#honestly wish i had her confidence like i'm too scared to watch my shows or read fanfic bc what if someone sees my screen and she's out her

[worldsbiggestnerd101]

today i saw this girl in my grade with a binder that had a bunch of hazbin hotel characters/stickers plastered onto the front and i'm just over here wondering how on earth she's not getting bullied for that because i feel too cringe to post about me watching the show on here despite this being the "cringe culture is dead" hellsite and she's just out here chilling in high school with that like how is she not made fun of to hell and back

[leggerefiore]

A while ago I saw this trend (?) where someone would follow their partner around for a while without saying anything. Like whenever their partner would ask what they were doing they'd just stare at them like 🧍‍♀️ it was verry funny LMAO. How would fucked up hair trio (Volo, Lear and Grims) react to their S/O doing that?

(Also I feel you whenever I see you post about ur job. I have never felt less confident in myself than when I have to work in retail 💀)

(retail is a form of psychological torture.)

cw: mentions of knives in Volo's part, mostly worrying about being followed

characters: Grimsley, Lear, Volo

♠️Grimsley❤️

♤ The gambler was always so aware of his surroundings. He had to be, naturally. His position as an heir to a wealthy family had set him up to be used to cruelty and possible threats even as a small child. He was simply aware of his safety. Then, in becoming a gambler, he further honed that skill. Not to mention, his poor Liepard seemed just on edge. Someone was following him. Why? Well, he could assume a few reasons. He was not the most beloved person and maybe owed a few too many people money. He flipped a coin as he kept himself in mostly populated streets. Though, when, he finally gained an opportunity to glance at who was stalking after him. He blinked. What…?

♡ “Darling?” He called out as he turned around fully to face you. His mind rushed with possible reasons. Did you think he was cheating and decided to follow after him? He tilted his head and waited for a reply. You gave none, however. Your eyes simply peered into him. It was truthfully a bot unsettling… You were not exactly the type to do things like that. His hand found his Liepard's fur as he pet her. Was this… some kind of game? A challenge, perhaps? For what goal or gain? He rushed with so many possibilities, but nothing came out right. You were simply just following him. It was unsettling, but there was nothing he could do. He wandered back to the apartment you both shared.

◇ Stopping in front of the door, he glanced at you on the other end of the hallway. You simply stood there. He had enough. Grimsley walked towards you with a brisk pace and found himself staring deeply into your eyes with his piercing own. The icy blue could send a shiver down most people's spines. He watched as you finally gave a reaction, shrinking back a bit. A chuckle left him. “Oh, man, is my cute stalker scared?” he shook his head and caught your chin with his hand, “How about a role reversal? I'm pretty good with going undetected.” Suddenly, you broke down and explained it was a prank. He tilted his head. While he did not really get it, to each their own, he supposed. He did want to repay the favour, though.

👑Lear💎

🪙 The prince was a busy man. He had places to be and duties to tend to. This tended to give him a certain aloofness that others tended to notice. Though, he was still trained from a young age to be aware of his surroundings. He was entirely competent about what was happening around him. Which is why he noticed a certain oddity as he engaged in his various duties. Someone had been following him. No, not either of his retainers, who were at his side. He felt unsettled. Horror stories of attacks on various figureheads played on his mind, but he refused to show any weakness. He was going to be king. These little things could not bother him. Yet, at the same time, he simply had to look. His gaze fell back to see who dared followed him. A deadpan then fell across his face.

🪙 “I order you to stop trailing behind me at a distance of about three metres!” he ordered, “If you wish to travel with me, your place is at my side!” Sawyer and Rachel turned around to see you just standing there. You stared at them without saying a word. Lear honestly felt a bit discomforted by your actions. What in the world were you doing? Knowing it was only you following him had relieved a lot of his concerns but left him confused. You were more than welcome to join him in his tasks…? He rather enjoyed having you at his side. Yet, you did not move unless he did. It was oddly frustrating. Sawyer scratched his head at the situation while Rachel clearly was fighting back a laugh.

🪙 This continued on until he grew far too frustrated with the situation. Why on earth were you doing this!? He could not comprehend why you would wish to follow him rather than come to your rightful place at his side. It felt as if you were subtly rejecting him! He crossed his arms and gave up on whatever needed his attention. It was not urgent enough. Stomping toward you, he grasped your wrist. This seemed to snap you out of whatever had overcome you. He pulled you along to where his retainers waited for him. “You belong here,” he grumbled, “Whyever would you follow me…?” Lear shifted to grasping your hand. He simply refused to comprehend and was only mildly annoyed by the situation.

📜Volo💫

⭐️ The merchant had a terrifying awareness of the world around him. Nothing slipped by him, and it was truly both a curse and a blessing for him. He was always cursed with an innate curiosity that seemed to torture him. Though, it also benefitted him. He was fully aware that someone was following after him. His movements were deliberately made to see if it was mere coincidence or purposeful. He determined the latter and grew more worried. Was someone aware of his intentions? Did they plan to attack him? He certainly was not going to allow that to occur. A knife he kept on his person for protection had his hand resting on it. He turned around to catch the pursuer unawares. Yet, as he went to pull out the knife, he froze dead in his tracks.

⭐️ “… What in the world are you doing?” he retracted his hands and crossed his arms. You stood just a few metres behind him, watching him ominously. This would have made him nervous had he not already been aware that you were not possibly with knowledge of his plans. He waited for you to reply, but nothing ever came from you. This immensely frustrated him. He could have attacked you — Many times, the merchant had to deal with bandits attempting to steal his goods and possibly his life. The blond shook his head when you only stared at him wordlessly. This was not something that he could dare to stand for.

⭐️ With eerie speed, he approached you and caught your wrist in his hand. A single grey eye stared through your very being. Whatever resolve you had to keep pranking, the merchant faded, and you shook your head, trying to explain just what was happening. Your words calmed the panicked thoughts in Volo's mind. He had been utterly terrified you had somehow uncovered something. “… I see, I see,” he tried to pretend he was not a hypocrite who had not followed you around himself, “Well, I must say… I had thought it was a bandit. Please be more careful.” He brought a hand to cup your cheek while stroking it with his thumb. When he parted, you felt oddly on edge. The blond simply kept walking as he had before.

[video-gh0st]

So back in June I watched all the Ghostbusters films cause it was the anniversary of the original movie and I thought I'd do a quick bullet point review since it's been a bit since I watched them all together.

Ghostbusters (1984)

It's still a classic. Has memorable moments that will live on.

Fun scenes. Going after Slimer is always silly and chaotic.

Peter Venkman is a rough. I actually had a person tell me that Venkman is the reason why they never watched the first movie, and I don't blame them.

Wish there was a bit more build up to the confrontation with Gozer. Would be neat if they kept uncovering clues rather than just the moment they figured it out in the jail cell.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

I don't know why people dunk on this movie, it's great!

You can tell the cast and crew are having more fun and things are a bit more fleshed out.

Venkman actually has some good character growth and is not a total creep!

I actually like the build up to the climax on this one. Throughout the movie, there's a focus on the slime buildup in the city and the flow of the story feels good.

Some fun light scares.

I kinda don't like the whole "the ghosts just stop showing up" thing. It's a trope specifically for this franchise that's not really explained. Just "yeah nothing happened between the movies and people think, we're frauds again! Gotta do it all over again!"

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

This movie gets a lot of undeserved hate thrown towards it for being the female lead reboot. A bunch of misogynist trolls threw a fit and never gave it a shot the moment it was announced.

The cast was great tbh. Everyone seemed to gel with one another.

Chris Hemsworth plays a himbo and we see him with his shirt off.

I really like the main antagonist in this movie. I think his character could have been fleshed out a bit more, but still fun idea.

The gear looks really cool in this movie.

Some scenes do keep going a bit too long and has like not good Saturday Night Live skit energy. I think they relied a bit too much on improv.

How the fuck is Chris Hemsworth the funniest motherfucker alive and why is he so cute?

There's a teeny tiny bit a queerness in this story, but I also feel like there's themes of found family going on here too and I like that.

Chris Hemsworth plays a himbo and we see him with his shirt off.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Trailers do this movie a disservice by making it feel like it's going for a Stranger Things feel, kinda relying a bit too much on nostalgia or even doing the "wow kids these days." It just felt like they didn't have any confidence on the movie itself when marketing this tbh.

The tone is a bit more serious, but honestly I'm fine with it. Still has some funny moments, but it's leaning more into the horror part a bit more.

Watching Phoebe learn more about her grandfather is honestly fun. And this movie does a great job with handing things off to a new generation in a way that doesn't feel like it's disingenuous.

Literally cried at the end. Honestly that ending felt wonderful and it felt like a good tribute to Harold Ramis.

I don't know why, but my first watch of this last year wasn't as good as the second watch this year. I don't know what happened. But I remember the first time I watched this and felt like it was just ok but not my favorite. Maybe it was just a bit of frustration that the sequel to Answer the Call got cancelled before it could even get into full production.

I appreciate the movie using some practical effects. There are just certain elements that you can't mess with in Ghostbusters movie and they nailed it.

Muncher is my least favorite ghost tbh. Idk, there are people who love Muncher and I do like the tardigrade inspired design, but idk, they didn't appeal to me like the other ghosts did.

[beelsbaby]

Rhino Beetle

Iwaizumi x Fem!Reader

wc: 1735

Warnings: None! :))

I love Iwa-Chan so much and I just want to show him so love🥺

I hope you guys enjoy the fic🥰

Iwaizumi grunted as he walked alongside Oikawa, who was going on about how “horrible” Kentaro had been at practice the day before. He was more occupied watching how the snow fell gracefully upon the school grounds. 

