#hopefully other people are as well
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I'm sorry but saying "don't write dark or taboo fiction or at least keep it private because it might trigger someone or someone might get off to it." is exactly like saying "don't talk about the abuse you suffered because it might trigger someone or someone might get off to it."
It is the exact same thing. Telling someone they aren't allowed to talk about their own lived experience because some random stranger might be triggered, made uncomfortable, or even aroused by it is unbelievably fucking disgusting.
Whether someone is writing dark/taboo fiction to cope or not is 100% irrelevant because someone else's trauma is not your business, and you can't know.
You shouldn't tell a victim to never talk about their trauma, so you shouldn't tell people what they can and cannot write about, because at the end of the day, you don't know and it's not your business. Block and mute things/people you don't want to see, and move the fuck on with your life.
#trash king vents#anti bs#just anti things#proship#this probably isn't worded well but whatever#hopefully you know what I mean#''I'm the centre of the universe and I never want to be uncomfortable''#''therefore other people are never allowed to talk about uncomfortable topics because *I* might hear it''#that's what you fucking sound like
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Have you witnessed discoursing about Orym in the past several months? Would you like to be more well-informed about the subject matter? Well, then, do I have a post for you! As a reference for myself and potentially for others:
A Comprehensive Write-Up Of Relevant Times And Contexts Where Orym Has Brought Up His Dead Family While The Group Discusses The Vanguard/Predathos--With Receipts
Disclaimer: these are all of the instances in which I was able to find independently through the Critical Role transcript search, not from rewatching everything. It is therefore possible there are some instances unaccounted for.
Episode 34. Post-resurrection after being killed by Otohan Thull, he brings up the fact that Otohan had a hand in killing his family to emphasize to Imogen how dangerous Otohan is and that she may potentially continue to be an issue for her specifically due to her apparent interest in Imogen (exalting her during the battle in the previous episode)
2. Episode 46. An early God Talk™️, prompted by Ludinus using (presumably) Feeblemind on Professor Kadija Sumal. He holds his opinion until the very end of the conversation, after entertaining Imogen's idea that "they make some good points" and listening to the group discuss if the gods are good or bad for several minutes.
"I don't need to debate it. I lost my husband and father to these people, I'm not on board. Some of the gods are terrifying, and some of them have put their thumbs on the scales for people for centuries, even in the last few decades. Who are they, who are we to decide who lives or dies, god or mortal or otherwise? I don't think they have any good points."
3. Episode 49. He brings them up combatively ("Well, Imogen, I wish. my family didn't have to die for their brighter tomorrow"), against Imogen's statement of, "What if it's not that bad? [...] What if what we're doing is just fighting change?" after she solely received a vision of a Utopia-like future from her mother. Imogen backs down quickly after his reproach and acknowledges that the vision was likely a part of cult brainwashing.
4. Episode 61. Orym pulls Prism aside, after she asks the party and Elder Abbadina if Predathos would cause a world-ending event, or if it would only be bad for some (the Elder did not know anything about Predathos at all), to say, "I don't think we know anything [...] The only thing I have to go on is the track record of the guys trying to bring Predathos out. And that track record is not very good." At further prompting from Prism about if he ever thought the Vanguard's ideas were right, he says, "Prism, I don't understand the gods. I don't know anything about the titans. I don't know an eidolon from eyeliner. [...] But I'm a widower, because of the people who want to bring this about. So it's hard for me to wrangle with the other side."
5. Episode 61, pt. 2. Orym listens to the party converse with Elder Abbadina for a little while longer before silently sneaking out "to go think about his dead father and his dead husband."
6. Episode 77. Another God Talk™�� with the whole party, prompted by FCG asking what everyone's motive was in going to the moon. For his reasoning, he says, "We don't know what's going to happen to any inch of this world if Predathos is unleashed. Yeah, this started with my husband and my father. It's so much bigger than that. If my life can secure the lives of everyone who comes after us, well spent."
