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softkitten · 4 years ago

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Months in music, 2020

I used to always write about my favourite songs and albums of the year, but recently I’ve fallen out of practice. I felt I had to write about this last year, as the pandemic has played havoc with my memory, but I need to be able to remember what happened. It’s been important. I came out changed. I know you did too, and I hope if you read this, you find something to relate to.

I’m unsure as to whether 2020 was an amazing year for music, or if being under lockdown and out of work meant that I had more time to spend with it, but I do know that music this year overall made me more excited than any year since I was a teenager. The circumstances we’ve all been putting up with have meant that we’ve had to learn new ways of being, new circuitry is growing in our brains, even if we’re old farts, as we’ve discarded habits that no longer work and take on new ones.

I’m a mess. My anxiety disorder is worse than it’s been since I was a teenager. I’m not sleeping well. I spend a lot of time with my heart in my throat, and sometimes my temper can just erupt all at once, surprising me and anyone unfortunate enough to be present for the outburst. But I’m kinder, more considered, better with money, better at acting ‘professional’ without performing a weird caricature. I kind of moved on from performance this year, despite a lot of previous generational habits. The version of me that I present at work is me in some way, reconciled with the idea that if I were allowed to do whatever I want I’d be on a beach somewhere with a drink in my hand. That ideal doesn’t define me, nor does a workplace role.

2020 music hit different. Calvin Harris dropped the hottest club tracks of his entire career in a year when if you were caught in a club, you were doing something very, very bad indeed. Disco has dominated Spotify playlists and public spaces (when allowed), this is alright by me as disco is responsible for the sexiest parts of hip hop, house, pop, etc. We consume music differently, as the monoculture has by now completely disintegrated and no one ever, ever listens to radio. If you like something, Spotify will find ways to bring you more of it, you will rarely, if ever, hear Britney Spears or even Michael Jackson unless you seek them out. I’ve spent more time with music this year than I have since I was a teenager, I’m excited and awed by it in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time, but I also feel out of touch and very much my age. I don’t go on Tiktok. I don’t get it. I don’t need to be dancing in the kitchen or composing sketch comedy bits on my phone, I’m a middle aged man with payments on my car and a desk job. I think what’s going on is a changing of the guard - millennials are no longer the focus of ‘youth culture’ insofar as that exists. Remember 1999-2001, the cringiest of pop eras, when the major stars of the ‘90s were releasing sedate, mature records or just breaking up their bands, and the charts were the province of things that seemed retrogressive and primitive like Korn? It certainly was primitive, it was made for literal children, and I see something very similar in Tiktok hits and emo rap.

Sheena’s ex was enamored of a scene in a 2000s action movie starring The Rock, wherein Schwarzenegger cameos to toss The Rock a set of keys and tell him, “Have fun”. Well, you censorious unfunky Gen Z brats are welcome to youth culture, I hope you do a better job of it than we did - frankly we left you a hell of a mess to clean up. If you need me, I’ll be working out how to enact my plan to die on a beach somewhere.

January - Work Drugs - Burned

January was a fuck of a lot different. Sheena and I had just come back from Playa del Carmen, our skin was tan and our hair was long. I had a great big bushy beard. I looked older in January, I was trying to cultivate a professorial air for work. I had plans. I was aggressively dealing with my debt. We were going to go to the west coast in June to see Luna, our newborn niece, and we were going to try to make it to Bass Coast, where, hopefully, Denis Sulta would be playing as he had done in the previous two years.

Work Drugs is something Spotify found for me. I know nothing about these fucking people, after a year of listening to their entire catalogue. I think I found out that two guys were responsible for it, two guys I couldn’t pick out of a police lineup. They make knowingly corny ‘80s style pop - think Hall and Oates, or Huey Lewis on tranquilizers. One of my favourite things millennials have done in art is reclaiming elevator music, smooth jazz, adult contemporary, etc. - this music that was the definition of uncool when it was first published is now the new punk statement, millennials never had any appetite for buzzsaw guitars or shouty anger men outside of, like, emo.

Vaporwave started ten years ago and it was pronounced dead within months. It’s far from dead. It’s responsible for Work Drugs, The Midnight, Nonlocal Forecast - music that is desperate to return to the illusory public stability of the ‘80s and ‘90s. Work Drugs fit in because it played well at the diverse office I worked in (median age, 46), because the name spoke to a duality I see in myself. The drugs you take on the weekend, the drugs you take to get through the work day. If only we could be ‘80s adults happily blasting through our uppers-downers cycles, mulling another affair and when to put in a pool.

February - Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper

One night Sheena and I got drunk and I told them my plan. I was going to go back to school for a master’s of counselling psychology, and I was going to pursue a doctorate in same immediately after. I was going to quit my job once I upped my education and apply - I don’t know where? The government? It all seemed so clear and now it’s as easy to recall as a nine year old dream. Anyway, Sheena told me “Your future seems so much clearer than mine” and two hours later we were fighting like cat and dog, talking divorce. The divorce didn’t happen, thank the lord. We went to counselling, and it took a few months, and a few fuckups, but the lessons did sink in eventually. I love Sheena more than ever, even moreso than during the halcyon infatuation phase of 2010, the glittering release from the tension of our friendship, and I feel more loved than ever. Things are good to great. Don’t worry. I’m not worried. I didn’t realize how worried I was before, how flawed my communication could be before. The pandemic year has helped. We’ve patched things up because we do love each other, and because we are seeing each other through the misery and uncertainty in a way no one else could.

I used to envy the relationships of my grandparents and their contemporaries - people who were together for decades, still, for the most part, happy. I remember the way my grandmother would flirt with my grandfather, how they’d keep up their little bits well into their 80s. Contrasting that with boomers, who were all about divorce, made a child version of me think that something had gone horribly wrong.

Tame Impala’s last album is about aging - my favourite off it is not actually “Breathe Deeper,” it’s “It Might Be Time” - It might be time to face it/ you ain’t as cool as it used to be/ you won’t recover - these lyrics spoke to me as I crested over the wrong side of 35. But “Breathe Deeper” spoke to my reality in a more complete way. I’ve always seen our grandparents, Depression survivors, in us - when millennials were firmly at the reins of youth culture, Justin Timberlake brought sexy back right after he raided my grandpa’s wardrobe. That aesthetic reflects us, as it did then. Our relationships will endure because we’ve endured hardships together, we know how to take care of each other in unique, special ways. But the paradox there is all over “Breathe Deeper”, its last lines are “We’re both adults but we behave as children/ long as we’ve got enough to keep on livin’.” Indeed, it might be time to face it, but the world leaves us little other options. The adult world, with its aspirations to middle class status, closed to us forever in 2008, two years after Timberlake. I know the aging club boy act is getting tired. So do a lot of us, but we don’t have anything else to do. May as well go to the club and shut the anxious brain off for a few hours, make it harder for us to reach our blessed phones. Return home. Do this and get through this, and until we see the sun, you’re my number one.

March - Duke Dumont - Nightcrawler

The week after the fight in February, I got fired. I have no idea why. The official statement on my record of employment is “termination, no misconduct”. No one ever thought to explain it to me - did they find out I jacked off in the staff bathroom a couple times? Did they somehow find out that, in my off hours, I’m into psychedelics? Was I chatting on Twitter too much for their liking? I was on top of my deadlines, so why shouldn’t I be chatting on Twitter? It wasn’t a retail job, where if you have time to lean, you have time to clean. I have a lot of work trauma. What happened to me there was essentially what my anxiety disorder tells me is going to happen at any job, 24/7. Part of me is sure I’ll be fired from my current position at any moment, despite having built a totally workable relationship with my boss, clients, and staff. I took it hard.

Everyone remembers March for the onset of COVID lockdowns, but we would do well to remember that we had no idea what we were in for back then. We were talking then about “a week off work” - can you imagine? I still fully intended to see Detroit Swindle play at Hifi Club on March 27 well into lockdowns. Hifi has since shuttered after months and months of closure and subsequent inability to produce revenue. I applied to jobs like a machine in March. Just as I was getting somewhere with interviews, the lockdowns started, and the interviews were delayed indefinitely. I had nothing to do during the day and so spent a lot of time on the online red light districts of Whisper and Reddit, plying my trade, back to my ways, looking for anons to talk sex to compulsively. “Nightcrawler” feels to me like the compulsion of hypersexuality, boredom seeking validation while already bored by the numbers game of it, going through the motions. It’s so easy. Promise the moon and then disappear.

In March, Sheena and I were going to go back to Saskatoon for a party with Twitter friends. Instead, we got caught in a snowstorm out in the Badlands and nearly died trying to get our car back up the hill and on the way to Calgary. Immediately after, everything closed. I think about that day all the time.

April - JARV IS - House Music All Night Long

It’s not a week off work, we have no idea when it’s going to end, and the statistics are going from bad to worse. We watch the news obsessively. We keep up chat threads all day long. We don’t leave bed until our hair is lank with sweat. We drink like fish - at one point during April, I ordered delivery booze, desperate to keep the party going. I met the delivery person at the door in my bathrobe and fell down the stairs. Shortly after that, I decided to clean up my act - at least, the drinking nights have to be self contained. New routines develop. With no gym, we learn floor exercises, playing Spotify playlists of house music off a Bluetooth speaker. Cooking becomes tremendously important. I begin reading Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time in earnest - a book I began at 17, which I finally finished in June, 17 whole years after my initial purchase. Jarvis Cocker, who has been with me since I was 17, returns with a song recorded in 2019 that he seemingly composed with a crystal ball.

