#honestly there isnt much i love more than watching her in the field

[abirddogmoment]

Ready for sniffings

[vickyyoon]

Paring - best friend hyunjin x fem!reader

Genre : smut, fluff

Warnings : heart melting amount of fluff and very very soft sex.

Synopsis : your best friend always had feelings for you but you never came to know that especially when you found yourself so little next to him.

You were slouched on the couch with your best friend hyunjin's head on your shoulder as you watch a movie that was apparently " super popular and amazing".

Soon you guys got bored and decided to catch up on somethings you guys missed out when he was visiting his grandma.

You ranted and ranted on and on to him about how you were just so single and it burned your skin watching couples. Your family always made you feel left out because of that.

" they always go on group dates with my cousins, relatives, siblings and others. I could be there with them right now but Is it because I'm ugly? Am I not good enough? Why do I have to be single! " you were about to explode in anger.

"like this time again? That's so rude honestly. I mean they're your family" he watched you rant on and on smiling and finding it cute.

" they don't even call me! They just leave me all alone! How hurt could I even be? Why is everyone taken!?" you cry.

You looked like you were about to tear up. And he gave you a comforting hug. You had rare friends that comfort you like him. You always wondered how he was so patient listening to you for hours.

" I find your stories interesting and funny. That's why I like you." making you happy and feel a bit better.

You go to the kitchen and bring out a bucket of ice cream you keep for yourself especially on these days. He watched you shove your mouth and rant on and on... again.

It was entertaining until you brought up a boy. " You remember Lee know? Well I always liked him but he's been so distant I swear I can't reach him. I feel like being with him for the rest of my life but he's always so much better than me and it makes me feel so small" you pout.

" at this rate I'll be single forever. I wish I could get close to him. If school ends how will I ever be with him?!" you were tearing up from that thought.

His face changed too he wasn't smiling like before, he looked a bit hurt. He couldn't even hear you when his mind flood with thoughts.

Such a pretty girl, what a pity she isnt taken. And if you would be his he would be the happiest person in the entire world. He remembered when he was in that same loop hole.

Waking up drenched in sweat with the thought of you being with someone else. He worked so hard just to be your friend. He worked even harder just to be your best friend and now his mind only ached with those memories of how hard he tried.

He liked you since first grade. You were the apple of his eye, A sweet melody played on his mind when he thinks about you. In fact whenever he sees you, he only finds good memories. Like the beautiful scenery of a field of colorful flowers or a dawn where the sun's ray of light hit the waves of the sea on a misty blue morning.

You were his only reason to live. You were his only purpose to find life because he was lost before he found a reason to live.

Today his heart ached to hear such a thing from you. Tears threatened to leave his eyes but he knew very well how much it swells in your heart to not have the person you want close to you because he's been though all of that.

You could tell something was wrong. " H-hyunjin? Is there something wrong?" he shook his head smiling at you.

"No it's just that minho is taken, didn't you know that?" he couldnt believe but he's lying now.

" wah-what? But no one told me!" to add feul to the fire he lies even more. "it seems like they're in deep love too. He said he's planning to propose to her after graduation.I'm surprised you didn't know That" hyunjin said.

"wah-what no! Why? Wh-why is this happening to me?" you were breaking down and he came closer to you and gave you a comforting hug that you cried onto his shoulders in seconds.

" If you're really looking for someone..." he pauses. " you have me. I'm ready to be yours. I've always liked you." you froze in your place.

He pulls out from the hug. He stares at you who was speechless. You know you've always liked him but you always knew that he was never going to be yours especially when he's just your best friend who always looks out for you. You could never loose him so you always pushed that tight far far away so much so you found yourself looking for others to keep yourself distracted.

"I-I'm really sorry if you don't think of me like that." he stumbles over his words ready to leave.

"wait." you grab his wrist sitting him down. "what do you mean you've always liked me?" and he stared at you before telling you how he's spent half of his life just chasing you.

It was the first day of 1st grade that his eyes landed on you. From then he liked you. That feeling grew much bigger by each grade.

" if you remember that field trip in 7th grade where we went to a huge mountain. I only stared at you looking at the mist and fog near the railing of the huge mountain. You looked liked my lost happiness." and from then he chased after you even harder,

Shifting his body, mind, behavior and likings just to be perfect for you.

You just stare at him only wondering how this popular hot boy only ran after you when he was surrounded by pretty people.

"it wasn't just your looks, your smile reminded me of my first time star gazing with my mom. I could remember that moment only when I saw you smile." you flushed.

" it started with just you but then I fell harder for your personality, behavior and kindness. How could you exist? How could a person like you even exist? I only knew I needed you."

This was when he became your best friend. "it didn't mean anything if it meant changing myself for you. I would happily do that to be a better person. Maybe I don't know my real self because I changed for you but I'm happy like this."

You were crying again. You only needed to hug him. " if only you be mine, my soul will rest in peace." he said kissing your forehead and you nod your head in his chest.

---------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in between those tears you two were turning hot and burned from the inside, searching for that one feeling of relief.

Before you knew it, you two were making out. You were on top of him while sat still. Eating each other hungrily.

Out of some intense climax you started grinding on his hard bulge hinting him what you were craving.

You took off your hoodie and your little top, then your pants, underwear and bra. You guys stripped every piece of clothing off of each other.

You could only admire his physique just wondering why you didn't ask him out earlier. This all could have been yours.

He was shaking pulling down his boxers. He came towards you with his hard pink red cock leaking pre cum. It was big.

You were resting your head on the armrest of the couch. He lifts your legs to your chest. Staring at your wet cunt.

He picked up your wet slick and stuck a finger inside. Making you whine at the feeling. He admired your sweaty red flushed face.

He licks your wet cunt, the texture of his tongue shivered you.

You didn't know if the feeling was because of the sensitivity of your first time or the feeling of being fucked by hyunjin made you this mess.

You were whining and whining until he started to pump into you. Lewd moans escaped your mouth.

You were grinding on his fingers. " Pl-please. I just fuck me already." just waiting for him to fit inside you.

Without another word he sticks his cock in you giving you a stretch you think youll never find this good. Before you knew it he was slowly thrusting in you.

" that feels good. I always knew your walls you'd feel good but never thought it would feel as this good." he moaned.

Shit...this wasn't him fucking you. It was him making love to you

His wet lips draped over your entire body. Covering you with marks and wet kisses. Touching everything single soft parts discovering you and your favorite parts.

The feeling was tingling. Even though his thrusts were slow and agonizing, the feeling made you blush harder with every thrust. Just the thought of him in you, and how much he wanted you. You finally felt wanted.

" Y/n I've rejected every single girl I my life, hoping I'd have you one day." he claimed. " and you're not ugly, it was me who warned all the boys off."

Though the confession hurt you, you liked how he did so much just to get to you. " only if you asked me out earlier, I wouldnt have to do this." those words spun in your head.

You realize how he's been hinting you all along but you've never thought of it like that.

" oh please! Mmh- just please go faster." a tear slips down your face.

This pace picks up a bit faster. The feeling has your walls wrapped around him.

" baby please loosen up, I might not last any longer if you keep up like this." he moans his face flushing aswell.

His face is buried in the crotch of your neck and you can feel his burning hot cheeks and sweat. His breathe was shaky and warm.

With every thrust you felt bubbling up, so much closer and closer to your first orgasm.

And him kissing and caressing your face did not help. The thrusts got sloppier and sloppier till it only made wet sounds.

" ahh I-Im close." you chocked on a moan, he moved even faster. Til both of you came together.

Both a panting, shaking mess. The feeling was euphoric, you wanted this every single day. Forget about Lee know.

" now are you still single?" he asked laying beside you looking at you stare at the ceiling.

"then will you be my boyfriend and be only mine?" you chuckled but looking back at him the question was his life. His eyes were teary.

" ye-yes! Ofcourse" he said. And you can see the sparks in his eyes. He really wanted you, and he really needed you. He looked like he won in his life.

[rawwkfingers]

Logopolis

One thing I've really come to enjoy from watching Classic is the way its allowed me to recontextualize events in New. This serial singlehandedly made me more on board with both the Flux and the bigeneration and it honestly baffles me that RTD didnt put that connection into The Giggle, even in passing, to help pave the way for his idea

I know WHY he didnt, because he enjoys his happy headcanon that every Doctor got a happy ending. But since thats not in the show and thus not canon (yet) I'm choosing to believe that the bigeneration was a result of time almost eroding in the Flux, akin to the Watcher's presence due to entropy here

To be fair, I'm putting a lot of headcanon of my own here since the Watcher is just not explained. I dont even know if I'd have been able to draw that conclusion if I didnt have the bigeneration as a reference point. I do think this was the writers intentions with the Watcher, just poorly explained like a lot of the science of this serial was

In general, the writing was a little all over the place this serial. Tegan is simultaneously really well written, she has an immediate energy in every scene, while also feeling slapped together. Her total non-reaction to being swept off to a new planet beyond "I'm gonna be late for work" gave me whiplash but her reaction to her aunts death was great (tho that has more to do with Fielding's acting than the writing)

The Logopolis stuff was also poorly explained until we were given a crumb of "they keep the universe together" and the Doctor's decision to fix the chameleon circuit feels like it came out of nowhere

This was not perfect

However, I did like it a lot, mainly because of the various interactions with the Master. His teamup with the Doctor was great, with the Doctor's awareness this is how he dies palpable

And then the juxtaposition of them working together with Nyssa's realization her entire planet is destroyed, because of the Master (who is wearing her father's face!!!) Again, with the context of New Who, it really brings to question just how complicit the Doctor is in all the various war crimes the Master has committed

In a way, this all is a perfect farewell for the Fourth Doctor. His era had some of the strongest writing in the entire series (Ark, Genesis, Pyramids, City) while also some of the worst (Talons, Leisure Hive, Deadly Assassin.) Having a story with confusing lore but strong character work is very fitting

Baker really was great, but there was something about him that always prevented me from LOVING him the way I do Pertwee. Part of that is that I'm not a huge fan of Baker as a person, but I think the other part of that was the way the show moved away from the explicit political stories that I loved so much. I'm sure the worldbuilding stuff that the era was so focused on was fascinating for contemporary viewers, but as a newer fan I either already knew it or it'd been retconned and wasnt enjoyable

His energy was contagious though and I loved the way he brought a levity and joy to the show while also taking the serious scenes with complete seriousness. I remember reading that he agonized over making sure to do Genesis justice because it was such a strong script

His last season started off weak, but ended strong

1. The Keeper of Traken. Just a really, really strong serial on top of introducing Nyssa, who I love and would die for

2. Full Circle. Ever since his introduction where I compared Adric to Atreyu, I've loved the character so of course his first story is this high

3. State of Decay. As much as I love this serial for helping shift the way I view Classic as a whole, its actual plot is fairly standard which prevents it from being higher

4. Logopolis. All the character work is great, all the technobabble isnt

5. Warriors' Gate. I feel like Romana deserved better than the departure she for

6. Meglos. I just find it a little stale and boring, nothing bad but nothing good

7. The Leisure Hive. It was a fun concept but the absolutely horrific editing makes it unwatchable

The companions of this era are all amazing so it'll be hard ranking them but

1. Sarah Jane Smith. There was never going to be any other choice here ofc, she's the face of Classic Who companions for a reason. She steals every scene she's in I love her

2. K9. One of the rare instances where the silly mascot character is truly incredible. Every scene he was in was fantastic and I want one of my own

3. Romana II. Cute and charming snd immensely lovable. Every time she was on screen I wanted more of her

4. Romana I. I loved Mary Tamm's portrayal, she always gave the Doctor as much sass as he gave her and the way she always carried herself as aloof from it all was amazing. But the chemistry of Ward and Baker is unmatched

5. Leela. It pains me SO much putting her this low but she was always the type of character who I loved in spite of her writing rather than because of it. She never had any of the truly GREAT stories the others did

6. Harry. He's the only companion of this era I actively disliked I'm sorry

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

what are your thoughts on todays ep? I can’t believe they’re doing ej like this all because JB has to cling to relevancy as the leading man /:

Ahh i have many thoughts I live-wrote reactions as I watched which I will be posting in a sec but stars this was an interesting episode.

this episode just made me sad for EJ because he's trying so hard why is everyone always like "where's EJ" "why isn't EJ here" "wtf EJ" as if EJ isn't carrying their futures on his back.

I really, really loved the beginning scene with Portwell in today's episode, the earnest way he says he's doing this so they can have a future, literally so cute i can't. I just wish we could have seen more understanding from Gina throughout the episode after that conversation, like I love my girl Gina and I get it your relationship is in a rough place but he told you why he's not able to be as active in camp things or spend as much time around her. yeah it sucks that you have two weeks together that were supposed to be fun and dandy but you wont have any more weeks together after the summer if EJ doesn't make this succeed so two weeks of him being busy isnt the worst thing.

Like no way should EJ be villainised for missing her basketball shot while working on the show. It's not like he was frollicking in a field or playing video games or something and oops he missed it; he was working on building their future. Actually on that note people saying EJ is so focused on their future he can't live in the present HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT without screwing over the entire show and cast (his friend family). If he "lives in the present" with Gina they might not get to have a future at all!!

As for Ricky, i actually love Ricky and thought he was a lot of fun this episode, as per usual, but honestly that ending kind of scared me. Like...what was that?? I hope it's not an allusion to him bringing back season 1 Ricky bc none of us need/want that. But anyways I think the plotline they've had going with Jet and Ricky is GREAT and an awesome way to keep him relevant so his role on the show is more than chasing after someone else's girl and putting minimal effort into whatever show he's in. I do love Ricky and i think he's done a lot of great things throughout the show but it was time to start doing new things.

Which is why it would have been even better if they had gone for the Ricky/Jet angle, bc it's not like Kourtney needs a new love interest she has Howie (even though I find Jet and Kourt interesting if that's the angle they're going with), and Ricky and Jet make so much sense together and have a ton of chemistry. If the show wanted to really go new directions with his character (which, he has been growing and learning and i like that), having him figuring out his sexuality would have been cool.

And I agree, they don't need to mess with EJ's character, put him in a bad situation (a repeat of what he's already gone through except worse bc he's down hard for Gina and he's a better person now), and ruin Gina's happy first relationship for Ricky to have something to do in the show, because there are other options.

[wizkiddx]

Blurb req- Tom and the reader on a private jet hungover? just pure fluff?

fluffy requests are well and truly open ( bcos I adored writing this ahah) and let me know what u think , I am deff not a writer so any feedback or tips would be v appreciated :))

summary: tomhollandxactress!reader - a wrap party followed by an early morning flight and a grumpy Harry, what could possibly go wrong?

warning: mentions of alcohol and sickness

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The remorse. The regret. It only made the pounding in your head even worse. Why those two 1.5 litre bottle of Bacardi had been brought out was beyond you. Why the you six of you had then decided to empty said bottle was even more of a mystery. It wasn’t like any of you had needed it, you’d all been more than ‘merry’ prior to the cheap rum and coke. 

Hence the state of you, Tom and Harry as well as your manager Davey and Tom’s team of Rachel and Andrew. All having made very little effort with your appearance - joggers and hoodies all round, with you and Rachel also sporting sunglasses because you were simply smarter than the boys. Thankfully, this wasn’t a big trip that fans knew about, this was you and Tom moving location under cover  - the studios didnt want anybody to know that either of you made a feature in this film, so everything was under the cover of darkness. Which to be honest you were not complaining about. However, you were complaining about the fact the flight had been scheduled to leave at 7 am the night after your wrap party though.

