#hopefully i can return to a good posting schedule next week!

[xstian]

he’s purring :)

[ohcorny]

so! it's been a year since i put never satisfied on hiatus, and 9 years since i started posting it, and rather than make you read everything if all you want to know is "when's it coming back?" the answer is still: don't know! but the answer has also shifted closer to "it isn't" the longer i've spent on break, and i think it's worth being up front about that.

i talked about it a little here a few weeks ago, but the long and short of it is that between taking on better paying work, writing better stories, and looking back at what i'd already done for never satisfied... i just don't think i want to continue it? the year off has been incredibly good for my mental health, and i can't see myself wanting to go back after the two-three years still ahead of me on my current project. that's not to say i never want to return to the characters or the concept, but if i did, i imagine it would be with something completely new, in a different form. after all, i started this comic when i was 21 years old, a lesbian, and a sophomore in college. i am now just shy of 30, a bi man, and overall a completely different person than i was, back when i was writing without a plan and putting all of my insecurities into the comic--insecurities i don't identify with anymore. lord i'm closer to rothart's age than i am to lucy's. hate that

anyway. you have all been extraordinarily kind for following never satisfied for as long as you have, for supporting it as much as you have, and being as patient as you have. whatever form never satisfied takes in the future (god willing, with a more cohesive story structure and A PLAN FOR THE ENDING, WHICH BY THE WAY I NEVER, EVER HAD) i hope to see you there!

in the meantime, as an update on where i'm at with the thing that made me stop working on NS: i finished it! all the pages for Hunger's Bite (if you remember it with a different title: no you don't) have been turned in and now it's just revisions and covers and then........ waiting a year until it can come out. because that's how it is in traditionally published graphic novels! nothing releases for a full year after you finished it! and you're even getting it earlier than was originally planned, because i'm a creature and finished it like three months ahead of schedule. i've also already started thumbnailing the sequel book which i can't talk about whatsoever and will now be working on that for the next two years and then HOPEFULLY the first book will have done well enough that i can sell a third! so you better buy it when it comes out next february!!!!!!

to ease you all into it, i wanted to do a little crossover to introduce the main characters. we have emery, whose design is fully and unintentionally just Seiji Again down to his color palette (but seiji would bully him if they met. like so hard. he's a wimp). then we have neeta, a girl who dreams of travel and cares deeply about worker's rights, and wick, a vampire agent investigating the mysterious and sinister new owner of the 1910s ocean liner emery and neeta call home. he's also gay. but sorry lucy, you aren't his type. you're not mean enough.

the best place to keep up with me these days is probably here, as this first book gets closer to release, i will probably be posting about it a lot. and i will certainly post about it here when there's an official release date and cover reveal! i hope you'll go read it. i really think if you liked never satisfied and its themes, you'll like hunger's bite!

thank you again for reading!!

[prettiestplatypus]

I read your whole comic so far in like... 2 days, I LOVED IT!! so very cute, also scary, and... spicy... but im wondering, I've seen your post about carpel tunnel, are you doing alright? and also, will you post more of the actual story? with the sleepover and everything? I can't handle cliffhangers! Take care!

I'll answer the most pressing question and good news first: The Prettiest Platypus will be returning once I run out of collaboration pages that my friends all created for me, which is looking to be a return in late February! Now, the less fun part: I'm not going to go into my medical details, but I'm *still* seeing doctors to try and figure out exactly what's wrong, and I'm kind-of in a worse point than I was going into this hiatus. While I've gotten to a point I can draw again, I can't do a whole lot, and definitely nowhere near the output I was able to do pre-injury. So when the comic returns it will hopefully be on a consistent once a week schedule, but I need to try and be smart about it to not get worse, so some weeks might get missed now here and there. We will definitely get to see what happens next in the story, I promise. And the sleepover is shortly after the comic resumes after a short subchapter, so hopefully I can deliver what everyone is looking forward to!

[juuuulez]

📰 | part ten: capulet.

info: Carl Grimes x Saviour! Reader, slow burn, enemies to lovers, gun violence, father figure! Negan, soooomeeee ooonneee has a crush, teenagers in love.

summary: You tussle with your emotions regarding Carl, whilst Grimes and co pay a surprise visit to the Sanctuary.

omg i’m on fire!!!!! cliffhanger ending……but also next chapter will be similarly juicy so don’t fret! also half-written a carl x reader oneshot/drabble i’ll post soon between chapters :P

i’m so glad you all love my saviour reader story because i am her she is me…….this series is my CHILD i will defend it with my life!

-> masterlist <-

You hadn’t been to Alexandria in, frankly, what felt like years.

It was actually just weeks.

With an alliance between Hilltop, the Kingdom, and Alexandria, things for the Saviours were trickier than ever. Most of the time Negan spent in his office, trying to decode the best play. You helped, of course, and were practically running yourself ragged trying to keep things together at the Sanctuary.

It felt like everyone knew what was happening. Or they expected it, were waiting for it. It irritated you to no end, that others would blatantly show their disbelief in your cause, in Negan’s cause.

And then there was Carl.

You missed him, which was weird. He had become a constant in your life, the arguing and fighting, the pushing and shoving. But now your relationship had crested into something else… and you didn’t hate it.

In fact, you quite enjoyed kissing Carl.

Not that you’d admit that. To him, to anyone. Nobody needed that amount of power over you.

“You can go to bed, doll.”

You looked up from your lap, where a book of supply schedules was scribbled down. You were seated on that long leather couch in Negan’s office, whilst he worked on god knows what. Hopefully a viable strategy.

“No, I’m fine.” You tell him, politely. Too politely.

Truth is, you were hanging on by a thread. But with no supplies from Alexandria, nor Hilltop, the situation at the Sanctuary was becoming dire. You were trying to figure out how to jig things around so that everyone could be satisfied, or maybe even rethinking the points system, making the imaginary economy more competitive.

“I’m serious,” Negan insists, “You don’t gotta be doin’ this shit. It’s below you.”

You roll your eyes, “Who’s gonna do it, then? Simon’s corpse?”

The sarcastic comment earns you a glare in return, which does make you feel a little bad. You’d watched the brawl firsthand, and had almost tried to help Negan, if not for Dwight holding you back. Either way, it didn’t matter, for Simon was eventually strangled to death.

Brutal, but fitting.

Maybe you were trying to fill that void. The line between right-hand man and teenage daughter was thinning.

Negan rose from his seat, coming over to stand in front of you. He didn’t even need to lean down, swiftly plucking the tattered notebook from your lap, to which you groaned and leaned back on the couch.

He inspected it, reading over the numbers and scrawled figures. “You’re doing this wrong.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should start making your wives do the bookkeeping.” You grumbled, laying down on the couch in defeat.

Negan tossed the notebook onto the coffee table, sitting on the couch opposite you. “Doubt they can count past ten.”

It was a terrible thing to say, but got a smile out of you. It was difficult to be in a good mood on so little sleep, so the tiniest hint of happiness was well appreciated.

“When will we go to Alexandria again?”

You tried not to sound too interested in the question, but couldn’t help yourself, and needed to ask. Not for Carl, just for supplies. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

“Soon. Give it another week,” Negan confirmed, though his eyes said he knew something more. “Awfully interested in that shithole, aren’t you?”

This caused you to roll over, onto your side, so you could glare over at the older man. “We need that shithole to survive.”

There was a playful glint on Negan’s face, the words earning a small laugh from him. “Maybe you do. Bet you’re just itchin’ for your little cyclops.”

The joke causes you to bristle, irritation rising as you hoist yourself from the couch, making a play for the door. On such little sleep, you weren’t in the mood to entertain being teased.