“House Music All Night Long” is about endless, inescapable isolation. The futility of making and loving music that only makes sense in a public space, music that’s meant to soundtrack a joyful mutual celebration that will continue to be denied to us for the foreseeable future. It’s the closest solo Jarvis has come to the horror-porno soundtrack of the This Is Hardcore album and it speaks to a pandemic-specific version of the dread earlier described on “The Fear”. It mocks and sympathizes at once. When Jarvis yelps, “Saturday night cabin fever in House Nation,” he sounds like he’s going to the gallows, and we can find the inverse of the release house provides in it, through our Bluetooth speakers, on Zoom, in ragged house clothes, drunk as lords at 2pm, miserably unaware of what day it is.

May - The 1975 - What Should I Say

In May the new routines started to stick. I accessed government relief, the days were getting longer, the snow was gone. On the weekends, Sheena and I went hiking, something we’d only done sporadically before, usually at the behest of others. Alberta is beautiful. Its countryside provides miles and miles of scenery to explore, and we spent hours outside, escaping the claustrophobia of our little apartment.

In May, The 1975 released their latest album, Notes on a Conditional Form. It dominated my listening this year, to the point that my Spotify statistics were a little one-note. This album means as much to me as albums that started me on my journey with music, like Nine Inch Nails’ The Fragile. It came along at a similar time, I guess, a time in which my brain was working overtime to deal with circumstances and emotions and in which I had endless hours to devote to it.

In May I fell out with a younger online friend, someone I’d met only once but spoke to every day for months. I have no idea why we fell out. I asked. I didn’t get an answer, I just got unfollowed, and I unfollowed right back. We will never speak again. “What Should I Say” is Matty Healy talking about being cancelled online by younger fans whose brains are developing faster than his, who love him, absorb his influence, and then abruptly reject him. “How do I get out of this? How do I win them back? Do I blame it on the drugs? Circumstance? Ambien makes me crazy, that’s why I said the wrong thing, that’s why you feel this way, please forgive me.”

After releasing Notes on May 22nd, Matty referred to the May 25th murder of George Floyd on his Twitter account, posting a protest song from his last album which includes the lyric “Suffocate the Black man”. His fans did not care for this and dogpiled on him, calling him self-serving, narcissistic, faux-messianic. He has since cut social media out of his life almost completely, returning sporadically to update Reddit fans and allowing his publicist to post official images. I took acid after my friend dumped me and listened to Notes on repeat. The day after, I deleted my old tweets. I won’t engage with younger people in this way again. I’m done trying to court the good opinion of those who don’t understand me or care about me at all. Unlike Matty, I have nothing to gain from this, and it’s really lost its appeal.

June - Duck Sauce - Captain Duck

I remember the pandemic summer as a golden age. After a few months of it, the pleasure of having wide open days, no responsibilities, no phone calls to make or idiots to impress had fully set in. We kept up hiking until the bugs took over the trails, we took long drives, we took mushrooms, we ate al fresco in Calgary’s outdoor spaces, we went to Fish Creek Park and stuck our feet in the drink. I found I didn’t miss going out as much as I thought I would, this is an opinion I go back and forth on. I miss the good nights so badly, I fully intend to return to nightlife with bells on once it’s safe to do so, but I don’t know how long I’m going to stay. I don’t miss drunk DJ’s, or ones who are so amateurish that they blow the speakers prior to the headliner’s slot, or expensive drinks, or strangers intoxicated on much different drugs than the ones I took talking to and touching me.

“Captain Duck” is a dancefloor bomb, one of a bumper crop of absolute bangers released this year as clubs closed en masse. Armand Van Helden, who I loved in high school, is doing the best work of his career solo and with his partner in Duck Sauce, A-Trak. “Captain Duck” played when I made ratatouille, when I made cheesecake, when I cleaned the toilet, when we took long drives to nowhere, when we worked out in our cramped living room near the catbox. I imagined it coming on right at 1:30am at a packed club, I imagined myself dropping it at Pacha to a rapturous reception. I fear the reality will not live up to the fantasy, when we are able to return. I hope I get to hear it in its intended setting.

July - Spotify “Peaceful Summer Nights” playlist

No paradise is permanent. In July, I had no intention of going back to work. Once I finished reading In Search of Lost Time, I started making music again, for the first time since I was a teenager. Sheena and I were painting nearly every night. In Search of Lost Time features a cast of thousands, innumerable loveable characters lovingly realized. No one would read this long, sometimes dull book if it wasn’t deeply pleasurable, and if one couldn’t see oneself in it. There are a lot of characters that you will think about for a long time after you’ve finished the Search, if you read it - Odette de Crecy and the Baron Charlus have inspired endless discussion in formal academic circles and less formal ones, on Reddit and in the living rooms of friends. I saw myself in Elstir, the painter character who is a composite of Whistler, Monet, Harrison, a million other painters and Proust himself. In Elstir we see the mature artist, presented in contrast to Proust’s narrator, whose search for lost time is crucially also a search for his own artistic voice.

In July, I felt as though I had finally found my artistic voice - with so much time freed up and so much beautiful, heavensent sunlight, all I had to do was concentrate on creating. The music I made is not half bad for an amateur. I found my skill as a painter improving. In a perfect world, I would still be dedicating my days to this. The “Peaceful Summer Nights” playlist would go on at night, we’d put ourselves to sleep to it, it’s one part smooth jazz, one part smoke and study mix. You’ve done your best. You’ve seen the sun. You’ve made things that you might one day publish. I felt like Elstir those days, the aging but still vital artist, the person who is perennially a student, but can easily make a teacher, if you ask the right questions. I go by Elstir online now. I try to access that part of my personality as often as possible, though, unlike Proust, I do not come from a background of means and therefore can’t make my own epic In Search of Lost Time analogue, or my own Guernica. With a universal basic income in place I could be that person, and I hope it happens in our lifetime.

August - The Knocks & MUNA - Bodies

In August, Dennis came to visit us from Saskatoon, driving out in their car Heather. Heather smells like a grow show and is rammed with belongings in the exact same way that my mother’s car is. We went to the beach. We cooked. We smoked copious amounts of weed and shared music and went to bed drunk and happy.

This song captures the feeling of that summer, and that trip perfectly. You are alone at sundown, just as the streetlights switch on, 9:05pm. Blue light from the neighbours’ TV flickers out into the street, and you’re fairly sure they’re watching The Simpsons. A skateboard grinds in the distance. You check your phone. You’re horny. You miss your friends. It’s another suburban summer. The sense of peace mixes with the dread, an uneasy combination. This will be over soon, who’s to say what comes next. Take your teenage regressive times when you can get them. You don’t know when they’re coming back.

September - Modernlove. - Use Me

In September I returned to work after six months off, my longest time away from work since leaving university. I’m a program supervisor now, I run a group home for teenage boys. I have a lot of people asking me questions. I’m good at it, and part of me likes it, but I’m not painting or making music like I used to. I’ve had Marcel Proust’s biography out from the library for months, and I haven’t finished it.

Modernlove are a copycat band for The 1975. The 1975 have been around for long enough now that their influence is written all over Spotify, and if you like The 1975 and engage with streaming platforms you will find Modernlove. The 1975 have a song called Chocolate, so naturally Modernlove did one called Liquorice. “Use Me,” though, takes that blueprint and goes in a different direction. It’s manic, hysterically anxious - a simp’s anthem. Where The 1975 maintain a baseline level of dignity, Modernlove abandon it completely. The narrator is making himself plain that he will accept the worst, most inhumane treatment his partner can dish out if only he’s allowed to continue to exist with them. The beat is all happy hardcore lunacy, the singer’s voice wavers and cracks. It’s extremely vulnerable.

This is exactly how I felt being back to work. I was working 12 hour days. I was sitting in endless, very important trainings while dealing with a suicidal client and anxious staff and then reporting to a boss who seemed to think all my hard work was at best a normal work day and at worst pissing into the wind. Use me. I felt used. I made myself available for use. I waited for phone calls from clients at 10pm, who proceeded to tell me about the shits they were going to take when I begged them to stay in the program and away from their drug dealer friends. Use me. You work so goddamn hard to avoid squalor and misery, to keep it from the door, and here it fucking is at 10:00pm when you started work at 6:00am. Elstir has left the building. I’m a simp for money, the worst kind of simp there is. Keep dishing out the punishment and I’ll keep taking it. I have no other choice. CERB has ended.

October - Charles Webster - The Spell (Burial Mix)

After all that stress, I took a week’s worth of stress leave. I am not the Sicknote Steven type normally, I haven’t had a family doctor since coming to Calgary, I haven’t needed one - the last time I was to a doctor before this year was in 2018, after I picked up flu from an airplane. When I went to the doctor, they took my blood pressure. It was through the roof, and the first time I was anything but low for my age and sex in my life. Why would it not be? I felt my heart jackhammering at my ribcage for three days straight, before I was able to pull myself together enough to operate a vehicle and carry on an adult conversation.

