#hopefully we can avoid more fires going forward

[aemondapologistfrfr]

His Princess - Pt7

fancast!bloody ben x targ!fem!reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Summary: The battle continues at Kings Landing as the dance begins in Harrenhal. When everything seems overwhelming there is a break on the horizon. Rhaenyra sends Y/n and Ben back to Harrenhal after they take Kings Landing to see the outcome. 

Warnings: 18+ battle/war, blades, blood, death, swearing, my version of the battle above gods eye(spoiler for the show bc it’s fr and it’s not cute) - mc but cannon death, beheading, alys spreading info like the gossip she is, after war and gossip oral(f receiving), fingering

Authors Note: hopefully the switching of the povs offers what I wanted it to!!!!, hate cole but i can’t deny he’s a good swordsman and would need at least two ppl to take him in a fight, i tried to keep gods eye minimal bc i can’t stand dragons fighting!!!, also daeron is not apart of this story bc i didn’t want another dragon to be hurt!

Word Count: 5.5k almost half of this is war

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Y/n Pov:

“Find him,” I sob to Vermithor and his growls shake the walls around the city as Silverwing and I give out an earth shattering cry as we circle the host raining fire upon the Greens. 

Vermithor gives out a bone chilling roar and sprays fire along the Gods gate. I’m turning my head searching for any sign of Ben as Silverwing follows close to Vermithor. I take notice of Vermithors wound but it’s more of just a scratch and the bleeding has already ceased much to my relief. My adrenaline rises to match my fear as my heart pounds wildly in my chest as we continue our search for Ben. 

Vermithor circles around where I last saw Ben and begins to fly down to the ground. He sprays the ground in dragon flame before he lands on the burning men as Silverwing lands us in the center of the fire next to him. The warmth licks at my armor as I watch the flames die around me. As the haze clears I see Ben cutting down men around him in a frenzy. 

I sob in relief as I see him still in one piece and quickly slide off of Silverwing. I slip the sword from my back and go to Ben’s side. My blade becomes an extension of myself as my body goes into a killing calm. Everything around me fades away as I face man after man. As I turn to my next victim I can see the burnt scorpion behind the host. 

Cole emerges from the ruins and bodies offering me a bloody smile. Our dragons step closer to me and bare their teeth. Their low growls and chuffs vibrate the ground beneath us. Ben turns to me and sees Cole walking over to me and quickly makes it to my side. 

“You need two dragons and a whores daughter to stand against me?” Cole laughs to Ben bitterly spitting.

“You will still die in the end.” I hum raising my sword.

“We shall see.” he charges forward with his blade in front of him and I quickly fold backwards to avoid his swing. 

Ben comes from behind and strikes with his sword and Cole barely avoids the metal. I rise once again and try to catch Cole from behind but he is quick on his feet. The three of us dance with our blades as the war continues to wage around us. My nerves start to rise as I see our host getting overwhelmed as both of our dragons are grounded with us for the moment. 

This moment of thought has costed me dearly. Pain washes through the side of my face as blood trickles down my neck as Coles sword slices my flesh. I give out a loud cry and Silverwing screams with me. 

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Harrenhal Pov:

The clouds hang low in the sky as the smell of rain on the horizon washes over the ruined castle. The sky is preparing to weep for the dance that will soon take place. Fog begins to roll in from the forest line casting everything in a gray light.  

“You will die here today.” Alys appears through the foggy gates walking to Daemon and Caraxes.

“As long as I take Aemond with me, I care not.” Daemon pulls his helm on and makes sure everything is secure.

“So eager to die before you meet your grandchild?” Alys tilts her head with a small smile.

“They’ll be better off without me.” he mounts Caraxes and shoots into the sky. 

Daemon has had enough of Alys’ mind games and doesn’t even bat an eye at the insinuation of having grandchildren. He never saw himself living long enough to see his children or wife contented. He knows this is the last thing he will be able to give them and he hopes it’s enough to change the tides of the war. 

Daemon circles around Harrenhal keeping his eyes peeled for Vhagar and her one eyed rider. He’s growing impatient but he can feel the promise of death in the air. Caraxes perches on one of the towers as they await their fate. A low grumble comes from the distance and Vhagar comes into view from the clouds. 

Daemon shoots into the sky and lures them away from the castle. He doesn’t much care for this castle but he knows many Lords will ask Rhaenyra for it so it must remain standing. He leads Aemond over the body of water called Gods Eye.

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Y/n Pov:

As I rise to my feet Ben is relentlessly bashing his sword into Coles. The metal song promises death. I try to find an opening to help Ben once more but he has a glazed look over his eyes as he slams repeatedly into Cole. I watch on in shock as I’ve never seen Ben fight like this. Some of his men stop and watch on as this one on one continues. 

Our dragons grumble as some of Coles men stand and watch. It seems as if this part of the wall is on a pause as they wait to see what happens. I rip a piece of my shirt off from under my armor and wipe off the side of my face. The cut seems to start just under my eye and travels down to my jaw. The dirtied cloth stings but it helps staunch the blood. Ben lets out a mighty roar and swings his long sword and I gasp with widened eyes.

“Your Kingmaker.” Ben yells as he raises Coles head into the air. 

He dips down and grabs Coles foot and drags it to Vermithor who grabs his leg in his claws. He returns to me still gripping Coles head in his hands and I look to him as he’s breathing heavily. He turns my face and looks at my cut as his nostrils flare.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers as the men begin to look around unsure if we’re to keep fighting. “To Silverwing.” he nods his head and begins to usher me over before he goes to mount Vermithor. 

Vermithor and Silverwing shoot to the skies and give out victorious growls. I look down at Vermithors claws as Coles headless body is being paraded through the air. He slides low to the Green host and they falter as they take on the body hanging above them. 

“Your Kingmaker is dead and your King dies at Harrenhal.” Ben proclaims as we fly along the walls. 

A loud grumble comes from the clouds and my heart stops as I see a large shadow approaching. As the dragon comes into view I squint my eyes trying to figure out who it is. It’s not Vhagar or any other I’ve ever seen. Silverwing chirps and flies to meet the new dragon. I shake my head thinking I must be delusional from blood loss as I spot Rhaena atop this dragon. 

“I figured I would help in the war!” Rhaena calls out as her dragon gives out a fierce cry and I look below as a sob rips through me as I see a grand host from the Vale and the North seeping through the tree lines running to meet the Greens host.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Harrenhal Pov:

Caraxes and Vhagar circle each other around the body of water and give out low grumbles. The sky begins to cry as the dragons close in on one another. The Blood Wyrm quickly twists around the old fossil as she barely turns in time for the first snap of teeth. Vhagar gives out a loud cry as Caraxes sinks his teeth into her neck. 

Vhagar pulls away from Caraxes and breathes fire upon him and Daemon. Daemon flies through the flame and straight for Vhagars rider. Aemond dips, narrowly avoiding Caraxes maw. They pull back from one another and the dragons circle above the water once more.

“You have lived long enough,” Aemond calls across the skies to Daemon. 

“Something we agree upon,” Daemon chuckles as he begins to unclip from Caraxes. 

The world seems to hold its breath as Daemon unsheathes Dark Sister and points to Aemond and Vhagar. Caraxes flies quick and hard latching onto Vhagar. Daemon jumps from his dragon to Aemond landing on Vhagars head. He sprints down on uneven feet as Aemond struggles to get his weapon or unclip from his saddle. 

“For my Queen,” Daemon roars as he pierces Dark Sisters through Aemonds one eye before everything goes black.

The dragon’s give out a cry and spiral down to the water. The impact could be felt well over a hundred miles. Blood rain falls from the sky as the false King and the Rogue Prince implode to their watery grave. 

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3rd person Rhaenyra Pov: 

Addam has been sent to recruit the small folk and hand out armor and weapons for those willing and able. Rhaenyra has slipped into the castle through the tunnels and has made quick work of finding her loyalists. She makes it to the throne room and lets out a breathy laugh. Alicent and Helaena are brought in and kneel before her. 

“Rhaenyra please,” Alicent pleads from her knees as Rhaenyra holds a blade to her throat. 

“You brought this upon yourself.” she looks down to Alicent with contempt. 

“The Kings are dead.” Helaena speaks softly from her place next to Alicent. 

“Which ones?” Rhaenyra turns her head to Helaena lowering the blade from Alicents throat. 

“All of them.” Helaena shakes her head and Rhaenyras blade falls out of her hand. 

“Ring the bells to let-“ 

“Your Grace, another dragon and a host.” Addam bursts through the throne room doors breathing heavily.

“Who?” Rhaenyra looks at him confused. 

“They say Rhaena with a host from the Vale and North.” Addam takes in the scene before him. 

“She’s done it.” Rhaenyra smiles breathing out a sigh of triumph and relief.

“They also say that Ben and Vermithor are flying around Coles headless body above the host. He carries his head on his back.” Alicent lets out a soft sob at his words. 

“Your son’s are dead. Your Kingmaker has been beheaded. You are surrounded. Ring the bells and save your remaining men.” Rhaenyra looks down to Alicent. 

“The common folk will remember this destruction.” Alicent narrows her eyes at Rhaenyra. 

“They fight your host from within the walls. You have lost.” Rhaenyra tugs Alicent up harshly and begins to bring her to the bell tower. 

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n Pov: 

My head cranes to the city as the bells begin to toll. All of the dragons surround the city and  give out one last cry before they start to the Keep. As we look down the fighting is slowing and swords are being lowered. I’m in awe as we fly through the city at the amount of small folk that are pushing the Greens out of the gates. 

Baela and Jace come into view and tears start sliding down my face as I see them unscathed and safe. Rhaena comes from behind the Keep with Addam trailing close behind her. Our dragons follow Syraxs call and we land perched on the main gates. 

We all dismount and make it down to the main courtyard. We all look to each other and my siblings take in mine and Ben’s appearance. Their eyebrows furrow as they see my cut and look to our blood and dirt covered bodies. I turn to Ben and see Cole’s head bouncing against his back as he approaches me. Vermithor lets out a low growl and flings Cole’s body to the center of the yard. 

“I see burning people wasn’t enough for you both.” Jaces voice drowns out as me and Ben look to each other. 

“Let’s find a witch to bring him back. I want to kill him slower.” his voice rough as he tilts my chin to look at my cut. 

“I’m okay.” I look up to him taking in the death that remains in his eyes. 

“We will find you a maester at once.” he pulls me with him into the castle. 

“Where are you two going?” Baela yells after us. 

I tug him to the throne room thankful he doesn’t know where the maesters chambers are. I must see my mother. I need to know who rang those bells and what it means. As the doors groan under my hands I behold my mother atop the throne with her crown on her brow. 

“Daughter,” Rhaenyra rises taking in my state. “My children,” her voice wavers as the rest of my siblings trail in behind me and Ben. 

“My Queen,” I bow. 

“Call for a maester,” Rhaenyra flicks her head to Jace and he’s out in the hall shouting in seconds. 

I huff as he brings in a maester who sits me on a chair and begins to clean my wound. Ben holds my hand as the maester beings to stitch up my cheek. Rhaenyra is lowly talking to my siblings about how their plans went and she finally turns to me and Ben. 

“I wish to see the head.” Rhaenyras voice travels through the hall. 

“The rest of him is in the courtyard.” Ben rises from my side and pulls the head from his back. He offers her the head holding it by his hair. 

“You’ve done me a great service, Benjicot.” she shakes her head at a loss for words. “What happened to your cheek?” Rhaenyra turns her attention to me. 

“Cole.” I say trying to steady my breathing as the maester pulls the thread in and out of my flesh for his last stitch.

“You fool,” she shakes her head before she leans down and engulfs me in a hug before she turns back to the group of us.

“We’ve done it, gather the remaining Lords so we may start about clearing out the traitors and moving forward.” she turns and nods her head to us. “Ben, Y/n,” she stops us before we exit.

“Yes?” we turn back to her. 

“I have one more immeasurable favor to ask of you both.” she whispers down to us. 

“Say it and it will be done.” I look to her with tired eyes but ready to do what she needs. 

“Go to Harrenhal and see what remains.” her voice barely a murmur as her eyes begin to tear. 

“We will go at once,” I nod my head. 

She walks out of the Keep with us as we take in the dragons and the wall crumbling under their claws. Her head snaps to the rest of Coles body that remains in the center of the courtyard. From beyond the gates we hear shouts and cries of agony from the people who were not as lucky. 

“Fly safe and stay together.” she pulls me and Ben into a tight hug. “Please return to me.” her voice a whisper as she looks to both of us. 

Ben turns to me and we finally have a moment alone to ourselves. I look into his eyes and he seems to be coming down from his adrenaline still. I wrap my arms around him and he holds me tightly against him. I care not of our blood and dirt and pull his lips to mine feverishly.

“I want you to fly with me and Vermithor,” he looks down to me separating our lips. 

“Ben, I’m fine,” I sigh looking up to him.

“I know, but I just want you by me.” his hold on me tightens.

“Then ask Silverwing,” I relent and he pulls away to turn to my dragon as I walk to his.

“You flew valiantly today, my beautiful Silverwing. Will you allow Y/n to fly with me and Vermithor on our next journey?” I turn from Verithors neck and see Silverwing nudge into Ben before he starts towards me.

“Up you go.” he softly tugs me towards his wings and I begin my climb. We quickly settle and take flight. Silverwing flies next to us and they both give out a victorious song to the men below before we coast out on the horizon.

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As we enter the Riverlands we can feel the great loss in the air. The clouds weep, cleaning off some of our blood and dirt as we make our way to the ruined castle. Our dragons give out low grumbles as we approach Harrenhal and begin to make our descent outside the main gates. 

Ben helps me off refusing to let me do anything on my own. He has a hand pressed against me at all times and grabs my hand for his own once we make it the ground. The heaviness in the air is unsettling while the wind sings an eerie song. 

The castle grounds are silent. We saw no dragons on approach and hear nothing as we look around for any sign of a threat. As we turn my heart goes to my throat as Alys appears. 

“Where are they?” I ask pulling the bone knife from its sheath and pointing it at her. 

“I would think you wouldn’t be so quick to show your child more death and violence. Though, you are your father’s child..” she trails off with a smile. 

“My child?” my eyebrows furrow as I raise the knife even higher. 

“The one you’ve been carrying for a moon now.” she nods to me and looks to Ben. I bring my free hand to my abdomen and try to think of any signs that her words are true. “I may have played mind games with your father but I can’t slip through your bond with the child’s father. He’s very protective.” she chuckles to Ben who is now trying to push me behind him. 

“Where is my father?” my voice wavers as my mind already knows the answer. 

“You’ll find him under the Gods Eye.” her skirts swish as she disappears behind the walls once more. 

“Stay with the dragons and I will go.” he looks down to me intensely. 

“You will not start with this overprotective male dominance now.” I huff as I try to walk past him but he grabs my arm to stop me. 

“Y/n,” he looks to me with pleading eyes as his hand travels to my lower abdomen. 

“After I find my father,” I shake my head and pull him along with me. 

We walk silently to the body of water just beyond the crumbling fortress. Our dragons follow behind us the ground shaking at their heavy steps. As we approach my breath catches taking in the blood splattered around the shores. 

Pieces of the once great dragons are jutting through the surface of the water. I can tell it’s both dragons by their coloring and a sob bubbles out of my mouth. My hand slips from Ben’s as I fall to my knees on the shore looking on at the still water. He kneels next to me and hugs me tightly. 

“I have to go find him.” I shake my head as tears begin to slip down my cheeks. 

I rise and start to walk into the once clear water that seems to now be stained a blush pink. Water licks at my thighs until I begin to start my swim. I swim around the masses in the water until I spot Caraxes. As I dip my head under the water to look for him my stitched cut screams in agony. 

I pull up for breath and begin to move around to see if I can find him anywhere else. I’ve been searching around Caraxes and have found nothing so I relent and begin my search around Vhagar. Ben shouts at me from the shore but I can’t abandon this search. 

As I dip down under the surface again my eyes blurry I spot Aemond in Vhagars saddle. I slip above the water to take in a deep breath before I dive down. My eyes bulge as I take in Dark Sister pierced through his remaining eye. I quickly scan the area and my remaining air bubbles out of my mouth as I see Daemon resting on the rocky bottom. I swim to the top and let out a loud sob. 

“Ben, I need you,” I cry and he’s running into the water and at my side in seconds. 

We swim below the surface and I rip Dark Sister from Aemonds head as Ben begins to lift and pull Daemons body to the surface. I grab on and help him carry him to shore. As we finally make it to the sands I sit silently looking down at his blade. 

“I-“ I shake my head as tears begin falling down my face. 

I let out a grief stricken scream and Silverwing quickly approaches the shores and curls near me. Ben holds me to him as my sobs continue to wreck me. My breathing finally settles and he looks up to me with sad eyes while wiping them away with his thumbs. 

“We need to prepare his body to bring back home.” I sniffle before getting to my feet.

“I’ll go see if there’s a maester or someone,” Ben rises wiping the sand off of him. 

“I told him he would die here.” Alys comes from the other side of the shore. 

“Are you just here to mock me and speak in riddles?” I yell exasperated. 

“I’ve brought this for your cheek. It’ll heal it better than those stitches.” she offers me a cup and I look at the foul smelling paste. “I’m also the only maester, if that’s what you want to call me, and I can prepare his body for your travels.” she offers and I cant tell if she’s sincere or not so I turn to Ben hoping he will deal with this situation for me. 

“What is this paste?” he grabs the cup from my hands. 

“Your dragons wouldn’t allow me to poison the mother of your child. Use it or don’t.” she chuckles turning her head to look at our dragons. 

“I want his body treated with respect. Bound and wrapped tastefully befitting a King. All of his armor is to be cleaned and properly packed so we may travel with ease. We will take our old chambers while you finish your work.” Ben pulls me to his side as we begin to walk to the castle once more. 

Our feet drag up the stairs as we stop in front of familiar doors. Ben pushes them open and escorts me to a chair to sit down. I place Dark Sister next to me and let out a shaky sigh. He kneels in front of me and locks his eyes with mine. 

“I’m sorry,” his words soft as he places the cup with the paste next to me and grabs my hands. 

“I had hoped he would make it.” tears still slide down my cheeks as he pulls me down into a hug.

“It seems as if Alys made you a bath. Let me clean you and help you relax.” he hums standing with me. 

He walks me to the bath and begins to remove my stained armor. I peel off my clothes as he starts to take off his armor. When he removes his shirt I can see small cuts littering his skin and I look at him with sad but thankful eyes that he’s still with me. He helps me slide into the bath and takes a seat next to me. 

The warm water lulls my muscles and I lean back resting my head on the lip of the small pool. I feel the water shift and he starts to undo my braids releasing their tension. I sigh in relief and allow my eyes to drift shut. He brings a cloth and soap to begin wiping my skin as I relax further into the water. 

“Do you want to try her paste?” his voice soft as I crack an eye open. 

“Sure, if anything bad happens Silverwing will eat her.” I shrug as he rises out of the bath. 

“I will kill her myself if she causes harm to you.” his voice trails to me from the couch before he returns. 

He applies a generous amount of paste to his fingers and brings his free hand to my jaw to tilt my head. I look up to him expectantly as he lowers his fingers to my cheek. I wince as the cold paste slides down my face and a shiver travels my spine as I feel the wound dispelling the stitches and doing its own work. 

“It’s healed.” his words almost a question as he tilts my head. He brings his hand up and shows me the black thread that was once holding my cheek. “That means she wasn’t lying.” his hand slides from my chin and he places it on my stomach. 

“Ben,” his name falls from my mouth as I allow myself to finally think about Alys’ words and the life growing inside me. 

“The mother of my children, my Princess, my wife.” his words filled with devotion as his lips softly press against mine. 

I let his lips wash away the day and all that’s come with it. His hand resting on my lower abdomen slides a little lower and I moan into his mouth as he circles my clit. His lips kiss down my now healed cheek and licks around my pulse. 

“I can’t wait to see you growing with our child.” he whispers in my ear as he dips his fingers into my core. “You’re gunna be even more beautiful.” I rest my head on his shoulder as my hips grind into his hand as my pleasure is already washing through me from my heightened emotions.

“Come let’s get you into bed while I find you some clothes. I’m sure we’ve left some behind.” he helps me out of the tub and walks me over to the bed always keeping a hand placed on me. 

“Ben I’m not going to break, I just fought alongside you in a war.” I huff but still allowing him to pull the covers over my body. 

“Do not remind me.” his rage seeps off of him. 

“Don’t work yourself up again.” I roll my eyes chuckling. “Come to bed, let’s forget today for a little while.” I pout my lips trying to pull him in with me. 

“I must find you clothes and food and a drink. Is there anything else?” he rambles as he begins walking to the doors. 

“Maybe some clothes for yourself? I know Harrenhal is empty but I don’t think the ghosts want you walking around nude.” I shake my head smiling. 

He pulls open the wardrobe and quickly slides on some pants and continues to rifle through what we’ve left. He pulls out wrinkled shirt next and shrugs before putting it on. He finds the shortest slip that’s been made in all of the seven kingdoms apparently and tosses it to me on the bed. 

“Now you have clothes.” he nods to himself before slipping out the door. I sigh and slip the piece of fabric on nonetheless. I pull the blankets closer and allow my eyes to rest while he’s off on his hunt. 

“I found some meat and cake and that’s about it.” Ben pushes the doors open jolting me awake. “And water. I’ve also spoken with Alys.” I stretch out wiping my eyes. 

“Pray tell what more Alys had to say.” I sigh as I hold my hands out expectantly for my water. 

“Just that she’ll have everything prepared for us by the morning. I’ve sent a raven to  Rhaenrya telling her that we will return tomorrow.” he hands me my glass of water and sits on the bed next to me with the tray of food. 

“You didn’t deliver the news of Daemon in that letter, did you?” I pull the cup from my lips. 

“No, she needs to see for herself.” he shakes his head. He starts to cut up the meat on the tray and goes to feed it to me. 

“Benjicot Blackwood,” I scold. “What happened to the man who made me and Silverwing hunt for him and his dragon?” I raise my eyebrows as a smile plays on my lips. 

“Shh, I’ll be the man now.” he tries to hide his smile as I accept the meat from the fork. 

“Then that means no more jumping off of Vermithor into the middle of a war.” I narrow my eyes at him as I accept another mouthful. 

“I was wondering when you would yell at me about that.” he says sheepishly. 

“I was so fucking scared. I thought my heart was going to stop. Never do that again.” I furrow my brows. “You did look incredibly fierce doing it though.” I whisper and his eyes snap to mine. 

