#hopefully you can recognise the references

[polterwasteist]

Anthony's Funeral Halftime Show but make it Ianthony (part 1)

[dunmeshistash]

Hi, so recently there was a dunmeshi signing (?) event with Ryoko Kui in Korea. And I have found some posts from korean fans about their experience and a bunch of illustrations. @Dgae_715 is the acc on twitter i have found most of information from reposts. But basically here are the most relevant facts that I have found (Please note that they may be inaccurate due to me relying on online translator):

A fan asked if post canon Falin will live longer, Ryoko Kui basically answered “maybe so, right?”

The same fan asked if Thistle without desire will able to live happily with the care of others, and as far as I got she said “I hope so”.(Note: I am really not sure if I got this one right at all) The fan themselves said the way Ryoko Kui answered was rather unprepared, so she may not have an answer in mind really on such specific questions.

Another fan asked how Mithrun is in post canon, Ryoko Kui said that he is doing well, working and pursuing hobbies.

Somebody asked Mithruns about strength, he is weaker than a soldier, even though he is got the fighting skills, but he developed them mostly because of his sense of professionalism (?), rather than for fighting.

Past Mithrun didn’t really fight that much, he was mostly an investigator(?), he rarely had to fight in the rear(?) units.

Apparently Falin’s chimera form can get oily, so she repells water a bit

In real life, Marcille would be a med school research student, while Laios would be a “furita” (basically a freelancer with no stable income)

Someone said if Ryoko Kui considered a bad ending for Falin, and Ryoko Kui said she, as an author wanted a happy ending, but in case of Falin, she was worried after the ending (14 volume or later?), but overall she thinks it turned out well. (I think the after the ending refers to her post canon fate, and maybe thats why Ryoko kui did an extra on that specifically later on) 8. Also someone asked if Ryoko Kui would eat the dishes from dunmeshi, and she replied she is a picky eater, and she also said to someone that she drew dishes that she liked and disliked in dunmeshi (I bet she doesnt like fruitcakes).

(Note: There is a 90% chance I got this completely wrong, translator was struggling a LOT here) Someone asked about what Laios is good at, she replied “when he is a party member”. 9. She also likes Lord of the Rings and Wizardly 6(?), and she likes Skip and Loather

When asked about what word definies Laios, she said he is actually a normal/usual person(?). I have lost the post with this specific answer, so I am going by my memory;-;

Some fan showed her that picture with Tennant Chilchuck, she didnt recognise the actor unfortunately. Also apparently this meme originated from Korean dunmeshi fandom???

There were other questions and answers too, but they mostly about Ryoko Kui. And I also may have forgotten to add some;-; Also some fan suggested to Ryoko Kui that Falin in the real life should be a dentist by the way she makes them drool(????I think they meant it in non-sexual manner, like an excited dog), they kind of laughed about it. Also Ryoko Kui drew Falin the most(?) for signing postcards, other characters, and only 5-6 Senshis, 2 Winged Lions

Anonymous asked: The same anon with Korean sign event ask. I knew I forgot something, but basicaly some fan showed Ryoko Kui the day dream picture that most of fandom presumes to be a Chilchuck’s wife and asked if its true, she answered “Its up to your imagination”. So basically neither no or yes

Thank you! I LOVE SKIP AND LOAFER WEEEE

Hopefully we get some more corroborating translations for the bits you're not sure!

[kirbyoctournament]

🌙 Welcome to the Kirby OC Tournament! 💫

CURRENTLY: VOTING IS CLOSED!!!!

the oc tournament is back again this year, and will be hosted by @starflungwaddledee and @moonverc3x!

this is a fun and friendly popularity contest for kirby-verse original character designs and their associated stories or lore. competitors can submit their characters to the competition during the submission period, after which characters will be matched randomly together in public polls for voting!

there will also be a second-chance bracket, to allow folks voted out early to continue playing and participating in the contest. polls are open for anyone, competitors and spectators alike!

in between each match-up, competitors can create artwork "propaganda" for their characters which will be shared to the blog! getting your character in front of voters will help people to recognise and care about them, and can increase your chances of getting votes-- as well as new fans-- for your OC!

🗓️ schedule of events 🗓️

submissions open: april 8th see below for how to submit your oc! submissions close: april 30th brackets announced: may 10th voting begins: may 13th bracket length: 1 week break length: 2 weeks each voting bracket will last One Week with public tumblr polls on the @kirbyoctournament blog. there will be a week between polls to give competitors time to draw up additional propaganda! depending on the size of the first bracket in particular, poll posts may be staggered over several days. if this happens, the break week will begin after the final poll closes.

🥳 how to submit your oc 🥳

Submissions are CLOSED as at midnight of April 30th. to submit your oc (only one oc allowed per participant!!), simply make a post on your own blog introducing your character with art and/or any lore you'd like to include! make sure to tag the @kirbyoctournament in your post (please do not submit via the ask box.) despite being an oc centric event, you can include canon characters in your OC backstory and propaganda. here is a template for submissions, but this is just a guide and you can deviate from it as necessary! if you want to write a lot of text, consider putting it under a 'read more'! Name: Reference Image/s: Notes on Personality (optional, but preferred!): Backstory and Lore (optional):

remember, this is a friendly competition, none of you will get hurt!

if you have any questions, send us an ask! (please do not dm either hosts, the askbox is where you need to go with questions!)

🔗 useful links 🔗

kirby oc tourney discord server. here you can chat with other competitors, mods, and get pinged when polls are posted! current confirmed competitors list. if you've tagged the blog in your submission post you can check here to make sure we've got it! Though, please allow us 24 hours after submitting your oc for them to be added before contacting us! We are doing our best to keep things up to date, but we cant be online all the time! tournament brackets here you can check to see who your oc is paired up with! polls a fast pass to the polls (2024) tag!

🌑 mod disclaimer 🌟

@moonverc3x and @starflungwaddledee are cohosting the tourney to make sure it runs smoothly this year and so that the event can hopefully bring some joy and interaction to the kirby oc tumblr community, but we also always wanted to compete. because this is a popularity contest with public voting and all pairings are 100% randomised, we don't think this gives us any sort of advantage, and all propaganda will be posted on our private blogs like everybody else's. however we do just want to be upfront about it!

[not-xpr-art]

Len and Tommy's life told through nine photos ~

A fanart based on the Inside no 9 episode 'Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room' because I loved it so much!

(09/2024)

See below for close ups and unnecessarily detailed explanations of each individual artwork lol

First wanna say that I spent wayy too long on these (like 25+ hours), especially trying to make them look like actual old photos lol... also trying to get their likeness right for the various ages was really bloody hard lol, but hopefully each photo has the essence of each character even if it might not look 100% right pfft...

Second thing is that the dates & locations are very much my own subjective thoughts on their life and not particularly rooted in the canon of the show lol

Also I did go really heavy with the colour symbolism lol...

Ravenhill School, 1965.

The year they met, both are around the age of 10 (give or take). Len is 3 from the left in the top row, Tommy 2 in from the left on the bottom row (also I tried to include references to the other 2 League Of Gentlemen guys... Though I think the only vaguely recognisable one is Jeremy pfft)

Also shout out to @lapis-lazuliie for the idea that they met at school!

(side note, this is the least detailed of all the paintings not just because I was too lazy to render all those children's faces pfft but ALSO because of the significance of them being less recognisable or prominent in each other's lives in this point...)

I was planning on making another childhood/early teen photo but couldn't really think of any good subject matter that could also fit thematically with the episode (also the fact both are coming from poor families who would have had limited access to cameras in this era means we can just pretend that there are just no photos that really exist of them at these ages pfft...)

Photo booth in Leeds, 1974.

Both in their late teens, they'd (well, mainly Tommy) gone to a photo booth in Leeds with the intention of getting some professional looking photos only for Len to immediately make Tommy laugh once they got in there lol

The middle photo is covered in lines as Tommy had planned on throwing it away, only to find he couldn't bring himself to do it in the end... Is it platonic? Romantic? Both? Who knows, you decide lol! I mainly wanted it to be a candid moment between two people that love each other lol

(final one is them play fighting because that's kinda just what 19 year olds are like pfft... also I think photo booths technically gave you 4 photos? so let's pretend there was another photo that they did throw away for whatever reason lol...)

Rehearsals, 1979.

Deep in the midst of practising their routine for some of their first performances!

I'll admit this photo was mainly me wanting to include something more episode specific lol and also to get in some much needed heavy handed symbolism (the crease in the photo separating them, the bottle in front of Len's face, etc)

Polaroids taken at Tommy's flat, 1985.

In-between shows the two often spent a lot of time at Tommy's place (featuring that god awful sofa the previous home owner had left). I did originally plan to have them in the sofa shot together, but was finding it hard to figure out who would have been taking that kind of photo so figured it made more sense to make it shots they took of each other.

Also marks the beginnings of Tommy's weariness (& Len's over drinking...)

Outside the Glasgow Pavilion, 1988.

The morning of that fateful performance...

Ok not much else I wanna say about this other than the reference I used for the pose had Reece sorta awkwardly clasping his hands in front of him which I really liked but unfortunately in my art it just looked like he was trying to cover his crotch so I had to change it pfft...

Tommy standing at Len's grave, 2024.

The sixth anniversary of Len's death, and the sixth time Tommy has travelled across from France to lay flowers at his grave. Photo taken by Leanne from the inside of a taxi (I'd like to have had more references to her in these photos but was unsure of dates/ages where it would have fitted...)

She couldn't get her phone to not focus on the raindrops on the window as she tried to take a picture of Tommy at her father's grave but then realised that she actually liked the pathetic fallacy and had it made into a print anyway lol (look I'll be the first to admit that this is the least 'realistic' in terms of a photo that people would take, but I couldn't resist the symbolism of it lol...)

There were a lot more ideas for photos I wanted to do but for obvious reasons had to keep it to just 9 lol

Also will be posting these on my ao3 with snippets of stories to go with each photo so keep an eye out for when I share that link!

[jesswritesthat]

Bokuto Kōtarō: Anatomy

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~0.8k, fluff

• Being a manga artist is hard enough but the panic sets in when someone thinks they know your muse.

Warnings: 1 swear word.

>>>>——————————>

"This is very good, you always manage to demonstrate attractive muscle on this character."

"Well, it's basic anatomy right?" A weak defence on your part really, but your editor righteously continued with his honest justification.

"Hm, yes but you must have a reference, this is wonderfully detailed - no wonder he is so popular."

“Maybe it's his personality…?"

"Everyone knows his personaity is vulgar, but the abs of a villain are not." Happily, he returned your work, assuring that you ‘keep it up’ prior to entering his office.

That was a general commentary you received when submitting chapters to your editor anyway.

However this new guy was not your usual manga editor, instead a stand in, but as long as you had your issue in on time you didn't have to worry much. Your work was in Akaashi Keijis’ hands now, and hopefully the latest chapter and illustrations would be approved with minimal alterations.

Still, you wondered if that would be the case as he sat on the floor of his apartment with a sceptical expression painting his features.

"I recognise this."

His muttering voice snapped your attention, looking to him with perplexity as you were originally expecting a comment on the fact you'd hand-delivered the issue to his door.

"I'm sorry Akaashi-san?"

"This villain of yours, he feels familiar now that I really look at him. You put a lot of care into this character?” The man calmly elaborated, showing you a page of your manga that depicted your villain with torn clothing.

Admittedly, your mind had drifted to how such a thing was possible considering this villain of yours was 'one hot piece of sculpted ass' - solely according to the readers of course - you supposed you dedicated time to him to upkeep that opinion.

"You think? Doesn't every manga heartthrob look as good as this."

"That's not what I meant."

Shit.

“Anyway, if there’s anything you’d like me to change please let me know by the end of the week. Thank you and have a good day!” Never had you got out of a door quick enough, thoughts spiralling with questions. Could he recognise him? There was a specific reference you used. Did another manga artist use the same one? Crap crap crap.

—

Naturally you found yourself rushing to a certain someone’s home at the crack of dawn the following morning, hopefully well timed to catch him after his morning run and workout (if they were completed he couldn’t invite you to go this time).

"Kōtarō! You're not allowed to walk around shirtless anymore!"

"Huh?" The athlete hadn’t a chance to welcome your presence, instead standing dumbfounded with a towel to his hair and form fitting long sleeve runner top unfairly complimenting his sculpted physique.

"Or in a vest!"

"But—"

"Or shorts!" Yes those too, he currently made basic volleyball shorts look good.

"Then what am I supposed to wear?!"

"A massive fluffy jumper or a ski suit, I don't know."

"In summer?! But I'll smell worse than the changing rooms after running in that..."

"You’re right, maybe I should be the one to avoid situations..." You pondered for a moment, the flattening strands of the Spikers hair allowing extra motivation. "I'll visit less frequently, and cut out staying over!"

"No! I'll make the sacrifices to wear stupid fluffy clothes if it means you'll continue to stay! I'll do anything for you (y/n)!" Solid hands grasped your shoulders to emphasise his sincerity even as you tried to elaborate.

"That's not—"

"Can I know why though?" It was fair request, and in all likelihood you were going tell him anyway.

"..."

"..."

"My temporary editor has commented that I put a lot of love into my manga villain illustrations..." You breathed, embarrassment clearly evident but this is not what your owl had taken from the conversation.

"You love someone else?!"

"No! I love you but..."

"The 'but' is very offensive!" Again he yelped, pushing you away at arms length whilst maintaining his hold on your shoulders.

"YOU'RE MY MUSE IDIOT!"

"Eh?"

"My villain, his body anyway, is almost an exact mirror of your own." You sheepishly confessed, Bokuto tilting his head curiously with those pretty eyes of his.

"Uh..."

"Kōtarō." It was a frustrated mumble, ultimately influenced by you having to explain such an intimate detail. "You're my inspiration, I can draw you effortlessly even as someone else. Featuring part of you in my work makes me enjoy it far more."

“Oh I get it! Thinking of you during a match always motivates me more too but it doesn’t bother me if my teammates mention it.” He gladly added as a way to relate to your dilemma which lead you to hopelessly smile at him.

“Alright, maybe I was worrying over nothing. It’s not like you even know my editors or anything.”

“Exactly!” He issued a thumbs up, happy to see you more relaxed. “I can take off my clothes and freshen up now right?”

With a playful nod, you couldn’t help but admire him when he removed his top, hair fluffed up and a wrinkle to his nose.

That’s when someone walked right in, apparently having keys to Bokutos’ home which had already piqued you’d interest. Naturally Kōtarō threw an arm around you and offered a bright smile to the visitor.

“Hey Akaashi!”

Immediately you paled, your world crashing down as the painfully familiar editor quietly looked to you, then back to his shirtless Ace.

“Ah. That’s why I recognised him.”

<——————————<<<<

[sylus-wife]

I can't seem to get lucky enough to see that line again where sylus says "beasts don't belong in a cage" in destiny cafe, but besides that, I think that how sylus views himself is one of the most interesting parts of his character.

throughout our journey with sylus and in the anecdotes, we often see this reoccurring theme of beasts or "taming", like how sylus tamed his horse in no defense zone, and how he offered to take the man's dog out on a walk that had issues with people other than its owner in wander in wonder, and especially how he chose to tame the dragon instead of killing it in adventure above clouds. I personally think that sylus often finds himself sympathizing with these animals who are viewed as "troublesome" or "beastly" by other people, as he often also has to, or have taken in the past, the burden of being the "beast", whether it is others who label him as such, or if he purposefully takes on a terrifying demeanour as a means to an end.

