#hopefully will have it done for today! and hopefully have it done alongside another OC ref

[bvannn]

Weekly Update February 2, 2024

I think I’m mostly better. The medicine I take is once a week, and it’s supposed to last me all week. Last week it brought me through about Tuesday, this week I was good until Wednesday, hopefully next week it’ll last the full week. I’m doing fine today too because Fridays are when I administer it. I think I’ll be fine real soon. Unfortunately I am swamped with homework, but I can manage it pretty soon.

This week as far as art projects was mainly me messing with music. I found the trick to getting good electronic instruments, and that is a little free plugin called Krush. I don’t know why music software companies like mortal kombat so much that they spell everything like that, but the ones that do make nice stuff so I won’t judge. I also started fiddling with Melodies for some instrumental themes for OCs, Shaun and Romeo are first up for that, planning to make progress tonight. Cleaned up my other project files as well and found a nice bass and drum line I must’ve made while I was delirious on medicine after surgery bc I don’t remember making it but it sounds nice so I’ll keep it. I’m the process of cleaning up a Zelda medley, I’ll probably post the piano version of that alongside the full instrumental. Finally, another one that’s set for vocals even though I technically haven’t finished the first one. I’m impulsive. The first one is just missing vocals and lyrics really so once I’m in a good headspace I’ll try to lyric out both of these in one go and fiddle with vocaloid after I know what words I want.

I also finally started prodding at Vocaloid 5. I’m going with v5 over v4 because it has a more user friendly UI and I’m under the impression that the attack and release feature is unique to v5, although I may be wrong on that. I’m still not sure exactly which voicebanks I’ll want to use, obviously the Kagamines would be a good choice because having a male and female option packaged together is cool, but the Zolas are also a package deal and have a bit more variation amongst them. I’m not sure how well they do English though, since they’re not built for it. I mean I guess people won’t really care, people still seem to be big fans of the Vflower English songs even though she’s also not built for english *or the genre most of those songs are* and they eat them up anyway. The Zolas are also less marketable than the Kagamines or Vflower, though. Also I guess Miku is an option and probably an inevitability if I do start making vocaloid music but I don’t need to start with her, you know? Idk maybe I’ll keep working on song stuff and consider which vocal fits the best, maybe I’ll draw them a bit too, see how much demand there is.

I haven’t been doing any comic work because I’ve still been sick, plus now I’m waffling since I don’t have a big animation project anymore and I guess I could fill the void by making that project an animation, but I’m still unsure. It might be smart to do both, and at a minimum my thumbnailing out the comic makes sure that everything is paced correctly and the dialogue flows. Tonight I’m hoping to pick back up where I left of before I got sick: I had finished the first third of the first ‘episode’, and was moving on to act 2.

Today especially I’ve been bit by the TTRPG bug again and kinda want to write out and draw stuff for that, but normally I do my best conceptual writing while I’m delirious in bed after my sleep medicine is kicked in but before I fall asleep. I stayed up late last night alternating between chemistry homework and playing ghost trick so tonight should be a good night for writing. Maybe I’ll get more comic outline writing done too, who knows.

And finally I also just really need to get more drawings done. I posted those epithet challenge ones the other day, which people seem to like. And I really want to do a drawing of Lynne, I like her because she reminds me of an OC of mine, can’t say which one or why though because that’s a spoiler for both characters. I really need to do more art in general, so I threw together a wheel of small little doodles to do, but all that still relies on me having free time, which is a lot scarcer now that I’m working. Still, if I get back into the habit of chugging out those comic pages, I can probably do a little more.

I’m still not sure what to do tonight. I keep flipping back and forth over whether I want to do music or drawing, and end up with little in the way of posting. I did find out that I can post audio to tumblr easy now, so I’ll try to do that more often. Idk. I’m exhausted from today specifically, and this past week has been busy, but I’m hoping it’ll die down and I can do more this upcoming week.

[starshine-selfships]

Been drawing pretty much every day in prep for artfight, but have decided to make a little something else on the side 👀 💕

[adiabolikpastel]

Blog Update & Changes

Hello Everyone!

It's that time once again where I give you a huge run down of all that is happening, what I want to happen, and any changes that will be coming to the blog. There hasn't been a big long formal one of these in a long time - since 2019 - so I feel like we are due.

So, click under the read more for important info regarding the blog. I will be starting with the item that will cause the most changes and confusion moving forward, so please give at least that a read.

♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧

Blog Changes

As everyone knows by now - there are A LOT of Original Characters on this blog. How things are currently, they all have been existing in the same universe - welp, I am thinking that all that ends today.

Here is why

It is a lot of work to keep all of them consistent with one another. Since they all start at such different places, having some characters look a certain why - while others are older, but some ships don't start till later- it is a lot to keep track of.

The Solution

From this point on, I am going to be splitting up the Universe. While they will all still be here on this blog, some are not going to know one another anymore. Since I have been on this blog for so long, I have acquired some NPC type OCs. Some of them are from friends who left the fandom, while others are of my own creation.

I have all ready worked out the different AUs, they are as follows;

Tormented Reverie / TR: Another Daydream

Happening alongside the games cannon, Yuuki Koishikawa finds herself abandoned to a mansion of vampires. After being tormented by the six brothers of the house, Kanato Sakamki becomes the one to be in charge of her. What may have started as an unwanted match, may just turn into a perfectly tragic love story.

A year into the cannon, Yuki Awashima has come under the guardianship of a Dr. Reinhart after an accident befell his family. Suffering from amnesia, he finds comfort in a rather promiscuous upper class men, Laito Sakamaki. While the vampire isn't keen on his new stalker, the two may just be able to find something to make this awkward love story work.

Universe SC (to be named later)

Somewhere along the parallel of the cannon, Skye Oakly is a young siren who has left his old life. Now finding himself working for the biggest baddie of the night, Karlhainz. While being secretary to the most powerful demon has its perks, it doesn't make for a very sincere love life.

