#hoping it won't take toooo long

[coldflasher]

aiming to have the next chapter of damaged nerve, dark bird up by the end of the week!! will i manage it? who knows. but i'll die trying

[baek-at-it-again95]

Walk The Plank (KHJ x fem reader)

Chapter 14: Paradigm

You had grown up hearing tales about the infamous pirate crew ATEEZ—the fearless, power-hungry men that roamed the seas in search of the most valuable treasure they could lay their hands on. You almost didn’t believe the stories your mother had told you as a child...not until you wound up on their ship  

Warnings for this chapter: brief talk on the topic death

A/N: hello! It’s taken a little longer than I wanted to be able to sit down and write this chapter...the end of the semester is coming toooo fast lol. Thank you for being patient loves :)

Previous: Chapter 13, Masterlist

Chapter 14: Paradigm

Wanted: Kim Hongjoong 

The picture on the wanted poster is similar to the alternate Hongjoong you're accompanied by...all but the scar drawn across his left eye.

How many of them are there?

You immediately turn to Hongjoong. 

"We are in the wrong universe," you whisper.

"How do you know?" he asks. Without another word, you hold up the wanted poster for him to see. His eyes widen and he pushes it down from where you hold it, hoping that no one passing by caught a glimpse. "Okay, okay."

"Are you a wanted scoundrel in every universe?" you ask in a hushed tone. He doesn't answer—just gives you a look of annoyance, and you take the liberty of asking another question. "Do you think I can try to use the Cromer to get us back right now?"

"We can try, but I doubt it will work. Whatever ability you have...it seems to be strongest when you are in danger. That's when you have been able to jump."

"So, what you are saying is...you want me to put myself in danger on purpose?" You eye him in disbelief. "Is there no other way?"

"Perhaps there is...I just believe this would be the easiest way, given the circumstances. I do not want us to be here very long and try to figure out an alternative." He looks up to make sure no one is listening. "We must also find a way to assure that you jump to the correct universe the first time. It could weaken you to jump so frequently. Did you not notice how you were feeling when we first got here? You could barely breathe, Y/N."

"I—I thought I was just panicking like anyone else would, being thrown off a ship," you admit. You take your own glance around and your eyes land on two more wanted signs on the wall. 

Wanted: Park Seonghwa

Wanted: Choi Jongho

"Alright. Whatever it takes to get out of here. I do not like it," you mumble. Hongjoong nods in agreement. 

"Well, the good news is that all we have to do to put ourselves in danger is to get someone to see us and recognize us as this city's wanted criminals."

"Recognize us? I think you mean you. What if I do not feel threatened enough to use the Cromer because they are not actually after me?"

"That won't be a problem, my lady." The man in front of you snatches a piece of paper from the wall beside you, unwrinkling it to face you. 

Wanted: Y/N L/N

"You have got to be kidding me." You shiver at the sight...perhaps you should have expected it at this point. You squint at the paper, carefully taking it from Hongjoong. The picture of the you from this universe resembles you more than the other alternates do. She has no scars across her face, and there is no difference in your hairstyle like the others. You run your finger along the picture, never having seen one so...real. "How do they do it?" you ask curiously.

"Do what?" Hongjoong whispers, pulling you into the shadows between a pair of buildings. 

"Make pictures so detailed?"

"They print..." Hongjoong trails off, scratching his head. "This society is very progressed. They have technology that yours does not have just yet."

"Wow." You marvel at the paper again.

"This universe is very industrialized." You pretend to understand what he is saying and nod, taking one last glance at the paper before crumpling it in your palm.

"Let's get out of here." As you crumple the paper, a thought comes to the back of your mind. You attempt to push it away, not wanting to spiral, but it persists. "What if I am already too weak to use the Cromer again?" you blurt. Hongjoong looks at you, his expression softening...something that reminds you of how your own Hongjoong looks at you.

"Y/N." He places a hand on your shoulder. "Your condition seems to be well. Do you know strong you are for being able to take us everywhere that you have? You're incredible. You're strong. I know this is something you're capable of. It might be difficult, but you can do it." You bite your lip, looking to your feet.

"I will try my best." You sigh. You miss your friends. You miss your Hongjoong. And though you hate to compare them, it's impossible, really. You can admit that this version of Hongjoong is comforting. He is similarly intelligent and respectful, and your interactions have been alright aside from the night you had pried too far with your question about what the Guardians had taken from him. You still can't help but think about it...

What could he possibly need back so badly that he has gotten into trouble with the Guardians himself? If you return him to his universe now, will he have less of a punishment for causing trouble? Maybe there will be worse consequences now that he is traveling with you.

When will it end? You seem to be a conduit for trouble, your previous luck now balancing out with negatives. If you had never decided to go on a journey without your father, would you still be in this mess? Maybe you never would have met Hongjoong or fallen in love with him...at least then he would be safe. His crew would be safe. Away from you. 

***

You rub your hands together, keeping them close to the small fire that Hongjoong had started. He had decided it would be ideal to rest back at the abandoned building you arrived at and then carry on with your plan in the morning. So here you are, on the second level of the building that isn't flooded with knee-deep water. "So tired," you mumble.

"I can only imagine. You need as much rest as possible before we carry out our escape tomorrow," Hongjoong says, sitting down next to you.

"May we go over the plan again?" He nods. 

"Tomorrow, we will return to the inner city. It's simple, really. You will anonymously report that Kim Hongjoong and Y/N L/N have been spotted near the center of town. Do you remember that shrine we passed?"

If he is referring to the scarecrow-like thing dressed in torn black robes and a black hat...yes, you do know. It would be quite hard to forget.

"Yes."

"We will head there. We will wait for their men to arrive, and when they attempt to capture us...you get us out." You tuck your knees into your chest as you think about how terrifying his plan is. What other choice do you have, though?

"Do you think that I could return you to your universe? You mentioned that there has to be some way I can control the Cromer...we just have not figured it out."

"I suppose if you are able to return me, it would be ideal. It would save you from using all your energy to take us back and forth. Also, the longer I am with you, the more we are at risk of being captured by Guardians." You sigh, resting your forehead on your knees. 

"Is it too simple to conclude that I would just need to think about what universe I want to travel to before I go there?" you ask, your voice muffled. You cannot see Hongjoong, but you can imagine his face as he thinks. 

"No, not at all. Now that I think about it, that must be what you have been doing. The only times you have jumped to the wrong place, like this one, were the times you were not expecting to jump at all. Therefore, you were not thinking about a specific universe and the Cromer just took you wherever it decided." You lift your head, meeting his eyes that reflect the warm light of the fire in front of you. "Think about it, Y/N. The night we first encountered each other. When you brought us back to your universe, of course you had been thinking of your home." He runs a hand through his hair. "But earlier when I pushed you away from the Guardian without warning, the Cromer just took us here. I think it's because you weren't focused on a specific universe at that point. It makes perfect sense, Y/N." 

You nod. "If that is true, then I will try my best to get you home tomorrow, Joong." The nickname that you have for your lover accidentally slips off your tongue, your face becoming warm. He doesn't seem to notice as he stares into the fire in front of you.

"It doesn't seem much like home anymore, back where I'm from." You furrow your brows at his statement. 

"But if you do not go back, there could be worse punishments for you."

"Yes, but I think I've already received the worst punishment I could have in this life." You start to shift anxiously, thinking about all the possible things that could have happened to him for him to think like this.

"You must go back. The Guardians will kill you," you state, a sick feeling taking over you.

"I will return for some time," he replies calmly. "But I believe that to die while fighting for what is mine would be an honorable death." You so badly want to protest his statement, but you know this is something he has thought about for a torturous amount of time.

"Hongjoong..." He looks to you, his eyes glassy. "What have they done to you?" Your voice is just a whisper. He looks away again with hesitation.

"They took my love from me," he says. "She did not deserve that fate. I cannot imagine what she has gone through." He inhales sharply before continuing. "Every day, I pray that they've just brought her to a better world. One where she is not suffering or living a life she cannot bear." You feel his emotions intensely, tears starting to prick at your eyes as he opens up to you. You attempt to blink them away as you meet his gaze again.

"It must be difficult...I am deeply sorry that this happened to you." He nods, lips pulled in a tight line. "I am sure that she is out there, and I will pray that she is safe as well," you assure. Looking down at your hands that grip the torn hem of your dress, you start to feel the inevitable exhaustion of the day's events. 

