#hopefully with it done i'll be posting more again

[eshehdafah]

With Xenoblade X DE now out on Switch, I wanted to come back to this. My reaction to the new story chapter of the game is mentioned below, but none of the content within it.

I said before that I've sent her back to do it all again in Fhail Ahm, and I've done it again for X DE. A woman with a completed arc, wakes up one morning to find herself back where it all started.

In many ways, I wanted this to be a mirror to look back over the past decade of my life, and see how much has changed. I played through the story and quests with newfound perspective on life, more compassion, and much more media literacy. Even though I used the old guidebook I had in order to ensure a 'perfect' run in terms of quest outcomes (at least when it came to character deaths), most of the time, I felt I didn't need to do so. The right thing to do, eight or nine times out of ten, was to just be rational and kind.

I will not spoil the contents of the new story chapter, as said before, but it left me in such a deep state of mourning that I genuinely think I'm going to file it as traumatic in terms of how it's affected me. I'm still not over it and likely never will be. But it's ok.

Viewed through the lens of a time travel story, a sudden change to the narrative can symbolise new hardships that sit in wait just outside of the known elements of the loop itself. We cannot cling to the past no matter how comforting it is, and must instead look to the future, and forge ahead heedless of what lays behind us.

I'm going to vent a little here. I'm going to be 27 in a few months, and I barely remember most of my life. Up until age 16/17 was just misery. 17-21/22 was not much better, learning I was trans and then struggling with the idea of it and the thought of coming out to my parents, a process which went very badly. In the same year, I also lost a whole friend group, and both of these events led to the creation of Ashe/Camellia as mentioned above in my original response to this post. From 2021 onwards, I had hoped things would get better, but from 2023 to now they have gotten to be some of the worst years of my life.

And yet, as said before, I must look to the future and force ahead. I'll hopefully be out of this room and away from my landlord soon. I want to really focus on my transition and self once I have my own place, caring for the scared little girl who continues to scream at the world. And Stella's still going to be there with me.

actually creating an oc at 16 and not really thinking much of it at the time but then having no choice but to carry her with you in your soul as you experience the next 10 years of your life and your first foray into adulthood and you return to her again and again in moments where you need comfort and familiarity and you wait to hear what happens to her next meanwhile everything is happening to you at once and next thing you know you're 26 and she's outgrown you by a decade but she's wiser and softer and less angry and so are you and there are lines at the corners of her eyes and you have them now too and you hear her voice again and it makes you feel like you're 16 sitting at your dad's computer desk again and its sad because you're not sitting there anymore and you never will again but its okay because she got the happy ending she wanted and you know that you will too. anyway.

[paintingpuff]

Tadinho - also known as the Poor Boy or the Crow Child, a Harvestman known to cruelly punish wrongdoers. After days of stalking and terrorizing, he will appear at one's door in the form of a child begging for aid.

One must follow all of his requests as a host before he leaves in the morning. If the host shows a hint of fear during that time, their soul is his.

Because he represents the death that people flee from, he is incapable of hurting those who hold no fear of dying.

[aliquidether]

Obbligato

[rosylix]

i love that yall scream with me abt felix and stuff lolllll. i feel weird sometimes like i shouldnt post if im not writing cus yall are pretty much here for my writing.. so if im not writing like no one cares abt me lol but idk its still fun and it makes me so happy that yall still think of me even when ive not been active like thats so sweet?? jdnsjfjjs IDKK i cant articulate my thoughts correctly rn but i just wanted to say ily guys! 🤍🤍

[multeasers]

Holy shit so much has happened in the past month and some days . First and foremost, though : while the hiatus is not over, zag is coming back eventually !! Residents of zag nation who are still here, I hope you are yippee'ing with glee :D !!!