^^ an example of this is when he frees the beasts from the overlords artificial garden, and during this anecdote, we can see some short details of what sylus is thinking during this time regarding the feelings of the caged beasts. when he frees them and recognises their need for vengeance against the people responsible for imprisoning them, it's like sylus is saying: "the ones who have been treated as monsters desire the blood of their wrongdoers. what did you think was going to happen after keeping them locked away for so long?" here, sylus is the beast, recognising his other fellow beasts, and his form of vengeance is granting them freedom from their isolation, and allowing them to take their own vengeance against their wrongdoers instead of doing it for them.

sylus is actually way more sympathetic than people give him credit for, especially towards animals, as he was also caged and treated as such, like how he was imprisoned in tartarus. I also think that when his myth drops we will also see this reoccurring narrative tool being used again, since the form that we vaguely see him take in the flashback to MCs previous life with him IS terrifying and beast-like. this appearance that he has took (which is sort of suggested to be his true form due to the multiple references there is of sylus directly saying that his current body isn't real) could possibly be what led him to alienate himself from everyone else, as people are naturally terrified by beast-like creatures and want to keep them locked away where they are isolated from everyone else.

and with the whole "taming" thing, I just think to myself how much he trusts MC?? like, it is also a reoccurring narrative tool in sylus' story where taming or some sort of bondage is involved, and I otherwise wouldve thought that sylus would hate the idea of being bound with how he desires control, but then here he is throwing himself at MC whenever a situation of him being bound by her or TO her is involved, as if she is the only one who can tug him by his leash and he'd willingly follow. honestly he's like a big guard dog..

overall, I think sylus has a tendency to objectify himself as a result of many things, such as his reputation as a beast, his lack of self-preservation due to his indestructible (as far as we know) body, and how he insists on how MC should use him to her advantage. I also love his relationship with animals and it is sometimes upsetting to see how MC thinks that sylus is incapable of extending kindness to others (though she does not think this anymore since she has developed a deeper relationship with sylus and has a better read on his character) and I hope MC can be beside him on his journey to hopefully put an end to his self objectification or at least find ways to get him in a healthier mindset and have a better attitude about himself 🥹

[py-dreamer]

remember that post with the blumin ghibli costumes where RS was the Baron?

Remember that dance scene in the cat returns?

Yea so I did a lil something something...

Its very niche and such but I personally really liked the concept

It was very fun drawing Xiaotian in like western princely wear, fairytale prince-esque. I was just fully self indulgent this time, gave him a crown, the earrings, the Cape, the collar, trimming, cloud buttons, the works.

Props to the masculine version of underkeep Frisk for Mk's design! Bit of a flashback to the past with that undertale reference eh?

(Does anyone else recognise underkeep? If not, I really recommend to just see the gorgeous character design with similar themes to this piece!)

Drawing red son in the Baron's outfit was so much fun! In particular, that feathered hat which matches their fluffy tail. Also, I actually searched up masquerade Bull masks as inspector for RS's mask and knew I wanted to make the horns longer as a sort of crown for his actual horns.

Lighting was also a fun new take with an intense spotlight and harsh shadows! Hopefully I was accurate enough...

here's an unshaded version so you can see the outfits more!

I don't actually think I'm going to turn this into an actual au, it's more of a fun one shot really, but one I had a lot of fun with!

Also @cats-and-confusion,@leesbian42,@violetjedisylveon,@cryptidwithaninternetconnection and @people who want to join!

What would you match your favourite lmk ship, duo or dynamic with what ghibli ship, duo or dynamic?

Reblogs > likes

(Click photo for less sh!tty quality)

[elthadriel]

If you're still taking requests, I'd love Codex and 💕 kissing somewhere other than lips please

The sound the emergency comm makes is referred to in official documentation as a chime. Rex would like to shove a chiming comm up the ass of whoever made that decision.

The comm's screeching jerks Rex awake, and he's half sitting up before he’s even aware of why or that he can’t actually sit up due to the body slumped across him. Cody wakes in the same second as Rex. 

Cody snarls a foul curse that he only seems willing to use in the first five minutes of being awake and hauls himself up just enough to fumble in the direction of the self by the bunk.

“Yours or mine?” Rex asks.

“Yours,” Cody announces. His smug delight is somewhat undercut by the fact it’s delivered as more of a sleepy mumble . Rex’s comm hits his bare chest followed closely by Cody who attempts to nuzzle back into the warm spot he just left.

The comm’s pale glow is blinding in the dark. Rex squints into it, the words slowly settling from blur to proper letters. Rex is needed in a holocall. Promptly.

Rex closes his eyes and pretends they can stay closed. It’s an unforgivable hour in the morning, and he’s exhausted. The bunk is warm and Cody is sprawled on top of him, almost too hot where their bare skin has been pressed together for hours.

He breathes deep, Cody’s head rising on his chest. 

“I have to go,” Rex says and opens his eyes. Cody makes a sound into Rex’s skin, which Rex chooses to interpret as sympathy.

There’s no reasoning with Cody at this hour so Rex doesn’t bother trying, extracting himself from under Cody who impressively manages to convey bloodthirsty fury despite his refusal to open his eyes or form any recognisable words.

“I love you too,” Rex mutters. He drags himself over Cody, managing with only minimal success to avoid kneeing him in the back; it would be easier if Cody was capable of being at all cooperative when freshly awake. 

Rex dresses in the dark, pulling on blacks and then his armour. Cody grumbles at the sound, expanding out to take over the slither of the bed he’d graciously allowed Rex to have all to himself.

“You get to go back to sleep,” Rex hisses. “Stop complaining.” 

Cody grabs Rex’s tragically abandoned pillow, shoving it over his head. He rolls onto his side, putting his back to Rex. If life was at all fair, Rex would be able to climb back in next to him.

Hopefully this call won’t mean the 501st and 212th are separating again so soon. 

“If I’m still here by—” Rex stops. There’s no point. Now Cody knows he’s not getting up, he’ll be most of the way back to sleep. He won’t remember anything Rex tells him.

Rex finishes strapping on his pauldron, fingers finding the buckles through practised memory even in the dark. It only leaves one remaining order of business.

Rex lifts the pillow off Cody's head. Cody’s eyes scrunch up tighter and he twists, mashing his face into the other pillow. Rex would laugh if it wouldn’t get him kicked, if not now, later. That Cody would remember. He kisses Cody’s temple and is rewarded with another sleepy noise of complaint.

“I hope yours goes off too,” Rex says. 

Cody puts every second of his intense training to use. Fast as a Kodashi viper he snatches his pillow back from Rex’s hands. The way he slams it back over his head can only be described as violent. 

Rex rolls his eyes and finally leaves Cody to sleep in peace.

Hopefully he’ll be back soon enough. 

[thehopelessromanticclub]

THE KISS CAM

Pairing : Jeon Jeongguk x Y/N

Genre : Fluff, dating au

Word count : 1k

Summary : you appear on the KISS CAM but with the wrong person…

Weekends…

There was nothing special about weekends. For you weekends were boring. It consisted of you munching some potato chips, binge watching Kdramas, living up to your name of night owl. That was it. That was the end of it.

But that was until Jungkook came along, your boyfriend of 6 months. Weekends never felt so amazing…

Loving him was so easy…

It felt so natural…

He was shy. He was tired and messy hairs. He was oversized clothes and ripped jeans. He was whispers at 4 am. He was the smell before it rains. He was the love of her life. A love she never expected would be hers. A love so pure, that it feels to good to be true.

Author’s POV

Ding Dong

“Coming…” you yell loud enough for the entire neighbour hood to hear you before making your way to the door to open it.

There he was standing looking handsome, dashing, cool, amazing as ever… Words were never enough to describe him.

“Ready to go?” He enquired before complimenting how beautiful you looked. He always does that. He’ll call you beautiful even if you were ugly-crying some moments ago. He’ll call you beautiful even if you just woke up and ur face is all swollen up. You were always beautiful in his eyes.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You chimed in making sure to lock the door before you left.

Jungkook had been so into baseball recently, that he convinced you into going to one of the matches that was being held today.

Time skip

“There, that’s our seat.” He said pointing in the direction of two empty seats, both of you making your way into the direction.

The whole stadium was packed with tons of people. More than half of the population wearing their representative team’s uniform. It was spectacular.

“Y/N, is that you?” You heard a familiar voice beside you, hitting your eardrums, which made you turn your head in the direction.

“Yijoon?”

Hwang Yijoon, or more like your crush during high school. Although you did have feelings for him, but that was a thing in the past. As they always say, first love is never successful.

You grew up, your feeling changed. Both of you lost contact owing to the new chapter of adulting in your respective lives. You both got busy in the marathon of growing up.

You’ve told Jungkook about Yijoon once when he inquired who was the guy in your graduation photo, with hearts drawn all over him. Yes, it was you who drew the hearts, your only means of expressing your love for him.

“Omg, Yijoon-ah, how long has it been?” You were beyond ecstatic to meet him.

“I almost forgot about your existence.”

“Well, that was harsh.” He said placing his hand on his heart.

“You grew up so much Y/N, I almost couldn’t recognise you without your braces and bangs.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You laughed swaying your hair.

Both of you got so busy in catching up that you never realised the game had started and that you had a human being accompany you today.

Jungkook’s POV

“Sigh…” this is the umpteenth time I have been sighing.

I’ve been trying so hard to concentrate on the game but all I can concentrate is on them. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but it is her CRUSH being referred here. HER F**KING CRUSH.

I so badly want to go and sit between them and tell that guy, “hey dude, we are on a date, and if you don’t mind I’ll have my girlfriend to myself.”

Author’ POV

“Umm…Y/N? Who’s that guy? He has been eyeing us for a while now.” Yijoon inquired.

It was at this moment, she knew she f**ked up.

You quickly turned your attention towards Jungkook giving him an apologetic look.

“Yijoon, meet Jungkook, Jungkook, meet Yijoon.” You quickly introduced both of them.

“Hi, I am Jungkook, Y/N’s boyfriend. I’ve heard a lot about you from Y/N.” Jungkook gave a strong handshake to Yijoon, asserting himself, jealousy clearly visible on his face.

“Hopefully good things.” Yijoon replied.

Before you knew it, it was break time, or should I say KISS CAM TIME.

Numerous couples appeared on the screen, many of them eventually giving in and kissing, all the while, kiss me more by Doja cat played in the background.

“Aww, they are soo adorable.” You squealed clapping your hands, looking at couples on the screen have the time of their lives.

But that was until you appeared on the screen…

With Yijoon…

Oh shit…

You crossed your hands indicating you and Yijoon are not together. Yijoon even tried pointing at Jungkook. But no matter what, the camera wouldn’t budge.

Now even the crowd started chanting, “ kiss kiss kiss….”

That was the end of it. That was the final straw for Jungkook. He pulled you in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft. Our lips were madly in love and married. It didn’t involve tongue. All that was involved was love and longing. Longing for each other.

You could hear the crowd cheering and clapping in the background. But that was all white noise. All that mattered in this moment was you and him. It was your moment.

You pulled away after some time, running short of breath. Your eyes met his.

“Your face is soo…..red. Are you fine?” Jungkook quickly made sure to check your temperature by placing his hand on your forehead.

“I’m fine.” To which he nodded. You could feel your face pulsating, adrenaline still in your veins making a run for it. Conclusion- you were blushing.

“Y/N, you should know you have good taste in men.” Yijoon whispered beside you.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

https://www.tumblr.com/stagefoureddiediaz/762753972313440256/now-convinced-that-ramon-used-to-have-a-stache-and?source=share

I actually love this idea, but it feels like it's delaying his coming out again😭 I don't want another sudden article popping up out of nowhere with Ryan saying Eddie is straight😅

(I'm feeling quite elated and calm after the episode, but I can sense a new spiral incoming soon, lol)

I very much doubt we’ll be seeing another one of those articles - Ryan has changed the way he talks about Eddie and relationships - he’s clearly stated he’s working on himself through 8a and has switched to gender neutral pronouns when referring to potential future romance.

The stache will be gone in episode 6 and in reality a massive chunk of Eddie’s ability to accept or confront (or whatever descriptor you want to use) his queerness stems from the Helena of it all - that is the part of Eddie’s queer journey that is going to be the most difficult, angsty and heart breaking. I say this because Eddie figuring out who he is without Chris is about Eddie figuring out who he is full stop - he was around 11 when he got pushed into this pseudo husband and father role by Helena - that’s. Th rage that you really truly begin to figure out who you are and that was denied to Eddie. So Chris is a small fraction of that Eddie figuring out who he is - he cannot figure out his queerness until he actually accepts Helena has messed him up and denied him the chance to become who he truly is. He is still in denial about it but I think hot priest and (hopefully) Maddie can help him with that.

Eddie going to church - trying to find it in religion but actually finding Hot priest - who in the same way he helped bobby see where the root of his issues were can help Eddie See Helena is the root of the problem.

Maddie can help him because she has a similar experience - she was denied much of her childhood and forced to grow up and look after Buck because her parents weren’t. For her that led to an abusive relationship whilst for Eddie it led to his continuing poor treatment and gaslighting by Helena and to the poor treamtment of Shannon. So she is ideally placed to help him with some of that really difficult stuff (they also parallled them in s5)

Once he’s recognised it and begun dealing with it it will take some time to untangle and process etc but it can be done in 6-7 episodes (they did his breakdown in fewer - technically 5 from point of actual breakdown) which then leads him into a queer arc for a few episodes and gets him to his coming out - however that looks - around the end of 8a - which is where most of us expected it to fall along with chris’s return (although early 8b also works for this) - with buddie canon in early 8b.

Basically the timeframe hasnt changed just the order in which he deals with things and the size I’ve the various aspects - mommy issues bigger chunk queer aspect small chunk because Eddie’s actually wrestling with the thing that prevented him from knowing and accepting his queerness rather than the being queer itself. It’s great representation if it plays out this way!

[starsandgutters]

Kevaaron Mind meld/telepathy/mind reading sounds very intriguing if I can request one still? Hope you’re having an amazing day!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

—💖💖

Hello I’m still chipping through requests just 🥲 y’know 🥲 actual job and half marathon training eating my time, how DARE ! 😤

4. Mind meld/telepathy/mind reading [read on ao3]

I made this a Misfits AU so I didn’t have to come up with any logical or scientific reasoning for the telepathy hehe (if you’re unfamiliar with Misfits it’s a show where a load of young offenders get superpowers from a freak storm and each week get into Some Shenanigans involving said powers - also the power you get is based on a regret or character flaw. Like the guy who gets invisibility feels really overlooked and left out, or the guy who has the power to go back in time was a really promising athlete who made a career destroying mistake and wishes he could undo it. You don’t really need any previous knowledge for this - that’s just some fun bonus context!)

Due to the nature of this AU the content warnings are a bit mad this time lmao

CWs: Discussion of food/eating habits/implied disordered eating/food criticism Okay this one is WILD as a CW because it is not explicitly what it says but I HAVE to warn anyway - Implied non-consent, including between family members (this is only in one brief flashback of Nicky’s power, and it is stopped before anything happens. Nicky is also unknowing and unwilling as he wasn’t yet aware of his power) (hopefully if you read my writing you trust me enough to know I’m not throwing in a Macauley twins style twist) Brief mention digit loss (non permanent) References to violence in the Nest (waterboarding, SA, Nathan, Riko breaking a Kevin’s hand) References to Aaron’s trauma (child abuse, drug use, bathroom rehab, Thanksgiving) Non explicit sexual content

“Can you stop talking to me about exy right now? Practice is over. I no longer care.” 

“I need you to care. We have a game this week-”

“And so I will care on Friday.”

“Aaron!”

“I have an important assignment due before then. Do you care about that?”

“It’s different.”

“Right, yeah. Different. As long as it’s only important to you.”

“No. Exy and school are separate. I do far more training than you and still get better grades.”

“You do a humanities subject,” Aaron hisses, turning sharply on his heel and poking Kevin in the chest. It always irritates him when Kevin mentions his better grades. “It is easier to get better grades in, and you’re just barely doing better than me.” 

“Excuses, excuses.” Kevin gives Aaron a shove in the chest to send him back. Aaron glares at him. 

“Watch me try even less in exy,” he says, and Kevin lurches after him. Aaron reaches up to grab his hands before he can shove him again, and they’re so busy tussling they walk right into someone. Aaron jolts as he gets a static shock. From the way Kevin leaps back, Aaron guesses he also felt it. 

“Oh.” The girl stumbles back, looking up at them with big dark eyes widened in surprise. Her water bottle has fallen from her hand. 

“Why on this whole path were you right in front of us?” Kevin snaps in the few seconds it takes him to remember he is Kevin Day. Aaron is already ducking down to grab her water bottle for her.

“He means sorry,” Aaron says, glowering over his shoulder at Kevin. His face softens fractionally when he looks back to the girl. “We weren’t paying attention.”

He hands her bottle back to her and she gives him a timid smile.

“That’s okay,” she says. “Easily done.”

She glances between the two of them, and her smile grows. It makes the skin on the back of Aaron’s neck tighten. He wonders if she’s recognising who they are, but she just side steps out of their way.