Your head feels foggy as you think about many things all at once. You think about Hongjoong's lover and what she must have been like. You think about the seemingly endless number of universes. You think about how anything would ever be normal again if you make it home.

"Thank you," you hear Hongjoong say suddenly. He sounds far away, despite being right beside you. 

You can only manage to hum in response, your head falling to rest on his shoulder as you give into sleep. 

>>chapter 15

[lovelykil]

「 drama queen 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; dramatic ASS

note; HELP why did i get so poetic here

The leaves rustled around as the howling wind brushed them off the driveway to my place of residence.

The day was a cold one indeed, in the midst of winter where animals hid for hibernation during this long cold winter, pedestrians wrapped up in scars, jackets, mittens.. oh my.

Children played in the thick sparkly snow, letting the magical white dust tickle at their nose.

Where's the days grew short and the nights grew more.

I should feel glee in this small town! Yet my body lays on the ground.

Lifelessly, as I suffer from a heartache.

"It hurts, it hurts!" I croak. Feeling my hand stroke my throat. I whine and cry, it grows dry.

then I sigh.

I awoke from the ground where I lie, tip-toeing my way to the wintry window. My chilly hands touch the surface, closing my eyes as I let out a small breath. I clench my robe and drown in my own thoughts.

He's gone..

I've gone wrong!

how I long to be with him again..

but, alas.. he never loved me.

fingerprints left to be seen as I parted away from the glass, falling into my bed that held much mass.

I sniffle, I choke, I am awfully broke.

Brok-en!

but broke as well.

Ever since he departed ways from me I can no longer feel the legs that I was given, that dangled from the bed.

My eyes weary and tired.

My nose leaky and red.

My throat burning and itching.

I reach for what's left of in the tissue box, blowing my stuffy nose, feeling my eyes grow puffy as I blow.

I am sick, so sick. My heart aches, my body weakens, the light darkness.

The night rises as the day lies.

I am soon swallowed into the dark, the void closing in. There is no hope as I foretold before he has not returned I fear, and shall never.

I groan.

I moan.

And I..

"Y/n I'm back with your medicine that the doctor prescribed you, glad your mom called you'd be missing another week if you didn't take this now." Kyle opened the door, holding onto a white bag.

He looked around the dark room, his brows furrowing. He switched on the light and looked on the bed.

"Oh god."

I lay dead amongst filthy tissues surrounding me, a half-drunken water bottle and a stained robe open to reveal a plain long t-shirt.

"Y/n I swear.." the red head walked his way toward me and sighed as he opened the mysterious bag. I blinked slowly, moving my fingers ever so slightly.

"Alright take two of these."

"Kyle?"

"Yes. It's me. Now take two of these."

"Kyle???" I rose from the bed, suddenly filled with a rush of joy. Kyle reached for my water bottle and opened it.

"Yes sweetheart it's me, now take this please." He set the pills into my cold hands.

"Holy shit you're cold.."

"Oh my goshh my baby is back, I thought you would never come back" I gushed, leaning in towards him. Kyle backed away, fearing he might get infected.

"Sweetie please just tak-"

"You were gone soooo long I thought you left me." I whined. I reached out with my free hand to rub his cheek. He slowly set my hand down, grinning slightly.

"Y/n I was only gone for 20 minutes." He moved my hand to my mouth with the medicine as I looked at him with a frown.

"That was TOOOO longg, don't be gone so muchh...."

"Alright I won't love, now say 'ahh'

"Promise??"

"Promise." He smiled.

My chapped lips formed a bright smile as I let him pour in my pills into my mouth.

"go 'ahhhhh'

" 'aahhhhh'"

Quickly and shortly the medicine touched my tounge.

"Now drink your water sweetheart," He passed me the bottle to which I nodded my head and drank it on my own.

I felt the liquid mix with the medicine making me cringe but quickly I swallowed it all and sighed.

"Good girl." Kyle took the water bottle and put it on the ground. I watched him with a lovesick smile plastered on my sick face, letting out a small cough as I admired.

The ginger took off his sweater and set it on a chair then he looked at my bed. His eyes scanned the nasty booger infectious tissues that laid all around me as I looked back at him with nothing but a smile.

He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Let's go to the.. bathroom to wash you up.."

"Okayy" Kyle walked to the bed and grabbed my hand to pull me up. I held his arm around mine once I was stable on the ground and nudged my head on him like a clingy dog.

"I so thought you left me, please don't leave me again, I was so alone." I clenched his arm, frowning. He walked me out of my bedroom, landing a kiss onto my head.

"I won't, sorry" Kyle said in a playful tone, taking me into the bathroom.

"What's so funny?" I questioned with an eyebrow rise, watching him close the door.

He shook his head playfully, trying to wipe off that smirk "nothing, you're just such a drama queen. Now take off the robe so I can wash it and wash your face I want you to go to school next week because I missed you there." He muttered the last word, smiling to himself.

I whined, turning on the sink and letting the robe slip off my body.

"It's to cold for this!"

"Well then use warm water dummy"

"YEAH BUT ITS JUST-"

"Excusesssss" Kyle opened back up the door, drawing out the word with a grin as he walked away with the dirty robe.

I groaned some more, waiting for the water to turn warm.

"KYLEEE"

"Wash your FACE"

"ughhh."

"Love you too!"

[blue-willow-tree]

hehe i’m so happy i made you smile <3 i just know you have the prettiest and cutest smile :3 makes me wish i was there pinching your cheeks :P

and yes i’ve been drinking enough water :D i’m the kind of person that prefers water over any sugary drinks :3

i’m so sorry that you’ve had terrible dom/sub relationships in the past :( i know how hard it is to ‘find yourself again’ after leaving a particularly bad dom/sub relationship. my first dom/sub relationship was online and polyamory (which is already such a big step to take) and it didn’t end well for the three of us :’)

you deserve so much love and you’re more than enough for a dom/sub/switch, okay? all of us love you so much and you’re such a special and ethereal person :)

i also have problems with closing people off, apparently i have ‘avoidant attachment style’ when it comes to relationships with people :’) im not sure if you have it too (but you should search it up when you can!) but i completely understand shutting out emotions :(

just reading your reply to my ask has my eyes watery, you just... you deserve so much and more and i really really hope you’ll find your happiness in someone. you deserve it jusr as much as anyone else does, angel :(

it’s fine to show your ‘subby’ side only IF you’re comfortable. your comfort and happiness matters more, okay? so what if you want to show your subby side? fuck everyone else smh (don’t come for me please) i’m happy you’re more comfortable with showing your subby side with someone though, i’m so so so so happy for you <3

sorry for the long ask, i love talking to someone that gives such long and thoughtful answers <3 i appreciate our friendship so much too, willow <3 mwa xx

— ✨️

Haha aww you're so sweet, I do have pink soft cheeks so go ahead love haha x

Me too! Water is just so heavenly, I drink multiple liters a day. I do however have a slight coca-cola addiction (it's definitely not slight, it's a real problem, but I will continue to live in denial)

It was extremely hard to find myself, especially after I had made them my whole world. When the first one ended, another one found me, and unfortunately took advantage of how broken I was and was a narcissist who wanted to break me down further. That continued for about a year online, it truly was horrible.

I am so so sorry for how your first d/s relationship went. Immediately starting off with polyamory is definitely such a big step to take, and I'm proud of you for how much you've healed. You are so sweet, once I have a d/s relationship I'll want nothing more than to give them the world. As much fun as the kinky-ness is, I'll live for the sweet aftercare and tender moments. I've even been writing a book for my future lover haha

I'll definitely do some research on that, love. Thank you so much, and I'm so sorry you have that too. It really can be so hard to deal with, then we feel like the bad guys, even though we're just tired of being hurt. I'm so sorry for making your eyes water love, you had even done the same to me haha x I understand how big the craving is to have someone be soft and tender with you, so I'm glad I get to use this platform to be that for others anonymously <3

I'll begin getting more comfortable with showing my sub side more publically, but not toooo much, that side of me is delicate and precious, and only reserved to those that earn it x which is a very rare case but yes somebody has cracked me haha, I won't be surprised if she reads this

I adore long asks love, they make me so happy <33 and I adore talking with you just as much :) mwah, have a beautiful day xxx

[arichaa]

Love confession from Akaza in an event

Hi! This one took me a while, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. I still hope you'll like it♡

So basically Y/N gets invited to an event where Akaza Human is also invited (I decided to call him Hakuji since he's a human in this oneshot) And after they get close, they confess their feelings to each other~

First, sorry if Akaza is a bit OOC, It is what it is, and second, yes I know, you'll read Daki is called Daki, not Ume, but I prefer to call her Daki even though she is a human ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Precisions: female reader; everyone is human; modern AU

Tonight's the night. The Y/N’s best friend's hard work has finally paid off with the grand opening of Hotel Mue. Y/N was an essential part of the hotel's creation, so she should at least show up. Their friend group also greatly helped, and they will all be in attendance. The pressure's at an all-time high as some major business figures and collaborators who believed in them will be attending the ceremony. She sighs in relief that she won't be the one having to entertain them.