But Negan stopped you, that grin still on his face. “Hey, c’mon, doll. You know I’m just tryin’ to rile you up.” He admits, coming to a stand.

The glare remains, but at least you stop your escape, instead just standing near the door with your arms crossed. You’d likely give some defensive retort, but Negan is already speaking again.

“Everyone has their first crush at some point. I’m just surprised it took you this long.”

“I don’t have a crush,” You practically snarl. “I’m not twelve years old.”

“Okay, sorry. Not a crush,” Negan approaches slowly, like you’ll run off again, though is pleased when you stand still. “Sounds like it’s past your bedtime.”

Your nose scrunches up, eyes narrowed in offence as he continues to treat you like a child. But you know he’s just making a point to tease you, judging by that stupid grin on his face, so you try not to react.

His hands bracket your arms, giving you a little spin so that you’re facing the door. But now you sigh, turning back around, unable to just drop this conversation all together.

“You don’t care?” You ask. “Like, if I did have a crush, you don’t even mind? Not that I do, I’m just… wondering.”

Negan smiles, finding your half-confession quite adorable. “That’s what kids do, darlin’. Besides, the boy’s got his head on straight. Certainly got more balls than his father.”

You look down at the floor, a little pensive. “I don’t have a crush on Carl.” You reiterate, standing your ground, trying to sound firm in order to convince the both of you.

He seems to get the hint, understanding that maybe you don’t even know what’s going on. “I know, doll. Don’t stress it too much.” Negan drops the subject, letting his arm encase your back for a small squeeze before letting you go. “Go get some rest.���

You muster up a little smile, finally accepting the offer and scampering back off to bed. After all, you were exhausted, despite that inherent need to make yourself useful. Supply counts could wait.

It was a comforting space, your bedroom, one you retreated to whenever things got overwhelming. It was filled with photos and trinkets, candy stashed away in the drawers, all the things you didn’t have when growing up. It was your space.

That night, you fell asleep weighing the severity of simply going to Alexandria yourself. You passed out a few minutes into debating what transportation to take.

Fortunately, or, probably unfortunately, that wasn’t necessary.

For Alexandria had come to you.

Gunfire was a familiar sound to wake up to. Usually, it was a low-level squabble, or maybe one of the Saviours proving a point. Either way, it never lasted long.

But this time, there was shouting, and more bullets. It was enough to jolt you awake, pushing past that bleary state of consciousness and waiting, still, for it to continue.

It did.

You climbed out of bed with urgency, moving on autopilot as you threw on some jeans, not bothering to change from your sleep tank before bolting for the door.

Just as your fingertips brushed the bat, you realised it wouldn’t do. That gun was still locked away in the bottom drawer, so you reached for it, shoving a handful of bullets into your pocket before leaving.

Now, you’ve never been a very good shot. That’s why you preferred using the bat, or at the very least, hand-to-hand combat. You had terrible aim. But maybe now was the best time to fix that issue.

So, you made your way through the Sanctuary, swiftly stepping through hallways, gun at the ready. You were outside in minutes, the shouting becoming much clearer now, a voice you could recognise:

Rick Grimes.

“Fuck this..” You grumbled, growing irritated with this relentless back and forth. And now, they were in your home.

Another shot blew out the glass from above you, forcing you further against the wall, as the shards piled on the concrete. Some littered your skin, your shoulders bare, due to still wearing a tank intended for sleeping. You didn’t even have a bra on.

But there were worse problems, you supposed.

The gun felt heavy in your hands, fingers twitching around the trigger. Hopefully you wouldn’t have to use it, though that seemed like wishful thinking. You wondered where Negan was, yet believed he could handle himself. You and this gun were the main concern, a gun you had no idea how to use effectively.

You hid behind anything available, crouched down, trying to survey the surroundings. From here, you could see the scattered factions of makeshift soldiers, though Rick was now missing. You presumed he had a similar thought process to you: Negan.

That was fine, for now.

Clutching the gun tightly, you shifted into view, holding it outwards and discharging a shot into the distance. It echoed in the nearby vicinity, though there was too much gunfire to distinguish where it had came from, luckily. It didn’t seem to hit anyone.

What a waste.

“Hey!”

It was a whisper-shout, one clearly intended to gain your attention. You spun your head around, searching for the voice, amongst all the yelling and fighting taking place within your home. It took an embarrassing amount of time until you saw him.

Carl.

Thank fucking god.

He’d been watching you, on alert for your figure the second they arrived. He clocked your creeping approach into the battle field, ducking behind anything possible. It was almost amusing, the stark contrast in how you usually chose to fight, but made sense after you fired that hopeless shot.

You had no idea what was going on, assuming that Negan and Rick were off fighting, whilst a few Saviours tried to keep the rival gang at bay. Or gangs, plural. You guessed that speaking to Carl would be your best chance at getting a grip on the situation. That, and you weren’t in the mood for a defensive Saviour to shoot him.

So, you tried to get closer, looking left and right to make sure the coast was clear before ducking behind rubble or vehicles, anything to provide cover. Carl was used to fighting, sure, but felt slightly anxious for a reason he couldn’t pin. It was just a bad feeling, like something was not right.

This time, Carl called out your name, causing you to look up and at attention. He held out his hand, despite being meters away, a signal to come closer under the cover he’d found.

You clutch the gun tightly, safety off, poised at your side. But it’s difficult to see everyone, from this position, forcing you to inch out from behind the truck in order to get a visual.

Still holding out his hand, Carl waits, watching as you peek your head out.

Pop!

A shot fires, crackling in the distance, though it takes you down with a solid thud.

[bluewhale52]

Little Black Book: The One You Return To

Summary: There are a seven names in your Little Black Book, and you have lost all of them… or have you?

Pairing: can’t really reveal who the pairing here bc spoilers! So I’ll just say member(s?) x female oc

Rating: Explicit 🔞

Genre: e2l, S2L, established relationship, fuck buddies

Warning: mention of masturbation, mention of sex toy, a bit of angst, 69, oral (m&f receiving), fingering, ass eating, unprotected sex, mmf threesome, multiple orgasm, multiple partners

A/N: This marks the end of the series, as well as the beginning of my hiatus. Real life hasn't been kind time wise, and writing- once a way to escape- has become more of a burden and it's been very hard to put my thoughts into words for the past few months. I will leave this account open, albeit inactive, and hopefully one day I can come back and share my horny smutty ideas with you again. Love you all. Be kind to everone. Borahae.

Series Masterlist: Little Black Book

You tossed your vibrator away in frustration.

This was maddening. You used to have seven- SEVEN!- men at your disposal, and now... you had been reduced to a battery operated toy.

And it sucked.

It felt nothing like the real thing. It carried none of the musky scents of your partners. It simply whirred and made mechanical noises that were so far from the desperate groans and lusty moans that used to fill your ears. It produced no sweats, it carried no weight that could pin you down, it was just.... pathetic.

Pathetic. This was what you were.

Seven men, and none was within your reach.

After the breakup, a chasm broke out, something Jungkook liked to compare to the Avengers Civil War, with Jungkook and Yoongi taking Namjoon's side. You did not blame them for it, you understood why they were there. Jungkook obviously were dating Namjoon's little sister, and although that did not last long, it was clear where his loyalty was. Yoongi was more guilt-ridden- having your ex-boyfriend as his song writing partner would make things very awkward if you and him went back to your old schedule. You got it, you really did, and in a way you felt grateful that Namjoon had such good friends by his side, even at your expense.

