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yuziyuanapologist · 3 years ago

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want the world to believe [yiling laozu!lan wangji, part 3.2]

[gifset] [part 1] [part 2.1] [part 2.2] [part 3.1] ok, part 3 (jiang yanli) is done with! somehow unfortunately it got to 4.9k. i didnt mean for that to happen ;-; big big big huge thank you to @goldencorecrunches for reading this through. who and where would i be without u. warnings but not really for canon typical violence, kind of? but if u watched ep21 of cql, this is pretty much that.

The best thing Jiang Yanli can do, it seems, is simply to be around for A-Xian. To allow him to lean on her, to pretend to be a child and hold on tight. He seems so desperately to need that right now; even when A-Cheng brings up how idiotic he looks it barely dissuades him.

The days go on like this, with a war, with a grey atmosphere, with a mounting body count. They go on with A-Xian throwing mournful glances across courtyards and dining halls and training grounds and yet through it all pretending to laugh and smile and somehow fooling almost everyone. But not, of course, fooling Jiang Yanli.

With every passing day the outlook seems to get bleaker. There are raised voices and tense silences through closed hall doors, and Jiang Yanli has no way to help and no words to say to make it better. She passes Jin Zixuan in the hallways and even tries to give him a comforting smile, and, for once, he doesn’t ignore her. He simply looks defeated.

And she sees less and less of Lan Wangji, and more and more of Zewu Jun’s hidden impatience and frustration and it’s clearer and clearer that all of it seems to be going wrong.

She, A-Cheng, and A-Xian are in their rooms early one afternoon, silently sharing a meal when a Nie disciple knocks at the door.

“Nie-zongzhu has called a meeting,” the disciple says, and it’s no different to every other day that it seems to happen, it's just that the meetings end with less hope each time.

A-Cheng nods, and gives gruff thanks, while A-Xian seems to have drifted away, to some other thought, some other place. A-Cheng nudges him to stand and go with him, but he simply shrugs him off.

“I’ll come in a bit.”

“Wei Wuxian, you’re always late for these things! Do you realise how humiliating it is for me, for our clan, when you -”

“I said I’ll come in a bit.” A-Xian says it in a flat tone, feigning apathy.

A-Cheng huffs and storms off, ignorant as always of A-Xian’s quieted pain. Or at least, taking the simpler path of pretending to be. With so much going on outside, a war raging, a clan thrust into his hands - and A-Xian doesn’t want him to notice, anyway. Perhaps this is for the best.

Moments later, with A-Cheng gone, A-Xian nods to himself, and puts his hands on the table to push himself up.

“A-Xian -” Jiang Yanli says before he stands.

A-Xian sighs, and his shoulders slump, defeated. “It’s just that - he’s never there. I don’t - I don’t understand why he’s never there.”

There’s no question who he’s talking about, but she has nothing to say to it. A-Xian continues anyway, as if the dam has broken, and now that he can finally speak of it he doesn’t stop.

“I mean, he could - I’m sure he could win this war for us if he tried. You didn’t see -” he shakes his head. “He’s powerful. He’s learnt some techniques, somehow, and - but - I think Zewu Jun doesn’t want him to -”

He stops himself again, and shakes his head, finally pushing himself up to standing.

“Forget I said anything. Please? I don’t know what he’d do if he knew I said anything, but - I’m going to look for him.”

Jiang Yanli nods, helpless, speechless, but - no, she can help.

“Let me search with you,” she says. “If anyone asks, or sees, you can say that I asked you to accompany me for a walk.”

The ghost of a smile appears on A-Xian’s face. “Really?”

Jiang Yanli nods, returning the smile with a real one of her own, soft and reassuring. “Where do you think he will be?”

He’s never in his rooms, A-Xian had said. I don’t think he’s within the Unclean Realm walls. I’ve looked everywhere, countless times. I wonder if he might be - out in the mountains. There’s a path to the south, and it leads to a - and the energy there - I think - I think he could use it.

Jiang Yanli hadn’t known what he had meant, but she had allowed A-Xian to lead her out, to begin to walk with her outer robe pulled tight around her against the cold wind.

Thankfully, the journey isn’t a long one. Lan Wangji, after all these days that A-Xian has searched inside the Unclean Realm, isn’t difficult to find outside of the walls.

