#hopefully I got everyone's tags correct xD

[respheal]

Sadly I don't have much that's really Twilight-centric in my reading list, but here's my current list of recs (with Tumblr accounts where I can find em) in no particular order! I'm a big fan of a couple ships, Legend/Ravio (of A Link Between Worlds) and Four (Vio)/Shadow (of Four Sword Adventures), so several of these include those ships.

A Dark Among the Lights by @luckylectio (In progress) - Dark Link joins the Chain! Fucking hilarious narrative voice

Alterity by @toyouhellohowareyou (Part 3 in progress) - The Chain winds up in Legend's first adventure and meets Baby Legend (aka Lore), which turns into them figuring how to solve Four's upcoming Bad End

Fourfold by @gurlgallade (In progress) - Four post-adventures but pre-LU trying to figure out how to…not be a godsdamned mess. Very good character study!

The Wondrous Sword of Legend by @imperialkatwala and @polynomialpandemic - Hyrule found a very special talking sword when he was a kid :> (very very good Legend & Rulie content, the twist hits like a truck, def a fave)

An Emerald Ring by @not-freyja - Mutual pining between Legend and Ravio but they're disasters. Same continuity as This is an Adjuration

Faerule and the No Good Very Bad Road Trip by @imperialkatwala and @polynomialpandemic - Hyrule meets the Chain but he's stuck as a fairy at the time

The Scientific Method by @floof-writes (In progress) - Four, Legend, and Hyrule experiment with magic and accidentally invent Life Transference. And Hyrule gets stuck casting it. I'm currently going insane over some of the worldbuilding

A Curse of Blood by @tashacee - Hyrule's blood curse gets REAL BAD when not kept under control.

Links in a Chain @tashacee - The second fic, Untarnished, had me sobbing. The third fic is a fun little time loop murder mystery in Clock Town, and the fourth fic (in progress) just popped off in a big way and I've very here for it. Twilight also has some excellent moments and I ship him and Shad now.

willow bark and chamomile by @ssschrodingers-cat - Legend has never been more prepared for something in his life when the rest of the Chain get trapped in dreams. Dramatic character study but also there's an excellent running gag with linguistics

A Piece of Heart by @shearlin - Gift giving as a love language :'3 Very sweet. One of the fics that turned Legend into my blorbo

Doppelgänger AU by @starlight-eclipsed - post-LU Legend (Legato) rejoins the Chain in the middle of their adventure. He's fine :)

His Stolen Heart Still Beats - The Fierce Deity Mask is empty, and Time slowly pieces together why. Angsty!

Just Add Water @cheshire-cait-sidhe - Very interesting take on the curse of the mermaid's tail. Also angsty in a similar vein to the previous!

A cave like a net (and a spilled secret) by @lennsart - Legend gets trapped in an underwater cave, which would be fine except the mermaid curse progresses a lot more than it should

My Heart's Forsaken Me by @sisters-sideblog - Time accidentally picks up the Four Sword and gets split along his timeline

This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja - The damn fic that awakened the hyperfixation. Holy fuck crimes against the timeline. Ravio has a conspiracy board. The whole damn thing is a timeloop. What the FUCK is going on with Vio.

comma flirting by @caramel-catss - Mailed correspondence between Rav and Leg over a developing romance :>

A Pear and a Portal - Wind meets the Chain, but he's possessing a seagull at the time.

Fortuity by @toyouhellohowareyou and @whitewinterstar - Four gets caught in a ritual to resurrect Ganon and Shadow gets revived. Sweet lil Four/Shadow fic

Like a Bayonet Against my Throat by @silverne-nonsense - Platonic soulmates AU where a handprint appears on a person's body where their soulmate first made physical contact. Four's handprint is wrapped around Legend's throat (this ends up soft AF I promise and so so bittersweet).

Shadowed by @gia-d and @not-freyja - Something is very wrong(?) with the new guy, Four, and Wind is extremely sus about it.

Kisses and Shells (and the Sickness from Hell) by @cluelessmoose - A good sickfic! Legend catches a merfolk disease and it takes waaaay too long for the rest of the Chain to figure it out.

Heartbreaker by @cheshire-cait-sidhe - Legend/Ralph (of Oracle of Ages). Short fic of Legend and Ralph being absolute bisexual disasters

I'm also currently reading Steel Can't Carry Me Now by @elle-rosewater, which is Warriors-centric kiiind of pre- and post-LU but the rest of the Chain is haunting him (in a good(?) way). It's very good but it is long (which is why I haven't caught up with so many subscriptions ahahaha)

Fellow linked universe fans.. I am brand new here (as well as a brand new legend of zelda fan, as the only experience I had with LOZ really was the Nintendo Land mini games on the Wii U), please please share with me your favorite fics. It’s been almost a week since I stumbled in here and have like 6-7 pages of fanfic i have saved on ao3 that i’ve read through but I’d love some recommendations if you don’t mind 🥺

Currently playing through twilight princess for the first time rn as well and DAMN, I just got turned into a wolf for the first time im obsessed with this game.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 1

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Chapter 1: Scum

two seconds in an i'm already intrigued by the "anti-anti" dynamic. We have an anti-hero Luo Binghe and the "anti" fan Shen Yuan. p.9

honestly we live for a king like Shen Yuan though - bless those fans who make concise summaries in the epic fandoms. p.9

Fucking hell Luo Binghe :( p.10

Side note unrelated to the plot of this- the amount of page flips I have done to hit that guide at the back these first couple pages; outrageous.

in relation to point "Fucking hell luo binghe :(" even his teacher is Bullshit. p.10

ENDLESS ABYSS?! p 11

okay, but listen, is it truly the dark path if he's part demon? like isn't that the correct path for him? p.13

to clarify the previous point- I was rooting for him until he "began to eradicate each one of the human realm's great righteous sects" p.12

like okay, those who wronged him, totally fine- but everyone though?

crying at this authors name LOL p.12

I get it Shen Yuan- big same. I'd be pissed too (re: dying at the end of the shitty book) p.13

the RAGE of his dying breath oh no ahahahaha p.13

Shen Yuan has trained his entire life for this moment (re: transmigration) p.16

oh god "please ensure that no score falls below zero, or the system will automatically mete out punishment" p17

Well damn. I wouldn't want that either (re Shen Qingqiu's fate) p.19

this point system is WILD. Poor guy dies if he fails, jesus p.20

honestly same, if I was transmigrated into the body of a martial magic man, I would be checking out my new body too p. 23

YES. POINTS FOR PLOTHOLE RESOLITIONS!! p. 24

Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu: ERROR 404 p 26

okay thoughts: this is such a crazy role to navigate. he knows what's theoretically going to happen but he has to change the plot WITHOUT breaking character p.29

RE: ERROR 404. Super gross that he was having these thoughts about a CHILD. I did not know Luo Binghe IS FOURTEEN at this point. :( p.30

omg. he's (shen yuan/shen qingqiu) also over here talking about finding a girlfriend LOL p31.

i'm crying XD "Holy Shit" p.33

at least Shen Yuan is aware that Shen Qingqiu is NASTY. p.35

Ming Fan is vile too- SO rude. p.38

oh no, im nervous for Luo Binghe (re- his necklace and Ming Fan's squad) p. 40

okay but honestly he deserves it. He (shen yuan/shen qingqiu) just got points removed for the leaf thing and now he's over here doing it again. p.46

the SASS he (Shen yuan) is giving this system p.50

oh jeeze the fact that Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is unlocking new content is STRESS. p55. Like he is barely surviving the plot, it's been like 10 minutes, and he's over here unlocking a side quest already

finding a loophole to help Luo Binghe- I love it! p59.

This concludes my first chapter!!! Hopefully I have a new chapter tomorrow

[blackdigitalrose]

Fri - Healin' Good Pretty Cure - Ep 7 -9

And it is here again! Although this time, our reporter actually has redeeming qualities and their whole single character trait isn't about getting a scoop. (It's understandable why Binan parodied this trope.)

Ha, they have quite the three musketeer vibes going for them for some reason?

And it turns out they aren't limited to element, it was Rain here and was healed by Grace. Although she used the Harvest bottle and I'm not entirely sure what it did different? ┐(´•_•`)┌

(＾▽＾) Good gravy he's so adorable, probably my fave fairy so far at current! He tries so hard.

o.O... it still feels like a bit of a stretch for getting into the High Jump but ok... yet it seems strange to have an ep about Chiyu struggling to jump, straight after having her break a school record in the ep just prior.

And how is it her fault? You tagged along, why did neither of them set an alarm? Chiyu on her own probably would have already been back and had it all timed out to fit in before school.

And I stand corrected, they thought of ways.

Well, at least they don't seem to be as frequent or as easily obtainable as the Linkle stones, this is the second one, after about 3 eps, (yes, there are fewer of them but they have the ep count to spare still.)

He said it! He's not wrong though, the big bad could be about 90% of Precure End Bosses at current.

The dress up order seemed very backwards to me but it isn't exactly something I have much experience with and then they were all gone next scene ^^; At least everyone got be involved though in one way or another.

Hinata is very hard on herself? Although she can't go around calling Press-boy weird, when she's exactly the same as him, just with a different interest. Nor would I have said dedicated as word choice but enthusiastic, however not the sort that sucks you in and makes you get enthusiastic about even the most mundane things, which I think they're trying to do (I've seen it done better), spirited works though.

XD Nyatoran just swings up Grace's arm in response just to join over objecting. A pity about the whole secret identity thing, it would have made a good photo.

The Ice bottle got used to but at least this time, you could see it do something. Still not sure what Harvest was suppose to do though?

End result is good though, it was a nice little and more unique bonding session. Hinata is dialled to 11 but her heart is in the right place, even if she does get a bit eccentric with it and others can't keep up but then, why does she think so lowly of herself at the same time? Those cracks aren't even subtle, there's definitely a bit more to her story.

It does feel like a good trio so far, giving the fairies more personality, gives them more to bounce off and keeps the dynamics fresher. It is one of the ones I do look forward to coming back to, hopefully it keeps it up.