Five years after the cannon, Callista Lorne, youngest daughter to the esteemed Adler Clan, is now engaged to the eldest son of the Bat Clan- Shu Sakamaki. While the two don't seem to have terrible chemistry, the marriage isn't ideal. Add in an attractive younger brother and things may just get interesting.

The After Math

So since I all ready have works done that cross the universes, I am going to leave those alone. L.E.M being the best example, I am not going to mess all that work up. So if there are things in the archives that have the universes merged, simply take those are they are.

If you have any questions about this change, please feel free to ask. I know it seems like it's going to change things, but it really wont in the long run.

If you ever get confused, you can always check out my Blog Guidelines and see if that is any help!

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

Blog Now - What is Happening?

The last time we checked in - I was merging my blogs! How far we have come since then!

Right now, the blog is going through it's normal overhaul. I am never satisfied with things as they are, constantly changing the looks, tags, making new master post. The organization can always be updated.

So lets see...

I have commissions in the works. I have installment projects going on with @eyelessdoll-y , @dags-sz & @squira180 ~ They are all working on hard, and I am so excited to be working with such talented artist! @seven-re and I have a few things going as well~ A big piece and then hopefully some more things on the way!

I am also doing some Role playing with @the-sloth-woman ~ We do a lot of Alrick x Skye stuff, which I post completed works on my role play blog. @adiabolikpastelrp

There is also...

I swear there is writing in the works. I am so bad about getting things out, but there is a story in my head! These will be posted however I can get to them. If you wanna keep up with what is happening, you can always look at the Mun Yu's Journal Tracker. I update that as I go to keep track myself!

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

Mun Yu Updates

That just leaves...

I officially graduated with my first degree in August! That gives me an AAS in Early Childhood Education. It was able to make the deans list each semester, and won the award of excellence for the schools of Science, Education and Arts.

I started attending my new university, where I am pursuing an Bachelor's Degree in Human Resources. Classes have begun, and boy am I feeling those! They are much more difficult than my last once, but I am confident I will continue this journey!

Over the summer, in July, my fiance re-proposed to me~! I now have an official ring on my finger! We are planning to marry next October, so that is exciting! We have been together for almost 11 years so it's been a long time coming.

I believe that's all for me! Thank you sticking around until the end! As a prize, here is some info on the newest NPC to join Universe S.

Race: Lapin(e) (Rabbit Demon)

Sex: Female

Height: 4’ 11”

Occupation: Servant for the Vibora Clan

And that'll do it! As always, thank you for all the love and support throughout the years. To all my new followers, I am so grateful you a here. For all my ride or dies, your support has been a blessing.

Unit Next Time!

[goldenretriever-nicknelson]

I just really like your writing you do of Tom Holland and I was wondering if could do like reader/oc (either one is fine don't mind one over the other) but she is Tom's girl and a nurse and Tom talks about her on like a talk show and is just proud of her for helping others and like could the talk show be like Jimmy Fallon or Graham Norton show ( dont really mind either one too). Please and Thank you. ( ps. This is my first request so I really dont know how they work at all!😁)

Sorry this request took so long love but I finally got inspiration for it. You probably don’t even remember sending it aha but here you go and hope you enjoy! 

A/n: Okay so I choose Graham Norton a) because Tom is gold on that show and b) it’s not taped live and is filmed in London so it works better. This is just some fluff and if you want me to make a fic out of it let me know and I’ll see what I can do because I really enjoyed writing it!

Word count: 1.6k 

Warnings: I’m not a nurse so probably some inaccuracies there, cute fluff, mentions of a hospital setting. 

“We also have Tom Holland on the show tonight.” You watched on the small screen as the crowd cheered loudly and it made you smile. 

It was just past half ten as you sat on the small sofa in the nurses break room, a hot cup of coffee held in your hands warning you up and most importantly keeping you awake. You were quite thankful really, your break had lined up perfectly with your boyfriend’s appearance on the Graham Norton show and since you were understaffed that night it was just you on break.  

“So Tom I hear there’s a new romance on the cards for you?” Graham asked and you almost choked on a sip of coffee you took. Tom’s face came on the screen, the lighting letting you see his slight blush. 

“Well actually we’ve been dating for 6 months now.” Tom said proudly, smiling at the camera since he knew you would be watching. Your heart pounded tightly in your chest, although your relationship was no longer a secret, it was still the first time Tom had acknowledged the relationship on television.

“Here you both are on your instagram.” The picture that Tom had used to announce your relationship was on the screen; a selfie of Tom kissing your cheek and you smiling. A collective aww was heard from the audience as Tom blushed. “You kept that quiet didn’t you?.” Graham noted with a laugh and you giggled behind your cup as Tom shrugged with a smirk. 

“Yeah well there’s no one better at keeping secrets than me.” From the left of Tom, Jake let out a loud scoff with a thumb gesturing towards him. Tom rolled his eyes before letting out a laugh, not being able to keep up the act. 

“Seriously, she’s amazing and I know she’ll be working when she sees this but I want her to know I’m so proud of her.” Tom sent a wink to the camera and you felt your heart soar above it’s normal rate. He rambled on for a bit about how you were a nurse and more words of how proud he was before the topic was changed to the Far from home movie. 

You sniffled into a tissue as Tom’s words hit a place in your heart, warming you up even more than the coffee had. You were just listening to Tom Hanks speak about Toy Story 4 when there was a knock on the door, you assumed your break was over so you got back up just as the door opened.

It wasn’t your co-worker but instead your boyfriend holding a bouquet of flowers and a dopey smirk. He looked unsure if he should be there before you gasped and wrapped your arms around him. 

“Tommy what are you doing here?” 

“I came to surprise my best girl and to let her know how proud I am of her with these-“ Tom tried to turn the package to see the name of the flowers, forgetting what the florist had told him before he gave up at your small giggle. “Flowers.”