7. Episode 92. After the death of another loved one to Otohan Thull, in response to Liliana's statement that temples might hunt down Ruidusborn in the theoretical event that Ludinus' plot is foiled, "Cold comfort for my family in the ground."
8. Episode 92, pt. 2. In response to a throwaway, thoughtless comment Ashton made that, "I hope [Liliana] is right. I really do. I hope her ends are fucking great because these means are just not forgivable." Orym has Chetney bring out Otohan's sword, jams one into the sand and declares, "This is the sword that killed my father and my husband. She is not right."
UPDATE: 8/14/24
9. Episode 102, during the confrontation with Ludinus. Interjected during the ongoing conversation, specifically during some bantering between Chetney and Ludinus as to the last time they met (when Chetney attacked him as a werewolf). He says, "You put a hit on my family, a successful one, fuck you. Fuck you." Ludinus later apologizes for the deaths of his family, claiming Otohan was "overzealous in her methods." Both Imogen and Laudna respond immediately that he was responsible for Otohan's actions.
10. Episode 103, during yet another God Conversation. Orym tries to redirect conversation about Ludinus and the gods, stating that they are different topics. Ashton concurs, and Imogen states that she agrees with Orym that Ludinus doesn't get to decide for everyone. Dorian then interjects, "But the gods do?" Which prompts Orym's blunt response to him specifically that, "If Ludinus had sent people to your home, and taken brother and your father and countless others, how philosophical would you be about it, Dorian?"
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So, with all of the information in front of us, what conclusions can we draw from them? When asked by others to assess if the Vanguard has valid points, Orym repeatedly abstains from having an opinion. Whether or not the Vanguard has a reason to be upset is irrelevant to him--what is relevant is the loss of life they have incurred along the way. Orym takes no stance on the gods, he repeatedly states he doesn't understand them or know anything about them or harbor much of a connection to them. As far as he is concerned, his role in this is to oppose the violence being done to the people of Exandria. Why waste your time debating the merits of a cult's ideology when you know, in the end, you will have to fight against them to end the slaughter? To protect people?
And for what it's worth, in almost every instance, Ashton has effectively taken the same side as Orym. I have not included all of these moments, but they are easily located if you wanted to search up these moments on your own. The continual focus on de-legitimizing Orym's opinion seems strongly tied to the fact that he has a personal reason to hate the Vanguard. But facts being facts, Ashton hates them just the same--and he has no love of the gods, either. He hates the Vanguard based on their actions, same as Orym. In fact, Ashton and Laudna have both expressed outright dislike for the gods, and all other Bells Hells except for FCG expressed ambivalence. This is not about the gods. Not for Orym, not for the others who remain. This is about no more bodies on the pyre of Ludinus' machinations.
P.S. if you know of any other instances this topic has come up that I have not included, please feel free to let me know! I want this post to be as comprehensive as it can be, but I am fallible and may have missed something. Don't be afraid to tell me about a scene I missed!
#is this a little bit petty? yes#but also i genuinely did want all the info in one post for reference's sake#so hopefully this reference has helped others as well as decent compilation of information!#cr tag#I contemplated maintagging this. but. maybe that's a little too petty even for me#anyway the people who want to find this will probably find this. so.