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

highlights: I finally got around to designing a [blanket] on society6, and reshared some [resources] that might hopefully make the tough times a little less scary.

also the disgorb will be shutting down at 9pm PST on December 16th, because running it takes a lot of energy and I need that energy for other things :( to sort-of-replace the disgorb as a more direct way to communicate with me instead of waiting for reply roundups, I’ve made an email address specifically for this blog: kirbythegorb@mail.com (not a typo)

readmore for length

on [cold]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: that reminds me i need to get a hold of some gloves and a hat before it gets cold again, its suspiciously warm here 👀 kirby needs like a big dumb giant parka bubble coat, idkw but those kinds of coats crack me up. recreate that one scene from cowboy bebop with spike in his dumb jacket lol anyways this was cute as always love seeing the gumdrop on my dash ☺

I feel silly for missing your tags for a couple days but I saw someone else make a similar suggestion anyway! at least it still got to be drawn lol (I should rewatch cowboy bebop, I don’t think my partner has seen it...)

on [blanket]:

@unluckyxse7en said: oh god this would be so soft i can imagine it already

the blankets society6 prints actually are super soft! I intentionally didn’t use my regular fuzzy looking brush for the design because their blankets are so fluffy -u-

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: YES I WANT THIS BLANKET FOR CHRISTMAS

same tho lol someday I will be able to get myself one!

on [sleeby]:

@aggron-rocks said: i would like to hug him

well good news kirby would like to be hugged! works out for everyone lol (someone on the disgorb, I think it was lostscarf, shared a product image of a kirby plush that is also a heating pad, the most huggable thing in the world.......)

on [resources]:

@soimafangirl2341 said: Those coloring pages are so cute omg 🥺 all your arts just awesome and adorable

aww, thank you! I actually had a lot of fun coloring them so I hope other people do too :>

on [study]:

@mimekyo-deactivated1421 said: Image downloaded, very cool post op

hehe thank you! (please remember to credit if you end up using it for anything <3)

@aggron-rocks said: he is concentrating

concentrate! focus! keep steady! (does anyone on earth understand that besides me and my brother?)

on [fort]:

@shyyren said: akdhskdhhd baby's self imposed timeout box

sometimes you just gotta put your own brain in timeout until it’s more cooperative!

on [geometry]: (title courtesy of @seekersqueaker)

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: me when numbers. i cant math like at allllllll. i love his confused face so much

extremely valid. (I was pretty good at math in school but I have definitely forgotten All of it. altho to be fair I only looked up one of those formulas :v )

@goosebytrade said: phenomenal. he's trying to read

this made me laugh out loud, thank you XD

@galacticscrap said: What's he thinking about

if the oven takes 10 minutes to preheat and the prep stage takes 15 minutes, should he preheat the oven first or get the first 5 minutes of prep done, and then the next dish cooks at a higher temperature, should he prep that while the first dish is in the oven, or wait until he can change the temp? then if the first dish is cooling on the stove he’ll only have one burner clear to make the third dish, should he do that while the first dish is in the oven instead? (optimization is complicated!)

from the ask box:

@traceylink said: i will draw kirby this time :)

I hope you have fun!

from finally remembering I can filter notes for mentions now:

thank you very much for the tag on this [positivity] post, @aestheticpaperowl! I think I’ll let my reblobs speak for themselves for some folks I think deserve more attention rather than hopping on the train, but it was very sweet of you!

@your-local-neighbourhood-kat tagged me in this very cute [art] by @yourneighbortoasty (a while ago, whoops <.< ), you are correct that I like it very much and it is absolutely going into my list of blogs to raid for quality reblobs!

[koizumicchi]

I'm following you, and u keep talking about lipxlip and it made me curious. So I was wonder where do i start? Do i need to follow a specific order?

Hello anon and thank you for the follow!!! This may be late now but nice to meet you!!! And I apologize for this late reply!

It's a bit hard to map out but I'll do my best to make a guide :D This is long so buckle up!

LIP×LIP is an idol unit by HoneyWorks (haniwa for short). Haniwa is a music-inclined group producing their own original songs. The main members are: shito and gom, in charge with the songs, and yamako the main illustrator. There are also other support members like mogelatte and the band members, etc. Haniwa is known for their songs and the MVs they release that tell the stories of their characters. Before, they only upload their videos on nico nico douga (that's where I discovered them but correct me if I'm wrong, anyone) but they have their own youtube channel now.

LIP×LIP is a 2-person idol unit composed of Shibasaki Aizou and Someya Yuujirou. When they debuted, their last names weren't revealed so everyone got used to calling them by their first names. Aizou is the blonde with the hair tie; he is the 'wild' image of LIP×LIP, the cool guy, the sunshine brimming with energy, but in truth, he's resentful and usually seen openly angry at anyone when not in idol mode. Yuujirou is the blue-haired with uneven bangs; he is the calm side of LIP×LIP (like the moon), the gentle tones, the pretty boy; but outside his idol persona, he looks down on others inferior to him, and glares at anyone he doesn't like. Off-cam, he and Aizou don't have a good relationship; they argue and disagree with each other a lot... but they got along somewhere somewhen and are now partners or 'rivals' as they like to put it. They may be two-faced jerks, but trust me, they are valid (once you know where they are coming from) and eventually got better as a person. I'll let you in on a secret: they are soulmates but they just don't realize it yet.

That's basically the general summary. I try to avoid mentioning major spoilers but if you have more questions about them, you can try checking the wikia site and if that's not enough for you, my ask box is always open!

I knew LIP×LIP during their debut period but tbh right now I'm not exactly sure what direction should I point you to XD i guess you can start with their MVs. that's where I got to know them anyway. liplip wasn't that popular at first; they were meant to be side characters, I assume, but the fans love them too much and so LIP×LIP got too powerful and landed several collabs which lead to growing popularity.

MVs (they're on youtube dont worry, just search using their kanji titles) : 1. Romeo - debut, Feb 2017 2. Nonfantasy 3. Hitsuyou Fukkaketsu - only a short mv 4. Koi wo Shiyou - a collab so liplip isnt the focus 5. Yume Fanfare 6. Yappa Saikyou 7. Rodeo 8. Choco Kano 9. Chiisana Lion ft Minami

After Romeo, you can watch these in any order you like since they can stand on their own, except for Yume Fanfare and Yappa Saikyou - those you gotta watch consecutively.

Then there are the other MVs which liplip is featured: Heroine Ikusei Keikaku and Heroine Tarumono, among others. There's also the short drama video wayback in 2017 focusing on Aizou and Yuujirou being a bitch on this girl fresh out of a province (excuse me this makes me laugh everytime i remember it), subbed by Denzero - he has an fb page of the same name and he uploaded it there. Hopefully he hasn't deleted it. Watch it before Nonfantasy for more context.

And then there's the Docchi Kiss episode, released last year. I translated it myself, and with the help of some friends, we were able to sub it! I recommend you watch it after Yume Fanfare since it was released after that MV. You can actually watch it after Romeo (the ep is the making video after all) but I think the 'fanservice' wouldn't be that believable XD and of course the 2 drama tracks featured on docchi kiss!! I've made a sunmary of that as well!

The songs w/o an MV :'(( - Judge - Tsuki no Hime - White Day Kiss - Repaint - Fiancee (also on youtube but sung by vocaloids gumi and miku) - Seika (Yuujirou's solo) - Yellow (Aizou's solo)

I have translated these (except for Fiancee) as well, you can find them under my /translation tag. Please do not omit Seika and Yellow. I cannot stress this enough. That's where you'll understand Aizou and Yuujirou's relationship and their thoughts on each other.

There's also the light novels. I think there are about 3 now? For heroine ikusei keikaku, romeo, and kono sekai no tanoshimikatta. It isnt available atm unless you buy them of course. There are also short stories, written in Japanese but translated from Spanish by Mar @yume-fanfare, you can read them on their blog!

And of course, the big project!!! The anime film!!! Kono Sekai no Tanoshimikatta or How to Enjoy this World, to be released on 25th of December this year! It will reveal their pre-idol days, the audition, the days before and after their debut! You can check /HoneyWorksMovie on twitter for more information. and check out Haru's blog @takanenene for translation of the info. The OP and ED songs for the film, sung by LIPLIP themselves will be released on Dec 23 so we'd probably get an mv or two before that date!

Well, that ends it! Sorry for the lack of photos or direct links; our connection here isn't exactly stable for the past weeks :

[artbymesa]

Unforeseen Consequences

Admiral ZEX, The Captain, Dax

Suggestive themes but no “details”. (Not my kind of writing lol)

I’m really. not sure why my brain fixated on writing this. I was introduced to Star Control and Admiral ZEX by @zarla-s​ (hopefully this tag isn’t bothersome?). I was in the process of introducing him to some friends and it spurred the thought: Would ZEX even expect a human to respond positively to his advances? He’s probably gotten pretty articulate with deflecting rejection and criticism and judgement, but what if that wasn’t the case for once? How well would he handle it?

I apologize for however out of character or Not Canon this may be, but it was a thought that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it down. And then after I started it, it got away from me. Its been a long, long time since I’ve wrote a fanfic whoo boy

I think I wrote this with the presumption of how it would take place if you could romance him in the game, and the consequences (for everyone) of that XD

“The scope of our relationship can grow as close as you wish.” Zex said with a foreign body language of bravado.

The Captain regarded him for a moment before leaning forward into the Admiral’s personal space, a grin pulling at the corner of their lips. “Oh? Close…how~….?”

Zex sputtered, caught off guard and overwhelmed by the human’s sudden, unexpected close proximity. A human had never so much as dared to tread within a couple feet of him, much less ever enough to feel their breath. He had grown rather bold with this certainty. Perhaps a measure of that was his own doing–  intentionally or not, his forthright tendencies wedging itself in between any opportunity. Being turned away, shrugged off or kept at a distance was the standard order of things. It was easy. It was predictable. And it had been so long, he never really expected that standard to be challenged. Needless to say, this threw him off.

Even still, he may have been a hopeless romantic, but he was no fool. He was aware of what the human stood to gain by winning him over. Manipulating him just to secure his military genius was low– but with a suspicious lack of human behavior like this ever before– not unheard of. He regained a brittle amount of composure, steeling over his words to obscure it. “Captain. If you intend to taunt me please do so in the way I am accustomed. I’ve hardened to the ridicule of my countrymen but faking interest in me is a different manner of cruel. If all you wish is for an alliance I am happy to oblige without the exploitation of my…weakness.”

The Captain challenged his words and moved a little closer, resting a relaxed arm on the admiral’s desk and shrugged. “I’m not faking, Zex.”

The admiral stared at it, then up at the captain when they said his name informally. Anyone else he may have corrected, but there was a warmth to it from the human that he so badly wanted to indulge. He had to confess, he had fantasized about similar circumstances and how he would conduct himself, but now that it was actual happening, he froze. He was usually so articulate but words escaped him, he was usually so well composed but this human had a way with disrupting it like a house of cards. As much as it currently worked against him, it was new to him. Exciting.

Reality began to sink in when the human didn’t recoil their appendage away, instead looked at him expectantly for a response. The gesture wasn’t an error. It was intentional. Even despite their lack of tendrils, humans had such a way with expressing emotion. It was one of the things he loved most about them. This one was a challenge to read, but everything he could gather from them seemed genuine. Which meant…

He struggled for a moment, realizing the position he had put himself in before laughing nervously. “Would you look at this? The first time a human reciprocates interest and even I succumb to a measure of my people’s distrust. You must forgive me, Captain. It has been a long time…” The admiral seemed to fight with some kind of internal conflict for a moment before the human settled it for him.