“Fierce, hm?” he smiles down to me. 

“And fucking stupid.” I push him back as he chuckles. 

“Well let’s hope our child takes after you.” his smile is soft as he sits up. 

“Do you wish for a boy or a girl?” I hum as he starts to feed me cake. 

“I care not.” his smile widens. 

“I hope for a girl, so I think we’ll have a boy.” I chuckle accepting more of the sweet dessert. 

“Then we’ll have as many until we get a girl.” he discards the tray on the ground to bring his full attention to me. 

“We shall see what the Gods grant us.” I hum pulling him into a kiss. “Did you not bring any food for yourself?” I pull back looking to him. 

“I ate as your food was being prepared. I wanted to have a different kind of dessert.” his eyes darken and he crawls over me kissing me once more. 

My thighs spread as he settles between them. He licks and kisses down my neck before circling his tongue over my covered nipples. I whine as he scrapes his teeth around them before snaking his way lower. He places featherlight kisses down my slit as I sigh, bucking my hips to his face. 

His tongue juts out and offers small licks to my sensitive bud as I softly pant above him. His lips encase me while his tongue lashes against me quickly. My hand goes to his hair as I grind against his mouth and chase my pleasure. His other hand interlocks with my free hand as he continues with his tongue. 

“Ben, fuck,” I cry as I arch off the bed. 

He licks down my center and pushes his tongue into me as I gasp trying to catch my breath. He brings his other hand to circle along my bud as his tongue laps at my wetness. I explode across his face and he continues licking to clean me off. I sigh as my body melts into the bed as he comes to lay at my side. 

“What of you?” I say my eyes barely open as I go to reach for his length. 

“I’m okay, my love. Rest.” he grabs my hand and kisses my forehead as I curl into him allowing my mind to forget all of the bad today and only think of the good. 

We’ve taken Kings Landing. My mother sits the throne. My cheek is healed. I have a life growing inside me. I have a man who is absolutely devoted to me at my side awaiting the day we can marry and I can’t wait to marry him. I drift off contented listening to his heartbeat. 

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

masterlist 🔌 

Part 8

ik i said 3 more parts 2 parts ago which means only one more after this but that’s just not enough?? and now i want to write abt them being happy and married and with kids wtfff are ppl down for that or do i do a spin off series??? like lmk bc i want more than just an epilogue and a glimpse like no i want to see this man waiting on you hand and foot and being absolutely OBSESSED with you pregnant with his child 

taglist ✍️ 

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @anaviieiraaa @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @zanygot7straykidsbonk

if I missed anyone lmk!

[finalresidentevilfantasy]

Promise me Leon.

A/N: Hiiii, I'm back after a long break! Sorry this took so long, I was in a bit of a writing slump but hopefully we're over it and will be posting more content over time.

Warnings: talks of guns, blood, death, major character death, kinda fluffy but hella angsty. No happy endings here. No use of Y/N. Reader is female but no description of appearance is used.

W/C: 1.9K.

Pain, that was all she felt. Clutching at her side as she stumbled down the corridor Leon had carried Ashley down. She lifted her hand from her abdomen, it was covered in blood, all her own. Krauser had managed to throw a knife, the blade landing straight into her, slightly towards the left hand side of her body. Leon had managed to bandage it up pretty well afterwards.

"Shit!" Leon was by her side in seconds, Krauser laying in a pool of his own blood after Leon was finished with him. "You okay? Still with me?" His voice was full of concern as his eyes scanned every inch of her.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." She reassured with a small smile. Leon's eyes found hers and she found herself getting lost in them, as she always did when they were this close. The blue, it was gorgeous, calming. His stare lingered a little longer than usual before he shook his head slightly working on the task at hand.

"There, that should hold until we can get out of here." Leon said, look of triumph on his face. The knife had left a clean cut, an easy wound for Leon's first aid training, he'd managed to stop the bleeding, careful hands worked as he bandaged her up. She swore every time his hand brushed over the skin of her stomach her heart skipped a beat.

"Thank you Leon." She spoke softly, taking his hand in her own, a bold move on her part. "I appreciate it."

"No sweat." Leon brushed off nonchalantly, a smile gracing his lips, he didn't let go of her hand, enjoying the warm, soft feel against his fingertips.

Neither had acted upon it but they both knew that they harboured feelings for one another. The hours they spent together in training, Leon pushing her past her limits to get her anywhere near as good as he was. Taking the time to personally train his new partner, the time they spent together? Who wouldn't fall in love?

"I'm sorry." She suddenly sighed, she'd taken her eye off the ball and that was how she'd gotten stabbed, but Leon was in danger of course her attention was elsewhere. "I should've been paying more attention."

"Yeah, you should." His voice startled her, was she about to receive her first lecture from the man in front of her? But then he sighed "don't scare me like that again. I don't-" he hung his head as he cut himself off. Then, after a moment, his eyes snapped back to hers and they were filled with such a passion, a fire she hadn't seen before. "I don't think I'd survive losing you."

How she wished things could be different as she used the wall to steady herself. She'd stayed behind to distract Saddler, giving Leon and Ashley time to run, get a head start on removing the Plaga's. But she wasn't good enough, not fast enough, Saddler had reopened the wound Leon had closed. Her adrenaline giving her enough strength to knock him out but at a cost to herself.

She knew Leon would be furious with her. She'd dropped a statue between them, giving him no choice but to leave her behind, Ashley was the priority but she also had to make sure Leon made it out, the veins in his arms and face an indication that his time was running out. She was the only one of the three who'd managed to avoid infection but she had a feeling she'd be paying a different price for that.

She stumbled into Luis' lab just as Leon lost consciousness, Ashley breathing hard for a moment before she picked up Leon's pistol, pointing it in her direction. Ashley's eyes blew wide as she took in one of her rescuers state, dropping the gun. Her name leaving Ashley's lips as she continued to stumble forward, focus on Leon.

"Saddler?" Ashley asked and she shook her head in response to her question.

"Just knocked out, I think. I don't think I killed him." She stumbled again as she took a step. "Ashley, I need you to help me get him up." She spoke, it hurt to speak now, not only had Saddler reopened the wound but he'd made it bigger, the blood loss was fast now, a clear trail of blood following her everywhere.

Ashley was quick to help her, bearing some of her weight for her. "You need to sit." Ashley's voice was concerned and rushed.

"No, Ash." Her voice was confident, stern, despite her weakening condition. "Leon, we have to help him." She stumbled further, almost out of Ashley's grip as she made a bee line for her partner who was becoming more consumed by the veins, they were wasting time.

"But you need-" Ashley tried again and she spun to look at her.

"I'm not getting out of here. Come on, look at me, I'm dead weight, I'm a liability. But Leon, he's gonna be okay, he has to be okay, if this is the last thing I ever do, it has to be saving him Ashley." Her eyes were pleading with the president's daughter for help, her eyes lined with tears, Ashley's having already spilled over. "This is my last mission," a watery smile on her lips, "you gonna help me complete it?"

Ashley nodded reluctantly, both women moving to help the unconscious agent up. She groaned as she bore most of Leons weight, his head falling onto her shoulder, Ashley quick to help as they both manoeuvred him onto the chair. She almost screamed in pain, using the last of her strength as she placed him down, she fell onto one knee then, Ashley running to start the machine.

"God, I wish I'd have told you how much I love you." She whispered as she ran a hand through Leon's hair, he looked peaceful, even with the black veins consuming him. "You really are beautiful Leon." She smiled as she watched the black veins disappear, the machine having worked.

Ashley brought a chair for her to sit on as they waited patiently for Leon to wake up and at some point she lost her own consciousness.

*****

Her name. That was all she heard, she opened her eyes, her vision blurry but she could make out the beautiful blue staring into her own eyes. He was crying, she probably looked terrible. She was now laying in the same chair they'd put Leon into.

"Hey." Her voice was weak, how she'd managed to regain consciousness was beyond her. But she was thankful, perhaps she'd get to say goodbye.

"Don't talk." His voice was frantic, hands covering her wound as he placed as much pressure as he could, he was trying to stop the bleeding but they both knew, whatever he did, it wasn't going to be enough.

"Leon, it's no use." She smiled sadly at him and he let out a sob, head hitting her chest as he cried. She saw in her peripheral as Ashley turned away, wiping at her own tears. "Hey." She coaxed his face back up to look at her. He was so sad, she doesn't think she'd ever seen him display so much emotion all at once. He was a mess.

"It's okay." She said in reassurance, a peace was beginning to set over her, something about being in Leon's presence always put her at ease, she felt safe. "You need to go, Saddler's still out there, I'm sure of it, get Ashley out of here." She said as she reached to weakly card her fingers through Leon's hair, hand settling on his cheek.

"I'm not leaving you." Leon sobbed as he placed his own hand onto her cheek, wiping away her rapidly falling tears. "I promised I'd get you home." She knew it was pointless to argue, as much as she probably should, she selfishly wanted to keep him here until she passed.

"It's okay. It doesn't matter." She tried to reassure, her voice growing weaker as she felt her heart start to slow, longer blinks now, breathing was harder. "I wish I could've told you." She said, it was now or never, she had his attention, all of it. "I'm in love with you, I have been for a long time." Her name left his lips in a breath as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"You have no idea how in love with you I am." He spoke and her heart felt full, fuller than it ever had before at his confession, she could die happy now, he'd said it. "If I could trade places with you, I would, in a heartbeat. I'm so sorry I never told you." He was crying again now, almost hysterically.

"Leon, you have to promise me that you'll survive this, you have to carry on." She said, recalling his earlier words, she was losing herself now, everything was harder as her hand fell from his face, Leon quick to catch it in his own, bringing it to his lips as he kissed over her knuckles, she smiled. "Promise me Leon." She said as she took in his features for the last time.

"I promise I'll carry on." He smiled sadly down at her, eyes closing as a full peace washed completely over her.

"I love you, Leon." She whispered before she went still, everything having stopped.

"No, no, no, no." Leon muttered to himself as he began to shake her again, as if he could wake her. He couldn't and the rational part of his brain knew that but he wasn't ready to let go, not of her, he doesn't think he ever will be.

"It's not fair." He suddenly shouted and Ashley jumped as he kicked the nearest table over, scalpels and other operating equipment scattering across the floor. "Why her?" Leon asked no one. He was venting now, his emotions no where near in check, a stark contrast to the Leon Ashley had been used to. Ashley's eyes softened as she watched Leon fall to his knees and sob, she approached him, dropping to her own knees as she took the now fragile agent into her arms.

"I'm sorry Leon," was all she said as she held the broken man in her arms, she wished she could take his pain away but even Ashley, who'd only known the two for a day or so could see just how much they loved one another. A bond that wouldn't have easily been broken, partners who trusted one another with their lives.

Leon took a good few minutes to calm down, Ashley's shoulder now stained with his tears. He stood suddenly, Ashley following. He bent down to pick up his pistol, checking the magazine before he placed it back into its holster. Ashley watched silently as the agent took one final look at his partner, bending down to place a kiss on her forehead.

He breathed deeply, rolling his shoulders as he headed for the door. "Come on." His voice sounded darker, colder, not the playful, softer Leon Ashley had grown used to. Everything about him was colder, his demeanour, everything. "We need to find Saddler." Leon spoke again as he marched out of the lab. Ashley suspected that Saddler was going to suffer a fate worse than death by the time Leon was done with him. Ashley wasn't sure Leon would come out of this the same man he'd started out, the loss he'd suffered too great.

[countrymusiclover]

7 - Smells like Fire

Part 8

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Days later things had seemed to get better between Sansa and I but she didn't know the truth. I knew she had enough on her plate rather than deal with my current situation. Entering Tyrion’s chamber I shut the door behind me hearing it click and lock behind me. Looking around I found him and a swordsman named Bromm standing at his table near the window. 'Why don’t you just use that on them instead of fighting the lot on the battlefield?’

“Because I'm not certain it will work. And if it does we can only use it once to be a surprise attack.” Tyrion responded leaning his palms on the table.

I finally made my presence in the room known to the pair. “What’s the one time attack?”

“Vaella! Um, it's nothing you should worry about. You'll be in the crypts with Sansa.” Tyrion spun around trying to hide the map with his body.

“Tyrion, what is it?”

He avoided my question with a compliment. “Doesn't she look nice, Bronn. I think she does.”

“Tyrion!’

He watched my movements and held his arms out blocking me. I ran forward and he threw some punches at me holding me back for a second till I twisted his wrist and threw the lord down onto his back. “Vaella - agh!”

“Woah, I'd never think a princess would land you flat on your back.” Bronn mocked with a proud smirk.

Tyrion groaned, pushing his body up from the stone tile. “How did you manage that, princess?”

“Jaime briefly taught me defense in secret.”

Bronn's smirk grew bigger on his face. “I’m beginning to like this girl more than I like you.”

Pushing over my hair out of my face I huffed going to the map seeing a bright green jar beside it. Slowly picking up the jar in my hands concerned if it broke onto the floor. “You’re going to use Wildfire on them. That’s why you didn’t want me to see this.” Glancing over my shoulder I felt tears welling in my eyes thinking back on the many times I’d seen it used.

“I wasn’t sure how you would react if I told you what the battle strategy was. Your - your father was obsessed with it. I - I - I’m sorry for not telling you in the first place.” Tyrion nervously responded standing behind me next to Bronn.

Sitting the jar down on the table I eyed the map behind me recalling the section of tunnels I would use to sneak out for Jaime and I to spend time alone without my father or other guards realizing we had gone. “It’s okay, Tyrion. I shall wish you luck that your plan works. Wildfire is unpredictable, just like me.” Walking around him my dress swaying with my hips and I closed the door behind me.

“What do you think she meant by that?” Bronn asked, rather confused.

The youngest Lannister eyed the door where she had left, he hoped that one day he would get to know more of the Targaryen princess. “I don’t know but hopefully I can find out.”

Amber had fitted me into a black tunic shirt, red trousers and black riding boots figuring that a dress of any sort wouldn’t be suitable for sword training. Tying my hair up into a ponytail Jaime and I snuck our way through the secret tunnels. “So what does your lady in waiting think of you doing this?” Jaime asked, laying his sword on the ground and drawing out another blade for me from his belt.

“She thinks that I’ll beat you.” I teased with a smirk in his direction.

Jaime smirked a cocky look my way, handing me the handle blade. “Oh, she does. Well I’m sorry to disappoint her and say that a beginning like you can’t.”

Closing my fingers around the blade handle I sucked in a breath raising the sword beside my head before we started charging at the other beginning to fight one another. “Don’t be so cocky, Lannister.”

"Relax your dominant arm, Vae." Jaime instructs as I swing with my right arm out more even though I'm holding the sword in both hands. "If you use the same move all the time your opponent can learn which arm is the weakest."

Our swords smack against each other before gently shoves me backwards in the training yard that overlooks the water outside of the Red Keep. "Jaime?" I grunt, taking another swing at him.

He swung back circling me to make our sword press against one another for a moment. "Yes, my princess." He steps back a little sword still raised as I get back in a fighting stance.

I raise my sword trying to strike him but he lightly elbows me in my side to strike me from below. I switch my sword to my left hand for a moment to knock him away. "Your form is better than the last time."

He complimented my reply. "Thanks -uh!" I grunted out, pressing my sword against his. He pressed his sword against mine, never losing gaze with mine.

"Jaime, I-uh..." He started to loosen his hold on his sword when we pushed the other back but suddenly he knocked my sword from my left hand, knowing we both are dominant in our right hands. I dodge his next attack to reveal a dagger from inside my boot and block his sword coming down on me.

"Impressive, princess." He parts his lips when I push his sword down getting up from being on my knees.

"Thank you. But don’t call me that.” I aimed the dagger up, tapping the tip against his chin.

Jaime placed his sword into his holder, closing the distance between the two of us. “You know you love it.” He smirked, connecting our lips together. He was secretly right about, yet I wouldn’t ever tell him that was the case.

I had told Sansa that I wouldn’t be joining her and the other ladies in the bottom of the castle. I needed to see Tyrion’s plan go through otherwise the entire city would be taken down. Tugging a black cloak over my head I peaked my head around the corner seeing nobody was there. Running through the streets I climbed up one of the nearest ladders of a building top that allows me to see the ship ports.

Looking over the shortest column I saw hundreds or maybe thousands of ships coming towards the land. An arrow on fire flew over my head landing onto a ship that had Wildfire liquid pouring out of it and circling the ships so that when the arrow hit the water green flames grew so quickly there was no way of stopping it.

The familiar haunting fire spread before my eyes with multiple explosions shaking the ground that was near the area of water. I gasped feeling a tightness inside my chest seeing bright green before my eyes after all these years. “Burn them all - Burn them all!” Those three horrible words through my ears where I covered them, stumbling down the ladder and running wherever I could trying to escape the loud sound of men screaming and flames filling the sky above my head.

Cutting through the empty hallway I came out into another area filled with the king guards fighting Stannis’s where I had to duck underneath some of the attackers, rolling onto the ground. “Vaella! What are you doing out here?” Whipping my head around I saw Tyrion coming towards me in battle armor.

“I saw your attack.” My gaze shifted quickly seeing a Stannis soldier running straight up to us carrying a knife in his hand attempting to stab me until Tyrion stepped in the way getting cut across the face and collapsed to the dirt. “Tyrion!”

Dropping to my knees I touched his chest seeing fresh blood coming from the cut not sure what to do for him. “Get - out of - here.” He coughed before I felt someone grab my shoulder causing me to draw the blade I had hidden inside my boot. I stabbed the soldier in the chest that had cut him and drew the knife quickly frantically looking back at the lion on the ground carrying the blade in hand.

It took me an hour to get back to the castle and up to my chamber room. Slamming the chamber door behind me and pressing my body against it I sighed sliding down onto the floor trying to catch my breath until I heard footsteps come around the corner. “Clarisse, are you alright?”

“Sansa - what are you doing in here?” Lifting my head up from my knees I saw the young girl a few steps away from me.

She lowered her intertwined hands in front of her gown. “I was worried about you.”

“You don’t have to worry. I can handle myself, my lady.”

Sansa eyed something laying at my feet. “Where did you get a dagger from?” The dagger she was talking about was at my feet covered in blood from when I had stabbed one of Stannis’s men and fled back here. I hoped that Tyrion would be alright.

“It doesn’t matter. You should head back to your chambers. It is getting late-“ I scrambled to my feet to the chamber pot feeling instantly sick to my stomach. Leaning over it I emptied my stomach raising my head back up I collapsed down beside the pot.

Sansa poured me some water and handed it to me. “Here, drink. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“That’s not really what you wanted to ask me is it? Why don’t you just ask me what you really want to know.” I slowly downed the drink.

She parted her lips, muttering. “Who are you really? Because you know this place far better than a lady in waiting would who just came here, you snuck out tonight to watch the battle and you look like someone I read about in one of the old books.”

“Seems to me that you already have an answer so just say it.” I trailed off seeing she was a lot smarter than I had first given her credit for.

Sansa shook her head no in defiance. “I’m not sure I should.”

“Then I will.” Raising myself to my feet I curtsy to her in my handmaiden gown, my gaze holding intensely with hers. “Vaella, daughter of Aerys II and Rhaella Targaryen. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Seven hells.” Sansa for the first time in her life uttered a curse word from her mouth.

[oneatlatime]

Any predictions for season 3, or are you planning to dive straight in?

You're not the first person who's mentioned s3 predictions, so I'll give it a shot, but I'm really not sure if I have anything to use to make predictions. S2 ended in a very final, end of arc kind of way. Lots of things have been tied up. I don't even know where they're all flying off to. Back to the Southern Water Tribe, since the Earth Kingdom's a bit of a bust? The Fire Nation's out of the question, the Northern Water Tribe probably has mixed feelings about seeing them again, maybe the Eastern Air Temple? Although even that might not be safe, since Aang's travel plans to said temple to meet the Guru were known by various Earth Kingdom generals. And that stupid King.

I think the Fire Nation contingent are going back to the Fire Nation, and I am looking forward to a Zuko with eyes at least somewhat open interacting with FN citizens/nobles/military etc. who are still completely drinking the kool aid. I think it's going to suck for Zuko. Should make for good TV though. Lots of conversations where both people are saying entirely different things while thinking they're talking about the same thing.

I said it before, but I'm worried for Iroh. He's for sure arrested, but is he going to be executed? Obviously I don't want that, but unless Iroh still has enormous popular support, and the Firelord's grasp on power is incredibly shaky, I don't see how permanently eliminating a traitor (from a FN perspective) can be avoided. Then again. Kids' show.

As for the Gaang? In broad strokes, Aang still needs to learn firebending to fully Avatar himself, then he needs to defeat the Fire Lord (who is quite the homebody apparently - seriously, where is this guy?). So next season Aang will shake off his lightning hangover, find a firebending teacher, defeat the firelord. He'll probably have to commute to the Fire Nation to find the Fire Lord first. No idea what he'll do in between those things. Perhaps inadvisable shenanigans? That would be in character. His biggest story arc all series has been learning to accept his status as Avatar, but between his talks with the Guru and opening his last Chakra in the finale, I think he's done it. So all that's left is the main plot and goofiness.

Katara has the same problem she had going into S2 - she's mastered waterbending, so she needs a new conflict/arc. S2 answered this demand by... having her hang around? What did Katara do this season? Bend a bunch, set up camps, tear down camps, wreck Jet, support Aang, be nice to Toph that one time, yell at people. I hope she gets something meatier in S3. I still think she should meet some good FN citizens that challenge her morals.

Sokka was also kind of just there this season, although if I'm being mean I'll say that he was also kind of just there for S1 too, which is why it doesn't feel as odd as Katara's lack of purpose. I loved his stuff with Suki. Suki is officially the glow up of the season. I loved their interactions together, and I love the growth she poked him into doing. I'd like to see more of that. So less a prediction and more of a hope: S3 Sokka develops the ability to rely on/trust others (or maybe realises others can be relied upon/trusted is more accurate), hopefully with Suki somehow involved. And I loved his dad too. I want to see more of that guy, but since a cardinal rule of kids' stories is getting rid of the authority figures asap, it won't happen.

Toph. Honestly I'm stumped. She already broke the universe. Where can she go from there? Unless she's going to devolve into an antagonist, which I absolutely don't want, I don't see how she can top her S2 plot. And Aang's got earthbending down, so I guess she'll be like Katara was this season: tagging along. Not that I'm complaining; I love me some Toph in any form. We have seen that she wants to make peace with her parents, sort of, probably? Or at least give them another shot? But I kind of don't want her within 100 miles of her parents. So I don't know.

