#hopefully i will stick to this theme for a month and more

[particular-one]

caved in and finally made a dan heng il theme for this blog…. hes just my favorite silly lil guy! 😞☝️

[moonpascaltoo]

.

[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch. 1

ch. 2

ch. 3

ch. 4

ch. 5

ch. 6

a/n: short first chapter 🫤 also BORING AS FOCK but the next few will be longer and better, just stick with me cw: implied depression/ptsd, dark themes, not too heavy but please don’t read if this might trigger you, angst, no smut in this chapter but there might be some later on, creds to cafekitsune for dividers, MDNI 😡

Six months ago today, your gaunt figure limped through Jackson for the first time, arms scarred and trembling, and face adorned with a vacant expression. You’ve been here for a while now.

You heard Maria say, with time, you’d come out of your shell - actually speak to the others. But, no, you still stay holed up in your decaying room, recalling what happened that day obsessively, and only ever leaving to go on patrol. Only when you absolutely have to.

God, you don’t even know if you can call this grief anymore. Seems as though you built a nest in the sorrow. Would it still be considered missing him if you desperately want to stop seeing his face whenever you close your eyes.

Fuck, don't say that. Never say that.

Promise I still love you, big brother. Promise I'd do anything to see you again.

Well, nobody really pays you any mind; you just sink into the shadows of the shitty little apartment you've been put in. And it doesn’t matter to you because the thought of getting close to people again makes you sick anyway.

Never wanna feel this pain. Never again. Fuck, just go away, please.

I'm so sorry, Soren.

You’ve waited it out for months but, at this point, you've given up hope. Feels like maybe it’s time to go be on your own. You know it’s dumb, but you haven’t got much to live for now that he’s gone.

Late night, you crawl into the comfort of misery, chaining yourself to each painful memory; you cannot leave a single shard behind. Not one.

You will carry this with you for the rest of your days.

Somewhere along the line, dark fades to light and your mind goes blank for the first time in an eternity as you get up to follow that same routine.

Today, same as yesterday, and yesterday's yesterday, and yesterday's yesterday's yesterday, etc., etc., your partner is Ellie.

Maria seems to think the two of you are acquaintances, especially since the extroverted people around your age hadn't been able to drag much more than a few words out of you, but you don’t really talk, you stay out of each other’s ways.

You struggle to keep the smile up against the pushback of your aching cheeks when you’re talking to other people. Can never let them see.

Not even for a good reason. God, it’s just such an effort to talk about. It’s better for it to just nestle in your mind, where it’s made it’s home, where it’s comfortable.

Maybe part of why you stay out of each other’s ways is because you'd inadvertently come off as a dick during your first encounter, which would've been enough to push the already closed off Ellie to not interact with you at all. You weren't actually being rude though; she's hopefully figured that out at this point. She probably just got used to the interactions between you; silence dusted with passive aggressive remarks.

But, she doesn’t say much when you freak the fuck out if a clicker comes at you in a way that brings back memories. You’re grateful, regardless of her reason for doing so.

Perhaps it's the thought of leaving that is the spur to prick your sudden violence and, now, even you can tell you're getting worse. The feeling - it ensnares you like a bear trap when you see a clicker, so you fire frantically at its head. Blood splatters all over your front and you pull at the hem of your shirt to get a better look, mumbling, "Shit..." when you see the white fabric soaked through with the clicker's blood; cold water to the face.

Among the chaos, you must have turned on your foot weirdly, because your ankle feels like a stake has been stabbed right through it with each movement and you don’t know if you can walk.

Ellie finally manages to trace the sound of the gunshot to you after calling your name in worry for the past couple of minutes, running over to you. She pulls you around and looks over your jittery body for anything to worry about - brushes a thumb over the wet material, jerking it away before you can notice; you’re hyper aware, so you always manage to anyway - and then furrows her brows at you.

“Can you stop fucking around?”

You nod apologetically,

"Sorry. Feeling a bit out of it today..."

She sighs, still clearly angry, and turns away, "Let's go. We’re done here.”

You watch her figure retreat as you mount your horse with shaky footing. The ride back is a silent one. Once you reach the gates, you get off and pat the horse’s side. It has a name; you never cared to learn it. Maybe you knew you couldn’t stick around for long.

“Come on. Why are you just standing there?"

When your eyes meet hers, you feel utterly pathetic, but you don't have much of a choice.

“Can you… find, like, a stick? A big one...”

She stays quiet for a moment, seemingly thrown off by your question, so you're quick to add,

“I would do it but... I don't know, fuck, never mind...”

Ellie raises an eyebrow at you, her line of sight flicking down to your ankle as she takes note of your awkward stance and mutters with a sigh that makes you feel small, "Pain in the ass," before shaking her head.

"Yeah, it looks pretty bad," Ellie says after she crouches down and touches the wound, eliciting a pained wince (and a farewell to your last shred of dignity) from you.

She rises to her feet and brushes herself off as you wait for more of a response.

"Stick, right? You want a stick?"

You nod with a clenched jaw. She keeps looking down at you and the constant anticipation is starting to piss you off.

"No, you gonna ask for what you really need?" she says. "And drop the whole ‘tough guy’ act?"

You chuckle dryly, turning your eyes to the floor.

"You ever considered that maybe I actually am just a tough guy?"

“Ha ha,” she states in monotone, “Think you gave away the fact that you're not when you started crying over a twisted ankle," to which you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Uh, okay, nothing you just said was true, but, sure. Sure.”

“Yeah? Come over here and say that with some heart then, tough guy.”

You manage to take a few steps before falling.

"Yeah, that’s what I thought. Gonna need to be carried back," Ellie says.

“What about the big ass stick?”

“What is i-Fuck. Listen, even if that helps, which it won’t, you’d wreck your ankle even more and everyone’d be on my ass about it. So, quit talking and get over here," she says, reaching over to lift you off the floor.

You grimace jokingly, but Ellie doesn’t pick on the humorous nature of your words, “Oh. No piggyback?”

Ellie sighs, turning and crouching in front of you before you get on.

"I swear to god, you're infuriating," she sneers. "Now put your arms around my neck."

You’re acting slightly outside the confines of your silent, gloomy self again, and pretend to strangle her, “Since you asked so nicely.”

And you laugh at your own joke as you properly wrap your arms around her neck

"I'm glad you're having a good time; at least one of us is enjoying ourselves,” she grits out but you can hear the repressed smile in her voice.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

"Good. Now shut up and enjoy the ride." Ellie says before turning her gaze back to the front.

As the two of you make your way through the fairly empty paths of Jackson, Ellie remains silent, her expression unreadable.

You keep your eyes focused on her, the small puff of air that leaves her mouth with each step, and staying quiet as your chin finds itself resting casually upon her shoulder

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Ellie finally speaks up again. Her voice is so close, the warmth of her breath and heat.

“You got them girls off your ass yet?”

“Who? The ones that are trying to... befriend me?”

“Mhm, the ones that you’re kinda friends with.”

“Yeah, they quit trying.”

"Don’t blame you… I mean, I can understand, but don’t make it too obvious.”