  “Iwa-chan! Are you even listening?” Oikawa complained when he finally realized his friend wasn’t looking at him. 

  “No, obviously.” Iwaizumi grunted back.

  “You never listen to me, Iwa-chan, as your captain you should—”

  Iwaizumi immediately turned his head when he heard a shriek coming from a few feet behind him. He turned to see you on the ground. He recognized you. Y/n. You were in his class. Of course he knew you, you were beautiful, extremely kind, and one of the top students in the class. You were planted on the ground, with all your belongings scattered around you, while your giggling friends rushed to pick you up. 

  “Iwaaaa! You're not listening! You break my—” Oikawa turns to see his friend is no longer next to him, so he looks around to find him, smirking at the sight when he finally located him. 

  “You're so clumsy, Y/n!” One of your friends giggled as she cautiously walked over to you. You gave her a small laugh as you tried to stand, only to fall back down on your butt. Your fiends all started to laugh again until suddenly, they simultaneously stopped. 

  “Excuse me ladies.” You look up to see Iwaizumi Hajime, the ace of the volleyball team, looking at you. 

  “O-oh! Iwaizumi-san! What’s wrong?” Your friend stutters out. He looked at her and then at you. 

  “Are you alright, Y/n-chan?” 

  Your friends look at him in shock. The team’s ace was a pretty intimidating guy. He usually carries a scowl on his face and beats the poor captain. Yet here he is, asking if you were okay. 

  “Yes, I’m okay, just a little fall.” You giggle out nervously. Unlike your friends who found him intimidating, you always thought he was attractive. 

  Iwaizumi extends his hand to you, which you hesitantly take. He lifts you up like it’s nothing, gently putting you back on your feet. Your friends scatter to pick up your belongings. 

  “T-thank you!” You squeal out, not feeling confident enough to look up at his handsome face. He looks at you with a small frown. 

  “You’re afraid of me.” He states. 

  Your head shoots up to see him looking down at you with his arms crossed.

  “W-what?” You look at him with wide eyes.

  He scoffs, “Tch. Sorry I wasn't Oikawa.” He turns arounds and walks into the school building. You try to call after him but he was already gone.

  Iwaizumi always thought you were smart and really pretty, so when he saw you in need of help he thought it was the perfect opportunity to come to your aid. But you couldn't even look him in the eyes. He knew he was pretty intimidating, he’s heard the whispers about him. The Scary Ace of Aoba Johsai. He just thought that maybe you’d think he was just a regular guy. You had always been so nice to everyone, but of course you’d think he was scary. You probably liked Oikawa. Who didn’t. 

  “Iwachaaaan! Who was the pretty girl you helped? You have a secret girlfriend, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa wiggled his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.

  “No, Shittykawa. Obviously not.” He scowled. Oikawa cocked his head in confusion, “What do you mean, Iwa-chan?”

  “I mean, why would she like me? All I am is your scary vice captain.” He said through gritted teeth. Oikawa sighed at his best friend, “Not true!” 

  Oikawa had never seen Iwaizumi look so down before, especially not for a girl. He had to fix this. 

  “I’ll see you later, Iwa-chan, i see some of my fans waiting to escort me to class!” Oikawa said. 

  “You better not be late to your class, Trashykawa!” exclaimed Iwaizumi. 

  Oikawa looks over to the opposite side of the hall, he spots you and a friend walking up the stairs. He smirks and saunt his way over to you.

  “Hey pretty ladies!”

  You look up to see Oikawa Toru smirking down at you and your friend.

   “O-oikawa-kun! Good morning!” Your friend stutters out. You playfully roll your eyes, all of your friends had a crush on Oikawa. Sure, he was cute, but you just seemed to like a certain scowling ace.

  “Good morning, Oikawa. Is there something you need?” You greet. 

  He smiles brightly, no doubt making your friend’s heart stop.

  “Well, I’m going to get straight to the point. Are you scared of Iwa-chan?” He asked.

  You widen your eyes in shock. Did Iwaizumi really think you were scared of him? This was a huge misunderstanding, you weren’t scared of him at all! 

  “N-no! Not at all, Oikawa-san! Does he really think that?” You say

  “Yup.” Oikawa nods at you.

  “No, it's not that I’m scared of him, it’s that… nevermind, just tell him I am so so sorry! I'm not scared of him.” You sigh as you try to walk away.

  Oikawa chuckles, “So you like him.”

  You freeze at his statement. He wasn’t asking you, he was stating it. 

  “You should tell him you're not afraid of him yourself. Poor guy is in a nasty little funk.” 

  “Maybe you’re right, I’ll tell him after class.” You nod. Maybe Oikawa had a point, you didn’t want to make Iwaizumi feel bad over something that wasn’t true. You just hoped he wasn’t upset with you. 

  “Fantastic! Let me know how that goes!” Oikawa exclaims. 

  “Okay?” You say, confused that he’s so invested in the situation. 

  “Well, class is about to start, catch you later pretty ladies” Oikawa says as he throws a wink to your friend. 

  “I can’t believe The Oikawa Toru talked to us, Y/n! This is the best day of my life!” She squealed.

  “You’re ridiculous.” You mutter out playfully as you walk into your class. 

  You walked into your class, straight to your desk, not catching how Iwaizumi’s eyes wistfully followed you until you reached your seat. He wished you weren't so afraid of him. You were the only girl he’d ever like this much. Whenever he’d see you, even from a distance, his palms would go all sweaty. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or disappointed that he’d never seen you at one of his games. Relieved that he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of you but disappointed that you haven’t seen him in his element. 

   As the class came to an end, you quickly gathered your belongings. You wanted to catch Iwaizumi before he disappeared into the sea of students. You see him get up and walk towards the door.

  “Wait, Iwazumi!” You cling onto his volleyball jacket sleeve.

  You feel him come to a halt, slowly turning around. He looked down at you and raised his brow, “Y/n-chan? What do you want?” He was confused, you were so scared this morning, what did you want?

 “I wanted to apologize.. For this morning, I’m afraid I gave you the wrong impression! I talked to your friend, Oikawa-san, and he told me you were upset, I’m so sorry!” You say bashfully.

 So that’s why you were talking to him. Oikawa probably shot you his signature smile and asked you to apologize to him. And you probably fell for it, too. But he didn’t need your fake apology. Iwaizumi pulled his sleeve out of your grasp, “Whatever.” He grunted. He shot you one more quick glance and started to walk away.

  “Wait, Iwaizumi!” You called after him. He ignored you, almost wanting to return back, your siren-like voice practically begging for him to come back. You look at him, knowing you had to do something, anything, to call him back. As you follow him out to the hallway, you glance down at his bookbag, noticing a dangling keychain.

  “Rhino beetle!” You yell out to him, gathering some strange looks from those who heard you.

  Iwaizumi halts completely, did you just call him a rhino beetle? 

  He turns around to face you, you take the opportunity to quickly jog up to him. 

  “Did you just call me a rhino beetle?” He stares at you incredulously. You give him a little giggle and he feels the world come to a stop. He’s never heard such a beautiful sound. 

  “No, I mean the little rhino beetle on your bookbag.” You said while trying to hold in your laugh. He looks down at his beetle keychain. Oh.

  “Oh… You know about the rhinoceros beetle?” He asked. 

  You nod, “Yeah! Honestly, I think they’re a little cute, like little tiny baby rhinos.”

  You thought an insect was… cute? Iwaizumi wanted to marry you right then and there.

  “Iwaizumi, I’m not afraid of you, by the way. I never was afraid of you. You do make me nervous, but not because I'm scared.” You confess.

  “You make me a little nervous, too.” He responds while scratching the back of his neck.

  “Why?” You give him a small smile.

  Iwaizumi blushes a little, “Well, you're very.. Uh.. pretty and you're smart. Your intelligence is really admirable.”

  “I think you're very pretty, too… wait no, not pretty, uh… attractive.” You let out a small cough to cover up your embarrassment. 

  Iwaizumi smiles at you. It must be his lucky day. 

  “Hey, do you want to maybe come to my place after practice? I have a book of different insect species we can read about… if you want?” He asks you.

  You smile up at him, “Sure, that sounds like fun! But on one condition?” You respond.

  “What’s the condition?” He asked, a little wary of your condition. 

  “Can I watch you practice? If that’s not too weird!” You ask.

  You wanted to watch him practice? Oh, he’ll definitely be at his absolute best today.

  “Yeah, you can definitely come watch. I’ll.. um.. spike pretty hard for you.”

  “You better!” You laugh.

  He chuckles along with you, “Oh, I definitely will.”

  You both walk in a comfortable silence towards the cafeteria until you both heard someone running up behind you. 

  “Oh, Iwa-chaaan! What’s all this?” Oikawa asks while getting in between you both, wrapping his arms over both of your shoulders.

  “Damn you, Shittykawa! Why don’t you go bother someone else?!” Iwaizumi yells as he smacks his friend’s head. You just giggle and roll your eyes. No matter how scary Iwaizumi tried to be, you’d always find him absolutely adorable. He really was a rhino beetle after all.

✨Request are open for fics, hcs, and scenarios! ✨

Please don’t steal my work :)

[charming-2d-boys]

I'm about to get stupid specific! May I please have some Hisoka who's s/o has kids from a previous relationship (that he is very attached to) with 31 when the kids bio father tries rejoining their lives out of nowhere? Please and thank you!

Anon, I love you so much for this request! 😭💞

I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did! 🙇

31. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”

A/N: a bit long, but I had too much fun and I just love the idea since I read something like this with other HxH characters by @ask-hunterxhunter (definitely recommend them, their writing is awesome and really well-thought).

Also, (E/N) stands for “ex’s name”.

