#hope this makes sense i didn't mean to write this many words lmao

[vasyandii]

I have no idea if I can ask that but I'm so curious... Any headcanons of AM and Vernon having sex? I made conclusion that they are doing that by your last nswf art... (Very good one, btw!) Or am I wrong? It's okay if you don't want to answer on this ask or it's uncomfortable for you! Sorry if I made you feel bad... 👉👈

VernonAM

NSFW Headcanons

Warning: Sexual/suggestive topics.

⚠️ If you're under 16+, Please scroll pass. There are better places to be. (My Boundaries here.)

Howdy Anon, thank you for the ask. you're allowed to ask anything as long as it's in a normal/polite manner XD. I see sex more as a character study/ exploration than anything else.

In the context of THIS art; they haven't yet, more just AM struggling to deal with new sensations and emotions of want because he has big feelings towards Vernon and nowhere to put it to.

1.) AM's bad at fucking.

Let's get this out of the way, when their relationship started to become sexual, AM was bad at it. Like way worse than most. Just because one has the knowledge of how to fuck doesn't mean they have the skill to fuck.

So during the initial stages, it was less than satisfactory for Vernon's end, even if she's been touch starved for 109 years. (not for AM though he enjoys it very much.)

2.) Ideas on sex.

I don't think Vernon sees sex as an act of intimacy, if she does, it's very rarely. To her it's an act of power, worship. She requires it from AM, he's a good follower and she'll be a good god.

AM, however sees it as an intimate experience, a moment of vulnerability that he's willing to give to her. He wants to please and see her pleased. It's a form of showing his affection towards her. AM has more complex emotions with his experience being "human". (I hope that makes sense)

3.) Vernon's experience

4.) Vernon is LOUD. AM is quiet.

She just generally had more experience in sex than him. ( Mostly one night stands during University and her Archeological excavations overseas.) but because of this, the initial stages felt transactional.

Intercourse did get better as time went on but she had to basically talk him through most of it since AM had no sense of pace, rhythm, control, and it usually didn't last long.

Vernon gets a kick out of embarrassing AM in the bedroom. She will moan, scream, laugh. AM knows there's no one to hear them but he ushers her to stay quiet because he gets shy.

AM is fairly quiet because his brain can only process so many overwhelming sensations at once, he short circuits. His words often come out garbled, even in its omnipresence. His face is often buried in her neck to not make any noise.

5.) idk what caption to put here lmao

Vernon's just really degrading when it comes to teasing AM idk how to put it. She'll whisper praises in AM's ear, kisses on his neck, while giving him a handjob or kisses along his thighs and dick before she sucks him off. But then she goes along to choking, scratching, or biting him.

Not much to say for AM since he's a bumbling mess during, alot of sniffled "Thank you's" from him. He's good with his mouth though.

6.) Aftercare

Vernon doesn't do aftercare. It's a waste of time to her, or at least that's what she says, since usually in her past experience she would just leave and never see the other person again.

She's a bit repulsed by the idea that there's something that she has to do that'll make her get attached to someone which shows in her being slightly irritable after sex. An irritated fondness for AM, basically.

AM requires aftercare from Vernon. He's pretty annoying about it. He'll whine and stop her from leaving bed with his weight.

He needs her to give him kisses and tell him that he's good in some way. Vernon will give the reassurance he needs (kisses, petting his hair, holding him) as long as he shuts the hell up and lets her sleep it off.

That's really it for my headcanons for them, I'm not very good at writing sexual things so if there's anything you'd like for me to clarify, feel free to tell me.

[otherone12]

Oh, Baby... You're Mine (part 4)

Vampire!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Heyy!! I was supposed to be doing my homework, but It's much more fun to write this. So if I fail geography, it's all your fault for encouraging me to write lmao.  Well, this is the 4th part of this fic… hope u like it <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! What if i post fics with Teacher x Student dynamic? Also, do you want me to post headcanons?)

if u didn't read, here's the part1, part2 & part3

Summary: He finally let you out, but external interventions made things take a bad turn. (no spoilers here)

- Word Count: 4.190 (holly shit)

- Warnings: She/her pronouns. Kidnap, pet names, degradetion, spanking, stockholm syndrome! AFAB SMUT! (probably a bit cringe, sorry)

> DEAD DOVE!!!! < IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF CONTENT, DON'T READ!!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: Sorry for the smut, i'm not used to write this, i'm still learning already. (:

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

Getting used to him is not that easy i thought it'll be. Most of the time I just lay on his chest and listen to him talk about how many years he lived, or posing to him to draw me. Don't get me wrong, it is not like it wasn't nice… is kinda good, but is boring. I miss my old life, my friends, my family, and the more time passes, the worse this longing becomes.  

Days turned to weeks, and the walls were gradually filled with drawings he had made of me. Various drawings, from sketches to elaborate paintings in color or just in graphite, in several different poses. I can't look at myself in a mirror, thanks to him, but he makes me feel so good when I see the way he sees me.

Even then, I started to involuntarily show my boredom of being locked in a small room. Was a pretty room, but there's nothing to do in there, except for being with Gerard. 

Sometimes he disappeared for hours and came back with gifts. Pretty clothes, necklaces, rings, shoes… It is weird how he always chose the right things. But, again, when he got out I spent hours doing nothing. Looking at the roof and waiting him to come back, or to allowed to get out of that fucking room.  

Another normal day was about to end so, like every day, I was laid on his arms, in silence, until he broke it, with his voice almost whispering in my ear. 

- Are you okay, baby? - He asked in a sweet tone - you’ve been so quiet these days.

- I'm fine… but honestly, I'm bored. - I sighed, speaking with all my sincerity - like, there's nothing to do here.

- I'm not enough for you?

I shivered when his words reached my ears, feeling the kindness leaving his voice. 

- I didn't mean that… I just wanna… - I kinda whine - get out a bit, y'know? 

I turned my head to face him, batting my eyes a couple of times.

- Sorry, princess… - he laughed, with an obvious tone of mockery, but still with a growing sense of stress  - I can't let you go out.

- So you don't trust me? 

My first mistake was trying to start an argument with him. So I received what I deserve, a dry, harsh cut coming from him.

- Not at all

- Why?!

My second mistake was almost yelling. 

- 'Cause you didn't prove to me that you can be trusted!

Gerard shouted, squeezing my arm that he had previously been caressing. The pain wasn't much, but it was still bothersome enough to make me stressed and try to argue even more.

- But i-

- End of conversation! - He yelled, cutting me off. His eyes got dark. Huffing he continued - You're so annoying sometimes! 

I rolled my eyes and the loud silence filled the room, again. He tried to alleviate the weight of the situation by caressing my body and holding me even more tight. 

I understand why he doesn't trust me, and I didn't blame him for that, but he could be a bit more comprehensive, like... he keeps me here with nothing! Not even a television! I have the right to feel bored and want to get out. 

The deadly silence lasted for several minutes, but was again cut short by the unexpected sound of his voice.

- I'm sorry… 

I didn't respond. I think part of me would like to just say it was okay and let it go, but I still can't get over how much his mood swings are. 

- I didn't mean to yell at you… 

No matter how hard he tried to sound nice, I wouldn't respond. He noticed I was still uncomfortable with him, so he took a deep breath and kept trying.

- Look… - he sighed, looking defeated, but a sort of kindness emanated from his voice - Maybe we can go out to have dinner tomorrow…

I didn't expect him to actually agree to hang out, but apparently my silence left him hurt and a little desperate for my forgiveness. Anyway, I was really happy that he gave in.

- Really?!

I exclaimed, my expression changed completely from disappointment to joy. 

- I'm gonna be with you, and you'll have to behave. - He warned, severely - But if you want to…

- Yes! - more than immediately I agreed, after all any agreement would be better than remaining locked up there  - Please! 

- Well, well… - a small smile appeared on his lips and with a hum of gratitude he concluded - so I think we have a date, darling.

- Thanks, Gee! - I turned in his arms, coming close to his face and kissing his cheek. He blushed again…he looks so cute when he blushes. Well, with all this talk, doubts began to arise in my mind. - But… as a vampire, can we eat normal things?

- Sure - It's strange how he manages to appear calm - We don't need to, but we can…

- What about garlic? Can we eat it?

- Yeah… - He chuckled, as if I were asking something obvious. - But take it easy on it.

Apparently, he had already changed one hundred percent from crazy to good boyfriend, so I decided to get a bit far.

- Can we… Still get high?

- Not as much as a human, but yes, we can. - he responded normally, but his curiosity came across a bit harshly - Why?

- Maybe I'm asking for too much… - I made my best puppy eyes, and using my cutest tone.  - But… Can we go to a bar after dinner?

He raised one eyebrow, laughing a little, making it clear that I was almost over the edge, and that he was the one who commanded. 

- I'll see about that.

I smiled at him, I hugged him a little and buried myself in his body. He kissed my forehead, giving me a little hope that we could actually have a proper date night. 