They reached out, dexterous fingers closing over his arm tendril in a comforting gesture. Their hand was warm, far warmer to the touch than he anticipated.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

Before the admiral could speak, the human was standing. And before he could ask if he had done something wrong, they were on his side of the desk.

A lot of things began to happen at once, and he opposed none of them.

-

“Zex?” The human asked, pulling on their robes not a moment before the admiral could take in one last look at their beautifully crafted anatomy akin to a living, breathing sculpture. They truly were a unique work of art forged from the galaxy and experiencing them so up close was a privilege.  The captain’s question was what pulled him out of his trance.

“Mmm?”The human studied the quiet planet outside from the window. Pensive observation stirred a thought that pricked the edge of their brow. They had such a world of emotion hidden behind subtle changes in their features. But interpretation was a different story.

“How much do you actually know about humans?”

It was a good thing VUX couldn’t blush.

“Admittedly, Captain, much more now than I did an hour ago.”

The human gave a kind but cheeky grin, looking down as if it helped them compose their words differently. Their “smile” as it were, had been toothy and startling when he first witnessed it. It contradicted what he otherwise should have interpreted as some kind of feral threat display. This was so very different. It was tender and warm, and it melted a part of him he didn’t know existed. Since then, he had been compelled to incite it as often as he could. They seemed to respond best with his banter and advances, which was a pleasure in and of its own.

“I’m serious. Be honest.”

The admiral thought for a moment.

“I know that your people are beautiful. And very clever. And resourceful. I know you are a uniquely hardy species. I’ve heard the stories of your people surviving conditions that would have easily killed others by shock alone. As I’m sure you know by now, my countrymen do not share my appreciation. They think you grotesque.”

“What else have they said about us?”

“They may have mentioned that you are stubborn. And reckless.”

“Do you believe them?”

“….I am beginning to consider it.”

“Perhaps you should.”

There was a pause.

“Why do you ask me this now?”

The Captain was quiet momentarily, but returned to Zex. Perhaps it was touch starvation, but he hadn’t realized how much he craved it until the captain returned to settling a hand against what equated to his own. They didn’t make eye contact just yet.

“The Ur Quan enslaved my people. What’s left of them.”

“Oh. Oh, dear. I was not aware. I am sorry, perhaps I’ve lived in isolation longer than I thought. I suppose that explains the lack of human visitors.” The gears began to turn. “But you arrived here in an armed starship. You weren’t given clearance to leave either, were you? You cannot be planning what I think you are planning. Captain, resisting the Ur Quan is madness.”

“And my visit here is a direct violation to your people’s alliance with the Ur Quan. I suppose if nothing else, reputation is accurate.” The human sighed. “You mentioned an alliance but I can’t expect that of you. You would be labeled a traitor. Your people already have enough reason to kill you without my interference as it is.”

“I am not attached to this planet, Captain. Nor interaction with my people, unfortunately.”

“If you think VUX are bigoted, you’ve not met enough humans.”

“How do you mean?”

“My peoples’ entire history is built on conflict and persecution. Our biggest challenge has always been coexisting with eachother. It’s a harsh lense to see it through, but that in mind it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to come with me either. Even if we do win the war, your help or not, life on Earth afterward would never be peaceful. They’ve done far more to their own people over far less. They’d tear you apart.”

“You’re suggesting this shouldn’t last.”

“I’m suggesting that we consider everything involved before this gets complicated.”

The admiral was quiet for a moment in thought. The human brought up a lot of good points, much to his displeasure. But that wasn’t going to deter him so easily.

“While I must commend the forethought, you are forgetting that tactical improvisation in dangerous situations is my specialty. Besides, this planet has always been more of a prison than a place of retirement—no matter how they attempted to sell it me. I saw through it. The whole reason I am here, Captain, is because I refused to be someone I am not. I can assure you. I would rather pursue an opportunity for a life worth living and the one that I want, however that is defined, than to live out my days rotting on this planet in fear. It would simply go against everything I stand for. I would join you on your travels… if you’d have me.”

The human sighed realizing he likely wasn’t going to let it go— not after making a conclusion like that. Not that they truly wanted to refuse him anyway.

That smile returned—quieter, more subtle this time. Almost somber. They reached over to the side of his face and stroked with the back of their hand. His eye closed, leaning into the touch with some measure of tension fading from his posture.

“I suppose it makes it easier when we’re not investing in another bunk on board.” The human teased. “And after all this is over, Alpha Cerenkov I can’t be the only one of its kind in the galaxy.”

The admiral’s shoulders relaxed, and an arm curled around the captain’s.

“We have some time to prepare.  My countrymen visit occasionally to exchange supplies and resources but they’ve been scarce lately and I do not think they know you are here. Fortunately the others that live here permanently are—“

“Sir, I didn’t hear the human’s departure and it’s been awfully quiet, are you o-.OHMY-“ After entering through the door, Dax dropped and shattered what seemed to previously be some kind of beverage he was holding before scrambling to shield his eye.

“Dax!? Have you no sense to knock?!”

“I did NOT see what I think I just saw.“ He nearly pleaded. "Tell me that isn’t what’s going on here. Admiral, I swear to–”

“Who is—?“

“My sub commander.” Zex retrieved and put on a robe of his own irritably before standing. “Who very rudely barged in unannounced, I might add.”

Dax carefully peeked open his eye, as if unsure if it was alright to look. “Excuse me sir, but the very last thing I expected to walk in on was—…“ Something like a grimace contorted Dax’s features.

“I do not need your approval, Dax. Besides, I thought you more open-minded than this.”

“So this is what I think it is. You have to be joking.” He finally looked, though now had a somewhat exasperated and heated posture. “Sure, maybe I don’t hate humans but to be involving yourself with—…“ his eye swiveled from the bed to the human, then back to Zex with a more bitter grimace. “What will the council think?”

“The council will not think anything if they don’t hear of it.”

"With all due respect sir, this– this had gone way too far. This is going to get you killed!”

“Mind. Your. Place. Dax.”

The sub commander’s posture recoiled slightly. His superior may have been reckless, blinded, mad and a hedonist, but he was also well respected and rightly earned it. Dax was as loyal as they came, even if the admiral absolutely exhausted him at times. This was easily in the top three of those.

“…I’m sorry, sir. I understand the council put you here to pursue your…‘lifestyle’–.”

“That’s what I’m doing, aren’t I?”

Dax laughed, uneasy. “Sure, but I highly doubt they expected it possible for you to ever actually–”

Zex sighed stubbornly and looked off, the sub commander’s words stinging a bit. It gave Dax pause to reword, but Zex spoke before he could.

“Please excuse me, captain. I’ll take care of this.”

The two of them left the room and shut the door behind them.

“Sir…even if they don’t find out which they obviously will, how do you expect to keep this up? If this gets back to our home planet they’ll make an example of you. They’ve been placated this long knowing you’re not influencing the public but as soon as it starts to get out of their hands it could cause an uprising. How long has this been going on?”

“If you must pry, I’ve spoken with them on recent occasions but this was the first time we–”

“Eugh. No. Stop. That’s enough.” He winced and interrupted. “So you’re telling me you don’t even know this human very well. You don’t know if they have an ulterior motive for all of this.”

“Actually, Dax, the human initially agreed with you. They were ready to leave for the sake of my safety and that would have been that. But I was who convinced them otherwise. They wouldn’t have initiated what they did or gone as far as they did if their intentions were to take advantage of me. If you were violently repulsed by the very appearance of an alien, don’t you think having sex with them would be a last resort? ”

“Sir, please—“Dax cringed, waving his arms to stop him but Zex continued.

“And if you must insist on doing this now—“ He huffed and straightened himself. “I’ve decided to join them. I’m leaving Alpha Cerenkov. The human plans to resist the Ur Quan.”

“Have you gone completely mad?! What about the fleet? I hope you realize the position you’re putting them in if they question them. If they question me. They’ll suspect us traitors. I didn’t swear an oath to your loyalty with the intention of breaking it. If I refuse to give them what they want…”

“If you and the rest of the fleet do not intend to join us, then perhaps the less you know the better.” The admiral turned back to the door, but Dax stopped him. There was a pause.

“I hope you’re sure about this…”

“There are few things I’ve been surer of.”

Dax sighed deeply.

“Just…wait. Don’t do anything reckless. I’ll talk with the fleet.”

[juminsmysticmc]

Saeyoung’s After Life Chapter 5

(LAST CHAPTER)

Go to Chapter: 1 here/ 2 here / 3 here / 4 here 

So, yesterday someone contacted me via Instagram and thought that the last two chapter got deleted since there was no link....I’m sorry I hope this won’t confuse anyone, let me explain: I write my writings in my Masterlist to show you what will come next and to make my life easier because just adding a link is quicker, HAHAH I’M SO LAZY XD and since we talk about being lazy....I was to lazy to correct this chapter, that’s why it took me so long, lmao XD but now I’m posting it...have fun my lovely Fonys :3 

Ps. If some of you memorized my Masterlist and got confused, yes, I planned to write a 6th chapter but realized that the last two chapters were really short so I put them together, heheh XD 

Saeyoung’s POV 

,,Please take care of them, guys...“ I mumbled and looked at Zen, Yoosung and Jaehee.  ,,Don’t worry....“ Jaehee mumbled. She was clearly worried. Well, I was too.  It was uncertain if I would be back alive after all.  ,,It’s kind of unfair that the trust fund kid is allowed to come along just because he‘s rich.“ Zen complained.  I looked at him ,,I would rather send you than risking my life there, trust me.“ I snapped.  Perhaps I was a bit too hard on him since he was helping me out... Hopefully I will have time to apologize to him after everything is finished....  My thoughts often wandered to my little family while we were driving in Jumin‘s van. 

,,Let’s talk about the plan....“ Saeran mumbled as he typed something into the laptop.  ,,We will first kidnap the man in black, his name is Lee Sang Chul.  He‘s the prime minister’s right hand and the one who followed us in the past. He was also the one who hurt Mc and the twins.... After we have him, we will interrogate him, that would be team A’s task.  Team B will hid cameras in the surroundings so that we have enough evidence.“ Saeran explained with a layout of the place.  Everyone nodded and agreed to it.  And so we followed the plan.  It was pretty easy to kidnap Mr. Lee Jumin simply began to talk to him and explained, who he was. The plan was to tell him that he was interested to work together with the Prime Minister. In the next moment however, Mr. Lee was dragged into the inside of the Van.  

