#honestly? craig x dadsona too

[punkdeaf]

dream daddy otps

robert x damien mat x craig joseph x MY FOOT UP HIS ASS

[ademonandherbentley]

Copacetic

Post Craig’s Good Ending. Smashley accepts an invite to a cul-de-sac get together, eager to finally meet the person who’s taken her vacated spot in Craig’s heart. Craig x Dadsona ft. Hugo x Damien. ~2k.

A/N: The mildest of spoilers for Craig’s route. Entirely inspired by @mythicalmodernity‘s theories about college!Craig-MC-Ashley.

D/N = Dadsona’s Name

Joseph’s yard was already bustling by the time Ashley pulled up at the end of the drive. As soon as she climbed out of the car Briar and Hazel came bounding up to her; each was gabbling over the other as they jumped into her arms and she tried not to drop them.

“Woah woah, girls! Come on, you know I’m not your father, I can’t bench press you both.”

They let go, and she knelt down to pull them into a bear hug. It had barely been two weeks since she’d seen them last, but they were still in that stage where they were growing almost before her eyes.

“Now girls, mom’s had a long drive and needs to take advantage of Mr. Christansen’s excellent grillmanship, but after that you gotta catch me up on all the gossip, yeah?”

“Ernest’s dad and Lucien’s dad have been going on dates!” Hazel burst out. Clearly she’d been waiting a long time to break that news to someone new.

Briar hit her sister on the arm, “Shhh, we’re not supposed to know about that!”

“But they’re so obvious about it!” Hazel said indignantly. Ashley scanned the crowd and spotted Hugo and Damien by the food table. They were, indeed, cosied up rather more intimately than she was used to seeing from them.

She grinned and ruffled Hazel’s hair, “If they tell me I’ll act surprised. Maybe you should too, huh? Now where’s your dad and your sister? I should say hi before I dive into the snacks.”

Briar pointed over the opposite side of the yard where Craig was deep in conversation with another man. They were laughing about something, but even from a distance Ashley could see something in Craig’s smile that went deeper than some funny joke.

She pulled her girls in close, “So is that him? Your dad’s new friend?”

“He’s his boyfriend,” said Hazel.

“Not yet he isn’t. They’re just hanging out together,” Briar said.

Hazel scoffed, “Yeah. That’s what dad says.“

"Ah, you know girls,” Ashley said, “You’ll find when you get older sometimes the difference between friend and boyfriend isn’t as obvious as you once thought.”

“Amanda says she saw them kissing,” Hazel offered.

Briar wrinkled her nose, “Eeeewww!”

Ashley laughed and stood back up, “Go on girls; run along and we can talk properly later.”

They twins dashed off across the yard and Ashley made a beeline for Craig, saying hellos and exchanging pleasantries as she went. It had been almost two decades since she’d last seen D/N. God, where had the time gone? It felt like not even last year she’d been running rings around frat boys and watching her boyfriend eat his body-weight in tacos. Now here they all were – responsible adults and parents.

Craig spotted her as she drew closer and waved her over with a grin. D/N turned to her with a slightly less confident smile.

“Smashley! How you doing?” Craig pulled her in for a one-armed hug and she felt herself squish against his rock-solid chest. She’d never gone for the jock types back in college but man, Craig worked it.

“I’m good bro. And how’s my little darling?” She reached out and took River from Craig’s other arm. River gurgled happily. “Oh, you just get bigger ever day don’t you? Your gonna take after your daddy and be huge when you grow up!”

River giggled. God, she could stare at this kid for hours. “You’re not allowed to grow up, you hear me? I couldn’t stop your sisters, but your going to stay my little bean forever. Deal?” She took Rivers tiny hand and shook it. There – no take backs.

Craig cleared his throat, “So Ashley, you uh… you remember D/N right?”

Ashley finally turned her attention away from River. “Course I do. It’s been too long, man, how’ve you been?” She landed a friendly punch on his arm. He held his ground, but he had the look of a hedgehog caught in an unexpected blast of noise. She bit back a smile. Poor kid had never been great with people.