 *** time skip ***

finally the time has come for me to start getting ready, I put on that dress he gave me a few days ago. a necklace, which matches perfectly with the promise ring he gave me. I love the way he always chooses beautiful clothes, mainly because he is an artist and understands color palettes and cuts of clothes. 

He was with me in the room, I was already used to him watching me change clothes, but his indiscreet looks still made me a little embarrassed. The good part about him being there is that I was able to ask him to close the zipper on the back of the dress. 

After putting on the dress, I stared at him for a few moments, while he continued to button the black shirt over his pale chest. He started to fix his collar, and I walked towards him calmly. 

- Gee… can you help me, please? 

I swept my hair to the side, leaving my back free so he could zip it up.

- Sure, princess! 

His hands, that he made a point of touching my skin passing them over the parts of my back where the dress did not cover, while closing it. As soon as the zipper reached the top, his arms wrapped around my waist, and his lips met my neck, kissing softly. 

- So beautiful… - Gerard whispered in my ear and I let out a smile. He rocked me a bit, with his chin on my shoulder. 

I hummed, almost moaning, and he let out a victorious grin. 

- Darling, can you help me with my tie? 

- Sure, babe. - seconds after I finished speaking, I realized the nickname I used, by accident. 

-  What did you say? 

His surprise, mixed with a bit of mockery and pride, embarrassed me a little, but I knew that sooner or later this would end up happening, taking into account my feelings towards him. 

I turned to fix the red tie he had already placed around his neck, and he got closer holding my hips.

- I said ‘sure’ 

I muttered, focusing only on the tie. When it was finally finished, Gerard holded my chin, making me face him. His hazel eyes glowed and his lips reached mine. These little moments with him make it seem like time outside simply doesn't pass, which is ironic because even if time passes, it doesn't make any difference to us. 

- Liked the nickname, by the way… - still with our lips together, he smirked and continued - But I would prefer it if you used a stronger one… 

I moved away from him a little, laughing. 

- A stronger one? - I asked, playfully -  Like what?

- I don't know… - He spoke as if he was seriously thinking about the answer, until his expression changed to a mischievous grin - “daddy”?

It was pretty obvious he was joking, so I followed suit and took it as a joke, laughing and moving away from him to get my bag. 

- Never gonna happen. 

He unlocked the door and held my hand with unnecessary strength. I was already holding his hand, but his insecurity was obvious when we walked through the bedroom door. 

I had never seen the living room or any other room in the house, but they all followed the same gothic aesthetic, but unlike the bedroom, which remained clean, the other places in the house were dusty, with cobwebs and many pieces of furniture covered in white sheets. 

We walked to the car, and the only information I could gather about it was that it was black. Gerard opened the car door so I could get in. 

- Such a gentleman 

- Nothing less to my princess.

He kissed my hand while I sat in the car seat. He closed the door and went to the part of the driver, placing his hand on my thigh, under the hem of my dress. I shivered at his touch.

During the journey, the radio played an almost inaudible sound, perhaps because the only thing that was going through my mind was his hand, slowly rising and rubbing his thumb along the inside of my thigh.

I didn't ask many questions about where we were going, so I alternated between looking out the window and looking at him, who was driving with only one hand, turning the steering wheel. Looking out the window was satisfying, after all it had been weeks since I had seen the outside of that captivity.  

Well, in about forty minutes, he started to park the car in front of a restaurant, a fancy one. I'm definitely not used to this, nor was I waiting for him to open the car's door for me, like he did, taking my hand and, again, holding tighter than was necessary. 

Gerard led me inside of the restaurant hall. We didn't have reservations, but there were several empty seats, considering the random day we chose to go. Arriving at the table, he pulled out the chair so I could sit down and then pushed it again, placing me in front of the table. 

After we looked at the menu, a waiter quickly came to the table.  While he was taking our orders, Gerard seemed very uncomfortable, perhaps with the friendliness I showed the waiter, but I think that was too much even for him.

- So… how does it feel to get out? 

While we wait for the food to arrive, nothing is more normal than starting a conversation, but the topic of "getting out of captivity" was not exactly what I had in mind, but considering his good mood, I think the best thing to do is to join in and continue the conversation. 

- It is great… - I sighed, thinking about how to continue... I guess the least I could do after all his chivalry was to compliment him. - Actually, being with you makes this even better. 

His eyes widened, and a wide smile spread across his face. I smiled back, because I was being honest. Ever since I admitted to myself that I was in love with him, I don't see myself dating anyone else.  

- Wow… - he chuckled - I wasn't expecting you to say that

- We're on a date, right? - I think I've never used this kind of tone with him… I was being sweet, truly sweet - So that means I wanted to be here with you. 

- Make sense… - He stopped for a few seconds and analyzed my face. I admit that I was nervous, and I was already preparing myself for criticism.  - you're so pretty

- So are you… - I let out my breath in relief, and since we're handing out compliments, I couldn't hold back.  - you're actually the most beautiful man i've ever seen

Again the light red painted his cheek… 

- You're exaggerating…

- I'm not! Really, I always find you kinda cute…

Another thing I kept to myself, in an effort to not let him think he could control me, but at this point, there's no way to do it but start admitting this kind of thing.

- So why did you get so mad when i… you know…

He looked around, careful not to say the word, but I couldn't let it slide. I raised my eyebrow, and did a cynical grin.

- Kidnapped me?

- If you want to call it this way…. - he sighed - But speak softer, please, darling.

- Sorry… - Giggling, I start to explain. - I got mad, cause if you just had asked me out, I would have definitely accepted without thinking twice.

- Well… - he said indifferently, thinking about how to continue the sentence without making it look bad for him. - I didn't know about that. Anyways, now is too late.

- Unfortunately… 

Before we could keep talking, the waiter came with our food, I thanked him, and received a deathly look from Gerard. Dude… why?

The small talk during the dinner was nice, the food was delicious and the atmosphere of the environment was pleasant. As soon as we finished, he paid and we went back to the car. The same way, he opened the door for me and drove us. His hand was again laid on my leg. 

Strangely enough, he didn't seem to be heading home. Even though I didn't know the exact way, the side we were going to was the opposite of the side we had arrived from. 

- So… - he cleaned his throat - you asked me to take you to a bar… I'm gonna show you my favorite one.

- Serious?!

It was a shock. It was hard to believe that he had actually agreed to extend the date.

- Of course, princess.

-Thanks, babe! 

I leaned over the passenger seat, stretching enough to reach his cheek with my lips, planting a kiss on him. 

He froze for a moment, taking the situation in. Within moments, a small smile painted his face, still looking forward, driving. The way a simple nickname makes him let his guard down is really cute.

It wasn't long before we arrived at a small dead-end street. The streetlight apparently wasn't working, leaving the street very dark, and the only thing visible was the doorway to the bar Gerard was taking me to. 

Getting out of the car, the same awkward situation of him grabbing my hand tightly. We crossed the front door and took a seat after passing some people who were sitting at the bartender's table. The last two benches were free, so we stayed there. 

- Such a pretty place

- One of the reasons this is my favorite bar. - He explained - I've been coming here for years. Nothing changed in decades. Only the bartenders.

- Make sense

I laughed, and soon the bartender approached us.

- Hey, pretty lady… What's gonna be for you? 

The compliment was enough to completely change Gerard’s expression. A bit embarrassed, I asked for my favorite drink, without showing the slightest sympathy, but not being rude. 

- And for you, Sir?

He turned his attention to Gerard, who glared at him with anger. 

-The same as MY girl. 

His arms wrapped around my waist as the guy turned around and laughed loud enough that I could hear him. 

- Who does he think he is to talk to you like that?!

- It's not a big deal…

- Because you liked it, didn't you?

- Gee… don't be like that, please.

He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but soon the guy arrived with the drinks.  

- Here it is. For the most beautiful girl I've ever seen… - he placed the drink in front of me,and spoke, clearly far from being sober, turning to Gerard - and her possessive boyfriend.

-Thanks - I said, softly, but careful not to sound too friendly. 

- Really?! - Gerard yelled, moving his hand to grab my arm, squeezing it. - You're gonna let him call you like that?

- Gee, please...

A bit of despair took hold of me, I even understood his jealousy this time, but the more attention he gives, the worse the situation becomes. In a failed attempt to calm him down, I placed my hand on his arm, but before, the nasty guy cut me off, making the situation worse.

- Baby… - He said, looking at me. - Why don't you leave this weirdo there and let's make out back there.  

He pointed with his thumb behind the table and in a hurry Gerard pulled the guy's tie, almost hanging him. Pressing his tie against the table, glaring at the bartender with furious eyes.

- You better shut the fuck up, before I kill you… did you hear me?

He spoke with an intensity I had never heard him use, not even when I decided I was going to try to argue with him. 

- Take it easy, dude

The bartender scoffed, not believing it. Gerard grabbed the glass that was almost full, and threw it on the floor next to the bartender. 

- DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?

- S-sorry

Now, he was definitely scared.