-----

   When you had gotten into a relationship with Hisoka, you were a bit apprehensive. Not just because of Hisoka’s personality, but also because of your little... secrets. Anyone could figure out at least some of the reasons why getting into a relationship while having kids from a previous relationship was something to be slightly scared of. This was exactly your case.

   Of course, you hadn’t told Hisoka that you had kids during your first date. Or the next one. You really didn’t think that you’d get to go on even more dates with Hisoka in the following weeks or months, but somehow, you did. You were both getting along and everything seemed to go well. Maybe there was hope for this unlikely relationship. Maybe it was because of this that you decided to have a serious talk with Hisoka.

   Even during this date, he was as charming and teasing as always. He seemed the same even when you told him that you wanted to talk, though you thought you saw his smile falter a little. Honestly, you weren’t feeling any better. Hisoka didn’t seem like the type to settle down anytime soon and the thought of one of the most exciting relationships you’ve ever had in years ending so abruptly honestly left you feeling uneasy. But your children were more important.

   And that’s exactly what you thought about as you told Hisoka everything: the failed relationship that resulted in your daughter and son being born, the heartbreak and hardships, and the dating. You explained it in simple terms but with a firm conviction: since the relationship was getting longer and serious, you thought it would be the right thing to do; but it all depended on him. Hisoka’s face that day really left you wondering: would it work out? Would he leave you like others did? Or would he be the one to actually stay and try to make it work?

   Turns out, after a few days of radio silence, Hisoka asked to see you again. At least he’d break up with you face to face.

   Imagine your shock when Hisoka said he’d be okay with trying to work it out. Your kids were a little hesitant, but definitely open to meeting someone their parent trusted. Your daughter had immediately taken the initiative, shaking his hand as she introduced herself, while her younger brother timidly copied her. He did seem to be more confident when around you and his sister, but this was one of the moments when it didn’t apply. Hisoka just knew that he liked them already: kind and polite, but also brave - just like you.

   Hisoka had grown attached to them quickly, as did they to him. He was fun, coloured, knew magic tricks and seemed to be a magnet, always playful and charming. He was always up for playing with them and enjoyed the fact that they looked up to him. It was like watching two ducklings follow their mother whenever he’d be on the phone, talking and pacing around while your kids followed behind him, eyes sparkling and admiring him as they talked quietly about his conversation, coming up with their own ideas and theories regarding the caller and subject. It never failed to amuse your boyfriend and in turn, you.

   You had to admit that one of the best moments was after around a year or so of Hisoka being around and already considered part of the family. Hisoka was staying in your shared bed, both your daughter and son on either side of him, arms over his waist as he was reading. Their eyes were slowly closing, though you could see the struggle to keep them open as they blearily looked at the colourful pictures and tried to pay attention to his voice. It was honestly hard not to giggle or coo at the sight. Your boyfriend glanced at you, smiling and winking before going back to the book, making your heart beat faster.

   As soon as he was sure that they were both asleep, he took your son in his arms while you took your daughter, slowly taking them to their actual beds in their bedroom next to yours. When you were ready to leave their room, as you left only their nightlight on, you heard your son wish him goodnight, calling him daddy afterwards. Hisoka automatically wished him goodnight and left with you to your shared bedroom. He was quiet until the both of you were ready to fall asleep and your fingers went over one of his cheeks.

   “He called me daddy... ♣” He said in a low voice, looking a little... lost? And also little happy? Worried? You couldn’t really tell.

   “Are you okay with that, Hisoka?” You were worried. Your kids already saw your boyfriend as their father, which was adorable. But what did he think about this?

   Hisoka was quiet for a few more seconds before nodding, placing his hand above your own and keeping them both on his cheek. It must’ve really struck him if he didn’t really know what to say. But he seemed happier the more he thought about it.

   Soon, both of your kids started calling him that and when they saw that Hisoka didn’t say anything and neither did you, it became something official. You didn’t feel the need to ask your boyfriend about whether he came to see your kids as his own. The way he acted with them and how he was actually treating them so gently and lovingly was enough proof of what he actually thought about this whole situation - a shock considering how Hisoka could be. The father role fit him pretty well and you were sure to tell him that constantly, one way or another.

   What neither of you were expecting was a surprise visit from the kids’ actual father. Just like you’d told Hisoka when he curiously asked you, their father had left soon after your son was born. Apparently, being a father wasn’t really his thing, as he’d put it. You suspected that the fact that he couldn’t live his youth anymore or be with anyone else were also deciding factors in his decision to just up and leave in the middle of the night. You hadn’t heard anything about him for years and the fact that he just showed up at your house during a weekend was both shocking and confusing. The anger soon followed.

   “Hey, (Y/N)! Long time, no see.” Your ex greeted you, a smile on his face and looking almost the same as the last time you’d seen him. You couldn’t utter a word, but your eyes were wide as you stared at him, almost thinking that maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. But it was real, you knew it, so you quickly snapped yourself out of your thoughts.

   “What are you doing here, (E/N)?” You wouldn’t let him come in. And you also hoped that Hisoka was still staying with the kids on the couch, all of them watching TV together.

   “I came to talk. About the kids. About us.”

   “There’s no us. There hasn’t been since you left.” You crossed your arms, glaring at him.

   “Oh, come on, you have to understand and get over it already! I was young! I was scared! I wasn’t ready to have a family and raise kids!”

   “And I was? You think I was any more prepared than you?” You almost shouted, before realising that you didn’t want your family coming over or even being seen by (E/N).

   “Look, I’m not here to fight. I want to talk to the kids. I want to get back into their lives and-”

   “No. Absolutely not. You left and that’s that. If you would’ve come after a bit of time, maybe I would’ve overlooked this. But you came now. After so many years.” Your ex opened his mouth before you felt a presence behind you. You felt Hisoka’s arm go around your waist protectively before he gently came to stand beside you, slightly pulling you so you weren’t in front, just in case something happened. Though you both doubted that.

   “And who might you be? ♣” Hisoka asked with a smile, though it was one that you had never seen before. It looked cold and sharp, like it could cut. Your ex gulped, clearly feeling the bloodlust aimed at him that was slowly growing in intensity.

   “I’m (E/N). I-I’m here to talk with my kids.” You felt your boyfriend tense just the slightest bit and he actually made a card appear between his pointer and middle fingers.

   “Since when do you get to decide that? I think my lovely (Y/N) right here is the one who gets to decide who the actual father is. ♣” The TV was still on and you actually looked behind, grateful that your children were still in the living room. You only hoped that things wouldn’t escalate, though you already had a feeling things wouldn’t go so smoothly.

   “I am their father! I get to decide when I want to see my kids!” (E/N) shouted angrily, apparently not caring about the bloodlust anymore. That is, until he felt it come in waves. Even you started sweating a bit, scared about Hisoka’s power. You hadn’t felt anything like this before, not even during his hardest matches at Heaven’s Arena. This was another type of bloodlust - it was more personal.

   “They’re not your kids, back the fuck off. ♣” Hisoka’s smile was completely gone and he almost seemed taller, more powerful than before. It was also one of the first times you’d heard him curse like that and were honestly worried about where you’d hide your ex’s body if he got murdered. You squeezed Hisoka’s bicep subconsciously when you saw (E/N) open his mouth again, only to see him stand frozen as a thin cut appeared on his neck. One corner of Hisoka’s card had a bit of blood on it and both you and your ex stared at it in shock. A trickle of blood slowly started going down, staining his shirt while Hisoka stared at him with anger and barely restrained murderous intention.

   “Leave. ♣”

   You had never seen anyone run so quickly in your life. (E/N) almost tripped as he tried to get away, not even glancing back as both you and your boyfriend stared at his retreating back until you couldn’t see him anymore. Hisoka’s arm pulled you into his side and he pressed a kiss to your temple, sighing and making you return to reality.

   “Are you okay?”

   “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that, lovely? ♦️” You assured him you were fine before the both of you went back inside, finding your kids playing together while the TV filled the background with noise.

   “Daddy, who was that at the door?” Your daughter asked, confused, especially when she saw that you were both a little more tense than before. She must’ve noticed that you were both taking your time at the door and the yelling probably made her take action, trying to distract her little brother before you both returned.

   “No one important, munchkin, don’t worry~ ♥️️” Both of your kids ran towards you and hugged you before Hisoka scooped them up in each arm, both hugging him and then pulling you in as well for a big group hug. Hisoka smirked and kissed you on the lips, making both of your kids say ewww loudly before he also kissed them on the cheeks, with you tickling them.

   “Can we have pizza for dinner?” Your son asked, looking at you with those big, innocent eyes of his.

   “Sure, go and choose the toppings and everything.” Hisoka put them down before they dashed to the kitchen, where the menus were. You boyfriend hugged you tightly, kissing your neck and swaying you a little.

   “Thank you, Hisoka. For everything.” You hugged him back just as tightly, thankful to have him and your kids.

   “No need to thank me, lovely~ ♥️️” He felt just as thankful for the chance you’d offered him.

[raccoonpoptart]

wanted to share this scenario idea bcs it's adorable ;; it's where the reader accidentally made a mistake in casting a spell, ehich resulted in them turning into an animal! i'm wondering how the characters would react to them huhu

YESSS THIS IS SO CUTE THANKYOU 🌸✨ this is so funny to think about honestly could you imagine suddenly turning into an animal? personally if i turned into a raccoon i would never want to be human again 🦝🦝🦝

☼

that’s not how that goes...

warnings: none! wholesome times tonight <3

some of the animal choices are obvious but others are...just for giggles 🐝 hope you like it! ✨

Earlier at the market y/n got some new ingredients to use in a spell, but had to substitute a few obscure things with more easily accesible items. With nothing but hope in their heart (that they wouldn’t absolutely ruin anything important), they made their way home.

