#hopefully we'll see the grandparents next chapter

[rinse-and-repeat2]

Chapter Two: Don't Flinch First

A/N: Yeah, so there's a barely edited chapter two for this medieval AU (part one is here). Two chapters is as far as I've gotten in planning, so this may be the last chapter for a little while (and I'm not quite satisfied with it yet, but I'm tired of staring at it). If you have any questions, please ask, I love answering questions about this AU! Feel free to comment, I also love feedback :)) Chapter Two is under the cut (CW for some cursing and implied mind control at the end, non-important implied death in one paragraph, vague description of (mental?) suffocation - if I need to add anything else, let me know)

Chapter Two: Don't Flinch First

Rhythmic, pounding, the clock thudded as the second hand pushed on through the tightening wrap of time on Kendra’s lungs. Close your eyes, listen to the clock, slow your heartbeat. Breathe in, wait for four ticks. Hold, wait for four ticks. Breathe out, four ticks once more. Open your eyes again. Don’t move, don’t worry, don’t panic, don’t move.

Kendra reminded herself of this time and time again as the second hand slid easily, mockingly, forward alongside every slide of makeup that covered her face. With every soft brush of the bristles against her face, tickling her skin, a cold, chilling shiver shuddered down her spine like a sharp slap of pain. Instead of letting this sink into her, though, she closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and opened them once again to face the mirror in front of her.

She sat in the wooden chair, unmoving. The worn cushion beneath her crinkled as she sat, and the curved, lacquered wood, unlike its appearance, could barely come into contact with skin without leaving behind a splinter. Yet, Kendra tapped her fingers against it, alongside the clock. Every tick of the clock called for another brush of makeup, and for every brush, for every tap, another lie settled heavy in her mind.

Don’t move, Kendra chanted to herself. Move, and the makeup would smudge. Move, and they would have to start over. Move, and the lie would become a little less believable. The air slid as sludge through her, around her, dripping off her limbs, and pooling in her constricting lungs. Ever going forward, it continued, slow and thick, as did the silence. They dredged on together, an inseparable duo.

Kendra, tense as a wooden board about to snap, suppressed the urge to shiver as the brush moved closer to her neck, where most of the work focused. The modifications needed to look perfect, completely real and true. If a single flaw merely existed…

Close your eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. Open your eyes again.

Alyssa, if Kendra remembered the handmaiden’s name correctly, focused intensely as she applied the different products, building an amazingly fake recreation of gills on either side of Kendra’s face. They emerged from the side of her neck, protruding in layers. From there, red and orange scales lingered, thick in an initial circle around the gills before scattering, spreading up on her cheek and down to her shoulder. The job took time, certainly, but Alyssa understood this when taking on the burden—and the large paycheck that came with it.

At younger ages, Kendra had been assigned Lena as her makeup artist, alongside a mentor for her said-to-be emerging magic. Ever since she abdicated from her position as queen, Lena had much time on her hands. But, as she moved on to a full mentor position to Kendra, she became much busier, and a new hire came along.

Though, Kendra supposed ‘new’ couldn’t aptly describe Alyssa. Alyssa Carter, and the rest of the Carter line, by extension, worked along the Burgess line for what felt like centuries. Always paid handsomely, it began with Harrow Carter, many years ago. Despite avid researchers’ attempts to find the moment Harrow and Patton Burgess met, nothing could be found. Harrow, a man of humble origins, became Patton’s personal gentleman-in-waiting after an encounter between the two in the woods, and as far as the story went, that seemed to be it.

Since then, ladies-in-waiting alongside other gentlemen-in-waiting became extremely close friends to the Burgess line, whether they were the current kings, queens, princes, or princesses. It stood as perhaps—other than the royals and nobles themselves—one of the highest paying jobs in the castle.

Kendra and Alyssa had once been good friends, if Kendra remembered correctly. Once upon a time, in a different place, a different setting, their bond had been set up for success. Back then, no pressure had yet been set upon Kendra’s shoulders, and so she could walk and talk without first having to sift through her vocabulary for the right words.

But, over the years, more and more pressed upon her, begging for her immediate attention. Issues and responsibilities tugged at her clothes, grabbed her with reckless abandon, and Kendra worked to satisfy every single one of them. She busied herself with the issues of others, and they were satisfied. Relationships such as the one she had with Alyssa had no immediate pressures. Their bond led to no stress, so it began to fall last in her to-do list, an unkept friendship. An easy responsibility Kendra soon forgot about.

And now, they sat in silence.

While Kendra’s grandparents never pressured her specifically to give up the friendship, looking back, Kendra knew she would have to eventually. Princesses didn’t have such close, irresponsible relationships with their ladies-in-waiting. Instead, they went out, socialized, and found others in similar roles as themselves. Then, later, they would find someone to court.

Leaving even less time for a friendship that did not matter on a political, royal scale. Leaving no time for Alyssa.

Before, Alyssa would have been hard to leave alone in such a way. As a bright, energetic person, she always commanded attention, even as a servant. She had a light in her that sparked like a fire, and a smile that warmed up a room, and hair bright and wild as gold. Her and Kendra slid down banisters, snuck into the king and queen’s bedrooms, and even out into the city, without a single consequence. No one recognized them, and even if they did, no one stopped the princess.

Yet, as Kendra began to back away from that old frame of mind—understanding the mistakes she could no longer afford—Alyssa dissolved from sight. She hid in the background, in a way that Kendra never understood. She became another face in the crowd, nothing original, nothing outstanding. Her voice quieted until Kendra didn’t remember what it sounded like.

Kendra, between one point and another, hadn’t recognized her. With dull blue eyes and blonde hair barely brushing her shoulder, Alyssa became a stranger. Nothing about her brought attention to her, instead everything focused on causing the eyes to easily slip past. Move on to other things, leave her behind, and let her stay in her quiet corner.

Not the person Kendra knew, once upon a time.

Maybe she too had grown to understand consequences and regret. Maybe Alyssa understood that with one wrong step, one slip-up, one mistake, street corners would herald the news with glee. It would echo and reverberate, and it would shatter their lives as they knew it. The news would sink into their subconscious and haunt them for the rest of their lives. Because those who lived in the castle, those who had a presence, were nothing more than someone to look at, admire, win over, and then betray as soon as they made one single mistake.

A dweller in the palace, held with a reverence akin to a saint; a pretty face able to be dressed up, fantasized about; a statue on a pedestal, made for the public to throw their misplaced insults and anger onto them instead of the world… that’s all they were.

An idol, a doll, a punching bag, a thing.

And such things did show: the gills, crafted carefully with artisan’s hands; the dress which fell down around her ankles, bright fire-colored fabrics and gems alike coming together to shine like a flame on her body; and the way she could barely stand straight, stand still, when she saw people’s eyes focus over her, judging something as simple as her every breath.

A thing.

…Though, the dress did have pockets, something which Kendra first looked at with glee and thanks. In fact, she remembered showing them to Lena with the purest joy she had felt in years. The shoes, as well, were something comfortable, flat, so she could keep her balance in a place serving drinks that could easily stain.

But, all of this still continued, in her mind, to be tinged with a sour taste. Comfort, as it stood to be, still needed to be beautiful. Events such as these still included being dressed up, placing a mask over the face and body, and laughing with a fake smile that stretched over one’s entire personality. Made to be a marionette, pulled into dances with strings, talking in a voicebox with the same few polite phrases. Then, after the fact, a wretched homesickness for the ease it put upon her mind to simply be pulled along.

…But the pockets were nice. Truely.

Alyssa stepped away a moment later, and Kendra craned her neck to see the faux gills on either side. They looked so realistic, so natural that it became uncanny to her.

“…And that’s the point,” Kendra said to herself, trying to reassure in a way that put her mind at ease.

Alyssa did not look over at her, nor did she give a single indicator to show that she even heard Kendra’s voice. She simply began to pack up her things and try to wipe the excess makeup off of her dress, a light pink and yellow thing, like the clouds in the faint afternoon. A frown played upon her face as she let her eyes glaze over everything in the world, careful and practiced motions the way she carried herself through life. Routine, all of it.

