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tenebraevesper · 2 months ago

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Up Ladybug, Entry 27: If You're Here (Part 2)

''Morning will definitely come, there is no rain that won't stop, so believe in yourself. If I have to choose between the moon and the sun, I'll be the moon. When I'm with you I am shining! Don't bear your burdens alone, do notice that I'm here! Soon in that heart, a beautiful rainbow will appear! Soon in that heart, a beautiful rainbow will appear!''

– Kimi ga Ireba by Detective Conan

xXxXxXx

Chat Noir leapt from one building to another, trying to find a good spot for his little concert. He actually felt somewhat excited about it, as this would be the first time in a long time he played music because he wanted to. It was special to him and he wanted to make sure no one would interrupt him. He eventually managed to find a good spot on a rooftop where he was feeling safe and secluded. Hoping that his curse wouldn't hinder him, he took out the violin and placed it on his shoulder, putting the bow over the strings.

However, there was no music.

''What's wrong, Kid?'' Plagg asked, his voice coming from the ring.

''I… I don't know what to play…'' Chat Noir admitted. ''I mean, I've been always playing what other people wanted to hear. It was rare for me to pick anything I liked.''

''Okay, how about this? You take a moment to think and pick whatever suits your current mood,'' Plagg suggested.

''Good idea.'' Chat Noir nodded and took a deep breath. This would be just for him and him alone, and he wanted to make it special. He closed his eyes, his black cat ears twitching as a cold breeze blew. He could hear the usual noise that was typical for Paris during the night, but tried to ignore it.

What should I play? Chat Noir looked up at the night sky. The stars twinkled like fireflies, but gave no answer to his troubled heart. He knew how to play many classical and modern pieces, but no melody came to his mind. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to calm down and place the violin and bow in position. I should let my emotions loose through the music.

Chat Noir started to play, at first not even recognizing the melody himself. It felt nostalgic, as if he was standing on a field of grass or in the mountains or beneath a waterfall, somewhere far away. It was soothing, but there was an energetic spring to it, like the calmness of an autumn forest with a light breeze and sunshine. It was as if nature itself was guiding him as the bow glided across the strings. Then, he remembered, his green eyes lit with awe. Lindsey Stirling's ''Guardian''… It never fails to astound me.

His cat ears perking up, Chat Noir closed his eyes once more, putting more emotion and energy into his play, even swaying along with the melody, his tail flicking as the tension lessened, replaced by a sense of elation. How long had it been since he actually felt joy in playing the violin?

''Please, keep playing for me. It makes me feel better.''

''Yes, Mother!''

Chat Noir's eyes suddenly snapped open for a moment when the memory intruded his mind, but after a moment of contemplation, he allowed it in. He needed this more than anything. As he kept playing, he recalled how his music brought not only joy to him but also to someone else – his mother, who had been lying sick in the hospital for many months. He would visit her as often as possible, bringing along his violin and playing for her just to see her smile a little more. She was always so pale, her eyes sunken and dark rings forming underneath them, but they would always light up when he played. He wasn't as good back then as he was now, and he knew that he made mistakes, but that didn't matter to his mother. She could've had a professional orchestra playing for her and she couldn't care less as she preferred her son playing for her, regardless of the mistakes he made. Unfortunately, her brother didn't share the same opinion.

''You gave an amazing performance, Félix,'' Michelle told him, clasping her hands as she gave her son a proud look, despite her weak voice. Félix smiled, but his smile faded when he saw the disappointed look on Gabriel's expression. He simply shook his head.

''I have counted at least a dozen of mistakes in that performance. Instead of getting better, he's getting worse,'' Gabriel grumbled, with Félix lowering his head in shame.

''Don't tell me that you suddenly switched jobs from a fashion designer to a music critic,'' Michelle scoffed, then turned to her son as he sat next to her on the bed. She placed her hand on her son's hand, and Félix could feel just how cold and clammy it was, but when he looked into his mother's eyes, he saw nothing but warmth and love. ''You're doing great sweetheart. I would've listened to you even if you played the kazoo as obnoxiously as possible.''