This happened during the weekend of my birthday. I spent some time in a sensory deprivation tank, took mushrooms, went for dinner with masks on with a few very good friends. I painted. And at the end of my stress leave, I went to meet my boss for a showdown. I said what my boundaries were, and since then, I’ve had a fine time at work. It’s not sitting around the flat all summer painting but for now, it’ll do.

This song sounds to me like exploration - exploring the same neighbourhood that the Knocks’ “Bodies” takes place in, but with a chill in the air and some colour in the leaves. The pandemic isn’t going anywhere, in fact, it’s about to play its ace. Halloween is cancelled. People were coming to me, asking me questions, but I was able to make space for myself in the liminal spaces I got to spend the whole year occupying up until this point.

November - The Weeknd - Heartless

A few years ago, I had tweeted during the month of November, “I woke up from a 7pm nap and wondered if we’d already had New Year’s. God I hate winter”. This month was that feeling again, amplified by pandemic conditions and work exhaustion. As is typical for the shoulder seasons in Calgary, the weather vacillated from bitterly cold wintertime air to crisp autumn with no arc or sense of relief. Depression set in. In November I’d organized and was finally able to execute a hotel-room liaison with a friend I’ve flirted with for years. I played this song on repeat to pump myself up for the encounter - it’s a pimp anthem, teeming with sexual menace, crackling with possibility.

The reality of the situation was not as The Weeknd described. We messed around a little bit. We went to the Canadian Brewhouse. We binged all of The Queen’s Gambit in one go. She bitched about the bathroom facing the bed. I flipped out a little when I couldn’t get the internet to connect. We ordered Skip the Dishes and got the evil eye from the concierge, who was fully aware that we were there to violate new provincial pandemic restrictions. C’est la vie.

December - Fred again.. - Julia (Deep Diving)

As I’ve said many, many times, I’m not a fan of Christmas. I used to love it, right up until my mid-20s. Why would I not? I was an only child. It was all about me. I received extravagant gifts at Christmas, got days and days of time off, got to get drunk with my friends, hang out with my mom, watch movies. The thing they don’t tell you is that once you’re no longer a cute kid, Christmas takes on a dramatically different meaning. As an adult, there’s always someone coming around to heap extra work on you at Christmas, and insist that you perform it while wearing a stupid fucking sweater or a hat, and demand that you like it.

This year gave others a taste of my baseline experience of Christmas. Work parties conducted through Zoom, wherein tedious and impersonal games are played through apps, leave bad tastes in everyone’s mouths. It’s all very Ready Player One. The dystopia is fully here. But you have to do something.

In December I let myself become more sentimental. I had an emotional conversation with my mother in which I talked about her relationship to memory and mine, which mirrors Proust’s. I’m in therapy and developing strategies to deal with my seasonal depression and get back to making art while still working. Fred again’s releases this year all feature spoken excerpts from conversations he’s had with his friends in virtual venues. “I’m deep diving into your emotions,” Julia says from afar, maintaining and developing a connection to someone she loves despite many obstacles. I’m depressed. I’ve been a crappy friend this month, I’ve left conversations on read, my sex drive is in the toilet and I’d prefer to be invisible. But I want to connect with you as best I can, in the limited capacity we’re afforded.

2020 - The 1975 - I Think There’s Something You Should Know

One of the things I love about The 1975 is that their music is iterative, their songs follow plot threads that advance from album to album. On “Robbers,” the narrator, deep in infatuation, describes his lover as having a face straight out of a magazine. One album later the luster has worn off of the love object, and the face straight out of a magazine now just looks like anyone.

“I Think There’s Something You Should Know” is described by Matty Healy as a direct sequel to their most famous song, “Somebody Else”. “Somebody Else” is emo R&B, it’s about addiction and identity, and about the ways in which one’s personality can come to be distorted by devotion to a substance or a person, and how one finds their way back to themselves once the drugs don’t work, or the perfect lover has become someone you hope to never see again.

“I Think There’s Something You Should Know” builds on that theme, but this time, the conflict isn’t about a person or a drug. It’s the feeling of idealized performance versus lived reality, the dissonance that one feels in the middle of impostor syndrome. When I listened to this song on our acid trip in May, I pictured an idealized version of myself in a camel coat and a cashmere sweater, with new leather gloves and a clean black car. The song feels like good cologne in the way it envelopes and embraces the listener. It seems to be able to tell the future. The paradox, then, is that it’s all about self-doubt. “I don’t feel like myself, I’m not gonna lie,” Matty sings, fully aware that he’s forgotten what feeling like himself even is. The song’s narrator is someone who is functioning at the absolute top of their game while being completely sure that they have no business being where they are.

The year has been a paradox, and it’s left me in a position reflected perfectly in these lyrics. In some ways I’m incredibly competent, in some ways I’ve moved past mental health issues that have set me back for years. But I’m emotional, raw, exhausted. Social media and COVID have given me ADHD, I can’t keep a thought in my head. I have no idea if the people I’m talking to think I’m right on the money, or completely full of shit. And yet, somehow, I am where I am, and the police haven’t arrived to cart me off to jail. My boss blows endless smoke up my ass when before I was terrified of her. I do what I say I’m going to do. I ask the right questions. I think there’s something you should know, and that’s that I think I’m wrong about most things. That I think people are worth our effort and that communities are worth building, but that individuals have the potential to do reprehensible, incomprehensible and unforgivable things. I’m beside myself with relief that this year is over, but I highly, highly doubt that next year is going to be some great leap forward. We have a lot of work to do, and I’ll help to the best of my abilities, but I need to be allowed to be alone, to decompress, to self-destruct as a form of recreation, and to create things. This year has traumatized me and all of us, and my post-pandemic brain is one that’s responding to trauma. In some ways, I’m dramatically better, and better off. In other ways, I’m sicker than I was. This is true of you too. Let’s talk about it.

My favourite albums of the year:

The 1975 - Notes on a Conditional Form

Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

Pole - Fading

Ana Roxanne - Because of a Flower

Teen Daze - Reality Refresh series

Sparkle Division - To Feel Embraced

Jake Muir - the veiled hum of your voice

Moodymann - Taken Away

The Mountain Goats - Getting Into Knives

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith - The Mosaic of Transformation

Sevdaliza - Shabrang

DJ Boring - Like Water

Actress - Karma and Desire

Avalon Emerson - DJ-Kicks

DaBaby - Blame It On Baby

Duval Timothy - Help

Velocette - Discotheque Saudades

Jex Opolis - Net Worth Pantha du Prince - Conference of Trees

Four Tet - Sixteen Oceans

Caribou - Suddenly

Megan Thee Stallion - Good Newz

Romeo Poirier - Hotel Nota

Southern Shores - Siena

The Weeknd - After Hours

Tensnake - L.A.

Kylie Minogue - DISCO

The Avalanches - We Will Always Love You

Nonlocal Forecast - Holographic Universe(s?)!

My favourite songs of the year:

Love Regenerator - Moving, Rina Sawayama - Comme des Garcons, Rina Sawayama - Lucid, Megan Thee Stallion - Savage (Diplo Remix), Phony Ppl ft. Megan Thee Stallion - Fkn Around, SG Lewis ft. Robyn & Channel Tres - Impact, The Midnight - Neon Medusa, Dua Lipa - Break My Heart (Moodymann Remix), Dua Lipa - Hallucinate (Tensnake Remix), Blue Hawaii - Feelin’, Tensnake - Strange Without You (Sunnery James & Ryan Marciano Remix), Disclosure ft. Mick Jenkins - Who Knew? (DJ Seinfeld Remix), A-Trak & Ferreck Dawn - Coming Home, Robyn - Baby Forgive Me (Floorplan Remix), Robots With Rayguns - IWD4U, Southern Shores - Estrisa, Lindstrom & Prins Thomas - Limousine Lies, Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Crying At the Discotheque, Hot Chip ft. Jarvis Cocker - Straight to the Morning, Bonobo & Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs - Heartbreak, Moodymann - Do Wrong, BT & Matt Fax - 1AM in Paris, Kiesza - Love Me With Your Lie, Tritonal ft. Linney - Electric Kids, Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure?, Roisin Murphy - Murphy’s Law, Kllo - Somehow, DaBaby - Rockstar, Diplo, SIDEPIECE - On My Mind, City Girls - Jobs, Greg Foat - Yonaguni, HAIM - I Know Alone, Sassy 009 - Ghost Town, Yves Tumor - Limerence, RAMZi - couer dodo, Jayda G - Both of Us, Kygo, Valerie Broussard - The Truth, Kelly Lee Owens - Night, Dagny - Somebody, L’tric - 1994, The Japanese House - Chewing Cotton Wool, Amtrac ft. Lali Puna - No Place, Eris Drew - Transcendental Access Point, David Guetta ft. Sia - Let’s Love, Armand Van Helden ft. Lorne - Give Me Your Loving, Pet Shop Boys - Monkey Business, Pale Blue - I Walk Alone At Night, Yumi Zouma - Cool For a Second

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andyelson · 7 years ago

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Of all- Chap 7

Chapter 7//WC:11,042

“This menu, doesn’t even look satisfying, I think lets do the shrimp and taco buffet” Joe, what do you think? As Addison walked, in from the balcony Joe was flipping through channels on the t.v. his hair was in one of his buns his eyes were pierce blue and he just had a casual white V neck T-Shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. He smiled up at her in her black sundress, that matched her golden tan with her nails painted a sharp black, no matter what she wore she looked good, no matter what she packed or didn’t. “ Yah Yah baby whatever you want. I think, the shrimp and taco thing ding sounds great, after that a walk on the beach sound appealing to you”? She nodded as she got, her clutch she freshened up and they went to dinner. As they finished dinner, they walked to the pier and sat on the dock, and watched the waves crash, as the sun was setting and darkness started to show itself, Addison rested her head on Joe’s shoulder as she listened to his soft breaths, she felt more at ease than she ever did. “ what are you thinking about Joe?” Addison said, Joe smiled and looked out as the sun was setting deeper in the sea “ I really don’t know what I’m thinking, about I’m thinking about how great this vacation is, how I can’t wait to take you back to the room, how blessed I am to hopefully come back to my career in wrestling, how you can go back to nursing and we can be successful in our careers.” She agreed, as she mentioned how she missed the hospital and being on the constant run and helping thousands, -- she paused as he interrupted her “ You uh? Still want to do this uh thing with me? Addison? You know when vacation is over, the big dog has to go back. Rollins can’t do everything without me, hes like a dog he has to follow me, god knows who hes bugging since I’m gone. Addison laughed, as she knew exactly what he was talking about.