The two of you had just wrapped your most recent and most ambitious movie to date - hence the massive celebrations last night for just surviving and getting it done. It had been the most intense 3 months of your life, there had been times you’d cry for hours on end, times you just wanted to quit fully knowing you’d never be hired again for leaving a multimillion dollar company in the lurch.But you all, somehow, had survived. So celebrations were in order of course but perhaps not as far as you all managed last night?

Your whole convey appeared to have travelled to the airfield in absolute silence, no one particularly fancied hearing anyone else’s voice- which to be honest seemed quite fair. You’d ridden in a car with Tom and Harry, with you resting your head on Tom’s broad shoulder - which had obviously made Harry gag, rolling his eyes. Bless Harry, really he was the only reason you and Tom had got together, after getting sick of the mutual pining he’d been forced to live with during the previous 2 projects you’d worked on together. But now, having had to put up with the two of you being so ridiculously loved up for the past 3 months - understandably a bit of distance from you and his brother was overdue. 

One of the flight attendants busied themselves loading your luggage, whilst the pilot asked you and Tom for a photo. Of course, you weren’t going to say no however you did have to cringe at how rough you both looked. His teenage daughter certainly would be less excited to see that her Dad hadn’t met Tom Holland and Y/n Y/l/n. Instead he’d met the zombified, undead and rougher frauds. Still you smiled as much as you could, wincing when you removed the glasses and the early morning sun pierced your restricted pupils. God it wasn’t your day. 

The guy didn’t seem to mind though, excitedly hurrying off onto the plane to settle in the rest of you - leaving just you and Tom outside on the tarmac. 

“Poor guy, we look like shit.” You murmured while taking a step closer to lean slightly into his side. 

“Speak for yourself love.’Tom snickered into the top of your head, after pulling you completely into his chest. This wasn’t normally allowed, your relationship still wasn’t public and both of you intended on keeping it private for as long as possible. But you were in an otherwise empty field in the middle of nowhere (somewhere in Georgia) before 8 am. It was actually quite nice to feel your boyfriends arms round you in the outside world, especially when you felt this shit. After a few moments you pulled away, arching back at Tom’s pouty face as you motioned it was time to get on the plane. 

“’S too late you know.” Your brows furrowed at his half formed sentence, facial expression only demanding him to explain more. “They all have already taken the good seats… Harry basically sprinted on so he can hog the bed thing.” In response it was your turn to pout, groaning as you fell back into his chest again. Yes, this was a complete first world issue, a private jet paid completely by your bosses was not something a lot would moan about. Truly you were grateful for everything you had in life, but with the worst hangover of your life when the opportunity of lying down for 6 hours instead of being stuck in a chair had manifested itself… well of course you felt robbed by your almost brother Harry. 

Chuckling at your reaction, he gave you an extra squeeze before leading the both of you up the stairs to the cabin. Sure enough Harry had completely and totally claimed the longer couch at the far end of the plane, lying on his stomach with his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. Rolling your eyes at the predictable situation, you didn’t miss Davey laughing at your sorry state - nmaking you throw daggers at him in your eyes. 

Davey was your second father, the relationship between the two of you far transcended any professional working one. Which is why the two of you acting like this was very much a norm and not rude at all. He had also got the next best seat in the corner with the most leg room which he clearly loved to show off. 

Unsurprisingly then you and Tom ended up squashed into the corner with your legs crumpled up together in the small space floor space. The brunette opposite you didn’t seem to mind so much but that was because he had an adaptational advantage. He could sleep anywhere and everywhere , whenever he wanted. On set if he was tired? Just take a ten minute power nap on the floor. Bored of a long car journey? Just conk out against the window. It absolutely infuriated you, as no matter how hard and how exhausted you were - it was rare you could get any further than a light doze. Even before the two go you got together, having a best mate that could skip all the boring bits and was immune to jet lag… you can see how that makes you want to punch him square in the face.

After a short safety talk from the pilot and flight attendant, the plane whirred into life and you were up in the air. Although in your current state, it would be reasonable to assume the beauty of flying had somewhat rubbed off - you were certain it never would. No matter how many flights you took across country ,and in fact continents, for work; you’d never get sick of watching the view below you. It was perfect and breathtaking and took your mind off the pounding in the back of your head for the first 20 minutes.

Until the need for sleep took over as either you need to be unconcious or you were going to vomit - which you really didn’t want to do at 40,000 feet in a tin box. Trying to rearrange your limbs to get comfier you accidentally knocked Tom’s leg rather forcefully, causing him to jump half out his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly as he tried to get his baring as to what was attacking him - quickly answered by your guilty look. 

“You okay love?” His voice was slurred, sounding almost sleep drunk - but perhaps was just actually still a little drunk. You’d only headed to bead last night at 4 am and had to be up at 6 - which isnt very long for your poor kidneys to try and process the stupid amount of alcohol you’d both  happily been chugging the night before.

“Feel shitty and cant sleep.” You weren’t in the mood to white lie - honestly some sympathy from your beautiful boyfriend seemed like a dream at the moment. Tom’s idea was better though.

“C’mere then.” His arms outstretched, you immediately jumped into his lap - the two of you shifting about to get comfortable till you were sat side on to him, your bum and back leaning against the arm rest of the chair with your legs going over his thighs and pressing against the wall of the plane. Pulling you closer to his chest, Tom took a deep breath as he pressed his chin against the crown of your head; your face now nested into his chest. 

Nothing needed to be said as the two of you melted into each others bodies, the slow and deepening breathing enough to prove to each other you were both incredibly contented in that moment. More than that you felt safe- you’d admitted to Tom some weeks ago that you had never ever slept better than when he was beside you. Yeh it was cringey but sometimes that’s allowed right? 

… well not to Harry. Because as the plane was about to begin it’s descent, the pilot had tasked Harry (who had slept off the worst of the hangover and had spent the last 30 minutes of the flight scoffing at how adorable the two of you looked fast asleep together) - even after Rach had scalded him and had taken a photo of the two of you on her phone. 

Causing Harry to ,ever subtly, wake the two of you up by throwing his half empty water bottle over your heads. 

Safe to say, Harry very nearly didn’t leave that jet alive.

[sadisticyouko]

honestly i tend to latch onto any characters thatre kinda fucked up and obsessive with their attraction bc yandere stuff is like. a really big vibe for me jfjdjfj and its why i sometimes project a bit of yandere-ism on other chars too jfksjf i be out here kinning himiko toga and shes not a low kin by any means- ACTUALLY i just remembered a song, its one im absolutely obsessed with, cant tell if itd be ur style or not but its Mx Sinster by I Dont Know How But They Found Me and its. very good creepy lover yandere song 👀 (their other song Choke isnt the same vibe but its an upbeat violent song which is really really fun too :3 )

also yeah i dont relate to hiei at all but im absolutely obsessed with him because he hits like. all of my points of Favorite Character. which means basically he checks off all of the points of shadow the hedgehog, who im equally obsessed with HFKSHFK the only difference is that hiei is much more of an asshole and has no problem with murder lmao. but hes SO. hot. cute. handsome. im literally thinking about him constantly daily and its absolutely a key part of my major kurama kin feels hfksjf i just want to hold him so baddd. sits him in my lap and kisses and bites him. edgy lil tsundere who owns my heart

also its no worries !!! i dont mind vents on my dash, hell on the occasion ill vent on my main too lol. its ur blog so do whatever the hell u want with it !! sometimes we just gotta yell shit out of our brain!

ALSO YEA IM VERY INTROVERTED TOO and conversing in asks like this at first is for some reason easier. less daunting. brains r so weird fbsjf BUT sometime. hopefully soon. i will try to dm u. or u can try to dm me first if u want fjdkfj hell if ud wanna talk on discord instead (if u have one) u could lmk bc i tend to be more active on there since im always chattin with my gf there lol. but yeah uve always just gave me a vibe of someone thatd be fun to chill with !!! (so hopefully we both can breach our introversion to actually chat LOL)

Omg I LOVE himiko 🥺 I kin her relationship with her family but I’m not exact enough to say I fully kin her 😂 I don’t really relate to too many ppl in mha (except maaybe todoroki, or ururaka on a good day) I kin so many people in yyh cuz I grew up watching it and reading the manga since I was 9 ! and then proceeded to read very inappropriate fanfiction for the rest of my life apparently 😂 so they’ve all had very strong influences on my personality ! yandere is a favorite vibe of mine, I haven’t heard those songs but I’ll definitely check them out ! i like the aggressive stuff so it sounds like it’d be right up my alley !

and omg that makes so much sense ! hiei is definitely … attractive >\\\\\< it’s the height that makes me conflicted tho ! I’m only 5 feet tall but I still struggle with the idea of it 😂 his personality is perfect tho 👌 definitely simp material, he’s still one of my all time favorite characters and for good reason ! I feel like if I think too hard about him I’ll fall down the rabbit hole of crushing on him and I won’t be able to stop, and kurama wouldn’t like that very much at all ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

yea idk how but it feels easier like this for first time interactions ! It’s like I’m in a big open field and it makes me feel safer than if I were a bunny in the cardboard chat box or something IDK 😂 we’re just gonna play dm chicken until someone cracks 😂 I don’t have a discord but I’m almost always on here ! don’t be afraid to dm me ! sometimes my social battery runs out BUT I enjoy the interaction !! ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

[netflixbingger]

I’ll Find You - Part 1

Chapter 1: Zuzu To The Rescue - Prince Zuko x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Zuko were thick as thieves growing up. Of course at a young age the idea of romantic love isnt really thought about, but from a outsiders perspective it is clear as day that Y/N and Zuko’s friendship will blossom into something much more. As the two grow with one another, they are slowly pulled apart to become enemies. Soon Y/N finds herself amongst the Avatar, but can she put aside her longing feelings for Zuko and fight for what is right? And can Zuko prove to her that there is still good within him?

Word Count: 1,408

Notes: Hi Guys! I know this idea has been written a few times within the Zuko fandom, but I couldn't help it... I’m a sucker for reunited friends turn into lovers :P This first chapter is just a short drabble to show the type of friendship that Zuko and Y/N had as little kids. I think its important to see the friendship at different ages to show their personal growth. 

You tried to control your breathing, tried to steady the airflow leaving your mouth in heavy pants. You were anxious, gripping the grass below you like your life depended on it. You felt like you had been running for miles only for him to continuously find you. But not this time, you won’t allow it. Your eyes strained to see through the bushes, but you were still able to make out the running figures of your friends trying to find a spot to hide. Thinking you were safe from his clutches you let your body fully collapse to the ground. After a few minutes you were beginning to regain your breath, but you froze as you heard a crunch of leaves behind you and an ominous voice that followed, “I told you, wherever you go, I will find you.”

Slowly clenching your eyes shut you turned around to face your seeker, Prince Zuko. His hair was pulled back from his face as tiny beads of sweat were beating off his mischievous brows. He wore a playful smirk as he began to corner you in. Kneeling down to level with your eyes he slowly reached his hand out and lightly tapped your nose. “Tag, you’re it” he chuckled before turning away and disappearing behind the bushes. Damn it, you hated being it ; it was almost impossible to catch up with Ty Lee, she was always twirling around and showing off her athletic abilities. Mai was always so well hidden that no one ever found her, she’d make it through the entire game without being caught once. The game of tag always ended in bickering back and forth between your friends, especially when Azula played. She never played by the rules and would throw threats if you came close to finding her. The only person that played the game honestly was Zuko; he stayed in territory and never used his “stunts”, at least not with you.

Sighing, you got up from your sitting position on the grass and stepped out into the field. You looked around aimlessly hoping to find one of your friends. You’d throw an occasional remark into the air hoping to catch a chuckle, but the garden remained silent. After a few minutes of walking the perimeter of the pond, you placed yourself underneath the trees preparing to give up. But as you leaned back on the rough bark, you heard a set of giggles. Immediately looking around, you were confused when you discovered you were alone. It was only when you heard a “shush” that you realized the noises were coming from above you. Quickly looking upward you were surprised to see 3 of your friends sitting atop the tree branches. “Come on guys,” you yelled crossing your arms, “You know I can’t climb well!”

Azula’s sly chuckle responded, “Oh, just add it to your list”

You clenched your jaw trying to hold back the amount of insults you could throw her way. “Just come on down, this isn't fair and you know it.” You didn't have the willpower to stop your foot from stomping on the ground as you tried to hold in your tears. Happy to see Mai begin to descend down the tree, you were left disappointed as she was shortly stopped by Azula. “Oh, don't cry about it. I never said we were going to play fair, besides it's good practice! See this as a climbing exercise,” she smirked, “Come get us.”

You pushed the sleeves of your dark crimson dress away from your hands as you stepped closer to the tree. You wanted to climb up there and prove Azula wrong, but the moment your hands touched the bark you chickened out. How did they get up there? Your thoughts were soon disrupted as you heard the mean whispers between the 3 girls. Staring upwards once again, you threw an angered glare in their direction. But your annoyance disappeared as you heard the comforting voice of your friend Zuko from behind you. “Azula, cut it out”. Suddenly you were no longer mad and upset, but instead a sense of pride filled your body as the boy defended you.

However that pride quickly dispersed as the chuckling above continued, “Oh look, Zuzu has come to save the day.” Azula and Ty Lee laughed at your and Zuko’s reddened faces, both blabbering on how Zuko always had to come to your rescue.

“Azula, get down from there.” The stern but soft voice seemingly appeared from nowhere and ended all comments. You didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to, Ursa’s voice was a sound you could never forget. 

Ursa was basically family to you, she and your mom were close with one another, best friends even. Your mom would tell you stories of her and Ursa as teenagers and how they would explore the nations together. Your mother's friendship was the reason why you were so close to Zuko, and even to Azula at times. You were introduced to the two siblings a few years ago when your family moved from the colonies into the city. As soon as Ursa got the news of your mother's move she was quick to invite your whole family over. Your parents intended on forging a friendship between Azula and yourself, but they were surprised when you formed a stronger connection with Zuko. The two mothers would chuckle at the awkward exchanges in the beginning, but both soon hoped for a future marriage as they watched your friendship grow. 

There was no denying that you were a pretty girl. Even at the age of 9 there wasn't any doubt that you would grow into a beautiful young lady, suitable for Zuko’s hand in marriage. Ursa had never intended on arranging any type of relationship between the two of you, but she was rather hopeful as she watched you grow with one another. There was a spark between you that was undeniable. Even Firelord Ozai was able to see the chemistry between the two young children, but he refused any talk of courtship until your firebending skills improved. He believed that the future rulers of the Fire Nation needed to be strong and ruthless, no signs of weaknesses were allowed. So, as he watched you and Zuko play with the turtle ducks instead of practicing your bending, he began to despise the idea of his son's friendship with you.

“Alright little one, time to head in, say your goodbyes,” Ursa’s soft voice spoke as she watched your and Zuko’s faces fill with shock. Zuko was quick to turn towards his mother, pulling gently on her sleeve. “But moooom, can’t they stay just a little bit longer?”

“I'm afraid that isn't up to me Zuko. Y/N’s mother needs to go home, it’s getting dark out.”

“What about a sleepover?” the young boy exclaimed with a slight crack in his voice.

