha rubbed at the skin on her forehead. "half of us will look for the car keys in the grass, the rest of you search the shrubs and shit. maybe the pond, too."

"i'm not getting back in there." holly pouted "there's no way we parked the car underwater."

"fine. don't look there, then."

they broke off into groups, desperate to find not only the hidden suv, but the keys that would allow them to drive it home and pretend like friday night had never happened.

but there was still a major part of friday night that y/n was trying to get back, and it pained her that she never would.

"hey, carlos." she said softly as she and the spaniard began sifting through the large mounds of shrubbery around the pond. "im sorry that i don't remember anything from last night."

"it's okay, y/n. i don't remember too much of it either, if that's any consolation."

"but it's not." she shook her head. "from what i can remember, and what i saw this morning, you seem like a really sweet guy and its a shame that we're going to throw the whole damn thing away."

carlos stopped moving branches, resting his hand on hers. "how can i make it up to you?"

"maybe you can refresh my memory?" she suggested in a tone that she hoped was even the slightest bit suggestive, indicative of where she hoped this new love might lead her. "after a nice dinner, and maybe a walk along the beach?"

carlos laughed, turning to face her. "i would like nothing more."

"good." she said with a smile before cupping his cheeks with her hands, and pressing up on her tiptoes to kiss him, his hands flying to her waist as the bridal party caught sight of the two and began to cheer.

the couple continued to kiss sweetly in front of the shrub when a large beeping noise startled them, red lights illuminating the inside of the shrubbery as the couple jumped, y/n still held safe in carlos' arms.

"i found the car keys!"

"shut up, agatha!"

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