As they came back to their room they decided to, order desert and order a movie. As Addison was going through her bag, she stopped Joe from ordering a 49 dollar movie and insisted she use her firestick, “ please, Joe lets save our bank account from this hassle, and just use this”. He laughed a puzzling confused laugh, it’s a firestick Joe, get your mind out of whatever gutter it’s in Addison said as she browsed through movies, she decided she would let him choose she needed to get a few calls in to the hospital and work out some details from some emails she had received, how about “IT” Joe said with a smirk, Addison laughed and said Sure If you want to never see me again, and I will cancel all your medical exams under my care and I’ll make sure you don’t come back in the allotted time that you want he laughed and said great we’ll choose the shack then here we go, it’s loading. They nuzzled up together, as Addison, turned her phone off and threw it in the chair, she grabbed Joe’s arm as she began to run her finger, up and down his arm Joe laid comfortably well to him anyway with his leg hanging off, and addi in the back of him he then reached for her shoulder beginning to playfully adjust her bra strap, trying to remove it, Addison quietly started to smile, Love the color Joe said as Addison arched her back she untied her hair and took her extensions out she playfully situated herself back into her spot letting him know what she really wanted, he didn’t get the message, as he shook his head he turned to face the t.v. that left Addison sitting up right with her knees to her chest, she continued to watch the movie, joe began to drift off as he normally did in any certain circumstance with a movie he was forcing himself to follow. Addison grabbed her firestick remote, turned her spotify music player on turned the lights off with her alexa light remote and snuggled herself stretching out on the couch Joe still in front whenever they layed on the couch at times, he was always the big spoon so she could fit easier around his arms, and she could always move in closer even if she was as close as she could be, still that closeness is what she longed for as did he. Sometimes too when Addison would turn over the scent of Joe and his hair and his body would be all she needed to feel secure. She messed around with the spotify playlists finding the 90s and her personal boy band persona list as soon as she clicked the two, a soft laugh came from Joe as he held her close, as the song from 98 degrees began to play “ touching me, like the sun here and now I give my love so faithfully, that I will always be the one, I wanna stay with you tonight, I don’t wanna leave, cause I feel the time is right.” Joe began singing into her ear the rest of the lyrics, often biting at her neck and ear as he softly spoke the words, Joe knew the words pretty good, to much dismay not because of Addison, but because of his sister she was hooked to every boy band that would pop up and enter the Anoai’ house It drove Joe nuts because he would have to be introduced to FIVE BAD BOYS Wit da power to rock you blowin ya mind so ya gotta get into…. To the BYE BYE BYE boys as he called Nsync* and the Liquid of his sisters dream yes Joe was a shit to his sister but he was dragged along into this as he called horrendous taste. Apon meeting Addison he thought he escaped the “ fandom” but with her it all changed, and he actually appreciated the meaning of stay the night, and the song god must of spent a little more time on you, and I do cherish you. As the next song from train, came on marry me Joe, grabbed Addison tighter and began singing words to her, “ Marry me, today and everyday, Marry me, if I ever get the nerve to say “ Hello” in this café, say you will. Mm-Hmm… his voice trailed off into more lyrics from the song, as Addison smiled, she wasn’t sure if this was how he was going to do the big event as she looked more into his eyes he smiled at her, as she was trying to find answers that she wasn’t getting, she rolled closer to him and fell asleep. Joe was laying looking up at the ceiling, thinking of how and when and where about a million times over to finally purpose to Addison he soon drifted off to sleep for whatever it was worth he wasn’t going to sleep.

Next Morning in Turks & Caicos

Addison, was first up. It was 8:30 sunny & 85 degrees. Back home it was 8:30 and 85 degrees wasn’t even a thing until noon. She was so excited it was early morning and the sun was shining, Joe was in the bed somewhere in the night, he went in the bedroom, he was sprawled out with his hand over his face and his other hand resting on his stomach. She couldn’t resist but taking a photo of him, she put her red bikini on, and left him a note saying she would be down by the ocean the note read as follows Good morning baby, I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m down on the ocean side see you when you wake up. Xx doc. She laughed at the name “ doc” she was a nurse, she wasn’t a doctor, she couldn’t see herself in school more than 9 years to become a doctor, so she settled for nursing. As she was laying in her chair, she decided to take her top off and bare all, a bit the sun basked in her body as she sprayed more tanning lotion on she checked her phone and noticed it was 9:30 she saw a bartender as he was setting chairs out and towels, she flagged him down, and ordered a mudslide, in no time did she have her drink and by the next time the bartender came back she was on her 3rd, it was getting close to eleven as she looked at her phone, she noticed joe still had not come down, she texted him “ baby you up”? she hit sent, as he replied yeah yeah I’m coming, save me a chair baby. She smiled as she already saved him a seat it was close to 90 degrees, she soon drifted off to a quick nap, something about the breeze and the ocean air just felt right at home to her. As soon as she just got into a comfortable sleep he arrived wearing sunglasses his dark black swim trunks, and his hair in a bun he looked so sleepy but a beautiful sleepy the kind you want to make love to. He smiled, as he approached his chair, “ baby are you naked” he said as she laughed and said just the top part of me is as she rolled over to reveal herself he instantly licked his lips, he flagged the bartender down and ordered himself a budlight as the bartender took the order he soon left baby, lets go out in the ocean for a minute.. want to? He asked, as she shook her head no, he muffled something under his breathe, he did bring the ring down with him he was terrified of where to do it or how to do it and he thought about the ocean just talking to her whispering soft words in her ear walking out there, into the deep part holding her, etc and she shot him down with a no. he dipped his chair back and stared off into space, thinking to himself well this was a bad idea to bring the ring he thought, he was quiet most of the morning and into the afternoon, He didn’t know what to do didn’t even know when to ask her, or even if he should here. He soon felt a few tears form from his eyes as he laughed at himself, he quickly put his hands to his face, and began wiping the tears. Addison looked over at him and asked him if he was alright, he nodded that he was, he got up and left his sunglasses on his towel and took the box out and began walking down towards the ocean he thought to himself “ should I just throw this away, should I just take it back to the room with me and put it away shes not ready for what I thought she was*” So he thought anyway, he turned around and there she was walking towards him as he jumped every single gun that shot fire in and around him he thought you do this now, or its done your done and might as well say goodbye. His entire body was limp his breathe was as shallow as he was hoping the water was, he swallowed about thirty nine million times, as she came closer to him he knelt down shaking he didn’t know if he was dying or if he was having a heart attack, he mouthed the words to himself a few times over and over as she stood there looking at him, puzzled as hell “ Addison I. these past few months, and from the very first time I met you I know I already said it all, but I knew you were the one there’s something about you that just has held me to know that you were the one that fit my family. You we’re the one that I needed all along I can’t make it without you in this world, I’m not going to try because I’ll fail, and then I’ll be single and miserable and without you by my side, I wanna do life with you I want more kids, I want to grow old with you and when we retire we go away for the rest of our lives, she smiled as tears were rolling beyond belief in her eyes she grabbed his face, and kissed him deep as deep as she could, she nodded as she began to cry, are you nodding yes he said as he smiled, Will you marry me then Addison as she nodded her head about a million times her eyes were covered in tears, as he slipped the ring on her finger his hands were shaking as she was picked up she wrapped her legs around her new fiancé’s waist. She finally mustered up the words YES I’ll marry you Leati Yes. As he smiled and kissed her again, She looked down at her ring and was so astonished by it, You like it? Its ok right You like it? He must of asked that a million times she smiled at him and softly spoke I love it because It came from you. And you could of gave me, a ring pop and I’d wear it on the daily. I love you Joe and yes I love it I love it because I love you. As they walked around, the resort they couldn’t get enough, Addison couldn’t get enough of looking down at her ring finger, and looking at him catching glances, that he would look at her too.

TurksNightlifestyle.