Félix couldn't help but chuckle at Michelle's comment. She was always there for him, encouraging him to follow his dreams and to indulge into his hobbies, no matter what other people, his uncle in particular, said. He then stood up and started to play again, just for her. Michelle closed her eyes and leaned against the pillow, a content smile on her lips. Even if she looked like she was asleep, Félix knew that she was listening. She promised that she would always listen to his performances.

Until one day, she fell asleep forever.

She is gone, and there is nothing I could do about it. Her illness may have destroyed her body from the inside, but wherever she is now, I hope she still listens. Chat Noir felt a stinging pain piercing his chest, but he continued to play. He allowed the pain wash over him, but he didn't push it away anymore. He was allowed to feel pain without the need to hide it. He was allowed to grieve his past and his loss. He was allowed to process the present. He was allowed to hope for a better future. I am free.

With a sudden flourish he ended his performance, lowering the violin and bow, and looking up at the moon illuminating him, the weight he felt now gone. From now on, he would be playing for himself.

''That was beautiful.'' Chat Noir suddenly turned around, surprised to see Ladybug sitting on the roof above him. She hopped down, landing in front of him and giving him a sheepish smile. ''I didn't want to interrupt you. I'm sorry, I guess this was supposed to be a private moment.''

''I don't mind having an audience,'' Chat Noir replied with a smile as Ladybug gave him a curious look.

''That's great, but would it be okay for me to sit here and sketch while I'm listening to you?'' she asked.

''I wouldn't mind that either, but I didn't know that you draw,'' Chat Noir said, giving Ladybug a look of intrigue. His partner reached for her compact, opening it and taking out a notepad and a pencil.

''It's a hobby of mine. It takes my mind off things, but lately, I've been having a bit of a block,'' Ladybug responded.

''I would love to see one of your drawings,'' Chat Noir told her, with Ladybug perking up.

''How about I draw you? You could serve as my muse,'' she suggested.

''Your muse? I'm honored, Bug,'' Chat Noir replied with a bow, then gave her a mischievous smirk. ''Perhaps you could do a sketch of me? I know that I look good no matter which pose I strike.''

Ladybug rolled her eyes, followed by a giggle. Considering her reaction, Chat Noir figured that he was in the clear, especially when she started to draw instead of scolding him. While she did that, he resumed playing, his heart now light and swelling with a different emotion – one he couldn't quite put a finger on, but nevertheless accepted.

Ladybug lifted her head briefly to glance at Chat Noir before resuming her sketch. She had to admit that there was something mysterious and alluring in seeing him like this. She still remembered how much of an arrogant jerk he used to be when they had first met, but all of that behavior seemed to just be some kind of mask he put on to impress her. Instead, the true Chat Noir was the one who stood before her, his dark suit gleaming under the moonlight, his pose showing nothing but elegance and confidence. There was something that had drawn her to him and she wished to know more about it, to understand what this emotion was.

They didn't know how much time had passed as they stood there on the building, but eventually, Ladybug interrupted Chat Noir, showing him her drawing.

''I hope you like it,'' she said smiling. Chat Noir lowered his violin and examined the drawing, his eyes widening in awe. It was a sketch of him playing in the moonlight, with Ladybug capturing his presence, the sharpness of his features and the softness of the scene perfectly.

''It's amazing!'' he said, giving Ladybug a look of awe, his green eyes gleaming in joy and adoration. ''You're a great artist!''

''Thank you so much,'' Ladybug replied, a bit bashfully as she placed her arms on her back, her cheeks rosy and her dark blue eyes sparking as pride swelled in her chest. She then stood on her toes, leaning in, with Chat Noir feeling her warm breath on his skin as she kissed him on the cheek. ''You can keep it.''

Ladybug then stepped back, turning on her heel and leapt into the night, leaving a baffled Chat Noir. The black cat superhero's jaw dropped as he stared into the night, his cheeks burning red. His ears flicked as he finally processed what happened. ''What the-?! Did she just kiss me?!''

''Woah, you just scored with Ladybug! Congratulations, Kid!'' Plagg whistled, amused by Chat Noir's reaction. ''Too bad it wasn't a kiss on the lips so you could remove the curse, but hey, you're getting there.''