Y/N prepares and wears the dazzling dress she chose several weeks ago. She's a huge fan of elegant events, although she rarely has the opportunity to attend them. For multiple reasons: the opportunity to wear a long evening dress, red lipstick makeup, the buffet, the music, the lavishly decorated hall... Y/N can't help but smile at just the thought of it. She leaves her home without forgetting the gift and bouquet of flowers destined for her best friend.

___________________________

On arrival at the hotel, she is greeted by the gatekeeper and walks towards the main room. The door is already wide open, and she can already see inside. There are too many people. Way too many... She barely knows half of them.

???: AAAAAHHH Y/N!!!

As her name echoes in the room, she looks to the right and sees her favorite friend arriving quickly in front of her with a smile. Y/N gasps at the sight. Seeing Daki this gorgeous makes Y/N realize all the efforts she has put in. She has put on a dress worthy of a host, after all, it's her who's the star tonight... Daki opens her arms and embraces her friend, who does the same.

Y/N: Daki you're so beautiful!

Daki: Aawww you toooo!!!!

Y/N: I'm literally so proud of you right now...

Daki laughs and pretends to kiss Y/N's cheek, not wanting to stain her face with her lipstick. Daki looks down and smiles at the sight of the gifts.

Daki: My darling, you shouldn't have... thank you…

Y/N: Of course I should have...

Daki: I'm going to put them with the others... Still, I told you you'd done enough already…

Daki takes Y/N's gifts. They both look around and admire the hall together.

Y/N: I'm guessing you're busy right now?

Daki: Indeed, I need to interact with the other guests... Oh! While we're at it! He's here you know?

She says that while nudging Y/N with her elbow.

Y/N: Yes, He is...

Daki: You know what you need to do, huh?

Y/N: He probably has other things in mind.

Daki: Not at all! I had to negotiate like crazy to get him to come here, so take advantage of this.

Y/N: Ah, poor thing... You shouldn't force people.

Daki: Wait, wait, it's when I told him you were coming that he changed his mind!

Y/N: *surprised* Wait, what?

Daki: Yeahhhh... Let's see... He's over there... Look!

Y/N's heart starts beating faster. She looks in the direction of her crush. There he is. Hakuji wearing a navy blue suit... And he's way too freaking handsome! She can only see the back of him from where she is, but damn he's so beautiful! He's talking with Doma... Daki looks at Y/N with a smirk.

Daki: Go say hi or something... I have to go anyway.

Y/N: What, already? No please... Stay with meeee~~~

Daki: Mmmhh...Nah 😜

Y/N: *chuckles* Wow...

Daki: Have fun... with him... ;)

Daki smiles and waves goodbye as she heads out as quickly as she came, leaving Y/N with a sigh, disheartened. It's true she could go for Hakuji but she regrets not being able to have Daki for longer. There's nothing left to do but go ahead and join the others. As she heads to meet Hakuji, she wonders how everything will unfold.

Doma was laughing when he realized a gorgeous woman was heading in their direction. He couldn't help but gasp and cover his mouth in surprise. Hakuji turns around to see what caused the reaction and is surprised when he sees Y/N.

Doma: AAAAAH look who it is!

Y/N: Well, yes, it's me~~

Doma hugs her affectionately and tells her she is incredible. But Y/N's attention is already focused on Hakuji, who is trying not to show what he thinks at that very moment. Y/N lets go of Doma and goes to greet the man of her heart by hugging him too, not to her dislike…

Y/N: Hi you...

Hakuji: Good evening, Y/N...

Doma watches with his hands on his hips, making a mischievous look. Y/N sits with them at their table and they chat, laugh, and enjoy the buffet... and Doma keeps looking at his watch more and more.

Doma: Hey guys, I have to go now. I'm supposed to speak to somebody, and he’s going to arrive soon.

Hakuji: Really? You didn't tell me about that... Who is it?

Doma: Oh... I don't really know him personally, I have to talk to him about some business stuff… Well anyway, I’m off!

Doma heads quickly towards the exit. He turns around to see his two friends confused to see him leaving so quickly, and reassures them by sending them a flying kiss. Y/N laughs and waved goodbye while Hakuji sighs, amused.

Y/N: Well, it's just us two now...

Hakuji: Indeed... It sure came suddenly.

Y/N: Did you know what he was talking about?

Hakuji: Not at all.

Y/N: ...

A silence settles between them. Y/N looks at Hakuji, who avoids her gaze. She takes a sip of her drink without taking her eyes off him.

Hakuji: There are more and more people.

Y/N: I really didn't expect there to be this many people here, Daki really shines here, huh? *smiles*

Hakuji: *chuckles* Well, at least she has you for support.

Y/N: ...

Hakuji: ?

Y/N: You also have me as support, you know?

Y/N said it while looking elsewhere while Hakuji loosened his tie a bit, suddenly feeling hot.

Hakuji: Really?

Y/N: *nods* Mhm...

Hakuji: You won't be upset if I tell you how I feel then?

Y/N's eyes turn to Hakuji. Is this what she thinks? She doesn't reply and waits for him to continue.

Hakuji: The crowd is certainly huge and a quiet place would be certainly preferable.

Oh... What is he saying? Is he also trying to make a move?

Y/N: Is that really what you were thinking?

Hakuji: Y-Yes! Uh… What else…

Y/N: Then, we should go upstairs…

Hakuji: Upstairs… Isn't it closed?

Y/N: Nobody knows we are allowed to go there and it's better if it stays that way, right?

Y/N sets her drink on the table and gets up. She waits for Hakuji while smiling as he looks at her.

Y/N: Come on, let's go.

He collects himself and gets up as well. They try to get through the guests and avoid stepping on the ladies' dresses on their way out.

They go upstairs and stop for a moment to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere as they take in the surrounding ambiance. The atmosphere is more peaceful, only illuminated by the light coming from the ground floor. Several hallways await them, and Y/N dares to touch Hakuji's hand to signal for him to follow her.

They walk down the middle corridor slowly, which leads to several closed rooms.

Y/N: You're right, this quiet atmosphere feels good.

Hakuji: Mhm.

Their hearts are beating fast. The fact that they walk together like this creates an intimate atmosphere, it's exciting and yet makes them nervous at the same time.

Hakuji: Where exactly are you taking me?

Y/N: You'll see...

A golden door is located at the end of the corridor. Y/N draws near and opens it, then Hakuji follows behind. It turns out it leads to a balcony, a sort of patio. The flooring is made of marble tiles, there are chairs and small tables to the left and of course, the railing every balcony has. Everything is beautifully adorned in golden colors.

Hakuji: I wonder where she got the money to fund all this.

Y/N: It's better that you don't know...

They both laugh and end the walk by leaning on the railing. It's dark outside, fairly cool, and the usual sounds of the city blend in with the refined music coming from the ground floor. However, a notification from Y/N's phone breaks the silence. She directs her attention towards the device. Daki? Is she not busy? She opens the message.

"I can't see you anymore"

"I know I told you to have fun, but I hope you guys are not going all crazy in my hotel???"

Y/N's eyes widen and she glances to the right to make sure her crush hasn't seen what this witch has just written. Thankfully, he was looking at the sky. But sensing Y/N's gaze, he looks at her with a curious look. Y/N turns off her phone and smiles reassuringly at him.

Hakuji glances at the city now. He enjoys the fresh breeze that contrasts with the stuffy heat of the grand hall. Y/N glances at the stars. She enjoys the comfortable moonlight more than the artificial lamps.

Hakuji: Thank you for bringing me here.