Kendra recognized the way Alyssa moved through life. Quite similar to being pulled along by invisible strings on a line, she supposed.

The clock ticked on.

Alyssa had done a wonderful job, as the point stood to look in such a way that magic affected her very being, running through her veins as much as blood. Because, as her grandparents described it, magic did run in her veins. According to her records, a trace of the Source had been obvious since her birth. The Source cradled her in its arms, and it gifted her with power to help her public.

According to the Church of Light as well, when Kendra had been around the age of seven, the Source saved their lives. During the spring months, the obituaries of her maternal grandparents, Hank and Gloria Larsen, spread. The news devastated the whole family. Demons—also known as people or monsters changed by Void magic to the point where they could no longer be perceived as human—attacked their home at the edge of town. While barriers were in place to keep most monsters out of their cities—Festival Nights as exception—demons had an advantage, as they technically started as humans. These demons were unable to be caught, as only a little more than a month later, an attack shattered the regular schedule of the castle, ravaged by an unknown group who hoped to rid the world of the Burgess line. In the attack, many servants passed alongside the prince and princess at the time—Kendra’s parents.

The Church of Light believed Kendra’s magic helped mask her and the people around her at the time. It created a barrier of sorts the demons either couldn’t pass through—or perhaps avoided subconsciously, magically distracted and refocused elsewhere. Afterwards, Kendra became heralded in the church as a saint of sorts. Her new position in society became a weight on her shoulders, respect ebbing from the people as they bowed.

Conspiracies existed, of course. Rumors of the “truth” behind the Burgess and Larsen deaths were exchanged in whispers in the dead of night, where the Church and the Castle could not hear. They believed the deaths were connected, or perhaps orchestrated, or some other number of things that Kendra shoved from her mind any time someone dared utter the words in her presence. For her, only one conspiracy existed and only one.

Kendra could not wield Source magic.

At one point, one time, perhaps she could. She could as a child, and before half of her family seemed to die off, she could. But after that fateful night, as soon as she became praised and revered and feared… The light vanished from her fingertips and had yet to return. For years, she tried and tried to harness it once more how the Church of Light told her she could. Once it became evident she had no such ability left in her, Lena taught her how to lie. Her grandparents fed her the lies she needed to stay in order to appease the public and the church, and she repeated them as told.

And if either the church or the public ever found out…

Close your eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. Open your eyes again.

Kendra couldn’t let it come to that. So, Alyssa put the makeup on, made it seem as if Kendra harnessed the power daily, and Kendra spit those lies from her mouth as often as she could. If needed, there were plans in place for desperate times. Lena had magic from the Source from birth, though slightly fainter, and illusions were easy if you were the one controlling the stage, the scene…

The puppets.

Kendra, when first asked to choose an animal—mammal, fish, or invertebrates—she took inspiration from Lena’s own scales on the back of her hands. Scales, or gills in Kendra’s case, were easier to replicate. Other Source modifications were more difficult to create, such as vertical pupils like a goat, or delicate bee wings growing from the back. One person especially, in Kendra’s own family line, could cut off and regrow their limbs, exactly like a starfish.

Amphibian, reptile, and bird additions, meanwhile, were reserved for Void magic. Its usage could be shown by warts, scales, feathers, or in the very rare occasion, bird wings. These changes were meant to be obvious, because if so, they could find a traitor within their ranks. They could not hide, not from the Source. Some myths were present with the idea that the Source imprinted the additions onto humans, if only to present one’s loyalty or traitorous ability.

Of course, some changes, such as aforementioned scales, could flow from either magic type. But, if the questions were expressed to the point of someone accusing your use of magic, then your reputation within society became the singular thread holding you above the raging waves. Kendra would never in her life be accused—certainly not publicly—and neither would the rest of her remaining family.

They were royals.

They were perfect.

They had to be perfect.

“Thank you,” Kendra quickly whispered out to Alyssa, last minute, as she opened the door. Yet, Alyssa persisted on in her silence as she slipped from the room. The clock continued, now the only noise penetrating the empty air, rattling around in the space until it settled deep in Kendra’s heart. The second hand hadn’t yet passed a minute before the door swung open once again with a graceful ease Kendra could never fathom possessing.

Grace could not well enough describe Lena Burgess. As a previous queen, ruling alongside Patton Burgess—one of the most well-known kings who brought an age of prosperity to the kingdom—she had a reputation as well. After King Burgess’s untimely death, Lena stepped up to the role for years until the tumultuous era ended, the waters calmed. She led them through a time of darkness and grief, a light for all the people. Once she felt her responsibilities began to return to routine, she abdicated, giving the role to Patton’s nephew she knew would serve the country well. The family line continued, all the way down to Kendra’s grandparents. Lena still lived, the Source running through her veins, keeping her alive for longer than humanly possible.

Kendra often wondered if Lena ever struggled. If so, she hid it well from others. She presented herself perfectly, not a spot or smudge out of place. Her dress fell halfway down her shin, a shade darker than a handmaiden’s, though still a very light pink. Her hair laid long, now fully colored with gray, only small strips of black still within it. Her eyes were soft as she stared at Kendra through the mirror. Scales covered her gloveless hands, deep purples and reds.

Kendra wished she could have a fraction of Lena’s composure, or perhaps one true scale as they were on her hand. Everything that Kendra worked horribly to achieve, Lena could do effortlessly. Without a single word, she could create a ball of glowing light. Without any effort, she used magic as if it guided her, and she guided it in return. Lena stood as a compass, and Kendra followed dutifully.

Lena’s hands, light and cold, brushed around the makeup. A slight sense of relaxation creeped up Kendra’s neck as she felt Lena create a seal, protecting it from water, from smudging, and from anything else that may attempt to show its falsity.

“…Do you believe I’ll ever be able to do that?” Kendra carefully hovered her hand over the seal. Seal, an easy spell as Kendra knew, something most adolescents with access to magic knew how to do. Yet, Kendra couldn’t muster enough for something as simple as that. She felt her heart drop once more as Lena did not immediately answer, instead placing a steady hand on her shoulder. The cold of her hand, while it could be felt, did not seep into Kendra’s being as she expected it to.

“You may be able to do this in time,” Lena murmured, a warm smile on her face. “So, do not fret your little mind too much over this matter. Some do not have their full aptitude unlocked until their late twenties. As of right now, you are still a child.”

“I’m seventeen. I’m essentially-”

“You are not an adult. Not yet. Cherish these years, don’t try to rush anything, or you’ll regret it later in your life. Let yourself be a child.”

Kendra watched as Lena stood tall above the mirror, her fingers carefully separating Kendra’s hair into sections, beginning one, thick braid on the back of her head. As she began to braid, Kendra considered staying quiet, staying still, but she had been sitting, silent for so long.

“What if I’m never able to?” Kendra asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. The words barely left her mouth, barely audible. She shouldn’t have said anything at all, shouldn’t have let that doubt leave her mind in such a way that would only lead to her capsizing over the thought. She needed to be confident, had to be confident, or the lie may fail, and her family could be put into danger-

“Close your eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. Open your eyes again.” The words resounded as soon as they were in Lena’s voice rather than Kendra’s own. Lena seemed to sense her panic, her utter despair over the idea, as she carefully held the unfinished braid. “I would advise you to wait until you’re an adult and see what happens then. If new magic never shows, then I suppose that is that. The Source knows what is meant to be, and maybe your magic always had the chance of running out.” Lena paused. “That does not mean the Source dislikes you, or hates you. It doesn’t mean you are worth less or have somehow failed someone. You know that, correct?”

Kendra paused, her mind turning over Lena’ words. “If I don’t lie with a certain precision, if I mess one thing up, my entire family could be in danger. The weight of my whole family is on my shoulders…”

“And it shouldn’t be. You’re seventeen, for Source’s sake.”

Kendra only stared at the faux gills on her neck through the mirror. “Then how much longer do I need to keep this charade up for? People with Source magic live for longer, proven by your very existence, so… How long? How long do I need to keep blatantly lying to everyone I see, everyone I meet?”