“Zuko, Y/N slept over last week, now come on,” Ursa firmly grabbed onto Zuko’s hand as she stared within the trees. “Azula, please climb down from there.”

Your mother chuckled as she watched the exchange; tugging on your hand, she began to pull you from the scene and towards the door. You waved your goodbyes at the boy and threw him a toothless smile as Azula jumped from the trees with grace. Brushing off the dirt and twigs from her clothes, she yelled, “Don't worry Y/N, I’m sure Zuko will be able to play dolls with you tomorrow!”

Your eyes widened as Zuko angrily whispered,”That was one time!”

As your mother laughed at Zuko’s words, you couldn't help but blush with embarrassment. Your friends’ bickering slowly dimmed as your mother dragged you further out of the palace. It was times like these where you wished your family lived closer to Zuko’s home, lucky Mai got to stay almost all night as her walk home was less than a minute. But as you pulled further into the city, you held your head high and stared at the forming stars above. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of Zuko gazing at the same stars that were painted in the sky. Giggling to yourself in glee, you told your mother of the fun you had with your friends and how excited you were to see them again tomorrow. And maybe Azula was right, maybe you would get to play dolls with Zuko tomorrow!

---------

Tell me your thoughts below!

Also, special thanks to @shaynawrites23​ + @pph0le​ for all their help with this story!

[wolf-heart1197]

MASS EFFECT DS9 CROSSOVER PLEASE SHARE SOME THOUGHTS

You have. Opened a can of worms, friend.

WELL.

Ok so as far as set up i was picturing like. Wormhole/space magic shenanigans bringing the Normandy to DS9, set somewhere during that little window after Shep and Co. return from the Suicide Mission at the end of 2, but before Shep turns themself in to the Alliance.

The Normandy, badly damaged, limping up to this mysterious space station theyve never seen or heard of before, don't even recognize the outline or architecture, but hey at least they seem to be friendly? And they're offering to help fix our ship and get us back where we need to be so I guess they aren't all bad?

So then Shep and crew are stranded on DS9 for at LEAST a couple weeks while they try to get the Normandy fixed up, and allllll the shenanigans the respective crews get into, especially once they start interacting with each other

-There's the obvious of course, Shepard and Sisko would get along fantastically, I think. Both the leaders of crews of mixed bags, sometimes trying to get them to work together is like herding cats. Strong cats with guns and opinions, but at the end of the day they really are kind of a family, aren't they?

-Both are able to understand what was supposed to be one (relatively) simple mission turning into way more lives at stake than they signed up for (Shep with. Well. The entire events of the trilogy, but then Sisko too. Bring Bajor into the Federation. Thats it, that was the mission, but suddenly we're at war with a frankly stronger superpower from another quadrant and suddenly one station is supposed to be the head of it all? The pressure. The lives at stake if they fail. Yeah.)

As for the rest of the crew:

-The next obvious, I think, would Grunt and Worf. Very different methods and cultures, obviously. I'm not saying they'd necessarily GET ALONG even, but there'd be a mutual respect there, I think. Both coming from warrior races, fighting is in their blood, its what they know. And theyre both outsiders to their own culture, being raised primarily if not exclusively by Someone Else, having to fight for their right to have a place amongst their own people. There's a shared strength in that.

-Mordin and Garak, and their shared past as spies. Garak's penchant for lying with every other word out of his mouth vs Mordin's tendency to only say about half of the words in his sentences, each trying to weasel the truth out of the other. Each at the very least recognizing that theyve done horrible things in their past, but not necessarily having regrets for them. Well, no regrets they're willing to admit to.

-BUT THEN ALSO Mordin and Jadzia, really just. Best Science Bros. Mordin can be extremely focused, which I think might turn Jadzia off of him at first, up until she catches him singing under his breath while he works. And once their discussions start trending more towards the importance of art and culture alongside scientific advancement is when they really start to shine together. Also I think Mordin would be absolutely FASCINATED by the Trill, the symbiotic relationship and the symbiont carrying memories across hosts, how the symbionts and hosts merge, etc. Nothing like that really exists in the ME universe

-Julian and Dr. Chakwas could talk some about medicine, certainly, barring nothing else about the differences in their respective medical technology. But I think ultimately she would get tired of his attitude, and he would decide she didn't really have anything new to teach him.

-Julian, I think, would be much more interested in spending time with EDI and Legion. I mean, consider how he was in the one TNG episode, when he got to meet Data? He would be over the moon especially for a chance to study legion. The Geth Collective is genuinely an interesting idea, and I think he would be fascinated by the varrying levels of simulated intelligence, but without individuality. EDI would be an interesting study, because this would be before she got the mech body, so she would still for all intents and purposes "be" the Normandy. A ship as a living entity? With emotional attachment to the crew inside? Absolutely fascinating. And if it were a bit alter on that this happens? She has wants! And fears! Absolutely fascinating!

-Dr. Chakwas, on the other hand, would probably end up spending her time with Keiko O'Brien. Swapping stories about their times being forced to be on the relative sidelines, having to watch all the horrible things their loved ones are constantly dealing with and only being able to do so much. Keiko's exasperation with Miles and Chakwas' with Joker. (And Shepard). Plus really i just like to imagine them having tea together ¯\_(��)_/¯

-Kira Thane and Mordin I can picture spending hours upon hours deep in discussion, about ethics and morality and religion, and how the hell you're supposed to reconcile it all when you have so much darkness in your past.

-Kira and Thane, especially, have a lot to talk about. Kira fighting in the resistance her whole life vs Thane being raised as a living weapon, both deeply spiritual and refusing to believe that their respective peaces are denied to them, that they can still find their own redemption and make up for their pasts.

-Joker would spend a lot of time trying to avoid Julian, who I think would be very insistent on wanting to study his Vrolik's syndrome, and possibly trying to cure it. Joker really Does Not Like Him.

-Tali would inevitably spend a lot of time together with Miles, because assumedly they'd be working on fixing the Normandy together (when Miles isnt busy trying to fix one of DS9's 50 million other problems). I don't know that they'd honestly have much in common aside from engineering-related stuff, but they're both geniuses in their respective versions of their fields and comparing the 2 universe's technologies alone could take more discussion time than they would have.

-I don't think Jack would. Actually try to get along with anyone. I see her spending the vast majority if her time camping out in a holosuite trying to program it to let her kill simulations of everyone she's pissed at.

-Miranda and Julian. The two genetically engineered kids. Yeah there'd be a lot to talk about there. Parent drama? Feeling like you have something to prove?? Trying to find the "you" underneath the genetic tampering??? Yeah they'd get along.

-Ok hear me out on this but. I really think Garrus and Garak would end up having a lot in common. I mean, think about it: Cardassian military/goverment/cultural structure compared to the Turians? Love of state above all else, everything is for the State (but then family above even that). And on a more personal level? Getting into a profession, a LIFE, to impress your father and then it still isn't good enough, nothing will ever be good enough, so you keep trying and going to more and more extremes to be good enough and still nothing matters. And you haven't given up on your people, no, never, but they sure have seemed to give up on you, in a way, haven't they? Exiled (Garak), ignored at every turn (Garrus), but hey, here's this one human at least that'll listen to you, and maybe even help you where others won't, so maybe things aren't all bad? Garak lies through his teeth at every turn, Garrus knows this, but he knows where to pick up the specs of truth, too.

-Jacob, bless his soul, gets roped into "babysitting" Jake and Nog. Jake distracts him by taking advantage of his chill exterior, just long enough for Nog to set off chaos halfway across the station. Cue montage of Jacob chasing the boys up and down the Promenade.

...that's all I got I am. Definitely willing to discuss more/get add-ons to this/hear other people's ideas!!!

Man this got long ajxhahavxhs

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It’s a Grey Area

Chapter 3

‘Italics’ - thoughts.

A/N: Some Luke bashing, cause I feel he deserved it a bit. Honestly surprised I’m still continuing this.

A good week had passed since that mission. Poe was busy investigating who could have possibly leaked the information about the mission but came up empty with every avenue he ventured. Blix returned to work in the Med bay and tried to ignore the thoughts of everyone’s minds that were now creeping into her head. She only vaguely noticed that Poe had yet to come visit her in the infirmary but understood that he was working.

The day had started exhausting, she had only gotten maybe an hour of sleep, due to echoing thoughts of everyone around her. She kept dropping everything and making a huge mess. After the fourth time, she backed away from the table, and said with a heavy sigh, “Amber, take over, I’m- I’m going to go for a walk, and I may or may not be back.”

She walked out of the Med bay and took a stroll around the base. She was trying to calm her mind, and it was not going well. Eventually her stroll came to the area in which Luke was training Rey and Ben. She took a spot on an empty crate and watched from afar. As she watched Rey and Ben fight each other with lightsabers, something looked off.

She slowly realized it was because they were not synced. They were not connecting with their lightsabers. ‘Which makes sense, since they are not using their own lightsabers.’ Using Luke’s and Leia’s sabers made their fight styles stagnant. Luke was yelling at them to try harder and do better. ‘How can they when they are not connected to the weapons?’ She shook her head and walked away with a roll of her eyes, and went back to work, a bit more focused.

Blix found herself returning to their training area again the next day. As she watched, she noticed that both Rey and Ben were getting frustrated and sloppy in their movements. As Luke berated them on their movements, yet again, Rey’s foot got tangled on a root, and as she tried to recover wound up burning Ben with her saber. He also wound up burning Rey as he tried to drop his saber to stop her fall.

Luke sighed loudly as he walked over and grabbed the fallen sabers, turning them off as he picked them up. Blix had enough at that point and moved forward.

She walked directly over to Ben and Rey and helped them both up. “C’mon you two. To the med bay, I’ll take care of ya,” She promised as she had Rey lean against her, when her foot gave out from under her when she stood up.

Luke began to protest, “Excuse me, what do you th-“

Blix cut him off with a glare and a snarl of, “Back off!”

She led them directly into the Med bay, and set them both down onto a bed, and called for Bre to come over and assist.

They began to work on their burns first, once those were taken care of Blix looked over Rey’s ankle. “It doesn’t appear to be broken, but it is swelling. You will not be doing any more training today,” Blix commented as she set it up onto some pillows and got an ice pack for it.

“I want you both to rest,” Blix demanded, pushing them both into lying down on their beds. “Take these for the pain, and they’ll help you sleep.” She handed them both a pain pill.

“But Luke, hes-“ Rey began to protest, pushing the hand that held the pill away.

“You let me handle that hermit. The only thing I want both of you to focus on is getting better,” Blix spoke softly, presenting the pill again.

Both Rey and Ben looked at each other, and then took the medicine presented and got comfortable on the beds they were on.

As her and Bre cleaned up, the two of them seemed to have their own silent conversation with one another, as they looked at the door and then at Blix.

Blix went back to filling out paperwork and checking the schedule for any upcoming mandatory base-wide check-ups/vaccinations.

She noted in a month’s time there needed to be physicals done for everyone, so she wrote that down onto her calendar, and sent reminders to her team about it, so they too would have it noted.

As she worked, she heard wheels and several beeps coming toward. She looked up to see R2D2 rolling in.

“Hello Artoo, what’s up buddy?” She asked him politely.

Several beeps and boops later he informed her that Luke was looking for his students and wanted to know when to expect them back.

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, her head turned to the ceiling.

“Artoo? Can you record a message for me to send back to him?” She asked as a devious thought entered her mind.

He beeped in agreement and after a moment of repositioning himself, a light came on indicating he was recording her.

“Luke. Your students will not be available for the rest of the day. In fact, they won’t even be available tomorrow. They are going to spend this time resting. You know, sleep? Eat? Heal? Interact with other human beings? I know that that last one may be strange concept for a hermit like yourself, but I digress,” She informed with a displeased look.

“Maybe you should take that time and do some self-evaluation. Maybe shave off that dead animal on your face? Maybe realize teaching isn’t really your forte?” She suggested before adding, “Oh and these are doctor’s orders, so, you can complain to your sister all you want, but my word overrides hers. Have a nice day.”

Artoo beeped and ended the recording and asked if she was sure if he wanted to send that to him. She nodded her and said, “Yes, I’m sure. Enjoy your day Artoo, don’t harass Threepio too much yeah?”

He sassily beeped that he would make no promises and rolled out.

As soon as he left, she noticed a sound coming from her patients. She looked over and saw Rey’s shoulders shaking with laughter; she tried to hide her face with her hands. Ben was smiling but was trying to cover it with a cough or by clearing his throat.

“Rest you two. I want you both to spend this time, being normal young 20-somethings. Got it?” She requested, with a smile, on her face.

‘It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Rey smile that much. Ben also looks like he’s not used to smiling either. Those two are far too young, to be that broken by the world.’ She thought sadly, before she returned her focus to her paperwork.

The day passes on smoothly, Rey and Ben were released to their rooms once their burns had healed, the former was requested to keep off her foot as much as possible until the following morning.

Around lunch time the next day, she spotted Rey near the base, sitting cross-legged, her eyes closed. As she stepped forward, she could hear her quietly speaking, “I am one with the Jedi, the Jedi are me.”

She watched for several minutes before Rey, reopened and she looked around her expectantly, but was immediately discouraged. She looked down at her lap and Blix could hear her thoughts clearly, ‘Why isnt this working? What am I not doing? Am I not enough?’

Blix glanced down and away as empathetic pain bloomed in her chest. She knew what it was like to try and connect with the great beyond and not hear a damn thing. To feel great existential loneliness.

Blix walked away and back to the med bay, even though she desperately wanted to go straight over to Rey and assure her she was enough.

That night, she couldn’t settle. No matter what she did, she couldn’t sit still, or lay down without tossing and turning. She had a sudden urge to go to her secret place, so, she threw her shoes back on and slowly made her way outside.

She was in her field minutes later, but she still felt unsettled. She looked around confused as she tried to figure out what was going on. Why did she feel so antsy?

She heard the sound of a twig snapping behind, and as she whipped her in that direction, she quietly called out, “Grandfather? Is that you?”

“Not quite your grandfather, no.” Came a sage voice, and as his Force Ghost stepped forward through the trees she gasped.

“Master Qui Gon? What are you-? Why-? I mean. Hi!” She stuttered over her words and could hardly form a proper sentence.

He chuckled at her nervousness and said, “Hello my dear. It is nice to officially meet you. Shall we sit?” He gestured to the flat ground before them.

She nodded, and sat, starring at him in awe, as he joined her a moment later.

“The past week has been rather interesting for you, I hear,” He began. “I know your grandfather came to you before, and while he sensed that you would have a need to use your powers soon, I cannot help but wonder. You used them last week but have since pretended that they do not exist again, even though your mind and body are reconnecting with galaxy. Why is that? What exactly are you afraid of?”

She looked at him for a moment, before she turned her gaze to a small wildflower that had suddenly become rather intriguing. She bit her lip, as tried to formulate her thoughts into actual sentences.

“I-. Hmm,” She started before taking a breath. “My mother.. refused to acknowledge these powers of mine. She… She saw them as a curse. A beacon in the night for any Sith lord to find me.”

“But you still went through the training, on your own, using your grandfather’s scrolls and journals, did you not?” He questioned.

“Yes. I did. But between his experiences and what wound up happening with Luke and his padawans, how the hell am I supposed to be okay with being a Jedi when our lifespan tends to be rather short?” I asked him back. “I want to live. I want to fall in love and have a family. I don’t want to be responsible for the universe and die with nothing to show for it.”