“Have a fun night.” She walks off swiftly, giggling to herself. 

Have a ‘fun’ night? Fuckin’ weird choice of words, but okay. Can’t believe this asshole couldn’t even get an apology out before she left.

“You already apologised! Why would I have to do it too?”

“What?”

Aaron winces as he feels something in his head. Like a pulsing shape of irritation. A cloudy, dark area of his brain taken over by it before it melds back into what feels like the normal shape. 

“You said I didn’t even get an apology out.”

“No I didn’t.”

Does he think I’m stupid? I just heard him.

Aaron can hear Kevin’s words, but his mouth is not moving. He blinks, then narrows his eyes, staring hard at him. What the fuck?

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

Oh for fuck sake, I don’t have time for-

“Stop playing.”

“Kevin!” Aaron reaches up and grabs Kevin’s face in his hands. Kevin tries to pull away, but Aaron holds tighter. 

His hands are always so cold what is he doing now what is-

Kevin. Look at me. Do you see my mouth moving?

What is he talking about?

“No. So what, this a new trick of your power or something?”

Is that music? Why can I hear music? Where is that coming from?

The music is coming from Aaron, who never manages to hold just one thought at a time. Even as he is trying to think direct messages at Kevin, there’s a background list of everything he needs to get done tonight before he goes to bed, an absent pondering about what he’s going to eat when he gets back to the dorm, and whatever song is currently stuck in his head playing random fragments on loop. 

Kevin. Focus. You’re hearing the music from me.

“I didn’t say-” 

Anything. You didn’t say anything, you thought it. As I am thinking this. (Fuck his jawline is so sharp I swear I could cut my palms on it) That’s what I’m trying to get across. 

Wait. Stop. Slow down.

“Seriously? You’re hearing my thoughts right now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

How?!

I don’t know man probably more of this weird storm shit. It’s always powers (power, power, I still need to get a better grasp on mine before the next game or I’m going to-) when something starts acting up isn’t it?

“Why are yours so fast?”

I don’t know that’s just how I think (fuck was I supposed to email that back today I think so did I actually do it wait yes I did it before-) it doesn’t feel fast to me

“Can you stop jumping around?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you’re thinking? It’s like multiple voices at once.”

“Yeah, but I just focus on the main one, the others are background noise most of the time. Like thoughts I think without really focusing on them.”

He’s insane.

I’m not insane! It’s not my fault you’re too stupid (his eyes are so fucking green in this lighting) to keep up

“Why are you thinking about my eyes?”

“What?” Aaron feels himself immediately flush.

There it is. The Aaron Minyard blush. Adorable.

“Shut up! I’m not adorable.”

“I wasn’t- Aaron, you can’t just hide when you don’t want to have a conversation.”

Aaron looks down at his hand, but all he sees is the ground. Fuck. His power kicking in without his control again. He looks up at Kevin, who is glaring above his head. Heh. Go invisible and he suddenly thinks I’m taller. (God please let this be only a Kevin thing if I have to hear what Andrew thinks about Josten I’m going to kill myself, and I don’t even want to think what Nicky-)

“I can still hear your thoughts, Aaron. You can’t really hide.” Seconded on Nicky. Maybe we should stick to this so people don’t think I’m a weirdo talking to myself.

I don’t want to (he didn’t mean it like that he was being a dick obviously get over yourself) talk to you anyway 

Aaron takes off at a swift stride back towards the dorm. He’s happy to find that just as if Kevin were calling after him, the voice in his head gets quieter the further away he moves. 

Don’t be childish. Aaron? Aaron! Have you left-

Realising this, Aaron tightens his grip on his bag and starts to jog. His body is already aching from practice, but the desire to escape Kevin Day is a great driving motivator. He runs until the only voice he can hear in his head anymore is his, and as he slows down to catch his breath, his body flickers back into visibility. 

*

Kevin makes his way back to the dorms in a mood. Thankfully, he does not hear the thoughts of anyone he passes on his way there. Which means either this only works for people he knows, or it is tied specifically to Aaron. Aaron who he just thought was adorable. Kevin needs to try and keep a lid on thoughts like those if Aaron can now tune into his frequency. Thankfully Aaron took it as an insult and did his little invisibility bit. Kevin’s not sure what he would have said if Aaron had confronted him about it. How can you lie when someone’s in your head?

As per evidence found in (god I’m so tired I wish I could go to bed my body actually hurts with it) we can draw the conclusion that (and my eyes are burning wait shit I forgot to eat when I came in okay no don’t stop stopping is the enemy just try and get three more paragraphs finished food can be your reward) these findings suggest (that’s a waste of words you already implied that) 

Kevin hears Aaron’s running internal dialogue as he makes his way up the stairs in Fox Tower, growing louder the closer he gets to their dorm. Of course Aaron was so focused on getting to his work he forgot to eat. If only he applied that focus to exy.

Get out of my head Kevin.

Get out of mine.

He hears some mental grumbling from Aaron as he tries to pull his attention back to task, but there’s a background insecurity running beneath his thoughts now of Kevin might still be listening don’t think anything weird don’t think that either he’ll be wondering what weird things you think about oh my god stop. Kevin has to really focus to pick it up beneath the chaotic mess of Aaron’s other thoughts. He doesn’t understand how he can exist with so much going on in his head, but slowly Kevin is learning that if he does just focus in on the main thought, the others sink more into background noise. 

For his part, Kevin is thinking about this week's game as he goes about the kitchen making himself dinner. He’s pulling up stats in his head, marking weaknesses, implementing potential strategies. He’s already got notes on it all, but he’ll run through it countless times mentally before they actually have the game. As he makes himself up a salad, he pulls out a second plate and makes Aaron a sandwich, using some of his salad for the filling and then adding cheese and meat from the fridge.

“Are you trying to keep me out of your thoughts or do you really just think about exy nonstop?” If so that is so sad.

“Shut up.” I made you a sandwich.

You made me a sandwich?

Yes. You forgot to eat. Now you can keep working on your assignment.

“Oh.” That’s uncharacteristically nice of him (does he want something is this a bribe-)

“It’s not a bribe. I just think you should eat, especially after training.” To aid recovery.

“Thanks.” You know if you want to aid recovery (he never eats enough) you really need protein and some carbs (I don’t know how he keeps going) to replace what you burned (I wish he’d take better care of himself)

“I take care of myself.” Take better care of myself than you do. I eat healthy 

Healthy food is only one part of diet you still need to eat enough

I don’t remember asking for your commentary on my diet

Yeah I’m not giving it (I’m just worried about you idiot) you’re just listening to my thoughts 

You don’t have to worry about me

“I don’t.” I can’t help it

“The stoic act doesn’t really work when I can hear what you’re thinking.” I like that he worries about me oh he’s blushing again

“Fuck off.” FUCK OFF! Aaron turns bright pink and then disappears. He reaches out and lifts the plate, taking his sandwich and walking back to the bedroom. The plate appears to float from Kevin’s perspective. Aaron slams the door behind him. Stupid annoying Kevin let him starve for all I care (he made you a sandwich) I can’t deal with this (he wanted you to eat too) this is supposed to be the one place that is mine and now I can’t even have my own brain (it sounds nice when you hear his thoughts all low and close and intimate-) Stop.

Kevin feels a shiver of heat in his stomach. A sudden flush of arousal from nowhere, like hot wax dripping down over him. He shifts his shoulders as if he can shrug it off, shaking his head and sitting with his salad at the island. He’s trying to focus back in on exy but all he can think about now is Aaron, and the flush running down his neck, and how he wants Kevin to take care of himself, and how apparently he likes hearing my thoughts.

Get. Out. Of. My. HEAD!

Kevin winces at the sudden volume blast, but it doesn’t stop his train of thoughts. Thinking of how this would be so good if they were together. How Kevin would be able to get immediate feedback on Aaron’s response to his touches. He really should not be going down this track, since Aaron can hear his thoughts, but the more Kevin tries to think of something else the more he thinks about Aaron beneath him, his mouth to Aaron’s throat, his fingers-

The door to the bedroom slams against the wall with the force it is swung open. Kevin jolts. The doorway is empty, but he can almost see the ominous aura coming from around Aaron’s invisible form. Or maybe he can just sense the irritation in his thoughts so clearly it seems like that.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hears the words twice, spoken and thought, and Kevin panics. Shit shit shit he knew Aaron wouldn’t appreciate it if he knew Kevin was harbouring those kinds of thoughts about him, but he never thought Aaron would actually know. “Kevin.”

Air catches in Kevin’s chest. Everything constricts. The panic of his anxiety a sharp, tight sensation, except then there is a drop in his stomach, and oh. Not just anxiety. His power kicking into play. Kevin feels himself fall backwards. When he lands in time again, he’s back on his feet, and Aaron’s sandwich is floating away from him. The bedroom door slams. (it sounds nice when you hear his thoughts all low and close and intimate-) Stop.

Kevin feels the same warmth drip over him, but this time he immediately brings up an old game on his laptop and puts on his headphones. It doesn’t fully silence Aaron out, he still catches snippets of his essay here and there, and the other random seemingly disconnected thoughts he bounces between, but it’s easier to make it background noise when Kevin has his own attention focused on something else. 

When Nicky comes back and starts moving around the kitchen, Kevin slides one earphone off and listens to him chatter. He looks at Nicky’s face. His mouth is definitely moving. Those are the only words Kevin is hearing. 

Seems to be just Aaron. Then Kevin tries to aim his thoughts towards the bedroom. He has no idea if this actually works, but he visualises it anyway. Can you hear Nicky?

Just you. Distracting me. Again.

So you don’t want me to tell you he brought pastries that you both should absolutely not be eating at this time of the night.

The door to the bedroom opens. Aaron is visible once more and has changed into his pyjamas. His hair is a ruffled mess from where he’s been running his hands through it in stress, a gesture Kevin has seen him do countless times, and he’s wearing his glasses. He looks soft and ruffled and painfully adorable. Aaron flips him off, ears turning pink again. 

“Aaron! I got apple turnovers,” Nicky says, and Aaron beelines around the counter, nudging Kevin with his elbow on his way past. Aaron holds his hands out demandingly. Nicky sets the box on the counter and carefully slides it across to him to avoid making any contact, as Nicky’s power is touch activated, and absolutely not the kind of touch he wants to use on his cousins. There had been a whole thing before he realised what it was, involving Andrew attacking him when he accidentally touched Neil, which had turned to… 

Well. Considering Andrew’s power is also touch activated, it had not been good. Neil had been dazed when he broke free from Nicky’s power, and Kevin had been stunned by the whole turn of events. Only Aaron, overlooked and invisible in the background, the first to realise there was something up with them, had been able to use his invisibility to his benefit and break them apart before anything went further. Nicky had cried, and Andrew had disappeared for a full night and most of the following day with Neil. Nicky had tried to apologise on their return, but Andrew shut him down and refused to talk about it.

“Do not use that on anyone else,” he had seethed, teeth bared, and Nicky tried his best not to. An accidental brush of skin was usually recoverable, people would just glance his way with interest, but if Nicky got a hold of someone or vice versa on bare skin…

Kevin doesn’t really know what the official name for Nicky’s power would be, but basically whoever is in his thrall becomes very determined to fuck him. Whether Nicky wants them to or not. His power does not come with an off switch. 

After Andrew stormed off and Nicky hid himself in his room confused and upset, Aaron had reappeared with considerable frostbite on his hand. Aaron blinking into existence weirdly seemed like the least upsetting part of the evening, but it had taken too long with everything else happening, and he ended up losing two fingers to the frost damage. 

Which activated Kevin’s power. So the next time it happened - and really, Kevin could have lived with only going through that night once, thanks - he was able to draw attention to Aaron before Andrew left. This meant Andrew could drop them at Abby’s on the way to wherever he was going. He did not speak, and he did not apologise for almost freezing Aaron’s hand off, but the fact he took them when he clearly just wanted to get as far away from everyone as possible immediately said enough. 

Shouldn’t be eating those, Kevin thinks chidingly, but he keeps his mouth shut. Aaron glares at him as he bites the corner of his.

Mind your business (oh god that’s good)

Kevin is the one to flush this time. He feels his cheeks heat, though his skin tone hides any outward sign of it, at least. Nicky is saying something to Aaron but Kevin isn’t paying attention past Aaron’s fucking mental foodgasm, apparently. For someone so stoic, Kevin would not have guessed there is so much going on under the surface.

You know what they say about assume. Aaron glances sideways at Kevin as he licks cream from the centre of his apple turnover. Kevin’s gaze locks onto the flash of pink tongue as it pushes between the layers of flaky pastry. The hint of green from his tongue stud. There’s sugar crystals on Aaron’s top lip. He drags his tongue out, cream on the tip of it, and Kevin’s mind of course leaps to various other scenarios. Aaron abruptly lowers the pastry, looking at Kevin with an appalled expression.

What the fuck-

Jolt in his stomach. Feeling of falling. Still in the kitchen with Nicky and Aaron, but a handful of seconds back.

Oh god that’s good

Kevin turns away from Aaron before he starts licking cream this time, closing up his laptop and gathering his things, done for the night.

“Do you want one, Kevin?” Nicky shakes the box at him. Kevin shakes his head.

Coward

How am I a coward for not wanting to eat that sugary abomination?

You just are (worry about how bad his eating is going to get when he’s alone)

There’s nothing wrong with my eating and I’ll have a meal plan when I go pro anyway

Whatever (will anyone actually check if he follows it)

Kevin flicks Aaron in the forehead as he walks past him. Aaron ducks away, then bats at Kevin’s hand, too slow. 

You are so annoying

Kevin ignores Aaron and goes to get ready for bed. He’s already tucked in by the time Aaron and Nicky come through. Nicky collapses into his bed and crashes out fairly quickly. Kevin’s usually the same, but tonight he has to deal with Aaron’s constantly overlapping trains of thoughts.

Did I pack for the right classes tomorrow? (Will Katelyn want to go to the library between classes?) Pretty sure I checked (wait what day is tomorrow) maybe I should go for a run in the morning (calves kind of aching after practice, might help) Hope my stupid power doesn’t activate during this week's game (what am I supposed to do if it does) ugh wait tomorrow is Wednesday session day (wonder if Andrew will even look at me this week) 

Can you shut up?

Not talking

Is this why you’re always up so late? How do you ever sleep when it’s all so constant

Usually just hit the point of exhaustion and pass out

That can’t be healthy

You’re one to talk

I sleep!

So go to sleep now and leave me alone (should try and sleep eyes are burning was so tired earlier why can I never shut off when I want) 

Aaron.

It’s weird when you do that

What?

Think my name right in my head. Weird.

How is it weird?

Just feels weird. Kevin.

Yes okay I understand.

Kevin Kevin Keviiin (kind of weird that we just make noises and those are our names and we respond to our unique set of noises)(and that there are so many dialects and languages and how they developed so differently)

It’s interesting

Yes (can you imagine if everyone had telepathy)

That sounds like a nightmare

Absolutely 

This is unideal but out of everyone on the team I think having this with you is probably the best scenario. It would be helpful to have this kind of communication with Neil on the court but otherwise I would hate to know what’s going on in his head

Oh yeah god no. I do NOT need to know what that freak is thinking about 

Especially since a lot of it would probably be about Andrew-

Stop. (might be interesting to know what Andrew is thinking but if I had to hear about Josten-) Shut up. (wonder what he thinks about me) Shhh shh shh. (probably don’t want to know)

I don’t think Andrew would think anything bad about you

Go to bed (probably doesn’t think about me at all)

I’m in bed

Then go to sleep 

I would if you’d stop thinking so loud

Can’t help it

Yeah. I know.

Kevin rolls over to face the room. He can’t see Aaron in the dark, but he hears the shift of Aaron’s bed, imagines them rolling to face each other. He closes his eyes and lets the cotton warmth of sleep start to descend over him. It takes longer than usual, Aaron’s constant stream of thought an irritating background radio frequency, but Kevin tries to extend out the tired feeling in his head until eventually he drops off.

*

Weird images are flashing across Aaron’s mind. He’s somewhere dark, and there’s a glow of red lights which makes it look even darker. He doesn’t like that. He’s following long corridors, trying to find his way out, feeling like he is trapped in a labyrinth. Every time he opens a different door, he sees something he doesn’t want to. 

