#honestly wish the nat 1 was words too lol

[dropoutconfessions]

The only thing stopping me from buying the dice is I fucking hate that they don't just say 20. I hate the hell yeah and the hoot growl

I'm also poor but that's not a factor here

-

[superfluouskeys]

Author Interview

Thank you @thevikingwoman for the tag!!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

100 💪😔

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

oh god. oh god. sdkjnfjknfknjf. 1,107,586

3. what fandoms do you write for?

tbh I really don't feel I write for specific fandoms, I move around as the wind takes me

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Songbird -- Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent/Aurora) || 39k words maleficent finds the princess before the curse takes effect.

The Prisoner -- Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent/Aurora) || 250k words Do Not Read The Prisoner.

New Disaster -- Portal (Chell/GLaDOS) || 9.8k words post-portal 2 chell-focused character journey.

Begin to Hope -- Sleeping Beauty || Maleficent/Aurora || 16k words more trauma processing thinly disguised as a coffee shop au.

total control -- Sleeping Beauty || Maleficent/Aurora || 5.7k words god this one makes me cringe but ppl still read it sometimes. modern au. smut i am too embarrassed to reread.

5. do you respond to comments?

Except for recently when I got way too behind for various reasons, I respond to all comments unless they're like rude or something LOL!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm I had to think about this for a bit LOL bc I think I tend to favor, like, melancholy but hopeful endings. I honestly wish I could write sadder endings--there's one fic in particular that just absolutely eviscerated me and I'd love to be able to replicate that. But I tend to get invested in longer fics and want to make the ending Worth It you know, so I think you have to pull off a particular flavor of tragedy for that to be the case.

Anyway, maybe stop-time? It's uhhhhh an Incredibles 2 Helen Parr/Evelyn Deavor fic LOL Not sure how I feel abt the ending in retrospect actually but I'd say it's the least positive.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

See above LOL, this is also hard because I think I always like there to be a little bit of a twinge in my endings! Like everything's okay but there's still a little lingering pain/uncertainty/etc. I honestly don't know on this one LOL, I think maybe The Prisoner has the happiest ending?? Because it was so long, I really wanted to resolve as many threads as possible. But now I'm ruining it with scorched earth LOL!

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a few interesting messages over the years LOL, the real ones will remember.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I went on an Improvement Journey a couple of years ago and now I feel my smut writing is wayyyyy better--anything before that makes me cringe out of this mortal plane. I like writing character-focused and story-driven smut.

(battling my demons rn part of me wants to write malora smut just so the only malora smut i ever wrote isn't TERRIBLE AND CRINGE but also i do not want to write malora smut do you see my problem)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Full crossovers are tbh too much effort for me LOL--I will sometimes write, like, crossover-inspired things. The Chance You Take (DA2/Meredith/Hawke) is extremely Carol-coded, for example.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I have had a couple of ideas just straight-up plagiarized from private conversations which made me pretty pissed LOL.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I used to be so awkward and just avoid answering when people asked me, but now I just refuse outright.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm like wayyyyyyy too much of a crazy control freak for that LOL!

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

Ohhhhhh come on you can't ask me that LOL, it changes all the time.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As I mentioned recently, most of my old WIPs are pretty much abandoned at this point. Never say never, but I just don't think I'll ever muster enough interest or enjoyment to make finishing them worthwhile for me.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Natural dialogue, slightly agonizing yearning, generally describing like, specific Emotional States TM.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Hmmmm I still think I'm working on my pacing in certain contexts, and on making stronger narrative choices/not pulling punches. I think my narrative can meander a little and I can repeat myself a bit if I don't edit enough. I also notice sometimes that because I love working within limited pov I don't always explain, like, the character's thought process well enough? So what she's thinking sometimes seems like a leap of logic looking at it from an outside perspective. But overall I think I'm a very strong writer.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

LOL I think just indicate that it's in another language unless it's like just a word or short phrase and you either explain what it means in-story or can guess from context. There are probably some very specific circumstances where you might want a small section of dialogue in another language to create a certain effect, but other than that I think it's a no.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

I mean we really don't have to unearth my whole fandom history here. Let's say it was a musical and leave it at that :)

20. favourite fic you've written?

Oh idk, I think I'll always have a soft spot for New Disaster, and more recently I really like everybody's fool (DA2, hawke/aveline) -- but it's hard to choose an absolute favorite!!!

TAG TIMEEEE: @thepapernautilus @yourlocaldisneyvillain @eemamminy-art @quinnthebard @delirious-comfort annnd i am once again so bad at thinking of fellow writers

[szopenhauer]

Has anybody ever told you that you’re too young to be in love? from what I remember that could happen

Did you learn anything from the last BIG mistake you made? no comment...

Do you have a favorite brand of shoes?   nah

Do you like rollercoasters with big drops? I don’t do rollercoasters 

Do you have any inside jokes with your parents? yes

Did you ever want a pony for a gift as a kid? nope

Do you know who your mom’s favorite singer is?   she doesn’t really have one because she doesn’t listen to music tbh except what I blast 

Have you ever gone to a school that made you wear uniforms?   middle school

Have you ever tried to surf? nooo

Do you want to learn? absolutely not

Did you pick out the furniture in your bedroom? I wish...

Yes or no: Apple pie? yes

Yes or no: Candy apples?   no

Are you a heavy sleeper?   not anymore

Honestly, have you ever re-gifted something? What was it? plenty of stuff

How many months away is your birthday? 1-2

Is the closet in your bedroom a walk-in closet? I’d love to have one like this :3

Do you enjoy cooking? I do not

Which one of your family members do you wish you could see more often? grandma... and aunt Alice

Have you ever (accidentally or not) set off a car alarm? just by walking by 

Do you call it sitting “criss-cross” or “Indian-style”? criss-cross is less offensive

Do you have dimples when you smile?   I do indeed

Do you find graveyards scary? Jack kinda does

Have you ever carved anything into a tree? don’t do that :(

Do you give or get advice more often? give

If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? no idea, I don’t drink coffee

If you have a pet, have they ever embarrassed you in public or in front of friends or family members? What happened? sigh...

Do you leave the house every single day? almost

Would you rather spend the day at the beach, or a day in the snow in the mountains? beach

Do you prefer tops that are plain, or ones with patterns/logos/slogans? plain are lame

Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? it’s complicated

What book do you wish they’d make into a film or TV series? few of my favorites 

Do you prefer zip-up or overheard hoodies? overheard, I hate zippers in clothes

When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? recently, my partner[s] apartment, no occasion

Would you ever be interested in seeing a live magic show? I already did but I don’t remember anything 

What’s your favourite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? I liked interesting facts no matter of the period, I hated dates and names

Do you still use or carry cash, or do you pay for everything via card? cash forever

Are there any TV shows that remind you of your grandparents for some reason? Moda na sukces głównie

Do you know how to tie a tie without looking it up? Did you have tie in school (uniform)? maybe, we didn’t

Do you prefer having carpets or hardwood floors? hardwood

When was the last time you took a bath? Is this something you do often or do you prefer taking showers? last night and gonna have one now

What’s your opinion on clothes for dogs? If you have a dog, have you ever bought any clothing items for them? cute but my dog doesn’t wear any

What will you be doing once you finish this survey? What were you doing before you started taking it? I will go to sleep, I’m also playing Choices 

When was the last time you played a game of Monopoly? Did you play until the end or did everyone get fed up and start arguing? this year, we don’t argue about it which is weird because we often argue in general

Do you have anything fun or exciting planned for tomorrow? I hope I will meet with Slytherin system

Don’t you love it when you meet a dog or cat and they instantly love you, especially when the owner says “they normally hate strangers!”? awww sounds like Nat don’t ya think? :P

Would you rather do a wordsearch or a crossword? Word Search but sudoku is cooler

Do you prefer multi coloured or plain white fairy lights? good question

Do you have a favourite TV detective (eg. Sherlock, Poirot)?  Poirot <3  and Don Matteo

Do you hear any animals right now? not even kotszop 

Is your trashcan full? it’s small so it’s almost always full

Are you hungry? am not

Is it rainy where you’re at right now? not tonight

Is your dishwasher full? we don’t own a dishwasher

Do you like to wear gloves? not really

Are you wearing anything pink right now? nothing

What is the creepiest bug you’ve ever saw? maggots are

Do you chew on your lip? might

Are you afraid of needles? I’m not

Do you like Batman? mhm

Can you see a star shape in the room you are in? I can

Do you use hand sanitizer? obvi

Are you in any kind of club or group that is trying to save animals? I’ve been signing petitions 

Where were you two hours after you got up, and what were you doing there? dentist...

Have you ever played fetch with a dog? it didn’t listen XD

Do you use Netflix? if I only had an account...

Do you play games on your computer? when I’m in the mood

Did you have anything bad happen to you today? ...

Do you use the term “lol” if you don’t have anything to say? not when I have nothing to say wtf

Should you be sleeping right now instead of taking this survey? yup :x

Do you currently have any blemishes on your face? yep

Do you use smileys often in text convos? maybe

Would you ever consider being a cannibal? hell no

Did you forget something important in the past week? yeah

Are the floors in your house creaky? there are creaky places and I love it

Do you fear death? sorta

Is your mouth dry? it’s complicated

Do you have any scars from an animal? weirdly no

When was the last time it snowed where you live? Do you like snowy weather or is it just a pain? this week, it’s pain!

9 - When was the last time you got off work early? What was the reason? I don’t have a job

What time did you wake up this morning? Did you get out of bed right away? 8 and had to

Do you ever watch movies or TV shows that require you to read subtitles? why not?

When was the last time you had a haircut? When was the last time you dyed your hair (if you ever have)? Nat is gonna kill me for this bangs, I dyed my hair over 5 years ago

Do you prefer wearing tight-fitting or loose-fitting clothes? loose

What was the last piece of good news you received? Was it expected? pfft

What time of year do you start listening to Christmas music? after Halloween

Are there any names you can think of that just go well together? where should I start...

Do you enjoy museums? whatever

Do you have a username you use for everything? Or does it change each site? it changes but not for EACH

Do you have any disorders or disabilities? what I DON’T have...

Do you ever watch How To videos? in my whole life like a few

Did you have a tree house when you were a kid? If so, did you ever fall from it? I wanted to but never did

Do you enjoy designing things? Anything? I sure do

Do you know what a raincheck at stores is? I know

Can you learn the lyrics of a song by ear, or do you have to search them up? I never remember even the titles...

Do you like the name Amy? Amy Anya :(

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Are you close to that person at all? I called my dad but he couldn’t talk so... he’s my friend

Do you enjoy watching bloopers or outtakes from TV shows?  could

Have you ever dreamed of owning your own shop? What kind of thing would you like to sell? antiques and such

Are you a twin? If not, would you ever want to be a twin? If you are a twin, do you ever wish you weren’t? ;)

Would you ever want to go and visit the moon? it’s bought by Tom Cruise, no thx

Does anything on your body hurt or ache right now? shut up...

When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? Was there was a specific reason for that? constantly

When was the last time you had a cold? With everything going on in the news, did you worry that it was COVID? my dad had a cold

Do you think people should have to pass a test in order to own pets? it’s not the worst idea

When was the last time you fell asleep/had a nap during the day? Is this something that happens often? it happens very rarely

so how are you today? bad

have you ever been to London? in the past life lmfao

do you enjoy going to the library? heh...

what’s the last movie you watched? we rewatched Asterix and Obelix 

[im-just-trying-to-survive-man]

ok so i feel like telling the world my bias list (kpop) for no reason and i was a little scared to but oh well lol

im gonna do this in parts. this list is my bias’ in boygroups pt.1

soo yeah if you wanna see some beautiful asian men you can keep reading lol

kinda turned out long oop

imma do nct on another post bc thats fucking loonngggg

1. kim hongjoong; stage name: hongjoong (leader of ateez, rapper, lyricist, producer and composer (i forget if those are the same thing) )

king of the lesbians

personally i think hes SOME type of gay but, y’know, you do you baby (’good lil boy’ is the song he wrote on their new album akjsdl)

prince of mullets in kpop (king is minghao from seventeen)

so?? pretty???

he paints his nails for the polished man campaign!!! (this was before the group became ambassadors.) v socially aware as well

his voice is very high for a rapper but i rly love it

wanna hear what he thinks of atinys?? (the fandom) listen to ‘aurora’

korean big minion 

very very good at english, despite what he says

is so caring for his ‘children’ ugh such an amazing leader

also a little brat sometimes but we dont talk about it

a MAN

fuck gender roles

5′7 skirt guy you’ve probably heard of in the kpop tiktok community

the official campaign pic:

2. han jisung; stage name: han (main rapper of stray kids, lead vocalist, producer and composer, lyricist, ult bias uwu)

heres the tea

this man literally saved my life

he has been through so much and i relate to that. seeing that he made it through the worst gave me hope.

his music and lyrics just speak to me (wanna see me cry? send me the song ‘19′, its written by him)

on to the happier things

his s q u i r r e l   c h e e k s

hes honestly so pleasing to look at ugh

vocals????? fricking great???? listen to ‘hellevator’ and ‘district 9′ for his vocals

jEoGiYa NoOnA HoKsI nAmJaChInGu IsSeOyO (’wow’ 3RACHA)

part of 3RACHA, a rap group between him and two other members

his american name is peter and he loves nat geo wild and cheesecakes and honestly if thats not amazing idk what is

lived in malaysia??? for 6 years???? lovin the melanin y’all

THE FUNNIIEST MAN ALIVE Y’ALL WAIT PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO IDK WHY BUT ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