“I’ve been good,” he smiled, recovering slightly, “what about you? I hear the business is really taking off.”

“We were talking about signing D/N on as a model for us,” Craig told her, “Figure we’d pull in more customers if we went down the dad bod angle.”

Ashley barked a laugh, “You gonna let him insult you like that, bro?”

D/N chuckled, “I mean he’s not wrong.”

“See?” Craig said, “Self-awareness. Something you always sucked at.”

“Nothing wrong with a little bit of healthy denial, my dude.”

“Yeah, denial. Not delusion.” Craig reached out to poke her belly and she swatted his hand away. “How do you think I got custody of the girls? Who knows what you’d fill their heads with.”

Ashley looked at D/N, “Hope he’s not this rude to you.”

D/N’s look of bewildered panic was starting to creep back in. She decided to take pity on him, and handed River back to Craig with a kiss to her forehead, “Go check on the girls for me?”

Craig nodded and left, and Ashley took D/N’s elbow. “Walk with me dude.”

They walked around the side of the house and through the passage to the back garden. Everyone was still socializing out front so they had the Christiansen’s beautifully tended flowerbeds to themselves.

Ashley was the first to break the silence. “Do you think they hire a gardener or is this their handiwork?”

“It’s the kind of thing Joseph would be good at,” D/N said, “doesn’t seem Mary’s style. But… well, she’s surprised me before.”

“She pull the drunken floozy act on you too, huh?”

D/N looked at her in surprise, “You too?”

“Believe it bro.”

“When?”

“Couple of years back, when Craig and the girls first moved here. Poor woman, she seems to have a lot going on.”

“Hmm.” D/N fell silent. Ashley couldn’t tell if it was the silence of someone with nothing to say, or someone who didn’t know how to start. She observed him out of the corner of her eye: he was older (weren’t they all?) but she could still see the guy who had impulsively stolen a goldfish for Craig when they were teenagers.

He cleared his throat, “So… how are… things? With you?”

She stopped walking, and turned him round to fully face her, “D/N, things don’t need to be weird between us ‘cause you’re dating my ex-husband.”

His brow furrowed, “Really? Seems like that’s exactly the kind of thing two people who haven’t seen each other since college would wanna be weird about.”

“If things were different with me and Craig, maybe. What’s he told you about our situation?”

“He’s used the word copacetic,” D/N said.

Ashley chuckled, “He’s a smart boy these days.”

“No kidding.”

“He wasn’t lying to make you fell better or anything like that. We really are fine.”

“Are you sure?” The frown is back, “Craig said you only divorced last year.”

“Officially,” Ashley said, “but it was one of those, you know? Relationship was over way before the marriage. Honestly no one was more surprised than us when we had River.”

D/N smiled wryly, “Last throws of a dying relationship, huh?”

"Pretty much. But in the end it’s all about the girls, isn’t it? River’s too young to remember any of this, but Hazel and Briar… They’re the priority.”

“Of course. They’re lucky to have two such loving parents.”

Ashley felt herself blush. “Thanks. We do our best. And hey, the more the merrier, right?”

She clapped D/N on the back and he squeaked in surprise.

“Uh,” he stammered, “we’re, we’re not really – I mean – It… it’s only been a few weeks. And Craig’s been trying to focus more on himself for once.”

Ashley nodded thoughtfully, “I thought he looked more relaxed. Good for him. And you, though I dunno how you talked him into it. Lord knows I never could.” To tell the truth she hadn’t been much better when they were married. The girls came before everything, but occasionally work had come before Craig.

D/N said, “I think a missing sleeping bag played a part somehow.”

Ashley roared with laughter. “That sly little shit. Don’t tell me, he hikes you out into the middle of nowhere and then it’s all 'woah looks like you forgot your sleeping bag bro! Guess we’ll have to snuggle for warmth bro! Oh gosh bro, is that my tongue in your mouth?’”