It wasn’t until about halfway through the spell that y/n realized something was a bit...off. The smell just seemed a bit more potent, and the color was a little more unexpected than usual. Magic was strange like that, so they shrugged and threw the last ingredient in the bowl. Poof! Smoke went everywhere and y/n was covered in green dust.

Suddenly, everything grew so much bigger in the shop and y/n began to panic. Asra wouldn’t be home for a few hours! What were they supposed to do? Their heart raced as they walked to the nearest mirror. They realized that it wasn’t the shop that got bigger, it was them who got smaller. Uh oh...

alright gamers lets do this

Asra

when he came home he looked everywhere for you and when he saw the mess you made he started to panic a little

he had no idea what you were trying to do but the fact that you weren’t around was...really unsettling

“mc?? where are you? please come back...”

suddenly he felt something slip up his arm and squeeze...

“oh, hi, faust...did you s-”

what looked back at him wasn’t those red eyes he was used to but instead it was two big purple eyes

he was about to scream (because who wouldn’t freak out over a random snake) when he heard your voice in his head

i think i messed up the spell :(

he laughed softly and placed a soft kiss on your head and assured you if he couldn’t fix it, it would probably wear off anyway

spoiler alert it took almost a whole day for it to wear off but he enjoyed having you wrap around him whenever he went anywhere

faust thought it was the best thing ever, she would wrap around asra’s left arm and you would be on his right

Bite the goat!

(i was so tempted to do a fox but i thought it would be cute to sorta be like a chimes and flamel moment)

Nadia

when she was told that a lynx had been spotted sneaking around the palace she was a little worried

lynx are not common, so of course she wanted to see! but when the lynx ran up to her and started to rub against her and purr?? she was very confused

it wasn’t until she saw your eyes that she realized it was you! but didn’t really know how she knew...it was just her intuition she guessed

she just assumed something magical happened and hugged you

loved when you followed her around the palace because everyone was so afraid, or just had a puzzled look on their face

when you would meowl (or, yell for lack of a better word) she would smile and kiss your head then laugh if anyone around her got scared

would talk to you like normal even if you couldn’t properly answer, she just assumed any noise you’d make was a response

complimented your ears and thick coat then offered to brush your fur (she wanted to hear you purr again)

she enjoyed having you around all day and once you were back to normal she asked so many questions

Julian

another damn raven had taken a liking to him and he was ready to leave vesuvia again

he facepalmed as malak and this new bird had started messing with his hair and squawking

meanwhile you found it pretty funny how he accepted it so quickly and waited a while before having malak tell julian

you and malak had continued to bother julian for a few hours but once he got annoyed you had malak explain and julian just laughed and asked if malak had run into a window again

when you softly pecked his nose and rubbed against his face he blushed softly

“ah, well...at least it’s temporary. it is temporary, right? please tell me it won’t last forever!”

boi was a bit stressed because now he felt like he had to look after you but malak told him to *ahem* buzz off we’ll say cause he was having so much fun

found the looks he got a bit funny because of course having two ravens follow you everywhere would look strange (CAN I MAKE A NORSE MYTHOLOGY JOKE PLS.....TWO RAVENS = ODIN LMAO)

once the spell wore off he held you close and let out a sigh of relief,,, “darling, you make a beautiful bird but please don’t scare me like that again <3”

Muriel

ignore the part where it says the shop got bigger, for this it got smaller ok thanks <3

inanna had been gone a while so he went out to find her

instead found her outside playing with a......bear?

he closed his eyes and exhaled then turned to go back inside to avoid dealing with another unexplainable thing

but inanna dragged him over to the bear and he just stared as the bear stared back

woof! “inanna that makes no sense, it’s not mc”

then the bear hugged him and he blushed but didn’t pull away because why else would a bear have silver fur and pink eyes

you couldn’t exactly fit in his hut so he decided to just sit outside with you. he assumed that a spell went wrong because the same thing had happened to asra before

“so, mc... do you think this is permanent?” you grunted in response and placed a paw on his head

it was a bit awkward but he laughed softly and placed a hand on your head (wholesome mountain man :( i would die for him...)

watching you catch fish was hilarious to him considering you couldn’t do it by yourself a few months ago, but made sure to keep an eye on you anyway

he liked that you were taller than him for a bit and felt safe when you would hug him, even if the sight of it would seem strange but was happy when you were back to normal (now he can kiss the top of your head and hold your hands properly)

Portia

walked into her cottage and stopped in her tracks

she was face to face a puma and her heart started racing, she was about to run until she saw pepi run up onto the bigger cat’s head and headbutt her

“pepi.....can you please explain who this is quickly” she was trying not to freak out in case the giant cat would attack her

in response pepi started to purr and rubbed against the cat and was surprised when the big cat started to purr too

she thought that maybe pepi had somehow made a new friend? and just was grateful that it didn’t eat her

you had to lead her back to the shop and show her the mess as well as the pile of your clothes on the ground for her to understand

“mc :3 does that mean you’re technically naked?~” she poked your side and laughed when you made a slightly annoyed noise

absolutely loved how everyone ran at the sight of her with a puma and walked with a bit more confidence “i feel like the main character in a story! strong, beautiful woman with her most trusted cats at her side!”

you wished you could laugh but you loved how adorable she was and also you were amazed at how even though you were walking, pepi stayed asleep on your back

after work the next day she found you asleep in her bed wearing some of her clothes and she smiled so big as she hugged you tight

Lucio

“can somebody please explain why the hell a damn PEACOCK IS IN MY ROOM???”

as he raised his voice, the bird puffed up its feathers and started to squawk which freaked him out but it just walked up to him and stared

he was so confused but was thankful the bird wasn’t attacking him so he tried talking to it

“uhhhh- hello there, aren’t you beautiful? are you an albino? your white feathers are gorgeous” you puffed up your chest at the compliments and expanded your tail feathers

he smiled and tried to pet your tail feathers “you aren’t so scary now, how’d you get in here?” he didn’t really think to ask anyone because the only person he could think of was asra and he didn’t want to talk to him

mercedes and melchior liked the bird so why shouldn’t he? he shrugged and just let you follow him around all day, talking to you like you were another one of his pets (which was annoying but you liked the compliments althought they were new, obviously you didn’t normally have feathers)

the spell wore off in the middle of the night he went from having two dogs and a bird in his bed to having two dogs....and YOU!! just when he thought being with you couldn’t have brought more surprises and weird stories

he gave you his shirt and laughed as you explained what happened ,, “well, it’s good it was temporary! if i never saw you as a human again i don’t know what i would do”

☼

that was so fun!! omg i love writing weird stuff like this 🍓 anyway, i hope you liked it! i’m thinking about writing a story where mc can turn into animals on the regular but we’ll see ✨✨ now i wish i could turn into an animal for a day lmao

[paradise-creator]

Okayyyy. Seatbelt on, space cadet! I'm gonna take you on a loooong journey ✨

First of all hello again! I'm here to request for a Haikyuu romantic Haven Box if there's still a spot left. Take your time tho, I'm good at waiting 🙌🏻

here we gooo. so I'm an 159cm pansexual asian girl. I'm a little bit on the chubby side. I got long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me at first (some even hate me for no reason.) I mean its not my fault that I borned with this resting bih face 😭💔 I love wearing dark colored clothes, high waisted jeans and Sneakers.

I do wear makeup, and my favorite lipstick color is red. Like a really bold red. That's like my trademark.

for personality, I'm an enfp, taurus, gryffindor (big yikes!); I think I'm a pretty openminded person. I'm not afraid to speak up and I will fight (both using words and fists) for what I believe in. People see me as someone confident and to look up to; Tho honestly I'm pretty insecure with myself. Like I find nothing good about me and got depressed easily. Its like I have this happy clown persona everytime I'm outside my house and once I go back to my bedroom by myself its all the sad clown hours haha. ooh- this is getting kinda heavy. 😵 But anyway I care about my family and friends a lot. Their happiness is actually more important than my own. So I'd do anything to help and protect all of them.

My hobbies are sleeping, singing and watching horror movies/true crime documentaries; and yes I got scared after watching those stuff so I ended up searching for some broadway musical 😂😂 I also love to play games; otome games, cause my love life sucks *coughs*

Some facts about me!!

I believe in soulmate. Just the thought that we all have someone created specifically for us is making me happy 🥺❤

I'm a touch starved person. So I like doing skinship and PDA. I just love being spoiled and showered with love I guess 👉🏻👈🏻

I hate spicy foods, cause it really burns my throat. and I also hate lizards. They are gross and weird 😭😭

I believe ghosts are real and I'd definitely want to speak to them someday. Just asking them how does it feel to be a ghost? Is there a way to help em stop being a ghost? (Only with the nice ghost of course) 👻💕

My favorite song is Helpless by Phillipa Soo and if that doesn't show how much of a Hopeless romantic I am then idk 😂😂

I love watching tarot cards reading.

I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope and I can't stop this addiction. Like aaaaa its cliche but I love em so much ashdjflgl

Okay thats it! I need to stop talking before my ask give you some real headache 😂 I wish all this information helps you write a little bit and not bother you in one way or another!! Have a great day and stay healthy in this pandemic situation 🙌🏻✨ see yaaaaa~☆

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Old habits die hard

-  No matter what

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Oikawa Tooru, The Grand King

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- Okay, when I read your description Oikawa popped in my head. So on to the great king we go!

- I also had an Oikawa brain rot when I decided to do your request but either way, I still think you two would look cute!

