#hopefully i wont lie awake and think about this because it makes me sad

[clowngremlin]

one of my childhood best friends who i had a falling out with a few years ago came up as a recommended friend on fb and i feel weird and kind of sad about it....i wish i could apologize to them without it being weird because we had a falling out because i was extremely mentally unwell at the time and some other things that weren’t really my fault, namely they were like in love with me and i didnt feel the same way but i was also shitty person to have been around at the time so i get why they stopped talking to me

[leftenant-sinani]

Tales from Grudgewill - Love of Our Lord  Chapter 3

Third chapter is born, kamaraden, this time it will be a bit shorter. Do not worry, though, the next chapter will be so long, that i will even perhaps make two parts from it. As always, if there are some mistakes, i apologize deeply, but hopefully there wont be any. This time i took a different approach, so i want to warn you that there is mild gore and psychological torture included. Just so you know. It was originally meant to be just a simple short thing, but it got far longer than i expected, so i made it as chapter on its own, and you all at least will get to finally see Watcher in action for the first time. Anyhow, once again, thanks for the support and i also thank these wonderful people, thanks to them, this project is moving forward. I love you all.  @witharsenicsauce @avengercommander @myrddinderwydd @smixcom

Chapter III : An Answer

The Lord was sitting in front of his table, scribbling something on a sheet of paper, it looked like a poet. A very rough poet. Valnin knew that it's bad, he never had that poetic or writer's talent, he was good at talking to people, persuading them or even flirting. But writing? No, it was always very difficult for him to make at least something decent. He wasn't like his brother Anedran, who wrote series of books, not to mention they're pretty popular in Morrowind. He sighed, shifting in the chair to make himself comfortable. He closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that his parents were okay, since he heard that Vvardenfell wasn't really the safest place at the moment. Rumors about long forgotten Sixth House, The House Dagoth rising and such things. He found it more than worrisome and he really wanted to visit Vvardenfell, but he couldn't just leave his hut unwatched when this village is known to have a little guild of thieves. "Of all villages in Morrowind you could choose, and you chose the one with thieves, Trildyn." He told himself. He looked out of the window for a moment, watching those two moons glittering on the night sky, quietly praying to Azura for his parents to be safe. Once he finished the quiet prayer, he started to focus on the silence. It helped him to calm down, and clear his head of uncomfortable thoughts. He sighed yet again, this time it was a sigh of relief, as he felt somewhat better. He was starting to slowly fall asleep on the chair as it was getting really late for him. So he blew out the candle, took off the upper part of his clothes, and then fell into bed. He covered himself in the sheets, shifting into a comfortable sleeping position, and before he fell asleep, Valnin suddenly felt a familiar cold feeling, like there was someone... or perhaps something with him. It was so intense, that it sent shivers down his spine. He quickly got up, starting to scan the room... there was nothing. He then realized that maybe it was that uncomfortable cold wind. Valnin got to the window, and as he was about to close it, he took another long glance at the moons. It was truly beautiful sight, it was filling him with peace, he could watch it for hours. However, that feeling was shattered when he turned around. Valnin saw a dark figure standing in front of his bed, all he could see on it, was those piercing greenish eyes. It was the Watcher himself. That dark, cold feeling coming from him was filling the whole room. "Do you truly miss this life, I wonder?" The Watcher said. Valnin was just standing frozen on place, not capable of saying a single word. "Do you think that this would be better? Having a job as mercenary, risking your life for coin. And yet, you barely had for living. Is that the life you loved so much?" The Watcher asked him. Valnin wanted to reply, but something was keeping him from talking. "I know what you are about to say. We both know that it would be a lie. You keep forgetting that I can see your every move, hear your every thought, that I can sense your feelings. And right now... right now, you are feeling unsure and scared. You are asking yourself if this all is real." The dark man said in almost trance-like fashion. Valnin just looked into the floor for a while as he realized that this was probably all just a dream.... or was it? If it was, it felt way too real. "I am not going to asnwer any of your questions you have." The Watcher said coldly. He then continued in his speech "Besides one. Once you will get the answer, perhaps you will start appreciate your new life a little bit more.". And once he finished, everything went black.