,,Who are you?“ he snapped.  ,,You still don’t know?“ I asked and began to throttle him.  ,,Saeyoung, we need him alive.“ Jumin said as he observed us.  ,,Unfortunately.“ I snapped and tried to stay calm while the man, who almost killed my family, glared at me.  A bodyguard began to film the scene as Jumin calmly tried to get information out of him.  But the right hand of the Prime Minister stayed silent like a dead man.  ,,The Prime Minister will eventually go to prison, you won’t face danger if you tell us now.“ Jumin said.  ,,I....am loyal.“ he mumbled and looked away.  The man was depressed, I could see that it was pretty hard for him too.  ,,Why did you do that to my family?! Is that the way to show him that you’re loyal? Dirtying your hands with blood?! A pregnant woman? Twins?! Who the hell was loyal to us? We never did anything to this man! I don’t know and I don’t wish to know what my mother tried with that ass BUT WE ARE TRYING TO LIFE!“ I yelled. 

The man was still looking away, he actually looked pretty pitiful but I tried to ignore these feelings.  Before Jumin could say anything someone hit the van‘s door pretty hard.  ,,SAEYOUNG, JUMIN! WE NEED TO FLEE!“ Saeran screamed from behind, making me panic.  ,,Why?!“ I yelled as I opened the door.  ,,They found out! What will happen if they realize that Mc is alone without us?!“ Saeran snapped and tried to catch breath.  ,,Aish!“ I yelled and looked at the man.  And him?  But we couldn’t think about it.  Everything went quickly, five minutes of hell.

The prime Minister’s guards held guns up, ready to fire at us.  ,,NOW!“ Jumin yelled and all his bodyguards appeared from the hidden places, holding the Prime Minister’s guards.  ,,AT LEAST KILL THE DEMON!“ our ,,Father“ yelled and glared at me before he took his own gun.  I saw the bullet and regretted everything I did in my life. What if we would have stayed with our mother instead of going to Rika? Would I still have met Mc?  Would I still be a father?  What will have happen to my baby if I die now? To my two tomato princesses?  Who will snatch them away from me? Will Mc be able to forgive me for dying? Will she live without me?  I wasn’t sure.  All these thoughts hit me in five seconds.  Five seconds before my body fell backwards.  Blood was on my chest, my back was aching and my butt was scratched by now. 

,,SAEYOUNG!“ I heard Saeran yell. I turned to Saeran and saw how another bodyguard got a hold of the strong man we feared so far - the Prime Minister.  I looked at my chest, blood, I was soaked in blood.  Fortunately it wasn’t my blood.... ,,Why?“ I asked Mr Lee as he puked blood on me.  I stayed like that.  I was able to hear his words better like that.   ,,Because...I was sorry...I wanted to free myself from these regrets and wrong doings. I wanted the two of you to live happily...I really wanted to....“ he mumbled before he collapsed on me. 

Fear hit you in the middle of the night when someone tried to open the door, however mistaking the password four times.  You immediately jumped up, realizing that your reaction was too quickly.  You felt dizzy and were almost falling backwards but Zen was right behind you, supporting you like a strong rock.  ,,Princess, take it easy!“ he told you as he looked at you.  ,,Hid my children! Hid them! They are coming for us!“ you began to sob as the door opened.  It was over, wasn’t it?  ,,I MEAN, WHO THE HELL CHOOSES ARABIC AND FORGETS HOW TO SAY IT?!“ Saeran yelled as he supported his older twin brother.  ,,The word has a similar word, I just did wrong because I‘m not in my right mind.“ he laughed and looked at you.  The sight of Zen supporting you made him jealous but he was happy to see you.  ,,Are you well, Mc?“ he asked you as tears streamed down your face.  ,,Why are you soaked with blood?!“ you cried.  ,,Not his blood.“ Saeran snapped.  ,,Why are you supporting him then?“ you still asked.  ,,Because this idiot began to jump around and got hurt at his ankle.“ Saeran once again responded before he let go of Saeyoung.  Saeyoung approached you and hugged you.  You weren’t the only one who was crying now.  ,,J-Jumin?“ you sobbed.  ,,With the police...he will take care. Children?“  ,,A-asleep....“ you sobbed harder.  Your legs almost gave up but Saeyoung supported you for good.  This night the whole group decided to sleep at Saeyoung’s place, just to wake up two hours later.  None understood the fuss except for you and your husband of course. 

,,SHE‘S GIVING BIRTH GET THE CAR!“ Saeyoung yelled as he supported you.  ,,Saeyoung! Saeyoung it’s different! Something is wrong Saeyoung!“ you kept crying, clutching your belly.  ,,Mc try to breath, breath!“ Saeyoung comforted you and held your hand.  He tried to make you feel better but in his head he had completely different thoughts.  Was this what the doctor meant? Were unhappy things bound to happen?  In an instand Saeyoung and the other boys helped you to get into the car.  Jaehee went along with the two of you while Saeran had the task to drive a second car since the twins had to come along. Yoosung couldn’t drive and since Zen was in an accident once, Saeyoung trusted only his brother.  The girls didn’t know what was happening. All they knew was that their mom was sick once again.  ,,SHE‘S LOOSING TOO MUCH BLOOD!“ the nurse screamed as you lied down, completely pale in the white hospital room.  ,,SHE HAS NO STRENGTH LEFT!“ someone else yelled as the red haired father was pushed out of the room.  Saeyoung‘s heart was breaking apart when he turned around to take a last look into the room. He noticed that you were searching for him.  His wife longed for him.  This was the most horrible labor for everyone.  The medical support was at their limit, as well as the midwife and you.  But after a lot of complications and fears you finally gave birth.  And even through you still weren’t awake after one day and your new born boy was in the intubation, Saeyoung was happy because everyone was alive after all.  ,,How will you name him?“ Saeran asked when he visited his brother.  ,,Sang Chul. Choi Sang Chul.“ Saeyoung nodded. 

,,Yung Mi, Mun Hee, Sang Chul! Please stay here!“ you yelled as your 10 years old girls ran through the park together with their younger brother.  You were really afraid that your son could fall and hurt himself.  ,,Run behind them!“ you snapped at your husband.  ,,Huh?“ he asked you as he chewed his chips.  ,,You just don’t know how it works.“ Saeyoung laughed and begann to yell ,,OI! I HAVE HONEY BUDDAH CHIPS!“  You had to hide your smile as you saw how the children ran back to their dad to get the chips.  ,,Now, stay here, yeah?“ you slightly scolded them as you took your son up and in your ams and held Yung Mi’s hand.  ,,Mun Hee, take Unni‘s hand and Daddy‘s!“ she ordered and so like a family you walked through the park. 

THE END 

This story is dedicated to @khaizusan. She actually requested a story where the Prime Minister found out about the twins, since she draw a picture with Saeyoung and the twins (Chapter 1) and so I began to write about it. I didn’t imagine that this would take 5 Chapters but I‘m happy that you guys kept waiting for me. Thank you. 

Tagging: « @khaizusan @sailormoonrocks666 @foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @widya345 @r-f-a-journalists @loveto-hateyou @sleeplesspieces @shirokazekikagami »

[xmagicxshopx]

Moon Monsters - Chapter 5

Genre: Fantasy Adventure, Romance (smut later), Comedy Rating: PG-13 Warnings: none at this time Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Jimin x oc, Taehyung x oc Notes: werewolf!bts au. Not idol!bts. Same goes for GOT7. Single quote marks ‘ ‘ are for thoughts and double “ “ are for talking. Additional Notes: Not crazy about the beginning but eh. Didn’t proof read most of it. And now I wanna watch The Emperor’s New Groove. XD

Tagging: @och-ako @jiminnies-baby @kfictionstories @justbangtanandjams @lizardsocial @breadcaaat

Summary: You’re the CEO’s new personal assistant. But there’s something strange about him and the company you work for.

SERIES MASTERLIST

“You got me a Hyundai Palisade?!!?”

“Yah. Yah. Pipe it down. You wanna wake the whole neighborhood?”

You paid Yoongi no mind as you stared at the group in awe. They all stood there with almost identical smiles. Well Taehyung’s was a bit boxier but that was just his signature way of smiling. Seeing all of them standing there, these people, they were your coworkers but in this moment they felt more like family. Brothers, sisters, cousins. For the first time in quite a long time, you felt like you had a real family who loved you and cared about you.

“Guys......I.......I don’t know what to say. This.....Everything. It’s too much. I can’t accept----”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll make you swallow that key fob.”

“Wow. We definitely need to get hyung home. He gets cranky when it’s past his bedtime.”

“Guys, I don’t have the money to make the car payments for this thing. Surly you were only able to put a down payment on it.”

You were about to ramble on but it was Namjoon who walked up to you and started gently waving his hands in front of himself before speaking softly in a warm and reassuring tone,

“Listen, listen. We knew this would be overwhelming and we probably could have done this in steps, but you see........the thing about us........that’s just not how we roll when it comes to taking care of others. We go big or go home. And after everything you’ve been through today, we weren’t about to go home. Not till we set the record straight. Not till we make things right.”

“But----”

“No buts. The car is paid for. In full. No payments. All you have to worry about is the insurance which if I understand right, you were already paying on your previous car. All of these expenses have been paid for and all we ask for in return is that you’re happy and healthy.”

“Guys----”

“To add onto that, the title is currently in my name but Monday we can work on getting the title transferred over into your name.”

You were about to try again when you watched Jungkook walk up beside you and traded you the keys for Swiper. You stared down at the orange kitten as he mewed up at you; staring with his large round eyes. It turned you soft. So soft that you could have melted. Sniffling and feeling tears lightly trickling down your face, you looked back up at everyone with Namjoon having since stepped back into his spot in the small crowd.

“We’re here for you, beautiful. I told you it’d get better soon.”

You stared up at Jungkook and sniffled with an apologetic smile. The feeling of his large warm hand rubbing your back was definitely soothing to you as you tried to find your words.

“Sorry. I just-----This was so selfless of you guys. Spending your hard earned money on me like this. Me. Why? Some of you don’t even know me very well.”

“Sometimes you don’t have to know the person to be able to help those less fortunate.”

It was quiet for a few minutes before Yoongi decided to break the ice in his own unique way.

“Well you’re welcome. It’s late. So let’s all turn in.”

“Come on, grandpa. Let’s get you home.”

While Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jaebum, and Yugyeom all escorted the grumpy male to their cars, the youngest two stayed behind with their mates. Jimin had Mama Bird’s hand in his while Taehyung had his arm slung over Widow’s shoulders. Jungkook stood there beside you with his one hand still on your back but content with rubbing his index finger of his other hand back and forth across the top of the kitten’s head; Swiper loving the display of affection.

“Guys......all of you.......Thank you so much. I can’t possibly repay you for everything you’ve done today. Gosh.....I’m just really overwhelmed. I’ll be able to formulate better sentences when this all settles in.”