3. im changkyun; stage name: I.M. (lead rapper of monsta x, sub-vocalist, maknae (the youngest), producer and composer)

fam im WHIPPED for this man like honestly i dont like subbing or sex in general lol ace things but i’d let him r a i l me

lived in america for 3 years and israel for 4; speaks fluent english and its SEXY

rapping skills??? on point???? both in english and korean ugh

LOOK AT HIM HIS DIMPLES AND HIS FACE AND UGH

is one of those people that does n o t like to be touched but then he’ll kiss your cheek out of nowhere

babie

VERY SOCIALLY AWARE LIKE HE SAID FUCK TOXIC MASCULINITY AND MISOGYNY 

confident in his own skin and super open about it

“For IM, ‘Wearing a harness is just to express our song concept. Showing the audience what we want to show is the most important thing. We’re not ashamed. We’ve done a lot of sexual items, like harnesses and chains. We’re comfortable.’ “ 

“But, for argument’s sake, where does your own sense of masculinity come from? IM pauses for a long moment. ‘Having a dick,’ he says bluntly, sipping coffee as his bandmates’ jaws drop and shocked laughter ripples around the table.”

that interview is here 

kinky lil bitch

i can go on and on about this man but im just gonna stop there

i lied he has tattoos (one on his wrist [ :): ] and the one on the nape of his neck, it reads “the one who wants to wear the crown must bear the crown”)

i like this picture bc its his hands and theyre pretty and fuck gender roles from a kpop idol

thats enough of him 

4. kim wonpil; stage name: wonpil (pianist, synthesizer, and keyboardist in day6, lyricist, vocalist, also a a dj and mc for a podcast)

Y’ALL LOOK AT HIM UGH

was the maknae but then dowoon came along and now hes not lol

Unbothered™

honestly like hes such a good pianist and is really great on the keys

is really good at making song lyrics out of thin air

like, he can hear the sentence “i really want chicken rn but i can’t have it im on a diet” and he’ll get “i crave your taste, but there is a wall i built myself blocking you from my love” like literally

im pretty sure he wrote the chorus for their song ‘zombie’

honestly bruh his vocals are so good

like pls go listen to ‘emergency’ and ‘congratulations’ (theres an english version for that song alsjdk)

guys hes just a big babie honestly

so pretty to look at omg

HES SO FUNNY AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT 

“i dont really care what my spouse looks like or what gender they are, as long as we’re happy and they love me” (wish i could find that photoset)

5. kim namjoon: stage name: RM (leader of bts, main rapper, sub-vocalist, lyricist, producer and composer)

literally the reason im into kpop, so thank you namjoon

a 5′11 babie, tbh

i remember finding out he had his own like, mixtape (’mono.’) and iT WAS SO GOOD AND IT STILL IS KAJHDJ

an amazing rapper and leader

can sing and i do not CARE what anyone says

so as you can see by now i kinda of have a type (except wonpil, idk wtf is going on there with me biasing him laksjk #no regrets)

anyway yeah he was the first kpop boy i found, and it was on his birthday

so every year on september 11th 11:50 p.m., i start i planting a tree in my backyard (bc then its on his birthday in america and korea lakajs so quirky i know) also bc its the day i started listening to kpop so its an anniversary for me lol. 

mOoNcHiLd

very very psychological

also very inspiring and loving (to the fans)

doesn’t really show affection, hes better with words than actions, and i really relate to that

dimples aGAIN

and last but not least for this list bc its already so frickin long

6. byun baekhyun; stage name: baekhyun (main dancer of exo, main singer, sub rapper, pianist, actor)

he’s so talented???? and amazing???? and overall just kinda perfect??????

AMAZING FUCKING VOCALS LIKE Y’ALL GO GO GO GO GOGOOG OG LISTEN TO HIS GROUPS SONG ‘ONE (MONSTER AND INFINITY)′ BECAUSE THAT SHIT SLAPS UGH

AND LIKE GROWL??? BRO????? MY VOCAL CORDS SNAPPED

dated another idol in the past but personally i think he’s a little *hand goes limp* if you know what i mean

my sister (4) calls him bacon he said it in an interview one time and it stuck to her

chesticles

MONSTER ERA UGH GOT ME DEAADDDD

is a solo artist too!!!!!!! go listen to his albums!!!! theyre really good!!!!

hes so frickin funny omg like i can laugh at with him all day

understands english but refuses to speak it

honestly kokobop baek was amazing idc what anyone says

is in like 3 different groups damn (like two of them are sub-units of his group and the other one is superm lol)

pls go watch the ‘men on a mission’ episodes with exo bc hes so fucking hilarious i will never get over it

a clown ass bitch that is always ready to square tf up a caring and v nice person that wont fight anyone ever

AN AMAZING ACTOR OMMGGGG BABIE GOT SKILLS

can also tapdance

lots of video games

very very very very very loud when playing video games

another man i endlessly love

well. if you made it this far, congrats!!! and thanks!!! i honestly dont care if no one sees this lol i just kinda wanted to do it, so, yeah lol. theres still more groups (superm, nct (seperate post), seventeen, vixx, pentagon, the rose, annnd oneus)then like idk if i’ll do a soloist one, so yeah. this kinda gives me something to do its one big infodump and im sorry lmao. yeah, love y’all !!!

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x13 (300th) Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giu)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

“Dad’s on a hunting trip- 

[shuts laptop]

Giu: It’s already a no from me

uuugh ok [opens laptop]

“-and he hasn’t been home in a few days “

Zee: That’s when I fell in love

Kat : I fell in love at “easy tiger”

Nat: He looks like a demon

Giu: he does

sign under the register: your baby daddy sitting in jail? Sell your gold and get bail. 

wow.

S: we are looking for the good stuff.

me searching for men

Kat : I need that wad of money, And the man attached to it

Giu: SAM

Zee : So done

Nat: Dean's done

Kat : That was so Jared lol

D.”No you didn’t”

Kat: Oh shit Dean. All sexy business

Giu: They not happy

Kat : FIRE

Giu: NOT THE HAIR NOT THE HAIR

[pauses video] TUMMY! [presses play again]

Giu: HE’S A BIG BOY

Zee : Turn his back to dean?

Nat&Kat: They always talk too much

Nat: he stole my line

Nat: PLAGIARISM

Nat: don't put that in

Giu: I’m gonna put that in

Nat: no

The smoke coming out the gun tho. I love that gun.

Zee : Put that down dean

Giu: Dean don’t touch things

In what goddamn dystopian fantasy a theater in 2019 show Beetlejuice? because I wanna live there.

Giu: I want that jacket. Doesn’t it look like the family business jacket?

Zee : I want that car,with everything in it

Giu: ...AND ON IT

Nat: I want that man

Giu: lol it’s like the Winchesters are some sort of the mean girls of town. 

The Campbell brothers are scary. They have two shotguns and a strange silver blade. 

I hear the tall one hair's insured for $. 

I hear the other one has a tinder account. His favorite music can be heard from miles before coming into town.

One time, they met god. And he stayed at their house. One time, they killed Hitler. It was awesome.

Kat : I WANT THE MEN

-” The Campbell brothers “  [sobs]

D:”Make it double”

Oh look the Family Business stuff again

S:” John Wayne Gacy cigar box” 

uh that’s not good. 

“Jack and Cass are out with Jules and her crew. When they’re back they can help us cataloging “ [already excited] 

D:” aWeSoME”

- “Where did they even came from? them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat” 

I love how before the boy Eliot talked about hearing stuff from the trunk of the car and I did not even bat an eye, because.....yeah...probably happened more than once.

Giu&Kat: Dumb bambi look

- Max:” It doesn’t mean they kidnapped bigfoot or whatever “

that could have happened too .

How did I miss all this gay vibes between the girls before?

Giu: anyway that is unrealistic, those girls would be drooling after those two.

Nat: Nah, they're too old for them

me at myself editing the commentary: they lesbian, bitch .

Nat: Max is trouble, isn't she

Kat: Don’t touch my baby’s car teen bitch

Zee : Why is sam so hot here?

Nat: BABY

- D;” No,no, no, no”

Zee : Oh the bitch did

Giu: THEY DED

Giu: DON T MOVE YESSIR

-S *thinks of the kids*

D: “Swear to God if anything happens to that car-” *thinks murder*

Giu: Meanwhile dean is having panic attacks

Nat&Giu&Kat: I don't wanna die. lol

Giu: TRIPLE PLAGIARISM

Kat: Stop Omg

Nat: We should stop

Zee : Look at those puppy eyes

- “So you want me to give you an underage girl’s address?” 

Nat: hahahahahahhahahahahaha i like that woman

D:”Marta, how’s that grandson of yours?”

“if you could help us out I would, I would really appreciate it”

“Please”

Zee : I’d melt

Kat: THAT TAP

Nat: I mean...helloooooo

Giu: There goes her values

Nat: I would tell him everything and more

Zee : Giuls the hand gif. Please and thank you

- you want my address too?

Kat: He’s putting the moves

Kat: Their lips are extra pink

-Yeah but like...I would have melt with Sam too honestly.

SKIP DAY!  aaaah the memories, we had skip days once a month.

Giu: OH NO

Zee : They dumb

Giu: i wouldn’t touch that creepy fuck teddy bears

Giu: can I slap some sense in those bitches

Giu: GACY FUCK NO

Nat: Baby, please tell me you're not hurt

Kat: BABY BABY

D: “ FBI everybody out” 

me : ....arrest me.

Giu: Sam: no fuck clown

Kat: Serial killer clown

Nat: Sammy, I think you need to get away

Kat: Best and worst thing ever

- D:” ‘Cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns” 

eh same .

Zee : look how happy he is

D:” Sam....today”

Kat: HURRRY UP SAMMEH

D: “....Hey! “

Nat: Dean Bean

Kat: Adorable bean

Zee: We’re damn good at why we do

Nat: They're going all dad on them

Kat: It’s hot

- S:” You sure don’t wanna call Mom here? or Cass?”

 D:” No because if it works , great, if not, why get their hopes up?”

Zee : Hello

Nat: JOHN

Kat: SHIT SHIT. SHIT Kicking their asses lol

Giu: My eyes are sweating

Nat: I got Negan vibes lol

? : “Don’t you move” 

[chills]

Zee : That’s another Daddy

Giu: HE LOOKS GOOD

J: “What in the hell”

J: “Sammy, aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

Nat: Palo Alto. Oh god.

Giu: Good god [sobs]

J: “What happened to you?”  when did you stretch like that

Nat: It's 2003

Kat: It’s very difficult

J:”You saved the world?”

Zee : More than once

Giu: We died....more than once

Zee : Look at that precious face

D:”I think he’d be real happy to know you are finally here”

- Glad they mentioned Henry, I miss him.

S:” We are legacies because of you”

J.” I just wish that I had been there to see it”

Nat: Awww the look on Sammy

Nat: It fucking breaks my heart alright

D:”Non of this would have happened without you”

J:” It’s good, it’s fine. I went out taking out yellow eyes. That was the point. Get the thing that killed Mom”

Giu: im not ready for what.’s coming

Zee : Me neither

Kat: So much sobbing

Nat: What are you talking about. I'm not ready for the whole damn episode

Giu: STOP WITH THE MUSIC

Zee : Brace yourselves

- J [desperately softly]:” ...Mary?”

Giu: OH NO FUCKING JDM

Nat: Oh god NO

Zee : Oh fuck you

Giu: FUCK MY LIFE. FREAKING ACTING SKILLS.

Nat: FUCK OFF

Zee : IM SCREAMING HERE

Nat: THE BOYS...lol

D:” I’m freaking out”

No Dean, I’m freaking out. And I already know, looking at Sam face, what’s coming.

Nat: "I wanted this man"

D:” I wanted this since I was 4 years old”

I CAN T

Zee: One family dinner

Nat: NO DEAN BEAN PLEASE Sammy is right

Kat: He is but it hurts. So much

Nat: TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME

oH....Sammy and Daddy time. Can I skip?

Look at John fucking face!! he’s already so proud.

S:” Dean and I tried to make that once” [nervous laughter]

[John’s face falls] 

Zee : Here come regrets

J:”i...I remember “

Sam’s like...”you do?”

J: “ I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I?”

The noise and expression and breathing Jared choose to made here is worth more than any words

Nat: GOD, SAM YOU PRECIOUS BEAN

S:” no, that’s okay”

J:”No, it’s not”

[me bathing into the holy light of jesus] yeeeees thank you 

Sam looks so uncomfortable.

J: “You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left” 

ooooh John is trying so hard tho.

S: “..Dad...” [pauses like he can’t believe he can say that again]

me hitting myself : stop doing this to yourself bitch.