He opens one door. It’s a bathroom. Jean Moreau is under a flow of water. Riko is holding his hair to keep him in place. He puts a cloth over Jean’s face and Jean’s body convulses as he tries to breathe. Aaron staggers back out of the room. He races down the corridor to the next room. He can’t see in this one, but there are hands on him. He does not want them to touch him, but he has the knowledge that he has to let it happen whether he wants to or not. Aaron fights his way through to another door and stumbles into the corridor again.

Neil Josten is in the third room. That is what Aaron thinks at first glance. An older version of him. But then he realises that there is a younger version of Neil standing beside him, along with a younger version of Riko. So the man currently slicing someone up must be his father.

“Keep watching, Kevin. No looking away,” a voice says, and Aaron’s head snaps back to face what is happening. He wants to cry but he knows if he does he will be punished, so he has to fight it back until later. He can cry when he is alone. That is what he is supposed to do, but there are tears on his cheeks as he backs up towards the door. He doesn’t make it this time. His foot catches on something and he falls backwards, and then Riko is coming towards him, Riko is standing over him, Riko is slamming his foot down on Aaron’s hand and the pain explodes through him, but worse, worse is the knowledge that he is losing everything.

Aaron gasps awake trembling, sweat sticking his shirt to his back. He’s breathing hard like he really has been running. Dim morning light leaks into the room. Nicky is sleeping soundly beneath him, but across the room Kevin’s usual heavy breathing has been replaced with soft sounds of distress.

Kevin. Kevin. Kevin!

Aaron hears Kevin jolt, the start of his own gasp before he muffles it off with his hand to his mouth. Aaron’s limbs are still shaky, but he’s starting to feel steadier now in the knowledge it wasn’t his dream. He’s just getting secondhand effects. Kevin must be feeling much worse. 

Riko-

Riko’s gone. You’re safe. You’re at Palmetto. Jean is safe. He got out, he’s with the Trojans. Everything is okay now.

The blood my hand-

Your hand is better now. You’ve trained back the strength in it. You can play with it again. You won your first championship with the Foxes playing with it, remember? You scored the winning goal

Yes

Yeah (that was horrible does he still have nightmares like that often no wonder he’s so anxious)

Not that often anymore

Thank you

It’s okay (was all of that real) 

Yes

Even the bit with Josten’s dad?

Yes

That’s fucked up

Yes

Try and get more sleep

Don’t know if I can. Do you want to go for a run?

(not really) Okay

You don’t have to

Let’s go (needs the distraction want to make sure he’s okay tired but always tired anyway)

Aaron drops down out of bed. He has so much to do today. He tries to build a mental to do list as he staggers sleepily around the room, pulling on his running gear. Kevin is still shaken from his nightmare. Aaron keeps getting brief flashes of his thoughts, more images and feelings than words this morning. He bumps his arm against Kevin’s as they head out, letting Kevin set the pace and falling into place beside him.

Always starts off too hard he’ll lose his breathing

Shut up. Kevin is in fact wheezing already. One handy thing about this new connection is they can easily pass thoughts back and forth without having to slow their pace.

Why don’t you go back and stop him? You can do that now you could save your hand

I can’t choose. Can’t control it. I don’t know if I can go back that far, but I also don’t think I want to

No?

If it didn’t happen would I still be stuck there? Would Neil have died if he hadn’t joined the Foxes? Would I spend my whole life stuck in Riko’s shadow?

Seth would have lived

Kevin stumbles. Aaron catches his elbow, steadies him. Kevin jerks away.

That wasn’t targeted at you it was just an automatic thought (don’t be mad) I know Seth wasn’t your fault (don’t yell at me) if anything it was Josten who aggravated Riko but it’s all on him Kevin not you 

I know. I wonder sometimes if I could go back and stop that but then would anything play out like it did? How much more do I fuck with the further back I go?

Do you wish you had a different power?

Sometimes

Which?

Something useful like super speed could be good. Would make me better on the court

Oh my god Kevin we’re talking about superpowers and you’re thinking about exy (of course he is)

What about you?

Shapeshifting.

Why?

Taller (so I could be my own person) (and who doesn’t want to look better) (I mean the height wouldn’t hurt) (would Andrew be offended if I changed the way I look) (maybe people would like me better maybe you-)

Right. Of course.

Invisibility is okay (if I could control it) I mean it’s an A list power (people don’t really see me anyway) could be worse (at least it’s not Nicky’s)

Yes I definitely would not want Nicky’s

I think it would be the worst (do most people not want to fuck you anyway)

Not that I’m aware of

That you’re aware of. Aaron gives Kevin a wry side glance. He’s Kevin Day. Of course most people are tripping over themselves for him. Kevin just socialises within a distinct circle that keeps him separate from most of that. Free of anyone who wants him that way. (almost free)

What does that mean?

Nothing sometimes my brain just thinks random words get over it (fuckfuckfuck) I didn’t realise

What?

The extent of the Nest. I knew it was bad but I guess there is no way to describe that kind of thing in a way that catches how it actually feels

Those were only snapshots

I know

I wish you hadn’t seen that

Didn’t mean to (would I want anyone to see-) Aaron’s own memories flash across his mind without permission. His mother lashing out at him, throwing things at him, a bottle shattering against him, a knife sticking in a wall, his tiny child body being shoved so hard into a glass table it breaks beneath him, the pain of his sliced back. Swallowing pills until he felt so sick he was convinced he was going to die. Holding his own over earnest letter with FUCK OFF scrawled over it, returned from Andrew. That first meeting under the too stark fluorescent lights of the detention facility visitor room, Aaron’s fingers picked bloody, Andrew’s narrowed eyes, him reaching across to grip Aaron’s already aching wrist as he asked about the bruises Aaron had failed to cover well enough. Puking his guts up while trapped in the bathroom, sprawled on the ground trembling, curled tight into himself in the tub once again thinking it was over. Walking into that room on Thanksgiving. Alone in the back of a cop car not knowing if Andrew was alright or what was going to happen to him. On the stand, facing a crowd of unfamiliar faces. Stop stop stop stop stop.

Aaron

Don’t look! 

Aaron you’re thinking about them I can’t help it

I’m not thinking about them (not on purpose) I don’t want to think about them (stopstopstop) you don’t need to see this (he’s already been through enough with his own)

“Hey.” Kevin stops running. He catches Aaron’s arm. Aaron yanks away from him, but realises that he’s breathing harder than usual. He doesn’t know if he’s sharing Kevin’s anxiety or if his own flashbacks have caused his chest to tighten. 

What?

“It’s okay.” You don’t always have to worry about me. 

“I’m not.” Can’t help it (breathe just breathe you’re embarrassing yourself) 

“Aaron.” It’s okay

“You’re shit at the comforting thing.” So am I

I think you’re quite good at it

“You don’t have to be fake nice.” Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop. “Come on. We should finish this run.”

“Aaron.” Are you okay to run?

Yeah I’m fine (you can’t say “jar” I didn’t say it out loud)

Loopholes

Exactly loopholes (breathe just breathe focus on it count your steps breathe out when the left one hits the ground)

Thank you for coming running with me 

??? it’s okay (is he feeling better?)

Yes. I am. Thank you. 

Good (can I get him to eat this morning)

You concern yourself far too much with my eating habits

No I don’t (if you only knew how much I concern myself with- stop)

Aaron starts thinking about the lyrics of a song. He focuses on it as hard as he can, repeating it over and over again. Bad enough Kevin knows he worries about him not eating enough, he doesn’t need Kevin to know just how far Aaron is concerned with him. He tries not to have any other thoughts as they make their way back, but his brain has never been good at sticking to one thing. 

Still need to ask Kate about the library (if I can get five hundred words minimum done today) I need to do laundry (it would be great if I could get to one thousand but how likely is that really) awh shit session day (not likely at all then I cannot be assed with Dobson today) are we going to Columbia this weekend (god I want a hit so bad all this powers shit has me fucked up) really hope I don’t turn invisible during our game (or during class) probably the only time anyone would notice (fuck hope it doesn’t happen at Dobson’s office) my lips are dry I wonder where I put my chapstick

Is he going to relapse?

“What? Of course I’m not.”

“You were just thinking-”

“I think a lot of things. Do you control every thought you have? I don’t act on it. That’s what counts.”

“Okay.”

Should I tell Andrew-

“Do not tell Andrew. What is wrong with you?” Aaron abruptly stops running to glare at Kevin. Well that’s too long to get into, really, isn’t it, Kevin?

“Don’t be a dick.”

“Do you realise the fucking argument you would start over a stray thought. How about I police every stray thought you have?” Aaron steps closer and shoves Kevin hard in the chest, his whole body flush hot with rage. Kevin catches Aaron’s wrist before he can move away, holding him in place as he leans his sweaty face in close to him. 

“I wasn’t actually going to do it. That was just a stray thought on my side.” His eyes are always the nicest in the sunshine. Liquid gold.

Aaron goes slack in Kevin’s hold, blinking at him. His mouth works uselessly.

What.

Lips don’t look dry to me. They look soft and pink

Aaron automatically licks his lips.

Fuck. One more time. 

Then Kevin is kissing him, and the world feels like it has tilted sideways. 

Said I’d stop doing this.

Aaron’s free hand fists in Kevin’s shirt. His brain is still a loud neon scream of ??? and yet he’s not pushing Kevin away. 

Is he kissing back?

No. He’s definitely not doing that. Aaron finally shoves Kevin, stepping back from him. What is he doing (is this a joke) why is he doing it (I don’t understand) what does he gain from this (what the fuck) Despite the frantic, frightened tone of Aaron’s thoughts, his expression is furious

“What are you-”

*

“I think a lot of things. Do you control every thought you have? I don’t act on it. That’s what counts.”

I have to stop doing that.

“Okay.”

Doing what?

“Thinking stupid things,” Kevin says. Aaron’s mouth twitches, the knife edge of a smile that doesn’t quite make it over the precipice. Kevin focuses very hard on not thinking of anything even in the vicinity of the topic of kissing.

So, here’s the thing. It’s not that he intends to keep kissing Aaron and then reversing time so he forgets. Rather the opposite. Kevin has told himself he will absolutely not kiss Aaron ever again, as he never reacts well, and yet every time they get riled up, or in each other’s space, or Aaron looks at him all sleepy and soft, or anything that happened during any of the seven previous occurrences, Kevin finds himself leaning in. He feels like he’s going a bit insane, because sometimes he’s convinced Aaron is looking at his mouth, or he’s the one leaning in first, and on at least four of those occasions Kevin swears Aaron kissed him back, but then he always draws back with his flushed cheeks, narrowed eyes, angry eyebrows, and Kevin stumbles back in time before he even has the chance to hear what Aaron is going to say. 

He’s not running on purpose. At this point he’d kind of like to have it over with and out of the way so he stops ending up in situations where it happens again. Surely if Aaron gets really, truly angry at him once, then there will be a safe boundary between them going forward. Unless Aaron hates him for it, and stops talking to him, and this is exactly the line of thought that keeps triggering Kevin’s power. 

He’s thinking about it now that he’s alone in the dorm, everyone else out at afternoon classes. Aaron currently too far away to be prying into his thoughts. Except it’s a depressing line of thought, and his brain doesn’t want that, so it starts thinking about what would happen if Aaron did kiss him back. If Aaron kept kissing him, hands in Kevin’s hair, body pressed forward against Kevin’s hips - Kevin initially thinks of their hips pressed together but logistically this would not work with Aaron’s vertical challenges, so he shifts them to a seat where Aaron can straddle Kevin - strong thighs squeezing around Kevin’s legs, breath warm in Kevin’s mouth. 

Kevin checks the time. He should have at least a good hour before anyone gets back. He moves to the bathroom just in case, pushing his sweats down low over his hips. He leans back against the wall, thinking of Aaron again, lost in the fantasy. He’s thinking of how their telepathy would add to it. How Aaron gives so little away outwardly, but now Kevin has this secret window, he can see exactly how good he makes him feel. Because Kevin would, of course. It’s his fantasy. He can be the queen of exy AND sex if he wants to be. Then he’s thinking about Aaron’s power - anything Aaron has on disappears with him, but if he lifts something new it doesn’t - and wondering if he would be able to see himself if Aaron were blowing him. He’d be in the hot warmth of his mouth, but would it just look like bucking against air? As much as Kevin would absolutely rather see Aaron, it’s kind of a turn on to think about. He thinks about using his own power to go back and watch Aaron orgasm over and over again, luxuriating in the fact Kevin brought him that pleasure. Though Aaron wouldn’t really benefit, as he wouldn’t remember-

What the fuck are you thinking about?

Kevin freezes.

How can you hear me from class

Professor cancelled. There’s a bang as the front door slams closed. Kevin frantically pulls his trousers back on, even though it’s not like Aaron can see. 

Fuck fuck fuck 

*

Aaron feels ablaze. It had confused him why, as he got closer to the Tower, as he trudged his way up the stairs to the dorm, there was a building sense of arousal curling in his low stomach. Considering his only thoughts - beyond being fucking annoyed the professor couldn’t give them a heads up before he walked all the way across campus to his stupid class - before were that at least he’d have an extra hour to work on his assignment. He’s hoping to finish it up tonight. Except then there had been images of Kevin, and Aaron thought they were absent background thoughts at first. Irritating, but not entirely unusual. He has, unfortunately, been thinking about Kevin in that kind of way as of late.

Except it felt weirdly like he was in Kevin’s place in the thoughts. Rather than his own. Looking at a vision of himself that Aaron did not entirely recognise. His hair definitely doesn’t fall as neatly as that, or look as golden in colour, and he doesn’t have as many freckles sprinkled across his nose. His shoulders are not that broad, and there’s an awkward blockiness to his sides, not the softness of the version he was seeing in his head. Which is when it occurred to him that it was not, in fact, his own weird thoughts. 

Can’t just hide in the bathroom forever… can I? He’ll get bored eventually.

Kevin. Aaron thinks it because he does not trust himself to say it right now. His face is burning up. He presses a hand over it. This can’t be happening (oh my god) I can’t deal with this right now (and we have training in like three fucking hours) why was he (doesn’t mean anything) I don’t understand (can’t wouldn’t obviously) I just (why was it kind of) how the fuck am I supposed to (hot)

Aaron bangs his fist against the door. 

Go away

Open up

No. Go away. 

Kevin. Aaron bangs the door again, trying the handle. It opens. Kevin forgot to lock it in his… ponderings. 

“What are you-”

*

Kevin’s just sliding his sweatpants down when he jolts back in time. He pulls them firmly up again, splashes cold water on his face, and runs to be sitting in a normal position by the time Aaron reaches the dorm.

“Why are you just sitting in here in silence?” Did he have another panic attack after yesterday 

No

“Just tired. We need to do something about this.”

“About what?”

This. It’s not good.

Obviously 

We have to work out what happened and how to stop it 

“You’re very insistent all of a sudden.” There is something rotten (you want it gone too) at your very core (this is a good thing) and everyone senses it eventually (obviously why would you want to keep this) and no one wants to know you when they see the rot (think what happened before this started) and no one will ever stick around if they see the real you (we were leaving practice-)

“Aaron.” 

“What?”

That’s not true

“What’s not true?” We were leaving practice, and we were arguing. 

“You’re not- There’s not-” There’s nothing wrong with you.

How about you mind my own business and we don’t talk about things you hear in my head (and then there was the girl) WAIT !

THE GIRL !

Woah, that was weird

We haven’t thought the same thing at the same time before 

“She must have done something.” Felt like static when I touched her

Same

“How do we find her?” I don’t even remember what she looked like

Of course you don’t. I do we’ll just have to look around campus (really need to finish that assignment)

“Can you picture her in your head? As clear as you can remember.”

“Uh. Sure.” Aaron scrunches up his nose, and Kevin sees a girl take form. Her face shifts and melts and morphs as Aaron changes his mind about details. She has dark hair cut into a shag and big, dark brown eyes that are the central feature of her face. Narrow nose, thin lips, smudge of mascara under one eye. Kevin wonders if Aaron actually remembers this clearly or if he’s invented some of it. 

“Okay. You work on your assignment, I’ll go…” walk around and see if I can find her I guess

Is he the best one to handle this after being so rude to her

“Hey!”