“They’re beautiful.” You took them and smelled the sweet scent before placing them in water in the side of the break room kitchen so you could collect them after your shift. 

“And so are you.” He kissed your lips and you sighed. “Is your shift over soon?” He asked hopefully, noticing the tired bags underneath your eyes and hoping to take you home and snuggle whilst eating a large pizza. 

“Oh Tommy I’m sorry, I said I’d work overtime tonight.” You but your lip as Tom’s shoulder sagged slightly. “Michelle is getting worse and she won’t talk to any of the other nurses plus we’re understaffed again.” Tom ran a hand down your cheek and then cupped it so he could pull you into a kiss. 

“I’ll have dinner/breakfast all ready for you when you get home.” He smiled warmly before pecking your lips gently again. “Go save some lives.” 

You laughed and shook your head. “We’re not all superheroes Tom.” You smirked as your forehead leant against his. The talk show was still running in the background which made Tom smile even wider when he realised what you were watching.

“You’re my superhero. You could save anybody with that smile.”

You sighed against his lips as he kissed you again, a blush highlighting your cheeks. It was far from a romantic setting with the cold, dimness of the break room, the old coffee machine whirring on alongside the tv in the background and yet your heart still fluttered, the butterflies in your stomach running rampant. 

There was another knock on the door that made you pull back away from Tom. Your co-worker appeared in her matching colour scrubs, a kind smile painted on her lips.  “Hey y/n, Michelle’s asking for you.” 

“I’ll be right there.” You called over Tom’s shoulder, smiling back at her before you said your goodbyes to your boyfriend for the night. He kept chasing your lips and making you giggle. “Tommy.” Your voice was amused but with a slight hint of sadness that warned him you had to go.

“Okay goodnight love, go be a superhero.” You laughed and nodded, winking at Tom as he watched you leave. 

When he saw himself out he bumped into your co-worker who smiled at him and told him that you were a lucky girl. She was married and he knew there was no underlying flirty tone which made him sigh in relief. 

“No I’m the lucky one.” Tom corrected before exiting the doors, a smile that crinkled his eyes on his face as he spotted you smiling at your patient. 

Tom sat at home with his half of the pizza as he watched an old friends rerun. He wistfully looked over it your side of the couch and sighed. As proud as he was there were times when he wished you were nowhere else rather than in his arms laughing at the jokes that you’d watched a thousand times but still found funny. 

He hated it even more when your schedules would clash and you would go days, weeks or months even without seeing each other. But at the end of the day you came home to each other and that was worth the pain of being apart for so long. 

You came home at 6am and found your half of the pizza in the fridge, your favourite chocolate bar next to it with a note that simply said “I love you.” And it was enough to make you smile tiredly as you heated up the pizza and ate away happily before cleaning up. You got changed into one of Tom’s shirts and snuck into your side of the bed, wrapping yourself into Tom’s warmth. 

The next night at the hospital was a slow one, You mainly sat with Michelle who had been your patient for the past week and who seemed to have grown a liking to you above the other nurses who the young teen refused to talk to. 

“Can we play cards again?” You pretended to think about it for a moment before pulling the pack of marvel cards she loved from your pockets. You set up a game of go fish and was just about to start when there was a knock on her door. 

“Hey!” 

Your jaw dropped as you watched a familiar red and blue suit appear in the doorway. You stopped yourself from calling his actual name as he looked at you, you could sense the smile beneath his mask. 

Michelle gasped and sat up straighter especially as Zendaya walked in behind him. Tom walked over and shook Michelle’s hand. 

“Hi I’m Spider-man.” Tom took off the mask and shook his curls which made you stifle a giggle. He sent you a wink before turning back to the young girl who was looking back and forth between Tom and Zendaya in shock. “You must be Michelle.” 

Michelle gave a small shy nod before looking to Zendaya who held out her fist for a bump.

“Michelle is an awesome name.” Zendaya smiled and the younger girl reached out to give her a hug. Z gave a grin and hugged back.

“Is this your nurse?” Tom’s eyes glanced at you before looking back to Michelle who nodded. “She’s pretty.” The girl giggled as you blushed, rolling your eyes covertly. 

“Her names y/n.” Michelle whispered and you felt yourself smile wider as Tom got up and held out his hand for you to shake. He wore a smirk and you matched it.

“Hi y/n it’s nice to meet you!” His queens accent was as adorable as always and never failed to make him you smile. You returned the greeting before he was focusing his attention back on Michelle who was still sat in awe.

“Do you wanna see me do a backflip?” Tom asked and Michelle nodded quickly, you joined in. He sent you a smirk before finding a space and flipping over. He showed off by doing two and Michelle burst into laughter and applause which you and Z joined in on. 

At the end of your shift, Tom came to pick you up still dressed in his Spider-Man suit which made you and your coworkers laugh. You lifted the mask up to kiss his lips before taking it off entirely. 

He drove you home and he let you rant about day, his hand rubbing sweetly on his thighs. When you got home he cooked you dinner, letting you relax and get changed before you helped him out. You sat down and ate, chatting happily as you felt yourself relax for the first time in weeks. 

Tom even ran you a bath, complete with candles and soft music before you both got into bed, snuggling under the covers and fighting against the cold London air with each other’s body heat. He peppered kisses to your face and lips as he spoke about how proud he was of you and you returned his words about him and what he had done at the hospital today.

You slept contently that night with Tom’s arms tight around you and the amount of love for him in your heart practically radiating from you. 

Blurb taglist || @devin-marie @marvelrreigns @ssebstann @ilytomholland @peterparkerstingle @tyemmamarvel @i_love_peter_parker_3000 @zombiegoddezz @spideyboipete @nishanki1 || 

Join my blurb taglist here>>

[marveliter]

Invincible

Summary: Roberta Ross has the best life living with her mother and spending the summer with her best friend, but what happens when a certain someone shows up and flips her life upside down? She's asked to join a team of incredible people and fight alongside her incredible father, but does she want to?

CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER ONE  CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE

Characters: OCs + Marvel Characters

Warnings: sharks!

A/N: this is super short but wait till next chapter!!

"Ollie! Ollie stop!" I shout as I grab the throttle to slow the engine down. Once at a full stop, I take a look around. "We're in the middle of nowhere! More than an hour out,"       "It was either see what they wanted, or get our asses kicked." Ollie says. I shake my head and grab at my hair.       "What kind of trouble did Mom get into?" I pull at my sea water dried hair, my fingers getting tangled and tangling the strands even more. "She tells me all the time, 'Don't do something I wouldn't' - and she's got a gang on her trail!"       "That was not a gang, or anything like what you're thinking," Ollie says. "Maybe it was a medical thing! Even though the people looked like they wanted to kill us - maybe this is all a misunderstanding! Maybe your mom is just friends with mean murderous people at work!"       I shake my head, "I know Mom like the back of my hand, there's nothing she doesn't tell me about her past, work - why are you looking at me like that?"       Ollie has his brows creased and his arms crossed. His dark blue eyes dance across the floor of the boat and to the ocean.

      "That man with the buttoned down shirt," he says. "He was holding Betty's hand, and as I pulled away he was trying to comfort her,"       "So?' I ask.       Ollie takes a deep breath, looks out to the ocean and back to me. "I don't think Betty tells you everything, you don't even know your dad,"       "What the hell is your point?" I ask, throwing my arms out in exhaustion.       "He had your hair color, the tan you have, the same height - either your dad is a criminal and that was his entourage to keep him at ease, or Betty is clearly hiding something huge from you," Ollie explains.       I glare at him, shocked and stunned. "What?" I spit. "First off, I could give a damn about my dad, I think that he left Mom because he's a cowardly jackass, but Mom has done so well without him I could car less where he is today! Second, maybe the things Mom doesn't share with me is because they're too personal, and they'll scare me - who knows!"       "Robbie -"       "No! Don't you dare say another word!" I yell, waving my finger at him. "Mom has helped you out so many times over the years that you should be grateful and never say a word about her!"       "Robbie stop -"       "How dare you even make assumptions about her! What she doesn't talk about is her business! -"       "ROBBIE DUCK!" Ollie cries as he immediately falls on the floor of the boat like a rag doll. The sound of engines roars in my ears, and as I turn around I'm swept off my feet, the whole boat and taken up in the air. It doesn't occur to me until I see the boat below me start growing smaller, and vapors start blinding me, which I realize are clouds.       I don't even know what's making me fly until I grab at the metal around my waist and look in front of me. A red and gold plated face looms up into the clouds, but upon seeing me staring, it slows down flying to take a better look at me.       "Anyone ever told you that you look just like your mother?" it asks. I look down to see that it's a machine, but the voice sounds male. I'm unable to squirm out of it's grip, and as the machine sees this, it chuckles.       "Not a good idea, sweetheart, falling down would break three ribs - or just straight up kill you," it says before hugging me tighter and falling down fast into flight. We swoop down by Ollie's boat, which passes by me faster than a blur. I don't even have time to shout I'm so confused and scared.       As we fly just above the water, mist sprays at my face, and I get a taste of sweet sea salt. I cough hard, which makes the machine say "Whoops, sorry," and flies a little bit higher. His grip changes in me, letting my hands free to place on his shoulders. Instead, I elbow his face, which scares him, dropping me into the ocean. Quickly, I emerge from the water to breathe in deeply and then head back under, hopefully being able to hide. Opening my eyes under water, I remember that Ollie didn't even think of where to had but out far enough. We were so far out I couldn't see the bottom floor. The land beneath me only grew into darker waters. There were no reefs to hide behind, no rocks, and no schools of fish.       Wearing a mask all the time makes my brain think I can see clearly under water, and I wish I could as a dark ominous shadow passes by me. It rounds me from ten feet away, it's body large and wide. I stay where I am despite the painful urge in my chest for the exhale of air. My head follows the creature until it gets closer, and my eyes can make out a greyish color. There's a slit at the front of its pointed head, with small white daggers poking out. I see shapes on top and on its side, and instantly my eyes realize their fins, and the slits on its sides are gills. Suddenly, the animal gets closer, and my brain freezes, body grows stiff and air isn't the only problem I have.        Another shadow crosses the shark, and I can make out the same body shape and fins to realize that it's another shark. I can't stay still for too long before I can make out the bodies of tow more sharks swirling around like a tornado. My chest is tightening and my head pounds as my subconscious tells me to get air.        Suddenly, one of the sharks goes for it and takes a quick sudden turn towards me. It's large mouth opens wide, showing off all 300 teeth within 15 rows. I scream, which felt like a release of air, but only made me crave and hurt for fresh air. Suddenly, I was tackled hard and swooped up back out of the ocean and into the air once more.       "Jesus Christ kid," the red and gold machine man said. He was going on and on about someone or something, but my head fell back due to lack of oxygen and I was out cold.

[sarahjeonn]

fall quarter

looking back, the Lord has done a lot in me this past fall quarter. even though it felt like i was in a desert all alone, the Lord was carrying me all along. (it’s funny how that always seems to happen, huh? haha) 

1. whenever people asked me how i was doing at sb, i would always respond with a “please send help, i’m dying!!” or “i hate sb omg” and to be frank, it accurately depicted my heart’s expressions towards my school. i never wanted to go to sb and although i knew the Lord wanted and called me to go to this school but it was still really hard for me. the biggest reason was loneliness. one thing i learned through sb is that i come from a very strong Christian community. tkc and 4cm are both strong, rooted Christian communities that i realized i took for granted because when i came to sb, oh man.. HAHAHAHA i struggled so hard to find a community similar to the charisma, passion, and love for God as the ones back home. i tried kcm and epic and i would always return to my dorm with sadness and loneliness because i felt misunderstood and alone. i’m not that mature in my faith but i struggled to find peers that desired God as much as i did. it seemed like no matter how hard i tried, i only came face to face with those who solely wanted “fellowship” and friendships but... i want so much more than that. I lacked a sense of belonging and wrestled with God because I knew my desires for community were of Him... so why am I struggling so much compared to my friends at other schools? however, the beauty of loneliness is that a desire and necessity to depend on God stems out of it. as i felt unsatisfied with the community around me, the Lord continued to grow my conviction and longing to commune with Him. although i have not (yet) obtained a solidified, ritual secret place with the Lord, i know that my desire for God has grown tremendously and that the tendency to throw in the towel and give up has left. thank you, Lord, that you love me and you run after me.