- I'm sure you are. - grabbing my arm, he pulled me hard, making me stumble but not fall, as we walked out of the bar - And i'm not paying for that, by the way.

- I think you overreacted…

-You don't know a thing! You were enjoying all of this!

- I-

- Shut up, you fucking cunt! - He slapped my face, and my eyes filled with tears… the more I feel good about him, the worse I feel when he acts this way - You wanted to come here so you could flirt with guys there! Why the hell did I believe that you could behave?!

Still holding my arm, he threw away all the delicacy he used to use with me and slammed the car door. 

- I don't even need to tell you that you won't be leaving that fucking room for a long time, right? 

He started driving, obviously going over the speed limit. I held on to the bench a little.

- It wasn't my fucking fault! - I couldn't stay quiet, there's no way he's blaming me. - What am I supposed to do? Punch him? 

- Don't you dare talk to me like that! - He stormed, hitting the steering wheel - Not when you were all cute with that guy! 

- I wasn't doing anything! 

He remained silent, ignoring me. I was about to continue, but he stepped forward.

- Wait till we got home, princess - what he said could be interpreted as a sweet phrase, but the threatening tone he used was not at all romantic. - I'm gonna make sure that you know who really owns you. 

Not wanting to make my situation worse, I remained silent, not daring to look at him the whole way home. 

Arriving at his house, he practically threw me into the room, and I wouldn't doubt that he was about to kick me, but he gave up when I remained standing, instead of falling on the floor. 

- What are you waiting for, baby? - he spoke calmly, but his aggression was obvious - Undress yourself, NOW!

- Is that really necessary? 

I asked, with visible fear. 

- I don't know - he growled, showing his lack of patience - you want me to tie you up and do it by myself?! 

I shook my head and started to take my shoes off, and then my dress, my underwear and my necklace.  

- Good girl… - a satisfaction grim grow on his face - now, turn away.

He took off his tie, and blindfolded me with that. I won't lie, while I was scared of what he would be capable of doing, every move he made made me even more wetter. 

His mouth pressed against my shoulder, sucking hard and making sure to leave bruise-like marks. I shivered as his hands went around my waist, squeezing tightly. 

I hummed when he buried his face on my neck, licking it up. His mouth reached my earlobe, biting, while his hands went even up in my torso, catching my breast. I moaned.

- Fucking slut - He whispered in my ear. - I'm gonna split you up. 

I felt his hands move away from my breasts, going down to my waist again, and his hot breath was no longer on my neck. Soon I felt him push me forward, aggressively. After a few steps, my legs touched the bed. 

- Get on the bed, whore. - He demanded 

I tried to turn so that my back was on the mattress, on top of the velvet sheet that covered it. 

-Besides being a slut, you're also dumb? - Before I could finish turning around, he grabbed me, preventing me from making any movement. His harsh voice made me freeze, but his next sentence made me swallow hard.  - I want you all fours for me. 

I did so, getting into the position he told me to. Embarrassment took over me, but it was soon replaced by the fear I felt when I heard the sound of his belt being opened. 

- You're gonna have what you really deserve… - As soon as he spoke, I felt the snap and the tearing sound of the leather hitting my ass squarely. I screamed in pain  - See… that's the treatment whores like you get.

He caressed my back, I thought it was enough, but soon I felt the feeling hit me again, and again, and again. The more he hit me, the more I screamed, and soon the tie covering my eyes tie was stained with tears. 

- Aw… Don't cry, darling… - I would give anything for him to call me that with the passion he had used hours ago, not with this mocking tone. - The night will be long… for you.

I jumped a little when his hand brushed my hair out of my face, and kissed my cheek.

- Tell me, princess, who do you belong to? - he spoke gently, but not kindly l 

- Y-you - I murmured.

- Exactly. - Suddenly, he knocked me to the side, turning me now to face him - You're MY whore.

He took the blindfold off my eyes and I could see the hunger in his eyes. Hovering on top of me and grabbing my throat, he showed his fangs with a presunction smile. 

- I'm gonna put you in your fucking place. - he roared, lunging at my neck again. - Tell me again who owns you.

-Y-you.. - I felt his pressure gripping my throat, and almost out of breath I responded - You own me.

- You learn fast. - he let me go, but continued talking with his face in my neck - But there's more I have to teach you. 

Without warning, he inserted four fingers inside of me, curling them to reach my g-spot.

- So needy…

I moaned loudly, as he giggled, knowing that he can make me transition between pain and pleasure in seconds.

He pumped in and out, and I started to feel myself getting closer and closer. Breathless, I tried to tell him. 

- Gee… i'm gonna cu-

- Not yet, cunt. - He growled, taking his hand out of me and moving it to his jeans, unbuttoning them. Then he pulled down his boxers and took his dick out. 

He held my wrists together in the top of my head while he abused my cunt. My pleasure mixed with the pain I still felt in my ass took over me.  I tried my best to hold back my orgasm, with great difficulty I managed to hold myself, hearing him grunt and groan.

After a few seconds, I moaned, feeling him use my pussy as a cum-dump. I started to panic as I couldn't hold it anymore.

- P-please… - I said, and he chuckled.

- Cum for me. - He ordered, and I did what he said. 

The pleasure washed me over, and he let go off my wrists, laying down by my side breathless. I closed my eyes, trying to restore my energy, and he leaned back against the bed rail. 

Gerard tapped his leg, calling me to his lap, so I went, feeling like a fucking pet of his. Not diminishing my embarrassment, I sat on his lap, and he stroked the top of my head. 

- All mine… - He kissed my cheek and rested his head on my shoulder. - Am I right?

I started the night completely in love with him, seeing him as the boyfriend I would like to have, but every time he acts like this I distance myself more and more from him. 

- Yeah… - I said, with a bitter taste in my mouth and a fake smile -  All yours.

___________________________________________

~ Well, that's it… lemme know if you liked! Should i do a part 5? Drop me ideas! <3

PART 5!

[sunciv]

Hi! Just wondering what are your thoughts on the "I win again" scene? Cause personally it makes me want to gnaw on drywall

Omg hi! ok this scene completely broke my heart at first. Immediate reaction was i wanted to fight kageyama with my teeth and nails like dude???? read the mood????

But what made me question it was hinata's reaction. just wipes his eyes and gets the look.

So that made me sit back and think and several things stood out:

1. A bit earlier in the game, kageyama tells hinata "took you long enough". Hinata doesn't get it immediatly, but a bit later says something along the lines of "he completely read me" when he clicks with the greatest decoy nickname. Hence: Kageyama knew that's what was happening and knows Hinata SO WELL. Sometimes better than hinata himself.

2. Kageyama is the one who pushes hinata to own being a decoy. Not just that but the greatest!!! He's the one all like "do you still think it sucks?" etc. He obviously has so much respect for hinata's athleticism and determination, from the very beginning. Most of the time him being harsh is out of frustration with the fact that hinata lost so much time and is so far behind where he should be. Overall he is just all stary eyes, mind communicating, "he's calling me" and whatnot. The guy is hooked, fascinated, admirative and so annoyed to be

3. He also says something like that before youth camp. That time the purpose behind his words is clearer: "i'm going ahead". Maybe i'm dellusional but like how does that mean anything other than "you better be following suit"???? Kageyama takes hinata so so seriously, he says and shows numerous times that hinata pushes him to surpass himself. This provocation to me is Kageyama saying that he accepts hinata as his rival, that he deems him worthy of it and that's HUGE

All that to say that yes kageyama is extremely harsh when he tells hinata that he won again. BUT. It's also recognition that he still values him as a rival. With what he said earlier ("i didn't worry because it's you) he recognizes both that hinata stands out amongst the others for him and that he wasn't expecting him to flail. Like he thought hinata could pull everything off because he has such a high opinion of him. It also gives hinata perspective: the challenge between them is still on. And it's exactly what hinata needs. A kick in the ass, and something to look forward to despite his loss. And kageyama knows it because he knows hinata and cares for him and he wants him to keep going

Hope it makes sense lmao. This single line opened up so many perspectives about their relationship for me. It hurts but it's also a promise

Thank you for asking i really wanted to write this down!!!

[theplottdump]

Hello, I’ve wanted to ask this for quite a long time, but only today I found enough focus for it, lmao. 

TF is Chad up to?

To be more specific: I’ve noticed that he seems more connected to the Island than other household members (not counting Sunny)? Fact that he genuinely cares about going outside is part of what I mean, but it’s mostly about these lines:

“So be kind to this place, the one we share with the birds, the fish, and the trees. Take care of it. And if we do, I’m sure the spirits of this place will return the favor. I only ask them to protect you- keep you safe.”

“He quickly thanked the stars and the island for returning his daughter safely to him, hoping maybe there was someone or something out there watching over her.”

It kind of feels like he’s really into this spiritual (idk if it’s a right word) aspect of living on the Island, and I don't really remember rest of the family mentioning this (maybe because my memory is shit)

So, to the point, it makes me wonder if there’s something in it connected with Sunny’s current situation? I mean, there’s this whole Mermaid Queen thing, but is this the only thing that leads to Sunny’s Child Of The Ocean trait? Maybe Chad somehow helped there?