Lena paused. “Maybe, eventually, you and your grandparents can ease the Church, the public, into the idea.”

Kendra nodded, slowly, wanting to laugh a little bitterly, wanting to give in ever so slightly to the inherent anger that flared in her chest. Instead, she stamped the feeling into the ground, tapping the arm of the chair, letting her anger flow over her instead of into her.

“We both know that isn’t happening anytime soon,” Kendra said, quietly, softly. Even four months into the future, after she became an adult, she would still not be able to make her own decisions—not without her grandparents’ guiding hands on her shoulders, the public looming behind her. “I wish I were old enough now. Old enough to know, to decide my own path and future.”

With an apologetic look, Lena stared at Kendra, a mix between a smile and a frown on her face. “I understand, and from your point of view, it makes quite a bit of sense. You want the freedom to choose, and I want that for you as well. But,” Lena laughed a little, something light and loving, “you do not want to be old yet. Be young. Live without creaky old bones like mine.” Lena smiled, and Kendra smiled back.

She disagreed, Kendra did. An elegance could be attributed to her wrinkles, to the spots on her skin. Instead of blemishes, she wore them as small, shining suns. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled, and her gray hair shone. Though her bones were weary, her mentality continued to be something worth admiring.

“I don’t know. I think, when I’m older, I would want to be like you.”

Lena stayed still for a long moment, and Kendra could not tell what raced through her head at the time. A slight sigh escaped her lips, and she carefully moved to the front, blocking her view of the mirror. “I imagine you do. But, I am more interested to learn what you are like when you are old, not me. You can take inspiration, sure, but at the end of the day, you must be yourself, and you must craft your own identity. I am more interested in Kendra than I am a reflection of my mirror.” She moved to the side, and Kendra stared back at herself for a very long moment. Lena once again rested her hand on Kendra’s shoulder, a familiar, comforting weight for Kendra. Softly, she spoke, “I am so very interested to see who you become.”

“…A lot of people are.”

Lena sighed, eyes saddening as she stared at Kendra for a long, quiet moment. “You have too much tension in your muscles for someone your age. Wise beyond your years, and yet…” She shook her head again, as if she were about to say something and stopped.

“Yet what…?”

Lena shook her head again. “Nothing. I simply believe differently than certain others. I believe you needn’t worry about your future quite yet. Not in the deep, prying way you do, dear.”

The future terrified Kendra more than should have been humanly possible. She had stared at pleading citizens before their execution and murderers on trial, she had even faced the disapproving face of the public, her family, and none of it could be quite as terrifying as the future.

An unknown in a world of endless possibilities—endless, an intimidating number. The pure expanse of which there were alternate futures where things were better, worse, different, cautioned her against estimations of what the future held for her. If the future held infinite possibilities, there were worlds where her biggest dreams were fulfilled, and there were other worlds where her family line ended, as it seemed destined to.

“The future doesn’t always sound inviting.”

“…How do you feel now? Right now.”

“What?” Lena gestured for her to continue. “I suppose I’m alright. Not doing too bad.” The question seemed to come out of nowhere, and yet Lena had a slight—somehow comforting—smirk on her face.

“From another perspective, right now could be seen as the future from another point of view. When you are a young child, the future is the moment you become an adolescent. When you are an adolescent, the future is when you’re an adult. You are constantly living in the past, present, and future at the same time. Right now is already the past when mere minutes ago, we knew it as the future. Time is a constant that will not stop, but it will also allow gradual change. There will not come one day when you are suddenly cast into your older self’s life. You will grow into it, you will understand it, and you will be able to face the future prepared. You craft every moment you live, meaning this very second, every minute, you’re painting your present and future.”

Kendra slowly nodded.

“I’m unsure if that helps,” Lena said, her voice hesitant with Kendra’s uninsightful response. “But, someone very dear to me imparted that wisdom to me in his dying moments. There is a certain terror that comes to those who age unnaturally. To know you will outlive everyone you love is…” Lena paused, looking at Kendra and shaking her head. “Nothing you will need to worry about at a time like this. Just know that if you are worried about losing those you love, they stay with you, whether in photographs, memories, or legacies. They stay with you, stick to you like a sap, and the same can be said for the past. You carry the past with you with every movement you make, while moving on to the future to make new memories. Memories, new or old, can help carry you along the tide, ebb and flow of time.”

Lena carefully finished the braid, styled so intricately, in front of her left shoulder for her to see. Smaller braids were woven in the singular, thick braid, and two small face-framing pieces lay beside her head. “And when you make those memories,” she continued, “I hope you look back and wonder why you were scared at all.”

The ticking of the clock, ever present, became a little less cumbersome as Kendra stilled her tapping fingers. She stared at herself for a long moment, a deep breath rattling within her. “I need to go downstairs soon. Did you hear, there are rumors that guests from other countries are coming to the Gala tonight.” Lena didn’t seem to mind the quick change in topic, nor did she have any comment on the behavior. 

Kendra spoke the truth, despite her weariness. The party would start at six, as the Galas always did. Preparations for the next day until three, rest until six, and celebrations until the sun rose. This, of course, excluded all Knights other than her brother and grandmother, needed more for the politics of the castle than for the protections Warren instead had deftly handled, at least until the party finished. Afterwards, Seth and her grandmother would go back to their duties.

As it began, the Galas of Seasons only included citizens within the same city as the capital, Fable. But, as time went on, more and more surrounding cities and towns began to arrive, taking the week away to come and visit the city and its sights. They knew that their government would protect them when it came to the Festival Night. This year, however, many rumors of other countries’ ships arriving at the docs floated through the halls—something Kendra’s grandparents had yet to mention to her or the general public, if the rumors were true at all. If Kendra had to guess, considering the situation she all-too-well understood she found herself in…

Lena lifted the circlet from the top of Kendra’s desk, placing it carefully, delicately on her head. “And these guests,” Lena said, “why do you believe they are here, now of all times?”

Of course Lena knew. Kendra should have guessed Lena knew practically every goings-on within the castle walls, not excluding Kendra herself. After a long pause from Kendra, Lena continued. “You’re meant to start courting someone.”

The clock began to tick again, this time with deeper, more resounding clicks closer to funeral bells. It spun its hands around her lungs and squeezed as tightly as it could; the pointed ends stabbed into her, causing her to deflate as she sat there.

The tapping on the arm of the chair began once again.

Kendra slowly nodded and began to talk, her voice gaining speed as she continued. “I’m meant to choose a groom soon, or at least start to pursue someone in hopes of marriage later on. I’m getting closer to eighteen, and the expectations were destined to be placed upon my shoulders sooner than later. If I don’t start soon, the people will begin to ask questions. Instead, I need to figure out which country we may benefit the most from if they were to be our…” her voice faltered, “ally—in such a way but I’m not sure-”

“Or,” Lena interjected with a slight shrug, “You could follow your heart, as my dear husband once did.”

Kendra rose from her seat, turning from the mirror and instead beginning to walk towards the door. “I… I can’t. I have to choose a prince or a young king. If I don’t then there’s a wasted opportunity there, a potential better future that I’ve walked past for us—that we’ve all walked past,” she added quickly. “I have the option to use this for the betterment of the kingdom, and I will.”

As Kendra walked closer to the exit, Lena followed. “Is that what your grandparents did?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then why would they expect the same thing of you?”

Kendra didn’t have anything to say to that, instead pushing open the old, creaking wood door to the hallway. Sure, her grandparents weren’t pressuring her directly to court a prince or king, but the responsibility came with her current situation. One never has to make a good decision, but it’s always better advised. Kendra understood that.

“Dear,” Lena said, catching Kendra only long enough to move a small strand of hair from in front of her face to behind her ear. “Marry someone you love, if you wish to marry at all.”

Kendra waited for a long, stretched moment before speaking again. “Lena, maybe in your and grandma’s time, marriage didn’t have as heavy a precedent as it does now, but the world is in tense collaboration more often than not. If anything, anything goes wrong, then that tension will snap, and we need allies. If marriage is a way to get one…” Kendra sighed. “Then that’s what I’ll do.”