Because you figured, you had Seokjin and Hoseok, right? The two who had been with you from the beginning and who had been with you through your ups and downs. The two who were the least likely to ask for any kind of commitment from you, and the most likely to give you the kind of fun you wanted without any questions asked.

Only... you seemed to have ruined that too.

It was interesting that soon after Namjoon and you called it quit, the lust came back with a vengeance. The post-break up sex you had made up for the weeks and weeks you both had gone without. It was angry, it was rough, it was as if you were reminding each other what you would miss, a lustful taunt to be the first to grovel and beg- for what, none of you knew exactly, other than you both needed to fuck each other's brains out. One last time. Over and over.

Post sex however, you went into a spiral. Showing up at Hoseok or Seokjin's apartment, body sore and heart aching, many a night you spent on their sofa, either crying or staring into space, while Seokin gamed or Hoseok monitored his dance videos. You always woke up the next morning in their spare bedrooms with your eyes swollen, they patiently fed you breakfast, waiting until your grief stage moved to anger stage. Only you were never able to move on, being stuck with your ex-boyfriend in an unhealthy loop. Seokjin finally had had enough, and so it was one afternoon in the office, Seokjin sat you down, glared at you until you blocked Namjoon's number, then called Yoongi to check if your ex had done the same with yours. When your boss got the confirmation, he patted your head and invited you to dinner at his place.

"To make sure you're okay, and that you don't unblock him."

And somehow Hoseok got in on it too, taking turns with Seokjin to watch you like a hawk until you finally moved on. You were grateful to them, but regretful too because things changed then. You still found them attractive, very painfully so, but... that was it. Nothing more. Them caring for you had erased any desire once harboured for each other. How and why this happened... that was something you were not willing to psychoanalyse.

And thus, here you were in your predicament. Naked in bed, with your toy discarded and hopefully, soon forgotten.

You unplugged your phone from the charger and scrolled through your address book. From seven, reduced to five. The last two candidates... well, that was harder to deal with than then five you had just crossed off. Taehyung, you would guess, would never talk to you until you sorted your shit with Jimin. Jimin, you would guess, would slam the door in your face if you even dared to show up at his place. And that also if you could ever swallow your pride and unblock his number.

You bit your lip.

The two blocked numbers in your phone were the two who would most welcome you, regardless where you stood with them now. You just knew it, you had a gut feeling, either Namjoon or Jimin would not turn you down. But, to make the proposition, you had to first unblock them. Just one of them. Which one, though?

Going back to Namjoon scared you- you did not want to be reduced to that crying mess again, and you were worried of Seokjin and Hoseok's reactions. Would they be angry? Upset? Would they leave you the way Jungkook and Yoongi did?

But Jimin... there was so much pride and ego you had to swallow to reach out to him. And then you'd have to explain why you ghosted him all this while. Taehyung no doubt would have updated him after you and Namjoon had watched his band play all those months ago. You knew Jimin could be petty, and you probably- no, definitely- deserved whatever anger Jimin had towards you. But you did owe him a massive apology, and maybe this was time for you to put your big girls pants on and show him how you had grown?

Namjoon or Jimin... how would you choose? Flip a coin? Just walk out and see where your feet take you?

You screamed into your empty bedroom. This was too frustrating. You just wanted a dick for fuck's sake, why was it so difficult?

Huffing, you got out of bed and went to your wardrobe to get dressed. Something casual, easy to take off but not that easy because you were not that desperate. No, no. Not desperate. Not at all. Your everyday underwear, at home bra, an old tshirt, hoodie and pants. Yes, perfect. Casual. Understated sexy. Good.

You picked your phone from the bed. Back to the main question- who would you call. The ex or the who could've been. Pick one. But how? Don't think. Just pick one for fuck's sake.

And so you did. You unblocked the number. You shot him a quick message. Hey, can I come over?

The reply came as quickly. Sure. Still the same passcode.

Same address. Same passcode to his door. Your heart clenched. It was too late to back out. There would be a lot of explaining to do, but you were going to get that dick. Hopefully.

You grabbed your bag and walked out of your apartment.

--

TONIGHT

He moans shamelessly as you take his cock whole, the head pushing against your throat, your lips adjusting around his girth. Laying on top of him, you readjust so you can take him more, but he pulls you back so he can continue eating your pussy. Both your mouths and tongues working on each other's ex, drawing out muffled moans and groans that only add to the pleasure.

A finger enters your cunt, then two, the pace frantic and hurried, making you unable to focus on sucking his cock. Your hand takes over, stroking his full length, wet and slick from your saliva.

"Ah, fuck Princess, you're so wet," he hums against your sex.

You arch your back when he dives in again, his tongue and fingers pulling screams out of you now. His cock forgotten, you lie helplessly on top of him, surrendering your body to him, for him to take you to your climax. He pulls you higher, to finger fuck you faster and harder, while his tongue whirls over your clit. Your body writhe, your legs shake. He removes his fingers and focuses on your clit now.

Close, so so close.

Then you feel it. His hands on your ass cheeks, groping and squeezing them, parting them. Your holes clench tight. A cool liquid drips and slides down in between, sending you into a mad frenzy. Then another tongue touches your rim.

Wait- another tongue?

You jerk at the realisation and attempt to look back, only for a hand to press your head down against your lover's crotch. Mind hazy and mouth hanging open, you could only stick your tongue out to lick whatever part of his cock you could reach. The tongues behind you keep going, wet squelches and slobbery noises fill your ears until they are all blacked out as you cum, hard.

Your body spasms through your orgasm and still vibrates when you are flipped over to lie on your back. Your eyelids are heavy, but you force them open.

Jimin sits between your legs licking his lips, a satisfied smirk on his face. Next to him is Taehyung, all puppy dog eyes as he slithers up your body, kissing your stomach, breasts and then against your lips, he murmurs, "Sorry I'm late, darling."

Whatever response you have turns into a moan as Jimin slides into you. Taehyung swallows your moans, then peppers your jaws with more kisses as his best friend starts fucking you hard. He watches you sliding up and down on the bed, large hands grazing your pert nipples, his mouth never far from your neck.

"Feels good, Princess?"

"Yeah," you pant, "so good."

Taehyung chuckles and nips your neck. You yelp. "Sorry darling, I can't resist. I'll mark your tits later, okay?"

Before you can answer, Taehyung moves back so Jimin can bring your legs up to your chest, practically folding you in half. He fucks you even harder now, the sounds of his skin meeting yours and the bed banging against the wall are ringing loud, competing with your moans that are slowly turning into wails, with how deep he is hitting you inside now.

"Oh fuck... fuck..."

"Gonna cum, Princess? Gonna cream my cock?" He goads you.

You whimper.

"Gonna make you all nice and wet for Tae, hmm?"

Your eyes start to roll back.

"Fuck, Princess, that's it, cum with me. Cum!"

You let out a soundless scream as your cunt clamps down hard, and with a few more thrusts, Jimin empties himself in you. He gives you a deep kiss, whispering what a good girl you are, before removing himself from you completely, moving aside to let his best friend take you now.

Taehyung pulls you up to sit you on top of him, guiding his cock into your messy hole. You squirm and tense, sore from Jimin's fucking but still greedy for Taehyung's monster dick. Slowly, slowly you sink onto him, until he is fully seathed inside you.

"That's it, darling," he praises you, "I knew you can take it."

You weakly kiss his neck. His large hands are holding your hips. "Now relax and let me fuck you, hmm?"

"Fuck me good, Tae," you sweetly beg.