“But do you also wish to see young Rey and Ben continue to struggle as they are?” He inquired. “Rey is losing hope with each passing day. Ben struggles with finding balance between his dark and light sides. You know better than anyone what it is like to struggle with anger and hopelessness.”

She scoffed, “What exactly are you suggesting? That I train them?”

“Is that so ridiculous? Luke does not have patience for the both of them. There is far too much distrust between him and Ben; he does not understand Rey’s struggles. You, however…” He trailed off.

Blix stared at him in shock, her mouth agape. “I’m. I’m not a Jedi Master though!” She exclaimed

“What makes you say that? You have built your own lightsaber. You can recite the codes and rules of the Jedi by memory. Your skills with the Force are powerful, when you are not being overwhelmed with panic,” He listed out. “You completed your training years ago. You are strong enough. The only thing stopping you from reaching your greatest potential is yourself.”

“What if-“ She began to question.

“The ‘what ifs’ do not matter. You are a Jedi, and under your tutelage Rey will flourish as a Jedi herself. Ben while skilled already, needs guidance. Needs someone who will show him how to balance between the dark and the light. I have great faith in you,” He concluded as he stood up.

“If I may say, you would have made a great Consular,” He added as he began to walk away. “Sleep on what we’ve talked on. In the morning, you’ll know.” His ghost disappeared.

“Do none of you know how to say goodbye in a normal way? Must you make vague comments before fading into the void?” She asked out loud staring at the spot where he disappeared.

She stood up and walked back into her room mumbling to herself about rude ghostly figures. She crawled into bed and passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

When morning came, she sat up on her bed, swung her legs to side, and stared at the pile of journals that sat there. Only a handful were medical journals, most of them, a good 40 or so, were her grandfather’s journals. She looked over all of them, her hand rubbing at her neck, as she thought things over.

She looked over to her closet, then back to the journals and said to herself loudly, “Fuck it. Why not?”

She wandered into her closet, toward the back, and pulled out an ornate box that she kept locked. She set it on her bed, reached into a drawer on her desk to pull out the key, and unlocked it. There were only two items within the box, but they were two of the most valued objects she owned. She gently pulled them out and set them into her lucky bag, an old canvas messenger bag that she was given when she was a child.

Once they were secured within it, she got dressed. She threw on a grey dress that flowed easily, with black tights underneath, and a pair of boots. She grabbed her bag and as she reached for the door, she paused for a moment. ‘Am I really about to do this?’

She nodded her head once in affirmation and then stepped outside. ‘If I was Rey where would I be at this time? Mess hall.’

She headed in that direction, her head on a swivel as she tried to catch sight of Rey. She neared an entrance of the Mess Hall, when she heard someone call her name.

She turned around and saw Poe walking up with Finn.

“Hey, Poe! Have you seen Rey? Or Ben for that matter?” She greeted as they stopped in front of her.

“Uh. No. Not yet at least? That’s a new outfit?” Poe answered before getting distracted by her dress.

“Damn. Where are they?” She muttered, searching the mess hall, not taking notice of his question.

“So, about that date you keep refusing…” He slyly mentioned as he tried to regain her attention.

“AH! There she is!” Blix exclaimed, as she spotted Rey entering across the way, BB8 strolling with her, and Ben trailing behind.

She turned back to look at Poe and what he said registered in her brain finally, as she responded, “Uh. Yeah. Sure. How about dinner at my place tonight? I’ll cook. Say, 6pm?”

He blinked in surprise and confirmed slowly, “You’re saying.. yes? To dinner? With me?”

She blinked a bit too as she realized what she said, she took a moment to confirm that that is what she said, and that she meant it.

She, with a bright smile, affirmed, “Yes. I am.”

As a smile broke out on his face, she pointed back toward Rey and said, “Listen I gotta go do something but I’ll see you tonight!” She leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips before rushing off.

Poe froze. Finn looked at him and waved his hand in front of his face trying to get him to respond.

“Poe? Poe you in there? Hey buddy? We gotta get grub before the meeting remember?” Finn entreated, as he shook Poe lightly.

“You saw that right? She kissed me? Like. Openly and in public for all to see?” Poe implored as looked down at Finn.

Finn nodded his head in response. Before he could say anything else, Poe moved forward to get food, talking to himself as he did so, Finn heard a lot of “she said yes” and “I’m going to marry her” before he tuned out and just grabbed food and Caf with him.

While Poe.exec was crashing, Blix had made her way quickly over to Rey and called out her name.

Rey stopped and looked at her slightly confused.

As Blix caught up to her, she looked at her and then Ben and said, “Come with me. Both of you.”

She held out her hands for them to take and looked at them encouragingly.

Rey gasped as she realized what was possibly about to happen. She grabbed her hand and looked at Ben with an eyebrow raised.

Ben looked at them both like they were nuts but rolled his eyes and took her other hand with a sigh.

She smiled at them both and led them out of the mess hall. BB8 asked if he could come with and she told him so long as he kept up.

She led them to her field and had both of them sit down. BB8 rolled in between them, and unbeknownst to any of them, sent a message to R2D2 to create a connection and show everyone what’s going on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R2D2 was in the command center with everyone was planning the next attack on the First Order, when he began to receive the transmission from BB8. R2 moved forward and connected to the center computer and projected what was being seen via BB8.

“What is this R2?” General Leia asked.

R2 responded that it was coming BB8 currently. He’s with Dr. Blix, Rey, & Ben.

Luke rolled his eyes, still bitter about her little message she sent him the other day and gave Leia a look.

“I know. Let’s just see what’s happening, okay?” She calmly said, knowing he was not a fan of the doctor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blix looked at them and admitted, “Listen, I’m not very good at this. It’s been a hot second since I had to give elaborate speeches. But. I am honestly tired of all the bullshit, if we are going to be honest.”

She looked at Rey, and softly consoled, “Rey. It is admirable that you want to connect with the Jedi of the past. But they are not going to appear before you just because. They will come to you during times of your greatest need. Or as I call it: when my grandfather thinks I need to calm the hell down.”

Rey chuckled a bit and nodded her head in understanding.

Blix then turned to Ben, and assured, “Ben. I know. I understand what it is like to feel anger down to your bones. I know what it’s like to hate and want revenge. Believe I do. But that is not me anymore. Nor is that you. Just because you feel anger, does not mean you are losing control of yourself. Feeling anger is normal. Accept that and accept that you are stuck with us, and the chances of you returning to the Dark side is very slim.”

He raised an eyebrow at me and slowly replied, “O-kay.”

“Okay. Now that we’ve gotten the pep talk out of the way. I am going to tell you some things I have not told anyone in a really long time,” She began as she finally sat down with them. “Poe probably mentioned some things last week to you I assume?”

Rey nodded and confirmed, “Yes. I told Ben later on, before a training session and swore him to secrecy.”

“Alright. Well. Let’s get to it then,” She responded taking a deep breath. “I am a Jedi. I did not have a formal master, I just had my grandfather’s journals and scrolls, which…. Was great many of them. He lived alone for quite some time, so he wrote.. a lot. I am telling you this now, because I am tired of seeing you two struggle. I am tired of healing wounds that you refuse to tell anyone about but me.” She looked at both of them pointedly.

“I finished my training some time ago. So. I am going to steal you both from Luke, because he does not understand that his training is not working for you guys. Hell, Leia never even finished her training so, I’m not quite sure why she gets involved” She informed them.

Rey sat up straighter at this, and said with growing excitement, “Wait. Wait. You’re gonna train us? For real?”

At the same time Ben questioned, “Who was your grandfather?”

“Yes. Really real,” She answered. “And we’ll get to that soon enough.”

Rey was practically bouncing in her seat and Ben looked far more intrigued than he did before.

“Ok. So. Pull out your lightsabers for me please,” She requested and as they did so she had them set them down on the ground.

“Now, did Luke ever explain lightsaber colors to you? Like what they mean, beyond ‘red mean bad?’” She asked curiously.

Rey shook her head no, and Ben said, “If he did it was a long time ago.”

“Okay then. To the basics we go,” She acknowledged with a nod. “To begin with, way back when, the Jedi Counsel had a system in place when it came to one’s lightsaber. The colors had meaning and classified you in a way.”

“There were the Guardians, their skillset were in fighting. They trained themselves in various martial arts. They were the defenders,” She then reached into her bag and pulled out one of the items she brought. “Their lightsabers, like my grandfather’s that you see here, were blue. Just like Luke’s and Leia’s.”  She gently set it in front of her and looked at it fondly, with a smile.

She cleared her throat, before she continued, “Then there are the Consulars, who were more skilled in using the Force, and diplomacy. They used their lightsabers as a last resort. They tried to seek peace and harmony. Essentially, they were better at talking. My grandfather’s Master, Qui Gon Jin, in fact told me that I would make a decent Consular. Their sabers were green.”

“Lastly, there were the Sentinels, whose skills were less Force related and more specified. They had skills in both fighting and the Force, but they excelled in other subjects. They were engineers, mechanics, techs, pilots. Their sabers were yellow,” She concluded glancing at Rey who seemed in awe and smiled at her.

“As the years passed on the classes remained important, but the colors less so. Like. Mace Windu had a purple saber for example,” She further explained. “These sabers are meant to be a part of you. You connect with them on spiritual level, quite literally. That’s why both of you struggling with these,” she gestured to the sabers before them. “They weren’t made by you. You didn’t choose them or they you. So, one of these days, I’m going to take you two on an adventure and find your crystals/gems/stones- whichever they may be.”

Rey gave her a look of confusion at that last piece and said, “Stones and gems can power a lightsaber?”

“Mmhmm. Yes, they can. Stones tend to give off more earthy tones, and gems are very similar to crystals to be honest,” She clarified. “In fact, often times kyber crystals are synthetic. Sith sabers are made from synthetics for example. Or, if you live on a sand planet where no crystals can be formed,” She gave a pointed look towards Luke’s saber. “It all really depends on what’s available to you.”

“Any questions so far?” Blix stopped to take a moment.

“Wait. You said… Your grandfather was trained… under Qui Gon?” Ben asked staring at her strangely before his eyes widen in surprise. “Your grandfather was Obi Wan Kenobi?”

A small smirk slowly slipped on to her face that she tried to smother but failed.

“You’re a Kenobi?” Rey asked in shock. “How? Wha- Why-“

“It is a very long story, that I will eventually tell you but not today. But yes, I am a Kenobi. Glad to know you remember some of your history,” Blix complimented Ben.

“In fact, I think that’s all we are going to talk about today, I will arrange with the general a time where we can slip away for a few days to find your power sources and meditate. I will, however, show you one more thing,” she concluded.

She reached into her bag again and pulled out another saber, one that the base was black, and had runes and a strange language carved into the hilt. She stood up then and stepped back before pressing the button to light it.

“My saber color as you can see, is white with a black core, which makes it look grey in some angles. That’s my philosophy. There is not just the dark and light. There’s bits of grey in the universe that should be acknowledge,” she enlightened looking at her saber with pride before she turned it back off.

“So. I know, I’ve explained a lot. And I technically didn’t really ask either of you if wanted to be trained by me, but I shall ask now,” She admitted sheepishly, as she retrieved her grandfather’s saber from the ground. “Now that you know who I am, and what I know, do you wish to be trained by me, or do you want to finish training with Luke?”

They picked up their sabers, and stood up, dusting themselves off really quick. Rey pulled Ben a few feet away, and they began to whisper to one another.

She made a face and looked down at BB8 who had been strangely quiet during all of this. She then noticed the flickering light that indicating he was sending a live feed somewhere.

“Beebee… whatcha doin there bud?” She asked, her eyes squinted in suspicion.

Beebee beeped saying nothing.

Before she could call him out on lying, Rey and Ben came back over. “We decided that yes, we want to train under you, after we’ve explained things to Luke and Leia. We owe them that at least.” Rey declared.

Ben nodded his head in agreement, but also mumbled, “Though I personally don’t care about explaining anything to them, to be honest.”

Blix snorted and before she stated, “Alright then. Let’s go get food then yeah? I kinda stole ya during breakfast.”

As they made their way back onto base, the commander center was buzzing with the information that had been revealed.

“Admiral Holdo? You knew about this didn’t you?” Leia asked her with disbelief.

“It was not my secret to tell,” Amilyn replied simply. “It was not my intention to deceive you, but if anyone knew she was Kenobi, would spell trouble for her.”

Luke starred off into the distance, he knew the moment he saw that light saber just who it belonged to. He desired more answers but knew that he probably wouldn’t get any- not with her extreme dislike of him and his family. As he looked over at his sister, he could tell that she too, needed answers. Only time would tell if they would get them.

[flower-of-the-desert]

hey, i really liked your posts about ep12, it helped me a lot to put things into perspective. i was wondering if you could share your thoughts on the 2gether finale as well, coz right now i just wanna cry im so disappointed with it =(

Aww, thank you, anon. <3

Ok so my thoughts on the finale are kind of all over the place but I’ll try to explain as best as I can and hopefully it’s gonna make sense.

Like I said, in my original post I dont love the ep but I dont hate it either. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle. I enjoyed a lot of it - seeing all the couples progress and be happy together, Man/Type especially were just so adorable, Mil and Phukong starting to build something with each other (lil bro using Sarawat’s pick up line was a really nice touch, love that), Mil being an all around awesome supportive friend to BOTH Tine and Wat?? We love to see it. The way he turned up at the football field where Wat was being his angsty self and literally kicked his butt into taking action - *chef’s kiss*

Him and Fong are now the parents of the baby gays I dont make the rules.

Wat’s confession on stage and his song that he literally named after Tine and when he said he never confessed to Pam because he didnt know what love was before he met Tine - perfection. Absolute perfection. I’m here for it.

And Tine’s heartbreak was so well done too, I just felt so much for him.

Again, as I said, the whole thing with Pam didnt turned out exactly as I had hoped but it wasnt the worst case scenario either so I’ll take it. I’d rather have Pam making a mistake and realising it and backing off while assuring Tine that Wat really does love HIM and even though she tried Pam didnt stand a chance because it’s always gonna be Tine for Sarawat and she understands that now over her being an actual bitch who keeps trying to seperate them and uses the situation to her advantage. I mean they could have gone that way too - Pam didnt have to give Tine that recording or to tell him how Wat changed after meeting him but she did, I think, as her own way of apologizing for what she’d done. So yeah, overall, I’m fine with this.

ALSO NOBODY DIED SO THAT’S A BIG PLUS.

(History 3 MODC can’t relate)

ANYWAY, so those are the positives for me. Which as it turns out is most of the episode yay! Now onto what wasnt quite so positive.

My main issue with this episode is the resolution to Wat and Tine’s conflict. Mainly, there really... wasnt one. And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy thing, I’ll touch on that later but more importantly for the ending - the emotional intimacy. None of the problems they had were properly addressed. Tine’s insecurities were rooted so deeply that despite Wat spending 12 EPISODES doing anything and everything to show his love and adoration, Tine still couldnt really believe it. And that’s not gonna be resolved with a simple recording.

And on the other hand, can you image how all of this would make Sarawat feel? Like no matter what he does, no matter how much of himself he gives to Tine, his boyfriend still would find it easier to believe that Wat is just using him as a replacement for someone else. That’s gonna fuck with his head even if Tine came back. I really really wished they had talked at least a little about these things.