“I’d rather not-“

“Right, it’s just- well, if you want to be alone, fine. I… can even… make sure those assholes don’t bother you, or whatever- but, not on patrol! Don’t go wandering around on your own like that ever again. It’s dumb."

“I know, I just got caught up in the moment. Sorry.”

"Good."

A heavy silence befalls the two of you as she trudges on.

"Why are you so damn heavy?" she eventually mutters.

You lift your head off her shoulder reflexively, aware of your weight pulling her down all of a sudden,

“Sorry.”

Ellie looks over her shoulder at you, her eyebrows knitted in unexpected concern,

“Hey… I was kidding.”

“Right… I knew that…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever," she says. "Hm, look at that, we made it," gently patting your thigh before pushing the doors open. "Time to get off."

You slowly slide off her back, making sure to land on your good leg as you watch her search the area curiously in a waiting, one-footed stance.

She returns after a second, picking you up to place you on top of one of the quaint, makeshift hospital beds before she begins rummaging through the supplies. You watch her muscles flex and then, the sight of a woman you'd seen around captures your focus.

"What happened to her?" the woman asks, causing Ellie to lift her head, looking down at you.

"Twisted my ankle."

"Well, obviously," her tone is laced with sarcasm. "My question was how you twisted your ankle."

"Turned weird."

Your response earns you a bemused raise of her blonde eyebrows, "Alright, whatever," she says, pulling up a chair and sitting before you.

After a short, boring while, she lets go of your leg and looks up at you again,

"So, you got a sprain. I'm gonna have to wrap your ankle up, alright?"

A lock of her hair continuously pesters her as she begins carefully tending to your ankle, pulling fresh bandages taut around the injury.

"It's gonna stay sensitive for a few days," the woman states, "And you shouldn't walk on it for at least a week."

She places a hand upon Ellie's shoulder, pulling her out of the deep-end of her thoughts, and turning her away from you. A muffled, but aggressive, hushed conversation ensues between them as you glance around the room restlessly, only making out the irritated tone of Ellie's responses. It ends with her pinching her nose bridge and mumbling a, "Fine," and they're facing you again.

The woman gives the two of you a nod before exiting the room,

"You two be safe out there."

“Alright. I’ll take you home. Now, get on," she turns, arms out, backpack on her front, as she waits for you to get onto her back again.

The route to your place is short and quiet as night blankets the world, or what’s left of it. Before you know it, she's pushing open the door and setting you down on yet another tattered bed - your own.

You hiss at the contact your ankle makes with the bed, but Ellie seems unfazed, patting your thigh in the same way she did before, the way that made your stomach twist,

“You gonna be okay?”

You nod, though her deadpan tone doesn’t leave much room for the honest truth.

“Alright, well… I’ll get going, then.”

There’s a stark contrast in life between her coming and going; the constant rustling of the fabric of her coat and the sound of her heavy winter boots against your creaky floorboards, the sound of her sniffles and low voice, and the flurry of gusts of nippy winds whistling - all shut out with the cold of the outside once she closes the door behind her. Well, most of it.

Now, you’re left with the bite of cold air and the deafening silence that haunts you as you sit still upon your mattress with darkness cast over the room, seeming to melt everything together.

[prokopetz]

I have a pinned post for my games in development, but it doesn't really describe what they're about, and apparently this is something we're doing today, so:

My games in development, in rough order of priority:

(Note: all of these have public playtest drafts behind the links.)

Eat God

A game about weird little anarchist muppets with reality-warping powers themed after classic Looney Tunes gags wandering around a classic sword-and-sorcery fantasy setting stirring up trouble. Roughly 50% character creation rules by volume, with provisions for randomising every part of it; the linked draft, above, includes an online character generator if you want to play with it. The mechanics are a sort of elaborated spiritual successor to Costume Fairy Adventures, a game whose development I headed up about a decade ago.

Current status: actively writing, hopefully zeroing in on a feature-complete playtest draft within the next month or two.

Tiny Frog Wizards

One of my customarily literal titles, this is a game where you play as wizards who are tiny frogs. Features elaborate semi-freeform rules for casting spells, lots of big stupid random tables for when spells go off the rails, and absolutely no mechanics for anything that isn't casting a spell; it's a very focused sort of game. Narratively, it's a game about being an overpowered little twerp sticking your nose into other people's problems and offering solutions no-one asked for. Portions of the rules crib shamelessly from @jennamoran's Nobilis 3rd Edition, for which I offer acknowledgement but no apologies.

Current status: development of the text has been set aside for the moment to work on visual identity, with an eye toward crowdfunding an expanded hardcover edition later in the year.

Space Gerbils

A tactical mecha combat game with a very silly twist: the entirety of the tactical positioning occurs inside the mecha, because the game's premise is basically "what if instead of the Big Reveal at the end of Metroid (1986) being that Samus Aran is secretly a girl, Samus Aran was secretly 3–5 small gerbil-like creatures operating a person-size mech suit?" Players engage in positional jockeying and resource management to determine which stations they're crewing within the suit, which is boiled down to a single roll of the dice to determine what happens outside the suit. Includes papercraft minifigs.

Current status: essentially feature-complete, apart from some character creation options and a planned random mission generator; this will likely be the next game I crowdfund after Tiny Frog Wizards.

Indie RPG Prompt Generator [working title]

Essentially a joke that got out of hand, this is a big set of random tables of common indie RPG tropes that you can roll on to generate a description of a hypothetical game, complete with specific rules toys and setting beats. I probably could have finished this up already, but I decided to include examples of each rolled element, which turned into this big hairy research project I'm not able to give adequate attention to right now. If you've got a game of your own that you think would be a good fit for a presently unfilled example slot, please, let me know!

Current status: plugging away at it in bits and pieces as I'm able.

Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat

This is an anthology consisting of three minigames: the eponymous Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat, which is self-explanatory; Unfamiliar, in which you play as uncooperative wizards' familiars; and System Crash, in which you play as malfunctioning robots. More a series of formal experiments in character creation and group composition than proper full-featured games, all share the same core mechanics, with milieu-specific addons of varying practicality; for example, System Crash has specific rules for which senses each player is allowed to use when asking the GM for information, because it's completely possible to have a group in which only one of the robots can see. Large portions of Unfamiliar were later re-used in Eat God, above.

Current status: I have a list of notes as long as your arm on planned changes to integrate into the text, and I'm confident I'll get around to doing so one of these years.

Gone to Hell

Literally a Doom (2016) pastiche as a Belonging Outside Belonging game, which is just as silly an idea as it sounds; grown out of an earlier 24-hour RPG called Doomguy. The central conceit is that there's only a single player character, with players taking turns assuming the role of the Slayer, while everyone else takes ownership of the various hostile factions comprising the game's conspiratorial twelve-car pileup of a plot. Lots of pontificating about the implicit power structures of tabletop RPG groups. This one probably needs a full rewrite in order to lend a bit more formal structure to the "one player character, many GMs" conceit than out-of-the-box BOB offers.

Current status: I have not looked at this game in three years, which is actually a really long time for me.

Rotate Bird

Another of my "is this a formal experiment or a real game" titles, this one revolves around constructing characters out of abstract symbols, which are interpreted during play to retroactively define what your character is actually capable of doing. Even the title seen above is an interpretive approximation; strictly speaking, the game is called 🔄🐦. Possibly the most shitposty game I've ever written, which is saying something, but based on playtest feedback it seems functional.