And fuck you good he does. Slow long thrusts that turn into manic pumping, bouncing you like a rag doll on top of him. Jimin sits himself behind you, kissing your back and shoulders, then wrapping his fingers around your neck.

"Fuck, who knew you like being choked so much," Taehyung pants, "she got so tight, Min-ah."

"Good," Jimin nips your ear. "Let's see if we can make you squirt again, hmm Princess?"

His free hand snakes down and starts rubbing your clit, as Taehyung continues pounding into you. Your stomach tightens, your legs shake, and a heat explodes within you, you lose control of your body but your two lovers are there to hold you, to paint your inside further, to claim you.

When you gain some sort of coherence, you find yourself cleaned and tucked in bed, sandwiched between the two men. Taehyung has a koala hold on you, as he always does when he sleeps, but Jimin is gently rubbing your head, watching you. You blink, cheeks slowly heating up in embarrassment at the tender way he is looking at you.

"I'm glad you came back to me," he whispers, "to us."

You ignore the sudden tight grip in your heart. "Me too."

And you mean it. You are glad out of seven, you are able to save these two.

[melodygatesauthor]

Weekly Update - 07/09/2023

There's a LOT to cover this week but it's all REALLY important so please read <3 (below the cut) ~

Announcements

~ Cruise ~

I'm going on a cruise from 07/15/2023-07/23/2023! I really shouldn't have, but my family peer pressured me into it and now I can't get my money back if I back out so I'm going anyway lol.

I paid extra to have WiFi in my cabin, however I don't know how good it will be. I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money to use the data on my phone out there. That being said, my online time will be limited.

If for any reason I cannot access my internet or have issues getting on Tumblr @whatthefishh will give you all an update letting you know. (She hasn't confirmed this with me yet but I assume she will lol)

I'm going to be trying to get some works written ahead of time and scheduled to post while I'm away so it will be like I never left! (except I won't be able to respond much).

~ Masterlist ~

My masterlist is ALMOST complete. Once I'm done with it this time I will NOT be changing it again (unless my aesthetic changes but that will only be a cosmetic update). I'm happy with the way it's organized right now and I don't think it can get any better than it is personally lol. (I'm very proud of it please praise me)

~ FAQs ~

I'm working on an FAQs list to hopefully mitigate some of the repeat questions I get, or so I can just link them instead of having to respond to each individual question.

~ Thank You ~

The biggest thank you possible to those who sent in tips this week. I can't thank you enough. I added the tip thing without the expectation that people would actually use it so to have so many of you this week blew my mind. I love you, and I appreciate you more than you can know.

Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren't a promise/guarantee, they're a goal.

Fic Updates Legend:

Blue - should be posted this week

Pink - In progress actively (working on but will not be posted this week)

Red - Backburner Fic (will work on later. See WIP list for status)

Long/Chaptered Fics Updates

A Bit Dodgy - This fic is currently on hiatus. The plan is for it to return 07/31/2023. Things may change and if they do I'll let you all know! Thank you for bearing with me. More detailed explanation here.

Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 2 is coming right up! Just a couple scenes to add and it will be good to go. I'm thinking I'll be able to churn out one chapter a week but don't hold your breath please haha, things are getting really busy, but this fic is at the front of my mind right now for sure. - New chapter this week

The Fractured Moon - currently working on These Fractured Knights (TFM Bonus Chapters) 🫣😏 - Hoping to have the next chapter out this week. This has been moved to "longfics" since it will be at over 40k words upon completion. - New chapter this week

Mini-series Updates

Feeling You Can't Fight - New chapter coming out this week.

Not a Doctor - Part 2 coming soon - not for a while though.

Worth the Risk - taking a small step back from this for now. It’s not at the top of my inspiration list so I’m moving it down the line temporarily. - will work on a later date

The Good Doctors - idea by @burnincrown - Dr. Marc Spector - It's going to be a long time in the works, and it will probably replace TFM when that one is done. In development - Work on it a different week

Requests Updates

There are 4 ficlets left for my 1k follower celebration. Finally getting them done (I'm almost at 2k now lmao but won't be doing a celebration until a different milestone).

As a reminder, once these requests are finished, my requests will be closed for good. You can see the post explaining that here. Thank you again for the support and understanding!

Moon Boys X f!Reader by @simpforbritgents

Asking for something like Feeling Flustered where the moon boys are doing guided phone sex.

Marc Spector X f!Reader by @blueflowerhat

Marc shower sex based on AI prompt.

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by @campingwiththecharmings

This is the prompt that hit me like a Nathan-shaped mac truck! -> “if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by Anon

Cam girl reader x Nathan - Nathan turns to a cam girl, he's been kinda stalking her. (Excited hehe)

That's all for now guys! I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you continue to give no matter what. You're amazing <3

[creativecuteness]

Happy November 1st

Welp, the boops are gone, (Sadly I couldn't max mine out, I was too busy too but at least I got booped by a lot of people.) Halloween is over and I've still got a few Halloween fic chapters that need to be posted however after that I'll be taking a writing break. I've been busting my butt for a few months straight and I kind of struggled with writing motivation this month and when that happens, I know it's time to take some time off of fanfic writing. However, you're not going empty handed this month. Let's take a look at what will be posted both on here and my other socials.

Chapter 2 of Whitechapel Adventures Remastered: I was really hoping to post this more frequently, but I underestimated how long some of the chapters are and then I got caught up with Rory week and my free week chapter ended up being longer than I thought. But the chapter will come out soon.

One of a Kind Vamp: Chapter 5: As I said before, this is meant to be the free day prompt I wanted to get this out yesterday, but the chapter was longer than I thought and took longer to proofread and to be fair I hate rushing my fic's out, so I decided to just give it one more day in the oven it should be out later today.

Ghosts of the Past Chapter 5: Started work on this chapter a while ago and have yet to finish it I don't want to leave unfinished chapters for months at a time now, so I'll try to finish it this month.

My New Life in Despair School: four years ago, I created a Danganrpona 1 retelling with my OC's back in September I officially remastered the first act as a challenge to myself to see how far I've gotten as a writer and when I tell you I've fallen in love with the rewrite would be an understatement. However, I ran into a problem I met someone on ao3 who decided to help me flesh out the story a few years ago and I can't bring myself to just undo all that work. So, I'm officially starting the story all over again and labeling my original as Losercandy's edit. That way I won't have to undo all the work and take away the co-author credit because he helped me so much in my writing journey and it feels so wrong to take it all away. You can expect the new remaster on ao3 however Tumblr and Fanfiction.net will be under the original title since I never ported Losercandy's edit over there (mostly because I didn't know if it was allowed.)

The Adventure of a Lifetime The beginning of the end arc: Five years ago, I would start this story and now it's time to close the book so I can prepare for the next one. My Kingdom Hearts story is returning hopefully this month with both Neverland and Hallow Bastion my favorite world in Kingdom Hearts 1 and my all-time favorite part of the game (Mostly because I love Dark Riku's outfit come on guys he looks sooo good in it.) KH2 fanfic will still be a bit away but maybe I can post it monthly next year who knows (Hopefully it won't take me five years to finish it)

I think that's it; my new writing schedule is Monday's and Fridays this month only however I hope by December a few fic's will be finished but who knows with that said, I love you guys, and I hope we all have a good November. :)

[cozage]

Hey folks-

Im sure a few of you have probably noticed that all I’m posting right now is Daughter’s Return updates. And maybe you’ve even wondered why (if not, you can keep scrolling! Just gonna be a long winded explanation)

Im still going to be working on requests, just not right now. My life is super busy at the moment and for the next few weeks. I’m working a full time job, transitioning into a new (very demanding) job, and taking college classes online.