Like maybe if we didnt have half of the episode filled with pointless flashbacks there could have been time to actually talk... (tbh, part of me kind of wonders if they purposefully put in so many flashbacks to fill in the air time so they wouldnt HAVE to write those scenes which leaves me ?????).

I think I mentioned this too in the other post, but the Wat/Tine reunion echoes beat for beat the Fighter/Tutor reunion with all its issues but while WhyRU has a reason for why things turned out like that, here I just... I dont know what could have been the reason for 2gether’s writers? Unless they also couldnt film everything they wanted...

And then there’s the... “high-five controversy”, let’s call it and again I find myself in the middle of the argument. I stand by what I’ve said before about how I feel about the way they handled physical intimacy between the characters - yes, objectively and critically speaking, I’m not here for writers/directors/channel/whoever trying to censor the physical intimacy of an established couple. There is nothing wrong with two partners wanting to kiss/cuddle/have sex/etc. Sex isnt something dirty (I mean it can be depending on what you’re writing BUT THAT’S A DIFFERENT GENRE OK, we are not talking about smutty fic here cough cough) and shameful that “pure” people shouldnt be enjoying (lovely post on the topic here I was just thinking about it last night). And it’s about time show creators got with the programme, ESPECIALLY when it comes to non-straight couples.

As of ep13 it’s clear to me that 2gether went through some serious censorship - lots of people have talked about how it’s a thing that they do on this particular channel and maybe that’s all it is, I dont know. I dont want to speculate what’s been going on behind the scenes since I dont have any idea and sadly I dont think the writers will ever be willing to talk about it. I’d LOVE to hear their throughts on this matter tbh and why they decided to do things this way.

So on an objective level, this is bullshit. Subjectively, and this is where my personal opinion comes in, I wasnt as bothered by this as I normally would be because I’ve been enjoying all the other aspects of the relationship that the show successfully built up and prtrayed on screen. Does that make sense?

Specifically about the finale, though, I agree with the complains. Part of why the reunion felt so underwhelming and disappointing, I think, was not only the lack of emotional intimacy but also the hella.... awkward? physical “intimacy” they showed? The scene absolutely did call for a kiss or a hug, at the very least. Instead they were standing 2 feet apart cause... they’re not gay? I really really do not understand what happened there in that scene. I’ve seen some people mention that the finale was filmed before the other episodes so the actors werent used to each other yet and honestly I can see it - watching Tine and Wat in that ending montage felt like I was watching them at the beginning of their fake dating when both were awkward and unsure of where they stood with each other rather than seeing an established in love couple coming back together after going through something tough.

So these are my thoughts on the finale. It wasnt the best one I’ve ever seen but not bad enough to ruin the rest of the show for me (and there’s NOTHING I hate more than bad endings ruining a story I’ve fallen in love with so there’s that) and I do really love this show and its characters so much. It’s hard, even impossivle to find a perfect show from start to finish and honestly I’ve come to believe that’s not as important as what you get out of it - if the show makes you happy, despite whatever writing issues it might have, that’s the most important thing, I think. And 2gether did that for me. So I’m glad I watched it.

Omg, this got so long. Again. If you’re still with me, anon, you’re a hero. I hope I was able to help you. <3

[hyperesthesias]

even after so many years i still really love the mentalist. i used to watch it every night it came on and i still think about it. i loved that it shared the plot line of a guy seeking revenge for the murder of his family with a book i was writing at the time. i’ve seen it more than once now but every time i see it or think about it i just can’t get over its fatal flaws. 

i havent rewatched it in several years but i recently started to bounce around a bit and i just cant let it go. so i’m just gonna say it --

j*isbon should have never been a thing tbh. they’re terrible for each other and their romantic chemistry is forced and unhealthy. honestly when i saw jane in the first or second episode -- second episode i think -- reserve the room for the hotel and tell lisbon not to worry about him seducing her, that it was the first thought that would pop into her mind, i thought she was going to tell him she was gay. ngl. i’m being flat out. it works so much better tbh and it would have made their relationship much more intimate and interesting -- it would have been something he couldn’t predict, and he would have felt important for her to tell him after the time they’d known each other. plus it would have added nice diversity and also added a lgbtq character whose primary focus isnt their sexuality but their duty and passion for their job. in short, it would have humanized her. i mean, c’mon it was california 2008, it would have been a prime opportunity to write that. i know. i live here. 

they should never have been together romantically. he lies to her and misleads her constantly, and she is perpetually tired of it. her irritation with him is palpable and forcing her with him seemed uncharacteristic. especially since he manipulates her on a regular basis. it would have made so much more sense if they kept their relationship as sibling vibes. so much more realistic to the pranking and the ‘sick of this shit’ back and forth thing they had. i have no doubts they loved each other and cared about one another, but romantic love and romantic intimacy was so unnecessary and weird between them. 

i also know they wanted jane to progress as a character and move on from angela and charlotte but it would have been so much more fulfilling if he had taken a kid under his wing. a pseudo-daughter for him to nurture and raise because he was robbed of being a father. (i’m also confused why they didn’t hire simon baker’s daughter to play charlotte in his hallucinations because honestly she’s also an actress, she would’ve been the right age, and she looks like her father but ----- that’s not really relevant to the point). it would’ve been creative!! it would’ve been different and something we haven’t seen ten billion times already!! him and his adopted kid go and live their life peacefully after red john bites it. can you imagine how much cooler than would’ve been??

ALSO -- the red john wrap up was horrible. it was so awful. the sheriff? really?? BELIEVE ME -- i have a book where the bad guy sheriff is involved in a multi-government agency criminal ring. i get it. i know how to write it. but that was not it dude. did not pass the vibe check. it would have made so much more sense -- it would’ve been so much more personal if they’d made it someone jane had worked with at the cbi for years. maybe not a main character, but someone in the background every so often. someone he might’ve even thought he’d bonded with or had gotten to know on the surface. someone who came out of left field for him because he was his equal match. i mean, jane is supposed to be sherlock -- he needed a moriarty not a red herring chase and a throwaway. honestly, who pulled that out of a hat? in like...two episodes? what??

alright, alright -- i’ll stop. but the last thing that bothered me was the one latina character they had they almost immediately killed. and it pissed me off because i loved her and she was a cinnamon roll and there was no need for her to die. 

alright. i’m done. 

for now.

[yoramkelmer]

The rise and fall of the Twilight-Craze

Let me tell you about my first encounter with Twilight - it was a “read”-week in 6th or 7th grade, and I picked up a very new book at the library of my elementary school. So I started reading it. I remember reading the first chapters, but never finishing it. I remember how I found the protagonist to be very whiny, and very disrespectful too. 

Also, at this point I also didnt know that this would be a vampire-novel, as the backcover of the book - this being the first danish translation/edition of the novel - never mentioned it. 

Anyway, afterwards, I forgot about it pretty quickly. 

Flashforward to a year later. 

I´m over in Germany, visiting my grandmother, and I buy some books - the german translation of Twilight being among them - and then I start reading it later in the fall. While I did think that the name Stephenie Meyer sounded familiar, I could not remember why. At this point I should also mention that 6th and 7th grade was a very traumatising period for me, and I had by that point pretty much blacked much of that period out of my mind, focusing on the now and future. And yeah, I was 14, so there was still much to come. 

Anywway, as I start reading the novel later in the fall, I suddenly remembered that one book I never finished back in 6th or 7th grade - and am kinda amused. Yeah, anyway, I still found Bella Swan to be a very whiny girl, and I actually liked the novel, and honestly did not think that much about it afterwards. Though I did learn not long after that a movie would come out later that year, I - while I was looking forward to it - did not imagine that it would start a big craze, that I later learned from the Wikipedia article of the South Park episode The Ungroundable to be named “The Twilight Craze”. 

I enjoyed the movie, actually - I watched it with my best friend (who went on to become the biggest Twilight fan I know, at least for as long as the craze lasted) and it is a memory that I like to think back on. I still think that both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson did a good job in these movies - though more on that later. 

So, flash forward to the fall of 2009, where I am in Thailand with my parents. On the way to Thailand - as we went through Germany -  I bought the subsequent books New Moon and Eclipse. I read these books very quickly, and my mom as well. 

New Moon - and I´m talking about the novel here - did introduce some rather interesting ideas, such as the Volturi. One thing, however, already stuck me back then - it was the fact that Meyer completely distorted the actual folklore of an actual native american tribe, the Quileutes, for her own way, and it seemed really disrespectful back then already. And as for the Volturi, despite being mentioned early on, we didn´t really get that much from them - though as for the climax of the novel, I was pretty disturbed by the fact that the Volturi let in hundreds of tourists into their palace just to eat them after closing the doors. While that scenario is already pretty much horrifying, what really disturbed me was that Bella - and by extension, Stephenie Meyer herself - immediately forgot about it after it happened and moved on with the plot. That, and another thing - are we really gonna accept it as okay that one from Jacobs tribe physically hurt and mutilated his wifes face after wolfing out, because he feels sorry and he forgave her? It already seemed really wrong back then. 

What I also noticed was the fact that Bella Swan essentially only hung out with Jacob so she could play with his feelings, and so she could get into dangerous situations so she could get these hallucinations of Edward. With that said - I also could not really see what was so special about the relationship between Bella and Edward. 

Then I read Eclipse - and one thing stuck out to me there: it´s the fact that the mentioned backstories of the individual Cullens - Carlisles past with the Volturi, Rosalie seeking out and killing her rapists, Jaspers backstory from the american civil war (as I later learned from Das Mervins sporkings, she got a lot of stuff wrong there, to put it mildly), or how Alice was abandoned by her family in an asylum and pretended she was dead, where she ultimately got turned - all of these backstories are a hundred times way more interesting than the perks of being Bella Swan and her love life! 

Also, I immediately knew that the vampire army was a work of Victoria, and that it was to kill Bella - only upon reading the sporkings by Das Mervin did I learn that it was supposed to be a “twist”. 

On the way back from Thailand I bought Breaking Dawn shortly before leaving Germany, but I never finished it - you know why? Because some of my classmembers spilled the tea on the spoiler that Jacob imprints on Bellas daughter. I was just grossed out. I later learned that the book is what turned many fans off Twilight - and the imprinting thing was one of the reasons why, in many cases. 

Anyway, then a few weeks after returning from Thailand, I went in to see New Moon with two of my best friends, and it is a memory that I cherish very much. 

And that was the time when the Twilight Craze really, really went off - with all the cringeworthy “Are you Team Edward, or Team Jacob?” stuff, and how out of touch with reality some of the fangirls seemed - there were apparently some who really believed that Edward Cullen exists, and so much more. I still didnt think too much about it, as I had other things to look for. 

Though - despite liking the movies and the books at the time - I really, really enjoyed a lot of the parodies on the Twilight Craze, like this one from Smosh. The thing is, that Twilight became the probably most parodied thing in the 2009-2010 period. And that may have been one of the things that killed the craze - but more on that later. 

Then, in the summer of 2010 - one of the best summers of my life - I was in Miami with my family. And then my best friend and I got to watch Eclipse in a gigantic cinema in a very big mall in Miami Beach - that was unforgettable. And I also remember that I wasnt the only one who laughed over Taylor Lautners overacting. Good to know. 

During that same summer, I remember then seeing a new book by Stephenie Meyer in the bookstores - “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner”. As this was before my friend and I saw the movie, I myself did not think that much about it; but I then later realised that Bree was the girl killed by the Volturi at the end of Eclipse, and that the novel - as the title already states - was about her time with the army of newborns. That sounded like an actual interesting plot. Shortly before watching Eclipse, the trailer for “Vampires Suck” came out - and the trailer was very funny, way more funny than the actual movie. 

So....Eclipse was a huge hit that summer. But you know what that also was? The end of the Twilight Craze itself. In fact, it can also be compared with another contemporary hit of the 2009-2010 period - Avatar. While that was the biggest hit of the winter of 2009-2010, as soon as spring started, everyone forgot about it. And while Eclipse itself got a lot of mixed reviews, like the preceding movies of the franchise, it simply was the end of the craze itself. 

I think here are some of the factors:

Twilight was pretty much EVERYWHERE in the media in 2009-2010, not only from advertisement, product placements, and posters, but also from parodies, not to mention how often Twilight was mentioned in actual news broadcast. In other words, people got tired of it - not just the people who werent even fans of the franchise in the first place, but also more moderate fans, like I considered myself then. And yeah - now thinking back on it, I was also pretty tired of seeing Twilight everywhere even before Eclipse was released in the cinemas. 

And another thing is this: The Second Life of Bree Tanner. While the novel was released in early June of 2010, mere weeks before the movie came out, it was very bestselling, because of the Twilight Craze. And the reason why it was released was most likely because even Stephenie Meyer herself had a feeling that the craze soon would end, and had to publish something Twilight-related in advance, so she could be talked about again. Officially, the novella started as a short story to tie in with her illustrated guide for Twilight. 

I bought the book later that summer while in Germany - and I found it not very well written, and forgot about it very shortly afterwards. Even my friend found it forgettable. I recently read the sporking of the book on Das Mervin to be reminded of what actually happened - and boy, does it suck! And here is my point - many Twilight fans probably realised with that book that Stephenie Meyer isnt that good a writer. (A lot of people had the same reactions to “The Host” - including me, who never finished the novel because of that)

And then, as soon as the summer of 2010 was over, Twilight was over. People had enough. 

I know that the final film was - because of Harry Potter - split in two parts (a decision that was continued when The Hunger Games were made into movies, and a decision that ultimately killed the Divergent franchise), and was released in the winter of 2011 and 2012. I watched both of them - and I was immediately struck by this in 2012: While there of course were trailers and posters for these films, there was simply not the same exposure to the franchise as back in 2009-2010. 

And by the time of the release of Breaking Dawn part 2 in the winter of 2012, I had already been redpilled regarding Mary Sues, and had a field day of counting all the Mary Sue points in the movies. 

Yeah, Bella Swan is one of the biggest Mary Sues in existence, and was created as a way of Stephenie Meyer wanting to live out an idealised version of her highschool years. 

That, and Stephenie Meyer isnt that great a writer - just read the sporking on Das Mervin. 

During the reading of the sporkings, I also realised the way how Meyer demonises every blonde - from Lauren to Rosalie, and how Leah Clearwater is demonised for being an independent woman who doesnt bow down to Bella Sue and who actually does something, unlike Bella Sue. 

Now, onto the thing with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Both are very good actors, and I think it is sad to see how haunted they were in the past decade of Twilight. Many have accused Stewart of being a bad actress because of Twilight (not to mention that they haven´t seen her brilliant performance in Speak) - I disagree. Kristen Stewart showed what a spoiled, ungrateful and dull Sue Bella is, and Pattinson what a creepy, controllable Stalker Edward is. And I´m now especially happy to see how especially Pattinson is recovering now, as Kristen Stewart did get to prove herself in movies like Camp X-Ray. 

Anyway, that was my rant on the Twilight Craze. 

[crewhonk]

... Of The Line (2)

A series collaboration with @nomadsgrogers where she writes for Giovanna as the reader! We’re just projecting onto our writing, its FINE

Series Summary: Steve watches YN Banner grow up before his eyes– from a shy, dorky sixteen-year-old to a fierce, brilliant woman who never fails to keep him on his toes. He knows that she’s untouchable, but that doesn’t stop him from being completely wrapped around her finger for the rest of his long life.