- Oikawa is the most realistic character in Haikyuu and I believe you two would definitely match

- You feel insecure? No worries, Oikawa already saw it coming and is going to give you compliments and gifts

- He may not look like it, but he is really observant

- You can't hide your feelings from this man cause he has been through that

- You both were deemed the power couple of the school

- He would ALWAYS always remind you to take care of yourself

- Both of you seem confident and really out going but in reality, you both are really insecure

- You both would understand each other

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Old habits die hard

- He almost NEVER calls you by common nicknames, except for Queen and princess

- Your nickname can be something weird like my little Alien or smth

- Whenever you watch a game, he alsyws gives you his extra jersey or his jacket

- He would randomly say I love you and if you don't respond, he'll pout

- You gave him a plushie and he named it after you

- Stargazing (Alien hunting) is his favorite type of date

- Study dates almost always ends up with one of you dead asleep before starting anything

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

No matter what

Oikawa Tooru is the grand king of Seijoh. He was handsome, smart, and all that. He was very athletic and observant. He gets along with everyone and anyone. He could get any girl to swoon to him but he is only loyal to volleyball and Iwaizumi. And that’s what people thought, but this king has fallen off his throne. He, has fallen in love and doesn’t know what to do. It started with the little things like seeing how she loves skinship or how she hates spicy food. He thought it was normal, he was observant after all. But as time passes, he realized that he might be falling. He tried and tried to avoid it, knowing that it might just hurt him in the end anyway. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to fulfil what was in her heart because he would always choose volleyball. Oikawa had a girlfriend once, she left him because he wasn’t good enough, and he didn’t give her enough of his time.

Oikawa did not want that to happen again. He didn’t want his heart torn into pieces yet again. But still, he fell deep into the rabbit hole called love. And he hated her for it, becoming her enemy for no reason at all. But, fate seemed to be in his side. Soon enough the “mortal nemesis” relationship faded away and love soon blossomed. It wasn’t as smooth as most people would say but it’s still a beautiful sight to behold. The way Oikawa looks at her with so much love and passion, it’s breathtaking. The way that she would cheer for him no matter what, it’s alluring. A love so pure that it seems surreal and impossible. From then on, the great king knew that she was thee one. He knew that even if he was too busy, she would understand. He knew that she would always be by his side no matter what the cost is.

And he knew that no matter what happens, he would always love her. Volleyball may be his priority, but he will soon get out of it. Slowly but surely, the walls he built was crumbling away. Slowly but surely, his distant exterior grows into an attached and close koala. Oikawa’s train of thought was then shattered as he heard someone calling out to him. “Oi Shittykawa, why the hell is your face like that?” Iwaizumi said as he cringed at the sight. “Geez Iwa-chan, can’t a guy think about his soulmate in peace?” He then responded as he glared at the shorter male. “We have a game to play, Stupidkawa. And if you miss her so bad, why don’t you go to her at the stands and talk to her?” Iwaizumi said as he glared intently at his best friend. “I have a better idea,” Oikawa said as he stood up. His eyes wandered around the bleachers to find his one and only. And soon enough, he was able to see her long black wavy hair and her beautiful eyes. “Princess!” He yelled.

The female then smiled and waved at the player adorning the cyan colors with the number one. “Yes, my prince?” She yelled back. “Oh! My darling Princess! I love you with all my heart and know that no matter what, I’ll still be in love with you,” He yelled. The stadium awed at the interaction. Oikawa now found his one and only, his soulmate. And he would never let go, no matter what.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hello there! I'm so sorry for doing this quite late. Since exams and school and all that.

I hope you enjoy this matchup nonetheless! And I also made sure that the drabble was a bit different and unique to make up for it. Since I decided to try out a new way of writing.

[smartzelda]

(Wow, I wish I could kill tumblr for messing up and making me rewrite this whole thing from scratch)

Hi, bros! I've gotten so much of crit done this week, so there's a LOT to talk about

Let's start out where we left off in Toy Box.

So like, the Riku and Buzz parallels are so good, like, the Buzz being afraid of being taken over and hurting his friends. Buzz being more skeptical of people, but trusting of his friends and just trusting Woody a whole lot. I love how he just trusts Sora, Donald, and Goofy by the end and they're friends and stuff

The Sora and Woody parallels are so good too, like, Woody trusting Sora and friends right away because they seem to be good guys, fighting the enemies (it's such a Sora thing to trust people just cause they seem good) and really trusting Buzz. Woody doing the angry sassy while talking to YMX/the organization

And bro, like...the Soriku parallels...the softness...

This has so many kh2 Soriku vibes

SAME PICTURE DIFFERENT ANGLE. YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

*clears throat* Ahem, um...anyways... I was thinking about when YMX tosses Sora into the Verum Rex Gigas minigame. 1st off, I beat it a lot faster than I did my first play through the game on proud mode, so that's helpful. I'm glad that having done this before is helping me learn to be at least a little less stupid and do some things easier because of experience. 2nd, YMX's role in kh3 is very interesting. The hole time I get that he knows more than he's letting on. I feel like he, like Sora, can remember everything between the demon tornado, Riku's sacrifice, mass death, and Sora saving everyone's hearts before the timeline being rewritten and turned back to before everyone dies, and assuming the SRT holds up, he even seems to know the events of the first go around of timeline set before the kh3 we play. It's in the SRT too, but like, him saying "Not this time" and being able to dodge Sora's attacks like he already knows. Then there's YMX's line before the boss battle where he's like, "Find the hearts connected to yours." We could take it as him guiding Sora, getting him to find the seven guardians of light. I'm feeling like it might be foreshadowing or like YMX leading Sora to his end because it could be foreshadowing of remind (I mean, I won't know till I can play) or it's referring to the future of Sora saving all the hearts from the lich. Back to him knowing what's going on in the timelines somehow with that whole leading aspect, then there's during the lich segment where YMX is there somehow and tells Sora about how he'll pay the price, then YMX's "death" where he says that Sora's time in the world is over, indicating he knows what Sora's done and has to pay the price for

So, unlike the gigas thing that went surprisingly well, the possessed marionette and the flying saucer did not, and the flying saucer was the worst. I learned that, unlike in my proud run through, I couldn't just try to beat a gigas as just Sora that easily, considering a gigas could oneshot me (I kinda suck, so I honestly couldn't beat em at all without commanding a gigas myself on crit). So, it was very time consuming, considering I couldn't use a gigas to finish it off and shoot it from afar, and I had to evade all like four gigas and the scattered heartless (it was especially bad if I was about to die and needed to heal) while trying to attack it (needless to say, Donald and Goofy did most of the work in the final stretch while I was trying not to die and also attack the enemy that would warp away if you got too close). I did it though

Okay, final boss battle! Ngl, just...I enjoy the angry sassy of Woody when YMX is like, "See, look buzz fell to darkness blah blah" and Woody is like, "I don't care. Put buzz back the way he was." (Y'know, totally not a Sora attitude and totally not a parallel to CoM when Sora's telling Vexen "I don't care! Just put Riku back!") And YMX like talking about hearts and Woody like, "I don't think you've ever been loved before, because you know nothing about hearts and love." The final boss battle was easy compared to the other boss battles in Toy Box.

Also, I just...enjoy Buzz finally being friends with Sora, Donald, and Goofy and caring about and trusting them now

Now ownards to Corona!

So, starting in the forest just before getting to the tower, I opened a treasure chest with an item that gives sneeze protection (I got a shield for Goofy that does the same thing after I finished this world) which...I... Bro, I'm stupid I like didn't get this item my first run through nor did I know it existed, but playing through this world definitely was easier without sneezing Sora, especially the final boss (but we'll get to that later)

Gotta love that Flynn Rider charm.

"So, I've made the decision to trust you."

"A horrible decision, really."

Hi, I'm Flynn I hope you expect me to run away from battles and have Sora, Donald, and Goofy, who are totally my bodyguards, do all the work and make me look good Rider

Rapunzel after getting out of the tower and her enthusiasm is so Sora like, but ngl, I'd say she's a Riku parallel in this segment. Later in this world, they remark that the tower is a prison for Rapunzel. In this moment she has a lot of conflicting feelings.

"I'M SO FREE!"

"I'm such a terrible person..."

"This is so fun!"

"Oh, what would Mother think...? I should go back..."

"I'M NEVER GOING BACK!"

She's being pulled two ways. Part of her is excited to see the whole outside world and ready to live her dream, defying Mother Gothel, while the other part of her urges her to go back to her prison with Gothel where she'll be safe. This is much like in DDD with the Quasimodo and Riku parallel where Riku tells Quasi that it's not because of Frollo's rules or because Frollo said the outside world would harm him, it's because something in his heart holding him back. Most likely, it was from fear. In Riku's case, he said it from experience because he too is struggling with something where it's his heart holding him back, nothing else (probably his feelings for Sora are the thing he won't set free)

I like how kh3 is like, self aware or like, aware of the kh lore like when Donald and Goofy mention Data Sora, or in this case where Sora, Donald, and Goofy don't remember Marluxia because castle oblivion and he's like, "Such a pain. Whatever. It's not like you need to know." Kh3 shows that Nomura remembers the things he set up before.

Also, Goofy: "I think the 'has-been' prefers Marluxia" 😂😂😂

The heartless chariot was just as terrible and time consuming as always because of how much I died.

I did surprisingly well at the dancing section compared to past attempts, so that was cool. Rapunzel and Sora are just so adorable though and Rapunzel with the flowers in her hair is just😔👌

Okay, I like, I love the lantern scene because it's just so beautiful. Like, I just love those shots of all the lanterns and of Flynn and Rapunzel and of Sora, Donald, and Goofy watching them. Also...Flynn lowkey being given the choice between Rapunzel and the crown and basically choosing her

"I should've given it to you before, but I was just scared."