Y/N: Thanks for suggesting it.

Hakuji smiles and runs his hand through his hair.

Y/N: So... apart from the crowd... do you like the party?

Hakuji: Yeah, it's a very successful event…

Y/N: Daki told me it required some effort to get you to come

Hakuji: She really said that to you...?

He takes a moment to ponder and fidgets with his thumbs.

Hakuji: Did she say anything else?

Y/N prefers to play dumb. If anything were to happen that night, she wants it to be natural.

Y/N: No she didn't...

As time passes, they discuss anything and everything.

Y/N: The view is beautiful indeed… It's truly splendid.

Hakuji: Yes, especially at night…

While they weren't present, a lot was going on downstairs: tastings of cakes or other small events. But neither of these young lovebirds wanted to participate in those small events and preferred staying here and feeling this deep sense of intimacy with each other. However, the next part of the party would be of interest to them, as the genre of music has changed, giving way to softer tunes.

Hakuji: Y-Y/N!

Y/N: Y-Yes?

Hakuji: L-Let me invite you to dance!

Hakuji seems determined. He had to grasp the opportunity, even if he seemed somewhat embarrassed. Y/N's breathing begins to become heavy and her cheeks start to get somewhat rosy. With a trembling hand, she places her hand in the one Hakuji had offered to invite her. How could she say no?

Y/N: I would love to...

Hakuji can hardly believe it. He swallows and leads her away from the railing for better freedom of movement. He waits until Y/N makes the first step by placing her left hand on his shoulder, which will give him the signal that she's comfortable with that kind of physical contact. He takes her hand and gently caresses her waist. Y/N can't stop glancing at him. If there was one thing she fantasized about, it was Hakuji's hands.

Hakuji: Tell me if anything disturbs you…

Y/N: Mhm...

Their slow and gentle swaying begins, and the volume of music is very low and soothing from where they can hear it. They can hear each other's breathing if they concentrate on them, which they both do. There is no one else who deserves either of their attentions right now.

They no longer dare speak, their acts are already quite loud. Y/N tries to lace her fingers with Hakuji's and he caresses hers with his thumb. If they refused to see that there was an ambiguity between them up until now, they could no longer deny it. Hakuji was a blushing mess. A few minutes pass in silence.

Hakuji: It feels... good to do this... with you.

Y/N is shocked. It was direct. She closes her eyes for a short moment to be re-collected. Then she gently lets go of Hakuji's hand, places her hands behind her neck and entangles her fingers. He reacts instinctively by placing both his hands behind her lower back. The change in position was so natural, it seemed as if one knew what the other would do.

Y/N closes her eyes feeling Hakuji's arms embrace her body. He presses his nose into her neck while she caresses his nape.

Hakuji: *quietly* I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner, but you're beautiful...

Y/N: *whispers* Thank you...

They have both heated up. They disengaged their embraces to gaze into each other's eyes for a moment. Hakuji caresses Y/N's chin between his thumb and index finger and she understands what is about to happen. The moment she has been waiting for, the one that will solidify their feelings for each other.

Hakuji breathes heavily and moves his thumb towards Y/N's lower lip for a soft pressure.

Y/N: *whispers* Come on, don't tease me like that...

Hakuji smiles slightly and wipes away the space between them. He leans in and gently places his lips on hers as Y/N closes her eyes and sinks into his touch. She tightens her embrace around his waist while their kiss becomes more and more passionate. It seems like she wants more from him... She starts nibbling on his lower lip, which causes him to moan, and he responds by running his hand over her ear and cheek.

They reluctantly separate to catch their breath. Still in each other's embrace, they breathe heavily and their cheeks are warm and beautifully tinted with red.

Hakuji: Y/N, I... I'm in love with you...

Y/N, moved, embraces him tightly and lays her head on his chest. Hakuji caresses her cheek and holds her closely in a protective manner.

Y/N: I-I love you too...

She shuts her eyes to focus on his heartbeat as he lays his cheek on her head. He can't help but bite his lip upon hearing her sweet declaration.

Hakuji: I'm so happy right now...

Y/N glances up and places her chin on Hakuji's chest to get a better look at him. He looks back at her, still flustered.

Y/N: Are you okay?

Hakuji: Yes, I'm okay. Are you okay?

Y/N: Yes I am...

Hakuji: ...

Y/N: ?

Hakuji: Do you want to stay here?

Y/N: Do you want to leave?

Hakuji: I have my mind elsewhere... *chuckles*

Y/N: Well, same. But Daki is probably going to be mad at me for leaving her party...

Exactly at the moment when Y/N finishes her sentence, she gets a second message from Daki. She opens it up and Hakuji tries to get a peek. They both let out an audible gasp after reading it.

"Nah, I don't care :)"

A witch.

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Oooh how about 20 with Loceit for the hurt/comfort prompts?

Also love you and can't wait to see your writing again though no pressure, take as long as you need💙💛💜💛💛💛💛💛

From these awesome hurt/comfort prompts 😊 Requests are still open 😊

Hey Starlight! It's been a long day but I hope this makes sense! 😊 Love you toooo 💛💛

I Won't Ignore You

Pairing: Loceit, platonic

"Stop. IGNORING ME!"

Janus jumped in shock from his room as those three words reverberated around him. What the hell was going on? He had never heard pure rage come from any Side, but he wasn't concerned... No, not one bit.

He walked over to his door and leant his ear against it softly, he should be able to work out who was around pretty quickly.

There was soft humming and giggling coming from the room opposite him, that would be Patton reading the book of terrible puns that Janus made him a while back. Further away he could hear the aggressive tones of My Chemical Romance, Virgil was here... That was a surprise. He could also hear Roman loud and clear singing 'Let It Go' on repeat. He continued to listen carefully, but there were no other tell-tale signs. So that meant...

Oh no.

Janus paced his room, did he need to go and intervene? He heard some shouting and swearing earlier but he thought that was just Remus being Remus... But that... That could have only been one person. Logan.

Logan had been ignored more and more lately and Janus totally didn't feel any guilt about that at all. That incident with pulling Logan out of the video by the crook totally didn't haunt his mind continuously. He had been trying to work out a way to try and reconcile with Logan, but there hadn't been a good opportunity... but that rage and desperation he heard moments ago though, that could be a good start.

Suddenly, he heard loud stomps go past his door at an alarming rate. The swearing made it clear in an instant that it was Remus. Janus knew better than to talk to Remus when he was that angry, once Remus had turned his room into a rage room for a while, he'd be easier to approach.

The next set of noises were harder to listen to. Slow, tentative footsteps accompanied by the occasional sigh. The sound of paper tearing and muttered words before yet another door slammed shut.

'You should have known that you weren't going to be listened to again.'

That does it.

Janus opened his door with a flourish and paced over to Logan's door knocking loudly. He was greeted by a frustrated sigh as the door opened.

"Look. I don't want to talk to a- Oh... Janus?" Logan asked confused.

"Logan! Hi. Can we- can we talk?" Janus stumbled his way through the question, not in his usual suave fashion. Logan sighed and made an incredibly sarcastic 'after you' gesture. Janus stepped into the room and noticed just how drained the colour had become.

"So... I heard an altercation. I wanted to find out what happened." Janus stated bluntly and Logan raised an eyebrow incredulously.

"Why don't you just ask Remus? Or Thomas?" The bitterness when Logan uttered both of their names was enough to tell him everything.

"I wanted to hear it from you. I had a feeling that you were feeling ignored recently, and that outburst I heard just proves it." Janus removed his glove as he spoke so there could be no discrepancy that he was being genuine.

"Oh, you think? I was just trying to help Thoma be more productive and he abandons everything to go meet a guy he's just met. That's fine. His apartment can remain a mess... That d-doesn't bother me." Logan initially scoffed but his tone turned more frustrated as he spoke as his head dipped, looking at the floor. Janus stepped a little closer.

"It does bother you. That's understandable. We've both been in that position." Janus spoke softly, hoping that Logan would understand what he meant.

Logan's head raised sharply as he gazed at Janus in sympathy initially. They maintained eye contact for a few moments before Logan shook his head and stepped away, the frustration taking over.

"Can't you just- can't you just go?" Logan demanded, but in a tone that was silently pleading because he didn't want to be vulnerable yet again. Janus stepped a little closer and gestured for Logan to look at him.