Chat Noir remained speechless. Even though he knew that he and Ladybug were getting close, but he never thought that they would get this far. He didn't even know whether Ladybug would ever fall in love with him, but now that appeared to be a strong possibility. He smiled a little, feeling happy that Ladybug genuinely loved him, or at least, had a lot of affection for him, but the smile vanished when he realized what that meant, as Plagg pointed out. Not to mention, there was another issue he had to deal with.

What about Bridgette?

Chat Noir would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't have any feelings for Bridgette. She was his first friend, aside from Plagg, and she kept pulling him out of his isolation, worried for his wellbeing and did her best to cheer him up when his heart was consumed by bitterness, placing his happiness above her own. He genuinely appreciated her and cared about her, and he knew that it only took him confessing those feelings for them to get together.

But, at the same time, he also had feelings for Ladybug. Despite their rocky start, he loved her for her confidence and selflessness, as well as her caring and warm nature. From what he knew, Ladybug had no reason to take on the burden of becoming a superheroine besides her desire to protect, and he admired that. She was strong, smart and reliable, serving as an inspiration for people like Amber, and never asked for anything in return.

It was no wonder he fell for both of them, but what should he do about this?

xXx

Ladybug hid behind a rooftop, her cheeks bright red and her eyes wide in complete shock as she cried out in panic, ''Why did I do that?! Oh, no, this so bad!''

Ladybug slapped her cheeks, trying to collect herself, but the feeling of embarrassment lingered. She was in complete disbelief of what just happened, of what she had done. In fact, she never intended to kiss Chat Noir, but somehow, she felt compelled to do it. Maybe it was because of the atmosphere, maybe it was to thank him for the compliment… Would he even see it like that? After all, la bise was a cultural thing in France, but that was used as a greeting between friends, and Ladybug was certain that she and Chat Noir were indeed friends…

She felt her heart pound, drowning out all of her thoughts. Who was she kidding – she had a crush on Chat Noir and just moments ago, she acted out on it. She sighed. Frankly, she never expected to even have any romantic feelings for her partner, especially not after their rocky start, but somehow she had developed them and now Chat Noir wouldn't leave her mind.

Ladybug took a deep breath, steadying herself and trying to focus on her feelings for Chat Noir. Despite making a bad first impression, Ladybug had over time gotten to know him better. He could be often cocky and smug, teasing her and flirting with her, but at the same time, he was also fun and lively, with a hidden vulnerable side, having opened up only to her, be it as Ladybug or as Bridgette. There was a depth to him that drew Ladybug in, a sense of sadness he hid under a mask of confidence and it kept her intrigued.

Ladybug shook her head, aware that falling for Chat Noir technically wasn't a bad thing. He was her partner and had worked hard to improve their relationship, and he had a crush on her. If they got together, perhaps their bond would grow and become stronger, but there was one thing that prevented her from accepting it – the fact that she still wasn't over Félix.

No matter how much she had insisted that she and Félix were just friends, for his own comfort, she was still in love with him and she couldn't just abandon those feelings. They were still a part of her and getting rid off them would probably break something inside her. However, she knew that she couldn't just go date both of them for her own comfort, because that was just plain wrong and her own morals definitely didn't agree with any of that. Either she would date one person or no one.

Ladybug shook her head, having to smile a little at the thought of being attracted to two completely opposite people. While Chat Noir was daring and carefree, Félix was mature and had a mysterious aura to him, with a soft side he would keep hidden from everyone but her. She had to wonder how she ended up in this situation, concluding that she probably had a thing for guys who are a complete mystery to her.

''What should I do now? I mean, I didn't really get to see Chat Noir's reaction to this, but I imagine that he was in complete shock over what I did given how I barely tolerated him in the beginning,'' Ladybug muttered.

''I don't know, Ladybug. I still wouldn't trust Chat Noir,'' Tikki told her. Ladybug rose an eyebrow in surprise.

''What do you mean, Tikki? Chat Noir has already proven that he has earned my trust and he was working hard on improving our relationship. I see no reason why I wouldn't trust him,'' Ladybug pointed out. Tikki was quiet, her silence puzzling Ladybug. ''Tikki? Are you okay?''

''I… I was just being worried about you. What if Chat Noir is being manipulative again?'' Tikki said, albeit a bit reluctantly.

''I don't believe that he's manipulating me. Why would he act like that?'' Ladybug asked.