There’s the sound of quiet guqin music along the mountain path, and as they draw closer, the softness of the sound becomes almost threatening. A gentle instrument, but one used to spark fear, to bring pain. Jiang Yanli grows ever colder even with no change to the weather.

A-Xian is barely holding himself back from running, and yet faltering, all at once. He seems uncertain whether to call out, or whether to draw Lan Wangji’s attention, or whether he should simply -

Before he reaches a decision there are shouts reaching their ears from the path in the valley below. Nie soldiers waving swords and whips at a group of - they must be Wens, prisoners, but none of them seem to pose any danger. Or, no, there are a few soldiers, injured and stumbling among them - but, for the most part, they are simply civilians, in torn rags for clothes, their hair in disarray, their skin smudged with dirt and blood, and -

Oh, perhaps they aren’t all civilians - for there, in the middle, her arms around an old woman, is Wen Qing.

Jiang Yanli isn't the only one to notice her. Seconds pass and A-Xian's grip tightens on Suibian, and he scrambles down the mountain, furious, somehow seeming to forget his intentions here.

"A-Xian, wait!"

All that Jiang Yanli remembers of Wen Qing is her kindness and gentle manner when she cared for Jiang Yanli back in Cloud Recesses. That she had prevented her cousin from causing a scene and starting a fight back at the very beginning. That, though she shares the name, Jiang Yanli has met others of the Wen Clan, ones that destroyed her home and held her at swordpoint and killed so many - Wen Qing is nowhere close to them.

And yet, A-Xian is caught up in war.

The mountain path is steep, and Jiang Yanli will never get down in time. Already A-Xian has stopped in front of Wen Qing and the terrified woman next to her, and is raising his sword - a threat, to begin with, but it may well become more, and soon.

Jiang Yanli struggles to keep pace down the rocky path, calling out for him, his name a plea for his mercy, but she isn’t even certain that he hears her.

Almost down, almost close to being able to put a hand on his arm, and beg him to reconsider, for her sake, but it turns out she did not need to rush, and is glad she didn't.

A rush of dark smoke has flooded the valley, only barely missing Jiang Yanli. All else below fall, some knocked flat, some with hands to ears, some crouched in terror. Wen Qing with her arms still covering the woman and A-Xian with his hand clutching his sword, though it's as if something is pulling it to the ground and he can't lift it.

The effects only seem to last a few seconds - on anyone but the Nie disciples and Wen soldiers, who all seem to have fallen unconscious.

By the time most are released, Lan Wangji has descended the mountain, and Jiang Yanli has reached her brother's side, helping him up while trying to soothe his rage all at once. His hand still shakes around the sword, though, and Wen Qing stands in quiet defiance, pushing the old woman behind her now.

"Wei Ying."

A-Xian's whole body jerks in surprise. It must be months since he has been called that, and by such a voice for which he has ached so long.

"Wei Ying, put down Suibian."

It's not such a command, more a plea, though it could be both. A-Xian slightly lowers his sword, but does so with uncertainty.

"She's a Wen," he rebuffs. "Most here may be civilians, but she - do you not remember the indoctrination? How many died in that cave?"

Wen Qing clears her throat, and speaks up in a voice roughened from only whispering. "The doctors of the Dafan Wen heal. We do not kill."

"You stand by and watch," A-Xian hisses. "It's just as bad."

"A-Xian," Jiang Yanli soothes, her hand on his arm. She doesn't know what to tell him, doesn't understand the situation, but he is so angry.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji's voice is quieter now, but it catches A-Xian’s attention in an instant.

And though Jiang Yanli is looking on, it seems that for the two of them the world has narrowed, their eyes meeting - Lan Wangji open and begging; A-Xian desperate to understand but so uncertain of what it all means.

"Wei Ying, trust me. For the sake of my brother's life. And mine."

A-Xian blinks, shattering the moment, and glances at Wen Qing.

"You - saved them?"

Wen Qing nods once, reluctant to admit it. "I only asked for the safety of the innocent in return." she gestures around her, and indeed, all left standing are civilians. "My brother among them. You say you recall the indoctrination, then remember what he did for you there. Kill me if you wish. Just - spare my family, and my brother, if you find him."

Most of the fight had left A-Xian at Lan Wangji's words, but what little was left rushes out of him now. He hesitates a moment longer before he sheathes Suibian, and dips his head in reluctant acknowledgement.

