#hope yall enjoying side order. as for myself i spent a good amount of time crying over pretty octopi

[sukeart]

went looking for marina came back with severe gender envy syndrome

[wienerbarnes]

A Certain Romance (6/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,609

Warnings: happy ending😁

A/N: another series in the books... hope yall enjoyed it as much as i did<3 thank u to everyone who liked/reblogged/left comments/read in general!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

Seven months go by before he sees you again.

A month after that double date, Sam asked about you, about what the two of you have been up to. He realized then that you hadn’t told Sam anything about the fight. You hadn’t said anything. You hadn’t said you’d “broken up” or even just came clean and explained the whole thing. You went on pretending the two of you were dating; did you do it to keep Sam off your back? Did you do it because you thought that’s what he would’ve wanted? He didn’t care about any of that, all he cared about was you. 

He told Sam himself about a month after that. He told Sam everything, about making the deal with you, how you were both feeling about the dating situation. He told Sam about the nights at your apartment, the meals shared, the stories told. He explained the fight that happened the night of the double date and how he’s still trying to get over his feelings.

Sam hasn’t set him up on another blind date, and he assumes he hasn’t set you up on one, either.

Five months after that conversation, he thinks he’s getting better. He thinks about you everyday; how you’re doing, what you’re doing, if you think of him. The only difference between now and seven months ago is that he doesn’t feel the same pain in his chest when he thinks about you.

For a long while it made him so sad, the thought of not being able to talk to you, not being able to see you, not being able to drop by your apartment and share dinner with you. But as much as it pained him, it was what you wanted. You wanted time and you wanted space, so that’s what he gave you.

He misses you, though.

He finds himself in your neighborhood as he approaches the coffee shop he’s been frequenting since he met you. You had gotten him coffee from there once and had him hooked. Perhaps he goes there because the coffee really is that good or because it was you that had showed him the place in the first place. He doesn't think about it.

He walks in and stands in the small line at the counter, not quite taking the time to observe the place and see every single person there as he normally would.

After ordering his regular coffee and placing the change from the ten dollar bill he gave the barista into the tip jar, he stands off to the side to wait for his name and order to be called.

And all it takes is a look to his left to see you sitting there, already staring at him with a surprised expression, for all his progress to disappear.

You look so beautiful.

He stares at you for a second, mouth slightly open before his tongue pokes out to lick at his now dry lips. He clears his throat and stands up a bit straighter to compose himself, or at least make it seem like he’s done so.

“Hi.” He says, a tad awkwardly, but in his defense, he wasn’t expecting seeing you here. He’s come to this same coffee shop in your neighborhood at least once a week for months now, and has never run into you here, even when you were on speaking terms. Of course he’d see you today; he should’ve worn a different shirt.

Your mouth opens to respond with a greeting when Iced black coffee for Bucky interrupts you. His head snaps towards the counter to retrieve the drink before walking slowly back over to where you sit at the counter against the wall.

“Hi.” He repeats again, the only word he seems to be able to say right now.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” You ask him, voice gentle and light, just as he remembers it always used to be. He’s glad that you’re not upset at the scenario of running into him, instead welcoming the interaction; a much better play of this happening than what he was thinking in his head.

He wasn’t sure how the first interaction after not seeing each other would be like, or if there’d be one at all; if he’d ever even see you again.

He was hoping for the movie reunion, spotting each other from a long distance and running into each other’s arms in slow motion, an 80′s love song playing in the background. He feared it’d take an opposite direction, you spot him from afar and walk up to him only to slap him across the face and spit on his shoes. He’d have nightmares about that last scenario.

Neither of you say anything for the first couple of minutes of your walk.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you that night.” You finally speak.

“You have nothing to apologize for -”

“No, Bucky, I do. I should’ve spoken to you about everything, even if we got angry, even if we yelled, but instead I ran away, and I’m sorry.” You tell him.

A moment to take in your words, “Well, apology accepted.” He forgives.

Another minute of silence. He’s not sure how to proceed. While an apology was given, nothing’s actually been resolved. There’s still tension, still wondering of what you’ve been up to all this time, still his own feelings for you that he realizes now after seeing you again for the first time in seven months have not dissipated at all and are very much real in his heart.

He sees in his periphery that you’ve stopped walking on the nearly empty sidewalk and he stops, too, turning around to look at you, a worried expression on your face.

“The truth is I was scared.” You say.

“Of me?”

“Of my feelings.” You clarify.

You inch a bit closer to him, “I was growing feelings for you, and that scared me.”

All he can do is stare as you open your mouth to continue.

“I told myself that I wouldn’t put myself in a position to be too vulnerable. I wouldn’t open myself up as much to people, I wouldn’t get into any more relationships, I wouldn’t do any of that because the last time I did, it fucked me up. And I know you’re nothing like him, but it still scares me shitless. It scares me that you waltzed into my life and made me feel this way in such a short amount of time. It scares me that you made me want to forget all those promises I made to myself. It scares me that you made me want all of that; that you made me want you.” You explain.

He takes a step closer to you so that you’re face to face and you can smell his cologne.

“I want you, too.” He whispers, unable to find the words to say anything else.

You look up at him, “It’s going to take a lot of time, and - and a lot of patience -”

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it all for you,” He promises, the hand that’s not holding his coffee reaching up to cup your face, your free hand laying on top.

He slowly leans in, wanting to kiss you; he’s been wanting to kiss you for seven months. He feels your breath on his lips as you speak again, “Please take care of me.” You tell him. It’s not a question, but a plea.

“I promise.” He whispers back, finally touching his lips to yours, and putting every emotion in it.