“Well you were.” Didn’t even apologise (probably why she did this)

“That’s victim blaming, Aaron.” Maybe she shouldn’t have been right in our way. It was a big path

“Whatever. Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?” He gets so anxious

“Yes.” Maybe

Ugh I have time (a bit) I can probably leave my assignment to later (just stay up tonight) could look until practice

“No. I’ve got this.” Trust me with something 

“Okay.” Call if you need anything 

“Telephone or tele-pathy.”

“That was terrible.” At least he makes jokes now (his stupid dorky smile is so cu-) APPLE BOTTOM JEANS BOOTS WITH THE FUR (WITH THE FUR)

Ugh.

“Right. See you in a bit.” Kevin winces as Aaron continues to blast the song in his head, making his way towards the door. He jogs towards the main campus building and stalks his way through halls, glancing in the windows of classes, doing a lap of the library. He doesn’t even know what year the girl is or what she’s studying, so he has no idea of where to look for her. Over an hour later he gives up and heads dejectedly back towards the dorm.

No luck

Fuck (what if we’re stuck like this) it’s okay (I guess it won’t matter after he graduates) we’ll likely see her again at some point (but that’s a long time to have someone in my head)

Worry about it later. Get ready for practice now.

Oh fuck off

Their newfound connection, Kevin discovers, really serves them on the court. 

Behind you left shoulder

Aaron turns just in time to block Neil coming up from his blind spot. Kevin can feel the wordless burst of his delighted pride, and it makes his own chest swell, because Aaron is enjoying exy! He can’t hide. Kevin is there in his head, and he can’t lie about hating it all the time anymore. 

Yeah yeah. Quick turn quarter clockwise

Kevin turns and catches one of the freshmen trying to pass around him. He flicks his racquet against theirs with enough force to knock it unsteady in their hands. The ball falls loose and Kevin catches it in his net. He fights down a smile as his and Aaron’s thoughts overlap.

It’s like being able to see all around

It’s like having eyes in the back of your head

Think you can catch this?

No way you can send it that far

Go to your right I’m going to change angle last second

As several of the younger Foxes scramble to Kevin’s right, thinking his left hand will send the ball that way, he swaps hands last second and fires it down the court towards the corner that is left for him, but to Aaron’s right. Aaron’s moving before Kevin even passes, which gives him time to gauge the position of the ball and get himself in place. 

YES! Square your shoulders more before you pass again. Just like that. Yes

Stop mentally coaching me

But look how much better you’re doing

Kevin (why is it kind of nice when) stop it (don’t go there)

Kevin doesn’t stop, because his tips actually are improving Aaron’s game. In real time! He can deal with Aaron’s annoyed mental missiles if they are the price to pay. Aaron flips him off down the court. Kevin can’t see Andrew’s expression, but his head moves between them. 

Kevin makes sure he’s on the far side of the changing room to Aaron after practice, because if he’s too close he might steal glances, and if he starts stealing glances he is going to start having thoughts. Which Aaron can hear now. So Kevin decides the safest route is avoiding temptation. They elect to walk back after practice, ignoring the questioning way Andrew narrows his eyes, combing over the campus for the girl. 

Really need to finish that (so tired) am going to have to stay up (this has taken longer than expected) ugh morning class tomorrow should I skip that (no don’t want to lose participation mark)

Their fingers brush between them as they walk. Aaron yanks his hands back. Kevin looks down at him, Aaron looks back, his eyes shadowed underneath. He really looks exhausted. Kevin has always brushed Aaron’s bad sleep pattern off as a lack of discipline. He always thought he sacrificed rest to do his own unimportant nonsense, but he’s realising that Aaron holds himself to high standards in a different way from Kevin. That while he seems largely laid back about things on the surface, he’s a tycoon underneath, and that his brain never seems to stop.

Why is he looking at me (and what does that expression mean) what-

Kevin reaches up and touches Aaron’s cheekbone. He smooths his thumb along one of the dark marks beneath his eyes. He scrunches up his nose, trying to force his power into action, but he can never make it work when he wants to. 

He looks so exhausted if only I could give him time back

What is he doing what the fuck

Kevin slides his hand down and grips Aaron’s chin. He told himself he wasn’t going to do this again, but it is the only thing he knows activates his power everytime. This is a much more gentle kiss than the previous eight. Usually when Kevin kisses Aaron it is an impulsive, passion driven action, but this he does with purpose, slotting their lips together. It is a good kiss, even if it is much more chaste than a lot of their kisses.

Would have been a good first kiss

What the fuck (what does that mean) why is he (have you done this before) has he been turning back time

Aaron pulls back sharply from Kevin, and there is the familiar rage on his face. Kevin sighs through his nose as Aaron opens his mouth, but before he speaks, Kevin feels the familiar tug of his power. 

His lips are still tingling as he lands back at the court. Aaron is just about to turn down Andrew’s ride back to the dorms.

“Yeah, we’re coming.” Kevin speaks over him. We didn’t find her. Waste of time. You should work on your assignment.

Did you come back?

Yes

So you used your power on purpose? 

No it just happened

If she wasn’t where we checked we can look elsewhere (assignment can wait a bit I’ll just-)

No. We checked all over and you just got more stressed about your assignment, so take the time back and go work on it 

Okay

*

“Thanks.” That’s nice of him (why is he being nice what does he want) Aaron takes the steaming mug from Kevin, eying it suspiciously. It’s an old mug, chipped at the rim, the colourful print on it faded but still bearing the title of Scorpio with a scorpion and some traits listed beneath it. Nicky had gifted Aaron and Andrew them not long after he came back to the US, making a joke about how they were twins and yet he was the only Gemini. They had not laughed. Aaron doesn’t believe in starsign bullshit, but it’s one of the first things Nicky ever gave him. He hasn’t grown out of it like clothes or shoes. He always brings it when they move back to the dorms. 

“I can be nice.” Know you’re stressed just want to make it easier 

“Rarely.” I know you can.

“Almost there?” Heard you thinking about a conclusion

“Yeah.” Just need to read over it but should have it submitted tonight (hope it’s good enough)

I’m sure it is. Almost understand some of that when I hear it from your thoughts. Almost

Yeah well I’m writing with the assumption my audience already knows the basic terms so it’s not aimed at an introductory level (it’s okay if you don’t get it you don’t study this)

No, but I like hearing about what you study sometimes

I like when you talk to me about something other than exy

I like that you listen when I talk about anything other than exy

Yeah well there’s a brain in there somewhere

That gets better grades than you.

“Out.”

Kevin laughs as he leaves the room. Aaron cradles the mug to his chest, warming his hands from the heat of it. He breathes in the steam spirals, inhaling the scent of peppermint. Aaron blows on the surface, takes a sip, and then sets the cup down to type more. The warmth doesn’t leave him though, spreading out through his body, more than just his hands.

He feels less fondly for Kevin when Friday night comes. Weirdly, he also feels a bit high, a rush of adrenaline and excitement that is not his own coursing through him in the few hours before the game.

How do you still get worked up (passionate) after all this time (like that) it’s not even a big game

Every game should be treated like a big game, Aaron.

Aaron rolls his eyes, but once he’s on court, he does apply himself. Kevin has done small things to help him with assignment - giving him time back, bringing him tea - and so in return Aaron tries his best during their game. As annoying as Kevin’s barked commands in his head are, he follows them, and he acts as Kevin’s eyes on the far end of the court. Even though their positions mean they rarely interact on the court, it’s beneficial. Having someone with eyes on the action Aaron can’t always see. And when he is sitting out for a quarter, he is able to warn Kevin of movement on the court before it reaches him. There’s still an undercurrent of concern running through Aaron, a constant chant of don’t turn invisible don’t turn invisible don’t turn invisible. It’s a relief when the final buzzer blares out, the Foxes three points ahead. 

Kevin slaps Neil on the shoulder but ignores everyone else as he jogs down the length of the court. Ugh tired now (do I want to go to Eden’s tonight) wonder if we’re getting food on the way (probably feel better by the time we get there) we should I don’t want to cook (what if I think something stupid with drinking) maybe pizza (would like to blow some steam off though). Aaron assumes Kevin is running to Andrew, so it surprises him when Kevin charges into Aaron, tackling him into a hug. Aaron staggers under the force (ugh ow) before steadying himself (can’t really feel through my gear but how does he still smell so good even after-).

That was amazing! Think of all the possibilities of this, the kind of plays we could come up with-

We’re trying to get rid of it remember?

Yes but if we don’t.

Kevin, we have to. Aaron feels a wave of disappointment that baffles him. Surely he doesn’t want to be stuck with me in his thoughts forever

“Come on, we should go get cleaned up.” You’re right. 

Of course Aaron is. No one would want to be stuck with him, especially not when he can’t hide, when they can see right into his damaged centre. He tries to shrug those thoughts off as Nicky claps him on the shoulder. He’s always more affectionate with Aaron when they’re in their gear now, since it’s the only time it is safe for him to make contact. Aaron leans into him just for a second, knowing how much Nicky must miss affection. Nicky beams through his helmet grate.

They do get pizza in Columbia. Kevin’s in too good of a mood to argue. Aaron gets a vegetarian pizza so they can share it, and a warm glow of happiness radiates from Kevin through to him. It’s funny, because Kevin’s scowling face would suggest anything but. Aaron supposes they both are often hiding their true feelings from the world, intentional or not. 

Despite his concerns, when Nicky pours pre-drinks, Aaron joins in. He’s buzzed by the time they hit Eden’s, and has another couple of drinks before disappearing onto the floor. Nicky goes off somewhere by himself, dressed in far too many layers to be clubbing in, probably, keeping his skin covered so he doesn’t touch anyone. Lost in the press of bodies and loud roar of the music and flashing lights, Aaron’s brain actually stops whirring as much for once. He closes his eyes, tips his head back, and bounces along to the beat. He catches snippets of Kevin’s thoughts, but it’s hard to fully focus on them with the volume of the music.

So good… the way the lights… bicep muscles… peek of his stomach… hair sticking to his forehead with sweat… wish I could go dance with him… hands on his hips… mouth to his throat… pull him back against… 

Aaron shakes his head and tries to focus on something else, an aching twinge in his chest. Stupid. He shouldn’t care about whoever Kevin is thinking about.

I can’t… know exactly how it’ll end… said I wouldn’t… can’t do it a tenth time.

Aaron’s ears are ringing. His limbs are pleasantly achy and his skin is slick with sweat by the time they pile into the Mas. He’s in the back, Kevin relegated to the middle despite his long legs to act as a dividing wall between Aaron and Josten. Nicky gets front seat privileges due to his power now. A precaution.

Who caught your eye tonight?

What?

Heard you thinking about someone

Doesn’t matter. Why do you care?

I don’t. Just curious (curious curious curious sure)

Nothing is going to come of it.

Something could (who wouldn’t want you)

Just drop it, Aaron.

Aaron arches a brow, not appreciating that tone at all, especially inside his head. He’s too tired to poke at Kevin further though, shifting in his seat to try and get comfortable until Kevin thinks just lie against me and stop moving. Aaron rests his head back against Kevin’s shoulder, eyelids heavy, lulled by the gentle movement of the car. Still smells good.

*

THE GIRL I SEE HER (he can’t even hear you) SHE’S IN MY SIGHTS

I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS WHERE ARE YOU?

COMING FROM THE SCIENCE BUILDING TOWARDS THE QUAD

I WILL MEET YOU THERE FOLLOW HER

Kevin picks up his pace, putting his long legs to good use as he starts a swift stride, weaving his way through other students.

SHE’S SEEN ME SHE IS WALKING QUICKER

DON’T LET HER GET AWAY!

CALLING OUT BUT SHE IS IGNORING ME

ALMOST THERE

As Kevin finally makes it to the quad he whips his head around, eyes narrowed. He spots Aaron first - he feels like he will always spot Aaron first in a crowd - and follows his gaze. The girl is striding swiftly towards Kevin, but she hasn’t seen him. She’s looking over her shoulder at Aaron, who has broken into a jog. She turns forward, her expression panicked, and almost walks right into Kevin.

“You really have to start watching where you’re going,” he says. The girl shrinks back, clutching her bag. Aaron arrives a second later, breathing heavy. 

“We need to talk to you.”

Her name is Kiera. Aaron asks. Kevin would not even have thought that important enough information to ask.

“What did you do to us?” He folds his arms, towering over her. Aaron glares at him. If we want her to help we should probably not snap at her.

I don’t have to play nice. She used her power on me!

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You bumped into us, and now we can hear each other’s thoughts. So you must have used your power on us,” Aaron says. Kiera’s gaze brightens.

“You know about powers? Do you have them?”

Don’t give her information.

Shut up

“You’re changing the subject. Can you undo your power?”

“No.”

“So you’re saying we’re stuck like this.” Kevin’s voice has a sharp edge to it. Kiera flinches back from him. Aaron doesn’t scold Kevin this time, evidently also annoyed by this information.

“It’s not forever! It goes away after… after…”

“After what?” 

“Okay, it makes more sense if I explain my power. So, I’ve always been good at spotting which characters have good chemistry in stories. I always know who should get together. Then after the storm, I started seeing people who would be good together, and when I touch them, something happens that helps with whatever is stopping them from being together.”

“Telepathy,” Aaron says. What does she mean (she’s wrong) who would be good together (Kevin would never)

“Not necessarily. Like once it  was that someone was too immature, and my power made him a lot older, which changed his perspective. Then when they got together he changed back. Or I had someone who was too scared, and my power made them really brave. It’s just whatever is blocking it from happening.”

“How does us being in each other’s heads help? Not that we’re-” Aaron isn’t, anyway. 

What do you mean? I’m not what?

“Maybe you just need to understand each other’s perspectives. I don’t know.”

“You can’t just go around trying to manipulate people into relationships, it’s not your place to interfere just because you think something is going on.” This is so awkward (he would never) how the fuck are we supposed to navigate this (not Kevin Day) we’re going to be stuck with it (not with me)

I mean, if she’s wrong about anyone here it’s you

“I don’t just think! I can see. I told you. I literally see chemistry, it’s part of my power, and it is pouring off of you two. So when you were fighting I knew I had to-” Kiera cuts off, but it is too late. Kevin and Aaron’s attention focuses in on her, both of their faces tight with anger.

“You did this on purpose,” Kevin says.

“I just wanted to help!”

“Well, you didn’t,” Aaron says. 

“You’ll be happy in the long run.” Keira’s back is to the wall, but she sidesteps, starting to slide away from them. “You’ll see.”

She takes off. Kevin starts to step after her, but Aaron puts a hand on his arm to stop him. Let her go. We got the information. She can’t help anymore.

She might be lying.

I don’t think she is. Let’s go back to the dorms (we probably need to talk about this) (fuck)

Aaron-

No. Dorms first (what did he mean I’m the one she’s wrong about)

Obviously we’re both going to be thinking about this on the way back

Well she got it wrong, right? (Did she though Aaron) so there has to be some other way to undo this (she got it half right didn’t she)

That’s what I mean. She got it half right. 

Did you (does he know) ?

There’s a hopeful flutter in Kevin’s chest, followed by an aching pining sensation. He looks at Aaron. Aaron looks back, then blushes and looks away. 

Don’t be stupid (he would never) don’t even think (he can hear you) how embarrassing (to think he would ever) shut up 

“Aaron.” Could he…

“What?” Stop thinking 

Can’t do this again if you’re not sure. You said you wouldn’t. Nine times is enough.

What did you do nine times?

Kevin thinks of every time he’s ever kissed Aaron. Aaron goes still. Kevin is so lost in his memories that it takes him a few steps to realise. He pauses and looks back at Aaron. Aaron’s expression gives little away, but Kevin can feel the resounding echo of his utter shock. The slight twinge of betrayal. The heat of underlying anger. 

“You’ve kissed me and rewound time so I wouldn’t remember?”

“Not on purpose!” I can’t control it. I never mean to go back. 

Nine times?! How can you make the same mistake nine times?

You know the powers are unpredictable.

I wasn’t talking about your power (I meant me in the mistake obviously)

Kissing you was never a mistake.

But you-

You always got angry at me. I panicked and accidentally went back. I don’t want you to hate me. 

Kevin (I don’t understand) I don’t (why would I be angry) why would you (probably didn’t believe it) 

What are you not understanding?

Why would you kiss me?

Why does anyone kiss anyone?