Valnin tried to slowly open his eyes, but they kept closing on their own. He felt weak, unable to move a single bit, yet he felt like he was being moved. As he regained consciousness, he quickly felt a strong headache, like something heavy had hitted him in his head. He could not see much as he had probably something on his face to prevent him from seeing. However, he overheard two people talking, both had male voices. "... but besides that, are we really sure that it's him we want to kill?" The first man said. "Yes, it is him. According to the description, the target should have Telvanni markings on the body, and this was the only one from the entire village who has them." The second one replied. The first one sighed "Was it really necessary to burn the whole village because of one cursed elf?". "We got paid to do it. Supposed to be message or something. I just hope the rest of our men did not run into any trouble, because i know them far too well." The second one said with slightly worried voice. "Still, why didn't we kill him right away if he is the real target?" The first one asked, most probably concerned judging by the way he talked. "The client said, that he will be the one who will kill him if he will survive the fire, so we are now delivering him." The second man replied. "This is all one big mess. I just hope we got rich payment." The first man sighed yet again. "Trust me that we got paid more than fairly. Once this is done, maybe we should-" Valnin lost his attention as he was fading all over again. He tried to stay awake, but he couldn't really resist, and before he realized it, his eyes closed and everything went black for a while again. Poor Valnin woke up violently as someone has punched him with a great force. Valnin felt how his nose broke, his heart racing, his vision slightly blurred and all he could hear was that uncomfortable humming in his ears. He then looked up on the person who punched him. He did recognize the person, it was another Dunmer he met on one mercenary job. "I assume you do know me, don't you?" The Dark Elf man said. Valnin just slowly nodded. "Good. Because I want my face to be the last thing you will see, you blazed bastard." The man said angrily, and without warning, he punched Valnin yet again. The man had a strength of two Nords, at least it felt like that. The humming was getting stronger, and so was the pain, Valnin just coughed as he wanted to speak "Listen... I am really sorry for what I-" he coughed again, this time it felt almost like someone was kicking him in his stomach, but he continued nevertheless "... for what I did to your brother, but I did not have much choice. I had a job, and he was in my way. He tried to kill me, so I had to defend myself.". That did not have any effect however, as the other Dark Elf continued to glare daggers into him "You being sorry will not bring them back. You just murdered him in cold blood!" he cried. Valnin then realized what Watcher meant with that answer... it was an answer to the question of what would happen if he wouldn't accept his offer that day. But he did not understand it, was it a dream that felt way too real? Or was it alternate reality, and once he get to the end, he will wake up in his castle again? He coughed once more, feeling that horrible pain. "And... what about that village?" Valnin asked. The man just stood there, still frowning "I told them to burn the village, hoping that you would die in fire. I also told them to bring you here if you would survive. At least I can kill you personally if anything.". "And what about those people your mercenaries killed? You made whole village burn for one life. Who is cold-blooded murderer then?" Valnin told him in serious voice. The Dunmer looked at him with an strange expression... something between sadness and anger "I always get what I want, Valnin. I always do. And I do not care if it will kill one person, or half of Morrowind. It is your fault after all, this all could've been prevented, if you did not kill my brother. Those people could've lived right now if you just would choose a different way, Valnin.". Valnin felt that this was one of those people, bloodthirsty fanatics, who wouldn't stop in front of anything just to get their revenge, even if it would kill them. He felt guilty about it all when the other Dunmer said it like that. "So what, you're just going to kill me?" Valnin asked with a bit of desperation in his voice. "What did you expect, Valnin? Do you think that the lives of those people that had to die because of you are enough for me? Wrong. At least it will be a message to those, who will try to cross my path again. That I am not a man to be trifled with. And your death will bring me inner peace." The man said in uptight voice. None of this made sense to Valnin... this person had to be mad or something. Was this dream getting exaggerated? Or was it even a dream? He wasn't sure with anything at the moment, if any of this was real. Maybe the truth was somewhere in the middle, as the pain felt real, but the surrounding did not. He felt like he was going insane... or was he already? Thousands of thoughts was going in his head, it was like a maze his mind couldn't get out of. But before he could think of anything else, he felt how the hand of the other Dunmer grabbed him by the chin. The looked into each other's eyes for a second, and within a matter of second, the man stabbed Valnin's left side of his neck. He wanted to scream out of agony, but all he could do, was mildly choking as blood was slowly coming into his mouth. He felt the end of the blade inside his throat, but that feeling was slowly going away when he started fading out from this hopefuly fictional world. He continued to choke, coughing out his own blood, but the other man didn't have enough, and he finished it by slitting Valnin's entire throat. Valnin's eyes were forced shut as he released his last breath... and everything blacked out for the final time.