“Well you did drink quite a few cocktails tonight. That’s probably not helping you.”

You laughed at Mama Bird and felt your face warming up. She had a point. The alcohol in your system probably wasn’t helping you. Smiling from the group to down at Swiper, you leaned down and kissed the top of his tiny head once Jungkook had removed his finger. And that was when you had released a rather long and very open mouthed yawn.

“Oh my. Looks like someone’s sleepy. With all that supposed alcohol, you’ll be sleeping like a baby tonight.”

Jungkook stared at you lovingly but of course you didn’t notice because you were too busy cooing over the orange kitten. However, that didn’t stop him from correcting his hyung.

“Nah. She’ll be sleeping like a princess tonight.”

“Well then let’s not keep the princess up. Shall we go, my love?”

Widow smiled just as lovingly up at her mate as she nodded and glanced over at Mama Bird and Jimin. They too nodded in silent agreement. Turning towards you and Jungkook, the small female said happily,

“Widow and I had a great time today with you, Miss Korea. We definitely need to do that again soon. Oh! That reminds me! Everything is in our cars.”

And as if they had done this like a dance routine, you watched both girls turn to their boyfriends and bat their eyelashes dramatically with almost identical pouts. It was Taehyung who spoke up first.

“For the love of all things Gucci. Put that pout away. All you have to do is ask. My heart can’t take it.”

As the group chuckled, you followed them to the girls’ cars where your purchases were. Making sure you weren’t going to run into anything or anyone, you quickly stole a glance down at the kitten in your arms. Swiper had since started to try and climb up your body as if wanting to perch himself on your shoulder but the protective side of you wanted him safely in your arms instead.

Upon arrival, Black Widow unlocked her car and opened one of the back seats. For some reason, your cheeks started to warm up. Was it because they’d see the shopping bag that clearly stated you had went and bought lingerie? Or was it perhaps the lack of shopping bags you had compared to the trunk full the other two girls had?

“Ooouuu. Kook you gotta see what’s in this bag I-----Ouch!”

You were blushing like crazy as you watched Black Widow come to your rescue by smacking her mate on the back while he was hunched over and inside the back seat; apparently looking through your bags. Oh how you wanted to sneak a glance at Jungkook but you resisted. Mostly because you weren’t sure you could handle what you might find. Was he blushing too? Or did he find it funny? Gah.

With Jimin having opened the other back door, he too was also helping carrying the bags. However, your embarrassment only intensified when you watched the two coming out from within the back seats and easily carrying what purchases you had made; not even needing the third boy’s assistance. If anyone was going to make a comment, you were grateful that they seemed to be keeping it to themselves. It was Jimin who broke the silence by saying happily and casually,

“Let’s head back to her royal majesty’s new bed chamber, shall we?”

While Jungkook never spoke up, it was painfully obvious that he was going to have to take you on an additional shopping trip. There was no way you had enough in these bags to sustain a proper wardrobe. He knew you’d go kicking and screaming, but that was definitely one of the things on tomorrow’s agenda. Thank goodness tomorrow was Sunday. At least they’d have all day, for he also wanted to go grocery shopping so that you’d have all your favorites in the apartment.

The apartment.....their apartment. Just thinking about it made him giddy with joy. His mate was finally where she belonged. Home with him. Where he could protect you and care for you. Love you. Even though you currently weren’t returning his feelings, he could tell you were feeling the tug. That powerful force of nature from the Moon Goddess herself. That little incident in Namjoon’s office hadn’t went by unnoticed. He knew you were already starting to feel the effects even though you weren’t even turned yet.

Which meant he could only hope that one day you’d fall in love with him just as much as he had fallen in love with you. Hopefully living under the same roof would make that even more probable. He felt like the odds were in his favor despite how uncomfortable you still seemed with living in the same quarters as him.

With all the bags carefully placed in the little foyer section of the apartment, it was time to say goodbyes and see you laters. You had handed Swiper over to Jungkook so you could give each girl a proper hug and a proper thanks for everything they had done. It almost brought tears to your eyes as you felt them returning your hugs with genuine love and care. You had never had female friends so this was a big moment for you.

“You be good to our girl, okay Kook?”

“Yes, m’am. Of course, m’am.”

You were a timid, blushing mess as you watched Jungkook reply to Mama Bird’s words with a cheesy salute while Swiper was held protectively in the male’s other arm. Good lord. You wanted nothing more than to run to your room and hide; never to come out again. Boy was it hot in here all of a sudden. Resisting the urge to fan your heated face, you said with a whine,

“Yah yah. It’s late. You guys should be heading home. It’s always more dangerous to drive in the dark, anyway. Shoo. Shoo shoo.”

With the small group of four giggling and cooing over how cute you were, you closed the door and locked it before turning around to lean your back against the structure. Now openly fanning your face, you watched Jungkook chuckle while holding Swiper with both arms now. He knew you were embarrassed and flustered so he decided to take pity on you and left things at that. Instead, he asked casually,

“Want me to show you to the bathroom so you can freshen up before bed?”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

And so after plucking the bag that had your nightwear in it, you followed the young male down the hall and watched him point to a door closer to the end. After giving a soft thanks, you shyly ducked into the bathroom to get ready for bed. After hearing his footsteps fading, you took a deep breath and exhaled to help calm yourself down. Gathering yourself up, you moved to stand in front of the huge lit up mirror.

Wow. Those cocktails really roughed you up.

To say you looked exhausted would be an understatement. The woman staring back at you definitely looked worn out. With another deep breath to help calm you, you reached for the faucet and turned the cold water on. Giving your face a good couple splashes, you cursed when you realized that.......you had absolutely nothing on you that could help with your nightly skin routine. Softly cursing for not thinking about purchasing that stuff while you were out today, you decided to move onto brushing your teeth........which you also couldn’t do.

Tears were starting to well in your eyes. You were stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. You weren’t even thinking of stuff like toiletries when you were out shopping today. All you could think about was having fun with the girls. Your new friends. You had been so wrapped up in having friends for the first time in your life that you weren’t thinking like an adult. An adult who had just lost everything.

Sniffling and trying not to bawl your eyes out, you slipped out of the clothes that Mama Bird had given you and changed into your conservative babydoll nightie. It was dark navy blue and went about mid thigh. You were too upset to even think about approaching Jungkook in it. Jungkook......god you were going to have to tell him......But how? How could you? God this was so embarrassing. You felt so pathetic. You didn’t even have a brush for your hair or hell----You didn’t even have shampoo or body wash for that matter. You had nothing.

You had nothing.

Jungkook had just set Swiper down in his cat bed when he immediately became alert. His mate was upset. Extremely upset. Why? He needed to find out and fast. Quickly rising to his feet, he was met with a tear stained face. Your face. It broke his heart. So much so, that he couldn’t even enjoy the nightie you were wearing. He watched as you sniffled and approached him; promptly stuffing your face into his chest. Your smaller hands gripping the back of his shirt.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“I’m stupid. So stupid.”

“Yah. No you’re not. Come here. Let’s take a seat.”

With his help, the two of you took a seat on his fancy off white couch and you tried to collect yourself. Gah you were working his self restraint already. You weren’t wearing a bra under that nightie and it showed. Good gravy. Trying not to audibly gulp, he put his focus back on you and taking care of you. In a soft and soothing tone, he asked while stroking the back of your head in a petting fashion,

“Why do you think you’re stupid?”

“Because I didn’t buy anything important today. All I bought was a bunch of clothes and shoes.”

“That doesn’t make you stupid, beautiful.”

“Yes it does! I have no toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, shampoo, body wash. I don’t have anything for my daily skin routine. I have no makeup. Kook I have none of that stuff. Because it went up in flames like the rest of my stuff. I have nothing. It’s all gone.”

By this point, you were crying your eyes out and Jungkook had you wrapped up in his arms. Truth be told, he wasn’t thinking about those things either. Hell, he was sitting here thinking about how you needed more clothes than what you bought. But he definitely hadn’t been thinking about the hygienic stuff. Welp, it was definitely going to be another busy day tomorrow. Rubbing your back, he spoke softly,

“Well how about this.....tomorrow we’ll head back out. Just you and me. We’ll make a day out of it. We can have three nice meals out while we shop and get the things you need. And we can take your nice new car so we’ll have plenty of space for the shopping bags. We can even buy Swiper a couple cute cat toys. How does that sound?”

With a hiccup, you replied almost grumpily, “You’re too nice for your own good, Kookie. You know that?”

Flashing you that bright bunny smile that never failed to make your heart flutter and your cheeks turn pink, he chuckled and said in a tone that sounded an awful lot like he was teasing you,

“I knew you’d like the idea. So for tonight and in the morning, you can use my stuff. It’s not a big deal. I do believe I have an extra toothbrush unopened for when I’m an idiot and forget to charge my electric one.”

You flushed even more pink when you heard him mention that so casually. Gosh. Electric toothbrushes were expensive. The only thing you could gather was that he must make an awful lot more than you. Or maybe he’s obtained some kind of inheritance? Wherever he was getting the money, you had no idea. But there must be a lot of it.

Upon hearing a soft but high pitched sound, you both looked over to see that it was just the orange kitten stretching in his cat bed that was two times too big for him. Jimin had explained that the little guy would grow bigger before anyone could blink so it just made sense to buy the big bed now verses waiting. After a good stretch, the kitten went back to sleep; looking absolutely precious in your eyes. It was then that you felt a large warm hand rubbing your upper arm as Kook spoke up softly,

“I think Swiper has the right idea. Let’s get some rest for our big day tomorrow, yeah?”

“Okay. But what about all the bags at the door?”

“Eh. They can stay there. They aren’t going to go anywhere.”

“May I have a glass of water to take with me before I go to bed?”

“Beautiful, you can have anything you want, okay? You don’t even have to ask.”

You looked up to see him smiling down at you with that charming smile of his. He looked gorgeous while you looked like a train wreck. Sniffling, you nodded and he took that as the cue to help you up from the couch. His hand had slipped from your upper arm to where he could protectively wrap his arm around your waist to help keep you steady.

After pouring you a glass of water from his purifying pitcher, he handed it to you and even took it upon himself to escort you to your bedroom. Your new bedroom. Thankfully when you walked in, it no longer smelled like lingering paint fumes. Carefully setting the glass on the nightstand, you turned around to see Jungkook leaning against the door frame.

“I hope you’ll like it here, princess.”

Princess. That was new and different. You weren’t sure which made your heart flutter more. Beautiful or Princess. Smiling shyly from behind the canopy that surrounded your bed, you felt a blush coming on as you spoke in a small, shy voice,

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that, Kookie.”