Lena’s smile slowly fell into something much sadder. “Why?”

“Don’t ask me questions like that,” Kendra muttered, and Lena gave a slight, small laugh. Kendra didn’t often break her formal manner, but for Lena… Well, it happened more often than not, a surprising fact for someone as prominent and important as Lena. One might think Kendra would wish to be more formal with her, and yet that could not be farther from the truth.

“…Seth doesn’t have to choose anyone soon, not that I know of-” Kendra began as she started down the stairs. Before she could finish, or before Lena could ask another question Kendra knew she would dread, the door at the bottom of the staircase slammed open. Kendra could hear someone running up the stairs, breathless. 

Seth—speak of the devil—appeared briefly in the layers of stairs below them, leading to a preemptive sigh from Kendra. As he got closer, almost running into and over them, he stopped, eyes widening. He leaned against the railing, smiling in such a way that every bone in Kendra’s body revolted.

“What did you do?”

“I haven’t even said hi,” Seth said, still trying to catch his breath. Pointedly, he continued with a smile, “So, hi Lena, Kendra.” He nodded. “What time is it?”

“Don’t you have a watch on you?” Kendra looked her brother up and down. His outfit, nothing fancy, had such a rumpled look to it that she perhaps didn’t even want to know of his previous actions. Of course, it didn’t help that his eyes darted to the corners of the room as she watched “You’re not even dressed yet, and the Gala is starting in less than an hour. Seth-”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll go see Calvin in a second.” Seth seemed to be practically vibrating as he switched between one step and the next, obviously feeling forced to talk. “But for right now, what time is it?”

Lena pulled out a golden pocket watch from her dress, the chain connected from within the many folds. On its back were engraved lily pads, the gold shining and textured to resemble a rippling pond. “It’s a quarter until six.”

Seth simply blinked, staring at her.

“Five-forty-five,” Kendra supplied. “We need to be down at six.”

“Right, thanks!” Seth began to go up the stairs once again before stopping and turning. “Do you have a compass in your room?”

“Why do you need a compass?”

“Reasons. Yeah or no?”

Kendra rolled her eyes, barely. Lena looked between the two of them, a smile still prevalent on her face. “Use your own compass, I think you stole my last one. My only one, to remind you.”

Seth waved his hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Fine. I’ll use one of my own.” He paused again. “If I can find one,” he said, mind wandering as he started back up the stairs, murmuring to himself.

Kendra continued walking down the steps, trying to ignore the pooling feeling in her gut, not of… dread. No, something much more wary that stirred in her, compelling her to follow. But, Kendra knew she had a duty, things she needed to do. She couldn’t be burdened to watch his every step anymore.

So, she continued down the echoing steps. Lena watched, almost seeming to evaluate Kendra’s actions. To the depths of her heart, Kendra wished to ignore any kind of judgment Lena had to offer. Lena had the ability to look through Kendra, see almost everything within her, more than Kendra often understood.

“Do you ever wonder what he’s doing?” Lena asked, innocently, as she continued down with Kendra.

“Sometimes.” Kendra shrugged. “I did when we were kids-”

“You both still are children-”

“-but I’ve almost given up. He’s everywhere at once, and I can't even attempt to keep up with him as well. There are plenty of other things that I need to keep my attention on. Besides, I have… bare minimum trust in him. I just hope he’s not taking that and running with it.”

“…He’s becoming the Captain of the Guard in around four years, is that correct?”

“Once he turns twenty, yes.” The door upstairs squeaked as it opened, slamming shut with a reverb. “And I have never been more concerned for this country’s safety than when I heard that news.”

Lena laughed, the sound casting itself back over the two of them, surrounding them, and the silence outside of Kendra, the rushed words within her, settled ever so slightly.

Smoke curled into whisps, rising high from the churchwarden pipe as another breath exited the man’s lips. The night’s chill rose to surround him, wrapping him in a shivering embrace as he stood in the middle of the immaculate garden, something belonging to the Burgess family. Cool metal dug into his back from a bench he leaned against, feeling much too restless to ever sit.

Dedicated, the bench claimed, to Marshall Burgess, an old king of Fablehaven. This ‘centerpiece’—one of many—professed legacy, money, and sophistication. Despite this, the man saw no beauty in it. All of the flowers in the garden were crafted carefully with Source magic, perfect down to the veins in the petals. Created for beauty, nothing more and nothing less.

Fake. The whole garden felt fake.

The man scoffed, taking another breath from the pipe as he moved away from the bench, closer to the lake. The lake, something more loved, a more permanent thing than anything else in the museum of a place, enticed him more. The lake had imperfections, rocks set deep into the earth with small plants growing up and over the stones. Flowers of all kinds, natural flowers, twisted up between the rocks. The water rippled with every wind, green tints from growth underneath peeking through. Fish flashed under the water between lily pads, and the man slowly brought himself to his full height as he watched.

The man rightfully believed the previous queen established the pond, many years before her abdication. She often frequented the quiet spot to sit and read with her husband while he lived. Now, it stood to be more of a sentimental place, people often said, where she sat in silence, in mourning and in grief.

Not that the man particularly cared. Better to know your opponents and understand the actions they may take, rather than be surprised by them at a later date. He knew how loyal she could be when it came to family, to those she loved. And, the man knew the treasures she held in the pits of the castle, unknown by most, even those who lived within the same walls. That became the thing that intrigued him.

Most of his… endeavors started on a smaller scale. A penny here, a silver piece there. Once he began to amass more followers, more friends, in his trade they began larger operations. A Duke left without his riches, a tax collector out of a job after all of the money he collected mysteriously disappeared. On and on, the man could name stories of people he had fucked over, and he would smile and laugh while telling the tale. Yet, this time, his hire offered him more money than he had ever seen in one place at a time—and the man had many times found himself in the vaults of rich nobles.

The man pulled each finger of the glove off of his hand, one at a time, sharp nails exposing themselves to clear air. He bent over, holding his hand above the water before a snap movement ended with a small fish in his hands. He watched it struggle for a moment before holding it above his head, letting it slip from his fingers into his mouth.

Of course, his mouth extended a little too far, his teeth a little too sharp in a few too many rows, covered by his gums. His tongue, a deep black color, flicked from his mouth as his illusion shuddered. No longer stood a rich, snobby prince. Instead, something more akin to, something better described as, a so-called monster stood in his place. Citizens, if they had seen him, would have raised their torches, calling for a hunt. Unbeknownst to them, one small note, one small hum, and he could easily lure them into an apathy or entice in them a sense of desire, whatever he wished.

The man quickly replaced his glove as he heard the faint noises of a door opening. It closed, swift and soft, without a noise. From it, a girl walked onto the path that led to an exit back to the town. She wore a lady-in-waiting’s dress, makeup foundations smeared across her hand and arm. She held a small clutch, and a hooded cloak laid over her head, short blond hair barely escaping its heavy folds. Her eyes, partially hidden, had a slight red quality to them, puffed as if she had been crying.

Emotion, as many people who worked with the man always eventually realized, stood as a weakness whenever he got involved. If he could weasel his way into one’s mind, through the olive branch they extended to him, he could control the direction of the situation. Charm had cost many people a fortune, and it had paid him back that same amount. He could earn what many people did in a lifetime’s amount of work with a simple bow and flourish.

“Um, hello!” The man called out, hearing his illusions skitter and bounce in the area back to his own ears. No longer low and grinding, his voice sounded high, much like a pubescent, snobby noble from a neighboring country. “Are you quite alright? I’m afraid I got the time wrong for when the Gala starts. I wondered if you would be able to help me with something.” He held out his gloved hand, and with a slight hum filling the air, the girl’s eyes began to grow a light purple sheen like a second eyelid.

“My name is Casey Hancock.”

With a slight hesitation quickly overruled by the growing purple tint sliding across her eyes, she took the man’s hand, shining in the pale moonlight, a reflection off of the lake.

“Alyssa Carter.”

Casey smiled wide. “Nice to meet you, Alyssa.”