S: “ yeah...you know what? you did some messed up things”

S: “When I think about you....and I think about you a lot..[voice cracks]”

S:”I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye”

Giu: fuck NOPE I’M OUT

Kat: *drags you back*

Giu: *fights it*

Zee: I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Kat: I can’t i can’t I can’t

Giu: JARED STOP

Nat: FUCK JARED WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD

Nat: JARED STAHP

Kat: JARED IS INCREDIBLE

J: “Sam....[touches him]”

S: [gets almost scared when John touches him]

and now a change of camera so you can see more hurt

Nat: FUCK THIS I'M GOING OUT WITH YOU GIULS

Kat: I’ll tie you down

Zee: Can this fucking music just stop

Giu: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME MERCY? it’s 8:40am it’s too early for this

Kat: FUCK YOU JARED PADALECKI

Giu: STOP CRYIG

Giu: ahahahaahahhahahahaahah imma have a heart attack

Nat: SHIT NO FUCK THIS

Giu: Im forgetting english and spelling

J: “Son...I am so sorry”

Zee: That’s enough

Nat: YOU FOUGHT FOR US THAT'S ENOUGH

Giu: CLOSURE

Nat: what's english i'll start to groan in german soon

Zee: I’ll swear in Greek

Giu: I’m already gesturing in italian anyway

S:”Want some company?”

Nat: I get the booze you get the food, I want that bumper sticker

Nat: Why doesn't he remember?What the fuck is happening

Giu: The surnaaaame

Kat: YOU’LL SEE THE SHIT IT HAPPENING

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Blue steel

Nat: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giu: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Never forget

Nat: WANNA BE TED TALK

Nat: PROFESSOR JARED

Giu: GOD BLESS KALE (Misha wrote that)

Kat: THE TURTLENECK

hot take: that’s Misha’s turtle neck

Nat: THE GLASSES

D:”No, no , it gets worse”

TEDTalk!Sam is an empty shell. I hate it.

Kat: THE SLICKED BACK HAIR

Giu: Lotta beheadings

Zee : Can Jared stop being hotter in this ep?

D:”Well, I’m cool but you are  ugh”

Giu: I saw enough doctor who to know what is Sam talking about.

S:” If all is different, then what else changed”

Giu: OH.

Zee : Oh no

Nat: Zach is also ugh

Giu: NO GO AWAY

Giu: HEY BABE

- GUESS WHO NEVER FOUGHT IN HELL AND RAISED SOME SALTY ASS FROM PERDITION???

Z:”Earth ...where you are always stepping in something”

I mean, he’s not wrong

Zee: Constantine

Nat&Zee: I don't understand that reference

Giu: SDEFAFANSBAKWBLENDP

Zee : Control yourself woman

D:”How are we gonna tell Dad?”

S: “How are we gonna tell Mom”

Nat: Why are the teens everywhere are they running out of extras? I can be an extra.... for love scenes

Zee : I can be a fly in the wall

Z:”I need to know who’s been messing with time?” like...I mess with time, that’s my thing, who’s stealing my job

Giu: SQUINTY BOY

Z:”This town is always been a little muddy for us”

Z:” he...murders you all”

Kat: Ugh I want to stab Zach in the face

oh jfc Cass is a fucking murder machine,kinda like the apocalypse world NO 

Nat: Zach, just shut the fuck up, will ya

Zee: I’m an angel of the lord AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zee : GIULS IM DEAD

Giu: IS IT BAD THAT IM AROUSED

Kat: WINGS

Giu: FUCK

Zee: THE ONLY LOGICAL OUTCOME.  Babe how dare you ?

D:”Cass? “

C: who’s this bright soul , oh no he’s hot.

D:”Cass, you know us”

C: I WISH.

C: “I don’t know you”

Kat: I DONT KNOW YOU

Nat: Ow...a stab in the heart

Giu: NO

Kat : Breaking my heart

- Oh look you can pin point the exact moment HIS heart breaks.

D:” Cass, don’t”

Giu: LAGO DI GARDA!!

Nat: THE GARDA LAKE? IS THAT AN EXPRESSION?

Giu: No , it’s where i live.

- The satisfaction of seeing Sam kill Zach. Sam enjoying it.

Kat: YAS SAMMEH

Nat: Cas, come on!

- I love that Sam is holding the blade to cut and not stab.

ok ok...honestly I’m enjoying this ok? in the sense that I missed seeing Castiel so strong and powerful , and this is as it should be. He’s an angel , a soldier, with eons of wars behind, he was a captain ffs, the Winchester, they can be as strong as you want but they are human. Even Zach was stronger than them, he was just stupid to fall for Sam trick.

Giu: PLEASE DON’T KILL THEM

Giu: please don’t kill Cass, please don’t kill Cass.

Kat: Dudes the bloopers from this scene will be epic

Nat: I SWEAR IF THEY DON'T SHOW IT

Giu: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

D:”Cass, Cass, stop it”

....bitch HE HESITATED , Cass hesitated , he just kept Dean there when he could have just snaps his neck with a bit of pressure.

Zee : Sammy to the rescue

Giu: OH THANK GOD

Us: We want Bamf Castiel back!

Writers: OK

Us: NOT LIKE THIS

Zee: Who needs a heart?

oh look, those plates have the same decorations as the cups we saw in older eps. WHY DO I KNOW THAT. 

D:”Egghead”

Nat: me vs. your mom that's not even a choice

Giu: JOHN

Zee : Mary is showing emotion

Nat: I know who i would chose

yeah ok...I would choose this John tho, not the one we started in 2005 .

Zee : Me too

Kat: I almost don’t hate her. She’s hurting so bad. But everything else would be fucked

M:” Sam I can’t”

me too Mary, me too.

Nat: that's the thing. she's hurting more about her husband than her boys

Kat: I said almost

-J:” I never meant for this”

Kat: No son

J: “My fight. It was supposed to end with me. With Yellow eyes”

Giu: AGAIN

J:” But now you- you are a grown man and I’m incredibly proud of you”

Zee : Look how proud

Nat&Giu: JOHN, STAY

Kat: He’s waited so long to hear hat

Nat: LET SAM BE INTERNET FAMOUS

J:” I guess that I hoped, eventually,you would...get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”

Zee&Giu : I have a family

Nat&Kat: WE EAT

Nat: A man after my taste

Giu: AND MY POOR HEART

Zee : Too much silence

Kat: #awkward

Nat: #sad

Giu: #The last supper

Zee : Stahp

Kat: SHUT UP BITCH

J:” We can be grateful for this time we have together.”

Kat:  #AMEN

Nat: sounds like AYE MEN

Giu: ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

Kat: Fucking Bob Seger

Giu: THEY DESERVE ALL OF THIS,ALL OF IT . MY BABIES

Kat: I WANNA KNOW THE CONVO

Nat: #DOMESTIC LIFE

S: “It doesn’t feel right to have all of this and have to throw it away and I know we have to.” S:” He just goes back to...to..being Dad”

-Oh honey 

Giu: Sam is panicking

Nat: Who would save the world tho

S:” I think it would be nice”

D:” yeah? I used to think that too.”

D:”For the longest time I blamed Dad. I mean I blamed Mom too,you know. I was angry”

D: “Why don’t send him further back , and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world?

oh...OH Dean is woke

D:” But there’s the problem. Who does that makes us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I’ve got to be honest. I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.”

D:”I’m good with who I am,and I’m good with who you are”

Zee : Does anybody else experiencing chest pain??

Nat: What's a chest. I can't feel anything below my mouth

Giu: what s a mouth

Kat: #too old for this shit

D:”Cause our life, they are ours”

Kat: BAWLING

Kat: THIS FUCKING MUSIC

M: “I hate this”

Giu: WE HATE THIS

Zee&Kat: My girl

-NOOOOOO

J:”I miss you so damn much”

Nat: #make it stop

Nat: fuck this

Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO I

Giu: STOP IT STOOOOP

Nat: JARED CONTROL YOUR FACE

Kat: THEY BOTH NEED TO

Zee : Fuck this flips table

-What a soft hug omg I can’t. Why is John so soft , whyyyyyy.

Giu: I WANNA DIE

Nat: FUCK THIS

-Dean’s eyes are dead , he’s trying to be emotionless and I can’t deal with it.

Also Sam keeps throwing glances at Dean and it breaks me.

John looking at his sons is PAAAAIN.

J:” You two. You take care of each other”

S: “We always do”

Can I say that I expected some “Yes Sir” here and there and I’m so glad that there were none? Like...yes they grow up and they are their own men and I’m so damn glad. I would have hated if I heard them saying that.

Kat: GOOD TO SEE YOU DAD

Dean said that so softly I can’t

Nat: OMG

Giu: JARED FUCK

Zee : I’m gonna faint

Nat&Kat: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS

Giu: JDM FUCK U TOO

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU

This ....Jared you fucking broke me here, you just ...can’t go and act like this and expect me to still be breathing .

Giu: JAY DON’T

Goddammit Dean still looks like he doesn’t wan’t to break but ...I can see it, your lips are shaking damn you Jensen.

Oh no here comes the hug of pain.

J:”I love you both so much”

why is Sam crying so much this season , JARED !

-oH NO DEAN SAID IT....DEAN SAID I LOVE YOU , I CAN’T , 911 HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

Nat: HEY, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONE

I’m so sick of seeing tears ok? And seeing John so emotional??? NAAAAAH FUCK THAT, I saw those tears falling . FUCK U

NOT THE WINK 

Zee : Can they all fuck the fuck off???

J:”Sammy...”

Kat: JENSEN FUCK YOU JARED FUCK YOU JDM FUCK YOU

Nat: TAKE MARY WITH YOU

Giu: dean your face

Kat: JENSEN BROKE ME

Dean looked like a little scared kid there and he just broke me once again.

Nat: THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND THEY KNOW IT THE WRITERS KNOW IT  I HATE THIS SO MUCH

Kat: Yeah but that one look. Fuck

ok Now....I wanted to make this gif so badly because it haunted me. This....This is when Sam break the pearl. The sound looks like it hit Dean like a bullet or something and I just ....look at him it looks like he wants to scream, his lips seems like they are spelling a soundless ‘NO’ or he just let go, because he wasn’t breathing until the sound ....I need a minute, I’m gonna throw up my breakfast. 

Bye John , I’ll miss you fiercely

aaaaand Dean looks like he’s dead again.

Nat: HEY GIULS Lebanon walk.

Nat I’m dead what do you want me to do? Call me if there is a ghost walk of Lebanon-

Also YAAAAAAS THOSE TWO ARE THE CUTEST

Nat&Kat&Giu: CAS

Sam looks relieved

Kat: OF FUCK THIS

Nat: Look at that phone

Giu: OMG NO

Nat&Zee&Kat: One hell of a dream

Kat: So much plagiarism

Zee : This music NEEDS to stop

Nat: NO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Can we have a “fuck” count ?

Nat: aWWWW...jACK

Nat: WTF JACK

Giu: Jack honey dont

Kat: WHAT ARE THE DOING TO BABY BEAN

Zee: March 7???

Nat: Yeah no

Writers: heya! we are gonna give you some sweet stuff for the 300th, y’all gonna hate it so much.

after credits brainstorm

Nat: SO GET THIS Did John remember? Did John know that the boys are happy and he spends the last of his days thinking about how he could get rid of Michael? Giu: What what . Oh fuck I sure hope so Nat: He saw that the boys were happy, that Mary came back. That's all he wanted . That's why it wasn't hard for him to let go and make the deal. Zee: I soooooo don’t need this rn Giu: im on board. Because he said that he had the strangest dream right? So since their life are fucked up anyway , what hurt could it make to look that shit up? Nat: He will remember but it's more like a vivid dream and he will do anything to fight for them so that's why it wasn't hard for him at all to save Dean, even though he can't defeat YED. Because he knows that his boys will save the world.  And still live. with an angel and lucifer's child.

.

.I have no word , and no answer of how I’m feeling right now.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie    @mariekoukie6661    @dragontamerm     @closetspngirl  @rainflowermoon   @mattiecat     @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2  @jacks-word-of-the-day   @4evamc    @dammitsammy   @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride  @destielhoneybee  @castiellover20 

[rontra]

ANONYMOUS ASKED:

i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)

REPLY:

YES!!!!

umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....

also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD

mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE

LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting

https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees

it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and  stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so  i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The  Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is  good, anyway!!!!)  

Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)

Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie

Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim

krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it

honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age

also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!

-

USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.

the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,

anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.

Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,

KINZOS

OLDEST

SON

DISAPPEARS

!!!!!

Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....

obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)

Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.

basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”

all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.

Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........

(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)

mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.

during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)

(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)

Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.

i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny

(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)

now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.

-

AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance

and this one

so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.

(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)

they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.

natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.

and its VERY hot

anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....

and then they.....fall...in l

there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.

DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING

BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!

and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month

[fandomfanfics12]

We Are A Family-part 22

Title: We Are A Family. Pairings: Steve x tony, Peter x Wade, Nat x Clint, Sam x Bucky. Part: 22/? Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slowburn. Summary: When Nat comes into the avengers tower with baby Peter Parker, the avengers didn’t know what they were getting themselves into. But now that Peter is here,Steve and Tony both feel protective over him. It doesn’t help that Peter hates everyone other than Steve and tony. But as Steve and tony raise Peter, they start to fall for one another. Will this superfamily work out or will it all turn to hell? A/N: omg i updated without a six month gap? who am i? lol hope you guys enjoy this part, finally i get to include spideypool! this fic is turning out to be so much longer than i had originally anticipated but i enjoy writing it. hope you’re having a good week!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21

“I slept with Bucky.” It was like Tony’s brain short-circuited, every argument died on his lips.