Now, brief silliness aside, holy SHIT has so much gone on . A brief, actual tldr is that I'll be back sometime around August or September, depending on how things go, and that you can reach out to me on discord ( either by adding me while I have it up under the cut for a bit, or asking me for it later and I get it to you whenever I can ), but if you wanna read a whole lotta words that're half venting, half semi-explanation for why I left like I did :

Literally the day before I went on hiatus, my half brother and my younger sister dropped double whammies on us ; respectively, he broke both his ankles jumping off an 8ft drop in sandals like a dumbass, and everyone is scrambling to try and find a way to help my sister get through her last few classes of college, because FAFSA sucks major ass and also her poor student's salary is like Net Zero . My mom has had work stress since LAST YEAR piling on her more and more, and February was by far the worst month, and her being stressed has always stressed ME out because we do Not need her strokes coming back to haunt us when she's gone so long without them ; and then, while the actual diagnosis came here in early March, my grandma was finally officially diagnosed with alzheimer's ( she'd been diagnosed with dementia already ), and while we already knew it was coming way before it even happened like this,,,, god . I don't think mom anticipated the speed in which it'd hit any more than I did, because it's been absolutely brutal . I know it isn't fair for my patience to run thin in this case, all things considered, but it's hard to even Want to keep the peace when she's in this mean phase ( especially when she keeps bringing things up from when she was a lot more lucid that she'd already been trying to put me or mom down for, and that we for sure can't help at all because we've tried, but we won't get fully into all that ) . There's just no one else who can help her, and even less who want to, so mom and I have just tried our bests managing and trying to keep her from really just losing it . I can't say it's keeping mom and I from losing it any more than it does her, but all 3 of us are trying

To continue on with more unfortunate zag news is the fact that he won't be back until like, August or September though holy shit ; it'll be a matter of schedule for sure once mid-April hits, because I was already aware of everything going down then, but when I say the rest of the stuff that's gone down / going to go down around that time frame was a shocker,,,, zag has got 2 admit that it's all a little frazzling !! So I'm sorry I'll be gone so damn long 😭 I know I said initially that this hiatus would be longer than the rest, but I never thought it'd end up being THIS damn long,,,

At any rate, because it'll be so much time I'm away, what I said last time still holds : feel free to choose what you'd like to do regarding sticking around or not !!! My half brother had surgery today ( that I got roped into going to, which is a whole big story augh ) so I've got a bit of time to lurk, and thus I'll leave my discord towards the end of this so anyone who wants to continue interacting in any way can reach me, but if you decide / have already decided this is the end of our road, then there's no hard feelings on my end !! In fact, all I wanna say to that is I'll miss y'all, but thanks for sticking around for as long ( or briefly ) as ya did 🫂 and while I know anyone in the latter half likely won't see this, I just wanted the sentiment out there anyhow !

With that, though, that's the stuff ( well, as it pertains to just me / my family ) that influenced zag leaving like he did ; it most certainly isn't Every detail about what I've mentioned, but I felt like explaining this much because I Did mention possibly not coming back, and these had a significant role in coming to that conclusion ( and again, these pertain to me / my family, so I'm only mentioning what I'm comfy sharing at all ), so I felt it right to both address and apologize for it . Life has just been a lot lately, and these events combined with some other private matters just,,, have taken a lot outta me, honestly . Not that it's an excuse ( or, at least, I don't intend it to be one ), but sometimes I think stepping away for awhile is just easier,, and sometimes I think stepping away completely will be easiest ( it's all a matter of the headspace I'm in at the time, too, of course, which is also no excuse but is intended to be an explanation just as much ) . I know I can't get by on JUST explanations, though, and even if I could I'd feel like I can't, so like I said : I'm sorry to y'all that I let things get like that !! Since it's something that's clearly reoccurring ( and admittedly will likely continue to be, since it's just something I've always dealth with in various / similar ways throughout my life ), it's definitely something to figure out how to work on to minimize,, I'll do that in the time I'm away . Or at least try to !!

This is kinda all I've got now that I'm editing this before I head out again so uh . I said thanks in the tags if you read all this already, but thanks again if ya make it to the end of this, and see you guys whenever I'm back :D !