Series Warnings: Mutual Pining, age gap, gun use, these two are idiots– seriously they’re so dumb, slow burn, injuries

Pairings: eventual Steve Rogers X Banner!Reader, eventual Buky Barnes X OC!Stark

Chapter Summary: YN goes on her first mission with the gang. YN takes care of her guy who also isnt her guy. YN and Steve are both idiots who attend a party. 

Words: 4.0K

Warnings: battle, steve is an ass man, peitro is a flirt, YN and Steve are stupid, 

@nomadsgrogers version >> (” Till the End…”) Introduction / Part 1 / Part 2

“… Of The Line” >> MASTERLIST

_______________________

July, 2015

It was only a few months once Natasha, Giovanna and Steve returned that the whole team was called out for a mission. There were months of debriefs and reports and strategic meetings— all headed by Steve Rogers who seemed to have some sort of personal vendetta against the guy running the arms dealing operation. Baron Von Wolfgang Strucker (“who would name their poor child that of all things?” “YN, focus.” “Yes, Captain”) had evaded Steve for three long years and finally, he was here only a few kilometres away from their current position in South Eastern Europe. 

“Alright, team— focus up. We have one shot at this and one shot only. We can’t mess this one up because Strucker had only gotten more and more powerful over the years, and we have no idea what he would be capable of with the sceptre if he got away again. We are quick, we are precise, we leave as little damage as possible and get out with the sceptre.” Steve’s voice echoed across the small clearing where they had set up camp and YN couldn’t help but roll her eyes just a little bit at the Captain voice he was using. He was commanding them as if he wasn’t crying (bawling his god damn eyes out) to the second ‘How To Train Your Dragon’ in YN’s room only twelve hours before. 

Nothing had progressed in their relationship since the day at the hospital, much to the frustration of everyone in the Tower. Sure, they were allowing themselves to touch each other and sit just a little closer together during nights in the common room, but as soon as they got too close or the room felt too small, either Steve would pull away or Giovanna would burst through the door or an explosion would happen a few floors below, calling for YN’s attention. 

Nobody was more frustrated about this than Steve. He had tried his damned best to see other people in Washington. He had gone on dates with Lucy, and Marley, and other names that ended in a ‘y’ but he could never see anything other than YN. He could never see anything other than her brilliant green eyes and even more brilliant laugh and it killed him to know that YN was the one person he would never be able to have. 

Sam had smacked him upside the head the second Steve muttered about how she was too good for him— too young. 

“Man, you really are dumb, huh?” 

Steve had the dignity to look offended. 

“Excuse me?”

“Dude, she looks at you like you have the ability to tell her all the secrets int he whole damn world. She looks at you like Indiana Jones looked at the Talice in that tomb.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You’re not listening to me! She likes you— like, likes you likes you and if you don’t realize that you like her just as much if not more, than she’s gonna be gone!”

It didn’t stop her though, from being in his life. She looked out for him in more ways than one and it showed. His steps were lighter, his shoulders more relaxed up until about a week ago when the American Embassy accepted his request to go on a raid overseas. 

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you frown like that for too long,” YN said, appearing suddenly beside him. He had avoided looking at her all day— the shapely, stretchy fabric of her uniform showed off the muscles she was working on. Her thighs had become thicker, shoulders more defined and her back muscles rippled every time she moved, and Steve wasn’t terribly opposed to watching her move forever. He, now 28, couldn’t look at someone who would be turning 21 in a weeks time like he wanted to eat her alive, but he would be damned if he denied that the curve of her ass didn’t make his mouth water.

“I’m going to get wrinkles anyway.” He said, wrapping his hands before pulling on his fingerless leather gloves. YN refrained from calling them entirely impractical. 

“You’re no fun to tease when the Captain’s out to play, you know.” YN smiled, bouncing on her toes with excitement. This was her first real mission and she was eager to please not only her dad and uncle but she really, truly just wanted to make Steve proud. 

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He muttered and YN almost blanched at the pet name. “I’m just— I want this to be the last day I have to deal with this asshole.”

“Language.” She teased and he rolled his eyes. If anyone swore more than YN and Giovanna, it was, in fact, Steve Rogers. “And we’ll get him. We have Thor. We have Big Guy. Everything is planned. We’ll get him, I promise.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

__________________

“Giovanna Stark! If you don’t stop swinging me around I’ll throw up in your Louboutin heels!” YN screamed over the din of gunfire into the comms. Originally, she was going to get to the HYDRA base on the back of Steve’s motorbike, but, in light of Tony’s new birthday present to his favourite daughter the plan had ended up changing. 

“Sorry! You know I only practice with this thing when dad’s gone!” Her best friend cried out and YN swore loudly when he shins smacked a tree branch. 

Tony Stark had thought it the brilliant idea to let his wild, tornado of a daughter use her own suit. A gold and pearl suit she had made and manufactured and fit to herself, stored away until her dad gave her the green light to use. 

“YOU WHAT?” Tony roared over the comms, pulling up beside the two women and managing to glare them both down through the glowing eyes of his own suit. 

“Yeah, we meant to tell you— when you go down to Washington, me and YN practice with the suit. I’d say we’re getting pretty good, honestly.” Giovanna’s voice gave away that she was smiling under the mask. She raised her free hand and blasted a canon in the way of the jeep Natasha was driving with the rest of the team in it. 

“We’re mediocre at best and please go up another two feet because this branch will take out my KNEES!” YN squealed, raising her knees to her chest and turning to watch as her father, green and angry, smashed his way through it. 

“As much as I love this family heart to heart,” Steve’s irritated tone sounded in their ears. “Can we please focus on the task at hand. Tony, see if there’s a barrier protecting the base.”

“Yes, Captain Rogers!” Tony mocked, speeding ahead and almost immediately ricocheting off of the force field surrounding the building. “Shit!”

“Language!” Steve swore back, and YN let out a loud guffaw.

“Stevie, you know that’s my line!” YN laughed as Giovanna dropped her in the forest. Her knees and thighs were bruised, and in some choice places even cut through the Kevlar. She was almost immediately hounded by three HYDRA agents and YN’s eyes flashed a daring green before she pulled the guns from her thigh holsters and shot them all in the shoulders and knees— not killing them, but taking them out quickly and efficiently. She pressed her back to one of the larger trees to regroup and hide from the bunker that was about thirty meters away. 

“YN you should have seen what Steve just did!” Giovanna exclaimed over the comms and YN rolled her eyes at the amused noises made from other team members. 

“Why should I have seen it, Gio?” YN grunted as a bullet whizzed by her ear. She was shortly joined by Clint who loaded a bow and arrow before taking a breath and winking over at her— teasing. 

“Because he just threw his bike and took out a whole jeep with it!”

Yeah, YN wished she was there for that one. 

Clint drew the arrow, aimed and shot and both he and YN hid behind their trees, silent and tents for the explosion that never came. Clint and YN looked at each other before he drew another bow and drew it again, shrugging to YN and stepping out to fire once more. 

However, before he was able to, there was a rushing noise and Clint was thrown to the ground with a breathless grunt. 

“Clint!” YN yelled, rushing over and sliding to the ground to help him and make sure he was fine. When they both made to stand, there was a man around YN’s own age staring down at them. He had white, silver hair and eyes that matched. There was a lazy grin on his face and his shoulders were relaxed. Both of Clint’s arrows tucked into his elbow. 

“Hello, beautiful lady,” His accented voice would have made her blush in any other situation. In a flash, his finger was crooked under her chin and she glared into his white eyes. His gaze flicked from her own eyes to her lips twice before he turned to Clint, his arrow pointed directly at the space between the mans eyebrows. 

“You guys didn’t see that coming?” And then he vanished into seemingly thin air. 

“What the fuck, Steve! We have an enhanced! Male— possibly teleportation?” YN rushed into her comm as she helped Clint to his feet. She dropped his arm in fright when the enhanced appeared over her shoulder, breath tickling her neck and he spoke. 

“Speed actually.” He corrected before running off again. 

“Okay, fine. He’s fast. Really fast you won’t see him coming.” YN bent over quickly to scoop up some snow and press to her burning cheeks much to the amusement of Clint, who had just begun to stand. 

“Understood,” Steve replied. “You okay?” 

“Good. Just a little blindsided is all.” YN huffed when Clint snorted. “You okay?”

“I’m good.” He said back, voice warm and soft. 

“As much as I love this whole romance story developing here, we still have a couple of issues to be dealing with!” Natasha said, running towards YN and Clint over the knoll behind them. There was only a moment of distraction. Only a moment of distraction while a Chitauri HYDRA weapon took out the entire left side of Clint’s torso. 

“Clint’s down!” YN and Natasha cried in unison, both rushing to his side to pull him into some bushes for cover. YN went to work quickly, pulling the small bottle of 99% alcohol from one of her pockets on her belt and pouring it over the smoking flesh. A shower of bullets rained over the trees just barely guarding the three made them all dive to cover a fading Barton. 

“Can someone take care of that bunker, please?” Natasha hissed, and almost immediately there was a dash of green and the bunker was set on fire. Hulk took a large gun from the flames and tore it in two, getting distracted quickly by the sounds of Thor’s lightning. 

“Thanks, Papa!” YN cheered, still working on Clint’s side to stop the bleeding. She stabbed him in the neck with a shot of morphine and almost immediately, his groans and cries of pain subsided to small, hoarse whimpers. 

“Starks!” Steve grunted over the crashing sound of metal on metal. “Get inside!”

“We’re on it!”

There was a rush of Natasha informing the team that Clint was hit pretty bad, and YN looked down at her work— the white of the gauze she had on hand already turning an ugly crimson red. It wasn’t long until Thor appeared with the sound of thunder following him. YN smiled up at him gratefully and he winked, tousling her hair and leaving her a few choice words before scooping Natasha and Clint into his arms. 

“Find your father,” His voice rumbled. “Get him to the jet when you can.” Before he jumped off the ground. 

Finding her dad wasn’t hard. It was simply a means of following the sounds of groans and crashing and the trail of broken trees snapped clean in half. She found him later, in a clearing, stomping around and throwing heavy chunks of metal as far as he could. She watched him, folded clothes in her lap as she crouched on the ground and waited for Big Guy to see her on his own. Calling attention to herself would only make him lash out, and she knew the last thing her father would want would be to show that side of him to his baby girl. 

His fiery green eyes landed on her soon enough, and Hulk suddenly looked horrendously nervous and scared. 

“Hey, Dad,” YN spoke to her father, knowing that if she did, both Bruce and Hulk would see that is what she needed from them.

 “Time to head out. Clint’s been hit pretty bad and we need to get home so we can get him back on his feet for Saturday. Cho’s gonna try out that machine we’ve been working on, and I think it would be really cool if you were there to see our little baby working for the first time.” YN continued, walking slowly towards the Hulk who seemed to be entranced by her voice. It only took her to get a foot away from him and a simple touch on his arm for his muscles to begin shifting and his bones cracking. YN, wincing at every sound, placed her dads' clothes on a nearby bench and jogged away, not only to give him his privacy as he got dressed but also to get away from the noises of pain that too often haunted her worst dreams. 

____________________

YN stood up from her place at her dads' side on the jet, cradling his face briefly and smiling back at him before walking over to the table where a now unconscious Barton lay. Steve was replacing the IV while YN joined him, raising the shock blanket to see that the new bandages on his waist were now only a light pink instead of a dark red. 

“You okay?” Steve’s voice rumbled from across the gurney and YN looked up. It only took her a moment for her gaze to focus on him and she nodded with a small, very forced smile. 

“Just worried about dad is all. Nothing big.” She replied, voice weak and tired. “Are missions always this intense?” She squinted up at him and he only chuckled nodding for her to follow him to a bench of chairs. 

“No, they’re usually boring intel missions. This was one of the big ones which is why we needed everyone. I would have liked to warm you up, personally.” Steve said, turning and sitting on one of the seats. YN took a seat one space over regretfully— all she wanted at this point of the day was to curl up into his side and sleep for a concerning amount of time. The words he spoke took a few seconds to process and when they did, they immediately went to places her father would be shocked existed. 

I wouldn’t mind you personally warming me up, either.

“You’re bleeding,” she noticed, and he was. There was a deep cut over his eyebrow and she moved to wipe the blood slowly dripping into his eye. She stood quickly, grabbing a few Q-Tips, a butterfly bandage and antiseptic before returning, setting everything on the bench beside where Steve sat. 

“YN, Sweetheart. It’ll heal by the time we’re—“

“Home, I know. I just— let me do this, please.” She looked into his eyes and watched them move over her face. He noticed the red swelling under her eyes and the downturn of her lips and the crease between her brows. YN was always a nurturing person— everyone knew this— it wasn’t until this second that he realized she cared about other people to make herself feel saner. 

He clenched his jaw and nodded, refraining from gasping when one of her hands came to cradle his face gently. Her thumb brushed over the skin of his cheekbone and he let his eyelids flutter momentarily, leaning only slightly into her touch. If YN wasn’t so nervous at their sudden proximity, she would have noticed (like Giovanna and Natasha did) that it looked like Steve was about to damn well start purring. 

Steve was right— the cut had mostly healed up by the time she even cleaned all the blood from his face. It was only about the length of her pinky nail, only as deep as the white tip of that nail, but YN still made sure to clean it properly and bandage it even more so. She pressed the small band-aid to the skin thumb brushing just barely over it before trailing her hand down his face and resting on the side of his neck. The two hadn’t even realized that his hand had come to rest on her waist, pulling her barely closer. 

“All done, Cap.” Her voice was weak, and he blinked his way out of the YN spell he had just been put under.

“Thank-you, Sweetheart.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper as the jet touched down and she stepped away. The rest of the team turned to look anywhere but them when she did so, and she met Giovanna and Natasha at the door to the tower. Both women were waiting, cheeky, smug smiles on their faces at YN’s own dreamy, blushing expression. 

“Not a word.”

“But—“

“Not. A word.”

_______________________

The tower was full of people neither Giovanna nor YN knew by the time the clock struck nine. Since Giovanna was only born nine days before YN had been, both girls decided it would be the most fun (and easiest for everyone) to have a joint birthday party every year. This year was particularly exciting, as Thor Odinson happened to be in the realm, his booming laughter and mead flowed, making everyone over the moon with happiness and excitement.

Steve cradled the beer bottle in his hand gingerly as Sam walked with him up the steps to the second sub-floor of the public common room. The beer had, of course, been spiked with the Asgardian liquor, and Steve could feel it already working in the tingles of his fingertips and toes and lips. He, however, was restless as he told a story absently to Sam, who seemed to pick up the reason why his best pal seemed so distracted at the moment. 

YN was nowhere to be seen. 

“Sounds like a hell of a fight, sorry I missed it” Sam responded to Steve’s story about the mission that had taken place only hours before. It had turned out to be majorly successful. Strucker was behind bars and the Sceptre was in the labs upstairs, to be returned to Asgard the following morning when Thor was set to leave. 

“If I knew it was gonna be a firefight, I absolutely would have called,” Steve replied, beginning to join Sam, leaning against the balcony railing overlooking the party. 

“No, No, I’m not actually sorry. I was tryna sound tough, you know? I’m very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons' case. Besides, from what I read of the report, you and a certain radioactive little lady were perfectly capable of handling it yourselves.” Sam smirked in satisfaction as Steve looked frustrated at the news of Bucky still being a cold lead paired with the flustered-ness of the mention of YN’s name. 