“no you didn’t.” the words flew out of his mouth, an instantaneous response. Because Steve wouldn’t, he’d know that that would be the potential thing to truly end their relationship.

“Tony-“

“you didn’t, you wouldn’t have.” Tony ran a hand through his hair, his heart was pounding in his chest, something was wrong. Steve wouldn’t have, there was something wrong with Steve.

“Tony-“ but Tony cut him off again.

“because you love me, you chose me, you married me-“

“Maybe I shouldn’t have! Maybe this life with you and Peter was a mistake!” Steve snapped and Tony flinched. This didn’t make any sense, Tony couldn’t understand it.

“but in our vows you said you couldn’t imagine a life where you and I aren’t together.” Tony’s voice was so small, he was suddenly so tired of fighting.

“I know.”

“so why are you trying to make that the life we live in? why are you so determined to break this marriage?” Tony demanded, trying to stay calm. But Steve looked just fine, the guilt was quickly fading. He looked like a stone statue.

Steve could feel the guilt disappearing, he felt empty. He wanted to feel this guilt, wanted to fight for this marriage, wanted to hold Tony and tell his husband how much he loved him. Steve opened his mouth, ready to tell Tony how he truly felt, but it was like his mind hit a brick wall.

“People change Tony.”

“So you want to be with Bucky now?” No! Steve choked on the word, he looked down at the floor, not able to speak at all. It was like he was trapped in his own mind.

“Where’s Peter?” Steve asked instead, the only words he could manage.

“He’s with May.” Steve dragged his eyes up at Tony and his heart broke. Because Tony was trying so hard to fix things, and Steve was trying equally hard to ruin them.

It was horrible. Peter never wanted to be at home, the fighting between his dads was worse than ever now. They wouldn’t tell him what was going on, Aunt May swore she had no clue. The only real escape was school. Not that school was much of an improvement. Peter walked up to his locker in a half-comatose state. He was exhausted. He couldn’t sleep anymore, not with his dads arguing all through the night. His spidey sense kicked in a second before Wade Wilson tapped his shoulder. Peter spun around, a scowl on his face and brain suddenly awake. But Wade’s posse wasn’t around. Peter immediately relaxed.

“What do you want?” Peter asked dryly, the boys had stopped speaking years ago. Mainly because Wade was popular and interested in girls and partying. Peter was interested in neither of those. He’d been interested in Wade and hanging out with the Avengers. Wade was the only kid in the school who knew about Peter’s dads.

“Are you alright?” Wade was frowning and Peter took a deep breath. He felt a sudden urge to tell Wade everything, to spill his secrets in a way that once had been so easy. They had known everything about each other. Peter knew all about how Wade wished he’d gotten to know his father and how Wade had an unhealthy obsession with Wham! Make It Big, he knew that Wade’s favourite food was pizza and that Wade never had to study to pass a test.

“I’m fine.” He lied. There was once a time Peter could tell Wade everything, he didn’t even have to think about it. Being with Wade was as easy as breathing. Now being around Wade felt similar to drowning.

“you don’t look fine.” Was that worry? How could Wade still see through Peter’s lies, even after all these years?

“since when did you care about how I looked?” Peter demanded. He was surprised to see Wade flinch. Wade didn’t care, that had been made clear. Over the years, Peter had attempted to revive their friendship, Wade had slammed the door shut in his face.

“What’s going on Peter?” Wade’s voice was slightly softer and Peter turned back to his locker, squeezing his eyes shut. he missed Wade, but Wade was an asshole and they weren’t best friends anymore.

“Hey Peter, hey Wade.” Ned had the best timing.

“Ned could you give us a minute?” Wade asked and Ned smiled but Peter shot him a dark look.

“Uhh-“ Ned suddenly didn’t look so sure of himself. Peter and Wade had never really explained to anyone what had gone wrong. So Ned didn’t know whether to hate Wade or to simply be passive aggressive towards him.

“Was there a point to this conversation Wade?” Peter demanded and Wade frowned.

“Wilson get over here!” cue the posse. Peter heard Wade swear underneath his breath.

“I’ll talk to you later Peter.” Wade flashed them both a smile and then turned to go join his friends. He turned the corner and then Wade was gone.

“What was that about?” Ned asked and Peter shrugged.

“I dunno, but it’s not my place to care anymore.” Ned nodded his head.

“You look tired.” Even though Peter loved Ned, even though they were best friends, he didn’t tell Ned everything.

“I’m fine.” He lied, and Ned believed it.

Plates had been smashed, windows broken and house destroyed. Tony wasn’t exactly sure how the fight had escalated so quickly, but it had. It hadn’t been that big of a problem until Peter had come home, carrying a large stack of mail.

“hey Peter.” Tony smiled sheepishly and watched his son take in the house.

“Do you want me to stay with May?” Peter offered and Tony groaned.

“I hate this, you know that I hate this right?” Peter sighed and nodded.

“I know dad, I’ll go pack a bag.” Peter was shuffling through the mail and lifted up a fancy envelope.

“What’s that?” Tony asked, abandoning the chair he was trying to fix.

“It’s addressed to the three of us.” Peter said and opened the envelope. Tony peered over Peter’s shoulder, Clint and Natasha were getting married.

“finally.” Tony muttered.

“are you and pops getting a divorce?” Peter asked suddenly and Tony flinched.

“Of course not. This is just…” Tony trailed off and Peter stared down at the floor.

“the beginning of a divorce?” he asked and tony sighed.

“A rough patch.” He decided.

“You and pops have had rough patches before, this isn’t a rough patch. Tell me what’s going on.” Tony groaned.

“I want to kid, I honestly do…” but how did you tell your 17 year old that their father had been unfaithful?

“just tell me, I’m old enough that you should be telling me stuff.” Tony sighed and nodded his head.

“Steve and Bucky…” Peter’s eyes widened and Tony instantly regretted saying anything.

“You’re joking.” Peter’s instant disbelief was similar to what Tony had experienced.

“I really wish I was kid.” Peter squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

“What are you going to do?” he asked and Tony shrugged, even though Peter wasn’t looking.

“I don’t know.”

“do you want a divorce?”

“No.”

“Does pops?”

“I don’t know.” Peter was taking this all surprisingly well.

“We’re going to be okay Peter.” Tony promised and Peter nodded.

“I know, you always make things better. I’m going to pack for May’s, alright?” Tony nodded his head.

“Alright.”

“Love you dad.”

“love you too.”

Steve was trying not to freak out. He told bucky that he had told tony. Told bucky that no matter how hard he tries, he always chokes on the words he means.

“Something isn’t right Steve…” Bucky trailed off, lost in thought.

“I know what you’re thinking and I’ve tried to tell Tony about the purple guy. I tried it this afternoon, but I couldn’t get the words out. I ended up throwing a chair across the room.” Bucky frowned.

“this is bad Steve, I don’t like being someone else’s puppet.” Steve wasn’t a fan of it either.

“Maybe you could tell someone. I can’t but maybe you can.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“I can try.”

Peter hated this. When he knocked at the door, May had been grinning. But the smile faded as soon as she noticed Peter.

“Another fight?” she asked and he nodded. She stepped aside and he could hear voices from the dining room.

“Who’s here?” Peter asked and May bit her lip.

“May? What’s going on? You know I can’t see, Wade what’s going on?” It was Al’s voice. Suddenly Peter wanted to turn around and run, this was now the last place he wanted to be.

“Peter just showed up.” Wade murmured and Peter wanted to disappear through the floor.

“I can just go-“ But May shook her head.

“Nonsense, i was just finishing up dinner.” May walked off to the kitchen.

“Peter how are you? I haven’t heard from you in ages, tell me what’s going on? How’s Steve and Tony?” Peter’s hands were shaking and Wade was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Fine.” Peter lied and Wade frowned but mercifully said nothing.

“That’s good, last time I spoke with Steve he was telling me how he and Tony were talking about adopting another kid. Are they still planning on that?” Peter had not known about that.

“I don’t know. I’m just going to dump my stuff in the guest room, I’ll be back.” Peter moved as quickly as possible. Once the bedroom door was closed, Peter leaned against it. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. Wade was here. He would have to sit through dinner and pretend like everything was fine, like his world wasn’t imploding. There was a knock on the other side of the door. Thinking it was May, Peter opened the door.

“What’s going on with you?” Wade demanded, Peter nearly slammed the door in his face.

“Nothing.”

“why won’t you talk to me?” Wade demanded.

“in case you hadn’t noticed, we haven’t exactly been friends in the past three years.” Wade winced slightly and it brought peter a sense of satisfaction.

“Ouch Peter, I guess I’d forgotten your ability to hit people right where it hurts.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“What are you even doing here?” Peter demanded, surely Wade knew that when their friendship ended, Peter got his aunt. Wade couldn’t have everyone.

“May invited us over. Why are you being such an asshole today?” Wade asked, tilting his head and studying Peter.

“Stop. Don’t make judgements about me, you don’t get to do that anymore.” Wade raised a brow.

“Did you get the invitation?” Wade asked and Peter’s brows furrowed.

“Invitation?” what was he on about?

“For Clint and Natasha?” they’d invited him to the wedding?

“Of course I received an invitation.” Peter grumbled.

“Are you going?” Wade asked and Peter inhaled sharply.

“Yeah, they’re practically my aunt and uncle.” Wade nodded.

“Well I’m going, and I’d rather we be civil. Even if only for that night.” Peter frowned.

“dinner!” May called out and Peter sighed.

“We should probably get back out there.” Wade nodded in agreement.

“Yeah.” But it looked like he had more to say. Peter waited patiently, preparing for whatever Wade had to say.

“You’ve really changed.” And with that, Wade went back to dinner.

Steve had somehow managed to organise a meeting where he, bucky and tony all sat down together. Finally Tony would find out about Steve’s vision.

“What’s this all about Steve?” Tony asked impatiently, Steve took a deep breath and nodded at Bucky. Bucky had been calm the entire time, ready to tell Tony what had happened. But when Bucky opened his mouth, he froze.

“Bucky?” Steve coaxed, his marriage depended on this.

“Steve belongs with me.” Bucky seemed to be fighting the words and Steve felt the blood drain from his face.

“Stop talking.” Steve pleaded but he knew it was too late. That Bucky wouldn’t be able to stop. He was as much a puppet as Steve was.

“What?” tony’s brows furrowed and steve’s heart broke. There was no way to tell tony, his marriage was over. Ruined. Steve couldn’t save it, he couldn’t undo this damage. He was a prisoner to his own mind, someone else was in control.

“Steve should be with me. We have been in love for a hundred years, surely you understand that we belong together?” Steve couldn’t believe this. Tony looked to Steve, there was so much pain in his husband’s eyes.

“Steve?” his voice was so soft and Steve knew Tony deserved better than this. He thought about their life, dancing with tony at the fundraiser, making cookies and lasagne, holding tony in his arms, their first kiss, raising peter together, buying this house, peter’s first day of school. He thought about all of their best moments. And with a deep breath, knew it was time to let it go.

“I think it’s time we get a divorce.” Tony squeezed his eyes shut. Steve studied Tony’s face, he couldn’t keep hurting Tony. He needed to figure out what was going on, and if he loved Tony, he needed to keep Tony out of the picture.

“okay.” Tony whispered.

[sebseyesandbuckysthighs]

Love is For Children (1/2)

Summary: You’re a former mercenary turned Avenger who joins the team after fighting, and defeating, each member that tried to recruit you. You’re confident in your abilities and even challenge the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier. A battle of egos ensues and it’s Bucky that fights to get your attention but you’re a professional and won’t fall easy for his charm.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 3266 Warnings: None A/N: Alrighty so I decided to split this in two parts cause damn, I’m such a wordy mess!! I hope you like it, let me know! Posting the second half tomorrowlol. ❤

“How the hell does she keep getting away?!” Tony shouted at no one in particular as he paced the floor. He didn't like getting bested by anyone but he really didn't like that the whole team had their asses handed to them.

“She's a professional, Tony,” Steve said, putting two more ice packs on his knees and wincing slightly as he adjusted them.

Tony stopped walking and looked bewildered at the blonde man. “Yeah? And what the hell are we? We've only saved the planet a handful of times but we can't take down some nimble little assassin?!” His angry words echoed throughout the cavernous lounge of the Avengers compound.

You had been on the team's radar for months now. As a former mercenary, your skill set was quite impressive; staggering intellect, combat training, proficiency with any number of deadly weapons, and you could charm even the most ruthless and cunning of minds without being emotionally compromised. As far as resumes go, this made you a perfect candidate for Avenger potential, as much as it made you a threat. Fury warned the team that there was no way they would bring you in. That they'd have better luck just calling and asking you over for lunch. Against better judgment, they ignored his advice and set a plan in motion.

First, Sam and Wanda were sent in for surveillance. Nothing confrontational. They took positions at opposite ends of a small cafe you visited often and watched you. Wanda worked to get a read on your thoughts and found that your mind was clear and calm, almost in a meditative state. They knew you were well-trained and disciplined so this hardly seemed surprising, even if it was a little unsettling.

Only ten minutes of uneventful observation passed when Sam noticed that you were getting ready to leave. He signaled for Wanda to stop you without causing a scene, making sure to keep his eyes on you until she worked her magic. But after several seconds, nothing was happening. He was about to call out to his teammate again when you looked him straight in the eye, gave him a sly wink and then nodded behind him.