Appa & Momo will hopefully be tagalongs in S3 too. I learned my lesson this season about wanting the animals to have character arcs.

I guess the antagonist in S3 will be the Fire Lord, finally. Who else is left? Zhao tried, he died. Azula tried, she won. Unless S3 has an Azula rematch. But would she want that? She's already proven that she won. She can go home and enjoy the spoils of her victory (which may or may not include Zuko - I'm kind of unclear on exactly how much agency Zuko is going to have in the FN, especially since I'm not actually sure that he has permission to be there as a free man - didn't the arrest warrant Azula was executing in episode 1 list both Zuko and Iroh?)

There's nothing left for the Gaang in Ba Sing Se, so I doubt they'll go back there. Frankly it's the FN characters who have roots there. I wonder what will happen to Iroh's tea shop? I wonder if his investors will find out who he is? I wonder if money talks louder than national loyalty? (It's the Earth Kingdom - the answer is yes) Wouldn't it be funny if Iroh busted out of imprisonment and went right back to serving tea? And everyone sent to find him would be thinking "this is the famed tactician the Dragon of the West - he's probably travelling the FN plotting a coup as we speak. That devilish mind of his must have safe houses set up all over the nation." When actually he's right back where he got caught, doing exactly what he was doing when he got caught, to great and not-very-quiet acclaim?

I think S3 might have an overall darker tone too, within the bounds of a kids' show. I don't know what place Ba Sing Se occupied in the mind of the average person in the Avatar universe (although refugees seemed to revere it), but the city's fall to the FN represents a very big FN victory. The Gaang will probably be the most underdoglike in S3. S1 was mostly stalemate, then a big FN defeat. S2 was opened with the FN taking Omashu and closed with them taking Ba Sing Se. The FN have never been in a better position, and I bet the NWT is safe from further invasion only until the FN have built their fleet back up. So even the few free areas could have an expiry date on their freedom.

This is rapidly devolving into rambles, so I'll conclude by saying I have no clue what's going to happen next season, and that's exciting.

[randomfoggytiger]

"Sooner or Later a Man's Gotta Face His Demons"

(Fictober, Day 31)

An end to my first Fictober-- what a fun time it's been~.

*****

They were on a stakeout, an aspect of the in-betweens, of the wait-and-chase, hunt-and-catch, nine-to-five that came with the job. More mainstream work-- the everyday kind excluding conspiracies and monster men, generally-- that required hiding in plain sight. It was an opposite set of skills to their usual modus operandi, a good exercise to knock the rust from their joints and reacquaint themselves with procedure. Less satisfying, but no less rewarding. 

The idling car was wrapped in fog, the yellow glare of the headlights splicing through the breathy autumn air. Warmth languidly settled on its passengers, coating them in a bone-deep relaxation that was battled every hour or two by fiddling with the temperature. No place to go but here, no other person in the world except the one on either side of the seat. 

Scully half-expected her breath to mark the air when she broke the silence. “Mulder, how come we’ve never investigated a case on Samhain?” 

“What do you mean?” The unspoken commandment now broken, he greedily cracked open a sunflower seed. The sacred dark was next to be disturbed: the driver side door popped open unceremoniously-- the window still fixedly stuck-- and a shell was spit across the frosty road. Maybe, hopefully, it would snow soon.  

“Samhain? Gaelic pagan tradition? Predecessor to All Saints Day which precedes All Souls Day? Men and women and children parading in masks, going door to door to ward off demons? The door to the spirit realm being opened once a year? Any of this--” she paused, accepted the shelled compact of salt Mulder handed her, “--ringing a bell?” 

“You got any fairies you want to catch up with, Scully?”

“Samhain, Mulder.”

He shrugged. “We just… never got around to it.” 

“...'We’.” 

“There is a partnership here, Scully-- yin and yang, push and pull, give and take.”

She weighed his words, rolling the seed around in her palm. “So, we never investigated Samhain because I never brought it up.”

“And because you, the resident Irish Catholic,” Mulder reminded, pointing a finger in her direction, “never brought it up, I thought it was unimportant. Therefore, no Samhain.”

“I think you’re afraid.” Scully was surprised-- and pleased-- that she had so swiftly and so thoroughly appalled her partner.

“Afraid? We’ve already seen ghosts, Scully-- a few more spooks or spirits isn’t going to bother me. Besides, you seem to attract them in abundance, little Gaelic woman.” 

“And the ritualistic, celebratory bonfires have… no sway in your decision?”

The silence was back for a temporary pit stop, crackling with suppressed sheepishness and bubbling mirth as Mulder smirked, caught, and Scully grinned, amused. He reached forward to fiddle with the heater, and she sat back to avoid the expected colder blast of air. 

“Scully, did I ever tell you about the time we almost investigated a fire-breathing goblin in Minnesota?” 

“No kidding.” 

She shifted closer, letting her eyes drift to his recently razed hair. Remembered the patches over his surgical scars, remembered his determined eyes when he asked her to cut it shorter. Reclamation, they’d both thought; vanity they’d both bantered. Mulder the phoenix, brain on fire and rising from the ashes. Waited for him to dole out another of the hoarded secrets he’d been sharing since his recovery.  

“The locals called it 'the cinder leprechaun’ until an Irishman got into a public brawl over the finer points of Irish mythology. He was running for mayoral election; and you can guess how popular he was at the polls that year.”

“I see. And was he the first to witness this fire-breathing goblin?” 

“Almost; but not quite.” 

Mulder shifted closer as well, placing the sunflower bag in a coaster and scooping up his discarded coat from the back. Scully let him settle it around her, even let him tuck her in before nudging her partner back on track. 

“Mulder, who did see it first?”

“Two witnesses-- same time, different stories. Both sober or thereabouts.” 

She burrowed deeper into her new blanket. “Then what really happened?”

“Well, without being there to know for certain, I'd say it's the same as always, Scully.” Mulder left her in suspense-- not purposefully-- as he mulled over life, Samhain, and the pursuit of leprechauns. “The truth happened somewhere in-between.” 

Scully nodded, playfully tilting her head in his direction. "Where does my Samhain bonfire come into this, Mulder?"

As one unit they chuckled, grabbed another snack, and communed in the language of their own traditions.

Neither were disappointed.

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event

[tenebraevesper]

Up Ladybug, Entry 25: Queen Bee

''Well, there you go again telling me where I belong. You put me on the bench, don't think that I can play strong. So quick to condescend well, you think I'm empty, I'm not. You won't be so confident when I'm crushing you from the top.''

– Dumb Blonde by Avril Lavinge ft. Nicki Minaj

xXxXxXx

Bridgette stretched her arms, being in a great mood as she walked to her school. It was a chilly morning, but the fresh air was just what she needed to wake up properly. Tikki was inside her backpack, still asleep after last night's patrol. The patrol itself had been surprisingly quiet, with no Papillon or Phantom Thief Belladonna causing trouble. While Bridgette wasn't sure what excuse Belladonna had, she had figured that Papillon, or at least the Mime, wouldn't show himself after that fiasco with that charity event fire.

Hopefully we can avoid any kind of trouble in the near future, Bridgette thought as she stopped at a traffic light, not paying attention to the car next to her until the car door suddenly opened and, to her surprise and amazement, Félix got out of it. Bridgette could hear the driver yelling at Félix, but the teenager ignored it, approaching her instead.

''Good morning, Bridgette,'' Félix greeted her with a genuine smile on his lips.

''Good morning, Félix,'' Bridgette responded, still a bit stunned by Félix's sudden appearance. ''Uh, what are you doing here? I-I mean I'm sure you're also on your way to school, but why did you-?''

''I saw you walking past and I thought that we could walk together to school,'' Félix replied in a casual tone, not wanting to admit that he specifically asked Nathan to drive past Bridgette's house in hopes of finding her before school starts. Of course, his designed driver wasn't too happy about it, but Félix didn't care about how he's going to explain this to his uncle.

''R-Really?'' Despite them being officially friends and having started to hang out more and more, Bridgette had to admit that she was still a little surprised with how social Félix has become. At least he was clearly more relaxed in her presence and she was really happy about it. When Félix gave her a slight look of concern, Bridgette quickly added, ''I don't mind that. I'm just surprised that you decided to be so forward about hanging out with me. I thought that was my schtick.''

Félix cracked a rather playful smile. ''You'd be surprised just how persistent I can be when I put my mind into it.''

''So, does this mean that you'd also invite me to have lunch with you?'' Bridgette asked sneakily, her eye-lids lowered as she gave him a knowing smirk.

''Of course. After all, don't I owe you for the times you gave me lunch when I forgot to bring my wallet?'' Félix replied, his tone and expression matching Bridgette's. Despite what they just said, they knew perfectly well that they were just making up excuses for spending more time together and Félix had to admit, he was actually having a lot of fun with it. After realizing, and also kicking himself for not giving her a chance earlier, that Bridgette genuinely cared about him, he wanted to make up for his rudeness and be as transparent with her as possible. At the same time, he found himself enjoying her presence and wanted to interact with her more. Of course, he was also aware that Bridgette still had feelings for him and he knew that getting closer to her might send a wrong message, but he figured that they could have a conversation when the time comes. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the little moments.

''Hey, Bridgette!''

Félix tensed when he heard Claude calling out for Bridgette, the teenager turning around and greeting him. He understood that they were Bridgette's friends and that she'd want to spend time with them, but he had hoped that their time alone would last just a bit longer before classes started. I don't think I can even attribute this to my bad luck.

''I'm surprised to see you here, Agreste,'' Claude said.

''You're surprised to see me at school?'' Félix asked in a deadpan tone, his question causing Bridgette to giggle. Claude exhaled, placing his hands on his hips.

''You know well what I mean,'' he said. The two were silent, with Bridgette observing them as they glared at each other and realizing that this is going to be a long day.

''Hey, hey… How about we get to school? I don't want to be late,'' she said, interlocking arms with both and pulling them forwards.

''Okay, okay, you can go ahead and we'll catch up,'' Claude said, with Bridgette nodding, a bright smile on her expression, and running off when she spotted Sophie. Claude smiled as he observed Bridgette just being her happy and cheerful self, only for the smile to disappear as he felt something cold washing over him when the person next to him spoke.

''I'm not your enemy, Savard,'' Félix said in a matter-of-fact tone, walking away, only to stop when he felt a strange cold sensation washing over him.

''…'' He turned around, seeing Claude just glare at him. ''I don't care whether you are my enemy or not, I will treat you as I see fit.''

''Tch,'' Félix scoffed, only to smirk mischievously. ''You really act like you're Bridgette's older brother. Do you really have to be so protective of her?''

''With guys like you around, I need to do my best to make sure she won't get hurt,'' Claude replied in a cold and aloof tone, with Félix frowning.

''What do you mean 'guys like you'? What are you taking me for?'' he asked, feeling quite irked.

''You're not the social type and you were quite rude towards Bridgette before, but now you want to hang out with her. I think that's really suspicious,'' Claude responded, walking away. Félix fumed, but then quickly joined Claude, walking at the same pace as him.

''So, I'm not allowed to change my opinion in regards to someone?'' Félix said. While he actually wanted to ignore Claude's comments, this one really struck a nerve. He saw Claude frowning, taking this change of mood as a small victory. Two can play this game. However, a moment later, he regretted the whole conversation by simply blurting out very confidently, ''Don't tell me that you're jealous of me becoming close to Bridgette.''

Claude suddenly stopped walking, tilting his head as he gave Félix a questioning look, much to the latter's confusion. ''Agreste, are you planning on pursuing Bridgette romantically?''

''Eh…?'' Félix was shocked by the question, his jaw dropping while a voice in his head screamed at him, What have you done, Neko Boy?! Stop acting like you're Chat Noir, you're not even transformed, you idiot! Okay, okay, act cool! You can do this, just don't show how nervous you are! Félix coughed, clearing his throat while still feeling his anxiety skyrocketing. ''What are you talking about? We're just close friends, that's all.''

Going by Claude's expression, he clearly didn't believe Félix, and Félix knew that. ''If I find out that you've been stringing her along all this time…''

''Calm down, I'm not going to do anything like that,'' Félix responded in a cool and aloof tone, but was still feeling anxious. After all, Claude just confronted him with the real idea of him actually being romantically interested in Bridgette. Sure, he saw her as a close friend, but he wasn't completely sure whether he had any romantic feelings for her. He knew that Bridgette had feelings for him and he was certain that, if he asked her out on a date, she would agree gleefully to it. So, where was the obstacle? It is myself.

Félix just sighed, spotting Bridgette and her friends at the school entrance, but instead of joining them, he stood at the side, observing Bridgette as she happily chatted with Allegra, seemingly oblivious to the curious looks her friends gave to Félix, with Claude being the one outright glaring at him. However, Bridgette wasn't as oblivious as she appeared to be, being slightly worried by the tense silence between her friends and Félix, the latter then stepping up.

''Good morning, everyone,'' Félix greeted them politely, if a bit formally, getting murmurs of 'good morning' in response, with Claude, Sophie, Allegra and Allan casting a questioning look at Bridgette. Sure, Félix did interact with them several times, albeit usually while he was just passing by, and Bridgette even invited him to her home the day before, clearly having a good relationship with him, but none of them were really sure whether he was going to be a permanent member of their friend group. They knew by this point that he was a nice person, even if that niceness was hidden under a wall of ice, but he wasn't exactly the most social person to be around, so things were rather awkward between them.

''Hey, Fé, I'm looking forward to our lunch!'' Bridgette suddenly blurted out, breaking the tense silence and drawing her friends' attention. ''I hope you guys won't mind if me and Fé have some private time.''

''Fé?'' Allegra rose an eyebrow.

''I had told Bri that I'm fine with that nickname. However, only if she's the one who calls me that,'' Félix said, shooting a glare at Allegra. ''After all, everyone else prefers to call me Ice Prince. Am I correct in that regard, Baudelaire?''

''Uh, well…'' Allegra was a little embarrassed to be called out like that. In fact, everyone was shifting anxiously, since they had been using that nickname behind Félix's back since he had arrived here. ''I'm sorry…''

''You can use the Ice Prince if you want to. I don't care about it,'' Félix replied. ''You can also refer to me by my name or surname in a conversation, but I won't tolerate any stupid nicknames.''

''So, Ice Prince isn't a stupid nickname?'' Sophie asked, rising an eyebrow and smirking.

''It is a title,'' Félix responded in a resolute tone.

''How is that a title?'' Sophie gave him a confused look, but before the conversation could continue, they heard the bell ringing.

''I guess you'll have to continue your debate after class is over. Com'n!'' Allan said, with him and the rest of the group walking towards their classroom, while Bridgette and Félix were a bit behind them.

''Are you okay?'' Bridgette asked.

''I might not be popular among your friends, but I can handle myself,'' Félix responded, giving Bridgette a confident smile. In response, Bridgette grinned cheekily and gave him a thumbs up.

xXx

Amber smirked as she stalked the school hallways during break time, observing her fellow students. Interestingly, instead of wearing her usual dress, she was wearing a yellow and black stripped T-shirt, her usual black jacket and white pants. Underneath, however, was her superhero outfit and she tried to find a good moment to reveal herself as Queen Bee. Of course, for that, she needed to first find someone who was performing some kind of crime… which was actually more difficult than she thought. You'd expect that a school filled with a bunch of teenagers would at least have someone who is not following the rules, but to her surprise, she couldn't find anyone doing anything wrong.

Oh, com'n, someone has to have some kind of secret agenda on their mind!

She walked through the hallways, frowning as she gave the other students scrutinizing looks as she searched for the wrongdoers, two of them being Bridgette and Félix who were about to go to lunch together.

''Huh?'' Bridgette blinked in confusion as she spotted Amber hiding around the corner, startling the latter. Instead of a response, Amber just huffed and walked away, while Bridgette and Félix rose an eyebrow. ''Why do I have a bad feelling about this?''

''Let's see – Bourgeois is hiding and stalking other students instead of trying to put herself in the spotlight. She's also being silent about it instead of telling everyone how much better she is. Not to mention, she also looks like she's up to something,'' Félix said, having placed his hand on his chin as he mused, then glanced at Bridgette. ''I think your sixth sense in regards to this is valid.''

''Honestly, I'd love to go to lunch with you but… I just want to see what Amber is up to now,'' Bridgette said, her tone slightly apologetic. Félix shook his head.

''I'll admit, I'm also curious in regards to what Bourgeois is planning to do,'' he replied. Bridgette smirked, nodding.

''Let's go.''

While Bridgette and Félix went searching for her, Amber made her way to the locker room, still annoyed that she couldn't find any wrongdoers, only to spot some guy hitting a locker in frustration.

''Com'n, open up already!'' The guy slammed his palm against the locker, only for it not to budge. Amber's eyes widened in glee as she realized that she may have found a criminal.

He's trying to break into someone else's locker! Now it is my moment to shine!

She quickly ran out of the locker room and into the nearby girl's restroom, quickly taking off her T-shirt, jacket and pants and placing her clothes into her school bag and placed a yellow and black domino mask over her face to fit her hand-made black and yellow jumpsuit. She then returned to the locker room, striking a heroic pose as she approached the guy, who apparently gave up on opening the locker.

''Hold it right there, thief! What do you think you're doing?'' Amber exclaimed, glaring at the would-be culprit who got startled by her sudden appearance.

''Who are you and what's up with the costume? Are you from the theatre club?'' he asked.

''Ha, as if! I'm the new superhero of Paris, Queen Bee!'' Queen Bee responded, striking a few dramatic poses before pointing at the student. ''I have caught you completely red-handed!''

''Red-handed- What are you talking about?'' the guy asked, completely confused. Queen Bee stepped forward, pointing her finger at him.

''You've been trying to break into another student's locker to steal their stuff, but I'll be the one to apprehend you!'' she said in an accusatory tone. The student just gave her an annoyed look.

''I don't know what you're talk about. That's my locker,'' he replied.

''Then why are you trying to break into it if it is your locker? Unless, you don't know the combination because it isn't!'' Queen Bee responded, grinning. The student rolled his eyes.

''Look, these lockers are older than dinosaurs and will get stuck,'' he said, shaking his head as he was about to walk away. ''I'm getting the janitor to sort this out.''

''Oh, no you won't until you admit that you were trying to break into the locker!'' Queen Bee stepped in front of him.

''Leave me alone, weirdo!'' the student yelled at her, neither him nor Queen Bee noticing that Bridgette and Félix were hiding at the entrance to the locker room, not looking impressed by what Amber was up to as Queen Bee.

''It looks like your gut feeling was correct,'' Félix said, with Bridgette smiling.

''I had been dealing with Amber for a while. I know that when she gets up to something, she will cause trouble for everyone else,'' she replied.

''So, what's your plan?'' Félix asked curiously.

''Let's get her before she angers the wrong person and question her about what is going on,'' Bridgette said. Félix nodded, with both of them getting out of their hiding spot, interlocking arms with a startled Queen Bee and dragging her into another corner of the locker room, while the other student just shook his head in disbelief and walked away.

''Ugh, let me go! Don't you know who I am?'' Queen Bee glared at Bridgette and Félix as they cornered her. Bridgette sighed in exasperation.

''Amber, what are you doing and what is up with that costume?'' she asked.

''First of all, I'm not Amber, I'm Queen Bee! I have no idea who this Amber person is, but I assume that she is great!'' Queen Bee said proudly, only to realize that Bridgette and Félix weren't buying any of it. ''In any case, I will be the one joining the ranks of superheroes as Ladybug and Chat Noir's new ally.''

''What?'' Bridgette and Félix blurted out simultaneously, both stunned by Queen Bee's declaration. Queen Bee just rolled her eyes as she realized she wouldn't be getting any recognition from these two. She then sighed.

''Listen up, I really admire both Ladybug and Chat Noir and I'm sure that they would appreciate more help on their fights against weirdos in costumes. I don't need your criticism regarding that,'' Queen Bee told the two.

''Bourgeois, do you even have any superpowers to help you fight effectively against those super villains?'' Félix asked, with Queen Bee freezing on the spot, feeling anxious. ''I thought so.''

''Amber, I understand that you want to be like your favorite heroes, but think about it for a moment. As Félix said, you don't have any superpowers, meaning you'll put yourself in danger for no reason and be a liability to Ladybug and Chat Noir,'' Bridgette said. Queen Bee fumed.

''Ha, what do you know?! It's not like you two are Ladybug and Chat Noir!'' she ranted, not noticing that Bridgette and Félix tensed for a moment. ''I'm sure they'll accept me the way I am, no matter if I have any superpowers. I am Queen Bee and I'll be the best superhero ever!''

With that said, she stomped out of the locker room, with Bridgette and Félix feeling second-hand embarrassment from this interaction, with Félix quipping, ''She's delusional.''

''She'll put herself unnecessarily in danger,'' Bridgette added. ''We know what kind of villains Ladybug and Chat Noir are dealing with and the Mime basically blew up a building a couple of nights ago. She'll be brought back in a body bag if she tries to do actual superhero stuff.''

''While true, it's not like we can change her mind. She is convinced that she's a superhero now,'' Félix pointed out. Bridgette fell silent, musing.

''Yeah, you're right. If only Ladybug and/or Chat Noir were here, I'm sure they would convince her to drop the hero act and maybe knock some sense into her. I doubt that either of the would want a civilian to fight super villains,'' Bridgette said, a plan already forming in her head.

''That makes sense, since she admires those two so much. If either of us spots any of them, we'll let them know,'' Félix said in agreement, a plan already forming in his head.

Both actually thought of transforming and confronting Amber/Queen Bee about her ideas and convince her to stop putting herself into danger before anything serious happens. They didn't want her to become Papillon's target, especially since they believed that he was capable of much worse things and the last thing they needed was blood on their hands. However, they realized that there was one issue with this.

''Uh… about lunch…'' Bridgette started slowly, with Félix realizing that he actually forgot that they had plans to spend time together. However, with the current situation, he felt that it would be smarter to deal with Amber/Queen Bee first.

''Right, lunch…'' Félix trailed off, with both of them being silent for a moment, feeling rather awkward. Bridgette scratched her cheek, laughing nervously.

''I-I just remembered that there was something I still needed to do…'' she started, with Félix raising an eyebrow, not really sure how what to make of it, but then he realized that this was the perfect opportunity to complete his plan.

''Now that you mention it, I forgot that I also have something to do, so maybe we can postpone it, if that's okay with you?'' Félix asked. Bridgette nodded, hardly believing that she managed to get away with her awful excuse as she wanted to deal with Amber as soon as possible.