[melien]

[supercasey]

10,750 words, I am absolutely fucking insane, wtf

[wickedhawtwexler]

one good thing that's going to come out of me being unemployed for a bit is that i'm going to finally finish all my current quilting projects

[jichanxo]

still on the topic of titles: though i can see why you wouldn't, but isn't it hard for you to let go of placeholder names? and an unrelated new question: if i remember correctly, in senseific, you've completed writing the kuwagami part, but not the school stories part? do you have a problem with stringing it together, so that the relationships/events would fit with e/o naturally? (i hope i phrased that coherent enough)

this is long as usual, so

on titles:

the working titles are too literal and functional for me to get that attached to them, I think. It’s just shorthand for the larger idea itself. I suppose if there’s a placeholder title I like enough, then I’d keep it/adapt it into something similar. Funnily enough I’m probably likelier to think of titles/captions for my drawn artworks, though the file names themselves are still super literal lmao. those ones are usually the ones I’ve planned out in advance, because I want to convey a specific idea and it can be hard to do that visually without having a plan. 

obligatory examples: this arasawa piece -- the text itself was a key part of the storytelling, so this one was decided early, about the same time as my initial sketches. it's two parts, duty and desire, conveyed in imagery and words, both important. this schrödinger's cat themed umineko artwork -- i didn't really have anything concrete for this for a long while, but this was always about flux and uncertainty, so the words were always floating around in my head when i was making this.

on senseific:

STRINGING THE TWO PLOTLINES TOGETHER, OH BOY. this is very much something I have to just… wait and see on. If my process for the kuwagami plotline is any indication, then I probably will have to rewrite/shift things around when I find something doesn’t work. That’s part of why I made an excel sheet for this fic, so I (hopefully) can see which parts aren’t meshing and how I might be able to resolve them. Move things around, put them earlier or later, etc. and of course, there needs to be breathing room so it feels like they have lives that exist outside of each other. I’m feeling kind of nervous thinking about it right now. I suppose I just have to try?

I have tried to consider where these two plotlines would interact, but I just need more details to make sure I get it right, hence my need for note taking. I've also left a bunch of gaps so that there's room to let it grow in between kuwagami stuff.

The school related (as in, including school stories but also other stuff that takes place there) stuff I have right now is something like: 

Thing I invented for the intro

Follow up to this, resolution, lead into kuwagami story beat 

the conclusion to the dance club story (as far as my vague memory could get me), but With Kitakata. since the dance club is so early, it was an easy choice as a kind of starting point

Itokura related thing I invented and desperately need to flesh out 

Follow up to that 

(Imagine a big gap of time here) 

6. big moment that’s simultaneously a kuwagami beat and a school story beat -- yagami's continued refusal to trust kitakata or let him in on the investigation, resulting in the two of them getting into a physical fight. amasawa ends up going to sawa sensei to get them to break it up, and yagami realises that kitakata has a right to be worried for his students and shutting him out was a dick move actually (spoilers? but I’ve already talked about this scene before, so…) 

and from this last point it's pretty obvious that kitakata has to be involved with the conclusion of the case. i haven't written anything yet because i need to do the rest first, but this is almost certainly happening despite not being written down yet

but yeah, because my process is Like This, I kind of have no choice but to present the story in chronological order to make sure that everything progresses logically. ...honestly the structure of the ever-changing is obscenely impressive to me, I suppose it’s the power of planning — that you can go back and forth in time while keeping it meaningful and coherent. I love it so much… I will never stop singing the praises of the ever-changing, genuinely...

anyway, while i say the kuwagami plot is done, it's still pretty open, it's just that i've locked in what i think the major conflicts and resolutions are for that relationship. there's still room for the other plot to grow into (i hope) and in worst case I can tinker a bit with rewriting some stuff to make it work.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[allmoshnobrain]

are you gonna make me cry with Heartbreaker 25?

🩷🖤

Oh no, anon! 25 is not gonna be too sad I promise

Parts 26 and 27 on the other hand are... Complicated

[kellystar321]

.

[moomoorare]

OKAY today I'll draw a lot!!