2. another thing about community i realized is i am a great idealist when it comes to people. about three to four weeks ago, i felt the Lord press something upon my heart. why am i low-key bitter at certain people in sb when i barely know them? as i prayed and talked internally about this, i realized many of my expectations on how i want to be loved and cared for have been broken and i have a standard of what kind of christian community i want because of btm + 4cm. furthermore, i get let down and bitter because prominent figures in my life, such as Pastor Will + Andrea and my biological dad, either let me down by leaving (literally like they legit lived in Mexico LOL) or not being there for me as much as they used to be (due to school, church, etc.) when God revealed this to me, i felt Him ask me to surrender my expectations for community and ideals for what a Christian community is supposed to look like. through that, a lot changed actually, haha. one, i started missing my mom HAHAH. and if you know me, i don’t miss my mom much because i haven’t lived with her since the divorce (freshman year) and i just got used to not seeing her much. so this was quite the shocker, haha. second, i started a prayer meeting with some freshman in epic + kcm bc... honestly, i need to pray and i need to be kept accountable LOL. but i kinda structured it as a house church and i ended up making two friends (Olivia + Katelyn) out of it!!! and third, i actually got convicted to join kcm because long story short, i held a lot of negative opinions regarding the kind of people in kcm and just thought of it as a waste of my time in the few times I went. but honestly, as i started to surrender my expectation for community, i actually began to find community!! so crazy, huh? haha. of course, i haven’t quite attained a solid christian community yet but... this is a start :’)

3. since i’m in sb, i hardly come down to OC (once a month, twice at most?) but when i do, i attend BTM service. and honestly, this past sunday, i got a bit sad. as i saw my peers such as eugene, ashley, and paul, i rejoiced with them because i can tell they are growing and thriving so much in Him. whether it’s serving in children’s ministry or in BTM, each of them are growing spiritually and learning leadership skills. but man, i can’t help but wish i can partake in that. it’s not that i’m jealous because i am happy for them but honestly,  i wish i can be with them and grow with them as well, y’know? I want to grow alongside my community and serve my home church too. as i was wrestling with God about my sadness, i felt the Lord press upon my heart to just stop and reflect. although i’m not in oc and serving/growing how i would like, i cannot deny that the Lord is doing a work in me at SB. He is growing and stretching me in ways that are more unseen and discreet... and didn’t i ask the Lord to stretch and grow me in ways i couldn’t back home? haha, once again, i am reminded of my foolishness. although i want a certain type of growth, the Lord is going an opposite route to the same direction!! thank you, Jesus, that you love me and that your way is higher. sometimes it’s really hard for me to trust you, to be completely honest, so thank you or being patient with me, Lord!!

4. there are two churches that a majority of my fellowship/campus ministries attend: Real Life and Anthem. these are multi-ethnic mega churches and it seems like a lot of people seem to enjoy it!!!! however, i actually chose isla vista church (ivc, for short) which only three people from my fellowship attend HAHAH. although not many attend ivc, I really enjoy ivc bc honestly, they just love God and are so abandoned for the gospel. through this church, my definition of church shifted. I realized that when people complain that “the worship was subpar today” or “the sermon wasn't that good today because it didn't really apply to my season right now”, it’s because they don't receive anything from the Lord in their secret place so they try to receive what they need from the Lord at church. once I had that revelation, I loved ivc ever since. I love it because they don’t follow church template so sometimes, there’s more worship or sometimes there’s no sermon but I always leave wanting more of Christ because man, these people are so wholehearted after the Lord.

all in all, I am growing!! it’s very different from what I wanted/expected but... the Lord knows better!! He is bringing healing to my heart and (hopefully) softening it as well. thank you, Jesus, that you love me and that through and in you, I find freedom and joy. I love you, Jesus.

[tsvitok]

Widowmaker 2

Another commission featuring Widowmaker from OW and an OC. Enjoy.

NSFW.