“He do that to you too?” D/N sounded scandalized, but amusement was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Nah, but it is one of the oldest in the book.” She carried on laughing. “Our boy’s never been great at just saying how he feels, has he? Took him months to work up the guts to ask me out.”

“It is pretty obvious in hindsight.” He allowed himself a small, fond smile.

“He ever totally accidentally spill water on himself, forcing him to take his shirt off in front of you?”

“No. I’ll be on my guard for it.”

“Good man.”

They both calmed themselves as they wandered round the far end of the garden. Ashley coughed and looked over at D/N.

“Seriously, man. I’ve spoken to Craig a couple of times over the past few weeks. He’s happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. Briar and Hazel have noticed it too. The two of you might not be serious yet, but… If Craig has any say in it then you will be.”

D/N blushed and smiled. “Obviously Craig is his own person, but… I’m sure the Smashley Seal of Approval would mean a lot to him.”

“Well you got it. It’s been a long time man, but you were a great friend to Craig back in the day. I’ve not forgotten that. All I ask is you be good to him like that again. And you be good to the girls.”

“Oh, I think the girls are more than a match for me.”

“Damn straight. I raise 'em hardy, you know.”

D/N laughed, then became serious. “I… I like Craig a lot. I just want him to be happy. Whatever he needs to find that.”

“Then you and me are gonna be just fine.” Ashley held out her fist. D/N hesitated, then reached out and returned the fistbump with a grin.

Up the other end of the garden the other guests were milling in from the yard and forming a loose scrum around the grill. The smell of cooking meat tinged with lighter fluid reached them, and Ashley’s stomach rumbled as if abruptly remembering the long drive.

Craig came into view chatting to a small ginger child, River on one hip. He glanced over and spotted them, and a second later a radiant smile was spilling across his face as he beckoned D/N over. Something almost like wistfulness curled in Ashley’s chest. He’d never looked at her quite like that – which, on reflection, should perhaps have been their first clue.

“Come on,” she looped an arm around D/N, “let’s go get our burger on. Oh, and I meant to ask, how’s Amanda? She settling in to college alright?”

“She and a group of friends crashed a fancy art event,” D/N said, “they ate a whole bunch of food and tried to pass themselves off as critics before getting kicked out.”

“She takes after her father then?”

“Yes, which unfortunately means I have no authority to tell her off for anything she might do.”

“Could you tell her off for anything anyway? That’s not my experience of teenagers.”

He’s shrugged in acknowledgment, “I can at least say that for a while I tried.”

“Ha! Whatever makes you happy. So aside from being a public nuisance how’s she doing? Craig said she was a photography major?”

D/N told her all about Amanda’s college exploits as they headed back up the garden. Talking about his daughter seemed to light something up in him – the last of his awkwardness was smothered by his evident pride, and Ashley smiled to herself. Her family was in good hands. He might not even need the 'hurt them and I’ll kill you’ talk, though she was sure that once she had a few whiskeys in her he’d be getting it anyway.

They reached the others, and she let D/N peel off and rejoin Craig while she helped herself to a burger and tracked down Briar and Hazel. She found them on the grass with Mat’s kid (Carmensita? Or something? Man, she really needed to get all these names straight) and sat with them.

“So, girls, mom’s ready to hear all the gossip. And then I wanna know about school and softball and everything else, yeah?”

“Is D/N dad’s boyfriend then?” asked Hazel.

“Oh, it’s ’D/N’ is it? Whatever happened to 'Amanda’s Dad’?”

“He’s told us to call him that,” Briar insisted. Hazel nodded.

“Does he tell all the kids to call him that?”

They both hesitated. Then Briar nodded reluctantly.

“He’s doesn’t kiss the other dads though.”

Ashley stifled a laugh, “I certainly hope not. Well, listen girls, you certainly didn’t hear it from me, but I think dad would very much like D/N to be his boyfriend.”

“I knew it!” Briar exclaimed.

“Shut up, Bri, we all knew it.”

“Now now, girls. Are you going to fill me in on the gossip or not?”