"I'm starting to." And Flynn pushes the satchel away, focusing on Rapunzel, choosing her.

Also, thinking that this part is a parallel to Riku in the RoD because Riku got the strength to protect the one he cherishes most (Sora) and now he's not afraid anymore, even in the RoD. He feels stronger and more confident. For Rapunzel, after spending time with Flynn and traveling, she's not afraid of the world anymore and she becomes more confident. She trusts Flynn and gives him the satchel (which in the movie I believe she originally withheld and hid out of fear of him going back on their promise)

So, then, Flynn and Rapunzel release their lanterns into the sky, and they twirl around each other as they fly up

Seem familiar? It's almost like...

HEARTS IN TUNE BAY BEE

SORIKU PARALLELS

Also, rip Sora, Donald, and Goofy. They just wanted to watch the scenery, but got interrupted by nobodies

Bro, it's really sad, like, I feel so sad for Rapunzel because she really trusted Flynn and Mother Gothel framed Flynn, breaking Rapunzel's heart because she thought it was all genuine, that Flynn really wasn't going to hurt her and meant the things he said. Then, Gothel takes her to the tower

Sora still being able to be awoken from a lick to the face from an animal like in kh1😂

In my first run through of the game, I got to this part with all the heartless and nobodies on the way to the tower and the section between everyone starting off towards the castle and reaching the castle I tried to go through as fast as possible and skipped fighting the heartless and nobodies I could. This time, I managed to clear the whole area after making it my goal for leveling up purposes, so that was cool👍

And now we reach the tower cutscenes and a very niiiiiiice Soriku parallel, which I'll have to put in the next post due to the photo limit

[silenthillmutual]

I don't know if you're the right person to tell this to but I think my mom's emotionally abusive. She gets mad whenever I get upset at her and gaslights me(probably??) whenever I call her out. I tried to tell her that she never apologized for hurting my feelings and she responded with, "I don't have to apologize to you" and it just made me feel worse. My family's Christian and all but I'm scared to tell the pastor(or anyone) because I don't want her to get mad at me. Do you have any advice?

I guess I’m a decent source for that, and I’ve got enough spoons today to answer this! 

I’ll be honest with you, a parent reacting with anger whenever you get upset with them is never a good sign. The “I don’t have to apologize to you” response is definitely emotionally abusive, especially if it’s not a reaction in a vacuum; anything as an isolated incident is understandable since we all make mistakes, but this doesn’t sound like a one-off thing. 

I had a couple of friends help me through being gaslit myself; here are a few articles on the topic, all of which are pretty brief:

Were You Born Under the Gaslight?

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

a resource post from r/RaisedByNarcissists

I’m not a psychologist in any capacity, but having been through it myself and having sat down and watched a film adaptation from where the term hails, here’s a sort of brief rundown of some things gaslighters will do to their victims:

making attempts to isolate you (from friends, from family members, etc; ex, excessive monitoring of your communications with friends to the point of taking your phone or computer so you can’t contact them, although this may be done subtly)

telling you that you have traits or attributes that do not feel or sound like things you do (ex, telling you that you are “forgetful” or “tend to lose things” even when you are not a forgetful person)

accusing you of lying, whether directly or indirectly (ex. asking, “what did you do with x thing?”, not believing you when you say you haven’t seen it; then when you find it, saying something to the effect of, “so you did know where it was”)

saying things with emotion and then denying there is any emotion behind their words (ex. if they say something to you in an angry way and when you say, “don’t be angry,” they say, “i’m not angry” and look at you like you’re crazy)

making you look bad in front of others (this can be making you look like a jerk, making you look inconsiderate, making you look foolish, like a buzzkill, etc.)

taking on a tone to imply that you are scaring them, even when you have not done or said anything out of the ordinary (if you’re thinking to yourself, “i didn’t even have any emotion behind this, i didn’t even sound angry” and they’re reacting like they’re afraid you’re going to hit you? that’s gaslighting)

whiplash mood swings and honeymooning - quickly going from being angry at you to putting on a convincing happy act in front of others; “honeymooning” is when, after a period of abuse, they start to act really nice and considerate towards you, making you think that they’ve changed, or maybe they do one really nice thing for you as a way to “make up” for their behavior (this never lasts, don’t buy it.)

turning themselves into the victim of every situation (guilt tripping you, especially in situations where you are telling them that they have hurt you. parents really love this one; it’s the “oh so i’m a horrible parent” comeback to any time you’ve ever said “this really hurt my feelings”)

infantalizing you (another parental favorite)

upsetting you in public, covertly, so that only you are aware of what they have said/done

threatening you with institutionalization

Another big one that I don’t think I mentioned here because it’s not one that came up in the film is outright denying that something ever happened. We tend to assume that’s something we’d be able to catch outright, but the truth of the matter is that their lies start out small and they do all of these things above & more for the sake of putting you off balance and confusing you so that by the time their lies get to the level of things you should be able to look at and say plainly, “that’s not true,” you’ve gotten to the point where you feel like you can’t trust your own memory or judgement of things. 

I’ll give a couple examples because the list of potential things they could lie about goes between fairly small stuff to extreme stuff:

my mother claimed once that she was never on her phone during dinner

my mother claiming she’d never seen movies that not only did i remember her commentary on, but i’m pretty sure one of them we actually saw in theatres

her claiming i’d never told her things that i most definitely had told her before

combined with that one: lying about the last time we’d had contact; right before i cut off all contact with her i was able to actually screenshot the dates and times of the last time we’d spoken and send them to her

lying about actual historical facts; in my mother’s case: refusing to acknowledge that ABA had, since its inception, used aversives and was abusive in practices, was the foundation of the conversion therapy movement. i sent her screenshot and link proofs of this as well and she did not appreciate it

she also claimed that she never threatened to kick me out of the house and claimed that i promised her i would start therapy before starting HRT - neither of which are accurate or even remotely believable (you really think i’d up and move w two weeks notice halfway across the country if i hadn’t been kicked out? i have to laugh.)

Another one that did not really get shown well in the film but that I believe i’ve read somewhere and have personal experience with, is that they like to keep you traumatized. It keeps you in a state of like... uncertainty, I guess you could say. It keeps you from feeling completely lucid or in control of things, and more likely to need help and depend on them for continued support. They may also be likely to mess with your head in other ways, like with the use of drugs - and I don’t just mean illegal ones; parents who have control over your medication and make sure you take it do have to potential to keep you up on medications you don’t actually need as a method of control. (Both of these can actually be seen in use in the film Midsommar w/ the suicide ritual being a method of continued trauma and the constant drug use being...obvious. I’m sure it gets used in other places too but that was the first one to come to mind, and Aster does a really good job of showing how effective that shit is.)

I don’t really know what other religions rules are like when it comes to confidentiality. I was raised Catholic, and there was a certain understanding about priests and ethics that pretty much went that unless you had a warrant (and on top of that, a damn good reason; iirc there have been plenty who don’t even testify under oath) they weren’t to tell anyone what you told them in confidence. If you know anything about their ethics regarding that or even feel that you can ask them safely about it, it could be a good place to start if you feel that church community is one where you feel safe. 

The biggest roadblock tbh is age and...idk how else to put this other than status? If you’re a minor there is, unfortunately, not a lot you can do to get away from her or get her to stop - especially if you’re in a situation where she’s really your only parent. Which is sort of what I meant by status; do you have another parent or step-parent, sibling, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc  you feel you could talk to about it? 

I really wish I could recommend school guidance counselors, but I’m not altogether sure they’re equipped with the right materials to help you out there. That being said, if you have a family member that you can trust to help you find a therapist outside of school, that would also be a really good resource; whether you’re an adult still living within that contact or a minor who can’t get away at the moment, a therapist can help you come up with some coping techniques to deal with it until you can safely get away. I’d suggest looking for one who specializes in trauma or in PTSD, esp if they have c-PTSD listed (the ‘c’ is for complex, which is a proposed addition(??) to PTSD that would separate a singular traumatic event from an ongoing traumatic situation like living in war zones, being a POW, domestic violence, etc). PsychologyToday has a search function for finding accredited therapists in your area that should list their specialties, credentials, and insurance plans they take. (And if you’re asked why you need one, honestly, extrapolate on a minor issue. Like tbh you could just say body image issues.) Therapists are bound by license-revoking ethics not to tell anyone what you discuss in therapy unless you are going to hurt yourself or someone else.

[If you feel you’re being monitored too closely at home and don’t have a way to get this information at school, I suggest asking a reference librarian to help you out. A lot of public libraries will have community resource information, and if they don’t have flyers or brochures out, reference librarians’ entire jobs are to help you access information whether that’s in the library or in the community! That’s why I work in LIS, lol.]

Other than that the two big pieces of advice I have are:

Build up a support network outside your family. If you feel you can’t trust them with this, or even if you’re worried about putting them in the middle of a difficult situation - and even if those aren’t concerns for you - it’s always good to have a support network that isn’t connected to the situation in some way. Most of my support network came from friends, a bulk of whom I knew from online, and from coworkers. The first person to tell me I was being gaslit was actually a coworker, who I talked to when I got kicked out and was shaken up about it. I had a p good relationship w my boss and all my coworkers there, so when I had to put in my two weeks’ notice I actually got an offer to stay with my boss in the event that the situation escalated, and also knew I could go and stay with my one of my best friends with their grandad, or their sister. In fact, right when that happened, my friends already had a kind of escape plan half-formed because things had just kind of been getting worse, and for almost a year now I’ve been living with my other best friend. Even if things never get to the point of you having to leave the house, just having people that you can rely on who will be on your side entirely is crucial to dealing with that kind of stress.