As soon as A-Xian has calmed, Jiang Yanli takes the opportunity to step forward, carefully reaching out for Wen Qing’s hands. She holds onto them tight, and searches Wen Qing's face carefully.

"Shijie!" A-Xian cries from behind her, but she has no intention of listening to him.

"Is there anything you need?" she asks Wen Qing. "Anything I can do?"

Wen Qing lets out a shaky breath, and attempts a smile.

"Jiang-guniang," she says, and - isn't crying - but could be. She shakes her head. "This war is unavoidable. We all know it. I will not leave my family, but you should not associate with us."

Still, she does not let go immediately. Jiang Yanli holds on, desperate to do anything else, anything to help.

But she has no part in the war effort beyond caring for her brothers, and -

"If we find Wen Ning," she tries to promise, not knowing if it's the right promise to make. "I will make sure he has a place at Lotus Pier."

A-Xian is quiet behind her, but she does not look to see whether he is nodding or cursing her.

"Thank you," Wen Qing replies, hoarse and breathy, disbelieving. "But do not get hurt because of it."

With one last grateful squeeze of her hand, Wen Qing pulls away, and addresses the three of them.

"We will leave now. Thank you for sparing us."

Jiang Yanli steps back to stand beside A-Xian, who has moved closer to Lan Wangji and is only just holding himself back from reaching out, trying his best to beseech him with his eyes while Lan Wangji only looks straight ahead at Wen Qing, who bows low, before leading her people away toward the mountains.

Jiang Yanli swallows down the tears and the flood of curses before they can reach out of her throat, and brings herself back to the present.

"A-Xian, the meeting," she says. “We should go back."

But A-Xian barely seems to hear her, so intent his gaze on Lan Wangji. He opens his mouth instead to speak.

“Lan Zhan,” he barely breathes it. “Lan Zhan, if you have such power as this - why are we losing the war?”

Lan Wangji turns, finally catching A-Xian's eye. He’s reluctant to reply - or unable, his mouth opening and closing, and swallowing, and trying again with nothing to show for it.

A-Xian tries to reach out, but the moment his hand finds Lan Wangji's arm, Lan Wangji flinches back almost violently, accompanied by the sound of his feet sliding against the gravel path, and a quiet scraping sound of guqin strings from the case on his back, altogether a discordant mix.

Instead, Jiang Yanli reaches for A-Xian's wavering hand, resting fingertips just below his elbow and, really, offering no physical support, but despite that, somehow, A-Xian is only standing because of her touch.

"I came to an agreement with the Lan elders," Lan Wangji finally speaks, and Jiang Yanli can’t help but notice he doesn’t refer to them as his own clan anymore. "My abilities are only to be used as a last resort."

A quiet breath, and a movement as if to reach again, but A-Xian seems to stop himself this time.

“We need you now,” he counters, words where he wanted to use touch. “Please. We’re losing more people by the day. I’ll help you - I’ll - come to the meeting, I'll speak for you, and explain what you can do. Let me - let me help you, please.”

Lan Wangji is taken aback by this, but does not speak. Only blinks for a quiet moment, considering - or else barely comprehending.

Jiang Yanli tries her best to support A-Xian's words, nodding along in silence, but to speak would be to shatter the understanding between the two.

The agreement from Lan Wangji, when it comes, is almost imperceptible, with a simple nod and a quiet hum. But still there is a waver to the sound.

A-Xian lights up despite it. “Great, that’s - great!”

He turns and strides away, of course expecting to be followed. Jiang Yanli turns seconds later, with a last look at Lan Wangji to check that he too will join them, and that he had not been lying about allowing A-Xian to help him.

Jiang Yanli does not go inside the hall with A-Xian and Lan Wangji. She waves them in from outside, intending to leave, not needing to hear what they might say inside, but she pauses when she hears Zewu Jun.

“Wangji,” he says, his voice calm, but strained. “You’re here.”

Before anything else, A-Xian speaks up, loud and commanding, pretending to be speaking lightheartedly but there is a hint of disagree-if-you-dare laced through his tone - this undertone even audible to those he hides pain from.

“Lan Zhan has new techniques that can help us win. With them he was able to drive the Wens from Cloud Recesses, and can fell a group of soldiers in one go. If we want to win this war, we need him.”