[ilikerafayelwaytoomuch]

How the LADS men react to their gf showing physical affection, who is a bit scared to show affection

A/N: a post with all the lads boys this time...hopefully I did them justice

Tags/warnings: she/her pronouns used (should i try using gender neutral terms?), s/o has a little fear of vulnerability (can you see a pattern haha), s/o in raf's may be a bit too specific (she is described to have a passion for music), fluff <3

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Rafayel 

Music softly filled the living room of the artist's house. A classic played, one of Beethoven's symphonies. Rafayel always experimented painting with different music playing, seeing what emotions it could evoke. His girlfriend loved that about him, as she had a passion for music. She smiled softly as she stood in the hallway. Rafayel sat on a stool, his back to her, an easel and canvas in front of him, a brush slowly moving across it. Y/n didn't want to interrupt, really. But a recent breakdown has caused the couple to have a conversation and she promised she would try to be more vulnerable with him. Even though it scared her. She wanted to start small. Right now she really really wanted a hug from her boyfriend. That shouldn't be too much to ask. 

Nervously, she made her way into the room and approached Rafayel. She hesitated for a moment, but continued. “Cutie?” Rafayel questioned, hearing footsteps, but not turning to look or stop his painting. Y/n said nothing and waited for his brush to finish the stroke before nervously wrapping her arms around him, placing her head onto his back. She felt extremely embarrassed. There was no reason to. This was Rafayel. Her Rafayel. Her boyfriend. The man let out a soft gasp in surprise and tensed up. “Wha- you-” he spluttered. 

“Wan’ a hug,” she mumbled into his back. It took Rafayel a moment to process, not used to the sudden display of affection from his lover. When his brain began to work again, his heart soared. He placed his pallet and brush down before turning around and wrapping his arms around her, squeezing her almost too much with a happy giggle. “Mmm. What should I do? This painting has to be done by tomorrow, but my baby needs my cuddles,” he sighed. Y/n tried to back away, not wanting to harm his work. Her ears still burned with embarrassment and she was sure her face matched. Maybe this was all a bad idea. Rafayel wouldn't let her break away, pulling her closer. 

“Sorry, I'll-” she began, but was interrupted by Rafayel quickly dropping his arms to hold her thighs and lift her into his arms. 

“Ah well, what can you do,” he sang. Y/n glanced up at him to see a huge, dorky smile on his face. “Feels even better when you initiate a hug then me hugging you,” he admitted. The girl felt her face flush again and she hid her face in his neck. “Cute,” he pressed a kiss to her hair. “But seriously, I know that was hard for you. I admire your vulnerability. And of course I will happily cuddle you for the rest of the night! Should we head to bed early or watch that movie you wanted?” The girl was speechless and just shrugged, making him laugh. “Aww is my cutie still embarrassed? There's nothing to be embarrassed about.” She whined in response. She felt her weight shift as Rafayel sat down on his couch. Rafayel hummed. “Can I make you be a bit more vulnerable and give me a kiss?” He asked. Y/n sighed and took a brief moment to breathe before lifting her face to look at him. She quickly kissed his lips before returning to her hiding spot. Rafayel couldn't hold back his laugh, holding her tightly as he shook with laughter. 

Minutes later, she heard the TV turn on, the pre-movie credits playing. Rafayel moved his girlfriend somewhat begrudgingly, so that she was now sitting next to him, her legs across his lap. She looked at him confused. He nodded towards the TV. “Kind of hard for you to watch if you're just pressed against my chest, no?” He asked, moving his arm to wrap around her back, the other reaching for her hand and placing a kiss on it. “And don't worry, I'll definitely be getting my real kiss later. As many as I want,” he winked at her. Safe to say he did not complete his painting that night, which wasn't abnormal for the artist. He had more important things to do. 