Kevin (why me what am I compared to Kevin Day I’m just-)

“Stop.” Kevin closes the space back to Aaron, taking his face in his hands. Aaron’s cheeks are warm beneath his palms. He gazes up at Kevin, his eyes wide. Stop thinking like that. “I’m not Kevin Day. Not with you.” I can just be Kevin with you. I like being Kevin with you. I like you. 

He doesn’t mean that-

“Meant it enough to have nine first kisses with you.”

That’s so annoying I don’t remember any of our first kisses

Well it’s not you it’s the variants of you in different timelines

Still me!

There’s a timeline where you have two fingers frozen off, but here you are, all digits accounted for. It’s not you. It’s a different timeline version of you. I haven’t kissed this you.

Kevin starts to lean down. Aaron puts a hand to his chest.

“This is your tenth kiss with me, but it’s my first kiss with you. So I’m going to kiss you, and you’re going to let me do it my way. But we are going back to the dorms first.” 

“Okay.”

The whole way back Kevin’s mind is flicking through memories of his kisses with Aaron at other points in time, wondering if this one is going to be similar to any of them. Aaron is also imagining their kiss, though he keeps trying to shut that thought down, not wanting Kevin to know how it’s going to happen before he decides. He’s also wondering if this will actually work.

Once they’re back in the dorm and the door shuts behind them, a silence lingers heavy in the air. Not just their words, but even their thoughts still in anticipation.

Here goes nothing (make this good)

Aaron steps closer. He reaches up and cups Kevin’s cheek with surprising confidence. Kevin leans down so it is easier for Aaron to reach. His other hand slides to the back of Kevin’s neck, encouraging him closer. Their noses brush together, breath mingling between them.

Tenth time is the charm.

Aaron presses up towards Kevin and firmly slots their lips together. It is nothing like any of their previous kisses. There is so much more purpose and intent behind this kiss, Aaron slotting his lips against Kevin’s, pressing firm but gentle. Even though it’s a chaste kiss, liquid heat cascades through Kevin. He feels like there is an electric current running beneath his skin.

Can I touch him?

Yes (please do)

Kevin wraps his arms around Aaron and pulls him close. Aaron exhales heavily through his nose. He slides his tongue along Kevin’s lower lip and Kevin opens to him immediately. Aaron’s hand moves up to his hair, gripping, using his hold to angle Kevin’s head to his liking as he brushes their tongues together.

He’s so good at this. Kevin grips Aaron’s hips, grounding himself as much as he’s holding Aaron. This is the best kiss we’ve had.

Fuck. Can’t believe-

Aaron. Wanted for so long-

“What?” Aaron draws back just enough to speak. His nose is still against Kevin’s, lips brushing Kevin’s mouth with his words.

“Hm?” Kevin tilts his head, catching Aaron’s mouth in their first second kiss. Aaron huffs, then turns his head away. 

“What have you wanted?”

To kiss you.

Kevin moves forward again, but Aaron leans back.

“Kevin.”

“I told you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I- Oh. Has it worked? Can you not hear my thoughts anymore?” 

“No. Can you hear mine?” 

Kevin shakes his head. Aaron trails his fingertips over Kevin’s lips, causing tingles to burst through him. He’s slightly disappointed. He’d have liked to explore their telepathy in the bedroom, but on the flip side, if Aaron had thought something even slightly less than positive about Kevin, it probably would have sent him spiralling. 

“Wanted to do this,” Kevin murmurs, taking hold of Aaron’s jaw. He presses their third kiss to Aaron’s mouth, and thinks I hope that number just keeps going up.

[alienducky]

Fire Emblem Three Houses Crochet Wyvern - attempt 1

I finally finished it! It's taken me since the end of March 2022 (on and off, I got sidetracked making Alligator Loki for a while) but my prototype wyvern is done

Wyvern is 123.5 inches / 10foot 3.5 inches / 313.69cm wingtip to wingtip, and 56 inches / 4 foot 6 inches / 142.24cm nose to tail tip, and roughly 6 lbs / 2.72 kg ish. So a chunky baby He was made out of aran weight yarn using a 5mm hook and for the most part is Tunisian knit stitch. His toes were done in Tunisian simple stitch, and I think I did his teeth in normal rounds?

And now I do a cut to save everyone's feeds from all the pictures I'm going to share ^_^

(For reference, here are two photos of the wyvern from in game)

First, a few more angles on wyvern, and then I'll point out things I want to change for the next one

He's a handsome lad, and very recognisable for what he's meant to be!

But he also could be improved. A lot

Example 1, I lined up wyverns nose and tail tip against the in game 3d model to see how close he was to being accurate. And, er. yeah.

To give myself credit, when I first started this back in March 2022, I was working out lengths and widths and general sizing from screenshots taken from examining units in Three Houses, where I traced the outline onto a sheet of paper to measure things and perspective makes things AWKWARD, ok? (As is having brain farts and not remembering that the ruler had metric on the other side of it, but shush, let's not mention that bit)

So the biggest thing to fix will be the scaling, if I can. I can definitely make the tail longer, the head shorter and thinner, the chest between the wings thinner, the wing sockets bulkier, and thanking all the stars, the wings get to be smaller too. By a LOT

The other major thing I want to do different/better is how the ridges along his back from nose to tail tip work.

While they do work on wyvern, they don't look as great as I think they potentially can? So I'm going to be doing double layers of crochet, sort of, to help give the sticky up bit of the overlapping ridges more definition, and hopefully make them look like the slightly thicker scaling they're meant to be. It'll also help to smooth them out, so they won't have the weird dips where I've joined one to the next

I'm going to do the wings differently too, because what I did with these ones was quite frankly awful? I cut each wing segment into individual pieces to then hem and flip inside out to over sew the visible edges, and then hemmed up the sides that went inside the struts to then sew the crocheted parts to the fabric. So the fabric was the cheese to the crochet bread in this awful, awful sandwich situation. I am also never, ever buying anything that is even vaguely silky or satiny or slippery ever again for anything

For the next one I'll keep the two pieces of wing fabric as one big piece, since the top and bottom of the wing membranes are actually slightly different colours if you look closely, but I'm going to cheat and use some of that iron on hemming tape stuff to fill the inside of the fabric after I've done all the outer hemming and over sewing so it'll kind of look like all the veins and stuff that the membranes have? So the fabric hopefully won't slip around so much, so will be easier to sew, and keeping it as one big piece means there's less change of me messing up the positioning of the struts on the panels because the wings on this one aren't equal despite my best efforts

Next is Claude's white wyvern, but it'll be made with DK yarn and either a 3.5 or 4mm hook, so it will (hopefully) come out significantly smaller than this one. And that one is going to get plastic boning/skeleton in it, so it'll be poseable!!!

[journey-to-the-attic]

3rd anni req 24: luke / outing

ao3 link

note: okay, so the original request did refer to a restaurant, but i was having trouble figuring out what to write for that setting, so i ended up swapping it - but the scenario still works as a silly little date as specified, so hopefully that's okay!

∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎

“I still don’t get what we’re doing here.”

“You’ll understand as soon as you get in.”

“Are you sure you can’t come with me?”

“So many questions. Yes, I’m sure.” Lucifer sighs. “You’ll have company once you get inside. Call me once you’re finished.”

“...fine.” I huff, allowing him to push me through the door.

A bell rings, and Lucifer nods at me one final time before disappearing back out onto the street. I don’t even know where this is, but this looks like a reception, so I shuffle hesitantly to the demon at the front desk.

She looks up from a notepad as I approach, and offers a friendly smile. “Can I help you?”

My mind blanks. I think Lucifer told me what to say, but—

“IK!”

“Luke?”

“You took ages! I was getting worried.” He turns to the receptionist with a polite cough. “Oh, um, this is the friend I was talking about.”

“I see,” She says with the same smile as before, then indicates a door to her left. “Well, go ahead. Enjoy yourselves.”

“Thank you! IK, come on.”

“What’s going on?” I ask, bewildered, as we step into a finely carpeted hallway. “Is there a party or something?”

“It’s afternoon tea,” He says patiently - as if he’s reminding me of something I already know. “Did you forget?”

“I didn’t know there was anything to forget.”

“Lucifer didn’t tell you?”

“No?”

He stops walking. I do the same. We stare at each other for a moment.

Clearly something’s been lost in communication here. Was Lucifer meant to tell me? He certainly wasn’t acting like he intended to. He’s got to have set this up, right? It’s definitely not a coincidence that Asmo had a new tie for me this morning, either. Maybe everyone’s in on it…

“...well, never mind,” I say after a moment - Luke is beginning to look panicked. “Did you say afternoon tea?”

“Barbatos recommended it. I thought…” He trails off for a moment. “...well, I wanted to try the sweets. And I felt bad about the thing in Enchantments.”

I’d forgotten about that as soon as we left the classroom, to be honest. (I’m not one hundred percent sure I didn’t break something, but Simeon was so quick on the ball with his healing that I couldn’t tell.)

“I did tell you it was fine,” I say, indicating for him to start moving again. “But this is nice. You didn’t invite Simeon?”

“Oh, um… no.” He looks a little embarrassed. “He said he was busy.”

He indicates a door and ushers me into a dainty little parlour room. It’s opulent in a subtle sort of way; the decor is quaint, but it’s clear that whoever owns the place isn’t skimping on costs to keep the charm of the aesthetic up. I recognise those special ambient candles - Asmo uses them for photoshoots, and they definitely don’t come cheap.

One of the chairs is already pulled out, but despite the vast spread of sweets across the table, Luke clearly hasn’t touched anything yet. He shows me the catalogue of teas on offer - the names are so flowery that they all kind of melt together into an indistinguishable haze. Eventually I spot one that I recognise from Barbatos’s own collection, and quickly latch onto it.

“You’re really good at this,” Luke says happily as I pour him a cup. “Oh, wait!”

He leaps up, rounds the table, and quickly pulls out my chair for me with a little bow. “There. Like a gentleman does it.”

“Thanks,” I say with a laugh. “Did Barbatos teach you that?”

Luke returns to his seat, a little pink-cheeked. “Raphael, actually. Okay! Let’s try some of these cakes!”

The menu is extensive: a vast array of confections, iced in a colour wheel of hues, topped with everything from spun sugar to dried fruit to little edible figurines. There are some I recognise - Battenberg, castella, chiffon, babka - and even more that I don’t.

Most of them are rendered in miniature form, so that as many can be sampled as possible, with the exception of the house special. This one is a pure Devildom creation, though it looks to me a lot like a Swiss roll with an especially large, almost dizzying swirl. It feels like I’ll fall into it if I stare too long…

“Look at the rise on that,” Luke says in awe, holding up one of the ones I don’t recognise. “They’re so teeny, but they look absolutely perfect. Mm! It’s not sour at all, either! Mine always come out too tart.”

“Hey, I know this one.” I pick out a little rectangular one with layers of puff pastry. “This guy’s French. I think it’s called mille-feuille.”

“Mille-feuille,” Luke repeats, then giggles. “That’s fun, isn’t it? Mille-feuille.”

“A lot of these are French, actually,” I ponder, pointing at several in quick succession. “Eclairs, macarons, and… well, we call those French fancies, but I don’t think they actually are. You call all these petits fours.”

“Petits fours,” He copies, then draws out the vowels a bit more. “Petits fours.”

“Petits fours,” I agree.

“Petits fours...”

We pass the words back and forth, making it a little more French each time, until the consonants completely disappear and we’re practically just cawing at each other, and finally reduce ourselves to laughter.

“You’re good!” I manage once we’ve calmed down enough. “Your French is really good!”

“Is it?” He takes a few deep breaths and grins helplessly across the table. “I was just copying you.”

“You do it better than I do, I reckon. Whew…” I compose myself with a sip of tea. “And you don’t even have France in the Celestial Realm. Actually, the Devildom doesn’t, either, so what’re all these French sweets doing here?”

“Maybe they’re just that good! Actually, even in the Celestial Realm, human-world sweets are even more popular than our traditional ones.”

“The French do really know how to bake. It might the second best thing they do. After revolution.”

“Revolution?”

“And chopping people’s heads off.”

“What?”

“Did I never tell you about the guillotines?”

I wouldn’t have blamed him for asking me to stop (we’re eating, after all), but Luke listens to the whole history lesson with starry-eyed fascination, and it doesn’t stop him from sampling a mini madeleine and two financiers while he’s listening. Morbid history is much more Belphie’s thing, but Luke asks questions even he hadn’t thought of - like how long the heads stayed ‘awake’ for after they were cut off, which is possibly the most unsettling way he could have phrased it.

A year or so ago, I don’t think he could’ve gotten past de Launay’s head being on a pike. I don’t think I could’ve identified nearly as many of the cakes laid out in front of us, either. (Now that I think about it, it’s a shame there isn’t any angel cake.) Clearly we’ve had very different effects on each other.

Once I’ve exhausted about as much of the history lesson as I can recall, it’s Luke’s turn to tell me about the time a seraph, pursued by some heavenly equivalent of a polar bear, crossed the entire Celestial Realm thrice over in a trial of justice and courage. Though the point seems to be more about the spectacle - and it sounds more like the seraph Uriel just did it for fun. A trial of courage probably doesn’t involve pole-vaulting over a perfectly level field.

Somehow, no matter how long we talk, the sweets never get sickly, for all there are so many of them. I really must have learnt something from Barbatos; something about the occasional sip of tea stops the cakes from getting too cloyingly sweet. Still, eventually we’ve both had enough for the day.

I can’t say I’m not worried about all the sugar - but somehow I don’t feel the buzz as we keep talking, either. Maybe it’s cancelling out, somehow. It’s easy to keep up the energy with such good company.

Luke excuses himself to go ask for something, and it’s only once the room is silent that I realise how much time we’ve whiled away. I decide to shoot Lucifer a message - because he likes to fret about timings, even if he denies it - just to let him know that we’re still doing fine.

As soon as I press send, there’s a muffled musical note from somewhere suspiciously close by. I pause, then turn around. There’s a large potted plant blocking the window from the direct view of the table.

I narrow my eyes. Then I get up, round the table, side-step aside the potted plant, look out through the window - and make direct eye contact with Simeon.

He, at least, has the grace to look embarrassed. Lucifer, standing plainly beside him, does not; he just raises an eyebrow at me and jerks his head, as if to say ‘continue’.

I don’t know whether or not to be annoyed at him. Actually, I still don’t know why he made such a performance of getting me here in the first place. ‘Do you want to go to a sweets parlour with Luke?’ would have been a perfectly fine way to set it up. Did he think the fancy hotel would intimidate me too much?

Luke isn’t back yet. I unfasten the latch and open the window, half-expecting them both to disappear, then hiss, “I thought you were busy.”

Simeon smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure things were going well.”

“Have you been here the whole time?”

“Oh, no, just for a few minutes. There’s a little cafe just out front. We were having coffee…”

“And spying on us.”

He winces a little. “That’s a strong word.”

I turn to Lucifer, who still doesn’t look as if he thinks he’s done anything wrong. “Why wouldn’t you tell me what was going on?”

“I thought it might spoil the surprise,” He says lightly. “Well? Are you having fun? Is Luke behaving himself?”

Simeon shoots him a look. “Of course he is."

“I’m afraid I wasn’t asking you.”

“We’re having fun,” I interject, exasperated. “Lucifer, behave.”

He quirks a brow and folds his arms. “That’s an odd way to speak to the demon who’s paying for this.”

“Don’t listen to him, IK,” Simeon says. “We agreed to split the bill.”

“If you’re so quick to make corrections, perhaps you should pay for the whole—”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I announce. “Go do something fun, alright? I’ll save you some cake.”

I shut the window (Simeon waves a little meekly), then draw both the blinds and the thick velvety curtains for good measure. To be honest, without magic, there’s very little I could do about them eavesdropping if they really wanted to, but it’s better for all of us if they just listen.

I’d better light some more of these candles, too. It’s kind of dark in here now.

Luke returns just as I’m done doing that. He shuts the door behind him, then pauses. “...what’s this?”

“There, uh… there were a lot of people walking by the window.” He might start panicking if I told him the truth. Or, worse, get mad, and storm off to chew Simeon out. “It was kind of dark, so…”

“Oh! Right.” He coughs and comes further into the room. He seems a little flushed. “Ahem, anyway, I asked, and all the cakes come with the package, so we can take the ones we don’t finish home. I got some bags from the front desk - they’re really cute.