They decided to go back to their room to get freshened for dinner. I am engaged. We’re engaged I’m getting married. I’m going to be a wife. Addison couldn’t believe what was happening. She didn’t know what she was going to say to her family, she had no idea who even knew or if they didn’t. She started to get dressed she was rummaging through her dresses, Joe I don’t know what to wear tonight what do you want me to wear baby as he came in the room, he was wearing his black dress pants he smiled as she was staring at herself in the mirror in her black bra and black undies, he laughed and said want your fiancé to be serious with you? She laughed a nervous laugh and said I uh guess he laughed and said one sec baby her hands followed to her waist as she stood puzzled he came back with minutes later with a small black dress he showed it to her as she looked puzzled That’s mine? I don’t remember packing it joe she took the dress and held it up to her body as joe came around her his hands went around her waist and held her swaying his body back and forth as she looked at the dress and looked at herself in the mirror, she smiled and said she would wear it as she scooted underneath away from him she finished getting ready, as she braided her hair, she and joe were ready as they went to the lobby to wait for the cab to take the rest of the people waiting, they could figure out they were newly engaged many of them, congratulated them another couple who were married a year we’re celebrating their one year anniversary, as the bus arrived they allowed Joe and Addison on first as the rest got on afterwards Joe and Addison decided to go to a steakhouse for dinner, they had a great dinner and decided to take a later bus back to the hotel they decided to go a place called Magnoila wine bar for some drinks, We gotta make calls, back home, I think to let them know you know what I mean Joe said as he sipped his Heineken Addison smiled and said, you think we can wait? e and let us enjoy the moment before we get bombarded with calls and messages he nodded as he agreed with her, as Addison drank a few glasses of wine Joe had a few margaritas and had a stella rois along with some other drinks they were buzzed at this point, as joe looked at Addison, We better head back, I’m thinking we need some alone time here as fiancé ‘s catch my drift do I dare say doc? She smiled a little drunk smile, along with a laugh he knew she was getting tipsy, Joe flagged the bartender down and closed out their tab, as they walked out it was perfect timing the bus was just coming back to its stop, Joe and Addison walked to the bus stop, and got on as they sat in the back of the bus, it wasn’t long until the bus closed it’s doors and they were headed back to the resort, Addison looked up and noticed they were the only ones on the bus, Joe turned addisons face towards him with his finger, she turned with him, as he took a breathe he began kissing her before they both knew it they were deep into their kiss touching each other like high schoolers it seemed like they had a entire audience, when in reality It was them and a bus driver. Every time the bus stopped they would snicker, wondering if they would get caught as the bus driver finally spoke, “ Mam’m Sir your destination is on the left” Addison finally broke the kiss as Joe moaned as he put his finger in her mouth she began sucking him wishing he had his dick in her mouth, as the bus stopped Joe looked over and noticed they were at their resort Joe stood up as Addison fixed her dress and grabbed her things, she followed behind him as soon as he was out of the bus he picked Addison up over his shoulder, and gave her butt a tiny tap she squealed at the thought of his hand on her ass. “ BABY OUCH” they both laughed as he put her down she looked up at him as they both shared a smile to each other, YOUR so getting it tonight Joe, harder and deeper than you ever had in your life. He was stunned at what his fiancé said to him, Your kidding right? She was stern with her statement she walked towards the elevator as he followed her, they were once again alone without others around being that they were in the resort now Now what you just said down there, that I was going to get it harder and deeper… what uh were you gonna do? About uh you giving it to me deeper my mind better just stop before I get to far into thinking about this what you plan on doing though? He said as she smiled, she walked off the floor to the outside of their floor, and down to their room Joe looked puzzled at her as he followed her they both reached their door Joe held her hands above her, and pinned her against the door before reaching for the room key his breathe was left lingering on her neck, as his eyes crossed hers, he whispered so about that deeper and harder situation you have arising on us what about this throbbing ever so harden cock, are you going to get this too tonight? More importantly doc, you think you deserve this? You said you were going to give it to me harder and deeper, so what do you say we open this door, and start it like we do little one. Just so were clear though, I’m the one that’s going to fucking give it to you harder and deeper, I’m going to leave you completely breathless I hope you did all the walking, you wanted because you are never walking again. We clear on this? He looked at her as she simply nodded her head in agreement he wasted no time undressing himself as she was nervously undressing herself, GET ON THIS BED RIGHT NOW Joe was stern as if this was his first time being stern with her as Addison climbed on the bed, she watched him walk around the room back to one side back to the other she began to sit up on her knees just then she was pushed back into the pillows as he was, pulling the sheets back and pulling the covers over the two of them, Joe brought her on top of him, what do you want from me now Addison? She smiled and laughed as she pulled the blankets off, she got up and reached out for his hand, he took her hand, as she pulled him in the spacious living room she pushed him back towards the wall Pick me up Joe Addison said he shrugged himself off the wall as she came lunging towards him, he grabbed her and threw her on the wall as he threw her hands up on the wall holding her hands above her head he began nipping at her neck.

“J-J-J” was all she could muster up

You tryin to say something baby to me? Joe asked

“M – M – More baby please other side other side please other side”

“What you want, on that other side baby? What you need done to that other side of you baby”

“Your tongue your mouth baby please pleasure me” she said

He began slowly to touch her, he began slowly taking his tongue up and down only one side of her neck, stopping to massage it, often working both sides, he looked at her only once and knew he better keep going he began to move to each of her small breasts flicking his tongue across her nipple often biting JESUS Joseph yes please more, he asked her oh your liking that now? Are we liking that my fiancé she laughed at the name every time they mentioned “fiancé “ they both just giggled like school kids over the word yeah they could be drunk sure but to giggle over a word, that he and his ex never even mentioned you just knew they we’re meant to be.

Joe licked his finger, as he carefully opened Addison’s leg he slowly inserted his finger inside her slow at first as she began twisting and turning herself, would you please quit going slow when you do this joe I am used to you I am used to that finger and that hand just fucking plunge it in me, everytime you feel the need to finger me. He smiled up at her as he began inserting two this time, she closed her eyes tightly and wenced in a bit of agony at first but soon relaxed. She became lifeless to his touch almost breathless every time they had any intimate connection, ohhh these juices addison they’re flowing deeper than the first time joe said as her hips tried to make any kind of statement, any movement she tried to make his fingers would go deeper into her already over bearing swollen slit joe, please she was surprised she knew his name and could even speak he never answered her, his answer however was his dick he hovered over her the room became darker than it ever was Joe fumbled around with everything that was on the tables, joe what are you looking for? Addison asked as joe scanned back to addisons face got em sugar he had a bottle of oil addisons chest risen from a nerve of being handcuffed or taped he began rubbing the warm oil in his hands, and onto addisons breasts, making her instantly moan at his touch. Oh are we liking this my sweet thing? He smiled as he traveled south stopping at her tanned flat stomach, leaving kisses all over her stomach Addison laughed a small laugh, due to his stuble face I know I know, it’s a bit getting out of hand aye she shook her head no, as she was covered in oil from her breasts to her hips just about, his lips lingered onward to her open slit, breathing in her scent smelling the sweetness my god you smell so sweet like a fine wine almost she laughed as he began licking her most intimate spots slow at first, but like most times with him he gets ahead of himself, and goes for it which he did, making her lose control, I’m enjoying this I really am, Joe I am enjoying you being down there and all but you can’t leave out the best part the best part about you, Leati I am ready for you. We’re ready for the main event Joe popped his head up out of the intimate area that he was in, only to throw more lube into his hands and over his ever growing dick, with one look he threw his entire hips and body into her, she wrapped her arms around joe’s neck as her legs rested upon his they began just as they always did slow at first but gained speed throughout the night, his hand found her throat somehow somewhere in the night, as he began lightly putting pressure as she seemed to enjoy the tease from his cock and his hand on her throat, she felt captivated more and more with each push, from himself, he then abrupted, he halted and went back with his mouth slowly at first, licking up and down her wet slit she had no choice but to lift her hips up and down to him, as his tongue stayed as still, as he allowed it she began moving her hips in unison, a few hip buckings to his tongue lashing he loved trying new things to her, things that when shes laying in bed he watches on the occasional porn channel he often, fantasizes on what it would feel like, and what she would say to it. This one was definitely a favorite, him having control made him feel powerful. Joe Joe, pl- pl pl- she couldn’t even speak she thought to whomever she was in the part of all this, I’m seriously going to come, you you wanna finish me this way? She couldn’t believe she was that close to having another powerful orgasm she didn’t want it, she fought it for awhile, but she began to lose as he figured out what was happening he patted her wet slit just enough to send her over the edge, as he slapped her slit one last time, it was all she needed, her eyes went to a new destination, and her body just went all out she was completely breathless, you ask her if she remembers this at all she’d simply smile, and wonder for herself.

Into the night/Morning.

They both obviously fell asleep. Somehow someway, sometime in the night, It was 3am is all Joe saw when his one eye awoke, the t.v. was left on somehow they watched something, he wasn’t sure what though but he quickly turned it off, noticed she was beautifully fast asleep, as she layed with her left arm, above her head and her right laying on the side of the bed, her beautifully tanned skin with her diamond navel ring, he wanted so bad to wake her up again and just start all over again. He however knew he was so tired that he couldn’t even move. He quickly drifted off back to sleep he found himself with his hand over her midsection he drifted off to sleep.