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Its them Its them! I'm so stinking proud of these guys! Ive been saying this for a while now but jeez I need another shelf man 😭
@julialepetit
#York had another incident btw#remember his chipped off bloody coat? well his ear and hair bunny ear fell clean off too...#and all of the white people r turning GREEN#i changed the paint for animatronic so HOPEFULLY this works out#im trying a new format here but ough idk naksjksdhkshs#anyway them thm thm#drawtectives#drawfee#drawtectives fanart#drawfee fanart#claytectives#mimeatronic#in this house we believe in mimeatronic#hey yall#if you read tags omg hi ily but also#if you read tags do suggest who do i make nexxtttt#i never know if i should tag her or not#on one hand im terrified on the other they are my BABIES#anyway#destielconfession#dilfosaur#sure sure yeayea#im still terrified of both of them tho🫶
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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Image description: [Black text on lined paper. Text reads: Share your story with the Psych Survivor Archive. Hold the psychiatric system accountable for the violence and coercion we've survived. Make space for our anger. Grieve together. Celebrate our resistance. The Psych Survivor Archive is a forum for psych survivors to share about their experiences and be believed. You can share as much or as little as you want. Your story will be anonymously published on the website with writing from other psych survivors. The archive is open to anyone who identifies as a psych survivor, including people who survived inpatient hospitalization, rehab, troubled teen industry, partial hospitalization, outpatient programs, ABA, and any other form of coercion psych treatment. Check out the prompts, participant rights, and content guidelines. Share your story now: www.psychsurvivorarchive.com/submit-your-story]
Hey everyone. I wanted to share this here as well. The Psych Survivor Archive is looking for anyone who wants to share their story and have it anonymously published on the website, in order to create a collection of our experiences navigating the psych system. Your responses will be anonymous and can be as detailed or vague as you want. On the website, there are prompts, but you can feel free to share in whatever format makes sense to you.
This is a more informal way to participate in the Psych Survivor Archive if you are not interested in creating art for the zine, but still want your story to be heard and validated.
For me, it has felt very cathartic to write out my story, on my terms, in the way that I want to be known. I hope that the archive can offer that space to other psych survivors as well, and I can't wait to keep developing this project and offering even more. In the next couple weeks, submissions will open up for the second edition of the zine, so if you're interested in submitting creative art or writing keep an eye out!
love and solidarity always <3
#personal#psych survivor#antipsych#survivingpsych#mad liberation#mad pride#madpunk#neurodivergent#mental illness#psych abolition#antipsychiatry#thank you SO much to everyone who's submitted stories so far. they are now live on the website#for me i process through writing. it means a lot to feel seen#and this is a small thing that i would like. to do with other people as well. idk#i know writing and sharing is really not everyone's thing and that's totally okay. as always there's#no pressure to participate. just an option#hopefully will be publishing some more zines soon about basic antipsych topics which would be lovely
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Just coming on here and giving everyone a huge hug this morning. We’re officially at the two week mark. We’ve all done so much, and so much has happened in that short time frame.
I know so many of us are tired, or discouraged, or burnt. But just know that all of you are so so lovely, and even the smallest things are so so appreciated. Whether that’s filling out the feedback forms, tweeting at the other platforms, reblogging information, being here to lift others up, or taking time to yourself so you can come back for another push later, you’re all doing so, so well.
If nothing else, we’ve all managed to come together, and to shower the cast and crew with so much love.
So I’m sending that same love y’alls way, too. Keep up the good work, keep those fingers crossed, and mostly importantly, take care of yourselves 💜🏴☠️
#OFMD#SaveOFMD#Renew as a crew#Adopt our crew#Know a lot of people are PARTICULARLY wiped with all that happened yesterday#So just know that I’m wrapping blankets around you and consensually kissing yalls foreheads#HOPEFULLY we can indeed woo a platform#And HOPEFULLY we can indeed see more light again#I’m going to keep pushing and pushing and pushing until Dad waves the white flag#And I of course others to continue shining as well#But ALSO do what’s best for you#Take a breather#Step away for a bit#Change tactics#Etc etc
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dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)
but the moments like this get to me
Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.
And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."
i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.
he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.
(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)
a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes
everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.
childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.
he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)
#Stancest#because having ford be like “romance? pfff who needs ROMANCE and SETTLING DOWN when i could be a BIG SHOT”#then writing “wonder what my estranged brother who i refuse to talk to or contact in years and i totally hate rn is doing rn...”#is well#what can i say other than the implications is the implications (highly doubt its on purpose but lmao)#ford writing “(hopefully that hes not doing anything like settling down or anything after i just mentioned that for myself)”#is in the next page hashtag trust me guys#“i prefer the road less traveled anyway” oh my god we get it youre WEIRD omfggg riverdale jughead ass#with repressed incestious desire we get it#jokes and shipping aside i think this is one of the stan twins vs dipper/mabel parallels thats VERY very well done#mabel and stan as their counterparts theter to reality and gets them to stop filtering their fears and desires through other peoples desires#and have them see things clearly for their own#is pretty good
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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Hi! Please please please, could you tell me more about your coffin chain ideas?/nf
I am obsessed but barely anybody has jumped onto the ship yet and I am VERY new to the fandom so I wanna wait with making it myself until I know more lol. You are lowkey fueling this entire operations and I wanna thank you for that either way.