I bit off a little more than I could chew in life, so right now writing has to take a back seat, even if it is just about the only thing I want to be doing.

I have two-three more chapters of The Daughters Return already written and in various stages of editing. So when I get a few moments to decompress and write, that’s my easiest thing to work on, since the writing portion is already done. This is why it’s been getting so many updates (and will continue to get some even though I’m not writing anything else rn)

I will be writing other stuff! Very soon! Hopefully once I get out of my transition period for jobs, I’ll be able to really write again and give you guys some good content with other characters besides Ace.

It kinda sucks. I know. It sucks for me too. I want to write new stuff, but usually by the time I’m done with my daily obligations, my brain is totally fried. I’ll be back with new fun writings soon. I hope you’ll stick with me in the meantime, and check out my weekly updates of The Daughter’s Return if you’re interested, at least until we get back to our regularly scheduled program.

Im so honored to have your support and love. You have no idea how much it means to me.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update May 3, 2024

Tomorrow I graduate and get my degree. I know most of what I post is art and music so it might be a bit of a surprise to some of you to learn my degree is actually in chemistry! I worked really hard for it but got all A’s and B’s this semester. Really sad my internship is over but I’m hoping I’ll get a permanent job like it soon. I’ll be returning to my lab job from last summer pretty soon, but I think I might have next week off, at least for the most part, so I can make up for all the art work I didn’t do this week.

The main thing I did was work on the comic. I can probably finish the page I’m on in one more sitting. I’d guess I’m still only around 11 or 12% done, but that’s fine, I’ll have much more time to work next week so I hope progress will be faster. If anything having more time will bore me, and when I’m bored I have to work on something. Last night I stayed up real late for an anime campaign game (worth it) and whenever it wasn’t my turn, I’d draw.

I also did a bunch of songwriting stuff this week, trying to work more with lyrics. BATB lyrics are probably 50% done, also threw together lyrics that maybe I’ll turn into another smaller song, or maybe I won’t. If I get that one done I won’t need to prepare anything elaborate for visuals like the others, but also it’s so half baked that I’m not sure if I’m going to invest more time into it. I haven’t touched any other music projects this week.

I didn’t do anything with animation this week. Not even writing. I’m planning to invest more in that next week, too. I’ll try to get back to actually making the puppet rigs next week, since having three things to alternate between should keep me from getting too bored. Also because the new FNF update has real fun animations and make me want to flash animate again. Again I’m not sure how much I’ll need to animate in flash vs CSP, but I think getting faster at rigs will be a good skill to have. Plus I’m getting attached to the Kyo design, I might pull a nem or neru and rename him and split him off into his own character. If I do I’ll post a little character sheet for him, since he’ll probably be relegated to music related projects.

Last thing: TTRPG stuff: playing in the campaign last night helped me finally get unstuck on the campaign I’m writing, for real this time. Plus, for the next session we have to make new characters and happened to roll one of my favorite words (three guesses what word), so I expect to get very attached to that character. At night and in the car ride back home on Sunday I’ll try to write more, although good chance I’ll just be getting that character sheet ready and then take a big nap.

Next week I’m going to rest first and foremost, but then I’ll inevitably get bored and put in a rotation of projects to do, and hopefully have more to show. I’ve done a fair amount of smaller doodles that I’ll try to trickle out this weekend, and next week I’ll try to throw together a flash puppet, get more storyboards done, and more comic progress. Not necessarily in that order of priority. And then for smaller writing projects will be more epithet work or more song lyrics if I’m ambitious. I’ll try to get a schedule together on Monday, maybe I’ll post it if it’s good enough. Bottom line is I’m going to try to get back to doing art projects right as soon as my health is back to normal. I’ll also be in an area where I can get access to produce as well, so I’ll try to eat healthier to boot.

[pepermonias]

The left is my side of the bed

Linhardt x reader

After the war ended, it seemed that everything was all good and well, until it seems that an uprising somewhere that was Faergus started. Your husband, Linhardt has been requested to fight.

“I thought the war ended,” you said softly, a cup of coffee in your hands. The cup made a soft clank as it was pressed upon your bedroom vanity. “It is, right?” Your eyes watched as your sleepy husband began writing a letter, announcing his return.

Linhardt sighed softly, “Yes it did, four years ago.” The ink was not coming out correctly, so the tightly gripping of his pen made his knuckles turn white. The ending of the war should mean the ending of this fighting. He submitted his resignation to the Emperor should mean the end of fighting, however, his services were now being requested.

Your hand rested upon his, his grip on the item releasing under the warmth. The scholar’s eyes meeting yours. You sit down next to him, unable to do much more than stay in his proximity. Taking ahold of the letter you quickly read the contents.

“As an uprising in Faergus has been threatened, it is requested that you arrive to the capital in Enbarr at…”

That’s all you could read before realizing what was happening. The requested date was tomorrow. Linhardt took the paper from your hands after a few moments, making sure that he addressed everything that he needed to.

“How long will you be gone?”

“Only a few weeks hopefully. Then I can come back.”

You tried to hide the disappointment with your eyes but there was no use, you just nodded and muttered a quick, “I am going to take a shower.” Before you leave the room.

The burning hot water on your skin made the stinging of the letter not as prominent. This wasn’t the first time Edelguard had requested him to come back, however, every time was even worse. Linhardt was a scholar now— a crest scholar! The need to have him shouldn’t be so grand that his studies should be prevented, right? At least this wasn’t as bad as when your honeymoon had to be cut short due to a letter.

You wrapped a towel around your body, your eyes still cloudy from the thoughts. The clouds started to clear your head however when you see your husband in his usual spot. In bed.

You let out a giggle as you walk over to him, “What are you doing?” A few more giggles from the both of you as you poke his cheek. He tried to push your hand away. This resulted in a little tickle fight that was mostly just poking each other to no end. This lasted until Linhardt finally spoke up.

“I was tired,” he said, gesturing to the letter on the nightstand table, “Also, I need to make sure it’s perfect.”

“What’s perfect?” You said, walking to the other side of the bed, and climbing on.

“My side of the bed. I mean, you cannot tell me you won’t be sleeping in it while I’m gone.” Before you can utter another word, Linhardt moves his head to rest upon your lap. “You don’t need to move do you?”

No, no you didn’t.

Hi! Peperomia here! This is my first one shot which is why it is a little short. I have a schedule of when I want to post on here which I’ll make another post about. If you any requests or suggestions, please send them! Have a wonderful day! 🌸

[elminx]

Thoughts on my practice, August 2023

Note: As you might imagine, this will not be a full accounting of my practice as there are things that I cannot share for any number of reasons including but not limited to: you wouldn't understand, it's not mine to share, and it's ongoing magic.

I have been slowly coming out of magical hibernation as I get farther away from taking the awful meds (awful FOR ME) that made me so depressed that I was struggling to live, let alone do magic. There was a reckoning that had to be done. Everything was a mess - my altars, my relationships with my spirits, and the cobwebs inside my mind and spirit.

It was about this time last August that they upped my meds and as the months wore on into winter, my practice became virtually untenable. I have to forgive myself for that: both for agreeing to take meds that I knew from experience might be Bad, for continuing to take them as long as I did, and for falling off of my practice. I'm...working on it.

June and July were about playing clean up and catching up.

I had been doing a lot of work around my mindset and changing the way that I notice and experience the world. Though this is strictly "magic" in the sense that I don't normally cast spells toward this goal, it is unquestionably a part of my practice and my current path as a witch. So this month, feeling like I have the bones of my practice righted, I returned to this work.