Or maybe my guy just had his spiritual girlie phase and Val is just such a Piwniczak* that anyone compared to him looks like a number 1 fan of mother nature.

Sorry for ranting again, I’m literally unable to keep my thoughts short C’:

Also, I hope that anything of what I wrote makes sense xD

*it’s a Polish term for someone who practically never leaves home, has no friends and spends most of the time on PC 

Hihihihi Sorry I didn't get to this sooner! I was shooting the next scene and took like way too many screenshots holy shit.

Piwniczak is my new favorite word thank you

I would attribute most of the mentions of Chad's connection to the island as mostly my way of doing some extremely heavy handed foreshadowing re: child of the ocean. But also I don't think it would be unrealistic to consider that he would be more respectful and aware of the local culture and the belief that the island and the surrounding nature is personified with spirits and gods. Val is too much of a Piwniczak so I couldn't really use him to foreshadow Sunny's connections to the island. Like most people in his life I bet Val has this tenuous relationship with the island and the spirits that embody it. And like most people she encounters, the island has developed a soft spot for baby Sunny- especially the ocean. The stars I see as little prying eyes- like twitter followers and readers, entities far away that live for the drama. And the Ocean of course is very maternal. Anyway it's not perfect but the island definitely likes Chad more than Val aksdjaksl

I hope that helps????? A little? At the end of the day I try to lay on the foreshadowing THICK cause it is a serialized format that I write in chunks, and I want everyone to be able to keep up and not feel too lost. Thank you for your enthusiasm!!! It means a lot :)c

xo, Anne

[cellsshapedlikestars]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @hilarychuff

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

honestly, I'm sometimes embarrassed by how much I've written in the 3 1/2 years since I started posting. Currently 66

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,350,298. yikes.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

at this point, Jonsa. we do not talk about The Prior Fandom

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a fairytale ending (by a WIDE margin)

the mating game

take me out

moth's wings

ever fallen in love (on national TV)

(shocker, it's all my romcoms lmao. also, let's not talk about how the top 4 are all fake dating fics. I can't help myself)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I used to do it on all fics, but as discussed above, I'm a wordy bitch and at points responding to all comments on, for example, one shot event fics that I would post back-to-back got overwhelming. So I allowed myself to stop responding to comments on one shots. Recently I had quite the mental health dip and didn't respond to any for a while, but I think I'm back.

Part of the reason I like fandom is the sense of community. I started responding to comments on my first fic because I hadn't resurrected my tumblr from the grave yet, so it was the only way to interact with the fandom. Then I continued to because I appreciated the comments, even if they were simple and I had nothing else to say except thank you. I still try to on chaptered fics because, let's face it, without comments and without community, I wouldn't be posting my stories.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably my WWI one-shot

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I try to write at least *hopeful* endings for all my fics. I don't know if I can quantify "happiest", because I think that's different for everyone.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

of course. I feel like it's a rite of passage on ao3 to get some shitty hate comments

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*through clenched teeth* I sure do

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not really a fan of crossovers tbh

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I'm aware of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! I don't think I could tbh. I'm sort of a control freak and I even have problems letting people pre-read things, I have no idea why. I think the only people I've let pre-read anything are @hilarychuff (who is my brainstorm buddy) and @greenhikingboots (who is the reason the last chapter of the ghost inside made any coherent sense)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, Jonsa. I honestly don't ship that often

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

sigh. white knuckles.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm very fast at it lmao. Like, seriously. I type very fast. I'm also somehow really good at starting a fic off with only an inciting incident, no other real plans, and somehow coming up with a full plot/ending that I'm satisfied with, while posting it as I develop the story

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

outlines. smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I can barely handle English my guy

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hmmm that depends on what the criteria is. First fandom I wrote for was Sailor Moon, I just never posted it anywhere. Harry Potter was technically the first fandom I posted for, but it was one chapter and I never continued it and I genuinely can't even remember what it was called, all I remember is Harry melted Voldemort with a bucket of soapy water like in the Enchanted Forest Chronicles.

The first fandom I was actually active in and wrote more than just a chapter was... A secret. I'm actually a little embarrassed about it and my fics are still floating around out there and some of them make me cringe sooooo hard. I don't think I've ever admitted to it here on tumblr dot com and I don't think I will now

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

help me out of the shape I'm in

I'm always so anxious about tagging people and leaving people out and making them feel bad, but I'll try to do it anyway. @greenhikingboots @sibyldisobedience @thewolvescalledmehome @esther-dot @periwinkle39 @eruherdiriel and anyone else who wants to do this! (also, no pressure to anyone I did tag lol)

[highhhfiveee]

fucking finally!

hi hi all [: i’m sorry it’s taken me a bit longer to get this message out, i’ve just been overwhelmed by life and other things, but i finally feel able and ready to put out this message! i’m so excited to share with you all the things i’d like to do with the rest of this year!

safety net, part five

the news that everyone’s been waiting for: safety net part five will be out on june 25th! i’ve been editing it over the last few days and while editing makes my brain sound like a fucking helicopter, i’m setting a deadline so that i don’t just push it off when the material is there lol. i’m happy with the little portion i’ve edited so far, so i’m excited to continue with the rest of it. if i finish editing earlier than that, it’ll be up earlier! The 25th is just my hard deadline. [:

the future of safety net (plus a disclaimer)

with that said, i’ve decided to forgo a set amount of parts. i originally planned to tell the full story over 8 parts, but taking that long break helped me step back and really think about what i wanted to get across with y/n's story.

i also wanted to mention that safety net isn’t meant (and has never) to glamorize or romanticize sex work! i am overwhelmingly supportive of the sex work industry and those that take part in it, and i wanted to steer away from making it seem that i was anti-sex work while on the other end, making sure that i didn't paint sex work as this perfect thing (there's more exposition to this in coming parts).

to me, the story is an examination of the impact of sex, wealth, status, and romance on a girl who had been expecting anything else from her journey. i chose to make mike a pornstar not for flashiness or a “thrill”, but because i think his journey through his career and its impact on his life reflects y/n’s in a way. i hope this makes sense lmao. i just wanted to be very clear and direct that “pornstar” is more than just mike’s role in the AU, but something that means something to him, his identity and those around him. [:

with that said, i decided that i’m gonna leave the number of parts a little more flexible, but capped at 12 parts MAX. when i first started planning and writing safety net, i did not think you all would love it as much as you do 😭 your enjoyment made (and still makes!) me so so happy, but it also made me re-evaluate the progression of the story, so i’ve decided to expand on some things [: the tone and language of these next chapters may be different as well, as i’ve had more time to outline, plan, and think about every word.

i've also planned a few "behind the scenes" fics, but more on that when the time's right.

the future of faire's fics

i have not abandoned any of the other mike AUs! i still have so many ideas for all of them, but at the forefront is the next part of the drinks series, taking us through y/n’s pregnancy and what not. i was wondering, though, would you all prefer fics/ficlets or headcanons for that? i’m fine with either, but i’m just interested in what format you all would prefer!

extra, exciting, interactive things!

lastly, i loveeeeee connecting my writing to music and visuals, so i’ve made both a pinterest and a spotify playlist!

the spotify playlist includes songs that i write safety net to, as well as songs that remind me of the characters and its namesake [': i'll be keeping it updated, so make sure to check back in for new stuff! [also, i couldn't hide my name on spotify so you get a slight face and name reveal haha. faire is a nickname, though i wish it was my actual name lmao. i'm raj (spelled on there as 'rawj' lmao), i'm faire, i'm everything ✨

the pinterest is so that you all can get an idea of what people, places, and things are modeled after. so far, i've only been saving pictures of josh but i will be filling it in the coming weeks (especially as i update!).

fin

...and that's all she (me) wrote. i'm so excited to get back into everything [: i've been missing this platform, and all of you who are so kind and sweet to me. thank you for not leaving, thank you for supporting me, and thank you for reading. every reply, reblog, and like means the world to me (i do not give a fuck about spam....spam to your heart's content!).

you're all so worthy and loved; if by no one, then by me [: 💜

sneaky little safety net, part five snippet 🤫

you’d been given that. a fresh start of sorts. how could you paint your newly-gained privilege and prosperity as a pain instead of a prime?

your mom would’ve told you to pull your head out of your ass and look at the bright side. “you’d finally get to see something other than that goddamn bus stop. take any way out that you can. god knows i should have.”

love was the way out.

you resided in a comfortable, love-fueled bubble now, something you only believed possible if you'd come out of your mom looking a little different.

though, if that were the case, you wouldn't have been whimpering out, "oh my godddddddddd" as you came against mike's face, your back arching off of the silk below you.