“Alright… are we leaving?”

“Well, we don’t have to. The lady at the desk said the room wasn’t booked for the rest of the afternoon. I was just thinking…”

“I could put on a bit more tea,” I suggest. “Barbatos says the neptune-blue is good for talking after sweets. If you’re not sick of me, I mean.”

He beams. “Come on, I could never get sick of you. Yeah, let’s stay a little longer!”

[mysticum-draconis]

Quick Aziraphale sketch I did in February.

Naturally I picked the harder of the two to draw first (that fluffy hair was MURDER, let me tell you!). He looks nothing like the reference, but at least he’s recognisable.

I probably should have posted this during Ineffable May, but my mind was in the void that entire month, so you can have him now! I guess Pride Month is a good time to post Good Omens stuff too 🏳️‍🌈

He’s been needing a Crowley sketch to keep him company for a while now, hopefully I’ll grant his wish soon 😅

Please don’t use or post on other websites without credit or permission, thanks 🙏

[devondespresso]

Since We're Alive Now

T | 5843 words | also on ao3 (soon) | cw: referenced/implied self-image issues, swearing, brief references to physical injury, strong self criticism, and canon typical tone in some areas but with happy ending

April Fools from the @strangerthingswritersguild !! This fic is for @medusapelagia sorry its a littttttle late, I hope the extra 2k to the word count makes up for it dgaskdgkjhdkla

I picked the prompt "platonic hellcheer: fixing their hair", hopefully its the one you gave me or if not, i hope you at least enjoy this instead! 💕

_

Chrissy walked towards the hospital doors with her pink pocketbook in one hand and the black guitar case in the other. A man on his way out noticed her and held the door, and she hurried to catch up with a polite thanks. He nodded, distracted, looking once at the state of her appearance, twice at the guitar case with her. She ducked into the lobby and pretended not to notice.

Chrissy sped up to the reception desk and asked the lady there for a visitor’s pass, smiling like she wasn’t bothered by the stress acne dotting her forehead and cheeks and chin, like she didn’t know her hair looked terrible, unwashed and unbrushed. Severely unkept, without a good mirror to glance at before entering a room full of strangers that’d easily recognise her from photos on the news. 

The woman looked at Chrissy, with an extra loaded glance to the guitar case, then looked down at her computer. 

Chrissy moved her pocketbook over to also be held by the guitar case hand, then brought up her freed hand to check her watch.

“I’m very sorry, but visiting hours are closed for Mr. Munson. You can try again tomorrow, sweetie.”

Chrissy looked up at the lady sitting and looking back at her with a sugary sweet authority. 

Chrissy checked her watch, and, yeah, she got the time right.

“Tomorrow, Miss Cunningham.” she smiled.

She checked the watch one more time, just to be sure she was right.

“What time tomorrow?”

“The visiting hours listed on the board for non-family members of special patents, now, Miss Cunningham, I’m very sorry, but there is a line.”

Chrissy looked across the room at the bulletin board, then back towards the two people behind her. She apologized to the people behind her, and slipped out of line towards the board. 

She set the case gently on the chairs lined up along the wall, keeping it close and still on the chairs in front of her, and searched the board for the hours.

Special patients… special patients… none of them said “special”. There were no new lists either, but there was a new-ish note, just to the side of the regular described hours. 

‘During these uncertain times, staff reserve the right to limit visitation for the protection of patients or their visitors. We thank you for your understanding.’

Chrissy stared at the note, reading it again to be sure.

‘uncertain times… limit visitation… protection of patients or their visitors.’

A bunch of freaking bull.

Chrissy huffed and leaned away from the bulletin board, glaring at the desk for a second before looking back at the guitar case on the seats.

She picked it back up gently, not wanting it hitting against anything despite the outside being scuffed to hell and back already, and looked back around the room for another way. 

She wandered closer to the other end of the reception desk, and on the back wall, among photos and other nurses celebrating long careers at the hospital, was a name Chrissy recognized.

Margret Briggs, and very likely Robin's infamous “second favorite person on the planet”: Miss Maggie. 

Chrissy went up to a different receptionist and politely got her attention.

“Excuse me, sorry, is Miss Maggie working today? I'm friends with Robin Buckley, she mentioned–”

“Oh, you just missed her– give me one second, sugar.” The receptionist got up and went straight to a door behind the counter, opening it to lean inside and yell, “Hey, Maggie! One of your demon children is in here!”

Chrissy startled a laugh, and the receptionist shared a playful smile. Miss Maggie came out the door a few seconds later.

“Friend of Buckley,” The receptionist hummed with a playful jab, “This one's all your's Maggie.” 

“I think you mean ‘thank you Maggie’.” Miss Maggie said, then waved Chrissy over to the very end of the reception desk, meeting at the little employee doors attached to the counter.

“Hey, doll. Christine, right?” hummed, seemingly unfazed that they'd never met before. 

“Chrissy, yeah, I– um… Has something happened to Eddie Munson? He’s not getting worse or anything, right?”

“Not that I know of– I’m not in charge of any of his charts but…” She threw a loaded glance at the far side of the reception desk, then back to Chrissy. “But I’ll check for you real quick.”

She dipped back behind the counter and to one of the unattended computers.

“Thank you,” she sighed, “He mentioned they were still keeping him for a while. For observation or something, but I figured that meant he'd still be, I don't know, relatively stable?”  

“Every now and then we get patients the state wants to oversee, they don’t give us much good reason but it doesn’t hurt anything… The paperwork is a pain in the ass, but that’s nothing to do with the patient–” she paused, caught reading something on the screen. “Munson’s fine. I've got a note about some kind of incident with a visitor, though.” 

She read it again with careful confusion, then stood up, “Looks like nothing serious, friends’ spat, but there's no way they mistake you for him.” She looked up from the computer and over again at the reception desk. “Did you come find me first, doll?”

“Um, no, I tried the front, and she said visiting hours were closed. Normally I never had any trouble…” 

Miss Maggie’s face soured for a second, then she shrugged. “Well, at least that's an easy fix, then.”

She leaned over to grab a blank visitor's pass and began writing, asking Chrissy a couple questions to fill it out. She finished with a loopy signature and handed the pass to her. Chrissy moved her pocketbook over to the same hand as the guitar again, and took the pass.

“Thank you so much, I…”

“Not a problem, doll, you always come ask for me if you need something. It's a lot easier to help you kids when you aren't making a scene.” she laughed.

Chrissy smiled and thanked her again, waving to her and the receptionist before heading down Eddie's hall.

Chrissy reached the room and knocked on the door.

“No vacancy.” Eddie’s muffled voice said from the other side, and Chrissy huffed before opening and leaning in through the door.

“You sure there isn’t room for one more?”

“Heeeey, Chris!” he yelled, stretching out the word and throwing in the nickname like they’d known each other for way longer than a month or so. “Hey, you’re hair’s down, looks great.”

“Yeah, didn’t feel like doing it today.” She said at a more reasonable volume, but she still couldn’t help the huge smile tugging at her cheeks. She ducked into the room and closed the door behind her, only to turn back and find Eddie now sitting up properly with a deathgrip on the bed rails.

“Chrissy.” Eddie said, staring at the case before looking up at her face. “Did you go back?”

“You wanted your guitar, right?” she said, walking over to the other side of the room to put it away.

“Yeah, I asked Nancy to grab it, next time she was in the area, specifically because she wouldn’t have something making that a completely miserable visit.”

Chrissy set it down, holding back an eye-roll and sealing her mouth shut.

“I also told her it could wait if something came up–”

“Well something did,” she said, keeping her voice light, “Steve’s bites flared up and Nancy wanted to check in, so I told her I’d get it.”

“Then it could’ve waited, Chris.” he sighed, “No one’s robbing the half-broken satanist’s dumpster–”

“Maybe there's a chance I actually wanted to go.” she snapped, then paused and took a breath. She picked up a chair and dragged it over to the side of the bed. “Your trailer is– I don't know, nice to me. I told Nancy I'd get it, like, hours ago, and now I'm here before visiting hours are up.”

Eddie watched as she sat down, got that look on his face where you could tell he was thinking but couldn’t guess what. She looked back, and he nodded.

“Well, thanks, Chris.” he said quietly, dropping back to the half-up position of the hospital bed and looking back at his guitar. “Nice to have her back in the room with me again.” he smiled.

“She complained the whole way, y’know, you’re going to have to make it up to her.”

“Oh, I am, aren’t I?” he sighed, with convincing fake exasperation that was broken towards the end with a smile. “Most metal concert in the world and I couldn’t even use the real version of her.”

“Looks like you’ll just have to play it again.”

Eddie glanced over at her, sad for a second before turning back. “Yeah, probably should. Make better memories and all that recovery shit.”

“You should get the rest of Corroded Coffin in on it.” she said, resting her elbows on the bed. “Can’t be the most metal without them, too.”

“Christopher, you wound me.” he ‘gasped’, hand on his chest like clutching pearls, and had he not been sternly advised to rest Chrissy assumed he’d be halfway across the room right now. “Am I alone not metal enough to have that title?”

“Are you not more powerful with Jeff and Grant by your side?” she mused along, imitating his silly accent.

“I knew it, you like Jeff more than me!” he cried, flopping over to one side with the back of his hand over his temple.

Chrissy snorted and hummed a vague agreement.

“Scandalized, betrayed– the ultimate betrayal! The greatest betrayal known to man or woman!” He continued, flopping over to the other side, other hand doing the same pose, “By my best friend no less! And also by Chrissy!”

“You jerk.” she laughed, and laid her head down on her arms pillowed below her.

“Alright, I hear your pleas.” Eddie continued, dropping the arm and looking at her over-earnestly, “You can regain your title by admitting that I’m the most metal… twenty-year-old super-super senior with interdimensional bat bites that you’ve ever met.”

“Deal.” Chrissy laughed, “But a metalhead still belongs with his metal band.”

“Of course. Every good metal band needs someone vaguely louder and charged with murder.”

“And with long hair, of course.”

“Yes, exactly, poor Gareth’s at least a year or two away from anything like this.” he preened, “If one of the nurses doesn't chop it all off before then. Mrs. Mitchell called it a rat’s nest, and I don't really have a mirror here but I don't think she's that far off.” he laughed, fiddling with the end of a curl escaping over his shoulder. Chrissy’s gaze followed the strand up to the rest of the hair, and while, yeah, there was a mess of strands outside of their curls that tied into a matted mess, a lot of what the nurse called a ‘rats nest’ was just frizz. And untamed was not the same as irreparable.

“I can brush it real quick.” she hummed.

“Thought you said you didn’t wanna do hair today?”

“I didn’t want to do my hair.” she corrected, pulling a strand of hair down out in front of her face, twirling it  “I kind of just… didn’t want to think about how I look.” She let it fall onto her face, then tucked it back again.

Eddie hummed and sunk down in the bed, hair bunching up across the bed and actively making the ‘rat’s nest’ look worse.

“Yeah, that's okay.” he muttered, then continued, “You don’t exactly brush out curly hair anyway, but thanks for offering, Chris. I’ll probably just have to buzz it again and start over. Or start back at an ugly ass bob.” he laughed, cynically.

“Or,” she said, sitting up to prove she's serious. “You could just let me try to get some tangles out first, because it's really not that bad.”

“Chris, seriously, it’s a mess. Don’t waste your time.”

“It’s never a waste of time.” she said, getting up to find the bag of hygiene stuff in the corner.

“Chris–”

“Ah ah ah, let me explain myself.” 

Chrissy dug out a wide comb and then a small compact mirror from her purse before running back to the bed. She held out the mirror and leaned over next to him, pointing the mirror so they’d both be able to see.

“Chris…”

“Hold the mirror.”

Eddie reluctantly held the little compact mirror, much lower to be easier on his body, and pointed it at his face.

“Pretty sight, isn’t it.” he said sarcastically.

“Yup.” Chrissy said earnestly, pulling a bundle of hair out in front and combing through it with her fingers, and hoped Eddie would use her mirror to let himself see it, “It’s just a little tangled down here, I can work through that part for you, and the rest of this–” she combed through the dense fuzz gathering around the shape of the curls like a glow, “This is just extra frizzy from everything. It's like half the amount of tangles the nurse was thinking, just chopping it would be overkill even if it was that bad.”

“Okay, well if I've got a personal stylist, then.” he joked, snapping the compact closed and handing it back, “But only if I can return the favor.”

“Sure.” she smiled, “But you first, scoot over.”

Eddie nodded, taking the arm she offered for assistance in moving. “So on a scale of one to ten how close is this to a classic slumber party?”

“About a seven.”

“Oh, only a seven? What are we missing?”

She laughed and thought about it as she sat on the bed behind him. “Mm, we could use some music. Madonna, The Go-Gos, Cyndi Lauper, all your favorites.”

“Mhm, you know me so well.” He grumbled, playing annoyed.

Chrissy separated out a section of hair and started working through knots gently with her fingers. Eddie did his best to keep still, head only turning slightly, probably without realizing, as he looked around the room thinking of something to do. Not nervous, just allergic to being perfectly still.

“Your book’s on the table back here, if you're looking for it.”

Eddie only hummed so she could know he heard her. 

It stayed quiet for a few more moments.

“How’d–”

He shifted slightly to sit differently, and a few strands of hair stayed caught in her hand and got pulled. On reflex he went to touch the spot that hurt, but his bigger injuries stopped him halfway.

“Sorry–”

“Its fine, my bad.” he huffed, then, purposely casual, “How’d it go with Carver?”

Chrissy shrugged. “I mean… he’s taking it better than I expected, I guess.”

“Not freaking out?”

“Nothing like that,” she hummed, “He was still upset in the beginning, kept trying to come up with excuses for me, ironically.”

Eddie hummed to show he was listening.

“So I told him even if none of this happened, I couldn’t stay with someone who wouldn’t listen to what I had to say about it all. And now he’s just… quiet, I think.”

Eddie turned his head slightly to talk to her. “Quiet as in he stopped the conversation? Or stopped talking to you… at all?”

“He still talks to people, and me, if we have anything to talk about, but he’s… lost in thought, I guess, most of the time. Unless there's some special reason to get happy.”

“Huh.” he said, leaning over in a thinking position, forgetting he was supposed to stay still.

Chrissy set the comb down on the bed beside her.

“Yeah, it’s pretty strange. He was always so expressive even before we got together, and I know some of the distance is normal breakup stuff, but since talking with me… it’s like there’s something… actually wrong.”

Eddie shook his head. “I think he’s thinking. Nothing wrong with him, not that you did, or– You did it, but not…” Eddie paused for another second to get his speech straight, then sat back up and turned to her. “He’s thinking about everything. What he did, and what it means now. Now that he can’t tell himself it’s what you would’ve wanted. And if the bastard's lucky–” he cringed right after he said it, then recovered with a breath. “If we’re lucky, he’s questioning what he wants to believe about other people, now that you’re more person than what he was expecting.”

Chrissy nodded, and gestured back to his hair.

“Right, sorry.” he said, sitting straight again.

“You’re fine.” she hummed. “That’s good, then, if he really is thinking things through. He never seemed like the type of person to want to hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, turns out you can’t really judge someone until the world is ending.”

“It’s not that. You can’t judge someone under that kind of pressure.” she said, gently pulling excess strands out of a particularly big knot.  “It’s more like… he has what it takes to do good, and he just… didn’t. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t know him well enough, but I’d like to think he’s going to get better.”

“Lovely optimism, but I wouldn't hold your breath.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” 

Eddie shrugged, and it was quiet for a good few moments before Eddie started talking again.

“I’d imagine as far as breakups go, this one’s gotta be one of the wildest rides.” he said, and Chrissy could hear the stupid grin he had to be wearing.

“Yeah, it hasn’t exactly been the fairytale romance he was hoping for.”

“God, yeah, he’d probably have a better time in a fucking Shakespearean tragedy. Like, imagine how bad you gotta screw up for your ex to start shooting the shit with the murder suspect.”

Chrissy cracked a smile. “Excuse you, I am willingly shooting the shit with a loud fantasy-loving dork.”

“Augh, you wound me, Christine!” he yelled, throwing his head back, throwing a limp wrist up over his forehead again.

She burst out into a real laugh and pushed him back into place again. “I might for real if you don’t sit still.”

“Again with you and your ruthless betrayals.” he joked, sitting back up again. “Are you this cruel with all your clients?”