"I'm not leaving you alone until I know you're okay." Janus responded softly, meaning every word.

There was a stunned silence from Logan, like he couldn't believe that someone would care that much. He chuckled monotonously as he blinked back the tears threatening to form.

"I'm afraid you will be here for quite a while then." Logan admitted and Janus smiled back in response.

"Believe me, Logan. I'm okay with thar. There's nowhere else I would rather be right now."

[mqstermindswift]

hi !! your Annoying Tumblr Mutual has made her return. (gonna say it rn that you can ignore this if you want to, I won't take it personally !!)

todayyy, I thought we would play a lil game that I'm sure you're all familiar with, called 'never have I ever'. just answer "I have" or "I have never" kk?

｡･:*:･ﾟ★YAY LETS GO,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever dyed my hair?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever been in a talent show?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever vacationed in another country?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever met a celebrity in person?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever gone camping?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever learned an instrument?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever been in a relationship?

ೃ⁀➷ never have I ever cried because of an animated movie?

(to all my new mutuals, ty for being moots w/ me and I hope you're prepared for some chaos :>) (to all my *somewhat* long-time moots, ilysm fr)

okayyy baii !! and in case no-one's told you recently, I appreciate youuu .ೃ࿐

HII

I LOVE THESE SM TYY

I've never(really want to go honey brown or smth dark tho)

I've never(been to a maths talent competition but idk if it counts cause we sat an exam soo)

I have(to Cyprus)

I have(she was a Cypriot actress and she was so sweet)

I've never

I've never(I wanna learn how to play the guitar,the drums and the piano tho)

I have but it only lasted for a week and I'm trynna forget about that(an unknown number's calling me once in a while and it's either him talking ro his friend,hea accidentally confessed doing this shit😭)

I have(it was a dinosaur movie I had seen but I don't remember its name)

I love you toooo

thank you for being my moot <3

you mean sm to me :3

[cyclist-of-guilt]

Aaa- 😩 so! 😏 finally! 🙂 you've come! 🙂 I 😐  hadn't 🥴 pictured you like this. 🤨But,   ooh well, 🥴 I suppose, 🤔 that eeeeven 😯 in  DEATH, 😲 WARRIORS 😡 AND MIIIIINERS 🤬 don't   mix. 😌 But I prefer 😒you-to-a 🥹 VALKYRIE!  🤯 I am 🙂 pleaaased. 🫠 Hurry 😗 up! 😚 I think he takes you for death itself! 👵 Poor idiot! 🧐 I'd be only too   happy to be his death, if it helped my cause. 🧐 Liar!! 👧 It won't take long. 🧐 A few questions, at the most. 🧐 For pity's sake, 😩 no riddles! 😓 I've  been 🥴 CRAWLING AROUND THIS CAGE 🤬 for   weeks 🥹 now. 🤨 So spaaare me 😅 you little  guessing games, 🤬 Just take me 😣 AWAY! 🤪 I'll grant your wish. 🧐 But first, you must help me! 🧐  I haven't come just for you. 🧐 I must destroy Albereerh, 🧐 your torturer. 🧐 Oh! 😲 God of Gods! 🥹 Thank you! 🤓 And so, 🙂 FOR US  😐 we revolutionarieees, 🫡 does 🤔 death ���� advance   🤠 by leaning 🤔 on the arm of 😬 JUS TICE? 🤪 I'll help you, 🤭 deadly SPIRIT! 😝 with 🙂 ZEAL   🤪 and with 🤨 JOY! 😱 But in return 😏 ssSSWEAR  🤬 that you'll give me 😤 the gift of 😡 sleep. 🥹 I swear it. 🧐 Why does Albereerh needs Chrysoberhyl, so? 🧐 That 😯 mmMMONSTER! 😨 that 😣  TURNCOAT! 😖 He has managed 🤖 to   create 🤓 a 😳 philoshopher's  egg. 😰 Any metal 🤓 which   is 😟 PLUNGED 😤 INTO IT 😡 turns to 😐 goooold! 🥹 But the egg, 😨 must be 🙄 completely covered   with 😡 Chrysoberyl 🤬 for this to happen. 🤓 Now! 😌 The stone 🥴 concentraAaAtes 🤪 energeeee   🇫🇷🗿 and makes 🙃 anything enveloped 🤨  in its 😒 SHARDS 😲 indistructable. 🥺   The egg ☹ accomplishes the 😟 miracle! 🥹 HOWEVER! 🤓 each 😌 magical 😡 OPERATION 🤬 wears   out 😖 the eggs 😐 prrrrrecious 🤪 shell! 🤓 That is why, 🤬 Alberish 👿 makes the   Nibelungen 😡 DIG UNCEASINGLY! 🤬 It is a rare  gem indeed. 🥹 What hope can there be 😣 in a   world 🙂 where dwarves 🤔 send other dwarves  😐 into the mines 🥴 for a 🤪 little metal? 🥺 Tell me again, 🧐 What must I do to reach Albereerh? 🧐 You have a 🤓 DAUNTING TASK 💀 ahead of you. 😏  Like all 😵 DICK 😳 TATORS, 😲 he's a 😟 COWARD! 😩 He   will not come down. 😒 The Nibelungen? 🤔  Don't count on them 😡 to help you out. 😐  I've 🤓 devoted my 🙃 life 😐 to them, 😵  and did what I could 😡 TO GET THEM TO   REBEL! 🤬 BUT IN VAIN! 🗿 To them, 🤨 I'm 🙂 just  A FREAK 🤬 to be 😒 LAUGHED AT! 😡 during their   break 🥴 time. 😏 They've 😯 bent oVeR BaCkWaRdS  🫣 toooo protect that 😑 MEGALOMANIAC CREEP! 🤬   YoOoOu won't even be 🙄 YoOoOu won't even be able 🤔  to get 🙂 close to him. 😆 The only solution is 🙂 TO   KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL! 🤩 Believe me, 😊 it pains  me to 😐 admit it, 🤨 but my peopoawll 🤯 are damned,   🤓 fallen, 🥺 willingly enslaved. 😼 May they 👀 disappear, 😆 and   their 😑 sorry story 🥺 with them! 😊 But for Alberish, 😏 that 😬 wouldn't   be 🥱 enough! 🙂 As long as the machines  work, 😞 he'll remain 😳 IN-VISIBLE! 🤬 You   must seize 😊 Loge's Tear from the 🤪 MINE'S  ENERGIZING 😱 heart. 😍 The infamous 🤔 Tear 😲 of   the 😏 ANCIENT 😳 fire 😏 spirit, 😦 who has  himself 😟 been enslaved! 😨 Anything that   aspires to 😰 subjugation 🙂 is food for tyranny! 🤬 Fire! 😡 The Dwarves! 👿 And now, 😞 the stone… 🥹  I wonder, sometimes. 🥺 Should we perhaps  loathe more weakness 🤬 more than brute force? 🥺   Drown the dwarves in the 🙄 abyss 😟 of their  😲 IDOLATRY! 🤬 Take the Tear, 🤓 confront   Alberish. 🙂 The time has come! 😲 Keep your  word! 😳 Appease my 😒 ToOorMeEnted SoOoul. 🤪 You shall therefore be freed, by a serf. 🧐 From one slave, to another. 🧐  You have helped me, and for this I thank you. 🧐 With the compliments, of Logah. 🧐 Aaaah! 😩  Oorh! 😤 🔥🔥🔥 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💨💨💨

thank you gamer

[shaadwynn]