Hearing those words made him smile with relief. So you were going to like it here? Perhaps that meant you’d stay. He couldn’t help but be hopeful of that. Oh how he wanted to gather you up and lay you in his own bed. Where he could protect you and keep you happy and healthy. But for now, he’d give you your space. He could be a patient man when he wanted to be.

“Well, then I guess this is good night. Sleep well, princess. If you need me, I’m just down the hall.”

“Thanks, Kookie. Good night.”

And with that, the two of you parted ways with him closing your door for you. Taking a couple slow sips of your water, you sighed gratefully at how cold it was. All that blushing had really warmed you up despite your thin nightie. Yeah. You probably should have worn something even more conservative but you could never sleep if you were on the warmer side during the nights.

When you went to lay down, a moan just about filled the room and then some. Wow. This mattress was freaking amazing! You had no idea who picked this particular one but if you ever found out, you were going to kiss their feet. Getting comfy, you tugged the covers up to your nose as you were one who liked to bury yourself in comfort. After everything you had been through within the last 24 hours, you definitely wanted to drown in comfort. The sheets smelled so good. Wow. They must have been washed before hand. You wonder if this was Jungkook’s fabric softener you were smelling. Had to be.

Speaking of.........

Feeling his mate’s heart rate slowing down and sensing you were on your way to dreamland, Jungkook was finally able to relax in his own bed. There was no way he was going to risk sleeping until he knew you were comfortable and resting properly. Since walking into his own room, he had changed out of his clothes for that day and was now lounging in a t-shirt and shorts. Normally he’d ditch the shirt but just in case you needed him, he wanted to be.....dunno.....decent?

“Okay, so what else will she need? Help me out here.”

‘Well......wait why are you asking a dog what a human female needs???’

“Good point.”

‘What’s on your list so far?’

Scrolling back to the top of his cell phone screen, he started listing off all the items he thought you’d need. The items you had listed earlier, more clothing, more shoes, groceries. He suddenly thought about things like medicine. Were you on any kind of medication? Oh! And were you a pads kind of girl or tampons? Just from his own heat cycle, he knew you’d be starting your period in a couple weeks. Wow. Women needed a lot of stuff.

‘Females are gorgeous, precious, but complex creatures, little one. You’ll learn that more and more as you spend time with her. Tis why we as the male need to care for our mates. They work hard and carry our offspring. The least we can do is care for them like the beautiful gems that they are.’

Jungkook could feel his chest swelling with masculine pride. Yes. He was going to take care of his mate. He was going to nurture her and care for her. Tomorrow would be a good day. He was going to treat you like the goddess you were. However, he could only hope that you’d allow him to treat you to nice things. It felt like a battle and a half just to convince you to take his credit card. Yeah.....you’ll probably put up a struggle tomorrow but he could handle it. Hopefully.

After adding a few more items per his inner wolf’s suggestions, the male finally decided it was time for him to sleep. It was hard though. His mind was just racing with everything that had happened today. Not to mention it was hard for him to sleep knowing you were just down the hall. Probably looking absolutely angelic all curled up in your new bed sleeping peacefully.

Or so he had thought.

After setting his phone on charge on his nightstand, he had just turned on his side and gotten comfortable when he felt.....something was off. Surly he would have noticed it sooner, right? No. Something wasn’t right. He could sense your discomfort. Fear. He smelled fear rolling up from under his door. It was you. You were scared. Maybe sleeping in a foreign home was making you nervous?

And then he heard your screams. Your blood curdling, hair raising screams and he was out of bed in a flash. Faster than the blink of an eye. Most of the time he was a clumsy bun, but in this moment, he was a graceful and swift canine ready to attack whatever was causing his mate pain. Barreling down the hallway, he wasted no time in opening the door to your room. The sight broke his heart.

There you were sat up in your bed patting yourself frantically. The sound of your hand practically slapping your skin sounding louder than it really was. You were crying and whimpering as you continued to pat yourself down for whatever reason. The only thing he could guess was that you must still be somewhat asleep and still in your nightmare. Carefully approaching you, Jungkook spoke softly,

“Hey....beautiful? You there? Hey. It’s me, Jungkookie. Are you awake?”

You must have been more awake than he originally thought because as soon as he started to speak, your head shot up and your eyes full of fear focused on his form slowly approaching you. It would seem that you were coming back to reality though as you suddenly started looking around the room. It was then that you slumped forward with your face in your hands; shoulders shaking from what.....he wasn’t sure of.

“Do you want to talk about it? Is there anything I can get you?”

You sat there hunched over with the nightmare still playing in your mind’s eyes. Dear god it had been awful. So much so, that there was no way you were going to risk falling back asleep. As you sat there remaining silent, Jungkook could feel the anxiety rolling off of you in thick waves. He felt helpless in this moment and it killed him. Surely there was something he could do?

“I’m sorry. I probably woke you. I’ll be fine. Sorry to bother you.”

“Hey hey hey. Let’s hold up a minute.”

While his voice was soft and almost like a whisper, he still felt the need to sit you down and get something straight. Sitting down on your bed in front of you, he turned and gently removed your shaking hands from your tear stained face. Gosh he was so tired of seeing you cry. But he also couldn’t blame you either. It just really broke his heart, though.

“You are not a bother. And you’re definitely not fine. You don’t have to talk about it, but you also don’t have to pretend like it was nothing either. What do you say we fix some warm drinks and watch a movie, hmm?”

“I......I was on fire, Kookie.......”

At first he didn’t quite know what you meant. But then it clicked with him. The way you were patting yourself all over earlier......you were patting yourself because you were trying to put out the fire. His heart clenched painfully in his chest and tears were threatening to well up in his eyes. You had a nightmare, alright.

You had a nightmare that you were burning alive.

“Okay. Ice cream it is.”

After helping you to your feet, it seemed like no time at all that the two of you were on the couch watching a Disney movie. After insisting that you pick, it was decided that you’d watch The Emperor’s New Groove as it was one of your favorites and it never failed to make you laugh. As soon as he heard that little tidbit, Jungkook was sold and immediately purchased it to rent.

Your giggles. Dear god your giggles were like music to his ears. Watching you take a spoon full of ice cream only to giggle around the spoon made his heart soar to the ceiling. You were adorable in every way. Precious. Absolutely precious. He had to fight the urges to kiss the top of your head or run his fingers through your hair. But thank the Moon Goddess you were subconsciously cuddling him. He at least got that much.

They were at the scene where Yzma was asking Kronk her famous line of “Why do we even have that lever?” when your giggles tried to turn into a yawn. There it was. The moment he had been waiting for. It would seem you paid it no mind as you went back to watching the movie, having since had your fill of ice cream. Your head was resting on his chest and he was pretty sure you had no idea what you were doing at this point. But he wasn’t about to stop you. No way.

Jungkook was pretty proud of himself. Since that first yawn, he had ever so carefully inched himself lower and lower till the two of you were practically laying down on the couch with you on top of him; using him as a literal body pillow. Not that he minded. Good lord he was in heaven right now. This definitely had to be what heaven felt like.

Needless to say, neither one of you saw the ending of the movie.

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Shklance Series 7 -- Talk

Okay um. I’m still working on links, guys haha, so hopefully these work. But here is part 7, (my longest part, and fic, yet) and so in order we have: Staring, Tears, Persist, Kisses, Cornered, Try, and Talk. I hope you guys like it, and please bear with me as I keep trying out links, and writing styles, and tags XD  

In other news, I’m also working to plan my wedding later this summer, I’m attending college (only about another year to go yay!), dealing with family issues, and working two jobs. So thanks for all the kind words this week, for the notes and for even just reading these. It’s been a fun stress reliever the last few weeks, and I appreciate everyone’s kindness and understanding. :)

------------------------------

Well. He was alive. So, that was a relief. Still, it was unnerving to see their usually bright, vibrant, and bubbly boy so downcast. He very much resembled a tiny kitten that had been kicked and beaten, and then left out in the rain to be miserable alone. At least, Keith thought desperately, he let us see him.

Right after they arrived back to their complex, the two of them went straight to Lance’s room, bypassing their own. Lance hadn’t answered the door, but his neighbor had noticed them outside and told them that Lance had only come out for classes and once for a shift at the coffee shop where he worked. At this, Keith and Shiro exchanged a worried look and pulled out a spare key Lance had given them for emergencies.

Inside, they were struck by the lack of noise, the absence of activity, the stillness that had settled over the apartment. Lance was buried in bed, hardly visible through the blankets piled on top of him, but he didn’t seem to complain at all when Keith dug him out while Shiro set to making them something to eat. However, he was quick to return when he heard Keith cry out. He was slowly easing Lance back down to his bed, Lance releasing little groans and whimpers as Keith settled him again.

“What is it, Keith? What’s wrong?”

Keith didn’t respond, except to gently peel Lance’s shirt up with shaky fingers, exposing mottled bruises along his side and chest. Keith must’ve bumped them when he was trying to help Lance sit up. Shiro barely noticed when he moved to examine the rest of Lance. They worked together to get Lance out of his sweatpants and T-shirt without jostling him more than necessary. Lance kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut, saying nothing, but also not doing anything to stop them.

              While cataloguing Lance’s injuries, Shiro had to stop several times to take some time to calm down. With the way Lance was currently, he wasn’t sure how well that would go over. Anger from either of them might just make the situation worse. Still, it was hard to remain calm when he saw the cuts on Lance’s face, above his eye and on his lower lip. Lance’s upper arms were badly bruised, as was his right side and all across his chest. More cuts were visible across his chest, too, and it looked like Lance’s left leg was swollen and tender. When Shiro brushed his fingers against the skin there, Lance had let out a miserable little mewl and tried to pull his leg up and away, only to stop when it jarred his ribs too much. Tears began to spill down his face.

“Shiro,” Keith could feel more tears welling up in his own eyes, “what happened?”

Shiro could only shake his head. Until they got Lance to open up to them, they had no way of knowing. Keith wiped his eyes, turning back to Lance. “C’mon, kitten, we’re gonna go cuddle, mkay?” There was still no response, but Keith just bit his lip and scooped Lance up as gently as he possibly could. Lance mewled a small protest, but once he was safe in Keith’s arms, he nuzzled up to Keith’s chest, seeking comfort through the pain and misery.

Shiro moved with them to the couch, starting up a quiet conversation with Keith as he did. They talked about how Shiro’s finals had gone, how Keith’s trip and performances, and every once in a while they attempted to draw Lance in with comments like “Is that one girl still being a bitch to the rest of you?” and “I wonder how Lance’s project for Iverson’s class went” but Lance did nothing more than sometimes burrow closer to Keith’s side, or bury his face in the crook of Keith’s neck. And Keith didn’t mind, but it was worrying both of them.

It wasn’t until a couple hours later, when Lance had appeared to relax in Keith’s arms completely that Shiro decided to focus again on feeding his boys. He stood up. “Keith, does soup sound okay to you?”