*faire, out 😘

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Hello, I hope this is okay for me to send. I'm one of the blogs you blocked. (First off, this is your good right, and I completely understand and I hope this isn't a breach or invasion of privacy to send this from a different blog)

I always made sure to only tag content of Nolanverse Crane when it's really him and not any other Cillian role because I understand the frustration. And like I said, I absolutely understand that he's not a proper Scarecrow in your eyes. But it kind of hurts to get lumped into a group where I don't feel like I belong (if that makes sense)

Scarecrow in general is my favorite character in any comic related media. Arkhamverse Crane and Audio Adventures are at the top for me, and I also have a deep love for Fear State and little fan interpretations where he's just a funky little freak. My blog is Nolanverse centric atm because I just haven't gotten around to writing fics for the others. (And I'm worried I won't write them well tbh)

But all of that aside, my reason for actually sending this was because I was genuinely missing your posts and opinions on my dash. I was honestly a little worried that I didn't see anything from you before I realized what happened.

This isn't me being angry or petty and please don't think I feel entitled to seeing your posts (I don't want to be THAT person)

I guess this is just me saying goodbye to a pillar of the Scarecrow fandom, and it makes me a little sad

From the bottom of my heart, I hope your mom's recovery goes well and you have a great rest of the day/week/month. And a happy early birthday, Moffy

(ALSO SORRY FOR THIS ESSAY OMG)

A couple of things </3

I THINK I knew who this is. I blocked one person after I made that post. Looking back, that was probably a stupid mistake. I'mma unblock to check when I post this, and you let me know? (I was thinking....oh god I'm gonna get hate from the fangirls and taht legit clouded my judgement. I still fear anon hate)

See, that post was mainly about people I blocked weeks/months ago. I often only block the fangirls, for lack of a better word. I actually made the Cillian post on a whim. I needed some content for the day. (you probably know I upload daily) And sometimes, a little anger is okay. it's a valid emotion. Again, the people I block are more fans of the actor than the character. My main complaint was seeing Cillian stuff, which was not from the movies, in the tag. It just sorta....clogs it up?

Anyway, I can clearly see you're not one of them. If some reason , within the next ten minutes, you're still blocked. Send me the url. I am human. I understand. Mistakes and stupid shit happens. (especially with all I am dealing with irl) (I've been so stressed I think it clouds my brain)

You clearly love the character behind the actor, and I respect that. I think you may have been following me, cus my count went down after I blocked ya. So yeah, I did think that was WEIRD.

I'm sorry if you felt lumped it, it was just an error on my part. I hope you can forgive that.

and ya know, just because I'm not a fan of nolancrane, doesn't mean it's bad. I should reiterate, it brought so many into the fandom. That's great! I still reblog fan content of him. I suppose, the truth of the matter is my autistic brain doesn't do "live action" -- I can't think of one human who could play Jonathan Crane to my expectations. Voice actors yes, Dino Andrade forever lmao

But I just...live of art/comic/animation/games

and anything else feels uncanny. Like now. I dont imagine Crane as a real person. I have no image inside my head unless it's a comic illustration or game render. I Hoooope that makes sense

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

[belovedgamers]

asks for you on your birthday! any combination of [ 🍄, ❄️, 🦋, 🪲] :D?

Hiii I answered this and it didn't save and I was devastatedddd and needed time to recover lmao. Anyway, take two :D

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

While running her experiments, Lizzie definitely forgot an appointment or two with Joel, but it all evens out because sometimes he forgets about the day it is because of his sculpting or building or--

This continues to today. There are things they definitely hold very dear and try to schedule around, but most of the time if Lizzie is like "we booked an ocean tour around evening and it's FULL of rich people sorry", Joel's reply is something like "ooooh, more time to work out the floor's tiling". They lead very chaotic and busy lives <3

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I really want to read a fic exploring what Mythland's citizens were going through during the corruption arc, and how many likely left their homes behind. Could be a single family or even just a person, or many, really. I'd be especially interested in seeing these runaways flee to the Cod Empire (Mythland is vast, for some Helianthia would be too far, and Pearl has her own relationship with the demon that may not be super comforting to run towards). How do you choose to run to your enemy? Why should they take you? Where do you go? Is there already an established Mythic diaspora there? There probably should be! And how do these cultures connect or clash? What prejudices do they all have to unlearn?

As to for who'd write it, peradi or prolix, who each wrote one of my favorite Star Wars fics (have you heard and things we know by heart, both about storm troopers rebelling). Neither of them writes for mcyt though, which means I'll have to roll up my sleeves and figure out some more geography. Heh.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I had a completely different thing here, but it got sent into the aether, so a new topic it is.

A while ago I saw a post with someone very disappointed/frustrated with George R. R. Martin's response to "what's the solar system that causes superseasons?" The response was "it's magic". The poster said you need to have an idea of why your planet works the way it works in mechanical terms, not something that handwaves and dismisses it.

I've been thinking about that lately, with Empires. Do I agree with the poster? I'm not sure. This isn't a defense of Martin, I dislike the guy, but I do think if you're reading a fantasy series with prophecies and dragons and curses and sorcerers... you do have to, at some point, accept "it's magic" for an answer?

The way I see it in Empires, where there are dragons and prophecies and curses and wizards, monsters and gods and immortals, I think of magic as a force that affects the environment, sometimes in unquantifiable ways. If you're one of the people who loves playing around with the idea presented in the end poem that the universe loves you, and I am, then that's another alive force to consider. I would even say that relying on magic is useful when translating game mechanics into a world, and then you can figure out who has access to what kind of magic or how these spell castings differ.

But maybe I am alone in this? I don't know. I'm a "politics, language, textiles and food" kinda guy. If I'm asked to figure out a solar system or complex biological underground networks, I will start weeping.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

This will only make sense to you, or I hope it does. 53 words! Look at me go.

Umbra’s hands were warm. The memory is a punishment, these days. She used to reach out to him, his rough cheek held by her rougher palm, and smile. No, not smile, relax. She didn’t smile much, towards the end. A lot of details have faded, but not that one. He remembers that one.

It's no longer my birthday! Writer's truth or dare!

[tadpolesonalgae]

cbmthy 5 is so good, you never fail. i'm so happy to see reader fight with eris word for word i just wish she did the same with azriel. if she hit azriel with that "not everyone wants to waste their life being miserable and bitter" he would probably cry lmao. no but he's actually starting to get me mad because he did good in coming to talk to her after the shit show but then i realized he wasn't even going to apologize, it was just to try to know more. are you planning on writing anything from azriel's perspective at all? i just feel like at this point him being so dismissive of her feelings is weird since i feel like in the books azriel is a good listener and he understands other's feelings well (we can tell by how he saw nesta in acosf) so it would make sense that he's not trying to be mean here but just keeps saying the wrong things unintentionally, it would also help him to not come across as irredeemable tbh because right now (and i cant believe im saying this) eris is being better with her than azriel. though i think part of that is that she doesn't like eris like she does azriel so she just doesn't care about what he has to say much.

i think it's also a testament of how azriel jusr doesn't really take notice of her that he thinks she can't comprehend why eris is dangerous or whatever, like he genuinely never paid attention to her to know she's actually smart and since he has shadows and all that to tell him these things, he really just never gave it a thought lol she should slap him like she did eris

i hope we get to see her more with the ic though, like i like the eris thing she has going on and it would be fun to see them more but if the endgame is for her to stay in the night court i hope we get to see her more with them, especially with the last part where she doesn't even like saying they're her family (even if it's partly because of her wanting to sit on azriel's face). i think it would be good to see her ask feyre or even rhys the same question she did eris, or other things she doesn't understand well and i dont know what you're doing with her powers but i wish she'd show them instead of them finding out because i can see how they would feel a little betrayed that eris knows but not them and at some point her not telling them makes it feel like she doesn't trust them and like i said if she's supposed to stay in the night court i hope they're good to her. speaking of powers i can't believe eris' bitchass figured it out and didn't tell her (yes i can, the little asshole) but im so excited to see what they are. she glows like starfall and eris connected the dots when she was talking about the mother 🤔

it's also interesting how you bring up the science being a blasphemy thing into it because i never even thought of it since for us science is the real thing and there's no proof god is real but for them the mother is definitely real so i get that science could rub some people the wrong way. it would be fun to see her with helion since there's so many scholars in day court and it's something she likes but i feel like we're more focused on eris here

Sorry for taking so long to answer this 🫠

I’m completely with on you anticipating the beginning of reader managing to stand up for herself! Also getting to see how Azriel will respond when she starts vocalising her emotions, because at the moment she really doesn’t know how to even start on that when it comes to him 😬😞

Her communication skills really 📉 when Azriel.

With Azriel not really taking notice of her, I suppose it is partly that he was more focused on Elain in the past, but reader definitely has some reclusive tendencies (she really loves her books—though at the expense of social interaction, sometimes😭) that I’m not sure I’ve properly highlighted, so I’ll work on that because it’s an important part :)

Honestly the Az pov is a really good idea, since it would help clarify why he’s acting so strangely in Reader’s pov, so thank you for that!