''I have no problem with that,'' Bridgette replied, running off. ''See you later!''

Félix watched her leave, then sighed, with Plagg popping his head out, seemingly knowing what was going through Félix's head. ''This was easy. Too easy, if you ask me.''

''Whether Bridgette really has something to do or she has a way to contact Ladybug, I don't think it matters now. I need to make sure that Bourgeois doesn't kill herself by confronting the wrong person,'' Félix replied.

''I didn't expect that you'd care that much about Amber,'' Plagg said, giving him an intrigued look.

''I don't, but her antics won't help us in our fight against Papillon. I'm nipping this in the bud,'' Félix told him, rushing off to find a secluded spot to transform.

xXx

''Okay, I think we're safe here,'' Bridgette said, having managed to climb onto the flat rooftop of the school building through a window and crouching down without being seen. Clearly, she couldn't transform in the girl's restroom as someone would obviously notice her or the school cameras would take footage of her going inside as Bridgette and coming out as Ladybug. However, she had learned from other students that some would take advantage of the flat rooftop to sneak from one classroom to another without being detected. Tikki flew out of her backpack, giving her a look of concern.

''Are you sure that Félix didn't suspect anything? He accepted your excuse a bit too readily,'' she said.

''I know, but I have other things on mind. If he brings it up, I'll come up with some explanation, but for now, I need to deal with Amber before she gets herself into danger. It is one thing for her to play superhero at school, but imagine if she tried this stunt while dealing with an actual criminal. I may not like Amber and she always bullied me, but I'm not going to let her hurt herself. Tikki, transform me!''

There was a flash of red, with Ladybug getting up and, after making sure that her backpack was securely tucked into the corner of the school rooftop, quickly made her way to the school yard where she spotted Queen Bee grilling another student over stolen lunch or something like that. Ladybug groaned in exasperation, only to be alerted by Chat Noir who appeared right next to her.

''Hey, Bug, what are you doing here?'' he asked, giving her a curious look.

''Let's just say that I caught wind of Amber Bourgeois causing trouble. What about you?'' Ladybug asked, with Chat Noir giving her a nervous look.

''Ehh, same?'' he said, shrugging and trying to act nonchalant. Both stared at each other for a moment, as if expecting for this conversation to continue, but decided against it and focused back on Queen Bee.

''Dude, could you just leave us alone?'' the student she was harassing said.

''Not until I get some evidence that you were up to- agh!'' Before Queen Bee could finish her sentence, a yo-yo wrapped around her body and she was whisked away. She screamed as she flew through the air, only to be caught in someone's arms, who leapt from building to building, her eyes closed as she struggled. ''H-Hey, what's the big idea?! Let me go! Do you know who I am?! I will sue you for kidnapping me!''

''Amber, we have to talk.''

Queen Bee suddenly opened her eyes, staring in shock at Ladybug, who was carrying her bridal-style, and Chat Noir, who was standing next to them, his arms folded across his chest. They were standing on a building further away from their school, where they had more privacy. Both superheroes were startled when Queen Bee suddenly let out a high-pitched cry, her eyes turning into stars.

''Ladybug! I'm so happy to see you!'' she said gleefully, leaping out of Ladybug's arms on to grab her hands and hold them. ''I was hoping for you to show up so I could talk to you about being a superhero! Look, I even got the costume and weapon!'' Queen Bee showed off her trompo joyfully and completely oblivious to the looks of disapproval Ladybug and Chat Noir were giving her. ''You won't mind if a duo becomes a trio, right?''

''Amber, listen…'' Ladybug started but got interrupted by Queen Bee, who placed her palm in front of Ladybug's face to stop her.

''My superhero name is Queen Bee and I'd rather that you call me that from now on since we superheros need to keep our identities a secret, right?'' Queen Bee said, smiling. ''Now, what's the issue? Is there any super villain running around and causing chaos? Is that why you brought me here?''

''No, we brought you here for a different reason.'' Ladybug shook her head, her eyes narrowing. ''Amber, whatever you're doing as Queen Bee, you need to stop with it. You're putting yourself and others in danger.''

''Wh-What?!'' Queen Bee was shocked to hear that from a person she genuinely admired. ''B-But…''

''You don't have any special powers and you're just a civilian in a costume who is drawing too much attention to herself. You had already been targeted by the Mime once because you're the mayor's daughter. Don't you think that he might do the same again?'' Chat Noir added.

''Maybe, but you're here and you can defeat him again!'' Queen Bee protested.

''Yeah, we can, but that doesn't mean that we're available 24/7. We have our own lives to lead and we don't want the spotlight on us. We have chosen to fight people like the Mime and Monsieur Pigeon with the powers we have because we want to do what is right,'' Ladybug said, not noticing Chat Noir wincing at the 'we have chosen to fight' bit. He didn't choose anything.

''Right. Have you seen either of us just strolling around in broad daylight and accusing innocent people of comitting crime?'' Chat Noir asked, sounding slightly bitter. Queen Bee's cheeks flushed red in embarrassment and it dawned her that her plan wasn't exactly the best or the smartest.

''I-I was just trying my hardest to p-prove myself as a superhero,'' she pleaded, utterly mortified by the look of disappointment Ladybug and Chat Noir were giving her. ''I-I hoped that you'd notice me…''

''I did notice you, and I'm not happy. If you thought that being a hero is about glitz and glamour, then I have to disappoint-''

''I don't care about that!'' Queen Bee suddenly screamed at Ladybug, startling both her and Chat Noir. ''I-I just thought-'' She shook her head, feeling chills flowing down her spine as she recalled all the times her own mother called her unremarkable and unexceptional, not caring about how Amber felt being treated like trash by the person who was supposed to love and care about her unconditionally. Tears started forming in the corners of her eyes as she took her domino mask off. ''I-I don't want to talk to you anymore- I hate you! You're the worst! You- You're ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!''

Ladybug and Chat Noir had to admit that, while neither of them was personally fond off Amber, they still felt pity for her. It was obvious that she had some deep issues and insecurities, but neither of them could really help her unless she was willing to open up about them.

''I want to get off this building. Right now!'' Amber growled, tears still streaming down her face as she turned to Chat Noir. Her vision of Ladybug was already shattered and the pedestal she put her favorite superhero was completely broken. She was done with her.

Chat Noir glanced at Ladybug, who nodded in silence, then picked Amber up and carried her towards the school, leaving her at the back entrance before rejoining Ladybug at the school rooftop. Ladybug sighed as he sat down next to her, looking somber.

''Are you okay?'' Chat Noir asked, with Ladybug just lowering her gaze. ''You know that we did the right thing.''

''Yeah, I do. It's just… I feel mentally exhausted after having to deal with Amber,'' Ladybug replied. ''I don't think she's just angry that she couldn't be a superhero. I'm sure she had another motive there.''

''Maybe she's looking for some kind of approval,'' Chat Noir suggested, with Ladybug giving her a curious look. ''She certainly sounded as if she wasn't getting the attention she wanted.''

''Yeah…'' Ladybug trailed off. She really had mixed feelings in regards to Amber, remembering all the times she had been bullied, with Amber either stealing her stuff or destroying her sketchbooks or calling her names, but lately? She sort of… let go off that. Perhaps it was that she was too busy balancing her life as Ladybug and Bridgette, dealing with her feelings for Félix and having to fight Papillon's henchmen, to even notice whether Amber was bullying her or not. Hell, when was the last time she did anything? Oh, sure, Amber stole her sketchbook and dumped it into a trash can, but beside that, what else did happen? She honestly couldn't remember.

''In the end, I don't think it really matters,'' Chat Noir suddenly said, drawing Ladybug's attention. ''We needed to have this talk with her for her own sake. We don't know what is going on in her civilian life, but we can make sure that nothing happens to her while we're superheroes.''

''You're right,'' Ladybug responded, only for her and Chat Noir to hear the school bell ring for the afternoon classes. Both looked suddenly nervous, exchanging glances with each other.

''Eh, I-I should…''

''Go? Y-Yeah, me too… Uh, see you-''

''At patrol? Yes!''

Ladybug and Chat Noir quickly rushed away to de-transform, their lunch plans with Félix and Bridgette falling through respectively. They really had no luck today.

xXx

Amber puffed up her cheeks, opting to just walk around aimlessly through Paris, still dressed in her Queen Bee costume under her regular outfit. She payed absolutely no attention at school and was just waiting for the classes to end, opting to just roam through the city instead of going straight home. She was completely dispirited, if not even depressed and felt like she couldn't do anything. The person she admired the most had just rejected her and she had no clue how to move on from this. She couldn't understand why Ladybug had to shatter her dreams so cruelly, but at the same time, she was well aware that she had no powers that could help her fight any villains. Unfortunately for her, Ladybug and Chat Noir were correct, but she refused to acknowledge that. She wanted to be a superhero, just like they were, and she wanted their recognition, that she was capable of more than any of them would assume. However, it was obvious that none of her desires would be fulfilled.

I should've known… I cannot expect anything…

Amber suddenly heard a crash from further down the street, being startled at first, but then ran towards it. To her surprise, she spotted the Mime robbing a closed jewelry store. She hid behind a car, feeling her heart beating rapidly as she realized just how real this situation was.

I managed to find a super villain! And it's that Mime guy! Uhhh, what do I do?! Amber felt herself panicking, only to slap herself lightly with both hands on the cheeks to focus more properly. Ladybug and Chat Noir usually patrol through Paris, right? If I keep stalling him, they will eventually come across us and kick this guy's ass. She fist-pumped, now determined to follow through with her plan. Right, you can do this! You are Queen Bee! You can also be a hero if you put your mind into it!

Quickly taking off her regular outfit and putting her domino mask on, Queen Bee climbed up on the car she was hiding behind and struck a heroic pose.

''Hey, you! Stop!'' The Mime looked up, rising an eyebrow at the teenager in a yellow and black jumpsuit and domino mask standing on top of a car that was parked on the street. ''I, Queen Bee, order you to stop with your criminal activity and surrender!''

The Mime just smirked as he looked at her, dropping the bag he was holding and curling his fingers around an invisible handle. Queen Bee gulped when she realized that the handle belonged to an invisible hammer, with the Mime suddenly running towards her. She managed to jump off the car and land safely on the ground, but to her shock, the Mime left quite a deep dent in the car roof. She realized that, had he hit her, her skull would've been nothing but flesh, blood and broken bones.

The Mime turned around towards her and kept swinging the huge hammer, leaving cracks in the walls of the street and Queen Bee quickly dodged them, using her gymnastics skills. However, she knew that she was in trouble, as she had no way to fight back. Even without his superpowers, the Mime was still an adult man, much bigger and heavier than her. The only thing she could do was to pray that someone would notice them and call the authorities, or even better, Ladybug and Chat Noir.

But, I told her that I hated her. Would she even want to save me?

Queen Bee froze as that thought crossed her mind, giving the Mime and opportunity to swing once again at her, leaving her unable to dodge the attack. However, before the hammer fell, a yo-yo wrapped around his arm, pulling him back. The Mime turned around, only to get punched square in the face by Chat Noir, knocking him down.

''Ladybug! Chat Noir!'' Queen Bee never felt so grateful to see these two. Despite all the mean stuff she had told them, they still would appear to help her and she felt safe around them. Ladybug leapt down, grabbing her hand and dragging her around a corner.

''What are you doing here? It's dangerous!'' Ladybug scolded her, with Queen Bee feeling a sting in her chest.

''I just happened to ran across that Mime guy! I didn't do it on purpose!'' Queen Bee snapped back, with Ladybug sighing in response.

''Okay, just stay here and stay safe. I don't want the Mime to hurt you,'' Ladybug told her.

Queen Bee noded, with Ladybug then rejoining Chat Noir in the battle against the Mime. She then kept observing the two as they fought the Mime, with Chat Noir using Black Hole to trap him, only for the Mime to mime a rocket launcher and fire it point-blank at the black cat superhero. Ladybug used her yo-yo to wrap it around the invisible rocket launcher, forcing Mime to fire it somewhere else, only for him to direct it towards her. Chat Noir managed to rush towards Ladybug in time, using his Black Hole to shield her from the explosion, but it was a little too late and both were knocked back, hitting the building behind them.

Queen Bee gasped as the Mime made his way over to them, forming what appeared to be a gun in his hands and pointing it straight towards Ladybug. Fortunately, she was still awake, but struggling to get up and the fact that an invisible gun was being held in front of her face didn't help. Queen Bee's expression changed from shock to a determined look, as she knew that she was the only one who could do something.

''Hey!'' Grabbing the trompo that was on a string around her waist, Queen Bee spun it, throwing it straight at Mime and nailed him right in the head. This was enough of a distraction for Ladybug to kick the gun out of Mime's hands and transform her yo-yo into a staff to hit him directly in the gut. Chat Noir also managed to get up, firing a point-blank Black Storm at the Mime, who was knocked back, hitting a car.

''Thanks Queen Bee!'' Ladybug said, briefly turning to her before she and Chat Noir faced the Mime. Queen Bee swelled with pride, observing the two as they landed hit after hit on the super villain, only for the Mime to realize that this was a losing fight and quickly left after throwing a smoke bomb at them. Once the smoke settled, he was nowhere to be found.

''Not again…'' Ladybug muttered. ''I thought we had him this time.''

''Better luck next time, I guess,'' Chat Noir responded, shrugging. Both then turned around towards Queen Bee, who felt a little awkward as they stared at each other in silence.

''Amber…''

''I'm sorry for getting myself into danger,'' Queen Bee apologized sincerely, much to Ladybug's surprise. She honestly never heard Amber talk to her like this, being so vulnerable instead of condescending. ''You were right, I'm not cut for this superhero thing. I don't have any powers or abilities to protect myself and I would've died if it weren't for you two.''

''Why do you want so desperately to be a superhero?'' Ladybug asked. Queen Bee was silent, filddling with her trompo she had picked up nervously, before giving Ladybug a serious look.

''Can I trust you two with something very personal?'' she asked, with Ladybug giving her a curious look.

''Sure you can. I promise you I won't tell anyone,'' Ladybug said in an assuring tone, then glanced at Chat Noir.

''I don't really see any reason to share any personal secrets with anyone,'' he replied. Queen Bee took a deep breath.

''I… I wanted to be a superhero to feel special, because everyone else tell me that I'm not,'' she admitted. Ladybug and Chat Noir exchanged glances of surprise, not expecting the conversation to steer in this way.

''Who is telling you that?'' Ladybug asked.

''Mainly, my own mother!'' Queen Bee responded, before going into a rant as she walked up-down in front of the two, throwing her hands up animatedly. ''I tried everything to please her and make her proud of me, but he's always telling me how unexceptional I am! Can you believe that? Me, unexceptional? She is so condescending! It's ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!'' Queen Bee didn't notice the side-glances Ladybug and Chat Noir exchanged as she continued, ''That's why I went to you two, because I had been hoping that, if anyone is going to give me the recognition I deserve, it'll be you two… especially you Ladybug.''

''I understand now that you've been craving for some kind of recognition, but I don't think that throwing yourself into danger is the answer,'' Ladybug said. Queen Bee lowered her gaze, feeling guilty.

''Yeah, you're right,'' she said.

''What about your classmates? From what we've heard, they don't like you particularly,'' Chat Noir said, his arms folded across his chest, his tail flicking as he gave Queen Bee a knowing look.

''Well, they just don't get it how amazing I am!'' Queen Bee responded in a haughty tone.

''Or they know that you're just a bully and don't want do have anything to do with you,'' Ladybug said, with Queen Bee, despite trying to keep her calm, looking quite mortified that her favorite superhero was calling her a bully. Chat Noir gave Ladybug a curious look, wondering if she was talking from experience, but he didn't follow up on it.

''Uh, well, I… Well, they deserved it, especially Cheng,'' Queen Bee replied spitefully. ''The other day she bragged about how her mother is such a great parent because she was going to visit her and spend time with her. It's not fair!''

Chat Noir frowned, glaring daggers at Queen Bee for daring to insult Bridgette like this, but to his surprise, Ladybug smirked knowingly, ''Was she rubbing it in your face? Does she even know what your family situation is?''

''N-No…'' Queen Bee admitted, feeling a wave of embarrassment, amazed that Ladybug was reading her like an open book. To her surprise, Ladybug placed a hand on her shoulder, with Queen Bee giving her a nervous look.

''Okay, I'd like to give you some important advice, as one superhero to another,'' Ladybug started, winking at Queen Bee, who was actually ecstatic that Ladybug addressed her as a fellow superhero. ''Instead of seeking other people's approval of whether you're exceptional or not, you should ask yourself if you see yourself like that. Because you actually did show quite some courage tonight by hitting the Mime with that spinning top and you also saved my life in the process.''

''It is a trompo and I did practice for days with it, so I have learned how to use it as a weapon,'' Queen Bee said proudly, noting Ladybug's questioning look. She lowered her gaze, fiddling with the trompo. ''I suppose I have a lot to think about. However, I think that Queen Bee should retire.''

''Maybe she doesn't have to,'' Ladybug said, much to Queen Bee and Chat Noir's surprise. ''Look, you aren't going to fight any super villains, but you could still act as our support system.''

''Are you sure about that, Bug?'' Chat Noir asked in a skeptical tone.

''Yeah, I have to agree with Cat Boy here, because I'm not sure how to do that,'' Queen Bee said in a deadpan tone. Ladybug stuck her tongue out playfully, winking at them.

''Well, the public seems to be split on whether we're the good guys or the bad guys, and having someone who would be able to influence the public opinion so we could do our job without any interference would be nice,'' she said, shrugging with her arms up. ''Neither I nor Chat Noir are that fond of cameras, but someone who'd love the attention would certainly thrive in the spotlight.''

''Ladybug, I don't think-'' Chat Noir started, only to get interrupted by Queen Bee.

''I like the way you're thinking,'' she said, grinning, only to fist-pump. ''As a matter of fact, I already have an idea what I could do to help you.''

''What is it?'' Ladybug asked.

''Don't worry, I'm sure you'll see it once I'm done with it,'' Queen Bee told her confidently, snapping her fingers.

xXx

''Welcome to the Queen Bee's Hive! Hosted by yours truly, Amber Bourgeois! In this blog, you will learn about Paris' treasured superheroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir, and how they're doing their best to defend the city from super villains!''

''Honestly, I didn't expect that this would be Amber's idea of support,'' Bridgette told Tikki as they watched Amber's livestream on her new blog in Bridgette's room. The livestream itself was filmed by Amber on the roof of the hotel she lived at. ''But, I guess this might give her the recognition she desperately seeks. I just hope she won't get a swollen head.''

''Do you really think it's a good idea for Amber to host a blog about you and Chat Noir? What if she reveals any important secrets about you two?'' Tikki asked. The two went silent for a moment when Amber started reading some of the questions sent by the chat box.

'''Do you know Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities?' What? Of course not! The heroes' identities are a secret for a reason. Has none of you read any comic books about superheroes? How else would they lead a normal life if everyone knows who they are?'' Amber responded, scoffing. ''Tch, what kind of stupid question is that?''

''Yeah, I think we can trust her,'' Bridgette said, smiling, with Tikki giggling as they continued to watch the livestream.

xXx

''…will talk about how amazing Ladybug is!... and Chat Noir as well.''

''…I feel as if she has just tacked me on,'' Félix grumbled as he watched the livestream on his computer in his bedroom.

''Face it Neko Boy, she did tack you on. Amber favours Ladybug over you,'' Plagg replied, taking a bite off his cheese.

''You really are merciless,'' Félix said, cracking a smile and turning back to the screen, only for Plagg to fly up to him.

''So, when are you going to ask Ladybug about somehow learning what Amber was up to? Don't you think that this must mean that you're both going to the same school? Maybe even the same class?'' he asked.

''I'm not going to ask these kinds of questions,'' Félix replied in a cold tone. Plagg gave him a look of surprise, his eyes narrowing.

''What do you mean? Haven't you tried to figure out who is Ladybug in order to get her to free you from your curse?'' he asked. ''What has changed?''

''Nothing has changed,'' Félix grumbled, leaning his head against his hand, his eyes closed. Plagg tilted his head, a little confused and suspicious. Félix sighed, glancing at the cat kwami. ''I do have a plan, but I need think through this.''

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[snormynight]

@sitruksista put out a call a minute back for an izzy pneumonia fic and seeing as I have field experience in the subject, I gave it a shot🫡 It’s ~2k of a Modern AU where they live together, featuring TLC given by Stede and brat roommate Ed. Not snez.

Nowadays if Izzy wants a moment alone with Ed, he has to basically be dying. At least it sure felt like he was.

He went to sleep the night before in the study with a chill and a headache that bloomed into a persistent pounding in his head and full body wracks. He can barely lift his head this morning; he feels like he’s drowning. He hears Stede leave early, so he’s successfully avoided him, but he knows he will eventually run into Ed.

When Ed confronts him, he’s already prepped with what he will say.

“Fuck you i’m not going to the fucking doctor. This’ll blow over in a few days.”

Ed pretty much expects this. He and Stede had been up for a while hearing him hack up his lungs. He slides up to him, bringing his hand up to feel Izzy’s face. The skin there is tacky and hot, and he drags his hand down the side. Izzy dares to pull away but Ed steers his chin right back to face him. He has to suppress a sudden onslaught of coughs, his body convulsing with the effort.

“Look I don't like them either,” Ed says, leaning back to try and protect himself. “Doctors are dicks. Huge ones sometimes. But they're gonna make you better. I'm basically useless; Stede’ll have my head if he comes home to find I did nothing for you.”

Izzy’s lips tug down in a nauseous frown. “How kind of you, Edward, really. My heart is fucking melting.” He tries to lay his hands over his chest in mock affection, but the force of it sends a barrel of coughs out of him. He sits up to lean forward and is a little hurt to not find Ed's presence at his back. He’s already up, getting ready for work.

He's more hurt though at the prospect of Ed getting help for him only because he didn't want to upset Stede. It feels like lately it’s been all about him. Ed will barely lift a finger to make him smile.

“My shift starts soon,” Ed says, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Call me if you need anything. Stede will be home in a few hours. I'll have him bring you some soup.”

When Ed leaves, the room feels darker than before. Izzy just sits there for a moment, noting just how sore his throat feels and his chest aches. He pulls out his laptop, hoping to squeeze a few hours of work in, and to hopefully get Ed off of his mind. But every time his fingers slow so he can hack out a few germs, his thoughts just go back to him. It's his personal jail cell until he decides to break the chain and cut himself off. It's the evening when he shuts his laptop down, and he can no longer deny the warmth that he seeks. Izzy pushes himself up into a standing position and stumbles towards the stairs, noting how his leg has locked up now from non use. The skin is sore there like it gets and he knows it’ll bother him all night if he doesn’t get it sorted out right now. He reaches for the railing, gives a big grunt and hauls himself up the first step.