(rubs my paws together) you have no idea what you've unleashed anon i've been holding onto this ask specifically bc i've been sapping dopamine from it like a little leech waiting until i had time to hastily doodle up a little dynamics timeline for different stages of the ot4
i REALLY hope this makes sense . i feel the need to say this every time i post abt coffinchain but my ideas are rly specific and i've had time for them to infect my brain like mold so i'm defo ready to accept this all being rly niche and really just for me and like 3 other people
buuut if this little peek into my mind speaks to ANY of y'all i absolutely encourage implore and beg you to send me asks and ideas and whatnot about these 4 bastards literally whenever you want!!
TL;DR one half of the trauma bonded couple reaches out and forms an immediate kinship with the big scary guy that no one likes & convinces his petty boyfriend to let him fw them. then he starts bringing his deranged fbi otter around they start double-dating only for it to become a situationship and then the worst polycule ever
#saw#coffinchain#chainshipping#coffinshipping#hoffstrahm#hoffstrahmdonheight#i can't thank you enough btw i literally get so excited that people are actually interested in coffinchain... my beloveds!!! my ot4!!#also i didn't wanna draw more heads and make this post super long but this is w/o even explaining my ideas about the others to y'all#i love perezmanda/puppetshipping so i'm rly into strahm eventually confessing all of this to perez and begging for her to trust him and lik#not get them all arrested. just long enough to hear him out about how he wants to domesticate these poor freaks#and at first she's REALLY skeptical and then amanda won't stop YAPPING girl just wants to get a rise out of her so bad#also i love extended jigsquad casts. logan gets to be there bc i say so. as well as brad and ryan bc i think they're funny#and i love lawrence just inexplicably having goons#okay i'll stop rambling but see just 1 ask and you've already got me feeling insane about my brainrot#HOPEFULLY i'll have some fics soon and i can just actually put a name and fic series to my silly au thing... if y'all would want that#asks#anonymous#cat scratches
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((please rb if you vote! obv this is just silly but im curious+wanna see ppls opinions<3))
#considered including cigarette butts and 'random green goop puddle' and a few other things but ultimately decided against it#so absolutely tell me if that was a mistake#ive never made a poll before! just thot itd be fun:]#garbage repeats as a gag across all kindsa media is SO funny to me for some reason#point+click games... childrens cartoons... comics of all kinds... so much dumpster diving#smth gets tossed & clangs+clatters a ruckus. smth else is yote+squeaks like a rubber duck. smth else flies by+makes an unseen cat caterwaul#how many people are throwing away perfectly intact fish skeletons in all these worlds across time & space#whats up with that#lmao#anyway. i desperately need to sleep but Cant so made this instead. cant tell if its funny or no but#who can tell! and hopefully if i typoed or anyth it wont be too bad when i look back at this lmao#ok byeeeee. mwah#bee speaks#polls#OMG JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO INCLUDE CDs....... well pretend i left it out on purpose ig. bc obv EVERYONE would vote for cds if they could
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catventurers meowlphabet (first half) 😽✨
#catventurers#original#cat art#tabaxi#racing against the clock to see if i can finish the last few before i've posted the ones i've got done LOL#ive painted up to S so if I post one every few days.. and paint one every few days.. i should have some leeway hopefully#it does not even matter i just am overly conscious of how my instagram profile looks#I like doing one of these every other post. it looks nice#and hopefully that way people aren't getting tired of them........#well w/e people can think what they like cause i love these sm#nothing better than a silly little guy!!!#anyways if you're reading all this thank you#shocked if anyone made it this far i'm just saying nonsense to myself
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« nothing on me »
bayverse raph x reader / fluff + angst
notes: 1.8k words, first person pov, established relationship, gender neutral reader (no pronouns used,) details of injuries and tending to said injuries.
a knock on the window at 3am? that only means one thing: the turtles are here. smiling, I rub the remnants of sleep from my eyes and hop out of bed to open up the curtain. only one turtle faces me at the window though - raphael.