‘(even if it's partly because of her wanting to sit on azriel's face)’

😭😭😭 no you didn’t—

For real though, she’s a bit confused about her sexuality and the idea of being a woman, give her a moment to figure herself out—human society wasn’t exactly encouraging about women enjoying themselves or having any agency/autonomy 😞

Definitely agree about having more IC content since the most they’ve been in CBMTHY is the bday part where their image was a little conflictive? I think it’s important to show how various misunderstandings have happened over the years, and how strange behaviour kind of slipped by because that’s the only way they’ve known her :/

We’ve already seen in acotar that attitudes toward women differ depending on where you are, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable that in places like the Night and Day Courts that attitudes toward science would be more modern, whereas Autumn’s pretty set in its ways 🍁

[shmowder]

Ahh I'm still giddy that you enjoy my messages <3 I've been on tumblr for >10 yrs but for the majority of them I didn't chat with anyone so I feel like a poorly socialized creature sometimes (saying this lightheartedly). Like I said in another ask, please take all the time you need to respond, I definitely don't want you to feel pressured ^^ My main thing if it takes a while is worrying that my ask got devoured by the void and I wouldn't want you to think I'm ignoring you (and especially your amazing reply about Aglaya, Victor, and Yulia)! But I'm also neurotic af and that's a me problem 😅 And I can generally talk myself out of it XD Same goes for requests, too, no rush. (I'm also the one who sent you the Victor x reader request before I picked an emoji, which you may or may not have guessed) 💙

I like that Capella is the oldest as well! I just makes sense. Eva and Maria I can believe as being in their 20s; late 20s for Apple Basket gang maybe, but yeah I'm taking them all with a grain of salt. NO WAY is Mark Immortell 23 in P2.

The other day I remembered that GO ONION, I NEED TO COLLECT THE TOOLS exists and that gave me a good laugh. Do you have the spoken dialogue set to Russian or English (or another language)? I don't even know what their English voices sound like.

So, I've noticed a pattern........ I fall in love with women with some variation of the name Julia...... Yulia (I've been reading the dialogue trees again, and her dialogue at the hospital/theater is the sweetest thing 😭), Julie Langford from Bioshock, Yuria of Londor from Dark Souls 3, Yurie the Last Scholar from Bloodborne. What's that about 🤔

I hope you have a lovely day!

🐿️ anon

I'm really happy that you're enjoying our talks! I completely understand and share a similar experience when it comes to talking to others. Before my writing blogs, I never interacted with anyone, even when others put in the effort I'd just shy away and never reply. But with time, various anons and requests, it helped encourage me to open up more. I hope we can be friends, at least anon friends.

Thank you for your patience when it comes to me replying. It's not something I think I can fix about myself, so the least I could do is extend the same courtesy to others when they're late in replying. I'm glad you understand.

You're the one who sent the Victor request? I just finished it today and tagged it as your anon <3 I hope you like it, I wrote the day before my birthday because I liked the concept so much. Glad to see you're here from my bg3! although I'm surprised we didn't get introduced sooner there, or did you go by a different anon name and you're one of my requesters?

And don't worry, I rarely have the problem of asking getting devoured by the void.... I mean, it happens, but like once or twice a year maybe? I don't get all that many requests or asks on this blog, it's a completely different experience than the busy life I had in sorcerous-caress lmao. It's more chill tho at least, not as empty as the mass effect blog but not as overwhelming as the bg3. I see a lot of the same people frequenting my notes here, it's nice having repeat readers you get used to seeing. It's like the pathologic fandom is one small book club.

You're a very considerate person, it's touching that you don't want me thinking you're ignoring me or anything. I won't, I promise. My only fear is that anons don't get notifications when their asks are answered and mixing that with my unreliable answering timing, there is a big possibility they never see their ask gets answered when they check my blog unless they're here everyday or scroll very far down.

KRHSDJ GO ONION LMAO. I just learned about this meme the other day recently. I have it set to English voice-over, my only knowledge of Russian consists of curse words I picked from my ex while watching her lose at hollow knight. But most of the time I'm listening to music or youtube videos while playing pathologic so I barely heard anything from the English voice-over too. I only mute the videos during the theatre shows at the end of each day.

You like Yuria of Londor too??? We are twins. Geminis are connected telepathically oh my god you have the best test. I adore Yuria and spent my dark souls playthrough simping after her. I mean rip Yoel but my wife comes on top.

Honestly Yulia and its variation is a very beautiful name ngl, you know how most people grow up to fit their names in a self-fullfilling prophecy kind of way? Most Yulias apparently are the most attractive characters in videogames with endless charisma.

I hope your day is amazing too <3

[piratefalls]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

i wasn't directly tagged but i have put off the open tag from @ejunkiet long enough and i'm also bored, so since i'm sure a ton of people have already done this i won't tag anyone, but if you do it i want to see it!

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

an even 40.

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

just shy of 170k, which absolutely blows my mind because it doesn't seem like that's possible.

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

previously hawaii five-0 and teen wolf, but i'm currently attempting to write for red, white and royal blue.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are teen wolf except one, but in order: (Waiting) Until the Sky Falls Down on Me; Today and Every Day; I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away; Man, Interrupted; and it's my (pants) party and i'll cry if i want to. this gives a pretty comprehensive idea of what i'm about lol.

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i'm usually very good about it but they used to build up and i get anxious thinking about responding to all of them lol. but i love responding to them when i can!

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't really do angsty endings? i just went back and checked every ending and if it's not entirely happy it's at least hopeful lmao. i don't think it's in me to do angsty endings.

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i've got a lot of happy endings but i'm gonna have to go with The Comedy (Is That It's Serious) because that fic was really just me dealing with my mom having and then beating cancer and that kind of feels like the happiest ending.

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

i never gotten hate, but i did get someone telling me to make changes now that we knew what happened in canon (i speculated about sibling names) and it was just a weird thing to suggest.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have, but it's not my most favorite thing to do? i have to be in a very specific mood and it has to be necessary. i don't think i can write pwp lol. i don't think i've written smut that wasn't some form of connection/expression of love.

10 - Do you write crossovers?

i don't. i do enjoy a good crossover though!

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

one was posted to goodreads during that whole fiasco and i had it taken down, but man did the comments on that hurt lol. i don't write because i think i'm particularly good at it, i do it for fun. so yeah that kind of sucked but occasionally i was like "yeah that's fair lol"

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge, but i'd love it!

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't! i'd love to someday. i think i do my best when i can collaborate/bounce ideas off someone.

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

i mean in terms of bookmarks, 1000% sterek. firstprince is very much up there. kastle is my all time favorite het ship and i'll never forgive the fact that we didn't get them outright confessing their feelings. never. mcdanno is there too. (i made a lot of friends from the mcdanno fandom.) once upon a time i'd have said destiel but that fandom really tainted that for me.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

hahahahahaha i talk about this one on a semi-regular basis, but i have like 13k of a post-series Person of Interest fic that i'm probably never gonna finish but it's got some really good shit in it. i've thought about reworking it to make it an au for another fandom but it's so deeply reese and finch that i'd have to rewrite every piece of dialogue. and it would require people having seen the show because it won't make any damn sense without it. (i'd consider sharing it though.)

16 - What are your writing strengths?

introspection and character analysis, for sure. i love just kind of flaying a character open and digging into their thoughts and feelings and what motivates them. the most fun. also writing really off the wall shit. it hasn't failed me yet lol.

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

any kind of worldbuilding. i also don't think i'm particularly good at smut but i'm also not using cringe euphemisms (the worst one i've ever read was "chocolate star" and i'll let you imagine what that was describing, if i have to know it so do you) so i'll say my smut is at least passable lol.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean, it's fine? i don't really think about it much except when i have to go all the way down to the notes section to figure out what's being said and then jump back to where i left off. whatever happened to doing that thing where you hover over the phrase and the translation pops up above it?

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

first fandom i ever published for was teen wolf. first attempt at anything was criminal minds. it didn't go well.

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

so going back to 16, the things i had the most fun writing were, for introspection, definitely Written in the Scars on Our Hearts (about all the ways a person can be touched either physically or emotionally), and for off the wall, Got Your Body On My Mind (I Want It Bad) because that venn diagram joke is some of my best work. the comments section was so great lol.

[velnica]

Lv. 58 — A Saint of Song (part 1)

Here we go again! Timeline wise, Ysayle has quelled the brief unrest, but here is a time stretch between apprising Edmont and Aymeric and the latter running off to confront Thordan. This one happens in that stretch.

Oh Sanson if only you knew that Guydelot has been keeping an eye on you this entire time...

I can't believe he's agreeing with Guydelot. The Sanson from two quests ago would have baulked at the possibility lol.

He looks so excited uttering this line but I didn't catch his animation in time RIP.

It's still 50/50 to me whether the Twelveswood Moogles reveal themselves to Sanson because they could sense that he believes in song, or whether he pestered them enough because he believed in song and they gave up hiding. I think the latter is funnier, and that the Moogles were pleasantly surprised that Sanson chased them down because he fervently believes in the power of song that they resolved to help him from that point on.