Life has a wicked tendency to spiral wildly out of control. And the truly strong will keep things together and cope through it. Lee was not a strong person, everything he had done in life was evidence of that. He had lied, cheated, stole and the more desperate his life became the worse he became. He had been an engineer, working alongside some of the greatest minds of his time - people he had called friends. Then they disappeared and his life with it. He held down a freelance position working under Lumerico, working through strikes and fixing other people’s problems. They refused to hire him though, no-one would hire him. The stigma of his past, working for Overwatch, was enough to ruin most companies. People didn’t like Overwatch, and after a few years he stopped trying to defend them. Of all the horror stories he had heard, the things they had done in a misguided attempt to maintain order. The massacres and genocides, the terrorism, the destruction. Carnage had been sown across seven continents and anyone even remotely linked to their military aspects like he was, became a pariah. Lee found solace where he could - in the embrace of a prostitute and the haze of soft drugs. He pieced together similarities with his old life, brief flings and fleeting dreams of romances that lingered on as long as he clung to one specific call-girl. She was a nice enough girl, he’d even date her if they weren’t both so broken. She spoke with a perfect Mexican lilt and had been a data analyst before the economic crisis. Then as society became less vitriolic about sex, she had embraced the idea of fucking for money. A surprising number of women did, because it was enjoyable and easy, and men would do a lot for a pretty body to hold as they had for centuries. Clementine with the soft blue hair that reminded him intensely of all the girls he had ever dreamt about - except one. Bubbly, cheery Clementine who slept with a certain comfort around him, who happily claimed he was her favourite every time he called her. That he treated so gently. Clementine with the soft, brown skin that quivered against his touch and the perfect body that ached underneath him. It felt strange to be in love with a prostitute, but he was. And she’d never return it, because she still suffered from her own demons - addictions and losses left over from the economic crisis. She was a bright spark in his dim life, which only accentuated how much he needed her day to day. He happily spent his dwindling income just to see her, and suffered through withdrawals just so he could afford a bit of extra time with her. She didn’t question his desire to see her for hours every other day, or how much of the time they simply spent talking. She just knew the money and the sex was good, and that he didn’t judge her for any of her problems. Then she simply disappeared. He didn’t know any of her friends, or family, or how he could find out about her. After a few months, he gave up on the last vestiges of hope he still held onto and sank deep into the darkness. Without her company to buy, all his money was lost to drugs and alcohol. There was nothing, he cared about nothing, felt nothing, remembered nothing. He didn’t care, he didn’t want to care. He was lost. He only kept his apartment in the heart of Mexico City because Lumerico unwisely kept him on a retainer. The ruins of his apartment slowly closed in, day by day, he had no power, no running water, nothing but a broken bed and a bottle of tequila. He passed out more than slept and woke up covered in sweat and less pleasant things. Today though, was different. He was barely sober enough to tell day from night, but a voice called out to him. The French of the one exception he dreamt about, the French woman with the soft feet and the angry heart. “Oh, Lee. What has become of you?” He couldn’t open his eyes, but he could mumble her name, “Amelie Lacroix.” Amelie Lacroix, the dancer, the goddess, the ghost in his dreams. A woman that had died nearly a decade ago alongside her husband - the man she had cheated on, with him. “Oui. I had imagined you’d live better than this.” He had hoped that insanity would bring him back Clementine, not this. The woman he had taken advantage of, that he had tricked himself into loving. But he didn’t get to choose his own insanity, he just had to accept it. “Living is what I don’t want to be doing,” he managed to pull himself into a seated position on the edge of his bed, “What do you want?” Then he managed to open his eyes and see her, but... this was... she looked so familiar, so similar to how she had been but her skin was blue. More proof of his fleeting sanity dwindling. “I missed you, Lee. It has taken me years to find you, but here I am.” “You’re dead.” Amelie smirked, “Not quite.” “You’re dead and I’m hopefully dreaming.” “I would explain, but-.” He pushed himself to his feet, swaying a little before steadying himself enough to walk into his “kitchen”. “Save it, unless you’re here to fuck me, then it’d be better for me to just wake up.” “How about I tell you where to find your friend, Clementine.” He nearly crumbled at the mention of her, he shut his eyes and failed to let the taunt pass by. “I never realised my mind was so cruel.” “I would not know, I am not in your head. Do you not want to know?” “Of course I want to, but, she’s gone - just like you are.” “I am here, and I am real. And I was never dead. And neither is she, because I saved her.” “Saved her? From what?” “Overwatch.” He sighed deeply, “Why are you here? Why you?” “Because Overwatch is returning, and I need you to help me. Years ago, I started working for Talon - do you remember them?” “The anti-Overwatch group? The terrorists?” “To Overwatch, to those Overwatch oppressed, we are liberators. My husband, was the man who orchestrated it all and so I killed him and I was forced to hide.” “I never liked Gerard, I never thought I’d believe Talon weren’t the bad guys but everything I’ve learned...” “Clementine has been working for Talon too, she is a hacker and when they discovered her - they tried to kill her. And if you help us, it can be arranged so that you see her again where it is safe.” “Why should I believe you’re real, for starters?” She stepped closer, and pressed a cold hand against his chest. “How much can a mind make up?” “If you fuck me, it’ll only prove I am dreaming.” “Then I’ll have to prove your dreams were pale in comparison.” She caressed his chest, her fingertips soft as they advanced over his muscles. He had kept fit for Clementine, but months of drug abuse had softened him. Sinking into a depression had left his body weak to her touch, his body barely resisted her fingers trailing down to his waist. “Do you remember me? How much has your addict’s mind forgotten?” “Of course I remember you, I’m still ashamed of how I used you.” “Used me?” she laughed, “you do not even come close to that. Perhaps the only truly selfish thing I have ever done was enjoy you. Let me do it again before I take you back to her.” Her hand pushed in under his waistband, reaching into his pants and taking hold of him. His limp cock barely stirred as she wrapped around him, her touch was real enough and he had begun to sober to the point he felt neither asleep nor insane. He just felt her cold fingers coil about his shaft and gently slip along his length. She was silk and ice, tugging against him. He began to rise, to fill her hand. Her other hand pressed against his chest, she looked him in the eyes and he fell back against