Aaa- 😩 so! 😏 finally! 🙂 you've come! 🙂 I 😐  hadn't 🥴 pictured you like this. 🤨But,   ooh well, 🥴 I suppose, 🤔 that eeeeven 😯 in  DEATH, 😲 WARRIORS 😡 AND MIIIIINERS 🤬 don't   mix. 😌 But I prefer 😒you-to-a 🥹 VALKYRIE!  🤯 I am 🙂 pleaaased. 🫠 Hurry 😗 up! 😚 I think he takes you for death itself! 👵 Poor idiot! 🧐 I'd be only too   happy to be his death, if it helped my cause. 🧐 Liar!! 👧 It won't take long. 🧐 A few questions, at the most. 🧐 For pity's sake, 😩 no riddles! 😓 I've  been 🥴 CRAWLING AROUND THIS CAGE 🤬 for   weeks 🥹 now. 🤨 So spaaare me 😅 you little  guessing games, 🤬 Just take me 😣 AWAY! 🤪 I'll grant your wish. 🧐 But first, you must help me! 🧐  I haven't come just for you. 🧐 I must destroy Albereerh, 🧐 your torturer. 🧐 Oh! 😲 God of Gods! 🥹 Thank you! 🤓 And so, 🙂 FOR US  😐 we revolutionarieees, 🫡 does 🤔 death 😑 advance   🤠 by leaning 🤔 on the arm of 😬 JUS TICE? 🤪 I'll help you, 🤭 deadly SPIRIT! 😝 with 🙂 ZEAL   🤪 and with 🤨 JOY! 😱 But in return 😏 ssSSWEAR  🤬 that you'll give me 😤 the gift of 😡 sleep. 🥹 I swear it. 🧐 Why does Albereerh needs Chrysoberhyl, so? 🧐 That 😯 mmMMONSTER! 😨 that 😣  TURNCOAT! 😖 He has managed 🤖 to   create 🤓 a 😳 philoshopher's  egg. 😰 Any metal 🤓 which   is 😟 PLUNGED 😤 INTO IT 😡 turns to 😐 goooold! 🥹 But the egg, 😨 must be 🙄 completely covered   with 😡 Chrysoberyl 🤬 for this to happen. 🤓 Now! 😌 The stone 🥴 concentraAaAtes 🤪 energeeee   🇫🇷🗿 and makes 🙃 anything enveloped 🤨  in its 😒 SHARDS 😲 indistructable. 🥺   The egg ☹ accomplishes the 😟 miracle! 🥹 HOWEVER! 🤓 each 😌 magical 😡 OPERATION 🤬 wears   out 😖 the eggs 😐 prrrrrecious 🤪 shell! 🤓 That is why, 🤬 Alberish 👿 makes the   Nibelungen 😡 DIG UNCEASINGLY! 🤬 It is a rare  gem indeed. 🥹 What hope can there be 😣 in a   world 🙂 where dwarves 🤔 send other dwarves  😐 into the mines 🥴 for a 🤪 little metal? 🥺 Tell me again, 🧐 What must I do to reach Albereerh? 🧐 You have a 🤓 DAUNTING TASK 💀 ahead of you. 😏  Like all 😵 DICK 😳 TATORS, 😲 he's a 😟 COWARD! 😩 He   will not come down. 😒 The Nibelungen? 🤔  Don't count on them 😡 to help you out. 😐  I've 🤓 devoted my 🙃 life 😐 to them, 😵  and did what I could 😡 TO GET THEM TO   REBEL! 🤬 BUT IN VAIN! 🗿 To them, 🤨 I'm 🙂 just  A FREAK 🤬 to be 😒 LAUGHED AT! 😡 during their   break 🥴 time. 😏 They've 😯 bent oVeR BaCkWaRdS  🫣 toooo protect that 😑 MEGALOMANIAC CREEP! 🤬   YoOoOu won't even be 🙄 YoOoOu won't even be able 🤔  to get 🙂 close to him. 😆 The only solution is 🙂 TO   KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL! 🤩 Believe me, 😊 it pains  me to 😐 admit it, 🤨 but my peopoawll 🤯 are damned,   🤓 fallen, 🥺 willingly enslaved. 😼 May they 👀 disappear, 😆 and   their 😑 sorry story 🥺 with them! 😊 But for Alberish, 😏 that 😬 wouldn't   be 🥱 enough! 🙂 As long as the machines  work, 😞 he'll remain 😳 IN-VISIBLE! 🤬 You   must seize 😊 Loge's Tear from the 🤪 MINE'S  ENERGIZING 😱 heart. 😍 The infamous 🤔 Tear 😲 of   the 😏 ANCIENT 😳 fire 😏 spirit, 😦 who has  himself 😟 been enslaved! 😨 Anything that   aspires to 😰 subjugation 🙂 is food for tyranny! 🤬 Fire! 😡 The Dwarves! 👿 And now, 😞 the stone… 🥹  I wonder, sometimes. 🥺 Should we perhaps  loathe more weakness 🤬 more than brute force? 🥺   Drown the dwarves in the 🙄 abyss 😟 of their  😲 IDOLATRY! 🤬 Take the Tear, 🤓 confront   Alberish. 🙂 The time has come! 😲 Keep your  word! 😳 Appease my 😒 ToOorMeEnted SoOoul. 🤪 You shall therefore be freed, by a serf. 🧐 From one slave, to another. 🧐  You have helped me, and for this I thank you. 🧐 With the compliments, of Logah. 🧐 Aaaah! 😩  Oorh! 😤 🔥🔥🔥 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💨💨💨

At first I thought "shit, now these bots can spam your asks too," but then ALBERISH

THIS IS SO CLEVER NONNY THANK YOU 😆😆😆

[elpscroll]

Saturday Report 82

I will never be afraid again, I will write reports 'till the end, I can animate I can music, I will keep going writing 'till I die.

Here we are again in these are the animating and music times, and it's been going pretty good. As you can see in the tease flowchart, I got pretty far with the stuff that's on "Attached to ya" and more should be coming out more smoothly… At least I hope so.

I ended up having to do more edits than I thought I would, and also added more characters than I thought I would, so that took some extra time, but not tooo much. The animation in this update is not anything toooo crazy, so it shouldn't take as long as Maid up did… The Maid up update was very complex, even Road trip had some stuff like that.

I'm getting a little scared that I won't be able to finish it all this month though… this is starting to look like a start of next year thing, but who knows, maybe I'll make it… I apologize if I don't though, do know that this is the biggest update I've done and I'm working very hard on it.

The Halloween special poll ended, but I kinda forgot to write a post about the results. I'll do that later, but the results were great though, very happy about that.

What am I doing?:

Animating and adding music and sound to the "Attached to ya" branch

How much is done?:

Check it by clicking here

Progress of the update:

Rough writing:

Around 12hrs (Final time but now for v7)

Animation:

2hrs 24minutes

Music and Sound:

2hrs 24minutes

Planned hours: Around 12 hours (Final time but now for v7)

Planned release date: This year, pretty sure

[howlinchickhowl]

no see i KNEW you were British!! But hearing your voice and accent just made me smile so hard!

I am NOT a podcast person, at all, but this is definitely gonna be an exception. Hearing Leigh's voice was like oh hell yeah this voice belongs to one person who has written Priest Ian saying the words "all that's inside of me is sin" (somewhere nearby, glasses shatter, people scream, one specific reader starts pacing around, head in both hands, etc etc) 🛐

And then when you suddenly spoke it was just, oh my god, THAT'S HOWL!!! 😊 Your accent made me go like oh ohhh she IS British, isn't she?! There were a couple parts where you said something real quick while giggling and i couldn't even make out what you said because of the static 😭 but like you're immediately laughing over your words and I'm laughing toooo now because that's the howliest thing ever!! 😆 I loved how much you laughed in between. <33 The both of you were sooo fun listening to, I can't wait to see what else you have for us!! <333

Hey anon, if you're still around! I have no idea if you'll see this but I do want to say sorry for not posting this sooner.