These elusive denizens of the Black Shroud are skilled in the manipulation of aether, their arcane arts allowing them to remain undetected by all but the most determined or gifted of seekers. In the course of recent events, Eorzeans have also become aware of a second moogle clan dwelling in the Churning Mists of Dravania. — Encyclopædia Eorzea vol 1, page 256

The way he looks so dejected here yet still holding out hope for Guydelot to return... And he knows that Guydelot now also believes in the Ballad so he's keeping that little fact close to him as comfort.

If Guydelot runs away to conceal his feelings, Sanson just keeps advancing, because stopping might mean having to confront the fact that Guydelot isn't there.

In my headcanon I think he does at least say his goodbye to Sylviel at this point, but of course he doesn't linger long. The only way to go from here is onward, else he would be failing the Adders, failing Guydelot and also failing himself.

SURPRISE!!! (not really, this man is kinda Tsundere at this point that he HAS to stay around lol)

Oh babyboy don't worry, big sis is here to knock some sense into your head.

Sylviel absolutely and totally knows what's happening here.

LMAO the way Guydelot petulantly turns around; cheeks aflame, no doubt.

Love it when WoL has been through some fantastical journeys that not even contemporary scholar actually knows what's happening lol. We making history!

I am curious how many times has Guydelot needled Sylviel about his meetings with Sanson by this point, because Sylviel's chastise has this fond exasperation laced through it. He's probably shaking his head at these two youngins who just refuse to confront their feelings head on.

Reminder that Guydelot is canonically a 22 year old country boy; he may have a swagger about him, but he's inexperienced though he might not want to admit it some days. Guydelot eschews formal authority, but he is not above asking for a trusted friend's counsel. I'm sure he's asked Jehantel for many pointers too!

Fjora doesn't like mincing her words, it's what's worked for her and by the Woods she will make it work for this boy.

Stubborn, stubborn little brother...

OC note: Fjora really does latch onto Guydelot because she can see in him something of Cora. Except for the fact that Guydelot is endlessly stubborn while Cora is more go with the flow kind of person.

A towering edifice, creatures beyond the dream of a Gridanian country boy and still Sanson is stuck in his books... But for a different reason this time 🥺

The complete change of reason here to record what he sees is so... IS SO...

THEY BELONG TOGETHER YOUR HONOUR!

It's not enough that Sanson trusts Guydelot's skill, here he practically admits that he wants to hear Guydelot write a song about Anyx Trine is just... my heart...

And now he lets you lead! He's realised that he needs to take a step back, to listen to those who have better ideas about what to do next instead of strong-arming his way into getting information. And guess what, it's working wonders.

Speaking of going up to Sohm Al, it is a goddamn dangerous climb, despite Tioman being gone. I can just imagine Guydelot sticking real close by—to Fjora's exasperation—so that he can safely follow them. And I think I've written this in Breathe In, but I can also see him pause at moments to play his harp, out of earshot, to soothe the dying dragons in Mourn.

Also Fjora would have to have introduced Sanson to Vidofnir in Anyx Trine too. Imagine, meeting dragons! But Guydelot isn't there to share his awe. Oh well, Sanson will just have to record everything in great details so that Guydelot feels like he was there too.

Reminder that the Churning Mists is way up there around that giant floating rock. Moghome is attached to it but the rest of the area (Zenith, etc) are floating islands.

Ugh, the pining...

It's not IF, but WHEN. He is sad that the bard doesn't get to see this view first hand but by the Matron he will try his best to let Guydelot experience it in however small way he could. He's recording this all down specifically for that reason and that reason only; Sanson wants desperately for Guydelot to be here.

For the love of the Matron, Guydelot, JUST TALK TO HIM

You stubborn, pining fools... the both of you...

You're absolutely right, Sanson.

[Continued in Part 2]

[plasma-studios]

out of curiosity, how do you outline/write your utmv fics?

it depends whether it's a longfic or oneshot, or short chapt fic!

for oneshots, I usually just have a gist. for instance:

in a night of passion, the entire outline was just Dream and Cross fuck and it is fluffy. i mean, in the process angst did make it's way into there, but that's the point: in oneshots, it's always better to start off with a gist and let it evolve as it's written for me:D

for short chapt fics, I have a general goal (something like a gist) and a specific goal (anything ranging from a specific line of text or moment that I really want to include); for instance:

for deicide; undetified, my general goal were scenes of Dream accompanying Ink as his body slowly broke down and my specific goal was to make my way up to Ink's last words. everything else in that fic was built up after writing those two goals to give it more fluff and weight:D

for longfics, it's a little more complex! i'll need a main idea! it usually isn't very complex, but it has to be interesting enough:)

after that, it's basically balancing rambling and structuring, and doing it messily is better than never doing it, right?

for instance, Immortals & Empires:

obviously, many things have changed since, but the core idea is the "Empire AU". and, of course, the dreamtale angst at the beginning.

from there, i wrote down the motives of the most important characters (or: the characters I simped for the most and so wanted to get started writing about the quickest:

(i changed writing sites, quotev to google docs so that's why there's a theme change lol)

i never did actually finish writing the motives of the other characters. partially because i was lazy and partially because the writing momentum, yknow?

from there, i did a bit more brainstorming. heres an example of lore in its early stages:

1 did end up in the fic, but the rest didn't, apart from the second part of 3 lol.

I did a bit more brainstorming on the Dreamtale twins, went on to flesh out Ink and Error's strength and weaknesses, the history and background, etc etc-

then, once all that was fleshed out, i started planning the fic chapter by chapter. by then, i had decided on 3 acts + 10 chapters per act, which means I knew i would have 30 chapts; so i typed out Chapter 1-30 and started coming up with a coherent plot!

while i was doing that, I made notes of any sudden ideas I had. that was actually extremely useful and later developed into plot points, both major and minor. i can't actually show a screenshot because it'd be a MAJOR spoiler for the ending lmao.

after i outlined the plot, I began writing, and that was that:)

(if im being honest, some of the plot I outlined just didn't make sense. i had covid-19 when i outlined it lol, so maybe that's why? but geez sometimes I had to go back and correct it when I was writing Act 1 and 2; but it all turned out great in the endx) )

while I was writing, I definitely lost motivation sometimes because of burnout. when that happened, i went to spotify; started thinking AU ideas, and if all else was lost, i changed the font i was using in google docs.

im serious. it does wonders, i swear.

ANYWAY- I hope I answered your question, anon! thank you for the ask:]

[worthless-weight-in-gold]

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Jim is like, a "fun criminal." Like the type of criminal you can root for as the protagonist in movies, a robin hood type or even just someone who acts in their own self-interest but has important lines he won't cross. Jim is theatrical as hell but he is a fucking horror show of a man and his organization is beyond fucked up. Sure, he personally doesn't often get his hands dirty with straight-up violence, but he waves his hand to enact severe trauma to however many people he needs to and is emotionally manipulative and abusive to basically everyone he meets.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Jim is not able to be saved after university, and even before then it's extremely unlikely. By this I mean, after Jim chooses to wipe himself from all records the day before graduation and fully disappear it's the equivalent of him throwing away all chance of redemption or a different path and becoming committed to running on just revenge and trauma. Before that, he was definitely set on a bad path -- he's a product of both nature and nurture -- but he still has like a vague hope or consideration of maybe being less shitty and not feeling so awful all the time. But he was always destined to be a piece of shit at some point, he uses his trauma as an excuse it didn't actually make him shitty it just gave him something to blame it on, but there's a part of him that wants more from life that isn't squashed until he dips from uni.

A USELESS HEADCANON

He always hops in the shower before the water has heated up, and he always lets out a devastated sound because he hates cold water. He just literally always forgets he has to wait for it to heat up.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

Triggers he has: He has two that are both words: the nickname "Jimmy" and him being referred to as "gay" specifically (he only calls himself either when actively triggered/suicidal, otherwise he tends to just avoid the nickname & reclaim slurs because he's more comfortable with them).

Triggers when writing with him: Most of the general ones, tbh. Sexual/physical/emotional abuse, lgbtphobia, racism, self harm, suicide attempts/suicidal thoughts, torture, murder, kidnapping, listen he's a horrific person who makes people do horrific things and has had horrific things happen to him. He's like the personification of continuing the cycle of abuse.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

I like writing a character who's just a relentlessly toxic shitty person. Like no, he does not have a heart of gold underneath it all, he's just awful. He knows how to present himself as this flashy showboaty theatrical man who's actually just a sad, traumatized boy underneath it all but when you go underneath it all again he's just selfish and self-obsessed and hateful and that's why he'll never get better and never improve.

Fuck this dude, no rights. He really drives plots though LMAO and adds a lot of drama and tension to stories.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

He is not romance-able in the normal sense. Like he is a chronic cheater and an emotionally abusive partner. No muse can fix him or be the exception he treats right, even if it's set during university. He is also ! homosexual ! and there are not exceptions to that either because I've had some muns try to force ships with him when the muse they write is a woman and it's been super uncomfy.

tagged: the wonderful @wynterlanding !!

tagging: @mutatedangels @consvlting @sonderiings @rach8 @hxllblazer @godstrayed @manneatcr

[flydotnet]

Noli Me Tangere

WHUMPTOBER 2023, DAY 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

I wrote like the two first paragraphs while at work like a month ago, and then didn't touch it until today. Wow, past Fly, very useful of you! Well, at least, I had the idea on a silver plater. Skipping the brainstorming part was nice ngl.