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Sylus 

The Onychinus base was dark. A few lights leading y/n to the boss. Sylus was in his study, working on something. She wasn't sure what, but she didn't intend to stay long. It weighed heavily on her mind that she never initiated any physical contact with Sylus, her boyfriend. He hadn't said anything, but she had been in her head about it. If she were dating someone and they never initiated anything, she'd think they didn't really like her. She didn't want Sylus to think that. The problem was she's not good at initiating contact. It terrifies her. So even when she wanted to, she held back. But after thinking, she decided she would initiate physical contact, no matter how scary. Starting small of course. Today's plan of action? A hug before she went off to bed. It wasn't unusual for her to say goodnight to the man, but he was always the one to wave her over to hug or kiss her. Tonight she wasn't going to let him. 

The girl softly knocked on the door, opening it slowly and peeking in. Sylus’s brow raised, pleased by the sudden interruption. He looked down at his watch, unaware of his girlfriend swiftly making her way across the room. He opened his mouth to speak, but was shocked by how close she now was. Wordlessly, she climbed into his chair with him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around him. “Just wanted to say goodnight,” she whispered. Y/n wanted to sound confident, but her voice betrayed her, shaking slightly. Sylus smiled, his large hands resting on her back. “This is quite the surprise,” Sylus began, not wanting to push her too far. Of course he had noticed his girlfriend's behavior. He could tell when she wanted a hug or kiss, but then did nothing about it. He didn't say anything, not wanting to push her and trusting she would when she was ready. It didn't bother him that she never kissed him. It bothered him that she wanted to kiss him, but didn't. Sylus was determined to do everything in his power to let you be comfortable to take what you wanted from him. “I always come say goodnight,” y/n tried to play off the action. He chuckled. 

“Yes, and I love that. But,” he hesitated, unsure how to put his feelings into words that wouldn't hurt her unintentionally. “You never do this. Not that I mind. I'm happy you're finally taking what you want from me.” 

“Can I take more?” She quietly asked. 

“You can take anything and everything from me,” he replied. 

“Come to bed? At least for a little bit. I know you have work to do, but-” she was cut off by Sylus standing, carrying her to his bedroom. He placed her down gently, tucking her into bed before getting in next to her and wrapping his arms around her again, her head tucked into his neck. He lifted her head and pressed a slow kiss to her lips, appreciating her actions. “Take whatever you want. Goodnight, love.” 

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Xavier 

Y/n paced back and forth in her apartment. She had woken up in the middle of the night, a nightmare interrupting her sleep. What had caused her to pace however, was a decision she had to make. Her dreams had been plagued with memories of what happened to her grandmother, her death anniversary coming up. When she woke up, she felt horribly lonely and the thought of her boyfriend a few apartments down almost made it worse. She was an adult, she could handle a little nightmare and just go back to bed. Or she could get in the elevator and go see Xavier. He wouldn't mind, right? But her boyfriend loved his sleep. Like a lot. She didn't want to interrupt that. Plus he had just gotten back from a mission, only texting to let her know he got back safe and was headed to bed. She decided she could be stealthy enough, putting on some slippers and heading out the door. 

The building was quiet, which made sense because it was the middle of the night. But it was cold and y/n regretted not grabbing a coat, only in her pj's. The elevator seemed to move slower and she wondered if she should just turn around and deal with this alone as she always had. But the last time she had a nightmare, Xavier happened to be over and she told him she would come to him if it happened again. She technically already broke that promise, having a similar dream soon after but dealing with it alone. This one however, felt more intense. She would not be getting any sleep after it. The bell dinged and she excited the elevator, walking over to his apartment. 

She didn't bother knocking, just using the spare key he gave her and opening the door suddenly. She was a bit surprised to see her boyfriend asleep on the couch- his arm draping off the side. This presented a new problem. He was clearly so tired after the mission, he passed out on the couch, still wearing his uniform. Y/n bit her lip in thought. Her original plan was to just get into bed next to him and sleep, but that wasn't possible with him on the couch. She'd have to wake him up. She'd have to tell him about her nightmare and that she wanted to stay with him. It was too much. As she turned to leave, she was stopped. “Is that you y/n?” Xavier had spoken through a yawn. “Are you okay?” Her hand froze on the doorknob of his door, not knowing if she should book it or not. But she wanted to get some rest. She wanted her boyfriend's comfort. 