Sam whipped his head back towards Wanda to see that the brunette was waving her hands in front of her face and making whooshing sounds out loud. He ran to her side and immediately noticed that her pupils were completely blown; she was hallucinating. Wanda started laughing nonsensically, pointing to her coffee cup and shouting, ‘Clue!’ repeatedly. Sam picked up the empty mug from the saucer to reveal a post-it note underneath, simply stating, “Bye Bye, Birdie.” By the time he ran out of the cafe to find you, you were long gone.

“If I had my pack, I would've been able to track her. Rookie mistake.” Sam tried to defend his honor but it made no difference. You gave them the slip and they would just have to try again.

A week later, it was Clint and Natasha's turn. The two master spies were confident that they could bring you in with no complications or excuses. They spotted you in a crowded park, leisurely reading a book and keeping to yourself. The area was vast and open but with plenty of ground level obstacles that could be used as cover. Taking precaution, Clint stationed himself atop a nearby building so he could communicate your position to his partner in case you were to run and a fight broke out. Which it did the second Nat got a little too close.

Barton watched from above as you fought each other through the area. Expertly avoiding the stunned civilians and deflecting her attacks with such finesse and precision, it barely looked as though you were even trying. He continued to relay your position through the comms whenever you managed to break away long enough to take cover. Then he saw that you had taken out a weapon.

For a split-second, he was worried you were going to shoot Natasha that he didn’t realize that it was pointed in his direction. Suddenly, a high-pitched ringing shot through his ears and he fell back in pain, clutching his head. The 'gun' you aimed at him disrupted the frequency in his hearing devices and the feedback sent him reeling. With Barton down, Natasha decided she had enough. After a few more hits were exchanged, she vaulted towards you with the intention of using her signature technique to take you down once and for all. The next few seconds were a blur as you countered her advance before her legs could make a connection and grabbed hold of her. Using her momentum and your strength, you threw her to ground, hard. The unanticipated brute force knocked the wind out of her and left her writhing in shock, giving you time to run away.

“Honestly Nat, everyone kind of expects that move now. You use it all the time." Clint said, immediately regretting his words when he saw the look on his partner's face.

Another week passed which led to last night’s encounter with Tony and Steve, where you made even shorter work of them. They trailed you after leaving a fancy gathering, dressed to impress in a floor-length gown and heels that were sure to slip you up if you were to try and run.

They were wrong.

They only lost visual on you for a minute, which was evidently all the time you needed to find a large rifle you had stashed away. Before Tony could lift his gauntlets in defense, you fired a powerful EMP at the armored Avenger, effectively frying his circuits and sending his suit into a frenzy before crash-landing. As for Cap...you went for his legs.

Moral of the story: Never doubt Nick Fury.

“She's making fools of us, you realize that?” Tony announced.

“Yeah we got that, Tony,” said Natasha. She was more annoyed with Stark than she was with you at this point. She could deal with skilled professionals, not whining billionaires.

“She knew we were coming before we even had eyes on her. How?” Steve was as concerned as he was intrigued.

The entire team sat there wallowing in defeat and embarrassment because of the situation they put themselves in. All with the exception of one. The only person not tasked with bringing you in yet, who was also failing to contain himself against his crestfallen teammates. They heard his snickers and turned to face the long haired brunette.

“Something funny, Barnes?” Tony all but growled through his teeth.

Bucky chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “Do I really have to say it?” 

“Oh, I wish you would,” Sam challenged.

“Well...you sent in the rest, now it's time to send in the best,” Bucky declared with a smug grin. His hands gestured up and down the length of his body, earning him a collective groan of disapproval from the others.

Bucky Barnes had been in recovery for nearly two years. Improving steadily with the aid of his best friend Steve and the rest of the team supporting him. It had taken some time for Tony to finally accept that Barnes wasn’t in control during all those years in service to the true enemy. Hydra was responsible for everyone’s suffering, not just his own or his team’s. So for the sake of recovery, Tony decided to help the former assassin. Whether he would live to regret that decision or not remained to be seen.

With the development of B.A.R.F., Stark was capable of hijacking the hippocampus of Bucky’s brain to help him recover from the traumatic events and painful memories of his past. Most importantly, they had managed to erase any lingering threat of the Winter Soldier being activated ever again by ridding his mind of the trigger words. It wasn’t an easy or quick process but it proved successful and so The Stark Relief Foundation was able to begin work towards helping other PTSD victims.

With that chapter of his life finally ending, Bucky was able to move forward and discover who he was now. He wasn't the same Sergeant James Barnes of the Howling Commandos nor was he the mindless Hydra assassin, but there were qualities from each of those men that helped make Bucky who he was today. He was charming and sweet and loyal to a fault, signaling that 40′s influence. He also showed great discipline and confidence, with an intensity that could stop anyone dead in their tracks; a nod to his days as the Soldier. He knew his skills in hand-to-hand combat and his efficiency with weapons was unmatched and he wasn't above flaunting it these days. Basically, Bucky Barnes had a bit of an ego, much to the team's displeasure and annoyance.

“You're an idiot,” Natasha scolded.

“No, he's a jackass,” corrected Sam.

“Jerk,” Steve mumbled.

“Alright alright, enough.” Tony halted the parade of names, feeling his blood pressure rising. “We can think of colorful words to describe Barnes all the live long day but right now, we have a bigger issue that nee—”

“Sir, we have a situation at the main entrance of the compound.” F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice interrupted. The group looked at each other more confused than alarmed. Meanwhile, Tony was ready to explode.

“Why must there always be a problem!? Alright, me and Rogers head to the gate. The rest of you, check the perimeter and the lower levels." He took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves but then...

“The breach isn’t at the gate, boss. It's the main entrance inside the compound.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed them.

“WHAT?!” Tony screamed.

Everyone jumped into action instantly. Steve rushed for his shield and was shouting out orders. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., red alert. Lockdo—”

“That won't be necessary, people.” Your voice came over the intercom throughout the entire compound. “I was under the impression that you wanted to get a hold of me so I figured I'd stop by.”

“Holy shit. That's her,” Bucky mumbled to himself, unable to hide the admiration in his voice. Your elusiveness with the team had impressed him over the last few weeks. A flood of excitement rushed through him now that he would be meeting you face to face. Even if he was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be bringing you in himself.

The group bolted towards the main lobby and saw you standing alone by the large windows overlooking the grounds. Casual as can be with your hands in your pockets and a pleasant smile on your face. Moments passed as you surveyed the stunned heroes, each one more shocked and dumbfounded than the last. Except for one. You noticed the brunette super soldier staring at you in awe so you shot him a playful wink.

“How did you get past the defenses?” Steve's tone was serious but you shrugged it off.

“You guys wouldn't be so interested in me if I wasn't capable of doing something like this, now would you?”

Steve considered your answer but he still wasn't satisfied. "Why are you here? You spent weeks slipping away from us and now all of a sudden, you show up at our front door." His jaw clenched and you raised your hands in defense.

"Hey, you guys started this whole thing. With your undercover creeping and stalking attempts to try and get closer to me. I don't appreciate being watched and I definitely don't like being backed into a corner." You crossed your arms firmly over your chest and glared at them.

At least had the decency to look almost sheepish as they stood before you, knowing that they didn’t even bother to try and get in contact with you officially.

"We needed to see what you were capable of," Steve said, trying to recover the situation and make it seem as though everything was done consciously. He knew you didn’t buy it but you decided to be gracious.

"Well then, did I pass your expectations?" You grinned at the Captain as he finally lowered his shield.

"Exceeded them actually," Steve said, easing the tension in his shoulders and smiling at you. The team took their cue from the Cap and relaxed as well.

Except one.

“But h-how?” Tony's voice cracked when he finally spoke, clearly still struggling with the situation. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets so you tried to console him before the man completely lost it.

“I'll explain everything over lunch, Stark. Actually, you should invite Fury too. He’s been having way too much fun watching from the sidelines.”

A few months passed since you joined the team and you were happy to be getting along so well with your new teammates. Even though the early weeks were mostly spent apologizing. They were a little sour about your first interactions and the fact that Fury had been assisting you with figuring out their next moves. It helped to reassure them that you spent weeks studying and preparing to face off against them. Besides, they read your files so they knew what you were capable of too.

You were a child prodigy, forced to start training and fighting at a young age with a group of notorious mercenaries led by your parents. You were lethal by your teenage years and they started hiring you out to anyone that needed your services. Being starved of love and affection kept you in a state of emotional sterilization and numbness that made your job easier and your abilities deadlier. You were always regarded as one of the best so that helped to inflate your ego just enough to keep you off a path of self-loathing but not enough to silence your conscience completely. S.H.I.E.L.D. was the last agency to ‘hire’ you with the intention of converting and recruiting you. They managed to knock some sense into you and in return, you helped them take down the mercenaries that raised you. No love lost there obviously.

You were surprised to find that you got along so well with Bucky in particular. Somehow feeling comfortable enough to open up to him more so than the rest. Neither of you showed pity towards the others hardships but instead focused on your strengths and perseverance towards survival. Initial attractions aside, Bucky had definitely peaked your interests and vice versa so it didn’t take long for you to start getting at each other. Both cocky and confident with skill sets to back it up, you were constantly challenging him and he was always more than willing to accept.

Today was just like any other day that you trained alongside Bucky. He was stronger than you of course but you made up for it with your speed and agility. You each got hits in but you spent most of your time avoiding Bucky’s frisky advances. He was always so bold and eager to touch you when you fought against him. After an hour and still no one's back hitting the mat long enough for a count, Steve declared a stalemate.

“You barely touched me this round, doll. That ain't much of a fight.” Bucky said as you both exited the ring and reached for your gym bags.

"That's because you’re an ape, Bucky. If you spent less time trying to grab my ass and more time actually trying to hit me or pin me, maybe Rogers wouldn't have called it."

You peeled off your sweaty tank top so you were just in your sports bra and workout tights. For a second, you thought to throw your shirt at Bucky's face but knowing him, he probably wouldn’t mind it.

"Now why would I want to hit that beautiful body?" He eyed your sweat-slick body hungrily and took a long pull from his water bottle.

You watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he drank. A small stream of water escaped his lips and trailed down his chin, disappearing under the collar of his Under Armor top. The tight material was damp with sweat and clinging to his body, threatening to tear anytime he flexed. Instinctively, your eyes wanted to travel lower but you avoided the temptation. He always smiled so wide when he caught you staring. Not that you ever bothered to hide it so you smiled right back.

"That didn't stop me from landing a right hook on that pretty face of yours." You noted the light bruising on his cheek.

You gathered your gear and headed towards the exit with Bucky following close behind like he usually did.

“You're too good to me, Y/N. Always leaving me a little something to remember you by.” He touched your arm lightly and you turned to swat his hand away.

“Watch it, Barnes. Unless we're in the ring, you keep your hands off me or I'll make you regret it,” you warned him. He raised his hands in surrender but that cocky grin was a permanent fixture on his face.

When you turned to leave again, he made the poor decision to test your threat just like you knew he would. As soon as he extended his right hand, you grabbed it and pulled him towards you, using it as leverage so you could step onto his leg and climb over him. You hooked your thigh around his head and twisted your body to take him down. Before his back hit the floor, you had your hand wrapped around his windpipe as you straddled his chest.

He wasn’t sure whether he was more stunned or aroused and judging from his position, he was closer to the latter. From this angle, he was only inches away from your clothed core and having your thighs so close to his face always excited him. Your grip on his neck was firm but he could still speak.

“You thought I'd regret this?! Oh doll, this is one of the best decisions I've ever made!” He was beaming from ear to ear and you couldn't stop yourself from giggling at how ridiculous he was. Reasons like this were why you avoided using these techniques with him.

With your free hand, you pat his cheek and got up to walk away. He rolled to his side and silently watched as you left, looking disappointed when you were out of sight. He forgot that Sam and Steve were still in the room until he heard them laughing. Steve had his hands on his hips, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows while Sam was giving him a goofy grin and nodding his head suggestively.

"I think you’ve met your match, Buck."

"Real smooth, Barnes."

Bucky ignored them and turned to lay flat on his back again. He shut his eyes and pictured you on top of him, looking down with an innocent smile and that devilish glint in your eyes.

“You okay there, Bucky?” Steve asked, humor in his tone.

“I think I'm in love.” He sighed whimsically and the three men laughed together.

part one :: part two >>

Leave me some feedback! ❤

Tag List Lovelies (If anyone wants to be added/removed, just let me know ♥)

@avengerofyourheart @beccaanne814-blog @buckysberrie @marvelingatthewonder @buckyywiththegoodhair @imaginingbucky @memiskypirate @anya-lv @heismyhunter @melanie451 @palaiasaurus64 @fantasticimpaladoctor @the-renaissance @bucky-on-a-bike @whatsbetterthanfantasy @jbb-98 @fallingpanickedkilljoys @feelmyroarrrr @annadier @no-im-not-dead-nor-i-have-a-pool @tatortot2701 @blogdebooklover16 @cassiopeiassky @aenna-4 @lilasiannerd @alphadareme @badassbaker @chrisevans-imagines @sergeant-angel @aenna-4 @lilasiannerd @mrs--healy @dead-inside52 @nea90sweetie @callingmrsbarnes @tempestinatea-cup @dearmisterhiddles @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @imshalida @sarahjeaniejean @phvckingphandoms @re2d2 @the--baroness @rebel-different @the-witching-hours12-3 @buckyandsebsinbin @mellifluous-melodramas

[rowanartist]

Fan Fiction Quotes 2017:

"[Steve and Bucky] start a scholarship fund for Women in STEM students and name it after Peggy Carter"notes of ao3 ficyes!

