#hopefully ill be able to do all days👍👍

[nikidykeachu]

Day 7:cards

I wasn't sure what to do cause idk anything bout cards so cochi y beni playing uno^__^ except I don't rember what uno cards look like either

[b-blushes]

creating something to look forward to tomorrow: i'm gonna sit in the garden >:)

[phagodyke]

lol handed in my forms and they looked them over and were like ok give us a call later this week and I was like ummm I can't bc im deaf I said on there and they were like ohhh well just come in on friday then.. girl I work full tiiiime 😭

[em0-alpaca]

small positive rant:

im extremely happy to have my boyfriend.

i mean, not that im so old and i havent been in too serious relationships [i was young and a hopeless romantic so all of them were doomed to fail] but i never thought id get to experience what a real relationship is.

to be honest, ive never been and to this day im still not the best one when it comes to this [even with being in one for over two years] and god, with how anxiety can screw up someones point of view, this couldve end up the same like any other one i had.

i feel like i finally have motivation to actually work on myself, im already 20 and im scared to do basic things and it puts me down so much, my mind gets to very.. ridiculous thoughts. and i know that without any help i wont be able to do anything so i need to finally accept it.

and i cannot be more grateful for this man to be in my life and seeing how everything changed has opened my eyes more.. and i have never felt more secure with someone before so this is truly a big change for me.

the anxiety will stay for soo damn long and its gonna take me forever to get rid off certain thoughts but ill do my best to just make them minimal, for mine and his sake.

with that being said, ill try to get back on the grind and practice few things in terms of art and MAYBE try new things so i can finally be happy with what i create and try to find more interests [thinking on catching up with entomology and astrology, these things live in my head rent free]. so expect some work coming up after im done with school or on a winter break, hopefully i wont lose any motivation after i pick up my stylus lol

thank you all coming to my ted talk and sorry for bombing your fyp with a small text wall 👍

[lostacelonnie]

The dreaded time returns once again. I hope your first day back wasnt bad. Oh hell yeah peak fuck it we ball right there. & its always nice to have the support system. Oh yeah mt fuji is on my list too i wanna see it. Also id love to see the native birds. Love seein different types of birds. Oh okay words not commonly used bein dropped got it. Occasionally annoying is like the catchphrase of the english language. Oh yeah big same 80 is like my max comfort level for heat before it becomes unbearable. So 42c was like death it sucked so bad. Thanks! I also finally got through jarilo-vi story & playstation beta version opened to test so hopefully soon ill be able to play there. Mobile is hard to play on. Very nice i should check out rain world see what its like. I need to set aside time to draw its a relaxing hobby. I feel that i keep dropping games for a bit. Now that im all caught up on genshin again im trying to play more dredge & river city girls. Maybe even beat them. I wish you luck in your minecraft quest. Fair enough. I get along okay with my half sister but not enough to like. Tell her things. Oh hell yeah congrats on the dye job done. Always feels good. Yeehaw new game mode. Star rail is doin good at havin fun & interesting side stuff to do really. I got so many facts about fish & birds & such in my head at all times but can i remember all of them all the time? No. Such is life with adhd

it really does. but hey i survived the first week AND made friends with the cool alt girls from my class so its not ryover 👍and yeah i was. actually quite surprised how chill my mom is with me being queer but im not complaining. and yeah definitely!!! i dont rlly know a lot about birds but i agree its always nice to see them. and yeah isnt it!!!! tho Being Polish kinda desensitized me to languages being annoying since it is like that as well. while i do operate my mother language quite well, i cannot remember a Single grammar rule ive ever learned. just freestyle it and hope for the best. what the fuck is a przydawka. and ough congrats on surviving that then. im going to alicante with my school pretty soon [mightve mentioned this but i dont remember?] and from what we know its going to be like 25c there and like. damn. here i was getting happy about not having to deal with the heat until the next vacation. but Whatever. AND AHH THATS NICE!! id love to hear ur thoughts on the story i honestly Really like the jarilo vi arc. mobile IS hard to play on. survive out there. RAIN WORLD IS SO GOOD OMG THE GRAPHICS AND STORY ARE AMAZING AND ALL THE DIFFERENT SLUGCATS ARE SO FUN TO PLAY AS...... and ah good luck with that!! i have a little less time now that school is back but ive been trying to at least doodle every day. and ooh i dont recognize either of those, tell me ab them!! i did the genshin archon quest and havent logged in since but it was very fun. excited for the next part. and thank you o7 ill keep you updated on that. and yeah i feel you on that i have a pretty similar relationship with mine, its just that we rarely ever talk. AND THANK YOU!! im probably gonna repeat it soon since, as i said, dye doesnt really like to cooperate with me so its basically gone by now but at least i know this dye stays for at least a bit. i havent played star rail recently aside from the main quest tbh, didnt really have the motivation to do it i guess. BUT i heard the new simulated universe is fun so ill probs check it out Eventually. and yeah it really IS like that

[algolstare]

Everyone struggles or is struggling. You're out on your own for the first time (?) You're still learning etc. The fact is you would have been OK if they paid you on time ☝️ it's ironic you'll be OK for April onwards hopefully but you're caught on the back foot rn and that's the main issue. You're trying to help yourself though and that is SO valid. I see so many people not prepared to even try and other people like you who DO and are still going no matter what. That's the difference 👍

yes, this is my first time being out!! it'd feel strange to put it as being on my own for the first time, but it is my first time being free and able to do all of this - it's amazing, even though it's hard and scary, it's so wonderful and I am so grateful to be alive, and to have had even a single day of this, let alone a whole month and the possibility for more to live. it really is ironic ;__; and so frustrating, but it is so ridiculous i feel i cant do anything but laugh and keep going or ill just cry. i struggled so much to be able to survive to escape, this is to me a continuation of that in a way - just completely different, fighting to continue/to keep this is so different in feeling than fighting for the potential to ever have it, in a way i dont know if i can put into words properly for it to make sense.

[b-blushes]

hater moment: everything happens so much + i'm so tired. and painful!

argh okay tomorrow i've gotta pick up my glasses in the afternoon BUT i booked it for after i normally lay down so should be safe to do nothing all morning and lay down if i need to and then go. and hopefully it should be so easy and everyone will be niceys and then i will be HOME once again. WITH new reading glasses so it'll take less energy to see 👍 next week the only reason i should need to leave the house is to get a haircut so hopefully will be less sick by then and also after then, due to 'only' one out of the house thing plus housework plus physical therapy (if i'm even able to do that). one thing about chronic illness is that it's is so so so chronic and also illness what's up with that! tbh! I don't wanna live like this! :( but also after THAT have more tests and then (booing for the fact that it will now be happening on the week i deliberately blocked out to rest) another drs appointment. perhaps they will have some progress for me. hopefully my tests will reflect how bad i am feeling and will mean they can authorise a new treatment that my consultant suggested a couple of weeks ago that might temporarily but quickly help things! just gotta take it one hour or day at a time i guess! there is extremely little that i can cut out to reduce the amount i'm doing now so like. this has gotta work :P but tomorrow is a new day! don't have to do physical chores like i had to today and also won't have gone out the day before so! there is hope for a nice and chill water off a duck's back onto better things thursday! :P