Keith twisted on the couch as best he could with Lance still cradled in his arms. “Shiro, your recipe for that is a four hour project.” Shiro ignored him, rummaging through Lance’s cabinets. “What do you think, kitten? Soup sound good to you?”

“Shiro.”

Shiro pulled out the pot and set to work dicing vegetables.

“Shiro. Please, could you just relax?”

“Keith. I have to do this for him. I need to work on something, okay? So just. Sit there with him, okay? Be there for him, because that’s what you need. But, I,” Shiro sighed. “I need to make something so we can feed him. All right?”

Keith sighed, but didn’t push the issue. Lance was snuffling softly in his sleep, weakly pawing at Keith’s arm. With a rush of fondness, he began threading his fingers through Lance’s hair. It was slightly greasier than normal, but Keith didn’t care. He was just glad that he was able to finally be here with him.

“Here, baby.” Keith blinked his eyes open, pleased to see that Lance was still in his lap, though he was sitting up and accepting the bowl that Shiro passed to him. If he realized it was more broth than anything else, he didn’t comment on it. After eyeing Lance to make sure he planned to actually sip at the broth, Shiro passed Keith his own bowl and then sat next to them. Lance had finished most of his soup before he actually tried to move from Keith’s lap. Keith resisted until he realized what his real goal was.

“Here, Shiro. He wants you.” He smirked when he saw Shiro’s face light up. Despite what he had said earlier, all he really wanted was to cuddle Lance. He just knew that Keith was just as desperate and was willing to take a step back to let Keith have the time he needed to reassure himself of Lance’s wellbeing. Well, screw that. It was his turn now.

Keith moved to take care of their bowls and the mess in the kitchen, leaving Shiro and Lance huddled on the couch together. Shiro ignored the noise in the kitchen, gazing at the beautiful boy curled up on his lap. He pressed his palm on Lance’s cheek, and Lance hummed quietly as he leaned into the touch. Shiro’s fingers settled on his jaw, thumb under his chin, tilting Lance’s face up. The cuts still sent a wave of anger through Shiro, though it was tempered by the love and gratitude he saw shining in Lance’s eyes.

“Hey, baby,” he murmured quietly. “How’re you holding up, huh?” Lance blinked at him, slow and lethargic. “Not up to talking, hm? That’s all right, kitten. But hey. I’m sorry, Blue. I’m so sorry.”

Lance mewled, tried to tug his face from Shiro. But Shiro wouldn’t let him. “Hey, hey, hey,” he soothed, “none of that, mkay? I just wanted to say it. And I’ll say it again later, when you’re ready to talk. But we’ll take care of you, all right?” Shiro was surprised at the soft tone of his voice. It wasn’t ever something he’d really had to use before, but he was glad he was able to be here for Lance like this.

“I’ve gotcha, kitten.” Keith came up behind Shiro, drawing a hand across Shiro’s shoulders as he rounded the couch to sit with them again. “We’ve got you,” Shiro corrected with a wry smile at Keith. “We’re here, baby. Shhh.” Shiro kept up these quiet platitudes as Keith queued up one of Lance’s favorite TV shows for when he was in a quieter mood, for those days that were a little harder than usual.

 Lance had initially been confused when he saw it was Keith and Shiro who had entered his apartment, but he also was too hurt and upset to waste energy caring or wondering at it. He just quietly let them do what they wanted, which oddly enough had been taking care of him, which was a little weird. But he didn’t say anything when they reapplied medicine and bandages to his various cuts – even though that had stung like a bitch and the only thing that made Lance feel better was Keith’s hand in his hair, lightly scratching and tugging at his scalp.

Even when they moved and got him settled on the couch and applied an ice pack to his throbbing ankle, Lance couldn’t bring himself to do much more other than react to the pain that spiked through his aching body when he was moved too quickly. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but let himself relax into the comfort Keith was offering him, and after Shiro made him his amazing soup, Lance felt like maybe it would be okay to go to Shiro.

When Keith resisted the move, Lance felt simultaneously like giving up because duh why the heck would Shiro want Lance anywhere near him, and like breaking down into tears because he had missed both of them damn it and he needed to know that he and Shiro were okay, and he needed to let Shiro know that Lance didn’t hold a grudge.

Luckily, Keith figured it out pretty quick and even helped Lance crawl over to Shiro. When Keith came back, Lance was pleased to see him carefully lift Lance’s feet and slide underneath them, gently rubbing and scratching at his non-injured ankle. Compounded with one of his favorite “Self-care” shows, Lance could feel himself coming back out of that shell he had stuffed himself in since he had upset Keith and Shiro. He could feel himself melting at the soft touches and quiet attention and affection being poured on him right then. Maybe it would be okay to tell them…

It took hours, but Lance finally felt that it would be okay. They wouldn’t hate him. They couldn’t, if they hated him, it wouldn’t make sense for them to even still be here.

“It was Sendak.” Shiro and Keith startled. It had been hours since they had both settled on the couch, their seventh or possibly eighth episode of Great British Bake Off, and they had pretty much accepted that Lance wasn’t going to share any time soon.

“Said that he was sick of losing to you, Shiro. I think he hated that you made the team but he didn’t.” Lance refused to look at them. His voice was so hoarse, it sounded painful. Shiro and Keith could feel their hearts break as they realized this was probably the first time he’d really talked in a while. That was never allowed, never again.

“Personally,” Lance swallowed hard eyes screwing shut again, bracing himself for whatever he thought was coming next. “Personally, I think Lotor did it. Sendak’s crew hit me, but. But, Plax said that Lotor was upset too.” Now, he looked up, those beautiful blue eyes of his apologetic, and that made Keith mad. He had nothing to be sorry for. “Keith got top grades in all their classes. Again.” Lance coughed, and Keith stood abruptly. He turned when Lance let out an alarmed noise. Immediately, he knelt next to Lance.

“Shhhh, kitten, I’m gonna get you some water. I’m not mad at you, promise, baby. Shhhh.”

They didn’t talk about it much after that. Every time Lance tried to bring it up, Keith and Shiro insisted that it was better they wait till morning. Instead, they encouraged Lance to try and sleep, which only happened after several promises that they wouldn’t go anywhere. And true to their word, they both stayed in Lance’s apartment, the three of them comfortably cuddled up on their couch. Or, at least, Lance was comfortable, and that’s all they really cared about. That’s all that mattered.

 What. The. Hell. Lance couldn’t figure it out. For the life of him, he had no idea why Keith and Shiro were doing this to him. What had happened to the two idiots who insisted on handling problems before Lance was ready? And now, Lance wanted to get the conversation out of the way, handle everything that had happened, like an adult, and they weren’t letting him. Even the next morning, after they all woke up cramped (Shiro and Keith) and sore (Lance), they wouldn’t touch on the subject. Every time Lance tried, they shushed him. Shushed him! They insisted he wait until after breakfast, or some bullcrap like that.

Yeah. That was bullcrap. Screw it.

“Okay, guys. I’m fed, I’m watered, I got sleep, we have more French toast sitting literally right in front of me, can we please just address the issue here? You two are stressing me out.”

Keith immediately sat his ass back in his seat, unwilling to let Lance stress anymore than he already had these last few days. Lance had to hold back a chuckle, but panic was still fluttering in his stomach.

“I think we need to report—”

“Shiro, wait,” Lance interrupted abruptly. “That’s not, no, that’s not the problem. It’s been reported. Hunk heard about it from Plax, and he and Pidge dragged me out long enough to report it the day after it happened. That’s not what we need to talk about, right?”

Keith shook his head, “No, you’re right. We had some communication errors. Lance, you did everything right. You tried to tell both of us, and we didn’t pay as much attention to you as we should’ve. We’re sorry.”

Now Lance was shaking his head, unwilling to let Keith and Shiro take all the blame for what had happened. “No, I am, if I wasn’t bothering you two every few hours—”

“No, nope, we’re not going there again, sweetheart.” Shiro’s voice was warm, affectionate, firm. Lance risked a look up, forcing himself to meet Shiro’s eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to talk to us daily. It doesn’t bother me at all. Keith, does it bother you?”

“Nope. I might act like it does, but… I really like it, Lance. It makes me feel loved and looked after.” And because Lance was nice, he politely didn’t mention the way Keith’s face was now turning pink.

“But then, why…” Lance took a deep breath. “Okay. So… I don’t bother you?” The insecure look in his eyes stabbed Shiro straight through the heart, and he heard Keith’s breath catch.

“Never.”

“Impossible.”

“Okay.” Lance sat quietly for a minute, and Keith and Shiro let him have his minute, giving him space. “Okay,” he finally repeated. “So… it wasn’t me. It was the timing, right?” God, their little kitten had come so far in this relationship. Keith nodded so hard he looked like a stupid bobblehead. “What could we have done differently?”

Did Lance even realize how huge that was? He just kept sitting there, looking solemnly at Shiro at Keith. Shiro could tell that Keith was ready to burst, pride shining in his eyes. His leg was bouncing, body working to contain his joy with his boyfriend. But Lance deserved an answer right now. They could save the rest for another day.

“I know I need to be more open with you, Lance. I’m sorry I didn’t even tell you about all the work I had so you weren’t too prepared for what you walked into. Then I would’ve at least known if you were trying to talk to me, it was about something serious. And I think it would help us to avoid other possible issues we might’ve had if this hadn’t happened first.”

“I think,” Keith added slowly, “you just happened to catch me at a bad moment. It was bad luck. Maybe if we had agreed on a set time to call, I could’ve worked harder to calm myself down before then so I didn’t end up taking it out on you like I did.”

Lance nodded slowly, eyes focused, lip tugged that adorable way he did when we was thinking hard. “Maybe even some kind of, I don’t know, maybe this is dumb, but maybe we could just, um. Maybe we could use a, uh…” Keith reached across the table, taking Lance’s hand in his own. He squeezed tightly and Lance took another fortifying breath. “A codeword? Maybe it’s dumb, but it might help. It’s just. I know we’re all busy and we all have our own problems, but if we ever really, really need the other two to listen and pay attention, maybe we could have a word to express that.”

Shiro could feel a grin threatening to break out. He reached across, too, grasped Lance’s other hand. “Baby, I think that’s a great idea.”

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

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21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

.

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

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24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

.

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

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30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

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1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

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5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

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8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

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10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

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11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

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13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

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14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

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18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

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20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

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23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

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27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

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28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

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6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

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13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

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17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

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18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

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20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

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21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

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26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

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27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

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5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

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15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

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16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

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24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

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3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

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12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

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14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

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19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

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08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

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16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

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19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

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9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

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13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

[crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer]

For the really long number ask: questions by 10. :D

Oh boy, so many questions! Thank you, Speedy~ XD <3

There is a lot oftext (mostly rambling) below the cut. I would have had this posted sooner, but I’ve beenpreoccupied lately. ^^’

Feelfree to send me more questions~

~.~

10:The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

Hmm, probably “awesome” or “amazing” getoverused by me a lot. XD

20:Favourite video games?