"Maybe it was why he was failing so horribly now, he was too wrapped up in thinking to actually focus on the too-soft task that was quite literally at hand."Xpersonally relatable, overthinking

"He tries not to, but Steve gets that cold, sick feeling that he always gets, whenever somebody talks about him being attractive. He knows how he looks, and he can’t spend two minutes online without being reminded that the world is a big fan of the strong body and jaw that the serum gave him. He just wishes it didn’t feel so much like it’s because being scrawny and sick was some kind of aberration that had been corrected. That he wasn’t worth a dime of love or affection until he was Captain America."ch1while this might be a more extreme case, what are you supposed to do with being called beautiful? It's nice to hear but also confusing, there's more to me. "“Dracula,” Nat says simply, and heads for the elevator. Romania, then. -- “I’ll bring garlic!” Steve calls after her, and she sends him a smile over her shoulder."ch2amusing and playful. Made me smile "Tony Stark is a good person to cry in front of. He’ll only ever mock your strengths, not your weaknesses."[ch3]interesting characterization of Tony

"Ma'am, this is Steve Rogers. Yes ma'am, that one. I appear to have an unconscious HYDRA operative on my front stoop. Yes ma'am. Tied up with his own jacket. There is a gun, ma'am, but its barrel is currently at a 90-degree angle. I guess I need ... the FBI? No ma'am, I have no earthly idea."[X: ch9]funny, :) "chewing on the totally amazing future invention that is grilled cheese with egg and ham on it (seriously: why do these people still have wars)"[X:ch10]I've never tried egg on a grilled cheese... "Hey. Note: it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what."[X:ch20]good note. "His anger is a sound between his ears like a train. It is a tight band around his chest. It is hands that ache to do violence."[X:ch23]seems like good wording

"He started sketching Bucky out dancing, spinning a dame around with a huge grin plastered on his mug. He penciled in a big ol’ bow on the back of her dress like she was the best present a guy could want. But the picture was still all about Bucky. The crinkles around his eyes, staring Steve down with a challenge for him to get out there and have a whirl. Steve could hear Bucky’s laugh now."[X]pretty picture "Steve was a furnace built of muscle and good intentions, held together with a Brooklyn drawl and a heap of sass. "[X]lol

"It's not that different from close quarters fighting, really," she told him. "Think of it like you're trying to block me from getting past you, but do it to the beat. Stay loose and ready to move in any direction."[X]found because I liked some of the authors other works and the Fandom. I don't have any experience with fighting and little with dancing but it would make sense from the grace of good fight scenes in movies and tv. "I need to be able to trust anyone I'd want to go to bed with, not necessarily be in love with them."[X]interesting idea...

"A son’s faith in his father is absolute when he is small; especially when that father is the only parent the boy has"[ch7]part of growing up is learning and accepting that your parents are wrong, and sometimes it takes someone special to tell you

"Badass by day, adorably snuggling our nightmares away by night."[X]stumbled along this because of another post and tumblr's check out other posts feature. . .

"The Hulk is part of you, but he's not all of you. We know that,"[X]a reread, i don't think I pulled this quote our last time. Reread because of another quote [quote art]

"Reviewing what he knew of both [Peggy and Nat], Bucky wondered for a moment if he should be afraid, but figured that they would both take a 'firm, but fair' attitude when they ruled the world."[ch2]believable "Sorry. Just.” Bucky let go, but made Steve meet his eyes. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm not nagging, honestly.” -- “He cares about you, Steve, and is telling you so,” Peggy said. “Accept it like the fucking adult you are.” -- “I have cartoon pajamas, I am not an adult,” Steve informed her. "[ch4]the bold could have been a quote on its own, but on a more serious note I wanted the rest of the conversation... "Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to the angriest saint in the world?"[ch 10]amusing... "He's good and giving and kind, and sometimes he doesn't feel well and is under the impression that it cancels out everything else."[ch10]I relate, it can be hard when you're frustrated and angry with yourself "“Have fun,” Peggy said, and physically shoved him away from Steve and out the door, because she was very helpful like that."[ch12]yeah, I've had a few moments like that... "“I don't not enjoy having you here,” Steve said, pushing up on one elbow. “Bucky, don't ever think that. It's more like...I can't feel anything. Like I go numb, and don't care. And that mixes with sadness, sometimes,” he admitted. “But mostly it's just...dull. And awful. But I still know that someone loves me and is here and cares.”"[ch16]ponder Same series "Bite your tongue. There are so many ways to love people, and you got to do them all today,” Bucky pointed out. “It's a perfect Valentine's Day. One love isn't better than the other, and it shouldn't be given priority.”"[X]interesting point, Valentine's day really doesn't have to be about couples/romantic relationships, but all types of important relationships! Same Series "there's a middle ground between throwing a fit and being completely determined to not bleed on anyone else,” "[ch1]But finding that middle ground can be difficult. I also feel Steve's response when Bucky said that Steve had a "shit day": "Plenty of people have had worse days,”

"“Bucky you’re having a panic attack and I need you to listen to me. I need you to breathe. Focus on me okay? Focus on me and try to breathe with me.”"[part5]handling a panic attack. Sometimes it can be hard to accept the help remembering to breathe, like I messed up and don't deserve it. "Felt the need to explain himself more, as though acting without talking through it first was dangerous"[part+1]kinda get this for different reasons?

"Anytime [Bucky] managed to scrape together enough money after all the bills, he dragged Steve to the latest exhibit, marveling over everything. Steve, tending to look at things through a more artistic gaze, gaped at the beauty of science and Bucky’s child-like enthusiasm."[X]I'm not sure which one I'm more like. "Getting his overactive mind to shut the fuck up is a work in progress."[X]yeah, I know the feeling "as if [Bucky]’s the sunshine to cut through Steve’s rain."[X]just really nice turn of phrase "“You’re thinking too hard.” A whisper. A life boat to which Steve shamelessly clings to."[X]isn't it nice to let yourself do that? "I love spending time with you. I don’t regret a single second of it. I don’t need my space. But a relationship is between equals, Steve. After everything that happened, I needed to find myself apart from you, like you have. We needed to get back on the same page"[X]maybe. Standing on your own doesn't necessarily mean space. I will need to work on that some day, reaching out and making my own place.

"But this means showing emotion or allowing himself to feel. It means overwhelming himself, easily. It means not being able to convey everything he’s feeling ending in frustration ending in doubt, leading to locking himself up in a room. He hates it."[X]comments

"The Winter Soldier," Stark repeats. "Freezer Burn, the Russian Mob. Ice Ice Baby. Sid Vicious, the White Russian, Psychosicle, MC Hammer and Sickle--"[X]I like the variety of nicknames, quite a few I haven't seen before.

"Wow," the man says, without introducing himself. "Guess they did freeze at the peak of freshness"[ch11]lol, very Tony like

"Yes, okay, so you’re Bucky Barnes and you’re President Barnes’ son and that holds a lot of weight. But you could have chosen not to go. You could have said that it wasn’t your problem and just stayed home. But you went, and you talked to those people and you inspired them and you showed them solidarity. That was all you, and that counts. No matter what you think, that counts."[ch4]choosing to try to make a difference, no matter how seemingly small , can be very important "I’m the only person who ever gives it to you straight. Which is ironic seeing you’re as straight as a paperclip!"[ch16]not straight jokes are kinda amusing. I'm not sure if that's problematic or not... P.S. once I finished the fic I realized how much I liked Aunt Helen!

"He's an adult, you can't trust him to do the job correctly."[ch12]this fic is also in my fic rec. These kids are hilarious! "Not really much to tell." He shrugged. "Best friend. Prat. Housemate. Sometimes co-parent, sometimes yet another child to look after. That sums everything up perfectly."[ch12]amusing

"Hlupak—Czech word for "idiot". I have arbitrarily decided that Czech and Sokovian share some vocabulary, including insults. It is also my headcanon that hlupak was something Wanda called Pietro a LOT."[ch1:end chapter notes]lol

"wondering whether the total inability to sleep is a side effect of the serum or a side effect of his life."[X]sounds like a conundrum ""I know my brother. He would never be happy without somewhere to run.""[X] "You'd be smarter to stay out of this," Steve warns. -- "I don't believe intelligence was mentioned in the orientation packet." -- "That's 'cause we're all idiots. I don't want you to lose your home, Wanda. "[X]yupI wish there was more.

"As much as you can,” he said, “stay in the eye."[X]odd little fic but not bad

"Right. Does that mean Iron Man's gonna come get you?" -- "Captain America—actually." Purple Shirt groans as he tries to sit up. "He—worries too much. "[X]that sounds likely :) "You carried an orphaned kitten around in your jacket for like a week. You want me to be scared of you? Try harder."[X]cute

"Faint gamma signature, uncomfortably familiar shade of mindfuck blue, localized weirdness... You know, I really hate portals. Have I mentioned how much I hate portals?"[X]the bold bit was particularly amusing, in the laugh in order to not be negative way "Scientist wrangler and pop-culture expert," Darcy interrupted cheerfully."[X]nice intro for Darcy! "Think about it. My lady love, your lady love, every terrifying woman they know, bonding...""[X]Peggy, Pepper, Nat, Jane, Darcy, Maria, Kate maybe others... "Sam was wearing his you're being stupid right now face"[X]most characterizations of him he does this enough it's a know thing "Frank Sinatra launched into a jazzy rendition of "I'll Be Seeing You," the opening number of Darcy's "Old People" playlist. "[X]of course Darcy has an "Old People" playlist. Followed by: Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To by Dinah Shore more from the comments: "The Trolley Song" (because Darcy is terrible), and ends with Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again." "So they were there like gentlemen, waiting on the sidelines and holding Peggy's flower while she kicked that Bad Week's ass."[X]a quote from the comments; I like it for the facing hardships motto... "The archer plays Cupid!"[X]more from the comments

*brendaonao3.tumblr.com: Brenda’s Long-Ass Under-Appreciated Fanfics Appreciation/Rec Post Part 1*

"he hated making Bucky worry for no good reason, mostly because of how often he made Bucky worry with reason"[X]not really sure how I feel about it, characters seem good but I'm not sure I feel the chemistry?

"Iron Man pinned to the ground, held down by Alice and the White Rabbit while the Mad Hatter bashed at his helmet with a teacup"[X]very amusing and I should draw. Statues.(Also, later:"That's a big whale")

"Yeah, real handsome. All the dolls will be swooning.” Bucky winked, and it was easy as anything to reply, “There's only one doll whose swoon I want, sweetheart"[X]goofy and fun, I like it "younger man hunched in a similar manner over his book, sitting crosslegged on Steve's bed. Steve remembered glancing up from his sketch of something unimportant at the same time as Bucky looked up, and their eyes met, and they leaned across the bed toward each other. When they kissed, their bodies formed an arch over the bedspread, like the ceiling of a cathedral. Then they went back to what they'd been doing"[X]nice imagery

"Sometimes, even with all of the positive developments - or maybe partly because of them, who knows - it all gets to be a bit much for Steve, which makes him feel guilty, because it’s not like he’s the one who’s working through seven decades of manipulation and brutality"[X]relatable, the "why should I be the stressed one?"(note: talking heads song this fic, Bruce) "such as interrupting one of Tony’s endless attempts to impress him with Midgardian science by saying, “Truly a valiant effort, my friend” and patting Tony on the head), "[X]amusing, I bet Tony has an opinion on that, not sure what though [Steve]"Are you judging me right now?" [Sam]“Not at the moment, no. But I reserve the right to do so at a later date, depending on what your dumb ass comes up with next" [Steve]"Fair enough"[X]comments

"Anytime Bucky gets in the elevator alone, JARVIS talks to him the whole time."[X]awww

" would wrinkle his nose, not because of the smell as much as what the smell meant"[X]personal reasons: yeah I don't like the smell but I'd never thought about it before until I learned of the part it played between my parents...I like this fic center

"Because I don’t understand,” he admits at last. “You’re--good. Everything about you is good. If anyone can see the truth about me, it should be you. I want to understand what you see in me so that I can try to be good again too" It feels ridiculous, having said the words aloud. [X]same paragraph as the next quote "He has a fleeting half-thought about what it would be like to fling himself off the rooftop, but he knows he never actually will."[X]...not actually suicidal?

"Guilt or croutons, Steve, those are your choices. You'll just have to live with it."[X]I feel you Steve

"The Winter Soldier reads each and every label carefully, deciding between hydrocodone and acetaminophen and naproxen sodium."[X]*whine* the first one is more heavy duty than the other two (Tylenol and Aleeve)

"He could simply read the title off the book, but he loves the way Bucky’s eyes light up when he gets to tell Steve about whatever he’s reading."[X]this is sweet, and the answer is amusing "Figures. You love the man who sings about the little people. That’s so you."[X]I like the music section that follows this quote...

"He lets it sit on his tongue, imagines he can feel it dissolve into fats and proteins, weaving together to build muscle or stoking the fires of his mitochondria, warming him."[X]meditative idea??