Lan Wangji does not speak to this, at least not in a voice loud enough for Jiang Yanli to hear - and she does not need to hear the rest, anyway. A-Xian is in control of the situation - perhaps A-Cheng will come to her later, pacing and raving about his disregard for their reputation, but she is well practiced to deal with that.

For now, she will make a warm meal, and - now that she considers it, she should make enough for Lan Wangji, too. If A-Xian will be spending more time with him, their friendship and whatever more recovered, then of course she will take Lan Wangji into her care. He has gotten so thin these past months.

“-He doesn’t even consider what the clans will think of us, now that he’s learning evil tricks with Lan Wangji. And not to mention tricks that as good as had him expelled from his own clan, I mean - what good does he think this could do -”

It is as she expected. A-Cheng is furious at A-Xian’s actions, and is talking at length of it.

“The amount of times I had Yao-zongzhu and Ouyang-zongzhu shaking their heads at me, lamenting what has become of the Jiang clan since - and they don’t even appreciate that if not for our clan, the Yao clan would’ve -”

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli stands, moving towards him to placate him with a hand on his arm. “Come and eat, the soup is going cold.”

“I- fine.”

He stalks back to the table and sits heavily, exhaling a rush of frustrated air.

“Where is Wei Wuxian anyway?” he asks.

A-Xian had not returned after the meeting. Jiang Yanli knows that he had asked to be able to help Lan Wangji, and he must be overjoyed to be allowed back by his side, he must not want to leave him.

But instead of telling A-Cheng this, to ignite his fury once again, she only shakes her head. A-Cheng scowls, and finishes his bowl in record time, slamming it down on the table.

“I’m going to train,” he says.

It will do him good, to get his anger out through his sword. Though she wishes she could talk him down from this - even if not to help him understand, since she doesn’t quite herself, then at least to encourage him to listen to A-Xian, to take his side into account.

Maybe, too, when he is calmer, she can broach the subject of bringing a Wen traitor into their clan. Or perhaps she should only cross that bridge if it is reached. Besides, the Jiang clan will likely need more back up than just their own clan to get away with such a thing, unless they were to conceal him.

She cannot approach Nie Mingjue for this support, he is far above her and far too busy with the war; nor can she approach Jin Zixuan - he is not the clan leader, and besides, the thought makes her heart pound in her chest. The only remaining option is Zewu Jun, and he will not want to see her request any more favours - but he, too, was rescued by the Wen siblings.

She sighs, and shakes her head at herself. Now is not the time - there is still soup left, still warm - perhaps she could take it to Lan Wangji’s rooms, in the hopes of finding A-Xian there with him.

“You should not use this technique yourself,” Lan Wangji is saying inside the room. “I have not yet figured out the effects.”

“Then why are you using it?” A-Xian replies. “Why should I allow you to continue -”

“It is too late for me,” Lan Wangji replies. “I have already taken the effects into my own body.”

“And you don’t know what will happen? Lan Zhan, you -” A-Xian is panicked, but quiets suddenly, his voice turning to an urgent humming sound - ah, the silence spell.

“Do not argue,” Lan Wangji replies. “I have agreed to teach you what I know. There are still ways that you can help.”

Jiang Yanli shouldn’t eavesdrop like this anymore, and besides, she came for a reason. She raises her hand, and knocks on the door.

“Lan-er-gongzi?” she asks. “Is A-Xian with you?”

There’s the sound of rustling, a soft thump as if A-Xian might have hit Lan Wangji, then, within seconds -

“I’m in here, Shijie, you can come in!”

The door slides open as he speaks, revealing Lan Wangji, who bows.

Jiang Yanli smiles and bows in return. “I brought soup. There is enough for both of you.” She tries not to let her eyes linger on the condition of Lan Wangji’s body, the way that his wrist bones jut out, the way that his new dark robes hang differently on his shoulders, as if there’s less of him there for them to hang on to.

A-Xian lights up. “Shijie, you’re the best!”

Jiang Yanli laughs quietly. “Thank you, A-Xian.” She looks at Lan Wangji. “May I?” she asks, because she will not chide A-Xian for his lack of manners by inviting her into someone else’s space, but she can subtly remind him that it wasn’t proper.

Lan Wangji nods, and steps aside, gesturing to the table. She steps in, places her basket down, but does not sit.