The Lord woke up covered in sweat, all he could hear was his heavy breathing and the fast beating of his heart. He quickly roamed his neck with hand, expecting to feel a scar, yet nothing was there, it was without a single scar like nothing has happened at all. He would swear that he still felt it, but it was just an illusion. He tried to calm himself down for good few minutes and when he did, he could not fall asleep anymore as he was scared to death despite the fact it was still a night. "Damn you, Watcher." He said under his breath, even when he knew that he is probably going to regret it sooner or later.

This is the end of the chapter III, and i want to give you a little mind-boggling question... Do you think it was all just very bad nightmare... or perhaps an insane alternate reality?

[lamepotter]

au where Harry fell in love with a muggle

she lives in the apartment complexes just outside the neighborhood with her mom and little sister

au where Harry starts volunteering at the public library over the summer because they have air-conditioning and free snacks for their staff, and isn't it better than being not allowed in the house during the day?

au where Harry bumps into Emily the muggle at the library and they bond over a stack of sci fi books because Emily-"No I don't really like fantasy books or magic"-Perkins is new and different from anyone in his life at Hogwarts or in his life at Privet Drive

au where Emily starts volunteering too and Harry downplays how the Dursleys treat him when she asked about his family because of course she would ask

emily hears all about ron and hermione and she laughs at Harry's stories, but turns her nose up when he tells her about some of his teachers

he has to change things for her ears of course. emily thinks draco is a rich racist rather than a pureblood supremacist, and harry is famous because his parents were star athletes at his fancy boarding school etc

au where harry spends some of his summer nights on Emily's couch because the one time he forgets his sweater at the library, she decides to return it herself and witnesses dudley shoving him into the doorway, and vernon's yells, and the slamming of doors

when emily finally got up the nerve to knock, its petunia who answers the door, and she can just tell that this woman isn’t the aunt harry talked about. emily’s mom understands harry’s situation and doesn't ask questions when harry showed up at 11 o'clock that night with a black eye and an owl cage

au where Harry falls in love with emily’s compassion and positivity because its refreshing after a school year of war and endless talk of Voldemort. the biggest thing on emily’s mind is how she’s going to get to uni, not whether or not she’ll make it to 18.

au where emily the muggle falls in love with the strange potter boy that works at the library and has a pet owl.

emily knows theres something big harry is dancing around but she knows better than to ask. weird things happen around him anyway, like the time she lost the charm on her necklace and spent half an hour walking around the library sidewalks looking for it, nearly driven to tears. harry's observant green eyes spotted it in less than a minute.

au where harry sends emily letters from hogwarts. she hears about Cedric dying in a freak sports accident. she hears about Umbridge and spends an entire night researching how to get a school teacher fired for discrimination and improper behavior. harry sends her candy with unfamiliar wrappers, and she trusted them all until one unforgettable toffee turned her breathe to smoke.

and then she begins to hear less from him

letters become scarce as the war that emily doesn’t know about gets worse. harry’s letters are monitored by the ministry, and after the dementor attack he's whisked away to "a long lost uncles house in the country". Sirius advised Harry not to keep contact because it could draw danger to her.

au where emily runs into him quite by accident in london right outside the leaky cauldron in the rain. she couldn't see the wizarding pub of course, but it was still surprising to Harry. Mrs. Weasley graciously gives him a few minutes to catch up with her, all the while looking around for death eaters who might happen upon them. This was just supposed to be a trip to get their school books.