Our month began with a full moon in Aquarius on the 1st. My intention for the month is: No matter how my day goes, I return to my heart. I tried to solidify this intention by focusing on my gratitude practice for the first eight days of the month - each day I came up with eight unique things that I was grateful for which I recorded in my witch journal. This is a reminder for me to look for the good things in life rather than focusing on the bad.

This is important for me because I have an anxiety disorder and tend to catastrophize - returning to my heart and being present with my body is my best method of alleviation. I was especially worried about this Venus retrograde which squared off with my Sun, Ascendant,y Mercury, and Chiron. Leo season is often a bit of a struggle for me since it activates so much of my chart (and I'm not fond of the summer heat either).

It happened that coincidentally on the 9th day of the month, my partner and I got into the car for the long trek north to visit his Grandmother. This was very path-affirming for me as, on our way, we got to stop and walk on the beach we used to stay at for all of my childhood. I'm deeply in love with the Atlantic Ocean (she is my deepest and truest love) and it was wonderful to return to the place where this affair began so many years ago. We spent the week wandering back and forth from Nana's house in the mountain to varying parts of the coast and it was wonderful and unquestionably heart healing.

Now, back home, I have had a week to return to my craft in earnest. I did some cat magic under the energy of the Leo new moon and then set to work on the harvest. It is August after all!

As a kitchen witch who likes to can and preserve food for the winter months ahead, August is go time. So far I've made and frozen tomato soup and tomato confit, and we've dried a bunch of onion, herbs, and hot peppers. Next on the docket is some salsa verde and then hopefully another batch of tomato soup and some red salsa as well. If I'm extra lucky with tomatoes from the farm, I'll end up with some marinara sauce as well because we really enjoyed ours last year.

This week begins my regularly scheduled work with Mercury Chthonia during their retrograde cycle and I'm actually pretty excited about this. The deeper that I get into self-exploration and shadow work, the more that I have learned to enjoy the deep slowdown of retrograde season. I have a bunch of half-written blog posts to edit, so this seems very Right On Time to me.

My other plan for this week is to clean off and rearrange my Earth Altar (see also: plant stand). The seasons are starting to change rapidly here and I am so ready for many Autumnal harvests. I might do a bit of work with my bestie goldenrod but otherwise, I intend to take it easy and, as I said, return to my heart with every opportunity.

[sasukimimochi]

eurghhghgh this gets a little long but i'm not putting a read more line cuz i put TLDR at the bottom and i want that shown.

i'm starting to think uploading weekly is more difficult than i thought now that i'm trying to also work on other things during the week, i haven't had time to work on any of the companion fics for gom or any of my other projects, and i think GOM is suffering a bit for it [last week i did just basic sketches for the chapter bc i was struggling to get everything done in time]

and that means i also don't really have time to stream if i want to draw while you guys watch, since i stream for a few hours at least [the one i did the other day was about six hr, you can see the highlight reel here, since the vod will eventually be deleted as all vods disappear after like 7 days. i just trimmed off the start and end where i'm talking nonsense and saved that as my highlight reel. sorry about the audio being a bit funky for my mic i'll bring my laptop closer to me next time].

But also the biggest thing [on top of wanting to complete more chapters and make a buffer]: i really want to reread the entirety of Ghost of mine so i can check for errors or inconsistencies, all i could do last week was listen to the tts of 12-16 while trying to get a drawing for 17 prepared, and i couldn't fix all the errors i heard since i was just trying to fix the timeline errors as a minimum before posting the chapter. the extra time would give me more time to proofread Ghost of Mine carefully, as well as give the new chapters and art the attention it deserves. [and...actually take care of my irl self better, it's hard to find time for things like cooking and cleaning beyond what i do for the older man i live with].

So what i'm trying to say is although i didn't think i needed it before, i am changing my mind about it now. so i think it's a good idea for me to upload every two weeks instead of one...at least until i (hopefully) am able to catch up to the point of having stuff prepared ahead of schedule.

i swear on my god awful adhd that i will sit down with my sprint bot [a bot that times me and tracks my word count, not an AI], and write with no distractions at least once a day [unless i have things that i am forced to do and can't get to it, but i can get a lot done when i'm using the sprint bot to make myself focus]. So i will hopefully be making the two week change worth it by getting a lot done and being able to return to weekly updates when things are less cramped and there's stuff prepared properly ahead of time.

I hope that's alright with all of you, cuz i love working on gom it's just a lot for me to get done in a week with everything else i want to do!!

just imagine if i had more time i might be able to start posting TWPT along side gom [it's the jiang cheng lan xichen companionfic for GOM that i haven't had time to write as of late, i have it completely outlined but i just don't have time to write it anymore rn. check it out on the masterpost for my MDZS projects]. or the MXY companionfic as well, which i already started but i can't keep working on because of time as well.

basically there's a lot going on for gom besides the main fic that i haven't been able to get to and it just continues to get further behind in those aspects because i can't get the time for it. so really, i need those two weeks and i'm only just now admitting it to myself that i can't push out updates every two days like i used to and especially not now with these other projects and wanting to branch my stuff out more. There's so much i wanna do! lmao

TLDR; i want to change to bi-monthly updates for GOM so that i can increase my quantity and quality of all projects and future updates properly. I appreciate your amazing patience and i hope to make this change worth it!

i will always update you guys if i make changes like this. i can't leave the changes in your hands completely, but i will continue to upload on sunday since that's the day you guys like! expect the next GOM update on the 23rd instead of the 16th, and every two weeks from the 23rd.

[bl6ckr0s3]

Leaving the Drake Inn

We been in Nashville, TN for 3 weeks now. It really feels like we been here awhile and longer than that since we moved down here. As I was re-reading my review on this motel from my last journal entry, I realized I repeated a lot of words. I wrote everything in a blur quick manner just to vent out of my system. I didn't really have the time to go back and edit what I typed from the review I plan on posting for this motel. I will edit definitely before posting of course, that's what I normally do. I usually read over what I write and edit the grammar and wordiness of my paragraphs. English class sure did served its purpose for my education in high school. English wasn't my most favorite subject, but I am happy that I had got a lot out of it during my college year with this Japanese teacher I had during the course of a semester I was taking for credit.

With the money that Joshua's mom and friend Bobby has sent, they helped dramatically during our struggles. We have enough money to get a week stay at the Extended Stay hotel right next to my job. We will be checking in this weekend on Sunday since that will be the morning we will be checking out of the Drake Inn. We are fed up of dealing with the broken room we been living in hence all the issues I have wrote from yesterday's post about the review I plan to post on this motel. I am relieved that we are going to that other hotel this weekend. We saw some negative reviews for that place, too. I just going to give a chance and pray that we get a decent room with half of the shit that we didn't have to deal with that we been dealing with here. Josh can take my car to work and I can walk home when I get off. I just hope that Joshua keeps this job for awhile until we are able to get our own place again.

I got a list of job bids from the past month for the Bid Awards. I noticed that a lot of jobs are open thru the Music City Annex which is another facility by the airport. That's the place that my co-workers were telling me about where they work packages and parcels. Due to the current job schedules that now me and Joshua have & the transportation issue of 1 car, I will have to be at my current place for awhile. Until we are able to have a car of our own again, then this is where I gotta remain for the time being. I am getting use to the RCS2 machine I been assigned at. I spoke to my supervisor Jamie who has to go to Tour 3 to help train the workers on that tour to properly do their job. He's not gonna like the schedule, but it's to help out for the time being. He's been training this lady April, the new MDO of my tour to learn some stuff before he goes to Tour 3. He has had me assigned to work the RCS 2 for awhile until I am use to it which I am getting the hang of clearing jams and such. I pretty much got my routine down now with this area other than not having the zip codes memorized of it's assigned bin. The annoying thing I still hate is having to call maintenance to fix the machine whenever something fucks up on it, but hopefully I will be able to find a good spot to work in that place if it's not on the robot machine. I felt like time was going by quicker last night than it did the other nights. I got to learn to stay busy to kill the time when it's not too busy. I think I learned a lot pretty quickly over the first week of being there. Maybe a bid will open up and I can bid out and be at a more happier spot to work in that small place. We shall see.