FFFFFFFFFFF THERE ARE SO MANY!!!!!

Of course, you know me and how much I love HatofulBoyfriend. Those games will forever have a tight grip on my heart. >v<But also the Persona games I’ve played. *sobs* There are so many versions ofPersona 3 and Persona 4 by now, including their crossover sequels and whatnot.I love them so much. And Persona 5 is currently breaking my heart, but it’s sogood~ Also, we’re finally getting P3 and P5 dancing games to accompany P4:Dancing All Night, and I am so ready for that! <3

I’ve only played through Hakuouki: Demon of the FleetingBlossom so far, but I really want to play some of the other games at somepoint. I keep seeing stuff about them and I need it because the story andcharacters are so good. XD

Dream Daddy is also shaping up to be a pretty good game,from what I’ve played of it, so I can toss it on the list here as well~ ;P

There are way more games I could mention, but these ones areespecially important to me right now, so I’ll just leave it at that for themoment. =P

30:Eye colour?

My eyes are hazel. It depends on the light, but sometimesthey look more green and other times they look more brown.

40:What do I think about most?

I don’t actually know what I think about most. o-o

I try not to be this self-aware because paying too closeattention to my thoughts tends to stress me out. But, I mean, I do very oftenhave moments where I stop and go “oh my god, I love my girlfriend so much,she’s so cute, how is this possible” because I’m a sentimental dork and mybrain won’t stop reminding me. Also just as often over the last year, I’ve hada lot of thoughts about how I miss my dog and my cat, too. But I’m one of thosepeople who stops and notices/remembers really cute things and then has anemotional moment about how cute they are, so I tend to think about how cute myfriends are or how cute an animal is or… similar cute stuff. Because I’m anemotional sap.

Also, I’ve pretty much always got magical boys or birds onthe brain, but literally no one is surprised to hear that. XD

50:How do I destress?

I either play a game I like or listen to music (unless whatI need at the time is to shut out the world and all the noise that comes withit); try to read something or work on my writing; watch a show or movie thatmakes me happy as a distraction; or sometimes scroll Tumblr or just the tagsfor a thing I like a lot, mindlessly Liking/reblogging things.

You can tell I do that last one a lot from my various wallsof spam on everyone’s dashboards. ^^’

60:Pet peeve?

I have a lot of little pet peeves, but the one that comes upa lot is grammar. More specifically when people write “defiantly”when they mean to say “definitely” or when they incorrectly abbreviateet cetera as “ect” instead of “etc” aaaaaaaaaaaaah whydo people do this?

I mean, I understand that auto-correct is a thing and willmake you regret every typo you ever make, and I understand that mixing upletters and confusing words is common for a lot of people. So, I don’t get tooupset when I see it, but. How on earth did“defiantly”/“definitely” become a thing? Like… why? Idon’t understand. It drives me nuts just thinking about it.

But the “etc”/“ect” thing will alwaysbother me because it may have started as a genuine typo somewhere out there,but then people started thinking that “ect” actually WAS theabbreviation for “etc” and… no… Seriously, click on that link upthere and read the definitions of both abbreviations. There is a very cleardifference and it makes me want to rip my hair out that people don’t realize.*sobs*

70:Can I sing?

Actually, yes. People really like my voice, but most of thetime I’m really shy/awkward about it. To think I once wanted to be a singer ina band. ;;-;;

I remember going to a sleepover for a classmate’s birthdayparty in 6th grade and I casually mentioned that I liked to sing, so all thegirls in my class who were there wanted to hear and they kinda coaxed it out ofme. They were all super impressed and wanted me to sing them a lullaby beforewe all went to sleep, but I ended up singing them some 60’s RocknRoll musicinstead because I was really into it at the time and that’s all I knew off thetop of my head.

And then in 8th grade, the music teacher at our schooldiscovered that I had a perfect singing voice for the school musical and sherearranged an entire scene in the script just to give me a song so she couldutilize my voice. I had kind of resigned myself to it at that point, so thefirst time I had to sing in front of everyone during rehearsals I justpretended like I was singing for everyone at that party again. And after I hadfinished the song, everyone in the auditorium who hadn’t heard me sing beforewas speechless and I got a freaking standing ovation because they didn’t expectthe quiet kid to be hiding that kind of voice. //dead

Unfortunately, I don’t have a very powerful singing voice,so it didn’t project very well. No matter how much vocal training I was putthrough for it. But because my speaking voice is so loud, I didn’t need to weara body mic for my voice to project to the back of the auditorium. You know thatrule of the stage about how you’re not supposed to turn your back to theaudience while you’re speaking because it muffles your voice? I was told Icould act in any direction I wanted to if it worked for the scene because, evenif my back was turned, everyone could still hear my voice loud and clear evenin the back row. *sigh* So, the one song I had seemed kind of pointless in theend, but the music teacher (who was also the director of the play) refused togive it up. She apparently just really loved my singing voice that much.Instead, she told me to talk-sing the parts of the song that were too high forme to sing loud enough and I thought that was kinda silly, but I did it anywayand it turned out alright. I can sing lower notes quite loudly, apparently,just not the higher ones.

So, I guess that answers the question. I like singing bymyself, though. Sometimes, I’ll sing around people I’m close to or feelcomfortable with. But generally I’m still awkward about it.

80:Can I drive?

Not yet. *sobs* But I’ve been taking driving lessons and Ihave a road test coming up soon-ish. So, hopefully I’ll have my license beforethe end of the year. I mean, technically, I guess you could say that I can drive at this point, but… I’m really not that good at it.

Up to now, the only vehicle I’ve been able to drive is atractor. A car is a whole different creature, though, and I’m having troublefiguring it out… especially since I’m apparently too small to see over theback seat properly and I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to deal with that,since it’s kind of a pretty important thing for backing up. =/

Tractors are way less terrifying and I would much rather usethat as a mode of transportation if given the opportunity. XD

90:Favourite sporty activity?

When I was a kid, I used to like playing soccer and baseballa lot. Now, I enjoy badminton more on the rare occasions that I get to play it.^^

100:Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?

That is a very difficult question to answer because I don’tactually know. I… don’t really think about that much, so I don’t “keeptrack”… and, besides, gender is a weird and relative thing, so who evenknows? ^^

110:Do I like selfies?

I hardly ever take pictures of myself anymore. I used to alot when I was younger and I kind of wish I still did now, but I just don’thave the energy and I feel weird about it. I don’t dislike it, though. I justkeep putting off doing it because I lose interest almost immediately after Ithink about it. This is why I struggle every time someone asks for a picture ofme because I just… don’t have any recent ones… generally. o-o

120: AmI much of a daredevil?

That really depends on the situation. I don’t mind tryingnew things even if they’re a little out of my comfort zone. But I won’t go outof my way to seek out dangerous/crazy/adrenaline-pumping experiences. XD So, Iguess I play it safe more often than not.

130:Favourite piece of advice?

Aaaaah, I think one piece of advice that can be applied tomany situations and is very important to me because it keeps being relevant inmy life is this…

If someone hurts you (whether they intended to or not) andyou don’t know if you can trust them again, you are not obligated to give thema second chance even if they come back to you and ask for one. If you’re notready to risk putting yourself out there for someone who hurt you before andrisk the chance of getting hurt again, you do not have to. Even if they seem tohave changed or say they miss you and want you back in their life, you owe themnothing. You are not obligated to take them back. You are allowed to say no andprotect yourself. It doesn’t matter if that person who hurt you is“family” or someone you used to be best friends with. You don’t haveto open yourself up to risk getting hurt again just because of your previousrelation to them.

140:Do I believe people are capable of change?

That depends on how you define “change” when itcomes to a person.

Personally, I don’t think people can fundamentally change any part of themselves, but I do believe people can grow. In which direction we grow (positively or negatively) determines who we areat any given time, but deep down on the inside, we are, have always been, andalways will be the same person we were born to be. Personality-wise andwhatnot, that is our identity and it’s how we learn and choose to channel thatidentity that makes all the difference. There’s always room for growth, butoftentimes the results are permanent and it’s easy to spiral in the oppositedirection of our desires because we are still affected by our environments andpersonal situations. You know, the whole nature vs nurture thing. That’s howyou get people who used to be good becoming rotten and people who used to be terriblemaking a positive turn around.

I think this growth is what people refer to as“change”, though, and I’m just being nitpicky with semantics becausethe two words technically mean different things in this context. I justdistinguish between them when it comes to this sort of thing because of whatI’ve observed in different people throughout my life and this is the way I’vemade the most sense of it so far. Humans are complex creatures and it neverceases to confuse and amaze me.

150:What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

I… really don’t know. Clearly, the choices I’ve madeleading up to this exact moment in my life have been a mix of good and bad, butthey still all resulted in me being exactly where I am today. And a lot of goodthings have come from it, such as meeting most of the people in my life. Ican’t really say what the “best” decision I ever made was. I’m justliving each day trying to survive, so I don’t consider each individualdecision. As morbid and depressing as that sounds. I guess I’m grateful forwhatever decisions led me to meeting so many wonderful people. ^^

160:What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?

*looks at the pile of clothes I still need to fold and putback in my closet* I have a lot of pink, black, and white clothes, but I don’tthink either of those colors can be considered the majority of my wardrobe? Ihave a pretty decent mix of colors to choose from.

170:One of my favourite quotes?

I was always a fan of Adam Savage’s “I reject yourreality and substitute my own” because Mythbusters is cool and I liked thecontext in which it was said. XD

180:Do I like shopping?

It really depends on my energy levels. Most of the time, I’mjust not in the mood to go shopping anymore. I used to love it a lot when I wasyounger, especially when I’d get to go shopping with my grandparents and mycousins. But I do still enjoy hanging out with my mom’s side of the family andmy friends, so going shopping with them is more fun than exhausting. So, Isuppose it also depends on who I’m with, too. ^^

190:If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?

Honestly, I never have an answer to this question, so Icouldn’t even begin to think of one. This may sound like a cop-out, but I thinkI would rather not mess around with time travel even if it were possible. Although,if I did have that ability, I’d probably use it in such a mundane way as tofind out about things (like social events or awkward encounters) before they happenso I could make sure to avoid them like the awkward potato that I am. XD

200:Dragons or wizards?

*slams hands down on table* BOTH!!!! Or even better! Give medragon wizards! >v<

210:What is on my bucket list?

Um. I don’t have a bucket list anymore. Well, I mean, thereare a few conventions I’d like to go to eventually, so I guess that. ^^