Izzy has made it to the top, gasping for breath when the front door lock clicks. He freezes, leg and lungs on fire when the door opens and Stede steps into the foyer.

“Izzy? Where are you off to?”

Izzy grips the railing, biting back a cough. “What's it to you, Bonnet?” His witty retort costs him a breath and he chokes on the air, hacking profusely. These ones are a little juicier and he fumbles in his pocket for a tissue to spit into. Stede comes bounding up the stairs, and there it is, the pressure on his back that he was looking for earlier.

“Whew, Ed mentioned you were pretty bad off. I couldn't possibly imagine this.” Izzy straightens up, a wavery breath ghosting around his raw throat. He feels lightheaded, and he has to sniffle back some of the phlegm.

“I'm fine.”

Stede gives him a sideways look. “You most certainly are not. I'm calling the doctor first thing in the morning. Maybe we can get you a walk-in. Ed’ll take you.”

Izzy pulls away in indignation. “Ed wouldn't take me ballroom dancing if you asked him to.”

He wants to curl up in his room and rot, but after the feat that was the stairs, he settles for the couch. He brings his knees up to his chest, desperately trying to warm up his core while he shivers violently. Like an ever present rash, Stede appears at his side once more.

“What makes you say that?”

Izzy heaves a bitter sigh, his breath crackling on its way out.

“You're such great pals now, huh? You…you talk and make jokes and you just-you just play games all day don't you?”

Stede just looks kind of confused. “Well yeah I suppose, but I thought that's what all of us were doing. It's in the roommate agreement.”

Izzy turns his head, his face growing hot for reasons other than fever. “Shut up, we're not out here owing each other life debts. You’re petty little contacts.” He gives a few close mouthed coughs. “And even if we were I’m not going to the fucking doctor, not with that twat, and not with you.”

Stede shakes off Izzy’s normal, if not elevated by fever spite. He places a hand on his too warm shoulder. Izzy doesn’t pull away.

“He won’t mind me anymore. Not with you around.”

Stede frowns, feeling a little guilty. “Izzy I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. Truly I am. I love what we’ve got going on here. I really don’t ever want to stifle you.”

Izzy lolls his head to the side, glaring at Stede. He wants to bite his head off, but the fight in him is gone, and all he feels is just sadness. Sad that he and Stede were capable of sorting things out in a matter of minutes that he and Ed had to fight to.

Izzy tries to shift further away, despite not entirely hating the comfort Stede was offering, but his leg decides to pinch up that exact moment. He sucks in a pained breath, which develops into another coughing fit. His head throbs in time with his hip and he tries to stretch himself out to alleviate the pain. Stede puts the pieces together.

“Your leg bothering you?”

Izzy grimaces and adjusts himself with shaky arms. “It’s misaligned. I have an appointment in a month, another reason why I shouldn’t be taking leisurely strolls to the hospital.”

“It’s not a stroll, Iz, you’ve obviously really come down with something. And I wasn’t about to suggest the doctor again.” Stede eyes the way he's got himself pressed against the cushions, chest moving up and down shallowly. He looks miserable and his own chest genuinely hurts at seeing him in pain. He reaches an experimental hand out toward him. “May I?”

“What do you know about joint pain?” Izzy accuses, but he relaxes his leg a little bit. Stede scoots up the couch so his knees are pressed into the cushion and his left and Izzy’s right thigh are pressed together. He starts to pull izzy's pants down when he asks it again.

“May I?”

Izzy blinks. “Won’t your boyfriend be mad when he finds out you've been feeling me up tonight?”

Stede sighs. “It's for your health, Iz. And Ed trusts me. Now I want you to do the same.”

Izzy can't help it. He feels suspicious, but Stede has always been a generally pleasant roommate. Maybe a little too cheery at times and kind of a goofball, but he guessed it was true that at his core, Ed had been like that too. And he kind of misses it. He misses him in general.

Izzy shimmies his pants down and worries the raw skin on his leg. “I suppose you know what to do.”

Stede’s hands are soft. Being a cartographer Izzy supposes there's not much reason to go abusing your hands for, but it surprises him. Stede rubs the abused flesh with his thumbs, the rest of his fingers working around his thigh. Izzy decides that he doesn’t give that bad of a massage.

Izzy also decides that he likes his company. He's still absolutely freezing, but he feels some kind of warmth in his heart that wasn't there before. The pain in his leg ebs so he can draw his focus back into his chest. He squeaks with more pained wheezes, crossing his arms over himself. Stede stops what he's doing and pulls a blanket to drape over Izzy.

“That's enough for now. I don't like the sound of that cough at all.”

Izzy pouts when Stede moves away. “I guess…to ease your precious little heart I may relent to a doctor’s visit tomorrow.”

Stede smiles. “Great. Ed will be thrilled.”

Izzy doesn’t know how to clarify that he’s more so doing it on Stedes behalf but it doesn’t matter because suddenly he’s left with very little energy. He snuggles more into the blanket, eyeing Stede somewhat fondly.

“You’re not a bad nurse. Your anecdotes could use a little work.”

Stede rolls his eyes, but the smile is still there. “It was my pleasure. Get some rest before you change your mind.”

Izzy sleeps deeply for a while, well past dinnertime, but is ripped violently from a dream right after midnight. He pulls himself up into a sitting position, white dots dancing in his vision. The first two coughs are quiet warnings, and the next ones confirm to his dread that he's gotten worse. They scrape his lungs of everything they have before filling up once more for another round. He rolls over off of the couch, peeling the air for a breath when the room suddenly floods with light. Izzy squeezes his eyes shut and somebodys by his side again, helping him off the floor.

“Is he alright?” Stedes too far away voice asks.

Izzy blinks against the dizziness to crane his neck up at his helper. Ed's blurry face stares back down at him, framed in yellow ceiling lights. He looks like an angel. A grimy angel that smells like restaurant patrons and seafood.

“Yeah. Think so,” he mumbles. His feather light touch is on Izzy’s brow and it takes everything in him to not lean into the touch. He just squints at Ed, feeling horrible and wonderful all at once. Ed's voice suddenly goes very soft. “Iz, what happened to you, bru?”

Izzy’s chest ignites and he's suddenly fighting for his life once more. Ed sends Stede to get some water while he props him back up onto the couch.

“Seem to have taken a turn for the worse,” he rasps. “How was work?”

Ed dodges the question, tearing off his vest and picking a few things off of the floor from the day. “Stede treat you alright?”

Izzy hums in confirmation. “Bonnets’ been a peach. I see why you like him.”

He means the compliment, but it comes out with a bitter edge to it. He can’t tell if Ed detects it or not but he throws his things in a basket and stands close, regarding Izzy.

“Glad you guys are getting along.” He hesitates for a minute, more words on his tongue that he doesn’t know how to say. But Izzy is pale and weak and he needs some strength. Ed thinks they could probably talk more tomorrow. “I’ll see you in the morning, ‘kay?”

Izzy nods. And when he falls asleep again, he’s actually looking forward to spending the day with Stede Bonnet.

[mxrp-official-steve]

Your Msparp re-build update: Your Feedback edition!

So! Over one week ago, we dropped the early beta for the msparp rebuild. We let it run for a week, and then we begged with napkins tied around our necks for you to FEEDBACK US.

I now stand before you with a suspiciously feedback-shaped belly ready to go over the data! If you want to see the changes we're gonna be implementing going forward in reaction, scroll right to the bottom!

THEMES

Ok so this is genuinely pretty funny to me. You guys really like the themes despite them being almost entirely unedited defaults that came with the assets we're using. Good to know, though! I was kind of considering deleting this question. Of note many of you want better dark themes and less bright ones, which me and Hex took note of.

LAYOUT

Despite the website being almost exclusively canned assets right now, I figured I'd gauge reaction to the style. As you can see, it's a positive-leaning 'meh'. This is pretty understandable. I did however notice that many of you were asking for a theme more similar to the most-recent MxRP layout in the open forum segment here.

I have an idea for this. A shoulder to tap on, you might say. Keep your eyes peeled in the future- specifically when we get all the features put in and can start putting the makeup on this pig.

THE NEW CHATBAR

Pretty heavy 'meh' present here again- just with a heavy lean towards positive. This is good! Especially since the WYSIWYG editor launched with the bugs we were initially delaying it to try and avoid- of note most of the changes Hex made during the week were Workarounds. Editing this thing is a bitch and will continue to be up until the bugs are patched up- after that Hex can REALLY cook with fire and mold this thing to our liking. The new editor was one of the main things we were taste-testing you guys on here- and with this we've made the decision to keep it barring any like, completely catastrophic incompatibilities or bugs that like, completely break it or something.

POLL; BBCODE OR HTML/MARKDOWN

This one's pretty clear cut, don't you think? You guys want your BBCode back.

So we're gonna work on that!

When the chatbar bugs are fixed, Hex is going to start looking into converting things so they run BBCode instead. It's gonna take a lot more custom work (because BBCode is, to be blunt, ancient) but it's not nonviable. Don't worry- the shortcut buttons will be staying, and ideally so will the the ability to linebreak (because it rules)

It would also be smart of me to bring up that choosing BBCode over HTML actually makes a lot of things a ton easier- for example! Quirks were gonna be a bitch fuck and a half to integrate under an HTML standard. But if we swap back to BBCode, it's gonna be, to quote Hex, trivial. Hopefully it'll save enough time to outweigh the custom work!

GITHUB USAGE

Lol no y'all didn't. No y'all didn't y'allre goofy that 9% is fake only like four of you have lmao.

WHAT COMES NEXT

Unsurprising numbers go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

We have nothing to report on this yet. BUT it's nice to know that my guess was on point- Presets came out by a FAT lead, with random search in the immediate second place. The random search feature is intrinsic to how parp works and its identity as a website, but it's also gonna be difficult to implement and test (expect a big announcement when it's ready so we can stress it against y'all). This is gonna be our guide going forward, though we wont be following it exactly (as mentioned above, some things are gonna be easier than others, and if Hex wants those to take priority to get them out of the way I'll trust their judgement on it.

TL;DR

You guys like the themes, like the WYSIWYG editor, and you want BBCode back and character presets. These are things that're being worked on once the big with the WYSIWYG editor is resolved!

Again, thank you all so much for your support. We know the beta was rough, but you guys stuck with us and gave us your honest feedback! The beta will be staying up for the foreseeable future so we can live-deploy features and let you guys test them out.

[crypticcodexcreations]

Reapers: Isa's Actions Have Consequences

A little side scene I ended up writing came out really well. Hopefully the context is clear enough. I'm pretty sure that everything's subtle enough that nothing needs a warning, but feel free to ask me to tag this with something if it does need it!

Adonis threw Isa into the chair in his office, leaning back onto his desk in front of him. “Adonis, shame on you.” Isa gave him a polite smile. “Adelaide would have your head on a platter if she saw your paperwork strewn about like this. Maybe I could clean it for you if-“ Adonis’s glare silenced him.

“Why do you do these things, Isa? The whole point of your probation is to prove you can change. But you’ve been here for nearly three thousand years, at least by your world’s time. And yet you’re still just barely staying within the rules, just enough not to get yourself fired. I know you don’t want to cease to exist. So why?”

Isa still smiled at him calmly. “That isn’t very long for my kind, Adonis. I am trying but its difficult, especially when change isn’t very natural for us.” Adonis frowned.

“Your brother had adapted before you got here. He’s free to reincarnate whenever he likes now. What’s the real reason?” Isa snarled, silent for a moment to regain his composure. Even so, his tone was laced with venom when he spoke.

“With all due respect, Aelius was never a standard example of our kind. He was content to barely scrape by and narrowly avoid starvation. He was weak by our standards.” Adonis ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

“So you won’t be honest with me then?” Isa raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what you mean. All of that has been completely true.” He smiled from his seated position, just barely not making eye contact with Adonis.

“You only behave this way around me, Isa. You think I haven’t asked around? You are trying to push my buttons specifically. Why?” Isa shook his head.

“I haven’t a clue what you mean.” Adonis leaned forward, slamming a hand on the back of Isa’s chair, right beside his face. Isa avoided eye contact, glancing instead at Adonis’s hand.

“If I reported the way you act around me, it would be the end of you. We both know this. But you know I don’t because I believe you deserve a chance. I asked your brother, you know. About the way you’re behaving.” Isa tensed, meeting Adonis’s eyes for a moment. “I confuse you, don’t I, Isa? You and I both know that I’m stronger than you. In the culture you’re used to, someone like me wouldn’t exist. You don’t know what to make of me. You think you should be stronger than me. And yet every time you fight me, you lose. Not only that, but I never start fights with you either, and every time, I show you something your kind thinks of as weakness. Mercy. None of that is even close to what you’re used to and because you don’t want to let go of those sorts of expectations, I drive you crazy. That’s it, isn’t it?”

Isa grit his teeth, not looking Adonis in the eyes still, silent as his anger boiled. Finally, Isa lunged, trying to slam his shoulder into Adonis. With a sigh, Adonis stepped to the side, letting Isa slam into his desk instead, the paperwork on it scattering into even more disarray. “You’re predictable, you know.” That just got Isa to turn and lunge at him again. Adonis wasn’t phased in the slightest, using his momentum to slam him into the floor, planting a foot on his head. “Stop it.” Isa went limp at his even tone.

“You need to accept that you’re only making things worse for yourself in the long run, Isa. I want you to go home and think about what you really want out of your arrangement. Because eventually, if you keep this up, the fate you sought to avoid will catch up with you. If you stay on this path, it’ll be sooner than you think.” Adonis paused, stepping back and letting Isa stand. “And remember, Isa.” Isa looked at him, confusion written across his features as Adonis smiled at him. “You can always just talk to me.” Isa snarled, slamming the office door behind him.

[elliepassmore]

Forest Grimm review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: fairytales, retellings, curses, adventure

I was excited to read this book since it seemed to have a lot of elements that I enjoy, but then I saw several reviews that weren't so positive for the book and began to worry I wouldn't like it. Thankfully I actually ended up really engrossed in it and am looking forward to the sequel!

The book starts off in the village, which has been cursed, but Clara and her friends very quickly enter the forest and the main part of the story gets going. I was interested in the lore surrounding the forest and the Sortes Fortunae, though we only get bits and pieces of it over the course of the book. The forest in general seems to be magical since some of the pre-curse rumors end up being true, which to me indicates there's more going on with the Forest Grimm than meets the eye.

As for the curse, not only has it resulted in misfortune in the village and a removal of their wish-granting book, but it also results in villagers becoming lost in the woods, never to be seen from again. One of these is Clara's mother, who was the first Lost, and another is her best friend Axel's fiancé and her other friend Henni's sister, Ella. The three of them enter the woods determined to bring back their loved ones. But things never run quite as smoothly as people would hope, and they quickly learn that the curse did more than just cause their loved ones to vanish.

I say this book is retelling and it kinda is, but it's more like certain aspects of it are a retelling and the rest of it has fairytale vibes. Clara's red cape and the wolf that chases them is an obvious allusion to Little Red Riding Hood, and each of the Lost villagers the group comes across also has some aspect of a classic fairytale to them, albeit twisted by the forest's machinations. I really enjoyed seeing the different fairytales play out and thought Purdie came up with some clever twists.

I can definitely see why some people might not like Clara, though I liked her perfectly fine. She is a bit wrapped up in herself at times, which can get a bit annoying, but I think overall she's fairly selfless and loyal. Knowing that she's destined to die, she has a somewhat fearless approach to things, which requires tempering at times, but it also means she isn't afraid to take risks to get done what needs to be done, be it venturing after the Lost and trying to break the curse to going after one of her friends to help them. Hopefully in book 2 she takes the time to strategize with Axel and Henni before running off on her own plan, though I think she will since some of her urgency/single-mindedness is abated by the ending of this book.

Axel is one of Clara's best friends and is desperate to get his fiancé (Ella) back from the forest. He provides a good counter balance to Clara's single-mindedness and is able to help come up with solutions when they're in a bind. Axel has had a hard life, though it's clear he's caring and warm-hearted. I did find it kind of funny that for someone who grew up in a town with a wish granting book (and who got a wish from the book) that he's reticent to believe in good luck signs and fortune telling. Regardless, he does his best to be there for both Clara and Henni.

Admittedly I'm not a huge fan of how the romance plays out here. Axel and Clara stand on some shaky ground at certain points and there are some technicalities I would've preferred get cleared up before certain things happen. That being said, no one seems too upset by things, so I'm letting it slide.

Henni is Clara's other best friend and is Ella's younger sister. She can be pretty quiet and soft-spoken, though her fire comes out when needed. I think she provides a nice gentle balance to Clara's fearlessness and Axel's steadfastness. She also brings up some good points at times, even if Clara isn't always ready to hear it. Admittedly, she also gets the group into some binds that could've been avoided if she'd merely stuck with the group, so I wasn't entirely thrilled with her wandering behavior, but in general I liked her character.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and liked the various fairytale elements that were woven throughout it. Each of the characters had some things that were kind of iffy, but I found them likeable. I'm definitely curious to see what happens in book 2.

[sexyvampkitty]

RP Mini-Solo Number Two: 'Leaving Mystic Falls'

I sit in front of a roaring fire in the parlor slash living room of the Salvatore Boarding House...a half-empty glass of Bourbon in my right hand...staring into the flames...contemplating the rest of my eternity. It's the middle of the night...and I'm all alone...as usual. I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life for months now...and I think I've finally come to a decision. I can't take this anymore. It's coming up on the one-year anniversary of me meeting 'Hotness'...not to mention when I was turned...and my boyfriend is no where to be found...again. I really wish he was around more...and I wish I knew where he keeps disappearing to...whenever he goes wherever he's going...to.

Damn. That just made no sense at all. My thoughts are all over the place right now...and I can no longer deny what I've also been dreading for months...my humanity is indeed coming back...and I can no longer keep it at bay...which also puts things into a really clear perspective for me. I'm done with this crap. I'm done with my boyfriend. I keep telling myself that I love him...and I do...I always will...forever...literally...but no man is worth this. I can't wait around for him to come back any longer. I deserve more than this. I deserve to be happy...dammit. I'm done with this crap town in general. It's time to move on. I have no idea where to go...or what I'm going to do when I get to wherever I might be going...but I have to get out of here. As big as this house is...the walls feel like they're starting to close in on me. 

Swallowing the last few sips of my drink in one gulp, I set the empty glass down on the floor, stand up and then trudge slowly upstairs. Walking into our bedroom...which I haven't even been sleeping in much lately...I grab a large duffel bag from the closet...quickly toss some clothes and other things into it...pick up my cell phone from on top of the bedside table...shove that into the back pocket of my shorts...then leave the room and go back downstairs...bag in hand. I walk to the front door and pause there...my palm against the wood. I turn and glance back over my shoulder...looking around the large space one last time. This is it. I should've done this a long time ago. I've considered staking myself...locking myself into the basement and dessicating myself...but I ended up kicking out both ideas. I don't really want to die...I mean...'die'...for real...and I know from past experience that dessication is too freaking painful...long story...and I don't feel like going through that again...so this is my best option. The only option. I turn my head back around...facing forward once again. 

Taking a deep breath...I open the door...step outside...walk down the driveway...and keep on going. I didn't even bother leaving a note for my man telling him that I left...or where I'm planning on going...because I don't even know myself yet. I have no set destination in mind at this point. I'm just going to have to...see where life takes me. Hmmm...maybe I'll go back to California to visit my old boss and my willing blood donor peeps...it's probably not a very good idea...seeing as how I'm a vampire ripper now and all...and I might try to kill said former boss...but it's about time that I face them and reveal what I am...something that I've also been dreading...and avoiding...since last year. I really don't feel like walking all the way to California though...hopefully I can hitchhike along the way. That shouldn't be too hard. Well...this should be fun...ish. Also...what's that saying again? If you love someone...let them go...and if they really love you...they will come back to you...or whatever? If Damon loves me as much as I hope he always has...since the first day that we met...then he can damn well find me himself...if not...then I guess it was...never meant to be. Maybe I was never meant to be a vampire either...since I totally seem to suck at it...no pun intended...but...it's not like I can do anything about that now...okay...that's enough of that...the open road is calling to me. (End)

[lavenderdreams22]

And if You Loved Me? - Azriel x Reader

Requests: Can you do a really slowburn enemies to lovers fic with Azriel bc every one I have seen is one second they want to kill each other and the next they are making out and it annoys me sm -@hollyismentallyillhelp

A/N: I have such a soft spot for Azriel, it's not even funny. It took me forever to write this, and I am so so bad at editing. Hopefully this is slow burn enough.

Warnings: Cursing, Azriel is mean in the beginning, mentions of war, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, suggestive themes.

“We’re going to need someone to come with us, someone who can help heal the warriors as they are injured.” Rhysand stated, his voice firm as he addressed us all in turn. “Feyre knows the basics of healing magic, but it would be helpful to us all to have someone alongside her.” 

“I’m sure we can spare a person or two.” Madja said, eyeing me from the corner of her eye. 

I knew this was coming the moment we had been summoned, and had been preparing myself the entire trip over. I clasped my hands together to hide their shaking and cleared my throat. Rhysand and Feyre’s attention snapped to me and I offered them both warm smiles.

“I’m available if the need arises.” My voice was low, afraid that if I spoke any louder that my voice would betray my fear, if my scent wasn’t doing just that already. “With my knowledge of healing Illyrian wings, it may be beneficial to have me around.”

“I think that’s a lovely idea, Y/N.” Feyre offered me a small smile before turning her attention to Rhysand. “What do you think?” 

“I agree with you, Feyre, darling.” With a nod from the High Lord, it seemed that we had reached an agreement without much back and forth. That is, until Azriel stepped forward, and I resisted the urge to jump out of my skin. He really had a way of sneaking up on you, but his particular set of skills were probably necessary as SpyMaster.

“Isn’t there someone else that we could hire instead? Maybe someone with more than just the gift of healing?” Azriel asked through clenched teeth.

“What? You want to bring the healer onto the battlefield with us, brother?” Cassian asked, an eyebrow quirked up.

“Not necessarily, but I wouldn't write it off just yet. Someone else might be more useful to us.” Azriel offered, trying to avoid my gaze. I rolled my eyes lightly and Cassian covered his laugh with a cough.