"A good spy never let on that his primary observations about the human character came from Disney films"[X]lol "The human version of toast that lands butter side down, every time,"[X]wow, what a way to describe Clint Barton!

"He craves [human closeness], Bucky knows, reveres it so much that he’ll never take it for granted, that he rarely dares to ask for it"[X]relatable

"Genuine kicker of all Nazi ass, and he blushed like a schoolgirl. Dork."[X]comments

"He's not so stupid he'll ignore the fact that when Steven "My Blood Group is Apple Pie" Rogers threatens to end you, he means it literally literally."[X]not actually from the fic rec but this one inspired one on the fic rec... "hobo-sex-kitten "[X]uhm, where else can that even be applied. Tony narration can be unique

"‘I’m Bucky Barnes.’ He meets him halfway for a second. ‘And I take my own orders.’"[X]this line just stuck me

"Explain how necking with an estranged assassin is a favor," Bucky replies, miffed."[X]this fic, the story game?

"Ah, shit, you came in through the window didn’t you?"[X]made me laugh

"Being Iron Man doesn't make his brain shut up, exactly, but it tunes out the shit that doesn't matter better than anything else he's tried, and he's tried everything.)"[X]makes me think about my boyfriend explaining how SCA fighting or shooting at a gun range are for him.

*pause on the fic rec, I'll get back to reading it later

"Look man, all I’m saying is that for years you gave me someone to look up to for my entire life. ....You gave me someone to look to when I was feeling lost. I know that I’m nothing special, but you seem pretty lost right now. Figured you needed a little push, just like you used to give me."[X]Steve and Violet pt5, Tumblr fic

"More than once, James has ended up on the couch with Sam playing with his hair with a nature documentary on mute. He does the narration. Orcas are assholes"[X]found because of unclesteeb.tumblr.com

"When Steve thinks about Sam his heart does this funny thing where it feels like it’s overrun with kittens and puppies. Everything’s tiny patters of fluffy feet and pastel sugar plums made of candy. "[X]again, unclesteeb

"It's always the middle of winter, Jimmy never dreams of spring, no matter that his entire life is about being reborn, again and again -"[X]nice symbolism, and I'm not even a literary nerd. Also, from the fic rec from before...

"It's like he puts out some super pheromone that makes one believe in truth, goodness, and harebrained schemes."[ch1]I read the original story previously because of a fan art "Confirm. Green thing Hulk is tough and focused. And it's so big that it draws attention away from Steve"[ch1]amusing,particularly Steve's reaction :) "Building is a mission-assist for everyone."[X]awww/lol "One day at a time, Sam says, unless it takes one minute at a time, and then you do that."[ch7]good advice from Sam, of course Just all of chapter 8! "It's rude to assign gender without asking, Stark."[ch9]response to Tony arbitrarily tendering one of his bots (admittedly he does it to annoy Tony but...) "Barnes receives a majestic eyeroll, worthy of bald eagles and amber waves of grain."[ch11]amusing "Assists in your mission to live a good human life"[ch11]awww! Cuteness, I love this AU at Halloween time!

"and sits crammed into the corners of sofas, staring out."[X]same Series as previous set. I relate. Is it "a desire for human hugs" (blame Frozen for the phrasing) "America's mighty chin of stubbornness juts out like Plymouth Rock."[X]lol "Captain Fret wearing his worried expression"[X]yup

"All of the Bucky/Banner introductions, throughout the universes, have generally gone as well as two introverted weapons of mass destruction meeting could go."[ch6]was inspired by the last one

"I get lost in that feeling. Sometimes I need to rehash everything to get it all back in order in my head."[X]relatable I think from this fic rec

"I know that we– well, I –the last few times we’ve tried to, um, God why can’t I just say this out loud?"[X]because your normal Bucky. A lot of people feel that way, we shouldn't have to but it's not weird to! (Mini soap box)

"He’d found not one, but two, families in his long lifetime. People he cared about not because he had to, not because they shared any blood ties, but because they had come into his life when he felt like he had nothing else, and made it better."[X]the importance of any type of family!

"Steve quirked an eyebrow, putting his hands on his hips in his best ‘Captain America does not approve of your sass’ pose."[ch1]reminds me of doing the same with my boyfriend. "It’s just- I know it doesn’t look like much but we found it together. Yeah, it’s kind of old and beat up, and it’s little and broken but it’s still good. Yeah, still good."[ch2]yes, that probably does sound familiar! Disney!

"The Moon is a protector, Bucky. He’s bruised." Steve gives his fingers a squeeze, remembering a similar look on Peggy’s face once upon a time, when he stood in front of her with a broken transponder in his hand. “When I found someone worth flirting with."[X]awww, smile

"not his tiny blond ball of fury (whom he now remembers is a large blond ball of righteous fury),"[post]from the linked post, inspired this fic

"[Being surly to Captain America] It's like being nasty to Superman. He could do it, but he'd just feel like shit afterwards. It's not an experience he's eager to repeat."[X]amusing, means he's done that before...

""Yes, Pepper," they chorus like the good little schoolboys they might have been, once upon a time"[X]lol

"The next time he visited the pediatric ward at New York-Presbyterian, he brought a ton of socks and some puffy paint, so the kids could paint their own. The project was a hit with parents and internet knitters alike."[X]awww!! "Avengers Stitch and Bitch. "[X]comments

"he still has bad days where he sits in the dark by himself because the thought of being around anyone--even Steve--is like jackhammers in his skull and shattered glass under his skin. "[X]not nearly that bad for me, but I kinda get that "refrigerator with a magnet that looks like his shield."[X]cute. Near the end.

"the one who doesn't laugh as much or as loud as he used to, but whose eyes still crinkle in genuine humor at stupid puns and in wonder at some of the marvels of this modern age."[X]quiet emotion, not a lack of sense of humor

"This whole talking about our feelings like adults thing is hard. It made me hungry again. Didn't it make you hungry again?"[X]amusing, don't love the pairing 'cause I only know one of them and I really like him with Steve - though I've liked others

"he doesn't have anything left but a broken heart and some sourdough starter"[X]I've now seen a fair amount of Great British Baking Show " (Sure, the therapy sessions and the anti-anxiety drugs are helping too, but Steve's always been a big believer in the efficacy of hard work and good food for making a person feel better after their world's been turned upside down, and the bakery provides both in spades.)"[X]any combination of methods that helps

"You're going out with Barton. What makes you think you're in any way qualified to give me relationship advice?"[X]amusing deflection banter

"Bucky, you've always needed Steve and me to see the light in you, because you could never see it in yourself. That hasn't changed."[X]Peggy bring the truth...

"Hey! It’s dumb heroic shit. I don’t do stupid, unless there’s a reason for it."[X]yup, sounds like him "Barnes and Rogers, Brooklyn’s own troublemakers."[X]again, yup

"Never felt right pursing any selfish whims when there was so much injustice in the world, so many wrongs begging to be righted."[X]Bucky. Pirate AU. I really like the art - which is how I found it

"Steve gets to sleep in the middle and Clark and Buck equally love and fear his toes. His body radiates heat, but his damn toes are always cold and what the shit??? He’s so warm and yet?? Why just the toes?!"[X]Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent. I know cold toes!

"He does [sex] more for the happiness and emotional connectivity and that natural high of pleasing the ones he loves the most."[X]Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent.

"He’d never even told her he was pansexual (he figured he wasn’t bi because that could potentially discount aliens and since humans are technically “not him” he figured pan made sense). He’s spent a lot of time in the shower thinking about his sexual identity to be honest."[X]again the wibtersupercap head cannons. Lol. Even if the rest isn't really my thing at all

"Sex is so very complicated to him. He wants it, he doesn’t want it. It feels good…he’s never in the mood. He wants physical contact…he doesn’t want that much…but yeah sometimes he does? He’s all very confused about himself. "[X]MORE head cannon stuff. Almost done, over halfway. Even not identifying as ace I get this. Relatable, personal .

"Kal could totally be an indicator of “Hey I need attention, love me plz.” "[X]more head cannon stuff, almost done.

"They feel alone in the world, walking beside people who don’t really belong to them but are there all the same."[X]they being Steve Rogers and Clark Kent - so on point!

"I have all this pent up emotion and nowhere to put it, and my boys are beautifully conveying and taking out their motions while I put my fist through the bathroom mirror."[X]ahhh.

"Steve's stomach gurgles noisily and Bucky laughs. "If I could move right now, I'd make you pancakes, but it's going to have to wait until morning.""[X]sex burns calories

"alfred ['s Tumblr]: guns and sometimes miniature cakes"[X]comments

"He wants to live on steamed dumplings from now on."[X]I'm with you Barnes, they are good! "He wakes up early in the morning blanketed by the full-size chest of Captain America. Talk about purple mountains' majesty."[X]lol

"Steve sleeps in the day when he isn’t out and then he’s up all night, up all night long, finding something to do, jogging, TV, sitting at the window, all night, all night."[X]yeah, depression

"Steve hops up on the washing machine, swinging his legs – they’re only a couple scant inches off the ground, but he likes doing it"[X]relatable

"the tired face of Bruce Banner overlayed with that of the Hulk"[X: story 2]imagery. Draw. "Steve from Brooklyn was still there since Bucky could see him. He didn't need any other assurance."[X: story 3]comments

"well, i say bopped–it was the sort of wild swing you take with a frypan when someone startles you in the kitchen."[X]hilarious

"led by the bastard child of paul bunyan and lady liberty"[X]what a way to describe Captain America

"Okay, guys, fair warning, this is gonna get pretty meta pretty fast. Because you know that I love Cap-spotting as much as the next person, and this comm is literally one of the most uplifting places on the internet right now, because it’s first and foremost about human connection and how heroes really are just like us, and they go out to get Chipotle or whatever, and we desperately need that in this shit show that’s called our lives, especially after what happened in NYC."[ch1]okay, this makes sense, though privacy should also be a thing... Maybe there's not pictures? Then the continuation! "[stan the smithsonian guard] also got a photo out of this, and the opportunity to tell cap that his older brother fought in the 107th during the war and knew bucky barnes. cap apparently got a little choked up. can’t blame him."[ch3]poor guard on duty when Cap took back his uniform... Stan even gets cameos in fics "and i heard pepper potts might have implied a thing or two right after it turned out bucky was alive, and even the paps are scared shitless of that woman. AS THEY VERY WELL SHOULD BE."[ch3]oh the things that could get done if Peggy and Pepper were in the same time! "Other auctioned “items” include a self-defense lesson with Natasha Romanoff, archery practice with Clint Barton and Kate Bishop, and a day in a lab with Tony Stark, and they will all be donated by the happy winners to the beneficiaries of the Youth Program at the Potts Foundation."[ch3]YEEEEES! "And it was nice to see that you can come back from something like this, maybe not whole, but at least not completely shattered, you know. Reassuring. "[ch3]motivational "We don’t want Captain America, the hero who’s supposed to represent the majority of Americans, to be someone we can’t identify with at all because of the lifestyle he chooses."[ch3]a haters comment. Me: so the majority of Americans can't relate to following one's heart toward happiness?!

"It’s been nice to have people around him he can indulge skin hunger with as much as his libido."[X]a friwnds Tumblr. I'm not sure (or maybe I just don't have the energy to analyse it) why this quote stood out to me...

"Sure, he didn't need glasses, and sure, they were practically useless, but they were badass. Plus they made the world look purple"[X]not overall relevant but a cute warming read "Natasha winds up throwing Clint down the garbage chute and if that's not some kind of metaphor for Clint's life he doesn't know what is."[X]lol!