I open the window and help his wide frame step down from the ledge, but my previous smile fades fast when raph groans in pain as he steps onto the floor.
“raph, what’s wrong? where are the rest of the boys? what happened?” I speak as fast as possible to try and get to his answer, worry eating away at me with each second that passes.
my raph is the mass strength and rough hand amongst the turtles. he can handle a lot of damage since he always manages to deal out more than what is done onto him. seeing him bent over, actually using my arm for support and not simply holding me because he wants to, groaning in genuine pain rather than letting out his usual gruff noises of acknowledgment - that scares me. it terrifies me when I don’t know what has happened.
“I told them to check on dad,” he begins breathlessly, “I needed you. it’s really bad this time.”
my eyes widen and I hurry him to the side of my bed, the mattress creaking under his weight. I grasp his face in my hands to check him over, turning his head every which way, but see nothing apart from a few new scratches on his skin.
“what do you mean ‘really bad,’ raph? you’re scaring me.”
“my—“ he lifts his arm and tries to reach for the back of his shell, failing miserably and almost howling out in pain, “my shell, sweetheart. I haven’t seen it yet but I heard it crack and this pain is too much for it to just be taped up.”
I scuttle around his large form and am immediately hit with the sight of a deep crack in the middle of his shell. he was right to come straight to me with this one. he should always come to me with injuries but is too stubborn most of the time and rides out the pain: ‘it may look bad to you but it’s nothing on me.’
when the boys started to properly use their skills outside of the lair, with the risk of larger injuries increasing, I began to research and teach myself how to handle ones specific to these mutants. thanks to many in depth articles about turtle care, I have safely cleaned and covered up small cracks before. the only difference between the boys and ‘normal’ turtles in regards to care like this is their size - it takes longer and requires more focus to clean cracks, ensuring that they can heal appropriately over time. although tonight’s damage will take double that, and maybe more.
“oh raph, oh my…how? wait, don’t answer that. I’m doing my first aid stuff then we can talk about it, okay?” he nods with a sad smile and all I can do is reach out and cup his cheek, returning the expression he gave me. he moves my hand to his lips for a quick kiss before I start scurrying off to grab what I need.
let’s see - chlorohexidine solution, q-tips, cotton pads, adhesive patches and a towel. is that all I need? I have no idea right now; I’m so scared to touch him that I feel like stalling for as long as I can.
I walk slowly back to where he sits on the edge of my bed, his head resting in one hand as the other rubs at his tired eyes. I lay down all that I grabbed from the bathroom before taking a deep breath and sitting down behind him. the room is silent for a couple of minutes after that, my heart beating loudly in my ears. I can’t break my anxious stare away from the crack in his beautiful carapace.
“hey…” raph speaks ever so softly to get my attention.
“yeah— sorry. I’m sorry,” I feel tears begin to form in my eyes. I hate seeing him hurt like this. “I’m going to fix you up. I promise I’ll fix this. I’ll touch around your shell, away from the crack, and you tell me how it feels. let me know how much the pain has spread.”
he gestures ‘yes’ to me but with a frowned brow, “don’t cry, love. everything is okay. I’m raphael, remember? this is nothing on me!”
but I can see it - I can see the pain written on his face, the way his eyes look misty. I don’t want to push him to talk nor do I want to directly acknowledge the pain I can see; I don’t want to break his protective wall at a time like this. it wouldn’t be fair to do so. I wipe my tears and get straight to work instead.
my small hand reaches out for him, gently patting around the edges of his shell then smoothing over the surface, “that’s not bad at all. it just feels tingly, like the nice kind of tingly you give me.” I giggle at him. it’s a relief that the shell hasn’t shattered or anything and he can feel my hand like always.