That distracted them sufficiently, and Ashley allowed herself to turn all her focus to her daughters.

D/N would be part of the family in no time.

[thewhitehairedwitchgirl]

Blanket Fort

Another dadsona x Craig fic, this time featuring @avenoire‘s adorable dad: Tony!

“I’m home!” Craig called as he walked into the house that evening. As he was shrugging off his jacket, he was surprised when no one came rushing to greet him. The twins were home from school, River was probably asleep upstairs, and Amanda had come to spend winter-break with the family, so imagine his confusion when his arms weren't instantly bombarded by three excited girls and one affectionate boyfriend. Confused, Craig glanced down at the floor and saw that their snow-boots were there. Where was everyone then? “Girls? Tony?”

He heard muffled giggles and someone loudly shushing them. “In here!” A muffled voice called out. Curious and a little amused, Craig followed the sounds to the living room.

The room had been transformed into what looked like a giant blanket-fort. Chairs had been dragged into place to act as supports for the colourful mish-mash of blankets and duvets that now took up more than half of the floor Peeking out from the side closest to him were Briar and Hazel. “Hey dad!” They grinned cheekily at him.

“Hey you two…and three…” he snorted when Amanda’s head popped out as well. “What’s all this?”

Amanda wrapped her arms around the twins’ shoulders conspiratorially. “We’ve kidnapped dad and we’re not going to let him go until you agree to our demands! Right girls?”

“Right!”

On another side of the blanket fort, Tony’s messy curls and crooked glasses appeared. His bright green eyes shone with happiness. “Hey Craig! Welcome home!”

God his boyfriend was so fucking cute. Coughing, Craig managed to school his features into something that didn’t look too sappy and love-struck. “Hey dude. So uh,” Craig placed his hands on his hips. “Tell me, what exactly are these demands?”

“Um…” the twins glanced at each other and then looked at Amanda expectantly. She looked just as stumped. “We’ll get back to you on that,” Briar rolled her eyes and shimmied herself back into the fort. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled. “Da-ad, you have to stay inside the fort!” “You’ve been kidnapped, remember?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fiiiine. Can I at least kiss my boyfriend?”

Craig laughed when Hazel and Amanda pulled matching faces of disgust. “Ew, no!” Hazel stuck out her tongue. “Honestly you are the worst hostage ever!”

Grumbling playfully under his breath about the lack of respect in this household, Tony wriggled back under the fort much to his boyfriend’s amusement. Craig rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen to grab a protein shake. It was chocolate-flavoured. His entire shelf contained mostly that flavour because Tony had once confessed that he liked kissing Craig when his mouth tasted like chocolate.

By the time he’d grabbed his drink and returned to the room, the three girls had reappeared and all three looked comically serious. “Our terms are simple: one movie after dinner, no bedtime for the week, and a dog – preferably a Labrador or a husky but we’re honestly not picky and we’d love any,” Amanda stated. Hazel whispered something in her ear and she nodded seriously. “We would also accept a pug.”

“It’s so we can put it in Hazel’s carrier when she gets too big for it,” Hazel informed him earnestly.

“Right,” Craig arched an eyebrow. He took a long, long sip from his cup and then he set it aside on the mantelpiece. Then he stretched upwards, working out the kinks in his arms and back while the kids watched him and giggled to each other. All of a sudden, he lunged for the fort. “Gotcha!”

Hazel and Amanda shrieked with surprised laughter as he pulled them out from under the blankets and hefted them under his superior and muscular arms. Briar burst into laughter and ran after her father to help; she jumped up and tried to put him in a choke-hold but just ended up dangling ineffectively from his shoulders.

“DAD, HELP US!” Amanda squealed between bouts of laughter.

Tony poked his head out and regarded his daughter with a mockingly solemn expression. “I would, my dear daughter, but you see I’ve been kidnapped and I’m working on being a better hostage.”

“Don’t worry dude, I’ll be back to rescue you once I put these little terrors away!”