Tikki was silent once more, then responded with, ''I don't really know, but something feels off. Please, be careful around him.''

''If you say so…'' Ladybug muttered. She had to wonder why Tikki was so reluctant to trust Chat Noir, despite everything he had done. Sure, he may have been a lying jerk in the beginning who just got in her way, but he had shown to be brave, trustworthy and caring, and Ladybug loved being in his company. While she probably couldn't understand completely why Chat Noir did things the way he did, she was certain that he was far from the person he used to be. However, that didn't ease the turmoil in her own heart.

Back when Chat Noir kept annoying her, it was easy to ignore his advances and focus on her feelings for Félix. But now that she tried to step away from Félix in spite of her true feelings, Chat Noir had become a person she was romantically attracted to and it left her mind in compete disarray. She took a deep breath, exhaling as she finally calmed down.

''What should I do?'' she muttered. ''If Félix and Chat Noir were the same person, I'd have no problem just confessing, but what are the odds of that happening?'' She let out a sharp giggle. ''They are quite different, aren't they? It would be impossible for them to be the same person…'' Ladybug trailed off, then blinked when a new thought crossed her mind. ''Although, there were a few times when Félix left only for Chat Noir to suddenly appear, like the time when The Mime attacked the charity gala or when Amber caused trouble as Queen Bee. Félix did say he was getting help with the former, but I don't recall seeing him anywhere. Admittedly, things were quite chaotic and I was focused on saving people. Then, there's the thing with Amber, but Félix did mention before that he had a way of contacting Chat Noir…'' Ladybug groaned, clutching her head. ''Ugh, I'm getting a headache!''

Ladybug sighed, not really wanting to think about any of this. She noted that she was tired and that she should just go home and relax, but something told her that her mind would remain swarmed and that he headache wouldn't go away so easily.

xXx

I was right, the headache won't go away. But… it doesn't seem as if Félix minds my current mood, Bridgette thought as she looked across the desk at Félix, who was writting down notes. The two were currently at the library, doing some research for their schoolwork, along with Sophie, Claude, Allegra, Allan and Carmilla, the latter having joined them because she had a project of her own that she needed to research for. Bridgette took note of how her friends seemed to be much more amicable towards Félix in comparison to how they used to be, although Claude remained a bit wary of him, despite currently distracting himself by building a house out of books.

''I don't think the librarian will be happy to see that,'' Allegra said, giving Claude a sharp look. The teenager just smiled playfully as he set another book.

''Don't worry, it's not like I damaging the books,'' Claude responded, carefully placing two books to form a roof.

''You're not, but that's only because you know that you can't play Jenga with them,'' Sophie commented, drawing a chuckle out of Allan and Carmilla. Félix, on the other hand, glared at Claude, his gaze matching Allegra's.

''You still shouldn't be doing that,'' he said, while Claude gave him a slightly annoyed look.

''What are you, the library police?'' Claude asked sarcastically as he leaned back on his chair, only to cry out in pain a moment later when a book from the nearby shelf suddenly fell and hit his head. ''Ouch! What the-?!''

Félix smiled, not saying anything and turning back to his book. No one noticed the faint shimmer of his ring. Claude, on the other hand, rubbed the back of his head, picking up the book that fell down and examining it. ''Hey, that's the one I need for my research!''

''I guess you got both unlucky and lucky,'' Bridgette commented in amusement, her earrings briefly shimmering.

''Yeah,'' Claude nodded, turning his attention back to the book. ''Although, I'd prefer not finding my research material this way.''

''At least it has stopped you from procrastination,'' Carmilla commented. Meanwhile, Bridgette turned towards Félix to see his reaction, only to realize that he was staring at her intensely. Once he realized that she noticed, he quickly turned his attention to the book in front of him, leaving Bridgette wondering why he was staring at her.

She thought back to previous night, when she was wondering about whether Félix was Chat Noir or not. She was certain that he wasn't, but at the same time, she couldn't shake off that weird feeling that she may be wrong. Even if Chat Noir acted completely different from Félix, that meant nothing since it could be just a persona he put up as the black cat superhero. After all, Bridgette herself was much more confident as Ladybug. Nevertheless, she knew that she had no solid evidence for this theory and she was certain that if she confronted Félix about being Chat Noir, she would probably sound like a lunatic. Therefore, it was better not to mention anything.