I’ve spent so many nights tracing over the faint patterns of his plastron and committing the texture to memory. it helps calm him after a stressful training day or when he can’t sleep. it secretly calms me too because it’s just us in those moments, the rest of the world fading away and leaving only raph and I. there’s no need to jump away from my hold to save new york when my touch melts away the city completely. nothing can break us out of that warm paradise as long as we are together.
despite the touch test going well, the cleaning of his wounds will definitely be painful since the crack is open and noticeable. I pour some of the solution onto a q-tip and tell raph to start breathing slowly and deeply. I help him set a pace for it before I begin to clean.
he hisses in pain when the piece of cotton comes in contact with the wound and my tears start to flow again, “I know baby, but this part is important,” I sniffle and reach my free hand for his, “use me to balance yourself.”
“I’ll break your little hand,” there is a fracture in his voice as he speaks but he still manages to let out a chuckle with his words.
“breathe and squeeze, raph, don’t worry about me.”
and so he did - each time I dipped the cotton into the crack he inhaled and exhaled quickly whilst grasping my hand in his. I rubbed my thumb over his rough skin in an attempt to ground us both over and over again.
“one last clean and then I’ll patch it up and be done for tonight.” he lets out a loud sigh at that, obviously glad that the stinging will be over soon. I hear him lowly whimper but force a cough after in an attempt to hide the noise. once again I don’t press him on it, I just kiss the back of his hand to let him know it’s alright.
the last step is to cut adhesive patches to fit the crack, making sure to leave small gaps at the ends to allow air to flow through. this process isn’t all that different from putting a bandaid on a human arm, and thank goodness for that. I want to do everything I can to help raph, to ease his pain, so this being a somewhat ‘easy’ task to complete means luck is on my side right now.
with the last piece secure I get up from the bed to face him again, giving him a small smile to let him know it’s done. I slip myself between his legs and reach out to untie his bandana. his eyes close as he presses his head onto my chest to give me access to the tie at the back.
sliding the cloth from his face, I set it on the bed and wipe underneath his eyes; he looks so worn out. my fingers move down to draw along the scars from previous battles and to check over any new cuts, the pad of my thumb eventually landing on the most prominent scar across his upper lip. my raph, my hero, our hero…with the scars to prove it all.
“give it a week and see how the shell starts to heal. if we need to do more then I’m ready for that. I’ve done my research, you’re looking at a certified mutant turtle nurse,” I wink at him as he laughs and nuzzles further into my hold.
he looks up at me with those gorgeous eyes, the light of the moon catching in them. he may be hurt but he’s here with me and healing in my arms, and I’ll hold this man forever to show him how much he means to me. he’s looking at me in the same way - in awe of what’s in front of him - both of us dumbly grinning at each other. although, he does break eye contact when a yawn suddenly comes bursting out.
“do you want to talk about what happened, or do you want to catch some z’s first?”
“hmm…as much as I want to tell you about how much of a badass I am, I really want to crash.”
he moves to lay on his back before I catch his shoulders with high pitched squeak, “shell!” I whisper-yell at him. his lips form an ‘o’ and I shake my head. only raph could forget about his injuries that quickly.
I slip into the bed first and hold out my arms, beckoning him to follow and to lay on his stomach. he does so almost instantly, getting comfy against me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
“thank you for everything. I trust you with my life, you know.”
“and I trust you with mine, big red.”
I’m seemingly stuck staring down at him, just in stupid awe once more. watching how his eyes are effortlessly closed, evident that he is exhausted, with a faint smile playing on his lips as he shifts around to find the best snoozing position. his shell is now what catches the attention of the moon and I feel satisfied with my work on the crack. I’m still worried but the patch looks good and secure from afar so I’ll take it for it now.