“My hero,” he pretended to swoon and batted his eyelashes dramatically. “I’ll have to think of a way to reward you.”

“Listen, I’m being held like a sack of flour right now,” Amanda interrupted them loudly. “Please don’t compound the issue by flirting in front of us. There are children present.”

Later, Craig mouthed at him and winked. He smirked when Tony squeaked and his face went red. His boyfriend scurried back into the fort. Definitely later.

[orange8886]

Muscles

(Dadsona x Hugo Vega fic because Hugo deserves more content 💖)

(AO3 LINK)

So here’s the thing – I’ve always been slim. I was a slim kid, then a slim teenager, then a slim adult. Always slim. And that means that in the muscles department, well… I’m not that great. Sure, I’ve put on some muscles in my late adolescence and a bit more in my adulthood. So I’m not super slim. But still somewhat slim. The point is, I’m not muscular, ok? And I’ve never been bothered by it, to be honest. Actually, I generally like my body.

But! Here comes… I started dating Hugo Vega, Amanda’s ex-teacher. Yeah, I went there. And then the dating grew into a relationship. And I’m very happy with that development. I really like the man. Well, I wouldn’t have started the relationship if I didn’t really like him but the point is – I want this to work out. And I want him to be as happy with me as I’m happy with him.

So here’s the thing - I remembered something about Hugo’s Dadbook profile a couple of weeks ago and since then it’s been eating at me. I’m talking about the “Turn Ons” section. It literally says “muscles”.

You see my problem now, right? The man’s turn on is muscles and I don’t have impressive ones. So, here comes the surprise - I’ve started working out. Well, I started jogging because of Craig. And it’s been good for my legs because they’re more toned now. But the upper body’s a bit neglected. Okay, very neglected.

So I started working out. I just want to point out that this is not one of those “change yourself because your significant other wants you to change” things, but rather a “change a bit in hope it’ll make your significant other happy because you love them so much and you want to make them happy”.

Did I say… love…?

Shit, I’m in too deep now…

Anyway… ahem, back to working out. It’s horrible! It’s tough and exhausting and I don’t recommend it to anyone! And I can’t even tell if there’s a result. I like to think there is because I’m in so much pain but that’s just wishful thinking probably?

The workout itself is horrible but the walk home from the gym is the worst. And there’s not a single bench. Can you believe this? Not a single damn bench! I try not to push myself to my limits in the gym because then I’ll just lie down on the ground and not care. Just sleep on the ground in the middle of the sidewalk.

So, anyway, I’m now walking home from the gym, sweaty and disgusting because I’d rather shower at home than at the communal showers in the gym. It’s just the way I am, ok! And who knew a person can sweat so much? And the smell, oh, the smell! Don’t get me started! I hope I won’t meet anyone I know.

I wish I haven’t said that because of course I’ll meet someone I know! Not just anyone! It’s Hugo, he’s waving at me from across the street. And now he’s crossing the street! I’m usually so good at avoiding people and I feel so betrayed by myself now.

And here comes Hugo. He’s smiling at me. I love his smile. Damn I’m really in too deep.

“Hi!” He beams at me and goes for a kiss and I can’t not kiss him but I’m also very sweaty, smelly, and probably look like shit. But I kiss him back and it’s great as usual. He doesn’t seem grossed out. Or maybe he’s just good at hiding it. He’s probably not, though.

“Have you been to the gym? I didn’t peg you for a gym enthusiast.” He says amused.

“It’s a recent development.” I say, and for once it’s a smooth reply. I congratulate myself.

“Oh? Did Craig finally managed to convert you to his healthy but exhausting lifestyle?”

“Eh, not exactly, no.”

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ME?!? HUGO JUST GAVE YOU THE PERFECT EXCUSE THAT WOULDN’T INVOLVE WEIRD EXPLANATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR AND YOU JUST IGNORED IT???

But I feel compelled to tell the truth. Hugo has that impact on me – I feel so safe I just have to share and share, instead of bottling it up and hiding it away. It’s relieving and at the same time I’m having a mild panic attack every time. I’m such a mess.