“We didn’t even fight together. It was her first mission and she did—“ Steve cut himself off, then, the breath having suddenly disappeared from his lungs. Natasha, Giovanna and YN had walked into the room together. Natasha, in a classic black and white dress, sky high heels to match, Giovanna in some dark, colourful designer dress with wide shoulder pads and YN in the prettiest dress Steve had ever seen since the 40s. 

It wasn’t much, a simple off the shoulder black dress with sleeves that ended just below her elbows. The dress had a skirt that flared prettily over her hips and thighs, ending just above her still-bruised knees and shins. The heels made her the tallest girl in the trio, and the margarita in her hand seemed to be one of the only things keeping her in the too-full room. She, bruises and all, was probably the prettiest thing he had seen in at least 80 years. his mouth watered at the sight of her revealed skin, fingertips itching to ghost over it and make her shiver just for him. 

“Steve?

“What?”

“I was asking you something. You okay, man?” Sam asked, worried that the sound of the three hundred people in the area was beginning to overwhelm him. Sam only needed to follow his sight line to see what was truly distracting him.

“Oh, okay.” Sam smirked, bumping his shoulder into Steve’s. “Guess the guests of honour have finally arrived, then.”

“Who?” Steve whipped his head to look sharply at Sam. His eyebrow was raised already, smug smirk over his face as he leaned over the railing. When Steve still looked dazed and confused, Sam jut his chin YN’s general direction just as she let out a loud laugh that carried across the room and settled in Steve’s bones. “YN? No. I— she’s not— I’m not— we’re not—“

“Okay, then.”

_________

“You’re distracted,” Giovanna said about an hour later. Her best friend had been quiet all night and not for the simple reason of exhaustion. The pair had been all day in the lab, working with their dads to try to crack and reprogram the alien technology they only had for a few more hours. Usually, with their four heightened IQ’s and a few hours, the four would be able to solve any issue easily with time to spare. This, however, was something entirely new and entirely frustrating. 

“I’m drunk,” YN mumbled over the rim of her glass, taking a sip and wincing at the sting of the mead Thor had teasingly slipped in her drink in passing. Giovanna scoffed and motioned for the bartender to bring her another drink. 

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s going on, then?”

“It’s nothing, honestly—“

“It’s something and I’m going to annoy you until you tell me,” Giovanna promised with a petty smile and YN knew her words were true— it happened more often than she liked to admit. 

“Fine! Okay— I’m a powerful Avenger with one of the best brains in the world. I’m twenty-one in four days and I’m a virgin and Steve Rogers is drunk wearing a shirt that looks like it's going to rip off at any second.” She almost growled in frustration, sucking in a breath when Steve bent over to take another shot at the pool game he was playing with Sam— the man from the hospital. He had sunk the eight ball and threw his arms in the air and the muscles in his back flexed with the motion. She practically whimpered when he let out a triumphant yell, deep voice resounding over the room.

“Have you had wine yet tonight?” Giovanna asked after making a noise similar to when she was thinking about a lab issue.

“No, I’ve been having beer why?”

“Hmm. You’re hornier than usual.”

“No, I’m not— just at an all-time high of sexual frustration. That rabbit you got me last year is doing nothing for me anymore.” YN grumbled, forcing herself to turn away from Steve who was now heckling Sam playfully. 

“You know, Tristan from Tech has the biggest crush on you. I’m sure he’d say yes in a heartbeat if you asked.” Giovanna tried, only becoming frustrated with the way YN shook her head again. 

“You and I both know that that won’t be happening.”

“A girl can try to get her best friend laid.”

“A girl can make Captain America fall in love with her best friend.” YN retorted, throwing Giovanna a quick apology at her rudeness. Giovanna waved her hand as if to swat the apology away. If anyone knew the emotional roller coaster fo sexual frustration it was her— at least she knew what she was missing out on. Poor YN was completely and entirely clueless— in more ways than one.

________________

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[cowboyguts-moved]

Ok i’ve GOT to know 14 and 15 because josh...you have a torment hard-on unlike anyone else i have ever seen...why do you always have one OC who’s like a fucking orphan with a peg leg and almost starved to death as an infant or another one who ended up in the hospital and lost all of their money because their small time drug dealer turned out to be working for the colombian cartel and robbed them blind. josh why

ok tumblr wont let me post all of it but gimme a sec and ill edit this ask

edit:

HHSHDJDKXNXJDJZNSJ WHAT'S FUCKIN LIFE WITHOUT PERILOUS DANGER and inborn trauma and tragedy... i do it to purge myself of my own problems and to give me incentive for research and discovering different walks of life than my own ... you almost hit the nail on the head with lewis though which is the answer to

14. The roughest backstory I’ve given an OC

Lewis was made because the head of this cult wanted lewis to be born... kinda like symbolism for jesus's birth. i don't know all the lore for this cult yet but they're a small commune north of a small town in northern California. They have their own isolated community of two hundred people give or take. Lewis' mom was a teenage runaway and lewis' dad was a simple farm hand in a cruel family who treated him poorly because of mental disability and they had to have lewis because it was ordered of them and there was sorta no way out of it...they had a boy and for some reason the birth of this kid didnt feel right and he didnt feel like... divine enough to be used for ritual practice and the ultimate mission of these cults leaders... which would inevitably be a sacrifice of the boy. haha (: and so theyre like ...try again. so now Lewis was born with a fraternal sister but they only cared about Lewis...his real name is Aloysius for petes sake, he's named after a saint. Lewis isnt particularly singled out as he grows up like he doesn't know he's being especially watched because of some bullshit prophecy that was most definitely made up and no theres no angelic godly energy running through him everyone is just a bunch of freaks. Lewis grows up not knowing his siblings are his biologically because the commune is about group-raising. everyone is a sibling every adult is a parent. he doesn't know his mom is His mom but she watches him extra close and lewis gets an idea that this one women may be his Mom mom even though he doesnt have a strong concept of what that even means. Lewis is abused and neglected like other kids, him more severely by a man called Father Gabriel..we despise him ha ha. he's the most vile evil character i will ever make. Lewis's life is fine, not fine... because he's being raised in a cult... but fine in his eyes because he gets schooling in the small community school, he gets recreation activities..this is where he learns to paint, he does labor a lot but he does love when he gets to garden and pet the animals in their barn, he sings in the church choir. the hardest part about it are his visits with Father Gabriel that occur whenever father wants them to at whatever time of day and the neglect from the Brothers of the church as well. this starts when he's about 7 or 8

he's treated especially poorly and corporal punishment and solitary confinement and withholding of basic needs is a big thing. etc etc. this is a religious cult obviously so that sort of biblical fear is instilled in him. uhhh then for whatever reason i have to iron out the kids are allowed to go to private schools close by, probably as not to seem like a closed off and suspicious cult that draws attention. lewis meets chris at his school (: hehe. lewis still has to go back to the commune every weekend though and thats especially hell because things get worse when he's in middle school. uhh when high school comes around hes actually plucked out of the school system and is going back to living full time in the commune and being homeschooled except he and 5 children are selected to go on a Retreat with father gabriel and two of the Brothers..the retreat is actually just living in an abandoned home in the middle of Nebraska and its one big sacrificial ritual thats lasts a year and the kids are of course neglected, made to do odd rituals, are humiliated. uhh basically its Horror Movie stuff... i wanted it to feel like a horror movie that lewis is trying to escape from. theres no light in the house. they only use candles and daylight. theres limited food. hardly any outside time. the ultimate goal is that they'll eventually get very malnourished and then theyll be sacrificed... a little girl doesnt make it. Lewis is upset because he learned to love her as a sister. he can feel himself getting closer to death.... he has deep lacerations on his leg from abuse and theyre not getting treated and his tissue is dying and his leg is getting gangrene. he escapes one night through the corn field and he tells a man he sees in town to call the police and then flees. he realizes his leg is dying! he by chance meets a doctor! lewis has no money for amputation so he offers something Else and this disgusting doctor accepts!!! lewis is sent off with a bad wooden prosthetic and not enough healing time in bed and no physical therapy and his own supply of pain meds that will soon run out! lewis prostitutes for money and pain meds in mystic overhang!! he gets with very repulsive men that mistreat him! when lewis is touched he gets very pliable and limp as a coping mechanism! he stops the meds and withdrawals! thank you

15. The least painful backstory I’ve given an OC

My least painful backstory HHHSHDHSHS IS TANNER. jesus tanner grew up with a very...here or there father. he's not great at all. he's not the worst. but being around him feels kinda empty and they don't talk about much besides tanner in hockey and other common interests like that. his parents are divorced, he feels lost with his passions and where he's going in life. it all feels a bit aimless and he feels like he's on the Precipice of something bad or losing something he holds dear. like friends and memories and his girlfriend amiyah. his brother is really mean like pretty much abusive..he's 14 and he's narcissist asshole with a fucked up head and he makes his life hell and he's honestly a little frightening. sometimes his mom is unaware of the important things going on in tanners life and she's a bit harebrained and unfairly self absorbed but she is a good lady and he loves her. also we arent sure yet if this is canon material but he gets amiyah pregnant and she miscarries 3 months in SO...yeah there u have it.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hello, Haddock! Now that Voltron (sadly) ended, how would you rank the seasons? Also, could you tell how many times you've rewatched them?

Hey there, friend! WAY happy to chat Voltron and all its seasons!

Unlike most fandom culture, I’m not a chronic rewatcher, and the default assumption is that I’ve only seen any show once. It’s rare for me to see shows more than once, honestly, even ones I love. I certainly will be watching VLD more times, but because of my normal watching habits, I’ve seen a large portion of the show only once. I’ve seen S1 probably about 5 times, S2 thrice, S3-4 twice, and S5+ once. I’ve seen “The Last Stand” from S7 twice.

These are rankings based somewhat upon my emotional attachments and not simply objective elements like narrative structure! XD I already know my preferences are going to be different than lots of people in the VLD fandom, haha. These rankings are also based on memory, which is pretty strong admittedly for VLD, but it leaves room to change with a rewatch.

EIGHTH PLACE: VLD Season 8

Let’s be clear: I don’t dislike Season 8 and there’s much I enjoy. Give it up for S8 love!!! Standout episodes to me include “Launch Date,” “The Prisoner’s Dilemma,” and “Day Forty-Seven.” The women going shopping together and Pidge dressing as 1980s Darrell Stoker made my life. Not to mention… it was fun spending time with the MFEs; they didn’t take a disproportionate amount of time, but gave us good moments to make us love them. I’m thankful for the S8 ending giving us both a sense of wrap-up for the plot conflicts, but also looking forward to what our Paladins will do to rejuvenate the galaxy. There’s much I’m thankful for with S8.

That said, S8 isn’t my jam as much as other seasons. I’m not much of a shipper and I wasn’t into the Allurance, nor did I get pulled into the magic-heavy plot conflict with Haggar and her Alteans. And while S7 does give great screen time to Allura, it felt a little less like an ensemble cast and more like a spotlight on her. Enemies’ minds changed too fast for me to feel realistic, and the magic-wonky plot didn’t feel as gripping and intense as S7. It’s the reason I’m placing S8 here: from my own preferences, I attached with other seasons more.

SEVENTH PLACE: VLD Season 5

For whatever reason, S5 didn’t make as much of an impression on me as other seasons. I wasn’t as invested in concepts like “Kral Zera” and “White Lion.” Given as S5 is an odd numbered season in the middle portion of Voltron, it has an innate disadvantage: it’s written in all but name as the first half of a season, which means story arc ending payoffs wouldn’t happen until S6. I also feel like S5 is where plot writing is at one of its most tangled or muddied, given as there’s lots being juggled and introduced conflict-wise and lore-wise and universe-wise and character-wise.

However, S5 - like all seasons - gives us cool stuff. We got Matt (one of my favorite characters) participating in an adventure, lots of Lotor screentime, and a callout to 1980s DOTU that I never thought they’d be able to turn into a good episode (“White Lion”). And!!! We get to meet!!! KROLIA!!!

SIXTH PLACE: VLD Season 3

I have particularly fond attachment to S3. This is the season where I started getting actively involved in Voltron fandom discourse, giving my own take on Project Kuron theories. This is the season that gave us the first glimpse of the Classic Voltron formation - Keith in Black, Lance in Red, Pidge in Green, Allura in Blue, Hunk in Yellow. I felt a thrill go through me as Keith, for the first time, said “Form Voltron!” Also… Lance really stepping up to show his leadership potential??? So good. And this is the season where we meet Lotor, another long-anticipated character… and oh my goodness is his character introduction gold. So there’s lots of stuff I hold strong affinity for in S3.

The reason I have to rank Season 3 back here is because it’s more about the Paladins floundering around than anything else. It’s meant to create a new sense of chaos and instability… their leader Shiro is gone, and now there are new unexpected threats like Lotor to handle. However, at the same time, since half of the season is just the Paladins floundering around not knowing how to work together, it makes me less attached to particular episodes. None of the episodes are favorites or standouts to me on their own. There’s lots of cool moments throughout S3, but I think the only episode I notably emotionally attach to is “The Journey.” But still? Good season!

FIFTH PLACE: VLD Season 1

I can’t believe I have this amazing season all the way back here. I want it to be higher, except that I do have to rank other seasons above this one. 

Season 1 is what gets everything started. It sets the stage for what Voltron’s all about, teaching us about lions and robeasts and Zarkon and the Galaxy Garrison and all that good stuff from 1980s nostalgia… all the while creating a new vibe and energy to the franchise. In retrospect, S1 feels much calmer and less high-stakes than the rest of the series (especially post S2). However, it’s a solid season with good episodes that never feel less solid and good. We get great Hunk material with him finding conviction; great Shiro and Pidge moments as they share different worries over the abduction; hilarious Keith and Lance clashes; lots and lots and lots of good things. It’s a very solid season, especially once we launch off Arus.

FOURTH PLACE: VLD Season 6

If you want to know how tight my season rankings are to each other, S6 was almost listed second place.

I attach to specific episodes in particular for S6. I love the visuals in “Razor’s Edge.” I died howling with laughter in “Monsters & Mana.” I fell into so many emotional feels regarding Keith and Shiro in “The Black Paladins.” We get one of the all-time best emotional, action-oriented episodes of VLD… and one of the most amazing, hysterical filler episodes in S6. Despite being seven episodes long, S6 is an incredible ride and adventure start to end. It’s hard to believe so much occurred in that amount of time!

There’s hoards of great stuff in this season. We get the Kuron arc resolved, with lots of emotional content between Keith and Shiro. We get the Lotor arc resolved, learning whether or not he can be trusted, with great Lotor and Allura time. We get Keith returning to the Paladins. We get the introduction of Romelle, which all DOTU lovers have been waiting for forever.

THIRD PLACE: VLD Season 4

I have to put VLD S4 here because of its emotional power. There are damned AMAZING moments this season, alongside some of my favorite episodes and moments of all time. I know I and some of the other fans aren’t huge on “The Voltron Show!” But fuck it, guys, S4 gave us “Reunion” and “A New Defender”!!!

Matt is a delight this season, from his first meeting of Allura, to his tour around the Castle of Lions with Pidge, to his technological connections with his sister and Hunk, to his participation in the Rebels’ fighting forces. We also get some of the funniest moments for me in Voltron, between learning how to milk Kaltenecker and seeing HOW Pidge finally managed to rig up the video game system.