“I won’t intrude on the two of you,” she says. “It seems you are hard at work. I will return for the basket later.”

“Shijie,” A-Xian whines, but it’s less that he disagrees and more that it’s his habit, to act that he can’t manage without her. Whatever plans they are making here, whatever A-Xian is helping Lan Wangji with - she does not need to be here, and A-Xian knows it.

She puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles, then watches as Lan Wangji sits.

“I hope you will both eat as much as you need,” she says, but does not push the point any further - for the most part, it is none of her business, only that she worries. “And A-Xian, when you return, please apologise to A-Cheng, for my sake.”

“What? I did nothing -” he starts to argue, but catches himself under Jiang Yanli’s rare stern gaze. “I will, Shijie.”

Likely he will have forgotten all about it by the time he returns, but there isn’t much more that Jiang Yanli can do.

“Good. Then I will leave. Thank you for hosting my brother, Lan-er-gongzi,” she bows.

“I can thank him myself,” A-Xian mutters, while Lan Wangji bows in return.

“And did you?” Jiang Yanli asks, not waiting for an answer that she already knows before shaking her head in fondness and turning to leave.

Perhaps she should have mentioned her intention to visit Zewu Jun to Lan Wangji, but it had slipped her mind with the overheard conversation and the need to care for both of them. She could return, collect her basket and mention it then, but who knows what resistance she might encounter from Lan Wangji if she was to suggest it.

No, she finds herself moving to where she knows Zewu Jun to be, and simply hoping for his kindness, his serenity and understanding nature.

Outside the room, Nie Huaisang paces. An odd sight, to see him anywhere close to where a discussion of war might take place, and on top of that to see him so deep in thought. His brow is furrowed and he’s muttering to himself, but as far as Jiang Yanli is from him, his words are inaudible to her. He stops as he sees Jiang Yanli, and grins widely, ceasing the tapping of his fan to one hand and instead flicking it open.

“Jiang-guniang,” he says. “What brings you here?”

Jiang Yanli bows, something that perhaps Nie Huaisang believes they are too close for after all the time spent in companionable silence. And perhaps she would agree, only she cannot be ill mannered in someone else’s home.

She’s not certain she should answer Nie Huaisang - not certain how close he is to his brother to reveal what seemingly treacherous things might be occurring before the time is right for him to know.

Instead, she bows again, and holds her silence on it. “I needed to see Zewu Jun. And you?”

Nie Huaisang, thankfully, does not push. He only sighs and answers her. “Dage is in there,” he points his fan towards the door of Zewu Jun’s rooms. “I’m afraid they might be a while. Talking war stuff, you know,” he shrugs. “I just have something to tell Dage, but - well - you know what, I - hm.”

He does not elaborate on his strange cryptic words, only flicks his fan in front of his face again, waving it slowly. “Maybe not right now.”

“Is there something I can help with?” Jiang Yanli asks, though she can already guess at the answer.

Nie Huaisang shakes his head. “It’s just war stuff. It’s always war stuff,” the words are said in such a carefree tone that Jiang Yanli almost wonders if she had misheard them. “I should probably ask someone else before I ask Dage, really. Do you think Wei-xiong would help?”

“I’m sure you could ask,” Jiang Yanli says, and does believe that he would help, if it weren’t for, well, that she doubts he will be seen much, now that he has his Lan Wangji back. “You say that Nie-zongzhu will be in there for a while?” she asks.

Nie Huaisang sighs. “Oh, probably. They always talk for hours.” His shoulders slump in exhaustion. “Yeah. I’m gonna give up waiting.” He almost turns, then stops and bows. “If you see Wei-xiong,” he asks, suddenly hesitant. “Will you ask him? To - to help me, I mean.”

“Of course,” Jiang Yanli replies, and bows in return. “Might I say what with?”

All she gets is a stuttering half laugh in return, and a slightly mischievous smile. “Um, war stuff?”

Of course, what else could she have expected? She watches Nie Huaisang walk away, then turns her attention to the closed door. Sure enough, there are low, serious voices coming from inside, deep in a discussion of which the words do not reach her.

Perhaps Nie Huaisang was right. Perhaps she will come back later, and try again.

A-Xian laughs her off when she tells him of her encounter with Nie Huaisang the next morning.