emily doesn't know what to make of it. harry surrounded by unknown adults with strange clothing and words. she's happy to meet ron and hermione for the first time in person. and mad at harry for not telling her why he disappeared. "I thought you were really hurt!" she seethed, thinking of Dudleys tendency to pick on his cousin. Petunia Dursley refused to open the door to her now.

harry tells her he probably wont be able to see her til next summer and emily demands to know why. sirius nudges harry and they have to go theyre too vunerable out in the open and theres no time to say anything

so harry kisses her

right in front of ron and hermione, mrs Weasley, kingsley shacklebolt, sirius... Ron whistles and emily turns pink, but harry doesn't care. "Ill explain everything I promise". he says and he goes with them to the Leaky Cauldron. emily sees them all dissapear into thin air. She begins to cry and she doesnt know why. At least no one could tell in the rain.

au where sirius sends her the two way mirror in the mail anonymously. The only instruction was to send it back after she uses it. There's a dummy address attached that doesn’t show up on any maps. Harry activates it one evening while he's at school and scares the crap out of her. Shes confused because there arent any wires on the back and this isn't like any technology she's seen.

harry asks her not to question it and she hesitantly agrees. But Harry wont tell her whats been going on and emily is aware more than ever that there's a huge secret Harry isn't telling her. They talk almost every day through the mirror system, and that's when Emily begins to notice. harry would slip up and complain about nonsensical things.

"...was not ready for that pop quiz in Transfiguration, I copied of Hermione-"

"-Transfiguration?"

"-I mean history! Stupid history pop test. I swear..."

and he'd go on before she could ask more.

"Snape was a troll today!" he vented once. It was little terms like that that struck her as odd. Usually Harry was able to explain these little things away.

Until Seamus and Dean decided to have a duel in the his dorm. All Emily could see was bright red flashes and green explosions while boys yelled ancient latin phrases in the background. Harry shut off the mirror as soon as he could and ignored her attempts to call back.

His official excuse was someone set off a firework in his dorm. Emily didn't believe it for a second.

"Look, Emily, I really care about you," said Harry, and Emily blushed remembering that rainy day in london. They hadn't talked about it since.

"But there's some things I can't tell you." he hesitated. "Not yet at least."

Emily bit her lip.

"Can you at least let me know when you're in trouble, or hurt?"

harry was going to lie, but something in emilys tone made harry realize this was a deal breaker. He nodded once and brushed his dark unruly hair aside, revealing that curious lightning shaped scar. She nodded to herself and admitted,

"I really miss you."

Things got weirder after that. Harry talked to her more about what was going on but continually referenced 'the thing I can't tell you about'. Emily was frustrated. But she held her tongue. The school year seemed to go by so slowly.

au where harry comes home after his sixth year and knows nothing will ever be the same. Seeing Emily in person instead of the mirror was like he had taken a vial of felis felicius all over again. Harry spent the night on Emily's couch again but this time with Emily right next to him. Harry told her about what had happened to Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers.

"...and then he fell from the tower."

Emily held his hand. She assumed suicide and Harry wasn't going to correct her.

"Some of Draco's family came in. Totally torched the great hall."

Harry sounded so sad and broken all Emily could do was nod and hug him. They fell asleep like that, intertwined together, feeling complete for the first time in awhile. Harry woke first when Emily's mum left for work early in the morning. She gave him a knowing look and pointed to the bread box which had two muffins inside.

Harry couldn't go back to sleep so he stayed awake listening to Emily breathe. He had missed her so much. And this last year had put things into perspective.

au where harry realizes his 17th birthday meant he was leaving Privet Drive. and hopefully forever. Hermione was planning on obliviating her parents and sending them to a different continent. Ron was going off the grid and his family had a clone set up to take over his identity.