I plan on getting us a P.O. Box if we truly need it, but hopefully the Extended Stay hotel will do us better and than maybe we can start receiving mail there instead. I just barely did an address change last week because I thought we were going to be here for awhile. Drake Inn has a dumb rule where they will need you to be out for a day after staying for a month before you can return back if needed. I think it's stupid. At the Extended Stay, they don't do that. You can keep staying there and you don't need to be out on a certain day for whatever reason which will be convenient and easier. I don't understand why the Drake Inn does that, but whatever. I am relieved that we will be going to a slightly better hotel and leaving this dump. I hope that maybe I can learn to enjoy my new work place. I am thankful that I don't have to travel far to work, it's only a few minutes away, gas is cheap out here, and I don't have to walk very far between taking my break outside the building and clocking in and out at the time clock. The post office is right next door so if I need to drop off mail or do business it's right next door and I can go straight there in the morning after I get off work if I need to.

It looks like we may have to miss church service again this weekend because we need to be sure that we can check in the hotel on time by 3pm on Sunday. Church service is at 10am in Memphis on Sundays and Joshua doesn't think we would be able to make it back on time due to traffic, but even if we do he doesn't want to take that risk and miss our opportunity because of what we went through with the first hotel incident when we first got here to Nashville. Yeah, that sucked ass.

[melis-writes]

MOTH TO FLAME PART II ANNOUNCED & COMING SOON!

It's official, I'm continuing my Michael Corleone x Reader smut fanfic "Moth to Flame"!! Say hello to Moth to Flame: Part II! 😏❤

The news that you didn't know you needed or was coming, but it's here!! 🤩🙏🏻 37 chapters and 8 oneshots later in the fic, Michael and Victoria's story is far from over and I'm continuing it!

AO3 | MASTERLIST | THE MAKING OF MOTH TO FLAME (I) & (II) | FIC PLAYLIST | PROMPTS | SMUT PROMPTS |

I know what my readers want and have definitely been paying attention to what everyone's requesting and wanting to see especially through oneshot feedbacks and constant Victoria x Michael prompts in my inbox. 👀

That's not to mention the fact I'm already well through the process of planning out an entire new plot arc for the fic that couldn't ever fit into a single oneshot, let alone 5+. 😅

1956 canon year, baby Vincent's birth, and a whole lot more of the drama, angst and smut I know you guys have loved throughout the fic. 🤗💞

As for the two endings? Sure, they could apply if you wish. 😌 Or you can just ignore them entirely. 😂

👀 What will we see in Moth to Flame: Part II? 👀

Let's just say Victoria Ferrari Corleone has her own dark secrets that she'd never want revealed to the light of day...

More of Connie and Leonardo's marriage and relationship.

Baby Vincent's birth with Michael and Victoria's adjustment after the attempt on Victoria's life by Kay.

Central themes of forbidden love, jealousy, blackmail, betrayal, distrust, secrets, impact on the Corleone and Ferrari family reputations, and murder.

A revenge arc with a new character (and a returning one nobody ever expected) that will pull on heartstrings, cause rifts, distrust and ultimately lead to more tragedy.

A focus on Michael and Victoria's romantic, sexual and marital life.

More of the twins growing up and their personalities forming.

More holidays and family time spent with the Corleone's such as Father's Day, etc.

More of Victoria's family and brothers.

👀 How many chapters?! More than one ending? 👀

We're looking at about 11 new chapters so far (maybe more, maybe less, we’ll see!) because as you know, I may always increase/decrease that depending on how the plot goes. 🥴😂 

There will be one canon ending only. 👁👁 Love it or hate it, it's bound to be the most thrilling and exciting end to the fic yet.

I don't like to say "never again", but I do think this will officially mark the end of "Moth to Flame" for good. 😌❤ I'll still be uploading new fics including new multi-chapter Godfather fanfics amongst other oneshots but will of course remain heavily focused on Moth to Flame Part II first. 😛

👀 When is the first chapter of Moth to Flame: Part II coming out? 👀

I'm going to try and have regular fic uploads on Pacino Saturdays 😂❤ but please keep in mind I don't have a rigid schedule for any fic uploads. Life and work also keep me busy but I love to post regular updates of how chapters/fics are going, especially if they'll be uploaded earlier or later than expected. 🙏🏻 Pls respect this. 🥺 Amidst balancing other fics and prompts, as much as I love writing I don't work under pressure and definitely don't want to come down to writer's block or a burnout doing what I adore. 💔

The first chapter is coming out hopefully by the end of next week or maybe earlier!! 🤞🏻

[sour--disposition]

Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts

-

harry x fem!reader

-

Request: OOoO what if you do one where reader similar to Harry and is friends with talia and the other girls, but has never met the sidemen yet and gets invited to do a drinking video with them and they don’t know that reader can hold her liquor and Harry is at awe watching her smash the drinks and pins after her

please check my masterlist to see if requests are open

“Hey, are you busy on Thursday? Simon wants to know if you’ll be in a moresidemen video”, Talia asked as soon as you picked up the phone.

“Well, hello to you, too”, you laughed into the phone. “Yeah, I’ll just make sure I get my editing done by Wednesday night. Let Si know I’ll be there with you. What are we doing?”, you asked her.

“I think he wants us to do a say it or shot it. They wanted to do a lie detector but they couldn't find anyone to administer it or lend out the equipment”, she said.

“Yeah, sounds good”, you replied. “Just make sure someone tells me when and where, yeah?”.

It was Sunday evening, which meant you had 3 full days to film and edit a video that you were happy to put out. Being a a fast-growing youtuber, you tried to stick to a consistent schedule when you could. Along with streaming most nights, staying on top of your content kept you pretty busy.

“So, if I film tomorrow, I’ve got tomorrow night, Tuesday and Wednesday to edit. Need Wednesday night free for a shower to be ready for Thursday. There’s the stream with Talia tomorrow night and hopefully Gee on Tuesday. If I clear Wednesday night out... Okay. Seems good!”, you mumbled to yourself as you tried to make a game plan for the next two weeks.

Talia: youtube studio space, be there for 11am xx

Me: so im getting peppered mid-day or spilling all my secrets to like 5 million subs? lavely xx

Talia: shut up its bc you love me xx

Knowing you’d set yourself a schedule from tomorrow onwards, you set about enjoying your night. You had a bath, ordered your favourite take away and sat and watched your favourite show. The next few days were going to consist of hard work if you wanted to keep on top of streaming and getting a post-worthy video up by the end of the week.

-

By Thursday morning, you had a video you were proud to post, a few more hours of streams logged and were ready to face the moresidemen shoot in all its glory. You met Talia outside the Youtube studio space with a few minutes to spare before the guys were expecting you in there.

“You’ve not met Harry, have you?”, Talia asked as she pulled the door open for you.

“Thanks”, you smiled. “No, I think I might have been in an Among Us video with you lot that he was in, but other than that, no”, you confirmed, holding the next door for the two of you to go through.