He was surprised he was still sleeping when he did wake up, the clock read 11:15am he rolled over to an empty bed, he was only covered with the sheet, as he stretched out, he came across a piece of paper, that read at the beach baby come join me when you wake up, I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up. Your always so damn peaceful, and sexy, I just hate waking you up. But hurry up, I wanna enjoy the beach with you. – Yours. He laughed at the letter, as he ran his hand over his face, he quickly however, jumped out of bed, naked showing all his glory to the world, he stumbled to the bathroom, rummaging through his bags, he had no idea where anything was, he got to the bathroom as he panicked over nothing she had everything set out that he would need. However his sunglasses were missing and so was his hair gel, jesus shit, where the fucking god did I put it, okay Joe calm down, just calm down, however he couldn’t calm down he quickly went through his bags, and found his sunglasses, he threw his hair in a messy bun, as he always had it done and went and joined Addison at the beach whom was on her third margarita, and enjoying the sun Hi mam’m mind if I join my fiancé? He said as he moved his chair closer to her, she looked up at him, smiled and said morning fiancé, I see you found my note I ordered you a mudslide and a breakfast omelet. He smiled and kissed her soft lips, he sat down, and adjusted his chair he took a sip out of her margarita, and leaned back to enjoy the sun that was beating his face. Soon Joe’s food was being sat on the nearby table, for him, as he began to eat Addison had already ate, a blueberry muffin, and a piece of toast she was watching joe eat he ate like he never ate a damn thing in his life, the omelet was filled with ham bacon and onions Joe looked over as Addison watched, was this half for you babe? He asked as Addison watched as her eyes grew big he never stopped eating until there was a small portion for what looked like for the birds, she laughed and shook her head no, he then scarfed the last small portion into his mouth, as he chewed the last bite he took a drink of his drink and washed it down with his orange juice, soon after a huge EGHHHHHHHHHHBUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR came roaring from somewhere in Joe’s mouth Addison laughed she held her flat stomach holding in all the laughter she had JOE what do you say baby? She covered her mouth as more laughter came pouring out, he smiled as he wiped his mouth his scruff and beard was in a way covered with egg and hot sauce, as he wiped it away he smiled, and said damn good breakfast, but excuse me for that disgusting foul. She laughed and nodded, glad I could feed you what seemed to be your first meal babe.. he laughed as he adjusted his chair, he put his sunglasses back on as he threw his arms over his head he was soon drifted off to sleep.

Addison began looking on Pinterest, for wedding ideas her dream wedding board had over a million ideas, as she began drifting into her board, and back at her ring she couldn’t believe she was planning a wedding to this man. She didn’t know what she wanted, she didn’t know who to invite, she looked at a checklist, there was one in particular, called splitting the check list she knew she wanted to include Galina. Addison thought it was mature, to do so. She was the mother of Joelle, Joe and Galina’s daughter she just wasn’t going to let not including her go by the waste side, Joe was still asleep, as Addison texted her best friend Trinity she was known to the company as trinity, and Trinity knew what it was like being like how Addison was feeling, GIRL I miss everyone back at the hospital. GIRL I miss you the most. GIRL I’m sitting here on the beach having a breakdown over this wedding. Help your girl out before some arab nurse comes flying in.. she hit sent as Joe started to wake up, Hi fiancé.. he managed to get out, she smiled and graced his face, he kissed her hand as he began to lick and suck her fingers she pulled away JOE. Not here, common now get a hold of yourself, I’m texting trinity she thinks we fell in the ocean or something.. he laughed, you want to fall in a land of sharks and reptiles? He said she shook her head No. as her phone pinged it was Trinity, Girlllllllllllll why you texting me. Shouldn’t you be 50 shades of not moving and having a shock collar on you around your neck with Joe. To busy to even speak to one of us nurses. And why aren’t you having beach sex? Girl do I need to have a little chat with him? HA but no in all boring sense here what you need girl? Addison sent a sigh emoji, and took a breathe Really, thinking of asking Galina to be apart of the wedding. I don’t know I heard she does the affiliation with the venues around Miami and Pensacola and Tampa. I just thought she would know what and where and how to work this. She hit sent as she waited for trinity to respond the three little dots were shown, and then removed and then back again, and then removed and then went like rapid fire as trinity was writing what seemed to be vows the ceremony, the afterparty and the honeymoon all in one, finally she hit the send button as she wrote I think putting Galina in the centerfold of you and Joe’s day is a lot of things, number one she would have to be A) present for the wedding, the pictures, the rehearsal she would be there every step of the way girl. B) It would make Joelle have thoughts Mommy is at daddys wedding etc, C) Talk to Joe about it. I just don’t know what to do. Yes having her help would be good because Joe knows her and your not dealing with a stranger, but for her to help her ex’s wedding. I’m not sure what to say. Trinity hit sent as Addison nodded as she read what trinity said, Addison shot trinity a smile emoji with a heart hit sent and turned her phone off Addison got up and walked out into the water as she dove in the ocean, she felt gods presence in through the water she floated around for a bit, as joe walked out to the ocean, she looked as joe was standing in the water, Addison spoke, You know I shouldn’t be this nervous Joe. I shouldn’t be having cold feet… He cut her off, then get out of the water, the sun is still shinin… she cut him back off, No Joe about the wedding, we have to have a wedding planner, WW she was caught off once again, Joe began I uh was just thinking of that the other night, baby I was thinking of asking Galina, I heard she was dating a guy that she knew from college that we both knew his name is Sebastian Dudley I uh was going to call her when we got back to see if she knew what to do about venues and all that. Addison looked at him, she couldn’t even muster up a single word all she could do was wrap her self in his arms she looked foolish as hell, but she mustered up the words You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. He smiled and nodded, as they frolicked around the ocean they went back to their chairs, as Addison untied her top joe’s eyes were fixated on her at all times as she let her top fall she tossed it in her bag, he did the cross to himself as he mouthed In the name of the father, the sun the holy spirit Amen he gave a kiss, to the sky as a blessing she looked this beautiful, she smiled at him, Like what you see joe? It’s just breasts, she snickered as she lifted her hands above her head and layed in basking the glory of the heat blazing, her breasts and chest area. He shrugged his shoulders, as he positioned himself he felt something in his shorts, the urge the twisting urge he twisted himself around a bit, he threw his sun glasses up on his head looked around, like he was to the point of not even caring who watched or who came around if anyone had to ask, he would tell them the bulge in my shorts made me do it. He positioned himself on top, Addison’s eyes shot up at him, with one or maybe two try’s he had her naked.

Baby what are you doing? She asked Shhhhh just Shhhh, follow my lead. He layed her down on the sand, and began giving her breasts attention, they were sore and already sunburnt so his tongue lavishing around her nipple wasn’t the best feeling in the world because of the burnt areas. As he made his way down, to his favorite southern regions he stopped at her tanned built toned stomach, and began kissing and licking around going back and forth between both breasts and chest all the way down to her stomach, he often looked up at her to see her not even looking at him, her eyes were closed enjoying every move of his lips, going from one side of her inside of her leg to the center of all holy land to him. He inhaled her smell, with just one inhale, she felt scruff and heard the very first wave crash against her which she wasn’t near the ocean but he was her ocean, and she was near it. He wasted no time, with anything his mouth was covered all around her slit, licking teasing, often biting at her inner wall, she moaned, tried her best to fight his hands that were holding her ass in place while he was in place. Soon however, so soon she heard a wave crash bigger than before as she opened her eyes looked out into the ocean the ocean was as calm as a newborn sleeping what she heard what she saw and what she felt was definitely his already harden cock being slammed into her slit a few small thrusts were made but his pace grew within the minutes and seconds that he had however she had other plans, LET ME RIDE Leati she yelled at him as she got up, she sat right back down quickly on his dick slow at first she faced the ocean, as he layed back he felt, so good to see her finally take charge in what she wanted their first time together, was everything on him to fast forwarding to this moment she has all this confidence to have him. There was something, that made her body have a different side affect in all of this she didn’t know what it was, but she felt a bit more intimate, she reached back for Joe’s hands as they were grabbed she placed his hands on her breasts, I thought you didn’t want me touching you Addison aye.. you need me to touch you now? He asked she moaned at his touch, with each grab of her nipple the sensation drove her, to slam harder, ride harder on his dick. Hows that for your touching? Because if you slam your waist down on me one more time I swear its gonna be……. His voice trailed off into the ocean, probably in a wave somewhere being swept out even farther. The faster she went the more, he cussed, he let go of one of her hands, as she was thankful for it, she licked her finger and began fingering herself, all while, he was still trying to comprehend how his dick was even being used inside her, just then she slipped out she went down to her stomach, her hands went in the sand gripping into the wet sand she soon felt pressure leaning into her ass that was built on muscle, she worked out a lot, had to in a way to keep up with him, he loved a good ass and long legs, what guy didn’t? she hadn’t met one yet, and wasn’t sure if she ever would she continued to feel pressure teasing her ass, with a few tease pumps he was fully into her none of the slow hits, with slow hits of her ass, he went deep hard and fast. Within minutes she knew she was meeting either ecstasy, or her orgasm she was hoping it was a 2 for 1 meeting. Within a few moans, she was panting waiting for joe to finish his load as he did they both laid in silence within minutes there came their worst thought ever 4 fans walked by the spot. They had no blankets they had no shelter Joe threw his hand over her breasts, and threw his leg over her “ spot”. She laughed and said So now I’m covered, but your just all out there for them aye this is how you cover your girl? He laughed and brought her on top of him. Oh this better for you? She shook her head as she whispered, I could easily let you go and put that dick of yours into my slit again. They opted out, and stayed silent.