The whisper floated through the night, the wind carrying it high into the stone building, and Kendra felt the hair on the back of her neck stand.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Learning New Things

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Twenty-Four

A JSE Fanfic

After the two-part romp of the gang exploring Caverns & Creatures, it's back to business. The kids have exams coming up before winter vacation, so they have to buckle down and study and try to ignore anything supernatural happening. But that proves impossible for JJ and Marvin, as they finally figure out what that strange doll does. And they're not fond of it. Hopefully next chapter we'll reach winter vacation so the kids will be a bit more free :) Big things are planned! We just gotta build up to get there ^-^

More of this AU | From the Start | Read on AO3 at CrystalNinjaPhoenix

++++++++++++++++++++

Even with all the supernatural battles they’d fought since summer, Chase thought that exams were the worst struggle he’d had this year. And this was only for the end of the fall term! He was dreading how much exams would suck  at the end of the school year. November and December flew by in a blur of assignments. He tried to put them off for as long as possible, but not only was Mom constantly asking him about homework, but so was Schneep. “I would be willing to help, if you need it,” he was constantly saying.

Chase turned him down every time. “I’m never gonna figure it out if I get help,” he said. “Besides, you’re also busy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I am always on the top of my class work,” Schneep would reply. “And we have some same classes, I could definitely help with those.”

The first time he said that, Chase said, “Great! Can I see your work, then?” And Schneep slapped his arm and said something about cheating that Chase couldn’t quite make out, since half of it was in German. So Chase learned to quietly accept the help Schneep provided. It felt a bit weird to get help from someone younger than him, but Schneep was really smart, so it wasn’t too weird. Still, there were some times when Schneep was at a loss for how to explain things. Especially with maths. Maths were Chase’s worst subject. The numbers just didn’t click in his brain.

Still, he struggled on. It was so hard to concentrate with the other big thing coming up. That being, only the greatest holiday of the year: Christmas. He couldn’t wait! The lights, the presents, the decorations, the songs! And he had to get presents for Schneep and the others! And maybe he could save up to get something for Mom, too? What did Mom like? Books and stuff, right?

Chase was sure that every single kid out there was as excited for this holiday as he was. But one day, at lunch—

“What do you mean you don’t like Christmas?!” Chase gasped.

Marvin shrugged. “At home, basically every day after our birthday is fucking soaked in Christmas. You saw the lights were up already, right? I’m pretty sure they put those up on November first.”

Usually, yes, but not this year, JJ said. Didn’t you notice? They waited until the day after you were home.

“Uh... not really,” Marvin said. “But that’s, uh, good.” He looked back at Chase. “Anyway, yeah, ‘cause of that I don’t really care about Christmas all that much.”

Me neither, JJ agreed. The best part of Christmas is that our grandma stays with us until New Year’s. Other than that? I’m not a fan.

Chase stared at them in disbelief. He looked at Stacy. “What about you?”

“Uhhhh... I-I don’t have any... strong feelings,” Stacy said awkwardly.

“How can you not have strong feelings?!” Chase turned to Schneep. “Come on, Schneep! Christmas is great! Like—you’ve gone to our family Christmas parties in America! I’ve seen you there!”

“Well, Mama and Papa would fly us over for the party, and then we would sleep in a hotel and leave the first thing the next morning,” Schneep said.

“Huh? Well... I guess I never really saw you guys hanging around...” Chase and his parents would always fly to his grandparents’ house a week before the actual party, doing stuff in town and spending time with the rest of the family who would gradually show up over the following days. He realized he never did see Schneep or his parents there outside of the party on Christmas Eve. It was one of the reasons he hadn’t been close with Schneep before Mom took him in. “You guys would fly back on Christmas morning? What about opening presents?”

Schneep looked down at the table. “Most of Christmas was Papa’s business things. If I was good during the time, I-I would... get my present at the end of the day...” He slowly trailed off.

Chase clenched his fists, angry, and then took a deep breath and nudged Schneep beside him. “Well I can show you how Mom and me do things this year, then! It’s so much better than that!” Schneep smiled softly.

“So, you guys are gonna fly to America for Christmas?” Stacy asked.

“Uh... I dunno,” Chase said. “We usually do, we leave right after exams are done. But, uh, a while ago Mom asked me how I’d feel about staying here this year. And I... said I’d be fine with that.” He shrugged, trying to look unbothered about it. He would really miss the Christmas party this year. But... it wouldn’t be the same without his dad there, too. And since the party was on Mom’s side of the family, he probably wasn’t going to be there.

“Aunt Jess asked me something similar,” Schneep said quietly.

“Winter holiday would fucking suck without you guys,” Marvin said.

Yes, I agree, JJ said.

Stacy frowned. “You should add, like, ‘no pressure’ to the end of that or something.”

No pressure, JJ added. Then he blinked, looking momentarily confused, but dismissed it.

“Well, ah, moving on from Christmas,” Schneep said. “Have you all figured out anything more about the strange doll?”

JJ glanced to the side—no doubt looking towards his locker. Apparently the doll would show up in his bag if he carried it around school with him, but if he left his bag in his locker it would stay there.

“Well, uh, last night we tried seeing if a knife did anything to it,” Marvin said.

“What?!” Stacy gasped.

“It didn’t, don’t worry,” Marvin said. “But then again, we didn’t do too much. We just kinda... pressed it against the doll. Didn’t cut through the cloth or anything. But! JJ couldn’t feel that.” JJ nodded. “So it’s probably fine. He also didn’t feel it when we dropped the doll out the window again. Or stacked books on top of it.”

“And... you two just did this on your own?” Schneep asked, worried.

We were careful! JJ said.

“What if something worked?! You would be hurt!”

“It’d be fiiiine, we were careful!” Marvin said. “Very slow about it. JJ was able to stop things if he started feeling weird.”

“You guys are crazy,” Stacy muttered.

“I mean... I guess if it worked?” Chase figured, gesturing vaguely. “Anyway. You guys notice any grown-ups who might be in the Circle watching you or anything?”

JJ shrugged. I think... the attention has started to fade, maybe.

“We’ll be able to go back to normal stuff once we reach winter holiday!” Marvin said cheerfully. “And once the fucking exams are over—fucking hell, I always forget how much I hhhate them.”

“If you are in trouble of failing, I could try to help you learn,” Schneep offered.

“Nah—you guys are a year below us, your shit is all different,” Marvin said. “Thanks, though. I don’t think I’ll fail anything, but... uh...” Marvin trailed off. For a moment, he looked... afraid. Not mortally afraid, but still. There was fear in his expression. Chase knew immediately what it meant. He was afraid that he actually would fail something.

“Well, uh, getting bad grades isn’t the end of the world,” Chase said awkwardly. “I did really bad on my exams last year. I, uh... couldn’t study.” Couldn’t bring himself to study. He ended up spending most of April and May lying in bed and feeling bad. Maybe he should’ve tried a bit harder? “B-but I ended up alright!” he hurriedly added, partly to push away his own doubtful thoughts.

I’m helping Marvin, don’t worry, JJ said. He smiled. He’s not going to get bad grades if I can help it.

Marvin laughed. “Yeah. And, uh... really thanks for that, JJ.”

Of course. You’re my brother.

“Do you think Jackie could tutor you guys?” Stacy asked.

“He’s probably busy,” Marvin said. “He’s in sixth form this year, right? That’s gotta be a lot of schoolwork. But I guess we can ask if things get really fucking bad.”

Chase frowned. “I still don’t really understand what sixth form is... even though I’ve lived here for years now, I just don’t get it. Is it like... a different school? But it happens in the same building?”

“Yeah, I think it’s special stuff to help you prepare for like... going to uni and shit,” Marvin said, frowning. “Well, whatever. We don’t have to deal with that for a couple years. And Jackie’s smart. I’m sure he’s doing good even if it’s a lot.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Chase nodded. Jackie was really cool and smart. He was probably dealing with exams better than most of them.

++++++++++++++++++++

“I’m so fucking dumb,” Jackie said, slamming his head down on the open textbook.