Current status: the only reason this is listed as lower in priority than Gone to Hell is because I genuinely don't know what to do with it. It's probably publishable, with some cleanup editing and graphic design, but it feels like there's something missing. I'm open to suggestions!

Get in the Fucking Robot

A pamphlet-size, competitive, GMless title that's at least as much a board game as it is a tabletop RPG, this one is about a bunch of dysfunctional candidate mecha pilots competing to be the first to pilot the titular giant robot. The game is played under misère conditions: while each character's IC goal is to pilot the robot, each player's OOC goal is to avoid that fate, with the player whose character actually Gets in the Fucking Robot being accounted the loser.

Current status: playtesting suggests the current framework of play doesn't actually work – like, at all – so this one needs to go all the way back to the drawing board; I don't feel like doing that any time soon, which puts it squarely at the bottom of the list.

[bruhstation]

assorted 2x3x4 stuff from a few months ago (except the last one! it’s recent! it’s a limbus company AU I’m working on)

also a small life update under the cut

hi! it’s been a while since I last uploaded art or anything cstm-related. the truth is that I’m a college student now! yay! I’m studying to become a doctor too! double yay! I’ve been feeling much at home here rather than at high school to be honest XD and it’s great to have the privacy I desired compared to my dormitory life many months ago. the big city I currently reside in (I’m a country boy lol) also gives me a lot of cool places to visit, cool people to meet. I’ve been doing well, maybe a bit on the mental side? haha, it’s just the first week of uni, so I won’t get way too hopeful, but one’s gotta be optimistic

but with university comes a lot of homeworks!! not as much as in high school, but I get home late and I have to think about lots of things other than homeworks, like cleaning the apartment, cooking, etc. I’ve been busy both with my personal life and my social life in uni. I’m also currently hyperfixated on my ocs and welcome home, and lately I’ve been trying to slow down on drawing too much and avoiding burnout (also some things regarding the ttte community but atp it’s just a long lost memory and I prefer to think about the better stuff).

I have many drawing ideas for casa tidmouth, a few fanfics planned too, but I’m whittling at it all, bit by bit, at a pace I desire. hopefully, I can fully return to bruhstation later and gain my footing again. I love my story, I love my friends here, I love my supporters. I’ll just take my sweet sweet time.

thanks a lot for sticking around!

oh, I’ve also been reading more books. a LOT of them!! I think they’re a good way to expand the way I weave the themes in my story, and they’re so good. demian, the stranger, 1984, wuthering heights, moby dick... do check them out someday!!!

[kaminocasey]

Oh my, your post about Tech's soft voice got me swooning! (It's true though, he has a lovely voice) So, if it's alright with you, I'd like to make a request for a fluffy Tech x Reader fic. Maybe it's one of your first times sleeping in the same bed as Tech, and in the morning, he really doesn't want to let you go. He so rarely gets this kind of affection, so he's just holding you, whispering sweet nothings trying to get you to stay. Thank you so much, you deserve all the love and praise!

Hi! I'M SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! (Literally 9 months, I'm the worst lol, please forgive me!) I'm gonna try to get back to a point where I can open my requests again!

I got hit with massive writer's block for Tech and then After that finale, it got harder and harder to write for him lol. Hopefully this makes up for it? I got a sort of idea for a series... so Lemme know if you think it's something you guys would want??

Soft Mornings

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; smut-ish? suggestive themes

Taglist Form

You feel Tech’s warm body against yours before you open your eyes, snuggling against his chest more, your bottom brushing up against his length. 

“Good morning, darling.” He chuckles, softly, kissing your neck. 

Your previous night had been so perfect. Better than anything you could’ve ever imagined. Parts of it start to flood your memory, making your face go warm. 

“Good morning.” You bring his hand to your lips and he snuggles his nose into the crook of your neck. “How did you sleep?” 

You’d been slightly afraid that Tech wouldn’t be able to sleep well since he’s never slept next to another person before and you know how much he enjoys his space. But when you’d offered to go back to your bunk, he’d only pulled you close to him, bringing the covers up over the both of you and asked you to stay.

“I think I slept better than I’ve ever slept before.” He admits and then starts to smile. “I’m afraid I will not be able to sleep alone now.”  

“Oh no. How awful. Guess I better take up permanent residence here.” You laugh. 

He chuckles again and you roll over to face him. 

“Hi.” You smile up at him.

“Hello.” He smiles back, his voice still soft and raspy in a sleepy way, making you melt like putty. 

His hair is sticking up in different directions and you imagine yours is too, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Kissing him softly, you run your hands up to cup his face, which is starting to feel slightly stubbly from not having shaved in a few days. You take note of how good the five o’clock shadow looks on him.

“I’ve got work soon.” You sigh against his lips.

His sigh matches yours. “Don’t go.” 

You laugh, softly. “I have to.” He wraps his arms around your lower back, pulling you up against him. “I’m sure I could persuade you to stay.” 

“Try.” You whisper. 

He pushes you onto your back and hovers above you, smiling so softly down at you. “All I’ve wanted since meeting you is to wake up next to you. It’s a new feeling for me… But getting to wake up next to you, and seeing how absolutely endearing you are with ‘bedhead’ and your sleepy voice, makes me want nothing more than to do this every morning.”

You look up at him, wide eyed at his confession. Tech’s not been one for being forthright with his emotions, so this is new. And it melts your heart. You’d love to hear him tell you these sweet nothings every day. 

As if he can read your thoughts, he kisses you again. “I know I don’t speak about how I feel a lot… but I feel safe here… with you.” 

Your chest tightens and you pull him toward you, crushing your lips to his. He groans softly, his hand sliding down to grip your hip, anchoring you to him and the bed.

“Let me convince you to stay.” He murmurs, kissing your neck.

“I don’t need any more convincing.” You smile with a hum. “I’ll call in and we can stay in bed all day.” 

“Sounds lovely.” He nuzzles his nose against your jaw as he presses his growing length up against your already eager warmth, making you gasp softly.

“Maybe you could use… other incentives to make me stay.” You tease him and he chuckles, darkly, catching on immediately.

“Say no more, darling.” He nods as he shows you just how much he loves waking up next to you. 

You really could get used to this… perhaps one day, he’d leave the war and battles behind to be safe here in this bed with you… where nothing bad could happen to him, and you wouldn’t have to worry so much every time he leaves. 

Perhaps, he’ll choose these soft mornings with you, too.

TAGS:

EVERYTHING @twistedstitcher27 @rebel-finn @rexandechosandwich @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @idledreams @redheadgirl @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaw @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3 @queen-of-many-fandoms @wizardofrozz  @burningfieldof-clover @rebelsriley

[hexagonspress]

BE by tothewillofthepeople

Grantaire is earnest in this, and it’s heartbreaking. Enjolras can’t look away. This is just a rehearsal. Grantaire is still wearing skinny jeans. They have lights and phones and textual analysis and thousands of years of history between now and then and yet– When Grantaire speaks, the distance collapses. (Grantaire as Hamlet.)