I know this wasn't the point of your ask but I did want to take the opportunity to apologise to all @mayo-in-the-morning listeners for the sound quality on my end of the recording, I'm trying a different solution for next episode so hopefully there will be no words lost to the static next time, though I can't guarantee that I won't be laughing my way through the recording. If I had more self-control then maybe! That's the real Howliest thing ever, no professionalism 😂

Anyhow thank you for listening, we're hoping to record episode two before too long <3

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Oh shoot mb for this long ass novel of a post... not only went into a complete tangent I was also preeeeetty high up until recently. Well. Not recent. I am still high buut I think it's been 4 hours since and usually around this time aint too fussy. But yeh uh I have a bad habit of oveeexplaining when high... as you can see 💀💀💀

But yeah this is about 3 hours of high explaining why I'm taking a break from my normal trip report format so shits a wall o text

Atp.. I'm temporarily abandoning my typical format as the shit gets worse/more emotionally driven I either forget to write it all out or just plain don't want to. And I mean. This shit is for me. What would be the point of stressing a specific way of documenting the shit you know? Can just. Switch. And keep it moving. Not like it bothers me fr fr

Uh but. Since my last entry I think I've had a combined mid 3k rangeish of dph. Not toooo bad given my track record but still I know it's only been a few days since my last proper entry not the best either

Currently off a 450 dose so my saltiness won't be too obvious + I'll be to high to get too too upset about whatever other bs comes alone tonight. I'd take more but I'm saving a 200 for the ride home and I end up taking entirely too much on the ride here so I gotta be kinda conservative with my doses now 🥲

Lots of stuff at once. Lots. I don't even know where to begin as far as what's been on my mind. Just so much.. recently I've been crying pretty much every night. Some of it cause of one specific thing I'm thinking on and others just out of pure overwhelment. I'm guessing within the last like.. monthish and a half the longest I've gone w/o has been 4 days

It's annoying to hide tbh as I've been doing it more I've also been more confident in my ability to hide it meaninggg more tears/reaction. Still not horrible horrible but I have a hard time stopping til I'm tired tired so it usually equals a loooooong ass time sobbing or wanting to escalate it further and shaking from how hard I have to stifle myself. I even cried on this trip actually. Me and my mom shared a bed cause a cousin spent a night in the hotel and not thinking of how light of a sleeper she is I accidentally woke her up a few times from how hard I was shaking. I felt so bad oml I hope to god she was still mostly in sleep mode 🙃

Uh anyway. This is really random but I made this post cause today I was so tempted to steal a cig. I don't even smoke em I just was so curious about the risk there. And it made me feel weird.

My whole family smokes. Seriously like, my dad smokes, my mom smokes on and off, my grandma, aunt AND uncle and my moms side of the family?? Pfft. So it's been easy for me to try if I ever really wanted to. Not that they encourage it or anything. I know they'd be pissed. But I'm sure if I timed it right I coulda beeen tried. But now like I genuinely wanted it fr fr. Only reason I changed my mind is cause they wear too close and I ain't wanna risk it and have them look deeper into that

Speaking of family reminded me of R. God. I wish I could back already. I called her a few diff times and she didn't pick up. That's fine ofc bit it's like.. I dunno how to describe it. It feels like she's distancing herself again and I feel like it was my fault for being too predictable. If I had kept phone calls to few and far between she woulda seen it as special and prolly would answer. Bit nah since my dumbass decided to be greedy my calls mean nothing mostly and she'll just ignore whenever

I miss her so much. I hate that I know she's probably sad and lonely and fucking herself up mixing and redosing on shit that shouldn't be. I hate that I let it become routine. It's too much pressure for her rn. I shoulda let her come to me when she was okay to. It would've helped a lot more. But my dumbass introduced the stress of routine and made her feel bad for sometimes not being in the mood. I know she's prolly feeling guilty too. It breaks my heart bruh

I miss knowing what all she took and helping where I could. I wish I could go back. She has enough to stress on as is. I hate that she's pushing me away again. Not knowing specifics makes me so nervous. She barely even answers texts at this point. She had some health shit going on and I ofc thought okay well it doesn't need to be some long ass convo to be otp ima just ask and check in or her. But I'm still in the dark. We don't call everyday anymore, she's hiding all her health shit going on cause of her pill concoctions, and I can tell something's on her mind. I'd assume something bigger from how hard she's tryna shield it

I tried everything atp I don't know how to get her back. Im so scared and I don't want her suffering in silence because I got too overbearing. She's probably so fucking annoyed by me

I hate her partner. Full heartedly atp. I get it. Sometimes you say stupid shit and I know my bsf has done the same. But ghosting her through all this. Letting her beg you to just talk to you. Fucking dragging out a fight knowing damn well how destructive R is. She demands so much from R and what has she changed in returm? What has she done for R??

Want more time with her? Done. Dropped me within the week

Want to move in together? R's working damn near 7 days a week and tryna either have two jobs or aome side shit just for more to save

Don't like lip piercings? R won't get em even though she seems interested

Want to see her irl more? Before yall pressed pressed about moving in she was planning on not only going for her birthday but her partners too AND possibly Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And what as she changed in exchange??? I HEAR THE SAME OLD SHIT WVEYTIME YALL FIGHT BRUH

Honestly. Fuck that. I don't even care about specifics. Even if she did change all that shit, I'd still hate her for ignoring her for this long and being nothing but cold knowing it hurts. So manipulative. Why would you go out your way to hurt your partner if you do really love them? She has and had sooo many opportunities to speak her mind and move through this but nah nah let's just let my fucking pride keep us apart.

R deserves so much better. I wish they never met. I can't believe she still gets the short end of the stick even when she's proven over and over again she would do literally whatever for you. Literally in so much pain just from not getting to fix things. I hate it so much. She doesnt realize how much her effort is worth. Its so sad like. She could find sooo many people that would reciprocate all that love and care and some off how loyal and selfless she is ALONE but she had ti get stuck with the one dumbass that can't see her worth

She is so fucking stupid. Utterly and completely. There is literally no situation where she'd be in the right for doing this atp. None.

That's not really all but.. ranting about their relationship shit is never completely satisfying. I'd go on forever not thinking nothing of it sigh

I wish I could call her tomorrow. I know she ain't doing too great but I could take her mind off shit for a little. Plus I know I can usually tell if somethings bothering her. I hate that I'm just. Here.

And I miss her background noise. I'm so used to talking shit with her brothers with R dying and tryna join. Or her twin yelling over THEEE most bland games ever. Or hearing all the outlandish but tbh sensical shit she be lecturing R on

I miss her in general. I love discovering new songs from listening to the music she got blaring from her computer, 9 times out of 10, Juice WRLD songs 😭

Btuh and all we'd be quiet doing our thing then she'll bust out with the Outlandish junk just cause

The rare but nonetheless 10/10 days where we talk for hours and hours til we either HAVE to go or one of us fall asleep mid way through whatever long ass story either of us end up telling. Its so cute cause like. Course I think everyone has a sleepy voice but she used to have the most random sleeping habits. And plus even once she did sleep, she'd mute usually. But it makes me feel good that she trusts me enough to like.. not think to hide it? I'm sure she'd probably be self conscious about it after the fact but I mean. At least for the time she was comfortable so I be cheesing cheesing

And her voice is constantly on my mind. I sometimes ask questions or annoy her just to hear her. Plus like I dunno. I've grown to associate her voice with comfort so just listening to her talking ahit about some random 12 y/o o when she play bloxfuits is enough for me to gave a good time. Plus she got about a billion diff voices for specific junk and those are always fun to learn.

Ah sorry I didn't realize how off track I got bruh rip. Point is I miss her and I'm so worried about her but I feel trapped as if I try tooooo often she'll be used to ignoring my calls. Plus if I only text there's a possibility she'll either be sleep or will just ignore

Sigh. I wish I could fix everything for her. She doesn't deserve all this nonsense

[amwritingmeta]

Do you ever just kind of worry about destiel and the show? If it'll never be cannon if all the stuff we speculate about won't come around? If they all just die? It's probably just me and my anxiety. :/-C x

Hello, my lovely!

I can honestly tell you that I don’t worry about Destiel, or the show, at all. 

Here’s why --> these writers know their shit. 

They know it so well that they’ve built a narrative that is so strong, so even and well-balanced that it feels like it was all planned from the very beginning. I believe - as do many many more of you - that a lot of it - a LOT of it - was there from the start and it was there for a reason. 

Dean’s bisexuality

The brodependency

The love story

The three big narrative strands that have run like thick red threads for all the years the show’s been on air/for all the years Cas has been a part of the narrative. 

The love story happening by coincidence is either bullcrap and they held an actual chemistry read between Jensen and Misha and that’s why Misha got the part over Mark P (maaaakes seeeeense toooo meee) or they lucked out with Misha being an immediate match for Jensen, people responding to their onscreen chemistry and it leading to Misha’s previously small number of episodes (I’ve read and heard he was supposed to be in “a couple”, three, four and six, so no one seems to know exactly how many it really was - not even Misha himself, who keeps saying a different number as well) and the positive response from fans and critics alike prompting the writers to play with the chemistry to the extent that the love story grew organically from it.

Either way: fucking brilliant.

Either way: this love story is integral to the narrative at this point, because it informs Dean’s character growth and even impacts the brodependency arc by giving Dean an incentive to finally let go of Sam and allow him to stand completely on his own two feet. The incentive, of course, being that Dean is in love with someone and has grown enough to contemplate making a life with Cas, should Cas want to.

12x22 and 12x23 gave us turning points.