“You’re not dumb,” Fengge said reassuringly. “You’re just not good at taking notes.”

“Because taking notes is booooriiiiing,” Jackie groaned.

He was with the rest of his friends, sitting around a table in Fengge’s house. His parents had a full-on library attached to the side of their house. Well... it was a single room with floor-to-ceiling bookcases surrounding it. But there were still a lot of books in here! And the bookcases lent the room a sort of soundproofing, so the friend group tended to gather here when it came time to study.

“I’m with you,” Missy said, idly doodling on a corner of her notebook. “Not fun. And not all that helpful.”

“Studies show that note-taking is very helpful, actually,” Rama muttered. “Otherwise I would not remember how to calculate the area of a... uh... an ellipses.”

“Pi times semimajor axis times semiminor axis,” Sylvester said.

“Whoa! You know that off the top of your head, Syl?” Missy said, eyes wide. “Impressive!”

“It’s, uh, really not.”

“Smart and good at Gym—you’re a rare breed, Sylvester Shepard!” Missy said, leaning close to him.

Sylvester frowned. “...I feel like all smart people should be offended by that.”

“Oh, uh.” Missy slowly leaned back “I didn’t mean it like that. I just... think you’re great.”

“Oh. Um, thanks.”

“You two need a room,” Celine muttered.

While his friends bantered, Jackie lifted his head and stared down at the textbook. Why did he need to take Biology again? He didn’t want to have a job that would need it... maybe. He thinks. What did he want his future job to be? The question stuck in his head for a while before it slowly fell out, a thick syrup like all the rest of his current thoughts. He could think about his future later. Right now, his present was full of homework. Come on, concentrate. What was something important about Biology that he remembered? The structure of an animal cell... “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,” he muttered.

“Maybe we take a break,” Fengge said, reaching over to close Jackie’s textbook for him. The pages gently slapped Jackie’s cheek, since his head was still pretty close to the book.

“I’m fine, I can keep going,” Jackie said, putting a hand in the book as he sat up so Fengge couldn’t fully close it.

“Yeah, no, clearly not,” Ram said. “Breaks are good for you, Jackie.”

“Welp. I’m all for it.” Missy closed her notebook. “Now what d’we do during the break?”

“We could... watch a movie?” Sylvester said.

“That break sounds a little too long,” Celine said. She put her books down and moved them into a little stack. “Let’s just chat. I actually wanted to tell you something, Jackie.”

“Hmm?” Jackie perked up. “What is it?”

“You’re still looking for that Jack guy, right?”

Jackie immediately sat up straight. “Yeah?”

“Well I talked to my brother, Mr. Student Body,” Celine said. “He said that when Jack’s parents had to pull him out they were required to give a moving address. To prove they’re moving out of range. I guess. He said it’s probably still in the records, so that the school can send them letters.”

“Why would the school want to send a former student letters?” Sylvester asked. “I know universities do that, but... our school?”

Celine shrugged. “It’s what he said.”

Jackie’s mind was racing. “Do you think you could...? Do you think I could ask your brother for...?”

Celine grinned. “He wouldn’t tell you, Jackie. But fortunately, I have myself some ways.” She wriggled her fingers mystically. “I can figure it out for you... for a price.” That last part was added in a spooky voice.

“I’m not giving you thirty pounds,” Jackie said, straight-faced.

“Twenty?”

“Fifteen.”

“I’ll take it.”

“Done.” Jackie reached into his pocket and dug around for his wallet. He opened it up, took out a few loose bills, and handed over seven. “The rest on completion.”

“Hehehe.” Celine grinned. “That’s fair.”

Sylvester watched this all happen. “You guys freak me out sometimes.”

“But you looove us,” Jackie said teasingly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Why are you so curious about Jack McLoughlin, anyway, Jackie?” Ram asked. “Is it because of the name incident?”

“Uh... I just want to talk to him about some stuff,” Jackie said. “I... think he could help with it.”

“Hmm. That is fair.”

A moment passed in silence. “We could ask my mom for snacks,” Fengge said, looking towards the library door. “That would probably help with everything.”

“Oooo snacks!” Missy said. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

The group got up and headed out of the room towards Fengge’s kitchen. Jackie tried to keep his face neutral. If they could reach Jack, they could see if he really was connected to Anti. And if they could take care of Anti, they could stop these monsters for good. Or at least, stop Anti from getting them forcibly involved with the monsters. The rest? Well... he and the kids would figure it out eventually.

++++++++++++++++++++

Marvin stared at the worksheet sitting before him. He was sitting on the floor of his and Jameson’s shared bedroom, the worksheet sitting on a stack of books that formed a makeshift table. He really wished that they had a desk in their room. Honestly, he was surprised that Mam and Dad hadn’t already gotten one for JJ. But their room was pretty small; he wasn’t sure where a desk would fit, anyway.

A flush echoed down the hallway, and a few moments later, JJ appeared in the doorway. Sorry about that, he said.

“Literally don’t worry about it, it’s so normal,” Marvin said.

JJ sat down next to him. While I was gone, did you figure out the answer?

“Uhhh...” Marvin looked back down at the paper. “It’s... x = 12, right?”

Marvin, this is your World History homework, JJ signed gently.

“I know, I know. Just... thought I’d make a joke.” Marvin smiled weakly at JJ. When JJ didn’t smile back, he sighed, and put his head in his hands. “This fucking sucks, JJ. When am I ever gonna need to know this? I don’t think Chinese dynasties will come up a lot in my life.”

You could have taken English History instead, JJ pointed out.

“But I’ve taken English History every year! We never get any farther than, like, the fucking 1830s.”

Well, maybe this year would’ve been different if you took it, JJ said.

Marvin groaned. “Whatever. Just... help me out with this. It’s... Zhou, Shang, Qin—”

The first two are reversed, actually.

“Fuck.”

JJ smiled. Do you remember that little song I taught you to help with this?

“I do! I just... got the first two reversed.” Marvin groaned.

Let me see your textbook, JJ said.

Marvin pulled it out from the pile, opening it up. “I’m working on this chapter.” Some papers were sandwiched between the pages, covered in graphite writing. His notes. “And here’s what I got.”

JJ looked over the notes. The problem is that you’re being TOO detailed, I think. You’re never going to remember a long sentence like this. You have to jot down something shorter that reminds you of the longer fact. This is why people make acronyms and such.

“But... it all seems important,” Marvin said slowly.

JJ nodded. It does, but if you can remember a fact that’s linked to other facts, then the rest will come to you. Or at least, that’s how it’s always worked for me.

Marvin nodded back. “Alright. So... what should I focus on with this?”

The exam will probably ask you for a bunch of dates, so focus on those, JJ said. So you have to come up with ways to remember all those numbers. For me, I like to—

More footsteps came down the hallway. Dad peered into the open bedroom of their room. “What are you boys working on?” he asked.

“Uh... studying, Dad,” Marvin said.

“Oh really?” Dad smiled. “Working hard, huh? What’re you looking at now?”

“Um, World History,” Marvin said.

“Hmm?” Dad looked confused. “Jameson, I didn’t think you were taking World History.”

JJ blinked. I’m not... he said slowly. ...but I’m helping Marvin.

“Oh? So... you’ve already gotten all your own homework done, then?”

JJ hesitated. He nodded.

“Really?” Dad raised an eyebrow doubtfully. “So if I went down to check on your homework on the table downstairs, your essay would be done?”

Oh shit. The essay. Marvin glanced at JJ worriedly, knowing that he hadn’t even started it. It’s not due until next week, JJ said.

“It’s never good to procrastinate, Jameson. That only leads to sloppy work at the last minute. You need time to edit your writing and double-check that you’re doing the best work you can. You don’t often get second chances in life.” Dad smiled in a... well-meaning way. “Now. Go down and work on your homework and don’t stop until you’re done with that essay.”