However, Bridgette did confront Félix later on when they were putting away the books back on the shelves about something else.

''Say, Fé… What would happen if you had two favorite books, but you could only choose one of them to read?'' Bridgette asked, her question catching Félix off guard.

''Well, I would read one book and once I'm finished, I would read the other one,'' Félix replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

That was a bad analogy, Bridgette thought, realizing that she would need to explain herself better. ''Okay, but what if you couldn't read the other book? Even though you really really like it.''

''I suppose that would depend on what kind of book it is. For example, I will always be more drawn to one type of genre. Unless you want to say that the books are of the same genre,'' Félix said.

''Actually, no, they are different. In fact, imagine the books being complete polar opposites from each other, but you still like both of them because of they inspire you in a different way,'' Bridgette explained. Félix rose an eyebrow, arms folded across his chest.

''I see… I guess it would be difficult to make a choice in that case,'' he said, only to give Bridgette a questioning look. ''Of course, if we are still talking about books.''

''Eh? What do you mean?'' Bridgette asked, her ahoge standing up as she got startled by his sudden statement. She held her hands up defensively, sweatdropping as she quickly added, ''Of course we're still talking about books.''

''I understand,'' Félix said in a casual tone, grabbing his backpack and walking past Bridgette, only to lower his head right next to her ear, muttering, ''You don't have to act in a different way to make me like you. I'm already quite fond of you.''

Those words sent a wave of heat through Bridgette's body, turning her face completely red as she placed her hands over her cheeks, feeling the warmth. She was completely frozen, while Félix just walked past her, trying to remain calm despite the voice in his head chiding him for turning to his Chat Noir persona and flirt with Bridgette. This left her in a stunned state, with Félix already fearing that he may have actually caused some damage to their relationship, especially since she was constantly insisting on them being friends. It was obvious that she wouldn't expect him to turn things around.

''That was a smooth move, Romeo.''

Félix stopped in his tracks, turning to Carmilla as she put away her own books. She gave him a mischievous grin. ''I never expected that a stuck-up like you would even be able to talk so smoothly.''

''I was simply stating the obvious. Bridgette and I may not have started out as friends, but I have warmed up to her,'' Félix replied, his eyes narrowing. Carmilla shrugged.

''If you say so, Romeo. I just never thought you'd have anything interesting to say,'' she replied, with Félix just walking past her.

''I guess that's because you don't know me at all,'' Félix told her, stopping with his back turned towards Carmilla. ''Also, I prefer to be called Ice Prince. Keep that in mind next time you try calling me 'stuck-up'.''

Carmilla narrowed her eyes, watching Félix as he left. Frankly, she always thought of him as someone not worth her time since he wasn't that interesting of a person, but this little exchange did make her wonder if there was really more to him than this rich boy with a famous uncle. She smirked slyly.

Maybe I should keep an eye on you in the future.

xXx

Gabriel observed the line of trees and bushes in his private greenhouse, his attention drawn to the rows of lavender chrysalis hanging on the thin branches. It was a personal project of his, one he had started a few weeks ago after that disaster with the charity gala. He had decided to go ahead with this project a bit earlier, noting how it took time to take care of the chrysalis, especially in such large numbers. He needed as much as possible of them for his grand plan of finally finding the magical artifacts that would grant him any wish he had. He already had one magical artifact, but his brooch could only do so much for him. He needed more.

''They're almost ready,'' Gabriel muttered as he held up his hand, reaching for the chrysalis and observing it. Those chrysalis were quite special. Instead of hiding a future butterfly, they were filled with a strange energy that reacted to people's emotions, the negative ones especially, and if that energy was released, it could have devastating consequences for all of Paris.

Gabriel smirked. He had told the Mime and Monsieur Pigeon to leave Ladybug and Chat Noir alone until he was done with his project, well aware that the lack of activity on his part would lull the superheroes into a false sense of security. Then, he would strike, catching them both off guard. He knew that both of them had most likely access to magical artifacts that allowed them to fight like this and he had studied all of the previous encounters his minions had with them. All that was necessary now was to take their magical artifacts for himself to see whether they were what he was searching for.