He knows the right thing to do.

au where harry spends his last summer in Surrey with Emily. They date properly and go to London for lunch with money Emily saved. They see cheap films at the dollar theater. Harry has nothing but stories for her. He sketches her favorite animals and folds paper into tiny stars. She keeps them all in a jar.

au where harry celebrates his birthday early in his bedroom with Emily and Hedwig. They sit on the dusty floor and blow out candles on a discount cake that was squashed in the middle. It was perfect.

au where Harry gives Emily a necklace from diagon alley even though it was his birthday they were celebrating and she definitely protested. A tiny golden snitch with silver wings went around her neck. Emily thought it was strange but she didn't ask because it was Harry's and it was beautiful.

they spent the next day together, hardly not touching one another in some way. Harry had a hand on her back when they walked around the library--the place they first met. Emily stroking his hair when they picnicked in the park. They held hands for days.

au where the eve of Harry's 17th birthday--his actual birthday--he takes her back to her apartment complex and they sit on the curb. Emily can tell Harry was sad about something.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"I have something to tell you, Em." he sighed. "That thing I'm not supposed to tell you. Please, you have to keep an open mind. You see, I'm a..."

au where Harry told her everything. Emily listened carefully as he went over his entire teenage years. It all made sense and it terrified her. Harry had been in so much danger and he was so young and none of it was fair.

"...Hermione is going to obliviate her parents so they aren't targeted, which is really smart. Ron's in enough danger so his family is pretending he's sick and bedbound while we hunt for horcruxes."

Emily started. "Hunt for h-horcruxes? how long will you be gone?"

She didnt like the pain in his eyes.

"Harry?"

he didnt answer.

she gripped his arm and he looked down. He kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know if I'll even make it, Em." he admitted, saying the words out loud felt funny. but they were true.

"Harry-"

"And you're in danger as long as you know me."

"Harry-"

"And you can't protect yourself. And you have your sister and mother-"

"Harry James Potter!"

"This is the only way I can think of to k-keep you safe..." his voice broke in the middle and emily could hear the sob in his throat.

Emily was already crying. "Harry James Potter do not forget me!"

Harry held her tight. "Its more like a you-won't-remember-me kind of deal, love." Harry whispered.

"N-None of this is f-fair." she hiccuped. "You shouldn't have to do this. You can't just--I can't forget you."

au where Harry has to obliviate his muggle girlfriend

Harry let his wand slip from his shirt sleeve. He held her as she shook and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Emily. I wish it could be different."

"Harry-"

"Obliviate..."

She stilled suddenly and Harry knew the spell worked. He withdrew his arm from around her and wiped his eyes. It was done. Irreversible. Harry kissed her cheek cringing at how lifeless she felt. He stood up and looked down at her frozen form sadly.

"I think I love you." he mumbled.

Emily was stirring so he slipped his wand in his back pocket.

Au where emily has a fuzzy recollection of dating some neighbor boy but it ended badly and stuff like that was best left forgotten right?

Au where emily stands up in front of a boy that she had known for almost nine years and didn’t recall any of it.

"Uh, hi. Excuse me, you're that Potter kid right?" Emily stood up sleepily. Her smile faltered when she saw Harry's stricken face.

"Jeez, are you alright?" she asked, her normally warm face full of worry and concern.

"Uh yea." Harry cracked a sad smile. "Just broke up with my girlfriend."

Her face contorted in sympathy. "Oh that's too bad! How long were you together?"

Harry almost lost it then. But he couldn’t--not yet. He forced himself to answer while she was still plastic and taking suggestions.

"A-About two years. We've been best friends since we were kids though."

"I'm sorry, mate." Emily reached up to brush her face and felt the tears she had been crying only moments before. "Whoa, why am I crying?"

"You just broke up with your boyfriend too. Kind of a weird bloke." he laughed shakily. “He had to go fight a war.”

"Oh. Am I sad about it? I don't feel sad."

"A little. But you don't want to talk about it." he replied simply.

"I don't want to talk about it." she repeated wiping the tears away and smiling a fake smile.

"It's getting late. You should go inside now."

"Okay." she said. "Sorry about your break up, Potter."

"Bye, Emily." he called, turning away before he lost it completely.

au where Harry loved a muggle that had to forget him