Azriel and I had never gotten along, so this outburst wasn’t entirely unusual.

“I’m more than proficient with a blade, Shadow Singer.” I said, forcing my voice into a calm monotone. 

“For some reason, I highly doubt that.” He finally turned his gaze to me, and I sucked in a deep breath to steady myself. The darkness that resided behind his eyes swirled as his shadows gathered around him, attempting to make him look bigger. 

“Relax, Azriel.” I forced a grin, “I’m not going to get in your way. I only want to help make sure as many of you live as possible. If only so I can continue to annoy you with my existence.”

I stood, pushing my chair across the floor. Azriel seemed to be at a loss for words, only offering me a stone faced glare in return as I turned on my heel to leave the townhouse. Hushed whispers followed me out into the hallway. I could still hear the three Illyrians and Madja debating as I pushed through the door of the townhouse, and out into the streets of Velaris. 

*****

“We want her help.” Rhys said, looking to Cassian for help. “Madja is too old to spend her days on a battlefield.”

“I’m sure she would love to hear you say that.” Azriel stated, watching the fire that was burning in the hearth. 

“Regardless.” Cassian took a deep, anchoring breath, “We need her. It could be a matter of life and death.”

“War is always a matter of life and death.” Azriel mumbled.

 “Do you want to be the one to look one of our men in the eye and tell them that their wings could have been saved, if only you had swallowed your pride?” Cassian snapped. 

Azriel only shrugged in response. The three of them knew that Azriel would do what he needed to, tolerate whomever, to keep his people as safe as possible. 

“What is your problem with her, anyway?” Rhys asked, leaning back in his chair, attempting to look nonchalant. 

“I don’t have a problem with her.” He answered too quickly. The High Lord and General shot each other a knowing look. 

“Then why are you always so cruel to her?” Cassian asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s sweet, smart and beautiful. What’s not to like?”

Rhys seemed to mull that over, giving the other two Illyrians a thoughtful nod. “Is that the issue?” 

“What?” Azriel asked.

“You’re cruel because you like her.” Cassian nodded, verifying his own theories.

Azriel stared at them both, but all he said was: “No.” 

Rhys and Cassian shrugged, but shot each other a grin as Azriel stalked out of the room, surely headed to the House of Wind for the night. 

*****

“C’mon, Y/N. Come to dinner. It’ll give you a chance to wear that dress you bought last Solstice.” Mor pleaded, her bottom lip jutted out.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I asked, pulling my own bottom lip between my teeth. 

“Azriel will be on his best behavior.” Mor grinned, pulling me into my bedroom and shoving me down on the edge of the bed. “Let me help you get ready!” 

“I never said yes!” I replied, but she was already sneaking into my closet in search of the navy blue gown that I had bought.

“How should we do your hair? I’m thinking down.” She poked her head out of the closet to gauge my reaction. 

“Down would be fine.” I nodded absentmindedly. 

“Perfect.” She disappeared into the closet once again, and there were rummaging noises as she searched.

I stood, making my way to my vanity and sat on the stool, staring at myself in the mirror. I really didn't want to deal with Azriel today. He always had a way of putting me in the worst of moods, and as I eyed the jewelry that littered the surface of the vanity, I let out a low groan. There was absolutely no way that this could go well.

Mor worked her magic in just under twenty minutes, and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t deny that I looked beautiful. She was grinning behind me, admiring her handiwork.

“Wow.” She said, letting her eyes scan over my features. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks for noticing.” I turned to face her and playfully rolled my eyes. “It isn’t like we’ve known each other for a century or anything.” 

“Oh, shut up. You know you always look beautiful.” She took hold of her skirts, holding her hand out to me so that we could winnow to the townhouse.

“Rhys!” Mor called, sauntering in without knocking. “Where’s Cass?”

“Right here.” He called from the sitting room as I closed the door behind me. “Rhys, Feyre and Amren are already up there.”

He rounded the corner into the entryway and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. The intensity of his stare had a blush rising to my cheeks as I grinned at him.

“Beautiful, isn’t she? I must’ve told her that a dozen times tonight.” Mor grinned, “Wipe the drool off your chin, and let’s go.”

“You look…” Cassian said, struggling to find the words as he let his eyes scan over me.

“Absolutely ravishing? Stunning? Drop-dead gorgeous?” Mor supplied, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yeah, that.” He shot me a crooked grin, offering me his elbow. “Ready for the ride?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to flying.” I giggled, slipping my arm through his. 

“Just don’t look down.” He whispered, as if it were the best kept secret in the world. 

Mor reappeared before I had realized that she was gone, Azriel in tow. If he thought anything in particular of my appearance, he let nothing show on his face. 

Turning to Cassian, I said, “Let’s go before I change my mind.” 

“No harm in changing your mind.” Azriel murmured. 

I pretended I didn’t hear him as Cassian led me into the yard, hooking an arm behind my back and the other behind my knees. He winked at me before shooting into the sky. I screamed, and his laugh could surely be heard all the way to the Spring Court.

*****

Dinner had gone on without a hitch. There was minimal fighting from anyone. We were all sitting on various, overstuffed furniture, wine glasses in hand as Rhys was telling a story that I couldn’t manage to focus on. The room was sweltering. I glared at Cassian who had sat between Mor and I even though there had been barely enough room for him. I was sure I had him to blame for the warmth. 

I set my wine glass on the stone floor and stood, fanning myself when Cassian shot me a confused glance. He only nodded before turning his attention back to the High Lord. I walked to the glass doors, hoping the breeze would cool me off. As I stepped on the patio, I glanced back at my friends. They were all smiling and happy, and I felt a warmth tug at my heart.

“What’re you doing out here?” Azriel asked, and I jumped, nearly toppling over in the process. 

“Damn it, Azriel. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people that you’re not spying on?” I shouted, a hand over my heart as if that would calm it.

He didn’t answer, just turned back to face the lights of the city. 

“I know what to expect by now, but I’m always surprised by how beautiful it is from up here at night.” I said, standing along the railing, but a few paces away from him in case he decided to toss me over.

“I came out here for some peace and quiet.” He snapped.

“And I came out here to cool off. Give me a minute, and I’ll leave you to your brooding.” I bit back, rolling my eyes. 

“I’m not brooding.” He tightened his grip on the railing, his knuckles turning white. 

“Sure you’re not.” I shook my head. “We don’t need to talk. Like you said, peace and quiet.” 

He huffed, leaning more of his weight on the railing. 

“Y/N?” Cassian called into the darkness before he spotted us. “You alright?” 

“Yeah, Cass. I’m good.” I smiled at him over my shoulder and he glanced between me and Azriel before he crossed the patio to us.

“We’re all about to head out. Are you staying here, or did you want to be taken home?” He asked, bumping my shoulder with his.

“I can winnow home.” I bumped his shoulder back, grinning at him.

“You know you can’t winnow into or out of here.” He cocked his head to the side. “Unless you plan on leaping over the railing.” 

I gave him a wicked grin, and he shook his head. 

“What? It’s only several hundred feet, right? What’s the worst that could happen?” I chuckled.

“You could ruin that wonderful dress.” Cassian took a step back to admire me again and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re shameless, Cassian.”

“Could you two get a room?” Azriel said through gritted teeth. 

“No, I think we prefer the open air. Don’t we?” I looked at Cassian who was already laughing.

“Yeah, more freeing.” Cassian threw an arm around me, pulling me into his side. “We’re just playing, brother. No need to get jealous.”

“Jealous?” I scoffed, pushing away from Cassian. “He would probably keep his fingers crossed that I forgot how to winnow if I did jump.”

Azriel eyed me for a moment, his expression unreadable, before he grinned. He took two steps toward me until his face was only inches from mine.

“If I wanted you dead, it would already be done.” His voice held a malice that I had never heard him use, and I shuddered as his breath fanned over my face. “Don’t ever assume that you know what I want.”

As quickly as it happened, he stepped back and stalked back into the house to join the others, his shadows following quickly after him.

I stood there stunned as Cassian glared after his brother. He turned to me, his eyes shining with anger and something I couldn’t place. 

“Don’t apologize for him, Cassian.” I shrugged, “I’m used to it.” 

*****

“What is the purpose of this mission, again?” I asked, standing beside Azriel.

He was wearing his Leathers, and I avoided looking too closely at the mass of muscle that was on display through the tight fabric. If he wasn’t such a colossal pain in the ass, he would be attractive. The thought alone had me shaking my head in an attempt to snap myself out of my thoughts. 

“There is a young Illyrian boy whose wings have been injured in the Windhaven camp. Their healers are otherwise preoccupied, so the parents asked that I send Madja.” Rhys said, “So, I’m sending you two.” 

“And why does Azriel have to be the one to take me?” I asked, clenching my hands into fists.

“Cassian is busy.” Rhys shrugged. “I promised Feyre that she and I would spend the day together.”

There was no further explanation, and with a glance at Feyre, who was staring at the ceiling as if something very interesting was suddenly residing there, I let my shoulders slump. This was going to be a very long trip.

“Let’s get this over with.” Azriel growled, making his way out into the front yard. 

I followed and he opened his arms to me. It would have felt intimate, being this close to a male, if it weren’t for the look of disgust on his features. I let myself feel offended for a moment,  knowing that he was a master of hiding his emotions. He was purposely letting me know that he didn’t like the idea of having to hold onto me.

He pulled me tight to his chest, one strong arm wrapping around my middle, as he bent at the knees and unfurled his wings. I closed my eyes, and with one strong flap, the ground dropped out from under my feet. I tried to keep Cassian’s advice running like a mantra inside my head. Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down.

“Could you stop digging your nails into my hand, please?” He asked after a few moments, his voice gruff in my ear.

I loosened my grip on him and finally opened my eyes. I betrayed myself with a quick glance down and confirmed that I had, indeed, been digging my nails into him. There were eight perfect crescents mauling his already scarred flesh. I bit my lip, and smoothed a finger over them in a silent apology.

“How long is this trip supposed to take?” I asked.

“A few hours.” He replied. 

“Are we flying the whole time, or do we get breaks?” I tried to twist so that I could look at him, but his grip only tightened.

“Don’t squirm or I’ll drop you.” 

“Sorry.” I replied, forcing my body to go still. 

“Don’t go rigid, either. I need you to relax.” He said.

“Do we get breaks?” I asked again as I forced my body to relax like he had asked.

“If you need a break, we can take one.” He sighed.

“Don’t you get tired?” 

“I could fly to the continent and back in one go.” He sounded smug.

“Show off.” I rolled my eyes. “What’s the furthest you’ve ever flown?” 

“You do ask a lot of questions, don’t you?” He snapped, his grip tightening again.

“Sor-” I started to apologize again, but he cut me off.

“Stop apologizing.” He growled.

“Fine.” I said, my voice small. 

It was ridiculous to be upset, but here I was: hundreds of feet in the air, swallowing a lump in my throat because someone who didn’t like me, and had no choice but to spend the next day and a half with me, was being cruel. I wasn’t sure what I had expected. The tears started to fall without permission, and I swiped at my eyes quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. 

“Are you crying?”

“No.” Yes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” No.

“Sounds like you’re crying.” He stated.

“I’m not.” I was. 

“Whatever.” 

We were quiet for the next half hour as I watched the trees fly by, blurred by the tears that were still collecting in my eyes. The cold air was starting to nip at my face, and with a swift movement from Azriel, a shield went up around us. I wasn’t sure what it was about the gesture that had me laughing, but I threw my head back onto his shoulder and laughed.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked.

“You hate me.” I said through my giggles. “And I hate you.”

“Alright.” He said, sparing me a quick glance. His eyes were shining with confusion, and I was sure I was in quite the state. Laughing near hysterically with puffy eyes and a red nose. The tears hadn’t even dried completely on my cheeks.

“Yet, here we are. You’ve put up a shield so that I don’t freeze to death.” 

“They’d have my head if I brought back your corpse. I’ve been tasked to protect you.” He stated, “And I was cold, too.” He finished, but the excuse fell flat.

“Tasked with my protection, huh?” I asked, and he eyed me warily.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking of doing… Don’t.” He warned, clearly remembering our conversation on the patio at the house of wind.

“Wasn’t going to try anything. As much as you think I’m a burden, I wouldn’t make your job harder intentionally.”  

He nodded, his jaw clenching. 

A few more moments of silence passed before I sighed. “So, are you going to tell me the furthest you’ve flown, or should I start guessing?” 

He groaned, and I grinned at him. He looked at me from the corner of his eye, and even though he tried to resist it, I saw the smile pull up the corners of his mouth.

*****

“He’s right through here.” Devlon said, leading us into one of the tents. “You’re sure she can handle this type of healing?” 

“We wouldn’t have asked her to help if she wasn’t.” Azriel bit back, struggling to keep his cool already. We hadn’t been inside this camp for more than five minutes. 

I touched his arm, hopefully calming him and not riling him up more. He glanced down at my hand, and then looked into my eyes. 

“Will you grab a bucket of water and any clean towels you can find?” He nodded, and I shrugged out of my jacket.

The young boy was mangled. Most of the membrane from his wings was torn and his breathing was labored. 

“Is anything other than his wings broken? A rib, maybe?” I asked, turning my attention to Devlon.

“Several ribs from the fall.” He nodded, “You knew that just from looking at him?”

“Like Azriel said, I know what I’m doing.” I turned my attention back to the boy. “Can you hear me?” 

He only nodded in response.

“This is going to hurt, but I’ll take away as much of the pain as I can, okay?” I said, my voice soft.

Another nod. The ribs could wait, but the integrity of the wings… That needed to be fixed now. I motioned for Devlon to help me maneuver him onto his stomach so that I could spread out the wings. The boy let out a weak sound at the movement, and I struggled to hold him as steady as I could as he clung to me.

“Where do you want the water?” Azriel asked, and even though he snuck back in, I didn’t jump at his sudden appearance.

“Over here.” I motioned beside me, “Can you wet one of the towels and keep it on his neck? We need to make sure he doesn’t catch a fever.”

He nodded, moving to sit next to me as I began my work on the wings.

Six hours later, and the boy was completely put back together. He would need to rest for a few days so that his body could finish the healing process, but after that, he would be as good as new. Devlon’s face was one of shock as he examined the nearly flawless wing.

“How in the hell did you…?” He trailed off.

“Like I said earlier, we wouldn’t have asked her to help if she didn’t know what she was doing.” Azriel stood, helping me to my feet. 

“She must have a lot of practice between the three of you.” Devlon said.

I only nodded, pushing past him and out into the open air. I watched as the earth began to sway beneath me, suddenly very dizzy.

“Show us where we will be sleeping?” Azriel asked, but it sounded more like a demand. 

Devlon only gestured to the house. “We had it vacated pending your arrival. Of course, we assumed it was Rhysand that would be accompanying the girl.”

“Azriel.” I said, my voice hoarse.

His eyes snapped to mine, assessing me and pulling me into his arms in one quick motion. He crossed the camp quickly, kicking the door open to our home for the night. The house was small and old, but it was nice. The warmth from a fire long extinguished lingered, and I sighed into Azriel’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“‘M okay. Just tired. Jobs like that take it out of me sometimes.” I mumbled as I pushed against his chest. “I can walk from here.” 

“No, we’re almost there.” He whispered.

He set me softly in the bed, pulling my shoes off of my body and covering me with the blanket. I blinked at him a few times before I let my eyes fall closed.

“Azriel?” My voice was quiet, barely audible, but he answered me anyway.

“Yeah?”

“I still hate you.” I said, snuggling further into the pillow.

“The feelings are still mutual.” He said, but I could hear the smile in his voice. 

With a smile and a yawn, I let myself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

*****

The floor felt like it was vibrating from the music and the dancing, but Azriel did his best to ignore it as Mor and Cassian pulled him and Amren through the crowd. People eyed him as he passed, and he fought the urge to turn heel and run out of there.

He hated going out, but as he laid his eyes on the table, on Y/N sitting there, he suddenly felt a bit better about having come. 

“How does she always look so pretty?” Mor shouted into his ear in an attempt to be heard over the music. “I bet she leaves with someone tonight. Lucky girl.”

Azriel pretended he didn't hear her, averting his gaze and training it on the crowd instead. Mor had been making comments like that to him more and more often lately, and he did his best not to overthink why he didn’t feel hurt or jealous by them anymore.

“See, I knew she wouldn’t be alone for long!” Mor yelled again. 

That got his attention. His eyes snapped to her as a male approached her. He was leaning close to her face, and she was laughing at something he said. He offered her a hand, and she took it, waving quickly to Cassian, not having seen the others in her haste to get onto the dancefloor, and disappearing into the crowd. At least, she disappeared to everyone else. Azriel’s shadows had started to pick her out of a crowd, and no matter how many times he told them to knock it off, they didn’t listen. 

He watched her as she danced. She looked free and happy as she threw her hair around and moved along to the beat of the music. The male had his hands all over her, and Azriel tried and failed not to ball his hands into fists as she threw her head back onto his shoulder and laughed. He wished the image of her doing that to him only weeks ago on their trip to Windhaven wasn’t the thought that popped into his mind. He wished that he had made her laugh for a real reason then, instead of having made her cry first.

“What are you having?” Cassian asked, leaning into him and successfully obstructing the view he had of her.

“Whatever you’re having.” Azriel answered with a quick look at his brother.

Cassian only nodded before moving towards the bar to get whatever it was that Azriel had just asked for.

She was right where he had last seen her, but she was facing the other male now. Her arms wrapped around his neck, the technicolor lights illuminating her in ways he found himself marking to memory. The males hands rested on her hips, his fingers digging into the satin fabric of her short dress. She leaned closer to him, and he could tell that she was gazing at him through her lashes the way she often did with Cassian. Azriel waited for him to kiss her, but she only whispered in his ear, pulling him deeper into the crowd. 

He lost his view of her, but his shadows weaved into the crowd, against his wishes, to find her. He attempted to reel them back in, but they resisted. 

“Az, you alright?” Mor asked, “You look like you’re about to kill someone.”

Azriel pretended not to notice the glimmer in Mor’s eyes. He tried to ignore the knowing look he was getting from Amren, and he especially tried to ignore the grin Cassian shot him as he set his drink in front of him.

“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine.” He said, unclenching his jaw. He tapped his hands on the table before grabbing his drink and taking two large gulps out of it. 

“Right.” Was all she said. “Well, hurry and drink. I want to dance.” 

Amren smiled before downing what was left in her glass. Azriel hadn’t even seen her leave the table to go to the bar. How long had he been staring at her? Cassian did the same, and when they all turned to stare at him, Azriel followed suit.

*****

A sharp knock at my door sounded through my apartment. I looked over at the male that I had brought home from the bar. Maybe if I ignored the knocking, they would leave.

“Y/N! I know you’re in there. Let us in!” Mor shouted through the door.

I groaned, removing the strangers arms from around my body. I pulled his t-shirt on and made my way to the door. 

“Y/N!” Mor shouted again.

“Give me a minute, I’m coming.” I mumbled, and she giggled from the other side of the door.

When I opened it, I was met with the distinct smell of alcohol and the expectant gazes of Cassian and Mor. They had obviously just left the bar, and before I could protest, they shoved past me and made themselves at home in my living room. 

“So, how did it go with that male you brought home?” Mor asked, shooting me a wink.

“He’s still in bed, so please keep your voice down.” I rolled my eyes. “What are you two even doing here?”

“We came on behalf of Azriel.” Cassian hiccuped, flailing as he almost fell off of the arm of the chair that he had perched himself on. 

“What the hell does Azriel want?” I raised my eyebrows, resisting a laugh at Cassian as he swayed.

“Well, he doesn’t actually know we’re here on his behalf.” Mor said, “Get rid of the bar fly, we need to talk.” She gestured into the bedroom.

“He’s sleeping, and I’m wearing his shirt.” I let out a sigh. 

“Give me the shirt.” Mor said, standing. “Cassian, be a good boy and close your eyes.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, but closed his eyes anyway. 

I pulled the top over my head, thanking myself for remembering to slip my underwear back on, and covered myself with a throw pillow. Mor took it into the bedroom. I couldn’t hear what was said, but in only moments, the male that had been fast asleep was running through the living room and sneaking through the front door.

“It’s like he didn’t even see us.” Cassian laughed. 

I turned to look at him, my face going hot. “Mor! Please bring me a shirt, Cassian… Close your damn eyes.” 

He huffed, but closed his eyes once again as a cropped sweater flew through the air and into my hands. It wasn’t going to cover my underwear, but it would have to do until I could get them to leave.

“Alright, you’re safe, Cass.” Mor grinned at him. “Okay, now… Where were we?”

“Azriel.” I provided, taking a seat on the couch and setting the pillow in my lap.

“Ah!” Mor snapped her fingers, “Right. Well, how do you feel about him?” 

“He hates me and I’m not his biggest fan. Why?” I asked, skepticism lacing each word.

“Well, I have reason to believe he doesn’t hate you.” Mor giggled, and Cassian nodded earnestly.

“What would give you that impression?” I crossed my arms. “Must have been all of our pleasant conversations and loving glances at each other.” 

“You didn’t see the way he watched you tonight.” Cassian shrugged. “I’ve only seen him look like that at two people that way in our entire friendship. Myself and Mor.” 

“You’re both drunk. Why don’t you ask him when you’re sober.” I said. “C’mon. You can stay in the guest room.” 

“Both of us?” Cassian asked, “What about your bed?”

“Oh, sure! Mor, would you like to sleep in my room?” I grinned at him.

He groaned and I let out a laugh. 

“It would be my honor, Y/N.” Mor stood and held her hand out to me. “Go to bed, Cass.” 

“Yes, Ma’am.” He saluted her before stumbling into the spare bedroom, cursing to himself as he went.

Mor and I got comfortable, and I let my head spin with the accusations that the two had been tossing around. There was absolutely no way that Azriel had feelings for me. We hated each other, didn’t we?

*****

Azriel sat across from Rhysand, watching him as he read through a sheet of paper on his desk with his arms crossed. The pounding in his head, though less than it had been when he had woken up on a couch in the house of wind, was lingering nonetheless.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Rhys said as he signed whatever he had been reading.

“How did you know? With Feyre?” Azriel’s voice was nothing short of tentative, and Rhys’s eyes widened just enough to show his surprise. 

“You think you’ve found your mate?” There was no hiding the excitement in the high lord's voice.

“That’s not what I said. I meant.. How did you know that you liked her?” He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, our love story is a bit unconventional.” Rhys looked off into the distance, his eyes taking on a glassy look that he reserved specifically for Feyre. “Probably when she threw that bone at Amarantha under the mountain, but I feel like I had loved her for years before that.” 