If you think or feel you may be getting gaslit - even if you’re thinking to yourself that you’re just blowing things out of proportion or that it’s “not that bad” (a lot of us go through that) - start keeping a journal of things your mother says to you. You don’t have to show anyone. Just keep it for yourself. It doesn’t even have to be anything important; like I said earlier, it can be as simple as off-handed comments about movies you’ve watched or appointments you’ve made or what have you. Write them down when they happen, date them, and then when she says something that you feel contradicts what you’ve already heard - you can fact-check it. You can also do this with screenshots if it’s over text or something, and if you think you can get away with secretly recording her on your phone that might help too. I don’t recommend telling her you’re doing this or pointing out when she’s been lying; in the event she doesn’t outright deny it she could flip it around to make herself the victim or spiral out of control and get worse - this is just for your peace of mind. The goal of gaslighting, to quote the movie, is to “systematically [drive] you out of your mind”. This would just be a way to reassure yourself that you’re not making it up, you didn’t forget, you’re not blowing things out of proportion. 

If you need anything more specific, feel free to let me know! I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it really just fucking sucks. But I believe you can make it! And there is an it - there’s an out, even if it’s hard to get to or takes long. 

[terselylove]

Depression...

My experience of dealing with social anxiety is a feeling of overwhelming fear when interacting with individuals I wasn’t comfortable with. I was unable to look people in the eye when speaking to them, and struggled to keep a conversation going. I came off as both extremely quiet and shy, as well as rude, which anyone who knows me well knows I am the opposite of.

During this period of my life my self-confidence was at an all-time low, and I felt disgusted every time I looked in the mirror. I stayed away from people as much as I could, and felt I made an embarrassment of myself whenever I went out in public. I constantly had a voice in my head saying “Why would anyone want to be friends with you? You are ugly and pathetic.”...

I love summer. Lighter evenings, longer days, warmer weather, summer dresses, perhaps even some sun if we’re lucky. Generally speaking, as seems to be common with most people I speak to –  when the sun is out, I’m in a better mood. However, as someone who also experiences periods of depression, I’ve found that this isn’t generally the case when it comes to my mental health.I’m fortunate that I’m currently in a much better place at the moment but, when I think back to a few years ago, I found the summer months to be an immense struggle.When the clocks sprung forward, it all felt a little bit daunting. The things I’d usually look forward to about the change in seasons now served as reminders that I really wasn’t ok.The lighter evenings and longer days meant more time counting down the hours until it was dark enough to go to sleep. The warmer weather meant more plans to cancel and, as a result, more excuses to make up. I couldn’t even muster up the enthusiasm to decide what to wear each day – something which would ordinarily bring me a lot of enjoyment – and so the summer dresses stayed at the back of my wardrobe.Perhaps depression is a little easier to understand in the winter. It’s dark, it’s cold, most people are spending evenings at home not really doing much. If I was having a particularly bad day / week / month, it didn't feel so wrong to get home from work, change into my pyjamas and just go to bed.Yet when summer rolled around, it seemed as though everyone was out and about having the ‘best time ever’. 

And then there I was, struggling to get out of bed.For someone experiencing depression, it can be difficult to watch those around you enjoying themselves. I'd mute group chats so as not to be met with the constant barrage of plans, I'd excuse myself from after-work drinks, and I'd invent reasons not to attend BBQs and family gatherings.“But it’s such a nice day…” people would say, “you should get out the house, it might cheer you up."Yes it was a nice day but, whilst their words were well-meaning, they simply weren't helpful. I already felt as though I was wasting my summer and I knew I should get out the house, but it just didn't seem possible. A nice walk on a sunny afternoon might do wonders if I'm just having an 'off day', but depression is so much more than that, and a sunny afternoon isn't a cure.Depression doesn't care about the weather, your weekend plans, or the birthday coming up that you'd do anything to be able to enjoy. It doesn't think to itself "summer is here, time for me to disappear for the next few months."

That isn't how it works.I'm in the fortunate position of having friends I could be honest with. Friends who would still keep inviting me to things 'in case I felt up to it' and didn't judge me when I stopped replying to messages for days or weeks on end. They'd suggest shorter periods of socialising that felt a lot less daunting, and remind me that they were still around if and when I felt up to going out.In more recent years, I've managed to enjoy my summers without the weight of depression casting a shadow over them to quite the same extent, and for that I'm incredibly thankful. I think my own experience has also made me more aware of how others might be feeling, and I'd encourage anyone who thinks a friend might be struggling to try to understand and have a little patience. 

Some people understand it, some think it’s an attention call. For me, depression is like that pile of laundry that you don’t want to show in your Instagram pictures. I never want to show my pile of laundry to the world, I want my life to seem happy and put together, as if I folded and put away all my laundry right out of the dryer.Ever since high school I have suffered with extreme depression and anxiety. I can defend the issue for hours and hours, however I get embarrassed when I feel sad. I get so embarrassed when I am sad and those around me do not understand and treat me as if I’m crazy.Typically most of my life I’ve always just been called dramatic when I’m upset. It has become one of my biggest triggers, because most of my life I haven't had that fight to defend it. I just, quite simply, let it eat at me.Depression can be the hardest when others just don’t understand you. I get sad for no reason so often that I’ve created safe spaces. In our current home, my safe place is my bathroom floor. Probably about at least three times a month you can find me locked in my bathroom on the floor, crying. The lock on that door is the only form of power I feel I have at that moment.

I see you.

I share this because it’s real, I share this because everyone has that pile of laundry.

I know everyone may not have depression, but everyone has something hard they’ve experienced, everyone has something to share and everyone has something to relate to.

Many times I have found myself on that bathroom floor contemplating life and how to make it past that very moment, will I? I have to say how thankful I am that I haven’t followed through. Life is so hard. Sprinkle on some depression, heck, dump it on - and life is now even more hard.Please don’t ask me how I can be so sad I could contemplate suicide. Because honestly I do not know, nor do most people in that situation. How did we make it to this moment? What did I do to deserve this sorrow?You never know who is hurting. Those who are, we often are the most resistant, waiting for a hand to be held out for us to grab onto as the pressure of our mental being closes in on us.Check up on those who are quiet, those who check up on you; maybe conversation is being sparked due to their need to communicate. Let’s talk about our hard times, it’s healing, not embarrassing.So, here’s my laundry pile. You’re not alone.

 Depression is not an emotion - it's an illness

Ah, mental health stigma surrounding depression. The worst that's been said to me in all these years having depression is:"Don't go and have a moment on me!""Don't quit your job. I know your job has been making you feel depressed but you're being stupid. You haven't tried hard enough.""Is that all your depressed about?""Stop being ungrateful and take your Great Aunt's advice!"

Please, stop.

This is not me being lazy, ungrateful or selfish. This is me dealing, sometimes suffering, with depression. This is my demon running its black toxins through my head, poisoning my thoughts and feelings.

Depression is not an emotion, it's an illness. A completely and utterly illogical illness. Just like with colds, for example, some colds can just be a little sniffle, sneeze, etc, while some colds can completely wipe you out and keep you bed-bound for x amount of time. Whether you have a mild cold or one from hell, you still have a valid cold. People with the strongest immune systems can still be affected by them.

From an outsider’s point of view, sure, they would be able to see the positive things going on in your life. However, when depression strikes, for me at least, it feels like a part of my brain has turned off the switch to be able to enjoy things. If it's really bad, I'm unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel with whatever I'm dealing with. I can also feel like a shell of a person sometimes. It's as if my brain has temporarily sucked up my personality and misplaced it somewhere else. I'm there but not there at the same time.

I don't choose to do this, depression is basically trying to tie me down in a chair at the cinema, forcing me to watch its fake "reality" tale about how my life will always be rubbish, dark, etc and how I'm worthless. Sometimes I can fight it off, but other times it can catch me off guard and I believe it for a while. Depression, by the way, is one hell of a liar.

The best way I can describe the switch being turned off is while you can see the beautiful colours of the world, I only see black, grey and white. My favourite meal in front of me is suddenly tasteless mush. My favourite TV show/YouTube channel is changed to, what feels like, a very boring presentation about something I've never been remotely interested in. Going out with loved ones can feel like everyone is spinning around me in fast motion while I'm sitting there in slow.

Depression is one of the worst things I have ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thankfully over the last 9 years I've learned to differentiate my depression thoughts from my healthy thoughts. I know my depression is just trying to make me watch a fake tale about me and my life, like how I described earlier, but I know I can beat it each and every time it knocks me. Depression might be strong but I'm much, much stronger.

Please do not judge other people's struggles and do listen to what they have to say. Their mountain may be a molehill to you, but everyone is different and everyone’s feelings are valid. Please, please always remember that.

For a long while, I've been having issues with mental health. I remember asking my mum one day years ago if hearing and seeing things was normal and her response still sticks with me. "You're too young and don't know what REAL mental health problems are."

At the time I was incredibly depressed, anxious and scared of myself and what I might do. Whenever I tried to reach out and ask to see someone for help because I was seeing things, she always gave an excuse to dismiss what was going on, like I needed more sleep or I needed to "stay off that phone!". I just wish she might have listened a bit more, instead of brushing me off as lying, or getting angry and impatient with me. If she had been more supportive, I would have felt more capable of handling myself during my bad episodes. 

Considering that not even my own mother would believe me, I truly felt alone and thought that no one would listen to me and brush me off as liar or even a fake. It made it hard for me to reach out for help or take care of myself in the ways I needed.

Now that I'm in my later years of university and I'm in a relationship, I've had to be truthful to myself and acknowledge that I do have issues that need help with. It's taken me even longer to learn how to trust people, that people will reach out to help me if I ask for the help I dearly need. That I won't be told I'm too young or it's because I'm tired or because I'm on my phone too much before going to sleep.