Title: Middle Ages Deco Headers/Accents: Letter Gothic Standard Body text: Adobe Caslon Pro Case title: Goudy Initialen

38,667 words | 224 pages

Binderary book 1: a long-favourite EXR fic. I love wild Les Mis AUs and I love Shakespeare and this is all of that in such a lovely lovely form. Stage manager Enjolras is inspired. Also, I've been frothing at the mouth to use my special blackletter fonts and go suuuper overboard designing and this was Perfect for that purpose.

More pictures/design/process under the cut.

Design and Construction Case: Flat-back case binding with bradel board covers and spine. The spine cloth is Hollander's pearl linen in charcoal grey. The painted titles were done in Amsterdam acrylic ink in silver, with a pair of scissors because I don't own a painting brush and likely never will. The cover papers are printed on 80gsm white printer paper and glued with a regular Elmer's glue stick and PVA on the turn-ins, and the whole case is sprayed with workable fixatif to (hopefully) preserve it longer-term.

Covers: The front and back covers were designed in Photoshop. The centre image is a William Morris pattern, and the top and bottom little circles are Renaissance printer's ornaments (pngs by the lovely @helle-bored of Renegade Bindery) that I vectorized in Illustrator (Illustrator and I were sworn enemies until this month. Now we're forced friends. Like enemies to lovers).

Insides: Endpapers are a William Morris pattern recoloured in Photoshop to be a richer green and red, obv, for EXR. Printed with inkjet on 80gsm printer paper and glued to gold cardstock, and sewn into the textblock. Endbands are pre-sewn from Hollanders, dyed gold with acrylic ink to match the endpapers.

Typesetting Typeset was done in InDesign. This is a one-shot with scene breaks, so to match the theatre theme of the piece I replaced the horizontal line breaks with flagged scene numbers. I tried to strike a balance in the typesetting between classic Shakespearean aesthetic with the blackletter drop caps and cover fonts versus what you might see in a theatre script book with the monospace accents. The title spread uses a transparent decorative frame, again from Helle's collection; the large box in the middle with the title was part of the original frame and then I duplicated and resized it for the author name and my imprint.

We All Do It, or, the Mistakes Section I somehow managed to print the cover papers nine inches tall and didn't see a problem with it until they came off the printer. Truly who knows how that happened. I was working on the case at two in the morning and cut the spine cloth the wrong length three separate times...earned the measure once cut twice badge big time for that one. The endpapers were an ordeal and a half for real. What I learned: print them too big and glue the cardstock to the back, then trim the paper to size, not the other way around otherwise you'll end up with big ugly gaps where the trimming was a few millimeters off. Whoops.

And...more pictures

I'm particularly pleased with how the covers here came out so here's closeups. Also, the arc on the spine that you can see in the endband on the last one is really pleasing to me lol I fought a war trying to get the flatback hinge calculations right.

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson ‘Faith in the Future’ World Tour 2023

By: Steve Jennings (Photos and Text) | 11 AUG 2023

English singer-songwriter and former One Direction band member Louis Tomlinson is back out on the road in support of his second album, Faith in the Future. For his second world tour, he’s playing to an ever-growing audience—the crowd I witnessed could not get enough of him as evident from the adoring fans singing along to every word he sang. We spoke to Production Designer, Programmer, and Director Tom Taylor of TANCK about the tour.

Designer Tom Taylor started working on the current tour as the new album’s promo materials and aesthetics came to light. Taylor says it’s a more rugged and asymmetrical look than they’ve gone for before, meant to mirror a sort of dive bar aesthetic rather than a beautiful arena production. “This reflects the music off the latest album, which has a more grungy feel to it. There are touches in there such as the light boxes (loosely resembling the fluorescent lights of a nightclub toilet), and our custom camera housing (a hollowed out old VHS camcorder with a Marshall 4K camera inside) that bring it back to a more intimate venue feel than the true scale of the places we’re playing across the world.”

Taylor notes the show itself has definitely progressed and he would say feels more like a ‘show’ than a ‘gig‘ now; it has a start, middle, and end, with themes and segues to connect them throughout. “The video content is more to set a mood for the songs. We’re trying to stay away from anything too literal and obvious. This extends to the lighting programming as well where we largely refrain from hitting everything on the beat, fully ‘perfect’ timecoded hits throughout the rig. Hopefully the end result is that in those moments where we do go crazy with programming and rhythm, it’s much more interesting and stands out in the set.”

Since 2020, Taylor has worked with Francis Clegg on production design. They had worked together for about five years prior to that and have a complimentary skill set. “We’ve accelerated quite rapidly, taking on a design assistant in Jamie Lawrence and soon to have another member of the team joining,” Taylor says. “Whilst one of us is the company face to each artist or client, we work together 50/50 on every project behind the scenes. James Washer [Lighting Programmer] is often the first name on the team sheet when we pick up a show like this one… he just gets it; is a great programmer and time saving resource who knows how to interpret when I say something like ‘can the lights be a little more aggressive.’ Francis (Clegg) is also a fantastic programmer, so I was able to work alongside James in the rehearsals to finesse the previz programming.”

Although he’s on a MA Lighting grandMA3 surface, Taylor runs the show on MA2 software. The reason for that is because this tour goes everywhere in the world, and he knows he can get an MA2 anywhere without having to lug around small form consoles himself. Taylor much prefers to take a USB stick through an airport. “We are running a lot of things through the desk—lighting, video, camera switching, and automation. The MA makes this easier to deal with and the fixture cloning system is excellent, so I know I’m going to get a good replica of the show no matter what fixtures I get thrown wherever we go.”

The venue sizes this time around sort of called for a video element to be added, Taylor says. “The focus of the show is, of course, Louis, so plenty of close-up camera work to amplify his emotion. These are treated with overlays and masks created by [content creators] Two Suns and ourselves, with 3D animation work coming from Boxcat Studio. The whole system is run on a Resolume server. Camera switching is done from the MA console via Open Control, which sends OSC messages to the ATEM switcher, which ultimately sends it to the capture cards. This way we eliminate a touring video director (sorry!) and save a bunch of truck space on outboard equipment. The system works extremely well.”

Colour Sound Experiment out of London is the tour lighting, video, and rigging company. “We use them for a large portion of our shows. It’s very useful dealing with just one company who ‘do it all’ but also don’t cut any corners or scrimp to get the job done. The equipment is well maintained with a good selection of inventory to choose from.” Taylor says it probably took them about three iterations to get to the point they’re at now, keeping ideas from the previous versions until they got somewhere they were all happy with. “It was a bit of a process, but a great payoff. I should probably thank Louis and his Manager, Matt Vines, for their patience in putting it all together. There are a lot of (literally) moving parts to the stage with winches, light boxes, light bulbs, and our shuttering set piece at the back. Ultimately the show is dynamic and exciting, but all the elements sit nicely together as well.” Taylor was a bit unsure on using the GLP X4 Bars across the back because of the brightness difference to GLP’s FR10, for example, but they are exactly the right brightness for this gig without being overpowering, he says. “My absolute favorite moment of the show, where we have some crazy iridescent hyper color animation, is driven by the Ayrton Huracans… amazing lights, just don’t try to pick one up by yourself, they’re beasts!”