the “kitchen” table, holding himself up as she stroked harder. It surprised him how easily she worked him up but, Amelie had always stirred him the most. The elegance of her, even doing something so crude as jacking him off, with a pretty smirk on her blue lips and a confidence in the play of her fingertips. She was the fantasy he was somehow living out again. She watched his face intently as it shifted as he grew closer, slowing to keep him on the edge. “Come,” she said pulling him gently by his erection, across the room to his bed, “there is so much I want to do with you.” She let go of him, and pushed him down against the bed. He slumped against the mattress, the tent in his pants growing. But she had no interest in succumbing so easily to his desires, she had her own that needed fulfilling. He watched her strip, from the long flowing coat down to her tight sweater and to her lacy white bra. It suited her, a beautiful contrast against her blue skin. She turned before bending to remove her heels, offering an excellent view of her best physical feature - that huge round ass. He’d pleasured himself to memories of it hundreds of times even after she... Amelie didn’t stand before she began easing down her tight pants. She took her underwear with it, she... she was already glistening - a soft blue with a hint of pink showing through her folds. He had forgotten how beautiful she was. He didn’t have long to admire her, she pulled off her pants and immediately climbed over him, kneeling over his face. The soft blue folds of her pussy glistened just before his eyes and she barely had a chance to speak before he grabbed her ass and dragged her into him. “Oh!” She had not expected the rough way he took hold of her, burying his mouth against her lips. The tip of his tongue easily parted her and pierced inside her. He explored her, kissing her passionately, forcefully, leaning into her and nearly pushing her off her knees. She cooed and moaned, lost for words and struggling just to breath. She grabbed hold of his head and eased him back a little, just enough to let her keep in control. Not that it mattered, the way he thrust up against her left her body weak, trembling out a long sigh. And with it she collapsed, quaking down against him. She lost her grip and covered him, smothered him in her climax - wet, sticky, intense. She was radiating against his face, a fire from an iceberg. Amelie caught her breath quickly, it perhaps helped that he was greedy now and promised her everything they both wanted. “Good boy,” her chiding tone did nothing to stop him from pushing her down against the bed, underneath him, unfolding her legs around his hips to guide him in. “Now fuck me.” Lee’s fingers scrambled to remove his pants, getting them down around his knees before Amelie pulled him in. She grabbed hold of him by the shoulders, her nails biting at his skin. Her body was cold everywhere except between her legs, when she pulled him in - pulled him inside of her - she was hot and wet and slick and tight. He groaned, cold shivers clashing with hot ones. Amelie giggled euphorically and dragged him in harder until his firm body was pressed against her. “Hon~ahh, I remember this.” He didn’t need much more guiding. He drove deep, long and hard. He filled her, pumping against her fast. Her body ached, it had been so long - months maybe - and Lee had a certain feel as he sweetly kissed her neck and pounded her pussy. Her neck had a sweet taste, her pussy clung to him, her cold body arched beneath him and her nails dug into his skin. The way she must look right now, in the throes of passion. Soft blue skin blushing, her large breasts shuddering as she pants ecstasy. The sound of her moans, soft and breathless, but urgent. Amelie wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him as closely as she could, letting him in deep as he could trust. Her body was tensing, trembling with held back pleasure. Lee had barely broken a sweat and yet she had come twice, soon three times. Her usual prey barely made it past her stripping off her clothes. Amelie’s climaxes were long and soft, graceful even, she cooed and soaked. Lee lost himself inside her, his own climax filling Amelie’s tender pussy. Thick, sticky loads one after the other flooded her. It had definitely been worth the wait, she felt her belly nearly swell from the force of it. Then when he slipped free, a trickle of his cum followed. Her pussy gaping, her body satisfied, she let him go and Lee fell against the mattress next to her. She rolled onto her side, and wrapped his arms around her. “This was lovely.” Lee panted softly into her ear, an agreement. “I would love to do this again.” “Me too.” “Then let’s. If you help us, you would see me all the time - every week maybe.” Amelie was his fantasy, his deep desires manifest before him. Not even her sudden change of colour or the coldness of her body tempered his wants to please her. But... what did he know about this world he was suddenly in. “Tell me Lee, how many of your friends from Overwatch have you seen since it ended?” “No one.” “They’ve all been in contact since, they even found me and saved me... I was dying Lee - but the doctor, she did miserable things to me to bring me back. She made me blue, slowed my heart. But she saved me from my husband.” “I thought you killed him.” “I did, but only when he tried to kill me. He did awful things to me Lee, forced himself on me, cut me up. It is only by luck I managed to kill him and escape.” “Why,” he had a horrible bile rising up from his gut thinking about how anyone could hurt her,” are you telling me this?” “I trust you, I feel safe with you. I endangered you. He made me confess and when I did he... I think maybe I saved you.” His body grew hot, and he hugged her tightly, “I’m sorry.” “Do not be, being with you is the most alive I have ever felt.” He knew the feeling, a little too well. “When Doctor Ziegler found me, she hid me away. And the entire incident was just covered up. My husband was called a hero, and they never truly bothered looking for me. But she told me about all the cruel things my husband had done.” “Is Angela working with us?” “Non, she removed herself from it entirely. She is off training doctors in warzones.” “Oh,” Lee had liked Angela, she was always nice to him.” “Others are oblivious, like we were.” “So you want me to go and find out who’s responsible?” “Oui.” And for that, he gets to save countless future victims and be with Amelie and Clementine. It was hardly anything he had to think about. “Okay.” She kissed his hand and sighed, “Merci, I was worried you would turn me down.” She smirked as he said, “I could never turn you down Amelie.” She knew. “There’s just one thing-” Her smile died. “Stay with me tonight.” She grinned, “Of course.” They laid together for a while, just enjoying the feel of one another against their bodies. It was nice to have something so warm pressed against her skin, she was so used to being cold and feeling dead, that any change was a pleasant one. Her slow beating heart and her long steady breathing calmed him, and he found himself drifting off. Somewhere deep down he knew she didn’t feel the same way as he did, that he was just a bit of fun for her, but... that was fine, he’d rather have that than nothing. It almost seemed his curse to fall in love with women who didn’t love him back, but how could he not. Underneath her cold skin beat a fiery heart, the kind with passion and drive that had taken her places he could only