They watched the sun slowly come to its final resting place, as the sun finally went to its resting place, Joe propped himself up on the sand, with his elbow as he carefully watched Addison’s chest rise, he was careful to start the whole process over again, with each chest rise from her, he was finding himself looking away so he didn’t have to have that pressure to just go for another round. However silence, was broken when Addison sat up pulling her knees to her chest, she reached out for his shoulder, what are you looking at over there? She asked him, he looked back at her Honestly Addison? She nodded with a smile, he sighed as she felt a nerve tick inside her, he however began I’m thinking of matt, I’m thinking of my grandparents, I’m thinking of Joelle, I’m thinking of how were going to start planning our wedding, I’m not going to have my brother at my wedding she nodded she knew what he was going through she lost numerous family members, she knew what he was going through, and she wanted to make their day perfect, it just wasn’t going to be about her it was going to be about him too. Thinking about having Galina even back in the picture, in a way Addison was nervous, she was nervous of everything that she mustered up, I don’t know if I wanna get married Joe. I don’t know what I want to do I don’t as she began to cry he wiped her tears and hushed her, he began I want to to marry you. I want you in my life I want you to text me when your at the hospital in your 3 day 12 hour shift telling me you want to just come home and lay in bed with me. I want to text you when I’m in day 8 of not being home and your home, and you send me sexy nude pictures to get me through of being away. I want you to have my babies I want a home with you. She smiled as tears ran down her cheeks she kissed his lips and told him thank you for this vacation. I Just think Galina wants to help you. And help us, another way to think about it, we can save money well some that is. She nodded as it was dark by now he checked his phone, it was 8:00. What do you say we get cleaned up, and go to that 10:00 show, remember you wanted to see Cinderella Live, lets go see that do something you want to do. She smiled as they walked back to their room, he hopped in the shower, as she got undressed she came in the bathroom as he was standing in the shower, water dripping down his body she peeked in the bathroom, I’ll wait until your done babe, I’m just gonna….. her voice trailed off as he opened the curtain she was whisked in his arms as she stood naked in the shower, she basked in his glory she began to touch the water that was running down his body, his tattoo that covered the right side of his his arm and chest area she began tracing the outline of his chest with her tongue as he dipped his head back in the water his face was covered with water pelting his face. I’ve always loved I mean I’ve always thought this tattoo was my favorite piece on you. She mustered up, she leaned in as her head hit his chest they both finished their shower taking turns washing each other. The water was turned off as they both pulled back the shower curtain, Joe stopped to pause he looked at each themselves in the mirror, she reached for her towel, he batted her hand away from, the hanging towel near by he began nipping at her neck, this is starting to remind me of us being in here when, you fucked me, by me watching you in the mirror. He said she smiled as she leaned herself back, he began touching her breasts, skimming the outer edges he then began, lightly running his thumbs over her nipples one touch, just one touch she moaned okay ok ok stop Joe stop or else were never going to go to dinner, I’m hungry let me get dressed you need to get dressed as well… her voice trailed off as she put her strapless black bra on that was covering just where joe was touching, she wore her black tube top dress something different, actually it was Stephanie McMahon’s she borrowed it from her before the trip, she came out of the room as joe was dressed in black pants and a t-shirt he wore a gold chain with his hair down. She was awestruck with his hair, I can’t believe your wearing your hair down I love this. She patted his chest he laughed as he gave her a kiss on her freshly blonde streaked hair. They decided to walk to the venue a as oppose to driving hailing a cab etc.

Dinner/nightout.

They arrived at the venue, and noticed they had a bar inside the venue, they were a bit early for the show so they grabbed a couple drinks and looked over the menu, they ordered potato skins and each a side salad as they made small talk you’d think they were out on their first date. Many complimented Addison’s dress and jewelry as she thanked many, their drinks and food came as they ate they noticed the time was coming for the show to start they reordered their drinks and made their way into the theater, the theater was decorated with Cinderella’s castle the lighting was a mist blue with a gorgeous ambience of yellow lights shining in the middle of the castle, with a pale dust pink moon towards the right of the stage, I so believe Joelle would totally dig this. Joe said as Addison nodded the show began to start as Cinderella came out on stage she began cleaning and moping the castle as the castle opened the doors the three step sisters Anastasia, and Drizella came barking orders Cinderella soon became discouraged and began to cry at how horrible they were treating her. She however quickly gained confidence, and became this strong powerful character whom began to spark interest in going to a midnight ball. The two sisters walked off as Cinderella began to sing the famous song, Sing Sweet Nightingale she became to transform into this beautiful princess whom was soon visiting the prince. The prince soon swept Cinderella off her feet not paying no mind to Anastasia, and Drizella Cinderella and the prince frolicked around the castle and soon shared their first kiss. Joe caught glimpses of Addison totally into the whole product of what was going on, he leaned in, and softly kissed her ear as the show was coming to a close addison’s favorite happened the sidekicks came out, Gus first and Jaq second, they sang a few songs and the show came to a close. As they walked out, they got to meet Cinderella, Anastasia, and Drizella, as Joe wanted to get their photographs that he had bought earlier, for Joelle, he asked each girl to sign them for his daughter as they were happy to do so. They asked where Joelle was, he sighed as he hung his head in disappoint, shes home myself and my fiancé are here on a vacation we’re planning our wedding etc. They sent their well wishes to them as Joe took a few photos, etc they soon left and headed to their hotel.

It was getting late, as Addison wanted to break open the wine and have a glass, and sit in the hot tub She started, getting out of her dress she went and tried to find, her bikini but she shrugged her shoulders as she undid her shoes she left her dress her thong and her strapless bra in a pile in the bathroom, came out and stood in front of Joe whom was laying in bed MY GOD Cinderella, looks hotter than the one we just saw. She laughed and held her hand out for joe to follow her he quickly undressed himself as he then was naked, he quickly grabbed the two robes, handing one to Addison and quickly throwing his on, I’d much rather just walk naked down to the hot tub, think about it if I couldn’t make it to the hot tub and just wanted to take you right here by this wall, well we would already be ahead of the game, aye? She shrug her head at the thought of being in a hotel suite in a resort outside on a wall having sex, He noticed people in the hot tub, he sighed at his competition knowing he wasn’t going to be able be in there he opted for the resort sauna, common baby I got another idea, follow me she interrupted but but I th-thought as he opened the door, he motioned for her to go in, as he closed the door behind them he locked the door as he climbed up on the second tier of the sauna, he layed his bath robe out on the top as he motioned for her to join him she knew exactly what was going down, and she was in love with his improvising.

He sat stretching himself out on one side, with his leg on the bottom tier as she positioned herself in the middle of him wasting no time , she began licking, teasing his cock often massaging his balls, licking teasing his shaft, with one swift grab she had her mouth positioned on his dick, sucking licking more noise came from him than the sauna walls. As soon as she felt his hands, go for her braids it was more for gripping the pressure, than his hands fighting her hair that was in braids. A couple more licks and soft bites from her mouth he pushed her carefully down on the towel and robe, he wasted no time sticking his fingers inside her already positioned wet cunt a few strokes of his finger inside her he switched it up however, and inserted two fingers with two fingers she came hard not even a minute with two fingers her body just fell apart he quickly let his fingers drop out of her, and slammed his cock in her the sex was slow, but for some reason something came over her and him both, between the strokes and the pressure rapidly like fire he became fast often slowing down but picking up speed. His cock felt drunk about a million times, often slipping out but welcoming himself right back into his home. He however made her stand facing the wall positioning her hands on the seat her ass spread a part he began pounding into her he managed to find her slit with his hands as he felt her coming close he slammed her waist into his pelvic area a few hundred times, with everything she had on the seat and walls, she gave in to this man and allowed herself to come, waves upon waves came crashing over her around her, near her and out of her, as she started to become more herself, she sat up right grabbing her robe throwing it over her, he however layed on his barely breathing, you uh wanna crack that door open let some air in here woman.. man I know sauna’s are hot but god damn I didn’t know you made it hotter. He smiled at her as she hopped down from her spot, unlocked the door and opened the door, she motioned to him for him to follow her, His eyes narrowed to her, I followed you Joe, now its time you follow me sweet boy, can you make it can you walk? He quickly got up eased himself off the wooden spot that his ass was already imprinted into, he looked back at the mess that they had left Addi shouldn’t we clean this up? I mean look what a mess we made or err you made. She looked back at him, as he threw his hands up in the air, she walked back in as she found her lips on his, the kiss was so good she thought to herself ** this god damn guy got me again** as she broke the kiss, she backed away from, him unlocked the door, and walked out with joe slowly following, as she was walking, she noticed the pool was empty, she began to slowly walk towards the chairs as joe soon followed he had no idea where she was going, or what she was doing, we uh gonna go to our room? Babe…. He asked puzzled, as to why she was going near the chair she stopped turned around, and began undressing his eyes went widened as he checked his phone, it was 12:10 AM, he turned his phone back off and set the volume to vibrate he chuckled to himself as he clicked to accept that his phone was going on vibrate, he threw his phone on the table nearby as he watched Addison seductively take off her robe as she threw it in his direction, he too took his off as she dove in the water, the water was cold, she let out a soft scream to the water touching her, I don’t know why you screamed you dove in like its broad day light and 90 degrees, it’s like 73 degrees and its pitch ass black out here. As he dove in the deep end, she swam around, towards him as he came closer to her she hated the deep end because she could never touch. He met her in the middle and grabbed her close as she wrapped her legs around his mid section they floated towards the deep end, as she knew she couldn’t touch she screamed, started to panic wiggle her way out of his touch as she was free she began to panic, JOE JOE I can’t Joe I can’t Joe I can’t touch I can’t move Joe I can’t move Joe help me Joe help me, Joe please…. He quickly went after her, grabbed her and swam with her to the shallow as she quickly hoped out of the pool she grabbed her robe, and sat in the chair at the table crossing her leg, she quickly looked away not looking at him You wanna tell me what happened in there? As he handed her another towel to dry her hair, she grabbed the towel from him, she began to ring her hair out with the towel, making minimal eye contact with him. I just wanna go back to the room Joe, can we do that? He nodded as they went to their room.