Dean: blasted down walls both literally and metaphorically, with a grenade launcher and then by confronting Mary

Sam: finally got Dean putting his full faith in his abilities, bringing Sam to lead, properly and on his own, for the first time

Cas: protected Kelly against Lucifer while trying to keep the brothers out of the fight, but had to die because he still - after everything - had chosen to follow a Higher Purpose that he should question and reject (he’s not learned his lessons yet)

Because of these thresholds I have faith in a positive endgame on the horizon. 

Dean’s bisexuality is poised to be addressed in S13

The brodependency is poised to lapse completely in S13

The love story is poised to benefit from these New Beginnings in S13

So these emotional touchstones, that they’ve always built the narrative on and had it circle around, are not only present in what must be up ahead in S13 (or they’re going against their own setup and that would make no sense when they’ve been so consistent for over a decade) but these emotional touchstones are as integral as ever.

That’s why I do not worry one bit about Destiel or about the show itself. :)

This said, am I sure we’re getting everything we hope for and want? 

Nope.

I have a long wish list for S13. I have speculation that is quite detailed about what I would love to have happen in S13. I have fanfic in my head that go into even more graphic detail of what I’d want to have happen in S13 (I’m in the process of writing this down so however unrealistic it is that we get Cas and Dean in a shower together at least it’ll be on black and white). 

But for all the fun I’m having trying to get an actual sense of where they’re going to take it, all I’m really certain of is that it’s a rainbow and pink/purple coloured wondrous place, shining, shimmering, splendid! And I honestly cannot wait to see how they present it to us!

[phoneismybf]

TharnType The Series Ep. 7 Review

"You two looks so close now?" Techno. Yes, they are Ai No, officially.

#TharnTypeEp7 #TharnType #TharnTypetheseries

"Type, you already have a girlfriend?" Champ.

"Why should I tell you?" Type. Still can't believe it hah? Lol.

Techno knows naturally. He is so cute for being unsure and badly want to make his assumption is true. And you got the answer. I believe he got a goosebumps at the same time. Hahaha. Moreover, they were really fast on getting the new dorm. Don't want to spend more time in the old one, right? Hurring get the new one so Type can scream more louder. (oops)

P'Klui - P'Seo..... I guess they know exactly what was happened in the next room. Yes, they fought a lot and a also "fought" a lot. Lol. Of course you are right, P'Seo, thick wall will reduced any loud sound including a scream. HAHAHAHA (WHY AM I SO CURIOUS ABOUT TYPE'S SCREAM? HOW SEXY IT IS? OOPPSS. No, private property only, belongs to Tharn). And the news is P'Seo like P'Klui.... I knew something is odd.

Haven't watch the episode? Check on here, TharnType Ep.7 Eng Sub

Seems you already knew well your bf Ai Type, don't you feel grateful for it, do you? Dad already know how close you are. Good things to be noted.

What a bullshit, I really hate you with all my guts. Type... Then he smiles in blush. Please....... I can't handle this kind of boyfriend. Bad mouth but so adorable. A proof that is why Tharn so in to him. I might too... Bro, envy you.

Park? Oww he is Kom. Lol... Hi! how are you? You are the last person who made a chaotic situation in 2 Moons 2. Different role man... Totally different role... Ok, sorry. Hahaha, still he is cute though.

Hey Mr. ... You get in to a wrong line. I can understand why Type still hate gays. In previous episode he said to Techno that he still hate gays excapt Tharn. May be he thinks all gays are the same as the person who harassed him but Tharn is a gay that he have been experienced with a good treatment and he has good personalities. That is why Type only feel comfortable to Tharn, the only one gay he really knows and.... Loves.

Now I feel bad for the girl. I'm sorry but not every man knows who like him easily May. And it was so long for holding that feeling and at the end you got nothing from it. I know it's hurt, but we can't force someone's feeling to love us back.

I don't like someone get in to my room and take a look at my staff like Tum did. You are unforgivable. But those paintings always make me sad... Tar is deeply shaken.

Yet, his words are f*cking irritating. Yes, I know you still hate the other gays. But they are also human who have feeling. You can being prejudice but be careful. Not all the gays are bad, some of them need help, friends, lovers, even parents. They also want to be loved, cared, friend, usefull in the society. I'm really want to know what Tharn will say in this situation since he is an open minded and mature, feel bad for Kom to hear all of them. I totally agree with Kom, you already said what I want to said to Type. Don't be sad Kom, we have the same situation, we both want at least our best friends know and can understand this matter.

Even though they can't understand at least we want let them know because it's so frustrating to keep it all alone and they will know how to react to us later on or ruin the relationship. Well we don't care, why? People won't even care others' problems except their own. That's why we just want you to only know who we are so you can behave. Hit the guts man... Even I still don't receive any response from my best friend about this. They are just think and act like nothing happen, so f*cked up for all I and they've been doing for being poker face every time we meet. Yes, we are really sorry for being a gay. Sorry, spoiling a personal matter, LOL .... Let's continue... I can see, Type is feeling bad and confuse right know and questioning "what the hell with these people?", the right question is "what f*cking hell with you bro?" come on you have a boyfriend just think how he would feels if you always being like this. I care about you, Tharn care about you, we care, you were forgiven because you are adorable. HAHAHAHA...

Yes, cing cing lau, you are so hot. Hahaha. Type always says what he wants but not for the cheesy things, he always keep for him self. He prefers saying assh*le to his boyfriend and keeps the words missing him. If I'm Tharn, I would never know just guessing that his bad words mean some carings. Yet, we are audiences and was provided the scene behind Tharn. We know that Type is very cute for missing Tharn by that behavior.

Type should talk first to Kom before going. It's very sad knowing that we lose one of our bestfriend without having a good talk. I hope they can make up someday so he can introduce Tharn to Kom.

A text can meet them in a minute. A very sprightful boyfriend. And I think his family know he is a gay, do they?

F*ck, now I cannot see this scene. Since the preview, I shooked for seeing him wearing that oversize shirt. For me it is kind of sexy, or maybe it is the second thing for Tharn that Type not only sexy when he screams but there are more. Moreover, Type said the shirt is the welcoming gift. WTF... What did he think? What did he prepare? Can't clear my mind. (avoiding lag connection, restarting soul, I need not only mind but also soul to be ready for this, Type is way too ADORAB... AD... ADOR.... BLE.... ADORABLE)

I CAN'T STAND THIS, I no WE ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO WATCH THIS, WE CAN'T SEE OTHERS DOING LOVY DOVY BECAUSE WE WILL FEEL LONELY. LOL. DONE IT IS DONE. TOO MUCH KISSING AND ALL OF THEM WAS TOOOO LOOONGGGGG. TYPE WAS SUDYODDD NA... WAY TOO GREAT WITH THOSE ABILITIES TO FEEL THE TOUCHES. NO OTHER COMMENTS, I WANT TO OWN HIM. LMAO. Kidding na, lolaen...

This is a serious problem. When he is not ready, you can't forced him. Because everyone's opinion and way of thinking are different. I'm at Type's side na Tharn, sorry. Even though I admit that I like you but this coming out matter is never been easy for me though. Please be patient, I know Type has been thinking about it. "Hoping for the impossible" is my wish too. Where is the tanning line you mentioned Ai Tharn? Lol. I barely can see that Tharn dosen't like raw food that is why he ordered grilled one instead. But I think Type didn't realize about it. I even thought he has an allergic but not.

Hahahaha, the same saleswoman. I can't hear her explanation. I don't want to hear. What squeaky sound is that P? Yes, you can try to sit on it one by one Type, incase you know which one is the right one for both of you. This P'Sun, who is this actually?

Sometime Type is innocence, he just knew Tharn's birthday and asks him directly in no time if he has a free time or not. See, Tharn's family knew. He invites Type to his birthday party with his fam. What? He came out at 12 grade?! I can't think how his family reacted to him at that time. He was really brave and so much young for this. I want to be a member of the royal family, please. Be patient Ai Tharn, Type is not ready yet. He trys to accept every condition he is doing now. But, Tharn's reason to invite Type as his birthday gift is kind of cannot be refused. Yes, Type, you are his now. What did Type wishper to Tharn then? It caused Tharn smiling like that. God..... Those kisses, I shouldn't watch them.

Okay, next spoiler is P'Sun. What will going on, next week? See you later.