It didn't mean I didn't struggle with it though lmao, because I did. For some reason, my brain's been somewhere else altogether today, so stringing thoughts interesting enough for this fic has been hard for no reason whatsoever. I hope tomorrow will go better!

Anyway, I love those two's relationship so much, man, I wish more people would write them more - especially platonically, there's little of that out there, sad.

For some reason, the quote prompt + "touch aversion" felt like such a Nitta combo to me, I had to slap him onto those prompts so bad. Maybe that's why I ended up sticking to my guns harder than I thought I would!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Noli Me Tangere

Summary: Urabe knows something's up with his teammate, but he's still got to find out why - no matter what, because he's the captain and he intends on upholding that, thank you very much. Unfortunately, Nitta is just as stubborn as he is, and isn't about to let him see what's so ugly with him, apparently.

Fandom: Captain Tsubasa (it's canon-compliant too!)

Word Count: 1.5K words

AO3 version available here.

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Hanji has always tried to be a good senpai, he really has. And you know what? He really thinks he isn’t half-bad at that. He has the pseudo-big bro vibes that being one requires, for some reason (most likely his tenure as a captain, twice over) and he has a sense of responsibilities he carries to this day as a player, future tofu shop heir and national winner in his own right (kind of).

So why the hell does his junior refuse to talk to him about anything ever that isn’t bragging rights about his shooting ability?

Nitta’s always been a bit difficult to handle, to be honest. He always rushes ahead without thinking much and relies solely on being fast, good at what he does, and maybe his bonds with most of the team. He didn’t worry about it nearly enough when they were in middle school, but now that age has sobered the both of them, Hanji’s starting to grow somewhat concerned of the brazen attitude.

Maybe that’s what growing into a brother figure means. It’s starting to see untreated bruises on his junior’s arms and legs, risen cuts and dark rings not even exams could justify, and the barely contained urge to do something about it. He’s now regretting keep his instincts in check, because it’s not helped anything; damn, it may have made things worse, actually, right under his watch.

However, Nitta is the sort of guy you don’t ask about this sort of things. Not only is he not going to reply, he’s also just going to say “whatever” and continue as if having so many untreated small injuries wasn’t going to worry people. Even Nakazawa’s warm kindness and Nishimoto’s sharp eyes (not to mention the patience they both have) haven’t gotten him to open up about anything – well, at least, it means it’s not personal.

That’s the only silver lining with this situation that feels like a heavy balloon that’s slowly been swelling in the background, under their eyes yet still somewhat out of view. The lack of care hasn’t gotten any better, because of course it didn’t. Why would it have? If Nitta has issues with self-care or… worse, God forbid, then not doing anything about it wouldn’t change anything, let alone make things better.

Whatever, this was then and now is now, and Hanji’s tired of playing sitting duck with a guy who can’t even admit to feeling sick on a good day.

Today’s worse than what came before it because, to put it as bluntly as one could: Nitta looks like he shouldn’t be nowhere near a school. He didn’t look good earlier this week, swaying on his feet whenever he wasn’t leaning on anything, head heavy on his neck and a lot – and he means, a lot – of throat clearing. Even his running felt slow, sluggish even, and that should’ve been enough to cause a strategic meeting to know how to deal with the situation. (They didn’t end up doing anything).

Even now, he finds his old pal zoning out near the clubroom, sometimes coming in and out of there, all without any semblance of a reason why he’d do that. He decides now’s a better time than never – and corners his own friend in the clubroom, having entrusted Kishida and the managers to keep everyone else out. The guy must know something’s going on, considering the tension in his shoulders.

“Hey, Nitta, what’s wrong?” Hanji asks, as nonchalant as he usually comes.

“Leave me alone,” he spits back out almost immediately.

Maybe Hanji’s not a good actor, (he really isn’t, actually), but still…

“That’s a weird way to reply to that.”

“I’m fine. Leave me alone, Captain.”

The mere use of that name rings an alarming bell inside Hanji. How long ago was it when Nitta stopped calling him that, for obvious reasons?

“You’re sure about that? You’ve not been lookin’ good these past few days, man.” He stops for a moment, for once calculating a move (it doesn’t come naturally). “Everything’s fine at home?”

Now that he has time to look at him, it’s obvious Nitta isn’t fine: his skin’s ashen, his eyes are just unfocused enough for that to be creepy, and good God is everything about him slow and achy just to look at. It’s a wonder how he’s not in fucking bed. In fact, it’s almost amazing how Hanji has never seen someone want to lie down so badly yet refuse to do so this stubbornly. He really is stupid at times.

“Yeah, it’s all good,” Nitta finally replies after a long pause. “Why?”

Hanji steps forward, but he gets greeted by a step backward. No dice, no surprise.

“You don’t look like it, honestly. If you’re sick, you should be at home, Nitta. Not here practicing.”

“I’m fine, I tell you!” He proceeds to cough, very harshly, into his fist.

“You don’t sound like it either.” Hanji puffs his chest in hopes that a leader will be more convincing. “Just… This isn’t against you, y’know. I’m just worried.”

He tries to once more get closer, and when he does, he uses a moment of lull in Nitta’s reflexes to try and make sure he doesn’t have a fever – but he ducks under and, back against the wall, glares right at him with nothing short of feral eyes.

“Don’t touch me!!” He screeches, once again devolving in coughing.

It’s bad, really bad; and the fact Hanji gets to rub his back as the fit drags on is nothing short of a sign nothing’s right.

“Are you okay?” He asks as soon as it ends.

Nitta actually has to take a moment to recover his breath, and when it does, it’s taken him a visible amount of effort. Poor guy’s spent.

“Kinda,” he answers with a voice much hoarser than before. “Okay, maybe I don’t. I feel like shit, senpai.”

Hanji gets his hands further, as he no longer needs to cross a boundary.

“Why would you to class in such a state anyway?”

His junior’s gaze suddenly sharpens, as if turned on.

“I need to show everyone I’m reliable, and a reliable player’s always here for the team,” he replies without delay.

It explains a lot, considering how stubborn and adamant on being a good successor Nitta has always been. The sentiment, on the other hand, and quite hypocritically so on his end, is scary. If he can put an end to it before it turns into the shitshows guys like Tsubasa, Misaki and… well, Hanji himself, he realizes. Goddammit, he’s been a terrible role model all along, hasn’t he?

“I admire the sentiment, really, but it doesn’t really work that way. You’re just a burden when you’re sick.” Shit phrasing. “Uh, what I mean to say is, when you’re sick, all you need to do is to rest and not worry about the team. That’s what being responsible and reliable also is, you need to know your limits. You catch me?”

“I getcha, yeah.”

There’s actual relief on Nitta’s shoulders, who’ve dropped far lower than before, and his entire posture has relaxed immensely – which is a relief to Hanji as well, of course.

Still, and unfortunately, there’s… one last question he needs to ask, before he can let his friend go and get the rest he deserves.

“Also, your parents let you go to school in that state?”

“They’re, uh… they’re not at home right now,” Nitta replies with too low of a voice, closer to a confession than anything else.

Oh, fuck, right. His parents are always on the move. How did he forget that?

“What the…? Do you need a place to crash at? My pop and mom wouldn’t mind.”

“N-no, it’s fine…” He sighs. “Actually, I… dunno. I just wanna sleep…”

The boundary’s been set, Hanji, don’t breach it again. Even if it’s tempting.

“Do you want a place to sleep, then?”

“Maybe… Shit, I… just dunno, man…”

Nitta rubs his eyes before coughing again, which means it’s time for a good, final decision; and Hanji knows just want to do, even if it won’t please his reluctant comrade, it’ll have to do. It’s the right thing for him, after all.

“Okay, now that we’ve gotten that over with, I’m asking Sugimoto to drop you at the infirmary and—”

“Captain, no, I—”

“—and you won’t put up a fight. You’re doing bad as is.”

Nitta deflates, the sickly red hue of his cheeks growing just slightly brighter.

“Unless you want another escort?”

“N-no, Sugimoto’s… fine, I guess,” he gulps, eyes darting aside. “I just don’t wanna… go there.”

An endeared sigh escapes him. Aw…

“Nobody wants to see the infirmary, Nitta. It’s just for your own good, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know, I know…”

“I’m sorry, Urabe, I’m… I’m s’pposed to know better, right?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Just don’t come back here until you’re healthy enough again.”

“Gotcha.”

Slowly, without a single touch, he walks his junior out of the clubroom and, soon enough, in the trusted hands of their youngest manager.

For some reason, he has the feeling this isn’t going to go as smoothly as he wishes it would…