Then there’s the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. “Reunion” is the single most emotional episode in all of Voltron for me. Even though I’d seen screencaps of Matt prior to watching S4, I felt as shocked and heartbroken as Pidge to come to his gravestone. There’s so much POWER to this gravestone scene; it’s one of the moments that resonates with me the most even after I’ve finished the whole show. It might even be my Number One FAVORITE moment in the entire show. It’s not my place to analyze that scene here, but DAMN. 

Furthermore, the climax with the battle of Naxzela was INTENSE, with Keith almost sacrificing himself getting me screaming. That was such a great battle and climactic moment in VLD. This was a great culminating moment, in which the series has officially built up from a small team to a universe-wide conflict.

We get standout moments with Keith being badass with the blades, Matt taking initiative, Pidge seeking out her family, Allura helping Voltron flee the gravity field, Kuron becoming increasingly more suspicious. VLD S4 ramps everything up from the emotions to the excitement, resulting in an awesome and intense six episodes.

SECOND PLACE: VLD Season 7

It’s really hard for me to put this as second place instead of first place. I originally had it in first place. I want it to be first place. I LOVE the second half of S7 so much. This is, possibly, my favorite season from an emotional standpoint because wow.

It’s all-around outstanding. S7 showed us how far the Paladins have come as heroes; they operate with great teamwork, skill, and professionalism that is oh-so-cool to see on screen. They’re still the characters we love and cherish, but they’ve grown SO MUCH since their first days on Voltron. This is fully-fledged heroes doing fully-fledged battles and it’s GREAT.

S7 gives us standout moments to so many characters, including Hunk, Shiro, Sam, Colleen, Veronica, and Keith. We even get some good adventure time with Romelle! And as far as character interactions are concerned, we get touching moments between Keith and Lance, Keith and Hunk, and so many other combinations.

The story raises the stakes to higher levels than ever before, with an emotional and exciting conquest of Earth. There’s nothing more horrible and high-stakes to audiences than a homefront war. We feel extreme pain for Hunk with fears for his family, and Shiro for the loss of Adam. We feel the great sense of danger and desperation starting with “The Last Stand.” We feel the drama of a long and extended climax fighting for Earth’s freedom, including moments where the Paladins control the Lions outside their body (so cool), Shiro commands the ATLAS (SO cool), and the ATLAS also transforms into a fighting robot (SO FREAKING COOL!). This has some of the most exciting, badass stuff of Voltron ever. I love it.

Highlight episodes for me are “The Last Stand” (two episodes without the Paladins about Earth fighting for its freedom? this was fucking amazing), “Trial By Fire,” and “Lions’ Pride.” Essentially - all of the second half of the season.

FIRST PLACE: Season 2

Season 2 is probably THE MOST solid season in all of VLD. 

Almost every episode is good, memorable, fun, lovable, enjoyable, classic. It highlights the full ensemble cast. It creates an EXTREMELY exciting, exhilarating, fun climax. It is a strong narrative season, cleanly and proudly finishing the first 26 episode long arc for VLD. This season shows VLD at its best. Since it consistently delivers, there’s nowhere else S2 belongs except the top.

We get great Shiro time, what with his arc spent learning to trust Black… leading to him being a badass unlocking the Lion’s wings and taking Zarkon’s bayard. We get great Pidge time, whether it’s her freaking out over video games or drawing deeper into the beauty of the world - technology and biology both. We get great Keith time, with him fighting for answers in the Blade of Marmora and infiltrating Zarkon’s base in an extremely dangerous mission. We get great Hunk time, between unlocking his Lion’s claws and taking initiative in the Weblum adventure. We get great Lance moments, where he shows us he truly can be a sharpshooter for the team. We get great Allura moments, especially in how she fought against Haggar in the finale. This season rocks it for EVERY Paladin.

Not only does every individual Paladin get good spotlighting, but S2 also rocks it with character interactions. How Allura handles Keith being Galra is a memorable moment of character development for both of them. How Hunk and Keith interact in “The Belly of the Weblum” is a delight. How Shiro loses his cool with Slav is hysterical. I can never complain to Lance and Hunk combinations, like in “The Depths.” And of course every episode focused on Keith and Shiro gives us good feels.

Standout episodes for S2 include “The Ark of Taujeer” (THE COLORS), “The Blade of Marmora,” “Blackout,” “Space Mall.” I cannot believe I watched an episode where the character dressed as space pirates and rode on a flying cow to escape a mall cop. That happened. It’s a delight. And S2 kept rocking it with the humor, down to Pidge creating all her Paladin buddies out of space junk and imitating them. But S2 also gives us some of the most memorable moments of VLD storytelling, what with “The Blade of Marmora.” That episode is a staple for many reasons. Not to mention… all of S2 works together cohesively for the long-term arc structure.

And then there’s the climax. So well-done. So exciting. So immersive. So intense. So cool. So badass. Great colors, great flow, great plot, great everything start to end. I was in a THRILL at the end of S2 because this climax was so unbelievably fun. In retrospect it’s got competition with S7, and S7 probably takes the cake now… but fuck it, S2′s end will always be awesome.

Every single season in VLD gives me something to be excited about. There are things to love each step of the journey. I’m thankful for every episode from S1 to S8. 

What a ride this journey has been.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Rant...on depression and toxic relationships

Ok so no one said anything or did anything in particular that made me want to rant, rather this is something that's been on my mind for a while and I sort of needed to vent especially after these last crappy 3 years.

So just a lot of background in 2017 my younger brother died in an accident. Everyone handles grief differently, I didn't handle mine at all. I arranged his funeral and picked his headstone and casket, I finished my last semester of college and got my degree, and helped start a scholarship in his memory, I became the speaker and awarder of another scholarship in his memory started by a non-profit, I started some masters classes over the summer online, got ready to move from a small rural idahoan town to Portland, Oregon, and supported my siblings as they grieved. My mom and grandparents (paternal) took it the hardest and I made sure I was there for them as much as possible.

Once I moved aand started school, while i loved the independence i had and I fell in love with the city, I struggled hard. It started off great and I was doing so well the first semester, then I was having trouble sleeping. I was staying up later and later until it got to the point were I wasnt sleeping at all. I would get the urge to pace around and do quick strides across the room and then hop back in bed. Then I lost my appetite, just wasnt hungry, then i lost my ability to tell when i was full or not. I wasnt hungry but i knew i had to eat so i would eat but just keep eating until i realized that i probably should stop after eating an entire pizza by myself or a whole Costco cheesecake (what the hell I wasnt even hungry?!?!). Then I started having anxiety problems, i would try to read for class or right a paper and my mind couldnt focus or think I couldnt write or remember the sentence I just reread four times. I'd get so angry and upset with myself that I would stay to throw up. And I couldn't stop. It got so bad that so much as looking at a book or opening my laptop would have me running to the bathroom. That's when I started isolating myself from the friend as i made there. I couldnt go out because I need to do school work (which never got done) and I would just spend the day crying in front of my laptop frustrated with myself and vomiting non stop. Then I became apathetic. I went from this organized strong focused lady who could finish college plan a funeral and make time to talk and care for her family and brother's grieving friends, to this lonely pathetic sick crybaby who didnt even want to talk on the phone with her grandma (how I saw myself at the time). I didnt want to go to class which I was loving at first. Then I actually started missing classes because I couldnt even get out of bed. But I wanted to I would spend hour in bed internally yelling at myself to get up, but it felt like the rest of me didnt want to listen and I started to hate myself for it. Then the suicidal ideations began. It was so subtle and harmless at first. I didnt want to talk to people but staying at home wasnt enough because they can come find me or call or whatever. But no one can interrupts you in the shower. So I started taking long showers. It was only once a day. Then it became twice a day. Then three. Showers turned into baths(which I hated as a until then) and pretty soon I was spending the whole day in the bathroom thinking about how much I just wanted to disappear. Just wanting to be left alone in the tub and never come out again. I didnt it think it was bad, but when I told my friend (who was seriously concerned at my avoidance of her and missing classes) she did think it was bad. I started going to a counselor and eventually started taking medication for sleep and depression (which was later switched to medication for PTSD). I finished the year and did well thanks to the support of my cohort and professors. Then my cousin died and I came back home to take care of my family. I took the year off. And in this year my aunt died, another cousin and this three sons were in a terrible accident which killed three of them and left one with permanent brain damage, and my mother left.

My mother leaving is kind of a big one because this isnt the first time. I just want to say that I love my mother and she has never physically or verbally abused me. But she is toxic as hell. She never grew up. Eloped at 18 to get out of an abusive household, had me at 19 and then my brother at 20, then my father died, she took care of us with the help of my grandparents for a while, then she took off for California with some guy and left me and my brother until her parents made her come back. Then she had my other brother. She was good for a couple of years and then had an affair and took off with some one for a couple of months, she came back. Then she had my sister, miscarried 2 times, and eventually had my baby brother (now 7). And she was mostly doing good, of course I was a co-parent, i took thier schooling and safety more seriously than my mom. If it wasnt for my grandparents, my brother and I wouldnt have had childhoods. He was my partner co-parent, but at my dads parents he was just my brother and best friend. My mom loves us but she is selfish. So I always tried to be selfless, but I also tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because she always comes back. She never apologizes or acknowledges what she had done she just comes back. It never bothered me before I just thought "well this is how she is and I mean she loves me and comes back, she isnt abusive so I cant complain".

Well she left in March and while my other brother and I had been through this and were just kind of indifferent to it. My sister was devastated and my little brother and his routine were messed up. My step dad was an angry mess and so I took care of them all and tried to be the adult (I mean I am an adult right?). I informed him of his rights and options such as divorce. He said he wanted to and I said I could help him with the papers. But I mean I figured she'd come back and i told my sister this over and over again. But honestly i was starting to become less indifferent as I watched what this was doing to her 16yr old psyche and how much it was hurting my brother especially because he didnt seem to understand what was going on.

She came back the beginning of this month after two weeks of coming back to the home to try to take her stuff, fighting with my stepdad, trying to take my little brother (not my sister which also hurt her feelings) and then stealing money from my brother.

And the thing is yall, I was ready and willing to just accept that and just do what we always do and pretend that it didnt happen even though for the first time (I was angry about it because of how much my siblings were hurting). But the thing is, my mother wont talk to me or look me in the eye. She came back and I tried to say high and give her a hug and she just avoided me. Which I was like ok fine you are in a mood let me know when that is over. Then my brother got into an accident (not fatal or serious thank God). She could have called me to let me know, to asked me to pick up the kids, to let me calmly inform them. She did not. She called my sister in a panic to tell her that my brother was in a bad accident (it wasn't) and they were looking for him and for her to find a ride home with a friend. This of course sent my sister into a panic attack she didnt know what to do or even if anyone had picked up our little brother. So she did what all of my siblings do when they are scared, in danger, or completely unaware of what they should do: She called me.

I calmed her down I told her to get on the bus and I'd stay on the phone with her. I had my grandma call the police department to see if they knew of the accident and could give information that would help me locate my brother (they couldnt) and had her call the school to see if anyone had picked up my brother (my stepdad had). I stayed on the phone with her as my grandpa drove me to the house to go get her because I didnt want her to be alone.

When I got there my mom and step dad had just arrived with my brother's (my brother had a panic attack at the wheel and went off the road into a field. No one was harmed but the policeman on duty saw it and my brother was taken to the nearest hospital because he hadn't calmed down and was having trouble breathing (he also has asthma). I get there check on him and my other siblings, we have a group hug (corny, but after losing our brother in a car accident previosly, we all were freaked and needed one). And my stepdad came up to me and thanked me for coming down to check on everyone. My mom rushed inside. I followed and she started putting pot and pans on the stove and didnt look at me. I said hi. She didn't turn around but said hey. I started to tell her what she should have my brother take for his nerves (old wives tale stuff but like in my mind it works so I am going to suggest it ok). Never looks at me. Or acknowledges what I am saying. Some I tell my stepdad. Look my siblings over one last time and head back to my grandparents house. On the way back I realize that she had no intention of calling me. She thought my brother had been in a bad accident, and she was not going to call me. I am the one who had to come tell her about my brother passing away. I left my grandparents crying and screaming (calling a bunch of people to go over there and be with them of course) to tell my mom about it before she heard it somewhere else. And she wasnt going to tell me that my brother was possibly hurt or worse. She rather let my teenage sister panic and try to find a way home by herself than to call me.

That hurt, but I was willing to let that go. I never speak ill of my mom to my siblings or to anyone in general. After everything I still couldnt because she is my mom and she came back and I know she loves me.

The she had my sister call me a couple of days ago to tell me she was dropping of my brother because he didnt have school and she was going to a job interview. Didnt tell me how long I'd be watching him (I asked and my sister said she didnt know). So I just figured I'd ask my mom when she dropped him off. I was waiting at the door for him and she practically made him tuck and role out of the car. She never got out never looked at me and my poor baby didnt have his shoes on the right feet or tied. I Had plans, canceled them because I didnt know how long he'd be staying (wasnt long). And she had my sister call (while she was in school) to tell me that she was outside when she came to pick him up. My brother was upset because he (while she was gone) became accustomed to being dropped off and left with me the whole day or weekend. So it was a fight to get his shoes on and him out the door. Again never looked me. I smiled and waved tried to get her attention. Nope. She didn't even get out of the car to open the door for him. He managed to get it just as I was about to go over and help.

I texted her happy mother's day. Nothing. I tried calling her to say it. No answer. Called my siblings to have them tell her I said it in case she didnt see the text. Nada.

I dont know what I did. What I do know is that I dont deserve to be treated this way. I never did. And that is actually super hard to admit because when we think of abusive and toxic, I wouldnt immediately think of my mother because even though she does things that hurt us, refuses to acknowledge it, expects us to take care of her and respect her time when she doesnt have any consideration for our time and property, she is my mother who loves me. She is the same mother who took us to pizza hut on Saturdays, to the pool and water park during the summer, who bought us Christmas presents, and who we have had good times with.

But she is toxic. she is emotionally manipulative and inconsiderate. I've made excuses and even blamed myself. Maybe I wasn't trying to communicated enough, maybe I made her feel unloved, maybe I am being sensitive since my history with depression and all that stuff. Maybe I am just misreading. Because it has to me, because she loves me so I must be at fault if she isnt talking to me.

But honestly, I am tired of blaming me. I am tired of being the adult in this relationship. I already have my personal issues. My future is pretty unclear as I try to decide if I want to go back to school (my grandparents are pressuring me just to get a job and stick around idaho), or if I still even want my Master's or If I want to do something else completely. Except for when I am watching TV or with my siblings and dog I am pretty much unhappy and confused all the time.

This year was supposed to be about self-care and healing. Not drama. I am just done.

I dont know what to expect into the coming year (in academic years not the year beginning in January) but I am done with self hate and I am done with toxic relationships. I probably cant take another year off without at least finding a job. But I don't think I am ready to go back to school (I miss it so much though), this break has felt more like work even with the fun tumblr convos.

Honestly thanks to the Charmed and Fallen Hero Fandoms because without y'all I dont know how I would have made it through all this. Also thank God for Hacy fanfiction because I needed good reading material in hospital waiting rooms, and in my moments alone to keep me from over contemplating on people who dont deserve it.