Sure, that also meant that he would be endangering Paris and its civilians, but that was a price he was willing to pay for the ultimate power and create a world that would fit his vision.

''Sir, I apologize for interrupting you.'' Gabriel turned around, noticing his asisstant, Adeline, approaching him while she was holding a tablet. ''I must remind you that you have a meeting in 20 minutes for the upcoming winter fashion show.''

''I know,'' Gabriel replied coldly, turning his attention back to the chrysalis as he sensed weird energy coming from one of them. He reached out for it, plucking the chrysalis and examing it, noting how it was as hard as a crystal. He then tossed the chrysalis to Adeline, who caught it. ''This one has finished maturing. I will need your assistance in the future, so be ready for when I call you.''

''Yes, Sir,'' Adeline responded, nodding. As Gabriel left, she followed him outside the greenhouse, staring at the chrysalis. She knew well what her boss was up to and being a loyal employee of the Agreste household, she was going to follow his orders no matter what happened. Of course, she couldn't guarantee for any satisfactory results, but she would do her best.

xXx

Chat Noir sighed, leaning against a steel beam as he stared at the dark sky. He and Ladybug were hanging out on the Eiffel Tower, with Chat Noir having brought his violin while Ladybug had her notepad and was currently sketching something. He stopped playing for a moment, with Ladybug lifting her head.

''What's wrong?'' she asked.

''It's just… It's been really quiet for the past few weeks, don't you think so?'' Chat Noir pointed out.

''Yeah, I have noticed,'' Ladybug replied. ''Maybe Papillon just gave up?''

''I doubt it. I'm sure he is up to something,'' Chat Noir replied, only for Ladybug to burst into a fit of giggles, leaving the black cat superhero surprised. ''What's wrong?''

''Usually, I'm the one worrying about Papillon sending the Mime or Monsieur Pigeon to attack Paris, but it seems that we have switched roles,'' Ladybug pointed out.

''You're right. But, I don't mind spending time with you without having to worry that we'll get interrupted, Bug,'' Chat Noir replied.

''Honestly, I agree with the sentiment,'' Ladybug replied with a smile. She had to admit that the past few weeks of them just hanging out together did wonders to their relationship. She felt quite relaxed in Chat Noir's presence, especially when he didn't bring up that kiss on the cheek. Surprisingly, Chat Noir actually kept the flirting and teasing at a minimum, to the point that Ladybug couldn't even recall the last time she felt annoyed about it. That left her with other thoughts, though. ''I wonder how long we'll be fighting Papillon.''

''I don't know what to tell you. He hasn't shown himself at all, so this could go on for a while,'' Chat Noir replied with a shrug. ''Why are you bringing that up?''

''Well, it just came to my mind that if things are going to last for much longer than either of us thought, maybe we will end up in situations where we will have to rely on each other as civilians,'' Ladybug pointed out, much to Chat Noir's surprise.

''Wait, what do you mean by that?'' he asked, already having an idea what Ladybug was thinking, but he still wanted to hear it from her.

''I mean that we will have to eventually learn about each other's civilian identities,'' Ladybug stated bluntly, taking note of Chat Noir's shocked expression. ''I know, you probably didn't expect me ask for this, especially since I was the one insisting on the whole secret identity deal.''

''That's right,'' Chat Noir said, his heart pounding. The idea of Ladybug finally revealing her identity to him was both tempting and frightening, as it would either confirm or debunk many of his theories, but at the same time, he feared what the reaction would be when she learned who he really was. ''I suppose knowing each other's civilian identity would allow us to communicate easier if we try to come up with a plan to take down Papillon, but at the same time, if someone else learned about our civilian identities, it would put both of us into danger.''

''I agree, but are you going to tell anyone else?'' Ladybug asked.

''Of course not! I'm not that stupid to just reveal my identity to some random person,'' Chat Noir huffed.

''I know, and that's why I trust you. However, I guess we can leave that for later,'' Ladybug replied, looking up at the moon. ''Once we're both ready, I'm certain that the desire to reveal ourselves will come to us naturally.''

''I hope that it will,'' Chat Noir replied, following her gaze. He genuinely wished that he could agree with Ladybug, but the doubt lingering in the back of his mind kept feeding his fears.

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