ROOM.

She quickly got into the room, as she went to the bathroom, he followed her, in the bathroom, only to have the door shut on his face. He tried to open the door but it was locked, You gonna just lock yourself in this bathroom, Addison whats wrong? What happened? He tried to get in again, door still was locked he heard the shower start then the water turned off, she quickly put the bath bomb scents vanilla and vanilla sugar in as she climbed in the bathtub, she leaned back envisioning, herself wrapped in his arms his arms, around her waist, his arms grazing her neck his arms his hands his fingertips grazing all over her body she began to reach out for what she thought was her vibrating friend. She found it, clicked it on and ran it over her breasts stimulating her causing little moans to come reaching from the bathroom, as joe was listening at the door, her voice became weak, with every pulse that the vibrator went for, it was hitting everything she needed to feel. As she turned the vibrator off, she laid it on the floor as she quietly rested her eyes, she drifted off to sleep as joe knocked on the door, he didn’t get an answer, he tried the door, door opened he went in the bathroom, he didn’t know what happened to her, was she dead was she asleep? Was she what was she? Addison J. Addison Addison Addison jesus Christ Addison. She finally looked up at him, her eyes were fuzzy, she didn’t know who he was or what he was, he let the water out of her tub as she was laying in the tub he picked her up, and took her to bed, they soon went to bed. The next morning Joe went and got breakfast from the bar and brought it up to their room, they had pancakes, waffles, hash browns and sausage and gravy with a side of biscuits he began to eat alone, he tried to wake her up, but he wasn’t getting anything, so he decided to eat alone. She however woke up, wrapped herself in the bed sheet she came out to half of the order he had ordered he looked up as she was sitting in the chair, across from him she grabbed a plate and had some biscuits and gravy, small talk was made he didn’t know what was going on was she confused was she not feeling this vacation anymore? He had to know, he had to have a serious sit down with her they only had 2 more days left on their vacation and reality was coming back for them, Addison are you are we ok? You had me scared in the pool I don’t want to be scared, I don’t know what happened with you in the pool you don’t have to tell me, I just want to know. She smiled at him, knowing this was going to come up because of what happened, in the deep end, she became soft her voice however carried throughout, the night when I was 12, my family and I we were at a family party and me and my cousin and her best friend all wanted to go swim, our parents told us no, because it was late and we all weren’t allowed to swim at night by ourselves even though the pool and the chairs and party was right there we weren’t allowed, well needless to say we all went inside, and we got our suits on and they all had their backs turn well we all went in the pool and well a friend had turned around, and jumped in the pool and began to forceful play around, with me and he drowned me for approximately what seemed to be forever, it was for about 5 minutes I panicked and shut down and couldn’t swim back to the surface because my panic took over. So that’s why I can’t do the deep end all that well. And now I feel like I’m not even capable, to even be with a family at any event. She said as he smiled at her, he drew her face near his as he kissed her softly no kiss like this ever happened between them not ever, It was powerful. She broke it however, to say You gonna kiss me like this at our wedding? He laughed and said nope, not even gonna kiss you, just gonna shake your hand, and bow and go to the party. No kissing involved gonna shake your hand, and welcome you as my wife, you kidding me though? Am I gonna kiss you like that at our wedding girl your sadly mistaken for how our wedding kiss is gonna go down, you ever met this tongue at a wedding? She laughed as she hugged him as they both stayed silent for a while as they noticed the clock read 11:11 she closed her eyes, and made her wish (( Wishing for a beautiful rest of the trip, and to plan this wedding full in affect!)} * his was to become champion, and to marry Addison, whatever she wanted for her day it was going to happen*}} So what do you have in mind for us today? Joe asked, addison’ shrugged her shoulders as she didn’t know what she wanted to do, he mentioned laying around in bed as she smiled at him, she nodded that she agreed with what he had in mind, he put his food away and opened the door as he sat the room tray down, he shut the door as he turned around Addison grabbed the firestick, and started going through movies for them to watch, as they both settled for a comedy they first watched Rough Night, followed by home again, followed by the longest ride, and addisons favorite movie, Pretty woman. Joe looked out at the window during Home again, to find it raining he was so happy they were inside on this day because it didn’t look like it would ever let up. They started going over their wedding, the colors, the venue the food, etc How about we have pizza? As what our food would be. She squinted her eyes at him, in disgust as she laughed shook her head no, and proclaimed that they would have a buffet style, Joe we have to cater to our guests, not everybody wants pizza. He looked puzzled at her, laying next to her she laughed, Joe we can have a pizza part of it but we also, need to have fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, carrots, turkey and ham, salad, potato salads, fruit salad, punch alcohol, etc things that everybody will like. He laughed I uh got a question baby? Are you pregnant? She smacked his chest, and came back with a GOD NO why would you think that? Baby no. you need more practice, to get me pregnant baby. He laughed as he climbed on top of her naked body, almost crushing her laptop, Mr. Anoai’ easy does it. This laptop costs more than your rock hard cock. He laughed as he nuzzled against her neck, don’t you start, this now don’t you dare start this now. She said as she reached for her laptop, she began writing who would be in the wedding, Bride: ME. Groom: Joe, Groomsman: Jon Fatu, Jimmy Fatu, Lionel J, Mark Calaway, Paul Levesque. Bridesmaids, Trinity, Trish, Summer, Joe laughed at her list You gonna invite Mark? I mean We gonna invite mark? And Paul? I mean aiiight She laughed as she said you did say this was my day right? I mean I’ll include you. So uh you think you wanna come to my wedding baby? He shook his head, and laughed he nodded as he asked could I be the groom? I think I’d fit that role pretty good. I mean. They both laughed as they continued to go over their list. Ayeeee you got a dress? He asked nervously she nodded that she did, she quickly changed the subject and brought out her phone, Okay here’s my Pinterest this is what I want you guys all to wear this is what I want the venue to look like, he just nodded Baby I swear I meant what I said earlier, whatever you want. You get it you buy it, you have it. Do what you want, just invite me to be your groom. She laughed, as she had stated she wanted him to have his input. I uh guess I mean I would want an outdoor wedding, but I mean if you want a church wedding, we’ll do church service, and an outdoor reception? I mean I’d be down with that. He said as she agreed, they both were in shock that this was going way too well. Way too well for their own good.

Is this how it is? Is this how wedding planning is? I mean aren’t we supposed to fight over like cups and what it looks like and what the venue color looks like and why isn’t the lighting just right? I mean we’re not even in that point. Addison smiled as she continued to pin her life away on designs, and colors, and food and music, and everything in between. Lets not make the last two days of our trip wedding blissing here alright mama. I mean I know your excited and I want you as excited as you can be but its 2:30 in the afternoon, the rain is getting worse and I say we close this little Pinterest down and let me pin a little interest in your neck and other regions aye? He wiggled his eye brows at her in hopes that she would agree, to much his surprise she did and they drifted in what would be a mixture of wedding pure bliss.

I know guys its been 2 months since I haven’t written this chapter A lot has changed in my life, I lost my grandmother, on the 31st of march, and I haven’t been quite the same. I had a good run with this story a couple months ago. And wasn’t feeling it. So I deleted it and walked away from it for awhile until I read a story awhile back that made me go back to this one and pick it back up. So here we are!! Addison and Joe are planning on their wedding. They’ll be returning from vacation soon when we enter chapter 8. Its crazy to be on chapter 8 of this story! I’ve never written a story past chapter 2. If at all. The next chapter will focus more on Joe’s return to WWE Addison going back to her hospital work and Life in Pensacola FL will resume. Joe becoming a champion in the near future, and a possible pregnancy! Hope you all will stay tunned I do apologize for the lack of writing this chapter but here it is so enjoy!! And I guess if your into that kind of thing HAPPY WRESTLEMANIA DAY!

#Of all #Lindsey writes #Chapter 7 #Roman Reigns #Addison and Leati

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