“Okay.” Azriel seemed to mull that answer over in his head.

“Who’s the lucky female?” Rhys asked, resting his head on his hands.

“No one.” Azriel couldn’t help the blush that sprung to his cheeks. “Forget I said anything.” 

*****

I made my way toward the townhouse slowly, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face. The skies were blue, not a cloud in sight, and I stopped for a moment to appreciate the bustle of the rainbow. There were painters in the streets, transposing the beauty that was Velaris onto their canvases.

I lifted my hand to wave when I felt the shift. I glanced over my shoulder, towards the sea, and was met with a cloud of black across the horizon. My mouth dropped open, and then I heard the screams. Whatever it was was breaking through some kind of red barrier that had been put up, coming too quickly to be fought off the way that they needed to be for everyone to survive. I turned to shout to those in the streets to find cover, but when I turned they were all already moving. 

I glanced back towards my home, back towards Madja’s shop, and without a second thought, I broke out into a sprint. If I could get there before the shield was broken, I could protect Madja. The city would need her when this was over… My friends would need her. 

Another glance towards the sea and my mouth went dry. What in the hell were those things? They weren’t Illyrians. They were too large to be birds. The sun glinted off their teeth, and my blood ran cold. Stopping in my tracks, I looked around for something, anything to use as a weapon. 

“Y/N!” Someone shouted from the sky. 

I looked up to find Azriel above me, moving to land. 

“What are you doing? Go!” I waved him in the direction of the fight.

“You need to get to safety.” He landed with a thud and spun in circles, scanning the area.

“I won’t be hiding.” I gritted out. “I know you don’t believe me, but I am good with a blade. I can help.” 

He examined me for a moment, his face stoic, before passing me the sword he had in his hands before pulling an identical one from the sheath on his back.

“Do me a favor and keep yourself alive.” He turned to face the oncoming horde of monsters. 

“You do the same, Azriel.” I smiled at him.

He glanced at me over his shoulder, scanning my face. I committed the way he looked to memory, hoping that this wasn’t the last time that I saw him alive. With a curt nod, he was shooting back into the skies. I watched him for only a moment before I took a deep breath and continued down the street. 

The monsters had broken through now, and I found comfort in the weight of the blade as they swooped down, grabbing faerie after faerie, letting them hurtle to the ground with a sickening crunch.

I raised the sword and widened my stance, just as I had been taught, and I fought the bile rising in my throat as they started to come for me. This was not how I was going to die.

*****

Azriel knocked Attor after Attor out of the sky, but they just kept coming. Cassian was flying through their ranks, as well, trying to thin the herd. A quick glance down confirmed his worries. There were soldiers on the ground, too. Hybern soldiers were ripping through innocent people. His people. And Y/N was down there somewhere. She was fighting, too. That thought alone steeled Azriel’s nerve, and with one last glance in the direction he had left her, he let himself loose on the Attor once again. 

*****

My bloody blade became heavier each time I swung it, but it was sharp and final. It only took one hit for it to sever flesh and bone. I was covered in blood, and I was sure that I would never get the smell of it out of my senses. 

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” A gravelly voice sounded from behind me.

I whirled around, pointing my blade at the heart of one of the flying beasts. 

“Well, aren’t you a beautiful little thing?” It grinned at me. “I would love to destroy you.”

I resisted the urge to gag, the smell of its breath reaching me from several steps away. I took a step back, baring my teeth at it.

“Don’t run, you’ll ruin my fun.” He took several steps forward, his footfalls splattering blood over the destroyed cobblestone. 

“Get back.” I warned, taking another step back.

“I won’t hurt you, not yet.” It was snarling now. 

“I said, get back.” I swung the blade in front of me, hoping that would be enough to deter the beast. Another step back, and an arm wrapped around my middle.

I let out a scream as the sword was wrenched from my hands and tossed to the side. The beast let out a terrible, ugly laugh as I struggled against my captor. 

“Take her and get out of here.” The voice behind me said, pushing me to the ground as the beast took a step forward and collected me in its arms.

With a disgusting, rotting grin, he lept into the air.

“Let me go.” I grunted out as I struggled in its grasp.

“Why would I do that?” It chuckled. 

My arm was pressed against the dagger I had tucked away in my belt, and I started struggling again. With a few more violent jerks, the dagger was loose and in my hand. 

“What are you going to do with me?” I asked, trying to pull my arm loose. If I could only get the blade close enough, I could stun it and maybe it would drop me.

“Torture, my dear.” It laughed and I was once again met with the rotting smell of its breath. 

I pulled my arm loose just as I heard the beating of wings in the distance.

Cassian was there, he was so close. If I screamed, he would hear me. He had to. In one swift motion, I plunged the dagger into the beast's back and kicked myself back from its body. 

“CASSIAN!” I shouted, and I saw his head whip in my direction as he was attacked by two more of the monsters. He turned back to them, trying to fight them off so that he could get to me, but it was no use. He wouldn’t get to me in time.

I cursed under my breath and closed my eyes, willing my body to winnow anywhere. I had been winnowing for most of my life, so why was it so hard at this moment? I opened one eye to see how much distance I had left. I would definitely die from this height.

I squeezed my eyes closed once more, holding my breath and trying again, picturing the townhouse’s front lawn, picturing Cassian and Mor. Picturing Feyre, Amren and Rhys. Picturing Azriel. Remembering the words that he had said to me.

“Do me a favor and keep yourself alive.” He had said. 

Sorry, Az. That’s one promise that I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep. I thought, trying to force my body to winnow. 

The ground was rising up, readying itself to swallow me whole as I struggled. 

A strangled growl roared out in the distance, and I opened my eyes to see Azriel shooting towards me, his wings tucked into his body. He was fast, but gravity was proving to be faster. 

Maybe 100 feet remained between me and death, and I reached my hand out for him. He gritted his teeth in response, reaching both hands out to me. There were only 10 feet between us now, but there had to only be 50 feet between me and the cobblestone. 

Azriel’s fingers brushed mine, sneaking up to my wrist. His hand closed around it, pulling my body to his as he unfurled his wings and slowed himself. We were too close to the ground, though. We weren’t going to make it. 

I wanted to tell him to save himself, but, as if he could see the words on my tongue, he shook his head furiously. A few more moments and we would both be dead, so I took this moment to look at him, to really look at him. His hazel eyes and sharp features were so beautiful, and I knew at that moment, if this was the last thing I saw before I died, I would be happy. 

Something snapped into place inside me, then. He must have felt it, too, because his eyes widened a fraction before he was able to flap his wings and we were airborne again. I glanced down, gasping at how close the ground really was.

Turning my attention back to Azriel, he was watching me closely. “You’re an idiot.” I snapped.

“Excuse me?” He was looking at me as if I had three heads. “I just saved your life.”

“You could have died!” I hit his chest with my fists. He didn’t so much as flinch. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“You would have died if I didn’t. Cassian called out through Rhys’ mind.” He replied, and I blinked at him.

“Cassian called for you?” The tears were welling up in my eyes now, and I cursed myself for crying.

“He called for help, I came as quickly as I could.” He landed near the townhouse, setting me gently on my feet. In the distance, Rhys’ darkness was spreading through the city. 

“You came for me?” I asked. The tears were falling freely now.

“Yes.” He said, now towering over me. 

“Why?” My voice caught in my throat.

“Maybe I don’t hate you.” He said, searching my eyes. 

I could feel him tug at the newly formed bond, and a gasp slipped through my lips. He smiled at me, warm and soft.

“And if you loved me?” I asked, pushing myself onto my tip toes.

He didn’t answer, but the words were swimming in his eyes as his shadows swirled around me. He glanced down at my lips once before he leaned in to close the distance. He pressed his lips to mine as the darkness closed in around us. 

Just as quickly as it had come, the darkness was gone, and he pulled away from me. The warmth from his lips lingered, and I resisted the urge to run my fingers over them, to see if the tingling was a tangible thing.

“And if I loved you?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

It was my turn to tug on the bond, offering him a small smile as I did so. “If you loved me, Azriel, I would consider myself the luckiest female in all of Prynthian. Maybe even the world. Because, regardless of how we ended up here… I would tell you that I love you, too.”

He grinned at me then, and the smile lit his face up in a way that I had never seen, and I reached up, letting a finger trace over his features. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. And even though the war was still looming over us, I felt at peace in his arms.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[mortedeveles]

a pinch of reality | hq!! x reader

I do not own Haikyuu or any of its characters however do not repost, plagiarize or make my content into audios!

Headcannons + drabbles of how confessions with some Haikyuu boys would turn out! SFW, minor cursing, fluffy, female reader

Not beta’d we die like men (I edited it, hopefully it isn’t too rough!) 

Approx of 1.4K words, give or take. Enjoy! 

Here’s an idea I’ve had for a very long time: pinching and confessing with some Haikyuu boys. Allow me to elaborate, 

— If you confess, these guys will break down and completely become a mess. They’ll end up pinching themselves to make sure they’re not dreaming: ASAHI, Hinata, Tendou, Goshiki, Akaashi, Koganegawa, Bokuto. 

   After volleyball practice is over, Asahi feels like a wreck. Sweat is running down his forehead, his back, and his chest. It’s a prickly feeling and it makes him uncomfortable. He can’t wait to get home so he can jump into the shower. As he packs up with the rest of his friends, Asahi hears your voice.

‘’Asahi!’’ You call out and he freezes. Oh no. He gulps, gaze still on his bag. He’s sweating uncontrollably and he probably reeks- he can’t talk to you like this! But Nishinoya claps him on the back and sends him on his way. Asahi is too distracted and nervous to argue.

Once he’s reached you at the entrance of the gym, Asahi feels his anxiety skyrocket. ‘’Hey,’’ he tries to play it cool though he feels anything but remotely similar to cool. ‘’What’s up?’’ 

‘’I have something to tell you,’’ your words are making his stomach twist. ‘’Can we talk outside?’’ 

He wants to say no, but it’s hard to say no to you. Plus, what could go wrong? Maybe it’s a simple thing- you want to invite him to an event…or you want to stop being friends with him. Oh, God. He nods and walks outside with you but Asahi starts to wonder whether he made the right choice. 

‘’So…’’ he shoves his hands into the pockets of his shorts, thankful he has something to keep his hands busy with. ‘’What did you want to tell me?’’ He has to lower his neck to avoid the branches and leaves of the tree you brought him to.

‘’Okay, so…’’ you inhale loudly. ‘’I want you to have this first,’’ you hand him over a heart-shaped box, and Asahi’s heart skips a beat. He doesn’t want to assume things but….are you confessing? Oh my God- this can’t be real.

‘’I hope you’ll like the chocolates- I made them myself,’’ his face is warm. ‘’But anyway-!’’ You laugh nervously and it makes Asahi smile. He’s not the only one who's nervous. ‘’I like you. I’ve liked you since our second year but I’ve always been too scared to tell you…but I wanted to tell you before high school ended. And I was wondering if you felt the same way…’’ 

This is too good to be true-! Asahi’s right hand goes to pinch his arm, maybe he's dreaming. But then he pinches himself a little bit too harshly and he grunts, quickly rubbing the sore spot.

‘’What- are you okay? Why did you pinch yourself-?!” You’re quick to step forward, your hands gently holding onto his arm. You’re so, so close to him…Asahi feels like he can’t breathe. He felt the pinch, felt the pain. He didn’t wake up in his bed, so he’s not dreaming. He laughs, both out of embarrassment and relief as he nervously rubs the back of his head.

‘’Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming…’’ He’s never been more glad that he’s not. 

— They’ll ask you to pinch them after you confess rather than pinching themselves: ATSUMU, Tanaka, Nishinoya, Lev, Oikawa. 

“Atsumu! Wait up, I have to tell you something.” The blonde stops at the sound of your voice, a smile taking over his face. Osamu rolls his eyes, deciding to keep walking home. He knows he’ll be third-wheeling if he sticks around.

“Y/N! What’s up?” Atsumu hopes you can’t tell how fast his heart suddenly started beating. He watches you meet his gaze and he swallows. You’re really, really pretty. How the hell is he supposed to maintain eye contact like this!? His face is on fire.

“I hope this isn’t too sudden, but…” you look away before meeting his gaze again. “I like you.”

Atsumu’s mind goes blank. His jaw hangs open and he freezes. Did he…did he hear that right-? You like him!?

His first reaction is to laugh. And he does, a burst of awkward and nervous laughter leaving his lips. Your face falls, and Atsumu wants to slap himself. 

‘’I’m not laughing at ya-!” He’s quick to stammer, hands moving in a series of awkward and unexplainable gestures. God, he wishes he could disappear. You’re probably regretting confessing, seeing how much of an idiot he is.

‘’I’m making this worse, aren’t I?’’ He laughs again, one hand going to tug at his hair. ‘’Just…can you do me a favor?’’ You instantly perk up, nodding.

‘’Sure. What is it?’’ He feels his chest tighten at the smile you give him. It shouldn’t be possible for someone to be this cute! So unfair…

‘’Can ya pinch me?’’ Atsumu squeaks. Darn, that was not cool at all- he sounded like a little boy! He clears his throat, meeting your gaze. ‘’Sorry- anyway, can you pinch me? Just gotta make sure I’m not dreamin’.’’ 

You furrow your brows, no doubt confused at his strange request. ‘’Um…okay.’’ You lean forward and Atsumu holds his breath. Even then, he catches a whiff of your perfume. It makes his cheeks warm but then the jolt of pain that shoots through his left forearm has him yelping. ‘’Ouch! Ya didn’t have to pinch me that hard!’’ He whines, rubbing his forearm. You burst out laughing, lips tugging upwards and your body relaxing. The pain in Atsumu’s arm seems to fade away the longer he stares at your laughing face and before he knows it, he’s laughing with you. 

— They’ll confess first and you ask them to pinch you: USHIJIMA, Kita, Aran, Akaashi, Aone. 

‘’Y/N,’’ you almost bump into Ushijima’s chest, barely able to keep yourself on your two feet as you step back. When did he get to your class? ‘’I would like to talk to you- privately if that’s possible.’’ He looks at you expectantly and you swallow nervously. Slowly, you nod. 

‘’Sure. Let’s walk outside?’’ He nods. It’s lunchtime so there’s no harm in hearing him out…you hope. 

‘’So, what is it you wanted to talk about? Is something wrong?’’ You speak once the two of you have reached Shiratorizawa’s open area. The weather is nice today, with the sun shining down softly and some wind rustling through the trees. 

‘’Oh, nothing is wrong. I simply want to tell you something,’’ he clears his throat and you notice that his hands are behind his back. It’s nothing out of the ordinary but it makes you wonder if he’s hiding something. As if reading your mind, Ushijima pulls out a bouquet of your favorite flowers from behind and you think you’re going to faint.

‘’These are for you,’’ his voice is deep but with a soft tone that you usually don’t hear. ‘’Satori told me girls appreciate being given flowers… I hope you like them.’’ Flowers aren’t your all-time favorite but the gesture still makes your face warm.

‘’Thank you…’’ you grab the flowers with a smile. Your heart’s racing but you try to ignore it. ‘’I love them.’’ 

‘’I’m glad to hear that,’’ you’re surprised to see a tinge of pink on his face. You’ve never seen Ushijima nervous or flustered- this is a first. ‘’I also asked the florist to put a pink camellia- they’re supposed to symbolize longing and affection,’’ Oh? Your heart skips a beat. 

‘’I don't think it's necessary, but I’ll say this as to avoid any confusion or miscommunication…’’ he takes a step closer to you and you swallow audibly. He’s so warm and it’s hard to not lean into him. ‘’I am enamored by you, Y/N. And I wish to be in a romantic relationship with you if you reciprocate my feelings.’’ 

‘’Um…’’ you barely manage to squeak it out. ‘’Can you pinch me?’’

Ushijima furrows his brows. ‘’Pinch…you…? Why?’’ He looks concerned and your face is growing warm with embarrassment.

‘’I have to make sure…I’m not dreaming…’’ your voice is so low that Ushijima has to lean forward. His hair slightly brushes against your face and it tickles. 

‘’Come again?’’ You want to squeal and bury your face into a pillow. With a dramatic groan, you lower your head. 

‘’I want you to pinch me so I’m sure that this isn’t a dream…’’ you grumble. Ushijima doesn’t respond at first but then you hear him chuckle. It’s a foreign sound to your ears and it feels like a blessing.

‘’I’m sure I can prove you’re not dreaming in another way…’’ one of his hands goes to your back, slowly pulling you closer to him. ‘’If you’ll allow me.’’ 

A/N: I hadn’t done headcannons/drabbles in a hot minute and I’ve had this idea in my drafts for months :’) Consider reblogging, commenting, and liking if you enjoyed! Much love and happy holidays <3 

[autisticlancemcclain]

You Can Always Find Me (In Our Favourite Little Memories)

Keith/Lance (Voltron), MCD, Angst, 2.3k Words

Summary: 

“Well, we managed to avoid the worst case scenario,” Pidge commented, sounding a little strangled. Keith opened his eyes, just then realizing he’d shut them tightly. Man, he should have kept them shut. Standing in front of him was, well. Keith. A younger version of him — maybe 19? 20? — was standing in front of them, eyes narrow and stance wary. He had his hand on his knife. --- OR: Voltron gets a very special visitor, who brings up some memories.

---

“Allura — what’s going on?” Keith demanded, tense. Allura was gripping the helms of the wormhole pedestal, face screwed up in a deeply concerning mix of determination and panic.

“There’s — there’s something wrong with the teleduv! The wormhole is corrupting, it’s mixing with another reality! Probably!”

“So what does that mean?” Pidge interjected, tapping desperately on her holopad to see if she could fix anything. Allura was too busy to explain much else, so Coran weighed in.

“Best case, we get some visitors. Hopefully not from our exact timeline. Worst case, well. We won’t have to worry about worst case.”

“Because we won’t be there to worry about it,” Hunk inferred. Coran nodded grimly.

“Brace yourselves!” Allura shouted, and the team barely had time to hold themselves steady before there was a huge flash of light, and everything went still.

“Well, we managed to avoid the worst case scenario,” Pidge commented, sounding a little strangled. Keith opened his eyes, just then realizing he’d shut them tightly.

Man, he should have kept them shut.

Standing in front of him was, well. Keith. A younger version of him — maybe 19? 20? — was standing in front of them, eyes narrow and stance wary. He had his hand on his knife.

“Why am I here?” he asked, cautious. Shiro sighed, with what Keith felt was probably a tad bit much attitude considering the situation they were in.

Yeesh. They were alive , at least. Maybe he was just annoyed that this was biting into his nap time.

Keith fought down a smile at his own thoughts (he hung out with Pidge way too much) and went ahead and explained the situation before Shiro had a chance.

“We’re having some teleduv issues, so there was a timespace continuum problem. I think. Pidge could explain it in more detail, but something tells me you don’t really need to hear it.”

Timespace Keith visibly relaxed, slumping forward. “Oh. Cool,” he said. “Uh, what year is it? When can I go back? I was, um,” he flushed a little, “in the middle of something.”

Pidge could not resist teasing any version of Keith, apparently.

“Doing what?” she taunted. Hunk, who was a traitor and also loved driving Keith up the wall, jumped right in.

“Or maybe… doing who ?” he corrected, smirking. He and Pidge sniggered, fist bumping each other.

Regular Keith rolled his eyes, but Timespace Keith flushed red from his forehead to his neck.

“Nothing! Well, I mean, not nothing , Lance isn’t — not that I was doing anything with Lance! Well, I was, I’m not ashamed of him, but it’s not what you’re thinking! Or —" the giggles that had started at the beginning of his rambling mess of a defense had devolved into full-blown laughing.

“Shut up!” Timespace Keith demanded hotly. Keith decided to take pity on the guy. He was, after all, him .

“Please feel free to ignore them. They —" he looked at them pointedly — “are going to figure out how to send you back, with Allura and Coran. I can go show you some cool training moves, if you like.” The word ‘training’ wasn’t even out of his mouth before Timespace Keith perked up. Pidge rolled her eyes.

“Of course any version of you is obsessed with training,” she muttered. Keith ignored the comment, gesturing for Timespace Keith to follow him. The two made their way to the training deck.

Once everyone was out of earshot, Timespace Keith began firing off question after question, evidently not feeling shy around a future version of himself.

“So, am I in a different reality, or am I in the future? What year is it? Have we defeated Zarkon? Am I still half-alien here? Is — uh,” he coughed, going a little red, “is Lance around? Are we… close, here?” Keith smiled at the onslaught of curiosity, but couldn’t stop the slight pain from spreading through his chest. This Keith — he was so young . He hadn’t had the chance to have his heart broken one too many times.

“Don’t know, most likely, don’t know but probably around our fourteenth year in space, yes, yes,” he hesitated on the next question. “Lance is — on a mission. And yes,” he smiled softly, “Lance and I are definitely close .” He put special emphasis on the last word, the tiniest bit mocking so his past self knew that he was being teased. Timespace Keith flushed deeper. He cleared his throat again.

“That’s, uh. That’s good,” he said. A slightly awkward silence followed, luckily broken by their arrival at the training room. Keith opened the door, gesturing for Timespace Keith to head in.

“So… what are we gonna do?” Timespace Keith asked, rocking back on his heels. Keith raised an eyebrow, grinning slightly.

“Spar, dumbass. Did time travel knock out your braincells? Or did you leave them with Lance?”

Timespace Keith scowled. “My braincells are perfectly fine, thank you! I just didn’t want to make assumptions!”

Keith laughed lightly, stepping back into a fighting stance. Timespace Keith mirrored him.

“Ready?” Keith asked. In lieu of an answer, Timespace Keith surged forward, and the two began to fight.

“So,” asked Timespace Keith between punches, “can I ask you stuff about my future, or are you going to be weird about it?” Keith ducked, avoiding a blow to the head, and shrugged.

“No, you can ask,” he answered, “Pidge didn’t tell me to keep silent or anything, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I probably won’t go into explicit detail or anything, but I’ll answer your questions.” There were a few moments of silence as Keith sped up, sending a flurry of movement and ninja prowess at Timespace Keith’s torso. He did his best to avoid it, but he was less trained than Keith, and it showed. He hit the mat with a bang, and scrambled back up immediately.

“Uh, okay. How did we kill Zarkon?”

“Lance’s plan. He did some intel and found the base controlling most of the sentries, and taking out Zarkon wasn’t nearly as hard when he had no protection.”

“Of course it was Lance’s plan,” Timespace Keith said, smiling softly. The goo-goo eyes were in full affect, and Keith’s chest ached at the sight. “How did we get Shiro back?”