A single press of your lips to express how much he missed you, how much he’s thought about you, how much you’ve thought about him. How many times each of you came close to calling the other, unaware of the hope waiting for them to reach out. How many times he dreamed about you, dreamed about taking you out, about kissing you and touching you, about talking to you and wanting you to talk back, if only to listen to the vibrations of your voice in his ears.

Oh, how he missed you.

An afternoon he was planning to spend filling up his time with pointless tasks as a distraction is instead spent holding you in the bed in the back room of his apartment. The soft sheets and plush mattress not all that bad when he has you in his arms to share it with. Embarrassing confessions of how much he’s thought about you, including his breakdown of smashing your plant, which he can now laugh about. Tears shed as more apologies are shared among both parties, love sprouting in the place of fear of a new relationship.

How lovely it is to have you. To have a person he can be authentic with, tears and anger and happiness and laughs included. To have a person who he can take away their troubles and insecurities knowing they will do the same. A feeling he never thought he’d feel; a feeling he always assumed was reserved for the version of James Barnes that never got drafted into the army, the version of James Barnes that survived the fall and went home, or the James Barnes that never fell at all. He never thought he’d find the puzzle piece for his heart, but here you are.

It was a certain romance for two people who never thought they were deserving of love, who thought it just wasn’t in their cards. Maybe in a past life, or a future one, but not this one, not in the lifetime they just happen to be present in at the exact same time.

Perhaps it was a certain romance, or perhaps it was fate, acting through Sam Wilson on that night in that pretentious restaurant.

Which reminds Bucky, he should call his friend and thank him.

[luxuriouschest]

Yay hello! It’s Ella. I’m asking anonymously because Tweendeck is just my side blog and there’s no point in showing my main one. Tumblr told me you started following me with your BNHA blog and omg I’m absolutely over the moon with this fact! Thank you so much for still being interested in my art ♥️♥️♥️ But rn I’m struggling with such a huge art block and have no idea how to overcome it. Can you maybe give me some advise or if you ever went through the same shit what helped you?

Ahhhh omggg! Hi, Ella! 🥰 I'm really sorry to hear you're going through art block right now. Tbh, I've been going through a pretty severe creative block myself recently so I perfectly understand how you feel.

Firstly, allow me to shower you in positive feedback and compliments lmao. I wanted to tell you that I spent a good chunk of the morning flailing over your art with my friend @matcha-castella in discord. I linked a few of your pieces to her and she was quickly ass deep in your art tag going ham much like I was the first time I discovered your art lol.

Your art is beautiful. Everything, from the way you draw poses and expressions to the povs to the amount of depth you achieve in your shading is sooooo viscerally stunning that every time I see something you've drawn, I spend at least five or ten minutes zoomed in on the image admiring every minute detail. You achieve a mood with you art that I find incredibly rare, and that's the ability to make me feel like I'm sitting in the room with whatever character you draw. I can feel their mood, read their body language, and be fully immersed in every single piece you've drawn.

I know it sounds like I'm waxing poetic here, but I'm dead serious lol. I wasn't joking at all when I said your art adds ten years to my life every time I see it. I am a big, big fan of you work and first and foremost, I want you to know that. I don't get the chance to leave a whole lot of in depth comments on artists works because I always feel like I'm being weird by doing so lol, but I have so much respect and admiration for not just the skill, but the time and the effort and the emotions artists like you put into your creations.

You are amazing and your art is amazing, and I appreciate you sooooooo much 💕 Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.

As far as climbing the mile high hurdle that is a creative block goes, in order to overcome it, I usually have to force myself to. That sounds a lot more brutal than it is, but that's the gist lol.

I'll usually sit back and begin working on something with absolutely no plan and no foresight whatsoever. I usually don't even plan on posting it anywhere. I'm just creating for the sole purpose of doing so. That's how my icon came to be, actually.

I'll doodle, edit, write drabbles, or just dick around in photoshop and pray that an idea strikes me in the process. Sometimes this works immediately and I end up with something I'm really proud of. Other times, it takes a number of tries before I finally get the creative juices flowing again. It relieves a lot of pressure because regardless of whether or not I'm happy with the end product is irrelevant because I went into it with no idea, no plan, and no sense of 'I must create this thing!' looming over me. If I end up dissatisfied, I can always try again the next day and that sense of whatever I'm making not needing to be perfect or even cohesive really helps me overcome a lot of my creative blocks. It gives me freedom to experiment and explore and fuck up lmao. Which in turn leads me to finding solutions that work and ideas flowing along with said solutions.

If this method fails me, I'll seek inspiration elsewhere. I'll either go over the series pertaining to the content I'm trying to create again, or I'll dabble in something else entirely. I'll do things I enjoy that free up my thinking space and force me to focus like reading fics or playing video games. That way, I can at least go into the creative process with a fresh perspective.

Bouncing ideas off someone else is another thing that really helps me. If I throw an idea out for something, and someone comes at me excited about that idea, I'm suddenly a lot more motivated to try and make the idea a tangible thing.

These methods aren't foolproof by any means, but it's what keeps me in the creative groove. Or forces me back into it at any rate lmao.

As far as advice goes, I feel the best advice I can give is don't be so hard on yourself. All creators go through blocks. It sucks ass, but it's all a part of the process. Try not to stress yourself out by focusing on your art block and turn that focus to other things that make you happy. When you feel up to it, keep creating and take breaks in between as you need them. Try and fail and try again. So long as you keep creating something, anything, even if it's weeks or months in between your attempts, you'll overcome that block eventually.

I'm wishing you the absolute best, Ella and please know my inbox is always open for whatever you may need. Whether it's just to chat, bounce ideas around, vent, etc. I hope this post helps even just a little and that you can kick your art block square in the balls here soon 💕

YALL GO FOLLOW @tweendeck!