Tomlinson was really involved in the design of this one, and also much more open to trying new things and delivering a narrative through the show, adds Taylor. “Matt Vines should have a shout out for his contribution to the ‘ideas factory’ and being a great sounding board as we developed the show. PM Craig Sherwood has been incredible as always, never asking ‘why’ we want to make it look like a derelict bathroom, just making it happen. Finally, the tour’s secret weapon, technical maestro Sam Kenyon, who is quite literally irreplaceable, has been an excellent resource for actually delivering the show in the real world day after day.”

Production Team

Tour Manager: Tom Allen

Production Manager: Craig Sherwood

Production Design, Programmer & Director: Tom Taylor & Francis Clegg, TANCK

Lighting Programmer: James Washer

Lighting Crew Chief: James Box

Lighting Techs: Rick Carr, Amy Barnett

Stage Manager: Torin Arnold

Technical Manager: Sam Kenyon

Video Crew Chief: Dave Mallandain

Video Programmer: Jack Fone

Video Techs: Tim Curwen, Braden Pettigrew

Camera Operators: Mark Lawrence, Braden Pettigrew, Tim Curwen

Rigger: Mark Lawrence

Vendors

Lighting/Video/Rigging: Colour Sound Experiment/Acc. Rep. Haydn Cruishank

LED Trim: LED Creative

Custom Light Housings: OX Event House

Set Construction: Hangman UK

Video Content: Two Suns Creative, Boxcat Studio, TANCK

SFX: BPM SFX

Gear

Lighting

2 MA Lighting grandMA3 full-size

19 Ayrton Eurus Profile

6 Ayrton Huracan LT Profile

5 Claypaky Mini-B

12 Robe Spiider

72 GLP X4 Bar 20

16 GLP JDC Line 1000

10 GLP JDC1 Strobe

12 CHAUVET STRIKE Array 4

2 Chroma-Q Color Force II 12

16 Elumen8 COB PAR Endura

10 LEDJ Spectra Q15

3 Robe BMFL RoboSpot

Video

2 Resolume Server

23 Custom LED Trim

6 Video Screens, 2.5m x 2.5m

7 Marshall 503 Camera

3 Panasonic UE70 PTZ Camera

2 Blackmagic Design URSA G2 Camera

[dolldefiler]

Update, update, update.

This is long and boring so feel free to skip this :)

Hello, hello, everyone. I've got a couple of things to throw out there so let's begin with some good news. I joined Tumblr on 23rd January and it's almost been a month now. In that time, I've received a fair number of followers and notes which is pretty crazy (I don't know why the new followers != total followers). Considering the themes I write around, I figured I'd primarily get a bunch of hate mail (which I have, but the love I've received has drowned that out), so thank you!

I did also pop up a Ko-fi link on my bio briefly. Someone sent me some money (thank you btw) and then I took it down because I felt bad. There are definitely more charitable causes in the world than some guy who writes out his fantasies. Never mind, I've received a bunch of DMs and asks telling me to keep it up (which is crazy to me because why would you give anyone money for content when you can consume it for free). I'll pop it back up when I feel like I've written enough to justify it, which I think is a suitable compromise.

Now onto the bad news. I've been away for a few days and my upload speed will continue to be slow for the foreseeable future. It is a little difficult to juggle acting like a rapist online when you're getting brutally raped by constant university deadlines. I'll still post, but probably not at the rate I was going at before... Unless I decide I want to procrastinate my work.

Also, regarding DMs and Asks, I'll rewrite those sections in my intro post because I've come back to about 100 additional asks in 3 days, and a slightly smaller number of DMs. If I don't answer you, it's not because I hate you, I'm just hella busy.

Onto the issue of hate mail and whatnot, I completely expected it so I have nothing to say about it (besides, if you're reading this, I expect you're probably not going to turn around a call me a vile piece of shit for whom medieval torture methods should exclusively be brought back into fashion). That being said, I've talked to a close friend and the concept of potentially adding content warnings and the such to my work came up. I've developed my writing through talking to people and posting comments on Reddit, so I've never felt the need to add these, and I figured tagging my work would work just as well. Is this something you'd like me to do going forward? I'll add a poll.

And finally, to wrap up, here's my to-do list for this blog:

Add coloured text to old posts (and new posts going forward)

Potentially add content warnings

Hopefully pluck up the effort to edit my work

And that's about it. Sorry for yapping so much. Thank you for sticking around. Much love. Big hugs. I'll catch you later, alligator. Byeeeee.

[expy-ceri]

Kirbytober Day 29: Crossover / Last Battle Ability

I’ve been looking forward to this prompt all month! this is for you, 12 super paper mario fans

ok so this is the love-love stick from DL3. i thought it would be cute with the pure hearts and all… kirby in general i think just fits the themes of SPM. but i have something hopefully more interesting planned for day 31 :)

[dailydoofypokemon]

HOENN DONE!

Wowee zowee, I’ve been done with Hoenn for a while now and am about 20 into Sinnoh, but oh man, I think more people are finding the lil blog here as Hoenn was going by, I got to 100 followers and am averaging about 10 notes a day. Which I know that’s not much, but it’s so much more activity than I’ve had on my main blog. I’m pretty sure it’s because of the consistency? But that’s still rad.

Special thanks to @everysinglepheel and @drizzileiscool for being such regulars! I know I don’t respond, but y’all’s tags keep me going. I know Drizzile, you’re waiting for the gen after this one, and that’s cool! I appreciate you sticking around like you have, so thank you so much! Same goes for Pheel! Thank you for always checking out my art!

Also a little extra thanks to @somekindabard who I love very very much and is my partner in crime and life and the best and helps me finish off all the Pokémon probs gosh, has it been since the beginning of Hoenn? Either way, love yoooooou

After Hoenn, I also think I’m going to drop off the numbering for the days. I know it’s not a lot, but I keep losing track over where I’m at, and I’m almost positive I’m off by like five or ten at this point, so it’s just a little change to the descriptions, but it’s enough that I gotta do something about it and it would help me queueing everything up ‘cause I keep losing which number i was last on //OTL

I also have posters for each gen I’ve completed so far, along with one that just has the starters! Once I get my shop properly fixed, I’ll put them online if anyone is interested. They’re 11x17, and I’m honestly really happy with how they turned out because they’re just so goofy looking, and it’s great seeing everything I’ve done so far combined into one. I want to make prints of each of the these guys in a fun collectible way eventually (a la trading cards maybe? Or something in the realm of a pack of cards or something) because there’s just some thing really satisfying to the idea of that, and may be a better solution for my table situation when I’m vending, lol. I’ll have a post on that soon so if y’all are interested!

To answer a question that came up early in Hoenn: Yes I do plan on doing every version of every Pokemon eventually! My plan is to finish all the current Pokédex, then get to work on the Mega Evolutions, then regional versions, then potentially spend a month just doing the Unown alphabet to hopefully turn into a silly font. It’ll be a while until I get there, but maybe I’ll do some of the Unown alphabet over the course of a few days and upload those as a set when I get the spoons for that. So I won’t just stop at Paldea! (Or whatever gen Pokemon will be by the time I get to Paldea, lol)

Lastly, I was curious if you guys wanted me to answer more things on here? I read everything that is sent my way, but I don’t respond because I know some people do prefer to have blogs that are themed blogs to remain consistent and not see much else. If I did interact more, I would always tag these regular posts with ‘#not pokemon’ so if you block posts then you shouldn’t see them!