"Put on one of these obnoxious Christmas monstrosities that Tony has decided to inflict on us and get up to the main floor, because when I say that Santa has been, man has he been."[X]comments "Nope, it’s 9am. That is not too early. It’s Christmas, stop being such a Russian humbug and get up."[X]little 3+1 Christmas fic

[rowanartist]

Fan fiction quotes 2017: (part 1)

<p>“[Steve and Bucky] start a scholarship fund for Women in STEM students and name it after Peggy Carter”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/7216216 ”>notes of ao3 fic</a><i>yes!</i></p>

<p>“Maybe it was why he was failing so horribly now, he was too wrapped up in thinking to actually focus on the too-soft task that was quite literally at hand.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2664575 ”>X</a><i>personally relatable, overthinking</i></p>

<p>“He tries not to, but Steve gets that cold, sick feeling that he always gets, whenever somebody talks about him being attractive. He knows how he looks, and he can’t spend two minutes online without being reminded that the world is a big fan of the strong body and jaw that the serum gave him. He just wishes it didn’t feel so much like it’s because being scrawny and sick was some kind of aberration that had been corrected. That he wasn’t worth a dime of love or affection until he was Captain America.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/6829822/chapters/15589036 ”>ch1</a><i>while this might be a more extreme case, what are you supposed to do with being called beautiful? It’s nice to hear but also confusing, there’s more to me.</i>

<br/>““Dracula,” Nat says simply, and heads for the elevator. Romania, then.<br/>

–<br/>

“I’ll bring garlic!” Steve calls after her, and she sends him a smile over her shoulder.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/6829822/chapters/15600958”>ch2</a><i>amusing and playful. Made me smile</i>

<br/>“Tony Stark is a good person to cry in front of. He’ll only ever mock your strengths, not your weaknesses.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/6829822/chapters/15602059 ”>[ch3]</a><i>interesting characterization of Tony</i></p>

<p>“Ma'am, this is Steve Rogers. Yes ma'am, that one. I appear to have an unconscious HYDRA operative on my front stoop. Yes ma'am. Tied up with his own jacket. There is a gun, ma'am, but its barrel is currently at a 90-degree angle. I guess I need … the FBI? No ma'am, I have no earthly idea.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752638/chapters/4525644 ”>[X: ch9]</a><i>funny, :)</i>

<br/>“chewing on the totally amazing future invention that is grilled cheese with egg and ham on it (seriously: why do these people still have wars)”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752638/chapters/4667241”>[X:ch10]</a><i>I’ve never tried egg on a grilled cheese…</i>

<br/>“Hey. Note: it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752638/chapters/5666021”>[X:ch20]</a><i>good note.</i>

<br/>“His anger is a sound between his ears like a train. It is a tight band around his chest. It is hands that ache to do violence.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752638/chapters/5838920 ”>[X:ch23]</a><i>seems like good wording</i></p>

<p>“He started sketching Bucky out dancing, spinning a dame around with a huge grin plastered on his mug. He penciled in a big ol’ bow on the back of her dress like she was the best present a guy could want. But the picture was still all about Bucky. The crinkles around his eyes, staring Steve down with a challenge for him to get out there and have a whirl. Steve could hear Bucky’s laugh now.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/9065917?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>pretty picture </i>

<br/>“Steve was a furnace built of muscle and good intentions, held together with a Brooklyn drawl and a heap of sass. ”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/9065917?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>lol</i></p>

<p>“It’s not that different from close quarters fighting, really,” she told him. “Think of it like you’re trying to block me from getting past you, but do it to the beat. Stay loose and ready to move in any direction.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1663649?view_adult=true”>[X]</a><i>found because I liked some of the authors other works and the Fandom. I don’t have any experience with fighting and little with dancing but it would make sense from the grace of good fight scenes in movies and tv.</i>

<br/>“I need to be able to trust anyone I’d want to go to bed with, not necessarily be in love with them.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1663649?view_adult=true”>[X]</a><i>interesting idea…</i></p>

<p>“A son’s faith in his father is absolute when he is small; especially when that father is the only parent the boy has”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/908432/chapters/1758879 ”>[ch7]</a><i>part of growing up is learning and accepting that your parents are wrong, and sometimes it takes someone special to tell you </i></p>

<p>“Badass by day, adorably snuggling our nightmares away by night.”<a href =“ https://unclesteeb.tumblr.com/post/144820646186/okay-but-hear-me-out-imagine-if-bucky-had-a-falcon?is_related_post=1”>[X]</a><i>stumbled along this because of another post and tumblr’s check out other posts feature…</i></p>

<p>“The Hulk is part of you, but he’s not all of you. We know that,”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/4907305”>[X]</a><i>a reread, i don’t think I pulled this quote our last time. Reread because of another quote <a href=“http://rowanartist.tumblr.com/post/159323582374/when-were-hurting-by-tasteissweet-i-read-this”> [quote art]</a></i></p>

<p>“Reviewing what he knew of both [Peggy and Nat], Bucky wondered for a moment if he should be afraid, but figured that they would both take a ‘firm, but fair’ attitude when they ruled the world.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/8462317”>[ch2]</a><i>believable </i>

</br>“Sorry. Just.” Bucky let go, but made Steve meet his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m not nagging, honestly.”

</br>–<br/>

“He cares about you, Steve, and is telling you so,” Peggy said. “Accept it like the fucking adult you are.”

</br>–<br/>

<b>“I have cartoon pajamas, I am not an adult,” Steve informed her.</b>

”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/8586082 ”>[ch4]</a><i>the bold could have been a quote on its own, but on a more serious note I wanted the rest of the conversation…</i>

</br>“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be married to the angriest saint in the world?”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/8949295 ”>[ch 10]</a><i>amusing…</i>

</br>“He’s good and giving and kind, and sometimes he doesn’t feel well and is under the impression that it cancels out everything else.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/8949295 ”>[ch10]</a><i>I relate, it can be hard when you’re frustrated and angry with yourself </i>

</br>““Have fun,” Peggy said, and physically shoved him away from Steve and out the door, because she was very helpful like that.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/9068359 ”>[ch12]</a><i>yeah, I’ve had a few moments like that…</i>

</br>““I don't not enjoy having you here,” Steve said, pushing up on one elbow. “Bucky, don’t ever think that. It’s more like…I can’t feel anything. Like I go numb, and don’t care. And that mixes with sadness, sometimes,” he admitted. “But mostly it’s just…dull. And awful. But I still know that someone loves me and is here and cares.””<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861/chapters/9291213 ”>[ch16]</a><i>ponder</i>

</br>Same series

</br>“Bite your tongue. There are so many ways to love people, and you got to do them all today,” Bucky pointed out. “It’s a perfect Valentine’s Day. One love isn’t better than the other, and it shouldn’t be given priority.””<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/6002830”>[X]</a><i>interesting point, Valentine’s day really doesn’t have to be about couples/romantic relationships, but all types of important relationships!</i>

</br>Same Series

</br>“there’s a middle ground between throwing a fit and being completely determined to not bleed on anyone else,” ”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/5046757/chapters/11604511?view_adult=true ”>[ch1]</a><i>But finding that middle ground can be difficult. I also feel Steve’s response when Bucky said that Steve had a “shit day”: </i>“Plenty of people have had worse days,”</p>

<p>"“Bucky you’re having a panic attack and I need you to listen to me. I need you to breathe. Focus on me okay? Focus on me and try to breathe with me.””<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2368673?view_adult=true ”>[part5]</a><i>handling a panic attack. Sometimes it can be hard to accept the help remembering to breathe, like I messed up and don’t deserve it. </i>

</br>“Felt the need to explain himself more, as though acting without talking through it first was dangerous”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2368673?view_adult=true ”>[part+1]</a><i>kinda get this for different reasons?</i></p>

<p>“Anytime [Bucky] managed to scrape together enough money after all the bills, he dragged Steve to the latest exhibit, marveling over everything. Steve, tending to look at things through a more artistic gaze, gaped at the beauty of science and Bucky’s child-like enthusiasm.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/collections/stevebuckyspringfling/works/3576894?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>I’m not sure which one I’m more like.</i>

</br>“Getting his overactive mind to shut the fuck up is a work in progress.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/collections/stevebuckyspringfling/works/3576894?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>yeah, I know the feeling</i>

</br>“as if [Bucky]’s the sunshine to cut through Steve’s rain.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/collections/stevebuckyspringfling/works/3576894?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>just really nice turn of phrase </i>

</br>““You’re thinking too hard.” A whisper. A life boat to which Steve shamelessly clings to.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/collections/stevebuckyspringfling/works/3576894?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>isn’t it nice to let yourself do that? </i>

</br>“I love spending time with you. I don’t regret a single second of it. I don’t need my space. But a relationship is between equals, Steve. After everything that happened, I needed to find myself apart from you, like you have. We needed to get back on the same page”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/collections/stevebuckyspringfling/works/3576894?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>maybe. Standing on your own doesn’t necessarily mean space. I will need to work on that some day, reaching out and making my own place. </i></p>

<p>“But this means showing emotion or allowing himself to feel. It means overwhelming himself, easily. It means not being able to convey everything he’s feeling ending in frustration ending in doubt, leading to locking himself up in a room. He hates it.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/10261793 ”>[X]</a><i>comments</i></p>

<p>“The Winter Soldier,” Stark repeats. “Freezer Burn, the Russian Mob. Ice Ice Baby. Sid Vicious, the White Russian, Psychosicle, MC Hammer and Sickle–”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1710950?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>I like the variety of nicknames, quite a few I haven’t seen before.</i></p>

<p>“Wow,” the man says, without introducing himself. “Guess they did freeze at the peak of freshness”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1609838/chapters/3528731”>[ch11]</a><i>lol, very Tony like </i></p>

<p>“Yes, okay, so you’re Bucky Barnes and you’re President Barnes’ son and that holds a lot of weight. But you could have chosen not to go. You could have said that it wasn’t your problem and just stayed home. But you went, and you talked to those people and you inspired them and you showed them solidarity. That was all you, and that counts. No matter what you think, that counts.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1555589/chapters/3349619”>[ch4]</a><i>choosing to try to make a difference, no matter how seemingly small , can be very important</i>

</br>“I’m the only person who ever gives it to you straight. Which is ironic seeing you’re as straight as a paperclip!”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1555589/chapters/3628922”>[ch16]</a><i>not straight jokes are kinda amusing. I’m not sure if that’s problematic or not… </i>P.S. once I finished the fic I realized how much I liked Aunt Helen!</p>

<p>“He’s an adult, you can’t trust him to do the job correctly.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/1257214/chapters/2588569”>[ch12]</a><i>this fic is also in my fic rec. These kids are hilarious!</i>

</br>“Not really much to tell.” He shrugged. “Best friend. Prat. Housemate. Sometimes co-parent, sometimes yet another child to look after. That sums everything up perfectly.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1257214/chapters/2588569 ”>[ch12]</a><i>amusing</i></p>

<p>“Hlupak—Czech word for "idiot”. I have arbitrarily decided that Czech and Sokovian share some vocabulary, including insults. It is also my headcanon that hlupak was something Wanda called Pietro a LOT.“<a href =”http://archiveofourown.org/works/7154279/chapters/16242866 “>[ch1:end chapter notes]</a><i>lol</i></p>

<p>"wondering whether the total inability to sleep is a side effect of the serum or a side effect of his life.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/5455307 ”>[X]</a><i>sounds like a conundrum </i>

</br>“"I know my brother. He would never be happy without somewhere to run.”“<a href =” http://archiveofourown.org/works/5455307 “>[X]</a>

</br>"You’d be smarter to stay out of this,” Steve warns.

</br>–<br/>

“I don’t believe intelligence was mentioned in the orientation packet.”

</br>–<br/>

“That’s 'cause we’re all idiots. I don’t want you to lose your home, Wanda.

”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/5455307 ”>[X]</a><i>yup</i>I wish there was more.</p>

<p>“As much as you can,” he said, “stay in the eye.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/8951695”>[X]</a><i>odd little fic but not bad </i></p>

<p>“Right. Does that mean Iron Man’s gonna come get you?”

</br>–<br/>

“Captain America—actually.” Purple Shirt groans as he tries to sit up. “He—worries too much.

”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/5690638”>[X]</a><i>that sounds likely :)</i>

</br>“You carried an orphaned kitten around in your jacket for like a week. You want me to be scared of you? Try harder.”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/5690638”>[X]</a><i>cute</i></p>

<p>“Faint gamma signature, uncomfortably <b>familiar shade of mindfuck blue</b>, localized weirdness… You know, I really hate portals. Have I mentioned how much I hate portals?”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3305363 ”>[X]</a><i>the bold bit was particularly amusing, in the laugh in order to not be negative way </i>

</br>“Scientist wrangler and pop-culture expert,” Darcy interrupted cheerfully.“<a href =” http://archiveofourown.org/works/3305363“>[X]</a><i>nice intro for Darcy! </i>

</br>"Think about it. My lady love, your lady love, every terrifying woman they know, bonding…”“<a href =” http://archiveofourown.org/works/3305363

“>[X]</a><i>Peggy, Pepper, Nat, Jane, Darcy, Maria, Kate maybe others…</i>

</br>"Sam was wearing his<i> you’re being stupid right now face</i>”<a href =“ http://archiveofourown.org/works/3305363”>[X]</a><i>most characterizations of him he does this enough it’s a know thing </i>

</br>“Frank Sinatra launched into a jazzy rendition of "I’ll Be Seeing You,” the opening number of Darcy’s “Old People” playlist. "<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3305363 ”>[X]</a><i>of course Darcy has an “Old People” playlist. Followed by: Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; You’d Be So Nice To Come Home To by Dinah Shore</i> more from the comments: “The Trolley Song” (because Darcy is terrible), and ends with Vera Lynn singing “We’ll Meet Again.”

</br>“So they were there like gentlemen, waiting on the sidelines and holding Peggy’s flower while she kicked that Bad Week’s ass.”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/comments/23948753 ”>[X]</a><i>a quote from the comments; I like it for the facing hardships motto…</i>

</br>“The archer plays Cupid!”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/comments/63359908 ”>[X]</a><i>more from the comments </i></p>

</br>

*<a href=“http://brendaonao3.tumblr.com/post/127337810589/brendas-long-ass-under-appreciated-fanfics”><b>brendaonao3.tumblr.com:</b> Brenda’s Long-Ass Under-Appreciated Fanfics Appreciation/Rec Post</a> Part 1*

<p>“he hated making Bucky worry for no good reason, mostly because of how often he made Bucky worry with reason”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2401985 ”>[X]</a><i>not really sure how I feel about it, characters seem good but I’m not sure I feel the chemistry? </i></p>

<p>“Iron Man pinned to the ground, held down by Alice and the White Rabbit while the Mad Hatter bashed at his helmet with a teacup”<a href =“http://archiveofourown.org/works/3558500?view_adult=true ”>[X]</a><i>very amusing and I should draw. Statues.(Also, later:“That’s a big whale”)</i></p>