“I had another nightmare,” y/n finally said, turning around to see her boyfriend now sitting up on the couch. He smiled sleepily at her. “Mm come to bed with me. Too cold to sleep alone anyway,” he stood, stretching. She nodded and walked over to him, unable to hold back and hugging him. He held her back, saying nothing even when he felt a few hot tears fall on his shoulder. “You're okay now. Thank you for coming to me,” he whispered to her. She nodded and backed away. Xavier gently wiped her face with his fingers. “Let me change and I'll meet you in bed?” She nodded and they headed to his room. 

Once in something more comfortable, Xavier got into his bed, spooning his girlfriend. He sighed happily, nuzzling into her neck. Y/n felt better. Warm. Being held by the one she loved most, she was able to find rest that night. 

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Zayne 

When the door to his apartment opened, Zayne was greeted by his girlfriend wrapping her arms around him. He was a bit surprised, not expecting her to be there. He hugged her back, not letting go. He always made sure to not let go first, knowing his girlfriend. She struggled to show her affection, so when she did he made sure to not break away early, soaking up all the affection he could from her. Usually, her hugs were brief, but today's wasn't. She held onto him, breathing in his scent. Zayne hesitated for a moment on whether to let go. But decided against it, thinking there must be a reason. “You smell good,” y/n murmured. 

“Is that so? I just got out of a five hour surgery,” he questioned. Maybe she believed she needed a reason to hug him longer than normal because he surely didn't smell good. 

“Oh,” she hesitated, her excuse nullified. 

“Is everything okay?” Zayne softly asked. 

“Yeah, I just,” she hesitated again. “Wanna hold you. I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” he smiled. “Not that I want to let you go, but what is that smell?” 

“Oh, I cooked you some dinner. I figured you'd be hungry.” 

“You didn't have to do that.” 

“I know,” she replied, breaking away from the hug to look at him and smile. “I just wanted to. I figured we could eat and then watch a movie tonight?” 

“Sounds lovely. Let me go wash up,” he smiled at her before disappearing into his room. Y/n moved to his kitchen, playing the food she had prepared for them. Nothing fancy, but tasty nonetheless. Zayne had returned unnoticed, only making himself known when he wrapped his arms around her, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek. The two said nothing, only swaying in the kitchen to unheard music. “The foods gonna get cold,” y/n warned. Zayne sighed, but agreed, releasing her to sit down and eat. 

Zayne has refused to let y/n do the dishes after they had finished. Arguing that she had done so much to prepare it, it was only fair he cleaned up. She eventually listened, going to set up the movie in the living room. He joined her, sitting down next to her and grabbing a side blanket- her favorite. Even though she bought the blanket for him to “liven up his house”, she used it anytime she came over, snuggling into it. When the movie began, Zayne watched as his girlfriend excitedly cuddled up to him, pulling the blanket onto them both. They were quiet for a while, enjoying each other's company and the movie. The movie had slowed, the plot not being very intense. “You know you don't have to do all of this to cuddle with me,” Zayne whispered to her. She nodded, blushing slightly. 

“I know. I wanted to. It somehow makes it easier than outright asking for you to hold me. That still scares me,” she admitted. 

“Well first off, thank you for the dinner and everything. It was very nice. Second, you don't have to say anything or do anything grand. You can just pull me down here to the couch or bed and I'll happily hold you as long as you need. I know you show your love through actions, so I'm not saying to stop doing that. I'm just saying it's not necessary or a prerequisite to physical touch,” he explained. She nodded and looked at him with a smile. 

“I know, promise. It's nice to hear I don't have to get to the point of straight up asking you for what I want though. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough.” 

“And if not, that's okay. I like to think I know you pretty well and can understand your hints no matter how small.” 

“Oh really? Then what do I want right now?” She asked, eyes sparkling.

“A kiss,” he answered simply, leaning in to do just that. When he pulled back, he noticed her face erupted into a cute blush. “Was I wrong?” He asked. She shook her head, embarrassed that he truly had known. No one else had ever paid that much attention to her. “I love you Zayne,” y/n told him. 