JJ stood up right away, nodding, and headed out of the room. Marvin looked after him, surprised at how fast he got up and left. Usually when something like this happened, JJ at least took time to reassure Marvin that he’ll be back later. Or to remind Marvin about some important fact or studying method. Not this time. It was fine, but... confusing. And Marvin would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little hurt, wondering if he’d done something wrong. But it was too late to say anything. JJ was already gone, leaving Dad standing awkwardly in the bedroom doorway. “Well... good luck, Marvin,” Dad said, and went back down the hall towards his and Mam’s bedroom. 

Marvin sighed and looked back at his notes and worksheets.

Meanwhile, JJ was sitting at the kitchen table, pencil in hand, before he even realized what he was doing. He just—got up like that? How rude! He should go back upstairs to apologize to Marvin, at least. And finish what he was telling him. Maybe he could even take his books upstairs with him. Even though he usually left them at the kitchen table so he could do homework on a proper flat surface, it would be better to do homework together, wouldn’t it?

He started to get up.

Or, at least... he tried to.

He pushed the chair back from the table, but when he thought about standing up... his body just didn’t listen. He continued to sit there.

Okay, that was annoying. Come on, JJ. There would be no real consequence to delaying for a moment. Mam and Dad probably wouldn’t even notice if he popped back upstairs. Come on. Stand up.

But his legs wouldn’t move.

Jameson’s eyes widened in alarm. He looked down at the pencil in his hand, and told himself to let go of it. But the result was the same. His fingers stayed wrapped around the wood. He wasn’t gripping it tightly or anything. Just holding it casually. But he couldn’t... let... go.

He stared at his hand, utterly baffled for a moment. And while he did that, he found himself pulling the chair closer to the table. His other hand grabbed a piece of paper from the stack nearby and set it in front of him. And then... the pencil started to move. It pressed to the paper, and his eyes widened as he felt his hand write his name at the top without his intent.

What was this?! What was happening?!

The pencil wrote down his name, the class, and the professor’s name, and then stopped. Desperately, he tried to push back from the table again, but every time he thought about it his body stayed still. His eyes widened and his breathing started to speed up as panic crept up on him. Why?! Why couldn’t he stand up?! He looked around the kitchen, eyes darting, head turning. Was there something strange in here?! No, he couldn’t see anything. His eyes looked back down to the paper. Was he—was he being compelled to do his homework? Why?!

No no no, he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to go back upstairs and help Marvin. This wasn’t due for a while, but Marvin’s worksheet was due the day after tomorrow! He had to help him a bit more, at least!

Why couldn’t he stand up?!

A small whimper came from his throat. He continued to struggle against whatever force was keeping him here, against whatever was keeping him still. But he couldn’t fight it. He thought about crying out for help—Granmam was in the living room, she would hear him before Marvin or his parents did. But, as always, his throat closed up.

Maybe—maybe if he just got through the essay, this would go away? Maybe if he focused long enough to do it, he could get up afterwards? He wasn’t going to be stuck sitting here forever, he couldn’t be!

His vision was starting to blur with tears. Focus! Calm down! Just calm down! He didn’t have to write a good essay, he just had to write something.

Slowly, he took shaking breaths, and tried to concentrate on the words. He just... had to write about... what was he writing about? A book? Right, The Count of Monte Cristo. What prompt had he chosen, again? Something about... morality in the book?

Concentrate, concentrate. Everything would be okay if he could concentrate.

...

...

Time passed. He wrote slower than he usually did, counting the words until he was done, trying to write around wet spots on the paper. Finally, he finished it off with a weak conclusion paragraph. He leaned back, breathing slowly, blinking up at the ceiling. Then he tried to stand up.

It worked. Just as normal. It was so normal, in fact, that for a moment he doubted anything had happened. But no. He would never be able to forget that.

He walked out into the hallway, reaching the staircase—

“Jems!” Granmam was in the hallway already, walking towards the kitchen. Next to her feet, their kitten Sinney wound around her legs. But they both stopped as they saw Jameson, Granmam staring in shock. “Are you alrigh’, lad?”

Jameson was aware that his eyes were red and his face was red. But he couldn’t explain what just happened. He—he didn’t know how to. So he just hurried up the stairs, not looking at her as he climbed.

Marvin had given up on the worksheet and was now lying on Jameson’s bottom bunk, flipping through the instruction manual for his magic kit. He initially didn’t look up as he heard Jameson come in. “Hey, d’you think I could use my greenlight powers to do some of these for real?” he asked. And then he looked up. And he went white. “Wh-what happened?”

Jameson shook his head. I don’t know! I couldn’t move!

“What do you mean?” Marvin sat up straight.

I went down to the table and I couldn’t move I couldn’t stand up and the only way to fix it was to write the essay and I don’t know what it was but it must have been something weird and magic and scary— Jameson’s signs started to fall apart as the panic returned.

“Whoa, whoa, hey!” Marvin quickly scrambled to his feet and walked over to JJ. He put his hands on his shoulders. “Calm down. Breathe, JJ. Please.” His voice was soft. Gentle. A solid anchor to grab onto.

JJ took a few deep breaths and wiped his eyes. It must have been something related to Anti or the greenlight or something. That wasn’t normal.

Marvin shook his head. “No, it wasn’t. Hang on. I-I was thinking about this, and I might be able to sense the greenlight...”

JJ nodded slowly. He knew that Marvin had been practicing on that. So far, he’s been able to pick up on ‘vibes’ from the weird doll and some of the rocks in his collection.

While Marvin closed his eyes, concentrating, JJ heard footsteps come up the stairs. Granmam stopped in the doorway to their bedroom, holding Sinney in her arms. “I was wond’rin’ if you two wanted some playtime with the kitten.”

Marvin’s eyes immediately opened up again. “Sinney!” He went over to the corner, grabbing a cat toy that he’d left there. He dangled it in front of Sinney, and she immediately leapt out of Granmam’s arms and pounced on it.

“Is there anyt’ing else you lads need?” Granmam asked, looking directly at JJ as she said that.

Jameson shook his head. No. But thank you, Granmam.

Granmam smiled. “Any time.” And she headed back downstairs.

JJ waited until she was gone to close the doorway. Then he turned back to Marvin. Did you get any vibes?

“No more than the normal ones,” Marvin said. “From there—” He pointed at his box of rocks. “—and there.” He pointed at the corner where they’d thrown the doll earlier. It was sitting on the floor casually. Like it was relaxing and staring at them.

JJ shivered. He walked over to the doll and turned it around so it was facing the wall instead. And... that’s when he noticed it. Does the doll look... bigger to you?

“Huh?” Marvin looked away from Sinney and towards the doll. “I... guess.” He paused. “It’s not, like, taller, but it does look... bigger? Like there’s more stuffing inside.” His eyes widened. “Do you think the doll did that to you?”

JJ nodded slowly. We HAVE been wondering what it does... 

“Holy shit. It... froze you in place?”

No, that wasn’t exactly what happened. He wasn’t just frozen. He was stuck there until he did his homework. JJ frowned. He had a crazy idea... He didn’t want it to be right, but there was one way to figure out if he was. Tell me to do something, he said.

Marvin blinked. “Huh?”

Tell me to do something, JJ repeated. Something I wouldn’t normally want to do.

“Okay, uh...” Marvin looked down at Sinney. “Meow like a cat.”

“Mew.” JJ’s eyes widened as the sound popped out of his mouth. 

Marvin glanced at him in surprise.

Now see what the vibes from the doll are, Jameson said.

Marvin narrowed his eyes at the doll in concentration. He gasped. “It—there was like, a spike in the vibes. A vibe spike.”

Tell me to do something else! Jameson insisted.

“Um, uh—do ten jumping jacks!”

JJ started jumping immediately. He tried to stop, but just like downstairs, his body didn’t listen to his brain. As he did this, panic on his face, Marvin looked over at the doll again. “Another vibe spike!” he gasped. “The—the doll—it’s—making you do stuff?”

JJ finally finished his jumping jacks, panting. It’s making me do stuff people are telling me to, I think.

“That’s so fucking fucked up!” Marvin gasped. “What the fuck?! And we’re pretty sure the Circle gave this to you, right?! What the fuck?! Why?!”

I don’t know, JJ said. But we need to message the others.