“No, only the girls at the slumber party who do too much boy talk.”

“Oh my god, what jackass brings up boyfriends at a slumber party?”

“If you find him, let me know.”

Eddie straightened up, arm coming up as far as he could go in and attempted a mock salute. “When I find the culprit, dear lady, he shall be banished!”

She giggled at his antics, gently parting his hair into two fluffy sections. “Not banished. I just need to let him know his hair’s all set.” Then she tossed both halves of his brushed hair over his shoulder for him to see.

“Holy shit, are you sure this is better?” He laughed, patting the frizz down.

“It's not matted, that’s all I promised.”

“You’ve tricked me, this was your grand scheme! You lured me in with your fabulous looks and promises of detangling, only to trap me in a deal, all to get me to do your hair!”

“Oh yes, it was my plan all along!” she mused with him, getting off the bed to grab her pocketbook.

Chrissy dug around until she found the small hairbrush she kept in there. It wasn’t exactly the best tool, but it’d be enough.

They settled back onto the bed, Eddie sitting more comfortably by the head of the bed, legs folded in so Chrissy could sit close enough in front. Eddie took the pocket hairbrush and a section of her hair and started working through the few tangles gently.

It stayed peacefully quiet for a good few minutes as he focused on not pulling any hair. Then, when there was more smooth hair than knots and he seemed more confident that he wouldn’t hurt her, he started talking.

“If bringing up a guy again won’t get me banished…”

“Of course it won’t.” she laughed, turning slightly to give him her attention.

But he stayed quiet, brushing her hair like he hadn’t heard her.

“It’s a staple of slumber parties, actually,” she continued, less energetic but just as soft, “Madonna, boy talk, and just… regular talk. Secrets, if we want to.”

Eddie hummed, and stayed quiet a second longer.

“Did… have you talked with Harrington lately?” 

“Yeah, he’s okay, said he was taking it easier after the flare up as a precaution.”

Eddie hummed absently, stuck in a thought as he ran the brush needlessly through untangled hair, like either he hadn’t thought to stop or wanted to pretend he didn’t.

“Has anyone told you about me? What kind of person I am?”

“I don’t think so?” She turned around, “You’re talking about our friends? Not assholes that don’t know you?” 

“No, yeah, definitely– definitely people that know me.” he laughed, cynically.

“Who’s talking shit about you?”

“Nobody’s talking–”

“You’re saying it like you're waiting for someone to drop some dirt on you!”

“I’ve got the dirt on me!” he yelled, then took a breath and lowered his voice. “Harrington just figured me out. And it pissed him off.”

Chrissy searched his expression for any more context, but Eddie was too busy sifting through it himself to leave any to share. Chrissy put a hand on his knee, and waited.

He shook his head and looked away.

“I’m a hypocrite.” he said, then looked up and away to continue with a mocking melody. “The goon that talks himself up as something more honorable than he is, could even dream of being. A spineless rat wearing purpose like a costume.” His wide cynical smile slowly shut and clamped down into a pressed frown. “That sort of thing.”

“Did he say that?”

“No.” Eddie finally looked at her again, all fronts of humor lost. “During that whole fucked-up adventure, alternate dimensions and evil wizards and shit, I learned about myself, that I'm a coward at best. And at worst? I’m a delusional coward playing hero to make myself feel better.”

Finishing his declaration with a concrete certainty. Like he had it all figured out. Like the picture he painted looked anything like him. Like she wouldn’t have slapped him sick for saying that about anyone else.

“So now you know. He doesn’t strike me as a gossip, but, uh… I'd rather you hear it from me. I am nothing if not honest about it now.” he picked up the hairbrush again, gesturing for her to turn around so he could ‘finish’ brushing her hair. 

Chrissy turned around again, folding her knees in crisscrossed, and making sure to look at the blank wall across from them.

“So he didn’t tell you that, you decided it. And Steve got mad that you said it.”

“He made me realize it all. He was just mad at my stupid decisions.” Eddie continued, relaxing as he wove his story to the empty room, but still not loud enough to reach anyone else. “I was dropped into a real-life quest, and with real shit on the line, I realized all I think to do is run. I told him, in the middle of it, I didn’t know why– I thought I’d accepted it. So I could go ahead and fix myself before it cost us anything.”

Chrissy could feel the bed shift as he moved to sit another way again, set the hairbrush he was using on the bed beside her. 

“But I hadn’t, I just wanted… I wanted to prove it wasn’t there. And he had to have known, he told me not to– but I saw my chance and I took it anyway. 

“You mean the bats.” 

“I mean jumping into a volcano so I could be a martyr.”

“Buying time for Dustin and the others.”

She waited for his response, but he said nothing, and brushed at the ends of her hair. 

Chrissy kept her gaze on the wall in front of her, tracing the designs of the wallpaper so she wouldn’t turn around. “You couldn’t know how necessary it was in the moment. You might’ve been the only reason it worked."

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is it?”

“That I didn’t want to survive!” he yelled again, then the brush hit the hospital floor. “My body did but my mind wanted to be a hero, wanted to be Obi-wan, Aragorn, Kas, anybody that wasn’t too scared to help, pulled along for the ride because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, with nothing to add to the group of heroes.”

Quiet rang out behind her, and Chrissy made sure to keep her gaze stuck to the wall against her desire to look and understand. Instead, she slid a hand out behind her, palm up as an offer, and Eddie took it, cold hand taking hers quietly.

“You’re being too hard on yourself–” 

“I nearly killed myself trying to be something I’m not! And isn’t that fucking pathetic? To try and die to be like a storybook hero– I would’ve been fine if all that storybook shit was a bunch of bull, I could’ve watched the world be more depressing than fantasy, but–” he sighed, his voice starting to shake, “But he’s real. Dragged my sorry ass out of hell and doesn’t even have the decency to be a real dick about it. I just–”

He cut himself off with a big breath. Chrissy squeezed his hand, and he huffed, maybe sad, or maybe a laugh. It was quiet for a second more, and then a weight eased onto her shoulder. She looked over slightly to find Eddie resting the crown of his head against her sweater, and he took a a weak inhale to steady his voice.

“Since, like, second grade I imagined that, yeah, if I were faced with an evil wizard, or an army of minions, or whatever fantasy shit I could play as– I was sure I’d be the type to stand up and fight it, because I knew fear, I knew strategy and combat better than any asshole on the basketball team, and once Hellfire started to be more freshman than anything I figured I’d be the Aragorn to the Hobbits– but now that it’s happened? Playing is the only thing I seem to know how to do. When I wasn’t running for my damn life, I was playing shit like a game, picked the piece I wanted without telling anyone, and then got surprised when life doesn't work like that, and the party already had its hero.”

“And he knows. He can fucking smell it on me, maybe they all can. That i wanted that role so bad i missed the fucking point of it. And now that I’ve accepted it, actually accepted it… I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t lie to the guys, to Dustin, keep playing some kind of bravery now that I know it’s all bull– I can’t host a campaign for Dustin if he knows the kind of person I am when that shit is real, every round of combat he’d know what a hypocrite I am. Maybe I should just stop–”

“Hey, hey,” she turned around, too fast and so uncoordinated that she nearly hit his leg, and she lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’m stopping you there.” 

“If you had seen me, Chris, you’d believe me.” he muttered back, matching her volume, “Probably wouldn’t hate me, I don’t really know if you… do that shit.” He cracked a smile, almost like a little laugh at the awkward wording.

“Well, even if I was humanly capable of hating people, because hate is such a strong word,” she smiled, leaning into the joke, and Eddie huffed, “I still don’t think I’d hate you for this.”

“That is probably… the most Chrissy answer possible.” he laughed again and wiped at his face.

“Yeah, maybe…” She let out a deep breath, “You want to know what I think?”

Eddie hesitated, sulking and thinking for a few moments, then shrugged. “Yeah. Color me curious.”

Chrissy nodded and took a moment to put her thoughts together. Because she could give a good pap-talk, could find something nice to say about every girl in her squad, but Eddie would immediately be able to tell if she tried a pep-talk, and he’d hate it. So Chrissy spoke slowly.

“I think… you’ve taken a picture of yourself, and you’re treating it like a mirror.”

Eddie looked up, eyes questioning for a second before opening his mouth to ask, for good reason, because pictures and mirrors were a Chrissy problem, because Eddie used that metaphor not even a week ago with her. But Chrissy held up a hand between them, asking for just another second to explain further, because Eddie didn't have the pictures or mirrors specifically, but metaphors and analogies were an Eddie language.

“You have a picture of yourself… and it’s real– and other people can see it, if you show it to them. It's a picture, not a painting– But it’s one picture, and you’ve stared at it too long–”

Eddie caught the connection but didn't like it, leaning out of the conversation with a huff, looking off to the side, far away from her face, with well-restrained frustration.

Chrissy grabbed his shirt and pulled him back over, making sure he’d look her in the eye.

“You stare at it too long, because someone back down the line told you you had to,” she gritted out, “That if you just stare at these pictures hard enough, you'll finally figure out what everyone else sees, and you’ll finally find what’s wrong with you.” 

Eddie didn’t look away but she clearly hit a nerve, so Chrissy dropped her hand, softened her tone.

“Because if you can find what’s wrong with you, you can fix it, and then you’ll be happy. Or… better. Or deserving– whatever it is. But it’s a picture. And even if it’s showing you everything as it is, even if you're right about everything you’re seeing, it's just one side of you, and it could never capture all that you are.”

Eddie sat and stared at her, expression guarded, but only in that way that you couldn't control. The urge to stay unbothered or undecided as you thought, to pause the moment so you could take in everything and breathe.

Eddie nodded, barely there, just a slight move on an inhale. His eyes flicked back and forth between her and the walls before his face soured, slightly to keep that same guard up, and he ducked his head down into both hands, a curtain of frizzy hair covering his face. 

Chrissy waited for a second, but he didn’t move. So she set a hand out on the bed in front of him, and he shifted one hand free from propping himself up, grabbing hers on the bed and holding on.

“The people that love you most will always see more than a picture of you. How you look when you’re doing things that you love, how you help people that are lost in their worst nightmares.” She smiled, the memory both sweet and sad, “I remember thinking– with everything going on, the one thing I remember best when I first really talked to you? Was how bright you are.”

Chrissy smiled, looking down, and brushed her thumb absently against the big chrome rings adorning the hand still holding hers.

“You've got the whole… all black, tough guy, stomping on tables, big denim and leather but when you take that off you're just… so bright. You know you're a lighthouse but you're also a candle, keeping the light around when the powers gone out. You couldn't know what was going on with me, but you knew there was something, and you cared enough to make me laugh in spite of it, just by being yourself. You don’t know how to take down the evil wizards or fight an army of monsters because a group of heroes is not who you fight for. And to be useful to someone else’s story was never what made people love you.”

Chrissy paused for a breath or two, then lowered the crown of her head to rest on top of his.

“If I had died, my last wish would've been to go back to your trailer’s living room. Or that bench beyond the field, or to sit at the lunch table full of people that you make an escape for, whatever place that'd bring me back to that glowing life in you. And if you can’t see how beautiful you are, I’ll be your eyes until you do.”

Eddie kept a death grip on her hand, a grip she tried to match, and a tear or two ran down her face. She wiped them away with her one free hand, and with her other she loosened her grip, then moved the thumb side to side, softly brushing against the skin on the back of his hand.

“Cheater.” Eddie mumbled to the bed, voice raw and quiet. “S’plagiarism. Half your damn speech.”

She huffed lightly at his joke, and smiled. “Well, I still mean it.”

“Of course you do.” he whispered, then shifted his head a bit. Chrissy sat up straighter again to give him space to move, but he didn't shift again.

Eddie's thumb started tracing the back of her hand, repeating the motion she unconsciously stopped. Chrissy started it again, and put her head back on top of Eddie's.

“I don't think plagiarism is the right word. Maybe inspiration.”

Eddie laughed.

“Yeah, y’pulled calling a grown-ass man ‘beautiful’ out of thin air.”

“What, do you not think you're pretty, Munson?” she challenged, ducking her head down to try and peer through his hair. 

“Oh, I'm just ‘pretty’ now?”

Chrissy bursted out laughing, and Eddie shot up, pushing back some of his hair to play into the theatrics even more.

“What happened to ‘beautiful’, Chrissington, hm?”

“You know what I mean–” she giggled.

“No, no, I see how it is–”

“You're beauuuuuutiful~~”

“Noooooope.”

“Gooooorgeous~~”

“You're flattery cannot convince me–”

“Ooo, ravishing!!”

“Oh my god–” he made a dumb gagging sound, sticking out his tongue and everything.

“Oh, that's where we draw the line.”

“Yes, god, never say that about me again.”

“Ravishing~~”

“NOPE!” He yelled, slapping hands over his ears, “Can't hear you!”

“Don't yell!” she hissed through another huge smile.

“WHAT? I CAN'T–”

“Stoooop,” she pulled his hands off his head with a laugh, “You’re going to get me kicked out.”

“Oh, sorry, forgot breaking the rules was a fate worse than death.”

“Stolen metaphors aside,” she said, coming back down from the chaos, “You’ll trust me on this, right?”

Eddie considered, catching his breath, residual joy and tears both lingering on his face. 

“Y’know, instinct says not to, but…” he hummed, then cracked a small smile, “Flattery works incredibly well with me, so I’ll take your word on it.”

[monsterkin-culture-is]

How do you know for sure if you have MD? I'm like, 99% sure I have it as I'm constantly daydreaming to the point it disrupts my life occasionally. But I'm just hesitant on that label as I don't know too much about it and don't know where to begin researching it.

Hiya Anon! I'm so sorry for the delay replying, unfortunately I only saw this whilst I was heading to college. This might end up a bit of a ramble but I'm going to at least attempt to organise it.

Diagnosis Talk:

MD is difficult in the fact that it's not a fully recognised disorder yet so there's no DSM-5 etc to use as a diagnostic guide.

Personally, I would consider it maladaptive once it's becoming a negative experience. This could look like: struggling to complete schoolwork/homework or chores because you can't stop daydreaming, losing time in your day-to-day life, losing information in class/meetings and becoming disconnected from/losing interest in your social life & family. In addition, it can also be the content of the daydreams becoming disturbing or causing you emotional distress when something negative happens in the plotline. That part isn't discussed as much but it's something I personally experience; e.g if a character dies in-story/scenario, I actually cry & genuinely grieve them for a while (sometimes a day, sometimes a fortnight for me). This isn't an exhaustive list nor is it a criteria where you need every single one, it's just what 'maladaptive' can look like.

The difference with immersive daydreaming is that it only happens when the person wants and it's purely for enjoyment.

There is an evaluative tool known as the MDS-16 (MDS meaning maladaptive daydreaming scale). I'll link this for you lower down in the research section!

When it comes to questioning, my #1 piece of advice would be don't stress. That's much easier said than done, but it's important to remember nothing will happen if you're wrong. If you mislabel it, no one is going to be upset. With maladaptive daydreaming, because it's unrecognised, there's even less pressure with self-diagnosis and there's no criteria you have to match. It's a label used to describe an experience. It's also important to remember that imposter syndrome is very common in all disorders & disabilities, physical and psychological, even after diagnosis.

Research Resources:

Eli Somer is the main researcher for Maladaptive Daydreaming and is the original creator of the term back in 2002. You can find some of his papers linked at the bottom of the Maladaptive Daydreaming Wikipedia Page as references (which I also recommend flicking through).

The MDS-16 is a self-assessment tool made by Somer & his associates. You can take it here on traumadissociation.com but other PDF versions are available on the internet. It has 16 questions and the result is the mean of your answers.

This is the official website for The International Consortium For Maladaptive Daydreaming Research. The ICMDR are an informal group of scientists conducting group research on MD. Their site hosts a lot of their research and resources to help you with MD.

The Parallel Lives Podcast is a great way to hear other people's experiences with MD (link leads to spotify).

Honestly I haven't read any papers on MD (I probably should) so don't worry about not doing enough research. I do recommend the MDS-16 especially though as it will help you reflect on the traits of MD you possess.

I hope some of this was helpful anon!! Feel free to send anymore questions you have through, hopefully I'll be able to respond a little quicker this time!! You're also welcome to talk about your experiences more. My DMs are open if you ever need to talk more privately. /gen /nf