“You can’t hide that blush from me by opening a door, Y/N”, Talia grinned, poking at your side.

“Oh, shush. Just because he’s cute...”, you trailed off, walking into large room. Immediately, you and Talia were ushered over to some of the crew, having mics strapped and clipped to you.

“Hey”, Simon said to the two of you as you finished being fitted with your mics. “Thanks for doing this”.

You were both pointed over to a table with assorted bottles on it, two Krox shot glasses and three chairs around it. There were a handful of chairs to one side of the space, a few of the guys already sitting down. “So I’m gonna ask the first questions and then the guys are probably gonna pitch in a few once those are done with”, Simon told you.

You and Talia both made noises of agreement, walking over to the chairs and sitting down. Simon started with his intro to the video, explaining what was going on and who you were. “Okay so, you either answer the question or you take a shot of your choice out of what we’ve got in front of you. We’ve got questions from instagram and twitter, and then our lovely audience are going to be able to ask questions themselves. Are we ready?”.

The questions started relatively tame, most of them were about your friendship with Talia, Gee and Freya or the guys, and most of Talia’s were about her and Simon. You didn’t even think about pouring a shot until Simon had sacked off the instagram and twitter questions for not being ‘juicy’ enough.

“What’s the weirdest sex story Y/N has told you?”, JJ asked Talia. 

“I will take this shot for you if you even consider telling anyone this”, you told Talia immediately. She rolled her eyes as she grinned at you, reaching for the vodka bottle next her shot glass and untwisting the cap. “Thank you”, you sighed.

“Y/N, what’s the story that you won’t let Talia tell us?”, Ethan asked from next to JJ, the two of them breaking out into giggles as soon as you let out a huff. You reached for the closest bottle to you, pouring out a shot and throwing it back straight away.

From then on out, the questions started going downhill. The guys kept it somewhat reined in for Talia, probably out of respect for Simon and knowing how awkward it could end up being with the two of them sat right there. You, though? No ground was left untouched.

Bra size? Asked. Favourite position? Asked. How many one night stands? Asked. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Asked. Ever had an STI? Asked. There were some questions you had to drink to just so they could make it into the video. 

Talia leaned over to Simon, tipsily giggling as she whispered something into his ear.

“Y/N”, Simon stated, setting his eyes on you. “Who’s the best looking out of the Sidemen, in your opinion?”, he asked you.

“Oh, that’s easy”, you shrugged. “Harry”, you answered bluntly. It was only when Talia’s eyes widened slightly that you realised you’d actually said it out loud. You smacked a hand over your mouth quickly. “I didn’t actually mean to say that out loud”, you whispered to Talia.

The guys had broken out into a ruckus behind you, cheering Harry and shoving him around lightly, seemingly amusing Talia and Simon. You were the only one out of the three of you with your back to the boys, and you daren’t turn around now. 

Talia leaned over to you whilst the guys were still poking at Harry. “I only got Simon to ask because Harry hasn’t stopped staring at you since you started drinking”, she whispered to you, sending you a little wink.

“I - er - think it’s about there that we wrap it up”, Simon laughed sheepishly from next to you and Talia. 

You were directed over to the same people who strapped you into your mic to help you out of it. The woman finished fiddling with the microphone on your collar and got you to turn around, bringing you face to face with Harry.

“Oh, hi”, you blushed. He smiled back, seeming surprised you were speaking to him. “I wanted to apologise, I didn’t mean to just blurt that out. I clearly drank quicker than I’m used to”, you laughed awkwardly, reaching up to scratch at your neck nervously.

“Ah, no need”, Harry laughed lightly, scratching at a spot on his upper chest. “You handed the shots really well, if you ask me. Half of how many you drank would have had most of these guys on the floor, it was quite impressive”, he told you with a smile.

“Thank you, I was terrified coming in here that I was going to make a massive fool out of myself”, you admitted.

“It’s part of being on a Sidemen shoot, unfortunately”, Harry chuckled. 

You were both finally released from your microphones and wires, being told you could go on your way by the crew members. Just as you were about to leave, you heard harsh whispers behind you. Turning around, you saw JJ and Ethan both spurring Harry on to do something.

“Uh - er. Before you leave, could I get your number?”, Harry asked quietly, hand returning to the spot on his upper chest.

You smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand for his phone. “Of course you can”, you told him, typing your information into his contacts. “I better get a text though”, you told him cheekily.

“You can count on it”, he told you, watching as you turned to Talia and linked arms with her before walking out of the studio space.

“I so totally saw that”, she told you, poking at your side with a massive grin plastered across her face.

“Just let me be happy and tipsy, Talia”.

[pebblysand]

the end of feeling like shit.

tl;dr: i've decided to stop the monthly posts for the time being.

the truth is that i started writing them in the spring of 2021, at a time when i was really struggling with my mental health. i was in the midst of taking the bar exam (and thinking i would never pass), jobless, experiencing a very significant and scary bout of writer's block, single, and trying to survive through all of that, and a global pandemic. i felt the need to anchor myself in a world that felt like i was just floating by. i blamed myself for not being enough - constantly - and when i noticed those behaviours, i decided it would be good for me to take time out of my day, once a month, to pause. to reflect on the time passed, on the things i did accomplish, on what made me sad, or happy, or excited, or angry, on my feelings and where i was at in life, etc. writing these posts felt welcome and grounding, and just like journaling for some people, they were a way to watch time go by, be kind to myself where i felt lonely and isolated away from family and friends, etc.

lately, as you might have noticed, they've more or less turned into rec posts. and, to be honest, the reason for that is that i ... no longer feel like shit? it's been a few months now that writing these posts has felt sort of superflous, like time taken out of my day to write in a way that i don't really need to write anymore. i'm fine. i mean, obviously work is a hellscape (#capitalism) and i still blame myself for not doing enough (the guilt i feel about not updating castles as regularly as i would like is reeeeeaaaal) but overall, i'm happy. much happier than i was last year. and now, writing these posts feels like a chore and while i do like doing recs and stuff, i feel like that can be done whenever i feel like it, rather than on the basis of a strict, monthly schedule.

i think i just made the decision now because: i'm in london this weekend. the sun is shining, and thank god the heatwave has stopped. i walked 9km this morning, went to the natural history museum (looooved it!), came back to my hotel to pee/change and was like: ugh, i need to write the monthly post before going back out, i won't have time to next week. and then, thought: you know what, i actually don't have to? i mean, the posts were good while they lasted, and i'm glad to have written them all, to have that piece of history to look back on, but they don't serve me anymore ❤️. i might get back to them in the future but at this point, i no longer need them and i think that's a good thing :).

plus, now that the podcast has happened, i feel like i can rec things i wanna rec on there whenever. same thing for updating you on how writing is going. plus, you can always (and please do) reach out through asks, etc. if you have any questions, i love to answer those. and, if i have a longer opinion/take i want to express, i can always do it on here, whenever i have time/feel like it.

as for castles, i had a little bit of a PANIC last week when i realised that july is hovering dangerously close and i've still so much work to do (basically: finish editing 11, finish the first draft of 12, write 13 from scratch 😱) and so little time until august. so: i've booked a couple of days off from work next week, which i'm really hoping will 1) allow me to finish the drafts and only have to edit in july? a girl can dream and 2) rest a little bit. my sleep has been all over the place lately and return to the office has hit me like a tonne of bricks. so, expect more ramble-y updates as i work through castles next week, and hopefully make progress.

anyway, i hope you're all doing well. i know the last couple of days have been hard on the world, so take care of yourselves.

love,

pebbles.