Anyway, thank you so much all those who’ve been following me for a while and all those who found my blog in Hoenn! Tomorrow starts the next region: Starly! …because I also already did the starters! :D

[crazypercheron]

"... Gone."

Participating in @dailygtwscar's GTWScartober but with a twist. I've finally came to the conclusion of the GTWScartober 31 Days- now turned into themes (because my medical issues decided to make the Month of October the month of problems).

To those who followed me along for the Convex TCD art, I want to thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart for following along with this themed story. While I failed at uploading in a timely manner, this is actually the first time I had been able to complete all 31 themes. I do have 1 more piece of work to finish telling the story, so I do hope you will stick around for it (hopefully I can get it done sometime this week).

Thank you again and I hope to see you all again next year :)

[sapherin]

Happy 22nd anniversary Pokemon Crystal! 💎

I knew I wanted to draw Kris and Suicune this year, but I couldn’t decide if I wanted Kris to be in her canon outfit or her Sygna Suit…thus I designed a mix of both outfits. This was such a great year to be a Kris fan, I'm hoping she gets even more love next year! 🥺💙

This is most likely my last Pokémon theme post for the year so I’m dropping some doodles!

2023 is the Year or the Rabbit (I’m so hyped for that!! 🐰 ) so I really want a Spring Kris and Azumarill in Pokemas 🥺

Wally doodle from when I scouted my favorite Hoenn boy last month (I missed out on his Sygna Suit…😅)

Concepts I did for Sygna Suit Rosa and Nate I did last month as well.

Going to end this post back on topic, here’s headshots of my Johto crew. I just realized while drawing this that all six of them were never in a game all together…hopefully Kris and Eusine get to reunite soon. 

Thanks for sticking until the end! I’m going to finally play my copy of Scarlet that I’ve been sitting on.

[stuckysbike]

Howl 2

A/n: please forgive me it’s been a long long time since I’ve written anything, much less posted. All mistakes are my own.

Werewolf AU

Werewolf!Bucky x Werewolf!Reader

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader (for now).

Warnings: werewolf Bucky, werewolf Steve, werewolf Nat, dark themes. Mature, 18+. Exes to lovers (hopefully).

 

 

Your back slammed into the rough brick of the storeroom as Bucky loomed over you, his beautiful face twisted into an ugly snarl.

 

“What the fuck?” His breath smelled of whiskey and caramel and his grip was bruising on your shoulder.

 

“Bucky, please I-“ you tried to get out of his grip but it only made him hold on tighter.

 

“More excuses. More lies?” He snarled. His eyes were hard, but there was something deeper lurking there, hurt? Betrayal?

 

The door opened letting the music and chatter blast into the room for a moment and Steve slid in, graceful for a man of his size. He looked as angry as Bucky and a big part of you wanted to bare your throat, submit. Steve had been one of your best friends growing up, he was always there for you when your family let you down and submitting to him and Bucky would make it so much easier.

 

You couldn’t though, your boy needed you and you had to be brave, ignore and fight your nature yet again. The submission process would take more time than you had available, and besides you had a plan and having an Alpha wouldn’t allow the plan to work correctly. Nothing would please you more than curling up in a ball and crying. You couldn’t do that either as much as you wanted to.

 

“Well, what do you have to say for yourself huh?” Steve leaned against the door and folded his muscular arms across his broad chest. His voice was cold. Harsh. He’d never spoken to you that way before.

 

“You really want to hear a bunch of excuses, or do you want to save our son?” You turned to Bucky, and you saw his eyes flash and another snarl deep in his chest rumbled out. Steve growled in warning behind him, and you bit your lip and ducked your chin to your chest.

 

“My son,” Bucky leaned closer, and you felt his warm breath fanning over your face. His body was completely covering yours as he loomed over you. “The boy you kept away from me.”

 

“If we don’t get him back then we’ll have no son will we!” You snapped suddenly furious. They were wasting time standing here threatening and bullying you. Old hurts that had never healed suddenly burned bright.

 

Bucky wasn’t the only one left broken and betrayed. For months after you left you waited hoping he’d come looking for you, but he never did. You had left clues and spent time at your favourite haunts and hangouts outside of town and in the safety of darkness, but he never turned up.

 

Bucky growled but Steve’s hand slid around his shoulders holding him back. You sent Steve a small smile but the look he gave you in return was filthy. “You listen here, you broke his heart, you don’t dare come back here acting like you’re the victim!”

 

You pull back shocked and hurt at Steve’s harsh words. You thought everyone knew what happened, why you left. You thought you’d get a cold reception, but you didn’t expect open hostility.

 

“How do I even know he’s mine?” Bucky lifted his chin.

 

You tug your phone from the back pocket of your faded jeans and showed him the lock screen. Dark hair, blue eyes, he even had the dimple in his chin starting to form, and a big toothy smile.

 

“He’s yours,” you said softly. Steve glanced over Bucky’s shoulder, a soft gasp leaving his lips.

 

“He’s a carbon copy of you at that age Buck,” Steve looked between the screen and Bucky, his eyes softening at the sight.

 

“What I want to know now is why you couldn’t protect my boy!” Bucky was in your face, and you swallowed the fear down. He shook you against the wall in frustration.

 

“I was trying, but I’m an unmated Omega with a six-year-old son. I tend to stick out,” you snapped.

 

In all honesty you had no idea where this obsession came from. You worked two jobs to make ends meet living hand to mouth, going without so Jamie could have what he needed.

 

Then one day a few years ago Brock noticed you, a beta with family money behind him. A beta who figured your child would give him more power, elevate him to alpha status. A power-hungry whelp.

 

He just took to you, took to following you. You hated it. Hated him. He made your skin crawl. You tried not to give him the time of day, tried to relocate but he had resources, so he found you easily.

 

You didn’t want to tell them this, a sob story would do nothing more than make them resent you more than they already did. You held back, suspecting that that they would just mock you when you explained your situation.

 

“Please. Help us,” you begged.

 

“We have conditions. You’re withholding a member of our pack. We want him back,” Bucky was still seething, and your gut clenched in fear. You were starting to suspect that one way or another you were about to lose your boy. Either you mated with Brock and had Jamie in your life, or you let Bucky raise him and stood down as his main carer. You would rather he was safe with Bucky; you couldn’t keep him safe on your own any longer.

 

“And we want answers for your actions and your behaviour,” Steve added.  

 

“Anything just please help me,” you were close to sobbing now, your heart breaking.

 

Bucky stepped away and you crumped to the ground, the tears finally working their way out. You wiped at your eyes angrily as you got on to unsteady feet.

 

“Heel,” Bucky sneered cruelly at you, but you held yourself back, grasping to the tiny bit of dignity you had left.

 

“No,” you snarled back, and Steve huffed, catching you by the elbow and dragging you through the bar for all to see. Your face burned in shame as everyone turned to look your way.

 

As you passed by your stepfather stared mouth agape and you hang your head in shame.