“Black spit him back out of the astral realm when they felt he had enough rest and we had bonded enough as a team. It took about eight months. Almost right after Lance and I realised we worked best together in all areas, actually.” Timespace Keith flushed again, visible despite his already exertion-red face.

“So, uh, soon, then,” he surmised.

“If you and Lance just started seeing each other, then yeah. Soon.” Timespace Keith’s smile grew excited, boyish even, although whether it was at the thought of his and Lance's relationship or of Shiro’s impending return was up for debate. He was starting to slow, too, to tire out. He feinted to the left, likely trying out a disarming move that almost always worked on opponents. Unfortunately for him, Keith had been using that move for three times as long as he had, and he easily intercepted it, sweeping his leg and knocking Timespace Keith to the ground. Keith stayed there, catching his breath.

After a moment, he asked one more question. “Lance and I — are we forever? It feels like forever. He feels like forever. I want to marry him, I think. Do we — do we get that?”

Timespace Keith was still on his back, looking at the ceiling. Keith reached up to the ring he kept on the chain around his neck, and swallowed roughly.

���You’re going to love him until the day you die,” he said after a moment. “He’s your forever person.”

Timespace Keith sat up, scrutinising Leith for a moment. Keith held his gaze, face impassive despite the bleeding feeling in his heart.

“I guess I don’t need to know everything,” Timespace Keith decided eventually. Keith was saved from responding by a buzz on his comms.

“Pidge says they’ve figured out how to get you home,” he announced. Timespace Keith grinned, hurrying to his feet and heading to the door. The two walked back together in silence, but Timespace Keith’s quick footsteps and the smile he kept shoving down gave away his excitement. He clearly couldn’t wait to go home, to Lance.

Keith felt the ache in his chest deepen.

They arrived at the bridge, everyone turning to them as they entered.

“Hey, guys!” Hunk greeted. They both waved at the same time. Hunk grinned. “We can send you home, now, Other Keith. Step up onto this plate, keep your hands to your sides, and maybe close your eyes. Pidge is gonna press a button in a sec and when you open your eyes again, you should be right back home!”

Timespace Keith dutifully followed the instructions, but turned to face Keith before Pidge could send him back.

“Uh, thanks for the answers,” he said awkwardly. He twisted his fingers, debating something, then visibly decided to go for it. “Tell — tell future Lance I said hi, maybe, when he gets back from his mission.”

There was a sharp inhale from behind him, and the general look of joy dropped from Hunk’s face. Coran, Allura, and Shiro avoided Keith’s gaze, looking at the floor with similar tight expressions on their faces. Thankfully, Timespace Keith was too excited at the prospect of going home to notice, keeping his eyes on Keith’s face. Keith shot him a small, wistful smile.

“As soon as I see Lance again, I’ll tell him,” he promised. Timespace Keith smiled, then closed his eyes. Pidge pressed a button, and there was a flash of light, and then it was still, and Timespace Keith was nowhere to be seen.

A strange silence persisted among the team. Hunk was the first to break it.

“You told him Lance — that Lance was on a mission?” he asked quietly. Keith shrugged, intimately aware that he was not the only one feeling the persistent ache in his chest. It came and went, but no one on the ship was ever truly rid of it.

“No reason to hurt him any more than I have to,” Keith whispered. “He has time. Maybe it won’t even happen, for him.”

No one met his eyes. Everyone knew it was possible, but it didn’t matter. Nothing would change for them. They would feel this ache for the rest of their lives.

“Today has been… stressful,” Coran said after a moment. “Perhaps… perhaps we should all turn in for the night. Process.” There were murmured noises of agreement, and everyone began to head for their rooms. They all knew what Coran meant by ‘process’, and while it was sometimes best to do that together, everyone was a little too tired for that tonight. Too strained. Tomorrow, they’d gather together in the observation deck, watch the orbit of the Earth, and work through the pain in their hearts as a team. Tonight, they’ll allow themselves to feel it, just for a little while. To soak in it, to be grateful for it. To feel this grief was to remember the love they had for him.

—

Keith waited until he was sure everyone was asleep, and then grabbed Lance’s old hunter jacket from its special hook, making his way to the observation deck. He sat down, facing the stars, and held the jacket tightly in his hands, his whole body tense. A tear dripped down his nose, into his lap, and he let out a shaky sigh.

“I missed you worse, today,” he started. “We had some issues with the teleduv, and a version of me came to visit. Young. We had just started seeing each other, in his timeline. He was so smitten. It was honestly adorable.” Keith smiles shakily, more and more tears falling steadily from his burning eyes.

“He asked me if we were still dating, if we were in love. If — if I got to marry you.” Keith chokes on a sob, twisting the ring on its chain. The one he never got to use.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Maybe you’re watching, and you know already. Sometimes I hope you are, that you’re always watching me. Watching all of us. I know that’s what you believed, that you’d be guarding your loved ones from Heaven. Man, I hope your God has given you something better to do.” He huffs out a broken laugh. “We’re pretty boring, these days, with no more Empire to defeat. Small missions, and all that.”

Keith balls up the jacket, pressing it to his face and letting it absorb his tears. He imagines Lance in front of him, holding him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Like he always did when Keith was grieving.

“I miss you so much,” Keith whispered. “I wish it didn’t have to be you. Or, at least, I wish I got to go with you. Do you know how hard it is, to wait for you? To hope that you’re right, and we’ll get to spend eternity together when I die? It’s hard on my own, Lance. I still can’t handle all the mushy shit. I still have to remind myself I’m part of a team.” Keith sighs, wiping his face and slipping the tear-stained jacket over his shoulders. He pulls the hood up, and looks out to the stars.

“I meant what I said,” he says softly. “To the other me. You’re it for me. I’ll love you till the day I die. I don’t care what else or who else I meet.”

He closes his eyes, bringing the ring up to press to his lips.

“I love you, Leandro Esposita-McClain. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again.”

With that, he makes his way back to his bed and dreams of the life he could have had. The life spent to it’s fullest, with everything he ever wanted. Marriage, a family, settling down. Growing old with Lance.

Hopefully, somewhere, some version of them gets that.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

icarus my beloved, may i please request for a zombie apocalypse au (dsmp) and the characters haven’t seen you ever since the apocalypse started and they’ve been trying to find you for a long time, but once they finally find you, you’re already turned. basically how different dsmp characters would react to finding you turned as a zombie :> also i find your stuff ✨imaculate✨

and may i pls be ur 🌧anon?

I lovvvvveeeee Zombie apocalypse AUs. I'm very excited to write this. Also, thank you! I appreciate your compliment!

Yes, you can be! I'll eventually make an Anon list... Eventually.

In order of: Dream, Bad, Tommy (and Tubbo?), Ranboo, Ghostbur, Philza

Tommy's story is Bench Trio while Ranboo's story is more around Boreal Boys.

The Boreal Boys is set around the Antarctic Empire rather than the DSMP.

Edit: Trying to put a cut in. 50/50 on whether or not it worked.

DSMP Reacting to You Being Turned Into A Zombie (Multiple x GN!Reader)

They grunted, stepping over a fallen log as they yanked a crossbow bolt out of the skull of a fallen zombie, shoving it into their bag where other bolts and arrows were wrapped up. Ignoring the murmuring of their companion(s) as they looked over the faces of rotten flesh, thankfully none of them striking a familiar chord in their mind.

"They could still be alive..." They murmured softly under their breath as they walked back to the campsite that they and their companion(s) had originally set up. With a sigh, they plopped down in front of the crackling flame and adjusted the food that had been cooking before a horde of zombies had made their way through the makeshift barricade.

Ignoring the snores of their sleeping 'teammate(s) of survival', they eagerly dug into the food after it finished cooking before pausing mid-bite as they heard a crackling in the branches. Drawing their sword out from the sheath on their hip while they set their food down back into the pan, they spun around to face their possible attacker, silently hoping it was a wild animal they could use for meat, wool or feathers.

Glancing through the forest, they squinted as they saw movement but the firelight only spread so far which wasn't enough to shed light on the figure. With a sigh, they took a burning branch from the fire and lifted it, beginning to walk forward.

Judging by the guttural growls, groans, and scent of rotting flesh, it was definitely a zombie. Lifting the makeshift torch enough, they were able to see the undead being better and squinted, trying to recognize the creature before it turned around.

(H/c) hair... Albeit matted and overgrown, and torn clothing loosely hanging to their rotten skin... But when the zombie turned their head... They'd recognize them anywhere... Even after so long...

(Y/n).

Dream

His breath caught in his throat temporarily and he felt the torch slip from his hand, but it didn't fall.

Gritting his teeth together, he cringed and gripped onto the damaged smiling mask he usually wore.

"Fuck... (Y/n)... FUCK!" He took a few steps back to avoid the lame swipes you took at him.

He was thankful that your movement was hindered to the point where your steps were small shuffles.

"You promised..." He whispered, looking down at his trademark symbol.

It was a gift from you. Two years ago... You had promised... You promised that you would be okay...

And now here you were... Lifeless but alive... Groaning and gnashing your teeth at him...

He faintly heard the pounding footsteps of George and Sapnap behind him, likely having heard him yell.

"Dream?!" George yelled before the steps immediately came to a stop.

"Is that..."

"They promised..." He whined softly before pinching his eyes shut again as anger quickly overtook him. With a fierce battle cry, he swung his sword.

The strike was sloppy, filled with emotion and too much power. He had a feeling that if Technoblade was around still, he would be mocked to death for such a shitty swing.

But this was a brainless corpse. They couldn't rub two brain cells together to even think about dodging. This wasn't his smart, clever... Cunning... Alive... (Y/n)...

So it hit.

The gleaming diamond sword sliced through the rotten skin like a hot knife through butter, especially easier due to the Fire Aspect engraved into the sword.

He took a sharp intake of breath as he heard the horrible screeching noises that came from you as you sunk to the ground, desperately reaching out to him in one last attempt to get even a taste of his flesh.

He turned from your burning body and placed his mask on to cover his face before his friends saw the silver tears in the corners of his eyes, "Let's go."

"Dre-"

"I said, let's go."

They decided not to comment further.

Bad

He slowly felt the torch slip from his grasp and clatter to the ground, burning the dew-soaked grass it had landed on but it didn't matter.

Groaning and snarling at him, you lamely stumbled forward to grab at him, but he grabbed you first.

The Demon cringed slightly at the feel of rotten flesh beneath his fingers, but he held you back from walking forward.

He dodged the gnashing of your teeth as you tried to bite his arm, but he couldn't bring himself to bring the sword through your chest to finally end your suffering...

He glanced in the direction of the camp where Skeppy was still asleep, hopefully anyway...

Bad knew Skeppy would never agree to keep you around, even if you had once been someone very important to him.

Neither of them knew how zombie bites would affect Diamond Sprites or Demons, and weren't too eager to find out.

"(Y/n)... You muffin..." He put a hand on your chin, preventing you from chomping on his arms, "I wish... I wish I could've said goodbye..."

"Maybe I could've protected you..."

"Would you still be alive if I hadn't stormed out that day?"

He continued whispering questions to your mindless form, but his only responses were watery gurgles and the odd groan.

"Muffin... I'm so sorry..." He whispered, lowering his head to look down at you better, lava tears dripping down his cheeks and landing on your rotting away face, causing horrible screeches and snarls to escape from you, but you didn't yank away.

"Bad?!" Skeppy's voice came from the camp, and he looked over his shoulder to stare at the Diamond Sprite, "What... Why are you..."

"I-I... Skeppy... Do you think... If I had done anything different... They'd be alive?" He whispered, moving aside to let his small friend see his former friend.

The blue-skinned male sighed and loaded an arrow into his bow and grabbed onto the string, getting ready to pull it back, "Bad... You can't rewrite history... What's done is done, it's too late for them..."

"Can... Can you...? I don't think I can..." He whispered and finally let go of you, causing your balance to be set off.

The second he turned his back, he heard the stretching of a bowstring before releasing it. He shut his eyes tightly as he heard the familiar impact of a bow hitting mostly rotten but still solid flesh.

He didn't turn around, instead choosing to keep his head down as his friend brought him back to the camp.

"Goodbye, (Y/n)..."

Tommy (and Tubbo?)

He was frozen stiff, his grip tightening on his sword and the torch as he stared down the undead being.

Honestly, if anyone had asked him why he was still fighting through this damned apocalypse, he would say that he was fighting to survive.

No. He was fighting to make sure you were still alive...

Now, what was left?

"For fuck's sake! You were supposed to be alive!" He yelled, no doubt waking up the camp of other survivors.

"You were the only one- Dammit, (Y/n)!" He cried, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks as he threw a punch that connected to your jaw, cracking the weakened bone almost instantly and causing it to hang like an angered Enderman.

He continued to shout at your undead form and cry, ignoring the worried calls and frantic scrambling of his friends from back at the camp.

"You used to be such a great fighter, and you lost to FUCKING ZOMBIES!" He swung his arms around, his mind barely cluing into the fact that he dropped his sword and torch, "You almost beat Technoblade for fuck's sake! Technoblade! And-and..."

'No. No. Stay angry. They lost the fight. They- Don't mourn their stupidity...' He crumpled to the ground in despair, his tears dropping into his lap as he quickly grew deaf to the sound of shuffling feet.

Luckily, someone ran past him and shoved you to the ground with a shield, sending you rolling into a puddle of mud.

"Tommy!" Tubbo cried, setting down the shield as Ranboo quickly looked him over for any bite marks or injuries.

Once he found none, he gave a large sigh of relief and looked over at the corpse that Tubbo had shield bashed away from his friend, "Oh... Wait..." He frowned, struggling to remember the face that was struggling to crawl their way over to them through the mud.

"That's (Y/n)..." Tommy murmured, sounding rather numb, Tubbo and Ranboo noted, "They taught me and Tubbo to fight, back before we lost L'Manberg... They practically raised us... Despite being a similar age... They were so strong... and brave..."

Tubbo's breath hitched as he took another look at the growling creature desperate to feast on their flesh, "N-No... They're too strong to- I don't- No- No!"

"Guys... I know- I- No, I don't know... But we have to leave. They're going to call more zombies- And... We have to kill them..." Ranboo whispered, flinching a bit when Tubbo and Tommy whipped their heads in his direction, fire burning in their eyes.

Tommy's inner flame was the first to die out.

"I know..." He whispered, ignoring Tubbo's cries of protest as he picked up the diamond sword, twisting it in his hand and watching as the torchlight reflected off of it.

"You can't kill them, Tommy- They're like our older sibling-... Were... like... Our older sibling..." Tubbo corrected himself with hesitance and a sniffle as he looked away.

He turned back to your gurgling form and walked over, moving his feet away from your grabs at his ankles while raising his sword.

With a sharp intake of breath, tears continuing to drip down his cheeks as he rose his sword, "I'm sorry..." He whispered before bringing it down through your chest.

Ranboo

Sure, his memory was bad, but he could NEVER forget the face of the name that was scrawled through his memory book.

He stumbled backwards and tripped over a log with a small yelp, his sword and torch falling from his grip.

The water from the recent rain seeping through his torn clothing caused his skin to hiss, and a small whine tore from his throat as he scrambled backwards.

His noises of pain and distress failed to scare the zombie of his former best friend off, instead only persuaded them to lazily drag their feet towards him a little quicker.

Thankfully, although he was deaf to it amidst his panic and sobs, heavy footsteps and the ruffle of feathers echoed through the forest.

"Ranboo?! Mate, are you okay!?" Hands flew to his shoulders while a pink and red blur hopped the log he had tripped on to start a brawl with the zombie.

"DON'T HURT THEM!" He wailed to Techno, fighting against the hands that held his shoulders to reach out at the zombie.

"Heh?!" Techno used his shield to hold you back, dodging the swipes you took at him with your unkempt nails, "Ranboo! They're dead! A zombie!"

Ranboo sobbed louder, fighting the urge to cover his ears at the horrible words, "(Y/n) isn't dead... They aren't... They can't be! No... no...!"

Calloused hands carded through his black and white hair, which would've calmed him down on a normal day, but now... How could he feel anything but despair? His best friend was now a lifeless being...

They promised that they'd see him again, alive, not like THIS!

"Ranboo..." Phil murmured from behind him, likely having finished checking him for bites. The avian pulled him into his chest, allowing him to bawl his eyes out, the fabric muffling his desperate wails and preventing the tears from burning his skin too much.

"You- you said a gapple and a weakness potion could turn them back, right?!" Ranboo cried, looking up at the elder male, "C-can't we try it out on them?!"

Phil and Techno were silent, and the only sounds that were heard were the crackling fire back at the camp and the gurgles of his former best friend.

Perhaps he panicked himself into a light-headed state, or maybe his memory was worse than before because the next thing he knew Techno was dragging a chained and growling corpse while Philza was practically carrying the enderboy who was pretty much twice his height.

The next few days felt like a fever dream. He spent most of his time sitting in front of a cage where the corpse of his friend laid on the cold stone ground.

Phil had doused them in a splash potion of weakness and forced a golden apple down their throat a few hours after they caged them, now it was Ranboo's job to watch over them for any changes and write them down.

"Yeah then Me, Phil and Techno travelled out of the Tundra back on the DreamSMP, and we made our way to the Antarctic, back to the old Empire that they used to rule over..." He rambled onto your lifeless corpse, reading through his memory book to continue telling you stories, even if you were dead.

"Ran...Boo..."

"(Y-Y/n)?!" He threw the book aside and ran over to the cage, only to see the corpse had gained more of a human flesh tone rather than a sickening green, and formerly black, now (e/c) eyes were staring up at the stone bricks that made up the roof.

Ghostbur

He absolutely lit up with a happy squeal.

"(Y/n)! I knew you would make it through this whole apocalypse thing!" The ghost walked over and put his hand on your shoulder, brushing off the way that you didn't flinch away from the intense cold that radiated off of him.

You only continued walking...

"Oh? Do you know of any shelter? Lead the way then!" He chirped, pulling on the lead that was hooked up to the blue sheep he knew as Friend.

The two of you walked through the forests, Ghostbur blabbering away about memories he had involving you both, but he had a tight grasp on something blue the entire time.

You never responded to him, other than the odd groan or gurgle, but the ghost never found anything wrong with it.

Inside, he knew that you were an animated corpse. He knew that you would never be able to lose your three canon lives, and become a ghost.

Instead, you were stuck as a corpse that would perpetually come back to life over and over again until your body completely got destroyed.

Every time he looked at your growling form, he wanted to feel happy, you were back travelling with him! But... You weren't the same person...

"Wil- Ghostbur!" A voice came from behind him, and he saw the father of Aliverbur standing in front of him, sword at the ready.

"Phil!" He chirped, moving beside you and holding your shoulder, so you didn't run towards Philza, "Hey, how's it going man?" He smiled widely.

The flightless avian put his hand on his hat as he watched you reach towards him uselessly, being held back by the ghost of his son, "Ghostbur... That's not..."

"(Y/n)? Yes, it is!" He continued to smile, although it seemed a little forced, "It's just been a while, don't be so negative, Philza Minecraft!"

He sighed heavily, "Wil, that is not (Y/n) anymore. They are a senseless mob!" He reached for his sword, only to blink when Ghostbur quickly ran in front of you.

"No, no! It is! It is them!" He sobbed, his tears burning his transparent skin as his body shook with horrible coughs. "Please... It is... It is..."

"Okay, okay." He put his sword in the sheath and held up his hands in surrender to make Ghostbur stop crying, "It is, it's (Y/n)... Go say hi to Techno and get some food for Friend... I'm going to talk to them."

Ghostbur wiped his eyes with his sweater and eagerly nodded, "Okay! I haven't spoken to Techno in so long, I hope he's been doing okay..." He continued to ramble as he walked to the attached cabins next to the mountain, dragging Friend along.

Philza turned back to you and drew his sword, watching as you dragged your feet through the snow to reach him, "I'm sorry, (Y/n)... He just... Doesn't understand that you're stuck suffering..."

"Philzaaaa!" Ghostbur skipped out the door, pulling his blue sheep along as Philza sheathed his netherite sword, "Where did (Y/n) go?"

The avian folded his wings to his back under his cape as he looked over his shoulder, "Oh, they were going towards the portal. They said they would be back soon."

"Oh, they finally spoke? I'm so proud of them! I'll wait for them here!" Ghostbur smiled widely, completely unaware of the burning corpse hidden behind the trees.

Philza

Maybe he should've felt something more...?

Then again... He was the Angel of Death, he caused and attracted death like a magnet with a knife.

He swung his sword simply, watching as the corpse burned and crumpled to the ground before him with desperate wails and growls.

First Wilbur... Then Tommy... Now (Y/n)... Who was next, Ranboo or Techno?

He sighed, turning away from yet another person who had meant the world to him but was now nothing but rotting burnt flesh on the stark white snow.

"Phil!" Ranboo gave a chirping noise, a static-filled deformed mimic of one of the noises he often made due to his avian genetics, "Are you alright? One of the traps went off an-"

He wanted to smile, he did. He wanted to tell the boy who was practically shaking with worry as he checked him for bites that he was alright.

"It... Was (Y/n)..." He murmured softly, feeling... Oddly calm about the situation... Or was that empty? It was like how he felt after he killed his son...

Ranboo's bi-coloured eyes slowly rose up to meet Phil's blue ones and almost cringed as he saw that he was practically looking through him, "You... Mean, your..."

"Yeah... That's them. B-But it's okay-" He went to say but Ranboo gave an upset growl sort of noise as his monochrome tail wrapped around one of his lanky and abnormally long legs.

"Okay?! Phil, you just killed one of the most important people in your life... You- You aren't okay! You're numb!" The Enderman grabbed his shoulders... And the feeling of floating that he hadn't even noticed came to a sudden halt.

Oh. He was numb... That's why he didn't feel it...

Wait when did Ranboo bring him inside?

He slowly glanced out the window to see the sun had set long ago, and the fire in the fireplace had practically died out. Ranboo was curled up on the couch on the other side of him, and Techno was nowhere to be seen.

'I killed them... Without a second thought...' His mind caught up with the situation much slower than his body had, and he slouched against the arm of the couch he was propped up against.

'I killed them like I killed Wilbur...'

'Terrible person... Horrible...'

'I kill everyone I love...'

'Techno and Ranboo are left... They're in danger from you too...'

"Phil?" A hand grabbed one of the ones that were entangled in his long golden locks, "Hey, hey... I want you to listen to my voice, okay? You're okay... Follow my breathing..."

When did he start crying?