++++++++++++++++++++

“So you’ve never seen a Christmas movie?” Chase pushed. “Like, at all?”

Schneep shook his head. “No, and I am starting to get tired of you and everyone else talking about Christmas all the time.”

“Sorry. It’s just... such an important thing to me, you know?” Chase said. “It’s like... really big and happy and, uh... and good.” He shrugged. “Anyway, you gotta at least see one Christmas movie. Then I’ll leave you alone. Probably. I’ll try, I mean.” He was currently crouched on the floor in front of the TV, looking through their DVDs. Schneep sat on the sofa behind him. In his lap was a textbook and his small plushie bat, Mitternacht. “Uh... We can watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Or these stop motion things, I guess, they’re kinda boring. Nightmare Before Christmas is more of a Halloween one, I think, but we didn’t watch it in October so we could watch it now. Have you heard of any of these at all?”

Schneep shook his head. “No. I am sorry.”

Chase sighed. “Maybe you didn’t have any of these in Germany.”

“No, maybe we did. But my parents did not like me to watch television. Remember?”

“Yeah...” Chase frowned for a moment, then continued looking through the movies. “Oh! A Muppet Christmas Carol! That one’s fun. But my favorite is Home Alone. It’s funny. We can watch that.”

“Do you think I will like it?” Schneep asked.

“Yeah, sure! It’s about this kid who gets left home alone accidentally while his family goes to France for Christmas holiday. While the mom really tries to get back to him, he has to stop some burglars from getting into the house.”

“Ooo.” Schneep leaned closer. “Alright. I am... intrigued.”

Chase laughed. “Intrigued? Fancy word.”

“It means curious... I think. Or, ah... interested?”

“Can’t believe you know more English words than me sometimes,” Chase muttered, setting up the DVD.

Footsteps came down the stairs as Mom arrived in the living room. “What are you boys doing?” she asked. “Are you done with homework?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Chase said. “I’m showing Henrik Home Alone.”

Schneep nodded. He held out the textbook—apparently it was a habit of his to offer for Aunt Jess to check his work.

“Don’t worry about it, Henrik,” Mom said, knowing what he was asking. “Before you two get started, Chase, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure.” Chase stood up and walked over.

“Both of you,” Mom continued. She looked back and forth between Chase and Schneep. “How would the two of you feel about... having the family Christmas party here this year?”

“Huh?” Chase blinked. “Like... in our house?”

“Well, obviously our house isn’t as big as Grandma and Grandpa’s,” Mom says. “So the family wouldn’t actually stay in the house. They’d stay in a hotel.”

“Ohhh. Uh...” Chase thought about it. He did really like traveling back to America every year for the party. His grandparents’ house was great, they had a big TV and a big yard with a playground and so many rooms! But... He looked at Schneep. “What d’you think?”

“Ah... wh-who will be coming to the party?” Schneep asked, looking nervous.

Mom looked at him seriously. “Albrecht and Maggie won’t be invited if you’re not comfortable with them being there,” she said softly.

Schneep looked down at his lap. He messed with Mitternacht’s wings. “I... I would be... fine with... h-having the party here. As for Mama and Papa... ahm... a-ask me again l-later.”

Mom nodded. “Alright. If you’re sure.” She looked at Chase. “What about you? You know, if we have the party here... I was... thinking about inviting some of your dad’s relatives.”

Chase perked up. “Will Dad be there?” He hadn’t been expecting Dad to go to the Christmas party, since it was on Mom’s side of the family.

“I don’t know, sweets. Maybe.”

Chase nodded. “Y-yeah, let’s have the party here!”

Mom smiled. “Great. I’ll start sending out invitations, then.” She headed back upstairs. “You have fun watching the movie!”

“We will, Mom!” Chase shouted up after her. He grinned, thinking about it. What if Dad really did come to the party? What if—what if he could talk to him? About video games and baseball and everything? That would be amazing! Though his chest kinda hurt thinking about it... Not because he was sad. Because he was feeling... something else. He didn’t know what, though. It was... good, maybe? Maybe... he could ask Mom about that later. For now, he looked at Schneep. “Are you, uh... okay?”

Schneep nodded slowly. He was hugging Mitternacht to his chest. “Ah, can we... watch the movie now? You said it was funny?”

“Yeah.” Chase walked back over to the sofa and sat down next to Schneep in his usual place. While they’d been talking, the previews included on the DVD had been playing. He quickly pressed the menu button. “The movie’s from, like, years ago so some things are different, but the funny is forever.”

Schneep laughed a little. “I am very intrigued now.”

Chase laughed as well. “Hope it lives up to the intrigued, then.”

He pressed play on the remote and the two of them settled in for the movie, leaning close against each other. The first half of the movie proceeded normally, but then—

Beep!

He heard the text tone of his phone go off. Chase scooted over to the end table to grab it, looking at the message. It was from JJ. Emergency meeting tomorrow at zellys PLEASE!!!!

“Is it one of the others?” Schneep asked.

“Yeah... JJ says we need to meet tomorrow.” Chase frowned. The capital letters and multiple exclamation marks really wasn’t like JJ’s usual way of typing. He hoped everything was okay.

...

It would be fine, wouldn’t it? After all, the meeting isn’t now, it couldn’t be that bad if JJ was asking them to wait until tomorrow.

Chase slowly set the phone down. “I’ll ask him about the time after we’re done,” he said. Though he felt a bit bad about it, he was sure everything would be okay.

[twice-inamillion]

The Blues

TIS (73-74)

* Decided to put some of these chapters together to make easier to read. My parts are on the top and @coldfanbou ‘s comments are on the bottom. Easier to read both to understand. Hopefully this is easier to read.

Chapter 73:

As you begin to talk, Jihyo is sitting on her long couch and taps her lap and asks you if you like to lie down. You nod and you place your head on her lap. She wears a thin crop top that makes it easier for her whenever feeding Jisoo. Jihyo is listening to you as you tell her your worries, but you can't see her face due to her boobs are in the way. You stare and admire how big and beautiful they are. How the crop top covers the front part but there is no coverage from your point of view. She sees that you begin to develop a bulge on your pants as you are talking. This makes her get a bit excited since her body is not as it was before, but happy that you still get excited from her body. She digs her hands down your shorts and begins to jerk your cock. The way her hand feels and how much pleasure her hands give you is something you needed. You see that this is making her excited too as how she is leaking milk from her breast. You pull up her crop top and begin to suck on her left breast. She moans and you suck harder. This last for a while until you end up cumming in her hands. She cups the cum in her hand and shows you how much you came. She places her hand to her mouth and drinks all of it, showing you her mouth to confirm that it disappeared down the throat.

“I thank Jihyo for that, but at the same time I tell her that I want her. It's been so long since I've done anything with her, that it would shame to stop here. At the same time if she wants to stop here that would be fine I don't want to push her if she's not ready.”

Chapter 74:

Jihyo sees your satisfied face but wants to give you a bit extra. She goes to the bathroom and comes out with her crop top, loose short shorts and some stockings. You also see that she put some makeup on after not wearing some for a long time. You’re sitting on the chair and she dims the lights. She puts on some soft music and beings to give you a lap dance. The way her body moves gives a lot of sexual vibes. You get goosebumps and feel your bottom region getting hot. You try to touch her butt, only for her to slap your hand and tell you that you’re not allowed to touch or she’ll stop. She moves and you catch some bits of nipple here and there, but you are surprised when she bends over in front of you, and you see her ass cheeks spread open as well as her plump pussy with a trimmed bush. She goes down and goes up back again. She then spreads her cheeks in front of you, which makes you drool. She takes off your shirt and shorts and begins to ride you dry. She drags her pussy down your leg, and you see her juice all over your thigh. She kisses your neck and tells you in your ear that she really wants you and your cock in her really bad, but not when the baby is here. She gets off of you, stops the music and turns the lights back on, and tells you that you might get lucky next time.

“That's disappointing but, I can't help but chuckle. I'll tell Jihyo that maybe we'll have to let Jisoo's grandparents babysit while we have a date night. I'll try to gauge her interest in this idea.”

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!