“Sure, I’ll see him at some point,” he says, all but crossing his fingers behind his back. “I’m sure he knows exactly what he’s talking about when he says war stuff.”

“A-Xian,” she chides gently. “It’s not right to be cruel.”

He half laughs, and half bows his head. “Sorry, Shijie,” he says, sounding quite insincere. “I’ll see him. Just - not right now. I’m - busy.”

He is, she knows, on his way to Lan Wangji’s rooms, and yes, she could appreciate that as busy. He must feel the need to spend every waking moment there, to fix whatever he can, whatever inside and outside Lan Wangji, whatever in the war that can be fixed. He asked to be able to help, and Lan Wangji permitted it, and she has seen it before - that all the focus in his mind must be on that. Nie Huaisang, as strangely as he acted and as much as he requested help, must barely register to A-Xian.

Jiang Yanli shakes her head, and lets him go. “I understand,” she says. “I will bring you both a meal later. Do you know what Lan-er-gongzi likes to eat?”

Instead of replying, A-Xian instead sweeps her into a hug. “Thank you, Shijie,” he says, smile audible in his words, gratefulness soaking it through. He holds on tight for a while - and Jiang Yanli lets him, of course.

Though over the next few days she comes accustomed to finding A-Xian in Lan Wangji’s rooms, there comes a time when she is greeted only by Lan Wangji himself.

He doesn’t speak, only comes to the door, and bows, his expression somewhat passive - and somewhat longing.

“Lan-er-gongzi,” Jiang Yanli smiles gently. “Is my brother not here?”

“He - left.” Yes, longing. A crack of guilt, too.

“Is everything alright?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji replies, though his voice shakes, perhaps with the effort of forcing the words out. “I may have - offended him.”

Jiang Yanli tilts her head to the side. “How so?”

She doesn’t believe it, in all honesty. A-Xian is offended by so little, and, though he says nothing to her, she knows that Lan Wangji would almost certainly be allowed to have his way with A-Xian, to say and do whatever he so wanted, and A-Xian would take it all gratefully.

Lan Wangji doesn’t reply.

“Did he hurt you?” she asks instead. It’s a more realistic possibility - one that he would never intend in a million years, but he is so careless sometimes. So wide and free with his movements and thoughts, so lax to filter anything from his speech. That Lan Wangji believes himself to have offended him - it is more likely to be that he watched A-Xian fly from the room, a reaction to his own guilt at hurting Lan Wangji. “Lan-er-gongzi, I know he can be foolish sometimes. Please forgive him - I am certain he-”

“I have,” Lan Wangji says in a thoughtless hurry of a whisper, so unlike himself that Jiang Yanli can do nothing but blink for a moment. “I - I mean -” he trails off into his own confusion, shoulders sinking, swallowing repeatedly, as though he’s trying to take the admission back from his mouth down to his stomach.

Instead of explaining further, he simply brings his hands up in a bow, and makes to close the door.

“Lan-er-gongzi,” Jiang Yanli hurries to pause his movements, and raises the basket. “I would still like you to have this.”

It’s Lan Wangji’s turn to do nought but blink for a moment. “I don’t think Wei Ying will be back to eat here.”

Jiang Yanli gives her kindest smile, pulling out all the stops of gentility and patience, calm and reassuring. “Lan-er-gongzi, I mean for you to eat it,” she says.

She does not reach out and pinch his cheek, or pat his arm as she would with her brothers, but it is a close call.

“Have you eaten today?” she asks instead, and without waiting for a reply, she continues, holding the basket more insistently close to him now. “Please, take it,” she urges. “I will find A-Xian and ask him to redeem himself to you, if you would accept it.”

Lan Wangji takes the basket with careful hesitance, and attempts something of a restrained nod - something that perhaps wants to be desperate, something that echoes his longing.

With a last reassuring smile, Jiang Yanli steps back and bows, and turns away as Lan Wangji slides the door closed.

Now, to find A-Xian, and have him make things right.

#i really should put this on ao3 at some point #the untamed #the untamed fic #jiang yanli #lan wangji #wei wuxian #fic*#yllzlwj #mine #next part is nie huaisang! but there might be a lil lwj interlude part first #tho it might be a lil rough #idk tho #i really dont know how people feel about outsider pov #like to me...shes my bestie shes a legend she is the moment #THANK GOD IM WRITING THIS FOR ME HUH

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