It's taken me years to realize that I need help and that no one but me can choose whether or not what I'm dealing with is real. I don't need someone to compare their own experiences to mine and deem my cry for help as valid or not. But if I had a parent that believed me and took me to someplace where I could've gotten the help I needed, I think I would've been able to cope better with my conditions now.

Some people fail to realize that mental health doesn't discriminate against age and sadly for me it was the person I looked up to most that failed me.

I never know how to explain depression to someone. It’s so different for everyone and comes in so many different forms. Some people describe their depression as a weight that holds them down, ever-present and demanding of their time. Others describe it as a shadow that looms in the back of your mind, always taunting and jabbing and trying to tear you down. Some days, you just have thicker skin. And then sometimes, depression is described like drowning. It’s wading in an ocean of poison and barely catching your breath before you’re dragged back under. 

I don’t think people understand that depression is constant. Some days it doesn’t feel as heavy, it doesn't tug and pull as hard. And other days, it knocks you down before you can even get out of bed. 

I am always fighting this constant battle with myself. I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I'm struggling. The happy interludes, the in-between where the weight doesn’t feel as heavy, are simply vacations from the reality that is my depression.

It makes me feel like a failure, no matter my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me.

My depression is a beast that lives inside me. It whispers horrible things in my ear, tells me that I am waste of space. And all the while, I have to smile and pretend I’m okay.

That life isn’t beating me, no way. I’m too stubborn for that. I have to pretend that there isn’t some rabid animal inside of me, clawing to get its grip around my throat and snuff out my life. 

People who don’t have depression don’t understand. But they can still be there for people like me. When they say something that scares you, don’t yell. Don’t get angry because you don’t comprehend how their mind works.

My mind is a scary place. I shouldn’t need to open up and spill my darkness for your compassion.  

Support people with depression, even if you don’t understand. Just be there. 

[itsnebulous]

BOND THROUGH BANDS

Well I know when you're around ‘cause I know the sound I know the sound, of your heart... bzzz bzz bzz

I woke up by the annoying vibration of my alarm, I checked the time and good lord my alarm has been buzzing for about half an hour now! I don't remember snoozing it off but damn my train for London leaves in 20 minutes. My earphones are tangled all over my neck. I could literally hear my mum inside my head saying “You should not sleep with your earphones on Bailee!” I'm sorry mum but your loving daughter just did. I must have fallen asleep again while on my phone last night. It has become my habit now to pass out while scrolling through my socials, I mean that's just pure talent. Music is my thing but not in the way that I'm great at instruments. It's just that I love listening to bands.

As I hurry to the bathroom to take a shower, I tripped over my sketchbooks. I don't remember my flat being this messy. Dirty clothes are piling on the chair beside my disastrous closet, books are everywhere on the dusty carpet. The only thing in order are my shelves of books and music albums which is also now getting dusty. Surprisingly the kitchen area is clean, maybe because I am always out at the city to eat out with my classmates after school. I got out of the shower with ten minutes to spare. I have no time for my indecisiveness on what clothes to wear so I pulled off my go-to outfit. I tucked my favourite yellow sweater on my jeans and put on my worn out Converse then grabbed my coat that is hung on the back of my door before sprinting to the elevator.

As I got out on the streets, tourists are everywhere, typical for Brighton though even if it's freezing cold. But today is warmer, the sun is actually out which is very unusual for December. I'm almost near at the station when Lily texted me:

“BAILEE WHERE ARE U?!”

But before I can even type my answer, she called

“Sis the train is about to leave in two minutes” I can imagine with her tone how pissed she is at me.

“I’m almost there. I’m like twenty steps away”

“That better be not a lie”

“I swear it's not- and oh she already hang up”.

We made it to London without having a fight. She is already used to my shenanigans on my morning routines which always make me late. Lily is just pressed that I missed breakfast with her at the cafe.

“Why on Earth are you late this time my beloved friend? Bet you had your concert again while in the shower”, she said sarcastically.

“Oh stop it, you know I can't miss my singing ritual whilst in the shower”, I teased her.

“Also, I'm not late duh I made it exactly at 8 am”. Lily has always been the early bird kind of friend during meet ups and I am most certainly the buzzer beater type.

Roaming around the city of London is always my favourite. I have lived here three years ago when I first came to England yet every time I walk along its streets and pass by its shops, I keep falling in love like it's the first time. The telephone booths are still class even though no one uses it. Everything about this city is so aesthetic. Lily and I spent half of the day going through some of the places London is known for as if we are tourists.

“It's ridiculous that I've lived in London most of my life but still haven't ridden this until now". We are now inside a carriage on top of the London eye.

“ I can't say the same. I mean I lived here only a few years back and I even barely go out then but it's never too late to be a tourist you know”.

The view on top is amazing, cityscape and sunset is picture perfect. I just wish that I am seeing this with Matty right now if he hadn't left me. I guess this is it again, I have fallen on my whirlpool of grief that keeps dragging me down. It's been years but why didn't I learn to handle the pain.

2 years ago...

London street is busy as ever yet the holiday spirit is very alive. Every one on the city is on their layered coats as it is freezing cold. It's two more weeks until Christmas and the shops are all packed with those who are gift shopping. I am probably the most loneliest person in London because I actually have no one to celebrate Christmas with as I just moved. I have Lily and our friends but they’re all going home for the holidays.

Today is the last day of school before our Christmas break so we planned a night out at Winter Wonderland.

“Here's the thing Bailee, a Christmas holiday of a typical London resident wouldn't be complete without a night here", Millie said as we walk toward the entrance of the giant Christmas carnival. Millie is my street smart friend who always got my back the first time I got in London.

“Really?”, and as I ask this I confirmed what Millie just said, the place is crowded and sparkly with its lights. The people are in their high spirits as they are in queue for the rides. I could never be that person who is excited for the rides. Before I even know it, my friends are already in line calling me to join them.

“BAILEE AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US?”, Josh screamed.

“ I'D RATHER WATCH YOU FROM HERE. I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.”, I answered. The music is getting loud now from what I hear from the people passing by is from the beer tent.

“ARE YOU SURE???” asked Lily looking concerned.

“YEAHHHH, MEET YOU AT THE BEER TENT MAYBE?”

I barely heard their answer but I'm sure I heard Millie say “oh she'll do just fine, she can manage now". Thanks Millie for your confidence but I am actually anxious going alone inside the beer tent. But I am eager to see what's going on in there because I can hear a band playing.

There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls ‘Cause I'd fall again.

“Holy cow they are singing a Blossoms' song" , I whispered to myself out of excitement.

I made my way in front of the crowd. The people inside the tent are all chattery and loud but I could only hear the song playing, my favourite song. I caught the vocalist' attention maybe because of my aggressiveness to get in front. I got lost on his gaze, his deep blue eyes melted me, the curls of his hair is so soft. It is their last song to play. After they played, he went to sit beside me which is weird because we don't even know each other.

“Hi” he said shyly.

A cute band vocalist who is a stranger just talked to me, how am I supposed to reply. “Hello?”

“You sound so confused" he said giggling.

“Uhmmm yes? I am confused because a stranger who just sung my favourite song is talking to me out of context”, I blurted out.

“Oh I actually approached you because of your reaction while we were playing ‘your favourite song’ "

“Why so?”

“Because it's so obvious that you really like the song and you were the only one here who seems to appreciate it. Does it remind you of someone?”

“Honestly no, I just really love it. The tune, its lyrics is just perfect for me.”

“Guess we are the same then".

After my weird moment with that guy, my friends finally came to have a beer. Mr. Stranger was about to leave when I asked his name.

“It's Matty”

That's how Matty and I started. After that night, he invited me to watch shows and gigs. The drive back home is always my favourite. We take detours just to spend more time talking about each other with good music on the background.

“Cityscapes are just beautiful, aren't they?” I said while looking out the window.

“Not as beautiful and bright as you”

“Stop being so cute please”, that's the only reaction I could do with his smooth cheesy lines.

As months of hanging out together goes by, we fall deeper and deeper with each other. Matty gave my room a make over. Ever since I moved in London my flat doesn't look like home so he gave it an artistic touch. He painted the walls, built me a desk and shelves. We also hung posters of our favourite bands. After redecorating my room, it now feels home and cosy. He stayed until midnight so that we could listen to the new album of the 1975 together.

“I guess this could be our new jam then" he said with enthusiasm in his eyes.

“I love the idea", I answered.

I knew he was already sleepy when he said goodnight before driving back home. I didn't want him to drive anymore because it's already late but he insisted because he's worried about his sister so I let him.

“Call me when you get home ok? Drive safely”

“Ok I love you” he said.

I don't recall the next months after. It is as blurry as when my tears won't stop falling for him. Matty have left me. Matty never returned my calls not because he's scared of falling again for me. He never returned my calls because he's gone. How I wish we could've said our goodbyes. I should've said I love you too while I still can. But it is all too late now.

Matty is the reason why I moved to Brighton. Everything about London reminds me of him especially at this time. He once asked me to ride the London eye with him but I refused because I was scared and anxious.. What I did not know is could never see this view with him anymore. I should have said yes back then but my anxiety ate me. Up until now his memory still haunts me even in Brighton. I never had the courage to clean up my room because I keep remembering when he decorated my room. Now I can finally say that ‘There's a Reason Why (I Never Returned Your Calls) by Blossoms reminds me of someone.

Before I even get drowned by my whirlpool of grief, Lily brought me back to reality.

“Bailee are you alright?”

“Yeah I think I am"

I still find parts of you. In the corners of my bedroom. Someday comes too soon. The radio plays our favourite tune again.