So, the truth…

“I… actually Craig doesn’t have much to do with it. He helped me with my workout routine and gives me tips but he’s not the reason I started.”

“Then what prompted this? I was under the impressing that you don’t really like going to the gym.” He says honestly and I make a face which he seems to notice because he looks anxious. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way! It’s just that you told me you were wondering how anyone can be as enthusiastic about working out as Craig is, so I just assumed…” he trailed weakly.

It is adorable – he is blushing and adjusting his glasses nervously. I have to bite my lip as not to smile. But I better put him out of his misery.

“It’s fine, Hugo, really. And you’re right - I’m not a gym person in the slightest. And the reason I… actually, do you remember what you wrote in your Dadbook profile?” I ask and it takes him by surprise. He looks a little lost and it’s so cute! I mean… Okay, fine, I just really like him and everything he does is adorable so you’ll have to bear with me!

“I remember, vaguely. Which part are you referring to? And what does my Dadbook profile have to do with you going to the gym?”

“The “Turn Ons” part.” I blurt out, not really answering his second question. Well, at least it’s in the open now.

Hugo looks confused for a few moments the realization hits him. He looks uneasy now. Good job, Me, you’ve distressed your boyfriend. I honestly can’t tell which one of us is more uncomfortable now.

“I don’t-“ Hugo starts. “It’s just a social media profile. It’s not like it’s my only turn on.” He says that a little louder and immediately looks around to see if anyone’s noticed. There’s no one around. “I mean, it was just a thing I picked. It was actually more of an allude to wrestling. Not that muscles are not a turn on, but I don’t necessary want my partner to be very muscular. I meant to say that I don’t choose my partners based on that one criteria so I don’t want you to think that you have to go to the gym when you obviously don’t like it just because of something I wrote on Dadbook years ago.” Hugo finishes breathlessly.

I’m floored, speechless. He looks so genuine and concerned. I’ve chosen right again.

It seems my silence hasn’t done Hugo any favours because he continues to be agitated.

“I mean, you can continue going to the gym if you want but I don’t want you to do something you don’t like just becau-“

I kiss him. I can’t help it. And I know I’m still sticky with sweat and smell horrible but I just can’t help winding my arms around his neck and kissing him like my life depends on it. He’s clearly surprised for a second but he returns the kiss enthusiastically. I feel his body relaxing. Ah, it’s bliss.

When we finally part, Hugo is beaming at me again. I feel so blessed.

“I have to say that I’m really flattered. But I do like you just the way you are.” He says and a second later I see his cheeks reddening again and he looks away.

He’s not telling me something and now I just must know. Last time he behaved like this, I found out he liked wrestling. So I wonder what will be this time. We’re still embracing so I squeeze his shoulders a little and give him an encouraging smile.

“What is it, Hugo? Whatever it is, you can tell me.” I purr. Yes, I still got it.

He blushes even more. “I… well, since you’re after my turn ons… it was really hot when you let me show you some of the wrestling moves. I mean, I enjoyed that a lot. Probably more than I should have. I hoped you wouldn’t notice exactly how much I enjoyed it.”

Oh. My. God.

“Honestly, I enjoyed it more than I probably should have as well.” I admit with a grin.

He finally focuses his eyes on mine again and the stare is so intense. I love it. His hold on my waist tightens just a little bit and I get the best idea I’ve had all week.

“So, since I obviously don’t mind you showing me all of your wrestling moves, how about you come to my house and show me a selected few, hm?”

Damn, I’m smooth. It’s clearly my day. And I haven’t seen Hugo so enthusiastic since we went to the Power Slam. Then I remember I’m still sweaty and smelly.

“After I take a shower though!”

“You know, we can help the environment and shower together.” He then laughs at his bad pick up line.

But it’s super effective so I take his hand in mine and drag him towards my house. All of a sudden I don’t feel exhausted at all. It’s a miracle. I tell you!