I’m so happy that this brave and unstoppable mutant turtle trusts me with his open wounds, with his physical and emotional scars, with his love and being. this life of ours is crazy in so many ways but I wouldn’t ask for anything to change. well, less wounds here and there would be nice but that might be asking for too much.
#my first turtles story! I don’t normally write fics I have so many ideas that just play out in my head but I’m glad I wrote this one down#I think I’ve only ever posted one other fic on this account before (a beel one) so hopefully I’ll write some more in the future#well if people like them then I’ll post more hhh I have no idea how to gauge the quality of my own writing at all#oracleact chats#tmnt#bayverse tmnt#bayverse raph#bayverse raphael#bayverse raph x reader#bayverse raph imagine#tmnt raph x reader#tmnt x reader#tmnt imagine#I don’t actually know how to tag this…will this do? :<#blossom 💌 raph
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Jumping aboard the amazing @cosmicpoutine's Stray au with a chibi Stray!Steph :D. Stray AUs give me life, and Cosmic's stray designs go so hard!!!
Idk what she up to but mischief is for sure involved >:)
#Definitely going to do a more detailed illustration later#But I thought chibi vibes went so well w her!!!#This au is so fun actually#Hopefully I did it justice :D#My art#Other people's aus
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Every time I revisit the comic I feel people around Ai were fortunate to have her
she's really kind inside. She loved everyone so much.. no wonder her name means love
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#many took her for granted..overlooked her pains!!! but they won't get someone as good as her so easy(that's why everyone misses her now)#I don't really want to blame her bf..he had terrible things going on and he was a kid too. he's all right on this regard in my opinion#BUT THE ADULTS#they just tossed her in the industry and thought she'd fare well all on her own and Ai really tried. She did her best. that's so realistic#hopefully people will be more attentive and kinder to each other in real life#doodle#spoilers#aand I'll be off for a trip.. I won't be able to draw the next couple days!#I'll miss drawing~
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Some friendly advice
<previous - next>
#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#wolship#WoL x Erenville#X'vahl Tia#G'raha Tia#miqo'te#male miqo'te#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshot#X'vahl x Erenville#Erenvahl#The 'since then' would be the mother of his children.#The end of that relationship super fucked him up.#It's not the *last* relationship he's been in#but it's easily the only other time he felt like he was in love with anyone.#Also yay! G'raha! The boy! I *finally* get to put him in something that hopefully showcases that they're really close friends.#He and Y'shtola are the only people that know about the whole situation with X'vahl's kids and their mom#but G'raha is the only one who would give him some *gentle* encouragement about his current relationship issues.#I'm sorry for hurting you like this X'vahl#I promise I would prefer to have it end well for you tho.#(also his sad face makes me want to squish his cheeks)
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Hope everyone enjoyed today's QSMP Cinema event!
As expected, many VODs were unfortunately muted for certain animations because of copyright issues. I know some of the artists weren't able to catch everyone's reactions to their work, and I'm sure there are many other fans & VOD watchers who missed out too.
LUCKY I was able to archive Foolish, Roier, Cellbit, and Quackity's reactions to all the animations, and for anyone interested in viewing them, I'll be uploading them to Google Drive and will post the links here when that's available.
#mod talk#(Assuming Google Drive doesn't decide to be stupid ofc)#UNFORTUNATELY.... I DIDN'T SAVE PHIL'S............#I THOUGHT I DID. BUT I DIDN'T#ah well at least I watched him live and got to see that#Only one animation was muted on his stream but he had some fun comments about the Cucurucho design#I will be completely honest I prioritized these particular 4 because they're the ones whose POVs I was most interested in seeing#Hopefully the recordings can help out some other folks too though!#I told you guys earlier today that I didn't know how to record live#(I still don't)#HOWEVER I figured out a way to nab the recording before Twitch muted things#Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.#I also covered 8 people for the VOD Timestamp Archive today and it SUCKED I think I need to dial it back vis-a-vis timestamp recording
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