 

“In,” Steve said shoving you into the backseat of a black truck.

 

“My backpack,” you said pointing to your car and Bucky rolled his eyes but went to your battered car, the same one you’d ran in all those years ago and brought the battered grey bag back to you.

 

Steve got into the driver’s side and the redhead Alpha climbed in beside you, giving you a challenging look, you ducked your head and looked away, you didn’t have the energy to fight with anyone else.

 

It was wet and cold and the wipers worked furiously as the truck pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

 

“He was snatched from school,” you said eventually.

 

“Why him?” Steve asked. “You claim to have nothing.”

 

“He’s powerful, he’s showing signs of being an Alpha already,” your voice wavered, and you felt a swell of pride at your amazing boy. “He’s gentle and kind and this Beta wolf, Brock, thinks that if he makes Jamie and I submit he’ll become an Alpha.”

 

There was silence for a long time, just the hum of the engine and the sounds of rain beating the windows.

 

“You called him Jamie?” Bucky’s voice was soft for the first time, and you swallowed, nodded.

 

“Yeah, of course, how could I not name him after his father?” You whispered, and you were tempted to remind Bucky how much you loved him back then, how much you still loved him now, but instead you tried to make an offer. “I have more pictures of him.”

 

You unlocked your phone and reached it across to Bucky, your fingers brushing and for just a moment there was a spark.

 

Everyone was silent as Bucky flicked through the pictures of his son, a small smile on his lips.

[dailycass-cain]

I was a masochist, because I wanted to see how the story ended (and wanted a the very least to own the Red Hood mini because I do love the creative team with that). So I asked a friend if I could borrow his copies of the issues I don't have. So here are my hopefully FINAL thoughts on Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War.

This was quite possibly the worst Batman x-over in quite some time. From the varying motivations of the main characters to the side characters. Nothing stood out from the beginning to the end.

If any one character comes off as "okay" throughout this event is Jason. Like, he gets the only motivation (again thin as it is), but at the very least he's the one who gets progression in this story.

From helping Selina to seeing how flawed Selina's plan is, to being kidnapped by Bruce then mentally tortured, and still fighting even after it.

Jason is the ONLY main member of the three (or four if you include Vandal) who exits the story still looking clean.

Bruce or Selina? Oh boy... both have some WONKY stuff in this and vary from issue to issue or page to page.

The thing is, this story could've just been easier by taking Selina out entirely and focusing on Bruce vs. the Bat Family.

Like, the entire Bat Family is paper thin in this story and quite possibly some of the worst use of them in a while.

I'm still flabbergasted at how awful Cass was treated in the story with zero character at all. I mean Batman vs. Robin #5 did as well, but even with that story there was a "meaning" to the madness with Cass in that.

She sat out most the main series until THAT issue. She's there along with the rest of the Bat Family to stall the possessed Bruce (which seems to be a recurring theme this entire year) until the mystical characters of the DCU arrive to exorcise him.

For that issue?

It works. I accept the jobbing because it's a mystical demon which is outside her norm (well not anymore).

I still have my issues with Batman vs. Robin, but it was waaay better at telling a story.

Here?

Everyone's appearance in this event is downright laughable and makes zero sense. I'm supposed to accept Cass is okay with Selina's plan throughout this? Even her among other characters gets ZERO voice on why they're on board with this.

A quick fix again would've been when she saw the signs of Bruce's mental instability with the Zur influence growing larger.

Heck, the now INFAMOUS Batman #137. The issue is awful storywise and all it serves is the wrestling equivalent to this with Bruce vs. Cass:

All so Bruce can get a "W" over Cass. Joy. 🙄

When themactically it could've shown Zur's influence that a move Bruce wouldn't be ready for and Zur is.

BUT NOPE. We get that with him against Dick in #138 instead.

I'm not even going into details with the final issue of the event in Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War- Scorched Earth #1.

It just makes everything worse. Bruce passes it all on Dick and um yeah… none of the female characters of the family get ANY say. 🙃🙃🙃

I said last month I'm dropping Batman ongoing from my pull, and I'm sticking with that choice with Tec replacing it fully. I just don't enjoy the comic any longer. When you don't enjoy a comic you cut it off and don't continue to read it for any enjoyment purposes.

Literally, Cass's entire point in Batman run so far has been to job. There has been ZERO characterization for the character. Why I dibbed Cass in this "Card Cain". If you're gonna treat the character that way, well.

I'm out.

Detective Comics is giving me a better story of Bruce falling out mentally, and better-crafted antagonists who feel like a threat to him and others.

I'm more hype for Cass in that because it feels like the book treats each character better. EVERYONE gets to shine.

Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War burned me the heck out of the two leads. Again, I'm far more interested in what happens with Jason next and glad his "mini-series" basically turned into a setup for the finale to the current Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing ongoing.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to put my friend's copies downstairs. Probably tell him next Thurs to bury them in his bins never to be read, or just sell this as a bundle for some poor soul to buy.

I hope this is the final time I ever talk about Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War.

Save for Card Cain. I can't hate Card Cain.

[vellichxrr6782]

— dancing with our hands tied.

character[s] — diluc ragnvindr.  theme & genre — sort of enemies to lovers? ballroom dancing/waltz, fatui harbinger! reader. cw/tw — grumpy diluc, flirty reader word count — 1916 words. a/n — i realised i suck at writing enemies to lovers so ill stick to angst and major character death after this <3 title is from dancing w our hands tied by taylor loml

"i'm surprised, master diluc, you're quite peaceful from what i've seen. my comrades make you out to be an absolute devil." you commented, "it's such an honour to be in your presence."

"oh, trust me, if people weren't watching right now, i would break all the bones in your body."

"how very charming of you, master diluc."

diluc had no clue how a goddamn fatui harbinger snuck into his banquet. he was holding a party for the winery's opening anniversary, and all concerned people were invited.

everyone, except, of course, fatui. so how you, the 12th harbinger invited themselves gleefully to the party, was enough to piss diluc off.

of course, this wasn't his first time meeting you. he'd met you when he was a bit younger, a few months after his father's death. diluc was clearing out a fatui camp near dragonspine, and much to his surprise, a fatui harbinger was actually leading the group.

so the harbingers actually worked? what a shocker. you and him quarrelled a little, and even fought. diluc had fought many fatuus, and you were not as strong as your other harbinger colleagues, but you were still a formidable opponent. if he was to be completely honest with himself, he didn't hate your company, but he didn't like it either. still, diluc left it at that, and thought it was your last meeting with him.

if he knew you would show up to his banquet after years, dressed in fancy clothes, in stark contrast to your usual battlewear, and walking up to him to dance? he wouldn't have believed it.

he was holding a party for the winery's opening anniversary, and all concerned people were invited.

everyone, except, of course, fatui. so how you, the 12th harbinger invited themselves gleefully to the party, was enough to piss diluc off.

he'd heard wind of how a harbinger was in mondstadt, who came to sort something out with the goth grand hotel. the knights were wary, all aware of the fatui's antics, but still indebted to them due to the incident with ursa the drake.

diluc, however, didn't give a shit. indebted or not, he didn't care. you were a harbinger, and therefore his enemy. and even if diluc decided to be fair and give you a chance (which wouldn't happen, hopefully), you were making it really difficult for diluc to not find you intolerable.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, a wry smile spreading across your face as you observed the distaste on his. your feet moved with his in sync, although you had to admit, you were struggling a little to catch up to him. "master diluc, slow down a little," you chuckled, annoyance obvious in your tone.