imagine. A dancer, a lover, and now a spy against the corrupt and wicked. A heart that had kept beating despite all the suffering inflicted upon it. He didn’t doubt her for a minute, her husband had been lauded as a hero but he had done evil things. He had the distasteful ‘honour’ of working with the man, and didn’t doubt for a moment that he had been a violent bastard. Amelie being free of him was enough to satisfy his lust for vengeance, but he couldn’t just be idle as the corrupt tried to do it all again. He was more willing to believe the old saying, that who is and isn’t a terrorist is a matter of perspective. “We’ll have to find you a nice apartment in Paris,” she finally said, breaking the comfortable silence, “I don’t quite like this shit-hole.” He sighed, kissed her neck, and started day-dreaming of a small apartment overlooking the river Seine. Amelie lying in his bed as he sat and smoked out on the balcony, a glass of wine, her blue skin gilded in the afternoon sunset, soft breasts rising and falling with her steady breaths. Her feet dangling over the edge of their bed. Her soft, luxurious dancer’s feet. “Ooh, Lee,” Amelie stirred him, “ready to go again so soon?” He realised he was poking her, his cock hard against her soft round ass. “It’s okay, there is nothing better.” She reached behind her, her cool slender fingers wrapping around his shaft. Guiding him between her cheeks. “No wait,” there was something else he wanted, “Let me... your feet.” “Oh? My feet? Well... alright.” Amelie rolled onto her stomach, the beautiful peaks of her ass were enticing but, then she lifted her long legs and presented to him her feet. The soft, smooth soles were just as he remembered. Lee rose up from the bed and knelt behind his lover, taking his time to stop and kiss her feet. So soft, so smooth, the finely made feet of a dancer, the elegance of her ankles all the way down to her toes. Long and slender, with grace to how they wiggled. She giggled gleefully as he tickled her with his tongue and happily worshipped Amelie’s feet. She had that same sweet taste, as though she perfumed her soles. She must, nothing else could explain how beautiful they felt or how wrong it felt to then rise up to his own ugly feet and take hold of his cock. Standing over her on the bed, he could finally admire her for all her beauty. Her long black hair spilled out over her shoulders and against the sheets. Her back curved seductively as she turned her head to watch him curiously. Her wide hips rose up slightly as she held her feet up for him. Then, Lee gently took her by the ankles and squeezed her feet together around him. Her feet cupped his shaft, and with slow smooth strokes he started to pleasure himself with her. Soft, delicate soles, smooth skin and bones, it had consumed the better part of every other dream for him. Any dream he had about her, had moments about her feet wrapped around him. No other woman’s feet came close, though he had tried. She was beyond compare. She tightened as he fucked her feet, constricting him until he couldn’t resist. He tickled her until she was laughing, a strange feeling for her, but not unpleasant. She had remembered Lee’s fetish, and though it was weird, she kind of liked it. As soon as he came, she’d have him indulge her own. Lee blew, thick ropes of cum splattered over Amelie’s back, but most of it fell against her soft round ass. Strings of it that eased down her slopes. “Good boy, now fuck my ass.” Without restraint he pulled her legs to the side and fell to his knees. She was on her side, she reached back to guide him in. Her didn’t fight her, she held him so gently as he slid through her fingers between her cheeks. She consumed him slowly, little by little until she was swallowing him. His head disappeared deep inside her ass, and she pressed her hand against his waist to slow his thrusts. Amelie bit her lip to keep herself quiet, one hand against Lee and the other between her legs. Her fingers slipped inside her wet pussy as easily as her ass had swallowed his cock. “Mhm... you do it so well.” She was clenching around him, holding him deep - keeping her full of him. He leaned in to kiss her, and her mouth opened only to suddenly moan. He realised where her hands were and let his own join them. He added a strong, rough touch to her own fingers, letting her satisfy herself as he filled her ass. “Ahh!” She was relaxing against him, her body shaking as she fingered herself. He kissed her neck, teeth testing against her cool skin just as she had pierced him with her nails. A happy, lost smile crossed Amelie’s face, her gaze distant. He weaved his fingers through her hair, everything about her was soft and smooth. “Pull my hair,” she begged, so he did. Roughly he yanked back her head. “Ahh!~ Oui! Oui! Fuck me like a whore!” He thrust against her, letting go of her hand and instead forcing her onto her stomach. Her legs spread around him, then coiled around him and her heels dug into his back. He was deep inside her, pounding her, hard and fast. The urgency in Amelie’s moans grew, and his own body shuddered. How many times had she come already... he joined her. She purred. He spilled out inside her, the heavy load filling her up to the brim once more. “Oh Lee... you feel so good inside me.” He trembled, but couldn’t hold himself inside her. He slipped free, her ass now gaping and oozing out his sticky white spunk. It was an oddly beautiful sight, her worn in ass not even bothering to tighten up to hold his cum inside her, it just trickled out onto his bed. Amelie was still fingering herself, roughly. It took her a few thrusts to climax before she stopped and breathed deeply. “Ah... magnifique. Maybe next time, you will last long enough.” Next time... he loved the way that felt. Knowing that she’d be back. “But, I need to wash up.” Amelie got up without any kind of weakness to her gait, the waggle of her hips doing nothing but shaking off some sweat. Her back was still glazed, her ass still trickled, but she disappeared into his small bathroom to wash up. When she returned she was clean, elegant. Naked, he had yet to see her breasts. He tried not to stare as she dressed. That seemed to amuse her. “It is alright to look, amour. You enjoy my body.” “I do but, you’re more than that.” “Oui, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look.” He wondered idly if he’d ever feel at ease around her. She took hold of his hand so he could make them coffee. They sat and spoke for a while about what she had been doing since they last spoke. She had been teaching ballet again, something about that comforted him. His phone buzzed, it was the recall... Overwatch was reforming. “I’m worried,” he said glaring at the phone, “What’ll happen if they find out I’m spying on them.” “Call me, then we can meet and I’ll get you to safety.” He still had uneasy feelings about betraying the people he had once called friends, but... they had abandoned him. “You will be fine.” A long moment passed before Amelie’s phone buzzed, it wasn’t recall, it was someone else. “I should go,” she said, rather suddenly, “I am sorry I cannot stay tonight, but I’ll make it up to you next week.” She kissed him on the cheek before leaving him. He returned to his “bedroom” and sat on his mattress. The small box containing his stash was still there. He grabbed it and took it into the bathroom to dispose of it. He was going to find Clementine, he was going to help Amelie, he was going to get justice. He was going to join Talon.