“And I love you too.” 

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Caleb 

It was surprising to y/n that she struggled to be “touchy feely” with her current boyfriend. They were childhood friends after all. She was more comfortable with him than anyone, even after everything that happened. Caleb never said anything about it, probably knowing she had this struggle with everyone. He never pushed it either. To him, that's just his girlfriend. She's everything he's ever wanted and more. Sure, she struggles to be a bit vulnerable and come to him for a hug or cuddle or kiss, but that was okay. He was happy to initiate all of that. But for y/n, it was something that made her insecure. In relationships, you were supposed to hug and kiss and sure she and Caleb did, but she never kissed him. She had hugged him plenty of times, but holding his hand and kissing him was another story. She wanted to, of course, they were dating now. But it terrified her for some reason. The judgement from others maybe was part of it, another that for some reason if she initiated anything Caleb would be disgusted with her. She knew it was irrational, but that didn't make it any easier. 

Today was one of the rare days they both had off and Caleb was in town. They had spent most of the day indoors, playing games, ordering food and spending time with each other. But after a while, they got a little stir crazy and decided to head to a nearby park to go on a little walk and then maybe grab some dinner. The sun was out and it overall was a beautiful day. They walked down the path, chatting and messing around with each other. Y/n had run ahead, telling Caleb that he was still the slowest person ever. When he caught up, her heart thumped in her chest, more so due to nerves than the exercise. She tried to be as natural as possible as she grabbed his hand next to hers, holding it and swinging it slightly by her side. She said nothing. She couldn't even look at him, suddenly finding the trees around them to be the most interesting thing she's ever seen. But the flush of her cheeks told a different story. 

When Caleb felt his girlfriend's soft fingers hold his, he thought his heart would combust. He immediately turned to her, to find her blushing and looking away. He was shocked, knowing that this was something that was hard for her. He always said that it was okay she never held his hand out kissed him and he really thought that. But now he wasn't so sure he could go back. “Someones gotten braver,” he commented, making her pout. 

“It's just hand holding,” she muttered, moving their hands in front of them so they could see their hands intertwined. “Oh really? But you've never grabbed mine before,” he reasoned. She dropped their hands back to their sides. 

“Yeah well, a lot has changed,” she shrugged, trying to play it cool. Caleb laughed at her. “I returned almost a year ago and we started dating soon after. And only now you take my hand?” He teased. “Something big must have changed in the past two weeks.” 

“Yep,” she agreed, not breaking her act. “So much has changed that I can even do this.” She suddenly stopped walking and pressed a kiss to his lips. Caleb froze and she took the opportunity to let go of his hand and run away. When he returned to reality, he heard her laughing, his personal favorite song as she ran away from him. “Don't think you can get away with that!” He called after her, running to catch up, a huge grin on his face.

[dyed-indigo]

some fun sketches of my sona

[johnslittlespoon]

morning reblog + snippet <3 need to get in the habit of doing this but somehow once the chapter is actually posted i get nervous despite sharing bits and pieces the whole time i'm writing lol?? silly!

sappy but waking up to the ao3 comment emails had me giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair this morning, i rly do tear up reading them, i'm so so thankful for every interaction on this fic and ik i repeat myself every time i post a new chapter but i just. appreciate the love so much and i'm so grateful for the patience i've been shown as i navigate a proper long fic for the first time!! wowie

idk what i did to deserve stumbling into a fandom so kind and sweet and supportive and INSANELY creative and talented (simultaneously thanking barry and hating him for getting me attached to that precious little lieutenant and then ripping him away just as fast fml), i genuinely feel so lucky to have something to be excited about every day and as much as i love writing this fic, i can't wait to be done so i can lock in and pour over all my friends' fics and give back so much love :')))

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man)

Ch. 5/8 – 'I Count My Time In Dog Years'

[WC: 27K | Gale Cleven/John Egan, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Requited Unrequited Love]

John Egan loves like a dog.

[AO3 LINK]