"stop calling me that, it sounds more like an insult rather than a respectful title from your lips." diluc frowned, furrowing his brows in vexation.

"i'm afraid i don't know what you're talking about, master diluc." you replied in an innocent tone, and diluc rolled his eyes in response.

his grip on your waist tightened as he gently spun you around the ballroom, his calm, calculated movements turning into fierce and annoyed stomps of his feet.

"my, you seem to be irritated. whatever's the matter?" you raised a brow, smirking. diluc swore he felt his blood boil. you internally winced at his hand tightening against yours, but didn't let it show.

"i'm sure you're well aware, l/n. drop the innocent act before i drop-kick you."

gods, you would've actually been scared right now if it wasn't for two things. one, you're a harbinger. it's pretty normal for you to get threats like this, so you get used to it. two, diluc looks like a grumpy kitten. you couldn't possibly take that seriously. he'd changed since you'd last seen him all those years back. he was a young boy, driven by his fury and emotions. now he was much more dignified, but still had the same temper, it seemed.

whispers of 'my, master diluc and that mysterious person look so cute together!' echoed through the room, and diluc swore he'd never wanted to commit murder more in his entire life.

"well, it seems we can't start fighting here, now can we?" you grinned, "so just follow my lead, and let it be. i'm not your enemy in this moment."

"then what am i supposed to treat you as?" diluc grit his teeth, but he knew you were right. he couldn't cause an uproar here, not when everyone was watching.

you leaned in close, your lips brushing past diluc's neck gently, your breath warm as you whispered.

"treat me like a lover, ragnvindr."

the violins sung an intense tune, the rhythm of people moving around grew faster. the trombone blew an elegant symphony, fitting the graceful atmosphere.

the cold look in diluc's eyes softened, as he sighed. his movements filled with anger slowly melted into a graceful dance alongside the melody of the orchestra.

his fingers interlocked in yours, arms wrapped around your waist. "you think this is a game, don't you, l/n?" diluc smirked, his voice firm as it sent shivers down your spin, and your eyes widened in surprise at his sudden change in demeanour. "let's play, then."

the music sped up, the chatter of people drowned as the spotlight focused only on you and him. it was all that mattered. your breaths were in sync with his, hair flowing in the wind as diluc spun you across the ballroom floor. the maestro flicked his baton from one group to another, tapping of feet on the marble floors of the manor resounding in the air.

moonlight flowed into the room, illuminating the floor with a shade of silver. your heart was racing, being so close to someone your colleagues deemed an enemy. but to you, he wasn't an enemy.

diluc was so close to your face, you could see each soft feature of his, glowing under the warmth of the lights. his lips were beautifully soft, untouched by anyone else, and it only made them more desirable. his gaze burned like a passionate fire, and even though it made adrenaline rush through your veins, you wished it would last forever.

god. diluc hated this feeling. was it because it was unfamiliar, or because it was wrong? then again, what was he supposed to do? it was impossible to ignore and irresistable to the point where diluc didn't care. screw the consequences, he thought, hesitating.

why would you have come to the party, and chosen to dance with only diluc, if you didn't want something from him? maybe if you and him were in different situations, where you weren't someone he'd deemed an enemy, in a world where you were just a normal person, would he have felt differently about you? would he have embraced whatever warmth from you that he was denying?

he hated the way you made him feel. confused, conflicted, and angry. it was as if something was telling him not to cross his lines, but what was he to do when you'd been crossing them for him?

in this close proximity, all eyes on you both as you danced across the ballroom, he was sure everyone thought you both had something going on between each other.

how was he supposed to hate you? well, till then, he'd just hate the way you made him feel.

you laughed shakily, "hah, you're surprisingly good at dancing.." a blush covered your cheeks as you realised you should stop complimenting him.

"you're not too bad yourself." diluc replied, closing his eyes momentarily as he stepped towards his right, then left. "you look breathless, though. something on your mind?"

you quickly replied no, perhaps too quickly, and you looked away. all that cockiness and attitude of yours melted away, much to diluc's joy. you were now a little embarrassed, considering he was actually pretty good at dancing and your heart was fluttering from how close he was to you.

and for the finale, diluc gently bent you down, his chest so close to yours where you could hear every beat of his heart, and let it imprint in the deepest parts of your mind.

the orchestra stopped all of a sudden, and so did you and diluc. the people applauded, and resumed their chattering.

you breathed in and out heavily, looking down at the ground. diluc composed himself quickly, his hands still placed on your waist, as if he couldn't let go. his lips were almost touching yours, and you swore diluc's gaze flickered to them for a mere second, as if he were thinking about doing something, but couldn't.

"well, that was... something." you muttered, a deep blush tinting your cheeks.

what would your comrades say when they found out, you had danced with the devil? well, it didn't really matter to you anyway. the harbingers did betrayal best. you were simply following whatever unspoken code of conduct they had set for you.

"now, where's that smug smirk of yours?" diluc had a soft smile on his face as if he'd won. "anything else you want to say?"

"didn't think you could be such a romantic, diluc." you grinned, "are you sure your display of affection was just a bluff, or are you truly in love with me?" you joked, not expecting a serious response from him.

"and if i said i wasn't bluffing?" diluc adjusted his gloves, raising his brows, "what if i am truly in love with you?"

"i...um, what?" you gaped, eyes widening like saucers. "you're not serious, right?"

diluc held back a laugh, "you should've seen your expression in the mirror."

you massaged your forehead, "haha, very funny. i'm sure you can think of better jokes, diluc. i believe in you."

"what an honour to have you believe in me." he crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes in satisfaction. "it'll take a lot more than a dance to get me to even consider you a friend."

"my, and if i'm thinking about completely skipping over the friendship stage and straight to lovers?" you tilted your head, and diluc simply shrugged.

"you'd be delusional then."

"hah, was that a fatui pun?" "a what?" "never mind."

"well, if you'll excuse me, i have other guests to attend to." diluc bowed slightly. "you may ask adelinde to escort you straight out the door."

diluc wouldn't be lying if he said something was stopping him from leaving. still, he didn't want to let his newfound emotions get the better of his rationality.

"what a shame, i really wanted to take up more of your time." you frowned, raising your voice so he could hear you, "must you leave your beloved so soon?"

diluc didn't respond, instead choosing to look daggers at you. he whispered after a few seconds, "people will think we're lovers, l/n. please mind the way you speak."

oh, so he didn't want people to think you both were lovers, huh? well, after that passionate dance, you didn't think anyone had a doubt. but seemingly, they still were clueless.

well, wouldn't it be good to clear things up for them?

you approached him, taking off his glove from his right hand. diluc froze, "just what are you doing, y/n-?!"

you closed your eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. a furious blush rose to his cheeks, eyes widening. you smirked while looking up at him, your voice low.

"till we meet again, diluc ragnvindr."

published on; 21st september, 2022 writing belongs to @/vellichxrr6782 on tumblr.